Podcast appearances and mentions of nancy leigh demoss

Chapter 1: Summary of Lies Women Believe"Lies Women Believe: And the Truth that Sets Them Free," written by Nancy Leigh DeMoss, addresses common misconceptions and false beliefs that many women struggle with in their spiritual and personal lives. The book aims to help women identify these lies and replace them with biblical truths. Key Themes:1. Common Lies: DeMoss outlines various lies women may believe about themselves, their relationships, and their roles, such as feelings of inadequacy, doubt about God's love, and misconceptions about their worth.2. The Power of Lies: The book emphasizes how these lies can lead to negative behaviors, unhealthy relationships, and a distorted view of self. They can hinder spiritual growth and overall well-being.3. Biblical Truths: For each lie, DeMoss provides corresponding biblical truths that counter these deceptions. She draws on Scripture to provide reassurance, encouraging women to root their identity in God's Word rather than societal expectations or personal fears.4. Practical Application: The author offers practical advice on how to replace lies with truths through prayer, Scripture study, and seeking accountability within a community of believers.5. Spiritual Transformation: Ultimately, the book is about transformation—understanding the lies one believes, embracing biblical truths, and experiencing the freedom and joy that comes from living in accordance with God's design. Conclusion:"Lies Women Believe" serves as a guide for women seeking to confront and dismantle lies in their lives, encouraging them to embrace a life anchored in truth and grounded in their faith.Chapter 2: The Theme of Lies Women Believe"Lies Women Believe: And the Truth That Sets Them Free" by Nancy Leigh DeMoss focuses on the various lies that women often believe and how these misconceptions can negatively affect their lives, relationships, and spiritual health. Key Plot Points:1. Identification of Lies: The book is structured around identifying specific lies that women commonly believe, such as themes around inadequacy, comparison, fear, and worthlessness.2. Personal Testimonies: DeMoss includes personal stories and testimonies from women, illustrating the struggles they face and how these lies manifest in their lives. This personal touch makes the issues relatable for readers.3. Biblical Truth: Each chapter not only discusses a particular lie but also presents corresponding biblical truths. DeMoss emphasizes the importance of grounding oneself in Scripture to overcome these deceptions.4. Impact of Lies: The book explores how these lies affect various aspects of a woman's life, including her identity, relationships, and emotional health.5. Freedom in Truth: The concluding chapters focus on the transformational power of embracing truth, encouraging readers to replace lies with scriptural affirmations and to seek a deeper relationship with God. Character Development:While "Lies Women Believe" is not a narrative fiction work, the author symbolizes various “characters” through the diverse women whose stories are presented. Their development is seen through:- Awareness and Acknowledgment: Characters evolve as they recognize and confront the lies they've believed for years.- Journey Towards Truth: The stories depict a journey of growth, where women move from confusion and despair to empowerment and confidence through the discovery of biblical truths.- Community: The importance of community and support among women is highlighted, showing how shared experiences can lead to collective healing and growth. Thematic Ideas:1. The Power of Lies: The book explores the psychological and spiritual hold lies can have on individuals, particularly women, and the detrimental effects of these...

Sarah LaCour of Deconstructing Purity Culture, and I are back deconstructing harmful Evangelical Narratives. Today, we are covering "Lies Women Believe" by Nancy Leigh DeMoss and how it relates to our current political moment.

Sarah LaCour of Deconstructing Purity Culture, and I are back deconstructing harmful Evangelical Narratives. Today, we are covering "Lies Women Believe" by Nancy Leigh DeMoss and how it relates to our current political moment.

Sarah LaCour of Deconstructing Purity Culture, and I are back deconstructing harmful Evangelical Narratives. Today, we are covering "Lies Women Believe" by Nancy Leigh DeMoss and how it relates to our current political moment.

Sarah LaCour of Deconstructing Purity Culture and I are back deconstructing harmful Evangelical Narratives. Today, we are covering "Lies Women Believe" by Nancy Leigh DeMoss and how it relates to our current political moment.

Sarah LaCour of Deconstructing Purity Culture and I are back deconstructing harmful Evangelical Narratives. Today, we are covering "Lies Women Believe" by Nancy Leigh DeMoss and how it relates to our current political moment.

Sarah LaCour of Deconstructing Purity Culture and I are back deconstructing harmful Evangelical Narratives. Today, we are covering "Lies Women Believe" by Nancy Leigh DeMoss and how it relates to our current political moment.

At a wedding, everyone loves it when the bride appears. Nancy Leigh DeMoss says the churchthe bride of Christcould catch people's attention just like a bride does at a wedding. Find out what it would take to capture the world's attention, on Revive Our Hearts with Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth. To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/453/29

At a wedding, everyone loves it when the bride appears. Nancy Leigh DeMoss says the churchthe bride of Christcould catch people's attention just like a bride does at a wedding. Find out what it would take to capture the world's attention, on Revive Our Hearts with Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth. To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/453/29

Matthew 18:21-35BIG IDEA: Forgiveness is hard, yet freeing.“Stop beating yourself up because of your past bad decisions. No one's past is spotless. Learn from your past and start over. God's mercies are endless." -Terraine Francois1. Forgiveness is a PriorityEphesians 4:31-32Everyone has the right to be bitter, but none of us can afford to be bitter.Matthew 6:122. With Forgiveness Comes FreedomMatthew 6:14-15“Forgiveness is an act of the will, and the will can function regardless of the temperature of the heart.” - Corrie Ten Boom“When you initially forgive, it is like letting go of a hot iron. There is initial pain and the scars will show, but you can start living again.” - Stephen RichardsWant freedom from your feelings?Pray for your offenders. 3. Restoration is a process, forgiveness is NOT.“When forgiveness is seen as a work in progress, it seldom becomes a work in practice.” - Nancy Leigh DeMossThere are no boundaries to forgiveness.There are boundaries to relationships.Response:• Allow yourself to be healed of the pain of being wronged• Choose to forgive• Walk in ForgivenessDISCOVERY BIBLE STUDY► This week's passage: Genesis 50:15-21► Connection questions:1. What are you thankful for?2. What is a challenge you are facing?3. How did you do with last week's “I will” statement?► Have at least one member of the group restate the passage in their own words► Individual answers to five questions:1. What stands out to you?2. What does this passage tell us about people?3. What does this passage tell us about God?4. Based on the passage, what is one thing I could do differently starting now and what would happen if I did? (each person commits to their action for one week using an “I will…” statement)5. Who are you going to tell about what you discovered? (each person commits to having that conversation before the next meeting)

Matthew 18:21-35BIG IDEA: Forgiveness is hard, yet freeing.“Stop beating yourself up because of your past bad decisions. No one's past is spotless. Learn from your past and start over. God's mercies are endless." -Terraine Francois1. Forgiveness is a PriorityEphesians 4:31-32Everyone has the right to be bitter, but none of us can afford to be bitter.Matthew 6:122. With Forgiveness Comes FreedomMatthew 6:14-15“Forgiveness is an act of the will, and the will can function regardless of the temperature of the heart.” - Corrie Ten Boom“When you initially forgive, it is like letting go of a hot iron. There is initial pain and the scars will show, but you can start living again.” - Stephen RichardsWant freedom from your feelings?Pray for your offenders. 3. Restoration is a process, forgiveness is NOT.“When forgiveness is seen as a work in progress, it seldom becomes a work in practice.” - Nancy Leigh DeMossThere are no boundaries to forgiveness.There are boundaries to relationships.Response:• Allow yourself to be healed of the pain of being wronged• Choose to forgive• Walk in ForgivenessDISCOVERY BIBLE STUDY► This week's passage: Genesis 50:15-21► Connection questions:1. What are you thankful for?2. What is a challenge you are facing?3. How did you do with last week's “I will” statement?► Have at least one member of the group restate the passage in their own words► Individual answers to five questions:1. What stands out to you?2. What does this passage tell us about people?3. What does this passage tell us about God?4. Based on the passage, what is one thing I could do differently starting now and what would happen if I did? (each person commits to their action for one week using an “I will…” statement)5. Who are you going to tell about what you discovered? (each person commits to having that conversation before the next meeting)

Lies Women Believe by Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth is one of the most popular women's bible study books used in churches across North America. But what does the book actually teach about marriage? About sex? About divorce and abuse? It's scary, and today Gretchen Baskerville and Natalie Hoffman join host Sheila Wray Gregoire to analyze the harmful messages in Lies Women Believe.Things Mentioned in the Podcast:Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work https://patreon.com/baremarriageOr, for tax deductible donations in the U.S., support our Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation: https://secure.qgiv.com/for/goodfruitsDownload our One Sheet on Lies Women Believe: https://baremarriage.com/podcast-problems-lies-women-believe-nancy-demoss-wolgemuthNatalie's Podcast Flying Free, and her website https://flyingfreenow.comNatalie Hoffman's book Is It Me: Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage https://baremarriage.com/the-orgasm-course/Gretchen Baskerville's site The Lifesaving Divorce: https://lifesavingdivorce.com/Gretchen Baskerville's YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@lifesavingdivorceGretchen's book The Lifesaving Divorce: https://amzn.to/3Sywly8Our podcast on The Power of  Praying Wife (featuring Gretchen): https://baremarriage.com/2023/06/podcast-the-problems-with-power-of-a-praying-wife/Our podcast telling Natalie's story: https://baremarriage.com/2022/09/podcast-how-christian-marriage-books-set-up-for-failure-with-natalie-hoffman/Our book She Deserves Better, which deals with Nancy Leigh DeMoss' book Lies Young Women Believe: https://baremarriage.com/she-deserves-better/

This episode is one I have been waiting to release! I met Wendy Blight many years ago through Proverbs 31 ministries and absolutely love her heart for reminding people they are not alone and that God will use every part of their stories, even the hardest parts, to not only grow us, but to help others who are going through the same thing. She demonstrates this during today's episode when she talks about how she was sexually assaulted for an entire day after graduating from college. She talks about how that event led to over 10 years of debilitating fear, so much so that she could not even be home alone. The story about her first night alone is a great reminder that God knows what we need and how He speaks directly to us, even if it isn't audible. She speaks about the importance of learning the Bible on our own, not just through a study or a book, but discovering the living, breathing, active Word of God. She even ends the podcast in a way no one has done before, which I loved so much! Enjoy this episode and let it remind you as you enter into this busy Thanksgiving and Christmas seasons to take time and be silent before God and let your soul have rest. Bio: Wendy is a wife, mother, author, Bible teacher, attorney, and the Biblical Content Specialist for Proverbs 31 Ministries. Her heart's desire is to connect women more deeply with God's Word. To learn it, pray it and know with confidence they can tackle any problem life presents through it. Wendy's newest book, Rest for Your Soul: A Bible Study on Solitude, Silence & Prayer, released in August 2023. She's authored four other books, Hidden Joy in a Dark Corner, Living So That, I Know His Name and 1 John: Walking in the Fullness of God's Love. Wendy has been a featured guest on Oprah Radio, The 700 Club, Family Life Today with Dr. Dennis Rainey, Revive Our Hearts with Nancy Leigh DeMoss and Building Relationships with Dr. Gary Chapman. Wendy lives with her husband, Monty, in Charlotte, North Carolina and loves most when her children, Lauren, Morgan and Bo come home to visit and fill their home with lots of love and laughter!   Verses Discussed: Hebrews 4:12 Psalm 40:1-3 Psalm 139 Isaiah 55:11-12 Anchor Verses: Isaiah 26:3-4 Romans 8:37-39 Connect with Wendy: Website: https://www.wendyblight.com FB: https://www.facebook.com/WendySBlight IG: https://www.instagram.com/wblight/ Proverbs 31 Ministries: Website: https://proverbs31.org/ IG: https://www.instagram.com/Proverbs31Ministries/ FB: https://www.facebook.com/Prov31Ministries/ Podcast: https://proverbs31podcastnetwork.com/ ***This podcast is a proud member of the Spark Network! It is a network of Christian podcasts that cover so many different topics!  Head over to: https://www.sparkmedia.ventures/spark-network#/ to find more amazing podcasts!!***

This week on Real Talk with Rachael I'm chatting with someone whose words changed my life, Dannah Gresh. Dannah is the founder of True Girl, bringing moms and daughters closer to each other and closer to Jesus, and co-host of the Revive Our Hearts podcast. Dannah has authored over 27 books including And the Bride Wore White, Lies Young Women Believe (with Nancy Leigh DeMoss) and Lies Girls Believe. More than 20,000 leaders and 100,000 moms have taught her curriculum and over 500,000 people have attended her live events and retreats. Dannah and her husband, Bob, live on a hobby farm in central Pennsylvania. They have four adult children and four grandchildren. Key Points from Our Conversation: Dannah wrote Happily Even After about her and her husband's experience after he revealed an addiction to pornography - a more common problem than we typically believe, even in established marriages. It's easy to be upset with our spouse's actions, but they're often not personal, rather they are a coping mechanism learned in childhood. Sexual addiction can be as addictive as drugs because of the way our brains respond to the stimulant. Shame will wreak havoc in our relationships. James 5:16 tells us, "Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective." If you want true intimacy in your relationship, it will require facing hard truths. As Christians, we believe that our marriage should reflect Jesus' love for the church. We are uniquely that picture when we choose to play the role of Jesus in forgiving our spouse. When we seek comfort through "forbidden fruits" like porn, drinking, or overeating, it's an alert that we are not finding our satisfaction in Christ. Find a Christian counselor to talk to and dig out the root of the lie that you're choosing to believe and hold it to the truth of Jesus. Sometimes it takes setting hard boundaries in order for people to recognize the depth of their actions and the effect they're having on others. If you are in a relationship that is affected by a pornography addiction or infidelity, you are not alone. Though you do need to give grace while setting difficult boundaries, you also have to tend to your own heart. If you are waiting on your spouse to heal you're heart, you've got things out of order - only God can heal you. One essential truth your relationship will need to survive is that trust is a gift you choose to give. It can be built by consistent action over time, but ultimately you must choose trust. Let's Get Real Practical: If you're holding on to a sexual secret, get help from a professional so that you can be set free. Resources: Ep.29: Lies We Believe & the Truth That Sets Us Free with Dannah Gresh American Association of Christian Counselors Connect with Dannah: website | Instagram | Facebook Connect with Rachael: website | Instagram | Facebook

“Happily Even After is something we can experience as we walk through our marriage relationship with prayer and with the power of God in our lives.” Bestselling author, speaker, and founder of True Girl, Dannah Gresh, talks about her new book which focuses on healing from pornography addiction and how Christ can help you redeem the broken places of your marriage. The Moms in Prayer Podcast is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. To find practical and spiritual advice to help you grow into the parent you want to be visit ChristianParenting.org ABOUT OUR GUEST Dannah Gresh is the founder of True Girl, bringing moms and daughters closer to each other and closer to Jesus, and co-host of the Revive Our Hearts podcast. Dannah has authored over 27 books including And the Bride Wore White, Lies Young Women Believe (with Nancy Leigh DeMoss) and Lies Girls Believe. More than 20,000 leaders and 100,000 moms have taught her curriculum and over 500,000 people have attended her live events and retreats. Dannah and her husband, Bob, live on a hobby farm in central Pennsylvania. They have four adult children and four grandchildren. SCRIPTURES  But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people. Ephesians 5:3 NIV Your word is a lamp to my feet And a light to my path. Psalm 119:105 NKJV “Again I say to you that if two of you agree on earth concerning anything that they ask, it will be done for them by My Father in heaven. For where two or three are gathered together in My name, I am there in the midst of them.” Matthew 18:19-20 NKJV Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might. Put on the full armor of God, so that you will be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places. Therefore, take up the full armor of God, so that you will be able to resist on the evil day, and having done everything, to stand firm. Stand firm therefore, having belted your waist with truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and having strapped on your feet the preparation of the gospel of peace; in addition to all, taking up the shield of faith with which you will be able to extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. And take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. With every prayer and request, pray at all times in the Spirit, and with this in view, be alert with all perseverance and every request for all the saints. Ephesians 6:10-18 NASB All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort. He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 NLT Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective. James 5:16 NIV Yes, you came when I called; you told me, “Do not fear.” Lord, you have come to my defense; you have redeemed my life. Lamentations 3:57-58 NLT   LINKS Dannah Gresh True Girl   BOOKS Happily Even After   MOMS IN PRAYER New to Moms in Prayer? How to get started Follow Us on Instagram Follow Us on Facebook Support Our Mission

Dannah Gresh is a best-selling author and sought-after speaker. In her latest book, Happily Even After, Dannah is a friend who walks beside you as she demonstrates how to forgive, live with joy, and hold your head high while Jesus Christ redeems the broken places of your marriage after suffering from things like pornography, addiction, or even an affair.  Dannah has sold over 2 million books and reaches women and girls in more than 100 countries. Her best-selling titles include And the Bride Wore White, Lies Young Women Believe co-authored with Nancy Leigh DeMoss, and Lies Girls Believe. Dannah is the co-host of Revive Our Hearts, a daily podcast for women, and the founder of True Girl, which provides mom+daughter connection tools including the True Girl podcast. Learn more about Dannah by visiting her website, https://dannahgresh.com/ Looking for more episodes on Affair Recovery?  Here are additional conversations, including more with Dr. Mike. Looking for more episodes on marriage enrichment?  Check out this page for more. Sign up for our monthly newsletter here! For more content and resources visit www.life-giver.org We want to hear from you - It helps us serve you better! Send us an email at podcast@corieweathers.com Want to work with Corie? Check out https://www.corieweathers.com/ for more info. Song Credits: "You and Me" Tamas Kolozsvari, "Invisible Beauty" by Aakash Gandhi

There is hope for your marriage! It doesn't matter if you have had a marriage that has suffered because of addiction, adultery, or unforgiveness, Jesus Christ can redeem those broken pieces and make something beautiful out of the ashes. That is what He did for our guests, Bob and Dannah Gresh. In this episode you will hear their redemption story and find practical ways to move forward as you continue to seek God's best in your marriage.   Dannah Gresh is a best-selling author and sought-after speaker. Her best-selling titles include And the Bride Wore White, Lies Young Women Believe co-authored with Nancy Leigh DeMoss, and Lies Girls Believe. Dannah is the co-host of Revive Our Hearts, a daily podcast for women, and the founder of True Girl, which provides mom + daughter connection tools including the True Girl podcast.    Dannah has sold over 2 million books and reaches women and girls in more than 100 countries. She and her husband Bob live in State College, Pennsylvania on a small farm that could be confused as a petting zoo. Horses, llamas, peacocks, chickens, goats, dogs, and cats abound. The family pastime is chasing whoever— or whatever—might be loose.   Get the Happily Even After book here  

This weeks episode features Rev. Jennifer Jindrich and focuses on Philippians 2:3-4Meditation:  Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it. ~William Arthur WardGratitude is the overflow of a humble heart. ~Nancy Leigh Demoss

Você é a Sua História - Entrevista "As vezes as nossas histórias nos desgastam ou nos deixam debilitados. A vida muitas vezes é difícil e pesada. Mesmo assim, até uma história pesada não tem o direito de nos definir. Nem deve ser usado como uma desculpa, por mais prejudicial que possa ter sido. A grande realidade da história de Cristo nos anima, nos reorienta e nos convoca à nossa verdadeira identidade."  - trecho do livro "Who God Says You Are" do Klyne Snodgrass (tradução livre minha) No episódio de hoje escutamos um pouco da história da Raquel. Muitos momentos que ela descreve foram difíceis e pesados. Mas a Raquel continua olhando para a história de Cristo para definí-la. Ela segue (de maneira imperfeita, claro) se reorientando à sua verdadeira identidade e não usa os momentos difíceis que passou como desculpa pelos erros que comete.  Eu sempre digo que temos muito que aprender com as histórias umas das outras. Então finge que você está pegando um café e sentando na mesa com a gente para ouvir a história da Raquel (mesmo que realidade seja que você esta pegando um rodo, uma pilha de roupa, pesos na academia, ou uma longa estrada pela frente!) Recursos Mencionados A série toda é baseada no livro: "Who God Says You Are" do Klyne Snodgrass. Esse livro ainda não tem tradução para o português, mas peçam aí para as editoras brasileiras :)  A Raquel citou vários livros no final do episódio. Aqui está a lista:  "O Poder da Esposa que Ora" da autora Stormie Omartian "Venha Andar Sobre as Águas" do autor John Ortberg "Caído mas não Derrotado" do autor Wayne A. Mack "Incomparável" da autora Jen Wilkin "Mentiras em que as mulheres acreditam e a verdade que as liberta" da autora Nancy Leigh DeMoss

Today's guest is Bill Rose, a minority owner of the most iconic sports franchise of all time, the New York Yankees. As a limited partner of the Yankees, Bill shares his special connections to The Boss, George Steinbrenner, his childhood hero, Yankee great Bobby Richardson and Hollywood icon Kirk Douglas. Despite incredible “success” in the world's eyes, Bill describes his addiction to cocaine, women, and work and how it nearly ruined his marriage. You will be encouraged by Bill's authenticity and story of God's amazing grace in his life. Be sure to subscribe to the Post Game with Paul Golden podcast wherever you listen to podcasts.www.Vickirosenyc.comwww.moodypublishers.com/every-reason-to-leave/www.PaulGolden.org

================================================== ==SUSCRIBETEhttps://www.youtube.com/channel/UCNpffyr-7_zP1x1lS89ByaQ?sub_confirmation=1================================================== == DEVOCIÓN MATUTINA PARA MUJERES 2022“SIN MIEDOS NI CADENAS”Narrado por: Sirley DelgadilloDesde: Bucaramanga, ColombiaUna cortesía de DR'Ministries y Canaan Seventh-Day Adventist Church  11 DE AGOSTOUNA HISTORIA ÚNICA“En cualquier caso, cada uno debe vivir conforme a la condición que el Señor le asignó y a la cual Dios lo ha llamado. Esta es la norma que establezco en todas las iglesias” (1 Cor. 7:17, NVI). Dios me dijo que él está escribiendo una historia única con mi vida. Por eso, cuando me siento inferior, al ver los cuerpos esbeltos, las familias y los éxitos profesionales de otras mujeres, susurro una simple oración: “¡Que mi historia sea digna!” Dios no “copia y pega”; él escribe una trama diferente con cada una de nosotras. Mi vida no sería mejor si fuera como la de Laura; en realidad, sería la vida de Laura, no la mía. Lo que importa no es que nuestras historias encajen con las expectativas culturales, o en un jean de talle 26, sino que sean dignas de ser contadas en el cielo. “Debemos resistir la tentación de comparar lo que él pide de nosotras con lo que él le puede pedir a otros”, escribe Nancy Leigh DeMoss en Surrender [Rendición]. Dios tiene un llamado y una asignación única para cada persona. “Sin importar si él te llama a servirlo de una manera que parece insignificante o significativa, escondida o visible, por debajo de tus habilidades o años luz por encima, aburrida o emocionante, común o inimaginable […] lo que sea que él te pida, dondequiera que él te envíe, el corazón rendido dirá junto con María de Nazaret: ‘Soy la sierva del Señor. Que se cumpla todo lo que has dicho acerca de mí' ”, agrega. Dios nos da diferentes dones y diferentes llamados para servirnos las unas a las otras. Las bendiciones y las oportunidades recibidas no tienen la función de anclar nuestra identidad o definir nuestro valor personal (Cristo es el ancla, Heb. 6:19). Deja de compararte. No hay un llamado más grande ni mejor que el que Dios te dio a ti. “No deshonres a Dios al devaluar los dones que te ha dado”, escribe Jon Bloom en su artículo “Steward the Gifts God Has Assigned to You”. “No pierdas tiempo valioso refunfuñando sobre los dones que no tienes, o sintiendo resentimiento hacia los demás por los dones que poseen”, añade. Completa tu asignatura. Usa lo que recibiste para la gloria de Dios. Él te dará una recompensa fuera de proporción, escribirá con tu vida una historia digna de ser narrada en el cielo. Serás una página viva que cuente la historia de la redención. Señor, gracias por darme un cuerpo y un llamado únicos, hechos a mi medida. Hoy renuncio a las comparaciones. Quiero dedicar mi tiempo a comprender mejor mi llamado y a usar los talentos que me diste para tu gloria. Escribe una historia digna del cielo con mi vida. Me rindo a tus planes. Me entrego a tu sabiduría.

In a world that insists that truth is relative and that no one should trample on another's version of truth, happiness, contentment, and joy are as elusive as ever. The Bible is clear - God is the source of all truth and living outside of that truth is to be opposed to the Creator's clear design for His creation. In this series, we will study the lies that even Christians fall for, and the truth that will set them free. (Inspiration for this series comes from "Lies Women Believe" by Nancy Leigh DeMoss)

================================================== ==SUSCRIBETEhttps://www.youtube.com/channel/UCNpffyr-7_zP1x1lS89ByaQ?sub_confirmation=1================================================== == DEVOCIÓN MATUTINA PARA MUJERES 2022“SIN MIEDOS NI CADENAS”Narrado por: Sirley DelgadilloDesde: Bucaramanga, ColombiaUna cortesía de DR'Ministries y Canaan Seventh-Day Adventist Church  30 DE ABRIL SOLTAR LAS RIENDAS“Luego Jesús les dijo a sus discípulos: 'Si ustedes quieren ser mis discípulos, tienen que olvidarse de hacer su propia voluntad. Tienen que estar dispuestos a cargar su cruz ya hacer lo que yo les diga'” (Mat. 16:24, TLA).Cuando era niña, leí El pecoso y los comanches , una historia ficticia del lejano Oeste. Thad, el protagonista, vivía con sus padres en Texas, en la frontera de la "civilización". Cuando los comanches capturaron a Thad, el intentó escapar en su caballo. Como el caballo conocía el camino de regreso a casa, Thad soltó las riendas. Sin embargo, en un momento, Thad creyó que estaban yendo por el camino incorrecto y decidió guiar al caballo por otro sendero. desde luego, esta decisión hizo que ambos se perdieran.Es fácil confiar en Dios cuando las cosas van bien y según nuestros planes. Sin embargo, cuando el miedo y la incertidumbre nos rodean, queremos tomar las riendas y elegir otro camino. No saber lo que vendrá nos provoca tal frustración que muchas veces preferimos tomar una mala decisión, en lugar de esperar y someternos al proceso. “En lugar de luchar contra la incertidumbre, ama en la incertidumbre”, escribe Paul Miller en A Loving Life [Una vida amorosa]. “La fe crece en la tierra fértil de la ambigüedad. […] No inviertas tu energía en ordenar lo que no puedes controlar, simplemente, ama en el desorden”.Para amar en el desorden hay que cederle el control a Dios, y esta es una disciplina diaria. A veces pienso que cuando esta o aquella persona deje de decir tonterias, entonces vamos a llevarnos mejor. Pero Dios me llama a amarla en el desorden de no poder controlar lo que sale de su boca. A veces creo que cuando mi situación económica sea más estable, podré dejar de preocuparme y ser más generoso. Sin embargo, Dios me llama a confiar en él ya administrar fielmente lo que tengo hoy, en la incertidumbre del presente.Creemos que tener más control y más información nos traerá paz y tranquilidad. Sin embargo, la paz es el resultado de someterse a Dios. Todo aquello que no rendimos, nos llena de ansiedad. En Surrende r [Rendición], Nancy Leigh DeMoss escribe: "No puede haber paz con Dios, ni paz en nuestros corazones, a menos que nos rindamos completamente. Negarse a rendirse simplemente agravar las pérdidas, postergar el rendirse solo prolonga el conflicto". Hoy Dios nos llama a soltar las riendas, a amar en la incertidumbre ya confiar en que él ya preparó un camino.Señor, gracias porque tú quieres estar al mando de mi vida para llenarme de paz. Hoy te cedo el control. En los momentos de incertidumbre y desorden, dame tu coraje para amar. 

Once we agree with God that we exist for His purpose and His Glory, we can accept whatever comes into our lives as part of His sovereign will and purpose. Nancy Leigh DeMoss

Paul Hiepler is a former basketball player from Abilene Christian University. Paul was a standout high school player who came to college with every dream and aspiration to be the leader of the ACU basketball team by putting up incredible stats and hitting big time game winning shots to send his team dancing in the March Madness tournament. Unfortunately, Paul never got the amount of playing time he probably would have liked or dreamt of during his collegiate basketball career. But instead of moping or wallowing in self-pity, Paul decided to keep working hard and become the BEST TEAMMATE possible! Little did Paul know, the Lord was intervening on his behalf and was working behind closed doors all along. As Abilene Christian University upset the University of Texas in the first round of this year's March Madness Basketball Tournament, Paul Hiepler didn't play a minute, but he was the most excited and energetic player on the court the entire night, even from the sidelines. You see, Paul is the type of person who didn't let playing time define who he was. Paul completely found his identity in Christ which propelled him into the moment God was preparing him for. Noted by ESPN as being “The Player Every Team Needs,” Paul Hiepler became an overnight sensation. The picture of his “Horns Down” symbol instantly went viral and got his name all over social media. Immediately interviews on podcasts just like this came flooding in and Paul was able to spread the light and the good news of the gospel of Jesus Christ. It's amazing how when you make the choice to control the controllables and you choose to have an attitude of gratitude how far it can take you. Nancy Leigh Demoss says it like this, “In every situation that is thrown my way, I am given one of two options… I can either whine or I can worship. And it's impossible to worship without giving thanks.” My prayer is that this episode challenges you to choose WORSHIP and JOY like Paul did in every and all circumstances that may come your way.  

