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In this episode, Lesley and Brad unpack the critical role of communication in feeling appreciated and connecting deeply with your partner, inspired by Kelli Adame's relationship takeaways. They discuss the nuances of expressing needs and desires, the importance of honoring each other's contributions, and how to navigate the complexities of masculine and feminine energies for a stronger, more connected relationship.If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co. And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.In this episode you will learn about:The impact of narcissistic upbringing on your romantic choices.The inherent differences in how men and women approach relationships.That appreciation is both given and received in relationships.The importance of respecting masculine energy in partnerships.The role of self-care in enhancing personal joy and satisfaction.Episode References/Links:Studio Growth Accelerator ProgramOPC Summer CampCambodia February 2025 Early Bird4-Week Pilates ChallengeDiary Of A CEO Podcast EpisodeHow Not to Let Having Kids Ruin Your Sex Life by Dr. Karen Gurney If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. DEALS! Check out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper's Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox Be in the know with all the workshops at OPCBe It Till You See It Podcast SurveyBe a part of Lesley's Pilates MentorshipFREE Ditching Busy Webinar Resources:Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!Lesley Logan websiteBe It Till You See It PodcastOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley LoganOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTubeProfitable Pilates Follow Us on Social Media:InstagramFacebookLinkedIn Episode Transcript:Lesley Logan 0:00 There is a divineness just to be in your feminine and it allows you A. to ditch the perfection and ditch the control and ditch always being responsible for everyone's feelings all the fucking time like we gotta let it go. Lesley Logan 0:14 Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started. Lesley Logan 0:56 Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview recap where my co-host in life, Brad, and I are going to dig into the appreciative convo I have with Kelly Adame in our last episode. If you haven't yet listened to that one, you should go back and listen to that one. And by the way, while you're at it, listen to our first one and then come back and join us. Today is the official day of March 28th 2024. And it's National Triglycerides Day. Brad Crowell 1:16 It is.Lesley Logan 1:17 I don't think those are good. Brad Crowell 1:19 No, they're not. Lesley Logan 1:20 Okay. So just like all things in life require balance, so does our nutritional intake. Too much of anything, even if they're vitamins can be harmful. This is why, this is the reason why high triglyceride levelsBrad Crowell 1:32 It's not that triglycerides are bad, high triglycerides. Lesley Logan 1:35 High triglycerides, which are important lipid compounds that help with providing us with energy can be extremely detrimental while in many cases high triglycerides levels can be treated using medications. Recent studies have shown that in older people, namely 50 and above, that's not older, 50 is not old, triglyceride levels rise because of hormonal changes. If you're not sure what this even means speak with your doctor. If you have high triglycerides there are foods you can eat that will help you lower your levels. Whey protein products, fatty fish, whole grains, quinoa, avocado, coconut oil, garlic and cruciferous vegetables. Brad Crowell 2:09 Nice. Lesley Logan 2:10 Thank you, have all been shown to significantly reduce triglyceride levels. Ultimately, talk to your doctor. You know what, if you don't trust your doctor, talk to a different doctor, like if you have a doctor who won't test all of your levels, including your hormones get a different one advocate for yourself. You know that doctor I didn't like, everyone knows, we talked about it in the podcast, we talked about how much I don't like her, my insurance company just let me know that she's no longer in network for me, so I have to find a new one. I'm like, well, I was gonna find a new one anyway, so thanks.Brad Crowell 2:35 So if you're wondering what a cruciferous vegetables is.Lesley Logan 2:38 Is it like cauliflower? Brad Crowell 2:39 Yeah, cauliflower, broccoli, cabbage, kale, bok choy, arugula, brussel sprouts, collard greens. Lesley Logan 2:45 Some of those will make your pee smell. And that's how you'll know you're doing a good job.Brad Crowell 2:50 That's really what you're looking for y'all. Smelly pee. Lesley Logan 2:52 Hey, come to the Be It Pod for random facts on your triglyceride levels. But also, I just reject 50 being older people. I'm over that. No, because I'm 44. I'm 40 what do you mean 42? That's bullshit. Brad Crowell 3:08 That's a BS. Lesley Logan 3:10 Yeah. Anyways. Brad Crowell 3:12 Well, I just figured, you know, like, or heard about, you know, nutritional health and all the things but I didn't know there was an entire day dedicated to the awareness of high triglyceride levels.Lesley Logan 3:25 Well, because we live in a place where we have to, like make a holiday. Like okay, did you know the other day I was listening to a podcast and it was National Equal Pay Day it's like why the fuck is there a holiday? To remind? Brad Crowell 3:39 It's probably an awareness day. Lesley Logan 3:40 It's an awareness, it's still considered a holiday, right? If you go to the you don't look up awareness days, you look up holidays, right? So it's on the holidays calendar, and companies should just pay people equally for the same amount of work. Period.Brad Crowell 3:56 I agree. Lesley Logan 3:57 Doesn't need a fucking holiday. Anyways, just get a little irritated on this.Brad Crowell 4:03 Those triglycerides took you down a bad road there.Lesley Logan 4:08 I love cruciferous fruits I eat vegetables. I eat them all the time. Okay, so you guys. This is this in like three or four days Brad is doing the Accelerator which is a studio growth accelerator program. So if you're a Pilates teacher, studio owner, you can attend this amazing two-ish-hour webinar. Brad Crowell 4:27 It'll be April 4th. Lesley Logan 4:27 April 4th to be exact. And here's the thing that's so cool about it. He's going to teach you stuff and then you're gonna work on that stuff. What? Brad Crowell 4:29 Yeah. Teach and work on it. Lesley Logan 4:34 So it's not, so it's not like we talked about this (inaudible). It's not like you're just gonna get tons of information with no integration because you'll get constipated. Yes, you can have cruciferous vegetables, but you can also integrate the things you're learning. Also coming up in the first weekend of June, it's summer camp. Oh, I didn't give the link for that. It's the Studio Growth Accelerator. If you are wanting to sign up for that, you should. Agency members. You got Brad, you know don't need to do this. Brad Crowell 5:01 You don't need to do this. Lesley Logan 5:02 You've already done this. Go to prfit.biz/accelerator. And you'd be surprised that accelerator's two Cs and one L. You know, I thought it had two Ls and it doesn't. So prfit.biz/accelerator to snag your spot it's like last chance so you got a few days. But then summer camp is the first few days of June like specifically the first Saturday and Sunday of June.Brad Crowell 5:27 Yeah. This is going to be a big deal, y'all.Brad Crowell 5:29 You guysBrad Crowell 5:30 This is like a huge, huge event. Lesley Logan 5:31 So everyone loves summer camp last yearBrad Crowell 5:33 And you don't want to miss it. Lesley Logan 5:34 We wanted to make this summer camp the biggest thing ever. And like we also know that there's not a ton of in-person Pilates events for people who are nerds of Pilates. So this is not just for teachers. This is for people who practice Pilates, too. And so the OPC teachers and I are doing workshops and workouts, then we're bringing in some guest teachers as well. You can literally spend entire day with me moving your body and how like learn from so many amazing people will have a pre and postnatal workshop in there as well. So if you can also buy day pass, I mean, there's just so many awesome things. If you are on the waitlist, you are going to get one of the best early bird prices now I say one of it's because OPC members will get the best. So the best thing you can do is be an OPC number. But if you're not ready to commit to us yet, totally get it. Go to opc.me/workshops plural, and you can get on the waitlist and you will hear when the doors open for summer camp. And you can get the early bird special on all the goodness that's happening and you'll have lifetime access. So if you're like oh my gosh, guys, I'm busy. Guess what? You should buy it while it's on early bird because full price is a lot of money. And then you can have access to the replays. Also Cambodia. Oh my God. You guys. At the time we're recording this we only have one spot left in October.Brad Crowell 6:46 I just marked it and sold that.Lesley Logan 6:47 No way. Did we sell it? Brad Crowell 6:49 Well maybe.Lesley Logan 6:51 Don't count your chickens before they hatch, Brad. Anyways, I'm gonna say it because until it's sold out sold out. We have one spot left now according, this is March 28th. I'm recording earlier. So it might be sold out by then. But anyway, crowsnestretreats.com to see if there's one spot left in October and if not, you'll see the early bird rates are up, are already up for February 2025. What?Brad Crowell 7:10 Oh, yeah. Lesley Logan 7:12 For the first time since 2020 we will be back in Q1 of a year in Cambodia, which is a really unique time because the sunrises are a different color that I, here's the thing, I love how green everything is in October, but I prefer the sunrises in February. I know I'm weird, but like, hey, it's (inaudible).Brad Crowell 7:32 Just little drier. It's not quite as humid.Lesley Logan 7:34 Well, I like it (inaudible). It's always gonna be humid, it's Cambodia, but, it's Asia. But the sunrises are really cool. And it's not super close to the spring