Money for Nothing — Chips for Free

Happy St. Paddy's Day you buncha crazy kids. We eat a couple good chips, talk about the history of ireland, and talk about all the fun stuff you can do to celebrate St. Patrick's Day. We also start prepping for next years Lepra-Con.

The harrowing conclusion to Pat's tale about the shark man is concluded. Also we unpack the upsetting cryogenic neural-net of frozen old racists, and answer a question about chips. Oh, then we become a Justin Bieber podcast.

It's OSKIE SEASON. Time to pivot again to become the first movie podcast, and we do a very good job at that. Roger names ten types of food he likes and we eat more expired chips. We talk about "Ah! Real monsters" and also eat trash like them cause expired chips.

Hey chipheads! We're back after a content sabbatical with a holiday episode! It is definitely a President's Day episode and not something else.

Sorry we've been gone, Pat's been buried in the newly released JFK files and found a few interesting coincidences that can't be ignored. An INCENDIARY revelation is revealed in this ep. Also we talk about our butts and how much they hurt after that Carolina reaper pepper chip from last month.

We did it this week. We finally got our hands on a pair of those Carolina Reaper chips, and it was an experience. Roger has an exchange with a mysterious new host, we dive into Pat's increasingly troubling bathroom issues, and the true mystery of the monster mash is revealed. All this and more, this week, on monkey butt loving, tips for me.

Roger went viral with a really important tweet and has been dealing with Rick and Morty fans for the last couple days, so we talk about that weirdness and brainstorm on how to monetize his newfound internet notoriety. We also eat a good wasabi chip we can't identify and a terra chip that Roger, ON RECORD, declares, has ruined fall. Then we answer an important video game question from a listener that eventually leads to us discussing the plumbing situation in the Mushroom Kingdom and Mario's dick. 'Cause we're children. That love dicks. Dick-loving children. #TOOLONGFORDONG #MARIOLETSSEETHATDONG

This week, Roger went to Canada and renounced his US citizenship. There's a lot of strings attached with becoming a red-blooded Canadian. We talk about kissing hockey players who are handsome, a new contest in which we steal your intellectual property, and we unpack the humpty dumpty myth. There's a listener question too. It's nice to talk again.

Hey! Happy fall everybody. There was definitely not a song of the summer this year, so Roger and Pat went and wrote one just in time for next year. It's going to be a real hit. This is a real surly episode in which Roger yells about hipsters and Pat learns about the song "Cake by the Ocean." Very illuminating.

The dog days of summer have kept us away from you, but we've returned. We answer a whole bevy of listener questions, discuss cannibal fantasies, slide into a parallel dimension where chips eat people. Also, Roger recounts the Boy Meets World episode that created the seminal BMW/Knightrider/Cars multiverse that we're all so familiar with today. SEO: Cannibals eating wieners, 4:20 is murdertime, So many truck nuts, Everything is a spinoff of die hard, #waronchristmas

WE. ARE. BACK. We've been gone, watching tons of summer BLOCKBUSTERS. We discuss all the hot properties coming out this summer and Air Bud. We also dive into the problematic nature of Andy Capp's existence and pitch a new film about a Medieval Vampire Hunter. SEO: ASMR, Star Wars Babies, Night Knight, Dads die, Wayne Knight on the casting couch, Uncle Ray's, Lay's, Andy Capp is a bad husband, James Murphy wrote on Seinfeld

Summer has hit! After NICEfriday the whole world has gotten warm and sweaty. We talk about radioactive chips as a superhero origin story, the new GONG SHOW starring not-Mike Myers, and Pat let's his colors shine since he's finally a native New Yorker after living in BK for five years. SEO: Oprah will be the first celebrity superhero, The Gong Show is the only show, What are the best pizza chips in the world?, Boss Baby 3: Governor LePage

God, we talk about too many movies this week, but we also eat some damn fine chips. Roger pitches a sexy new June holiday that's right around the corner, we discuss Woody Allen's version of "Drillbit Taylor," and try to get to the bottom of where souls are created in the world of Oscar-Winning film, "Sausage Party." #NICEfriday #didadoo #drillbittaylor SEO: Eddie griffin, Joe rogan, Sexy minions, NICEfriday, JOHNSVILLE FARMS Sausage Party Podcase, Drillbit Taylor in Paris, Woody Allen is Christopher Lloyd

This week we sit down with ad man, revolutionary war re-enactor, chip fan, and most importantly, friend, Rory Nolan to talk about what really grinds his gears. We touch on the off camera racism of the Star Wars universe, method acting and personal backstories in revolutionary war re-enacting, and we pitch on the next sequel in the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise. SEO: Yoda is a shitty grandpa, alcoholic founding fathers, Herr's, Jackson's Honest

The boys are back, and they're doing damage! Roger and Pat do all the accents they promised for the whole episode and they dish the dirt on Matthew McConaughey that he doesn't want you to know! Also, there's some pretty huge Roseanne spoilers in this ep, so if you haven't watched that TV show from 30 years ago, DO NOT listen to this until you finish.

