Podcasts about Sexless marriage

I got an email from a guy that perfectly captures a pattern I see over and over again.An anxious man.An avoidant wife.Years of emotional distance.One final attempt to “do the healthy thing” and open up…And then everything collapses.I break down:Why vulnerability isn't the problem — but timing and containment matterHow passivity slowly kills attraction in long-term relationshipsThe anxious/avoidant dynamic so many men get trapped inWhy some divorces turn cold, transactional, and threatening overnightWhat men should focus on after the marriage ends instead of chasing closureIf you're in a dead bedroom, walking on eggshells, or afraid to say the wrong thing in your own marriage, this video will probably feel uncomfortably familiar.I also talk about how men rebuild after this kind of emotional and financial hit, drawing from my book REBUILD – The Complete Guide to Starting Over as a Man, and why having other men around you — like inside the Help For Men Brotherhood — matters more than most guys want to admit.You're not broken.You're not alone.But passivity has a cost — and eventually, it comes due.

*Disclaimer* This episode contains adult content and is not recommended for young listeners.   284. DON'T MISS THIS! Controversial Sex Questions, Answered with Dr. Juli Slattery   1 Samuel 24:19b NIV “May the Lord reward you well for the way you treated me today.”   *Transcription Below*   Bio: Instagram Facebook Authentic Intimacy Website Java with Juli Podcast   Thank you to Our Sponsor: Leman Property Management Company   Questions and Topics We Cover: As Christ followers, should we use a friend's preferred names and pronouns? If one part of Scripture talks about turning the other cheek, is that the same as saying God expects you to stay in an abusive marriage? Is it reasonable to assume that once they have a smartphone, 100% of kids will be exposed to pornography?   Previous Episodes on Sexual Intimacy on The Savvy Sauce, Including Past Episodes with Dr. Juli Slattery: Fostering a Fun, Healthy Sex Life with your Spouse with Dr. Jennifer Konzen  Ways to Deepen Your Intimacy in Marriage with Dr. Douglas Rosenau  Ten Common Questions About Sex, Shared Through a Biblical Worldview with Dr. Michael Sytsma Hope For Treating Pelvic Pain with Tracey LeGrand Treatment for Sexual Issues with Certified Sex Therapist, Emma Schmidt Talking With Your Kids About Sex with Brian and Alison Sutter Natural Aphrodisiacs with Christian Certified Sex Therapist, Dr. Douglas Rosenau Healthy Sexuality, Emotional Intelligence, and Parenting Children with Autism with Counselor, Lauren Dack Pain and Joy in Sexual Intimacy with Psychologist and Certified Sex Therapist, Dr. Jessica McCleese Identifying and Fighting Human Trafficking with Dr. Jeff Waibel Bridging the Gap Between Military and Civilian Families with Licensed Professional Counselor, Cuthor, Podcaster, and 2015 Military Spouse of the Year, Corie Weathers Enjoying a God-Honoring, Healthy Sex Life with Your Spouse with Certified Sex Therapist and Ordained Minister, Dr. Michael Sytsma Enjoying Parenting and Managing Conversations About Sex with Certified Sex Therapist and Author, Dr. Jennifer Konzen Conflict Resolution, Infidelity, and Infertility with Licensed Psychologist and Certified Sex Therapist, Dr. Jessica McCleese Hormones and Body Image with Certified Sex Therapist, Vickie George Passion Pursuit with Dr. Juli Slattery Female Orgasm with Sue Goldstein Erectile Dysfunction, Premature Ejaculation, and Treatments Available with Dr. Irwin Goldstein Turn Ons, Turn Offs, and Savoring Sex in Marriage with Dr. Jennifer Konzen Desire Discrepancy in Marriage with Dr. Michael Sytsma Answering Listener's Questions About Sex with Kelli Willard Anatomy of an Affair with Dave Carder Supernatural Restoration Story with Bob and Audrey Meisner Healthy Minds, Marriages, and Sex Lives with Drs. Scott and Melissa Symington Female Pornography Addiction and Meaningful Recovery with Crystal Renaud Day Building Lasting Relationships with Clarence and Brenda Shuler Healthy Ways for Females to Increase Sexual Enjoyment with Tracey LeGrand Pornography Healing for Spouses with Geremy Keeton Sexual Sin Recovery for You and Your Spouse (Part Two) Personal Development and Sexual Wholeness with Dr. Sibylle Georgianna  Our Brain's Role in Sexual Intimacy with Angie Landry Discovering God's Design for Romance with Sharon Jaynes Sex in Marriage and Its Positive Effects with Francie Winslow, Part 1 Science and Art of Sexual Intimacy in Marriage, Part 2 Making Love in Marriage with Debra Fileta Mutually Pleasing Sex in Marriage with Gary Thomas Sex Series: God's Design and Warnings for Sex: An Interview with Mike Novotny Sex Series: Enhancing Female Pleasure and Enjoyment of Sex: An Interview with Dr. Jennifer Degler Sex Series Orgasmic Potential, Pleasure, and Friendship: An Interview with Bonny Burns  Sex Series: Sex Series: Healthy Self, Healthy Sex: An Interview with Gaye Christmus Sex Series: Higher Sexual Desire Wife: An Interview with J Parker Sex Series: Six Pillars of Intimacy with Tony and Alisa DiLorenzo 215 Enriching Women's Sexual Function, Part One with Dr. Kris Christiansen 216 Enriching Women's Sexual Function, Part Two with Dr. Kris Christiansen 217 Tween/Teen Females: How to Navigate Changes during Puberty with Dr. Jennifer Degler 218 Secrets of Sex and Marriage: Interview with Dr. Michael Sytsma 222 Pornography: Protecting Children and Personal Healing, Victory, and Recovery in Christ with Sam Black Special Patreon Release: Holy Sex: An Interview with Dr. Juli Slattery Special Patreon Release: His Desires and Her Desires in the Bedroom with Dr. Jennifer Konzen 224 Surprising Discoveries of Sex in Marriage: An Interview with Shaunti Feldhahn 252 Maximizing Sexual Connections as Newlyweds to Long Term Marriages and Recovering from a Sexless Marriage with Dr. Cliff & Joyce Penner 260 Sex After Cancer with Dr. Kris Christiansen 277 Breaking Through Addiction in Marriage with Matthew and Joanna Raabsmith   Connect with The Savvy Sauce on Facebook or Instagram or Our Website   Gospel Scripture: (all NIV) Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”   Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”   Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.”    Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.”    Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”    Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.”    John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”   Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”    Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”   Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”   Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God's possession- to the praise of his glory.”   Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.”   Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“   Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“   Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”   *Transcription*   Music: (0:11 – 0:11)   Laura Dugger: (0:11 – 2:21) Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, where we have practical chats for intentional living. I'm your host, Laura Dugger, and I'm so glad you're here.   Today's message is not intended for little ears. We'll be discussing some adult themes, and I want you to be aware before you listen to this message.   Leman Property Management Company has the apartment you will be able to call home, with over 1,700 apartment units available in Central Illinois. Visit them today at lemanproperties.com or connect with them on Facebook.   My returning guest for today is Dr. Juli Slattery.   She has authored another book entitled Surrendered Sexuality: How Knowing Jesus Changes Everything, and we're going to cover a few themes from this book, but I think what you're going to find most helpful are her candid responses to some really tricky questions related to dating and pornography, technology, thought life, shows that we watch as believers, divorce, and just intimacy in general as married couples.   So, I think this is an episode that you're going to want to learn from yourself, but you'll also want to share with others because Dr. Juli has offered us such a gift as she directs us back to the heart issues and wisely guides us into sexual integrity in our own lives.   Here's our chat.   Welcome back to The Savvy Sauce, Dr. Juli.   Dr. Juli Slattery: (2:21 – 2:21) Thanks so much for having me back. It's always a joy.   Laura Dugger: (2:21 – 2:22) Well, I love that you've been a repeat guest many times. So, we get to just dive right in today because I'm going to link all of your previous episodes in the show notes. But to dive in, I'm just curious, as believers, where does your heart break as you see us compromising on God's design for sex?   Dr. Juli Slattery: (2:22 – 3:31) Hmm. That's such a good question. You know, I think my heart breaks the most in that when we compromise God's design for sexuality, or even when we don't understand it or understand His goodness, it means that there is a breach in our relationship with God.   And so, I am so passionate about what I do, not necessarily because I love talking about sexuality, but because for a lot of people, sexuality represents a wall between them and God, like an issue they can't resolve, or a place of shame that they just can't quite shake free from, or battle with sin that they feel like they're enslaved to. And so, those things mean that there's a limit to how much they invite God into their lives.   And so, for me, that's where my heart breaks the most is, you know, ultimately, we were created for the greatest fellowship with God and anything that gets in the way of that is something that God cares about and something that I care about.   Laura Dugger: (3:32 – 4:03) You say that well, and you've written many books, but in this most recent one, you plainly state one issue when you write, “You will not be able to obey God with your sexual thoughts, while binging shows and music that continually display the exact opposite.”   And I love how practical that is. So, Juli, why do you think this has become so normalized? And I would say, especially in Christian marriages.   Dr. Juli Slattery: (4:05 – 5:58) Yeah, you know, I think a lot of it is that the church has been historically really quiet about sexuality, you know, like we might talk about save sex for marriage, and don't cheat on your husband and that sort of thing. But the gray areas about how we think about our sexuality and kind of what we have the liberty and freedom to engage in, there's kind of silence, or maybe there's legalism.   And I think in that space, what ends up happening is the culture is so forthright with a message about sexuality, like woven throughout every single show that you could stream on any platform, you know, your music on Spotify, even the news you consume, the Instagram feeds, whatever, it's consistently showing you a way to understand sexuality that is contrary to God's design, and the messaging can be so subtle, or so repetitive that we don't even realize we're ingesting it.   And so, it's normal to talk about with your friends, like the latest season of The Bachelor, or, you know, the latest thing that you're streaming that if you really look at it, there's probably 100 references to sexuality that are outside of God's design. And so, we end up just having our mind conformed to this world.   And the scripture says really clearly in Romans 12, that we can't offer ourselves to God while we're still thinking like the world thinks that it requires an act of transformation of our thinking. And I don't know that there's anywhere more than we need this than in the topic of understanding our sexuality.   Laura Dugger: (6:00 – 6:59) Okay, so for I'm thinking of married couples, because I was recently at a wedding shower. And I love a friend from church. Her name is Dawn Karius. And she was giving the devotional and just sharing. You know, it's very easy to get married and fall into this trap. She was talking about what you watch specifically.   And she said, so many couples will watch something together, watch a show before bed, but be really intentional. If that is what you choose to do, then the shows that you're watching, even though you're with your spouse, is that drawing both of you closer to Christ? Because if it's pulling you further away from Christ, it's also pulling you away from one another.   And so, with all of that, and with what you've studied and written about, if a couple's hearing that and or some single person just hearing this, what would be your practical advice or encouragement for them?   Dr. Juli Slattery: (7:00 – 9:29) Yeah, some of it is, we can't live in a bubble. You know, it's, I think that there are some couples will have the conviction that, you know, we're just going to get rid of all of our devices, we're going to get rid of every streaming service. And there's nothing wrong with that decision, you might feel convicted to do that.   But for most couples, I would say, they're like, okay, we live in this world, we need to understand even the world we live in. And so, it's not like we're going to completely be cut off. But are we being discerning about what we consume?   And what are the standards that we might hit where we might just say, “You know what, we don't need to be watching this.” You know, like I can think of one show in particularly that my husband and I were watching. And it was a well-written show. It was exciting. But there was just so much profanity and just gross kind of sexual content that after two or three episodes, we're both just like, “You know what, as good as the show is, we just, this isn't, we're not watching this. Like we need to stop.”   And I think you need to have those discussions and you might have a different level of conviction than your spouse does. And that's okay, but at least have those conversations and you need to follow your conviction.   But then the other thing I would say that is equally important, if not more important, what are you consuming that helps you get God's perspective of sexuality? And what I've found is that a whole lot of Christian married couples know very little about what it looks like to build a healthy sex life in their marriage. And they're not consuming anything that helps them know how to love each other better, how to overcome differences, even how their bodies work, how to focus on one another and enjoy sex in a holy erotic way.   And so, even if you're watching and consuming very little content from the world, but you're not actively pursuing anything that gives you a biblical perspective, you're still going to end up defaulting to what the world says. And so, I think that again, it's equally as important or not, if not more important to be pursuing what's true and what's right and what's good.   Laura Dugger: (9:31 – 9:53) I love that, how you flipped it. And that discernment piece is huge because we don't want to be desensitized to then that we're consuming and we also want to feed on the good. So, I think it even leads to a broader question, again, as Christ followers, how can we recognize if our conscience is being pricked?   Dr. Juli Slattery: (9:54 – 12:05) Yeah, we can start by asking the Lord. You know, I mean, I think it's in, is it Psalm 139, where, you know, David is basically saying, “Search me, oh God, and know my thoughts, you know, show me if there's any offensive way within me.”   I think that's a beautiful prayer as an individual and as a couple, like God, we want to honor you with what we consume in media, with what we think about, would you guide us and would you show us? And then I think we all have that experience of watching something or listening to something or reading something where we're like, “Uh, I don't know, like, this is sort of a gray area. Like, I'm uncomfortable here. I probably shouldn't be watching this.” Or “Wow, that's really, that's really in your face. Like that's really graphic.”   And it's heeding the Holy Spirit when you get those prompts, instead of just pushing through and being like, “Ah, it's not that big of a deal. It's not going to affect me.” Like when you feel that sense of prompting, you respond to it and you say, “All right, I'm going to put this down. I'm going to shut this off.”   And, um, you know, the scripture says that we can become callous to those promptings of the Holy Spirit if we are in a habit of just running right through that. But we become more sensitive to the Holy Spirit when we yield and when we obey.   Um, and so, I think even just keeping track, you know, every day or every week, like where were the times regarding this or anything else that I really felt convicted by the Holy Spirit about maybe something I said about a friend, uh, or about a little white lie I told, you know, where were the times where I really felt the Holy Spirit nudging me and what did I do? Um, where do I need to confess that I didn't respond well? And where do I need to celebrate that? Yes, I listened, I obeyed, I yielded. Um, and so, I think that's a practice we get into of either ignoring that conviction or really yielding to it.   Laura Dugger: (12:06 – 12:28) Hmm. And that gets after the heart issue, which Jesus is so concerned about our heart. And that's a very softened heart approach. Yes. I hope we can have. And as it relates to sexual integrity, then what are some other ways that we need to be on guard so that we're careful not to be misled?   Dr. Juli Slattery: (12:29 – 13:37) Yeah, boy, I think there's just so much conversation. Um, again, even in Christian circles, sometimes around having a negative attitude towards sex, um, kind of accepting some forms of pornography as normal and even good, you know, husband bashing, wife bashing, you know, like complaining, kind of letting the thought feed in your mind of maybe I should have married somebody else.   Maybe that my life would be easier if I, I weren't married to this person. I wish they were this or that. So, sort of that discontent that is natural to feel in marriage. But the question is, what do you do with it? Do you give it space to grow and to nurture, or do you bring that before the Lord?   Um, so, I think those are some of the ways that we want to look at, like, how am I giving the enemy space in my life and in my marriage versus how am I inviting God to really reclaim what's broken here?   Laura Dugger: (13:38 – 14:01) Well, and then even thinking of the other side to guard ourselves from having a critical and judgmental spirit toward others or just having self-righteous pride. Can you educate us on some common reasons why some people may be predisposed to struggle with some certain sexual sins?   Dr. Juli Slattery: (14:02 – 17:20) Yeah, absolutely. I think that's so important, um, because the research really shows that some of us are more, I don't know if I'd say it that way, but we are going to be more predetermined maybe to struggle with things like pornography or same-sex attraction, or even hooking up.   And it's never like a one plus one equals two exactly. But there are what we might say indicators or risk factors that make you more vulnerable to those kinds of sexual struggles. And some of them might be unhealthy family dynamics growing up, you know, none of us had a perfect family, but let's say you grew up in a family where one of your parents was like overtly critical towards you all the time.   Maybe you went through a divorce with your parents where, um, you know, at a certain age, you just, your family fell apart and you're kind of looking for that stability and love. People who have experienced sexual trauma in childhood or the teen years are going to be more pre-dispositioned to want to understand that or act that out.   People who might struggle with anxiety. And, you know, some of it is we got to understand that sex, because it elicits dopamine in our brain and oxytocin and endorphins, which are all really feel good kind of experiences and hormones and neurotransmitters. When we had a sexual experience at a young age, our brain can learn, “Oh, this is how I deal with stress. This is how I deal with depression. This is how I deal with loneliness.”   So, a lot of times when you talk to somebody who has an ongoing struggle with a sexual temptation or sin, it's because they've learned as a pattern from maybe the time they were 10 years old or 12 years old or 15 years old, that this is how I dealt with the stress in my family. This is how I dealt with when my father died. This is how I dealt with when I was sexually abused. Like this was the way that I found to self-regulate and to self-medicate and to find comfort.   And that can be masturbation. It can be pornography or again, you know, acting out sexually. And so, for people who have that kind of story, and this might be your spouse, or this might be against somebody that you're looking at and judging to just say, “You need to stop that behavior,” is often not going to be enough. They need to do the work of really looking at what am I using sex for? What are the wounds that I'm using sex to cover up?   And how do I actually get the healing I need and find healthier and safer ways for me to cope with negative emotions? And that's why groups are really important for people who have sexual struggles. Counseling is really important. And again, that long journey of healing and freedom, not just a one-time decision that I'm going to try to never do this again.   Laura Dugger: (17:21 – 20:19) Love that word freedom, even because that hope is available. And just pointing out how you said this is not deterministic. That's not what we're saying is if you experience something, you will act out sexually. But I agree with you that it is fascinating and helpful to hear the correlation of certain things that happen, especially in childhood, and how that plays out long-term.   And I am blanking on which guest it was on The Savvy Sauce, but somebody was enlightening me. I think it was for females that if they were sexually abused, typically before a certain age, then they were more likely to struggle in marriage with wanting to completely avoid sex. But then if it was after a certain age, that it was completely opposite where they maybe used sex to medicate, or they were very aggressive and even would act out, let's say in single years, that they would sleep around with a bunch of partners if they had been wounded.   And so, I just think it just, it helps us to not be judgmental of one another. We don't know the full story.   Dr. Juli Slattery: (20:20 – 21:09) Yes. Yeah. There's always more there than we usually realize at first. And, you know, this plays out a lot in marriage because there are a lot of women who are married to guys who are addicted to pornography. And that's a deeply painful dynamic. That's really hard.   But to understand that your husband didn't want to have this struggle, often doesn't know how to get out of it, you know, gives you compassion. It doesn't mean that you look the other way, you need to get help, and you need to insist on getting help. But it does give you empathy and compassion that there's something underlying this and feeding it. It's not just, “Oh, I think I'm going to, you know, look at porn and hurt my wife again,” that there's always a deeper dynamic at work.   Laura Dugger: (21:10 – 21:50) Absolutely. And even an example from your book, I'll just read a quote where you said, “I spoke with a man who runs a sexual addiction program. He told me he had never met someone with sexual addiction, who did not also have significant sexual or psychological trauma in their past.”   And I think it goes along with what we're saying. But if we also then flip it and look at more of the positive side, how can we rightly prioritize connection and intimacy in marriage as God intended?   Dr. Juli Slattery: (21:53 – 24:24) I think first of all, we need to be convinced that this is worth it. You know, when we look at everything there is to do in life, there's so many worthy demands on our time. You know, from I want my house to look nice, and we need to make friends and we need to be an outreach to our community. And our kids are taking a lot of time and they should, and they've got all their activities and our church needs our help. Like when do you have time to do all this? And then, oh yeah, prioritize your marriage.   And I think we have to become convinced that if we're not working on our marriage, and specifically if we're not working on the sexual connection in marriage, then all those other things have the potential to fall apart. That the way I've learned it over time is that sex is never going to be a neutral issue in your marriage. It's either going to be something that is bonding you together and causing you to work on the deeper levels of intimacy, even as you talk through sexual difficulties, or it's going to be something not immediately, but over time, that becomes a wedge between you.   It might start as a wedge of resentment of my needs aren't getting met, or I feel like you're objectifying me or you're putting pressure on me. Or it might be a deeper wedge of a pornography addiction or something that's not being addressed. Or I don't trust my husband because of my trauma. And those things don't just stay dormant. The wedge becomes bigger and bigger and bigger until you get to the place where now you're not comfortable being in the same room anymore and you feel like roommates. And then now one of you is attracted to somebody else and the story plays on.   And there are very wonderful godly men and women who have gotten married with every purpose to stay together. But a wedge like this has grown over time to the point where they're now thinking about divorce or one of them has cheated on the other. And so, we have to be convinced that honoring God in our lives means prioritizing our marriage, and it means working on this intimate aspect of our marriage so that we can be a stable foundation for our families and our churches and our communities.   Laura Dugger: (24:26 – 24:39) And so, if we're getting as practical as possible, what are the best practices that you've seen in married couples who are happily married? How have you experienced that?   Dr. Juli Slattery: (24:40 – 28:04) Yeah. I'll put it in kind of like a cliche sort of way because I think sometimes that's catchy. Number one, I would say they're couples who will resist the drift, who will repair the rift, and who will adjust to the shift.   So, I can kind of break that down a little bit. But you know, the first thing is resisting the drift of you can go weeks without meaningfully connecting with your spouse. And I don't just mean sexually, but I mean like eye to eye, you know, just loving touch, just connecting to their hearts. And so, couples who know how to resist that drift, like they have regular times built into their calendar where this is where we connect every day. Like even for 10 minutes, this is where we hold each other's hands, we look at each other in the eye, we really connect with what's in your heart, how are you? And they have regular rhythms of once a week or once every other week, we're going to go out and do something fun together, just the two of us. We've worked through what sex looks like in this season. Like how many times do we want to have sex? Are we scheduling that? How are we making sure that's a priority? And so, that's the resisting the drift.   