Gramercy

What a journey this season has been! Thank you so much for joining me, listening week in and week out. What a beautiful, teachable heart you all have. I've met so many interesting people I never would have had the opportunity to meet in the course of my ordinary life. Sometimes we have to go out of our way to meet people outside our spheres of influence. Today's episode will be a deep dive into what these past few months have taught me about the formerly incarcerated as well as the U.S criminal justice system. I'd like to start with a few statistics. According to the Pew Research Center, as of the end of 2019, there are over 2.1 million people incarcerated in the United States. According to the World Prison Brief, 10.3% of those prisoners are female and .2% are under 18. Generally, recidivism rates are over 70%. Keep in mind though, that each state has differing methods and metrics for determining these statistics. Different metrics tell different stories. For example, according to the Council on Criminal Justice, the severity of the original conviction offense is not indicative of recidivism risk nor do older people return to prison at the same rate as young people. I've included some helpful articles in the show notes for those of you who might like to go deeper on these topics. These recidivism rates matter when it comes to the people I've interviewed this season and to the work of Defy Ventures who boasts a less than 10% recidivism rate of EIT's (Entrepreneurs in Training) who have graduated from their program. What makes these people different? Why did they decide to "change their hustle" and others don't? I don't know the answer to that question. But I'm indebted to those kind, courageous, changed souls who let me glimpse into their hearts, lives, and minds and were willing to share their stories. What happens when belief systems, ideological worldviews, or long-held opinions you've defended as truth your entire life bump up against contradictions that prove those prior concepts as fallible? How do you deal with that tension? How do you explain it to yourself? Do you tighten your grip on your belief and become even more dogmatic because you fear what confronting it might mean? Do you justify your thoughts and actions because of tradition, authority, or moral superiority? It's the tough love approach to life. Or, do you let these new and different perspectives slowly seep into the fabric of your consciousness until you find yourself one day espousing a new belief? It's a slow process that eventually yields a new way of acting and thinking about others and the world around you. It ultimately changes how you live your life. Or, do you listen intently, lean in with caution, and face the fact that your supposed truths are evolving to an even larger, more inclusive level? You confront your mistaken beliefs, misplaced judgements, and misunderstood assumptions and use your newfound knowledge to transform your life and see yourself in the shared humanity around you.During this season, I imagine you might have found yourself working through all three of these emotional and intellectual responses. Certain episodes might have been easier to digest than others. Sometimes you may have felt more judgement, others more compassion. We come to every new encounter with the lens of how we see the world based on our lived experience. When someone challenges that, at first it's offensive to us. But over time, we become softer the more stories we hear and people we meet. We begin to see that if we were in the other person's shoes, maybe we might have also made similar choices. How are we to know? Eventually, your default becomes an open heart right from the start. People no longer have to prove themselves to you. You let them be who they are, where they are. They are doing the best they can with the knowledge they have at this time in their lives, as are you, and you see yourself in them. This is love.The themes I noticed this season and will discuss one by one are:1) the need/desire to belong 2) the importance of parenting 3) the desire to go back to a simpler time4) the power of second chances5) giving back6) personal responsibility7) resilienceI wanted to learn more about the psychology of belonging and what drove so many of my guests this season into the accepting arms of gang life. So I studied Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. It is a 5-tiered motivational theory of psychological human needs. Maslow supposits that the lower levels or "deficient" needs on the pyramid must be met before the higher level or "growth" needs. The levels from the bottom up are: Physiological, Safety, Love & Belonging, Esteem, Self-Actualization. These needs build on each other. If a lower need has not been satisfied, it is deficient, therefore, making it harder to progress and grow into higher level needs. However, this isn't a rigid progression. We do not move through the pyramid in a linear fashion, it seems to be more fluid based on our life experiences. So at its core, belonging means being part of a cohesive group with a shared identity. All humans have this social desire. Depending on the environment we grow up in, we achieve this psychological need in different ways. What I'm getting at is, it's much harder to look down on someone for choosing to join a gang when you can relate to the desire to want to be a part of a group bigger than yourself as well. Andy Lopez from Episode 13  speaks with authority on the topic of gang life and belonging….his words touch at the heart of the allure...a place to belong, be accepted, be loved, be family. He said something striking, "We're kids trying to be men in a world that we don't know nothing about." He had an almost parental sense of love and protection of the kids under him. Yet, the street code dictates that you solve all your problems with violence. It's a warped version of love and belonging.Some of my guests this season admitted they had great parents but still screwed up anyways - they were determined to take their own path. Others had tragic home lives. But in all the cases, there was a disconnect somewhere that caused them to feel a lack of care, support, love, or acceptance from a parent. I think the deeper issue that needs to be addressed is what is happening at home where kids don't feel valued, aren't taught who they are, or how to be a contributing member of society - the supreme role that parents and/or caregivers play in the lives of their kids. Could we stop the flow of kids seeking out gangs by teaching parents how to be better parents? As posited by British psychologist John Bowlby, “Childrens' disturbed behavior is a response to actual experience of neglect, brutality, separation. We learn self-care from the way we are cared for. The skill of self-regulation is dependent on how harmonious our early interactions with caregivers are. Children whose parents are reliable sources of comfort and strength have a lifetime advantage.” Darlene, from episode 12  understands this and sees the importance in her role as a parent in ensuring a healthy mindset and self esteem in her kids. She's walked the road of poor coping skills and low self-esteem. She knows what she lacked and is doing everything in her power to change that narrative for her kids.The third theme was that of "simpler times." I was honestly surprised that when my guests were given a choice of any time or place in history or the present to visit, most of them answered with a variation of "a simpler time." I find that truly intriguing. I can relate to that desire as well. But I also think we tend to idealize times in the past which in turn makes ...

Elizabeth's one tip to make the world a better place reiterated a long held truth, but also one I easily forget. Communication is key. I needed that reminder that "conflict is based on false perceptions of the other person's role and capabilities, and without asking, you have no idea what you're asking of them. You're assuming how they feel and what they meant, based on your life experiences" This is exactly what I needed to hear at this exact moment in life. Her advice about taking whatever is making you angry and re-channeling it to drive your ambition is a powerful exhortation that we can all benefit from. Re-framing a problem in a different light is the beginning of changing our mindset. And as we have learned all too well on this podcast, your mindset is the key to everything. Elizabeth is no stranger to this tactic. Like she said, "there is no such thing as a problem, only an opportunity to succeed." And that is truly how she lives her life. May we all learn to view our challenges as opportunities...just as Elizabeth has.Defy Ventures

Sithy brought up an interesting point on his decision to join the gang...not only was it considered just the next step because everyone around him was doing it, but he wanted the dual benefits of belonging and protection.  The need for acceptance and to impress silenced his initial desire to not participate in the illegal activities of the gang. He was slowly desensitized to the impact of his crimes on others because the praise received from fellow gang members was worth more than the values of his conscience. It wasn't until he was sent to prison that he woke up to the fact that all the gang activity was actually hurting their own communities; it was typically rival gangs of the same ethnicities doing harm to each other. I'm intrigued by his insight and want to follow up with research of my own. Why do we so often choose things that go against our good? Why do we sabotage ourselves and our communities? I see this happen in the people we vote for, in personal relationships, with our eating habits, in education. It is truly a sad phenomenon. But the  promise of change and good  comes with awakening. Sithy no longer lets lies guide him. He woke up to the reality of his choices and the harmful effects they had not only on himself but his entire community.As messed up as our prison system is, here is another individual who is actually thankful he ended up in prison because he knows it saved his life and possibly the life of a future victim. This is the paradox of life, isn't it? Sometimes we think something is bad, but it turns out to be good for us and vice versa. There are alot of people and organizations trying to bring good out of an inherently bad system. For that, I am thankful.Sithy said a phrase I had never heard before and attributed it to the founder of Defy...learning to dance with fear. I find that incredibly freeing and beautiful and relatable. You don't have to be imprisoned or formerly incarcerated to understand or relate to that analogy. We all have our own dance with fear. May we learn to hold the tension between fear and joy and learn to dance with our fear, just as Sithy has.Sithy's motto for living: "A smart person learns from his mistakes, a wise person learns from the mistakes of others." - AnonymousSithy's Instagram - sithycity37Defy Ventures

Education taught David how to hone skills he didn't realize he had. It also taught him to take the negative impulsiveness that had plagued him his entire life and reframe it as a tool that he can use, not one that controls him. Although his transformation was a long time coming, when it occurred, it was genuine. Like he said, "To change you have to want it." Once his mindset changed, there was no looking back except to use his past choices to motivate him to keep progressing forward.David's encouragement to volunteer with an organization that serves the incarcerated population and learn for yourself how to make a difference in the justice system is a wise one.  Fear is what separates us. Once you meet the inmates, then you can make a judgement, but not until then. Everybody is redeemable. Everybody deserves a second chance.Psychiatrist and author, Dr. James Gordon, expresses the same sentiment that David discovered in prison, “It's not that some people have willpower and some don't… It's that some people are ready to change and others are not.”  This might just be what being a resilient human being hinges on. May we all dig deep and find the courage to change ourselves and our world for the better, just as David has.Defy Ventures

After hearing Laura's story, the words that come to mind are: determined, brave, compassionate, strong, forgiving, teachable, and resilient. She was dealt a terrible hand in life. She confesses to her mistakes without playing the victim. She wakes up every day and chooses to better herself and help others. Her life is a testament to this. It seems that many  prison programs are what help bring about healing in so many broken souls who've found themselves incarcerated. They are finally in a place to learn things they were never taught, grow in understanding, education, and empathy, as well as heal themselves through the help of therapists, dogs, and volunteers who assert their worthiness to be loved even when they themselves can't yet see it.Dr. Van Der Kolk, the author of the famed book, "The Body Keeps the Score" says, "We have learned that trauma is not just an event that took place sometime in the past; it is also the imprint left by that experience on mind, brain, and body. This imprint has ongoing consequences for how the human organism manages to survive in the present. Trauma results in a fundamental reorganization of the way the mind and brain manage perceptions. It changes not only how we think and what we think about, but also our very capacity to think.”  This is of paramount importance for all of us to learn.  The trauma Laura experienced in childhood shaped the rest of her life. Thankfully, she came to learn this and dealt with her trauma head on. May we all learn to do the hard thing, just as Laura has.Laura's quote: "Do unto others as you'd like done unto you."Defy Ventures

Andy's generous, gentle soul had quite the impact on me. Despite his life experiences he is still an ardent believer that people are born good and he chooses to see the good in people, try to find common ground, and bring people together. This is a transformed man from the one who thought fighting was the answer to everything. I loved the surprise bunny trail we went down about dog training and learning how to read people. I'm so thankful there are organizations who reach out to prisoners and give them chances to learn more about themselves, the world around them, and how to improve their lives. If this season is teaching us nothing else, it certainly is showing us that prison education programs have the capacity to be transformational and inmates are not lost causes. Just because you make a really stupid choice does not exclude you  from growing and learning from it and improving your emotional, mental, or spirtual health. This is not the last you've seen or heard of Andy. He has so much to share with the world. Be sure to check out the links in the show notes to the articles he wrote. His story and the way he narrates it is so compelling. I sat riveted as I was listening to him speak. No wonder people are drawn to him. Andy, I can tell you've taken to heart and live what Tupac said: "My aim is to spread more smiles than tears." May we all try to be the gift of happiness in someone else's life today, just as Andy has.Quote: THUG LIFE  - The hate that you give little infants f***s everybody - Tupac ShakurBULLETT - Born to unite loyalty and love in every thug's lifePuppies Behind Bars Andy's Writings: NYU Local Blog NYU's Independent School Newspaper Defy Ventures

II was deeply touched by the simple yet profound recognition that Darlene so eloquently gave voice to: Healing is not linear. If you stop and think about it, it makes perfect sense. None of us deal with an issue and move on. It keeps resurfacing and sneaking up on us throughout our life. This is why we seek out friends and therapists to talk to. This is why we get depressed. This is why we often get stuck in cycles of unhealthy thinking. Giving ourselves permission to heal over and over again, even if it's something we thought we dealt with already, is incredibly freeing.Darlene danced around the ideas of socio-economic and racial inequality as reasons why so many end up incarcerated. Without mentioning these two systemic forces by name, she spoke directly to the effects these causes left unchecked yield in society. I appreciate that she boldly speaks to this and raises her voice yet again for the value and worth of the marginalized. Opportunities, education, and resources should not be allotted to people based on their immigration status, wealth, skin color, or any other reason. Isn't this the heart of social justice work at its core?  Gandhi spoke to this universal truth more than 50 years ago when he said, "The true measure of any society can be found in how it treats its most vulnerable members.”I was inspired by Darlene's quote from Kahlil Gibran, our shared favorite poet, to close with this quote in honor of Darlene and her life's journey. "Progress lies not in enhancing what is, but in advancing what will be." I see the work she does for Defy Ventures in this light. May we all learn to recognize and value the humanity in each person we meet, just as Darlene has.Favorite quote:Life without liberty is like a body without spirit - Khalil GibranBe a lamp or a lifeboat. Help someone's soul heal. Walk out of your house like a shepherd. - RumiDefy Ventures

