Podcasts about if sam

Samantha Joy joins me on the podcast this week as an Enneagram type 7, and author of the book The Less Effect: Design Your Life for Happiness and Purpose. Her mission is to educate people on how to step into their authentic self by letting go of items in your physical, social, and habitual environments. On today's episode, we dig deep into how she was possibly mistyped as a type to the helper for years and years and years before she finally uncovered that she was an Enthusiast on the Enneagram personality testing system. We talked a lot about parenting and her career in upper level management in the financial industry before she set out on her own. Samantha is running a program right now based on how she went from food stamps to six figures in nine months. If you enjoyed today's conversation, please share it with one person. And while you're at it, leave us a five star rating and a written review on iTunes or Spotify. That really helps us get the message of the podcast out to more people. If Sam's message resonates with you today, please connect with her @iamsamanthajoy or via email at hello@thelesseffect.com

this weeks episode is all about our home town San Diego!. We give you some of our favorite places to visit when you com down to sunny SD. Place to go in the Gayborhood and beyond. We also get in to Netflix's the "Gay Guide" We didn't get no gay guide when we came out! what gives Netflix? We also the homoerotic under tones of "Falcon and Winter Soldier" . If Sam and Bucky don't get it on, Bashs head might explode. is Disney gay baiting us? Theme music: “Around the Bend” by Evan Schaeffer  http://soundcloud.com/evanschaeffer.

Show Notes:In this episode of Waiter Crusaders Podcast, we have invited Sam Vick, a free-spirited server with so much to dish about the service industry. She is writing her own memoir, and today, she spills the tea on inner restaurant entanglements, how her tattoos helped her start conversations, and how a renewed perspective is helping her find real purpose in life. Entering the Service Industry[1:18]Sam entered the service industry for better money and flexible hours. She stayed in the industry because it's nice, and she loves the people she works with. The type of workplace enables her to easily meet new friends.[1:45]Sam was working a desk job for four years in Florida, and the experience was stressful for her. She says there wasn't any room to move up or to improve.  She stayed in the service industry because she feels that putting in more work gets more money.Starting the Conversation[3:09]Sam came to Los Angeles because of the opportunities it had, and there's a lot of different options for people. She initially wanted to write which she wants to get her foot in because of the type of networking that the service industry has.[4:13]In the restaurant world, you never know who you're waiting on, but people give their cards if you get that conversation started.[4:30]It's initially hard to start a conversation. When you are serving, there are people on tables that don't want anything to do with you, and they don't want you to speak to them. Sometimes they just want you to refill their water and serve their food. But there are other tables that actually take a genuine interest.In the Weeds[6:08]Sam says that "the weeds" happen often. But it's really nice how helpful people can be and that if you ask for help or when you need help, they are always willing to help.[7:21]When you're first starting a new job, it's always nerve-wracking because you have been doing this for a while, and you need to prove yourself to a whole new group of people.Sam's Embarrassing Moments[7:38]During her first job, there were old ladies that were having iced teas, and one of them accidentally dropped their napkin under the table, and Sam tried to grab it for them and give them a new one. As she was standing up, she hit her head on the table, and a drink fell over, and she flew back.[8:46]Sam saw somebody spill a glass of wine on a baby's head before, which was very funny to her.Romantic and Affair Stories[9:45]At her first job, there was a male server who was the typical fraternity guy. Every time there was a new hostess, he gets with all of them, and they eventually thought that they were dating him. It was fun for Sam to watch that from the sidelines where the guy just gets himself in a huge mess.Training Customers[11:39]Be kind and compassionate. Workers from the service or restaurant industry aren't slaves. It's their job to serve you but be nice. Sam personally feels that everybody should be in the service industry for a few weeks to see the ins and outs and what servers go through.Recommendations, Serving, and Ordering[13:32]From being a server, you are just trying to make them not be stressed or do have them do much.  If Sam is trying to think of a drink, she'll ask them what they like, and she'll go with it because she always goes with the recommendations.[14:21]As long as you put a drink in front of your guests, you just bought yourself plenty of time because they don't care at that point.[14:46]When the server comes with a wrong order, Sam won't say anything. If she orders a medium-rare steak, but she gets an overcooked steak, she will still eat it because she doesn't like making an issue for the server, and she knows it's not their fault.[15:33]Sam has had sweet guests in the past, and they apologize for speaking about their order being wrong.Sam's Favorite Restaurant[16:22]Sam's favorite restaurant is the Elephante in Santa Monica. She likes the view, and even though the food is expensive, the cocktails and food are amazing, and the people are very nice.Thoughts on the Pandemic[17:37]For Sam, it's extremely stressful. She's a pretty positive person in general, but there are some days where she wakes up with insane anxiety. It's just not knowing when it'll end is messing people up. She's furloughed from her job right now, and she's happy that she still has a job.[19:37]Sam thinks that it's going to take a really long time for the economy to get back anywhere near where it was.[20:00]Earth is finally able to breathe. There's something positive coming out of it. We're all not having the best time, but we're on a timeout right now.Appreciation and Gratitude[20:36]Sam is so happy and thankful for her health and the people around her and their health. She's thankful that people are doing their part and doing what they're supposed to do.Personal Crusade[21:03]For now, Sam is free-spirited. She's not putting a lot of pressure on herself to figure out what's she's going to do for the moment. For now, she's going to play by ear and day-to-day to figure out what she really wants to do and what her core values are in life.

Surprise surprise! We're back, for yet another season of irreverent, political, subversive and downright rude viewpoints on everything in space and time from '63 to '89! Remember: Hands, face, Liberace! In this episode we're trapped in The Matrix as we catch up on some red-hot gossip, including: How Greg was canceled by a top Dr Who star... Why Charlie sent a BBC employee to buy his Dr Who blu ray discs... If Sam has finally completed his Target novelisation collection... Central to this episode is part one of an epic Mind Probe interview with a special writer and performer whose massive career doesn't touch Dr Who - at least, not yet - but pretty much everything else. Plus love for Simon MacCorkindale, Jonathan Myles-Lea, a shouting rabbi and much, much more... TX: 31 October 2021 Features strong language and adult humour. Listener discretion is advised.

Details, credits, errata: First, a quick explanation—last week Sam had some unexpected childcare stuff and had to bail out on an episode that he and Alissa still plan to do. This week we’ll have two for you: This one, and, to sweeten the deal for potential subscribers, an unlocked episode from our archives, going up on Friday. Thanks for your patience and apologies for the schedule interruption. This week we have a very fun treat for you in the form of award-winning documentarian Penny Lane, who joins us to discuss venerable cable TV trashfest The Real Housewives, which recently embarked on a new franchise in Salt Lake City. Penny is erudite and witty and we had a lot of fun with her; there’s a little more crosstalk than usual because of some mild internet lag but most of it was taken out in editing. If Sam seems interruptier than he normally does, that’s (hopefully) why. Sam said YPK when he meant YPG, the Kurdish militia group, in mentioning a good and very weird episode of controversial leftist podcast Chapo Trap House that might be a little hard to track down, so we’re linking it here.Our header image is entitled Tetra Pak® - Lady with shopping net and Tetra Classic® packages, 1960s and is made available via Wikimedia Commons by the Tetra Pak corporation under a CC-BY-SA license and used herein with our thanks. I don’t usually do this but our title is borrowed from Richard Hamilton’s witty 1956 collage, one of Sam’s favorite pieces of pop art, which can be viewed here.Our theme song is Louis Armstrong and His Hot 5’s Muskrat Ramble, made freely available by the Boston Public Library and audio engineering shop George Blood, LP through the Internet Archive. The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City is copyright 2020 NBCUniversal. Brief audio excerpts are used herein for purposes of review and no other copyright is intended or implied. All other material is copyright 2021 Sam Thielman and Alissa Wilkinson. This is a public episode. Get access to private episodes at yammpod.substack.com/subscribe