equinox. But it's like also close enough that you can kind of trick your camera into looking like the sun is right over the center. Because you know, you don't have to Photoshop you can just kind of angle it. So you want to go to crowsnestretreats.com to snag the early bird rates while they're still early bird rate. You don't want to pay full price for that. And then don't forget, if you're looking for a four-week Pilates challenge you can go to, you could always go (inaudible) you can always go to opc.me/challenge and hop into our mat or reformer challenge anytime. So it's a four week on the reformer or a four week on the mat. We start with 10 minutes. And these are accountability programs, it's really what they are and they're so fun and you get tips on how to like create a Pilates habit, and I made these for you. So use that. OPC.me/challenge. All right, Brad. Brad Crowell 7:34 That's not a guilt trip or anything but you should go do them anyway.Lesley Logan 8:35 Go do them. Just go do them.Brad Crowell 8:38 I love it. Yes, we do have an audience question because I know that's what you're about to ask me. Risa E, recently asked me on a call, hey, what is a client avatar? Lesley Logan 8:48 Okay. I mean, if we think back to Hilary Hartley, she doesn't like the word avatar because it sounds like a fake thing. And but here's the deal. We still call client avatars because it's shorter, because we were joking around with her like ideal real person client avatar. But your ideal client avatar, Brad will be more specific about this but the way you want to think about this is if you could carbon copy a person to do Brad Crowell 9:17 Your favorite Lesley Logan 9:18 Your favorite person that you ever, you're just like are so excited to (inaudible) them on your schedule or you have a shop, assuming your shop, didn't carbon copy this person that would be your avatar, your muse another way to think of that, your muse, your inspiration for what you do. But also it helps you understand how to talk to someone, who you're talking to. What are their problem? What is the problem they have? No one, people don't really need luxury items. So you have to be a solution to a problem they know they have. And so if you don't know who your avatar is your ideal real person client avatar. You are talking to everyone which means you're talking to no one. Even when we are talking to you on this podcast. I don't see your faces, but I am picturing some of the listeners who I know listen, hi guys, every single time the episode drops shout out to let's go, Heather, Amanda, hi mom. Oh my gosh, Laura. There's so many of you I don't want to leave anyone out but at the same like, I'm picturing you guys I know when I'm interviewing someone, I'm thinking about you, because I actually know the questions you would ask that person and so that is dictates how the episodes go and who I bring on the pod and things like that. And so what you need to think about is a real person that you want to speak to all of the time. And I know that niching down scares the hell out of you. Because oh my god, what if they reject you? Well, it just means your messaging is off. It doesn't mean it's not personal. And so that's what a client avatar is. (Inaudible) on that, Brad? Brad Crowell 10:43 Yeah, totally. I'm going to be going into this, you know, more in depth on the Accelerator on April 4th. So if you really want to get nerdy with me, go to prfit.biz/accelerator and join me for that workshop. It's a two-hour workshop. It's gonna be great. We're gonna dig into that. And also, how do you, you know, how do you actually bring more clients in your studio? And then how do you empower your clients to bring their friends and family into the studio? So if you are trying to jumpstart your studio's growth, or any of that kind of stuff, join me for that accelerator program. And yeah, as far as an ICA or an ideal client avatar, the idea is that somebody that you know you're talking to and so it allows you to visualize who they actually are. When you're connecting with them you're actually speaking their language in a way that will allow them to go ho, this girl is for me, this product is for me. Brad Crowell 11:43 Did you say ho? Ho!Brad Crowell 11:44 I was going to say hey yo and then I don't know I caught myself saying ho.Lesley Logan 11:51 (Inaudible) Christopher Walken singing Poker Face.Brad Crowell 11:55 P-p-p-poker Face. Oh that's the best YouTube video. Lesley Logan 11:58 Look it up, I promise you my ICA, listen to this, will love Christopher Walken.Brad Crowell 12:04 Singing Poker Face. Yeah. Google it. Alright, so anyway, yes, that is an ICA. Great question. Thanks, Risa. Love it.Lesley Logan 12:14 You guys can ask us any question you want. Someone just asked our entire team what pants I was wearing when I did a video and my team had to like track me down to go which pink shorts are these? Which I love. Okay, so Alright, let's talk about Kelli Adame. Brad Crowell 12:31 Kelli Adame, a seasoned relationship expert with a background in psychotherapy and coaching excels in guiding individuals and couples through the complexities of modern love and relationships. With a profound understanding of the balance between masculine and feminine energies, she offers nuanced guidance in communication, dating and building fulfilling relationships and marriages.Lesley Logan 12:53 Yeah, I wanted to have her back on because it was just so many. There's so many different things we could talk about when it comes to these and like the first time we had her on we had so many people who loved it. And I have to share this because so many people are like, oh my God there is this one person. Yeah, there was this one person who was like, I was into this until she said we have to be passive to be in our feminine energy. And it's like, she didn't say like, you just take what you get like, like she had no way to said like, just accept what's coming. It was very much like no, like be be willing to receive, you know? Brad Crowell 13:26 Yeah, I don't even remember if, I don't remember passive, but I remember the idea of receiving. Lesley Logan 13:32 Well, and I do think that that word came out in the interview when I was doing it because I listened to the whole thing. And before y'all get like a little triggered by it well, word, listen to the before and after take it in context. She explained what she, like she explained what she meant by passive. So when I was in the interview, listening to her and taking that in, I didn't take it as like, we should just like, be passive and just like, take what we could get it was very much an action of receiving and like we did a retreat recently, and one of my girls was wanting to give me a comment, I want you to receive this and I said, oh, I am, I'm gonna sit here, you're gonna tell me and I'm just gonna say thank you. And I'm not actually going to give you a compliment back. I'm just going to sit here in the receiving of that. So. So I think like. Brad Crowell 14:16 Also, I think that we have this weird preconceived notion that, you know, one person always demanding or getting and the other person is always receiving. And that is not what the context of that was. Nor is that reality, there's always a give and take in every relationship. So there are moments where you're receiving there are moments where I'm receiving and that is, hopefully, that's that's actually a healthy relationship.Lesley Logan 14:39 No 100% Because like, I also have never taken her explanation of like massive feminine energies and that there's this I won't say her name because I don't want to give her any air. But there's this one woman who like in her household, her husband makes all the decisions all the time. And I was like, no. That's a hard no. Brad Crowell 15:00 Yeah. That is called an unhealthy relationship. Lesley Logan 15:03 Because I can be in my feminine and also, when it's needed make decisions for this relationship for myself, I don't need permission. So anyways, I just wanted to highlight that because, again, one, first of all, there's always been someone who doesn't get something out of something. And also, ladies, we, there is a diviness to be in your feminine and it allows you a. to ditch the perfection and ditch the control and ditch always be responsible for everyone's feelings all the fucking time. Like, we gotta let it go. And if you are wanting to have a healthy relationship, it is going to be like, I make sure and I'm not always good at this, but I love to make sure that Brad feels needed. I can do a lot of shit around the house by myself. I mean, I did almost burn it down. But I can do a lot by myself. But also, it's like super good to, like, let you shine and do some cool, like, there's amazing things you've done with these shelves. And I'm like, yeah, actually really great. Love that. So anyways, I just had to like, get that out there. So I just love her and I love what she is talking about and doing. And so she said she talked, we talked about narcissistic parents, and that will often cause if you have a narcissistic parent, you will often be drawn to a narcissist in your relationships. And so just you know, keep that in mind my loves. We've had narcissistic parents. I'll never forget, my mom told us it was but like, I'll never forget the time she texts me she's like Etsy or Pinterest sent me this, such as this book called Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers, it's probably a good thing, you're not having a child because it's probably passed out like a hereditary trait. And so the narcissism can stop with you. So anyways, you can be drawn to a narcissistic partner. And she said, sometimes the work is more just spending time tending to yourself, it's actually a loving decision. And so again, like and you can be in your feminine energy, and just take care of you like just say no to things, take a hot bath, enjoy amazing music, like set a space for yourself. There's nothing selfish about that, that is actually like being in your feminine, really awesome. And she also talked about like, it doesn't matter where you are, or whatever you're doing, you can learn to fully embody your feminine energy in that way, or in different ways. And then she also