Nhut enlightens us about why insecure kids are drawn into gang life - the feelings of loss of control, inadequacy, not belonging to their culture of origin or their new culture. In this light, broken people are taken with the allure of gang life by finding a place to belong and come together - not for healing their brokenness - rather ,to encourage the trifecta of false pride, false power, and false respect. He's intimately aware of this mindset and has compassion on those who find this their only way of escape and belonging.Nhut told me, "You will not gain any wisdom unless you suffer" only someone who has walked that path can utter those words. And he now sees that suffering as a gift. I believe he has internalized the words of the Dalai Lama, "A genuine change must first come from within the individual, only then can he or she attempt to make a significant contribution to humanity." May we all learn to become more aware our self-limiting mindsets so that we can grow in acceptance, loving-kindness, and character...just as Nhut has.Pawsitive Change Program - Instagram - @pawsitivechangeprogramNhut's Instagram - @art_noumenonNhut's dog training Instagram - @humblek9Defy Ventures

All I can say is that I'm so thankful for the Melissa's of the world. Those people who work tirelessly for the underdog, who clearly see the system that failed them and valiantly aim to fix those broken structures. Melissa's pronouncement of the need to address the root causes of why people go into the system in the first place is paramount to reforming it. She and others that are like-minded are creatively seeking ways to give power back to those who were never given a fair chance in life through the self- education and entrepreneurial training that Defy Ventures offers. And not only are they empowering the incarcerated and formerly incarcerated, they are actively working to create an inclusive economy by trying to shift the mind of the business owners to see the untapped talent pool in the population they serve. It's all about a purposeful and subversive shift in thinking that eventually changes the choices and actions of individuals, business leaders, volunteers, and communities. This slowly seeps into society at large and challenges the perceived assumptions we've all accepted as "normal" and thus begins the evolution of thought that transforms a broken system one life at a time. We each discover our shared humanity. The quote that comes to mind when I think of Melissa is from another great purveyor of justice, Bryan Stevenson. He says, "... simply punishing the broken--walking away from them or hiding them from sight--only ensures that they remain broken and we do, too. There is no wholeness outside of our reciprocal humanity." I see Melissa as someone who is connected to the incarcerated through our shared humanity and aims to bring out the best in those who are ready to transform their thoughts, lives, and actions. May we all choose this radical vulnerability that draws us closer together...just as Melissa has.Melissa's Quote: You may write me down in history with your bitter twisted lies. You may trod me in the very dirt, but still like dust, I'll rise. - Maya AngelouDefy Ventures

He speaks about his younger years from the standpoint of: "this is just the way it was" with not a hint of bitterness in his voice. And he never portrays himself as the victim. He teaches us that often our misconceptions, preconceived ideas, and false judgements of situations, or people, or things that happened in the past have fed our anger for so long but are often false. If he, who had every right to hold onto anger or resentment was able to see past it and forgive, who am I not to?It gives me joy to hear that Jose and his Mom are finally able to have an open and sincere relationship after all these years. No matter how old you get, you never stop needing the approval, love, or acceptance of your mom. It is proof that healing can come, but maybe not in the way or the time frame isn't when we thought it would be. I appreciate how he is striving to grow in understanding and deeper love. He's learning to trust, to love, and to have hope again.Jose's adamant and purposeful decision to change his mindset and lifestyle despite the negative repercussions he thought he might receive from those who knew him in prison, is nothing short of heroic. He finally knew who he was and what he wanted and he wasn't going to rely on other people to validate who he was. Steve Maraboli, another hero and decorated military vet says, “Once your mindset changes, everything on the outside will change along with it.” Jose's life is witness to this truth. May we all have the courage to change our mindset and to keep on living it day in and day out,  just as Jose has.Jose's quote - People may forget your name, but they will always remember how you made them feel.Defy Ventures

I'm so glad to hear that Mr. Pitts Sr. became a Defy facilitator while in prison. Can you imagine all the men he encouraged and helped. I appreciate his  insightful recognition that Defy is not there to teach about entrepreneurship solely, but that the entire program is based first and foremost on character development...exercising those muscles of responsibility, forgiveness, and the ability to examine your motivations. It was because of this internal work that he was able to eventually voice his own admission that at the time of committing his crimes he was unable to see that he was lying to himself and blind to how his actions affected the lives of those he stole from. This type of self reflection can only come from a place of deep contemplation of the parts of yourself you typically prefer to hide or justify. I learned alot about the internal politics of prisons by listening to Bertrone's experience. I also appreciate how he advises people to vote by using statistics not emotion when it comes to issues based on the justice system. His warning of placing people in the prison system who are not genuinely deserving of that punishment needs to be heard by those with the capacity to make changes to that system. He has personally witnessed that too harsh of punishment actually achieves the opposite effect. It has the capacity to turn out more warped, more violent, more biased, and more prejudiced people than when they entered that system. Is that truly what we want?Helen Keller says, "Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through the experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved." I think this approach to life is in step with Bertrone's life experience. Sometimes suffering happens to us, other times we create our own suffering. But despite the origin, character is built. May we all intentionally choose to develop our character for good...just as Mr. Pitts Sr has.Bertrone's Quote: Treat others like you want to be treated.FB - @BertronePittsLinkdin - @BertronePittsSrDefy Ventures

I know Kathy would never have chosen this path to intentionally walk down, but the lessons, friendships, and change of heart she gained while in prison were transformational for her. Our lives are but a series of small choices compiled together to form a cohesive whole. Every seemingly inconsequential act matters. They all form the basis of our character, our thought processes, and eventually our actions. After our conversation Kathy emailed me some more thoughts that she regretted not sharing during our interview. I'd like to share those at this time, in her own words, since I think they are very poignant and hold a lot of weight. She says, "before my incarceration I believed in the death penalty, I believed in 3 strikes law and leave without pay, and I believed in repeat offender enhancements. I was a tough on crime follower.I no longer believe in any of those. In fact, I am strongly against all of it.We incarcerate too many people. I also forgot to tell you my best analogy about prison: I felt like the discarded garbage of society. Just as we put our trash out in front of our house to be picked up and taken away. We discard our prisoners. We don't care where, just not in our community, never to be seen or smelled again." How many of us can relate to these opinions? A change of heart happens because of a personal experience...either happening to you, or the opportunity to meet someone it's happened to. We would be wise to heed Kathy's lived experience and consider the incarcerated humans who need love, not trash that needs discarding.Nelson Mandela is quoted as saying, "Our human compassion binds us the one to the other – not in pity or patronizingly, but as human beings who have learnt how to turn our common suffering into hope for the future." We all suffer...it's part of the human condition. May we learn how to better comfort those who suffer and see ourselves in the other so we can grow and walk in greater compassion...just as Kathy has.Quote: Winston Churchill - Never, never, never give up.Kathy's Business: State IssueIG - @stateissue_apparelDefy VenturesFB - @DefyVenturesIG - @defy_ventures

Ian's insight as to how the rest of society views and judges the incarcerated is spot on. I really appreciate his counter argument against that mindset. I love how he appeals to our humanity by reminding us that they are just people who were shaped by a certain set of circumstances which eventually influenced who they became. It's not an excuse, it's one explanation that helps us put the shoe on the other foot for a minute. What would you have done had you grown up in these set of circumstances? When we can see ourselves in the other, we tend to be less judgemental.I love that Ian brought up the topic of how he saw the world and himself differently as he educated himself. That's the whole point of education - isn't it?! Oliver Wendell Holms, Sr. is quoted as saying, "The mind once expanded by the dimensions of larger ideas, never returns to its original size." This is exactly what happened to Ian. He couldn't go back to being the person he was before he entered prison. Education changed him.I wanted to stand up and cheer when Ian said, "In life,  in business, whatever it may be, you don't know what you want until you know who you are." What wisdom that is! This is why we need to work on personal development and growth and self-reflection no matter who we are or where we are in life. I like how he said that Defy is in the business of human development. They are reinvesting in humanity and they are doing it through entrepreneurial education. George Washington Carver once said, "Education is the key that unlocks the golden door to freedom.” Ian found this to be true inside the walls of prison. Education helps bring hope, direction, purpose, and the freedom to break down the walls of our own mental and emotional prisons we create for ourselves. May we all continue educating ourselves to not only better our own lives, but to help better the lives of others...just as Ian has.Ian's Quote: “My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style” - Maya AngelouDefy VenturesFB - @DefyVenturesIG - @defy_ventures

Who he is now seems incongruous with the story he shares of his early life. His transformation blows me away. He is kind, forgiving, and generous. He is open and vulnerable, sharing his fears and deepest sorrows. It breaks my heart hearing that he wanted to end his life so bad. Thank God for somebody seeing the good in him, having the courage to tell him and in doing so reignited his spark to continue living. I'm so thankful that spark of fire in him never went out and that he ultimately decided to help kids like the one he used to be. This giving of himself brought him back to life and filled him with joy - the contagious kind.The power of being seen...the ripple effect of that ends up touching so many lives. One of the kindest things you can tell someone is that you see them - especially see the good in them. We all need that positive reinforcement. Nelson Mandela once said, "It never hurts to see the good in someone. They often act the better because of it." That statement couldn't be more true for Casey. It literally changed his life. I see you Casey. I see the good in you and how you spread it around to everyone you meet. May we all see the inner beauty of our fellow humans and acknowledge the good in them...just as Casey has.Casey's Quote: Cherish the people in your ilfe now, the people that you love. You never know when they're gone.Social Media:FB - @Casey DavidIG - @Casey.m.dDefy VenturesFB - @DefyVenturesIG - @defy_ventures

Sandy is completely others centered. She genuinely cares and does everything in her power to help make life better for those around her be it her family, her community, or those she touches through her work. What a wonderfully unique vantage point Sandy brings to each situation she encounters. It was the positive influence of her community in her own life that taught her who she was and grounded her. She's witnessed the benefits of it in her own life and sees the lack of it in the lives of others and desires to cultivate that deeply held value. Speaking of values, I was deeply convicted by her courage and self-reflection in re-evaluating her own value system at the onset of her work with the incarcerated. This is what makes her so good at her job. She knows who she is and who and what she represents, so somebody's actions can't change that about her. Personally, I think it was the strength, love, and inclusion of the community she grew up in that ultimately led to these life convictions that everyone is worthy of respect despite where they are in life.I really appreciated Sandy's favorite quote by Ghandi. But I also see Sandy's life being a beautiful example of something else Gandhi says, "In a gentle way you can shake the world." She certainly has with her unwavering love, education, and support of the EIT's in her care through her work with Defy Ventures. May we all find our place to shake the world as Sandy has.Favorite Quote: The true measure of any society can be measured by the way they treat their most vulnerable populationsDefy VenturesFB - @DefyVenturesIG - @defy_ventures

Erik was not shy in naming his problem and the root of his choices...he cared deeply about what others thought of him. Haven't we all been in those same shoes? Yet ,at the time, he didn't have the tools to handle that fear and insecurity with mental clarity. How many of us would be so forthcoming in telling others where we lacked character and understanding in our youth...most of the time we prefer to chalk it up to stupidity instead of our own  ignorance. I'm deeply impressed by the level of character Erik shows now that he understands his mindset and the vastness of all it affects.Erik certainly inspired me to look to the people in my life who have made me a better person and honor them the way he did. I love how he said, "I always thank my friends for giving me parts of them that I can instill into my character." Most of us want to take the credit for the good in us and blame others for the bad in us. Not Erik. His honesty and humility impress me. He's the real deal!The Swiss  psychiatrist, Carl Jung, aptly advises that, "We cannot change anything until we accept it. Condemnation does not liberate, it oppresses." Erik took this advice to heart by calling out his past behavior without any excuses or justification. He sees clearly how he used to be a thief, a liar, a master manipulator. But no more. All of us need to do the uncomfortable work of recognizing our shadow selves because the sooner we acknowledge this part of ourselves we despise, the less power it holds over us. May we all learn to accept the good and bad in both ourselves and others...as Erik has.Erik's Favorite Quote: "Be the change you want to see in the world." GandhiSocial Media:Instagram: @Erik928Andersson   Facebook:  @Erik928Andersson California Justice Leaders - Impact Justice Americorp - The Organization Erik works withDefy Ventures

When we sat down to talk, he had this awesome lion as his zoom background. He named him Wayne. After visiting with Chris, I learned that it couldn't have been a more perfect representation of who he is. It represents the strength of character and resilience he now possesses. Join me as Chris reveals with profound vulnerability the story of his life. Chris' insight into the human condition astounds me. He's so perceptive, intelligent, and humble. I LOVE how he said, "People have opened up to me about a lot of stuff, because I make myself safe for them." Right there. That's the key. There's no judgement. Chris brings such wisdom to our conversation. He's an avid reader and life long learner. And it shows in how he's educated himself. I was deeply convicted by his observation of  Schopenhauer's supposition that pride is having the conviction that you are something w/o it needing to be confirmed by anybody outside of you while vanity is trying to get to that conviction about yourself through other people. I just love how Chris spouts off such profound thoughts like it's nothing. We both share the same yearning for deep waters. I felt like we were geeking out together on all the great books we read and our shared love of learning.There were two particular phrases Chris said (amongst the multitude he dropped on us), that really caused me pause and made me want to spend time meditating about, and they were: "The biggest courage is the acceptance of self and risking the rejection of others." And, "If the dissonance hits hard enough, you'll push past the shame into reconstruction." What impresses me is not only his recollection of quotes from what he reads, but how he created new quotes of his own from lived experience and observation. Man! Chris is a quote machine and an excellent teacher.Chris, you have the courage of a lion now, my friend. St. Augustine says, "The truth is like a lion. You don't have to defend it. Let it loose. It will defend itself." May we all have the courage to speak the truth with as much clarity and humility as Chris has.Chris' Quote:A man who stands for nothing will fall for anything. - AnonymousandIf everybody likes you, it's because you haven't stood for anything - Winston ChurchillSocial Media:Instagram: @xhrisjohnson7Success Stories - the organization Chris now works forDefy VenturesInstagram: @defy_ventures

