Great Sex Podcast

SummaryIn this episode, Dr. Heather England discusses male masturbation and the importance of using the right technique. She advises using lube, a lighter touch, and a slower motion during masturbation to create neural pathways that mimic partnered sex. She acknowledges that her opinion may be controversial but encourages listeners to consider the information and apply it to their own lives.TakeawaysThe right masturbation technique can help with arousal and prevent issues contributing to erectile dysfunction.Using a hard grip, no lube, and a fast motion during masturbation can cause your penis to expect intense stimulation to stay aroused and thus hinder arousal during partnered sex.Train the penis to be aroused during masturbation in a way that mimics partnered sex by using lube, a lighter touch, and a slower motion.Be mindful of the neural pathways created during masturbation and aim to create pathways that are similar to partnered sex.Consider the information shared and apply it to your own life, taking into account your own experiences and preferences.

SummaryIn this episode, Dr. Heather England discusses the process of transitioning from a non-sexual state to a sexual one. She emphasizes the importance of consent and empowerment in one's sexuality. Dr. England provides practical tips and activities to help individuals get in the mood for sex, such as engaging in activities that create closeness with their partner, thinking about past fulfilling sexual experiences, and exploring fantasies and erotica. She also highlights the significance of mental and emotional preparation, including self-talk and relaxation techniques. The episode concludes with a challenge for listeners to identify ways to transition themselves into a sexual mindset.TakeawaysConsent and empowerment are essential in one's sexuality.Engaging in activities that create closeness with your partner can help get you in the mood for sex.Thinking about past fulfilling sexual experiences and exploring fantasies and erotica can enhance sexual desire.Mental and emotional preparation, such as self-talk and relaxation techniques, can facilitate the transition to a sexual mindset.It is important to embrace and empower your sexuality.Chapters00:00 Setting the Stage03:48 Transitioning from Being Non-Sexual to Sexual07:57 Activities to Get in the Mood13:19 Mental and Emotional Preparation15:09 Exploring Fantasies and Erotica________________________________________________

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SummaryIn this episode, Dr. Heather England interviews Beverly Rouse, a licensed clinical professional counselor and executive coach, about therapy and sex therapy. Beverly shares her journey from the military to becoming a therapist and explains the role of therapy in helping individuals navigate challenges and improve their relationships. She also discusses the misconceptions about sex therapy and highlights the importance of self-care in maintaining overall well-being.TakeawaysTherapy provides a safe and non-judgmental space for individuals to explore their challenges and work towards personal growth.Sex therapy is a specialized form of therapy that focuses on addressing sexual issues and improving sexual well-being.It is important to find a therapist who is a good fit for you and with whom you feel comfortable discussing sensitive topics.Self-care is essential for maintaining overall well-being and should be prioritized to prevent burnout and promote self-compassion.Chapters00:00 Introduction and Background02:24 Becoming a Therapist05:16 Challenges of Deployment08:11 Asking for Help10:35 The Role of Therapy14:51 What is Sex Therapy?Ms. Rouse's Contact Information: Empowering Insight, LLC Email: empoweringinsight@gmail.comHer LinkedIn________________________________________________

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SummaryIn this episode, Dr. Heather England addresses a listener's question about not wanting to have intercourse with their partner. She emphasizes the importance of consent and the negative effects of having sex when not desired. Dr. England explores various reasons for not wanting intercourse, including lack of enjoyment, past traumas, societal influences, and unmet needs. She encourages open communication and relationship negotiation to find a solution that satisfies both partners. Dr. England also suggests exploring other pleasurable activities and addressing pain during intercourse. Lastly, she discusses the concept of viewing sex as a gift for one's partner.TakeawaysConsent is crucial in any sexual activity, and it is important to feel safe saying no.Understanding the reasons behind not wanting intercourse can help address underlying issues.Open communication and negotiation are key to finding a solution satisfying both partners.Exploring other pleasurable activities and addressing pain during intercourse can enhance sexual intimacy.Chapters00:00 Introduction: Question about not wanting intercourse03:19: Reasons for not wanting intercourse07:19: Exploring underlying issues11:34: Negotiating and compromising in the relationship13:00: Finding other pleasurable activities13:59: Addressing pain during intercourse19:10: Viewing sex as a gift19:38: Conclusion and call to action________________________________________________

In this episode, Heather shares an announcement about rebranding the podcast and then provides a tip for Valentine's Day. The tip focuses on making your partner feel valued and cherished. TakeawaysThe podcast is being rebranded to cover a broader range of topics beyond just sex.Valentine's Day is an opportunity to make your partner feel valued and cherished.There are many simple and thoughtful ways to show your love and appreciation. These don't have to be a grand gesture or expensive.Investing in your relationship and doing little things for your partner can strengthen your bond whether you do them on Valentine's Day or all of the other days of the year.

Everything You Wanted to KnowSummaryIn this episode, Dr. Heather England and Michelle Tangeman discuss postpartum anxiety and depression. They explore the typical responses and challenges that new parents face after having a baby, including hormonal changes and the impact on relationships. They differentiate between baby blues and postpartum depression, emphasizing the importance of seeking help if symptoms persist beyond two weeks. The prevalence of postpartum mood disorders is highlighted, with one in five moms experiencing a perinatal mood and anxiety disorder. The episode concludes with practical tips for supporting a loved one and finding a competent therapist for postpartum mood disorders.TakeawaysPostpartum anxiety and depression can have a significant impact on new parents' emotional well-being, identity, relationships, and sex life.It is important to differentiate between baby blues and postpartum depression, with the latter characterized by persistent symptoms beyond two weeks.Risk factors for postpartum mood disorders include personal and family history, lack of support, medication changes, history of domestic violence or abuse, and pregnancy loss.Support from friends, family, and professionals is crucial in helping new parents navigate the challenges of the postpartum period.Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) can be an effective treatment for postpartum mood disorders, helping individuals challenge negative thoughts and reduce symptoms.Guest Bio:Michelle Tangeman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Board Certified Behavioral Analyst in private practice in the LA area. She is a child and family therapist in private practice at Michelle Tangeman Behavioral Health. Michelle has extensive experience in individualized behavior intervention, Functional Behavior Assessments, school-based services, family-focused intervention, early start services, and social skills training and provides these services to families across Ventura and Los Angeles counties. She has also completed the training as part of the Postpartum Support International's Advanced Perinatal Mental Health Psychotherapy Training Program.Additionally, Michelle founded an online education company, Thriving Toddler focused on helping as many people as possible become the parents they want to be.Michelle is also a podcast host and the co-founder of the Parenting Understood podcast. Michelle and her co-host are passionate about teaching parents about evidence-based interventions grounded in science to make a positive impact on the parent-child relationship.Resources:Beyond the Blues: Understanding and Treating Prenatal and Postpartum Depression & Anxietyby Shoshana S. Bennett PhD and Pec Indman PA,EdDPostPartum Support International

SummaryIn this episode, Dr. Heather discusses the difference between deal breakers and non-deal breakers in relationships. Deal breakers are actions or behaviors that breach core values and create irreparable cracks in the relationship, while non-deal breakers are annoyances that do not warrant ending the relationship. Dr. Heather provides examples of both deal breakers and non-deal breakers, such as abuse, opposing goals, financial disagreements, and differing tastes in music or hobbies. She also offers strategies for managing non-deal breakers, including processing feelings, changing mindset, practicing gratitude, showing compassion, and being curious. Dr. Heather emphasizes the importance of personal growth and transformation in strengthening relationships.TakeawaysDifferentiate between deal breakers and non-deal breakers in your relationship.Deal breakers breach core values and create irreparable cracks in the relationship.Non-deal breakers are annoyances that can be managed through personal growth and understanding.Strategies for managing non-deal breakers include processing feelings, changing mindset, practicing gratitude, showing compassion, and being curious.Learn more at www.lovefilledlife.com

SummaryThis episode explores the impact of medications on sexual functioning. Listen as we explore various categories of medications, including antihistamines, antidepressants, anti-anxiety medications, and others that can affect sexual desire, arousal, and orgasm. The episode emphasizes the importance of open communication with healthcare providers and offers suggestions for managing medication-related sexual side effects. It also highlights the need for self-advocacy and seeking support from mental health professionals. Please note this episode does not offer medical advice but rather highlights potential side-effects from over-the-counter and prescriptions medications on your sexual functioning. You should discuss your concerns with your medical provider.TakeawaysMany over-the-counter and prescription medications can impact sexual desire and functioning.Antihistamines, antidepressants, anti-anxiety medications, and other drugs can affect sexual functioning.It is important to have open and honest communication with healthcare providers about medication-related sexual side effects.Lifestyle changes, alternative medications, and supplemental treatments can help manage medication-related sexual dysfunction.

