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10 episodes with karen loritts
2 episodes with karen loritts
2 episodes with karen loritts
3 episodes with karen loritts
2 episodes with karen loritts
2 episodes with karen loritts
2 episodes with karen loritts
2 episodes with karen loritts
2 episodes with karen loritts
¿Quiénes son las mentoras que más han moldeado su vida? Hoy escucharemos a algunas de las mujeres más influyentes del cristianismo (Bárbara Rainey, Karen Loritts, Mary Kassian, Holly Elliff y Carolyn McCulley) responder a esa pregunta y ofrecer su propia sabiduría a las mujeres que asistieron a la conferencia Mujeres Verdaderas. To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/692/29
¿Quiénes son las mentoras que más han moldeado su vida? Hoy escucharemos a algunas de las mujeres más influyentes del cristianismo (Bárbara Rainey, Karen Loritts, Mary Kassian, Holly Elliff y Carolyn McCulley) responder a esa pregunta y ofrecer su propia sabiduría a las mujeres que asistieron a la conferencia Mujeres Verdaderas. To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/692/29
Si pudiera retroceder el tiempo para cambiar algo en su vida, ¿qué es lo que cambiaría? Bárbara Rainey, Karen Loritts, Mary Kassian, Holly Elliff y Carolyn McCulley comentan acerca de lo más difícil sobre vivir la feminidad bíblica en sus propias vidas. To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/692/29
Si pudiera retroceder el tiempo para cambiar algo en su vida, ¿qué es lo que cambiaría? Bárbara Rainey, Karen Loritts, Mary Kassian, Holly Elliff y Carolyn McCulley comentan acerca de lo más difícil sobre vivir la feminidad bíblica en sus propias vidas. To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/692/29
Defender la verdad no es popular, pero es necesario. Bárbara Rainey nos enseña cómo crecer juntos en la verdad a través de historias sobre cómo otras personas creyeron profundamente en la verdad de Dios. Ella cuenta las historias de Karen Loritts, una niña en los proyectos de Filadelfia que ancló su vida en la Palabra de Dios, y de Martín Lutero, un joven que se puso a regatear con Dios y terminó revolucionando a la Iglesia. To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/692/29
Defender la verdad no es popular, pero es necesario. Bárbara Rainey nos enseña cómo crecer juntos en la verdad a través de historias sobre cómo otras personas creyeron profundamente en la verdad de Dios. Ella cuenta las historias de Karen Loritts, una niña en los proyectos de Filadelfia que ancló su vida en la Palabra de Dios, y de Martín Lutero, un joven que se puso a regatear con Dios y terminó revolucionando a la Iglesia. To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/692/29
Your crisis can be a sacrifice to the Lord. Karen Loritts gave God control over a crisis in her life. But then she kept trying to take it back.
Your crisis can be a sacrifice to the Lord. Karen Loritts gave God control over a crisis in her life. But then she kept trying to take it back.
Your crisis can be a sacrifice to the Lord. Karen Loritts gave God control over a crisis in her life. But then she kept trying to take it back and solve it herself. She describes what it means to truly trust on Revive Our Hearts with Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth. To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/453/29
Your crisis can be a sacrifice to the Lord. Karen Loritts gave God control over a crisis in her life. But then she kept trying to take it back and solve it herself. She describes what it means to truly trust on Revive Our Hearts with Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth. To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/453/29
What circumstances threaten your trust? After someone caused great pain to her family, Karen Loritts wanted to lash out in anger and hurt someone.
What circumstances threaten your trust? After someone caused great pain to her family, Karen Loritts wanted to lash out in anger and hurt someone. She shares what she learned about trusting through tears, on Revive Our Hearts with Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth. To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/453/29
What circumstances threaten your trust? After someone caused great pain to her family, Karen Loritts wanted to lash out in anger and hurt someone. She shares what she learned about trusting through tears, on Revive Our Hearts with Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth. To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/453/29
How can we call “Good Friday” good? Dannah, Nancy, Keith and Kristyn Getty, and Crawford and Karen Loritts talk about the transforming power of the cross.
Karen Loritts dice que todos lidiamos con relaciones difíciles, y es por eso que necesitamos la esperanza que solo Dios provee. Acompáñanos.
Karen Loritts dice que todos lidiamos con relaciones difíciles, y es por eso que necesitamos la esperanza que solo Dios provee. Acompáñanos.This show is part of the Spreaker Prime Network, if you are interested in advertising on this podcast, contact us at https://www.spreaker.com/show/3279340/advertisement
Karen Loritts dice que todos lidiamos con relaciones difciles, y es por eso que todas necesitamos la esperanza que solamente Dios provee. El da de hoy ella concluye esta serie titulada: Una resolucin de fe, y en este episodio compartir con nosotras cmo puedes liberarte de la falta de perdn y la amargura. No te pierdas esta enseanza, en Aviva Nuestros Corazones con Nancy DeMoss de Wolgemuth. To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/1337/29
Karen Loritts dice que todos lidiamos con relaciones difíciles, y es por eso que necesitamos la esperanza que solo Dios provee. Acompáñanos.This show is part of the Spreaker Prime Network, if you are interested in advertising on this podcast, contact us at https://www.spreaker.com/show/3279343/advertisement
Karen Loritts dice que todos lidiamos con relaciones difíciles, y es por eso que necesitamos la esperanza que solo Dios provee. Acompáñanos.
Karen Loritts dice que todos lidiamos con relaciones difíciles, y es por eso que necesitamos la esperanza que solo Dios provee. Acompáñanos.This show is part of the Spreaker Prime Network, if you are interested in advertising on this podcast, contact us at https://www.spreaker.com/show/4064350/advertisement
Karen Loritts dice que todos lidiamos con relaciones difíciles, y es por eso que necesitamos la esperanza que solo Dios provee. Acompáñanos.This show is part of the Spreaker Prime Network, if you are interested in advertising on this podcast, contact us at https://www.spreaker.com/show/4231678/advertisement
Hoy comenzamos una nueva serie que se titula: «Una resolución de fe», con Karen Loritts. No te pierdas el episodio de hoy.
Hoy comenzamos una nueva serie que se titula: «Una resolución de fe», con Karen Loritts. No te pierdas el episodio de hoy.This show is part of the Spreaker Prime Network, if you are interested in advertising on this podcast, contact us at https://www.spreaker.com/show/3279340/advertisement
Hoy comenzamos una nueva serie que se titula: Una resolucin de fe, con Karen Loritts. Ella nos va a mostrar cmo el miedo nos afecta y cmo trae consigo otras tentaciones. No te pierdas el episodio de hoy y recibe palabras de aliento y edificacin. Esto en Aviva Nuestros Corazones con Nancy DeMoss de Wolgemuth. To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/1337/29
Hoy comenzamos una nueva serie que se titula: «Una resolución de fe», con Karen Loritts. No te pierdas el episodio de hoy.This show is part of the Spreaker Prime Network, if you are interested in advertising on this podcast, contact us at https://www.spreaker.com/show/3279343/advertisement
Hoy comenzamos una nueva serie que se titula: «Una resolución de fe», con Karen Loritts. No te pierdas el episodio de hoy.
Hoy comenzamos una nueva serie que se titula: «Una resolución de fe», con Karen Loritts. No te pierdas el episodio de hoy.This show is part of the Spreaker Prime Network, if you are interested in advertising on this podcast, contact us at https://www.spreaker.com/show/4064350/advertisement
Hoy comenzamos una nueva serie que se titula: «Una resolución de fe», con Karen Loritts. No te pierdas el episodio de hoy.This show is part of the Spreaker Prime Network, if you are interested in advertising on this podcast, contact us at https://www.spreaker.com/show/4231678/advertisement
Karen Loritts suggests that you need three types of friends: Someone who is more mature in faith than you, someone who is a peer, and someone you can mentor.
Karen Loritts suggests that you need three types of friends: Someone who is more mature in faith than you. Someone who is a peer. And someone you can mentor. Learn how to develop these kinds of friendships from guest Karen Loritts, on Revive Our Hearts with Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth. To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/453/29
Karen Loritts went through a season of life she calls her “meltdown.” She needed a group of godly friends to walk with her through this time.
Karen Loritts went through a season of life she calls her meltdown. She needed a group of godly friends to walk with her through this time. On Revive Our Hearts with Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth, Karen shows you how to develop the kind of friendships you need to handle the meltdowns in your life. To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/453/29
We hear from the amazing, Ms. Karen Loritts talking about advocating for mercy and justice, that's rooted in the heart of God. Ms. Karen is a reconciler in Atlanta, who puts an emphasis on using the voice that God has given us to leverage for the kingdom. Websites & Social Media https://www.instagram.com/karenloritts/ https://www.reviveourhearts.com/authors/karen-loritts/
In a culture that speaks of toxic masculinity, it's encouraging to witness evidence that God created men to be good. Hear from Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth, Karen Loritts, Mary Kassian and more on encouraging Godly manhood. Join Dannah Gresh...on Revive Our Hearts Weekend. To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/453/29
In a culture that speaks of toxic masculinity, it's encouraging to witness evidence that God created men to be good. Hear from Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth, Karen Loritts, Mary Kassian and more on encouraging Godly manhood. Join Dannah Gresh...on Revive Our Hearts Weekend. To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/453/29
How do you build a firm foundation in marriage? Start with Christ as the center. Dannah Gresh is joined by Crawford and Karen Loritts, Dennis and Barbara Rainey, and Stephen Kendrick....on Revive Our Hearts Weekend. To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/453/29
How do you build a firm foundation in marriage? Start with Christ as the center. Dannah Gresh is joined by Crawford and Karen Loritts, Dennis and Barbara Rainey, and Stephen Kendrick....on Revive Our Hearts Weekend. To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/453/29
Is there any cure for bitterness? Karen Loritts knows what it's like to be hurt. She knows what it's like to harbor bitterness.
Fear tempts all of us. Karen Loritts says one problem with fear is that it brings buddies. Find out what she means as she speaks candidly about fear.
Karen Loritts has graced many hearts with encouragement and God's hope as she uses God Word to reach a hurting, lost and dying world. She is also a renowned author and speaker. Karen is the wife of Pastor Crawford Loritts, and is the featured speaker for Hope Unlimited Ministries at their annual event on Thursday, Oct. 28th from 6:00 to 8:30 p.m. Details are available on the community calendar at moodyradio.org/chattanooga. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Barbara Rainey, Karen Loritts, Mary Kassian, Holly Elliff, and Carolyn McCulley talk about the value of mentoring. Show Notes and Resources Find resources from this podcast at https://shop.familylife.com/Products.aspx?categoryid=130. Download FamilyLife's new app! https://www.familylife.com/app/ Check out all that's available on the FamilyLife Podcast Network. https://www.familylife.com/familylife-podcast-network/
Crawford & Karen Loritts share 7 Habits Of A Thriving Marriage. We know that if the marriage is healthy then the home is going to be healthy and a great place for discipleship to take place!
Crawford & Karen Loritts join the show to talk about how parents can create and curate a culture of discipleship in the home. Karen & Crawford Loritts highly recommend Tim Kimmel and the book Grace Based Parenting. You can find that resource and more by clicking https://gracebasedfamilies.com/staff/tim-kimmel/ (here).
In this episode, Christine talks with pastor's wife, mom, and grandmother, Karen Loritts about life, marriage, and ministry that spans many decades. With all her experience in life, she has much wisdom to share. Listen as Christine asks her what has helped her endure, what her thoughts are as an African American woman regarding the big picture of race in America, and what she has done in marriage to make it almost 50 years. LINKS FROM THE SHOWPine Cove // Weep With Me // Color of Compromise // One Race // Be The BridgeCHRISTINE'S LATEST BOOK Order Christine's book, With All Your HeartDownload the With All Your Heart study guideEPISODE SPONSORS Find out more about the new book, Hoping for Happiness, by Barnabas Piper.REVIEW BY FAITH ON ITUNESCONNECT Connect with ChristineWebsite // Facebook // Instagram // Twitter // Books Sign up for Christine's monthly newsletter By Faith is produced by Jesse WerzingerMusic for By Faith was created by The Silver PagesArtwork for By Faith was created by Reed Harmon
We continue our discussion with Dr. Crawford and Karen Loritts by putting a Gospel lens on social justice as well as movements and ideologies like Black Lives Matter and Critical Race Theory.
Susan and Brooke sit down with Dr. Crawford and Karen Loritts to discuss what it was like to live in America before the Civil Rights Movement, what has changed since and what must happen for greater healing to take place today.
