The Courage to Be

⁣⁣⁣As International Women's Month comes to an end ⁣I'm back on The Courage to Be podcast with previous guest Monique Carayol to explore “The Courage to Be a Real Woman in Business”. ⁣ Each time I talk with Monique I am reminded of what it means and how it feels to get under the surface quickly and gracefully. We jump into some big topics and I'd love to hear your personal reflections/experiences on what we share.  We explore what gets in the way of talented woman showing up as themselves, what it means to bring our magic to the world and what can hold us back. We talk diversity, both in the workplace and at home and what it means to ask for the support we need to pursue our purpose.  If you haven't yet listened to Januarys episode with Monique, here is the link https://sineadmillard.com/podcasts/brave-leadership-with-monique-carayol/ Monique talks about leadership from a place of deep experience gained from starting as a PA in the NHS and navigating her way to a board level executive director. As always, thank you for listening.   

Happy New Year everyone, I'm excited to kick off the year in conversation with Monique Carayol. Monique talks about leadership from a place of deep experience gained from starting as a PA in the NHS and navigating her way to a board level executive director. Monique won the PRECIOUS Outstanding Woman in the Public Sector award in 2017. I share this because of course it's a huge achievement, but more so because I had one hour with Monique and in that short time I could feel what it meant to be in Monique's company. I was reminded of my previous guest Owen Eastwood “to belong is to be seen, and to be accepted and respected for who you are” and I felt all of this in Monique's company. ⠀ Check out Monique's podcast Be Yourself, Back Yourself and Make it Happen.    Thanks for listening.    Sinéad x   

⁣⁣Today, I am joined by Sinéad and Gillian from Intuitive Eating Ireland.  Sinéad, a mental health nurse and nutritional therapist, and Gillian, a mental health social worker and yoga teacher, have created an online community aimed at deconstructing diet culture and harmful attitudes towards weight loss and nutrition. Our conversation goes beyond intuitive eating, exploring how to  listen into our body's individual cues and to unlearn all the rules and judgements from all the external sources in your life. If you are not already following Sinéad and Gillian take a look at their instagram page here.    If you enjoy the podcast, your support in any form would be great, rating or leaving a comment on Apple, clicking on follow on spotify or share it on your social platforms. I'd really appreciate it.    Sending love,  Sinéad

⁣⁣“Whakapapa., You belong here”. This conversation is an absolute gem. I don't really have a licence to say that, do I?!  But this weeks guest really had an impact and inspired much reflection (days after!), I am so pleased to finally get to share it with you all.⠀ I'm joined by Owen Eastwood, one of the most in-demand performance coaches in the world and author of the book Belonging. Over the past decade, Owen has worked with some of the most elite teams and groups in the world, including Gareth Southgate's England Football team, the Command Group of NATO, the South African Cricket Team, corporate leadership teams, elite ballet and the British Olympic team.⠀ The stories Owen shares are both personal and from his work. Each brings insight and energy. ⠀⠀ I'd love you hear any reflections you might have.⠀  

⁣I promised a bonus episode this week, so here it is! This was a special one as I got to sit around my kitchen table, coffee in hand with my wonderful guest by my side, such a treat! So much so I may have forgotten we were recording at times!⠀ Today's guest is Sonica Mushi from Crossroads Counselling. We delve deep into many of "The Courage to Be" themes from approval seeking to external validation, understanding what's healthy and what's too much, We talk about bringing more of ourselves to each interaction, "going below the surface" and the difference it makes. How to recognise unhelpful patterns and replace them with healthier ways to cope, self sacrifice and knowing that we can choose where to give without compromising our own needs.⠀ ⠀ ⠀ Let's just say Sonica's background is pretty extensive so we got to cover off quite a lot in this conversation! ⠀ ⠀ Link in bio or over on your favourite podcast app.  ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ I'm back in June with Season Four, but for now, thank you all for listening.  Sinéad x  

This week, I am joined by the wonderful Marian Boswall, for those of you who know Marian or enjoy her awe-inspiring grid, you'll know what I mean when I say this was a very special episode. And if you haven't yet come across Marian, you're in for a treat. Marian is a leading landscape architect and founder of MBLA studios, best known for creating stunning gardens in sensitive or historic settings. As always here on The Courage to Be podcast, we go beyond everyday business! We explore the topic of voice and what it means to use your voice in a way that is truly meaningful, Marian shares her love for writing, her beliefs, both new and old and we talk love, nature and childhood memories.  ⠀ ⁣I can only describe this conversation as nourishing and wonderfully up-lifting. Check out Marian's instagram page for daily inspiration and beauty.  Thank you so much for listening. 

