Relationship Fitness Podcast

Welcome to the Relationship Fitness Podcast! A big part of making a relationship great is learning how not to f*** it up. We all have to learn from our mistakes! I'm taking military leadership principles and applying them to relationship fitness. Join me to learn more!   Be a leader in your relationship Being a leader doesn't mean being the boss who is always in charge and makes all the rules. That kind of leadership won't work in relationships. The best relationships have co-leaders, where each partner is a leader. In the military, leadership is all about getting people to do what needs to be done; in a relationship, each partner has to exert leadership in their role for things to go smoothly.    Great leaders build up and encourage others to be leaders The most effective leadership is about creating a team of future leaders. If you want your team or partnership to work effectively, communication is the key. Each person has the way they like to communicate, and not every person responds well to authority and commands. In a relationship, you have to learn how to communicate in ways that your partner responds to and understands. You want your partner to be their own kind of leader in their role in the relationship.    There is no black and white when it comes to communication I know what it's like to have very different communication styles in marriage. My military background contributed to my communication style, and my partner didn't respond to it or completely understand it. If you're in this situation, you have to continue to learn and grow in order to relate to your partner and coexist in harmony. Understand that sometimes you are the leader, and sometimes you are the follower. A good relationship requires give and take in many of those gray areas. Always remember that a leader can be the coach AND the cheerleader. Never stop being the biggest cheerleader for your spouse! ***Leave me your feedback. I'd love to know how you are applying good leadership and communication in your relationship. Share the podcast with someone else who can use some Relationship Fitness. Your relationship fitness matters! You are not just raising children, but someone's future spouse and someone's future parent. Go out there and be loving, kind, patient, and generous! Let's help save the world--one relationship at a time!   Connect with me: Facebook: Relationship Fitness Facebook Page Instagram: Relationship.Fitness Locals.com: https://relationshipfitness.locals.com/ (Locals.com membership required) Podcast website: RelationshipFitnessPodcast.com

Welcome to the Relationship Fitness Podcast! Today's episode is about relationship tips that every couple can use. These tips may sound like common sense, but as I've heard many times, “Common sense is not always common practice.” Join me to learn more!   Don't take things for granted You can't rely on how things appear on the surface, but you have to dig deeper. This certainly applies to relationships. When it comes to making connections and maintaining closeness with your partner, you have to pay attention to the deep things. Just dealing with surface problems will only lead to divorce, alimony, child support, and a host of other undesirable situations that won't fulfill the dreams you have for your life.    Relationship tips every couple can use   Reintroduce meaningful communication into your relationship. The keyword there is meaningful. Be diligent about talking with each other, no matter how busy your lives are. Don't leave your communication on the surface level.    Don't become demanding in the way you speak to your spouse. It's important to still be NICE to each other. If you can't be nice, you are already on the slippery slope to divorce.    Be sincere about your love. Don't relax and take your love for granted. Be “on purpose” with your love for your partner.    Share hobbies together. You don't have to do EVERYTHING together, but there needs to be some activities, tasks, or fun things that you can both enjoy together.   Acknowledge freely. Continue to find reasons to acknowledge your spouse and say “thank you” every single day. The little things matter and they add up over time to build your true love connectedness.   Go to bed together. Different schedules may make this difficult, but it's important to unwind and disconnect from everything (and everyone) else together.  ***Leave me your feedback. Let me know how you are improving your connection with your spouse. Share the podcast with someone else who can use some Relationship Fitness. We can help others in their relationships. Your relationship fitness matters! You are not just raising children, but someone's future spouse and someone's future parent. Go out there and be loving, kind, patient, and generous! Let's help save the world--one relationship at a time!   Connect with me: Facebook: Relationship Fitness Facebook Page Instagram: Relationship.Fitness Locals.com: https://relationshipfitness.locals.com/ (Locals.com membership required) Podcast website: RelationshipFitnessPodcast.com Not sure where to start your Relationship Fitness journey? Begin with my FREE eBook: How To 10X Your Relationship In ONE Conversation Get my bestselling paperback book: 7 Secrets To An Extraordinary Relationship Your Parents Couldn't Teach You. P.S. Check out my new channel on Locals.com at Relationshipfitness.Locals.com where I'm posting exclusive #RelationshipFitness content you won't see or hear anywhere else. (Locals.com membership required)

Welcome to another episode of the Relationship Fitness Podcast! We all know that love and passion should be parts of every great relationship, right? My message today is that love and passion are not enough to make your relationship extraordinary. Love and passion are just emotions that we feel inside, and they can only affect your relationship if you take action on them. Join me for more!   It really is “all in your head” I remember a time in high school when there was a certain young lady who caught my eye. I thought she was the ideal dream girl for me, and I had so much passion and puppy love for her. The problem was that I could never tell her how I felt about her because I felt unworthy and feared taking that risk. In my mind, though, I was in love with her. The lesson applies to our adult relationships in that so much of our relationship happens only in our thoughts. All our perceptions, self-doubt, emotions, and limitations we feel are part of an internal dialogue that is constantly running in our minds.    Get out of your head It is not enough to have passion in your head and love in your heart for your spouse. Even the empathy, compassion, patience, and kindness we feel toward other people is not enough if it just stays in our heads. We have to show these feelings in our actions. We can tell someone that we love them every single day, but those are empty words if they aren't backed up by actions. We need to do the little things every day to show our partner that our love goes far beyond our words.    Make connections Whether it's with your parents, siblings, children, or your partner, you have to do the things it takes to make human connections. It could be as simple as reminiscing about good times in the past and reflecting on memories, and that's a great way to connect as long as we don't get hung up on the past at the expense of the present. Don't be content to let your relationship live in your head. Be proactive in your communication and connection. Show your partner every day that you love them and are living up to your vows and promises. ***Leave me your feedback. I want to hear how you are taking action to show your love and passion and how you wish your spouse would take action in showing love to you. Be a Relationship Warrior who fights hard for your marriage. Your relationship fitness matters! You are not just raising children, but someone's future spouse and someone's future parent. Go out there and be loving, kind, patient, and generous! Let's help save the world--one relationship at a time!   Connect with me: Facebook: Relationship Fitness Facebook Page Instagram: Relationship.Fitness Locals.com: https://relationshipfitness.locals.com/ (Locals.com membership required) Podcast website: RelationshipFitnessPodcast.com Not sure where to start your Relationship Fitness journey? Begin with my FREE eBook: How To 10X Your Relationship In ONE Conversation Get my bestselling paperback book: 7 Secrets To An Extraordinary Relationship Your Parents Couldn't Teach You. P.S. Check out my new channel on Locals.com at Relationshipfitness.Locals.com where I'm posting exclusive #RelationshipFitness content you won't see or hear anywhere else. (Locals.com membership required)    

Welcome to the Relationship Fitness Podcast! Boating and relationship advice—is there any correlation? I say there IS a correlation, and I'll explain what I mean. Join me for a closer look.   Check your attitude How are you working ON and IN your relationship? Are you spending too much time focusing on the past, either the good stuff or the bad? The “good old days” are happening right now, so look ahead. If you only look at the past, you can't see where you're going. It's like being in a boat. The boat leaves a wake in its path, and it can be beautiful and dangerous at the same time. Be careful of the wake you are making with the boat that is your marriage. If you focus on the wake the boat leaves behind, you'll miss the beauty and scenery in front of you. In your marriage, focus on each other as a team that's working to move forward together without wrecking “your boat.”   Live up to your commitment Think back to your wedding vows. Those were commitments you made to your spouse. Did you mean those words? We need to approach that commitment as a covenant promise that we would rather die than break. Too many marriages fail because one or both partners don't keep their promises; they cheat on each other and don't do their part to make the relationship work. You have to be committed to the extreme degree and “burn the boats” like the explorer Cortes did in 1519 to ensure that his men were “all in” on their mission. Are you “all in” on your relationship?   Take a close look Think about the behaviors and habits that you need to drop. Do you need to change the way you speak to your spouse? We all have to grow and learn throughout life in a constant process of refinement. Whatever drives a wedge between you and your spouse needs to be dropped. It could be too many nights of “hanging with the guys” or too many “girls' nights out” that contribute to your unhealthy relationship. Think of these things as your “boats” that need to be burned to show your commitment.   ***Leave me your feedback. Give me your feedback about putting these principles into practice. Be a Relationship Warrior who fights hard for your marriage. Your relationship fitness matters! You are not just raising children, but someone's future spouse and someone's future parent. Go out there and be loving, kind, patient, and generous! Let's help save the world--one relationship at a time!   Connect with me: Facebook: Relationship Fitness Facebook Page Instagram: Relationship.Fitness Locals.com: https://relationshipfitness.locals.com/ (Locals.com membership required) Podcast website: RelationshipFitnessPodcast.com Not sure where to start your Relationship Fitness journey? Begin with my FREE eBook: How To 10X Your Relationship In ONE Conversation Get my bestselling paperback book: 7 Secrets To An Extraordinary Relationship Your Parents Couldn't Teach You. P.S. Check out my new channel on Locals.com at Relationshipfitness.Locals.com where I'm posting exclusive #RelationshipFitness content you won't see or hear anywhere else. (Locals.com membership required)

​​Welcome to this episode! We all want to bring out the best in our partners, but how do we know if that is truly happening? We have to ASK! The key is to ask the right questions that prompt the right conversations. Let's take a closer look!   What to ask Ask your partner, “In what ways do I help you be your best or do your best work?” They may need time to think before they answer, so don't be offended if they don't have a ready answer. Another twist on those questions is to ask how you help them be their best IN and ON your relationship together. Whether they have an answer or not, you at least have the stage set for open conversations about how you listen, support, and validate each other.   Put away your ego When you ask these probing questions, you have to be prepared for what your partner might bring up. There may be some negative things about you if your partner is honest. Put your ego to the side and be willing to take an objective look at what you can do to listen more, support further, and genuinely validate your partner's feelings. Ask clarifying questions to find out how you can do better. Study your partner to notice the things he/she adds to your life. Compliment them on what you see them doing well and how they work to preserve and strengthen your relationship. It will be a work in progress to figure out together how you can bring out the best in each other.   Know what NOT to do Sometimes the key to improving your relationship fitness is something you STOP doing. Casey and Meygan Caston are the founders of Marriage365; you can find them on Instagram. Their book, 365 Connecting Questions for Couples, has one question for couples to answer together each day throughout the year. Find a link to their book under Tools & Resources at Relationship Fitness Podcast. One of their questions is, “Have I ever done anything to make you feel that you can't share your thoughts, struggles, and ideas with me?” Ask this question and show your vulnerability to find out what you have done to make your spouse feel this way. To put it bluntly, one way to bring out the best in your spouse is to STOP DOING STUPID STUFF! Don't do the things that make them feel that they can't share and be open with you. The way to bridge that gap is communication, communication, communication. Relationship fitness is always a learning process, so keep on learning about each other.  ***Leave me your feedback. Let me know how you are asking the important questions and communicating to bring out the best in your partner. Your relationship fitness matters! You are not just raising children, but someone's future spouse and someone's future parent. Go out there and be loving, kind, patient, and generous! Let's help save the world--one relationship at a time!   Mentioned in this episode:  365 Connecting Questions for Couples by Casey and Meygan Caston. Find Marriage365 on Instagram.  Connect with me: Facebook: Relationship Fitness Facebook Page Instagram: Relationship.Fitness Locals.com: https://relationshipfitness.locals.com/ (Locals.com membership required) Podcast website: RelationshipFitnessPodcast.com Not sure where to start your Relationship Fitness journey? Begin with my FREE eBook: How To 10X Your Relationship In ONE Conversation Get my bestselling paperback book: 7 Secrets To An Extraordinary Relationship Your Parents Couldn't Teach You. P.S. Check out my new channel on Locals.com at Relationshipfitness.Locals.com where I'm posting exclusive #RelationshipFitness content you won't see or hear anywhere else. (Locals.com membership required)  

