Reclaiming Male Role Models

[Listen on iTunes] This is the final episode of Reclaiming Male Role Models! I had the extraordinary privilege of being interviewed by David Hrostoski (featured in episode 21). In this episode we talk about: My journey visioning and creating Reclaiming Male Role Models Why I spent 3 years, countless hours, and lots of energy and money creating this project. How role models can be helpful in learning to do things differently, but how they can also box us in if we're not careful. Resources from this episode: robertschwenkler.com brotherhoodcommunity.com

[Listen on iTunes] Hailed as “part football coach, part loving dad, and part slightly crazed drill sergeant” ROBERT KANDELL has spent the last sixteen years helping people re energize their lives and build better relationships through more honest and authentic connection. After building a successful consulting firm in San Francisco, he then took his business acumen and co-founded OneTaste in 2004 with Nicole Daedone. Taking on the challenging task of bringing conscious sexuality to the mainstream market, Robert built the company from scratch to a high seven-figure international corporation. He left OneTaste in 2014 to start his own Consulting firm helping small businesses become marketable and profitable. Robert is also an accomplished teacher, coach, and lecturer. He brings his enthusiasm and acumen to his weekly podcast, Tuff Love, on subjects around relationships, intimacy, communication and gender dynamics. In this episode we talk about: Rob’s story of going from an insecure, nerdy, fat Jewish kid to growing a multi 7 figure business and helping men all over the world become more confident, attractive, and fulfilled in their lives and relationships. The importance of authentic male friendship. The trifecta of male socialization that causes competition, frustration, and loneliness - and how to overcome them. Resources from this episode: TuffLove.live kandellconsulting.com

[Listen on iTunes] ALEX VILLEGAS worked in Corporate America for around 10 years, for a couple of different fortune 500 companies. Because of his time in Corporate America, he knows from experience how demanding and stressful it can be. After that, Alex co-owned a Transformational Fitness company located in Coconut Grove, FL that specialized in life coaching, nutrition, and personal training. Alex is the Founder and President of Organic Work Environments. Organic Work Environments is about teaching professionals how to optimize their minds and busy work lives through Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction Techniques. Our mission is to change the way we perceive and feel about work. In changing our attitudes about our present moments, we create more awareness and clarity in our day, which opens us up to being happy, connected, productive, and fueled by our purpose in life. In this episode we talk about: How Alex has transformed (or blown up, depending on how you look at it) his life multiple times over - all in service of following his life purpose. How the money, job, home, and beautiful don’t necessarily equal happiness. How authenticity and heart will get you anything you desire in life. Quotes from this episode: I’m here in this moment. I don’t want to know any other moment. The difference between a master and a beginner is that the master has tried more times than the beginner has ever tried. In suppressing your feelings you’re not allowing yourself to grow. Resources from this episode: synergizefit.com Organic Work Environments Instagram: @sandman615

[Listen on iTunes] TYLER TERVOOREN is the founder of Riskology, a blog where he writes for introverts about the science and strategies for becoming a great leader. Tyler loves finding new ideas for improving and testing them on himself, including running a marathon on every continent, running three businesses, and organizing three successful Guinness World Record attempts. Tyler figures that if the time is going to pass anyway, he might as well spend it doing fun things with interesting people. In this episode we talk about: Recreating his relationship with his dad. How self confidence allows us to love more fully in our intimate relationships. How Tyler gains self confidence by learning to do things himself before calling on an expert. Quotes from this episode: When you’re confident in yourself - in your life - and you can lead a happy life on your own, it allows you to really give all of yourself to someone else. The meaning or purpose of being a dad is figuring out how to be a dad. Resources from this episode: www.riskology.co/fix-it-yourself/

[Listen on iTunes] ROB SCOTT is a master level coach who helps people shift their identities and make dramatic breakthroughs on all platforms of their life. Over the past two decades he has helped people who were struggling and feeling unfulfilled to succeed in the various areas they were looking to improve. The Fundamental Shift, pioneered by Rob, teaches people how rewire their limiting beliefs, and ultimately leaves them completely transformed and understanding the distinctions of thought vs experience. Rob has pinpointed humanity’s core issue and identified and named this problem. It’s the problem of limiting of our current identity. The thoughts you create yield the results of what you think you deserve. Rob has made it his mission to shift this mindset and create habits and behaviors that yield positive outcomes. The result of this shift are people who are living to their full potential and achieving a level of success they thought was impossible to reach. Now, after a decade of helping believe reach this next level consciousness, Rob has reached hundreds of thousands people with his message and his practices. He has been fully awake for more than twenty years and is passionate about how to change to world. People who have worked with Rob have experienced breakthroughs in health, relationships, income, and an overall sense of happiness and fulfillment. Rob has helped business grow, relationships flourish, and has even helped craft congressional testimony that has lead to national policy reform, all by teaching others how to evolve their consciousness to shift their identity. In this episode we talk about: A peek into Robs story from being born into pain and abuse to evolving and having an impact on the consciousness of hundreds of thousands of people worldwide. What it truly takes to receive the love we say we want. The single most transformative tool for personal development. Quotes from this episode: At the base of addiction is a dissatisfaction with this moment. Without a doubt beginning to work with the mind - with the self awareness of detaching from your frames of reference and belief systems - is the most transformative tool that there is. We need to feel worthy and deserving of love. I had so much shame and difficulty going through what I went through as a younger guy that I didn’t really feel I deserved it for a long time. Resources from this episode: www.robscott.com www.identityshifting.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/realrobscott/ Twitter: @rob_scott Instagram: @realrobscott