On today’s show, Tim reads chapters from Dr. Crawford Loritts & his wife Karen’s latest book, Your Marriage Today…and Tomorrow—Making Your Relationship Matter Now & for Generations to Come. WFIL’s Rewards Club is currently offering the opportunity to win the book! Dr. Crawford Loritts & his wife Karen wrote this book together. They’ve been married almost 50 years and spent the last 30 years speaking on marriage (including with FamilyLife “Weekend To Remember” events). Your Marriage Today…and Tomorrow will teach you: the Biblical foundation for marriage godly disciplines and habits that will improve your marriage, and how to use your marriage to shape future generations, changing the lives of countless people Get entered on the CONTESTS & SURVEYS page at wfil.com! Make sure to tune in live weekdays 4-5pm ET on AM 560 WFIL!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
On today’s show, Tim welcomes author & speaker Dr. Crawford Loritts. They talked about the book, “Your Marriage Today…and Tomorrow—Making Your Relationship Matter Now & For Generations To Come.” Written together with his wife, Dr. Crawford and Karen Loritts have been married 45 years and have spent the last 30 years speaking on marriage. This book contains their most successful, proven material. It will teach you: the biblical and theological foundation for marriage godly disciplines and habits that will improve your marriage how to use your marriage to shape future generation Make sure to tune in live weekdays 4-5pm ET on AM 560 WFIL! Music ft: Looking for You (Kirk Franklin)See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
A Biblical Portrait of Womanhood (Part 1) - Nancy Leigh DeMossA Biblical Portrait of Womanhood (Part 2) - Nancy Leigh DeMossA Biblical Portrait of Womanhood (Part 3) - Nancy Leigh DeMossA Biblical Portrait of Womanhood (Part 4) - Nancy Leigh DeMossA Biblical Portrait of Womanhood (Part 5) - Nancy Leigh DeMossFamilyLife Today® Radio Transcript References to conferences, resources, or other special promotions may be obsolete. Becoming a Woman of Character Day 5 of 5 Guest: Nancy Leigh DeMoss From the series: A Biblical Portrait of Womanhood Bob: One of the ways for a woman to tell if she's been influenced by the ideology of feminism is to examine her own thinking and see if there is a root of selfishness present there. Here is Nancy Leigh DeMoss. Nancy: If I say my body is my own, I will run my own life, it doesn't matter what men see or what they think, I am living for myself. But if I am willing to embrace God's plan for my life, then I say, "When I dress or behave or talk or act in any way, if it is a way that tears down and harms men rather than helping them and building them up, then I have failed in my divine purpose." Bob: This is FamilyLife Today for Friday, June 20th. Our host is the president of FamilyLife, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. What should a 21st century woman think about subjects like chastity and purity and modesty? We'll talk about it today. Stay tuned. And welcome to FamilyLife Today, thanks for joining us on the Friday edition. This week we've been looking at womanhood from a biblical perspective, and it's interesting, the Bible says that all of us are to be people of godly character and yet there are some things, there are some character qualities or characteristics that the Bible would point to as being distinctively feminine, and that's what we want our focus to be about in this time together today. Dennis: It's interesting, you hear all kinds of messages to men about being men of character, but I can't recall a message to women on being women of character. Nancy: And yet it's interesting that the Scripture has so very much to say about the character of women. Dennis: Yes. Bob: Which is why we wanted to get into the subject today and let me, if I can, Dennis, introduce for the listeners who don't recognize our guest's voice, Nancy Leigh DeMoss is joining us this week. Nancy is the host of a daily radio program called "Revive Our Hearts," that is heard on many of the same stations that carry our program, FamilyLife Today. She is an author and is going to be hosting a national conference for women in Chicago coming up in October. It's called True Woman '08. A number of speaks who are going to be there, including Janet Parshall and Joni Eareckson Tada, your wife, Barbara, is going to be there, our friend, Karen Loritts is going to join Nancy, and John Piper is also going to be speaking at this conference. And I know Mary Ann is looking forward to being at the conference. If our listeners are interested in more information about how they can attend the national True Woman '08 conference in Chicago, they can go to our website, FamilyLife.com, click where it says "Today's Broadcast," and there is a link there that will take them to the registration area for True Woman '08, and they can plan to be a part of that conference. And I know one of the things you're going to talk about at the conference is how women can better understand what we've been talking about this week – biblical femininity. And there are a lot of components to that portrait. Help us out – if a woman wants to be all God wants her to be, as a woman, what is the starting place for her? Nancy: Again, we have to go back to the Scripture and not let the world press us into its mold but go back and draw our understanding and our authority from the Scripture. I think of a passage such as 1 Peter, chapter 3, known to many of us, as women, but if we go back and examine that passage, it has so much to say about our character, as women. It's talking about, in this specific context, a woman who has an unsaved husband. How does she influence his life? How does she help to draw him toward Christ? And I say to women often, as they come to one of my seminars, "Now, you may be going back into a home where your husband doesn't necessarily see all these truths," and I say to them, "Don't start putting tracts in his cereal bowl or putting your seminar notes under his pillow." The Scripture talks about a much more powerful means of influence; it talks about our subjection, and we talked about that earlier this week, about the coming under authority, but then it talks about our pure, chaste behavior. And the other passages that shed light on this in the New Testament talk about a woman of modesty in the way that she conducts herself, in the way that she dresses, a woman whose heart is pure, a woman who is morally pure. You know, we used to have to address the subject of moral purity just with men, but now we find today that in our sensual culture that many, many women struggle with these issues of fantasizing of the books and novels that they are reading, the magazines that they are reading, the TV programs that they're watching that are fueling immoral thoughts and behavior in their lives, and the Scripture says the woman of God, a true woman, is the woman who has pure behavior. She is chaste in her behavior. Dennis: Yes, and it's interesting that purity of heart is expressed in the way she not only behaves but in the way that she dresses. Nancy: The Scripture tells us that a wise woman builds her home, but a foolish woman is going to tear it down, and in the Book of Proverbs, one of the ways that a foolish woman tears down the men around her is with the way that she dresses and the way that she carries herself. Proverbs 7 talks about a woman who sets out to entice or to ensnare a man who is simple, who is naïve, who is lacking wisdom. And one of the ways she does that is by provocative dress. Bob: Do you think there is any difference between God's call to a woman being chaste and pure and His call to a man to be morally pure? Nancy: Well, certainly, both created in the image of God and both redeemed by the grace of God, we are to be pure in heart toward God, but the Scripture talks about specific characteristics that will be true of a woman if she is not pure or if she is pure. For example, Proverbs talks about a woman who is loud and stubborn and her feet abide not in her house. She is brash, she is bold, she is brazen, and Proverbs tells us that as a jewel of gold in a swine's snout, so is a beautiful woman, a woman who is outwardly beautiful, but she lacks discretion. And I think about – a pig is a pig is a pig. You can put designer clothes on that pig, and you can put makeup on it and give it a designer handbag and expensive jewels, but it's still a pig, and I think that so many of us, as women today, are outwardly adorning and dressing up and fixing up something that in its heart is a pig. And the Scripture says if a woman, though she may be outwardly beautiful, does not have discretion, if she is not discreet in the way that she carries herself and handles her relationships with men and with those in her family, that all that outward adorning is of little value and really is ludicrous if it's put on someone who doesn't have a godly heart. Dennis: You know, one of the things I pray frequently for my daughters is that they will have discretion, and occasionally one of them will stop me in that prayer and say, "Dad, what do you mean, discretion? What are you talking about there?" And they'll get a chance to talk about being a woman who is wise about how she behaves and how she carries herself in the presence of men. And 1 Timothy, chapter 2, verse 9, I think, really outlines how a woman is to carry herself. It says, "Likewise, I want women to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly. Not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly garments but rather by means of good works as befits women making a claim to godliness." Now, that reminds us of the goal. The goal is not physical beauty. The goal is a woman whose life is a portrait of feminine beauty that glorifies God; that is Christ-like. I want my daughters to understand at points that a hemline that's too high, a neckline that's too low, a dress that fits too tight, are all moving them away from godliness toward provoking the opposite sex to be interested in them for the wrong reasons. It takes a dad stepping into their lives sometimes and a mom doing so at the same time to reinforce this. I'm going to tell a practical illustration of this from this summer, and this was really interesting, because last summer another family and ours joined together to have one of these old-fashioned pictures made – you know, a western picture where you get the guns that are 100 years old, and you get the chaps and all this stuff. And our daughters, all of our daughters, had put on outfits that were appropriate for a bar scene. Now, how shall I say it, okay? And it's amazing how quickly these things can happen. I mean, in an instant, boom, that other dad and I were faced with a choice. To me, there was no choice. We were about to take a picture, and it looks harmless and fun, and I don't think our daughters had anything malicious in their minds when they did this, but what happened was they got together with some other teenagers at that point, and they put these dresses on, and they were inappropriate. And so we said, "Hold it. You've got to redo this." But it's interesting, Nancy, at that point, all of that occurred with two mothers kind of involved in the process, kind of unaware of what had happened. It really just kind of snuck up on them. Bob: Well, and I think one of the reasons that dads noticed it right off is because the nature of the dress is provocative to men. And it might take a few minutes longer for that to sink in with women who aren't immediately aware. I think there are some cases of innocent indiscretion on the part of Christian women who just don't give full thought to what they are wearing or to how that clothing might provoke a response from a man. Dennis: Right, and I think it's at those points, as dads and as men, we've got to be loving, very relational, by the way, and not just pound the table and say, "Take it off." But instead recognize the culture we are in but nonetheless hold forth the standard of biblical femininity, which we just read – adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly, and use those times as an opportunity to teach. Nancy: And that's where, Dennis, you are fulfilling the role God has entrusted to you as a man, which is to be the protector and the priest and the king in the most loving sense possible of your home, and that's where your daughters are given the opportunity to learn how to fulfill their God-created role, which is to be a helper to the men. You see, if I say "My body is my own, I will run my own life, it doesn't matter what men see or what they think, I am living for myself." But if I am willing to embrace God's plan for my life, then I say, "When I dress or behave or talk or act in any way, if it is a way that tears down and harms men rather then helping them and building them up, then I have failed in my divine purpose." Dennis: And, Nancy, as Barbara and I have been in the process of raising four daughters, they are not all the same. They don't all have the same sensitivity to these issues. They need help. Nancy: You know, there is an interesting passage in the last chapter of the Song of Solomon that talks about two different kinds of women, and it uses the imagery of a door and of a wall. The bride describes a little sister that she has who is developing and what kind of woman she will become, and she talks about the kind of woman who is a door, a picture of one who yields easily, who is perhaps flirtatious or bold or indiscreet in her relationships with men. Then she uses the opposite kinds of pictures as a woman who is like a wall that is firm, her life built on convictions, and she says, "What shall we do for our sister, depending on which of these kind of women she is?" I've found that women, daughters, younger women and older women, naturally fall into one of these two categories. And her bridegroom says to her, "If she is a wall, then we will build upon her a palace of silver. Her life is a foundation fit to build a home for a king." But he said, "If she is a door, if she gives in easily to the advances of men, if she is naïve in some of these areas, then we will enclosed her with boards of cedar." We will put parameters around her and tighter restraints for her protection and so that she can develop to the place where she will become a wall. Dennis: And finally grow up and have her own discretion. Bob: Nancy, there is a passage in Scripture that talks about a woman having a gentle and quiet spirit, and I know a lot of women who think of themselves as naturally in opposition to that passage. They just think, "This is what God wants. Why did He make me the way I am, because I am not a gentle and quiet-spirited woman?" What is that passage talking about and how does a woman develop a gentle and quiet spirit? Nancy: Well, I think, Bob, it's important, first of all, we recognize that the Scripture is not here talking about something that's just a matter of personality. God made us with different personalities. Some people are naturally more outgoing than others, and I am a more outgoing type of person. I can remember, as a younger woman, thinking when I would hear this phrase, I would think of some women I knew who were just very shy and quiet and mousy, and I'd think, "If that's what it means to be a godly woman, I'm not sure that's what I want to be and I'm sure I can't be." And to deal with the "want to" issue, again, I have to come back to am I willing to let the Word regulate and control my life? But it's helpful to know that the Scripture is talking here not about my personality as much as the spirit of the woman. When it speaks of a woman being gentle – another translation renders that as "meek" – this speaks of a woman who is not demanding, who does not insist on having her way and, again, we live in a rights-crazed generation. We emphasize rights, and we're going to produce rebellion and, in fact, we have. Rather, we need to be emphasizing responsibility – responsibility to yield my rights. Even traffic laws recognize that you don't say to someone, "You have the right of way," we say, "You yield the right-of-way." And, as women, there is a beauty – 1 Peter 3 says, "This is what is beautiful to a woman. This is what causes God to look at a woman and say, 'She is beautiful.'" This is what gives a woman her true beauty, because any beauty that is external is fleeting, it is fading, it's not going to last. But a woman who has beauty of the spirit is going to increase and part of that beauty is a meekness; it's a yielding of her rights; there's a quietness there. That word means a tranquility that arises from within, causing no disturbance to others. And the picture here is a woman who trusts in God so she does not have to manipulate her circumstances, she doesn't have to be a controller, she doesn't have to manipulate her husband. She is a woman who has, because she trusts in God, she has a grateful spirit, and I think that grateful spirit flows out of a meek and a quiet spirit. Dennis: Practically speaking, address the mom who is raising a daughter who may be a little Nancy Leigh DeMoss. She may have a personality that's very outgoing, she may even be loud. Very loud, in fact, and, of course … Nancy: Are you saying I'm loud? [laughter] Dennis: I didn't, Nancy. I was actually thinking of some of my children. But I was thinking of some hope for Barbara in this process, actually. What would you say to that mom as she raises a child who may not have a personality that is naturally quiet? Nancy: Again, this is a matter of the heart and of developing a spirit that trusts in God, that does not intimidate or run over other people, and these are issues I've had to continue to have to walk through in my own life. I can walk into a staff meeting in our ministry where there are mostly men in the room and, without saying a word, at times, or by saying just a few words, can subtly manipulate and control the environment of that