Welcome to the Relationship Fitness Podcast! Think about the triggers you have, the baggage you have carried into your relationship, and the buttons you are daring someone to push. Living in a constant state of pre-explosion is not fun, and walking on eggshells around you is not fun for your loved ones. I am going out on a limb today to say that there are no buttons. Join me for more!   There are no buttons (if you decide there are no buttons) It's completely up to you! There are always those things that make us mad when people do them, but there is no reason for us to have those triggers. In this day and age, most of us don't live in a constant state of fear for our lives. Our lives are not endangered, and we don't know what it is like to be hunted down and eaten. Just like those kinds of life-or-death fears that are nonexistent, your buttons are only there because you have decided they are there. You can just as easily choose for them not to exist. If you allow someone else to completely control your emotions and responses, then you are admitting your total lack of control, which is not good.    Take extreme ownership of your buttons I have become much less triggered over my lifetime, and I have realized that most of the things that trigger emotional responses come out of my childhood. For me, those feelings show up when I am tired, having a bad day, or not practicing self-care like I should. You can't assume that your partner knows what your buttons are and thinks about how to avoid pushing them. News flash! Your partner is NOT constantly thinking about your buttons, and if they are, it isn't a healthy relationship anyway. Despite our buttons and triggers, why can't we just assume the best of the other person? Like maybe they forgot about or don't even realize our sensitivities?    Watch your communication style You can train your brain to respond differently in certain situations, and you can create new routines in your communication patterns with your partner. Because you and your partner were raised in two different families with two different backgrounds, sarcasm and harsh jokes may seem normal to you, but they might poke at your partner's insecurities and sensitivities. Hot buttons for you may be totally acceptable for your partner. It takes doing the work of discovery to get to know and understand your partner. Realize that the story going on in your head about “why they did what they did” may not be 100% true. For the sake of your relationship fitness, you may have to tone down your communication habits to keep a peaceful, loving relationship.     ***Leave me your feedback. I would love to hear how you are letting go of those buttons and improving your communication style for the health of your relationship. Your relationship fitness matters! You are not just raising children, but someone's future spouse and someone's future parent. Go out there and be loving, kind, patient, and generous! Let's help save the world--one relationship at a time! Connect with me: Facebook: Relationship Fitness Facebook Page Instagram: Relationship.Fitness Locals.com: https://relationshipfitness.locals.com/ (Locals.com membership required) Podcast website: RelationshipFitnessPodcast.com Not sure where to start your Relationship Fitness journey? Begin with my FREE eBook: How To 10X Your Relationship In ONE Conversation Get my bestselling paperback book: 7 Secrets To An Extraordinary Relationship Your Parents Couldn't Teach You. P.S. Check out my new channel on Locals.com at Relationshipfitness.Locals.com where I'm posting exclusive #RelationshipFitness content you won't see or hear anywhere else. (Locals.com membership required)

  I have been perusing through one of my all-time favorite books, Jack Canfield's The Success Principles: How to Get from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be. As I read the book, I am always looking to apply success principles to relationships, which brings us to today's topic. How are you taking ownership in your relationship? Do you need to take more ownership? Let's talk about it.    Take personal responsibility Jim Rohn talks a lot about our circumstances and the excuses we make. The bottom line is that we can't control the circumstances and seasons of life, but we can change ourselves. We have to take personal responsibility for the quality of life that we live. No one else is to blame. This applies immensely to our relationship. I'll say this, “If your relationship sucks, the problem is YOU.” You can't change the other person, but you can be the person you want to be. Everything in your life comes down to the person you are and the choices you make. There is no one else to blame.    We can create, re-create, and uncreate We can change ourselves to achieve the success we want to have. Just as situations have been created by our choices, they can be re-created or uncreated to give different results. It just takes one person to make the changes to save a relationship, and it usually happens that the other partner will gladly join the effort. Commitment to change takes consistency, and when both partners are on board, profound changes can take place. Think about this: “What would your relationship look like if you gave it your ALL?”   Give up your excuses and “stories” What happened in the past is in the past. We make our own conclusions about what happened and why. Those are our “stories,” and we spin them the way we do, mostly because of how we were raised. We convince ourselves about why someone did what they did, or what their underlying motive was, or why they can't be trusted. We have the power to change the situation to produce the result we want by letting go of all the excuses and changing the stories we tell ourselves. Would you rather be right or happy? How could you have communicated more clearly and been more deliberate? YOU have the power to change your relationship!  ***Leave me your feedback. Let me know how you are taking personal responsibility, letting go of excuses, and changing the story of your relationship. Your relationship fitness matters! You are not just raising children, but someone's future spouse and someone's future parent. Go out there and be loving, kind, patient, and generous! Let's help save the world--one relationship at a time! Connect with me: Facebook: Relationship Fitness Facebook Page Instagram: Relationship.Fitness Locals.com: https://relationshipfitness.locals.com/ (Locals.com membership required) Podcast website: RelationshipFitnessPodcast.com Not sure where to start your Relationship Fitness journey? Begin with my FREE eBook: How To 10X Your Relationship In ONE Conversation Get my bestselling paperback book: 7 Secrets To An Extraordinary Relationship Your Parents Couldn't Teach You. P.S. Check out my new channel on Locals.com at Relationshipfitness.Locals.com where I'm posting exclusive #RelationshipFitness content you won't see or hear anywhere else. (Locals.com membership required)    

Welcome! Have you ever fought with your spouse when you were hangry? Let's face it- some people can get pretty grouchy when they need something to eat. So if you have something important to discuss and you feel irritable, it is best to wait until you get some food in your system before you dive into the conversation.  After a hard day at work When you get home after a hard day at work, and your spouse immediately starts unloading their day on you it can be hard to avoid overreacting. It would be better to spend the first ten to twenty minutes after you walk in chilling out, connecting, and only talking about the good stuff. That will give you the chance to breathe and unwind before discussing anything important. I sometimes do the Tarzan yodel while driving home. It makes me feel much better and helps relieve the stress, pressure, and frustration I am feeling. You can do a couple of Tarzan yodels while driving home or park down the street and do it to decompress before you get home. You could even consider going to the gym on the way home. Whatever you do, make sure that you don't fight or discuss difficult and important topics when you are hangry, frustrated, or in an agitated state. It is all about the outcome you want Try to reach a point in your relationship where you can be vulnerable and still feel connected. Be cool if your partner or spouse needs some time out after a terrible day. If you also had a tough day, giggle and understand that you are both on edge. You can talk later after you have collected yourselves. Give yourself time to think about OWA before you talk: What is the outcome you are seeking? What is the why you want to talk about it? What action will you take to get the outcome you want? It is all about the outcome you want. Don't approach things with an attacking mode your desired outcome is to vent. Just talk about it and express how you feel.  Go in with the long term in mind Go into a relationship with a long-term mindset. If you do, it will foster compassion, patience, and understanding. We all mess up at times. So those qualities will allow for some failure in your relationship and give you room to breathe. A long-term mindset and the desire to do what it takes to make your relationship last longer will release you from making excuses to bail out or thinking that you will leave if your partner hurts you or screws up.    ***Leave me your feedback. Let me know how you are learning to put aside how you feel, use the 5-second rule, and take action on the things that improve your relationship fitness. You are not just raising children, but someone's future spouse and someone's future parent. Go out there and be loving, kind, patient, and generous! Let's help save the world--one relationship at a time! Connect with me: Facebook: Relationship Fitness Facebook Page Instagram: Relationship.Fitness Locals.com: https://relationshipfitness.locals.com/ (Locals.com membership required) Podcast website: RelationshipFitnessPodcast.com   Not sure where to start your Relationship Fitness journey? Begin with my FREE eBook: How To 10X Your Relationship In ONE Conversation Get my bestselling paperback book: 7 Secrets To An Extraordinary Relationship Your Parents Couldn't Teach You. P.S. Check out my new channel on Locals.com at Relationshipfitness.Locals.com where I'm posting exclusive #RelationshipFitness content you won't see or hear anywhere else. (Locals.com membership required)  

Welcome! Let's be honest. We all have those days when we don't feel like going the extra mile, aiming for a deeper connection, and putting forth the effort to improve our relationship. It's in those times when we have to make a choice and commitment to force ourselves to do what we don't FEEL like doing. I'm taking a few concepts from Mel Robbins' book, The 5 Second Rule, to make applications to relationships. Join me!   Think back to your childhood If you are like me, you can think of many incidents during your growing-up years when your parents had to make you do things that you didn't want to do—and they were for your benefit. Coming in for dinner, brushing your teeth, taking baths/showers, and other tasks were not what kids normally choose to do, but we had to do those things for our own good. Likewise, in relationships, we can't operate solely on what we feel like doing; we are not always going to feel like doing the right thing! Sometimes you have to FORCE your way into doing what you need to do!   How to use The 5 Second Rule When those times occur that you don't feel like doing what you know you should do, you have to break those thought patterns in your brain and take action. Mel teaches people to count backward, 5-4-3-2-1, take action, break the thought pattern, and fight the tendency to procrastinate. Listen to my example of using the 5 second rule when my brain goes against the impulse to get flowers for my love. The right thing to do is to stop and buy the flowers, even when I don't feel like it! When the thought comes of what you can do to improve your connection or make your spouse feel loved and appreciated, either act on it with the five-second rule or write it down so you can come back to it later—and take action.    Learn to focus and take action Whenever and wherever you have your best ideas, make it a habit to write them down. My best ideas come often when I'm in the shower, so I've learned to write them down quickly as soon as I get out. If I don't focus on those ideas, they are gone forever, and I'll never take action on them. There are so many gestures that we can do to connect with our partner and show our love; we don't always FEEL like doing those things. It's OK to force ourselves to do those things. We can use the 5 second rule or any other tool that helps us take action and override those feelings. Great relationships don't just happen; they happen because we learn to take action.  ***Leave me your feedback. Let me know how you are learning to put aside how you feel, use the 5 second rule, and take action on the things that improve your relationship fitness. You are not just raising children, but someone's future spouse and someone's future parent. Go out there and be loving, kind, patient, and generous! Let's help save the world--one relationship at a time! Connect with me: Facebook: Relationship Fitness Facebook Page Instagram: Relationship.Fitness Locals.com: https://relationshipfitness.locals.com/ (Locals.com membership required) Podcast website: RelationshipFitnessPodcast.com Not sure where to start your Relationship Fitness journey? Begin with my FREE eBook: How To 10X Your Relationship In ONE Conversation Get my bestselling paperback book "7 Secrets To An Extraordinary Relationship Your Parent Couldn't Teach You" here. P.S. Check out my new channel on Locals.com at Relationshipfitness.Locals.com where I'm posting exclusive #RelationshipFitness content you won't see or hear anywhere else. (Locals.com membership required)      