[Listen on iTunes] KEN BLACKMAN is a sought-after lecturer and coach, teaching workshops worldwide and working one-on-one with select clients from SF, LA and NY to London, Paris, Sydney and Bali. His approach is brash, unorthodox and effective. He was one of the principal architects of a curriculum that is now shifting the world conversation around sex and human relating through OneTaste. His main focus these days is on custom-tailoring relationships to be resilient, passionate, intimate, connection-rich and deeply fulfilling. In this episode we talk about: Ken’s journey - from feeling unlikable and unattractive to now teaching men and women all over the world how to have resilient and deeply gratifying relationships. Why trying to be attractive to women is the thing that’s keeping you from being attractive to women. Quotes from this episode: The one thing that I want all guys to get is that the you that’s actually in there is 10x more attractive than the you that you’re trying to pretend to be. The divorce rate is really high. But also people who are together have got all the checkmarks marked off but they’re not happy. What happened? I had women who were willing to tell me the truth and start to train me in what they wanted and it was nothing like what I thought.  Resources from this episode: www.kenblackman.com

[Listen on iTunes] MIKE ZELLER discovered his passion for leadership in his early twenties. By the time He was 22, he had listened to well over 100 visionary talks from the top leadership experts in our culture. Before graduating college, He was a devoted sales professional and avid student of sales. After graduation, he enrolled himself under the mentorship, education, and influences of Tony Robbins, Peter Diamandis, and Tim Ferris. Mike has had the opportunity to join some of the highest masterminds, and spent 1000s of hours per year studying various facets of business while still growing his current ventures and starting new ones. In this episode we talk about: The impact that seeking out mentors has had on Mike’s life and career (Hint: It starts with an “H” and ends with a “uge”) How to cultivate mentor relationships where you actually add value to your mentor’s life. The belief that has allowed Mike’s level of success to grow radically. Quotes from this episode: You miss every shot you don’t take. How can I contribute to raising up men and women of character, passion, courage, purpose who are making this world better? When I do goals, right in the center is “key relationships to develop” and I list out the 8-10 people that over the next 12 months I want to intentionally spend more time with. Resources from this episode: www.mikezeller.com www.weartrim.com

[Listen on iTunes] GREGORY KELLETT is a leader in the field of human potential. His obsession for merging the worlds of neuroscience, community and optimal performance has led him to help individuals and organizations build resilience. He describes himself as a recovering neuroscientist, & prior to coaching, conducted research in brain responsiveness, stress & the nervous system for over 10 years at both SFSU and UCSF. He is known for his unique ability to translate scientific research into simple, practical tools for real world success and satisfaction. Gregory lives with his extended family just north of San Francisco. In this episode we talk about: Letting go of the rational mind and trusting intuition. Breaking down the paradigm of marriage. Trusting women and the feminine - and how it’s made his life be better than he could have ever imagined. Quotes from this episode: I’m experimenting with really trusting women, and what I find it that it just keeps getting better than I could have ever have imagined. It’s easy to believe what you see but it’s sometimes not as easy to see what you believe. The universe is intelligent and benevolent and kind and incredibly responsive if we let it be. If we don’t believe it, if we don’t trust it, it won’t be. Resources from this episode: Gregory's Relaxation Engineering Coaching:  www.unwynd.com Gregory's Podcast: www.commongrounding.com

[Listen on iTunes] KYLE INGHAM is the founder and editor of The Distilled Man, a website that helps everyday guys become well-rounded gentlemen. In this episode we talk about: How Kyle’s interest in learning to grill better turned into full time business teaching man skills like making a martini, tying a bow tie, and grilling. How Kyle actually creates and builds relationships by talking about taboo topics and pushing peoples' comfort zones. How learning new skills (such as mixing a martini!) can increase a man's confidence. Quotes from this episode: I have a few role models that are comedians. Not because they’re funny, but because of their honesty. My father, he had high expectations of me being good at sports and I wasn’t that good at sports… I’ve always found that I’m way more happy when I have a sense of purpose. I’m the kind of person who needs to embody what I’m doing. Resources from this episode: The Distilled Man website: www.thedistilledman.com Free ebook, “48-Hour Gentleman: Your One-Weekend Plan to More Confidence, Poise and Manly Know-How” Online course series: www.gentlemenlookgoodlivewell.com