And the second one is repairing the rift. And at every marriage, there are going to be things that tear you apart. And sometimes those things might be sexual in nature, like a temptation, an emotional affair, pornography use, sometimes it's going to be something else where you have a deep disagreement that you can't resolve on your own. And you need to be courageous enough to reach out for help and say, like, if we don't get help, if we don't address this issue, like it's going to become something that tears us apart. Any couple that you meet who is happily married for like 30 years or more, they can tell you a story of when they had a rift, and the kind of help that really address that.   And then I think the third thing is adjusting to the shift. And in even the normal stages of marriage, there are shifts that happen. Like, you know, I'm in the stage right now where me and the people my age are going through biological changes with menopause and with aging. And, you know, some people are going through becoming grandparents and retirement. And there's all these shifts that are happening even naturally. There's other couples that are younger who are going through the shift of pregnancy and battling infertility. And some people are going through cancer. And there are things that happen that require you to shift your expectations. And to not just wish that it is like it used to be. But this is the marriage we have now. Here are the circumstances we have now. Here are the bodies we have now. How do we learn to love each other and embrace this season, given the changes that we're experiencing?   And so, I think that's a framework that I've seen healthy couples navigate over time that really fosters intimacy.   Laura Dugger: (28:05 – 29:29) That is incredible. I love how you put that. And I've shared with you before that my background is in Christian sex therapy. So, sex is a topic that does come up a lot and people feel comfortable sharing or asking questions. So, just in regular conversation, I want to recap two conversations that kind of show stances on both ends of the spectrum. And I'd love to hear your wisdom on how to respond to each one.   So, first, there was a Christian married woman with children, and she was teaching younger women to say yes to every single sexual advance from their husband. And she said, “If your husband has the higher drive, and he wants to have sex twice a day, then consider yourself lucky. And don't ever say no, because your body is not your own.” Yeah, it's hard to recap. So, this is not my perspective. So, sharing both ends.   So, that was one person. And then on the other end, I've heard a woman tell me, “You know, I just didn't feel like having sex for about a year and a half after we had our baby. So, I just told my husband, you're going to have to wait.”   So, loaded question, but Dr. Juli, how would you respond to each of those?   Dr. Juli Slattery: (29:29 – 32:31) Well, Laura, I feel like you probably would have just as good of response as I would to those. Yeah, I like that you're presenting those as two extremes, because they are two extremes. And I think both extremes kind of miss the heart. We want to be able to say yes to sex and intimacy. And being able to say yes means also being able to say no.   In that first situation, essentially, what is going to end up happening is that that wife is going to start feeling like my husband wants me for sex. And I don't have the capacity to enjoy it twice a day. I'm starting to feel like an object or used. And the husband is never going to learn that covenant love requires self-denial. And at every level, you know, what did, what did Paul say to husbands in Ephesians 5, like love your wife as you love your own body and be willing to lay down your, your life for your wife. And that means being sensitive to the fact that she doesn't have the same sexual appetite as you do. She doesn't have the same biology you do, that it actually can be physically painful, emotionally traumatic for a wife to have sex when she's not physically ready. Really, that couple is not working on intimacy. They're, they're kind of reinforcing a pattern that sex is about the husband getting his needs and desires met only through the wife without considering her. And that might work for short term, but that's not building intimacy in the long term. And it's not teaching either of them. And that wife needs to learn her own sexual desires and patterns and be able to communicate those to her husband. So, that's what I would say in that first one.   And the second one, essentially, you have a wife kind of having that more selfish perspective of, I only have sex when I want it and on my terms, instead of considering the husband. And, you know, how do I focus on him? How do I work on experiencing sexual desire? How do I foster that? Because it's important for my husband, it's important for our marriage. And I don't want to be selfish.   And so, I think both of those situations are kind of approaching sex where one person gets to be selfish, and the other person has to sacrifice. That's ministry, that's not intimacy. And so, we really want to be at a place where both of us, the higher desire one and the lower desire one, are learning what does it look like to really love well, to love sacrificially and to communicate the ways that I feel loved. I don't know, what would you add to that or change?   Laura Dugger: (32:31 – 33:11) That's why I asked you, you said that beautifully, better than I could have responded. And again, you're getting back to the heart of it and pointing us back to Jesus with each answer. And, you know, commonly people do struggle with having a safe place where they can ask candid questions about sex.   So, I am going to throw some more at you. And some of these are ones that you wrote about. But just to give us a little taste, even of the book, or if somebody has a burning question like this, I'd love your healthy response.   So, how do you respond when people ask, “How far is too far to go in a dating relationship?”   Dr. Juli Slattery: (33:14 – 36:32) Yeah, I think people are looking for a line, you know, like, as long as I don't cross this line, are we good? And of course, I think their traditional line would be as long as you're not having intercourse. But I think that misses the larger context of the purpose of sex. I've had to be convicted of this in my own life. And we talked very early in our conversation about how we've just sort of ingested messages from the culture. And the culture says that healthy sexuality is an expression of how I feel, right? So, so if I feel safe with you, if I feel romantically connected to you, if I feel sexually attracted to you, then it would be healthy for me to engage sexually with you. And then Christians would come and say, yes, but as long as you don't cross this line. So, that's sort of the narrative that I think a lot of us have heard in the church.   But if we look at, from a biblical perspective, God did not design sex to be an expression of how I feel. Okay, let that sink in for a minute. God did not design sex to be an expression of how I feel. He designed it to be a seal and a celebration of covenant, of the choice that a man and a woman make to covenant their lives to one another. And for them to say, just like I give you my whole life, I promise faithfulness to you. I promise that we are becoming one as a family. We have now a physical way to symbolize that in becoming one with our bodies. And so, even if I feel romantically attached to somebody I'm not married to, I don't act on that. Or even if I don't feel romantically attached to my husband, we work on our sex life because we're in covenant.   And so, when you begin to understand sex from that standpoint, you answer that question differently of how far can I go? Why are you sharing your body with another person when you haven't shared your life with them? And, you know, I think that the standard is not legalistic, but the heart of the question is a lot, that's a harder question. You know, like it says, and I think 2 Thessalonians or 1 Thessalonians, you know, Paul says, the will of God is that you do not engage in sexual immorality. Don't take advantage of a brother or sister.   And how many times in dating relationships do you look back and you're like, “Wow, I gave too much of myself to that person or I took too much of myself from that person. Like we engaged in things that now we're broken apart. Like I wish I could take back.” And so, what does it look like to honor each other? What does it look like to honor the Lord? So, I think those kinds of questions help you get to the heart of how do we steward dating relationships a lot better than looking for a line we're not supposed to cross.   Laura Dugger: (36:33 – 37:31) When was the first time you listened to an episode of The Savvy Sauce? How did you hear about our podcast? Did a friend share it with you? Will you be willing to be that friend now and text five other friends or post on your socials anything about The Savvy Sauce that you love? If you share your favorite episodes, that is how we continue to expand our reach and get the good news of Jesus Christ in more ears across the world.   So, we need your help.   Another way to help us grow is to leave a five-star review on Apple Podcasts. Each of these suggestions will cost you less than a minute, but it will be a great benefit to us. Thank you so much for being willing to be generous with your time and share. We appreciate you.   As Christ followers, should we use a friend's preferred names and pronouns? So, how would you respond to that?   Dr. Juli Slattery: (37:32 – 39:20) Boy, this is a hot topic. There are people who have really strong opinions on this. You're saying, do I use a friend's preferred names and pronouns?   And I think the fact that you have a friendship means that you can have a deeper conversation about the meaning of the names and pronouns. And I think that deeper conversation needs to happen. Because, you know, ultimately we don't like, we don't want to just say, “Oh yeah, whatever you want to call yourself is fine with me. Truth doesn't matter.” But on the other hand, we really want to get to the spiritual issue underneath this. And there's a, there's a big difference between somebody who doesn't know the Lord, doesn't know where you stand on any of this, and somebody that you can engage in a conversation with and seek wisdom on.   I think there, there's probably more latitude to use somebody's preferred name than pronouns. And I think in friendships, sometimes you can work that through and just say, you know, “Hey, I love you. I understand where you're coming from. I'm going to try my best to use the name that you're asking. But the pronoun is something that I'm not comfortable with. And here's why. And just like I'm, I want to understand where you are. I hope that you would have grace and understand where I am.” So, in a friendship, you're able to have those kinds of conversations. Whereas if it's a coworker or it's a stranger or a neighbor, sometimes we can't have that level of conversation. And so, I, we might choose to handle the situation a little differently.   Laura Dugger: (39:21 – 39:36) That's good. A hundred percent truth, a hundred percent love or kindness. And what if somebody asks, how much attention should we be giving these secondary issues as believers?   Dr. Juli Slattery: (39:39 – 41:03) Boy, I, I think first of all, the secondary issues come out of the primary issues. So, the primary issue, and you know, the issue I wrote Surrendered Sexuality is about is if my life belongs to the Lord, then my whole life needs to belong to Him, including how I think about cultural issues, including how I treat my neighbor.   And so, I don't see them as secondary issues. I see them as an outgrowth of the primary issue. I think when they become secondary issues are when we argue with other believers about it and it becomes the most important thing. Like I put you in a category based on, will you use preferred names and pronouns? And then I think we're missing what God calls us to.   The primary issue is that we want to honor God and we want to love each other. And so, let's keep going back to that primary issue. How do I love my neighbor well? How do I honor God's truth well? How do I pursue unity within the body of Christ well, as we're navigating some of these secondary issues? So, you know, like if we're going back to the primary issue, it means that we have to talk about the secondary issues, but we talk about them in light of what's primary.   Laura Dugger: (41:04 – 41:17) I like that. And I just have three more of these kind of tricky questions. So, another one, does pornography addiction qualify as reasons for a biblical divorce?   Dr. Juli Slattery: (41:20 – 42:50) I would say, first of all, technically, if we look at the word for sexual immorality in the scripture, which is porneia, we would say, yeah, you know, pornography does qualify for that.   But for the person who's asking this, maybe the woman who's asking this, I would say, why do you want to get out of the marriage? And what Jesus said is Moses permitted divorce because of the hardness of your heart. And I think a more important question is where's your heart and where's your husband's heart? Because I've seen people with pornography addictions who have really open hearts towards healing, and they're willing to get the help that they need. They're repentant. They're willing to do the work. They're willing to go through even a time of separation to show that they're serious about that work.   And then there are people who have very hard hearts of, “This is who I am. I might go through the motions, but I'm really not interested in change.” And so, I think the pornography addiction is less the issue than the posture of the person's heart and their willingness to work. And if your spouse is willing to work, then I think it's on us to have soft hearts too, and to be open to the work that God can do.   Laura Dugger: (42:51 – 43:34) That's good because saying you have to zoom out and see more of the story in that stance, because that's very different. Somebody who's working on it and hates the struggle and is wanting to break free versus being married to a narcissist who is abusing you and treating you in a certain way and addicted to pornography. So, you point out well that all of these questions have more to them.   Okay. So, two more, if a spouse has had an emotional affair in the past with a coworker, but they still work with this person, what is the wise thing to do and how should they handle it if their spouse is uncomfortable with them still working there?   Dr. Juli Slattery: (43:36 – 44:33) Yeah, boy, that's something that I would want to seek counseling on. You and your spouse really need to get with a counselor and talk that through. The generic advice in that situation would be to get a different job, to not have that relationship still a temptation or available.   But there are sometimes very extenuating circumstances where that's not a possibility, or at least for now, that's not a possibility. And so, I would really encourage you to meet with a third party to sort through the details of your particular situation. Because it could be that your spouse isn't willing to take that hard step of cutting off that relationship, or it could be that they're willing, but again, there's extenuating circumstances. And I would really want a wise person who is engaging with you to help you navigate that.   Laura Dugger: (44:34 – 44:44) But I love that, how you highlight that something to look for though, is that you would hope your spouse would be willing to make that right, especially if they were the offending.   Dr. Juli Slattery: (44:46 – 44:46) Okay.   Laura Dugger: (44:47 – 45:00) And then also, Juli, because scripture does talk about turning the other cheek, does that mean it's the same as saying God expects you to stay in an abusive marriage?   Dr. Juli Slattery: (45:02 – 47:41) Absolutely not. If you were in an abusive marriage, you are not doing your spouse any good. You are allowing your spouse to be in a place where they're destroying their own life and they're destroying the people that they love.   Now you say, okay, where biblically do we see this? We see that Jesus, he says in John, he says, “I laid down my life for my sheep. I lay it down willingly. No one has the authority to take it from me. I have the authority to lay it down and I have the authority to take it up again.” And we see Him living that out with religious leaders who were after Him all the time, who wanted to stone Him, who were accusing Him of things. It says over and over again that Jesus escaped from them. He just got out of there until it was time that the Father said, now is the time for you to give yourself for the world.   So, we take that principle and we say, Jesus was not abused. Jesus did not let Himself be abused. He gave Himself as a lamb to the slaughter as a sacrifice for the Father and for the world. But that's very different. Up until that time, we see Him have great boundaries. We see Him not get, it even says He didn't entrust Himself to man because He knew what was in their hearts. I mean, He had boundaries with people that could have hurt Him.   And I also love when we see this in the story of King David and Saul, when Saul is chasing David, Saul is abusive, right? He wants to kill David. And so, David escapes. And there's a situation where David has the power or the opportunity to kill Saul and he doesn't do it. And then Saul just is struck by his conscience, and he comes back to David. He goes, “You're a better man than I am. I'm so sorry. You know, come back with me and I'll treat you well.” And even though David doesn't take revenge, he doesn't go back with Saul. He's still, he's like, “You go your way. I'll go my way. I'm going to let the Lord judge between us.”   And I think that's a great model. If you're in any kind of abusive relationship, you don't take revenge, but you also don't stay in that situation. You go your way, let them go their way, and you let God judge between you. And I think we see that over and over again in scripture.   Laura Dugger: (47:42 – 48:19) I think that is so well said. And it reminds me of a somewhat recent conversation in 2025 with Stacey Womack who's saying with domestic violence, really the way God would see it is child abuse. And that kind of helps our paradigm because we are His child.   And she elaborates on that. So, I said that that was the last one, but I actually thought of one more as it relates to our children.   So, is it reasonable to assume that once a child has a smartphone, 100% of them will be exposed to pornography?   Dr. Juli Slattery: (48:21 – 49:15) Yeah, it is. And I would say not just once they have a smartphone, because I know with one of my kids, we delayed the smartphone decision, but he had a learning disability that required him to have an iPad for school. And somehow, even though we locked down all the apps, somehow he's able to access it through that. Or it can be a gaming system, or it can be a friend's phone. And so, having a smartphone or device like that certainly makes it more probable.   But you know, like our kids are surrounded by screens and technology, not just what's in our home, but in other people's homes and at school. And so, I think it's safe to assume, unfortunately, that yes, 100% of our kids are going to be exposed to pornography, probably by the time they're 13 or 14.   Laura Dugger: (49:16 – 49:31) And sadly, some much younger than that. But even if there's parental controls, or filters put on, it is just something on my heart that we have to be so vigilant against.   Dr. Juli Slattery: (49:32 – 50:12) Yeah, no, I felt like when, you know, I have three boys, and when they were all three kind of in those teen years, I felt like I was trying to plug holes in a boat, and there'd be new ones popping up all the time. Whether it's like apps, or you know, things that you think are completely safe. Somehow, pornography can get through.   And our kids are smart, like they know the workarounds to the parental things. And that's why we just need to have conversation after conversation, just discipling them, not just protecting them from pornography, but discipling them through what they're inevitably going to be exposed to.   Laura Dugger: (50:13 – 51:05) That's a great point that not just being reactive, but proactive. I think why I have such a heart for this is because practicing and doing therapy and having so many people come in those wounds, that if that addiction gets a stronghold, and that pornography use, it just can wreak havoc in people long term. And so, if we can do that hard work of discipling early on, it is such a blessing to our children, to the generation.   So, I'm just so grateful for your candid responses. And I think it's also a helpful reminder just to never take on a burden that was never meant for us to carry. So, are there any ways that God has taught you to not try and do His business?   Dr. Juli Slattery: (51:07 – 52:16) Yeah. Boy, that's such a great question. I've had to come to the conclusion that I can't convince anyone of right and wrong. You know, like, I can't convince anyone that pornography is wrong, or gay marriage is wrong, or you know, like, that's not my job. My job is to walk with the Lord with integrity and faithfulness and to testify as to who He is.   And so much of this work, whether we're talking about marriage or our friends or our children, so much of this work has to be the Lord's work. And you reach a stage with your kids when they hit those teen years, where you realize the things my kids most need, I can't give them. I can't give them a relationship with God. I can't give them the desire to follow and seek the Lord. Like, I can model that for them. I can encourage them. But that is between them and the Lord. And if I try to control that, I'm just getting in the way of the work that God wants to do in their lives.   Laura Dugger: (52:18 – 52:33) Goodness, I will need to write that down and reflect on that. That is so good, Juli. And there's still so much more that you could share with us.   So, where is your preferred place that we can go online and continue learning from you?   Dr. Juli Slattery: (52:34 – 52:48) Yeah, I would say two places. Number one, our website is authenticintimacy.com. And the second one is the podcast that I do called Java with Juli. It goes along with The Savvy Sauce, you know, like they kind of go together.   Laura Dugger: (52:49 – 53:11) Yes, absolutely. We will certainly link to all of that in the show notes for today's episode.   And you're familiar, I've asked you many times before, because we are called savvy, because savvy is synonymous with practical knowledge or discernment. So, as my final question for you today, Dr. Juli, what is your savvy sauce?   Dr. Juli Slattery: (53:13 – 53:58) Oh, I don't even remember how I answered this the last few times. I think I may have said this before, but I think reading the dead old guys is one of my savvy sauce, like reading people who didn't live in this generation who loved the Lord.   And learning from them is just, that's probably taught me more discernment than anything, because they just cut right through the cultural noise that I think sometimes can blind us. And they really help me see my heart for what it is and help me really want to pursue God at a deeper level.   Laura Dugger: (53:59 – 54:03) Wow. Any specific recommendations that have been personal favorites there?   Dr. Juli Slattery: (54:04 – 54:22) Yeah, I love A.W. Tozer. I love many of Andrew Murray's books, particularly Humility and Absolute Surrender. And C.S. Lewis is another great one, Mere Christianity. So, those are some that I would recommend you start with.   Laura Dugger: (54:23 – 54:44) That is wonderful. Thank you for sharing that.   And Juli, it's just always such a delight to get to share an hour of conversation with you. And you are just this beautiful mixture of bold and gentle and humble, all combined into one. So, thank you for being my returning guest today.   Dr. Juli Slattery: (54:44 – 54:49) Oh, thank you. And it's such a pleasure to be with you. Thanks for your great questions.   Laura Dugger: (54:51 – 58:33) One more thing before you go, have you heard the term gospel before? It simply means good news. And I want to share the best news with you, but it starts with the bad news.   Every single one of us were born sinners, but Christ desires to rescue us from our sin, which is something we cannot do for ourselves. This means there's absolutely no chance we can make it to heaven on our own. So, for you and for me, it means we deserve death, and we can never pay back the sacrifice we owe to be saved.   We need a savior, but God loved us so much. He made a way for his only son to willingly die in our place as the perfect substitute. This gives us hope of life forever in right relationship with him.   That is good news. Jesus lived the perfect life. We could never live and died in our place for our sin.   This was God's plan to make a way to reconcile with us so that God can look at us and see Jesus. We can be covered and justified through the work Jesus finished. If we choose to receive what he has done for us, Romans 10:9 says, “that if you confess with your mouth, Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”   So, you pray with me now. Heavenly father, thank you for sending Jesus to take our place. I pray someone today right now is touched and chooses to turn their life over to you.   Will you clearly guide them and help them take their next step in faith to declare you as Lord of their life? We trust you to work and change lives now for eternity. In Jesus name we pray.   Amen. If you prayed that prayer, you are declaring him for me. So, me for him, you get the opportunity to live your life for him.   And at this podcast, we're called The Savvy Sauce for a reason. We want to give you practical tools to implement the knowledge you have learned. So, you're ready to get started.   First, tell someone, say it out loud, get a Bible. The first day I made this decision, my parents took me to Barnes and Noble and let me choose my own Bible. I selected the Quest NIV Bible and I love it.   You can start by reading the book of John. Also get connected locally, which just means tell someone who's a part of a church in your community that you made a decision to follow Christ. I'm assuming they will be thrilled to talk with you about further steps such as going to church and getting connected to other believers to encourage you.   We want to celebrate with you too. So, feel free to leave a comment for us here. If you did make a decision to follow Christ, we also have show notes included where you can read scripture that describes this process.   And finally, be encouraged. Luke 15:10 says, “in the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.” The heavens are praising with you for your decision today.   And if you've already received this good news, I pray you have someone to share it with. You are loved and I look forward to meeting you here next time.