Welcome to the podcast! A special guest is joining me for today's show, and I'm excited about our conversation. From her experience and wisdom, she is sharing relationship secrets to take your relationship to the next level today. Join us to learn more!   Laura Doyle is a relationship expert, podcaster, and the NY Times bestselling author of The Empowered Wife. She was the perfect wife until she actually got married. When she told her husband how to be tidier, more romantic, and more ambitious, he avoided her. She dragged him to marriage counseling and nearly divorced him. In desperation, she asked happily married women their secrets, and that's when she got her miracle. The man who wooed her returned. Now, Laura's books have been translated into 19 languages in 30 countries and have accidentally started a worldwide movement around her mission to end divorce around the world. She is the founder of the international relationship coach training school, Laura Doyle Connect, the star of Empowered Wives on Amazon Prime, the creator of The Ridiculously Happy Wife Program, the host of The Empowered Wife podcast, and she has appeared on the Today Show, Good Morning America, and The View. Laura has helped over 15,000 women fix their relationships, even the hopeless ones, without their husband's effort. The thing that Laura is most proud of is her gratifying 31-year marriage with her hilarious husband, John, who has been dressing himself since before she was born.    Show Highlights:   How Laura found out soon after marriage that she was NOT the perfect wife How marriage counseling helped her see that divorce was her only option—until things changed Why Laura began a support group for other wives, and it blossomed into a bestselling book and a worldwide movement How Laura, at first, followed the failed recipe for marriage that she saw in her parents How our early training in marriage and relationships in our family of origin shapes us Why parents need to be intentional about setting good examples in relationships for their kids How Laura had to realize the importance for husbands to be respected and now teaches wives to meet that need Common mistakes that women make in trying to regain intimacy: being too helpful, complaining rather than expressing their desires, and not prioritizing their own happiness Why you can't rely on your spouse for your happiness How changing up your language with “cheat phrases” can improve your relationship How wives can get their husbands to help out more by expressing gratefulness The one question a wife should never ask her husband The FREE aphrodisiac that works with husbands EVERY TIME ***Leave me your feedback. Let me know what you think about Laura's relationship insights. Improving your relationship fitness and solidifying your relationship legacy WILL make a difference. You are not just raising children, but someone's future spouse and someone's future parent. Go out there and be loving, kind, patient, and generous! Let's help save the world--one relationship at a time!   Resources:   Connect with Laura: www.lauradoyle.org Get Laura's FREE Adored Wife Roadmap!  Find her podcast, The Empowered Wife! Laura's book: The Empowered Wife   Connect with me: Facebook: Relationship Fitness Facebook Page Instagram: Relationship.Fitness Locals.com: https://relationshipfitness.locals.com/ (Locals.com membership required) Podcast website: RelationshipFitnessPodcast.com Not sure where to start your Relationship Fitness journey? Begin with my FREE eBook: How To 10X Your Relationship In ONE Conversation Get my bestselling paperback book: 7 Secrets To An Extraordinary Relationship Your Parents Couldn't Teach You. P.S. Check out my new channel on Locals.com at Relationshipfitness.Locals.com where I'm posting exclusive #RelationshipFitness content you won't see or hear anywhere else. (Locals.com membership required)  

Welcome! Today's show topic comes from something I heard in a motivational YouTube video. Eric Thomas says, “You have to sacrifice who you ARE for who you will BECOME.” Let's talk about how this concept applies to your relationship.   Are you focusing on what WAS? Some people can't stop looking back at “the old days” in their relationship. You know, those good old days when things were better for one reason or another. The truth is that memories don't make today great. Living and working in the NOW in your relationship is the most important thing you can do. Give up what your relationship was in the past for what it will be in the future. Live in the NOW.   Are you working? There is nothing more important in your relationship than doing the work. Work is a big umbrella that covers many things, especially when the honeymoon phase wears off and those feel-good chemicals are no longer ruling your brain. You can't wait until problems arise to start working on your relationship connection. Your actions show what is most important to you, so take a look and evaluate whether you are putting in the work to prioritize your relationship. If video games, social media, friends, or hobbies are getting all of your time, your relationship is NOT getting the work.    Where are you spending your time? Many studies have gone into the psychology of why we spend so much time on our phones and devices rather than in face-to-face connections with others. When we allow all these distractions to dominate our lives, we are left with very little time and energy to interact with our spouse. You have to put in the work and fight for your relationship! When we use the excuse that having a relationship is “too hard,” we are really saying that we aren't willing to put in the work. This is where relationship fitness comes into play. Take action and work on your relationship skills. Don't get lazy!  *What things do you need to give up to make your relationship important?  *Are you reading books about developing relationship skills and improving yourself? ***Leave me your feedback. Let me know how you are letting go of the past and living in the NOW to build your relationship for the future. Improving your relationship fitness and solidifying your relationship legacy WILL make a difference. You are not just raising children, but someone's future spouse and someone's future parent. Go out there and be loving, kind, patient, and generous! Let's help save the world--one relationship at a time!   Connect with me: Facebook: Relationship Fitness Facebook Page Instagram: Relationship.Fitness Locals.com: https://relationshipfitness.locals.com/ (Locals.com membership required) Podcast website: RelationshipFitnessPodcast.com Not sure where to start your Relationship Fitness journey? Begin with my FREE eBook: How To 10X Your Relationship In ONE Conversation Get my bestselling paperback book: 7 Secrets To An Extraordinary Relationship Your Parents Couldn't Teach You. P.S. Check out my new channel on Locals.com at Relationshipfitness.Locals.com where I'm posting exclusive #RelationshipFitness content you won't see or hear anywhere else. (Locals.com membership required)  

Thanks for joining me! Everyone comes to the point at which they need some “me time” in a committed relationship, and it can be a sticky topic to approach with your partner. Let's talk about the best ways to handle it without causing harm to your relationship.   Choose well Make sure the partner you choose has the emotional IQ to understand when either of you needs some “me time” or time to get away with old friends. A healthy relationship allows for both of you to maintain friendships while prioritizing your partner above all else. Having some time away from your partner can actually be a good thing for your relationship if it's done the right way. Time away for a sports activity with the guys or girls' night with the besties can increase the anticipation of wanting to be with the one you love. Of course, I'm talking about outings that don't cross the boundaries of your commitment to your partner.   Keep communication lines open Have an atmosphere of vulnerability in communication with your spouse about your “me time.” Don't cross those lines or keep secrets that make them wonder what your intentions are. Realize that the bulk of your time should be spent with your family–not your best buds. If you feel the balance swaying the other way, then it's up to you to make corrections and prioritize your spouse and kids.    Have a relationship “of a certain age” I'm not referring to chronological age, but to the emotional stability of your relationship–and it might take a while to get there. You have to know that your relationship is secure enough that you can spend time apart from each other without endangering your intimacy and connection. You both have to know that you can trust each other to make good choices that honor your relationship; that kind of trust is cultivated as you continue to build your relationship skills. It's not enough to have a head knowledge of those skills, but you have to put them into practice in genuine, sincere ways. Having a balance in your life of “me time,” couple time, and family time can help take your relationship to the next level. ***Leave me your feedback. Let me know how you and your spouse are handling “me time” or ways in which you might need to do better. Improving your relationship fitness and solidifying your relationship legacy WILL make a difference. You are not just raising children, but someone's future spouse and someone's future parent. Go out there and be loving, kind, patient, and generous! Let's help save the world--one relationship at a time!   Connect with me: Facebook: Relationship Fitness Facebook Page Instagram: Relationship.Fitness Locals.com: https://relationshipfitness.locals.com/ (Locals.com membership required) Podcast website: RelationshipFitnessPodcast.com Not sure where to start your Relationship Fitness journey? Begin with my FREE eBook: How To 10X Your Relationship In ONE Conversation Get my bestselling paperback book "7 Secrets To An Extraordinary Relationship Your Parent Couldn't Teach You" here. P.S. Check out my new channel on Locals.com at Relationshipfitness.Locals.com where I'm posting exclusive #RelationshipFitness content you won't see or hear anywhere else. (Locals.com membership required)    

Welcome to another great discussion on Realtionship Fitness! Have you ever said something that seemed normal and appropriate, only to find out later that the other person was offended? Please say that you have been there like I have! These hot spots can destroy relationships if they aren't handled with intentionality. Let's discuss how to diffuse the situation.   We need to get out of our head Many times, we let the dialogue in our head convince us that we should be offended and take action over what someone said. Our ego can be our worst enemy! Another common scenario (more so for men than women) is when we find ourselves “in trouble” with our partner over something we said, and we aren't even aware that it was offensive! The problem in both kinds of situations is that humans are meaning-making machines, and we make up our own meaning to what the other person said or did. This meaning we assign to another's words and actions comes from the way we grew up. How do we overcome this problem? Communication is the answer! I f you are offended by someone . . . First, go cool off before your knee-jerk reaction gets you in trouble. Secondly, look at the problem from the other person's perspective. Did they 100% intend to offend you? Are you sure? When we assume what the other person meant, we let the voices in our head control us, and the sad part is that we find it easier to erupt toward family members than other people in our lives. Our goal shouldn't be to punish the other person but to have an intimate connection in a happy, healthy relationship. We can't achieve that if we always ASS-ume that the other person means harm. Quite often, I find that what I thought the other person intended is not correct at all, and that's how I've learned to take a different approach. That is growth.   Assume the best of people If you grew up with a power play, ego, and blame dynamic in your family, then you know how exhausting it can be. Who wants that dynamic in their intimate relationship? When you are in love, assume the best of your spouse. Bad days happen for everyone, so give them a break and assume the best of their intentions. This guards against the slippery slope of dissatisfaction and seeking a sympathetic ear from someone who can destroy your marriage. Communicate and confront the issue as you assume the best of your partner. Admit that you assumed the worst and took something the wrong way; chances are that the problem will be resolved peacefully. Show humility, sincerity, and love—and you'll have a much better outcome.  ***Leave me your feedback. Comment about how you are working toward open, vulnerable communication and guarding against assumptions in your relationship. Improving your relationship fitness and solidifying your relationship legacy WILL make a difference. You are not just raising children, but someone's future spouse and someone's future parent. Go out there and be loving, kind, patient, and generous! Let's help save the world--one relationship at a time!   Connect with me: Facebook Instagram Locals.com Podcast website:RelationshipFitnessPodcast.com Not sure where to start your Relationship Fitness journey? 1. Begin with my FREE eBook: How To 10X Your Relationship In ONE Conversation 2. Get my bestselling paperback book "7 Secrets To An Extraordinary Relationship Your Parent Couldn't Teach You" here. P.S. Check out my new channel on Locals.com at Relationshipfitness.Locals.com where I'm posting exclusive #RelationshipFitness content you won't see or hear anywhere else. (Locals.com membership required)

Welcome to the Relationship Fitness Podcast! I just learned something new, and as every good podcaster should do, I'm passing it along to you. We are talking about how you can use your relationship history to foster positivity in the here and now. Join me!   Reflect on the good It's so easy and trite to dwell in the past and bellyache about things that have not gone right. The truth is that dwelling on the past won't usually serve you well, but it will get you stuck in a bad place. When it comes to your relationship, it can be helpful to reflect on the good times you shared when your relationship was new and vibrant. What drew you to this person in the first place? Why were you both attracted to each other? Why did you commit to a long-term relationship? Remembering the fun times you have shared and the things you have overcome will help renew that spark from the beginning.   Set aside time to reflect on your relationship history One of the problems in most relationships is that we get too busy to reflect and recall those fun times we have shared. I read an article that recommended couples set aside time each month to remember the good times, like the birth of a child, their wedding, and the way the attraction started in the beginning. This time of reflection can reinforce the energy and positive feelings in your relationship, reignite the chemistry, and ward off the negativity that tries to creep in.    Keep your relationship as #1 One of the biggest killers in relationships is not scheduling time to be friends. We have to prioritize obligations outside our family so they don't interfere with #1, which is the relationship with our partner. That #1 relationship is the main thing that contributes to joy, happiness, and success in life, so don't put it on the back burner. Praying for blessings for your spouse can help promote positivity, well-being, and growth in your relationship. Wishing good things for your partner brings a good vibe and sends out positive energy into the world.   ***Leave me your feedback. I would love to hear how you and your spouse reflect on your good times and keep the spark alive in your relationship. Improving your relationship fitness and solidifying your relationship legacy WILL make a difference. You are not just raising children, but someone's future spouse and someone's future parent. Go out there and be loving, kind, patient, and generous! Let's help save the world--one relationship at a time!   Connect with me: Facebook: Relationship Fitness Facebook Page Instagram: Relationship.Fitness Locals.com: https://relationshipfitness.locals.com/ (Locals.com membership required) Podcast website: RelationshipFitnessPodcast.com   Not sure where to start your Relationship Fitness journey? Begin with my FREE eBook: How To 10X Your Relationship In ONE Conversation Get my bestselling paperback book "7 Secrets To An Extraordinary Relationship Your Parent Couldn't Teach You" here. P.S. Check out my new channel on Locals.com at Relationshipfitness.Locals.com where I'm posting exclusive #RelationshipFitness content you won't see or hear anywhere else. (Locals.com membership required)