[Listen on iTunes] Shortly after the death of his mother and fully exiting the religious cult he was born into, DAVID HROSTOSKI began his journey into deep personal introspection and entrepreneurship. After two cross-country road trips with his brother—one to spread his mothers ashes in 40 locations and document the journey, and the other to volunteer in 35+ cities over a 94 day span—he was inspired to spend the next three years as a coach, tackling various problems with his clients from around the world. Then, after a monumental spiritual opening, he decided to take the skills he learned during his time as a coach into consulting for purpose-centered businesses to amplify his global impact. He now works behind the scenes of some of the world's best coaches, helping to strategize and implement systems for sustainable growth. In this episode we talk about: David’s double life as a member of the Jehovah’s Witness church - and his journey in leaving to create the life he knew he was meant to live. What it looks like to intentionally create a community family that gets and supports you for who you truly are. How to live a fully authentic life. Quotes from this episode: I was living a double life. I would have sex with my girlfriend and then I would go home to the Jehovah’s Witness. At our core we don’t want to do harm to other people

[Listen on iTunes] GREGG DEMAMMOS is a very happy husband and father of two great boys. In 2006 Gregg left a successful career in the music industry managing artists to become a life coach. Ten years later he has coached hundreds of people to transform their lives and relationships, have more business success, and create new, empowering relationship to themselves. Today Gregg is more of who he always wanted to be than he ever has been. From the moment he lost his father at age 9 Gregg became committed to helping his mom get through things as best he could. In his business he now concentrates on coaching women leaders who are ready to bring their dreams back into focus and become who they have always wanted to be - A niche that has been a lifetime in the making. In this episode we talk about: How Gregg respects his childrens’ temper tantrums and anger, and transforms them into life lessons and deep love. Gregg’s journey of learning to use his emotions in ways that worked FOR him. How, despite growing up with no father as a role model during some of the most formative years of his life, Gregg later chose to be an extraordinary father who raised extraordinary children. Quotes from this episode: My 9 year old son is incredibly wise. The things he gives me for my business and for myself are unparalleled. Your emotions are your reality until you understand that they’re an emotional reality and that you exist underneath them. Regardless of how righteous your mission is, of how great the possibility you’re holding is, when you’re injecting your own outrage [into a situation] you’re going to create more separation. Resources from this episode: Gregg’s coaching practice for professional women - www.empowerandemerge.com www.relationshipcircle.com

[Listen on iTunes] CHRISTOPHER SUNYATA Sexual energy is the source of all life in this world. Vast physical pleasure, deep love, and even union with divine source can be experienced through sex. Christopher Sunyata teaches people how to embrace their sexual power and artfully conduct it through their body and intimate relationships, integrating this power into their whole life. Drawing upon decades of practice and study under masters of sexual yoga, Taoist exercises, and Buddhist meditation, he teaches ancient body-centered practices without dogma or esoteric language, leading others to discover the secret wisdom already present within their own body. By learning to trust this wisdom within their body, people can reclaim passion and life energy that is their birthright, and create intimate relationships that deepen in love and chemistry over the years. Prior to teaching he was a successful international project manager responsible for over a billion dollars in revenue, a medical device engineer with seven patents, and a ceramic artist.  He has raised four children, two of his own, including one who has significant disabilities. He lives in Molokai, Hawaii and Boulder, Colorado with his beloved wife Karlene. In this episode we talk about: What it’s like to be in his 50s and be having the best sex AND the most intimacy he’s ever had with his partner - and getting better every day. Chris’ touching story of how his grandfather taught him to truly love women. How awareness of our breath is the foundation of intimacy - and how to begin cultivating that awareness. Quotes from this episode: It was the first time I’d seen a married couple where they were flirting all the time. It shocked me how much joy they had in their relationship. Foreplay is happening 24/7 if you’re in a relationship. The man with the fullest breath in a room holds a gravitas and presence that other men feel and will respect and defer to that person. Resources from this episode: www.christophersunyata.com

[Listen on iTunes] MORRIS KUNZ has been a leader in the real estate finance industry for over 20 years. He has the ability to bring people together and negotiate transactions at a high level due to his understanding and skillset around the dynamics of relationship. He has successfully negotiated 100’s of millions of dollars’ worth of real estate transactions. Morris has also worked with many couples and individuals to unlock their authentic communication, express their truth without fear of judgement, and ultimately move to higher levels of relationship. In this episode we talk about: Morris’ journey in showing up as the role model he wished he’d been for his children. How to navigate the process of conscious uncoupling within marriage. How to maintain passion and excitement in your relationship through the concepts of polarity. The distinction between tolerating and celebrating your relationships. Quotes from this episode: I was absent for my boys more than I would have liked to have been, and I see them struggle because of that now I think that’s where the true connection comes in, when we can get past the storms of our partner and still be there strong, loving, vulnerable. Both people have to be 100% on board at looking in the mirror on “How can I make this relationship be one that I’m celebrating?” Resources from this episode: Way of the Superior Man by David Deida The Ultimate Relationship Program by Tony Robbins