I want to read you a short email from a married man in a dead bedroom.There's no cheating.No screaming fights.No dramatic collapse.Just a quiet decision to stop bringing it up.I break down how a lot of men end up in sexless marriages not because they chose them — but because they slowly became passive. They stopped rocking the boat. They stopped advocating for themselves. They let things happen instead of taking control.We'll talk about:Why men confuse passivity with patienceHow avoiding conflict slowly erodes self-respectWhy guilt replaces desire in long-term relationshipsHow silence becomes the unspoken agreementAnd why wanting intimacy doesn't make you selfishThis isn't about demanding sex or blaming your partner. It's about agency — and what happens when a man quietly gives it up.If you've ever felt like your relationship just drifted into something you didn't choose, this one will probably hit close to home.Join the Brotherhood! https://helpformen.com/join

Sexless marriage sparks a heated debate on modern feminism, gender roles, and accountability. Panelists clash over withholding sex, loyalty, and whether feminism helped or hurt relationships.Full discussion breaks down marriage expectations, resentment, and why these conversations explode online. Watch till the end

If you're living in a sexless marriage you may want to know what you can do to change the direction you're headed in and start to reignite the spark that you had between you before. In this episode I talk about the common issue that effects every area of our lives but is almost guaranteed to be involved in some way or another when you find yourself in a low sex or no sex marriage or sexless relationship.In our coaching, we help men get a powerful new mindset that empowers you to give, love and connect more deeply because you're finally doing that within yourself first. This mindset allows empathy, trust and connection to happen because you're confident in who you're being. We teach skills and knowledge that nobody ever teaches men when we're younger. Skills and knowledge that make you feel confident and in control even when chaos is going on around you. It's amazing what you can achieve when you make yourself a priority. Most men don't.   They are too busy taking care of everyone else.  Too busy minding the store and making the money.   They are focused on the "outside game" of winning life. But their "inside game" of confidence and clarity is suffering badly. You can only improve your inside game with other men. We would love to help you become more calm, more strong emotionally and more confident and happy in who you are as a man. Come and join us, either through 1-on-1 coaching with my colleague Dan Dore or me, or in our group coaching program with other amazing men who are travelling the same path as you right now in our Men's Live Coaching Roundtable. There's an amazing tribe of guys in this group with us, supporting and helping each other through this process of growth and self realization. https://goodguys2greatmen.com/goodguys2greatmen-live-coaching-roundtable/ If you're facing possible divorce, we have an online course which is specifically for you - Defuse the Divorce Bomb: https://mojopolis.thinkific.com/courses/HDDB-preview?ref=a53950 What if this next year everything changed for you? That's what we want for you brother, We love teaching men these tools - how to be better, how to know who you are, what you stand for, what you want and how to CREATE it in your life through our Masculine Confidence coaching programs. Dan and I are here to guide you on this mission.https://goodguys2greatmen.com/mens-relationship-coaching/ Steve's book Straight Talk Tools for the Desperate Husband will help you to lead yourself and your relationship back to good health. Understand why your partner acts the way she does toward you and learn how to lead your life in the direction you want it to go. You CAN have the relationship you want, fulfilling all your desires while maintaining love and respect.https://goodguys2greatmen.com/straight-talk-tools-for-the-desperate-husband/ We also have a free e-book to help men learn how to lose their fear and be more bold in their marriage to create the love and connection they want. Get The Hard to Swallow Truth About Saving Your Marriage: https://goodguys2greatmen.com/ If you want to learn more about how to take a bigger step toward being a clear-headed, confident man of action, then find out more here: https://goodguys2greatmen.com/mens-relationship-coaching/ We would be thrilled to help you get there - our first discovery call is always free and always gives you a BIG boost of confidence. You WILL become a clearer, stronger, more confident man only through other men. Your woman cannot take you there - and she doesn't WANT to...trust us on that. Sign up to receive our email newsletters for lots more free tips and advice here: https://archive.aweber.com/stevemain Subscribe to be notified whenever we upload a new video: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC13h36xaBvyTPVAES4-4rXw?sub_confirmation=1 You can watch all our videos here: https://goodguys2greatmen.com/video-library/ Or read our blog articles here: https://goodguys2greatmen.com/blog/Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/goodguys2greatmen-podcast--4650431/support.

A lot of men reach a point where they say something quietly and honestly:“I did everything right… and it still fell apart.”I hear this all the time from men who showed up, stayed loyal, worked on themselves, went to therapy, avoided conflict, and tried to be good partners.And yet the relationship still deteriorated.The attraction faded.The resentment crept in.I explain why “doing everything right” often becomes the problem.We'll talk about:How being patient, understanding, and accommodating can slowly erase youWhy avoiding conflict kills attraction and self-respectHow over-functioning turns good men into manageable menWhy some men work on themselves and suddenly see the relationship clearlyAnd why doing the right thing doesn't always mean doing the healthy thingThis isn't about blaming women.And it's not about becoming cold or selfish.It's about understanding how self-abandonment sneaks into long-term relationships — and why some men outgrow a relationship the moment they stop disappearing.If you've ever felt exhausted, resentful, or confused about how things still went wrong, this one will probably hit close to home.Join us! https://helpformen.com/join

Most men in sexless marriages did exactly what they were told to do.They opened up more.They communicated better.They became more emotionally available.They went to therapy.And somehow, the sex life didn't come back.In many cases, it disappeared completely.In this episode, I explain why that happens — especially when you're married to a dismissive-avoidant partner.We'll talk about:Why “more emotional connection” can actually create less attractionHow anxious and avoidant attachment styles quietly kill desireWhy many men work on themselves and then realize the relationship itself isn't healthyWhy dismissive-avoidant partners often resist getting helpAnd why effort and effectiveness are not the same thing in long-term relationshipsThis isn't about blaming women.It's about understanding dynamics most men were never taught — and why doing everything “right” can still lead to a sexless marriage.If you're confused, frustrated, or starting to question your relationship, this conversation will likely hit close to home. Check out my book! https://deadbedroomfix.comJoin the Brotherhood! https://helpformen.com/join

The President of San Francisco Bay Coffee, Lisa Smoot, joins Sarah and Vinnie to solve your problems! Today's Bad Advice council is talking about friendships - how to lose them and how to keep them. Why aren't people pumped about the Winter Olympics this year? MORE disgusting habits that everyone secretly has. How often are we all having sex?

A lot of men end up believing things like “women cheat more,” “women want sex more than men,” or “most women cheat”.Those beliefs don't usually come from careful analysis.They come from pain.I break down why these stories feel so convincing — especially for analytical, system-oriented, and neurodivergent men — and why certainty often feels safer than ambiguity after betrayal, dead bedrooms, and relationship failure.We'll talk about:why men gravitate toward black-and-white explanationshow hidden-truth and conspiracy-style thinking sneaks into relationship beliefswhat the data actually says about libido differenceswhat long-running surveys show about infidelitywhy “women just lie on surveys” isn't the argument people think it isand why flattening an entire sex into a slogan quietly keeps men stuckThis isn't about defending women or blaming men.It's about understanding how the male brain copes with uncertainty — and why rigid, comforting stories often cost you more than they protect you.

For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/9QHgncrcyCc. Our guest in this episode, Xanet Pailet, went from a 26-year sexless marriage to become an intimacy coach. We talk about how Xanet helps couples discover deep, passionate intimacy, both sexually and emotionally. Xanet's website is https://howtoimprovemylovellife.com/. Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer's newsletter right from our homepage. Bruce's self-paced video course, The Passion Paradox: When You Feel Miles Apart and Still Love Each Other, is now available! Check out the free introductory lesson. And use the coupon code “ctin7” for 20% off! Information at https://brucechalmer.com. Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.   #Xanet Pailet #CouplesTherapyInSevenWords #ctin7 #DrBruceChalmer #JudyAlexander #intimacy

Text us your questions or topics for the show! We got you!Cass Morrow, Author of Disrupting Divorce: The NEW Man. Saving Struggling, Sexless, and Toxic Marriages.Kathryn Morrow, Author of Behind The White Picket Fence.STOP stacking unsafe situation on unsafe situation!If your family's toxic, it's time to cut the bullshit—YES, even if it's your own blood.You want a healthy marriage?Draw the line.Protect your home.No more Mr. Nice Guy, no more letting people walk all over you.If they're not helping you rise, they're dragging you down.Period.Cass & Kathryn break down EXACTLY how to spot the manipulation, when to cut ties, and why your marriage comes BEFORE anyone else—family included.This episode's not for the weak. It's for the ones ready to lead, ready to change, ready to STOP making excuses and finally do what needs to be done.If you need permission, here it is: CUT. THEM. OUT.And if you're still asking “will this work for me?”—you're not listening close enough.Let's go.

