No Time to Not Win

No Time to Not Win

Follow No Time to Not Win
Share on
Copy link to clipboard

--DISCLAIMER-- It is what it is. All information discussed in this podcast is solely the opinions and views of John Stothton and his extremely intelligent expert guests. In no way should this information be considered professional advice in any aspect of one's life. This information works for John solely because he is so much better than you.

John Stothton


    • Feb 16, 2024 LATEST EPISODE
    • monthly NEW EPISODES
    • 28m AVG DURATION
    • 146 EPISODES


    Search for episodes from No Time to Not Win with a specific topic:

    Latest episodes from No Time to Not Win

    146 - The Night Club Placebo Effect

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 16, 2024 45:01


    Stothton and Walshman discuss night clubs and what an absolute, unmitigated nightmare they are. This may well and truly be a problem that is unsolvable.

    145 - The New Year's Resolution Enforcement Plan

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 19, 2024 63:20


    Stothton and Walshman discuss how to fix the lack of commitment people show when it comes to new year's resolutions. Stothton has some big plans to get people on track.

    144 - The Christmas Equivalency Conjecture

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 4, 2024 74:33


    Stothton and Walshman discuss the problems of Christmas in modern society and how it can be fixed. Also, on a side note, Stothton gives some truly incredible financial advice in this episode. Buy that Ferrari and go live your life.

    143 - Tapas, Where's the Rest of It?

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 22, 2023 66:37


    Stothton and Walshman discuss Tapas, possibly the greatest con in the food industry. The real question is, do we try and fix this or do we join the game?

    142 - End Boneless Chicken Discrimination

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 17, 2023 44:22


    Stothton and Walshman discuss a particularly hot button issue: the discrimination of people who prefer boneless chicken wings over bone-in chicken wings.

    141 - Here's the Thing With Brunch and Mimosas

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 30, 2023 68:24


    Stothton and Walshman discuss brunch and the ridiculous people posting their mimosas on instagram.

    140 - Beanies and Crocs vs. Sticky Gloves and Steel Soled Boots

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 14, 2023 50:40


    Stothton and Walshman discuss two incredibly concerning issues: people wearing beanies in the middle of summer and people wearing crocs in public.

    139 - Classic Modern Warfare 2 is back. WAKE UP AND LOCK IT IN!!

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 31, 2023 40:54


    138 - Bro Discrimination, I'm All for It

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 17, 2023 62:00


    Stothton and Walshman discuss the nationwide destruction of bagel shops by the bros, the ridiculous health trend of gulping down disgusting green shakes, and the pure terror that comes from drinking John's signature coffee.

    137 - The Sad Life of a Billionaire Businessman

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 7, 2023 63:29


    Stothton and Walshman discuss people wearing adult diapers to Taylor Swift concerts and the OceanGate submarine implosion.

    136 - The President Needs Steroids And We Need ChatGPT

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 4, 2023 80:46


    Stothton and Walshman discuss kids burning their feet on hot pavement, President Biden falling yet again, and Jack interviews a potential ChatGPT prompt engineer.

    135 - Logan Paul's Prime Is for 600 Pound Losers

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 2, 2023 47:26


    Stothton and Walshman discuss an exciting potential business venture. The energy drink market will never be the same after this.

    134 - No One Else has an Ivory Toilet

    Play Episode Listen Later May 26, 2023 53:06


    Stothton and Walshman discuss terrible drivers, shitting before you leave home, shutting down schools with fart spray, and Jack's solution to the tip automation problem. 

    133 - The Return of Bill Chafton

    Play Episode Listen Later May 5, 2023 64:06


    Bill Chafton is back and he and John discuss apple tech and Bill's efforts to pull himself from the depths of a deep and dark addiction.

    132 - What am I Tipping?

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 28, 2023 52:13


    Stothton and Walshman discuss the automated tipping epidemic and the growing rift between smart and dumb people.