[Listen on iTunes] TED RYCE is a health & fitness expert, professional speaker and host of the Legendary Life podcast. He's been a fitness professional for over 17 years in the Miami Beach area. He's worked with celebrities like Richard Branson, Robert Downey Jr as well as CEOs of multimillion dollar companies. He believes that health and fitness form the foundation of success in our life. After overcoming several tragedies, he started combining health with personal development to provide an all-encompassing approach to success and living a life of purpose. In this episode we talk about: The single art form that Ted practiced to excel in every area of life, including his relationships with women and his friendships. The importance of developing a healthy relationship with our masculine energy. His rocky and painful journey from family tragedy to healing and reconnecting with his father. Why crying is one of the most manly things men can do. Quotes from this episode: There is a shadow to masculine energy and that’s why it’s important to be in touch with it. It’s not inherently a bad thing. How you express it is key. Martial arts helped me with that. It’s about mastering your emotions, mastering yourself, and knowing that you DON’T have to get into a fight. My little brother was kidnapped when I was 19, he was 9. My dad and mom, they changed 2 laws in this country to make my brother’s legacy mean something. There’s a big misconception about women are emotional and men are logical, it’s all bullshit. Resources from this episode: www.legendarylifepodcast.com

[Listen on iTunes] FREDDY ZENTAL WEAVER co-lead creative self-discovery seminars at the Institute for Creative Living in Los Angeles, San Diego, San Francisco and Hawaii. He employs the approach of “Creative Self-Discovery” as developed by psychiatrist and author, Fred Weaver, III, M.D. During his tenure in software sales with companies including Eality, Ceridian Employer Services, Paychex and WebPerfect Solutions, Inc. he consistently achieved outstanding sales and income objectives. Freddy Zental’s career spans from serving as a teacher and district wide human relationship counselor in the Los Angeles Unified School District in his early career to being a performing artist with a one-man show called “Sexual Enlightenment” currently touring the United States. He is an accomplished performing artist, percussionist, stand-up comedian and story teller using humor, music and movement in his presentations and trainings. He holds a Bachelor’s Degree in political science and is a certified Thai Body Worker. FRED WEAVER III, M.D. earned his bachelors degree from North Carolina Central University, obtain his medical degree from Meharry medical college and completed a psychiatric residency at UCLA with a vast background of teaching consulting in private practice experience. His special interests include writing poetry, painting, creating multimedia collages, and writing about the creative process. Has been retired for the last 20 years. A native of Gainesville Florida Dr. Weaver currently lives in Marina Delray California. He is the father of four children Wanda, Freddy, Woody, and Milton. Dr. Weaver has published many poems and books. In this episode we talk about: How to raise your child to grow into the genius that they truly are What it was like for Freddy Jr. to grow up immersed in his father’s phsychiatric work (including sitting in on 24 hour nude group therapy sessions!) The special connection between a father and son who have BOTH committed their lives to personal growth Quotes from this episode: “[My father] has always been committed to allowing me to be, uncover, and discover“ “I think there should be a program in school for children to learn how to consciously self love.” “As your father I‘m going to attempt to be the best father I can be, make you the best person you can be, but a lot of times I’ll be wrong. A lot of times another person will be able to meet some of your needs that I can’t meet. And I hope that I can guide you in such a way that you can know who they are.” Resources from this episode: www.tantranova.com

[Listen on iTunes] MARK GROVES has a specialized interest in the area of Human Connection. He’s an author, speaker and sales consultant. He’s in love with science, psychology, and uncovering the mysteries of what makes great relationships work. Speaking of that, he’s certain there are no “secrets” when it comes to great relationships. Rather, he believes that all relationships are by design and we are all the architects of what we want. Mark has a Certificate in Applied Positive Psychology and has written for The Purple Fig, Plenty of Fish, Goodmen Project and Trifecta Magazine. When he’s not working with clients you’ll find him traveling the globe, playing in the mountains and ocean, or pretty much anything that gets his heart beating in the paradise that is Vancouver, BC. In this episode we talk about: How the 6 figure job and picture perfect engagement actually kept him AND his fiancee from true happiness. What makes some relationships last? And what makes others not? How to be a man who shows up 100% and is fully present. Quotes from this episode: “In relationships there’s so much freedom in just being real with each other.” “When you connect with who you are and what your truth is you’re better able to connect with others - because you’re not spending your time wearing a mask.” “We ALL have a responsibility to be role models for each other. “ Resources from this episode: www.markgroves.tv Mark's Instagram Mark's Twitter Man’s Search For Meaning by Victor Frankl Way of the Superior Man by David Deida