A lot of men don't think they have a problem with intimacy. They just feel a bit distant. A bit shut down. Less connected than they used to be to their partner, to sex, or to themselves. This episode goes right into that space.I'm joined by Dr. Dan Sneider. Dan is a therapist; however, this isn't a lecture or a list of techniques. It's a conversation grounded in his own lived experience and how he learned early on to shut parts of himself down, how that showed up in his relationships, and what it actually took for him to stay present instead of withdrawing when things got uncomfortable.We talk about how intimacy doesn't usually disappear overnight. It fades quietly. How many men default to pulling away rather than risking saying the wrong thing. And how habits that look like “sex issues” are often really about safety, control, and not knowing how to stay emotionally exposed without feeling weak or overwhelmed.Dan shares what he's learned, first in his own life, then through years of working alongside men, including:why emotional closeness can feel threatening, even in good relationshipshow shame and self-protection show up as silence, distraction, or distancewhy midlife often brings intimacy problems to the surfaceand how connection starts with honesty, not performance or confidenceThis episode is for men who care about their relationships but don't always know how to talk about what's going on inside them. Men who haven't “checked out”, but who feel something has shifted and don't want to lose what matters.It's not about fixing yourself. It's about understanding why intimacy feels hard and what actually helps.If you want to find out more about Dan's work, visit his website where you can also download his free guide: https://www.growthandgratitudetherapy.com/the-intimacy-shift. 

For an anxious guy, nothing is more confusing than discovering that your avoidant, seemingly asexual wife was having an affair.No touching. No sex. Years of rejection.And yet… she was sleeping with someone else.I break down a real message from a man in a long-term dead bedroom who discovered his dismissive-avoidant wife had been cheating for years. We dig into anxious vs. avoidant attachment, why this dynamic is so common, and why the affair usually has nothing to do with you lacking masculinity, confidence, or sexual value.If you've ever wondered:“How could she want sex with him but not me?”“What does an avoidant partner actually want?”“Why counseling never seems to work with avoidant spouses?”“Was I just too needy or anxious?”…this video will make things click.We'll also talk about:Why “new” always beats “safe”Why anxious partners are usually the only ones willing to do the workWhy avoidant people struggle in long-term monogamyAnd why this pattern tends to repeat itself again and againIf you're dealing with a dead bedroom, infidelity, or the anxious–avoidant trap, you're not alone.

Text us your questions or topics for the show! We got you!Cass Morrow, Author of Disrupting Divorce: The NEW Man. Saving Struggling, Sexless, and Toxic Marriages.Kathryn Morrow, Author of Behind The White Picket Fence.When sex feels like a chore, it's not a sex problem — it's a connection problem.In this episode of The NEW Marriage, we break down what “job sex” really means and why so many couples feel disconnected, pressured, or emotionally drained in the bedroom. From early passion to careers, kids, emotional regulation, and unhealed insecurity — we expose how intimacy slowly turns into obligation.If sex is being used to manage emotions, avoid conflict, or prevent rejection, desire will always die. True intimacy requires safety, emotional maturity, and connection far beyond the bedroom.This episode is for couples stuck in sexless marriages, partners feeling rejected or pressured, and anyone trying to understand what their lack of desire is really signaling.If you want a passionate, emotionally connected marriage — this conversation will challenge everything you think you know about intimacy.

Attraction doesn't die because of time.It dies because of complacency.In this episode, we talk about the uncomfortable reality many men avoid: how comfort, routine, and a lack of self-leadership quietly erode sexual desire in long-term relationships.This isn't about shaming men or blaming partners.It's about understanding how vitality, effort, and self-respect directly affect attraction — and why desire can't survive when men stop engaging with their own lives.We'll explore:Why “letting yourself go” is more energetic than physicalHow comfort kills polarity and erotic tensionWhy trying “for her” backfires — and what actually worksHow sexual confidence is built through self-respect, not performanceIf your relationship feels stable but disconnected…If sex feels pressured, rare, or obligatory…If you sense you've lost your edge — and want it back…This episode will challenge you, ground you, and call you forward.Not to be perfect.But to be present.Alive.And intentional again.Ready to improve your mast*rbation habits and have better sex with your woman? Join Ronan! My app to help you do exactly this: stephanieganowski.ac-page.com/ronan-landing-page

In today's episode, I read an email from a husband living one of the most brutal modern realities: his wife says she's “touched out” and has no energy for intimacy… yet somehow has unlimited emotional energy for another man at the gym.This is the pattern I see over and over in dead bedrooms:She didn't lose desire.She redirected it.If you're a man dealing with a sexless marriage, emotional disconnect, or a wife who has checked out but won't leave — this one's going to hit hard.Grab my book The Dead Bedroom Fix: https://deadbedroomfix.comJoin The Brotherhood here: https://helpformen.com/join

Are you in a sexless marriage and wondering how to hit reset? You're not alone. Many couples drift from lovers to roommates through the years and wake up feeling like strangers. In this episode of the Dr. Wyatt Marriage Podcast I cover what causes the dry spell, how the dry spells of intimacy can create trauma, how the dry spells create risk, and how to fix the dry spells. Hope you find it helpful!

Today we're talking about something that a lot of men won't admit, but a lot of women quietly suffer through: living with an anxious husband. And yes, I'm going to make fun of us a little.This video is a tongue-in-cheek “instruction manual” for how to care for the anxious, approval-seeking, reassurance-addicted man. The guy who needs constant validation, panics at every text message pause, reads every word you say like a legal document, and assumes you're leaving him if you're quiet for more than 30 seconds.It's funny… but it's also painfully accurate.The point of this episode isn't to shame anxious guys. It's to shine a big bright spotlight on the behaviors that slowly choke the life out of a relationship. And more importantly, to show that these patterns aren't permanent. You can fix this. You can rebuild your confidence, your identity, and your internal leadership as a man.If this video hits a little close to home, that's good. It means you're ready for change.

In this episode, Dr. Rena Malik, MD and sex and relationship coach Keeley Rankin discuss navigating sexless marriages, overcoming shame and communication barriers around intimacy, and the impact of modern technology—including porn and AI—on relationships. They offer practical advice for couples struggling with mismatched sexual desires, explore healthy ways to handle jealousy and insecurity, and emphasize the importance of ongoing, open conversations about pleasure and connection. Listeners will walk away with compassionate insights on fostering intimacy and adapting to changes in sexual dynamics over the course of a relationship. Become a Member to Receive Exclusive Content: renamalik.supercast.com Schedule an appointment with me: https://www.renamalikmd.com/appointments ▶️Chapters: 00:00 Sexless marriage: first steps 02:21 Exploring solo sex/outsourcing 03:29 Stressors and low desire 05:12 Navigating shifting attraction 06:06 Ongoing sex conversations 07:09 Porn, sex toys, insecurity 10:00 Addressing porn jealousy 13:24 Balanced sexuality model 14:41 AI, fantasy, and intimacy 17:36 Loneliness, AI, and connection Don't forget to check out  Try Creatone https://tonetoday.com get 20% OFF with discount code: RENA Keeley is giving you an exclusive 20% off for a full month—don't miss it! 20% off discount code is: rena20 on her courses at https://www.keeleyrankin.com Stay connected with Keeley Rankin on social media for daily insights and updates. Don't miss out—follow her now and check out these links! INSTAGRAM - https://www.instagram.com/keeleyrankinintimacycoach/ TIKTOK - https://www.tiktok.com/@keeleyrankinsexcoach?_t=8Wc4J6pGCcQ&_r=1 YOUTUBE - https://m.youtube.com/c/keeleyrankin WEBSITE - www.keeleyrankin.com Let's Connect!: WEBSITE: http://www.renamalikmd.com YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/@RenaMalikMD INSTAGRAM: http://www.instagram.com/RenaMalikMD TWITTER: http://twitter.com/RenaMalikMD FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/RenaMalikMD/ LINKEDIN: https://www.linkedin.com/in/renadmalik PINTEREST: https://www.pinterest.com/renamalikmd/ TIKTOK: https://www.tiktok.com/RenaMalikMD ------------------------------------------------------ DISCLAIMER: This podcast is purely educational and does not constitute medical advice. The content of this podcast is my personal opinion, and not that of my employer(s). Use of this information is at your own risk. Rena Malik, M.D. will not assume any liability for any direct or indirect losses or damages that may result from the use of information contained in this podcast including but not limited to economic loss, injury, illness or death. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Rejection hits some men harder than others. For a lot of guys, it's not just discomfort—it feels like danger. One cold look from your wife. One delayed text. One “Can we talk later?” from your boss. Suddenly you're spiraling, apologizing, chasing, overreacting, or completely shutting down.This isn't weakness. It isn't you being dramatic.It's rejection sensitivity—and most men who grew up in chaotic, unpredictable, or emotionally unstable homes are living with it without ever knowing what it's called.In this episode, I'll break down:— Why some men live relationships on “hard mode” — How your childhood wired your brain to scan for danger — Why neutral things feel like personal attacks — Why you over-apologize, over-explain, and overreact — How rejection sensitivity contributes to sexless marriages — Why anxious men attract avoidant or narcissistic partners — And, most importantly, what you can do to rewire thisIf you're neurodivergent (ADHD, autism, etc.), this is going to make even more sense. RSD (rejection sensitive dysphoria) is something I see constantly in men in my audience and inside The Brotherhood.You're not broken. You're trained. And you can retrain yourself.If you want deeper work on this, my book REBUILD and our Brotherhood community are powerful tools to help you break out of this pattern and build confidence, boundaries, and emotional stability.► Get my book REBUILD on Amazon (hardcover, Kindle, or audiobook for members): https://a.co/d/e6KBqYE► Join The Brotherhood – private men's community, daily Zoom groups, 1,300+ hours of audio, coaching, and more: https://helpformen.com/join

A lot of men struggle with the realization that they don't actually have full control over how life or their marriage turns out. You can do everything “right”—be faithful, provide, stay fit, treat her well—and still end up rejected, divorced, or alone.In this episode, I talk about why that happens, and why it's not a sign that you failed. Life isn't fair… and that includes relationships. I also share a real message from a man dealing with a sexless, disconnected marriage due to his wife's ADHD and perimenopause, and we unpack what's really going on beneath the surface.If this hits close to home, you're not alone. Join The Brotherhood — a private support community for men struggling in marriage, divorce, or dating after divorce.

Text us your questions or topics for the show! We got you!Cass Morrow, Author of Disrupting Divorce: The NEW Man. Saving Struggling, Sexless, and Toxic Marriages.Kathryn Morrow, Author of Behind The White Picket Fence.When is divorce actually permitted for Christians?In this episode of The NEW Marriage Podcast, we answer one of the most searched — and misunderstood — questions in Christian marriage: Is divorce ever biblically justified?But this conversation goes deeper than religion.We talk about:The integrity of marriage vowsWhy modern culture treats marriage as disposableThe difference between safety, separation, and quittingWhy “trying” isn't the same as doing the workHow responsibility, leadership, and growth save marriagesWhether you're Christian, questioning faith, or simply struggling in your marriage, this episode challenges the idea that divorce is the solution when things get hard.This episode is for you if:You're asking if divorce is biblically allowedYou feel disconnected, disrespected, or stuckYou're tired of surface-level marriage adviceYou want truth, accountability, and real transformationMarriage was never meant to be disposable.This episode will challenge your beliefs — and call you higher.

In this episode, we explore the many reasons men may avoid sexual intimacy. Challenging the myth of the "always-ready" husband, this episode explores the physical, psychological, relational, and religious factors that shape male sexuality. We discuss she impact of sexual guilt, shame, performance anxiety and trauma on sexual motivation and function, and offer guidelines for reconnection with compassion and understanding.  

"REBUILD: The Complete Guide to Starting Over as a Man" is now available in audiobook format! Here is a quick sample for you to enjoy. Want to hear more? Check out the links below:Amazon: https://a.co/d/0k5nxmvAudible: https://www.audible.com/pd/B0G75ZH84YApple: https://apple.co/45eKbNh

I recently read a New York Times article claiming that women under socialism had more sex and better orgasms than women in capitalist Western countries. Sounds wild, right?But when you dig deeper, the real message is actually something I talk about all the time:Women shut down sexually when their lives are full of stress, chaos, financial pressure, and mental overload.This has nothing to do with politics — and everything to do with the realities couples face today.If you need a deeper dive into this, grab my book The Dead Bedroom Fix — and if you're ready to actually change your life, join The Brotherhood at https://helpformen.com/join

In this replay from Season 1 Episode 9 of the 2 Be Better Podcast, Chris and Peaches tackle the real side of traditional marriage, trauma, and mental health with raw, unfiltered honesty. They respond to criticism about their appearance, talk openly about troubled pasts, depression, suicidal thoughts, and why they choose to show up for “the broken” instead of trying to impress people who already have perfect-looking lives. You'll hear powerful conversations about validation, why feelings are information and not weakness, why suffering in silence destroys people, and how a single moment of listening and empathy can literally save a life. This episode is for anyone searching for real talk on healing, self-worth, faith, and taking ownership of your life instead of staying stuck in victim mentality.They also dive deep into sex and intimacy in marriage, including high vs low libido, sexless marriages, weaponized intimacy, nagging, and what it really means to be a stay-at-home wife in a traditional, faith-centered relationship. You'll hear coaching around lazy partners who won't work, setting timelines for change, financial stress, postpartum depression and creative burnout, grief after losing a parent, and how to let your husband lead in finances without losing your strength as a woman. Expect straight-forward marriage advice, practical communication tools, real examples from listener emails, and tough-love guidance on boundaries, leadership, submission, respect, and rebuilding attraction in your relationship.Disclaimer: We are not professionals. This podcast is opinioned based and from life experience. This is for entertainment purposes only. Opinions helped by our guests may not reflect our own. But we love a good conversation.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/2-be-better--5828421/support.

Send us a textWhy does desire fade—and how do we get it back? In this episode, we sit down with Athena Gayle, Sex Expert at Arya, to explore how long-term couples can revive intimacy, increase desire, and communicate needs without awkwardness or pressure. We unpack how to escape “roommate mode,” redefine sex as connection instead of performance, and try simple, low-pressure practices that build real desire over time.In this episode, we discuss: • why routine kills desire in long-term relationships • rebuilding intimacy with touch, play & presence • using skin-to-skin hugs & shower embraces • yes–no–maybe lists for aligned desires • safe ways to ask for fantasies or kinks • how Arya's curated Scenes reduce mental load • audio erotica, prompts & erotic personas • planning sex without losing spontaneity • approaching threesomes, consent & boundaries • exploring roleplay & dominance safely • using AI tools to build connection & confidenceAthena also explains how Arya's intimacy platform helps couples initiate closeness, spark novelty, and communicate needs with clarity and confidence.Whether you're seeking more closeness, more novelty, or just less pressure in the bedroom, this conversation offers real, usable practices that deepen desire and connection.Find Athena / Arya Instagram: @arya.fyi Website: www.arya.fyi Buzzsprout - Let's get your podcast launched!Start for FREEDisclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.Support the show

Today we're digging into something wild: how a guy who talks about masculinity, strength, and “doing it right” completely lost his cool when his own story was challenged. That guy is Andrew Wilson.If you're rebuilding your life, your identity, or trying to walk the line of integrity after a setback—I promise you: this matters.We'll cover:Who Andrew Wilson is and what he representsThe “rulebook” many men in the debate/manosphere space are handed (never date a single mom, don't be a step-dad)The viral meltdown: what triggered it, what it revealsAnd most importantly: the real takeaways for you, the man rebuilding (not just surviving)My latest book: https://readrebuild.com

Are you afraid of being trapped in a sexless marriage? Does your partner treat sex like it's just another chore? And what are the ways you're killing your sex life without even knowing it? Today Alyson and I discuss sex — or the lack of sex — in long term relationships. We identify some of the ways we unconsciously kill attraction, what might truly be in the way, and why avoiding the issue just makes it worse.   https://www.thenewmanpodcast.com/2025/11/sexless-marriage   COACHING   → To learn more about coaching with Tripp Lanier visit https://TrippLanier.com → To learn more about working with Alyson Lanier visit https://AlysonLanier.com   BOOK   → We live in a world with more possibilities than ever before. So why do most men settle for lackluster, cookie-cutter lives that leave them feeling stuck, drained, and uninspired? _This Book Will Make You Dangerous_ is a guide for the rare, few men who refuse to sleepwalk through life. → Visit https://TrippLanier.com/book

Text us your questions or topics for the show! We got you!Cass Morrow, Author of Disrupting Divorce: The NEW Man. Saving Struggling, Sexless, and Toxic Marriages.Kathryn Morrow, Author of Behind The White Picket Fence.Why Men's Need for Sex Can Destroy Intimacy?We've all heard that men “need sex,” but no one talks about what happens when that need starts to destroy connection.In this episode, Cass and Kathryn dive deep into how unmet needs, pressure, and emotional avoidance can quietly erode intimacy. This isn't about blame — it's about understanding what healthy desire really looks like in a thriving marriage.

Most guys in sexless marriages miss the most important piece of the puzzle. They think if they just get their wife to “want it” again, everything will go back to normal. But what if the truth goes all the way back to the beginning — before the wedding, before the kids — to whether the two of you were even matched in the first place?In this episode, I break down one of the biggest overlooked truths about dead bedrooms. We'll talk about:Why early sexual chemistry predicts long-term compatibilityWhy “good but not great” in your 20s often turns into “nonexistent” in your 30sThe biological reality of desire, novelty, and Mother Nature's cruel trickWhat it really means when your wife seems disinterested now but sexual after divorceHow to avoid this mistake in your next relationshipIf this topic hits home, check out The Dead Bedroom Fix at https://deadbedroomfix.com — and join our private men's community, The Brotherhood, at https://helpformen.com/join.