room, and that's not the place God has for me. There are times, as a woman, when I need to not say everything that I'm thinking but to be quiet, to wait on the Lord, to listen to Him, and then when I speak to know that it's God who has given the direction and that when I speak it's with a spirit that is surrendered and yielded and trusting in God that I don't have to be in charge of the world. That's what Satan said to Eve, "You can be like God. You can be your own god," and the drive of our natural flesh is to run the world. You know, I just think, you let me have the reins of this ministry or this family or this world, and I'll take it. Bob: If a woman has a gentle and quiet spirit, the output of her life, and I'm thinking particularly of her speech, that's going to be reflected in her communication, isn't it? Nancy: Oh, there's no question, because out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks. Again, if I could hearken back to the Song of Solomon, one of the things this bridegroom appreciates about his bride, he says, "Honey and milk are under your tongue." He talks about her speech being comely and being beautiful and this being attractive to him. Think about honey and milk – what do they do? Honey strengthens that which is weak and milk builds up young, immature bones. It helps to grow, and I have to ask myself as I read that passage and other passages such as Proverbs 31:26 talks about a woman who opens her mouth with wisdom, and in her tongue is the law of kindness. And I have to say, "O Lord, set a watch over my mouth and, by Your Holy Spirit control my heart in such a way that the words that I speak will benefit, they will bring grace. We women can be so cutting, so hurting, so wounding with our tongues, and this is where a woman who uses her tongue to threaten divorce, to cut up and belittle and criticize her man does not perhaps realize how much damage she is doing not only to him but ultimately to their relationship and to their capacity to reflect the glory of God to our world. Bob: And to her own sense of femininity. She is, essentially, robbing herself at that moment of the womanhood that God wants to display in her. Dennis: Yes, because she's stepping outside of what God created her to be and her character and, Nancy, I'm grateful today that you have – well, you've taken us back to the Bible to take a look at a woman's character but, at the same time, talk about it while painting this portrait of what it means to be a feminine woman. Bob: I know our listeners are grateful, as well, and I know they're grateful for your ministry on "Revive Our Hearts," your daily radio program, you're ministry in writing. We have a number of your books in our FamilyLife Resource Center including the bestselling book, "Lies Women Believe." The booklet called "A Biblical Portrait of Womanhood," your Bible study guide, "Seeking Him," and many more of the resources that you've created to help women understand God's plan for them. And if our listeners are interested in any of these resources – and let me just say here, if you haven't read "Lies Women Believe," that's a great place to start. And you'll find more information about it on our website at FamilyLife.com. When you get to the home page, look to the right side of the screen. You'll see a box that says "Today's Broadcast." Click where it says "Learn More," and that will take you into the area where there is information about the resources that are available from us written by Nancy Leigh DeMoss. There is also information about the upcoming True Woman '08 conference that's happening in October in Chicago. This is a national conference for women that features Nancy Leigh DeMoss and Barbara Rainey, John Piper, Janet Parshall, Joni Eareckson Tada, Keith and Kristyn Getty will be there leading worship, and it looks like it's going to be a sold out event. So if listeners are interested in attending, they ought to register as soon as possible. Go to our website, FamilyLife.com and, again, click where it says "Today's Broadcast" on the right side of the home page. That will take you to an area where there is a link to the True Woman '08 conference site, and you can get more information about the upcoming conference or register online, if you'd like. You can also contact us if you're interested in ordering any of Nancy's resources by telephone. Our number is 1-800-358-6329. That's 1-800-F-as-in-family, L-as-in-life, and then the word TODAY. Someone on our team will make arrangements to have the resources you need sent out to you. When you do get in touch with us, if you can make a donation to help support the ministry of FamilyLife Today, we would appreciate it. We are listener-supported. Your donations make a huge difference. They make it possible for us to be here on this station each day and on other stations all across the country as well. We appreciate your financial support. This month, when you make a donation of any amount, we would love to send you a CD that features a message from Pastor Stu Weber about what biblical manhood looks like. It's a message called "Applied Masculinity," and the CD is our gift to you as a way of saying thanks for your financial support of FamilyLife Today. If you are donating online, you will come to a box that says "keycode" out in front of it on the donation form. Type in the word "Stu" there, s-t-u, and we'll know to send you a copy of the CD on manhood. Or call 1-800-FLTODAY, make a donation over the phone and just ask for the CD about manhood or the CD from Stu Weber and, again, we're happy to send it to you. It's our way of saying thanks for your financial support of the ministry of FamilyLife Today. Dennis? Dennis: Well, this has been a great day, Bob, talking about the character of a feminine woman today and all this week, in fact, and, Nancy, I want to thank you for helping to paint a portrait of what it means to be a biblical woman, a feminine woman and equipping so many women to be that and also helping so many mothers to raise the next generation of young women, and I want to thank you for being on the broadcast. Nancy: It's been a privilege, Dennis, and I've been challenged myself to let God continue to make me into His kind of woman. Dennis: I want to conclude today's broadcast by asking you to pray for all of our women listeners in their assignments because they are varied, and yet we need God to grant them favor where He has them. Nancy: Father, I just want to thank you for Your wisdom and Your divine choice. And, as women, we just want to come to You and cry out and say that we need You, we need Your mercy, we need You to change us and to make us what You want us to be. We know that of ourselves we cannot be godly women, that we need the filling of Your Holy Spirit. So we ask for that, and I ask, Lord, that you would give to us that heart, that spirit, that lifestyle that You find beautiful, that we would reflect what it means to be the bride of Christ with a heart of humility and surrender and brokenness and giving back love as You have loved us. And, Lord, thank you for the men that you are raising up in this generation to provide protection and covering for our lives. I pray that You would bless them in fulfilling their God-given role and help us, as women, to make it easy for them, and I pray that we will love them and serve them and help them in such a way that one day they can give account with joy; that we make it easy for them to lead; that we encourage them and create a climate where they can be all that You made them to be. And, Lord, our prayer is that, as women complementing and helping those men that together we will be able to reflect to our world what You are like and that the world will be drawn to know You because of what we have shown them of Your heart and Your ways. We pray it in Jesus' name, amen. Bob: FamilyLife Today is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas – help for today; hope for tomorrow. _____________________________________________________________We are so happy to provide these transcripts for you. However, there is a cost to transcribe, create, and produce them for our website. If you've benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider donating today to help defray the costs?Copyright © FamilyLife. All rights reserved. www.FamilyLife.com
A Biblical Portrait of Womanhood (Part 1) - Nancy Leigh DeMossA Biblical Portrait of Womanhood (Part 2) - Nancy Leigh DeMossA Biblical Portrait of Womanhood (Part 3) - Nancy Leigh DeMossA Biblical Portrait of Womanhood (Part 4) - Nancy Leigh DeMossA Biblical Portrait of Womanhood (Part 5) - Nancy Leigh DeMossFamilyLife Today® Radio Transcript References to conferences, resources, or other special promotions may be obsolete. Living God's Design for Your Life Day 2 of 5 Guest: Nancy Leigh DeMoss From the series: A Biblical Portrait of Womanhood Bob: What does womanhood look like biblically at home? Here is Nancy Leigh DeMoss. Nancy: Scripture talks about a woman as reverencing her husband, honoring him, lifting him up; a woman who loves her husband, loves her children. Proverbs speaks of the importance of a woman having the quality of discretion. I think so many of these come back to the fact that God made us, as women, to be responders and to allow the men to be the initiators that God created them to be. Bob: This is FamilyLife Today for Tuesday, June 17th. Our host is the president of FamilyLife, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. What are the core character qualities that define biblical womanhood? We'll talk about that today, stay tuned. And welcome to FamilyLife Today, thanks for joining us on the Tuesday edition. I remember when I was growing up, back then the "CBS Evening News" was hosted by Walter Cronkite – remember – Walter Cronkite, and over on NBC it was Chet Huntley and David Brinkley, and I don't remember who was on ABC and neither does anybody else because nobody was even watching ABC. And so the executives over at ABC, I think it was Fred Silverman at the time, decided he was going to have two anchors, kind of like Huntley-Brinkley. One of them was going to be Harry Reasoner, and the other Barbara Walters. And for the first time, America was going to be asked to get their evening news from a woman. There was a lot of discussion – was America ready to have a woman as a nightly news anchor? And, you know, we look at that now from the perspective of more than 30 years, and it's almost laughable. I heard somebody the other day saying that most of the cable news anchors are women today, and we don't think anything of it. And yet back then we were asking a lot of questions about what is the essence of manhood, what is the essence of womanhood? And, frankly, even though we'd look back at having a female news anchor being revolutionary, and we'd laugh about that today, I still think there is a lot of confusion in our culture today about what's at the essence of manhood, and what's at the essence of womanhood? Dennis: And because of the cultural shift, there has been a shift in the Christian community. Unfortunately, we have lost our biblical moorings, our anchor point in the Scripture, and I fear that we're raising a generation of daughters and, for that matter, sons, who do not know what it means to be a woman or to be a man. And that's why we're committing these broadcasts just to helping women truly have a good grasp of what it means, biblically speaking, to be a woman. And with us in the studio to help us here on a second day is Nancy Leigh DeMoss – Nancy, welcome back. Nancy: Thank you. Dennis: Nancy has spoken to women's groups for more than 20 years, and I think it's fair to say, Nancy, that this is a life message for you – defining what it means and painting a portrait of femininity, is that right? Nancy: Well, God certainly has given me a heart to glorify Him, as a woman, and that means that there are issues that have to be wrestled with. Bob: Yes, and you spend time wrestling with this issues on your daily radio program, "Revive Our Hearts," which many of our listeners are familiar with because it's heard on some of the stations that also carry FamilyLife Today. You have also written a number of books including a bestselling book called "Lies Women Believe." There is a new book out called "Lies Young Women Believe." You've written a study guide called "Seeking Him," and our listeners may not know that you're going to be hosting a national conference in Chicago coming up in October. It's called True Woman '08, and you're going to be speaking there along with Joni Eareckson Tada and Janet Parshall and, Dennis, your wife, Barbara is going to be there, Karen Loritts is going to be speaking as well – Pastor John Piper is going to be speaking to the ladies, and there is already a lot of excitement about this conference. In fact, it's starting to fill up. So if our listeners are interested in attending the True Woman '08 conference, they should go to our website, FamilyLife.com, and click where it says "Today's Broadcast" on the right side of the screen, and they'll find a link to the True Woman website, and they can get registered online and plan to attend the conference. Let me ask you about this issue of masculinity and femininity. Does the Bible give us insight into why God created us differently? Why He created us male and female? Nancy: Well, actually, God answers that question for us in His Word, thankfully. And we find, if we go back to the Genesis record, that God made the man first, God created the man in His image, unlike all that had preceded man, unlike the animals or the plants or the seas, the waters. God looked at the man and said, "It's not good." It's not good that the man should be alone. And then it is interesting to me that God sent Adam on a little hunt to find, if he could, a completer for himself. Adam failed in that attempt. There was no completer for him, and then I think Adam realized that God was the one who had to provide his completion. God was the one who had to provide that which would complement him. And then, as we know, God put the man to sleep … Bob: And I don't know this, but I bet he snored like crazy during that nap. Nancy: Probably, probably. Bob: Just guessing on that. Dennis: You think? Bob: I just am guessing he was in a deep sleep and was sawing some mean logs. Nancy: Isn't snoring the result of the Fall? Bob: Well, that's a good question. Dennis: That's a great question. I'm more certain of this – that when God came walking up with the answer to the question, "Why am I incomplete?" He woke up at that point, didn't he? Nancy: He did, and the thing that's helpful for us, as women, to understand is that God made us for the man. So much of the teaching in our generation has been that the woman was is to be independent of the man; that her identity is not to be tied into that of the man. But as we go back to the manual of life that we have here in God's Word, the manual that tells us how life can best function, we find that God made woman for the man. He made her from the man. They are not independent. They are together created to reflect the image of God. God gave her to the man as his helper. God is saying, "The man needs one to help him in this task of exercising dominion over the earth, and the woman is the one that I have made to be able perfectly to help him fulfill that task. Bob: And in Genesis God immediately gives that a context of marriage, but you're saying that even a single woman has been created to be a helper to man? Nancy: Well, as we go into the New Testament, which helps us to understand more of the Old Testament record we get into 1 Corinthians, chapter 11, for example, that tells us that the woman was made for the man. So obviously that relates to the context of marriage. But I believe that God made us as women – me as a single woman – to have a role of being a helper, to be a cheerleader, an encourager, one who helps God's men fulfill their role in life. Bob: You know, you can almost hear a woman kind of flinching as you offer that definition, because she is saying, "That's it? I'm a cheerleader? I stand on the sidelines while men play the game, and I cheer them on, and I run the water in during the water break, and I pat them on the back, and then I got back to the sidelines and let them play? That doesn't sound like God to me." Dennis: Yes, and there would be those add their voices, Nancy, who would say isn't being a helper a demeaning term? Aren't you unnecessarily subjugating me to this sinful, selfish man and, after all, that was before man sinned. Nancy: The New Testament tells us that men and women, husband and wife, are heirs together of the grace of life, and that a man's greatest fulfillment and a woman's greatest fulfillment in life will come through complementing each other, not competing with each other, but being willing to complete each other. This is not a secondary role – the woman, as much as the man, was created in the image of God. The woman, as much as the man, is a recipient of the grace of God and, by the way, that means for both sinners in need of the grace of God. I look at the New Testament record in Matthew, chapter 1, of the genealogy of our Lord Jesus and included in that record are five women, which would have been unusual for a Jewish audience to include women in the genealogical listing – five women each of whom, from the Jewish standpoint, had a strike or a mark against her either because of an immoral background or a foreign background or even, in the case of Mary, the mother of Jesus, having a child without having a husband. In that passage, I believe God even shows us this pattern that women, like men, are heirs of the grace of life – participants, full participants together in the Gospel and the redemptive plan of God here on this earth. Dennis: Nancy, you're single, and thus you're not a mom, but if you were a mom, and you had three daughters like mine, all of them teenagers. How would you be purposeful and intentional