SummaryIn this episode, Dr. Heather England discusses body image and its impact on self-esteem and sexual expression with Cassie Willnauer, a licensed therapist specializing in body image and sexuality. They explore the Health at Every Size movement, challenging negative body image thoughts, and the importance of body acceptance in relationships. They also discuss the need for individualized approaches to sexuality and the role of mindfulness in overcoming distractions during sex. The episode provides valuable insights and practical tips for improving body image and enhancing sexual experiences.TakeawaysChallenge negative body image thoughts by questioning their validity and considering cognitive distortions.Practice body acceptance and allow yourself to be seen and touched by your partner.Embrace individualized approaches to sexuality and be open to modifying sexual experiences to accommodate changes in your body.Communicate with your partner about body image concerns and work together to create a positive and supportive environment.Learn more about Cassie Willnauer at https://www.cassiewillnauer.com/BooksThe Body Is Not An Apology by Sonya Renee Taylor, What We Don't Talk About When We Talk About Fat by Aubrey Gordon"You Just Need To Lose Weight" and 19 Other Myths About Fat People by Aubrey GordonCome As You Are by Emily Nagoski, Ph.D.. Accessible Sex Devices:Extra Long Handled Vibrator Liberator Wedge Pillow

Is happiness the key to a good life? What if the key to a good life is really something else? Let's explore what matters for your long-term happiness and health.In this episode, Dr. Heather England explores the key to a good life and long-term happiness. She discusses the findings from a long-term study on adult development and emphasizes the importance of cultivating good relationships. Meaningful connections with family, friends, and romantic partners contribute significantly to overall happiness and well-being. The study also highlights the importance of emotional intimacy within long-term relationships and the detrimental effects of toxic relationships. Loneliness is identified as a major public health challenge, with strong social support networks protecting against mental health issues. The impact of childhood relationships on adult health and happiness is also discussed. Dr. England concludes by encouraging listeners to take action and nurture their relationships for a better life.TakeawaysCultivating good relationships is the key to a good life and long-term happiness.Meaningful connections with family, friends, and romantic partners contribute significantly to overall happiness and well-being.Toxic relationships should be eliminated to protect mental and physical health.Loneliness is a major public health challenge, and strong social support networks are crucial for well-being.Childhood relationships have a lasting impact on adult health and happiness.Taking action to nurture relationships is essential for a better life."The Good Life" by Robert Waldinger and Marc Schulz.Download 10 Days to Great Relationships at www.heatherengland.com or www.lovefilledlife.com

In this episode, Heather discusses setting intentions for the new year instead of traditional resolutions. She shares her experience of choosing a word as an intention and how it has positively impacted her life. Heather emphasizes the importance of being present and focusing on relationships. She encourages listeners to choose their own word of the year and explains how it can bring about positive change.TakeawaysInstead of setting traditional resolutions, consider choosing a word as an intention for the year.Being present in the moment can lead to greater happiness and fulfillment.Prioritizing relationships over work can bring about a more balanced and fulfilling life.Choosing a word of the year can profoundly impact personal growth and well-being.For more information about strengthening relationships and creating your best life, visit www.lovefilledlife.comFor a fun way to close out 2023 and organize your thoughts and goals for 2024, check out this cool planner on Etsy by YarBar Studios.

I am taking a brief break over the holidays so today's podcast is a replay of one of our most popular episodes. Strengthening your relationship with your partner is important even if your relationship is going well and there are easy things you can intentionally do to create a fabulous relationship.***Ready to spice up your sex life? Get my FREE guide “69 Ways to Spice Up Your Sex Life” by going to www.lovefilledlife.com/69ways.***

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Today, we share 3 easy ways to make your sex life more fun, and who wouldn't want to make sex more enjoyable?***Want to know more about sex toys and how to use them to enhance your fun and sexual pleasure? Check out my new course: Toy Talk at https://www.lovefilledlife.com/toytalk******Ready to spice up your sex life? Get my FREE guide “69 Ways to Spice Up Your Sex Life” at https://www.lovefilledlife.com/69ways***If you'd like to learn more about specific techniques to get turned on, I encourage you to visit a research-focused organization called OMGYES which focuses on presenting helpful information to enhance female sexual pleasure.

On today's episode, Cooper and I talk about Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce's relationship and whether or not we think they will stay together. We think Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce have what it takes to remain a couple in a long-term, committed relationship. Plus, we are basing our opinion on the attributes of healthy couples that they both demonstrate.You won't want to miss this!

Sometimes, the once vibrant and exciting connection in a long-term relationship fades or dwindles due to a multitude of reasons. Couples find themselves confined to the boundaries of routine and predictability as they deal with the challenge of maintaining love and a healthy sex life in a long-term relationship.In today's episode, I delve into a topic that intrigues many of my clients – the secrets to maintaining love in a long-term relationship. To shed light on this, I have a special guest, my neighbor Linda, who candidly shares insights into her own relationship journey and sexuality.Marriage, goals, and preparation for the future.Linda is in her second marriage of 26 years with her husband Dennis which is why I consider her as a valuable guest for this episode. The couple exemplifies living life to the fullest, not only in adhering to family values but also in their evident love during vacations and daily interactions as they navigate a blended family.They decided to get married four months after they met. Linda recalls their early journey as a fun pursuit as they discussed their dreams, goals and even marriage with no option for divorce. She said that although her husband is not perfect, he definitely comes close, as he always strives to make her happy and make her feel loved. And despite occasional fights, they are determined to continue having a happy marriage which is why they always make up and start fresh with a new sense of determination every time. After all, life has its ups and downs.Setting goals in relationships is crucial. For Linda and her husband, they meticulously plan their financial contributions, such as but not limited to donations and gifts for their special needs son. Equally important is that they establish relationship goals that involve preparing for the future. This deliberate and thoughtful approach to setting goals not only enhances the quality of our relationship but also provides a roadmap for shared aspirations and individual growth.Building a strong and healthy relationship through communication and mutual respect.Linda and Dennis have intentionally cultivated a strong and enduring love through several key practices. They prioritize playfulness and silliness in their relationship, going out of their way to make each other feel important every day. Their expressions of love extend beyond mere practicalities and encompass appreciation for each other's presence and special efforts. Gratitude plays a significant role in their relationship, with the couple expressing thanks for even the smallest gestures, fostering an environment where annoyance finds little room to thrive. Little things greatly matter. Although they seem to be minor acts of love, they accumulate to create a meaningful and fulfilling life.Linda also emphasizes the importance of playfulness in maintaining a healthy sexual connection. Their approach to sex involves spontaneity, playful discussions, and an overall lighthearted attitude because for them, a healthy sexual relationship should incorporate elements of fun and enjoyment. Sexual desire and intimacy in older age and maintaining love and a healthy sex life in a long-term relationship.The sad truth is that there are still assumptions that society makes about sexual activity in older couples. There is also an unfortunate stigma surrounding women's sexual desires brought about by various historical and cultural factors. At present, many women are still ashamed to talk about sex. That is why it is important that we encourage open communication to help others understand and express their desires better. Many partners in relationships often lack the necessary knowledge and education about each other's bodies. This knowledge gap can lead to unsatisfying sexual experiences and issues within the relationship. Linda shares her insights from...