[Listen on iTunes] ROBERT B. SMYTH believes that stories are what make life, the world, and ourselves unfold. For 25+ years, he ran Yellow Moon Press, an independent publishing company, whose focus was the oral tradition as it relates to storytelling, poetry and music. His love of story drew him to the mythopoetic men’s work of Robert Bly, Michael Meade, James Hillman, John Stokes, and others as an organizer of numerous events where men explored and nurtured themselves with folktales, poems, and personal reflection. In his interview, he shares stories and poems that have revealed the world to him. In this episode we talk about: Robert’s journey into the mytho-poetic men’s work world of the 70’s and 80’s. The power of poetry to transform our relationships - to ourselves AND to others. What it means to be a man in the world without being that stereotypical dominant male. The importance of family lineage, and finding the grave of his great, great, great grandfather. Quotes from this episode: “The demons don’t go away, but you learn what they are, what they’re about, and how to talk to them… because they’re there because they’ve been ignored, and they need to be talked to just like you talk to a good friend if they’re having trouble to understand what’s going on.” “I was in boarding school and I had a couple of teacher that started to teach poetry, and it started to help me explain and understand and explore my feelings, my approach, my interaction with the world and with others.” Resources from this episode: Yellow Moon Press - Robert’s publishing company

[Listen on iTunes] MAX NACHAMKIN is a relationship coach for entrepreneurs, where he merges spiritual and practical real-world techniques to help business owners get out of tricky relationship situations and increase the amount of love, connection, and service they have in the world. In this episode we talk about: Max’s journey of learning to love his parents and accepting that they did the very best they could while raising him. How joy and play can help us get more of the connection, intimacy, and sex that we really want in our relationships. The secret to being really great with women: Crying. Quotes from this episode: “There are no experts, only people who’ve been winging it longer than you have”  “When we let go of these emotions they can’t control us anymore.” “When we’re light and we’re fun and we’re playful people are really attracted to that. Crying is a huge piece of that. For the guy who feels like his relationships suck, that would be a bigger game changer than any tactic or technique.” Resources from this episode: datingforentrepreneurs.com The 5 Love Languages

[Listen on iTunes] EVA CLAY, LCSW is a true wild woman. An acclaimed psychotherapist, tantrika, sex geek, and muse, her mission is to illuminate the ménage-a-trois of body, mind, and spirit in all our relating. She has helped thousands of people to achieve hot, healthy, holistic love. As a professor of neuroscience, Eva bodaciously reminds us that the brain is our biggest sex organ, and with great elegance she marries the profound with the playful.  Always called to uplift sexual wellness, she's worked for 20-years a sex educator and healer. She offers self-love and erotic intelligence programs for both women and men.  On her off time you might find her crashing open mic events in Venice Beach. In this episode we talk about: How to know if you’re in your body (or if you’re not!). How our breath is the GPS of our life, and why it’s so important to be in touch with it. How to get more embodied using breath, and why it’s essential to creating intimacy in relationships. Quotes from this episode: "Love Warriors. The masculine is one who protects, one who provides and does so out of love. Does so out of devotion. Devotion to his tribe, to his woman, to his family." "I don’t think it’s requisite to hate men if you’ve been violated by one.” "Emotional awareness is an absolute necessity to enter a state of empathy. If you’re not emotionally aware then it’s going to be hard for you to develop a deep intimacy with another human being." Resources from this episode: evaclay.com

[Listen on iTunes] MARIANE KAROU is the founder of Dance Alive, Inc., an integrated, comprehensive system of movement. Her professional life began at age 18 teaching preschool, where within a month she had become the director of the entire drama/dance department. Today she is a formative leader, master teacher,innovator and pioneer in the field of movement, somatic education and life training. She is recognized as an expert in stimulating creativity, clarity, and balance throughout one's whole life. In this episode we talk about: Seeing her brother develop schizophrenia and be healed by dance therapy, only to have it taken away and see his illness return. The necessity of embodiment practices for all men AND women. What every woman needs to know in order to have loving, communicative, and empowered relationships with men. The exact things that make men so relatable and lovable. Choosing between worldwide fame and success or her family, and how her choice ended up allowing her to have greater impact than she’d ever have been able to otherwise. Quotes from this episode: "By me actually receiving your energy it’s like wow! Not only can I use this for me in everywhere that I need to go, I can also give it back to you and say thank you. Thank you for your energy. Thank you for your attention. Thank you for being so present with me. Thank you for being so steady and connected to yourself." "I can’t include you as a male if I’m not including myself as a female." "[As a woman] men are always telling you how they feel. They don’t always use words but they’re so clearly on board. That’s what I love about men. If I’m open men are just right there, so present. All they’re waiting for is women to be open." Resources from this episode: www.dancealive.com