This week I was inspired to talk about values. I've pulled an extract from my conversation with Dr Steven C Hayes (Episode 34), bestselling author of A Liberated Mind.  I love how Steven explores the topic of values; bringing more intentionality and presence into our life, seeing the sweetness in our pain, the yearning behind our hurt. Our values inform how we spend our time and energy, but its not always as straightforward as it seems. Connecting to our innate values can be challening. Society can often send some mixed messages around what "matters", be that receiving more popularity, attaining more financial status or adhering to certain beauty standards. But as we grow and evolve we have the opportunity to really uncover what truly matters and when we start to live out our life in a way that aligns to our vlaues we feel that deeply, it builds an inner peace.  Often times, we walk through this world not really knowing what our values are, but tuning into what makes us tick is available to each and everyone of us. In the second half of this epsiode, Steven offers up some great ways to begin to open up to what matters, what we value, what we truly care for.    There are many definitions of values, one I find helpful is that of Dr. Gregg Henriques of James Madison University: “Values are what we deem important and worthy in life. They inform how we spend our time and energy. We often inherit them from our families of origin, and then add, swap, and/or modify our values based on education and experience as we age. Often times, we walk through this world not really knowing what our values are, which can be problematic. If we don't have a clear understanding of what makes us tick, then we'll have a hard time trying to change pieces of ourselves (or authentically responding to others in a healthy manner). Awareness first, choice second.” If you think this episode could help someone else, please do share.  As always, thanks for listening.  Sinéad x

A rare condition struck Vanessa Potter with blindness and paralysis almost over-night.  In 2012 Vanessa's life was ticking along just fine. It wasn't perfect, but she had a successful career and a loving family. Vanessa had just taken time out to set up a new business and hang out with her children. Unfortunately fate had other plans and Vanessa was hit with a mystery illness leaving her blind, paralysed and reeling. The year it took for Vanessa's sight to return changed her life and recovery was anything but usual. Vanessa's response to her illness was to document the entire journey via an mp3 player. Her curiosity and quest for answers led her to Cambridge University, persuading neuroscientists to help her research her incredible visual rebirth. After collaborating on an EEG project that invited members of the public to see and hear their own mindful brainwaves translated into music and art, Vanessa was invited to give a TEDx talk in Ghent. Vanessa published her first book, Patient H69: The Story of my Second Sight, in 2017.   Vanessa's curiosity didn't end there, she publishes her latest book Finding My Right Mind: One Woman's Experiment to Put. Also, you can listen to Vanessa's podcast where she will "look at what happens when meditation is challenging and how it can sometimes nudge up again trauma. I'll ask why my inner critic needs a name (and an outfit) and how perfectionism is the worse aspiration I can have."  As always thank you for listening.           

This week I explore the topic of noticing with the wonderful Lucy Allen friend and business partner.    We talk about what it means to notice and the many forms that noticing takes; noticing our thoughts, writing our thoughts down, noticing and leaning into our feelings, the pleasant and the unpleasant.    We link it back to self-understanding. Acknowledge the difference between conscious and unconscious living.    I'd love to hear your views on this.    Sending love,  Sinéad              

⁣This week I speak to the amazing Jenny Keane..."when we open conversations about sex and sexuality, we normalise something that IS SO NORMAL."⠀ We explore the true power of wellness, to move between stress and ease. We look at changing the script around sex and sexuality - questioning the beliefs we hold and the narratives we've inherited.  ⠀ We unpack pleasure and what it really means, the practice and the discipline of bringing more pleasure into our life. ⠀ We explore sex education, what we have learnt and what we need to re-learn. Jenny's teaching makes sex education simple, fun and unashamedly normal. "Science is complicated, exploring sex shouldn't be and your pleasure is personal.”⠀ ⁣I urge you to get curious! Oh and please share this episode, let's play a role in Jenny's mission which is to ⁣ignite a sexual revolution in Ireland.⠀   You'll find Jenny on Instagram or you can check out her website for more info on her offerings.    As always thank you so much for listening.       