Quan works as the Senior Post Release Program Manager for Defy Ventures, a non-profit helping those with a criminal past transform their lives through the journey of entrepreneurship. After spending twenty-two years in and out of correctional institutions, Quan was paroled from a life sentence in 2015 and created his first company six months later. The following year, he received the Peace Fellowship Award for his work with the Alternatives to Violence Project. Quan has been featured in Entrepreneur, PBS Newshour, Talks at Google, and numerous other publications and podcasts.Quan is genuine. He is the real deal. He did so much hard internal work and is intentional in how he lives now. His desire to give back, serve, and encourage is evident in his life. At the bottom of his email Quan has a quote from Khalil Gibran, author of The Prophet that succinctly describes how suffering can ultimately change us. "Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars."  May we all have the courage to see our past, current, and future struggles as gifts to our character as Quan has.Social media:FB, IG, Twitter, LinkedIn: @quanxhuynhQuan's WebsiteDefy VenturesFB - DefyVenturesIG - @defy_ventures

I'm so thankful you're joining me for another season of listening to and learning from those who have been pushed to the fringes of society.  This entire season was borne out of a book I read about one man's story. The book is titled, "The Sparrow In The Razor Wire"  by Quan Huynh. As soon as I finished reading it, I knew I had to meet this incredible man. I also knew I wanted to learn more about what it was like on the inside and listen to the stories of all the men and women who have endured this behemoth called our "justice system." I had never before considered the formerly incarcerated as a marginalized group. But the more I read Quan's book, I began to see it clearly. This is a group of people I need to meet and learn from. I wanted to know what traumas people endured inside and outside the system. I wanted to learn what influenced people to think the way they did. I wanted to understand what makes people resilient, what causes transformation, and how they find hope again.Because of Quan's story, I learned about an organization called Defy Ventures and became enamored with their mission and purpose. On the homepage of their website it states: Defy's entrepreneurial programs enable one of America's largest forgotten communities to defy the odds. We equip them with new skills, new connections, and a new belief to match their new purpose, and succeed in their new life of economic independence." They actually believe and live out what Bryan Stevenson states so eloquently in his book, Just Mercy: "Each of us is more than the worst thing we've ever done."Please keep that in mind as you listen to these incredible, heart-breaking, encouraging stories of people who have been to the bottom and yet have risen again as transformed humans ready to offer society their best. Again, Mr. Stevenson speaks so poignantly to this topic (so be prepared for a lot of quotes by him) when he says, " We are all broken by something. We have all hurt someone and have been hurt. We all share the condition of brokenness even if our brokenness is not equivalent."  This season has touched the depths of my heart. Each person I met shaped me in new ways. This season you will hear from Defy Ventures employees, some of whom have also experienced incarceration. You will also hear stories of those who were factually innocent, yet still served time in prison. And you will hear the stories of those who knowingly committed crimes, did their time, and are now free from the shackles of their punishment and trying to rebuild their lives. Defy Ventures believes in the formerly incarcerated and helps provide the tools and hope for them to thrive outside the prison walls. Life After Prison taught me things I didn't know I needed to learn. It answered questions I didn't know I needed to ask. I hope it's effect on you is just as profound. After all, we're all stuck in prisons of our own making, aren't we?  Reaching out and helping each other and having someone believe in our value is often the difference between staying stuck within our confines or setting us free to love, serve, and encourage others. These episodes will be longer this season. Listening to people share their deepest vulnerabilities requires time and earning their trust. Afterall, these are more conversations than interviews and they take on that tone. True friends don't want to rush each other through a story in order to get to their own agenda. To genuinely see and hear others you must dedicate your time to listening. My ultimate goal during this season was that each person know that they are valued, seen, and heard by me, so I didn't rush through the stories.  I let them work through the memories, traumas, and events that led up to the incident that led to incarceration. But I was equally curious as to how they processed their time in prison and when and how transformation occured. Some guests were completely forthcoming in sharing the details of their crimes, others were more vague about events and timeframes. The emphasis of this podcast was not the crime, but how the person transformed and what life looked like after being released from prison. And their stories wouldn't be complete without learning how they put into practice all they learned and how they were able to restore their hope, their relationships, and their livelihood. To be sure, not everyone who enters prison leaves so transformed. These are the few that chose to do the hard internal work of dealing with their own demons and took complete responsibility for their choices and actions. Although you will hear many opinions about the state of our prison system and all its faults and inadequacies, this is not a podcast about prison reform. That's a political conversation for another day. Defy Ventures goes beyond the political constraints. They are not waiting for prison reform, they are showing up now and teaching strategies now and giving tools to those who are currently incarcerated so they can begin to believe in themselves again and find freedom within before ever finding it outside of the walls of prison.And if you think you have nothing in common with the formerly incarcerated, you just might be mistaken. I was humbled to my core while preparing this season. Each guest brought me to my knees with their humility, ability to self-reflect, and authenticity. I simply request that you suspend judgement and the moral high ground while listening to each of these precious souls. Each of our lives are shaped by our circumstances, choices, Providence, and luck. Life is complicated. Some of us were fortunate to be in the right place at the right time. Others of us, not so much. The first step in learning is listening with an open mind and open heart. I think all of us can relate to and benefit from the Greek philosopher, Plutarch's words, "To make no mistakes is not in the power of man; but from their errors and mistakes the wise and good learn wisdom for the future." May we all grow in wisdom this season, just as each of my guests have.Defy VenturesFB - DefyVenturesIG - @defy_ventures

 This would be so much more fun in a community setting if we could each share our takeaways with each other and support one another in our growing and learning process. I gain so much from hearing your thoughts and experiences. Thank you to each one of you who have shared with me throughout the season. And finally, as much as I look forward to sharing what I've learned this season with you, I'm equally nervous. This is very personal. It's as if you found the key to my diary and are able to read my secret thoughts. I feel very vulnerable here. Please know that we don't have to agree, this is just where I am and what I've learned, what I'm confessing I didn't know, what I feel I need to do to improve. I have so far to go...but, thankfully this is a journey and I'm on the path forward. Thank you again for allowing me to share my journey with you.So, what have I learned this season? More than I have words to adequately express. The main idea: we are all connected, what affects one of us, affects all of us. We are better, stronger, and more successful together. We need each other. I echo Holocaust survivor, Elie Wiesel's observation that, "if we want to achieve anything good, we cannot do it alone." Some concepts are still sitting on my heart, too raw to be put into words. Others have been ruminating these past few months and I have come to own these ideas as my own and am finally able to verbalize them. This is what I've learned so far from each and every guest I had the honor of conversing with. There are several overarching themes I gleaned from this season and they are: forgiveness, kindness, listening, dialogue, and giving the benefit-of-the-doubt. As Janice Bonsu from episode 10 so succinctly summed it up for us: "There is no small act of racism or discrimination." Every act, no matter how miniscule it seems, cuts to the heart. Some of the analogies used to describe racism were: the waters we swim in, a back-pack we carry, code switching, and an invisible wall. These helped me gain a better visual picture. There were also some extremely thought provoking metaphors several guests referenced, from Precious' butterfly effect, Crystal's dartboard friends, Chalmer's broken glasses, and Harold's government father. These brought broader dimensions of awareness and understanding to the sometimes narrow definitions of racism.The first overarching concept would be to appreciate our commonality and celebrate our diversity. And to acknowledge that we can hold both ideals at the same time. This is how we build unity. This is how we show respect. Tribalism happens when we find our identity from only the things we have in common. Relativism occurs when we say everything holds the same weight and we gloss over our unique and distinguishing differences. There is a third way, a nondual way….holding the two in tension. And yes, it is tension because it is a daily choice. We are human and we feel better when we fit neatly into a group. But life is messy. We encounter and interact with people not like us on a daily basis. When that happens, we have a choice to make...we can recoil with disgust at the difference or we can open our circle to include the one not like us without giving up our own unique identity. That is the meaning behind...there is no them, just us.My second observation is that there is so much fear. Sadly, many African Americans live in fear of being pulled over by the police and how the law can be manipulated against them. This fear is borne of experience and reality and is not to be discounted. Rather we need to listen and learn. How can we make it better? Just bringing up the topic of police reform sets off nasty tempers and commentary on social media. It doesn't have to be polarizing. We can't fix anything if we can't dialogue about it and come to some shared understanding. I agree with Myriama's question, "Why can't the lives of a police officer matter and my life matter?" Just because something might not be my reality does not mean I need to discredit someone else's lived experience. The sad and unfortunate truth is that in this country Black Americans live a different reality than White Americans do. We cannot judge their responses, fears, or reactions to police encounters the same way we judge a white American's. It is extremely evident given the disproportionate amount of Black Lives unjustly taken by American Police is a massive problem in our country. We are at a boiling point. We MUST listen to the Black experience so we can overhaul this system and have peace keepers working for the good, safety, and protection of ALL its citizens. It can be done, but it is going to take a deep dive into addressing the root of the problem, and that seems to be the biggest issue. Too often law enforcement feels self-justified in their actions and don't want to take a critical look at what can be done differently and/or better. This becomes highly evident to anyone who had the chance to read Officer Coleman's book about his experience in the police academy. African American citizens are suffering under the heavy hand of police brutality, but especially Black Americans and poor Americans. We can do better. We can be better. The more people that stand up against police brutality of any kind towards all people, the more it will force local, state, and federal governments as well as police forces to do the hard, uncomfortable work of self-evaluation, owning responsibility for their actions, and making amends. Another type of fear is that of the "other", the one not like me. The type of fear of someone like J. Kevin Powell from episode 14. Remember how he said that he knew people feared black men in a hoodie and that made him afraid to wear a hoodie until his 40s because he knew white people would fear him? Jonathan Saks in his book, The Dignity of Difference says: "Anxiety creates fear, fear leads to anger, anger breeds violence, and violence becomes a deadly reality. The greatest single antidote to violence is conversation, speaking our fears, listening to the fears of others, and in sharing of vulnerabilities, discovering a genesis of hope." Take some time and sit with that idea for a while to see if it rings true in your life. Just as white people find it absurd to think that we all experience the world the same way just because we share the same skin color, so do Black people. As Chalmer in episode 15 said so perfectly, "One person doesn't represent the entire race." This was a major theme repeated over and over again this season. Almost every guest, in one way or another said this phrase, "I'm not speaking for all black people here...this is just my experience." They are acutely aware because they've been put in that position too many times before.  Are there overarching generalities of both groups of people that are probably true? Yes, to some extent. But, sadly, because of ignorance, self-interest, or hate those are often quickly turned into stereotypes and then the norm. We have to fight the urge to lump large groups of people into stereotypical categories. Sadly, this is all too common. Here are some examples: Chinese people are all good at math, Indian people are all good at computer programming, Mexicans are best at manual labor, Black people make the best athletes, White people are all college educated.  Everyone who lives in the country is a redneck. Could these labels be true some of the time? Sure. But to assume any of these are always true, that is a racist idea. It is wrong to attribute one characteristic to an entire race, ethnicity, or geographic location. And that is precisely what I learned this season. Yes, all my guests were Black Americans. Yes, all my guests are infinitely more affected by racism th...