With a commitment to a partner, you have to be prepared for a relationship with in-laws. In some cases, they may seem more like out-laws, but it doesn't have to be that way. There are always challenges that come surrounding how to celebrate holidays, how to raise kids, and other hot-button topics like religion and politics. Let's take a closer look in this first of a two-part series about considerations for your relationships with in-laws.   Realize what you can appreciate You may not like your spouse's parents, which could consist these days of several couples since parents and stepparents are factored into the mix. They all have different opinions,  methodologies, and traditions that can affect your marriage and how you raise your kids. Instead of focusing on the negative, try to find things that you can appreciate about them and their concern for your family. For one, they helped bring your “person” into the world, so express your appreciation. Try to understand the apprehension they have as parents when their child chooses a partner and forms a long-term relationship. All they want is to see their child loved, happy, and successful in all areas of life. Try to see the situation from their perspective.    Acknowledge that there will be differences Every parent has their viewpoint about raising children, and your in-laws probably didn't do things exactly like your parents did or the way you might choose for your family. Those differences don't mean that only one person's way is right. Try to gain perspective and understanding of their viewpoint and their desire to see the best for their children and grandchildren.    Assume the positive Sometimes in-laws will come across as controlling or too involved when they want to help out, be included, and offer advice. Don't shut them out. Try to assume that their intentions are good (crazy, toxic people excluded) and for your benefit until proven otherwise. Getting to know your in-laws can help you better learn how to support your partner as you understand their family dynamics. If you try to assume the best of their intentions instead of defaulting to the negative, the overall relationship will be more constructive and peaceful for everyone.  ***Leave me your feedback. Let me know about your success with in-law relationships and the ways you plan to face the challenges moving forward. Improving your relationship fitness and solidifying your relationship legacy WILL make a difference. You are not just raising children, but someone's future spouse and someone's future parent. Go out there and be loving, kind, patient, and generous! Let's help save the world--one relationship at a time!   Connect with me: Facebook: Relationship Fitness Facebook Page Instagram: Relationship.Fitness Locals.com: https://relationshipfitness.locals.com/ (Locals.com membership required) Podcast website: RelationshipFitnessPodcast.com Not sure where to start your Relationship Fitness journey? Begin with my FREE eBook: How To 10X Your Relationship In ONE Conversation Get my bestselling paperback book "7 Secrets To An Extraordinary Relationship Your Parent Couldn't Teach You" here. P.S. Check out my new channel on Locals.com at Relationshipfitness.Locals.com where I'm posting exclusive #RelationshipFitness content you won't see or hear anywhere else. (Locals.com membership required)  

Welcome to the Relationship Fitness Podcast! Today's show focuses on the all-important domino effect of our thoughts, words, habits, character, and destiny. Join me as we explore how a simple mindset shift can change the way those “dominoes” fall!   Be conscious of your mindset Most of what we think and feel about our relationships is in our heads, but we can't keep our thoughts there; we have to engage in communication with our partner. Find your voice! Improve how you think about your spouse, your kids, and your family. I've seen so many people in the trap of “competitive victimhood,” where they compete to see who has the worst spouse and who is the biggest victim of everything awful in life. What a terrible mindset! What makes the difference? What separates couples with great relationships from “the herd”? So many men and women are trapped in that victimhood competition, and they only think and talk about how awful their lives and relationships are. Change your thoughts! If your group of friends lives in a victimhood mentality, then find new friends! If you aren't actively engaged in controlling your thoughts, words, habits, and behaviors, then you are like a person in a canoe without a paddle. You have no choice but to drift along with the current, oblivious to the dangers around you and helpless to save yourself. Be aware of how you think and speak about your relationship, engage with your spouse, and always look to make improvements. Don't be a relationship zombie! Being part of the herd of competitive victimhood or being the person who drifts along in their relationship with no effort to improve is like being a zombie. You know, like the ones in TV shows. Don't take your relationship for granted. Don't be a lazy ass in your relationship. Take the time and make the effort to communicate with your spouse and change your mindset. Get up and get working to change your mindset and your actions! ***Leave me your feedback. I want to know how you are working on your relationship and changing your mindset, especially if you are a recovering “competitive victim.” Improving your relationship fitness and solidifying your relationship legacy WILL make a difference. You are not just raising children, but someone's future spouse and someone's future parent. Go out there and be loving, kind, patient, and generous! Let's help save the world--one relationship at a time!   Connect with me: Facebook: Relationship Fitness Facebook Page Instagram: Relationship.Fitness Locals.com: https://relationshipfitness.locals.com/ (Locals.com membership required) Podcast website: RelationshipFitnessPodcast.com   Not sure where to start your Relationship Fitness journey?   Begin with my FREE eBook: How To 10X Your Relationship In ONE Conversation Get my bestselling paperback book "7 Secrets To An Extraordinary Relationship Your Parent Couldn't Teach You" here. P.S. Check out my new channel on Locals.com at Relationshipfitness.Locals.com where I'm posting exclusive #RelationshipFitness content you won't see or hear anywhere else. (Locals.com membership required)

Are you a high achiever who is constantly striving to be better? If so, then you probably know the feeling of beating yourself up because your best doesn't seem good enough. Let's talk about how this drive can translate into your relationships–and what you can do about it.   Watch out! The feeling of always striving for more but never living up to your own high standards of perfection can translate into your relationship and parenting style. Believe me, I have been there. On Father's Day this year, I turned the tables on my sons and wrote letters to them, letting them know that I'm aware of my failures as a parent. No one is born knowing how to be a good parent, but you have to acquire parenting skills along the way. As a high achiever, it takes a while to realize that you are bringing that same drive to your personal relationships–and messing them up. There are feelings of guilt when you look at the failures and shortcomings, and you can focus on those to the point that you don't remember all the good times and successes. There is nothing wrong with having high goals and driving toward excellence, but we have to accept that we fail as a spouse and a parent–and we have to move forward.   Communicate! Be willing to communicate with your spouse and kids when you know you have messed up. Mistakes happen, and there is no such thing as a perfect parent. Apologize for the times you lost your temper, were too tough on your kids, or acted like a dick to your family. Most parents are just trying to do the best they can with the skills they have, and every parent has to learn along the way.    Write the legacy letter If your kids are teens or young adults, take the time to write them each a letter. Apologize. Let them know that you were learning along the way and doing the best you could do. Bring it out into the open. Let them know that you are proud of them and support them as they grow up. This open communication can open doors for conversations and break down walls of bitterness and resentment. This one small gesture can transform your relationship with your kids and help you move forward. Another good idea is to write a journal for your child about your thoughts and fears as they were born and grew through important life milestones. Take the time to share your parenting challenges and relationship lessons learned. These are ways to solidify your relationship legacy!   ***Leave me your feedback. I would love to hear how you are growing in your relationship with your spouse and children. Let me know how you keep communication lines open to admit your failures and if you've written a legacy letter. Improving your relationship fitness and solidifying your relationship legacy WILL make a difference. You are not just raising children, but someone's future spouse and someone's future parent. Go out there and be loving, kind, patient, and generous! Let's help save the world--one relationship at a time!   Connect with me: Facebook: Relationship Fitness Facebook Page Instagram: Relationship.Fitness Locals.com: https://relationshipfitness.locals.com/ (Locals.com membership required) Podcast website: RelationshipFitnessPodcast.com   Mentioned in today's episode: The Day That Turns Your Life Around by Jim Rohn The Richest Man in Babylon by George Samuel Clason The Five Second Rule by Mel Robbins Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill   Not sure where to start your Relationship Fitness journey? Begin with my FREE eBook: How To 10X Your Relationship In ONE Conversation Get my bestselling paperback book "7 Secrets To An Extraordinary Relationship Your Parent Couldn't Teach You" here. P.S. Check out my new channel on Locals.com at Relationshipfitness.Locals.com where I'm posting exclusive #RelationshipFitness content you won't see or hear anywhere else. (Locals.com membership required)

Welcome to the Relationship Fitness Podcast! I have noticed from several directions how much time some people (primarily men) spend with video games. They play them, talk about them, and build community with fellow players online. What if they put the same effort into building their relationship? Hobbies are a good way to relax and find enjoyment, but how much is too much? Where do these hobbies fit into strong, healthy relationships? Let's talk about it.    Hobbies can be bad news for your relationship Some men admit that they look forward to getting home and spending several hours playing video games. When this becomes a habitual way to avoid and neglect meaningful interaction with your spouse, your relationship is headed for trouble. Other couples try to connect more with each other by “trying out” their partner's hobbies, and even if they don't like the hobby, they at least gain an understanding of their partner's attraction to it while spending time together. Everyone should be aware of the addictive nature of video games, which is planned and engineered intentionally by the designers. Check yourself. Is your relationship in its death stages because your hobbies are more important than your partner?   The sad reality and the ugly truth It is sad that a husband and wife can be in the same house–and even the same room–but be totally engrossed in their own hobbies that are separate from each other. He may be playing video games while she reads a book or does something on her phone. They are “together,” but there is no engagement or connection going on to build their true-love connection. If this disconnect happens over and over again, night after night, it can lead to division and dissatisfaction in the marriage. As the division and dissatisfaction grow, the door opens to the dangerous wolves and cougars out there who seek to draw our attention away from our spouse. How much better would it be to involve yourselves in a joint project or find ways to engage WITH your spouse to strengthen your relationship?   How to improve your relationship Of the many things that can come into our lives to take our attention away from our spouse, video games and cellphones are two examples. We allow them to grab and keep our attention–to the detriment of our relationship. Whether at home or a restaurant, we need to put games and phones aside so we don't continually weaken our connection with our spouse. There are many ways we can pay attention to our spouse and engage with our loved ones. Make your spouse and kids the winners in getting your attention and keeping it.    ***Leave me your feedback. Let me know how you are strengthening your relationship by keeping hobbies and interests in the right perspective and finding hobbies that you can BOTH enjoy. Don't let anything take precedence over your relationship with your partner. Improving your relationship fitness and solidifying your relationship legacy WILL make a difference. You are not just raising children, but someone's future spouse and someone's future parent. Go out there and be loving, kind, patient, and generous! Let's help save the world--one relationship at a time!   Connect with me: Facebook: Relationship Fitness Facebook Page Instagram: Relationship.Fitness Locals.com: https://relationshipfitness.locals.com/ (Locals.com membership required) Podcast website: RelationshipFitnessPodcast.com   Not sure where to start your Relationship Fitness journey? Begin with my FREE eBook: How To 10X Your Relationship In ONE Conversation Get my bestselling paperback book "7 Secrets To An Extraordinary Relationship Your Parent Couldn't Teach You" here. P.S. Check out my new channel on Locals.com at Relationshipfitness.Locals.com where I'm posting exclusive #RelationshipFitness content you won't see or hear anywhere else. (Locals.com membership required) https://amzn.to/2KMaPY0