Today, I explore the value of questioning what we have been taught in all areas of our life. To ask ourselves “who told me that?”. In whatever area of life we are looking at, be that our views on love, health, sex, success, career…we must ask ourselves ”what do I want to unlearn and what do I want to re-learn in this area”? This theme is particularly fitting this week, as yesterday I spoke to the wonderful Jenny Keane on the topic of sex and sexuality, an opportunity to explore some of the beliefs mandated to us by society around sex and how that has instilled some shame and embarrassment around the topic. More to come on that in next weeks episode! “Half of wisdom is learning what to unlearn.” Larry Niven Here is the conversation with Alain Bottoin on the topic of love that I promised to share.  As always, thank you for listening. 

NEW EPISODE: This week over on The Courage to Be podcast, I talk about how to stay with unpleasant feelings, the tougher feelings that we all encounter in any one day, why we are conditioned to avoid pain and what's the benefit of bringing it closer. Hey, I even wrote a poem at the very end -  perhaps lockdown is takings its toll!⠀ ⁣I am moving to weekly episodes, no more seasons, you will find a new episode every Friday morning wherever you listen to your podcast. I would love your support on this so please do subscribe, you can hold me accountable! I've got some great guests lined up for the coming weeks. ⠀  Sending love. ⠀   ⠀

This week I talk about rejection and why it hurts.     I look at why we are so susceptible to feelings of rejection, why it hurts so badly and  how we can release its grip of rejection. Here is a link to a study which I have referenced "Emotional responses to interpersonal rejection" Here is a study that illuminates the 'pain' of social rejection. As always thank you for listening.       

This week I speak to Stephen Rowbotham, a British rower. Born in the West Country, tennis and rugby were always his sports as a boy. Stephen lived in Belgium and Spain as a teenager and then went to Durham University to do Economics which is where he started to row. After three years, Stephen was in the Great Britain u23 squad and in 2004 he was selected for Athens Olympics. Six weeks before the Games he was dropped and singled out for poor performance of the boat. Four years later he was standing on the medal podium in Beijing with an Olympic Bronze medal around my neck. In today's conversation, Stephen opens up about what it was like to be dropped from the boat so close to the games and what motivated him to get back up and make it to the Beijing Olympics.  As always, please do share your feedback and thank you for listening. 

⁣I thought long and hard about what to focus on in this week's solo episode and I landed on sharing with you some podcasts, insights and general themes that have resonated with me lately and, that have been very useful.   I talk to what it has been like to practise sitting with more uncomfortable feelings, to acknowledge and feel not just the pleasurable moments but the painful moments too. To stay with feelings of hurt, anxiety, frustration and more, instead of becoming distracted or “busy”.  I reflect on some of the wonderful insights that Dr. Edith Eger shared in her conversation with Russell Brand and why I listened to this particular conversation three times! I also refer to the work of Tara Brach who has been a voice of calm and inspiration for me in recent months.   I touch on radical transparency, what it means for the podcast and in more generally, in life. Oh and, I explore prayer too.     I know everyone's situation is very different right now so listening to a podcast might be a complete stretch for some and perhaps not for others. I have been popping my headphones on at any opportunity and when time is extra tight (and homeschooling has completely taken over my life) I listen in bed.   I hope you can enjoy this or take away a nugget or two of inspiration. Please share any thoughts, I love hearing from you.    Here are the links that I refer to in my podcast today:  https://www.russellbrand.com/podcast/ https://luminary.link/zZQAgirhedb https://www.tarabrach.com/cultivating-courageous-heart/    

In today's episode, I am interviewed by Elizabeth Cairns. I talk about how The Courage to Be has evolved, what is means in very simple terms and my aspirations for Season Three.    Hope you enjoy it and thank you so much for listening.     