Tiara's website describes her as a sought-after thought partner, and I can totally see why. I really enjoyed our deep talk over ideas of social justice and police accountability. I especially appreciate how she differentiates between social justice vs social injustice! Social Injustice is not limited to a black/white issue...injustices happen everywhere.I can learn alot from Tiara's approach to growth. I was impressed how she took what could be viewed as something negative, or maybe even discriminatory, and decided to make changes on her own to give her the experience she was told she was lacking. How many of us would choose to do this? She chose initiative, hard work, and growing her skill set instead of victimhood or projecting hurt or anger onto others. She made something positive, her PR Network and Speak That Movement, that works towards the empowerment and good of others all because she desired to gain more experience. Tiara is not an all or nothing person. She can see nuance and ambiguity. She knows the subject of police brutality is a complicated one. She does a fantastic job, in my opinion, of breaking down the issue into smaller chunks and not making broad sweeping generalizations. Her skill in speaking so poignantly to this issue obviously comes from her years of experience in public relations communication. I am totally taking notes from Tiara in this area and will be following her lead next time someone wants to broach the subject of policing with me. No one is left on the defensive when you come at it from this angle and I think that's what I appreciate about it. I am always in need of the reminder to continually show grace to others. Tiara's closing tip was exactly what I needed to hear. The English philosopher, Francis Bacon is credited with saying, " If a man be gracious and courteous to strangers, it shows he is a citizen of the world." May we all choose to be conscientious citizens of the world, as Tiara has.Tiara's WebsiteTiara on Instagram

Corey's passion for tap is contagious. I love how excited he gets when he talks about it! I love the freedom of expression and form that tap dance allows. But mostly I appreciate how personal this is to Corey, how he knows he's part of a culture of the history of tap and he's doing his part to pass the mantle and history down to the younger generation.I like how Corey views the world and sees opportunities. For example, how he used his time traveling with Riverdance to learn more about world cultures and how each culture processes things differently. He watches, learns, and gains understanding in how to respond in different situations...when you need to stand up and defend yourself and speak out vs when you just lay low and move on. The beauty and wisdom of life experience.Corey spoke to the all too common burden of having to read a situation immediately in order to know how to most appropriately respond. He doesn't want to ignite any racist fears that may be laying dormant under the surface of someone in his presence. I'm equally saddened and astonished by this skill. I'm sad he is put in this position in the first place, that he doesn't have the freedom to just be. But I'm super impressed with how easily he just lets things go in the name of peace. He would rather live to see another day. What incredible character!We've come full circle with the backpack analogy being used again near the end of our season. I really like how Corey describes what it's like. He says he never asked for it, doesn't want to carry it, but has it none the less. So since this is the situation he finds himself in he adapts and decides he gets to determine how he's going to handle this unwanted burden and how in doing so, he can make his family name better.I greatly appreciate Sarah's teachable heart and posture of humility in desiring to watch, listen, and learn about how to not only be a better mother, but how to best equip their daughter for life. I love their strong foundation and importance they put on communication and honesty. All of us could benefit from these conscious choices in parenting and relationships.I had the most wonderful time visiting with Corey. I left our conversation feeling uplifted and hopeful. He has that dynamic personality that leaves it's mark on you...at least he left his mark on me.  I'm reminded of Maya Angelou's quote: “I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” May we all leave those we touch today and everyday feeling loved and better than they did before our encounter, as Corey has.Corey's Performance at the Hartford Public LibraryCorey's Performance in RiverdanceCorey's Instagram

Hearing Josh talk about how he's constantly thinking about it and actively working at not coming across as "shady" makes me sad. I hate that the onus is often on Black people to look non-threatening. This is not right and it saddens me that this is a daily reality for African Americans. They are fighting a centuries long battle of stereotypes and false information that are rampant among white Americans.Speaking of that, I really, really appreciate Josh's confession that even he sometimes harbors questionable viewpoints against other Black people. Would that we all were so honest and forthcoming to deal with our own shadow selves. I couldn't agree more with his conclusion that we must unlearn hidden lessons we were taught or learned by osmosis about Black people (or any negative stereotypes/ideas about any race for that matter). Giving everyone the benefit of the doubt goes a long way!One of the things I love about Josh are his convictions! He holds them strongly, but not in a self-righteous way. He is broken-hearted over police violence and the effect it has had disproportionately on Black communities, yet instead of becoming cynical about the Police, he takes the initiative to reach out to them, to learn and grow, and be in dialogue.I also love how Josh challenges us on the phrase "Black-on-Black" crime. We must come to the realization that that phrase is a racist way of saying, "crime." I really appreciate the wisdom Josh lives by at such a young age. He has already come to the understanding that we all experience the world a different way based on our experiences, where we grow up, the traumas we've faced. He knows not to discredit anyone else's opinion because it doesn't match his narrative or his lived experience. Although he admittedly gets frustrated with the systemic problems our country has, he actively works at not vilifying the other and at working towards unity. Would that we were all this wise. May we all learn to better love our neighbor as ourselves as Josh has.Favorite Quote: With great power comes great responsibility. - Uncle Ben from "Spiderman"Josh's Podcast: The Mis-Education of John MarkWho Is John Mark?Josh on Instagram

Right out of the gates JaQuintin exposes his heart in how he expresses his desire for unity. When he's explaining injustices against Black or Indigenous people, it's for the sole purpose of educating, overcoming, and healing in order to create a better future for our children. Doing the hard work now will yield positive results for future generations.JaQuinitn's insight into how there are people from every race thriving and oppressed really challenged me to stop and think and see this through his lens. It was a powerful declaration that he has given much consideration to. According to JaQuintin, the difference between the oppressed and the thriving is always self interest and the willingness to exploit others. His controversial opinion is that America is not driven by white supremacy, but by greed. Take some time and sit with that. Suspend judgement and look at it from all angles. This is why it's important to hear different viewpoints...not to get immediately offended by them, but to add them to what you know or are learning and consider this new aspect and how it fits in with what you already know.I can't believe that this was the first time I asked the question: "Why do you think it's so hard for people to talk about racism?" I'm inspired by JaQuintin's honest insight regarding the depths of pain, trauma, guilt, and fear that are embedded so deep into our collective American psyche. There are no easy answers or easy ways to walk through this. Reconciliation is usually a painful process, but it's a necessary pain that will eventually yield healing. His explanation of the invisible wall of racism acting as a barrier to unity is a fantastic analogy that describes the reality of racism in this country. This is a dialogue that is beneficial to us all because we all have a stake in this.Which of us has ever achieved anything hard alone? We normally go through the difficulties (or mountains) of life with the help, encouragement, or shoulder to lean on of someone close to us. Thus, I completely resonated when JaQuintin acknowledged that very fact so eloquently when he said, "We all have a mountain to climb and the only way we can get there is if we lend a hand to each other." That is such a beautiful, true sentiment. It is in acknowledging that none of us are where we want to be but that we're going in the right direction whenever we're helping others.I had a major "aha" moment when JaQuintin said, "Racism uses fear and guilt." It's an obvious truth I haven't been able to concretely and concisely express before. But there is now, out in the open, as plain as day. Once you see it, you can't unsee it. Watch and listen, you will see these tactics everywhere. This is a simple way to become more aware as well as a simple conversation to have with others. Question the fear, question where their guilt comes from, question the origin of where people are finding their "facts." Oftentimes, we prefer to stay where we're comfortable instead of rock the boat and question our ill informed family and friends about where they got their information from. This is one way to be an ally.I genuinely admire JaQuintin's heart for unity and his understanding that it is humility that will get us there. He is a walking reminder of Mother Teresa's quote: Only humility will lead us to unity, and unity will lead to peace. May we all have the humility to see that we've not arrived yet and the teachableness to press onward in our quest for unity, as JaQuintin has. Quote:Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate, our greatest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. - Nelson MandelaJaQuintin's book: WillieJaQuintin's WebsiteJaQuintin on InstagramWillie Lynch Letter

Chalmer speaks to racism's cousin...classism. I appreciate his description of racism not being as direct when you grow up in an area that is economically depressed and you live among the marginalized. It's just not something you see. But classism is extremely pervasive as well as a slowly boiling frustration hidden just below the surface. Passive enough not to be talked about very often but noticed by all.It fascinated me how Chalmer explained his education on racism (or lack thereof) in his childhood home. It seemed that his parents were happy to let movies and tv shows explain the experience of racism in the lives of African Americans (without calling it by name). He saw numerous positive images on tv of Black representation during the late 80s/90s.  But he also witnessed how certain movies fueled his dad with anger from the images on screen that reminded him of things he endured growing up and still couldn't verbalize.  So he learned by watching (as most children do) positive as well as negative representations on screen along his dad's responses to these images. That type of learning leaves an indelible impression on a child. I just loved how sensitive Chalmer is to his kids and understanding of their personalities to  what and how much they can bear when. It was touching to hear of his son's deep care for mankind that he was moved to tears by the story of MLK, Jr. I was also intrigued by his admission that he and his wife had such ambivalent attitudes about Dr. King when they were younger. It just goes to show how we're all wired so differently and what effects one of us deeply might have no impact on another. There are a multitude of ways to learn the same lesson.His explanation about Code Switching actually shocked me. I had never realized the depths and lengths that African Americans have to go through in order to be accepted by something as simple and seemingly unimportant and inconsequential as speech. Codeswitching is a survival skill. This was news to me and helped broaden my compassion to another area I was uneducated about. I had no idea that the need to code switch was a form of racism. I had no idea it was encouraging a loss of cultural identity. This was a sad eye opener for me.I was struck speechless when Chalmer said, "It's not so much being sensitive and being aware, that's just the foundation but really opening up the door of privilege, access, and resources." Man! I needed that admonition. I see it as a call to action. We can best help by opening up the doors for the marginalized that have been open up for us since the beginning.I'm a huge fan of visual imagery and Chalmer's analogy of broken vs clear glasses to help in describing racism was exactly what I needed to  link concepts together. White people see racism through the lens of a broken pair of glasses, we lack clarity because we lack experience. Whereas, African Americans have the benefit of clarity through their clear lenses and 400+ years of oppressive experiences to draw from. It only makes sense to let those with clear vision lead the way. If you also want to co-exist with those around you who are different for one reason or another and want to live a life of inclusivity, may you consider seeing yourself as one part of many in the great salad-bowl of life, as Chalmer has. Quote: "When writing the story of your life, don't let anyone else hold the pen." -personal friendChalmer's Podcast

Kevin actively works at helping others identify where they have prejudices and how they can work to grow and include the "other." It's beautiful, necessary, hard work. Kevin has all the best words. I'm envious of his ability to string such genius sentences together. He definitely has the gift of communication. The thing I love so much about Kevin is genuineness. Everything he does comes out of a desire for a deeper connection between differing cultures. For example, in both his book and his podcast he opens with ground rules for conversation which he's learned throughout his years as a facilitator. These are genius and can aptly be applied to our everyday lives. Here they are: 1. no personal disclaimers (I don't mean to offend you, I don't mean to say it)2. no industry speak (a short cut)3. listen with the intent to understand (listen more than respond)4. be comfortable being wrong (being human means we make mistakes and how we grow)5. don't intentionally harm others (not here to insult)6. just "I" statements (leaves the space for perspectives other than your own and opportunity for growth)7. understand your facts could be wrong (we put our personal bias on them) 8. make purposeful mistakes (practice is controlled failure - your failure is for your growth)9.end it with an action (we have to do something with this new information -  "You can be part of the answer." he always says).In his book, Kevin refers to himself as a "realistic idealist." I think that's a perfect description of him. I also resonate with that. I just appreciate his desire to always be growing and evolving in his understanding. I also respect how he is proactive in his realistic idealism about unified understanding and action leading to growth.This whole culture vs race thing is a huge revelation to me. I want to just sit and ponder this for a long time. Race is superficial, a surface understanding. Culture requires you to dive in for a deeper understanding that might reference things such as customs, art, or institutions of a certain grouping of people. Understanding culture can get messy, take a long time, and requires lots of self reflection. Focusing on race is the quick and easy way out. I'm so glad Kevin discussed these distinctions and encouraged us to focus more on opening our minds to learning about culture. And remember, it's a process and we won't get good at it overnight and we'll still mess up. But if we are intentional and aware, we'll grow from our mistakes as well. Robert Sapolsky, a professor of neurosurgery at Stanford University says, "An open mind is a prerequisite to an open heart." Kevin takes this to heart the way he lives his life with purpose, helps facilitate diversity growth, and stays open to new experiences and perspectives inspires me to do the same. May we all choose to open the windows of our mind, as Kevin has. Kevin's PodcastKevin's WebsiteKevin's Instagram

I really like how Dr. Meredith spoke to our motives, especially when it comes to being an ally. We must questions ourselves as to why we want to be this….so that we look good, are seen, for our own ego. We can't say we're an ally and only do it when it's convenient. I'm speaking to myself here too. I often feel like giving up, thinking my effort isn't enough. But it's not about me. It's about us and what is best for the common good. If my voice, actions, money, or other contributions help better someone else's life and ease the burden they are carrying even for the smallest bit of time, then it's worth it. Helen Keller is credited with saying, "Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much." I think that is appropo for this cause.We've heard other guests refer to the Ripple effect before. And each time I hear it, it sinks in deeper and deeper. I needed the reminder, yet again, that people's responses have nothing to do with me and say more about them and what they're going through. I can choose to either take things personally or hold space for what people may be struggling with right now. This was a timely and necessary reminder for me this week.Lastly, Dr. Meredith's encouragement about being open to learning really excited me. I've met so many people afraid to question, afraid to go beyond their comfort zones, heck, for years, I was one of those people. Her insight that some people don't want to know because they're afraid of what they'll learn or that listening to another point of view might put a crack in the foundation of what they believe was spot on. What apt advice she gave...use the crack in your foundation to let the light in. Fear keeps us bound up and locked in to only what we know or are familiar with. Learning and expanding our views sets us and those around us free to become the best version of ourselves.Dr. Meredith is offering a discount for her therapy services to anyone who mentions that they heard her on the Gramercy Podcast. Please check out the show notes for more information and a link to her website. Thank you Dr. Meredith for the reminder that we don't have to live attached to fear and the story we tell ourselves. We can choose to grow, unlearn old habits, and heal from within. Thank you also for leading by example with your generous assumptions. May we all learn to be as generous with grace as Meredith has.Quote:Dr. Meredith - "Live a life you love, and love the life you live. Treat people the way you want to be treated."Dr. Meredith's Website