Click Here to Listen to the other parts in the seriesRebooting Christmas (Part 1) - A Christ-Focused ChristmasRebooting Christmas (Part 2) - Jesus, The Reason We CelebrateFamilyLife Today® Radio Transcript  References to conferences, resources, or other special promotions may be obsolete. A Christ-Focused Christmas Guest:                         Barbara Rainey                    From the series:       Rebooting Christmas (Day 1 of 2)Air date:                     November 26, 2012  Bob:  When the halls at your house get decked, what do they look like?   Woman:  The first four years of our marriage we lived in apartments; so, to save on space—you know not having the big evergreen and then also not have to store it all year round, if you were to get a plastic one.  We already had an indoor Ficus; so, we just threw some Christmas lights on it and went and bought fancy ornaments and put it on there.  We were like, “It's the traditional Christmas Ficus.”  At one point, I was singing, “Oh, Ficus tree, Oh, Ficus tree….”   I wanted a tree just because it's a part of Christmas décor, but it really was just, “We don't have kids.  We don't have room.  There's really no point or no need.”  And I was like, “We've got to have something Christmas in the house.”  That's when Josh was like, “We can decorate the Ficus.”  So, we went out and bought fancy blue and copper ornaments.  We were like, “We're going to make it the high-class, traditional Christmas Ficus.”    So, we had that for a couple of years.  Then, we had red and green for a couple of years.  We'll probably need to get new ones this year.   We still put the presents underneath it, and I remember—I kid you not—this is our tree.  I mean we've got it and just like, “Yay!  The traditional Christmas Ficus is here,” because everyone in our family just knows that, that's our—that's our tree.   Barbara:  What has made me sad for years is that our trees don't tell the story of Christ, they don't tell the story of Jesus.  I just started thinking about what would it be like if Christians all over the country and all over the world, in fact, would have the names of Christ on their trees and symbols of what Christmas is all about.  It would be a statement of our faith.  It would be a reminder of why we celebrate.  It's a way of bringing the truth of Christ into our Christmas celebrations.   Bob:  This is FamilyLife Today for Monday, November 26th.  Our host is the President of FamilyLife®, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.  There's nothing wrong with an occasional snowman or a reindeer, but what if your house could make a statement about Jesus during the Christmas season?  We'll talk about how to do that today.   And welcome to FamilyLife Today.  Thanks for joining us on the Monday edition.   Dennis:  It is more beautiful here in the studio today.  (Laughter)   Bob:  Would you like to explain why?   Dennis:  That laugh you just heard is the reason, because wherever this woman goes, she makes things beautiful.   Bob:  I'm just amazed—here's what I'm amazed about— Dennis:  It's my wife, Barbara, by the way.   Bob:  Yes, that's right.  Barbara, welcome to FamilyLife Today.   Dennis:  Welcome. Barbara:  Thank you, Bob.   Bob:  I'm just amazed that you even had time to be here because the first half of the season is over—Thanksgiving is done, the turkey has been served, leftovers are mostly gone.   Barbara:  In Tupperware containers or gone.  (Laughter)   Bob:  Now, we're gearing up for the second half; because as soon as you put everything away for Thanksgiving, you've got to flip the house into Christmas mode, don't you?   Barbara:  Yes.  Yes, you've got to switch gears and switch gears quickly.   Bob:  So, is the weekend—is Thanksgiving weekend relaxing or is it just— Barbara:  For us?   Bob:  Yes.   Barbara:  Yes, it's relaxing because we don't switch gears and put the tree up on Friday morning like a lot of families do.  I just—I just want to enjoy the Thanksgiving weekend.  It's our favorite holiday.  We often have kids home.  We don't usually have children, our adult kids, home at Christmas.  We have them at Thanksgiving, and I want to enjoy them.  So, we don't usually start that until Monday after everyone is gone—or Tuesday or the next weekend, for that matter.   Dennis:  She really does not like the whole commercialization of Christmas that starts back before July 4th.  (Laughter)   Bob:  There is a reason why FamilyLife Today listeners don't hear us talking about Christmas until now.   Dennis:  And it's Barbara.   Bob:  We don't bring it up—there's an embargo on our calendars: “You cannot mention Christmas”— Dennis:  You know what?  Seriously.   Bob:  Honestly.   Dennis:  There are those here at FamilyLife on the team who -- it's been brought up before that we should feature some of the resources we create for listeners -- but they said, “Oh, no, no.”   Bob:  “No, no.”   Dennis:  “You can't do that.  Barbara”— Bob:  “Barbara would not allow it.”  (Laughter)   Dennis:  —“would not allow this.”   Barbara:  As if I have this great authority, which I do not.   Bob:  Trust me.  Trust me.   Dennis:  Well, you did on this one.   Bob:  More than you know.   Dennis:  Years ago—years ago, you laid down the law.  The law is still in the land.  Bob:  So, we don't talk about—we talk about Jesus— Dennis:  Yes.   Barbara:  Yes.   Dennis:  Of course.   Bob:  —and his birthday, maybe; but we wait until we're past—so, here we are, so that means this week is decorate the house week for you.   Barbara:  Play the Christmas music and jump in.   Dennis:  It's get the boxes out of the attic.   Bob:  So, are you pretty excited about that?  You look forward to this time?  Dennis:  Oh, I love carrying those boxes.   Barbara:  He does not.   Dennis:  I—they're—no.   Bob:  We talked to a dad about how this works in his house; and after we got done talking to him, our team decided we needed to rewrite the entire “Twelve Days of Christmas” song to be about the 12 days of decorating the house for this season.   Man:  Sometime, in there, she wants to pull them out and start putting ornaments up.   (Singing)   Man:  She'll start hinting around; and then, the day will come, and it'll sneak up on me.  Then, she'll say “I want to get the ornaments out and decorate today.”   (Singing)  Man:  It means I'm not going to get to lay there and watch football.  It means I've got to get my ladder and get into our attic, which involves going through our closet, climbing through a tiny, little hole in the ceiling, and getting down about 12 boxes of Christmas decorations.   Bob:  Is it a great day?   Man:  No, it's not a good day.  It's a bad day to beat down.  (Laughter)   When I finally get all the boxes down, I climb my way back down out of the attic drenched in sweat by that time—not in the mood to decorate a tree, not in a mood to be around my family, not in the mood to celebrate Christmas.   Bob:  Can you relate?   Dennis:  I can.  I mean you'd have to see the section we have commissioned for all these boxes.  Maybe we have some boxes that need Carbon-14 dating to determine how old they are.  (Laughter) Bob:  This section, you're talking about storage?  I mean— Barbara:  Mm-hmm.   Dennis:  Uh-huh.   Bob:  —how—what would you guess—how much space—is there a half bedroom full of space?   Barbara:  Oh, no, no, no, no.  No, it's not that much.  It's probably five feet by five feet by— Dennis:  Oh, give me a break!  It's much more than that.   Barbara:  It is too.   Dennis:  All the wrapping paper and all the wreaths—I mean the wreaths up there are stacked at least 12 feet high.  (Laughter)   Barbara:  Oh, dear.   Bob:  And you've upped the ante this year at your house, and are hoping that other families will up the ante as well.  You want— Barbara:  I did.   Bob:  —you want to revolutionize Christmas decorating.   Barbara:  I would like to do that.  I have had a desire for 20 years to find ornaments that talk about Christ, ornaments that really are the essence of the season and why we celebrate Christmas.   I've been looking for 20 years.  I'll occasionally find one that has something to do with Jesus or something to do with the manger or you'll see a holy family ornament occasionally; but there just aren't a lot to choose from.  The ones that are there are often cheap.  They're plastic; or they're something inexpensive looking that to me detracts from who God is.  He's the King, He's the Lord; and to make an ornament that is cheap and, frankly, tacky is to take away from who He is.   Bob:  When your reindeer looks better than your nativity scene— Barbara:  Yes, the Jesus ornament.  Yes.   Bob:  —something is wrong.   Barbara:  Something's wrong.   Dennis:  Well, and it's not just the quality; it's also the message that's on the ornaments that hang on trees.  I mean you've got candy canes.  You've got Santa Claus— Barbara:  —and snowmen and reindeer and footballs and cupcakes and—I mean the craft—our local craft store, which is in a lot of stores around town—last year when I was there several times just kind of perusing and getting a feel for what they had, there were probably four or five aisles, floor to ceiling with ornaments; and they were all secular.  There was one section on one aisle that was maybe 12 inches wide that had a few ornaments that were about Jesus—a very, very few.   To look at that, I thought, “This is really telling,” that we have probably—I don't know, a total of how many square feet that would be, but it was a lot of square feet.  It would be a large sized bedroom or more; and that a very tiny, tiny fraction of those ornaments were devoted to the reason we even celebrate Christmas.   Bob:  So, your tree for the last 30 plus years—you guys have been married for 40 years—what has your tree looked like?   Barbara:  Like a lot of other trees.  I mean we have lights, and I have found a few things over the years that are reflective of the Christmas story.  So, we have some stars.  We have a few angels, but we have a lot of balls.  We have a lot of things that the kids have made.  We have a lot of just random ornaments—Christmas trees and other things that really don't have anything to do with Christmas because I haven't been able to find ornaments that are about Christ.   Dennis:  I want to underline what Barbara said earlier, Bob.  I have heard her soapbox about this for the past 20 years.  She would walk into a Hallmark store, Wal-Mart, Hobby Lobby; and she would look at all the ornaments, and she would say, “Where is the King of kings and Lord of lords?  Where is Jesus Christ in all this mass of decorating around Christmas?”   It was ultimately what caused us to get away almost three years ago and begin talking and dreaming about how she could use her artistic ability and design sense that she has—plus her theology and her love for the Scriptures and her love for families to be able to create something that families could use here at Christmas to communicate the truth about God and their experience of God to the next generation.   Bob:  So, how is your tree going to look different this year than it's looked in past years?   Barbara:  Well, this year our tree is going to be decorated with the names of Jesus because we have come out with a set of Adorenaments® this year; and some of our listeners will remember that we had Adorenaments in years past, and they went out of print, so to speak.   We have recreated them this year and plan to recreate them in years to come with more names; but this year, we have a set of seven of Jesus' names.  They are the names we most commonly associate with the Christmas story—so, the names out of the Luke 2 story: Christ the Lord, Savior, and Jesus; and then names out of Isaiah that we also commonly associate with Christmas.  Everyone knows them.  It's Prince of Peace, Mighty God, and Wonderful Counselor; then, we have the name Emmanuel, too.   So, we will have something that talks about Jesus on our Christmas tree for the first time, and I can't wait to cover it with His names.   Bob:  You mentioned that years ago we had developed a set of ornaments called Adorenaments.  What's different about what you've created than what we had before, in case any of our listeners remember the old set of Adorenaments?   Barbara:  Exactly.  The old Adorenaments were also the names of Christ.  They weren't what we are now calling His Christmas names.  It was a different list of His names, but they were designed for toddlers and preschoolers, for young children.  So, they were not breakable.  They were brightly colored, and I remember when those came out—and I thought they were nice.   I liked the concept, but I remember thinking, “My kids are too old for these;” because when they came out, our youngest kids were in elementary school, and our oldest ones were teenagers.  And they were very child centric, child-focused.   So, I wanted to create a set of Adorenaments that would be not focused on toddlers and preschoolers, but that they could handle and not be afraid of breaking them; but that would also be something that teenagers and adults would go, “Wow, those are really beautiful.  I want those on my tree,” and it still had the message of the names of Christ.   Bob:  And when you say these are the names of Jesus, some of our listeners who can't see them—although if they want to go to FamilyLifeToday.com— Barbara:  That's right.   Bob:  —they can see what they look like—but these are carved, metal names. Barbara:  Correct.   Bob:  Right?   Barbara:  Correct.  They're stamped out of metal for a couple of reasons.  One, we wanted something that would last, that would be long-lasting for decades.  We wanted something that wouldn't break, so that a two-year-old can help decorate the tree.   We have twins, grandchildren, who are two years old; and I can imagine Piper and Lilly hanging these ornaments on the tree.  There's no way it can hurt them.  They can't break them, and they can begin to understand that this is the name of Jesus and “I can hang it on the tree as a two-year-old.”  But they are nice enough that kids who are 12 through 18 and adults, families who don't have children, single, men and women, who put up a tree—the idea is that these will span all ages.   So, it is the literal name of Jesus stamped out of metal with a hanger to hang on the tree.   Bob:  The interesting thing is when you walk into a room and the tree dominates the room at Christmastime, so all eyes go to the tree.  It's got lights; they're flashing and all of that.  If your tree is covered with these seven ornaments that display the name of Jesus, it sets a different tone for— Barbara:  Absolutely.   Bob:  —what the tree's all about, doesn't it?   Barbara:  Exactly.  It is the focal point—you're right—in most homes.  What has made me sad for years is that our trees don't tell the story of Christ.  They don't tell the story of Jesus.  And I just started thinking about what would it be like if Christians all over the country and all over the world, in fact, would have the names of Christ on their trees and symbols of what Christmas is all about.   It would be a statement of our faith.  It would be a reminder of why we celebrate.  It would teach us who the Jesus is that we love and serve and want to obey.  It's a way of bringing the truth of Christ into our Christmas celebrations.   Dennis:  And we'll talk more about this later, but each of these names is rich in meaning.  I think, most of us walk past the name Jesus or Savior, or the concept of Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Prince of Peace—we walk by those names and never stop to think about, “Why did God describe His Son in these terms?”   I think what's cool about this, Bob, is that the package that contains all seven names of Christ here, His Christmas names, contains a booklet that you can read aloud even to young children.  It's interesting, we've done this in the past with our grandkids around some of these things Barbara has created, and it works.  They sit and listen.  They really do.   Now, it's not going to last long.  It's not going to last more than five to seven minutes total.   Barbara:  Right.   Dennis:  But it's a chance to take the name, Savior, hold it up, talk about it, read what it says about Savior; and then go hang that name on the tree.  Then, let it be a reminder of why God described His Son with that name.   Bob:  The ornaments you've created are available individually; but as Dennis said, they're also in a box with all seven of them and with the booklet.  So, if somebody got all seven of them and the booklet, how would you imagine them using the booklet?  Would they do it as a part of their decorating of the tree?  Would they go ahead and decorate the tree, then use the booklet during the week?  What would you think?   Barbara:  I think either one of those would work.  I think the two simplest options are— depending on the ages of your kids and their ability to pay attention—but one is to hang all seven names in the evening or over the weekend whenever you do your tree and read the story that goes with each one as that ornament is hung.   The other idea would be to maybe save them until the week right before Christmas and hang one each night for the seven days before Christmas, so that you really can focus on that; and it doesn't get lost in all the other things that are going on, because most of us get our decorating done pretty early after Thanksgiving or sometimes before or in the first week in December.   And sometimes, that last week before Christmas is quieter.  The parties are over.  Kids are out of school and it might be an easier time to actually focus on this if you saved it for that week, but it's flexible.  Families can do it any way they want to—whatever works.   Bob:  And with younger children, if you save it until that last week, they get that sense as they watch a new ornament placed every day—they're counting down the days until Christmas anyway.   Barbara:  Anyway, yes.   Bob:  This helps them count down the days.   Dennis:  Kind of like an— Bob:  Yes.   Dennis:  —advent wreath.  One of the things we did for these resources for families was we wanted to make moms and dads really look good in front of their kids around these holidays.   So, one of the guys who tested one of these resources like this, he said, “I was able to pull out the little booklet that Barbara created, and I was able to read it.”  I think they said they spent about 30 minutes kind of unveiling everything; and he said, “At the end of the time, I was kind of strutting around like, ‘I really did this thing.  I led my family spiritually.'”  Every man wants to do that.  We just don't know how.   Frankly, back when we had children, this was one of the issues for us.  We talked about, “How can we make Christmas more about Jesus Christ?  How can we do that?”  Honestly, Bob, we did our best to read the Bible, to point the kids to the story and talk about Him and talk about the reason for the season; but we weren't able to crack the code.   That's what really excites me about what Barbara's doing here.  She's really setting up the parents to really look good and to be effective as those who are really called to pass on the truth to their children.   Bob:  These ornaments that you've created are just one of a number of resources that you have on your heart to be used around holidays or throughout the year; and as I've observed, it really kind of has three goals.  One is to use the holidays for spiritual benefit.  The second is to make the home reflect both with beauty and with message what the season is all about, and then, to be an equipping tool for you, as Dennis just said, to lead your family spiritually.   Barbara:  Exactly, you nailed it, because that is the essence of what I'm trying to do.  Holidays are natural gathering times for families.  We naturally get together, even if it's just with our nuclear family, around all the holidays; and they happen year after year after year.   I remember, as a mom, wanting to do something that was meaningful on all of the holidays, including Easter and Thanksgiving and Christmas; but I was so busy and I was so tired and I was so overwhelmed that often I remember thinking, “I just don't have the energy to go find something or to create something or to come up with an idea on my own.”   I just didn't have the emotional energy, but I had the desire to make it meaningful.  I had the desire to proclaim the truth during those holiday seasons.  I just didn't have the ability or the energy to do it.   So, that's what's been so fun about creating these—is now I'm in a season in my life where I don't have the kids at home 24/7, and I've got the energy and the time to take that longing that I had as mom, to lead our family in meaningful times together, when we're naturally together anyway—for Dennis and I together to provide that instruction for our children, and I'm excited about being able to create resources for families around the annual holidays that we all celebrate.   Bob:  You have some resources that we're going to be talking more about as we get closer to Easter and toward Lent—things you've developed for that.  But again, the goal is “Let's not just let the culture capture the holidays”— Barbara:  Exactly.   Bob:  —“let's remember what they're all about in the first place,” right?   Barbara:  Exactly.   Dennis:  I'll tell you what I'm excited about: Papa is going to have all seven of these ornaments— Bob:  That would be you, right?   Dennis:  That would be me.   Bob:  Papa for those who don't know— Dennis:  Papa of—and if you've not heard a recent broadcast we now have— Bob:  Get out your scorecard, ladies and gentlemen.   Dennis:  This is going to stun some of our listeners, thinking our kids are rabbits; but we have 19 grandchildren—19 grandchildren.  (Laughter)  I mean unbelievable.   But Papa's going to pull out Barbara's set of the seven Christmas names of Christ; and I'm going to have fun with my grandkids—both pulling them out of the box and hanging them; but also reading what each name means—have a little discussion with the kids because our grandkids, some of them, are getting up there where they can get it.   But even two-year-olds, as Barbara said, they're going to listen; and they're going to sit still because these Adorenaments are shiny, they've got glitter on them, and they won't break.  (Laughter)   Bob:  You know I mentioned that our listeners can go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com, to see all seven names laid out: Jesus Christ the Lord, Emmanuel, Mighty God, Wonderful Counselor, Savior, Prince of Peace.  If they are interested in individual ornaments or if they'd like the entire seven-ornament set, they can order them from us at FamilyLifeToday.com.  Again, the website is FamilyLifeToday.com.  You can order your Adorenaments from us online; or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY.  If you have any questions or you'd like to order over the phone, 1-800-358-6329—1-800- “F” as in family, “L” as in life, and then, the word, “TODAY”.   Now, I also want to mention how grateful we are for those of you who help support the ministry of FamilyLife Today.  This broadcast ministry, on air, on the web, the events that we host, the resources we develop—all of this happens because folks like you believe in what we're doing; and from time to time, you get in touch with us and let us know that God has used this program in your life.  If that is the case for you, would you consider making a donation today?   You can go to FamilyLifeToday.com to make an online donation; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to make a donation over the phone.  And if you make a donation between now and the end of the month, feel free to request a two-CD set that we've put together—conversation with Nancy Leigh DeMoss on the subject of gratitude: How can we cultivate a spirit of gratitude in our own hearts and how can we help our children learn to be more grateful as well?   We talk about that in the CD set, and those CDs are another way we can say thank you to you for your support of the ministry of FamilyLife Today.  We really do appreciate you.   We hope you'll join us back again tomorrow when we're going to continue talking about decking the halls, not with boughs of holly, but with the names of Jesus.  We'll talk about that tomorrow.  I hope you can tune in.   I want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.  On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.  We will see you back next time for another edition of FamilyLife Today.   FamilyLife Today is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.  Help for today.  Hope for tomorrow.  Copyright © FamilyLife.  All rights reserved.www.FamilyLife.com    

Click Here to Listen to the other parts in the seriesRebooting Christmas (Part 1) - A Christ-Focused ChristmasRebooting Christmas (Part 2) - Jesus, The Reason We CelebrateFamilyLife Today® Radio Transcript  References to conferences, resources, or other special promotions may be obsolete. Jesus: the Reason We Celebrate Guest:                         Barbara Rainey                    From the series:       Rebooting Christmas (Day 2 of 2)Air date:                     November 27, 2012   Bob:  Are we getting Christmas right?  Barbara Rainey says, “Maybe not.”   Barbara:  So many people, even if they don't know Christ, they do know that something is not right with the way we celebrate Christmas; they do know that the commercialism and the focus on all the stuff is wrong; they know it's too much; and they don't know why, and they don't know what it is.  So I think that it would be very easy to approach a neighbor and say, “We're really trying, in our family, to make the focus of Christmas about what it's all about.”    I think people will get it even if they don't totally understand it; because I think we all know that it's—the whole system is not quite right.   Bob:  This is FamilyLife Today for Tuesday, November 27th.  Our host is the President of FamilyLife®, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.  The Bible says the heavens declare the glory of God.  What if your Christmas tree did the same thing?  We'll talk about that today.   And welcome to FamilyLife Today.  Thanks for joining us on the Tuesday edition.  I almost didn't expect to see you here today.  I thought your wife, Barbara, would be here again, as she is; but I thought maybe you'd still be home unpacking boxes.   Dennis:  Pulling boxes out of the attic, all the ornaments, all the Christmas trappings.   Bob:  ‘Tis the week to decorate the house. Dennis:  Yes, it is.   Barbara:  Yes, except that he doesn't unpack the boxes; he merely carries them into the house.   Bob:  And then goes and turns on the game.   Dennis:  No, no, that's not true.  (Laughter)  We used to have—we used to have some kids to help her; but now, it's just us.  We have— Bob:  Now, it's the old mule.  (Laughter)  Get the old mule out.   Dennis:  As my mom used to say, “The old gray mare, she ain't what she used to be.”  (Laughter)  But it is a fun time of the year, and all these trappings of Christmas all carry meaning with them; and that's really what we wanted to talk with listeners about today—is the meaning of Christmas and helping you truly celebrate the reason for the season.   Bob:  One of the reasons that Barbara is here with us is because of some work she's been doing over the last several months on developing resources for families to use at Christmas.  I'm wondering, looking at some of these resources—our listeners know that Thanksgiving has always been your favorite holiday.  I'm just wondering if Christmas is starting to edge in on the competition here.   Barbara:  Well, I wouldn't say it's edging in on the competition as far as the experience.  I still love Thanksgiving because our family is usually around; but I love Christmas because—all of us love Christmas.  I loved Christmas as a child and couldn't wait for Christmas, as a child growing up.   I remember—the interesting memory that I have, or one of the interesting memories that I have as a child, is I remember watching friends of mine who were Catholic who would go to Midnight Mass on Christmas Eve; and I used to think, “What do they do?  What are they learning?  What are they hearing?  What am I missing out on?”—because there was something that said to me, “That was meaningful,” and I wanted something meaningful in our Christmas celebration.   We didn't do a lot as a family, and we didn't talk about it a lot.  I remember as a kid longing for that.  I knew there was more to the Christmas celebration that we had in my house growing up as a child than there was.  I mean I kept looking at these other people thinking, “What am I missing?  What else should there be?”   Bob:  It's interesting as you mention that.  I'm thinking back to Christmas as a child where the focus of Christmas on Jesus really only came through in carols we sang or heard on the stereo— Dennis:  Yes, right.   Bob:  —or what might get talked about in church.   Barbara:  Exactly.   Bob:   Other than that, it was mostly presents—that was what I was locked in on— Barbara:  Yes, me too.   Bob:  —or decorations or activities or parties—whatever was going on.  I don't remember a whole lot of spiritual focus in our house growing up.  Was there much in yours?  Dennis:  Not a lot.  In fact, one of the highlights of our Christmas was—and some of our listeners will find this kind of odd—but we used to wrap joke packages.   My mom and I would go upstairs to kind of Santa's workshop.  And on Christmas Eve, my mom and I would get so tickled, we would have tears streaming down our faces at these really dumb gifts that we were wrapping for various members of the family that we would put under the tree.  We would not put a “To: Gary,” my brother, “From: Dennis”.  It wouldn't have any from.  It would say, “From: Santa.”   It was just having fun, but I longed—just like Barbara was talking about—I really longed for those more spiritual moments that you would see sometimes in the movies that surrounded Christmas that did have the carols, the Christmas carols that were being sung about Christ. I know when we became parents, one of the things that we talked a great deal about was how could we as a mom and dad with our six children make Christmas focused upon the birthday celebration of the King of kings and Lord of lords, how God became flesh and dwelt among us.  I'd have to say, Bob, I would give Barbara and me probably a C-minus, maybe a D-plus.  We just didn't find a lot of good ways to do that.   One of the things we had was a nativity set made of olive wood that I had gotten as a single man when I went to Israel back in 1971.  Now, we had that, and the kids would get the baby Jesus out and put Him in the manager on Christmas Eve; but we didn't really have a great way of celebrating the true meaning of Christmas with our kids—and really as a result, didn't do a good job of leading them spiritually around the real meaning of Christmas.   Bob:  Barbara, in volleyball terms, holidays are kind of a set to the spike.  It's like the calendar gives you an opportunity— Barbara:  It does.   Bob:  —as a parent to do something more comfortably than you might otherwise do it—to talk about the birth of Jesus, to talk about His death, burial, and resurrection around Easter.  And Deuteronomy 6 is a clear call to parents to take those naturally-occurring moments in our lives and in our days to engage with our kids around spiritual issues.   Barbara:  Exactly, and I think that this passage in Deuteronomy is a good reminder to all of us as parents, or as grandparents for that matter, that we've all been commanded to teach.  All of us as believers, men and women, we've all been commanded to teach.  It says in there, Moses commanded the people— “These words that I command you today shall be on your heart.”   So, the first place that the truth of Scripture needs to reside is in our hearts.  It starts with us as individuals.  So, moms and dads need to know what they believe, and they need to embrace that faith and that truth of Scripture; but then, he says, “You shall teach them diligently to your children.”  So, it starts with us.  We're the first place where the truth has to reside.  Then, we take that truth, and we teach it to our children.   The problem is most of us as parents don't know how to do that.  We don't know how to take what we believe and what we know and transfer it to our children; but that's the instruction we've been given.  We are to diligently teach our children.   Then it goes on to say, “And you shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up.”  So, in other words, constantly—in and out of the house, as you go, as you are up awake, and as you're lying down to go to sleep.  It's supposed to be a part of the fiber of your life as a family.   For most of us, one of the opportunities that we have to do that is holidays because holidays are a fiber, an important thread, through all of our lives year after year after year.   Let me finish really quickly the other portion of this verse that I think is really helpful.  It says, in verse 8, “You shall bind them as a sign in your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes.”  Then, in verse 9, it says, “You shall write them on the doorpost of your house and on your gates.”   So, if you think about these verses, there is a progression from my heart as a mom, my husband's heart as a dad—it starts with us.  Then, we teach it to our children, and we talk about it in our houses.  Then, we put it on our doorposts.  The doorpost is the doorframe around the front door or the back door of your house.  Then, you put it on your gate.   So, there is a progression from me to my kids in my house—the doorpost around my house and the gate that surrounds my house.  So God wants us to take the truth that we own and we possess and we believe and teach it, but also to proclaim it.  We talk a lot at FamilyLife about knowing the truth and experiencing it and applying it, but also proclaiming it.   One of the things that I have a real passion to do is help moms and dads not only teach the truth to their children, but give them ways that they can practically proclaim that truth to their neighbors and their friends and people who come and go in and out of that front door, or in and out of that gate—there will be messages of faith to those who come into your house and go out of your house.   Bob:  We've already talked this week about a new resource that you've developed for Christmas, a new set of Christmas tree ornaments.  We call them Adorenaments® that take seven Christmas names of Jesus, and they are stamped in metal to be hung and displayed on a Christmas tree.   As you're talking about the frontlets of your house and the door-gate, I guess you could hang some of these out there if you wanted to as well; but you could also use these ornaments as gifts to give to neighbors, to teachers, to folks. Barbara:  Exactly.   Bob:  I mean, at Christmastime, we're always looking for some way to meaningfully bless people around us.  These ornaments could be a great way to do that.   Barbara:  Exactly.  It's one of the reasons we've packaged them individually as well as in a set of seven because all of us have people that we want to give something to at Christmas; and most of us who are believers want to give something meaningful.  So, we have individually packaged names of Christ that you can give to a teacher, that you can give to the postman, that you can give to a neighbor.    Let's face it: Most people are more open to hearing the truth about Jesus at Christmas than any other time of the year.  I mean think about it.  We walk into stores that are playing Christmas carols.  The names are on—some of the truths about Jesus are on holiday cards, greeting cards.  So, I think there's a greater receptivity around Christmas to hearing the truth about who Jesus is.   So in these Adorenaments, we're hoping that, not only will families buy them and display them on their own trees or put them on a wreath on your front door or all kinds of other ways you can use them; but that families will also buy some of the individual ones and have an opportunity to share your faith with your neighbor or with someone else by giving them one of the names of Christ.   Dennis:  It occurred to me as Barbara was creating these, Bob—because she has really, for all practical purposes been working on this project for nearly two years.  These are high-quality metal, stamped names with glitter and really a special lacquer and coating on these Adorenaments— I thought, “You're literally going to make it possible, Sweetheart, for someone to take the names of Christ next door to a neighbor and share Him with a neighbor”—perhaps, that you've been trying to think of a way, “How can I talk to my neighbor?”  Taking a plate of cookies by itself is nice and it's certainly sweet; but if you took a plate of cookies and on top of the plate of cookies— Barbara:  Exactly.   Dennis:  —you had one of these names, “Savior”, “Mighty God”, “Prince of Peace”, “Wonderful Counselor”, “Emmanuel”.  “Jesus” is one of the names—one of the Christmas names.   I just think it's going to be a fun way for a lot of people to truly share Christ this Christmas.  Then, double back, maybe before Christmas, maybe after Christmas, it might be a couple of weeks later; you might just double back and say, “What did you think of the ornament I gave you?  That's really the reason why we just celebrated Christmas.”     Our desire is to help families reach out to other family members, friends, associates at work, and make Jesus Christ relevant where they live.   Bob:  Well, even in sharing the ornament with a neighbor, I could see you saying, “You know at our house I've just had a conviction that we need to be more focused on what Christmas is really all about.  That's why I've gotten these for myself, and I thought I'd share them with you.”  That's not threatening.  That's not—you're not— Dennis:  Right.   Bob:  —pressing anything with anybody but you have the opportunity to plant a seed; and who knows how God would use that?    Barbara:  Well, and I think what you just said, Bob, is really true.  I think that so many people, even if they don't know Christ, they do know that something is not right with the way we celebrate Christmas.  They do know that the commercialism and the focus on all the parties and all the stuff is wrong.  They know it's too much.  They don't know why, and they don't know what it is.   So, I think that it would be very easy to approach a neighbor and say, “You know we're really trying to, in our family, make the focus of Christmas about what it's all about.”  I think people will get it even if they don't totally understand it, because I think we all know that it's—the whole system is not quite right.   Bob:  It's not that you can't have a party or have fun at Christmastime.   Barbara:  Exactly.  Exactly.   Bob:  It's the balance issue, and right now, we're so out of balance in one direction— Dennis:  Yes.   Bob:  —when we ought to be out of balance in the other direction.  If anything ought to be highlighted at Christmas, it's not the cookies, right?   Barbara:  Exactly, I totally agree.  That's right.   Dennis:  Well, think about it for a moment.  I was going through an airport here a couple of years ago—and I think I just about had all I could take of everybody saying it's “holidays”—“Happy holidays.”  It's not “Merry Christmas”—you know?  So, I was going through the TSA line; and wherever I would go, I would say, “Merry Christmas.”  Bob:  Kind of loud like that?  Dennis:  Kind of loud like that.  (Laughter)   Bob:  They probably pulled you aside for screening—extra screening.   Dennis:  No.  No, they didn't.  In fact, they got it.  In fact, many of the TSA agents that I went through would smile.  They kind of—it would take them a second to kind of get it.  They would say, “Well, Merry Christmas to you too, Sir.”  I think people really—I think for the most part, Bob, I think they get really weary of how the culture is trying to take the message out of one of the holiest holidays we as followers of Christ celebrate.   What we need to be doing is we need to be finding practical, simple, non-threatening ways—not sounding like we're pious or religious or shoving something down somebody's throat, but simply honor someone and say, “Here's the reason why we celebrate Christmas.  Enjoy this.  It's my gift to you.”    Bob:  Barbara, the ornaments that you've created—and folks need to see them.  They need to go to FamilyLifeToday.com if they want to see what they look like, if you want to order them.  Again, the website is FamilyLifeToday.com to get a look at all seven of these ornaments--stamped, metal names of Christ: Jesus, Emmanuel, Savior, Christ the Lord, Wonderful Counselor, Prince of Peace, and Mighty God.   They are available in a set of seven, or you can buy them as individual ornaments.  Again, you can find out more about them at FamilyLifeToday.com.  And these ornaments are—this is just one project you've been working on.  You've had the holidays in mind: Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, the Lenten season before Easter.  You're starting to think about other holidays; but what are some of the other resources you've been working on?   Barbara:  Well, currently, we have a couple of things available.  One is a wreath, and it's a gratitude-focused wreath; but it's not orange.  So, it's not Thanksgiving or fall themed.  It's actually white.  It's made out of vintage paper with Psalms and hymns of praise stamped onto each leaf with just a little tiny bit of glitter; but it's really beautiful.  It's soft, and again, it's one of those “put it on your front door”—it's a statement of your faith.  It's a reminder to be grateful.   It isn't really a seasonal item, even though we designed it with Thanksgiving and fall and our natural inclination to think about gratitude in the month of November; nonetheless, it's not so themed to that holiday that you couldn't use it all year.  So, we have that wreath available.    Then, we also have a nativity.  I know a lot of people who collect nativities, and this is a nativity that's unlike any others I've seen; but it too is not Christmas themed.  In other words, it's not red and green.  It doesn't have a lot of glitter on it; and it's an item that can be kept out all year—again, as a reminder of the birth of Christ and the centrality of that event in our lives as believers.   Bob:  Now, some people are hearing you talk about leaving a nativity scene out all year, and they just go, “Really?  You'd—where in your house would you put a nativity set that you'd leave out all year?”  Barbara:  Well, I think there are a number of places I could put this one.  This one is made out of metal.  It's just the silhouette of Mary and Joseph and Baby Jesus.  There's a donkey and a lamb.  The lamb is really sweet.  So, it's just those five pieces.   And because it's metal, I could put it on a table on my screen porch.  I might leave it up on the fireplace mantle.  I might put it on a table or on a bookshelf.  Because it's just the silhouette, you can just glance at it and see in an instant what it's all about.  We all know what the nativity looks like.   Bob:  Alright, there are pictures of this on our website, too, at FamilyLifeToday.com.   Barbara:  Exactly, yes.   Bob:  And I suppose there's a picture of the wreath— Barbara:  Yes.   Bob:  —if folks wanted to see what that looks like as well.  And you're working on stuff that we're going to be talking about for Lent and for Easter, too?   Barbara:  Correct.  We're creating a resource for families to use at Lent.  It's a six- session—kind of a family devotion for lack of a better word, where a family can get together once in the evening or at breakfast or whenever works for your family.  And there are six sort of lessons, one for each week of the six weeks leading up to Easter.  So, that's the Lent product.  And there are a lot more elements on it that we'll get into some other time.   Then, we're doing something for Easter, too.  For Holy Week, a very, very short activity to do every day for the—starting on Palm Sunday and every day leading up until Easter Sunday to help celebrate and prepare for the Resurrection of Christ.   Bob:  Are you getting any time? Are you seeing your wife at all these days?   Dennis:  You know I wish I could put in a complaint.  She works in your area, Bob.  I think I may have a talk with you.   Bob:  Talk to her boss.  (Laughter)   Dennis:  I would have to say this, though.  My wife has never been more motivated than when she was a mom.  I mean when she went after being a mom, she did it all out.  She was going to be the very finest mom in the world; and I have not seen this kind of drive and desire to really help other families in our 40 years of marriage.  She is determined to help create tools that will help moms and dads, grandmas and grandpas, be successful in passing truth about God on to the next generation.   It's such a central part of why God designed the family.  Shouldn't we use the holidays and this holiday in specific, Christmas, to be able to pass the reality and the truth of Jesus Christ on to the next generation?   Bob:  Well, and listeners, as I've said, can get a chance to look at all that Barbara has been working on when they go to FamilyLifeToday.com.  First of all, you can see the Adorenaments there; and we've got all seven of them laid out, so you can look at what they look like.  You can also get information on the other resources she is working to develop.   If you'd like to order either a set of Adorenaments or if you'd like to order individual ornaments, they're available when you go to FamilyLifeToday.com.  Order from us online at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call toll-free 1-800-358-6329.  That's 1-800- “F” as in family, “L” as in life, and then, the word, “TODAY”.  Really, I should mention that these are not available generally in Christian bookstores or anywhere else online.  You need to come to FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY.   Now, I should also mention that for many years we have made available a child-friendly nativity set called What God Wants for Christmas® that is designed to be interactive to help kids get into the act of placing Mary and Joseph and the angel and the shepherd and the wise men and the Baby Jesus in the Christmas scene.  And it helps them understand the story.   There is an accompanying poem that can be read aloud; or there is a CD that you can play, so that the kids can hear the story of Jesus' birth as they interact with this nativity scene.   [Audio from What God Wants for Christmas]   Bob:  Well, that's a sample of what's on the CD and a sample of the poem that's included with What God Wants for Christmas; and there is a mysterious box that we call “Box Number Seven” that's in the package and in that box is what God wants for Christmas.  So as you put the nativity scene together, you keep asking the question, “What is it that God wants for Christmas?”  Ultimately, the child gets to discover the real reason why Jesus was born, why He died, and why He was raised again.   If you'd like more information about What God Wants for Christmas, go to FamilyLifeToday.com; or call us toll-free at 1-800-FL-TODAY.   We celebrated Thanksgiving last week, but we should not be done with thanksgiving just because the holiday is past.  Gratitude is something that ought to be characteristic of all of us.   And recently we had an opportunity to sit down and talk with Nancy Leigh DeMoss, who has written a book called Choosing Gratitude.  We explored that subject with her, and we have two audio CDs that feature almost two hours of conversation with Nancy on this subject.  We're making those CDs available this month for those of you are able to help support the ministry of FamilyLife Today with a donation.  We are grateful for your support.   When you go online at FamilyLifeToday.com, click the button that says, “I CARE,” and make an online donation; or call us toll-free at 1-800-FL-TODAY and make a donation over the phone.  We really appreciate your partnership with us, and that's why we want to say thank you by making available these audio CDs.   You can request them online or ask for them when you make a donation by phone; and just know that we are grateful to you for your partnership with us here in the ministry of FamilyLife Today.   We hope you can join us back tomorrow.  Barbara Rainey is going to be interacting with a group of young moms about how you mold and shape the next generation.  We'll get a chance to listen in tomorrow.  I hope you can be back for that.   I want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.  On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.  We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of FamilyLife Today.   FamilyLife Today is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.  Help for today.  Hope for tomorrow. Copyright © FamilyLife.  All rights reserved.www.FamilyLife.com    