After facing a life-threatening disease, 37-year-old Kiko Matthews set herself the challenge of becoming the fastest woman to solo row across the Atlantic, unassisted with no previous experience of rowing.   As you'll hear in today's episode, half way through her training, her brain tumour came back.   But to the surprise of many, that didn't stop Kiko from believing she could accomplish her goal.   "Sitting in the middle of the Atlantic ocean, with the closest humans to me located in space, it was easy to wonder...how the hell did I get here?   The feat not only helped Kiko achieve a world record but also gave her the opportunity to give back to the very people that helped her survive. Join me as I finds out exactly what it takes to break the Atlantic rowing record after brain surgery. Click here to find out more about Kiko.   

In todays conversation, I speak to Patricia Lindo, founder and CEO of Style Incorporated.  Style Incorporated is a niche executive headhunting agency focused on the Luxury Fashion & Design Industry.  Patricia (also known as Pat), takes us back to her earlier years, growing up in Sheffield and of Jamaican heritage, Pat's Mother had a huge influence on her life. "Pat hold your head up, walk straight and be proud of who you are" were her mothers words.  As a result, from an early age, Pat became very sure of herself and independent.  At the age of 15, Pat decided to study fashion and after four years in University she moved to London to pursue her interest in the Fashion Industry. Pat was introduced to a world she had never experienced before, in her words "it was like a comedy show".  She shares, with depth and meaning, many stories and experiences she had along the way. In particular the experience she gained with each role she pursued and what it was like to work in such a high pressured and competitive [fashion] industry.  But deep down, Pat was craving more. An entrepreneur at heart, Pat decided to set-up her own business in 1997, which today is known as Style Incorporated.  Pat describes her relationship with faith; how it enables her to pause, reset and slow down. She talks about her experience with her healer and how this played an important role in Pat moving away from the materialistic world and instead choosing a simpler way of living.  We talk about the nature of the fashion industry, the pace, the competition and the pressure. As Pat contemplates the next chapter for Style Incorporated she shares her passion for creatives and in particular, providing a pillar of support for these young creatives and the challenges they may face.  To connect with Patricia or the team at Style Incorporated click here Style Incorporated Connect. As always, thank you so much for listening. 

In today's episode, I draw on a wonderful quote by Carl Rogers where he defines authenticity as being the author of one's life.  This quote resonates strongly as it talks to the empowering nature of authenticity. To feel empowered, to take ownership, to take charge, to be intentional, across every area of your life. What better feeling could we ask for, to feel like we are creating rather than reacting? Unfortunately, we don't always take advantage of the freedom we have to create our own life. Of course, the extent to which we have autonomy varies, for example, if you work for an organisation you must work within the scope of the company culture. Yet even so, you can look for ways to create more autonomy at work. I've seen clients do it and reap the benefits.  Have a look at your life, both personal and professional, ask yourself "am I reacting or am I creating? "Can I look for more ways to create autonomy?" As always, thank you all for listening. 

Emmie Faust has a rich professional background. She has set up, scaled and sold multiple businesses in the media and marketing space. She has saved clients hundreds of thousands of pounds and has generated millions in net profit for her businesses. But in today's conversation, Emmie talks to some of the tougher moments, sharing very openly and with strength and vulnerability, the mistakes she has encountered along the way and what it took for her to recognise that her failures were critical to the overall success of her career. Emmie shares her experience on Dragons Den and what it meant to receive investment for a company that ended up failing.  We hear about decisions Emmie has made over the years and quickly get a sense that her capacity and her courage to make tough decisions is one of her strengths. Emmie shares her experience in Google and what it took to leave the company after just 6 weeks.  We delve into Emmie's experience with her Business Coach, in particular the mindset work that has enabled Emmie to own her story, her failures and her successes, as well as lean into her voice in a more meaningful and impactful way.  Click here to find out more about Emmie. 