Greg and I start off the conversation with some hot sports opinions! We connected over his love of sports. What a fun conversation this was! This is what an interview looks like when you just follow where the conversation leads. Greg brings a young, important, balanced perspective to our conversation. During his free time, he records and produces his very own podcast called: On The Spot where he discusses all things sports, entertainment and music.I was really surprised and impressed with Greg's view on politics in sports. He completely and reasonably sees both sides. I appreciate and learned from his balanced perspective on this issue. He taught me to be non-dualistic even in this. And he brought that same mentality to his insight on how black and white athletes are stereotyped. I'm so glad he brought that up. I know I have been guilty of thinking one athlete is just naturally talented while thinking another must have to work extra hard. This is an area I need to learn to reframe my thinking because my thinking is wrong, racist, and over-generalized. Thank you, Greg, for bringing this to my attention.Greg really educated me on colorism within the Black community. I've read a little bit about it over the years, but he fleshed it out for me where I could see and feel it's nasty effects through his eyes. I have some article links in the show notes if you're interested in continuing to learn more about the history of colorism in the U.S. Black people are not immune from acting like a racist, hurting others because of their faulty assumptions regarding colorism, or showing descrimination towards others. We are all in the process of learning and growing and we all have the tendency to try to preserve our own self interests over the benefit of others despite our ethnicity, religion, race, socio-economic  standing, or our sexual preferences..Greg mentioned how one of the coaches he admired the most, Coach Thompson from Georgetown, expressed the opinion that black coaches and individuals in the sporting industry are never really given the opportunity to fail. What an impossibly high standard to live up to as a Black athlete or coach.  But as another legendary coach, Louisville's Rick Pitino  recognizes, "Failure is good. It's fertilizer. Everything I've learned about coaching, I've learned from making mistakes." What a sad double standard we've set in sports and life if one group of people are allowed to learn from their mistakes and another are punished, banished, or damned because of them. This is an example of how our systemic racism problem has seeped into every area of society and wraps it's ugly claws around the most basic ideas we hold as "normal." May we all have the wisdom to critique and extol both sides of a perspective and learn from our failures….as Greg has. Greg's quote:If you don't start now, one year from now, you'll regret it. - AnonymousArticles:The Roots of Colorism Why black people discriminate among ourselves: the toxic legacy of colorismSocial Media:Where you can find Greg online

Harold has more than a decade of teaching and counseling experience, enabling him to reach others with truth, transparency, and strength. In addition to over a decade of service to the United States Army, Harold has launched several successful businesses, and now focuses all his humor, experience, and enthusiasm on being of deep service as an Entrepreneur and Creative Director with the goal of inspiring people todevelop lives that display purpose, freedom, and legacy!In today's episode we tackle such topics as the school to prison pipeline, government assistance, systemic poverty, and playing the race card. From being homeless, to living in government projects, to finding himself in college and the military, to ultimately becoming a successful entrepreneur...this is a story you won't soon forget.I have great admiration for Harold's genuineness and teachableness, how he wants to learn from those who've come before him, how to be an agent of change for his own generation. I love and appreciate his activist heart. The idea that activism boils down to being authentic is so true...those are the people who inspire because their passion comes from the depths of who they are, the experiences they've lived, and the empowerment they desire to bestow on the powerless. Harold's insight into his friend's racist comment shows such maturity. He saw the root cause and didn't focus on the offense to himself. He knew racism was taught and that his friend was just repeating what he'd been told his whole life. What a productive way of combating racism - by educating people in the truth, dispelling falsehoods head-on, and having a conversation with the offender. The most encouraging part to me is that an initial negative comment and interaction yielded a lasting friendship because Harold took the time to have a hard conversation with someone different from him. And it ended up changing both lives for the good.How gracious of Harold to be so understanding towards people ignorant of their racist words. Understanding that people are products of their environment helps in our healing process as it did in Harold's case. He chooses to engage in dialogue and to educate so that relationship can prevail. Now the ball is in the offender's court and they get to choose how to respond - transform and learn from their error, or leave in a huff of humiliation and anger due to their pride getting hurt. His response of: "Just let me know that you get it and not only that you get it but you're doing what you can to understand what you don't get." is genius! We can't be afraid of conversation. This is where the work starts! Harold, I get it and thanks to you and so many others who have vulnerably shared their stories, I'm learning.I'm astounded by how deftly Harold is able to articulate the problem of systemic poverty (which is a by-product of systemic racism) from his lived experience. Let's review this again: If the government replaces the father figure in that home, then the government dictates how that home is run because that's typically the father's role. What profound insight! He's lived this, he knows that one of a father's roles is to foster and nurture their children's identity. and to affirm his wife. How incredibly sad when the government becomes the one who gives you your identity, provides you a false sense of self and security, thus, ending up stifling people's mental growth, relational growth, and the community growth. I can see why  Harold was drawn to counseling others and encouraging them to think about the legacy they are leaving.I'm so glad Harold spoke to the oft misunderstood mindset of white people, that one black person is representative of the entire group. We don't have that expectation of white people, nor should we of any grouping of people. He articulated so perfectly how his black experience is different from another black person's experience and we need to be respectful of each individual and their preferences. This is a timeless courtesy that should be extended to all people despite gender, age, sexuality, religion, ethnicity. I appreciate how Harold has taken the  negative expression of "playing the race card" and turned it on its head and is using it as a tool of awareness instead.  He intentionally plays the race card to help make his counterparts more aware of their racial bias.What a beautiful way to describe oneself as a connector and unifier. What a gift to the world Harold is. He delights in educating people, bringing people together, and encouraging others despite where they are. May we all learn to be as accepting, authentic, and as gracious, as Harold has.Harold's Quotes: Frederick Douglass - "It is easier to build strong children than to build broken men."Frederick Douglass - "Some know the value of education by having it. I know the value by not having it."KB - "To me, resistance carries with it a certain posture. The only way to deal with an unfree world is to become so absolutely free that your very existence is an act of rebellion."School to Prison Pipeline ArticleHarold's website: SI Web Solutions - Pinpoint Local 

Janice's accomplishments astound me. She received her undergraduate degree from Johns Hopkins University, her MPH (which stands for Masters of Public Health, I had to look that one up) from the University of Pennsylvania, and her almost M.D from Ohio State University Medical School. She is excited to start her residency this June as a full fledged medical doctor. And, as if that wasn't impressive enough, she is also a 2nd Lieutenant  in the U.S. Air Force (soon to be promoted to Captain in May). I met this intelligent, graceful, articulate woman completely by chance. I found her on Twitter and was blown away by a story she tweeted. So I dm'd her and she graciously agreed to visit with me. Get ready to have your socks blown off.What emotional fortitude Janice has to see that the way this woman in the ER treated her was more a reflection of that woman and the problems she's dealing with in life than it did about her. Although it stung, she refused to be the victim. By sharing that story Janice was able to release the burden of carrying one more insult by herself and let those around her feed her soul with encouragement, validation, and support.Another incredible quote by Janice that I personally think should be made into t-shirts, posters, and heralded from the mountain tops is the idea that, "We're not criticizing you, we're criticizing the situation and the system and you can be an active agent to fixing it." That, my friends, is speaking truth to power. I'm incredibly grateful Janice spelled it out for us, "This is what I want white allies to do: How can I bring this voice or this story to my community in a way that's not threatening. That's how you get the access and make the change that we want." Here's one practical step you can take if you truly want to work toward racial equality.Her insight about when you experience people talking down to  you, microaggressions, or outright blatant racism, it makes you relive everything else you're carrying. That trauma, that wound, never has time to heal because that scar keeps getting cut open again and again. Those of us who don't experience this have no right to say how those who do should deal with it. I'm so thankful that Janice has found a cathartic way to heal, by speaking up and out about how racism is affecting her. The longer we hold on to negative emotions and experiences, the more resentment it builds. But Janice is the opposite of bitter, she exudes peace, forgiveness, and compassion. The idea that we can't change something unless we speak about it is a powerful, healing truth. All I know is that when I grow up, I want to be like Janice. She emanates  love, patience, benefit of the doubt, inclusion, and genuine compassion for others. From her time with Poverty and Inequality Research Lab Janice did the beautifully hard job of listening to story after story of how people were brutalized and betrayed by the police during the Baltimore Riots. She witnessed the broken system in a broken community and it broke her heart, yet also educated her.  And yet, the message that stuck with her after hearing all these sorrowful narratives was: "Just because someone has hurt me, doesn't mean I want to hurt other people." She repeated this idea 3 times during our conversation which tells me this is a lived ideal  she centers her life around. And it was proven true in her response to the vileness shown to her by a patient she was trying to help. May we all remember who we are, just as Janice has.Janice's Quote: "Success is not final and failure is not fatal." - Anonymous (falsely attributed to Winston Churchill, but Quote Investigator could not find a reliable source). Janice can be found on Twitter and Instagram: @JaniceBonsu

Author Rashod's autobiography about his father's imprisonment is eerily similar to one most of us might already be familiar with from Bryan Stevenson's book, "Just Mercy." It's heartbreaking, unfair, and cruel...but imagine being the child who had to live through it. This is Rashod's story...Rashod has such a tender heart for helping people. He also brings a unique perspective….that of an African American police officer. He sees and can speak to  both sides of the equation with knowledge, compassion, and understanding. He is purposeful about building positive relationships with those living in tougher neighborhoods. He seeks out kids that used to be like him as a youth and tries to give them attention, kindness, and wisdom because he knows what they lack and need since he was one of those kids.One thing his mom taught him was to never be a victim of his environment nor to be a victim of who you are. This advice was taken to heart and lived out even though terrible things happened to their family.  I'm in awe of how they stayed focused and continued being the best people they could be in society. All of us need to take Rashod's Mom's wisdom to heart: "Understand the history, but don't use it as a victim card. Be cautious in this society, but don't let that hinder you from being happy."I had quite the "aha moment" when Rashod said, "White people will never understand what it feels like...that trauma is passed down through generations." I desperately want to understand, I want to empathize, I want to show I care….but he's right. I'll never feel it, the best I can do is imagine the pain. Trauma passed down through generations takes time to heal, and if circumstances keep that trauma raw and at the surface, it takes even longer to heal. I think as white people, we would do good to remember this and extend more grace, patience, and mercy since we can't pretend to understand or know the depth of this feeling.Lastly, I want to encourage you to read Rashod's story in his own words from his book, "Fatherless Son." I'm actually going to make it easier for one of you wonderful listeners by giving you a chance to get his book for free. All you need to do is send an email to cori@gramercy.us and tell me your favorite quote from Officer Coleman's episode. I will draw a winner at random on March 28th, 2021 and notify the lucky reader via email. Author Rashod also has a 7 part series on YouTube that describes in detail everything he went through to exonerate his father. I've watched all of them and am impressed with all the time, research, and energy it took to help free his Father from all charges. You can find all of Author Rashod's social media and website links in the show notes.I'd like to end with Officer Coleman's tip for making the world a better place: "Take care of the person next to you." It really is that simple. And he is a shining example of what that looks like. He answers Martin Luther King Jr's question of: "Life's most persistent and urgent question is, 'What are you doing for others?" May we all find the answer to that question for our own lives, just as Rashod has. Rashod's Quotes:From his mom and Maya Angelou: "When people show you who they are, believe them."From his basketball coach friend: "Do right."Road To Exoneration (YouTube) - 7 part series Author Rashod on InstagramAuthor Rashod's WebsiteAuthor Rashod's Email: authorrashod@gmail.com

My guest today has a long list of credits to her name: author, creative, educator,  podcaster (her books and podcast are linked in the show notes), and public speaker just to name a few. Rabhin has taught in the Long Beach, CA Unified School District for over twenty years. She's worked a total of 30 years in education at various levels—K-12, community college and university. She earned her BA in Sociology from Stanford University and J.D. at UCLA School of Law. Oh ya, and she does all that while also walking half marathons multiple times a year. She embodies joy. She's one of those people that after you spend time with her, you just feel better, happier, and more optimistic. From the second we met, we hit it off. I normally sit and visit with each of my guests for a while before we officially start recording for the podcast. I usually never leave those segments in the final, edited version. But today, our conversation right out of the gate was INCREDIBLE. I wanted you guys to have the chance to hear the whole thing and see Rahbin's genuine nature. She starts dropping pearls of wisdom before the show even started. I'm so thankful Rahbin mentioned scarcity vs. abundance. It is true that it is a mindset and what you see is what you look for. As she mentioned, we are both, in our own unique ways, working towards the same end: helping voice the stories of Black people in America. We are competitors - we're co-workers for a larger cause. Our country needs as many of these conversations as we can get.  Rahbin's words on allyship were poignant and hard hitting. Allyship is not enough. Sometimes I think, as white people, we pat ourselves on the back and say, "but I'm on their side. I marched in a rally. I have Black friends. I have a BLM sign in my yard." Great - but what are you doing about it?! I've actually had someone ask me that. My gut reaction was, "probably not enough." But then I responded to him honestly with:  Well, I'm educating myself in Black history from Black authors, I'm listening to lived experiences, I'm learning about systemic racism, and I'm dialoguing with white friends about it all. Do you agree with Rahbin's statement, "We're all entitled to live a life in which we thrive without limitation?" If so, what are you doing about it? This question is challenging because it disrupts our comfort zone. It requires that we take a stand at the expense of friendships, convenience, what others might think of us. It's the equivalent of putting our money where our mouth is.If you would love to hear more stories like those found on Gramercy, check out Rahbin's podcast, 365 Brothers on any podcasting platform.As Rahbin says, you will discover the breadth and depth of Black men in America.  It will expand your world, your heart, and your understanding, as it has mine. I'll close with a quote from Rahbin's dream dinner guest the singer and songwriter, Prince. He's known for saying, "Compassion is an action word with no boundaries." May we all be inspired to try acts of compassion by simply smiling more and saying "hello" to people different from as, just as Rahbin has.Rahbin's Quote:Pearle Bailey - "To talk to someone who does not listen is enough to tense the devil."Rahbin's website: All Things ShyneRabin's Podcast: 365 Brothers