Welcome to the Relationship Fitness Podcast! I heard something recently that made me realize how The Matrix and relationship fitness are related. It has to do with the irony of how someone can “push our buttons,” which can only happen if we've already established the buttons. What buttons have you created? Join me for a closer look!   It all comes down to our choices. There aren't really any “buttons.” They don't exist. When we say someone is “pushing our buttons,” we focus on scenarios that give us excuses to react dramatically to what someone else says or does. There are no stresses or pressure points except what we have created in our heads. We decide--we CHOOSE--to be irritated, frustrated, triggered, and stressed by this or that. We have determined what that breaking point is for our temper to flare.    We are “meaning-making” machines. We make meaning out of everything. When someone does x, we have determined that it means y. When our partner doesn't act like we would wish, we assign meaning to it in that they don't respect, love, or trust me. The other person may not tie that same meaning at all to their actions, and they probably don't intend to send the message that we receive. It doesn't matter because we assume that we know precisely in which way they meant to offend us--all because we've assigned a specific meaning to it.    Investigate your buttons. Take a closer look at why certain things are sensitive subjects that bring frustration and irritation. Most of those sensitive spots stem from events in our childhood. How we perceive our partner's words, actions, and intentions come from what we allow ourselves to “buy into.” What we observed in relationships or the pain we experienced in childhood causes us to feel a certain way. This leads us to compare ourselves, deciding who is “better,” as we judge the other person's actions. All of this highlights the need for clear verbal communication with your spouse. Those pressure points, sensitive spots, and buttons need to get out of your head and into a conversation!   ***Leave me your feedback. Let me know how you are strengthening your relationship by eliminating the pressure points that cause your temper to flare. Watch out for the meaning you assign to your partner's actions, and take the time to have clear communication. Improving your relationship fitness and solidifying your relationship legacy WILL make a difference. You are not just raising children, but someone's future spouse and someone's future parent. Go out there and be loving, kind, patient, and generous! Let's help save the world--one relationship at a time!   Connect with me: Facebook: Relationship Fitness Facebook Page Instagram: Relationship.Fitness Locals.com: https://relationshipfitness.locals.com/ (Locals.com membership required) Podcast website: RelationshipFitnessPodcast.com   Not sure where to start your Relationship Fitness journey? Begin with my FREE eBook: How To 10X Your Relationship In ONE Conversation Get my bestselling paperback book "7 Secrets To An Extraordinary Relationship Your Parent Couldn't Teach You" here. P.S. Check out my new channel on Locals.com at Relationshipfitness.Locals.com where I'm posting exclusive #RelationshipFitness content you won't see or hear anywhere else. (Locals.com membership required)

Welcome to the Relationship Fitness Podcast! We are talking about taking your relationship to the next level, and we know there is always room for improvement. Specifically, how does it profit you to win all the arguments but lose your spouse in the process? Join me to learn more!   It all comes down to ego For the sake of our relationships, we have to set aside our pride and ego and learn to tame our drive always to conquer and win. This can be a challenging thing for most of us men. We have to keep the right perspective that the health of our relationship is more important than being “right.” Remember that your kids are watching and learning, so keep the long-range goal in mind. Set a good example in the way you handle arguments and disagreements.    Look out for blind spots In our relationships, we all have habits and mannerisms that we do without thinking; they are just automatic. For example, I was ingrained not to ask for anything above absolute necessities as a child because I wouldn't get them anyway. I caught myself in this blind spot when parenting my boys when they were young and asked for something extravagant. Their reactions told me that I had responded in a hurtful way simply because of how I was raised. I'm asking you to take notice of your words and tone when conversing with your kids and spouse. You can gauge by their reaction to you how you are coming across.   Pay attention Take notice of how your loved ones react to what you say and how you say it. If their reaction is negative, nervous, or one of withdrawal, then you may have a blind spot that needs to be addressed and changed. Look at it as an opportunity to improve and learn not to cause hurt to the hearts of those you love. Observe their reactions, and don't be afraid to ask for feedback on how you are doing.    ***Leave me your feedback. Let me know how you are finding and improving your blind spots to benefit your relationship. Ask your family how you are falling short in fostering the environment you want in your home. It's a great thing if your kids watch you work out disagreements because it helps them learn positive relationship skills. Improving your relationship fitness and solidifying your relationship legacy WILL make a difference. You are not just raising children, but someone's future spouse and someone's future parent. Go out there and be loving, kind, patient, and generous! Let's help save the world--one relationship at a time!   Connect with me: Facebook: Relationship Fitness Facebook Page Instagram: Relationship.Fitness Locals.com: https://relationshipfitness.locals.com/ (Locals.com membership required) Podcast website: RelationshipFitnessPodcast.com   Not sure where to start your Relationship Fitness journey? Begin with my FREE eBook: How To 10X Your Relationship In ONE Conversation Get my bestselling paperback book "7 Secrets To An Extraordinary Relationship Your Parent Couldn't Teach You" here. P.S. Check out my new channel on Locals.com at Relationshipfitness.Locals.com where I'm posting exclusive #RelationshipFitness content you won't see or hear anywhere else. (Locals.com membership required)    

Welcome to the Relationship Fitness Podcast! Have you heard of the seven-year itch? It happens in most relationships, and it may not come at the seven-year mark. The kicker is that it's totally normal for relationships to grow, change, and make transitions. Let's take a closer look!   Reassess your needs Science has shown that the “honeymoon phase” in relationships usually lasts from six months to two years. At that point, you come down “out of the clouds,” and obligations with jobs, kids, and bills can be overwhelming. The pressures of life impact the relationship, and you can lose perspective on what's most important. That is when it's time to reassess your needs, both in life and in your relationship. Relationships form in the first place to meet the mutual needs of both partners. When we feel more fulfilled and comfortable that those needs are met, a faux emptiness can set in as things seem to level off. When you feel that “itch,” whether six months or a couple of years into the relationship, It's time to take a look, reassess, and identify the new needs that can bring back the spark!    Embrace the change and take action Having new needs is not a bad thing! It's a sign that growth is taking place. Try this exercise: sit down with your spouse and write down three new needs that each partner has. Discuss ways to meet those needs, in whatever area of life they may be--and yes, they can be sexual needs or needs in any other area of life. Think about instituting a yearly reassessment discussion to stay connected to each other.    Change happens People grow and evolve, and relationships grow and evolve. Instead of viewing changing needs as a bad thing, look at them as signs of growth and development. Figure out where your relationship is headed now and how the transition should happen. Remember, there's nothing wrong with your relationship if your “seven-year itch” comes much sooner than you expect. Reassessing is good because it allows you to connect and realign with your partner. Identify the new needs and march on in the path of your relationship! ***Leave me your feedback. Let me know how your relationship hit the “seven-year-itch” and how you are reassessing each other's needs. It's a great thing if your kids watch you work things out because it helps them learn positive relationship skills. Improving your relationship fitness and solidifying your relationship legacy WILL make a difference. You are not just raising children, but someone's future spouse and someone's future parent. Go out there and be loving, kind, patient, and generous! Let's help save the world--one relationship at a time!   Connect with me: Facebook: Relationship Fitness Facebook Page Instagram: Relationship.Fitness Locals.com: https://relationshipfitness.locals.com/ (Locals.com membership required) Podcast website: RelationshipFitnessPodcast.com   Not sure where to start your Relationship Fitness journey? Begin with my FREE eBook: How To 10X Your Relationship In ONE Conversation Get my bestselling paperback book "7 Secrets To An Extraordinary Relationship Your Parent Couldn't Teach You" here. P.S. Check out my new channel on Locals.com at Relationshipfitness.Locals.com where I'm posting exclusive #RelationshipFitness content you won't see or hear anywhere else. (Locals.com membership required) https://creatingunstoppablerelationships.com/register-today

Welcome to another episode of the Relationship Fitness Podcast! It's a fact that thoughts lead to actions--which lead to results. These results lead to a payoff, which leads back to our thoughts or our story. Our story is the WHY of what we do. Join me as we take a deeper look!   “If you want to meet the Devil . . .” “ . . . Just do nothing.” I heard someone say this recently, and I realized the implications for relationships. Just doing nothing in your relationship and in your life will lead to drama and discomfort. “Devil” here is not used in a religious sense, but in the sense of big-time angst, trouble, and heartache. It's a symbol of all the negative things that can come your way. Doing nothing in your relationship opens the door to the wolves and cougars. If you listen to them, you're listening to BS that came about because you did nothing in your relationship.    There is a payoff to everything we do We get a payoff to everything, and it can be negative or positive. This is why we DO things, and DON'T DO certain things. We realize, in relationships, that we attract more good things to us with honey than with vinegar. That's why we do some things--because there is a beneficial payoff for us. I heard a woman recently tell of her husband (whom she despises) who disengages with his family for the sake of his video games. He does that because he finds that fantasy world less scary than being a family man and engaging as a leader in his family. How sad is it that he has chosen the payoff that gaming gives him over the connection with his family! There is always a WHY to what we do, and others (like his wife and kids) pay the price in negative ways. Think about it. Why are you doing the things that you do?   Be the man that you are Some men become a different version of the man their wife married. He may have been vibrant, spontaneous, and exciting in their early relationship, but now he is the lion in the cage that's been tamed and controlled always to acquiesce. Men need to be the men they are and take a stand to be the man they were that attracted your spouse. There is always room for change and growth without losing the man you are. “Don't acquiesce to being a puss.” Self-preservation is important to self-growth, and men need to grow together WITH their spouse. Know your WHY and know your payoffs, and things will go better in your relationship.

