Podcasts about Prancer

The one and only Ariana Richards, Lex Murphy from Jurassic Park, joins Vespe and JRT to talk dinosaurs, Graboids, Martians, and even her ludicrous haircut in 1989's Prancer. This is Ariana's very first podcast appearance and she comes loaded for bear, y'all. She has stories about working on all her big movies including Jurassic Park. Hear about how she got noticed by Spielberg in the first place, what it was that set her apart from the other girls who auditioned to play Lex, how Spielberg treated her on set, how scary the animatronics were to work with, and even if she can fill in a couple of big plot holes, like where the hell did that giant drop in the T-Rex paddock sequence come from. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Where can two strippers get a bite to eat on Christmas Eve? By  MelissaBaby. (abridged) Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. “Fuck Christmas,” Clover shouted, “and fuck you, Tony. Fuck Santa Claus, fuck his elves and fuck all ten goddamn reindeers.” “Eight,” Roxanne said, filing her nails and looking at her over the top of her glasses. “Shut up, Roxy, I'm talking about reindeers, not how many cocks you sucked over the weekend.” “Clover, calm down,” Tony said, “It was worth taking a shot.” “Bullshit, I told you nobody goes to a strip club on Christmas Eve.”“She did tell you,” Roxanne said, “Even louder that she's telling you now.” “Look,” he said, shrugging, “I'm sorry, but it wasn't nobody…” “We've had five customers,” Clover said. “And the last one was two hours ago,” Roxanne chimed in, “It's almost ten thirty.” Clover jerked her thumb at Roxanne. “She might look like a doofus wearing that stupid Santa hat, but she's right.” Tony held up his hands, “Okay, it turned out to not be a great idea. You guys are always saying that more customers come in because they are lonely than because they are horny. I figured it would be a lonely night for a lot of guys…” “It might be a great night to be a hooker,” Clover said, “but not a dancer.” He looked at his watch, then over his shoulder at LeAnn, the bartender. “Tell you what,” he told her, “If nobody else comes in before eleven, go ahead and close up.” He started to walk away, but Roxanne called him back. “We paid our club fees, Tony, that isn't right.” He looked up toward the ceiling, as if he were looking for a script to read from. “You want to close and go home early, but you want your club fees refunded because I said we would close and you could go home early?” “No,” Clover said, “We want our club fees refunded because we paid you fifty dollars to dance on a night when you dragged us in here to dance, even though we told you nobody was coming the fuck in.” “Fine,” he said, throwing his hands in the air, “LeAnn, give them back their club fees.” The door opened, and they both groaned, but it was not a customer. Sporty, the Gold Dollar's bouncer, came in. “Speaking of guys you'll fuck,” Clover muttered. When he approached the bar, she said, “Hey Sporty, how come you go out with Roxy? I always heard black guys like girls with nice big asses.” “I always heard strippers were friendly,” he shot back. He sat down next to Roxanne. “Where have you been?” she asked him. “Yeah,” Clover said, “There could have been a brawl in here, between the rats and the cockroaches.” “I was sitting out in my car, listening to some jams.” Clover tipped out and gave LeAnn a big hug, then she and Roxanne walked out to their cars in a light cold rain. “You ain't waiting for Sporty?” Clover asked. “Nope, don't want to talk to him right now. Meet you at the diner.” They each got in their cars. A light coating of slush covered Roxanne's windshield, but the wipers easily pushed it to the side. She pulled out of the parking lot on to the slippery street and drove the mile and a half to their usual after work spot, the Finest Kind Diner, while Clover followed close behind. When she turned into the diner's parking lot she noticed immediately that the lights were turned off, except for a string of colored Christmas bulbs blinking around the front door. Clover thought for a minute. “We could go to Denny's.” “Are they open?” “How the fuck would I know? Call ‘em up.” “Oh, so I have to look up the number?” “I figured it has a man's name, so you would know it.” Roxanne sat back in her seat. “I don't want to drive all the way across town, just to go to Denny's. What else would be open?” “Just White Castle.” Roxanne thought for a minute. “Yeah, what the fuck, let's go to White Castle.” “We ought to just go in one car,” Clover suggested. “Fine. Yours or mine?” “Yours,” Clover said, “Mine is more full of trash than a westside trailer park.” She pulled her car into a parking space, shut it off and got out. “I hate this drizzly shit,” she said as she got into Roxanne's passenger seat. “Hey, don't you live in a westside trailer park?” Roxanne asked. “Yeah, that's why I know what I am talking about.” “Speaking of knowing what you're talking about,” Roxanne said, “Santa Claus has eight reindeer.” “Are you counting Rudolph?” “Nope. Rudolph doesn't count.” “Who decided that?” “Clement Moore.” “Who the fuck is he? Sounds like a baseball player.” “He wrote The Night Before Christmas.” “Twas the night before Christmas,” Clover recited in a sing song voice, “And all through the place, Roxanne was sitting on every guy's face.” “And up from the lawn there arose such a clatter,” Roxanne returned, “As Clover devoured the whole turkey platter.” Clover nodded her head. “That was pretty good,” she admitted. Roxanne was quiet for a moment, then asked, “You wonder though, who the fuck would name a reindeer Blitzen? What is he, a Nazi reindeer?” “I bet Rudolph was originally Adolf the Red Nosed Reindeer and they changed it during the war or something. Hey, what's going on with you and Sporty?” “He wants me to go to his mom's house for Christmas dinner.” “And you don't want to go?” “Mom, Dad, I'd like you to meet my girlfriend from the strip club?” “Oh yeah, I get it. But still, you guys been going out for a while now. You are going to meet them sooner or later.” “It doesn't have to be on Christmas with all the relatives there.” “So what are you going to do?” “I don't know.” There were three cars parked outside the White Castle when they arrived. The restaurant's windows were so wet with condensation that they could not see through them. But when they dashed inside, they were nearly blinded by the garish light. “This is like sensory overload,” Roxanne said, as Jingle Bell Rock squalled from a tinny sound system. They walked over to the counter. There was no one behind it. Roxanne leaned forward, craning her neck to look back into the kitchen. She saw a young man in a white uniform and a hairnet dumping french fries out of a fryer basket. “Excuse us,” she called. He looked over his shoulder. “Be with you in a minute, ma'am,” he said. Clover cackled and nudged Roxanne with her elbow. “Ma'am. He thinks you're an old fucking lady.” “Yeah, and he thinks I'm taking my mom out for Christmas Eve.” The man came to the counter. His name badge identified him as Julio, assistant manager. “What can I get you ladies?” he asked. “I'd like four hamburgers, an order of medium fries and a large coffee, regular,” Roxanne said. “Give me six whiteys and a large Mountain Dew,” Clover added. “Would you like fries with that?” “Fuck no, I'm gonna eat most of hers.” Julio rang up their orders and Roxanne paid for both. Clover looked around the room. There were three occupied booths. In one a pair of middle aged men, wearing the uniforms of parking attendants, sat sipping coffee. At another, an older woman in a ragged green coat had only a cup of water and a single empty burger box on the table in front of her. A couple of booths down, three young, black clad goths were sitting together. They looked to be in their early twenties; two boys, one very large, the other thin and jittery, and a purple haired girl sitting across from them, loudly chewing gum. They all looked like they were coming down off a much better time than they were having now. “It's kind of a sad looking bunch of people in here,” Clover said. “Yeah,” Roxanne said, “It's Christmas Eve and they've got no place to go.” “That sounds familiar. I mean, what the fuck is the difference between them and us?” “We've got money in our pockets.” “Yeah, money we took from other lonely people,” Clover said. She looked lost in thought for a moment, then asked Roxanne, “How much money you think you've got in your pocket?” “I don't know, a hundred, maybe a hundred and twenty dollars.” Clover looked around the room, her lips tight and her brow knotted. “I'll bet I know what you're thinking,” Roxanne said. “It's fucking Christmas,” Clover said, shrugging. Roxanne called Julio back to the counter. “How much are those sacks of thirty sliders?” she asked him. “Thirty two dollars and fifty two cents.” She looked over her shoulder at the woman with her single burger. “Give me two sacks,” she said, fishing her cash out of her pocket. “You still want the other order?” “Yeah,” Clover said, “And I want you to give anybody whatever they want to drink. Keep a tab and I'll pay for them later.” Julio hesitated a moment, then said, “Okay, it will take a little bit of time. Your other order will be up in a minute.” When their food was ready, they went to the empty table between the old lady and the goths. As they walked past the parking attendants, Clover asked them, “How you guys doing? You had to work tonight?” “Fuckin' Nutcracker,” one of them grumbled. “So are you going to see your son tomorrow?” Roxanne asked Clover when they had taken their seats. Clover nodded. “Not till the afternoon. But I get to have him the next day, too.” “Have you got plans?” “I was thinking we'd go to Hong Kong Garden for dinner.” “And the next day?” “Are you kidding? The day after Christmas? We're going fucking shopping.” Roxanne laughed. “Yeah I'm sure that'll thrill a ten year old boy, going shopping with his mom.” They had each finished two burgers when Julio called to them that their order was ready. Clover walked over to the counter, picked up a bag of hamburgers in each hand and turned to face the dining area. “Ladies and gentlemen,” she hollered, “My friend Poindexter and I would like to treat everyone to Whiteys for Christmas.” She went from table to table, holding out the bags, so that each person could take some burgers. “And if anyone wants something to drink,” she said, “It's on us. Just step up and tell Julio what you want.” After going to each table, she had half a bag left. She put it on the table in front of Roxanne and sat down. Roxanne twisted in her seat and watched as several of the patrons went to the counter and ordered drinks. She noticed that the old woman in the next booth had neither gotten up nor taken any burgers. She took one from the bag, leaned over the back of the booth and asked, “Would you like another burger, ma'am?” “Are you sure it's okay?” “Of course it is,” Roxanne said, “Merry Christmas.” “Merry Christmas, dear,” the woman replied, taking the burger. Roxanne's phone buzzed. “I bet I know who that is,” Clover muttered. Roxanne looked at the screen. “Yeah, it's Sporty.” She sat back in the booth and answered, simply saying, “Hey.” “Listen baby,” he said, “I wish you hadn't split like that. I don't want you mad at me, whether you go tomorrow or not.” “I never said I was mad at you, Sporty. I'm just tired of all the back-and-forth on this shit.” “I don't think having Christmas with my family is shit.” “Now you're just looking to be offended. They know where you work, right?” “Yeah.” “So, you're going to tell them your bringing a girl from work to Christmas dinner, so I can sit there, eating turkey with everybody looking at me like I'm a whore.” “Ain't nobody gonna call you a whore.” “My own mom calls me a whore.” “Well, my mom ain't your mom.” “I don't know, Sporty. I'm just not sure I'm ready for this.” “We've been going out almost a year.” “Off and on.” “Whatever. Where are you at anyway? I come over to Finest Kind because I thought you guys would be here.” “They're closed.” “Well, no shit, I just told you I was over here.” “We're at the White Castle on Union Street.” “So, would it be cool if I come by?” “Yeah, sure. I'll see you in a bit.” Roxanne disconnected, shaking her head. “This fucking guy,” she muttered, “I'm telling you, he won't give up…” “And that's a bad thing? Let me ask you something,” Clover said, “and don't get pissed.” “Okay.” “Are you nervous about meeting his family because you think they won't like you being a stripper or because you don't think they'll like you being white?” Roxanne was silent for a minute. “Maybe both,” she said. “Either way, I think that's his problem, not yours. I mean it's his family.” “Yeah, but I'm afraid that if they give him a lot of shit about it, he isn't going to pick me over them.” “Well then, fuck him. He ain't worth it if he does that.” Roxanne shrugged. “Yeah, I guess.” An old man with flyaway white hair came into the restaurant. He appeared to be wearing just a light sweatsuit under his ratty coat. He sat down next to the old woman. She spoke quietly to him for a minute, then he loudly cleared his throat. “Excuse me, ladies,” he said in a hoarse voice. “Flo says you are buying burgers for everyone. Is that so?” “Sure is,” Clover said. Roxanne took two more burgers from the bag and handed them to him. “Go get yourself a coffee or something,” Clover said, “Whatever you want, it's on us.” The man thanked them, stood and fetched coffee for himself and Flo. Sporty came in a few minutes later, took off his wet coat and hung it on the end of the booth. He slid in next to Roxanne. Looking at the bags on the table, he asked, “Why did y'all buy so many burgers?” “Because we're generous bitches and we share with everybody,” Clover said. “Well, shit then.” He reached into the bag and pulled out a couple of burgers. After a few bites he said, “I need to get a drink.” “Just go to the counter,” Roxanne told him, “We're running a tab.” Sporty stuffed the rest of the burger in his mouth, then went to the counter. He came back a minute later with a large orange soda. “You been thinking about tomorrow?” he asked Roxanne. “Yeah, I've been thinking about it…” “Hey Sporty,” Clover said, interrupting her, “Let me ask you something.” “Yeah, what?” He reached for another burger. “Why do so many black families have macaroni and cheese for Christmas dinner?” “Because it's good as hell. We still have all the regular shit, turkey and mashed potatoes and cranberries and all that.” “Pumpkin pie or sweet potato?” “What do you think? Sweet potato pie.” “What kind of stuffing?” “Cornbread.” “Just plain?” “Fuck no, my mom puts Jimmy Dean sausage in it.” “Damn!” Clover exclaimed. “Listen, if this silly bitch don't want to come to your mom's house for Christmas dinner can I come?” “You can both come as far as I'm concerned.” Roxanne laughed. “That's actually a pretty good plan. If your mom spends five minutes with Clover, she'll think I'm little miss sunshine.” “No, she'll think you're a dumb bitch who thinks Santa only has eight reindeer.” “Rudolph doesn't count.” “Damn, you back on that shit?” Sporty said, rolling his eyes. Clover slipped out of the booth. “Fuck you both,” she said, standing up. “Hey everybody,” she shouted, “I'm taking a Christmas survey. How many reindeers does Santa Claus have?” There was murmuring throughout the room. The big goth kid was counting on his fingers. One of the parking attendants was quietly singing Rudolph The Red Nose Reindeer. His friend said, emphatically, “Eight.” The goth girl said “Nine, if you count Rudolph.” “Rudolph wasn't one of the originals,” he replied. “So where did he come from?” “Gene Autry.” “Dead white man,” she muttered. The man who had been singing said, “The Night Before Christmas guy gave them their names.” The skinny goth kid glared over the back of the booth at him. “But who said he was in charge of fucking reindeer?” “He wrote the goddamn poem!” “They didn't know about Rudolph then!” “Isn't it nice to see how the holidays bring people together,” Roxanne said to Sporty. “All right,” Clover said, clapping her hands together. “Let's put it to a vote. How many people say nine?” She raised her hand and the goth kids and the old lady joined her. “Who says eight?” Roxanne, Sporty, the parking guys and the old man raised their hands. Clover looked at Sporty. “Put your fucking hand down, man, your vote don't count.” “Why don't my vote count?” “Because you ain't hoping to get any pussy from me tonight.” “You got that right,” he smirked. Roxanne turned in her seat. “How many people say ten?” They all looked at her, perplexed. No one raised a hand. “That's your cue to sit down and shut the fuck up,” she said to Clover. Clover looked around with a frown, then sat without saying anything more. Sporty looked over his shoulder and said, “Who thinks Die Hard is a Christmas movie?” Everyone raised their hand. “Goddamn right,” he muttered. Roxanne nudged him with her elbow. “I need to go to the bathroom,” she said. He stood up and let her go by. The parking lot guys were getting up to leave. They thanked her for the burgers as she went past their table and wished her a happy holiday. One gave her a big hug. At least he didn't try to cop a feel, she thought as she went into the women's bathroom. When she opened the door to come out a few minutes later, Sporty was standing in front of it. “You know how cute you look in that hat?” he asked. “Do you know how desperate you sound when you try to sweet talk me?” “Nah, I ain't desperate. It'd be alright if you don't want to go tomorrow. I get it. But don't go saying you weren't welcome to go, because you were asked.” “Okay, that's fair. It's just that it's a big step.” “You got to take steps if you want to get anywhere,” he said. She put her hand on his shoulder and kissed his cheek. Looking past him, she did not see anyone watching them. She gripped the waist of his pants and walked backward, pulling him into the bathroom. Sporty pushed the door shut behind him, and let Roxanne tug him across the room until her hips bumped against the edge of the sink. Roxanne leaned back, looking up at him and biting her lip. He gazed down at her, his hands on her hips, and kissed her. She kissed him back, but then turned her head. “At some point,” she said, “we have to talk about where we are going.” “We do,” he replied, “but we ain't got to do it right now.” She draped her arms over his shoulders and they exchanged a long, hard, tongue swirling kiss. Sporty's hands moved to her breasts, squeezing and caressing them, while Roxanne dropped her hand down to rub his stiff cock through his jeans. “I think you've got something you want to give me for Christmas,” she whispered. “I don't know,” he said, “I don't think you've been a very good girl.” “Do you want me to be a good girl?” “Aw, hell no,” he said. He took a half step back, seized her waist and spun her around to face the sink. Her Santa hat fell off, landing in the basin. He ran one hand down between her legs and cradled her chin in the other. “Look at you,” he whispered in her ear. Her glasses had slipped down her nose. She pushed them back into their proper position and gazed at herself in the mirror. “Look and see what I see.” Roxanne looked at his eyes in the mirror as his hand rubbed and squeezed her pussy. “Don't look at me, look at you.” She stared at her own reflection, resisting the temptation to watch as he unfastened her jeans and pushed them down over her hips. But when his fingers slipped inside her, she leaned her head back and kissed the side of his neck. His fingers probed deep into her, his thumb played with her clitoris. She reached back and rubbed his crotch. She fumbled at his belt until he gently pushed her hand away and undid it himself. Roxanne felt his cock bump against her ass, then slip down between her thighs. He placed his hand between her shoulders and gently pushed her down until her elbows were on the sides of the sink. She picked up her Santa hat and put it back on her head. Sporty kneaded her ass, then spread her thighs, pressed the head of his cock into her pussy and began to fuck her with long, smooth strokes. Clover snickered when she saw Sporty disappear into the women's bathroom. Get your figgy pudding, girlfriend, she thought, don't go until you get some. She walked to the counter and got a refill on her Mountain Dew, then stopped and listened for a minute. The sound wasn't loud, but she could hear them in the bathroom. They were definitely fucking in there. As she walked back to the booth, she saw the goth girl looking toward the bathroom. She glanced up at Clover with a smirk. Clover winked at her and sat back down in the booth. A few minutes later, the skinny goth kid leaned close to the window and peered out. He wiped away the condensation with his sleeve and looked again. “Fucking cops,” he muttered. “What cops?” Clover asked. “Cop car just pulled up.” “Oh, shit,” Clover muttered. She looked toward the bathroom. She couldn't hear Roxanne and Sporty where she was sitting, but there was no doubt that when the cops walked in, they would. They had to walk right past the bathroom to get to the counter. One of them might even go into the mens' room. She thought about warning them somehow, but didn't think there was enough time. That was confirmed when she saw the cops approaching the door. She had to do something. Just as they reached the door, she began singing at the top of her lungs. You better watch out, you better not cry, you better not pout, I'm telling you why. The goth girl looked up at her and immediately realized what she was doing and joined in. Santa Claus is coming to town. The cops walked in. One was an older man. His eyes and shoulders both drooped. There's another guy doesn't want to be working on Christmas Eve, Clover thought. His partner was a young, thin black man. They walked right past the bathroom to the counter. He's making a list, He's checking it twice. The other goth kids joined in the singing. He's gonna a find out who's naughty and nice. The old couple began to sing along. Santa Claus is coming to town. The two cops stood by the counter, looking around the room. Julio approached the cash register. The older cop leaned in and spoke to him. Julio pointed to Clover and the cop looked over at her. He nodded, then spoke to Julio again. He sees you when you're sleeping, He knows when you're awake He knows if you've been bad or good, So be good for goodness sake Julio handed each of the cops a bag of burgers and a cup of coffee. Now get the fuck out of here, Clover thought, but instead of leaving they walked toward her. The older cop held out his hand. “Awfully nice thing for you to do, ma'am,” he said. The other customers kept singing. Clover shook his hand. The younger cop shook with her as well. They turned toward the door, tipping their hats to the older couple as they went by. The older cop walked out just as the customers were finishing the last chorus, but the younger cop turned and went to the counter. He held out his open bag toward Julio. “Could you toss a couple of ketchups in there?” he asked. Julio nodded and dropped a handful of packets in his bag. “Thank you, Merry Christmas.” he said, then waved to the customers. “Merry Christmas, everyone.” He took two steps toward the door and stopped and looked toward the bathroom. Clover could hear Roxanne moaning from where she was sitting. He looked around the room. “Does anyone know who is in there?” he asked. “Yes, officer,” Clover said, “That's my friend. I'm afraid she ate a few too many of these gut grenades. You know what they can do to your digestion.” “Yeah, we all been there once or twice, I suppose,” he said. He went to the door and started to open it, then stopped, obviously listening to the sounds emanating from the bathroom. He turned and looked Clover in the eyes. An amused expression crossed his face. He winked at her and walked out. Roxanne had already come twice when she heard the singing. She thought it was just in her head until Sporty paused between thrusts and muttered, “What the fuck is that?” “Jesus, don't fucking stop,” she groaned. “Oh, you need some more of this dick?” “Goddamn it, yes, Sporty, fuck me.” He gripped her hips and began slapping his loins against her ass harder. She braced her hands against the mirror and shoved back against each plunge of his cock. “You getting kind of loud,” he told her. She dropped her head and her Santa hat fell off. She grabbed it and bit down on the white felt ball to keep from crying out. But after a minute or two, she let go of it, unable to keep from moaning loudly each time he jammed his cock deep inside her. She looked up at him in the mirror. Their eyes met, and the look of passion on his face pushed her over the edge into another orgasm. Before it subsided, she felt him stiffen, jerk his cock a few more times and withdraw, as his hot cum ran down the inside of her thigh. “At least they stopped that fucking singing,” Sporty said as Roxanne cleaned herself up. He picked up her Santa hat from the floor, brushed it off and stuck it back on her head, then unlatched the door. “Hold on a minute, babe,” Roxanne said. She raised her face and kissed him. “I'd be happy to go to your mom's tomorrow.” “Damn,” he said with a wide grin, “All I had to do was fuck you real good?” “You always fuck me real good.” “Then I will always get my way, right?” “Don't push your luck,” she said, opening the door. As they came out of the bathroom, the goth kids were walking toward the exit. “Merry Christmas. And thanks,” the girl said. “Yeah, thanks,” skinny kid said as well. The big kid stopped, looked at Roxanne and held his fist out toward Sporty. “Yo,” he said, “You da dawg, bro.” Sporty bumped fists with him. “Fucking white kids,” he muttered, chuckling. They slipped back into the booth, where Clover was waiting for them with her arms crossed and a smug expression on her face. “What was that singing?” Sporty asked. “That was me saving the you two fuckpuppies from spending Christmas in the slammer.” “What are you talking about?” Roxanne asked. “A couple cops came in here while you were getting your stocking stuffed. We were singing so they wouldn't hear the noise you were making.” “We weren't making that much noise.” Sporty laughed. “Girl, you loud as hell.” The old couple came to their booth and thanked them for their burgers. “Merry Christmas,” the man said, shaking all their hands. “There is a special place in heaven for you ladies,” the woman said. As they walked away, Clover said, “You think there is a special place in heaven for us?” “If we died tonight, we might at least be able to make a case for it,” Roxanne said with a shrug. “And by next week, we are fucked again.” Julio came out of the kitchen with a damp rag and wiped the table where the parking guys had been sitting. “Hey, Julio didn't vote,” Clover said. She called to him. “Julio, how many reindeers does Santa Claus have?” Julio looked at her with a perplexed expression. “I don't know,” he said. “You know, like in the song. Dancer and Prancer and Donger and Blitzkin…” “Donger?” Roxanne asked. Julio shrugged. “I don't know that song.” “You don't know it? What the fuck country are you from?” He stared as her and said, “Colombia.” “Oh. Shit. Sorry, I wasn't trying to be rude.” “She doesn't have to try,” Roxanne said, “It's her default mode.” Julio shook his head and returned to the kitchen. “Give the brother a break,” Sporty said, “He's from South America. What the fuck he gonna know about reindeers? Ask him about llamas, he'll probably tell you everything you ever wanted to know.” “I can't think of anything I want to know about llamas,” Clover shot back. “But I do feel kind of bad for the guy. I mean, he'd have had a lot easier night if we hadn't come in here and bought burgers and shit for everybody.” “It's his job,” Roxanne said with a shrug. “Yeah, and we fucking threw a fit because we had to work on Christmas Eve.” “You threw a fit. I didn't.” “You didn't like it.” “No, but I acted like a fucking grown-up about it.” “Yeah, but you have to act like one because you don't look like one.” Sporty looked in the bag. “Anybody want this last burger?” he asked. Roxanne and Clover shook their heads. Sporty bit into the burger, swallowed and said, “You feel so bad for the guy, why don't you do something nice for him for Christmas?” “Like what?” Clover asked. “Like what the fuck you think?” Sporty asked. Clover looked at him for a minute, then tipped her head to look past him. Julio was wiping off the service counter. “He's not a bad looking guy,” Roxanne said. “Well then, why don't you go do it then?” Clover asked. “I wasn't a twat to him.” “Besides,” Sporty said with a grin, “she already got hers.” “I ain't gonna fuck him in the bathroom,” Clover said. Roxanne laughed. “The bathroom is clean, at least.” “You don't think I will do it, do you?” “Bitch, I stopped trying to figure out what you would or wouldn't do about the time you set my boyfriend's car on fire,” Roxanne said. Julio disappeared into the kitchen. “Fuck both of you,” Clover said. She got up and followed him. “Hey, Julio,” she called. He was standing at the dish sink and turned around at the sound of her voice. “Listen, dude,” she said, “I hope I didn't say anything that offended you or got you upset or what not. That's just me clowning around.” “It is fine. I understand.” “Well, I think we put a lot of extra work on you tonight, coming in here and disrupting and shouting and singing and all.” “No, it is fine, Missus.” “Well, it's Christmas and all that. I'd like to maybe give you a little something for your trouble…” Julio waved his hands. “No Missus, we are not allowed to except tips.” “Yeah, I wasn't talking about giving you money.” She looked around and saw an open door at the back of the kitchen. She walked to it and peered into a dark room. “What's in here?” she asked. “That's the manager's office.” Clover walked in and flipped the light switch. A large flat top desk against the far wall nearly filled the room. There was a faux leather swivel chair in front of it. Clover plopped down into it, spun around, and put her feet up on the desk. Julio stood in the doorway, looking nervous. “The manager does not like anyone sitting in his chair,” he said, “No one is allowed.” “But you're the assistant manager right?” “Si.” “So when he ain't here, you're the fucking manager and it's your chair.” “I do not think so…” “And I am your guest, so I can sit in your chair.” “Missus,” he said, “I know it's a foolish rule but I need this job.” “Do you think I'm gonna tell anybody about this?” Julio looked at her with a puzzled expression. “About what, Missus?” “First of all, stop calling me Missus. Then come over here and find out.” She sat up, put her feet on the floor and patted the top of the desk. Julio leaned back and looked around the kitchen as if he suspected someone might be lurking there. Clover patted the desktop again. “The boss told you not to sit in his chair, but he didn't say shit about sitting on his desk, did he?” “No. I suppose he did not.” She pushed the chair back until it banged into the wall. “So have a seat.” Julio bit his lip, seeming lost in thought, then sat on the edge of the desk. “Dude, lose that dumbass apron.” Julio reached behind his back and untied the apron. Before he could pull it over his head, Clover had his belt unbuckled. He watched with an expression of amazement as she deftly unsnapped his waistband, yanked down his zipper, and pulled his cock free. “Do all the men in Columbia have big dicks?” she asked as she wrapped her hand around it. “Si,” Julio said, “It is well known in Latin America, Missus.” “You call me Missus again and I might bite it off,” she said. She flicked her tongue at the head, then wrapped her lips around it and began to suck. Julio briefly lifted his hips from the desk and tugged his pants and shorts down to his thighs. Clover cupped his balls in her left hand, massaging them, while her right hand stroked his shaft. She took it in her mouth again, but almost immediately, she heard a chime ringing. She raised her head and asked Julio, “What the fuck is that?” Julio had a look of panic on his face. “Someone is at the drive-through,” he said, “I must go serve them.” He started to rise, but she put her hands on his hips and pushed him back down. “No, fuck that,” she said, “Stay right there.” She got up and rushed to the dining room. Roxanne and Sporty were sitting in the booth, kissing. “Hey, you fucking lovebirds, I need help here,” she shouted. When they looked at her in surprise, she said, “There's somebody in the fucking drive-through. Either of you guys ever work at a fast food place?” “I worked at Burger King in high school.” Sporty said. “Well, pry Roxy's hand off your whopper and get the fuck in here and find out what they want.” She disappeared back into the kitchen. Roxanne and Sporty looked at each other and shrugged. “I'll give it a try,” Sporty said. He slipped out of the booth and headed toward the kitchen, Roxanne following close behind. “It's like somebody told Santa they wanted a shit show for Christmas,” she muttered. Sporty went to the drive-through window and looked around. “Fuck. I don't know how to use this touchscreen shit,” he said. “Can you at least talk to the guy?” Roxanne asked. “Yeah, that shit looks the same. Hold on.” He was distracted by the sounds coming from the manager's office. “What's she doing in there?” he asked. “Sounds like she's sucking his dick.” “Damn, she's loud, too. Sounds like somebody got a rag stuck in their wet-vac.” He pressed several buttons on the communications panel, but nothing happened. He fiddled with the volume knob, and clicked the headset on and off, all to no avail. Suddenly, he was startled by a blasting horn, and looked over to see a white pick up truck right outside the window The driver, a large, red faced, bearded man, was glaring at him. “Honey, I don't think that's Santa Claus,” Roxanne said. Sporty slid the window open. “I've been out here trying to order for ten fucking minutes,” the man shouted. “Yeah, sorry about that,” Sporty said. “We got some kind of computer problem.” The man looked past him at Roxanne. “Looks to me like the problem is you're having some kind of party in there.” “Naw, she's the manager. She come in to try to fix it.” “So why isn't she fixing it?” “Sir,” Roxanne said, “I'm sorry, but there is nothing we can do about it until the tech guys get here.” “I worked to midnight on Christmas Eve. All I wanted was some burgers for when I get home.” “I'll see what I can get for you, no charge.” She went to the grill. There were onions simmering in the corner and pre-cooked patties in a warming pan. She found a package of buns and put a half dozen on the grill to brown. The man tapped his fingers impatiently on the door of his car. “This is some bullshit,” he barked at Sporty, “You got something for me or not?” “Roxy is fixing it up right now.” “The manager's name is Roxy?” “Yeah, she was named for her grandmom.” Roxanne's glasses kept steaming up from the grill's heat. She did her best to assemble the burgers, but one got no onions, one had triple pickle and some were drenched with mustard and ketchup while others got no more than a drop or two. She boxed the burgers, stacked them in a bag, and handed it to Sporty. “About time,” the man grumbled. “What about a Coke? I need something to drink.” “Coming right up!” Roxanne said with a big smile. As she poured a Coke from the dispenser she thought, I hope those burgers give you the shits, asshole. Sporty handed him the drink and cheerily said, “Merry Christmas, sir.” The man growled. “Yeah, right. I guess the two of you can get back to whatever you were doing now.” “Thank you, sir,” Sporty said, “But we already finished that. Appreciate the thought though.” The man glared at them, muttered something underneath his breath, and drove off. “What did he say?” Roxanne asked. “I didn't catch in, but I think one of the words started with an F and one with an N.” “Feliz Navidad?” “Most likely not.” “Should we figure out how this works, in case someone else pulls up?” “How long Julio gonna take getting his nut?” Roxanne shrugged. “Hold up,” Sporty said, “I got a better idea.” He walked to the back door, opened it and, looking outside, flicked a couple of light switches on the walk. “There you go,” he said. “What did you do?” “Turned off the outside lights, so the place looks closed.” Clover took Julio's cock into her mouth until she felt his pubic hair tickling her nose, then swallowed. That will keep him from trying to go see what's happening in the kitchen, she thought. When she was out of breath, she rose up, releasing his cock with a loud popping sound. She circled the head with her tongue a few times, then dove down and swallowed again. It was late, she was tired, her jaw was starting to ache and her belly was rumbling in complaint over its load of greasy hamburger. She sucked in her cheeks as hard as she could, and Julio exhaled loudly and raised his hips from the desk. As she lifted her head, Julio spurted into her mouth. She swallowed most of it, then picked up his apron off the desk and wiped her face with it, surreptitiously spitting out the rest of his load. He leaned forward, his head hanging low, while he recovered his breath. Clover stood up, and loudly burped. “Sorry about that,” she said. Julio stood, pulling up his pants. “It is okay, Missus.” They walked into the kitchen. Julio immediately noticed that it was dark outside the drive through window. “You friends, I think they turned off the lights,” he said, “I will have to turn them on and to see what else they might have done.” “Okay, well, Merry Christmas, dude.” “And to you, Missus.” Clover turned away, but he added, “Missus?” She looked back. “Maybe you will come for hamburgers again.” Clover looked him over. “Yeah, I might.” Roxanne and Sporty were sitting in the booth when Clover returned to the dining room. Roxanne was leaning against him, her head on his shoulder and her eyes shut. Clover sat down across from them. “You guys about ready to go?” she asked. Roxanne sat up straight and stretched. “Yeah we might as well,” she said. Sporty looked out the window. “That sleet shit turned into real snow,” he said. He nudged Roxanne. “Let me up, baby.” She stood and he slid out of the booth. “Give me your keys,” he said, “I'll get your car warmed up.” She fished her keys out of her purse and handed them to him as he put on his coat. Watching him walk out, Clover said, “When a man cleans the snow off your car for you, he's getting serious. Especially if he does it after you fuck him.” “I think asking me to come with him to his mom's house for Christmas shows that pretty good, too.” “So, stop being a fucking pussy about it. You think you're going to find another nice guy who is obviously crazy about you and doesn't give a shit what you do for a living?” Roxanne was silent for a minute. “It doesn't seem likely, does it?” she said at last. They kissed again and Sporty said, “You know, I had a lot of girlfriends before, but I never brought one home with me on Christmas.” She patted his cheek, kissed him and said, “I've had a lot of boyfriends before, but I never fucked one in the bathroom at White Castle on Christmas Eve.” She kissed him on the nose and dashed to her car, calling, “See you tomorrow, babe.” “It's about time,” Clover said, as Roxanne got into the drivers seat, “I'm freezing my tits off over here.” “That's because they're fake.” “Probably. They should've come with like a heater option.” “I wish I'd known it was a problem, I would have got you one for Christmas.” Clover reached across the console and squeezed Roxanne's hand. “Merry Christmas, Rhonda,” she said. Roxanne felt her eyes moisten. “Merry Christmas, Charlene.” The last display before the park exit, the grand finale, was a great arc of lights over the road. On the left, Santa rode in his sleigh, overflowing bags of gift boxes and teddy bears behind him. His reindeer stretched along the arc, their legs blinking in a dance across the night sky. At the right end of the display, Rudolph's nose glowed like a beacon. “Nine!” Clover shouted, “Bitch, count ‘em! nine fucking reindeers!” “Rudolph doesn't count.” “He counts in this town.” “Why? Because Parks and Rec says he does?” Clover sat back, her arms crossed over her chest in triumph. “Nine fucking reindeer,” she smirked. “Eight,” Roxanne muttered. “Nine.” “Eight…” By  MelissaBaby for Literotica