When our results are not what we want, how are we asking? We can follow very specific laws to discover how to ask and how to receive.

This week on Real Talk with Rachael we’re talking with Sharon Jaynes about her new book, “The Power of a Woman's Words: How the Words You Speak Shape the Lives of Others”. For ten years Sharon served as Vice President of Proverbs 31 Ministries and co-host for their daily radio feature. She is the author of 24 books with Harvest House, Moody Publishers, Baker Books, Multnomah Publishers, and Thomas Nelson. She has also written numerous magazine articles and devotions for publications such as Focus on the Family, Extraordinary Women, Decision, Crosswalk.com, and In Touch. Sharon is a frequent guest on radio and television programs such as Revive Our Hearts with Nancy Leigh DeMoss, Family Life Today with Dennis Rainey, and Focus on the Family. Sharon currently writes for Proverbs 31 Ministries' Encouragement for Today devotions and teaches at their She Speaks conference. We’re talking about: Sharon’s rough homelife let her see the power of words, both positive and negative. It’s important to speak life over your children. It’s better to build up children than repair adults. “Our words become the mirror in which other people see themselves.” Kids need to know that they’re liked, not just loved. Make sure to compliment your children’s character. Reject the lies that the devil tells and accept God’s truth about you. Whatever is in your heart will come out of your mouth. Don’t forget to text the phrase “RealTalkGiveaway” to the number 44222 to be entered to win giveaways from show guests and sponsors! Connect with Sharon on her website, Instagram, or Facebook. Connect with Rachael on the website, Instagram and/or Facebook.

Sharon Jaynes' passion is to encourage, and empower women to walk in courage and confidence as they grasp their true identity as a child of God and a co-heir with Christ.For ten years Sharon served as Vice President of Proverbs 31 Ministries and co-host for their daily radio feature. She is the author of 24 books with Harvest House, Moody Publishers, Baker Books, Multnomah Publishers, and Thomas Nelson. (see resource page for details). She has also written numerous maga- zine articles and devotions for publications such as Focus on the Family, Extraordinary Women, Decision, Crosswalk.com and In Touch. Sharon is a frequent guest on radio and television programs such as Revive Our Hearts with Nancy Leigh DeMoss, Family Life Today with Dennis Rainey, and Focus on the Family.Sharon currently writes for Proverbs 31 Ministries' Encouragement for Today devotions, and teaches at their She Speaks conference.Besides her own books, she has also been a contributing author in many books such as Chicken Soup for the Sports Fan’s Soul, Stories for the Teens Heart, Stories for the Man’s Heart, and the Women’s Devotional Bible. Her books have been translated into several different languages including Spanish, Portuguese, Polish, and Korean.Sharon is the co-founder of Girlfriends in God, Inc., a non-denominational ministry that crosses generational, denominational and racial boundaries to bring the Body of Christ together as believers. She, along with her ministry partners, Mary Southerland and Gwen Smith, provide daily on-line devotions read by approximately 500,000 subscribers and turn-key conferences packages.https://sharonjaynes.com/product/the-power-of-a-womans-words/For more interviews visit: www.iamrefocusedradio.comSponsors:Rockafellas Barber Shop San AntonioRico Rodriguez (Owner)www.facebook.com/Rockafellas-Barber-Shop-105026620034718/?ref=page_internal1733 BabcockSan Antonio, Texas 78229Phone: (210) 782-5188The Dear Agency specializes in helping you understand your coverage BEFORE you need it!We offer all lines of personal and commercial insurance, including Auto, Home and Life.Contact Dawn Dear at 210-507-2169 and visit us at 7529 N Loop 1604 in Live Oak, TX or farmersagent.com/ddearSupporters:Sanctuary of HopeA Place of RefugeSanctuary of Hope provides a caring and nurturing environment to single expectant mothers ages 12-22 and their children.Every Life CountsPregnant and not sure what to do? You are not alone. Learn more about how we can help you.Be a part of the inspired visionPlease consider joining efforts with the Sanctuary of Hope to help set a positive course for single young mothers and their unborn children.https://www.sohcares.org/ENGAGE! publishes the Christian Community Calendar weekly.www.facebook.com/engagesaProsperitus Solutions is headquartered on the Southwest side of San Antonio, Texas and serving the Department of Defense since 2011. Prosperitus employs more than 100 staff nationwide with footprints in over 8 states.Mission Statement: To attract and ignite talent resulting in prosperous solutions for our customers and community.Our skill-sets cover:• Medical Services• Information Technology• Logistics• Finance• Marketing• Human ResourcesWe have put together a Lean Experienced Corporate staff with one mission, to provide Exceptional Service to our customers and foster long lasting profitable partnerships with our teaming companies.www.prosperitussolutions.com/prosperitusI Am Refocused Podcast Sponsored by River City Donuts1723 Babock Rd. San Antonio, TX 78229I Am Refocused Podcast Sponsored by Bay Bay McClinton of All Sports Speed and Conditioningwww.allsportsfitness.netAll Sports Speed and Conditioning is the top sports performance training gyms in San Antonio, and has produce many collegiate and professional athletes since opening. All Sports was founded in 1997 by Bremond “Bay Bay” McClinton. All Sports is based out of the beautiful city of San Antonio, TX. Having accomplished his own career in professional sports; starting a company like All Sports was a natural transition for him. Bay Bay is a native of San Antonio, TX. His 100 meter dash in High School at Roosevelt High in San Antonio was not broken until recently. In college Bay Bay played opposite the great future hall of famer, Darrell Green. He went on to sign a professional career with the Houston Oilers, Dallas Cowboys and played 7 years in the European Leagues before returning to his home town to finish his career “San Antonio Texans”. In 2006, his company, All Sports administered the strength and conditioning program for the East vs West Shriners’s college senior bowl. In 2008-09, All Sports administered the strength and conditioning program for the Division II college Senior Cactus Bowl All Star game in Kingsville. Today All Sports Speed and Conditioning continues to train athletes to elevate their athletic performance to the next level in all sports.I Am Refocused Podcast Sponsored by D.W. Brooks Funeral Home2950 E. Houston St.San Antonio, TX 78202Email: info@dwbrooksfh.comPhone: 210-223-2045Website: dwbrooksfuneralhome.com

Sharon Jaynes' passion is to encourage, and empower women to walk in courage and confidence as they grasp their true identity as a child of God and a co-heir with Christ.For ten years Sharon served as Vice President of Proverbs 31 Ministries and co-host for their daily radio feature. She is the author of 24 books with Harvest House, Moody Publishers, Baker Books, Multnomah Publishers, and Thomas Nelson. (see resource page for details). She has also written numerous maga- zine articles and devotions for publications such as Focus on the Family, Extraordinary Women, Decision, Crosswalk.com and In Touch. Sharon is a frequent guest on radio and television programs such as Revive Our Hearts with Nancy Leigh DeMoss, Family Life Today with Dennis Rainey, and Focus on the Family.Sharon currently writes for Proverbs 31 Ministries' Encouragement for Today devotions, and teaches at their She Speaks conference.Besides her own books, she has also been a contributing author in many books such as Chicken Soup for the Sports Fan’s Soul, Stories for the Teens Heart, Stories for the Man’s Heart, and the Women’s Devotional Bible. Her books have been translated into several different languages including Spanish, Portuguese, Polish, and Korean.Sharon is the co-founder of Girlfriends in God, Inc., a non-denominational ministry that crosses generational, denominational and racial boundaries to bring the Body of Christ together as believers. She, along with her ministry partners, Mary Southerland and Gwen Smith, provide daily on-line devotions read by approximately 500,000 subscribers and turn-key conferences packages.https://sharonjaynes.com/product/the-power-of-a-womans-words/For more interviews visit: www.iamrefocusedradio.comSponsors:Rockafellas Barber Shop San AntonioRico Rodriguez (Owner)www.facebook.com/Rockafellas-Barber-Shop-105026620034718/?ref=page_internal1733 BabcockSan Antonio, Texas 78229Phone: (210) 782-5188The Dear Agency specializes in helping you understand your coverage BEFORE you need it!We offer all lines of personal and commercial insurance, including Auto, Home and Life.Contact Dawn Dear at 210-507-2169 and visit us at 7529 N Loop 1604 in Live Oak, TX or farmersagent.com/ddearSupporters:Sanctuary of HopeA Place of RefugeSanctuary of Hope provides a caring and nurturing environment to single expectant mothers ages 12-22 and their children.Every Life CountsPregnant and not sure what to do? You are not alone. Learn more about how we can help you.Be a part of the inspired visionPlease consider joining efforts with the Sanctuary of Hope to help set a positive course for single young mothers and their unborn children.https://www.sohcares.org/ENGAGE! publishes the Christian Community Calendar weekly.www.facebook.com/engagesaProsperitus Solutions is headquartered on the Southwest side of San Antonio, Texas and serving the Department of Defense since 2011. Prosperitus employs more than 100 staff nationwide with footprints in over 8 states.Mission Statement: To attract and ignite talent resulting in prosperous solutions for our customers and community.Our skill-sets cover:• Medical Services• Information Technology• Logistics• Finance• Marketing• Human ResourcesWe have put together a Lean Experienced Corporate staff with one mission, to provide Exceptional Service to our customers and foster long lasting profitable partnerships with our teaming companies.www.prosperitussolutions.com/prosperitusI Am Refocused Podcast Sponsored by River City Donuts1723 Babock Rd. San Antonio, TX 78229I Am Refocused Podcast Sponsored by Bay Bay McClinton of All Sports Speed and Conditioningwww.allsportsfitness.netAll Sports Speed and Conditioning is the top sports performance training gyms in San Antonio, and has produce many collegiate and professional athletes since opening. All Sports was founded in 1997 by Bremond “Bay Bay” McClinton. All Sports is based out of the beautiful city of San Antonio, TX. Having accomplished his own career in professional sports; starting a company like All Sports was a natural transition for him. Bay Bay is a native of San Antonio, TX. His 100 meter dash in High School at Roosevelt High in San Antonio was not broken until recently. In college Bay Bay played opposite the great future hall of famer, Darrell Green. He went on to sign a professional career with the Houston Oilers, Dallas Cowboys and played 7 years in the European Leagues before returning to his home town to finish his career “San Antonio Texans”. In 2006, his company, All Sports administered the strength and conditioning program for the East vs West Shriners’s college senior bowl. In 2008-09, All Sports administered the strength and conditioning program for the Division II college Senior Cactus Bowl All Star game in Kingsville. Today All Sports Speed and Conditioning continues to train athletes to elevate their athletic performance to the next level in all sports.I Am Refocused Podcast Sponsored by D.W. Brooks Funeral Home2950 E. Houston St.San Antonio, TX 78202Email: info@dwbrooksfh.comPhone: 210-223-2045Website: dwbrooksfuneralhome.com

Hey friends, today I'm chatting with my friend Alyse Gerbrandt. Alyse attended Millar College of the Bible for three years. She now works at a coffee shop and sees her work as a great ministry opportunity. We talk about some great books, movies, and other simple joys. Things We Talked About Today: - Lies Women Believe by Nancy Leigh Demoss https://www.amazon.ca/Lies-Women-Believe-Truth-That/dp/0802472966 - Lies Young Women Believe by Nancy Leigh Demoss https://www.amazon.ca/Lies-Young-Women-Believe-Truth/dp/080247294X - Anne of Green Gables books https://www.amazon.ca/Complete-Green-Gables-Boxed-japan/dp/0553609416 - "Anne of Green Gables" movies https://www.amazon.ca/Anne-Green-Gables-Megan-Follows/dp/B000XSKDH4/ref=sr_1_1?crid=87F5NKUZBXRN&keywords=anne+of+green+gables&qid=1586799371&s=dvd&sprefix=Anne+of+Gre%2Caps%2C258&sr=1-1 - "Anne" TV show https://www.amazon.ca/Anne-Season-1-Amybeth-McNulty/dp/B075KZDKT8 - The Great Divorce by C. S. Lewis https://www.amazon.ca/Great-Divorce-Clive-Staples-Lewis/dp/1661510884/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1586799797&sr=1-1 - The Screwtape Letters by C. S. Lewis https://www.amazon.ca/Screwtape-Letters-C-S-Lewis/dp/0060652934/ref=sr_1_1?crid=364EA9Y0U160P&keywords=screwtape+letters+cs+lewis&qid=1586799877&s=books&sprefix=Screwta%2Cstripbooks%2C200&sr=1-1 - Mere Christianity by C. S. Lewis https://www.amazon.ca/Mere-Christianity-Revised-C-S-Lewis/dp/B0851LLWDP/ref=sr_1_2?crid=3TRMRGTFG8TJH&keywords=mere+christianity+c.s.+lewis&qid=1586799940&s=books&sprefix=Mere+Ch%2Cstripbooks%2C200&sr=1-2 - Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen https://www.amazon.ca/Pride-Prejudice-Jane-Austen/dp/1535559039/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1586800255&sr=1-2 - "The 10 Second Rule" by Clare De Graaf https://www.claredegraaf.com/10-second-rule/ - "Heart" by Sleeping At Last https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E6PmCym6eF4 - Switchfoot music https://switchfoot.com/

In this final Mission-Minded Families interview on Revive Our Hearts (hosted by Nancy Leigh DeMoss - now Mrs. Nancy Wolgemuth), Ann Dunagan talks with Nancy about family stories and the importance of raising our children as arrows for God's purposes. Topics include balancing missions and motherhood, releasing our kids to God, and wholehearted surrender to the Lord. 

"I was naked and you clothed me . . . " On today's episode, we're featuring Ann Dunagan's interview with Nancy Leigh DeMoss - Now Mrs. Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth on Revive Our Hearts (part 2 of 3). The focus is encouraging Mission-Minded Families, and having a heart of compassion for orphans and the poor, highlighting the words of Jesus, "I was naked and you clothed Me..."

In this previously recorded interview with Revive Our Hearts (an international women's radio ministry hosted by Nancy Leigh DeMoss - now Mrs. Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth), Ann Dunagan shares the vision for Mission-Minded Families. This session, Part 1 of 3, is focused on "Releasing Your Children's Talents." As parents, let's remember that "Missions is not just for missionaries; God's call is for all."

A Grace Disguised (Part 1) - Jerry SittserA Grace Disguised (Part 2) - Jerry SittserA Grace Disguised (Part 3) - Jerry SittserFamilyLife Today® Radio TranscriptReferences to conferences, resources, or other special promotions may be obsolete. Walking By Faith Through Irreversible Loss Guest:                         Jerry Sittser From the series:          A Grace Disguised (Day 2 of 3)  Bob:  Jerry Sittser understands grief and loss in a profound way.   He and three of his children escaped from a car accident that took the life of his wife, his mother and one of his four children.  How long would it take for someone to recover from a loss like that?  Here's Jerry Sittser.  Jerry Sittser:  Through a long and often difficult journey I really did discover the Christian faith is true.  Grace really is available to get us through these hard stretches of life.  The ultimate message of Christianity is not self help.  It is God's help.   Bob:  This is FamilyLife Today for Tuesday, July 7th.  Our host is the President of FamilyLife Dennis Rainey and I'm Bob Lepine.  Jerry Sittser says when the landscape of life has been permanently altered God's grace is there to help you make some sense of the loss and to give you peace.   Welcome to FamilyLife Today.  Thanks for joining us.  We have been talking a lot not just this week but in recent weeks about the subject of loss.  We're trying to help listeners understand that your responses to the loss you will experience in life will help shape you and your family and your marriage and your whole life. Dennis:  It will.  In fact, our guest on today's program is really the result of losses that Barbara and I have experienced in recent days.  In fact I want to welcome Barbara to the broadcast again.   Barbara Rainey:  Thank you. Dennis:  Thanks for joining us again Sweetheart and thanks for recommending Jerry Sittser's book A Grace Disguised. Jerry I want to welcome you to our broadcast.  Welcome back. Jerry Sittser:  Thank you.  It's a privilege.  Jerry is the professor of theology at Whitworth University in Spokane Washington.  As we mentioned earlier Jerry's book was used in our family as it was recommended to Barbara by a friend.  She started reading it after our daughter Rebecca and her husband, Jake, lost their daughter Molly after only seven days.  This book really helped Barbara and me as well as Jake and Rebecca process through how the soul processes grief.   We mentioned earlier how you lost your wife, your mom and your daughter in a tragic car wreck in 1991.  That really is the genesis of this book.  I have to ask you a big picture question.  If you could summarize what you think God is up to when He allows us to experience grief what would you say?  You've experienced it on a profound level that few people will ever experience it.  What do you think He's up to in grief? Jerry Sittser:  I am not sure I can answer that question in a word.  That's a very difficult question actually.  I think over all I would say that God is in the business of reclaiming people who have turned away from Him.  He created us in His image.  He created us to be gloriously beautiful people who participate in the divine glory.  The perfect relationship that exists between Father, Son and Holy Spirit and we've turned away from that.   That divine image has been marred and made perverse.  He wants not simply to save us.  He wants to reclaim us and restore us and one of the ways that happens like it or not is through suffering.  I honestly think suffering is necessary in the Christian faith.   It happens in lots of different ways some we can choose like the suffering that comes when we deny our appetites and practice self discipline.  John Calvin called it self denial.   Sometimes that suffering is imposed upon us through some kind of loss or tragedy.   Either way we need some kind of suffering not masochistically but honestly realistic to become the holy people God wants us to be and to draw us into a vital relationship with Him.   Bob:   Grief that we experience when we go through a loss to what extent are we in…I don't want to use the word control but to what extent do we have power over that grief?  And to what extent does the grief have power over us?  Do you know what I'm asking here? Jerry Sittser:  Well, I'll start by saying this.  I don't think God causes these things as if He were some kind of divine manipulator who hovers above the ground and zaps us with cancer or divorce or job loss or loss of portfolio or loss of a loved one.  I think that is a very poor mechanistic view of the sovereignty of God.  I think God is in it.  God's sovereignty is in it.  I don't think God causes it in that kind of crude kind of way.  I will say God uses it.  God's in it in that sense.   Our choice is whether we're going to respond to the work the sanctifying work God is trying to do in our lives.  Does grief and loss have power?  Of course it does.  It can change the entire course of our lives.   But I think the greater power is the way we respond by faith to God's work in our lives.  It's a hard thing to say.  It sounds so easy and so trivial.  Oh you know God's trying to sanctify us.  I almost resist saying it because I don't what it to come across kind of cheap as if I'm quoting a Bible answer or a Bible verse and that verse is going to make everything right.  Well, God works all things out for good for those who love Him.  I mean that is a true statement.  I believe that with all my heart but I also believe that is extraordinarily hard to work out in normal life.   Bob:  There were times when I'm sure the grief had to be…I don't know if I want to say overwhelming or just so compelling that you felt powerless against it.   Jerry Sittser:  Of course.  I think any true catastrophic loss leads to that.  That's the difference between a normal loss from which you'll recover like you're high school athlete and you break your leg and lose the season.  It's a big loss and it's hard but you're going to get your leg back again and you might be able to play another season.   There's a big difference between that kind of loss though significant and the loss of a spouse or the loss of your health.  I call those irreversible losses and I'll tell you they have power.  We're fools not to acknowledge the power they have.   Barbara:  Interestingly I was with our daughter Rebecca a couple of weeks ago and she and her husband, Jacob, had renewed hope.  They had gotten pregnant with baby #2 and then at 14 weeks gestation the baby died.  She had to deliver this still born baby at 16 weeks.  Go through the labor and delivery which was traumatic in and of itself but as I was there for a week and we had many really wonderful conversations.   During that time one of the things Rebecca said to me that was really profound was we're not as fragile as we think we are.  We feel like in these really hard times that we won't survive but she said I've learned that we can handle a lot more than we think that we can handle.  Because God strengthens us to go through these things that he takes us through.   She said I'm just amazed that I can go through this and still live.  Because you feel like you won't live.  You feel like you're going to die because of the burden of the grief.  She said I've learned we are stronger than we think we are.  We aren't as fragile as people as we imagined that we would be when looking at a situation like that. Bob:  Did you feel like you weren't going to live in the days that followed your wife's death? Jerry Sittser:  No I think that maybe that's a little too extreme.  I knew somewhere deep inside my soul that God was still God.  I had to live in this dynamic tension between acknowledging the severity of the loss on all levels.  Not just intellectual but emotional.   Grief has its way.   It is corrosive.  It gets to you.  You can push it away for a month or a few months.  You can work hard.  You can develop bad habits and do whatever you want to run away but eventually it's going to get its way.  It's going to tell you that those people are gone and they are never going to come back again.  So that's one side of things.   Acknowledging the severity of the loss on the other hand also requires us to live by faith and to recognize there is a bigger story being told.  God is somehow in this even if we don't see how He is.  Even if we don't have any evidence at our immediate disposal that God is God and God is good somehow we have to believe that that is still the case.    You have to live in that tension.  If you pretend it's not severe it's like painting over mold.  You don't want to give that mold too much power either.   Recognize that you can get rid of that mold and put on fresh paint and make that wall beautiful again.  It's a very delicate process to navigate through the months and sometimes the years involved. Bob:  So you're not saying to somebody keep a stiff upper lip and deny the anguish of your soul in the midst of grief. Jerry Sittser:  I don't think so.  I don't think the Bible teaches that either.   You look at the book of Psalms and fifty percent or about 75 of them are devoted to the Psalms of lament…The anguish of the soul in the face of unanswerable questions or so it seems at the time and unimaginable loss and grief…the trail of enemies and this kind of thing.   We have a kind of emotional handbook right in the Bible that's acknowledging the severity of these kind of losses.  I think it's not wise to pretend that they don't exist or they aren't serious.  They don't have the final word.  That's what a Christian believes.  The final word is the Resurrection.   Dennis:  Jerry, you describe a scene in the mortuary where you visited the three caskets and you asked to have them opened.  You were there alone for about an hour.  You said that point ushered you into a darkness.  Describe what took place in that setting in the mortuary? Jerry Sittser:  Well, it's difficult.  You have to use images because language just fails as it does to all people who've gone through some kind of severe loss.  I felt like I was floating just in the universe and utterly cut off and alienated.  I looked around to see billions of stars.  The world seemed like a cold impersonal place.  It was really an awful experience for me.  But it also turned out to be a significant turning point for me too.   That very night or a few nights later I had a kind of waking dream.  It was a dream but it was not like a typical dream at all.  It was very vivid and real to me.  It is to this day.  In this dream I was chasing frantically after the sun that was slowly setting in the west.  I remember as I was running that there was the frantic panicked terrifying feeling.  It was as if that sun beat me to the horizon it would never come back to me again.   Finally the sun did sink below the horizon and I stopped exhausted and looked with a sense of foreboding to the darkness from the east that was sweeping over me.  Then I awoke from the dream and I felt a kind of extastential darkness.  It was if I was going to be in this darkness for the rest of my life.  It was really a terrible feeling.   I told a cousin this dream a few days later and he reminded me of a poem written by John Donne a very famous 17th century Anglican poet.  In the poem Donne says that on a flat map east and west are far removed from each other.  The farther east you go the farther removed you are from the west.  But on a globe if you go east you eventually meet west.   Then I talked to my sister about this and she said that's the cue for you Jerry.  If you keep running west to try to stay in the fiery warmth of the setting sun you will actually stay in the darkness longer.  But if you have the courage to plunge into that darkness heading east even if you're hanging by one thin thread of faith all the sooner will you come to the sunrise.  That was really a cue for me to head into darkness and let grief have its way with me assuming that I would all the sooner come to the sunrise.   Bob:  You did have a period of darkness in the days that followed.  There was depression and daily weeping.   As we sit here 18 years later talking about trusting in God in the midst of those days it was a hard journey you were on. Jerry Sittser:  It was a hard journey.  There were lots of tears and lots of tears of my kids.  Actually the hardest period was after the tears stopped.   The tears kind of turned to brine.  It became thick and bitter.  Almost like molasses.   It didn't flow quite so easily.  That was darker still.  This is hard work.  It is for anybody who goes through a severe loss.   Dennis:   Yes and watching our daughter go through this both Barbara and I as parents have felt so powerless apart from our prayers.  There really are no words to be able to share.  Our daughter found a lot of healing and help in writing a blog.  I'll never forget one of her blog entries where she described mourning the loss of her daughter and finding comfort by crawling up into the crib and weeping for the loss of her baby girl.   As those who peer in other people's lives coach us a bit on how we can keep an appropriate distance and not be trite in what we say.  What should we say and do for that person who is entering or is in the valley of the shadow of death? Jerry Sittser:   I would say presence, consistency, patience, and symbolic gestures.  I have a young friend—well, she's not so young any more—who was the accompanist to Linda's voice students when we lived in Iowa and she has sent me a long letter and card on the anniversary of the accident for 18 years recalling incidences, sharing life and expressing sympathy.  She's never too syrupy.  I find that kind of gesture profoundly meaningful.   When we aren't affected by loss in the dailyness of life it's easy to think that after two or three months people should be getting on with the business of life because we are getting on with the business of life.  But for those who are affected in a primary kind of way they are the ones who have suffered the loss and whose landscape of life is permanently altered they are living in that for a long period of time in one sense for the rest of their lives.   Now their perspective is going to change over time.  Mt. Rainier is always 14,410 feet.   It looks a lot bigger when you're a mile away than when you are 50 miles away.  The size never changes.  Our perspective can change over time admittedly so I think that dailyness, consistency, presence and those symbolic gestures are probably the best we can do.   Then simply pick up on cues.  The cues like when they are ready to talk.  Be ready to listen.  When they really feel like they are ready to receive a word then you give it but never before that.   Dennis:  Yes. Jerry Sittser:  And what you don't want to do is use words to try to somehow push the loss and its significance away.  Sometimes words can actually exacerbate the problem rather than help the problem.  I mean Job's three friends did their best work when they just shut their mouths for a week and sat with Job on that heap of ashes.   Bob:  Barbara were there people in your life or in Jake and Rebecca's lives who did some of those same things like symbolic gestures that Jerry is talking about.   Barbara:  Yes, there have been some remarkable young men and women friends of Jacob and Rebecca's who have done things that I wouldn't have thought to do.   On the very first Easter after Molly died one of their friends brought an Easter basket that was pink with pink candy and a pink bunny and bow and left it on their front porch and said Happy Easter.  It would have never occurred to me to do that but it was a powerful statement of love.  They didn't stay themselves.  They just left it there.   So there have been those kinds of things that people have thought to do and what we've noticed and learned by watching them is if you have an idea of something like that act on it.  Because so often I think we think of an idea and think well that might not be a good thing to do.   The people who have encouraged Jacob and Rebecca the most are the ones who have had the thought to write them a note or have had the thought to drop off the Easter basket.  There have been other things too that they've thought of and acted on it. Bob:  Jerry I hear Barbara's story about the Easter basket and I think to myself boy, I don't know that I'd want to do that.  It's almost like saying here's a reminder on Easter that you lost your child nine months ago… Barbara:  They know it anyway. Jerry Sittser:  As if they aren't thinking the same thing.  Are you kidding me? Barbara:  Of course they think about it. Jerry Sittser:  We did a lot of things as a family, too.  We always observe the anniversary of the accident and at key milestones we'd have dinner parties and I'd invite our key community of friends over and we'd observe it and I'd thank them.   My wife Linda would have been 60 in April and I talked to all of my kids and we kind of laughed about what it would be like for them to have a 60 year old mother.  We have been pretty mindful of these important milestones along the way even after all these years.  It's not at all bitter any more.  We have a lot of good stories that have happened in these last 18 years.  It's been very rich and meaningful for us but we still are mindful of this loss and these important dates and milestones.    Dennis:  Sometimes the grief will be expressed in a phone conversation or in person or in a letter or email where it's clear that the person is truly grieving.  At that moment they are really hurting.   Recently I received an email from our daughter and her husband just around what they were experiencing and I started weeping.  I just wept.  I thought what can I say?  I just wrote back an email that said I'm weeping with you, Dad.Jerry Sittser:  Yes.    Dennis:  I think many times in our desire to help as you just exhorted us Jerry it's back to that statement—I have regretted my speech but never my silence.  Sometimes the gift of presence and being there and letting someone know you are praying for them and you are there for them may be all that's needed in that moment.  Never underestimate the power of a human being touching another life at a point of tremendous trauma and hurt in a catastrophic loss like you experienced. Bob:  And coming alongside with a gift like a copy of Jerry's book and you can say you may not want to read this right now but at the right time I believe this book will minister to you in a profound way.   We have copies of Jerry's book called A Grace Disguised: How the Soul Grows Through Loss in our FamilyLife Today Resource Center.  We would love to send you a copy.  Go to our web site FamilyLife Today.com.  Again that's FamilyLifeToday.com.  You can order online from us if you'd like or if it's easier call 1-800-FL-TODAY.  That's 1-800-358-6329.   Let me also mention a book you have written Barbara along with your daughter Rebecca when your granddaughter Molly was born and lived for seven days before she died.  That book is called A Symphony in the Dark: Hearing God's Voice in Seasons of Grief.  You can find more information about that book on our web site as well FamilyLife Today.com.  Or call 1-800-FL-TODAY.  That's 1 800 “F”as in family “L” as in life and then the word TODAY.   We also want to take a couple of minutes and say thanks to those of you who support the ministry of FamilyLife Today by making donations on a regular basis.  We are listener supported.  The costs associated with producing and syndicating are underwritten by those of you who contact us to make a donation to keep us on the air and to support the other ministries of FamilyLife.   We do appreciate that support and in fact this month we'd like to say thank you if you're able to support the ministry with a donation of any amount.  We sat down not long ago with Nancy Leigh DeMoss the author of a number of books and the host of the daily radio program Revive Our Hearts.  We talked to her about the issue of forgiveness and what the Bible has to say about choosing to forgive.  Nancy has written a great book called Choosing Forgiveness and if you'd like to receive a CD of our conversation with her on this subject you can make a donation this month of any amount to the ministry of FamilyLife Today and simply request the CD as a thank you gift.   If you're making that donation online at FamilyLifeToday.com all you have to do is type the word “forgive” in the key code box on the donation form and we'll know to send a copy of the CD to you. Or call toll-free 1 800 FLTODAY.  Make your donation over the phone and just ask for the CD of our conversation with Nancy Leigh DeMoss.  Again we are happy to send it to you and we do appreciate your support of this ministry.  Thanks for partnering with us.   Tomorrow we'll talk about how we can be used by God to bring comfort to others as they experience loss and hope you can be with us as we continue our conversation with Jerry Sittser.I want to thank our engineer today Keith Lynch and our entire broadcast production team on behalf of our host Dennis Rainey I'm Bob Lepine.  We will see you back next time for another edition of FamilyLife Today. FamilyLife Today is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. Help for today.  Hope for tomorrow. © 2009 FamilyLife   We are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.  However, there is a cost to transcribe, create, and produce them for our website.  If you've benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider donating today to help defray the costs?   Copyright © FamilyLife.  All rights reserved. www.FamilyLife.com     