Welcome to the Relationship Fitness Podcast! My purpose in every episode is to help you learn one nugget that can take your relationship to the next level of awesome. Let's talk about what lemons and relationships have in common.   What's on the inside comes out We are all faced with stressful situations and competing priorities. Marriage, family, and parenting bring pressure every single day. Jobs, money issues, and raising kids bring pressure from all directions. You know it's true! Here is the truth: what comes out of a lemon when it's squeezed is what is on the inside--lemon juice. Likewise, when your relationship is under pressure, what comes out is the character, abilities, and skillset you have on the inside.    Acting and reacting As we grow up, we learn how to deal with stress by watching the grownups in our lives. If we don't have good role models, then we don't understand and experience good relationship skills. Our intentions may be the very best, but we sometimes react in negative ways. How we act is our character, and how we react is the brainwashing from our childhood, whether good or bad.    Take a look, and take a step back Start by looking at how you react under the pressure of daily stress. How are these typical reactions working for you? Are your reactions to stress bringing positivity, love, and connection, or are they driving your family apart? If every moment of every evening in your family is spent avoiding communication and togetherness, then you need to make changes. Follow the OWA principle: ask, “What is the outcome that I truly want? What is my WHY? What action can I take to get to the outcome I want?” When you are being squeezed, take five seconds to look inward and ask if you are about to drive a wedge between people. If so, take a step back and aim for connection. Take a time out, and be sure to give your partner the time to step back if they need it.    ***Leave me your feedback. Think about your character and what you are displaying in your relationship, and let me know how you are working toward “awesome” with your partner. Improving your relationship fitness and solidifying your relationship legacy WILL make a difference. You are not just raising children, but someone's future spouse and someone's future parent. Go out there and be loving, kind, patient, and generous! Let's help save the world--one relationship at a time!   Connect with me: Facebook: Relationship Fitness Facebook Page Instagram: Relationship.Fitness Locals.com: https://relationshipfitness.locals.com/ (Locals.com membership required) Podcast website: RelationshipFitnessPodcast.com   Not sure where to start your Relationship Fitness journey? Begin with my FREE eBook: How To 10X Your Relationship In ONE Conversation Get my bestselling paperback book "7 Secrets To An Extraordinary Relationship Your Parent Couldn't Teach You" here. P.S. Check out my new channel on Locals.com at Relationshipfitness.Locals.com where I'm posting exclusive #RelationshipFitness content you won't see or hear anywhere else. (Locals.com membership required)

Welcome to the Relationship Fitness Podcast! As always, we are discussing tips to take your relationship to the next level. Are you settling for “OK” or “Fine” in your relationship? Why not take action to leave a relationship legacy instead of becoming just another failed relationship statistic? Let's talk about how your relationship is trending today!   You ARE leaving a legacy If your family has a record of dysfunction in relationships, you are either continuing that dysfunction or choosing to do the opposite of the family trend. It's difficult for some people to grow up and choose something different because for most it's a “monkey see, monkey do” situation. Most people do what their parents did, and when it comes to relationship dysfunction, that's NOT a good thing.    Some people don't know how to do better In my case, I had said I would never, ever put my kids through a divorce situation like I went through at nine years old---but I did. I was on the receiving end of the hurt and pain that come with divorce when I was a kid, and I was helpless to keep from putting my kids through the same thing. I continued the relationship legacy I had seen modeled for me, even though I didn't want to. I didn't know how to do better. I didn't take action. I got complacent and did nothing, and my relationship became another statistic.    How to tell if your relationship is trending toward being a statistic or a legacy If sex becomes less frequent because of mood swings, stress, and time, then your relationship is suffering. You have to make your relationship a priority! The scales of relationship equity will never be in your favor if you aren't intentional! Are you having fewer meaningful conversations about sharing dreams and goals? Are your conversations mere “status updates” about the bills and the kids? If your arguments are escalating, then it's possible that someone else can become the shoulder to cry on and the ear to vent to for you or your spouse. That's a dangerous situation. The first day that your attitude is, “I've already got him/her, so I don't have to work at it,” is the beginning of the death of your relationship. Recognize the warning signs. Look for the yellow flags before they become red flags. Take action; be brave enough to talk to your spouse. Be involved and engaged in your relationship. ***Leave me your feedback. I want to know how you are working toward a relationship legacy instead of becoming another statistic. Improving your relationship fitness and solidifying your relationship legacy WILL make a difference. Let's help save the world--one relationship at a time!   Connect with me: Facebook: Relationship Fitness Facebook Page Instagram: Relationship.Fitness Locals.com: https://relationshipfitness.locals.com/ (Locals.com membership required) Podcast website: RelationshipFitnessPodcast.com   Not sure where to start your Relationship Fitness journey? Begin with my FREE eBook: How To 10X Your Relationship In ONE Conversation Get my bestselling paperback book "7 Secrets To An Extraordinary Relationship Your Parent Couldn't Teach You" here. P.S. Check out my new channel on Locals.com at Relationshipfitness.Locals.com where I'm posting exclusive #RelationshipFitness content you won't see or hear anywhere else. (Locals.com membership required)

Welcome to the show! What's your answer when someone asks how you and your spouse are doing? Do you reply that it's OK? Are you tempted to say, “Not too bad”? Are you saying it's just partially bad? Why isn't your relationship awesome? Let's dive into it together!   Words have power The words you say have power. They are energy and vibration. Speaking certain things aloud puts that energy force out into the world. When you say specific words about your relationship, you are expressing the internal dialogue that is in your mind. Be careful not to use what I call repetitious “victim speak,” which phrases every comment to make you the struggling victim who is trying to get by. That person wants and usually gets sympathy from others. Do you really want people around you to have sympathy for you? Think about the words you speak!   Change it around In every situation, we have a choice in how we respond and what we say. We can let autopilot rule the day and spout off in “victim speak” or in other defeated patterns. Your automatic responses will display the negativity in your head. Do you really want to say negative things about your spouse, your relationship, and your life? Why not change up the dialogue in your mind and the words that you say? You are the only one who can make the change.   Make it better If your relationship and life are bad, why aren't you doing what it takes to make them better? Isn't it just being lazy if you know what to do to improve but choose not to do it? In relationships, we need to break out of the cycle of negative thoughts and responses. That negative attitude leaves you open to other opportunities that might “seem” better at the time, which is a very dangerous place to be. Wouldn't you rather your automatic response be that your relationship is awesome? Do what it takes to be awesome!   ***Leave me your feedback. Tell me how you are doing your part to improve your relationship and spread positive energy and words into the world; we don't need more negativity because there is already enough of that. Improving your relationship fitness and solidifying your relationship legacy WILL make a difference. Let's help save the world--one relationship at a time!   Connect with me: Facebook: Relationship Fitness Facebook Page Instagram: Relationship.Fitness Locals.com: https://relationshipfitness.locals.com/ (Locals.com membership required) Podcast website: RelationshipFitnessPodcast.com Not sure where to start your Relationship Fitness journey? Begin with my FREE eBook: How To 10X Your Relationship In ONE Conversation Get my bestselling paperback book "7 Secrets To An Extraordinary Relationship Your Parent Couldn't Teach You" here. P.S. Check out my new channel on Locals.com at Relationshipfitness.Locals.com where I'm posting exclusive #RelationshipFitness content you won't see or hear anywhere else. (Locals.com membership required)  

Welcome to the Relationship Fitness Podcast! We should always want to improve in all areas of life, and no one ever becomes a master at relationships. There is always so much more to learn! If you've never thought about “10x-ing” your relationship, maybe it's time to take a closer look at how we can improve. Join me as we jump into this topic!   Reflection and Learning Improving yourself in any area of life requires goals that can be measured and reflected upon. One effective way to reflect in life is having a journal, which is a habit of many successful people. Writing in a journal, especially in cursive, is an impactful activity for the brain. You can write about your successes, lessons, goals, worries, intentions, and more. Journaling is a great exercise for the mind and soul. Reflection also comes as a result of what we read, and we should always want to read and learn more about human psychology and relationships. Your journal should be the place for healthy reflection and thoughts about what you read and learn.    Meditation and Prayer No matter what your religious preferences are, your spirit and soul need work also. However you acknowledge God, we are all connected in the universe by an energy force. Using tools like meditation and prayer can help calm your spirit and center your focus. Going within yourself with meditation and participating in prayer as a two-way conversation with God can help bring more self-reflection.   Feedback Show bravery and vulnerability by asking for feedback from your spouse and children. It is important to “check your ego at the door” and go into the feedback process with humility. If you continuously seek feedback and reflect on the feedback you receive, you can 10x your life, productivity, and relationships across the board. Be willing to hear from others how you can improve. Ask for specifics in your spouse's feedback about how you are doing in bed, daily habits, showing love, and giving attention. Even though it may be difficult to hear, be vulnerable and willing to listen. The goal is growth and increased happiness in your life, along with a great connection in your relationship. It can be helpful to have a coach or mentor who can also give you feedback. When you know where you are messing up and falling short, then you can correct the course.    ***Leave me your feedback. I want to know what you are doing to 10x your relationship and show love, patience, kindness, and generosity through your life. Improving your relationship fitness and solidifying your relationship legacy WILL make a difference. Let's help save the world--one relationship at a time!   Connect with me: Facebook: Relationship Fitness Facebook Page Instagram: Relationship.Fitness Locals.com: https://relationshipfitness.locals.com/ (Locals.com membership required) Podcast website: RelationshipFitnessPodcast.com   Not sure where to start your Relationship Fitness journey? Begin with my FREE eBook: How To 10X Your Relationship In ONE Conversation Get my bestselling paperback book "7 Secrets To An Extraordinary Relationship Your Parent Couldn't Teach You" here. P.S. Check out my new channel on Locals.com at Relationshipfitness.Locals.com where I'm posting exclusive #RelationshipFitness content you won't see or hear anywhere else. (Locals.com membership required)

Welcome to the Relationship Fitness Podcast! I hope you're here because you care about the state of your relationship and want to make it the best that it can be! Let's talk today about two things that will kill most relationships--and how you can avoid these pitfalls. We'll cover the lesser of the two first--and then hit the biggie. Join me to learn more!   #2 Relationship Killer: Fears that run rampant in your mind Most of your relationship occurs in your mind; therefore, the things that thwart your relationship success are in your mind. We have fears that run rampant in our minds and make us hesitant to approach our partner about issues, concerns, and possible improvements. That little voice we hear tells us that we can't be open and honest, and we have a fear of loss. We are afraid that what we want to suggest or the problem we need to address will end up cutting something out of our lives. Don't listen to the fears! Cultivate a relationship that's honest and open with communication.   Why the little things matter--especially in what you say On the flip side of our fears in approaching our spouse is the fact that the little things we say and do REALLY DO MATTER.  You need to avoid knee-jerk reactions to what your spouse may suggest. It could be a new restaurant, a different activity, or a discussion about a sensitive topic, but the key is to be open. Ask questions, and avoid the quick comment or facial expression that says a lot without saying a lot. Don't let your responses make your spouse feel afraid to give their input and share in vulnerable ways. Show them that you value their partnership and take care of all areas in your true-love relationship.    #1 Relationship Killer: Being unable to control your state of mind Let's face it--we often blame our reactions and responses on the other person. The truth is that we are simply refusing to take responsibility for our actions. Some people constantly blame the other person for pushing them to react, especially in relationships, but we don't have to lash out in ways that show a lack of control in our physical and emotional state. If you focus on the negative, then you'll be drawn to the negative. You choose in your mind how to react to the things going on around you, so choose happiness for your state of mind. Being loving, kind, patient, and generous should be the goal for our state of mind every single day.    ***Leave me your feedback. I want to know how you are working to avoid these relationship killers and keep open and honest communication with your partner. Improving your relationship fitness and solidifying your relationship legacy WILL make a difference. Let's help save the world--one relationship at a time!   Connect with me: Facebook: Relationship Fitness Facebook Page Instagram: Relationship.Fitness Locals.com: https://relationshipfitness.locals.com/ (Locals.com membership required) Podcast website: RelationshipFitnessPodcast.com   Not sure where to start your Relationship Fitness journey? Begin with my FREE eBook: How To 10X Your Relationship In ONE Conversation Get my bestselling paperback book "7 Secrets To An Extraordinary Relationship Your Parent Couldn't Teach You" here. P.S. Check out my new channel on Locals.com at Relationshipfitness.Locals.com where I'm posting exclusive #RelationshipFitness content you won't see or hear anywhere else. (Locals.com membership required)  

