Podcasts about chalmer

Do you feel miles apart from your partner—even though you still love each other deeply? Many long-term couples gradually drift into a "roommate" dynamic: life feels stable, the relationship is intact, but something vital is missing. Over time, habits and strategies designed to avoid conflict and maintain harmony can quietly diminish the spark, intimacy, and passion that once brought you together. In this episode, you'll discover why emotional distance often develops in otherwise loving relationships and what it takes to reconnect. Through fresh insights, relatable examples, and practical guidance, this conversation explores how the pursuit of stability can sometimes come at the expense of closeness. You'll learn why deeper intimacy requires a willingness to tolerate vulnerability, uncertainty, and emotional risk—and how embracing those challenges can strengthen your bond. Whether your relationship feels mildly disconnected or stuck in a long-standing rut, you'll come away with actionable tools and new perspectives to help reignite passion and create a more meaningful connection. Dr. Bruce Chalmer is a psychologist and couples therapist with over 30 years of experience helping partners navigate the complexities of long-term relationships. Drawing on clinical insight, real-world compassion, and a deep understanding of how intimacy and anxiety intertwine, Dr. Chalmer has guided countless couples through the challenges explored in his books, video courses, and posts. With his wife, Judy Alexander, he is also the co-host of the podcast Couples Therapy in Seven Words and a trusted voice in relationship education.   Episode Highlights 04:30 How couples grapple with the competing needs for both stability and intimacy—and why this paradox lies at the heart of lasting relationships. 06:42 What often surprises couples in therapy and how rethinking "conflict" can actually bring unexpected relief and clarity. 11:22 How the pursuit of stability can slowly erode intimacy and why some couples find themselves drifting into "roommate mode" without realizing it. 15:15 Real-life examples of couples who deeply love each other but have quietly slipped into a routine that lacks real connection. 16:11 How fears—both known and hidden—can keep us from bringing up tough topics and leave couples feeling stuck. 22:15 Hidden anxieties that might be holding them back, especially for men. 23:51 What makes couples therapy so intimidating for so many. 27:26 How finding meaning—even in moments of anxiety—can shift your entire experience of relationship struggles. 31:08 How facing relationship challenges together can lead to a new sense of gratitude and growth that endures—even if the outcome isn't what you expected. 37:55 Practical guidance on taking safe, manageable steps toward greater connection. 39:18 How embracing curiosity, support, and small risks can foster hope, healing, and renewed passion in your relationship.   Your Checklist of Actions to Take Pause and Breathe: Take a moment to ground yourself with deep breaths before entering important conversations to increase presence and reduce anxiety. Get Curious, Not Panicked: Approach difficult topics with curiosity instead of fear, reminding yourself that discomfort does not signal dysfunction. Acknowledge and Validate Fears: Recognize your own and your partner's fears as legitimate rather than dismissing them, creating a safer environment for vulnerability. Define Desired Change: Together with your partner, clarify what "better" would look like in your relationship, orienting focus toward shared goals. Risk Small Vulnerabilities: Start by sharing a small, meaningful feeling or need with your partner, even if it feels scary, to practice intimacy in manageable doses. Reflect on Meaning and Purpose: Remind yourself of the value and meaning of your relationship, which can help bolster courage to tolerate uncertainty and discomfort. Use Support Systems: Consider seeking guidance from resources like books, video courses, or a trusted couples therapist to experience new ways of connecting. Celebrate Progress: After taking interpersonal risks, acknowledge positive outcomes and growth, reinforcing your willingness to keep stretching toward greater intimacy.   Mentioned The Passion Paradox (course) The Passion Paradox (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) Betrayal and Forgiveness (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) Couples Therapy in Seven Words (podcast) Principia Amoris (book) Man's Search for Meaning (book) Mindset: The New Psychology of Success (book) Managing Conflict in Relationships: An Interview with Dr. Jessica Higgins (YouTube episode) ERP 110: How To Manage Two Majorly Conflicting Needs In Relationship ERP 015: Do You Have A "Unity" Or "Journey" Mindset In Relationship? ERP 446: Dealing With Betrayal In Relationship & Learning To Forgive 12 Relationship Principles to Strengthen Your Love (free guide)   Connect with Dr. Bruce Chalmer Websites: brucechalmer.com | couplestherapyinsevenwords.com  Facebook: facebook.com/drbrucechalmer  LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/bruce-chalmer-95ab70305/  Instagram: instagram.com/dr_bruce_chalmer  YouTube: youtube.com/brucechalmer TikTok: tiktok.com/@drbrucechalmer  Podcast: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/couples-therapy-in-seven-words/id1517231158   