It's the holidays! On top of everything else on your to-do list, there's shopping, cooking, cleaning, decorating the house, spending money, and being extra nice to Aunt Ethel at your family get-together. You guessed it, it's holiday time! It's the start of the holiday season and for many people, that means family gatherings, lots of demands, social comparison, and high stress. Today, I want to share 5 tips to help you enjoy your holiday season and minimize the amount of stress you feel. Sometimes, it's easy to forget that for many people, the holidays can exacerbate their loneliness and grief for loved ones they've lost. Although the holidays are filled with joy, they can also be super stressful. It's easy to get caught up in comparing yourself to others and trying to be perfect. That right there is a recipe for anxiety. I want to share 5 strategies that can help you minimize stress and enjoy this wonderful time of the year.1. Don't Do Social ComparisonIt's easy to fall into the trap of comparing our holiday experiences to those we see on social media. We are bombarded with images of the perfect houses, the perfect decorations, the perfect turkeys, and the perfect families sitting around the table. And if that wasn't bad enough, when you open social media, you often see posts from someone you know who is jetting off to a beach vacation. It's easy to be jealous.Remember Teddy Roosevelt's famous quote: Comparison is the thief of joy.Instead of focusing on what others are doing, reflect on what brings you and your loved ones joy. Embrace the beauty of your traditions and create memories that resonate with your values.2. Set Boundaries and LimitsThe holidays often come with invitations, events, and commitments that can be overwhelming. It's okay to set boundaries and limits. Setting boundaries teaches people how to treat you and helps you to take care of yourself. Whenever anyone asks me to do something or commit to something that will require extra work, I take a pause and say, “Let me think about that and get back to you.” That way, I'm not on the spot feeling pressure to overcommit and I can truly think through everything.Prioritize the events that truly matter to you and your loved ones. Learn to gracefully decline invitations and understand that saying 'no' is a form of self-care, allowing you to fully enjoy the moments you choose to participate in.3. DelegateYou don't have to carry the holiday load alone. You can delegate tasks and responsibilities to family members or friends. Whether it's meal preparation, decorating, or planning activities, involving others not only lightens your load but also creates a sense of shared joy and connection.I struggle with this, partly because I have more time than my adult children and as a mom, I want to take care of them. But if you do everything yourself, not only do you run yourself ragged, but you also rob them of the joy of doing something to contribute.4. Take Time for YourselfAmidst the hustle and bustle, don't forget to prioritize self-care. Schedule moments of solitude to recharge. Whether it's a quiet cup of tea, a walk outside, calling a friend, going to the gym, or simply taking a few deep breaths, giving yourself the gift of time and space can do wonders for your mental well-being. Sometimes, when it's been a tough day, I take a long shower or a bath and I crawl in bed early with a book. I've learned what helps me to relax and recharge, and instead of doing one more thing on my to-do list, I know if I take the time to do some self-care, I'll feel a lot better.5. Move Your BodyPhysical activity is a powerful stress reliever. Incorporate movement into your holiday routine, whether it's a brisk walk,...

High sensitivity shapes the emotional experiences, perceptions, and interactions of approximately 20% of the population, spanning across diverse cultures globally.From intimacy to communication, the deeply felt emotions and heightened responses to sensory inputs influence how highly sensitive individuals engage with their partners. This trait often leads to a preference for deep, meaningful connections, while also making them susceptible to feeling overwhelmed.This episode is truly insightful as I am joined by Elizabeth "Biz" Cush – a women's life coach, licensed counselor, and the brilliant mind behind the Awaken Your Wise Woman podcast. Her holistic approach integrates body, mind, and spirit, fostering a beautiful, enjoyable life for her clients. And in this episode, we delve into the impact of high sensitivity on relationships and sex life.Highly sensitive people and their unique traits.Highly sensitive people (HSP's) refer to a genetically predisposed trait, with about 20% of the global population being classified as highly sensitive people.Highly sensitive people process sensory input—whether noise, smell, taste, touch, or emotions—differently. This distinct sensory processing results in a deeply emotional experience, a preference for profound connections, and a deeper and more deliberate processing of information before forming opinions or feelings about it.Interestingly, being highly sensitive doesn't strictly align with introversion; one can be an extrovert and still be highly sensitive, needing both social interaction and recharge time.With respect to relationships, being in a relationship where one partner is highly sensitive and the other isn't can sometimes lead to conflict, especially in scenarios where the highly sensitive individual feels overwhelmed or anxious in crowded or noisy settings that the non-sensitive person enjoys.Are you a highly sensitive person?To identify if someone is an HSP, tests and quizzes are available, such as the one on Dr. Elaine Aron's website. Dr. Aron has conducted extensive research on this. Take the self-test here: https://hsperson.com/test/Being an HSP impacts sexual relationships.Navigating sexual relationships as a highly sensitive person, particularly for highly sensitive women, poses unique challenges. The HSP personality trait, an aspect of the nervous system, renders individuals acutely aware of various sensory inputs, often impacting their experiences in intimate relationships.For highly sensitive women, the intricacies of their sensory processing sensitivity can deeply influence their sexual relations. Although HSPs can enjoy sex, this acute awareness can lead to a heightened vulnerability to negative emotions and feeling overwhelmed, particularly in scenarios where their partner's desires may conflict with their own comfort levels.Non-HSPs need to understand the unique needs of their HSP partners.Balancing the needs and desires of the self and the romantic partner is a delicate yet crucial aspect of enjoyable sex for those with a highly sensitive nature.Highly sensitive individuals can sometimes feel overwhelmed. They experience heightened sensitivity to smells, making cleanliness particularly important for their partners. According to Biz, even the texture of fabrics could affect physical closeness.Communication regarding what types...