Welcome to the Relationship Fitness Podcast! One way to keep our relationship great over a lifetime is to understand the physical aspect of looking attractive for your spouse. It's not something just for dating couples! Join us to learn more! Why it's important to still “look good” Your appearance includes the different aspects of your physical body, how you dress, and how you portray yourself. Married people should still want to be attractive to their mate, and it's sometimes difficult to get back on track if you've let yourself go. Beware that it's always a touchy subject when you set off on a fitness journey and want your spouse to join in, so be careful how you approach that topic. The goal is to live and enjoy long lives together and to be around for your kids and grandkids without burdening their lives. The same fitness plans don't work for everyone, but there are many resources to help you figure out what fitness routines and eating plans are right for your body type, so find what works for you.  Why you should eat better When you eat better, you'll feel better. When you feel better, your mood and energy levels are improved. You'll be better prepared mentally when challenges come, and you'll be able to endure times of difficulty--and we all know that those pop in and out of our lives. Not eating right or exercising regularly can greatly affect your sleep patterns, mood, anxiety, and all aspects of life. Eat better to live better! Why a better mindset makes a better relationship Knowing that you and your partner are committed to looking good and living well improves your overall mindset. This can spill over into the bedroom and improve your sex life together--and who doesn't want that? Getting married shouldn't be the end of our efforts to look physically attractive for our spouse, but it should remain a priority. Don't dress like a lazy slob around the house! Your partner deserves better, and you don't want them to have an excuse to look elsewhere for physical attraction. Commit yourself to looking good and keeping the spark alive! ***Leave me your feedback. I want to know how you are working to look good for your mate and living a healthy life with a healthy mindset. Improving your relationship fitness and solidifying your relationship legacy WILL make a difference. Let's help save the world--one relationship at a time!   Connect with me: Facebook: Relationship Fitness Facebook Page Instagram: Relationship.Fitness Locals.com: https://relationshipfitness.locals.com/ (Locals.com membership required) Podcast website: RelationshipFitnessPodcast.com  

Welcome to the Relationship Fitness Podcast! You need foundational skillsets for a great relationship, and many of those revolve around how you communicate with each other. Let's take a look at tips around communication! Foster an environment that promotes trust Your relationship needs to be a place where you and your spouse can communicate freely without fear of ridicule or explosion. How do you get there? It takes care, kindness, empathy, presence, understanding, and true listening. It's important to give each other time to speak and share each day. Your partner should trust that you are “all in” and that you both are encouraged to talk, share, and vent about each day. The real test is how you react when the tough topics come up. Can you handle them with the same care and understanding? Don't expect your partner to heal you It sounds crazy, but even though your partner may match up with the energy you put out in times of crisis, they are not the long-term answer for the healing you need from past hurts. They may help you grow through challenges, but then things may change. Don't expect them always to have the solution. You have to continue to heal yourself and keep the lines of communication open to voice how things are changing--in a place of no fear. Remember, your sharing environment should promote trust. When the hard topics come up, you've already created the environment for sharing and talking about them openly.  Separate facts from feelings When discussing those sensitive topics with each other, separate the facts from the feelings. Don't let hurt and wounds from the past cloud the situation over. Focus on the facts about how you can both work to bring change, and don't let the same issues continue to be problem spots in the future. Focusing on the facts helps diffuse the feelings of fear.  ***Leave me your feedback. I want to hear how you are working to create an environment of trust and sharing in your relationship. Improving your relationship fitness and solidifying your relationship legacy WILL make a difference. Let's help save the world--one relationship at a time! Connect with me: Facebook: Relationship Fitness Facebook Page Instagram: Relationship.Fitness Locals.com: https://relationshipfitness.locals.com/ (Locals.com membership required) Podcast website: RelationshipFitnessPodcast.com Not sure where to start your Relationship Fitness journey? Begin with my FREE eBook: How To 10X Your Relationship In ONE Conversation Get my bestselling paperback book "7 Secrets To An Extraordinary Relationship Your Parent Couldn't Teach You" here. P.S. Check out my new channel on Locals.com at Relationshipfitness.Locals.com where I'm posting exclusive #RelationshipFitness content you won't see or hear anywhere else. (Locals.com membership required)

Welcome to the Relationship Fitness Podcast! We can learn new tips and tricks as we listen to other people's mistakes and successes. There are many, many relationship resources out there, but how do you know who has good advice? Let's talk about it! Your relationship situation is not unique We often try to convince ourselves that no one understands us or that no one else has the same struggles that we do. The truth is that people say those things as an excuse to give up and do nothing more to find solutions. If you think you've “tried everything,” what that really means is that you haven't found the right resource yet. There is always someone who has faced the same struggle in their relationship--and figured it out. Who to listen to There is much to be learned from the successes and mistakes of others. One of the best resources for relationship advice is hearing the stories from couples who have had a thriving relationship over many decades. Go to an elderly community and find couples who are walking around holding hands or enjoying an occasional smooch on a park bench. They have the answers to how a relationship survives the ups and downs of life while retaining its connection. Most older couples would love to share their experiences and thoughts with a younger couple looking for advice. Other helpful resources include books, articles, seminars, courses, lectures, and blogs by proven relationship experts. Google has millions of resources for improving date night, communication, intimacy, and more. It's easy to find something relevant to your situation if you aren't too lazy to do the work and take action to fix what's broken. Who NOT to listen to Don't listen to those who always complain about their spouse and their life. They are usually miserable, and they want to share that misery with others. They will not help your relationship! Don't listen to the single person who “has all the answers” about relationships but has never succeeded at relationship fitness. There may even be someone in your family who has had a bad relationship and is full of advice, but they are not the voice you need to hear. Stay away from those who are not FOR your relationship and those whose advice doesn't strengthen your relationship. ***Leave me your feedback. I want to hear how you are learning more and strengthening your true-love connection. Improving your relationship fitness and solidifying your relationship legacy WILL make a difference. Let's help save the world--one relationship at a time! Connect with me: Facebook: Relationship Fitness Facebook Page Instagram: Relationship.Fitness Locals.com: https://relationshipfitness.locals.com/ (Locals.com membership required) Podcast website: RelationshipFitnessPodcast.com Find Alexis Meads' blog: www.goodmenproject.com 10 Secrets for Success and Inner Peace by Wayne W. Dyer Not sure where to start your Relationship Fitness journey? 1. Begin with my FREE eBook: How To 10X Your Relationship In ONE Conversation 2. Get my bestselling paperback book "7 Secrets To An Extraordinary Relationship Your Parent Couldn't Teach You" here. P.S. Check out my new channel on Locals.com at Relationshipfitness.Locals.com where I'm posting exclusive #RelationshipFitness content you won't see or hear anywhere else. (Locals.com membership required) P.S.S. Check us out on Spotify!  

Welcome to the Relationship Fitness Podcast! Do you ever feel like you just don't have enough time for your relationship? So many times, we are overwhelmed with too many obligations and responsibilities! If you're at that point, it's time to learn the important skill of saying NO. It's one sure way to take your relationship to the next level of happiness and connectedness. Let's talk about it! Determine the Relative Weight of Importance and Duration of Any Activity Brendon Burchard teaches the RWID principle of priorities. When asked to attend, help, participate, and take on something new, you have to ask yourself how important that task is to yourself, your kids, and your family. If it takes time away from building the core strength of your relationship-connectedness sphere, then the thing you're being asked to do will be in competition with your relationship. If the benefit and payoff of that thing aren't very significant, it's something to which you need to say NO. It's a difficult thing to do if you're new at it, but it gets easier over time, and you have the satisfaction of knowing that your relationship isn't suffering because you are pulled in too many directions. Don't be afraid to say NO to family members Obviously, we have to keep some family commitments to maintain those relationships, but they can't take priority over our primary relationships. Some familial commitments lead to negativity and drama, so those need to be let go as you wean yourself from them. Often, people can't understand your level of commitment, but that's OK. You have to teach others that you have certain things prioritized and won't be limitlessly available at their every whim. They will continue to reach out to you for “saving” until you say NO. That will force them to find someone else. Don't let extended family interfere with your true love connectedness with your soulmate, your family, and yourself. Don't overlook the “D”! The D in Burchard's RWID principle stands for duration. Keep in mind that activities that involve too much time will draw your time and attention away from other commitments that are more important. Continuing to build and solidify the most important relationship with your spouse means that your available time for other commitments is limited. The single biggest factor in your happiness in life is your relationship to your spouse, and you must take care of it as the utmost priority. If someone asks you or needs you to do something else that jeopardizes your relationship time, you have to say NO. Some people will understand, and some will not. Be brave and be bold in your stance. ***Leave me your feedback. I want to hear your comments about how you are using the podcast as a spark to improve your relationship fitness and solidify your relationship legacy. Let's help save the world--one relationship at a time! Connect with me: Facebook: Relationship Fitness Facebook Page Instagram: Relationship.Fitness Locals.com: https://relationshipfitness.locals.com/ (Locals.com membership required) Podcast website: RelationshipFitnessPodcast.com Not sure where to start your Relationship Fitness journey?1. Begin with my FREE eBook: How To 10X Your Relationship In ONE Conversation 2. Get my bestselling paperback book "7 Secrets To An Extraordinary Relationship Your Parent Couldn't Teach You" here. P.S. Check out my new channel on Locals.com at Relationshipfitness.Locals.com where I'm posting exclusive #RelationshipFitness content you won't see or hear anywhere else. (Locals.com membership required) P.S.S. Check us out on Spotify!

Welcome to the Relationship Fitness Podcast! There are always beneficial things we can learn from others if we just pay attention. I'm focusing today's show on what I've learned from a blog post written by Alexis Meads, 10 Things People Who Are Great At Relationships Do Differently. Some of the points she makes seem like common sense, but some are relationship secrets that we all need to know. Join me as we zero in on just two of her “10 Things.” Release false expectations of your partner. Don't become attached to the expectations you have of your partner. When someone doesn't meet our expectations, we become hurt and heartbroken, even if they did nothing wrong. It's not fair to the other person, especially if we think we can change the other person once we get married, move in together, etc. Everyone is human and has their faults and weaknesses, but we tend to overlook our own faults and focus solely on our partner's. Stop projecting your baggage onto your partner. THIS is the cure for 90% of relationship problems. We tend to project our insecurities onto our partner without even realizing it. We have blind spots that are “automatic negative relationship reactions.” Many times, we are attracted to what we want to become, but the attraction turns to criticism and blame when we can't develop those same qualities in ourselves. Those insecurities and our reactions to them can be the downfall of our relationship. We have to understand that relationships are a vehicle for our own growth, and our partner in life may be our greatest teacher. We have to embrace the lessons! ***Leave me your feedback. I want to hear your comments about what inspires you to have a great relationship. Tell me your good relationship habits and share your best tips. Let's help save the world--one relationship at a time! Connect with me: Facebook: Relationship Fitness Facebook Page Instagram: Relationship.Fitness Locals.com: https://relationshipfitness.locals.com/ (Locals.com membership required) Podcast website: RelationshipFitnessPodcast.com Find Alexis Meads' blog: www.goodmenproject.com 10 Secrets for Success and Inner Peace by Wayne W. Dyer Not sure where to start your Relationship Fitness journey? 1. Begin with my FREE eBook: How To 10X Your Relationship In ONE Conversation 2. Get my bestselling paperback book "7 Secrets To An Extraordinary Relationship Your Parent Couldn't Teach You" here. P.S. Check out my new channel on Locals.com at Relationshipfitness.Locals.com where I'm posting exclusive #RelationshipFitness content you won't see or hear anywhere else. (Locals.com membership required) P.S.S. Check us out on Spotify!