Michael McLaren has unpacked how the budget that was meant to help young Australians could actually be a government-sanctioned amputation.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Michael McLaren has called out the Federal Government once again for deceiving the masses over their CGT tax changes.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The guys discuss Canva’s recent profit resultsm Smiggle’s slump smashes Premier, Adir updates us on Catapult’s strong performance, Chalmer’s CGT cluelessness, why we need autonomous cars now and Adam’s run in with a golf buggy. Thanks to our sponsor Acquire Intelligence - visit https://acquire.ai/contrarians Thanks for listening! Join us on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/the-contrarians-with-adam-and-adir-podcastSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/BdRj4uZJuys. Is couples therapy always a good idea? (Turns out, no!) When might it hurt, and when might it help? And how can you make the best use of couples therapy if you decide you want to do it? In this episode, Judy and I talk about those topics. The name of the person we mentioned who talked to us about compassionate divorce is Sarene Arias—check out our interview with her at our website, https://ctin7.com. Information about the video course I mention in the episode is at https://tppcourse.brucechalmer.com. Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer's newsletter right from our homepage. Judy's book is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.   #couplestherapyinsevenwords #ctin7 #stability #intimacy #ThePassionParadox #DrBruceChalmer #JudyAlexander

For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/TmH4h0QPNB0. In this episode, Judy and I talk about Lauren Hall's concept of Radical Moderation, and why I find the parallels between her ideas and my ideas about couples work so exciting. Our podcast interview with Lauren is at https://youtu.be/ftqRVeBptqs. Lauren Halls' Substack, The Radical Moderate's Guide to Life, is at https://substack.com/@radicalmoderatesguide. Information about the video course I mention in the episode is at https://tppcourse.brucechalmer.com. Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer's newsletter right from our homepage. Judy's book is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.   #couplestherapyinsevenwords #ctin7 #stability #intimacy #ThePassionParadox #DrBruceChalmer #JudyAlexander #RadicalModeration #LaurenHall

For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/-pQ0RKqexVQ. What is compassionate divorce? Our guest in this episode, Sarene Arias, works with couples to help them work together to create a healthy family for themselves and their children, even when they've decided to end their marriage. Sarene's website is https://compassionate-divorce.com/. Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer's newsletter right from our homepage. Bruce's self-paced video course, The Passion Paradox: When You Feel Miles Apart and Still Love Each Other, is now available! Check out the free introductory lesson. And use the coupon code “ctin7” for 20% off! Information at https://tppcourse.brucechalmer.com. Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.   #SareneArias #CompassionateDivorce #CouplesTherapyInSevenWords #ctin7 #DrBruceChalmer #JudyAlexander

For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/9QHgncrcyCc. Our guest in this episode, Xanet Pailet, went from a 26-year sexless marriage to become an intimacy coach. We talk about how Xanet helps couples discover deep, passionate intimacy, both sexually and emotionally. Xanet's website is https://howtoimprovemylovellife.com/. Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer's newsletter right from our homepage. Bruce's self-paced video course, The Passion Paradox: When You Feel Miles Apart and Still Love Each Other, is now available! Check out the free introductory lesson. And use the coupon code “ctin7” for 20% off! Information at https://brucechalmer.com. Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.   #Xanet Pailet #CouplesTherapyInSevenWords #ctin7 #DrBruceChalmer #JudyAlexander #intimacy

For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/HCPMLeURKJM. And now for something completely different… More and more people are developing relationships with chatbots—including client-therapist relationships. You might have heard some of the horror stories about chatbots leading people horribly astray, and also some of the positive stories about people finding chatbots can be helpful, supportive voices who are always available and never judgmental. At the suggestion of our son Seth Chalmer, we decided to interview a chatbot and see what she (sure sounded like a “she”) says about working with couples as a virtual therapist. You be the judge: would you like to use her as a therapist? Information about the video course that Bruce mentioned is at https://brucechalmer.com/tpp/ . Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer's newsletter right from our homepage. Judy's book is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com. #couplestherapyinsevenwords #ctin7 #stability #intimacy #ThePassionParadox #DrBruceChalmer #JudyAlexander #ChatbotTherapist

For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/eUR0twlYpd0. There's a moment in my first sessions with couples that I've come to expect. I've explained to them a way of understanding what's happening in many long-term relationships, and then ask them if that resonates with them. And that's when it happens: that light-bulb moment. In this episode, Judy and I talk about that way of understanding relationships that leads to the light-bulb moment. Maybe it'll have the same effect on you. More information about the course I mention in the episode is at https://brucechalmer.com/tpp. Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer's newsletter right from our homepage. Judy's book is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com. #couplestherapyinsevenwords #ctin7 #stability #intimacy #ThePassionParadox #DrBruceChalmer #JudyAlexander

For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/jPbj3Gm5Seo. How can couples recover from infidelity? Our guest in this episode, Dr. Monique Thompson, specializes in helping couples do just that. As you'll notice, I (Bruce) speculated that if I weren't clearly 20+ years older, Monique and I might have been twins separated at birth—we have very similar outlooks on how to help couples get through the crisis of infidelity. Dr. Thompson's website is https://doctormoniquethompson.com/. Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer's newsletter right from our homepage. Bruce's self-paced video course, The Passion Paradox: When You Feel Miles Apart and Still Love Each Other, is now available! Check out the free introductory lesson. And use the coupon code “ctin7” for 20% off! Information at https://brucechalmer.com. Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com. #DrMoniqueThompson #CouplesTherapyInSevenWords #ctin7 #DrBruceChalmer #JudyAlexander

