No Time to Not Win

Stothton and Walshman discuss night clubs and what an absolute, unmitigated nightmare they are. This may well and truly be a problem that is unsolvable.

Stothton and Walshman discuss how to fix the lack of commitment people show when it comes to new year's resolutions. Stothton has some big plans to get people on track.

Stothton and Walshman discuss the problems of Christmas in modern society and how it can be fixed. Also, on a side note, Stothton gives some truly incredible financial advice in this episode. Buy that Ferrari and go live your life.

Stothton and Walshman discuss Tapas, possibly the greatest con in the food industry. The real question is, do we try and fix this or do we join the game?

Stothton and Walshman discuss a particularly hot button issue: the discrimination of people who prefer boneless chicken wings over bone-in chicken wings.

Stothton and Walshman discuss brunch and the ridiculous people posting their mimosas on instagram.

Stothton and Walshman discuss two incredibly concerning issues: people wearing beanies in the middle of summer and people wearing crocs in public.

Stothton and Walshman discuss the Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 servers being reactivated.

Stothton and Walshman discuss the nationwide destruction of bagel shops by the bros, the ridiculous health trend of gulping down disgusting green shakes, and the pure terror that comes from drinking John's signature coffee.

Stothton and Walshman discuss people wearing adult diapers to Taylor Swift concerts and the OceanGate submarine implosion.

Stothton and Walshman discuss kids burning their feet on hot pavement, President Biden falling yet again, and Jack interviews a potential ChatGPT prompt engineer.

Stothton and Walshman discuss an exciting potential business venture. The energy drink market will never be the same after this.

Stothton and Walshman discuss terrible drivers, shitting before you leave home, shutting down schools with fart spray, and Jack's solution to the tip automation problem. 

Bill Chafton is back and he and John discuss apple tech and Bill's efforts to pull himself from the depths of a deep and dark addiction.

Stothton and Walshman discuss the automated tipping epidemic and the growing rift between smart and dumb people.

Stothton and Walshman discuss idiots who love zodiac signs, tech layoffs, job hunting on Twitter and LinkedIn, and yet another weird and awkward Joe Biden speech.

Stothton and Walshman discuss Netflix screwing their subscribers, wolves being reintroduced into Colorado to reduce the rapidly growing dog population, and gas stoves apparently causing all of the world's climate and health problems.

Stothton and Walshman discuss Amazon's acquisition of Roomba for 1.7 billion dollars and what this means for mankind. Get ready for a fat and greasy future folks.

Stothton and Walshman discuss "activists" glueing themselves to things and dumping milk on grocery store floors.

Stothton and Walshman discuss people who get other people's faces tattooed on their body and Salt Bae winning the world cup.

Stothton and Walshman discuss the Liver King's "apology" and Taylor Swift's absurd concert ticket prices.

Jack Walshman complains about getting bagels in New York City and Stothton tells him how everything he does is wrong and explains the proper way to get bagels.

Stothton and Walshman discuss the new predator movie, Prey. Neither of them have actually seen this movie, but lack of knowledge has never stopped them before and it isn't going to stop them now. They also discuss some incredible uses of WD-40 that you may not know about.

Stothton and Walshman discuss President Biden's incredible speech, Mark Zuckerberg's appearance on Joe Rogan's podcast, and Meta's latest image of Horizon Worlds. Also, Walshman meets with a potential supplier of artisan towels that are supposedly incredibly high quality.

Stothton interviews Jarenthal Salavante AKA Jay Slivs, an audio engineer to possibly replace Chris.

Stothton is back and discusses some extremely important topics suggested by political advisor Jack Walshman. On the docket this episode is Drake's new album, bathroom hand driers, the world cup being held in Qatar, and the mega millions lottery.

Stothton discusses various news topics with political advisor Jack Walshman in another round of "Action Items with John".  This episode was recorded a while back when these topics were fresh, but our sound engineer decided to go on a two month pot smoking binge and forgot to put the episode out. Don't worry, I am going to think of a very creative way to reprimand him.

On this weeks episode, Stothton spends 40 minutes roasting a Ford dealership's corny Tiktok videos with his mechanic, Chase Wallaz. Admittedly, Chase gets a bit aggressive and lets some unsavory words fly, but you must admit these videos are embarrassingly horrendous. I won't call out the dealership by name, but they need to get their shit together.

Continuing on from last week, we go through another round of action items on the docket. We discuss fraudulent high school principles, Mike Tyson punching a guy in the face, the current state of San Francisco, Zuck bucks, and Australia dropping the hammer on financial influencers.

We had a number of items to go through on this action items episode, but it turned into a deep dive into one item, the newly passed bill to federally legalize marijuana. That's just how it goes sometimes and I think we cracked this topic wide open. Also, on a side note, if you're Chinese you may want to steer clear of Tim Watson.

Stothon attempts to discuss the new mac studio with Bill Chafton. The keyword here is "attempts". Stothton gave Bill one more chance and it goes about as well as you would expect. All I'll say is Bill better watch his back, because Chill Bafton is coming. Also, don't forget to email Chill Bafton at chillbaftonantirealestate@billchaftonsucksdick.com for all ideas related to ruining Bill Chafton's real estate business.