A Grace Disguised (Part 1) - Jerry SittserA Grace Disguised (Part 2) - Jerry SittserA Grace Disguised (Part 3) - Jerry SittserFamilyLife Today® Radio TranscriptReferences to conferences, resources, or other special promotions may be obsolete. Forgiveness Guest:                         Jerry SittserFrom the series:          A Grace Disguised  (Day 3 of 3) Bob:   Proverbs 25:11 says, “A Word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver.” When someone has experienced loss we need to be careful that our words are fitly spoken.  Here's Jerry Sittser… Jerry:  Sometimes words can actually exacerbate the problem rather than help the problem.  I mean, Job's three friends did their best work when they just shut their mouths for a week and sat with Job on that heap of ashes.  The cue is, when they're ready to talk, then you're ready to listen. When they really feel like they are ready to receive a word, then you give it, but never before that.  And what you don't want to do is use words to try to somehow push the loss and its significance away. Bob:  This is FamilyLife Today for Wednesday, July 8th.  Our host is the President of FamilyLife Dennis Rainey and I'm Bob Lepine.   We'll here today how God shows up in the midst of loss.  And about how we can show up, too.   And welcome to FamilyLife Today and thanks for joining us.  Just as I was walking in here, I got an email from our mutual friend, Dr. Michael Easley, who is the pastor at Fellowship Bible Church in Franklin, TN, and Michael sent me a prayer that he had written to send to a couple who had experienced the loss of a child a year ago today.  The child had lived two months and unexpectedly died.  And Michael wrote this prayer for them.   He said, I pray for you today that your memories will be sweet, that your hearts will be calmed, that you will find a non-anxious presence.  That you will choose to trust and see good when there is nothing for sure, that you will grieve, but not as those who have no hope, that you will find comfort and mercy in places others may never know.   That your “why” questions will be replaced with a confidence in knowing that, He knows, and that's enough.  We love you and ask Him to pour mercy, kindness and hope into your hearts.  He does indeed know you and love you no matter what your experience may try to tell you. Dennis:  Bob, you know as I listen to those words, I think, how many people listening to this broadcast right now have experienced loss, some kind of major loss in their lives, in the past 5 to 10 years.   As I said earlier, if you live long enough, you will experience loss.  In fact, life is really made up of a lot of losses as we lose our childhood, and move into adulthood.  Some of those losses look good at the time but some of the losses aren't easily figured out, in fact, some are never figured out on this side of heaven.  We've had a guest with us, Dr. Jerry Sittser who has helped us better understand the process of grieving through his book, A Grace Disguised. Welcome back. Jerry:  Thank you, it's good to be here. Dennis:  I mentioned earlier, that Barbara had recommended this book to me after our daughter, Rebecca and her husband Jake, experienced the loss of their daughter after seven days of life.  And Barbara joins us on the broadcast as well.   Sweetie, welcome. Barbara:  Thank you, glad to be here. Dennis:  In fact, I hadn't asked you this question, sweetheart.  As you read this book, what was it about Jerry's book that most ministered to you, and why have you recommended it to so many people? Barbara:  Well, I wish I had my copy in front of me, I tried to find it this morning, and I can't find where I set that thing.  But at any rate it's all underlined and marked, and page corners turned back.   And one of the things I remember most vividly is early in the first few chapters, Jerry, you talk about how loss is loss and that it doesn't do any good to compare losses, and to say that this loss is worse than that loss.  Because loss brings grief and it brings pain and that grief and that pain is real and it needs to be experienced.  It is what it is.  To try to explain it or measure it and say it's not really that bad or it's worse than this, doesn't really make any difference in the long run.  I think we are so prone to wanting to measure and figure these things out.   The other piece I remember real vividly is a later chapter in the book, it talks about how our identity is changed by grief and loss and how so much of who we are is wrapped up in our identity with that thing or that person or that ability we have lost.  Whether it's a divorce or a death, or whether it's losing the ability through physical illness and how that personal identity is transformed through the process of loss and grief.  I thought that was really helpful and profound. Jerry:  I call that the amputation of the familiar self. Barbara:  That's what it was, yes. Jerry:  It's extraordinarily hard, because we are really defined by our location, our relationships, our work, these things provide sources of identity and when one of those is lopped off, it requires a pretty long and significant period of adjustment to figure out who you are in the wake of the loss of that thing, when that thing defined you to some degree.   We have these phantom pains, you know.  Phantom pains are the leg telling you it's still there when you look down and it's not there anymore.  That's what an amputation does and we will go through a long period of time when we feel those phantom pains of still feeling like we are this person, we belong to this person, we do this particular line of work and this kind of thing, even though we don't anymore. Bob:  How long was it for you in the weeks that followed the car accident where your wife and your daughter and your mother all were killed?  For how many months did you have this kind of reflexive phantom impulse to say, oh, I ought to call her and share this with her and then realize she's not there? Jerry:  Well, for a long time.  Reflexive is the right word, too.   It is like a reflex, where it's programmed in you, so automatic.  When after twenty years, when you call your spouse once or twice  a day just to check in, “Hi, honey, how's it going and what are you doing, what are the kids doing, or how's work going,” that sort of thing.  You can't help but have your mind go there; just automatically, it happens a long time.  I would say after those months even though it wasn't as reflexive as it once was, it still was an impulse in me.   And to tell you the truth, Bob, it still is, after 18 years.  Now, I don't say that in despairing or bitter kind of way.  I still think about those people every day.  There's not a day that goes by, I don't.  And I don't think that's a bad thing.  I don't like words like recovery; I think that gives us a kind of vain expectation as if we can get back to something we had before.   Dennis:  Some months before our granddaughter, Molly, died, I received an email from the gentleman who heads up FamilyLife in New Zealand.  His name is Andy Bray, he and his wife Nikki have given leadership to FamilyLife there for more than a dozen years.  Their daughter who was 15 or 16 years of age, at the time, was killed in a tragic flood in New Zealand along with 5 or 6 other young people who were all first class Christian leaders.   It was a reward trip for these young people, and I received that email some months before Molly's death.  And I have to tell you that in those seven days of Molly's life, I kept thinking, that has to be harder, a harder thing to bear, to have had a relationship with your daughter for 16 years and now, to say goodbye.   I mean it's one thing for my daughter and son-in-law to have a relationship for seven days and say goodbye, and the more I tried to work this equation out in my mind, I came to the conclusion that it was futility.  It was a waste of time.  Am I wrong? Jerry:  No, you are right.  Comparing loss is vain.  It's like comparing headaches; I mean people will describe their headaches in lots of different ways.  Well, how are you going to determine which one is worse?  I mean it's silly in the first place.   I put it this way; all losses are bad, just bad in different ways.  How can you compare say the loss of a spouse to death and the loss of a spouse to divorce?  How can you compare the loss of a child to death or say the loss of a child to waywardness, they are both bad.  And they stand on their own and we need to treat them as unique and sacred in and of themselves.   I tell you that was one of the reasons why I hesitated to write this book.  My story is kind of sensational in a way, I mean this big event and three people are killed in this drunken driving accident. Everybody sort of gasps and I became almost an instant celebrity in Spokane overnight and I didn't like that.  And the reason why I didn't like that was because I was so profoundly aware of other kinds of losses that were as severe  as mine, just different, and maybe not visible and maybe not as prone to receive sympathy from other people.  Let me give you an example, some guy came up to me a couple of years after the accident and said I've resented you for two years.  And I said, “why, I hardly know you”, and he said, “your tragedy turned you into a hero, my tragedy has only brought more pain.  My wife left me for another woman,” he said, “and I've had to deal with catastrophic consequences, but I'm nobody's hero.”   That was very sobering for me to hear, it wasn't very nice for him to say, but it was very sobering for me to hear, recognizing that there are lots of losses that do not receive very much public attention.   If they do, it's not with sympathy.  I hesitated to write the book and when I decided to write it, I inserted Chapter Two:  Whose Loss is Worse, just to protect myself from being made some kind of false celebrity because of my loss.  There are lots of ways to suffer, lots of ways to experience pain, and mine is only one.  And there are lots of things I don't know, I don't know what it means to experience, let's say the long term effects of terminal illness or injuries from which a person cannot recover.   Bob:  You know, it was interesting, Barbara, to hear you reflect back on what had an impact on you as you read Jerry's book.  I asked Maryann last night, the same question.  I said what was most impactful as you read the book, and she said probably the chapter on forgiveness.   I thought it's interesting, I don't know that we make a connection between grief and loss and forgiveness, but you see those as being intimately tied together, don't you? Jerry:  I do, and I titled that chapter:  Forgive and Remember, instead of forgive and forget.  I don't think it's possible and I don't think it's healthy to forget anything.  But I think forgiveness can change the way we remember things.   Especially when we've had pain inflicted to us, spouses betrayed us, somebody's done some violent act, say raped us or something like that, or someone has embezzled money and that destroyed our business.  There are lots of ways we suffer loss when the results are catastrophic and somebody willed to do harm to us, directly or indirectly. Bob:  In your case, it was a drunk driver who swerved across the road, right? Jerry:  And smashed into us.  Now he didn't intend to do that, his harm was not malicious in the sense that he was out to kill three members of my family.  But his irresponsible decisions did lead to that and required me to forgive. Bob:  What did you have to go through to get to forgiveness? Jerry:  I think there were two phases to it; the more immediate and obvious one was the trial when the drunken driver was acquitted on a technicality and he walked away.  That only added kind of a bitter cast to an already difficult journey in forgiving somebody who had had such a significant impact on my life.  I learned in the process that forgiveness is not a singular act, it's a process you go through.  And I think the most significant decision we make, is to say, we want to forgive.  Not that we forgive at the time, but we want to go through the process where forgiveness begins to take place.  And we get to the point where we can wish the person well and pray for them. Bob:  You have heard some amazing, well; you've gotten some amazing feedback to the book.  Letters, you were saying earlier, not a week goes by that you don't hear from someone who God has used your story and your book profoundly in their lives.   Jerry:  Yes, but it's a strange thing, there's a kind of an otherness to this book.  I actually brought it with me.  I've reread it once since I wrote it and that was when the new edition came out about five years ago, about the only time I ever cracked it.   I skimmed it a little bit yesterday and it was a strange experience, because it's almost as if I didn't write it, it has a quality of otherness to it.   As if it's not quite mine, I think the closest it would come would be the way that parents feel about their children.  Is that those children are so much a part of you but when you look at them and get to know them you realize they're so other than you, too.  And that's how I feel about this book.  Dennis:  You did tell a story before we came in the studio of a letter you have received from a woman who had a brother who was murdered.   Jerry:  And this was after 28 years.  And through those 28 years of suffering she described it as being very harsh, very hard.  She feels like she lost her mother permanently in the wake of her brother's murder and this sort of thing.   She decided that she needed to forgive the murderer of her brother, so she did research, found out where he was in the prison system and asked if she could have permission to visit him.  He sort of coldly gave her permission, and so she went to see him and God gave her two words, on the ride to see him, and these are very powerful to me. The first is, you're never beyond the reach of the grace of God, and the second is you can always become the man God wants you to be, even if you're in prison.  And she met this man, forgave him, he broke down and sobbed, came to know the Lord and their relationship continues to this day.   That's a powerful example of forgiveness, but it's a little troubling to me too, because it doesn't always happen quite that easily.  Sometimes it is a process.  It's a journey and you have to go through phases of forgiveness to get to the point where you can really wish the person well and trust them to the good hand of God and pray for them Dennis:  Your story and just what you said reminds me of Romans 12: 18, and these are powerful in my life because there's a person I've had to forgive, more than one obviously over my lifetime, but one where this is very real to me.  “If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.  Beloved never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God for it is written, vengeance is mine, I will repay says the Lord.”   It's interesting, Jerry, as I have very imperfectly attempted to be obedient to that passage and have prayed for not only to be able to forgive and to be at peace.  As I thought about the wrath of God I've prayed for that person to be delivered from the wrath of God, because I know what that means.  It potentially could mean an eternity separated from God.   Jerry:  Oh, what a terrible burden a person has to bear for wrongdoing.   I would always choose to be the victim of wrongdoing, than to be the perpetrator of wrongdoing.   Early on that came to me, by the way, is I thought about what it would mean for me to change positions.  And I didn't want that at all.  You know, ironically, we like to claim justice.  We really want, we think we want to live in a fair world, but I'm not sure we want the world to be fair.  On the one hand maybe some bad things wouldn't happen to us that have happened to us over the years.   But grace isn't fair either and I'd rather live in a world that is unfair, knowing that I am going to take some hits along the way, as I have, and will continue to experience if I know that grace is available to me too, because  the unfairest thing in the world is grace.   I think about our Lord who had to wear a crown of thorns, the only one in all of human history who was not deserving of that crown of thorns, so that we could wear a crown of honor.  Dennis:  Hmm, what a picture Jerry:  There is no fairness in that at all. Dennis:  And the reality of that is that it all occurred through suffering.  Jerry:  It all occurred through suffering.  In fact, that is the answer to the problem of evil.  This is where the Christian answer to evil is so paradoxical and so glorious and beautiful.   The Bible's answer to suffering, is suffering, the suffering of God in human flesh.  God chooses out of his pure love for fallen humanity, to actually enter into the world.  And instead of entering it with a glorious birth, announced and heralded by sounding trumpets, he was born into a pathetic stable.  He grows up in obscurity.  He is a carpenter's son, he never gets a first rate education.  He didn't really get an education at all, except in the synagogue. He has a three year ministry, and then he suffers death on a cross.  We are talking about God doing this.  This is the Bible's answer to suffering, God's suffering and then the triumph in the resurrection. Dennis:  The apostle Peter says this about that suffering of Christ, “Beloved do not be surprised at the fiery trial which comes upon you  to test you as though something strange were happening, but rejoice, in so far as you share in Christ's sufferings, that you may be able to rejoice and be glad when His glory is revealed.” Jerry:  And Paul writes, “More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope.”  This is one of the strange things that's occurred in our own experience, is a rejoicing in the experience. Not because we're glad it happened, we'll never be that, bad is always bad, but because of what's come as a result. Bob:  You are talking about what is come in your own life, your own experience of God's grace in the midst of all of this.  But also, what has come through you in the book that you have written, A Grace Disguised:  How the Soul Grows through Loss.  God has used powerfully in the lives of folks sitting around this table and tens of thousands, hundreds of thousands of folks who have read the book.  And God's used it in a great way to minister to them in their own sense of grief and loss.  Jerry:  But I will say, that no book, however, well read or however life-changing will ever justify, explain or excuse the pain that was visited upon us.  These are separate things altogether.  I don't like it when people sort of explain something because of the good outcome.  Joseph really gave us the right formula here, you meant it for evil, God worked it out for good, but the evil was still evil. Bob:  Yes, that's right and we don't want to do anything to try to minimize the reality of that, but in the comfort you've received from God you have been able to be faithful to do what 2 Corinthians 1 says, to comfort others with the comfort you've received.  And you do that through your book and we want to encourage listeners who are in the midst of a season of suffering or a season of loss to get a copy of the book, A Grace Disguised: How a Soul Grows Through Loss.  You can find out more about it online at FamilyLifeToday.com.   While you are on our web site you will also see information about Barbara Rainey's new book written with your daughter Rebecca Mutz.  It tells the story of the life, the short life, of your granddaughter Molly, who was born a year ago at this time and lived for seven days.   The book is called A Symphony in the Dark:  Hearing God's Voice in Seasons of Grief, and we do have copies of that book in our FamilyLife Today Resource Center as well.  You can get more information about it online at FamilyLifeToday.com or call toll free, 1-800 FLTODAY, 1-800-358-6329.  Someone on our team will let you know how you can get either or both of these books sent to you.   We also want to be quick today to say thank you so much to those of you who help underwrite the syndication and production costs of this program, to make it possible for the program to be heard on this station and on our network of stations all across the country.  Our listeners and especially those of you who can help support this program financially, you make it possible for this program to continue and we appreciate you so much.   This month if you are able to make a donation of any amount to help support the ministry of FamilyLife Today, we'd like to say thank you by sending you a CD that features a conversation  we had not long ago with Nancy Leigh DeMoss, the author and the speaker on the daily radio program Revive our Hearts.   Nancy has written a book called Choosing Forgiveness and we wanted to explore what the Bible teaches about the subject of forgiveness with her.  That conversation is available as our way of saying thank you this month when you do make a donation to support the ministry of FamilyLife Today.   If your donation is online, you'll see a key code box on the donation form as you fill it out online.  Type the word “forgive” in the box and we'll send you the CD, or if you call 1-800-FLTODAY you can make your donation by phone and just mention that you would like the CD and we are happy to send it to you.  And again we appreciate you so much for partnering with us, here at the ministry of FamilyLife Today.   Tomorrow we are going to talk with a young woman who lives in NYC, about a different kind of loss than we have talked about already this week.   We are going to talk about being young and single, and wishing you were married, and dealing with the sense of loss that comes with that.  Carolyn Leutwiler is going to join us tomorrow, hope you can be back with us as well.   I want to thank our engineer today Keith Lynch and our entire broadcast production team on behalf of our host Dennis Rainey I'm Bob Lepine.  We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of FamilyLife Today. FamilyLife Today is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock Arkansas Help for today.  Hope for tomorrow. © 2009 FamilyLife   We are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.  However, there is a cost to transcribe, create, and produce them for our website.  If you've benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider donating today to help defray the costs?   Copyright © FamilyLife.  All rights reserved. www.FamilyLife.com     

A Grace Disguised (Part 1) - Jerry SittserA Grace Disguised (Part 2) - Jerry SittserA Grace Disguised (Part 3) - Jerry SittserFamilyLife Today® Radio TranscriptReferences to conferences, resources, or other special promotions may be obsolete. Descending Into the Valley Guest:                         Jerry Sittser From the series:          A Grace Disguised  (Day 1 of 3)  Bob:  There are times in the midst of trials and traumas of life when we wonder to ourselves where is God?  Why did He let this happen?   For Jerry Sittser one of those events occurred in 1991 when he and his wife and their four children and Jerry's mother were hit head on by a vehicle traveling at 85 miles per hour.  The collision was fatal for Jerry's wife and for his mom and for one of his four children.  As Jerry reflects back on that event today he sees it as something that was ultimately faith affirming.   Jerry Sittser:  Through a long and often difficult journey I really did discover the Christian faith is true.  Grace really is available to get us through these hard stretches of life.  The ultimate message of Christianity is not self help it is God's help.   Bob:  This is FamilyLife Today for Monday July 6th.  Our host is the President of FamilyLife Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.  We'll hear today how a tragic car accident can be a grace disguised.   Welcome to FamilyLife Today.  Thanks for joining us.  You and I were having a conversation not long ago with Dr. Al Moeller, the President of Southern Seminary and we asked him about questions he gets thrown by the secular media.  We said the tough questions are the ones they ask you.  What are the ones that put you on the spot?  Without even thinking he said we always come back to the issue of the problem of evil and suffering.  How can there be a good God when there is suffering in the world?   Dennis:  We don't always know what God is up to.  He is God and we are not.  We have a guest with us today on FamilyLife Today that I think is going to minister to a lot of our listeners.  Actually I was introduced to this guest by my wife Barbara, who joins us on FamilyLife Today as well.  Welcome Sweetie. Barbara Rainey:  Thanks.  I'm glad to be here. Dennis:  Jerry Sittser has written this book A Grace Disguised which is a story out of his own life and it occurred a number of years ago.  Jerry lives in Spokane Washington up in the eastern section of that great state.  He is a professor of theology at Whitworth University and has a Masters of Divinity from Fuller Theological Seminary and has his doctorate in history from the University of Chicago.  This leaves me with only one question Jerry, White Sox or Cubs? (laughter)Bob:  Or were you there long enough to even care? Dennis:  Oh he had to be if he had his PHD.   Jerry Sittser:  Dodgers! (laughter) Dennis:  Well, I do welcome you to the broadcast and I am grateful for you writing this book, A Grace Disguised.  I want Barbara to share with our listeners to help put in context out of which she gave me Jerry's book.  Bob:  Was this something somebody gave you as a gift?   Barbara:  It was a book that someone had recommended to me a number of years ago.  I bought it and started reading it and it was in my library.  But I didn't finish the book until last summer after our granddaughter Molly was born and only lived seven days and then died. As we began to try to make sense of what God had done and what He was up to I pulled that book off the shelf.  This time I had a real heart for it.  I needed it.  I read it all the way through and I was constantly underlining and reading portions of it to Dennis and saying “listen to what this says.”   I bought several copies and gave one to a couple of my daughters.  I gave one to Molly's mother, Rebecca, and a couple of our other daughters, too.  I said you need to have this in your library and if you don't read it all the way through right now you will read it eventually. Dennis:  It is really a love story of sorts that started when you met your wife Linda.  How did you meet her, Jerry? Jerry Sittser:  I was a student at Hope College and she was a student at Hope College in Holland, Michigan.  After I experienced a conversion between my sophomore and junior year we became very good friends.  Really best friends.  One day I was standing in a group of people and somebody got my attention from maybe 100 yards away and I turned and said something to them I'm sure.  I was a little cocky back then.   (laughter) Linda was in that circle and I turned back and our eyes met and that was it right there.  I just fell in love on the spot.    Dennis:  You were smitten. Jerry Sittser:  Oh, my goodness was I smitten. Bob:  But you'd known her for months before this?Jerry Sittser:  We were very good friends, yes. Bob:  So what in that moment you don't know? Jerry Sittser:  I don't know but our eyes met and it was just different.  So I asked her out a few days later and we were married eight months later.   Dennis:  No, no, no.  I want to know how you asked her to marry you because it has to be a great story. Jerry Sittser:  Well, we went up to some property that my family owned off the Grand River up in the hills.  We made a day of it and did some hiking and I had hidden a family heirloom a little silver container with the engagement ring inside it.  That also was the family stone.  I asked her to marry me.   Dennis:  You were married for 20 years.   Jerry Sittser:  Twenty years—just shy of 20 years and we had four children.   Dennis:  She was a homeschooler and she enjoyed teaching your kids.  Taking them on field trips, right? Jerry Sittser:  She was a multitalented woman.  She was very bright.  She was a professional musician and singer.  She was the choir director and the director of the professional children's choir in Spokane and a paid soloist at our home church and also a homeschooler.  Dennis:  You were on a field trip where you went to Idaho and it was not a normal field trip that you would think of when you think of homeschoolers.   Jerry Sittser:  She had just completed a unit on Native American cultures to my two oldest who were being homeschooled at the time.  We went on a field trip to a Native American powwow.  We had dinner with the tribal leaders and had a wonderful time and wonderful conversation.   Ironically one of the topics that came up was the curse of alcoholism in the tribe and the violence that often resulted from it.  They spoke with great pain over that.  These were really wonderful people.  Some fine Christian people.    After the dinner with them we went to the powwow and enjoyed it.  My two daughters who were then eight and four actually went out and danced with the tribe for a while.  I continued my conversation with Linda and several of the tribal leaders until about 8:30 and then we decided to go home. Dennis:  Now this was 1991? Jerry Sittser:  1991 September 27.  Dennis:   And you were there with your wife and four children plus your own mom. Jerry Sittser:   My mom came for the weekend.  She and my wife were going to go dress shopping for a new dress for a solo performance she was going to be doing of the Messiah in December.  Typical for my mom she brought 12 quarts of frozen blueberries packed in ice.  It was so typical for what she would do.  She was a wonderful woman, a great grandma, and a great mom.  She was very close to our family.   Dennis:  You had gone to Idaho for this field trip and you decided to head back home to Spokane at that point? Jerry Sittser:  We did.  It was dark out obviously and on a lonely stretch of highway only about 10 minutes from where the powwow was held I noticed a car coming on at a really rapid rate of speed.  It slowed down just a little bit at a curve and so I was alert to this.   Without any warning he just drove right into me.  He missed the curve and plowed head on at 85 miles per hour.  In fact it was so head on that his car cart wheeled over ours.  So it didn't roll it cart wheeled down the highway.   It was awful.  In the wake of that accident as soon as I could I collected myself.  I was not injured seriously just bruised and that sort of thing.  I looked around and knew that it was really bad.  My mother who was sitting way in the back was seriously injured.  My four year old I could tell was dead.  She had a broken neck.  I tried to get a pulse and did mouth to mouth but it was hopeless.  I could tell my wife, Linda, was catastrophically injured, too.   My other kids were dazed, crying, and screaming.  It was chaotic.  All the windows were broken out of the car.  My door could open and I got the kids out who were mobile.  Katherine was eight and John was six and David was two.  I found out later that John had a broken femur and some other injuries but the other two kids were just bruised but okay.  I went back to try to tend to Linda.  I got a pulse but knew she wasn't going to live because her injuries were just too severe.  I did mouth to mouth on Diana Jane but she was gone.   I got to my mother only briefly but then something beautiful happened.  You find these flowers in the midst of ashes almost right away.  People began to stop.  The scene was chaotic.  The driver survived but his wife who was nine months pregnant died and the unborn baby died as well.  There were five casualties in the accident.   Some guy got out of the car and went over to my mother and reached out to her through the broken window and held her hand and stroked her arm until she died.  That is a beautiful act of grace to me.  It was very courageous of him in the midst of that chaos and that violence to break through that with mercy and love.  I wish I knew who that man was because I'd like to thank him. Bob:  What a surreal moment that had to be for you.  Almost like you've stepped out of time and space and your body…I don't know how to describe it other than just surreal.Jerry Sittser:  Yes, it was surreal.  I have such vivid memories to this day.   Nothing has faded at all.  First it was a nightmare to have those kinds of memories.  It's not so bad anymore because it's been integrated into the landscape of my life.  It doesn't haunt me like it used to.   We waited a long time before emergency vehicles came and they took over.  I got to a phone as soon as I could to call my sister to say something unspeakable had happened.  After about an hour the survivors, namely my three children Katherine, John and David and I were all put in the same emergency vehicle and were transported another hour up to Coeur d'Alene for emergency care.   That one hour was probably the most significant hour in my life.  It really was the turning point for me.  It was like a wormhole from one reality to another.  Honestly it's the most accurate way I can describe it.  Time ceased to have meaning.  It could have been ten years.  That period of time is frozen in my memory and it was probably the most rational moment I've ever had in my life.  It was quiet.  John was sedated.  The other kids were whimpering but it was quiet.  The emergency personnel didn't say anything and I had one hour to just be.  I thought about the accident and the scene.  I knew what had happened and I thought of what would be as a result.   I considered the task set before me.  I had a burden that was placed on my shoulders and in a sense a divine mandate that said you draw a line in the sand right now and decide what you want to be and what you want to come from this experience.  And I did.  I said, I want the bleeding to stop right here.  This is it.  I don't want to do things that are going to set in motion more and more pain and more and more bleeding that could go on for generations.   I made the basic decision right then and there that I was going to somehow by the grace of God respond and live this story out in a way that was going to be redemptive.  Redemption was really the key term that just kept coming back to me.  Redemption.  This is not the final word.   Dennis:  I want out listeners to hear what's wrapped up in your statement because you make this statement in your book.  You said loss does not have to be the defining moment in our lives instead the defining moment can be our response to that loss.  It's not what happens to us that matters so much as what happens in us.  You really believe that don't you? Jerry Sittser:  I do believe it by the grace of God.  I didn't write a self help book here.  I don't believe that.  The ultimate message of Christianity is not self help it is God's help.  Through a long and often difficult journey I really did discover that the Christian faith is true.   Grace really is available to get us through these hard stretches of life.  My response of choosing to trust the grace of God was far more significant than the event itself.  You know my kids would say the same thing today.  They would say that the accident is actually not that significant.  It is what's come out of it that is significant.  Bob:  What seems remarkable to me as you describe this hour of rational clarity is the absence of grief.  I think of someone living through what you have just lived through and I would think this person would be a grieving basket case.  It's not that you didn't experience grief.   Jerry Sittser:  No, I did. Bob:  Do you think this was kind of a shock response or was this the grace of God giving you this moment of clarity to prepare you for what was ahead?  Jerry Sittser:  I suppose you could say there was some shock involved in it but Bob, there was something more than that honestly.  I look back on it this day with a sense of wonder.  It wasn't simply that I had not absorbed the significance.   I knew what had happened to me.   It wasn't even as if I was holding it off.  I think God gave me that gift.  I think He gave me one hour to decide what I was going to believe and where I was going to head and I walked out of that emergency vehicle in Coeur d'Alene into a different world.  I collapsed.  It was hard going for a long time.   Bob:  Can I ask the two of you did you experience anything similar to that, Barbara, in going through what you went through with the death of Molly? Barbara:  I think we did but it wasn't anywhere near as dramatic as what Jerry was describing.  We watched our kids and as we watched them respond to the news that Molly was not going to live they had a choice to make in those first moments.  I think those early moments of facing tragedy and loss in a crisis like that are the defining moments.   They decided they were going to believe God.  They were going to believe that He was good and that He was sufficient and that He knew what He was doing.  That really set the course for them from there on out.  So I think in the moment of crisis I think God gives us that opportunity to choose.  Do we believe Him or not?   Jerry Sittser:    I like what Barbara said about defining a course because that's different from solving all the problems.  When you suffer a loss whether it be divorce or terminal illness or loss of a job it can be other things that are a little less dramatic and tragic.  I think we do have the power to set a course and that makes a huge difference over a long period of time.  It doesn't solve all the problems but it gets us going in a particular direction.  I think I did that by the grace of God.   Bob:  You know people or have met people who just dissolved in their moment of pain and didn't have that rational clarity that you described.   Jerry Sittser:  I think what happens is we give some kind of tragedy more power than it deserves.  It does become the defining moment instead of the response being the defining moment.  It's the thing itself and then pretty soon it's affecting other relationships.    It's affecting life habits that we form and 20 or 30 years later that divorce or loss or whatever continues to dominate our lives.  That's what I call the second death and it's actually worse than the initial death.  Far worse than the loss of Linda and my mom and Diana Jane would have been say the loss my children would have experienced in my bitterness.  In fact I have an interesting story to tell you.   About six months or a year after the accident I got an anonymous telephone call from a young woman who said, “Mr. Sittser I want to tell you my story.  When I was a young girl my mother died of cancer and I've been in therapy for six years.  I thought to myself this is not a helpful conversation she said no let me continue my story.   “I'm in therapy not because I lost my mother but I lost my father at the same time and he is still alive. He became non functional and so overcome with grief and bitterness that I lost both parents but my dad is still alive.  She said, don't let that happen to you” and she hung up the phone.   Now she didn't give me new information but it was a wonderful reminder to me that the role I was playing was significant.  By my own attitude and spirit I was setting a course and I was giving cues to my children.   Dennis:  You are also making choices for your own life that are going to determine who you become as a man.  I think of the listeners who have eavesdropped today in terms of hearing this story.  I wonder what they are facing because all of us experience loss.  If you live long enough you will experience loss.  The Bible is a very lofty book but it's also a very gritty book that meets us in the midst of our grief.   You made a statement Jerry that I want to underline.  I really understand why a loss can become central to our lives and why the grief that surrounds it can become the defining moment.  It hurts.  It is terrible.  As you describe it it's catastrophic but I like what you did in your book.  You called us away from the focus on the circumstances to focus on the God of all grace and mercy who can bring hope and healing.  He can keep us from becoming embittered in that process.   Bob:  Barbara, in the weeks that followed in the birth and death of your granddaughter Molly you had a lot of people send you quotes and recommend articles or books.  This book was the one God used most powerfully, wasn't it? Barbara:  Yes.  It was.   There were other things, too, but this was the book that I read through that really resonated in my soul.  Jerry talked about not just the loss of death but all kinds of loss and how our identity is wrapped up in how we respond to that loss.  It was really profound in my life.   Bob:  I think both of you will be encouraged to know that we have a lot of listeners over the last several weeks who have contacted us to get a copy of Jerry's book called A Grace Disguised.  We still have copies in our FamilyLife Resource Center.   You can go to our web site FamilyLifeToday.com and find information about Jerry's book which is called A Grace Disguised:  How the Soul Grows Through Loss.  You'll find it available there along with copies of the book that you've just finished writing Barbara along with your daughter Rebecca called A Symphony in the Dark: Hearing God's Voice in Seasons of Grief.  It focuses in on the events of a year ago when your granddaughter Molly was born and lived for seven days and how your family processed that season of grief.   Again both of these books are available from us at FamilyLife Today.  Go to our web site FamilyLife Today.com.  You can order online from us if you'd like or if it's easier call 1-800-FL-TODAY.  That's 1-800-358-6329.  That's 1 800 “F”as in family “L” as in life and then the word TODAY and we can make arrangements to have whichever of these books you'd like or both of them sent out to you. We also want to take a couple of minutes and say thanks to those of you who help underwrite this daily radio program.  Your financial support of FamilyLife Today is what keeps this program on the air.  It helps defray the costs of production and syndication to keep this program on more than a thousand radio stations and outlets all across the country.  It is available online and audio streaming and as a podcast.  Thanks to those of you who help make that happen by making donations on a regular basis for the ministry of FamilyLife Today.   This month if you're able to help with a donation of any amount to the ministry of FamilyLife Today we have a CD we'd like to send you.  This CD features a conversation we had several months ago with Nancy Leigh DeMoss the popular author and speaker and the host of the daily radio program, Revive Our Hearts.  Our conversation was on the subject of forgiveness and what the Bible says about forgiveness.  Nancy has written a great book called Choosing Forgiveness and I know that this is a subject that a lot of people struggle with.  Jerry you addressed it in your book A Grace Disguised.   This CD is our way of saying thank you to you this month when you support the ministry of FamilyLife Today with a donation of any amount.  If you're making that donation online at FamilyLifeToday.com all you have to do is type the word “forgive” in the key code box on the donation form and we'll know to send a copy of the CD to you. Or call toll-free 1 800 FLTODAY.   Make your donation over the phone and just ask for the CD on forgiveness or the CD with Nancy Leigh DeMoss.  Again we are happy to send it to you and we do appreciate your support of this ministry.  Thanks for partnering with us.   Tomorrow we're going to talk about life getting back to normal after a catastrophic event like the one Jerry Sittser experienced almost two decades ago now.  We'll find out if life ever does get back to normal or if it's just a new normal.  I hope you can join us for that.   I want to thank our engineer today Keith Lynch and our entire broadcast production team on behalf of our host Dennis Rainey I'm Bob Lepine.  We will see you back next time for another edition of FamilyLife Today. FamilyLife Today is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. Help for today.  Hope for tomorrow. © 2009 FamilyLife   We are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.  However, there is a cost to transcribe, create, and produce them for our website.  If you've benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider donating today to help defray the costs?   Copyright © FamilyLife.  All rights reserved. www.FamilyLife.com     