Great sex encompasses a wide spectrum of elements or factors that go beyond the physical act of intercourse itself. It is a holistic experience that incorporates emotional intimacy, effective communication, variety, mutual satisfaction, foreplay, and more. And while our modern world has evolved significantly in terms of openness and acceptance, the topic of sex remains elusive, shrouded in cultural, religious, and historical taboos. This enduring societal discomfort surrounding sex has profound implications for individuals, relationships, and society as a whole. And so, we dive deep into how sex is not simply just about intercourse and why we should acknowledge the fact that intercourse isn't the end all and be all for sex.Sex education and societal taboos.The traditional concept of sex, which primarily focuses on intercourse for reproduction, has been deeply rooted in our culture and educational system. The majority of us were introduced to the subject of sex through an educational approach that highlighted its biological purpose, frequently utilizing vivid and explicit imagery that left us feeling uncomfortable. For so long, sexual discussions were not common and somehow, they are still considered taboo by many. The omission of discussions about sex as an expression of love between two people or as a source of sexual pleasure was likely driven by fear or concern that teaching pleasurable aspects of sex would lead to increased teenage sexual activity. However, this omission has consequences. By not addressing the positive aspects of sex, like connection and pleasure, we continue to perpetuate the taboo and shame associated with the topic. The consequences of this lack of comprehensive sexual education extend beyond individuals and can impact relationships as well. The absence of open conversations about the emotional and pleasurable aspects of sex can hinder communication and lead to misunderstandings between partners. How people learn about sex through the media.As human beings, it is our innate tendency to seek out knowledge and understanding when faced with something new. This natural inclination usually leads us to turn to various mediums, such as books, articles, or visual media, to gain insights and information. In the case of learning about sex, our observations often come from sources like Hollywood movies and pornography, which have played an influential role in shaping our understanding of human sexuality.However, Hollywood portrays sex in a way that frequently emphasizes women experiencing mind-blowing orgasms from intercourse, as we've all seen how they're portrayed in movies and TV shows that rarely reflect reality. On the other hand, there's pornography, which has its place as entertainment but should not be considered a source of education. This is because porn often features exaggerated and sometimes painful-looking sexual encounters, with women seemingly enjoying every moment, even when it appears far from pleasurable. It's concerning that the average age for first exposure to pornography in the US is just 12 years old, and many kids even younger than that are exposed to it. In fact, a study on adolescent pornography use found that nearly 69% of teens had viewed pornography, and this exposure can lead to the development of what experts call "pornography-influenced sexual scripts." These scripts can misguide people about how sex should be, as pornography does not represent the average person's sexual experiences. Thus, the way we learn about sex, whether from Hollywood or pornography, often falls short of providing an accurate and healthy perspective on the subject.Female orgasm and sexual pleasure.I used to throw around the statistic that around 30% of women can orgasm from penetrative intercourse, but my perspective has shifted, as a closer examination of research indicates...

The prevalence of erectile dysfunction (ED) tends to increase with age, underscoring its status as a common issue faced by many individuals and couples. And by the year 2025, it is projected that a staggering 325 million people worldwide will be struggling with erectile dysfunction. The problem, however, is that this is still a matter many people tend to avoid discussing openly despite ED being a prevalent issue and thus, it is often unaddressed.As a certified sex therapist, I frequently receive inquiries from people regarding ED. And so, for this episode, let us shed light on the impact of ED and the need for open communication about it to help individuals and couples manage the condition within their relationships.Erectile dysfunction and its impact on mental health.In many cases, partners tend to overlook or pretend not to notice when their male partners experience erectile dysfunction (ED), creating an uncomfortable unspoken issue, often referred to as the "elephant in the room." As we know, men's sexual arousal is externally visible compared to women, making it challenging to hide when an erection does not occur. This visibility can contribute to feelings of inadequacy, as societal expectations link masculinity to sexual performance, particularly in terms of having strong erections and providing satisfying intercourse for their partner.However, the reality is that not all individuals, especially women, achieve orgasm solely through penetrative intercourse. Many myths surrounding masculinity make it difficult for men to accept that they can still be wonderful sexual partners even if they experience ED or difficulties with erections. These misconceptions or misunderstandings can lead to various coping mechanisms, such as pretending ED didn't happen or even blaming their partners, unfairly attributing the issue to a lack of proper stimulation or desire.Unfortunately, partners often internalize these criticisms, feeling that they are somehow inadequate or unattractive, even when their partners don't explicitly blame them. The misconception that their desirability is the root cause of ED can take a significant toll on their self-esteem. Erectile Dysfunction and its impact on relationships.Intense shame is commonly felt by those struggling with ED, which goes beyond mere embarrassment. This stems from a deep-seated feeling of not being good enough or feeling like they have failed their partner. And such profound shame can be emotionally debilitating and lead individuals to avoid intimacy altogether.Partners of those experiencing erectile dysfunction often struggle with emotional distress. This stems from the fact that individuals with ED frequently shy away from all types of sexual intimacy and even physical contact, primarily due to overwhelming shame. They fear the risk of not achieving an erection, which would result in feeling terrible about themselves. In turn, however, their partners feel undesired, unloved, and even rejected because of their abstinence from any sexual engagements. This avoidance even extends to activities that do not involve penetrative intercourse, which can still offer both pleasure and emotional connection. The partners' anguish runs deep, as they long for the physical and emotional connection that has been missing due to their partners' avoidance.Avoiding physical touch and sexual intimacy can exacerbate ED because it deprives individuals of positive sexual experiences that could mitigate anxiety, a key contributor to ED. This avoidance may make them overly anxious, causing recurrent ED episodes and preventing them from fully experiencing the pleasures of intimacy. Moreover, such avoidance has the potential to lead to detachment within a relationship, effectively reducing partners to the status of mere cohabitants, which can lead to bitterness and unhappiness within a...

Strengthening a relationship and maintaining a vibrant and fulfilling sex life are crucial aspects of a healthy and enduring partnership. Couples often face various challenges, whether they stem from the demands of everyday life, the passage of time, or personal growth. Despite these obstacles, it is entirely possible to keep the spark alive and deepen the bond with your partner.Our remarkable guest, Laurel McHargue, shares valuable insights into how she and her husband have navigated these waters, making their relationship an inspiring example of how to nurture love and passion over the long term. This episode is in line with our aim to explore relationships and how they've evolved over time, particularly in terms of strengthening a relationship and keeping sex vibrant.Learning #1: Strong relationships are built on engaging communication and friendship.Laurel's philosophy of life revolves around the idea that a life without challenges is ultimately boring. This belief has been the guiding force behind her life choices and even the journey that led her to meeting Mike – her husband. Laurel and Mike were classmates at the United States Military Academy at West Point. However, they didn't spend any time together until they were both part of the leadership team for a cadet battalion during their senior year. (West Point refers to this as Firstie year) When they attended West Point, meals were mandatory and Laurel and Mike were seated at the battalion leadership table. The daily routine of dining together from breakfast until dinner gave them a great opportunity to get to know one another and to cultivate a friendship.Because they were both dating someone else at the time, they saw one another as a friend, which allowed them to chat and be curious about one another's personalities, values, and principles. Talking openly and frequently with each other caused Laurel to respect Mike and to see him as a challenge and ultimately, brought them closer. That is why their relationship has a great foundation built on friendship and a deep understanding of one another.Their story is a testament to the idea that choosing a life partner is not without risks, as you can never truly know everything about another person. It requires a leap of faith and a willingness to adapt and grow together. In fact, Laurel's career in the Army, marked by frequent moves and new environments, kept her engaged, active, and continually evolving. Nonetheless, she embraced change rather than shying away from it, making the most of each new opportunity and challenge that came her way. This adaptability was not only a key element in her personal growth but also in the success and longevity of her relationship with Mike. Every long-lasting relationship has its ups and downs.I truly admire Laurel's positivity and zest for life. Her vivacious and enthusiastic approach to life resonated with my own philosophy as a coach and therapist, where I aim to help people create the best lives for themselves, recognizing that we only get one chance at this journey.Every long-lasting relationship has its ups and downs. In some cases, couples consider divorce. In Laurel's case, she initially felt resentment due to an incident at a party but she quickly overcame it, demonstrating the strength of their relationship. She emphasized that being friends first, without the pressures of a sexual relationship, laid a strong foundation for their relationship. Additionally, she admired Mike because he was so disciplined, fit, educated, and self-motivated. Learning #2: A healthy relationship is built on respect.Maintaining a healthy relationship, particularly involving sexual intimacy, is an intricate dance that involves a delicate balance between individuality and respect. It's a journey where emotional and physical...