    131 - Does Jack Believe in Astrology?

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 14, 2023 59:56


    Stothton and Walshman discuss idiots who love zodiac signs, tech layoffs, job hunting on Twitter and LinkedIn, and yet another weird and awkward Joe Biden speech.

    130 - Netflix, Wolves, and Stoves

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 24, 2023 75:50


    Stothton and Walshman discuss Netflix screwing their subscribers, wolves being reintroduced into Colorado to reduce the rapidly growing dog population, and gas stoves apparently causing all of the world's climate and health problems.

    129 - Amazon and Roomba's Fat and Greasy Future

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 2, 2023 42:44


    Stothton and Walshman discuss Amazon's acquisition of Roomba for 1.7 billion dollars and what this means for mankind. Get ready for a fat and greasy future folks.

    128 - Brave Activism with Glue and Milk

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 10, 2023 41:01


    Stothton and Walshman discuss "activists" glueing themselves to things and dumping milk on grocery store floors.

    127 - Salt Bae Won the World Cup

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 3, 2023 46:04


    Stothton and Walshman discuss people who get other people's faces tattooed on their body and Salt Bae winning the world cup.

    126 - Taylor Swift Is The Real Liver King

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 14, 2022 57:10


    Stothton and Walshman discuss the Liver King's "apology" and Taylor Swift's absurd concert ticket prices.

    125 - Bro City Bagels

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 4, 2022 49:23


    Jack Walshman complains about getting bagels in New York City and Stothton tells him how everything he does is wrong and explains the proper way to get bagels.

    124 - Predator and WD-40 Are Awesome

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 25, 2022 44:43


    Stothton and Walshman discuss the new predator movie, Prey. Neither of them have actually seen this movie, but lack of knowledge has never stopped them before and it isn't going to stop them now. They also discuss some incredible uses of WD-40 that you may not know about.

    123 - Shazam's Fantastic Towels

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 16, 2022 89:20


    Stothton and Walshman discuss President Biden's incredible speech, Mark Zuckerberg's appearance on Joe Rogan's podcast, and Meta's latest image of Horizon Worlds. Also, Walshman meets with a potential supplier of artisan towels that are supposedly incredibly high quality.

    122 - Jay Slivs Gone Done It

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 9, 2022 15:50


    Stothton interviews Jarenthal Salavante AKA Jay Slivs, an audio engineer to possibly replace Chris.

    121 - Action Items #7 - We Need to Catch Up to Drake

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 8, 2022 94:36


    Stothton is back and discusses some extremely important topics suggested by political advisor Jack Walshman. On the docket this episode is Drake's new album, bathroom hand driers, the world cup being held in Qatar, and the mega millions lottery.

    120 - Action Items #6, Tighten the Chest and Loosen the Gut

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 3, 2022 63:18


    Stothton discusses various news topics with political advisor Jack Walshman in another round of "Action Items with John".  This episode was recorded a while back when these topics were fresh, but our sound engineer decided to go on a two month pot smoking binge and forgot to put the episode out. Don't worry, I am going to think of a very creative way to reprimand him.

    119 - MUSTANG MACH-E BABY!!!!

    Play Episode Listen Later May 6, 2022 43:57


    On this weeks episode, Stothton spends 40 minutes roasting a Ford dealership's corny Tiktok videos with his mechanic, Chase Wallaz. Admittedly, Chase gets a bit aggressive and lets some unsavory words fly, but you must admit these videos are embarrassingly horrendous. I won't call out the dealership by name, but they need to get their shit together.

    118 - Action Items #5, Good Cons and Lazy Cons

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 29, 2022 72:27


    Continuing on from last week, we go through another round of action items on the docket. We discuss fraudulent high school principles, Mike Tyson punching a guy in the face, the current state of San Francisco, Zuck bucks, and Australia dropping the hammer on financial influencers.