A Biblical Portrait of Womanhood (Part 1) - Nancy Leigh DeMossA Biblical Portrait of Womanhood (Part 2) - Nancy Leigh DeMossA Biblical Portrait of Womanhood (Part 3) - Nancy Leigh DeMossA Biblical Portrait of Womanhood (Part 4) - Nancy Leigh DeMossA Biblical Portrait of Womanhood (Part 5) - Nancy Leigh DeMossFamilyLife Today® Radio Transcript  References to conferences, resources, or other special promotions may be obsolete. Living God's Design for Your Life Day 2 of 5 Guest:                        Nancy Leigh DeMoss From the series:       A Biblical Portrait of Womanhood  Bob: What does womanhood look like biblically at home?  Here is Nancy Leigh DeMoss. Nancy: Scripture talks about a woman as reverencing her husband, honoring him, lifting him up; a woman who loves her husband, loves her children.  Proverbs speaks of the importance of a woman having the quality of discretion.  I think so many of these come back to the fact that God made us, as women, to be responders and to allow the men to be the initiators that God created them to be. Bob: This is FamilyLife Today for Tuesday, June 17th.  Our host is the president of FamilyLife, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.  What are the core character qualities that define biblical womanhood?  We'll talk about that today, stay tuned. And welcome to FamilyLife Today, thanks for joining us on the Tuesday edition.  I remember when I was growing up, back then the "CBS Evening News" was hosted by Walter Cronkite – remember – Walter Cronkite, and over on NBC it was Chet Huntley and David Brinkley, and I don't remember who was on ABC and neither does anybody else because nobody was even watching ABC.  And so the executives over at ABC, I think it was Fred Silverman at the time, decided he was going to have two anchors, kind of like Huntley-Brinkley.  One of them was going to be Harry Reasoner, and the other Barbara Walters.  And for the first time, America was going to be asked to get their evening news from a woman.  There was a lot of discussion – was America ready to have a woman as a nightly news anchor?   And, you know, we look at that now from the perspective of more than 30 years, and it's almost laughable.  I heard somebody the other day saying that most of the cable news anchors are women today, and we don't think anything of it.  And yet back then we were asking a lot of questions about what is the essence of manhood, what is the essence of womanhood?  And, frankly, even though we'd look back at having a female news anchor being revolutionary, and we'd laugh about that today, I still think there is a lot of confusion in our culture today about what's at the essence of manhood, and what's at the essence of womanhood? Dennis: And because of the cultural shift, there has been a shift in the Christian community.  Unfortunately, we have lost our biblical moorings, our anchor point in the Scripture, and I fear that we're raising a generation of daughters and, for that matter, sons, who do not know what it means to be a woman or to be a man.   And that's why we're committing these broadcasts just to helping women truly have a good grasp of what it means, biblically speaking, to be a woman.  And with us in the studio to help us here on a second day is Nancy Leigh DeMoss – Nancy, welcome back. Nancy: Thank you. Dennis: Nancy has spoken to women's groups for more than 20 years, and I think it's fair to say, Nancy, that this is a life message for you – defining what it means and painting a portrait of femininity, is that right? Nancy: Well, God certainly has given me a heart to glorify Him, as a woman, and that means that there are issues that have to be wrestled with. Bob: Yes, and you spend time wrestling with this issues on your daily radio program, "Revive Our Hearts," which many of our listeners are familiar with because it's heard on some of the stations that also carry FamilyLife Today.  You have also written a number of books including a bestselling book called "Lies Women Believe."  There is a new book out called "Lies Young Women Believe."  You've written a study guide called "Seeking Him," and our listeners may not know that you're going to be hosting a national conference in Chicago coming up in October.   It's called True Woman '08, and you're going to be speaking there along with Joni Eareckson Tada and Janet Parshall and, Dennis, your wife, Barbara is going to be there, Karen Loritts is going to be speaking as well – Pastor John Piper is going to be speaking to the ladies, and there is already a lot of excitement about this conference.  In fact, it's starting to fill up.  So if our listeners are interested in attending the True Woman '08 conference, they should go to our website, FamilyLife.com, and click where it says "Today's Broadcast" on the right side of the screen, and they'll find a link to the True Woman website, and they can get registered online and plan to attend the conference. Let me ask you about this issue of masculinity and femininity.  Does the Bible give us insight into why God created us differently?  Why He created us male and female? Nancy: Well, actually, God answers that question for us in His Word, thankfully.  And we find, if we go back to the Genesis record, that God made the man first, God created the man in His image, unlike all that had preceded man, unlike the animals or the plants or the seas, the waters.  God looked at the man and said, "It's not good."  It's not good that the man should be alone.   And then it is interesting to me that God sent Adam on a little hunt to find, if he could, a completer for himself.  Adam failed in that attempt.  There was no completer for him, and then I think Adam realized that God was the one who had to provide his completion.  God was the one who had to provide that which would complement him.  And then, as we know, God put the man to sleep … Bob: And I don't know this, but I bet he snored like crazy during that nap. Nancy: Probably, probably. Bob: Just guessing on that. Dennis: You think? Bob: I just am guessing he was in a deep sleep and was sawing some mean logs. Nancy: Isn't snoring the result of the Fall? Bob: Well, that's a good question. Dennis: That's a great question.  I'm more certain of this – that when God came walking up with the answer to the question, "Why am I incomplete?"  He woke up at that point, didn't he? Nancy: He did, and the thing that's helpful for us, as women, to understand is that God made us for the man.  So much of the teaching in our generation has been that the woman was is to be independent of the man; that her identity is not to be tied into that of the man.  But as we go back to the manual of life that we have here in God's Word, the manual that tells us how life can best function, we find that God made woman for the man.  He made her from the man.  They are not independent.  They are together created to reflect the image of God.  God gave her to the man as his helper.  God is saying, "The man needs one to help him in this task of exercising dominion over the earth, and the woman is the one that I have made to be able perfectly to help him fulfill that task. Bob: And in Genesis God immediately gives that a context of marriage, but you're saying that even a single woman has been created to be a helper to man? Nancy: Well, as we go into the New Testament, which helps us to understand more of the Old Testament record we get into 1 Corinthians, chapter 11, for example, that tells us that the woman was made for the man.  So obviously that relates to the context of marriage.  But I believe that God made us as women – me as a single woman – to have a role of being a helper, to be a cheerleader, an encourager, one who helps God's men fulfill their role in life. Bob: You know, you can almost hear a woman kind of flinching as you offer that definition, because she is saying, "That's it?  I'm a cheerleader?  I stand on the sidelines while men play the game, and I cheer them on, and I run the water in during the water break, and I pat them on the back, and then I got back to the sidelines and let them play?  That doesn't sound like God to me." Dennis: Yes, and there would be those add their voices, Nancy, who would say isn't being a helper a demeaning term?  Aren't you unnecessarily subjugating me to this sinful, selfish man and, after all, that was before man sinned. Nancy: The New Testament tells us that men and women, husband and wife, are heirs together of the grace of life, and that a man's greatest fulfillment and a woman's greatest fulfillment in life will come through complementing each other, not competing with each other, but being willing to complete each other.  This is not a secondary role – the woman, as much as the man, was created in the image of God.  The woman, as much as the man, is a recipient of the grace of God and, by the way, that means for both sinners in need of the grace of God.   I look at the New Testament record in Matthew, chapter 1, of the genealogy of our Lord Jesus and included in that record are five women, which would have been unusual for a Jewish audience to include women in the genealogical listing – five women each of whom, from the Jewish standpoint, had a strike or a mark against her either because of an immoral background or a foreign background or even, in the case of Mary, the mother of Jesus, having a child without having a husband.   In that passage, I believe God even shows us this pattern that women, like men, are heirs of the grace of life – participants, full participants together in the Gospel and the redemptive plan of God here on this earth. Dennis: Nancy, you're single, and thus you're not a mom, but if you were a mom, and you had three daughters like mine, all of them teenagers.  How would you be purposeful and intentional about developing and rearing a daughter to develop her femininity in relationship to men?  There's a good chance she may be single.   Nancy: You see, whether single or married, I believe God created all of us, as women, to be bearers of life.  Not only physiologically are we designed – men cannot have babies – women are physiologically designed to be able to have babies, but I think that is a picture of a deeper, inner truth that God made us, as women, to be bearers and nurturers of life.  As a single woman, one of my roles and responsibilities in ministry is to give spiritual life, to nurture spiritual life, in the lives of other young women. And you have, Dennis, speaking of your daughters, in your wife, a woman who is a model to those daughters of what it means to be a supporter, an encourager, a cheerleader, and she's modeling for your daughters the blessing of establishing that as a priority – the building of a home. Bob: Boy, that is so key, Dennis, because what Nancy is saying is that before a mom can ever teacher her daughter what it means to be a woman, a mom has to understand and embrace it for herself, model it for her daughters, or the instruction is not going to make any sense.  And we've seen just the opposite occur.  We've seen women in the culture embracing the cultural definition of femininity and wanting to raise daughters who fulfill a more masculine design for life. Dennis: Yes, and as a result of taking on the water of the culture, their own boats are sinking, because they are confused, as women, as to what is a woman, and she can't pass it on to her daughters or to her sons.  And, by the way, I think it's very important that our sons not only know what biblical masculinity is from mothers and fathers, but that they also know what it means to be a woman, as well, so that when they see a woman, they know what a true woman is.  They don't define a woman around the exterior, which, over in 1 Peter, chapter 3, Peter warns a woman about merely placing an emphasis on the exterior.  Our sons need to be discerning about what a true woman is and what a true woman is to become. Nancy: Of course, the whole purpose of Proverbs 31 is that it was written to a king to tell him what qualities he ought to look for in a woman; what were the womanly qualities, the qualities of a woman who fears the Lord – what would she look like and how should he choose a wife? Dennis: I think a key question for every mom and, for that matter, every woman, whether you're single or married or whether you even have children – but put yourself in this position – if your daughter came to you and asked you, "Mommy, what does it mean to be a woman and not a man?"  And, Nancy, I'm going to put that question to you right now – what if you had a daughter, and she asked you that question?  How would you answer her? Nancy: You know, Dennis, since I was a teenage girl, I have searched the Scriptures, the Word of God, and also as I've talked with literally thousands of women around the world, come to see if there are certain qualities, which, when you put them together, form a portrait of God's kind of woman.  We've talked about some of those already – a woman as a helper, as an encourager, as a cheerleader, a woman distinctively in a role as a servant, a servant of God and of God's men.  We've talked about a woman as a nurturer, a mother, a bearer of life.  Scripture talks about a woman as a teacher, a teacher of her children, a teacher of younger women. And then we read in the New Testament that there are specific qualities that God considers precious and beautiful in a woman.  You talked about how it's not just the outward beauty that a woman is to focus on, but 1 Peter 3 speaks of her having the internal beauty and radiance of a spirit that is gentle, it is meek, it is quiet, a spirit that trusts in God.  Scripture talks about a woman as having a submissive spirit, being willing to come under the covering and the protection of God-ordained authority. Scripture talks about a woman who fears the Lord in Proverbs 31, is a woman who will be praised.  So there's the dimension of her personal walk with God.  There are a number of passages in Scripture that speak of women in the role of concerned praying women, and how a culture that has been taken over with secularism needs women who are weeping, burdened, praying women – how we need that in our day.  Scripture talks about a woman as reverencing her husband, honoring him, lifting him up; a woman who loves her husband, loves her children.  In addition, there are numerous passages in Scripture that speak of a woman being modest, chaste, pure in her speech, in her behavior, in her clothing.  Proverbs speaks of the importance of a woman having the quality of discretion.   I think so many of these come back to the fact that God made us, as women, to be responders and to allow the men to be the initiators that God created them to be. Bob: I want to ask you about that, but there are some women who just heard that portrait, that description, and they said to themselves, "Yuck, I don't like that.  That's not who I feel like, I'm not sure that's who I want to be." Dennis: And they are also saying, "I question whether that's the way God made me.  He didn't make me to be a responder." Nancy: Not too long ago, I had the privilege of talking with two different women on the same day who are both dear friends.  The one woman is a young mother who came and expressed to me that she was experiencing some depression, some frustration in her life, there were some issues that were unresolved between herself and her husband.  She was wrestling with the feeling that she did not feel motivated or successful in her role as a mother, so she was wanting to take on a career outside of her family, and she and her husband were wrestling through some of these issues. And she said to me – "What if my husband" – now, she has a godly husband – she said, "What if my husband wants me to be barefoot, pregnant, and in the kitchen for the rest of my life?"  It wasn't long after that conversation that I had another conversation with another woman who is a dear friend.  She's the wife of a pastor, and I saw, in this woman and older woman who has devoted her life to being a helper, a completer, a responder to her husband.  Her children are now grown, she has taught her children to love their husbands, to love their own children, and I saw in this older woman, a woman who is deeply at peace, who is radiant, who is fulfilled, a woman whose husband is nuts about her, because Proverbs 31 says that a woman who fears the Lord will be praised.  What woman could ask for more than that Proverbs 31 woman has, and that is children who call her blessed, a husband who praises her publicly – this is deep in our hearts, as women, what we desire and what we were made for. Dennis: And, you know, Nancy, as you were going through your list and talking about all this, I thought "How refreshing.  What a clear, refreshing voice in a culture that, again, is trying to define what it means to be a woman without reference to what the Scriptures say."  Every one of these in your list are all biblically based, and what a great portrait to hang in our living rooms for our daughters to attain to and to seek to become. I thought of, as you were talking about being modest, chaste, and pure, how boys are never challenged to be modest, chaste – now they are called to be moral.  They are called to be in control of their own sexual passions, but this is a different set of words than you would use for a boy who is being called to become a man. And a young lady who is growing up, having had this portrait lived out in front of her by her mom and then having had that portrait painted from the Scriptures by both of her parents – think of the contentment, the possibilities of her life and what she can mean to a young man, to a family, to another generation of children.  This is where Christianity becomes uniquely powerful. Bob: And, ultimately, to the woman who sees this portrait and goes, "I don't know that I like it; I'm not sure God made me this way."  The issue is not what she feels like.  The issue is whether she will come under the authority of the Word of God and be the kind of woman that God's Word says He has made women to be. Nancy: I think, equally, a man could look at the portrait of biblical manhood in the Scripture and think, "I don't think God made me for leadership.  I don't think God made me for initiative."  But joy and fulfillment in life come from saying, "Yes, Lord." Dennis: And, you know, there are women listening to this broadcast right now who are not married to godly men, they're not married to a pastor, and yet you can take this portrait that you've painted here, this is still true regardless of whether they are married to a man who is a godly man.  This is still biblical femininity.  This is what God says is the picture of what it means to be a woman, regardless of your circumstances.  There is hope there, isn't there? Nancy: There is, and I don't think that the average woman has ever begun to fathom the extent of the influence that her life, when she surrenders to the Lordship of Christ and His design, the influence that her life will have on her husband and on other men around her.  We, as women, have profound influence on the attitudes, the values, the lifestyles of the men around us whether or not we choose to embrace God's pattern for our lives. Dennis: And, Nancy, hanging in the gallery of my own heart is the picture of my mom who, although she didn't have – well, the resources that we've had today and the great teachers like you are, to be able to instruct her about what it meant to be a woman, she did get in the Scriptures, and she was a helper, a cheerleader, a nurturer, a bearer of life.  She was modest and chaste and was a woman who feared the Lord and had a meek and quiet spirit, teachable, and was profoundly influential – just exactly what you are talking about. Bob: But, you know, if we had called your mom back before she went home to be with the Lord, and we had said to her, "Do you think you're an influential woman?"  She would have laughed at that idea, and I think there are a lot of women who hear us talk about these ideas, and they look at their own lives, and they say, "I'm not influencing – okay, maybe I'm having some influence on my children, but I don't feel like a woman of influence.  I don't feel like I'm making a big difference in anybody's life."  And that's an issue, Nancy, that you've addressed in the book that you wrote called "Lies Women Believe," which has gone on to be a bestselling book.   And you've also addressed it in the new book that you and Dana Gresh have written together called "Lies Young Women Believe," because, as you've noted many times, Dennis, there are a lot of young women who are growing up, not with an eye toward home, but with an eye toward the marketplace as the center of influence for our culture.  We've got copies of the books that Nancy has written in our FamilyLife Resource Center, including the booklet called  "A Biblical Portrait of Womanhood" that addresses many of the themes we're talking about this week.  You can go to our website, which is FamilyLife.com and if you click the right side of the screen where it says "Today's Broadcast," you can get more information about the resources that Nancy has written and if you have not read "Lies Women Believe," let me encourage you to get a copy of that book and read through it.  Again, the website is FamilyLife.com, and you need to click on the right side of the screen on the home page where it says "Today's Broadcast."   And there is also information available there about the upcoming conference in Chicago, the True Woman '08 conference.  It's October 8th through the 11th, and it's a national conference.  Women from all over the country are going to be coming in to hear a great variety of speakers including Joni Eareckson Tada, Pastor John Piper, Nancy is going to be speaking, your wife, Barbara, is going to be speaking, Dennis, and Keith and Kristyn Getty are going to be there to help lead the worship.  It's going to be a wonderful two-and-a-half-day event, and if our listeners are interested, they can find out more on our website at FamilyLife.com, and they can register by clicking through to the True Woman website. Or if it's easier for you to get more information or request these resources by calling us, the toll-free number is 1-800-FLTODAY, that's 1-800-358-6329, 1-800-F-as-in-family, L-as-in-life, and then the word TODAY.  While women are wrestling with this subject of what it means to be a woman according to the Scriptures, men have been wrestling for some time with the same thing from our perspective – what does it mean to be a man, to be God's man?  And our friend, Pastor Stu Weber, who is a former Army Ranger and a Green Beret has a wonderful message on this subject that we are making available to listeners this month. When you support the ministry of FamilyLife Today with a donation of any amount, it's a message called "Applied Masculinity," and you can request a copy when you make a donation either online or by calling 1-800-FLTODAY.  Because FamilyLife Today is listener-supported, those donations are essential for us to continue on this station and on other stations across the country.   If you are making your donation online, you will come to a keycode box on the donation form, and you will need to type the word "Stu" in there, s-t-u, so that we can send you a copy of this CD, or you can call 1-800-FLTODAY, make a donation over the phone and just mention that you'd like a copy of the Stu Weber CD.  We're happy to send it out to you as our way of saying thank you for your financial support of the ministry of FamilyLife Today. Well, tomorrow Nancy Leigh DeMoss is going to be back with us.  We're going to continue to look at what it means to be a woman according to the Scriptures.  I hope you can be with us as well. I want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.  On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.  We'll see you next time for another edition of FamilyLife Today.  FamilyLife Today is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas – help for today; hope for tomorrow.  ____________________________________________________________We are so happy to provide these transcripts for you. However, there is a cost to transcribe, create, and produce them for our website. If you've benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider donating today to help defray the costs?Copyright © FamilyLife. All rights reserved. www.FamilyLife.com 