[Listen on iTunes] Kevin Hedeen was born in Detroit Michigan almost 56 years ago. From ages 10-15 he lived in Frankfort Germany and from age 15-17 he lived in Port Elizabeth South Africa. He found his way into the pharmaceutical industry as an analytical chemist, a good paying job that led him to marriage and two sons. Inside he was guarded to the point where he was mostly numb to what he felt – although experiencing the birth of his children gave him a glimpse of what his world of feeling could be like. In 1995 Kevin was introduced to the ManKind project and did the New Warrior Training Adventure (NWTA) weekend, where he opened himself to a deep inner journey that helped him release and heal within a container of powerful men. He's been in the same men’s group since then, and has gone on to serve as staff for 47 trainings. Kevin continues to sit in the discomfort of fully expressing his bisexuality within a monogamous relationship to a loving and powerful woman. He is currently leaning into a new phase of his life that includes community circles that are co-gender, while continuing to engage circles of men.  He seeks to expand himself to deeper understandings of people who are different from him as he redefines himself as a licensed clinical social worker after 26 years as an analytical chemist. In this episode we discuss: His work as an established leader with The ManKind Project Using authenticity and emotion to step into leadership Coming out as bisexual to his sons Balancing anger and power with listening and passivity in a healthy way Quotes from this episode: “I’ve been very engaged by my relationships with men, how they moved inside of me and shifted me into a place where I could step authentically into what leadership was for me... It was more about just being who I am.” “I can be powerful in my authentic self… it’s not always about tears and pain… yet I need to reveal that part to allow the fullness of myself to come forward.”   "There's a compassionate side of me that's more nurturing and more interested in holding what a man has to say, as opposed to galvanizing or inspiring them to make a change. I see the opportunity to balance these two energies, the masculine and feminine in me." 

[Listen on iTunes] BOYSEN HOGDSON is the Marketing & Communications Director for The Mankind Project USA. He works with a small team of staff and volunteers to create marketing materials, strategies, and programs to support the work of the ManKind Project in mentoring men through the passages in their lives. In this episode we discuss: His mentor, Ray, who unified eighteen 1 room schoolhouses to form the very first elementary school system. Letting ourselves be truly seen by other men. The power and freedom of men healing themselves. Being a father. Quotes from this episode: "The work that I do now with MKP is creating more men (like Ray Sant) to inspire others to see way bigger than they thought they could. I help men heal the parts of themselves that need to be healed in order to see themselves in a bigger context." "I learned I was capable of expressing myself in a  way that I didn’t think was possible. If I let that rage out it would consume me. If I let that grief be visible to the men around me it would consume me. I think that I’m not unique." "I learned that I could tell the truth in relationship and that I wouldn’t be rejected, even the parts of myself i thought were so ugly and horrible could be held." Resources from this episode: The Mankind Project

[Listen on iTunes] GUY SENGSTOCK is the founder and creator of the modality of Circling. He has been facilitating transformation for individuals, groups and corporations internationally for more than 20 years. He has a BFA from the San Francisco Art Institute and is the co-founder of The Arête Center for Excellence and the Bay Area Men’s Circle, which is still thriving today. He is an artist, philosopher, poet, body-worker, and visionary. In part 2 of this episode we talk about: The bliss and the terror in truly discovering yourself. Developing trust. What it means to truly, deeply see another human being, and to be seen ourselves. Quotes from this episode: "A lot of men don’t realize that in order to have sex they have to be vulnerable." "The moment I put a shell around my vulnerability is the moment I become brittle." "I can love you. I can communicate that I love you. I can appreciate you, I can write letters to you, I can do all these kinds of things and I can love in all the different ways that I can but the one thing that I can’t give you is the experience of being loved by me." Resources from this episode: The Circling Institute guysengstock.com

[Listen on iTunes] GUY SENGSTOCK is the founder and creator of the modality of Circling. He has been facilitating transformation for individuals, groups and corporations internationally for more than 20 years. He has a BFA from the San Francisco Art Institute and is the co-founder of The Arête Center for Excellence and the Bay Area Men’s Circle, which is still thriving today. He is an artist, philosopher, poet, body-worker, and visionary. In part 1 of this episode we talk about: Guy’s mentorship with his grandfather, a master tailor, who taught Guy to follow his own curiosity. His initiation into manhood in the desert of Arizona. What it means to truly, deeply see another human being, and to be seen ourselves. Quotes from this episode: "My grandfather was the one safe spot in the universe for me. My grandfather saw a particular brilliance in me." "When I was 17 I went into a locked ward mental institution. I was kind of suicidal. What I understand that now to be is that To be male, to be awake and aware, with no support for being awake and aware in a culture that isn’t." "My dad used to get high and drunk, and he used to sit me on his lap and say who great I was and how proud he was of me and all these kinds of things, however, what he said wasn’t parenting me. Parenting is the thing that happens when we’re not thinking about parenting." Resources from this episode: The Circling Institute guysengstock.com