Roger and pat speak their truths on internet anatomy truthers, the feasibility of spending $5000 in a week in Chicago, and how to change the accent of your internal monologue. Also, Pat proves he eats like a garbage disposal again, and they both lament the podcast's side effect of giving them too strong a chip tolerance.

Roger and Pat are ringing in one year together in their relationship. What awful timing too! With the upcoming writer's strike, the staff of the show has walked off this week leaving them with a partially written show. They make due and delve into alternate show formats, playing a new game show. And eat chips.

This week, we talk F8 of the Furryous. Also, we answer a listener question and try to figure out which side of history we'll be on in the future Alien civil rights movement.

We're not dead, despite the current state of the world. Rog and Pat discuss recent celebrity deaths that have affected them, bathroom eating habits and their positive/negative effects on the immune system in preparation for the upcoming post-apocalyptic nuclear wasteland, and future technology that makes it easier to 69 your partner. We also review another internet person's review of the Kettle Brand line of potato chips. Enjoy.

We have another segment in the CHiPs Watch saga, and we may have been tricked again. Also Roger has a beef with winter and we answer a listener question.

Friend, Artist, Lover Brian P. Smith shows up to talk about his upcoming art show in BK, we think about David Spade, and we all get super sexy with some potato chip slash fiction we found on the internet. Things get sticky and then we find a new frienemy on amazon.com.

Roger and Pat have a really Cheesy eppy-poo. They check in with the CHiPs movie in a new segment “CHiPsWaTCh,” and they answer a few important listener questions about the best chips for a bachelorette party and the most regrettable thing they’ve ever dipped in. Also, they realize how sexy Chester Cheetah can be.

Whoaaaa buddy! Ad Guru, Editor, JakeBen returns with a gift! We eat the bad idea that is Fail Chips, which turns out to be a Trojan horse brought to us by the hotshots over on Madison Avenue and we look like stupid rubes. In an attempt to salvage the ep and our egos, we eat a Scottish Chip and try to innovate for the innovators and discuss pooping in films. This episode is brought to you by MailChimp, hopefully.

Let's be serious, folks. Our numbers haven't been great. So we're TRENDHACKING this sonovagun. Roger snuck his way into the facebook offices (forreal) and took a bunch of chips on markie zuck's dime. So we ate four bags of chips that facebook employees enjoy everyday: Route 11 Lightly Salted, Daily Crave Veggie, Maya Kaimal Chickpea, and Lundberg Family Farm Rice Chips. After eating them, We're not sure if they really enjoy them. Also, Pat probably put himself on the terrorist watchlist this week.

Happy Valentines Day! We've decided to pivot from being a chip podcast to an advice podcast. People seem to really like those, so here's our bridge episode that has both chips and advice. Actress/Writer, Sarah Skeist, lends a female mind to answer important questions about feeding cats chips, the best pre-make out snack, and whether or not you should buy your significant other chips if they lack impulse control.

Woah, that sure was a hell of a super bowl, wasn't it? To break it all down we have out with friend and sports expert, Danial Jones, of the CHECK THE TAPE retro basketball podcast. We also break down about five different dips for you to enjoy at your next sporting party. Perhaps next year's Superbowl if we have one again?

From the highway patrol to the courtroom this week we talking CHIP LAW. Our friend and Lawyer, Omar Kazmi, joins us to discuss landmark cases in chip legislation. We talk about Korn, Mystery Men, and which celebrity we'd have sex with if we were trapped on the moon and running out of oxygen, and it's not who you'd expect. Tune in and Tune out.

Just the two of us, once again. If you’re in it for the chips, skip to minute 40, but if you’re in it for the CHiPs, start from the beginning! We break down the CHiPs trailer which is problematic at best. Not excited about how they portrayed our lives, but these are the compromises one makes to get a big budget, Hollywood film made.

This first one of the new year is a real rollercoaster. We talk with our friend and commercial video editor, Jake Benjamin, about advertising, editing, chips, and the crushing futility of existence. The Chips are good too!

Merry Holidays gang! We close out the year by continuing a holiday tradition with our good friend and artist Eric Benton (http://www.artofgutrot.com/). We watched the modern holiday classic "Jingle all the Way" and talked through it. Sync up with our viewing and join us, won't you?

We're back, baby! It's been a couple weeks but we've got a real scorcher for you. Filmmaker and co-creator of the new YouTubeRED horror show "12 Deadly Days," Chris Cullari joins us to talk about his show, nerd out about horror movies, and eat chips. Good talks and good chips were consumed by all. We'll be back next week, we promise!

It's a happy holidays episode from us to you. Roger remembers the time he was a hero once, and we talk about alternate timelines, Roger's fear of dolls, and Pat's fear of dying alone, as we all do. Then we take a walk into a new segment called "Pat's Kitchen," where Pat has prepared some homemade, Thanksgiving-themed chips.