said, if you, when you into when you're integrated in that feminine energy, you're going to attract something different. So if you find you keep attracting, this is why single ladies, I'm sure we have a few good men listening. But on Brad's actually doing All the Single Ladies right now he's dancing.Lesley Logan 17:46 If you're wanting to attract different things in your life, you have to actually have a different energy because we actually what we put out is what we are attracting things, right. So you actually are in control of that. And I just I was just listening to a happiness talk on Diary of a CEO and the guy was like, he's a scientist at this. And he says, no one likes when I say this, he's like, but you are actually in control of your happiness. You can change how you're feeling by the words you're using. And so I loved it, because it made me think of this interview. It's like, when we integrate our feminine energy, when we choose to be in that you are going to attract something different you are in control of how you attract things. So it's not passive.Brad Crowell 18:25 Right. Right? Yeah. So this was a really interesting conversation, for me to be a bystander in, on, at listening to, I remember being really intrigued during the first episode. And that happened for me again, this time, too, because just really, first off, she's very learned, right? And well educated about this kind of stuff, but also to the way she describes it makes me laugh. And also made me aware of things that may be happening in my life or in our relationship. That is like, oh, cool. Okay. I never even thought about it in that context before. She said that women are wired for relationships. She also said that men are wired for non-relationships or polygamy. And I thought that was interesting. Lesley Logan 19:22 You never heard that before. Lesley Logan 19:23 No. Oh, it's like a whole thing. Brad Crowell 19:26 Okay. Well, she said, she said, the, when it comes to why would a man who's wired for you know polygamy choose monogamy is because they like to win. And, you know, the hunters, right? They're trying to win. And what Kelli said is that when she's working with men, most often they actually don't feel appreciated in a relationship. And so why would they decide to stay in the relationship if they're not having, they're not feeling like they're winning. Right? I appreciated your comment about the shelves. It also made me laugh because I feel likeLesley Logan 20:16 I would just hire someone. Brad Crowell 20:18 Yeah, I don't think you would ever fucking do that. So letting me do that is pretty fun. Lesley Logan 20:22 Yeah, no, I would just hire someone. We had this conversation last night, you were telling me to do something like, or just hire the person to fix this.Brad Crowell 20:29 So what she talked about was criticizing or, you know, she said, the men that she works with often say, it doesn't matter what I do, I never feel like it's enough. I always feel like, you know, I'm being nitpicked or whatever. And I can do no, right, it's never enough. And so, you know, eventually, that builds up resentment and all those kinds of things. You know, so she, she then asked you, like, why would a man give up options for all the women to be in a relationship with a woman where he doesn't feel appreciated? I'm pretty sure that's not what she said. She actually said, why would I give up all the other vaginas? Just to have one? If I don't feel appreciated? Lesley Logan 21:07 Is that what she said and our team changed it. I love you guys. I do or call that oh, okay. I guess let's just talk about like vaginas? That's right. Yes.Brad Crowell 21:21 Which I was like, wow, okay, my jaw hit the floor. And she said because a man likes to win and if he can win with you, that is, that can be worth becoming monogamous and being excited to stay in a relationship in a committed relationship and all that kind of stuff. And so, there, you know, there's, it's kind of like a mission. It's built into humans into men, in this way that I've never really thought about it like this before, I didn't actually know that.Lesley Logan 21:58 It's interesting, because like, Brad Crowell 21:59 I don't feel like it is, I don't feel like it is, there is a bit of an ego, especially when we first started dating when I was like, like, I got you off the market, you know, kind of a thing, especially because Lesley Logan 22:10 (Inaudible) I told you don't take me off the market, if you're not gonna marry me. Brad Crowell 22:13 Well, it wasn't even just that I also knew that, you know, we were both also, like, seeing other people to try to figure out who we wanted to spend time with. Right? And so there definitely was a bit of pride that I felt as we decided to, you know, commit to each other, for sure, you know, and, but that was like, 10 years ago, you know, almost at this point. So, that.Lesley Logan 22:41 Really close to 10 years this summer. Brad Crowell 22:43 Yeah, kind of crazy. I haven't really thought about that in a really long time, to be honest. Lesley Logan 22:48 Well, I think the other thing is, like we were we were listening to (inaudible) talking about, like, six human needs. Right. And so we have an interesting thing when it's like certainty to me, right? And also, we need uncertainty. And so like, I also think, you know, I also feel for the woman who's also saying this to the man or make the man feel this way, because she probably also feels underappreciated. So but like, for to me, and I don't think that Kelli and I got into this, but like, if another certainly women who probably do this always, but for me, if I am starting to, if I find myself starting to nitpick or think about you in a negative way, it's because I am feeling I'm doing a lot. And I am feeling underappreciated as well. And so what happens is, when one person feels underappreciated, they start taking on the other person and the other person feels underappreciated, but like, literally no one's communicating about feeling underappreciated. And so I think that it's really important, because like, what I don't want is women to be like, yeah, he's not doing anything, probably. But also like, and also, there are other ways to say like, it means a lot to me when x, y, and z happens, and when this isn't happening, it makes it really hard for me to show up in this relationship in a in a positive way. Brad Crowell 24:07 Yeah, well, I mean, yes, that for sure. But also to what Kelli said, is, basically make sure let him know how he can win with you. Right? And, you know, what does that actually mean? And honestly, that ultimately comes down to communication. And, you know, I think that when you know what will win someone over, I'm just trying not to use the word win, but when you know how you can succeed in a relationship, you're more likely to do that.Lesley Logan 24:37 Well, it's also like, let's just say it as a job when you actually know how you're going to be appreciated at work, how are you gonna be recognized, how you're going to have affirmation at your job, you do it, right? If you're at a job, and I don't want to think of a relationship as a job, but like who okay she keeps, she, sorry guys are lovely Gaia is taking out a light, when you are at a job and you don't know how to win at your job or feel succeeded or have affirmation or feel like you're doing things, right. You feel lost, you feel confused, you feel frustrated, you get upset. It's the same thing. So not that your relationship is a job, but it's a, I think of our relationships Lesley Logan 24:37 It's an easy comparison. I mean, we go through it at the workplace, in the workplace, right? So, you know, yeah. I get that. Lesley Logan 25:23 Yeah. So I think like, for all any of you out there, like, I don't think relationships are ever easy. And I think it's actually always a give and take. And that's why I also love having Kelli back a couple of times to explain, like, both people in a relationship have both masculine and feminine. And it's important to know when you're in either of those, and then to communicate how you feel. And it is not easy. Like, it's, it's, it's never going to be easy. But if you really actually care about the person, it's actually worth the communication, it's worth the time. It's, it's worth understanding and hearing things from that person's perspective and figuring out how you can, you can do that.Brad Crowell 26:01 And here's how, like, here's the other side of it, is that when he knows how he can win with you, he will do his best to win with you, which is a win for you. Right? So, you know, I think ultimately, communication and clarity and understanding how, you know, you can, can set each other up to, you know, both be getting what you want in a relationship. That's, you know, so that's, that's like my biggest takeaway with it. Brad Crowell 26:30 All right. So finally, let's talk about those Be It Action Items, what bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted action items, can we take away from your convo with Kelli Adame? She said, to honor the masculine and look at where you are being critical, I thought this was again, I thought, this is really interesting. Look at where you are trying to teach or preach or change your man. And I find it hilarious that I'm the one saying this in this conversation right now, but. Lesley Logan 26:57 I'm not taking it as a note. So it's okay. Brad Crowell 26:58 Yeah. The, you know, what you discussed, which I'm just going to refer back to your conversation is that, obviously, it can be, it can turn into a mothering relationship, because one of the things you talked about was, you know, a, you know, badass high performing woman who ends up with, you know, a Peter Pan style, like, childlike man, who is just being taken care of you, we're talking about a specific relationship where three years in, she was like, I'm done, you know, and, and that was like, you know, annoying and complicated. And it was because, you know, the role was always the woman was driving things, being in the masculine, masculine energy, running things, providing all the things and, and then it never actually allowed for there to be the give and take. And to me, it doesn't sound like