about developing and rearing a daughter to develop her femininity in relationship to men? There's a good chance she may be single. Nancy: You see, whether single or married, I believe God created all of us, as women, to be bearers of life. Not only physiologically are we designed – men cannot have babies – women are physiologically designed to be able to have babies, but I think that is a picture of a deeper, inner truth that God made us, as women, to be bearers and nurturers of life. As a single woman, one of my roles and responsibilities in ministry is to give spiritual life, to nurture spiritual life, in the lives of other young women. And you have, Dennis, speaking of your daughters, in your wife, a woman who is a model to those daughters of what it means to be a supporter, an encourager, a cheerleader, and she's modeling for your daughters the blessing of establishing that as a priority – the building of a home. Bob: Boy, that is so key, Dennis, because what Nancy is saying is that before a mom can ever teacher her daughter what it means to be a woman, a mom has to understand and embrace it for herself, model it for her daughters, or the instruction is not going to make any sense. And we've seen just the opposite occur. We've seen women in the culture embracing the cultural definition of femininity and wanting to raise daughters who fulfill a more masculine design for life. Dennis: Yes, and as a result of taking on the water of the culture, their own boats are sinking, because they are confused, as women, as to what is a woman, and she can't pass it on to her daughters or to her sons. And, by the way, I think it's very important that our sons not only know what biblical masculinity is from mothers and fathers, but that they also know what it means to be a woman, as well, so that when they see a woman, they know what a true woman is. They don't define a woman around the exterior, which, over in 1 Peter, chapter 3, Peter warns a woman about merely placing an emphasis on the exterior. Our sons need to be discerning about what a true woman is and what a true woman is to become. Nancy: Of course, the whole purpose of Proverbs 31 is that it was written to a king to tell him what qualities he ought to look for in a woman; what were the womanly qualities, the qualities of a woman who fears the Lord – what would she look like and how should he choose a wife? Dennis: I think a key question for every mom and, for that matter, every woman, whether you're single or married or whether you even have children – but put yourself in this position – if your daughter came to you and asked you, "Mommy, what does it mean to be a woman and not a man?" And, Nancy, I'm going to put that question to you right now – what if you had a daughter, and she asked you that question? How would you answer her? Nancy: You know, Dennis, since I was a teenage girl, I have searched the Scriptures, the Word of God, and also as I've talked with literally thousands of women around the world, come to see if there are certain qualities, which, when you put them together, form a portrait of God's kind of woman. We've talked about some of those already – a woman as a helper, as an encourager, as a cheerleader, a woman distinctively in a role as a servant, a servant of God and of God's men. We've talked about a woman as a nurturer, a mother, a bearer of life. Scripture talks about a woman as a teacher, a teacher of her children, a teacher of younger women. And then we read in the New Testament that there are specific qualities that God considers precious and beautiful in a woman. You talked about how it's not just the outward beauty that a woman is to focus on, but 1 Peter 3 speaks of her having the internal beauty and radiance of a spirit that is gentle, it is meek, it is quiet, a spirit that trusts in God. Scripture talks about a woman as having a submissive spirit, being willing to come under the covering and the protection of God-ordained authority. Scripture talks about a woman who fears the Lord in Proverbs 31, is a woman who will be praised. So there's the dimension of her personal walk with God. There are a number of passages in Scripture that speak of women in the role of concerned praying women, and how a culture that has been taken over with secularism needs women who are weeping, burdened, praying women – how we need that in our day. Scripture talks about a woman as reverencing her husband, honoring him, lifting him up; a woman who loves her husband, loves her children. In addition, there are numerous passages in Scripture that speak of a woman being modest, chaste, pure in her speech, in her behavior, in her clothing. Proverbs speaks of the importance of a woman having the quality of discretion. I think so many of these come back to the fact that God made us, as women, to be responders and to allow the men to be the initiators that God created them to be. Bob: I want to ask you about that, but there are some women who just heard that portrait, that description, and they said to themselves, "Yuck, I don't like that. That's not who I feel like, I'm not sure that's who I want to be." Dennis: And they are also saying, "I question whether that's the way God made me. He didn't make me to be a responder." Nancy: Not too long ago, I had the privilege of talking with two different women on the same day who are both dear friends. The one woman is a young mother who came and expressed to me that she was experiencing some depression, some frustration in her life, there were some issues that were unresolved between herself and her husband. She was wrestling with the feeling that she did not feel motivated or successful in her role as a mother, so she was wanting to take on a career outside of her family, and she and her husband were wrestling through some of these issues. And she said to me – "What if my husband" – now, she has a godly husband – she said, "What if my husband wants me to be barefoot, pregnant, and in the kitchen for the rest of my life?" It wasn't long after that conversation that I had another conversation with another woman who is a dear friend. She's the wife of a pastor, and I saw, in this woman and older woman who has devoted her life to being a helper, a completer, a responder to her husband. Her children are now grown, she has taught her children to love their husbands, to love their own children, and I saw in this older woman, a woman who is deeply at peace, who is radiant, who is fulfilled, a woman whose husband is nuts about her, because Proverbs 31 says that a woman who fears the Lord will be praised. What woman could ask for more than that Proverbs 31 woman has, and that is children who call her blessed, a husband who praises her publicly – this is deep in our hearts, as women, what we desire and what we were made for. Dennis: And, you know, Nancy, as you were going through your list and talking about all this, I thought "How refreshing. What a clear, refreshing voice in a culture that, again, is trying to define what it means to be a woman without reference to what the Scriptures say." Every one of these in your list are all biblically based, and what a great portrait to hang in our living rooms for our daughters to attain to and to seek to become. I thought of, as you were talking about being modest, chaste, and pure, how boys are never challenged to be modest, chaste – now they are called to be moral. They are called to be in control of their own sexual passions, but this is a different set of words than you would use for a boy who is being called to become a man. And a young lady who is growing up, having had this portrait lived out in front of her by her mom and then having had that portrait painted from the Scriptures by both of her parents – think of the contentment, the possibilities of her life and what she can mean to a young man, to a family, to another generation of children. This is where Christianity becomes uniquely powerful. Bob: And, ultimately, to the woman who sees this portrait and goes, "I don't know that I like it; I'm not sure God made me this way." The issue is not what she feels like. The issue is whether she will come under the authority of the Word of God and be the kind of woman that God's Word says He has made women to be. Nancy: I think, equally, a man could look at the portrait of biblical manhood in the Scripture and think, "I don't think God made me for leadership. I don't think God made me for initiative." But joy and fulfillment in life come from saying, "Yes, Lord." Dennis: And, you know, there are women listening to this broadcast right now who are not married to godly men, they're not married to a pastor, and yet you can take this portrait that you've painted here, this is still true regardless of whether they are married to a man who is a godly man. This is still biblical femininity. This is what God says is the picture of what it means to be a woman, regardless of your circumstances. There is hope there, isn't there? Nancy: There is, and I don't think that the average woman has ever begun to fathom the extent of the influence that her life, when she surrenders to the Lordship of Christ and His design, the influence that her life will have on her husband and on other men around her. We, as women, have profound influence on the attitudes, the values, the lifestyles of the men around us whether or not we choose to embrace God's pattern for our lives. Dennis: And, Nancy, hanging in the gallery of my own heart is the picture of my mom who, although she didn't have – well, the resources that we've had today and the great teachers like you are, to be able to instruct her about what it meant to be a woman, she did get in the Scriptures, and she was a helper, a cheerleader, a nurturer, a bearer of life. She was modest and chaste and was a woman who feared the Lord and had a meek and quiet spirit, teachable, and was profoundly influential – just exactly what you are talking about. Bob: But, you know, if we had called your mom back before she went home to be with the Lord, and we had said to her, "Do you think you're an influential woman?" She would have laughed at that idea, and I think there are a lot of women who hear us talk about these ideas, and they look at their own lives, and they say, "I'm not influencing – okay, maybe I'm having some influence on my children, but I don't feel like a woman of influence. I don't feel like I'm making a big difference in anybody's life." And that's an issue, Nancy, that you've addressed in the book that you wrote called "Lies Women Believe," which has gone on to be a bestselling book. And you've also addressed it in the new book that you and Dana Gresh have written together called "Lies Young Women Believe," because, as you've noted many times, Dennis, there are a lot of young women who are growing up, not with an eye toward home, but with an eye toward the marketplace as the center of influence for our culture. We've got copies of the books that Nancy has written in our FamilyLife Resource Center, including the booklet called "A Biblical Portrait of Womanhood" that addresses many of the themes we're talking about this week. You can go to our website, which is FamilyLife.com and if you click the right side of the screen where it says "Today's Broadcast," you can get more information about the resources that Nancy has written and if you have not read "Lies Women Believe," let me encourage you to get a copy of that book and read through it. Again, the website is FamilyLife.com, and you need to click on the right side of the screen on the home page where it says "Today's Broadcast." And there is also information available there about the upcoming conference in Chicago, the True Woman '08 conference. It's October 8th through the 11th, and it's a national conference. Women from all over the country are going to be coming in to hear a great variety of speakers including Joni Eareckson Tada, Pastor John Piper, Nancy is going to be speaking, your wife, Barbara, is going to be speaking, Dennis, and Keith and Kristyn Getty are going to be there to help lead the worship. It's going to be a wonderful two-and-a-half-day event, and if our listeners are interested, they can find out more on our website at FamilyLife.com, and they can register by clicking through to the True Woman website. Or if it's easier for you to get more information or request these resources by calling us, the toll-free number is 1-800-FLTODAY, that's 1-800-358-6329, 1-800-F-as-in-family, L-as-in-life, and then the word TODAY. While women are wrestling with this subject of what it means to be a woman according to the Scriptures, men have been wrestling for some time with the same thing from our perspective – what does it mean to be a man, to be God's man? And our friend, Pastor Stu Weber, who is a former Army Ranger and a Green Beret has a wonderful message on this subject that we are making available to listeners this month. When you support the ministry of FamilyLife Today with a donation of any amount, it's a message called "Applied Masculinity," and you can request a copy when you make a donation either online or by calling 1-800-FLTODAY. Because FamilyLife Today is listener-supported, those donations are essential for us to continue on this station and on other stations across the country. If you are making your donation online, you will come to a keycode box on the donation form, and you will need to type the word "Stu" in there, s-t-u, so that we can send you a copy of this CD, or you can call 1-800-FLTODAY, make a donation over the phone and just mention that you'd like a copy of the Stu Weber CD. We're happy to send it out to you as our way of saying thank you for your financial support of the ministry of FamilyLife Today. Well, tomorrow Nancy Leigh DeMoss is going to be back with us. We're going to continue to look at what it means to be a woman according to the Scriptures. I hope you can be with us as well. I want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We'll see you next time for another edition of FamilyLife Today. FamilyLife Today is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas – help for today; hope for tomorrow. ____________________________________________________________We are so happy to provide these transcripts for you. However, there is a cost to transcribe, create, and produce them for our website. If you've benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider donating today to help defray the costs?Copyright © FamilyLife. All rights reserved. www.FamilyLife.com
I Survived My Suicide - Part 1I Survived My Suicide - Part 2I Survived My Suicide - Part 3FamilyLife Today® Radio TranscriptReferences to conferences, resources, or other special promotions may be obsolete. Life in Spite of MeDay 1 of 3 Guest: Kristen Jane Anderson From the Series: On the Edge of Hopelessness________________________________________________________________Bob: Kristen Jane Anderson was 17 years old and was ready for life…to be over. When she heard a ‘Freight Train' approaching at the park where she was sitting; she decided to lay her body across the tracks. Kristen: When the train stopped I wasn't sure if I was alive or dead. I remember just opening my eyes and unclenching my fists and starting to look around because I didn't know what to think. I didn't know what it was like to die! Obviously I just had no idea what to think. When I was looking around, I looked behind me; to my right…and I saw my legs about 10 feet behind me on my right. Bob: This is FamilyLife Today for Wednesday, September 8th. Our host is the President of FamilyLife and I am Bob Lepine. Kristen Jane Anderson joins with us today to share a remarkable story of survival and of faith. And welcome to FamilyLife Today! Thanks for joining us on the Wednesday edition. We are going to hear a remarkable story today. A story of where there is hope! Actually to start things off, I want to read a Bible verse. This is one of my favorite Bible verses. Dennis: I would feel better if you had a real Bible opened; I mean, instead of reading it off your iPhone. Bob: I love carrying this around. Dennis: You do! You really do! You get a grin on your face when you scroll down to the passage Bob: It is a little awkward when I am up front in my church reading from my iphone, but it is…. Dennis: You do it there too? Bob: Yeah! This is the way I read my Bible now. And I love it! Dennis: Okay! Bob: 1 Peter 2:9 says, “You are a chosen race a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for His own possession …. ‘(And this is the part that I love)' …….that you may proclaim the excellencies of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light.” I think the story we are going to hear about this week is one of those out of darkness into marvelous light stories. Dennis: I think you are right, Bob, and I think that our listeners; regardless if they are dealing with something troubling or challenging in their lives right now or rather if things are going well, they need to hear this story. It is the story of a young lady who joins us on FamilyLife Today, Kristen Jane Anderson, joins us today on FamilyLife Today. Kristen, welcome to the broadcast! Kristen: Thank you for having me on. Dennis: Kristen is a graduate of Moody, almost; right? Kristen: Right! Dennis: Almost a graduate of Moody Bible Institute! She is a popular speaker to college students and women's events all around the country. She has been featured on Oprah, which we had some fun talking about before we came on the air here. Bob: She was comparing you and Oprah …wasn't she? Dennis: She was! She was! She was…. And you actually asked her, “which was a bigger treat, to be on our broadcast …… or her (Oprah) TV program? Bob: And let's move on shall we? Dennis: She has written a book called, Life In Spite of Me. I am just going to cut right to the chase here. Kristen, I am going to ask you to take us to January 2. You were in a park and it was dark and it was icy cold there and it was the most