Large Marge Sent Us

This week the Sweeties have been melting slowly thanks to the intense heat wave hitting the east coast this week. To celebrate the official start of summer and comisserate on this heat, we decided to watch 1998's summer blockbuster--Armageddon. Wow is this movie nuts or what? We have thoughts, we have memories, and we wish we never had to hear Aerosmith's "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" ever again! Join us as we rip apart the science, expose Ben Affleck's original Chiclet style teeth, and only sing the damn song once. Happy summer to all!

This week we're covering the Fifth Element! A kooky but fun Sci-Fi adventure starring the one and only Mr. Brucey Willis. This episode is a first for us--watching the movie then doing the podcast 3 weeks later! Whoopsies. We may have forgotten the plot, but we will never forget LeeLoo's bad orange dye job or the creepy brown blood trail oozing down Gary Oldman's face. And thanks to this movie, we're kicking off an unofficial Bruce Willis month. Everybody wins! Stay tuned next time for Armageddon 

Hey hey! It's been a nice 2 month break following the birth of Sweeti Jr.  but we're back and ready to bring you the important discussions you've all been craving. This week we're jumping into the 80s pop culture revolution that was Punky Brewster. An adorable show about the coolest girl to ever live who has a cute dog named Brandon and who lives with a sweet old man photographer/office manager named Henry. Both Sweeties agree, this might just have to be our new show we binge--it's that cozy. Join us as we break down the pilot (a 3 part episode arc!), Cheaters Never Win and Sweetie's all time number 1 memory: Cherrie Lifesaver--about that time Cherrie hid in an old refridgerator and almost died! 

It's the miracle of miracles! The Abyss is finally available to stream! Though it's not technically a baby movie, it does talk about how we breathe in water for 9 months and we're fine, so we're counting this one don't worry. Join us as we talk about James Cameron's water obsession, why submarine's are the worst, and why lab rats are less terrifying than street rats. This might be our last ep before Sweeti Jr. makes his arrival, so we'll see you on the otherside!     

It's almost time for us to meet Sweeti Jr! Sweetie will be giving birth to the latest member of the Sweetie Club any day now, so we decided to prepare by watching some classic movies about babies. First up, the sequel to the hit 80s flick Honey, I Shrunk the Kids----Honey, I Blew Up the Kid!  Following the Szalinski's to Las Vegas, this sequel introduces 2 year old Adam who accidentally gets in the way of Dad's new enlarging laser at the lab and turns into a giant baby that takes over Vegas. While this one doesn't hold a candle to the OG, the Sweeties were touched by how much they could relate to the toddler moments. Plus, how can we ever hate one of our number one sweeties Rick Moranis!? 

It's a new year but same old Sweeties. Join us as we dive into one of the worst movies ever made--Batman and Robin! Following the much better received Batman Forever, Batman and Robin replaces Val with George but keeps around whiny Chris O'Donnell as Robin. This movie is a hot mess ya'll. From the endless ice puns, to the weird accent work of Uma, to the sky high stilettos they stick Alicia Silverstone in---what's not to hate? 

We did it! We hit our goal of 2 Christmas movies this year. Oh, how times have changed. With our final selection, we're bringing you one of our least favorite characters---Ernest, in the holiday classic: Ernest Saves Christmas.  In a true Christmas miracle however, we both decided this was pretty sweet and probably the least Ernesty of all the Ernest movies (we assume).  Also, very exciting announcement that Sweetie Jr. makes her very first podcasting debut in this episode, you don't want to miss it! Happy Holidays from the Sweetie Club!

Happy Holidays from the Sweeties! This year we're hoping to cover two Christmas movies and we're starting off with Rudolph! This gem from 1964, is in a lot of people's childhood memory banks. We were always afraid of it because the puppets seemed creepy and old though? This year however, we're facing our puppet fears and finally checking it out. So, join us for a rousing discussion about all the interesting choices they made including: Why Hermy wanted to be a dentist, Rudolph is Donner's son.... WHAT?! and most importantly---Why is Santa such. a. DICK?! 

This week, the Sweeties are tackling one of Sweety's fave movies from her days of being a moody creative teenager---Donnie Darko! Taking place in 1988, Donnie Darko involves a 'troubled' hottie named Donnie Darko who meets a bunny rabbit named Frank and then time travels or something. While we admit, we do not get much of the movie--we can't deny how groundbreaking this film was during a time when teens were fed high doses of Bring It On and  Legally Blonde. Join us as we discuss Sweety's brief crush on Jake Gyllenhaal, and be there as we try to remember which T. Swift song was about him. 

And so our journey through Spooky Month comes to a close with our final pick--Bride of Boogedy! A follow up to the 1986 classic, Mr Boogedy, Bride of Boogedy focuses again on the Davis family as they try to make their way in the quaint New England town of Lucifer Falls and are faced yet again with Mr. Boogedy and all his BS. This time, the guy needs a wife so he'll stop at nothing to find his bride and take her to the underworld. Coming in at an hour and half compared the original's 45 minutes running time, we had some trouble staying awake at times but overall found this flick to be good spooky fun. Also starring Eugene Levy (!) this movie had us questioning a lot including: Why is this town obsessed with creepy pilgrim attire? Who goes to sleep in Pippy Longstocking style pig tails? And why do we still have wax museums? Happy Halloween Sweeties!

Spooky season continues now with a TV movie theme! This week we're covering Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen's 1993 classic: Double, Double Toil and Trouble. Though not about to win any acting Oscars, this flick provides some harmless, authentic Halloween atmosphere and some pretty rad bad witch energy from Cloris Leachman. Join us as we reminsince about Halloween parties, discuss MK+A's music 'hits', and complain about bobbing for apples. Stay Spooky Sweeties!

Happy Spooky Season!! We're kicking off this most spooky of months with the Disney Original movie classic Halloweentown! Starring cute as a button Debbie Reynolds, this TV movie is....yeah it's not great but it's got nostalgia pouring out of its bones. Join us as we dive into the complexities of the different creatures running amok in town, why or how a ghost can sweat, and finally---was Sophie actually the only real witch of the 3 kids? Probably! We also get into some fun rehashing of Trick or Treating urban legends and talk about how we're pretty sure it's impossible to put a razorblade in an apple. Happy Halloween!

The Sweeties are back! (again!) I know we're a broken record but this time it was for good reason as we announced today the upcoming birth of a new Sweetie boy joining the family! Will he be called Sweetie II? Sweeti Jr? Sweetee? Only time will tell. Today however, we watched Toy Soldiers from 1991--a movie often confused with Small Soldiers (which is actually about toys), which takes place in a prep school that has been overtaken by Colombian drug terrorists. Following the classic 90s trope of giving kids way too many responsibilities for their own good, this movie features one of our faves: Sean Astin aka grown up Mikey from the Goonies as bad boy Billy and his posse of fellow bad boys. After a Colombian drug lord's son takes over the school, the boys must band together to save the day. Packed with action, boys in underwear, phone sex lines, and what can be classified as a pretty "cushy" hostage situation, this movie really delivers some thrills. Come join us as we talk about spotting our favorite 90s things (RIP Radio Shack!), and ask the hard hitting questions that have been plaguing us for years like: "Do boys really hang out in their underwear?" "Do kids in college today still put up posters?" We missed you! Come hang out with your Sweeties.

We're baaaaaaack! The Sweeties took a mini summer hiatus as life got crazy---but we're back and ready to kick some podcasting butt. First up we give tribute to Paul Rubens who sadly passed away after a private battle with cancer. We love you Paul and we owe this all to you and Large Marge, RIP!  For this week's flick, we're hitting up the Freelings to see how they're doing in Poltergeist II: The Otherside. Woof you guys. This movie is not good, but we have to give it credit for scaring the living daylights out of every kid who watched this when they were little and experienced the Reverend Kane. Though we feel it cheapens the first movie, and gives way too much information that no one needed--it still has that PG-13 horror movie charm that we sometimes love. Hands up if you always looked for the tequila worm at the liquor store!

Do Do Do Do Do Do Do, Do Do Do Do Do Do Do, Do Do Do Do Do Do Do Dooooooooo. Beverly Hills Cop, from 1984 and starring Eddie Murphy, became an 80s phemonenon and continued the comedian skyrocket to total domination. Part action, part comedy, part buddy cop film and throw in a fish out of water theme - and you have a really fun romp where it's impossible not to laugh at the stuff that Axel Foley gets into, nevermind all the voices and characters he pulls out of his Detroit cop butt.  We have actually never seen this movie and are sort of mad we never seemed to stumbled onto it on TV or anything in our 36 and 40 years of life because it's damn funny! We talk about Eddie Murphy's laugh, ponder about what really happens if you put a banana in someone's exhaust pipe, and cry about how there is legit one woman in this movie. What gives?!     

If you grew up in the 1990s and had the Disney Channel you most definitely caught one of the better Disney original movies - Not Quite Human, which spawned two sequels (ooo a trilogy!) - and made us really invested in the life of Chip, the Android! Played by Jay Underwood, known to us only as Bug from Uncle Buck and also starring Alan Thicke (RIP best dad ever) and Robin Lively (Teen Witch - top that!), Not Quite Human is all about androids and is basically the 1980s meets the story of Pinocchio. Jonas Carson creates a life like teenage boy android and wants to see if with continued exposure to human kind, a robot can become more human.   So he sends Chip off to school, has him interact with kids his own age, and tries to teach him the wild ride that is the English language. So many expressions and euphemisms we have! Meanwhile, some crazy businessman is trying to steal Chip to sell his android technology to defense contractors.  But really this movie is all about literal comedy and what happens when an android gets dropped into the teenage years - with bullies, girls, and barf burgers to contend with.  We talk about AI and how the 80s thought they were so close to having it with all that busted technology, how Jay Underwood deserves a B list Oscar for this performance, and talk a bit about the sequels where Chip goes to college and Dr. Carson gets an android of himself! 

Do you ever wonder, what could happen under, under an umbrella tree? Under the Umbrella Tree, the adorable people + puppets Canadian show that ran on Disney from 1990 - 1997 was a must watch in our household! We loved watching the roommate hijinks of Gloria Gopher, Iggy Iguana, Jacob Bluejay and Holly! We thought it would be fun to re-watch a couple episodes (most available on YouTube) and see if it still brought us cozy kid vibes. This show is so sweet and we're always here for those people and anthropomorphic animals romps but we had some questions! What's going on with Holly's wardrobe? How old are the animal roommates supposed to be? And why would Holly put up with roommates who don't pay rent, cook, clean orrrrr do anything but invite their chickadee friends over for lunch!?!! 

1980's Caddyshack was Harold Ramis' directorial debut! Go Harold! Featuring a slew of funny dudes, lots of improvisational comedy, and a Baby Ruth mistaken for a turd, Caddyshack is considered to be one of the funniest movies to come out of the 80s.  We really had never seen it - but man do a lot of guys (and some girls!) talk about it a lot.  Is it the plethora of one liners? Golf? Gratuitous boobies? We'll never know.  But this movie has its moments and we chuckled along throughout most of the crazy shenganigans that goes on.  We talk all about the comedically gifted but rumored asshole to work with qualities of Chevy Chase and Bill Murray, the danger of 10 speed bicycles, and how the Baby Ruth candy bar certainly had a moment in the 1980s but now who eats 'em??? 

The year before Y2K, just as we were all getting ready for the world to end but also sort of loving the new technology that seemed to be streaming our way at lightening speed, The Matrix was released and boy did that F a lot of people up! Starring Keanu Reeves, Carrie Anne Moss and Laurence Fishburn, and a brand new cinematic technology called Bullet Speed. Whoaaaaaa. We didn't see this movie in theaters when it came out (not the biggest sci fi fans) but certainly remember the to-do it caused and spoofs it spawned.  Watching it nearly 25 years later, and the flick holds up and we're still concerned ... are we just all in The Matrix guys??? We talk about other past big deal film technologies that we've been lucky enough to be alive for (still waiting for 3-D to really be cool!), continue to wax on about how Keanu is the greatest human alive, and how Joe Pantoliano aka Matrix Mole aka Frances Fratelli just always plays a bad slimey dude.  Would you take the blue pill or red pill???

This one goes out to our mom, Carol, who loved Romancing the Stone - an action adventure romantic comedy from 1984 starring Kathleen Turner and Michael Douglas. Come to find out, we like these movies now too now that we're in our mid to late 30s and it's directed by our pal, Robert Zemeckis or Bobby Z if you've listened to some of our past episodes on Back to the Future or Forrest Gump.  Romancing the Stone (weird title, we'll go into it) follows Joan Wilder, romance novel/cat lady who longs for a real life romance, not just one to write about.  She finds it when she has to high tail it to Colombia to save her sister from some sketchy dudes who have kidnapped her in the hope that she has a map her dead (murdered? details are foggy) husband had that will lead to lost gemstone.  Joan ends up with the map, goes to Colombia and on the way meets Jack T. Colton aka hot guy with a gun and problems buttoning his shirt all the way - who helps her in more ways then one, *wink wink.  We'll talk about rom coms geared towards middle aged women in the 80s, how travel was so so different way back when and is Michael Douglas hot or does he look like a rat? Weigh in please on this burning question. 

Welcome to Good Burger, home of the Good Burger. Can I take your order?! 1997 brought us this silly little spin-off from everyone's favorite kid's sketch comedy show, All That. Good Burger is all about Ed, a kind hearted, yet dim witted fast food employee who is not that great at his job or being able to take things not literally, but dang we sure do love him.  He soon meets Dexter, who needs to earn mega money during summer vacation to fix his teacher's car, which he side swiped while illegally driving his mom's car.  When Mondo Burger, a giant corporate like fast food joint moves across from sweet little mom and pop Good Burger and threatens to put them out of business with their collosal burgers, Ed and Dexter figure out a way to keep Good Burger in business involving a secret sauce.  Cue very intense Mondo Burger villian Kurt who will do anything to make sure Good Burger doesn't succeed, a trip to a mental hospital, and some exploding burgers to round out this gem.  We miss this kind of silly kid humor and Sweety remembers fondly all the lines she used to quote from this movie.  We'll talk about what an incredible cast this movie has, try to figure out what's in the secret Ed sauce, and find ourselves singing way too many times ... "He's a dude. She's a dude. We're all dudes." 

1994 brought us My Father the Hero, a really inappropriate movie about trying to make a hot guy jealous by pretending your father is your boyfriend, a movie plot that could only come from one place ... France! That's right - this American remake of Mon Pere Ce Heros - stars Gerard Depardieu, the Frenchman Du Jour of the 80s and 90s and Katherine Heigl, very pre Grey's Anatomy as she looks like a tiny baby!  The plot is ridiculous but stay for the epic soundtrack by the Baha Men of Who Let The Dog's Out Fame (and we couldn't stop singing THAT all episode, let me tell you), Nikki's cute wardrobe and inside out French braid, and try to stop your brain from doing mental gymnastics wondering how a movie like this gets made! Guy incorrectly and unbeknowst to him, outed as a  pedophile by his teenage daughter just so she can score a makeout sesh with a hot dude?! Cue the hilarity! Bonus - best thing we learned all week, The Baha Men are named the Baha Men because they are from the BAHA-mas! WHOA.

We finally watched Mannequin! Man, has this 1987 CLASSIC been tough to find but the Egyptian gods were on our side this week (also known as HBO Max) and we were able to view this kooky movie about a Jonathan Switcher, a struggling artist who can't hold down a decent job! However, turns out this mannequin he sculpted (?) is actually a hot Egyptian woman named Emmy who is traveling through time looking for the love of her life! Funny thing is, only Jonathan can see her alive. Jonathan and Emmy get into some hijinks, there's a great silly montage, and they also create really cool window displays for the department store Emmy's mannequin self models in.  Rival department store and Jonathan's ex girlfriend get jealous, Emmy almost gets chopped to bits. Oops, did I say too much? This movie is peak 80s hilarity, but also somewhat heart warming if you toss aside all the female objectivity and sexual harrassment as a cool, funny joke! We talk about how mannequins are really hard to come by these days, our fond memories when department stores were queen, and how Kim Cattrall kills it in whatever she does. 

From 1985, Desperately Seeking Susan is an kooky 80s romp featuring the likes of Madonna, and who doesn't love a movie with Madonna in it? Madonna plays Susan, a sassy bitch living the vagabond lifestyle in NYC, who communicates to her once in awhile boyfriend Jimmy through the personal ads of the newspaper.  Roberta Glass is your classic bored housewife, looking for something more than laundry and coke fueled cocktail parties and she finds it stalking the personal ads and the messages left for for a "Deseprately Seeking Susan".  Mix in some stolen Neferitti earrings, a cool jacket worn by Jimi Hendricks, a case of amnesia, and some really bad magic tricks and you got what is essentially the plot of this movie.  Make sense? Yeah, we didn't think so! This move is REALLY 80s.  Lots of bad hair, scary New York City, massive amount of jewelry, outlandish headbands, and of course Tab.  We'll talk about how much we love Lori Metcalf (and totally forgot she was also Marcy in Uncle Buck), wax nostalgic about how you used to get everything in the paper, and talk about Madonna, Madonna, Madonna! 

Annnd we're back! Okay we realize we say that almost every episode now but we ARE HERE FOR YOU, we swear. Starting out small this week with an episode about many a 90s kids fav TV show, Hey Dude! Hey Dude aired on Nickelodeon from 1989 to 1991 - 65 episodes of teenagers having high jinks on the Bar None Ranch! I'm sure we caught this in syndication a lot after it's cancellation and it just felt like a weekend watch staple for many of us. Who had a crush on Ted? Were you a Melody or a Brad? How annoying was Mr. Ernst?!! Nickelodeon had some great live action shows in the early 90s and I just don't think it's ever approached that level of greatness since.  We'll talk about how this is basically Saved by the Bell, Western Style, how Sweetie wanted to be Brad SO BAD, and how our main memory of this show is the epic french braids with poufy bangs the girls wore nearly episode. Plus, we try to get to the bottom of the rumors of the missing Joe Torres aka Danny.  

The holiday season is upon us once again! This week we watched 1989's Prancer, a too real Christmas story that may or may not end in reindeer suicide?! Prancer follows the Christmas season in a small town in Michigan and centers around Jessica Riggs, a precocious 8 year old who lives on an apple farm with her really mean Dad, brother and has just lost her mother to an undisclosed illness. She still loves Christmas though and is pleasantly suprised to encounter a reindeer in the woods one day who seems to have been injured by a hunter's bullet. Is this Prancer aka one of Santa's reindeer?! Various shenanigans ensue and her love of Christmas and belief in all thing Santa inspires the entire town, including her bad dad, and blah blah blah Merry Christmas! We were divided on this one - one of us felt this was warm, cozy, and sweet and the other felt it was depressing and sad! What a toss up! We'll talk about our past memories of Christmas pageants, who are favorite reindeer is, and talk about the true star of this movie, Carol Wetherby's insane mullet! 

Happy Halloween! Our last spooky pick for this month takes us back to 1999 with The Blair Witch Project! Who wasn't duped into thinking this found footage documentary style horror movie was real slash didn't know that shaky camera work and dolls made out of sticks could be really, really scary?! What a time, what a time! We'll talk about if this movie is still scary, how it was cool to smoke in the 1990s, and how will we ever be tricked into thinking a fictional piece of work is actually true life ever again? 

Continuing on our journey into the Spookyville, this week we watched Escape to Witch Mountain from 1975.  Kids with spooky powers is the theme of this Disney movie - telekinesis, mind reading, telepathy - as we follow orphans Tony and Tia Malone on a journey with many old man friends, to find the answer behind their strange powers. Where are they from? Why does Tony need to play a harmonica to make things levivate? Why does Tia carry around that cool star purse? All questions that are mostly answered though to be honest we were underwhelmed that they were just ... SPOILER ALERT ...  aliens and not some cool pint sized witches! We talk about 70s era Disney post the death of Walt Disney and how they tried to do some wacky shit, the terrible sci fi effects, and why are there so many old men in this? 

It's spooooooky month and we decided to watch one of the most successful spooky sequels, Scream 2! Coming hot off the heels of the original (just 1 year later!), we find Sydney Prescott at college, trying to leave the Woodsboro murders and the memory of her crazy psycho boyfriend behind her, even with the Hollywood version of her story now a major motion picture. But there is a copy cat killer running amok and Dewey, Gail Weathers, and Randy all try to help her (and stay alive) while the body count starts piling up.  We talk about how legit EVERYONE is in this movie (even characters from the first who DIED have cameos?!), how it really seems like everybody dies in this one (brutal and poor Syd!), and how Syd continues to be one bad ass bitch even with all that past trauma! Also, what kind of a name is Cotton Weary?!!

As I walk through the valley in the shadow of death ...  RIP to Coolio who died last week at the gone too soon age of 59! We'll miss him but continue to jam out to Gangsta's Paradise on the reg and so thought it would be fitting to watch Dangerous Minds this week! From 1995 and starring the gorg Michelle Pfeiffer, Dangerous Minds felt like a movie all the cool kids were watching what with the killer soundtrack and look at the gritty life of kids from the projects in LA and it fell into the popular cinematic theme of teacher saves "bad" kids which Hollywood loves! Well turns out these kids weren't that dangerous at all - and we were slightly underwhelmed! Where were the drugs? The guns? Sure, one kid got shot by a gang member and there was a preggo team but come on ... dangerous? We talk about how the real danger in this movie is the chain smoking - eek cigarettes are so 90s!, who are favorite troubled teen is (Team Raul!) and how we're glad they decided not to use the same title for the movie as the book this is based on - My Posse Doesn't Do Homework. Ouch. 

As part of Sequel September, we're covering the second installment in The Karate Kid franchise ... Part II! From 1986, this movie picks up right where the first movie left off, yes that's right -  in the boy's locker room! Danielson is fresh off the mats after crane kicking the shit out of Johnny Lawrence! However, Part II takes us on a journey to Okinawa, to wade through a love triangle Mr. Miyagi left behind 40 years ago! Lucky us! So this movie is a bit quieter than the other two in the franchise and has a bit lesson action (though it does have a typhoon!), but pretty much the same amount of Danielson getting his ass whooped by karate assholes and another tricky move by Mr. Miyagi (ooo the drum!). We'll talk a lot about Cobra Kai and the character reversal good old Chozen gets, induct Danielson into the Sweetie Club once and for all, and come to the conclusion that Mr. Miyagi's brand of karate should be called "How To Dupe Some Kid To Do Your Household Chores".  

1989's All Dogs Go To Heaven deals with the oh so important subject of canine mortality! Sweety loved this movie so much when she was little and ... we're not really sure why? Sure, she loved dogs.  Or maybe she was really into the mob, because essentially this movie is a thinly veiled mob tale about gambling addicts, double crossers, and horse race fixing - but they are dogs so it's way less seedy.  There's a couple catchy songs  - You Can't Keep a Good Dog Down! - and a really scary scene involving dog hell that made us pee our nearly 40 year old pants.  We'll talk about if we think all cats go to heaven (doubtful in this cat hating world!), how cartoon pizza continues to gross us out, and rehash some beloved memories of our family dogs who left us all so long ago - Nikki and Sunny. 

According to some, Fast Times at Ridgemont High is the 1980's titular (hehe, pun intended!) high school film.  Directed by Amy Heckerling and written by Cameron Crowe, the movie follows the lives of a handful of CA high school students as they navigate the tricky waters of mean teachers, shitty jobs, losing your V-card, and scalping Van Halen tickets.  Life is hard, man! The movie is known for a certain red bikini dream/masturbation scene and of course for creating everyone's favorite stoner (pre Travis Birkenstock) Jeff Spicoli.  The Sweeties had never seen this movie and glad we finally have! We'll talk about carrot blow jobs, what kind of school takes their bio classes to a morgue, and Jeff Spicoli's cool checkered Vans (and piss poor attitude in regards to school and other people's cars!). And wait, Nicholas Cage is in this?!! 

Go Go Power Rangers! After the mega success of the TV show in 1993, the powers that be (Zordon?) decided we all needed a Power Ranger movie, thus The Mighty Morphin Power Rangers Movie was born and we saw Kimberly, Aisha, Tommy, Adam, Billy, and Rocky flip for us 10,000 more times on the big screen! Really this is just a long drawn out tv episode where a new baddie (Ivan Ooze!) comes to town to destroy human civilization and it's up to the Power Rangers and their nifty animal/bot alter egos to save the day! Sweety was obsessed with this show as a kid and had a biiiig ladyboner for all things Yellow Ranger! We'll talk about why we think kids loved this show so goddamned much, how we liked that this illustrated to little girls that women can kick ass (though sadly the damsel in distress act was still relied on heavily!), and we discuss what your choice of Power Ranger says about your personality.  And we were today years old when learned that Ivan Ooze was played by the same actor who played Belloq in Raider's of the Lost Ark! What a career! 

Say Anything, writer/director Cameron Crowe's first movie from 1989 should really be called How to Break Up With Your Dad, becuase holy hella emotional incest! Despite all this, Say Anything is a super cute movie, and dare we say it, an anti-80s high school movie. All the kids are so nice! No one gets beat up (okay maybe Lloyd in the kick boxing ring?). Maybe because it takes place in Seattle? We don't know! But we do know we love Lloyd Dobbler and would date him in a second, what a sweetie! We'll talk about the infamous radio over the head playing Peter Gabriel scene (let down!), how we loved that Lloyd only had friends that were girls, and if we think they made it. Sweetie had a bit of a cough for this one, so sorry for all the lung hacking.  Blame it on daycare, yeah yeah. 

It's been TOO long since we talked about Star Wars so we thought we were ready to finally talk about the oft dreaded prequels! So here we are with The Phantom Menace! From 1999, we remember the world being crazy excited for these movies. Coming off the heels of the Stars Wars Episodes IV-VI re release in 1997, we had high hopes for these but let's just say George Lucas went a little bit overboard with the CGI, leaving many to claim, where was the Star Wars universe we knew and loved? Well with tons of time gone by (23 years, jesus christ!), we've learned this movie ain't half bad! Sure, Jar Jar has got to GO, the plot is sort of a snoooooze (trade federation, blockade, waaaaat?!), and little Annakin is cheeseball city, but we enjoyed ourselves! Ya got crazy siths, evil double red light sabers, and Queen Amidala's crazy do's. What's not to love? 

We were in the mood for a Madonna movie, so went with 1990's Dick Tracy. Starring and directed by Warren Beatty it features Madonna as Breathless Mahoney, a sultry red lipped lounge singer, an over the top Al Pacino doing what he does best mobster extraordinaire, and lots of vivid colors and crazy makeup to make all the gangsters in this 1930s era romp looked pretty gnarly and mean. It also feels like a mini musical with the injection of a few original songs by Stephen Sondheim. We struggled with the plot on this one, so apologies in advance, but mobster movies, ooof confusinggggg.  We'll talk about those Warren Beatty lothario rumors (13,000 sexual partners, oh boy!), Sweetie maybe retells an anecdote about being disappointed by Al Capone's Pizza, and we try to play the "What Would Your Mobster Name Be?", but are sorely disappointed with the results.

Tonight we watched Ferngully, the animated classic that taught us all about SAVING THE RAINFORESTS.  Whatever happpened to the rainforests, guys? Are they okay? We liked these non-Disney cartoons enough, but really feel that they just miss the mark slightly in terms of their character building, song choice and plot pacing! We'll talk about all the save the earth stuff we were bombarded with as kids, agree that Robin Williams as Batty Koda is like Genie Light, and profess our undying love for Tim Curry and his wonderful voice! 

Happy 39th Birthday to Sweetie! In celebration, we watched a slew of 80s cartoons and discovered that we are JEM girls all the way! We watched My Little Pony, Jem and the Hollograms and She-ra Princess of Power and it felt like being wrapped in a big old blanket of nostalgia! We'll discuss all the fun action figures that went along with these cartoons (we had LOTS of MLPs) get confused about what the hell kind of world She-ra is living in, and try to pronouce the really weird names they cooked up for the My Little Pony baddies. Tireck? Scarpan? Who was in charge here?!

And you thought we were done with mean girl movies ... time for Jawbreaker! From 1999, Jawbreaker is essentially the 90s version of Heathers as it's another dark comedy centered around the drama of high school popularity and, welp, MURDER. Starring Rose McGowan, Rebecca Gayheart and Judy Greer and hey, is that Kenicki from Grease as somebody's dad?!! We'll talk about the unfortunate sitch that is Courtney's prom dress, talk about the history of the  jawbreaker candy, and ewww Marilyn Manson is in this! That's so 90s.  

Mean girl movie time! This week we watched Heathers, the cult classic from 1988 starring Winona Ryder, Christian Slater and ... a lot of characters named Heather! This movie takes a dark, albeit comedic look at teen suicide and bullying and made us think - wow this movie could never be made now post Columbine.  High school is a really f-ed up time for a lot of us, and the 80s depictions of it just seems so ... non chalant.  We'll talk about how Sweetie's celeb lookalike for awhile was Winona Ryder and she's very okay about it now, Cliff Notes, and talk about some other mean girl movies that we like. 

Time for that early 80s, raunchy classic - Porky's! So while this movie is totes made for high school aged boys and deals with probably more "isms" than any other movie - sexism, racism, antisemitism, small penis-ism - we still find it pretty funny.  Directed by the same guy (Bob Clark) who brought us Ralphie and his Red Rider bb gun, we'll talk about how this is a 100% scandalous, watch during a sleepover kind of movie, try to find out if girls giggling naked in communal showers are just an adolescent boy urban legend, and hey look it's Samantha from Sex in the City! 

The Rescue, from 1988, is Sweetie's favorite "kids to the rescue" movie from her childhood! Okay mayyyybe this movie is a touch unrealistic - like is it really that easy to motorboat across an ocean into a police state like that? But it's hella fun (giant waterslide! spy stuff! evil North Koreans!). And look Farmer Hoggett is in this! We'll talk about how we feel bad for Kevin Dillon, what we remember about war from our childhood, and talk about how the lone girl in this movie is given nothing to do. Typical patriarchal bullshit! 

In honor of St. Paddy's Day we decided to watch Leprechaun, the 1993 horror comedy that has since become a cult classic and has spawned oodles of sequels! Probably best known for being Jennifer Aniston's first feature film, Leprechaun features Warwick Davis (Wicket from Star Wars, Willow in ... Willow) as a really evil leprechaun who seems to have forgotten about the leprechaun rules and is hell bent on inflicting a lot pain on anyone who steals his gold. Much to our surprise, this movie was super entertaining in the way only campy horrow movies can be! We'll talk about how Wayne's World 2 put this movie on the map for us, how much we love good bad horror movies, and talk all about fun 90s sneakers like LA Gear's and Reebok Pump It Ups.  

Time for another classic Disney romp! This week we watched Robin Hood - from the 70s era of Disney cartoons and wooohoo this movie is as cute as a button! Robin Hood features a foxy fox as the rob from the rich, steal from the poor swashbuckler and a host of other animals to stand in for Little John (okay is that you Baloo?), Maid Marion, Prince John, Friar Tuck and the Sheriff of Nottingham.  We'll talk about how much we love Sir Hiss, list other hot animal cartoon characters and discuss if Robin Hood was real or not? Plus what animal would we want to be in an anthropomorphic world? 

Holy shnikes! Last night we watched Tommy Boy, the film that launched Chris Farely to comedic fame and yo this movie is still hilarious in every way possible! Written by the same writing team (Bonnie and Terry Turner) as Wayne's World, Tommy Boy joined about 80 other movies that came out in the mid 90s featuring a former or current SNL cast member - the talent was bananas then.  We love Chris Farely's frantic physical comedy and intense outbursts so much but also the straight guy smarmy sidekick played by David Spade.  We'll talk about those sucky tube things banks used to have, how Chris Farely's insane energy wasn't actually all natural (haha no shit!) and how this movie is strikingly similar to Planes, Trains and Automobiles.  Hmmmm.

I took my troubles down to Madame Ruth ... You know that gypsy with the gold-capped tooth ... She's got a pad down on Thirty-Fourth and Vine ... Sellin' little bottles of Love Potion Number Nine! From 1992 and starring real life couple at the time Tate Donovan and Sandra Bullock, Love Potion No. 9 is about two biochemists who stumble upon a potion that makes whoever drinks it unbelievably atractive to the opposite sex! Chaos ensues! This movie is sort of confusing (trying to explain the science behind love potions hmmmm) a bit light on the rom and the com, and if we have to see a smart Sandra Bullock character with frizzy hair, glasses and an overbite one more time, well we're going to hurl! We'll sing/hum some other songs that were used for movie titles, try to remember who Tate Donovan is, and talk about whether we think Volkswagons are cool or for losers? 

Since we lost Bob Saget last month, we decided it was time for an in depth discussion of our love for Full House, one of the best sitcoms to come out of the 1990s.  We were obsessed with this show as kids and our little Sweety has become a Full House scholar (she graduated from Large Marge Sent Us University or LMSUU) in the last couple of years! We'll talk about why we loved Bob Saget in Full House and in America's Funniest Home Videos, some of our favorite episodes (DJ has an eating disorder for 3 days, Stephanie dances to Motown Philly, Papooie dies), and how we were shocked to learn that one boring looking white guy wrote and performed the theme song to basically every sitcom in the 90s.  Weird! 

As an ode to Sweeti Jimi's last week of paternity leave, we covered Mr. Mom an 80s gender role reversal romp starring Michael Keaton and Teri Garr! Things get all higgledy piggledy when Jack Butler gets laid off from his job and has to stay home with his three kids while his wife takes over the 9-5 responsibilities at a sexist, patriarchal advertising firm. Chaos ensues since for some reason Jack Butler has never used a washing machine, shopped for groceries or driven his kid to school! Written by John Hughes, this movie is big on charm and cute kids and it has been awhile since we'd seen male strippers dressed as astronaunts in metallic g-strings so ... thank you! We talk about car pools, how little Sweetie learned the differnce between being fired and laid off, and how easy it is to get addicted to soap operas. 

We couldn't wait to start off 2022 by watching ... Can't Hardly Wait, a late 90s high school movie that has a pretty crazy ensemble cast, a sweet 90s hits soundtrack, and will give you night sweats thinking about how much you loved your JNCO jeans.  From 1998, Can't Hardly Wait is a party movie centered around the night after graduation when Preston Meyers tries to woo the love of his high school fantasy life Amanda once he finds out she has just broke up with her long term, dick faced boyfriend Mike. Chaos ensues! The beer is bad! And is Barry Manilow's song Amanda really about his dog? We talk about our experience with high school parties, take a deep dive into the band Smash Mouth, and talk about other bands and singers we are now embarrassed that we were into as kids.  Where the party at?!

Merry Christmas from the Sweeties! We're only doing one Christmas movie this year and we picked one we're not too fond of but know a lot of people are obsessed with! From 1983, A Christmas Story was (is?) played all day long on Christmas Day and boy did we hate it! We always felt this movie was schlubby due to its 1940s time period and also couldn't give a fudge about Ralphie and pining away for a bb gun. However, we do understand its place in Christmas cinematic history and how if your family was one of the ones who watched it all day on Christmas, you'd have a nostalgic twinge every time you hear "you'll shoot your eye out kid!". We'll talk about our #1 present coveted on Christmas, why we think this is largely a boy movie, and Sweety does a great impression of if Jack Nicholson played the role of Ralphie's Dad! Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!