What happens when a psychologist in a 25-year sexless marriage decides she's done living without desire?This week,Dr. Alisa Kriegel joins Elle and Vee to share her raw, transformative journey from disconnection to deep erotic empowerment — the story behind her upcoming memoir From Sexless Marriage to Sex Goddess.We talk about:How up to 40% of marriages are sexless — and why no one wants to admit itThe power of communication, curiosity, and skin-to-skin contact in rekindling intimacyHow understanding your body's changes (tilted uterus, menopause, hormones — all of it) leads to better sexThe truth about genital fit and why “one size fits all” is a mythThe healing that comes when you finally feel desired againUsing dating and non-monogamy as tools for self-discovery and growthWhy becoming a “sex goddess” is about owning your body, your boundaries, and your pleasureDr. Kriegel breaks down the emotional, physical, and spiritual sides of erotic awakening — from painful intercourse to passionate play, from shame to self-love, from wife to woman fully embodied.If you've ever felt disconnected from your desire, trapped in routine, or unsure how to find your way back to pleasure — this episode will remind you that it's never too late to reclaim your erotic energy.CHAPTERSIntroduction to Alisa Kriegel (00:00)Sexlessness in Relationships: How It's defined (3:46)The Importance of Prioritizing Intimacy (5:37)Navigating a Sexless Marriage (14:47)The Journey to Self-Discovery through Online Dating and into Swinging (19:43)The Worst First Date One Night Stand Experience (25:11)Below Average, Average and Slightly Above Average Cocks (27:30)What is Genital Fit? From the Kama Sutra (30:41)Understanding Body Changes and Sexuality (32:41)Sex First Mentality (36:40)What is a Sex Goddess (39:06) Using Dating to Learn Revelations Desire and the False Emotional Protection of Dating Men In Relationships  (47:36)Men Love Pussy (56:20)Can Someone Else's Orgasm Trigger Your Orgasm Without Any Manual Stimulation? (59:53)Created a List for a Relationship Blueprint: Manifesting Your Partner And Surrendering to Fear and Vulnerability (01:03:32)The Problem with Traditional Dating (01:07:18)

In this episode, I discuss what a sexless marriage is and why women want it.

Some experts estimate that ~15% of marriages are sexless, while others put the number as high as 33% ("sexless relationship" defined as a couple having sex 10 times a year or fewer).That's a lot of people.Now let's talk about the stakes:Does a sexless marriage generally mean a less fulfilling one? In a word, yes. According to researcher and associate professor Denis Donnelly in the New York Times, "Happy couples have more sex, and the more sex a couple has, the happier they report being." Plus, her research showed that folks in sexless marriages were more likely to have considered divorce than those in sexually active ones.So what do you do if you're in this position? How do you handle being in a sexless relationship or sexless marriage? Can you bring the sex back in -- repolarize the relationship? Here, we work on answering questions like: "How do I bring up sex with my wife?" -- in Jason's words, “A lot of guys don't know where to start because they don't know where it's coming from.”And, "What do I do if my wife doesn't want to have sex with me?" -- or how to handle the sense that when she does, it's more of her feeling like "this is a thing I have to do for you to get you off my back."It's a tender, vulnerable, and important subject. Let's dive in.---Work with usReady to go deeper than the podcast and take action? Jason and I can help you break old patterns and transform your sex & love life for good. To see if you're a fit for our flagship program, Pillars of Presence, book a call here. Start anytime. (https://evolutionary.men/apply/)---Memorable quotes:“It's not just about the frequency of sex.”“My wife does give me her body, but that's it. It's a duty.”“For guys, the experience is, ‘Well, why don't I just use a sex doll?'”“Men just shut down and become resentful.”“Sex is really just a form of communication.”“‘I want to feel her wanting me, wanting sex.'”“The more sex we're having, the more sex we want to have.”“Sex is deeply entwined with our ability to open and feel connected.”---Mentioned on this episode:DM 1: What if sex hurts for her? (her insider view on being closed off sexually)DM 196: The "invisible" relationship pattern that can impact everything (emotional neglect)DM 250: How do you re-polarize a relationship?DM 222: Are you using your woman for sex?---To book a call with me to discuss Sexual Mastery, go to melaniecurtin.com/sexualmastery

In this episode, I dive into one of the hardest truths many men face after becoming fathers: the woman you married may not be the same woman after the baby arrives.For a lot of men—especially the more sensitive or anxiously attached ones—this change feels like emotional whiplash. The affection disappears, the intimacy vanishes, and suddenly you feel like a stranger in your own home. I read and discuss a real Reddit post from a man who experienced this after 20 years of marriage... and what his story reveals about millions of couples worldwide.We'll talk about:Why this shift happens biologically and emotionallyThe reality of “Wife 1.0” vs. “Wife 2.0”How men can respond without falling into resentment or despairWhat to do when your wife refuses counseling or intimacyHow anxious attachment can make this pain even worseAnd why community and brotherhood are vital for recoveryThis is a brutally honest but deeply empathetic look at one of the most misunderstood transitions in modern marriage.

00:00 - Introduction00:43 - Moving on from Cancer Conversations03:11 - Finding Purpose in Adversity05:17 - Understanding the Sexless Marriage09:38 - The Role of Sex in Marriage12:39 - Communication and Healthy Sexuality16:36 - Navigating Complex Marital Issues19:08 - Rejection: The Silent Catalyst in a Sexless Marriage23:48 - Healing Wounds: The Journey Towards Healthy Sexuality29:33 - Hopequest31:08 - Loneliness in Marriage: A Lack of Relational Intimacy33:34 - Porn Use: Fueling the Sexless Marriage38:42 - "We're Designed to Point Our Sexuality Solely at Our Spouse"40:22 - Deterioration of Communication in the Marriage45:03 - The Broader Implications of a Sexless Marriage#IntimacyMatters #RelationshipGrowth #MarriageInsights #PersonalGrowth #EmotionalConnection #OvercomingChallenges #NewBeginnings #CommunicationMatters  #MarriageDynamics #Rejection #Recovery #LonelinessInMarriage #PodcastEpisode #RelationshipAdvice #HealingJourneyKeywords: intimacy, personal growth, sexless marriage, sexual addiction, rejection, loneliness, communication, healing, relationships, reconnection To learn more about the Sex, God, & Chaos team, click the link below:www.sexgodchaos.comLooking for help? Book an appointment with LifeWorks Counseling today:www.lifeworks.msYou can purchase your copy of Sex, God, & Chaos here:www.amazon.comLink for our sponsor, Hopequest:https://hopequestgroup.org

In this special episode, I read the introduction to my latest book, REBUILD: The Complete Guide to Starting Over as a Man. This book is the culmination of over a decade of working with men—through coaching, the Brotherhood community, and my other books. REBUILD is for every man who's been knocked down by life—divorce, heartbreak, failure—and is ready to rise again stronger, wiser, and more grounded.If you've ever felt lost or unsure of your next step, this episode is the perfect place to start.

Send us a text & leave your email address if you want a reply!Does this sound familiar? You used to tear each other's clothes off. Now you're scheduling sex like dentist appointments—and still canceling. You're wondering: Is this just what happens in long-term relationships? Is the spark gone forever? What if the problem isn't your attraction, your partner, or even your sex life—but a fundamental misunderstanding of how intimacy actually works?In this episode of Sex Reimagined, we sit down with Briana Bass, a board-certified sexologist and therapist who helps high-functioning couples transform their intimacy. After climbing the corporate ladder to senior vice president, Briana made a radical career change to help people solve the very problems she witnessed in boardrooms: emotional disconnection, burnout, and the slow erosion of desire in long-term relationships.EMOTIONALLY FOCUSED THERAPY FOR HIGH ACHIEVERSWhy Type A personalities struggle with emotional intimacyThe powerful questioning technique that breaks through intellectual wallsHow to help partners who say "I don't feel anything" access their emotionsRECOVERING FROM INFIDELITYHow to hold space for both the betrayed and the betrayerBoundary-setting conversations that rebuild trustUnderstanding the "origin story" behind cheatingLINKS & RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THE EPISODE CAN BE FOUND ON THE WEBSITELAST 10x LONGER. If you suffer from premature ejaculation, you are not alone, master 5 techniques to cure this stressful & embarrassing issue once and for all. Save 20% Coupon: PODCAST20. THE VAGINAL ORGASM MASTERCLASS. Discover how to activate the female Gspot, clitoris, & cervical orgasms. Save 20% Coupon: PODCAST 20Support the show FREEBIE- Introduction to Tantric Kissing Video and Workbook SxR Website Dr. Willow's Website Leah's Website

Text us your questions or topics for the show! We got you!Cass Morrow, Author of Disrupting Divorce: The NEW Man. Saving Struggling, Sexless, and Toxic Marriages.Kathryn Morrow, Author of Behind The White Picket Fence.Sexless Marriage vs. Emotional Distance — What Hurts More?Is a sexless marriage really the biggest issue—or is emotional disconnection the real pain point? In this episode of The 'NEW' Marriage, Cass and Kathryn dive deep into what happens when physical intimacy fades but emotional connection is gone too. They unpack why some couples stay “together but distant,” how emotional neglect often precedes a sexless marriage, and what to do when you crave closeness but can't find it.

Why and how does the frequency of sex decrease in a marriage to the point where it rarely happens? Join sex therapist and author Laurie Watson and couples therapist Dr. Adam Mathews as they dissect the genesis of a sexless marriage. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, I share a powerful story from a listener who has lived through 17 years of marital chaos. On paper, he's a hardworking, successful man—a career in medicine, a thriving real estate business, and five kids. But behind the scenes, his marriage has been a war zone: false accusations, secret fertility treatments, volatility, and finally his wife moving three hours away with the children.In the middle of all this, he admits he lost himself—turning to affairs and even escorting—becoming a man he barely recognizes. Now, with his teenage daughter reaching out about her mother's abuse, he's finally facing the truth and taking steps to fight for custody.This is a raw reminder that living in dysfunction doesn't make you stronger—it makes you weaker. If you're in chaos, you need to draw the line before you lose everything, including yourself.Submit your own story: deardso.comJoin the HFM Brotherhood today!

I dive deep into what really happens to men in a sexless marriage — emotionally, psychologically, and biologically. I break down why rejection cuts so deeply, how it impacts a man's confidence and identity, and what couples can do to rebuild trust, safety, and intimacy. Whether you're in a relationship that's lost its spark or trying to understand your partner better, this conversation offers a roadmap back to connection.SHOW HIGHLIGHTS00:00 – Why a sexless marriage hurts men02:53 – Rejection and the male nervous system05:25 – Hormonal and emotional fallout10:32 – When sex becomes a bargaining chip13:15 – Resentment and emotional withdrawal17:03 – How to start rebuilding intimacy22:54 – Practical steps for reconnection28:29 – Co-creating a new vision for your sex life31:06 – Final reflections and takeaways***Tired of feeling like you're never enough? Build your self-worth with help from this free guide: https://training.mantalks.com/self-worthPick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/Heard about attachment but don't know where to start? Try the FREE Ultimate Guide To AttachmentCheck out some other free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your RelationshipBuild brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance. Enjoy the podcast? Leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they're looking for. And don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | SpotifyFor more, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram

In this conversation, Sathiya and Kyle discuss the often-taboo subject of sex within Christianity, exploring the reasons behind the fear of discussing it openly. They delve into the impact of purity culture, the importance of viewing sex as a gift from God, and the necessity of selflessness in sexual relationships. Kyle shares the origins of Kingdom Sexuality, emphasizing the need for healthy conversations about sex and the role of spouses in fostering communication. They also address challenges such as sexless marriages and offer insights on how to spice up intimacy in a biblical context. The discussion concludes with thoughts on the future of sexual conversations in the church and the importance of creating safe spaces for these discussions.   Join Deep Clean Inner Circle – The Brotherhood You Need (+ get coached by Sathiya) For Less Than $2/day   Know more about Kyle and Kingdom Sexuality: Access Their Website Follow Kingdom Sexuality on Instagram Listen to their Podcast    Know more about Sathiya's work: Submit Your Questions (Anonymously) To Be Answered On The Podcast Get A Free Copy of The Last Relapse, Your Blueprint For Recovery Watch Sathiya on Youtube For More Content Like This   Chapters: (00:00) Introduction to Kingdom Sexuality and Its Mission (03:11) The Fear of Discussing Sex in Christianity (06:07) Reconstructing a Biblical Framework for Sex (08:57) The Importance of Selflessness in Sexual Relationships (11:47) The Origins of Kingdom Sexuality (15:00) Navigating Boundaries in Conversations About Sex (27:13) Involvement of Spouses in the Podcast (30:26) Facilitating Conversations About Sex (32:49) The Role of Communication in Marriage (35:37) Guidelines for Trying New Things (39:29) Navigating Personal Convictions (42:50) Addressing a Sexless Marriage (44:48) Spicing Things Up in the Bedroom (49:58) The Role of the Church in Sexual Conversations

How can you get the spark back in your sexless marriage? Well Susan Morgan Taylor called in to explain how. Tune in to hear her discuss the different reasons why couples wind up in a sexless marriage, how men and women are different when it comes to sex and how and why it's important to understand where the other is coming from, your “erotic blueprint” and why it's important to know what both you and your partners blueprint, how to bring up getting help if you're in a sexless marriage and what to do if you're partner isn't interested in getting help, how and why it's scary to bring up what you want in the bedroom but how doing it can change the game, the difference between making requests vs expressing your desires when it comes to opening up about sex, the pleasure keys process she created and how it helps couples to clear out baggage so they can eventually get to start having better sex plus a whole lot more. YOU CAN FIND SUSAN'S CLASSES HERE: https://www.pathwaytopleasure.com **To see HOT pics of my female guests + hear anonymous confessions + get all the episodes early and AD FREE, join my Patreon! It's only $7 a month and you can cancel at any time. You can sign up here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and when you join, I'll throw in a complimentary link to my private Discord! MY BOOK IS NOW OUT FOR PRE-ORDER!!!! Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. A bunch of short, super sexy, TRUE stories. GET YOUR COPY NOW: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠   To join SDC and get a FREE Trial! click here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.sdc.com/?ref=37712⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ or go to SDC.com and use my code 37712   Want to be on the show? Email me at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠strictlyanonymouspodcast@gmail.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ or go to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and click on "Be on the Show" Have something quick you want to confess while remaining anonymous? Call the CONFESSIONS hotline at 347-420-3579. You can call 24/7. All voices are changed.   Sponsors:  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://vb.health⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ To get 10% off Drive Boost by VB Health use code: STRICTLY ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://beducate.me/pd2528-anonymous⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Use code: ANONYMOUS to get 50% off your yearly pass plus get a 14-day money-back guarantee ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://uberlube.com/discount/Strictly⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Use code: STRICTLY for 10% off Uberlube aka the BEST Lube EVER ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bluechew.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Get your first month of the new Blewchew Max FREE! use code: STRICTLYANON ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://butterwellness.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Use the code “STRICTLY” at checkout for 20% off your entire order To get $15 OFF your female oxytocin arousal tablets and more, use code STRICTLY here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://shamelesscare.sjv.io/xLQ3Jv⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow me! Instagram ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Twitter ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