dramatic day of your life. Kristen: Yes! I was at the park and I was there because I didn't feel like I could go home. I didn't want to go home. I didn't want to get in trouble and I thought I was going to disappoint my parents again. I was at the park just kind of trying to waste time and to figure out what I was going to do next and I was swinging on the swings and as I was there I started to think about why I was there. Why did I feel like I couldn't go home? Why did I feel the way that I did inside? I was struggling and then I remembered that in the park that I was in that you were supposed to be out of the park after the sun goes down. I knew that the police come and patrol the park and if you're in the park after dark they make you leave. The reason I was there is that I didn't want to go home, so I looked around to see where else I could go and I saw that there had been a set of train cars parked on the edge of the park. I knew that they had been there for about 3 weeks. I walked over to the train cars and I sat on one of them. Then I started to think about a thought process that I had had about 3 months beforehand. It was after one of my friends had taken his life. He had taken his life by hanging himself in the cemetery. Dennis: You were 17 years of age? Kristen: Right! I had no idea how to handle it and I didn't understand it. I remember thinking, “I don't know how he could ever do that. How could he ever take his life?” And then I thought, “I don't know how he could do it the way that he did it, especially that way.” But then my thought process changed and I started to think, “Well if I was ever going to do it, how would I do it?” I went through a lot of different things in my mind that I had heard about in school or on TV; different ways people try to end their lives and none of them seemed like they would work or be good enough, until I heard the train go by my parent's house. I heard the whistle blow and I felt the house just kind of shake. I could feel the power of the train and I thought, “That is one way that I would never live through it.” It just kind of snapped in my mind and I never thought about it again until sitting on the train that day. And that is when I started to consider suicide, by train, as the answer to my pain. Dennis: So, at that point what did you do? I mean, how long did you have in advance warning that the train was coming? Kristen: Oh! I saw it coming; I probably had a minute before it got to me. I didn't know how long it would be before the next train came and it was freezing out and I knew I couldn't stay outside much longer. So, right before it got to me, I made the impulsive decision to lay down on the tracks. It wasn't something I had decided before it started coming. I made the decision right before it got to me to lay down on the tracks. I got off the train that I was on. I walked down the rocks that those tracks were on. I walked up the tracks that the other train was on. And I laid down right before the train …got to me. Dennis: How did you lay across the track? Kristen: I lay between the tracks. My head and my body were between the tracks and my legs were hanging over. I closed my eyes. I clenched my fists and I turned my head in the opposite direction that the train was coming. I just tried to push down all the fear and the shame and I just laid there. I mean, it was only a fraction of a second … before it ran over me. Bob: So, you could see it coming and you just laid down on the tracks with it coming? Kristen: Yes. Dennis: So, I have got the picture in my mind at this point… Here is a 17 year old girl who is hopeless. Who has really lost hope about her life and you are going to end it in, as you said, an impulsive decision; to lie down on the tracks in front of a train. Was the ground shaking as it …? Kristen: Yes! I felt the ground shaking. I felt the tracks shaking. I felt the wind of the train and I heard it roaring over me. I felt it begin to suck me upward almost into itself which is really what should have happened, because 33 Freight Train cars went over me at 55 MPH. So, I should have been sucked up into the train and basically torn to pieces. I guess that's what happens normally when a train is going that fast with the way that I was positioned. I felt my body begin to rise upward and I then I felt it begin to be pushed down into the ground; like there was this tremendous weight or force or wind beginning to push me down. Dennis: You know…I have 4 daughters…., I know that as a teenager, young ladies can; as Bob said earlier, can believe those voices. And that there is really a battle going on for the souls and for the lives of young people today. I have never, ever talked ….to a young lady, however, who… acted on those and obviously, today is alive ….to be able to tell the story of what took place. There is more to this story that we want to share, but I want to take our listeners back to the home you grew up in. Just talk about the spiritual condition of that home, what you learned about God, what you believed about God, and your relationship with your parents. Bob: Yes! How you got to where you got. I mean, was there any spiritual background in your home growing up? Kristen: Yes! I grew up going to church. I remember going to youth group and things like that, but I didn't know the difference that God can make in my life. When things started to go wrong I had lost about 3 friends and my grandmother within a year ½ of time. I lost one friend in a motorcycle accident. I lost one in a car accident. I lost one to suicide and I lost my grandma just because of her age. Also, in that period of time I was being stalked by 2 young men and I was raped by another. Bob: Oh man! Kristen: So, I had no idea how to handle that. I had a really hard time believing it. I kind of tried to forget about most of it, I just didn't know how to handle any of it and I felt like everyone else was handling everything fine. My family, my friends, they just all seemed fine. I remember asking my mom one time, “How do you do it?” I remember her telling me, “You just do it;” because I didn't know how to handle it. Dennis: There was also something occurring in your family that you have not mentioned here that was adding to your despair; and that was what your dad was going through. I mean from the time you were a little girl, your daddy was under a dark cloud of depression. Can you comment on that? Kristen: I was in about 5th grade when I found out that my dad was diagnosed with depression. He was grateful when he found out because he knew something was wrong with him. He was diagnosed with Hypothyroidism and depression, but I did not know what that meant. I remember thinking, “Well you are not sad all the time, why are you depressed?” I remember thinking, “Even being sad a little bit, why he would be sad, because he had us – we had our family.” But I didn't understand the struggle that he was in. I remember in high school I would come home and he would be sleeping; I remember that he just wasn't there for me. I knew that he loved me and that he was present, but I didn't have much of a relationship with him. I had a very close relationship with my mom, though. Dennis: And you know I am listening, Kristen, to the emotions that are coming back that are a decade old. This was a traumatic time in your life and having to deal with trying to sort through… suicides, deaths, rape, and even your father's inability to connect with you. Bob: Did your family know about the rape? Kristen: No! They didn't! I didn't tell anyone. Bob: So, you are processing a lot of this just locked down inside yourself? Kristen: Right! That is one of the things my mom mostly talks about; she wishes she would have known. They were trying to get me help. They knew something was wrong, but they didn't really know what had happened or what was bothering me so much. They asked me, but I wanted to be tough; I didn't want to have problems, so I didn't talk about my problems. I tried to be the person that helped everybody else ….and I kept all my problems to myself. Dennis: You were how old at the time? Kristen: I was 16! It was the summer of my 16th birthday. Dennis: And your response to that; I am sure you have found out now after sharing your story on college campuses, is not out of the ordinary. There is a lot of this occurring, and there is a lot of secrets being kept in the closet. Kristen: Yes! There are! Dennis: Because of shame and fear and what might happen. Kristen: Right! Bob: But to stuff all of that inside a 16 year old soul and with all that you were going through, it is no surprise that it erupted. I mean, looking back on it now, and I mention the demonic influence and we can't discount that, but the life's circumstances and again, it all getting kind of compressed and pushed down. You can see where somebody gets to a point where they go, “why stay?' Kristen: Yes! It just ate away at me. I had held on to hope, but it was getting less and less and less. And, that one moment was the moment that I had lost hope. Dennis: You didn't have a faith in Christ at that point to process all the evil that was occurring to you and around you and to your friends. So, there was no ability to interpret and to make sense and to have understanding at that point. Kristen: Right! I wasn't even trying to do it myself because I couldn't make any sense of it. If I would have had a relationship with God, I know that I would have went to Him for understanding. I didn't even know that He offered understanding or comfort or wisdom or strength in difficult times. So, I just tried to stuff it down and to handle it all myself. Dennis: And to the parent, right now, who is listening and they are saying, “Man, I wonder if this is taking place in my daughter or possibly my son?” What would you say to a mom, a dad; who has maybe sensing something is up, something has happened, but can't break through. Kristen: I would tell them to talk to their son and daughter and actually specifically if they have had suicidal thoughts. Ask them on a scale of 1 – 10, how much hope they have. Ask very specific questions because when you ask kids how they are doing, they are usually going to tell you they are fine. Or they are going to tell you on a surface level, but if you ask the tough questions they will tell you how they are really doing. I think that it is really important that parents listen and they don't judge them and they don't react in an extreme way. They need to be very, very understanding. I know that most of the adults and youths that talk to me; talk to me because they know that I understand. I think kids need their parents to understand, they need their grace and they need them to pray with them and model a relationship with Christ for them. Help them know how they can go to God for strength and for comfort and for understanding in difficult times. Bob: Kristen, as you were laid out across those railroad tracks, your legs dangling out off the tracks, train is coming; did you remain conscious through the entire point of impact? You said it was 33 cars at 55 mile per hour; there must have been a couple of minutes that the train ….. Kristen: Yes! I was conscious the whole time. I remember it all completely! Bob: Were you thinking, “Well, I must be about to die soon?” Kristen: Yes! I was waiting to die. I thought it – “Any minute now…” Actually when the train stopped I wasn't sure if I were alive or dead. I remember just opening my eyes and unclenching my fists and starting to look around because I didn't know what to think. I didn't know what it was like to die! Obviously I just had no idea what to think. When I was looking around, I looked behind me; to my right and I saw my legs about 10 feet behind me on my right. I knew they were my legs because they have these brand new bright white tennis shoes on them that I had just gotten for Christmas. But, it just seemed like it wasn't real, this couldn't be happening, this had to be a horrible nightmare – and this couldn't be happening. I kind of tried to gather myself and I crawled out from underneath the train. I looked down at my legs to see if they were actually gone. In that moment this tremendous peace just came over me and I started hearing this song, “Amazing Grace,” playing over and over in my head and I just thought, “I must be dying! I must be going to heaven! That could only be music from heaven!” What I feel like God was doing is just meeting me in that moment and showing me, “Kristen, you don't need your mom, you just need Me! You don't need your mom, you just need ME! I am the only ONE who can help you in this circumstance!” So, I remember just resting in that peace though. I think I might have started to lose consciousness because the next thing I remember is feeling a Firefighter take my hair off of my face and pull it behind my ear. I had not heard him come up to me, but when he did that I opened my eyes and looked up at him and he kind of stumbled back because he…. wasn't expecting me to be alive. I remember just feeling anger and fear rise up in me because I didn't want anyone to see me like this. I didn't want anyone to help me or save me. I was embarrassed too! I just didn't know what to think or feel or do, but he radioed to all the other medical personnel of my location, my status, and they tried to call …Flight-For-Life. But they couldn't bring in Flight-For-Life… because the weather was too bad, so they did something that they had never done since; that wasn't protocol that they had never done before. They blocked all of the intersections and roads from where I was to the closest hospital that could take me. That was normally a 45 minute drive, but the police report says they got me there in 8 minutes. Dennis: “Hmmmm” Kristen: So, I think, I can only attribute that kind of speed to God! I definitely see Him in those details! When I got to the hospital, the doctors and nurses were kind of in shock because I had lost 8 pints of blood; and scientifically you are supposed to die after you lose 5. Not only was I alive, I was talking. I knew my mom and dad's phone number and my sister's phone number; things like that and they were writing them down so they could tell them what had happened to me. I remember looking up to the man in the white coat next to me who I assumed to be the doctor and asking him if he thought I would l live. I remember him telling me, “he didn't know.” He says that he said that because he knew that I needed to fight… I could die… but that to live I needed to fight …because I shouldn't have been alive and …..Nobody knew how much time I had left. Bob: Were you still thinking at that time, “Well, I guess I will die soon?” Kristen: I was hoping that I would die in surgery. Or something like that. Dennis: I am listening to your story here and I am seeing you smile; I am also seeing you cry. And it is because in the midst of this trauma you found …the God of the universe and you found… redemption and you found that personal relationship with Christ and instead of hearing a song about, “Amazing Grace,” you now sing it! Kristen: Exactly! Dennis: Yeah! And you have found the ONE who did bring hope! We want to share more of that story later with our listeners. I am just wondering, Bob, if there is a person now, who doesn't know Christ and where they are. I would just encourage them to give us a call and let us put some literature in your hands so that you can come into a personal relationship with Christ. There just may be somebody listening right now who may be on the precipice of what you were doing and I don't want them to have to go through the trauma that you went through to find Christ. Bob: The reality is that there are circumstances that come in life that lead us to despair. I think Dennis, about the book of “Psalms” and the times that David the psalmist found himself in those moments where he cried out with the kind of desperate anguish that you described, Kristen. The kind of hopelessness that he felt and that you felt. And yet, the message of the gospel is a message of hope in the midst of despair; that the circumstances of this life are not the defining reality that shapes our existence. I just want to encourage listeners if you are at a point of hopelessness and despair and you don't have settled in your own heart the reality that there is God who loves you, who is in control of life, and who knows what He is doing; and who walks with you through the valley and brings you out on the other side. If you don't know that God; if you don't have a personal relationship with God through Jesus Christ, I want to encourage you to call us at 1800-FLTODAY and ask for a copy of the book, Pursuing God. It is a book that we will send you, at no cost and that will introduce you to what it means to have a vital relationship with Jesus Christ. Again, call 1-800-FLTODAY and ask for a copy of the book, Pursuing God, and we will send it to you at no cost and we pray that God will use this book to bring hope and help in the midst of whatever circumstances you find yourself in. And then let me encourage you to go online at FamilyLifeToday.com; to find out more about Kristen's book, Life in Spite of Me. It is her story and it is an extraordinary story of hope after of what she intended as a fatal choice! Again, go to FamilyLifeToday.com; for more information about Kristen's book. There is also information about other resources that we have on depression and on suicide. You will find it on FamilyLifeToday.com; or if it is easier to call us toll-free, 1-800-FLTODAY. Do that, call 1800-358-6329. That's 1-800 F as in “family” L as in “life” and then the word TODAY. And we can make arrangements to have the resources you need sent to you. Now, let me just mention to you that we have heard from many of our listeners over the last week who have gotten in touch with us to get more information about our Valentine's week Love Like You Mean It cruise that we are going to be taking February 14-18, 2011. Dennis and Barbara, Crawford and Karen Loritts are going to be on the cruise with us; along with Kirk Cameron and Shaunti Feldhahn, Big Daddy Weave, Selah, Point of Grace. It is going to be a great week-long cruise for couples. Last week and again this week we have been letting FamilyLife Today listeners know that you can sign up for the cruise ; and we have got a limited number of cabins still available, but you can sign up basically for half-price. It is Buy-One-Get-One free. Your stateroom is half-price when you sign up this week. If you want to take advantage of this special offer for FamilyLife Today listeners, when you sign up you have to type, my name, “BOB”…in the promo-code box on the online registration form. Get more information when you go to FamilyLifeToday.com and click the link to the Love Like You Mean It cruise and then make plans to join us Valentine's week, February 14-18, 2011 for the FamilyLife – Love Like You Mean It cruise; again more information online at FamilyLifeToday.com. And, be sure to join us back tomorrow. Kristen Anderson is going to be here again, and we are going to hear about the hope that followed the despair in her life. I hope you can be here with us for that! I want to thank our engineer today Keith Lynch and our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of FamilyLife Today. FamilyLife Today is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow. ©Copyright 2010 __________________________________________________________________We are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to transcribe, create, and produce them for our website. If you've benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider donating today to help defray the costs? Copyright © FamilyLife. All rights reserved.www.FamilyLife.com