Stothton and Walshman reluctantly discuss the whole situation with Will Smith slapping Chris Rock at the Oscars and it turns into a jumping off point to discuss the new societal rules regarding how one can act when they are offended. Apparently anything goes as long as it's clear that you're offended. Next time you want to kick someone in the teeth just remember to first tell them that they offended you and then you're good to go.

Stothton and Walshman discuss proper etiquette when celebrating one's birthday. Just smoke your cigars, drink your scotch, and eat your steak. Anything else is bullshit for losers.

This one is a bit different folks. Dave from HR mentioned in a previous episode that John needed to start hiring younger people and it's time to meet the first batch of candidates Dave scrounged up. 

Stothton discusses the metaverse with Ned Melter and Bill Chafton. This is a long one folks and we go deep into how close we are to a real metaverse. Guess what...it turns out we're not close at all. Also, Bill has absolutely lost his mind over virtual real estate and Ned turns out to not be who he says he is. Turns out he might be a certain someone whose first name starts with M and last name start with Z.

Stothton positively discusses Tim Watson's positive progress with improving his quality of work and health in a positively positive way. The whole thing is all very positive and nothing celebrates positivity like a couple slices of classic NYC pizza with friends...one way or the other...

Stothton discusses corporate employment in the age of social media with Dave Buckner, the head of the HR department. Apparently, I need to hire a bunch of 20-something year old do-nothings, because everyone is a winner and everyone deserves a trophy no matter what.

Stothton discusses audio engineering, poor audio quality, and how much Pro Tools sucks with Christian, his audio engineer. So far I'm not impressed with Christian's work and I'm starting to think he wants a better look at that lovely view from the 70th floor.

Stothton discusses a couple of recent news topics with Tim Watson. This week's topics include a 400-pound gold cube in NYC (apparently its "art"), Joe Rogan vs. Neil Young, and antiwork falling apart after a ridiculous interview.

Stothton discusses group events and group dinners in particular with Jack Walshman. Well, really Jack just goes on a rant about how much group dinners suck. Let's be honest, they really do. Anyone who enjoys going to a dinner (or any event really) with more than 5 people at once is definitely the kind of person who absolutely loves chit-chatting about the weather.

Stothton discusses a recent New York Post article with Jack Walshman about a boyfriend breaking up with his girlfriend shortly after she gave him one of her kidneys. We will probably never know who is truly the victim here, but we discuss some possibilities on both sides. But, more importantly than that, at least one of these kids better be a cold-hearted sociopath or I will be very disappointed.

Stothton discusses Walmart etiquette with Chase Walaz and Jack Tetherton. Get in, get out, stop wandering around like you're lost in a forest, and don't wear your gross stained pajamas. You're not a wild animal so stop acting like it. Very simple.

Stothton and Walshman get an update from Tim Watson on his new year's resolutions. Neither John nor Jack were impressed with Tim's progress and made a few minor changes to Tim's resolutions to get him moving.

Stothton tries to discuss CES 2022 with Bill Chafton and Jack Walshman, but Bill decided to completely derail the whole episode and talk about his new "calling" in life...real estate.

Stothton discusses new year's resolutions with Tim Watson. Resolutions are designed to fail and there is no reason to believe that 2022 can't be worse than 2021 so can we please stop living in fantasy land. Stop counting arbitrary numbers and go fix your life. Tim doesn't even understand the hell he is going to pay if he doesn't follow through on his resolutions.

Stothton recaps his Christmas office party with his Uncle Glenn. Uncle Glenn has some interesting revisions he thinks should be added next year and I am fairly certain John will add none of them.

Stothton recaps his 10 floor Christmas office party with Jack Walshman. Jack is in pretty bad shape and his family isn't too happy with his actions on Christmas day. He is even questioning whether we should keep doing this, but John knows that in a couple weeks Jack will be ready for more.

Only one episode this week, but it's a good one. Stothton discusses plans for his company's annual Christmas office party with political advisor Jack Walshman. This party spans the top 10 floors of his building, lasts 10 hours long, and is actually happening the day this episode releases. You better take notes, because this is a master class in how to hold a holiday office party. Suffice to say this party is going to change people's lives; some for the better and many for the worse.

As a lifelong scotch drinker, Stothton attempts to broaden his horizons by inviting "certified" master cicerone Steven Rippér to advise him on the best of the best in the world of beers. You can't believe everything you read on people's resumes and we definitely should have done a more thorough background check, because it turns out Steven isn't quite the beer expert we thought he was. Also, he apparently has some weird obsession with the Fast and Furious movies...

Stothton and Walshman discuss the trend of self service that is replacing customer service more and more these days. Walshman is very much not a fan of this and goes on a bit of a rant about how it is apparently ruining the country. He also has some interesting advice for anyone else who doesn't like it.

Stothton discusses the new COVID variant Omicron with scientific consultant Jack Tetherton. Jack discusses his current and future studies regarding an effective cure. Jack first told us all about his ideas for battling COVID back on episode 17. Maybe had we all listened to him back then, we wouldn't be in this situation.