[Listen on iTunes] BRYAN REEVES is a Relationship Insight Ninja who's writing on feminine and masculine dynamics has been shared hundreds of thousands of times on the internet through sites like The Good Men Project, Cosmopolitan, and The Elephant Journal. He's also taught mindfulness to military vets, people with autism, and as a transformational coach he works with people inspired to live in their fullness, and who aspire to inspire others. Bryan works with leaders and executives, creators and artists, visionaries and passionate seekers – anyone committed to creating a thriving world by showing up and offering their authentic gifts to the world. Bryan is the author of his book The Sex, Flirting, Dating, Hunting, and Hoping Diet. In this episode we discuss: The single thing that women are afraid of in men. How men have castrated their masculinity and how that impacts women negatively. Embodying a strong masculine energy that will simultaneously empower women. How men are not nearly as alone as they think they are. The repercussions of a hyper-masculine military: "When I got out of the military I was dead inside. I literally couldn’t feel anything. I couldn’t laugh, I couldn’t cry." Transforming from a fearful, checked out boyfriend to a trustworthy, mature masculine man. Mutual magic making between men and women. How women are not defective versions of men. The growing number of thoughtful, mature masculine men in our world. Inviting men to step up to a fuller version of masculine maturity. Quotes from this episode: "There’s a reverence that comes with maturity. There’s a reverence for life even as we’re taking life." "What men don’t want to share but is true for all of us is that somewhere inside we’re scared shitless. Or at least that we don’t measure up. Once we start confessing that to each other magic can come from that. Once we start allowing each other for that to be there and be ok and to not judge it.. vulnerability is not the same as weakness." "None of us is feeling anything that someone else hasn’t felt before. We’re not nearly as alone as we think we are. Men especially need to come out of that closet with each other. And we can create that. We really can." "When a man checks out that’s death to the relationship, that’s death to her heart. But that’s what we men do. So many of us do it out of a fear of 'If I really rise into my masculine and really own this relationship and this woman I’m going to scare this shit out of her. I’m going to dominate her. I’m going to overwhelm her, I’m going to destroy her.' So what we men have done is we castrate our masculinity because we don’t want to do that... I think what’s happening in our evolution is that we have the opportunity as men to learn how to breathe in that juicy delicious strong masculine energy without disempowering our women." Resources from this episode: www.bryanreeves.com | Relationship Insight Ninja Blog article | How Hiding Weakness Kills Men  

[Listen on iTunes] DREW GERALD is an entrepreneur, coach, and published author of "Holistic Sex" and of the highly-anticipated forthcoming book on sex, “Become A Remarkable Lover, Vol. I – Fundamentals”. Drew also hosts a #1 iTunes featured sex advice podcast – “Dirty Talk with Drew Gerald”. His popular blog “The Polyman” inspires over 13,000 men per month; a place where he intimately shares personal insights, struggles, and lessons on helping make the best men, better. In a previous life, he founded and ran a high end software company for over 7 years - creating solutions used by Fortune 500 clients such as Disney, Square-Enix, Sony Pictures, Whole Foods, BT, Walmart, Discovery Channel, Turner, Acura, and thousands of others. In this episode we discuss: How to be the creator of your life How to become a highest caliber lover. Why having better sex isn’t really about the sex. Drew being in touch with his biological father for the first time since he was 3 years old. Going from suicidal depression to not ever wanting to die: "I decided to do whatever it takes to get a girlfriend, make friends, be happy, learn how to be confident, and love myself or to end it.” Going from Googling "How to be cool", "How to make friends", and "How to get a girl to like you" to teaching conscious sexuality and empowerment to men and women around the world. Quotes from this episode: "It’s about the confidence, the empowerment, the love, the connection. It’s about all of the real things that a life worth living is made for." "At the end of the day it’s not really about the sex, it’s about happiness. It’s about living the life you want to live. It’s about waking up every day and wanting to live." "You can either live your life at effect, where the world around you is the cause... Living as the victim of the world’s circumstances... Or you could be the cause of your circumstance. You could be empowered and create the world around you rather than being created by the world around you.” “There are 2 things to do if you want the best transformational/personal development education in your life: 1. Get in a relationship. Your relationships are going to teach you incredible things. 2. Be an entrepreneur. Start a business. You want a fast track to growth, acceleration, transformation? These two things will save you hundreds of thousands of dollars in trainings." Resources from this episode: The Remarkable Lover - Confidence. Orgasms. Love. Fulfillment. Now all within your reach. Get ready to create the sex life you deserve. Holistic Sex - Overcome limiting beliefs & heal past wounds to reach the purest, most evolved, enlightened sex of profound pleasure & love. The Polyman - Making the best men, better. Dirty Talk with Drew Gerald - The aspects of sex and rela­tion­ships too taboo for main­stream rela­tion­ship advice shows.