A Biblical Portrait of Womanhood (Part 1) - Nancy Leigh DeMossA Biblical Portrait of Womanhood (Part 2) - Nancy Leigh DeMossA Biblical Portrait of Womanhood (Part 3) - Nancy Leigh DeMossA Biblical Portrait of Womanhood (Part 4) - Nancy Leigh DeMossA Biblical Portrait of Womanhood (Part 5) - Nancy Leigh DeMossFamilyLife Today® Radio Transcript  References to conferences, resources, or other special promotions may be obsolete. Responding to Your Husband Day 3 of 5 Guest:                        Nancy Leigh DeMoss From the series:       A Biblical Portrait of Womanhood Bob: A lot of women bristle at the idea of submission, which is talked about in the Bible.  In some cases, that's because the concept has been abused or misapplied.  Nancy Leigh DeMoss says one reason women bristle is because they haven't wrestled with the concept of surrendering to God and His purposes. Nancy: Proverbs tells us that the king's heart is in the hand of the Lord, and the Lord turns the heart of that king as the rivers of water.  The greatest evidence of how big I believe God is, is my willingness to trust God to work through authority that He's placed in my life and to give Him time to change the heart of that authority. Bob: This is FamilyLife Today for Wednesday, June 18th.  Our host is the president of FamilyLife, Dennis Rainey.  A lot of women and men struggle with the idea of submission and what that ought to look like in our lives.  Stay tuned. And welcome to FamilyLife Today, thanks for joining us on the Wednesday edition of our broadcast.  I was remembering, Dennis, the advertising campaign, that came out in the – oh, the early '70s for the Virginia Slims brand of cigarettes – "You've Come a Long Way, Baby," you remember that jingle?  Dennis: I do. Bob: And they used to sing in that jingle – "You've come a long way, you've got your own cigarette now, baby, you've come a long, long way,"  and I remember laughing at that , thinking, "Boy, that's a real sign of progress, huh?  When somebody finally has their own brand of cigarette, they've really come a long way. And yet over the last 30 or 40 years, we have looked at what it means to be a man and what it means to be a woman, it's all been in the context of coming a long way and digging ourselves out of our repressive past into our liberated future. Dennis: And, of course, in order to do that, a woman has got to roar.   Bob: That's right, that's right. Dennis: And so between cigarettes and roaring, we have redefined what it means to be a woman, and we're laughing about this here, but you know what?  It really is sad.  That definition and that roaring has occurred to great harm and detriment within the Christian community as we attempt to raise our daughters and, for that matter, our sons, with a true biblical imprint of God's image in them as male and as female.  And with us to help us perhaps counter that culture with a biblical portrait of what it means to be a woman, today on the broadcast, is Nancy Leigh DeMoss.   Nancy is a speaker to women's groups.  In fact, she has done that for the past 20 years, and this is a life message for you, isn't it, Nancy? Nancy: I just consider it an exciting challenge today to help women see that there is so much more that God has for us than perhaps what we've been enjoying. Bob: Well, and you get to do that every day on your daily radio program, "Revive Our Hearts," which is heard on many of the same stations that carry FamilyLife Today.  And you've done it through your writing, through the bestselling book, "Lies Women Believe," the Study Guide, "Seeking Him," the trilogy of books on surrender and holiness and brokenness that you've written and, this fall, you're going to be having an opportunity to challenge women on this very subject at a conference, a national conference you're doing in Chicago that is called True Woman '08."  My wife is planning to be there and really looking forward to it. Let me ask you – as we're talking about this subject of the differences between men and women, you really believe that there is a lot of confusion among Christians, both men and women, on this subject because of the messages we're getting from the culture, right? Nancy: Well, look around and see the dynamics of our culture are rooted in the twin vices of selfishness and rebellion.  Our culture is rooted in self-seeking, self-assertiveness, self-exaltation, selfishness – self-centeredness and rebellion.  We dislike authority.  We don't want to live under authority and, as women, this has been especially destructive as the feminist movement has built its case on self-seeking, self-assertiveness, and rebellion against authority. God's Word, on the other hand, teaches us the way of surrender, submission to Christ as Lord, and then to those of human authorities that God places in our lives.  Surrender versus rebellion and the way of love – being a giver rather than a taker, not self-seeking but self-denying. Dennis: Let's look at some important parts of this portrait of what it means to truly biblically feminine, of what God wants you to be as a woman.  Where do we begin as we look at this portrait? Nancy: We talked yesterday about the woman as a responder and the man as an initiator.  This becomes obvious to us as we go back again to the Genesis record and see what God designed for the man and for the woman, and then how the man and the woman distorted and perverted that design.  God made the man and said to the man, "Here is your responsibility.  Have dominion, subdue the earth, rule over it, be the king of the earth."  Then God gave to the man a helper, a woman, likewise created in the image of God but different than the man, made to complete him not to compete with him, and said to her, "You are to help him fulfill this responsibility." Then when we come to the serpent entering the scene, we find the first illustration of role reversal.  It's interesting that the serpent comes to the woman.  God had given the instruction to the man, but Satan comes to the woman independent of the man and challenges her to take the initiative; to find her declaration of independence.  To say, "I will make my own decision, I will be my own god."  He challenges her to step out from under the protection, the authority of her husband, and then when she gives the fruit to her husband, and he eats, he likewise is abdicating the headship, the responsibility for initiative that God has given to him. And from that point on, we find man and woman in a power struggle.  The woman, driven to control, to initiate, to be the head, to lead, and the man either passive or abusive but not fulfilling the God-given responsibility to initiate, which is not a consequence of the Fall but precedes the Fall that God ordained the man to be the leader, the head, the initiator.  The woman, by taking that role into her own hands in a sense emasculated the man.  Bob: That's interesting.  You're saying that Eve could have said to the Serpent, "I want to check this out with my husband.  Wait right here."  She could have gone to Adam whether he was standing there or not, but she could have looked at him and said, "Should we do this?" Nancy: What does the Scripture say in the New Testament?  If a woman has a question, let her ask her husband.  And I hear women so often today, "My husband doesn't know the Word of God.  I'm the woman, I've been sitting in the Bible studies listening to speakers and going to seminars.  My husband doesn't know all these things."  And I say to women, you'd be amazed if, with a learner's heart, a teachable spirit, a humble attitude, you are to begin to ask your husband questions, and he saw himself as being needed by you, how he might be motivated and prompted to begin to take initiative to learn the heart and the ways of God in these areas. Dennis: Today, Nancy, within the Christian community, there are those who would express that a woman shouldn't come back to her husband and ask him a question.  In fact, there are those who would even take issue with command for a wife to submit to her husband.  They would really have a problem with that. Nancy: Dennis, the entire universe created by God is structured in authority and submission relationships.  The Trinity itself models for us what it means for there to be authority and submission.  We see God the Father, who deeply loves His Son, and we see the Son saying, "I have come to this earth not to do my own will but to do the will of my Father."  We see Jesus, who was co-equal, co-eternal with God the Father, voluntarily placing Himself under the authority of His Heavenly Father so that the plan of redemption can be accomplished. So for a woman to come under the authority of her husband, under the authority of male leadership in the church, is not to be less than equal but is to say I am willing to function according to the design of God so that His purposes can be fulfilled in this earth. Dennis: And I don't want the moms and the dads who are raising the next generation of daughters and, for that matter, sons, to miss the profound statement that Nancy just made.  She is saying we've got to train our daughters to understand the importance of God's created order and of authority and of submitting to authority and that authority is not wrong. Nancy: And it is not negative.  You've got to come to see that authority, in whatever realm of life – employer, employee, elders, church leadership, and authority in the home – that these are God's means of providing protection for the lives of those who come under that authority. I had an experience a number of years ago that illustrated this to me in a helpful way.  At the time, I was traveling a great deal, and I was serving in a ministry where the authorities, the leadership in the ministry, had said that I should not fly in a single-engine airplane at night.  I loved flying, and I didn't care whether it was single-engine or twin-engine, but it wasn't an issue to me, but they felt that it was not wise for anyone to be flying in a single-engine airplane at night.  If the one engine you had went out, that was it. Well, that didn't cramp my style too much.  It wasn't often the case that that would be necessary, but I found myself one time traveling in one of those states that nobody uses, where nothing is near anything, and we had a very difficult itinerary, just one seminar to the next from one small town to the next over the period of a week.  And one of those days – I called in advance, as we were making the arrangement, and I said to the man who was setting up the logistics, "Now, I just need to let you" – he said, "We may need to charter a plane at some point to get us from one of these towns to the next where there is no commercial service available."  I said, "Well, that's fine, but you need to understand that I can't fly in a single-engine airplane at night." Well, he told me that would be fine.  He asked me if I was afraid to fly in a single-engine airplane at night, and I said, "No, that wasn't the case but that I was under authority."  Well, we got to the airport on one of those particular days, and there was one airplane at that airport, and it had one engine, and it was night.  And I said, "Carl, I can't go up in that plane."  He said, "It's the only plane we have."  I said, "Well, we can't go."  He said, "It will cost us a lot more to charter something different."  I said, "Well, we'll have to pay or we can't go."  And he tried to reason with me that there was no reason for me to be afraid to go up in that single-engine airplane at night.  They had a good pilot; he felt it was a safe plane. I said, "You know, Carl, that's not the issue.  I'm a woman under authority, and if I go up in that single-engine airplane tonight, out from under authority, I'm not safe.  And if you go up with me, you're not safe, either."  And, you know, he understood that.  And the question, then, I raise is, well, does that mean if I go up in that single-engine airplane that it's going to crash – probably not, I don't know.  But when you live under authority, it doesn't really matter.  You say, "Does a twin-engine airplane never crash?"  Yes, sometimes they do.  So you say, "What's the difference?" Well, in my mind, the difference is if a plane goes down, and I'm under authority, then I have the confidence that I'm right in the middle of God's will for my life.  But if I step out from under that covering and that protection that God has provided for me, then I make myself vulnerable to the realm, the influence, the attacks of Satan himself, which is why the Scripture says that rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft.  Because in stepping out from under God's protection and the authority he has placed into our lives, we open up our lives to the attack, the realm, the influence of Satan himself, and that's a dangerous place to be. Bob: In that moment, did you wrestle at all with the reasonableness of the restriction?  You're standing alone at the airport.  There is one plane.  You've got a mission to accomplish, you're trying to share the Gospel.  Did you think to yourself, "This was not a reasonable request in the first place, and maybe just this once I ought to violate it because it doesn't appear like we have any other options?" Nancy: I'm sure, although it was many years ago, I'm sure I did feel some of that at the time, and I know I have felt that way in many other instances.  But then I have to come back to what is the purpose of my life?  It's to glorify God.  How do I glorify God?  By obedience to His Word and His ways, and so many issues are simplified in my life if I will just go back to the Scripture and say, "What is God's way?  What is God's pattern?"  Not, "Do I like this?  Am I comfortable with it?  Does it make sense to me?"  But Jesus is Lord, so what does that mean for my life and for all of us in relationships where there is authority that has been established by God.  That means the willingness to bow, to surrender my will, and to say, "Not my will, but Your will be done." Dennis: Nancy, there are some of our listeners who are married to husbands who are not spiritual at all.  They don't trust their husbands' reasoning, his rationale, why he decided to do what he's done.  He's trying to take our kids fishing on Sunday morning; doesn't want them to go to church – not just one Sunday but Sunday after Sunday after Sunday.  Is there any appeal in that situation? Nancy: Well, certainly, there is, and let me back up to what you said – the woman does not trust her husband's reasoning.  Ultimately, as women, our trust is not in that husband or that man, but our trust is in God.  This is what 1 Peter 3 talks about – the holy women of old who trusted in God, and then it gives Sarah as an illustration.  Because she trusted in God, she obeyed her husband, Abraham, calling him "lord."  That's a pretty strong term, and we don't like that today, but she gave to him under – it was lowercase "L," lord, not capital "L."  God is Lord with a capital "L," but because her trust was in God the Lord, then she was able to obey her husband, to call him lord, little "L," and at times Abraham made decisions for his family that, at times, were not wise. Dennis: In fact, they were deceptive.  He asked Sarah to lie. Nancy: But Sarah found protection, and 1 Peter 3 tells us freedom from fear because her heart was to obey her husband.  Now, scripturally, we are not to sin in obeying an authority, and that's where, if we believe that authority is giving us direction that is clearly contrary to the Word of God, not just contrary to our personal preferences or feelings about things, but contrary to the Word of God that would cause us to sin, then we walk through the process of appeal.  And I think many of us don't have the patience to be willing to wait on God to change the heart of the authority.  You see, Proverbs tells us that the king's heart is in the hand of the Lord, and the Lord turns the heart of that king as the rivers of water.  The greatest evidence of how big I believe God is, is my willingness to trust God to work through authorities that He's placed in my life and to give Him time to change the heart of that authority.  I may be a part of that process by going to the authority, making an appeal, but even as we do, I think it's so important that our spirit be one of humility. Those who are parents know that when your child comes to you and says, "You've told me to do this, but I don't agree.  You're off the wall, get off my back, I'm not going to do this."  Well, the parent is going to tend to stiffen in response to an attitude like that on the part of a teenager.  But can you imagine one of your daughters, Dennis, coming to you and saying, "Dad, I know that you have my best interests at heart, and I know that you want what is best for my life, but I prayed about this decision, and I sense that perhaps God is giving me a different direction.  I'm going to obey what you've said, but would you be willing to reconsider, to think this through and to pray this through and see if God would give you a different answer." Well, you're going to fall on the floor first, and then, because of a humble and obedient spirit in that teenager, you're going to be willing to go back to the Lord and to say, "Did I really get the right direction here?" Bob: Is it okay, Nancy for a woman to be an active receiver?  And here is what I mean by that – sometimes Mary Ann will come to me, and she'll say, "I need your help on something.  I need you to think this through and let me know what you think I ought to do."  And I'll say, "Okay, I'll do that.  I'll pray about that, and I'll do that." And then I kind of set it aside, get distracted, don't really think about it.  A couple of days later she may come back to me and say, "You remember that issue?  I still need your help on that, and I'm looking for your direction." She is nudging me … Nancy: She is being your helper.   Bob: Yes, she is. Nancy: This is what God made her to be.  But I think, as women, we need to be careful that in doing that, we don't intimidate, and we have to know, as women, what is the heart, what are the needs, how can we best serve and help the men that God's placed us under? Bob: Yeah, I brought that up, Dennis, because I appreciate my wife coming back and nudging me a second or a third time, because I do get distracted, and just as Nancy said, she is being my helper when she asks me to initiate. Dennis: I think a lot of people listen to conversations like we're having here, and they equate responder and submission to weakness and to being a pushover. Nancy: Well, let me say this – the Scripture does say that the woman is the weaker vessel. Dennis: Well, she may be weaker physically, but in her role, she's powerful. Nancy: She's powerful by fulfilling the role of the responder and the one who comes under authority. Bob: Exactly. Dennis: And the question I wanted to get to right here is a friend of mine who has got a daughter who is college – she is stout, she is strong.  Now, she's still a woman, and she's still a weaker vessel, that's not the issue here.  But she is very gifted, a leader, and I think you can probably identify with this, Nancy.  She has a lot of abilities, but she is a girl, she is a woman.  And my friend, who is her father, is attempting to raise her to be God's woman, and he is struggling with how do I raise this young lady to be all that God intended while possessing these public gifts, these leadership gifts?  Are you saying, by being a responder, that you can't be a leader? Nancy: We're not saying that God is asking women not to utilize the strengths and the gifts that He has given to them but to do so within the framework of acknowledging that God made that husband or that father or that male leadership in the church to have the primary responsibility for leading, and that her role is in helping him, assisting him, coming under his covering and protection. Now, the wise man will receive input and will maximize the gifts, the abilities, that God has given to his wife, but, see, we're also operating on a very 20th century and Western mindset that we have a right to exercise all of our gifts and that our purpose in life is to fulfill all of our gifts.  My purpose in life is not to fulfill all my gifts.  My purpose in life is to bring glory to God.  And if, at times, that means that God's will is that some of those gifts and strengths be put on the shelf or not be as noticed or as utilized.  It's up to God.  I am surrendered to be used however God would be most glorified, and that may mean that I'm not at the forefront, that I'm not taking the leadership or the reigns if God would receive more glory through that.   Bob: And if that's going to happen, it means that women are going to have to be taking their cues not from the culture but from the Scriptures.  They are going to have to be renewing their mind on the truth of God's Word and what God has to say about what it means to be a woman and not taking their cues from the magazines that are in the racks at the supermarket as you're checking out. Nancy, you've written on this subject in a variety of settings.  You wrote a little booklet called "A Biblical Portrait of Womanhood," that tens of thousands of women have read and passed on and have found very helpful.  We've got in our FamilyLife Resource Center , and it's available to our listeners if you'd like to get a copy. Then you've also written a bestselling book called "Lies Women Believe and the Truth That Sets Them Free," along with a variety of books – a book on surrender, a book on holiness, a book on brokenness, a study guide called "Seeking Him, Experiencing the Joy of Personal Revival."  We have a number of your books in our FamilyLife Resource Center, and if our listeners are interested in getting more information about what's available, the easiest thing to do is go to our website, which is FamilyLife.com.  On the right side of the screen, you'll see a box that says "Today's Broadcast," and if you click where it says "Learn More," that will take you to an area of the site where you can get more information about the resources Nancy has written.  You can order them from our website, FamilyLife.com, or if it's easier to call 1-800-FLTODAY and place an order over the phone, you can do that as well. Again, the website is FamilyLife.com, the toll-free number is 1-800-FLTODAY, and then don't forget the conference that is coming up in Chicago in October – October 8th through the 11th.  It's a national conference for women called True Woman '08, and it features a number of speakers including Nancy Leigh DeMoss and Barbara Rainey, Joni Eareckson Tada, Janet Parshall, Pastor John Piper is going to be speaking there, Keith and Kristin Getty are going to be leading the worship at the conference, and it looks like it is on the way to being a sellout event. So if our listeners are interested, they ought to register as quickly as they can.  Again, our website is FamilyLife.com, and there is a link there that will take you to the True Woman '08 website where you can get registered and plan to attend this two-and-a-half-day national conference for women in Chicago in October. And I want to be quick to add here that women are not alone in terms of confusion about what it means to be what God created you to be.  Men are struggling with this as well, and this month we've been making available a CD for our listeners on the subject of masculinity and understanding it biblically and keeping it in biblical balance.  It's a message from our friend, Stu Weber, that we call "Applied Masculinity."  Stu is a pastor and a retired Army Ranger, a Green Beret, and this message is a terrific message for men.  We're making it available this month when you help support the ministry of FamilyLife Today with a donation of any amount.  Because we are listener-supported, these donations are essential to keep our program on the air on this station and on other stations all across the country. So we hope you'll consider making a donation, and if you'd like to receive the CD with the message from Stu Weber, as you fill out your donation form on the Internet, just type the word "Stu" in the keycode box.  That's s-t-u – again, you'll see a box that says "Keycode," and you just type s-t-u in there, or call 1-800-FLTODAY.  You can make a donation over the phone.  Again, it's 1-800-358-6329. When you make your donation just mention that you'd like a copy of the CD form Stu Weber called "Applied Masculinity," and we're happy to send it out to you.  We really do appreciate your financial partnership with us here in the ministry of FamilyLife Today. Tomorrow we're going to continue to look at what it means to be God's woman according to God's Word with our guest, Nancy Leigh DeMoss.  We hope you can be back with us as well. I want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.  On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.  We'll see you back tomorrow for another edition of FamilyLife Today.  FamilyLife Today is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas – help for today; hope for tomorrow.   _______________________________________________________________We are so happy to provide these transcripts for you. However, there is a cost to transcribe, create, and produce them for our website. If you've benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider donating today to help defray the costs?Copyright © FamilyLife. All rights reserved. www.FamilyLife.com 

A Biblical Portrait of Womanhood (Part 1) - Nancy Leigh DeMossA Biblical Portrait of Womanhood (Part 2) - Nancy Leigh DeMossA Biblical Portrait of Womanhood (Part 3) - Nancy Leigh DeMossA Biblical Portrait of Womanhood (Part 4) - Nancy Leigh DeMossA Biblical Portrait of Womanhood (Part 5) - Nancy Leigh DeMossFamilyLife Today® Radio Transcript  References to conferences, resources, or other special promotions may be obsolete. A Woman After God's Own Heart Day 4 of 5 Guest:                        Nancy Leigh DeMoss From the series:       A Biblical Portrait of Womanhood                                   Bob: If someone told you, as a woman, that your life should be about servanthood, about serving others, would it cause your back to stiffen a little bit?  Here's Nancy Leigh DeMoss. Nancy: For us, as women, to be willing to give our lives – that's the whole message of the cross – it's a pouring out of my life, it's a laying down of my life, it's being willing to spend and be spent on behalf of others.  There is no higher role in the kingdom of God than to be a servant, and we need to lift it back up to its exalted state. Bob: This is FamilyLife Today for Thursday, June 19th.  Our host is the president of FamilyLife, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.  When it comes to assuming our responsibilities as men and women, it often means we have to live in a way that doesn't come naturally. And welcome to FamilyLife Today, thanks for joining us on the Thursday edition.  We're looking this week at what the Bible has to say about femininity and how we can understand biblical womanhood by looking at what the Scriptures say about what it means to be truly feminine. Dennis: And, at this point, I feel like a pastor friend of mine who gave a message on this one time, who held up a sign at the beginning of the sermon that said, "I love women."  He walked out and held it up and said, "I am about to teach what the Bible says here, but understand this – I love women."  He said, "I'm married to one, and I have daughters, and I have friends."  And he just wanted the ladies in the audience to know that this wasn't from a heart of wanting to put down anyone but, indeed, exalt.  And to help us do that here in the studio for a fourth day is Nancy Leigh DeMoss.  Nancy, welcome back. Nancy: Thank you, Dennis. Dennis: And, Nancy, we've been talking about the picture of what a true woman is and what she does, and we've talked about being a responder, a helper, a cheerleader, and one of the things you talk about in this portrait you've painted is that a woman is a servant.  How so?  How is she uniquely a servant? Nancy: You know, Dennis, it's interesting to me that in the New Testament when the Scripture speaks of service being rendered to Jesus while He was here on this earth, that every time that service is rendered by either an angel or by a woman, and there is no question that Scripture teaches that all of us, as believers, are to have servants' hearts, and that we are never more like Jesus than when we're serving. But I believe there is a distinctive role for those of us as women, as helpers to the men, to be in a serving role.  It's interesting that in 1 Timothy, chapter 5, where Paul is talking about what qualifies a widow to be cared for by the church, to have her needs met by the church, she has to have lived a certain kind of life before she was a widow.  And in verse 10 of that passage, 1 Timothy, chapter 5, Paul lists the things that must have been true of her while she was a married woman if she is going to qualify as a widow to be cared for by the church.  She has to have brought up children, she is to have lodged strangers, provided hospitality, she is to have washed the feet of the saints, served the people of God in practical ways, she is to have relieved the afflicted.   I think we see in this passage a pattern for all of us, as women, whether married or single, that there are roles and ways that we can practically serve those in the body of Christ and those outside the body of Christ, in ways that, by many women, have been considered demeaning or insignificant but when rendered in the name of Christ, they become extremely significant. Dennis: I like what you're saying here.  You're saying that we need to be looking at this list that Paul speaks about here and be training our daughters to have hearts that are enlarged for God to be creating good works on behalf of others. Nancy: You know, one of my favorite women in the Scripture is a little-known woman known Dorcas who, as you remember, lived in the town of Joppa, and she died, and when she died, all the widows of the town began to weep, because she had spent her life not leading some massive organization, not being a crusader or a campaigner, but she had lived her life making clothes and providing for the physical material needs of the widows in the town.  And it's interesting that Peter the Apostle took time out of his busy schedule to come to Joppa to perform a miracle and raise her from the dead and, really, all we're told about her is that her contribution was to minister to the needs of these widows.  That was why she was loved, that's why she was appreciated, that was the influence, the impact, the power of her life, was in that serving way. Dennis: And you're saying that she was uniquely being a woman at that point? Nancy: She was and, again, not to say – and there is so much emphasis today on men being servants to their wives and to their children – again, this is the heart of Jesus who stooped to wash the feet of his disciples.  But, you know, it's politically correct in the evangelical world today for us to talk about men serving their wives and children.  But when we begin the talk about wives who are distinctly made by God to be helpers to their husbands, wives coming into the role of servant – well, that kind of rubs the cat the wrong way, and it shouldn't. Dennis: You mentioned that in one audience you got a standing ovation when speaking to a Christian group, and in another part of the country when you mentioned the same truth, there was a deafening silence. Nancy: I've had women say to me, and we've heard it, and all of us have thought it, all of those of us who are women have thought, "I'm not going to be the slave around here.  I am not going to be a doormat."  Well, I'll tell you, a doormat has a function and a purpose; it has a design, it is useful.  And for us, as women, to be willing to give our lives – that's the whole message of the cross – it's a pouring out of my life, it's a laying down of my life, it's being willing to spend and be spent on behalf of others.  There is no higher role in the kingdom of God than to be a servant and we need to lift it back up to its exalted state. Bob: As you said that a doormat has a function, I thought to myself, what is that function?  As you come into a house, it's to clean feet.  And then I thought, what's the human equivalent of a doormat?  It's someone who would wash the dirty feet of people coming into the house.  And who did that?  Jesus Christ.  So in a very real sense, a foot-washer is a doormat.  It's fulfilling the same function, and Jesus said, "I voluntarily become the doormat for you." Dennis: And yet today, if we went on this broadcast and said, "Wives, we want to encourage you to be a doormat," what would happen? Nancy: You'd get a few letters. Dennis: You'd get a few letters. Bob: We might not be here for tomorrow's broadcast. Dennis: If we said we want them to be like Jesus Christ, "Yay, we can agree with that."  But at the point when you start putting this down to a practical level where Jesus lived, and, Bob, you make a great point.  I think the world is crowding us in, and it's creating caricatures of Christianity where we need to be careful and say, "Wait a second.  Do we want to be Christlike or do we want to have self-fulfillment?"  I'm not sure you can have both.  I think there's a lot of encouragement of women today to seek their own rights, to seek their own fulfillment, to maximize their gifts and, certainly, I want Barbara's gifts to be maximized.  I want to help her to do that.  But she is most powerful when she is being God's woman, and I want my daughters to do the same. Bob: You've talked about this servanthood and how it's uniquely fulfilled in the life of a woman in the qualities listed in 1 Timothy 5, verse 10.  Men are called to be servants, too, and yet the context for female servanthood, according to that list, seems to be a relational nurturing kind of context.  That's really a part of what's at the heart of being a woman, isn't it? Nancy: It is, and I think a wonderful picture of that in the Scripture is that passage that we're so familiar with in Proverbs, chapter 31.  There we have a picture of a woman who does a lot of household tasks, a lot of specific serving responsibilities, but it's in the context of her role as a wife and as a mother; as a nurturer of life in that home, as the maker of a home.  You find in that passage there is only reference to her doing anything for herself and that's that she is dressing in a way that will be pleasing to her husband.  In that context, she is fulfilling these responsibilities not just to keep a clean house and to keep well-clothed kids, but to minister love and service and grace, to be a means of the grace of God flowing into the life of that home. There is a distinctive call of the woman to be a nurturer.  It is the woman who is able to bear life, it is the woman who is able to nurse that infant child and as this is physically true, so there is a distinctive privilege that the woman has to pour that grace into her family. Dennis: Nancy, you're not married.  You have not given life by virtue of bearing a baby and giving birth, but you are a nurturer and a bearer of life.  How so? Nancy: I just believe God has made all of us, as women, to be bearers and nurturers of life, to encourage life to grow, to help create a climate where others around us can grow, and I have devoted my life, as a single woman, to investing in the lives of others – other younger women, children, and even the men that I serve within our ministry, investing in their marriages and their families and helping to create a climate where they are encouraged to be all God wants them to be. Dennis: Practically speaking, how have you done that? Nancy: I think if you were to talk with the families that I serve alongside of, they would tell you that they know that I pray for their marriages, that I pray for their children.  They would know that I am a friend to their sons and daughters.  I'll be leaving here today, Lord willing, flying back to Michigan to be at the volleyball game of the daughter of one of our staff to be an encourager, a cheerleader, there for her interest that she's developing.  And by having that kind of role in the life of that daughter, there is also the opportunity to have an inroad into her heart. Bob: Every parent prays for those outside influences in the lives of their sons and daughters, whether it's another mother, a single person – you pray that there will be those folks who come along strategically, and we've seen it happen with our kids as they've grown up, and they'll say, "Boy, I sure like Mrs. So-and-So, she's nice.  I like hanging around with her."  And we go how grateful we are, because we know Mrs. So-and-So, and we know she'll be a godly influence in the life of a daughter or of a son.   What a powerful, nurturing role a mom can have not only in the life of her children but in the lives of her children's friends.  What a powerful role a single woman can have by looking around at the children in her neighborhood, in her church, in her community and saying, "I'm going to assume some responsibility to be a nurturer to those kids even though I'm not the one tucking them in at night or the one who is driving them to school in the morning." Dennis: And practically speaking, I'll brag on Nancy at this point.  Our family enjoyed dinner with her a couple of nights ago, and those girls were so excited about the arrival of Nancy at our home, and Nancy is modeling for them how she is investing in their lives by being interested in their pictures and what clutters their room, and the stories of their lives and a cheerleader and an encourager.   When those girls become adults, I've got to believe at that point, Bob, they are going to reflect back on an older, single woman who stepped down and into their lives who believed in them and who loved them and encouraged them and didn't just do it at one point but stayed in touch through letters, e-mail, phone calls, little touches along the way, that says, "I love you and I believe in you, and I'm going to be a nurturer of life in your life." Bob: We think of the nurturing function as primarily a mother/daughter or a mother/son kind of a nurturing, and yet Titus 2, as it talks about older women coming alongside and equipping younger women – that's as much a part of nurturing as bearing children, isn't it, Nancy? Nancy: It is, and let me say that every woman is an older woman to some other woman.  The 18-year-old young woman is an older woman to the 15-year-old woman.  And now as approach my 40s, I find that there are some more women that are younger women, and that I have a responsibility to leave a legacy for the next generation; to invest in the lives of the next generation. Dennis: And I'll tell you, I can't tell you how strongly I feel about this one – this is one of the areas where I believe the church is missing a phenomenal opportunity.  We have scores of women today in the church who I think need to have this portrait put before them and painted so that they can have a vision for the next two decades or three decades of their lives, even beyond the empty nest.   I am getting letters from friends who are at the same stage of life as us, and they are saying, "What's our vision for us, as a couple, and my wife with the empty nest?"  And I'm going, "It's in the Bible."  And this is so valuable and you know what – it's not only so valuable, it's a necessity and one of the most powerful ways a mom can impress her daughters to do this is by modeling this.   Bob: And, you know, we've talked about how a woman can be a mentor to younger women and fulfill a nurturing role or how she can be a friend to her children's friends and fulfill her nurturing function in that, and yet as I've talked with Mary Ann about all of those opportunities that are available to her, I have said none of those can ever crowd out or get in the way of your primary nurturing function at this stage of your life, which is Amy, Katy, Jimmy, John, and David.  You have five kids at home, and they're my kids,too.  We both have a responsibility but, as a mom, you have a primary nurturing responsibility.  Your top investment has got to be in the lives of those children. Nancy: And, Bob, as a single woman, I want to applaud and affirm and celebrate those women who are out there today doing what God has called them to do – being mothers.  And applaud their willingness to have children in a world that has told us you have the right to control your own body.  And yet I thank the Lord that my mother was willing to have seven children.  At that time considered a very, very large family but for her willingness to lay down her life in giving birth and nurturing and rearing up a family; now children grown and following the Lord and reproducing her and my dad's heart in this world. We don't think of Jochebed, perhaps, as a significant woman in her own right, but when we think of how God used her offspring, how God used her son Moses, to give to the world the law of God, then we have a woman who had an incredible impact in our world. Dennis: Let me illustrate this from my own wife's life and brag on Barbara a bit here – we have a retreat that is away from the offices here in Little Rock, and it's a prestigious retreat that Barbara and I have been asked to go to, and Barbara was going to be on the program with me and do some question and answer and also be available to minister and encourage people, and she enjoys that. But, I promise you, she enjoys being a mom even more.  And so Rebecca had not only been nominated for Homecoming Court, but she had made Homecoming Court, and guess which weekend it fell on – the same weekend as this particular conference.  Now, this conference and our commitment had been for more than a year, and it's unfortunate that it fell on a time when my daughter has made Homecoming.  But we're delaying her arrival by three days to this particular retreat so that Barbara can stay home, help celebrate and anticipate the moment. I think that's the kind of commitment today that our daughters are going to remember when they become adults.  They're going to remember those special times with their mother. Bob: Well, and I have to suppose, as well, Dennis, that if you could look around right now at the women you know who are 60, 70 years old, you can probably tell, just by their spirit, by their countenance, who invested their lives as nurturers and who didn't.  You would probably see, in the face of a nurturing 70-year-old woman a radiance that is not on the face of one who invested her life in something other than nurturing her own children, younger women, the children in the neighborhood, whomever.  Mary Ann, last night, was at an Owanna [sp] meeting with the second-grade girls, hearing their Bible verses.  Now, is that how she wanted to spend her Wednesday evening?  She could have probably picked a couple-dozen other things, that if she was picking for her own fulfillment, she would have chosen to do. But she is building an inheritance that is an eternal inheritance and one that will provide her with peace and fulfillment in her later years. Dennis: And it strikes me, Nancy, whether you're a single person, like you, investing in other people's marriages or their kids or in single women's lives – all those are statements of this feminine portrait that we're talking about here of being a nurturer and a bearer of life; one who helps to give life to others.  And if you start doing that when you're young, then as you grow older, you're going to do this naturally up until the time you die.  This is what it means to be a woman regardless of your age or regardless of your physical ability to bear children. Nancy: And ultimately the joys, the rewards of a life invested that way cannot be compared with the rewards of a woman having had her own life, her own career, her own job.  The women who are reaping the blessing of God in their lives are those who have laid down their lives for their families and for the families of others. Dennis: I feel like we've given women who listened to today's broadcast a beautiful portrait of being a servant, a nurturer, a bearer of life, so that their lives will be rich and full.  And I would just challenge you, if you're a woman, to find a way today to be an encourager of life in somebody's life – just step out and be God's woman, whether it be in your children's life and bringing life to them, or whether it be to a younger woman in your church or at work – come alongside them and perhaps take them out for lunch or spend some time over a cup of coffee, or give them a phone call tonight and just encourage another person – but to cultivate that feminine side that God created you to use as a woman. Bob: And I think one of the ways a woman prepares herself to do that more regularly is by reading and thinking about and praying through the kinds of things we've talked about on today's program and by getting copies of some of the books that Nancy has written.  She has written a booklet called "A Biblical Portrait of Womanhood."  Of course, she's written the bestseller "Lies Women Believe."  All of the resources, all of the books that Nancy has written are designed to help women press these kinds of biblical qualities that exemplify godly womanhood into her heart, and we've got a number of these resources in our FamilyLife Resource Center, and a lot of these would be good resources for mothers and daughters to read through together. I'm thinking of a book like the book Nancy wrote on surrender.  It's a great book for a mother and daughter to just read through a chapter at a time and say, "What did you think?  What did you see in that chapter that caused you to examine your own heart and say, 'This is an area where I need to grow.'" Or get a copy of "Lies Young Women Believe," the new book that Nancy and Danna Gresh have written together, and go through that as a mother and a daughter.  Summertime is a great time to do that, and we've got these resources in our FamilyLife Resource Center.  You can go online at FamilyLife.com.  If you click on the right side of the home page where you see "Today's Broadcast," that will take you through to an area of the site where there is more information about a number of resources Nancy has written. Again, the website is FamilyLife.com, and you want to click on the right side of the home page where it says "Today's Broadcast."  You can order any of these resources online from us if you'd like, or if it's easier to call 1-800-FLTODAY to request these resources, you can do that as well – 1-800-358-6329, that's 1-800-F-as-in-family, L-as-in-life, and then the word TODAY.  On our website, you'll also find information about the upcoming True Woman '08 event that's taking place in Chicago – a national conference for women happening October 8th through the 11th, and it looks like it could be a soldout event.  So if listeners are interested in coming, getting a group of women together and being at this national conference that features Nancy Leigh DeMoss, Pastor John Piper, Joni Eareckson Tada, Barbara Rainey, Janet Parshall, other speakers – Keith and Kristyn Getty leading the worship – all of the information is available by going to our website at FamilyLife.com, and you can click through to the True Woman website and get details or register online for the upcoming True Woman '08 conference. Let me encourage you, when you do get in touch with us, to keep in mind that FamilyLife Today is a listener-supported ministry.  Your financial support of this ministry with occasional donations is what keeps us on the air in this city and in other cities all across the country.  And this month we are saying thank you to you when you support this ministry with a gift of any amount by sending, upon request, a CD of a message from Stu Weber on the subject of biblical masculinity.  We've been talking about biblical femininity today.  This message, from a retired Army Ranger and Green Beret, Stu Weber, is a message that helps us understand the biblical balance between being a leader and being aggressive as a man, and yet being tender and being compassionate as a man. And the CD is, again, our gift to you when you help support the ministry of FamilyLife Today.  If you are donating online at FamilyLife.com, you'll come to a keycode box on the donation form.  Just type the word "Stu" in there, s-t-u, and we'll know to send you a copy of this CD.  Or call 1-800-FLTODAY, make a donation over the phone and ask for the CD about manhood or the CD from Stu Weber.  Again, we're happy to send it out to you, and we appreciate your financial support. Tomorrow we want to talk about how a woman in the 21st century ought to view subjects like modesty and chastity and purity.  We'll have that conversation tomorrow with our guest, Nancy Leigh DeMoss.  I hope you can be here for it. I want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.  On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.  We'll see you back next time for another edition of FamilyLife Today.  FamilyLife Today is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas – help for today; hope for tomorrow.  _______________________________________________________________We are so happy to provide these transcripts for you. However, there is a cost to transcribe, create, and produce them for our website. If you've benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider donating today to help defray the costs?Copyright © FamilyLife. All rights reserved. www.FamilyLife.com 