The Misters of the Dark are back with a very special event! Stefan has kidnapped the co-host of The Antagonists: An All Villain Podcast, Sam Toohey, as revenge for Lance starting a new podcast without him! He forces them to make the decisions as he reads a Choose Your Own Adventure book. Stefan's caveat? If Sam chooses an ending where they die, they die in real life! --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/motdpodcast/support

What Are Criminal Justice Proceedings? Hopefully, once you find and hire a lawyer, you’ll have a trusted advocate. When it comes to criminal matters, unfortunately, finding and hiring a criminal defense attorney is only the start of a long and arduous path. The more a defendant learns about the challenges ahead, and the better he understands how he can prepare, the more likely he will be to conquer struggles that complicate life for so many that experience the criminal justice system. I don’t have precise statistics in front of me. Still, I don’t think anyone will argue that if federal prosecutors bring criminal charges against individuals, a sentencing hearing will follow more than six out of ten times. Before banging the gavel to signal finality, the judge frequently says:   “I sentence you to the custody of the Attorney General.”   Several years ago, a federal judge in the Southern District of California invited our team to lead a panel discussion for other judges in his district. They wanted us to help judges understand what happens after they sentence a person to prison. If federal judges don’t know what happens after they sentence a person, it’s fair to say that neither lawyers nor defendants know what to expect either. In fact, some defendants don’t even know how they got into the system.     How does it Start:   Relatively few Americans have more than a basic understanding of our nation's criminal justice system. They know that law enforcement officers arrest people, district attorneys prosecute many of those who are arrested, and some people who are convicted go to jail or prison.  It's much more complicated than that, of course. Although I’m not a lawyer, I’ve done a lot of research to get a better understanding of the system, and I found an excellent resource in Modern Criminal Procedure, 9th Edition, by Yale Kamisar, et al, published by West Group, (St. Paul. Minn: 1999). It’s a great resource for anyone that wants to get a more thorough understanding of the system. Most people don’t need to read a legal treatise. The summary I provide below will give most defendants a better understanding of how the criminal justice machine works. That understanding may lead to more fluency, better communications, and better preparation for the journey ahead. Again, we’re writing for laymen, for people who want a brief glimpse of what to expect if charged with a felony. Start from the premise that our criminal justice system is designed to protect society. It doesn’t always seem that way for a defendant. When a defendant comes into the system, everything feels like a personal attack, and the complicated proceedings aren’t always easy to understand. Lawyers talk about substantive laws (the laws that congress passed) and about proceedings (the rules by which the system is supposed to operate). It isn’t a perfect system, because it has evolved over multiple decades, and it’s designed to operate at scale. A system designed to process more than 1 million people each year doesn’t look too closely at personal characteristics and circumstances. It’s much more like moving a cog through an elaborate machine. All branches of law enforcement work together to prosecute crimes. Just as some offenders will make every effort to evade detection and apprehension by law-enforcement officers, representatives of the criminal justice system will make every effort to convict a defendant. Many defendants complain that law enforcement officers and prosecutors operate outside the scope of the rules in order to get convictions. Unfortunately, complaining doesn’t solve any problems. Once a person comes into the system, it’s best to think methodically. We need to learn as much as possible, and then engineer our way to the best outcome. Throughout this book and course, we’ll offer insight that defendants may use—along with their counsel—to prepare. Practically speaking, defendants would be well advised to expect law enforcement officers and prosecutors to use every means available for them to achieve their ends. Ultimately, prosecutors want to solve crimes and convict. In a perfect world those representatives of justice would dot every "I" and cross every "T" as they follow the rules in both the letter and the spirit of the law. Years of working with society's felons, however, frequently causes seasoned law enforcement officers to develop cynical perspectives of humanity. Sometimes, to get the outcome they want, they cut corners. They may even threaten. Let me give an example from a client that our team is working with now. Sam is a healthcare professional. The prosecutor offered him an opportunity to plead guilty to a charge with a five-year cap. If Sam chose to exercise his right to a jury trial, the prosecutor threatened to bring charges against Sam’s wife, and to bring further charges that would expose Sam to more than 20 years in prison. Then, the prosecutor argued that Sam would have to agree to say that no one pressured, threatened, or induced him to take the plea. From Sam’s perspective, the proceeding is inherently unfair. He would like to have had an opportunity to argue for his innocence. But he could not afford to expose his wife to the threat of criminal charges. He felt threatened and pressured to take the deal. Rather than justice, Sam said the prosecutor wanted a conviction. Those who work in law enforcement tend to become ultra conservative. They may be rigid in their beliefs that people who are charged with crimes clearly did something wrong and ought to be punished. Such attitudes can result in offenders being charged with crimes that can result in convictions, as opposed to the offender being charged with precisely the crimes that the individual may have actually committed. It would be wise, I think, for those who become entangled with the criminal justice process to anticipate a system influenced much more by Machiavelli, pursuing victory regardless of methods, rather than a system influenced by teachings of more enlightened leaders that encourage forgiveness, compassion, and concern for the individual.     The Structure:   In compliance with our nation's Constitution, legislators elected to both houses of the U.S. Congress have played a significant role in establishing a body of federal laws that are supposed to govern the behavior of citizens. The Constitution also provides legislators from each individual state with authority to establish their own code of criminal laws for their state, and their own criminal justice processes for enforcing those laws statewide. Although the different jurisdictions frequently collaborate, our nation actually operates several different criminal justice systems:   We have a system for the federal government, We have a system for each state, We have a system for the military, and We have another system for the District of Columbia.   It's our responsibility as citizens to abide by these laws. When we do not, we subject ourselves to being charged with criminal offenses and experiencing the wrath of the criminal justice system. Law enforcement officers are supposed to follow strictly prescribed procedures when charging a citizen with wrongdoing. In addition to federal and state rules for criminal procedure, published judicial opinions may also have an impact on criminal procedures. Criminal procedures are complicated. They can be understood more easily when we think of the criminal justice system as a game.  I use this metaphor for clarity, not to trivialize the conflict between accused and accuser. Offenders, or "defendants" act as opponents of law enforcement officers and prosecutors. Both sides want to win. The defendants want to be acquitted, or to receive the least restrictive sanction. On the other side, law enforcement officers and prosecutors want to convict. They frequently argue for defendants to receive severe sanctions, without consideration for individual characteristics or mitigating factors. A judge will make the ultimate decision. In this "game" of criminal justice, the judge acts as referee. Judges are charged with the responsibility of ensuring that all participants of the game follow procedures to ensure that due process is achieved. Although there are many ways this game may begin, it usually starts when someone reports a crime to a member of law enforcement.     Once the Crime is Reported:   The criminal justice process usually begins when a crime is reported or otherwise discovered by law enforcement officers.  Law enforcement officers may learn about a crime in any number of ways.   They may observe a crime being committed; They may learn about it because someone reports it; They may learn about it through investigation or by interrogating others.   Once law enforcement officers learn about a crime, it becomes a "reported crime" or a "known offense."     Pre-Arrest Investigation   Sometimes, as when law enforcement officers are present when a crime is being committed—or soon thereafter—the "investigation" begins with an on-scene arrest. Other times, as when law enforcement officers learn that a crime has been committed, but were not in a position to make an on-scene arrest, they have the responsibility of solving that crime. They therefore launch a reactive investigation, where the officers will attempt to figure out:   Whether a crime was in fact committed, Who committed the crime, What evidence there is of guilt, and How to locate the offender to make an arrest.   Proactive investigations, on the other hand, are aimed to solve crimes that are ongoing or that may take place in the future. These types of investigations place law enforcement officers in a position to uncover criminal activity, the specifics of which are not known, or where they do not have enough information to charge all whom may be participants in the crime. Another type of pre-arrest investigation includes the prosecutorial investigation, which is generally conducted by a prosecutor. The prosecutor has the power to convene a grand jury (see below for discussion on the grand jury) and, through the power of the grand jury issue a subpoena. Individuals who receive such a subpoena must appear before the grand jury and answer questions that the prosecutor poses in the criminal investigation.  Since the person who received the subpoena does not have counsel present during the questioning, and the entire grand jury proceeding is orchestrated by a prosecutor, it has become routine for grand juries to rubber stamp the recommendations of the prosecutor.     Arrest:   An arrest, of course, is when the law enforcement officer takes a person into custody. Sometimes, the arrest occurs at the scene of a crime. In cases that evolved from reactive or proactive investigations, on the other hand, the officers will obtain an arrest warrant—usually from a magistrate judge—before taking the person into custody.  In some cases, officers will allow the suspect to turn himself in. In other cases, law enforcement officers will make a spectacle. In those cases, the officers use an extreme show of force—frequently with weapons drawn—at an inconvenient time, like the break of dawn or during a person’s work hours.     Booking:   If the person was arrested publicly, the officers will search him. They may search his vehicle, home, or office. They’re looking for contraband, weapons, or evidence of a crime. Then they transport the suspect to a jail, a courthouse, or some other type of holding facility for further processing, or "booking." During the booking procedure, the officers will conduct clerical procedures to memorialize the arrest. They record fingerprints and photograph the suspect (the well-known mug shots). If it's a minor crime, authorities may release the suspect from the holding facility. If the alleged crime is more serious in nature, authorities may hold the suspect for several hours, or even days, until he can appear before a judge who will determine whether bail is appropriate. If the offender is held in lockup, it is likely that he will be ordered to undergo a strip search.     Post-Arrest investigation:   Immediately after the arrest, the post-arrest investigation begins. The first step is when the officers search the person—and possibly his vehicle, home, or office—for evidence that can be used against him. After that, law enforcement officers may conclude that little else needs to be done (in the event that they caught the suspect in the act), or they may continue with many of the same types of techniques used in reactive and proactive investigations, such as interviews and searches.     Deciding to Charge:   When law enforcement officers witness a crime, they make a decision on whether to charge the suspected offender. Then, after the individual has been processed through booking, superior officers may review the arrest and decide whether to allow it to proceed. If the law enforcement agency chooses to proceed with prosecution, the prosecutors will then review the charge. The prosecutor may interview the arresting officer and review the evidence to determine whether the case is worthy of a filing of the criminal charge. Reasons why a prosecutor may decline to file charges include:   Insufficient evidence; Witness difficulties; Due process problems; Alternatives to prosecution; and Diversion programs that enable the suspect to avoid a criminal record.   Even if the prosecutor initially chooses to charge an individual, he may change his decision. Later, he may determine that the charge is not justified or that a lesser charge is more appropriate. In those cases, the prosecutor would have to file a motion before the court detailing the prosecutor's reasons to forego prosecution. The prosecutor would use the same screening factors identified above to determine the appropriateness of such a motion.     Filing the Complaint:   In many cases, if the charges pass the prosecutor's screening, the next step will come when the prosecutor files the complaint, most likely with a magistrate judge. The complaint is usually a fairly brief document, concisely detailing the criminal allegations. When a complaint is used as the charging instrument, someone must sign the complaint under oath indicating that he or she believes the factual allegations of the complaint to be true. Usually it's the victim or the investigating officer who signs the complaint. With the filing of the complaint, the suspect officially becomes a defendant in a criminal proceeding.     Review of the Arrest by Magistrate:   Many jurisdictions appoint magistrate judges to take some of the workload away from trial judges. Among other things, the magistrate judges handle many of the pre-trial matters. After the prosecutor files the complaint with the court, but before the defendant's first appearance, for example, it frequently will be a magistrate judge who reviews the charges against the defendant. If the defendant was arrested without a warrant and remains in custody, the magistrate must determine whether probable cause exists for the defendant's continued detention. In the extremely rare instance that the judge finds that the prosecutor has not established probable cause, the prosecution either must produce more information or release the arrested person.     First Appearance:   With the filing of the complaint, the defendant is brought before the judge "without unnecessary delay." Several hours or several days may pass before the defendant sees a judge, depending on the circumstances.  If a defendant is arrested late on a Friday afternoon, he may not see the judge until the following Monday.  The first appearance is generally a brief proceeding in which the magistrate determines that the person named on the complaint is the person before the court.  After the magistrate is convinced that the appropriate person is present, the judge will read the charges made against the defendant, identify the defendant's rights, and in felony cases, advise the defendant of the next step in the process, which is the preliminary hearing.  The magistrate then sets a date for the preliminary hearing, which the defendant may choose to waive.  The magistrate judge then will ask the defendant to enter a plea; if the defendant pleads not guilty, the judge will set a trial date. Defendants are entitled to have counsel present at every stage of all felony criminal justice proceedings. If the individual cannot afford counsel, the court will provide a court-appointed attorney. A substantial percentage of all felony defendants go through their criminal justice proceedings with court-appointed counsel. These attorneys may work for a public defender service, or they may be in private practice but make themselves available to represent a limited number of indigent defendants. As a practical matter, the indigent defendants who use court-appointed counsel do not have much choice as to which attorney represents them.     Bail:   If the defendant is in custody at the time of his first appearance, one of the most important functions of the proceeding is for the magistrate judge to determine whether bail is appropriate. Bail establishes the conditions under which the defendant can be released from confinement until his case is decided. If the magistrate judge agrees that bail is warranted in the case, he may require the defendant to post bail in cash, with a surety bond, or by signing over a deed to property. The judge also may accept the defendant's personal guarantee that he will present himself for trial. In general, the magistrate is expected to impose such bail conditions as appear reasonably necessary to assure that the defendant will make court appearances as scheduled throughout the criminal justice proceedings. There is a presumption that a defendant is entitled to bail. Unfortunately, in drug cases or other serious offenses, judges refuse to release a defendant on bail. The magistrate generally looks to the seriousness of the crime, the defendant's criminal history, the defendant's risk of flight, and the defendant's ties to the community when deliberating over the appropriate bail conditions.     Preliminary Hearing:   After the first appearance, the next scheduled step is the preliminary hearing. Defendants who choose to plead guilty frequently waive the preliminary hearing. Some jurisdictions allow the prosecutor to bypass the preliminary hearing, which is yet another screening of the charge, by immediately obtaining a grand jury indictment. In jurisdictions that allow preliminary hearings, magistrate judge presides over this first step. Since this phase of the process is adversarial in nature, the defendant should have counsel present to represent him. Generally, during this proceeding, the prosecutor will provide witnesses and the defendant's counsel will have the opportunity to cross-examine. After listening to the proceeding, the magistrate judge will determine whether to advance the case to the next level—which either is a grand jury review or the filing of a criminal information or complaint.     Grand Jury Review:   In the federal system, all felony prosecutions require a grand jury review. The only exception is when the defendant waives this review and agrees to be charged with a criminal complaint or information.  States vary in their requirements for charges. The primary function of the grand jury review is to determine whether sufficient evidence exists to proceed with a trial on the criminal charges. A number of randomly chosen citizens sit on the grand jury panel, usually between 12 and 23. Those grand jurors listen as the prosecution presents its case. The prosecution uses its subpoena power to call witnesses before the grand jury, then questions those witnesses under oath. Witnesses do not have the right to legal counsel during the grand jury proceeding, and there is no cross-examination. Accordingly, the proceeding is really a one-sided show for the prosecution. When the prosecution does persuade the grand jury that there is merit to the criminal charge, the grand jury returns an indictment.  Although the grand jury is said to be a screening device, many in the legal profession ridicule it. Since defendants can’t speak on their own behalf, and targets may not even know that a prosecutor convened a grand jury, prosecutors have their way. They get to build arguments without giving the target an opportunity to respond. For that reason, experts say a prosecutor could use a grand jury to indict a ham sandwich. When a grand jury does issue an indictment, that document is filed with the trial court, replacing the original complaint or accusatory instrument in the case. If a grand jury review was not sought, either because it was not required or it was waived, the prosecutor simply would file the criminal complaint or information with the trial court.     The Arraignment on the Criminal Information, Complaint, or Indictment:   After the accusatory instrument is filed with the trial court, the defendant is brought before the trial court to be informed of the charges against him. The trial court judge will ask the defendant how he pleads. Ordinarily, the options for the defendant are to plead guilty or not guilty. This procedure is known as arraigning the defendant. In most cases, defendants plead not guilty at the earliest stages. This strategy gives the defendant more time to examine the strength of the government's case. It also allows time for the possible negotiation of more favorable conditions under which the defendant will agree to plead guilty—as most defendants eventually do.     Plea Bargaining and Proffers: Prosecutors want defendants to plead guilty. Ultimately, they want a conviction. Trials require substantial amounts of government time and resources. Further, the outcome of a trial is uncertain. Accordingly, prosecutors frequently grant concessions to induce defendants to plead guilty. For example, they may agree to dismiss certain charges, or they may agree not to prosecute a family member. Prosecutors want to avoid the time and expense of a trial. They may invite a defendant to proffer what he would show through trial, or the prosecutorial team may proffer what it could prove during a trial. All of those negotiations are designed to come to an agreement that would avoid a trial. This procedure is frequently called plea bargaining. The prosecutor has the authority to charge a defendant with crimes that carry certain sentences. They also have the ability to recommend certain sentences within the statute or guideline range. In the end, the judge imposes a sentence. Although the judge may listen to the prosecutor's sentencing recommendation, prosecutors do not have the power to bind a judge’s decision. The vast majority of defendants enter guilty pleas. Frequently, defendants that plead guilty spend much of their time in prison second-guessing their decision. Experience convinces us that defendants who know they are guilty are vastly better off:   To accept complete responsibility, To express remorse, To plead guilty at the earliest possible stage, and To work toward an effective sentence-mitigation strategy.   Like all decisions where liberty is at stake, deciding whether to plead guilty is a legal decision that must be made with the guidance of counsel.     Pre-Trial Motions: After the arraignment, attorneys for the defendant may choose to file multiple pretrial motions before the trial court in an effort to help them develop a better understanding of the government's evidence. These motions may:   Attack the charging instrument—either the criminal information or the grand jury process; Ask for an order directing the government to disclose evidence; Request the court to suppress evidence that the defendant believes was obtained in violation of the defendant's Constitutional rights.     The Trial If the case has not been dismissed, and the defendant has not pled guilty, the next step in the criminal justice procedure is the trial. Defendants have a right to a speedy trial, but the defendant may waive that right. The prosecutor may look for excusable opportunities to extend the pretrial time period. Both sides of the adversarial process look for every opportunity to prepare their case. In a typical jurisdiction, it is reasonable to expect five to ten months to pass from the time of arrest until the time the trial begins. Some trials may require only a few hours, others several weeks. Complicated cases may stretch into several months—or even years—before both sides present their closing arguments. Although some defendants choose a bench trial, with only a judge to determine one's guilt or innocence, all felony defendants have the right to a jury trial. In a jury trial, a group of randomly selected citizens is charged with the responsibility of listening to the evidence that the trial judge allows to be presented. The jurors are supposed to presume that the defendant is not guilty of the charges until the trial judge instructs them to begin deliberating on whether the prosecution has proven its case. The trial begins with the voir dire process, which is the questioning of jurors. The judge, and in some jurisdictions the attorneys play a role in questioning the prospective jurors. During voir dire, both the defense and prosecution will try to filter prospective jurors that may be biased against their side. The theory may hold that both sides are seeking justice. In reality, the prosecution is seeking a conviction and the defendant is seeking an acquittal. Each side is looking for the best group of jurors to deliver the desired verdict. The judge will determine how many prospective jurors each lawyer can remove from the potential jury.   Once the jury has been chosen and sworn, the prosecution and the defense may begin with an opening argument. After opening arguments, the prosecution will begin presenting its case, usually with live witnesses whom the defense may then cross-examine. After the prosecution rests, the defense will have an opportunity to present its case and the prosecutor can cross-examine its witnesses. Then, after both sides have rested, the prosecutor will make a closing argument. The defendant's attorney will have an opportunity to make a closing argument. The prosecutor gets the last word, though, in response to the defense attorney's closing argument. Finally, the judge will read a set of instructions to the jury. Once the judge releases the jury to the jury room, members are supposed to start considering all of the evidence as they deliberate on whether the prosecution has proven its case. To obtain a conviction, each member of the jury must find the defendant guilty beyond a reasonable doubt.  Once the jury reaches a verdict, and it’s announced in court, the judge concludes the trial. If it’s a guilty verdict, whether after a trial or as a result of a plea, a series of post-conviction proceedings will follow. In the next chapter, we’ll offer insight on post-conviction proceedings in the criminal justice system.

Patrick, or "Paddy", Cullinane is a serial entrepreneur who has started and sold multiple businesses and developed several software applications in the logistics and supply chain industries. Sam Cullinane began her career climbing corporate ladders to achieve the rank of Chief of Staff of a multi-billion dollar, multi-national company, before leaving that life behind to pursue a career in music, working with Paddy on his endeavors, and joining him to help couples work on their relationship through their podcast, books, speaking a more. Sam and Paddy have been married for over twenty years and they would tell you they are one of the happiest couples they know. But they weren’t always this happy. In fact, after ten years of marriage, they were ready to sign the divorce papers. During the first ten years of their marriage, they struggled through like most people do: trying to navigate life together without any real tools, realizing they were in many ways opposites, fighting often, having sex less and less, distrust and jealousy rearing their ugly heads, and what they believed was falling out of love. They were under tremendous pressure, as many families are these days, raising their two children and each of them pursuing their rigorous careers. In their tenth year of marriage, they decided to call it quits and filed for divorce. After a year apart, against all odds, they decided to get back together. This time they came with new insights including recognition of the things each of them brought to the relationship – good and bad. Both made the necessary changes to successfully start their next chapter. For the last ten years they’ve grown their love, their bond, and created an amazing life together. They became students of love and they never looked back. Their book, released July 2017, Bigger Love – is their story along with tips, tools, and tricks for taking your relationship to a higher, deeper, more satisfying level. Their second book, Marriage: From Miserable to Magnificent, was released in early 2020. Key Points from the Episode with Sam & Paddy Cullinane: Sam and Paddy Cullinane have been married for 23 years, but it’s more a tale of two decades because their marriage had two distinct periods. The first 10 years were separate from the second ten (plus) by a year apart where divorce papers had been signed on the back of growing very far apart. Each of them had this sense that you’re married and are happily ever after with the feeling of butterflies and Eros love, as Hollywood tells us. After year three, that feeling had shifted through the day to day of marriage and raising kids. They had moved closer to Sam’s family, her job had changed to being on the road five days a week while Paddy’s career had ups and downs. Through the grind, they felt that initial ‘fire’ was gone. Sam hit on the idea of how you reignite the fire, but a better question is whether you actually want to go back to that, or if something else would be better. Paddy felt that he was very far down on Sam’s priority list, below things like work, the kids, taking a nap, friends, etc. And Sam felt like she was making the money and doing everything and wasn’t sure why she needed Paddy, who seemed to give her nothing but asking for sex. Sam asked Paddy to move out, and also got the opportunity to move to Spain for work, so she left with the kids. Paddy took the time alone to face things on the encouragement of his cousin, who suggested he look inside himself at his part in the problems. That would serve him if things worked out with Sam or not since he takes himself into both situations. Paddy realized he could be happy with or without Sam. He had started to make more money and shared that and his sense of being the source of his own happiness with Sam, which changed how she saw him. Sam felt like he grew up, and that drew her to him. For Sam, she thought the escape from Paddy and to Spain would make everything better, but she found herself to still not be happy. She was working too much, wasn’t finding relationships that interested her, and realized Paddy wasn’t why she was not happy. Sam’s style was to compartmentalize what she faced in life, which was starting to take its toll as the various issues were filling up inside of her. Paddy’s style is very different, with his unhappiness being front and center. He changed by talking about it while before he would sulk and hope Sam would ask what was wrong. They had gone through the divorce process amicably, and signed the papers. Their lawyer never got around to filing them, though. Roughly a year after splitting up, Paddy was visiting the kids in Spain, and they reconnected. No matter who else they dated or thought about, there’s one thing they have that they wouldn’t with anyone else, and that’s an equal investment in their kids, their health and their futures. That shared unconditional love for their kids can be used to see the good in each other, but only if you look for it. They have taken the second part of their marriage as a chance to learn and grow together, which culminated in their first book, Bigger Love (https://amzn.to/2UoBT1n). They recently published a new version of their work, Marriage: from Miserable to Magnificent (https://amzn.to/39utvSe), which adds scientific facts into the discussion and honesty they shared in the first book. Paddy had previously invested a lot of his happiness in whether Sam was paying attention to him, and in the second half, he had found his own sources of enjoyment that had nothing to do with Sam. And Sam had made decisions about what mattered to her most, and would be ways to make her happy, too. Those ideas formed the basis of non-negotiables for them to come back together in their marriage. Sam’s job had been all encompassing, which isn’t sustainable. She talked about the idea of things like that being in sprints, but not taking over all the time. Paddy added the need to think about why you’re doing that sprint and making that purpose stay front and center (e.g. your kids). We got into the sources of frustration, and used a story about socks. If Paddy left his socks around, Sam would either be annoyed that he left them there, or, if she picked them up, got annoyed that she had to do it. Now, she doesn’t like that they’re there, but she lets go of it. It does not have to matter unless you make it. If he does not pick them up, let it go. If she picks them up for him because having them there bothered her enough, then let it go and don’t be resentful. They’re just socks. And of course some things are bigger than that, but many things ultimately are not. One of their pieces of advice that’s tied to this is “Own It, Don’t Own It.” That really stood out to me. It’s about carrying feelings like this around and taking it personally. If Sam came home from a business trip, and Paddy was excited to see her and had all this anticipation about it but she was exhausted and didn’t reciprocate, he would take it so personally and feel crushed. He was owning her feelings and taking them as being about him, and then it sat heavily with him, taking his happiness. If someone comes home from work and is short with us, we tend to get defensive. We’re owning their feelings. Instead, take a step back and recognize that they may have had a tough day and it seems to impacting how they’re interacting, and then ask them to share what they went through. Note that you’re feeling treated in a way you don’t think you deserve, and might there be something else there that needs to be talked about. If there is something you’ve done that sparked that treatment, then you can know about it, apologize and learn. And if there isn’t, your partner gets a chance to check themselves, apologize, and open up about what’s tough for them. Links: Website: BiggerLove.com Podcast: The Not So Perfect Couple (listen to me on Episode 36) and Doggy Style Sam's TEDx Talk: "Sex: The New Wonder Drug": TEDxNormal and TEDxParkCityWomen Facebook: @BiggerLoveBook Instagram: @notso_perfectcouple Twitter:@biggerlovebook YouTube Subscribe to The Do a Day Podcast    Keep Growing with Do a Day Get Bryan's best-selling first book, Do a Day, which is the inspiration for this show and can help you overcome your greatest challenges and achieve in life. Read Bryan's best-selling second book, The 50 75 100 Solution: Build Better Relationships, to tap into the power we all have to improve our relationships – even the tough ones we feel have no hope of getting better. Get started on your journey to Better with the Big Goal Exercise Work with Bryan as your coach, or hire him to speak at your next event  

Lines in the Sand   Have you ever started treatment on a patient only to regret it later?   We all have.   When I think about the story I'm about to share - and think about some of the other patients where I feel like I lost control a bit - you can put the main problem into one of three categories.   Financial The Practice failed to adequately bill for the services.  Either too much time is being spent in the treatment, or too much money on lab services. The Patient failed to adequately prepare or meet their financial obligations to the practice.  When this happens mid-treatment a lot of conflict can result. The Practice planned and began treatment that was beyond the skill set of the doctor. The Patient is difficult to manage in the chair, or presents certain challenges that the doctor must overcome. Techincal/Clinical The Practice didn't communicate expectations clearly. The Patient didn't communicate expectations clearly [or wasn't given the opportunity] Behavioral   Here's the story:   Samantha has been a patient of the practice for more than 20 years.  Her oral hygiene is impeccable, the value she places on health and oral health is high - and she did not like how her lower teeth were crowding. I also knew that her value for esthetics was high, as were the demands created by her attention to detail. Together, we decided that she was a good candidate for Invisalign -- and we made the appointment to start. Now, we are still analog [for the most part].  She put up the usual fuss about the impressions.  But, was re-assured that this only happens at the beginning and the end. Why did I say that?... Those words were my "kiss of death". Not only did the first set of impressions get rejected [probably because I removed them too soon to ease her discomfort]  But, later she needed a mid-course correction  If that was the only problem, I wouldn't be telling you the story. Sam also couldn't tolerate: the IPR - too sensitive - it hurt a lot the buttons / attachments - how was she supposed to eat the lingual ramps on 7-10 - these had to be removed Sam's discomfort, her willingness to express her discomfort, my desire to make her comfortable and my inability to do so... I felt like I was failing her. If it were just one area, or only at one appointment, I think it wouldn't be such a big deal.  But Every. Single. Appointment.   It got to a point where I just died on the inside when I saw her name on the schedule. If Sam sees this she will probably recognize herself, and I have to say that Sam is a patient that I love seeing.  She is an absolute joy.  Which is why I had to stop and figure out what went wrong with her case.   Going back to those main three reasons, it is obvious to me now that our problem was behavioral.  the trust that she has in our practice was miss-read by me as an understanding of the treatment that she was about to go through.  It's that simple.   Thanks to Sam - I now have two short phrases that I share with every patient.   No Strangers. No Surprises.   These phrases remind me of a sign that might be scribbled out in crayon and hung on the outside of a kids clubhouse. The best part? They open the conversation about how we do things in our office.  How it's different.  And Why they should care. I can think about several points during Sam's treatment that I don't think would have happened if she and I had had a more open conversation about what she should expect. Even at the beginning -- the very first complaint -- I know that if I had stopped what I was doing, sat knee to knee, and explained my fear about her going forward Sam would have either accepted what was coming or said that she wasn't ready for it. Either of those situations would have been better than what we both lived through. For the record, Sam is still in treatment [we are almost done!!!] and she's thrilled with the results [as am I] No Strangers.  No Surprises.  Those phrases have given me an ability to draw my lines in the sand when and where I need to. I can be rigid and dogmatic when appropriate, and I can flex when that's needed as well. I encourage you to reflect on the last time you had a feeling of regret after starting treatment. What area was your challenge in? What could have been better? Was your line in the sand too firm? Not firm enough? Please tell me about it - I'd love to hear.      

Andrew reminds us that we're in the 'highlight reel' phase of our journey, and then poses a really important question: do all those credits after your name actually matter? Sam shares a frustrating experience from the day, and how he reminds himself not to be spineless in those circumstances. If Sam sounds like he's ranting, it's cause he is! Thanks for tuning in.

Today, Trudi Pavlovski takes the mic, and asks Sam the questions on your behalf so you can get to know your show host a little more. In todays episode, learn: What makes Sam tick, and brings her joy? How knowing your values can help you grow your business. Why knowing your childhood cues can be like a crystal ball. If Sam had an escape business, what would it be? For full show notes and links visit:  https://samanthariley.global/podcast/52

Changing things up a little bit, as we do now and then, and on this episode of OMN’s Coffeeshop Conversations…I should tell you, right here at World Cup Coffee and Tea at NW 18th & Gilsan…I’ll be talking with Sam Mowry about a special kind of theater…live radio theater. Say what? You’ll find out. If Sam’s voice sounds familiar, it’s because you’ve heard him on many commercials, but it’s radio drama that’s his greatest love. His Willamette Radio Workshop has a bunch of show coming up soon including, especially for Halloween on Haloween…Macbeth. So let’s meet Sam.

065 | Sam Nebel shares why a MAYBE is worse than a NO! Sam Nebel, AKA The King of All Wipes, is the bodacious co-founder of Goodwipes: a fun, modern and eco-friendly wet wipes brand that empowers people to do more, feel good and live clean. Sam and co. have led their brand to triple digit YoY growth and onto the shelves of Walmart, Container Store, Airport Shops, Academy Sports and more. He has always found himself in quirky entrepreneurial endeavors. Sam likes to read, eat delicious food, exercise, and build the Goodwipes brand. The last time you pitched a prospective client with how you can help serve them & solve their problem, did they immediately answer with a resounding YES? If I had to take a guess, you’d probably say NO. You had to wait for a response. In this week’s episode, Sam Nebel, shares how so much of his entrepreneurial journey has been sitting in the gray area of “maybe.” To Sam, “maybe” is when you’ve pitched yourself to a client (or in Sam’s case the sharks on Shark Tank), and you’re waiting to hear a firm YES or NO. In that waiting period you have to keep your mental fortitude strong, and keep working away at the tasks in your business. You can’t just sit around waiting for the YES or NO. There have been different instances throughout Sam’s business where he thought Goodwipes was a shoe-in for an offer or a spot on the shelves, but they ended up being a NO. One thing Sam didn’t do, was wait around for the firm answer, he kept working really hard at what he wanted for his business. If you’re ready to stop feeling uncomfortable and unsure of yourself every time you don’t get an immediate answer, this episode of Success Unfiltered is a MUST LISTEN! Enjoy, and thank you for listening and tuning into Success Unfiltered! To share your thoughts: Email The Pitch Queen @ hello@thepitchqueen.com Ask a question over at www.ThePitchQueen.com Share Success Unfiltered on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, & LinkedIn To help the show out: Please leave an honest review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews really help and I read each one. Subscribe to the show on iTunes. Special thanks goes out to Sam Nebel for taking the time to chat with Michelle. Be sure to join us next week for our next new episode! P.S. Resilience is KEY. In Business and In Life. Of course, it’s not always easy. Staying positive when you keep hearing NO, focusing on your dreams when the world is stacked against you...none of it is for the faint of heart. How do you keep your eye on the prize? Resilience! My FREE guide will show you 3 Steps To Building Rock-Solid Resilience In Business. Want to make your business dreams come true? Click HERE! Here are a few key secrets we talked about in this episode: Michelle introduces Sam Nebel. Sam shares a quick synopsis of who he is and what he does. Shark Tank provided Sam his first crushing NO. He shares the full story in this interview! Despite thinking they were a shoe-in for a spot on Shark Tank, Sam and his partner Charlie were turned away because of a similar product that was being showcased on the show (Sam even drops the name of the brand. You MUST LISTEN to hear it!) ;) Sam shares his biggest takeaway from being turned down by Shark Tank. “You really have to find mental fortitude to keep pushing through and be prepared for any and all scenarios.” ~ Sam Nebel Goodwipes really wanted to get onto the shelves of Kroeger, they redid their branding and were just waiting for the stars to align. After much waiting, they heard back from their broker representative that Kroeger was not going to bring them in. Listen to this episode for Sam’s FULL story! Sam admits to The Pitch Queen, that he and his partner did not follow-up with Kroeger like they were supposed to, which might have led to them not getting a spot on the shelf. Huge lesson learned here, Royal Family! Learn from Sam. :) Hearing the NO’s may never stop sucking, but Sam shares how he and his partner started moving past them in a much quicker way. A week before I interviewed Sam, he had received his most accomplished NO from Walmart, regarding the products that were in 640 of their stores. Even though Walmart may be dropping some of Goodwipes’ skus, Sam is feeling confident towards a new retailer that they may be working with. Sam talks about getting wild and crazy with their marketing and has even considered dressing up like a woman to hand out his woman’s hygiene wipes. If Sam and his company are able to expand that will signal to other retailers the success they’re having and will hopefully bring in more business. Hearing NO propels Sam to work harder and to figure out how he can get the YES he needs. Sam shares some really amazing advice about what he would tell his younger self. Connect with Sam Nebel: Sam’s Website Instagram Twitter YouTube Facebook P.S. Resilience is KEY. In Business and In Life. Of course, it’s not always easy. Staying positive when you keep hearing NO, focusing on your dreams when the world is stacked against you...none of it is for the faint of heart. How do you keep your eye on the prize? Resilience! My FREE guide will show you 3 Steps To Building Rock-Solid Resilience In Business. Want to make your business dreams come true? Click HERE! Music produced by Deejay-O  www.iamdeejayo.com  

This is part 2 or my heartwarming and inspiring conversation with Sam Norman about her lifelong healing crisis with autoimmune disease and thyroid cancer. She has shifted from rock bottom to a place of peace, acceptance and deep inner healing. At the expense of repeating myself, here is what Sam’s journey is about: When you look at Sam Norman today you would never guess that she has endured over 30 years of chronic health crisis. Since the first year of her life, she has been in constant companionship of doctors. At age 1, she was diagnosed with severe digestive challenges. Hashimoto’s disease was diagnosed at age 13, a vascular autoimmune diagnosis came at age 27, thyroid cancer at 31. She has had seven surgeries throughout her life including a brain surgery at age 9. She was convinced several  times that she was going to die. Her case was so interesting, the doctors asked her to be a “case study”. She agreed but started feeling like a number. Growing up in a loving family of medical practitioners, with  her parents being an MD and a nurse, her treatment plan included all but Western medical protocols until the age of 21. Western medicine saved her life yet she was far from being healed. When she got the cancer diagnosis at age 31 she hit rock bottom. And the only place to go when you sink that low is to rise up. Cancer led her to seek out other avenues for support, other healing methods, a different viewpoint. What she yearned for was to been seen, to be asked “How is Sam?” Tune in to hear Sam’s heartwarming, and incredible story of healing. If Sam can heal, so can you!   What you get from tuning in: How a Western Doctor healed his severely mentally diseased patients with a traditional Hawaiian practice Aligning with life vs disease The difference between treating a disease vs. healing it How to know you have been healed The power of following your deep inner guidance vs the order of your doctor The mental record of “you could do better’ and the role of self love The vibratory levels of emotions The necessity of embracing your emotions       Visit my Website  Join my private Facebook Group  Watch the free video series 5 secrets to a Better Menopause Upgrade your body experience. Apply for Body Joy  

My sexual orientation is that I like people, with Corrina Gordon-Barnes The how of a dream relationship Imagine if you said to your partner, “There’s nothing that you can do wrong. If I’m ever irritated with you, resentful of you, disappointed with you, that is 100% for me to resolve.” Find out more about Corrina’s radical approach to happy relationships, why it works, and what it takes.   The liberation of taking responsibility How did you get to doing what you do now? I got really really peaceful in my relationships. I realized that this is really rare. I broke through to this whole new level of peace where I said to my wife, “There is literally nothing that you can do that is wrong. If I’m ever irritated with you, resentful of you, disappointed with you, that is 100% for me to resolve.” It doesn’t mean I don’t get triggered. It means I have a very fast way of getting to peace. It just takes one person. It is hopeless to try and get the other person to change. If Sam suddenly decides to give me exactly what I want, that is a bonus. But it’s not required for me to be happy. I have taken the responsibility and liberation on me. Just take that responsibility yourself and give yourself what you want.   Detaching from the stories What were some challenges on your own path that enabled you to go deeper? I realized it’s just not going to work if I keep thinking I want and need something from her. I’m just going to be disappointed, frustrated. She is my soul mate. I feel that we are meant to be together. The core of our relationship is right. How do you know that at the core your relationship is right? How are you so convinced? When the stories are gone, there is just a silence in my head. I had doubts over the years. Doubts are the stories. When I have worked my thoughts, I have taken a thought that has caused frustration or disappointment, asked whether it is true. Is that what I need in order to be peaceful and happy in this relationship? What would this moment with this beautiful woman be like without my story in the way? Questioning the stories that build up. They are just stories, they are not true.   Process to stillness What does it take for you to get to the point where you can see the story from what it is and detach from it? The very first stage is to actually have a rant. Write down everything about your partner that you think is their fault. Really get mean with this. You have to get them on paper to see what you’re actually dealing with. The next step is to find stillness. I meditate. Observe those thoughts and see that they are thoughts. They are not facts. They are like these strings of words that appear in your mind. Then you start to get that separation from them. Be aware of where you are arguing for your pain. People can tolerate huge amounts of pain if they think that is the only option. When you start seeing that pain is not obligatory, if you can see that your thoughts are causing that pain then you can begin to move beyond that.   Giving away our power I imagine you haven’t always been in this peaceful place. Can you share a little bit about the mistakes you made early on, maybe different relationships? I had one significant relationship before Sam. I looked to him for everything. My world got very very small. He was going to fulfill all my needs. I didn’t need to stay connected to my friends. I tuned everything out. I made him everything. I lost myself completely. I didn’t have the self-love, so I was looking for it in him. I definitely was not living my personal power. I was a teenager. I didn’t love myself. I didn’t think I was amazing. So when someone came along that seemed to love me, of course I was going to leap onto that horse and ride away into that subset.   There is no need to have needs This whole idea of us having needs in itself is to be questioned. I can take care of myself, love myself, be there for myself. Anything my partner does is a bonus. This is a thing I have really discovered, is how grateful I am. When you acknowledge that you actually don’t have needs that have to be fulfilled by this person, then everything that they actually do for you is such a gift. It puts you in a place of appreciation, love and gratitude, as opposed to a place of expectation and disappointment. We think we have needs, we think that our partner’s job is to meet those needs. They then don’t meet those needs because they are human, and then we feel frustrated, disappointed, bitter, and resentful. I had a friend who said, “Expectations are premeditated resentments." What if I went into a situation with no expectations? There is no past to compare with, there is no future to compare with, there is no other person to compare with, there is no fictional wife or husband that I am comparing with. Just seeing what is happening. Just watch what is actually happening, rather than comparing it with the script. That is what peace is, when you are just in yourself, not trying to change his world.   Accepting your authentic self I understand that you identify as bisexual. Can you share a little bit about how this has been for you recognizing that your sexual orientation was not straight? I was boy-mad in my teens. I liked boys. But I also liked girls. Because I also liked boy, I thought, “I will just go out with boys. That’s just what you do," When I was in my 20s, I met Sam – my wife. I just fell in love with her. It was meant to be, soulmate, destiny. We argued the very time we met. We say we were annoyed at each other that we hadn’t met each other until then. Gender was not relevant. My sexual orientation is that I like people. I have never had a problem with it. It has always been easy for me. I feel very grateful for that. That is my vision, we don’t see gender so much. We are just people. We all have these minds that project onto the people we are with. Whether we are male or female or identify as a different gender, it is just humans trying to love humans the best we can.   Transcending assumptions I remember the very first Valentine’s Day I got with Sam. I went into the card shop. I could not find a card that did not have a man and a woman on the front of it. I had no idea because until then all the cards I have ever bought were for men. That’s when I realized it is not even people being prejudice that creates challenge. It is when we make assumptions. Being with Sam, people assume that I am gay. I say to them, “I am not gay, but my wife is," How do you find yourself living with these assumptions being imposed on you? I experience it with a lot of love, compassion, and lightness. People are innocent.   We believe what we believe. I don’t think people want to hurt other people. They just haven’t questioned certain thoughts, certain assumptions.   Being compassionate to your truth Do you have any advice for people who are in the process of coming out right now? My process if about questioning the thought. The thought that would stop someone from coming out is, “They are going to reject me, they are not going to love me," Where am I doing that to myself? Am I hating myself? Am I rejecting myself? Am I loving myself? Finding peace with, this is who you are, this is your beautiful self. This is your truth, and anything that is not your truth is going to feel off and wrong.   Our favorite tips from Corrina Question your thoughts, “Is it true?” Thoughts are not facts, they are just strings of words that come up in our mind. Question the idea of having needs in relationships. View what your partner does for you as a gift, as opposed to an expectation. Let go of your relationship expectations, and instead be with your partner in that moment. Find the magnificence in your partner and in that moment together. Find peace in your authentic self. Love and be compassionate to yourself.   Quotes “I have taken the responsibility and liberation on me.” “If we want to grow, we want all of it.” “What am I living to get back into my personal power?” “I can take care of myself, love myself, be there for myself, and then anything my partner does is a bonus on top of that.” “When you start seeing that pain is not obligatory, if you can see that your thoughts are causing that pain then you can begin to move beyond that.” “What if I went into a situation with no expectations? There is no past to compare with, there is no future to compare with, there is no other person to compare with, there is no fictional wife or husband that I am comparing with. I am just seeing what is happening.” “That is my vision, we don’t see gender so much.” “Whether we are male or female or identify as a different gender, it is just humans trying to love humans the best we can.” “We believe what we believe. I don’t think people want to hurt other people. They just haven’t questioned certain thoughts, certain assumptions.” “Anything that is not your truth is going to feel off and wrong.”   Resources and Links: Visit her website: www.corrinagordonbarnes.com   Did you enjoy the show? Let us know your biggest takeaways in the comments. If you like what we’re doing, please subscribe to #InChargeShow in iTunes and leave us a review and a 5-star rating, to help more women who won’t settle find us. Follow the links to take the quizzes we discussed on the show: www.yourtrueselfie.com www.inchargequiz.com In the free report at the end of each quiz, you’ll get an invitation to join our Facebook community. I hope you accept it. I look forward to connecting with you soon! Until then, Stay in your heart. xx Valerie In this episode, we talk about: woman, entrepreneur, relationship, bisexual, gay, lesbian, coming out, truth, marriage, happy, peaceful, love, wisdom, authentic, rules, liberation

Episode 92 topics... 1. The snooze button is like being a hostage 2. Morning mask invention 3. Sam's asshole 5AM text 4. If Sam had a kid, he would do a lot of screaming 5. Sam says that Abe sleeps like a dog 6. Abe wants to put up signs with rules at his gym 7. People who still use checks 8. Sludge sent Abe a creepy check with a virtual slap in the face 9. Game of Thrones finale recap 10. George RR Martin loves YouPorn --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/abekanan/support

Episode 82 topics... 1. Abe tagged multiple times on $1 sub story 2. Abe trying to change the time of daily bathroom emergency 3. Thumb in belly button technique 4. Harriet Tubman on the $20 talk 5. Why does anyone care about Andrew Jackson 6. Going to a concert in 1996 compared to 2016 7. If Sam was a rock star he would be the biggest jerk ever 8. People who ask for more free stuff, when offered free stuff 9. People who say they are leaving Facebook for a while 10. Pay Pal is the currency of shady transactions --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/abekanan/support

SUMMARYEver eaten golden catheads for breakfast? Yum! A listener shares this Southern term for big, fluffy biscuits. Also, how did people greet each other before "hello" became a standard greeting of choice? What does it mean if someone's fair to middling? How do you pronounce the word bury? Is the phrase whether or not redundant? Should we use try to or try and? And if Sam and them are coming, who exactly is "them"? Plus, Grant and Martha share some classic riddles, and Quiz Guy Greg Pliska has a game of animal name mash-ups.FULL DETAILSWhat happens when you throw a yellow rock into a purple stream? It splashes. (Ba-dump-bum.) Grant and Martha share this and other favorite riddles, some with deceptively obvious answers.Why do we pronounce bury like berry and not jury? The word originates in the Old English term byrgan, and the pronunciation apparently evolved differently in different parts of England. Grant explains why many terms go mispronounced if we read things without hearing them out loud.What do you say when you answer the telephone? On the NPR science blog, "Krulwich Wonders," Robert Krulwich notes that hello did not become a standard greeting until the mid-19th Century, when the Edison Company recommended the word as a proper phone greeting. Before that, English speakers used a variety of phrases depending on the circumstance, from hail to how are you? One thing's certain: If we'd followed Alexander Graham Bell's recommendation, we'd all be greeting each other with "Ahoy!" http://n.pr/gscLCAA riddle, a riddle, I suppose, a thousand eyes and never a nose. Nothing shakes up the dinner table conversation like a good potato riddle!Greg Pliska, musical director for the Broadway show War Horse and our very own Quiz Guy, has a puzzle about Animal Hybrid Phrases combining two common expressions involving animals. For example, what do you get when stuffed animal stocks go down? A Teddy Bear Market.Here's a link to Greg's musical bio on the Lincoln Center website:http://bit.ly/gt9h84Ever had golden catheads for breakfast? A native of Tennessee wonders about the origin of this term meaning "biscuit"--specifically, ones that are light, fluffy, and about the size of, well, a cat's head. Martha explains how the names of many foods derive from their resemblance to other things--a head of cabbage, for example.A listener has spent the last 30 years looking for the origin of the playful phrase "you're the berries." This affectionate expression first appears in literature in the 1908 book Sorrows of a Showgirl, then made its way into popular slang by the 1920s. However, it seems to disappear during the next decade, and it remains only as a relic heard in the vernacular of those who lived during the era. http://bit.ly/gyF9TVShould we use try and or try to? Merriam-Webster's Dictionary of English Usage says it's grammatically permissible to try and go to the store, or to ask someone to try and speak up. However, a fan of formality ought to stick with try to. Still, Grant warns against trying to force logic on the English language by creating rules that don't exist.http://bit.ly/cQrxPxhttp://bit.ly/eydxnNWhoever makes it tells it not. Whoever takes it knows it not. Whoever knows it wants it not. What is it? Martha shares this old riddle.The question of how children acquire language has long intrigued parents and scholars.  MIT cognitive scientist Deb Roy recently found a novel way to study what he calls "word birth."  He wired his home with cameras and microphones, and recorded his infant son's every utterance as he grew into toddlerhood. He then combined the 90,000 hours of video and 140,000 hours of audio into some astonishing montages. Dr. Roy shared his findings at a TED conference.http://bit.ly/eaKVBSMore visuals and audio from the study in this article from Fast Company:http://bit.ly/hOOf3ZIf you're fair to middling, you're doing just fine. A native of the Tennessee mountains wonders about the origin of this phrase her good-humored grandfather used. As it turns out, fair to middling was one of the many gradations a farmer would hear in the 19th Century when they'd bring in their crop--usually cotton-- to be priced and purchased. Is the phrase whether or not redundant? Well, take this sentence: "Whether or not you like it, Martha is dressing as a ballerina." Would that sound right without the or not? Now, the or not is technically redundant, but depending on the case, it's best to pick the wording that won't distract the reader or listener. http://bit.ly/91hA3JOnly the grass dies when elephants fight. This Liberian proverb is a reminder that it's the powerless who suffer when governments or factions fight. If Sam and them are going to be here after while, can the "and them" mean just one additional person? In some parts of the country, it could be Sam's wife, or Sam's entire softball team. A listener from Texas shares this charming colloquialism. What goes 99, clump? If you woke up at night and scratched your head, what time would it be? Grant has the answers to those riddles.--A Way with Words is funded by its listeners: http://waywordradio.org/donateGet your language question answered on the air! Call or write with your questions at any time:Email: words@waywordradio.orgPhone: United States and Canada toll-free (877) WAY-WORD/(877) 929-9673London +44 20 7193 2113Mexico City +52 55 8421 9771Donate: http://waywordradio.org/donateSite: http://waywordradio.org/Podcast: http://waywordradio.org/podcast/Forums: http://waywordradio.org/discussion/Newsletter: http://waywordradio.org/newsletter/Twitter: http://twitter.com/wayword/Skype: skype://waywordradio Copyright 2011, Wayword LLC.

The gang turned on the recorder on while waiting for the pies to finish so here is a little extra drunken laughs. There is some Dr. Doc and we run through some really bad decade lists. If Sam seems a little disconnected its because he is desperately trying to get his computer working. It was a day of technical difficulties and we were drunk, but there is some pretty funny stuff on this extra snipit. Call the comment line at (206) 309-7308. Visit insignificast.com. Get the intoxicomedy guys at intoxicomedy@yahoo.com. Thanks for listening.