LaQuanta's mom made the hard choice of leaving her home and family in Tulsa to give a better life with more opportunity to her kids by moving to Seattle. She was given the chance to grow up in a beautiful neighborhood with successful professionals as parents and all the privilege that comes with it. I found her admission fascinating that privilege sheltered her exposure to racist actions even though she saw glimpses in how those around her were treated. I can understand how it took her awhile to process these actions as racism since they were not overt in nature.  I appreciate LaQuanta's sage advice that change begins with the younger generation. She's absolutely right. Teaching empathy and compassion at a young age is critical to ending all these great divides we have in our society. To quote Jane Elliott, "Racism is a learned affliction and anything that is learned can be unlearned." I love how LaQuanta is actively teaching her daughter through her actions what kindness, acceptance, and understanding of all people looks like.I'm also glad LaQuanta brought up the George Floyd murder and how it produced trauma for all who saw it. I hadn't thought about it in those terms before. It seems we've all become so desensitized to violence because of the movies we watch or video games we play. But George was a real person. This wasn't staged. It was real blood. Real hate. Real shock. All filmed live and no one had any power to stop it. That's traumatic. How do we as a country heal from that? I think the answer lies in what so many guests have said and LaQuanta echos….kindness. The more seeds of kindness we plant, the more fruit of kindness we grow. It seems to have an exponential growth pattern. But sadly, so does fear and hate. It is a conscious choice. We have to educate ourselves and choose kindness. As R.J. Palacio says in her book, Wonder, "When given the choice between being right or being kind, choose kind. Let's start there. Thank you LaQuanta for reminding us that we never know where people are or what they're going through and how a morsel of kindness can change someone's day or entire life.LaQuanta's Quotes: "Baby, if you're gonna pray, then don't worry." her Grandma  "Never look down on someone unless you're reaching down to lift them up." Anonymous

Today I am so happy to introduce you to my new friend Ralph Monroe III. He is a modern day renaissance man. He is a poet, father, husband, podcaster, graduate student, preacher, audio and video producer, graphic artist, and business owner. But I knew he was my new best friend when I read in his bio that bookstores are like candy stores for him. We are kindred spirits. Unfortunately, you don't have the benefit of seeing him while he is talking. If you did, you would see a man who never stops smiling. His joy of life is contagious. He is a deep thinker with a poetic mind, and a captivating way of expressing his thoughts. Without further adieu, here is Ralph Monroe...The odds Ralph overcame to get where he is and become the person he is today are overwhelming. His path is not a straight one. But it's precisely the path he needed to take in order to grow in the grace, knowledge, and understanding he encapsulates at this time in his life. His life story reminds me of the quote by Alexandre Dumas in his book, The Count of Monte Cristo, "Only a man who has felt ultimate despair is capable of feeling ultimate bliss."I feel I can relate to so much of Ralph's heart...his love of learning, his desire to go deep, how he wants to help affect change for good on a large scale and for the future benefit of his children. I appreciate his balanced approach to life. He holds the tension of systemic racism in the here and now along side his hope for change for future generations. He said it perfectly, "the battle that wages inside of me." His poem, Vexed, captures this tension with poiniency. His hope in a better future does not negate the pain and hardship of the present. But he chooses not to focus on it. He embraces the feelings experienced by living in a society riddled with systemic racism, but he also embraces hope. It doesn't have to be one or the other.  Ralph is the living breathing example of the motto he posts on his website: "The greatest message you will ever speak is given without words; it's how you live your life."I'm so glad he quoted Dr. King on Sincere Ignorance. It is dangerous. Intentional or unintentional, it certainly seems to fuel hate, self-preservation, and racism. I appreciated his practical advice for how to place ourselves in others' shoes...by reading a book or listening to a podcast, or educating ourselves in order to help us foster understanding. I'm thankful for the reminder that understanding does not equate to agreement. It is simply a way of showing respect. May we all remember that only we can control our responses to situations and choose to live with hope and humility...as Ralph has.Ralph's Quote: "Everyday can be beautiful if you make it." - Ralph's GrandfatherVexed   by Ralph Monroe IIIVexed, annoyed, irritated, infuriated.Disturbed, exacerbated, perturbed, frustrated.Heartbroken, anguished, crushed, isolated.Grieving, shattered, downcast, mentally suffering.Oppression, suppression, injustice.Tired of it.But God's suffering, pain, sacrificethink of it.Stay steadfast, unwavering, unchangingIs what God speaks to meHow do I keep loving, interceding, believingIn this society?My faith, conviction, hopeIs in HimGod's grace, His Spirit, His TruthBreak through usLike waters breaking a damGod's justice will roll on throughAnd righteousness will flowLike a stream leading back to You.Yes, I'm vexedBut will remain steadfastAnd be a voice until I breathe my last.Ways to find Ralph online:Ralph's PodcastRalph's InstagramRalph's Personal WebsiteRalph's Business Website

I can't wait to introduce you to my dear friend, Crystal. In this episode, you might feel a bit like a fly on the wall overhearing two friends sitting at the kitchen table just talking about life. Crystal is a Licensed Professional Counselor, Certified School Counselor, and Musician.  She began her professional experiences as a middle school and high school orchestra director. Crystal has 19 years of educational experience and 7 years as a School Counselor. She is also the mom of two incredible highschoolers, Carissa and Rueben and an all around hilarious, good person. When I think of my times with Crystal, I think of laughter and sunshine. That is what she brings to our friendship and I am forever grateful that our paths crossed in this big, beautiful world. She has helped shape my thinking in so many areas. She is a huge encouragement and you always leave feeling better after time spent in her presence. Because we are just two friends talking, I completely forgot to formally welcome her to the show. We just jumped in and started talking. So grab a cup of coffee or tea, pull up a chair, and join us as we discuss what racism looks like from Crystal's perspective.I love Crystal's dartboard analogy! I can apply that to all of my relationships. I know Crystal said she uses humor as a defense mechanism, but I appreciate that she is self-reflective enough to know this about herself. Being able to admit to others that you know how you try to deflect uncomfortable situations shows such a deep knowledge of oneself, and comes from a place of humility, and authenticity. I have learned from watching Crystal's example,  that I too, wish to be able to vulnerably admit my own defenses to others instead of making excuses and justifications for my actions. Crystal's counseling expertise is a definite bonus in being able to help navigate these often muddy waters of racism and relationships for herself, her kids, as well as the high schoolers she serves with on a daily basis. I have deep respect for how she is thankful for all the trials and hardships of her life for she knows she wouldn't be the person she is today without them. You know you've reached the pinnacle of maturity when you can look your past in the face and see how all of it, the good and bad, has worked collectively to create the person you are today. There is an ancient Chinese proverb that says: “The gem cannot be polished without friction, nor man perfected without trials.” May we all see the friction we encounter as just another day of being polished...as Crystal has. Crystal's Quotes: Both from Maya Angelou"When people show you who they are, believe them." "When you know better, you do better."

Precious has a contagious optimism and a gift of expressing herself with eloquence and grace. In today's episode, we discuss what it means to be a strong black woman, what passive aggressive comments look and feel like, as well as what it's like growing up biracial in the United States. I want to give a huge shout out to Precious' parents for raising such a self-aware, well-adjusted, conscientious young lady who knows who she is and where she stands. She tackles tough problems with action, assertiveness, and kindness. Precious takes her impact on the world seriously. She's out there on all these social media platforms not just to hear herself speak, but for the greater good. She knows the impact her words have on others and is purposeful about spreading kindness, awareness, and happiness (and what says happiness better than great cooking tips, recipes, and advice?!). I love how she refers to it as the butterfly effect. If you want to learn more about Precious you can find her podcast titled, "Precious the Foodie'' wherever you listen to podcasts. I also encourage you to check out her website where she has links to fantastic articles, TEDtalks, and podcasts in learning more about anti-racism. Be sure to check the show notes for the links to all of Precious' social media sites. Mother Teresa says, "Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless." I see this lived out in the life of my sweet guest today. May we all be cognizant of the butterfly effect we have on people's lives and choose kindness every chance we get, like Precious has.Precious' Original Quote: "Kindness never goes out of style.The more you put good into the world, it naturally becomes a better place to live, not just for you, but for everyone."Precious Pioneer BlogPrecious Pioneer on InstagramPrecious Pioneer on YouTube

Today I am in conversation with Mr. Bobby Washington. He is a pastor at the multicultural East Denver Church of God. He is also a successful businessman owning and operating two nationwide businesses. Bobby has a Chinese mother and African American father and lived abroad during his childhood. His life experiences give him a unique point of view about racism in the U.S . I was captivated by his story, his gentle manner in conveying the truth, his honest perspective about racism, and the kindness that radiates from him. There were several takeaways from my visit with Bobby. I especially appreciated his insight into the word "we", how it's used for a lot of things, but not in relation to racism. It's like we don't want to own our part in it, look at ourselves, and deal with it.  I love how he said, "Why can't we walk together with that too?" We are willing to carry the honor of our past collective victories as a country, but not our past collective failures or injustices. That's a heavy truth that needs more unpacking and honest reflection.Bobby's bubble analogy made me smile since I recently heard the exact same metaphor from my friend Rama in Season 1. Opening our bubbles, or spheres of influence, to others is another way of encouraging inclusivity. Being more loving has never made anyone feel left out. But putting labels on people gives us many reasons to exclude. Lastly, I was impressed with Bobby's confession about how he carried a chip on his shoulder for years. And really, who could blame him? But he was humble and teachable enough to see that carrying that chip was not moving him forward...only love and forgiveness can do that. May we all carefully reflect on our own lives and be willing to admit the anger, resentment, or hurt we're holding onto so we don't negatively project it onto others, just as Bobby did all those years ago. By letting go of that chip, he wasn't saying that all the injustices he experienced were okay, they were still painfully raw. But he didn't focus on them anymore. He changed his focus and in doing so changed the trajectory of his life to helping others affect positive change in this world. Bobby's life reminds of MLK's quote: "There is some good in the worst of us and some evil in the best of us. When we discover this, we are less prone to hate our enemies." Thank you for choosing to live a life of love when it would be easy to succumb to hate. May we all choose love, as Bobby has.Bobby's Quote: "A gentle word turns away wrath." The Bible, Proverbs 15:1East Denver Church of God

 I first learned of Myriama through a mutual friend who sent me her article, "Seeing Color." . In it, Myriama says, "Now is the right time to educate yourself on the reality of black lives and how you can become an effective advocate for racial justice. You can start by seeing color." She is a thoughtful, kind, expressive young woman and thanks to her incredible parents, she is especially wise beyond her years. I commend her for taking the time to share her heart, fears, and experiences with us. It is a very vulnerable position to be in and I applaud her courage.From my time with Myriama it's evident to me that she lives out her favorite quote. She is such an inspiration to me with her calm, gentle, patient ways. I am in awe of her parents and the love, wisdom, and acceptance of others they modeled to their beautiful daughter as she was growing up. Not that her life was without struggle. I see how those hardships, anxieties, and inequities were used as teachable moments that helped her grow in grace and wisdom. They made her a stronger, better person. But those insensitive remarks, stereotyping, and cruel behaviors still caused great pain. She just chose forgiveness, love, and education as the ways of healing those wounds. I see you Myriama. I see what you're going through and I stand with you. May we all find it within ourselves to be gracious to one another and to live as intentionally as Myriama has.Myriama's Quote: "Darkness cannot drive out darkness, only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate, only love can do that." MLK Jr.Myriama's Newspaper Article: "Seeing Color"Myriama's Roster Page at Saint Louis UniversityAtlantic 10 Conference's women's basketball Player of the Week

Saja Butler is first and foremost a musician. Music can't help but flow out of her. She owns her own company called Urban Monk Studio where she has taught and continues to teach thousands of music lovers how to sing and play a variety of instruments. She is passionate about the power of music in life. Saja sees music as a bridge that joins people together. It is with that same contagious joy and passion that she welcomes and loves everyone in her life. I met Saja at her home in Old Town Fort Collins, Colorado. Being that we are in the time of covid, we sat out back on her patio with the appropriate level of social distance between us. But the unintended, beautiful consequence of this time outside was the delightful sounds of nature and the neighborhood that enveloped our conversation. You'll hear birdsong, rustling wind, airplanes, a nail gun, loud mufflers, and the occasional dog bark. And it truly was a conversation. I was lost in her story, magnetic personality, and cadence of her voice. I felt like I was sitting in the backyard of a friend I'd known all my life and we were just passing the heavenly fall afternoon sharing stories.  What I appreciate most is Saja's willingness to be real about all the facets in her life. She is one of the most genuine people I have met. She's honest about her struggles as a small business owner, how she feels blue some days and needs to talk it out with friends, and about the trauma of her parents' divorce but also the healing that came out of it years later. These aren't "black only problems." This is the human condition. We are all more the same than we are different. We can all relate to these struggles. The color of our skin does not change that. Saja is not more or less successful in this life because of her skin color. This just happened to be the beautiful pigment she was born with. True, her struggles can be compounded because others look at the melanin of her skin and attribute false stereotypes to it just as some could look at my skin color and assume generalizations about me that may or may not be true. This is why we need to surround ourselves with people different from us...to learn how they cope, what they struggle with, what their fears are, what brings them deep joy...and then maybe we'll find our commonality. And in that commonality we'll find compassion, relatability, and hopefully, a friend. The beauty of this is that we already know how to do this. We do this with people who share our same religion, or nationality, or favorite football team. We're not all automatically friends because of this commonality, it's a choice we make. All we have to do now is be more intentional about meeting others outside of our bubbles and make an effort to find common ground. Slowly, relationships will build and as Saja points out, it's the intimacy of a relationship that will fight racism. I had several "aha" moments with Saja when I felt like she was speaking right to my heart. The first was when she said, "Music is literally about the present moment. It is a gift." I have experienced what she was speaking of but was never able to phrase it in the way Saja did. It brought me such joy to hear her express this in the way she did. I was left speechless when Saja was nonchalantly describing the Saturday klan rallies in the southern town of her youth. I was impressed with the insight she draws about how the south is healing faster because of that overt racism than other places where racism is more covert. It really does go back to what James Baldwin said, "Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced.”The light bulb went off in my head again when Saja mentioned people reacting instead of responding. How many times have I been guilty of this very thing. Reacting is a knee jerk behavior triggered out of our own pain or fear. But taking time to respond requires fore-thought that eventually influences the conversation in a genuine manner.I left my time with Saja feeling  hope for the future, a light heart, and joy deep inside - all that after an hour long visit talking about racism. Some people are just like that, they leave a trail of joy behind them everywhere they go. May we all give our genuine selves to another, be present with them, and leave them with the knowledge that they  are loved, listened to, and accepted, as Saja does.Saja's Quote: Howard Berger: "Truth is a social construct merely relative to one's nature."Saja's Website: Urban Monk Studios