Understanding how sex evolves with age is vital especially in proactively maintaining sexual health for a fulfilling sex life well into late adulthood. We experience not only physiological changes that naturally occur but also the evolving mental, emotional, and relational aspects that shape our sexual experiences. The changes manifest diversely, encompassing shifts in hormones, alterations in muscle tone, adjustments in sensory perception, and variations in stamina. All these factors significantly impact our experience with and perception of intimacy. Having this understanding allows us to flexibly adjust and refine our approaches to intimacy, ensuring that our experiences are both enjoyable and satisfying.In this episode, we address the common concern from many individuals considering sex therapy, particularly focusing on how sex changes throughout a person's life and what can be done to maintain a satisfying sex life during midlife and beyond. How sex changes in midlife due to physical and health changes.There are many changes surrounding sex during midlife particularly caused by physical and other health factors. As individuals progress into their 40s and beyond, physical changes become more apparent—skin may sag, body composition alters with shifts in fat distribution, and muscle tone may diminish. A critical element of midlife changes is health-related challenges, which can significantly influence a person's sexual well-being. Chronic pain, stemming from various health conditions, can be relentless and detrimental to both physical and emotional aspects of intimacy. Conditions such as breast cancer, autoimmune diseases, and prostate issues can further complicate the ability to engage in sexual activities, creating a significant hurdle to overcome. These changes can significantly impact how individuals perceive and engage in sexual activities.Moreover, midlife isn't strictly confined to a particular age range; it's an expansive period that can extend well into the 50s and even early 60s. The onset of midlife varies among individuals, particularly for women who may undergo perimenopausal symptoms a decade before reaching menopause. The complexity of these physical and hormonal shifts can have profound effects on sexual experiences and desires.In line with this, midlife crisis is also an existential reckoning in this period. It is an introspective evaluation that involves scrutinizing the choices made thus far and contemplating what the next chapter of life should entail. It often prompts a reevaluation of relationships, careers, and personal fulfillment, including one's sexual experiences.As people approach midlife, their desires and expectations concerning intimacy also evolve. The intensity and immediacy of arousal and desire experienced in youth are notably diminished. It takes more time, effort, and deliberate stimulation to achieve the same levels of arousal. Understanding and adapting to these changes become crucial to maintaining a fulfilling sex life during midlife and beyond.One of the biggest mistakes that people make is failing to adjust expectations to align with the changes that come with aging. It is understandable that there are still those who cling to the notion of recapturing the wild and passionate sexual encounters of their youth without acknowledging the need for adjustments in approach and mindset. However, recognizing and embracing these changes can be transformative in ensuring and cultivating a satisfying and enjoyable sexual life throughout the midlife phase and even beyond that. Common mistakes in midlife sex and the importance of communication.One significant mistake observed in individuals approaching midlife is the lack of communication with their partners regarding evolving preferences and dislikes in sexual intimacy. They often neglect discussing how their needs and desires...

People want to know about sex but they are a bit afraid to talk about it. Conversations around sex and its frequency tend to carry a societal taboo, but it's a topic people genuinely want to explore. And one of the things people often ask me is how many times couples have sex. As individuals progress through different stages of life, their frequency of sex varies greatly for a wide variety of reasons. In today's episode, we will explore what sexual frequency across the lifespan looks like and talk about the danger of comparing yourself to others. Why do people want to know this?People often wonder if others are experiencing similar levels of sexual desire and activity. They compare themselves to others and they want to know if they are good enough, if their sex is good enough. In a sense, they are seeking a sense of reassurance through social comparison, a tendency prevalent in today's age of social media. Social comparison is when you compare yourself to others as a way of evaluating your life.Why how often you have sex matters.Why does how often you have sex matter? Because sexual frequency is important to your overall well-being and to your relationship satisfaction.One of the most frequent grievances in long-term relationships is dissatisfaction with the frequency of sexual activity. This affects both genders, contrary to common assumptions. Typically, males are the higher desire partner but sometimes, it is the female partner. Also, women with partners with erectile dysfunction (ED) who stop having sexual activity are also unhappy.Understanding how sexual frequency changes throughout your lifespan is important so you don't have unrealistic expectations. Research shows that most people think everyone is having more sex than they actually are. That can leave you feeling like something is wrong with your sex life. Sex frequency in relationships.Many believe sexual frequency declines over the life course of a relationship, especially for married couples. In truth, it fluctuates for both men and women based on their life stage, physical health, sexual attitudes, life events, day-to-day responsibilities, stress levels, overall sex drive, and the availability of sexual partners.Happy couples in long-term relationships focus on nurturing a strong emotional connection and friendship while also prioritizing intimacy and sex. This emphasis on friendship in romantic relationships often increases feelings of attraction and sexual desire.However, we need to approach statistics such as how often people have sex cautiously. Openly sharing numbers can sometimes harm individuals insofar as they may be misused as weapons for partners to hurt each other, and may also lead to feelings of inadequacy and self-judgment, negatively impacting self-esteem and the relationship. It can be very harmful if you learn that other people are having more sex than you if it causes you to spiral into self-judgment and shame.It's also important to recognize that it's rare to have a couple where they both want the same level of sexual frequency. Every relationship is unique and how much sex they have and the type of sex they have varies. What is enough for you might not be enough for other sexual partners. What's important is that you and your partner talk about your sex life in a way that is respectful and honors the sexual frequency and types of sexual activity that both of you need to have sexual satisfaction.Many people have low sexual desire because they don't enjoy the type of sex they are having especially if the focus is on sexual intercourse versus sexual acts that area pleasurable for both parters. One of the best ways to learn about what turns women on, whether you are male or female is an online organization that presents helpful info backed by research. It's called

In this episode, we bring you Part 2 of my conversation with Sharon Depcinski, a licensed clinical social worker and certified sex therapist for over 25 years. In this conversation, we focus on some of the medical implications and body changes that women go through during menopause. We'll also give you some additional resources that will be helpful to any woman going through menopause.Vaginal estrogen for menopause symptoms and affordabilityMenopause can throw a curveball at your vulvar health, but there's a superhero remedy that's gaining attention. Think of vaginal estrogen as the sunscreen for your intimate areas – essential from age 45 and beyond. Whether you choose a cream, a tablet, or a ring, it's like giving a refreshing drink to parched skin, keeping it healthy and resilient.Menopause transforms the vulvar landscape, leading to delicateness and certain areas shrinking. But here's the silver lining: vaginal estrogen comes to the rescue! What makes it even more appealing is that it acts locally, making it often safer than widespread hormonal treatments.On the brighter side, the benefits of vaginal estrogen often overshadow any drawbacks. When it comes to the wallet, most women find it reasonably priced, putting this wonder remedy within reach. Yet, it's worth noting that while many pharmaceuticals can be pricier than a fancy dinner, this essential treatment remains attainable for a vast majority.References you can check out for menopause, body image, and acceptanceNavigating menopausal symptoms can be tough, especially when faced with doctors who might dismiss them. It's crucial to find a physician or provider who genuinely listens. A valuable resource is the North American Menopause Society (NAMS). By visiting menopause.org, you can locate a certified menopause practitioner who has undergone extensive training in this field, ensuring they are well-equipped to assist.Dive into the enlightening world of Dr. Jen Gunter, the trailblazing OB-GYN and author behind hits like "The Menopause Manifesto" and "The Vagina Bible". If you're hungry for more of her wisdom, her blog, Vagenda, is a treasure trove of insights. Get your fix here: [https://drjengunter.com/](https://drjengunter.com/).For a more inclusive take on menopause, "What Fresh Hell Is This? Perimenopause, Menopause, Other Indignities" stands out. Especially for non-binary or transgender folks, it's like a warm, comforting blanket wrapped in pages of understanding.Juggling menopause and your 9-to-5? "Let's Talk Menopause at Work" is your go-to online guide. Besides breaking down menopause and its nuances, it features a nifty symptom checklist. Next time you see your doc, have it in hand for a game-changing chat.Now, let's address the elephant in the room: the dreaded weight gain, especially around the belly and thighs. But hey, society's beauty standards? Overrated! We are so much more than our physical selves. As you ride the waves of aging, embrace every part of you. Need a little nudge? Watch "Good Luck to You, Leo Grande". It's a cinematic gem that celebrates body love and the journey to self-acceptance.Aging, sexuality, and redefining expectationsAging is not just a passage of time—it's a bold new chapter in our book of allure and sensuality. Sadly, society's beauty playbooks often equate youthful glow with sex appeal, casting a shadow over the radiant charm of maturity. Take, for instance, the age-old myth that gray hair dims one's desirability. But guess what? Times are changing, and many are flipping the script on these dated views.Wearing silver locks? That's not just hair—it's a crown signifying wisdom, cherished experiences, and the tales of time. By letting our tresses flow naturally, we're not just embracing self-acceptance; we're making a loud statement of authenticity.Moreover, challenging beauty's...

