Podcasts about inaudible

TODAY on the show we started off as we always do on a Monday with some weekend recaps! We also got into some MLB and NBA talk and announced our Sports Picks winner. We got in our Days of the Week and received brand new PRIDE Word of the Day! We got into some Sarah B Trending. Dee and Lex talked about their experience going to Sarah's dance class. We got into some Talk Nerdy to Me and Celebrity Death Pool. We also learned about the latest and greatest in celebrity nudity from Mr. Skin. TOMORROW on the show Dee sings WHITE ROCK!CLIP OF THE DAY: He Forgot His Old Man Pills 100:00:00,000 --> 00:00:01,400Hey, you're in Lexington, Terry.200:00:01,400 --> 00:00:03,200Good morning, Sydney.300:00:03,200 --> 00:00:05,200No.400:00:05,200 --> 00:00:10,800Oh, I went to CACDC and I didn't grow it when you liked that.500:00:10,800 --> 00:00:12,800Did you have a good time overall?600:00:12,800 --> 00:00:13,600I wrote.700:00:13,600 --> 00:00:14,800We had a great time.800:00:14,800 --> 00:00:16,600I went with Brad.900:00:16,600 --> 00:00:18,500He's only 10 years older than me,1000:00:18,500 --> 00:00:21,200but I looked like 30 years younger.1100:00:21,200 --> 00:00:22,800I was surprised.1200:00:22,800 --> 00:00:25,800[LAUGHTER]1300:00:25,800 --> 00:00:27,800Is that miserable?1400:00:27,800 --> 00:00:29,100You are adorable.1500:00:29,100 --> 00:00:30,400Did he drive?1600:00:30,400 --> 00:00:32,400He drove the two-hole to drive.1700:00:32,400 --> 00:00:33,400He didn't.1800:00:33,400 --> 00:00:34,400We ride the motorcycle.1900:00:34,400 --> 00:00:35,200I couldn't.2000:00:35,200 --> 00:00:36,900We went to William Nelson.2100:00:36,900 --> 00:00:38,900Oh, my God.2200:00:38,900 --> 00:00:43,300He'd better to stage A, and he took me to CACDC or Barrel in Parkway.2300:00:43,300 --> 00:00:44,300Oh, yeah.2400:00:44,300 --> 00:00:45,700Yeah, Roe Vance.2500:00:45,700 --> 00:00:46,900Oh, man.2600:00:46,900 --> 00:00:51,800We had an Airbnb, and he wouldn't even do anything with me.2700:00:51,800 --> 00:00:52,300Why?2800:00:52,300 --> 00:00:53,700Did you want him to?2900:00:53,700 --> 00:00:58,700I was up into the situation, but he forgot his old man,3000:00:58,700 --> 00:01:00,300and he drove.3100:01:00,300 --> 00:01:02,300[LAUGHTER]3200:01:02,300 --> 00:01:05,300[LAUGHTER]3300:01:05,300 --> 00:01:07,300[LAUGHTER]3400:01:07,300 --> 00:01:10,300[INAUDIBLE]3500:01:10,300 --> 00:01:12,300[INAUDIBLE]3600:01:12,300 --> 00:01:13,800That's got to be a touch.3700:01:13,800 --> 00:01:17,500No, he didn't get his web satirac, either.3800:01:17,500 --> 00:01:19,100[LAUGHTER]

Relax and unwind with gentle, inaudible whispers just for you. In this soft-spoken ASMR session, I'll be right by your ears with calming attention and subtle sounds to help you drift away into deep sleep. ✨ I like to listen to these as a soothing background noise that feels anticipatory and give me tingles :) #ASMR #GentleWhispering #inaudible

Welcome back!  This video was inspired by an old Gracev video!  I haven't practiced inaudible whispers in awhile, but while filming I felt inspired to make a more dedicated inaudible video.  Also, I apologize for the unintentional bird sounds, I ended up filming this around 5 am, because I had a lot of mic interference and I'm trying to film up until my birthday.  I truly hope you enjoy! Many blessings and the sweetest of dreams!

durée : 00:58:28 - Cultures Monde - par : Mélanie Chalandon, Julie Gacon - Si le pacifisme a toujours été un pilier de la diplomatie vaticane, il l'est encore davantage sous le pontificat de François. Mais la question de son audibilité se pose, tant dans le contexte de la guerre en Ukraine que dans le conflit israélo-palestinien. - réalisation : Vivian Lecuivre - invités : François Mabille Politiste, directeur de l'Observatoire de géopolitique des religions à l'Institut des Relations Internationales et Stratégiques (IRIS); Constance Colonna-Cesari Journaliste et réalisatrice, spécialiste du Vatican

Pierre-François a répertorié des grosses gaffes de l’histoire Félix-Antoine affirme qu’il est bien tout seul Et Marie-Josée a un gros aveu à faire

Recorded 2025-02-22 17:31:00

Hoist is put in charge of a training mission, but can he keep Hot Shot and Wedge from wrecking everything trying to out-Main Character each other? Then, the recruits have an all-too-real rescue mission in Griffin Rock, and Medix has an unconventional idea to save the day! But what were the grown-ups doing that was more important than this!? Join us this week for the Rescue Bots Academy episodes “Mission Inaudible” and “Glitch”!

ASMR Face Attention for Relaxation (no talking, crinkles, inaudible whispeAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Este poema forma parte de Armisticio, un poemario que escribí en 2014 y nunca publiqué. Este es un texto que habla sobre aquello a lo que no le prestamos atención, pero sucede a nuestro alrededor.

Learn what are (and are not) the ways the Lord speaks to His people and how we can hear Him today.

Learn what are (and are not) the ways the Lord speaks to His people and how we can hear Him today.

Learn what are (and are not) the ways the Lord speaks to His people and how we can hear Him today.

Learn what are (and are not) the ways the Lord speaks to His people and how we can hear Him today.

Learn what are (and are not) the ways the Lord speaks to His people and how we can hear Him today.

Learn what are (and are not) the ways the Lord speaks to His people and how we can hear Him today.

Learn what are (and are not) the ways the Lord speaks to His people and how we can hear Him today.

Learn what are (and are not) the ways the Lord speaks to His people and how we can hear Him today.

Learn what are (and are not) the ways the Lord speaks to His people and how we can hear Him today.

Learn what are (and are not) the ways the Lord speaks to His people and how we can hear Him today.

Hola chiquirriqui, welcome to mis audios de ASMR espero que te relajes mucho con mi voz. Si quieres estar más cerca de mi sígueme en INSTAGRAM @MerithArandaa Besitos. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/merithasmr/support

Un acteur du monde du foot est l'accusé du soir. Il est ensuite défendu avant le verdict du juge

ASMR Study With Me! (Inaudible whispers, tapping, paper sounds, keyboard, stAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Lesley and Brad recap an insightful conversation with Dr. Jan Schroeder, Ph.D., an expert in exercise physiology, focusing on fitness and self-care during perimenopause. This episode offers actionable insights on how to adapt your exercise routine and lifestyle habits to support your health during this transition.If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co. And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.In this episode you will learn about:Pros and cons of using the AeroPilates reformer for home practice.The impact of perimenopause on women's reduced physical activities.Understanding the role of cortisol in your body during menopauseAdjusting workout routines to align with your body's changing needs.Why crucial to give yourself permission to adjust your fitness goals.Episode References/Links:eLevate Mentorship ProgramCambodia February 2025 RetreatTry Out OPC $40 for 40 DaysPilates Studio Growth AcceleratorOPC PerksFemGevity  If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. DEALS! Check out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper's Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox Be in the know with all the workshops at OPCBe It Till You See It Podcast SurveyBe a part of Lesley's Pilates MentorshipFREE Ditching Busy WebinarResources:Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!Lesley Logan websiteBe It Till You See It PodcastOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley LoganOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTubeProfitable Pilates Follow Us on Social Media:InstagramFacebookLinkedIn  Episode Transcript:Lesley Logan 0:00  She advocates that you have to have a holistic approach to combining exercise, nutrition and hormonal management to navigate menopause effectively. And she really gave us some tools on just adjusting our behavior so it's not like this negative thing, but actually it supports these changes, because these changes don't have to be a bad thing. There's positives to it as well. Lesley Logan 0:20  Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started. Lesley Logan 1:01  Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview recap where my co-host in life, Brad, and I are going to dig into the implementable convo I had with Jan Schroeder in our last episode. If you haven't yet listened to this one, you should go back and listen. It's a perimenopause one, guys, we finally got someone who really is like a wealth of knowledge in this area and on a specific niche of it. And I'm so, so excited for it to hear, for you to hear all of it. So anyways, you're gonna want to listen to this and listen to that. Today is September 12th 2024 and it's Are You Okay Day. So the history of Are You Okay Day, in 1995 Barry Larkin's death by suicide left his family and friends in deep grief and with unanswered questions. In 2009, his son, Gavin Larkin, chose to do something about his father's death. He came up with just one question to honor his father and prevent more suicides: "Are you okay?" Gavin and a few of his friends decided to turn it into a national campaign from this realization and with their expertise and passion, R U OK? was born. So Gavin actually passed away in 2011 but truly held onto the belief that a conversation could change a life. His legacy is now a national conversation movement. R U OK? is a harm and suicide prevention charity that encourages people to have conversations that help others and themselves navigate the difficult times in their lives. You can learn more about R U OK? on the thing, it's really wonderful what they're doing. There's also some really other amazing charities. Our friend, Mai, is actually part of the Nevada suicide prevention.Brad Crowell 2:23  Yeah, it's ruok.org and I think it's ..org.au Lesley Logan 2:28  Awesome. Brad Crowell 2:29  And that's A, not A-R-E, it's the letters R and then the letter U, ruok.org.auSpeaker 1 2:37  There's also, in the States, there's the AFSP and this one, you can learn more about suicide. You can learn how to help prevent it. And usually, different states have their own local organizations of those. So, really important and if you are needing a phone number, 1-800-273-TALK (8255) is the phone number you can call for prevention, lifeline for suicide. And there's also a lot more information on calling it death by suicide or died by suicide, because there's a lot more research around why this is happening, how this is going on. And it's not as selfish as we have come to think. So it's really, really important that you check that out. All right, some upcoming events and travel. Like we said last week, we're kind of sitting around and that and in Las Vegas and enjoying the best time of the weather that is here. But we're also thinking big time about 2025 because it's gonna be here before we know it. And a lot of the things we work on are years in the making. So eLevate, which is our mentorship program, that is something we actually accept applications for early, because it's a big program, and we wanna make sureBrad Crowell 3:39  It's a commitment, it's a, you know, the transformation that you are going to get is massive. Speaker 1 3:45  And it also is something that will continue to change and evolve in your life over time. So it's not like you just do it for nine months and it's over. There's like, more that you get out of it. It's like a fine wine, it just, or a tequila, right? So if you are a teacher interested in our mentorship program, go to lesleylogan.co/elevate and you can learn more about it. You can hear what our past grads had to say. We've now had 49 people do the program, 50 people.Brad Crowell 4:10  Yeah,Something like that. Lesley Logan 4:10  Yeah. And I'm, just because we keep the groups nice and small. So I'm really, really excited for 2025. Also in 2025 is our February Cambodia retreat. Brad Crowell 4:18  Yeah, come join us. Lesley Logan 4:19  Oh, my God. I cannot wait to spend a week with the people who have signed up. I'm really, really excited to get to know them more. We do Pilates classes, we tour temples, we go to Lotus farms. Brad Crowell 4:27  We had two more sign up. It's gonna be great.Lesley Logan 4:28  I know it's gonna be so amazing. So crowsnestretreats.com is where you can get more information on the retreat. And by the way, like you can come straight to Cambodia and leave and be home and only miss like eight days of your busy life, or you can hit Thailand or Laos or Vietnam on your way in or your way out, and like, really make Southeast Asia a tour and a trip. And we curate the week for you on this retreat. It's really fun. We do breath work. We do a lot of work on life balance and things like that. Plus we get to enjoy a beautiful country. Brad Crowell 4:32  Plus lots of Pilates. Lesley Logan 4:54  Lots of Pilates. And because you are listening to this, you might actually be a little Pi-curious, Pilates curious. And so we hope that you check out onlinepilatesclasses.com as a way to get more Pilates in your life. We really do pride ourselves in making it easy and accessible to get accountability and community and feedback on your form at OPC. So go to opc.me/40 because you can take Pilates classes from us in our app. You can talk to us about the class in our app, and you can celebrate others in there as well. Brad Crowell 5:32  And if you're a business owner, whether that's a super small business owner just getting started, maybe you have one home client or something like that, all the way to I've got multiple studios. If you're feeling stuck with your money, I want you to come join me for a free webinar that I'm hosting called the Pilates Studio Growth Accelerator. And we're going to be uncovering three big secrets that we've come to realize over the years after having coached more than 2000 businesses coming through our coaching program, join me at prfit.biz/accelerator. That's profit without the O dot biz slash accelerator to sign up for free. Lesley Logan 6:09  All right, before we get into the amazing conversation, I had with Jan about our fitness and perimenopause, we've got an audience question to answer, yes? Brad Crowell 6:16  Yeah, we sure do. "Is the AeroPilates reformer sufficient for reformer training in a small space or a piece of junk, and I should just try to find a legit reformer somewhere else to practice with?" asks @etain.pilates on the YouTube.Speaker 1 6:31  Yeah. So we actually even went deep into discussion, because I had several questions about affordable reformers for home practice and things like that. So there is an actual long form answer to this question, and I'm going to give you a snippet of it, and hopefully, if you need more information, you go watch that. Actually I have two videos. We have one on how to choose reformer for at home, and then we have me answering this question, like, how do I find affordable reformer at home? So I'm not going to call anything junk, especially when I don't know why it was created. Something that's really important to note is that Pilates equipment is typically created for the style of Pilates that's designed to go on it. Just like a treadmill or a bike or, you know, any kind of fitness thing, it is created for the style of work that you're going to do on it. So for me, if you are trying to do Pilates that's more classical or even typical contemporary I'm not talking like athletic reformer, because I don't know more about that. Then I don't know that the AeroPilates is going to be sufficient enough for home practice, because it's going to limit you, and it's going to change things in a way that you can't modify. So the foot bar, for example, it's not going to be the angle you're used to when you teach or you go to a studio, the straps, the handles, the bungee cord versus spring. So I'm not going to say it's junk. I'm going to say that if you are trying to deepen your reformer practice, it's going to be like you don't see sprinters for the Olympics training on ice skates. They don't. Right? It's just, there's nothing wrong with ice skates.Brad Crowell 7:57  I think a better comparison there would be, they're not training in a walking shoe, they're training in a running shoe. Lesley Logan 8:05  Correct. You're correct. Okay, that's a better example.Brad Crowell 8:07  They are certainly not training on ice skates. Obviously, you're you're not going to try to do Pilates on a trampoline.Speaker 1 8:11  Fair, fair, fair, a better analogy. Kind of come up things on the spot, some, they can't all be brilliant, but you're correct. Like, the sprinters are not in, they're not even in regular running shoes but they're in track shoes with like.Brad Crowell 8:11  That's actually the best analogy. They're not training in running shoes, they're training in sprinting shoes.Speaker 1 8:27  We got that, we got we got there, we got there. So what I would say is I would find a studio that you can rent space at and abuse theirs, or I would find a used reformer that truly is more like what you're used to and accustomed to and make it a piece of furniture in your home. People are not expecting homes to look like hotels. They expect homes to look like things you live in, so get the one you like. That's my answer. If you want to get a discount on a Balanced Body or Contrology piece, you can check out opc.me/perks, we do have discount links on all of that stuff. Brad Crowell 8:58  Yeah. And if you're trying to find our YouTube channel, just go to opc.me/yt. All right. Well, thanks for asking that question. If you have questions that you'd like to ask, feel free to text us at 310-905-5534, or hit us up on Instagram. Just that. Mention us and fire away. Stick around. We'll be right back. Brad Crowell 9:17  All right. Now, let's talk about Jan Schroeder. Dr. Jan Schroeder is a professor at Long Beach State University and coordinator of their unique Bachelor of Science in fitness. So you can literally go to college for fitness. And that's. Lesley Logan 9:33  It's like, one of the only places you can do that. Brad Crowell 9:35  I think she said it is the only place. Lesley Logan 9:37  Yes, yes. Oh, shout out to Michelle Sims (inaudible), she connected me with Jan because she said is there anything you need? I'm like, yeah, I need two people. I need people on perimenopause, who do you know?Brad Crowell 9:46  Yeah, so Jan, Dr. Schroeder has a PhD in exercise physiology and she's passionate about educating women on the importance of personalized fitness strategies, overall well-being and self-care during and after menopause. She encourages women to prioritize their health, understand the changes in their bodies, and adapt exercise and lifestyle habits tailored to their physiological, social and psychological needs.Lesley Logan 10:12  Just, okay, was, I found it really enlightening. I felt like there was so much permission. I found like she had so much information. There's a lot of people who are out there now talk about perimenopause, and I'm loving how much advice and information out there. I thought I was like, oh my god, I'm going through it early. I got some help from Femgevity, and I'm not, but I actually do have some support, some bio identicals to just enjoy my life and keep a baseline. But she talked about, like, how we don't really need to, like, go, oh my god, I'm going through this. I can't go, there's so much support out there. But a lot of times the things that we are doing as we go through perimenopause and into menopause are actually giving us reverse results we want. So she specifically took a little lens of fitness. And when you are in perimenopause and post-winter and like, winter menopausal because your hormones change, she advocates that you have to have a holistic approach to combining exercise, nutrition and hormonal management to navigate menopause effectively. And she really gave us some tools on like just adjusting our behavior. So it's not like this negative thing, but actually it supports these changes, because these changes don't have to be a bad thing. There's positives to it as well.Brad Crowell 11:21  Yeah, that was one of the biggest things she was talking about. Is that we only ever seen to hear or talk or think about the negatives, and we very rarely think about the positives of it. Lesley Logan 11:35  I also just want to say, like, I love that what she talked about, like a 40-minute workouts or less, working out in the morning, doing different things that can actually support so that the workouts you're doing are supporting your health, your longevity, your cardiovascular system, your bones, if weight loss is something you're wanting to do, those are all really important things. And the world is set up with these hour-long classes, high-intensity classes, and we've got women over 40 doing these crazy metabolic workouts when really they need some strength. They need some move meditation. And so I was like, patting myself on the back. I'm like, OPC is 30-minute classes, just saying, and you can do when you want.Brad Crowell 12:15  Well, I thought something that was really interesting was she talked about this natural inclination that we have to we, meaning women who are going through menopause, that they have, as they hit menopause, they just stop moving. Lesley Logan 12:30  It's a real it was really interesting. The part of the brain that just goes, okay, I'm not gonna tell you to get up.Brad Crowell 12:35  Yeah, she said the stats are 40% less movement typically as a woman is hitting menopause, and I don't know if that's just built into how we are, or if it's like, oh, this societally adopted thing of like, oh, I hit this phase in my life and I'm gonna just stop now.Lesley Logan 12:52  It did. And she said it doesn't even sound like it was a conscious thing. It's likeBrad Crowell 12:55  (Inaudible) she said women tend to sit more. They're just sitting more. And she said, it's really important to start paying attention to those things using a fitness tracker or a journal, so that you can start to track yourself and be like, oh, wow. I used to get 10,000 steps, and now I'm getting 6000 steps. How did I end up doing that? Right? So we use an aura ring. Can't give you a link to it, really, it's not that easy to do that, but the Oura ring, it connects to your health app on your phone, and it tracks a whole lot of different things. But she said, be mindful. Jot those things down. She said it is actually reduced activity level is dictated by estrogen. So yeah, you're right. It doesn't seem like it's a conscious thing. She explained, the estrogen affects different tissues in the brain, especially the hypothalamus, which is responsible for how much food you eat, how hungry you feel, how much energy you are feeling like you can expend, want to expend. She said, when we take estrogen away through menopause, what the brain does is the hypothalamus cannot regulate these things anymore the way you used to. So it's important for you to consciously regulate them yourself. Be aware of that stuff. So yeah, I mean, I found that really intriguing. Stick around. We'll be right back. Brad Crowell 14:08  All right, welcome back. So finally, let's talk about those Be It Action Items. What bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted action items can we take away from your convo with Dr. Jan Schroeder? She advised against long duration cardio workouts during menopause. And y'all, we talked about this about a million times that the 80s were all about running and cardio, and that was how you're gonna lose weight and it has been busted and disproven. That is not reality a million times over. But what I found really interesting was she started to talk about cortisol, and when we hear cortisol, we immediately think negative things. We're like, oh, cortisol bad. And she said, No, actually, cortisol is also good, but we have to regulate how much of it that we have in our system. And as we age, more cortisol is just natural in our bodies. And then through menopause, it can kick it up a notch even more. And she started talking about things like, when are you doing your workout and how are you doing your workout, right? So when she started talking about working out earlier in the day, and then how you're doing your workout, cardio is gonna just add a lot of cortisol. And she said the problem with cortisol is it affects your sleep. You need it in the morning. It gets your brain going. It gets you going. But then in the end of the day, if you're jamming a lot of that, you know, if you're kicking off a lot of cortisol, you're going to have a difficult time sleeping. You're not going to process during sleep, because you're not going to be getting that sleep. And so basically, it becomes a problem if you're adding a lot to it at the end of your day. So she did recommend, this is where she was talking about 40 minutes or less and working out in the morning. And she recommends short bursts of high intensity of interval training to manage cortisol levels that's instead of long, long distance running kind of thing. So what about you? Lesley Logan 15:53  She said, You need to give yourself permission to back down. Oh, my god, are we sensing a theme of this podcast? So you need to give yourself permission to back down. She said, if you're a runner, that's gonna be too intense for you. So walk and put a weighted vest on. And I added a weighted vest to all of my walks. I'm gonna tell you guys, holy freaking molly, even if the walk is short, I'm no longer like, oh, my own we didn't do long enough walk today because it was too hot. Just adding that weighted vest intensified the walk. Brad Crowell 16:19  What did you get, 12 pounds? Lesley Logan 16:20  Not 12 pounds. Yeah.Brad Crowell 16:22  It's in the middle of the road one, right? Lesley Logan 16:23  Yeah, yeah. And I think now, hey, my in-laws, I would like a weighted vest where I can add weights or take them off. That's what I want for Christmas. Okay, but, like, maybe I have to look it up, because I'd like it to be a little sexier than what I've got. This is like the ugliest thing, but it's okay. It's fine. The looks don't matter. But it's those kinds of things, like, give yourself permission, that's going to be okay. We don't have to be at our highest level all the the time to be at our best self. And I thought that was really cool. You don't have to be your highest level all the time to be your best self. Brad Crowell 16:48  I think that is something that's been interesting for me, is being like, hey, today I generally don't feel like I can take on the world when I go to all my workout, right? And then being like, all right, it's all right, if I only do 80% of what I did last week on as far as weightlifting goes, or whatever. Lesley Logan 17:06  Yeah, and by the way, guys, it's called listening to your body. And also, like, if you keep going, wow, I keep feeling like I can't do it, then that's a sign you do that. Like other things are going on. You need to do some other things if you still have your cycle, ladies, I do use an app I have no affiliation to, called wild.ai that actually helps me figure out what kind of workouts I should be doing based on where I am in my cycle, which is really, really cool, because then what I do is I do more high intensity on the first two weeks-ish, and I do a little longer duration, lower intensity on the last two weeks. It has really helped me manage the cortisol as well. So I'm not doing cortisol when I have progesterone coming in, because that is a bad thing, and that's going to affect my sleep. It's going to affect my cycle. So.Brad Crowell 17:46  If all this is foreign language to you, we definitely encourage you to connect with Femgevity who has been helping Lesley really wrap her head around all this stuff and understand it for her body. Lesley Logan 17:56  You can go to beitpod.com/femgevity. Brad Crowell 17:59  Yeah. F-E-M Femgevity. Lesley Logan 18:01  Jan, you're brilliant. You gave us such an amazing look on fitness and perimenopause, and really great tips to just stay strong and stay with energy. And I'll also understand what's going on with our body and not see it as such a negative thing. Thank you so much, y'all. How are we going to use these tips in your life? We want to know, so make sure you can't tag Jan, because she's like, non-social, which I think, how cool is that?Brad Crowell 18:24  So cool. She's a professor. That's amazing. She also still teaches.Lesley Logan 18:27  She still teaches fitness, yeah, but tag the Be It Pod and then do me a favor, share this with a woman in your life. The thing that is so fascinating to me is that, how many women older than me did not have this information? And no, it wasn't out there. There wasn't a lot of research and we're doing more research now. But also, if we talk about this stuff, then it forces people, companies, other people, to find information for us. We get to demand what they talk about, by the way. So please share this with a friend so that we can change more women's lives and make going through perimenopause and endomenopause, and our years after that really thriving. It doesn't mean like it's bad. There's like, good stuff out there. So until next time, Be It Till You See It. Brad Crowell 18:32  Bye for now. Lesley Logan 18:43  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod. Brad Crowell 19:51  It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell. Lesley Logan 19:56  It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.Brad Crowell 20:01  Our theme music is by Ali at Apex, Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.Lesley Logan 20:08  Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals. Brad Crowell 20:11  Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally, to Meredith Root for keeping us all on point and on time. Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/be-it-till-you-see-it/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

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How can you address mental health challenges and improve your workplace environment? Join Lesley Logan and Brad Crowell as they explore Melissa Doman's expert strategies for navigating workplace dynamics with radical candor and effective communication. Learn why taking action is crucial and discover your options for creating a healthier work setting in today's recap episode.If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co. And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.In this episode you will learn about:How to address workplace bullies with direct communication strategies.The benefits of asking for help and using support networks effectively.Steps to translate awareness of mental health issues into concrete actions.How to use radical candor to enhance workplace communication.Implementing actionable steps to drive systemic change in your organization.Episode References/Links:Melissa Doman Episode 409Melissa Doman WebsiteYes, You Can Talk About Mental Health at Work by Melissa DomaneLevate Mentorship ProgramCambodia February 2025 RetreatOPC Website40 Days of 40 - OPC WebsiteProfitable Business Accelerator ProgramRadical Candor by Kims ScottKareen Walsh Episode 397  If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. DEALS! Check out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper's Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox Be in the know with all the workshops at OPCBe It Till You See It Podcast SurveyBe a part of Lesley's Pilates MentorshipFREE Ditching Busy Webinar  Resources:Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!Lesley Logan websiteBe It Till You See It PodcastOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley LoganOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTubeProfitable Pilates Follow Us on Social Media:InstagramFacebookLinkedIn  Episode Transcript:Lesley Logan 0:00  Learning, listening, understanding mental health at the workplace, and the things that you can do around radical candor is all really, really good stuff. But then you need to take a piece of that and break it down into an action that you can take because otherwise it's just a bunch of information. And if you put yourself into a place where it's like, I have to make this big dent, then that's probably also not going to happen because systemic change takes time. It just does. Lesley Logan 0:24  Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.  Lesley Logan 1:05  Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview recap where my co-host in life, Brad, and I are going to dig into the supportive convo I had with Melissa Doman in our last episode. If you haven't yet listened to that episode, you are missing out. You're missing out. You missed out on a very fun conversation. She's one of those guests I had to bring back because I've been watching her be it till she sees it and her business and life just growing before our eyes. And it's really fun to have those guests back. So if you haven't listened to episode from 103, 300 episodes ago, you should also listen to that one. But first, let's talk about today. Today is August 22nd 2024 and it's Never Bean Better Day. About this day. Never Bean B-E-A-N Better Day is on August 22nd, it gives us the perfect opportunity to enjoy and spread some bean Brad Crowell 1:54  Wuv.Lesley Logan 1:55  Wuv.Brad Crowell 1:56  W-U-V wuv. Lesley Logan 1:57  Wuv with our canine companions and others. Brad Crowell 2:00  Do you love me? Lesley Logan 2:02  Yeah. But what's the bean for? Brad Crowell 2:03  I don't know yet. Lesley Logan 2:04  By loving us unconditionally to being our listening ears and cuddle buddies, our furry friends have always upheld their reputable position as women's best friend, may I add, and are ever ready to be our lifelong companions registered therapy dogs like Bean, ohBrad Crowell 2:18  Bean is the example dog today. Lesley Logan 2:20  Okay, okay, share their wuv at hospitals, schools, reading programs, behavioral therapy, group sessions, domestic violence, homeless shelters, long-term care, Alzheimer's units and anyone else in need of an emotional facelift. Interesting choice of words. Yeah, so, I guess Bean.Brad Crowell 2:37  I'm pretty sure this should be never by own better day.Lesley Logan 2:41  I know. How's that? How does that work? Bean day. Brad Crowell 2:46  Bean is the name of the dog. So it's never by own better day.Lesley Logan 2:50  Yeah. What's never for? Brad Crowell 2:53  Never been better, Never been better. Never Bean better, is the plan of words. We're changing it to never by. Okay. Now I'm explaining the joke. Lesley Logan 3:02  Well, you know what guys, not every one of these days can make sense. So, you know.Brad Crowell 3:07  Well, it's about emotional support dogs and dogs that go in hospitals and stuff like that. We're big, big fans of canines in general, as you all know.Lesley Logan 3:16  Oh yeah, you know, you can get a dog that can tell if you need insulin, or can tell if you need a different vitamin, like you can train these dogs.Brad Crowell 3:24  Or if you're having a seizure. Lesley Logan 3:25  Yeah, you guys, there's so many of these dogs around now, and also, there's so many different organizations that could help if you don't have the funds to access one of these dogs on your own. Like, it's worth advocating for yourself and finding someone who's literally raising money to do this and give it to you. So you know, know that if you have a friend in need. Okay, so.Brad Crowell 3:42  You got a friend in me. Lesley Logan 3:44  In case you had it on your bingo card. Bean day, I don't think you get much out of this. Keep singing while I do the upcoming events and travel. Okay, you guys. So eLevate applications.Brad Crowell 3:57  Oh, actually, today, the 22nd, we're what? We're in L.A. We're heading to L.A. right now. We're driving. Lesley Logan 4:01  We're on our way to L.A. today. Brad Crowell 4:02  We're driving to L.A. Lesley Logan 4:03  Yes, we're going, I'm working with my mentors for the weekend. It's actually like my little Pilates vacation for me after the tour. So there was an opportunity to teach, and I said, thank you. I feel so seen and I would like to be a student because I all have, I've just been teaching, so I'm going to do that. So I may be with my mentor, but what's really fun is that I can tell you about my mentorship program. And my mentorship program is for teachers, and it is a really fun program going into our fifth round next year, and you can still apply. And also, Brad, like, loaded up, some awesome things you can get if you like, sign yourself up. So if you have questions about it, you'll actually get all those questions pretty much answered at lesleylogan.co/elevate. You can also take a fun class with us. You can hear from past eLevate members. And also you should know that when you do graduate, it's not over. I don't go see ya. Never want to see you again. Brad Crowell 4:57  Wouldn't want to be yah. Lesley Logan 4:58  You actually joined the alumni group and we do fun retreats together. So that's for you. That's eLevate, lesleylogan.co/elevate. Cambodia retreat. Holy freaking moly, it's August. That means we are so close to going to Cambodia for fall. But you can't come to that one because it's sold out. But you can come to the February one. Brad Crowell 5:16  Six months from now. Lesley Logan 5:16  Yes, six months. Brad Crowell 5:17  There's still six months. Actually, it's literally the 23rd to the 28th of Feb. So six months and a day, Lesley Logan 5:23  Six months and a day. Brad Crowell 5:24  From now, we're gonna be back in Cambodia. The time of recording this, there's still room to join us. So.Lesley Logan 5:29  And you know what? It's not too late, because really the best time to buy a flight is like three to four months before. So truly, this is the best time to sign up and snag your spot go to crowsnestretreats.com. That is crows with a S and nest with an S in the middle, and retreats with an S at the end. So. Brad Crowell 5:50  Thanks. Lesley Logan 5:51  Two words are plural. One's not. There you go. It's a dot com on that one. Try out OPC. You guys, do you know that OPC was made for you? I just did a really fun interview where someone was asking me about, how does OPC help people ditch perfection and also prioritize themselves first and have some self-care? And I was like, oh, because you're not supposed to be perfect when you do Pilates. You're supposed to just be in practice and we constantly remind you of that in every single class, while also providing tips and ways that you can get more depth and more out of an exercise, and then reminding you that if an exercise is not right for you yet, you get to do something that is and so even if you go to a studio already, did you know that you could also be an OPC member? That's right, you could go somewhere else and still do OPC with us on your other days.Brad Crowell 6:38  Wait a minute. Are you saying two things can happen at the same time?Lesley Logan 6:42  I am, I am, and so if you want to try us out, go to opc.me/40.Brad Crowell 6:49  Yeah and I have been kicking off another webinar here from Profitable Pilates, all about if you're feeling stuck with your money in your business, whether you're a super, super small business, or you have a brick and mortar with a full team. If you're feeling stuck with your money, come join me for a free upcoming webinar called the Accelerator program, studio business growth accelerator, go to P-R-F-I-T dot biz slash accelerator. Get yourself signed up. It's totally free, prfit.biz/accelerator. Lesley Logan 7:21  Profit without the O. Brad Crowell 7:22  That's right. Profit without the O. Thanks for saying that. Lesley Logan 7:24  Biz with an I-Z. there. Brad Crowell 7:26  (Inaudible).There, that's right, B-I-Zed. Lesley Logan 7:29  Yeah. And accelerator is how you spell it. But you know, sometimes you forget how many C's are in there. So just (inaudible) Brad Crowell 7:35  There's 27 C's in there. Lesley Logan 7:37  Shut up. Before we get into it with Melissa Doman, what's our audience question to answer this week?Brad Crowell 7:45  YouTube Pilates with L said Lesley, I am dead keen to do eLevate. I'm so interested in learning more about classical Pilates. I feel so amazing to finally feel like I'm getting it. How I wonder, did Joe work with injured clients, especially when supine or loaded flexion was contraindicated? There's a lot of big words.Lesley Logan 8:06  Yeah and I like the dead keen. I think that Brad Crowell 8:08  Dead keen. I'm dead keen.Lesley Logan 8:10  Why don't we say that in the States, I'm dead keen.Brad Crowell 8:12  Keen K-E-E-N.Lesley Logan 8:13  It would just turn and now the kids would just call it DK, I'm DK. Yeah. Okay. So here's the deal. I love how in eLevate, we actually get to explore how Joseph Pilates worked with contraindications inside the group, just based on the people who come becauseBrad Crowell 8:28  What is a contraindication? Lesley Logan 8:30  Oh, like, if you have a fusion in your back, then it is contraindicated to do flexion. Or, like, it's like, it's not, it's a no-no. That's what, you see, it's a no no. It's like, if you take a medication, there's other medications that we like contraindicated. So like, it's a no-no to do this with that. So for example, she is saying, like, supine or with loaded flexion. So let me just say, in eLevate. I don't go over like, contraindication by contraindication and (inaudible) because that would take years. And that's like, there are specialties.Brad Crowell 9:06  I have. 28 teeth. Are there any Pilates things that can't doLesley Logan 9:11  Okay. Nothing's contraindicated with that. You can do all the exercises. Lesley Logan 9:14  26?Lesley Logan 9:14  All of them, still can, still can. Brad Crowell 9:16  Three?Lesley Logan 9:17  Yeah, you might all three struggle with the towel exercise. I'm just gonna be honest, you might need more than three. Depends on where the three are. So, just so you know, in eLevate with all the teachers I do go over how Joseph Pilates thought about his work, that was that he that he shared, and how he taught it to people. And that will include going over things that are contraindicated based on what you ask and also the people in the group. And then what's cool is, when you graduate, we still talk about it. Someone just had someone come in who is actually paralyzed from the waist down. And so it's like, okay, what can I do with this person? Here's what I've done. Is there anything I'm missing? And so to answer your question, What did Joe do? Just like, real quickly, he avoided the things you're not supposed to. Just didn't do it. We don't have to fix people, you guys. And also, for those who are not teachers, like your Pilates instructor, should never tell you that they could fix you. And if they did, that's a red flag. What we are here to do is balance your imbalances, and when you balance your imbalances, what ends up happening is you have fewer aches and pains. Right now. As we record this, we're about to go to a chiropractor. My left hip is out of alignment. I can tell you that right now. And so I am feeling–because I fell–I'm feeling aches and pains in my body so when I move, there are just some limitations that I have. If I were to go see Joe, he's not gonna be like, oh, let me work on this left hip of yours. No, that's out of our scope. We're not PT, unless you are. So what he would instead do is work on the imbalances. And what is really cool is I did Pilates today with this out of the line with my hip, and I had way less pain throughout the day today than I did yesterday when I had my fall. Here's the deal. It's not that Pilates completely put it back together, but it balanced some imbalances that were causing that issue. And so that's our goal, and that's what Joseph Pilates would do. And eventually, over time, some of those aches, pains, injuries just go away. Sometimes you need extra help and other things, Pilates is not magic, but Joseph Pilates would not zero in on your little issue on your right pinky toe and, like, work it to death. He would work everything else. Brad Crowell 11:13  Do you believe it's magic? Lesley Logan 11:15  Yeah. And then also, you guys, I help you have the confidence to do that with your clients, I give you like the goal of eLevate is to help you see someone's imbalances, see someone's ache and pain, and actually trust the process and choose the right exercises for them. So that's what you do at eLevate. So if you're keen on that, you should sign up. Brad Crowell 11:33  If you're dead keen. Lesley Logan 11:34  If you're dead keen.Brad Crowell 11:35  That's right. Lesley Logan 11:35  And if and for the rest of you like seriously when it comes to Pilates, make sure your teacher is not like, micromanaging your right pinky toe. You've got other toes, so there's other parts of your body. You should be moving. We're about to do a YouTube video on this, and I'm like, there's no principles because you're just supposed to move. We have to be moving our bodies. If your Pilates class is not moving you enough, then you're in the wrong spot. So come to OPC. Okay, that was a bunch of shameless plugs. Lesley Logan 11:35  If you have questions, contact us. Let us know your question and we will happily work it into the pod. Pleasantly surprised, maybe you'll end up here. All right, stick around. We'll be right back.Lesley Logan 12:13  Okay, now let's talk about Melissa Doman. She's an organizational psychologist, former clinical mental health therapist and author of Yes, You Can Talk About Mental Health at Work, Here's Why (And How to Do It Really Well). Melissa specializes in teaching businesses leaders and individuals how to have realistic and constructive conversations about mental health, team dynamics and communication in the workplace. She's also known for her open and approachable leadership style, drawing from her experience with challenging managers. She said you have to address people who are negatively affecting your mental health at work or being a bully. And this is interesting because I was just talking to this about this with our agency members because they've had a, there's a couple people who've had clients who, like, won't, don't want to pay the late cancelation, and they're bullying them like, you're not a considerate person if you're charging me for this late cancelation policy, like (inaudible) late cancel. And I was like, no, no, they're a bully. They're actually the asshole. You're not the asshole. You told them the rules, they signed, they agreed to the rule, and now they're bullying you to not follow your own rules. And I said, you have to be comfortable. Brad Crowell 13:16  A.I.T.A. Lesley Logan 13:17  Yeah, they are the asshole. And (inaudible) says this all the time, I've repeated this before in the podcast, "We have to be comfortable making people as uncomfortable as they are making us." You have to get comfortable making the person uncomfortable, right? So you don't have to make this person uncomfortable at work, but you have to address this person is making my work experience negative, and it's affecting my mental health and my ability to do my job. And when we try to bottle it up and we keep it to ourselves, it doesn't get better. And by the way, your work is probably the one that's going to suffer, and then also you're going to get in trouble for suffered work and be like this person's been bullying me. That's too late now. It's too late to say that. You should have said that before. Brad Crowell 13:56  Yeah, she actually has a phrase. You'll have to go back and listen to her episode to actually get that phrase. She did, however, the high level overview of it was to pull them aside and say hey, I just need you to know how this is affecting me. You know how what you're doing and how you're doing is affecting me. She said this is really direct and pretty challenging, I acknowledge that. But sometimes it's necessary, it's needed, and it's going to help you stand up for yourself. You're going to feel better about yourself, the whole thing. Lesley Logan 14:32  Yeah, so we have a transcript so you can actually, like, copy paste and like, memorize that to have those conversations. But y'all, if you are working around someone who's affecting your mental health at work, you actually do have the right to say that this is happening. And if you're not feeling heard or supported by your superiors, then don't let people tell you that there's no good jobs out there. I have a client who constantly says how much she hates her job. And she's like, well, I'm not going to leave because the economy is bad. You guys, there are so many jobs out there and employers are doing everything they can to keep the employees they have. You need to know this. They're, like, really, like, they're, what other benefits can we throw at people so they stay in this job? So just trust that you are actually worth what you do. And there are people that need you out there, and there's awesome things you don't have to put up with it. We have a girlfriend who was absolutely being abused by her team at work, and when she finally said something, I'm gonna be out, she waited a long time, so when she finally said something, then they said oh well, she did this to me. And now and then, nothing got solved. Got this, like it sounds stupid, but you gotta say things when they first happen, because it doesn't get easier, it doesn't get better, right? And then by the time you feel like, oh my god, I'm at the end of my rope, I'm gonna say something. It's almost like there's nothing that they can actually do that's gonna make it better. You know, so, so stand up for yourself. Brad Crowell 15:53  Yeah and also, you know, some companies have an HR team, you can also talk to them. In this case, she's talking about directly with radical candor, approaching the person who's affecting you, and she said it also like her example in the episode wasn't necessarily about someone who's abusing you, but someone who says they're going to do something and is late, someone who doesn't actually finish the job, or is passing their work off onto you, or something like that.Lesley Logan 16:21  Yeah, all that is not fun for your mental health either. Brad Crowell 16:25  It is not. Lesley Logan 16:26  And by the way, Radical Candor is a book you should read it. It's really good.Brad Crowell 16:30  Yeah, okay, so I really enjoyed what she was talking about–asking for help. It's good to ask for help. She said, It doesn't matter how much of a badass you are trying to be. Everybody needs support, and this is a really difficult thing for small business owners–and myself included–definitely understand this, you know, the way that I was raised is it's a do it yourself world and you can do it all. And you should do it all because you have no money. Can't pay someone to do it for you anyway. So you should just figure it all out on your own. And so, I took that approach from childhood all the way into everything that I ever did from music into running companies. And the end of the day, it just eats more of your time and you don't ultimately have enough capacity to do all the things that need to happen and you end up being a bottleneck. So it doesn't matter how much of a badass you're trying to be. Everybody needs support. In her case, she said her husband very directly challenged her and said, "Okay, you no longer have the option to do all this stuff because it's now affecting me, and you have to have help. So we're going to find you an executive assistant who can support you." At first she was really reticent to pass things over, to relinquish control. But now she's like, how do I get this off my plate? Right? It's completely changed her approach to everything, because she's starting to see how well, maybe smoother, things can run for her company. It was one of the things that changed our business dramatically was when I realized that years in, I was still being the bottleneck, and then from there, when we shifted that, when I started to try to get out of these things that I had taken away from everybody else and was still doing, it actually allowed things to flow much more smoothly. It's a little bit counterintuitive at first, but it's also ego, you know, oh, I'm the only one that can do this part of it, whatever. Lesley Logan 18:24  I've mentioned this on the pod, and we have had four other episodes I've mentioned it, but like, if you watch the end of My Cousin Vinny, when he finds out that Marisa Tomei's character called in someone called him the judge from New York to, like, verify and validate the type of lawyer that he was, in, you know, his first case, and he got so mad at her. He's like, I wanted to win my case by myself. I wanted to win my first case by myself. And she's like, what if you won all of your cases, all of your cases, and at the end, you had to say, thank you. Oh my god, what a nightmare. And so that was just a really interesting thing that, like, whenever we're trying to do something ourselves, and you have you, like, actually ask for help, people are not gonna go, oh my god, LL asked for help. They're gonna remember, wow, it was so fun to be on LL's team to create this thing, I could be part of this creation. And then she said, thank you. Like, it's all it's like, these are amazing, amazing things. And so we have to just remember that asking for help is not actually about you. It's about sharing and it's actually about taking other people and saying hi, I see you as someone who can do this thing that I really want to do and I want to show my team. And it's actually really fucking cool. Anyways.Brad Crowell 19:43  Yeah, stick around. We're gonna cover those, Be It Action Items next. Brad Crowell 19:46  So let's talk about those Be It Action Items. What are the bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted action items that we could take away from your convo with Melissa Doman? All right, she said, "Hey, people take things the wrong way." Which is why it is so important to be super clear in your communication. We all interpret things based on our own experiences, usually, and so it's possible that someone said something to you, didn't know that they were touching a nerve, or vice versa, that you were maybe triggering something in them. She said before you're having a conversation with someone, usually about how they're affecting your mental health, she said it's important to self-reflect and ask what is it that I didn't like about this situation? She said that people can't read minds, obviously, so that's why clear communication is so necessary. Explain what's going on for you in this scenario, state what you want the others to do or not do with the information. Hey, now that I'm telling you this information, what would be really helpful for me is x, or it would really change things if you did x, right? Then highlight why you're bringing it up to them, deciding the most important things to tell them, so they don't get lost in the detail. So just go high level, right? They don't need a 10-year backstory. You could probably just say this is really affecting me because of some past history that I had, and just leave it at that, and then go on to explain what it is that they're doing and then how it's affecting you and what you would like them to do instead. And she said just avoid over complicating the conversation. She was sharing a story about her challenging the head of HR. She was brought in for a consulting job, and it was a short term gig. She's, I don't know, maybe she was with this company for a few months, or whatever, and everyone was treating her like an outsider in a really negative way. And she was working for the HR team, and she ended up finally challenging the head of HR and saying hey, do you see what you're doing here? This is super uncool, and I don't like it, and it's not fair to me, and I know I'm not part of the team the way that you guys are, but I'm still here to do a job, and this is what's coming across. So she said that's really hard to do. She's willing to be challenging that way, because she's taught herself how to do it over time, you know,. so.Lesley Logan 22:04  I love how she laid this out, because you could be either party in this scenario, but truly, like we had, I had someone come up to me and tell me something, but would give me zero specifics, none. So not even high level, just like, just generics about how we made her feel. And I said, okay, can you give me an example? I don't want to get into it. Okay, well, how would you like me to solve this problem? I don't know. And it's like, so here's the thing, there are assholes out there, but most people are not assholes, and they don't want you to feel bad at work. They don't want to be negatively impacting you. So I love this example because she actually says, how, what to say, explain what's going on for you, and state what you want others to do or not do. And then that way they can actually go, okay, let me think, how do we make this work? Here's how we can do this. I appreciate, like I, people are not mind readers, nor can they also, if the thing that they were doing with no negative intention cause negative impact, you then want them to create another thing that could maybe, like, it's important to kind of know, and that requires all of us to have a little bit more self-awareness and to go inward. Because, again, there are dicks out there, but not everyone is walking around wanting to trigger people or wanting to activate something in people. Most people want you to be the best version of yourself that's out there. Brad Crowell 23:20  Yeah. Well, what about you?Lesley Logan 23:21  So she said, when it comes to mental health at work, awareness is great, action is better. Brad Crowell 23:26  Awareness is great action is better. Lesley Logan 23:28  And you know what? We actually talked about that with Kareen's thing. She's like, manifestation is great, but you gotta take action on it. So hello, action. It's in our intro of the episode. So she talked about like, it's one thing to have the intention to do it, but it's another thing to create the impact and so and she also stressed that, like, you might not be living a big dent, but any dent is helpful. So what does this all mean? It means learning, listening, understanding, mental health, the workplace and the things that you can do–radical candor is all really, really good stuff–but then you need to take a piece of that and break it down into an action that you can take, because otherwise it's just a bunch of information. And if you put yourself into a place where it's like I have to make this big dent, then that's probably also not gonna happen, because systemic change takes time, just does. So if you have a business, or you're working at a company, and there's been something that's going on for a really long time, like just because they're made aware doesn't mean that you just made a thing that happens. So we've got to really do what we can to make the dents we need to, because over time, a dent can get bigger and bigger and bigger if we just keep working at it. So I really like that, because it's one thing for you to listen to this and be inspired by it, but you also, you know, taking action is always gonna be better. Brad Crowell 24:38  Action brings clarity. Lesley Logan 24:39  And it's the antidote to fear. You guys, I'm Lesley Logan. Brad Crowell 24:42  And I'm Brad Crowell. Lesley Logan 24:43  Thank you so much for listening to this episode today. You want action you can take after becoming aware? You can share this episode with your friend. Brad Crowell 24:50  We're gonna ask you what action to take right now? Lesley Logan 24:52  Right now (inaudible) guess if you wonder we're not gonna tell you exactly what would make this better. What would make this relationship better between you and me? Would be, if you share this with a friend. Brad Crowell 25:01  That's right. Lesley Logan 25:01  Share this. You could text it to them. You could, like, grab their phone and look for it for them, there's so many different ways you can listen to this episode. It could be on the OPC app. It could be on Apple, Spotify, you name it. Brad Crowell 25:11  You could text it to them every single day. Lesley Logan 25:13  You could, you could do that. You want to know what I get text every single day from campaigns so they clearly have no shame. You shouldn't either. All right, loves, until next time. Be It Till You See It. Brad Crowell 25:26  Bye for now. Lesley Logan 25:28  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod. Brad Crowell 26:10  It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell. Lesley Logan 26:15  It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co. Brad Crowell 26:20  Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi. Lesley Logan 26:27  Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals. Brad Crowell 26:30  Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/be-it-till-you-see-it/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

What do you do when your to-do list isn't fully checked off? Discover practical strategies to shift your mindset and boost motivation when tasks pile up. Plus, learn about Lesley Logan's morning routines that helped her maintain a sense of home while on tour. Tune in to this FYF episode for actionable insights on productivity, self-care, and personal growth!If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co. And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.In this episode you will learn about:Celebrating the 400th episode and the impact of listener support.Why you should have a "Be It" action to start the day.How to shift perspective and boost motivation when tasks pile up.Insights into maintaining routines and self-care during travel.The importance of community support and sharing personal wins.Episode References/Links:OPC Summer TourFemGevityRed Light from HigherDOSEEp. 382 with Kel CalEp. 390 FYF with Lesley LoganEp. 400 with Gay Hendricks  If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. DEALS! Check out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper's Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox Be in the know with all the workshops at OPCBe It Till You See It Podcast SurveyBe a part of Lesley's Pilates MentorshipFREE Ditching Busy Webinar  Resources:Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!Lesley Logan websiteBe It Till You See It PodcastOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley LoganOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTubeProfitable Pilates Follow Us on Social Media:InstagramFacebookLinkedIn  Episode Transcript:Lesley Logan 0:00  It's Fuck Yeah Friday.  Fuck yeah. Get ready for some wins. Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started. Hey, Be It babe. Happy Friday. Happy FYF. Happy fuck yeah, we made it. We are here we did it. And you know what's so funny is like, I write a bunch wins down and then I do these things. And sometimes I have an (inaudible). So one of the things I want to celebrate real quick at the top of this is we already hit our three year anniversary and our 400th episode, so we should just like whoo, whoo. And that's because of you. That's just because of you. We have so many reviews because of you. It's just like so freaking incredible and we have an amazing guest because of you guys. So just keep the listening coming because you need to know that every time you download the episode it really does make a difference. Every time. So please, please, please keep doing it. If you're like ah, I'm not good at anything. I'm not doing anything in this world trust me if you listen to this episode, you listen to all three episodes in a week, you are doing amazing things because what you're doing is allowing us to get bigger amazing guests for you and other listeners. Because those downloads matter. So, thank you. So if you're new here, hi, welcome. We do some of your wins that you send in, we do some of mine, and then we do a mantra. And shout out to Helen who sent in her be it song that she uses in her morning she (inaudible) which one she wants to use. I'm gonna let her keep that for herself. But if you listened to the Kel Cal interview and you have a be it song that you were listening to so a song you play in the morning that like makes you like, it's like your be it till you see it song, I want to hear, send it to me I want to hear it. Really, really is amazing. Lately, I've been playing Lovely Day. Mike Copeland. It's like lovely day, lovely day, lovely. I'm not gonna sing it for you, because I'm not as good as them. But it's great. That's mine, so you can borrow mine. Helen, I'm not sharing yours.Alright, so let's get into it. Let's get into your wins. This is from Kimberly Craig. It was an early FYF. Today, I was disappointed with how much I didn't do then I realized I was telling myself whys. I talked, caught up on some emails, wrote, edited, and scheduled two newsletters and two blog posts. That's a huge for me and something to celebrate. I'm a week ahead. Then I took apart my car for a supposedly short replacement of my carbon filter, I thought maybe 15 minutes, which turned into two hours of blood, sweat, and almost tears. Turns out there's no cabin filter, carbon filter, clearly I don't drive car. (Inaudible) model. The only model that doesn't have one. But I did discover a mouse house in my AC condenser and might have fixed my air conditioning instead. So now I'm going to make dinner and take my kid to volleyball where I will be talking up my summer session to some of the other moms. I'm doing more than I gave myself credit for it. Just because my to do list is still long doesn't mean that the stuff I take off doesn't count. Boom, Kim Craig, thank you for sharing this as a Be It win that we could share with all the listeners today because holy freaking moly, can we just like take a minute for like how much you got done. First of all, that's a lot. That's like, that's something, that sounds like more than I did today. So I am just so freaking proud of you for noticing that. And oftentimes, you guys, we make a to do list that is too freaking long. It's impossible to get it all done. It just isn't. Like I look at my schedule with my assistant and we review things and then I wake up and go yeah, this can't happen today. Today. Today, I'm gonna honor my cycle. And we're not doing that today. And that is a win, right? So like, it's okay, if you didn't get stuff done, because beating yourself up to get it done is also not going to be, you're not gonna be fine and be present. Can I also just shout out that like, you're a week ahead. And you also took apart your own car. Like, I am so impressed by that. If any of you are people who like do household tasks that are like fixing things, that's a win. So in case you're certainly like I haven't I don't have any wins today. If you, like my husband will go up and fix the air conditioning system and I'm just like, fuck yeah, what a win. Fuck yeah it's Friday. Like way to go babe. Because these are just things I'm like, not my strength. Not my bag, may call someone. And so I just want to say like if you're someone who does have talent and these things and you're doing them you take it for granted that it's a win you actually see this like this is just part of life. This is what I got to do. But you did that. You did it. So thank you for celebrating that. Thank you for reminding people that you don't have to finish the whole To Do List to have done everything. So, way to go. We had Djamila's win a couple weeks ago which is like a Ta Da List, so I'm in. Way to go Kim. Thank you, thank you, thank you. And I just want to repeat what you said at the end, I'm doing more than I give myself credit for, just because my to do list is still long doesn't mean the stuff I take off doesn't count. Boom, boom, that's freaking amazing. Amazing. Okay, so keep this I'll go into my win. So we are almost done with the tour. And I was actually able to bring a lot of my morning routine stuff with me, which is, uh, not always, like, usually it's like, I got to a morning movement, I got to shower. You know, I get to having a latte. But like, I don't really have a better way to do a routine, or at least I didn't prior to this tour, but I had spent so many weeks at home really trying to hone in like what is my new morning routines, less actually able to take some of them with me. So hello, dry brush, my HigherDOSE dry brush, I was dry brushing myself in my bed before I got out. I'm like what a great way to start the day. I was also able to still take with me some of the things that FemGevity provides me, so that I could take care of myself and have my hormones be the balance that I want them to be. There was, also I was able to take my Red Light from HigherDOSE with me, if that just like makes me feel like I'm like doing some self care. It's a win to me that in the chaos of a tour. And even as organized as our team is and as planned out as a tour is, there's just always like, a little bit of obstacles, everything takes a little bit longer. You forgot a timezone change whatever, that I could still start every day with some things that make me feel like I'm at home. And that is my win. Your mantra for the weekend is I uplift, my joy and the joy of others. Yeah, you do you listen to this podcast, we're both doing it. I uplift my joy and the joy of others. Say one more time with me. I uplift my joy and the joy of others. All right. I'm just so grateful for having you as a listener, I'm also really, I want you to know that even I'm not someone who like needs accountability all the time. But I definitely go through bursts and spouts of like, you know, woe with me. And so having you having to have a win to share with you guys really helped me look ahead and plan ahead, because I am like, oh, I can tell them about this. Or I can tell him about this. Oh, I can help them with this. So I just I'm really grateful for you. Thank you so much for listening to the Be It Pod. How are you going to use these wins as inspiration in your life to see a win that you have? I want to know, I want you to send your win in. You can put it in the reviews. You can send them in on Instagram. You can send them to me somehow get them here because the Be It Pod wants to shout those out. And you can also call us and leave a message with your Be It win, so please do and until next time. Thank you so much. Be It Till You See It.That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod. Brad Crowell 8:30  It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell. Lesley Logan 8:35  It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co. Brad Crowell 8:39  Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi. Lesley Logan 8:46  Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals. Brad Crowell 8:49  Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/be-it-till-you-see-it/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Lesley Logan interviews Matt Gerlach about overcoming generational trauma and perfectionism. Discover how setting boundaries and self-compassion transformed his life. Gain practical insights on setting goals, managing anxiety, and embracing vulnerability. Listen now for an inspiring conversation that will help you on your own healing journey!If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co. And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.In this episode you will learn about:How Matt overcame panic attacks and depression.Understand the quick payoff from setting boundaries.Matt's transformation through healing childhood trauma.The benefits of couples therapy in growing together.How Matt shifted from anxiety to self-love and acceptance.Overcome perfectionism and how to embrace imperfection.Episode References/Links:Matt Gerlach on InstagramMatt Gerlach Website6-Step Guide to Creating Your Dream Life with Matt GerlachMatt Gerlach's PodcastYou're a Badass by Jen SinceroBarrels Deck FlashcardsGuest Bio:Matt is more than just an entrepreneur and author—he's a conqueror of challenges, a beacon of personal transformation. With unwavering belief in the inherent wisdom within each of us, he guides his clients to unearth their inner strength and conquer the barriers blocking their path to success. Matt's scaled his consulting business to generate an impressive $1M in annual revenue, and he works one-on-one with men who grapple with self-doubt, illuminating the truth that there's nothing inherently flawed within them and empowers them to embrace their true selves, enabling them to pursue their passions and aspirations with confidence and purpose.  If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. DEALS! Check out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper's Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox Be in the know with all the workshops at OPCBe It Till You See It Podcast SurveyBe a part of Lesley's Pilates MentorshipFREE Ditching Busy Webinar  Resources:Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!Lesley Logan websiteBe It Till You See It PodcastOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley LoganOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTubeProfitable Pilates Follow Us on Social Media:InstagramFacebookLinkedIn  Episode Transcript:Matt Gerlach 0:00  There's never a destination where we're perfect. You're opening up about it as you're talking, you're getting feedback along the way. And you're also at the same time, learning to love yourself. The more compassion you are giving to yourself, the more you let others give you compassion. And like right now I would say that the biggest thing that I've done is I've learned to love myself and accept myself and that nothing's wrong with me.Lesley Logan 0:27  Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started. Lesley Logan 1:09  All right, Be It babe. This is a great one. I mean, they're all great. But this one is a dear friend. Got to know him so much more on today's pod. But I had the pleasure of meeting him in person, you'll hear that story in a moment. This is vulnerable. My perfectionists, ooh, this one's for you. And also just if you feel like you are just trying to keep it all together. There's a lot to work on. And Matt has a beautiful story. And he is doing great work on this planet. And he's a great example of like, being able to do work on yourself and then give that and take that and to help others. And so I love the work that he's doing on this planet love how he's helping people. And so I can't wait for you to hear how he can help you. Here's Matt Gerlach. Lesley Logan 1:49  All right, Be It babe. I'm super excited. Today, we have another guest where I got to meet this person in real life. And we were in this room of 70. I think it was like 70 people. And to be completely honest, I couldn't hear half the people's what they're saying. Because there's just it's a lot if you have two minutes, like to introduce yourself. But this person stood up and their story totally stood out. And so when they reached out to me on the pod, I was like, yeah, because I do remember you and I remember your story. So Matt Gerlach, can you tell everyone who you are and what you rock at?Matt Gerlach 2:19  Sure. Thanks for having me. And thank you for that nice warm introduction. I really appreciate it. Um, yeah, so I would love to share my story. About eight years ago, I had just started a business. I was living in New York in Manhattan with my partner, we've been together for now 12 years, and I started having panic attacks. My blood pressure was diagnosed as high, I was going to the doctor trying to figure out what was going on and I found all of these health problems. And I, at the time, was convinced that something was wrong with my health and I continued to figure out what was going on. I went to the hospital a couple of times, thinking I was dying from this, it sounds crazy to say right now but like back then I didn't know mental health was a real thing. I would fundamentally did not know that. I thought that your emotions were no reason to, like I just didn't think that anything emotional could debilitate a person like they were me. And I found out that what I was going through was anxiety and depression. And it sent me on a healing journey where I went back and reprocessed my childhood, my life. I was 30, 32 years old at the time and I don't think I knew anything about myself. I had just been hiding from myself hiding dissatisfactions and just being grateful for what I had and I went back and I completely healed. I mean, I.Lesley Logan 3:48  I thought you were gonna say I was completely realizing I shouldn't have been grateful for all of that. I was, it was actually really tough.Matt Gerlach 3:55  You know? Well, you know what I said the other day that really like just I was surprised this came out, I said, "Being grateful and desiring more are not mutually exclusive." I think it's really important (inaudible). Thanks. I think it's important that we are grateful you know, I mean, it's a big part of my life. I wake up every morning, before I get into bed I think what I'm grateful for but I can also want to feel better. Yeah, so I went back through a whole healing journey I unearth what my childhood was like for me. There was a lot of trauma that happened and went back and went through it and I'm a whole different person now. I'm careful when I say this because I don't want to say that like anxiety goes away forever, per se. But I do not feel anxious or depressed at all. And I do feel a part of that because I'll be able to handle what comes my way. Lesley Logan 4:46  You know, I want to like highlight I think a lot of people listening I feel like you're on the, you're on the younger end of like a millennial, so but I do think that like the millennial, Gen X, you know, and even older, of course, you should be happy for what you have. And you should just move on and you're having, everyone has a bad day, f* up, keep going. And like you, we were trained to ignore how we felt. And that can go only so far. And that you can make it to 32. Doing that is quite an achievement. Because I think a lot of people, they don't and so, and so, and also, I would say, I probably would guess, so many people would see your life on the outside and go, it would be so easy and you have it so great and like how are you having an anxiety attack? You've done so much. So can you tell us a little about like the life you were living? Were you, as an entrepreneur, were you, was your company doing really great or was the anxiety because the company wasn't doing great? What was kind of going on?Matt Gerlach 5:48  Yeah, and you just said that. That's exactly the kind of people that I worked with now, it's people whose life look great on the outside, and they feel horrible on the inside. And that was exactly what it was. Honestly, I was thinner, because I wasn't I mean, I was like the thinnest I'd ever been, like, I wasn't eating properly. And my skin looked good. I guess I was drinking a lot of water still. But yeah, I mean, I looked fine on the outside and at the time, so I've always been successful in life, I've moved to New York. And I, you know, it's true. If you can make it there, you can make it anywhere. I kind of amazed myself by navigating myself up the career ladder, and I wound up in baby product sales. I know. It's sort of like cool industry, but it just like, random that I fell into this. And I was just laid off of a job. And I thought, I still think I was okay about that kind of because I did always say well, I made good money. And like that wasn't a financial huge blow. And I knew it was happening. So I started taking on clients before this, but I started a consulting business. And what happened was, like, I wasn't used to saying no to things. I wasn't used to, like I didn't know how to set boundaries. And that was the big reason that the anxiety and depression started. Like, I started feeling this way it was because I was just being pulled in a million different directions. I was afraid to ask for what I was worth. I mean, I was working with these, these small, medium-sized baby product brands, literally changing their lives by treating these businesses as if they were my own, like on planes literally, like sometimes two, three times a week. And I just could not say no. And I was feeling agitated. I mean, beyond agitated, I was angry about some of the things that I was asked to do, some of the mistakes that were happening that were just like left for me to figure out. And at the time, I mean, I look back to what I was charging, like I wouldn't touch anything for like what I (inaudible). But also like, there's no resentment either, like this was me. And like I had to learn to set boundaries. And that was really, I mean, if I wouldn't have started this business, I believe that like big life changes, big opportunity, like big growth steps, having a child you know, things like this to kind of force you to, to grow, if I wouldn't have had this, I might have just skated just north of rock bottom my whole life. And that's really where I was at. I was smoking cigarettes all the time. I was drinking all the time. And I mean, not like drinking during the day. But like, my life was, I mean, sometimes it was I lived in New York, we went to lunch, but like, yeah, like I wasn't living a very healthy life.Lesley Logan 8:27  I want to highlight like, first of all, when we don't have boundaries in place, we eventually will resent people, but it's actually not their fault, it's our fault because we did not have boundaries in the first place. So I think like, it's not that it's okay to like resent things. It's like using resentment as a highlighting tool of like, here's, here's where I've been failing myself, you know. And also, I also want to highlight, you said, like, if I didn't have these things, I would have just skated by above rock bottom. And like, so many of us have been at rock bottom for so long that it feels normal. And just because it's normal, doesn't mean it's okay. And so you, so you talked about, like, you know, going back and like, being introspective and like learning about yourself, what was that like, and you did this while having a partner and I think a lot of our listeners can relate to like, you know, having to do some self-work, but also having someone there. So you're going through and changing things about yourself, but then you also have a partner there, like, how did that go?Matt Gerlach 9:25  I think that I mean, thank you for acknowledging that. And, you know, we've been together for 12 years, like, this is my longest relationship. I mean, we're, we're, we're hopefully going to be together forever. That's the plan. And, yeah, I mean, I don't know that everyone's capable of that. Like, I think that there's some relationships, whether they be romantic or just friendships where if one person is growing and the other is not like, I don't see how those work out, and I think that like that is a big source of anxiety. There were changes that I had to make in my life. I think anxiety at its most simplest form, it's like your inside is telling you something, and your outside environment is not what you need. I think that's a very simplified version of it. And I think there are definitely degrees of this. And I want to be very clear that I do not think it's very possible to get through this without some sort of help. So I'm not oversimplifying this whatsoever, but yeah, I was very fortunate. My partner was willing to grow with me. We went to couples therapy. That was a big part of our relationship and I don't exactly know how people go without it. We haven't been in a while and I don't think we won't go back one day, but it's really set us up for massive success. She said to us when we were graduating from going out so frequently, and we still went for check-ins here and there, but she said, the two of you have changed your dance. And it's one of the nicest compliments I've ever had because we have, you know what I mean? But um, you know, during this time, I mean, I would say, I'm a very vulnerable person, I've always been very vulnerable. And as I was understanding that I had emotions and feelings, I was able to share those with the close people around me. So I was letting him into what was going on the best I could. I grew up, my grandmother was a really lovely person to me, but she was a martyr, she was a very big martyr. So I always kind of had that example of like, I saw how that affected my family, you know, having someone like that. So I'd like to think that I tried and succeeded pretty well at not blaming him and not dumping things on him. And I took accountability for, you know, the feelings that I had. And the vulnerability. I mean.Lesley Logan 11:40  Yeah, I think that's so key. And I love that you shared twice you said like you, even though we can simplify what anxiety is, and it's sometimes easy to understand, that doesn't mean you don't need help to get it. I think it's really important to getting outside help because when you're in your life can be really hard. And I think it's so cool that your partner wanted to also go through therapy with you, because that way you guys can evolve together. That is and also like a shout-out to that therapist, because so many therapists you don't ever graduate and like you should. So I think that's really cool doesn't mean you don't go back, but you should like there should be a place. It's like if you went to college, and they never let you get out, that would be wrong. Like you have to graduate at some point. Right? You might go back to school, but, so tell me, you know, that was it. That's a journey. And we can we can keep diving back into that. But what did that lead you to doing? Because you were like smoking cigarettes every day and like doing this high, high stress consulting work, like, what did that change? How did that change the trajectory of what you're doing now?Matt Gerlach 12:43  I mean, it's a very slow change. I mean, like, you know, I mean, I, I love the way you asked that question too, because like, it's making me think about this, like, it is a process like, you know, and I would say that, like, it's not a linear at all, but I would say at its most simplest form is you are opening up, you're trying to open up, you're getting help opening up, you're learning that your feelings are okay to have, you're getting validation for them, you're asking questions about them, you're, it's hard, but you're being more vulnerable, you're telling, you know, you're admitting things about your life, like using the cigarette example that I don't want to be doing. And at the same time, you're learning how to be kind with yourself, like, I am not perfect. And one of the big parts, like I can really like, use this as an example. I've been writing a book for the past three and a half years through this whole healing journey. And it's been so helpful for me. And it took me like, two years of working with the coach weekly, to really get to a point where I felt good enough to share this with the world to understand that like, there's never a destination where we're perfect. You're opening up about that, as you're talking, you're getting the feedback along the way. And you're also at the same time learning to love yourself, the more compassion you are giving to yourself, the more you let others give you compassion. And like right now, I would say that the biggest thing that I've done is I've learned to love myself and accept myself and that nothing's wrong with me. And it's just a process and it takes time. But I think this is true. I think it's like, there is a pretty quick payoff to setting boundaries. There is a pretty quick payoff to making these changes, you know, using the cigarettes, you don't smoke cigarettes for a week, you're breathing better, you know, you go to the gym, you feel you know, you're feeling better. You set a boundary, you don't have negative energy in your life. And I think we kind of overestimate like, this isn't like you're putting in hard work for a year before you start feeling better.Lesley Logan 14:50  Right. Like it's not like when you write the book, you don't celebrate until it's published and it's a bestseller. Like there's little payoffs and you just basically summed up, like, this is why we have FYFs guys, the episode where I share your wins because you can go well I quit cigarettes a week ago, and I'm already breathing better. Like, you don't have to say like you don't have to wait to quit cigarettes a year to celebrate that you can actually start to notice payoffs. And I think how cool of you to kind of acknowledge the different payoffs you're having along the way from the changes you were making. But I also feel like in those two and a half years that you've so far three and a half years, you've been writing your book, I feel like this is a be it till you see it moment that you're in right now. Like, you're, like, to do everything here and become an author and is your book something we all can read? What are we, what are we like, what's the future book about?Matt Gerlach 15:37  Oh, my gosh, writing a book is, it's, um, it is a journey. But like, I'm not complaining about it. For me, it's probably been like the biggest healing. It's the biggest part of my healing journey, because it's been really introspecting. I have been writing down my life story as I remembered it. I had a writing coach, that was a little almost, I don't say more of a therapist, but a therapist along the way, too, like helping me understand this story and what had happened and so it's, it's kind of like, I spent like two years of this, like, kind of purging information, making sense of this, like taking what I'm understanding from writing to my therapist, to coaches and talking about it, even with friends. Hey, like, I remember this about my childhood. Did that happen to you? No, no, no that didn't happen. Like that's, that's next level, like, you know, you deserve some compassion for that. So it was a process. And so now, I have like, 2000 pages written, which is way, way, way too, way too much. But it's kind of like, what is the exact story that I wanted to tell. So I'm at the final, like, the stages of like, really putting it together. And yeah, I mean, this is supposed to help people who are just like me, who looked fine on the outside and underneath, there was, there was trauma, there were things that needed to be surfaced. And by doing so, the freedom that has come from this, I mean, my business like, I'm not saying this to brag, but I went off to make, my business turned into a million-dollar-a-year paycheck for me. And that wasn't from like somebody handing it to me, it was for me learning how to set boundaries, advocate for my worth, and really being able to come to the table and negotiate like, what I am worth relative to what I'm bringing value to the business for. So I couldn't have done that if I was still scared of my own shadow, which I was.Lesley Logan 17:30  That is a cool story of like, what can happen when you're so clear on your worth. And we can't get clear on our worth just because we like do a mantra, I am worthy every day. Like, you can say that and you can hear it. But the brain doesn't like dissonance. And if you had trauma in your life that made you feel unworthy your whole life, and especially when you're, the brain is forming, you know, like that. You can be told you're worthy, and you won't believe it until you deal with that trauma. Matt Gerlach 18:00  The thing is, I mean, most people benefit from you having low self-worth, like the people that write your paycheck, generally benefit from you having lower self-worth, the person that is above I mean, pretty much everyone at work. I mean, shit rolls downhill, like, the person with the lowest self-worth is the one who is getting, like who's working the most and getting paid the last. You know, and this is true in relationships too. Like I'm not, I don't, if you're in an abusive relationship or with somebody who's a narcissist or something, they are benefiting from you having low self-worth, and not holding them accountable for being kind to you. And it just sucks it's a rotten race and, you know, I'm gay and like growing up like with the adversity I grew up with, like anyone who's in the marginalized category is at a huge deficit in the self-worth department. I mean, it's, it's really something that needs to be nurtured. Lesley Logan 18:52  It's quite a problem in our society. Yeah, it, yes, it's an understatement. It can be disheartening when you're, when you're someone on the other side who wants to love though everyone who is marginalized and you can see that there, everyone in their life can even love them. But if one person doesn't it can also just ruin all of it. So Matt, you, 200 pages, I don't even know how you'll edit that down, but I'm excited for you and I can't, you have to let us know when the book is out. What are you excited about right now? I mean, aside from the book, like what is your mission? What are you being it till you see in this moment?Matt Gerlach 19:30  So I am working with one-on-one clients now and helping them overcome what I've overcome. It's really, I'm being called to work in a more purpose-driven line of work working with men in particular, who, who they look fine on the outside, but they know on the inside something is missing. They're not feeling fulfilled. They're high. They're generally a high-performing person. They've, they're responsible people and something's holding them back. I believe we all have some sort of traumatic situation in our past and a reason that I say that is because there's a doctor named Dr. Gabor Maté, who talks a lot about this. There's little T trauma, there's big T trauma. I think a lot of us don't argue the fact that big T trauma, things like violent crime are traumatizing. But multi-trauma would be your, you know, you grew up and your uncle said to put your food down, because you shouldn't be eating anymore. And you made a meaning about that. And that stayed with you your whole life. You know, I mean, there's, there's something stuck that's making us feel unfulfilled, and I'm helping my clients work through that. And it's been really exciting. And I'm leaving the baby product industry, slowly, but I'm building my client business and looking to build a community around this.Lesley Logan 20:47  Oh, thank you for being so sharing of that, because I do think a lot of people will hear someone like your story, and they'll go oh, and he just switched and he just got out of that. And now he's doing this. It's like, no, you have sometimes you have, you have a side hustle that's going to be your future dream. And it's okay to allow it to take form and shape. And be that until it's time for it to take over and for you to leave the baby product thing. I think that's also hilarious. You do look like a Gerber Baby. I'm just gonna say, if y'all are not watching this on YouTube, you should he's so cute. So, but also, yes, Dr. Gabor Maté, we'll have to talk about there's a friend I want you to know after about this on the show, but little T trauma and big T and I think a lot of times people who haven't had big T trauma, discount the little T trauma that and they just feel it wasn't that bad for me. And you know, as you said that, like, there's my husband and I were listening to this self-help guy. And I was sent in places on funk. And I was like, yeah know, I don't even know what like the little less it looks like. And Brad goes, oh, I do. And I was like, tell me more. You didn't know me. Right? And he was like, he told a story that I had told him at some point when I was when I was 11 years old. And he's like, that is not normal. And I was like, that's not normal? And he's like, not normal. Not normal at all. Very much not normal. And no wonder you have like hyper-vigilance. And I was like, oh, I just thought like, sweat you had to do like, you know, and you're like you don't, so sometimes we don't even give ourselves the actual permission to just go that thing that happened to me wasn't awesome. And y'all can't put it in a room and close the door. Like, like, I love how people like to say they can compartmentalize really well, the closet will explode. Like it's going to come out. You know, so what do you have? Do you have any, like suggestions or tips for people who may not be able to like reconcile, like, to understand that it's okay for them to acknowledge they have little T trauma and that they don't have to just go well, my life's fine on the outside. So I should just be happy. Matt Gerlach 22:57  Yeah, I mean, like, I wish there was some just like magic bullet for this. But like, what's helped me more than anything. It's like learning from other people's stories. I became a huge reader while I was going through this, this healing journey. But I mean, it's podcast, too. Like, there's movies, I mean, even like, entertaining movies, like, you start to like, see, see these people like and hear other people's stories and like, learn how they're telling about their lives and how things have affected them. And you, it's really helped me along the way, like, open up to things in my life that weren't that bad. And realize that they had held me back so dramatically. And it's funny, you mentioned your story. Like I just started back at therapy recently, I've taken a break, I graduated for a while, and I wanted to go back. And I was telling him, you know about some parts of my childhood. And he was like, that sounds horrible, Matt. And it was interesting. Like, I mean, I, I'm still stewing on this right now, you know, because it's just like, it's hard to hear that. But then it's like, I mean, he's not the first person that said that to me, either. You know, like you said, and I think that like, the more that we're open to learning, it's an open to learning, I say, by reading other people's stories, but when you start becoming open to like, hearing that feedback, it's there for you, you know, I never was willing to talk about this stuff. And then like you said, it's like when you tell a friend a partner, hey, like, you know, I'm just making this up. You know, this didn't happen to me, but I'm just using it. Like, you know, my dad used to throw things across the living room every night. Like, when you tell somebody that and they're open to the feedback, you're gonna learn that that isn't normal. Lesley Logan 24:36  Yeah. Yeah. I mean, and it's interesting like it feels you can feel so seen when someone says that and so it's, you know, it's a what a great comeback rather than I'm so sorry, because I really hate saying I'm so sorry that happened to you because I am sorry, but then what a lot of people say they say it's okay. And it's not okay like we have we been trained that when someone says I'm sorry, you say it's okay. And that's actually not true. Someone can be sorry. And it still can be not okay. But also like to say like that, that sounds that is horrible. That sounds really horrible. It's acknowledging, like, that did suck, like, that sucks, you know, somebody told me something the other day in a coaching call, I'm like, girl that sucks. So you are allowed to sit here and you're allowed to be upset right now, because that actually sucks. And we're so used to, oh, I just need to pick myself up, dust myself off, and move on and not, and not experience it. But the other thing is, and I actually thank you for sharing that your back in therapy. Just because you did therapy on it once before doesn't mean that like new level, get a new devil and a new perspective on oh, I actually that part that thing I hadn't actually dealt with all the way. You know, it happens or like we, we get back into old habits of doing things and so you know, something's just come back I just really want another look, another attention, another, another possibility at it. When you work with people, I know you mentioned men, what is your favorite thing to work with them on? Is there an age you'd like to work with? Like, what are people that your desire, like you desire to support look like?Matt Gerlach 26:12  Yeah. So the men that I work with are generally in the, in between 35 and 50 years old, somewhere in that point, but I mean, I hate to even pigeonhole someone by age, because you could be 70 years old and waking up and really want to get some help with this. And I think the mission, I wanted to share this earlier, the mission is really important to me. And you said this earlier, and I wanted to comment, but it's that this trauma, like left unhealed isn't going anywhere. Well, I mean, it is going somewhere, it's being passed on to your loved ones. And I think that we're in a time right now where the word generational trauma is becoming a lot more prevalent, where we are all starting to see what happens when this trauma is left on healed. And my mission is to help it stop from being passed on. And I'm the person in my family who has broken the cycle, and is really put in this amount of significant work through healing and breaking the cycle. And it's, I mean, it's, it's absolutely changed just, I see it myself, the way I react to things that happen, like I don't really get, I mean, sure, like I not always smiling, but like, I don't get to that level of anger. And like I don't play the victim. I mean, like you just learn to roll with things. And I'm excited to be a parent for that, like, probably for that reason. Because I know that I've put in this work, and I'm going to be able to be a good one.Lesley Logan 27:36  Oh my gosh, people like you and your husband should, or your partner, excuse me, should absolutely be parents, like the people who've done work should be parents.Matt Gerlach 27:46  But yeah, I mean, so really, like when I'm working with my clients, it's really like, I wish that like there was a bigger secret here. But a lot of it's around goal setting. But when you're traumatized, it takes work to get my clients to a place where they learn to articulate their goals and be able to give themselves permission for them. But everything is figureoutable as we know. And we do a lot of work to get the goals out to understand like what those limiting beliefs are. And we put a plan together and like when we're putting the plan together, it's there's time to negotiate, you know, like, you want to make a million dollars a year, but you know, you know that it's gonna take this amount of sacrifice, okay, let's do something less difficult, you know, but it's really being able to take control over your life and realize that you have agency in building the life that you want and making changes but like this, there's there's three fundamental principles that I really reinforced with my clients. And that is perfectionism, let go of it. And it's so hard. It's one of the hardest things that I've had to learn to let go of. Lesley Logan 28:50  Oh, my God, I want, let's not forget the other two. But I just want to like my listeners, right now. Did you hear that? Because we are, I always say I am a recovering perfectionist. I've never, I don't think I'll ever be recovered. Because I feel like that's very perfectionist to think that you could be recovered. But I, my perfectionism last year, it snuck in, in the form of certainty, which some I was like, if I was listening to someone, they had no idea, but they're like, yes, certainty is just perfection in disguise. And I was like, oh, I see. It just snuck on in there. It came in at a different in a different hat. But like so perfectionism is so hard. We are right, we have to let go because it's holding us all back. And maybe, you know, more research to me, but I feel like there's a lot of perfectionists in the world because of how they were raised. If I just do these things, right, if I just don't make too much noise, if I just get perfect grades, then everything will be fine at home. And that just so you know, it wouldn't have been like that is not that's actually not the grades you got and like you being too loud as it's all those things, none of that would have changed anything saying, you know, so but it's so hard because you're raised, so even subconscious, like, if I just do it like this, if I'm just this perfect little person, then it will it won't, this bad stuff will stop happening. Anyways, you have two more things. I just had to highlight that because I have so many listeners who just struggle with this.Matt Gerlach 30:15  I mean, I appreciate you stopping on this and I'm going to take a tiny step further on this perfectionism has honestly been the hardest thing in my life to overcome. And it was because I couldn't see it. Like, I literally remember growing up and my mom and my dad telling me you're so hard on yourself. And then my friends like up until I mean, probably the past two years. I'm 40. So literally the first 38 years of my life, I could not like get a handle on this because I didn't know any different. Like you mean that if you slip up in a podcast interview, you just berate yourself all night for that, like. Lesley Logan 30:49  Don't worry. Matt Gerlach 30:51  I mean, literally, like that's the level of like, of harshness, I was to myself, it was horrible. And I mean, I've saved well, I've done well in my life financially, but like, my biggest regret would be that I wish I enjoyed life a little bit more. On that same hand, you mean you just don't save 90% of like, what you have to spare. I mean, you like, this is all this perfectionism and like you said, it's like when you're a child, you try to control what you control. I mean, and again, I I'm not an expert in this, but it's like why people cut, you know, like, they want to control that pain. And it's a big, big, big topic.Lesley Logan 31:25  Yes, we there are so many more experts we could have on this actually, some of you listeners just came to my mind when you, Matt, when you said like, you'll just berate yourself all night long. So many people are like so hard on themselves—I should be further by now, I should have done this by now—that is all just like that is all distraction. And that harshness is keeping you from being able to goal-set because you can't goal-set if you can't set realistic goals that you can, not realistic that you like, they're so easy you can achieve them tomorrow, but like, they should stretch you and also you're allowed to want to be able to do them and then you're allowed to reach for them and not put like, I'm going to do this in five years. It's like, well, you can but also like, why put something on yourself that you're going to miss and then you just berate yourself anyways, you know, like we've got there's got to be a balance. Anyways, you have two more things. Matt Gerlach 32:12  Yeah. So the second one would be forgiveness, this is of yourself and others. And it's honestly still (inaudible).Lesley Logan 32:18  Raise your hand, everyone who's listening if you're a perfectionist, and can forgive yourself. Matt Gerlach 32:26  I mean, it really is tied to the perfectionism thing. And I think like, I mean, I think forgiving of others, for me has always been significantly easier than forgiving myself. But I mean, I will tell you like, I mean, I'm not perfect in life. I mean, I just turned 40 a year ago, and like when I'm not eating as well as what I mean, like I'm doing this to myself. My partner's starting a cookie business right now I'm eating cookies literally every single day. And just to be clear, just like two or three, I mean, (inaudible), but like, like, I'm able to be kind to myself about this, you know, I mean, and I thought that I couldn't, I didn't think I deserve airtime until I learned to forgive myself and learn that I wasn't perfect. I feel better when I take care of myself. And I'm just not doing it always perfectly. And I log this when I look back to like, how much better I take care of myself than a year ago. Oh, my god it is so much better but it's not perfect.Lesley Logan 33:19  Yeah, but I love that forgiving yourself. It's so we have to, we have to because that's when we can learn from it. You're not going to learn from it in who you want to be and how you want to change things if you don't. Yeah. Number three, what's the third thing? Matt Gerlach 33:36  Faith and hope, trust that things work out the way that they're supposed to on some levels. You know, I mean, you just like it's funny, because at the beginning of this year, I happen to pick up the book You're a Badass. Lesley Logan 33:50  Oh, yeah. Jen Sincero. Yeah.Matt Gerlach 33:52  Yeah. And I just like I actually had it in my closet for like, five years, I never read it, I picked it up and I just, things happen at the right time, your very example, things happen how they're supposed to. And this book just like really, like set me up like for the year in a great way. But it said something like just so eloquent about like, faith and hope and a higher power. Like you have to have it. You're only going to get so far in life without it. Yeah. And I have seen this, like, I'm a living testament of this the past like four months. I just like I'm accomplishing things that I've never thought I'd be able to. I do the best I could do and learn that I can't control the outcome. And when things happen, they happen. I mean, and it's allowing me to have a lot more creative freedom and to move forward with things knowing that I, like my partner and I live in L.A., we have a nice house, you know, things financially don't work out quite the way. I mean, we might not be able to live here always like and I just hope that it's gonna work out and faith that if it doesn't, then we have to move somewhere smaller that we're supposed to move somewhere smaller, and it's just like, really.Lesley Logan 34:56  Believing that you can like yeah, no, do you know that I heard something like faith and fear are the exact same thing. If you are living in fear, you are actually living in faith. It's just a faith of, its faith that you wouldn't want to actually admit. Like, if you fear something, you actually are believing that that thing could happen, which is the same thing as having faith in something that could happen that you want to happen. And so yeah, so if you're someone who has fear in your life, you are actually a good faith person who's gonna turn the flashlight around.Matt Gerlach 35:25  Exactly. It's all energy going somewhere. So if you're, if you're spending energy, in your mind thinking about something, then it will be something positive. Lesley Logan 35:36  Yeah. Oh, my gosh, Matt, we could talk forever. We're gonna take a brief break. Find out how people can find you, follow you, or work with you. Lesley Logan 35:42  So Matt, where can people go to work with you get to know you more, get on your waitlist for your future book, like what do you have for us?Matt Gerlach 35:50  Awesome. Yeah, I would love for you to check out my website, mattgerlach.com, the link will be in the show notes. But you can schedule a free 30-minute phone call, learn if my one-on-one mentorship would be a fit for you. No pressure, I am very interested in just talking to anybody who thinks that I might be able to help them get out of their place of feeling stuck and into a place of more fulfillment and alignment. Schedule a free 30-minute call. Like I said, I'm very active on Instagram. My handle is iammattgerlach and that'll be in the show notes as well. But we'd love to hear from you and more to come on the book. It's, this has been one of the things I mean, and I think it's taught me like, it's been like, just like a, like such a good lesson in patience. You can't control much around a book, you know, especially your first one. So I'm just am cool as a cucumber about it hoping like a 2025 release but it's a process.Lesley Logan 36:42  I bet you it will happen. I bet you between, between your work you've done with yourself on perfectionism and your drive to help people. You know, it'll happen. Yeah.Matt Gerlach 36:53  Well, you know what it is? I mean, it's like, and this is interesting. Like, I mean, I wasn't an artist, like I would have literally like, told you like, I don't have an artistic creative bone in my body, like five years ago. And so to now be here doing this and like to show that you can learn this, like, I mean, I, I'm an artist, now look at me, you know. So there's, but there's been a learning curve, you know, I mean, you it's been, it's been quite an interesting place to be like tackling so many things that I just was not good at and had to learn how to get good at it. But it's possible. Lesley Logan 37:23  Oh my god, I love your vulnerability. I love your honesty. Like, it's so refreshing and also needed. I know that people listening are in the same boat. Like, why isn't I haven't done this thing yet. I haven't made this thing happen. Or I'm you know, and it's like, patience. And also like, wow, look what you've done in that amount of time. You know, like, it's, yeah. And also, just so you all know any overnight success you think it's not they're not overnight, it's like 15 years of work. And then you finally stumble upon them like, wow, this person is like they've made it.Matt Gerlach 37:58  (Inaudible) interesting like, lately, like, I've like realize this like and I've seen this and this has been part of the healing and part of what I help my clients with. It's like I ask myself now do you really want to be at that destination is like what's at that destination? And I don't really want to be at the destination. I want to be able to pay my bills and stuff while I'm on the journey, you know? This destination is, this is the destination right now. It's putting in the work and living life. Sorry, you're off there but I wanted to give you credit.Lesley Logan 38:26  No, I think that's really beautiful. And you've had several people who listen or write a book and they're like, I thought it would just like, take off. And it's like, no, no, you actually get to just keep working on it. But now it's printed. And now like, we have flashcards, you guys, and like we, I'm like okay, I guess I wrote all the, I wrote all the copy, it's done. And we're like doing the photo shoot. And during the photo shoot, I created two more cards. So it's not done, I get to go do it. And then once it's printed, it's, it's, that's done. But now I have to just because I built it doesn't mean someone's Googling for that product, I have to actually talk about it. So it is really important to like be very clear about what is the destination and like so what's the most important thing right now the important thing right now is the work you're doing to create it and then when it is created you the next important thing will be what you're doing so I just love your patience. I just got a lesson in it. So thank you so much. Really quick before I let you go, you've given us so much but, Be It Action Items—bold, executable, intrinsic targeted steps to be it till you see it. What do you have for us? Matt Gerlach 39:31  Wow, I think the best way I can answer this question is that you could keep going. You need to stay on the journey and celebrate the small wins along the way. This perfectionism thing is a real thing. And once you can even make the smallest little dent in that, you will see so much freedom happen to keep going. I mean, I feel like I have only penetrated 10% of this perfectionism wall and I'm already seeing how much freedom it's allowed me to continue pursuing my dream, pursuing my life to go down road A. And maybe that's not the right one and go back and restart. And you just learn, like you said, this patience, but celebrating these small wins and just getting that perfectionism out of the way is just a key to accomplishing greatness.Lesley Logan 40:29  Okay, a follow-up question really quick. So you've gotten 10% of the way, what is the first 1% step?Matt Gerlach 40:40  Getting help, I mean, I think it's getting some help. I think it's talking to somebody you know, and it could be a really good friend, it could be your mom, if she's helpful, your dad if he's helpful, your partner, but I think you need to be talking to someone about what's going on, I just and it might take time. I mean, it might take you six months before you can even get a real solid emotion out to latch onto and start digging into but.Lesley Logan 41:04  Yeah, I actually love that so much. Because if you actually would share a perfectionist thing that you're doing, you would hear it out loud and the person next who's like, it's amazing the way it is. Share it with the right person, don't share it with the person who made you a perfectionist.Matt Gerlach 41:21  Yeah I'm gonna use this example. It's like, you know, like, I'm just gonna making this up. But it's funny. It's like the mom who's like, doing everything right. And she's like, I can't go to bed at night because I'm making like homemade cupcakes for my daughter's school and her daughter's like nine months old. Like, you get to know the like, like, you can't do it all and like, I think when you start getting feedback, like what it like some things have got to go sometimes on this to do list. But your nine-month-old daughter will never remember these cupcakes.Lesley Logan 41:52  I know. It's so true. It's so true. Every first person, like people, like my friends have a baby's got a one year birthday party and I'm like, can I bring a box? Because I don't think they're gonna remember what I bought them like, do they? Do they need a gift? You live in an apartment in L.A.? Like, what? How little can we like make this a big deal? Because they don't remember it.Matt Gerlach 42:15  I mean, it's feedback, you know, it's getting feedback. And I can tell you like, I don't think there was a single person on my healing journey that I opened up to that I felt safe opening up to that said anything negative to me. Anything that wasn't helpful. That's most people are good people that are going to, but again, so you know, select wisely.Lesley Logan 42:36  Yeah, yeah, but you're right. You're right. Most people are and also when you if you do that, and you hear someone shoot you down, that is just a sign that oh, that is that is someone who needs to be cut out. And that's okay for right now while you go find other people. It might be helpful to know that but I think we know that already. Before we even go do that. So I think you're right, select wisely. Matt, you're so amazing. And what you're doing is so cool. And I love that you shared your be it journey with us and what you're doing and your vulnerability I think it's gonna help so many people. So y'all, how are you going to use these tips in your life? Make sure you tag Matt Gerlach, tag the Be It pod. Share this with a friend who needs to hear this, especially the person whose life looks amazing on the outside. They probably have a lot on the inside that they need to work on. So give this a share to them and until next time, Be It Till You See It. Lesley Logan 43:29  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod. Brad Crowell 44:11  It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell. Lesley Logan 44:16  It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co. Brad Crowell 44:21  Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.Lesley Logan 44:28  Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals. Brad Crowell 44:31  Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/be-it-till-you-see-it/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