I Survived My Suicide - Part 1I Survived My Suicide - Part 2I Survived My Suicide - Part 3FamilyLife Today® Radio TranscriptReferences to conferences, resources, or other special promotions may be obsolete. Life in Spite of MeDay 2 of 3 Guest: Kristen Jane Anderson From the Series: A Flicker of Hope________________________________________________________________Bob: When she was 17 years old, Kristen Jane Anderson sought to end her life by lying across a railroad track as the train was approaching. Miraculously, she survived; although her legs were severed. She was soon to realize that God had a purpose for her life. Kristen: Three months after I lost my legs, I was out of the hospital. We went back to church that Sunday. A woman came up to me who had heard about what happened to me. She told me that I would have gone to hell if I died. It was very difficult at the time, but I am very grateful that she was that bold at the time because it helped me see my need for Him. It helped me think about where I would have gone eternally. “If I had died, where would I go?” I had never thought about it more than at that time in my life. Bob: This is FamilyLife Today for Thursday, September 9th. Our host is the President of FamilyLife Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. Kristen Jane Anderson joins us today to share a story of beauty from ashes and redemption from tragedy. Welcome to FamilyLife Today; thanks for joining us. I have read the statistics about teenage suicide, about teens who overdose on a handful of pills from the medicine cabinet or who do violence to themselves in some way to take their own lives. Dennis: Right. Bob: I don't know that I have ever heard a story like the one we are hearing this week. Dennis: Yes. We have a guest with us this week who is willing to tell a profound story, quite a drama. Kristen Jane Anderson joins us on FamilyLife Today. Welcome back. Kristen: Thank you. Dennis: Kristen, you have written a book called Life, In Spite of Me. As our listeners heard earlier, that really is an understatement. A lot of things had taken place in your life that had left you hopeless, right? Kristen: Yes. A lot of things happened. Dennis: Yes. Your father was struggling from depression as you grew up as a little girl and as a teenager. You had three friends, as a teenager, who lost their lives—one to suicide. You had a couple of guys stalking you—one who raped you. You were hopeless and no one knew it. Kristen: No. My family especially knew something was wrong with me because it wasn't in my character to not come home when I was supposed to. I had started drinking and smoking and things like that. That wasn't anything I had done before. I also stopped playing soccer. That was something that I loved to do, and so they knew something was wrong with me. They just didn't know how much was wrong inside and how I was feeling. Bob: You say they knew something was wrong. If you were to look back and say, “There had been something going back in my heart and soul for a month...three months...six months.” What? Kristen: I think that it was a lot going on that whole period of time, but I think the last six months before my attempt were the worst. I think I just kind of died inside. I didn't care about my life or anything anymore. I drove around hoping somebody would hit me. I wanted my life to end. I didn't want to take it, though. People would ask me how I was doing. I would say, “I'm here.' Kind of like, “Isn't that good enough?” I had just a much more negative and a little bit of a bitter attitude. That wasn't my normal demeanor, but at the same time I still had a smile on my face. So people really were confused. Bob: Here it is the second day of the New Millennium, January 2, 2000. It is a cold day. You left the house, sitting in a park, just thinking about life. The impulse—really—it was an impulse hits you. Dennis: Yes. I want to make a comment about that because I have read this before that a number of suicides that occur among young people are done, not in a sense of really thinking it through, but just deciding at the spur of the moment. Kristen: Right. For me, it was. I could never have made that as a rational decision. If I was going to do it, it would have had to be impulsive. I think that most people would think that way. I think most kids, especially. They know that suicide is wrong. They can never rationalize it enough to think it is okay or it is right. Bob: You didn't think about writing a note saying, “It's all over.” You didn't have time. Kristen: No. I didn't have time and I wasn't worried about other people. I was in a very selfish place. Bob: So you went and laid across the railroad tracks with a train coming. Did the conductor see you dive across the tracks? Kristen: Yes. The police report says that the conductor said to the engineer, “Did you see that yellow flash?” The engineer said to the conductor, “Yes. I think we just hit someone.” The yellow flash that they saw was this yellow jacket that I had on—my winter coat. Dennis: It was a new coat that you had just gotten for Christmas was it, or was that the jeans you had gotten? Kristen: Right. The coat was new; the shoes were new. All of it was new actually. Bob: So you dove across the tracks. The conductor, the engineer said, “I think we just hit somebody.” They put on the brakes, brought the train to a stop? Kristen: Yes. Then they called 911. Bob: And came back finding you lying on the tracks, legs severed—one below the knee and the other... Kristen: They didn't come to find me, but the paramedics found me. Bob: Okay. Kristen: Yes, but with my legs severed. Bob: You have already shared with us this week that you were in record-time taken to the nearest hospital in your area—wheeled into surgery. Dennis: Still wanting to die. Kristen: Yes. Bob: And still thinking that was probably where you were headed. What is the next thing that you remember? Kristen: The next thing I remember was waking up in Intensive Care. I was in surgery all night long. The next thing I remember was waking up—opening my eyes, trying to figure out where I was. I saw my mother, my dad, my brother, my sister, and my brother-in-law all in the room, their arms crossed and their faces looking down at the floor. I couldn't understand where I was or why everyone looked so unhappy. Then my mom ran to the side of my bed. She said, “Honey, we are so glad you are okay.” I remembered what had happened the night before. I said, “Mom, they cut my clothes and they cut my coat.” She said, “Oh, honey. It's okay. We are just glad you are here. We can get you new ones. Don't worry about that.” She couldn't believe that I said that. I also wasn't thinking about the fact that I had lost my legs. In that moment I hadn't really understood the reality of it yet. Dennis: Were you angry at that point that you were alive? Kristen: It was interesting because at this point everyone was so happy to see me, and they were so happy I was alive. I had mixed emotions. I was beginning to be a little bit grateful that I lived, but I was still hoping that I would maybe slip away. Bob: Even in that moment, your desire to die—the thing that had propelled you onto the tracks—the thing that was still with you when the paramedics found you—now you are recovered; your family is there. They are saying, “We are just so glad you are here;” and you are still thinking, “I just want to go. I just want to be done with this.” Kristen: One of the things they have told me since then is that they were worried. If I didn't want to live my life with my legs, how was I going to want to live my life without my legs? That is kind of the place I was in. I didn't want to live my life with all my other problems and now I didn't have my legs! How was I going to do that? I didn't think I could do that. Bob: So the despair that had kind of come upon you impulsively was now gripping you in terms of just wanting it all to be over and life to end. There was still no sense of any kind of hope for the future for you. Kristen: It was small. It was very small. I didn't know what the future held, and because I was on a lot of medication—my emotions were very numb, which was good and bad at the time. It caused me not to think a lot—not to feel a lot; but I had hope, more than anything, in people. My hope was because people told me, “There is a reason you are here. God kept you here for a reason. There is something you are supposed to do here.” That was really encouraging to me. I didn't know why He kept me here or what I was supposed to do here; but I kind of held on to that because I realized that because of how much blood I lost and because of how many cars had run over me as fast as they did—all the scientific details—I knew I should have died; but I was alive. That did speak some volume to me about God and His faithfulness and His goodness and His love for me. I had a small hope that was growing. Dennis: There is one more emotion that you undoubtedly had to experience because you mentioned earlier that what kind of propelled you onto the tracks was you were really thinking about yourself. You didn't write a letter to your family members say, “Goodbye.” Kristen: No. I thought about them on the tracks. I thought, “They will get over me,” or things like that. I was worried how they would feel, but I was more consumed with my own pain. Dennis: When you finally kind of came to, and the drugs began to wear off, undoubtedly you began to experience some shame. Kristen: Yes. Dennis: And some embarrassment at what you tried to accomplish but didn't. I mean, you were alive! Kristen: Right.Dennis: And even though God was at work in your soul, how did you handle that? Kristen: It was a really hard for thing for me. I actually didn't remember laying on the tracks for a long time. People told me that the police report said it was an attempted suicide and everyone assumed it was, but I didn't remember doing it. I had a really hard time accepting that for a long time, but I began having flashbacks. Eventually I had a full flashback where I remembered laying on the tracks. That was devastating for me because I did not want to believe that I would do something like that; but it brought me closer to God because I started crying out for Him. I knew—I just felt so broken—I was so full of shame—I was so embarrassed. I was so overwhelmed, but I had started to work through some of the stuff that had happened before my attempted suicide in counseling so now I started to work through my actual attempted suicide. Bob: You said that you grew up in a home that was a church-going home and that you had been in church but you had not really heard about a personal relationship with Christ. In these times of despair and dealing with the circumstances you lived with, what were the influences that were drawing you in the direction of God? Kristen: Three months after I lost my legs, I was out of the hospital on a weekend visit before my next surgery. We went back to church that Sunday. A woman came up to me, who I didn't know, who had heard what had happened to me; and she told me I would have gone to hell if I had died. I had never thought about that before. Dennis: Wait. Wait a second. You are talking about somebody at church came up to you and said you would go to hell? Kristen: Right. Dennis: How did that hit you? Kristen: It was very hard for me because I had never thought about whether or not I would have gone to hell if I had died. I thought about it a little bit, but not really, because everyone around me told me, “Kristen, you would have gone to heaven. Don't worry about it.” They assured me of that, but I began to worry when she told me that there was a chance I could have gone to hell. I didn't just want to accept the “feel good” answer or think naively about it. I wanted to know if I would have died, where I would have been. If I would have been in hell right then, I wanted to know it. So, that is when I really started asking God where I would have gone. Very shortly after that, a couple, who were friends with my sister, came over to have dinner with my parents and me just to encourage us after everything that had happened. I found out that the man was studying in seminary to be a pastor. I took that as my opportunity to ask someone if he thought I would have gone to hell if I had died. He told me that every single one of us are created to be in a personal and intimate relationship with God, but because of our sin, because of the wrong things we have done, we are separated from Him eternally. But that is why Jesus died for us—to pay the penalty for our sins—to reunite us with God. Growing up in church, I had heard—I believed in God. I believed Jesus was the Son of God and I knew that He died for my sins, but I never knew that there was a choice I needed to make or that I was created to be in a personal, intimate relationship with Him. When this man told me this, I knew what he was telling me was truer than anything I had ever heard in my life, but I didn't want to just take his word for it. I asked him to show me in the Bible. He showed me a lot of different passages, but the verse that stood out to me the most was John 14:6. That is where Jesus says, “I am the Way and the Truth and the Life. No one comes to the Father but by Me.” I just knew that was exactly what I needed to know. I knew that the Father was in heaven—I knew that is where I wanted to go, but I knew that I had never made a personal decision to accept Jesus into my heart or my life or become a Christian. I didn't have a relationship with Him; so that night, sitting on the floor of my parents' dining room, I accepted Him into my heart and into my life. From that moment forward, I know that God was with me and the Holy Spirit was inside of me, working in many ways. He brought all these different people into my life. I ended up having a Christian counselor when I wasn't even seeking a Christian counselor. She spoke a lot of truth into my life. I went to a community college at the time. I met this woman who just shined with more love and light and joy than anyone I had ever met in my life. I remember going back from meeting her one day and saying, “God, I want to know You the way that lady knows You.” What I felt Him telling me was, “Kristen, you have to let me be your best friend. You have to start going to Me for everything.” I was still going to my friends and my doctors and my parents before Him; but He was the One who created me. He was the One who knew me. He was the One who made me. He knew my problems more than I did or anyone else did, and He knew the answers more than anyone else did. So I started going to Him before everyone else. I started centering my life around Him, putting Him first. I got involved in a really good Christian church where I started to grow spiritually. The closer I got with Him, the more I began to experience the joy and peace and contentment—just a love for life—like I never had before. Bob: What is the timeframe from what we are talking about—it was January when you attempted suicide. Kristen: Then it was March when I became a Christian—March of 2000. I still struggled with suicidal thoughts and depression for about three years. It was March 2003 when I started going to that church. So my relationship with Him was very immature, but I was growing in that time. I think one of the biggest reasons I struggled in those three years with depression after my attempt is because I didn't know how important it was to be part of a Bible-believing, Gospel-preaching church—be a part of the body of Christ. I didn't know how much having Christian friends would help me. I also didn't know how real Satan was and that it was his desire to destroy me and mess with my life. I didn't realize how important it was for me to read the Bible every single day. I wasn't practicing a lot of things that I know would have been helpful for me in growing in my relationship with God. Dennis: I find it interesting that God would use a woman who came up to you and who told you that you were going to hell. Looking back on that, as offensive as that sounds here in this studio today, what are your thoughts about what that woman did and how God used that in your life? Kristen: It was very difficult at the time, but I am very grateful that she was that bold at the time because it helped me see my need for Him. It helped me think about where I would have gone eternally. If I died, I never thought about it more than at that time in my life. Dennis: Was she loving as she said it, or was she condemning as she said it? Kristen: She was just very frank. Bob: You think of saying that to somebody who is three months' out of the hospital in a wheelchair, no legs; and just walking up and saying, “You know, it is a good thing you lived; because if had died, you would have gone to hell.” It is bold. Some people would say it is insensitive to say that; but you are sitting here going, “No. It was sensitive to the real needs in my life.” Kristen: I needed to hear it. She could have said those words in a nicer way, but it was what I needed to hear—regardless. Bob: Kristen, the three years from when you trusted Christ in your parents' living room. I have to ask you about that. Were your parents sitting there as this seminary student is unveiling the gospel for you? Kristen: Yes. Bob: What are they thinking? Kristen: I have no idea what they were thinking. I think they were all just focused on me. They weren't thinking for themselves; they were just thinking... Bob: ...maybe this will help Kristen. Kristen: Right. Exactly. Bob: In their presence, did you pray that night? Kristen: It was after the couple left and after my parents were doing their own thing. They didn't know that I was accepting Christ as I sat on the floor that night. Bob: Did you say the next day, “Mom, Dad, I prayed last night to become a Christian”? Kristen: I didn't tell them, but I told my best friend. Dennis: But you did tell somebody. Kristen: Yes. Bob: The next three years you continued to battle, primarily because you didn't get plugged in. Is that right? Kristen: Yes; definitely. I actually tried going to a number of churches, but they weren't wheel-chair accessible. I never felt like I fit in there for one reason or another, but I visited this church that I ended up going to once before I ended up going back. I knew that God wanted me to go there. It was a whole year in between when I went back. I knew that is where He wanted me to be finally. Dennis: Kristen, in listening to your story—the older I get, the more aware I am of how many people are hurting. You have already said how many people have read your book and written you and have given it to other people because there are a lot of hopeless people—a lot of people who need to have hope born in their hearts, like He was born in your heart. I think what I would like you to do is just to speak directly to that person who is listening who is pretty hopeless, who needs Christ. Maybe he or she has been going to church; maybe they haven't. Maybe they stumbled onto this broadcast, but they need to find the One who can redeem them from hell and from their sins and have hope born in their lives. Kristen: If you are struggling with pain in your life, or with suicidal thoughts, or with depression, I want you to know that there is a reason you are here. God created you for a purpose. No matter what you are going through, it is temporary. You are not alone. He has tremendous plans for you. There is hope in Christ that surpasses anything in this world. He has so much hope for us. He has so many plans for us—every single one of us. Nobody is an accident, including you. There is a reason you are here. I just want to encourage you to, “Hold on. Seek God with all of your heart.” I know you will find Him. He will bring you out of the depths of despair like He has me. Dennis: I just want to re-read that passage that was shared with you by that young man who was going through seminary, John14:6: “Jesus said to him, ‘I am the Way, and the Truth, and the Life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.'” Jesus Christ is the person at the center of Christianity. He is the One who makes it possible for us to have a relationship with God. He will meet you at your point of despair. There is nothing you are facing, nothing you are going through, that is bigger than the God Who loves you. My encouragement to that listener is to cry out to God in prayer—a simple prayer. “Lord, be merciful to me, a sinner. I want to know Jesus Christ as my Lord, Master, and Savior.” If you do that, I have it on the authority of this book, the Bible, that He will meet you there; and He will save you from your disappointments, your sin—how you have offended God—and bring you into a right relationship with God. Bob: There are probably some things you need to do—some next steps you need to take, as Kristen has talked about here today, so that you don't find yourself spiritually stagnant. Many of those steps are outlined in a book we would like to send you at no cost—a book called Pursuing God. This is a book we send out to those who are considering what it means to have a relationship with Jesus Christ. Whether you have been in church throughout your life or not, if the spiritual lights are just starting to come on in your life, call us at 1-800-FLTODAY and let us send you a copy of the book Pursuing God by Jim Elliff. It is our gift to you; and it is our hope that God will use this book in a powerful way to bring you into a relationship with Jesus and to help you walk in that relationship as His child, as you put your trust in Him. You can request a copy of the book by calling 1-800-FLTODAY; that is 1-800-358-6329. Let me also encourage you to go to our website FamilyLifeToday.com. You can get information there about Kristen Anderson's book Life in Spite of Me—extraordinary hope after a fatal choice. There are also other books we have listed on the website that talk about the issue of depression and suicide. Again, go to FamilyLifeToday.com for more information about the resources we have available. You can order online if you would like; or again, you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY to request the resources you have heard us talk about today. Let me also mention that today and tomorrow are the last two days you have an opportunity to sign up and join us on the FamilyLife Love Like You Mean It cruise which we are going to be taking in February of 2011, actually Valentine's week, February 14-18. Dennis and Barbara Rainey are going to be on the cruise, along with Crawford and Karen Loritts, Kirk Cameron is going to be there, Shaunti Feldhahn is going to be there. We are going to have music from Selah and Point of Grace and Big Daddy Weave. It is going to be a great week for couples. The FamilyLife Love Like You Mean It cruise. The ship is almost full. We have a limited number of cabins still available. If you sign up by tomorrow, you can save 50 percent on your stateroom. It is a buy one; get one free arrangement for the cruise. All you have to do to take advantage of the special for FamilyLife Today listeners is type my name—type “BOB”—in the promo code box on the online registration form. We hope you will get more information by going on FamilyLifeToday.com. Click on the Love Like You Mean It cruise link, and we hope you will sign up and join us. We look forward to seeing you as we set sail next February on Valentine's Day. Let me also encourage you to be back here tomorrow. Kristen Anderson is going to join us again, and we are going to talk more about her life following her attempted suicide and about the hope that she has found. I hope you can tune in for that. I want to thank our engineer today Keith Lynch and our entire broadcast production team on behalf of our host Dennis Rainey; I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of FamilyLife Today. FamilyLife Today is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock Arkansas Help for today. Hope for tomorrow. © 2010 FamilyLife __________________________________________________________________We are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to transcribe, create, and produce them for our website. If you've benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider donating today to help defray the costs? Copyright © FamilyLife. All rights reserved.www.FamilyLife.com
I Survived My Suicide - Part 1I Survived My Suicide - Part 2I Survived My Suicide - Part 3FamilyLife Today® Radio TranscriptReferences to conferences, resources, or other special promotions may be obsolete. Life in Spite of MeDay 3 of 3 Guest: Kristen Jane Anderson From the Series: And Then God...________________________________________________________________Bob: At age 17, Kristen Jane Anderson survived a suicide attempt. Today, more than ten years later, she has a powerful message for those who find themselves in despair. Kristen: If you're struggling with pain in your life or with suicidal thoughts or with depression, I want you to know that there's a reason you are here, that God created you for a purpose. No matter what you're going through, it's temporary. You're not alone. He has tremendous plans for us, every single one of us. Nobody is an accident including you. There is a reason you're here. So, I just want to encourage you to hold on, to seek God with all of your heart, and I know that you will find Him. He will bring you out of the depths of despair like he has me. Bob: This is FamilyLife Today for Friday, September 10th. Our host is the President of FamilyLife, Dennis Rainey and I'm Bob Lepine. Kristen Anderson joins us today to give a reason for the hope that is within her. And welcome to FamilyLife Today, thanks for joining us. We've been hearing a remarkable story of God's redeeming work in the heart and the life of a young woman this week. A young woman who attempted suicide by laying across railroad tracks, and miraculously, God spared her life. But, I'm just thinking, here we are at a point in the unfolding of this story where all of a sudden, life has meaning and purpose, joy and hope. There's just this one bummer, and that is, “I don't have legs anymore.” I don't mean to sound crass or trivial about it but… Dennis: It's the result of what took place. Bob: Here is hope re-dawning but, I'm in a wheelchair with no legs. Life is going to be very different from here on out because of a decision I made—an impulsive decision—trying to end my own life. Dennis: Well, that young lady joins us again on FamilyLife Today; she's the author of the book, Life in Spite Of Me. Kristen Jane Anderson joins us again on FamilyLife Today, Kristen welcome back. I just have to tell you, I really appreciate your willingness to go back and revisit some very painful moments both emotionally and physically as you shared about that attempt at suicide. Kristen: Thank you; I really appreciate you having me on. Dennis: I wanted to ask you, just as you have processed the loss of your legs like Bob is talking about here, people who lose a limb experience what's called “phantom pain”? Kristen: Yes. Dennis: Or they have the feeling, the phantom is as though their legs are still there? Kristen: Right. Dennis: Do you experience that? Kristen: Yes. I always feel like my legs are still there. It's really interesting. It's not like they feel normal or anything. But it feels like they're still there. It's very interesting. Bob: Are there times you'll wake up in the middle of the night and without stopping to think about it, think “I'll just swing my legs out and get up out of bed”? Kristen: Not as often as I used to. In the beginning I used to always be really surprised by my wheelchair next to my bed. But now I'm pretty used to it. Every once in a while I'll think, “I want to go for a run.” Or something like that, that I can't do any more. Bob: The thing that I keep thinking about here is, at a point when your life experienced a radical transformation, you trusted Christ, you began to understand what it means to follow Him and to give your life to Him, and you're a new creation in Christ. The thing is, the old you had legs, the new you doesn't. Kristen: Right. Bob: How do you process that? Kristen: The thing that helped me the most was learning that I was whole in Christ, whether or not I had legs isn't what made me whole. He was more than enough for all of me, I didn't need anything more. The more that I trusted Him, and I put my faith in Him, the more I just felt whole. I realized I was going to fine without my legs. I was going to be fine as long as I had Him. I didn't need them as much as I needed Him. Dennis: You said before we came into the studio, that you've been working with—is it a physician who creates prosthetics? Kristen: Yes, he's called a prosthetist. Dennis: You've been working with him for four years? Kristen: Longer actually.Dennis: Actually longer than that? Yet, it's interesting to see your demeanor. You have some opinions about why they have not been able to fit you with legs at this point. Kristen: Yes. I'm a difficult case to fit. But I think that everything happens for a reason, and I think there's a reason I'm not walking now. As I've tried to think through that, pray through that and see what the reasons might be, I feel like, it's just not God's time yet. I think that He has used my story and me in a way that he had planned to use it with me in my wheelchair. It has also taught me a tremendous amount of patience, and it has made me a lot more humble for me to be in my wheelchair. Dennis: I'm listening to you say that, and I'm flashing back to the story of January 2nd, 2000, when you were draped across the railroad tracks and described something supernaturally, almost pushing you down as the train ran over you. Even though your legs were severed, you lost them. The condition of the young lady who had laid down on that track was without hope. Kristen: Right. Dennis: … had no purpose. Kristen: Right Dennis: The woman today who has no legs has a mission. She's on a mission. You're smiling. There are a lot of people who would say “I don't get that. How can you smile about that? Do you really believe that God has a purpose? Even in a self-described act of selfishness in trying to take your own life?” Kristen: Only God can give me this kind of joy. Only knowing Him and having a relationship with Him. Nothing compares to knowing Him. I am on a mission now. You're right. Because I want people to know that no matter what pain they're going through, no matter what they're feeling, no matter what they have in their past, or they're doing now, God can help them. He can heal that pain, he can bring them out of their situations and their disappointments and he can make them whole again. He can give them a purpose. He has a purpose for them. When He made them, when He created them he had a plan for their lives. Bob: But, here's my question for you. The joy that you're talking about, the hope the purpose, do you have that because you know you're supposed to, because you're a Christian—do you know what I'm saying? It's like… Dennis: And she goes to Moody Bible Institute… Bob: I mean, I go to church and they've been telling me, “You find your joy and your hope in Christ so I guess I need to, and I'm on a mission so I need to tell people that I have hope and joy…” Dennis: I wish people could see her face right now. Bob: “…because that's my job now.” Kristen: No, that's not me at all. I will tell you what I think no matter what. That's just actually how I feel. I tried to find joy in every other area of my life, and nothing else brought me joy. Seeing myself through His eyes, and seeing the world through His eyes and accepting Him into my life, and having Him at the center of things just make everything work a lot differently; it changes everything for me. So, I'm excited because I know Him. I'm happy because I know that I'm exactly where I need to be. I have joy because He has forgiven me, because He gave me a second chance over and over and over again. Bob: So you've got more joy with no legs than you ever had when you had your legs. Kristen: Undoubtedly. I wouldn't trade what's happened to me, what I've learned to have them back. Dennis: As you talk to young people around the country, are you seeing a need for them to find the same spiritual legs that you have found. Kristen: Yes. Every time I share my story with young people or older people. They all come up to me—almost every single one of them—and tell me that they struggled with suicidal thoughts and depression at one time, they are now struggling or they know somebody who has. So, they want to know how to help them or they want to know how they can be helped. Suicide and depression is an epidemic in our culture. Eight out of ten people think about suicide and one out of ten try. It's the third cause of death of those between the ages of 15 and 24. I just want to make any difference that I can in the lives of those people, and those statistics. I know that they don't have to choose suicide as the answer, it's not an answer. It's not a choice to even consider. I want people to realize that there is another way, there is a much better way, it is the only way and that is through Jesus Christ. Bob: One of the ways in which you've seen God demonstrate what He's doing in your life happened when you were baptized right? Kristen: Yes. When I was baptized, I shared my story for the first time, and it really helped me realize His faithfulness through all of it. He did all of these little things to bring me into a relationship with Him. Dennis: I want to just stop you for a second. I want to put a timeline on this. Your accident happened January 2, 2000. You began a relationship with Christ in March, right? How long before you were baptized? Kristen: It was three years later.Dennis: So you'd had some time to truly think about this decision you'd made, before you told your story publicly. Kristen: Right. I didn't even know that people were encouraged to get baptized after they accepted Christ until I started going to a church where I learned that. So, everything—you couldn't have really seen the fruit in my life until I really started growing