In the swirling tapestry of a woman's life, menopause emerges as a defining chapter, signaling the culmination of her fertile years, often in the late 40's or early 50's. But this phase is not just about the physical metamorphosis; it is an intimate dance with changing desires and sexual vitality, demanding both comprehension and metamorphosis.This isn't just a time of bodily changes—it's an invitation to redefine sensuality and connection. By understanding and embracing these evolutions, we open a gateway to holistic health during this transformational odyssey.Today's episode plunges into the depths of the challenges that countless women grapple with during menopause: from the discomforts of dryness and pain to the ebbs of sexual longing, especially in a world where clear guidance on menopause is often scarce. We're thrilled to share the wisdom of Sharon Depcinski, a licensed clinical social worker and seasoned sex therapist with a rich experience of over 25 years, as she lights the path with her invaluable insights.Menopause symptoms, hormone fluctuations and hormone therapyNavigating the maze of menopause becomes even trickier for women using certain birth control methods like IUDs or hormonal implants. These methods can hide the usual signs, such as missed menstrual periods. For these women, the silent pause in their menstrual cycle might not necessarily ring the menopause bell, blurring the lines of when they truly cross that one-year threshold without a period, which is the official marker of menopause.But before menopause sweeps in, there's the prelude: perimenopause. It's like the overture to a symphony, setting the stage with erratic hormonal melodies, potentially lasting for a dramatic decade. These hormonal swings play out in a medley of symptoms: hot flashes, mood roller coasters, restless nights, and evolving passions. Here's the twist: these signs might start serenading some women in their 30s, making it essential to recognize their early tunes.However, simply checking hormone levels isn't enough to decipher this symphony. While hormone tests offer a glimpse of a specific moment, they might not capture the full, fluctuating crescendo of perimenopause. Just imagine: estrogen might peak during this prelude, potentially giving a false sense of where one stands in the menopausal journey if relying solely on that single note.Listening to the body's entire symphony of symptoms – the rhythm of periods, mood tempos, sleep patterns, and other classic perimenopausal cues – provides a richer and more accurate understanding of where one stands on this transitional stage, rather than relying on just a fleeting snapshot from hormone tests.Menopause symptoms and their impact on quality of lifeIt is important that your doctor is listening to your concerns and is genuinely caring about symptoms during the menopausal transition because the sad reality is that there are clinics prioritizing profit over understanding women's experiences, particularly regarding hormonal testing. Perimenopause, the transitional phase leading to menopause, presents a spectrum of symptoms that fall into distinct categories: physical, cognitive, mood-related, and genital-urinary. Each of these categories highlights the diverse ways in which the body responds to hormonal fluctuations during this life stage. In fact, 50% of women experience sleep disturbances during menopause. And as we know, sleep disruptions have a far-reaching impact on overall well-being. There are also cognitive changes, such as brain fog and word-finding difficulties, common during perimenopause. In addressing these symptoms, it becomes evident that maintaining a healthy lifestyle and prioritizing bone health are crucial strategies to lessen the overall impact of these changes. By focusing on a balanced diet, regular exercise—particularly weight-bearing...

***Ready to spice up your sex life? Get my FREE guide “69 Ways to Spice Up Your Sex Life” by going to www.lovefilledlife.com/69ways.***Navigating the waves of intimacy in a relationship is a common journey we all embark on. It's entirely usual to ride the ebbs and flows of passion, going through phases where the connection feels less intense, and other times when it's exceptionally vibrant. However, it's crucial to perk up your ears and pay attention when you realize that these once-frequent passionate encounters are becoming rare, occurring maybe only once a month or even less.Now, picture this: your own yearning for closeness feels like it's running on empty, but your partner's seems to be on overdrive. This mismatch can feel like a tough puzzle to solve. In this episode, we are on a mission to uncover the mysteries behind this dwindling passion, to explore the reasons why the spark may have faded, and most importantly, to offer you strategies to breathe life back into your sexual desire, reawakening the warmth and closeness in your love life.Declining sexual desire in womenIt's no secret that, for many of us women, the flames of desire might not burn as brightly as we age. Around the age of 45, many of us begin to notice a change, a slight dimming of the passions that once felt so vibrant. The arrival of menopause can feel like a gust of wind, causing the flames to flicker, affecting our bodies and our desires significantly. Aging does play its part, but the good news is, there are active steps we can take to fan the flames during this new phase of life.If you're feeling this cool down in your desires, it's important to reflect and pinpoint what might have changed since the time passion seemed to be your middle name. It's time to ponder what shifts in your life might be putting a damper on your desires.Addressing these issues can be a beacon of hope in rekindling your interest in intimacy. Relationship hiccups often are the unseen culprits behind dwindling desires. It's essential to scrutinize the dynamics of your relationship and assess whether the attraction to your partner is still as robust as it once was.Life, with its whirlwind of challenges, can lead us to drift apart from our partners. Sometimes, investing in the quality of your relationship through heartfelt conversations, seeking couples counseling, or dedicating time to each other can be the spark that reignites the attraction and, with it, revitalizes your intimacy desires.Factors affecting sexual desire and pleasureAnother factor that may contribute to low interest in sex is the quality of sex, whether it is bad or painful. Painful sex is a valid reason to lose interest in it and addressing this issue is crucial. No one should endure painful sex. Consult with your doctor to understand the reasons behind it. Sometimes, simple solutions like using more lubrication can make a significant difference. If needed, a sex therapist can help overcome any anxiety or spasms related to sex.Certain medications, especially antidepressants and some birth control pills, can diminish sexual desire and even hinder orgasm. If you've started a new medication and noticed a decline in your interest, discussing it with your doctor is essential.Fatigue can also be a major desire killer. If you're exhausted from responsibilities or have a hectic schedule, finding the right time for intimacy is key. Consider morning or afternoon sex to enhance your interest and energy levels.Hormone changes, such as those during menopause or due to birth control, can significantly affect your desire for sex. Menopause brings about physical changes that can make sex...