For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/K-sFebiiql8. Couples therapy can help—especially if you know how to use it effectively. Bruce's recent book, The Passion Paradox: When You Feel Miles Apart and Still Love Each Other, is becoming a video course. And what you'll learn can save you time, money, and heartache as you work through the struggles you're having in your relationship. More information about the book and the course is at https://brucechalmer.com. Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer's newsletter right from our homepage. Our affiliate is Osuga. Find them at https://osuga.com/?ref=ctin7 Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com. #couplestherapyinsevenwords #ctin7 #stability #intimacy #ThePassionParadox #DrBruceChalmer #JudyAlexander

For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/-Kee1cpdglw. Why do men have such difficulty talking about emotions, and how does that affect relationships? Our guest in this episode, Mordy Gottlieb, works with men to help them find their way through relationship issues with courage and clarity. Mordy's website is https://thegamechangergroup.com/. Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer's newsletter right from our homepage. Bruce's latest book, The Passion Paradox: When You Feel Miles Apart and Still Love Each Other, is now available: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0G29NVZ4X Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.   #MordyGottlieb #CouplesTherapyInSevenWords #ctin7 #DrBruceChalmer #JudyAlexander  

Send us a textIn this insightful conversation, Steve Titian from Pacific Cascade Legal speaks with Dr. Bruce Chalmer, a couples therapist with over 30 years of experience, about the complex dynamics of betrayal, forgiveness, and rebuilding trust in relationships. Dr. Chalmer explains that betrayal uniquely hurts because it not only involvessomeone breaking our trust, but also causes us to doubt our own judgment and sanity. He introduces a three-step forgiveness process—forgiving yourself, forgiving the person who hurt you, and "forgiving God" (acceptingreality as it is)—emphasizing that forgiveness is an "inside job" that doesn't necessarily mean restoring the relationship. The discussion covers how couples can heal from infidelity, the importance of faith (not necessarily religious) in accepting reality, and how both the betrayed and the betrayer must work through trust issues to move forward, whether together or apart.If you would like to speak with one of our attorneys, please call our office at (503) 227-0200, or visit our website at https://www.pacificcascadelegal.com.To learn more about Bruce can help you, you can view his website at: https://brucechalmer.com/Disclaimer: Nothing in this communication is intended to provide legal advice nor does it constitute a client-attorney relationship, therefore you should not interpret the contents as such.

For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/4Op-8-uVNqU. Our guest in this episode, Keri Green, is a sex therapist in San Diego. She tells us how she got into that work (Judy and I heard echoes of Otis from the TV series “Sex Education”), and how she works with couples to help them find a satisfying sex life. Keri's website is http://kerigreenlmft.com/. Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer's newsletter right from our homepage. Bruce's latest book, The Passion Paradox: When You Feel Miles Apart and Still Love Each Other, is now available: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0G29NVZ4X Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.   #KeriGreen #CouplesTherapyInSevenWords #ctin7 #DrBruceChalmer #JudyAlexander

For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/Vtxd-WhmdhQ. Are you wondering if you should stay together or call it quits on your relationship? This is a question many of the couples who consult me (Bruce) are struggling with. How can you figure it out? We offer some basic guidelines. And we talk about Bruce's latest book, The Passion Paradox: When You Feel Miles Apart and Still Love Each Other. It's a workbook that helps couples find their passion again, or if not, to decide how to move on. The Passion Paradox is available at this link: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0G29NVZ4X Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer's newsletter right from our homepage. Our affiliate is Osuga. Find them at https://osuga.com/?ref=ctin7 Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com #couplestherapyinsevenwords #ctin7 #stability #intimacy #ThePassionParadox #DrBruceChalmer #JudyAlexander

Dr. Bruce Chalmer is a psychologist, author, couples' therapist, and podcast host with over 30 years of working with couples. Through his teaching, consulting, writing, podcast episodes, and videos about relationships, Dr. Chalmer's ideas have helped thousands of couples as well as other therapists. He is the author of 3 books with another one as a work in progress, co-hosts the Couples Therapy in Seven Words podcast along with his wife, educator Judy Alexander. In this positive, uplifting, and entertaining episode, Dr. Chalmer shares valuable insights and information regarding creating balance in a relationship, how to navigate through the challenging times, and most of all, the power of seven simple words which is the key to every healthy relationship. Download this episode to hear his story and learn how we can all nurture healthy relationships through these seven simple words. It is fascinating and important information we can all apply not only to our romantic relationships, but our relationships with friends, co-workers, siblings, strangers, and even with ourselves.    Connect with Bruce:     https://brucechalmer.com/ https://www.facebook.com/drbrucechalmer https://x.com/brucechalmer https://www.youtube.com/user/brucechalmer https://www.instagram.com/couplestherapyinsevenwords

For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/5Zjls4_QWWw. Our guest in this episode, Juno Thorne, describes his personal—very personal—journey to escape from ideas he found toxic, accept his natural urges rather than suppress them, and revitalize his marriage. His recent book, Sacred Freedom, seeks to show men, especially Christian men influenced by purity culture, how faith and desire can be reconciled. We did this interview with cameras off, and the picture Juno provided is not of him. We talk about why in the interview. Juno's website is https://www.junobthorne.com/. Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer's newsletter right from our homepage. Bruce's latest book, The Passion Paradox: When You Feel Miles Apart and Still Love Each Other, is now available: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0G29NVZ4X Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.   #SacredFreedom #PurityCulture #Juno Thorne #CouplesTherapyInSevenWords #ctin7 #DrBruceChalmer #JudyAlexander