[Listen on iTunes] DESTIN GEREK is a transformational empowerment coach who specializes in helping men and women awaken their sexual energy, while harnessing this newfound power to passionately manifest their biggest visions, and create the lives of their dreams. A globally recognized thought leader in the realms of sexuality, consciousness, and personal transformation, Destin has been working in the field of human sexuality for over 17 years. In this episode we discuss: Healing the generational chain of anger in his family. What leads a man to being “That creepy guy.” The most valuable resource in his life (no, it’s not money), and how he used it to create a live workshop for 300 people from 5 continents. Ending the battle of the sexes. Cultivating gratitude for his father and the sacrifices dad made. The power of sacrifice (Hint, the root of the word is “To make sacred.”) What it takes for a man to take responsibility for his turn on (and remove women from the role of sexual gatekeeper). Quotes from this episode: "The connected to your heart part? The part of you that’s aware and has a sensitivity to it? Wonderful! Let’s integrate that with a real ownership of your sexual desires. Claim your sexuality, claim your desires, recognize the gift that your sexuality can be.” "The journey of discovering what it is for me to be a man in the world, where at one time it seemed like this big overwhelming thing that I needed to address or didn't want to address has become this thing where the more I dive into it the more I love who I become." Resources from this episode: www.evolvelivela.com | A Sexual/Spiritual Transformation | Jan 16th-18th 2015 www.destingerek.com www.embodiedman.com

[Listen on iTunes] MIKE HROSTOSKI is The Men’s Coach and creator of The Conference for Men. He helps high performing men master their relationships with their women and their work. For the past three years he’s run his coaching practice while living and traveling in 12 different countries around the world. In this episode we discuss: Becoming a master at your craft. Masturbation, sex, and arrogance. Why you’re stuck in a mediocre life (you'll be surprised, the reasons are brilliantly counterintuitive). The two questions that will get you unstuck from any situation. What the women in your life actually crave from you, and how to tap into that part of yourself. Why your humility is a detriment to the world. Taking a stand for who you are and what you do. Mike's newest project: The School for Men (tiny sneak preview here!) Quote of the episode: “Every father, when he holds his child for the first time has no idea what he’s doing. But you do your best. All of our fathers, they did their best.” Resources from this episode: www.hrostoski.com The Conference for Men August by Mike Hrostoski David Deida Martha Beck Chris Guillebeau

[Listen on iTunes] NATE BAGLEY is a Love Expert who has interviewed hundreds of the happiest couples in the US. He is the creator of The Loveumentary and Unbox Love and he has dedicated his life to showing the world that there is no limit to the amount of intimacy and connection that’s available within our relationships. In this episode we discuss: Creating the relationship of your dreams (especially if you’re already in one). The one thing that will sabotage a relationship faster than anything else. The 3 steps to creating a relationship that only gets better with time. Why accepting influence from your partner allows your relationship to not only last, but flourish. Why emotionally intelligent men experience deeper connection with their partner. How the simple practice of meditation can save your relationship. Quote of the episode: "The beauty of love is that there is no such thing as perfect love. There is always, always, always room for improvement. There is always something you can do differently or better. You can be more present, more attentive. You can be more connected or more vulnerable. You can implement new traditions or new ways of connecting physically, mentally, emotionally, or spiritually. There’s always something that can be worked on." Resources from this episode: LoveCon Unbox Love The Loveumentary Ty and Terri on The Lovementary Esther Perel's TED talk on the secret to desire in a long term relationship Dr. John Gottman Calm.com

[Listen on iTunes] CALEB BACON is the creator of Man School, a weekly podcast dedicated to men’s interesting, exciting, and difficult personal experiences. He's also a member of the elite Writer’s Guild of America, currently writing for the TBS tv series Sullivan and Son, and a really engaging, funny, and thoughtful man! In this episode we discuss: The creation of the Man School Show Creating one of the most powerful interviews of Sugar Ray Leonard’s career Getting sober: “I didn’t know things were quite so off track.” Choosing work we'll still be passionate about years down the road Delaying gratification for long term fulfillment Top baseball players seek support in maximizing their game. Why shouldn't you? Following in the footsteps of a dad who was two time Prom King. Men + Vulnerability = Magic Reach Caleb at: www.manschoolshow.com www.calebbacon.com @calebeatsbacon

[Listen on iTunes] JOHN WINELAND is a purpose centered, embodiment driven men’s coach. He runs men’s groups for hundreds of men, has a men’s relationship coaching practice, and supports men in finding their deeper purpose and opening their bodies to be available for relationship. In this episode we discuss: How to transform jealousy into deep trust (and have fun doing it). Raising a daughter with cystic fibrosis. Claiming a woman's heart: How to do it and how not to. The gift of having deep, consistent support from men in our lives. Tantric ninjas leaping out of bushes. Resources from this episode: The Way of The Superior Man by David Deida Chögyam Trungpa www.johnwineland.com Also mentioned: Rich Litvin (mentioned twice as a part of John's ongoing men's group) Claire Wineland's TedX talk Claire's Place Foundation