***Ready to spice up your sex life? Get my FREE guide “69 Ways to Spice Up Your Sex Life” by going to www.lovefilledlife.com/69ways.***Have you ever wondered why your "Va Va Voom" feels more like "Va Va... Meh"? You're not alone! I mean, it's no joke when your inner fire starts resembling a flickering birthday candle! Whether it's your crazy-busy life, your hormones having their own teen drama, or your relationship needing some extra spice, the struggle is so very real.Yes, Mars and Venus are different planets with different turn-ons. No, not all men dream in Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issues, and not all women need a 20-chapter romance novel. But understanding these key differences - that's what we're focusing on today!And who better to help me answer a listener question about sexual desire than my very own son, Cooper! That's right, today's episode is a family affair, diving into why you should treat your libido like a treasured heirloom: worth maintaining and sharing with your spouse! What is sexual desire?Sexual desire may have many different meanings depending on who you ask, but for the sake of this episode, we're defining it as how much you want to engage in sexual activity.Just like Mars and Venus, men and women have different experiences when it comes to sexual desire. Men generally have spontaneous sexual desire, and research shows that they think about sex an average of 19 times each day. For women, sexual desire can be less frequent and less spontaneous. Women experience desire most often as a response to some sort of stimulus. From a gendered perspective, women may not spend as much time actively thinking about sex as men do. Even as a sex therapist, I can attest that I personally don't constantly dwell on sexual thoughts. On a day-to-day basis, we don't often find ourselves preoccupied with thoughts of sex.Women have a responsive desire and crave the sense of being wantedWomen aren't just thinking about sex all day long - we're wired more for “responsive desire”. You might not start your day brimming with passion, but once you engage in some form of sexual activity—even just fantasizing—your desire gears up like a smoldering fire finally catching a flame.When it comes to long-term relationships, we often daydream that they're an endless buffet of desire. The reality check? Desire, especially for women, can be more like a limited-time offer. Emotional closeness doesn't always mean you're perpetually in the mood, contrary to what those fairytales told us.Here's another curveball: Mystery is to desire what seasoning is to a good meal. The more familiar you get with your partner's habits, the more the element of surprise evaporates. And let's face it, commitment in a monogamous relationship doesn't automatically mean you're top of the "desire" charts. It's different from the thrill of dating, when your partner was actively choosing you, not just sticking around out of obligation.This unique feeling of being the apple of someone's eye can fade as time marches on, giving way to less excitement and fewer spontaneous intimate moments. Many couples settle into a comfort zone, a repetitive pattern that could use some jazzing up. However, there is a light at the end of this tunnel. Open communication and new experiences can help you reignite that waning spark, keeping your love life far from mundane.Couples with higher desire do things differentlyWonder how your relationship may differ from those couples with really high sexual desire? There are 3 distinct things these couples do that other couples probably aren't doing on a consistent basis.1) High desire couples are more...

***Ready to spice up your sex life? Get my FREE guide “69 Ways to Spice Up Your Sex Life” by going to www.lovefilledlife.com/69ways.***Cultivating your relationship with your partner is important even if your relationship is going well. There's no harm in improving it, as people change, circumstances change, and relationships evolve. Remember that relationships thrive on connection and consistent effort.Strengthening your relationship doesn't always require doing grand gestures or spending a lot of money. If you want to strengthen your relationship, then this episode is for you. Although there are many ways for you to cultivate love, we will just be focusing on three easy ways, as these seemingly small acts can have the most profound impact on romantic partners.Simple things to do to cultivate loveI agree with the famous saying that it is the “thought that counts”. Sometimes, couples tend to stop doing the simple things that cultivate love, especially when they are busy with work, causing them to be disconnected from each other. Cultivating love in a relationship involves more than just grand gestures; it's about the everyday moments. Even a simple "good morning" text or a lingering kiss goodbye can set a loving tone for the day. Writing simple notes saying “I love you” may not be such a grand gesture, but it's the idea that your partner thought of you before leaving the house - and took the time to let you know - that can keep the good vibes flowing throughout the day. Personally, anytime we travel, my husband and I write Hallmark cards for each other and seal it, so that we can put it in each other's suitcase as a loving surprise for the trip.Set aside five minutes to connectAnd although the both of you might be too busy for each other, set aside five minutes of your time to sit down and take the time to connect with each other. In my therapy practice, I recommend to my clients to have five minutes of uninterrupted conversation with their partner to talk about their relationship. This greatly cultivates the relationship because you're building each other's trust and nurturing your love through a deeper connection. Spending quality time together fosters deeper emotional connection and helps partners understand each other better. During these moments, you can share how your day went, discuss any concerns or challenges, and listen to your partner's thoughts. Holding your partner's hand as you navigate through your day's events, or sharing your thoughts can be deeply meaningful. These gestures not only create a strong emotional connection, but also reinforce the bond between you and your partner.Trust is built over time through consistent actions and open communication. By consistently being present, you reinforce the trust your partner has in you. Setting aside five minutes for each other can also prevent issues from escalating into bigger problems. Do something new with your partnerSometimes, you just need to sprinkle a bit of excitement into your relationship by doing something new with your partner. In fact, research studies show that doing something new together releases dopamine – a feel good hormone. Breaking away from your same old routine can make your relationship more vibrant and alive. This boosts the communication in your relationship as you go through unfamiliar territory, ensuring that you're on the same page and learning more about each other's preferences.New experiences can rekindle passion and attraction between partners. Find things to do in your area that you think the both of you will enjoy. If you want to be more organized, you can try making a master list of

***Ready to spice up your sex life? Get my FREE guide “69 Ways to Spice Up Your Sex Life” by going to www.lovefilledlife.com/69ways.***If you'd like to learn more about specific techniques to get turned on, I encourage you to visit a research-focused organization called OMGYES which focuses on presenting helpful information to enhance female sexual pleasure. Women don't typically have spontaneous sexual thoughts, and compared to men, they don't have frequent sexual thoughts. That is why it's hard for some women to get themselves turned on or even get in the mood for sex. Communication is crucial in exploring more but how can you communicate what you want if you don't know how to get yourselves turned on? Boost your self-awareness and confidence through the tips I will be discussing in relation to getting turned on, which is one of the most significant barriers to having great sex. How do women get themselves turned on?Many women think there's something wrong with them or that they're not interested in sex because they don't sit around having sexual thoughts, getting turned on and wanting to have sex just out of the blue. The truth, however, is that it's normal and it's just how women are wired. As compared to men, women often get interested in sex once they start doing something sexual. Men have more frequent sexual thoughts and might also be more likely to externalize their sexual thoughts than women, which is why it is harder for women to get turned on. This may or may not apply to you, but in the case of many women, connection in a relationship is important for them to get in the mood to have sex. Sometimes, this need to feel connected hinders women from getting turned on and eventually having great sex. This connection goes beyond the physical aspects of sex and enhances the overall quality of the experience. If you're someone who needs that connection with your partner to get turned on, build that connection and explore more of what you both want. Stress and emotional well-being play a significant role in arousal. If we are anxious or uptight, oftentimes, we are not going to have the desire for sex considering that stress is a desire killer. It's a smart move to find a way to have sex at a time that works for the both of you - when you are both well-rested. Always keep in mind that relaxation is equally important in feeling turned on. Various fantasies also help some people get turned on and there's nothing wrong with that. Incorporating fantasies can add a bit of excitement into your sexual experience. You don't have to tell your partner all of your fantasies, as these are more personal and private. It's up to you if you want to share them with your partner to act them out and to explore more of your sexual desires.Transitioning your brain to sex and indulging in erotica.If you're having a hard time getting yourself turned on, it would be best to figure out what your sexual interests are which might help you get turned on to have sex. This is what I refer to as transitioning your brain to sex.Even as simple as setting up romantic candles or taking a relaxing bath, boost your mood for sex as you're transitioned into a more relaxed state being surrounded by an intimate environment. You can also anticipate sex with your partner to get yourself more turned on. For many women readers, they find romance novels filled with erotica sexually thrilling. This genre is popular especially now that there are audiobooks that they can listen to....