269. Questions for More Connection and Laughter in Marriage with Casey and Meygan Caston   *Disclaimer* This episode contains some mature themes and listener discretion is advised.   2 Corinthians 1:4 NIRV "He comforts us in all our troubles. Now we can comfort others when they are in trouble. We ourselves receive comfort from God."   *Transcript Below*   Questions and Topics We Cover: Will you share three of the questions from your most recent book, specifically the ones people have told you unlocked the best conversations in their own marriage? You say you're an unlikely couple to help support marriages. Will you share a glimpse of your own backstory? What are a handful of ideas for ways couples can strengthen their connection with one another?   Casey and Meygan Caston are the Co-Founders of Marriage365. Casey and Meygan were perfect examples of what not to do in marriage. Three years into marriage, they found themselves having racked up more than $250,000 in debt, fighting constantly, and were ready to call it quits. Despite the 12 failed marriages between their parents, they knew this wasn't the legacy they wanted for themselves or their children. They began reading and educating themselves on how to do marriage the right way. The result of their journey is Marriage365, where they millions of people worldwide through their books, social media, retreats, and their online streaming service, Marriage365.   Marriage 365 Website Marriage 365 App Marriage 365 Books Marriage 365 Coaching   Thank You to Our Sponsor: WinShape Marriage   Sample of Previous Episodes on Sexual Intimacy on The Savvy Sauce: 4 Fostering a Fun, Healthy Sex Life With Your Spouse With Certified Sex Therapist and Author, Dr. Jennifer Konzen 5 Ways to Deepen Your Intimacy in Marriage with Dr. Douglas Rosenau  6 Ten Common Questions About Sex, Shared Through a Biblical Worldview with Dr. Michael Sytsma 89 Passion Pursuit with Dr. Juli Slattery 108 Anatomy of an Affair with Dave Carder 135 Healthy Ways for Females to Increase Sexual Enjoyment with Tracey LeGrand 155 Sex in Marriage and Its Positive Effects with Francie Winslow, Part 1 156 Science and Art of Sexual Intimacy in Marriage, Part 2 158 Making Love in Marriage with Debra Fileta 165 Mutually Pleasing Sex in Marriage with Gary Thomas 186 Sex Series: Enhancing Female Pleasure and Enjoyment of Sex: An Interview with Dr. Jennifer Degler 218 Secrets of Sex and Marriage: An Interview with Dr. Michael Sytsma Special Patreon Release: Protecting Your Marriage Against Unfaithfulness with Dave Carder 252 Maximizing Sexual Connection as Newlyweds to Long Term Marriages and Recovering from a Sexless Marriage with Dr. Clifford & Joyce Penner   Connect with The Savvy Sauce on Facebook, Instagram or Our Website   Please help us out by sharing this episode with a friend, leaving a 5-star rating and review, and subscribing to this podcast!   Gospel Scripture: (all NIV)   Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”   Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”   Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.”    Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.”    Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”    Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.”    John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”   Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”    Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”   Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”   Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God's possession- to the praise of his glory.”   Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.”   Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“   Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“   Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”   *Transcript*   Music: (0:00 – 0:11)   Laura Dugger: (0:12 - 1:15)  Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, where we have practical chats for intentional living. I'm your host, Laura Dugger, and I'm so glad you're here.    Today's message is not intended for little ears. We'll be discussing some adult themes, and I want you to be aware before you listen to this message.    I'm thrilled to introduce you to our sponsor, WinShape Marriage. Their weekend marriage retreats will strengthen your marriage while you enjoy the gorgeous setting, delicious food, and quality time with your spouse.   To find out more, visit them online at winshapemarriage.org.    Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, Casey and Meygan.   Casey Caston:  Thanks for having us. Excited to be here.   Laura Dugger: So, thrilled to have both of you, and let's just dive right into one of your sweet spots. How can open-ended questions change a marriage?   Casey Caston: (1:16 - 2:33)  Yeah, well, if you think about when we first met somebody that we fell in love with, fell attracted to that first date, as you're sitting across the table, you are looking at that person with so much curiosity. Like, who is this person? What are their hopes and their dreams and their life experiences?   What are they afraid of? Where are they going in life? And that curiosity drove us to ask really good open-ended questions.   Like, tell me more about yourself. It's funny because we were just reading in Proverbs this morning that in a man's heart, he has a purpose, but a man of understanding draws from the deep wells to pull that out. And I just, I always think about how a great question plums the deep wells of a man's heart or woman's heart.   And that attraction, that energy we feel, helps us with asking great questions. But then what happens is when we get married and we move into the wash, rinse, repeat of childcare and chores and, you know, the mundaneness of going to work, coming home, dinner, like, it can really sap all of the romance out of a relationship. And so, what happens is we fall into asking really boring questions.   Meygan Caston: (2:33 - 2:34)  Like, how was your day?   Casey Caston: (2:34 - 2:36)  What's picking up the kids?   Meygan Caston: (2:36 - 2:37)  What's for dinner? Yeah.   Casey Caston: (2:38 - 3:18)  So, we realize that when the well is dry, so to speak, you're not asking those great questions. We need prompts. We need an outside prompt because I don't think naturally we would ask great questions to spark this, you know, connecting conversation.   And I will tell you too, that if you just dropped in and, you know, just ask your spouse, like, “Hey, so, tell me some boundaries we need to set up with your parents.” People are going to be like, “Excuse me, where did that question come from? And what's the question behind the question?   What's your motivation here?” But those are conversations we need to have. We just need prompts.   So, yeah.   Laura Dugger: (3:19 - 3:32)  Well, I love that response. And I'm also curious after working with so many married couples, what have you seen as that connection between these amazing prompts for open-ended questions and emotional intimacy?   Meygan Caston: (3:34 - 4:20)  Yeah. Well, kind of like what Casey was mentioning about, um, just that curiosity of getting to know each other. I think the other part of asking those open-ended questions and having these deeper conversations is really about intentionality.   Like you still care about me. You still want to know about my heart. Well, for us, 25 years later, I still care about you.   I still love you. And I think that of course, as women, we long for that emotional connection. And I don't think that men realize it, but they actually long for that too.   And it's creating a safe place for spouses to share, to cry, to even, um, dream together about their future. And I think, again, if we don't give ourselves those opportunities and we're not intentional with that, we get stuck in the mundaneness of marriage.   Casey Caston: (4:20 - 5:03)  But, uh, and I would add to that, that curiosity, Meygan, I've talked about how curiosity is the pursuit of something. Right. And we all long to be desired to be pursued.   I mean, that is, that underlying communication is so powerful in relationships, because if you think about it, if you're not being pursued and your spouse isn't curious, I mean, that's like the, the heart of apathy. It's like, I don't care. And I know that people aren't intentionally trying to communicate that, but when you feel that, like my spouse doesn't really care about what I dream about or what I'm hoping to achieve this year, they just come home and they just watch TV or they're on their phone.   Meygan Caston: (5:04 - 5:18)  Right. That communicates a lot non-verbally. And so, that's why these open-ended questions are something that we should never stop being a learner of each other and of ourselves.   And that will provide that emotional intimacy.   Laura Dugger: (5:19 - 5:45)  That's so good. And obviously your resources are amazing. I would love, because you have these 365 Connecting Questions for Couples.   And so, I want to just hear maybe three of these questions that come to mind for you guys, especially as you've heard, these are the ones that tend to unlock something deeper in the conversation.   Meygan Caston: (5:46 - 6:07)  Absolutely. So, August 3rd is, are you someone who spends a lot of time in deep thought, processing things before making a decision, or do you tend to make quick decisions? Why or why not?   That question has genuinely sparked so much conversation between us and even like with our kids and other couples. Maybe you can explain why.   Casey Caston: (6:07 - 6:11)  Yeah. Well, I'm Mr. Impulsivity, so.   Meygan Caston: (6:11 - 6:29)  Yeah, you are. Where I, I don't, I wouldn't consider myself a deep thinker, but I definitely like to make pros and cons lists and think through things. But if you think about a dynamic between a husband and a wife, you know, there are so many decisions that you make together, small and large, your whole life, every day.   Casey Caston: (6:29 - 6:30)  Decision-making is huge in relationships.   Meygan Caston: (6:31 - 6:57)  And it's an everyday thing that couples are tackling. And it's important to know that no one is better than the other. It's not that a deep thinker is better than a more impulsive person. It's kind of more just naturally how you are. Have you always been this way? Do you like that about yourself?   Wow. You know, well, when it comes to these bigger decisions, I do spend, make more time, you know, thinking through and pros and cons. Oh, well, with small decisions, I'm more impulsive. I mean, you could just talk about that for hours and hours.   Casey Caston: (6:57 - 7:01) Yeah. But what's interesting is I tend to think more futuristic and big picture.   Meygan Caston: (7:01 - 7:01)  Yes.   Casey Caston: (7:01 - 7:03)  Even though I'm impulsive in the moment.   Meygan Caston: (7:03 - 7:05)  And I cannot, I can't do that.   Casey Caston: (7:05 - 7:06)  You are Ms. Realist.   Meygan Caston: (7:06 - 7:08)  Just tell me today, tell me this week.   Casey Caston: (7:09 - 7:10)  I can't think about this fun sponge.   Meygan Caston: (7:11 - 7:11)  Yes. Yeah.   Casey Caston: (7:12 - 7:15)  Because I'm like, let's dream big. And she's like, yeah, but what's happening today?   Meygan Caston: (7:16 - 7:49)  Yeah. Yeah. Another great question is January 18th.   How can we romance each other during the day in anticipation of sex? Because as we all know, us ladies, we need the foreplay. But again, I think that husbands also enjoy the foreplay.   But I don't think that couples are having these conversations. I think they think a foreplay is, well, once we enter into the bedroom, you know, and what we like to say is it's anything positive is foreplay. So, a thoughtful text, you know, a flirty I'm going to grab your hand to empty out the dishwasher.   Casey Caston: (7:49 - 7:50)  Amen.   Meygan Caston: (7:50 - 7:55)  Yeah. You know, it's those kinds of conversations. But like, I would never think of asking you that.   Casey Caston: (7:56 - 7:56)  Right.   Meygan Caston: (7:56 - 7:58)  Right. Thankfully for those.   Casey Caston: (7:58 - 8:10)  But as you know, Laura, like couples that need to talk about their sex life. And if you don't talk about your sex life, most oftentimes there's a lot of assumptions. And that leads to, you know, dysfunction.   Meygan Caston: (8:11 - 9:14)  Well, and missed expectations. Totally. Yeah. And then I have another question. April 25th is how do our differences help complement each other?   Oh, so, kind of another one of those things, like with making decisions. Every single couple has differences. And we always tell people Casey, and I are more different than alike.   I think people see us online and whatnot. And they hear, oh, we're both extroverts. We are. So, we have some similarities. We're both stubborn, very competitive, both competitive. But in the day-to-day operations of who Casey and Meygan are, we make decisions, we run our lives, run our business, run our business.   We are completely opposite. And what I think it's good to do for couples is to actually own your differences rather than shy away from them or make yourselves feel bad, like, oh, I wish we were the same. I get it.   You know, we actually are attracted to those things when we're dating. That's why opposites attract. But then when we get married, it's like, why doesn't he do everything the same way? I do it because I do it the right way. That's what we think. Right.   Casey Caston: (9:15 - 9:21)  Well, you heard the joke that marriage is about becoming one. And in the earlier years, it's about which one.   Meygan Caston: (9:21 - 10:14)  Yeah. Which one? Which figure out?   Yeah. And so, that question really allows you to identify your differences, but then go, how do they balance each other out? And I think for me, as someone who is organized, type A Casey's very spontaneous.   If we were both type A and structured, we wouldn't have a lot of fun. We really wouldn't. His spontaneity really brings out that side of me.   But if we were both spontaneous, our bills would never be paid, and we'd be broke. So, you know, I'm a I'm a saver. He's a spender.   You can see the balance in that. It's good that we're both those things. Right.   I'm on time. He's late. We could continue going on and on and on and on.   But I think that he's a risk taker. I'm a complete play it safer. And so, those really draw out a beautiful balance in our marriage versus trying to change one another.   So, I hope that question sparks listeners to really ask your spouse that and have fun with the conversation.   Laura Dugger: (10:15 - 11:03)  Well, you chose three great ones. I love it. And they draw out such different parts of our personality.   You highlighted where Casey's more futuristic. Meygan, you're more present. Some people will connect with questions that direct them more past oriented.   And so, our orientation to time comes out and the meta conversations, the talking like having the conversation about your conversation. Just so much goodness. And yes, especially with sexual intimacy.   So, many couples report that it is much harder to engage in conversation about sex rather than just have sex. And like you said, missed expectations can be one of the blow ups there, among many other things. So, you have questions that don't shy away from all forms of intimacy.   Meygan Caston: (11:04 - 11:10)  Yeah. And to also say we have a lot of fun questions, too. Like, tell me about what your bedroom looked like when you were a teenager.   Casey Caston: (11:11 - 11:12)  That's a great one. I love that one.   Meygan Caston: (11:12 - 11:47)  Let's talk couples. If you had a really hard day with the kids or at work, pick a fun question. You don't have to go by the date.   If you don't like the question, it's triggering, then flip to the next one. But going back to that emotional intimacy and connection that you were talking about, Laura, is you have to have those deep questions and those conversations. And you did when you were dating, because if you went on a date with your husband and you were like, hey, tell me, you know, what do you want to do when you retire?   And he was like, I don't know. Yeah, you'd be like snooze fest. This guy's boring, right?   Or if he was on his phone the whole time, there was something intriguing about your spouse.   Casey Caston: (11:47 - 11:48)  I don't know. I don't know.   Meygan Caston: (11:48 - 12:01)  Yeah, there was something intriguing about your spouse when you were dating and you were asking those questions that should never stop. Just like we hear that quote, never stop dating your spouse. Well, never stop learning about your spouse.   It's the same thing. Absolutely.   Laura Dugger: (12:02 - 12:16)  And I love how you two have such a humble approach because you say that you're a very unlikely couple to help support marriages. So, will you let us in on your own backstory?   Meygan Caston: (12:17 - 12:46)  Yeah, well, can I just start off by saying this? We live in a county that has one of the highest divorce rates in the nation. So, it's 72 percent divorce rate where we live.   We also come from there's 12 marriages between our parents. So, we come from so much divorce and trauma. And then we also got married very, very, very young.   So, all those statistics were against us on top of that. I'm just going to start off by saying that. Casey Caston: (12:46 - 13:18)  Yeah, my mom's been married six times. So, when by the time I hit junior high, I had probably like nine different iterations of home life and different dads and step siblings and half brothers. And all of that between both of our parents.   There's just there's some mental illness. There's affairs. There's all this trauma that was really unprocessed.   But then when Meygan and I saw each other, it was like we knew the wounds that we shared. It was like almost like a trauma bond.   Meygan Caston: (13:19 - 13:19)  Yeah.   Casey Caston: (13:19 - 14:08)  Like, oh, I've got abandonment. So, do you. And, you know, let's do it's like, wow.   So, let's make each other happy. And dating was just all the fun stuff, right? It was long walks along the beach.   It was going to street fairs or, you know, going out and having fun. And then we're like, if this is what life could be like, then we should do this forever and ever and ever. And just, you know, we were so doe eyed of like and optimistic about how marriage life would look like.   So, then once we did get married, done, done, done, we had to like work through stuff. Now, I was so conflict avoidant because I was afraid if there was conflict, then that means that there's going to be distance between Meygan and I and she might leave me.   Meygan Caston: (14:08 - 14:24)  Oh, there's another there's another difference. I'm a fighter. He's a fighter.   So, anytime we would have conflict triggers, you know, emotional regulation, I was like, we're going to go for it. Now, of course, my fighting tactics were not healthy. I yelled. I blamed. I was very aggressive, assertive.   Casey Caston: (14:24 - 14:37)  Conflict was very scary for me. Now. Now, Meygan, she's like wanting to deal with issues. And here I am, like trying to run for the hills. And she's like, he doesn't care about me. And I'm like, I'm trying to protect the marriage by not dealing with it.   Meygan Caston: (14:37 - 14:49)  So, you never really resolved anything. We would fight really bad. We broke all the fighting rules.   And then there was no true resolve, no apologies, no remorse. And you just kind of move forward.   Casey Caston: (14:49 - 15:06)  And so, then we piled ourselves like we had over two hundred fifty thousand dollars of debt when we started to try to work on getting pregnant. We we dealt with infertility. We I have ADHD, so that creates a lot of that's fun.   A lot of fun for the marriage.   Meygan Caston: (15:06 - 15:08)  The divorce rate is very high with ADHD.   Casey Caston: (15:08 - 15:10)  My life gets to teach you patience.   Meygan Caston: (15:11 - 15:11)  Yeah.   Casey Caston: (15:12 - 16:44)  But and then we have a child with special needs as well. So, we we had like if there's something that could go wrong, it it went wrong. We had you know, once we got married, there was toxic in-laws that boundaries that were crossed.   So, it just nothing for us came easy. And so, that's why we were the least likely to succeed in marriage. I mean, if we there was a couple doomed from the get go, it was Meygan and I believe a hundred percent that God used those trials, those hardships to create marriage.   Three sixty five. He gave us the strength to, you know, have the courage to say we're not going to follow in our parents footsteps. We're going to change that.    You know, it ends with us literally like we are going to change and break this generational sin because it goes back many, many generations for both of us. Our whole family is littered with divorce. And now like when we approach marriage, it because of where we've come from, it wasn't all flowery.   It was really tough. We have to be practical and very tactical with our advice, because when you're sitting across from a couple that's angry and resentful. We have to sit there and go, we know what that's like.   And here's exactly what you need to do next. I'm not going to give you a platitude. I'm not going to give you some flowery statement or we're not going to just talk through it.    No, we're going to give you a tool and an action step that's going to help you. Laura Dugger: (16:46 - 18:56)  Let's take a quick break to hear a message from our sponsor. Friends, I'm excited to share with you today's sponsor, WinShape Marriage. Do you feel like you need a weekend away with your spouse and a chance to grow in your relationship together at the same time?    WinShape Marriage is a fantastic ministry that provides weekend marriage retreats to help couples grow closer together in every season and stage of life from premarital to parenting to the emptiness phase. There is an opportunity for you. WinShape Marriage is grounded on the belief that the strongest marriages are the ones that are nurtured, even when it seems things are going smoothly so that they're stronger if they do hit a bump along their marital journey.   These weekend retreats are hosted within the beautiful refuge of WinShape Retreat, perched in the mountains of Rome, Georgia, which is a short drive from Atlanta, Birmingham and Chattanooga. While you're there, you will be well fed, well nurtured and well cared for. During your time away in this beautiful place, you and your spouse will learn from expert speakers and explore topics related to intimacy, overcoming challenges, improving communication and more.   I've stayed on site at WinShape before, and I can attest to their generosity, food and content. You will be so grateful you went to find an experience that's right for you and your spouse. Head to their website, winshapemarriage.org/savvy. That's W-I-N-S-H-A-P-E marriage dot org slash S-A-V-V-Y. Thanks for your sponsorship.   I'd love to hear even more into the redemption part of it, because Marriage 365, you had shared before we had recorded that you launched that in 2013. So, just to get the timeline straight, had you already done some work and some counseling before you launched that?   Meygan Caston: (18:56 - 19:26)  Or what was that journey? Yeah, so, we always say we it took us two years to fall in love and get married. It took us three years to destroy our marriage, and it took about four or five years to repair our marriage.   It was, as you know, Laura, it is not a quick fix when your marriage is as bad as ours. And so, our story is unique in the sense where we were both not wanting to get help for our marriage. I love you, babe, but he was resistant.   He didn't want to go to therapy. His family didn't go to therapy. That wasn't normalized.   Casey Caston: (19:26 - 19:31)  Well, my faith background said that therapy is bad from the from the devil.   Meygan Caston: (19:31 - 19:38)  It was specifically your parents. But from the devil. Yeah, because I have a faith background, too. And my parents went to therapy. But that's what I was saying.   Casey Caston: (19:38 - 19:40)  My background was that you don't do that.   Meygan Caston: (19:40 - 21:16)  Yeah. So, I was wanting to get divorced and he wouldn't divorce me. He was like, no.   So, if you're going to do it, you got to do it. And so, I got help for myself. And I had the most amazing woman who a therapist who just walked me through basically how to save my marriage by myself.   And she goes, listen, you know, at the end of the day, if you want to make a better marriage, it starts by making a better you. You have zero control over Casey. You have 100 percent control over you.   He's not here. You are. I can show you how to communicate, how to forgive him even without getting an apology.   I can show you how to bring to his defenses down. I can show you how to create boundaries so he doesn't yell at you anymore. I mean, and that's literally for 13 months I worked on myself. And I believe that that is what genuinely changed everything. And that's really the message behind Marriage 365 is if you want to make a better marriage, it starts by making a better you. Stop waiting around for your husband or your wife to get on board.   They may never. Then you're only going to build resentment while you sit there and wait. At the end of the day, you're responsible for how you show up.   And so, in that 13 months, the hope was, of course, that I would positively influence Casey, which I did. And he saw the change in me. Everything changed.   I mean, like we both used to be yellers, right? We would both yell and scream. And I was like, I'm not going to yell anymore.   Like, I just I don't want to be a yeller of a mom. I don't want to be a yeller of a wife. Like, I don't like this part of me. My mom was a yeller. I mean, oh, yeah, I hate this. And I just remember like one day he came walking in and he was all heated and frustrated and he started yelling at me. And do you remember what I did, babe?   Casey Caston: (21:17 - 21:33)  Yeah. She looked at me and calmly said, you know, I can tell that you're very upset. I really want to have to listen to what you want to share with me.   Why don't you go outside, take a break, come back in? We're going to sit back on the couch. We can talk about it. I'm here for you. And I was like, what a change.   Meygan Caston: (21:33 - 22:07)  Who is this person? I changed the way that we did marriage. I did that.   And I tell people that I didn't do that once. I didn't do it twice. I did that for months because we had habits we had created.   But I was like, that was like a new boundary. I'm like, I'm not going to engage with him when he's angry. It's been triggered.   Nothing good is coming from this. So, it was all of that we started to really adopt and learn together because he's like, you're a different person. Like, it was obvious we were doing the tango.   And now I was doing the rumba and he was over there doing the tango. And I'm like, come join me in the healthy rumba over here because it's way better.   Casey Caston: (22:07 - 22:09)  And so, for toxic tango.   Meygan Caston: (22:09 - 23:20)  Yeah, we went to a marriage. Yeah, we went to a marriage intensive. And we did some therapy.   We did a lot of self-help. But through that journey, this is kind of where we started Marriage 365 is. First off, we couldn't afford therapy.   We needed to pay off all that debt that we had with a lot of student loan debt, a lot of stupid debt. What do you do if you can't afford therapy? What do you do if you don't have a good therapist?   What do you do if you have a bad experience with therapy? What do you do if the books aren't enough? And that was there was a really big hole and missing part in the marriage.   I don't say industry, but in the marriage space, where were all the online resources? Because this was back again in like 2010 when like podcasts weren't even around, social media was just becoming a thing. And it was really hard.   We were really disappointed with the lack of resources there were for marriage. And it felt like every church you go to, there was, you know, the missions ministry and the children's ministry and the youth groups. And all those are great.   Where in the world are all the marriage ministries? Then we found out only 3% of churches have actual paid marriage ministries. And I thought, that's messed up.   That's reverse. It's supposed to be the opposite, because then everything else will work itself out, as we know, with what research shows.   Casey Caston: (23:20 - 23:21)  Same with men's ministry, by the way.   Meygan Caston: (23:21 - 23:22)  Yes, same with men's ministry.   Casey Caston: (23:22 - 23:23)  Men's and marriage.   Meygan Caston: (23:23 - 23:26)  That's like the stepchild.   Casey Caston: (23:26 - 23:33)  Tech guy slash men's guy slash, you know. Children's persons can also do marriage.   Meygan Caston: (23:33 - 23:40)  So, we really just started helping our friends out. Obviously, people could see the change. Then people would come to us. We started helping couples at our church.   Casey Caston: (23:40 - 23:48)  And we had a ghoul pool. Like people were like, we give you guys another like ten months and then we're expecting you.   Meygan Caston: (23:48 - 23:51)  Yeah, everyone that knew us thought we'd get divorced.   Casey Caston: (23:51 - 23:52)  We were messy.   Meygan Caston: (23:52 - 23:58)  We were bad. Yeah. So, to see the complete transformation. And again, I go back to that work we did was on ourselves.   Casey Caston: (23:58 - 25:31)  And I just have to say that if you want to make a better marriage, it starts by making a better you. If you're hearing that. And you're kind of in a one sided marriage right now, I got to just say, I know that message sucks because it's a message that says you have to go first.   And that's not fair. In a marriage, you're supposed to be a team. But I do want to say there's so many couples that are stuck. Waiting for their spouse to join them on the let's get healthy train. So, their spouse doesn't join them. And then what they do is they kind of lean back, fold their arms and go, well, I guess we're stuck.   But I want to say that that's there is a message of empowerment to say you do have influence and the ability to steer your marriage in a healthy way. I have lots of regret that I did not join that train much sooner. But the story is that Meygan, you know, became the hero of our journey.   