A Biblical Portrait of Womanhood (Part 1) - Nancy Leigh DeMossA Biblical Portrait of Womanhood (Part 2) - Nancy Leigh DeMossA Biblical Portrait of Womanhood (Part 3) - Nancy Leigh DeMossA Biblical Portrait of Womanhood (Part 4) - Nancy Leigh DeMossA Biblical Portrait of Womanhood (Part 5) - Nancy Leigh DeMossFamilyLife Today® Radio Transcript  References to conferences, resources, or other special promotions may be obsolete. Becoming a Woman of Character Day 5 of 5 Guest:                        Nancy Leigh DeMoss From the series:       A Biblical Portrait of Womanhood                                   Bob: One of the ways for a woman to tell if she's been influenced by the ideology of feminism is to examine her own thinking and see if there is a root of selfishness present there.  Here is Nancy Leigh DeMoss. Nancy: If I say my body is my own, I will run my own life, it doesn't matter what men see or what they think, I am living for myself.  But if I am willing to embrace God's plan for my life, then I say, "When I dress or behave or talk or act in any way, if it is a way that tears down and harms men rather than helping them and building them up, then I have failed in my divine purpose." Bob: This is FamilyLife Today for Friday, June 20th.  Our host is the president of FamilyLife, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.  What should a 21st century woman think about subjects like chastity and purity and modesty?  We'll talk about it today.  Stay tuned. And welcome to FamilyLife Today, thanks for joining us on the Friday edition.  This week we've been looking at womanhood from a biblical perspective, and it's interesting, the Bible says that all of us are to be people of godly character and yet there are some things, there are some character qualities or characteristics that the Bible would point to as being distinctively feminine, and that's what we want our focus to be about in this time together today. Dennis: It's interesting, you hear all kinds of messages to men about being men of character, but I can't recall a message to women on being women of character. Nancy: And yet it's interesting that the Scripture has so very much to say about the character of women. Dennis: Yes.   Bob: Which is why we wanted to get into the subject today and let me, if I can, Dennis, introduce for the listeners who don't recognize our guest's voice, Nancy Leigh DeMoss is joining us this week.  Nancy is the host of a daily radio program called "Revive Our Hearts," that is heard on many of the same stations that carry our program, FamilyLife Today.  She is an author and is going to be hosting a national conference for women in Chicago coming up in October.  It's called True Woman '08. A number of speaks who are going to be there, including Janet Parshall and Joni Eareckson Tada, your wife, Barbara, is going to be there, our friend, Karen Loritts is going to join Nancy, and John Piper is also going to be speaking at this conference.  And I know Mary Ann is looking forward to being at the conference. If our listeners are interested in more information about how they can attend the national True Woman '08 conference in Chicago, they can go to our website, FamilyLife.com, click where it says "Today's Broadcast," and there is a link there that will take them to the registration area for True Woman '08, and they can plan to be a part of that conference. And I know one of the things you're going to talk about at the conference is how women can better understand what we've been talking about this week – biblical femininity.  And there are a lot of components to that portrait.  Help us out – if a woman wants to be all God wants her to be, as a woman, what is the starting place for her? Nancy: Again, we have to go back to the Scripture and not let the world press us into its mold but go back and draw our understanding and our authority from the Scripture.  I think of a passage such as 1 Peter, chapter 3, known to many of us, as women, but if we go back and examine that passage, it has so much to say about our character, as women.  It's talking about, in this specific context, a woman who has an unsaved husband.  How does she influence his life?  How does she help to draw him toward Christ?   And I say to women often, as they come to one of my seminars, "Now, you may be going back into a home where your husband doesn't necessarily see all these truths," and I say to them, "Don't start putting tracts in his cereal bowl or putting your seminar notes under his pillow."  The Scripture talks about a much more powerful means of influence; it talks about our subjection, and we talked about that earlier this week, about the coming under authority, but then it talks about our pure, chaste behavior.  And the other passages that shed light on this in the New Testament talk about a woman of modesty in the way that she conducts herself, in the way that she dresses, a woman whose heart is pure, a woman who is morally pure. You know, we used to have to address the subject of moral purity just with men, but now we find today that in our sensual culture that many, many women struggle with these issues of fantasizing of the books and novels that they are reading, the magazines that they are reading, the TV programs that they're watching that are fueling immoral thoughts and behavior in their lives, and the Scripture says the woman of God, a true woman, is the woman who has pure behavior.  She is chaste in her behavior. Dennis: Yes, and it's interesting that purity of heart is expressed in the way she not only behaves but in the way that she dresses. Nancy: The Scripture tells us that a wise woman builds her home, but a foolish woman is going to tear it down, and in the Book of Proverbs, one of the ways that a foolish woman tears down the men around her is with the way that she dresses and the way that she carries herself.  Proverbs 7 talks about a woman who sets out to entice or to ensnare a man who is simple, who is naïve, who is lacking wisdom.  And one of the ways she does that is by provocative dress. Bob: Do you think there is any difference between God's call to a woman being chaste and pure and His call to a man to be morally pure? Nancy: Well, certainly, both created in the image of God and both redeemed by the grace of God, we are to be pure in heart toward God, but the Scripture talks about specific characteristics that will be true of a woman if she is not pure or if she is pure.   For example, Proverbs talks about a woman who is loud and stubborn and her feet abide not in her house.  She is brash, she is bold, she is brazen, and Proverbs tells us that as a jewel of gold in a swine's snout, so is a beautiful woman, a woman who is outwardly beautiful, but she lacks discretion.   And I think about – a pig is a pig is a pig.  You can put designer clothes on that pig, and you can put makeup on it and give it a designer handbag and expensive jewels, but it's still a pig, and I think that so many of us, as women today, are outwardly adorning and dressing up and fixing up something that in its heart is a pig. And the Scripture says if a woman, though she may be outwardly beautiful, does not have discretion, if she is not discreet in the way that she carries herself and handles her relationships with men and with those in her family, that all that outward adorning is of little value and really is ludicrous if it's put on someone who doesn't have a godly heart. Dennis: You know, one of the things I pray frequently for my daughters is that they will have discretion, and occasionally one of them will stop me in that prayer and say, "Dad, what do you mean, discretion?  What are you talking about there?"  And they'll get a chance to talk about being a woman who is wise about how she behaves and how she carries herself in the presence of men.  And 1 Timothy, chapter 2, verse 9, I think, really outlines how a woman is to carry herself.  It says, "Likewise, I want women to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly.  Not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly garments but rather by means of good works as befits women making a claim to godliness." Now, that reminds us of the goal.  The goal is not physical beauty.  The goal is a woman whose life is a portrait of feminine beauty that glorifies God; that is Christ-like.  I want my daughters to understand at points that a hemline that's too high, a neckline that's too low, a dress that fits too tight, are all moving them away from godliness toward provoking the opposite sex to be interested in them for the wrong reasons.  It takes a dad stepping into their lives sometimes and a mom doing so at the same time to reinforce this.  I'm going to tell a practical illustration of this from this summer, and this was really interesting, because last summer another family and ours joined together to have one of these old-fashioned pictures made – you know, a western picture where you get the guns that are 100 years old, and you get the chaps and all this stuff.  And our daughters, all of our daughters, had put on outfits that were appropriate for a bar scene.  Now, how shall I say it, okay?  And it's amazing how quickly these things can happen.  I mean, in an instant, boom, that other dad and I were faced with a choice.   To me, there was no choice.  We were about to take a picture, and it looks harmless and fun, and I don't think our daughters had anything malicious in their minds when they did this, but what happened was they got together with some other teenagers at that point, and they put these dresses on, and they were inappropriate.  And so we said, "Hold it.  You've got to redo this." But it's interesting, Nancy, at that point, all of that occurred with two mothers kind of involved in the process, kind of unaware of what had happened.  It really just kind of snuck up on them. Bob: Well, and I think one of the reasons that dads noticed it right off is because the nature of the dress is provocative to men.  And it might take a few minutes longer for that to sink in with women who aren't immediately aware.  I think there are some cases of innocent indiscretion on the part of Christian women who just don't give full thought to what they are wearing or to how that clothing might provoke a response from a man. Dennis: Right, and I think it's at those points, as dads and as men, we've got to be loving, very relational, by the way, and not just pound the table and say, "Take it off."  But instead recognize the culture we are in but nonetheless hold forth the standard of biblical femininity, which we just read – adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly, and use those times as an opportunity to teach. Nancy: And that's where, Dennis, you are fulfilling the role God has entrusted to you as a man, which is to be the protector and the priest and the king in the most loving sense possible of your home, and that's where your daughters are given the opportunity to learn how to fulfill their God-created role, which is to be a helper to the men.  You see, if I say "My body is my own, I will run my own life, it doesn't matter what men see or what they think, I am living for myself."  But if I am willing to embrace God's plan for my life, then I say, "When I dress or behave or talk or act in any way, if it is a way that tears down and harms men rather then helping them and building them up, then I have failed in my divine purpose." Dennis: And, Nancy, as Barbara and I have been in the process of raising four daughters, they are not all the same.  They don't all have the same sensitivity to these issues.  They need help. Nancy: You know, there is an interesting passage in the last chapter of the Song of Solomon that talks about two different kinds of women, and it uses the imagery of a door and of a wall.  The bride describes a little sister that she has who is developing and what kind of woman she will become, and she talks about the kind of woman who is a door, a picture of one who yields easily, who is perhaps flirtatious or bold or indiscreet in her relationships with men.  Then she uses the opposite kinds of pictures as a woman who is like a wall that is firm, her life built on convictions, and she says, "What shall we do for our sister, depending on which of these kind of women she is?"  I've found that women, daughters, younger women and older women, naturally fall into one of these two categories.  And her bridegroom says to her, "If she is a wall, then we will build upon her a palace of silver.  Her life is a foundation fit to build a home for a king."  But he said, "If she is a door, if she gives in easily to the advances of men, if she is naïve in some of these areas, then we will enclosed her with boards of cedar."  We will put parameters around her and tighter restraints for her protection and so that she can develop to the place where she will become a wall. Dennis: And finally grow up and have her own discretion.   Bob: Nancy, there is a passage in Scripture that talks about a woman having a gentle and quiet spirit, and I know a lot of women who think of themselves as naturally in opposition to that passage.  They just think, "This is what God wants.  Why did He make me the way I am, because I am not a gentle and quiet-spirited woman?"  What is that passage talking about and how does a woman develop a gentle and quiet spirit? Nancy: Well, I think, Bob, it's important, first of all, we recognize that the Scripture is not here talking about something that's just a matter of personality.  God made us with different personalities.  Some people are naturally more outgoing than others, and I am a more outgoing type of person.  I can remember, as a younger woman, thinking when I would hear this phrase, I would think of some women I knew who were just very shy and quiet and mousy, and I'd think, "If that's what it means to be a godly woman, I'm not sure that's what I want to be and I'm sure I can't be."  And to deal with the "want to" issue, again, I have to come back to am I willing to let the Word regulate and control my life?  But it's helpful to know that the Scripture is talking here not about my personality as much as the spirit of the woman.  When it speaks of a woman being gentle – another translation renders that as "meek" – this speaks of a woman who is not demanding, who does not insist on having her way and, again, we live in a rights-crazed generation.  We emphasize rights, and we're going to produce rebellion and, in fact, we have.  Rather, we need to be emphasizing responsibility – responsibility to yield my rights.   Even traffic laws recognize that you don't say to someone, "You have the right of way," we say, "You yield the right-of-way."  And, as women, there is a beauty – 1 Peter 3 says, "This is what is beautiful to a woman.  This is what causes God to look at a woman and say, 'She is beautiful.'"  This is what gives a woman her true beauty, because any beauty that is external is fleeting, it is fading, it's not going to last.  But a woman who has beauty of the spirit is going to increase and part of that beauty is a meekness; it's a yielding of her rights; there's a quietness there.  That word means a tranquility that arises from within, causing no disturbance to others.  And the picture here is a woman who trusts in God so she does not have to manipulate her circumstances, she doesn't have to be a controller, she doesn't have to manipulate her husband.  She is a woman who has, because she trusts in God, she has a grateful spirit, and I think that grateful spirit flows out of a meek and a quiet spirit. Dennis: Practically speaking, address the mom who is raising a daughter who may be a little Nancy Leigh DeMoss.  She may have a personality that's very outgoing, she may even be loud.  Very loud, in fact, and, of course … Nancy: Are you saying I'm loud? [laughter] Dennis: I didn't, Nancy.  I was actually thinking of some of my children.  But I was thinking of some hope for Barbara in this process, actually.  What would you say to that mom as she raises a child who may not have a personality that is naturally quiet? Nancy: Again, this is a matter of the heart and of developing a spirit that trusts in God, that does not intimidate or run over other people, and these are issues I've had to continue to have to walk through in my own life.  I can walk into a staff meeting in our ministry where there are mostly men in the room and, without saying a word, at times, or by saying just a few words, can subtly manipulate and control the environment of that room, and that's not the place God has for me.  There are times, as a woman, when I need to not say everything that I'm thinking but to be quiet, to wait on the Lord, to listen to Him, and then when I speak to know that it's God who has given the direction and that when I speak it's with a spirit that is surrendered and yielded and trusting in God that I don't have to be in charge of the world. That's what Satan said to Eve, "You can be like God.  You can be your own god," and the drive of our natural flesh is to run the world.  You know, I just think, you let me have the reins of this ministry or this family or this world, and I'll take it. Bob: If a woman has a gentle and quiet spirit, the output of her life, and I'm thinking particularly of her speech, that's going to be reflected in her communication, isn't it? Nancy: Oh, there's no question, because out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.  Again, if I could hearken back to the Song of Solomon, one of the things this bridegroom appreciates about his bride, he says, "Honey and milk are under your tongue."  He talks about her speech being comely and being beautiful and this being attractive to him.  Think about honey and milk – what do they do?  Honey strengthens that which is weak and milk builds up young, immature bones.  It helps to grow, and I have to ask myself as I read that passage and other passages such as Proverbs 31:26 talks about a woman who opens her mouth with wisdom, and in her tongue is the law of kindness.   And I have to say, "O Lord, set a watch over my mouth and, by Your Holy Spirit control my heart in such a way that the words that I speak will benefit, they will bring grace.  We women can be so cutting, so hurting, so wounding with our tongues, and this is where a woman who uses her tongue to threaten divorce, to cut up and belittle and criticize her man does not perhaps realize how much damage she is doing not only to him but ultimately to their relationship and to their capacity to reflect the glory of God to our world. Bob: And to her own sense of femininity.  She is, essentially, robbing herself at that moment of the womanhood that God wants to display in her. Dennis: Yes, because she's stepping outside of what God created her to be and her character and, Nancy, I'm grateful today that you have – well, you've taken us back to the Bible to take a look at a woman's character but, at the same time, talk about it while painting this portrait of what it means to be a feminine woman. Bob: I know our listeners are grateful, as well, and I know they're grateful for your ministry on "Revive Our Hearts," your daily radio program, you're ministry in writing.  We have a number of your books in our FamilyLife Resource Center including the bestselling book,  "Lies Women Believe."  The booklet called "A Biblical Portrait of Womanhood," your  Bible study guide, "Seeking Him," and many more of the resources that you've created to help women understand God's plan for them.   And if our listeners are interested in any of these resources – and let me just say here, if you haven't read "Lies Women Believe," that's a great place to start.  And you'll find more information about it on our website at FamilyLife.com.  When you get to the home page, look to the right side of the screen.  You'll see a box that says "Today's Broadcast."  Click where it says "Learn More," and that will take you into the area where there is information about the resources that are available from us written by Nancy Leigh DeMoss.   There is also information about the upcoming True Woman '08 conference that's happening in October in Chicago.  This is a national conference for women that features Nancy Leigh DeMoss and Barbara Rainey, John Piper, Janet Parshall, Joni Eareckson Tada, Keith and Kristyn Getty will be there leading worship, and it looks like it's going to be a sold out event.  So if listeners are interested in attending, they ought to register as soon as possible.  Go to our website, FamilyLife.com and, again, click where it says "Today's Broadcast" on the right side of the home page.  That will take you to an area where there is a link to the True Woman '08 conference site, and you can get more information about the upcoming conference or register online, if you'd like. You can also contact us if you're interested in ordering any of Nancy's resources by telephone.  Our number is 1-800-358-6329.  That's 1-800-F-as-in-family, L-as-in-life, and then the word TODAY.   Someone on our team will make arrangements to have the resources you need sent out to you.   When you do get in touch with us, if you can make a donation to help support the ministry of FamilyLife Today, we would appreciate it.  We are listener-supported.  Your donations make a huge difference.  They make it possible for us to be here on this station each day and on other stations all across the country as well.  We appreciate your financial support. This month, when you make a donation of any amount, we would love to send you a CD that features a message from Pastor Stu Weber about what biblical manhood looks like.  It's a message called "Applied Masculinity," and the CD is our gift to you as a way of saying thanks for your financial support of FamilyLife Today. If you are donating online, you will come to a box that says "keycode" out in front of it on the donation form.  Type in the word "Stu" there, s-t-u, and we'll know to send you a copy of the CD on manhood.  Or call 1-800-FLTODAY, make a donation over the phone and just ask for the CD about manhood or the CD from Stu Weber and, again, we're happy to send it to you.  It's our way of saying thanks for your financial support of the ministry of FamilyLife Today.  Dennis? Dennis: Well, this has been a great day, Bob, talking about the character of a feminine woman today and all this week, in fact, and, Nancy, I want to thank you for helping to paint a portrait of what it means to be a biblical woman, a feminine woman and equipping so many women to be that and also helping so many mothers to raise the next generation of young women, and I want to thank you for being on the broadcast. Nancy: It's been a privilege, Dennis, and I've been challenged myself to let God continue to make me into His kind of woman. Dennis: I want to conclude today's broadcast by asking you to pray for all of our women listeners in their assignments because they are varied, and yet we need God to grant them favor where He has them. Nancy: Father, I just want to thank you for Your wisdom and Your divine choice.  And, as women, we just want to come to You and cry out and say that we need You, we need Your mercy, we need You to change us and to make us what You want us to be.  We know that of ourselves we cannot be godly women, that we need the filling of Your Holy Spirit.  So we ask for that, and I ask, Lord, that you would give to us that heart, that spirit, that lifestyle that You find beautiful, that we would reflect what it means to be the bride of Christ with a heart of humility and surrender and brokenness and giving back love as You have loved us. And, Lord, thank you for the men that you are raising up in this generation to provide protection and covering for our lives.  I pray that You would bless them in fulfilling their God-given role and help us, as women, to make it easy for them, and I pray that we will love them and serve them and help them in such a way that one day they can give account with joy; that we make it easy for them to lead; that we encourage them and create a climate where they can be all that You made them to be.   And, Lord, our prayer is that, as women complementing and helping those men that together we will be able to reflect to our world what You are like and that the world will be drawn to know You because of what we have shown them of Your heart and Your ways.  We pray it in Jesus' name, amen. Bob: FamilyLife Today is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas – help for today; hope for tomorrow.  _____________________________________________________________We are so happy to provide these transcripts for you. However, there is a cost to transcribe, create, and produce them for our website. If you've benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider donating today to help defray the costs?Copyright © FamilyLife. All rights reserved. www.FamilyLife.com 

A Biblical Portrait of Womanhood (Part 1) - Nancy Leigh DeMossA Biblical Portrait of Womanhood (Part 2) - Nancy Leigh DeMossA Biblical Portrait of Womanhood (Part 3) - Nancy Leigh DeMossA Biblical Portrait of Womanhood (Part 4) - Nancy Leigh DeMossA Biblical Portrait of Womanhood (Part 5) - Nancy Leigh DeMossFamilyLife Today® Radio Transcript  References to conferences, resources, or other special promotions may be obsolete. God's Woman in Today's Culture Day 1 of 5 Guest:                        Nancy Leigh DeMoss From the series:       A Biblical Portrait of Womanhood Bob: How should we understand womanhood biblically?  And why are we so confused about it, anyway?  Here is Nancy Leigh DeMoss. Nancy: Let me say that I think it is the nature, ever since the fall of man and woman, to chafe against God.  But, for me, the essence of femininity is to embrace the concept of surrender as a woman to become a receiver, a responder, and surrendered to the heart and the will of God. Bob: This is FamilyLife Today for Monday, June 16th.  Our host is the president of FamilyLife, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.  How well does your understanding of womanhood line up with what the Bible teaches?  We'll talk about that today.  Stay tuned. And welcome to FamilyLife Today, thanks for joining us on the Monday edition.  You know, for the last many years, there has been a movement in our country where a lot of men are looking around and asking the question, "What does it mean to be a man?  What does the Scripture teach us about authentic biblical manhood?"  And I think that while that's been going on, Dennis, there have also been a lot of women who are beginning to say, "I'm not so sure I know what it means to be an authentic woman biblically.  I'm not sure I know what the Scriptures teach about biblical womanhood," and that's what we're going to take some time to focus on this week. Dennis: Yes, in Genesis, chapter 1, verse 27, it's clear – "And God created man in His own image, in the image of God, He created him – male and female, He created them."  And God's image is at stake in both men and women, and there has been a great deal of attention that has been given to defining manhood.  But at points it feels like there has been a little bit of a silence concerning a voice of trying to cast a portrait of what it means to be a woman.  And with us here on the broadcast is another man to help us define and paint a portrait of what it means to be a woman. Bob: Hang on, that would be a serious error on your part, technically. Dennis: Do you think that I would be flawed in my judgment, Bob, to bring another male species in here to do that? Bob: I think three men could sit around and attempt to define femininity … Dennis: And we would lose our entire female listening audience. Bob: There would be a lot of women who would say, "I'm not sure you know of what you speak." Dennis: Well, with us in the studio is Nancy Leigh DeMoss.  Nancy is a great friend.  She's been on FamilyLife Today before.  Nancy, welcome back to FamilyLife Today. Nancy: Thank you, Dennis. Dennis: She puts up with us a lot.  She just kind of looks at us and nods and says … Bob: … rolls her eyes … Dennis: … yeah, that's exactly right.  Nancy is a graduate of the University of Southern California.  She has a degree in piano performance.  Nancy, are you really that good?  I've heard you are. Nancy: Well, that's kind of a past-tense part of my life. Dennis: Oh, is it? Bob: I know you haven't had a whole lot of time to do much piano performing in the last several years.  As many of our listeners know, Dennis, Nancy hosts a daily radio program that's heard on many of these same stations.  It's called "Revive our Hearts."  You've been busy writing a number of books including the bestseller, Lies Women Believe," and the companion now, "Lies Young Women Believe."  There has also been a trilogy of books on surrender and brokenness and holiness, and this fall you're going to be involved in a national conference for women in Chicago called "True Woman '08."  Joni Eareckson Tada is going to be speaking there; so is Janet Parshall, John Piper is going to be there, you're going to be there, Dennis; your wife, Barbara, is speaking as part of that conference, and if our listeners are interested in finding out more about True Woman '08 they can go online at FamilyLife.com and click on "Today's Broadcast," and there is a link there that will get them information on how they can attend this national conference taking place in Chicago.  And with all of that going on, there's not a whole lot of time left for piano playing. Dennis: Nancy, we have laughed here early, but there is a great deal of tension when it comes to talking about what it means to being a man or a woman today, and a great deal of confusion.  What do you think has caused this confusion?  What's the greatest contributor to the confusion of what it means to be a woman today? Nancy: Well, let me just give a word of personal testimony here and say that being a woman is not something that I have always embraced with joy myself.  I did have the privilege of growing up in a godly home and under the strong ministry of the Word, but I can remember, as a teenager and young woman, feeling a measure of resentment … Dennis: Really? Nancy: … even, at the fact that God had made me a woman.  And the reason, in my case, was that I so wanted to serve the Lord, had a passion for Christ and for ministry, and in my young thinking, it was men who were best able to do that.  And I had this quiet sense in my heart that if God had made me a man, then I would be better able to serve Him.  I would be able to serve Him more effectively. Dennis: In other words, you viewed your womanhood as a limitation to being used by God in the way that you dreamed of being used. Nancy: I did.  But I want to say that God has been so gracious as I've gone back to the Word of God and sought to draw my understanding from God's Word to see my life as a woman from His point of view, I have come to see that being a woman is a great gift.  I've come to embrace with joy what it means for me to be a woman, and I think part of the difficulty for many of us, as women, as younger women, particularly, is that we've been raised in a culture that is very confused and that has been deeply influenced by the world's way of thinking about what it means to be male or female. Dennis: Well, that's what I was going to ask you.  Did you feel like the culture really contributed to you thinking less of being created as a woman? Nancy: I think there certainly has been a great deal of confusion in the world, and there has been a concerted, intentional effort on the part of many in our world to redefine womanhood; to steal from us, as women, God's purpose for our lives, and I feel, as a result, that women have been robbed of the wonder and the privilege of what it means to be made a woman. Bob: You're obviously not alone.  There are a lot of young women who looked at the landscape and saw it defined along male/female boundaries, and said there are things that the culture will not allow me to do because I am a woman.  And in the church, in the Scriptures, there seem to be indications that there are things that God has reserved for men to do and things that He has excluded women from doing.   So, at 15, or whenever it was that you were saying, "I'm not going to get to do some of the things that it seems my soul longs to do."  That has led a number of folks to say there must be something wrong here.  God would not give me the strong desire to do these things and then exclude me through the pages of Scripture from doing those very things. Nancy: I think the thing we have to remember is that things function poorly or not at all when they function contrary to their design.  We're sitting here in a studio, and there's a microphone in front of us, and this microphone works well when we use it for the purpose for which it was designed, but this microphone would not work well or at all if I tried to use it as, say, a book or a piano … Dennis: … or a ball bat. Nancy: It wasn't designed for any other purpose.  And Satan caused Eve to doubt not only the veracity of God's Word but also the goodness of God.  Has God put limitations on your happiness?  Has God put restraints on you?  Would you be freer and happier and more blessed if you operated outside of God's parameters?  And that is an essential deception, and so many of us daughters of Eve have listened since that day to the deception of the enemy and have begun to function contrary to the design for which God made us and, as a result, we have broken lives, broken hearts, broken marriages, broken homes, and miserable women in so many cases. Dennis: And, you know, I think God gives us illustrations every day of how we are involved in this same kind of protection of others by placing limitations in their lives.  When we used to live in town, we lived on a pretty busy street.  It wasn't a main thoroughfare, but there was a good deal of traffic that flowed back and forth, and we would take our toddlers out to the edge of the road, and we would point to the curb, and we would say, "Do not step off the curb.  Do not go near the curb, do not get in the street, this is a no-no."  And invariably, our children would look at the curb, they would look at the street, and they would look at the yard, and they would look up at us, and they'd put their foot down on the street.  And, at that point, they were testing us to see if, indeed, the boundary was, a, real and, secondly, did I really mean what I said?  And at that point, they found out rather swiftly that there was some discipline behind that. And I think, in the Garden, Eve found out very quickly what she lost when she stepped out from under God's design and disobeyed God.  At that point, she lost that created wonder, the beauty of femininity in its untainted form, unstained by sin and by selfishness.  And, you know, Nancy, I think what people are struggling to get back to today is what Eve lost in both men and women. Nancy: It really is paradise lost.  I think of the verse in Genesis 5, verse 2, reflecting back on the Creation, it says, "Male and female, He created them, and He blessed them."  He blessed them, and as you go through the early pages of the book of Genesis, you see that God's intent was to bless His Creation, and we forfeit that blessing when we step out from the distinctions, the roles, the design for which He made us as men and as women. Dennis: And I think one of the most practical things we can take away here at the beginning of this broadcast is, just as parents, that we must bless our children in their sexual identity.  It is within our power either to bless that or curse it or withhold blessing.  And what we're talking about here is a deeply profound theological principle, but it's intensely practical – very practical, as we raise the next generation. Nancy: We live in a generation that has tried to blur and eradicate, even, the distinctions between male and female and, to me, as you said, Dennis, we have, as women, been stripped of some of our most precious treasures as a result of moving into a unisex generation where men and women think alike, dress alike, have the same kinds of jobs, the same kinds of roles, the same kinds of responsibilities.  We have not gained from these measures as women.  I believe we have been robbed. Dennis: You know, this loss that you're talking about here, Nancy, hit me profoundly some time ago when we were watching the morning news with our kids, and it happened right before the big gathering they had in Washington, D.C. for Promise Keepers, and they had a pro-Promise Keepers speaker on, and then they had a nationally known feminist who was the president of NOW at the time, and we listened to those two go back and forth, and I had a deep sense of a profound sadness, as I listened to that representative from NOW who so wanted women to achieve and to be successful and yet she was doing it without a reference to God. And when all the debate was over, we turned the TV off, and it was right before school, and we have prayer before we go to school, and I gathered my three daughters who were there, and I put my arms around them, and I began to pray for them.  I don't know when the last time I began to weep when I prayed was, but I began to sob.  I just had a profound sense of sadness that my daughters and other daughters are growing up in a culture that is attempting to find happiness and hope and success and femininity and womanhood without reference to God. Bob: Nancy, I know, as you grew up, you talked about feeling limited by your femininity.  As you've come to understand what the Scriptures teach about womanhood, I'm sure there has been some of that that's been fairly easy to embrace and some of that that you've chafed against a little bit.  What has been difficult?  What has been hard to accept about God's portrait of womanhood? Nancy: For me, the essence of femininity is to embrace the concept of surrender as a woman to become a receiver, a responder, and surrendered to the heart and the will of God.  I love the example of Mary, the mother of Jesus.  And, to me, she is a portrait of what it means to be a woman of God.  When the angel came to Mary and explained to her that she was going to be a mother of the Son of God, Mary's response was, "I am the Lord's servant.  May it be unto me according as you have said."   And, for me, the difficulty – I think it's true for every human being – is to embrace what God has said.  Say "Let it be to me as you have said," and that means for all of us, male and female, that there are restrictions, that there are certain roles that we are not asked to play, that we are not designed to fulfill.  And, sure, my flesh has chafed against embracing those roles and those restrictions at times, but it's the enemy that causes us to see those as restrictions.  It's God's way to see those limitations as loving imitations, as wise limitations, and as a means of protection, even as you protect your children from the oncoming traffic by teaching them not to step off of that curb in front of the house. Dennis: And, Nancy, I think you've hit it.  Our assignment as parents or the assignment of today's broadcast for a single woman or a married woman is to embrace God's design, receive it as Mary received that call upon her life to become the mother of the Savior and not listen to the voices that would muddy the clear call of God and pull back to the big picture and say, "Wait a second, where does life come from?"  Is the feminist movement really going to offer life?  Is it found where they say it's going to be found by seeking your own rights?  By trying to find self-fulfillment?  Their definition of success is around self.  A Christian's definition of success in the roles of men and women is around God and in surrendering to that which God has called him to be and to do. And I wonder sometimes, Bob, even within the Christian community, how foolish we've become in buying into this trap as we raise our daughters, seemingly, to prop their ladders against the careerism wall just like we trained our sons.  It wasn't any more correct to do that for them but to turn around and take our daughters and to say that the goal of their education, the goal of their lives ought to be a career?  Wait a second – where is that in the Bible?  Where is the home here?  Where is relationships here?  Where is the next generation here? Nancy: And let me say that because of the influence of the world's way of thinking in our generation, I believe we are faced today with an incredible opportunity to help women discover the means of true freedom, true liberation.  I've been, for some 20 years, involved in ministry to women, and women in the church primarily, and I've found that women today, by and large, are frustrated, in many cases, angry, hurt, wounded, and hardened, in some cases.  It's not difficult to convince women today that the world's way has not worked.  The world has promised freedom and success and joy, but it hasn't delivered.  And so what a time for us to hold up the standard of God's Word and say, "Here is what God offers.  This is the means to true freedom." Dennis: And I know that most of our listeners are women, on the broadcast today, but there are some men who are listening, too, and I just want to speak to you guys for just a second.  It is our responsibility to protect and preserve our wives, to protect and preserve biblical femininity and womanhood.   It ought not to be that our churches are filled with frustrated, angry women at a culture that's confused the issue.  Who ought to be stepping forward and helping define these issues?  It's men.  We ought to help.  Now, I'm not saying we're the ones doing all the defining and telling wives what they ought to be.  I can almost see those letters coming right now, but calling together some godly women who get in the Scriptures, and they look at it from Genesis to Revelation and begin to say, "What is God's design in the Scriptures for a woman?  Is it limiting?  Has God called there to be a distinction between male and female?"  And I believe it's clear.  It doesn't take a Hebrew or a Greek scholar to see there is a difference between men and women. Nancy: Only by restoring the sense of those distinctions and showing how they must be protected and preserved and celebrated will we be able to rear a new generation who understand the joy and the blessing of fulfilling God's role for them. Bob: You know, we're going to be talking this week about the portrait of femininity, what it means for a woman to be a woman according to the Scriptures, and just on the basis of what we've said today, I can imagine there are some listeners who say, "I hear it coming, and I already don't like it, because it's going to tie me up in such a restrictive knot that I can't function outside the home, I can't have any fulfillment in using my spiritual gifts except at a ladies' Bible study.  I've heard it before, I didn't like it the first time I heard it, and I'm not sure I want to listen this week, because I don't think I'm going to like it this week." Nancy: You know, Bob, I can imagine a fish in the water feeling that it's limited by having to live in the water, and that fish, if it could speak, perhaps could say, "I'm going to get out of the water."  And the fish can get out of the water, but the fish can't live or survive out of the water.  And so many times they have men and women trying to escape from the realm, the sphere in which God created us to be blessed and successful.  We can get out of that realm, but we can't survive out of that realm. Dennis: Nancy, I couldn't agree more, and as Bob was articulating what some are feeling right now, I couldn't help but think that the serpent had a good bass voice like that, too, and was saying, "Hey, shed the restraints.  You don't have to put up with these God standards any longer.  Get out from under it, find a new way, find a better way, you can be all you were intended to be without reference or without depending upon God," and, you know, life is full.  I mean, look in your neighborhoods, look around your community at what happens to people who ignore the Ten Commandments.  Their lives are destroyed. And I just want to tell you, around this issue, this is a major issue for our nation, for our churches, and for every Christian family that is raising the next generation of boys and girls who will be the next civilization in America. Bob: Yeah, there is massive confusion on this subject, especially among this emerging generation.  The whole question of gender has been muddled, and it leaves a lot of young men and a lot of young women questioning what it means to be a boy, what it means to be a girl. Nancy, you wrote a little booklet a number of years ago called "A Biblical Portrait of Womanhood," and it's a booklet that we've got in our FamilyLife Resource Center along with a number of the books you've written.  In fact, I would just encourage our listeners, if you have resonated with what you've heard Nancy talking about today, get a copy of the booklet, "A Biblical Portrait of Womanhood," and then get Nancy's book, "Lies Women Believe," as well, if you haven't read that yet.  They are both in our FamilyLife Resource Center, and you can go online at FamilyLife.com and order copies, if you'd like.  Again, our website is FamilyLife.com, and when you get to the home page, on the right side of the screen, there's a box that says "Today's Broadcast," and if you click where it says "Learn More," it will take you to an area of the site where there is information about these books and other resources from Nancy Leigh DeMoss.  There are transcripts of the program that you've heard today, and there is a place where you can leave comments about what you've heard or about what you read in the transcripts.  Again, our website is FamilyLife.com, and you'll need to click on the right side of the screen where it says "Today's Broadcast" to get to the area where there is information about the resources from Nancy Leigh DeMoss, and there is a link there to the True Woman '08 conference that we've talked about today that's happening in Chicago October 8th through the 11th.  A great lineup of speakers, and our friends, Keith and Kristyn Getty are going to be there helping to lead worship as well. If you'd like to attend the national True Woman '08 conference in Chicago in October, go to our website, FamilyLife.com, and you can get more information.  Or you can click through and register online at the True Woman '08 website.   You know, while woman are wrestling with this subject, there are a lot of guys who are wrestling with what it means to be a man biblically, and this month we have been making available to our listeners a CD of a great message from Stu Weber called "Applied Masculinity."  It's a message that looks at what's at the core of being a man, and how to keep masculinity in its appropriate biblical balance, and we'd love to send you a copy of that CD this month when you make a donation of any amount for the ministry of FamilyLife Today. We are listener-supported, your donations are what keep this program on the air here in this city and in other cities across the country, and you can make your donation online at FamilyLife.com, or you can call 1-800-FLTODAY to make a donation.  If you're online, and you'd like to receive the CD from Stu Weber on manhood, just type the word "Stu" s-t-u, in the keycode box on the donation form, or you can call 1-800-FLTODAY and make a donation over the phone and just say, "I'd like the CD on manhood."  We're happy to make it available to you as our way of saying thank you for your generous support of the ministry of FamilyLife Today.  We appreciate you. Now, tomorrow we're going to continue to unpack what is at the essence of femininity from a biblical perspective, and I hope you can be with us for that.   I want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.  On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.  We'll see you tomorrow for another edition of FamilyLife Today.  FamilyLife Today is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas – help for today; hope for tomorrow.  _______________________________________________________________We are so happy to provide these transcripts for you. However, there is a cost to transcribe, create, and produce them for our website. If you've benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider donating today to help defray the costs?Copyright © FamilyLife. All rights reserved. www.FamilyLife.com 