***Ready to spice up your sex life? Get my FREE guide “69 Ways to Spice Up Your Sex Life” by going to www.lovefilledlife.com/69ways.***If you'd like to learn more about specific techniques to help you orgasm, I encourage you to visit a research-focused organization called OMGYES which focuses on presenting helpful information to enhance female sexual pleasure. When it comes to having great sex, sexual pleasure and connection are important. For many peope, reaching orgasm is highly important. However, orgasms for women are often elusive than male orgasms due to a diverse range of factors including lack of sexual arousal, pressure to have an orgasm and not getting enough clitoral stimulation.If you don't typically have an orgasm or you're having difficulty having orgasms, there are some things you can change to increase your chances or having an orgasm. Difficulties in achieving orgasm shouldn't be viewed as female sexual dysfunction; it's a shared experience that affects not just female sexual arousal and sexual satisfaction but also sometimes, the couple's relationship and women's self-esteem. In this episode of the Great Sex Podcast, I shed light on the potential difficulties that women encounter. I also share some strategies and secrets to enhance your knowledge and sexual pleasure to help you on your journey to having consistent and pleasurable orgasms.For Many Women, Orgasms are Really Elusive.Ah, orgasms! They're like a burst of pure euphoria, releasing those delightful "feel-good" hormones in our brains. They're not just pleasurable; they're also great stress-relievers and provide health benefits such as relaxation, sleep, and an improved mood. The tricky part is that orgasms can be quite elusive for many women.This episode highlights the challenges of female orgasm versus male orgasm. Although some men have difficulty experiencing orgasm, the more likely scenario is for a female partner to have trouble climaxing. Research shows a very clear orgasm gap between men and women, with men having a higher orgasm frequency. This episode topic is important because so many women don't know how to increase their chances of having an orgasm. We hope to lower the orgasm gap such that women achieve orgasm parity. Learning how to orgasm is a unique journey for every woman. There's no one-size-fits-all answer, and that's what makes this journey unique and deeply personal.Understanding the Factors Affecting Female Orgasms.There are various reasons women have trouble reaching climax, and it's essential to explore these factors with empathy and self-compassion. Various factors may influence your ability to orgasm, such as the need for the right amount of stimulation to the right place for the right amount of time, the right mood, and environment, pressure to climax and knowing what you need to have an orgasm.The Pressure to Orgasm.One of the most significant challenges women face is the immense pressure to orgasm. This pressure can stem from a variety of sources, including societal expectations, media portrayals of sex, and personal insecurities. I've had the privilege of working with countless women who've grappled with orgasm challenges. Many of them felt pressure to reach orgasm, often as a means of pleasing their partner, and many have felt like they're letting their partners down when they are unable to orgasm.It's...

***Ready to spice up your sex life? Get my FREE guide “69 Ways to Spice Up Your Sex Life” by going to www.lovefilledlife.com/69ways.***Some people want to have great sex but they just don't know how. And as a sex therapist, I frequently get asked how couples can improve their sex life. As such, it's necessary to know that beyond communication and other factors, lies a journey of self-discovery and mutual exploration.If you want to learn more about great sex or if you wish to add spark in your sex life and achieve great sex experience with your partner, this episode is for you.What do we mean by great sex?When we talk about great sex, we are referring to great sex in a committed relationship, not just the fleeting encounter of a one-night stand. It is through the intimacy of great sex in a relationship that couples or partners get to build a deeper connection with each other, that is not just constrained to their physical bond.Each touch serves as a confirmation of fondness and every tender kiss an expression of deeper affection. This bond ignites pleasure and embodies an unspoken promise of mutual care, trust and respect.We also have to note that sex is not like those movie scenes that mislead us into believing that all sex is magical. In reality, sex can sometimes just be average or sometimes, a dud due to reasons like erectile dysfunction, difficulty in having orgasms, issues with sexual arousal, and lack of emotional connection and erotic intimacy.What are the ingredients for great sex?One of the biggest ingredients for great sex is being attracted to your partner. When you're in love with your partner, it makes you desire them in a romantic and intimate way because that's a way of expressing love. Sex with your partner is something that is special. I want couples to start considering sex as an avenue to explore and have fun freely rather than thinking of it as a chore that needs to be done. The foundation for great sex is a foundation of strong love that is built on trust and mutual respect. It's the love between you two that keeps you interested in having sex. For women, what gets them interested in having sex with their partners is that feeling of being closely connected to their partner. For men, on the other hand, they often feel loved through the act and experience of sex with their partner.Trust is an equally important ingredient in having great sex, as the foundation of strong love is built on trust and mutual respect. When you trust your partner, you know that you are fully safe and accepted for who you are. Being in a safe space lets you express yourself more freely, further allowing you to explore more of your sexuality. Communication is key to having healthy relationships. Being able to talk to your partner about sex significantly affects your sex life, as you're able to discuss your sexual preferences and interests, as well as your dislikes. Another ingredient for great sex is your mindset. This holds true as the brain is referred to as the biggest sex organ. It's your mindset about sex that can either make or break your sexual experiences. The thoughts, beliefs, and attitudes you hold towards sex wield a profound influence on your intimate experiences and interactions.The level of comfort that you have with your body also affects your sex life. We are our own harshest judges on how we look and how others perceive us. But often times, it seems that this issue matters more to us than it does to them. We have to instill in our minds the importance of self-confidence. It is what makes us attractive to other people and what makes us love ourselves better. Knowing yourself...

***Ready to spice up your sex life? Get my FREE guide “69 Ways to Spice Up Your Sex Life” by going to www.lovefilledlife.com/69ways.***Sex is one of the most important aspects in a relationship, which is why this is a topic that typically comes up when I talk to couples. Embracing the importance of great sex fosters deeper connection, elevating the relationship further and cultivating emotional intimacy in a relationship. I would consider my past self as quite inexperienced in some aspects of intimacy, but things took a positive turn as my husband empowered me to explore more of my sexuality and to embrace being sexual. Considering that I am a direct person, I am more comfortable now talking about sex even with my family when we have gatherings. I'm excited to be on this journey with all of you, as I answer burning questions about great sex and guide you to ignite your love and sex life. Remember that life is too short for bad sex. So stay tuned for my upcoming episodes!Did you ever have questions about sex or your relationship? And you were too embarrassed or awkward to ask anyone, even a friend? Or have you felt yourself drifting apart from your partner, and you miss feeling close and in love, but you just don't know what to do? Or do you wish you were better at sex, or that you actually enjoyed it? If any of those sound like you, then you're in the right place. I've created the Great Sex Podcast for people just like you who are in long term relationships, but want to improve your sex life with your partner. Who I am and why I started this podcast.I'm Dr. Heather England, the certified sex therapist and relationship expert who's excited to introduce you to the Great Sex Podcast. This podcast is your go-to source for candid discussions that tackle all your burning questions about love and sex. I don't just bring professional advice to the table; I also share my own ups and downs in relationships, aiming to empower you to ignite your own love and sex life. I've been through a journey—from growing up in upstate New York, serving in the military, and working in the corporate world—to become who I am today, an expert on love and sex. My podcast offers an intimate setting where you can feel comfortable discussing your own sexual experiences and questions. I know what it's like to go through romantic highs and lows, and I'm here to share insights to help you enhance your relationships. Whether you're feeling stuck in a relationship rut or looking to spice things up, the Great Sex Podcast is your guide to becoming a better sexual being.What I hope to accomplish with this podcast.I'm thrilled to guide you through the journey of achieving great sex and deeper love with this podcast. The focus here isn't just on sex, but on the crucial elements that make great sex possible in long-term relationships: deep, close, and trusting love. Let's cut through the noise and get to the information that no one talks about—answers to those questions you might be too embarrassed to ask. I aim to be as straightforward as possible, offering you actionable takeaways that you can easily implement into your love and sex life after each episode. The format? Short and sweet. Expect episodes to be around 15 to 20 minutes long, because let's face it, who has the attention span for marathon podcasts? Of course, when I bring in guests—which I plan to do in the next eight to 10 weeks—those episodes may run a bit longer. My son Cooper will also be joining me monthly to dive into listener questions, and I guarantee he's a hoot you won't want to miss! I'm learning alongside you, and I'm incredibly excited to be on this journey with you to unlock the secrets of great...