And that is something that I work actively so that I'm never in that place again, that I am the one that's always actively trying to improve myself, that I'm a better communicator, that I'm not a yeller, which we've ditched that a long time ago, that that I'm considered of Meygan's needs. And I'm even like attuned to like, what is she feeling? And how do I meet her where she's at?   Laura Dugger: (25:32 - 25:54)  Which is amazing that watching Meygan, it was compelling enough for you to join in. And it's admirable on both sides, the work that you've done. And are there any specific areas that you grew in that now you teach couples? I'm thinking specifically under conflict and repair or communication.   Casey Caston: (25:55 - 27:42)  Yeah. So, I remember those early years and every single week was chaos to chaos. Like coming home, it'd be like, what's for dinner?   I'm hungry and we need to make a decision now. Or, you know, it's Friday night or Saturday morning. What's going on this weekend?   Or where's all our money going? It was very, it was very reactionary. And I remember reading through Stephen Covey's, you know, Seven Habits of Highly Effective People.   And the first habit is be proactive. You cannot be intentional with your life. You cannot create purpose and meaning unless you are proactive with your life.   So, Meygan and I, you know, I'm working in a company and every single week we get together and we go through what are everyone's goals? What do we need to accomplish this week? We find alignment and the week goes really well.   We've got KPIs. We've got all these like, hey, as a team, you know, work team, here's what we're trying to accomplish this week. And it just kind of dawned on us like, well, why don't we do that in marriage?   Why don't we do that for a family? You got a family of six. You got six people running around the house. All have agendas. And you are trying to find alignment so that, hey, this is what the family is all about this week, right? We've got tournaments.   We've got parties. We've got projects. We've got meals.   And I think for so many couples we talk to, they live. Life with purpose on like building their career or their business or purpose with other areas of their life. And then when it comes to family, they wing it.   Meygan Caston: (27:42 - 27:43)  They just wing it.   Casey Caston: (27:43 - 28:31)  Yeah. And it's like, well, if it's meant to be, it's meant to be. It's the winging attitude creates chaos.   And so, Meygan and I love to teach this tool called the Weekly Marriage Business Meeting. And it is all of the logistics of our relationship schedules, meal plans, budgets, connection time, sexy time, alone time, self-care time. Yeah.   And and we kind of set with intention the week ahead for us. And we go through all the decisions of who's going, what, where, when. And all of that's done.   So, when you walk into the day, you're not like stressed about what's supposed to be happening. There is alignment and there's no missed expectations.   Meygan Caston: (28:31 - 29:27)  Yeah, there's no fights anymore about, well, you said you'd be home at six. No, I didn't. I said I'd be home at seven.   We sync our calendars. And I think, too, a big thing with this is we've noticed we fight when we don't do this now. It's one of those tools that it's prevented most of conflict.   I mean, we say it will on average for the most couples that use it. We have at least over 10,000 couples we know right now currently using it that are our members that they say it cuts conflict in half in half, because what you're doing is you're even scheduling that connection time or date night time where you're like, no matter how busy we are, when are Casey and Meygan going to get to be Casey and Meygan?   And that's so important, because again, if you're winging it and you're just trying to find time to connect, well, you've got four kids, we've got two teenagers. It's never going to happen. Right. And so, the weekly marriage business meeting is definitely one of the amazing and favorite worksheets and tools that we've taught and that we use ourselves because it works.   Casey Caston: (29:28 - 29:28)  Yeah.   Laura Dugger: (29:28 - 29:59)  What a game changer. That is awesome and so practical, so intentional, which we're all about. But then also we had talked about emotional intimacy earlier and emotional intimacy is interconnected with sexual intimacy and communication is the root issue.   And that's what you teach couples. So, what are some conversations that couples can begin so that they can grow in both of those types of intimacy and enjoyment?   Casey Caston: (30:01 - 31:34)  Yeah, so, I feel like I have to start off by saying I got this so wrong when we were first married. It's OK. I forgive you now.   Yeah, because, you know. Let's just let's be we'll be we'll be completely transparent. So, Meygan and I waited to have sex until we were married.   So, now I actually waited till I was married to have sex. And I thought that under that purity guideline, I was promised maybe by a youth group, maybe by a convention, that if you withhold sex and remain pure, God is going to bless you with the best sex life when you're married. And that just simply did not happen.   Like when we first got married, I really got went into the bedroom thinking. I don't know what foreplay is, but let's have intercourse until I come and then we're done. And that's sex. That's our sexual intimacy. And we missed out on so many intimate ways of knowing each other and sex being an obligation and something like I just was demanding of it from Meygan. And. What I've come to discover and what I love to teach other men is that sex is so much more broader than just having intercourse. I mean, there was this total understanding like, well, I feel good during intercourse. This feels very stimulating, which means that Meygan must feel the exact same way while we're having intercourse.   Meygan Caston: (31:35 - 31:35)  Nope.   Casey Caston: (31:36 - 32:35)  Because that's because listen, I never had sex before. But anytime I watched a rom com, you know, the guy threw up, you know, against the wall or they're having intercourse and she's going and he's going and they're having a great time. Like this must be what sex is all about.   And what I've discovered now and I get to teach other men is that emotional intimacy is kind of the birthplace of sexual expression of love, right? That we we create safe places for our wives to to open up. And because of that, they become more willing and wanting that that sexual expression rather than us just coming in and saying, OK, it's time for sex.   Let's go. And so, when we talk about just this book, this 365 Connecting Questions for Couples, I tell my guys, I'm like, hey, if you want to have great sex, start here because that is foreplay.   Meygan Caston: (32:35 - 33:48)  That's start here. It's good to know my heart, not just use me for my body, which can feel like that for a lot of people. And I think going back to the emotional intimacy, I think that, again, you had that when you were dating or you wouldn't have gotten married.   There was no way you were. If the person was boring, closed off, if, you know, your spouse was just completely on their phone every time, you wouldn't have had that second, third, fourth date. So, there was emotional intimacy at some point, which means you can't ever say we never had it.    You can always get it back, but you can have to be intentional. And I think a great way is we call it connection time. I think date night scares a lot of people.    I think it's the idea of. We have to go to a restaurant, we have to spend money, we have to find a babysitter, all these hurdles that you have to go through to make it happen, so then couples just don't even do it. So, we're like, listen, if you if that's overwhelming to you, then try connection time.    And really what that is, it's still undivided, you know, attention and time with you and your spouse. Maybe it's smaller, maybe it's 15 minutes, 30 minutes. And I know for when our kids were little, we played board games and card games and they'd go to bed, you know, at 7:30 or 8:00 PM.    And we would bring out Yahtzee.   Casey Caston: (33:48 - 33:51)  There'd be a lot of trash talking over chutes and ladders.   Meygan Caston: (33:52 - 34:29)  But we would play. We would play games. And it was our time to connect.    And when we didn't talk about the kids, you know, we just chatted about our day and again, going through some of these connecting questions that didn't even really exist yet, but they were in our heads. Taking a walk with the dog and, you know, going to a little local coffee shop, even if it's just 30 minutes and sharing and talking and exploring that emotional intimacy should never stop again. And that's going to give people opportunities to then go into the bedroom, like Casey mentioned, more willing and more excited to be intimate to each other because it's like, oh, that's right.    We like each other. We're still married. We're still friends.   Casey Caston: (34:29 - 35:15)  You bring up a great point. Like I said, I think sitting down over the table, staring at each other can be intimidating for a lot of guys, because especially if this is not a regular habit in your relationship and taking a walk for guys when we're doing something and maybe it's less intimidating because we're not even staring at each other. But that kind of like getting the, you know, oxytocin going, like getting moving, like that kind of adrenaline can actually stimulate guys for good conversations and processing things.    And so, what we hear from a lot of couples that take our book, maybe they'll take a picture of the question and they'll go, Hey, let's take a walk. And then they'll use the question on their walk.   Meygan Caston: (35:15 - 35:15)  Yeah.   Casey Caston: (35:15 - 35:24)  And that gets conversations going. So, if that's like a on ramp onto this, that's a that's a great starting point for a lot of people.   Laura Dugger: (35:24 - 36:48)  Oh, that's so good. And I love how you say just an on ramp, because the goal is more intimacy overall together to know one another, be known. And I love that you're showing this is not a manipulation factor.    This isn't ask these questions so we can be more active in the bedroom, regardless of whichever spouse is the higher desire one. But this is to really enhance all levels of your relationship. And as you talk about oxytocin, it just makes me think such an interesting cycle that the Lord created where I will speak more stereotypically that where women require the emotional connection and then they open up and enjoy sex more.    But then men, once they've had sex and they just have this like 500 percent increase of oxytocin in this neurochemical bath that opens them up emotionally. And we could see it even as we view our differences. You could be upset because they're opposite or we can see it as a gift that they can fuel one another.    And then we get more of a holistic picture of overall intimacy. So, I'll also link to quite a few episodes because we do about one per month where we dive deeper into sexual intimacy. S   o, I can link all of those in the show notes.    But Casey, were you going to say something?   Meygan Caston: (36:49 - 36:50)  I want to say something to it.   Casey Caston: (36:51 - 37:16)  He loves. Well, so, we're talking chicken and egg, right? Like who gets the emotional intimacy, who gets the physical intimacy first?    And I just think that there's if we approach our relationship with selfishness, well, then neither people get satisfied. But if we are in an approach to serve one another and be selfless lovers. So, men would be like, you know what?    I want to meet my wife's emotional needs.   Meygan Caston: (37:16 - 37:16)  Yeah.   Casey Caston: (37:17 - 37:38)  Like and I do believe that men are the spark of initiation. If you're a husband out there listening to this, like that one of your greatest gifts to marriage is initiation. You were the one who asked for the first date.    You were the one who got down one the knee. You are the spark of initiation. And I believe that God's created women as nurturers of that initiation.   Meygan Caston: (37:39 - 37:41)  And to clarify, you're not talking just about initiating sex.   Casey Caston: (37:41 - 37:43)  Well, yes. Just everything.   Meygan Caston: (37:43 - 37:55)  Initiating, just initiating, initiating a weekly marriage business meeting. Women are so turned on by when a husband's like, hey, I don't necessarily know what we want to do for a date night, but I want to take you on a date. Can I get an amen, Laura?   Laura Dugger: (37:55 - 37:56)  Right, sister?   Meygan Caston: (37:57 - 38:14)  Hey, women are turned on. Listen, men, women are turned on. If you say, you know what?    I know that like this has been an issue with my parents and I don't even know how to handle it, but I really want to have that conversation. Oh, my gosh. Just initiating the conversation is all we're looking for.    It's OK that you don't have all the answers.   Casey Caston: (38:14 - 38:14)  Yeah.   Meygan Caston: (38:14 - 38:23)  But for men that avoid stonewall, escape, numb out, busy themselves, it is such a turnoff. It is so not what we want.   Laura Dugger: (38:23 - 39:55)  I want to make sure that you're up to date with our latest news. We have a new website. You can visit theSavvySauce.com and see all of the latest updates. You may remember Francie Heinrichsen from episode 132, where we talked about pursuing our God given dreams. She is the amazing businesswoman who has carefully designed a brand-new website for Savvy Sauce Charities. And we are thrilled with the final product.    So, I hope you check it out there. You're going to find all of our podcasts now with show notes and transcriptions listed a scrapbook of various previous guests and an easy place to join our email list to receive monthly encouragement and questions to ask your loved ones so that you can have your own practical chats for intentional living. You will also be able to access our donation button or our mailing address for sending checks that are tax deductible so that you can support the work of Savvy Sauce Charities and help us continue to reach the nation with the good news of Jesus Christ.    So, make sure you visit theSavvySauce.com.    Okay, so, then continue the conversation with just overall intimacy. What are some examples of de-escalation techniques that you recommend to couples who are in conflict, ones that can maybe help the strained relationships so that they can be repaired?  Yeah.   Meygan Caston: (39:55 - 42:19)  Yeah. So, a big thing that I've learned as someone who's very direct, I can tend to be on that, like I mentioned, fighter side. And I know a lot of women, studies have shown 75 percent of us ladies are the ones that typically bring up the issues.    So, just be aware that there is a gender difference there. And if you're a dude, there's nothing wrong with you if you're in, you know, that 75 percent or 25 percent. But I think the biggest thing I've recognized is to remind your spouse in the very beginning of the conversation, why you're having the conversation.    You know, I love you. I love us. I want to see us be the best people that we can be.    I want to see us enjoy marriage and enjoy life. I love you. Like bring the positivity and the reminder that you're better together than apart.    And really, that's part of what we call a soft startup, right? There's a lot of different soft startups you've heard of. You know, I feel when you I need those work to but I like to take it a little bit deeper to say, remind your spouse how much that you love being married to them.    Or again, whatever the issue is like we have the most. Let's say it's parenting. Casey and I are very different in our parenting styles.    Last night would have been a great difference of how that happened. But like reminder that like we both love our children. We both want the best for our kids.    No one doubts that. We both have made we made two beautiful, wonderful, quirky children. Right.    And so, even you can start the conversation with that. But I wish that more people did that because I think people are are, you know, I'm really upset about something. OK, well, the second you say that defenses, sorry, but defenses are going to go up.    We want to keep the conversations defenses low, guards low, right, de-escalation. And so, use soft startups, use kind, positive language. But I think another thing behind that would be come to the conversation processed.    Do not have these conversations 11 o'clock at night when you're tired or when you're hungry. Do not have these conversations when it just happened and you haven't had the time to just like stop. Think about what do I really need?    Why did that trigger me? What am I hoping to achieve? Why is my husband acting this way?    Oh, is he under a lot of stress? Yeah, we got to give ourselves time to sit and process before we even use those soft startups. So, that would be my advice for de-escalation.   Casey Caston: (42:20 - 43:04)  And mine actually would be an apology. I think that we all make mistakes. And when you think about a couple that's maybe living reactively, just winging it, I doubt that there's ever an apology that's given on either side because it takes a little it takes awareness to recognize, gosh, you know what?    My that little comment I just made that probably had a little zing to it. Or, you know, I really let my spouse down by not parenting the children the way she would want me to. Or, you know, I said I was going to do something and I didn't.    And I let my partner down. You want to de-escalate a tense situation. Apologize.   Meygan Caston: (43:04 - 43:04)  Yeah. Own it.   Casey Caston: (43:05 - 43:12)  When you apologize, you know, you're taking all of the heat out of the fire. They really are.   Meygan Caston: (43:12 - 43:16)  And you're validating your spouse's feelings. Who doesn't want to be validated and seen? Everybody does.   Casey Caston: (43:16 - 43:38)  And then you're taking responsibility and accountability for your actions, which is the trust builder for relationships. So, that's why when you talk about high conflict relationships, there aren't a lot of there's not a lot of trust there. It's not a safe place anymore.    So, to create that safety, we want to we want to build trust back into the relationship.   Laura Dugger: (43:39 - 43:50)  Those are fantastic. And do you guys just have maybe a handful of ideas for ways that couples can strengthen their marriage with one another?   Meygan Caston: (43:51 - 44:09)  Absolutely. I would say, obviously, the weekly marriage business meeting. I mean, I know we talked about it, but the important thing is to schedule it, put it in the calendar because you don't want to wing it.    And that way it's showing, oh, you're prioritizing us. Taking walks has been a big one for us. Playing games is a big one.   Casey Caston: (44:09 - 45:18)  The 60 second blessing is where we intentionally spend time. 60 seconds reminding our partner of how much we love them, using our words to say, like, I saw how hard you work for the family. I love how you take care of the kids and kind of reminding your partner, like I see the goodness in each other.    I think it's really important because. Day to day life, we can just be very transactional, and if we again, we have any sort of criticism or, you know, our words just are not flavored with life, well, proverb says, you know, our words have the power to give life or to give death. Right.    So, the words that we speak, if we evaluate. Are we producing what I call weed seeds? Or are we planting fruit trees?    Because weed seeds choke out the garden. Those sharp, critical words can leave your garden looking pretty shabby, whereas being intentional by speaking positive over each other. It's like planting fruit trees.    And who doesn't like a good, juicy orange? Right.   Meygan Caston: (45:18 - 47:15)  Well, and the 60 second blessing, you know, you start off by writing five to seven positive things you love about your spouse. And so, one spouse shares their list for 60 seconds and then the second spouse shares their list. And it's this habit that we actually started doing after our marriage intensive that we did as we were repairing our marriage because we had yeah, we had we had spoken such mean and harsh words or just a lot of roommate stuff.    And we needed that positivity. And it's a great foreplay tip, by the way, just to sit, sometimes sit down and go, I just need to tell you how wonderful you are. Like, who doesn't want to hear that about themselves?    I think another thing that Casey and I have recognized it is the only thing, by the way, Laura, in our marriage, the only thing that has ever stayed consistent. That's we have fun together. We laugh a lot, even in hard times.    Yeah, it wasn't as enjoyable, but we still had fun. And, you know, again, fun is different for everybody. We don't ever want to judge someone else's fun.    But we are constantly like we we are sarcastic. But that's for us because we have high trust levels. I usually tell couples if you're, you know, in a fair recovery or you have low trust levels, sarcasm is probably not great.    But we're very playful. We have again, we play a lot of fun games and we play ping pong and cornhole and we take our dogs on our dog on a walk. And we, you know, we're going to try to go ax throwing in April.    We've never done that before. Like there are fun that we've taken dance lessons. So, we like to think out of the box and do new things or things that we know that like how many games of Yahtzee have we played?    I don't even know. I mean, we've lost count. Or gin rummy, you know, I mean, we just play Sequence or Rummikub like we play them all.    And for that for us, that's really fun. We dance a lot. We love the 90's music.    Like get out your favorite playlist and just dance and sing and be goofy. Like I think if couples were to laugh and enjoy each other more and be able to laugh with themselves, I think that there would be more marriages that would stay together. Laura Dugger: (47:16 - 47:39)  That is something that I've even experienced in this time together. You guys are so fun to be around. And that's very life giving to others.    But I can see where it starts in that secret place between just the two of you, your best friend. And you share a lot of this goodness with Marriage 365. So, can you let us know all the different things that you have to offer?   Casey Caston: (47:40 - 48:48)  Yeah, I would probably say the number one way that people experience all of the resources that we've created over the years is through our mobile app. So, we have an app that has over a thousand pieces of videos, workshop, worksheet, excuse me, courses, challenges. We even have a checkup so you can actually rate kind of your marriage.    And that is a great way for people to be able to have access, you know, on the spot if they're dealing with an issue, they don't know how to get through and they're looking for a tool or a conversation to help them work through that. That our app provides such a valuable resource. I mean, beyond that, you know, some couples need a little bit more hands on approach.    So, we do coaching. We have a coaching staff actually to handle all the incoming couples that are saying, hey, can you can you help us out? And again, I just want to say coaching is really, really focused on giving action plans and homework and accountability to our clients.    And coaching is really, really helpful if you're like, I just need to know what to do next.   Meygan Caston: (48:48 - 49:17)  Yeah. We do intensives for couples that are in crisis, you know, there that are seriously considering separation or divorce or an affair recovery and that we have an over 90 percent success rate because we went through an intensive when we were struggling and it was something we knew we wanted to get trained on and do. And it's a full two days with Casey and I.    I mean, two days back-to-back. We know you. We get Christmas cards from all of our couples, you know, every year.    We love it. And it's they become almost I mean, yes, they're our clients, but they almost become like our friends.   Casey Caston: (49:17 - 49:45)  Yeah. And then probably personally, one of my favorite things that we do is we host our own couple's getaway. And this is a four-day experience.    It's not your it's not like a typical retreat where you're sitting in a conference room, you're just getting lectured all day. We're actually facilitating tools and then giving couples opportunities to work on them. Then some free time to really spend some time making great memories.    We have a dance party. It is a ton of fun.   Meygan Caston: (49:45 - 49:55)  We make sure. Yeah, we make sure it's fun. It's more it's definitely more for couples who are doing OK or want to do better, not they're not ideal for couples in crisis because it's going to be very uncomfortable.   Casey Caston: (49:55 - 49:56)  I love our retreats.   Meygan Caston: (49:56 - 49:57)  I know.   Casey Caston: (49:57 - 49:58)  I love interacting with her.   Meygan Caston: (49:58 - 50:05)  And of course, we have our social media. You can just search Marriage 365 and then we have our website, too. And we have our books, of course.   Casey Caston: (50:05 - 50:09)  Oh, and I have a men's group. I know I launched a five-week men's reset. . Meygan Caston: (50:09 - 50:34)  Needless to say, Laura, we're really busy. I do a lot. I think that's what's funny, right?    I think that people see us online and they think that we just have an Instagram, or we just have Facebook. And I'm like, we've been doing this for 12 years and we have a staff of 12 people. So, we reach a lot of people.    And we because marriage is never a one stop, you know, one size fits all. It's it's true. There are so many different dynamics, and we want to be able to help as many people as we can.   Laura Dugger: (50:35 - 50:59)  Wow. Thank you for sharing that. We will add all of those links.    I love all these different offerings that you have and that will meet people in whatever phase they're in. But you two already know we are called The Savvy Sauce because savvy is synonymous with practical knowledge. And so, as my final question for both of you, what is your Savvy Sauce?   Meygan Caston: (51:00 - 51:47)  Mine would be I would want every single person to think about becoming more confident. And that starts with becoming more self-aware. I think that that is completely changed who I am.   And I'm we're raising two kids, and I see the confidence that they have. And we're modeling that but also walking them through how to be self-aware. And really, that starts with having to be one with your thoughts, turning off the phone, sorry, turning off the podcast, sometimes turning off the music and just actually sitting and really going.    Do I really know my thoughts, my feelings, my values, my personality, my good, my bad, my ugly? And we don't do this enough. We are busy ourselves.    We're distracted constantly. And I think that it's really harming our mental health. And so, that would be my savvy sauce.   Casey Caston: (51:47 - 52:30)  Hmm. I love that, babe. It's kind of hard because we find so much alignment.    I mean, I would that's exactly what I would say, too. Um, I, you know, my focus in twenty, twenty-five has really been turned towards helping husbands. And there's a quote that Henry David Thoreau says that many men live lives of quiet desperation and they die with their songs still inside them.    And most guys are terrified of stopping and evaluating. And so, for me, creating space too. Listen, I do a 10, 10, 10 practice in the morning.   Meygan Caston: (52:30 - 52:32)  That's what I thought you were going to say.   Casey Caston: (52:32 - 52:32)  Yeah, yeah.   Meygan Caston: (52:32 - 52:36)  Well, I was like, I bet you he's going to talk about it because it's been life changing for you.   Casey Caston: (52:36 - 53:01)  Yeah. So, I spend 10 minutes of scripture reading. So, that's input.    Then I spend 10 minutes of quiet meditation where I'm sitting and I'm in a listening posture. And I mean, I think about everything from lasagna to the last wave I serve to. But there's intentionality about just opening myself like here I am.    I'm ready to be downloaded on like what you have for me today.   Meygan Caston: (53:01 - 53:02)  God be one with your thoughts.   Casey Caston: (53:03 - 53:18)  Yeah. And all sorts of things come up. And then I spent 10 minutes journaling.    And that process is just and that's like the output. Right. So, now I've got input.    I've been listening and now I get to write stuff out. And that's been a huge game changer for me.   Laura Dugger: (53:19 - 53:43)  Wow, I love both of those. You two are just refreshingly vulnerable and such an incredible mixture of intentional and lighthearted. And it has been so great just to sit under your teaching today.    So, thank you for sharing your story and for helping all of us. And thank you just for being my guests.   Meygan Caston: (53:43 - 53:45)  Oh, you're welcome. It was a pleasure to be here.   Casey Caston: (53:45 - 53:49)  Yes, you asked great questions that plumb the deep wells of Casey Meygan.   Laura Dugger: (53:52 - 57:35)  One more thing before you go. Have you heard the term gospel before?   It simply means good news. And I want to share the best news with you. But it starts with the bad news.   Every single one of us were born sinners, but Christ desires to rescue us from our sin, which is something we cannot do for ourselves. This means there is absolutely no chance we can make it to heaven on our own. So, for you and for me, it means we deserve death, and we can never pay back the sacrifice we owe to be saved.   We need a savior. But God loved us so much, he made a way for his only son to willingly die in our place as the perfect substitute. This gives us hope of life forever in right relationship with him.   That is good news. Jesus lived the perfect life we could never live and died in our place for our sin. This was God's plan to make a way to reconcile with us so that God can look at us and see Jesus.