In this season we learn how to be an ally to our Black co-workers, neighbors, and friends. We learn how to ask relevant questions. We learn how to listen. We learn how to say, "I see you. I hear you. I am with you." Articles on Racism:What is systemic racism?Becoming comfortable with the uncomfortable topic of race.Anti-racism: A practice in being uncomfortable.The Myth of a Post Racial AmericaPost Racial SocietyACLU videos:Los Angeles, 1992 - 100 Years of Racism in PolicingDetroit, 1967 - 100 Years of Racism in PolicingHarlem, 1935 - 100 Years of Racism in PolicingChicago, 1919 - 100 Years of Racism in Policing

The top 7 reasons for displacement: 1) Persecution, be it racial, religious, political, or social.  2) War, as we've witnessed in the news from places like Syria, Somalia, Afghanistan, and Iraq   3) Climate Change - the UNHCR estimates that in 2018, 16.1 million people were displaced by weather related disasters and hazards precipitated by climate change.4) Violation of Human Rights - this most often occurs when the wealthy and powerful elite become corrupt government agents who then stop supporting the social structures that provide for the poor. 5) Poverty - this is also tied to governmental inadequacy, ineptitude, and greed. 6) Hunger - most often due to drought, corruption and political instability and lastly,7) gender and sexual orientation - 77 countries impose a death sentence on people solely for their sexual orientation.If you are interested in going deeper and continuing your learning journey, there are a plethora of books to turn to. A few I have read and recommend are:American Dirt by Jeanine CumminsThe Ungrateful Refugee by Nina NayeriThe Devil's Highway by Luis Alberto UrreraThe Translator by Daoud HariThe Line Becomes a River by Francisco CantuOf Beetles and Angels by Mawi AsgedomThe Distance Between Us by Reyna Grande (children)Where the Wind Leads by Vinh ChungWould you like to learn what Season 2 will be about and when it will be released? Then become a subscriber. You can subscribe by visiting Gramercy.us, scroll to the bottom of the page, and click the yellow subscribe button and fill in the form. If you have questions or comments for me or know of someone who would like to share their story I would love to hear from you. Feel free to reach out via my email address at: cori@gramercy.us.  You can also find all of the books, instructions for subscription, and my email address in the show notes.Resources: Climate Refugees: https://www.unhcr.org/news/briefing/2019/6/5cf61d304/unhcr-warns-growing-climate-related-displacement-somalia.htmlRefugee Statistics: https://www.unhcr.org/en-us/figures-at-a-glance.htmlUNCHR Global Trends: https://www.unhcr.org/globaltrends2019/Email Me:cori@gramercy.us

Frank is just a regular guy with an admittedly not-so-perfect track record, who found where he belonged. It just so happened that where he belonged was with immigrants and refugees. It was as much of a surprise to him as anybody. His love for "the other" drove him and his wife Carolyn to create a beautiful community in Denver called Project Worthmore. Even after 10 years of creating positive change in the community, it just keeps growing and including more and more people. Project Worthmore truly does reinforce the worth and value of each immigrant and refugee as they learn to navigate their way in a new country. They do this not only through offering English classes onsite but a dental clinic as well. They also partner with Denver Urban Gardens by maintaining DeLaney Community Farm which supports refugees through sustainable agriculture and community building. This farm and it's sister food share program not only provide jobs for refugees and immigrants, but also food for the entire community. The thing that I love so much about doing this podcast is meeting all the beautifully unique people there are in this world. Every story truly does matter. By listening, I'm learning. By listening, I'm telling people that they matter. By listening, I'm breaking down the barriers we all set up around us to keep us safe from vulnerability. I'm in effect saying, your story is safe with me, I will respect it and you because there is no them, just us. So sit back and relax as Frank shares his story which also turns out to be the story of Project Worthmore.The quote that kept running through my mind while Frank was telling me all the ways that Project Worthmore works at building up the refugee community and all the people they serve was from the book, "The Help" by Kathryn Stockett. The character, Aibileen tells a young Mae Mobley who never hears such encouraging, beautiful words that "You is kind, you is smart, you is important." Reinforcing these ideas in people who have lost so much in their lives and come here feeling so worthless is of paramount importance. I'm so thankful to Frank for his vision of creating a space and a community that does just that. Frank actively works to give refugees the best opportunity in life they can possibly have. He realizes being forced to flee their country of origin does not make them less of a person. The circumstances they face in life grew compassion in his heart and birthed an organization with a vision to empower as many refugees and immigrants as possible. He purposefully finds ways to help refugees use the skills they already possess to help contribute to the community which is all any of us hope to do. Frank's Quote: Why cross the ocean when you can cross the street.Project Worthmore Emily Griffith Technical CollegeDenver Urban Gardens

Colorado Immigrant Rights Coalition is a statewide, membership-based coalition founded in 2002. It encompasses all types of organizations from immigrant to business and faith to labor, basically any organization that wants to ally itself with their mission. Their goal is to improve the lives of immigrants and refugees by making Colorado a more welcoming, immigrant-friendly state. Thank you CIRC! They actively achieve this mission through non-partisan civic engagement, public education, as well as working as advocates for fair and humane immigration policies. Josh is  personally engaged in ending ICE notifications,  informing immigrants of their rights, increasing access to legal and community resources, and empowering movement leaders. He is a gentle, wise, old soul, in the body of a young man. But don't let that fool you...his passion for his job and for helping the immigrant community is non-stop as you are about to learn during our conversation.I'm always intrigued how people come to do the work they end up devoting their lives to. Josh's story is so compelling. I love how random, chance relationships and encounters in his young adult life gradually built his understanding and awareness of immigration and the hardships it entails. I appreciate how he chose to channel that newfound awareness into dedicating his life to the cause of empowering and advocating for immigrants. If you would like to take a deeper dive into learning more about some of the CO state laws that CIRC has helped pass and repeal, please check out their website at ColoradoImmigrant.org. I love it when people come together to help each other. CIRC is a beautiful example of what can happen when people of like minds join together to promote the dignity of all human beings. That of course reminds me of something Nelson Mandela once said, "Our human compassion binds us the one to the other - not in pity or patronizingly, but as human beings who have learnt how to turn our common suffering into hope for the future." When we work towards a common cause, we help ease one another's burdens, show love across the divide, and accomplish more than we can alone. Thank you CIRC, may you have many more years and many more hands helping you achieve your beautiful visionJosh's quote: To him who is given much, much is required - Luke 12:48Colorado Immigrant Rights CoalitionCIRC's VisionCIRC believes in the inherent dignity and human rights of every person, regardless of immigration status. CIRC envisions a society in which all people are treated with dignity and respect and have equal access to fair and just work, housing, health care, and education and the opportunity to live united with family members.CIRC's GoalsAdvocate for the rights of all immigrants and refugees and their families.Empower the immigrant community by supporting the formation of grassroots organizations.Promote leadership development within all immigrant communities.Increase public awareness about the social/economic contributions of immigrants.Educate the general community on the issues and realities of immigration.Strengthen collaboration among the diverse immigrant organizations and with groups that are discriminated against and marginalized in the broader community.Expand collaboration and coordination among immigrant organizations and allies.

Christian Karen are a persecuted minority and driven from their homeland.. Many of the ethnic cultures from Myanmar refer to their country as Burma. The US Dept of State uses Myanmar and Burma interchangeably.Htee's story is tragic and beautiful all at the same time. During our conversation, I took a cautious path asking Htee about her experiences in the camp. You have to be sensitive to tread lightly and follow the interviewee's lead. Most camp residents have experienced horrors too heavy to bear, let alone voice. Trauma is a given. Yet Htee graciously pulled back the curtain and allowed us an inside peek into the realities of living in a refugee camp.I was curious to learn more about the Karen ethnic group from Burma. I found a fantastic website from the Karen Organization of Minnesota. I'd like to read you a little of their history that will serve you well as you listen to Htee's story. "The Karen people began to inhabit what eventually became Burma about two thousand years ago. They traveled from Tibet and China and settled largely in the hills bordering the eastern mountainous region of Burma. In the 8th and 9th centuries, the Burmese also began migrating to the area north of what is now the Karen state. Ethnic groups around this region included the Mon, Shan, Thai, Burmese and Karen. When the British colonized Burma in 1886, these groups all became part of Burma.With the arrival of the British colonists to Burma, the Karen people hoped to escape oppressive rule under the Burmese. Tensions between the two groups reached a high point during World War II when the Karen sided with the British allies and the Burmese fought with the Japanese. Burma achieved independence from the British in 1948, but the Karen people were not granted rights to their own land, and the Burmese once again became the dominant ethnic groupThe military regime established in 1962 continues to oppress the Karen and other ethnic groups in Burma today. Burmese soldiers terrorize Karen villages every dry season by burning their villages, killing or torturing civilians, and raping women and girls.many Karen must flee across the border to refugee camps in neighboring Thailand. Life in the refugee camps is difficult and uncertain. The Thai government can reduce funding for or simply shut down refugee camps at its will, leaving the refugees with very few options. Refugees are not allowed to venture outside the crowded camps, and can be arrested by Thai police if caught. They must instead try to work and support themselves inside the camps while applying for resettlement to another country, which can take many years." 70% of Karen are Buddhist, Buddhist-animist, or animist. About 20% to 30% are Christian. In Htee's case, her parents converted to Christianity which forced them to flee over the border for their lives. Meeting Htee left a profound impact on me. The thing that has stayed with me since this interview was her lack of self pity for the circumstances in her life. She accepts what is, makes the most of, chooses to stay strong, and moves forward. Not only Htee, but her whole Karen community has also chosen this path and to encourage one another in it. It's as if she speaks for the group when she speaks for herself. She's living proof that everything can go wrong for you in life, yet you can still choose joy every day, you can still choose to get up and do your best even when you have to work twice as hard for your basic needs, you can still fight cancer even though it's not fair because you only just got a fair chance at life outside a refugee camp. That is a type of character I don't have, yet yearn for. That is a strength from deep inside that comes from having overcome obstacle after obstacle in life and lived to tell about it. That type of will power comes from knowing you're not alone, that your community and family stand with you and that there's strength surrounding you at all times. The Dalai Lama says, "It is worth remembering that the time of greatest gain in terms of wisdom and inner strength is often that of greatest difficulty." This is the secret to Htee's success. May we all choose to look for wisdom in the midst of our difficult moments in life, as Htee has.Htee's Quote: Treat everybody the way that you treat yourself.Karen History: https://www.mnkaren.org/history-culture/karen-history/Karen in Burma/Myanmar: https://worldrelieffortworth.org/burma-myanmar-karen-cultural-profileU.S. State Department on Burma/Myanmar: https://www.state.gov/statement-on-burma-myanmar/African Community Center: https://www.acc-den.org/

Not only has Karin taught English as a Second Language in elementary, middle and high school, as well as university settings, she has also taught and lived in several countries throughout the world. I am thankful I got to know Karin during the last 3 years while teaching at The Immigrant and Refugee Center of Northern Colorado. Obviously, Karin has a huge, tender heart towards the people to whom she devotes her life. She is constantly wanting to adapt and adjust her lessons to the needs of her current students. She stays abreast of on-going social and political climates in order to stay sensitive to what may be happening in her students' native countries as well as how the laws of our country affect them. As you just heard, teaching is more than just grammar...it is about embracing and empowering the whole person. When a student feels valued, heard, and respected, the learning flows naturally. Karin actively works at enabling these deeper connections with  her students. The word that comes to mind when I think of Karin is the word: awareness. Ekhart Tolle, a teacher of awareness, has the most simple yet relevant quote that strikes me as the way Karin lives her life: "Awareness is the greatest agent for change."Karin's Quote: "No matter where you go, there you are." Buckaroo BonzaiAll about the TESOL certification process: https://www.tesol.org/