that. Man was trying to step up anyway.Lesley Logan 28:00 Yeah. Well, also like, and, you know, it depends on how the relationship started. Because also, like, if it started off with him being a Peter Pan and her always taking care of him. It's not like, magically one day he's gonna read her mind and step up, like, you know what I mean, like, I think that's another thing. Brad Crowell 28:15 That's true. Lesley Logan 28:16 I was listening to when we were on our way to Mexico I was listening to this podcast from various CEO with this sexpert, who she was talking about one of her books is like, it's like, how to stay married after having children, or how to have sex after having children, something like that. Anyways, she was explaining how, in a lot of relationships, when the child, a child has entered. First of all, there's so many things that happen to a female's body that make it complicated to have sex, you have to wait several weeks, after for things to heal, maybe longer depending on how things are going. And then she is tired. Because the baby wakes up all the time. And if the partner in her life isn't also stepping up in other ways to help out and she finds herself, making food for everybody and clean up after everybody and doing and scheduling things for everybody. Then she has the children and an adult child. And once she starts to mother, the husband and I'm not saying that that's her fault. Once that happens. Yep, it's no longer sexy, right? Because it'd be weird to want to have sex with your kid. And so (inaudible).Brad Crowell 29:29 Yeah, that's exactly right. And you talked about that too, with Kelli. And what she actually said which was, which I found really interesting was you said typically, the person who makes the first move in the relationship is the one that's taking on the masculine energy in the relationship.Lesley Logan 29:45 Yeah, you did that for us. I made sure of it.Brad Crowell 29:51 Anyway, glad I could step into that masculine role. Lesley Logan 29:54 You're so hot. Thank you so much.Brad Crowell 29:57 What was your biggest takeaway? Lesley Logan 29:58 Try to do an hour a day of checking in around just feeding your feel good time. And one of the other ways to describe this actually is Feel Good Friday. She takes half a day on Fridays, and she scheduled things that helps her feel good. And I think this is actually really if you are if you have stuck around on the feminine conversations and you still feel a little lost, go get your nails done. Go get your hair done, go get a massage. Why? When you get your nails done, you do feel pretty, but also you are receiving, someone's taking care of you when you get your hair done. Oh my God, I love to get my hair blown out. I love it because I will never do it for myself. And of course, I feel so pretty. I felt even with no makeup. I'm like, wow, I can be in a Vidal Sassoon commercial, I love this. And you feel more and more like taken care of and you're so busy taking care of others. You get a massage someone is like pouring into you. When you do Feel Good Fridays, it actually is going to be so much easier for you to step into your feminine because you're actually practicing the art of receiving. So I really, really love that. And then she said above all else like progress, not perfection which you know, we're all about here in the Be It Pod.Brad Crowell 30:34 I love it. Lesley Logan 30:47 I'm Lesley Logan.Brad Crowell 31:10 And I'm Brad Crowell.Lesley Logan 31:11 Thank you so much for listening to us, for being part of our conversations, for sending your questions in, for sharing the pod. I really do love when you guys just take screenshot of the pod and then tag me like it makes my day because I'm like, oh my God, they love this episode enough to share it. Like that's so cool. Also lets me know what episodes you're enjoying. So, continue to do that and until next time, Be It Till You See It.Brad Crowell 31:32 Bye for now.Lesley Logan 31:34 That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Lesley Logan 32:02 Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod. Brad Crowell 32:17 It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell. Lesley Logan 32:22 It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co. Brad Crowell 32:26 Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi. Lesley Logan 32:33 Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals. Brad Crowell 32:36 Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/be-it-till-you-see-it/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
Dr. Stefanie Johnson is an author, a professor, a keynote speaker, and she studies the intersection of leadership and diversity. And you're going to hear intersections and polarities in today's conversation. And I think what is really fascinating about Stef is that, in a world where we talk about things in leadership and things in diversity as soundbites, and we try to put them into labels and think in very black and white ways, Stef in her research and her findings and her theories really does speak in nuance. She focuses on how unconscious bias affects the evaluation of leaders, and also on strategies that leaders can use to mitigate bias. Stef has a great book called Inclusify, which is all about harnessing the power of uniqueness and belonging to build innovative teams. She thinks that inclusify, this idea of inclusion, is really about both uniqueness and belonging; so how do you let people have the autonomy to express themselves, while also understanding that they're part of something bigger than themselves. She is a well-established researcher and scholar. She works with some of the best companies in the world to help them create more inclusive leaders; we'll talk about her work with NASA and with the NFL. She also brings up her work in healthcare, she has extensive consulting experience, and she's created and delivered leadership development trainings with an emphasis on evidence-based practices. She's a fellow in the Society of Industrial Organizational Psychologists and the American Psychological Society. She's also passionate about disseminating her work more broadly and has taught two LinkedIn learning courses on how to increase diversity and inclusion in corporations. She's written for the Harvard Business Review and she's an in-demand keynote speaker; she's presented her work at over 170 meetings around the world, including at the White House for a 2016 summit on diversity in corporate America on National Equal Pay Day. She's been feature in the Wall Street Journal, Bloomberg, The Huffington Post, The Washington Post, CNN, ABC, NBC, and more. At her core, I think you're going to find her to be extremely approachable, extremely curious, and someone who's not necessarily judgmental, and open to finding ways to collaborate with others to make our world a little bit better. Stef had a number of amazing insights during our conversation. Some of them include: “We use stereotypes as quick methods of making sense of the world” (11:00). “You hear a lot ‘We want someone who's going to fit our culture.' I like to take a spin on that and say, ‘Who's going to add to our culture?” (14:20). “Having people who are all the same means we're probably missing out on a huge percentage of our customer base because we're only going to appeal to a certain type of customer” (15:05). “In conversation, when everyone sees things the same way, we make much less innovative, and even accurate, decisions. You're way better off having people who are really different from each other, even if they know less, than having a really similar group of experts” (15:20). “When you try to make people the same, the reality is people are just hiding their differences” (17:40), “The way that I describe inclusion… is this idea that you can be your unique self and at the same time you can belong” (23:00). “If [your employees are] going in [to work], provide opportunities to really benefit from that” (25:40). “Those little decisions about who's likely to get what opportunity are likely to be influenced by stereotypes” (32:00). “If you're only interviewing a small demographic… I can guarantee you you're never going to have any diversity. It's not possible. So, I love the idea of diverse slates because that means you might spot someone who could really be a game changer” (40:10). “You need white men to create diversity. You need all people” (42:30). “We need everyone working together, collaborating, to create an inclusive environment where everyone can be successful” (42:55). “If you really want a diverse background, you've got to think broadly about what that means” (48:05). “There are way more differences within generations than there are across generations” (49:00). “I seek to understand where people are coming from and how did they get there” (52:45). “Everyone got to where they are based on their life experiences” (53:15). “We can always be learning and growing, and we should always maintain that curiosity. And really, the best leaders are those who maintain humility, at least intellectual humility, to think they still have things to learn from others” (1:00:05). “Before you tell anyone the answer, ask questions” (1:00:35). “We all have headwinds and tailwinds, we all have privilege and things that slowed us down, and recognizing those in yourself, acknowledging them, I think allows you to be more curious about other peoples' experiences” (1:06:25). “We know curiosity is at its least when we feel attacked or threatened” (1:07:15). Additionally, you can learn more about Stef on her website, learn more about Inclusify on the Inclusify website, and also learn more about the Center for Leadership at Colorado Boulder here. Lastly, you can connect with Stef on Twitter, Instagram, and LinkedIn. Thank you so much to Stef for coming on the podcast! I wrote a book called “Shift Your Mind” that was released in October of 2020, and you can order it on Amazon and Barnes and Noble. Additionally, I have launched a company called Strong Skills, and I encourage you to check out our new website https://www.strongskills.co/. If you liked this episode and/or any others, please follow me on Twitter: @brianlevenson or Instagram: @Intentional_Performers. Thanks for listening.
National Equal Pay Day, National Potato Chip Day, & Are You For Or Against The Group Chat
The All Local morning update on Tuesday, March 14,2023.
Today is Black Women's National Equal Pay Day and Jasmine Tucker, research director at the National Women's Law Center will share some numbers with Dave Debo, on why such a day is necessary, the extent of the disparities, and what can be done about it. Then Jay Moran has a discussion with Stan Hudson of CAI Global and Ebony White from the Buffalo Health Equity Center
Sue Bethanis hosts Dr. Stefanie K. Johnson, Associate Professor of Management at the Leeds School of Business, University of Colorado Boulder. She holds a Ph.D. from Rice University and is particularly interested in the effects of unconscious biases in the evaluation of women and minorities to find ways to mitigate those biases. She is the author of Inclusify: The Power of Uniqueness and Belonging to Build Innovative Teams, an award-winning and groundbreaking guide, outlining the transformative leadership skill of tomorrow—one that can make it possible to build truly diverse and inclusive teams which value employees' needs to belong while being themselves.Dr. Johnson brings bias to light with an engaging and humorous approach to advanced scientific research, which has earned her numerous accolades and invitations to present her work at meetings around the world, including the White House for a 2016 summit on diversity in corporate America on National Equal Pay Day, and the 2016 Harvard Negotiation and Leadership Conference. She has published over 70 journal articles and book chapters in outlets such as Harvard Business Review, Journal of Applied Psychology, and The Academy of Management Journal. She has extensive consulting experience and has created and delivered leadership-development training with an emphasis on evidence-based practice. In recognition of her unique research, Dr. Johnson has been awarded nearly three million dollars in external funding to study leadership and create leadership development programs aimed at increasing safety. Media outlets featuring her work include The Economist, Newsweek, Time, and CNN.Sue and Stefanie discuss: how to support the seemingly contradictory needs of people to both standout and to fit in. the Inclusify Leadership Matrix – identify ways you can evolve your style to become an Inclusifyer. five specific habits for advancing inclusion in the remote/hybrid environment.
National Equal Pay Day was created in 1996 to raise public awareness and illustrate the disparity between men's and women's wages for the same work. Twenty-five years later, more remains to be done to close the gap, and employers continue to grapple with policies and processes to ensure women and minorities are paid equitably. In honor of this year’s National Equal Pay Day, this episode explores the continuing need for pay equity reform and how many factors, including social pressure and government enforcement, continue to push the issue to the forefront of employers’ agendas.
Each year, National Equal Pay Day reflects how far into the current year women must work to match what men earned in the previous year. Due to a gender gap in pay, it takes women an extra three months of wages to make up the difference. On average, women working full time and year-round are paid 82 cents for every dollar paid to a man who works full time and year-round. The wage gap is even greater for most women of color.
In today's "Reporter's Notebook" -- It's National Equal Pay Day, and a new report shows women are still paid far less than men. CBS News Correspondent Wendy Gillette has more from New York.
Today Is National Chocolate Covered Raisins Day, National Education and Sharing Day, National Equal Pay Day, National Cheesesteak Day, National Cocktail Day, International Day for Achievers, American Red Cross Giving Day, Education and Sharing Day, International Day for the Right to the Truth Concerning Gross Human Rights Violations and for Dignity of Victims, and World Tuberculosis DaySupport the show (https://www.patreon.com/Itstoday)
Stefanie Johnson is an associate professor at the University of Colorado Boulder’s Leeds School of Business and her new book is Inclusify: The Power of Uniqueness and Belonging to Build Innovative Teams. Professor Johnson studies the intersection of leadership and diversity, focusing on how unconscious bias affects the evaluation of leaders and on strategies that leaders can use to mitigate bias. She draws on her own experience as a Latina who grew up poor to inform her research. She is a member of the MG 100 Coaches, was selected for the 2020 Thinkers50 Radar List, and has presented her work at over 170 meetings around the world, including at the White House for a 2016 summit on diversity in corporate America on National Equal Pay Day.In this episode, Stew and Stefanie talk about how she has evolved in her thoughts and feelings about what it takes to create cultures that both celebrate individual differences and build a sense of belonging among members. Stefanie draws an important distinction between “diversity” and “inclusion” and she describes the various styles of leadership as they relate to the challenge of leading diverse, inclusive organizations. Based on her extensive research, Stefanie offers suggestions for what leaders at all levels can do to overcome the hurdles that stand in the way of inclusifying work organizations. Here then is an invitation, a challenge, for you, once you’ve listened to the conversation. Take the inclusify quiz here and find out which one of the leadership types suits you best. Then, try one of the recommended actions. What do you discover? Write to Stew Friedman to let him know, at friedman@wharton.upenn.edu, or connect with him on LinkedIn. While you’re at it, share your thoughts with Stew on this episode and your ideas for people you’d like to hear on future shows. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
Michael Imhotep host of The African History Network Show on 4-5-19 discussed National Equal Pay Day which was April 2nd, 2019. It wasn't Equal Pay Day for African American Women. It takes 20 months for the average Black Woman to make the same amount of money that the average White Male makes in 12 months. #BlackWomensEqualPayDay #EqualPayDay #FightFor15 Donate to The African History Network through PayPal @TheAHNShow@gmail.com or http://www.PayPal.me/TheAHNShow or visit http://www.AfricanHistoryNetwork.com and click on the yellow “Donate” button.
In her memoir, Barbara Bush has a lot to say about Nancy Reagan. So dishy! It's National Equal Pay Day. Prince Harry's oldest fan passes away at age 99. Why 18 year old's need to register for the draft. Yikes, Donny gave the wrong answer! Kardashians on Kimmel.
This is Robin Lofton and I want to welcome you to rememberinghistory.com where are remembering history and we’re making it. Hello, habari gani, nangadef! I’ll explain that one a bit later. Right now, you are at a safe place to remember African American history, a quiet place to reflect on the African American experience and a powerful place to make history every single day. I’m so glad that you’re here so we can share in this journey together. History should be a shared experience. So, let’s get started. This is the month that we, at rememberinghistory.com, remember and acknowledge the activists who are working for a better world, we reflect on the importance of activism in the African American community and we resolve to keep up the work of the activists—past and present—to make changes in our communities, our country and yes even our world. In April, we remembered the life and work of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. (one of the world’s foremost activists) who, sadly, was assassinated on April 4, 1968. This year, 2018, marks the 50thanniversary of his death. His legacy definitely endures. However, the goals and visions that he had for a better world have definitely NOT been realized. Poverty, injustice, economic, political and social inequality, violence, group supremacy. They are still a part of the American experience—the global experience, in fact—so we still have LOTS of work to do. And I’m so impressed with the constant, fearless of work of activists that are working and fighting to make a better world. Music Do you like movies? I don’t really care for movies. But there are exceptions. I’ve noticed that there are more movies about history and cultural experiences. And I really enjoy those kinds of movies. I’ve noticed, in particular, that there are more movies about African American history (or American history, actually) like Marshall, Loving, Twelve Years a Slave (based on the amazing book), Hidden Figures (again, based on the amazing book) and lots of others. They always make me think a lot—then I start doing research. And I learn so much. I was asked to make a presentation about the movie, Selma. Remember that movie about the Bloody Sunday march—it happened on March 7, 1965, on the Edmund Pettus bridge in Selma, Alabama. (Yeah, that name should be changed; he was a Grand Dragon of the Ku Klux Klan.) My presentation was simply to introduce the movie then we would watch the film and the audience would have a discussion about the importance of the march itself and voting rights in America. To prepare for this presentation, I watched Selma. I had already seen the movie but I watched it again just to be more familiar with it. I had forgotten what a powerful movie that it was so I was kinda seeing it again for the first time. Several things struck me about the movie. First, the importance of the activists in the film. Yes, there was Dr. King and the Southern Christian Leadership Conference, John Lewis and SNCC (the Student Nonviolent Coordinating Committee). Yes, they were important and powerful. But I was also impressed with people who showed up for the march for voting rights, the people who went to register to vote in Alabama like Annie Lee Cooper but was turned away by the registrar. By the way, Oprah Winfrey plays this role stunningly in the opening scene of the movie. I remember hearing so many people gasp when the registrar demanded that she name all of the judges in Alabama! There was Jimmy Lee Jackson, a 26-year old woodcutter, army veteran and father. Yes, he was a Black man. He had repeatedly tried to register to vote for many years and had been repeatedly denied. In the movie and in real life, he (along with his mother and grandfather) participated in a night march to protest the arrest of another activist—James Orange—who was being held in the county jail. During that night march, the local police attacked the marchers and chased them through the night, beating them. Jimmie Lee and his mother and grandfather ran into a café to hide but police found them and continued beating them. As Jimmie Lee tried to help his mother who had been hit with a billy club, a state trooper shot him repeatedly in the stomach. Bleeding and in terrible pain, Jimmie Lee ran outside where troopers continued to beat him until he collapsed. Jimmie Lee died 8 days later in the hospital. That part was one of the most moving and difficult scenes of the movie. By the way, it is commonly thought that the Bloody Sunday march was about voting rights. This is a misconception. The march was actually held to protest the shooting and murder of Jimmie Lee Jackson by the Alabama police. (Unfortunately, we’ve had a lot of those marches in the past few years too.) Let’s discuss another activist from the movie: Reverend James Reeb. After the Bloody Sunday march, Dr. King had asked all people of conscience from around the country to come to Selma for another march across the bridge. People of all faiths, races and ethnicities answered his call. Rev. Reeb was one of the people who didn’t hesitate to go to Selma to march for voting rights. Rev. Reeb was a 38-year old Unitarian Universalist minister from Boston. And, yes, he was white. He was also a member of the SCLC. And he insisted that his four children go to integrated schools and his church was also integrated. He went to Selma—answering Dr. King’s call—to march. For various reasons, the march didn’t happen on the scheduled day. That night, Rev. Reeb and several other ministers when out to dinner at an integrated restaurant. On their way home, Rev. Reeb was attacked by white supremacists. He was viciously beaten and died several days later. The movie showed his murder—for which no one was ever convicted—and it was another excruciating scene to endure. Reverend Reeb was a courageous and principled person who believed in equality, justice and the nonviolent fight for justice and equality. One activist who was mentioned in the movie but not shown for her courage and activism was Viola Liuzzo. She was a 38-year white woman, civil rights activist and mother of five from Detroit. Viola was also a member of the NAACP. She was not on the front lines of marches but played a supportive role by transporting people to and from marches, making lunches and even babysitting. She participated in the 54-mile march from Selma to Montgomery. After marching to Montgomery, she drove other participants home and was driving with 19-year old Leroy Moton back to Selma. Leroy was a black man who had also participated in the march. On a dark and lonely road, the Ku Klux Klan chased her and shot her in the head. The Klan thought that Leroy was dead so they left the scene. I know that a movie can’t show everything but I wished that they could have given more than a nod to Viola Liuzzo—she was a courageous activist, principled woman and a loving wife and mother. She deserves to be remembered. Well, that IS what we’re doing here today. We’re remembering the brave activists: Jimmie Lee Jackson, Reverend Reeb, Viola Liuzzo and many others who fought for justice and equality. And they made the world—our world—a better place. Why do I bring up these stories? Because this is April and we are focusing on activism and activists. Not every story can be told and there are so many from the Civil Rights Movement that will NEVER be told, but these people risked everything to make demands of their government, in this case to demand the right to vote for themselves and for others. And they demanded justice for Jimmie Lee Jackson. The word that comes to my mind: Respect. Music So, it’s time to look at the history calendar for this week. I have two calendars that I use: One is called The Peace Calendar printed by the SyracuseCulturalworkers which is a progressive publisher committed to peace, sustainability, social justice, feminism and multiculturalism. The other is calendar is called A History of Racial Injustice, printed by the Equal Justice Initiative. EJI is committed to ending mass incarceration and excessive punishment in the United States, to challenging racial and economic injustice, and to protecting basic human rights for the most vulnerable people in American society. Both groups are doing excellent work. Just to give them a shout out, you can purchase their calendars and other products at the rememberinghistory.com website. And, of course, you can make a donation to them to support their work. You’ll find the link at rememberinghistory.com. Hey, we gotta work together! History is full of things that are interesting and uplifting as well as the disturbing and downright horrific and this week is no different. Let’s start with the interesting: In the United States, this is National Library Week! So, this is a great time to visit your local public library and perhaps even thank a librarian. Where I live very few public libraries are still open, which is such a shame. As a child, I cherished the days that I spent reading and exploring in my neighborhood library. So, this is a good week to visit a library—actually, every week is a good week to visit a library. One library that I absolutely love is the African American Museum and Library in Oakland. This is a fantastic combination of historical exhibits with a fully functioning and very comfortable library. Yes, the focus is on the African American experience so the AAMLO (as it is called) offers speeches, jazz and blues concerts, activities for children and an excellent selection of books on African American history and culture. Highly recommended. Go to rememberinghistory.com for more information and links. Next, we’ll look at this week’s uplifting event in history. April 10 is the birthday of Dolores Huerta--an American labor leader and civil rights activist who co-founded the United Farm Workers. Born in 1930, Dolores Huerta began her career teaching elementary school. After teaching elementary school, Huerta left her job and began her lifelong crusade to correct economic injustice:[2] She is quoted as saying, “I couldn't tolerate seeing kids come to class hungry and needing shoes. I thought I could do more by organizing farm workers than by trying to teach their hungry children.” Ms. Huerta is a strong and persistent advocate for the rights of migrant farmworkers, directing the UFW during the historic national grape boycott from 1965 to 1970. That famous boycott led to the signing of a collective bargaining agreement for farmworkers. She also fights for consumer rights and women’s rights. As an advocate for farmworkers' rights, Huerta has been arrested twenty-two times for participating in non-violent civil disobedience activities and strikes, Huerta has been arrested 22 times and suffered severe beatings from law enforcement. She remains[when?] active in progressive causes. This is an uplifting story about a courageous woman from humble beginnings who fought bravely for causes that improved the lives of one of the most vulnerable groups in the United States, the migrant farmworkers. Her story is inspirational, uplifting, educational and still continuing. If you would like more information about Dolores Huerta, there is new documentary, called simply, Dolores, that aims to put Huerta where she belongs – alongside Malcolm X, Martin Luther King, Cesar Chavez, and Gloria Steinem as one of the most important US activists and organizers of the 20th century. You can find the DVD or link to the download on the rememberinghistory.com website. On to the disturbing. April 12 is National Equal Pay Day (in the United States). This important day was founded in 1996. That’s not disturbing. The disturbing part is that, in 2017, Women’s average pay in the United States is still only 79 percent of men’s pay for the same work! While I’m happy about the many advances that women have made, there is clearly more work to be done before we can start patting ourselves on the back or, even worse, getting complacent. So, perhaps we shouldn’t celebrate or commemorate National Equal Pay day until we actually have equal pay. It is possible! Or as Dolores Huerta said, “si, se puede!” (She coined that term long before Barack Obama.) Finally, to end with the downright horrific. April 14, 1906. A white lynch mob hangs and shoots to death Fred Coker (aged 20), William Allen (aged 25) and Horace Dunn (aged 20), three black men, before a crowd of 5,000 in a town square in Springfield, Missouri. They had been arrested for robbery and rape though they had strong alibis showing that they did not commit the crimes. The remaining African American population was forced to flee their homes out of fear of continued mob violence. Lynching was a form of racial terrorism used by whites to keep blacks under their thumb once slavery ended. Over 4,000 African Americans (AMERICANS) were lynched from 1877 to 1950. You can get more information on lynching in history and the modern forms of violence against African Americans on the Equal Justice Initiative website—www.eji.org. BTW, you might feel that it does not make sense to mention people who were lynched, especially when it was so long ago—more than a hundred years ago in the cases that I just mentioned. But I feel that it IS important. These were people. Individuals. And they were killed because of racism—hatred from the mob that killed them AND hatred from the criminal justice system that failed to punish the murderers and from the society that found it acceptable to kill people because of their race. During those times, the NAACP would put up a sign outside of its window whenever they were notified that a person had been lynched. The sign said simply, “A man was lynched today.” We must not forget that it happened or ever diminish its importance no matter how long ago it was. Finally, this does make me think about the African Americans that we hear about very often that are killed by police, security guards or private citizens, the justice system that refuses to punish the offenders AND the society that finds it acceptable. Gotta think about it. This has been a busy week in African American history and we have just scratched the surface. I hope (like I said about movies earlier) that YOU will dig deeper, do more research and learn more. There is always more to learn. If you want more guidance or support in your efforts, you might want the services of a history coach. A history coaching service is available at the rememberinghistory.com website to help guide you through the material, answer questions, provide materials, make suggestions for your research or study approach, and support you every step of the way. History is important but it is not always pretty or easy. And no one needs to approach it alone at rememberinghistory.com. The coaches are there to help and happy to work with you in whatever way suits you. *****MUSIC***** At the beginning of this show, I greeted you with Habari gani. You might know that greeting from the Swahili language. The regular Rememberinghistory.com listeners will remember it from the December show when we celebrated Kwanzaa. I also greeted you with Nangadef. That is a greeting that I recently learned when I visited Senegal. Nangadef is a greeting in the Wolof language that asks “how are you?” The traditional response is to say “Mangifi” meaning I’m fine. Why do I bring this up? I’m reflecting on my trip to Senegal. Travelling is a great way to learn about another culture, language and history. There was lots of this in Senegal! One of the main reasons that I went was to visit the island of Goree. Goree was an important part of the TransAtlantic slave (or, rather, people) trade for more than 400 years. This is where many people where held—after they had been captured—to be transported to Europe and the Americas where they would be enslaved. More than 20 million people passed through the ominous “door of no return” for the three-month journey that ultimately ended with their enslavement in America, Brazil, the Caribbean, England or another country. Twenty million people! And, I learned that another 6 million people died either on the island of Goree or on the journey across the ocean. I saw the small, dark rooms where the men, women and children were held for months awaiting the terrible journey. The rooms were overcrowded, small, dark and damp. People were let out of the room only one time per day to use the bathroom. I also saw the chains and leg-cuffs that were put on them and the punishment room. It was chilling. I stood at the Door of No Return where people left the island and boarded the ships headed to their enslavement in different parts of the world. Strangely, the island place was beautiful: the water was clear and blue, the ocean air was crisp and fresh and the sun was shining. But this was the last view that (at least) 20 million people saw before going below deck and emerging in a new country to be sold into slavery. Goree is a UNESCO World Heritage Site and I highly recommend visiting this important place. While I have read a lot about the transatlantic people trade and the Isle de Goree specifically, I felt an emotional response when I actually visited the island. And I learned so much. So, I’m reflecting on the importance of travel as a way of learning and experiencing and FEELING history. Of course, there is a lot more to Senegal than the Island of Goree. And my guide took me to great places like the cemeteries where both Muslims and Christians are buried, great markets where local people are selling their products—not tourist products—but products for every day living like peanuts (or groundnuts), peanut oil, shea butter, clothes, fresh meats and so much more. We passed on the animal reserves—I’ve got nothing against animals—because we decided to visit the University of Dakar, which has 60,000 students. We weren’t able to sit in on a class but we visited some libraries and bookstores. Another campus is being built and I’m excited to return and visit it. Finally, we visited a Muslim mausoleum which was interesting for many reasons. One main reason was that women had to wear white head coverings and long white skirts. People were there to help you dress properly. When I saw myself dressed in that way, I was shocked. I had never seen myself in this manner and it was eye-opening and mind-expanding. No, I don’t always want to dress in that manner. But I realized that travelling can help you to see yourself and the world in a different way. And I was grateful for the experience. So, my reflection for this week is that travelling can be educational AND fun. Try to leave the resorts and the beach, get off the bus, go for a walk, ask questions and be open-minded. And take it all in. Music It’s story time! Storytelling is a great part of the African American experience, given to us from African cultural traditions. I am pleased to present this story (or fable) written by master storyteller, Eshu. The theme is purpose. Let’s begin with taking a few deep, cleansing breaths to help us focus on this story and its important lessons. Take a moment to get comfortable. Now, breathe in through your nose then out through your mouth. Let’s begin. This story is called The Name of the Tree. Written by master storyteller, Eshu at folktales.net. The Name of the Tree Once there was a terrible drought in the land of the animals. A kindly king came from over the mountain and planted a special tree. He told them that this tree would bear fruit all year round in any kind of weather. All they had to do to get the fruit was to speak its name. The name of the tree was Oowungalema. The animals thanked the kind old king and he returned to his own land, which was far over the mountain. The animals then sounded the Great Drum to call everyone for miles around. When all were gathered at the tree, the lion asked Anansi to speak the name of the tree. "I thought you were going to remember the name!" said Anansi. "I don't remember the name!" said the lion, "Someone must know it!" They asked everyone who had been there when the old king planted the tree, but not one of them could remember the name of the tree. They decided to send someone to ask the king for the name. They were all very hungry, so they decided to send someone fast. They sent the hare. The hare ran as fast as he could through villages, across the river, through the bush, over the mountain and straight to the court of the kindly old king. The king told him, "The name of the tree is Oowungalema." The hare ran back, repeating the name to himself as he went along. On the way home, he stopped at the river to rest and take a drink. The water was nice and cool. It felt good after all that running. The hare splashed around for a while to cool himself off, then he got out of the water and started back to the tree. When he got back, the animals all cheered. "Now we can have the fruit! " they shouted. Hare went up to the tree to speak the name, "Oomagamoomoo, no, oobapadoopa, Noomooogamooga" Try as he might, the hare just couldn't remember the name. "We have to send someone else." Lion said at last. So the springbok was sent. She ran all the way to the king over the mountain and tried to keep the name in her head all the way home, but coming through the forest, she tripped over a root and bumped her head. The name was lost again. Next they sent Leopard, but on the way back he started chasing a monkey who was teasing him. He forgot the name as well. Many others tried and failed until finally, the tortoise asked if she might go. Most of the animals laughed because the tortoise is so slow. "Give her a chance!" Anansi said, "She may succeed where the rest of us have failed." The tortoise went to her mother and asked, "What do you do if you must remember something very important?" Her mother told her to keep repeating it no matter what happens. So the tortoise set out on her journey. When she reached the king over the mountain, he said, "The name of the tree is Oowungalema." Tortoise kept repeating it over and over to herself all the way home. When the monkeys teased her in the forest, she only said, " Oowungalema." When she passed by the river and the sound of the water made her thirsty, she looked at the water and said, "Oowungalema." And when she got near her house and her children came running to her, she only said, "Oowungalema." Finally, the tortoise came to the tree. All the other animals were anxiously waiting. The lion spoke, "Tortoise, please speak the name of the tree." Tortoise said, "Oowungalema." At last, the animals were able to eat the fruit. Everyone was grateful to the tortoise who kept to her purpose where every one else had failed. The end. What did you think? Well, I liked this story—of course, I selected it because I like it—but I think that really showed everyone can get distracted away from their purpose. They get caught up in the busyness, thinking that their accomplishing their mission. Then what happens? They realize that they don’t remember how to say Oowungalema (like in the story), or they haven’t done their homework, done their regular fitness, spent time with their partner, written their business plan, done their meditation or whatever mission they set out to do. Or they sit around complaining about injustice, grousing at the latest silly thing that President Trump has said, or they watch CNN obsessively. But they don’t stick to their mission as ACTIVISTS. It’s easy to get distracted; to forget one’s purpose or mission. And I think that this story shows it well. And even offers a solution to prevent it from happening. I liked it and I hope that you did too. But I would love to hear your ideas about the story at the rememberinghistory.com website. By the way, if you DID enjoy that story and found the history calendar events when we discussed great activists like Delores Huerta, Jimmie Lee Jackson and African American historical events and achievements, you might like to learn more—because they is lots more! Rememberinghistory.com is committed to bringing this information to you in a fun, educational and memorable way. I’m talking about our Black History Kits. These kits are designed to teach history through videos, games (crosswords), fun quizzes, recipes and books. These multi-dimensional kits will guide you step by step through learning different parts of African American history (like the slavery and reconstruction periods, Black activism and great achievements) as well as experiencing Black culture through making delicious recipes, listening to great music and reading African folktales. Learning history should be fun. And these Black history kits ARE fun, educational and unforgettable. There is lots to choose from for adults, kids and families. I hope that you’ll look at them on the rememberinghistory.com website. And mention this podcast for a free gift! Now it’s time to come to wind things down. Let’s end by taking a few deep breaths to help you absorb and relax. In through your nose then out through your mouth. Again, in through your nose then out through your mouth. Last time, and let’s make this a big inhalation through your nose, then slowly release your breath through your mouth. That’s great. If you like, you can stay for a 5-minute guided meditation to help you relax. Learning history is fun and interesting and definitely important. But it can also cause tension or stress and bring about emotions like anger or fear. And you might feel the need to relax and release some of the tension or difficult emotions. So, I welcome you to stay for the relaxation meditation will begin immediately after this show. No pressure. No guilt. Everyone makes his, her or their own decision. And, if you don’t have time right now, you can always find this short meditation on the rememberinghistory.com website. I’m Robin at rememberinghistory.com where we are remembering history AND we’re making it. Every day! Bye for now. *****MUSIC*****
April 10th is National Equal Pay Day. The day each year, historically, it takes women to receive the same amount of pay as their male counterparts make in a calendar year. The average pay a woman takes home is 82-percent of a man's wages. In Utah, women only make 70-percent for every dollar a man does. Kevin Bauer of BCJ Financial, has 3-tips women should do to make sure they are set for retirement. And he discusses with host Heather Kelly why it's important women to make the same amount a man does for the same work. You can follow the show on Twitter and on Facebook. And to see what Heather does when she's not talking money, go to her personal Twitter page.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Although EVEsdropping typically comes out each Wednesday, we decided to put this one out a day early in honor of Equal Pay Day (which is April 4th this year). What is Equal Pay Day? We're so glad you asked! National Equal Pay Day is the day in the year women must work to “catch up” to men’s earnings from the previous year. White women make 80% of what men make in the workplace, so it has taken us until today to make what men made in 2016. African American women’s equal pay day will be July 31st. Latina women’s equal pay day will be November 2nd. Why does the gender pay gap exist? Here are a few reasons: https://actuallyshecan.com/Content/pdfs/mentorship/leadership_gender_gap.pdf We put together a handy little infographic about the Pink Tax (aka all the sh*t we have to pay for that men don't): https://earnspendlive.com/2017/04/pink-tax-how-expensive-woman/ What’s Going on in the News? The Mindy Project will end after season six.
In this episode, we discuss Twitter acquiring Peer, Benioff using Microsoft's HoloLens, Dan Lyons' comments on Hubspot, National Equal Pay Day, Keith Block's new watch, Salesforce's Proxy Statement for 2016 Annual meeting of Stockholders, Salesforce being sued for discrimination, and Amazon reaching $10 billion in sales.Twitter acquires employee-feedback startup PeerSalesforce's CEO was blown away by Microsoft HoloLens when his friend Satya Nadella gave him a demoJim Cramer Gives a Shout Out to Salesforce.com on #EqualPayDaySalesforce bought its new COO a $41,000 watchShareholder rageCongratulations! You’ve Been FiredTwo women allege discrimination at Salesforce's Indy officesSalesforce CEO Marc Benioff is freezing his salary after hearing complaints about his $40 million payHillary Clinton: Salesforce and Gap are getting equal pay rightThe Two Women Who Kicked Off Salesforce's Company-Wide Salary ReviewIntroducing Salesforce for MessengerWe now know how the FBI unlocked the San Bernardino shooter’s iPhone: hackersAmazon Web Services could crush $10 billion in sales
It's National Equal Pay Day, which symbolizes how far into the year women must work to earn what men earned in the previous year. The Gliberal Goddesses gather to discuss what that means! Plus Poli Sci Professor and author Thomas Schaller on the GOP efforts toward a constitutional convention to force a balanced budget amendment and weigh in on 2016 so far.
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