Thanks for joining me on the Relationship Fitness Podcast! I just went through a coaching workshop with my Mastermind group, and I learned a lot! Something that came up in our discussions is the idea of blocking out calendar time for priorities, which usually assures that we give our attention to that important thing. Can we apply this technique to prioritizing quality time together in our relationship? We all have busy, busy lives, but we can't allow our relationship to get lost in the hustle and bustle. Join me as we explore this idea! Block out time for your spouse Scheduling time for things you need to do is a good way to give them your attention. If you've blocked time in your day for your spouse, then nothing short of an emergency should keep that from happening. We are used to putting so many other obligations first that our relationship often gets pushed to the back burner. We have to do better. Work obligations, our kids and their activities, and keeping the household running cannot take over and squeeze out our quality time together. Get out your calendar and give it a try. Remember that routines are just habits--and they can be changed If your routine has become “everything else ahead of relationship time,” then that's a habit that can be changed. We can't allow other people's priorities to come before our number one priority--and that includes your kids. Obviously, young children require more of your attention, but as they grow up, they need to see that your time together is a priority. Your number one priority in your life is your true-love connection to each other, and nothing should take precedence over that. Create new habits Both of you should get together and remember the things you most enjoy doing together. Coordinate your work schedules and other commitments, and then schedule out date nights and getaways. Nothing should interrupt these scheduled times unless it is urgent. Agree together that careers, family commitments, and other activities will not happen at the expense of your relationship. How much better is it to be gloriously happy together than to sacrifice it all for a career or more money--and end up being miserable roommates who barely tolerate each other? Scheduling fun activities together creates an excited expectation that will relieve a lot of the stress of daily life, and that's always a good thing. So, go ahead, plan that date night or weekend getaway---and put it on the calendar right now! ***Leave me your comments. I want to hear your feedback about how you are prioritizing your relationship and keeping the connection alive and thriving. Let's help save the world--one relationship at a time! Connect with me: Facebook: Relationship Fitness Facebook Page Instagram: Relationship.Fitness Locals.com: https://relationshipfitness.locals.com/ (Locals.com membership required) Podcast website: RelationshipFitnessPodcast.com Not sure where to start your Relationship Fitness journey? 1. Begin with my FREE eBook: How To 10X Your Relationship In ONE Conversation 2. Get my bestselling paperback book "7 Secrets To An Extraordinary Relationship Your Parent Couldn't Teach You" here. P.S. Check out my new channel on Locals.com at Relationshipfitness.Locals.com where I'm posting exclusive #RelationshipFitness content you won't see or hear anywhere else. (Locals.com membership required)  

Thanks for joining me on the Relationship Fitness Podcast! Today's episode focuses on two important topics. We are discussing what you need to understand about your relationship skills to take them from sucky to super successful. We'll also break down the importance of giving and receiving feedback in constructive ways. Join me! Fact: Your relationship will match up with your skills If you have great relationship skills, your relationship will be great! Likewise, “just OK” relationship skills will yield a “just OK” relationship, and sucky relationship skills will only bring a sucky relationship. It's not difficult to see the correlation. Realize that the honeymoon phase will not last forever, and if you don't work at your relationship skills, you'll find yourself in what I call “relationship drift.” This will take you into the dreaded stage of being “just OK.” The reason you have sucky relationship skills is because your parents had sucky relationship skills; unfortunately, those skills are passed on from generation to generation.  Fact: You CAN improve your sucky relationship skills The good news is that we can do better! How? Keep learning more about relationships. Watch my videos! Listen to and read what the experts say. Continue learning about love, relationships, and your partner, because the learning process never stops. Don't let your learning and growth descend to a plateau, but keep pushing higher. None of us will ever arrive at the point where we know it all and perfectly understand the science of relationships, but we can keep trying! Fact: Taking criticism is crucial The success of your relationship doesn't depend on how hard you work at it, but whether or not you're working on it the right way. You may work really hard at something that irritates the heck out of your partner, but it's pointless if you don't understand each other. We have to get really good at giving and accepting critical feedback. Ask for feedback with questions like, “How can I improve?” Be willing to have candid conversations and don't take criticism personally. It's a 10x relationship skill!   ***Leave me your comments. I want to hear your feedback about how you are giving and receiving criticism. Let's help save the world--one relationship at a time!   Connect with me: Facebook: Relationship Fitness Facebook Page Instagram: Relationship.Fitness Locals.com: https://relationshipfitness.locals.com/ (Locals.com membership required) Podcast website: RelationshipFitnessPodcast.com Mentioned in this episode: Love Sense by Dr. Sue Johnson Not sure where to start your Relationship Fitness journey? Begin with my FREE eBook: How To 10X Your Relationship In ONE Conversation Get my bestselling paperback book "7 Secrets To An Extraordinary Relationship Your Parent Couldn't Teach You" here. P.S. Check out my new channel on Locals.com at Relationshipfitness.Locals.com where I'm posting exclusive #RelationshipFitness content you won't see or hear anywhere else. (Locals.com membership required) P.S.S We'll be on Spotify REAL soon!!

Welcome to Episode 70 of the Relationship Fitness Podcast! When it comes to your relationship, being OK is not OK! When someone asks how you are doing, a “not too bad” reply still suggests that things are bad. Don't settle for just being compatible with your partner. Your relationship can be so much more! Join me for a closer look! The mighty, soaring eagle When a relationship is fresh and new, it is soaring like an eagle--way up on “cloud nine,” we might say. But over time, our relationship might take some hits as we encounter life's storms. As the eagle that is our relationship dips and dives, it may drift down to a plateau where we are “just OK.” We mistakenly think that state will continue, but we can't see the changes that are occurring. With clipped wings, our relationship is stuck, and the plateau becomes a downward slide toward “We're OK” hell or even divorce hell. Our relationship drama becomes a bad influence on everyone, and we leave a bad relationship legacy for our kids and grandkids, who are watching and learning from us. Watch out for wolves and cougars! When the eagle (relationship) isn't soaring anymore, it's stuck on the plateau and can't avoid the wolves and cougars that are hiding in the bushes and behind the rocks. The wolves and cougars are people around us who have a weak moral compass--or no moral compass. They are looking for weak spots and openings in our relationship so they can jump in and offer “just what we need.” They don't understand or just don't care that they are interfering in an established relationship, and we fall prey to them.  Keep working at Relationship Fitness! If you don't keep working to improve your relationship fitness, then your wings will be clipped, and your relationship will have no choice but to become prey for the wolves and cougars that are prowling around. Your weakness will be exploited, and your relationship can be ruined forever. How can we keep this from happening? Seek out books, resources, mentors, and counselors that can help strengthen your relationship. Don't get comfortable and settle for being  OK with being OK! What are you teaching your kids about relationships? Let's get to work and stop the relationship dysfunction! ***I want your feedback! Let me know how your relationship is soaring and how you are fighting to be more than just OK. Tell me how you are strengthening your relationship and what topics you want to hear about on the podcast. Thanks for listening! Connect with me: Facebook: Relationship Fitness Facebook Page Instagram: Relationship.Fitness Locals.com: https://relationshipfitness.locals.com/ (Locals.com membership required) Podcast website: RelationshipFitnessPodcast.com Mentioned in this episode: The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself by Michael A. Singer Not sure where to start your Relationship Fitness journey? 1. Begin with my FREE eBook: How To 10X Your Relationship In ONE Conversation 2. Get my bestselling paperback book "7 Secrets To An Extraordinary Relationship Your Parent Couldn't Teach You" here. P.S. Check out my new channel on Locals.com at Relationshipfitness.Locals.com where I'm posting exclusive #RelationshipFitness content you won't see or hear anywhere else. (Locals.com membership required) P.S.S We'll be on Spotify REAL soon!!

Welcome to the Relationship Fitness Podcast! I've got practical tips and helpful resources to share with you about today's topic: bad days and good days. Even the best relationships have both bad days and good days. Why? Because we are human, and these days are the essence of life. I'm sharing lessons I've learned to deal with the bad days and make those good days even better. How can your relationship be better today than it was yesterday? Join me for today's episode! Don't be a hypocrite When either partner is having a bad day, my military side wants to identify the problem, fix it, and move on. In relationships, things are different, and a different approach is needed. Mistakes happen, but no one has all the answers. Learn to solve problems together. When your partner is down and defeated, your primary job is to listen and be their cheerleader, confidante, and critic. Don't be the critic who tears down, but be the one who builds up and inspires excellence.  Have compassion for each other Realize that we all have bad days because there is always pressure in providing and caring for a family. Pressure can come from internal and external directions. Sometimes one partner has to carry the load with compassion and understanding while the other partner gets back on their feet. Face the bad days with a WE mentality---together.  Have patience and understanding  The ugly truth is that we are human and frail. We fail sometimes. Aim high in your relationship, but know that there will be failures. We don't always know the reasons behind someone's bad day, so patience and understanding are key elements in a strong relationship.    **Leave me your thoughts. I'd love to know how you show compassion, patience, and understanding in your relationship. Remember that creating and maintaining a loving, passionate relationship is the best legacy we can leave for our kids and grandkids, so let's get to it! Your Relationship Warrior coach,

EP 68 - Is your relationship how you envisioned it would be? We'll be on Spotify REAL soon!! Is your relationship how you envisioned it would be when you first started thinking about marrying your then-boyfriend/girlfriend? Are you starting to see some cracks in the fairytale dream? 

Coming soon!!! The Relationship Fitness Podcast will be on Spotify and iHeart very soon!!! WhooHoo!!!

I've got a great episode for you today! 

EP 65 - 3 surprising tips to help level up your relationship I've got 3 surprising tips to help level up your relationship today that you may not have thought about before or if you have heard them… Maybe it wasn't in this exact way and it's definitely worth checking out.  

EP 63 - Is your relationship on the road to becoming another statistic or a positive legacy? The importance of getting your relationship connection and level of intimacy to a state of displaying and leaving a positive legacy cannot be overstated. The future state of our world

Have you ever given an automatic negative reaction to something your spouse or one of your kids did or said and then was shocked at your reaction or the statement that came out of your mouth?

One of the worst unresolved expectations that cause frustrations in multiple areas of the relationship is "They should just know."

Today's episode is all about working to create an environment in which you're able to bring up sensitive topics and not have a blowout argument over it or get your head bit off, figuratively of course. Ha-ha!

In today's episode, I talk about an equation I came up with that determines how successful

So, this week I'm talking about how the laziness of the brain,

Have you ever had a morning where you and your spouse wake up at the same time and start going thru your normal morning routine and you can tell something is off with them? You ask what is wrong and she tells you in a hurtful voice " I had a bad dream and you hurt my feelings and I'm mad at you!" 

You're not everyone's angel or savior. The more time you spend helping people with their agenda, drama, project, etc. the more time you take away from the most important relationship affecting the level of joy, happiness, peace, intimacy, and fulfillment in this brief life.   Learning to say no to things that don't improve the bottom line is a must. The bottom line?   Yes. The bottom line is the inner circle. The inner-circle that is your relationship. If what is being asked of you detracts from your relationship it likely should be a no. Why do I say likely?   Because there are bound to be some things that come along that may feel like a sacrifice and take some time away from the inner circle, but the upside if significant enough and the impact is not significant and easily overcome then it “might” be worth the cost. Tread lightly in these instances.   This is the importance of passing any ask of your time no directly related to your own personal and relationship goals through the RWID filter.   What is RWID filter? Tune in to this week's episode and find out.   Please like, share, and comment!   Remembers, your just one conversation from leveling up your relationship and it only takes one person in a relationship to get things improving.   Tom, #RelationshipWarrior   Get my bestselling book "7 Secrets To An Extraordinary Relationship Your Parent Couldn't Teach You" here.   Connect with me on Facebook: Relationship Fitness Facebook Page   P.S. Check out my new channel on Locals.com at Relationshipfitness.Locals.com where I'm posting exclusive #RelationshipFitness content you won't see or hear anywhere else.  

There are many different types of fuel you can use to maintain the fire in your relationship. The trick is to use the best fuel for the specific moment.