For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/6po5SBY5QMQ. How can you talk to your kids to soothe them and get through to them, rather than shut them down? Our guest in this episode, Dr. David Marcus, has worked with families dealing with high-conflict divorce, and advocated for children with courts and family lawyers. He tells us about his work, including a very moving story about silent sessions with a 15-year-old girl, and the delightful sport of “Mad Ball.” Dr. Marcus's website is http://parentrx.org/. Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer's newsletter right from our homepage. Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com

For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/vhzae0ucbjQ. What's the difference between dating and courting? Why do so many women pick guys on dating apps who later turn out to be bad husband material? Our guest in this episode, Jeremy Nelson, has created a dating app with a very different approach, one that promotes intentional courtship with a view toward marriage, rather than hook-ups. Jeremy's website is https://marryingamerica.com/. Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer's newsletter right from our homepage. Watch for Bruce's forthcoming book. The Passion Paradox: When You Feel Miles Apart and Still Love Each Other. It will be available soon! Our affiliate is Osuga, makers of fine products to enhance intimacy. Find them at https://osuga.com/?ref=ctin7. Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com. Bruce's latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is now available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/. And here's the link to leave a review: https://www.amazon.com/review/create-review?&asin=B0D4B6KL79

For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/7FQ3i_dWbBk. Our guests in this episode, Nancy Levine and Rachel Levine Spates, are a mother and daughter who collaborated on a book called Light: A Family Story of Anorexia. Their book is a beautifully written, insightful, and courageous recounting of Rachel's struggle with anorexia, and how their family was affected. The book is available anywhere books are sold. Here's the Amazon link: https://www.amazon.com/Light-Mother-Daughter-Memoir-Anorexia/dp/1578692067/ For help with eating disorders, contact the National Association for Eating Disorders at https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/. Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer's newsletter right from our homepage. Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.

For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/KD19fzxYYgg. What happened to the passionate love you had when you first got together? Is it possible for that kind of love to last? We talk about Bruce's latest book, The Passion Paradox: When You Feel Miles Apart and Still Love Each Other. It's a workbook that helps couples find their passion again, or if not, to decide how to move on. The paradox of the title refers to the needs we have for both stability and intimacy; we need them both, but they require different, and often conflicting, skills. Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer's newsletter right from our homepage. Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com. For the audio-only version of this podcast, visit https://ctin7.com. #couplestherapyinsevenwords #ctin7 #faith #stability #intimacy #ThePassionParadox #DrBruceChalmer #JudyAlexander

For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/TjcflWWUghM. Our guest in this episode, Christian de la Huerta, talks about his own journey toward spiritual transformation, and how he helps people along their own journeys. His most recent books are Awakening the Soul of Power: How to Live Heroically and Set Yourself Free and Conscious Love: Transforming Our Relationship to Relationships. Christian's website is https://soulfulpower.com/. Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer's newsletter right from our homepage. Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com. Bruce's latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is now available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/. And here's the link to leave a review: https://www.amazon.com/review/create-review?&asin=B0D4B6KL79

For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/cXEgVCnBIq4. You've heard of the Serenity Prayer, especially in the context of 12-Step programs such as AA. But what is the Meta-Serenity Prayer? In this episode, we talk about it. Why did Bruce invent it? What does it have to do with faith? Along the way, we also talk about what kind of couples therapy might actually help you, as opposed to wasting your time or making things worse. Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer's newsletter right from our homepage. Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com. Bruce's latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/. And here's the link to leave a review.

For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/xvDCFU85faA. Our guest in this episode, Caroline Kobylinski, overcame a history of emotional chaos, substance use, eating disorders, and toxic relationships. She's applied what she learned through those struggles to helping both individual clients and couples. And she does it with humor and refreshing forthrightness. We had a lot of fun talking with Caroline. Caroline's website is http://www.cwkcounseling.com. Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer's newsletter right from our homepage. Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com. Bruce's latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is now available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/. And here's the link to leave a review: https://www.amazon.com/review/create-review?&asin=B0D4B6KL79  