In Episode 40, “Being a Faithful Mouthpiece,”  Kim talks about Deborah being a faithful mouthpiece for God and challenges her listeners to do the same.   The primary scripture text for this episode is Judges 4:6-14a, with special emphasis on the verses below.   6 One day she sent for Barak son of Abinoam, who lived in Kedesh in the land of Naphtali. She said to him, “This is what the Lord, the God of Israel, commands you: Call out 10,000 warriors from the tribes of Naphtali and Zebulun at Mount Tabor. 7 And I will call out Sisera, commander of Jabin's army, along with his chariots and warriors, to the Kishon River. There I will give you victory over him.” (Judges 4:6-7)   14a Then Deborah said to Barak, “Get ready! This is the day the Lord will give you victory over Sisera, for the Lord is marching ahead of you.” (Judges 4:14a)     32 How much more do I need to say? It would take too long to recount the stories of the faith of Gideon, Barak, Samson, Jephthah, David, Samuel, and all the prophets. 33 By faith these people overthrew kingdoms, ruled with justice, and received what God had promised them. They shut the mouths of lions, 34 quenched the flames of fire, and escaped death by the edge of the sword. Their weakness was turned to strength. They became strong in battle and put whole armies to flight. (Hebrews 11:32-34)   Resource used by Kim to provide additional insight was “A True Woman Joins the Battle” by Nancy Leigh DeMoss on RightNow Media from the True Woman '10 conference held in Fort Worth, Tx on October 14-16, 2010.     For a deeper dive into the book of Joshua, join Kim as she teaches “Finding Courage for Life's Battles: Life Lessons from the Book of Joshua.”   To take her FREE 3-Day Online Bible Study entitled “Let  God Transform U through His Word: Why Is Personal Bible Study So Important to Your Christian Life?”.   Check out Kim's website at https://gettinghealthyall4hisglory.com for blog posts and her PDF Printable collection.   Remember, “It's Always a Trust & Obey Kinda Day!”

Episode Summary: If you have ever felt like God didn’t or couldn’t love you, then today is the perfect show for you. In this episode, I had the opportunity to chat with Wendy Blight about her journey to discovering how much God loves her, and how that has positively impacted her outlook since that time. Wendy shares her most harrowing life experience, and how that caused her to view God initially, question God, and come to know God’s love in a new and transforming way. We all go through experiences that cause us to question, and sometimes even question God. Such experiences can either cause us to turn away from God in anger, or turn toward God to find His love and comfort despite our circumstances. We often have a picture of God that is quite different than who He really is, until we begin to get to know God’s character. Wendy shared what helped her get through life’s difficult trials, and how He can change us if we let Him. Wendy discussed the importance of answering the question “Who is on the throne of my heart,” and how that impacts our attitudes and behaviors. Wendy shared how we can know and truly receive God’s love, and how much He desires that for each one of us. Quotables from the episode: Many people question if God loves them, especially when it seems God allowed things to happen to us that He could have prevented. It’s hard to associate someone who supposedly loves you and who is so powerful who allows bad things to happen. But the truth is nothing separates us from the love of God. There are several universal questions people ask when going through a dark time, “God are you real?” and “God do you care? Sometimes we grow up with a picture of God that isn’t consistent with the God of the Bible. What we really need to know is the character of God. Being in the word of God can give us a new lens and a new perspective. Even when God allows things to happen, He is there, He cares, He loves us, He weeps for us, and He is waiting for us on the other side. We will be more than a conqueror in Christ Jesus. But to be a conqueror, we have to go through the battle. But we make it through that because of Him. He can take the most ugly, traumatic messes of our life and make them beautiful with his healing, peace, love, and joy. An important question for us to ask is, “Who is on the throne of my heart?” God wants to be on the throne of our heart. He wants to be our everything. When we talk about what is on the throne of our heart, it’s anything, like a recurring thought pattern, that comes to you all the time and governs your day or governs your life. Who or what am I looking to for my hope, and for my safety and my security? That’s an indication that that thing holds a higher place in your heart and in your life than God does. In such situations, it’s important to have Scriptures which can interrupt those thought patterns, and speak those scriptures out loud over our lives and our situation which cause us to look to other things or other people. When we do it faithfully and consistently, God will use it to change us. When you have the perspective of God sitting on the throne of your heart, it helps you love everyone better. If we don’t truly know how much God loves us, then we can’t give that kind of love away. We love out of the overflow of our heart, so that means our heart must first be filled up with the knowledge of how much He loves us. The reason God loves you so much is because you are His: a child of God. We are blood-bought children of the One True God. That is our identity. When we carry the identity around that we are lavishly loved by the God of the universe, and He lives inside of us, that empowers us. No matter what you’re walking through right now, God is living inside of you and He promises He will never leave us or forsake us. Instead, He is living inside us to help equip us and teach us. Jesus came to save us, despite all our faults. If we were perfect that would make His sacrifice for us worth nothing. Scripture References: 1 John 3:1 “Consider the kind of extravagant love the Father has lavished on us … He calls us children of God. It’s true, we are His beloved children.” 1 John 5:12 “Whoever has the Son has life; whoever does not have the Son of God does not have life.” 1 John 4:4 “You, dear children are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world.” Recommended Resources: “I Am Loved: Walking in the Fullness of God’s Love” by Wendy Blight https://amzn.to/2XfwPfv FREE Declaration from Wendy https://wendyblight.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/Wendy-IAL-WIF-Declaration.pdf https://drmichellebengtson.com/great-love-prompts-great-sacrifice-its-what-love-does/ https://drmichellebengtson.com/ask-dr-b-truth-for-when-you-feel-unloved/ https://drmichellebengtson.com/its-what-love-does/ https://drmichellebengtson.com/love-broke-through/ https://drmichellebengtson.com/does-god-love-me/ https://drmichellebengtson.com/because-he-loves-you-in-case-you-were-wondering/ https://drmichellebengtson.com/words-from-a-loving-father/ “Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises” by Dr. Michelle Bengtson https://amzn.to/2ZSTP4N “Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression” by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award https://amzn.to/2zB0e7J “Hope Prevails Bible Study” by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award https://amzn.to/2yMdN46 Social Media Links for Host and Guest: https://wendyblight.com/ https://twitter.com/wendy_blight Twitter @wendy_blight Facebook https://www.facebook.com/WendySBlight/ Instagram https://www.instagram.com/wblight/ For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at: To order Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: https://drmichellebengtson.com/breaking-anxietys-grip/ To order Hope Prevails: https://drmichellebengtson.com/hope-prevails-book/ Website: https://drmichellebengtson.com/ Blog: https://drmichellebengtson.com/blog/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrMichelleBengtson Twitter: https://twitter.com/DrMBengtson (@DrMBengtson) LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drmichellebengtson/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drmichellebengtson/ Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/drbhopeprevails/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/MichelleBengtson Radio Show Host: http://graceandtruthradio.world/shows/your-hope-filled-perspective/   Guest: Wendy Blight Wendy is a wife, mother, author, Bible teacher, attorney, and the Biblical Content Specialist for Proverbs 31 Ministry’s Online Bible Studies. Her heart's desire is to help women fall in love with God's Word. To learn it, pray it, and know with confidence they can tackle any problem life presents through it. Wendy has authored four books, Hidden Joy in a Dark Corner, Living So That, I Know His Name, and her newest book, I Am Loved: Living in the Fullness of God’s Love. Wendy has been a featured guest on Oprah Radio, The 700 Club, Family Life Today with Dr. Dennis Rainey, Revive Our Hearts with Nancy Leigh DeMoss, and Building Relationships with Dr. Gary Chapman. Wendy lives with her husband, Monty, in Charlotte, North Carolina and loves most when her two children, Lauren (26) and Bo (20), come home to visit and fill their home with lots of love and laughter!   Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson    

VCY America presents the September 9th, 2006 rally with Nancy Leigh DeMoss. To order a DVD copy of this presentation contact VCY America at 1-800-729-9829 or online at vcyamerica.org.

VCY America presents the September 9th, 2006 rally with Nancy Leigh DeMoss. To order a DVD copy of this presentation contact VCY America at 1-800-729-9829 or online at vcyamerica.org.

Deus Cura É fácil acreditar que Deus não intervém nas nossas vidas da mesma maneira que lemos na Bíblia. Nós vemos tantos momentos em que parece que Deus está ausente, ou que a cura não vem da forma desejada e duvidamos da presença dEle. Mas existem tantos testemunhos da cura sobrenatural de Deus, e tantas histórias onde vemos claramente Deus respondendo as orações do seu povo onde é impossível negar o agir dEle. Essa é uma dessas histórias... A Lidiane e seu esposo estavam vivendo o que sempre sonhavam. Eles tinham um filho de 3 aninhos, uma filhinha de 5 meses e tudo estava perfeito... até receberem o diagnóstico da filha. Quando o mundo deles estava desabando, eles buscaram a força em Cristo. Quando eles se encontrarm sem chão, eles viram que a casa que eles vinham construido estava realmente firmada sobre a Rocha, pois ela não se abalou. Deus esteve com a família da Lidiane, e trouxe a cura para a filhinha deles, mas o caminho que eles percorreram até chegarem no final feliz é onde o aprendizado reside. Hoje nós temos o privilégio de escutar a história da Lidiane, com toda a dor e o sofrimento ainda vivos no relato dela, e ver como Deus estava presente em todos os momentos. Sobre o que conversamos? A Lidiane conta a sua história, desde o momento em que a filha deles começou a demonstrar sinais que algo estava errado, até o momento que vivem hoje (mais de um ano depois), de saúde e de cura. Ela relata a importância do apoio que receberam da família e de todo o corpo de Cristo. Ela fala sobre as portas que Deus abriu para que eles pudessem também ser canal de benção para outras famílias que também estavam passando momentos de dor, e como também Deus usou a vida deles como testemunho para os médicos e enfermeiras. Eu perguntei para a Lidiane como eles fizeram para fazer o filho mais velho não se sentir deixado de lado em meio a tanta correria e preocupação com a irmãzinha dele. Ela explicou como fizeram para envolver o irmão na medida do possível, e o papel crucial que os familiares e amigos tiveram no cuidado do coraçãozinho dele. E se a cura não tivesse vindo? Como que outras famílias lidam com isso, quando a resposta de oração não é a cura que tanto almejavam?   Recursos Mencionados Se você quiser acompanhar e aprender mais com a Lidiane, siga ela no @simplesmente.mamae. Ela também recomendou o livro "Mulher: Dez Elementos da Feminilidade" da as autoras Nancy Leigh DeMoss e Mary A. Kassian. Versículos citados: A Lidiane citou vários versículos que ajudou ela e a família a passarem por esses momentos. A quantidade de versículos que ela citou da memória dela foi algo que falou ao meu coração... Vamos seguir esse exemplo e guardar a palavra de Deus nos nossos corações, para que ela esteja lá quando precisarmos dela! Assim, na igreja, Deus estabeleceu primeiramente apóstolos; em segundo lugar, profetas; em terceiro lugar, mestres; depois os que realizam milagres, os que têm dom de curar, os que têm dom de prestar ajuda, os que têm dons de administração e os que falam diversas línguas. São todos apóstolos? São todos profetas? São todos mestres? Têm todos o dom de realizar milagres? Têm todos dons de curar? Falam todos em línguas? Todos interpretam? Entretanto, busquem com dedicação os melhores dons. Passo agora a mostrar-lhes um caminho ainda mais excelente. 1 Coríntios 12:28-31 As coisas encobertas pertencem ao Senhor, ao nosso Deus, mas as reveladas pertencem a nós e aos nossos filhos para sempre, para que sigamos todas as palavras desta lei. Deuteronômio 29:29 "Qual de vocês, se seu filho pedir pão, lhe dará uma pedra? Ou se pedir peixe, lhe dará uma cobra? Se vocês, apesar de serem maus, sabem dar boas coisas aos seus filhos, quanto mais o Pai de vocês, que está nos céus, dará coisas boas aos que lhe pedirem! Mateus 7:9-11 Porque sou eu que conheço os planos que tenho para vocês", diz o Senhor, "planos de fazê-los prosperar e não de lhes causar dano, planos de dar-lhes esperança e um futuro.

Divórico Não Fazia Parte do Plano O divórcio não faz parte do plano de Deus para a nossa vida, e também nunca faz parte do plano de noivos que se casam. Mas um casamento é formado por dois pecadores... dois seres humanos falhos e com livre arbítrio. Esse episódio conta a história de uma mãe, que se viu encarando o adultério do marido quando sua filha tinha apenas um mes de vida. Depois de um ano buscando uma possível reconciliação, veio o divórcio, e todos os sonhos que ela tinha para a sua família desmoronaram. Eu quero que vocês escutem a história da Thaís por vários motivos. Quero que você que já passou por separação/divórcio ou está vivendo esse momento agora, saiba que você não está sozinha. Deus te ama, Deus está ao seu lado e sofre junto com você. Quero que você que é mãe solteira (por qualquer motivo) ouça da Thaís como Deus tem trabalhado no coração dela, se mostrado presente e provado que é o suficiente para ela e a filha. Quero que você, que conhece alguém que está passando por um divórcio, escute também. As vezes nos falta compaixão e empatia com a história de outra pessoa, simplesmente porque não conseguimos enxergar tudo que ela está passando. Claro que o caminho que devemos buscar (em quase todos os casos) é a reconciliação. Devemos sim lutar pelo casamento. Casamento saudável e forte é muito difícil e exige muito MUITO trabalho. Se você estiver em um momento crítico do seu casamento, busque ajuda. Não sabe nem por onde começar procurando ajuda? Pode entrar em contato comigo aqui pelo site (nos comentários ou no email de contato), pelo instagram ou pelo facebook. Posso tentar te passar alguns recursos ou te ajudar a encontrar um bom terapeuta e/ou aconselhamento conjugal que possa servir você e sua família. Se você escutou o episódio da semana passada (onde conversamos sobre como o sofrimento pode ser terra fértil para o desenvolvimento de caráter), a história da Thaís traz vida àqueles conceitos. Ela fala sobre como Deus usou esses momentos de dor e sofrimento para moldar e estabelecer o caráter e a confiança nEle. Vamos escutar e aprender com a Thaís.     Sobre o que conversamos? A Thaís conta um pouco sobre como foi crescer com pais separados, e como foi quando ela se viu em situação similar com a filha recém-nascida. Ela fala sobre como Deus usou essa situação de divórcio para tratar pecados no próprio coração dela (excesso de ira, tendências controladoras...) Falamos sobre a dificuldade em ser mãe solteira, e em desempenhar sozinha uma tarefa que Deus quis que fosse feito em parceria (criar filhos). Deus está ensinando a Thaís que Ele está cuidando do futuro, e ela só precisa se preocupar com o dia de hoje. A Thaís fala sobre a importância de ter amigos com quem ela pode ser vulnerável. "Deus não me capacitou naquele momento... Ele vai me capacitar dia a dia. É um processo." - Thaís Michel Mais uma vez, conversamos sobre como não permitir que a amargura crie raíz no nosso coração quando passamos por sofrimento. Qual é a realidade que a filha dela vive, como filha de pais separados? Ela é uma coitadinha? Como nós podemos servir de apoio para a Thaís (e outras mães solteiras) enquanto ela busca criar a filha dela à luz da Bíblia? Ela fala sobre as 5 mulheres mecionadas na genealogia de Jesus: Tamar, Raabe, Rute, Mulher de Urias (Bate-Seba) e Maria. Se quiser aprender um pouco mais, esse artigo resume de maneira simples e fácil e traz as referências bíblicas.     Recursos Mencionados O livro recomendado pela Thaís foi "Mentiras em que as Mulheres Acreditam e a Verdade que as Liberta" da autora Nancy Leigh DeMoss. Uma foto da capa com o link onde você pode comprar está na nossa página de Livros Recomendados. Nesse episódio, teve uma hora que a Thaís se referiu ao episódio que fala sobre limites familiares saudáveis, que foi uma entrevista com a psicóloga Layne Ribeiro. Esse é o link para o episódio, caso você ainda não escutou e queira aprender mais sobre esse assunto.

What does it mean to be holy? Why should we be holy? What difference does holiness make in our everyday lives? And what difference could a holy church make in an unholy world?The holiness of God is one of the most magnificent, breathtaking themes in all of Scripture. And the holiness of God's people is one of the greatest needs in the church and in our world today.

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Now that Thanksgiving is over, are we still intentionally focusing on thankfulness? I love this time of year because it drives us back to giving thanks in all things – but what about when Thanksgiving is over? Are we carrying that emphasis on thanksgiving into the rest of the year? Links & Resources: Hf #50: Choosing to be Thankful in Troubled Times Book recommendation: Choosing Gratitude by Nancy Leigh Demoss  

Nancy Leigh DeMoss shares through her years of ministry to women where the enemy primarily attacks them. The enemy not only uses the lies on women, but also on men. Nancy makes the scriptures come alive and urges personal obedience to its truth. She communicates a love for the Word and for the Lord Jesus that is infectious. This is part 1 of 2.

Nancy Leigh DeMoss shares through her years of ministry to women where the enemy primarily attacks them. The enemy not only uses the lies on women, but also on men. Nancy makes the scriptures come alive and urges personal obedience to its truth. She communicates a love for the Word and for the Lord Jesus that is infectious. This is part 2 of 2.

Nancy Leigh DeMoss shares through her years of ministry to women where the enemy primarily attacks them. The enemy not only uses the lies on women, but also on men. Nancy makes the scriptures come alive and urges personal obedience to its truth. She communicates a love for the Word and for the Lord Jesus that is infectious. This is part 1 of 2.

Nancy Leigh DeMoss shares through her years of ministry to women where the enemy primarily attacks them. The enemy not only uses the lies on women, but also on men. Nancy makes the scriptures come alive and urges personal obedience to its truth. She communicates a love for the Word and for the Lord Jesus that is infectious. This is part 2 of 2.

Lawren quizzes Alyssa on upcoming Pinterest trends and tests out sound effects. We give a couple shout-outs to our listeners. Then, finally, the meat of the show. We discuss the power of the Holy Spirit and how it just might be the solution to sanctification, finding truth in the midst of all Satan's lies, and the power to fight against the things of this earth that stump us.   Sources mentioned: Seventh-day Adventist Lesson Quarterly for Jan-Mar "Holy Spirit" The Shack by William P. Young Fervant by Priscilla Shirer Lies Young Women Believe by Nancy Leigh DeMoss

Today we are talking about thankfulness. But I don't want you to tune this message out just because it's a thing we tend to talk about this time of year. This message today goes far beyond the week of Thanksgiving and goes far deeper than uttering off a few quick "thanks for..." lists.  Choosing to put on gratitude and thankfulness is an essential element of the Christian faith and it's vitally important to the life of the homemaker.  Listen to the podcast: I’ve recorded this blog post as an audio podcast. You can read it here, or if you prefer, listen to it as a podcast below! And don't forget to subscribe to my podcast in iTunes.    Right click here and save-as to download this episode to your computer. This is an especially important topic in our chaotic, crazy, and fearful world we live in today. Everywhere I turn there is more bad news of a couple I know getting a divorce, my heart is heavy for a family who is struggling to get by, there are new reports of child abuse and terrible things happening around the globe.  It's enough to make anyone fearful, worried, anxious, or over burdened. So as head wade through the bad news, pray for those who are hurting, and try to piece together a response, where do we turn for HOPE? How can we focus on Christ throughout all of the turmoil, bad news, disappointments, and the everyday heart ache of life?  By choosing thankfulness. November is a hard month for me personally as my mom died suddenly three November's ago. It's a time that brings up a lot of grief, anger, and even resentment. Whether you are struggling with a loss, battling anxiety over a new situation, or just wading through the every day struggles and the ups and downs, you desperately need this message.  Now of course, our natural tendency is to often sit in worry and anxiety. To wonder why God allows certain things. To stew in anger or bitterness. To get so consumed with the small details of today that we can't look forward to the future with joy and hope. That's where I am coming from today. I'm looking at this concept of thanksgiving through a lens of troubled times and anxious hearts.  So we need to recognize that thankfulness and putting on a grateful heart is a choice and that it can have a profound impact on our lives.  5 Reasons We Need to CHOOSE to be Thankful Today 1) Gratitude is a matter of obedience Thankfulness and gratitude are not simply good ideas, God commands us to have gratitude. And the kicker is, we are to be thankful in ALL things! Not just the happy things and the things we often think of as blessings. We are called to obedience and that means learning how and choosing to be thankful in our life. "Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." - 1 Thesselonians 5:16-18  "And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him." - Colossians 3:14-17  If you really want to study praise and thanksgiving to God, then study through the book of Psalms. There are countless examples of turning back to God over and over again in praise and thanksgiving. In her book, Choosing Gratitude, Nancy Leigh Demoss discusses the idea of finding God's Will. She says: "Sure, details matter to God. The specifics of what church to attend, what house to write a contract on, what position to apply for, and maybe even what hotel to stay at on vacation, are decisions He gives us wisdom to make, as we seek Him and walk in line with the principles of His Word.

Today we are talking about thankfulness. But I don't want you to tune this message out just because it's a thing we tend to talk about this time of year. This message today goes far beyond the week of Thanksgiving and goes far deeper than uttering off a few quick "thanks for..." lists.  Choosing to put on gratitude and thankfulness is an essential element of the Christian faith and it's vitally important to the life of the homemaker.  Listen to the podcast: I’ve recorded this blog post as an audio podcast. You can read it here, or if you prefer, listen to it as a podcast below! And don't forget to subscribe to my podcast in iTunes.    Right click here and save-as to download this episode to your computer. This is an especially important topic in our chaotic, crazy, and fearful world we live in today. Everywhere I turn there is more bad news of a couple I know getting a divorce, my heart is heavy for a family who is struggling to get by, there are new reports of child abuse and terrible things happening around the globe.  It's enough to make anyone fearful, worried, anxious, or over burdened. So as head wade through the bad news, pray for those who are hurting, and try to piece together a response, where do we turn for HOPE? How can we focus on Christ throughout all of the turmoil, bad news, disappointments, and the everyday heart ache of life?  By choosing thankfulness. November is a hard month for me personally as my mom died suddenly three November's ago. It's a time that brings up a lot of grief, anger, and even resentment. Whether you are struggling with a loss, battling anxiety over a new situation, or just wading through the every day struggles and the ups and downs, you desperately need this message.  Now of course, our natural tendency is to often sit in worry and anxiety. To wonder why God allows certain things. To stew in anger or bitterness. To get so consumed with the small details of today that we can't look forward to the future with joy and hope. That's where I am coming from today. I'm looking at this concept of thanksgiving through a lens of troubled times and anxious hearts.  So we need to recognize that thankfulness and putting on a grateful heart is a choice and that it can have a profound impact on our lives.  5 Reasons We Need to CHOOSE to be Thankful Today 1) Gratitude is a matter of obedience Thankfulness and gratitude are not simply good ideas, God commands us to have gratitude. And the kicker is, we are to be thankful in ALL things! Not just the happy things and the things we often think of as blessings. We are called to obedience and that means learning how and choosing to be thankful in our life. "Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." - 1 Thesselonians 5:16-18  "And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him." - Colossians 3:14-17  If you really want to study praise and thanksgiving to God, then study through the book of Psalms. There are countless examples of turning back to God over and over again in praise and thanksgiving. In her book, Choosing Gratitude, Nancy Leigh Demoss discusses the idea of finding God's Will. She says: "Sure, details matter to God. The specifics of what church to attend, what house to write a contract on, what position to apply for, and maybe even what hotel to stay at on vacation, are decisions He gives us wisdom to make, as we seek Him and walk in line with the principles of His Word.

Co-Host/Intercessor: Wayne ShepherdDevotional Intercessor: Dr. Bill ElliffIntercessors: Dr. Bob Bakke, Dr. Michael Catt, Nancy Leigh DeMoss, Dave and Renae Warn, Al and Mary Madeline Whittinghill