Where can two strippers get a bite to eat on Christmas Eve? By  MelissaBaby. (abridged) Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. “Fuck Christmas,” Clover shouted, “and fuck you, Tony. Fuck Santa Claus, fuck his elves and fuck all ten goddamn reindeers.” “Eight,” Roxanne said, filing her nails and looking at her over the top of her glasses. “Shut up, Roxy, I'm talking about reindeers, not how many cocks you sucked over the weekend.” “Clover, calm down,” Tony said, “It was worth taking a shot.” “Bullshit, I told you nobody goes to a strip club on Christmas Eve.”“She did tell you,” Roxanne said, “Even louder that she's telling you now.” “Look,” he said, shrugging, “I'm sorry, but it wasn't nobody…” “We've had five customers,” Clover said. “And the last one was two hours ago,” Roxanne chimed in, “It's almost ten thirty.” Clover jerked her thumb at Roxanne. “She might look like a doofus wearing that stupid Santa hat, but she's right.” Tony held up his hands, “Okay, it turned out to not be a great idea. You guys are always saying that more customers come in because they are lonely than because they are horny. I figured it would be a lonely night for a lot of guys…” “It might be a great night to be a hooker,” Clover said, “but not a dancer.” He looked at his watch, then over his shoulder at LeAnn, the bartender. “Tell you what,” he told her, “If nobody else comes in before eleven, go ahead and close up.” He started to walk away, but Roxanne called him back. “We paid our club fees, Tony, that isn't right.” He looked up toward the ceiling, as if he were looking for a script to read from. “You want to close and go home early, but you want your club fees refunded because I said we would close and you could go home early?” “No,” Clover said, “We want our club fees refunded because we paid you fifty dollars to dance on a night when you dragged us in here to dance, even though we told you nobody was coming the fuck in.” “Fine,” he said, throwing his hands in the air, “LeAnn, give them back their club fees.” The door opened, and they both groaned, but it was not a customer. Sporty, the Gold Dollar's bouncer, came in. “Speaking of guys you'll fuck,” Clover muttered. When he approached the bar, she said, “Hey Sporty, how come you go out with Roxy? I always heard black guys like girls with nice big asses.” “I always heard strippers were friendly,” he shot back. He sat down next to Roxanne. “Where have you been?” she asked him. “Yeah,” Clover said, “There could have been a brawl in here, between the rats and the cockroaches.” “I was sitting out in my car, listening to some jams.” Clover tipped out and gave LeAnn a big hug, then she and Roxanne walked out to their cars in a light cold rain. “You ain't waiting for Sporty?” Clover asked. “Nope, don't want to talk to him right now. Meet you at the diner.” They each got in their cars. A light coating of slush covered Roxanne's windshield, but the wipers easily pushed it to the side. She pulled out of the parking lot on to the slippery street and drove the mile and a half to their usual after work spot, the Finest Kind Diner, while Clover followed close behind. When she turned into the diner's parking lot she noticed immediately that the lights were turned off, except for a string of colored Christmas bulbs blinking around the front door. Clover thought for a minute. “We could go to Denny's.” “Are they open?” “How the fuck would I know? Call ‘em up.” “Oh, so I have to look up the number?” “I figured it has a man's name, so you would know it.” Roxanne sat back in her seat. “I don't want to drive all the way across town, just to go to Denny's. What else would be open?” “Just White Castle.” Roxanne thought for a minute. “Yeah, what the fuck, let's go to White Castle.” “We ought to just go in one car,” Clover suggested. “Fine. Yours or mine?” “Yours,” Clover said, “Mine is more full of trash than a westside trailer park.” She pulled her car into a parking space, shut it off and got out. “I hate this drizzly shit,” she said as she got into Roxanne's passenger seat. “Hey, don't you live in a westside trailer park?” Roxanne asked. “Yeah, that's why I know what I am talking about.” “Speaking of knowing what you're talking about,” Roxanne said, “Santa Claus has eight reindeer.” “Are you counting Rudolph?” “Nope. Rudolph doesn't count.” “Who decided that?” “Clement Moore.” “Who the fuck is he? Sounds like a baseball player.” “He wrote The Night Before Christmas.” “Twas the night before Christmas,” Clover recited in a sing song voice, “And all through the place, Roxanne was sitting on every guy's face.” “And up from the lawn there arose such a clatter,” Roxanne returned, “As Clover devoured the whole turkey platter.” Clover nodded her head. “That was pretty good,” she admitted. Roxanne was quiet for a moment, then asked, “You wonder though, who the fuck would name a reindeer Blitzen? What is he, a Nazi reindeer?” “I bet Rudolph was originally Adolf the Red Nosed Reindeer and they changed it during the war or something. Hey, what's going on with you and Sporty?” “He wants me to go to his mom's house for Christmas dinner.” “And you don't want to go?” “Mom, Dad, I'd like you to meet my girlfriend from the strip club?” “Oh yeah, I get it. But still, you guys been going out for a while now. You are going to meet them sooner or later.” “It doesn't have to be on Christmas with all the relatives there.” “So what are you going to do?” “I don't know.” There were three cars parked outside the White Castle when they arrived. The restaurant's windows were so wet with condensation that they could not see through them. But when they dashed inside, they were nearly blinded by the garish light. “This is like sensory overload,” Roxanne said, as Jingle Bell Rock squalled from a tinny sound system. They walked over to the counter. There was no one behind it. Roxanne leaned forward, craning her neck to look back into the kitchen. She saw a young man in a white uniform and a hairnet dumping french fries out of a fryer basket. “Excuse us,” she called. He looked over his shoulder. “Be with you in a minute, ma'am,” he said. Clover cackled and nudged Roxanne with her elbow. “Ma'am. He thinks you're an old fucking lady.” “Yeah, and he thinks I'm taking my mom out for Christmas Eve.” The man came to the counter. His name badge identified him as Julio, assistant manager. “What can I get you ladies?” he asked. “I'd like four hamburgers, an order of medium fries and a large coffee, regular,” Roxanne said. “Give me six whiteys and a large Mountain Dew,” Clover added. “Would you like fries with that?” “Fuck no, I'm gonna eat most of hers.” Julio rang up their orders and Roxanne paid for both. Clover looked around the room. There were three occupied booths. In one a pair of middle aged men, wearing the uniforms of parking attendants, sat sipping coffee. At another, an older woman in a ragged green coat had only a cup of water and a single empty burger box on the table in front of her. A couple of booths down, three young, black clad goths were sitting together. They looked to be in their early twenties; two boys, one very large, the other thin and jittery, and a purple haired girl sitting across from them, loudly chewing gum. They all looked like they were coming down off a much better time than they were having now. “It's kind of a sad looking bunch of people in here,” Clover said. “Yeah,” Roxanne said, “It's Christmas Eve and they've got no place to go.” “That sounds familiar. I mean, what the fuck is the difference between them and us?” “We've got money in our pockets.” “Yeah, money we took from other lonely people,” Clover said. She looked lost in thought for a moment, then asked Roxanne, “How much money you think you've got in your pocket?” “I don't know, a hundred, maybe a hundred and twenty dollars.” Clover looked around the room, her lips tight and her brow knotted. “I'll bet I know what you're thinking,” Roxanne said. “It's fucking Christmas,” Clover said, shrugging. Roxanne called Julio back to the counter. “How much are those sacks of thirty sliders?” she asked him. “Thirty two dollars and fifty two cents.” She looked over her shoulder at the woman with her single burger. “Give me two sacks,” she said, fishing her cash out of her pocket. “You still want the other order?” “Yeah,” Clover said, “And I want you to give anybody whatever they want to drink. Keep a tab and I'll pay for them later.” Julio hesitated a moment, then said, “Okay, it will take a little bit of time. Your other order will be up in a minute.” When their food was ready, they went to the empty table between the old lady and the goths. As they walked past the parking attendants, Clover asked them, “How you guys doing? You had to work tonight?” “Fuckin' Nutcracker,” one of them grumbled. “So are you going to see your son tomorrow?” Roxanne asked Clover when they had taken their seats. Clover nodded. “Not till the afternoon. But I get to have him the next day, too.” “Have you got plans?” “I was thinking we'd go to Hong Kong Garden for dinner.” “And the next day?” “Are you kidding? The day after Christmas? We're going fucking shopping.” Roxanne laughed. “Yeah I'm sure that'll thrill a ten year old boy, going shopping with his mom.” They had each finished two burgers when Julio called to them that their order was ready. Clover walked over to the counter, picked up a bag of hamburgers in each hand and turned to face the dining area. “Ladies and gentlemen,” she hollered, “My friend Poindexter and I would like to treat everyone to Whiteys for Christmas.” She went from table to table, holding out the bags, so that each person could take some burgers. “And if anyone wants something to drink,” she said, “It's on us. Just step up and tell Julio what you want.” After going to each table, she had half a bag left. She put it on the table in front of Roxanne and sat down. Roxanne twisted in her seat and watched as several of the patrons went to the counter and ordered drinks. She noticed that the old woman in the next booth had neither gotten up nor taken any burgers. She took one from the bag, leaned over the back of the booth and asked, “Would you like another burger, ma'am?” “Are you sure it's okay?” “Of course it is,” Roxanne said, “Merry Christmas.” “Merry Christmas, dear,” the woman replied, taking the burger. Roxanne's phone buzzed. “I bet I know who that is,” Clover muttered. Roxanne looked at the screen. “Yeah, it's Sporty.” She sat back in the booth and answered, simply saying, “Hey.” “Listen baby,” he said, “I wish you hadn't split like that. I don't want you mad at me, whether you go tomorrow or not.” “I never said I was mad at you, Sporty. I'm just tired of all the back-and-forth on this shit.” “I don't think having Christmas with my family is shit.” “Now you're just looking to be offended. They know where you work, right?” “Yeah.” “So, you're going to tell them your bringing a girl from work to Christmas dinner, so I can sit there, eating turkey with everybody looking at me like I'm a whore.” “Ain't nobody gonna call you a whore.” “My own mom calls me a whore.” “Well, my mom ain't your mom.” “I don't know, Sporty. I'm just not sure I'm ready for this.” “We've been going out almost a year.” “Off and on.” “Whatever. Where are you at anyway? I come over to Finest Kind because I thought you guys would be here.” “They're closed.” “Well, no shit, I just told you I was over here.” “We're at the White Castle on Union Street.” “So, would it be cool if I come by?” “Yeah, sure. I'll see you in a bit.” Roxanne disconnected, shaking her head. “This fucking guy,” she muttered, “I'm telling you, he won't give up…” “And that's a bad thing? Let me ask you something,” Clover said, “and don't get pissed.” “Okay.” “Are you nervous about meeting his family because you think they won't like you being a stripper or because you don't think they'll like you being white?” Roxanne was silent for a minute. “Maybe both,” she said. “Either way, I think that's his problem, not yours. I mean it's his family.” “Yeah, but I'm afraid that if they give him a lot of shit about it, he isn't going to pick me over them.” “Well then, fuck him. He ain't worth it if he does that.” Roxanne shrugged. “Yeah, I guess.” An old man with flyaway white hair came into the restaurant. He appeared to be wearing just a light sweatsuit under his ratty coat. He sat down next to the old woman. She spoke quietly to him for a minute, then he loudly cleared his throat. “Excuse me, ladies,” he said in a hoarse voice. “Flo says you are buying burgers for everyone. Is that so?” “Sure is,” Clover said. Roxanne took two more burgers from the bag and handed them to him. “Go get yourself a coffee or something,” Clover said, “Whatever you want, it's on us.” The man thanked them, stood and fetched coffee for himself and Flo. Sporty came in a few minutes later, took off his wet coat and hung it on the end of the booth. He slid in next to Roxanne. Looking at the bags on the table, he asked, “Why did y'all buy so many burgers?” “Because we're generous bitches and we share with everybody,” Clover said. “Well, shit then.” He reached into the bag and pulled out a couple of burgers. After a few bites he said, “I need to get a drink.” “Just go to the counter,” Roxanne told him, “We're running a tab.” Sporty stuffed the rest of the burger in his mouth, then went to the counter. He came back a minute later with a large orange soda. “You been thinking about tomorrow?” he asked Roxanne. “Yeah, I've been thinking about it…” “Hey Sporty,” Clover said, interrupting her, “Let me ask you something.” “Yeah, what?” He reached for another burger. “Why do so many black families have macaroni and cheese for Christmas dinner?” “Because it's good as hell. We still have all the regular shit, turkey and mashed potatoes and cranberries and all that.” “Pumpkin pie or sweet potato?” “What do you think? Sweet potato pie.” “What kind of stuffing?” “Cornbread.” “Just plain?” “Fuck no, my mom puts Jimmy Dean sausage in it.” “Damn!” Clover exclaimed. “Listen, if this silly bitch don't want to come to your mom's house for Christmas dinner can I come?” “You can both come as far as I'm concerned.” Roxanne laughed. “That's actually a pretty good plan. If your mom spends five minutes with Clover, she'll think I'm little miss sunshine.” “No, she'll think you're a dumb bitch who thinks Santa only has eight reindeer.” “Rudolph doesn't count.” “Damn, you back on that shit?” Sporty said, rolling his eyes. Clover slipped out of the booth. “Fuck you both,” she said, standing up. “Hey everybody,” she shouted, “I'm taking a Christmas survey. How many reindeers does Santa Claus have?” There was murmuring throughout the room. The big goth kid was counting on his fingers. One of the parking attendants was quietly singing Rudolph The Red Nose Reindeer. His friend said, emphatically, “Eight.” The goth girl said “Nine, if you count Rudolph.” “Rudolph wasn't one of the originals,” he replied. “So where did he come from?” “Gene Autry.” “Dead white man,” she muttered. The man who had been singing said, “The Night Before Christmas guy gave them their names.” The skinny goth kid glared over the back of the booth at him. “But who said he was in charge of fucking reindeer?” “He wrote the goddamn poem!” “They didn't know about Rudolph then!” “Isn't it nice to see how the holidays bring people together,” Roxanne said to Sporty. “All right,” Clover said, clapping her hands together. “Let's put it to a vote. How many people say nine?” She raised her hand and the goth kids and the old lady joined her. “Who says eight?” Roxanne, Sporty, the parking guys and the old man raised their hands. Clover looked at Sporty. “Put your fucking hand down, man, your vote don't count.” “Why don't my vote count?” “Because you ain't hoping to get any pussy from me tonight.” “You got that right,” he smirked. Roxanne turned in her seat. “How many people say ten?” They all looked at her, perplexed. No one raised a hand. “That's your cue to sit down and shut the fuck up,” she said to Clover. Clover looked around with a frown, then sat without saying anything more. Sporty looked over his shoulder and said, “Who thinks Die Hard is a Christmas movie?” Everyone raised their hand. “Goddamn right,” he muttered. Roxanne nudged him with her elbow. “I need to go to the bathroom,” she said. He stood up and let her go by. The parking lot guys were getting up to leave. They thanked her for the burgers as she went past their table and wished her a happy holiday. One gave her a big hug. At least he didn't try to cop a feel, she thought as she went into the women's bathroom. When she opened the door to come out a few minutes later, Sporty was standing in front of it. “You know how cute you look in that hat?” he asked. “Do you know how desperate you sound when you try to sweet talk me?” “Nah, I ain't desperate. It'd be alright if you don't want to go tomorrow. I get it. But don't go saying you weren't welcome to go, because you were asked.” “Okay, that's fair. It's just that it's a big step.” “You got to take steps if you want to get anywhere,” he said. She put her hand on his shoulder and kissed his cheek. Looking past him, she did not see anyone watching them. She gripped the waist of his pants and walked backward, pulling him into the bathroom. Sporty pushed the door shut behind him, and let Roxanne tug him across the room until her hips bumped against the edge of the sink. Roxanne leaned back, looking up at him and biting her lip. He gazed down at her, his hands on her hips, and kissed her. She kissed him back, but then turned her head. “At some point,” she said, “we have to talk about where we are going.” “We do,” he replied, “but we ain't got to do it right now.” She draped her arms over his shoulders and they exchanged a long, hard, tongue swirling kiss. Sporty's hands moved to her breasts, squeezing and caressing them, while Roxanne dropped her hand down to rub his stiff cock through his jeans. “I think you've got something you want to give me for Christmas,” she whispered. “I don't know,” he said, “I don't think you've been a very good girl.” “Do you want me to be a good girl?” “Aw, hell no,” he said. He took a half step back, seized her waist and spun her around to face the sink. Her Santa hat fell off, landing in the basin. He ran one hand down between her legs and cradled her chin in the other. “Look at you,” he whispered in her ear. Her glasses had slipped down her nose. She pushed them back into their proper position and gazed at herself in the mirror. “Look and see what I see.” Roxanne looked at his eyes in the mirror as his hand rubbed and squeezed her pussy. “Don't look at me, look at you.” She stared at her own reflection, resisting the temptation to watch as he unfastened her jeans and pushed them down over her hips. But when his fingers slipped inside her, she leaned her head back and kissed the side of his neck. His fingers probed deep into her, his thumb played with her clitoris. She reached back and rubbed his crotch. She fumbled at his belt until he gently pushed her hand away and undid it himself. Roxanne felt his cock bump against her ass, then slip down between her thighs. He placed his hand between her shoulders and gently pushed her down until her elbows were on the sides of the sink. She picked up her Santa hat and put it back on her head. Sporty kneaded her ass, then spread her thighs, pressed the head of his cock into her pussy and began to fuck her with long, smooth strokes. Clover snickered when she saw Sporty disappear into the women's bathroom. Get your figgy pudding, girlfriend, she thought, don't go until you get some. She walked to the counter and got a refill on her Mountain Dew, then stopped and listened for a minute. The sound wasn't loud, but she could hear them in the bathroom. They were definitely fucking in there. As she walked back to the booth, she saw the goth girl looking toward the bathroom. She glanced up at Clover with a smirk. Clover winked at her and sat back down in the booth. A few minutes later, the skinny goth kid leaned close to the window and peered out. He wiped away the condensation with his sleeve and looked again. “Fucking cops,” he muttered. “What cops?” Clover asked. “Cop car just pulled up.” “Oh, shit,” Clover muttered. She looked toward the bathroom. She couldn't hear Roxanne and Sporty where she was sitting, but there was no doubt that when the cops walked in, they would. They had to walk right past the bathroom to get to the counter. One of them might even go into the mens' room. She thought about warning them somehow, but didn't think there was enough time. That was confirmed when she saw the cops approaching the door. She had to do something. Just as they reached the door, she began singing at the top of her lungs. You better watch out, you better not cry, you better not pout, I'm telling you why. The goth girl looked up at her and immediately realized what she was doing and joined in. Santa Claus is coming to town. The cops walked in. One was an older man. His eyes and shoulders both drooped. There's another guy doesn't want to be working on Christmas Eve, Clover thought. His partner was a young, thin black man. They walked right past the bathroom to the counter. He's making a list, He's checking it twice. The other goth kids joined in the singing. He's gonna a find out who's naughty and nice. The old couple began to sing along. Santa Claus is coming to town. The two cops stood by the counter, looking around the room. Julio approached the cash register. The older cop leaned in and spoke to him. Julio pointed to Clover and the cop looked over at her. He nodded, then spoke to Julio again. He sees you when you're sleeping, He knows when you're awake He knows if you've been bad or good, So be good for goodness sake Julio handed each of the cops a bag of burgers and a cup of coffee. Now get the fuck out of here, Clover thought, but instead of leaving they walked toward her. The older cop held out his hand. “Awfully nice thing for you to do, ma'am,” he said. The other customers kept singing. Clover shook his hand. The younger cop shook with her as well. They turned toward the door, tipping their hats to the older couple as they went by. The older cop walked out just as the customers were finishing the last chorus, but the younger cop turned and went to the counter. He held out his open bag toward Julio. “Could you toss a couple of ketchups in there?” he asked. Julio nodded and dropped a handful of packets in his bag. “Thank you, Merry Christmas.” he said, then waved to the customers. “Merry Christmas, everyone.” He took two steps toward the door and stopped and looked toward the bathroom. Clover could hear Roxanne moaning from where she was sitting. He looked around the room. “Does anyone know who is in there?” he asked. “Yes, officer,” Clover said, “That's my friend. I'm afraid she ate a few too many of these gut grenades. You know what they can do to your digestion.” “Yeah, we all been there once or twice, I suppose,” he said. He went to the door and started to open it, then stopped, obviously listening to the sounds emanating from the bathroom. He turned and looked Clover in the eyes. An amused expression crossed his face. He winked at her and walked out. Roxanne had already come twice when she heard the singing. She thought it was just in her head until Sporty paused between thrusts and muttered, “What the fuck is that?” “Jesus, don't fucking stop,” she groaned. “Oh, you need some more of this dick?” “Goddamn it, yes, Sporty, fuck me.” He gripped her hips and began slapping his loins against her ass harder. She braced her hands against the mirror and shoved back against each plunge of his cock. “You getting kind of loud,” he told her. She dropped her head and her Santa hat fell off. She grabbed it and bit down on the white felt ball to keep from crying out. But after a minute or two, she let go of it, unable to keep from moaning loudly each time he jammed his cock deep inside her. She looked up at him in the mirror. Their eyes met, and the look of passion on his face pushed her over the edge into another orgasm. Before it subsided, she felt him stiffen, jerk his cock a few more times and withdraw, as his hot cum ran down the inside of her thigh. “At least they stopped that fucking singing,” Sporty said as Roxanne cleaned herself up. He picked up her Santa hat from the floor, brushed it off and stuck it back on her head, then unlatched the door. “Hold on a minute, babe,” Roxanne said. She raised her face and kissed him. “I'd be happy to go to your mom's tomorrow.” “Damn,” he said with a wide grin, “All I had to do was fuck you real good?” “You always fuck me real good.” “Then I will always get my way, right?” “Don't push your luck,” she said, opening the door. As they came out of the bathroom, the goth kids were walking toward the exit. “Merry Christmas. And thanks,” the girl said. “Yeah, thanks,” skinny kid said as well. The big kid stopped, looked at Roxanne and held his fist out toward Sporty. “Yo,” he said, “You da dawg, bro.” Sporty bumped fists with him. “Fucking white kids,” he muttered, chuckling. They slipped back into the booth, where Clover was waiting for them with her arms crossed and a smug expression on her face. “What was that singing?” Sporty asked. “That was me saving the you two fuckpuppies from spending Christmas in the slammer.” “What are you talking about?” Roxanne asked. “A couple cops came in here while you were getting your stocking stuffed. We were singing so they wouldn't hear the noise you were making.” “We weren't making that much noise.” Sporty laughed. “Girl, you loud as hell.” The old couple came to their booth and thanked them for their burgers. “Merry Christmas,” the man said, shaking all their hands. “There is a special place in heaven for you ladies,” the woman said. As they walked away, Clover said, “You think there is a special place in heaven for us?” “If we died tonight, we might at least be able to make a case for it,” Roxanne said with a shrug. “And by next week, we are fucked again.” Julio came out of the kitchen with a damp rag and wiped the table where the parking guys had been sitting. “Hey, Julio didn't vote,” Clover said. She called to him. “Julio, how many reindeers does Santa Claus have?” Julio looked at her with a perplexed expression. “I don't know,” he said. “You know, like in the song. Dancer and Prancer and Donger and Blitzkin…” “Donger?” Roxanne asked. Julio shrugged. “I don't know that song.” “You don't know it? What the fuck country are you from?” He stared as her and said, “Colombia.” “Oh. Shit. Sorry, I wasn't trying to be rude.” “She doesn't have to try,” Roxanne said, “It's her default mode.” Julio shook his head and returned to the kitchen. “Give the brother a break,” Sporty said, “He's from South America. What the fuck he gonna know about reindeers? Ask him about llamas, he'll probably tell you everything you ever wanted to know.” “I can't think of anything I want to know about llamas,” Clover shot back. “But I do feel kind of bad for the guy. I mean, he'd have had a lot easier night if we hadn't come in here and bought burgers and shit for everybody.” “It's his job,” Roxanne said with a shrug. “Yeah, and we fucking threw a fit because we had to work on Christmas Eve.” “You threw a fit. I didn't.” “You didn't like it.” “No, but I acted like a fucking grown-up about it.” “Yeah, but you have to act like one because you don't look like one.” Sporty looked in the bag. “Anybody want this last burger?” he asked. Roxanne and Clover shook their heads. Sporty bit into the burger, swallowed and said, “You feel so bad for the guy, why don't you do something nice for him for Christmas?” “Like what?” Clover asked. “Like what the fuck you think?” Sporty asked. Clover looked at him for a minute, then tipped her head to look past him. Julio was wiping off the service counter. “He's not a bad looking guy,” Roxanne said. “Well then, why don't you go do it then?” Clover asked. “I wasn't a twat to him.” “Besides,” Sporty said with a grin, “she already got hers.” “I ain't gonna fuck him in the bathroom,” Clover said. Roxanne laughed. “The bathroom is clean, at least.” “You don't think I will do it, do you?” “Bitch, I stopped trying to figure out what you would or wouldn't do about the time you set my boyfriend's car on fire,” Roxanne said. Julio disappeared into the kitchen. “Fuck both of you,” Clover said. She got up and followed him. “Hey, Julio,” she called. He was standing at the dish sink and turned around at the sound of her voice. “Listen, dude,” she said, “I hope I didn't say anything that offended you or got you upset or what not. That's just me clowning around.” “It is fine. I understand.” “Well, I think we put a lot of extra work on you tonight, coming in here and disrupting and shouting and singing and all.” “No, it is fine, Missus.” “Well, it's Christmas and all that. I'd like to maybe give you a little something for your trouble…” Julio waved his hands. “No Missus, we are not allowed to except tips.” “Yeah, I wasn't talking about giving you money.” She looked around and saw an open door at the back of the kitchen. She walked to it and peered into a dark room. “What's in here?” she asked. “That's the manager's office.” Clover walked in and flipped the light switch. A large flat top desk against the far wall nearly filled the room. There was a faux leather swivel chair in front of it. Clover plopped down into it, spun around, and put her feet up on the desk. Julio stood in the doorway, looking nervous. “The manager does not like anyone sitting in his chair,” he said, “No one is allowed.” “But you're the assistant manager right?” “Si.” “So when he ain't here, you're the fucking manager and it's your chair.” “I do not think so…” “And I am your guest, so I can sit in your chair.” “Missus,” he said, “I know it's a foolish rule but I need this job.” “Do you think I'm gonna tell anybody about this?” Julio looked at her with a puzzled expression. “About what, Missus?” “First of all, stop calling me Missus. Then come over here and find out.” She sat up, put her feet on the floor and patted the top of the desk. Julio leaned back and looked around the kitchen as if he suspected someone might be lurking there. Clover patted the desktop again. “The boss told you not to sit in his chair, but he didn't say shit about sitting on his desk, did he?” “No. I suppose he did not.” She pushed the chair back until it banged into the wall. “So have a seat.” Julio bit his lip, seeming lost in thought, then sat on the edge of the desk. “Dude, lose that dumbass apron.” Julio reached behind his back and untied the apron. Before he could pull it over his head, Clover had his belt unbuckled. He watched with an expression of amazement as she deftly unsnapped his waistband, yanked down his zipper, and pulled his cock free. “Do all the men in Columbia have big dicks?” she asked as she wrapped her hand around it. “Si,” Julio said, “It is well known in Latin America, Missus.” “You call me Missus again and I might bite it off,” she said. She flicked her tongue at the head, then wrapped her lips around it and began to suck. Julio briefly lifted his hips from the desk and tugged his pants and shorts down to his thighs. Clover cupped his balls in her left hand, massaging them, while her right hand stroked his shaft. She took it in her mouth again, but almost immediately, she heard a chime ringing. She raised her head and asked Julio, “What the fuck is that?” Julio had a look of panic on his face. “Someone is at the drive-through,” he said, “I must go serve them.” He started to rise, but she put her hands on his hips and pushed him back down. “No, fuck that,” she said, “Stay right there.” She got up and rushed to the dining room. Roxanne and Sporty were sitting in the booth, kissing. “Hey, you fucking lovebirds, I need help here,” she shouted. When they looked at her in surprise, she said, “There's somebody in the fucking drive-through. Either of you guys ever work at a fast food place?” “I worked at Burger King in high school.” Sporty said. “Well, pry Roxy's hand off your whopper and get the fuck in here and find out what they want.” She disappeared back into the kitchen. Roxanne and Sporty looked at each other and shrugged. “I'll give it a try,” Sporty said. He slipped out of the booth and headed toward the kitchen, Roxanne following close behind. “It's like somebody told Santa they wanted a shit show for Christmas,” she muttered. Sporty went to the drive-through window and looked around. “Fuck. I don't know how to use this touchscreen shit,” he said. “Can you at least talk to the guy?” Roxanne asked. “Yeah, that shit looks the same. Hold on.” He was distracted by the sounds coming from the manager's office. “What's she doing in there?” he asked. “Sounds like she's sucking his dick.” “Damn, she's loud, too. Sounds like somebody got a rag stuck in their wet-vac.” He pressed several buttons on the communications panel, but nothing happened. He fiddled with the volume knob, and clicked the headset on and off, all to no avail. Suddenly, he was startled by a blasting horn, and looked over to see a white pick up truck right outside the window The driver, a large, red faced, bearded man, was glaring at him. “Honey, I don't think that's Santa Claus,” Roxanne said. Sporty slid the window open. “I've been out here trying to order for ten fucking minutes,” the man shouted. “Yeah, sorry about that,” Sporty said. “We got some kind of computer problem.” The man looked past him at Roxanne. “Looks to me like the problem is you're having some kind of party in there.” “Naw, she's the manager. She come in to try to fix it.” “So why isn't she fixing it?” “Sir,” Roxanne said, “I'm sorry, but there is nothing we can do about it until the tech guys get here.” “I worked to midnight on Christmas Eve. All I wanted was some burgers for when I get home.” “I'll see what I can get for you, no charge.” She went to the grill. There were onions simmering in the corner and pre-cooked patties in a warming pan. She found a package of buns and put a half dozen on the grill to brown. The man tapped his fingers impatiently on the door of his car. “This is some bullshit,” he barked at Sporty, “You got something for me or not?” “Roxy is fixing it up right now.” “The manager's name is Roxy?” “Yeah, she was named for her grandmom.” Roxanne's glasses kept steaming up from the grill's heat. She did her best to assemble the burgers, but one got no onions, one had triple pickle and some were drenched with mustard and ketchup while others got no more than a drop or two. She boxed the burgers, stacked them in a bag, and handed it to Sporty. “About time,” the man grumbled. “What about a Coke? I need something to drink.” “Coming right up!” Roxanne said with a big smile. As she poured a Coke from the dispenser she thought, I hope those burgers give you the shits, asshole. Sporty handed him the drink and cheerily said, “Merry Christmas, sir.” The man growled. “Yeah, right. I guess the two of you can get back to whatever you were doing now.” “Thank you, sir,” Sporty said, “But we already finished that. Appreciate the thought though.” The man glared at them, muttered something underneath his breath, and drove off. “What did he say?” Roxanne asked. “I didn't catch in, but I think one of the words started with an F and one with an N.” “Feliz Navidad?” “Most likely not.” “Should we figure out how this works, in case someone else pulls up?” “How long Julio gonna take getting his nut?” Roxanne shrugged. “Hold up,” Sporty said, “I got a better idea.” He walked to the back door, opened it and, looking outside, flicked a couple of light switches on the walk. “There you go,” he said. “What did you do?” “Turned off the outside lights, so the place looks closed.” Clover took Julio's cock into her mouth until she felt his pubic hair tickling her nose, then swallowed. That will keep him from trying to go see what's happening in the kitchen, she thought. When she was out of breath, she rose up, releasing his cock with a loud popping sound. She circled the head with her tongue a few times, then dove down and swallowed again. It was late, she was tired, her jaw was starting to ache and her belly was rumbling in complaint over its load of greasy hamburger. She sucked in her cheeks as hard as she could, and Julio exhaled loudly and raised his hips from the desk. As she lifted her head, Julio spurted into her mouth. She swallowed most of it, then picked up his apron off the desk and wiped her face with it, surreptitiously spitting out the rest of his load. He leaned forward, his head hanging low, while he recovered his breath. Clover stood up, and loudly burped. “Sorry about that,” she said. Julio stood, pulling up his pants. “It is okay, Missus.” They walked into the kitchen. Julio immediately noticed that it was dark outside the drive through window. “You friends, I think they turned off the lights,” he said, “I will have to turn them on and to see what else they might have done.” “Okay, well, Merry Christmas, dude.” “And to you, Missus.” Clover turned away, but he added, “Missus?” She looked back. “Maybe you will come for hamburgers again.” Clover looked him over. “Yeah, I might.” Roxanne and Sporty were sitting in the booth when Clover returned to the dining room. Roxanne was leaning against him, her head on his shoulder and her eyes shut. Clover sat down across from them. “You guys about ready to go?” she asked. Roxanne sat up straight and stretched. “Yeah we might as well,” she said. Sporty looked out the window. “That sleet shit turned into real snow,” he said. He nudged Roxanne. “Let me up, baby.” She stood and he slid out of the booth. “Give me your keys,” he said, “I'll get your car warmed up.” She fished her keys out of her purse and handed them to him as he put on his coat. Watching him walk out, Clover said, “When a man cleans the snow off your car for you, he's getting serious. Especially if he does it after you fuck him.” “I think asking me to come with him to his mom's house for Christmas shows that pretty good, too.” “So, stop being a fucking pussy about it. You think you're going to find another nice guy who is obviously crazy about you and doesn't give a shit what you do for a living?” Roxanne was silent for a minute. “It doesn't seem likely, does it?” she said at last. They kissed again and Sporty said, “You know, I had a lot of girlfriends before, but I never brought one home with me on Christmas.” She patted his cheek, kissed him and said, “I've had a lot of boyfriends before, but I never fucked one in the bathroom at White Castle on Christmas Eve.” She kissed him on the nose and dashed to her car, calling, “See you tomorrow, babe.” “It's about time,” Clover said, as Roxanne got into the drivers seat, “I'm freezing my tits off over here.” “That's because they're fake.” “Probably. They should've come with like a heater option.” “I wish I'd known it was a problem, I would have got you one for Christmas.” Clover reached across the console and squeezed Roxanne's hand. “Merry Christmas, Rhonda,” she said. Roxanne felt her eyes moisten. “Merry Christmas, Charlene.” The last display before the park exit, the grand finale, was a great arc of lights over the road. On the left, Santa rode in his sleigh, overflowing bags of gift boxes and teddy bears behind him. His reindeer stretched along the arc, their legs blinking in a dance across the night sky. At the right end of the display, Rudolph's nose glowed like a beacon. “Nine!” Clover shouted, “Bitch, count ‘em! nine fucking reindeers!” “Rudolph doesn't count.” “He counts in this town.” “Why? Because Parks and Rec says he does?” Clover sat back, her arms crossed over her chest in triumph. “Nine fucking reindeer,” she smirked. “Eight,” Roxanne muttered. “Nine.” “Eight…” By  MelissaBaby for Literotica