“Betrayal in Relationships – Is Forgiveness Possible?” – with Dr. Bruce Chalmer Dr. Bruce Chalmer is a Licensed Psychologist in Vermont who has been working with couples for over 30 years. In this podcast, he offers his insights about the topic of betrayal in relationships. Dr. Chalmer explains what betrayal is, why people betray each other, and how to rebuild trust after a betrayal has occurred. Through his teaching, consulting, and books, his ideas have helped thousands of couples and their therapists. Together with his wife Judy Alexander, Dr. Chalmer hosts the podcast “Couples Therapy in Seven Words.” Dr. Chalmer's book entitled “Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again,” helps us to understand why betrayal happens in relationships, and how to rebuild trust so that the wounds of betrayal can be healed. Show Notes:A substantial number of couples come to Bruce because major relationship betrayals have occurredTherapy is not a cookie cutter approach to healing relationshipsDr. Bruce defines betrayal as:1. Something big2. The expectations you have in a certain relationship (i.e., spouses, family, co-workers)3. Lies happen4. Mistrust resultsDr. Bruce's Structure for Couples Therapy1. First session: Understand why a couple wants to be together, and 2 sets of needs that need to be meta. Stability (Knowing how to keep the relationship stable, not pushing buttons)b. Intimacy (Being open and honest with the ability to tolerate anxiety rather than avoid it)2. Lightbulbs will go off in the couple's minds and they will see where intimacy and stability are compromised3. Treatment goals are made, part of which is to increase both stability and intimacy4. How will you know therapy is helping?Why do people betray each other? If intimacy is compromised, then people are more likely to betray each otherThe “Oh Shit” moment is when a person realizes that they have contributed to problems in the relationshipFinancial Betrayal examples: “I trusted you with something, and this trust that I gave you was not honored.”(Social Expectations, and types of Family betrayals)What do we do if we are the Betrayed or the Betrayer? Forgiveness1. Forgive yourself 2. Forgive the betrayer3. Forgive God (or, understand that betrayals do indeed happen)If you're in a situation where you are still being hurt, it may not be safe for you to stay in the relationshipIf it's a case of infidelity, they both need to restore / rebuild trustIf a betrayal happens, the relationship as you knew it is not the same…and you can build a new and sometimes better relationshipWebsite: https://brucechalmer.com Books:Dr. Chalmer's book “Betrayal and Forgiveness” https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/Dr. Chalmer's book “It's not about Communication – Why Everything you know about Couples Therapy is Wrong” https://www.amazon.com/Its-Not-About-Communication-Everything/dp/1667871935Podcast:Dr. Chalmer's Podcast with his wife Judy Alexander called “Couples Therapy in Seven Words” https://couplestherapyinsevenwords.com/The seven words are: Be Kind, Don't Panic, And Have FaithSocial Media:YouTube: @brucechalmer#mentalhealth #betrayal #forgiveness

For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/UG6QrQsK-Uo. Our guest in this episode, Padmini Pandya, has lived and worked all over the world. She shares her experiences, especially in the area of relationships. Padmini's website is https://www.youtube.com/@PiecesOfMissMini. Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer's newsletter right from our homepage. Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com. Bruce's latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is now available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/. And here's the link to leave a review: https://www.amazon.com/review/create-review?&asin=B0D4B6KL79

For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/7rhyEG5S260. Pornography can be addictive. Our guest in this episode, Chandler Rogers, has founded Relay, an app that helps people with their recovery. We talk about Chandler's own experience that led him to found the app, how connecting with other people in an atmosphere of supportive acceptance can help heal the shame, and ways couples can rebuild their relationships after a partner discovers behavior they experience as a betrayal. Chandler's website is https://www.joinrelay.app/. Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer's newsletter right from our homepage. Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com. Bruce's latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is now available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/. And here's the link to leave a review: https://www.amazon.com/review/create-review?&asin=B0D4B6KL79

For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/VuKfsIb8Fe4. Is everyone mentally ill? Or is it possible that most of us need support from a caring human being, rather than treatment of a diagnosed illness? Our guest in this episode, Dr. Alison Greco, is reanimating an idea from last century: paratherapy. She is training people in what she calls Structured Emotional Support, to provide help for people who might need psychotherapy, but want help. Alison's website is https://para-thera.com/. Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer's newsletter right from our homepage. Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com. Bruce's latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is now available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/. And here's the link to leave a review: https://www.amazon.com/review/create-review?&asin=B0D4B6KL79

Send us a textWhen someone you trust deeply hurts you in a way you never expected, how do you move forward? Dr. Bruce Chalmer, couples therapist and author, joins us to unravel the complex journey from betrayal to forgiveness.Dr. Chalmer challenges common misconceptions about forgiveness, offering a perspective that might surprise you: "Forgiveness is an inside job." Rather than focusing on whether to restore your relationship with someone who hurt you, true forgiveness is about your internal healing process. The conversation distinguishes between forgiveness and trust, making it clear that you can forgive someone without ever trusting them again. For those considering rebuilding trust after betrayal, Dr. Chalmer emphasizes the crucial role of accountability. Without genuine accountability from the person who caused harm, trust becomes virtually impossible to restore.We also explore how healthy relationships require balancing two fundamental needs: stability and intimacy. Stability provides security, while intimacy fuels growth and connection. As Dr. Chalmer explains, "Roots provide stability, but intimacy is the energy for growth." When couples sacrifice intimacy for too long in pursuit of stability, the relationship becomes vulnerable to betrayal as someone inevitably tries to "crack the sidewalk."Support the showThanks for listening!Check out this site for everthing to know about women's pleasure including video tutorials and great suggestions for bedroom time!!https://for-goodness-sake-omgyes.sjv.io/c/5059274/1463336/17315Take the happiness quiz from Oprah and Arthur Brooks here: https://arthurbrooks.com/buildNEW: Subscribe monthly: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1805181/support Email questions/comments/feeback to tamara@straightfromthesourcesmouth.co Website: https://straightfromthesourcesmouthpod.net/Instagram: @fromthesourcesmouth_franktalkTwitter: @tamarapodcastYouTube and IG: Tamara_Schoon_comic