Our friend, musician and general charmer, Beau Alessi, hangs out with us! We eat two great chips, run Beau through the ringer with a bit of gotcha journalism, and put a ton of shit ON BLAST. Beau also reads an important haiku he wrote.

This week we have Emily Panic back to celebrate ourselves and her new Pitchfork.TV show! We catch up on current events, talk about a modern comedy milestone, and eat a chip that is (mostly) only sold to prisoners! Then we eat some Uncle Ray classics and the gang read some of Uncle Ray's stories that didn't quite make it to the back of the bag....You'll see why.

Pat and Roger are joined by their good friend and witch expert, Emily Rodrigues, and get a little highbrow as she drops some knowledge about the Salem witch trials, life in the 1600's, and gives Pat a really upsettingly true tarot card reading. Also we eat a couple spooky-ass chips. Stay scared and happy halloween everybody!

Our good friend, Jeremy Huts, swings by to talk about chips with us. We learn about Pat's past night terrors, answer a really dumb listener question about CHiPS, and learn about a current, living nightmare native to Austin, TX: The tarantula hawk. We also eat chips. Join us, won't you?

Good Ep right here, gang. Lot of axes to grind in this one, as Roger takes on Guy Fieri, Pat takes on Kettle Brand, and they answer a listener question about wether or not they'd go back in time and kill baby hitler. Chips are also involved. You'll never guess...what happened next.

This is a meandering one guys. We talk about space, Mars, Elon Musk, and the new Ghostbusters movie. We also tear down Sunchips' social media and web presence and pitch ourselves as the new copywriters. If you’re here for chips reviews…it starts somewhere deep in the show. So….sorry.

Hollywood! Tinseltown! The land of broken dreams! Pat and Roger talk about their recent trips to the city of angels, and Pat goes full on Hollywood and does the master cleanse. Then Pat pitches Roger on a script he's been shopping about the invention of the potato chip. They read it with questionable accents. Roger has notes. At some point they do review a couple things.

A real toasty episode for you guys, right out of the oven. Roger and Pat serendipitously bring two bags of chips from beautiful Ireland! They respond to Pop Chips' overly cordial reply to their complaints on the pull tab on their bags, and the they really unpack the true nature of Slimer from the ghostbusters.

Woah buddy, here's a real long player for you. This week Pat and Roger talk Back 2 Skool! They offer stories about their childhood school times, offer some lackluster chip tips for all you matriculating students, find a new theme song, and talk about garfield for a long ass time. They also answer some much needed viewer mail: Is ranch dressing gross? You'll never guess what happened next...

A tenuous truce has been brokered between Pat and Roger and business has resumed as usual. They eat some chips and some not chips, paired with wine and cured meat, and Roger breaks out one of his famous impressions.

So Roger quit the show. I, Pat, am personally sorry the show has been gone for a couple weeks. I thought we both needed some cool-down time but I'm back! I recorded an ep while I was on vacation the past couple weeks. I hope you enjoy it. The show is going to be better than ever from now on.

Holy friggin' crap, this week Roger breaks down current events and Pat wears glasses and does a bunch of research about ketchup and then says it to Roger. Edutainment at its finest. Then we eat a bunch of ketchup chips and you'll never guess what happened next...

Hey gang. Roger and Pat finally saw "The Purge: Election Year," so this ep is the closest this show will ever be to being a "professional" movie review podcast. We also eat some beer flavored chips and some popcorn, because movies. Bunch of spoilers in this one, so don't listen if you think that'll ruin the movie for you. It won't though. Spoiler: This movie dumb.

Happy 4th of July Chipheads! In this ep, Pat and Roger offer a little party ambience to play at your cookout if it needs livening up, sing a bunch of patriotic songs, and share the story of the rags to riches tale of the man who invented the flaming hot cheeto! God bless this mess, everybody!

Roger and Pat are a little punch drunk in this ep and play it fast and loose. The boys discuss living in a virtual reality, hedge their bets for the singularity and the eventual robotic takeover, and answer some peculiar listener mail.

Pat's bummed out on humanity's place in the cosmos and Roger tries to cheer him up with chips. Are aliens out there? Is Earth just a giant nature preserve that they watch from afar? Or are we all alone and there's nothingness everywhere and life is meaningless? All these questions, plus an actual, real life question from a listener are answered, mostly.

This is a special episode. Pat and Roger talk almost exclusively about The Purge movie franchise because they love it so much. There's a long form make'em up story about the economic inequality facing America today, and we make some masturbation jokes. Chips are there.

EPISODE 6. A return to form, back to basics ep for us. It's just Roger and Pat eating chips, talking shop: the way it was meant to be. We discuss the goosebumps movie and Jack Black, answer some listener questions, eat japanese cheetos as a cereal and do way too much facebook live broadcasting. Sorry.

Happy Memorial Day, chipheads! Rog and Pat break every rule they've made so far by eating Cheetos of varying degrees of expiration and obscurity. Pat talks motivational techniques, and local Brooklyn phenom, Brian Patrick Smith, stops by with some Ranch flavored Bugles to add a smooth addition to the usual fare.