What a powerful story of tenacity, courage, and love. Her father took incredible risks because of love - what father wouldn't? Laura overcame great odds as a person without status to achieve her dream of higher education. But most importantly, she learned perseverance through her struggles and came out stronger because of them. Of course she gives back to her community in such palpable ways. Of course she seeks to help others, it's who her father encouraged her to be through his own life example. Thank you for reminding me of the beauty that comes when we persevere through the hard times.I believe Maya Angelo captures the essence of who Laura is best when she says, “You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated. In fact, it may be necessary to encounter the defeats, so you can know who you are, what you can rise from, how you can still come out of it.” May we all encounter defeats and choose to rise from them as Laura has.Laura's Quote: "Love one another." John 13:34Colorado Rapid Response Network Hotline: 1-844-864-8341Laura's Documentary - "No One Shall Be Called Illegal" (https://vimeo.com/261595404)What is DACA? https://www.fwd.us/daca-101/DACA video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mqzBfZ7oSZAThe Gaurdian Article about DACA: https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2020/jun/18/daca-dreamers-us-immigration-explainer

I honestly had no idea that immigrants paid taxes, in fact, I never really thought about it.. It was also news to me how much revenue those taxes generate. Equally surprising is the relatively small amount of social welfare consumed by immigrants. It is incredible the amount of power the media has to negatively or positively affect our opinion of an issue based on how they spin it. It's on us to research and find out if what we hear is true or not, especially in today's society of "alternative facts," conspiracy theories, and outright lies being substituted as news. Those who hold the power want to create fear in us about the issues we don't fully understand. But Fear divides. If we're afraid, we should lean in, learn more, ask questions, seek answers outside of our own echo chambers, educate ourselves, and make an effort to meet the people we've been told to fear. Only after doing the hard work for ourselves can we form our opinions from our experiences and our research. In effect, this is what this podcast is about, trying to learn more, seek answers, and ask people to teach me. Thank you for listening and joining me in this journey. You might be farther along than I am - thank you for your patience. Or you may be on the part of the path where you're still suspicious of what you hear and listen with critical ears. That's good too - thank you for giving this podcast a chance to help you reconsider certain issues.  Critical thinking about issues is imperative to good dialogue. As Paulo Freire says in Pedagogy of the Oppressed, "At the point of encounter there are neither ignoramuses or sages, there are only people who are attempting, together, to learn more than they now know." Rocio's Quote: "Small acts, when multiplied by millions of people, can transform the world." Howard ZinnAutumn's Quote: "When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news my mother would say to me, "Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping." Fred RogersCarla's Quote:  by Emily DickinsonIf I can stop one heart from breaking,I shall not live in vain;If I can ease one life the aching,Or cool one pain,Or help one fainting robinUnto his nest again,I shall not live in vain.References:How many people receive asylum: https://www.dhs.gov/sites/default/files/publications/Refugees_Asylees_2017.pdf and https://trac.syr.edu/immigration/reports/588/Fewer asylum applications being granted under Trump: https://trac.syr.edu/immigration/reports/588/70 million people were displaced in 2019: https://www.unhcr.org/en-us/news/press/2019/6/5d03b22b4/worldwide-displacement-tops-70-million-un-refugee-chief-urges-greater-solidarity.html#:~:text=The%20number%20of%20people%20fleeing,people%20are%20now%20forcibly%20displaced.How many refugees the US lets in in each year: https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2019/10/07/key-facts-about-refugees-to-the-u-s/According to the U.S. Labor Department, in 2018, immigrants accounted for roughly 40 percent of the 2.4 million jobs that were added to the economy: https://www.pbs.org/newshour/politics/ap-fact-check-trump-plays-on-immigration-myths#:~:text=Nearly%2064%20percent%20of%20immigrants,the%202.4%20million%20jobs%20added.Immigrant-owned businesses with employees have an average of 11 employees: https://www.unidosus.org/issues/immigration/resources/facts#:~:text=Fact%3A%20Immigrants%20contribute%20to%20job%20creation.&text=Given%20that%20the%20average%20immigrant,jobs%20in%20the%20formal%20economy.Statistics re: falling US birth rates: https://www.macrotrends.net/countries/USA/united-states/birth-rateThe ACLU has reported that immigrants pay about $90 billion in taxes every year. And they take about $5 billion in some form of welfare or social services. https://www.aclu.org/other/immigrants-and-economyOne study found that social security receives about $9 billion per year, just from undocumented workers. https://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2016/09/undocumented-immigrants-and-taxes/499604/Number of Fortune 500 companies started by immigrants or their children: https://www.newsweek.com/immigrant-founded-fortune-500-companies-us-gdp-1450498Statistics regarding effect of immigrants on Colorado's economy: https://www.americanimmigrationcouncil.org/research/immigrants-coloradoCrime and incarceration rates for immigrant populations: https://www.policefoundation.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/Appendix-D_0.pdf Undocumented immigrants and rates of crime: https://www.themarshallproject.org/2019/05/13/is-there-a-connection-between-undocumented-immigrants-and-crime Immigrant statistics:https://www.americanimmigrationcouncil.org/research/immigrants-in-the-united-states#:~:text=10.7%20million%20undocumented%20immigrants%20comprised,member%20between%202010%20and%202014.

Today's episode is the first in a two part series on immigration law. I had the pleasure of interviewing Autumn Nelson, Rocio Rivera and Carla Crapster - the incredible trio from the law firm: The Lawyer Lady in Longmont, CO . They were so gracious to sit down with me and explain in very practical terms what the general public needs to know when it comes to better understanding immigration in the United States. This interview is full of incredibly useful information that can help us respond to the top three prevalent myths of immigration. This conversation might change what you think you already know about immigration. Speaking of knowing, I just read a quote this past week from the historian Daniel Boorstin who said, "The greatest enemy of knowledge is not ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge." Who better to gain accurate knowledge from than from experts in their field.These amazing women have incredible stories of their own to share. Their personal histories are just as inspiring as the work they do. What you do so often stems from who you are. These ladies are full of compassion, curiosity, drive, empathy, and knowledge. This well of character that springs forth from each of them is apparent in the intensity of work they provide for each client, the amount of devotion and effort they exert, as well as the reservoir of compassion they bestow on all who have the pleasure of meeting and working with them. In Part One I'll introduce you to my guests and we'll learn what prompted each of them to devote their careers to immigration law. Then we'll  tackle the first first myth which is: "There is a "right" way to immigrate to the United States." Join me as we take the plunge and increase our understanding of immigration law. 

Although Idriss is from Kenya, his roots are Somali. Through the course of research for this episode, I learned that Somali people occupy all of Somalia, Somaliland, the northern part of Djibouti, north-western Kenya, and the Ogaden region of Ethiopia. Somalis practice Islam which has been an integral part of society for 14 centuries. It is a major influence in their daily lives as you will hear from Idriss' story.I love how I never know where my conversations will go with each of my guests. Although I have questions prepared ahead of time, I love staying open to the flow of conversation that happens organically. That was definitely the case during my time with Idriss. In today's episode, Idriss explains in detail the religious education children in his community received. He speaks with such appreciation and adoration of this training that I gained a new admiration for something I previously knew nothing about. We also tackle the importance of education and being kind to strangers. I love seeing the world through Idriss' eyes.We could have talked for hours. Actually, we did, but we only recorded a small sample of our time together. It was such a delight to get to know this wise young man and to listen to his perspectives on everything from politics to soccer and slavery to MLK jr.  My most valuable lesson came when Idriss said he was most thankful for his mother. I was stunned, it was not the answer I was expecting. It was apparent that the absence of his mother in his life from the age of 8 onward left a gaping void. Yet the paradox is that it also enabled the family to have greater upward mobility. I can't imagine how that sacrifice felt for his mother. Yet, Iat that tender age, Idriss already had eyes to see that out of something bad, something good can arise. He chose thankfulness for his mother's immense sacrifice. He didn't blame her because he knew it was for the greater good. He is passionate, teachable, wise, and eager to help and learn. It became apparent to me early on that Idriss truly lives as Rumi, the 13th century theologian declares so poetically, "Live life as if everything is rigged in your favor." From his contagious smile, out-going personality, alacrity to help where needed, ability to express himself and be a voice for the voiceless, and his immense gratitude for life, I am a better person for having met Idriss and learned from how he lives his life. May we all choose to live as though life was rigged in our favor.Idriss' quote:  Patience is more bitter than absinthe oil, but when it pays it is sweeter than honey.Idriss' Published Article: https://www.greeleytribune.com/2019/08/13/idriss-siyat-we-have-a-white-supremacy-gun-problem/Article featuring Idriss: https://www.greeleytribune.com/2020/07/11/immigrant-and-refugee-center-and-high-plains-library-district-recognized-for-work-during-pandemic/Article featuring Idriss: https://www.greeleytribune.com/2020/03/16/census-participation-vital-for-immigrant-refugee-communities/Somali People: https://theculturetrip.com/africa/articles/an-introduction-to-the-somali-people/Somaliahttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Islam_in_Somalia and Islam: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Islam_in_Somalia

 Our boys became best friends in elementary school  ushering in lasting family bonds. Since those early years, my family has moved to two different states. Yet our friendship remains strong. Our boys have celebrated high school graduations with each other. Our families have vacationed together. I think you get the picture. This is my friend. I value this gift in my life. I have learned so much from Rama and his wife. And I'm thrilled he's here with us today to share his story.Before we begin, I'd like to dispel a myth about immigrants. When the word immigrant comes to mind, do you think of an impoverished, down-on-their luck foreigner, from a lower, socioeconomic class than yourself? Most people do. The ones that immediately pop into our minds are the ones most often fleeing for their lives from oppression, abject poverty, or extreme violence. I admit that I used to think that way before I met people who dispelled this myth. Immigrants to our country come from all socioeconomic backgrounds. Many come here on a work visa and love it so much they apply to be a permanent resident. Others come as international students who end up applying for work visas after graduating from a U.S. university and make a successful life for themselves here. According to a migrationpolicy.org article, "Indian immigrants have much higher educational attainment compared to the foreign- and U.S.-born populations. In 2015, 77 percent of Indian adults had a bachelor's degree or higher, compared to just 29 percent of all immigrants and 31 percent of native-born adults. Notably, among college-educated Indian immigrants, more than half had an advanced degree."  Did you know that "2.4 million Indian immigrants reside in the United States as of 2015. This makes the foreign born from India the second-largest immigrant group after Mexicans, accounting for almost 6 percent of the 43.3 million foreign-born population."So why am I talking with Rama? Admittedly, he doesn't feel marginalized and this is a podcast about those living on the margins of society. But if you consider the margins to include minority populations, he would fit that category. To be honest, I never considered him marginalized. I only ever thought of him as a friend. I had to ask him if he ever experienced discrimination. His answer might surprise you, it did me. Rama's perspective reminds us that not everyone is affected by discrimination the same. It's important to remember and respect that each person experiences discrimination differently. I really appreciate how Rama chooses to give people the benefit of the doubt when a comment or gesture thrown at him could be taken as offensive. He chooses not to take it that way and offers kindness and understanding in return. I wish for that strength of love for my fellow human. But he also recognizes discrimination as legitimate and serious when the comment, offense, or action happens repeatedly. I  was so convicted about our call to greater self-reflection - that is always a good thing.I  also really like his reference to how we tend to live in our own bubbles unless we seek each other out and ask about their opinions and experiences. I love his call for us to break open our bubbles and learn to integrate and appreciate each other.My conversation with Rama reminded me of something Eckhart Tolle says, "Non-reaction is not a weakness but a strength. Another word for it is forgiveness. To forgive is to overlook or look through. You look through the ego to the sanity that is in every human being as his/her essence." I see this strength in Rama.  May we all find opportunities to show this kind of forgiveness in our lives.Rama's Quotes:1. "In is the only way out." -Sadhguru2. "Begin with the end in mind." - Franklin CoveyIndian Immigrants in the U.S: https://www.migrationpolicy.org/article/indian-immigrants-united-statesKey Findings About U.S Immigrants: https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2019/06/17/key-findings-about-u-s-immigrants/U.S Work Visas and Requirements: https://www.thebalancecareers.com/types-of-us-work-visas-and-requirements-2064322

Change-making looks different for every person. It takes the work of an entire community to welcome our refugee friends; from the people donating furniture and setting up apartments to those who meet them at the airport and those walk alongside the refugees helping them adapt to their new environment during those crucial first few months. Alex, and all those working at Lutheran Family Services Rocky Mountains, remind us that the refugees they serve are people who just want a fresh start in life. They want the chance to watch their children grow up in safety. They desire to work and provide for their families. They have dreams and goals just as we do. However, we haven't been forced to flee for our lives as they have. I'm so thankful LFSRM exists to give these refugees a welcoming smile, cultural guidance, and a safe home to start their lives over in. Alex's quote:    "The plain fact is that the planet does not need more successful people, but it does desperately need more peacemakers, healers, restorers, storytellers and lovers of every kind." by David W. OrReferences:LFSRM - https://www.lfsrm.org/programs-and-services/refugees/greeleyfort-morgan/LIRS - https://www.lirs.org/UNHCR Figures at a glance - https://www.unhcr.org/figures-at-a-glance.htmlWorld Refugee Day - https://www.un.org/en/observances/refugee-dayVetting Process - https://www.rescue.org/article/how-us-refugee-vetting-and-resettlement-process-really-worksThe nine volags are:1. Church World Service (CWS) (religious)2. Episcopal Migration Ministries (EMM) (religious)3. Ethiopian Community Development Council (ECDC)4. Hebrew Immigrant Aid Society (HIAS) (religious)5. International Rescue Committee (IRC)6. Lutheran Immigration and Refugee Services (LIRS) (religious)7. U.S. Committee for Refugees and Immigrants (USCRI)8. United States Conference of Catholic Bishops (USCCB) (religious)9. World Relief Corporation (WR) (religious)