Be Kind, Don't Panic, and Have Faith: Healing Betrayal with Dr. Bruce ChalmerIn today's powerful episode of PODCAST with SHEILA, we welcome renowned couples therapist and author Dr. Bruce Chalmer, who brings over 30 years of experience helping couples rebuild trust, intimacy, and connection. We explore the core themes of his latest book Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again—a guide that cuts through the noise to offer real hope for those wounded by betrayal.Dr. Chalmer also shares the heart of his signature philosophy: Be kind, don't panic, and have faith. We discuss how these simple yet profound principles can transform even the most fractured relationships. From understanding the clash between stability and intimacy, to unpacking the importance of faith in healing, this episode offers fresh insights and practical wisdom for anyone seeking deeper, healthier connections.Connect with Dr. Bruce Chalmer:Website: www.brucechalmer.com Podcast: Couples Therapy in Seven Words – ctin7.com Don't forget to subscribe, share, and join our live interviews every Tuesday from 5:30 p.m. – 6:00 p.m. UK time.#PodcastWithSheila #RelationshipHealing #BruceChalmer #BetrayalAndForgiveness #CouplesTherapy #LivePodcast #ForgivenessJourney #motivationalpodcast

In this episode of Stories from Real Life, host Melvin E. Edwards speaks with Dr. Bruce Chalmer, a couples therapist and co-host of the podcast Couples Therapy in Seven Words. They discuss the origins of their podcast, the significance of the seven words that guide couples therapy, and the challenges couples face in therapy. Dr. Chalmer shares insights on how these principles apply beyond romantic relationships, memorable moments from their podcast, and the importance of communication and respect in relationships. He also addresses when couples should seek therapy and offers advice for those hesitant to start. The conversation concludes with Dr. Chalmer's key message: be kind, don't panic, and have faith.Link to send listeners to:https://brucechalmer.com/That's the link to find out more about my books. Our "Couples Therapy in Seven Words" podcast website is https://ctin7.com.Want to be a guest on Stories from Real Life? Send Melvin Edwards a message on PodMatch, here: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/storiesfromreallife. www.podcastreallife.comstoriesfromreallife.substack.com Get full access to Melvin E. Edwards at storiesfromreallife.substack.com/subscribe

For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/i3vNYsGMDtc. Why do couples so often start off passionately in love, and over time end up feeling miles apart? And if you're in that situation, what can you do about it? In this episode, we talk about how that happens and how to deal with it. Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer's newsletter right from our homepage. Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com. Bruce's latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/. And here's the link to leave a review.

For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/B4933wXvmY8. Our guest in this episode, Malisa Hapner, told us she maxed out the Adverse Childhood Experiences questionnaire—which means she went through an enormous load of trauma. Judy and I found her journey of overcoming shame and finding compassion for herself and others to be inspiring, and I hope you do too. Malisa's website is https://linktr.ee/Mdhepner. Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer's newsletter right from our homepage. Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com. Bruce's latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is now available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/. And here's the link to leave a review: https://www.amazon.com/review/create-review?&asin=B0D4B6KL79

In this powerful episode, I'm joined by Dr. Bruce Chalmer—psychologist, author, and podcast host—for an in-depth discussion about betrayal, forgiveness, and the path to healing. Dr. Chalmer shares his deeply personal journey from pain to purpose, what drew him into clinical work with couples, and why betrayal demands a very different approach to healing. We talk about the distinction between guilt and shame, the stages of rebuilding trust, and how forgiveness is truly an inside job. If you've ever struggled with whether to stay, how to heal, or what it really takes to move forward, this episode will speak directly to your heart.  What You'll Learn:  Why betrayal is not just a relational rupture but a nervous system shock  How Dr. Chalmer's personal experience shaped his work with couples  The misunderstood difference between guilt and shame  Why forgiveness is about releasing pain—not condoning behavior  What it really means to rebuild something better than before  The two-way nature of trust and how both partners play a role in restoring it  The unexpected gifts that can emerge from betrayal  Resources & Mentions:  Dr. Bruce Chalmer's site: www.brucechalmer.com  “Couples Therapy in Seven Words” Podcast  Trust Again by Dr. Debi Silber  The 5 Stages from Betrayal to Breakthrough® framework  Reclaim-for the betrayed: https://thepbtinstitute.com/reclaim/  Rebuild-for the betrayer: https://thepbtinstitute.com/rebuild/      

For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/s5dehbrTc84. Why are couples surprised when they first experience conflict with each other. And how can they manage it without freaking out? Our guest in this episode, Dr. Jessica Higgins, works with couples to help them get past problem patterns and turn toward each other. Dr. Higgins's website is https://drjessicahiggins.com/. Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer's newsletter right from our homepage. Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com. Bruce's latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is now available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/.