spiritually once I got to that church. But when I shared my story, at my baptism that day, I cried like crazy. At the end of it, they gave an invitation for people who had not accepted Christ yet, who wanted a relationship with Him, who wanted a new life with Him, and wanted to know they would go to Heaven. My mom raised her hand that day at my baptism. That was just the beginning of God bringing every single one of us in my family to Him. It was an incredible time. Bob: Did you know that? Did you see her out in the congregation raising her hand? Kristen: I saw her. I was actually two people down from her at that time. It was at the end of the service. Bob: What did you think? Kristen: I just remember thinking, “Thank you God, thank you God” just giving Him praise. I saw Him doing amazing things in my family. I knew that the closer we all were with Him, the better our family life would be, and the more healthy we would be. I just knew the difference it would make in our hearts and in our lives. I wanted her to forgive herself. Dennis: Oh, yes. Kristen: She blamed herself for what I did and I knew it wasn't her fault. I knew it wasn't my dad's fault. It wasn't anyone's fault but my own. I took full responsibility for it and I knew that if she could feel Christ's forgiveness, she could begin to forgive herself. Bob: Was she the first person in your family to come to faith? Kristen: Yes. Bob: Who was next? Kristen: Then it was my dad, then it was my brother. Dennis: Before you go on to that. Your dad had a special nickname for you. Kristen: Yeah—How do you know this? Bob: We do our research on stuff like this. Dennis: What was that nickname?Kristen: He called me “Speedy Two-Shoes.” Dennis: Why did he say that? Kristen: Because I would run around the house and up and down the stairs and everything, like crazy. Dennis: But he came to faith in Christ, too? Kristen: Yes. Dennis: Was that dramatic for him to place his faith in Christ? Kristen: It has been incredible. He is one of the largest encouragements in my life now. He loves Christian radio, he listens to radio all the time, he reads his Bible all the time, he's always speaking… Bob: Can we say hi to him right now? We just want to say hi to your dad if he's listening to the radio. Kristen: He's just an incredible blessing. I cannot believe—he always says that he praises God for what He's done in my life. He's just so grateful for the way He turned my life around, for the way Jesus turned my life around and for the ways he is using me now. Bob: What was the turning point for him? Kristen: In Christian radio actually. He listened to Moody radio a lot and that was the biggest thing for him. He started reading his Bible. When I started going to church, I brought my mom with me, and she brought my dad with her. That's when it all happened. Then, he brought my brother to a men's conference and that's when my brother became a Christian. Bob: Wow. Dennis: I'm just thinking, Bob. You think back to the trauma of what Kristen has been through, the lack of hope that you had as a young person. If somehow we could have come to you and told you what was going to occur, would you have believed it as a 15, 16, 17 year old young lady? Would you have believed your family would be transformed by Jesus Christ? Kristen: No. I wouldn't have believed it. Dennis: How are they more of a family today than they were back then? Kristen: We're more of a family because we talk about things now. We talk about real life. We talk about what's hurting us, what helps us, what God is doing in our hearts and in our lives. We pray together and we support each other and we encourage each other. We did some of that before, but it was a lot more surface level, there were a lot more walls. Now we are just completely real with each other, and we have Jesus at the center. He just makes it all work in a completely different way. Dennis: And it works perfectly. There is never any conflict or any disappointment or… Kristen: No. It doesn't work—nothing is perfect. But, it is completely different. It is a lot easier now. We know from scripture a much better way to handle problems and we know that God is with us. We know He's going to carry us through whatever we face. We know that he commands us to forgive one another, so we do that. We mean it, and we love each other more. Bob: You shared your story publically for the first time at your baptism. But then people started saying, would you come share your story with this group or with that group. Did that take you by surprise? Were you a little uncomfortable with that at first? Kristen: It was very surprising for me. I wasn't expecting that at all. But, because they heard me share my story at my baptism, they knew my story and they knew that it might help some young people. That's why I decided to share it for the first time after my baptism. It was at a high school youth group in my church. I really just did it because I wanted them to learn from my mistakes, and didn't want them to have to have anything like that happen to them before they had a real growing relationship with Christ. I just wanted to help them in any way that I could help them grow. So, I shared my story and after I shared my story, almost all of them came up to me and told me that they were struggling. They were reaching out for help because they didn't know how they could face another day or another year. They were all in different situations. I wanted to help them all, but I couldn't do that. But, I began helping as many kids as I could. I began speaking at other churches and youth events where I was invited to speak. Bob: You began helping them how? What were you doing? Kristen: I was just talking with them, I was just being there for them. I was just loving them. They just needed somebody who understood and who could give them, godly advice. So I tried to do that as best as I could as I was growing spiritually. Bob: We don't realize how huge that is in the life of a teenager, for somebody to come along and say, “I'll listen, I'll talk. Just share whatever you want to share.” Dennis: Yes, but what really gave you the credibility, is that you were willing to be authentic. I mean, you are a living testimony, a living illustration… Kristen: I didn't pretend like my life was perfect, or like it ever was. I told them exactly what it was, and what it is now. Dennis: If I was a parent, listening to you right now, I think I might be a little afraid. No, seriously, for young people today growing up in this culture, why do you think young people today seem to be more susceptible to what you're calling “hopelessness and suicide, and despair”? Kristen: I think they're more impressionable. I think they think more about what other people think about them. They are not content with who they are. They have all the pressures of media to look this way, or get this car or whatever it is. They don't think they are ever good enough. They don't think they'll ever amount to anything. They think that they aren't beautiful, they think that they're not special, they don't know that God made them, created them for a purpose or for a reason. I think that, I would be scared as a parent for those reasons too. I think that the best thing that parents can do, though is to be authentic with their kids just like they want their youth leaders to. They need to be the first encouragement in their lives after Christ. Not the youth pastor, not the youth leaders, they need to be involved, they need to ask the questions, they need to have the real vulnerable talks, and they need to be open to whatever they are saying, whatever they're going through, and whatever their friends are going through. They need to keep the lines of communication open, I guess, because that was one of the problems for me. I didn't feel like my mom would understand. I thought she would think badly of me, or of my friends. Bob: You started, not only speaking at youth group or some places around town, but now you are getting invitations to travel and speak. And you spoke at the chapel at Moody Bible Institute. You spoke in Christian colleges, I mean it started to just snowball for you. Kristen: Yes, I was getting more requests to share my story specifically, than I could even go. I couldn't go all the places I was being invited. Bob: Then at one point, you got a call to come share your story in an unusual setting. Kristen: Yes, I got a call to share my story on Oprah, and that was in 2006. Dennis: There was only one condition that you gave the producers of Oprah, it was the condition that you would appear on the program. Kristen: I told them that I would be on the show if they would let me share Jesus and my faith, because, that was the biggest part of my story. That was my story, I couldn't change it. Dennis: You didn't have anything to say if you couldn't talk about Him. Kristen: Exactly. Dennis: I want to go to a bigger issue of your future. I have a feeling there is a listener or two wondering, “I wonder what her dreams are for her life.” Tell us what you'd like to do, and be long haul. You want to be a wife? A mom? Huh? Kristen: I think that God created me to be a wife and a mother more than anything else. But I also think that He made me to help bring other people into a closer relationship with Him. So, that is my main focus, my main drive right now before I get married and have children. Dennis: But if you meet the right guy, you are beaming right now. If you meet the right guy, you're going to go to a Weekend to Remember® marriage getaway. You're going to go through the pre-married section. Kristen: Yes. Dennis: You already had some coaching on this. And she's grinning. We'll stop right there, Bob. Bob: I think that's wise of you to do. Dennis: I think it is. Bob: Yes. Dennis: Well, I just want you to know, I really admire you and your courage. I think it could have been very easy for a young lady in a hospital bed, waking on January 3, 2000, to have just, given up, and maybe gone ahead and died. But somehow God pursued you and gave you a flicker of hope. You didn't give into hopelessness but took something that was really a wrong choice, a bad choice at the time, and you turned to Him. I'm just thrilled to hear your story of redemption, Kristen, and, to hear of God's work in your life. I hope you'll not only share Jesus Christ with the hundreds of thousands of folks who'll be listening to FamilyLife Today, but also millions through your book, and other speaking engagements that God gives you. Thanks for being on our broadcast. Kristen: Thank you so much. It was a pleasure to meet both of you. Bob: I have to tell you, I think there are a lot of people who have heard you share your story this week who are thinking, “Boy, I'd love to read her story. But more than that, I know someone who could really benefit from reading Kristen's story.” The book you've written is called Life in Spite of Me, we've got it in our FamilyLife Today Resource Center. Let me encourage you to go online at FamilyLifeToday.com for more information on how to order a copy of Kristen's book. We also have other resources on depression and on suicide. You can find those when you go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com or if you need help, if you're looking for something specific, call 1-800-FL-TODAY and talk to someone on our team about what resources we might have available, either online or something we can send out to you. Again, the toll free number 1-800-358-6329. That's 1-800 F as in “family” L as in “life” and then the word TODAY. Or go online at FamilyLifeToday.com. Now, I need to remind listeners, today is the last day that you can sign up for our FamilyLife Love Like You Mean It Cruise, that is going to be sailing from south Florida on Valentine's Day, February 14th, 2011. Dennis and Barbara Rainey are going to be on board the ship, along with Crawford and Karen Loritts, Kirk Cameron, Shaunti Feldhahn, Mary Ann and I are going to be there as well. Music from Point of Grace and Selah, and Big Daddy Weave. It's going to be a great week for couples and we hope you can come along. I say today's the last day to sign up, actually you can sign up after today, but two things are happening. First of all, the ship is starting to fill up, and secondly, today is the last day for the buy-one-get-one-free half price offer that we're making to FamilyLife Today listeners. If you sign up today, and you type my name, type “BOB” where you see the promo code box on the online form, you will save 50 percent on your stateroom costs. So, again get more information by going online at FamilyLifeToday.com, click the link to the Love Like You Mean It cruise, and get signed up today. Then we'll see you Valentine's Day as we set sail from south Florida. And with that we've got to wrap things up for today. I hope you have a great weekend. I hope you and your family are able to worship together this weekend. I hope you can join us back on Monday. Paul Miller is going to be here to help us unravel the mystery of prayer, and talk about what we can do to have a richer, deeper, prayer life. We'll talk about that Monday, I hope you can be with us. I want to thank our engineer today Keith Lynch and our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you Monday for another edition of FamilyLife Today. FamilyLife Today is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow. © Copyright 2010 __________________________________________________________________We are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to transcribe, create, and produce them for our website. If you've benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider donating today to help defray the costs? Copyright © FamilyLife. All rights reserved.www.FamilyLife.com
There are common stressors in marriage that need to be worked through regularly. Crawford Loritts tells about a time he and his wife, Karen, experienced three of the top 10 marriage stressors simultaneously. Emerson Eggerichs, Laura Taggart, and Paul David Tripp coach couples on how to walk through stress in marriage in such a way that it strengthens your relationship. Show Notes and Resources Crawford and Karen Loritts remind listeners that all marriages have storms, but those storms don’t have to be the end of hope to those who are anchored in Christ. (3 day series, 25 min. each) https://www.familylife.com/podcast/familylife-today/the-common-ground-of-the-cross/ Check out all that's available on the FamilyLife Podcast Network. https://www.familylife.com/familylife-podcast-network/ Learn more about becoming a Legacy Partner, a monthly supporter of FamilyLife. https://www.familylife.com/legacy
Is there any cure for bitterness? Karen Loritts knows what it’s like to be hurt. She knows what it’s like to harbor bitterness.
Is there any cure for bitterness? Karen Loritts knows what it’s like to be hurt. She knows what it’s like to harbor bitterness.
Fear tempts all of us. Karen Loritts says one problem with fear is that it brings buddies. Find out what she means as she speaks candidly about fear.
Fear tempts all of us. Karen Loritts says one problem with fear is that it brings buddies. Find out what she means as she speaks candidly about fear.
Karen Loritts had just gotten married and said, “What in the world have I gotten myself into?” She explains how God can use imperfect people to give Him glory.
Karen Loritts had just gotten married and said, “What in the world have I gotten myself into?” She explains how God can use imperfect people to give Him glory.
Barbara Rainey, Karen Loritts, Mary Kassian, Holly Elliff, and Carolyn McCulley talk about the value of mentoring.Show Notes and ResourcesHear some of the leading ladies of Christianity–Barbara Rainey, Karen Loritts, Mary Kassian, Holly Elliff and Carolyn McCulley-offer their own parting wisdom to women attending the True Woman conference held in Chicago.
Crawford & Karen Loritts
These days, it's common to hear the call for moms to find a "tribe" where they belong. While there is great benefit in connecting with women who share similar circumstances, challenges, or life passions, is this where we're supposed to find our primary source of community? In this episode, Emily and Laura address the online "tribe" trend, and challenge moms to examine God's plan for community, which is rooted in the local church. There is no online ministry or common interest group that can replace the need for deep relationships among flesh-and-blood believers. This Month's free printable is designed by True Cotton. Download and view all printables here. Related Articles & Resources: How to Find a Mentor in Motherhood - RM Blog Friendship & Motherhood || Ep. 58 - RM Show Archive When You Feel Alone || Ep. 10 - RM Show Archive Community Requires Venerability - Christine Hoover You Need Gospel Community - Brad Gray Communication & Community - Interview with Karen Loritts The One Thing You Need to Know in Order to Make Lasting Friendships - Christine Hoover Why Women's Ministry? - Kathleen Nielson Life Together - Dietrich Bonhoeffer For More: To subscribe: on iOS, go to our iTunes page and subscribe. On Android, click this podcast RSS feed link and select your podcast app. You may need to copy the link into your favorite podcast app (like Overcast or Stitcher). Leave an iTunes review. These are huge for us! The more reviews, the greater chance another mother will find us. Like Risen Motherhood on Facebook and follow on Instagram and Twitter for the latest updates and related information. Let us know your thoughts! We'd love to hear more about the conversations you're having. Shoot us an email, or find us on on social media. Tell others. We truly hope this podcast fosters conversations and deeper discussions between mothers to seek the gospel in their daily activities - we'd be honored if you shared and encouraged others to listen in. *Affiliate links used where appropriate. Thanks for supporting this ministry!
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