    117 - Action Items #4, MORE Act, more bullshit

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 22, 2022 62:46


    We had a number of items to go through on this action items episode, but it turned into a deep dive into one item, the newly passed bill to federally legalize marijuana. That's just how it goes sometimes and I think we cracked this topic wide open. Also, on a side note, if you're Chinese you may want to steer clear of Tim Watson.

    116 - Chill Bafton Is Coming For You

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 15, 2022 25:16


    Stothon attempts to discuss the new mac studio with Bill Chafton. The keyword here is "attempts". Stothton gave Bill one more chance and it goes about as well as you would expect. All I'll say is Bill better watch his back, because Chill Bafton is coming. Also, don't forget to email Chill Bafton at chillbaftonantirealestate@billchaftonsucksdick.com for all ideas related to ruining Bill Chafton's real estate business.

    115 - Will Smith's Slap Is Fine Cuz He's Offended

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 8, 2022 55:36


    Stothton and Walshman reluctantly discuss the whole situation with Will Smith slapping Chris Rock at the Oscars and it turns into a jumping off point to discuss the new societal rules regarding how one can act when they are offended. Apparently anything goes as long as it's clear that you're offended. Next time you want to kick someone in the teeth just remember to first tell them that they offended you and then you're good to go.

    114 - Birthday Etiquette, Cigars, Scotch, and Steak

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 1, 2022 34:38


    Stothton and Walshman discuss proper etiquette when celebrating one's birthday. Just smoke your cigars, drink your scotch, and eat your steak. Anything else is bullshit for losers.

    113 - Interview Hell, The Correct Answer is Money

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 18, 2022 22:30


    This one is a bit different folks. Dave from HR mentioned in a previous episode that John needed to start hiring younger people and it's time to meet the first batch of candidates Dave scrounged up. 

    112 - Metaman Was Here

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 11, 2022 60:22


    Stothton discusses the metaverse with Ned Melter and Bill Chafton. This is a long one folks and we go deep into how close we are to a real metaverse. Guess what...it turns out we're not close at all. Also, Bill has absolutely lost his mind over virtual real estate and Ned turns out to not be who he says he is. Turns out he might be a certain someone whose first name starts with M and last name start with Z.

    111 - Tossing Tim A Win

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 4, 2022 37:02


    Stothton positively discusses Tim Watson's positive progress with improving his quality of work and health in a positively positive way. The whole thing is all very positive and nothing celebrates positivity like a couple slices of classic NYC pizza with friends...one way or the other...

    110 - Young People Suck, Statistically

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 22, 2022 27:58


    Stothton discusses corporate employment in the age of social media with Dave Buckner, the head of the HR department. Apparently, I need to hire a bunch of 20-something year old do-nothings, because everyone is a winner and everyone deserves a trophy no matter what.

    109 - Pro Tools With the Freeze Handler Dude

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 18, 2022 24:53


    Stothton discusses audio engineering, poor audio quality, and how much Pro Tools sucks with Christian, his audio engineer. So far I'm not impressed with Christian's work and I'm starting to think he wants a better look at that lovely view from the 70th floor.

    108 - Action Items #3, With John and Fat Terminator

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 11, 2022 65:55


    Stothton discusses a couple of recent news topics with Tim Watson. This week's topics include a 400-pound gold cube in NYC (apparently its "art"), Joe Rogan vs. Neil Young, and antiwork falling apart after a ridiculous interview.

    107 - Jack Hates Group Dinners (And So Do I)

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 30, 2022 47:42


    Stothton discusses group events and group dinners in particular with Jack Walshman. Well, really Jack just goes on a rant about how much group dinners suck. Let's be honest, they really do. Anyone who enjoys going to a dinner (or any event really) with more than 5 people at once is definitely the kind of person who absolutely loves chit-chatting about the weather.