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Kareen Walsh and Lesley Logan explore the journey of manifesting dreams through integrity, action, and self-awareness, sharing their experiences in launching successful businesses and navigating entrepreneurial challenges. They discuss the importance of validating new ideas through feedback and highlight the ongoing pursuit of authentic success. With insights on overcoming fears, aligning goals, and most importantly, taking action, this episode offers valuable lessons and inspiration to fuel your own dreams.If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co. And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.In this episode you will learn about:The importance of having clear goals and visions.How fear of failure or feedback from others can hold you back.Why inner work is crucial for aligning with your true desires.How leveraging technology can help in creating a legacy. The significance of focusing on feedback from relevant sources.The necessity of taking action to turn visualization into reality.How to step into integrity to become who you're meant to be.Episode References/Links:Kareen Walsh WebsiteHalf Day Immersive Strategy SessionsMonthly Live Retrospective Call to Get into Aligned ActionKareen Welsh Slp Program to Get Clarity and Jump Into Action Against Their GoalsKareen Walsh InstagramKareen Walsh LinkedInGuest Bio:Kareen Zahr Walsh is a visionary business and people strategist, author, podcaster , investor, and a 7-figure business building entrepreneur making her the ultimate Business Healer. With nearly 2 decades of experience optimizing performance in the health & wellness, eCommerce, technology, and finance industries, running top performing teams in complex environments, Kareen has a proven track record of helping C-Suite executives turn their vision of impact into action often resulting in 10Xing their investment. Kareen is on a mission to help you integrate your inner business with your vision for external impact so you can get out of your own way and stand in alignment.  If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. DEALS! Check out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper's Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox Be in the know with all the workshops at OPCBe It Till You See It Podcast SurveyBe a part of Lesley's Pilates MentorshipFREE Ditching Busy Webinar  Resources:Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!Lesley Logan websiteBe It Till You See It PodcastOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley LoganOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTubeProfitable Pilates Follow Us on Social Media:InstagramFacebookLinkedIn  Episode Transcript:Kareen Walsh 0:00  It was a very transformative few years because I refused to deny myself the truth of what was really going on with me and what I really wanted. And so once I stood in my truth and I was like, Okay, this is what I want then I had to stand in integrity in my action. So the be it till you see it energy is how you act in it until it actually happens.Lesley Logan 0:28  Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.  Lesley Logan 1:10  All right, Be It babe. So here's the deal. I got my besties back on the pod this woman is Kareen Walsh. You maybe remember her from the first year we had the podcast. She has the best quote of your hustles should never become a hassle. And if your hustle is become a hassle, then you should probably call Kareen. But she and I talked a little bit about manifestation. We talked about procrastination. I love that we got to talk about how her life has evolved since the last time she was on. And I think it's so, so, so important. I like to have some of our guests come back again because their life has changed and they have shifted and it's important for you to know that in the Be It Till You See It process, it is not like you ever make it, you know, like, "Nailed it." It's always evolving. We're always evolving. And so Kareen and her life and what she shares with you in today's episode is a really great example of that. So I'm so, so excited for you to hear that in today's episode. Here's Kareen. Lesley Logan 2:05  All right, Be It babe. I'm so excited. We have a special interview for you. Clearly, you can see we're in a special, special place. But we have Kareen Walsh here. You've been on the pod before, but just in case anyone hasn't listened to the episode yet, or doesn't know you, somehow, can you tell them who you are and what you rock at?Kareen Walsh 2:21  Sure. And first before we even jump into that, your community is amazing. Like, literally, your listeners, every time, even when I did that initial episode, I mean the amount of people that just reached out and like want to learn more. So thank you for having me on again. I love our conversations.Lesley Logan 2:37  Oh my god. So here we go on it (inaudible). Everyone quotes my hustle's become a hassle. But like, 'cause you said, go listen to that first episode guys because she says it's okay to have a hustle just can't become a hassle, I was like, it's no longer for you. So anyways, okay (inaudible).Kareen Walsh 2:57  Basically, my purpose is, I believe, is to be a conduit to help others manifest and materialize their dreams, whether it's in life or business. I happen to be a top business strategist, coach, investor, I have my own seven-figure business I've been running for over 10 years. And I just want people to accelerate their growth by leveraging my lessons learned. And so with that, I run my consulting company called revampologist, I have my coaching practice under my name. And then now I'm about to launch a whole new platform on-demand coaching called Hey, Kareen, which I'm super excited about.Lesley Logan 3:34  I know because also I remember it was not this January, but the last January, we were doing our first annual tradition of hanging out and you're like, hey, I'm doing this thing I'm gonna call it Hey, Kareen. I was like, so, and now here we are and Hey, Kareen is like, is a thing. So first of all, I just want to if we can, we go, we go forward to go backwards. A lot of people have ideas, and then it can take some time. And so sometimes they go, maybe it's not supposed to happen, or, you know, now looking back, this is almost two years in the making of just this one thing. How, how did you like navigate a two-year long-ish journey and did that feel longer than you wanted? How did you kind of figure that out? Because I do think so many people go, I have this idea. And then it's not happened. So I should be further along by now.Kareen Walsh 4:22  Yeah. So many things in that question. You know, whenever we have these big visions, right, these big goals or this aspiration, right, it's always this idea that comes to us. And then we're like, well, how do we, how do we manifest it? How do we make it happen? How does it come to life, right, and there's so many different tracks you can take. But if you're not clear on the destination, then it's really hard to carve out a plan. And what I realized for me, so I've had several different businesses over the years. Some have failed, some have been successful, like I am a idea machine. And then when I have an idea, I want to figure it out like I am just very solution-oriented and, and also very strategic. But I realized that my pattern for achievement, and making sure that actually comes to fruition was that I had to be clear on a part of it, not all of it, but I was like, well, let me go try this first. And then I would jump into action. And I think a lot of people get stuck in the fear of what if I fail, or what if it doesn't come into what it should be, or they sit in the feedback of others who have never done it before, and then they're convincing themselves of something that isn't true to their journey. So the differentiator with me is that just by taking that first step towards it, you know a little bit more about what's possible. And it doesn't have to be all the things, I also give myself permission to change my mind. So you just mentioned that this is a, this has been like a two-year concept, right? I didn't take action until this year, because I allowed myself to fully bake the idea and really sit with it. Because in the past, Lesley, I was, I had a lot of half-baked ideas out there. People literally would be like, oh, this is really cool. Let me go build this program. And I would build the program, never market it. Because I like the building part. But I didn't care about the selling part, right? Like I (inaudible) or I would be like, oh, you know, I want to go write this book. And I finished my first book in 2017. I was like, done with the journey and then the actual putting it out into the world. I was like, meh, so there's been very different learning curves for me on the full picture that I had to realize I had to visualize the full picture. I had to, I had to start to think about, okay, if I do this thing and then I, how am I putting it out into the world? And like, what's the purpose of putting it out into the world? And what's the attention I want from it and to follow through completely on the vision? You know what I mean?Lesley Logan 6:58  I do know what you mean. I do think I have some several half-baked ideas out there. Kareen Walsh 7:02  Right? So many because we're an idea machine. Lesley Logan 7:04  Right. And we and we do take action. Yeah. Now I want to ask you, from what you just said is how do we know that we're baking an idea versus like, procrastinating tweaking? Like, I'm gonna tweak a little bit more. I'm just like, I'm still noodling. How do we know we're like, it's still that the baking is the action of that idea versus a procrastination? Kareen Walsh 7:26  Yeah, sure. So procrastination, I believe, shows up in something you don't really want. If you really want it, you will take action towards it. In my opinion, right? Like, if you are someone who really wants to bring this thing into your life, you will sit in procrastination for a period of time sometimes just to test yourself, do I really want it? But most of the time, if you don't. And then it's like, o h, it didn't happen. I keep procrastinating. If you even call yourself a procrastinator. There are people who have to have pressure to act like they need a deadline. They need to know someone's waiting for it. They need to feel like that, like, something's gonna be lost if they don't do it. Like there's a, there's a true procrastinator energy like that that exists, which is really about I need tension to show up. And generally that tension is coming from someone else.Lesley Logan 8:22  Yeah, they're creating stress to (inaudible).Kareen Walsh 8:24  To follow through. But generally, it's because they don't really want to do that thing. When you are coming from an innate place of like, I want this thing to come out into the world, you will literally do anything possible to at least try. Like, you really will, if you're, if you're truly aligned in that way. It's hard to get to that point I think if you don't do that inner work that we talk about all the time, where it's like, I'm just being true to myself, like that's a great idea. But do I really want to? Lesley Logan 8:52  I think you're right, sort of the people in my group, I did a whole webinar on procrastination, so I had to do some research like okay, well, what is procrastination? Kareen Walsh 8:58  Yeah, what did you find out? Lesley Logan 8:59  So one of the things I found out is like, if you are a procrastinator, it also could be that you haven't figured out what you are procrastinating on is aligned with the goal that you have. So you haven't really attached your why to it and if you, so that makes sense what (inaudible) of course you don't want to do something that's not part of the thing that you're doing. And so truly baking an idea is actually like going through like what do I want from this, why am I doing this, how does it align with all these other things and I think there's a difference between putting it on the ideas board and never and just going I'm gonna do that someday, I'm gonna do that someday, versus Kareen Walsh 9:32  Act on it. Lesley Logan 9:32  Putting in time each week or even more each morning like really thinking about what this idea is and who it's for. And I think even thinking or meditating or journaling it can be action. Kareen Walsh 9:43  Connecting to it though, right? So the reason everything that I have learned from in the doing that I realized I wanted to take more time to bake my vision now is that I no longer have the time to waste. And, and I really wanted to make sure that when I do put effort when I do put investment when I, when I actually bring people together for it when I, you know, like the whole effort behind it, time is of such value to me right now, because there's so much that I'm doing but I wanted to make sure that when I launched this, I had the right strategy, it sat well within me like I felt connected with it to follow through. And now it is crazy to actually receive the test version of this platform and be like, hh my god, it's even more than I dreamt of because. Lesley Logan 10:34  I didn't see it yet. Kareen Walsh 10:35  So it's even more, it's even more and I'm super excited. Lesley Logan 10:38  So, um, is it okay we let the cat out of the bag? Kareen Walsh 10:41  Yeah, let the people know. Lesley Logan 10:42  So Kareen has created an app and it's called Hey, Kareen. Kareen Walsh 10:46  It's like the AI, it's called Hey, Kareen because, you know how it goes, Hey, Siri, or Hey, Alexa and you start making commands. This is your on-demand business coaching platform. Lesley Logan 10:55  With your amazing advice.Kareen Walsh 10:56  With my strategies, methodologies, everything in the bag. Lesley Logan 10:59  And I actually haven't seen it because even though we use the same app developer, I was, and I was at his his house he's like, do you want to see it? I'm like, of course, I wan to see, and even though I introduced you to him, he's like, oh, wait a minute, we have a rule. (Inaudible) Kareen Walsh 11:10  I'm gonna show it to you, guys. I'm gonna show it to you, guys. Lesley Logan 11:16  (Inaudible) And I think it's also the, to go back to your ideas, I actually think our ideas, once they are in reality are always bigger and better than what we could have ever dreamed of because you can only kind of put together what you've seen or what has existed, it's really hard, you know, had a coach say he's like, unique ideas are amazing. But if you can't tell someone you want to invest in it, or somebody who want to buy it, that it's like this and this together people can't conceptualize it either. And they're not gonna help you. So like, when I talk about going on tour, they're like, go on tour, I'm like, yes, it's like how a band goes on tour but I just teach classes like, you have to like, because that helps peopleKareen Walsh 11:55  Conceptualize what you're doing.Lesley Logan 11:57  But then, in reality, everything ends up being a little bit better. And I think that the perfectionist slash procrastinators out there who are just noodling around, one of the things I feel like they're holding themselves back from is their experience of something being bigger than they could even imagine, you know? Kareen Walsh 12:14  Yeah, and one, I think you, because you used two different types of people in that statement, the perfectionist, has hesitation on putting anything out there until it feels absolute. An absolute is really hard in the human world. That's really hard. I, you know what I mean, like we are meant to be a little messy. And that's what other messy people will be attracted to. It's not about perfection, and that creates its own stress and strain that causes hesitation to put your real self out into the world. So I always say do it messy because it just gets you started. And then this journey even to get this concept together. Last year, what I did launch that didn't go anywhere, which was a learning curve, you know, like a lesson learned was originally when I launched Hey, Kareen, it was meant to be a group coaching program where people would have access to me to just ask questions on the fly, as they were in their business, right. So it was a much higher price point. And the accessibility was there. But the desire to utilize that wasn't as high as I thought it might be. Right? And then I tested it out with a group. And it was it went well in the sense of the support they got, but the consistency wasn't there. Plus, it was burning me out. Because imagine just getting nonstop questions from entrepreneurs, because everyone's going through and then you're just repeating yourself a lot of the times, even though I was repeating it in a recorded message to the group that they can all listen to, it still was not being captured the right way. So it had to wait until now when the technology available to us is just phenomenal that I can actually leverage everything and have the system do it for me, where it just, it's just so freeing. Like I feel like oh my gosh, it actually is creating legacy for me and then it's also creating accessibility without me wasting away trying to make it happen. I'm letting the engine to do its thing. So it's, like you said, like, I never had that picture when I first thought about the vision because I didn't know about the tech and then finding out like this is my vision I ideally would like this kind of impact leveraging technology to do it even better and faste? Oh. Lesley Logan 14:26  Well, I think that's why like, a lot of people don't want to share their ideas with people. One, there's a fear like someone's gonna take it or there's a fear that it like maybe it's not gonna be good enough or it's not ready yet and I'll share it but I have found and maybe you can attest to this and or not, but like when I share an idea with someone, they actually opened my eyes to all these possibilities that I didn't know about, for you, the tech, kind of somewhere in the last year like blew up (inaudible) accessible thing but like, to your point you said you didn't know it was, the tech was there, like Kareen Walsh 14:59  Didn't know how to do this.Lesley Logan 15:00  Yeah, if you don't share your ideas, you, your, your ideas can only go as far as you know. Kareen Walsh 15:05  Exactly. It is, it's in the limitations of what you have. Right. So you, that's the box, but then like, open the doors to other people and now you have the world to access like it's just, and the expertise of others, you always need to bring in and kind of bounce the ideas off of and say, hey, this is what I'm thinking, what do you think? What, would you use it? Is there, do you find it valuable? Like I'm constantly validating any new offer, even, even any of your listeners who are putting together like, some new offer or a new class or a different platform, etc. Always test it out first on a group, get that feedback, make it better. And then again, and again and again, it's called continuous development. That's what in tech happens. It's also what we do personally, you know, it's how we evolve. It's like, constantly trying to get the feedback, move on. Lesley Logan 15:56  Brad knows about something. And I didn't mean to burst his bubble, but he's like, I want to do this thing. And I'm like, I don't think we should do it right now. And he was, I definitely saw it, like, I hit a bubble. And I was like, well, personally, what we haven't done well, is we haven't done some of these feedback things that we could do from specific groups of people to really understand why they're using what they're using of ours. We do a great job. Like we've had amazing success. I want to go to another level. And another level isn't always inventing another idea. It's actually understanding why people like the current idea, in their own words. And it's, but that requires like, asking people. And we don't always want to ask because I don't know, maybe we're afraid what people are gonna say (inaudible) bothering people.  Kareen Walsh 16:39  Or it shuts down your vision. It's so precious, your vision of what you want, like, it's just such a precious, beautiful thing, because it's all yours. And then as soon as you're like, hey, come look at my baby. And is my baby ugly? You don't want to believe that. You're kind of like, ah, okay, so you have to have a little bit of detachment, once you, once you are gonna welcome other people in and you also have to have the lens of, I hear your input, but you're actually not my target market, or you're not the people I need that from. So thank you for that. But I'm just gonna go over here, you know, so knowing who you're doing it for, is who you need to go ask for feedback from, but that's so beautiful that you're like, we just don't have enough data. So you weren't really saying no, you're just saying not right now until these things happen.Lesley Logan 17:26  Yeah, well, because it's, I think, like, having the data from the actual people and you hit the nail on the head, like, we often ask family members, what do they think? And they're like, not your target market half the time and family likeKareen Walsh 17:41  No, no, no. No, sorry. My family has no clue what I actually do like, even to this day, I think my mom thinks I'm an HR because I got a degree back in the day on that, like, yes, only get the feedback from your target market, because the family comes with so much baggage, too, the way they say it, how they say it, who said it (inaudible).Lesley Logan 18:06  My mother-in-law gave me like three ideas on the phone the other day, and it was like, you know, and you're just like, and I, like, I have enough ideas, first of all. And also these ideas. I don't know (inaudible). And I was like, how do I say it? Kareen Walsh 18:21  Those are great ideas. Not for me.Lesley Logan 18:24  Thank you. Thanks, you know, I think your daughter will kill me if I'm late on projects (inaudible) you have to know who to ask and that no, I thinks, sometimes, and oftentimes, like, I hire people to be the people to ask the questions to like, that's why people hire you. It's like, it's like you're curating the right people to ask advice from and then you're also having to be very particular who you ask information from on your beautiful baby. Okay. I want to go back a little bit though. Because since so, we had you on several years back, you're back now a lot has changed and you're one of the guests who I know understands what be it till you see it means even before this podcast even existeds. You do it all the time. So how have you been beeing it till you see it these last couple of years with this evolution? Kareen Walsh 19:16  Yeah, yeah. No. So it's been interesting. The the self journey is all about being true, like so I think since we last did the, our recording. It was I was definitely very driven in serving—serving my clients, serving others, serving, you know, people in my life. It was all this outbound side. And about two and a half years ago, I was like, I'm depleted, like getting through the pandemic. So my business skyrocketed during the pandemic because one of my consulting companies, basically was, like grew doubled in what it was because my services were in high demand during the time where people couldn't hire full time, and so they needed experts that I have in my business to come in and do that. So I not only was like extremely busy, so the money was in the bank, and I had the vision for that. And I stepped into my entrepreneurial side for it. But I neglected who I had to become to actually stand in it in a healthy way. So when I think about the be it until you see it, I had to shift my lens to make sure that I'm a multifaceted person. So I need a dynamic way of caring for myself, in order to then stand in all these things that I choose to manage. And in that two-and-a-half-year mark, I realized that I was really in this point of convincing myself, I call it a form of self-manipulation when you're sitting in convincing energy that I was okay, when I wasn't. So I had to shift my perspective completely to be like, Kareen, what is a healthy, aligned, entrepreneurial life that you want to lead? And I started to design that for myself and had to remove all the layers of the way I was showing up in life to cast a healthier vision for my businesses, for myself, personally, who I was surrounding myself with, who I was in relationship with, how I was attracting clients and I had to clean house. And it was a very transformative few years because I refuse to deny myself the truth of what was really going on with me, and what I really wanted. And so once I stood in my truth, and I was like, okay, this is what I want, then I had to stand in integrity in my action. So the be it till you see it energy is how you act in it until it actually happens. Right? So you have the belief. Sure. You have the vision. Sure. But none of it can be manifested without action. And so for me, I've always been action-oriented, but not with the aligned stance of me first, it was always for everyone else.And then it was like, Okay, if I took care of me first, I can even do so much more for everyone else. So now what that then allowed me to do in that perspective, so first, you have to kind of get clear on your perspective and how you treat yourself in the process to then cast these visions of like, okay, if I want to, you know, build my mastermind and I want to I have this now two-day immersive I do with my clients that I freakin love like to go for two days from end to end through my evolve methodology with a founder, like that vision that I had for it. And I think I designed it last June. And by December, I had gone through five different entrepreneurial businesses and done these two-day immerses and where their businesses are today, like, those opportunities would not have been there because I wasn't clear on the stance that I wanted prior. Prior, it was all these like short-term stent things. And now it's like, no, I want longevity. I want to walk alongside my clients always. I want to feel that they see me evolving, while I'm helping them evolve. Like, I want to make sure there's this continuous growth, you know, energy in everything I do. And sometimes that's hard to fully visualize, but you can determine the stance you want in it. And just as simple as showing up in that stance, then the right things start to attract in and are reflective in the interactions you have. Lesley Logan 23:36  Yeah, I think like it's been fun because I get to watch on the outside, too, and I get to be on the inside too (inaudible) I got to see like, and not just because the world had opened up last year, it (inaudible) for several years. But like to watch you go okay, the person, the way I want this (inaudible) to people I want to help, they're in this room, I'm gonna go in that room. They're in this room, I'm gonna go in that room. And that is being it till you see it. It's not waiting for them to find you. Kareen Walsh 24:03  Oh, no, no, no. Lesley Logan 24:04  Or until you are ready. Kareen Walsh 24:06  Yeah. No, it's always an action or pick up the phone, I would pick up the phone to or email someone say, hey, I'm really trying to attract these type of people and who do you know, like, we don't do that enough even with our own network of who we know already. Social media has been very interesting. And the, I treat it as like, here's the behind the scenes of my life how I'm doing things and I'm on Instagram, most of it that's a, you know, you see that all the time, right? But I'm more sharing my journey than I and then there's some coaching moments in there. But truly my network, it's my relationships that actually have built what I have. Because it's who knows me that trust me to then recommend me. So getting into those rooms like you said, like, the first time I ever joined a mastermind I remember being so like, imposter syndrome, like am I even worthy of being in here because all the qualifications that were required to get into that mastermind. And then I remember going into it and being told, okay, the only value we got out of this mastermind was meeting you. And I was like, I was worried about coming into the room. And I'm realizing that wasn't a match. But their qualification process was so intense that I thought I was, I had to qualify, but all these other people were let in that were not, you know, and so it was this mismatch of things. But I bring that up because it's still, they all, eventually, a group of them became my clients because it was like, well, I got in the room where I would attract what I was building in, and I stood in integrity in that room, you know. Lesley Logan 25:37  Yeah, I know what you mean, like, one of the first masterminds I was in, the first one who walked up, she was in fitness. And so was I, so am I. And she shared this was a brag and so she does her brag. I'm like, I am not someone who brags. I'm much better bragging now, but this is not how I was (inaudible) And so she does her big bragging. I was like, she has to pass. I'm seeing her the whole time going, what am I bragging about? Like, you know, so I wasn't even listening to anyone else. After she went, I'm like, well, I'm so screwed, you know, and then it was really funny. As I did my brag. I sat down, and the brag was also like, (inaudible) sat down and then at the end of that first day, they said, okay, we want you to partner up with people to be your accountability partner. And she, the first person went up to me, she's like, you, I think scared me enough that I'll get stuff done. I was like, I scared you?Kareen Walsh 26:26  You'll never know. Just show up authentically.Lesley Logan 26:28  I think that's really like the key there. You mentioned manifestation and you mentioned action. And something that I try, because people throw manifesting that word around a lot. Kareen Walsh 26:40  Yes, they do. It is. It's a hot word. Lesley Logan 26:43  It's a hot word. I manifested. Something that will like, makes my skin crawl is when I, Brad and I will meet people in this entrepreneurial world. And they'll say like, oh, what made you move somewhere? Like, my, like, intuition led me there and I'm like, okay, great. I manifested it. I'm like, hey, you've had to do something.Kareen Walsh 27:02  You did something. No, manifestation does not happen without action. Otherwise, it's a dream. Manifestation is that it's literally the manifest it's the coming through of the concept. It's the tangible result. You can't get results without action. So it's just a more woowoo way of saying, you know, I have this vision, I put goals against this vision. And now this vision came to life, same way, we run things you manifested it, manifestation is the whole picture. It's the I visualized it, I did something about it, now it's here. And the visualization is so key, because that's the energy you're putting out into the world. If you do want to be more on the woowoo side, or the spiritual side, or the energy-based side, right? Like, you have to have a very clear vision of what it is that you want, or keep visualizing it like every day, put energy into that vision be like, what does it look like now? How much juicier can it be? What else can I add to it, right? And you just sit in that, and you can sit in visualization. But if you don't do anything about it, it's not going to come. A lot of people also love to say, I can't believe this person just called me today, I was exactly thinking that I wanted this thing. And I got this phone call and I got this thing. I manifested it. Right? Well, you obviously had to say something about it, or put an intention out there. You're still in action. Even that meditative moment is an action. Right? Like, and then the energy around it and how you're carrying your body and the conversations you're having and vocalizing it, then of course, it shows up for you. Because it's so prevalent in your mind that what you focus on you find, so it will show up. Lesley Logan 28:41  Yeah, we've had several brain experts on the podcast who talked about like, the reticular activating system. It's the RAS. And to me, that is the way you could spot that something happened after you thought about it, because your brain has been seeking it out as you've been visualizing it, and asking, and then also taking some action to put yourself in those rooms and those spaces and those opportunities. You wouldn't even like notice, or, you know, Brad, and I've been in some random places were like, wow, that's so crazy that that happened. We ended up making a wrong turn here. It's like, well, no, it's not that crazy. If you think about my brain was seeking out for this thing and the reason we noticed it on that right turn is because my brain was thinking about it, my brain has been thinking about it.Kareen Walsh 29:24  And then you have to say something out loud. So then for Brad to turn the vehicle to go to that destination. Lesley Logan 29:30  Yeah. Yeah. Kareen Walsh 29:32  Because if you just sat there and be like, oh, I thought about that thing. And I was, you just drove right past it. That's not gonna manifest what you were hoping for, like there was still an action, you know, I mean, that brain power is definitely an energy zone and it interacts with what's around us and like, call it in but you will not see it until you actually.Lesley Logan 29:55  So I have one more question for you though on this because I meet a lot of people who like I don't even know what to manifest. I don't even know what my goals are. And part of me is like, is it that they're they don't feel worthy? Or is it that they are scared? Like, do you think that we don't know what our goals are? That there's an opportunity? Or is it just that we get so far away that it feels like lost? Like it's too far away?Kareen Walsh 30:17  I think it's a mix of all the things I think each individual as their journey on, like, who they're becoming, right, and who they are today might not be who they had hoped to be once, right? And so we generally want things out in the world because it represents a part of us that we're trying to put out there. Right? No one really wakes up and says, I want to go do this shit job today, like, that's not the desire, right? Like, you wake up and you're like, I want purpose. And I want, I want to feel desire, and I want to find connection. And I, you know, the human needs are still the same for all of us. I want some variety. I want some excitement, you know, and sometimes when we get into a monotonous way of living, we convince ourselves again, it's that same energy, we convince ourselves, we're fine, that we're not looking inward as to why our vision is not clear. And I think that's, that is the inner awakening that has to happen to say, the worthiness of dreaming again, because you talked about self-worth, I think, when we sit in the I don't know energy, I'm fine. If you're sitting there, you're doing a lot of shoulder shrugging in your life, right? Like, ah, like, there's no real excitement to the life that you've been given that is so freakin short. Like I said, time is so limited. That that's the shakeup I would do first, to allow yourself to realize what I have been showing up for is no longer a fit for who I am, or who I desired to be. Shake it up. Shake it up and allow yourself to dream again and say now from this dance without all the veil of darkness of the things I've been tolerating or the things I've been convincing myself, I'm okay with, how can I dream from this place? What do I want the what I want this best version of me to have not the fine version, the fine version of you gets mediocre results, right? The best version of you gets you good results, the outstanding version of you will get you excellent results. Like it's really again that and interaction of energy and like what you focus on, but I would say if anyone is sitting in that energy of self-doubt and procrastination, even like we talked about earlier, or just uncertainty of like, what do I do next? I would say do the inner work to understand what's not working right now in my life, that I would like to uplevel and shift, you know.Lesley Logan 32:50  I think, I mean, I know you're right, I believe exactly what you're saying because especially if the people around you are making you doubt yourself. That's not an environment for growth of any ideas. And so you do have to shake it up. Or if you can't change that situation, you do have to find a place to like,park yourself during the day to at least have moments where you can have yourself be poured into and there's so many different ways now to get poured into by people for free. Because the podcasts that are out there, (inaudible) this person is my mentor. Kareen Walsh 33:24  Yeah, no, you really can and listen to the conversations, but then do the work to say okay, how do I now integrate that thought that really inspired me into action in my life? Right? Like there's there's something about absorbing it all, which is amazing. But if you're a perpetual student, and not someone who takes action towards what it is that you feel you want next, there's a it's a mismatch, right? You're going to be back in that fine shoulder shrugging situation. So finding the courage to take action and even the smallest ones, like I always say, you know, two minutes a day on that new thing. Then make it four minutes, then make it five minutes, then, you know, then the half an hour or whatever that is, and just stand in it for a little longer to realize it's a fit or not. Yeah, because sometimes we also have these aspirational things. I love that person was so inspiring, so aspirational. I want to go that direction. You try it on yourself. And you're like, oh, it was not a fit like this is not what I'm meant to be, that's great for them, not for me. So permission to move on. Right? Lesley Logan 34:25  Yeah, I love, everyone else who is listening, I've been hobby hunting. I really love this hobby that I picked up this at the end of this year. I'm like, I'm gonna give it 12 weeks because like, I've picked it up before and I'm gonna give it 12 weeks. And I was like, I really just wanted to do it at home because every place I have to go to it's late at night (inaudible) and so I like this, but I don't like how it's existing out there. And so it's not that I like quit it. It's just like it's on pause until it can be (inaudible) convenient. Yeah, yeah. Kareen Walsh 34:50  Exactly and I liked the note removing excuses. Do you know what I mean? Like by bringing it in, then there's no longer excuse of timing or like the mismatch of schedule or it can travel with you, or whatever that looks like. Lesley Logan 35:04  Yeah, and I think and I do think it's that I love that you mentioned earlier, it's like permission to change your mind, it's okay. And also doing that inner work to really understand how you want to tap into your power and who you want to be. Kareen Walsh 35:15  It's also a permission to fumble. Right? So that's the other permissioning that I tend to, to share where it's like, for example, if I'm gonna go do like a keynote talk, and I always am like, I might trip up those stairs, like, I might trip up those stairs on my way out there, I might forget my words, or I might, I might blank out, you know, and now I can literally sit and all the fear of the what ifs that could go wrong. And I have to give myself permission to fumble, because I will recover. Right? We will always step back up like, you trip, you step back up, you fall, you get up like there's—to only focus on the negative and not the what could happen once that happens, like what you choose to do in that moment. So I also give myself permission to fumble.Lesley Logan 35:59  Well, our mutual friend Chelsea Peitz has found that there is scientific research that people will trust people who make mistakes publicly more than the perfectly curated (inaudible) like yeah.Kareen Walsh 36:12  It's relatable. We all fumble, we are all human. There isn't a perfect way to do anything. It's just the right way for right now. And it's can be super messy. So like, step into it. And it's actually quite beautiful. I, personally, when I do fall, because I do, I laugh at myself, because I think I always think of the perspective of someone watching me falling. (Inaudible) I know, it literally is like, oh my god, if someone was standing there and saw me (inaudible) that's hilarious. Lesley Logan 36:41  Yeah, I have super long legs. I'm like how am I still standing? They're doing something down there.Kareen Walsh 36:49  But imagine the perspective of someone else watching it. I don't know. I just think it's funny.Lesley Logan 36:53  I walked into a pole once. And I laughed so hard. At first I was stunned and I was like, how many people drove by to watch me just like, walk right into that pole?Kareen Walsh 37:06  My favorite one was last summer I was in Nantucket and on an electric bike and getting used to it. I'm not a bike rider because I had an accident when I was seven that like messed up my face. And so anyway, I got on this electric bike and I'm doing this turn and this lawn service truck was supposed to go around this roundabout. And so I was gauging as if it was gonna move and it didn't move. So I like I had to Jimmy around and ended up slamming into a parked jeep. And I like shoulder-checked it, right? Like I was like, oh, like this and then I backed up. I was like, the car is okay. I was more concerned about, it was so funny. Like the things that happen when you're in the moment you just don't know (inaudible) on the bike and I went Lesley Logan 37:54  That's one way to be it till you see it, like, just start laughing at yourself (inaudible) and you probably come somebody doesn't actually take yourself to seriously.Kareen Walsh 38:03  So in trying when you try new things too, give it a few attempts, but allow yourself the fun of trying something new. That's like being a kid again. You know, and I don't think we do that enough either. And again, that brings the dreams back or the more kid-like you are the more playful you are go color go dance, go do the things that all of a sudden lights you up comes back to you.Lesley Logan 38:25  I went to circus school as I wanted because I live where there's a circus school and I want and they had this like trial thing. You could try a different circus thing. So I knew for a fact that I wasn't gonna do trapeze. One of it was at the end. And it was like, I didn't have 90 minutes. I had like 75 And I was like there is in zero lifetime am I letting go of that? Thanks. I don't want to get stuck up. I just, I know myself enough to know that's a little beyond my skill level today. Doesn't mean it's a never it's just not right now. So, but, I'm in this circus class. It's me and two boys and the boys are seven and 11 (inaudible) so, their moms are they're like watching (inaudible) watching this try out silks and watching the trampolines and I was like, oh, trampoline, (inaudible) like this. I loved I had the best time they were doing 7/11 year old students, right, and I was there like having the best time. I laughed out loud. They were like trying to bounce me off (inaudible) the moms just were like (inaudible).Kareen Walsh 39:27  (Inaudible) did we hire a nanny and forget? Lesley Logan 39:31  (Inaudible) this ball pit and I was like, I don't know, guys, can you go first? Because like, I don't know, they, like, you know, did seven-year-old (inaudible) okay, I could do it, too. But I was like (inaudible) because I'm like, I'm 40 in a (inaudible) class, but you, it really made me you get this dopamine high then you're like I can like life is actually quite fun. So good. We can keep going. But so we'll just have to have you back. Kareen Walsh 39:57  Yeah, any time. Lesley Logan 39:58  But I want to ask where people can find you, follow you, work with you? Kareen Walsh 40:00  Sure. So well, obviously, if you want access to the new platform, it's HeyKareen.com and just join the waitlist so that you get first to know because I'm, that's going to hopefully come out this summer. I don't know when this episode will air , but.Lesley Logan 40:13  Probably at the same time. (Inaudible) waitlist (inaudible) Kareen Walsh 40:16  Or you'll be able to download it because it's just phenomenal. So that's HeyKareen.com. And then anything to work with me truly like the latest thing that I've launched for more in depth strategic time that I think is a nice quick hit, is that I have a four hour half day strategy session that I offer now. That is Kareenwalsh.com/halfday, if you're interested in like a quick spurt of like, what am I doing that needs to shift in order to like, achieve what I want to achieve this year in business. That's a really nice way to get started. And you just like, apply there, and then we'll figure out a time to work together. But truly, like, if you're wanting to step into vision work, and like, reignite, that I would download my SLP program, which helps you go through my vision exercises, and then jump into action and strategy on how to achieve it. So that's a korean.com/slp. Lesley Logan 41:10  Perfect, I'll put all those in the show notes. You've given us a lot of action steps already. So if you want to bring him back, we can but we all have to give the bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted steps people can take to be it till they see it something that's like the "too long" it's not that they didn't listen, but they're like, hold on,Kareen Walsh 41:31  What do I take away? Lesley Logan 41:32  Got to do some action. Because yes, I love, you know, how I built this, But how the hell do you take the next step? So, anything you have for us?Kareen Walsh 41:42  I mean, if you really want to step into a life of like integrity of who you're meant to become, and like how to manifest it, if we want to use that word or achieve it or just stand in it, like have it actually be what you're proud of showing up in? I would say the best action first is to look inward and assess where are you out of integrity, and see what you can do to tweak that to make it a little bit better. Because even just that small seven, it's actually a big exercise, but it in the sense of like the inner work to do and to look inward. But I feel like if you're able to do that, then you'll have a better clearer lens on what you truly desire. So what you want to actually be becomes clearer. It's it's an inner work step. But I feel like without that, everything else is just more noise. Lesley Logan 42:38  Yeah, it is more stuff. And like we don't need we don't always need more.Kareen Walsh 42:42  We know a lot of the how but I've been focusing a lot about the who, who do we have to become to stand in the life and the business we want to lead? Yeah. And that's one of the first steps. Lesley Logan 42:54  Yeah, you have been helping me this year a lot. Because I was like, sometimes feeling stuck. But I was like, how do we if we want to go to another level? Like, I gotta go to another level. How do I go? Who do I need to be to this thing? And also, like, I'm gonna know that I never did what I did before now. So now it's like, another thing. And really like thinking about that, who and like, what that is? And what does that look like? And what does that feel like? And what are the words around that? What is the schedule around that? Kareen Walsh 43:24  What do you have to let go to create room for it like, yeah, so the whole part is more of what I've been focusing on to be it until you see it. Lesley Logan 43:34  I love that. No one's ever focused on the who in over 400 episodes. So thank you, Kareen, for that. You guys, how are you going to use these tips in your life? Make sure you tag Kareen, tag the Be It Pod. Let us know and do us a favor, share this with a friend if you've got that friend who has been shrugging, shrugging. You should send this to them. You only have to tell them, hey, you've been (inaudible) a lot. You can just send it to them and then they'll hear (inaudible) We can do that for them. So thank you all so very much for being who you are. Kareen, thank you for being you. And until next time, everyone, be it till you see it. Lesley Logan 44:09  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Lesley Logan 44:36  Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod. Brad Crowell 44:51  It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell. Lesley Logan 44:56  It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co. Brad Crowell 45:01  Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi. Lesley Logan 45:08  Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals. Brad Crowell 45:11  Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/be-it-till-you-see-it/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Cybersecurity expert Greg Tomchik knows firsthand the importance of fostering trust within organizations. He believes that building a trust-centric culture is key to strengthening security measures. In this episode, Greg shares his transition from professional baseball to business, highlighting the impact of self-discovery and compassion on career growth and community engagement. Get ready for valuable cybersecurity leadership strategies and insights in this impactful episode hosted by Lesley Logan.If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co. And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.In this episode you will learn about:Greg's challenges transitioning from professional sports to business.How trust gaps can be a company's biggest vulnerability and blind spot.The 3 C's of Trust: Compassion, Consistency, and Connection.How trusting your inner voice leads to wise decision-making.Why robust cybersecurity balances technology and people-focused processes.The power of compassionate questions in building better communities.Episode References/Links:Greg Tomchick LinksGreg Tomchick WebsiteValor CybersecurityGuest Bio:Greg Tomchick is a 2015 ODU Graduate, former professional baseball player turned award-winning cybersecurity coach. He has worked with more than 250 world-renowned companies including American Airlines, Caterpillar, and Trinity Rail. He is regularly featured live on ABC, Fox News, and is an expert contributor to Inc. Magazine. After building multiple seven-figure companies for America's most prestigious families, he is now the CEO of Valor Cybersecurity and host of The Connected Mindset Live Show. Greg helps industry leading executives and his community connect to the mindsets that enable them to protect what they value most, in life and in business. If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. DEALS! Check out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper's Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox Be in the know with all the workshops at OPCBe It Till You See It Podcast SurveyBe a part of Lesley's Pilates MentorshipFREE Ditching Busy Webinar  Resources:Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!Lesley Logan websiteBe It Till You See It PodcastOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley LoganOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTubeProfitable Pilates Follow Us on Social Media:InstagramFacebookLinkedIn  Episode Transcript:Greg Tomchick 0:00  I say life's an inside job because we create things inside before we bring them out to the world. I mean, I did it with my business, I'm sure you've done it with all your companies is, it starts internally, sometimes it can be fueled by the outside. But if you don't believe or have trust in your vision, you know, nobody else will. And I think every entrepreneur, every business owner, everybody that's achieving anything great, that's where it all starts, whether we know it's happening or not.Lesley Logan 0:27  Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started. Lesley Logan 1:09  Hi, Be It babe. Okay, I'm so excited for this. I was on the road and I got to do this interview, you're about to hear, in person. And in-person interviews are just interestingly, they're not better or worse, like they're, but they're different and it's really nice. And I found myself really intrigued by this whole entire interview because we all know that life is not linear. And it can be interesting when you meet someone, I have Greg Tomchick on, and he was MLB, like professional baseball player. And now he's in cybersecurity. And I'm like, I got it. How are the dots? How did we get here? And something that I think is really cool to hear is how much he asked questions during his time as a baseball player that allowed him to really lead him to what he's doing today. And so I'm really excited for you to hear from him and his story and what and don't let cybersecurity make you go, "What?" It's gonna be it till you see it in cybersecurity. There's so much here for you to learn. And he's such a cool person. And he also has an amazing podcast which he interviewed me on, The Connected Mindset. So if you are enjoying him on mine, I hope you go listen to the conversation we have over there because he asked me some incredible questions that no one has ever asked me before. So here is Greg Tomchick.Lesley Logan 2:23  All right, Be It babe, I'm so excited. I have a really cool dude here for you guys. I got to meet him via Zoom and an amazing group of people. And I've found him very fascinating. I'm just gonna say I feel like I've learned a lot about you that I didn't know. But Greg Tomchick, you're here today with us. Can you tell everyone who you are and what you rock at? Greg Tomchick 2:42  Yes, it's such a pleasure to be here with you, Lesley. I rock at helping people build trust. Through the years of my career, I've been able to help executives and companies build trust with the outside of their company. But oftentimes, they have a hard time building trust with themselves. And that's really what I've come to specialize in is helping them build trust from the inside out whether they're running a company, running a sports team, or running their their own personal lives.Lesley Logan 3:08  Okay. That's, that's a very big thing to help people do. I feel like, I feel like a lot of our listeners could, they actually do struggle with trusting others. And they're not even necessarily big companies like you've worked with some incredible companies. Can we go back a little bit? Like, did you start out wanting to work in companies and helping them build trust? And when they asked what did you want to be when you grow up? I don't know that that was probably what you said. Can you talk about that a little bit? Greg Tomchick 3:37  Yeah, I feel like I've lived multiple lifetimes. So I went from a kid who has military family and military has a lot of trust in the community, people looking to you as the warrior who's defending their community or country, ended up being a professional baseball player. And I wasn't able to excel in baseball until I was able to trust myself, which allowed other people to trust and put me into those difficult situations. So when I got out of baseball, I was trying to find my identity. And I looked back to my baseball career and said, "What made me unique in that specific environment?" And it was a lot of intentional trust-building. I would ask executives of the teams the right questions. I would try to go out of my way to build that connection with them in ways that other players didn't. Most of the time, players would just like in a lot of companies, we exclude ourselves from the executives and just kind of you know, they're overseeing us. I always tried to engage, show my compassion for what they were doing for the overall team, and be consistent with that. And that's what helped me build trust with them. And then eventually, they gave me the opportunity to play professionally and be able to put on top stages to perform and if I didn't have that trust with them, they never would have given me that opportunity. So when I was running my second company, which was a software development company, we had, some called a cyber attack, and at that time, I didn't know what a cyber attack or cybersecurity really was and I wanted to help other people who may go through that in the future, kind of solve that from or prevent that from taking place in their lives. And what I realized when I would go in as a cybersecurity expert to brief these, you know, boards of people who have done business for 50 years at the end of their career now running these Fortune companies, was they brought us in to build trust with their vendors, with their customers, with regulators. And I started to ask some questions that was important to me as an athlete, was, you know, what do you do in your daily life? What does your family look like? How do you want to intentionally map what I call the rhythm of existence to make sure that this company is successful from the inside out. And what I realized is a lot of these executives were such a cluster in their personal lives, that it brought it into their business. And a lot of that came from a void, and I consider that the void of them being able to trust themselves enough to be stern on the standards and values that they knew they needed to have, but didn't know how to carry that out. So I started to help a lot of these executives on a personal level develop the trust internally which, a lot of times, they, you know, a therapist or some type of talk therapy would get them there. But I matched it with the goal that they wanted as a rhythm for their business life and tried to find a way to integrate those two. And what I heard from executives was wow and I trust myself to be able to carry out and do what I need to do. And my company has really revamped and reshaped our ability to, you know, be successful, be fulfilled, and also be secure at the same time.Lesley Logan 6:40  Okay. This is so fascinating because I'm sure, anyone heard like cyber attack, cybersecurity, they're like, okay, hold on, that's not, that's not anything that, I think we're all very clear we don't want any, anyone have access to any of our information online. And that's constantly something we, companies, are thinking about. I don't think that anyone probably thinks of it and also thinks like, who's making sure the people at the companies are taking care of themselves in a way that makes sure that down the line, we're all being protected? So how did you put those things together? Or is that the secret sauce?Greg Tomchick 7:19  Yeah. No, no, no, it's something we share for free. It's out there on our blog, and different things that we post, but a lot of it was your security risk from either a digital or physical standpoint is based off of the vulnerabilities that you have. So vulnerability, we consider it as a gap. If you have all of these gaps, but you think you're secure, you're insecure by default. And those are the people that typically have these cyber attacks. And that's what I had in my company is I was so focused on technology development, that I had all of these gaps in my understanding of what it meant to be holistically secured. And so when I would go into these companies, I would just go into to ask them the right questions to find those vulnerabilities. And I found this, this void of trust was their biggest vulnerability because they didn't trust anybody, which gave them a lot of blind spots, that, you can't walk around and just not trust anybody when you're running a multi-million dollar, you know, even bigger company. It drives you crazy. It makes you miss a lot of things because you're so focused on so many different things. And it created a lot of clarity for executives, and I really saw a lot of them, like, let their guard down because they were now able to trust themselves enough to, you know, go tell a team or tell one person, hey, I'd love for you to fulfill this for the company and just trust that they're going to do it in the best way for that individual. And it's the same end result, but they were trying to micromanage so much. And you can only micromanage so many things. And it just creates a lot of catastrophe, a lot of lost money, a lot of lost people. And really, it threatened the whole culture. And when, as we know, the culture of a company, a culture of a community, a culture of a family, is really where everything either lives or dies. Lesley Logan 7:19  Yeah, I know. And I've never thrived well in an environment where a boss micromanaged me. I can think back to the last actual job I had where I was an employee. And where I succeed the most is when I was given like, kind of free rein, they're like, here's what we're expecting of you, here's what your goals are, here's what to do. And I could do it in my way where there was a lot of trust from the people who are above me. And then there was a shift and there was changes, and then the President changed and the company and then all these, like, you got to fill out this document, gotta do this, you have to check this box, every day and I was like, you get to the point where you you don't feel like there's any trust in you. And that makes you, as the employee, not feel good or like you can thrive or you have ideas. And I think in our own lives, I think a lot of listeners can even look back into like, the times they've micromanage people in their lives or family, their partners or spouses, and it doesn't build trust. In fact, it does the opposite and it doesn't make you trust them anymore. Greg Tomchick 10:04  Yeah, absolutely. It's, it's something I continue to learn about. But when I, when I initially had somebody give it back to me of, this process you took us through helped us build trust from the inside out, I really attached to that idea and concept and wanted to bring that out to the world and have been able to speak on international stages about it. And the end result, what I've found after like a small business meeting or at a conference is, everybody approaches people differently after they hear the topic. And they hear and can connect to it and hear the internal voice and what the internal voice is saying. One of the things I'm big on is, there's like this self-help personal development craze that's been going on for years. And I'm big on the self-discovery. So when I'm saying something to somebody, I want them to hear the internal voice of how that's resonating with them, to speak the voice into themselves. And they have to hear that as opposed to me giving them a step by step process to say, this is what you need to do to achieve your goal. And some people need that. But the best things happen when you have that self-discovery. And I've been able to find ways to get executives and get people in an audience to start to hear that voice and start to kind of trust the voice that they're hearing. And then they go out and connect with people in amazing ways.Lesley Logan 11:24  Yeah, I think I love that you're like, because there is a lot of self-help and self-discoveries. It can happen through self-help, but mostly it is within. And we often look outward for other people to help us and that's when we can be more vulnerable if we're not sure of who we are. Let's go on to trust. Let's talk about that a little bit. How is trust built? And I have a similar sense, I feel like I have a hard time trusting people. And I feel for that I have to inherently trust, a lot of people I have to trust when I'm crossing the street that someone's going to stop because they're supposed to like I feel for people who have distrust or mistrust or no trust and people are like, how do we work on that?Greg Tomchick 12:04  Yeah, it's a great question. And the journey to get there is a little bit different for everybody. I think at the core of trust with anybody is consistency. So you want to have that consistent engagement with someone that you're building trust with, you want to have compassion, so you want to have a, an approach to understand where they're coming from. And I think a lot of that comes down to your personal morals and values and standards, a lot of people say standards. But knowing what you want in the world is important to have the compassion for somebody else. And that compassion to me is, you know, asking questions that allow people to share what they believe about the world, what they want to see carried out, whether that's business or personal life. So you have, you know, you have the consistency that people need, if you see people that are inconsistent, you're not going to trust them. And if you if you have the compassion and you feel that they have the compassion, that builds a mutual trust with each other, that you're speaking your truth, or truths align. And that, you know, that's a multiplier for that trust-building process. One of the big things I talked about is connection. Connections, you know, it's considered in a number of ways, you know, technology connection, people connecting and having conversation. But I think connecting with people, how you enjoy connecting, some people like to have deep conversations, some people like to say, surface level. So when you're going out to build trust with people that you want to be around, to be able to have the clarity of how you like to connect to people. For me, I like to ask deep questions. So when I'm going out and public, and I'm not asking what do you do for a living? I'm like, what makes you feel alive? These questions that's, for some people, are big but I know when I am connecting with someone that really enjoys those questions that we're building trust from the start to be able to have future conversations like that. So I think, you know, it all goes back to those three C's for me. But I really think it takes all three to really build trust from an external standpoint, but also, I say, from the inside out, so you have to be consistent with yourself. You have to connect with yourself in ways like Pilates, you know, for me, I do a lot of yoga, I exercise. If I skip out on something that I told myself I was gonna do, then it starts to build a distrust in myself. So it's that consistency, connecting to myself in the ways that I enjoy, and being compassionate with myself like asking my internal voice, you know, what's important for me today, this week, what I want to accomplish, and sticking to that. And if I'm able to do that on a daily, weekly, quarterly, annual basis, then I trust that I'm going to carry out what I say I'm going to do. And if I can't trust myself, I can't build trust with other people. So I say from the inside out because it takes me doing those three things each day to be able to go out in my business and personal life and build trust with other people. And if I'm doing that from an authentic place, people are going to sense that. And I think that's what a lot of us are doing. And what I found myself, before I did this hard work, I was trying so hard to build trust with other people, and was distracting the trust that I didn't have in myself. And that's something I found through baseball, because if I didn't build that trust, I wouldn't have been able to get to that professional level on the field. Lesley Logan 15:31  I was gonna ask a question about like, rebuilding trust after some, we've lost trust somewhere. And I do want to touch on that. But I want to highlight it sounds very clear to me and correct me if I'm wrong, you have to have trust within yourself. For my overachievers and my perfectionists listening, it's not about doing the three journal pages plus the run plus this and putting yourself in a position where you cannot achieve consistency in your daily life with the commitment you want to have with yourself, but picking things you can be consistent with so you can build trust within yourself. So then it's gonna be easier to trust others, but also for them, like to trust you, because people can sense a dissonance that's there, you know, we can fake it till we make it all the time, which is what not what this podcast is about. But to be it till you see it as actually to like, stand in the power. What does a person who trusts himself act like? What does a person who trusts himself and trust others do? How do they engage in conversation? It's going to require that inside work? Greg Tomchick 16:25  Yeah, it's inside out. I say life's an inside job because we create things inside before we bring them out to the world. I mean, I did it with my business. I'm sure you've done it with all your companies is, it starts internally, sometimes it can be fueled by the outside, but if you don't believe or have trust in your vision, you know, nobody else will. And I think every entrepreneur, every business owner, everybody that's achieving anything great. That's where it all starts, whether we know it's happening or not.Lesley Logan 16:53  Yeah, yeah, that's so true. Okay. (Inaudible) a baseball because my family, if they're listening, would be really upset if we didn't. My grandfather's professional baseball player as well. He quit it to go be in World War Two. So like, it was like your country and baseball, right? It takes a lot to become a professional athlete, like there's just so few percentage of people. And then also, what I know about baseball is so few of them get into playing for the majors, you know, a lot of people end up being around the minors. I want to hear about that. And also like, the switching out of it, I imagine that's a big transition from who you were and what you say you do, you know? So can we talk a little about your story there?Greg Tomchick 17:34  Yeah, like to say when I was getting out of baseball, I was going through three divorces at one time, and I'll kind of, I'll get to that story. But it was, it was a tough, it was a very tough transition. So I had an older brother that also played professional baseball. So it was kind of someone to look up to. I always say you need someone to look up to and someone to chase which, you know, chasing myself in 10 years, or something I'll never kind of get to, but I always had my older brother to pave a path and make the mistakes before I got there. That's like the middle child syndrome. And he was able to get into professional baseball three years before me. So I was able to see what enabled him to do that. He was a free agent. So we didn't get drafted. But I realized what the scouts were looking for to get in and from middle school to high school to college, he helped kind of paved that path and make some of the mistakes so that I could come in and make them more clear path. But it was, it was really about clarity on what I was good at. So I was a pitcher. So I was on the mound, throwing different pitches and, and trying to make sure that people didn't hit it too hard or hit it out of the ballpark. And I knew what I was really good at, you know, I threw the ball really hard. I sometimes didn't know where it was going. And what I would go to scouts and ask is what do I need to do this year to improve on your scoreboard or, you know, what are you measuring me on and a lot of them said composure and leadership. So it wasn't even a skill set thing. And we always focus on skill sets, as opposed to some of the intangibles, especially in athletics, because it's like, you need to throw hard, you need to be really fast, you need to hit the ball really hard. And when I actually got through the minor leagues, I would go to leadership and to, as I was building trust with them, you know, would ask, hey, where do you see me as a player? What do you like about what I bring to the team? And they always said your composure and your leadership and I was like well what about my skills like I'm throwing the ball 95 miles an hour, had a lot of movement on it like, it was, you know, I was in the upper tier of the pitchers that I was competing with. Some of them were younger than me but they always said you give the team an energy and an example to follow what it looks like to be a good player from the outside and you know, they were like, appearance is very important to us. You know the fans really attached to leaders and want to bring them into the community. So I really started to double down in those areas, I started to talk to the team, give speeches to the team talk about the different trials and tribulations that we've gone through in the season, how we persevered. And I, obviously, was still improving my skill set. But when you hear from the outside world, like, this is the role we need you to play, we need you to be the leader, we need you to be composed and show the other players that are younger than you what they should look like, even though their skill set is either just the same or a little bit better than yours. So I really doubled down in that area, which was important for my career to continue to move up. But eventually, you know, the skills needed to be there. It's like everybody's at the same level. And some of those intangibles, bring you to the next level. And I reached a level where, you know, they were basically like, hey, you're you're kind of aging out, which I was only, you know, 24, 25 at that time, but you're competing against 17 and 18 year olds.Lesley Logan 17:34  Yeah. That's, I mean, every time I'm watching any sports, I'm like, oh, they're getting old for the next (inaudible), you know, like you think about those things. And so, people, I was a runner and people like, oh, would you let your kids play sports, if you're gonna have them? And I said, they'd be runners, you have a much longer career, less money, longer career. So that sucks. Because it's like, it's not like an injury took you out. It's not like we're playing worse. It's just kind of like you hit this wall that they no longer could work with. So you, you had to make a different decision. You had to change careers. What was that like to wake up and not train to pitch the next day? Because that's, you still go workout, but like, you're not actually training for that skill set anymore?Greg Tomchick 21:39  Yeah, it's, it's a huge shock. I mean, that was my whole identity. Because the community, the team, my parents, at some point in time, looked at me as Greg, the baseball player. I had different things going on outside, which I consider like my plan B because I knew it wasn't gonna last forever. But the outside world and how they view you and how they talk to you is important for that internal voice. And if they weren't giving me that and saying, you know, what, when's your next game? You know, we love seeing you pitch last night. That was the way that I, my cup was filled up. So when I wasn't getting that, you know, had that drought period of, you know, what, who is Greg, what's his identity, you know, he's, he was considered the dumb jock in high school. So it's like, I'm not smart enough to get a job, to run a company to do anything important in the world of baseball is not there. And, you know, there was a lot of what I considered vulnerabilities at the time that I was trying to push away and try to find high-paying jobs and just do these activities that were just spinning the wheel. And until I got clear on what Greg could be based off of those things that people used to tell me—the composure, the leadership, how I could cultivate those in a way to bring those to the world of business, of technology, of personal discovery—that is really where that identity started to shift away from, you know, I was the baseball player, and I lived that life but I'm no longer that. And I had to come to grips with that, which was, you know, five to seven year process to get there. So. Lesley Logan 23:12  I was gonna say, like, how long does take? Is it three months, six months? Seven years. That's, that's a long time. But it's like, thank you for sharing that because I think sometimes we go, especially on Thursday, when people hear the recap and Brad read your amazing bio, that's gonna be like, you were a baseball player and now you're doing this. And it's like, it's such a, it is a journey. And it's okay for it to be.Greg Tomchick 23:33  Yeah, you have to, they used to always say in baseball, embrace the process, but we all want things immediate. But what I always went back to is, I didn't get to that point, based off of like, one performance, it took them seeing me six or seven times, and they were like, wow, this guy's composed. He's a leader amongst his team, leads by example. And, you know, by chance, he throws the ball pretty hard to get people out. But that was the secondary. And I see that a lot in businesses, we focus so much on skill sets and certifications. But you can be the most skilled individual, if you don't trust yourself, if you don't treat people the right way those skills are not as valuable.Lesley Logan 24:14  Yeah, it's, thanks for bringing that back up because I always tell a lot of people who are listening, we coach them on their business, and I'm like, you can hire, like, skill is easy to teach, to be honest, like some skills are gonna be harder than others, and some take longer to develop. But like, if the personality of the person isn't something you want to work with, doesn't align with your values, doesn't see the vision that you have, it really doesn't matter how good they are at it. I work with a lot of studios who like but they're my best teacher, and I'm like, they're stealing from you. They're not following the policies or not doing the things like I don't care how good they are, you know, and I recently hired an amazing woman and she's never been an executive assistant before but she, I looked at her resume and I was like, look, I've got all these jobs like you if you've been if you've worked in retail, and you've been assistant manager and a manager you can handle a budget and a schedule and customer service like, you're gonna figure out the skills you need to be my assistant. But the fact that you can hold on to multiple ideas at one time is what I need, like, I need that. And I said to her, I'm hiring you because I like who you are. And I trust you. And I think that you're the person I want to talk to, in my business, every single day. So you'll go learn these things and this is what I'm hiring for. And I think that is something people misunderstand. And they get so focused on learning the skill, and they don't know why they're not being chosen over someone else. And it's, a lot of it is trust, but a lot of it is that those qualities that are unique that someone's looking for. Greg Tomchick 24:18  People don't put them on the resume. It's amazing. You have to get to know people in order to tease those out and I think companies don't do that, typically. They hire people on a resume and hope that they have these character traits that are needed to excel. And I think that's why there's so much turnover in today's world, because people are doing things very, they're trying to do things too quick.Lesley Logan 25:57  Yeah, I agree with you. And I also think, like, I want to highlight something else you did I don't want anyone to miss. You asked people, what can I be doing better? What do you like about me? What are these things? I think a lot of us are waiting for that review every year to be told all these things. And it's like, you know, it can't, it's the same thing in your business, I have to ask our customers, why do you like us? What are we doing the best? What aren't we doing really well? What can we improve on? And, you know, it's asking the right people as well, because some people, they'll say what I'm like, well, I, I'm not trying to do that well, so that's okay. But, we, if we don't know what those things are, one, we can't put them on a resume, can't put them as a marketing tool, can't put it as a thing that can actually build the more, more trust and better relationships, then some of the vanity metrics that people put out there, we have the most classes, we have these things, and that's great. But a lot of people are picking stuff based off how it makes them feel.Greg Tomchick 26:59  Yeah, exactly. Yeah, we're like, on from one feeling to the next I call them feeling islands like you're going lily pad to lily pad have different feelings and that creates inconsistency with ourselves, as well as with others. So I think what you know what you're doing by asking those questions, it's showing compassion, you do it consistently. And then you know, also you're, you're finding ways to connect with people, people like to be asked how they feel about something. And if you can ask them, hey, how are you feeling about the service or the product we're delivering? Oftentimes, people are more than willing to share, once they feel, you know, you want to connect with them, you're compassionate by asking them a specific question and you're consistent with those, those are all those trust-building pillars that we, you know, help companies do from a security perspective, but it spans across the whole culture and the whole company. Lesley Logan 27:48  Yeah. That's so cool. Okay. So, today, you're in cybersecurity. What is it? What is that?Greg Tomchick 27:54  It's a good, it's a good question. So cyber is basically connected security. So that trust pillar is a part of a connected company, I think of, of connection as our ability to connect with the environment around us. And that's a lot of what my show The Connected Mindset Live is all about. You know, that includes technology, a lot of people think cybersecurity, they think technology. And most of cybersecurity is about the technologies. We use our phones, the applications, the computers. But a big part of cybersecurity that was not taken into account before we got into this industry and wanted to do something a little bit different was the people aspect and the processes that we all go through, I call it and I mentioned this earlier, kind of the rhythm of existence, but how the people in a company wake up, like what does their personal lives look like and not getting too deep into exactly what they're doing but how does that carry over into what they do for the company? A lot of times if our life's hectic, we bring hecticness to the company, it, you know, it'll make someone a little bit angry, and then it's a trickle effect. So how do you intentionally support your people to make sure the company has the right awareness and training of these different connected ways of securing the company? And it's not just technology, it's also making sure you have what I call kind of cross-culture trust and digital trust is a piece of that. But it's not the whole puzzle when it comes to cybersecurity. And that's what I saw by working with these large companies. They wanted something more people-focused and less technology-focused. I like to say, we're so connected today through technology that we're less connected than ever before because, you know, a text message, a DM, you know, going through social media, that is a false it's kind of a quick dopamine hit but there's nothing like going up to somebody in an office and like having that connection conversation and doing it consistently asking them questions about hey, how was your morning, you know, how did you, how are your kids doing, all of that stuff is what builds trust. And today, we think that we can do that through the phone and sometimes we can, sometimes it does work. But there's a very big shift going on in the cybersecurity field specifically, where people are starting to think about security less from the technology side, and all the cool, you know, password managers, configurations, all these different rules you can put on it, and thinking more about the person. And if that person has a bunch of vulnerabilities, somebody can walk right in the front door and take advantage of either a company or a person. Lesley Logan 30:36  Oh, 100%, you can hire the wrong contractor. You know, my inbox is full of people trying to sell me on whatever they can do with my Facebook ads, or my Amazon this. And I'm like, I'm the worst. I usually just hit block, spam. Or sometimes I'm like, you don't even know what I do. It's clear from these ads. So you can just stop right now. But like, if you are in a vulnerable state, you are feeling like what you don't have enough things, you could hire the wrong person that could really come in, and you pay them to do it. That is so it's such an interesting way, definitely not what I thought cybersecurity was. So I think this is the most interesting cybersecurity conversation we'll ever have. What are you most excited about right now?Greg Tomchick 31:21  Yeah, I think getting on more stages, like I love going to talk to people, it's something that fills my cup up. And it goes back to that, that leadership and that composure that is at the core of everything I do, whether it was athletics, leaving my family, or going out in the community and talking about things that I'm passionate about. I think just seeing each person that I interact with build better trust with themselves. Because I've went through that hard process of fighting that internal battle myself. So every person that gives me that point of feedback, and it's not why I do it for the feedback, but saying, I now feel more clear and more consistent in my personal and business life. That is what I'm extremely excited about just creating that multiple times over again, as I interact with different types of people, and go to more events where people walk away from the talk that I'm giving, and they better connect with the world around them with the people around them by doing simple things that are intentional, you know, connecting with people, you know, asking compassionate questions, and then being able to be consistent about how you're carrying yourself into the world. And I think that builds better trust, which builds better communities builds better companies. And I think, in my mind, it builds a better world, a world around us, that's a little bit more certain. Because as business owners, there's a lot of uncertainty. And if we have people around us that we trust, it's going to be a better business, a better world for us all to live in.Lesley Logan 32:46  Yeah, I agree. I think like, one of the things that's most certain is how uncertain it's all gonna be. But you're right, if you're surrounded, I know for myself, like I just spent a couple days with my best friends in person we live, you know, three and a half thousand miles away from each other, we don't even always have time to get on the phone and, and things like that. But during your one-on-one, you do feel more connected. And then you do interact with other people, strangers differently, because you don't feel like you're alone, and you're in your own head with your own story of, that's not always great. So I also feel like I'm definitely going, I'm pretty solid on my morning routines, but sometimes let things slide and I can feel like oh, shouldn't do that, because it's not gonna help me stay trusting myself. So thank you for that. All right, we'll take a brief break, we're gonna find out how people can find you, follow you, work with you. Lesley Logan 33:32  All right, where can people find you, follow you, work with you?Greg Tomchick 33:35  Yeah, I'm very active on LinkedIn. Greg Tomchick. Instagram is one of our top platforms for video and things of that nature that we're putting out. Website is valor-cybersecurity.com. I have my own personal website, GregTomchick.com. We'd love to hear from people, you know, on the journey they're going through, maybe something that they're battling with, love to answer questions and engage with the community. A lot of the things we put out on Instagram videos is answering questions that we get commonly. So you know, one of my core pillars is connection, as I mentioned, multiple times. So definitely reach out, connect and ask me any questions you may have. Lesley Logan 34:14  Yeah, it's one of our core pillars at our company, too. So it's probably why we ended up in several groups together. All right, you've given us a lot, but just in case people need more or a summed up or an action step that they can take after hearing this. What do you have for us—bold, executable, intrinsic, or targeted steps people can take to be it till they see it? Greg Tomchick 34:33  Yeah, yeah, it's a great question. I think for me, the hardest thing that I did that was bold was to set my own standards. And I basically, you know, took a piece of paper, wrote one to five and said, you know, what is the standard that I need to have to attract the right person? And you know, that was transparency. It was that compassion. So people that were inquisitive about, you know, what I was going through, and I basically just listed out all my standards and every time I meet somebody, I just go through those five of like, hey, here's your 'Greg is.' Is that someone you're interested in getting to know? So that was bold for me because I was a, you know, kind of a shy young kid. My parents were both military. So they never talked about emotions. So the fact that I'm able to help other people do this, but I do it myself, really just have five things that are really important to me, from a standard standpoint of what I know will build a good relationship with somebody like Greg, you know, I just basically state those out there. And I think when you're clear on that, you start to either weed people out that aren't good for you, or you attract the right people who are going to help improve you. I always say, I'm going out into the world with a ship that I built, I want people to enhance that ship, not tear down half of it and have to rebuild it later. So it's a good way to both connect with yourself to understand what you think's important. And that builds trust internally. And then to bring that to other people, and really be bold and state that as a prerequisite to having a relationship with you. It allows you to really, you know, in my opinion, live your best life and have the rhythm you need of fulfillment and some of the other words people say with success and things of that nature. But I'm really focused these days on, you know, building more joy, building what I think of as more fulfillment, and having those bold actions of just knowing my standards and really speaking them extremely clearly. I've been able to attract the people that I want around me and it's done really wonders for my life as a person.Lesley Logan 36:39  I love that we've never had that. That's amazing. That's so great. Greg, you're awesome. This is wonderful. Thanks for being on the show. Guys, how are you going to use the tips in your life? We want you to tag the Be It Pod, tag Greg, let us know and share this with a friend who needs to hear it especially one who has been maybe not as trusting of others or feeling like a little bit lost, anyone you think could benefit from what Greg has shared with you today. Thank you so much. And until next time, Be It Till You See It. Lesley Logan 37:07  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Lesley Logan 37:35  Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod. Brad Crowell 37:50  It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell. Lesley Logan 37:55  It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co. Brad Crowell 37:59  Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi. Lesley Logan 38:06  Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals. Brad Crowell 38:09  Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time. Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/be-it-till-you-see-it/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Dive deep into the importance of integrative and preventive healthcare with Michele, CEO and co-founder of FemGevity. They tackled systematic barriers to women's health and how the healthcare system often overlooks these needs—particularly in perimenopause and menopause care. Learn actionable tips on balancing hormones, comprehensive health testing, and integrative solutions that can help you live your longest, most vibrant life yet. Tune in to take charge of your health today with confidence and clarity.If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co. And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.In this episode you will learn about:The necessity of an integrative approach to women's healthcare.FemGevity as an accessible service prioritizing women's health. The importance of comprehensive hormone and microbiome testing.Failures of symptom-based treatments, especially in menopause care.Systematic barriers and the need for innovative healthcare solutions.Why women need community and safe space to discuss vulnerabilities.Episode References/Links:FemGevity InstagramFemGevityFemGevity TIkTokFemGevity LinkedInEve by Cat BohannonGuest Bio:Michele has expertly crafted her career niche within the healthcare sector, accumulating over 18 years as a strategic healthcare executive. Armed with an MBA in Healthcare Management from Northeastern University, Michele excels in aligning women's healthcare services with contemporary needs and expectations. Her contributions have been nothing short of revolutionary, particularly in introducing innovative women's health testing to New York City's leading physicians. Her focus spans molecular genetics, cancer biomarkers, and PCR Testing, making a significant impact in the medical community. Michele's professional journey has seen her in influential roles within Fortune 500 companies like Labcorp and Quest, but her prowess shines brightest in her role in smaller, specialized laboratories. Notably, she achieved remarkable success in expanding her client portfolio to an impressive $40 million in New York City. Michele's leadership extends beyond diagnostics and into innovation. She spearheaded the implementation of the first saliva-based COVID-19 PCR test in the New York Metro area, demonstrating her pioneering spirit. Her entrepreneurial flair is further evidenced by her role as the co-founder and CEO of FLOW Dental, a thriving multimillion-dollar cosmetic dental practice. This multifaceted career showcases Michele's unique blend of strategic vision and entrepreneurial acumen.  If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. DEALS! Check out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper's Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox Be in the know with all the workshops at OPCBe It Till You See It Podcast SurveyBe a part of Lesley's Pilates MentorshipFREE Ditching Busy Webinar  Resources:Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!Lesley Logan websiteBe It Till You See It PodcastOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley LoganOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTubeProfitable Pilates Follow Us on Social Media:InstagramFacebookLinkedIn  Episode Transcript:Michele Wispelwey 0:00  You have three options in mind, you need to either accept it, change it, or leave it. And you need to pick your path. And whatever that situation may be, whether it's a fight with a partner, how you feel about your body, if you're having health issues, you have those three distinct options in life. And be very clear which one you choose, accept it, change it, or leave it. I think you change it.Lesley Logan 0:29  Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.  Oh my gosh, you guys get ready. This conversation went everywhere, everywhere, ladies, in all the best ways. And to be honest, like, I knew I wanted to have her on the show. But then we got into talking and I was like, oh, we're gonna have a conversation. So we get down and dirty ladies about women's health and holistic health and signs and symptoms that people are getting confused and what doctors are doing and just all about, well just you know how to have ease in existence, right? Like everyone talks about find your purpose, but like sometimes you can know your purpose and it's not easy. And ease of existence can comes from like having really awesome balanced health and wellness. And so Michele Wispelway of FemGevity is our guest today. Get ready, ladies, this is a good one. So here we go. All right, Be It babe. I'm super excited to finally get this interview going because I was so excited when I met Michele Wispelway, our guest today, to talk about what she's just excited to talk with you about. And then you know my life. We all got a little bit busy. And so what's so fun about it happening today is this is the exact day that you should be hearing it. It's the exact day we should be talking about it. So Michele, will you tell everyone who you are and what you rock at? Michele Wispelwey 2:22  Yes. Hi, everyone. I am Michele Wispelway. I am CEO and co founder of FemGevity Health. We are a female longevity medicine and focusing on menopause and perimenopause treatments. I'm also a mom. I'm an aunt, I'm also I'm a sister. I'm lots of other things. But you know, my sole purpose here today is that, CEO of FemGevity. Lesley Logan 2:45  Okay, so that is really cool. Our ears are all perked up at female longevity and all the things. So I guess how did you get into that? Because I don't know, maybe you grew up going I'm going to be in medicine with female longevity, or I don't know, did you stumble upon it? What was the impetus to it?Michele Wispelwey 3:03  Yeah, so I, my background was always, I guess from if you want to kind of go back to just college years, right? And what I want to do, and I really wanted to be on the science back end of like diagnostics, and I love the innovation in medicine, and being able to work with doctors to collaborate different type of treatment plans on how their patients live healthier. And that was, really quickly, I learned that that just wasn't the reality of our healthcare system. It was driven by a payer system. And and there's very limited on what women are offered opportunity wise, especially if you are not, you know, top of the echelon of the income be able to pay out of pocket. And through my journey of with my lab background, I really got to see and dig in deeper on like, what I wanted for myself, and what I think other women would want for themselves. So that's what really long story short led led me here. And I also have a very personal journey where my mom actually was really gaslit for many years on what, she had symptoms, what she was told that were just menopause really, actually they call it go and you're just going through your changes.Lesley Logan 4:23  I do recall my grandma was going through her changes. Michele Wispelwey 4:27  Yeah, isn't that so tacky? You know, it's like when men said oh, she's on the rag. It's like that type of crap.Lesley Logan 4:34  Yeah, it is that type of crap. It's just like, can we just call it what it is? It has a name. Michele Wispelwey 4:39  Yeah, yeah. So my mom actually passed away at 51. Lesley Logan 4:44  Oh, my gosh that's so young. Michele Wispelwey 4:45  Yeah, yeah. She was misdiagnosed for years. And she had a lot of spotting and what appeared that it was her changes and fibroids and that is exactly where we still are today with a lot of doctors, majority of doctors, you know, 80% of them have no training on hormones and perimenopause and menopause and just how it affects women's longevity, ovarian preservation, metabolic, you know, cancer prevention, things like that. So I have a few, you know, caveats that have brought me to where I am today. And I think as a little girl, I was always very, I guess you would say neurotic, where I was always like, nervous and like health conscious and, and stuff about like germs. You know, like, I peed my pants all the time in kindergarten, because I never wanted to sit on the toilet because I didn't want to get germs and probably I'm probably diving into like psychological issues that we don't need to do right now. But my point is, I was very big into health and staying healthy and looking for ways to go down that route. So I think it's always inherently been in me. And just has driven me to here today,Lesley Logan 6:00  Okay, this is, okay, thank you for sharing that. Because yes, I'm, right now, like.Michele Wispelwey 6:04  Just being honest. Lesley Logan 6:05  I love it. Because I know I can already picture some of our listeners, I won't say their names who are, probably, doing the same thing. I'm so sorry to hear about your mom. I have many female family members who were misdiagnosed or just kinda pushed the wayside until it was too bad until it was too late. People just dismissing the symptoms as being oh, you know, like my grandmother, oh, she's just taking too many of her pain meds and she actually had more pain meds leftover than she should every month. So like, that can't be. That's, that's not how math works. So you know, and I, and I don't know that if, she did die of brain cancer. I don't know that finding out sooner would have done anything different for her type. But like also, I think she would have spent the last few months of her life feeling like she was a crazy person. You know, being you know, (inaudible) like, I do think that there's some interesting things I'm currently, I'm sure you've heard the book, Michele, but I'm currently reading the book Eve, the history. Michele Wispelwey 7:01  Oh my God, so am I. It's so good. Did you get to the section yet that men have nipples? (Inaudible) Lesley Logan 7:09  Every man I meet I'm like, you need to read this book, you're gonna learn that you can breastfeed. And so there are no such thing as gender roles, in my opinion. Also like that there has men currently breastfeeding on the planet.Michele Wispelwey 7:23  There is, there was a wave of Homosapiens that they took turns where the woman would breastfeed or if she would go out to gather and hunt and he would nurse. So, it's amazing. And men, if you're listening, you can lactate stuff. We can, we can help you. Lesley Logan 7:39  We can help you. And also apparently, if you got rid of your balls, you could live a longer life. Just another. Michele Wispelwey 7:45  Yes. Lesley Logan 7:47  The first chapter had me like going, oh my gosh, I was like Brad, you have to, every person we meet, like, you must read it. Every pregnant woman I mean, like, hold on, you need to understand there's a first and very important thing is the first few chapters go listen.Michele Wispelwey 8:01  It was amazing. It's a great book. I actually bought it for my co-founder Kristin and I sent it to her last week and she's super excited to read it. We were just talking about the nipple thing today. Lesley Logan 8:09  Yeah, it's so it's so fascinating. If if Cat Bohannon is listening, I would love to have you on the pod. Anyways, I but I loved it because she's doing this like thorough look. And as you mentioned, like you got into this medicine thinking like you could collaborate, and it's just not what happens. Those of you who live in other countries, maybe it's different for you. But if you're currently living in like a system that is like the U.S. it is non-collaborative, you are going to different silo doctors and you're trying to figure out the wrong with you and everyone is kind of trying to give you a pill to cover up symptoms. It is how I feel about it. And I'm not against medicine. I'm not against science, guys, I'm not, so don't put me in that category. But I get really frustrated because I had a massive health issue for 10 years I got exacerbated because no one would actually like work together like no one was actually understand me and like I said, I'm not sleeping very well anymore. And these things it was just terrible. What happened is I had definitely had some stomach issues and I stopped absorbing nutrition. And then I stopped going through sleep cycles, which means I stopped producing stomach acid, which means it's no longer absorbing nutrition and of course you're not sleeping. Michele Wispelwey 9:21  Did you have H. Pylori? Lesley Logan 9:23  No. We did have that. I had that for a little bit then I don't know how long ago that was. But I do remember that one. But yeah, I just like literally finally got someone to listen to me to do a full, full test. Just a full one. Of course this is where money, you have to have money to do this. So was a celebrity in the U.S. in LA., I heard what, who, he used to like gain weight to look like he had done like steroids but not take steroids and I was like who are you doing this with? And he told me about this guy, I was like, I'm gonna go to this guy and this guy looked at my blood and he goes hold on. You have no stomach acid, you're like, no, what is going on? I had no testosterone at that point. Yes, I had that. I mean like, just like I had a ton of (inaudible) there is a metal in my system, it was a whole mess. And I was like, this probably didn't start off this way. But it's gotten to this point because I could not get anyone to actually do an actual panel. And he's like, you don't have any vitamin D? Like you, you know, and I was like, I don't know how it's possible. I'm driving around in a jeep with the top off. I don't understand. So, you know, it took someone like that for me to get to someone who's probably similar to you, who helped me like more holistically and with (inaudible), but to look at the whole picture. So if people are feeling a little bit gaslit, or feeling like a little bit like they're going crazy, what should they be looking for in the medical system? Or how do they find someone like you? Michele Wispelwey 10:40  Yeah, so everything you said is exactly what we do. So what makes us so different is that we take a full integrative approach, we actually take a longevity medicine approach, because a woman's body at a cellular level is all these interconnected systems, the gut talks to your hormone levels, your estrogen affects your cardiovascular system, your gut affects cognitive, your skin, how you absorb nutrients. And I'll tell you a story about me and that situation too. But you need to look for doctors that aren't just spot treating, that aren't treating you just on your symptoms. And that's the problem. And that's the problem with the US health system is that we treat on sick, we don't, we're reactive, we're not preventive. So you need to find a provider, a GYN that is going to, oh you're tired and fatigued, don't just be like oh, well, let's just do a CBC and a thyroid, let's see what else is going on. Because if your gut is going on, you have acid, you have dysbiosis, you're not going to sleep, you're not going to absorb nutrients, you can have like GERD, a lot of different things, you're, a drop in estrogen is going to affect your cholesterol level. So a lot of women end up going to the cardiologist because they're you know, their LDL is through the roof, or they have (inaudible) issues. And that's actually interconnected with your whole hormonal system. It's all a web, it's not this or that it's the whole complex picture together. And if your doctor doesn't do that, then you need to go because this is like, these are the patients that we see everyday that come to us. And like I've seen this doctor, because, you know, I, you know, I've been to my internist. And then she doesn't know what to do. I've been to my GYN and he said, oh, you just have to wait this out. I've been to my cardiologist because I thought I was having, you know, a heart attack because I had a stiff shoulder. But that's one of the menopause symptoms. So, and that's what we do. We test, we do a full comprehensive hormone (inaudible), we do your gut microbiome, your micronutrient level, and even your food allergy levels to see what type of inflammatory markers your body's reactive to with foods. Because if you're fixing your gut, you kind of need to fix what's causing your inflammation from your food first, before you go in and fix your gut. Because that's just gonna cause your gut to just inflame even more or just fire up or not absorb the nutrients and things like that.Lesley Logan 13:00  Yeah, I definitely, I definitely learned that with the stomach, like if you just start to like, take different things for the stomach. The way that the stomach microbiome works, and you can correct me if I'm wrong, it's like what you're eating, you kind of start to crave more of, because that's what your microbiome is actually eating off of. And so if you're used to eating inflammatory foods, you've got a microbiome that's dealing with all of that, and you just go and put medicine on that if you can change the food intake, you get more organisms down there that can help with the situation. Is that right? Michele Wispelwey 13:28  Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's, that's definitely along the lines. And you definitely want you know, things like oregano oil, and a lot of probiotics, Akkermensia, we, I do a lot of things, things like that. But the thing is, and that's the thing with like, personalized medicine is what we are at FemGevity's, I can say, oh, yeah, you should take that. But you shouldn't be taking anything until you have testing to see what your body needs, right? So I could be like, take this oregano oil and take this probiotic and take Akkermensia. Yeah. But if, your your body may not need it, right, you know, you go to your internist and they'll say, take your vitamin D and a multivitamin and omega, well, how do you know what I should be taking? You know, like, you don't know what I'm missing. Lesley Logan 14:13  Right. And also, if your stomach isn't absorbing nutrition, is it getting (inaudible)?Michele Wispelwey 14:20  Flushing it out. You know what's interesting, I was at the pediatrician with my daughter yesterday, she had (inaudible) and she had this like this whatever a gland or not, whatever it is, we're following it and I because I have access to this testing. So my daughter's like, you know, very tired and kind of cranky and stuff like that. So I did a full micronutrient panel on her and she's gonna be a lab bench. Her CoQ10 is low, her vitamin C is low, her zinc is low, and her omega is low. And I'm like, this is why my child is cranky and she's tired and her stomach hurts. But and I just tested the pediatrician yesterday. I said, oh, what do you think we, she's really tired. What do you think we should do? What do you think? She's like well, her CBC and thyroid were fine last year. And she's, she's hormonal, so she's okay. And I'm like, that's exactly why you need a full integrative doctor because I'm listening to her, my child is gonna still continue on this this endless route of feeling worse. Lesley Logan 15:22  Yeah. Also a year ago, my dentist won't let me go more than a year without checking my teeth with an X-ray. Do you know what I mean? I'm like, is this really necessary? Like, well, it's been a year, and I'm like, okay, like, it's my teeth. Like your blood tests, especially on a young child. I think it's amazing that you, I mean good for you. and also like your daughter, so lucky. But it's so interesting, because now it makes me think like, a lot of our people who are listening are parents and like, your child might be cranky, not because they haven't slept enough, but maybe like something is off.Michele Wispelwey 15:54  It's vitamin and she, actually I, then I also did a one step further, I did a gut microbiome and tested her poop. And she had H. Pylori. And that's why her stomach was hurting. So that's why it's like you can't, you know, I have my own theories on uncertain things. But that's why I always need to take it that way, five steps further.Lesley Logan 16:15  When I lived in LA, it felt like so accessible to find someone like you. And now I live in Las Vegas, and I'm sure it exists. I haven't looked because luckily, I can just go to L.A. and see my person but like, but like, but also, can people access someone like you and live in a different part of the country? Like is what you do accessible in a mail order sort of thing? Like, yeah.Michele Wispelwey 16:42  Yeah. Which is great. And I should have mentioned that we are virtual healthcare. Totally telemedicine, convenience of your home. And that's how we're able to keep the costs down. And because we're not a brick-and-mortar, we don't have all this crazy overhead. And we're able to offer this type of concierge care and precision medicine to women all over the country. Lesley Logan 17:02  That's so cool. That is, okay, so that's amazing. So you can telemedicine, people all over the country can access you. And so let's say they do have someone that they trust, or they they want to test their own doctors, like they're not, they're not ready for telemedicine are they testing the doctors to just because I had a doctor that I totally tested. And I got really mad at her. And then I got an email or letter that said she's out of network now, I'm like, thanks, I didn't want to see her anyways. She, I was like, I want to get these things tested on my hormones. And she said, oh, you can't test those they change all day long. And I was (inaudible) and I was like, I'm, these test exists for a reason means you can and if you know how to read them based on where I'm at my cycle, and I do know where I am my cycle, you should know. And she was like, well, I could order it. But it's it's not gonna say anything. And I was like, it's not your money. And I don't want you to have the results. So no, but like, what should people be asking their doctors to see if the doctor they have is someone that they can trust or work with? Who is going to do the whole thing?Michele Wispelwey 18:06  Yeah, so a couple things, I would get all your hormones, progesterone, estrogen, make sure they're looking at your cortisol, your insulin levels, make sure they're looking at your lipids, make sure you look into your DHEA ,your HMH because you want to actually check your ovarian aging levels. If they have access to it, I would order a lot of like heavy metals. See the magnesium, mercury, you do a lot of amino acids and antioxidant testing. Glutathione testing is really good. We're big advocates of testing for that. If gut microbiome testing and make sure they're doing H. Pylori, if you really have to test from the stool, doing bloods is just, for H. Pylori purposes, it's just not because it lives in your intestinal tract and stuff like that. Food allergy testing, but just there's specific labs that do PCR DNA sequencing, too. So you also have to ask them, like, what labs are you using? What's the methodology and I know that's like, not something everyone wants to go into. But at the very least, have them do a very full comprehensive hormone asset, your thyroid your FSH, your LH, prolactin, estradiol, do it all.Lesley Logan 19:16  Wow. Okay, so everyone, don't worry, the show is transcribed, it's on the blog, and you can copy and paste. Michele Wispelwey 19:23  We have a lot of information on our website and blogs. My co-founder does a ton of like, videos where she talks about things a lot hormonal-wise because she does a lot of our medical protocols. And you know, yeah, so that you could find that all there not to be wary but and also women in their 30s, you should be getting your levels tested because you want a baseline, you want to know what you are now. So when you're like in your 40s and your levels are this you could compare them to what they were because even if you're like feeling am I feeling good, am I feeling not? You know you're like able to guide yourself very closely and almost like preventing yourself from symptoms and being able to live symptom-free before it hits.Lesley Logan 20:07  Yeah. And I actually want to chat about that because like one of my girlfriends, you know, she, she's going through the changes. Oh my God, I was going to say, no, so she's you know, she's 10 years older than me and she, you know, was assuming she is premenopausal and was just all these different things were happening. And she was also slowly over time and I was like, I think you might want to just talk with your doctor about like, really, truly like looking into why are you so tired all the time? Why are you having these aches and pains? Why is your hip bothering you? Like you have this? It's, you're, it's not because you're 50. It's not just because you're 50. Right? Like, if you're gonna live to 80, this is early, it's too early to go through all these pain points. So she finally, like really sought something out, like went for it. And then they gave her some hormones because her hormones were off. And she's like, holy moly, Lesley. I was so, like, I feel like I am unstoppable. And I was like, for years, she's been slowly over time managing it, in air quotes, managing it. And I think that we are trained from, I don't know, just society that like, it's, we'll just manage it, we'll just figure it out. We'll just do it later. And like, it's actually okay to demand that you feel really good all the time, especially if you're doing all the things if you're moving your body, if you're trying to sleep, if you're, if you're like trying to drink the clean water, like all the things like you should ideally feel good.Michele Wispelwey 21:34  Yeah, it's been very just highly accepted and overrated, that you just have to kind of deal with it. And it's a part of aging, and you're supposed to be tired, or you're supposed to have an ache or pain. That is not supposed to be how you're supposed to feel. I'm 43 and I feel better now than when I felt in my 30s. And, you know, I actually have more energy, because you're just more aware of how you're supposed to take care of yourself. So, you know, imagine if, like, younger women start understanding how they're supposed to feel and start feeling even more energetic in their 30s. And as you build up and progress, you're just gonna keep feeling better. And, you know, be able to get up from the floor when you're 75 and play with your grandkids.Lesley Logan 22:18  Yeah, and have the energy too, it's not just the strength too, but also all of the things that go with it. Okay, you mentioned something that like piqued my interest. You said someone had a shoulder issue and they were there so and it was perimenopausal, not a heart attack, or whatever. Are there any other symptoms like that that we should be aware of that like we may be perimenopausal but we might think are something else because I or maybe I've just opened up a can of worms because I feel like a like perimenopause. Unfortunately, menopause has not been studied nearly enough. I got really pissed off, did you hear this? There was a daily episode, probably six months ago, where this one scientist was trying to get research money for menopause. And the way he was able to get actual funding from people for his testing that he wanted to do was just to turn the title to like, well, if women stopped turning into men, then their husbands would want them longer. So if we can keep them women longer, and that's how he got the funding, and I was so irritated that that's how money, I was like, (inaudible) you should have been studying this already. So disgusting. So infuriating. He got money for it. And so yay. But also like, unfortunately, we haven't studied this long enough. And so we don't know enough everything I've ever been told that you just have hot flashes, and that you gain weight. But like you just mentioned a (inaudible) I've never heard of before. So like, what are some of those things that might people might be putting off that could actually have to do with like a hormone change happening?Michele Wispelwey 23:49  Yeah, so stiff shoulder like frozen shoulder, itchy ears, a ringing in the ear. Some women become like, like kind of like vertigo, off balanced. There's, I mean, there's 100 plus symptoms (inaudible). Lesley Logan 24:03  That's crazy. Just the ones you listed are like I was like, oh, I trip a lot.Michele Wispelwey 24:09  Yeah. You know, you're and you're like, do I have a brain tumors? You know, like there's some very serious symptoms. You know, women have like weird just like pains that you know, you start pulling things easier just because you have a higher likelihood for bone fractures and osteoporosis. So there's much easier breakage and there's a lot of a lot of women end up like having like a slipped disc or like, you know, like a joint pain or pull like a something in their shoulder. And you hear if you list start paying attention and listening like more women in the 40s 50s and 60s will be like, oh, I went to the chiropractor or the acupuncture, my back's acting up again and you ask them well, what did you do through perimenopause, especially if it's a woman who was in her 60s, I bet you she didn't do anything when she was going through perimenopause and menopause, and now it's catching up to her big time.Lesley Logan 25:03  Oh, okay, so this is interesting, okay, so (inaudible). Michele Wispelwey 25:05  Especially (inaudible) and testosterone is like maintaining your levels of testosterone is huge for women, your body composition is made up of much more testosterone than it is of any other hormone. We just have a smaller formula of it in our body, formula, composition of it. Lesley Logan 25:23  Yeah, that's what, that's the one that like, I'm really, really honest with everyone listening, I have been trying for years to maintain that level. I mean, I lift the heavy weights, I'm now, I'd take a CJC, which is not really for testosterone, but like, it's supposed to help me just feel good. But like, I cannot keep that level up to a number that is anything better than below average. And I'm like, do I just need to actually take testosterone and I'm like, Oh, my God, my grandmother had a beard. So like, I haven't gone down that rabbit hole. (inaudible)Michele Wispelwey 25:53  I mean, unless you're like rubbing it on your, on your, on your (inaudible) and you want a beard, then, you now, hell go for it, whatever, it's 2024. But, you know, you know, I, listen, I'm not the medical provider and the clinician, but there's could be a lot of things for you. Like, who knows what your progesterone level is? I don't know if you're on a Mirena IUD that's causing progestin, and you're getting over an estrogen dominance and and stripping your testosterone so there's like a lot of different things. I think you're probably younger than me. So these are all these factors that are like fully integrated and like a lot of physicians don't understand it, and they don't think about it so if you can't maintain your testosterone levels, there's there's a reason why it just does not because just because like you know you yeah, so just like think about those things they're interesting. Lesley Logan 26:40  I also just I want to just highlight something you're you've done you guys often listen to this every time something has come up she has mentioned that there's more than like, it's not just like this or this. Like there's this and then also there's a few other things that this could be going on. And I think that's so important. You're, anytime we're with a medical provider, they, there needs to be a holistic look at things because otherwise they're putting a bandaid on something or they can make something worse because it's totally off like they could be training you for a heart attack. And (inaudible) did you (inaudible) did you read Halle Berry's doctor mistook her perimenopause for like gonorrhea like a bad case of gonorrhea? (inaudible)Michele Wispelwey 27:25  Imagine, I mean, the poor woman, she probably has such vaginal dryness and like, you know, God only knows what's cool because there's a lot of stuff goes on down there. You know, you lose your atrophy and your collagen in there and it starts thinning out and then you know why? You know why she probably thought that? Because she probably had persistent UTIs because women when they're they start losing their testosterone, they got a lot of vaginal dryness and a lot of reoccurring. UTIs. So he she probably he'd probably get them tested for STDs. And if only he would have given her some bioidentical estrogen, your vagina would have felt a lot better. And the poor thing wouldn't have been accused of gonorrhea. I'm from like, the the lab world, right? So like, doctor's order, you know, urine cultures constantly. Any woman's like, you know, oh, I have a pain or have an itch or something. They're like, oh, do you have a UTI? Or is it (inaudible)? You know, they don't think that like, oh, maybe you have some hormonal thing going on. They don't even test your hormones. Like at your annuals, they don't look at anything. It's not even a part of like the health insurance. You have to do. It's preventative codes. The only thing is preventative is a PAP, not even HPV. That's like considered diagnostics. It's like, it's absurd.Lesley Logan 28:37  (Inaudible) I know, I am too. I'm really excited that this conversation like so okay, because this will just like horrify you. So when I had been (inaudible) on birth control in high school, I went on the patch because I was like, yeah, I'll put this on because I don't have to do a pill at the same time every day. (Inaudible) a badge, it was like you can put it on your arm or on your hip or whatever. Of course, you guys, you guys. I can't wear a BandAid, okay, not longer than a day, I just switched the BandAid out. So of course, like, every time I took this patch off, I had like a red square, super sexy, like everybody wants to be near that. And so I gotta keep moving the patch around. Anyways, I guess like it was but I was like, no, I don't want to be on the pill because I'm gonna have to remember to take anything and we're supposed like low hormone, the whole thing like you won't get a blood clot because it's like, it's like, easy the way that all the things I was told, right? So fast forward two years and I'm in a car accident. I'm on bed rest for a week. I get off bedrest and my leg is super swollen and it's getting hot. And I am it's I'm at work and it's now throbbing. And so I go to an urgent care and I was like, I think I have a blood clot. And he's like, no one was like, I can't sleep because I'm in so much pain. And I watched an infomercial on a blood clot. I think I have one. I have all the symptoms and the guy's like you're too young for blood clot. Kid you're not too young for blood clots, ice and elevate your leg. You were in a car accident a week ago. It's swollen from that. I was like this person doesn't, is not listening to me. And the worst thing I can do is elevate this leg. So I went to work because I had to go back and I, you know, unfortunately, had to pay my own bills. So go to work and it's now getting bigger you guys, like my leg was like twice the size (inaudible). It was I felt maybe it wasn't that big, but it felt that big. So I then went to the emergency room. And I walk in, and I'm like, well limping in because I can barely walk my like, and the nurse goes, oh my god, I think you have a blood clot. And I was like, thank you. I think so too. So sure enough I have a blood clot, (inaudible) and the hospital, I was pulled off of birth control, not by my gynecologist from then, but from a different one who looked at my history and just like, oh, she's like, I think you might be susceptible to clotting based on your family's history. You should not be on these hormones. And so I got on the copper IUD, which of course made my periods the worst thing in the world forever, for fucking ever. So, but anyways, I don't have children. And at the time, I was single. So here we are. So have this copper IUD. And aside from the bad periods, no problems whatsoever, it was pretty easy. Everything was like on time, go to get it removed. And I'd moved. And no one could find it. And they saw I'm at Planned Parenthood, they can't find it. They're like, I'm like, well, it's in there. I'm telling you right now it's there, I know, it's there. I can feel it's there. Right? So you got to like so sure enough, I got my insurance to cover a visit with a gynecologist. And she finds it with what an ultrasound a sonogram, whichever the one is. And it's like in the, I guess it's like in the uterus, and it was like off to the side and turned around. So this, this, the strings were facing the wrong way. So they had to go in with a camera. And this is, will piss you off, even though she could find it that day, my insurance would not let her remove it that day. I had to come back for another visit, to have it removed. And I was and she was like I would do it. But I'm like, can't you just like say I came back another day. Like, I'll just, I'll sign I swear. So anyways, I had that removed, it's now been out for almost two years, best thing I ever did is like have nothing. It's like I'm I'm so cyclical, it's I'm on time, all the time. It's amazing. But it's just the comedy of errors. Like what I would, it's a lot. So you know, I share all that with you. Because like, ladies, if you're listening, it's you're not the only one, even if you are advocating for yourself. And even if you're trying to educate yourself, it can be really difficult to navigate the medical system to get help for yourself. Michele Wispelwey 32:41  It really is, especially the payer system. And it's more difficult now, because a lot of independent physicians are being bought by hospital systems and peer networks because they can't afford to stay in business because, you know, the inflation, right, it's the cost to operate. But the reimbursements are going down. And there's only so many, you know, insurances that you can go to network with. So you're just being it just intertwined or being more caught up in the system. And that's why, you know, we're so adamant on, you know, doing what we do, and so passionate about it, because, you know, being in the lab industry, and Kristin had her own practice for many, many, many years. We know what the payer system is and prevents from women living longer, healthier lives, it just doesn't allow it. So there needs to be companies like FemGevity and, and others to be able to provide these opportunities to live longer and healthier and vibrant and build like an ecosystem and community support where women could be like, vulnerable and talk to each other about these things. Because it's embarrassing, you know, not everyone like where's everything on their sleeve? You know, so. Lesley Logan 33:48  Yeah, I have some girl friends who are like, they're like, I know, I talked about perimenopause all the time, like you should. I don't know anything about it. No one in my life talked about it. So they talked about it after it's over. So I would like I think it's important that we hear these things. I want to go into something so before because like, you've given us so much, but I feel like you are providing something to be unique and to be this different. And to get into the world. You're trying to get through all around all the different obstacles, and there's just all these different things that would probably keep FemGevity from working. How do you have that kind of resilience? How do you stay in line with your purpose? Like, what is it that you practice every day? Because it's, it can't be easy to have this vision and this idea and know what you can do to change women's lives and also know how hard it is for them to get to you.Michele Wispelwey 34:29  Yeah, so, you know, I think the biggest part of me is, you know, I've been through a lot and I'm not afraid of failure and you can't take risks and you can't grow as a person if you're afraid to fail. And, and that's, you know, failure really brings success and it brings it brings a system and you know a person who has been like kind of knocked out of phase his resilience is really like the strongest factor that contributes to a survive level of a system and possibility to really reach your full potential. And I think what's helped me is to really live by like a system right and because it's like a structure and life is a bunch of like interconnected systems like we say with FemGevity right with finding healthcare and, and once you see that it's when harmony and energy truly evolve, and you get closer to your goals. And you really get to this like perpetual state where you get to this like paradox world of having deeper clarity of what you want and to achieve. And I just feel that you know, it, the purpose of it is to like, live with high energy, effortless existence, because at the end, end of the day, you have limited amount of capacity. And it drains, you know, drains you because it's like decision-making, stress, what you're eating, how you're sleeping, and having like an optimized system on how you go about life, the more you're going to get out of it. And there's going to be like, there's going to be dysfunction in life in general. And, like believing that, you know, just because you have dysfunction means it's not possible to be happy. And it just helps you to drive to like more essentialism and making it your own ecosystem. And like a better quality of life. Lesley Logan 36:24  Yeah, before we hit record you were talking about effortless existence, I will say like life can be so hard. And then as we've talked about all the different things that we could control with our health. If everything was imbalanced, I think it'd be so much easier to show up as an effort in effortless existence. I mean, I feel like if you have all these different hormones, but all your you know, happy hormones that are like actually leveled out, like, you probably it'd be probably be easier to show up and, and be in the world.Michele Wispelwey 36:51  Yeah, it's, you know, it's effortless. It's easier to deal with, like the obstacles because you get out of bed and you're hit with your kids or your work and an email and, and just like constant things that can really just like, just set you over the edge over the cliff, you know, where you want to, like, have a nervous breakdown. But if you're balancing your health, that's what's going to keep you on a straight, narrow road, where you're not going to be having huge spikes where it's going to make you want to drop down too far.Lesley Logan 37:19  Yeah, I can totally see how that works out. Because I do have a lot of people who are like, Lesley, I'm doing all the things, I've my dream schedule designed. And I'm like, I've got you know, I'm doing all the things for my business but like these things happen, and I just want to quit, I just want to give up and it's like, well, first of all, there's, as you mentioned, like, gotta get over, gotta get over the failure, can't be afraid of failure, you've got to do that. And I think especially when you're feeling exhausted and tired, you so a failure feels really hard. Michele Wispelwey 37:46  It is, I mean, it really isn't granted, like, you know, running a startup, there's a lot of failures. And you're like, oh my gosh, do I suck at life? Or is it just a bad day? But I'm like, no, I'm going to use this as an opportunity to learn and not make that decision again, you know, and, and it's hard to get in that mindset, especially when you're like, yeah, having a bad day.Lesley Logan 38:11  Yeah. So okay, I do, I may think being okay with failure is what resilience really is. It's like, how did you get good at? How did you get okay with failure? Is it because you practice medicine and medicine is really a practice? Or is it like, were you raised that way? Like, because I feel like so many people, our listeners are super perfectionist, it means, no failure is ever allowed. So how did you get good at being okay with failure?Michele Wispelwey 38:36  I think I once I learned to have confidence in myself, and to trust my own decisions. And, and I think I also started to become more balanced with being intentional and trusting my instincts. And I think once I grew into that, and you know, throughout my, like professional career, it was, it was hard, you had to, you know, grinding it out. It was a very male-dominated industry. And I second-guessed myself a lot. And a lot of those second guesses that I had, where I didn't listen to my gut, I made bad decisions. So I think I know that sounds ridiculous, but I got there from making my mistakes and getting back up. And I just kind of like no mercy I think is also like the way my my dad brought me up. He was very tough. He was, you know, like, if you was in the military and stuff like that. So I think it's the way I grew up and just grown up with like divorced parents and things like that. You're just mentally tough, you know, biking blood.Lesley Logan 39:45  But I think that like thanks for sharing that because I do think that so many people can see maybe they grew up with divorced parents like you or they had all the tough parents or all these things and they don't realize that they have this like superpower of resilience that they can be taking with them into things like you know.Michele Wispelwey 40:00  You know what, that's what it is. You have to find your superpower. And my superpower is resilience and to work under fire. And if you embrace your superpower, and your superpower can be like lying compulsively, who cares? That's your superpower and own it but find to use it in a good way not to like, you know, hurt people. But you know, like Superman. Lesley Logan 40:26  Yeah. Okay. I love that. Michelle, this has been so good, you are amazing. We're to take a brief break and we can find out where people can find you, work with you in FemGevity. All right, Michele, where can people find you and work with you?Michele Wispelwey 40:40  They could find us on femgevityhealth.com our social handle is @femgevity. We are on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, YouTube, and LinkedIn. And we have live text and chat on our website, too, if ladies have any questions.Lesley Logan 40:59  So good. Okay, you guys. Go check it out. I'm, I'm going to, I'm gonna get down. We're gonna figure out this testosterone thing. Michele Wispelwey 41:08  We're gonna figure it out. We're gonna figure it out for you.Lesley Logan 41:10  This is the year, this is the year I'm doing it. Okay (inaudible), but could you, could you, can you, can you understand why, why I've delayed it? Right? So long. I'm like, oh, I don't know, my grandmother had like a beard.Michele Wispelwey 41:23  We won't give you a beard. We'll just give you chest hair.Lesley Logan 41:28  Oh, my God. My grandmother was up there going are you, have you lost your mind? Anyways, okay, so you've given us so much already bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted steps people can take to be it till they see it, what do you have for us?Michele Wispelwey 41:44  Okay, you have three options in mind, you need to either accept it, change it, or leave it. And you need to pick your path. And whatever that situation may be, whether it's a fight with a partner, how you feel about your body. If you're having health issues, you have those three distinct options in life. And be very clear which one you choose, accept it, change it, or leave it? I think you change it.Lesley Logan 42:14  Yeah, oh, I love these because that can be everything that's coming up. And also, you can also say, I'm gonna leave it on until this date, and then I'm gonna change it.Michele Wispelwey 42:25  Yeah, those are like your, your rocks, you know, where we actually have company rocks where we set what, each quarter in the beginning of the quarter, we set our goals, personal and professional. And then we go back three, four months later and go and reevaluate them. So you can you can leave it now and change it in three months. But don't ever accept it. Like, your health and what doctors are telling you. Because there's always a way maybe no for now, but not no for later.Lesley Logan 42:58  Yeah. I love that. I love that. No accepting it when it comes to your health you guys. You guys can now reach out to Michelle and FemGevity because what you created for women is so cool. The fact that it can be telemedicine. I'm just so I'm so excited for everyone listening. All right, y'all. How are you going to use these tips in your life? Make sure you tag Michele, make sure you tag the Be It Pod, share this, okay, so here's my action plan for you. The only way women actually can get the help that they want is if they know what they need to ask for. Okay, so if doctors were hearing questions from their patients who actually were like I did the research here are the tests I want, the only way we can get them to change, or at least for you to know that that's not the doctor you need for it. We can I think that women are so powerful that if we rose up together and demanded that professionals take care of us holistically, it's the only way it's gonna change things until then, you can go see Michele. But so share this with your, with a friend who needs to hear it because you're not crazy. There's nothing. It's not, nothing wrong with you. They just haven't figured it out yet. And it's because you (inaudible) holistic look at it. So thank you all so much, Michelle, thank you so much for what you've done here. Michele Wispelwey 44:05  Thank you. It's been so amazing. Lesley Logan 44:06  Yeah, so awesome. All right, loves, until next time, Be It Till You See It. That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod. Brad Crowell 44:54  It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell. Lesley Logan 44:58  It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co. Brad Crowell 45:03  Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi. Lesley Logan 45:10  Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals. Brad Crowell 45:13  Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time. Transcribed by https://otter.aiSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/be-it-till-you-see-it/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Ready to transform your life? Lesley and Brad recap powerful takeaways from the interview with fitness professionals and motivational speakers Danny-J Johnson and Jill Coleman, co-hosts of The Best Life podcast. Learn how these inspiring women overcame personal hardships to empower others and discover actionable steps to heal past trauma, kill your ego, and become your best self. Plus, get expert tips on using Pilates flashcards in your practice. Tune in for an empowering and educational episode you won't want to miss!If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co. And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.In this episode you will learn about:How to take action, ownership, and responsibility in your life.Understanding why transformation is a slow, steady process.Jill Coleman's principle of making decisions as your future self.Insights into freeze responses and how to overcome them.Practical tips on letting go of the ego and embracing personal growth.Episode References/Links:Summer TourBalanced Body and ContrologyElevate Mentorship ProgramCambodia February 2025 RetreatFebruary 2025 RetreatMat FlashcardsEgo is the Enemy by Ryan HolidayThe Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark MansonIf Book Could Kill PodcastThe Best Life PodcastThe Best Life Podcast InstagramDanny-J Johnson InstagramJill Coleman WebsiteJill Coleman Instagram  If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. DEALS! Check out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper's Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox Be in the know with all the workshops at OPCBe It Till You See It Podcast SurveyBe a part of Lesley's Pilates MentorshipFREE Ditching Busy Webinar  Resources:Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!Lesley Logan websiteBe It Till You See It PodcastOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley LoganOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTubeProfitable Pilates Follow Us on Social Media:InstagramFacebookLinkedIn  Episode Transcript:Brad Crowell 0:00  When they made the decision I can control what I can do, that's what really gave them the power to move on with their own lives. And then, now, today, kick ass and take names. It's one of those moments when you're forced to realize that you can't control what other people think, say and do. That sucks. It's really, really probably a hard thing. But you're gonna be better for it.Lesley Logan 0:20  Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started. Lesley Logan 1:03  Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview recap where my co-host in life, Brad, and I are going to dig into the liberating convo I had with Danny-J Johnson and Jill Coleman. I think the J is for Johnson. Brad Crowell 1:14  J is for Johnson. So you just call her Danny-J. Danny-J and Jill Coleman.Lesley Logan 1:15  In our last episode, if you haven't yet listened to that interview, go back and listen to it. These women are badass as they're so fun and they're doing amazing things. And I just, I like, I love watching their stories all the time. So anyways, you can listen to that now or you can listen to this now and you can listen to that later, it's fine. You can do whatever order you want. If you're listening to it in the OPC app, which is free by the way, you can actually just see them lined up with each other, makes it super easy because I'm just gonna say a certain fruit phone does not make it easy to figure out which episode to listen to, in which order because it just automatically downloads the next one and you like are out of order sometimes.Brad Crowell 1:18  It's true. Lesley Logan 1:26  I'm just saying. Brad Crowell 1:54  That's true. That's happened. Lesley Logan 1:55  So today is June 27th 2024 and it's PTSD Awareness Day. About this day, on June 27 we talk about PTSD, a complex disorder caused by experiencing or witnessing trauma. The trauma necessary to cause PTSD can originate from many events — potentially an accident, combat, a natural disaster, or an assault — but there are other ways PTSD symptoms can arise. A trained professional must diagnose PTSD, based on symptoms like hypervigilance, mood swings, recurring and involuntary flashbacks to the trauma, and avoidance. The National Center for PTSD declared all of June to be PTSD Awareness month — you can help their campaign by educating yourself and others about the illness, and sharing help with those who might need it. Very important. We have been trying to get my dad some help for his PTSD, which he is like in denial that he has, and we're like, here are all how (inaudible)Brad Crowell 2:45  Here are all the symptoms that we're self-diagnosing you in but yeah, one of them is not sleeping, you know, and all like all sorts of different things like that (inaudible). PTSD is post-traumatic stress disorder. But this is actually something that has been reallyLesley Logan 3:01  But it's not just for people who've been in combat, you can have PTSD from from a car accident, like they said, or an assault or natural disaster. Brad Crowell 3:08  You can certainly have PTSD from those things as well. You know, any traumatic experience can create that, can create PTSD. The very first movie I ever acted in was about PTSD. Lesley Logan 3:21  Really? Brad Crowell 3:22  Yeah.Lesley Logan 3:22  That's interesting.Brad Crowell 3:23  Yeah. I was, I was working at a film school and one of the students who was a, becoming a director, did an entire movie about it, and he cast me in one of the parts. Lesley Logan 3:34  That's so, it's so cool. I had no idea you were ever in a movie. I know, a lot of first ones. So, there's others.Brad Crowell 3:41  So yeah, there were. One of my really close friends was in the military, multiple tours in the military. And then obviously, like you said, you know, Lesley, Lesley's dad. So, you know, lots of family and friends. Lesley Logan 3:55  Yeah, so I think like, it's really important to make sure that they have the help that they want, they might not be able, it's really easy. I find like my dad would say like, he didn't have as bad as other people. So he, so I think it's really easy for people to compare their own experiences to someone else's and, and make it smaller, like (inaudible). Yeah. So like, it's not PTSD, because, I can't have it because it wasn't as bad as this person, but you can have it. And I read this amazing book, what happened to you, which also explains like based on how you were raised as an infant, your resiliency levels, and it's possible that like, you might not have those tools from being so young, that you might have PTSD over on something that someone else who's sitting right next to you might not have had it on. So like it's so important to not belittle it or shame yourself, please get help or help someone in your life who has it, like find out the areas in you're in your communities that can help them. Brad Crowell 4:52  Yeah. Lesley Logan 4:53  All right. Brad Crowell 4:54  Coming up. Lesley Logan 4:54  Coming up. We're a little over a month away from leaving for our sixth tour, our Summer Tour powered by Balanced Body. We're so excited. Brad Crowell 5:03  That is crazy. Lesley Logan 5:04  I know. It's so, it's great. It's our sixth tour. It's our second Summer Tour. It's our third tour powered by Balanced Body and Contrology. And that allows us to do lots of, lots of cities we probably wouldn't be able to do and meet some incredible people. So we're doing 13 cities. Let's see. Here we go. Las Vegas, Salt Lake City, Denver, Lincoln, Nebraska, Minneapolis, Minnesota, Milwaukee, Chicago, Cleveland, Ohio, Dayton, Ohio, Indy, Kansas City.Brad Crowell 5:33  Kansas City.Lesley Logan 5:34  St. Louis, Colorado Springs. Brad Crowell 5:36  That's right. Lesley Logan 5:37  Way, I did a great job.Brad Crowell 5:38  Slayed it, slayed it. Lesley Logan 5:39  I slayed it. I do wonder if I got the St. Louis and Kansas City in the right order. Because but I just don't actually know. Brad Crowell 5:45  So actually, St. Louis, I thinkLesley Logan 5:46  Is first I don't really know (inaudible). You know, the middle of the map is confusing, like Nebraska is more North than I thought. So.Brad Crowell 5:46  Yeah. St. Louis is east of Kansas City. Lesley Logan 5:52  Okay, so then that definitely has a (inaudible). Go to opc.me/tour to get your tickets because it is selling really fast. And we are not hitting (inaudible) any of them. We're not hitting most, most of them again on the winter tour. And our summer tour will not be these cities. So. Brad Crowell 6:13  Actually, none of these will be on the winter tour. Lesley Logan 6:14  Oh, we're not doing St. Louis either. Are we doing Denver? Maybe.Brad Crowell 6:19  Man, that's debatable. Lesley Logan 6:21  That's debatable. Okay, so just know that it's possible. We won't hit any of these cities again, including Las Vegas. Who knows? Brad Crowell 6:27  That's true. Lesley Logan 6:28  Yeah. So OPC.me/tour to get your tickets. Yes, you can come to multiple events do not worry about like, oh, I want to make sure (inaudible), come to ones you want to come to. I mean, some of these are only two hours apart. So like come party with us, come home with the dogs. There's lots of fun prizes. elevate applications are probably open right now. And the reason I say probably is because at the time of recording we have not picked the dates but they open for two weeks. And I want to say it's now because I'm pretty sure the following week is when I'm doing the call. So let's just say they are open. You want to go to lesleylogan.co/elevate, it is my mentorship for Pilates instructors. So if you're not a Pilates instructor this is gibberish to you. If you are a Pilates instructor, this is a master's program, mentorship program, it allows us to spend nine months together really diving deep into the method and ditching the imposter syndrome, ditching the over talking, ditching the hours of prepping, and really helping you connect to your practice, connect to your teaching and also this method. So lesleylogan.co/elevate, I can only take 12 people per group. So just so you know, the next one would be 2026. Brad Crowell 7:28  Right.Lesley Logan 7:29  Yeah. So (inaudible)Brad Crowell 7:29  This enrollment would be for 2025 kicking off in January. So yeah, so don't sit on that one. Next up, we got Cambodia. February 2025. We are taking an amazing group of women with us so far. There may be aLesley Logan 7:30  A few good men.Brad Crowell 7:45  There may be a few good men coming with us too. But there are room for that. Lesley Logan 7:50  You can bring your partners. Brad Crowell 7:52  Yeah, we actually have a ticket specifically for the experience only for people who are like, hey, Pilates isn't my thing. But I want to go do the trip. Absolutely. Welcome to join us. Anyway, go to crowsnestretreats.com, crowsnestretreats.com. Lesley Logan 8:05  If you keep saying I'm going to the next one, I'm gonna go to the next one. Take this one, as we learned from Kel Cal. Brad Crowell 8:12  Yeah, that's right.Lesley Logan 8:13  Tomorrow doesn't exist, only today does. And so there are future trips don't exist yet. Just the ones we've got planned.Brad Crowell 8:19  That's true. That's true. Very, very true. Lesley Logan 8:21  Very unlikely. Brad Crowell 8:22  Why would you come to Cambodia with us? I'll tell you it is an experience of a lifetime. And I don't say that as like a, as like aLesley Logan 8:32  Every one of our retreaters has, like, I'm gonna come back like it's Brad Crowell 8:35  In fact, we've had multiple retreaters join us more than one time. It is just an incredible, incredible trip. The people are lovely. The environment is incredible. The jungles, the temples, I'm not even kidding you, it's The Jungle Book in real life. We literally get to walk around these incredible temples. You know, we're allowed to walk on them, around them, in them through them. It's, I, it's just mind-boggling. We get to eat incredible food. We practice Pilates, we build relationships and friends and fun. We get to go do a lotus farm we get to go like actually on a pond with all these amazing lotus and see the process (inaudible). There's so many incredible experiences in this trip. It is, I think of all the things that we do, what we do a lot, this is hands down my absolute favorite thing to do. And when we are retired someday, I will still do this. Lesley Logan 9:29  Yeah, yeah. No, it's true. It's part of the retirement plan. So crowsnestretreats.com, crowsnestretreats.com Brad Crowell 9:38  That's plural, crowsnestretreats.com. Lesley Logan 9:41  Yeah. All right. And lastly, in case you didn't know, all of this happens because of onlinepilatesclasses.com. And if you are not a member yet, we want to know why. But also we want you to try it out.Brad Crowell 9:53  Yeah, go join us. Lesley Logan 9:54  Yeah, it's OPC.me/40 it gives you a 40-day trial for only $1 a day. So 40 days for $40. And why are we doing 40 days? Because the reality is, is that like, it does take time to start something new. And it's not that it takes 40 days to (inaudible) happen in two days. But also like, we want you to experience two different monthly themes and multiple weekly classes and potentially join us for a live class and get feedback on your form and meet the community. So we want you to be able to have all the amazing experiences because we know that if you do that, you are an OPC life for like so many of our members. So OPC.me/40 for the best, most amazing community in the Pilates world. All right, before we get into Danny-J and Jill Coleman's episode, do we have an audience, a listener question, Mr. Brad?Brad Crowell 10:41  We sure do. Today, Tamara Gomez wrote in and she said she's hesitant to reach out with this question and really tried to figure it out on her own but for a 30-minute Pilates class how many cards would you pick out from your mat Pilates flashcard deck. I'm having a hard time designing the class around the amount of time that I choose. Lesley Logan 11:05  Yeah. So if you haven't yet gotten our mat flashcards, you should get them.Brad Crowell 11:09  Yeah, go to opc.me/flashcards. Lesley Logan 11:12  Yeah. So here's the thing. When Joseph Pilates created his mat work, if you did it on your own, and really, even if you're advanced, it takes you under 30 minutes to do all the cards. Brad Crowell 11:21  All of it. Lesley Logan 11:21  All of that. Brad Crowell 11:22  Yeah. That's gonna be two exercises in the official. Lesley Logan 11:24  I had someone reach out to me on YouTube going, can you create a 50-minute beginner workout on the Tower, Wunda Chair, a 50-minute on the reformer and 50-minute on the mat for beginners. I said, no, it's impossible. There's not even enough beginner exercises on each one, even if I combined them all together it wouldn't be 50 minutes. So like, no, without knowing the level of your class, I'm just going to assume they're all levels. So I'll have a class. So you probably will take out any of the overhead exercises, just be say, on the safe side. And so you'd be left with about 26-27 cards left, that actually could be 30-minute class right there. And if you just leave them in the order that they're in, it already has a set of action transition for you. So you don't have to do any work. You don't have to like reorder it at all. Now if you wanted to shuffle them, and like treat it like a tarot deck and see what comes next. You totally can there's nothing wrong with that. But I would say about 20 to 27 cards would be a 30-minute class without a problem. Brad Crowell 12:19  Yeah. And that's if you're not moving quick. Which was why I was laughing. Do you remember the year that we were at momentum fast and all the teachers were doing the close-out? Yeah, well, how many minutes? Did they give you? Five? Ten? Ten minutes. So and.Lesley Logan 12:33  And people were doing huggy and stretchy and Kumbaya and like all this and like they were you know, just all this stuff. And I was (inaudible), what are you gonna teach? And I was like, well, clearly, I'm gonna do some Pilates because I have it hasn't happened yet. So I just did the whole order.Brad Crowell 12:50  In ten minutes.Lesley Logan 12:51  In ten minutes.Brad Crowell 12:52  Ten minutes.Lesley Logan 12:53  I think I did it in less than that, because I'm pretty good at it. We did one rep of everything in under 10 minutes. The whole thing. And that's when I coined you can crab sooner than you think. And people loved it. And they all crab sooner than they were ready. And also they had done like 14 or 15 events over two days. They were like so sore. They're like, oh, but also like they all did it. And I was so proud of them. So, anyway, Tamara, I hope that helps. Brad Crowell 13:17  Great question. Lesley Logan 13:17  Great question. Thanks for getting the cards also, it really means a lot to me. I love that you use them to class plan. I love that it's helping you nerd out. And if you have any questions, you guys, about the flashcards you can certainly ask us. You can also go to opc.me/flashcards and you'll see all of the decks. Our fifth deck is in print as we speak.Brad Crowell 13:36  Yeah. It's gonna be released this summer. I guess technically it's summer. It'll be released in August or I guess could it be in September? We'll see how the printer is going. I'm pushing for August. Lesley Logan 13:47  He's pushing for August. I'm realistically saying September. I don't like disappointing people. If you have a question you want us to an swer we can answer anything. It doesn't have to be Pilates, it can be all the different things, we have different guests on, so feel free to send your questions in.Brad Crowell 13:59  (Inaudible) ask about all my amazing hats that I wear. Lesley Logan 14:02  Brad really does change his hats and he hopes you notice.Brad Crowell 14:05  But if you only watch on YouTube, then you'll see it. You can DM us on the gram or you can text us at 310-905-5534 to ask your questions. Stick around. We'll be right back. Brad Crowell 14:20  Okay, now let's talk about Danny-J. And Jill Coleman. Danny-J and Jill, co-hosts of The Best Life podcast, began their careers as personal trainers and fitness competitors. They bonded over shared experiences of discovering their husband's infidelities and their evolving views of fitness and nutrition. They aim to help women feel less alone. embrace change and let go of past identities to become the person they are meant to be. Yeah, and I I knew, I knew that story, (inaudible) but I forgot that story. Yeah, I totally forgot that story and, and listening to them rehash that, the experience of how a how they met and how their podcast came to be, was, was a little bit sad, but also a little bit amazing because it brought the two of them together. And, you know, they've been really close friends now for many years because of that. Yeah. Lesley Logan 15:17  Yeah, I think so I think like, I don't know, every time we say this, somebody gets mad and goes, I didn't want my dog to die, that nothing's good gonna come with that. But like, really, everything does happen for a reason, like, good, like you, there's, it's something is going to come out of this new journey that you're having. So this sucks that they are both cheated on. But they ended up having this new, amazing friendship. And now look, they both have amazing dudes that they are with. So like it all, it all works out, and they probably would not be where they are had it not happen. I really love that they share their story. And I love that Jill said you can't control what your spouse and other people in your life are doing. But you can always control what you decide to do. And we decide to make of it. Brad Crowell 16:02  What you decide to do and what you decide to make of it. Lesley Logan 16:04  Yes. So she went, like, that's what like Danny-J did by moving to L.A. and that was really, really hard for her to, the hard part of her life, hard time in her life. And so, but she was able to take some action. And then I liked that they talked about like always being focused on moving forward. So taking action, taking ownership and taking responsibility. So like we talked about like, you know why they started their podcast, but where they are today. And that's part of like, they're taking action, they're focused on moving forward, they're taking ownership and responsibility. It's not easy to do. Like we make mistakes all the time. And we kind of get embarrassed, but you feel like you can take responsibility for the things that go on in your life and how you can control what you're gonna do in that situation.Brad Crowell 16:46  We've definitely talked about this before that you can't control what others think and say and do. You can only control your own actions. And the way that you think, you know, in this case, it was it was really challenging for both Danny-J and for Jill to to empower themselves as their relationships or after their relationships. As they were ending or after their relationships. When they finally realized there's no change, the guys in the relationship, were not interested in fixing it. And both Danny-J and Jill couldn't, you have no control over them, right? So you can't change what they're going to say and do. Even though you felt like you guys have made a decision together to commit to each other, to do all these things, this is actually really challenging for me, because this is literally what happened to me, too, where I was pushing, pushing, pushing, pushing to fix it. And my ex finally said, I don't want to fix it, I will not fix it. And that was really shocking for me. Because why did we even do this in the first place? You know, and that was really, really hard for me to wrap my head around, you know, and I, just listening to their stories that made me kind of relive that a little bit in my of my own story and, you know, relate to them a little bit. And when they made the decision, I can control what I can do. That's what really gave them the power to move on with their own lives. And then now today, kick ass and take names. It's one of those moments when you're forced to realize that you can't control what other people think, say and do. That sucks. It's really, really probably a hard thing. But you're going to be better for it. Lesley Logan 18:22  Yeah, yeah. Brad Crowell 18:24  One of the things that Danny Jay was talking about, was that transformation actually comes slowly. Sometimes it comes slowly, to the point where you don't even notice it. This was after the, you know, after the separation with her ex. She said the last couple of years have been challenging for her. She, her mom passed away, she has like some people broke at her house. You know, she.Lesley Logan 18:51  She was robbed in Mexico twice.Brad Crowell 18:53  Oh, it was, it was in Mexico. That's right. Sorry.Lesley Logan 18:55  I don't know. And I think she was brought up there (inaudible). Brad Crowell 18:57  I thought there was one in Vegas? Lesley Logan 18:58  But there was twice in one week in Mexico. Brad Crowell 19:00  Yeah. And then she, she actually did have she does have PTSD, from childhood trauma. And, you know, she got stuck in a couple of interesting places to that. So she, you know, she decided to start really tackling that internally. She did ketamine, and she's done a lot of therapy sessions. And one therapy, one therapist told Danny something that I thought was, was interesting for me, because we've all heard of fight or flight, right? Or it's like the two things like you're, you're either running or you're fighting. Well, there's a third one that nobody ever talks about. And that's freezing.Lesley Logan 19:40  There's also fawn. There's a fourth. Fawn, a lot of women will fawn. So fawn Brad Crowell 19:46  F-A-W-N?Lesley Logan 19:47  Yeah. Brad Crowell 19:47  I didn't even know that.Lesley Logan 19:48  Yeah, so fawn is like it hap- Megan Fox talks about this when she was abused in a relationship. She was abused and what she did was like fawn which is like it's okay, you're okay. Don't worry, that was my fault, you start to make them feel better and you kind of like, not Damsel, but like you, the way to take control of the situation is to kind of like, it's not to yight back or do nothing. It's the play, yes, yeah.Brad Crowell 20:14  Yeah, this is really hilarious. I was actually going to tell a story about my fight, flight, or I experienced the third one, freeze. When I was camping when I was a kid. I was up in the upstate Pennsylvania, in the, in the woods, like hardcore in the middle of the woods. I was with the scouts and the Scoutmaster said, hey, there are bears here. So, you know, don't carry around food. Don't be stupid. If you see a bear, you know, get loud, right? And my friend decided to play a joke on me. I was adamant that I could walk through the campsite without using a flashlight, because I like night vision and being able to see the stars and stuff. And I was coming back down from my tent to the camp to like the big camp area where all the people are. And he snuck out from behind a tree on all fours pretending to be an animal. And I, I found out what I would do now moving forward, I would freeze and do nothing. Because that's what I did. I was like, like what? You know, and, and so I just looked up, fight, flight, fight, freeze, and fawn. And the examples that they came up with are all about a bear flight, run away from the bear, fight, fight the bear, freeze, play dead, fawn, keep the bear happy. And so I didn't know that. That's actually really, really interesting to me. Anyway, Danny-J was talking about the freeze response. And she said her therapist was, basically said, she's frozen, right? She's stuck. She's stuck in this this moment. And so she started doing more therapy and ketamine, and she had started to have some baby steps, which started to loosen things up in her life and allow some forward momentum to happen. And she said she's really proud of the shift that's begun to happen in her life, because it also sounds very healing. You know, ultimately, so I think that's amazing. Lesley Logan 22:13  Yeah. I just love these ladies. They're just so great. Brad Crowell 22:16  Yeah, both incredibly powerful and exuberant, they're just so fun to be around. They have great energy. Yeah. Love it. Yeah. Also, both of them have incredible minds for business, which is super fun. Because obviously, that's what I love to nerd out about. So, you know, we've, we've worked with both, both of them as coaches in our business over the years, and it's been exciting to take the things that they're suggesting and have experienced and are doing and incorporate them into the some of the things that we're doing, too. So, yeah, anyway, stick around. Brad Crowell 22:53  All right, so finally, let's talk about those Be It Action Items, what bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted action items can we take away from your convo with Danny-J and Jill Coleman? Jill was talking about her coaching experience and she starts talking about this as if principle.Lesley Logan 23:10  I had, by the way, I had not heard of this as if principle till after I named the podcast, Be It Till You See It, and it really is the as if principle. Brad Crowell 23:17  Yeah. So she has been working with a couple of coaches herself. And one of them, you know, sells millions of dollars a year in sales. And she started to think about this idea of like, what, what would my, you know, what would my coach do in this situation if he was going to make this decision? How would someone who's making millions of dollars in sales make this decision? Right? And so she began to think I need to make decisions as if I am a millions of dollars business owner, right? Because that's where I want to be, right? Which is, be it till you see it, y'all. So she said, there's going to be a gap, however, between where you feel comfortable and where you want to be. And she said, you need to ask yourself, what is my action here? If I were already the person that I'm trying to become what decision would I be making? What's the way that I can sort of step into that new version of myself, even if I'm still scared, because I am still me today. She suggested to picture the person that you want to be or, or the person that you look up to, that already has accomplished the thing that you're trying to accomplish or achieve the thing you're trying to achieve. And then filter your decisions through that lens. So she said also, she's been making some decisions that scare her, because they're out of her comfort zone. She hasn't made decisions like this before. And she said by committing to actions that scare you, you actually force yourself to follow through because you know, if you make a decision and you're like putting everything on the line, you have no choice now, suddenly, right?Lesley Logan 24:54  Yeah, it's kind of like when we even I know she hired more team when we are working with her and it's like you hired them and you're paying them do a job so you gotta give them the job to do so it's full steam ahead even if it scares you because Brad Crowell 25:06  You better make enough money to pay everyone you know so yeah. Exactly. What about you?Lesley Logan 25:12  Okay I've Danny-J's she said kill your ego and kill the old version of yourself so you can become the person you're meant to be. And I'm like this hard.Brad Crowell 25:20  Kill that ego. Lesley Logan 25:21  Danny-J's the hardest to be (inaudible). But she said, because if you cling to your old self, and how people perceive you, it'll hold you back. And people are gonna try to pull you back with your, into your old identity or be critical of your evolution. This happens. This has happened to me as like, I've evolved people like, oh, you're, you're not like this anymore. You're not like this anymore. I'm like, yeah, no, I don't have the time. I'm not doing that anymore. You know, so I cannot do that anymore. And it's you know, and then if you're a people-pleaser, that can be really easy to like, fall back in line, but you got to kill the ego, and kill the old version of yourself. And she said, stop beating yourself up for wanting to change or be different. And I think that's really, really important. It's okay if you want to be different. You just got to do the things you can be different. But she said, in order to be different, you have to be different. Which seems obvious, but guess what, you might forget that you can't just do the same morning routine, same work, same clothes, same friends, and then expect the day to be different, that is the definition of insanity. And she said you have to be able to let go of who you are to become the person you want to be. So go kill your ego, everyone, that is your Be It Action Item from Danny-J.Brad Crowell 26:30  I love it. Well, I want to know, actually, I want to know how do you kill your ego?Lesley Logan 26:37  I feel like that is the Ego is the Enemy book. And he kind of repeats himself 17 times so I feel like if you listen to the Cliff's Notes version of that, you are totally got it. Um, but yeah, I think that or it's therapy, lots of it, you know, or maybe it's like, honestly, you might not be giving a fuck about what other people think so it might actually be The Suttle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, instead of the Ego is the Enemy.Brad Crowell 27:04  That's both great books. Lesley Logan 27:06  Well, one or both of those books was in If Books Could Kill. And to be honest, I think you just need one sentence from each book. And you've got, you've got the whole book, so you don't need to go buy them. You can just like get the Cliff's Notes, I swear. And that is how you're gonna kill your ego, I think, but also, I'd really think it's going to be part of being it until you see it. It's gonna take kill your ego isn't me going back to Jill's and like, what are the things that you'd be doing if you weren't letting your ego drive you (inaudible) things.Brad Crowell 27:34  Yeah. And ego creates fear. Ego creates that lack of confidence or the other end of the spectrum, ego creates arrogance, or, you know, short sightedness, blindness, those kinds of things. So, you know, ego covers the whole spectrum. Yeah. All right. Fair enough. All right.Lesley Logan 27:51  I'm Lesley Logan.Brad Crowell 27:52  And I'm Brad Crowell.Lesley Logan 27:53  Thank you so much for listening to this episode. I hope you got out of it as much as we did. I hope you loved Danny-J and Jill Coleman as much as we do. They're so fabulous. Go listen to The Best Life podcast. And make sure you share this episode with a friend. That's how the podcast grows. So my big ask of you today is to share this with someone you love or someone who needs to hear it. Please, please, please, pretty please. And until next time, Be It Till You See It. Brad Crowell 28:14  Bye for now. Lesley Logan 28:16  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Lesley Logan 28:44  Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod. Brad Crowell 28:59  It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell. Lesley Logan 29:04  It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co. Brad Crowell 29:08  Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi. Lesley Logan 29:15  Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals. Brad Crowell 29:18  Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time. Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/be-it-till-you-see-it/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

De passage dans la matinale de Dimitri Pavlenko pour annoncer le programme de son émission, Pascal Praud revient sur le sentiment de gachis que lui inspire Emmanuel Macron. Il considère que la lettre du président aux Français n'est pas audible.

Lesley Logan shares her excitement for launching an event earlier than expected, reflecting on the year-long effort and celebrating this achievement with listeners. She emphasizes the power of small, consistent action in achieving bigger goals, the importance of daily self-care practices, and finding moments of movement in their day. Tune in to discover community wins and why Lesley reminds everyone to listen to their intuition and follow their hearts.If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co. And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.In this episode you will learn about:The importance of prioritizing 10 minutes of Pilates on a busy day.The power of consistent Pilates practice on glute engagement. The reciprocal nature of sharing knowledge with mentors and peers.The result of a year's worth of smaller steps and decision-making.  If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. DEALS! Check out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper's Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox Be in the know with all the workshops at OPCBe It Till You See It Podcast SurveyBe a part of Lesley's Pilates MentorshipFREE Ditching Busy Webinar  Resources:Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!Lesley Logan websiteBe It Till You See It PodcastOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley LoganOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTubeProfitable Pilates Follow Us on Social Media:InstagramFacebookLinkedIn  Episode Transcript:Lesley Logan 0:00  It's Fuck Yeah Friday.  Brad Crowell 0:01  Fuck yeah.  Lesley Logan 0:02  Get ready for some wins. Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started. Hi, Be It babe. How are you? Happy June 14th. That's the day (inaudible) dropping. And it doesn't mean that today you're listening to this. So happy day. I'm so excited that you are choosing to listen to the Be It Pod, especially on FYF day, that means you are here for a little dose of inspiration, some wins of yours, a win of mine, for us to explore different ways we can look at different wins. And I think it's so, so important because we can be so hard on ourselves and not realize that there are winning, it's happening all the time. So there's different ways to celebrate things. And so FYF just means Fuck Yeah Friday. You can do an FYF on any day of the week. You can have like a Slay it Saturday or Sunday or you know, Magic Monday, whatever you want. But if this, hopefully, starts to help you seek out and see the possibility of positive things happening in your life amongst all of the chaos. All right, so this one is from Jennifer Voss (JV). She's an eLevate member, currently, and she got 10 minutes on her reformer before going to work today. Working on getting out of the habit of skipping, there's always time in my day to practice one move even. Today, flowed two times for the long stretch series. Way to go, JV. So I just want to highlight this, there's always going to be somebody that feels like it's bigger priority than you getting your movement in. Always. I know, like, I'll just do it tomorrow. I don't have enough time. 10 minutes of movement is so, so important. If you find little bouts of movement moments in your day, it's really great. And one of the things that I stress for Pilates instructors, you need to protect your practice, an easy part of your daily life, even if it's 10 minutes, even if it's five minutes. But for everyone else listening because there's more of you than the Pilates instructors. You need to protect your practice. I know that you have bills to pay and people pulling on you and screaming your name too many times during the day. But you will have more energy to deal with all of that if you take care of yourself and move even for 10 minutes in the day. All right next up we have Jaime Thomas also an eLevate member. By the way we will be opening up eLevate we've had a lot of questions on eLevate. We'll open up eLevate 2025 probably anytime now. So Jaime Thomas, she's like, this is small, but in my mind it's also really big. I'm starting to feel my glutes when I walk, the connections I'm working on my Pilates practice are carrying over into everyday living. I'm so excited. You know what, that's a huge win. I'm being really honest, especially as someone whose glutes didn't, I didn't, I never felt that. So, I feel this is a huge win for you, Jamie. It's, your posture is so key. And if you're feeling your glutes when your walk, like your longevity in this life is just like exponentially expanded. And I'm so grateful. Thank you for sharing. Thank you for taking care of yourself and for your practice. And, you guys, yeah, feeling your glutes when you walk is a win. So, maybe you're like, oh, I feel my glutes when I walk. I'm winning too. Good. Celebrate that. All right, next up we have Liza Osoteo. So, Lisa is an eLevate grad. She also taught at the OPC Summer Camp. She also cracks me up and I cannot wait for her to be at our Cambodia retreat this year with her friend Mandy. All right, I taught my teacher and dearest of friends, Mandy Bland. It was a brief second finessing her side bend on the mat, but what a huge moment for me. It took me years and many Pilates teachers to get to that point. How cool is that? And how cool, is it that I have accumulated so many Pilates teachers over the years, I could write an Oscar speech that would require the orchestra to play me off. Don't worry, I'll save the thank you speech for my own socials (besides, I need to practice tagging them which is another win-in-the-making: becoming slightly more social media literate). But back to this FYF, thank you Mandy Bland. Oh, my gosh. You know, something I love about Liza is how, how fun she is in everything that she does. But I really truly do love and learn a lot about different things of positivity from her. And so I hope that if you have ever taken a moment to teach someone who's taught you to think something that you see as a win. You know, a lot of times I don't think we have something to offer people who've taught us other things but they don't know everything. It's impossible. I don't know everything you can't know everything. So we can all be helping each other out and those are wins and we can celebrate those. So thank you Liza for showing us that there are wins and us teaching other people just something small, something little that can take them to the next level on their life and even in that exercise, so thank you. Thank you. Thank you. All right, here we go. My win. Summer Tour is open, it is launched and holy moly, this win is happening because it's happening earlier than we normally would have done it for summer camp usually, like just there's so many moving parts. And so I'm just really, really proud that we hit all those deadlines to get Summer Tour open, that we're doing a summer tour is also just a win, a year in the making. Been doing little celebrations around it without actually highlighting it for you guys, but to do Summer Tour required us a year in advance to clear the schedule. And it required us to start to gather up other people's names and places we could go and really contemplate what could be possible and dream about it before it could even happen. (Inaudible) about this year's summer tour before we did last year's summer tour. So, we didn't even know if we would like it. We didn't know what would be possible, we didn't know if it would be too much on ourselves. And so the fact that we have opened up the registration, we have amazing cities that we're going to. New cities we've never been to before. New collaborative partners. Our amazing headline sponsor, Balanced Body is back. All like these massive, it's one big massive win, which is this accumulation of a lot of little wins and betting on ourselves. And so if you have this big dream that's a year in advance, you have to celebrate the little wins you get along the way. So you might not have heard other wins that I've had in the last year, which is like changing the schedule. Last year, I was so proud that we hadn't like booked things for this year. And the reason we hadn't done that is because we needed to see if we could put in these summer tours. And so just notice the little wins that you're having that are adding up to you being able to have the big win in a year from now because they do add up. And so thank you to my team, thank you to our sponsors, thank you to collaborative partners. (inaudible) You know, we wouldn't do our tours, if you didn't come until I really hope to see you at one of those amazing cities because that would be a win as well. To me is their win, their wins in getting to be in person together and getting to give a hug and getting to see your face and hear who you are and what you love and why you listen. So I do hope you can come and, to Summer Tour and (inaudible) those cities. We will be doing a winter tour, but you'll find out about that later.We are already making many little wins on that as we speak. Some more on that to come. But thank you so much for being you. I hope these wins helped you see different ways that you might have been winning already this week, or even today. Maybe you taught someone something today, maybe you helped someone, you know, cross the street, that's a win, right? It's a win because there's a lot of things going on in your life and you were able to be present enough to support someone else. So think about the different ways you're winning, celebrate those with others, you can be the inspiration of positivity around you. And before I let you go, of course we have the mantra that we all need to remember by okay, my heart knows its own way. My heart knows its own way. My heart knows its own way. So, listen to it. And until next time, Be It Till You See It.That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod. Brad Crowell 8:59  It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.  Lesley Logan 9:04  It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.  DotcoBrad Crowell 9:08  Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.  Lesley Logan 9:15  Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals. Also,Brad Crowell 9:19  Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.  Transcribed by https://otter.aiSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/be-it-till-you-see-it/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Returning guest, body image expert Jenny Schatzle, joined host Lesley Logan to discuss the pressure to look like someone else and the unrealistic expectations that fuel negative body image. This conversation explores the impact societal expectations have on women, the messages we send to young girls, and practical tools to shift the conversation about bodies. Jenny offers empowering advice, tools, and encourages listeners to embrace their able bodies and prioritize self-acceptance over comparison.If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co. And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.In this episode you will learn about:The societal pressures that promote unrealistic body ideals. The impact and effects of comparing yourself to others.Practical tips for creating lasting habits for daily exercises.Strategies for changing the conversation around body image.How to accept and live more fully in your able body. Techniques for managing negative thoughts and anxiety.Episode References/Links:Jenny Schatzle InstagramJenny Schatzle WebsiteGuest Bio:Meet Jenny Schatzle, a passionate speaker, author, and coach dedicated to empowering women to embrace their bodies, break free from the shackles of diet culture, and transform their inner dialogue. With a focus on fostering self-love and confidence, she has created a movement toward a more fulfilling life beyond the size of your body. For 20 years, Jenny has been guiding women through a transformative journey, helping them rewrite the narrative of their relationship with themselves. Through workshops, talks, and coaching sessions, she inspires individuals to confront their inner critic and challenge the norms that dictate self-worth.   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. DEALS! Check out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper's Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox Be in the know with all the workshops at OPCBe It Till You See It Podcast SurveyBe a part of Lesley's Pilates MentorshipFREE Ditching Busy Webinar  Resources:Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!Lesley Logan websiteBe It Till You See It PodcastOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley LoganOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTubeProfitable Pilates Follow Us on Social Media:InstagramFacebookLinkedIn  Episode Transcript:Jenny Schatzle 0:00  Unfortunately, a lot of people don't start to love and accept and respect their body until it no longer functions the way they want it to. And I don't think we should wait till that moment. I mean, if you've ever had an injury you know, oh, I'm never going to take, using my hand or using my leg for granted. But then you do and we do as women every time we compare ourselves to somebody else. Oh, I wish I had her butt. Oh, I wish I had her arms. Well, guess what? You can't physically have somebody else's body.  Lesley Logan 0:26  Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.  Lesley Logan 1:04  All right, loves. This guests we have today is back. This is her second time. It will not be her last time. I'm absolutely obsessed with what this woman is putting out in the world to support all of us. Every single one of us. Ladies, especially us. But her name is Jenny Schatzle. If you don't know her, you're gonna fall and fall in love with her just like I did. She is a powerhouse. She's incredible. And she is here to help us all break the cycle of how we are talking about bodies, especially how about our bodies, because all of our actions get passed down to the people around us. And we are more than what our bodies look like. And if you're like yeah, yeah, yeah. And you nod your head, and you nod your head, but then you find yourself you know, not putting on the bathing suit or, which we'll talk about in the podcast, or at home the holidays and someone says something about your body and that makes you upset. Like we were not given the tools to address that in a way that is supportive. And in this podcast, Jenny Schatzle is not only going to give you the tools, she's going to share with you how she use it. And I'm just so incredibly grateful for this woman in my life. And I'm excited for her to be back in your ears. If this is the second time you heard about her, great, you're gonna love all the things we talked about again, it's a great reminder. And if this is your first time get ready to fall in love, just feel so, so supported. And I hope that you check out her first episode, we'll put that in the show notes as well. So you can go back and listen to both of those and just be on a Jenny Schatzle binge and I promise you, you will feel so great. And you'll be so aware of the thoughts that you're thinking about your body. Anytime I ever make, like have a thought that's negative to my body, I actually think like if Jenny Schatzle was here, would I say that out loud? No. So then I don't get to say it out loud. So anyways, you guys, here is Jenny Schatzle. Lesley Logan 2:58  All right, Be It babe. I'm freakin stoked because I know we're all about to go to like, (inaudible) the best kind of church we could all go to, which is just listening to Jenny Schatzle remind us all that we're so frickin worthy and we need to change the conversation and break the cycle. Jenny Schatzle, will you tell everyone who you are and why you rock at all of that stuff?Jenny Schatzle 3:19  Yay, well, that's a great introduction right there. Everyone, I'm Jenny Schatzle. I'm so excited to be here. And yeah, I'm on a mission to help women change the conversation around body image. So we can not only show the younger generation how to do it, but we are the ones who model it every day by breaking the cycle and unlearning all the toxic bullshit we learned growing up.Lesley Logan 3:42  Yeah, yeah. (Inaudible) Well, you know, Jenny, I thought for a couple of years that like, it felt a little bit like the rest of the world was kind of getting down with this, like the magazines and things were going down with this. And now they're back to what they were before. And I'm like, but I think it's because their magazines aren't selling which is not because of what their titles are. I get quotes all the time or get asked for quotes all the time. And one of them is like, can you tell me how to get Miley Cyrus's arms in five exercises? And I'm like, no, she is 31 even if you did Pilates like her, which my friend teaches her, four hours a day and had her nutritionist and her chef you still won't have her arms because hormones are real, age is a thing and you don't, you're not Miley Cyrus and why are you asking me this question? And so I get really annoyed because even my team's like, hey, here's some things that will do well with SEO which is like 17 butt exercises at school to tone your buttom, I'm like I don't ever want to tone anyone's butt. I don't want to ever talk about that. But it's unfortunate like it's this thing where like, that's what the machines want people, the experts put out because that's what people are clicking and how do we, how do people like you, people like me get people to hear that when you change the conversation when that's not what they'll click on?Jenny Schatzle 4:56  100% And it's hard not gonna I'm not gonna lie. (Inaudible), they don't work, but they sell. They keep selling. So the quote I will give you to give them is, you know, when somebody asks, can you tell me how to get so and so's arms, you can say, if we all ate the same and worked out the same, we would still look different. And the days of us trying to look like other people, I want to acknowledge that it's up to us disrespecting, and giving up what we do have. So a lot of us have very able healthy bodies. And on a daily basis, we're disrespecting that. And unfortunately, a lot of people don't start to love and accept and respect their body until it no longer functions the way they want it to. And I don't think we should wait till that moment. I mean, if you've ever had an injury, you know, like, oh, I'm never gonna take using my hand or using my leg for granted. But then you do. And we do as women every time we compare ourselves to somebody else. Oh, I wish I had her butt. Oh, I wish I had her arms. Well, guess what, you can't physically have somebody else's body. You weren't born with it. You weren't meant to have it. I believe I'm this person in the middle. But a lot of my message does get construed like it's not black and white, right? Like, people think I'm anti-diet, but I don't think like you can still want to change your body and lose weight, I don't think that's bad. We just need to have the conversation of why. And when we're giving up, you know, a really old saying, which I love so much, it's don't give up 95% of your life to weigh 5% less. I don't know who originally said it. But it's a very meaningful, because for a lot of us weight loss, we think if I just, and I've said this before on your podcast, you know, but if I just lost this last 10 pounds I'd be happy. If my arms were just a little bit toner or if my stomach was flatter. And we know that that isn't really going to make us our happiest person. And a lot of us are waiting to live our best lives when we lose weight. But then we lose weight and it's just never enough. And the body's still never good enough. So my take on it is when you learn to actually accept the body that you have today that's when you start taking the best care of it. Lesley Logan 7:06  Yes. Oh, okay. All that. Yes. And I think it's, it's interesting. We do take things for granted, when they're working well, because we're looking at someone else's lawn. And you know, thinking that I want that it's gonna be greener over there. It's gonna be easy over there. I was talking to someone earlier today who was on their podcast, and she was telling me how she went to a Pilates class and she was having a really hard time because she couldn't do exercise like everyone else. And I said, well, you won't look like everyone else. And I don't know who your teacher was, but I hope that they weren't explaining to you that you're gonna look like everyone else. You also just started so you are a beginner. And why can we not allow ourselves to be beginners at things? Why are we expecting ourselves? I gotta look like that person over there. I'm not good enough. It's like, no, you just started. So like, it's like, it's all these things that we keep comparing ourselves to others, even when we're new. We should be giving us the most grace.Jenny Schatzle 7:56  And I'm gonna add to that we always say in our gym, so I do own a gym. And we do, we don't do Pilates we are, I like to say we are like a one-stop shop. Except for we I shouldn't say it because we don't do Pilates. We don't do Pilates (inaudible). We do cardio, we do strength training. We have what we call like burn days, power days. Anyway, it's a cardio strength. I always say don't compare your day one to somebody, you know, somebody else's day 300. But on top of that, just in the world. It's so crazy that we will sit there and compare ourselves. I always make jokes like Sally Jomo down the street who you think is so thin and so beautiful. But who knows Sally Jomo's drinking a bottle of vodka every night because she's crazy unhappy in her marriage. She hates her body. She's disconnected from her family. Like you have no idea how else, how anybody else is living. And we assume these things based on the way that people look. I say this a lot, too. New listeners. if you haven't listened to me before. I'm brutally honest, I don't hold back. I know a lot of very rich, thin, beautiful women who I wouldn't trade lives with for millions of dollars. They are extremely unhappy, unhappy, and I'm not saying that every rich, thin woman is. I'm just trying to bring up the point that you have no idea what's going on in other people's lives. And just based on somebody's arms or flat stomach, doesn't necessarily mean they're doing it right. Also, genetics plays a huge role in our bodies. You know, there's a there's like a tic tac toe thing. My husband brought it up. It's so funny going around. It was like, you know, these 20-year-old influencers which I'm not talking smack on anyone, but it's like, no, show me a mom who's got, you know, a mom with kids. And I mean, just like all the things like we don't you know, an old saying is we all have the same 24 hours in a day. That's bullshit. You ever ever spent a day with a mom who's got a disabled kid? Have you ever spent a day as a single person or as a mom or a mom without a partner or a mom with a partner like we do not have the same 24 hours in a day. We don't.Lesley Logan 10:02  No. You're 100%.Jenny Schatzle 10:03  What we choose to do with our 24 hours is up to us. But comparing ourselves like, I don't have the same life at 44, with six-year-old twins and a husband that's gone a lot, but I still have a husband that's gonna come home. And he's all in. And he's an incredible partner, compared to a single mom who doesn't get the help, who has no family in town, or a 24-year-old, who's got a part-time job, who's a trust fund kid, or a 24-year-old who is barely making it and works, like we all have such different circumstances that we can't compare. You just, we got to stop comparing our days and our time.Lesley Logan 10:37  Yeah, the other day, my husband's gone for an overnight and I was like, wow, I got so much done today. Because I wasn't interrupted, I wasn't listening. So I'm like, you know, I don't even have the kids or the demanding things, or anybody who needs me more than a regular adult would need me. Like, I just have a husband who works with me and comes in my office at random times, I'm like, you are, you just stop interrupting me. So it's true. We all think we're supposed to be further along sooner than we are. And everyone else has a better and if we just had this and that seems like when I have or when this happens, those phrases, if you ever hear yourself saying them, you that should be like a red light to take a pause because you are not appreciating what's in the present and accepting what you have and what you can do. You know, I like to tell people, that it's brave and courageous to replace what you can't do yet with what you can. Because there's a lot of Pilates exercises that I teach in a class because it's an all-levels class, which means I have to hit the advanced people, too. And when I say is, if you're not ready for this exercise, yet, you're gonna replace it with some that was a challenge for you. And you're gonna remind yourself, it's brave and courageous to do something different in this moment, but also in every moment, it's actually the coolest thing to be the different person in the room. Everybody thinks that that person is actually doing really cool things that, you know, the people who become super awesome and super known aren't doing it because they were the same as everyone else. They did something to disrupt.Jenny Schatzle 12:00  And just if we're talking in the gym setting, because I've been in it as you had for a very long time. You know, I'm 44 years old now and my body, it hurts. You think it's not gonna happen to you, my knees hurt my hip hurts. I say I'm the captain of the Mod Squad. I own a gym, and I'm the one doing all the modifications in the gym setting. And I'm just gonna be brutally honest here. Nobody gives a shit what you're doing. Right? Like, nobody's actually watching you. Everybody's thinking 100% about themselves. I always joke in our gym, it's, people are just, they don't care. We have people who walk we have people who run and we have people who run really fast. If you're walking next to a person who's running fast, the person running and the person walking is not thinking about oh my gosh, this person is going so slow. They're thinking, when do I get off the treadmill? Right? When is this exercise over? When are we moving on? Like, when can I be? Nobody's watching you thinking that person is doing a terrible job. And that's just the story in our head. So many people always say, oh, I want to come take a class, I'm just scared or I need to get, I need to get in better shape, before I come take a class. (inaudible)Jenny Schatzle 13:04  I always say saying that is like saying you're too dirty to take a shower. I always like to remind everyone why we talk ourselves out of doing what we know is gonna make us feel good, right? Like when you're done with your Pilates, you feel so good. When you're done with a workout in my class, you feel so good. And yet we will sit and we will talk ourselves out of it. Because why? Because we're scared of what other people think because we don't like the size of our body because we think we can't do it. And before we've even tried, and you can't create a new habit, if you don't do it. And so this goes for all things like I tell people, you know, if you say I just want to start walking, you have to actually start walking and you got, you got to do it. Go 10 minutes for five, five days, you know, do 15 minutes of Pilates for 20 days in a row and see how it feels. You have to start and that goes for the same as I would say working out and then the lifelong I think everybody's like, I want to get more sleep, but you're unwilling to turn off the TV. Right? So you have to start like one of my big tricks and I'll go back to what you said too. I I like to give really easy actionable tools, because it's like anything, you can listen to a motivational speech or motivational podcast and you feel great. But then you're just like back to your normal life. Right? So it's before what you said with like, when people start comparing when you start comparing yourself or talking down to yourself, I tell people stop. Put your hand on your heart. And breathe and we're gonna do this together. Ready, everybody listening? Stop right where you are. Put your feet on the ground. Sit up straight. Relax your shoulders. Put your hand on your heart. And I want you to breathe in for five. Ready, breathe in. Go 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. Now hold, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Breathe out, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Now we're gonna do it one more time. And you're just gonna breathe in and you're gonna breathe out. But when we breathe in, I want you to say, "Here." When we breathe out, I want you to say, "Now." Ready? Breathe in, here. Breathe out, now.Jenny Schatzle 15:23  So when we do that, we get back into our body. So we can remind ourselves, I am here now. And then how do you want to move forward? When we're starting to spiral in comparison, or that we're not good enough, or that maybe we shouldn't go when we know we really do want to show up, stop and do that. Take a breath. It's five in, hold five, out five. And then one more where you say here now. Lesley Logan 15:55  That's beautiful. Jenny Schatzle 15:55  My other tool. I know, right? So good. My other tool is, I'm a big component of, you know, I've never been technically tested or whatever. I have ADHD, I have all the things right? Like, I can't focus. That's why I'm in the fitness world. I get to be loud and dance around and listen to music and meet new people. Lesley Logan 16:15  You can be doing seven things at different times because everyone's doing over here. And you, I'm here. Brad and I are both undiagnosed.Jenny Schatzle 16:23  It's where I thrive, like I thrive in chaos. (Inaudible) Like, for me to sit still is really hard. I thrive in chaos. Anyway, so I have to set timers for myself. So for me, one of my big things is like, I am a mom, I have kids, like my alone time is at night. It's also where I do things that don't serve me like stay up too late watching TV, you know, I need sleep. So what, but I also don't believe in drastic, like takeaways from your life and things that like, it does make me happy to lay in bed and watch TV. And so I set timers now I'm like, okay, I'm gonna watch TV, either I'm gonna watch an episode for whatever it is, 30 minutes or an hour. Okay. And then after that, I set a timer for 20 minutes and I read and then I go to bed. So I'm doing one thing I enjoy. And I also enjoy reading. But reading before bed also helps me sleep better. Yeah, so it's not like I'm telling myself, you can't watch TV. But also, I don't want to watch. I mean, I do want to watch three hours of TV, but it doesn't serve me, right?Lesley Logan 17:26  Every time I stay up late to watch I'm like, I'm just gonna finish this. I regret it the next one, like why didn't I just space that show out three nights?Jenny Schatzle 17:33  Always. And it's not like watch it the next day, but I do have to cut myself off. So like, if I know the show is 45 minutes, I will literally set a timer and the timer goes off at the end. I'm like, okay, I need to turn it off. Because I need like a tool that's going to actually make me do it. Yeah, if that makes sense. Lesley Logan 17:51  It totally makes sense. Jenny Schatzle 17:51  I use it for everything in my life. You know, if I have to study for something. If I have to clean the kit- you've seen on my Instagram, I do a lot of the 10-minute cleanup, I'm a pretty messy person if we're being honest, but I like to clean the house. So I set a timer for 10 minutes, I can clean up as much as I can. And then I walk away. And some, you know, it takes me usually longer, but at least it gets it started. Anyway, I think setting a timer to do things is really helpful. Lesley Logan 18:18  We actually, we have kitchen timers around this house for everything because I was just before this interview, I was on a call with my assistant. And she's like, so and so wants to make sure this is gonna get done. I'm like, well, you can tell so and so that there was no time in the calendar for me to do that. And I'm going to do it. And it's gonna get done. When I can get it done. I'll have it to her by Monday just gives me like three days. But when I go to do that thing, I always set a timer for 15 minutes and everything's on Do Not Disturb. And there's actually a study that if you have a visible timer near you, you actually stay more focused. And for someone like me with undiagnosed ADD, it's really helpful because believe it or not, I can even write that newsletter in 15 minutes, because I am so focused, I'm like in it, I'm thinking of the person that it's going to help. But if I'm like, oh, I'm gonna sit down and then at this hour I have my time I can write my newsletters. I'll take the whole hour because everything will take the time we like give it so setting a timer for a project also allows you if you have multiple things to do that day, you can at least get them started. You can do 10 minutes of pickup and then go timer goes up. Okay, now I'm going to do 10 minutes of like getting back to people on these emails, you're never going to clean up the inbox, but you're at least going to feel like you've got something done. And you move the needle forward in your day. So we're big fans of timers around here.Jenny Schatzle 19:29  I love that. Same thing. Yeah. And that's one thing that's actually, really changed my life. Lesley Logan 19:34  Yeah, and I also, also messy not dirty, there's a difference like Brad's like can you just do something about your socks and I'm like, I just take them off wherever I am like that. I'll get them later.Jenny Schatzle 19:46  It's funny we laugh a lot. And we all have different things right? Like I'm I'm pretty messy at home but in the gym. I'm like crazy about the weights. The weights being stacked and the gym being super clean. It's pretty funny and people give me a hard time about it.Lesley Logan 19:58  Okay, one of the things I love about you is we're both fast talkers, we get to a lot in a little bit of time. You have two daughters, they cracked me up, you're so big on making sure that they are protected from hearing like terrible words. And something that you probably don't know is that around Thanksgiving, you post a thing about like ways to you know, handle rude or weird comments at the holidays and like also like how to handle those conversations. And in my coaching group, our our size diverse coach actually took that post and put it in her channel has like, hey, guys, this is that time of year where our customer, our clients say weird things. They're nervous to go home, here's some things you can arm them with. So for our listeners who you know, haven't gone back yet into, you guys are gonna binge on her Instagram. Before I hit play on this interview, I watched what you post about pink and I just cried. What are your things to help make sure that those family members around us who are not on board with like, what the lifestyle we want to live? How do we protect their terrible energy from harming our kids and even ourselves when we are like trying to live in this new place we love the body that we have?Jenny Schatzle 21:03  Yeah, I feel like I've been trying to get this question asked in all podcasts, and you're like the first person to ask this (inaudible). Thank you. Yeah, so and I am really big on honestly talking to moms about body image. So one thing I want to say too, is, yes, I'm trying to protect my kids. And also, it's impossible. And my kids obviously don't have phones, they're six, but they're gonna grow up with phones, social media, the media in general, because people will say to me, well, how are you going to keep them from hearing this message out in the world, but the stronger the message is at home, the stronger the base they have, and that is the goal. And again, it's not bad to tell your kids that they're pretty because I've had people message me and say, well, nobody ever said I was pretty nobody ever and I'm like, oh, I see that too. But I don't, we don't use like when my kids come out and they say do you like my outfit? Or anytime they walk out we always say, oh, you look so powerful. How do those clothes feel on your body? And they're like, good. So it's just kind of slightly changing the conversation? Or they say, How do I look? And I'm like, You look powerful. How do you feel? And so just having these slight interactions at home, we don't first think, oh, you look so pretty. That's not what we start with. And also, every holiday do a post, for the most part, and this isn't in every family. But for the most part, commenting, I'm very big on commenting on people's bodies, and that we don't do that anymore. And this even goes women to women, friends to friends, but a lot of times, especially around the holidays, going back home, I want a lot of people to know that most people don't do it to be mean, it's what is ingrained in them. And it's what they know. So even asking somebody, if they've lost weight is really triggering for a lot of people. And that person, your mom or your aunt or your cousin, they think you're giving a compliment. And I want to remind people that it's not a compliment. Okay, it's it's not only triggering, but underneath it all, it's telling us so many things. One, if somebody's like, oh, have you lost weight? We're getting this internal message that this person who just said that, they're paying attention to our body. They are paying attention to what we look like. And so I mean, I always say is have you, have you ever had somebody tell you you've lost weight and then the next time you saw them, maybe you've put some weight back on, and all you can think about is oh shit, they're gonna notice, right? Because we remember those things. And we remember the person, our body is a value to them, because they have now told us that they recognize and are paying attention to the size of our body. And so I think a lot of us, we don't think about that. And I always say, I'm not trying to be right, I'm just trying to create awareness, because so much of this language around bodies, is ingrained in us. And so a couple years ago, before I went back, I live in California, and I'm from Minnesota, and I sent a text to my family. And because I do this for a living and my family very much still talks about body and I grew up in a body-obsessed family. And then I went into the fitness world. So it continued very strongly and I said to them, basically, and I did post on my Instagram, but basically, how we talk to our family is, come from love, not from anger, because the minute you start blaming somebody and pointing the finger, like you said this, you can't say this around my kids, people's walls come up and they get very defensive. And we're trying to actually really create change. So we want to have very heartfelt open conversations. So I always start with this is what I've struggled with, you know, I've struggled with my body my entire life. And I'm really trying to change that for my children. That's number one. So I put out what I've struggled with and that I, as the mother of my children, I'm trying to change it for my children. Two, I asked for their help. So I'm going to ask for your help in this because you are a really big part of my children's lives. So I include the family in, right? Like, you are important, my kids are listening to you, they look up to you. And so I'm hoping that you'll help me in this. And what I'm asking is, please don't make any body comments about my body, my children's bodies, other people's bodies, you can do whatever you want, when I'm not around. But when I'm there with my children, could you just please respect that? And then on the third, I say, I love you and we're all trying to get better. And just, I really appreciate your help in this. So at first talk about my struggles, I then asked for their help with which also putting a little prompt in like, you know, you're a big part of this, I love you, my kids love you. And then thanking them and it has been really successful. Lesley Logan 25:44  I love it because it's, you take the responsibility, and you invite people, people always want to be asked to help people always want to feel like they're participating in a positive way. And they, and also people want to do it right. So if you tell them what not to do, that's not the same as telling them what to do. So, Joseph Pilates would never tell anyone what not to do. He would never say don't in a session. You would never hear him say that's not right, don't do that. He would only tell you what to do. And so in the same, as exactly how I teach people in Pilates, but that's exactly what you're saying here. It's like you're not telling your mom, hey, you used to talk badly about my body, it made me really self-conscious and I don't want to do that on my daughter's. That's not helping her understand what she can say around them or like what is possible. And of course, you're gonna shut down, the walls and they're gonna feel like they don't do anything, right. And so I love the way you phrase that I think that's amazing. Everyone, we'll have it in the blog on the website. So you could just go and copy and paste for your family texts.Jenny Schatzle 26:40  And it's funny when I sent it, everybody was like, oh, like, how did your family respond? And I'll be honest, my family did not respond. So just, everyone should know that nobody texted back. Nobody responded. And then no one said anything while we were there.Lesley Logan 26:56  One of the major holidays.Jenny Schatzle 26:57  You might not get the response, and this is also to like, everybody's family is so different and also, it's so hard because I think a lot of times, especially when we are trying to break cycles and change conversations within our own families, we're hurt. And we, and it's upsetting. A lot of our family members aren't trying to be, they literally don't know better. They just have to think about like, how were they brought up? Who said, you know, anytime body comments are made, this is also a good reminder for us. Because, you know, we all think things it's you can't say like, don't judge because we're going to judge, but you can, in the moment of judgment. I've said this on your podcast. In the moment, the first thing we think is what is ingrained. The second thing we think, or what we do after that is who we want to be, right? So we judge, but then we get to shut ourselves down like, oh, wait, why do I care what she's wearing? That's none of my business. I don't even know her, right? Like, oh, so and so's body? What? Why do I care? What, I, that's none of my business. And so people who talk about other people's bodies, and we know this, we just have to remember this. It's everything to do with their body. You know, and so always think like, how did they grow up? What is ingrained in them? And so not trying to be right, like, get angry, I'm just trying to create awareness. Like, oh, yeah, maybe I shouldn't say this. And even when you have these conversations, and a lot of times, you're not going to get the response you want, like, you are so right, I am so sorry. You know, thank you. What we want people (inaudible), but a lot of times people might shut down or people just might not respond. But the fact is, you've planted the seed and now they're thinking about it. So you need to go in with I'm just trying to create awareness, not get the response I need.Lesley Logan 28:44  Yeah, yeah. And I think that's really amazing to understand our expectations, you know, to manage our expectations so that it's, it can be a change. And I thank you for updating us on how it went, which is that no one said anything about bodies and what a, what a cool Christmas.Jenny Schatzle 29:02  It's a reminder to and to shut it down. What were they saying? I don't think I actually ended up pushing. I made a video of it. Because after I went to lunch, there was a group of women and somebody made a comment about like, bathing suits and their bodies and trying on and then I was like, I was like, this is not the lunch I signed up for like I came to talk with some awesome powerful women. And like we're all fabulous. And you know what? And I looked at my friend and I said, are you an able body? Are you healthy? Do you feel good? And she's like, yeah, I'm gonna, I'm like, great. Let's start respecting that. And you know what, I got more important things to talk about, than what we look like in bathing suits, because I think we all look fabulous. And what's really going on? How's your marriage? Right? It's like, a lot of times, when we're talking about body and food, it's because we don't want to talk about the real stuff. And I don't want to sit around with a bunch of women and talk about how fat we are like how big your ass is, how you don't like, you know, I want to be able to support each other in a really positive way. And so it's like, okay, you're not feeling good in your body. What's really going on? Like, let's really talk about it. Lesley Logan 30:07  Yeah, I like how you make it a fun joke. And then like, like kind of just like bring it to people's attention, because it's one of those things. It's like a domino effect, someone says something that someone else goes, and like, let's just be really honest, I don't know who the fit models are for bathing suits, but you're never just pick the size that fits you and don't, just tear the tag out ladies like you don't, it doesn't matter that you don't get to buy the small or the medium. Because no one sees a tag on the outside. Just pick the bathing suit that makes you feel good, and let it go and be the abled, I love what you call it, able-bodied. We forget that we have the ability to get out into the pool and go run around and go swim. And so like, there's, that's the least of our worries. It's like, if we look good enough in a bathing suit when no one's paying attention to you looking in a bathing suit.Jenny Schatzle 30:51  And most people don't, I'm gonna be honest, like, there's some staggering statistic like 90 something percent of women dislike their body. I mean, it's gut-wrenching. And so what are we doing to change that? You know, what we need to do? We need to show up in our body today. That's what we need to do. We need to stop basing our conversations with other women around how much we hate our bodies. Our kids don't grow up and are like, you know what, I'm really glad my mom never gotten a bathing suit. I talk a lot about moms because I am a mom. And I do believe that moms, and I'm in a very progressive marriage. But I mean, I'm gonna be honest, I run this house, right, and like our energy, and it's statistically known also that, how if we're talking about women, I do speak to women. But this goes for girls and boys, our kid's body image is directly affected to a mother's body image. And so if we want our children to have an, you know, I have a lot of moms and say, well, I don't ever talk bad about my body in front of my kids. It's an energy, like, we possess it. And our kids know, like, we, how we show up in our body is an energy and so and how we change that conversation is we have to, and when I say this, I don't wake up every day, like, I'm amazing, my body's perfect. Like I, I'm 30 pounds heavier than I was, when I probably technically, right like looked my best, according to society. But my body image was worse. Because I was so obsessed with food and body that it took me out of living my life. Now, I'm heavier, but I am at my healthiest, I feel so strong. And I'm confident in the way that if I don't feel if I'm having a bad body image day, I will still put on the shorts and I will still go out into the world. Like I will show up in my body every single day because I can even when I don't want to. And I think that's really what it's about. And it's about showing my girls that there is all these different size bodies, and my kids are not going to grow up and say, I'm really glad my mom never got in the water. I'm really glad my mom covered her arms and her thighs and never showed her belly. No kid is gonna say that. And so I don't care if you were a moomoo, a bikini, a one piece, like show up to your life in your body, show up with your kids get in the frickin water. And who cares. Like I did a whole thing about spring break. And going with like, a lot of times you go to spring break with other families, and you're so worried about the other moms and what they look like in their body and what they're gonna think, well guess what? They're worried about the same shit. It's like, just put on the frickin suit, go get in the pool, eat a burger by the pool and have some fun with your family and your friends. We're missing out on Ives, because we're so obsessed about what other people think of our bodies.Lesley Logan 33:33  Yeah. Oh my gosh, clearly, we could keep going. I I love when we get together. I really wish I had an excuse to go walk with you on the beach again, in Santa Barbara, like we did. That was the best time. Okay, y'all are gonna just follow her. But we're gonna find out where we could follow her and her Be It Action Items for us in just a brief second. Lesley Logan 33:50  All right, Jenny. So people are gonna want to binge out on all of your content. They want to like literally get all of this reminders all the time, because my goodness, I agree. Ladies, please keep showing up and showing yourself out there in the world. It doesn't have to be on social media, because it helps people see all the different beauties that are out there. But where can people find you follow you and connect with you?Jenny Schatzle 34:10  Thank you. Yeah, Instagram is my biggest platform. So come to my Instagram, I answer all my DMs. So if you have questions, please message me. I love to hear from you guys. Yeah. And I just, I hope that you, we are all here for the conversation. And we're out there breaking the cycle, because it is not easy. This is one of the hardest things. (Inaudible) I'm 10 years sober. And this is way harder than getting sober. Right? Like learning to accept your body and who you are. But every time, every single listener out there, every time you show up as your authentic self, you give women around you permission to do the same.Lesley Logan 34:46  Yeah, you do. You know like there's so much that you have taught me from before I had you on the pod from when I just got to know you and to follow you. And then different times I have been able to experience you. You're right, there are certain things that are ingrained in us and I'll say it are all here (inaudible) hold on that's actually not how I feel about myself. That's not how I want to feel. And you help me be it till I see it. So I know you're gonna help our listeners. Before I let you go bold, executable, intrinsic, targeted steps people can take to be it till they see it. What do you have for us? Jenny Schatzle 35:18  Oh, I love it. Okay, one, the breath. We went over there. And that was a huge tool. It doesn't cost you anything. You can do it at any time. Two, we both have this tool, set your timers. Alright? Let's get on a time, let's like start something. Can we like, we're going to start.Lesley Logan 35:31  Let's do a timer challenge. Jenny Schatzle 35:32  A challenge like we'll come up with (inaudible) together, make it official. And then the third thing is, and I'm just gonna be honest, this is again, it sounds like a cheesy self-help thing and it's changed my life. People, you got to journal, I'm coming out with a 90 ways in 90 days, and it's 90 days of body image journal prompts. So keep your eye out on that. But even before that, people throw this tool away. Like it's like, it's so funny. I think a lot of times, we make things harder than they need to Lesley Logan 36:04  Yeah, because I'm gonna tell you, my listeners are gonna want to know what should they journal?Jenny Schatzle 36:07  (Inaudible) 90 ways in 90 days to love your body. And so, but for now, until that comes out. For now, again, set your timer. Okay, here's what you do. Sit down, do your breath. Set your timer for five minutes. And literally write everything that's going on in your head. I call it free writing. It's just even if you're writing, I don't know what to write, the thoughts will start to come out. It's five minutes. Don't worry about grammar. Don't worry about punctuation. This is again, one of such an easy tool that doesn't cost money that will literally, five minutes today, it can change your life. And it boosts creativity. If you're feeling stuck not only in your body, but in work or in your family or in your relationships. Guaranteed. If you were to start free writing five minutes a day, in 30 days, things would be different.Lesley Logan 36:56  I agree. Okay. I can't wait for your journal to come out. You have to let me know so I can promote it here on the pod and share with people. (inaudible) Oh, please, please, please. I'm so in. I am, I love a good prompt and I actually think that there's so many journals out there that are prompting us about mantras and affirmations. But like this is the journal that all these women are needing and imagine what's gonna happen, oh my God, I can't wait, there's got to be a 90-day challenge, we're gonna have to do that, too. So just let me know when we're all signed up for that. Jenny Schatzle, every time I see you, you just bring so much joy to my heart and my life and no matter where my level of vibration was, which is already in a great spot. I'm already in another spot and I've learned so much from you. So thank you for being the woman that you are and really helping all of us. And I'm not getting, my, my entire Agency community like follows you and we put you in this one channel because you also have helped, you know, for Pilates instructors, we want to say things that are gonna be helpful for our clients. And so in that channel, the girl is like instead of saying like, oh, you look like you've lost weight, which is a thing that a Pilates instructor or gym teacher could end up saying to people in that environment would can be what used to be considered appropriate. But instead it's like, oh, you look so strong today. Oh, I love that you did this exercise. Wow, you're so fun to be around. You're like, your energy's amazing class. Like, all those things are super complimentary, make people feel so seen and have nothing to do with their actual body. Like what it looks like, which is so great. So you have really been such a part of our lives in that way. So thank you. Y'all, how are you going to use these tips in your life? Please let Jenny Schatzle know. Tag her. Tag the Be It Pod and you send this to a friend, send this to the friend who's complaining about her bathing suit so that she can hear it from us instead of you. If you don't feel comfortable telling her yet right and and so, thank you so much everyone and until next time, be it till you see it.Lesley Logan 38:50  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Lesley Logan 39:18  Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod. Brad Crowell 39:33  It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell. Lesley Logan 39:38  It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co. Brad Crowell 39:42  Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi. Lesley Logan 39:49  Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals. Brad Crowell 39:53  Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/be-it-till-you-see-it/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Huge thanks to Dossier Perfumes for partnering up with me in this video! Perfume Fragrance mentioned in the video: Fruity Magnolia (inspired by Versace's Bright Crystal)Click the link: https://dossier.co/collections/fragrances and check out all the wonderful fragrances they have to offer! Hellolololololo my beautiful butterfly

Right now you're aware of one of your bodies speaking, and another one of your bodies listening. Right now, some of your bodies are walking down the street outside. Some of your bodies are in offices already. Some of your bodies are in traffic. Some of your bodies are still sleeping. Some are just rising, some are seated in meditation right now, eyes closed in a cave. They've been there for decades, centuries, aeons,  in the Himalayas. Some are chanting, some are crying, some of your bodies are singing, some are doing yoga. You're the Love that they're meditating in, the Love they're meditating on. You're the Love they're walking through,  the love They're walking on.   The ground you're standing on is Holy. ************** Support the show: ▶▶https://www.patreon.com/goodmornings "l am a forest fire And I am the fire, and I am the forest And I am a witness watching it I stand in a valley watching it" -Burning Hill by Mitski  "Give a specific period to this each day, and do not let yourself watch for results. In due time, fruitage will appear in some form of harmony within yourself, your home, your family, or your business, art, or profession. As fruitage appears, raise your consciousness to take in the weather, elections, national, and international relationships. Remember that none of these subjects enters your thought while in meditation. You may not even think of peace on earth. Just be still. Listen with the invisible ear for the inaudible Word. You are thus ushering in the kingdom of God on earth as it is in heaven. All power is in the hands of the Infinite, the Eternal, and it operates through grace. How do you make this come true? By knowing it. This truth cannot make you free without you knowing it." - Joel Goldsmith, The Government of Eden  "Blessed are the man and the woman who have grown beyond their greed and have put an end to their hatred and no longer nourish illusions. But they delight in the way things are and keep their hearts open, day and night. They are like trees planted near flowing rivers, which bear fruit when they are ready. Their leaves will not fall or wither. Everything they do will succeed." - Psalm 1  "Whenever feeling downcast, each person should vitally remember, 'For my sake, the entire world was created." -Baal Shem Tov

Join Lesley and Brad as they explore the journey of self-discovery, inspired by Ryan Lang's transformative insights. This episode dives into how a deeper understanding of oneself can enhance your contributions to society. Lesley and Brad share strategies for shedding limiting beliefs and spotlighting your true identity. Together, they discuss the power of minor, daily actions in creating significant life changes and a lasting impact on the world.If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co. And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.In this episode you will learn about:How self-improvement enriches your life and the lives around you.Strategies to shift emphasis from external validations to cultivating your true self.Why understanding your identity sets a solid foundation for achieving goals. Insights on making small consistent steps to empower you to the best version of yourself. Episode References/Links:May AcceleratorCambodia Feb 2025 Early BirdOPC Summer CampRyan Lang InstagramRyan Lang's FacebookRyan Lang's WebsiteRyan Lang's LinkedIn  If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. DEALS! Check out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper's Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox Be in the know with all the workshops at OPCBe It Till You See It Podcast SurveyBe a part of Lesley's Pilates MentorshipFREE Ditching Busy Webinar  Resources:Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!Lesley Logan websiteBe It Till You See It PodcastOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley LoganOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTubeProfitable Pilates Follow Us on Social Media:InstagramFacebookLinkedIn  Episode Transcript:Lesley Logan 0:00  He said I believe that I and we, collectively, are so well positioned to help so many people who in turn are going to go out and help others. And I think this is like something that I always tell people like how is self-care not selfish care? Because if you fucking like yourself you're just nicer people. Lesley Logan 0:16  Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.  Lesley Logan 0:58  Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview recap where my co-host in life, Brad, and I are going to dig into the redefining convo I had with Ryan Lang in our last episode. If you haven't yet listened to that now, go back and listen to that one and then come back and join us or listen to this one and then listen to that one. Whatever you want to do if this is your first time here, hello. Brad Crowell 1:14  Welcome.Lesley Logan 1:15  Brad is my husband. My name is Lesley I never introduced myself on this.Brad Crowell 1:18  Wow (inaudible) just very rare. Spelled L-E-S-L-E-Y. What?Lesley Logan 1:22  I don't think I ever introduced myself on any podcast that we have. So, okay, anyways, thank you for being here. Thanks for being part of this, we are going to get into it. So today is April 18th and it's National Exercise Day. About this day, it's a day to encourage everyone to participate in physical activities. Exercise enhances our general health by giving us more energy, making us feel better, and even extending our lives by years. Regular physical activity and exercise have several health benefits that are impossible to overlook. Everyone, regardless of age, gender, or physical ability, benefits from exercise. Build new habits. So you guys exercise does not mean like burn yourself to the ground and overdo it on this day. I was listening to some podcast and she's like, yeah, you know, when you're like feeling good at a workout, you just got back into it. So you just like I'm gonna do two more things. And it's like, no, if this is your first day exercising this week, maybe like, intentional movement matters, okay? And I think if you don't like the word exercise, or working out if those those things like cause you any stress or worry or guilt, then intentional movement is what you want. That's what you want, intentional movement, get that blood flow going. Okay, so we're in Nashville right now, we come back from Nashville, hang with pups for a few days, and then remind them who loves them, and then leave them again. And we're gonna be at the Pilates on tour in Phoenix. So super, super excited about this come see us in person, April 26th to the 28th. Brad Crowell 2:41  Big, big event. Lesley Logan 2:42  It's one of their biggest it's more people than they've ever had in Pilates On Tour that I've ever been to. And there's a big huge party on Saturday night because Pilates anytime so come see us we'll have some flashcards and some other things. So come check us out. May Accelerator. So, the April Accelerator was so great. So many people loved it and also learned from it and so many people missed it. So Brad is doing another one. So go to prfit.biz/accelerator this is where you're, if you're a teacher or studio owner, you're going to learn how to grow your biz and particularly if you work for yourself. So if you're an employee somewhere, if you, you can come if you're wanting to not be an employee somewhere but it's best for people who get to actually make their own decisions in their business. So prfit.biz/accelerator and what day in May, Brad, do we know? Brad Crowell 3:31  Sure. Just get on the list. Lesley Logan 3:35  If you hit that it'll tell you. Brad Crowell 3:36  I do, I do have it somewhere I just don't know off the top of my head. Lesley Logan 3:38  And then also in May we are actually doing another earlybird for Cambodia because well we over we've sold out. Brad Crowell 3:46  We definitely have a large group coming in October, which is just really amazing and exciting. Lesley Logan 3:51  It's so amazing. It's so amazing. So (inaudible).Brad Crowell 3:53  We actually have more interests. So we opened up February 25. Lesley Logan 3:56  Yeah, opened up February and it's a really good time to come. It's going to be after Lunar New Year celebrations. And so it's just at the tail end of what would be considered high season for travel there, which means it's not a lot of people there. It's before it gets too hot and it's just a really lovely time also, I do really love the sunrises in February, so I'm just gonna be really honest, like October is amazing and the weather is phenomenal and everything is green. But in February the sunrises are just really, really cool. It will be about a month, actually like two weeks off of like, what would be the spring equinox which means you just have to turn your phone a little bit and then your sunrise is directly over in core. So go to Lesley Logan. L-E-S-L-E-Y as we talked about earlier L-O-G-A-N.co/retreat. (lesleylogan.co/retreat)Brad Crowell 4:36  That'll get you on the waitlist. Lesley Logan 4:38  Yeah, they'll get you on the waitlist which means if you're on the waitlistBrad Crowell 4:40  (Inaudible) announcement. Yeah, only those on the waitlist, get the early bird announcement.Lesley Logan 4:44  Once you hear it publicly on the socials and stuff. It's because it's full price. Yeah. And then also coming up huge, humongous deal. Brad Crowell 4:53  Big deal, y'all. Lesley Logan 4:53  Big deal. We are doing the biggest ever OPC summer camp. I think it's one of the biggest events ever. Definitely one of the biggest virtual events ever for Pilates lovers of all kinds at all levels. It's only two days. It's the first weekend of June. The workshops are all virtual and workouts and there's a lifetime access to them. And so there's no excuses to not get your ticket. But this time, you can buy a day pass or you can buy ala carte. If you're an OPC member, you're actually going to get the earliest of early bird tickets, which you may have already gotten those emails by the time this comes out. And then if you're on the waitlist, you get a different early bird pricing, not as goes OPC members, but still really good, better than the public early bird. And then once you hear publicly, it's the public early bird and then it's full price. Brad Crowell 5:35  It's the recurring theme here, y'all even though we may already have your email, get yourself on this waitlist because we're not going to add you to them. You have to add yourself.Lesley Logan 5:41  You have to add yourself. Why? Because you have to raise your hand for the things you want in this life. Brad Crowell 5:44  That's right. Lesley Logan 5:46  Hi, I'm an elder millennial and you gotta work for it. Okay. All right. So before we get into Ryan's amazing takeaways, we have an audience question? Brad Crowell 5:54  Yeah, we did. This was a great one from Meghan MBE on IG, I shortened your last name, Meghan. But she asked, hey, hey, how do you feel about music in a Pilates class? How about background music? What about choreographed Pilates class that goes to music? Is any of this frowned upon? Lesley Logan 6:10  Yeah, so it's not here's the thing, legal, there's legal things to think about here versus like, like, what's going on? So is it frowned upon? No, I don't put exercises to music beats because the reality is, is like that, I'm not a spin class teacher, I'm not a bar teacher, I'm not a dance teacher. If you come from a dance world, and that's a strength you have, and that's a style you like to teach, that's fine. As a classical teacher, here's what I love, we start with a hundred, we do push-ups, put a theme in there. And for me, I literally do not play any music on anything that is online for us. And that's for a reason. It's very expensive to get licensed music of any kind that anyone would recognize, ever. And so. And by the way, when I apparently when I was teaching classes at Equinox, I was illegally using music. Oops, I didn't know. Brad Crowell 7:02  But also too, I think your class has to be up to speed. You know, like, sometimes if people are learning any of the moves, and you've got like, okay, we're gonna do this now. Now, now, because you got to choreograph, you might be leaving people behind (inaudible). Brad Crowell 7:11  Yeah, yeah. That's also why it works for a bar class or a dance class, because you can repeat the moves, whereas in Pilates, we don't do that. Brad Crowell 7:14  (Inaudible) to repeat the moves. That doesn't happen in Pilates. So, yeah. Lesley Logan 7:29  Maybe you do 10 reps, but you're not usually going back to an exercise unless you're replacing something you can't do yet with something you can. So.Brad Crowell 7:35  I was thinking about your the stint you did about step up classes that you're doing. Lesley Logan 7:41  Oh, my little stint. Yeah. Brad Crowell 7:42  And they were but it was like, they would teach you the move. And then you would do the moves. And then you would do a second move. And then you'd merge those two together, and do both moves, and then you do a third and add it in. It's repetitional until you actually like, get it.Lesley Logan 7:53  And then at the end, they added the music. And then we did to music. We didn't learn it to music. And so that's another thing like, like, you just have to decide like, how you how you turn the music on and off. So I did background music, when I work in studios on tour, whatever background music they're playing, that is fine with me. I hope they have the rights to it. I'm not involved. But also, like, we had an incredible webinar about music licensing. And just because you pay for your Spotif y doesn't mean you're licensing for business. And you can't, y'all can get in trouble for doing this. Brad can talk about that. But I because I don't know the name of these people. But like, it's a real big deal. You wouldn't like it if people were using your stuff for free. Brad Crowell 8:33  So you know, yeah, they're called PROs performance rights organizations, and they literally have people out in the field, you know, like secret shoppers, they do the same thing for music, it exists. You know, and they are the, they're the in between the go between, for where music is played, whether that's a radio station, or like a theater or something. And the artists themselves and they effectively represent the artists and they say, Hey, you guys gotta pay for the music. You're playing in your lobby, because these guys over here wrote it, and they, you know, you're using their product. So anyway, that's what those PROs actually do. But it's long and complicated to be honest. We just intentionally don't record music because it just cuts the whole thing out.Lesley Logan 9:16  Yep. Yep. Makes it easy. Anyways, I hope this was helpful for you. Brad Crowell 9:20  Great question, Meghan. Thank you for asking it. Lesley Logan 9:22  And you guys, just send in your questions, and we will answer them in detail on the podcast.Brad Crowell 9:27  Yeah, do it. All right. Now let's talk about Mr. Ryan Lang. He's the founder of Whole Performance Coaching and co-founder of Empire Partners. Ryan brings over two decades of experience from building an eight-figure energy business to consulting for notable clients like the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. His approach to coaching is deeply influenced by his insights into identity's impact on performance. Identity's impact on performance, that's an interesting thing to say. And I, I think there's a there was just a really, really interesting conversation. I didn't actually know any of Ryan's backstory even though we know him I had never sat down and like just listened to him share so I enjoyed this conversation a lot actually.Lesley Logan 10:10  Yeah I thought it was really fun I think it's interesting is like when we meet people when they're at like this new top of their life we like know this we know that the Brad Crowell 10:19  We only know the today. Lesley Logan 10:20  We don't know the before Ryan and I don't know the don't, gonna be honest right? Not sure we've been friends. Not sure. Not in a bad way I don't know if our paths may have crossed. I don't think you wouldn't like me either. Anyways, I love that he said this, the more internal work I did on myself the more I was looking at what I was getting back to the world. And this is when he was talking about how he was just like sucking badly at like giving back to the world. He just really wasn't. And.Brad Crowell 10:55  It wasn't just the world. It was like his family, his daughters, his life. Lesley Logan 10:59  Yeah, and you know and so I think, we were recently listening to someone else yesterday on a call. And they were talking about like, someone was complaining to her boss. And the coach was like, Well, what do you think your boss needs? Well, have you thought about giving your boss what they need? And it was interesting thing, because it's like, of course, you'll gonna go what a shit boss. Fuck that boss. And then it's like, oh, burn, what have you been doing? But like, also, the idea is like, yes, there are gross narcissists out there. There's terrible people, of course. But what are you bringing to the environment that you're in, to people that are around you, and you can change the environment you're in, just by being a person who's giving the environment what it needs, and what the people around you need. And so the more internal work he did, he was able to look around and see what he was giving back. And you can, it can be a really nice mirror. And so I really appreciate him sharing that internal work. And I think we can all use more. I think it's a really good time to step in and go, what am I doing? How am I attributing or contributing to the world and we all need contribution, we all need to contribute for to feel like we're part of society, community growing in this world. Brad Crowell 12:07  Yeah, he talked about how he like really hated himself. He said something that really struck a chord with me, I was gonna say profound, but.Lesley Logan 12:16  I thought you were going to say poignant, (inaudible) you love poignant. Brad Crowell 12:21  He struck a chord with me when he said, based on the actions that I had taken, I started to tell myself my own identity. Right? So for example, he said he was driving on sales, he was working remotely. So he's driving around, you know, and he's away from his family. And he's like, I guess, because of my company that I started that I, you know, my partners and I have done, I guess, I'm just that dad who's going to be absent. I guess that's just who I am. And that I that really, really hit me hard. What because I remember with my, my ex-wife, thinking, I made the decision that we are going to be married. And so I guess this is just what marriage is. And it fucking sucks. You know? And I was like, okay, I signed up for this next 50 years. And I literally told myself this, and I was just like, resigned to this idea of like, this thing that I was, I felt very stuck in. Right? And that shaped me. That really, really made me sad. Because I wasn't enjoying the relationship. I was shocked. I was actually more shocked that this was the relationship the experience of being married than anything else. I was like, this is not what my expectations were in any way. Right? But and I was like, I guess I'm in. I guess meant for it now. Because I went through with it.Lesley Logan 13:47  Yeah, I feel like there's some sentences like I just, this is just who I am. Whenever you hear yourself, say this is just the way it is. Or this is just who I am. That you are creating a obstacle, a block a limiting belief in that moment, that if you were able to step outside yourself and actually hear someone else say that about themselves, you would never, you would never here's what I know, you didn't say this out loud anyone. And he didn't say this out loud anyone. And if you, because if you had something like no way, dude, that is not you don't have to be this person. That's not who you were.Brad Crowell 14:19  Yeah, I bet my ex did say this out loud to her best friend. And she clearly wasn't happy in the relationship either. Right? And so she's the one that ultimately pulled the plug. And that's where the catalyst of change happened in my life. Where is with Ryan, what I found really interesting is he, he actually said, I don't remember what was the moment but I just remember there was a day that I said, I can't keep doing this anymore. And that's when the change started to happen. And it really shifted. That's when he started working more on himself because he said I hated myself. I didn't like who I was becoming. The story I was telling myself was shit. I felt like shit. And he got really, really dark, you know, internally. And then, you know, when he made that decision, alright, this cannot continue, or else what's the point? You know, he started to work on himself and tell himself different stories and shift and change and draw lines in the sand and he contacted his wife and he said, hey, do you actually want to try to fix this thing? You know, and he said, I want to be a better dad. And you know, and I think the thing was, it was all rigged, in spite of the thing that he thought he had to do, which was his job, right, this company that he started and this thing he signed up for, and for me, it was my marriage, this commitment that I have made, right? And he said, when, you know, I'm going to make a change, despite my job. Right? And for my ex and I was, we're going to make a change despite our marriage. Right? And so anyway. Lesley Logan 15:54  I'm really grateful for your ex-wife. I'm just gonna say that. I think it's so important for people to hear. Brad Crowell 15:58  Yeah. You know what, me too, be honest. Lesley Logan 16:01  Yeah. I mean, like, shout out to her for like, realizing like, I should pull this because now you and I are together. Brad Crowell 16:06  Well, there's that for sure. But also, I wasn't, I wasn't very happy. I really wasn't happy. I was becoming a very dark person. Lesley Logan 16:13  Yeah. Lastly, and then we'll talk about what you loved. I think we can wrap this up with what he said. I believe that I and we, collectively, are so well positioned to help so many people who in turn are going to go out and help others. And I think this is like something that I always tell people like how is self-care, not selfish care? Because if you fucking like yourself, you're just nicer people.Brad Crowell 16:33  Yeah. And so this is the other side of his story, right? This is today, or now he is like, he's a completely different person than he was, you know, 10 years ago. I don't know what the timeline actually was, his relationship with his wife is healthier. He's being a dad on purpose, all that kind of stuff. And today with his, with his company, he gets to help people help people.Lesley Logan 16:54  Yeah, and I think that's like, that's the reason why I believe more buyers should do Pilates is because when you take care of yourself, you change the lives of the people around you, when you fill your cup, you are a completely different person than when your cup is drained. Brad, drained and pissed and in his last marriage, not a nice person to the barista, not, I'm sure not still not an asshole, because you were in the service industry, but just like not seeing like the potential out there. But you know, when you when you can change how you help people, and you can change how you see yourself. And you can start to see that when I take care of me and I give out to the world, it makes the people around me better and then they make those people, it's a domino effect of the world being a better place. So anyways, I just love that. Okay, your turn. Brad Crowell 17:40  Yeah. Well, what I thought was interesting, was the two of you went down this really cool conversation about the what, you know, versus the who. And at first, I was like, this is obscure, I don't really I'm not connecting the dots here. But you kept talking about which I'm really glad you did, because it kind of brought it home for me. Ryan's initial company, the job that he signed up for the job, the life he created, was in pursuit of money. Right? And that's not necessarily a bad thing. But that was the thing that was it. And he said, actually, what I've what I was pursuing was the what. And the what was how do I get paid? As opposed to how do I pursue the who? And the who is who do I want to be in what I am doing? Right? And I thought this is so profound. It made me go back to, this is so poignant. This made me think back to Lesley Logan 18:40  It struck a chord with me. Brad Crowell 18:42  This struck a chord. This really resonated with me, this took me back to high school, where I was like, what do I want to do with my life? That's the fucking question that we all ask. What do I want to do with my life? (inaudible)Lesley Logan 18:52  They ask little kids, what do you want to do? Brad Crowell 18:54  Yeah. What do you want to be when you grow up?Lesley Logan 18:55  My sister's response? An adult.Brad Crowell 18:57  I love that response. I think that's the wrong question to be asking, "What do you want to be?" I think it's, "Who do you want to be? How do you want to live? How do you want to treat people?" And then the what will find itself. It comes together. I never fucking imagined in any way shape or form that I would be involved in Pilates. Ever. I didn't even know what Pilates was until I was in my 30s. If you asked me when I was 18. I don't know, I would have told you I wanted to be a pro soccer player or something. You know, but who did I want to be? What a profound difference my life would have had. Lesley Logan 18:57  It would have had a poignant moment. Brad Crowell 19:32  It would have had a poignant difference in the cultivation of Brad's resonance with the, he said by not paying attention to who, and instead focusing on what, we literally become whatever it is we're chasing, which is the what, and then we wake up one day and go holy crap, who the hell is this? Who the hell am I? Right? I really, really appreciated the conversation that you had around that.Lesley Logan 19:59  Well, thank you. I appreciate it. I just thought it was a great, I'm so grateful for Ryan. We had a really great conversation. I came out of it going, I learned a lot today. Brad Crowell 20:05  Yeah, I think we have an opportunity if we've not ever thought about the who. Why not start thinking about the who today? Because we wouldn't, we most likely inadvertently dedicated our lives to the what? You know, what do I want to do, what do I want to be, how is it gonna go?Lesley Logan 20:23  (Inaudible) like, what do you do for a living? So no one asked me like, who are you? And I was who was I with? Oh, we're having her back on, Mel Dolman. She'll ask people like, oh, how do you like to spend your time because like, it allows for people get out of the oh, I do this for a living, but it actually was at South by Southwest. And so it's like a networking, you know, whatever. And everyone's like, this is how amazing it is. And she was just like, oh, how do you spend your time if you're like, what? Brad Crowell 20:49  Right, exactly. Lesley Logan 20:50  It's like what do you, what do you do with your time? Like, what do you like to do with it? Brad Crowell 20:54  But I, but thinking about this, like, you know, if you have never thought about who you want to be and you're already quote-unquote resigned to what's happening in your world might be finding yourself in a similar position as Ryan, right? And you know, so but Lesley Logan 21:11  Don't be old Ryan. Brad Crowell 21:12  It's not, it's not too late to start asking yourself the question, "Who do I want to be?" You know, who would I want to be now?Lesley Logan 21:19  I mean, that's the be it till you see it thing.Brad Crowell 21:22  Yep. Love it. All right. Finally, let's talk about those Be It Action Items. Say it with me y'all. What bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted action items can we take away from your convo with Ryan Lang? Again, Lesley Logan 21:23  Why are you saying his name like that? Ryan Lang, come on down, welcome to The Price is Right.Brad Crowell 21:44  So he said start with the who like we were just talking about. First and foremost, don't do anything before you figure out the who. This emphasizes the importance of self-identity before taking action on the what? Before you even sit out on your annual goals ask how do I want to show up this year? Who do I want to be? I love this. I think this is fantastic.Lesley Logan 22:07  I also think you can, by the way, you guys can start new a new year today. You don't have to like oh, you know, it's April. Brad Crowell 22:13  Yeah, I guess I'll start in eight months.Brad Crowell 22:15  Just so you know, like it was just the combined new year. So it's like there's like literally a new year at different times of the day depending on like where where you are what religion you have, like you can have, you can have a, you can try the new moon. Okay, so like you could just start this now. And you can change how your trajectory is going by starting with who. Which leads to what are some small steps that I can take literally every day and hammer in that nail? Now just a side note, shout out to Anthony our yoga teacher do not hammer your actual nail don't do it. It's not pretty. Hope his palm is getting better. (Inaudible) I love him so much. I'm sure he doesn't listen. Anyways, but what are like when you think about the who be it till you see it means work backwards. And what are some steps you can literally take every day but so if you're, if the who is someone who is like bright and shiny, has great energy for their children, what do you have to do every day to have energy for your children? What would that look like? Is it more sleep? Is it more water? Is it more vegetables? Yeah, just just a shameless plug for you know, the ad there. But you know so think about that. And I think that those two questions are something you can ponder, percolate, pontificate on just using Brad's ridiculous amount of words he uses to like, draw attention to a thing that he's thinking. Lesley Logan 22:16  Very poignant, babe. Lesley Logan 22:18  It really is. To helping you figure out the who and how to make the who who you are today. It's how to be it till you see it. I mean, it feel like he just like summed up how to be it till you see it right there in his action items. I was just gonna say, like, put that on the, on the board. Brad Crowell 23:50  Well, the small steps, you know, what I thought was cool about this was he was talking about the what if you're in a place where you just feel like you're lying to yourself, right? Because he's like, what do I, like, you know, I was, I started to smile about certain things, but I felt like it was fake, you know, and it but it's a small step that you can take to start the change. There will come a point along the path that you believe it, you know, that you actually live it, you are it. And that is the be it moment. So when you look in the mirror, you actually believe that you're becoming the person. Lesley Logan 24:23  You'll probably won't actually see the day that it happened. It won't be like ding-ding-ding-ding. It'll just have like slowly happened, just like Brad Crowell 24:30  You have arrived. Lesley Logan 24:32  Yeah, just to say in the same way that it slowly happened the other way for him. Anyways, I'm Lesley Logan. Brad Crowell 24:38  And I'm Brad Crowell. Lesley Logan 24:38  Thank you so much for listening to this podcast today. We are so grateful for you. How are you going to use these tips in your life? We want to know. Tag the Be It Pod, tag Ryan Lang. Make sure you share with him how his episode may have changed your life or what you what you were thinking about doing. It means a lot to our guests and it means a lot to this podcast. It's how this podcast gets found. So leave us a review. Send in a question. What else can I ask you to do? Share this with a friend. And until next time, be it till you see it. Brad Crowell 25:03  Bye for now. Lesley Logan 25:04  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Lesley Logan 25:32  Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.  Brad Crowell 25:47  It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell. Lesley Logan 25:52  It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.Brad Crowell 25:56  Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi. Lesley Logan 26:03  Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals. Brad Crowell 26:07  Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/be-it-till-you-see-it/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Ryan Lang challenges the traditional notions of high achievement, introducing listeners to the concept of whole performance. By sharing his story of personal downfall and rebirth, Lang illustrates the dangers of one-dimensional success. He offers guidance on aligning personal identity with broader life goals, ensuring that success is measured not just by professional achievements but by overall life satisfaction.If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co. And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.In this episode you will learn about:The key differences between achieving and performing.Ryan Lang's turning point towards a purposeful life.The transformative power of finding one's passion.The methods for consciously crafting a desired identity.Importance of aligning goals with personal identity.Episode References/Links:Ryan Lang on InstagramRyan Lang on FacebookEmpire PartnersRyan Lang's WebsiteRyan Lang's LinkedInSales Program - www.closeeveryone.comGuest Bio:Ryan Lang combines his expertise in sales, marketing, and human optimization with transformative whole performance coaching principles to take high achievers and businesses to the next level. He is the founder of Whole Performance Coaching, Lang Properties, Inc., and co-founder of Empire Partners. He has coached, managed and mentored 1000+ professionals over a 20 year span and worked alongside Rory Vaden, Russ Ruffino, and other notable thought leaders. In addition, Ryan has consulted with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, New York Yankees, Precision Nutrition, and Conoco Phillips. Prior to his current companies, Ryan was instrumental in building a 8-figure service firm in the energy sector, where he was responsible for the acquisition and divestiture of over $100 million in oil & gas properties, royalties and leases. In addition to 30 years of study in the fields of human psychology, sales and performance, Ryan holds certifications from Digital Marketer, The Transformational Coaching Academy, NASM, Precision Nutrition and Institute for Integrative Nutrition.   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. DEALS! Check out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper's Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox Be in the know with all the workshops at OPCBe It Till You See It Podcast SurveyBe a part of Lesley's Pilates MentorshipFREE Ditching Busy Webinar  Resources:Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!Lesley Logan websiteBe It Till You See It PodcastOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley LoganOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTubeProfitable Pilates Follow Us on Social Media:InstagramFacebookLinkedIn  Episode Transcript:Ryan Lang 0:00  We can play at a really high level in one area to the detriment of so many other areas of our lives. And to me that is not high performance. High performance is really what I call whole performance. And that's being able to play at a high level in every area of your life. Yes, we're not robots, the meters are gonna move up and down just a little bit. But you're never in a situation where one thing is like way up here, and something else is just a dumpster fire. Lesley Logan 0:29  Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started. Lesley Logan 1:11  Okay loves, get ready. We got a great story for you. We got a great journey for you. We've got some great nuggets like mic drop nuggets, like you're gonna want to rewind, hold on, what did he just say? Like he was saying this one thing? Also, I should tell you, our guest is Ryan Lang, he was saying this one thing that I was just like, if you're watching our podcasts on YouTube, my hair bun is like nodding for me. It was everything. It was like the best encapsulated question, you could ask yourself to be it till you see it. So get ready. I'm not going to talk anymore, because I'm going to let Ryan do it for us. Ryan Lang is our guest today. Here he is. Lesley Logan 1:47  All right, Be It babe, I'm so excited. I have a dear friend, Brad and I got to meet him in real life recently. And his name is Ryan Lang. And what he's doing is like, it's just really amazing. And I love his take on it. So we're gonna dive into his unique take on identity and things like that. So Ryan, can you tell everyone who you are and what you rock at? Ryan Lang 2:06  Yeah, Lesley, I'm so first of all, thank you for having me. And I'm so excited to spend some time with you. So I'm the CEO of a company called Empire Partners. And at our core, really, we're a business consulting firm. And we specialize really in the coaching space, though. We have deep backgrounds in the coaching industry and have worked for and consulted for some, I mean, really, the biggest coaching companies on the face of the planet. And Empire really exists to help coaches become profitable business owners, a lot of coaches know how to coach very well, very few of them are profitable business owners. So that's empire. And then, for me, personally, I am a high performance coach. And so that's something that I've been obsessed with for a very long time, I kind of went through, you know, quite a journey that we can, you know, get into if you want on our podcast today. But I went through quite a journey in the business world building an eight figure business and kind of watching it and myself burned to the ground. And having to reinvent myself, hence, a lot of my study and work around identity. And so, you know, I really work directly one on one with a handful of high achievers, entrepreneurs, executives, business owners, and help them play at a high level in every area of their lives, which is what I call whole performance.Lesley Logan 3:30  Very cool. Okay, so you've got your hands in a lot of things. I love that there's coaches for coaches, because same thing I coach a lot of Pilates instructors, because they're amazing at what they do, and they're not often very good at business. Ryan Lang 3:42  Yes, yes. Very true. Lesley Logan 3:45  You know, I'm like, oh, please don't do what you're doing that you're gonna lose your house with that model. Like you have to separate yourself. So Ryan, I do want to like something that just came to my mind, and we can dive more into your journey. But you said high performance coach, and something that I'm curious about. And you also said high achiever, which is very different than I think an over like, overachiever. Like I'm recovering perfectionist, overachiever. Is there a difference between high performance and high achieving or like, do you know what I mean? Like, should we be striving for high performance, but not like, I guess I'm wondering, like, how you differentiate those things and those personality traits? Because I know a lot of our listeners are perfectionist, overachiever type personalities?Ryan Lang 4:27  Yeah, absolutely. So I'm going to make, this is a really good distinction. And I'm going to, I'm going to rephrase it just a little bit because I actually think it's exactly the same thing. So high achievement is really what I think most perceive most people identify as high performance. And most of the time when we're talking about high achievers or high performers, we have a tendency to do that somewhat interchangeably. And it's usually someone who has made it you know, who's shown a significant amount of progress or capability or results in one area, typically, right. And so what I would redefine this as actually, one of the reasons that I started my whole performance program was because of the fact that I realized I fell into this category as that I, you know, many of my contemporaries as entrepreneurs and business owners, in that we can play at a really high level in one area, to the detriment of so many other areas of our lives. And to me, that is not high performance. High performance is really what I call whole performance. And that's being able to play at a high level in every area of your life. Yes, we're not robots, the meters are going to move up and down just a little bit. But you're never in a situation where one thing is like way up here. And something else is just a dumpster fire. Lesley Logan 5:57  Right. Like your, your work is like insanely amazing. And your relationship is like, there's not there's no relationships. Got it. So like, okay, that I actually love that you brought that distinction, because I do think people use it interchangeably. And I think that it's your I like your idea of like a high performance is more, is whole, like it's more balanced. And like you have yeah, I think that that's really cool. Because it was just something that came to my mind. I was like, hold on, wait a minute. We don't often talk about high performers. A lot of people are high achievers or overachievers. And that's interesting. Okay. So I want to go back to your journey a little bit, though, how did you get into coaching, and then also that little bit of a burnout journey that brought you to where you are like, because I do think, you know, I had a coach who said, you can never take people's rock bottoms away. And I know, people are all like trying to protect their kids from like a rock bottom. But like, really, we learn the most from these these journeys. So I would love to hear your advice. Ryan Lang 6:50  Yeah, so I, I got into the business world after spending about four years in sports radio and in broadcasting. I got into the business world, in my mid 20s. And, or early, mid-20s. And I had an opportunity in the oil and gas industry, working with my dad and a business partner, where we built a company, literally from nothing to eight figures, and it was a it was a wonderful opportunity for me and helped me learn and craft and cultivate a lot of different skill sets and understandings and all of that stuff. And over the course of time, you know, I built a hell of a skill set, I was you know, leading and managing upwards of 200 people at a time at one point. And, you know, I was making a lot of money for especially, you know, for a person, my age and living a life of freedom and doing what I wanted to do and all of that stuff. What I didn't realize was happening along the way, though, is that number one, I really was pretty much chasing a buck and a thrill, essentially, you know, my, my hedonistic setpoint was consistently getting higher and higher, and I needed more, and I just couldn't keep, you know, like, I was insatiable from that standpoint. And in conjunction with that, my wife and I had our first child, it was an amazing experience. And shortly after that, we found out unexpectedly that she was pregnant again. We didn't even know if we were gonna have another kid. And like, yeah, like, nine months later, we're like, hey, there it is, again. So we were almost Lesley Logan 8:49  Oh my gosh those are Irish twins. Ryan Lang 8:51  Very close. Yeah, very, very close to Irish twins. So when she found out that she got pregnant, it was a really tough time for her. And we, we started having a really difficult time in our relationship communication started to break down. And right around that time is like, I can look backwards now and sort of see when the pieces really started to fall apart. I spent a lot of time on the road like 75,80% of the time. And as our communication got worse and worse, I started turning into a completely different human. It was on some level somewhat self-preservation, so to speak but I literally turned myself into somebody completely different. I lived a completely different life away from home. I honestly, I think I was an absolutely terrible husband. Eventually, a really terrible boss and leader. I literally looked at myself every day and just hated what I saw in the mirror and I couldn't stop doing what I was doing. Like I just, I was on that highway to complete and total disaster. And I was not slowing down at all. And eventually, I came to a point where, you know, those things started to catch up with me and I can't even tell you how or why it happened. But God, the universe, whatever it is that you know, you believe in, I feel that I had a day where I was just like, I have to stop this or I don't know if I'm gonna make it. Like I hated myself so much internally, that I had moments where I was like, what am I doing, I might as well just get this over with.Lesley Logan 10:36  That's a really dark place to be and I think a lot of people can resonate, because it's like, I'm like thinking back to like your definition of like a high achiever versus a high performer and like, and then even like, your thoughts, and I didn't (inaudible) it's like, you probably like, this is the this is what we're doing. This is what I'm good at. This is where I'm going. And then it's like, too much of one thing is never, is never, it doesn't make you a balanced person. So yeah, that's a really hard day. Ryan Lang 11:04  It was yeah, it was, it was pretty tough. And I, I had this really, I can't even explain how or why it happened. But I had a moment of clarity one day where I was like, okay, what do you want to do here, like you got two, two roads, you can take, you can see if you can repair your marriage, maybe you can, maybe you can't, but at bare minimum, you give it a shot and commit to a different life, no matter what happens with the marriage, or you keep doing what you're doing and see how that works out for you. And so I decided to go back and you know, the Cliff's Notes version of the story is that my wife and I agreed, we, you know, we'd give it a shot. And we did, and we're still married, and our girls are amazing. And we have a great marriage now. But at that time, I realized in order to make this work, if I was really going to give it a shot, I had to not be traveling 75, 80% of the time, and at the time, we were living in a suburb of Nashville, and Franklin Tennessee, and I was traveling to Pittsburgh constantly. I had an office there. And so I went to my partners and I just said, look guys, I can't do this anymore. I have to find a way to live and work in the same place. This isn't going to work. And so we had an office in Colorado, which is where I live now and where I'm from originally in Denver, and we made an agreement for me to come and you know, do some work out of that office. And shortly after we made that move was really good thing. And everything was moving in the right direction. But I quickly fell out of love with what I was doing professionally. And I realized finally for the first time, that I had no purpose in what I was doing at all. And it never bothered me before, to be honest. But it was bothering me heavily. The more internal work I did on myself, the more I was looking at what I was giving back to the world and realizing that I was sucking really badly in that category. And I also felt like, the more that I learned and grew that I had a story that would resonate with a lot of other people, because I knew a lot of people that were in exactly the same boat as I was and they weren't making it out on the other side. So. Lesley Logan 13:18  It's almost like you were so busy. You didn't even have time to realize you had no purpose with what you're doing. And I think that's a really also tough crossroads to come to. It's like, oh, I don't you know, like, I actually don't like this, like I recall. You know, like, I when I start doing Pilates, I started to really like be in my own body and like, hear my own thoughts. And I'm like, oh, I don't like living here. And then it's like, okay, but now I know that (inaudible) right? And then I was like, oh, I don't like this job I'm in it's like, okay, so you end up with this like, amazing aha moment, but then it's like you (inaudible) your whole family to Colorado you have to. Ryan Lang 13:58  Yeah, yeah. It's the equip, I'm sure you experienced the same thing. But it's getting unplugged from the Matrix. Yeah, yeah. And once it happens, like, you can't go back. You're out. You know, like, yeah, so I, once I kind of came to that moment that was really what led me to coaching is that I I knew I wanted to do something I had no passion for my industry at all anymore. I still wanted to make money. And I knew also that I wanted autonomy. I've worked for myself for so long. I couldn't imagine the idea of going to work for somebody. And so my first foray into coaching was I spent a year just trying to figure out what I wanted to do after I left my my partnership. And I have a background as an athlete and in health and fitness and I got my first job as a personal trainer, when I was 19 years old in and did that for three or four years and I thought to myself, you know, I had a, one of the places, interestingly enough, when I was working on myself after things were such a mess and I finally sat down and was like, okay, who do you want to be? And how do you start crafting that human, the very first thing that I did was start working on myself physically, because it felt approachable to me, I knew how to do it. And I knew that if I could just commit to that, like that would be one piece that I could kind of rely on. So I got back into the health and fitness industry at that point, first, just as a personal trainer. And then eventually I fell head over heels in love with nutrition and holistic health and all of that stuff. And that's kind of what got me into coaching. And then, you know, from that place, interestingly, the further along I got, the more I realized that I yes, there's a passion for health and fitness. But really, the overriding passion was for what was going on upstairs for somebody and helping somebody perform at a really high level. Not necessarily just physically, but in all areas of their life. And I knew that I couldn't do that purely through the lens of of, you know, personal training and nutrition and that kind of thing. And that's really kind of what started bridging the gap into where I am now.Lesley Logan 16:18  That's cool. Thank you for sharing, like, take us on that journey. I do. It's I mean, as a Pilates instructor, I know there's, I can do all the things, but if you like I, you know, there's so many things are out of my scope. So I went by training mindset and habits and breath work, because like, you know, sometimes you're just like, you're my client was late all the time. And she's like, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. And I'm like, you have to actually stop apologizing to me. And you have to actually ask yourself, like, why don't you think you deserve a full 55 minute session, I'm charging you I'm sitting here like, I got a client after you. I'm like this, I getting paid. But you, this is yours. And if you only want 45 minutes, that's fine. But like, if you want the full hour, you have to ask yourself why you can't give yourself permission to leave work early, or give yourself permission to deal with the traffic. And that's what was one of those moments. I'm like, okay, hold on. That's not, it my training. Where do I get this? Because it's, it's, I can only do so much with your body. I can't, you know, like, so if your mind is not in it, and your hormones aren't like if there's so many other things to the to the puzzle. So what I mean like what a crazy journey to go from like eight figure business crazy company, that you're traveling all the time to really work on yourself, and then you're working with people. So can you, can we go into like, what was the the the lens of identity like, what were you? How is that affecting the decisions you're making or making you with the coaching you're doing? Ryan Lang 17:42  Yeah, great question. So it's when I was kind of in, you know, the thick of it before I exited my partnership. And when things were as bad as, as they were, what I realized is that looking back, of course, hindsight, always being 2020, I made a couple of decisions that I really hated. And when I made those decisions, I backed it up, I reinforced it by deciding that I was the decision that I made, oh, well, because I did this, I guess I'm just that type of person, I guess this is just who I am. And I can remember times where during that period of time, I literally I started crafting the identity of somebody that I didn't want to be and hammering it into my subconscious. So I can remember for right now, as we're having this conversation, I used to take I used to do a lot of driving when I was in, you know, in Pennsylvania, between Pennsylvania and West Virginia and Ohio, visiting clients and some other things. And I can remember driving down the road thinking to myself, well, I'm really not there for my girls, I guess that's just how it's gonna be, I guess I'm just gonna be that dad who just sends money in the mail, and they can rely on me financially. But you know, I'm not home. I guess that's just who I am. And I literally just hammered it in. It's like, you know, identity with those kinds of statements. It's literally like hammering a nail into the wall or a piece of wood. Like we hit it a couple times. And it goes in a little bit. And we hit it again. And it goes in a little bit. And eventually if we hit it enough, that soccer is going in all the way and it's you know, it's all the way in thereLesley Logan 19:30  And so difficult to pull out because like Ryan Lang 19:32  Yes, that's right. Lesley Logan 19:34  I remember listening to a Brené Brown book many, many years ago, I don't, don't ask me which book it is guys, because I only remember this line. And it was, it was there's a difference between saying like to your child who gets a bad grade, you're stupid, or who does something ridiculous and you're saying you're stupid or that was a that was a dumb thing to do. Like there's a difference between your and that and so like, and it's so, it's so common for us to go I did something I am that person, as you're saying versus like, oh, I that was a weird mistake I made or what, why did it like, like, it's so, it's so crazy how we just like bring it on and our brain is not going to like, go metal on us and go rogue and go no, no, hold on. That's not you. (Inaudible) okay, that's what I am. Ryan Lang 20:18  Yep, yep. It'll eat, it'll eat whatever you feed it. And, and you know, so when fast forward when I kind of started to when I was really kind of starting from scratch, Ryan 2.0, after I left my partnership and started over, I literally sat down with myself and one thing and I didn't even understand, I had done very little inner work to that point and I didn't even fully understand what I was doing. But one of the best decisions that I made, whether I knew I was doing it consciously or not, was that I didn't sit down and say, okay, what is it that I want my life to look like or what do I want to do in life or not even what do I want a day to look like? What I did is I sat down and I asked myself, who do I want to be? What do I want to be able to say who is the human that I want to show up as and that I want other people to see day in and day out? And that became kind of the bedrock for everything that I built. And what was interesting about that is that all of the things that had swirled around in my mind about where I wanted to go and the things I wanted to do and all of that stuff, when I focused on who I wanted to be and how I wanted to show up and what I needed to do to actually become that all of the rest of the things just came. Lesley Logan 21:52  Yeah. I mean, you just described be it till you see it. Like that's the best, that's the best question you could have asked yourself versus like, it's so easy for us to go to the day or the calendar or the the thing the action. But it really is you have to understand the who so that you can understand, like, what would that person do? Like, how would that person show up like what of those actions I would take? Well, I love that so much. And I also like, you know, it's so important, because I have done, you know, many, many years ago, one of the first times I ever did like a goals like a one-year, five-year, 10-year thing was in 2012 I think maybe 2011. And if you do it like that, it's great. You'll get what you put down guys like it's, I got like exactly put down and I got it fast. And I wrote it. But it didn't make me happy because I didn't start with the who I started with the what. And like, so I remember, like everything was going along and I'm like, okay, now I'm going to be, start to find a yoga training. I'm like, do I want to be a yoga teacher? Like I'm a Pilates? Do I need to be a yoga teacher too? Like, it was this weird question that I was like, hold on, what did I write down? Like, what were, are these my goals? And so I had to go back to the drawing board a year later and go, Okay, who is? Who am I wanting to show up as, and then let's do this again. And it's really, really important because you will get what you want. Like, you, what you put out there you'll get. It's really amazing. And also like if you put out the wrong thing, you're gonna get that thing.Ryan Lang 23:18  Amen. Amen. 100%. And I love the way that you phrase that because it's so true if we attack the what first, we don't necessarily become who we want to become in the pursuit of the what, that was literally what sent me in the wrong direction in the first place. I was in complete pursuit of the what, with no belief or understanding of who I wanted to be and how I wanted to show up in the world and all of that kind of stuff and it led me to a really, really dark place. And I think that's especially circling back to the person that identifies as a high achiever, high performer, whatever. More often than not, that's it, they get fixated on a what, and once they realize they can do the what everything else kind of goes by the wayside and they inevitably become something that they don't choose. And just the same way that we have the ability to choose who we become by not paying attention to that and not choosing we can become anything and then wake up one day and go holy crap, who the hell is this?Lesley Logan 24:25  Well, we become so like, I was just listening to another podcast where it's like, if you aren't really clear on the things you want, or the like the thing, the who you want to be it's very easy for your algorithm to serve you that like, because like, I like curate my, if I don't like what I'm saying like okay, I need to do some searching like I need to recreate this algorithm. I love being cookie guys. Like you've heard it, you've heard me say, I say it all the time (inaudible) in my life. I'm like, yep, I like that because I want you to serve it to me again later. Thank you so much. Like if you aren't intentional about these things, you'll get served. And so I have a client who is like okay, I'm on this like, have you seen like the kitchen TikTok? And she's like, I'm buying these baskets. I'm like, what are you talking about? Last week you were focusing on rugs. What are you doing buying kitchen pantry stuff? Like what? No, your your whole life is being told what you're going to be based on because you don't know what it is. You're not super clear. Yeah, it's your it's, you know, many, many years ago before social media was like, if you don't have goals, someone's goals will become yours. Like it's the same kind of thing. Yeah, yeah. So okay, so all this work, all this stuff you've got you really focus on the who? What are you excited about right now? So now that you're like, on the other side, you got this 2020 hindsight, like, what? What are you so excited about right now? What are you focusing on?Ryan Lang 25:41  Oh, man, you know, for me, I'll say this in two ways. First things first, I'll talk about what I'm kind of excited for others for, you know, when I got into the coaching space, just like any other area of entrepreneurship or business ownership, I didn't know what I didn't know. And I knew nothing at that time. So I got my ass handed to me, over and over, and over and over again. And one thing that I love a lot about where I sit right now is that I sit in a space in this moment in the work that I get to do with people and the work that Empire gets to do with people and companies where we have failed over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again. And we've watched others fail over and over and over and over and over again. So much so to the point where we figured out a lot of things that most people haven't. And one of the things that I'm most excited for is that right now, I believe that I and we collectively are so well positioned to help so many people who in turn are going to go out and help others that excites the ever living hell out of me right now. And what I love even more is that I also recognize that this isn't a place in any way, shape, or form. I believe that if I wake up one day and feel like I've arrived anywhere, I'm in big trouble. You know, it's I'm sitting in a place in this moment, personally, where what really excites me is that I'm also kind of ready for like my big shift. So, you know, the ironically, this year has kind of been a lot of my work starting on, you know, Ryan 3.0 at this point, you know, so I'm super excited personally to, to kind of take a lot of next big steps, and step into a lot of spaces that are unfamiliar and play with a whole lot of people that, you know, in the past, I thought maybe we're, you know, too far ahead. And, you know, it's gonna be a lot of fun, and I'm ready to buckle up and, you know, go fast. Lesley Logan 27:53  I love that. I think that's really cool. And I also, you know, I want to help highlight, like, back when you're Ryan 1.0 your work is all about money. And then now it's about the impact on the people. And like, I feel like that's something that I focus on, I think about a lot because we, I want as many people in the world to do Pilates, like it's I'm just obsessed, I know, it's a great thing. I also know that like, not everyone will like me, and I'm not everyone's, like, I'm also not the best teacher for you. If you've got like pelvic floor issues, there's going to be other people for that, like I have. So I love that the more I help these other teachers, the more impact that makes because they actually can get their message out to the people that they're going to help and then those people are gonna have their lives up. So like, it's kind of this thing where it's like, when you do focus on like, the amount of people you can impact, like you it really does make the work you we do, like, more exciting because it's less about, like how much we're going to charge for that and more about, like, how are we going to make how we get these many people to how you help them? How are they going to hear it, how we can help. And I think that that it makes it way more fun and it does require more work on on the part of ourselves because you gotta keep growing and learning to configure it, how to help them in a different place that they're at. So I think that's really cool. Ryan, I'm excited for you. We're gonna take a brief break everyone, and then we're going to come find out where you can work with Ryan, hear more about what he is doing, and his Be It Action Items. Lesley Logan 29:20  Alright, Ryan, where can people find you follow you connect with you more?Ryan Lang 29:23  Yeah, so you can get me on Instagram @RealRyanLang L-A-N-G on Instagram and easily findable on Facebook and LinkedIn as well. If you are in the coaching space and you want to be able to grow, scale your coaching business, you can check us out at www.empirepartners.io and we've also right now, you know we were very heavy into business consulting in general, but in addition to that, we do a significant amount in sales arena as well. And so if you want to check out our sales program that is good for any type of consultative, consultative selling, you can do that at www.closeeveryone.com. Lesley Logan 30:11  Cool. We have a lot of coaches who listen in all different kinds of areas, so I'm excited for them to connect with you guys. Okay, you, you've told us amazing stuff that has some great nuggets. But just for our amazing listeners who are the recovering perfectionist, overachievers, who would like some action items at the end? What are some bold, executable, intrinsic, or targeted steps they can take to be it till you see it?Ryan Lang 30:34  Yeah. Number one, as you and I talked about earlier, I think it is, first and foremost, don't do anything before you figure out the who, start with exactly who you want to be and I would even say, as you're sitting down and setting annual goals and things of that nature, before you even set those out, how do I want to show up this year? Who do I want to be? And how does that person do what they do day in and day out? And then, you know, the next step for me and anybody that I'm coaching, personally is, what are what are the things essentially I've got to build collateral for myself so that my subconscious can catch up with the things that I'm doing and who I want to be and where I want to go. So in order to build that collateral, I'm going to sit down, and I'm going to say, okay, what are some small steps that I can take literally every day and hammer in that nail, just like we talked about, so that when I look in the mirror, I actually believe that I am becoming that person. And eventually, I can easily become that person by simply sitting down and chunking my goals down to what are some small approachable tasks, and just so that it's not totally nebulous. A perfect example is if we're talking about health and fitness, I might say, you know, if I don't go to the gym at all right now, I don't do anything physical. It might be okay, you know what, I want to be the type of person who goes to the gym five days a week, but I don't know that I can trust myself to really show up and do that yet. So I'm going to promise myself that I'll go for a walk five minutes, 10 minutes every single day? Well, if I do that for a week, and then I do it for two weeks, well, now all of a sudden, I'm a walker, I can identify as that person, right? And then I can, I can stack something else small right on top of that, okay, cool. I'm a walker, you know, what, one day a week, I'm going to go to the gym, and I'm going to do a full body weight training session one day a week, well, I do that for a month or two. Now all of a sudden, now all of a sudden, I'm a gym person, right? So I think it really is deciding who and then you know, small things that you'll do repeatedly, day in and day out, that can start conditioning that identity where you build up that collateral with yourself and your subconscious, executing on those things, and then stacking the next small step right on top of it. Because at the end of the day, it isn't with any kind of a goal or an outcome, it's we can't predict the goal or the outcome, what we can predict and decide on every single day is that we're going to do the things that we believe will eventually get us there. So we fall in love with the journey, we set the outcome, we forget about it, we fall in love with the journey and we do it over and over again, and then see where we're at and adjust.Lesley Logan 33:31  I love all of those. I really do. And I love that you just said at the end because we can't control the journey. And like, if you are someone who identifies an abundance mindset person, then you have to like one of my, I remember, I wanted this house, the house we're in right now. And I remember telling my therapist, I was like, I'm just so nervous like what if we don't get it, like and she's like, oh, hold on, you are an abundance mindset person, you have to believe that there's other houses out there. Like if you don't, like you know, like, you can't get so obsessed with the outcome that you take away like what could possibly happen. And so I was like, okay, so I just need to fall in love with this process. And I just need to enjoy this journey that I'm on that could lead if it doesn't lead to this one, it's going to lead to even better one like it's gonna lead to exactly what's supposed to happen. And it was just such an interesting thing because it reframed how I like looked at the things that I was like holding on so tight as the outcome I want in, it's way less stressful. Just like, let it, let it happen. Yeah, Ryan, you're so awesome. I'm so glad we met and thank you for being here and sharing your journey with us. I know. I think that the way we when people share a story like that allows all of us to identify like different parts in our life. And we really went oh, that's interesting. That's what I was doing back then. And that allows us all to grow. So you're amazing, y'all. How are we going to use these tips in your life? Make sure you tag Ryan Lang, tag the Be It pod so we can share this, send this to a friend who needs to hear it, send it to your friend who you are like, oh my God, they keep self-deprecating. They're identifying as something that they're not, send it to them because it's, they might be the thing that they need to hear so that they can change their life. And until next time, Be It Till You See It. Lesley Logan 35:06  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day.  Lesley Logan 35:34  Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod. Brad Crowell 35:49  It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell. Lesley Logan 35:54  It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co. Brad Crowell 35:58  Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi. Lesley Logan 36:05  Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals. Brad Crowell 36:08  Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/be-it-till-you-see-it/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Huge thanks to Dossier Perfumes for partnering up with me in this video! Perfume Fragrance mentioned in the video: Powdery Peach (inspired by Jimmy Choo's I Want Choo) Click the link: https://dossier.co/collections/fragrances and check out all the wonderful fragrances they have to offer! Hellolololololo my beautiful butterfly

In this reflective episode, Lesley and Brad unpack the wisdom behind Tess Waresmith's approach to financial literacy, focusing on the dual objectives of debt management and investing for your future. Drawing from Tess's experiences and their own insights, the hosts explore how to navigate the financial landscape with confidence. By highlighting the importance of understanding your financial standing and the potential of investments, this discussion offers a clear guide to anyone wanting financial security. If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co. And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.In this episode you will learn about:Why it's never too late to start your investment journey at any age. When you should prioritize debt repayment over investing.Why it's important to learn the basic fundamentals of investing. How journaling about money can transform your financial goals.Episode References/Links:May AcceleratorCambodia Feb 2025 Early BirdOPC Summer CampBest Pilates Reformer for HomeDiscount Links for Balanced Body's Equipment and ContrologyWealth with TessFree Workshop - 3 Keys to Making Money in the Stock Market  If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. DEALS! Check out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper's Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox Be in the know with all the workshops at OPCBe It Till You See It Podcast SurveyBe a part of Lesley's Pilates MentorshipFREE Ditching Busy Webinar  Resources:Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!Lesley Logan websiteBe It Till You See It PodcastOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley LoganOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTubeProfitable Pilates Follow Us on Social Media:InstagramFacebookLinkedIn  Episode Transcript:Lesley Logan 0:00  If your loans are under 7% just give yourself permission to just let them be and focus on having some fun investing and watching your money grow versus like watching like this student loan payment every month because that's just exhausting. Lesley Logan 0:14  Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.  Lesley Logan 0:56  Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview recap where my co-host in life, Brad, and I are going to dig into the enriching convo I have with Tess Waresmith in our last episode. Brad Crowell 1:04  (Inaudible) enriching. Lesley Logan 1:05  Very much so. I thought it was an appropriate word. So great job team. If you haven't yet listened to that one, you're gonna want to, my dears, you really, really are. But you can listen to this one first and then go back and then listen to that one. Brad was saying before we hit record, or maybe you'll hear it already. We are at episode 353. Brad Crowell 1:24  That's amazing.Lesley Logan 1:25  That's insane. Lesley Logan 1:26  That is a, I mean, I never imagined. Lesley Logan 1:29  I know it's a lot. Wow. So way to go, team, 353. There are no balloons for this episode, but you know we are celebrating in our hearts. Today is April 11th 2024 and that is Dog Therapy Appreciation Day. So about this day, Dog Therapy Appreciation Day is celebrated on April 11th every year to appreciate the dogs who come for us by being therapy dogs. Therapy dogs go through a rigorous testing program before they become certified with their certification to become eligible to visit hospitals and nursing homes to give comfort to people. Therapy Dogs are usually at first pets who receive training and then become therapy dogs. Being around dogs makes everyone happy. And on this day we thank dogs are making us happier. It's true. They say if you want unconditional love get a dog. Because otherwise if you get a cat you just gotta remain. You never know what the cat you know. Some people's cats are loving, some people's cats are a little diva. Just saying. Just saying.Brad Crowell 2:26  My friend's cat knocks his stuff off of his table. It just sits there. Yeah, sits there and just p-p-p-p-poop funk knocks it off the table.Lesley Logan 2:36  Ah that's so funny. Brad Crowell 2:39  Yeah, pretty hilarious. Lesley Logan 2:41  So we've upcoming events so we want to share with you. So first of all, we're flying to your Sarasota today there's going to be a fun little private event to celebrate just mapping out you know, the podcast and her her app you can meet us at Pilates on tour at Phoenix, which is from Balanced Body on April 26th to the 28th so you can come see us in person we're gonna have a booth, we're gonna have flashcards. It's a huge event. It's a big, big party because Pilates anytime (inaudible)Brad Crowell 3:03  No dogs. I wish we could bring the dogs. Lesley Logan 3:05  We're not bringing the dogs. Brad Crowell 3:07  It's going to be so hot so we're not gonna bring them.Lesley Logan 3:09  (Inaudible) It's just that we're doing a booth and we cannot have three dogs at our tiny booth. Yeah. So. So you'll definitely want to check that out. I hope if you're coming already, let us know. And make sure you come up and say hi to us. Let us know what your favorite episode is. We love hearing that. We were just in Texas and people are sharing like quoting the episodes and they're quoting episodes like one and episode five and I was like wow, like yeah, we go back and listen, I was like, you're fucking awesome. Thank you so much. So ladies, hi. So fun to see you in person, you know who you are. In May we'll have the Accelerator for Profitable Pilates. This is the two-hour workshop that Brad leads where you actually get to learn how to accelerate your business, your studio and really, truly get to work on it in the workshop, which is really cool. He's going to teach you his 'accel' formula, which is about acquiring and cultivating and basically making clients for life and it's super, super fun. So you'll want to do that. Brad Crowell 4:03  Not just making class for life, like bringing them in making them class for life, but then setting them up so they invite their friends and family to come to your studio.Lesley Logan 4:12  Yeah, so you can go to PRfit.biz/acceleratorBrad Crowell 4:16  That's PRfit.biz/accelerator. Lesley Logan 4:19  It's also like $47. So it's really it's a no-brainer to say yes. Brad Crowell 4:23  If you're looking to jumpstart your business, come take this. Lesley Logan 4:26  Or you're still stuck. Go take it, right? And also in May. Brad Crowell 4:31  Yeah, this is really exciting news.Lesley Logan 4:33  First time sharing this on the pod. Brad Crowell 4:34  We're back. Lesley Logan 4:35  We're back. Okay, so the Cambodia retreat is sold out. Brad Crowell 4:39  Yeah. October 24 it sold out, y'all. I'm so excited. It's gonna be the most incredible trip. And because of it, we thought, well, we better get the next one ready.Lesley Logan 4:51  Yeah. So because actually people who are still wanting to come I actually was talking to some people were like, oh, February is even better for me. So that's great. So February 2025 early bird is going to open up in May. Again, waitlist.Brad Crowell 5:02  Yeah, it's going to be Feb 23 to 28, 2025. But we're gonna do the the earlybird in May of this year. Lesley Logan 5:09  Yeah, so waitlist. You've got to be on the waitlist. Brad Crowell 5:11  Get on the waitlist.Lesley Logan 5:11  If you're not on the waitlist, you don't find about this early bird. Brad Crowell 5:13  That's right. Get on that waitlist.Lesley Logan 5:14  You've got to be on the waitlist. And it's a limited time early bird by the way, so. Brad Crowell 5:17  Yeah, it's only going to be two weeks, y'all.Lesley Logan 5:19  So you want to go to lesleylogan.co/retreats. My name is spelled L-E-S-L-E-Y.Brad Crowell 5:24  And that's retreats, plural, plural. Yeah, lesleylogan.co/retreats.Lesley Logan 5:30  And then coming up in June, right around the corner is going to be our summer camp. And it's huge. You guys, we are looking at eight events each day, 16 events for summer camp. Oh my god, this is a huge dream. I'm so, so excited.Brad Crowell 5:45  If you can't be on 10 hours of Pilates classes. That's okay. Because the cool thing about summer camp is you'll be able to keep the, the replays. Lesley Logan 5:55  Yeah, you get the replays for life, which is amazing. And so if you can't be there for the first weekend of June live, you can just buy them while they're on early bird. And by the way, Early Bird really gets the worm on this one because our OPC members get the best early bird. And then if you're on the waitlist, you get the next best early bird. And if you're not on the waitlist, you get the next best early bird which is not as good as any other early bird. So you want to go to opc.me/events, plural, events plural. So opc.me/events to get on the waitlist, if you're an OPC member, you don't need to get on the waitlist, just make sure you're watching your inbox and the community for when you're when your window opens up to sign up.Brad Crowell 6:35  Just a super sneak peek on that not only we're gonna have a bunch of amazing teachers coming in and guest teachers. But also, this is like a big event for us, y'all. This is a big deal. I anticipate there being a ton of people participating. We took a look at last year how we ran everything and we decided this year, we're going to shift it up, we're actually going to offer day passes. And that is going to be the best possible rate. And you don't want to miss the day passes. It's going to be awesome. So great, great stuff. We're really fired up. And can't wait. So yeah. opc.me/events. So this week, we did have an audience question from YouTube. Sophia asked, 'What kind of reformer length should I have for someone who is six foot tall? Lesley Logan 7:18  Yeah. Yeah. So also, there's another Pilates question I didn't want to bring in the brand name, But she was like, I'm looking at this brand name, and it seems really pricey. And I looked it up and it was only $2,000. And I had to say that's actually really expensive for a good reformer. However, I still wouldn't get it. So I let Sophia know that. But what I will say for all of you, if you are six feet tall, you can still operate on an 80-inch reformer, it's when you get above 6'3, that you're going to want to be more than 86-inch reformer. And why these things matter is just because it's, it'sBrad Crowell 7:52  It's physics. It's literally like geometry. It's physics.Lesley Logan 7:55  Well, it's also like, when you press your legs too straight, you hit the end of the reformer. And if you're too tall, your legs don't get too straight. And it's and I will say just for the record, actually never care if the knees get straightened footwork, I only care that the hips open up the front of the hips open up so you could still be on too short reformer, that wouldn't be fun. So I would say you can, Sophia, you probably still could do the Contrology 80-inch but you might enjoy it in 86-inch for anyone under six feet tall, the 80-inch is going to be so awesome. Like, I'm five nine and gets towards spine a little tricky. I have to start at a harder spot. But oh my God, I love the support of the straps. Because again, physics where the strap hits the reformer and into the springs is a shorter distance than on an 86-inch so that's why I love it.Brad Crowell 8:40  And also I know you still work with pro football players on an 80-inch.Lesley Logan 8:45  I did, I did. They were 6'3" or shorter. So they were totally fine. Brad Crowell 8:49  If you're working with basketball, people who are 6'10" and seven-foot. Lesley Logan 8:52  I think they're like seven foot now. But also like if you are working with a team of basketball players, then by all means, like go get there's bigger formers for that. But if you are working with one NBA player, and you have an 86-inch, you're gonna be fine. You'll just you can do other exercises that they can't do on the reformer somewhere else.Brad Crowell 9:10  You said 86-inch, you meant 80? Lesley Logan 9:12  No, they could do an 86-inch. Brad Crowell 9:14  But if they have only one basketball player? Lesley Logan 9:17  Yeah, I think well, the 80-inch is going to be a little tricky. Brad Crowell 9:20  Yeah, are you saying there's bigger than 86? Lesley Logan 9:22  Yeah, there's an 89. Brad Crowell 9:23  Oh, I didn't know that. Lesley Logan 9:24  There are some people that like 90-somethings don't do that you guys, there's no need. Again.Brad Crowell 9:28  Also the leverage, like the amount of you know muscle that's needed to be able to pull that strap. Yeah, is like gonna be really, really challenging, especially as your clients get older. Lesley Logan 9:38  I know shout out to Joanna, an eLevator, she's like I would have paid attention to our physics class if it was taught to me as like it's Pilates. Yeah. And it's true like, like every workshop I'm doing okay, so guys physics, right? So like, this if you do x and you try to do y the window chair is gonna fall over, but I truly like for mostly listening to this, I'm just gonna say 80-inches that's really, really awesome. It's just so, so great. And if you have to get an 86, that's fine as well. But you can check out on YouTube I have a whole video on the reformer for like which one to get for home. It's not one that slides underneath the bed. It's an 80-inch performer spoiler alert. But I go over all the different things you want to look at when it comes to choosing a reformer and why you want to make sure that you're not getting one with bungee cords or, or like one that goes underneath the bed because all these different changes affect how you can do the practice and what you can do. A reformer that's too low to the floor you can't do pulling straps, it's a basic, amazing exercise everybody needs to do. So you can watch that video. Brad Crowell 10:37  It's called Best Pilates Reformer for Home: How to Choose the Best Reformer for you. That's the video name. And that's just right on our YouTube channel.Lesley Logan 10:44  Yeah, yeah. So you can watch that, check it out. And then if you have questions about it let me know also, if you want a discount, we got it.Brad Crowell 10:49  Or you want me to clarify the YouTube channel, because we have one for the pod, it's on the Online Pilates Classes YouTube channel. Lesley Logan 10:55  Yeah. Do you know what that that URL is? I'll tell you guys, I got it memorized. It's really weird. youtube.com/@onlinepilatesclasses, because they go we're gonna give you a handle, it's like a social media thing. But you can't actually use the handle. You have to do youtube.com/@onlinepilatesclasses. Brad Crowell 11:12  It's because you can at mention people now in comments. They're really trying to get the community element going. Lesley Logan 11:16  Yeah, no one's recovering a million people's edits. Fine. Whatever. Anyway, Sophia, thank you for that question. And also you guys, we have discount links when it comes to purchasing Balanced Body's equipment, whether it's a Balanced Body line or the Contrology line. Brad Crowell 11:29  Yeah and sidenote, did you know, we have a YouTube channel for the pod? Lesley Logan 11:34  We do.Brad Crowell 11:35  If you like to watch these to watch this show, you can. We are actually on video. We're staring at each other in a video camera.Lesley Logan 11:43  Yeah, and all of our guests are on video. Brad Crowell 11:45  It's pretty cool. Lesley Logan 11:46  So cool. I hope you check it out.Brad Crowell 11:48  Yes, just go to the Be It Pod on YouTube. All right, now let's talk about Tess Waresmith. Tess is a financial advisor who turned an 80k loss into a million-dollar net worth by the age of 35, which is incredible. Her mission is to educate women on investing via Wealth with Tess, ensuring financial empowerment, literacy and independence. And I just want to throw in here, great remake on the bio, but she didn't go to college to study finance. In fact, she's an acrobat. And she literally was working on a cruise ship. And you know, that's how she, because she had no expenses literally, they pay for housing and food, so for the time she was on the ship, every penny she made, she was able to put in a bank account. And when she got back, she started investing and didn't really pay attention to it, and it went wrong. And she lost a lot of money. And that really made her angry. And so she started to educate herself. And today she educates others, which is super cool. Lesley Logan 12:48  She's so cool. We had her in the agency family, she did a webinar and we actually were able to put her webinar in our agency on-demand curriculum means anyone who comes into on demand or as a pro member for agency, gets to watch her incredible, incredible webinar, which I'm just so friggin grateful. Because then you could if you want to you can work with her. So here's the deal. I loved we talked about demystifying myths around investing because there's a lot of myths around investing. And one of the things we talked about was like that myth, it's too late to invest or catch up. I know for me, I'm always like, fuck, I should have started when I was 20. And I didn't start till I was 31. And like, you know, I look at it sometimes we just looked at with like these wealth advisors we're talking to and I'm like, how's it only that much? You know, how was it only that much?Brad Crowell 13:34  Yeah. It's also been in there for a long time and you were kind of cross-eyed, and like, really? Lesley Logan 13:39  And I also actually, because of Tess, I like I really was like, look at this and tell me what's going on. And they said, oh, it's that they're not being aggressive with it like you want it. And I was like, I literally, Brad and I literally had a call with them a year ago and said, make it, be aggressive. And they still didn't. So thank goodness for Tess and opened my eyes because now we know and we can move it. But anyways, she said age does not matter investing, it's never too late. Even if you've done some mistakes that are irreversible. She's like, if you're starting to take action, you still have time to make a massive difference. And she said, the longer you wait, the harder it is going to be to reach your financial goals. So like, basically going it's too late to invest is not, you got it, you can just start now and like it doesn't have to be too late.Brad Crowell 14:23  I feel like we need to even take a step back like this idea of financial goals is this like it's an amorphous not like thing. It doesn't make any sense. It like do people actually, obviously, more is better. Mo better, right? That's the way I've always thought of financial goals. But the more we've been educating ourselves about this, the more I'm realizing there is an actual number out there that you will want to you know, kind of go for over your career of making money. That's your entire life so that when you retire, you have enough money to live the lifestyle you want to live and it's like talking with Tess was really interesting because it allowed not only the podcast interview. Lesley Logan 15:04  She needs a podcast called Talking with Tess. Brad Crowell 15:06  Talking with Tess. Lesley Logan 15:07  I know she's Wealth With Tess, but like Talking with Tess Brad Crowell 15:09  It's pretty good. It's a good alliteration. But the like understanding the foundational elements of like a financial plan, and what does that even mean? What is this amorphous, like goal that you may or may not have yet? Like, and how do you start to go forward toward it? These are all the things that she begins to teach. And, you know, she's teaching I mean, and she, what was cool is, you know, there's a couple of different ways to do it. There's like the, you know, hire someone let them do it, right, for you and you're paying them the 1% thing, there are things you just like, buy it, never look at it ever again. And there's people who try to like actually play the stock market, right? Those are kind of the three different ways that you know, and she, she kind of, she has different programs that educate you through those things. And I thought it was really great, because maybe, depending on who you are, where you are, what your financial position is, and your goals are, you know, it depends on which avenue you may want to go. And then there are different things inside of that. I was poking around her website, if y'all can't tell. It's good. So yeah, I really loved that she said, a lot of people feel like they have to pay off all of their debt, even their mortgage or their student loans before they start investing. So this is myth number two. Myth number one was what Lesley said, it's, oh, it's too late for me, I didn't start when I was 20. So why even bother? No, wrong. Second one is you don't have to pay off all your debt before you begin investing. There is like a, like a generalization that if you're, if you have a loan, and it's less than 7%, you know, the on average, the money that you may invest in things is going to be like, not not in like, like, obviously, when I'm talking to savings account here, but it's going to be greater than 7% on average, over I think this is like over a 10-year period or something like that. Anyway, the point is this, if you have a credit card, it has 27% interest rate, and then you take all your money and you put it in the stock market, you're not going to be doing yourself any favors, you should be paying off the 27% interest rate right now, get that down. But if you have a mortgage or a school loan, and it's like 4%, right, then Lesley Logan 17:21  Let it be, just pay what you're supposed to pay. Brad Crowell 17:23  Yeah, pay what you're supposed to pay, feel free to add a little bit on top, that's fine. But like, you don't need to be dumping money onto that 4% loan, you'd be better off serving yourself by taking that money and investing it in a way that will bring you seven or 8% greater, you know, or whatever. And so, so the point is, if you have high-interest debt, then you do need, you want to get rid of that right away. That's the first primary and that could, right away could take a year or two. Lesley Logan 17:49  It could take up and also by the way, because I used to have a lot of credit cards and student loan debt and lived in California in LA with lots of things. I literally just took, I did the minimums on everything and paid off the highest interest rate bill I had, then I took that money and went to the next highest interest rate bill. And then I, it's like all the other ones I was just paying like like barely a little over minimum, because it's like, they're all more, they're all lower than this. And I have to get this one down. And I was able to take that money unto this one and that one, and I got out of my credit card debt faster than I actually thought because I was being very intentional about it it's kind of interesting how like, when you focus on it like, what you're able to do, and I paid my student loans off months earlier than I thought not even because I paid extra, I just actually had it set up, where I always paid the same amount no matter what the interest was, because I had this like interest rate, and it went down while I had them. But I kept paying the same amount. And so I had a higher payment going to the principal. So it goes it does go away. We just have to also not look at it like oh my god, I'm financially illiterate. I'm a stupid person for these things. No, like, you know what, guys? I wouldn't I want to live in a world where it doesn't cost $80,000 to go to a regular college, I would love to see that I would love to see a world where you don't have to go to college to be a fucking secretary. Like you don't need to. But we don't live in that world right now. So you just have to go I made these amazing choices. I probably met some incredible people. And I'm gonna make this payment, put it on auto pay and do some things. But also if the interest is under seven, which most student loans is and if the IRS is not, let's figure that out. But Brad Crowell 19:26  Yeah, just to clarify that statement. I want to put the descriptor word in that sentence a lot differently. You don't have to go to fucking college to be a secretary. Lesley Logan 19:36  No, you don't. You don't. Brad Crowell 19:39  The point is like you can make a living being a secretary you can make a living. You don't need to go to college to make a living. You can but you don't necessarily need to. Lesley Logan 19:49  Yeah, I say that because like, I definitely I now use my degree but like I use college as a way to get out of like my hometown and I'm grateful because I wouldn't be on this journey. And I wouldn't know the people I have if I hadn't done it. But also, also, I couldn't have done what I did in retail, which taught me what I needed to do to do business with Pilates. Anyways, so would I've been in business coach, maybe not, but that doesn't, that doesn't really matter. So I think it's just really important. Just to go back to, if you're, if your loans are under 7%. Just give yourself permission to just let them be. And focus on having some fun investing and watching your money grow versus like watching like this student loan payment every month, because that's just exhausting. Brad Crowell 20:34  So finally, let's talk about those Be It Action Items. Say it with me, y'all. What bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted action items can we take away from your convo with Tess Waresmith?Lesley Logan 20:45  I wonder if anyone does it? Anyone says it with you.Brad Crowell 20:47  If any of you say that with me every single week, I want to know, I want to know you needed the (inaudible)Lesley Logan 20:53  I know Mindy says the intro like she would if for SEO. She's got it memorized. (inaudible)Brad Crowell 21:02  That is amazing. Okay, cool. So as I was already alluding to, at the beginning of this pod, Tess actually educates people on the subjects and she's got some really approachable courses. It's like a one-month course where she works in small groups with people who are probably, you know, all in the same boat, she said, it's often very revealing, you know, learning the foundational understanding of investing of money about how it all works. And she said, it's very, very possible for you to learn this yourself. It's, it sounds intimidating, but that's only because we don't know what we don't know. Right? But when you begin to see when she you know, you lift the lid on it. She said it's not rocket science here. A lot of the investing that you know, that is happening, we probably could be managing it ourselves, instead of having an organization manage it for us, because they're taking fees that literally we don't need to do, we don't need them to take. Because if you're just setting it and forgetting it, there's really an opportunity for you to manage it yourself. So she said find out where you stand in the ecosystem of learning investment, like, are you trying to be complicated, then maybe you need a team to work with you. But if it's just a set it and forget it, you can make a smart decision. So as long as you know the options, and then you can choose how much money can you invest and watch how it grows. You can learn together, you know, with your partner with your family to be able to make intelligent financial decisions. Well, she said something I really light her fire is investing and teaching kids, right? So she said there's a there's a plan called a 529 plan, which that doesn't mean anything to me other than it's a number, where you can, as a parent, begin to put money into an account for your kids college fund. And if they choose not to go to college, down the road, it can roll into some other kind of a retirement plan.Lesley Logan 22:58  I know is that, that to me was so cool, that if they don't go to college, it can go into a retirement plan. So it doesn't have to be forced. I love it. I love their option.Brad Crowell 23:07  That's pretty rad. It's pretty, pretty rad. But how would you ever even know about this stuff? Right? So you gotta you gotta learn. So what about you?Lesley Logan 23:16  She said, so my biggest takeaway that I want to talk about is journaling on your relationship with money. And I, we and I, we both have done some stuff on this show. So we, of course, I love this because we've been, it was really revealing for us when we did it. So she said ask for, this is for my people who are like, what do I journal? Write this down. Okay she said ask yourself questions like, how do I feel when I make a money transaction? So, when you receive money or when you spend money how does it make you feel? Do I feel like there's an opportunity for me to make more money or not? Do I think I'm capable of learning how to invest? And she said if the answer is no, you need to DM her because she'll talk to you. She'll talk to you, and she's going to absolutely help you because she believes you are more than capable to do it.Brad Crowell 24:01  Yep. She said there was another thing before we wrap it up. She mentioned she often hears that people say they are or they are not, quote-unquote good with money. Oh, I'm not good with money anyway, so whatever, you know, like I just am doing my thing. And she said that this is like the honestly, from a, be it perspective, Be It Pod perspective, this is like the definition of negative self-talk, even though we don't even realize it, we are counting ourselves out from ever even learning the possibility or understanding that we could be good with money. Right? And we just assume that we don't have the quote-unquote golden touch, you know, that like maybe a (inaudible) investment banker has or whatever stock market person has, like they're good with money. You know, I'm not good with money. No, that's a story we're telling ourselves. Right? And that doesn't have to be the case. And it's also not that complex to learn how you can be good with money. And that's why we love to have this conversation with Tess.Lesley Logan 25:04  Yeah, she's great. I like want to spend more time with her. So thank you, Tess for helping us become really amazing and hyped up about money and investing. I really, I cannot wait for everyone to tell me how they're gonna use these tips in your life. And by the way, share this with a friend who like says they're not good with money or says that they wish that they understood the money matters in their household more like this is a really, Tess can really help so many women in your life. So. Brad Crowell 25:31  Yeah, we'll put her link in the show notes. Lesley Logan 25:32  Yeah, so do that right now. And until next time, I'm Lesley Logan. Brad Crowell 25:36  And I'm Brad Crowell. Lesley Logan 25:37  Thank you so very, very much for being here. 353 episodes if you haven't listened to that, man, you should go listen, I'm just saying, some people listen twice, just no pressure. Let us know what your favorite one is so far, and Be It Till You See It. Brad Crowell 25:51  Bye for now. Lesley Logan 25:53  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day.   Lesley Logan 26:21  Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod. Brad Crowell 26:36  It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell. Lesley Logan 26:41  It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co. Brad Crowell 26:45  Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi. Lesley Logan 26:52  Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals. Brad Crowell 26:56  Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/be-it-till-you-see-it/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

In this insightful episode, Debi Silber, PhD and founder of the PBT Institute, shares her expertise on overcoming the profound effects of betrayal. Drawing from personal experiences and her groundbreaking research, Silber unveils the stages of Post Betrayal Transformation, offering hope and actionable strategies for healing. Discover the connections between betrayal, health, and personal growth, and learn how to reconstruct a stronger, more resilient self after trust is shattered.If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co. And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.In this episode you will learn about:The psychological differences between betrayal and other traumas.Key discoveries from Dr. Debi Silber's studies on betrayal.The PBT Institute's approach to facilitating stages of overcoming betrayal.Strategies for strengthening personal boundaries to prevent future betrayals.The importance of addressing betrayal at its root for true healing.Episode References/Links:The PBT InstituteDebi Silber TikTok  Debi Silber Facebook Debi Silber X.comDebi Silber LinkedinDebi Silber InstagramDebi Silber YouTubeGuest Bio:Dr. Debi Silber is the founder of the PBT (Post Betrayal Transformation) Institute and is a holistic psychologist, a health, mindset and personal development expert, the author of Trust Again, and is a 2-time #1 International bestselling author of: The Unshakable Woman AND From Hardened to Healed. Her podcast: From Betrayal to Breakthrough is also globally ranked within the top 1.5% of podcasts. Her recent PhD study on how we experience betrayal made 3 groundbreaking discoveries that changes how long it takes to heal. In addition to being on FOX, CBS, The Dr. Oz Show, TEDx (twice) and more, she's an award-winning speaker and coach dedicated to helping people move past their betrayals as well as any other blocks preventing them from the health, work, relationships, confidence, and happiness they want most.  If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. DEALS! Check out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper's Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox Be in the know with all the workshops at OPCBe It Till You See It Podcast SurveyBe a part of Lesley's Pilates MentorshipFREE Ditching Busy Webinarhttps://  Resources:Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!Lesley Logan websiteBe It Till You See It PodcastOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley LoganOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTubeProfitable Pilates Follow Us on Social Media:InstagramFacebookLinkedIn  Episode Transcript:Debi Silber 0:00  We actually discovered that there's this collection of symptoms, physical, mental and emotional, so common to betrayal, it's now known as post betrayal syndrome. And it what's so interesting is we've had I don't know easily 95,000 plus people take our post betrayal syndrome quiz on our site, to see to what extent they're struggling. We've all been taught time heals all wounds. I have the proof that when it comes to betrayal, that's not true.Lesley Logan 0:27  Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.  Lesley Logan 1:09  Okay, I got some hot topic and this is gonna feel a little juicy but maybe not at all, actually. But, when I discovered today's guest and what they talk about, I was like, oh, yeah, we have not talked about this not in a high-level way. We've definitely had guests come on, who have shared how they're betrayed in their life, and then how they've made it to where they are today just inspire you to be it till you see it. But we've actually never had a like expert on the topic of betrayal. And I really enjoyed it. I feel like I just went to a whole study class on betrayal. I feel like I'm really aware of it. And I already have three people I want to share this episode. It's not even ready yet. I just I'm like literally finished recording it. And I'm like, oh my gosh, I have to send this to this person, I have to send this to this person. And so my hope is, is that today's episode, betrayal not only educates you. And maybe what you're going through what's keeping you from being until you see it is an old betrayal. And that can really suck to admit to, you know, like to, to think that like 20 years ago, something happened to you and you haven't yet healed from that. And I just to make sure you know that that's okay. You're not the only one. You're not the first person. You're not the last person. But hopefully with today's guest, Dr. Debi Silber, we can start to heal. And we can all go from a place of being betrayed and wanting to take over our lives to actually making it make our lives right where they can be. And so this episode goes through a lot of statistics, a lot of information as symptoms you might be feeling in your life that could all be from a betrayal in your life and also the ways you can get out of it. So I'm really excited for this episode. I think it's gonna be really awesome. And again, I do think it's one of those ones you're gonna share with your friends right now because I'm about to send this information to mine. So have an amazing day and I cannot wait to hear your takeaways. And here's Dr. Debi Silber. Lesley Logan 3:09  All right, Be It babe. I'm really excited for today's topic. Actually, I don't think we've even discussed this topic on the podcast and it is 100% aligned, aligned with us being until we see it. So we have Dr. Debi Silber, here. She is an amazing person who has truly forged her own path and is helping people on the topic of betrayal. So Dr. Debi Silber, will you please introduce yourself and tell everyone who you are and what you rock at?Debi Silber 3:33  Sure, looking forward to this conversation. So I am the founder and CEO of the PBT Post Betrayal Transformation Institute, I mean, clearly you don't study something like betrayal unless you have to. So I'm in business over 30 years - health, mindset, personal development, and then I had a really painful betrayal from my family thought I did everything I needed to do to heal from that. And then it happened again, a few years later, this time it was my husband, that was the deal breaker got him out of the house, looked at the two experiences thinking well, what's similar to these two, of course, me, but what else? And I realized, you know, boundaries, were always getting crossed, never took my lead seriously. And I am one of those people that believes if nothing changes, nothing changes. So here it was four kids, six dogs, a thriving business and I said, you know, a book wasn't gonna get me out of this jam, I needed a whole Ph.D. in it. So I did I enrolled in a Ph.D. program in transpersonal psychology, the psychology of transformation and human potential. Because I was changing so much I didn't quite understand it. He was too, wasn't ready to look at that. And then it was time to do a study. So I studied betrayal. What holds us back what helps us heal and what happens to us physically, mentally and emotionally when the people closest to us lie, cheat and deceive? That study led to three groundbreaking discoveries which changed my health, my family, my work, my life.Lesley Logan 4:51  Okay, I mean, crazy amazing. No, not that I would ever wish betrayal on anybody but like, thank goodness, we're able to take your betrayal and make it what it is because I, if you start to think about the different things that could happen to you that can really prevent you from living the life you want to live and betrayal is this one thing where you can see people in your life or maybe someone listening right now, like that is the thing that's keeping them from showing up in the world. Because the last time they did it, they got betrayed or whatever. So I just think that like, this is an amazing topic, can we just like, go down to the 101 of what betrayal is just in case people are like, I've never been betrayed before, my life is fine.Debi Silber 5:33  Sure. Yeah and then maybe it is. Well, I define it as the breaking of a spoken or unspoken rule, and every relationship has them. So the way it works is the more we trust, and the more we depend on that person, the deeper the betrayal. So for example, a child who is totally dependent on their parent, and the parent does something awful. That's going to have a different impact than let's say, your best friend sharing your secret, you're co-worker taking credit for your idea. Still a betrayal, different level of cleanup. Lesley Logan 6:00  Yeah, yeah. So you know. Yeah, I mean, that's a really interesting way of putting it like the stronger the bond, the deeper the betrayal. Okay, so then you start to go through and try to figure out what works to heal from betrayal. Obviously, there's some things that people can do that are better than others, like, what is the process of like? Is it first just recognizing that you've been betrayed? Is it going within? Is it you screaming and yelling at the other person?Debi Silber 6:27  Yes, yes, yes. You know, it's all of those depending on where you're at, the first thing is, you know, you have to know where you know what betrayal does, and that's where that's where the discoveries really came in. So I'm happy to share what they are, because that'll give such context to what we're talking about. So at first I was studying and like, I had a feeling betrayal was a different type of trauma, then, you know, death of a loved one disease, natural disaster, like I had been through death of a loved one. And I've been through disease, and I was like, You know what? Betrayal feels different. I didn't want to assume that it was the same for everyone in my study, so I asked them, if you've been through other types of trauma, traumas, does betrayal feel different for you unanimously? This one, oh, my gosh, it's so different. And here's why. Because it feels so intentional. We take it so personally. So the entire self gets shattered and has to be rebuilt. rejection, abandonment, belonging, confidence, worthiness, trust, like they're all demolished and have to be rebuilt. Like for example, if you lose someone you love, you grieve, you're sad, you mourn the loss, life will never be the same. But you don't question the relationship. You don't question the trust, you don't question your sanity, betrayal, has you questioning all of it. So that type of healing needed its own name, which is now called post betrayal transformation, that complete and total rebuild of your life and yourself after an experience with betrayal. So that betrayal is a different type of trauma, that was the first discovery. The second one was, we actually discovered that there's this collection of symptoms, physical, mental, and emotional, so common to betrayal, it's now known as post betrayal syndrome. And it what's so interesting is we've had, I don't know, easily 95,000 plus people take our post betrayal syndrome quiz on our site to see to what extent they're struggling. We've all been taught time heals all wounds. I have the proof that when it comes to betrayal, that's not true. There's a question on the quiz that says is there anything else you'd like to share? And people write things like, you know, my betrayal happened 35 years ago, I'm unwilling to trust. My betrayal happened, you know, 10 years ago feels like it happened yesterday. My betrayal happened 15 years years ago, I feel gutted. So we know you cannot count on time. Or you can't even count on a new relationship to heal betrayal. Healing needs to be deliberate and intentional. And, you know, I'm happy to share some of those stats from the quiz if that would serve you.Debi Silber 6:33  Yeah, I am like, fascinated. Because you, we've all seen it, like we've all had that family member who like something happened to them. And they were never, they were never the same again. And it can be so easy, like, oh my gosh, like they could just have like, gotten over it. Like they should just get over it. And part of me is like maybe like, for some reason, my brain is going like betrayal. At some point, you might even think that you betrayed yourself. Like, it's almost like, it's like you could reverse the betrayal that you did it to you. Because I trusted them. Oh, I I didn't listen to that red flag that I've had, like, you start to like, take it on as you did it to you.Debi Silber 9:35  And everything you're saying about the stuckness, I'm going to talk about that in the third discovery. But yeah, I mean, these symptoms are so classic for post betrayal syndrome, and here's the thing, we associate it because let's say the betrayal happened years ago, you know, we're like, well, clearly it's not from that. Oh, but yes, it is. And but we think because it was so long ago, it's got to be from aging. It's got to just be from daily stress. No, it's not. It's from an unhealed betrayal. So. Lesley Logan 10:01  Let's go to the next one. I love this. Yeah. Debi Silber 10:03  Yeah. So do you want me to read the stats? Lesley Logan 10:06  Yeah, let's read it. Debi Silber 10:07  So, out of 95,000 plus people, men, women just about every country's represented, 78% constantly revisit their experience, 81% feel a loss of personal power, 80% are hypervigilant, I mean that's exhausting, 94% deal with painful triggers. These are the most common physical symptoms: 71% have low energy, 68% have sleep issues, 63% have extreme fatigue, your adrenals have tanked, 47% of weight changes. So in the beginning, maybe you can hold food down, later on you're an emotional eater, you're using food for comfort, 45% have a digestive issue and that could be anything Crohn's, IBS, diverticulitis, constipation, diarrhea, bloating, anything. The most common mental symptoms: 78% are overwhelmed, 70% are walking around in a state of disbelief, 68% can't focus, 64% are in shock, 62% can't concentrate. So imagine you can't concentrate, you have a gut issue, you're exhausted. You still have to feed your kids. You still have to work.Lesley Logan 11:16  Oh, and all this is compounding. So like, and what's crazy to me is like, it's the majority, of all this is like a majority. So it's not like, some people have betrayal experiences and some people experience, it's like, well, they're all pretty much experiencing these things. And it's just, that is, all of that is exhausting. And you got to show up and then you have these expectations on yourself, and you can't meet them. So that's another spiral.Debi Silber 11:40  Oh, yeah, you're so right. And that's not even the emotional issues. So emotionally, 88% experienced extreme sadness, 83% are very angry and you just bounce back and forth between those two emotions all day long it's debilitating, 82% feel hurt, 80% have anxiety, 79% are stressed. Just a few more. Here's why I wrote the book Trust Again, 84% have an inability to trust, 67% I hope that landed, that's huge, 67% prevent themselves from forming deep relationships because they're afraid of being hurt again, 82% find it hard to move forward, 90% want to move forward but they don't know how.Lesley Logan 12:22  Yeah, like, it's like this. There's, it's not like they don't want their life back. But they don't know the next steps. Because moving on, everything we've ever been told, just get over it, you'll meet someone else or like, it's that hurt people hurt people. So they were just hurting. Like, it's none of that stuff is really helpful for you to build trust again. And also. And the thing about trust, which I'm sure you talked about in your book, and we can go into that is like you like to build trust, you have to trust like you actually have to be vulnerable in the beginning of a relationship. So that trust is built, but people want trust to be there before they're vulnerable once they've gone through something like that. And so, is that kind of why you, is that what you talk about in the book Trust Again, is that like, one of the things?Debi Silber 13:07  It is what, it definitely is one of the things and just to wrap up the post betrayal syndrome stats, think about it, you didn't hear me say one thing that said, you know, 20% 30%, these numbers are super high. They're also not necessarily from a recent betrayal. So this could be from that parent who did something awful when you were a kid, this could be from the girlfriend or boyfriend who broke your heart in high school. So think about this, that person may not know care, remember, they may not even be alive. And here we are decades later with these symptoms, because we haven't healed it from way back then. That's the trick. That's the crime. The good news is you can heal from all of it, which was the third discovery.Lesley Logan 13:47  Yeah. So okay. I do want to know how we can heal from it.Debi Silber 13:50  Yeah, and then and then I'll circle back to if you want, how to know, you know, when you said about, you know, being willing to trust and unwilling and, and putting the big wall up and all those things maybe I can (inaudible). So the third discovery, this, to me was the most exciting. And what was discovered was while we can stay stuck for years, decades, a lifetime and so many people do, if we're going to fully heal, and by fully heal, I mean, symptoms of post betrayal syndrome that I just shared to that completely rebuilt place of you're whole, healed, complete of post betrayal transformation. To get from one to the next, we're going to move through five proven predictable stages. And what's even more exciting about that is we know what happens physically, mentally and emotionally. At every one of those stages. And we know what it takes to move from one stage to the next. Healing is entirely predictable. Happy to go through the stages if you want. Lesley Logan 14:50  Yeah, I do. I love this. I had no idea it could be so predictable. So I want to hear. Debi Silber 14:55  And that's the thing. I mean, there's a roadmap now for it. And so it's all mapped out in Trust Again, it's all we do within the PBT Institute. It's where all of our coaches are certified in, moving people through the five stages, but I'll share them briefly here. So, stage one, if, you can imagine four legs of a table, the four legs being physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. What I saw with everybody, me too, was a heavy lean on the physical and the mental thinking and doing and kind of neglecting or ignoring the emotional and the spiritual, feeling and being. Well, if there's a table with only two legs, it's easy for that table to topple over. That's us. Stage two, shock, trauma, D Day, discovery day, the scariest of all of the stages. And this is the breakdown of the body, the mind and the worldview. Right here, you got the news, you've ignited the stress response, you are now headed for every single stress-related symptom, illness, condition disease. Your mind is in a complete state of chaos and overwhelm. You cannot wrap your mind around what you just learned. This makes no sense. And your worldview has just been shattered. Your worldview is your mental model, the rules that govern us that prevent chaos, don't go there, trust this person, this is how life works. And in one earth-shattering moment or series of moments. Every rule you've known and you've held to be real and true, is no longer the bottom has truly bottomed out from you. And the new bottom hasn't been formed yet. I remember a study participant saying you know what it feels like. It felt like, it felt like every negative emotion you can imagine, getting punched in the stomach and losing a child and a crowd all at the same time. It's awful. Think about it. Lesley Logan 16:30  Like you're searching, you're searching and searching, you're adrenaline's going to find something. And you just been like crippled at the same time. So you can't even do it. Yeah, that is so (inaudible).Debi Silber 16:51  Yeah, it's visceral. So but think about it. If the bottom were to bottom out on you, what would you do, you'd grab hold of anything or anyone you could to stay safe and stay alive. And that stage three, survival instincts emerge. It's the most practical out of all of the stages. If you can help me get out of my way, how do I survive this experience? Where do I go? Who can I trust? How do I feed my kids? Here's the trap, though. Stage three, by far hands down is the most common place we get stuck. You know, so many people in this stage and I will explain it you will see. This is the place we get stuck and here's why. Once we've figured out how to survive our experience, because it feels so much better than the shock and trauma of where we just came from, we think it's good. And be like, okay, I got this. And because we don't know there's anywhere else to go. We park here, we plant roots here we're not supposed to. But we don't know that. And four things have, a transformation doesn't even begin (inaudible) work. But we don't know anything about that. So we plant roots here. And these four things happen. The first thing is, we start getting all these small self-benefits from being here. We get our story. We like our story. We get to be right, we like being right, you know, we get a target for anger, we get someone to blame. We don't have to do the hard work of learning to trust again. Can I trust you? Should I trust you? Forget it, I'm not trusting anybody. So we plant deeper roots. Again, we're not supposed to but we don't know. And now because you know that you know we're here longer than we should be. We start thinking things like well, you know, maybe you're not that great. Maybe you deserved it. Maybe this maybe that. So we plant deeper roots. And now because these are the thoughts we're thinking, well this is the energy we're putting out. Like energy attracts like energy. So now we start calling situations, circumstances and relationships towards us to confirm yep, this is exactly where you belong. Lesley Logan 18:49  Yeah, it's like cognitive bias whatever yeah, right it's a whole like you're just I think this, I see this, it's proved me correct.Debi Silber 18:58  And your mind will find you as much confirming evidence as you want to see and then you also the misery loves company crowd comes along now to. Here's also where you find that support group that like in an awful club where it's like this happened to me oh, you think that's bad? This happened to me? And now you found your people. Yeah, so your (inaudible) to grow because you don't want to outgrow your people. The longer you're here the harder it gets to leave because this becomes your identity. It gets worse but I'll get you out. Because you feel so bad, but you don't know there's anywhere else to go you resign yourself right here you're like this stinks but like I have to get through my day. You have to, I have to go to work, I have to be with my kids. So right here is where you start using food, drugs, alcohol, work, TV, keeping busy whatever it is to numb avoid and distract yourself. So think about it. You do it for a day, a week, month now to happen a year, 10 years, 20 years. I can seriously see someone 20 years later and say you know that emotional eating you're doing or that drinking you're doing, do you think that has anything to do with your betrayal? And they would look at me like I'm crazy. (Inaudible) 20 years ago, all they did was put themselves in stage three, and stay there. Does that make sense? Lesley Logan 20:10  Yeah. Oh, it totally does. And I think like, it's so interesting because the the world would have you think, oh, well, if you're emotionally eating, then you should just eat fewer calories and like, go deal with your emotions. But it's like, it's not even. It's not a, it's not a conscious awareness that those two go together. And also, you just try to mask that, like, oh, I'll just eat less. It sets you up for failure, you're going to screw up, because that's just human just gonna happen. And so then you're even more, you're stuck, because you're like, I'm not even.Debi Silber 20:43  Right. And that's why it's so common to stay there. And you know, it's interesting, because Trust Again maps out the five stages, but that's why I wrote (inaudible) hard to heal them, like you've been through the worst of it already. What in the world are you doing staying stuck in stage three, from harmed to healed is just for stage three, because that's where most people live at stake for life. And you and if you remind me, I'll get back to I want to get people out of stage three. But if you're me, like how do you know if you're in stage three? I'll tell you. Anyway, if you are willing, willingness is a huge word right here. If you are willing to let go of the small self-benefits, grieve, mourn the loss, bunch of things you need to do, you move to stage four. Stage four is finding and adjusting to a new normal. So here's where you acknowledge, I can't undo what happened. But I control what I do with it. Just in that decision, you're turning down the stress response, you're not healing just yet. But at least you just stop the massive damage you've been creating in stages two and stage three. Stage four feels like if you've ever moved, if you've ever moved to a new house, office, condo, apartment, whatever, all your stuff's not there. It's not cozy yet. But you're like, okay, okay, we've got this, stage four feels like that. But think about it, if you were to move, you don't bring everything you know, you don't take those things that don't represent who you want to be when you're in your new space. And what I found was, there's this one spot in moving from stage three to stage four. If your friends weren't there for you, you don't take them with you. You've outgrown them. And it's so common, people say to me all the time, I've had these friends 10, 20 years is it me? Yes, it is. You're undergoing a transformation and if they don't rise, you don't bring them, very common. Lesley Logan 22:30  That and that's probably the hardest part. I'm sure in your work, you see people who have a hard time letting go of those friends. I've had them for so much of my life. And it's like, if but if it's true, if they're not rising up with you, if they're not, if they're not willing to stop telling the story as well, if they're not willing to stop being stuck. It's not that you're being a dick, not taking them with you. It's like actually part of you becoming the person here. So you've always wanted to be. If you loved being in stage three you would stay there, but you're not loving it.Debi Silber 23:02  That's it. And here's the thing, do you know how often I'll see somebody sabotaging their growth, because they don't want to outgrow their betrayer or they don't want to outgrow the friends they need in that stuck place. So they'll find themselves constantly sabotaging their success, so that they stay with the familiar known, the only benefit is that it's familiar. That's the only thing. But because it's familiar, they will you know, it's not worth healing and rebuilding themselves because of the known familiar but what's waiting for you in Stage Four and Stage Five is mind-blowing. So let me get to stage five, and then I'll tell you what we see. So stage five, once you've settled into this new mental space, you've made it cozy, you've made it home, you move into the fifth most beautiful stage and this is healing, rebirth and a new worldview. The body starts to heal. Self-love, self-care, eating well exercise, you just couldn't do that before you you know, you don't have the bandwidth. Your mind is healing, you're making new rules, you're making new boundaries, you know, based on the road you just traveled and you have a new worldview based on everything, you see so clearly and so differently now. And the four legs of the table in the beginning it was all about the physical and the mental by this point, were solidly grounded. Because we're focused on the emotional and the spiritual too. Those are the five. Lesley Logan 24:24  Yeah, this is really cool. So because I, I feel like you know, the whole reason this podcast exists is that people think that they have to fake it till they make it and like I'm not about that because like I think that like acting as if you're the person that you want to be allows you to make decisions like that person would. And so when I was, what I was attracted to this topic so much is that like, I see so many people with all the tools they have all of them they actually have the goals, they have the things and they keep self-sabotaging or staying stuck or playing small or replaying a story. Well, last time I tried to do something this happened to me, and so, I love that you found these five, and also all these things that like, I think so many people are walking around from betrayal symptoms, not just like, you know, like depression is a symptom of betrayal. It's not that you know, so I feel like we're going around trying to heal symptoms, and not actually the cause of the problem. Is that what your studies all found? Debi Silber 25:21  It is 100%. Because think about it, like, for example, 45% of everybody betrayed has a gun issue, you could go to the best good doctor on the planet, I'm friends with many of them, right? But here's the thing, that the amazing protocols they recommend will only take you so far, if there's an unhealed betrayal at the root of it. Unless and until you heal that, that's the issue. Or let's say, you know, you've in the beginning you you couldn't hold food down, and later on, you become an emotional eater, then you try to lose weight. Well, and you try all these weight loss things, that's not the issue or you can't sleep. So you start taking something for sleep, or your adrenals have tanked and you're taking something like some sort of adrenal support, they're all wonderful, right? But at the root of it is that unhealed betrayal. But when you move out of stage three into stage four, and five, what we see constantly within the PBT Institute, that's where you are ready for a new level of relationship with someone entirely new or with a completely revamped person of the person who hurt you. That's when we see new levels of health. That's where if I tell you how many businesses get birthed in stages four and five, the PBT Institute, that was a stage five thing, you don't have access to all of that newness when you're stuck in your trauma. You get your story, but that's really just about all you're getting. Lesley Logan 26:43  Yeah. Yeah. So hurt me wonders. Like, do you think there's some people who have particularly like, locked the betrayal so much that they're, they're almost in denial that their problems are from betrayal like it? Some of these things might have happened when they were children? Some of these things happen when they're adults. How do you go about like understanding what betrayal you need to heal from if you're not aware? Like, I mean, people might think like Lesley, you're crazy. No, like, if my partner had cheated on me, that's a very obvious betrayal. But there might be some betrayals that like happened to you that were kind of can you're conditioned to so you don't even call it that you think it was your fault. So I guess I'm just wondering if, if there's like some ways to figure out if betrayal is what you're going through?Debi Silber 27:27  100%. So take a look at your health, your work, your relationships will see it in these three areas all the time. For example, in your relationships, I'll see an unhealed betrayal in one of two ways. The first is a repeat betrayal. The face has changed, but it's the same thing. You keep going from boss to boss to boss, friend to friend to friend, partner to partner and partner, like what the heck is it me? Yes, it is, not in that it's your fault. In that it's your opportunity, there is a gigantic lesson waiting to be learned. You are lovable, worthy and deserving. You need better boundaries in place, whatever that lesson is, until and unless you get that you're gonna have opportunities in the form of people to teach you. Like, for example, in my case, I had a painful betrayal from my family. And then I was like, all right, let me just heal from this. I think I'm over it, I'm good. And then my husband, but look at what I did here for me, I never did anything for myself, I wasn't even on my own like to-do list, you know, for me to enroll in a Ph. D. program. I didn't know who was gonna pay for it. I didn't know how I was going to manage the time. If I tell you how many people said I was full-blown crazy, right? But in making such a radical decision for me, it completely changed my life. And just to close the loop on my story, so everybody knows. Healing and rebuilding is always a choice whether you rebuild yourself and move on and that's what I did with my family wasn't an option to rebuild with them. Or if the situation lends itself if you're willing, if you want to you rebuild something from the ground up new as two entirely different people. That's what I do with my husband. So not long ago as two totally different people, we married each other again. Debi Silber 29:10  Oh my God. Debi Silber 29:12  New house, new dress, and our four kids is our bridal party. Betrayal will show you who someone truly is. It also has the opportunity to wake them up to who they temporarily became not that you need to do anything with that. But yeah, what most people do though is they're so afraid of the complete and utter death and destruction of the old as the only way you birth the new.Lesley Logan 29:37  This is, I'm happy to hear that because it sounds like you both had to go through some things for that to actually come back and like refine each other in massive ways. And I'm sure it wasn't easy. I I like that you break down to like, health, you know, that like relationships and I think the third one was work or was that family? Debi Silber 29:58  Yeah, I'd love to show and explain how it shows up in different areas? So in relationships, it's going to show up in one of those two ways, in repeat betrayal, that is an unhealed betrayal lesson has not been learned. The second way is the big wall goes up, like nope, been there done that no one's getting near me again. And we think that's coming from a place of strength. And it's not, it's coming from fear. Our heart was so hurt that we are unwilling to risk that level of vulnerability, because we just can't fathom the thought of that level of pain again. So we would rather keep everyone at bay, than take the risk of that pain. That's an ideal betrayal. We see it in health, people go to the most well-meaning, very good doctors, coaches, healers, therapists to manage a stress-related symptom illness, condition, disease, at the root of it, like we said before, is that unhealed betrayal. And we see it at work too, where let's say you deserve that raise or promotion. But you don't have the confidence to ask because your confidence was shattered in the betrayal. Or you want to be a team player. You want to be a collaborative partner, joint venture partner, but the person you trusted, the most proved untrustworthy. How do you trust that boss, that co-worker that partner, you see? It's just everywhere, everywhere? Lesley Logan 31:18  Yeah, I was just listening to a podcast the other day, and this girl had wrote in a question like, I want to ask for a raise. My raise last time was like 3%. And I really, I feel like I should be making 10 or 15,000 more than I'm making, I feel that people are, but I like had some mistakes in my past jobs. And all I was thinking is like, not at this job. You've been fine at this job. You can ask for the rate and they're like telling her like, you should be looking at what they're paying you way too little for this, you should be looking at these things. And all I could think is like, this poor person is carrying on some weight on their shoulder as if it's like, I mean, the way she said it was as if she'd like killed someone her past job. And it was, I doubt it.Debi Silber 31:57  Yeah. And you know, when you say that, and the first thing that comes to my mind is worthiness and confidence shattered. That's a betrayal. I'm sure, I'm sure. I wish I could speak to her because I'm sure that's what's at the root. Lesley Logan 32:09  Yeah, I feel like okay, you guys, you guys study all these people. But I feel like almost you don't go through life without like, no one gets flipped through life being unscathed. I feel like betrayal can happen. So some of it so intentionally, I guess maybe it's unintentional as well. Even the people who are cheating on their spouses, like (inaudible) they intentionally I'm betraying this person, but like, it feels so personal like we talked about the beginning, that I feel like it can happen in a lot of different instances just by being part of the world. So I guess I'm wondering, like, is there a way to prevent betrayal?Debi Silber 32:42  You know, integrity? Yeah, here's and that's the thing. It's, it's such a part of our of our lives. And, you know, you wonder, it's like, Why in the world, would this be such a part of our lives, I kind of look at it as it gives you an opportunity to completely catapult yourself to a level of you, you never even thought possible, you know what it's like, it's like, you know, my kids used to love Legos, right? So imagine there's a Lego structure sitting in a corner of the living room, it's that good. It's just there. It's been built, right? And then one day, it's just completely knocked down. Rebuilding yourself, and transforming after betrayal is like looking at that Lego structure and say, you know what, I don't want to use that piece, I don't want to build it that way. I'm gonna use this, I'm gonna do it like that. And you are recreating everything. And betrayal lends itself to creating an entirely new version of you, where you take all the parts of you that you love, and you leave behind everything that no longer serves, like if the old you settled, if the old you tolerated, you know, stuff that this version of you doesn't want to if the old you didn't speak up for yourself, whatever it was, you have so many opportunities after betrayal, because everything's been leveled to decide who it is you want to be. And this isn't just having to do with another person. This is with yourself. Like, for example, after my betrayal, I realized, you know, I was so hard on myself, I was always such a, like, I was criticizing myself and so critical. And you know what? I don't want to do that anymore. So I decided that after betrayal, I used to always do things that I would call so stupid and so dumb, like, I'd get lost wherever I go. It's just part of what I do. They just get lost. And I decided, You know what, I'm just not going to call myself those names. So now when I do those same things, it's simply adorable.Lesley Logan 34:39  Yes, what a kind of way to talk to yourself.Debi Silber 34:42  I'll get lost just as I always do. And now I'm like, you're just so adorable. You see what I mean? So it's like you get to rebuild whatever you want. That's the opportunity but you never access that stuff. When you're stuck. Because you're like I have my story. It's like think about it. I had very powerful story all the people that I trusted all betrayed me. But look at the story now, you know, the books, the TEDx talks, the Institute, thousands of people, to the certified coaches, like, it's a way better story.Lesley Logan 35:12  Yeah. Okay, one more question. Um, now that you've gone through this, and like you've helped all these people who recover and get to stage five, do you find that people who've gone through stage five, if betrayal happens to them, again, they handle it? They don't have to go through all the stages again, or like, do we have to go, we have to, like, we feel all the feelings. Debi Silber 35:34  It's two things. It's number one, it doesn't, it doesn't happen that way, again, because your BS meter is so strong and so sharpened, that you don't attract those types of people in your lives. If you do, there's another lesson needing to be learned. But the good news is you have the tools to get right, you get through it so much more quickly. And like the emotional trajectory of this is like this, and you you breeze through it so much faster. It's like, first, you are so profoundly sad. You're like, oh, my gosh, how could they do this to me? You know, you're heartbroken. And then it moves towards anger, where you like, how do you do that to me, like, what, and that's actually healing. And then you get to this place of almost like pity, like, really, that's like, that's what you have to do. That's actually a really, really great place. Because it's almost as if you were in the picture. And now you're out of the picture, looking at it, seeing it for what it is and realizing it's not you. So that's huge. And then you move, you keep going with the healing, you move towards compassion, when you're in compassion, you're good, that's when you're healed. That doesn't mean you excuse it, you're setting yourself up for it again, none of that, it just means you have completely healed and use the situation to create the most healed healthy, whole, complete version of you.Lesley Logan 36:54  Oh, I love that I that. There's something like very promising and hopeful about that because it, it means you don't have to repeat all of the stuckness and the level three, and you can move through it faster. And I think like you are right, the opportunities are so key. Every person listen, I feel like some of the, you mentioned earlier, some of the best things that have ever been invented have come through people healing from something, you know, I just interviewed a guest who lost her husband to cancer. And she wrote because of how she noticed how people treated her during his cancer. And then after she read a book on like, here's how you help people, and you're going through something, and like, I feel like, you know, we can, it can be so easy. Why is this happening to me, but also not that you'd ever want, like, wish for bad things to happen to you. But my goodness, like, the things that do come from the shit are helping so many more people. And you get to have this incredible journey around you and learn from these lessons. And it doesn't have to be your story. Debi Silber 38:02  Right? Oh, you're so right. And it's so true. Think about it, you know, the most the best health experts. I know, they've been in the worst of health situations and they created their own concoction and healed from it. Someone who's you know, so great at helping you with, let's say finances, maybe they were broken, they came up with their whole recipe. So it's I feel like we have an obligation if we've been through something and we've sort of created a path. How do you not share that like when the five stages showed up? I'm like, How do I keep this myself? You know, so I put the five stages in a program and it blew up and then everyone wants to work with me and lead. Well, how do I do that? So I created our certification program because I wanted to get these five stages out to everybody. And then that blew up and I was like, Wait a second. I did the research. I know what works. I know what doesn't work. What would happen if I put everything that has proven to work under one roof. And that's the PBT Institute. Lesley Logan 38:55  So amazing. You're doing incredible things. Oh my gosh, Debi, this is I feel like so enlightened. I feel like I've got tools. I hope our listeners do too. I could keep talking to you. We'll have to definitely probably revisit this topic again with you soon. But we're gonna take a brief break and find out people can work with you. Lesley Logan 39:12  Now. Okay, where do you hang out? Where's the best place people get your books, people can work with you if they've gone through betrayal? Debi Silber 39:20  Yeah, everything can be found in the PBT as in Post Betrayal Transformation, the PBTinstitute.comLesley Logan 39:26  Perfect. Okay, you've given us some amazing tools and just so much information that I think will help everybody be it till they see it even in the midst of a betrayal. But before I let you go, bold, executable, intrinsic, targeted steps people can take to be it till they see it. What do you have for us?Debi Silber 39:42  You know, I would say if you're stuck in stage three, these are four questions I invite you to write down that's my way of saying write these down. Ready? First one, am I numbing, avoiding distracting? If so hell call yourself on it? Do you walk into the refrigerator, the kitchen, open the fridge and not the least bit hungry like what's going on? Do you go into a room put a TV on because you're desperately trying to drown out the sound of your own thoughts? Call yourself on it. Number two, what am I trying not to see? Call yourself on it. Am I trying not to see that health issue that needs my attention? That relationship issue? The job I hate? Third question, what's life that will look like in five to 10 years if I keep this going the same way you're dealing with it or not dealing with it, play it out. How does it look? The fourth question, what can life look like in five to 10 years if I change now? Not saying it's easy. Transformation begins when you tell yourself the truth.Lesley Logan 39:46  Yeah, and also like you can't, you can't be it till you see it if you don't have some ideas of where you want to like where you want to go to some sort of dream of something that can be on the other side of amazing. I invite you guys to write those questions down and go through it myself. A.k.a., do it. Oh, my gosh, Debi, thank you so much for being here. Y'all, how are you going to use these tips in your life? Please make sure you share this episode with a friend who you know who is going through some betrayal. You know, that person is that person stuck in stage three that you're like, oh my gosh, I wish I could just pull them out. Just send them this episode. You know, you don't have to tell them why you could just send it to them. And please tag Dr. Debi Silber, the Be It Pod and let us know what your takeaways are. We love hearing what these are because it does allow us to see the impact that we're making in your life. And until next time, Be It Till You See It. Lesley Logan 41:25  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day.   Lesley Logan 41:52  Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod. Brad Crowell 42:07  It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell. Lesley Logan 42:12  It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co. Brad Crowell 42:17  Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi. Lesley Logan 42:24  Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals. Brad Crowell 42:27  Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time. Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/be-it-till-you-see-it/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

In this episode, Lesley and Brad unpack the critical role of communication in feeling appreciated and connecting deeply with your partner, inspired by Kelli Adame's relationship takeaways. They discuss the nuances of expressing needs and desires, the importance of honoring each other's contributions, and how to navigate the complexities of masculine and feminine energies for a stronger, more connected relationship.If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co. And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.In this episode you will learn about:The impact of narcissistic upbringing on your romantic choices.The inherent differences in how men and women approach relationships.That appreciation is both given and received in relationships.The importance of respecting masculine energy in partnerships.The role of self-care in enhancing personal joy and satisfaction.Episode References/Links:Studio Growth Accelerator ProgramOPC Summer CampCambodia February 2025 Early Bird4-Week Pilates ChallengeDiary Of A CEO Podcast EpisodeHow Not to Let Having Kids Ruin Your Sex Life by Dr. Karen Gurney  If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. DEALS! Check out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper's Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox Be in the know with all the workshops at OPCBe It Till You See It Podcast SurveyBe a part of Lesley's Pilates MentorshipFREE Ditching Busy Webinar  Resources:Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!Lesley Logan websiteBe It Till You See It PodcastOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley LoganOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTubeProfitable Pilates Follow Us on Social Media:InstagramFacebookLinkedIn  Episode Transcript:Lesley Logan 0:00  There is a divineness just to be in your feminine and it allows you A. to ditch the perfection and ditch the control and ditch always being responsible for everyone's feelings all the fucking time like we gotta let it go. Lesley Logan 0:14  Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.  Lesley Logan 0:56  Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview recap where my co-host in life, Brad, and I are going to dig into the appreciative convo I have with Kelly Adame in our last episode. If you haven't yet listened to that one, you should go back and listen to that one. And by the way, while you're at it, listen to our first one and then come back and join us. Today is the official day of March 28th 2024. And it's National Triglycerides Day. Brad Crowell 1:16  It is.Lesley Logan 1:17  I don't think those are good. Brad Crowell 1:19  No, they're not. Lesley Logan 1:20  Okay. So just like all things in life require balance, so does our nutritional intake. Too much of anything, even if they're vitamins can be harmful. This is why, this is the reason why high triglyceride levelsBrad Crowell 1:32  It's not that triglycerides are bad, high triglycerides. Lesley Logan 1:35  High triglycerides, which are important lipid compounds that help with providing us with energy can be extremely detrimental while in many cases high triglycerides levels can be treated using medications. Recent studies have shown that in older people, namely 50 and above, that's not older, 50 is not old, triglyceride levels rise because of hormonal changes. If you're not sure what this even means speak with your doctor. If you have high triglycerides there are foods you can eat that will help you lower your levels. Whey protein products, fatty fish, whole grains, quinoa, avocado, coconut oil, garlic and cruciferous vegetables. Brad Crowell 2:09  Nice. Lesley Logan 2:10  Thank you, have all been shown to significantly reduce triglyceride levels. Ultimately, talk to your doctor. You know what, if you don't trust your doctor, talk to a different doctor, like if you have a doctor who won't test all of your levels, including your hormones get a different one advocate for yourself. You know that doctor I didn't like, everyone knows, we talked about it in the podcast, we talked about how much I don't like her, my insurance company just let me know that she's no longer in network for me, so I have to find a new one. I'm like, well, I was gonna find a new one anyway, so thanks.Brad Crowell 2:35  So if you're wondering what a cruciferous vegetables is.Lesley Logan 2:38  Is it like cauliflower? Brad Crowell 2:39  Yeah, cauliflower, broccoli, cabbage, kale, bok choy, arugula, brussel sprouts, collard greens. Lesley Logan 2:45  Some of those will make your pee smell. And that's how you'll know you're doing a good job.Brad Crowell 2:50  That's really what you're looking for y'all. Smelly pee. Lesley Logan 2:52  Hey, come to the Be It Pod for random facts on your triglyceride levels. But also, I just reject 50 being older people. I'm over that. No, because I'm 44. I'm 40 what do you mean 42? That's bullshit. Brad Crowell 3:08  That's a BS. Lesley Logan 3:10  Yeah. Anyways. Brad Crowell 3:12  Well, I just figured, you know, like, or heard about, you know, nutritional health and all the things but I didn't know there was an entire day dedicated to the awareness of high triglyceride levels.Lesley Logan 3:25  Well, because we live in a place where we have to, like make a holiday. Like okay, did you know the other day I was listening to a podcast and it was National Equal Pay Day it's like why the fuck is there a holiday? To remind? Brad Crowell 3:39  It's probably an awareness day. Lesley Logan 3:40  It's an awareness, it's still considered a holiday, right? If you go to the you don't look up awareness days, you look up holidays, right? So it's on the holidays calendar, and companies should just pay people equally for the same amount of work. Period.Brad Crowell 3:56  I agree. Lesley Logan 3:57  Doesn't need a fucking holiday. Anyways, just get a little irritated on this.Brad Crowell 4:03  Those triglycerides took you down a bad road there.Lesley Logan 4:08  I love cruciferous fruits I eat vegetables. I eat them all the time. Okay, so you guys. This is this in like three or four days Brad is doing the Accelerator which is a studio growth accelerator program. So if you're a Pilates teacher, studio owner, you can attend this amazing two-ish-hour webinar. Brad Crowell 4:27  It'll be April 4th. Lesley Logan 4:27  April 4th to be exact. And here's the thing that's so cool about it. He's going to teach you stuff and then you're gonna work on that stuff. What? Brad Crowell 4:29  Yeah. Teach and work on it. Lesley Logan 4:34  So it's not, so it's not like we talked about this (inaudible). It's not like you're just gonna get tons of information with no integration because you'll get constipated. Yes, you can have cruciferous vegetables, but you can also integrate the things you're learning. Also coming up in the first weekend of June, it's summer camp. Oh, I didn't give the link for that. It's the Studio Growth Accelerator. If you are wanting to sign up for that, you should. Agency members. You got Brad, you know don't need to do this. Brad Crowell 5:01  You don't need to do this. Lesley Logan 5:02  You've already done this. Go to prfit.biz/accelerator. And you'd be surprised that accelerator's two Cs and one L. You know, I thought it had two Ls and it doesn't. So prfit.biz/accelerator to snag your spot it's like last chance so you got a few days. But then summer camp is the first few days of June like specifically the first Saturday and Sunday of June.Brad Crowell 5:27  Yeah. This is going to be a big deal, y'all.Brad Crowell 5:29  You guysBrad Crowell 5:30  This is like a huge, huge event. Lesley Logan 5:31  So everyone loves summer camp last yearBrad Crowell 5:33  And you don't want to miss it. Lesley Logan 5:34  We wanted to make this summer camp the biggest thing ever. And like we also know that there's not a ton of in-person Pilates events for people who are nerds of Pilates. So this is not just for teachers. This is for people who practice Pilates, too. And so the OPC teachers and I are doing workshops and workouts, then we're bringing in some guest teachers as well. You can literally spend entire day with me moving your body and how like learn from so many amazing people will have a pre and postnatal workshop in there as well. So if you can also buy day pass, I mean, there's just so many awesome things. If you are on the waitlist, you are going to get one of the best early bird prices now I say one of it's because OPC members will get the best. So the best thing you can do is be an OPC number. But if you're not ready to commit to us yet, totally get it. Go to opc.me/workshops plural, and you can get on the waitlist and you will hear when the doors open for summer camp. And you can get the early bird special on all the goodness that's happening and you'll have lifetime access. So if you're like oh my gosh, guys, I'm busy. Guess what? You should buy it while it's on early bird because full price is a lot of money. And then you can have access to the replays. Also Cambodia. Oh my God. You guys. At the time we're recording this we only have one spot left in October.Brad Crowell 6:46  I just marked it and sold that.Lesley Logan 6:47  No way. Did we sell it? Brad Crowell 6:49  Well maybe.Lesley Logan 6:51  Don't count your chickens before they hatch, Brad. Anyways, I'm gonna say it because until it's sold out sold out. We have one spot left now according, this is March 28th. I'm recording earlier. So it might be sold out by then. But anyway, crowsnestretreats.com to see if there's one spot left in October and if not, you'll see the early bird rates are up, are already up for February 2025. What?Brad Crowell 7:10  Oh, yeah. Lesley Logan 7:12  For the first time since 2020 we will be back in Q1 of a year in Cambodia, which is a really unique time because the sunrises are a different color that I, here's the thing, I love how green everything is in October, but I prefer the sunrises in February. I know I'm weird, but like, hey, it's (inaudible).Brad Crowell 7:32  Just little drier. It's not quite as humid.Lesley Logan 7:34  Well, I like it (inaudible). It's always gonna be humid, it's Cambodia, but, it's Asia. But the sunrises are really cool. And it's not super close to the spring equinox. But it's like also close enough that you can kind of trick your camera into looking like the sun is right over the center. Because you know, you don't have to Photoshop you can just kind of angle it. So you want to go to crowsnestretreats.com to snag the early bird rates while they're still early bird rate. You don't want to pay full price for that. And then don't forget, if you're looking for a four-week Pilates challenge you can go to, you could always go (inaudible) you can always go to opc.me/challenge and hop into our mat or reformer challenge anytime. So it's a four week on the reformer or a four week on the mat. We start with 10 minutes. And these are accountability programs, it's really what they are and they're so fun and you get tips on how to like create a Pilates habit, and I made these for you. So use that. OPC.me/challenge. All right, Brad. Brad Crowell 7:34  That's not a guilt trip or anything but you should go do them anyway.Lesley Logan 8:35  Go do them. Just go do them.Brad Crowell 8:38  I love it. Yes, we do have an audience question because I know that's what you're about to ask me. Risa E, recently asked me on a call, hey, what is a client avatar? Lesley Logan 8:48  Okay. I mean, if we think back to Hilary Hartley, she doesn't like the word avatar because it sounds like a fake thing. And but here's the deal. We still call client avatars because it's shorter, because we were joking around with her like ideal real person client avatar. But your ideal client avatar, Brad will be more specific about this but the way you want to think about this is if you could carbon copy a person to do Brad Crowell 9:17  Your favorite Lesley Logan 9:18  Your favorite person that you ever, you're just like are so excited to (inaudible) them on your schedule or you have a shop, assuming your shop, didn't carbon copy this person that would be your avatar, your muse another way to think of that, your muse, your inspiration for what you do. But also it helps you understand how to talk to someone, who you're talking to. What are their problem? What is the problem they have? No one, people don't really need luxury items. So you have to be a solution to a problem they know they have. And so if you don't know who your avatar is your ideal real person client avatar. You are talking to everyone which means you're talking to no one. Even when we are talking to you on this podcast. I don't see your faces, but I am picturing some of the listeners who I know listen, hi guys, every single time the episode drops shout out to let's go, Heather, Amanda, hi mom. Oh my gosh, Laura. There's so many of you I don't want to leave anyone out but at the same like, I'm picturing you guys I know when I'm interviewing someone, I'm thinking about you, because I actually know the questions you would ask that person and so that is dictates how the episodes go and who I bring on the pod and things like that. And so what you need to think about is a real person that you want to speak to all of the time. And I know that niching down scares the hell out of you. Because oh my god, what if they reject you? Well, it just means your messaging is off. It doesn't mean it's not personal. And so that's what a client avatar is. (Inaudible) on that, Brad? Brad Crowell 10:43  Yeah, totally. I'm going to be going into this, you know, more in depth on the Accelerator on April 4th. So if you really want to get nerdy with me, go to prfit.biz/accelerator and join me for that workshop. It's a two-hour workshop. It's gonna be great. We're gonna dig into that. And also, how do you, you know, how do you actually bring more clients in your studio? And then how do you empower your clients to bring their friends and family into the studio? So if you are trying to jumpstart your studio's growth, or any of that kind of stuff, join me for that accelerator program. And yeah, as far as an ICA or an ideal client avatar, the idea is that somebody that you know you're talking to and so it allows you to visualize who they actually are. When you're connecting with them you're actually speaking their language in a way that will allow them to go ho, this girl is for me, this product is for me. Brad Crowell 11:43  Did you say ho? Ho!Brad Crowell 11:44  I was going to say hey yo and then I don't know I caught myself saying ho.Lesley Logan 11:51  (Inaudible) Christopher Walken singing Poker Face.Brad Crowell 11:55  P-p-p-poker Face. Oh that's the best YouTube video. Lesley Logan 11:58  Look it up, I promise you my ICA, listen to this, will love Christopher Walken.Brad Crowell 12:04  Singing Poker Face. Yeah. Google it. Alright, so anyway, yes, that is an ICA. Great question. Thanks, Risa. Love it.Lesley Logan 12:14  You guys can ask us any question you want. Someone just asked our entire team what pants I was wearing when I did a video and my team had to like track me down to go which pink shorts are these? Which I love. Okay, so Alright, let's talk about Kelli Adame. Brad Crowell 12:31  Kelli Adame, a seasoned relationship expert with a background in psychotherapy and coaching excels in guiding individuals and couples through the complexities of modern love and relationships. With a profound understanding of the balance between masculine and feminine energies, she offers nuanced guidance in communication, dating and building fulfilling relationships and marriages.Lesley Logan 12:53  Yeah, I wanted to have her back on because it was just so many. There's so many different things we could talk about when it comes to these and like the first time we had her on we had so many people who loved it. And I have to share this because so many people are like, oh my God there is this one person. Yeah, there was this one person who was like, I was into this until she said we have to be passive to be in our feminine energy. And it's like, she didn't say like, you just take what you get like, like she had no way to said like, just accept what's coming. It was very much like no, like be be willing to receive, you know? Brad Crowell 13:26  Yeah, I don't even remember if, I don't remember passive, but I remember the idea of receiving. Lesley Logan 13:32  Well, and I do think that that word came out in the interview when I was doing it because I listened to the whole thing. And before y'all get like a little triggered by it well, word, listen to the before and after take it in context. She explained what she, like she explained what she meant by passive. So when I was in the interview, listening to her and taking that in, I didn't take it as like, we should just like, be passive and just like, take what we could get it was very much an action of receiving and like we did a retreat recently, and one of my girls was wanting to give me a comment, I want you to receive this and I said, oh, I am, I'm gonna sit here, you're gonna tell me and I'm just gonna say thank you. And I'm not actually going to give you a compliment back. I'm just going to sit here in the receiving of that. So. So I think like. Brad Crowell 14:16  Also, I think that we have this weird preconceived notion that, you know, one person always demanding or getting and the other person is always receiving. And that is not what the context of that was. Nor is that reality, there's always a give and take in every relationship. So there are moments where you're receiving there are moments where I'm receiving and that is, hopefully, that's that's actually a healthy relationship.Lesley Logan 14:39  No 100% Because like, I also have never taken her explanation of like massive feminine energies and that there's this I won't say her name because I don't want to give her any air. But there's this one woman who like in her household, her husband makes all the decisions all the time. And I was like, no. That's a hard no. Brad Crowell 15:00  Yeah. That is called an unhealthy relationship. Lesley Logan 15:03  Because I can be in my feminine and also, when it's needed make decisions for this relationship for myself, I don't need permission. So anyways, I just wanted to highlight that because, again, one, first of all, there's always been someone who doesn't get something out of something. And also, ladies, we, there is a diviness to be in your feminine and it allows you a. to ditch the perfection and ditch the control and ditch always be responsible for everyone's feelings all the fucking time. Like, we gotta let it go. And if you are wanting to have a healthy relationship, it is going to be like, I make sure and I'm not always good at this, but I love to make sure that Brad feels needed. I can do a lot of shit around the house by myself. I mean, I did almost burn it down. But I can do a lot by myself. But also, it's like super good to, like, let you shine and do some cool, like, there's amazing things you've done with these shelves. And I'm like, yeah, actually really great. Love that. So anyways, I just had to like, get that out there. So I just love her and I love what she is talking about and doing. And so she said she talked, we talked about narcissistic parents, and that will often cause if you have a narcissistic parent, you will often be drawn to a narcissist in your relationships. And so just you know, keep that in mind my loves. We've had narcissistic parents. I'll never forget, my mom told us it was but like, I'll never forget the time she texts me she's like Etsy or Pinterest sent me this, such as this book called Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers, it's probably a good thing, you're not having a child because it's probably passed out like a hereditary trait. And so the narcissism can stop with you. So anyways, you can be drawn to a narcissistic partner. And she said, sometimes the work is more just spending time tending to yourself, it's actually a loving decision. And so again, like and you can be in your feminine energy, and just take care of you like just say no to things, take a hot bath, enjoy amazing music, like set a space for yourself. There's nothing selfish about that, that is actually like being in your feminine, really awesome. And she also talked about like, it doesn't matter where you are, or whatever you're doing, you can learn to fully embody your feminine energy in that way, or in different ways. And then she also said, if you, when you into when you're integrated in that feminine energy, you're going to attract something different. So if you find you keep attracting, this is why single ladies, I'm sure we have a few good men listening. But on Brad's actually doing All the Single Ladies right now he's dancing.Lesley Logan 17:46  If you're wanting to attract different things in your life, you have to actually have a different energy because we actually what we put out is what we are attracting things, right. So you actually are in control of that. And I just I was just listening to a happiness talk on Diary of a CEO and the guy was like, he's a scientist at this. And he says, no one likes when I say this, he's like, but you are actually in control of your happiness. You can change how you're feeling by the words you're using. And so I loved it, because it made me think of this interview. It's like, when we integrate our feminine energy, when we choose to be in that you are going to attract something different you are in control of how you attract things. So it's not passive.Brad Crowell 18:25  Right. Right? Yeah. So this was a really interesting conversation, for me to be a bystander in, on, at listening to, I remember being really intrigued during the first episode. And that happened for me again, this time, too, because just really, first off, she's very learned, right? And well educated about this kind of stuff, but also to the way she describes it makes me laugh. And also made me aware of things that may be happening in my life or in our relationship. That is like, oh, cool. Okay. I never even thought about it in that context before. She said that women are wired for relationships. She also said that men are wired for non-relationships or polygamy. And I thought that was interesting. Lesley Logan 19:22  You never heard that before. Lesley Logan 19:23  No. Oh, it's like a whole thing. Brad Crowell 19:26  Okay. Well, she said, she said, the, when it comes to why would a man who's wired for you know polygamy choose monogamy is because they like to win. And, you know, the hunters, right? They're trying to win. And what Kelli said is that when she's working with men, most often they actually don't feel appreciated in a relationship. And so why would they decide to stay in the relationship if they're not having, they're not feeling like they're winning. Right? I appreciated your comment about the shelves. It also made me laugh because I feel likeLesley Logan 20:16  I would just hire someone. Brad Crowell 20:18  Yeah, I don't think you would ever fucking do that. So letting me do that is pretty fun. Lesley Logan 20:22  Yeah, no, I would just hire someone. We had this conversation last night, you were telling me to do something like, or just hire the person to fix this.Brad Crowell 20:29  So what she talked about was criticizing or, you know, she said, the men that she works with often say, it doesn't matter what I do, I never feel like it's enough. I always feel like, you know, I'm being nitpicked or whatever. And I can do no, right, it's never enough. And so, you know, eventually, that builds up resentment and all those kinds of things. You know, so she, she then asked you, like, why would a man give up options for all the women to be in a relationship with a woman where he doesn't feel appreciated? I'm pretty sure that's not what she said. She actually said, why would I give up all the other vaginas? Just to have one? If I don't feel appreciated? Lesley Logan 21:07  Is that what she said and our team changed it. I love you guys. I do or call that oh, okay. I guess let's just talk about like vaginas? That's right. Yes.Brad Crowell 21:21  Which I was like, wow, okay, my jaw hit the floor. And she said because a man likes to win and if he can win with you, that is, that can be worth becoming monogamous and being excited to stay in a relationship in a committed relationship and all that kind of stuff. And so, there, you know, there's, it's kind of like a mission. It's built into humans into men, in this way that I've never really thought about it like this before, I didn't actually know that.Lesley Logan 21:58  It's interesting, because like, Brad Crowell 21:59  I don't feel like it is, I don't feel like it is, there is a bit of an ego, especially when we first started dating when I was like, like, I got you off the market, you know, kind of a thing, especially because Lesley Logan 22:10  (Inaudible) I told you don't take me off the market, if you're not gonna marry me. Brad Crowell 22:13  Well, it wasn't even just that I also knew that, you know, we were both also, like, seeing other people to try to figure out who we wanted to spend time with. Right? And so there definitely was a bit of pride that I felt as we decided to, you know, commit to each other, for sure, you know, and, but that was like, 10 years ago, you know, almost at this point. So, that.Lesley Logan 22:41  Really close to 10 years this summer. Brad Crowell 22:43  Yeah, kind of crazy. I haven't really thought about that in a really long time, to be honest. Lesley Logan 22:48  Well, I think the other thing is, like we were we were listening to (inaudible) talking about, like, six human needs. Right. And so we have an interesting thing when it's like certainty to me, right? And also, we need uncertainty. And so like, I also think, you know, I also feel for the woman who's also saying this to the man or make the man feel this way, because she probably also feels underappreciated. So but like, for to me, and I don't think that Kelli and I got into this, but like, if another certainly women who probably do this always, but for me, if I am starting to, if I find myself starting to nitpick or think about you in a negative way, it's because I am feeling I'm doing a lot. And I am feeling underappreciated as well. And so what happens is, when one person feels underappreciated, they start taking on the other person and the other person feels underappreciated, but like, literally no one's communicating about feeling underappreciated. And so I think that it's really important, because like, what I don't want is women to be like, yeah, he's not doing anything, probably. But also like, and also, there are other ways to say like, it means a lot to me when x, y, and z happens, and when this isn't happening, it makes it really hard for me to show up in this relationship in a in a positive way. Brad Crowell 24:07  Yeah, well, I mean, yes, that for sure. But also to what Kelli said, is, basically make sure let him know how he can win with you. Right? And, you know, what does that actually mean? And honestly, that ultimately comes down to communication. And, you know, I think that when you know what will win someone over, I'm just trying not to use the word win, but when you know how you can succeed in a relationship, you're more likely to do that.Lesley Logan 24:37  Well, it's also like, let's just say it as a job when you actually know how you're going to be appreciated at work, how are you gonna be recognized, how you're going to have affirmation at your job, you do it, right? If you're at a job, and I don't want to think of a relationship as a job, but like who okay she keeps, she, sorry guys are lovely Gaia is taking out a light, when you are at a job and you don't know how to win at your job or feel succeeded or have affirmation or feel like you're doing things, right. You feel lost, you feel confused, you feel frustrated, you get upset. It's the same thing. So not that your relationship is a job, but it's a, I think of our relationships Lesley Logan 24:37  It's an easy comparison. I mean, we go through it at the workplace, in the workplace, right? So, you know, yeah. I get that. Lesley Logan 25:23  Yeah. So I think like, for all any of you out there, like, I don't think relationships are ever easy. And I think it's actually always a give and take. And that's why I also love having Kelli back a couple of times to explain, like, both people in a relationship have both masculine and feminine. And it's important to know when you're in either of those, and then to communicate how you feel. And it is not easy. Like, it's, it's, it's never going to be easy. But if you really actually care about the person, it's actually worth the communication, it's worth the time. It's, it's worth understanding and hearing things from that person's perspective and figuring out how you can, you can do that.Brad Crowell 26:01  And here's how, like, here's the other side of it, is that when he knows how he can win with you, he will do his best to win with you, which is a win for you. Right? So, you know, I think ultimately, communication and clarity and understanding how, you know, you can, can set each other up to, you know, both be getting what you want in a relationship. That's, you know, so that's, that's like my biggest takeaway with it. Brad Crowell 26:30  All right. So finally, let's talk about those Be It Action Items, what bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted action items, can we take away from your convo with Kelli Adame? She said, to honor the masculine and look at where you are being critical, I thought this was again, I thought, this is really interesting. Look at where you are trying to teach or preach or change your man. And I find it hilarious that I'm the one saying this in this conversation right now, but. Lesley Logan 26:57  I'm not taking it as a note. So it's okay. Brad Crowell 26:58  Yeah. The, you know, what you discussed, which I'm just going to refer back to your conversation is that, obviously, it can be, it can turn into a mothering relationship, because one of the things you talked about was, you know, a, you know, badass high performing woman who ends up with, you know, a Peter Pan style, like, childlike man, who is just being taken care of you, we're talking about a specific relationship where three years in, she was like, I'm done, you know, and, and that was like, you know, annoying and complicated. And it was because, you know, the role was always the woman was driving things, being in the masculine, masculine energy, running things, providing all the things and, and then it never actually allowed for there to be the give and take. And to me, it doesn't sound like that. Man was trying to step up anyway.Lesley Logan 28:00  Yeah. Well, also like, and, you know, it depends on how the relationship started. Because also, like, if it started off with him being a Peter Pan and her always taking care of him. It's not like, magically one day he's gonna read her mind and step up, like, you know what I mean, like, I think that's another thing. Brad Crowell 28:15  That's true. Lesley Logan 28:16  I was listening to when we were on our way to Mexico I was listening to this podcast from various CEO with this sexpert, who she was talking about one of her books is like, it's like, how to stay married after having children, or how to have sex after having children, something like that. Anyways, she was explaining how, in a lot of relationships, when the child, a child has entered. First of all, there's so many things that happen to a female's body that make it complicated to have sex, you have to wait several weeks, after for things to heal, maybe longer depending on how things are going. And then she is tired. Because the baby wakes up all the time. And if the partner in her life isn't also stepping up in other ways to help out and she finds herself, making food for everybody and clean up after everybody and doing and scheduling things for everybody. Then she has the children and an adult child. And once she starts to mother, the husband and I'm not saying that that's her fault. Once that happens. Yep, it's no longer sexy, right? Because it'd be weird to want to have sex with your kid. And so (inaudible).Brad Crowell 29:29  Yeah, that's exactly right. And you talked about that too, with Kelli. And what she actually said which was, which I found really interesting was you said typically, the person who makes the first move in the relationship is the one that's taking on the masculine energy in the relationship.Lesley Logan 29:45  Yeah, you did that for us. I made sure of it.Brad Crowell 29:51  Anyway, glad I could step into that masculine role. Lesley Logan 29:54  You're so hot. Thank you so much.Brad Crowell 29:57  What was your biggest takeaway? Lesley Logan 29:58  Try to do an hour a day of checking in around just feeding your feel good time. And one of the other ways to describe this actually is Feel Good Friday. She takes half a day on Fridays, and she scheduled things that helps her feel good. And I think this is actually really if you are if you have stuck around on the feminine conversations and you still feel a little lost, go get your nails done. Go get your hair done, go get a massage. Why? When you get your nails done, you do feel pretty, but also you are receiving, someone's taking care of you when you get your hair done. Oh my God, I love to get my hair blown out. I love it because I will never do it for myself. And of course, I feel so pretty. I felt even with no makeup. I'm like, wow, I can be in a Vidal Sassoon commercial, I love this. And you feel more and more like taken care of and you're so busy taking care of others. You get a massage someone is like pouring into you. When you do Feel Good Fridays, it actually is going to be so much easier for you to step into your feminine because you're actually practicing the art of receiving. So I really, really love that. And then she said above all else like progress, not perfection which you know, we're all about here in the Be It Pod.Brad Crowell 30:34  I love it. Lesley Logan 30:47  I'm Lesley Logan.Brad Crowell 31:10  And I'm Brad Crowell.Lesley Logan 31:11  Thank you so much for listening to us, for being part of our conversations, for sending your questions in, for sharing the pod. I really do love when you guys just take screenshot of the pod and then tag me like it makes my day because I'm like, oh my God, they love this episode enough to share it. Like that's so cool. Also lets me know what episodes you're enjoying. So, continue to do that and until next time, Be It Till You See It.Brad Crowell 31:32  Bye for now.Lesley Logan 31:34  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day.   Lesley Logan 32:02  Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod. Brad Crowell 32:17  It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell. Lesley Logan 32:22  It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co. Brad Crowell 32:26  Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi. Lesley Logan 32:33  Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals. Brad Crowell 32:36  Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/be-it-till-you-see-it/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

In this episode, Nada Nasserdeen shares her transformative journey from a high-powered executive to hitting rock bottom and rising anew with a vision to empower individuals. Explore how her personal experiences led to the birth of Rise Up For You, a platform focused on enhancing leadership, emotional intelligence, and confidence. Discover the importance of reevaluating your beliefs and the impact of self-confidence in achieving success.If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co. And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.In this episode you will learn about:Rise Up for You's empowerment via leadership and human skills training.How Nada's macro confidence turned Rise Up for You's foundation.Why early conditioning instills limiting beliefs that shape our actions.The "Four B's" method to combat limiting beliefs and boost confidence.The transformative power of self-belief and one's ability to learn and adapt.Episode References/Links:Nada Nasserdeen on IGRise Up For You InstagramNada Nasserdeen WebsiteRise Up For You WebsiteGuest Bio:Nada and her company, Rise Up For You works with clients around the world to enhance company leadership, growth, and personal development through transformational coaching, training, on-demand learning, and educational events. Our mission is to elevate you and your team's potential by providing high-quality training and coaching in soft skills- the most needed skills today and in the future. Make our superpower your superpower! Elevate your leadership, emotional intelligence, communication, confidence, success, and more.   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. DEALS! Check out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper's Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox Be in the know with all the workshops at OPCBe It Till You See It Podcast SurveyBe a part of Lesley's Pilates MentorshipFREE Ditching Busy Webinar  Resources:Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!Lesley Logan websiteBe It Till You See It PodcastOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley LoganOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTubeProfitable Pilates Follow Us on Social Media:InstagramFacebookLinkedIn  Episode Transcript:Nada Nasserdeen 0:00  Life does not discriminate. You have no idea what's going to happen tomorrow. And I know for me, this is me, at the end of the day when I put my head on the pillow I don't want any regrets. I want to be like hell yeah, I lived my best life. God forbid, if something happens to me tomorrow, like, I'm proud of what I did and I feel fulfilled, and I don't know if most people can say that. Lesley Logan 0:22  Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.  Lesley Logan 1:01  All right, Be It babe, get ready. This episode is for you. I mean, they're all for you. But this one is really for you. This one is important and not just inspirational but, my goodness, integral into what you need to know about yourself to take action on what you want in this planet and what this world is. Not every day is going to be a great day. And not every day, you're going to feel like the badass that you are. But after this episode, I think you're going to have the tools to communicate with yourself around like what do you want? Why are you thinking this way? Why is that coming up? Why are you talking about stuff like that? So Nada Nasserdeen is our guest today and I knew when I met her she was epic. Now that I've had this time to interview her, I just want to hang out with her as much as I can. Luckily for me, she lives in Las Vegas. But at any rate, here is Nada Nasserdeen. Lesley Logan 1:52  Hi Be It babe. Welcome back. I'm so excited for Nada Nasserdeen to be our guest today. She's a powerhouse. I met her through one of your favorite guests, Michael Unbroken, and we have to celebrate July 4th, which feels like a New Year's because we had fireworks together. And we just instantly connected and I just love her energy and her how she is seeing the world. And so Nada, thank you for being here. Can you tell everyone who you are and what you rock at?Nada Nasserdeen 2:16  Yes, thank you so much for having me. It's an absolute honor. So, as you mentioned, my name is Nada Lena Nasserdeen, I'm the CEO and Founder of Rise Up For You and we get the greatest honor to work with organizations and individuals around the world to enhance leadership, culture, really all the human skills that we never really get taught, you know, the confidence, the mindset, how to communicate effectively. Those are really the most important skills that we need, not just in our career, but in our personal life. And we often don't get taught that. So we get to do that cool work again, within companies or one-to-one with individuals around the world. Lesley Logan 2:51  That is so cool and you're correct, like, no one teaches us how to be analytical anymore. There's zero leadership skills taught anymore. And so then you have this amazing idea, you start a great company or you start your own business and you have success. But then you have to hire a team or you're on a team and it's like, okay, how do I get people to work for me? Like, how do you do that? So how did okay, well, how does this get started, though? How did you? Did you fall into this? Is this always been a vision of yours?Nada Nasserdeen 3:18  How much time do we have here? It's a long story. So it really, you know, I guess I noticed the gap. In my first career, I was a performer. So I used to tour the world internationally, I would do musical theater, I would sing and dance. And I would realize like, when you go on a tour, you have about 40 people on that tour, 40, you know, singers and dancers. And I realized when we would go on tour, that there were just so many challenges on the road that when we would travel, but it had nothing to do with our technique, right? Like we were amazing singers, amazing dancers like the second we hit the stage, we were flipping rock stars. But when we were driving on the bus, or when we had these off, or when we were rehearsing, there was continuous conflict. And I'm like, okay, there's a lot of like people challenges on the road. That's when I first started to recognize like, there's a lot more to what we do beyond just the technique of singing and dancing. After about seven, eight years, I hung up the microphone, put my tap shoes away, and I actually became an executive for an education corporation. And I saw the exact same thing happening in the corporation. So I'm about 27 turning 28, I have 200 team members under me. These individuals have PhDs, master's degrees, bachelor's like all the certifications and credentials and everything that you need. But nothing was working in the culture because people couldn't communicate. They didn't know how to lead effectively. The culture was toxic individually. People didn't feel fulfilled, lacking confidence, self-doubt, impostor syndrome, and all those things compiled really did not make like a healthy culture or just a healthy and fulfilling life for these individuals. Nada Nasserdeen 4:56  So that's when I really started to ask myself like what is true success? We've been taught for so long, like, chase the degree, get the technique, get the credentials, but no one really ever tells you about the secret sauce or what I like to call the "it" factor that really does make up somebody's success. So again, these were all just like thoughts in my head. And these were things that I was noticing. I went through my own personal journey. And overnight I resigned from the company as an executive after about a four and a half years, I moved out of the country to settle down and get married. And in four weeks, my husband said he wanted a divorce. So I lost everything. So I went from a six-figure executive, to a house on a lake, to $100 in my account, no job, no car, no nothing to luggage. I get back on a plane, from Canada is where I went, back to California crying, bawling so confused and embarrassed about what just happened, lost everything. And my father came to me in my dream, my father had six heart attacks. So by the time I was going through this challenge in life, he had already passed. And he came to me on the airplane when I was crying, in my dream, and he said Nada, everything you need is already inside of you, you just have to rise up for you. Now I know it's hard, but if you could see the book back there, called Rise Up For You, that's the company that I started building. I just came back to California and I said, rise up for you. I don't know what it is. I don't know what it means. I've never built a business before. Like, I don't have an entrepreneurial background. My degree is not in business. But I just started building Rise Up For You. Nada Nasserdeen 6:33  I started asking myself, okay, what am I good at? What do I love to do? What do people think I'm good at, like, I asked about 10 of my friends. And I just started building the company or the brand, I should say, because you know, the first year or two, you're really just building the brand. About three months after I came back from Canada and I started building Rise Up For You, my mother, my second parent, was diagnosed with stage four cancer out of nowhere. So I built the company out of the hospital, I took showers at the 24-Hour Fitness and I would go back to the hospital open up my laptop, what do people need in the world? You know, what is coaching? Who's Tony Robbins, and I really just started to craft. And with my experience that I had prior as an executive and as a performer, and the things that I was seeing happening and what I was going through, I'm like, okay, what does it really mean to build a life that you're proud of and what are the skills that we need? And out of that, out of that pain came the company. Lesley Logan 7:30  Nada, that's so amazing. First of all, I, I love that your father came to you in your dream. And I love that you actually, it's kind of interesting how it all happened with your mom, when you were back in California. So you could actually be there with her and like, you know, like, she could also somewhat be there for you as going through this big transition. But like, I am constantly amazed by these obstacles that we go through. And how frustrating it probably was to be on the road. And how frustrated it was to be an executive with these people who have all these degrees and all these talents, and they're wasting them because there's infighting, there's all this, you know, back fighting and all this stuff. But also all of that led you to being able to see a problem that needed to be solved and can be solved in so many different scales. Like, you can be in a big 200-person company and it can be on the road for a musical tour. Like it's kind of insane how that led you to here. I just I'm amazed and never surprised but it's always blows my mind because we tend to go, what's the thing that's going to make me successful? And it's like, well, what you went through your past that you experienced that you actually have, you actually have some experience in solving and seeing, you know? Nada Nasserdeen 8:39  Definitely. And it's and even from like a speaking perspective, right? You know, like, I speak a lot, you know, obviously, I'm on stage, podcast. And, you know, oftentimes I get told, like, you're awesome on stage. And I'm like, but you know what? I performed for so many years. I had no idea as a performer that 10 years later, I was going to be talking and being on stage and pretty much doing the same thing, just with a different tool. One tool was (inaudible) one tool is you know, empowerment, mindset, and you know, the training and development that we do.Lesley Logan 9:11  Yeah. So how many years have you been doing Rise Up now that it's officially been going and like, what are you excited about working with it today? Like what's the big goal for today?Nada Nasserdeen 9:21  Yeah, great question. So the brand was about two years, and then the actual business is five. So a total of seven. And the reason why I say that is because the first two years I didn't make a dime. There was no business model. It was just let's, you know, put content out there for free like a blog, you know how it was back in the day, like you had your blog and you would do podcasts and that kind of stuff. And then after about two years, I thought no like if I really want this to go somewhere and do something, I need to, I put need to put you know, my foot in the fire and I just need to do it. And that's when I started like actually building the monetary side of it and then just catapult from there.Lesley Logan 10:00  Yeah, thank you for sharing that first two years, I think so many people, watch businesses and brands and personal brands grow online and they go, oh my God, they're just making, they're just skyrocketing. They're doing so much, they're making so much and what people don't realize is like, the first two years, if you're making money like that, good, great. It's also the hardest two years. And it doesn't have to be successful in those first two years for it to be successful later on, like really taking in information and providing value is the most important thing one can do.Nada Nasserdeen 10:28  Yeah, especially when you're in the service industry, which, you know, there's a lot of solopreneurs, and coaches and consultants out there, like you're the product, you don't have a product that you could just give to someone, and then they're like, oh, yeah, give me 10, you know, you're the product. And so you really have to build, you got to build some clout, you got to build some credibility, you have to build, you know, some kind of brand around you first, lots of speaking for free, like my first two years, just to get out there so that people can see like, oh, she's good on stage, or, you know, she's got a great message, or even just to collect footage to put up online, like a lot of that the first two years. And then from there, it was like, okay, we can we can do something with this. And honestly, from there, it's been crazy, like we quadrupled during quarter during the COVID. And even last year, the research just came out that about 60% of small businesses fell behind last year, we more than doubled last year in 2020. So it's just been it's I mean, which only doesn't speak to us, it just speaks to the need (inaudible). Lesley Logan 11:33  Well a little bit of both I think like, one, people are finally aware of the need, and then also like you are there, you know, that's what, like preparation meets opportunity. You know, like the people are, what here's what's amazing. Like, we also had, it was one of the hardest years for us one of the best year we've had, we've consistently every single year made more, which I'm so proud of. And, and I don't share that to brag, and I don't think even Nada sharing her success is bragging, I think it's really important, ladies, listen to this, you need to hear how businesses are growing, because you can hear from the people around you, ah it's bad, there's a recession, like there's all these things. No one says anything good about the economy ever. So. But like, the truth is, is that people are realizing if their teams are not happy and satisfied as a human being they can leave because there is such a demand for good people who can do great work, and companies need more and more people to do those things. And so I think it's really cool that you are able to be an asset to these companies actually help them create this opportunity to see their people and work more functionally with their teams. Is that like, am I on the right track? Because that's what like people are seeing for you. Is that what you're going in there for?Nada Nasserdeen 12:44  Totally. Yeah, and we have the two divisions. So we have the, you know, the company, the corporation and then we also have the individuals because I mean, it's really sad to say this, but I'm sure you see this too. Most individuals are just not happy and they're on autopilot. And they don't feel fulfilled, they don't have clarity. They're not like present in their life. And most of the time, it's because, again, they've never been taught these tools. Sometimes it's so overwhelming, they don't know how to get out of it, like, okay, I have a job, I pay my bills, I have my kids, every single day, I have to do this, but they don't feel happy, they don't feel fulfilled, and they just don't understand how to make the shift. Or maybe the courage and the confidence hasn't been built for them to make the shift, right? Because there's a disruption that needs to happen if you want to create massive change in your life. So we really tackle both areas, because, you know, companies are made up of people. If people walk into an organization and they're unhappy, and they're unfulfilled, I mean, I don't care what company you work for, it's not gonna work because people bring their challenges and their pain into the workplace. It's fulfilling to do both. It's fulfilling to go into an organization and see the culture shift and the leadership change and for people to have aha moments. And it's also really amazing to sit across from somebody that may be really wanted to build a business, but they're scared. They don't know how to, but they just start it. And then they see the fruits of their labor happen. Lesley Logan 14:07  Yeah, I love that. Because I'm in college, I didn't think I was ever using this degree. And then I realized I had been using it the whole time, but like, my degree was interpersonal and organizational communication. So like one one-on-one, and then how a business communicates. It's really quite funny. And then like, I became a Pilates instructor and I thought oh gosh, why did I get that degree in the first place? But then because I became a fitness business coach and because of the company that I created for Pilates, like it is all interpersonal communication and organizational communication. And when I grew my company to a place where I actually had to hire a team, that was one of the hardest thing so to like, talk about being a human being you take it to the workplace, if you're not used to asking for help, you can hire all the people that you want. You have to ask them to do things and like you have to that is a leadership skill of like how do I ask for help and how do I get the help that I'm wanting and how do I communicate that. We took massive growth and Then, when my husband came on to the team, we worked with a coach to like, figure out, you know how this was going to run. And she was like, oh, you guys are in the wrong roles. And so he took over as running the company. And even then even with that as like, oh, that's amazing. But I had to learn again, like, okay, then what's the leadership I have in this company? Because now someone else is like running my vision. What does that look like? And it really it's like, consistent need you guys, every level, there's a new devil, but you have to like, if you don't fix the things that you're on autopilot on now, you'll have to fix them later. And it'll be a little bit harder when the business is bigger.Nada Nasserdeen 15:35  Yeah, and it's also, you know, I come from this perception, and it could just be my experience of, you know, so much loss at a young age, like, by the time I was 31, turning 32, I lost both of my parents and then betrayed myself, you know, and also felt betrayed by someone that I loved. So I think that, you know, what I see today is a lot of individuals that are very entitled, when it comes to life, like, we walk around as if we have 10 lifetimes to live. And we don't like we forget that God forbid, tomorrow can be the last day or even three hours from now, we just don't know. But we have a very entitled mindset around like, oh, I have time I have time, I have time. And I think once an individual breaks that mindset and says, like, no like and creates urgency, they start to take action more because the last thing you want to do, and I see this a lot, is five years from now somebody else can somebody will come back and be like, five years ago, I wanted to help and I never thought it and I thought I could just whatever, figure it out. And now it's five years later, five years has gone by and I'm in the same spot. You know what I mean? So it's creating that urgency, because life does not discriminate. You have no idea what's going to happen tomorrow. And I know for me, this is me at the end of the day when I put my head on the pillow. I don't want any regrets. I want to be like Hell yeah, I lived my past life. God forbid something happened to me tomorrow. Like, I'm proud of what I did. And I feel fulfilled. Yeah. And I don't know if most people can say that.Lesley Logan 17:06  I think you're sadly You're right. I, I really thought like maybe that the pandemic would change how people live their lives, because like, my goodness, we had like, an entire full year and depending on where you lived, where you were, like, how do I want out it? Like how do I want to be when this is all over? Like, like a big pause. And so many people got even more negative and more entitled, and more like, and not, and not seeing like the gift that we had of a reset. Like I saw that as like such a reset like this was it sucked. You know, I'm not gonna say that, like it was the most fun refunding thousands of dollars, at the beginning of it, and starting my whole business over from scratch. But like, I really did take it as like, okay, if all of this is leaving, what is it curating space for? And who would I want to be on the other side of this? And I'm not saying like, I live this life, like, I don't I sometimes do live like I have 10 lifetimes. I try to think of it as like maybe two more. But like, I think it is so easy for us to just lean into we have tomorrow, everything's guaranteed and just wake up at five years. And it's the frickin same. And I did not want that. When 2020 happens it' like no, when this is all over, I want to be further along than when I started. And I want to take advantage of this. I wonder like, how do you help people speed up the decision to change their life like that? How do we get people to not waste five years before they finally come to your to get your help?Nada Nasserdeen 18:28  Yeah, that's a really good question. The first thing for me, and this is what I see predominantly across all clientele is confidence, it's self-confidence because most people don't take action and move forward because they're afraid, they're afraid of failure, they're afraid of rejection, and maybe they don't know how to do it. And they don't have the self-confidence to like, sit and learn and figure it out. Right? There's, anytime there's the procrastination, or anytime a behavior is occurring, whether it's a lack of action or an action, it's because of the belief system that's been built. So, my team and I, we ask, every year, we assess thousands of professionals, 83% say their number one challenge is self-confidence. Like, think about this, 83% of professionals say their number one challenge is self-confidence. And these are educated professionals that are executives that are running like Fortune 500 companies, you know, and so the challenge is not content. It's not whether or not you have this skill or can learn this skill, like we're in 2024 Think about you can go on Google right now and figure out how to build the business, how to do whatever you want to do.Lesley Logan 18:28  You can even ask it to create content for you at this point. Like there's not an obstacle here, guys, except for you.Nada Nasserdeen 19:43  Exactly right. And so, like the content and the tools and the resources to build a life that you're proud of is all there for most people except for those that are maybe in a third world country that don't have internet and you know our capabilities. So, the challenge is not what can I grab and get a hold of it's where am I at? What's happening with me, and it always comes from it comes from here. And that's why people procrastinate and struggle with taking action, they have to re-write the beliefs that they've been programmed to have of being afraid of failure, being afraid of rejection, like, if you want to move forward, and you want to create massive change in your life, you have to be unapologetically self-confident, to the point that your identity is not defined by the mistakes and the failures that you have. And most individuals struggle with that. And it prevents them from taking action because they don't want people on social media to see them and be like, oh, look at them today or they're afraid of doing a video because people think they're gonna, you know, make fun of them. They people-please, they're afraid of, you know, putting people down, they don't have healthy boundaries in their life, all of these things cripple people from building the life that they want.Lesley Logan 20:59  Yeah, it's, I mean, it's amazing how much lack of self-confidence there is, it's, feels like an epidemic on its own. Because like, I meet so many people who are so amazing, and they just don't have the confidence that they can do the first next step. And as with my friend, Kareen, y'all, she's been on the podcast before. And she's like, confidence is Faith in Action. Like, it's not doesn't mean you have proof that you can do it, it's that you have faith, that if you take the action, it's gonna work itself out. And you know, it's such a simple way of saying that, but so many people have more faith and fear than they do in them taking the next stepNada Nasserdeen 21:39  100%. So I break it down into this is, this is the way that I teach, train and speak about confidence. There's two types of confidence that we have, okay, we've been taught our whole life to build what I call micro-level confidence, okay, micro-confidence, meaning that we're taught to build confidence and categories, competencies, or things. So for example, we go to school our whole life, and we're taught to like get good grades in math, in science, like whatever credential, we go to university, some of us will get good grades in that competency, in that subject, right? So we're taught our whole life to build confidence in these things, but those things aren't sustainable. Nada Nasserdeen 22:19  So for example, I'm very confident as a speaker, I'm confident as a singer, but those things change, like, God forbid, I can lose my voice tomorrow, and then I can't speak or sing anymore, right? That's micro-level confidence. And they're constantly shifting. This is what we saw with COVID, we had, there were people that were having major meltdowns that came to work with our team, because they've only ever known themselves as like this high-function leader, this business owner, this six figure role, that's how they identified themselves and all of those things shifted and changed during the COVID. And they were like, who am I? What's my worth? What value do I bring to the world, because their identity was attached to this micro-level of confidence, okay? Then you have the real self-confidence that we want. And that's what I call macro-level confidence. Macro level, confidence is an inner belief in your ability to learn, pivot and grow. Macro-level confidence is a belief that even when you fail, and you fall that your outside circumstances don't define your work and your self-esteem and who you are as an individual. Many individuals do not have this macro-level confidence. But the macro-level, confidence is what gets you to build the micro-level confidence. So think when I you know, I shared my story about building the business, I didn't have any micro, like, I had no idea how to build a business, I was never an entrepreneur, I knew nothing about nothing, like did not build a website, like had no freaking idea. But I had the macro-level confidence to say, okay, the current situation that I am in right now sucks, but I believe in my ability to learn. And I believe that I can like go and figure it out. And everything that I'm going through right now does not make me a crappy person, it does not mean that I'm not good enough, it does not mean that I don't add value to this world. It's just a situation that's occurring. And I'm going to use my pain and skill for growth, that's macro-level confidence. And I was able to take action because I understood that even if I take the wrong action, that doesn't make me a bad person or not enough, or whatever the thoughts are that we have in our mind. And because I had the macro-level confidence, what happened I built more micro, which is building the business and then all these extra micro little things started to get built. And that is most important for people to understand. But if you don't believe and bet on you, you know, how are you going to pivot in the next five to 10 years when artificial intelligence is coming or something else, God forbid, happens in society. You talked about the recession earlier. Right? Or you know, COVID that's all a mindset, right? That's the self-confidence and the monkey chatter and the fear that we feel, but I can tell you now I know people, including myself that they flourished during COVID, they flourished during the recession. I know we did. Because for us, it's like, no, we're taking action. Like, we're not going to get into fear. We're not going to get into worry. We're not going to scarcity mindset. We believe in who we are, we believe in what we're doing. And we're just going to continue to take action and tune out the noise. Lesley Logan 25:20  Yep. No, you're you're 100% right there. I think like, people who make decisions on their business based on fear, and what the media is telling them is happening. There, there, there's no way you can have macro-confidence or micro because you're taking advice from people who do things for clicks and views. And the longer you watch on there, and like having the confidence in yourself, which would, same here, both in COVID and in the last year, it was insane what we were able to do when everyone was saying those things were impossible, or things were bad. And, you know, it really isn't. I don't think you and I are anomalies. It's just very much like believing in ourselves and taking the action that follows through with that. Do you think okay, so obviously, this is what you coach on. But I guess like, for that macro-level confidence, like, where do people need to start? Because, like, we can sit here and say you believe in yourself and people can be nodding in their cars, like I need to believe in myself, but like, where do they how do they actually start building that like belief in them that they can handle things?Nada Nasserdeen 26:22  Great question. So I'm going to take it back a little bit, and I'm going to be fully transparent, some people are luckier than others in their path in life that shifted their confidence. And this is what I mean. So there's two schools of thought out there when it comes to confidence. Some, you know, research and scientists and people that are in this space, say that you're either born with confidence or you're not. Right? And then you have the other philosophy that's like, no, it's a skill, you can build it. I believe it's both. Because when you think about babies, for example, when they're born in this world, they are so flipping confident, like, they do what they want. They say what they want, they explore, they touch, like, they don't have fear in their mind. It's not a part of who they are. When they learn to walk, and they fall on their bum 100 times, they don't care if people are looking at them or not like they get back up, they keep trying, it's part of their nature. But some of us are born into cultures, households, parents, society, things that are external, that immediately shift our confidence and how we feel about ourselves, okay? And some of us are born into very, like beautiful, loving circumstances, that give us more confidence. And many of us are born into situations where, you know, we're told that we suck, and we're not good enough. And we can't do that starting at a young age. And then you go to school, and maybe your teacher says the same thing. And then maybe you get bullied. And so then it validates that, and then you get into your first relationship, and they break up with you because you're fat or ugly, and they don't think you're good enough. And then it re-validates that belief system, then you get your first job and your leader's unkind to you. So all of those things impact our confidence. And I would say there's only a lucky few that had like a pretty positive journey that's taught them to love themselves and be confident and be kind, okay, I happen to be one of those people. I'm very lucky. And I always, I always say that because I was built, I was born into a family of two parents that when my parents would drive us to school, when I was five, they would say affirmations like today, you're going to be amazing. And we would have to repeat it. If we came in the house when I was seven. And I was like, I can't do that my dad were like, don't you dare say I can't in front of me, like so we were taught that at a very young age and I consider us to be lucky. If you haven't had that path, then we need to rewire the brain. This is where the neuroscience comes in. And we need to do some strategies to shift the belief system. So I use something called the four B's it's what we call reverse engineering with the company. It's a blueprint that we found in. There's four B's to to reframing and reverse engineering your belief system so that you can actually build confidence. Because if your beliefs aren't working right, then your blessings aren't going to come to fruition. But they're all connected. Yeah. So the first belief is, and there's a lot of these, are start writing down the limiting beliefs that you have. Now, this takes a self-awareness for you to catch it. Right? So for example, if you want to raise your hand at a meeting, because you have something to say, but you walk out of that meeting and you don't raise the hand, write down, limiting belief. Why didn't you raise the hand? What's the belief that came into your mind? Did you not raise the hand because you were afraid that people were gonna think you're stupid or you were afraid they weren't going to accept what you wanted to say? Like, what's the belief? Write it down, the limiting belief. Limiting belief, meaning that it got in your way, right, it sabotages. The second B is what's the backstory to that belief, whatever that belief is, where did it come from? And the backstory is usually the most difficult to identify because it usually stems like, you know, years and years ago. So example I didn't raise my hand because I was afraid that the leader was going to shut me down and think I'm stupid. Okay, well, where did that come from? Why do you think they're gonna shut you down and you're stupid? Well, the first job I ever had, you know what I mean? It's like, you have to trace it back. The third B, which is so important, because this is what people usually are attuned to, is, what's the behavior that it's causing? Because our beliefs are creating behaviors in us that sometimes we don't even know we're behaving in a certain way. And what I mean by that behavior is, for example, somebody gives you a compliment about your clothes and then on autopilot, you're like, oh, no, I look ugly, whatever. Like that's a behavior that you just that (inaudible). It could be that you're overly aggressive with your partner, with your romantic partner, it could be not raising the hand and then meeting all of those things or behaviors. So we have to understand the belief that you have that's limiting you, what's the behavior that it's causing? Because the behavior at the end of the day is what we want to shift, but it's attached to the beliefs, they are all connected. And then the fourth B is now how do we break it? How do we break the limiting beliefs so that we can shift the behavior and that's not one size fits all. It's a little bit different for everyone. Some people. And I know that this was true for me. The second I found out that my limiting belief was attached to like Bobby Joe, let's say, and then Bobby Joe's, like, it made so much impact on me that it then impacted this behavior that was preventing me from getting the money that I wanted. I was like, wait a minute, Bobby Joe, is not that powerful. Bobby Joe from 20 years ago has like, really impacted me to the fact that this belief is impacting my behavior to like, go and ask for, no, I can't accept that. Sometimes. It's that simple for somebody, you know what I mean? And other times, you know, we need to work through it a little bit more and do more digging and more self-awareness and reflecting.Lesley Logan 31:58  I think that thank you for bringing up Bobby Joe. Because like, I think a lot of people have a lot of Bobby Joe's holding them back. And like one of the things we coach people in our business, we're like, you know, it's time for you to raise your rates. And some people, they're like, I gotta do it, I'm gonna do it. They just do it. Some people, six months later, we're still talking about doing it. And I'm like, so which client are you not raising your rates because of? Like, there's a person that you're afraid is gonna say something nasty? It's one person. And you are affecting your entire company on this one client that I bet, I bet if they left you you go, ah. And it's a Bobby Joe, because we have these limiting beliefs that we can't do something because of whatever is going on. Oh, it's such an I love those Bs. Also, because you're correct. Our behaviors just reflect what we believe is possible. So if we can actually have awareness, it makes it easier to take steps. And you can do this with each one like each and every single one. And it's true, how far back you have to go. You guys, I was doing some morning pages I talked with on a podcast episode about a year ago. I don't cook around the house. I'm like, I can't cook. I don't cook. And I was doing these morning pages with this artist way group we're doing and it came up that when I was like seven years old, my grandfather said, "What are you stupid?" When I made a grilled cheese sandwich. And I made it correctly, everyone, I made the grilled cheese sandwich correctly. But the way he said it to me, and it shut me down. I never, I don't cook. I don't I didn't cook anything. I didn't even start. And I was like, Whoa, my whole life. I didn't even try to cook. Because I just like the seven-year-old me was like hearing like you're stupid you can't like and that's not like I was actually hearing those words. But like it's a, the behaviors match this limiting belief that was happening that happened so long ago in my life. So, my goodness, Nada, we could talk forever, but I really love that you gave us those four Bs. And I really love that you actually, instill that idea of like macro-confidence, because I think that's a really great takeaway for people to kind of focus on. Obviously, we'll have to have you back. But we're going to take a brief break, find out where people can find you, follow you, work with you and your Be It Action Items. Lesley Logan 34:02  All right, Nada, where do you like to hang out? Where can people connect with you?Nada Nasserdeen 34:06  Awesome. Thank you. So definitely, you can check us out at riseupforyou.com We have a ton of free resources. We actually have something that's pretty cool. It's the masterclass that we have. But we create the masterclass for yourself of your need. So we have this cool algorithm, you get in there it's totally free, it asks you a couple questions and then based off of how you respond, it drives you to the masterclass accordingly. So if you come to us and you're like, hey, I'm looking for confidence it'll drive you to a confidence masterclass boot camp, if you're like, hey, like I'm really struggling with my personal brand, it'll drive you to a masterclass on personal brand. So check that out. It's totally free. It's riseupforyou.com but I love to play on Instagram and LinkedIn. That's my zone. That's my space. please connect with me follow me there. I do my own Instagram and LinkedIn messages. So like you're not going to get a bot if you send me a message I'll definitely respond to you. Lesley Logan 34:57  Amazing. Oh my gosh, I also love that I don't think I've ever had anyone on here who is like a, like, create your own adventure tool.Nada Nasserdeen 35:05  That's a great way to say it. Lesley Logan 35:07  Yeah, I love create your own adventure, I do create-your-own-adventure birthday parties all the time. Like, I'm like, here's where I'm gonna be you choose what you want to do. So I'm in that all the time. Okay. You've given us so much actually already. But I do want to in case people want to just like get some at the end, bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted steps people can take to Be It Till They See It. What do you have for us? Nada Nasserdeen 35:27  Yeah, the first thing that I'm going to say is this, really fast, is everybody has negative beliefs including myself, and I do this for a living and wrote a book. And every single day I talk about confidence and soft skills, right? Human skills. But it's not about getting rid of all your negative beliefs. That's just not the human condition. It's about working through the belief system and building self-awareness so that you can shift the behavior so that it serves you versus sabotages you. So it's all about managing your belief. It's not that we're going to exterminate every single negative thought that we have. But it's about catching the negativity and being like, oh, no, we're not going to go there. And like driving it and shifting it into something that can serve you. So that's why those four Bs, I'm going to go back to the four Bs because that's really the starting point. And it's not easy, but those four Bs are going to serve you because when you catch the belief, it's not about like, oh, I have a negative thought. It's like, wait a minute, why do I have this belief? Where's it coming from? And is this sabotaging me or serving me? And if it's not serving you, then we need to figure out how to shift it. And that's what that four Bs is there to help you do. But I don't want people walking around thinking that like, oh, I can't have a negative thought I have negative thoughts every day. But I'm really good at sticking up for myself to myself. Like I looked at it being like, Nada, don't you dare talk to yourself like that, like, stop it right now. Get rid of that thought. And it's miraculous what it does. I'm like, yes, stick up for myself to myself, just like I would, if a person down the street came to me and was like Nada, you're not good enough. I'd be like, excuse me who are you talking to? We have to do the same thing to ourselves. Lesley Logan 37:02  Yeah. Oh my God, I do love that because sometimes I'll have a negative thought and like, I'm so conscious of a negative thought, like, why would I bring that negative energy into this space around this idea? And I literally like, what are you doing Lesley, like you, are you, that's not who you are. Take that back. Think of another positive thought before you finish this, like, little thought process in your head. And I think like, oh my God, if someone could hear like, it was a transcript of like the conversation in my head all day, it would be a book long every day. And it would be a little bit of back and forth between myself. (Inaudible) 100%. Oh, my gosh, Nada, you are awesome. It's so incredible what you were able to create. Thank you for sharing your whole story. I just it's so important that people hear that like you don't have to have all the answers to get started. And also how like, just by sticking up for you and really focusing on what you believe in that you can create amazing things no matter what's going on in the world. So you're just incredible inspiration. Lesley Logan 37:54  You all, how are you going to use these Be It Action items in your life? Let us know. Tag Nada, tag the Be It Pod, share this with a friend who you're like, oh, my goodness if their confidence could just be a little bit better or maybe they need something like Rise Up For You, just share it with them because that could be the easiest thing that they do today is just start to think about themselves and what's holding them back. And until next time, Be It Till You See It. Lesley Logan 38:16  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day.   Lesley Logan 38:43  Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @Be It Pod. Brad Crowell 38:58  It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell. Lesley Logan 39:03  It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co. Brad Crowell 39:07  Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist Gianfranco Cioffi. Lesley Logan 39:15  Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals. Brad Crowell 39:18  Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time. Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/be-it-till-you-see-it/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

In conversation with Ashley Black, Lesley uncovers the world of fascia therapy. They discuss how Ashley's personal health challenges led to her creating a groundbreaking tool called FasciaBlaster and her dedication to educating others. Listeners will learn about the importance of fascia in overall health, and gain valuable insights into Ashley's unique perspective on balancing scientific research with entrepreneurship.If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co. And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.In this episode you will learn about:Ashley Black's journey from battling arthritis to becoming fascia health pioneer.How Ashley's FasciaBlaster revolutionizes connective tissue treatment.The balance of running a business while maintaining scientific integrity.Fascia's critical role in overall health and Ashley's approach to effective treatment.Ashley's strategic expansion and focus on educating people in fascia therapy.Episode References/Links:Ashley Black InstagramAshley Black FacebookUse this link to get 40% off our FasciaBlaster® fascia regenerating kitAshley Black WebsiteAshley Black Blog PostsBill KazmaierBE…: From Passion and Purpose to Product and ProsperityGuest Bio:I own an international company specializing in the health of the human connective tissue, fascia with over 30 years experience in fascia therapy. I invented the FasciaBlaster tools for regenerating this system of the body and have sold $170MM. I was the first person to do a TED talk about fascia, the first person to have a #1 Best Selling book about fascia and the first to publish peer reviewed science showing in ultrasound imaging to regenerate the fascia.  If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. DEALS! Check out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper's Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox Be in the know with all the workshops at OPCBe It Till You See It Podcast SurveyBe a part of Lesley's Pilates MentorshipFREE Ditching Busy Webinar  Resources:Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!Lesley Logan websiteBe It Till You See It PodcastOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley LoganOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTubeProfitable Pilates Follow Us on Social Media:InstagramFacebookLinkedIn  Episode Transcript:Ashley Black 0:00  I don't care if I have to, like take an umbrella and, you know hook you in with something that resonates with wherever you are in that moment. You know once that they are in I'm gonna have time you know to kind of let the story unfold.Lesley Logan 0:19  Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started. Lesley Logan 1:01  You guys, welcome to the Be It Pod and pinch me. I'm so fricking blessed. I'm so honored, I'm so inspired. This interview is just, as a female business owner, you don't often meet people who are like in the thick of it, who are willing to share the journey and be honest and open. And then also be supportive as fuck. And I say that because our guest today is this person. This is and we have Ashley Black on the Ashley Black experience, and the blasters, fasciablasters, I have several tools and I'm going to buy them all. Lesley Logan 1:41  I wanted to bring her on because her personality, what I saw on videos and what I saw her tools doing that could change your life, not just what the aesthetic part, but also like, I know what fascia can do in the body. And like having tools to take away pains, aches, and imbalances, it literally is what helps you be it till you see it, right? Like if you have any pain in your body, if you've got something that is distracting you from your dream, it's going to hold you back and so wanted to have her on for so many reasons. And then I met her and like honored is an understatement. She's just the fucking coolest. And she's so open and honest. And I think it's really, really important to highlight and high five and share when there are female business owners out there that are not only there to help the people that they made their product for, but they're willing to also support the other women who are in aligned businesses. And so I'm so grateful for this connection, for this episode. We've got some amazing stuff coming up. I'm working on a special thing for you guys, for the Ashley Black products. So we'll make sure somewhere in this episode, we'll add all those links in so you'll have that as well. And then make sure you're following me because I'll have those if you're really, really interested in it, and you don't know where to find it or you didn't understand the ad for it then just DM me and I'll get it to you but you are going to love her. You're gonna love this episode. And by the way, you know, I love the Be It Action as always, but like, it's very rare that someone actually does all four and she did all four and get your pen and paper out. It's gonna be amazing. So here is Ashley Black. Lesley Logan 3:25  All right, Be It babe. I'm gonna fangirl a little bit only just because I just discovered this. I don't know where I've been. I've been under a rock. But today's guest blows my mind. She's incredible. I've watched more videos of her than any person I've ever interviewed before. And so we've Ashley Black of Ashley Black Experience here. Can you tell everyone who you are and why you're so amazing?Ashley Black 3:47  Well, thank you for that. I'm gonna fangirl out on you because I don't listen to anyone's podcasts. I'm a very busy woman and I also hate technology. And I love your show. I love what you're doing. So thank you for having me. I think it's a great fit.Ashley Black 4:03  The short of it is that my name is Ashley Black and I invented some tools called the Fasciablaster. If you wiki me I'm best known for that. Although obviously there's a huge story behind that you don't just roll out of bed and invent tools and then become an author.Lesley Logan 4:26  You don't just like it doesn't like it's not out of a box like this is the box. Ashley Black 4:31  (Inaudible) and you're just instantly a millionaire. Lesley Logan 4:33  Yeah. And the tools they don't take any time at all to create I mean. Ashley Black 4:40  (Inaudible) in 30 years, I'm an incredible overnight success. Lesley Logan 4:45  That likeLesley Logan 4:46  Thank you for saying that because I think even when I was looking at your stuff, I was like oh my God, like I like how did she do this so fast? And it's like, hold that. It's been decades. It's not you know, we just make up stories when we see people so yeah. Can we talk a little bit about how it got started? Lesley Logan 5:03  Yeah.Ashley Black 5:04  Yeah. So all of this that I do now for a living is based around kind of my entire life, just struggling to be healthy. I was born with juvenile rheumatoid arthritis. So you know, when you're born was something you don't know any different. But I have to tell you, I do feel like my soul came into this existence kind of a fighter and like questioning things, you know, because even as a little kid, my parents would tell me, I would just tell them, I'm not doing that.Ashley Black 5:41  So, I, you know, this is the 70s. So I was being raised when everybody was doing anti-inflammatories, gold shots, they always wanted to take my blood. So I think that a lot of what I do, and I do consider myself holistic health, I do consider myself woowoo. But I'm also still mainstream, but I think that kind of like, maybe there's a better way, in terms of health comes from being a child, and beginning to question the medical institution, my parents and everybody else at a very young age. So that's how it all really started. I also, you know, most children with juvenile rheumatoid arthritis do not become junior Olympic gymnast. And, you know, I was on the dance team in my college and, you know, just became very athletic and became obsessed with fitness kind of in my 20s. I was like one of the first people ever to teach Pilates when no one knew whatever it was and do step aerobics, or things that were like my hobby, right? But it did set the stage for everything that I'm doing now.Lesley Logan 6:54  Thank you for for sharing that. Because I, it's interesting. They'll say, like, when you were a child, like there was a lot of things about you that made you who you are today. And like, obviously, like, I can't imagine being a child with juvenile, like that just doesn't, like kids are supposed to be able to run and play and fall off trees. Like, I feel like, it definitely feels like it brought the rebel in you like, you're not going to tell me what my body can and can't do. And I feel like that definitely had to put you on the path because you have always be seeking out like, how can I do this thing that they think I can't do?Ashley Black 7:25  Totally. And I mean, it definitely extended into kind of being a teenager and working in health clubs. And I'm from Alabama. So I went to this very unique place at a unique point in time, which was called Kaz Gym, it was Bill Kazmaier, who now is very famous for being a strong man. So even when I was in my early 20s, I was being exposed to people who were leveraging fascia for strength, although we didn't know it. So that teased, it kind of teased things up to where I am now. And you know, if anybody says, what is it that you do, I would just say that I'm a healer. But the way that I am a healer is by a very unique understanding of fascia and having that very unique understanding for a very long time. And then developing products around it. And then, you know, when those get in the market, you can refine the products and all that kind of stuff. So, to flashboard the story really what happened was, so it was just my destiny. I don't know how else to say it, when everybody says, tell me your business plan on like, my business plan would never work for anybody but me. Right?Ashley Black 8:40  So when I was 29, I had kind of my second crushing blow health-wise, where I got this bone infection. And, you know, just kind of think mad cow disease meets bone cancer, because it was in my spine, which means it gets into the nervous system. And it almost killed me, I had a true two times cardiac on the table. But the beautiful part of that is that I had a near-death experience. And if you've ever talked to anybody with an ND they come back with this kind of interesting understanding of why they're back. You know, and so for me 100% you know, I don't feel like this is my career. I feel like this is what I was brought back here for which makes it fun and passion. Lesley Logan 9:33  And also I just want like, I laugh when you said like, what's your business plan because I, I resonate with like, I kind of fell into every, every business I have, just like kind of fell into it. I'm like, okay, how do we make this work? But I also think like, having that ND, it kind of the things that would hold a normal, normal person, a person who didn't have ND back, don't because you're like, well, this I'm not going to die from this so you can I don't know, I don't know if that's an actual mindset from you. But like, you kind of don't let the normal obstacles and business or going after your dream stop you. You know, that's how I would imagine. Ashley Black 10:09  The first thing people with NDs and it's funny that you say normal people because I do have a term where I'm like they're a normie. I'm definitely not a normie. But it is a perspective that you learn that first of all, we don't die. So the fear of that is, you know, is removed and yeah, it definitely gives you like, a little bit more of a fierceness. But I think you still have to step into that fierceness. So for me, you know, when I came out of the near-death experience, I had three children under the age of four. Okay. I was a full-on crippled, I, it took almost two years for me to really learn to walk. And I decided to get a divorce. That was a little bit part of the ND for me, too. It's like, my life is different now you did different (inaudible). And you know, so when anyone ever says, well, you know, you blah, blah, blah, this or that. I'm like, look, you can't be in a worse position to start a business than what I was in. But what really started happening for me is I already had all of that knowledge about, you know, from being a personal trainer and fitness instructor. So I knew a lot about anatomy and how the body worked. But no one had ever said anything about fascia. Or, you know, this is kind of really before massage even became a thing. So this was when I was like, 30. So we're still talking 20 years ago. So. Lesley Logan 11:49  I mean, I remember I went to I was in college, I guess I've been like, 2002, 2003 When I was in, like, pre-med class, and we had, there was a body there, like at my college that I could like, look at inside. And I remember them saying like, the fascia, this is something we just like kind of throw of. Ashley Black 12:09  (Inaudible) taking my mind. I discovered it, that's exactly what happened. I went and took a dissection course. And I, you know, I'm a big person that is a big believer that like everything in the universe, and in my yard and in my body was put there, right, it's part of the whole thing. And when I saw that dissection, they were literally like, we're just gonna move this, you know, white tissue away, it's called fascia. And I'm like, move it away. It's the whole damn body. What are you talking about? Like, I don't even I see. You cut it open. And it is this fascia everywhere. So for me, I was trying to heal my hip. So my that is where my fascination is best.Lesley Logan 13:04  That's a great word, your fascia-nation.Ashley Black 13:06  (Inaudible) and you know, there was nothing this is right when Google and everything was kind of starting to come out. But I remember having papers from Chinese institutions, because they study it more. Translate it. And when I say that, I was obsessed. I was staying up all night reading these papers, I couldn't believe that I was learning this and you go through that whole thing like, there's no way I'm the only person in America that knows this and why doesn't my doctor know? And I went through years of that before I finally said, okay, you know what, you're the fascia person. You go learn, you go do it, you figure it out. And by that time I had fixed myself now, we didn't have the Fasciabuster tools, which are wonderful. But girl, I would grab anything from the kitchen. My (inaudible) hey, pull this, you know, but what I understood was that to restore my hip, I needed to look at my knee, I needed to look at my ankle, I needed to look at my ribs, I needed to look at the other side of my body, you know, and when you start to get a picture of this fascia thing, then you're really off to the races. And for me, I went from never hearing what fascia was to treating myself to being flown all over the country to treat Leonardo DiCaprio and Yankees players. It was that sick, but it was literally like I slipped through the fascia wormhole. And I was doing what no one else could it you know? Lesley Logan 14:39  Yeah, I mean, like, it's, I can I'm like, I'm a visual person. Like, I play people's stories like a movie in my head. And I'm picturing like, you going am I the only person in this country that is studying this? And it's like, because we always think there must be someone else. You know, the way that they Ashley Black 14:55  Oh I went to so many courses (inaudible).Lesley Logan 14:58  That's not it. I'm the only person who gets this. (Inaudible)Ashley Black 15:02  It's actually weird and sort of lonely place and I feel fortunate that I just like you were saying, fell into your career, I really fell in early on like working with, like really successful people and celebrities and athletes and things like that. And they do have a different mentality. I'll tell them this quick story, then we can move on, but, Someillan, who's an incredible producer, basically has produced everybody and I was working on all the artists down at the Miami hip factory. And he and I just became friends and he was wonderful. And I would always be like, I want to do this and then I want to do this and I want to do this and he said, Ashley, he's like, the minute you stop saying I want to do and you just start doing it you're gonna be a lot happier. And that was like okay, step in, step into your your power. Right?Lesley Logan 15:57  Yeah, I'd say that's the be it till you see it. I mean, like that's the thing like that's why I created this the title because I was like, people would ask me how do you do this thing? Like, I was not the first person to ever do some of the things I was doing but the way I was doing my industry and teaching Pilates and I'm like, I'm like, how am I doing it? Oh, I'm just doing, I'm just doing it. I'm doing a lot scared. But no one can see on the outside because you don't want people to know you're scared and you don't think you know what you're doing. But I, you know, you got, you got to do it. I love I love that it was Sembalun.Ashley Black 16:27  You know what's funny? I (inaudible) through his voice like, he was like, Ash, what are you doing? What are you talking about? Like, just do it.Lesley Logan 16:36  Okay, so, um, I want to, I want to obviously talk about your journey, your career, but I do want to just go back to the fascia for like, obviously, there's the misconception, we just throw it on the floor when we're, you know, opening bodies up. What are some other misconceptions about fascia that people have, like people are thinking about incorrectly that could be affecting their lives negatively? Ashley Black 16:58  Oh, my gosh, I think the first thing is, you know, when someone has commercial success, and I'm talking about myself around this keyword fascia, you're gonna get bandwagoners, you know, and so if you go on Google right now and just type in what is fascia and hit images, you're gonna see people foam rolling, you're gonna see Theraguns, you know, you're gonna see this expert was featured, you know, and she's doing some stretching, you know, when I look at that, and I'm just like, wow, we're so far off of it. And I blame it on the products people. Like, yeah, foam rolling is amazing, but target muscles, and, uh, you know, and Theragun is amazing, but, you know, target for pain relief, or, you know, whatever. So the biggest misconception, you know, even if you go straight to Google, and you type in what is fascia, they start talking about how it's a sheet over a muscle. So then people have just run with that. And I think that's where the foam rolling came thing came from. But fascia is completely different than that. So let's just first talk about that it has different states, you know how water can be steam and water can be ice, but it's still H2O, right? So fascia doesn't float out of our body like steam and it doesn't become quite as hard as ice, but it has that spectrum. So it can go from very thick and fibrous to kind of like a gelatinous more viscous all the way to liquid, right? So imagine if you were looking at me, and I was just one big Jell-O liquid fibrous, one continuous thing, right? Like a Jell-O mold. And just like you have Jell-O and you can put fruit in it now just go stick my brain in that stick my eyes stick my skeleton and whatever. So when we think about the human body, it literally, the fascia, literally surrounds every single one of our trillion and something cells. And I have to tell you, I would even argue that it's inside the cells. I just created this whole scientific theorem last year. But just for the sake of this conversation, it's literally everywhere in the body. It surrounds every single cell. Anytime we're talking about communication, cell, cell, brain cell, neurons don't touch, it's all going through the fascia. Fascia is what feeds our cells. So it is way beyond like the thing that makes us tight that we need to foam roll. Lesley Logan 19:42  You had a video that I was, I was bingeing where you took a bunch of red straws, and they were still in like their paper or plastic like surrounding and the way you were showing how the fascia surrounds and I was like, that is not how I picture that. I've always pictured like on the surface and that's it. And like when you did that was like, oh, that makes I mean, because it's not I'm not someone who's ever studied it deeply. I've studied very, very deeply in my world of Pilates. But like, where a lot of people who study fascia go, oh, I love how this exercise hits this fascia. I'm like, great, wonderful. I'm so grateful, too, but the way I love when I stumble upon something awesome, but like, the way I was like, oh, that makes so much sense because and then you talk about your hip, and then like, what's going on my knee? What's going on with my ribs? That's the thing that people don't understand is when I have clients Ashley Black 20:36  Or what's going on with my digestion because of my hip replacement. Like, I gotta get it out of orthopedics and into literally every field of medicine and also spirituality, because that's where it belongs. Lesley Logan 20:52  Yes, yes. I think like, when I because I would have clients and that you know, everything we like happen on this, right? So I'm like, yeah, what is okay, that yes, you have imbalances? And yes, I can work on that muscularly. But something is going on on a level that is, this workout isn't going to cure. You need and like, I can only like I wish, I wish 15 years ago, I had discovered you I probably could have done a different job there. But I think it's so interesting. How slow we have become to understanding fascia and likeAshley Black 21:25  I am (inaudible) so I took one of the original Pilates certifications way back in the day when it was only offered in New York and San Francisco, I went to 12 classes studied under Elizabeth Larkam. She's amazing. Incredible moves like a okay, so it is so crazy, because I was just starting to learn this. And I remember asking her and I said, you know, I've designed this I was using the reformer. And I kind of wanted to like take it to her because she was my idol at the time and be like, Oh, look at all this stuff. And she you know what she told me? She was like, you know, this is my place in the universe. But I'm happy for you. Is that crazy? I didn't have that memory until we just said it.Lesley Logan 22:08  So I think part of it is like part of me is like, oh my gosh, Elizabeth Larkam is so amazing. But also another part of me is like, what a gift she gave you. Like she didn't take it for herself and like, let youAshley Black 22:20  (Inaudible) a whole thing and probably fasciablasting would have been part of Polestar if they still exist or Balanced Body or whatever.Lesley Logan 22:28  Yeah, I mean, but like what a what a gift that she gave like she and she didn't deny it from you. She just said that I'm really happy for it. That's, that's so cool. I love when I hear women say something nice. (Inaudible) because I know what it's like, especially in that industry, there are some people that are like they feel larger than life like they've been in the industry so long. You're like, what do you think? And like she could have if she had said something negative, it might have been too much for you to handle at that new confidence in what you're doing (inaudible). She also didn't go oh, I'm gonna do this. I'm gonna put this on my thing. She gave you the permission to do it. I think that's cool.Ashley Black 23:10  100%. 100%. And it's beautiful. Like I certainly don't think I'm the first or even the best. Like there have been many that have gone before and even Joseph Pilates if he didn't know it, he could feel it. Because so many of Pilates movements and designs you are leveraging lines of tension of fascia, but I think that's where like, it's weird, because I feel like the like fitness people have been the ones to sort of gravitate to the fascia, but then kind of keep it in, in the fitness realm. You know, when I read anyone else's research or even look at what people are posting online, I'm like, yeah, man. yeah, as long as it's about what fascia is, you know, there's some people discovering the quantum nature of it. There's some amazing people, you know, that are out there doing, you know, training programs and things like that. But when it comes to like, how do you treat it? Yeah, like how do you treat it and restore it to its native or best possible state? And that's when it's like, okay, there's everybody else and then there's the direction that I'm going, right, a little right across the (inaudible) a few modalities, you know, but at the end of the day, I if, you know, the fascia people have kind of been the nastiest to me, and I think that a little bit of it is that word blaster like they, you know, as if you're like, using a gun and shooting it up, like Star Wars or something.Lesley Logan 24:50  You know what's so funny? My husband is like, I think that blaster is such a great marketing word glad for her because it's like you're basted. He's like, he was just like, way into it, but I doAshley Black 25:01  (Inaudible) I hope he becomes a blaster vader.Lesley Logan 25:05  Oh my God, he will listen to this and I'm gonna I can't even watch his face when he hears it. Isn't that weird how like, it's like some of the people in our own world can be the meanest and the cruelest. And they can't see that, like what you're doing, like, maybe don't like that word. But also that word is something that helps people understand. Like, that's a word that regular people can understand.Ashley Black 25:29  (Inaudible) incredibly complex. You know, like, I, again, I've had 30 years of studying this. It is very complex, right? So what I tried to do was, you know, I did almost 15 years of clinical work before I decided to bring it mainstream. And I wasn't, I haven't had to create the whole industry in terms of mainstream-ness, right? So that means I've got to let you know, number one, that you have fascia, right, and number two, that you should treat it, and then number three, this is how you treat it. And so there, I just think that there's that that disconnect. I also think, you know, at the end of the day, people can be jealous of success, and whatnot. But at the end of the day, for me, not I am literally like water off a duck's back, I really could not care less, I know what my direction and my purposes, you know, but I really, ultimately would love to have all of the fascia people come across the fence, we certainly have had lots of them. The reality is, is that I am the only person in the history of fascia to ever be able to throw up ultrasounds and say, this is what fascia looked like before my tools and my method and this is what it looked like after and it go from the state that everybody knows is bad, which is thick, dry, tangled, and then the, the unorganized pattern of it almost like a, like a spider that makes a web with some sort of problem, right? To this very soft, hydrated, supple. These are all things we can see on the ultrasound. So if anybody questions, the work at this point, I'm so glad I spent half of my retirement, you know, hiring an amazing research lab to do these studies because it's like game set match. Lesley Logan 27:32  Yeah. That's so cool that you I mean, like, it's really cool that you did that. Because I you know, when my friends told me about you, I looked at stuff and I'm like, okay, I'm in products I've been in, I've been doing business long enough. I know how the ads work. I know all the things. And it was when I saw not, not just before and afterwards, I saw like the actual site like you had, I was like, oh, she spent money to have third parties not financially investedAshley Black 28:03  I love this course of action that we're on right now. Because it's, it's so true. You know, my study was $2 million. And you can certainly question well, she did her own study, but I didn't do my own study. And I can tell you this, I don't see the National Institute of Health or any grant writers being like, let me study your product. Okay. It just doesn't happen. I'm not a pharmaceutical. Yeah, you know, and no one's going to benefit but me. But I went and hired the Applied Science Performance Institute. And they did the study, blinded. All I did was the actual you know, design of the protocols. So I met the participants and I taught them how to do it. And I worked with them on what I wanted to measure. So we did DEXA scans, which is really, really cool because you can see where fat is distributed and muscle. So we did the DEXA scans. And then we did the ultrasounds that we just talked about. And then we did a lot of blood markers and the blood markers were for the best possible things like pcp for collagen. We wanted to look at inflammation obviously being an arthritic that's a big deal for me. So we measured the C reactive protein. We looked at irisin, so irisin is associated with telomere length. So now we're talking about longevity. I wanted to look at all of those things. But I was completely hands-off. The researchers did it. They pulled all of the data and what somebody I don't think ever thinks about is what if I was wrong? You know?Lesley Logan 29:43  $2 million, and they're like, doesn't do any of the things you say. (Inaudible) heartbreaking.Ashley Black 29:49  I know and to be honest with you I was more than willing to take that risk because I already had it in the marketplace. We didn't need like studies for FDA clearance. And so I knew something was happening, you know, but I did want to make sure that it was safe. And I did want to make sure that when I would say, you know, I have a theory that this happens or whatever I wanted to be able to validate that, you know, so I think that anybody who really truly has a scientific mind, that's what you do, you throw it up to the data and whatever, you know, the data says, you know? I think sometimes when people see my products, you know, the ads sometimes resonate with people and sometimes don't. And I love that you said, you do love to the (inaudible), but then when you saw that science, you were like, yeah, you know, we put it all out there. But at the end of the day, you, if you're going to spend a lot of money on advertising, you need to get a return. And sometimes the information that I would prefer to be talking about like its fascia inside the mitochondria, it's mitochondria matrix, I think it is, isn't the kind of thing that sells the product. So there's always a balance between, you know, having to run your business and still maintain that scientific integrity. Lesley Logan 31:10  You know, just like my daily life right now, because I'm a Pilates instructor who was lucky enough, like I say, I fell into it, like one of my teachers who I studied with for many many years still say what he's still with Joseph Pilates. So like, I mean, as far as like, all the marketing goes, like I'm a second generation teacher, which means nothing to regular people means a lot to teachers. Like, I you know, all these things, and all I want is help people get off the ground, get off the toilet, like feel super strong. I know the Pilates changes are competent, I know that it changes how your stress levels, I know all these things, right? And because I won't do befor- after photos on looks, and because I won't talk about weight loss because by the way, exercise is not what weight loss is, guys, it's just not it's your microbiome, it's probably your fascia. It's a lot of like hormone stuff, but like, because I don't do that we don't sell as fast and I I can't lie to people like you, you want to do your marketing to be honest and true and to be safe. So you did all these things. And it's really hard, because your stuff, what probably makes it sell the most is like the getting rid of cellulite and getting rid of wrinkles and like that's like superficial to why you started it for. Ashley Black 32:25  First of all, none of that is my passion at all. I was not in the beauty industry. I've always been in the fascia industry, you know, but let me say something when one of my clients who was the first, she got one of the first batches of Fasciablasters. I had not seen her in two months. And I knew what she looked like before she walked in and her legs looked incredible. And she was like, Ashley, it's your tool. And then I was like, let me start doing this. But I will tell you, you know, we do a lot of surveying of our customers, and only about 50% come in for beauty. And then it's a mixed bag from pain. And then now there's a big new group of people that are like wanting to release traumas and things like that. But when we, so we surveyed them, we know a lot about that customer journey, by the time that they're in, 90% are not in for beauty anymore. So I don't care if I have to, like take an umbrella and, you know, hook you in with something that resonates with wherever you are in that moment. No, once that they are in. I'm gonna have time, you know, to kind of let the story unfold. Lesley Logan 33:45  That's cool. That's cool. I think that that's, it's honest and true. And also, like, I love that people are having that transformation. Like they're coming in. Some, not even all of them, but some of them are coming in for this Sedex but then they're realizing it could be life changing. You know, what I also love about it, is the amount of time someone has to spend with themselves. I think that's really cool. I don't think enough people spend time with themselves touching themselves. Ashley Black 34:09  People never touch themselves. Lesley Logan 34:11  Touch themselves. I know. I know. I will. I'll just list a lot of fun jokes, guys. I wanted a hobby. And so I wanted to feel like I could be like sexier, I don't feel like a graceful, sexy person. And so I was like, I'm gonna take a pole class because those girls, they're like, they're sexy, right? Like they. So I took this pole class and she just okay, and just like feel yourself I'm like, okay, but like, what do you want me to do with my hair? Like how? Like, (inaudible) because I do spend (inaudible). I know. So I was just like, okay, all right, like people are walking by this like store. I'm doing pole and I'm like, I'm just gonna feel myself in front of everybody.Ashley Black 34:52  A little crotch grab.Lesley Logan 34:55  Just so funny because it's like, I just think we don't and so I really love is like your tools can really give them like, help them prioritize themselves and being in their body. And it's, I mean, that's why I teach Pilates. And that's why I do it. But like, it's just another way for people to have time with themselves. And we just, we spend so much time like taking stuff in.Ashley Black 35:19  The just beauty of, you know, us being a part of this whole incredible world like we have, in this route, we have a physical body, like, how cool is that we get a body, you know. So that's kind of the way I see it. I know, I'm over the top person in a kind of free sort of way. But, you know, if you, I'll tell you a quick story, but it's to just punctuate what we're talking about is that I did a wefunder campaign, I had never, I've never taken outside investment. And so we raised $3 million, we did it with our own audience. And oh, I just got like a chill. When you read the comments of the people who invested, these are not professional investors, there were women that were like, you know, I saw your Facebook ad and then you know, I started blasting for my cellulite. And then you know, that went away. But then I started realizing how good that I felt. And then I started, you know, jumping into your new year, new year program, then they came to a retreat, and they're like, you know, this changed my life. And like, I only have $1,000 in savings, but I want to put it towards this. You know, so that's what it's about, that. That's what it's about. It's about women. Not all, I mean, we have a large portion of men, and we're doing more male marketing, but primarily the business has been women and when they come together, and we have a huge I think we have about 500,000 in a private group, I manage that thing like mama hen, you know, (inaudible) come in there and say anything mean, and support each other. Sometimes these physical things like people getting a nose job or whatever, sometimes it just makes space for something else to come in. Lesley Logan 37:12  Yeah. Yeah, I think like we had Dr. Celeste Holbrook and, and she talked about, like, you know, when people are making changes to their body, it's often because it's like a harm reduction like they believe it's like going to reduce whatever harm they could see. And I also she's like, so I don't want to take that away from people, but also puts them on a journey towards, like, usually discovering a little bit more in themselves. And if they find it, I think it's so cool for them to tell some people in a Facebook group and a mix. (Inaudible) That's bigger than most cities, actually. But like that they could that they believe in your product so much that they still I mean, like, creating a product is one thing everyone like we have our flashcards and people are like, oh my God, that's such a cute idea. I'm like, it's cute. Yeah, to you're in Alaska, that's not nearly an investment you probably will make on your stuff, but like, my first investment and it was $15,000 to make these decks and I was like, do I do I need to have 100 somebody people buy these before I even get my money back. Do I know 105 people? Am I blowing up all of our savings right now? And so to have a group of people who believe in what your products are doing and the researcher doing all this stuff, you're doing so much that they want, they want it to continue on? That's just a testament to like the impact that your products have on their life. That's, that's more than aesthetics. People don't do that just because they got rid of cellulite.Ashley Black 38:33  I got a marriage proposal for getting rid of cellulite. (Inaudible) Yeah, I think a lot of it just has to do with like the support and the fact that like if you get this is what I always tell people it's not about because people say love your body the way it is. I want you to love your body the way that it is, but I also like if you had a rash I wouldn't be like love your rash. I would be like let's get rid of that rash. You know, cellulite is a physical presentation of bad fascia. You know, so for me, I feel like it's a moral duty to say hey, no, don't accept that, you know, and sometimes have terrible fascia below the surface and you don't see any cellulite at all. Just depends on whether it goes down into the muscles. So for me, it's about healthy fascia. You know, and if it (inaudible), you know, people should do love to do our heart but and all of that, like I great. It's just a confidence booster and they're, they feel empowered because it was them that made the decision to do it. It was them that took the time and energy to do it. And they feel great about it and they're getting healthy and having benefits way beyond their kind of wildest dreams. It really is a little bit like a wormhole when you actually understand how to restore your fascia and I'm not talking about stretching it from time to time or being a hydrated person or, you know, all the stuff that's floating out there on the internet. I'm literally saying that you need an effective fascial treatment. I don't know how effective other methods are because there is no ultrasounds to show me. You know, if somebody came to me, cupping regenerated tissue, and by the way I sell cups, I like it, it's part of the system. But by themselves, I don't think they can regenerate the tissue. I'm open to be wrong, you know, but what I know 100% Does the entire fascia system is my tool. So of course, I'm gonna recommend my tools. (Inaudible) every single person, man, woman child, or whatever you identify with should absolutely this is like water, vegetables, I always say brush your hair, brush your teeth, brush your fascia.Lesley Logan 40:54  I love that. Okay. Gosh, I just want to ask like, you obviously, like are so excited and so pumped for what you do. Are you excited about anything new coming up? Like what's in store for you? Or fasciablasting? Is there anything that's like on, up and coming that you just like, can't wait to like, work on? Ashley Black 41:12  Oh, gosh, yes, there is. So it's so interesting. And you can appreciate this being a business woman. You know, for me, it was all about launching it. And you know, making it this huge success. But sometimes you don't go well okay, then what? You know. And so for me, we just crossed the 170 million mark in terms of our lifetime revenue. And so I had that moment like so is do I sell or do I like raise money and push the gas pedal. So I have chosen to raise money and push the gas pedal because we are launching this incredible kind of an extension of what we're doing. So last year, we launched the Fascia Advancement Academy where we teach people, you should come. Lesley Logan 42:02  I want to. I'm like tell me more.Ashley Black 42:07  It's so perfect for you know, people that teach Pilates and some it's an add-on you can do but we teach professionals, anyone that wants to do it professionally. And there's levels in the Fascia Advancement Academy. And then the actual business model would be to partner with businesses, high-end spas, sports clinics, pre and post-operative care, to insert these people who have been to our academy and then set up those retail locations. So don't be surprised when you walk in the Fontainebleau or the Four Seasons, when you see the Ashley Black towerLesley Logan 42:46  There is a Fontainebleau here in Las Vegas, my friend I think you should (inaudible).Ashley Black 42:51  I mean, we actually just trained I think it was November like think like 27 therapists and estheticians because it's also facials. I think this is a way to really, really get it to the public. And instead of having to see another ad. You can experience blasting by a professional who's trained that understands it, and you can take the tools home and continue the treatment.Lesley Logan 43:19  Oh my God. So I know because I saw somebody like getting blast I was like, Brad, look at this. Do you think you could do this to me?Ashley Black 43:29  It's totally my fantasy. In fact, if I went and open that door right now, my therapist is here. So you know people say do you get blasted? I'm like, absolutely (inaudible). Therapists can reach places you can't reach they can, you know, leverage differently. And if you've had somebody who's been through the academy, then they really understand, you know, which tools are for which depths and it's a whole different level of understanding. So I think it's gonna be huge, you know, (inaudible) we get to this point and think it was already huge, but like, let's do it.Lesley Logan 44:09  Oh my God. Ashley, this is amazing. I could talk to you for hours but we're I just I'm really excited thank you for educating us on really what fascia is and also like helping us understand like it's totally in our power our superpowers to like take care of our own fascia and we should. We're goint to take a brief break and then find out how people can find you, follow you, get blasted, and your Be It Action Items. Lesley Logan 44:32  All right, Ashley, where do you like to hang out? What social media should they follow? And where can they get your tools?Ashley Black 44:40  I mean, the easiest thing to spell is Ashley Black. Exactly (inaudible) can be spelled and then that can get you to the website. And at the website, obviously, there are icons but my Instagram handle is Ashley Black Guru. On Facebook, The Ashley Black Experience. But I do encourage everybody, if you're fascinated with fascia I just took live for blogs that are what is fascia. And as I kept writing, then I was like, oh my gosh, I'm gonna have to have a fit. But it's free information. You just go to my site, hit blogs and jump in there.Lesley Logan 45:18  Oh my God, we'll add that to all the links for sure. Because I think, I know, our listeners are gonna nerd out.Ashley Black 45:24  We can definitely do some kind of special for your listener. Lesley Logan 45:29  Yes. I'm gonna want to do that. Ashley Black 45:31  We'll talk about that. Lesley Logan 45:32  Yeah, we're gonna talk about that. Oh, my gosh, we're so y'all don't be surprised OPC if we make something happen for the community. So okay, Ashley, you've given us so many things that we could like, obviously take care of ourselves right now. But what bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted steps people can take to be it till they see it? What are some action steps they can take?Ashley Black 45:54  Wow, it's so funny, because I didn't realize that Be It stood for anything until I got forms to fill out to be on the podcast. And I was like, oh my gosh, like this is everything I love. So I was just kind of thinking about what those words meant to me. And you know, bold, I think is that Someillan moment, just step in to your power, you have those little voices that come in from time to time and tell you who you are. Right? And once you know that, just unapologetically, without fear, step into that and just be it. You know, it's like the work of Joe Dispenza, where it's like, you know, if you were a millionaire, what would you do different, you would wear a different outfit, you would walk a little different way. Do that now. Do that now. So that's the bold. Intrinsic, I mean, I think at the end of the day, I believe this more than any plant on the planet, because of my near-death experience, like we are special, all of us are special. And we have something intrinsic to our nature and our authenticity. And if it's a gift that we have, and we don't share it, it's a wasted life, right? So I would definitely say, going on that self journey and creating this space to really discover who you are. I wrote a whole book about this actually, it's funny, it's called Be: From Passion and Purpose to Products and Prosperity. (inaudible) I kind of just did it on the side with two of my girlfriends. But, you know, we talk about like, how could you possibly discover who you are, if you're caught up in a bunch of bullshit all the time. And in the book, take people through activities, the first one is called delete. So that's gonna be my tip for your audiences go through literally for three days, write down every single thing that you do. And anything that does (inaudible) review, delete it, and just don't ever do it again. And you'll be surprised like, oh, I just got three extra hours in the day. So that's intrinsic. Lesley Logan 48:12  That's beautiful. Oh my God, that's beautiful. We're gonna put the book in the show notes too, with our readers. And I, I love that it's a similar title.Ashley Black 48:21  It's so funny. When I was writing it, I pictured it like, yeah, like, Family Feud. Lesley Logan 48:26  Yes, yes. I also thought you're gonna say like, delete the people in your life (inaudible).Ashley Black 48:32  That might be part of what was on that list? Right? Then I still want to go through these because I actually thought of it. Oh, executable. So when we think about the word execute, I think people take it from zero to 100. And they say, okay, you know, let me I use the word absolute (inaudible) it's not executable (inaudible). Zero to 100 in terms of execution, you know, it's like, should I take the $15,000 and go, you know, launch the business? Okay, well, that is execution. But it's also execution to say, you know what, tonight, I'm gonna go through my finances and just kind of see what I have. And it's also actionable to say, okay, do I have credit cards? Can you know, can we do this? It's also actionable and free to take a notepad out and start sketching out. You know, it's also to take the action, you know, to start to pick the colors, and you know, what is resonating with you and all that. So, it's not the action. It's the little actions, right? That's what I would say, whatever your major, major goal is. Just say look at it and go, oh, God, there's 2000 steps. Okay, we'll take the first three today or take (inaudible). Right? Because once you do it, and you can validate this because it happened to you. Once you do it, your confidence comes. (inaudible) Lesley Logan 50:00  Well also, it's like the moment of that, once you take the first step, because it's the hardest, or the first half a step, there is a little bit of push to pull that comes from you fall in your passion, it like pulls you, you know, so you don't have to keep finding the energy to take that next scary first step. They're like, things get put in place. And it's almost kind of a domino effect that makes it feel like it's too fast and too soon, but like, it does feel like there's a magnet (inaudible).Ashley Black 50:28  Actually we were talking about that the other day, it's like, when you have a business, you feel like you're pushing a wheelbarrow with, you know, rocks in it up a hill, but there is a tipping point. Then you're down the hill, and nothing's pulling you and your legs are flying. For me, I've done it so many times that I can almost sense when I'm at that, you know, tipping point. But you know, for the younger ladies out there are women who haven't done it yet. You know, it is there. It is, it's the laws of physics, you know, if we keep going, we're going to get to that place. Ashley Black 51:04  And then before I forget it, I think targeted goes back a little bit to what we were just talking about, it's like you have to, life is not linear, but it is entangled. And if what you say and think and take action on is not in alignment with whatever your target is, then you got to ask yourself that question. Like, am I moving backwards? Am I moving sideways? Is it out of here, and I'll give you just a perfect example, in my own life, because even in business, I get squirreled off, you know, somebody will tell me a great idea. And you know, I'll go focus on it, but then it's like, I'm off my target, even if it's the greatest thing in the world, you know, so I think what I would say first of all is find your target, find your Northstar, find the thing that truly, truly, truly makes you feel fulfilled. And then just make sure that everything that you're doing is on target literally, you know, getting wasted, and you get hung over for two days. That's what happens when you're my age. Isn't, doesn't move you in the direction of your target or, you know, having an old friendship that's become really stale and feels heavy when you are talking about but like that is the point where we can trim the fat you know, and make it a little bit easier to get to that target. Zig Ziglar said it's easier to get where you're going with a pack running with you than one wrapped around your neck.Lesley Logan 52:50  Yes. Oh my God. Ashley, this is so, you're so amazing. I love all of these. I I cannot wait. Brad's gonna listen to this and we're gonna choose our favorites but I don't know how to choose mine. I love them all. You guys, how are you gonna use these tips in your life? I want to make sure you tag Ashley Black, tag the Be It Pod, share this with a friend, share this with friends who need to hear it because it gets really easy to want people in our lives to grow as well but we hold all the growth to ourselves. So pass it along because maybe they need it for the fascia tips or maybe they need it for the inspiration of like sometimes it takes, it's an overnight success for 30 years.Ashley Black 53:31  Right. I'm exhausted from my overnight success.Lesley Logan 53:35  I just appreciate you being so honest, because I just it's so easy for people to think it happens overnight and must be nice. And you know what, guys, every single person out there you're looking up to I'm sure there's 20 years of like, or more of just them fighting uphill to make their magic happen and get their thing out into the world. And so thank you Ashley for being that example of what it can look like and for your amazing tools. I'm over here like nuggeting my (inaudible) I'm just like out here like tapping around. So thank you so much. We'll have all these links in the show notes. Make sure you tag with a friend, tag this, send it to a friend. And until next time, Be It Till You See It.Lesley Logan 54:20  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day.    Lesley Logan 54:47  Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @Be It Pod.  Brad Crowell 55:02  It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.  Lesley Logan 55:07  It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.Brad Crowell 55:12  Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist Gianfranco Cioffi.  Lesley Logan 55:19  Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.  Brad Crowell 55:22  Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time. Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/be-it-till-you-see-it/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

In today's recap episode, Lesley and Brad uncover Danny Brassell's innovative approaches to cultivating a love for reading. From understanding the unique reading levels of every individual to integrating reading into daily activities, discover how to transform reading from a chore into a cherished habit. Get ready to inspire a new generation of avid readers.If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co. And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.In this episode you will learn about:Why exposure to diverse materials enhances reading skills and fosters a lifelong love for books.How making reading fun can dramatically increase reading speed and comprehension.Recognize students' unique reading levels and interests for tailored learning experiences.A free formula to craft compelling, personalized speeches from Danny Brassell.Episode References/Links:OPC Summer CampMarch MadnessBarrels Deck FlashcardseLevate Round 4Cambodia Early BirdBounce Body Contrology Lesley Affiliate LinkChat with us  If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. DEALS! Check out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper's Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox Be in the know with all the workshops at OPCBe It Till You See It Podcast SurveyBe a part of Lesley's Pilates MentorshipFREE Ditching Busy Webinar  Resources:Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!Lesley Logan websiteBe It Till You See It PodcastOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley LoganOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTubeProfitable Pilates Follow Us on Social Media:InstagramFacebookLinkedIn  Episode Transcript:Brad Crowell 0:00  Making it fun I thought was interesting. He said, yeah, you know, I eavesdrop on my students. I was like, okay. He's like, yeah, if I hear him talking about cars, I introduce him to a book about cars. You know, if I hear him talking about whatever, sports, I introduce him to a book about sports. He's like, they're, they're only going to read the stuff they're interested in.Lesley Logan 0:16  Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.Lesley Logan 0:58  Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview recap where my co-host in life, Brad, and I are going to dig into the enriching convo I had with Danny Brassell in our last episode. If you haven't yet listened to that interview, feel free to pause us now. Go back and listen to that one and then come back and join us. He's so fun. Brad Crowell 1:13  I love this guy.Lesley Logan 1:13  He's so fired up. Brad Crowell 1:14  He's amazing. Lesley Logan 1:19  And also I was like, like timing would have it, we're talking about reading and we're talking about reading again in March, guys, because we have an amazing guest who is like, literally getting books into schools where they have lower income and less resources. So like, I'm all about reading right now. And I, you all should be, too. And then we just talked to Nick who's going to teach us how to read. We'll have him on the show. So you guys have been wanting to retain your reading skills and we are here to talk about reading.Lesley Logan 1:43  So, today is February 29th and it's a Leap Year Day.Brad Crowell 1:47  What?Lesley Logan 1:48  What? And you know what's so funny is I feel like I've, in my entire life, I've never remembered a Leap Year Day before and I've Brad Crowell 1:53  Not really paid attention. Lesley Logan 1:54  No, but I'm excited for this one. Brad Crowell 1:56  Oh, good. Lesley Logan 1:57  I don't know why. It's just nice to have a longer month. Brad Crowell 2:00  It's great. Lesley Logan 2:01  I need more time. Thank you, February, for time. Brad Crowell 2:03  More time. Lesley Logan 2:04  More time. Brad Crowell 2:04  Hell yeah. Lesley Logan 2:05  Thank you.Brad Crowell 2:06  Here is that extra day in the week. Lesley Logan 2:08  So let's talk about why this happens in case you haven't been in school for a really long time. Or, you know, you were self-leading yourself during school, we use leap years to keep our calendars in sync with the seasons, which I think is bullshit because the seasons are no longer lining up with (inaudible). Brad Crowell 2:24  No, the seasons have changed. Lesley Logan 2:25  The seasons have changed. In case you noticed. Okay, our common calendar is actually 1/4 of a day short of a full orbit. Over time that would throw everything off, so that's why we add an extra day into the shortest month of the year, February, every four years. Keeps us on track. You want to know why I fucking know? Brad Crowell 2:44  Tell me.Lesley Logan 2:44  Why is February so fucking short? Brad Crowell 2:46  Yeah. What's up with that voice?Lesley Logan 2:47  Who decided why some months are 30 days and some months are 31 days and only one month is 28 days? (Inaudible) Why didn't we make several months only 30 so February could be 30? Brad Crowell 2:58  I mean, then you wouldn't have that really cool song, 30 days in September...Lesley Logan 3:03  Do you, did you learn like you do the knuckles? (Inaudible) Brad Crowell 3:06  I learned them all and I've never retained any of it. Lesley Logan 3:10  September? No, that's wrong. How? Would you start on the thumb? Or do you start on the first finger? Brad Crowell 3:17  I don't have an answer. I don't know the, I don't know the answer. I literally look it up every single time. Lesley Logan 3:21  Well, I also have to say I before E except after C. So there's just some things that never stuck. Brad Crowell 3:26  No, that one, I before E except afterLesley Logan 3:28  But I have to say it after every time I write the word so it's not sticking. I have to say the mantra. It's not, the word didn't stick. Brad Crowell 3:36  That's fine.Lesley Logan 3:36  Okay. So for those who were born today, Brad wrote this. Brad Crowell 3:40  Sucks to be you. Slash.Lesley Logan 3:42  But you actually get to pick February 28th or March 1st on your non-birth date years. As if you didn't know, you could pick your own fucking birth date. Happy birthday to you. Brad Crowell 3:52  Well, they don't get one. There's no Feb 29. So, what are you gonna do? Brad Crowell 3:53  I, the same thing people on April 15th do, pick a fucking different day. Tax Day. No one likes April 15th. No one does. They pick.Brad Crowell 3:57  So people change their birthday? Lesley Logan 3:59  They just do a different day. Brad Crowell 4:02  Never heard of this. Lesley Logan 4:03  You know, you can do a different day no matter when your birth date was. Brad Crowell 4:12  Yeah, mine is December 33rd. Brad Crowell 4:29  Yeah, go to OPC.me/workshops.Lesley Logan 4:15  No, no. You have to pick an actual date of the year. At any rate, here we go. OPC Summer Camp. We are doing that in June. More information to follow but if you are on the waitlist, you'll find all information first and probably get some bulk extra bonuses and goodies and discounts. Lesley Logan 4:32  OPC.me/workshops. OPC March Matness, because March Matness starts tomorrow. Brad Crowell 4:38  Mañana. Lesley Logan 4:39  And so you can get free mat classes with me. Brad Crowell 4:42  It was supposed to start today but we just decided to add an extra day in this year, so. Lesley Logan 4:46  Yeah, we decided. We decided. The world does revolve around the we in this room. So March Matness starts on March 1st, I think, so go to OPC.me/challenge and you will see the first class it's up there. And if you're listening to this randomly on a different day, you can still do that and you can still sign up and you can start the challenge whenever you want to. Brad Crowell 5:08  Yes, you can. Lesley Logan 5:09  That's how we do things around here. Brad Crowell 5:10  Yes, you can. Lesley Logan 5:11  Be it till you see it. So, alsoBrad Crowell 5:14  OPC.me/challengeLesley Logan 5:14  Also an OPC situation we are still working on those Barrels Flashcards, they are still TBD on when their presale is but if you are on the waitlist for that you are going to get to know when those discounts are. And if you're noticing a theme with the waitlist, it's because we reward people on waitlist, so we don't have to promote stuff publicly. Brad Crowell 5:33  Do you know what the waitlist is? Anybody? Anybody? Anybody? OPC.me/flashcardwaitlist. That's right. That's the one. You got this. Lesley Logan 5:41  You have to figure this out, guys. So anyways, you want to go there to get on it if you are wanting to nerd out about the Barrels Deck and get the best price ever because we will not promote it on social media. We don't promote it on any other newsletter list. It's only gonna be on this one. Brad Crowell 5:55  Yeah, the presale is only going to waitlisters.Lesley Logan 5:57  Also, we value your time and your inbox. Okay. eLevate round four is really kicked off. Amazing, amazing group, you are missing out 1,000%. So if you want to hear about eLevate five or six or any of those other ones, you want to go to our waitlist for that. You can start, you can go to the site now and you can actually check out what it's all about and get on a call and see if it's right for you that we can make sure you save up your money and you schedule the time to really, just a wonderful program that I absolutely love doing. I had the best time and for those who were like, I don't want to do virtual, you can fly to Vegas for the in-person (inaudible) you can do that. Brad Crowell 6:30  Yeah, come hang out. Brad Crowell 6:30  Changed it up. Lesley Logan 6:32  And lastly, Brad, take us home. Lesley Logan 6:30  You don't have to but you can. So it's super fun. Leslielogan.co/elevate. Yeah, you thought you knew what it was didn't you? Thought you did? But you don't. Lesley Logan 6:37  you knew what it was? Didn't you? Thought you did? But you don't change it up. And lastly, Brad, hey, get home,Brad Crowell 6:44  We are going to Cambodia. Actually, we're really proud of this trip that we've created over the years. Obviously, we've talked about this before. But I'm just really fired up that this trip this upcoming year is going to be some new stuff added in. Plus, we're almost sold out. And, we almost sold out because of the waitlist and I'm just really fired up about that we have a great crew, it is going to be a heck of a trip. Lesley Logan 7:11  I know, Brad's talking to all of them on the phone already. (Inaudible) met several of you on the tour. So we're gonna have a blast. Brad Crowell 7:19  Yeah, it's gonna be, it's gonna be amazing. So we're really, really fired up about that. And there are still just a few spots left. So if you're interested in that. Lesley Logan 7:28  Literally just a few, like, no, you can't even count them all in one hand. Lesley Logan 7:31  OctoberBrad Crowell 7:31  October 6th to 11th, this year, and you can go to crowsnestretreats.com. Lesley Logan 7:38  Yeah. All right. Before we talk about Danny, what's our audience question? Brad Crowell 7:43  All right, Maria, from Instagram, thank you for this question. She said, Lesley, where do I get a spine corrector like yours? Lesley Logan 7:50  I know, because it's hot. It's so Barbie. So I've, I've had this hot pink on my window chair forever. And it became available. And my person and Contrology was like, hey, you got this hot pink and you can get on that spine card when it comes out. And she like was holding my invites ready to go. So I was one of the first spine correctors to ever get from the Contrology line. Brad Crowell 8:18  Lucky you. Lesley Logan 8:19  Also have a demo center guy. So okay, don't get, don't be jealous. But, what does that mean? It means any of the equipment that you see I have, you can actually get one like it, you can get whatever color you want. And we have discount links. So if you've never purchased from Balanced Body or Contrology, or it's been several years, you can use the link. You can also, if you need to do a special order where you want a different color like a hot pink like mine, then you can talk to my salesperson. So what you need to do is just Brad Crowell 8:46  Chat to us. Lesley Logan 8:47  Yeah, opc.me/chat. If you say I want this piece of equipment, my team can just give you the direct link with a discount on there. But if you are going to want to chat with a salesperson (inaudible) special, then just let my team know like I'm gonna want to do a special order and they'll make sure you have my salesperson's, I'm not shouting her email on here for y'all to like, bombard her. But she's amazing. And she is the only person who can give you my discount link. Technically, if you can't do it on the site. You can't get it but it's me. And I got hooked up. It's me. I don't know why thatBrad Crowell 9:22  Cause it's pink...Lesley Logan 9:23  Yes. Yes. It's a Lizzo song. Yeah. Yeah. It's so fun. If you haven't seen it, go to my Instagram account. I gave it its own real and it's just she's beautiful. And I love her. So you should get one too and then you should get ready for the Barrels Cards because I will teach you how to do all the different things you can on it. Brad Crowell 9:45  All the things. Lesley Logan 9:46  I have warmed up on it for my workouts every single day since it arrived. So I am obsessed.Brad Crowell 9:51  I love it. All right, now let's talk about Danny Brassell. Renowned as the “Jim Carrey with a Ph.D.”, prolific speaker and author of 16 books including 'Leadership Begins with Motivation,' Danny shared his insights on the importance of reading, and how he applies these principles to improving communication skills for entrepreneurs and executives. But mostly, y'all, talked about kids. Lesley Logan 10:16  We talked about so many kids. Brad Crowell 10:17  This guy is astounding to me. Lesley Logan 10:20  I know. Brad Crowell 10:21  Yeah. You know, he does 100 speaking engagements a year? Lesley Logan 10:24  I know. Brad Crowell 10:24  That's, that's incredible.Lesley Logan 10:26  It's insane. Brad Crowell 10:27  That's two a week. Lesley Logan 10:28  Yeah. And then when we're done, he's like, how can I help you? And I'm like, I mean, I think that how can I help you like you're doing the world like the Lord's work right now.Brad Crowell 10:37  He has four major projects and one of them is like, helping kids with Lesley Logan 10:42  We should connect him with Rodney, not Rondney, Rodman. Brad Crowell 10:45  Rodman. Lesley Logan 10:46  I think they live close to each other. Brad Crowell 10:47  Jake. All of them. I mean, yeah, I was just super impressed by him, trying to help change literacy. Lesley Logan 10:57  Oh, yeah. So he said, people who read more, read better. And his job is to really expose his students to all kinds of ways to love reading. He likes to teach kids why to read and he wants kids to want reading and to choose it on their own. And I think that's like, really especiallyBrad Crowell 11:13  That was the thing that I was like, oh, my God, this is the fucking most obvious thing ever. That he's like, yeah, you know, they go to elementary school and they learn how, he's like, but they don't want to do it. So (inaudible) how do you get them to want to do it? I was like, oh, that's duh. He's like, yeah, so I teach kids what to read. I was like, wow. Okay.Lesley Logan 11:35  Yeah. And he believes like one of the most important things is we have to learn how to make reading fun for you. And I did this earlier this year. I read the best book. And it was so fun. I read it in three days. Brad Crowell 11:46  Yeah, you slayed that book.Lesley Logan 11:47  I know I need to get a library card. Not waiting on that so far. But I slayed that book. Because I like, I made it fun. I like, played some music, I sat in my reading chair, you know all the things. And it really, it really, what I realized is that I read really fast because like I can read really fast because I've read so thank goodness for being a child who read, but like, I love this because I know that the person I am today is because of the books that I read. And I read books because my mom made sure I read books as a kid like she was so we would (inaudible) the library every week. And we could check out however many the max number of books was, and we went every week. Why? Because the library is free guys. Free. (inaudible)Brad Crowell 12:30  We did exactly the same, you know, and we had books that we would read as a family, we'd have books that we'd read on our own. And what I thought was really interesting, he said, hey, listen, you know, the I'm sure you all have heard this, the statistics, but you can change your kids' grades from an F to a C, if they read nine minutes a day. And he said, from a C to an A is not like 47 hours a day. No, they they literally they read 20 minutes a day, 20 minutes a day. Lesley Logan 13:03  And he also said you don't have to do it all at once. (inaudible) Brad Crowell 13:04  Those are the kids that are getting grades. Not only you see, you don't have to do it all at once. He said it doesn't matter who's doing the reading. The parent can read out loud and that counts for the kids. I was like, that's cool. So yeah, I mean, making it fun, I thought was interesting. He said, yeah, you know, I used to eavesdrop on my students. I was like, okay, he's like, yeah, if I hear them talking about cars, I introduced them to a book about cars. You know, if I hear them talking about whatever sports, I introduce them to a book about sports. He's like, they're only going to read the stuff they're interested in. So if you can get them into, you know, like, understand what they're interested in. You can give them material. He said, there are 4 million books written a year in the United States. I didn't know that. That's just astounding.Lesley Logan 13:45  You know what's so funny? Is that like Brad will say he never reads, okay, he says he'll never read. Okay, so we're sitting in Austin at a random restaurant and he overhears something. And he was like, oh, you read that? So, have you heard of this series? Oh, and then Brad shares some of this whole series I've never even heard him fucking talk about. Then he talks about a different series and a different series. So the truth is, Brad reads a specific genre of book and this guy was like, so excited and this guy's sharing Brad with all these different books in that same genre. And so what it is, is that Brad doesn't just read books outside of that genre, and that's okay. Brad Crowell 14:20  No, I don't actually pick them up and read them. I listen to audio. Lesley Logan 14:23  Well, guess what? Danny said you could do that, too. Brad Crowell 14:25  Yes, he did. Yeah, I got excited about that. That was really helpful. Lesley Logan 14:29  Yeah. So anyways, I'm in. I just think it's really, really great. And if you missed it, if your kid's grades suck, get them to read a book they're interested in and make it fun. You know how my parents made it fun? We can have a gummy worm for every chapter of a book we read. And obviously there's gonna be like two-page chapters that were like, you know, full on like The Baby-Sitters Club, you know, Nancy Drew, Beverly Cleary. So like, but, we can have a gummy worm and so I would just read a whole book and I got 13 because you don't want just one. I had 13. Brad Crowell 15:07  Mom, there 13 chapters in this book, I put a photo at the corner of every single one just to show you so I can prove that I get 13. Lesley Logan 15:15  No, I didn't have to do that. But I, she just trust me. But I also like, because no one wants one gummy worm.Brad Crowell 15:20  No one wants that.Lesley Logan 15:21  You want, you want all of them. Brad Crowell 15:22  You can't just, not just one.Lesley Logan 15:25  What did you love?Brad Crowell 15:27  He shared the problem that he saw in most educational systems that we think that every kid is at the same level and he said there actually are different levels of reading and they have different interests. He's, this is a really cool story, because he talked about a high school kid who is like, clearly the football player who is a stereotype. amazing athlete, not a great student, right? Well, maybe he's a great student, but not a great reader. Right? So he's in 12th grade, but he's literally reading at a first grade level. Right? And he said, he said, the problem is that when you are in 12th grade, the first grade level books are like basically picture books with like four words in them. And he said, that's embarrassing as hell for a 12th grader to be carrying on school. So how did he, how do you get around that? He said, all right, we're gonna write a book for first graders. And the guy was like, okay, sure. He's like, but do you know anything about books that first graders would read? And he's like, No, he's like, all right, well, looks like we have to go read some first grade books. In order for us to write a book for first graders. And he's like, do you see what I did there? I was like, yeah, of course. I mean, that's, that's like, that's like, such a great excuse for this senior to be carrying around a bunch of kids' books so that when he's teased about it, because he will be, because kids are dicks, he would be able to say, listen, I'm doing homework for me to write a book.Lesley Logan 17:01  I want.Brad Crowell 17:02  I'm so inspired. Lesley Logan 17:03  I want to I want to shoot this (inaudible).Brad Crowell 17:06  Obviously a dick. Lesley Logan 17:07  Kids are dicks.Brad Crowell 17:08  Kids are dicks. Lesley Logan 17:09  When you listen to a podcast and they're kind of like dual income, one kid. It's like a dink or a dank or something like that. And then she's like, yeah, like, we used to be a duldo which is like dual income, like, one dog only or something like that likeBrad Crowell 17:29  DINK, dual income no kids. Lesley Logan 17:32  No kids. Brad Crowell 17:33  Yeah. Dual income, let's see, I don't know, one kid, DISK, dual income single kid. That's a DISK. SISK, single income single kid.Lesley Logan 17:46  Yeah. And then there's like also like dual income like dog only. So that's a DILDO. And I don't know why they came to me when you were just saying that. Anyways, you guys, that's a plug for another podcast (inaudible). Brad Crowell 18:05  I can't even come up with that on Google search without coming up with a bunch of garbage. (Inaudible)Brad Crowell 18:16  Oh, here we go. Here it is. Here it is. We're no longer DISKs. We're DILDOs, dual income little dog owners. Lesley Logan 18:22  Little dog owners.Brad Crowell 18:26  Oh my gosh. Lesley Logan 18:27  I love it so much (inaudible). Anyways, but I think it's, I also just think likeBrad Crowell 18:33  We're DILBOs.Lesley Logan 18:37  Large dogs only?Brad Crowell 18:39  Big dogs. Big dog owners. Lesley Logan 18:41  Yeah. Large dog owners. Brad Crowell 18:44  DILBOs. Lesley Logan 18:44  Yeah, no, you just said large dogs. Brad Crowell 18:46  Oh, we could be large dog owners. Lesley Logan 18:48  It's the same acronym. (Inaudible). If you read more, Brad, I'm just kidding.Brad Crowell 18:54  Get that up to an A? Lesley Logan 18:55  Yeah, so anyways, I but I do think that's really cool. I think it is interesting. I remember like, when I was in junior high, we took that reading test and one of my friends was like, a college reading level and I was only a junior, like a junior in high school reading level. I'm in the seventh grade. And I just remember going they're so much more than me like they're higher than me. I didn't as a perfectionist. I wasn't thinking about the kids who like got hit with you're-lower-than-your-grade-level. Like how, how depressing is that? And I wonder if the teachers had a like a way around that other than what we have to do take like the grocery store paper bags to cover our books in?Brad Crowell 19:37  Yeah, well, I mean, you know his conclusion at that whole thing was that you know, teachers, good teachers will basically help you progress to the next level. Lesley Logan 19:46  Yeah, pay your teachers more.Brad Crowell 19:47  All right. So let's talk about those Be It Action Items. What bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted action items can we take away from your convo with Danny Brassell? Honestly, I thought this was so genius and you were laughing at the end of it because for the first time ever, we got an action item that said, go watch television. Lesley Logan 20:09  I know. We've never had that before.Brad Crowell 20:12  I was like, really? And he's like, yeah, you want to know why the highest reading averages are in the country of Finland? Like yeah, I want to know why he said because they watch the most TV. I was like, okay, and he said, and they have closed captioning turned on. So they're reading the entire time they're watching television. I thought that is so fascinating. So go watch television with the captions on, right? And I thought something else like just to throw this in there too. Y'all talked about habit building and tie, tying it to like something that's emotionally, tying it to something emotional that you already enjoy is going to help you and he said yeah, you know, for me, I actually don't get out and do enough movement. I don't walk enough I don't have enough exercise. So I started walk I started I made myself I only gave myself permission to watch my show when I'm on my treadmill. Right? And I thought that's pretty cool. So what if you're on a treadmill while watching your favorite show with the captions on? Way to go.Lesley Logan 21:21  And if your dog isn't my own you probably can do that without barking. (Inaudible)Brad Crowell 21:29  Yeah, well, aside from the treadmill. What's your biggest takeaway from his Be It Action Items? Lesley Logan 21:34  Okay, this is really cool. So those of you who are (inaudible) wow, he's a hundred speeches a year. Oh my God. He actually shared how to create a formula for your speeches. This, you guys Brad Crowell 21:45  Totally dug this. Totally dug this. Lesley Logan 21:48  Yeah, get a pen and paper out right now because that's step one. And also (inaudible) that's strep one. You don't want strep oneBrad Crowell 21:55  That's the D in delta one.Lesley Logan 21:59  You, so step one, is that but also go get one because this is freaking gold. I think we paid our coaches about $15,000 for this information and he gave it to you all for free. So here it is. He said get a pen and paper. Write down every life story that's ever happened to you. Not the whole story just like the triggers like he said the example the time I locked myself out of the car in front of Costco or the time dad spilled mustard on his tie at that fancy restaurant. Like, if you are unsure how to do this, you guys, another way to do it is like go through your photos the other day, babe, I came across our first Valentine's Day. Brad Crowell 22:33  That's a genius idea going through photos. Lesley Logan 22:35  And like, I went through the photos and I was like, where are we? And I was like, oh my God, we were on this hike that has like all this graffiti, it's like this crazy place. And then I, I actually because of that I wrote an email today that's going out on Valentine's Day. Brad Crowell 22:47  About Nazis?Lesley Logan 22:52  No. So I hate to tell them about the Nazi part. It was a Nazi sympathizer campground. Brad Crowell 22:58  Yeah, in the 50's, in the hills of Los Angeles. Lesley Logan 23:01  And it's and by the hills I mean, like the valley theBrad Crowell 23:05  Yeah. Like, buried away from civilization. Lesley Logan 23:08  Really, really cool hike and people take spray paint and they spray paint over each other. And it's like, they've like just they graffiti this campground. And because it's like art, and it's really cool to do that. And anyways, that's but beside the point, I came across that I had to write an email for Valentine's. I'm like what the fuck am I gonna write for Valentine's Day? But I remember this. And so I told that entire story about how on that day on our first Valentine's Day, it was a really hike. And then you decided to cook two special recipes. And the first one was amazing. And the second one isBrad Crowell 23:38  Yes, stuffed, shrimp-stuffed avocado. I remember this.Lesley Logan 23:40  Yes. Yes. You put it back in the cup and microwaves the whole thing. It was like really beautiful. And then he made this shrimp avocado salad. You've seen the theme, but he misread the cayenne pepper amount. And so I shared how we ended up at Whole Foods and prepared food. And then I led that into coming on a retreat. And don't worry, Brad's not cooking we haven't (inaudible). But the point is, is that if you go through your life source and you write them down, just the triggers these little, little captions, like you said, that after an hour, just like an hour, like if you even just like went through your photos, you'd have three to 400 stories with these things. Because like, shit happens to you every day. You guys, the amount of shit we go through every day. Like I just like sometimes, like if someone followed me around, they would never believe what I go through. So then you can associate step two. What's the teaching point? What's the learning lesson from the story? Brad Crowell 24:35  What's the high level theme? Is it loyalty? Is it friendship? Is it kindness? Is it happenstances and whatever it might be? Leadership, responsibility.Lesley Logan 24:47  And then you put them in folders in your computer based on the teaching point. And the next time you're asked to speak anywhere you have, oh, do you want to talk about leadership? I'm gonna tell you this, I'm gonna tell you this and you'll have a story to tell. Brad Crowell 24:58  It's genius. Lesley Logan 24:59  It's so genius. Brad Crowell 25:00  It is so genius especially because you know, you and possibly even me are about to embark on this podcast toward journey where we're trying to get booked on these other pods to start sharing more about, Be It Till You See It sharing more about some of the other things that we're working on in our lives. And, you know, the reality is they're always prompting you well, what are you going to talk about? And you're like, I don't know, I'm gonna talk about some things but, it's gonna be good conversation. Just book me. Lesley Logan 25:27  Don't worry. I was homeless three times (inaudible).Brad Crowell 25:31  So, you know, having this like, out of your, in your bag of tricks is it's crazy. It's amazing. Lesley Logan 25:36  It's brilliant. It's amazing. And also like for those who think I have nothing to talk about. Lesley Logan 25:43  Yeah. Bullshit. Lesley Logan 25:44  You have so much. (Inaudible)Brad Crowell 25:46  Yeah, we call it DILDO. Lesley Logan 25:47  I'm sure Danny doesn't call it bullshit. I've got (inaudible). Anyways, I'm Lesley Logan.Brad Crowell 25:54  And I'm Brad Crowell.Lesley Logan 25:55  How are you going to use these tips? You got to do it. Danny is amazing. I really want to introduce him to Rodman so we just need to make that happen. Brad Crowell 26:02  Yeah, we're gonna do it.Lesley Logan 26:03  And we are so freaking grateful for you. So make sure you share the Pod because especially this one, a lot of parents can hear it and help their kiddos go from a C to F to a C and a C to an A and read more and have a lot of fun. And tag us on the Gram, send your questions in and until next time, Be It Till You See It.Brad Crowell 26:25  Bye for now. Lesley Logan 26:27  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day.   Lesley Logan 26:54  Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @Be It Pod. Brad Crowell 27:09  It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell. Lesley Logan 27:14  It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co. Brad Crowell 27:19  Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist Gianfranco Cioffi. Lesley Logan 27:26  Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals. Brad Crowell 27:29  Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time. Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/be-it-till-you-see-it/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Chelsea Peitz, a former real estate professional, shares her journey with Lesley to becoming a social media and marketing expert. She discusses the importance of aligning your online persona with your real-life self, focusing on heart and humanity over hacks and hustles. Chelsea opens up about her challenges with OCD and how it shaped her unique approach. Learn valuable insights on genuine content creation and building online connectionsIf you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co. And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.In this episode you will learn about:How to merge your real-life persona with your online presence for authentic content creation.How Chelsea transformed her neurodivergence from a challenge into a unique strength in her career.The power of forming deep, genuine connections through social media platforms.Strategies to overcome common fears and insecurities associated with creating online content.How meaningful conversations, not just content, can significantly enhance your social media impact.Episode References/Links:Chelsea Peitz InstagramChelsea Peitz WebsiteGuest Bio:Chelsea is an esteemed keynote speaker and content coach who leverages the power of human-centered marketing in today's tech-focused world. Drawing from her wealth of knowledge and industry expertise, Chelsea delivers innovative techniques and essential guidance that challenge traditional approaches to social media marketing and social selling. Her presentations inspire audiences to cultivate meaningful relationships, highlighting the profound impact they can have on professional success. Chelsea's impact is felt not only in the real estate industry but also across other sectors, as she coaches and educates tens of thousands of agents and loan officers each year. Professional associations, Fortune 250 corporations, and industry conferences all recognize the immense value she brings. The caliber of Chelsea's work has led to her being sought after by the biggest names in real estate. Multiple times, she has been invited to address their employees and teams, sharing her invaluable insights on personal branding, video optimization, and social media strategies.  If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. DEALS! Check out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper's Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox Be in the know with all the workshops at OPCBe It Till You See It Podcast SurveyBe a part of Lesley's Pilates MentorshipFREE Ditching Busy Webinar  Resources:Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!Lesley Logan websiteBe It Till You See It PodcastOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley LoganOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTubeProfitable Pilates Follow Us on Social Media:InstagramFacebookLinkedIn  Episode Transcript:Chelsea Peitz 0:00  You know, in my opinion, the only original content is three things: the person which is your face and voice; the personality which is the, you know, things that make you you, your flavor, your personal brand, the things that you like; and then last but probably most importantly is your perspective, the point of view, the lived experiences, and that's the part that gets really scary to share.Lesley Logan 0:22  Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.  Lesley Logan 1:04  All right, Be It Babe. Okay, this is really going to be a lot of fun. First of all, our guess today is just an epic human being you're going to love getting to know her story, you're also going to immediately start following her. And you're going to just love watching her stories and her life. She's just a colorful human being that just brings like joy to your face. Her name is Chelsea Peitz. And she has a really nonlinear amazing story of what got her to where she is now that you will, when you look her up, you'll see that she does incredible social media content, education and coaching, but in a way that is different than any social media content creating coach I've ever watched. It is so approachable. And I promise you this interview is not about social media, because I know not everyone. I know you're like social media. Look, you I really want you to listen to her journey. Because there are ups and downs. There are these amazing highs. We're like, oh my God, she's made it and then really an equal opposite lows. And I think it's so important that you hear a woman's story about that because it's what you know that when those things have happened to you, or when they happen to you, or if they happen to you and it doesn't reflect poorly on you and those actually can be a launchpad. So I want you to listen to her story at the beginning. And then for those of you who do want to hear how to like not hate your social media so much, there's some really great tips. So, here's Chelsea Peitz, enjoy this conversation and thank you for being a listener of the Be It Pod. I truly appreciate you we could not do this without you. Like seriously, the podcast wouldn't exist if they're like no one's listening. So thank you. Thank you for sharing this to your friend. Thank you for listening. And here is Chelsea Peitz. Lesley Logan 2:37  All right, Be It babe. This is gonna be fun because, one, I am very good friends with this guest I'm so happy that she is in my life. So forgive us if we just go off on some tangents I think you'll actually enjoy because you'll feel like you're like in the room with having a conversation with a great friend. Chelsea Peitz is our guest today Chelsea, will you tell everyone who you are, and what you rock at. Chelsea Peitz 2:55  I know, our faces, like you should see them right now because we are so excited to see each other. I'm so happy to be here. Thank you for the invitation. I am Chelsea Peitz and I am a former real estate agent who became a real estate, keynote speaker, author, educator all focused on social media and marketing with heart and humanity not hustler hacks, and how to align the online you with the incredible human you are offline, which is extremely vulnerable, especially when we're creating content about ourselves and putting it on display for the world. So I'm excited to be here today. Thanks for the invitation.Lesley Logan 3:32  Oh my gosh, yeah, and it's true. Before I hit record, we already planned our next time we're seeing each other in person. So we got those important things out of the way. Okay, so I have a few questions. One, what you do, what you what you're known for, that's a lot already, like real estate. Being into real estate, that's actually really hard to get really good at that than to be a keynote speaker, and then to also transition that into using helping people with their social media to do those things that you did. Part of me is like, did you ever like we ever like am I sure I'm doing this? Is this the right thing to do? Did you ever feel like, like you're just running to the wall to see what sticks or like did it feel like a natural progression?Chelsea Peitz 4:08  Ah, yeah, all of that it was a hot mess dumpster fire. There was no and no idea in my mind ever, that I would be doing what I'm doing today. I had no idea until it really found me that teaching was my passion. And sort of the vulnerability was my uniqueness. And it really started when I was a child. I did not know at the time, I didn't know until I was in my 40s and officially, "diagnosed" that I grew up with a different kind of brain. You might call it neurodivergent. I have obsessive-compulsive disorder. And that was not something that in the 80s at least in my home, was really ever addressed or talked about. So for many, many, many years. I thought there was something wrong with me that it was a negative that it was going to hold me back for my entire life and I had some difficulties sort of processing and learning. And what I realized is that truly became one of my superpowers because I had no idea that because I needed to break things down complex topics in a very specific way, that might have taken me four times longer than anyone else that people might have looked over and thought, what are you doing? What's, what is happening over there? Drawing these things and pulling things apart, because that's how I could process them and understand them. And so I didn't know that that will be helpful to other people, I thought, well, this is the way that I've done it. And it's kind of a strange process, maybe to other people, because it's not linear. And it's kind of all over the place. And I wish I could kind of put it down on paper, but it's just how my, my process works. So what really kind of, I thought was going to be a negative, absolutely kind of turned into a positive for me. And I had no idea that that was going to help so many other people sort of see how that we could take this big complex idea of content creation and copywriting and social media and branding, which like what even is all that and be able to sort of systematize it and also humanize it, too. Lesley Logan 6:19  Yeah. I love that you brought that up. Because I do I think so many people would think, like, they would whisper like, oh, I have OCD or like, you know, it's like this thing that they don't want anyone to know about. But more and more, I've interviewed some people that like one of my guests was Daniella Mestyanek Young and she's like, my neurodivergence, my autism is the reason why you couldn't put me in the cult. She was born into a cult, she joined the military, which was she felt was another cult, and she's like, the reason because my brain works like this, it actually is my superpower. And I think the more people like you, you know, share that, the more we can maybe stop thinking of these things like dyslexia, or a different way of learning as things that are holding you back. And in fact, it's a superpower. And it's probably what's going to help you help so many others. So I think that's really cool. Lesley Logan 7:08  With real estate, and then going into speaking, I guess, like, what was the draw there? Because I'm sure you were probably like, my friends are in real estate, like they just do that, like that's their thing and they do it really, really well. Was there something calling to you? Were you just being pulled? Or did someone asked you to?Chelsea Peitz 7:26  Yeah, my story, even into real estate is is kind of an interesting one that I never planned to go into that. I, actually, out of college was working at a local gym and I was a personal trainer. And it just so happened that I ended up sort of being mentored by the owner of this, this facility, and learning sort of the behind-the-scenes of the business and how to expand it. And if you wanted to have multiple locations, and I think I probably had to be, you know, 19 or 20. So I was pretty young and learning all of that. And I ended up going to take on another position that this particular mentor who owned this company had gotten for me, and I ended up meeting my now husband, we've been married almost 20 years. So, 22 years ago and I got a phone call one day and he said, hey, you know what, I have this project I think you'd be perfect for would you be willing to move to another state? And I'm like, of course that sounds exciting, like a big girl job and like running things. And we were taking companies that were going bankrupt and turning them into profitable fitness projects and expanding them. So, you know, they said, well, hey, do you do you have any great people that you can bring along? I'm like, Well, I know this guy who's great at sales, who now is my husband. And I brought a few other people and we went up there we moved out of state to Oregon. And one day, I noticed something was off in the accounting because I was doing the accounting it turns out my mentor who brought us all up there, had embezzled all of the company money, including all of our salaries for the entire year, all of our house payments for the entire year. And I just remember, we opened up our front door and I literally sold everything because I didn't know anyone we didn't have any money. I felt terrible that I had brought these people from another state. And so when we drove home in my Geo Prizm, my Geo Prizm and a 22-hour drive, and I sold everything like I remember I sold my KitchenAid mixer for 50 bucks. That was like the most expensive thing I owned at the time. Lesley Logan 9:36  And people are like listening to your story and they're like looking at their KitchenAid going, oh my God, you slept for $50.Chelsea Peitz 9:42  I know. I know. And so we drove back to Arizona and I moved in with my mother-in-law. And we lived in this little house together. And I got my real estate license. I never intended on using it. I thought oh my gosh, what am I going to do? This is such a niche industry that I've been in and what do I do now? So I sort of fell into real estate. And that's, that's how I got into it. And I did it for, you know, as I was 10 years as a full-time realtor, I was licensed for 18. And I've been in that industry overall for 24 years. So I did not intend to ever get into real estate or speaking, or writing, or any of that it just sort of evolved. Lesley Logan 10:23  You know, thank you for sharing that because I think sometimes people are like, in a position in a different place and where they want to be, and they're like, they're, you know, feeling like they should be further along, or they're feeling like, you know, this is like, what this is, my resume doesn't make sense. And really, like, I've just figured out like, no, I don't think anyone's resume makes sense. I think everyone makes it makes sense. But it's a really long time to be in something that you probably that you fell into. Were you were you scared to start speaking or get. And then like, how did that lead into the social media thing? Because I feel like maybe things were overlapping at this point. Chelsea Peitz 11:04  Yeah, so I ended up in 2008, if anybody listening remembers those years, it was an interesting economic, economic situation happening here. And I just remember, I'm a high empath, very sensitive, I actually was gonna become a therapist before I, you know, actually went into all the things that I did. So I kind of jokingly call myself a social media therapist, but I'm highly empathetic, highly sensitive, and I thought, oh, my gosh, it would be poor form if I'm crying, and every session with every one of my clients. I really wanted to be a therapist. So I found myself very upset in that year, because I was going to client's house after client's house, including our own, we lost all of our homes. And people were crying in the kitchen, and they're like, what do I do? I don't know what to do. I'm losing my home, like, can you help me and it was, it was a lot. So I decided that I was gonna take a little break from being a realtor and I became someone that helped realtors with marketing. Now, I didn't know what I was doing. So if this can be a lesson to anyone out there, I'm a big believer, and you don't have to know what you're doing. Like, I always hired people on my team that had the passion, and the desire to learn that you didn't necessarily have experience. And so I had no experience, I had no experience in real estate when I started. I had no experience in marketing when I started. I was committed to figuring things out. And I loved the learning part of it. So as I was learning, I was very frustrated that there wasn't just like, one place that you could go, where people told you everything. And I thought, well, I'm just gonna make that as I go. And so I started helping people learn how to use Snapchat. That was the platform in the old days, in the old days.Lesley Logan 12:54  (Inaudible) elder millennial, come around the Snapchat fire children, let me tell you about dial-up. Oh, my gosh, that's amazing.Chelsea Peitz 13:02  Yeah. And you know, this, this really strange thing. And wonderful thing happened at the same time is I started getting on this app because I was making my coffee in the morning and I heard you know, Gary Vee talking about Snapchat. And he said something that really stood out to me. And he said, you know, it's, it's not about this disappearing content being nefarious or wired, why are people on it? What do they want to disappear? It's really about attention. And you know, being in the moment with someone I thought, you know, I'm just gonna give this a try. Now, you have to remember back then we didn't have live video, we didn't have Instagram stories. This was the first thing that you opened up. And there was no, there was no feed. There was no people. It was literally like, you had to create something. And it was a camera. And so mainly, you were probably talking to the camera. And then I remember meeting other people because I would search for people in real estate. And I would find people through through this the Snapchat grapevine. And I started talking to these people every day. And I would see them in their sacred spaces, I would see them in their living room, and I would see their families and I would see their pets. And I remember my husband came home one night and I said, oh my gosh, you're never gonna believe what happened to Shannon. And he's like, who's Shannon? I'm like, well, he's my Snapshot friend. He's like, oh, honey, he's like, honey, these aren't real people. You don't know these people. And I said, no, no, no, there's something different about this. And so long story short, we there was 24 of us that ended up meeting and doing a, you know, mastermind together in person, and it was beautiful and wonderful. And I still talk to those people to this day. And that was you know, in 2012 or 2013. And so I went on this journey of really studying brains biology and behavior and how we actually scientifically create screen-to-screen relationships. And let me tell you, that was not a keynote that sold very well until 2020. Okay, now we're gonna have to be on a screen and we're gonna have to how do we be human through a device and oh my gosh, for the rest of our lives, we are going to be connecting to other people in some form or fashion, whether it's a podcast or a Zoom meeting or a FaceTime with a client through technology. And so how do we create those connections? And so yeah, that was, that was sort of, you know, I wanted to learn Snapchat, and one person asked me how to use it. And then it became three and four, and then a 10-person class and a 30-person class, and then it was a 300-room stage. It never and I think that my, my superpower in how I got to those and kept getting asked was because of that special brain where I had a way to break it down, where if you would never use this thing, how you could systematically sort of understand it and try it. And it was okay, if you were afraid it was okay if you didn't want to put your face on, we can still find ways for you to use the tools. And so I think a lot of people were used to hearing oh, you have to do this. You can only be successful if you do it this way. And that way. And you'd have to post this many times. And I was like, well, I'm not doing that. And I'm making it. Lesley Logan 15:59  Yeah, no, I actually really do enjoy your feed because it's like the most approachable social media content coach I've ever met. Okay, there's a few things I want to like, go back to. So one, (inaudible) was also, I was in retail. So that's when I was I became a Pilates instructor, but I was just going to do it as a side hustle. And when everyone's canceling their Alhambra water delivery, they were paying for classes with me because they're just reevaluating how they spent their money, and things like that. So people thought I was crazy to do like that change. And, and I feel like those that time. And then also you brought up 2020, I had been doing business coaching for Pilates instructors since 2010. And I was doing like how to convert first time clients. And like, just like you, it's like people were just like, not like, well, not listening to me. And we had this coaching group that we started in 2018. And it was like just pulling teeth to get people to be in it because they're like, they'll come in for a month and they expect their business to change in a month. And we all know like it doesn't change in a month. Like it's just you're in these things for a while. And they change over time. But in May, I had already started teaching on Skype, y'all. Before Zoom, there was Skype. I've been teaching since like, I don't know, 2017 and we were flying home from Cambodia on March 13th, March 14th from Cambodia. And I was like, first of all, all of my, all of my contracts were being cancelled. And I was like, okay, I owe all this money back. And I have a studio that's closed, before I even get there. And no one knows how to do this. So I taught a workshop on how to teach on Zoom, how to price your sessions. And then and then finally, people paid attention, you know, and then it was this whole thing, because they needed to figure it out. And it was a really big tipping point for like people finally going, oh, I need I need to know how to do my business now. Because I can't just like trust it will be the same all the time. So I find, you guys, the whole point in sharing that story I just got off Chelsea's it's like, sometimes the worst, absolute worst times in our life are really just like setups for like, really cool things. Lesley Logan 18:09  So okay. Social media. Oh, my goodness, we all hate it. And we love it. And we need it. You when I first met you, you said I help people be vulnerable on social media. And I was like, oh, that I really want to know, I mean, I feel like I'm pretty vulnerable already. But like, so many people are scared to do that. And they feel like they have to put up some sort of front. And they're worried what people will say. And so I just was like let's talk about more about why you feel that being vulnerable is so important and then like how to do that in a be it till you see it kind of way. Chelsea Peitz 18:40  Yeah, my my focus is really overcoming limiting beliefs and to be completely transparent, which we have been, I love your podcast, because that's what it's all about. As somebody who struggles with at times, crippling anxiety with OCD, my entire life since I was six years old. The idea of me being vulnerable in a public forum is terrifying. And in fact, my therapist is like, okay, exposure therapy, here's what we'll do today. Because my you know, my biggest fear is a troll, a troll comment. That's so scary, right? And, you know, I deal with a lot of people who are not full-time content creators, nor have a desire to be and I was never taught like copywriting that is not my wheelhouse. So these are all things that I've kind of been learning. So there's a lot of complexity. So first, you have a layer of complexity of how to use the thing, the socials, the platforms, and then how do you make the videos and then you want to add in limiting beliefs on top of that when we're talking about video insecurity. And so just very, very simply, my best tip that I can share about limiting beliefs which is, is why we have difficulty showing up online as our as our true selves, and I'm not talking about, you know, oversharing, or sharing private things, you know, personal versus private, two totally different things. You know, in my opinion, the only original content is three things. The person which is your face and voice, the personality, which is the, you know, things that make you you, your flavor, your personal brand, the things that you like. And then last, but probably most importantly, is your perspective, the point of view, the lived experiences, and that's the part that gets really scary to share. Because we all know that not everybody is going to agree with our perspective, whether it's about the type of style that you teach Pilates, whether it's about whether you think the market is great to buy or sell a house right now, whether you think that less content is actually going to be a better strategy, whatever it is, right? People will not agree with it. And so the limiting beliefs around showing up online and really, that's where we get frustrated, because people are like, I'm doing this thing I'm doing, I've gone to all the conferences, I've taken the classes like it just said to show up consistently, and I'm doing that. Where is all my business? Lesley Logan 21:04  Yeah, yeah, just post every day or that one, one guy who's like you do your reel a day you post two times a day you go live, you do this, and I'm like, I have to eat lunch at some point, like, when is that?Chelsea Peitz 21:16  Yeah. And that strategy, that is a strategy that does work. And also, for me, as somebody who is highly anxious and has a lot of contentbstress, is burnout city, I become paralyzed. And so I can't do that. So I will also share some strategies for those who also are feeling content stress as well. But in this particular limiting beliefs, discussion, what I asked myself is one simple question. And then I'll give you a couple of examples for it as well. So the limiting beliefs that we have, first of all, the reason we're frustrated with our social media results, nine times out of 10 is because there's an there's a mismatch between the human being that you are in your content and your videos and the person that you are in the real world and we also have a lot of mindsets around well, this is social media it's not the real world. And it's not, right? It's very different. However, it's not not real life, just because I'm coming through a device, all of us spent years, from 2020 to 2022 and beyond having birthdays and holidays, and happy hours and meetings with human beings through devices like this. And was it as good as being in person? Of course not. However, when I told my parents who I didn't see for two and a half years, I love you guys. I miss you. I can't wait to see you again. Nobody would say that's not real. So it's different, you know, mindsets around it. But a lot of us, when it comes to creating content, specifically videos with us in it, feel this limiting belief of I can't stand how I look, I can't stand my voice. I'm not an expert enough, yet. People have said everything there is to say, who am I to bring something new to the table? What if I don't have any stories to tell? And so my main question, if those are things running through your head, which is very normal, they run through mine. Okay. The question I ask is, what would you do in real life? What would you do in real life? And most of your social media frustrations and questions can be answered by that one question. And so here's the example. Right? The age-old, I can't stand my voice. Let's talk about what would you do in real life? Let's imagine you're meeting a client, you're at the Starbucks or whatever, you're at your local coffee shop, and they ask you a question. And you know the answer to the question, this is your wheelhouse. This is your superpower. But instead of you actually answering the question, you're furiously writing on notebook pad, and you're writing, writing, writing, and you silently slided across the table. And it says, on the note, hey, I have the best answer for this. Here's the thing. I've heard my voice on video, it's cringe. So what I'm going to do is I'm going to write if you don't want, you sound great. So if you don't mind, just go ahead and talking. And I'm gonna go ahead and write it out, we see that these things clearly are illogical and that we would never do them in the real world.Lesley Logan 24:06  So much like that's just like, like that, too. Sometimes a little creeper.Chelsea Peitz 24:12  You're just like, oh, but now we realize we're like, oh, gosh, we wouldn't do that in real life. And, you know, it's like, you know, a lot of people are posting content that's, that doesn't have them in it. And that is, you know, there's nothing wrong with sales-focused content. But that's like throwing your business cards in someone's face and running away and then getting really mad that they didn't do business with you. And then you know, you're telling your friend, I even gave him the good cards. Oh, the ones that you had professionally designed, yeah, with a logo on it, and they still didn't want to do business with me. What would you do in real life? You'd get to know someone you talk to them, you'd ask them questions. This is the same exact thing. We're just doing it in a different vehicle. So it's not the destination. It's just a vehicle to get to the destination of creating actual real relationships through technology, which I think is great because it's free and it's scale and 24 years ago, I had to have your phone number and call you and oh my gosh, you had to answer for me to actually talk to you. Lesley Logan 25:08  Yes, I know. Like, I think about the people like I think about even when I started teaching Pilates like it was 2008. So Facebook was kind of a thing, but like not where you promote yourself. Like you were just like, it was like, what are you thinking about? Or like, what are you doing? Like, that's what you'd like wrote and it was like going to get Starbucks, like it was just a weird thing that no one how to use. So I think about like, how did I have to get clients, I had to like pound pavement and like, talk to strangers, and like, figure out a way that they wouldn't go she's a stranger talking to me. And it's true, we have this big joke at Profitable Pilates we go when you put like class at 6pm, you're basically trying to get strangers to sleep with you like that is a humongous commitment. Like if you think about in a bar, if you're in a bar, and I was like, look, maybe I'm dating myself, but that's how I found that's how I found dates, go to a bar, the dude who came up and was just like trying to make out with you. You're like, hold on, but the guy from across the bar who like made the eye contact, and then commented on your shirt, and then asked you your name. Like that was the one you wanted. It was because the other one came on too strong. That's what it's like when you're like, come take my class, by my thing you're like, basically like in their face coming on too strong. They just met you try not to sleep with them on the first day.Chelsea Peitz 26:21  Oh, that is a great analogy.Lesley Logan 26:22  I think business and dating are very similar. So in my my past life, I run a dating blog. And so that's kind of how that my brain works there. Oh, I know, I made dating my job back in 2013, guys. It's kind of how I got into blogging. But anyways, I really like how you said like, think about your social media as like what you would do in real life. So if you don't like your voice, like what would you really do? You guys, if it helps. I don't really like the sound of my voice. But exposure therapy, I have to listen to everybody. I have to watch any YouTube video that we put out. I like I have to like watch my face. I'm like, really what is going on in my eye there like, and let me tell you, none of the trolls have even said what's going on with my eye there. So like, it's really quite funny how we get a little judgmental. People don't hear your voice the same way that you do. Chelsea Peitz 27:16  No, they don't. And I just want to give a little bit of a scientific reason that all of us are kind of going through that. You know, the worst thing is, you know, people say public speaking is like the biggest fear. I honestly think it's watching your own videos back sometimes especially can you imagine if you had to do it in front of people, people that knew you, your friends, oh, that's even like cringier so a lot of us are people that want to be prepared. And we're creating content that positions us as an authority in our field, whatever that may be. Chelsea Peitz 27:48  So naturally, we start to prepare. And we might have a script, we may write out ideas, we may think that we have to appear as a specific persona or version of ourselves to be taken seriously and build that authority. And so what happens, as people who want to be prepared, we do these things. And then what happens is the mismatch on the video, because we are if you're scripting or if you're memorizing, you are thinking about the third bullet point, and your mouth and face are on the first one, and it activates a different part of our brain. That is into memorization and reading versus the actual conversation. And so then what usually happens is we have these warmth cues in our face that are completely dull. And that's not how we're used to talking and seeing ourselves and imagining ourselves talking. And so when we watch that back, we're like, that's me, but it's a misalignment. Also, we're usually not moving our bodies or moving our hands. And one of the funny things I tell people is trying to do a walk in a talk, because it's oddly will distract your mind from every single thing that you're saying and how your voice sounds. Chelsea Peitz 28:55  So I wish I had those tips when I was starting video and back in the old days, because I just had that mindset that if you just keep doing it, you'll sweat your way through it. And friends, I didn't watch a video of mine for five years. I don't recommend that strategy. However, if that is the self awareness that you have, where you will not make another video if you watch it back, then don't watch it back because I knew at that time in my life and that season, I was not going to make another video if I watched it back. Now I do watch my videos back and I feel much more comfortable with it. But I didn't have those. I didn't know the why. Why am I feeling so off when I see myself and by the way, scientifically, the acoustics in your brain are different. So the fact that you hear yourself differently than you think you sound everybody does. It's been scientifically proven and we are typically looking in the mirror when we're getting ready in the morning and often we're singing reverse image and my face is not symmetrical. So it's like this, this incongruence in your brain where you're like, I know that's my face, but it looks a little bit different. You change those warmth cues too and then you have this like double layer. And you don't even realize that's happening. It's subconscious, right? We're just picking up on something is off. And the only thing we can attribute it to is it's us. We're the problem, right? Chelsea Peitz 30:21  So yeah, so there's a you know, a lot of a lot of work also to that goes into gosh, my least favorite words authenticity and value when it comes to social media and content. And they're my least favorite only because they're the most under-explained. It's very hard to be authentic in front of a camera, like, what does that mean? Right? The value. Well of course, we want to provide value, but like, exactly what is value? Can you define that for me? A lot of people are like, oh, you're so comfortable on camera, and I love that it's authentic. And I'm like, yeah, well, it wasn't always and to tell someone, just be yourself on camera is really hard. Because we should be self-aware and know ourselves, but we're really not. And that's sort of the journey of, of self-awareness that I've been going through for years and will continue to go through.Lesley Logan 31:10  Yeah, I love that you brought that up. Also the permission to not watch I had to learn how to do iMovie back in it must have been 2013. Maybe it was 2014. Because these girls that I tried to be Pilates instructors were like, you should audition for the next Pilates Anytime instructor and I was like, I What do I have to do? And they're like, we've got a YouTube channel and I was like, so okay, already like now I gotta learn tech. I have to like, and I had to like film it of course this is you guys. People don't believe when Brad and I, we didn't have a tripod for a long time. Tripods were expensive back then you guys, you now, you get like a $12 like thing that will hold your phone, it will last for years, this tripod, the first tripod we bought was over $100. It was so expensive to like, have it do what we need to do. So Brad would have to hold (inaudible). So my girlfriend's like holding my phone really still. We have to wait for the fire trucks to go by. Right. We film the thing I have to now edit, you know, the beginning and the end, I have to upload this whole thing. And I saw myself teach and I, if it hadn't been for those girls, I would never have submitted because they were like, they took the time out of their day to be the body to film it. And I was like, oh my God, who is going to vote for me, you guys. I ended up in the top 10. And yeah, huge like because my peers like the these famous teachers had to like vote me in and then I didn't win. But I had this video out there. When Brad was like, you have to do YouTube. I was like, no, I shouldn't do it. Like my (inaudible) perspective. Like there's people been teaching longer than me who might do this. And he's like, I don't care. You're gonna do it. You guys, I didn't watch any of those videos for years. Brad edited them. They went up and I it took me years before I actually watched one start to finish. You get better when you watch yourself back, I'm just gonna tell you right now you can actually (inaudible) oh, it looks really weird when I do that thing. Okay, I won't do that thing. Like, it doesn't have to be like, you're terrible. But we left all those videos up and people, you know, either they just see that my hair has gotten longer. But I leave them up because I think it's important for people to see like how far I've come not just with technology, which has changed amazingly. But also just you get better the more you do things like that's just how it goes.Chelsea Peitz 33:18  Yeah, and that's the human experience. Really, it's it's the person who's watching you now, that went down the rabbit hole because they want to be there inspired by you. And they want to do what you're doing and happen to find videos from 2013. And I would venture to guess that that person isn't like, oh my gosh, look at this back when she was that? It's wow, look at this and how how I could start here and and I could become that. So yeah, I want people to see that because I am a human being who evolves and changes and permission-giving is a big part of my my ethos and my brand. Because I tell people listen, if you don't feel like showing your face right now, okay, listen, maybe you're putting maybe you're taking care of a parent, maybe your parent is leaving their home and you're, you're helping them, you know, figure out their their life. Maybe you just lost your job. And maybe you're just having a mental health challenge right now. And that's okay. You know, there's different seasons of life and business, and you have the permission to do what you need to do to take care of yourself first. And if you're like, I just want to post once a week. And that's just what I want to do. Great. Let's make it an awesome one. Let's let's make that the one thing you want to do if you don't want to show your face and videos. Okay, let's figure out how we can still create relationships that don't require that. So yeah, I'm all about permission. Lesley Logan 34:51  Oh, yeah. I love that. I think that's really I think it's important because you're a human being and like you're gonna have different times in your life and like, yeah, especially if you have a business that requires putting yourself out there, you're gonna have to, you might have to keep doing that even going through things. But you can do that in different ways. It doesn't have to always be the same. I really enjoy, I enjoy that permission. I also really love your outlook on like, on social media, because you're right, you don't, you don't have to do it every day. It's not your job. In fact, it's not even on social media, it's kind of your job, it's not your job. You know, it's not your you do full time you do other things. I want to I want to ask you like what you're super excited about right now what's coming up for you?Chelsea Peitz 35:36  Oh, I am super excited that I am doing something that I swore I would never do. And if I'm being really honest, I probably knew that I was kind of lying to myself all these years when I said I wouldn't do another book. And now with our amazing group that we mastermind with, I have decided I'm gonna do a third book. And I'm very, very, very excited about that. And I feel much different about it. I feel like I'm gonna be very calm. I was not calm before, there was one story that people still and I just actually talked about it yesterday on my Instagram stories where I posted a little snippet that I started the third book. And there was somebody that said, and this is an important lesson here within a lesson somebody said, I remember following you on your first book about Snapchat. And that was years, years ago. And so just people you people are connecting while they're consuming, even if they're not in your DMs or your feed every day. And I remember there was one story where I was so stressed, I had never written a book before, I didn't know what I was doing another instance of that. And I printed out a whole book on my printer at home. And I literally had cut each sentence. And I had this long 13-person dining room table. And I had taken the sentences these strips of paper that I had cut, and I was moving them around deciding where I wanted them in different because I just couldn't do it on the on the Word document on the computer. And I remember people saying, are you okay? Is everything okay? (inaudible) We're concerned about you. But there you go. That was my that was the way that my brain was able to do it. But yes. So I'm excited because I am officially going to be creating the third book, and I'm not going to self-publish it. I've self-published the other two. So I'm going to go probably hybrid model but more traditional publishing. And it's, you know, I think I think the title is going to be something like, you know, Build an Un-copy-pastable Brand something along along those lines. So yeah, exciting.Lesley Logan 37:44  This is exciting. And I you have to we'll have to have you back on when you get the then you've gone through the journey and the book is gonna come out because I do want people to hear that journey. We've had other authors come on and share the journey of getting the publisher and it's, it's, there's a story in there. And there's so much to go in there. And it helps us all see that it's not just doesn't just go like you write something, you hit print and someone's like, I'm gonna buy it. So I really can't wait to tell that story because it's going to be beautiful. And I can't wait to buy this book when it's out already. Like it's going to be purchased for many people. Chelsea, we're going to take a brief break and then find out where we'll find you, follow you or work with you and your Be It Action Items.Lesley Logan 38:01  All right, Chelsea, where do you like to spend your time on the socials where is your website? Where can people, if they want to learn more about social media, work with you?Chelsea Peitz 38:28  My favorite social platform that I hang out the most on is Instagram primarily because of Instagram stories. They are my favorite thing in the world. And you will really get to know me and create that I feel like I already know your feeling. So I'd love to hear from you, send me a DM let me know you came from the show. And also my website and Instagram. They're just my name. So my first and last name, it's Chelsea.Peitz. P-E-I-T-Z. And I know you'll put that in the show notes. So definitely send me a message and let me know. I've got a ton of free courses on Instagram, downloads, guides, I really, really give everything away. And my business coach is like, well, at some point, you are gonna have to sell something (inaudible). My book is on there and everything. And yeah, so that's where I hang out the most. But yeah, you can find those resources either on my Instagram profile or on my website. Lesley Logan 39:20  Perfect. Well, I've already started downloading them, you guys so you will be too. Okay, before I let you go, you've already given us so many lessons and tips. But for the too long, didn't read or the you know, just maybe an action item that we didn't touch on today. What are your bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted steps people can take to be it till they see it? Chelsea Peitz 39:38  I'm gonna give you my favorite, favorite, favorite social media tip. It's the thing that I start everything with. It'll be the second chapter of my book. And it's about changing your mindset today about the idea of content creation because I know that's the number one challenge. What do I post? I don't create content. How do I do this? I don't want to be creating videos all the time. Okay, so here's my one mindset shift for you to take on today is to reframe how you think about content and to reframe it in the sense that the most important content, the most original content, the most mindshare-building content that you can ever create is actually not traditional content at all. It's your conversations. And we already mentioned this earlier in the in the show, 24 years ago, I had to have your phone number you had to you had to answer I had to mail you something, I had to put postage on something, I had to drive somewhere and meet you. And now we have this beautiful opportunity to connect with other human beings, not sell to them, but literally talk to them, and comment on their posts. And also send them a direct message and say, hey, I just wanted to let you know, you've really inspired me today. Thank you. So we have the ability to create relationships, first and foremost, without ever making a video. And we can do it in 30 seconds a day, in our pajamas, from bed. And here's the one little extra bonus point, right? When you talk to people on the socials, whatever social media platform of your choice, the social media platform wakes up and says, oh, you want to talk to this person more in the future. So what it actually does is it trains your algorithm, and it works harder and smarter for your future content. So that when you do post something, that person that you've been talking to and supporting and connecting with and encouraging, that person is going to see your content. And they're also going to have this really positive them-focused experience because you're just supporting their content. So don't be discouraged that you need to go out and get a videographer and create content and learn all these hooks and those calls to actions. The real strategy is talking to people and it's an old sales strategy from the beginning of sales time. How many people, how many conversations have you had today? And you can do it for free at scale from your bed on social media, right? Lesley Logan 42:00  Brad's gonna love this so much because he has his whole thing on like 200 no's to rejection like him, back in his sales days, he was like he was told like you if you get rejected 200 times you'll be successful. And so he was just like out there to talk to people and he'll go oh, I got rejected. That's he gamified it, that's one, that's two like, oh, that person that rejected me and he had to say oh, like so I do love this. I love it because one it gives you all permission to consume a little bit which might even give you some ideas but also you know, if you're if you're not wanting to create content, create yet, building those relationships is going to make you feel so supported when you do because all those people, you're right, because Chelsea and I talked like, you know, looking into each other's stuff. I see her posts, I'm like, oh, look at this, oh, I needed this today. That's so amazing. So it really does brighten your day and it does change the social experience. I think so. I love that. Chelsea, thank you for your amazingness and being you and sharing your story and being so vulnerable and giving us all permission. It's just really beautiful. I'm so grateful. Y'all how we're going to use these tips in your life. Make sure you tag Chelsea Peitz or DM her. Hey, you can actually do the Be It Action Item with her. You can actually just go have a conversation with her. I think that's actually really great. I want you to do that homework. Tag the Be It Pod. Let us know how you enjoyed this and until next time, Be It Till You See It. Lesley Logan 43:16  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day.   Lesley Logan 43:44  Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @Be It Pod.  Brad Crowell 43:59  It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell.Lesley Logan 44:04  It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co. Brad Crowell 44:08  Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist Gianfranco Cioffi.Lesley Logan 44:15  Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals. Brad Crowell 44:18  Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/be-it-till-you-see-it/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

This episode revisits the earnest conversation with the author of Teetering on a Tightrope, Steven Wilson, and his lifelong journey with bipolar disorder. Brad and Lesley explore the critical role of supporters in the lives of those battling mental health issues, emphasizing the delicate balance between caring and enabling. Listen as they share actionable insights for listeners to become more informed and empathetic advocates in their communities.If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co. And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.In this episode you will learn about:How laughter can have an impact on our income. The limits of your capacity to help someone with mental health disorder. The significance of seeking professional advice when necessary.Advocating for mental health awareness and support in your community.Why empathy is crucial for those struggling with mental health issues.Episode References/Links:Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon HillGlossary: Equivalized IncomeImpact of Social Relationships on Income–Laughter Relationships Among Older PeopleAgency Mini 10OPC Summer CampOPC Reformer Accountability ChallengeSpy Corrector ControlLogix discountThe Barrels DeckCambodia Early BirdCall Your Congressperson - 202-224-3121NAMI (National Alliance for Mental IllnessTeetering on a Tightrope by Steven Wilson  If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. DEALS! Check out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper's Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox Be in the know with all the workshops at OPCBe It Till You See It Podcast SurveyBe a part of Lesley's Pilates MentorshipFREE Ditching Busy Webinar  Resources:Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!Lesley Logan websiteBe It Till You See It PodcastOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley LoganOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTubeProfitable Pilates Follow Us on Social Media:InstagramFacebookLinkedIn  Episode Transcript:Brad Crowell 0:00  We could start getting some things done if we as a community, who maybe we are suffering ourselves, or maybe we know someone who is suffering, but the only reason the only way that change will happen in the mental health in our country, in our communities is if we become active in voicing our desire for change for the need for support in this area is so important.Lesley Logan 0:30  Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.Brad Crowell 1:08  Hey everyone, Brad here today. Today we're gonna talk about depression, suicide and mental health. And if that's triggering for you, feel free to skip this episode. If you or anyone you know is struggling with thoughts of suicide, or are in a mental crisis you can call 988 in the US for the suicide and crisis hotline. And there are there are definitely hotlines in every country around the world I'm sure so take a quick look online. Anyway, onto the episode.Lesley Logan 1:50  Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview recap where my co-host in life, Brad, and I are going to dig into the earnest convo I had with Steve Wilson in our last episode, if you haven't yet, listened to the interview, feel free to pause this now, go back and listen to that one and then come back and join us. You might be wondering what the point of this interview is, if you listen to that one, and the whole thing is is like my frickin goodness, we don't talk about mental health enough, enough. And either in your journey, you might personally have some issues with your mental health. Whether it is something that is something that you need to medicate or it's just something of different therapy around or someone in your life is and it can be fucking difficult when someone in your life is going through something you can't fix. And so I really wanted to have this earnest conversation. But before we get into that, today is February 8th 2024. And it's a Laugh and Get Rich Day and you know what? It's a day to laugh and to enjoy the many benefits that laughter brings. The biggest benefit of laughter is it improves our health. Laughing can elevate our mood, lower stress and blood pressure, pressure and strengthen the immune system. Pause. I'm gonna just tell you when I grew up, my parents used to tickle us and go laughter brings healing to the bone. Brad Crowell 2:59  It's the best medicine. Lesley Logan 3:00  Laughter is the best medicine and like we just would laugh, laugh laugh right before bed, which makes zero sense because we couldn't fall asleep afterwards. Brad Crowell 3:07  You get fired up, yeah. Lesley Logan 3:07  But anyway, that's fine. Back to this script of what this day is about. In this way, laughter makes us rich because health is wealth after all. But laughter can also contribute to our financial gains by enriching your professional lives. Those who laugh often tend to be happier. Hello? Happy workers are more productive and are liked by co-workers.Brad Crowell 3:27  So okay, so I looked into this because I was like, laugh and get rich Come on, are you for real? Lesley Logan 3:33  That Think and Grow Rich is that but like Laugh and Get Rich by Napoleon Hill.Brad Crowell 3:38  I was a bit skeptical to say the least. So can laughter actually have an impact on our income? Turns out there is an NIH or a National Institute of Health study that looked into this exact thing. And the results revealed a significant relationship between equivalent income and the frequency of laughter, social relationships and family structures were also associated with the frequency of laughter. So surprise, laughter can actually have an impact on your income and your relationships with other people. So, how about that?Lesley Logan 4:11  (Inaudible) next line? Brad Crowell 4:11  Laugh it up fuzzball.Lesley Logan 4:14  That's a Star Wars reference, by the way. Katie Donnelly, got it. And Rachel Piper and maybe if there's other Star Wars people go for it, let me know. All right, let's go. So February 11th, is when we actually start Agency Mini Number 10.Brad Crowell 4:31  Number ten. Lesley Logan 4:32  So, that's just in three days you can go to OPC, no, that's not it.Brad Crowell 4:35  Nope. You can go to profitablepilates.com/mini Lesley Logan 4:39  Wow, I've never done that profitablepilates (laughs) that's how rich I am, profitablepilates.com/mini. Just sign up because we have yet to pick an Agency Mini Number 11 state and that's not a threat. It's just reality. We are really, really trying to get down to one time a year with this, and we don't know if it's gonna be this year, but it could be. So you want to sign up? Because that's might could be the last time we don't know. Brad Crowell 5:07  Yeah, so we're gonna be helping fitness business owners just like you figure out their messaging, clarify their purpose and how to create a pitch that isn't salesy and feels natural to you, in a week of getting to know Lesley and I and our coaching style, and then afterwards, you can join us in the Agency program. Lesley Logan 5:25  And or just get every question you've ever had answered, like you think you want to start a membership, we'll tell you pros and cons. And we'll tell you if you're ready. And if you are ready, we'll tell you how to keep going. And if you're not, we'll tell you how to get ready. Like, we're not we're not here to shoot anyone's dreams down. We're here to actually make it possible. And we don't want to waste your time doing it. Okay, now OPC. We have summer camp coming up this summer, and we're letting you know that it's coming up, because it's gonna be amazing. And usually throughout the year, we do little workshops. We're not doing that anymore. We're doing a summer camp instead. So you don't want to miss it because it's going to be amazing. And you're going to want to go to opc.me/workshops to get on the waitlist way to go, babe. Added that right in right there live opc.me/workshops that's plural. Okay. Then there's an OPC reformer challenge going on right now.Brad Crowell 6:19  Actually it just wrapped.Lesley Logan 6:20  Just wrapped. But you know what, it didn't wrap for you. Because you can, this is why we're amazing, you can actually sign up for it right now because it starts when you want to start it.Brad Crowell 6:28  You sure can. Lesley Logan 6:28  That's opc.me/challenge. And if you're like, Y'all, I want an accountability challenge. But I don't have reformer. Well keep listening, because in March, we will have a mat version for you. So it's really, really amazing. You can start that anytime if you're like, ah, this week's not great, LL, I'm going to start next week, fine. Write down opc.me/challenge and then sign up next week. Running down this list here. I already mentioned the March Madness Mat Challenge because it's coming up in March, so you know stay tuned. The presale for the barrels flashcard deck. Here's what I can tell you right now because I just placed the order. The spine corrector is finally available from ControlLogix. And if you're like what? Yes, it is. Do you want my discount link? Yes, you do. We'll put it in the show notes, but also Brad Crowell 6:31  Go to opc.me/perks Lesley Logan 6:54  Perks. And if you're like, they want me to call them LL. Well guess what reach out to us. We got an email of the salesperson who will hook you up with my discount link, but you have to email me for that email. So you want to, for the Barrels Deck, the best price is always a presale price. Why? Because we make you wait several months to get them. So your payment for waiting and being patient is 30% off. And the only way to get that is to be on the waitlist for the flashcard which is opc.me/flashcardwaitlist. Do you see how the waitlists are where the epic should happen? Because that's where it happens. Brad Crowell 7:49  That's where it happens. Lesley Logan 7:50  That's where it happens. Amazon podcasts, obviously, so opc.me/flashcardwaitlist, I'm gonna talk over the dog.Brad Crowell 7:58  I couldn't help myself. Every time you touch me it's like static electricity snap on my earballs. Lesley Logan 8:03  For sure. Everyone who's watching on YouTube is watching us like this weird thing with our heads. It's I'm being shocked in my earballs. Okay, so last but not least, the Cambodia early bird has closed. And oh my God, you guys Brad Crowell 8:19  There may still be a few spots left. Lesley Logan 8:21  We don't know because we're recording this in the future in the past for the future. Brad Crowell 8:26  In the past for the future. Lesley Logan 8:27  But if you go to lesleylogan.co/retreat plural or singular? Brad Crowell 8:34  Singular. Lesley Logan 8:34  Singular. You can sign up and see if there and if it says sold out. Well. Brad Crowell 8:40  Lo siento. Lesley Logan 8:41  Yeah, lo siento. I'm sorry. Flash not get on the waitlist.Brad Crowell 8:48  Go to retreats plural and get on the waitlist for next year. Lesley Logan 8:50  Yeah. All right. Before we get into this awesome topic about mental health, do we have an audience question, Brad?Brad Crowell 8:56  We sure did. Thank you, Shawn from Youtube. What are the measurements for the arm and leg springs on the Cadillac if I wanted to make my Cadillac more classical? Lesley Logan 9:08  So, I love this, Shawn. And here's the quick and dirty answer. I have listed the entire measurements for every place where you would want to place a hook on your Cadillac or tower or wall unit on the Cadillac flashcard. So you buy that flashcard deck. It's right there and also in centimeters because I am aware that the rest of the world uses the metric system. Is that correct?Brad Crowell 9:29  Yes, yes it is.Lesley Logan 9:33  Well, what system do we use? Brad Crowell 9:34  Imperial.Lesley Logan 9:35  Imperial. That sounds so tough. Imperial? In this country an imperial system? What? That makes no sense. It makes me think of like, like going to the Great Wall of China. Imperial. Okay. Brad Crowell 9:50  It's because we roll. Lesley Logan 9:51  Wow, you know what, you guys, America makes us really wonder too. Okay, but I do have the metrics system listed, as well as the Imperial. Inches versus centimeters for people who were like, what's the translation there? If you're wanting to make your equipment more classical, if you're an OPC member, we actually help out with this a lot, by the way, because we can look at each particular piece of equipment and give you feedback on yours, also based on your body. But the other thing you want to consider everyone who is retrofitting or not even retrofitting, but just like making modifications to the equipment you have, it's very important, you know this, don't go buy clips at the hardware store, don't like you got to be really, really careful what you're doing, because your equipment that you have, is definitely tested to stand the test of time for the springs that are sold with it. So if you're buying springs, that are not the brand of equipment that you have, here is the deal, should some shit hit the fan. The way the insurance companies work, is your insurance company is going to get sued, don't stress about it, that's why you have one, but then your insurance company's gonna go to the manufacturer, manufacturer will go, nope, we don't use those springs on our equipment. Now, that doesn't mean you're personally responsible. It just means that your insurance company is going to take the fall for it and they don't get to pass the buck off to somebody else. Again, don't stress about it but you need to make sure that if you are making changes to your equipment that the clips that you buy go with the springs because the springs and the clips that they sell those springs have been tested for the torque of the springs. So if you go to the Home Depot, or I don't know what you call it in another country, those clips are not tested for the (inaudible) I don't know Home D. They didn't sponsor this episode. So (inaudible) we keep saying their name, but if you're gonnaBrad Crowell 11:49  I bleed orange.Lesley Logan 11:50  Do you remember that okay, you guys. There's a reel, there's a reel where this girl she's like I have never pronounced an L so hard as when I went into the hardware store and said I need to buy some (inaudible) but anyways, okay, when you you don't want to so the moral the story don't buy your clips at a hardware store. Whatever springs you buy buy clips from that manufacturer because they are tested for the torque and tension of the spring and pressures about to happen keep that in mind. If you're gonna make changes people do this all the time. That doesn't mean it's right it just don't stress about it. Brad Crowell 12:32  It's an FYI. Lesley Logan 12:32  Just an FYI. Brad Crowell 12:33  Shawn, thank you for that question on YouTube. And if you would like to leave a question for us, where should they go? Lesley Logan 12:40  Oh, you can just leave it anywhere. Apparently we just pick them up anywhere. We just pick them up anywhere. So I infusing it into the Be It Pod is much easier. But just like the T the TL didn't listen TL DL. You fast-forward it. Get the flashcards for the Cadillac Deck they are they are they are also labeled for towers and you will have the measurements there. Brad Crowell 13:01  OPC.me/flashcards. Okay, now let's talk about [Steve] Wilson. Diagnosed with bipolar disorder in 1978. After years of misdiagnosis and struggles, including a pivotal stay in a mental institution, he eventually found stability. Beyond writing his book Teetering On a Tightrope: My Bipolar Journey in 2022, [Steve] dedicates his time to facilitating two mental health support groups, providing a hope and understanding to those navigating similar challenges.Lesley Logan 13:37  Yeah, so I have to say like, the more I thought about him, the more I thought about his wife that he's been married to forever. Brad Crowell 13:44  Yeah. She's a rockstar.Lesley Logan 13:45  And when I told my dad about this guy, and my dad was like I said, he has been married for this many years. And he goes, Wow, she's tough. Like, andBrad Crowell 13:53  50-year 50-something years of marriage and for part of it, he was likeLesley Logan 13:58  MisdiagnosedBrad Crowell 13:59  Completely misdiagnosed.Lesley Logan 14:00  Mismedicated. And so I kind of I resonate with that. And I wanted to have him on for some reason. First of all, I fell in love with him in like a pre-interview chat. And he he is, you know, dying as we speak. Like he he didn't tell me why he's dying. But he does. He's dying. So. So I wanted to have him on as quickly as possible because I really love that he is wanting to share and make a mental health something that we're all talking about. And he dedicates his time if you listen to the episode to like helping people talk about their mental health, but also like I just think that it's so it can be so hard and can feel so selfish when you are trying to make your magic happen and someone around you is suffering. And so one of my takeaways is it's very tough job to be a supporter. And you've got to love them. And you know, making sure they have housing and good stuff, but like, you can't, you also can't fix them. And that's the hardest part is that we all want to fix people. You know, I know everyone listening in here, a lot of them are teachers, a lot of them are in the service industry of some kind. And they like, and they're mostly are women and so you're inherently a caregiver who just want to love up and support people. But you, you can support them, but you don't have the answers. Unless you do. Unless you're trained in that. And then you do, like, why I have a client who is a psychologist who totally does, but um, but it can be really difficult, you know, even even her own personal life, she has some family members who have some mental health issues, and she can't (inaudible)Lesley Logan 14:09  You know, like, if it's family, they also know what you do, and it can be resentful, you know, or they can resent it. So yeah, it's tough. I mean, being a supporter.Lesley Logan 15:49  Yeah. And also, like, you know, something that I want to bring up that I think is important we had Lindsay, what's Lindsay's new last name? Lindsay, my old assistant, she did a course for us on Profitable Pilates, about being an advocate. And one of the first things she said, which is she was quoting somebody else, which is like, you can Brad Crowell 16:15  Moore.Lesley Logan 16:16  Lindsey Moore. Lindsey, if you're listening, I'm so sorry, I can't remember your last name. It's not even new anymore. But she, she brought up a person's like, a quote in the industry is like, you could only advocate you can only support someone in the amount that you have energy-wise, like there's a Venn diagram of their needs, and what you have to offer. And it's very, very important that you are acknowledging what you have to offer because if you go beyond that, you now no longer can serve them, or yourself or the people you're responsible for in your life. And I think that can be really difficult when we're watching someone suffer, because we can want a lot of things for them. And he has bipolar disorder. But you know, we know people who have gross narcissism and things like that, like, it's really freaking hard, because you're like, I just want them to take their meds or I just want them to do these things. And you, you can love them, and you can support them, and you can advocate for them in the amount that you actually have. And that's really, really hard for people to live with. Because they want to do more.Brad Crowell 17:20  Yeah, and, you know, I'm sure there's many of you out there who are in a situation right now where you're supporting someone. And you know, what [Steve] was talking about what that was just loving them, you know, he talked about people say, angry things to you. And it's really easy, I guess, easy is the wrong word. But it's, you can get to the point where you just want to snap back and he said, you know, that will never work. It will not work. But yeah, I you know, it just makes me think back through the relationships that I've had in my life and, you know, seeing trying to be there trying to be supportive without also being pulled down yourself. That's really challenging.Lesley Logan 18:10  Yeah. Well, and that's but that's like that whole like, we all ignore. No one listens to security tips anymore on the plane, although we should because the door just blew off. But we like that was Brad Crowell 18:24  Did you hear someone they found somebody's iPhone, it blew out of the plane 16,000 feet it landed, it was still working.Lesley Logan 18:31  What? Yeah, that's crazy. They also found the plug that came out in the first place, which like, yeah, at any rate, listen to the security thing. They say one thing that's very important, put your own air mask on first. And we all tend to give more than we have. And it's just, that's not gonna help anybody. And if you're not an expert in mental health it is okay to seek out an expert. And there's also a lot of groups you know, like in the world of AA and stuff like that. There's Al-Anon there's different, there's different groups for people who have people who suffer from mental health issues so that you can be seen by people who get you because like, you could tell you're, I have friends like you go to tell them a problem and they like just do not they're, it's okay for them to be the wrong person. You know, so, which I think is it's important to acknowledge that sometimes our friends are amazing, our family's amazing, but they're not the right support for us. If you're going with some if you have someone in your life or you yourself have a mental health situation. Brad Crowell 19:33  Well, one thing that I really loved that he said, what that he talked about was after he moved to Arizona, and had the appropriate medical diagnosis and the meds he was on we're actually providing support for him. He really wanted to give back. And so actually, before he even moved, he was starting to do speaking at high schools and stuff. But he said, When he got to Arizona, he was they turned him away. Because he's in his 60s and trying to talk to like 15-year-olds, he wasn't as relatable as they were looking for. So he said, alright, well, I'm gonna go do this anyway. But I'm going to work in support groups. And so he started, he began facilitating two different support groups. And he's been doing that for the last eight years. And you know, his mission. He said, he started that whole thing back in the 90s when he had a clothing store, in Ohio, and two people, two young people, he knew had committed suicide, and that's really took him down the teen route and supporting teens, you know, and then today, you know, he's supporting these groups that are, you know, all ages, but it sounded to me, like his passion is still youth, and really working with youth. Brad Crowell 21:00  And you had a great question for him, you asked him, hey, we got a lot of moms on this program. You know, how do you begin to identify or, you know, what do you do? If your kid is beginning to struggle and they're unwilling to talk to you or they're exhibiting these different signs, and he said, he said, watch your child and notice if there are changes in their moods or actions, and you do not probe that he said, the first telltale sign is that their overall attitude will shift, whether that whether they're playing like, maybe they're escaping into video games, or you notice that their grades are dropping, or they never go outside. You know, these are signs that there's there's very much like something that's mentally, like, they're struggling with something right. And for him, it was abuse or sexual abuse. Right? And his parents he said weren't paying attention, and they wouldn't have known what to do anyway, because nobody was talking about it 50 years ago, (inaudible) more than 50. He was it would have been, he's in the 70s now, he's in his 80's now?Lesley Logan 22:14  I don't know how old he is now. But it was, he was like eight Brad Crowell 22:17  Yeah, he was he was less than 10 years. Lesley Logan 22:19  So young. But you know what's crazy to me is like, we all talk about like, oh, the world was worse now than it was no, it was terrible then Brad Crowell 22:27  Yeah he was raped as an eight-year-old in a movie theater (inaudible). Lesley Logan 22:32  There was no language around that and no one was taught opening up like my parents were very much like, no one's gonna touch you, these are your private parts. You can only be touched here if you give permission like, but like, that wasn't happening. My dad was never told that. Do you know what I mean? Like I like think about my dad's age when I was thinking about Steven, and I was just like, that wasn't happening. We but we pretend like nothing was happening bad back then. But it was. It's just it wasn't on the news it wasn't getting from this location to another location. Brad Crowell 23:02  And yeah, there wasn't the the Internet to disseminate, you know, that this has happened. happenedLesley Logan 23:06  This has and what are the telltale signs? And you know I Brad Crowell 23:08  You don't hear about it. Lesley Logan 23:09  I happened to, this morning, I happened to, I don't know why my news app came up, but and I also don't know why I clicked on this article. But I'm glad I did because I think it's really fitting for this. So Jessica Alba. I don't even know what she does today, in what, but she was interviewed for a magazine. Real Simple's first health issue, mental health issue, she was interviewed for it. And she was very open and honest that she and her daughters go to therapy together. And I was like, wow, that's so interesting that she would share that. And she actually shared how she got her daughters to go to therapy with her. And by the way, every one of my friends who has a daughter, I'm like, just so you know, they're gonna hate you for 10 years minimum, at least, you gotta let it go. You got to be prepared for that. Like they're just going to hate you. But Jessica Alba, she noticed that her daughters and her were having conflicts. And so she actually signed them up for therapy. And she said, this is your hour to tell me everything that you are upset about with me. And so parents listening, if you're trying to get your kiddos, to talk to you what's going on, what a great way to preface this is your vent hour like you can be up you can say everything you don't like about me in this container. And then there's a therapist there who can help you as a parent, articulate what they need, and also can help this kid that you're raising, you know, share what's going on with them. And like I just think it was I loved it. I was like, if my parents had told me, this is my parent venting hour I'm in therapy every week would have loved it. Mom, if you and dad are listening, just saying, that would have been a better marketing strategy.Brad Crowell 24:53  Yeah, she has a 15 and a 12-year-old daughter and then a younger son. Lesley Logan 24:58  So anyways, I think it's really important that we know the signs when you have kids and also just like how to support people that are going through it. So that doesn't affect you in a way that is beyond what you can handle. It's okay.Brad Crowell 25:13  Yeah. He said if you if you do identify, you know, like a dramatic change like those, those things, he said, you need to connect with your kids. So figure out how to connect with them, how to build a relationship with them. Jessica Alba was give her daughters' venting time. He said, it's important that you don't straight up say that there's something wrong with them, and we need to fix it. So we're gonna go to a psychiatrist like, that is probably terrifying for them. Also mortifying for them, because they're probably feeling embarrassed or guilty.Lesley Logan 25:50  Anything wrong with them in high school and junior high, like everybody, butBrad Crowell 25:53  Also like, you know, like I you know, what did he say? He said he didn't tell anybody about his abuse for 30 years, 30 years before he told him what so he was 38 before he ever talked about it. Right? So it's the, the guilt and the fear associated with it, it makes it easy to hide that kind of a thing. And so he said, be gentle in the approach. Yeah. Lesley Logan 26:27  Yeah. I think that's amazing. Brad Crowell 26:29  All right. Let's talk about those Be It Action Items. What bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted action items can we take away from your convo with [Steve] Wilson? He said that it's a terribly long journey ahead, you know, to stabilize mental health. You know, and he was specifically talking about the two different types of bipolar disorder. And he I want to say he had type two, I think that's what he had. But, you know, you had a really interesting conversation about stability. And, you know, he said, we, he said, so many people in this country who are suffering, he said, 60 million people suffer from some kind of mental health, whether it's depression, or bipolar, or whatever. And he said, we could get start, we could start getting some things done if we, as a community, who maybe we are suffering ourselves, or maybe we know someone who is suffering. But the only reason the only way that change will happen in the in mental health in our country, in our communities, is if we become active in voicing, our desire for change for the need for support in this area is so important. I mean, I think that it's again, because of the Internet, it's so prevalent today, it's so, we can easily find all these instances where mental health is a problem today and it feels like there's nothing being done about it. And he said, actually, that there are less, there are less support groups today. There are less college psychiatrists today. There are less therapists today than there were, I don't actually know when the stats are, but in recent years, he said it's on a decline. Yeah. And, you know, a lot of that has to do with the business behind health care in our country. Right? The fact that the insurance companies make it really challenging to get coverage for these things and Lesley Logan 28:43  They make it so challenging that the therapist can't make a living off of it. They don't take it anymore. So like,Brad Crowell 28:50  Otherwise, you're looking at paying out a couple hundred bucks a session. 300 bucks a session.Lesley Logan 28:54  Oh, my God, it's yeah, no, no, it's it's insane. And I don't fault the therapist for not taking insurance because like, I know how hard, in the United States, I know how difficult it is to get paid from insurance companies. You're waiting months. Yeah. And they bring it down to nothing. And so people have bills to pay. And it just needs to be some. That's a whole other topic. At any rate, I there are, what is amazing is there are look in your community. There are some support groups that are out there, it's, you're to find them. But like, you know, I know in Las Vegas, there's different support groups that are based off for different types of people. And there are charities that want to help you there are so you know if you are the person supporting someone who has is mentally ill, I think you know, use your Internet. Thank God we have it.Brad Crowell 29:46  Yeah, I definitely like completely sidetracked and took over your Be It point.Lesley Logan 29:51  Yeah, it's okay. I'm gonna go into it. Brad Crowell 29:52  Well, well, you know, I think we can just you already talked about find in the Internet. He mentioned a company or an organization called NAMI, N-A-M-I, so, you know, find that website, and they have resources and tools on there for those who are suffering from mental health. And then also, you know, he talked about calling your congressperson. So to be quite honest, I mean, that is the easiest possible thing.Lesley Logan 30:18  Everybody, you know, call your congressman, we have a phone number, because there's a, there's a sweatshirt you can buy off Cricut media called call your congressperson. I think it's 222Brad Crowell 30:29  202-224-3121. And we'll put that in the show notes. 202-224-3121. And you can call them and you can tell them, hey, I live in this state, this is my zip code, and they will connect you with your congressperson. And you can just leave them a voicemail, you'll almost never get someone on the phone, you just leave them a voicemail, and you say, hi, you know, my name is this is my zip code and I really, really, really care about mental health. And I think that you, as my congressperson should be fighting on behalf of mental health. And you just need to tell them that that is literally what all you you need to do is call them and just leave that voicemail.Lesley Logan 31:06  And if you live in a different country, I don't know how to have your person's number for you, but I'm sure that's on the Internet as well. And they work for you. Whether you get to vote for them or not. They're supposed to work for you. So you call them you find a way to email them, things like that. Lastly, I just want to say he mentioned that the stigma against mental health in this world is terrible. Specific, it really frickin is I was so, so so proud of my dad the other day, we're driving the car. And we're talking about homelessness. And he said, well, most of them are mentally ill. And I was like, you're right. Thank you. They are. Like they're not like, you're I think people look at homeless people. And they're just like, they should just pull it up from their bootstraps. They could there's a job, there's jobs out there you should get them. Y'all you have to have a physical address for resume. You do. Period. You have to have physical address to get your money from the VA system, you have to have a physical addresses, PO Boxes don't work. Brad Crowell 31:07  So if just if I'm sure none of you have been following along, but I've been supporting a homeless family now for five years, I think, four, four or five years. Yeah, they just finally got an address. Finally. Lesley Logan 32:18  Yeah, so So can you just when you see people who are talking crazy on the sidewalk, I know it scares you. I know it makes you fearful, I know you want to turn away, we have got to stop. Other-ising people who have mental health issues. Because it is a prevalent problem in this country. It's prevalent in this world, there is help out there for the people, for people who can afford it or have access to it. And if you are at all able to make a phone call to your congressman person, please do. And if you've got someone in your life, who's got issues that need support, do not stop until you find them support, because we have to stop, we have to stop making it like they're weirdos. They're not. They're human beings who have hormone imbalance who have a genetic thing. Brad Crowell 33:12  Chemical imbalance.Lesley Logan 33:13  Like, like it's so easy for this all to happen. And you also know what you might be depressed one day. So at any rate, this whole episode was not supposed to be done on a like a low note, my whole point of doing this is like I have seen what mental health issues in my own family have done to my own family and how they can tear people apart or make or strain relationships I have seen we lived in L.A. and we saw the effects of mental health that was unsupported. And I feel I am very, I'm very grateful for how that well this podcast is doing and I wanted to provide a story from someone who has who has actually suffered is suffering from it, who is actually doing amazing things and he's got a great book to help you. If you don't even understand what it's like to have mental health issues, the empathy that you could have after you read this book could be what you need to help you support other people. Brad Crowell 34:10  Yeah, in fact, I think that's a perfect way to to end this. I'm actually going to read you the just the byline on this book here. From [Steve] the title the book is called teetering on a Tightrope: My Bipolar Journey he wrote in 2022. He said, as an energetic normal boy of nine, Stephen W. Wilson would not have guessed that the most horrifying day of his life was lurking just months ahead. From that terrifying day when he was at the theater to a suicide to his suicidal ideations. His attempt to kill his father and his subsequent hospitalization, Teetering on a Tightrope sweeps the reader headlong into the abyss of bipolar disorder. Wilson propels the reader into his sometimes out-of-control mind, inability to perform sexually and overwhelming anger. Despite all that Steven Wilson gushes about the monumental times when he was in a state of normalcy and could enjoy life's golden moments, all centered around his family and his friends. Teetering On a Tightrope shows that those who suffer from bipolar disorder can experience a full and productive life. So there is hope.Lesley Logan 35:17  I'm Lesley Logan. Brad Crowell 35:18  And I'm Brad Crowell. Lesley Logan 35:18  Thank you so much for joining us today. You are amazing. And we are so grateful for you. How are you going to use these tips in your life, we want to know. Tag the Be It Pod, send us your questions, shoot us a friend who needs it. And until next time, Be It Till You See It. Brad Crowell 35:31  Bye for now. Lesley Logan 35:33  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Lesley Logan 36:00  Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @Be It Pod.Brad Crowell 36:15  It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell. Lesley Logan 36:20  It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at disenyo.co. Brad Crowell 36:25  Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music, and our branding by designer and artist Gianfranco Cioffi. Lesley Logan 36:32  Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals. Brad Crowell 36:35  Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time. Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/be-it-till-you-see-it/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Ready to relax? In this video I tried to have little to no mouth sounds and create a more pure unintelligible whisper for you. I hope you enjoy it :) #asmr #gentlewhispering #inaudible --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/maria-gentlewhispering/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/maria-gentlewhispering/support