For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/qcNpMScyLWE. I've worked with couples for whom how to load the dishwasher has been the topic that has brought them close to divorce. What's going on? Our guest in this episode, Talia Bombola, applies insights from psychodynamic therapy to help couples and individuals figure out what's going on, and save themselves from a lot of misery in the process. Talia's websites are  https://www.therapywithtalia.com/ and https://taliabombola.com/. Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer's newsletter right from our homepage. Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com. Bruce's latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is now available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/. And here's the link to leave a review: https://www.amazon.com/review/create-review?&asin=B0D4B6KL79

For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/oSYU5GCa0YM. Our guest in this episode, Kristan Swan, has been a landscape designer and business coach. We talk about how her work helping entrepreneurs has often overlapped with the kind of relational work that Bruce does with couples. Kristan's book Spaghetti on the Wall is designed to help people learn more about themselves and thereby make better decisions. She has also developed an eight-week workshop called “Discovering Your Spiritual Autobiography.” Kristan's website is https://kristanswan.com/. The Stability and Intimacy Assessment form Bruce mentioned is at https://forms.gle/1Pj8MUQDH2cYfbVW7. Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer's newsletter right from our homepage. Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com. Bruce's latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is now available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/. And here's the link to leave a review: https://www.amazon.com/review/create-review?&asin=B0D4B6KL79

For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/NFNHWEpG2nM. In my book Betrayal and Forgiveness, I define forgiveness as an “inside job.” Among other things, that means that you can forgive people who have committed acts of pure evil—because forgiving just means you can think about what happened without being consumed by anger or panic. Forgiveness is about healing yourself. To paraphrase Anne Lamott, forgiveness gets the rat poison out of you. Then you can think about how to handle the rat. Defined in that way, forgiveness has essentially nothing to do with your relationship with whoever hurt you. You can forgive people you still don't trust. You can forgive people you'll still divorce, or sue, or prosecute. You can even forgive people you went to war against, and would do so again if necessary. I commented in the book that this implies that I, a Jew, could forgive the Nazis. Well, Judy and I put that to the test. We returned recently from a Jewish heritage trip to Germany. It was…well, listen and see what you think! Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer's newsletter right from our homepage. Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com. Bruce's latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/. And here's the link to leave a review.

For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/inmBJ6AlwNU. Judy and I had the great honor and delight of interviewing the doyenne of Jewish cooking, Joan Nathan. Our interview took place on a cruise along the Main River in Germany, where we were on a tour of Jewish historical sites along the Main and Rhine. Joan was on the tour, and we all had the magnificent experience of a bistro meal with her, using her own recipes. We'll be doing another episode about how the experience of touring Jewish-related sites in Germany fits in with my (Bruce's) writings about forgiveness. It's complicated! But for this episode, we're focusing on Joan Nathan. She talks about how her career got started, her long marriage that ended with her husband's death about five years ago, and more. Joan's website is http://joannathan.com/. Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer's newsletter right from our homepage. Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com. Bruce's latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is now available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/. And here's the link to leave a review: https://www.amazon.com/review/create-review?&asin=B0D4B6KL79

For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/B7buGaYYF98. Couples in which one or both have a diagnosis of ADHD can encounter some particular challenges. Our guest in this episode, Lisa Rabinowitz, specialized in working with ADHD or otherwise neurodiverse couples. She tells us about how she helps them find their way to more satisfying relationships. Lisa's website is https://counselorforcouples.com/. The assessment tool that Bruce mentioned is at https://forms.gle/1Pj8MUQDH2cYfbVW7. Please take it for a test run! Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer's newsletter right from our homepage. Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com. Bruce's latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is now available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/. And here's the link to leave a review: https://www.amazon.com/review/create-review?&asin=B0D4B6KL79  

Welcome to Short Take #5. In this series Judy and I talk about some of our (well, mostly my) favorite topics in bite-size morsels. Today's topic: Betrayal and Forgiveness This short take is about…well, betrayal and forgiveness. What is betrayal? And does forgiveness mean you'll restore your relationship?   Please subscribe and review us! Visit our podcast website, ctin7.com, for more about our podcast, access to past episodes, and links to contact us to make suggestions and sign up for a time to be a guest on our show. Visit Dr. Chalmer's website, brucechalmer.com, for information on his practice, to find his books, and to sign up for his Substack newsletter. Visit Laria Zylber's website, lariazylber.com, for information on her book The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible. (Laria is Judy's pseudonym, and as you'll see in the videos on her website, she looks just like Judy, except she has blue hair!) To see the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/t_EQM32MZso.  

Healing from betrayal can be a daunting task, but is it possible to truly move on from the hurt and pain? In this video, we explore the concept of healing from betrayal and provide guidance on how to start the process of recovery. From understanding the emotions that come with being betrayed to learning how to forgive and trust again, we'll dive into the steps you can take to heal and move forward. Whether you're struggling with feelings of anger, sadness, or resentment, this video aims to provide you with the tools and insights you need to begin your journey towards healing and recovery. Can you truly heal from betrayal? Let's find out.

Send us a textWhat if everything you thought you knew about couples therapy was wrong? Dr. Bruce Chalmer joins us to turn conventional relationship wisdom on its head with refreshingly practical insights gained from over three decades working with couples in crisis.The heart of our conversation centers on a radical redefinition of forgiveness. "Forgiveness is an inside job," Dr. Chalmer explains, separating the personal healing process from the decision to restore trust. This perspective offers newfound power to those who've experienced betrayal, allowing them to heal regardless of whether a relationship continues.We dive deep into why communication techniques alone can't save struggling relationships. As Dr. Chalmer provocatively states, "The problem isn't that they don't know how to communicate... The problem is what they are communicating." This insight shifts the focus from how couples talk to the fundamental connection between them.The most fascinating segment explores Dr. Chalmer's framework of "stability and intimacy" as the twin needs all relationships must balance. When couples prioritize stability (comfort and security) at the expense of intimacy (authentic self-expression), they enter what he calls the "death spiral for passion." This pattern explains why seemingly stable partnerships suddenly rupture through infidelity or abrupt endings.Everything culminates in his elegantly simple seven-word formula: "Be kind, don't panic, and have faith." This mantra, born from years of clinical observation, captures the essence of what makes relationships work. The "faith" component—believing there's meaning even in painful experiences—particularly resonates as a path forward for couples navigating betrayal.Whether you're healing from relationship trauma, seeking to deepen connection, or simply curious about what makes partnerships thrive, Dr. Chalmer's compassionate wisdom offers fresh perspective on fostering true intimacy while maintaining stability. https://brucechalmer.com/Want to be a guest on Living the Dream with Curveball? Send Curtis Jackson a message on PodMatch, here: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/1628631536976x919760049303001600