    106 - Kidney Donations, Long Cons, and God's Path

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 25, 2022 31:16


    Stothton discusses a recent New York Post article with Jack Walshman about a boyfriend breaking up with his girlfriend shortly after she gave him one of her kidneys. We will probably never know who is truly the victim here, but we discuss some possibilities on both sides. But, more importantly than that, at least one of these kids better be a cold-hearted sociopath or I will be very disappointed.

    105 - Walmart Etiquette, Mentally Disgusting

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 18, 2022 27:47


    Stothton discusses Walmart etiquette with Chase Walaz and Jack Tetherton. Get in, get out, stop wandering around like you're lost in a forest, and don't wear your gross stained pajamas. You're not a wild animal so stop acting like it. Very simple.

    104 - 100 lbs and a House in Alaska

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 14, 2022 11:36


    Stothton and Walshman get an update from Tim Watson on his new year's resolutions. Neither John nor Jack were impressed with Tim's progress and made a few minor changes to Tim's resolutions to get him moving.

    103 - Bill Gets Into Real Estate

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 11, 2022 12:10


    Stothton tries to discuss CES 2022 with Bill Chafton and Jack Walshman, but Bill decided to completely derail the whole episode and talk about his new "calling" in life...real estate.

    102 - Tim Watson's New Year's Resolutions

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 7, 2022 12:04


    Stothton discusses new year's resolutions with Tim Watson. Resolutions are designed to fail and there is no reason to believe that 2022 can't be worse than 2021 so can we please stop living in fantasy land. Stop counting arbitrary numbers and go fix your life. Tim doesn't even understand the hell he is going to pay if he doesn't follow through on his resolutions.

    101 - Uncle Glenn's Christmas Party Recap

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 4, 2022 12:05


    Stothton recaps his Christmas office party with his Uncle Glenn. Uncle Glenn has some interesting revisions he thinks should be added next year and I am fairly certain John will add none of them.

    100 - Christmas Party Recap, Jack's in Bad Shape

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 28, 2021 23:45


    Stothton recaps his 10 floor Christmas office party with Jack Walshman. Jack is in pretty bad shape and his family isn't too happy with his actions on Christmas day. He is even questioning whether we should keep doing this, but John knows that in a couple weeks Jack will be ready for more.

    99 - Stothton's 10 Floors of Christmas

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 23, 2021 66:01


    Only one episode this week, but it's a good one. Stothton discusses plans for his company's annual Christmas office party with political advisor Jack Walshman. This party spans the top 10 floors of his building, lasts 10 hours long, and is actually happening the day this episode releases. You better take notes, because this is a master class in how to hold a holiday office party. Suffice to say this party is going to change people's lives; some for the better and many for the worse.

    98 - Corona and Sh**ty Movies Like Fast and Furious

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 17, 2021 41:21


    As a lifelong scotch drinker, Stothton attempts to broaden his horizons by inviting "certified" master cicerone Steven Rippér to advise him on the best of the best in the world of beers. You can't believe everything you read on people's resumes and we definitely should have done a more thorough background check, because it turns out Steven isn't quite the beer expert we thought he was. Also, he apparently has some weird obsession with the Fast and Furious movies...

    97 - Self Serve Coffee, It's All Free

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 10, 2021 25:05


    Stothton and Walshman discuss the trend of self service that is replacing customer service more and more these days. Walshman is very much not a fan of this and goes on a bit of a rant about how it is apparently ruining the country. He also has some interesting advice for anyone else who doesn't like it.

    96 - Omicron, We Should Have Listened To Jack The First Time

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 7, 2021 23:42


    Stothton discusses the new COVID variant Omicron with scientific consultant Jack Tetherton. Jack discusses his current and future studies regarding an effective cure. Jack first told us all about his ideas for battling COVID back on episode 17. Maybe had we all listened to him back then, we wouldn't be in this situation.

    Claim No Time to Not Win

    In order to claim this podcast we'll send an email to with a verification link. Simply click the link and you will be able to edit tags, request a refresh, and other features to take control of your podcast page!

    Claim Cancel