⁠⁠⁠Trey and Scheana went from a sexless marriage to full swapping and more and they both called in to talk all about it. Tune in to hear alll the details including when they got married and when they went from having great sex to having no sex, how and when Sheila started to figure out she was into women and how she brought it up and how that led to Trey bringing up his interest in guys, how and why they're decided to start couple swapping and what they went looking for, the first couple they started “dating” and what went wrong with them, the Lifestyle campsite they went to and exactly what what went down the first time, their first full swap and how Scheana reacted afterwards, how and why they decided to start a bisexual lifestyle group and started throwingparties, Scheana's first experience with a woman and what went down, Trey's first experience with a guy and what went down, the house parties they have and what typically goes down, how they got into pegging and Scheana feels about it, how opening up their marriage has made them closer plus a whole lot more.  **To see HOT pics of TRE & SCHEANA plus my other female guests + hear anonymous confessions + get all the episodes early and AD FREE, join my Patreon! It's only $7 a month and you can cancel at any time. You can sign up here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and when you join, I'll throw in a complimentary link to my private Discord! MY BOOK IS NOW OUT FOR PRE-ORDER!!!! Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. A bunch of short, super sexy, TRUE stories. GET YOUR COPY NOW: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠   To join SDC and get a FREE Trial! click here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.sdc.com/?ref=37712⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ or go to SDC.com and use my code 37712   Want to be on the show? Email me at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠strictlyanonymouspodcast@gmail.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ or go to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and click on "Be on the Show" Have something quick you want to confess while remaining anonymous? Call the CONFESSIONS hotline at 347-420-3579. You can call 24/7. All voices are changed.   Sponsors:  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://viia.co/STRICTLYANON⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Try VIIA and use code STRICTLYANON for great SEX and sleep ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://butterwellness.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Use the code “STRICTLY” at checkout for 20% off your entire order ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://vb.health⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ To get 10% off Drive Boost by VB Health use code: STRICTLY ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://beducate.me/pd2528-anonymous⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Use code: ANONYMOUS to get 50% off your yearly pass plus get a 14-day money-back guarantee ⁠⁠⁠https://uberlube.com/discount/Strictly⁠⁠⁠ Use code: STRICTLY for 10% off Uberlube aka the BEST Lube EVER ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bluechew.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Get your first month of the new Blewchew Max FREE! use code: STRICTLYANON To get $15 OFF your female oxytocin arousal tablets and more, use code STRICTLY here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://shamelesscare.sjv.io/xLQ3Jv⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow me! Instagram ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Twitter ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if you’re married and THEN you meet the person you were destined to be with? That's what happened to the author of Loveable, Amber Rae.Amber is talking with Jennie Garth all about the complex feelings that happen in a sexless and emotionally unfulfilling marriage and the reasons why we stop ourselves from acknowledging that something might be wrong.Amber opens up about what happened when she met the love of her life while she was married...and how choosing to listen to her inner voice changed her life forever. Email us at: IDOPOD@iheartradio.com or call us at 844-4-I Do Pod (844-443-6763)Follow I Do, Part 2 on Instagram and TikTokSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What if you’re married and THEN you meet the person you were destined to be with? That's what happened to the author of Loveable, Amber Rae.Amber is talking with Jennie Garth all about the complex feelings that happen in a sexless and emotionally unfulfilling marriage and the reasons why we stop ourselves from acknowledging that something might be wrong.Amber opens up about what happened when she met the love of her life while she was married...and how choosing to listen to her inner voice changed her life forever. Email us at: IDOPOD@iheartradio.com or call us at 844-4-I Do Pod (844-443-6763)Follow I Do, Part 2 on Instagram and TikTokSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What if you’re married and THEN you meet the person you were destined to be with? That's what happened to the author of Loveable, Amber Rae.Amber is talking with Jennie Garth all about the complex feelings that happen in a sexless and emotionally unfulfilling marriage and the reasons why we stop ourselves from acknowledging that something might be wrong.Amber opens up about what happened when she met the love of her life while she was married...and how choosing to listen to her inner voice changed her life forever. Email us at: IDOPOD@iheartradio.com or call us at 844-4-I Do Pod (844-443-6763)Follow I Do, Part 2 on Instagram and TikTokSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What if you’re married and THEN you meet the person you were destined to be with? That's what happened to the author of Loveable, Amber Rae.Amber is talking with Jennie Garth all about the complex feelings that happen in a sexless and emotionally unfulfilling marriage and the reasons why we stop ourselves from acknowledging that something might be wrong.Amber opens up about what happened when she met the love of her life while she was married...and how choosing to listen to her inner voice changed her life forever. Email us at: IDOPOD@iheartradio.com or call us at 844-4-I Do Pod (844-443-6763)Follow I Do, Part 2 on Instagram and TikTokSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.