Dr. Bruce Chalmer is a psychologist in Vermont who has been working with couples for over thirty years. Through his teaching, consulting, writing, podcast, and videos about relationships, his ideas have helped thousands of couples and their therapists. Today, he discusses Why he chose Couples' therapy? At what stage clients come to him Why grey divorce is a “thing” Stability and intimacy Mid-life crises… male and female Stability and intimacy The Oh Shit! Moments Ideas, ideologies, faith Bruce is so good at explaining the inside conversations while looking at the issues from a 10,000 ft. view. Listen now and then share this episode! Find Bruce at https://brucechalmer.com/  and https://couplestherapyinsevenwords.com/ Learn more about Bruce and find all his links at The Boomer Woman's Podcast: Bruce Chalmer    

Dr. Bruce Chalmer is a psychologist in Vermont who has been working with couples for over thirty years. Through his teaching, consulting, writing, podcast, and videos about relationships, his ideas have helped thousands of couples and their therapists. Dr. Chalmer is the author of three books: "Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again", published in 2024; "It's Not About Communication! Why Everything You Know About Couples Therapy is Wrong", published in 2022; and "Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back", published in 2020. With his wife, educator Judy Alexander, Dr. Chalmer co-hosts the "Couples Therapy in Seven Words" podcast at https://ctin7.com. His other notable interests include musical composition (especially on Jewish themes), choral singing, and directing. His composition "Berakhot: A Midrash Cantata" was recorded in 2005. He has served in leadership positions in several Jewish communities in Vermont. His website https://brucechalmer.com

S4 Ep#6Want to be a guest on the podcast? Send Andrew a message on PodMatch, here: https://www.podmatch.com/member/anonymousandrewpodcastPlease buy me a cup of coffee!Proud Member of the Podmatch Network!SummaryIn this episode, Dr. Bruce Chalmer, a psychiatrist and couples therapist, discusses the complexities of modern relationships, focusing on themes of trust, betrayal, and communication. He shares insights from his experience in therapy, emphasizing the importance of understanding the underlying issues in relationships, such as infidelity and emotional connection. The conversation explores the evolution of relationships over time, the challenges of honesty, and the role of fantasies in intimacy. Dr. Chalmer's approach encourages couples to communicate openly to navigate their issues effectively. In this conversation, Andrew and Bruce delve into the complex issues surrounding deception and infidelity in relationships. They explore the causes of infidelity, the impact of gaslighting, and the dynamics of codependency. Bruce emphasizes the importance of intimacy and communication in relationships, while also discussing the challenges of regaining trust after betrayal. The conversation highlights the need for self-awareness and personal growth in navigating these difficult topics.Bruce Chalmer, Ph.D.Sign up for my newsletter at https://brucechalmer.comPodcast: Couples Therapy in Seven Words: https://ctin7.comAuthor ofBetrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Againhttps://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/Anonymous Andrew Podcast StudiosAnonymous Andrew Podcast StudiosDigital Dating Podcast w/Anonymous AndrewCultimatum Podcast-The Culture of CultsThe Weekend Rant with Anonymous AndrewWebsite: https://www.anonymousandrewpodcast.comInstagram: @anonymousandrewpodcast TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@anonymousandrewpodcastThreads: @anonymousandrewpodcastFacebook: facebook.com/anonymousandrewpodcastYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@anonymousandrewpodcastLinkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/andrew-peters-a8a012285/X: @AAndrewpodcastMusic by: freebeats.io

What if everything therapists have told you about saving your marriage is completely backwards? Join Matt and Dr. Bruce Chalmer as they challenge everything you thought you knew about relationships and take a deep dive into what it really takes to cultivate genuine intimacy, stability, and the kind of authentic connection that carries couples through life's most brutal storms. You'll walk away with a deeper understanding of why communication might not be the real problem, how stability can sometimes work against you, and overcoming infidelity.Dr. Chalmer's counterintuitive approach isn't what you'll find in typical relationship advice books. Whether you're navigating serious betrayal or simply feeling disconnected, this conversation offers the kind of revolutionary perspective that can transform your relationship pain into power.0:00 Introduction5:42 Forgiveness as an inside job11:15 Communication isn't the core issue16:19 Kindness, faith, and not panicking21:47 The importance of kindness in relationships27:15 Why great sex lives are uncommon31:42 Betrayal can lead to relationship growth33:53 First steps after discovering betrayal36:50 Key takeaways on marriage and relationshipsResources Mentioned: