Podcasts about corrina gordon barnes

Faced with a difficult situation, we often ask the question “should I stay or should I go?” It could be about work, a relationship, or something more personal. We all face this question at various times in our life, and it can be overwhelming to make a choice when we're scared of the unknown.This week, we're revisiting a discussion with Corrina Gordon-Barnes, about how to tackle the decision-making process. Instead of relying on traditional methods like pros and cons lists or seeking advice from others, Corrina suggests a different approach, which involves noticing the difference between facts and thoughts, and recognising when we have the power to leave rather than simply tough it out.When we keep ourselves trapped in the limbo of indecision, when we're neither fully committed nor able to make a decisive choice, this can leave us frustrated and angry. Those frustrations can boil over into our home and work lives, or make an uncomfortable situation even worse.But by taking a moment to reflect on our current situation, we can start the process of questioning and gaining clarity, therefore revealing the choices we do have.Listen to this episode toLearn how to make difficult decisions when facing a dilemma of staying or leaving a situation, whether it's work, relationships, or friendshipsUnderstand the importance of questioning your thoughts and beliefs that may be causing stress and hindering decision-makingDiscover a fresh perspective on decision-making and a simple technique to gain clarity and make informed choicesEpisode highlights[00:04:13] The importance of belonging[00:06:42] Making a difficult decision[00:13:31] Separating fact from thought[00:16:26] Counteracting the "That's just the way it is" story[00:21:57] Questioning your stories[00:28:58] Acceptance[00:33:05] Shoulds[00:35:36] You have a choice[00:44:33] What are the consequences of not doing what we "ought"?[00:49:03] Corrina's top 3 tipsAbout the guestDr Corrina Gordon-Barnes, CPCC, coaches new managers in time management and giving effective feedback. She's passionate about seeing workplaces where colleagues speak honestly, give and receive feedback gracefully, and act with integrity. She believes these environments make it much easier to be innovative and effective, hit deadlines, and create the most powerful impact.LinkedIn | Facebook | Instagram | WebsiteResourcesTHRIVE Weekly PlannerDownload the Zone of Power handoutMore episodes of You Are Not a Frog:How to take control of your thoughts – Episode 32, with Corrina Gordon-BarnesDownload the episode's workbook and CPD form. You can use them for reflection and to submit for your appraisal.The Work of Byron...

The Christmas season can be a time of stress and disappointment, especially when our expectations don't match up with reality. We can find ourselves dealing with difficult family members, feeling overwhelmed with work and family obligations, or experiencing a general sense of dissatisfaction.But there's plenty we can do to make the festive period more enjoyable and less overwhelming.This week, we're revisiting a previous conversation on the podcast, with Corrina Gordon-Barnes. In her chat with Rachel, you'll learn how to turn expected disappointments into a game of bingo, set realistic expectations, and exercise some self-compassion.By taking proactive steps, we can create a more positive and fulfilling Christmas experience.Listen to this episode toLearn strategies to cope with the expectations and negative experiences that come with the holiday seasonDiscover the concept of playing "Christmas Bingo" to approach disappointments with humour and acceptanceGain insights on how to navigate triggering situations and avoid falling into familiar patterns of conflictEpisode highlights[00:03:59] Christmas disappointments[00:09:02] Christmas Bingo[00:13:30] What you can do to avoid disappointent[00:16:19] Playing out the old dances[00:21:33] Your zone of power[00:27:15] Lowering your expectations[00:39:20] Self-compassion in the face of disappointment[00:43:39] Hunt the Pony[00:44:51] Handling regret[00:49:22] Corrina's top 3 tipsAbout the guestDr Corrina Gordon-Barnes, CPCC, coaches new managers in time management and giving effective feedback. She's passionate about seeing workplaces where colleagues speak honestly, give and receive feedback gracefully, and act with integrity. She believes these environments make it much easier to be innovative and effective, hit deadlines, and create the most powerful impact.LinkedIn | Facebook | Instagram | WebsiteResourcesTHRIVE Weekly PlannerShould I Stay or Should I Go? – Episode 89 with Corrina Gordon-BarnesHow to Ditch the Saviour Complex and Feel More Alive – Episode 88 with Rob BellDownload the episode's workbook and CPD form. You can use them for reflection and to submit for your appraisal.Enjoyed this episode?Write a review and share this with your friends.Connect with RachelHave any questions? Contact Rachel through these platforms:LinkedIn: @Dr-Rachel-MorrisTwitter: @DrRachelMorrisEmail: hello@youarenotafrog.com

On this episode of You Are Not a Frog, our guest, Corrina Gordon-Barnes, joins us to discuss the challenges working mothers face in traditional family units. The conversation sheds light on the value of self-compassion, learning to navigate negative emotions, and striking a balance between work and family life. This episode is for everyone involved in parenting, not just mothers. It's not just women who experience mum guilt!For a new perspective on mum guilt and actionable advice for a healthy balance between career and family life, don't miss out on this invaluable conversation with our guest, Karina Gordon.Here are three reasons why you should listen to the full episode:Recognise and navigate feelings of shame and mum guilt in your parenting journey.Discover the role of self-compassion and reparenting in achieving a balanced life.Understand the impact of societal norms and social media on our emotional state as parents.Episode Highlights[03:39] The Challenges of Motherhood and Mum Guilt[07:50] The Impact of Perfectionism and Shame in Parenting[12:06] Challenges and Mum Guilt in Parenting[21:08] Understanding Shame and Overcoming Negative Emotions[29:57] Challenges and Strategies for Working Moms[40:56] Coping with Guilt and Shame in the Work-Life Balance Struggle[48:16] Top Tips for Overcoming Mum Guilt and ShameResourcesSolve for Happy by Mo GawdatConnect with Corrina: Website | Instagram | ​Twitter | LinkedInWant to learn more from Corrina? Listen to these previous You're Not a Frog Podcast episodes: Episode 121: How to Be a Happy Working Parent Episode 104: How to Cope with Nightmare Relatives and Colleagues Without Losing the Plot Episode 89: Should I Stay or Should I Go?Episode 32: How to Take Control of Your Thoughts We're releasing a FREE mini-series this May and June about how healthcare teams can set better boundaries and love their work! Check it out here: THRIVE Weekly PlannerEnjoyed This Podcast?Write a review and share this with your friends.Connect With MeHave any questions? Contact Rachel through these platforms:LinkedIn: @Dr-Rachel-Morris Twitter:

Do you look forward to Christmas holidays or other family celebrations only to be disappointed that reality is not what you had hoped it would be? Or has life not worked out as expected, and you're struggling with regrets and disappointment? How do we deal with feeling disappointed, especially with the upcoming holidays?In this 2022 Christmas Special of You Are Not A Frog, executive coach and relationship expert Corrina Gordon-Barnes joins us to explain several approaches to dealing with life's disappointments. She builds on her years of experience as an executive coach and relationship expert to share the value of self-compassion and give simple tools we can use to turn disappointment into a learning experience. If you're perpetually being disappointed every holiday season, this episode might be for you!3 reasons why you should listen to the full episode:Learn the value of self-compassion to overcome being disappointed.Find out why bad experiences can actually be good motivators. Get practical tips on how to handle disappointment (and other negative emotions!)Episode Highlights[06:02] Disappointed During Holidays[17:43] Practising Your ‘Scripts' and ‘Dances'[20:59] The Power of Requests[29:38] Handle Expectations, Prevent Being Disappointed[35:34] Embracing Feeling Disappointed and Negative Emotions[40:43] Finding Self-Compassion[44:56] The Value of Regret[51:19] Top Three Tips to Handle Being DisappointedResourcesFind out more about our next Off Grid retreat.Get access to webinars designed for leaders in health and social care fields to help their teams deal with stress, overwhelm and heavy workloads here. Download our FREE 'How to retreat when you can't go on retreat recipes'Listen to Corrina's previous episodes: Should I Stay or Should I Go? with Corrina Gordon-BarnesHow to Ditch the Saviour Complex and Feel More Alive with Rob BellThe Power of Regret: How Looking Backward Moves Us Forward by Daniel PinkLearn more about Corrina's work on her website. Connect with Corrina on her LinkedIn, Facebook, and Instagram.Enjoyed This Podcast?Write a review and share this with your friends.Connect With MeHave any questions? Contact Rachel through these platforms:LinkedIn: @Dr-Rachel-Morris Twitter: @DrRachelMorrisEmail: hello@youarenotafrog.comFind out more about our training here.Support the show

In the second of our Summer replays, join Corrina Gordon-Barnes to learn how to make better decisions by taking a different perspective; the key to creating more fulfilling relationships; and how to stay in your “Zone of Power” when it comes to the big decisions in life.Episode 89Podcast linksSign up for the FREE Summer Holiday Working Survival Guide!Check out the Permission to Thrive CPD membership for doctorsSign up now for the Shapes Toolkit Programs to help you take control of your workload, feel better, and beat burnout.Check Corrina's previous episode on You Are Not A Frog:E32: How to take control of your thoughts with Corrina Gordon-BarnesThe Work of Byron KatieStay within your zone of power through the Zone of Power handout.​​Visit Corrina's website or follow her on Instagram, ​​Twitter, and LinkedIn.For more updates and episodes, visit the You Are Not A Frog website.You can also tune in on Google Podcasts, Apple Podcasts or Spotify.Sign up here to receive a link to the episode workbook and CPD form downloads for each podcast. You can use them for reflection and to submit for your appraisal.You can also join the Shapes Collective Facebook group where we chat about the hot topics and regularly post interesting articles. Have any questions?Contact Rachel through these platforms:LinkedIn: @Dr-Rachel-MorrisTwitter: @DrRachelMorrisEmail: hello@youarenotafrog.comFind out more about our training here.Find out more about this episode here: https://youarenotafrog.com/summer-replay-episode-2/Support the show

In this episode, Corrina Gordon-Barnes joins us to discuss the common struggles of working parents and the things we need to unlearn. She shares how to take radical responsibility as a parent and delegate responsibilities from housework to emotional load. We also teach you how to stay in your zone of genius and accept help when you need it. It's time to live a life you love and enjoy, even amidst all your responsibilities!If you're struggling to balance work and parenting, stay tuned to this episode.Here are three reasons why you should listen to the full episode:Learn how to let go of unhealthy thoughts and behaviours like parenting guilt, rescuer tendencies, and gender normative expectations.Discover the importance of delegating housework and the family's emotional load.Understand how staying in your zone of genius can make you happier.Episode Highlights[04:55] Introducing Corrina[07:54] Struggles of Working Parents[13:04] Differences in Becoming a Parent[16:03] How to Manage Parenting Guilt[19:04] Balancing Responsibilities[26:28] Delegating at Home[30:42] The Dangers of Being a Rescuer[35:30] Why You Need to Have a Coach Mindset[38:35] How to Have an Easier Life as a Working Parent[40:35] Why It's Important to Stay in Your Zone of Genius[45:37] Corrina's Top 3 TipsResourcesTake part in our survey all about saying no.Connect with Corrina: Website | Instagram | ​Twitter | LinkedInWant to learn more from Corrina? Listen to these previous You're Not a Frog Podcast episodes: Episode 104: How to Cope with Nightmare Relatives and Colleagues Without Losing the Plot Episode 89: Should I Stay or Should I Go?Episode 32: How to Take Control of Your Thoughts    The Big Leap: Conquer Your Hidden Fear and Take Life to the Next Level by Gay Hendricks THRIVE Weekly PlannerEnjoyed This Podcast?Write a review and share this with your friends.Connect With MeHave any questions? Contact Rachel through these platforms:LinkedIn: @Dr-Rachel-Morris Twitter: @DrRachelMorrisEmail: rachel@wildmonday.co.ukFind out more about our training here.Support the show

This week, Keri is speaking with Corrina Gordon Barnes, a coach and trainer in the UK. She's a relationship expert and shares her insights on so many great topics including: how to navigate the 'should I stay or should I go' dilemma (e.g. in a friendship, work or romantic relationship), what to do when you've changed and the people around you have not, how dealing with food pushers is an inside job and what to do when people give you unwanted comments about your body or the way you're eating. Get the full show notes and more information here: https://thewlcc.com/39

Holidays and celebrations often come with their own set of obstacles and difficulties. Our idea of a perfect holiday never happens because our own assumptions and unrealistic expectations get in the way and lead to an environment filled with conflict.In this special Christmas episode, Corrina Gordon-Barnes shows us the groundwork for setting a peaceful and successful holiday season while navigating difficult relationships with relatives or colleagues. She guides us through taking off the expectation of a perfect holiday with our family and facing reality in ourselves and others. Corrina talks about the ways you can act within your zone of power to resolve conflict. She also walks us through what we can do during difficult gatherings and how to shift routine actions to create different outcomes.It's the season for countless gatherings and reunions. Tune in to improve your strained relationships with relatives and co-workers through empathy and letting go of past assumptions.Here are three reasons why you should listen to the full episode:Learn how to make people meet your wants and needs without resorting to manipulation.Discover how to reframe your assumptions and biases about yourself and other people.Find out how to recognise when you're being difficult and what you can do to resolve the conflict.ResourcesCheck out our Permission to Thrive CPD membership for doctors!Get in touch by sending an email: hello@youarenotafrog.comConnect with Corrina Gordon-Barnes: Website | Instagram | Twitter | LinkedInSolve for Happy: Engineer Your Path to Joy by Mo Gawdat: Amazon | WebsiteCheck out our Permission to Thrive CPD membership for doctorsFind out more about the Shapes Toolkit training, talks, and workshopsJoin the Shapes Collective Facebook group:Rachel's LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-rachel-morris/Rachel's Twitter: https://twitter.com/DrRachelMorrisRachel's email: rachel@wildmonday.co.ukEpisode Highlights[05:42] Corrina's Background [07:18] Celebrating the Holiday with Difficult Family Members[09:54] Facing Reality Without Lowering Your Expectations[13:57] Dealing with Teenagers and Tablets over Christmas[16:01] How to De-escalate Uncomfortable Conversations [19:31] What to Do When Their Answer Is No[21:21] How to Keep Your Boundaries [23:34] Expecting the Pushback and Having Empathy Without Being Patronising[29:10] Dealing with Difficult Work Relationships[37:54] Confirmation Bias in Relatives and Work Colleagues [39:35] Approach Others by Letting Go of the Past[42:33] What You Need to Do If You're the Difficult Person[46:37] Live with Your Experience of Yourself and Making Allowances[51:09] Shift the Dance and Change Your Perspective[52:18] Tips to Deal with Difficult Relatives and Colleagues[53:06] Rachel's TakeawaysSupport the show (https://youarenotafrog.com)

Corrina Gordon-Barnes joins us to share how to better relationships and take control and stay in your zone of power. She explains how to make a good decision by questioning your thoughts and assumptions.Highlights[04:42] Corrina's Coaching JourneyFor 16 years, Corrina has been coaching and helping people find what they wanted to do.Our amygdala doesn't just function as a threat detection system; it also seeks connection and belonging.Because we want to fit in, we sometimes do things we don't want to do or stay in toxic relationships.[09:07] How to Better RelationshipsFirst, be compassionate with anybody caught in the dilemma of choosing between staying or leaving.Corrina also discourages asking others about their opinion. Instead of listing pros and cons, list down all your judgments or complaints about the thing you're thinking of leaving. Then, make another list of all of your fears about leaving.[18:53] Staying in Your Zone of Power Rather than denying reality, it's more empowering to accept it as it is and to focus on what you can control. What's in your zone of power often takes vulnerability and courage.[24:00] Questioning ThoughtsFirst, have compassion for your predicament. Then list your reasons, complaints and fears about the situation.With more varying evidence, you would understand your problem from a more multidimensional perspective and learn how to better relationships. [29:22] About Acceptance and Why People StayPeople tend to remain in their jobs or romantic relationships when they've learned to accept and stay in their zone of power.The things that are ours to do require courage, and the things that are other people's involve acceptance.[44:30] Making Choices in our Zone of PowerWhen you stay firm in your zone of power, you stay authentic and truthful to yourself.Think of a courageous conversation or action that you can do to reframe the problem at hand.[51:32] Top 3 Tips for Deciding Whether to Stay or LeaveFirst, be compassionate with yourself that you're in that difficult position.Second, list your complaints and fears, then recognise that they're thoughts that aren't unquestionable.Lastly, verify your thoughts, and identify the things you can do that are within your zone of power. These include acceptance and having the courage to make changes. Enjoyed This Podcast?Write a review and share this with your friends.Sign up for a FREE workbook.Join the Shapes Collective Facebook group.Find out more about our training here.Email Rachel or reach her on LinkedIn or Twitter.Podcast LinksCheck out the Permission to Thrive CPD membership for doctors!E32: How to take control of your thoughts with Corrina Gordon-BarnesThe Work of Byron KatieStay within your zone of power with Zone of Power handout.Support the show (https://youarenotafrog.com)

In this episode, Rachel is joined by Corrina Gordon Barnes, a Certified Professional Coactive Coach (CPCC), facilitator of The Work and trained teacher.We chat about how, during the coronavirus crisis, some of our thoughts and ways of thinking can be causing us needless suffering. Corrina has discovered a practice called ‘The Work’ which has been transformational in her life and now uses this approach to help people question their thoughts and limit the suffering that they may be experiencing as a result. So often in our lives we are plagued by thoughts of ‘it shouldn’t be this way’, ‘it’s not fair’, ‘they should do this or that’. Corrina explains why arguing with reality is never successful and talks us through the simple yet profound process that can free us from these anxious thoughts. Corrina is facing the loss of her grandmother and we use the work to talk through this scenario; she also shares how this process has helped her to come to terms with the loss of her baby son Alfie over the last couple of years.We are sending out a weekly email with new resources, tips and useful content especially for doctors and healthcare professionals throughout the COVID-19 crisis. If you’d like to receive this and other resources about thriving at work then please sign up hereYou can watch this podcast episode on YouTube herePodcast linksFind out more about Corrina’s work here https://corrinagordonbarnes.com Here’s Byron Katie’s website all about The Work https://thework.com BMA Wellbeing Service https://www.bma.org.uk/advice/work-life-support/your-wellbeingThe NHS Practitioner Health Programme https://www.practitionerhealth.nhs.uk/Sign up for downloadable CPD reflection forms plus more tools and resourcesFor more episodes of You are not a frog, check out our website You Are Not A Frog Podcasts and sign up to our mailing list here for loads of useful resources about thriving at work. You can also join the Shapes Collective Facebook group where we chat about the hot topics and regularly post interesting articlesFollow Rachel on twitter @DrRachelMorris or LinkedIn and find out more about her online and face to face courses for doctors on surviving and thriving at work at www.shapesfordoctors.com or for other organisations at www.shapestoolkit.co.uk Support the show (https://shapesfordoctors.com/)

The Friction Free podcast series is brought to you by Onefish Twofish: www.onefishcomms.co.ukIn this 45-minute conversation with Corrina Gordon-Barnes - founder, coach and practitioner in reducing relationship friction - you will hear:The mental soundtrack that causes all of the friction in our relationships and gets in the way of feeling connected and ‘being ok’ as a personHow we give power to the other person, making them the reason why we don’t feel ok - and why we have to stop this (hard, hard, hard - or is it?!)Learn how our expectations set up resentment for the future and, whilst they might be reasonable, they take out into fiction and outside our own zone of power .. and into stress and frustrationDiscover a step by step process for working with that mental soundtrack to break its power over us, get into stress-free reality and making progress towards what we DO want rather than fighting what we DON’T want.And why acceptance is the opposite of being passive (bear with us!) and takes us INTO our power***Listen to A live coaching session with Carrie, working through a real scenario for real using this process***We reference:Byron Katie and The WorkFind Corrina via Onefish Twofish and at her relationship website:www.corrinagordonbarnes.comOn Twitter @CorrinaGBYou can find Onefish Twofish here: on Twitter @onefishcomms and @cbedingfieldhttps://www.onefishcomms.co.ukBook a FREE 25 minute call straight into Carrie’s diary.

Corrina's journey from dating guys to finding a wife...thanks to travel sickness! And of course the best food to help with travel sickness (in case you've already found your partner...)In addition to this story, at the end of this episode I'll share with you the best food for travel sickness (in case you've already found your wife or partner).OK enough hints from me, let's get on with the story.Our guest, Corrina Gordon-BarnesI am super excited to be joined here today for our story by Corrina Gordon-Barnes. Corrina is a Relationship Coach who’s committed to a world of happy couples and happy families. She teaches her clients how to be really good at relationships.So Corrina, welcome to the Clean Food, Dirty Stories podcast! I'm really excited to have you here today!Corrina: Thank you so much for inviting me to connect with you.Me: Oh well you're so welcome! I love your story and I really can't wait for us to share it with everybody.Corrina's story, starting with being boy madMe: Without further ado, the first question I wanted to ask you...and I've said a little bit about what you do now, but when you were small, or younger, how did you see your dream relationship one day? Did you have princess dreams or did you have a particular type of partner in mind before you actually met your life partner?Corrina: Well, I was boy mad.Me: Boy mad!Corrina: Boy mad, like going through my primary school years, I remember that I was the one in my class who learned about sex really early.I was the one who would get all these teenage magazines, even as a late primary school age kid, and I would be teaching my friends at school. “You can get pregnant the first time you have sex” and “be careful with your boyfriend”.Me: Oh my god!A relationship expert...in primary schoolCorrina: I was like this relationship expert, even at that age I was teaching my friends. Like “these are all the myths, don't do this, do this” and so I was kind of boy mad, I was relationship mad, and getting into my teens I remember with my friends we would literally kind of go out prowling the streets. We would walk along the high street in my town where I lived and we would be looking for boys and we would be kind of flirting and coy. There was always some boy that I had my eye on. Always some guy who had my attention, I would try and make sure I was in the same place as him so that he would see me...Me: Sounds familiar, yeah.So I was definitely, I definitely wanted boys. That was very clear to me.Me: And you got engaged to a boy at one stage, right?Corrina: Yeah, so I had one really long term relationship before I met who is now my partner, and we got engaged at age 17.Me: Wow!We were gonna get married and we were gonna have all these babies and we were gonna live in this particular kind of house and have this life... That was the path that I thought I was on at that age.Me: So then what happened to take you off that path?The path to self-discoveryCorrina: Well that relationship was not the right one, and so that ended 4 years later and I stayed then single for quite a while. You know, I was really wanting to find myself.So I went on this whole spiritual, personal growth journey. I read every book I could get, I did meditation, I went vegan... It had this whole kind of personal growth change in my life.Me: What do you think prompted that? Was it the end of that relationship that prompted that? I mean, what were your thoughts? Were you just like 'Oh I think I need to take care of myself more' or become a different person, or...?Corrina: I was in Australia and I was just there travelling for a year. And I met this guy – surprisingly enough – in a cafe, and he just said “Hey I go to this meditation course down the road, why don't you come along”.And so I went and that very first moment, that very first time in the room with that meditation teacher, she told me that I was a spiritual being. She said to me – to the whole group but I really heard this - “You are a spirit soul having this human experience, but you are a spiritual being”.And it was like someone had just told me who I was. Like “oh my gosh, that's who I am, this human life is how I get to journey and explore and have an adventure, but I'm a spiritual being”.The layers (or the clothes) fall awayMe: So did you have that as like an inner knowing, or how did you experience it? Because people experience those things in different ways, right? Some people experience a physical sensation of light, other people experience it as just an inner sense of knowing...Corrina: It was like all my clothes fell off.Me: (laughs) Um...I haven't heard that one before!Corrina: It was like this casing, this casing just fell off. I literally woke up the next morning and I was vegan, I went from a complete meat eater to being vegan overnight just like that, and I was just on this journey then to just explore and discover myself and get back to the essential nature of my being.It was like everything that wasn't true about me just kind of fell away over the coming months.Me: Wow. That's very cool!Corrina: Yeah, it was pretty cool. I felt much lighter, it was like clothes coming off. I was just light. I was much, much lighter, much more energized, much freer, much more joyful.Me: It's interesting that you say that for you, all your clothes coming off, like some people might associate that with being exposed, right? Being vulnerable. And for you, you associate that with being light. So that's really interesting.Corrina: And just free. I remember in Australia, those kind of days, weeks after that moment, it was like I was floating along the streets. I was so free, I was feeling so connected with people, like I had just woken up.On to Cambridge University...and a fated bus tripMe: Yeah. Wow! And so how did you get from there to Cambridge University?Corrina: Yeah, so I decided that I wanted to do teacher training so I came to Cambridge University and signed up for the English and Drama teacher training course here. And on that very first day in class, I was sat next to this woman called Sam. There was something about her that just immediately kind of, like something just...a light bulb went off or something just happened. It was like 'Huh, she's just come on my radar really strongly, why am I paying attention to her so much?'So she was really in my awareness and we were both in the same school together so we were both placed to do our teacher practice in the same school. And on the first day of teaching practice, I got onto the bus that would take us to our practice school and I got on and she was sitting in the front seat. Now I always need to sit in the front seat in a bus because I get travel sick. So I just went over to her...I'd already clocked her as someone who was on my radar, and I just said “Oh, are you OK if I join you in the front seat?” And she said “Yeah sure, I have to sit here because I get travel sick” and I said “Oh me too!”So we sat side by side and over the months to come we became best friends. Just absolutely clicked, became best friends, incredible support through the whole teaching practice.A brave declarationMe: And was there any like physical attraction at that stage? Or did that come later?Corrina: Immediately! Immediately, I was like 'Huh! What is this woman doing to me? What this? What is happening here? I just feel energized around her, she lights me up, I feel excited, I feel like the world is just kind of shinier...'Me: Wow!Corrina: Everything just felt brighter and more energized.Me: It sounds like a good, a good...I don't know, I mean, I've never like taken acid or anything but (laughs) it sounds like, you know, a positive drug experience without the drugs, right?Corrina: (laughs) Totally! Totally, a kind of 'switch-on, turn-on, I'm awake, I'm alive, oh my gosh, who are you' kind of thing.Me: Was it the same for her as well?Corrina: Well what was so funny was that over the months that then came, was that I basically told her (laughs). I just said “Basically I've realized that I'm just completely in love with you. Do you feel that too?”Me: Wow! That was so brave of you cause you were friends at that stage, right? Like best friends, you don't want to wreck your relationship with your best friend by taking the risk but you did!Corrina: I just did! And that's kind of, you know, the kind of continuity of the whole spiritual journey for me of just like I'm free. You know, I'm free. If I feel this thing, I have to follow my heart. I have to just blurt out like “I'm in love with you, I don't know if you feel the same way”. And to start out with, it wasn't something that she let herself feel straight away.Determined and keeping faithMe: So what did she say when you said this? When you blurted this out?Corrina: She said “You know, I feel really connected with you, I love you a lot as a friend, but it's not romantic for me”.Me: And how did that make you feel?Corrina: Oh, heartbroken. Absolutely heartbroken. But also there was something... it was almost like inside I was going 'You just wait!' (laughs) 'You just wait. I know that you're the one for me, I'll just be patient, I'll just hang on'.Me: Oh wow! Other people though could have had quite a different reaction, right? I mean some people might have, I imagine anyway, some people might have just, you know, stayed in the heartbroken phase and then just walked away, right? And lost it.Corrina: No, I believed, I really had faith that this... There was a reason I was feeling this way, I couldn't ignore it, I couldn't shake it, I just kept believing in it and stayed consistently just loving her and being a good friend in the months where... You know, it took 3 months basically of us staying friends and me just loving her, and loving her, and loving her. And then just after Christmas we got together as a couple.And just before Christmas...Me: And what happened? So how did that happen? Like you're friends, it's been like you know 3 months, she knows how you feel, did she just all of a sudden like make a move? Or did she say something to you?Corrina: Well, I made the move. Again.Me: (laughs) Oh my god! So it's like 'OK I've already been kind of rejected once, let me have another go'. Right?Corrina: Exactly! (laughs) Or a few gos! So there was that initial conversation and then there was another conversation where I basically said – this was just before Christmas – I basically said “Are you sure?”Me: Oh my god!Corrina: “I still feel this thing...” and she again was like “No really, we're just friends”. So that was the second time and then third time lucky! I just made a move and I thought 'You know what? I'm just gonna take a risk again, I'm just gonna be bold. What's the worst that can happen? Rejection, right? What's the best that can happen? I can be with the love of my life'.Me: Oh my god – yeah but that was still just so...Right, OK. That was still just so brave. Once is already like super brave, right? Braver than most people. Twice is like oh my god, you know, three times you start to think OK, hmmm...Corrina: Yeah, and it worked! (laughs) Third time lucky and it was just after Christmas and that was now 13 years ago – 14 years ago.What was she thinking?Me: And so what did she, like...You made the move and what did she then say? Was she like 'oh I didn't know until you touched me' or was she like 'oh I realized it at the same time as you' or was she...Corrina: I think it was less of a thought thing. It was just, you know, when it happened then it just felt right. Like 'oh this is where I was meant to be, OK, got it'.Me: And that's what she felt too? Was that how she verbalised it to you?Corrina: Well and to give her credit here, so she's gay and I'm bi, right? So for a gay woman, if a bisexual woman says 'I'm in love with you', there's gonna be a sense of 'hmm, OK maybe you're just trying this out, maybe actually this is just a kind of short-term thing for you and really you're gonna want to be with guys'Me: Yeah, I've heard that, yeah.Corrina: So it's a real credit for her that for those months she was, you know, guarding her heart for that, because you don't know what's gonna happen, if that person declaring their love for you is gonna be constant. So I had to kind of prove that actually I meant it. When I said I loved her, I meant it and I was gonna be in it for the long haul.Me: So do you think that a part of her was not testing you, but kind of like unconsciously perhaps waiting? You know?Corrina: Yeah.Me: Oh OK, that makes a lot more sense. Cause in my mind I was imagining somebody who, you know, was neither gay nor bi and who maybe had, I don't know, only gone out with guys or something and so then for somebody like that it would be much more of a 180, right?Corrina: Yeah, no she's gay through and through.Me: Well, fortunately for you as it turns out, right? (laughs)How relevant is gender, anyway?Corrina: Well that's the thing for me as a bisexual woman. For me it's not about the fact that I like men and women, it's the fact that I like people and the gender is just irrelevant.And that's kind of part of what happened in that spiritual awakening moment in Australia. It was like all of the coverings, you know, whether it's our bodies or our personalities or any of that is kind of what covers the essence of us. And actually for me the essence of someone doesn't have a gender. So I fell in love with her like I might have thought or indeed fell in love with guys in the past because I just fall in love with the person, you know, that essence of the human beings behind all the trappings.Me: That's amazing because I feel the same way. It's kind of weird how that works, right? It's kind of like yeah, you feel the essence of the person. I mean I even had one guy say to me – this was like in a totally different context and we did not get together in the end but I do remember him saying to me at one point, I mean he wasn't the right person for me but he was kind of freaked out at one stage. Because he was like “It's like you want my soul!” and I was saying “It's not that I want your soul, it's that I see it!” I believe that I see it, right?And I think that you know, some people... I mean, credit to Sam as well because she's obviously a really strong person too in that, you know, some people would be freaked out by that, right? Some people would be like 'oh well...it's the real me here that's being...I don't know if I want to say exposed but seen, right? Some people...we use those trappings to cover stuff up, right? As we all know, so...That brings a level of intimacy that's probably quite cool I would imagine, right?Corrina: Yeah, and you know, don't get me wrong, I love that she's a woman as well. I love her long hair and her soft skin and her blue eyes, all the things that make her a woman as well I love. So it's not like I don't see those things, but that was never gonna be a filter, like I would only go for...The spectrum of sexualityMe: Yeah. I mean it's really interesting because I...for me, I'm sure, I would imagine perhaps for you as well, I see the whole homosexual/heterosexual thing as this big spectrum and I have a really good friend who...Well I do playback theater and one of my friends, she's in a playback theater troupe where they're all either bi or gay or whatever, and then we did a workshop at one point. They were inviting guest playbackers to go. And one of the exercises they did that was...I just thought it was really cool. They said 'put yourself...if stage left is like totally 100 percent gay and stage right is totally 100 percent heterosexual, put yourself on the spectrum, place yourself physically where you think you are'. And it was really cool to see people, you know, all along the stage, all at different points. I just thought that was very normal, right? Because we're all...for me, anyway, in my mind we're all spiritual beings and so as you say, there's no gender there, right?Corrina: And for some people there are. You know, that's the thing, people who are that kind of 100 percent on the spectrum, brilliant, they're really clear that they only want people of the opposite or the same sex. Yes, spectrum is beautiful.What Corrina does nowMe: Yeah, wow! So now I really want to know more then about how... (laughs)...how you went from, well, what you do now to help people with their relationships. Because obviously you have a lot more knowledge than when you were in primary school and I know you're helping people with a lot more than how to not get unwanted pregnancies and things! (laughs)Corrina: (laughs) Absolutely!Me: So what do you do now with people and how do you help them have these beautiful, deep relationships?Corrina: Yeah, and my work is around all relationships that are important. So it's...my clients, some of them it's really about their partner relationship but for others it's about their relationship with their mom or their daughter or their brother.For me, connection...it's a kind of cliche but connection is what we're hard wired for. We as human beings love to connect, we love to love people with our full hearts. But there are so many things that stop that from happening within us. We get resentful, we get frustrated, we get disappointed, we feel let down, we feel indignant, all of this.And I over the course of my own personal journey have found a very, very miraculous way of dealing with all those blocks. So it's the process of questioning your thoughts, questioning your stories, that block connection.An example of our made-up storiesSo let's say I'm with Sam and let's say she's saying something that sounds critical. My story in my head goes, 'she's criticizing me, she doesn't love me, she's being mean to me'. You know, 'I want her to be kind, I want her not to point out my flaws', all of that. That is all story. It's all mental. It's all...Me: Yes! It's all made up.Corrina: It's all made up! And we don't realize it, we think, 'no but this is true, she's criticizing me, this is what's happening'. And so what I am so blessed to have come into contact with a number of years ago is the process of questioning those thoughts. Just sitting with those thoughts and asking them, 'Is this true? Is this accurate, is this the correct interpretation of what's going on?' Not just is it true that that's what's going on, but is it true that I would be better off if it were happening differently?Me: OK...Corrina: Like am I sure? So let's say your loved one is truly critizing you. They're saying to you “you're a stupid, ugly, whatever, whatever”. Can I be sure that my happiness depends on them not saying that? Can I be sure that I can only feel good about myself and peaceful if they stop doing that? Because it sets up a very limited version of life if I'm always waiting for someone else to give me something, to give me what I think I need in order to be peaceful and happy. It's like I delay my peace and my happiness until other people and other circumstances arrange themselves in just the right way.Our rules...and our scriptsMe: Yeah, it's like our rules, right? Where we all have these rules about what has to happen for us to be happy and the more...the easier it is to be happy, then the happier we are, right?Corrina: Exactly, exactly. I talk about our scripts. It's like, I realized pretty early on with Sam that I had a script, that if she followed this script and she said and she did exactly what I, you know, expected her to do then I would feel happy, but if she went off script then I wouldn't be happy, I'd be pissed off. She really helped me see this, she said to me one day “Why don't you just give me your fucking script Corrina! Give me your script, tell me what I need to do”. And I was like “How dare you! This is just what you're meant to do, you're my wife, this is how you're meant to treat me”. Then it kind of dawned on me a few days later, like 'oh my gosh, my script is the source of all of my unhappiness. Every moment that I want her to be doing something other than what's reality, I am causing my own unhappiness'.Corrina's 'big work'Me: Right. So then your relationship was, I guess, far from...I don't want to say far from idyllic, but you had to work through some of this stuff in your relationship with Sam?Corrina: One hundred percent. I wouldn't be doing this work if I hadn't had to...if this hadn't been my big work. You know, so yes like I was completely besotted with her in the beginning, and we got together and it was blissful, and then all my stories started to kick in. 'Hmmm, well she's not this' and 'hmmm, she said that and that's not OK' and 'would I be better off with someone who did this' and you know, all those stories eroded what I had imagined would be this perfect relationship. So it's like I had to work on that, I had to take those stories and stop those stories from sabotaging this beautiful relationship that we had underneath all those stories.Me: Yeah. It's good that you managed to do that, thank goodness, right?Corrina: I mean, it saved my marriage. It saved my relationship.A daily practiceMe: And did it take a long time?Corrina: Yeah, it's a daily practice. It really is a daily practice, it's like if you want to be fit, like you've done today (laughs), you go to the gym, you go for a run, you do your yoga. You don't just be like 'oh I'll do it one time and then it's done'. If you want a healthy, thriving, fit relationship with anybody, whether it's your son or your dad or your sister, there's daily practice to do. There's daily work to do every time you get triggered, every time something gets in the way of you being totally, wholeheartedly connected with the human being in front of you, you've got something to look at there.Me: Yeah, but at least you can...I mean, what am I trying to say, there comes a time when you catch yourself, right? At least, you know, having done a certain amount of work, then you can get to the point where you see what's happening, right? As an observer almost and you can go 'OK hang on, I'm doing this again, this is my script'. Whereas at the beginning, you know, when people aren't even aware of their scripts, I imagine it takes them a little bit... well it depends on the person I guess, right? How much time it would take them to start to see and to start to implement I guess the tools that you give them, right?Corrina: Absolutely, yes, you're completely spot on.When you get triggeredAnd you know, now I'm at the point where I get triggered and it could be like anything, right? It could be I'm on Facebook and I see a message from someone and I feel like 'oh they should have, you know, complimented me rather than give me negative feedback on something'. Right? Instantly, 'oh! OK, there's a trigger! A button's gotten pushed'. And now I'm at the point where I'm like 'Oooh, good, what's here for me?'Me: I do the same thing, that's really funny! Yeah, I had something that happened the other day that made me so angry and then I'm like 'OK if this is making me this angry and, you know, the other 30 people in the room are not angry, they actually think it's quite cute...' (laughs)We all get triggered, even by 8-year old authorsI'll tell you what it was, it was quite funny. I was at this day workshop with an amazing speaker and there was this little girl, she's like 8 years old and she's written a book. Actually she's written 3 books, right?Corrina: Wow!Me: And it made me so annoyed! And I just thought...you know, not only envious, obviously envious, you know, 3 books at age 8, but also annoyed because, you know, her mom was there and I knew what it was. It brought up all the old scripts of, you know, stage mothers because I did theater before and so I had a good friend who had a stage mother who was just absolutely unbearable whereas, you know, my mom was the opposite.So I see what you mean, you get these reactions, right, that are completely irrational because the people around me were applauding her and they were like 'oh isn't that wonderful' and I was like inside going 'this is making me so angry!' But we all get triggered, don't we, right?Examples of tiny triggersCorrina: Oh, everyone. And it could be like the tiniest thing, that's what I always find fascinating. It could be just one line in an email. Or it could be just the way that your partner, you know, turns over in their sleep, just the tiniest little things. Often my clients say to me “Oh, you know, I can't bring this to you today, it's just so small” and I'm like “No, no, that's exactly what to bring!”. The fact that he put tofu in the stir fry rather than kidney beans, you know. There was something, there was some offense against you. So there you are with that 8 year old girl, that offense that she's committing against you in that moment that's kind of violating something is like, you know, 'she's further ahead than me' or 'she's achieved one of my life goals' or, you know...Me: Yeah, and she's 8 and I'm 55!Corrina: And she's 8! It's just to be so compassionate with ourselves that 'oh look, there's this part of me that feels in some way threatened or violated or hurt by this, let me just so lovingly look there and heal that part of myself'.Being compassionate with yourselfMe: Ah, yeah, that's a really key point there that you brought up so I just wanted to emphasize it, yeah. That being compassionate with that part of ourselves, right? Rather than being like, OK, you know, with that kind of...what's the word, forced smile on our faces, going 'Ah, another beautiful part of me to transform', you know (laughs), right? Right? And we can be quite hard on ourselves with that, right, and be like 'OK what's at the bottom of this!' and take a kind of like pickaxe to it. At least that's what I would do or could do rather than choosing to as you say, acknowledge with love that part of ourselves and treat it as part of, you know, part of the inner child or whatever you want to call it, that needs love and compassion. That's a really interesting point that we don't want to forget. Wow! That's very cool.How to work with CorrinaSo when you work with people, I would love to hear just a bit more about what the different ways are that you...Do people come to see you in an office, or do you do things online, or how does that work?Corrina: Yes, so right now it's one to one. There's a potential of me offering something else in the kind of group workshop, retreat way, but not for now. What I do is I do free videos, everyone can just watch a free video every week, all about relationship hotspots and how to move past them, and then if people feel inspired and really like they're wanting that support, they can have the one to one coaching. And for now that is by Skype or by phone, and I'm just starting to also offer that in person as well for people who I'm unable to physically meet with.Me: Yeah. That's really fantastic, well thank you so much. What I'll do is, I'll link to everything that you do in the show notes but where's the best place for people to look online to find out more about what you're doing and more about you and to get access to the videos and things?An online video library...and a 7 Day Relationship ChallengeCorrina: Yeah, so if they go to corrinagordonbarnes.com, I'll just spell that out, and if you go to the blog page that's where I've got all the videos and articles that have happened so far. So that's a really good place just to go, it's like settling into a library of relationship wisdom and gems, just settling in and watching some of the videos and just seeing if the approach makes sense to you.The right people for this work are people who watch a video and go 'oh my gosh, that makes so much sense!' And they apply that tip that I'm sharing and they come back and they say “Wow I had this incredible experience with my mom! Because I did the thing that you...” I do like challenges in the video so they're like “I did the challenge that you set and I had a completely different experience with my mom this week, thank you!”Me: That's brilliant!Corrina: It's so good, it's so satisfying. So on the blog page that's where people can look at all the videos so far. And on the homepage people can sign up for the free 7 Day Relationship Challenge.7 days to feel more connectedMe: That sounds intriguing for sure!Corrina: Yes! It's 7 days to feel more connected, that's the overarching focus. How can you feel more connected? That beautiful feeling of just wholehearted connection with the person in front of you, and I give a number of challenges that you can actually implement to help you feel that way.Me: That is really fantastic! Well, I mean yeah, because as you say, we're all starving for connection and I mean, we could do a whole episode just about the different ways people connect, right? Through food and smoking and alcohol, and, you know, apart from people, right?Corrina: Facebook!Me: Facebook! There's so many...it's a massive, massive topic but...so I wish we had more time! But thank you so much for being here to share your story, because I love your story and I love your journey and I really, really love what you're doing right now, so I'm really grateful that you took the time to share that with us, so thank you so much!Corrina: You're very welcome, thank you so much!A food to help with travel sicknessSo now I mentioned at the beginning of this episode that I'd share with you one of the best foods you can eat for help with travel sickness. And I think it will come as no surprise for most of you anyway to hear that that food is...ginger!Ginger has so many benefits it's ridiculous. Not only can it help with travel sickness, but it's also beneficial for other causes of nausea, like morning sickness, and it can help with pain relief as well.Why ginger is so helpfulSo this powerful little root contains loads of antioxidant and antiinflammatory compounds, including curcumin and capsaicin which are also found in turmeric which is another superfood. They're part of the same plant family, turmeric, ginger and cardamom.Ginger also contains a ton of vitamins and minerals, including calcium, potassium, magnesium, phosphorus, niacin, iron, zinc and folate. A big list, right?And ginger is a great way to warm us up, because it's a diaphoretic (that was my new word for today), which means that it heats the body from the inside out. So if you live in a cold climate for example, ginger can literally help warm you up inside. It also helps promote sweating, which is why it's so good to have ginger tea if you've got a cold and you need to sweat out some toxins.Ginger even helps with pain reliefBut did you know that ginger can also help with pain relief? Two examples are exercise-induced muscle pain (so if you work out, eat some ginger), as well as menstrual cramps. So the next time you're feeling crampy (I don't know if that's a word but I've just decided it is!), make yourself some strong ginger tea and see how you feel.Ginger can also help reduce inflammation, so scientists are looking to see if it can help with cancer, and particularly colon cancer. Ginger also is showing promise for helping treat that as well as inflammation caused by osteoarthritis.I'll link to an article in the show notes that has more information about ginger's many properties and benefits, it also includes links to the actual research in case you'd like to know more about that. And in addition I'll link to an article that has some overall tips for avoiding travel sickness, including using ginger.So how do you eat ginger?If you're feeling nauseous and you want instant relief, well, you can definitely try peeling the root and gnawing on a piece...although I haven't done that myself. Ginger's pretty strong stuff.What I do is I usually juice a small piece of ginger with some carrots and apples for a really zinging morning juice. It tastes really, really good. Or you can pop a piece into your blender with other veggies and maybe some fruit for a green smoothie or a soup to give it a bit of a zing. It also helps you use less salt because it's got a really strong flavor.Other people prefer to slice a few pieces into some very hot water and let it steep for a while with a slice or two of lemon to make ginger tea.And you can also grate ginger into soups, curries and other savory dishes. Or even just chop it finely and use it in stir-frys.I'll link in the show notes to some recipes that I've got in my 5-Minute Mains recipe ebook that use ginger too, such as my Green Thai Curry.One thing for sure that I definitely recommend is that you use fresh ginger root wherever possible, rather than powdered ginger or capsules. I say that because the fresh vegetable is so easy to use and it's always best I think to have the actual vegetable rather than some dried out version in a plastic capsule. But then again if capsules are all you have access to, better that than no ginger!If you do try something new with ginger, definitely share in the comments because I want to know!Have YOU got a story to share?Which brings us to the end of this week's story – and if you've got a true story to share (and you'd like to know what food could have saved the day in your situation), I'd love to hear from you!Got a question, or a comment?Got a question, or a comment? Pop a note below in the comments, that would be awesome. You can also subscribe to the podcast to listen 'on the go' in iTunes.I hope you have an amazing day. Thank you so much for being here with me to share in my Clean Food, Dirty Stories. Bye for now!RESOURCESLink to 5-Minute Mains and other recipe ebooks: https://rockingrawchef.com/5-minute-recipes/Article with nutritional information on ginger as well as links to scientific studies: http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/265990.phpArticle with general tips to help with travel sickness: http://mentalfloss.com/article/78131/9-scientifically-proven-ways-prevent-motion-sicknessCorrina Gordon-Barnes is a Relationship Coach who’s committed to a world of happy couples and happy families. She teaches her clients how to be really good at relationships – how to love full-heartedly, let go of resentments, forgive, accept and live from power not victimhood. She lives in Cambridge, England with her wife, Sam.Corrina's website: http://corrinagordonbarnes.com Corrina's Feel More Connected: a FREE 7-day Relationship ChallengeCorrina on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube

My sexual orientation is that I like people, with Corrina Gordon-Barnes The how of a dream relationship Imagine if you said to your partner, “There’s nothing that you can do wrong. If I’m ever irritated with you, resentful of you, disappointed with you, that is 100% for me to resolve.” Find out more about Corrina’s radical approach to happy relationships, why it works, and what it takes.   The liberation of taking responsibility How did you get to doing what you do now? I got really really peaceful in my relationships. I realized that this is really rare. I broke through to this whole new level of peace where I said to my wife, “There is literally nothing that you can do that is wrong. If I’m ever irritated with you, resentful of you, disappointed with you, that is 100% for me to resolve.” It doesn’t mean I don’t get triggered. It means I have a very fast way of getting to peace. It just takes one person. It is hopeless to try and get the other person to change. If Sam suddenly decides to give me exactly what I want, that is a bonus. But it’s not required for me to be happy. I have taken the responsibility and liberation on me. Just take that responsibility yourself and give yourself what you want.   Detaching from the stories What were some challenges on your own path that enabled you to go deeper? I realized it’s just not going to work if I keep thinking I want and need something from her. I’m just going to be disappointed, frustrated. She is my soul mate. I feel that we are meant to be together. The core of our relationship is right. How do you know that at the core your relationship is right? How are you so convinced? When the stories are gone, there is just a silence in my head. I had doubts over the years. Doubts are the stories. When I have worked my thoughts, I have taken a thought that has caused frustration or disappointment, asked whether it is true. Is that what I need in order to be peaceful and happy in this relationship? What would this moment with this beautiful woman be like without my story in the way? Questioning the stories that build up. They are just stories, they are not true.   Process to stillness What does it take for you to get to the point where you can see the story from what it is and detach from it? The very first stage is to actually have a rant. Write down everything about your partner that you think is their fault. Really get mean with this. You have to get them on paper to see what you’re actually dealing with. The next step is to find stillness. I meditate. Observe those thoughts and see that they are thoughts. They are not facts. They are like these strings of words that appear in your mind. Then you start to get that separation from them. Be aware of where you are arguing for your pain. People can tolerate huge amounts of pain if they think that is the only option. When you start seeing that pain is not obligatory, if you can see that your thoughts are causing that pain then you can begin to move beyond that.   Giving away our power I imagine you haven’t always been in this peaceful place. Can you share a little bit about the mistakes you made early on, maybe different relationships? I had one significant relationship before Sam. I looked to him for everything. My world got very very small. He was going to fulfill all my needs. I didn’t need to stay connected to my friends. I tuned everything out. I made him everything. I lost myself completely. I didn’t have the self-love, so I was looking for it in him. I definitely was not living my personal power. I was a teenager. I didn’t love myself. I didn’t think I was amazing. So when someone came along that seemed to love me, of course I was going to leap onto that horse and ride away into that subset.   There is no need to have needs This whole idea of us having needs in itself is to be questioned. I can take care of myself, love myself, be there for myself. Anything my partner does is a bonus. This is a thing I have really discovered, is how grateful I am. When you acknowledge that you actually don’t have needs that have to be fulfilled by this person, then everything that they actually do for you is such a gift. It puts you in a place of appreciation, love and gratitude, as opposed to a place of expectation and disappointment. We think we have needs, we think that our partner’s job is to meet those needs. They then don’t meet those needs because they are human, and then we feel frustrated, disappointed, bitter, and resentful. I had a friend who said, “Expectations are premeditated resentments." What if I went into a situation with no expectations? There is no past to compare with, there is no future to compare with, there is no other person to compare with, there is no fictional wife or husband that I am comparing with. Just seeing what is happening. Just watch what is actually happening, rather than comparing it with the script. That is what peace is, when you are just in yourself, not trying to change his world.   Accepting your authentic self I understand that you identify as bisexual. Can you share a little bit about how this has been for you recognizing that your sexual orientation was not straight? I was boy-mad in my teens. I liked boys. But I also liked girls. Because I also liked boy, I thought, “I will just go out with boys. That’s just what you do," When I was in my 20s, I met Sam – my wife. I just fell in love with her. It was meant to be, soulmate, destiny. We argued the very time we met. We say we were annoyed at each other that we hadn’t met each other until then. Gender was not relevant. My sexual orientation is that I like people. I have never had a problem with it. It has always been easy for me. I feel very grateful for that. That is my vision, we don’t see gender so much. We are just people. We all have these minds that project onto the people we are with. Whether we are male or female or identify as a different gender, it is just humans trying to love humans the best we can.   Transcending assumptions I remember the very first Valentine’s Day I got with Sam. I went into the card shop. I could not find a card that did not have a man and a woman on the front of it. I had no idea because until then all the cards I have ever bought were for men. That’s when I realized it is not even people being prejudice that creates challenge. It is when we make assumptions. Being with Sam, people assume that I am gay. I say to them, “I am not gay, but my wife is," How do you find yourself living with these assumptions being imposed on you? I experience it with a lot of love, compassion, and lightness. People are innocent.   We believe what we believe. I don’t think people want to hurt other people. They just haven’t questioned certain thoughts, certain assumptions.   Being compassionate to your truth Do you have any advice for people who are in the process of coming out right now? My process if about questioning the thought. The thought that would stop someone from coming out is, “They are going to reject me, they are not going to love me," Where am I doing that to myself? Am I hating myself? Am I rejecting myself? Am I loving myself? Finding peace with, this is who you are, this is your beautiful self. This is your truth, and anything that is not your truth is going to feel off and wrong.   Our favorite tips from Corrina Question your thoughts, “Is it true?” Thoughts are not facts, they are just strings of words that come up in our mind. Question the idea of having needs in relationships. View what your partner does for you as a gift, as opposed to an expectation. Let go of your relationship expectations, and instead be with your partner in that moment. Find the magnificence in your partner and in that moment together. Find peace in your authentic self. Love and be compassionate to yourself.   Quotes “I have taken the responsibility and liberation on me.” “If we want to grow, we want all of it.” “What am I living to get back into my personal power?” “I can take care of myself, love myself, be there for myself, and then anything my partner does is a bonus on top of that.” “When you start seeing that pain is not obligatory, if you can see that your thoughts are causing that pain then you can begin to move beyond that.” “What if I went into a situation with no expectations? There is no past to compare with, there is no future to compare with, there is no other person to compare with, there is no fictional wife or husband that I am comparing with. I am just seeing what is happening.” “That is my vision, we don’t see gender so much.” “Whether we are male or female or identify as a different gender, it is just humans trying to love humans the best we can.” “We believe what we believe. I don’t think people want to hurt other people. They just haven’t questioned certain thoughts, certain assumptions.” “Anything that is not your truth is going to feel off and wrong.”   Resources and Links: Visit her website: www.corrinagordonbarnes.com   Did you enjoy the show? Let us know your biggest takeaways in the comments. If you like what we’re doing, please subscribe to #InChargeShow in iTunes and leave us a review and a 5-star rating, to help more women who won’t settle find us. Follow the links to take the quizzes we discussed on the show: www.yourtrueselfie.com www.inchargequiz.com In the free report at the end of each quiz, you’ll get an invitation to join our Facebook community. I hope you accept it. I look forward to connecting with you soon! Until then, Stay in your heart. xx Valerie In this episode, we talk about: woman, entrepreneur, relationship, bisexual, gay, lesbian, coming out, truth, marriage, happy, peaceful, love, wisdom, authentic, rules, liberation

"Gratitude is the rent we pay for the wonderful things we have in life" - Corrina Gordon-Barnes, Relationship Coach DIRECT LINK TO THE MAIN IDEAS AND MENTIONED RESOURCES RATE AND REVIEW ON ITUNES Looking for an easy way to be more grateful and happy during workdays?  Get the Daily Checklist with the Best 5 Ways To Easily Supercharge Your Gratitude During Workdays! Thank you so much for listening and feel free to contact me! :) Become a supporter of this podcast:https://anchor.fm/the-gratitude-podcast/support

Imagine you had a successful business, doing good, and doing well. You've built a big online and offline community of people who love and support your work, because in return, you love and support their journey too. You've been paid for over 1,350 coaching hours, you've worked with over 200 coaching clients, you've written over 150 blogs, videos, webinars, you've been invited to speak at amazing conferences and you're probably making a six figure income. Now this didn't happen over night. No. You've spent the last ten years of your life dedicated to growing this business. And suddenly, one day, you decide to give it all up and start from scratch all over again. How would you feel? Well, today's guest is Corrina Gordon-Barnes, who was the founder of YouInspireMe.co.uk, a thriving business with a huge following who by most standards had achieved "the dream" of most coaches. To make a good living doing something you love and have a positive impact in the process. In today's episode you will hear for the first time Corrina share her journey of why she decided to try something different and what it feels like to start all over again. Subscribe now on iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/gb/podcast/unconventionalists-mark-leruste/id1029651449?mt=2 SHOW NOTES: www.theunconventionalists.com/episode/38 GET IN TOUCH Website: www.theunconventionalists.com Facebook: www.facebook.com/markleruste Twitter: www.twitter.com/markleruste YouTube: www.youtube.com/markleruste

Corrina runs youinspireme.co.uk and is committed to creating a world where marketing is fun, clients turn up easily, and money flows to those who do work that helps and heals. She leads two popular online courses: Passion to Profit, and Blog for Clients and is also a vegan strawberry cheesecake enthusiast.

Today's topic is perfect for those just starting out – we're focusing one of the most common complaints: I've put so much effort into building my business – where are the clients?! Corrina Gordon-Barnes is a business coach who helps us find happy, profitable self-employment. She has a lot of experience with people who are [...]

GFY 062: Interview with Corrina Gordon-Barnes (YouInspireMe.co.uk) If you think there’s no way to make good money by turning your passion into a business, think again. My guest on this episode, Corrina Gordon-Barnes, used to cry on the way to her day job until she figured out how to utilize her talents, skills and passions to create a profitable business and work for herself. Today, she’s become so successful that she’s helping other small business owners do the same thing… Corrina is known as “the guardian angel for the self-employed”. She’s the founder You Inspire Me—where she is committed to creating a world where marketing is fun, clients turn up easily, and money flows to those who do work that helps and heals. She provides support, community and step-by-step guidance through two popular online courses—Blog for Clients and Passion to Profit. Tune into this episode to get Corrina’s secrets for what it takes to start prospering as a passionate business owner. Tweet this: Listening to the Go Fire Yourself Podcast w/ @laurelstaples right now! http://ctt.ec/WaViE+ Cool stuff mentioned in this episode: Click to Tweet Passion to Profit   Did this podcast rock your world?   If you liked this podcast, leave a review on iTunes!! You will be immediately showered in gold and diamonds and all things sparkly. Visit www.gofireyourself.com/review to check out the iTunes page. Plus…sharing this episode on social media will undoubtedly add to the glitter fest. Satisfaction is guaranteed. The post GFY 062: How to Turn Your Passion Into Profits appeared first on Go Fire Yourself.

CORRINA Gordon-Barnes, is the founder of You Inspire Me, where she shares free inspiration and strategies for happy, profitable self-employment. Corrina is committed to creating a world where marketing is fun, clients turn up easily, and money flows to those who do work that helps & heals. She leads two popular online courses: Passion to Profit, and Blog for Clients. See the infographic show notes at TodaysLeadingWomen.com by clicking here!

Corrina Gordon-Barnes is a sought-after coach and mentor, and today she shares with Side Hustle Nation exactly how she built her business from the ground up. There are some surprising turns and some eye-opening responses in this one, as I ask Corrina about how she prices her services, how she landed her first clients, how she's scaling her business, and how she made blogging work as an effective marketing channel.

Today’s Guest I originally met today's guest at one of Corrina Gordon-Barnes' You Inspire Me meetups. We sat right across from each other, started, talking, and I realized I already knew some of her work! You see, when Jac McNeil launched her Solopreneurs Sojourn earlier this year, I absolutely loved the artwork she used to promote the digital retreat kit. I was so excited to finally meet the artist, Lisa! Lisa McLoughlin is a visual narrator  and website creator for heart-centred women entrepreneurs. Combining her experience as a healer and coach, her skills in technology with her soul as an artist, she has developed a process and programme to connect with the essence of who you are in business and express it in beautiful ways. Art connects with your audience in a powerful and grounding way; a healing and restorative way. This gives women an opportunity to communicate powerfully through expressive, one-of-a-kind artwork. She will extend her natural curiosity, skills for reflective listening, and gentle coaching style to pull truths from you and give you permission to express yourself and weave it into art for your brand and for your website. Her specialities range from Digital and Print ready illustrations, website design and build, eresource cover and page layouts and illustrations, PowerPoint slide design, Social media banner designs, Logos, Infographics, Business card designs and so much more... What You’ll Learn Lisa's top tips on how to get the website of your dreams Why you need to spend one month getting clear on what you're about How her experience as a coach and a therapist has made her a better artist and web designer Why it's so important to trust your intuition when having a new website created Inspiring Women in Business Jac McNeil Amy Palko Corrina Gordon-Barnes Things We Discussed Marisa Murgatroyd's 30 day video challenge Passion to Profit Connect With Lisa Website Facebook Twitter Pinterest Google+ Learn How to Get the Website of Your Dreams, with Lisa McLoughlin http://wp.me/p3QOiq-Gf #podcast

Corrina Gordon-Barnes bring us through her journey as a coach to teens that evolved into coaching adults, and through it all she was making an impact to change lives.

Today’s Guest I originally met today’s guest, Corrina Gordon-Barnes, back in 2011 at a mastermind group at my coaching school. She was invited to give a talk to our group, and I really liked her energy and the things she discussed. Since then, I've been following her blog and I've also been following her on Twitter. Corrina Gordon-Barnes wants to live in a world where marketing is fun, clients turn up easily, and money flows to those who do work that helps and heals. As a marketing teacher and self-employment champion, she’s been featured on MindBodyGreen, LifeByMe and MarketingForHippies and published in The Ecologist, OM Yoga, Diva, The Ecologist and The London Paper. When she’s not writing blogs and teaching courses, you can find her reading chick-lit, making vegan blueberry cheesecake, and trying to catch her niece and nephew on the monkey bars. Her popular course - How to Blog to Help More Clients - starts again in November. Discover how to stay inspired on the self-employment path at http://youinspireme.co.uk   What You’ll Learn Corrina's top tips for how to turn your passion into a profitable business Why it's your duty to market yourself (yes, you read that right) Why you need to develop a "politeness radar" Inspiring Women in Business Marie Forleo Alexandra Franzen Jac McNeil Connect With Corrina Discover how to stay inspired on the self-employment path at http://youinspireme.co.uk Social platforms: Twitter Facebook

"How can I find clients for my health coaching business?" is one of the most common questions we get here at Wellpreneur. And it's not only health and wellness coaches. If you're starting a wellness business, you don't really have a business until you have paying clients (you just have an expensive hobby!) So today's episode digs into this issue - giving strategies and ideas to help you start finding clients for your new business this week. Corrina Gordon-Barnes is a business coach who helps entrepreneurs find happy, profitable self-employment. She has a lot of experience with people who are just getting started to develop their presence online and find clients, and this is what we're discussing today.If you're wondering why people aren't looking at your website, you'll definitely find this episode helpful. She'll explain to us the reasons you don't have clients (it's not necessarily your fault!) and the process of turning strangers into paying clients.What you'll learn in this episode:The reasons you don't have enough clients for your wellness business, and what to do about itHow to use blogging/content marketing to build trust between you and future clientsWhat the process of turning strangers into paying clients looks likeHow to shift your mindset to build confidence in your paid servicesWhere to draw the line when giving away free content on your siteThis episode originally aired on The Wellpreneur Podcast.Get the full show notes with links:https://wellpreneur.com/e37-get-paying-clients-corrina-gordon-barnes/Copyright 2012-2020 Wellpreneur Ltd. All Rights Reserved. Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

  Corrina Gordon-Barnes felt an "unignorable inner calling" to move from marketing to working with relationships where people take radical self-responsibility. Listen in to hear us talk about: How to alchemize blame to nourish your growthWhy it only takes one person to change the dynamics of a relationshipThe most powerful way to respond to criticismCreating your own recipe for what you want in your lifeSex, comparison and expectationCorrina Gordon-Barnes supports personal-growth seekers to have better relationships. No matter how much inner work you've done, certain people can still press your buttons! Mother, father, brother, sister, partner, child - she shares a radical process that enables you to move beyond getting triggered and into peace and connection with the people who are important to you.  Sign up for free weekly articles and videos at corrinagordonbarnes.com  With...Laurie SeymourSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/wisdom-talk-radio/donations