In episode six, we sleigh ride into the 1989 holiday film Prancer, featuring Boo, the real-life reindeer who brought the titular character to life. We recap, review, and wrestle with the big question: is this festive flick a holiday classic or a cinematic lump of coal? Along the way, we uncover some surprising movie magic about working with a reindeer on set and share our takes on the film's charm—or lack thereof. It's a lively discussion with just the right amount of holiday spirit!  The Hoofin' it in Hollywood podcast has been produced by Paul, Audrey, Melissa, and Jordan. Please note that this content is intended for entertainment purposes only. The views and opinions expressed are our own. For more information and links to the resources mentioned in this episode, please check the show notes or visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠bit.ly/hoofin-hollywood⁠⁠⁠⁠. If you found this episode enjoyable and wish to support the podcast, we kindly ask you to like, subscribe and leave a rating or review on your preferred podcast platform. Source materials. Sources with a ✨ are especially worth checking out Prancer (film) - Wikipedia Prancer (1989) - IMDb Reindeer - Wikipedia ✨ Lights! Camera! Three Oaks! The Making of Prancer ✨ ‘Prancer' Star Recalls What Worried Producers During Filming ✨ A PrancerPalooza of a celebration in Three Oaks - Great article from PrancerPalooza 2024 that was released after the recording of this episode ✨ The Alabama reindeer who starred in 1989's ‘Prancer' - al.com Book - Christmas Tales of Alabama Strange but true: Prancer flew to stardom from Alabama; Sami herders get high drinking reindeer urine (updated) - al.com 11 famous animals from Alabama's history - al.com 7 little-known Alabama ties to holiday movies: 'Nightmare Before Christmas' and more - al.com ✨ DEER BOBBY: Reindeer Inc. Still Breathing Life Into Christmas Dreams - Alabama Farmers Federation circlemichigan.com 'Prancer' Star Rebecca Harrell Tickell Recalls How Sam Elliott Became Her Dad on Set – 'He Was Really Tough on Me' [Exclusive] Actors Anonymous: Christmas Special: Prancer and Prancer Returns Things you didn't know about reindeer | AP News

Kris commissions his signature ‘Santa's Dildo'.By cb summers. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. When I woke up, I had a splitting headache. Blizzard was standing on a stool in front of my chair, licking the last of Sugar Plum's cum out of my beard with her long, sensitive tongue. She was wearing a white robe, one of Mary's new uniforms. I waited until she was done.“What time is it?” I mumbled.“Three hours after closing time,” she answered. “I'm glad the quitting bell didn't awaken you. It arose such a clatter.”I felt like throwing up. Blizzard grabbed a trashcan without me even needing to ask. She always knew what I wanted before I did. She was such a good elf. She held the can under my mouth.“I don't feel so good.”“You drank too much elf milk. So did Indigo. I had to send her home early. Everyone else stayed late to get their work done, just in case you're wondering. And be of good cheer, your headache will pass.”I saw the ripped up shreds of the secretary costume in the trashcan.“How did you know?”“I saw how you looked at Holly. I knew what you were thinking. You wanted to anoint her, but you didn't because you loved Mrs. Kringle. But you don't love her any more, do you?”“No.”“I thought not. I am very perceptive. And I don't think you're going to vomit after all.” She was right. I was feeling better.She put the trashcan on the floor. “I suppose I should tell you that I encouraged Holly to present herself as a gift to you. I felt you needed it. It cannot be good to go so many years without anointing anyone. I even made the pretty underwear for her. I wore the same pair last night, though I had to take them in a bit.”“Really? Those were the same panties?”“Yes. Imagine my surprise when you passed on the opportunity. Humans. Very difficult to understand.”“It's a good thing I turned her down. I might have injured her.”“Yes, but I didn't know how large you were at the time. Your elf servants have seen you naked of course, but apparently you triple in size when you harden. I am perceptive, but I didn't think about that. Silly me. So, it's definitely a good thing you didn't attempt to mount Holly. She had a very small pussy.”“How do you know?”“Oh, I made love to her the morning after you turned her down… well, she looked so sad and so horny. She didn't like my tongue at first… it really is quite long, even for an Elf, but she quickly learned to enjoy it. And I learned to enjoy the flavor of human pussy. It's really quite nice.”Even all these years later, the thought of Blizzard going down on Holly was enough to give me a hard-on. “You… had sex with Holly?”“She'd done such a good job as my assistant, I thought it was the least I could do. I anointed her with my milk. She was very happy when she left.” Then Blizzard kissed me on the lips and said, “Thank you, Mr. Kringle, for the secretary's day gift.”I smiled. I felt warm and alive. “Thank you, Blizzard, for the fantasy come true.”She laughed a high, musical laugh. “My pleasure. But it was only fantasy for the first few minutes.” She squeezed my growing erection, “I've got to go home, Mr. Kringle. Maybe tomorrow.”She hopped off my lap and started walking toward the door. I looked around and noticed that the cum had all been cleaned up. I'd have never known an orgy had happened here, other than the stains on my own clothes.“Is that sort of thing normal for elves?”“Not really, Santa. We never have love-share during working hours.” She said as she was walking out the door.“Then why did you do it today?”“You wanted us to, of course,” With a wink of her eye, she closed the door. Blizzard was a perceptive elf, but not a wise one. She knew what I wanted without needing to ask, but she didn't seem to know that sometimes what we want isn't necessarily what's good for us.SCENE 5:SAVING CHRISTMASAs Kris told his story, he rarely looked at me but up at the ceiling instead, perhaps afraid I might be judging him. He needn't have worried. I was sitting cross-legged on the other bed, listening with rapt attention, totally turned on. During his story he'd grown hard every time he got to one of the ‘good parts'. But each time he'd brought his knees up to hide what was happening. But I could see the outlines of his massive shaft inside the loose fitting trousers. I found myself salivating, itching to slip onto his bed and unleash his manhood. But I had a modicum of willpower now, so I forced myself to sit still and listen.When he started describing the crazy elf orgy in his office his eyes glazed over, lost in his memories, unaware that he was getting hard. Much to my surprise and delight, Kris' cock grew larger and larger until his pants were tenting straight up a good ten inches. Then, when he got to the part of his story where he sodomized Blizzard, his cock grew even longer and slowly ripped through the fabric of his loose (but not loose enough) pants. My god! He wasn't lying, it could actually do that! I watched in amazement as the head of his massive pole emerged through the splitting seam, encased at first in his silky red boxers, which were decorated with Christmas trees. But soon the insistent bulge ripped through the silk too, and what to my wondering eyes should appear? Santa's fifteen inch cock! It was darker than the rest of his skin, ruddy and throbbing with his hot blood. The boxers and pants settled, revealing every inch of his throbbing Santahood. I thought he'd been bragging when he how big it was. But I shouldn't have doubted him. Kris Kringle never lies!I'd seen hundreds of cocks on my cross-country quest, from the tiniest little tadgers to the world's biggest pricks. I thought I'd seen them all, but I was wrong. This was definitely the biggest one of them all, by far! I don't particularly care how big a man's penis is when he's fucking me. It always feels great. In fact, anything over two inches thick is downright uncomfortable. But I've always loved to see and hold huge shlongs in my hands, ever since I'd given a bath to fake homeless Santa. Whenever I came across a hung Santa, I'd usually give him a hand job while he fingered me. Sometimes I didn't even need that much to have an orgasm, it was so exciting for me. So looking at Kris' abominable snowman made me instantly wet. I could barely concentrate on his fascinating story.When he finished talking about the orgy, his cock started getting softer, and he only noticed it when it flopped heavily over onto his thigh.“Damn it!” shouted Kris. He sat up in bed to cover himself. His cheeks turned beet red, “I'm so sorry. I hate when it does that!”“It's okay, Kris. Believe me, I've seen it all.” He smiled at me and fumbled his cock back into the ripped hole. I even enjoyed watching that. “I hope that's never happened when kids are around.”“No. I only see kids when I'm delivering toys, and to do that I need all my concentration on the task. I need to be filled, suffused with love and the spirit of Christmas. If I'm thinking about anything else… like naked elves for instance, I just can't do it. I mean, I have to fly my sleigh around to millions of houses in a few hours' time.”“Yes, how do you do that? I've always wanted to know!”“I don't know… I just do. I go into some sort of time warp, I guess. I don't know how it works. It just does. If I'm in the 'Christmas Spirit', that is.” The expression on his face suddenly became desperate and tears filled his eyes.Now I understood. I moved closer, sitting on the edge of my bed. “You're afraid you won't be able to get into the Christmas Spirit this year, don't you?”He burst into tears, holding his hands over his face, his secret fear spoken aloud at last. I moved to his bed and put my hand on his chest. “But what about last Christmas? You delivered the toys then didn't you?”“Yes, but with the added burden of the sex toy deliveries I missed almost twelve thousand homes! I had so send those presents in the… mail.” He said the last word as if it was the most shameful word in the English language. “This year, I don't think I'll be able to deliver any toys at all.” He began weeping again.Santa was a basket case.“Don't cry Kris. I'll help you figure it out.” But of course, I had no idea how. It had taken months for me to stop chasing Santas, even after I realized it was a self-destructive habit that was ruining my life. Christmas Eve was tomorrow! There was precious little time to quiet Kris' troubled mind.I lay down in bed next to Kris, and cuddled him, my hand on his belly, and my head on his shoulder. His strong arm hugged me lightly, but he didn't try to reach farther and feel me up. If he had, I don't know what I would have done.A dim light was coming through the window. Shit! I'd been listening to his story for so many hours, I hadn't noticed the time! It had to be after noon, because the sun was only up between noon and 2 in Alaska that time of year. But Kris felt so warm in my arms. I decided to give him a few minutes to cry softly, while I cuddled him and patted his belly. I closed my eyes… for just a second.When I woke up, Kris' cock had emerged from the hole in his pants again. It seemed to be towering above me. Then I noticed that my bare hand was wrapped around the base of it. Blitzen, it was warm! I could hear from his light snoring that he was asleep. I didn't move a muscle. I just looked at his cock, feeling his flesh in my hand. How long had I been holding it? There was something familiar about his cock… almost like I'd seen it before. Déjà vu… I watched as a tiny bit of pre-cum seeped out of the tip and dripped down the shaft. I stared in fascination as it made its long trip downward, until it spread out on my knuckle. What was I doing?I let go, and sat up. I looked at the clock. We'd been asleep for hours. It was nearly five P.M. on Christmas Eve!“Santa… Kris. Wake up,” I said, my back to him, not wanting to be tempted by the sight of his cock again. “It's Christmas Eve.”He woke up and cursed again at his misbehaving member.I laughed. “Maybe you should invest in some stretch-pants,” I said.He chuckled deeply. “I'm glad I amuse you so much.”I still had no idea what to do to help him, but I knew where to start.“Kris. You need to take me to the North Pole.”I said it firmly, in a no-nonsense way. He said, “Okay.”He'd parked his Sleigh behind a stand of trees a few hundred yards from the diner. My god, the reindeer were beautiful. They were huge and furry. I couldn't believe I was actually seeing them with my own eyes! Kris introduced them to me. Dasher and Dancer, Prancer and Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner and Sprinkles. Blitzen was apparently home, sick with a cold. As I met each reindeer I was amazed at how individual each one was. Some pranced and pawed, others just stared at me stoically. Apparently Kris understood their language, but I didn't. Just sounded like a bunch of honking and snorting to me.Santa had to hook them to the sleigh, because he'd unbridled them before coming to see me at the Moose Café. That actually touched me a bit. It meant he'd planned to spend some time chatting with me. Or maybe it meant he'd hoped to fuck me. Either way, it was touching.The sleigh was impressive for how unimpressive it was. In all the movies it's this super-amazing contraption. But Santa's sleigh is just an ordinary wooden sleigh with chipped paint and rusty old bells. It looked like it had been patched up a hundred times like the old junker I drove. When I climbed aboard, I didn't feel magical. I had imagined this moment my whole life, but it was actually quite ordinary. Just two people climbing aboard an old sleigh. Ho, hum.But then he shouted in his booming voice, “Dash away!” and the reindeer started galloping. The whole rickety contraption lifted off the snow, as if it were light as a feather. My heart leapt up in my throat! Now this was more like it! The reindeer hooves were now running in midair. We banked up steeply, twisting and dodging among the glistening treetops. I suddenly felt as if the sleigh were going to tip over, so I threw my arms around Kris and looked back to see the lights of Anchorage growing small behind us. The sky was clear. The storm had passed during the night. We were surrounded by stars, dancing playfully around the moon, illuminating a wonderland of snow below us. I held Kris Kringle tight. We snuggled up together, so comfy… so cozy were we.After a while I noticed something odd.“Kris. We must be a thousand feet up, in the arctic… but I'm not cold.”“Of course not. You're with me.”We were picking up speed, but I saw Kris pull back on the reins a bit. I understood. There were still things to be said, but he didn't know how to continue.I gave him a nudge, “So, what happened after the orgy in your office? It sounds like you'd sort of made your peace with the situation.”“Yes. That's right. I didn't have any more orgies for a while. But I did start sleeping with… I mean, fucking female elves, usually one to four at a time. I was shy about it at first, but Blizzard was happy to hook me up with any elf that caught my eye, as long as they weren't Mary's elves. But soon I didn't need help. I hung sprigs of mistletoe about the factory, and if any female elf happened to be standing under one, well she was fair game. It was really quite a fun, liberating time. But I missed Snowbell.”“You didn't see Snowbell?”“No. I asked around for her, but Mary made it clear that Snowbell was her elf, not mine. I didn't want to fight, so there wasn't much I could do about it. Mary and I… well we never talked about any of it. Eventually we stopped talking entirely. She never ate dinner with me anymore, but stayed over in her wing working on her project.”“So you never saw Snowbell again?” I felt sad. From his story, I could tell that Snowbell was special to him.He smiled, “I saw her one last time. She snuck into my bedroom one night. I awoke with her sucking my cock. She laughed and laughed when I woke up, thinking it was the funniest thing in the world. Then she got serious and said that she'd been wanting to see me ever so much, but Mary wouldn't let her. I could tell she was conflicted. She was still wearing her hair down as said she would, but she had no choice but to obey Mary. It was in her blood. So I asked her what she was doing in my room. She said Mary had sent her with a proposition. In exchange for one night with Snowbell, I was to donate something to the sex toy project.”“What?”“My cock.”“What do you mean?”“I asked the same thing and when Snowbell told me I had no choice but to comply. I would have traded anything for one more night with that little elf. We fucked for hours. I think we both knew it would be our last time. But before I was done, and when I was at my hardest and longest, Snowbell shaved all the hair off my cock and balls, and spread a molding compound around everything.”Oh, my god… could it be?“When Snowbell was finished she had a perfect cast of my cock and balls. She cleaned off the residue and we went back to fucking… making love, actually, until I fell asleep. When I awoke, Snowbell and the cast were gone.”I started breathing hard. Oh my god, I thought, I hope he tells me what I think he's gonna tell me!“I was sad. But Christmas was coming and I had no time to be maudlin. Anyway, a few days before Christmas Eve Mary finally showed me the sex toy she wanted me to deliver. Apparently, after all the product testing with all the crazy contraptions she could find, she'd determined that the classic sex toy would be best. The big giant dick.”I was right! I was right!“She'd turned the cast of my cock into this big rubber…”I interrupted him, shouting in delight, “…dildo that plays Christmas carols!”He looked at me and a big smile warmed his face. “Did you like it, Virginia?”Oh it was too wonderful for words. “Kris! You saved my life!” I stood up, jumped between his knees and threw my arms around him, kissing him with all my love. Kris Kringle had saved my life!We kissed for a long time. His cock got hard, emerging from the hole in his pants again. It moved up my belly and rested between my breasts, but I didn't touch it. I just wanted to kiss him and he wanted to kiss me. We explored each other's mouths for a long time, sometimes looking into each other's eyes. His azure eyes were the color of a clear blue mountain lake. Eventually his cock realized that I didn't want to fuck, and it shrunk again. I just wanted to kiss Kris Kringle on his sleigh, a thousand feet above the ground, as we crossed the Arctic Circle.When I'd had my fill, I stepped back and saw the quizzical expression on his face.“Thanks,” he said. “But I didn't save your life, Virginia. I just gave you a rubber cock. You didn't send me your customary Christmas list, so I had to put your name on Mary's sex toy list. I was… actually quite worried that you'd be offended by it. That was a pretty obscene Christmas gift. I almost refused to deliver them… but Mary had put so much work into her project, and I was so distracted by all the elf sex I was having, I just didn't have the energy to say no. But right before delivering them, I ripped all the 'from: Santa' tags off.”I put my hands on his fuzzy face. I loved him with all my heart. I'd always loved Santa. But now I loved Kris Kringle, and that's a different thing altogether. “Kris, I never really finished my story earlier. I think now's a good time to tell you how I finally got my shit together. And how you saved my life. ”“Okay”, he said.I kneeled on the bench next to him and held his hand as I talked. “Well, when I found out I was a truck stop whore, I was pretty ticked off, let me tell you. I didn't regret fucking and blowing scores of anonymous Santas. But the lying… it really pissed me off. So before that jerk of a truck driver came back from the shitter, I got behind the wheel of his eighteen-wheeler and drove off without him. He'd taught me how to drive it, the idiot. I headed straight for Alaska. I knew he wouldn't call the cops on me. I mean, what could he say to them? He was my pimp. I could easily prove that and put him in jail."I stopped for gas and Santa hunting all along the Alaska Highway. Fort Nelson, Watson Lake, Winterhorse… Everywhere I stopped I found Santas to kiss and suck and fuck, but they all turned out to be phonies. But I kept heart. I was on a holy mission. Something… some natural force in the universe was driving me to seek you out!”“Well,” he said, “You've finally found me.”I kissed him again, but briefly, and continued my story, “I was getting more and more desperate. By the time I reached Anchorage, Christmas was only a few days away. I started cracking up. I needed to find you… I knew you were in crisis… that you needed me. I was so desperate that I started questioning everything I knew about Santa, and I stopped looking for bearded, jolly, fat men. Now… any man would do. Any man at all as long as he was over thirty. I'd just walk into a gas station or a bar and start kissing every man in the place. Sometimes they'd chase me out… sometimes they wouldn't. Sometimes it ended up with me following them home or taking them back to my stolen truck. Sometimes I was flat on my back in the slushy mud of a freezing cold back alley. Sometimes it was more than one man at a time. One night, four days before Christmas Eve, I went into a sleazy bar, and I was gang fucked. I won't say gang-raped, because I enjoyed every fucking instant of it. There were ten or fifteen men there, all ages, all races, all sizes, fucking me one after another, filling my pussy with cum, shoving their cocks down my throat, jacking off all over my naked body as I lay on my back on the pool table. I loved it… but one by one I realized none of them were you. I begged them to call their friends, anyone, everyone, because Santa was out there somewhere and he needed me to fuck him!”“Oh, Virginia. I'm so sorry.”“An hour and eight men later, a woman came into the bar looking for her boyfriend. When she saw me naked on the pool table, dripping with cum, a line of men waiting for their turn on me, she fought them off and rescued me. I didn't want to leave, but by this time I was too exhausted to resist. She wanted to call the police, but I convinced her that they weren't raping me. I'd asked them to do it… begged them to. She gave me a t-shirt, since my clothes were back at the bar. Then she gave me some sleeping pills, and I fell asleep. But as soon as I woke up I ran straight out the door. Soon I was dashing through the snow, barefoot, going from house to house, looking for men."The first door I banged on was answered by a little old man, probably in his nineties, carrying an oxygen tank. He looked jolly enough for me. I kissed him like crazy, but the tubes that were blowing oxygen up his nose were in the way, so I got on my knees, unzipped his fly and went to town on his cock before he even knew what was happening. He got very hard, very fast. I gobbled on his knob until he shot his wad in my mouth. I looked up at his astonished face, and realized he wasn't you, so I apologized, and ran to the next house. Nobody home. Next house: a woman. Next house…"I found a middle aged man shoveling his sidewalk. I pushed him onto his back in the snow and started kissing him and rubbing myself all over him. I crawled up his body and rubbed my pussy in his face… I was naked under the t-shirt. He was too stunned to lick me or anything so I just fucked his face for a while. He took off his gloves and started feeling me up… my ass, my tits. Finally he started licking my pussy like crazy. That was more like it! I finally had a screaming orgasm. I was going to fuck him next, but I heard his wife in the house yelling, 'what was that noise, Frank? Are you okay?' Frank? Not Santa? I jumped up and ran off. Next house, nobody home, next house a woman making breakfast for her children."Next I came across a small church. I ran inside, intending to pray for you to find me, but instead I found the pastor polishing a candelabra. Soon, I was polishing his penis; first with my mouth, then with my pussy. He was an enthusiastic convert to the church of Virginia, because he bent me over on the railing they give communion at and fucked me from behind. Instead of shooting his wad in me, however, he had me kneel in front of him while he jerked himself off on my face. I looked up at him, my hands together, praying he would turn out to be the real true Santa. He wasn't. Just a perverted priest, led astray by a Santa-seeking slut."I was absolutely totally crazed, but happy, so happy! I felt as if I were fulfilling my purpose in the universe! I didn't even knock at the next door I came to. I just barged right in and saw a teenaged boy sitting in front of a television, playing a video game. He was definitely the youngest person I'd ever considered might be Santa, but by this time my standards had really slipped. It turned out later he was eighteen, but I didn't even think about it at the time. I just pushed his game controller aside, unzipped his fly and started sucking his cock. He couldn't believe what was happening. It was like his secret Christmas wish had come true. I heard later that he was a virgin. He isn't anymore. As soon as he was good and hard, I jumped on his lap and started fucking him. He was so astonished that he didn't even notice the preacher's cum dripping off my face. As I fucked him I lifted my shirt up and rubbed my breasts all over his face. His hard young cock felt so good inside me! I started having a screaming orgasm. Soon he started quivering, then he started cumming."That's when his mother came back from the store. She'd gone to buy a new snow shovel. When she walked in, she thought her son was being attacked by some wild woman from the woods… and I guess he was. She attacked me with the snow shovel.”I lifted up my bangs, to show the long scar I now had on my forehead.Kris' eyes were smoky with compassion. I noticed he had an erection from my story, but he'd put a blanket in his lap to cover it up. He leaned toward me and kissed my scar.I smiled, “There's another one on my thigh… I'll let you kiss that one later. That woman really did a number on me. She even knocked out my two front teeth. I still owe money for the implants. But… actually, she did me a favor. She stopped my ecstatic rampage. I woke up in the Anchorage hospital.”“Yes, I remember,” said Kris. “I'd wondered why you were in a hospital, but I couldn't stick around to find out. I still had millions of presents to deliver.”I put my hand on his cheek. “That's okay. Anyway, when I woke up, it was Christmas eve. I was scarred, and black and blue all over. A male doctor came in to see me, and the first thing I did was to try to unzip his fly to suck his cock. He backed off and I tried to get out of bed to get at him! He said there was a big suture on my thigh, so I needed to keep still. But I didn't care. The nurses had to restrain me… strap me to the bed so I wouldn't hurt myself. The doctor called in a psychiatrist. I was too crazed with desperation to lie, so I told her that I needed to find Santa, I needed to fuck him! I couldn't explain it. I just had to! She was very nice, but in the end she filled out some paperwork to have me transferred to a mental hospital in a few days. I knew what that meant. I'd be locked up! But later that night I was able to talk the nurses into taking off my restraints. They figured it was cruel to keep me strapped down on Christmas Eve. But they kept a sharp eye on me. I waited and waited for everyone to leave for the day. But I fell asleep, listening to the nurses sing Silver Bells as they exchanged presents out in the nurse's station. When I woke up, it was dark. No one was stirring.”“Not even a mouse?” asked Kris, smiling.“Not even a mouse. I snuck out of bed, determined to escape. I was going to run out into the cold dark night. It was crazy. The suture on my leg would have opened up. I'd have bled to death, or froze. I didn't care. I just needed to find Santa… but then… I saw it.”“My present,” he said, smiling.I nodded. “Your present. It was sitting right there, on the rolling tray next to my bed. A big, red, wrapped oblong box. I wondered if the nurses had left it for me. I didn't see a tag. I wanted to run… but I thought… maybe, just maybe, this present was from you. So I carefully unwrapped it, quietly and slowly so nobody would hear me. I was surprised as fuck-all when I saw what was inside. It said 'Santa's Little Helper' on the box, and had a small cartoony drawing of you. Most of the box, though, was clear plastic and I could see what was inside. A giant rubber cock, colored red and white in a spiral pattern, just like the North Pole. I started laughing. I thought, what the fuck is this? Who the hell gave this crazy thing to me? I mean… it was obscene! It was like, fifteen inches long, and four inches thick!” I mimicked the shape and size of it with my hands. He laughed.“When I saw your cock earlier, I should have recognized it. But the spiral red and white stripes must have thrown me off. And I never, even once, thought that YOU had given me that crazy cock! I took it out of the package, absolutely fascinated by it! I didn't know then what I found so fascinating. But… now I know. It was you, Kris. It was your cock. It was what I'd been searching for the last three years… but I didn't even know it! I held it in my hands, feeling its meaty weight… it's insane girth. In spite of the unrealistic coloring, it felt so realistic. I had a rubber cock once… it was all floppy, but this thing… well it was stiff as well as soft, just like a real cock. I knew it would never fit inside me… but I had to try it out. I lay back on my bed, my desire to run away suddenly forgotten. I lifted up my hospital gown and pulled my panties open. I put the head of that monster up to my pussy lips and began to masturbate my clit with it. It felt amazing. I have no idea why. My skin tingled at its touch. It began to vibrate, even though I hadn't turned on any switch. It was a soft vibration… almost undetectable, not like the crude buzzing that normal dildoes make. I started getting wet… and I mean soaking wet. I pushed the head of that thing between my pussy lips and it slid inside. I couldn't believe it. I'd never been able to enjoy the feeling of a big dick inside me, and this was bigger than any I'd ever felt before. It was mind blowing. Oh sure, it felt tight, but it fit! So I decided that it must have been designed to shrink in order to fit inside anybody, no matter their size, you know, like squeezing a sponge. Anyway, it felt good inside me, so I thrust it deeper and it really seemed to go farther than I would have thought possible. It was like a magic act really… the way it seemed to disappear inside me… all the way to the base. And weirdest of all… it was like I could feel all fifteen inches of it inside me, even though I know, for a fact, I am not fifteen inches deep!”Kris was surprised to hear all this. “I didn't know it did that. Mary didn't demonstrate it for me. Just loaded them up on the sleigh. Wow. Elf magic, I guess.”I giggled, “When it was all the way inside me, it started playing a Christmas carol. 'Santa Claus is Coming to Town'. I laughed out loud! I thought it was the craziest gift ever! I was so curious who'd left it for me so I could thank them! I grabbed it by its big, heavy balls and started fucking myself with it, and soon I felt so good, I forgot all about how weird it was. I was just fucking myself, feeling the vibration of the music deep inside me. I crammed it into myself for minute after wonderful minute, screaming into a pillow to stifle the sound. I had a powerful orgasm. Powerful."I lay back, the cock… your cock, still inside me, and I went into a post orgiastic state. But your cock wasn't finished with me! It started moving inside me, very slightly, just enough to keep my orgasm zinging, like it was a stone skipping across a lake. I don't know how long this lasted but when it was over… I was absolutely spent… and I felt content. My need to chase Santa had lessened. It was still there, but the hungry, insane desperation was gone. I pulled your cock out of me and lay in bed, hugging it to my belly like a pet, and fell asleep, getting the first really good night's sleep I'd had in two years.”I kissed Kris again. “Thank you for the present Santa.”“You're welcome, Virginia.”To be continued..By cb summers for Literotica

Dasher, Dancer, Prancer … und? Kennen Sie die Namen der neun Rentiere des Weihnachtsmanns? Ein Name, der Ihnen vermutlich gleich in den Sinn kommt, ist Rudolph – Sie wissen schon, dieses rotnasige Rentier, welches mit seiner leuchtenden Nase allen voran das Gespann mit den vielen Geschenken sicher durch Schnee und Nebel manövriert. Schnallen Sie sich gut an, denn wir folgen heute der Geschichte des schnellen Tiers. Herzlich willkommen bei Museum am Sofa, dem Podcast des Salzburg Museum. Mein Name ist Josef Kirchner und wir begeben uns auch heute wieder gemeinsam in die Geschichte Salzburgs.

Ho ho—hey, wait a minute. Where's my sandwich? It was right here, next to my thermos of eggnog, and now it's gone. *Gone!* I'll bet anything one of those mischievous reindeer nabbed it again. They've got no boundaries! Dasher's always sneaking into my lunchbox, and don't even get me started on Prancer. But enough about my *sandwich drama*—let's talk about something festive, spooky, and filled with far fewer hungry reindeer. This week, on a holly-jolly episode of *The Rotten Horror Picture Show Podcast*, Clay and Amanda are getting into the holiday spirit with the 2021 horror film *The Advent Calendar*. What's that, you ask? A horror movie about one of those countdown calendars stuffed with chocolate? Not exactly. This one's got curses, creepy little doors, and choices that'll make you think twice before you start popping candy out of a festive box. It's a chilling twist on holiday cheer, perfect for those of us who like our Christmas celebrations with a side of terror. Clay and Amanda, as always, bring the perfect mix of wit and insight to this yuletide horror gem. They'll break down the film's unique premise, its surprisingly emotional core, and whether an evil advent calendar is scarier than the family drama that usually accompanies the holidays. Spoiler: it might be.So, grab your cocoa (but guard your snacks—trust me), and join Clay and Amanda for a festive fright fest that's sure to deck the halls with screams and existential dread. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got a very suspicious-looking Rudolph to interrogate. Seriously, who steals a Santa impersonator's sandwich? That's *not* in the holiday spirit. Anyway… enjoy the show!www.patreon.com/thepenskyfile

In this episode I explore the history of the filming of the movie Prancer which is celebrating its 35th anniversary this year. Information in this episode comes from an article written by Nick Bogert of the Region of Three Oaks Museum in the Michigan History Magazine Nov/Dec 2024 edition. For more information on Michael Delaware, visit: https://michaeldelaware.com

Two Turtle Doves, or Dildos?Based on a post by SandyMarl, in 4 parts. Listen to the ► Podcast at Steamy Stories. Dana returned to the kitchen as Orlando was finishing drying the stemware. She leaned back against the counter, crossing her arms in front of her tits as she tried to give a confident look, though a drunken squirrel was racing around inside her chest.Orlando folded the dish towel, set it down as he stepped to her side. He reached around her waist and pulled her close, brushing her hair back, he whispered into her ear, "Strange as it is, there are some people who have a difficult time accepting good things that are given to them. You have been given a set of good and close girlfriends Dana." Orlando placed his fingertips at the base of her jaw, "Your pulse is beating hard, I sense that you are understandably nervous to find yourself in a position to accept or reject a special, intimate gift that has been tenderly offered to you." Continuing to whisper into her ear in a mesmerizing, deep masculine voice. "It is my hope that you will be accepting of all the pleasures and dreams which are before you."Dana gulped, wanting some words to come out of her throat, but nothing happened. She wasn't sure if those stuck words ever made it onto her tongue what they would say to Orlando's proposition. She liked the idea that they could be a 'yes', but something held her back from giving an answer. She let her emotions bubble hot inside of her, waiting until they were ready to come out in their own time; she wished and hoped they'd be an accepting 'yes', but she wasn't sure.The roaming fingers of her cooing partridge traced down the side of her neck, parting her collar from her prickly, heated skin. His fingers found her bra strap and followed it lower along the pathway that brought his touch to the slope of her tit. With one hand, the tips of his fingers ran along the upper rim of her black lacy cup while the other hand undid the top button of her blouse. Orlando breathed his warm, moist breath into her ear. "You've changed into something lacy since I've arrived," was Orlando's observation. "You have not given me a spoken answer as to whether you'll accept an intimate gift, but I have gotten your subtle answer by my discovery of your hidden charms. You are a charming woman," Orlando breathed into her ear in a husky voice, and then gave her a small kiss on the cheek.Dana let out a small moan as she unconsciously tipped her head back, exposing her throat and lifting her tits as Orlando teased her flesh as he continued with his light touch running along the contours of her bra. Her gift lover recognized the moan, the short breaths, the exposed throat and the visible flush of her chest as the tell-tale signs of a woman drifting into seduction. Dana didn't have to speak; she had already extended an invitation in the wordless language of lovers for Orlando to take her wherever he wanted to go.Orlando worked deliberately, unfastening each button as he pressed his warm lips to her throat followed by tiny, wet touches with the tip of his tongue. Dana let his attention wash over her skin, floating on warm waves that rippled through her insides. With the bottom button undone, he rolled his fingers around her cups, petting her ribs before setting his fingers between her fingers, lifting their entwined hands and guiding Dana out of the kitchen, floating toward the back of the house.Lifting her unfastened shirt off her shoulders, Orlando tossed it over a chair in the corner and then pressed her with his palm, forcing Dana to fall back onto the bed. Dana landed on her back with a giggle, loving the feeling of being desired and taken. She placed her hands behind her head, accentuating her tits covered in the gossamer black fabric of her cups. She relished watching Orlando, waiting to see his next move.Orlando reached into the side pocket of his jacket, tossing a small bottle onto the bed. "What's that?" asked Dana from her reclining pin-up girl pose."Consider it 'partridge oil,' my little chickpea. Some of us more experienced partridges find that a dab or two on a partridge's pecker makes for smoother night's nesting in our chosen pear tree."Dana broke into a broad grin, "I never knew partridges were such considerate birds," she said."Not all partridges are, some will leave droppings on your car. But when a partridge finds an attractive limb or two, we partridges are known to be considerate nesters." Orlando tossed his jacket over the back of the corner chair and then stripped off his shirt, shoes and socks."Now, I believe this old, experienced partridge has found a pair of attractive limbs that interest me a great deal." Orlando crawled onto the bed, unsnapped Dana's pants and pulled them off as she lifted her lower limbs skyward. Orlando admired her matching lacy black panties for a moment before he swooped in and removed the pair just as he'd done with her pants. "Ah, there is a pretty little partridge nest at the top of a pair of attractive limbs," announced Orlando, more to himself than to Dana.Dana felt shy, but at the same time pleased to be the object of a man's intimate attention for the first time in a long time. She lay on the bed, her cunny and pubic hair exposed to Orlando's admiring eyes while still trussed up in her bra. She squirmed over to retrieve the bottle of lubricant that Orlando had tossed onto the quilt. She shook it in front of the shirtless man lying next to her, teasing him she asked, "Don't you have to molt or something before this 'partridge oil' can be applied to your pecker?" She was pleased to see the fabric at his crotch stretched over a nice, rigid form."I'm getting the urge to roost, but I'd enjoy a little more playtime." Orlando tucked his targeted pear tree under the heavy quilt, slipping under to join her. He pulled her over to cuddle next to him. He slipped her straps off her shoulders, massaging and nibbling at her back as he unhooked the last of her garments, discarding it over the side of the bed. He rolled her onto her back, cupping and squeezing her tits as he kissed her arms, working his lips to the top of her tit, bunching her tit in his firm grip as he pushed her erect nipple into his mouth. He inhaled her exquisitely sensitive titty tip with a vigorous suction that filled his hot, wet mouth. His tongue darted and circled around her puffed up bits, sending sparks shooting into her clit. He worked her fleshy mounds over with his mouth, drooling over her melons and adding to the juicy wet sensation she was getting between her thighs.As he lapped at her nipples, caressing, licking, squeezing and mashing her mammaries with his right hand, his left hand traveled across her belly, inching its way lower on her body. Dana opened herself, thrilled to once again feel the pleasure of a man intimately handling all of her excited girl parts. Her cunny was more than moist, her breathing shallow and her brain swimming in a warm fog. Dana arched her hips as Orlando's hand petted her bush; her little princess ached to once again be embraced by a dancing partner. It has been so long. Her warm, buttery inner parts were feeling more wonderful than she ever remembered.Orlando's fingers passed over her dewy vulva with a firm pressure. His hand made a tight circular grinding motion before he spread her puffy lips open, probing along her slick walls, climbing up her canyon. Dana held her breath, she wanted to squeal before he got to her clit, but she held her silence with closed eyes, letting the anticipation of first contact build in her lungs and in her loins.Orlando's fingertip crept up the underside of her rigid clit, painting her in her own sex juices. He circled her aroused bud, triggering a flash of blue electricity that shot under her skin to her toes. Dana's hips bucked; her ass arched as she pushed her sex trigger into her lover's fingers. He ran a couple of his fingers into her slippery cunny, drawing them up to her clit, bathing her in her own nectar. Dana burst into a series of brusque chirps, half-screaming, half-moaning as she was seized by convulsing and shaking legs. She choked out in shallow breaths, "Whoa, whoa, whoa. Oh god, oh fuck. Oh, fucking fuck."Orlando let her convulsions subside. Dana covered her eyes with her hands, gasping for breath as his fingers rested, half filling her pulsing cunny. "I could be wrong -- but I'm not; you have a lot more in the tank my little chickpea." Orlando stuffed his fingers further up inside her cunt as if he was taking the measure of her tank. He pulled out slowly, making sure he tickled her g-spot as he withdrew from her throbbing void."I might have forgotten about the next element in your Secret Santa swap tonight, except it is so fucking uncomfortable right now. I'm afraid you'll have to perform the final plucking of your evening's gift partridge. I will need the skilled digits of my beautiful assistant; would you please remove my remaining apparel. I have been instructed by the one who sent me, to inform you that there is a special package waiting for you underneath."With the glee of a young girl selecting her wrapped package from under the Christmas tree, Dana rolled on her side, unzipping Orlando's white trousers and pulling them off. His erection was obvious under his holiday themed underwear, yet it looked as if his underwear was packing more than expected. Curious about his cock and whatever extras accompanied his package, she tugged his last bit of wrapping away to reveal the full package. Dana whooped in surprise, and laughed a hearty laugh, admiring the red bow adding a festive cheer to his stiff prick. "Oh my! Is this all for me?" she giggled.Orlando shrugged, "I suggest you read the label. If it's not addressed to you, I've made a terrible mistake."Dana picked up the card hanging from the red bow, dangling below Orlando's Christmas balls: "On the First Day of Christmas, My True Friend gave to me, A Partridge in a Pear Tree. Dear Dana, I hope you enjoy the Christmas package I've selected for you. I've decided to exchange more than cookies after our usual Christmas Cookie Exchange. Dana, Merry Fucking Christmas! -- McNally."Dana let a little squeak escape, "This is all so very naughty."Orlando thrust his hips toward Dana, "Yes it is. Would you do me a favor and unknot me?" he said, shaking his boner in front of her to get her to remove the bow and gift card from his masculine package.Dana's eyes flashed with a mischievous grin, she wiggled her fingers in excitement before blushing as she reached to the base of the proud cock, lifting the elastic band at the base to un-decorate Orlando's extended organ."Thank you," was his response as his partridge cock was now as free as a bird. He searched the folds of the bed cover, looking to find the bottle of partridge pecker oil he'd tossed onto the bed earlier. Dana found it under her bottom, showing her find to Orlando."May I?" was her question as she managed a sheepish look up into Orlando's eyes."The pleasure would be all mine," he replied.Dana reached out to grab his manhandle, coaxing him into bed. She crawled over him, letting her tits hang down, dangling in his face. She dropped her shoulders, let one nipple land on his lips, he gave her a lick, and then she plopped her other nipple to his lips, receiving a second exhilarating lick. She scooted down, grasping the base of his cock, about to apply a dab of lube, when she thought better of her idea.She wrapped her fingers around his shaft, marveling at the inflexible piece of anatomy, trying to recall the fun of having a man's stiff cock penetrating her. It had been a while since she had even imagined enjoying the pleasure of a good fucking. She admired his towering erection, abandoned her last bit of hesitation holding her back and opened her lips and took him in deep. She moved her hands to his nuts, caressed them as she swabbed the hot pink shaft with her tongue. She sucked and stroked him, bringing him to maximum stiffness without a hint of gagging, feeling proud of her accomplishment.Orlando held her head tight between his hands as she bobbed up and down in slow, long strokes with her lips. Orlando's hands reached under her, grabbing a handful of titties in each hand, massaging her boobs and making sure she had her plush nips squeezed between his fingers just the right amount of rough, stimulating pleasure.Dana was getting lathered up again, her lady parts were plump and wet with the thrill of sucking a thick cock and the powerful handling of her tits, making her want that cock to leave her lips and tongue and find its way down to her labia and clit. Dana let Orlando's erection pull out of her mouth with a satisfying plop. She closed her eyes and made the deep humming sound of an aroused woman wanting and waiting to be taken.Orlando positioned his hand under her hanging udders, holding them in his solid grasp; he tilted her onto her back. Picking up the bottle of lube, he poured a small stream over her steaming cunt, rubbing his shaft with a second slathering. Dana's humming picked up in pitch as the cold lube oil fell on her labia, but Orlando's warm hands worked it into her soft girly flesh and made her feel happy and aroused to be pampered with floral scented oil on her feminine folds.Orlando had a well-oiled tool after a couple of strokes. He was eager to climb into his pear tree after great stimulating oral sex and the delight of handling Dana's attractive and suitably large and pendulous tits. He spread Dana's legs, pushing her knees wide after oiling her inner thighs. With a little bounce he crow-hopped between Dana's outstretched legs, landing on the gaping fruit of his pear tree. His partridge flew into her, surprising her with his sudden furious first fuck. He was thick and forced her apart, she felt stuffed; startled at the filling sensation, surprised at the penetration and swoopy with the undulating, gripping response of her unpracticed sex muscles to Orlando's perching inside her cunt.Orlando gripped her hips, Dana's legs pointed up as he pounded her with scooping, hungry thrusts of his hips, poking, prodding, pushing his pecker deeper into her ravenous nether regions. Her screams began with his first humping thrust; each blow between her legs brought a corresponding scream, he was the hammer, she was the anvil. The hammer hit her with shuddering force, the anvil of her sex rang out with each blow in an echoing scream of unbridled pleasure. She was being pounded into a form of malleable feminine flesh as her lover worked her over.Dana had been fucked many times before, she and Sander had made love, mad love, lazy love, hungry love and yet this was new for her. She let each throbbing thrust push her higher. She let Orlando's prick hammer her hard, pushing her to that orgasmic edge, an edge that was always a mystery. Dana never knew what was over the edge, at least not until she had been pushed over it and was falling into its abyss, filled with swirling clouds and tumbling waves of passion. She gave herself away, letting Orlando push her to the edge.She was hanging at the edge of her orgasm, she felt her lover's muscles tighten along his lean body, his breathing was labored, her desire was to feel him cum inside her. She wanted to give herself to him. In giving herself up to his explosive ejaculation, she would be blasted into deep space. The lovers would be swept away together in a perfect climax.Dana tensed in response to the man fucking her as he strained to gather his energy like a coiled spring planted deep inside her sex chamber. With a throaty groan, Orlando let his seed burst from his loins, flooding Dana with white hot fluid. She felt his release. His energy tripped her delicately balanced desire. Orlando's hot splash burst against the back of her vibrating inner hollow, exploding out through her lungs, rattling her pelvis as she shook and collapsed at its seductive power. The heat of her explosion radiated through all her muscles, warping the dimensions of her bedroom.Orlando rolled off her, pulling the heavy quilt over the two of them. He pulled Dana close to him, spooning with her as he buried his nose in her hair, letting his hand rest on her tit as dreams of sugar plums danced in their heads as they snuggled into a relaxed sleep like a contented partridge in a sweet pear tree.December's late sunrise was filtering through the blinds when Dana opened her eyes at Orlando's touch on her bare back. He ran his hand over her skin, rubbing the small of her back as she rolled over on her stomach. Waking up to a man's roaming hands was a forgotten pleasure for Dana. Her night's partner massaged her rump as she purred. Orlando gave her a light smack across her ass, whispering, "You have a beautiful pear-shaped ass, fresh and firm." He bent over and took a tiny nip at her flank, Dana flinched, then he kissed it all better."I regret that I have an appointment for later this morning. Please excuse me, but I will take my leave after a wonderful experience." Dana watched him dress from under a wad of sheets and blankets."Mr. Partridge?" she called as he moved toward the bedroom door, Orlando smiled and turned toward the nude woman lying in bed."Yes?" he asked in a jaunty tone."Tell McNally, 'Have yourself a Merry Fucking Christmas to one and to all', would you?"Orlando chuckled, "That sounds like an inside joke among The Chix. I'll leave that one up to you to deliver that message, my little chickpea." Orlando let himself out of the house. Two Turtle DovesDana was reluctant to rise out of bed; she wished she could linger under the covers with a lover all day. But she was resigned to the fact that the day had to move forward. She locked the door, put on a pot of coffee and made her bed. Her phone pinged. She went to find it and red the incoming text.It was from Annie, 'Clear your calendar this afternoon girl. I'll be delivering a holiday surprise package to your house. You will need to be at home to receive it!' Dana's first thought was, how sweet of Annie.She was expecting a visit from Annie when the doorbell rang mid-afternoon. Dana was surprised to see Nelson on her doorstep. "Is Annie with you?" Dana asked with a quizzical look and a realization that she was experiencing a flash of deja vu all over again.Nelson stepped into the house carrying a small gift bag and handed Dana a scroll tied with a white ribbon. "What's this?" Dana asked as she cocked her head, taking the scroll from Nelson. "This is all so mysterious - again," she said with her eyes and smile flashing in obvious enjoyment of the unfolding mystery in her entry hall. Dana ran her eyes up and down the broad, well-toned frame of the dark-haired man whom she had known as a friend for many years.Dana unfurled the scroll, feeling a hot flush ignite her face as she red Annie's words while her complexion blushed to contrast with the scroll's ribbon. Dana sucked in her breath; her eyes grew wide as she red what had just been handed to her. From what was written in the scroll, it sounded like Annie had sent her husband, Nelson over to her as a special gift. Nelson was here to give her 'a time of holiday magic.' Annie's introduction stated that 'Nelson was 'prepared to fulfill her wish list', and for this one time only, Santa would be unloading his sack and giving his gifts to one of the naughty girls on his list.' According to the instructions, all she had to do was 'to be swept away and be surprised by the goodies that were stuffed into her stocking.'Dana took another short breath as she finished reading; she understood that the text Annie had sent this morning was but a pretext, a set up. Her lips parted as she realized that there were waves of warm desire flowing in her center as she detected a sudden firming within her lady parts. She was pleasantly embarrassed as she felt another blush rise to her nipples, throat and face.Nelson stared at Dana, analyzing her expressions, making sure she had figured out the reason for his visit. Dana knew he was watching her for a sign of her willingness to have him romance the pants off of her. Nelson's stare made her feel bashful as she kept her secret of wanting to be desired and ravaged by a man who had been off limits -- until now.Nelson saw enough in Dana's eyes, shy smile and crimson blush to pursue Annie's plan. "You understand why Annie sent me over here, don't you?"Dana wanted to reach out to touch him to affirm that she did, but she kept her hands to herself. She folded herself up in a demure stance and waited for Nelson to make his move. "Annie said you might need some convincing, but that my appearance and purpose would not be a total surprise to you -- whatever that may mean." Nelson put his hands on her shoulders, whispered into her ear, "Merry Trystmas, from me and Annie to you."Dana spun away as Nelson was moving his hands toward her tits, but not too far away. "What's in the bag Nelson?" she said as she lifted her neck to peek at the gift bag on the floor behind him."Ah, glad you asked. Allow me to say that I have been sent to your lovely side in this special season and my quest is to hunt for turtle doves. It is my understanding that turtle doves always, always come in pairs. I am a connoisseur of turtle doves, and I will search high and low to find such a pair. I assure you that I will leave no stone, or garment, unturned in my assigned quest to find a pair of white turtle doves." Nelson lifted the bag, "May I share with you my turtle dove hunting strategy?" he asked as he nudged Dana into her kitchen.Dana crossed her arms over her chest, "I would be very interested in your proposed hunting strategy. But I've heard it takes a bit of skill and charm and a degree of luck to flush a pair of turtle doves out into the open. Is that true?" Dana rocked her shoulders in a coquettish fashion as she let Nelson follow her to the kitchen table."Luck, my lady, has nothing to do with it." Nelson put the bag of goodies on the table, "It is all charm and skill," he let out a good-natured laugh at his exaggerated sexual swagger to his longtime friend and with a little luck, soon to be lover. "Let me show you some of the enticing baits that have worked well for generations of turtle dove poachers. Nelson reached into the bag and drew out a small, ornate candy box.He handed it to Dana, "Go ahead, open it," he insisted. Dana removed the ribbon and lifted the lid. Inside were a half-dozen chocolate covered pecans clusters."Oh yes, I see why these might work. They're turtle candies -- like decoys. You're a very clever hunter Nelson. You say these are used as bait to lure turtle doves out into the open?"Nelson was pleased with Dana's playful reaction, "Yes indeed, that's the plan. It's in all the field guides that I've red. The use of these little chocolates makes me a master baiter."Dana snorted at Nelson's set up. "I guess I should've seen that cumming," she added once she'd caught her breath.Nelson nodded to her with a sly smile, acknowledging her playful comeback. "The old-time hunters have a saying, 'Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.' But I'm of the opinion that the hunt can be as much fun as the capture."Dana straightened her spine and rounded her shoulders to emphasize her cleavage as she smirked at the great hunter seated across the table from her. "When does hunting season open?""I got another trick in my bag." Nelson pulled out a squeeze bottle of chocolate syrup, holding it in front of Dana."Oh, you are a clever man, Nelson. I see what you've done; chocolate turtle decoys and Dove chocolate sauce, yes, quite clever preparations for a turtle dove safari." Dana was suppressing a giggle at the sight of Nelson's selected ingredients on her table. "But I have no idea how such items are combined with a hunter's skill and charm."Nelson snickered at Dana's pretend gullibility, "That's just the segue that an old, out of practice turtle dove hunter needs," he said in appreciation of her beguiling playfulness. "Allow me to demonstrate."Nelson held a turtle candy to her lips; Dana stuck out her tongue as he fed it to her. Dana licked and smacked her lips seductively as she devoured the bait. Nelson selected a second turtle, covering it with a squirt of chocolate syrup before he held it to her lips. Dana stuck out her tongue; Nelson missed her mouth, smearing gooey syrup over her chin and running down her jaw. "Oops. I might not be the skilled master baiter that I thought I was," he said as he picked up a napkin from the table. Nelson, dabbed at her face and neck, but ended up smearing the syrup into a larger mess. "Oops. How clumsy of me. This isn't working so well, let me try something else." Nelson moved in close to Dana and began licking her face in long, slow scoops. Dana held still as he worked his tongue off her chin and down her throat.Dana began to coo as she enjoyed the wet, messy sensation of being devoured."I hear the cooing sounds of turtle doves," whispered Nelson between his slow slurps mixed with kisses. "There must be a pair nearby. Let me see if I can sneak up on them.""I think they're hiding somewhere in here." Nelson inserted his hands under the front of Dana's blouse, rambling among the straps and cups. Nelson unbuttoned the upper buttons, reaching over to the bottle of chocolate syrup and dribbled a little stream on her throat. Dana tossed her head back, exposing the dark vein and inviting Nelson to clean her up with his tongue.Nelson sucked and licked his way down her throat to her chest while he finished undoing her top. After removing her shirt, he had her rise from her chair. He held his hands behind her head, working them down to her bra. With a deft snap of his fingers, Dana was undone. "Ah, these two turtle doves are too beautiful to be hidden away, caged and cooped up. Let me free these gentle beasts." Nelson draped her bra over the back of the chair before dribbling more Dove chocolate syrup on her upper chest."Yum, you taste so good for a bad girl." Nelson pushed Dana with his tongue and hands, making her lie back on the tabletop, tits up. More syrup was applied to her tits as Nelson dipped in, licking under her titties before grasping them like an ice cream cone and taking big licks across her accentuated nipples rising stiff and bright as a red, glowing holiday light atop the Christmas tree. Nelson's hot and eager mouth enveloped her exposed chocolate covered cherries; licking and smacking with his lashing tongue, rolling across her rounded holiday orbs, flush with excitement at the naughty attention they were garnering.Dana's pants and panties were off before she knew what was happening. She was bathed in ribbons of chocolate syrup from the tip of her two tits down to hip bones. Nelson lapped at her in a voracious, tooth-snapping fashion. He paused to admire her up-thrust boobs, "You are one of my new favorite Christmas treats; big, round teats like milky scoops topped off with tasty red berries, then covered in chocolate. Yum, yum-yum!"Dana had thrown her hands up over her head in sweet surrender as she was consumed figuratively by glowing desire and literally by the ravenous lips and tongue of her lover. She shifted further over the table, opening her thighs and dangling her legs off the table's edge, hoping she looked yummy and delicious. Offering herself as a holiday treat to the man she hoped to entice to keep on licking all the way down to her Christmas wonderland.Dana was not disappointed. Her bare chest was cleaned up well by Nelson's fastidious fussing over her naked body slathered in sweetness. Nelson let his tongue flow downstream, following the rivulet of syrup that ran along the contours of her body. Taking a seat in the chair Dana had just vacated, he pushed her thighs apart, running his fingers up from her knees to the intimate interior canyon that opened between her legs. Spreading her puffy, pink labia, Nelson held her open to peek at her engorged twat protruding beyond the folds of delicate flesh. Dana's half-hidden clit looked like a poorly re-wrapped gift after a curious child had taken a little peek underneath, unable to wait until Christmas morning to find out what was inside.Nelson's own package was straining to break out of his trousers and feeling even more uncomfortable with the bow and tag that Annie had made him wear before coming to seduce their friend Dana under the pretense of looking for two turtle doves. "Excuse me, I almost forgot, I have a package that is for you," Nelson mumbled as he looked over Dana's fuzzy pubic mound up toward her face. He stood, took off his blazer, shirt and boots and socks and then dropped his trousers.Dana lifted her head enough to see Nelson's erection had a pretty bow attached to its base. She exclaimed, "Is that package for me?""Read the gift tag," he said as he turned so that Dana red the attached card:"Dear Dana, I hope you enjoy the Christmas package I've selected for you. If you decide to be a bad girl this year, you may find a couple of turtle dove eggs laid upon your nest. Merry Fucking Christmas! Annie."Dana pulled off his phallic decoration, caressing his eggs after unwrapping his package. "The card says if I am a bad girl, my two turtle doves might get me laid and I might find a couple of eggs on my pussy's nest.""Ho ho ho, have you been a good girl or a bad girl this year?" Nelson inquired with a prurient interest as he filled her excited crevasse with a couple of slow, pumping fingers."I've been feeling so bad that I've been so good - that is up until recently. Now that I've become a bad girl, I've been feeling pretty good. Nelson, when you're looking over your list of who's naughty and who's nice; if I told you I want your hot cock stuffed down my chimney, would you hold it against me?"Nelson was in no mood to joke around now that his proud member was trimmed for action. He slipped his hands under Dana's ass, leaned into her cunt and gave her clit several flicks with his tongue. Dana squirmed and squealed at the soft, fleshy contact with her clit."Um, this is the moist wonderful time of the year," proclaimed Nelson as he came between her legs, driving into her cunt, stuffing her good and plenty.Dana's breath burst in a big whoosh as her sex muscles clamped down on the stiff man-flesh pumping into her pulsing parts. Nelson kept up a rhythmic pumping as he ran the pad of his thumb around her wild clitoris.Dana's hips bucked in response to the driving, throbbing action of a cock, forcing her intimate space to yield to its girth. Prickly sparks shot out into her toes as her twat was twiddled in a pool of chocolate syrup her lover had dripped over her pink jellybean.Dana's legs lifted into the air, she opened herself to a full throttle fucking. Nelson's bush-beating stick pounded her flesh; each heavy pumping stroke pushed her higher and higher. Dana felt herself rising to her orgasmic peak.Nelson could feel the sexual tension inside her as she offered counter thrusts. He could hear her swelling orgasm in her swooning moans. He continued his pace, knowing it was driving her toward a shattering orgasm.Dana threw her hands over her face in ecstasy as the building orgasm exploded in her core, blasting away her breath as she barked out short, sharp moans. She was a hot pool of jelly on her kitchen table. She was a mess with chocolate syrup making her skin sticky sweet as it mixed with her salty sweat and gushing love juices.The fantastic vibrations echoing in her cunt were starting to mellow when Nelson reached under her and flipped her tits-down and had her spread eagle across the table. She lifted her hips as Nelson grabbed her ass cheeks, presenting her cunt for a doggy-style penetration. Nelson poured chocolate syrup over his turgid phallus and flew at her gaping cunt with a hearty and lusty thrust. He gave her a sharp spank that cracked across the kitchen as he yelled,"On Dasher, on Prancer, on Boner, oh fuck I'm Blitzen!Oh fuck, I'm cumming in your chimney tonight."Nelson pumped her cunt, poking Dana deep, she was moaning with every thrust and every command to his flying, fucking reindeer. Another spank on her flank and Nelson grunted as he stuffed himself deep into her consuming cunt. He held her ass tight to his balls as he shot a blizzard of white cum into Dana's happy cunt.Nelson dropped back into the chair, looking exhausted and quite pleased. Dana was warmed to see Nelson looking so satisfied. She gave him a kiss and then shook her tits, slapping his cheeks with her chocolate syrup painted orbs, making a bigger mess of his face.Dana crawled into his lap, feeling his used-up strength begin to fade. She was happy to have made such a big, fun mess in her kitchen again. "Come on. You're not done until you've cleaned your two turtle doves that you so charmingly flushed into the open." Dana led Nelson by the hand, pushing him into her warm shower where she joined him, making him soap up her lady parts and get them squeaky clean.They toweled one another dry, paying extra attention to those parts once dredged in Dove chocolate syrup, making sure all was spanking clean. Nelson tiptoed back to his pile of clothes on the kitchen floor, dressing himself and apologizing that, "There is some Holiday business I have to attend to at the station."Before walking back out through the door, he gave Dana a squeeze, "I'd fantasized about taking you on the kitchen table before, of course I never thought I would ever enjoy the opportunity. Honestly, Annie deserves a lot of credit for fulfilling my wish list - though I never mentioned this fantasy to her. She's uncanny sometimes." With a playful goose of Dana's two turtle doves, he whispered, "Merry Trystmas," shutting the door behind him as Dana heard a faint 'Ho Ho Ho' as Nelson flew out into the chilly December night. To be continued in part 3, based on the post by SandyMarl for Literotica.

Two Turtle Doves, or Dildos?Based on a post by SandyMarl, in 4 parts. Listen to the ► Podcast at Steamy Stories. Dana returned to the kitchen as Orlando was finishing drying the stemware. She leaned back against the counter, crossing her arms in front of her tits as she tried to give a confident look, though a drunken squirrel was racing around inside her chest.Orlando folded the dish towel, set it down as he stepped to her side. He reached around her waist and pulled her close, brushing her hair back, he whispered into her ear, "Strange as it is, there are some people who have a difficult time accepting good things that are given to them. You have been given a set of good and close girlfriends Dana." Orlando placed his fingertips at the base of her jaw, "Your pulse is beating hard, I sense that you are understandably nervous to find yourself in a position to accept or reject a special, intimate gift that has been tenderly offered to you." Continuing to whisper into her ear in a mesmerizing, deep masculine voice. "It is my hope that you will be accepting of all the pleasures and dreams which are before you."Dana gulped, wanting some words to come out of her throat, but nothing happened. She wasn't sure if those stuck words ever made it onto her tongue what they would say to Orlando's proposition. She liked the idea that they could be a 'yes', but something held her back from giving an answer. She let her emotions bubble hot inside of her, waiting until they were ready to come out in their own time; she wished and hoped they'd be an accepting 'yes', but she wasn't sure.The roaming fingers of her cooing partridge traced down the side of her neck, parting her collar from her prickly, heated skin. His fingers found her bra strap and followed it lower along the pathway that brought his touch to the slope of her tit. With one hand, the tips of his fingers ran along the upper rim of her black lacy cup while the other hand undid the top button of her blouse. Orlando breathed his warm, moist breath into her ear. "You've changed into something lacy since I've arrived," was Orlando's observation. "You have not given me a spoken answer as to whether you'll accept an intimate gift, but I have gotten your subtle answer by my discovery of your hidden charms. You are a charming woman," Orlando breathed into her ear in a husky voice, and then gave her a small kiss on the cheek.Dana let out a small moan as she unconsciously tipped her head back, exposing her throat and lifting her tits as Orlando teased her flesh as he continued with his light touch running along the contours of her bra. Her gift lover recognized the moan, the short breaths, the exposed throat and the visible flush of her chest as the tell-tale signs of a woman drifting into seduction. Dana didn't have to speak; she had already extended an invitation in the wordless language of lovers for Orlando to take her wherever he wanted to go.Orlando worked deliberately, unfastening each button as he pressed his warm lips to her throat followed by tiny, wet touches with the tip of his tongue. Dana let his attention wash over her skin, floating on warm waves that rippled through her insides. With the bottom button undone, he rolled his fingers around her cups, petting her ribs before setting his fingers between her fingers, lifting their entwined hands and guiding Dana out of the kitchen, floating toward the back of the house.Lifting her unfastened shirt off her shoulders, Orlando tossed it over a chair in the corner and then pressed her with his palm, forcing Dana to fall back onto the bed. Dana landed on her back with a giggle, loving the feeling of being desired and taken. She placed her hands behind her head, accentuating her tits covered in the gossamer black fabric of her cups. She relished watching Orlando, waiting to see his next move.Orlando reached into the side pocket of his jacket, tossing a small bottle onto the bed. "What's that?" asked Dana from her reclining pin-up girl pose."Consider it 'partridge oil,' my little chickpea. Some of us more experienced partridges find that a dab or two on a partridge's pecker makes for smoother night's nesting in our chosen pear tree."Dana broke into a broad grin, "I never knew partridges were such considerate birds," she said."Not all partridges are, some will leave droppings on your car. But when a partridge finds an attractive limb or two, we partridges are known to be considerate nesters." Orlando tossed his jacket over the back of the corner chair and then stripped off his shirt, shoes and socks."Now, I believe this old, experienced partridge has found a pair of attractive limbs that interest me a great deal." Orlando crawled onto the bed, unsnapped Dana's pants and pulled them off as she lifted her lower limbs skyward. Orlando admired her matching lacy black panties for a moment before he swooped in and removed the pair just as he'd done with her pants. "Ah, there is a pretty little partridge nest at the top of a pair of attractive limbs," announced Orlando, more to himself than to Dana.Dana felt shy, but at the same time pleased to be the object of a man's intimate attention for the first time in a long time. She lay on the bed, her cunny and pubic hair exposed to Orlando's admiring eyes while still trussed up in her bra. She squirmed over to retrieve the bottle of lubricant that Orlando had tossed onto the quilt. She shook it in front of the shirtless man lying next to her, teasing him she asked, "Don't you have to molt or something before this 'partridge oil' can be applied to your pecker?" She was pleased to see the fabric at his crotch stretched over a nice, rigid form."I'm getting the urge to roost, but I'd enjoy a little more playtime." Orlando tucked his targeted pear tree under the heavy quilt, slipping under to join her. He pulled her over to cuddle next to him. He slipped her straps off her shoulders, massaging and nibbling at her back as he unhooked the last of her garments, discarding it over the side of the bed. He rolled her onto her back, cupping and squeezing her tits as he kissed her arms, working his lips to the top of her tit, bunching her tit in his firm grip as he pushed her erect nipple into his mouth. He inhaled her exquisitely sensitive titty tip with a vigorous suction that filled his hot, wet mouth. His tongue darted and circled around her puffed up bits, sending sparks shooting into her clit. He worked her fleshy mounds over with his mouth, drooling over her melons and adding to the juicy wet sensation she was getting between her thighs.As he lapped at her nipples, caressing, licking, squeezing and mashing her mammaries with his right hand, his left hand traveled across her belly, inching its way lower on her body. Dana opened herself, thrilled to once again feel the pleasure of a man intimately handling all of her excited girl parts. Her cunny was more than moist, her breathing shallow and her brain swimming in a warm fog. Dana arched her hips as Orlando's hand petted her bush; her little princess ached to once again be embraced by a dancing partner. It has been so long. Her warm, buttery inner parts were feeling more wonderful than she ever remembered.Orlando's fingers passed over her dewy vulva with a firm pressure. His hand made a tight circular grinding motion before he spread her puffy lips open, probing along her slick walls, climbing up her canyon. Dana held her breath, she wanted to squeal before he got to her clit, but she held her silence with closed eyes, letting the anticipation of first contact build in her lungs and in her loins.Orlando's fingertip crept up the underside of her rigid clit, painting her in her own sex juices. He circled her aroused bud, triggering a flash of blue electricity that shot under her skin to her toes. Dana's hips bucked; her ass arched as she pushed her sex trigger into her lover's fingers. He ran a couple of his fingers into her slippery cunny, drawing them up to her clit, bathing her in her own nectar. Dana burst into a series of brusque chirps, half-screaming, half-moaning as she was seized by convulsing and shaking legs. She choked out in shallow breaths, "Whoa, whoa, whoa. Oh god, oh fuck. Oh, fucking fuck."Orlando let her convulsions subside. Dana covered her eyes with her hands, gasping for breath as his fingers rested, half filling her pulsing cunny. "I could be wrong -- but I'm not; you have a lot more in the tank my little chickpea." Orlando stuffed his fingers further up inside her cunt as if he was taking the measure of her tank. He pulled out slowly, making sure he tickled her g-spot as he withdrew from her throbbing void."I might have forgotten about the next element in your Secret Santa swap tonight, except it is so fucking uncomfortable right now. I'm afraid you'll have to perform the final plucking of your evening's gift partridge. I will need the skilled digits of my beautiful assistant; would you please remove my remaining apparel. I have been instructed by the one who sent me, to inform you that there is a special package waiting for you underneath."With the glee of a young girl selecting her wrapped package from under the Christmas tree, Dana rolled on her side, unzipping Orlando's white trousers and pulling them off. His erection was obvious under his holiday themed underwear, yet it looked as if his underwear was packing more than expected. Curious about his cock and whatever extras accompanied his package, she tugged his last bit of wrapping away to reveal the full package. Dana whooped in surprise, and laughed a hearty laugh, admiring the red bow adding a festive cheer to his stiff prick. "Oh my! Is this all for me?" she giggled.Orlando shrugged, "I suggest you read the label. If it's not addressed to you, I've made a terrible mistake."Dana picked up the card hanging from the red bow, dangling below Orlando's Christmas balls: "On the First Day of Christmas, My True Friend gave to me, A Partridge in a Pear Tree. Dear Dana, I hope you enjoy the Christmas package I've selected for you. I've decided to exchange more than cookies after our usual Christmas Cookie Exchange. Dana, Merry Fucking Christmas! -- McNally."Dana let a little squeak escape, "This is all so very naughty."Orlando thrust his hips toward Dana, "Yes it is. Would you do me a favor and unknot me?" he said, shaking his boner in front of her to get her to remove the bow and gift card from his masculine package.Dana's eyes flashed with a mischievous grin, she wiggled her fingers in excitement before blushing as she reached to the base of the proud cock, lifting the elastic band at the base to un-decorate Orlando's extended organ."Thank you," was his response as his partridge cock was now as free as a bird. He searched the folds of the bed cover, looking to find the bottle of partridge pecker oil he'd tossed onto the bed earlier. Dana found it under her bottom, showing her find to Orlando."May I?" was her question as she managed a sheepish look up into Orlando's eyes."The pleasure would be all mine," he replied.Dana reached out to grab his manhandle, coaxing him into bed. She crawled over him, letting her tits hang down, dangling in his face. She dropped her shoulders, let one nipple land on his lips, he gave her a lick, and then she plopped her other nipple to his lips, receiving a second exhilarating lick. She scooted down, grasping the base of his cock, about to apply a dab of lube, when she thought better of her idea.She wrapped her fingers around his shaft, marveling at the inflexible piece of anatomy, trying to recall the fun of having a man's stiff cock penetrating her. It had been a while since she had even imagined enjoying the pleasure of a good fucking. She admired his towering erection, abandoned her last bit of hesitation holding her back and opened her lips and took him in deep. She moved her hands to his nuts, caressed them as she swabbed the hot pink shaft with her tongue. She sucked and stroked him, bringing him to maximum stiffness without a hint of gagging, feeling proud of her accomplishment.Orlando held her head tight between his hands as she bobbed up and down in slow, long strokes with her lips. Orlando's hands reached under her, grabbing a handful of titties in each hand, massaging her boobs and making sure she had her plush nips squeezed between his fingers just the right amount of rough, stimulating pleasure.Dana was getting lathered up again, her lady parts were plump and wet with the thrill of sucking a thick cock and the powerful handling of her tits, making her want that cock to leave her lips and tongue and find its way down to her labia and clit. Dana let Orlando's erection pull out of her mouth with a satisfying plop. She closed her eyes and made the deep humming sound of an aroused woman wanting and waiting to be taken.Orlando positioned his hand under her hanging udders, holding them in his solid grasp; he tilted her onto her back. Picking up the bottle of lube, he poured a small stream over her steaming cunt, rubbing his shaft with a second slathering. Dana's humming picked up in pitch as the cold lube oil fell on her labia, but Orlando's warm hands worked it into her soft girly flesh and made her feel happy and aroused to be pampered with floral scented oil on her feminine folds.Orlando had a well-oiled tool after a couple of strokes. He was eager to climb into his pear tree after great stimulating oral sex and the delight of handling Dana's attractive and suitably large and pendulous tits. He spread Dana's legs, pushing her knees wide after oiling her inner thighs. With a little bounce he crow-hopped between Dana's outstretched legs, landing on the gaping fruit of his pear tree. His partridge flew into her, surprising her with his sudden furious first fuck. He was thick and forced her apart, she felt stuffed; startled at the filling sensation, surprised at the penetration and swoopy with the undulating, gripping response of her unpracticed sex muscles to Orlando's perching inside her cunt.Orlando gripped her hips, Dana's legs pointed up as he pounded her with scooping, hungry thrusts of his hips, poking, prodding, pushing his pecker deeper into her ravenous nether regions. Her screams began with his first humping thrust; each blow between her legs brought a corresponding scream, he was the hammer, she was the anvil. The hammer hit her with shuddering force, the anvil of her sex rang out with each blow in an echoing scream of unbridled pleasure. She was being pounded into a form of malleable feminine flesh as her lover worked her over.Dana had been fucked many times before, she and Sander had made love, mad love, lazy love, hungry love and yet this was new for her. She let each throbbing thrust push her higher. She let Orlando's prick hammer her hard, pushing her to that orgasmic edge, an edge that was always a mystery. Dana never knew what was over the edge, at least not until she had been pushed over it and was falling into its abyss, filled with swirling clouds and tumbling waves of passion. She gave herself away, letting Orlando push her to the edge.She was hanging at the edge of her orgasm, she felt her lover's muscles tighten along his lean body, his breathing was labored, her desire was to feel him cum inside her. She wanted to give herself to him. In giving herself up to his explosive ejaculation, she would be blasted into deep space. The lovers would be swept away together in a perfect climax.Dana tensed in response to the man fucking her as he strained to gather his energy like a coiled spring planted deep inside her sex chamber. With a throaty groan, Orlando let his seed burst from his loins, flooding Dana with white hot fluid. She felt his release. His energy tripped her delicately balanced desire. Orlando's hot splash burst against the back of her vibrating inner hollow, exploding out through her lungs, rattling her pelvis as she shook and collapsed at its seductive power. The heat of her explosion radiated through all her muscles, warping the dimensions of her bedroom.Orlando rolled off her, pulling the heavy quilt over the two of them. He pulled Dana close to him, spooning with her as he buried his nose in her hair, letting his hand rest on her tit as dreams of sugar plums danced in their heads as they snuggled into a relaxed sleep like a contented partridge in a sweet pear tree.December's late sunrise was filtering through the blinds when Dana opened her eyes at Orlando's touch on her bare back. He ran his hand over her skin, rubbing the small of her back as she rolled over on her stomach. Waking up to a man's roaming hands was a forgotten pleasure for Dana. Her night's partner massaged her rump as she purred. Orlando gave her a light smack across her ass, whispering, "You have a beautiful pear-shaped ass, fresh and firm." He bent over and took a tiny nip at her flank, Dana flinched, then he kissed it all better."I regret that I have an appointment for later this morning. Please excuse me, but I will take my leave after a wonderful experience." Dana watched him dress from under a wad of sheets and blankets."Mr. Partridge?" she called as he moved toward the bedroom door, Orlando smiled and turned toward the nude woman lying in bed."Yes?" he asked in a jaunty tone."Tell McNally, 'Have yourself a Merry Fucking Christmas to one and to all', would you?"Orlando chuckled, "That sounds like an inside joke among The Chix. I'll leave that one up to you to deliver that message, my little chickpea." Orlando let himself out of the house. Two Turtle DovesDana was reluctant to rise out of bed; she wished she could linger under the covers with a lover all day. But she was resigned to the fact that the day had to move forward. She locked the door, put on a pot of coffee and made her bed. Her phone pinged. She went to find it and red the incoming text.It was from Annie, 'Clear your calendar this afternoon girl. I'll be delivering a holiday surprise package to your house. You will need to be at home to receive it!' Dana's first thought was, how sweet of Annie.She was expecting a visit from Annie when the doorbell rang mid-afternoon. Dana was surprised to see Nelson on her doorstep. "Is Annie with you?" Dana asked with a quizzical look and a realization that she was experiencing a flash of deja vu all over again.Nelson stepped into the house carrying a small gift bag and handed Dana a scroll tied with a white ribbon. "What's this?" Dana asked as she cocked her head, taking the scroll from Nelson. "This is all so mysterious - again," she said with her eyes and smile flashing in obvious enjoyment of the unfolding mystery in her entry hall. Dana ran her eyes up and down the broad, well-toned frame of the dark-haired man whom she had known as a friend for many years.Dana unfurled the scroll, feeling a hot flush ignite her face as she red Annie's words while her complexion blushed to contrast with the scroll's ribbon. Dana sucked in her breath; her eyes grew wide as she red what had just been handed to her. From what was written in the scroll, it sounded like Annie had sent her husband, Nelson over to her as a special gift. Nelson was here to give her 'a time of holiday magic.' Annie's introduction stated that 'Nelson was 'prepared to fulfill her wish list', and for this one time only, Santa would be unloading his sack and giving his gifts to one of the naughty girls on his list.' According to the instructions, all she had to do was 'to be swept away and be surprised by the goodies that were stuffed into her stocking.'Dana took another short breath as she finished reading; she understood that the text Annie had sent this morning was but a pretext, a set up. Her lips parted as she realized that there were waves of warm desire flowing in her center as she detected a sudden firming within her lady parts. She was pleasantly embarrassed as she felt another blush rise to her nipples, throat and face.Nelson stared at Dana, analyzing her expressions, making sure she had figured out the reason for his visit. Dana knew he was watching her for a sign of her willingness to have him romance the pants off of her. Nelson's stare made her feel bashful as she kept her secret of wanting to be desired and ravaged by a man who had been off limits -- until now.Nelson saw enough in Dana's eyes, shy smile and crimson blush to pursue Annie's plan. "You understand why Annie sent me over here, don't you?"Dana wanted to reach out to touch him to affirm that she did, but she kept her hands to herself. She folded herself up in a demure stance and waited for Nelson to make his move. "Annie said you might need some convincing, but that my appearance and purpose would not be a total surprise to you -- whatever that may mean." Nelson put his hands on her shoulders, whispered into her ear, "Merry Trystmas, from me and Annie to you."Dana spun away as Nelson was moving his hands toward her tits, but not too far away. "What's in the bag Nelson?" she said as she lifted her neck to peek at the gift bag on the floor behind him."Ah, glad you asked. Allow me to say that I have been sent to your lovely side in this special season and my quest is to hunt for turtle doves. It is my understanding that turtle doves always, always come in pairs. I am a connoisseur of turtle doves, and I will search high and low to find such a pair. I assure you that I will leave no stone, or garment, unturned in my assigned quest to find a pair of white turtle doves." Nelson lifted the bag, "May I share with you my turtle dove hunting strategy?" he asked as he nudged Dana into her kitchen.Dana crossed her arms over her chest, "I would be very interested in your proposed hunting strategy. But I've heard it takes a bit of skill and charm and a degree of luck to flush a pair of turtle doves out into the open. Is that true?" Dana rocked her shoulders in a coquettish fashion as she let Nelson follow her to the kitchen table."Luck, my lady, has nothing to do with it." Nelson put the bag of goodies on the table, "It is all charm and skill," he let out a good-natured laugh at his exaggerated sexual swagger to his longtime friend and with a little luck, soon to be lover. "Let me show you some of the enticing baits that have worked well for generations of turtle dove poachers. Nelson reached into the bag and drew out a small, ornate candy box.He handed it to Dana, "Go ahead, open it," he insisted. Dana removed the ribbon and lifted the lid. Inside were a half-dozen chocolate covered pecans clusters."Oh yes, I see why these might work. They're turtle candies -- like decoys. You're a very clever hunter Nelson. You say these are used as bait to lure turtle doves out into the open?"Nelson was pleased with Dana's playful reaction, "Yes indeed, that's the plan. It's in all the field guides that I've red. The use of these little chocolates makes me a master baiter."Dana snorted at Nelson's set up. "I guess I should've seen that cumming," she added once she'd caught her breath.Nelson nodded to her with a sly smile, acknowledging her playful comeback. "The old-time hunters have a saying, 'Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.' But I'm of the opinion that the hunt can be as much fun as the capture."Dana straightened her spine and rounded her shoulders to emphasize her cleavage as she smirked at the great hunter seated across the table from her. "When does hunting season open?""I got another trick in my bag." Nelson pulled out a squeeze bottle of chocolate syrup, holding it in front of Dana."Oh, you are a clever man, Nelson. I see what you've done; chocolate turtle decoys and Dove chocolate sauce, yes, quite clever preparations for a turtle dove safari." Dana was suppressing a giggle at the sight of Nelson's selected ingredients on her table. "But I have no idea how such items are combined with a hunter's skill and charm."Nelson snickered at Dana's pretend gullibility, "That's just the segue that an old, out of practice turtle dove hunter needs," he said in appreciation of her beguiling playfulness. "Allow me to demonstrate."Nelson held a turtle candy to her lips; Dana stuck out her tongue as he fed it to her. Dana licked and smacked her lips seductively as she devoured the bait. Nelson selected a second turtle, covering it with a squirt of chocolate syrup before he held it to her lips. Dana stuck out her tongue; Nelson missed her mouth, smearing gooey syrup over her chin and running down her jaw. "Oops. I might not be the skilled master baiter that I thought I was," he said as he picked up a napkin from the table. Nelson, dabbed at her face and neck, but ended up smearing the syrup into a larger mess. "Oops. How clumsy of me. This isn't working so well, let me try something else." Nelson moved in close to Dana and began licking her face in long, slow scoops. Dana held still as he worked his tongue off her chin and down her throat.Dana began to coo as she enjoyed the wet, messy sensation of being devoured."I hear the cooing sounds of turtle doves," whispered Nelson between his slow slurps mixed with kisses. "There must be a pair nearby. Let me see if I can sneak up on them.""I think they're hiding somewhere in here." Nelson inserted his hands under the front of Dana's blouse, rambling among the straps and cups. Nelson unbuttoned the upper buttons, reaching over to the bottle of chocolate syrup and dribbled a little stream on her throat. Dana tossed her head back, exposing the dark vein and inviting Nelson to clean her up with his tongue.Nelson sucked and licked his way down her throat to her chest while he finished undoing her top. After removing her shirt, he had her rise from her chair. He held his hands behind her head, working them down to her bra. With a deft snap of his fingers, Dana was undone. "Ah, these two turtle doves are too beautiful to be hidden away, caged and cooped up. Let me free these gentle beasts." Nelson draped her bra over the back of the chair before dribbling more Dove chocolate syrup on her upper chest."Yum, you taste so good for a bad girl." Nelson pushed Dana with his tongue and hands, making her lie back on the tabletop, tits up. More syrup was applied to her tits as Nelson dipped in, licking under her titties before grasping them like an ice cream cone and taking big licks across her accentuated nipples rising stiff and bright as a red, glowing holiday light atop the Christmas tree. Nelson's hot and eager mouth enveloped her exposed chocolate covered cherries; licking and smacking with his lashing tongue, rolling across her rounded holiday orbs, flush with excitement at the naughty attention they were garnering.Dana's pants and panties were off before she knew what was happening. She was bathed in ribbons of chocolate syrup from the tip of her two tits down to hip bones. Nelson lapped at her in a voracious, tooth-snapping fashion. He paused to admire her up-thrust boobs, "You are one of my new favorite Christmas treats; big, round teats like milky scoops topped off with tasty red berries, then covered in chocolate. Yum, yum-yum!"Dana had thrown her hands up over her head in sweet surrender as she was consumed figuratively by glowing desire and literally by the ravenous lips and tongue of her lover. She shifted further over the table, opening her thighs and dangling her legs off the table's edge, hoping she looked yummy and delicious. Offering herself as a holiday treat to the man she hoped to entice to keep on licking all the way down to her Christmas wonderland.Dana was not disappointed. Her bare chest was cleaned up well by Nelson's fastidious fussing over her naked body slathered in sweetness. Nelson let his tongue flow downstream, following the rivulet of syrup that ran along the contours of her body. Taking a seat in the chair Dana had just vacated, he pushed her thighs apart, running his fingers up from her knees to the intimate interior canyon that opened between her legs. Spreading her puffy, pink labia, Nelson held her open to peek at her engorged twat protruding beyond the folds of delicate flesh. Dana's half-hidden clit looked like a poorly re-wrapped gift after a curious child had taken a little peek underneath, unable to wait until Christmas morning to find out what was inside.Nelson's own package was straining to break out of his trousers and feeling even more uncomfortable with the bow and tag that Annie had made him wear before coming to seduce their friend Dana under the pretense of looking for two turtle doves. "Excuse me, I almost forgot, I have a package that is for you," Nelson mumbled as he looked over Dana's fuzzy pubic mound up toward her face. He stood, took off his blazer, shirt and boots and socks and then dropped his trousers.Dana lifted her head enough to see Nelson's erection had a pretty bow attached to its base. She exclaimed, "Is that package for me?""Read the gift tag," he said as he turned so that Dana red the attached card:"Dear Dana, I hope you enjoy the Christmas package I've selected for you. If you decide to be a bad girl this year, you may find a couple of turtle dove eggs laid upon your nest. Merry Fucking Christmas! Annie."Dana pulled off his phallic decoration, caressing his eggs after unwrapping his package. "The card says if I am a bad girl, my two turtle doves might get me laid and I might find a couple of eggs on my pussy's nest.""Ho ho ho, have you been a good girl or a bad girl this year?" Nelson inquired with a prurient interest as he filled her excited crevasse with a couple of slow, pumping fingers."I've been feeling so bad that I've been so good - that is up until recently. Now that I've become a bad girl, I've been feeling pretty good. Nelson, when you're looking over your list of who's naughty and who's nice; if I told you I want your hot cock stuffed down my chimney, would you hold it against me?"Nelson was in no mood to joke around now that his proud member was trimmed for action. He slipped his hands under Dana's ass, leaned into her cunt and gave her clit several flicks with his tongue. Dana squirmed and squealed at the soft, fleshy contact with her clit."Um, this is the moist wonderful time of the year," proclaimed Nelson as he came between her legs, driving into her cunt, stuffing her good and plenty.Dana's breath burst in a big whoosh as her sex muscles clamped down on the stiff man-flesh pumping into her pulsing parts. Nelson kept up a rhythmic pumping as he ran the pad of his thumb around her wild clitoris.Dana's hips bucked in response to the driving, throbbing action of a cock, forcing her intimate space to yield to its girth. Prickly sparks shot out into her toes as her twat was twiddled in a pool of chocolate syrup her lover had dripped over her pink jellybean.Dana's legs lifted into the air, she opened herself to a full throttle fucking. Nelson's bush-beating stick pounded her flesh; each heavy pumping stroke pushed her higher and higher. Dana felt herself rising to her orgasmic peak.Nelson could feel the sexual tension inside her as she offered counter thrusts. He could hear her swelling orgasm in her swooning moans. He continued his pace, knowing it was driving her toward a shattering orgasm.Dana threw her hands over her face in ecstasy as the building orgasm exploded in her core, blasting away her breath as she barked out short, sharp moans. She was a hot pool of jelly on her kitchen table. She was a mess with chocolate syrup making her skin sticky sweet as it mixed with her salty sweat and gushing love juices.The fantastic vibrations echoing in her cunt were starting to mellow when Nelson reached under her and flipped her tits-down and had her spread eagle across the table. She lifted her hips as Nelson grabbed her ass cheeks, presenting her cunt for a doggy-style penetration. Nelson poured chocolate syrup over his turgid phallus and flew at her gaping cunt with a hearty and lusty thrust. He gave her a sharp spank that cracked across the kitchen as he yelled,"On Dasher, on Prancer, on Boner, oh fuck I'm Blitzen!Oh fuck, I'm cumming in your chimney tonight."Nelson pumped her cunt, poking Dana deep, she was moaning with every thrust and every command to his flying, fucking reindeer. Another spank on her flank and Nelson grunted as he stuffed himself deep into her consuming cunt. He held her ass tight to his balls as he shot a blizzard of white cum into Dana's happy cunt.Nelson dropped back into the chair, looking exhausted and quite pleased. Dana was warmed to see Nelson looking so satisfied. She gave him a kiss and then shook her tits, slapping his cheeks with her chocolate syrup painted orbs, making a bigger mess of his face.Dana crawled into his lap, feeling his used-up strength begin to fade. She was happy to have made such a big, fun mess in her kitchen again. "Come on. You're not done until you've cleaned your two turtle doves that you so charmingly flushed into the open." Dana led Nelson by the hand, pushing him into her warm shower where she joined him, making him soap up her lady parts and get them squeaky clean.They toweled one another dry, paying extra attention to those parts once dredged in Dove chocolate syrup, making sure all was spanking clean. Nelson tiptoed back to his pile of clothes on the kitchen floor, dressing himself and apologizing that, "There is some Holiday business I have to attend to at the station."Before walking back out through the door, he gave Dana a squeeze, "I'd fantasized about taking you on the kitchen table before, of course I never thought I would ever enjoy the opportunity. Honestly, Annie deserves a lot of credit for fulfilling my wish list - though I never mentioned this fantasy to her. She's uncanny sometimes." With a playful goose of Dana's two turtle doves, he whispered, "Merry Trystmas," shutting the door behind him as Dana heard a faint 'Ho Ho Ho' as Nelson flew out into the chilly December night. To be continued in part 3, based on the post by SandyMarl for Literotica.

Got Something to Say? is brought to you by United Federal Credit Union - We Get U! Three Oaks is celebrating the 35th anniversary of the filming of Prancer with PrancerPalooza! Jonny Reinhardt talks with one of the organizers Richard Smith and the star of the movie Rebecca Harrell Tickell! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Have you ever heard of the movie Prancer? In this special Christmas-themed episode, Aaron takes us back to a spontaneous, late-night recording on Christmas Eve, inspired by the classic film and the timeless letter to Virginia O'Hanlon. Listen as Aaron reflects on the magic of the holidays, shares heartfelt insights, and recites one of the most moving pieces ever written about Santa Claus.  *We're creating bonus 7MS-themed content delivered to your inbox, but only exclusively for 7MS listeners who sign up for our quarterly newsletter. Join the waitlist! https://www.7minutestoriespod.com/newsletter *Dive deeper into the 7MS Universe and connect with Aaron on... Instagram IG Threads YouTube *Before you or anyone you know start a podcast, talk to Aaron! Story created & performed by: Aaron Calafato Senior Audio Engineer: Ken Wendt Additional vocals: Cori Birce  Art: Pete Whitehead  Original Music: thomas j. duke 

Send us a textYou know Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen, Comet and Cupid and Donner and Blitzen, but do you know where Jack Frost came from? Ever heard to the Yule Cat, or Krampus, or Lutin or the Yuki-onna? And you need our warnings about Gryla and the Yule Lads! We explore the literary origins of popular winter folk figures, so grab a cup of hot chocolate or cheer and join us this! 

“The problem is, Jessie... I don't believe in Santa Claus anymore.”  Ho-Ho-Ho.  This week we are looking at a film we have debated doing every Christmas and that film is 1986's Prancer.  Starring the wonderful Sam Elliott, this Christmas adventure follows a young girl who finds a wounded reindeer and believes it is the infamous Prancer. So what did we think of this film? Did it ignite the festive joy in us or leave us feeling as cold as a reindeer's nose?  Grab an apple cider and join us in another Christmas episode of Darren and Matt's 80's Adventure to find out.  As always, thank you for listening.  Please share with anyone who is a fan of these films and the 80's in general.  You can get in touch with us on the links below.   Cheersy!   Follow 80s Adventure on facebook   facebook.com/80sadventure   Check out the website   80sadventure.com   Email 80s Adventure   podcast@80sadventure.com   Support 80s Adventure on Patreon   patreon.com/80sadventure   Buy the boys a beerko-fi.com/80sadventure  

Joey Vitale joins us in-studio,. Getting a read on how someone is in bed based on how they bro hug. High-school shaming in St. Louis. Shirt tails were important at CBC. Jackson's sophomore team beat Jayson Tatum (He played 0 minutes). Martin's mom lobbying for playing time at CBC. Emotional guy at the end of the bench. Joey's happy to be out of the house. Did Tim give Joey the Heisman? John Kijowski makes a surprise appearance and he's not happy with Joey. Step-by-step, brick-by-brick. Martin is enjoying the text inbox. Martin's wallet is a real situation. Martin's cleaning out his wallet live on air. RAfBaWG has a thing with billet moms. Joey's billet family experience was great. Joey with some actual insight into the Blues current situation. Jackson's offered his services to dress up as a reindeer. Jackson's force-feeding Buddy Hield on us. Jackson prefers earth tones. Did Uncle Joey make the Red Wings sweater famous? Ranking hockey kits. Maroon and Chase stories. Everybody is getting assigned characters for Joey's Christmas Party. Jackson's gonna be a slutty Prancer. Joey texted with Sid The Kid this morning. Crosby's a superstitious fella. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Joey Vitale joins us in-studio,. Getting a read on how someone is in bed based on how they bro hug. High-school shaming in St. Louis. Shirt tails were important at CBC. Jackson's sophomore team beat Jayson Tatum (He played 0 minutes). Martin's mom lobbying for playing time at CBC. Emotional guy at the end of the bench. Joey's happy to be out of the house. Did Tim give Joey the Heisman? John Kijowski makes a surprise appearance and he's not happy with Joey.Step-by-step, brick-by-brick. Martin is enjoying the text inbox. Martin's wallet is a real situation. Martin's cleaning out his wallet live on air. RAfBaWG has a thing with billet moms. Joey's billet family experience was great. Joey with some actual insight into the Blues current situation.Jackson's offered his services to dress up as a reindeer. Jackson's force-feeding Buddy Hield on us. Jackson prefers earth tones. Did Uncle Joey make the Red Wings sweater famous? Ranking hockey kits. Maroon and Chase stories.Everybody is getting assigned characters for Joey's Christmas Party. Jackson's gonna be a slutty Prancer. Joey texted with Sid The Kid this morning. Crosby's a superstitious fella. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In today's news: Ibrahim Parlak is weighing his next move now that he's been granted some relief in his fight to avoid deportation.  Coming up this Saturday and Sunday is the annual Whirlpool Appliance Sale to benefit the United Way of Southwest Michigan.  A celebration is being planned for this December in Three Oaks to mark the 35th anniversary of the release of Prancer, a 1989 film that was shot there. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In today's news: Ibrahim Parlak is weighing his next move now that he's been granted some relief in his fight to avoid deportation.  Coming up this Saturday and Sunday is the annual Whirlpool Appliance Sale to benefit the United Way of Southwest Michigan.  A celebration is being planned for this December in Three Oaks to mark the 35th anniversary of the release of Prancer, a 1989 film that was shot there. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In today's news: Ibrahim Parlak is weighing his next move now that he's been granted some relief in his fight to avoid deportation.  Coming up this Saturday and Sunday is the annual Whirlpool Appliance Sale to benefit the United Way of Southwest Michigan.  A celebration is being planned for this December in Three Oaks to mark the 35th anniversary of the release of Prancer, a 1989 film that was shot there. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In today's news: Ibrahim Parlak is weighing his next move now that he's been granted some relief in his fight to avoid deportation.  Coming up this Saturday and Sunday is the annual Whirlpool Appliance Sale to benefit the United Way of Southwest Michigan.  A celebration is being planned for this December in Three Oaks to mark the 35th anniversary of the release of Prancer, a 1989 film that was shot there. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Alan Cox Show

The Alan Cox Show

Fresh out of high school, California native Craig Campobasso found himself working behind the scenes for four years on Frank Herbert's Dune. The father and daughter producing team, Dino and Raffaella De Laurentiis, and director David Lynch, were Craig's mentors into the business of filmmaking. After he apprenticed as a casting associate on Steven Spielberg's Amazing Stories, Raffaella later hired him to be casting director for the popular Christmas movie Prancer, starring Sam Elliott. Emmy-nominated for casting David E. Kelly's Picket Fences, Craig has been casting for more than three decades and is an acting coach in the Los Angeles area.Craig's passion is to write stories that provoke the reader to think, to raise their consciousness, to expand their mind about Creation, while still entertaining in the Hollywood tradition.Craig directed, wrote and produced the short film Stranger at the Pentagon, which was adapted from the popular UFO book authored by the late Dr. Frank E. Stranges. After production, the short film collected accolades. In September 2014, it won Best Sci-Fi film at the Burbank International Film Festival, selling out all 275 seats—a first for the festival. In 2015, it won a Remi Award at the Worldfest Houston International Film Festival for Best Sci-Fi Short.Craig has appeared on many radio shows, including Coast to Coast AM with George Noory. He has also been a guest on the Open Minds talk show, with Regina Meredith; and two episodes of Beyond Belief, hosted by George Noory on www.Gaia.com. Craig has also appeared on The History Channel's Ancient Aliens, where Giorgio A. Tsoukalos is the main Ancient Astronaut theorist.Websites strangeratthepentagon.com autobiographyofanet.com craigcampobasso.comBooks The Extraterrestrial Species Almanac The Autobiography of an Extraterrestrial Saga: The Huroid Revolution The Autobiography of an ExtraTerrestrial Saga: I AM Thyron The Autobiography of an Extraterrestrial Saga: Thyron's Dossier The Autobiography of an ExtraTerrestrial Saga: Waking Thyron The UFO Hotspot Compendium

John D. Hancock is an American stage and film director, producer and writer. He is perhaps best known for his work on Bang the Drum Slowly, Weeds and Prancer.  Hancock's theatrical work includes direction of both classic and contemporary plays, from Shakespeare to Saul Bellow.  He also directed several films with his wife actress and screenwriter Dorothy Tristan.  Hancock worked closely with Tristan on a number of projects including the aborted first version of Jaws 2 in 1977 (which Tristan co-wrote with Howard Sackler) as well as California Dreaming, Weeds, A Piece of Eden, Suspended Animation and The Looking Glass. Dorothy Tristan passed away on  January 8th 2023.Support the show

With amazing new guest Laura Bohlin AND special returning guest Casey Campbell, Anna and Derek discuss genius child performances, a Christmas movie without magic, and much more during their chat of the heartfelt holiday flick Prancer (1989). Anna Keizer and Derek Dehanke are the co-hosts of ‘80s Movie Montage. The idea for the podcast came when they realized just how much they talk – a lot – when watching films from their favorite cinematic era. Their wedding theme was “a light nod to the ‘80s,” so there's that, too. Both hail from the Midwest but have called Los Angeles home for several years now. Anna is a writer who received her B.A. in Film/Video from Columbia College Chicago and M.A. in Film Studies from Chapman University. Her dark comedy short She Had It Coming was an Official Selection of 25 film festivals with several awards won for it among them. Derek is an attorney who also likes movies. It is a point of pride that most of their podcast episodes are longer than the movies they cover.Laura Bohlin is an East coast native who feels lucky to live and act in Los Angeles. She has booked several national commercial campaigns, including Best Western and a spot currently airing for Blue Buffalo. Laura has a theatre background and lots of improv training, and loves to act in immersive events like Comic-Con, and host at live events such as film festivals and awards shows. Casey Campbell is an LA based Actor/Voice Over Artist. Currently, he is the main promo voice for NBATV and NBA on TNT, as well as a regular voice artist for The Late Show With Stephen Colbert on CBS. His on-screen work includes Murphy the Chef on Disney's “Bunk'd,” “Mighty Med,” “Best Friends Whenever” and NBC's “Superstore.”

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays! You may think we would skip a week to spend it with families, but no! We're as committed to this podcast as Santa is committed to decking your halls. This week however, is not about manga. It's about Christmas. What is the best way to celebrate Christmas you ask? By watching and discussing what we…. all… believe to be the best Christmas movie of all, Elf! Exciting isn't it? How will buddy save Christmas? Does Nate hate Christmas? Should some Christmas songs just be canceled? What's the best way to spread Christmas cheer? When is the best time to nogg the eggs? Is Christmas a corporate scandal? On Dasher, on Dancer, on Prancer and Vixen, grab you speakers and come have a listen to this weeks Christmas edition of That One Time We Read Manga! To join the conversation and connect with the crew, don't forget to follow us on Facebook, instagram, youtube and tiktok Feel free to send us a message with reviews, questions, concerns, or a monologue about your day. Email: thatonetimewereadmanga@gmail.com Also, we have a Patreon now! Join the crew at patreon.com/ThatOneTimeWeReadManga Show art created and distributed by @missgreenkitty. For more dope art, follow @missgreenkitty on Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr, Facebook, and Tiktok.

Merry Christmas! PreserveCast is a podcast put out by Preservation Maryland. If you're not familiar with them, we at Addressing Gettysburg suggest you become familiar with them. They do great work and host Nick Redding does a fantastic job at the helm of PreserveCast. Thanks to Nick for reaching out to us and letting us release PreserveCast's episode about the history of Santa Claus.  "The PreserveCast team brings you a special release on the history of Santa Claus. You know Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen . . . but what about the jolly old elf holding the reins? St. Nicholas, Old St. Nick, Sinterklaas, or simply Santa Claus. He's gone by many names – but where does this rich and seemingly timeless tradition come from? On this special edition of PreserveCast, we're headed down a winding reindeer path to uncover the rich history of Santa Claus and how he came to define the modern celebration of Christmas."- PreserveCast

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse; The stockings were hung by the chimney with care, In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there; The children were nestled all snug in their beds; While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads; And mamma in her 'kerchief, and I in my cap, Had just settled our brains for a long winter's nap, When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter, I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter. Away to the window I flew like a flash, Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash. The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow, Gave a lustre of midday to objects below, When what to my wondering eyes did appear, But a miniature sleigh and eight tiny rein-deer, With a little old driver so lively and quick, I knew in a moment he must be St. Nick. More rapid than eagles his coursers they came, And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name: "Now, Dasher! now, Dancer! now Prancer and Vixen! On, Comet! on, Cupid! on, Donder and Blitzen! To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall! Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!" As leaves that before the wild hurricane fly, When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky; So up to the housetop the coursers they flew With the sleigh full of toys, and St. Nicholas too— And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof The prancing and pawing of each little hoof. As I drew in my head, and was turning around, Down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound. He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot, And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot; A bundle of toys he had flung on his back, And he looked like a pedler just opening his pack. His eyes—how they twinkled! his dimples, how merry! His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry! His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow, And the beard on his chin was as white as the snow; The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth, And the smoke, it encircled his head like a wreath; He had a broad face and a little round belly That shook when he laughed, like a bowl full of jelly. He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf, And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself; A wink of his eye and a twist of his head Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread; He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work, And filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk, And laying his finger aside of his nose, And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose; He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle, And away they all flew like the down of a thistle. But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight— “Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!”   BY CLEMENT CLARKE MOORE

In this Episode Alyssa tells Molly McAleer the history of a Christmas Icon. Digressions include: Malort Pearl Davis Are Vixen and Prancer gay? Tucker The Nutcracker Show Notes: Dartmouth: Rudolph's Story: Dear to Many, Year After Year WBEZ: What's That Building? Where Rudolph Got His Red Nose Wards.com The Week: The origin story of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer NPR: The History Of Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer Snopes: The Origins of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer Time: The Surprisingly Sad True Story Behind 'Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer' Chicago Tribune: Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer was created in Chicago by Montgomery Ward copywriter Robert L. May to sell toys in 1939. Here's how the popular Christmas character — and its author — went down in history. Chicago Tribune: Some people are upset about 'Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.' Here's why. Huff Po Tweet The Atlantic: Don't Subject Your Kids to Rudolph Washington Post: Oh, Rudolph with your nose so bright, where did you come from? Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer: An American Hero White House Nutcracker Benny Shaps on Rudolph Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Bob Nate and Jon get together to welcome in the holidays with the best gift we could think of: semi-intelligent picks for the weekend. Bob keeps Nate from going off the rails with another Prancer review. Jon keeps bringing it back to the Browns and his holiday wish of them in the Super Bowl. All in all a great way to spend an hour while wrapping gifts or hiding from your in-laws. Enjoy and Merry Christmas!!

"Picture this: it's the '80s, snowflakes softly drifting, and the magic of Christmas twinkling in the air. In the midst of this wintry wonderland comes a film that encapsulates the essence of the season: 'Prancer.' It's not just a holiday movie; it's a heartfelt journey that follows young Jessica, a girl who discovers a wounded reindeer she believes to be Prancer, one of Santa's magical companions. This enchanting tale isn't just about a girl and a reindeer; it's about belief, hope, and the enduring power of Christmas spirit. As Jessica's faith in the injured reindeer grows, so does the town's excitement, with her conviction sparking a wave of festive joy and imagination in the hearts of those around her. 'Prancer' isn't just a story; it's a tapestry woven with themes of compassion, wonder, and the magic of believing in something greater. It's a film that doesn't just warm your heart; it lights up the holiday season with its timeless message. So, grab a cup of cocoa, cozy up by the fire, and join us as we rediscover the enchantment of 'Prancer,' a treasured piece of '80s cinema that continues to sparkle in the memories of Christmases past."If you are new to the podcast then please consider following us on the platform that you love, we can be found most anywhere that you listen to your favorite podcasts. Please leave us a rating and review if you listen on iTunes and a 5 star rating if you listen on Spotify.If you have any questions, comments, suggestions for shows or you have a question you would like us to read on air then email us at retrolife4you@gmail.com Prancer (Full Movie on YouTube)You can find us on social media at the following places:FacebookInstagramTik TokYouTubeRetro Life 4 You Website

Where can two strippers get a bite to eat on Christmas Eve?By  MelissaBaby. (abridged) Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories.“Fuck Christmas,” Clover shouted, “and fuck you, Tony. Fuck Santa Claus, fuck his elves and fuck all ten goddamn reindeers.”“Eight,” Roxanne said, filing her nails and looking at her over the top of her glasses.“Shut up, Roxy, I'm talking about reindeers, not how many cocks you sucked over the weekend.”“Clover, calm down,” Tony said, “It was worth taking a shot.”“Bullshit, I told you nobody goes to a strip club on Christmas Eve.”“She did tell you,” Roxanne said, “Even louder that she's telling you now.”“Look,” he said, shrugging, “I'm sorry, but it wasn't nobody…”“We've had five customers,” Clover said.“And the last one was two hours ago,” Roxanne chimed in, “It's almost ten thirty.”Clover jerked her thumb at Roxanne. “She might look like a doofus wearing that stupid Santa hat, but she's right.”Tony held up his hands, “Okay, it turned out to not be a great idea. You guys are always saying that more customers come in because they are lonely than because they are horny. I figured it would be a lonely night for a lot of guys…”“It might be a great night to be a hooker,” Clover said, “but not a dancer.”He looked at his watch, then over his shoulder at LeAnn, the bartender. “Tell you what,” he told her, “If nobody else comes in before eleven, go ahead and close up.”He started to walk away, but Roxanne called him back. “We paid our club fees, Tony, that isn't right.”He looked up toward the ceiling, as if he were looking for a script to read from. “You want to close and go home early, but you want your club fees refunded because I said we would close and you could go home early?”“No,” Clover said, “We want our club fees refunded because we paid you fifty dollars to dance on a night when you dragged us in here to dance, even though we told you nobody was coming the fuck in.”“Fine,” he said, throwing his hands in the air, “LeAnn, give them back their club fees.”The door opened, and they both groaned, but it was not a customer. Sporty, the Gold Dollar's bouncer, came in.“Speaking of guys you'll fuck,” Clover muttered.When he approached the bar, she said, “Hey Sporty, how come you go out with Roxy? I always heard black guys like girls with nice big asses.”“I always heard strippers were friendly,” he shot back.He sat down next to Roxanne.“Where have you been?” she asked him.“Yeah,” Clover said, “There could have been a brawl in here, between the rats and the cockroaches.”“I was sitting out in my car, listening to some jams.”Clover tipped out and gave LeAnn a big hug, then she and Roxanne walked out to their cars in a light cold rain.“You ain't waiting for Sporty?” Clover asked.“Nope, don't want to talk to him right now. Meet you at the diner.”They each got in their cars. A light coating of slush covered Roxanne's windshield, but the wipers easily pushed it to the side. She pulled out of the parking lot on to the slippery street and drove the mile and a half to their usual after work spot, the Finest Kind Diner, while Clover followed close behind.When she turned into the diner's parking lot she noticed immediately that the lights were turned off, except for a string of colored Christmas bulbs blinking around the front door.Clover thought for a minute. “We could go to Denny's.”“Are they open?”“How the fuck would I know? Call ‘em up.”“Oh, so I have to look up the number?”“I figured it has a man's name, so you would know it.”Roxanne sat back in her seat. “I don't want to drive all the way across town, just to go to Denny's. What else would be open?”“Just White Castle.”Roxanne thought for a minute. “Yeah, what the fuck, let's go to White Castle.”“We ought to just go in one car,” Clover suggested.“Fine. Yours or mine?”“Yours,” Clover said, “Mine is more full of trash than a westside trailer park.” She pulled her car into a parking space, shut it off and got out.“I hate this drizzly shit,” she said as she got into Roxanne's passenger seat.“Hey, don't you live in a westside trailer park?” Roxanne asked.“Yeah, that's why I know what I am talking about.”“Speaking of knowing what you're talking about,” Roxanne said, “Santa Claus has eight reindeer.”“Are you counting Rudolph?”“Nope. Rudolph doesn't count.”“Who decided that?”“Clement Moore.”“Who the fuck is he? Sounds like a baseball player.”“He wrote The Night Before Christmas.”“Twas the night before Christmas,” Clover recited in a sing song voice, “And all through the place, Roxanne was sitting on every guy's face.”“And up from the lawn there arose such a clatter,” Roxanne returned, “As Clover devoured the whole turkey platter.”Clover nodded her head. “That was pretty good,” she admitted.Roxanne was quiet for a moment, then asked, “You wonder though, who the fuck would name a reindeer Blitzen? What is he, a Nazi reindeer?”“I bet Rudolph was originally Adolf the Red Nosed Reindeer and they changed it during the war or something. Hey, what's going on with you and Sporty?”“He wants me to go to his mom's house for Christmas dinner.”“And you don't want to go?”“Mom, Dad, I'd like you to meet my girlfriend from the strip club?”“Oh yeah, I get it. But still, you guys been going out for a while now. You are going to meet them sooner or later.”“It doesn't have to be on Christmas with all the relatives there.”“So what are you going to do?”“I don't know.”There were three cars parked outside the White Castle when they arrived. The restaurant's windows were so wet with condensation that they could not see through them. But when they dashed inside, they were nearly blinded by the garish light.“This is like sensory overload,” Roxanne said, as Jingle Bell Rock squalled from a tinny sound system.They walked over to the counter. There was no one behind it. Roxanne leaned forward, craning her neck to look back into the kitchen. She saw a young man in a white uniform and a hairnet dumping french fries out of a fryer basket.“Excuse us,” she called.He looked over his shoulder. “Be with you in a minute, ma'am,” he said.Clover cackled and nudged Roxanne with her elbow. “Ma'am. He thinks you're an old fucking lady.”“Yeah, and he thinks I'm taking my mom out for Christmas Eve.”The man came to the counter. His name badge identified him as Julio, assistant manager. “What can I get you ladies?” he asked.“I'd like four hamburgers, an order of medium fries and a large coffee, regular,” Roxanne said.“Give me six whiteys and a large Mountain Dew,” Clover added.“Would you like fries with that?”“Fuck no, I'm gonna eat most of hers.”Julio rang up their orders and Roxanne paid for both. Clover looked around the room.There were three occupied booths. In one a pair of middle aged men, wearing the uniforms of parking attendants, sat sipping coffee. At another, an older woman in a ragged green coat had only a cup of water and a single empty burger box on the table in front of her. A couple of booths down, three young, black clad goths were sitting together. They looked to be in their early twenties; two boys, one very large, the other thin and jittery, and a purple haired girl sitting across from them, loudly chewing gum. They all looked like they were coming down off a much better time than they were having now.“It's kind of a sad looking bunch of people in here,” Clover said.“Yeah,” Roxanne said, “It's Christmas Eve and they've got no place to go.”“That sounds familiar. I mean, what the fuck is the difference between them and us?”“We've got money in our pockets.”“Yeah, money we took from other lonely people,” Clover said. She looked lost in thought for a moment, then asked Roxanne, “How much money you think you've got in your pocket?”“I don't know, a hundred, maybe a hundred and twenty dollars.”Clover looked around the room, her lips tight and her brow knotted.“I'll bet I know what you're thinking,” Roxanne said.“It's fucking Christmas,” Clover said, shrugging.Roxanne called Julio back to the counter.“How much are those sacks of thirty sliders?” she asked him.“Thirty two dollars and fifty two cents.”She looked over her shoulder at the woman with her single burger. “Give me two sacks,” she said, fishing her cash out of her pocket.“You still want the other order?”“Yeah,” Clover said, “And I want you to give anybody whatever they want to drink. Keep a tab and I'll pay for them later.”Julio hesitated a moment, then said, “Okay, it will take a little bit of time. Your other order will be up in a minute.”When their food was ready, they went to the empty table between the old lady and the goths.As they walked past the parking attendants, Clover asked them, “How you guys doing? You had to work tonight?”“Fuckin' Nutcracker,” one of them grumbled.“So are you going to see your son tomorrow?” Roxanne asked Clover when they had taken their seats.Clover nodded. “Not till the afternoon. But I get to have him the next day, too.”“Have you got plans?”“I was thinking we'd go to Hong Kong Garden for dinner.”“And the next day?”“Are you kidding? The day after Christmas? We're going fucking shopping.”Roxanne laughed. “Yeah I'm sure that'll thrill a ten year old boy, going shopping with his mom.”They had each finished two burgers when Julio called to them that their order was ready.Clover walked over to the counter, picked up a bag of hamburgers in each hand and turned to face the dining area.“Ladies and gentlemen,” she hollered, “My friend Poindexter and I would like to treat everyone to Whiteys for Christmas.” She went from table to table, holding out the bags, so that each person could take some burgers.“And if anyone wants something to drink,” she said, “It's on us. Just step up and tell Julio what you want.”After going to each table, she had half a bag left. She put it on the table in front of Roxanne and sat down.Roxanne twisted in her seat and watched as several of the patrons went to the counter and ordered drinks. She noticed that the old woman in the next booth had neither gotten up nor taken any burgers. She took one from the bag, leaned over the back of the booth and asked, “Would you like another burger, ma'am?”“Are you sure it's okay?”“Of course it is,” Roxanne said, “Merry Christmas.”“Merry Christmas, dear,” the woman replied, taking the burger.Roxanne's phone buzzed.“I bet I know who that is,” Clover muttered.Roxanne looked at the screen. “Yeah, it's Sporty.” She sat back in the booth and answered, simply saying, “Hey.”“Listen baby,” he said, “I wish you hadn't split like that. I don't want you mad at me, whether you go tomorrow or not.”“I never said I was mad at you, Sporty. I'm just tired of all the back-and-forth on this shit.”“I don't think having Christmas with my family is shit.”“Now you're just looking to be offended. They know where you work, right?”“Yeah.”“So, you're going to tell them your bringing a girl from work to Christmas dinner, so I can sit there, eating turkey with everybody looking at me like I'm a whore.”“Ain't nobody gonna call you a whore.”“My own mom calls me a whore.”“Well, my mom ain't your mom.”“I don't know, Sporty. I'm just not sure I'm ready for this.”“We've been going out almost a year.”“Off and on.”“Whatever. Where are you at anyway? I come over to Finest Kind because I thought you guys would be here.”“They're closed.”“Well, no shit, I just told you I was over here.”“We're at the White Castle on Union Street.”“So, would it be cool if I come by?”“Yeah, sure. I'll see you in a bit.”Roxanne disconnected, shaking her head. “This fucking guy,” she muttered, “I'm telling you, he won't give up…”“And that's a bad thing? Let me ask you something,” Clover said, “and don't get pissed.”“Okay.”“Are you nervous about meeting his family because you think they won't like you being a stripper or because you don't think they'll like you being white?”Roxanne was silent for a minute. “Maybe both,” she said.“Either way, I think that's his problem, not yours. I mean it's his family.”“Yeah, but I'm afraid that if they give him a lot of shit about it, he isn't going to pick me over them.”“Well then, fuck him. He ain't worth it if he does that.”Roxanne shrugged. “Yeah, I guess.”An old man with flyaway white hair came into the restaurant. He appeared to be wearing just a light sweatsuit under his ratty coat. He sat down next to the old woman. She spoke quietly to him for a minute, then he loudly cleared his throat.“Excuse me, ladies,” he said in a hoarse voice. “Flo says you are buying burgers for everyone. Is that so?”“Sure is,” Clover said. Roxanne took two more burgers from the bag and handed them to him.“Go get yourself a coffee or something,” Clover said, “Whatever you want, it's on us.”The man thanked them, stood and fetched coffee for himself and Flo.Sporty came in a few minutes later, took off his wet coat and hung it on the end of the booth. He slid in next to Roxanne. Looking at the bags on the table, he asked, “Why did y'all buy so many burgers?”“Because we're generous bitches and we share with everybody,” Clover said.“Well, shit then.” He reached into the bag and pulled out a couple of burgers. After a few bites he said, “I need to get a drink.”“Just go to the counter,” Roxanne told him, “We're running a tab.”Sporty stuffed the rest of the burger in his mouth, then went to the counter. He came back a minute later with a large orange soda.“You been thinking about tomorrow?” he asked Roxanne.“Yeah, I've been thinking about it…”“Hey Sporty,” Clover said, interrupting her, “Let me ask you something.”“Yeah, what?” He reached for another burger.“Why do so many black families have macaroni and cheese for Christmas dinner?”“Because it's good as hell. We still have all the regular shit, turkey and mashed potatoes and cranberries and all that.”“Pumpkin pie or sweet potato?”“What do you think? Sweet potato pie.”“What kind of stuffing?”“Cornbread.”“Just plain?”“Fuck no, my mom puts Jimmy Dean sausage in it.”“Damn!” Clover exclaimed. “Listen, if this silly bitch don't want to come to your mom's house for Christmas dinner can I come?”“You can both come as far as I'm concerned.”Roxanne laughed. “That's actually a pretty good plan. If your mom spends five minutes with Clover, she'll think I'm little miss sunshine.”“No, she'll think you're a dumb bitch who thinks Santa only has eight reindeer.”“Rudolph doesn't count.”“Damn, you back on that shit?” Sporty said, rolling his eyes.Clover slipped out of the booth. “Fuck you both,” she said, standing up.“Hey everybody,” she shouted, “I'm taking a Christmas survey. How many reindeers does Santa Claus have?”There was murmuring throughout the room. The big goth kid was counting on his fingers. One of the parking attendants was quietly singing Rudolph The Red Nose Reindeer. His friend said, emphatically, “Eight.”The goth girl said “Nine, if you count Rudolph.”“Rudolph wasn't one of the originals,” he replied.“So where did he come from?”“Gene Autry.”“Dead white man,” she muttered.The man who had been singing said, “The Night Before Christmas guy gave them their names.”The skinny goth kid glared over the back of the booth at him. “But who said he was in charge of fucking reindeer?”“He wrote the goddamn poem!”“They didn't know about Rudolph then!”“Isn't it nice to see how the holidays bring people together,” Roxanne said to Sporty.“All right,” Clover said, clapping her hands together. “Let's put it to a vote. How many people say nine?”She raised her hand and the goth kids and the old lady joined her.“Who says eight?”Roxanne, Sporty, the parking guys and the old man raised their hands.Clover looked at Sporty. “Put your fucking hand down, man, your vote don't count.”“Why don't my vote count?”“Because you ain't hoping to get any pussy from me tonight.”“You got that right,” he smirked.Roxanne turned in her seat. “How many people say ten?”They all looked at her, perplexed. No one raised a hand.“That's your cue to sit down and shut the fuck up,” she said to Clover. Clover looked around with a frown, then sat without saying anything more.Sporty looked over his shoulder and said, “Who thinks Die Hard is a Christmas movie?”Everyone raised their hand.“Goddamn right,” he muttered.Roxanne nudged him with her elbow. “I need to go to the bathroom,” she said. He stood up and let her go by.The parking lot guys were getting up to leave. They thanked her for the burgers as she went past their table and wished her a happy holiday. One gave her a big hug. At least he didn't try to cop a feel, she thought as she went into the women's bathroom.When she opened the door to come out a few minutes later, Sporty was standing in front of it.“You know how cute you look in that hat?” he asked.“Do you know how desperate you sound when you try to sweet talk me?”“Nah, I ain't desperate. It'd be alright if you don't want to go tomorrow. I get it. But don't go saying you weren't welcome to go, because you were asked.”“Okay, that's fair. It's just that it's a big step.”“You got to take steps if you want to get anywhere,” he said.She put her hand on his shoulder and kissed his cheek. Looking past him, she did not see anyone watching them. She gripped the waist of his pants and walked backward, pulling him into the bathroom.Sporty pushed the door shut behind him, and let Roxanne tug him across the room until her hips bumped against the edge of the sink.Roxanne leaned back, looking up at him and biting her lip.He gazed down at her, his hands on her hips, and kissed her. She kissed him back, but then turned her head.“At some point,” she said, “we have to talk about where we are going.”“We do,” he replied, “but we ain't got to do it right now.”She draped her arms over his shoulders and they exchanged a long, hard, tongue swirling kiss. Sporty's hands moved to her breasts, squeezing and caressing them, while Roxanne dropped her hand down to rub his stiff cock through his jeans.“I think you've got something you want to give me for Christmas,” she whispered.“I don't know,” he said, “I don't think you've been a very good girl.”“Do you want me to be a good girl?”“Aw, hell no,” he said. He took a half step back, seized her waist and spun her around to face the sink. Her Santa hat fell off, landing in the basin.He ran one hand down between her legs and cradled her chin in the other.“Look at you,” he whispered in her ear. Her glasses had slipped down her nose. She pushed them back into their proper position and gazed at herself in the mirror.“Look and see what I see.”Roxanne looked at his eyes in the mirror as his hand rubbed and squeezed her pussy.“Don't look at me, look at you.”She stared at her own reflection, resisting the temptation to watch as he unfastened her jeans and pushed them down over her hips. But when his fingers slipped inside her, she leaned her head back and kissed the side of his neck.His fingers probed deep into her, his thumb played with her clitoris. She reached back and rubbed his crotch. She fumbled at his belt until he gently pushed her hand away and undid it himself.Roxanne felt his cock bump against her ass, then slip down between her thighs. He placed his hand between her shoulders and gently pushed her down until her elbows were on the sides of the sink. She picked up her Santa hat and put it back on her head.Sporty kneaded her ass, then spread her thighs, pressed the head of his cock into her pussy and began to fuck her with long, smooth strokes.Clover snickered when she saw Sporty disappear into the women's bathroom. Get your figgy pudding, girlfriend, she thought, don't go until you get some. She walked to the counter and got a refill on her Mountain Dew, then stopped and listened for a minute. The sound wasn't loud, but she could hear them in the bathroom. They were definitely fucking in there.As she walked back to the booth, she saw the goth girl looking toward the bathroom. She glanced up at Clover with a smirk. Clover winked at her and sat back down in the booth.A few minutes later, the skinny goth kid leaned close to the window and peered out. He wiped away the condensation with his sleeve and looked again.“Fucking cops,” he muttered.“What cops?” Clover asked.“Cop car just pulled up.”“Oh, shit,” Clover muttered. She looked toward the bathroom. She couldn't hear Roxanne and Sporty where she was sitting, but there was no doubt that when the cops walked in, they would. They had to walk right past the bathroom to get to the counter. One of them might even go into the mens' room. She thought about warning them somehow, but didn't think there was enough time. That was confirmed when she saw the cops approaching the door. She had to do something.Just as they reached the door, she began singing at the top of her lungs.You better watch out, you better not cry, you better not pout, I'm telling you why.The goth girl looked up at her and immediately realized what she was doing and joined in.Santa Claus is coming to town.The cops walked in. One was an older man. His eyes and shoulders both drooped. There's another guy doesn't want to be working on Christmas Eve, Clover thought. His partner was a young, thin black man. They walked right past the bathroom to the counter.He's making a list, He's checking it twice.The other goth kids joined in the singing.He's gonna a find out who's naughty and nice.The old couple began to sing along.Santa Claus is coming to town.The two cops stood by the counter, looking around the room. Julio approached the cash register. The older cop leaned in and spoke to him. Julio pointed to Clover and the cop looked over at her. He nodded, then spoke to Julio again.He sees you when you're sleeping, He knows when you're awake He knows if you've been bad or good, So be good for goodness sakeJulio handed each of the cops a bag of burgers and a cup of coffee.Now get the fuck out of here, Clover thought, but instead of leaving they walked toward her. The older cop held out his hand.“Awfully nice thing for you to do, ma'am,” he said. The other customers kept singing.Clover shook his hand.The younger cop shook with her as well. They turned toward the door, tipping their hats to the older couple as they went by.The older cop walked out just as the customers were finishing the last chorus, but the younger cop turned and went to the counter. He held out his open bag toward Julio.“Could you toss a couple of ketchups in there?” he asked.Julio nodded and dropped a handful of packets in his bag.“Thank you, Merry Christmas.” he said, then waved to the customers. “Merry Christmas, everyone.”He took two steps toward the door and stopped and looked toward the bathroom. Clover could hear Roxanne moaning from where she was sitting.He looked around the room. “Does anyone know who is in there?” he asked.“Yes, officer,” Clover said, “That's my friend. I'm afraid she ate a few too many of these gut grenades. You know what they can do to your digestion.”“Yeah, we all been there once or twice, I suppose,” he said. He went to the door and started to open it, then stopped, obviously listening to the sounds emanating from the bathroom. He turned and looked Clover in the eyes. An amused expression crossed his face. He winked at her and walked out.Roxanne had already come twice when she heard the singing. She thought it was just in her head until Sporty paused between thrusts and muttered, “What the fuck is that?”“Jesus, don't fucking stop,” she groaned.“Oh, you need some more of this dick?”“Goddamn it, yes, Sporty, fuck me.”He gripped her hips and began slapping his loins against her ass harder. She braced her hands against the mirror and shoved back against each plunge of his cock.“You getting kind of loud,” he told her. She dropped her head and her Santa hat fell off. She grabbed it and bit down on the white felt ball to keep from crying out. But after a minute or two, she let go of it, unable to keep from moaning loudly each time he jammed his cock deep inside her.She looked up at him in the mirror. Their eyes met, and the look of passion on his face pushed her over the edge into another orgasm. Before it subsided, she felt him stiffen, jerk his cock a few more times and withdraw, as his hot cum ran down the inside of her thigh.“At least they stopped that fucking singing,” Sporty said as Roxanne cleaned herself up.He picked up her Santa hat from the floor, brushed it off and stuck it back on her head, then unlatched the door.“Hold on a minute, babe,” Roxanne said. She raised her face and kissed him. “I'd be happy to go to your mom's tomorrow.”“Damn,” he said with a wide grin, “All I had to do was fuck you real good?”“You always fuck me real good.”“Then I will always get my way, right?”“Don't push your luck,” she said, opening the door.As they came out of the bathroom, the goth kids were walking toward the exit.“Merry Christmas. And thanks,” the girl said.“Yeah, thanks,” skinny kid said as well.The big kid stopped, looked at Roxanne and held his fist out toward Sporty. “Yo,” he said, “You da dawg, bro.”Sporty bumped fists with him. “Fucking white kids,” he muttered, chuckling.They slipped back into the booth, where Clover was waiting for them with her arms crossed and a smug expression on her face.“What was that singing?” Sporty asked.“That was me saving the you two fuckpuppies from spending Christmas in the slammer.”“What are you talking about?” Roxanne asked.“A couple cops came in here while you were getting your stocking stuffed. We were singing so they wouldn't hear the noise you were making.”“We weren't making that much noise.”Sporty laughed. “Girl, you loud as hell.”The old couple came to their booth and thanked them for their burgers.“Merry Christmas,” the man said, shaking all their hands.“There is a special place in heaven for you ladies,” the woman said.As they walked away, Clover said, “You think there is a special place in heaven for us?”“If we died tonight, we might at least be able to make a case for it,” Roxanne said with a shrug.“And by next week, we are fucked again.”Julio came out of the kitchen with a damp rag and wiped the table where the parking guys had been sitting.“Hey, Julio didn't vote,” Clover said. She called to him. “Julio, how many reindeers does Santa Claus have?”Julio looked at her with a perplexed expression. “I don't know,” he said.“You know, like in the song. Dancer and Prancer and Donger and Blitzkin…”“Donger?” Roxanne asked.Julio shrugged. “I don't know that song.”“You don't know it? What the fuck country are you from?”He stared as her and said, “Colombia.”“Oh. Shit. Sorry, I wasn't trying to be rude.”“She doesn't have to try,” Roxanne said, “It's her default mode.”Julio shook his head and returned to the kitchen.“Give the brother a break,” Sporty said, “He's from South America. What the fuck he gonna know about reindeers? Ask him about llamas, he'll probably tell you everything you ever wanted to know.”“I can't think of anything I want to know about llamas,” Clover shot back. “But I do feel kind of bad for the guy. I mean, he'd have had a lot easier night if we hadn't come in here and bought burgers and shit for everybody.”“It's his job,” Roxanne said with a shrug.“Yeah, and we fucking threw a fit because we had to work on Christmas Eve.”“You threw a fit. I didn't.”“You didn't like it.”“No, but I acted like a fucking grown-up about it.”“Yeah, but you have to act like one because you don't look like one.”Sporty looked in the bag. “Anybody want this last burger?” he asked.Roxanne and Clover shook their heads.Sporty bit into the burger, swallowed and said, “You feel so bad for the guy, why don't you do something nice for him for Christmas?”“Like what?” Clover asked.“Like what the fuck you think?” Sporty asked.Clover looked at him for a minute, then tipped her head to look past him. Julio was wiping off the service counter.“He's not a bad looking guy,” Roxanne said.“Well then, why don't you go do it then?” Clover asked.“I wasn't a twat to him.”“Besides,” Sporty said with a grin, “she already got hers.”“I ain't gonna fuck him in the bathroom,” Clover said.Roxanne laughed. “The bathroom is clean, at least.”“You don't think I will do it, do you?”“Bitch, I stopped trying to figure out what you would or wouldn't do about the time you set my boyfriend's car on fire,” Roxanne said.Julio disappeared into the kitchen.“Fuck both of you,” Clover said. She got up and followed him.“Hey, Julio,” she called.He was standing at the dish sink and turned around at the sound of her voice.“Listen, dude,” she said, “I hope I didn't say anything that offended you or got you upset or what not. That's just me clowning around.”“It is fine. I understand.”“Well, I think we put a lot of extra work on you tonight, coming in here and disrupting and shouting and singing and all.”“No, it is fine, Missus.”“Well, it's Christmas and all that. I'd like to maybe give you a little something for your trouble…”Julio waved his hands. “No Missus, we are not allowed to except tips.”“Yeah, I wasn't talking about giving you money.”She looked around and saw an open door at the back of the kitchen. She walked to it and peered into a dark room.“What's in here?” she asked.“That's the manager's office.”Clover walked in and flipped the light switch. A large flat top desk against the far wall nearly filled the room. There was a faux leather swivel chair in front of it. Clover plopped down into it, spun around, and put her feet up on the desk.Julio stood in the doorway, looking nervous.“The manager does not like anyone sitting in his chair,” he said, “No one is allowed.”“But you're the assistant manager right?”“Si.”“So when he ain't here, you're the fucking manager and it's your chair.”“I do not think so…”“And I am your guest, so I can sit in your chair.”“Missus,” he said, “I know it's a foolish rule but I need this job.”“Do you think I'm gonna tell anybody about this?”Julio looked at her with a puzzled expression. “About what, Missus?”“First of all, stop calling me Missus. Then come over here and find out.”She sat up, put her feet on the floor and patted the top of the desk.Julio leaned back and looked around the kitchen as if he suspected someone might be lurking there.Clover patted the desktop again. “The boss told you not to sit in his chair, but he didn't say shit about sitting on his desk, did he?”“No. I suppose he did not.”She pushed the chair back until it banged into the wall. “So have a seat.”Julio bit his lip, seeming lost in thought, then sat on the edge of the desk.“Dude, lose that dumbass apron.”Julio reached behind his back and untied the apron. Before he could pull it over his head, Clover had his belt unbuckled. He watched with an expression of amazement as she deftly unsnapped his waistband, yanked down his zipper, and pulled his cock free.“Do all the men in Columbia have big dicks?” she asked as she wrapped her hand around it.“Si,” Julio said, “It is well known in Latin America, Missus.”“You call me Missus again and I might bite it off,” she said. She flicked her tongue at the head, then wrapped her lips around it and began to suck.Julio briefly lifted his hips from the desk and tugged his pants and shorts down to his thighs.Clover cupped his balls in her left hand, massaging them, while her right hand stroked his shaft. She took it in her mouth again, but almost immediately, she heard a chime ringing.She raised her head and asked Julio, “What the fuck is that?”Julio had a look of panic on his face. “Someone is at the drive-through,” he said, “I must go serve them.”He started to rise, but she put her hands on his hips and pushed him back down. “No, fuck that,” she said, “Stay right there.”She got up and rushed to the dining room. Roxanne and Sporty were sitting in the booth, kissing.“Hey, you fucking lovebirds, I need help here,” she shouted.When they looked at her in surprise, she said, “There's somebody in the fucking drive-through. Either of you guys ever work at a fast food place?”“I worked at Burger King in high school.” Sporty said.“Well, pry Roxy's hand off your whopper and get the fuck in here and find out what they want.”She disappeared back into the kitchen. Roxanne and Sporty looked at each other and shrugged.“I'll give it a try,” Sporty said. He slipped out of the booth and headed toward the kitchen, Roxanne following close behind.“It's like somebody told Santa they wanted a shit show for Christmas,” she muttered.Sporty went to the drive-through window and looked around. “Fuck. I don't know how to use this touchscreen shit,” he said.“Can you at least talk to the guy?” Roxanne asked.“Yeah, that shit looks the same. Hold on.”He was distracted by the sounds coming from the manager's office. “What's she doing in there?” he asked.“Sounds like she's sucking his dick.”“Damn, she's loud, too. Sounds like somebody got a rag stuck in their wet-vac.”He pressed several buttons on the communications panel, but nothing happened. He fiddled with the volume knob, and clicked the headset on and off, all to no avail. Suddenly, he was startled by a blasting horn, and looked over to see a white pick up truck right outside the window The driver, a large, red faced, bearded man, was glaring at him.“Honey, I don't think that's Santa Claus,” Roxanne said.Sporty slid the window open.“I've been out here trying to order for ten fucking minutes,” the man shouted.“Yeah, sorry about that,” Sporty said. “We got some kind of computer problem.”The man looked past him at Roxanne.“Looks to me like the problem is you're having some kind of party in there.”“Naw, she's the manager. She come in to try to fix it.”“So why isn't she fixing it?”“Sir,” Roxanne said, “I'm sorry, but there is nothing we can do about it until the tech guys get here.”“I worked to midnight on Christmas Eve. All I wanted was some burgers for when I get home.”“I'll see what I can get for you, no charge.”She went to the grill. There were onions simmering in the corner and pre-cooked patties in a warming pan. She found a package of buns and put a half dozen on the grill to brown.The man tapped his fingers impatiently on the door of his car.“This is some bullshit,” he barked at Sporty, “You got something for me or not?”“Roxy is fixing it up right now.”“The manager's name is Roxy?”“Yeah, she was named for her grandmom.”Roxanne's glasses kept steaming up from the grill's heat. She did her best to assemble the burgers, but one got no onions, one had triple pickle and some were drenched with mustard and ketchup while others got no more than a drop or two.She boxed the burgers, stacked them in a bag, and handed it to Sporty.“About time,” the man grumbled. “What about a Coke? I need something to drink.”“Coming right up!” Roxanne said with a big smile. As she poured a Coke from the dispenser she thought, I hope those burgers give you the shits, asshole.Sporty handed him the drink and cheerily said, “Merry Christmas, sir.”The man growled. “Yeah, right. I guess the two of you can get back to whatever you were doing now.”“Thank you, sir,” Sporty said, “But we already finished that. Appreciate the thought though.”The man glared at them, muttered something underneath his breath, and drove off.“What did he say?” Roxanne asked.“I didn't catch in, but I think one of the words started with an F and one with an N.”“Feliz Navidad?”“Most likely not.”“Should we figure out how this works, in case someone else pulls up?”“How long Julio gonna take getting his nut?”Roxanne shrugged.“Hold up,” Sporty said, “I got a better idea.”He walked to the back door, opened it and, looking outside, flicked a couple of light switches on the walk.“There you go,” he said.“What did you do?”“Turned off the outside lights, so the place looks closed.”Clover took Julio's cock into her mouth until she felt his pubic hair tickling her nose, then swallowed. That will keep him from trying to go see what's happening in the kitchen, she thought.When she was out of breath, she rose up, releasing his cock with a loud popping sound. She circled the head with her tongue a few times, then dove down and swallowed again. It was late, she was tired, her jaw was starting to ache and her belly was rumbling in complaint over its load of greasy hamburger.She sucked in her cheeks as hard as she could, and Julio exhaled loudly and raised his hips from the desk. As she lifted her head, Julio spurted into her mouth. She swallowed most of it, then picked up his apron off the desk and wiped her face with it, surreptitiously spitting out the rest of his load.He leaned forward, his head hanging low, while he recovered his breath. Clover stood up, and loudly burped.“Sorry about that,” she said.Julio stood, pulling up his pants.“It is okay, Missus.”They walked into the kitchen. Julio immediately noticed that it was dark outside the drive through window.“You friends, I think they turned off the lights,” he said, “I will have to turn them on and to see what else they might have done.”“Okay, well, Merry Christmas, dude.”“And to you, Missus.” Clover turned away, but he added, “Missus?”She looked back.“Maybe you will come for hamburgers again.”Clover looked him over. “Yeah, I might.”Roxanne and Sporty were sitting in the booth when Clover returned to the dining room. Roxanne was leaning against him, her head on his shoulder and her eyes shut.Clover sat down across from them. “You guys about ready to go?” she asked.Roxanne sat up straight and stretched. “Yeah we might as well,” she said.Sporty looked out the window. “That sleet shit turned into real snow,” he said. He nudged Roxanne. “Let me up, baby.”She stood and he slid out of the booth. “Give me your keys,” he said, “I'll get your car warmed up.”She fished her keys out of her purse and handed them to him as he put on his coat.Watching him walk out, Clover said, “When a man cleans the snow off your car for you, he's getting serious. Especially if he does it after you fuck him.”“I think asking me to come with him to his mom's house for Christmas shows that pretty good, too.”“So, stop being a fucking pussy about it. You think you're going to find another nice guy who is obviously crazy about you and doesn't give a shit what you do for a living?”Roxanne was silent for a minute. “It doesn't seem likely, does it?” she said at last.They kissed again and Sporty said, “You know, I had a lot of girlfriends before, but I never brought one home with me on Christmas.”She patted his cheek, kissed him and said, “I've had a lot of boyfriends before, but I never fucked one in the bathroom at White Castle on Christmas Eve.”She kissed him on the nose and dashed to her car, calling, “See you tomorrow, babe.”“It's about time,” Clover said, as Roxanne got into the drivers seat, “I'm freezing my tits off over here.”“That's because they're fake.”“Probably. They should've come with like a heater option.”“I wish I'd known it was a problem, I would have got you one for Christmas.”Clover reached across the console and squeezed Roxanne's hand.“Merry Christmas, Rhonda,” she said.Roxanne felt her eyes moisten. “Merry Christmas, Charlene.”The last display before the park exit, the grand finale, was a great arc of lights over the road. On the left, Santa rode in his sleigh, overflowing bags of gift boxes and teddy bears behind him. His reindeer stretched along the arc, their legs blinking in a dance across the night sky. At the right end of the display, Rudolph's nose glowed like a beacon.“Nine!” Clover shouted, “Bitch, count ‘em! nine fucking reindeers!”“Rudolph doesn't count.”“He counts in this town.”“Why? Because Parks and Rec says he does?”Clover sat back, her arms crossed over her chest in triumph. “Nine fucking reindeer,” she smirked.“Eight,” Roxanne muttered.“Nine.”“Eight…”By  MelissaBaby for Literotica

About two years ago, Buzzn The Tower had the absolute honor of having Rebecca Tickell on the show. If you don't know who Rebecca is, let me refresh your memory. In 1989 there was a movie called Prancer. It's about a farm girl who nurses a wounded reindeer she believes is one of Santa's, hoping to bring it back to health in time for Christmas. Her holiday spirit inspires those around her, something her disheartened father is having trouble understanding. You might remember her father, Sam Elliot, from such movies as Road House. And as far as the little girl with shine in her eye and Christmas in her heart, that's none other than Rebecca Tickell playing the role of Jessica Riggs. Two years ago we were lucky enough to have Rebecca on the show and now we have our first Buzzn The Tower holiday tradition! Each year we will dust off our interview, and give you all the pure joy of hearing from Jessica Riggs herself! Enjoy and Merry Christmas!

Gay homosexuals Nick and Joseph discuss ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Prancer - a 1989 Christmas fantasy drama film directed by John Hancock, starring Rebecca Harrell, Sam Elliott, Cloris Leachman, Abe Vigoda, Michael Constantine, Rutanya Alda, John Joseph Duda, and Ariana Richards. Additional topics include: -Gym etiquette -E-scooters -The deaths of Andre Braugher, Ellen Holly, Ken Kelsch, and Guy Marchand -And too many films to mention Want to send them stuff? Fish Jelly PO Box 461752 Los Angeles, CA 90046 Find merch here: https://fishjellyfilmreviews.myspreadshop.com/all Venmo @fishjelly Visit their website at www.fishjellyfilms.com Find their podcast at the following: Anchor: https://anchor.fm/fish-jelly Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/388hcJA50qkMsrTfu04peH Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/fish-jelly/id1564138767 Find them on Instagram: Nick (@ragingbells) Joseph (@joroyolo) Fish Jelly (@fishjellyfilms) Find them on Letterboxd: https://letterboxd.com/ragingbells/ https://letterboxd.com/joroyolo/ Nick and Joseph are both Tomatometer-approved critics at Rotten Tomatoes: https://www.rottentomatoes.com/critics/nicholas-bell https://www.rottentomatoes.com/critics/joseph-robinson --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/fish-jelly/support

This week Hollywood screenwriter Greg Taylor stops by the show! Greg wrote the scripts for the 90s kids' classics, Harriet the Spy and Jumanji, as well as one of Melissa's favorite holiday films, Prancer, which Greg later adapted for the stage. In this episode, we discuss:How the late great Cloris Leachman influenced Greg's script The reindeer in the film vs the stage playHow screenwriters and playwrights are treated differentlyAdapting novels to screenplays and screenplays to stage playsAnd more!Resources MentionedPrancer filmThe Rose TheaterPrancer script from Plays for New Audiences Prancer is playing at ALT, WV's Apollo Civic Theatre, and The Sauk during the 2023 holiday season.***We have a gift for 101 Stage Adaptations listeners! Download a  FREE PDF perusal copy of Prancer  here using the discount code is 101Prancer. Valid until December 1, 2024 and only valid on Prancer.***  About Our GuestGreg Taylor was born in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. He is a screenwriter, author and playwright.  His screenwriting credits include Prancer, Jumanji, and Harriet the Spy.Greg is married, with two children, Jessica and Ian, and two grandchildren. From the time he and his wife, Joanne, had their first child, Greg has concentrated on writing stories for families, children and young adults.For his adaptation of the stage version of Prancer, which premiered at the Rose Children's Theater in Omaha, Nebraska, in 2016, Greg received the Omaha Theater Arts Guild award for Outstanding New Script. Since Prancer's premiere and initial run, the play has been performed at community theaters throughout the US.Connect with host Melissa Schmitz***Sign up for the 101 Stage Adaptations Newsletter***101 Stage AdaptationsFollow the Podcast on Facebook & InstagramRead Melissa's plays on New Play ExchangeConnect with Melissa on LinkedInWays to support the show:- Buy Me a Coffee- Tell us your thoughts in our Listener Survey!- Give a 5-Star rating- Write a glowing review on Apple Podcasts - Send this episode to a friend- Share on social media (Tag us so we can thank you!)Creators: Host your podcast through Buzzsprout using my affiliate link & get a $20 credit on your paid account. Let your fans directly support you via Buy Me a Coffee (affiliate link).

Caution: Christmas spoilers ahead—proceed with care! In this episode, Gwenna and Tori chat about the magic of Christmas, from Dancer, Prancer, Donner, and Blitzen, to the iconic red man himself. This leads them to the one question that occupies the minds of parents during the holiday season: Is Santa Claus a lie we tell our kids? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, Rhiannon Cizon joins me from the Berrien County Historical Association to talk about Christmas Memories. We talk about the filming of 'Prancer' in Three Oaks, the Pickle Festival in Berrien Springs, the Christmas lights on the Bluff in St. Joseph, the Santa in the river in Niles, and many other stories. For more information on the Berrien County Historical Association, visit: https://berrienhistory.org/ For tickets to Tales of Christmas Past on December 16th, visit: https://events.humanitix.com/tours/christmaspast For more information on Michael Delaware, visit: https://michaeldelaware.com --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/talesofsouthwestmipast/message

"A Vist from St. Nicholas" by Clement Clarke Moore 'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the houseNot a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there;The children were nestled all snug in their beds;While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads;And mamma in her 'kerchief, and I in my cap,Had just settled our brains for a long winter's nap,When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.Away to the window I flew like a flash,Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow,Gave a lustre of midday to objects below,When what to my wondering eyes did appear,But a miniature sleigh and eight tiny rein-deer,With a little old driver so lively and quick,I knew in a moment he must be St. Nick.More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name:"Now, Dasher! now, Dancer! now Prancer and Vixen!On, Comet! on, Cupid! on, Donner and Blitzen!To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!"As leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky;So up to the housetop the coursers they flewWith the sleigh full of toys, and St. Nicholas too—And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roofThe prancing and pawing of each little hoof.As I drew in my head, and was turning around,Down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound.He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;A bundle of toys he had flung on his back,And he looked like a pedler just opening his pack.His eyes—how they twinkled! his dimples, how merry!His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,And the beard on his chin was as white as the snow;The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,And the smoke, it encircled his head like a wreath;He had a broad face and a little round bellyThat shook when he laughed, like a bowl full of jelly.He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;A wink of his eye and a twist of his headSoon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,And filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk,And laying his finger aside of his nose,And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose;He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight—“Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!” Hi, I'm Grace, and this is the Peter Piper Picked a Peck of Pickled Poems Podcast. It's a poetry podcast by a kid, for kids. Are you ready for today's Pickled Poem? Email pickledpoemspodcast@gmail.com and let me know what you thought about today's episode. I'd love to hear YOUR favorite poem, too, so make sure to include that in the email and it might show up in a future episode. Make sure your parents have subscribed to this podcast, and ask them to leave a rating and review so more kids and families can enjoy pickled poems.  Oh, and I should mention that this podcast is sponsored by the ⁠Homeschool Conversations with Humility and Doxology podcast⁠, which is hosted by my Mom. So if you have a parent listening, they should probably check that one out, too.  Now go pick a peck of pickled poems! I'll see you next week!

This is Your Friday Refresh brought to you by the UNA Christian Student Center. If you have a college age student in north west Alabama look up the Christian Student Center and get them connected. You will be glad you did. You can find them at Facebook.com/unacsc. Well you know Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixon. Comet and Cupid and Donner and Blitzen…but do you recall the most famous reindeer of all? Of course you do….you've sung the song…you've watched the claymation…and you have probably read the book  — or some variation of the story, hundreds of times. You have seen the decorations in every town across the globe… But do you know the story behind the story? Fiction often mimics real life in strange ways and the story behind the story certainly has some of the same elements. Links mentioned in this episode: http://www.benandtravis.com http://www.facebook.com/groups/benandtravis http://www.patreon.com/benandtravis Reframing Hope Book https://www.benandtravis.com/books Helping. Healing. Humor. with Ben and Travis: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/batify/id1457601152?mt=2&uo=4 Good Old Fashioned Dislike podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/good-old-fashioned-dislike/id1643163790 Co-Producers: Justin B., Doris C., Rhonda F., Scott K., Mary H. This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

Nate gives a heartfelt, emotional review of the movie Prancer. Bob and Nate then go into the Thanksgiving games and give their picks and Nate gives some holiday cheer with some prop bet specials. Add in a special family moment for Nate and you don't want to miss this one! Happy Thanksgiving!

In this episode I speak again with casting director, author, and channeler... Craig Campobasso. Craig and I discuss his expansive book series 'The Autobiography of an Extraterrestrial' which details the story of Thyron, a Pleiadian working on behalf of the Star Seed Alignment of Space Peoples and Planets to help activate mankind. We also discuss Craig's career as a casting director, and working on Hollywood films such as the sci-fi epic Dune. As we continue, we talk about the experiences that led Craig to channel this unedited book series which reveals some of the deepest history of Galactic races and Angelics, and their plan for planet Earth. An absolutely enthralling episode, do not miss this one! www.autobiographyofanet.comCraig Campobasso Bio:Craig Campobasso is an author, casting director, and award-winning filmmaker.Fresh out of high school, California native Craig Campobasso found himself working behind the scenes for four years on Frank Herbert's Dune. The father and daughter producing team, Dino and Raffaella De Laurentiis, and director David Lynch, were Craig's mentors into the business of filmmaking. After he apprenticed as a casting associate on Steven Spielberg's Amazing Stories, Raffaella later hired him to be casting director for the popular Christmas movie Prancer, starring Sam Elliott. Emmy-nominated for casting David E. Kelly's Picket Fences, Craig has been casting for more than three decades and is an acting coach in the Los Angeles area. Craig's passion is to write stories that provoke the reader to think, to raise their consciousness, to expand their mind about Creation, while still entertaining in the Hollywood tradition.   Craig directed, wrote and produced the short film Stranger at the Pentagon, which was adapted from the popular UFO book authored by the late Dr. Frank E. Stranges. After production, the short film collected accolades. In September 2014, it won Best Sci-Fi film at the Burbank International Film Festival, selling out all 275 seats—a first for the festival. In 2015, it won a Remi Award at the Worldfest Houston International Film Festival for Best Sci-Fi Short.  Craig has appeared on many radio shows, including Coast to Coast AM with George Noory. He has also been a guest on the Open Minds talk show, with Regina Meredith; and two episodes of Beyond Belief, hosted by George Noory on www.Gaia.com. Craig has also appeared on The History Channel's Ancient Aliens, where Giorgio A. Tsoukalos is the main Ancient Astronaut theorist. Personalized and autographed copies of Craig's four book Sci-Fi series “The Autobiography of an ExtraTerrestrial Saga" at this link: https://www.autobiographyofanet.com/books Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Jason Sierpien from Santa's Village joins WGN Radio's Dave Plier to talk about Pumpkin Palooza all this weekend through Monday at the amusement park, plus the first 600 kids get a FREE pumpkin! Santasvillagedundee.com

Today we are joined by the award-winning filmmakers Josh and Rebecca Tickell to discuss their latest film Common Ground and how we need to work with nature and not against it if we want to save our planet.    Common Ground is the highly-anticipated follow up to the documentary, Kiss the Ground, and tells the story of the growing Regenerative Agriculture Movement. Narrated by Laura Dern, Jason Momoa, Rosario Dawson, Woody Harrelson, Ian Somerhalder, and Donald Glover ~ the film follows the farmers, gardeners, scientists, scholars, activists and visionaries who are creating resilient, biodiverse food systems that produce tremendous amounts of nutritionally dense food while balancing the climate, healing our bodies, stabilizing the economy, and restoring our ecosystems. Our conversation explores the critical intersections of food, politics, power, climate, economy, culture, soil health, survival and the future of humanity. Josh and Rebecca open up about their creative process, daily life on Big Picture Ranch in Ojai, the journey of making this independent film, their mission to convert 100 Million Acres in the US to regenerative farmland, and shared intention for Common Ground to serve as a love letter, wake up call and roadmap for healing Earth for our future generations.  Thank you Josh and Rebecca for bringing this film into the world and for showing us how saving our soil might just save us all! CONNECT:  Common Ground Movie: Website | IG | FB | Youtube | X  | TikTok | Reddit | LinkedIn  Josh: Personal Website | @joshtickell  Rebecca: Personal Website  | @beccatickell Big Picture Ranch Watch the Trailer Get Tickets to the Film  Request Common Ground to be shown at your Local Theater Everything you need to know about Common Ground   Take Action  Host @nitsacitrine @soundfoodspace twitter Subscribe to Mercurial Mail (our monthly newsletter)   MENTIONED  Big Picture Ranch 100 Million Acres The Jungle by Upton Sinclair  The Tipping Point by Malcolm Gladwell  “Prancer”  Kiss the Ground Movie Kiss the Ground Organization  Josh's Films Josh's Books  Ryland Engelhart Ep.24 SWEETNESS OF THE EARTH with Sarah & Ryland Engelhart  Ep. 62 TRANSFORMATION THROUGH REGENERATION with John Roulac NOURISH This podcast is made possible by your donations and the symbiotic support of our partners:  Make a donation here LIVING TEA:  SOUNDFOOD for 20% off all tea nourishment at livingtea.net until Oct 14th! 15% off onwards  RESONANCE: find Nitsa's curation of living teas here (SOUNDFOOD for 20% off)  MIKUNA: enter SOUNDFOODFAMILY for 25% off  our favorite regenerative plant protein from the Andes Mikunafoods.com  LIVING LIBATIONS: enjoy 15% off all botanical beauty alchemy with this link https://livinglibations.com/soundfood (discount automatically applied) OSEA: CITRINE for 10% off oseamalibu.com sea-to-skin magic  CHRISTY DAWN: 15NITSA for 15% off farm-to-closet christydawn.com    LAMBS: CITRINE for 10% off your EMF protective gear getlambs.com P.S. We would be so grateful if you felt inspired to leave us a review on APPLE OR  SPOTIFY! Key Moments [17:35] Josh's viral sensation of “The Veggie Van”.  [18:25] Both Josh and Rebecca's curiosity into the marriage between modern living and living in which nature isn't harmed.  [19:08] The making of the partnership towards working on solutions to big environmental problems, and Big Picture Ranch serving as a place to make movies, raise children and animals, conferences and bring scientists and environmentalists together.  [20:17] The need to be the facilitator of nature rebuilding itself.  {20:50] Perspective of Stewardship through Agriculture + Nature  [21:50] How Rebecca's background in acting and appearing in the film “Prancer” showed her how films can create real-world results.  [23:08] Rebecca and Josh meet, fall in love, and develop a partnership on many levels  [24:02] Josh and Rebecca talk about the mind-blowing moments of making “Common Ground”.  [25:28] How do we even begin to heal, stabilize our climate, and fix our broken food system?  [27:00] The process of getting to “Common Ground” from “Kiss the Ground” is over 20 years in the making.  [29:00] Deep Ecology and the Soil  [30:42] Reflections on how the pandemic raised planetary consciousness and brought awareness to the connection between food and health… got people to be curious, to compost etc [33:43] Instead of thinking about ourselves as independent entities, we need to see how soil binds and connects us all.  [33:50] We are more bacterial cells than human cells [37:00] The film is hopeful and solution-oriented, but there are some dark and sobering moments that reflect reality.  [38:00] How the current system is affecting farmers and those who have been in the industry for generations  [40:04] The journey and gift of having A-list celebrities like Woody Harrelson, Jason Momoa, Ian Somerhalder, Rosario Dawson, and Laura Dern give their time to participate in the movie.   [48:24] The challenges and realities of modern farming.  [49:05] The impact of corporate, capitalist systems on farmers who are just trying to survive [49:50] most farmers operate at or in debt  [54:04] Regenerative Farmer success stories that occurred by just changing their technique as opposed to their technology.  [54:55 ] GMO seed/chemical trap  [1:01:26] Driving towards certified regenerative agriculture and the significance behind “100 million acres”.  [1:04:30] The goal of 1 Million Farmers [1:12:11] How one can bring a screening of “Common Ground” and Q&A to their community.  [1:155] What resonance means to Josh and Rebecca.   [1:22:03] Josh and Rebecca describe their last meal. Both would have it come straight from the farm, but Josh would add a sprinkling of delicious sweet potato fries!  

This is episode 130 and the Voortrekkers are moving inexorably towards Natal, where the Zulu king Dingana awaits. At about the same time and as you'll hear next episode, a large Voortrekker commando of more than 360 Boers, Griqua and the Rolong warriors were going to gather with the intent of finishing off Mzilikazi Khumalo. The amaNdebele king had arrived back at Mosega in the Klein Marico valley, and had also just fended off an impi sent by Dingana. By now, the number of trekkers arriving at Thaba ‘Nchu area had increased to a few thousand, including a large party under Pieter Jacobs that had left the Beaufort West district. These were the remnants of the Slagter's Nek rebellion, they were relatives of the Boers who'd been hanged 22 years earlier. I covered the Slagter's Nek rebellion in episode 74, the bitter resentment about what the British had done had never been forgotten nor forgiven. And here was the result, dozens of families from Beaufort West and elsewhere, determined to escape the might of the British Empire in their little wagons, determined to seek freedom on the expansive veld, the deep African hinterland with all its mysteries and excitement. There was also Jacob de Klerk who'd left the Baviaan's River district - 62 families in 30 wagons. Another important group were the 100 trekkers led by 72 year-old Jacobus Johannes Uys which had departed from the Uitenghage district in March 1837. The real leader of this group, however, was his son, Piet Uys. He'd befrended Louis Trichardt a few years before - and was called dynamic — energetic — charismatic. Uys had also visited Dingana two years before to sound out the Zulu king's views on possibly granting land to the trekkers in Natal. Uys was well liked in the eastern Cape — and when he arrived in Grahamstown en route to the hinterland, a deputation of 1820 British settlers turned up to present him with a huge Bible bound in leather from Russia and inscribed with a stirring message that God would guide the Voortrekkers because the Volk had faith. By April 1837, Dingana was even more troubled by the Qadi people and specifically, their chief Dube kaSilwane. They inhabited a small territory to the north of the Tugela in the vicinity of where Kranskop is today. Dube was often referred to a peace-loving, but some say this was post ipso facto because a lot of men killed by Dingana were characterised as peace-loving. But just to explain further, Zulu oral history says that Dingana had Dube killed for no other reason than he excelled during a dancing competition in which the Zulu king was participating. Very ancient rule there. If you have a dancing king, don't show off and make him look like an amateur. Bad career move. Uvezi, uNonyanda Mgabadeli goes the most famous izibongo zikaDingana, — Vezi Nonyanda, Mgabadeli means the Prancer and this is how the entire 430 line poem about Dingana starts.

This week we're gossin' 'bout how hard we throb for Dennis Quaid, movies that animals WERE harmed during the production of, the horrors of Prancer, Sam Smith kickstarting the satanic cabals great war to end us all at the Grammys, what did Jen say to Ben!?, MJ takes us back to the darkest Groundhog Day EVER, and in Celebrity Conspiracy Corner; Is Jay-Z a VIRGIN!? An award-winning List, Blindz, Shoutz, and MORE! Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast

This week Ken welcomes writer, director John D. Hancock to the show. Ken and John discuss the end of the world, extreme weather, John's Dad being in the NBC Radio Orchestra in Chicago, the transition from radio to TV and how it effected musicians, going to Harvard in the 1950s, Dr. Timothy Leary, Gus Van Zandt, pretending to know what actors are talking about, The Berliner Ensemble, running the Actor's Theater in San Francisco in the 1960s, directing Off Broadway plays, being in East Berlin, Bertolt Brecht, getting a grant from the AFI to do a short, businessmen who play touch football in central park, Let's Scare Jessica to Death, Bang the Drum Slowly, Robert DeNiro, William Wyler, Michael Moriarty, how only names sell tickets these days, platforming movies, optioning Regiment of Women, Warren Beatty, California Dreaming, having an awful experience on Jaws 2, Jan Michael Vincent, never having directed multi cam television, learning new skillsets directing on television, Hillstreet Blues, Cover Up, theater vs film, being sold a bill of goods by AIP, editing, running previews, why it's not always best to go with your gut, Weeds, trying to get Weeds re-released, Dino DeLaurentis losing the negative, Wolfen, Prancer, what films you show students, teaching at Second City, Wild Tales, and how young people will not do love scenes these days.

About a year ago, Buzzn The Tower had the absolute honor of having Rebecca Tickell on the show. If you don't know who Rebecca is, let me refresh your memory. In 1989 there was a movie called Prancer. It's about a farm girl nurses a wounded reindeer she believes is one of Santa's, hoping to bring it back to health in time for Christmas. Her holiday spirit inspires those around her, something her disheartened father is having trouble understanding. You might remember her father, Sam Elliot, from such movies as Road House. And as far as the little girl with shine in her eye and Christmas in her heart, that's none other than Rebecca Tickell playing the role of Jessica Riggs. About a year ago we were lucky enough to have Rebecca on the show and because Max irresponsibly went on vacation, and every person in my house has Covid, I'm doing a solo intro to our first rerun. So with that in mind, I'm Mo Shapiro and not joining me today is the former cohost of the show Max Sanders and with that let's revisit our time with Rebecca Tickell!

The guys talk Theo eating dinner with David Spade, running into Jelly Roll and punching Mike Perry, all new Trailer Park Hacks, buying skulls and skeletons, Elvis vs Barbie, armless MMA, the Tortilla Challenge, taking your girlfriend fishing, girls with shaved heads and much more!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The guys talk Theo eating dinner with David Spade, running into Jelly Roll and punching Mike Perry, all new Trailer Park Hacks, buying skulls and skeletons, Elvis vs Barbie, armless MMA, the Tortilla Challenge, taking your girlfriend fishing, girls with shaved heads and much more! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.