Welcome back to this weeks bonus episode of The Courage to Be. Have you ever wondered why you might feel good after certain social interactions and not so good after others?  I could leave a conversation feeling energised and overall content in myself and leave another feeling drained and riddled with self-doubt.  Why do you think this is? For me, it comes down to the story I'm telling myself when interacting with that person.  If the story I'm telling myself is - this person is more than me and that I am less than them, that they have more to offer and I less to offer, I will fail to connect with this person.  The conversation will be negatively influenced by my inferiority, I am less likely to show up as me and instead try to be more like them (a huge energy drain!). My goal (even if sub-conscious) will be validation rather than connection, which doesn't feel great for either party. Are you open to observing how you feel after different conversations and assessing why that might be? When you walk away feeling drained and bad about yourself have you placed that person on a pedestal? Have you assumed your less than that person?  Our relationship with others starts with the relationship we have with ourselves. Understanding our own individual value, accepting who we are.  As always thank you so much for listening and please do share if you think it could help someone else.   

The inspiration for today's episode came from Ego is the Enemy by Ryan Holiday, in particular the chapter on 'BECOME A STUDENT".  Ryan talks to the importance of sitting in the seat of a student but more importantly, how the ego can prevent us from taking this seat.  I share a recent experience I had as a student and how I too saw my ego come to the surface.  Being a student takes many forms, having a teacher is just one. Being your own teacher is also a valuable vehicle for learning. Setting time aside for self-critical reflection, asking yourself what could be done better, what competencies could be developed and what skills could be honed. Also, the art of seeking and accepting critical and harsh feedback - a powerful teacher available to us all.  Thank you for listening and please do share this episode with one other if you think it could help. 

Welcome back to this week's episode with Elizabeth Cairns, author of the Empowered Entrepreneur. Elizabeth is a coach who works with creative individuals who have a strong desire to make an impact in the world. I myself have worked with Elizabeth and have experienced her brilliance first-hand.  My intention for today's episode is for you to get the opportunity to experience Elizabeth for yourself in some small way; her capacity to hold space, to support and nurture and to inspire through her wonderful articulation of the many insights that she has to share. We cover a myriad of topics, from becoming a mother and stepping into a new way of being, right through to mothering and supporting ourselves along the way. Elizabeth talks about self-acceptance and holding people in the highest regard. We delve deeply into the topic of voice and the courage to use your voice. Elizabeth offers up some very practical and useful strategies around using your voice with meaning and impact. "Using your voice is a responsibility. When we use our voice we hear our voice." We discuss acting in line with your values - having that pulling rather than pushing effect when making decisions. Elizabeth refers to "possibility filled energy". We hear about her experience of writing her book, the Empowered Entrepreneur, and her capacity to engage with the creative process and to somewhat disengage from the outcome. Elizabeth talks to the importance of the book being authentic and what she had to do to make sure that happened. Click here to find out more about Elizabeth.  As always, thank you for listening. 

Have you noticed how as a culture we have really grown to value and perhaps even obsess about productivity? In today's episode my intention is to shed some light on why this obsession with productivity may exist and how challenging our definition of productivity could really help.  I draw on the work of Celeste Headlee, Author of the recently published book Do Nothing: How to Break Away From Overworking, Overdoing, and Under Living What does it mean to be productive? When did we begin to link productivity to hours spent on the job? Apparently it stems back to the Industrial Revolution which fundamentally changed the way we work. Specifically, time became money - time did not equal money before this time. This also resulted a shift in mindset - that hard work is what makes you a good person. That hard work is what makes you worthwhile  and valuable has just intensified generation  after generation, after generation. As always thank you so much for listening. Please contact me here to find out how we can work together.   

In today's episode I talk about self-worth and what happens when your career becomes your whole identity, your greatest source of worth.  How much value to you place on career achievement? How do you measure your sense of worth - what's your measuring stick?  You may not even consciously think about what type of stick you use to measure your self-worth. But it's likely that, deep down, you know. Thank you all for listening.     

Welcome back to this week's episode of The Courage to Be. I am very excited to share with you a conversation with the best selling author and visionary entrepreneur Fiona Humberstone, also known as The Brand Stylist. She's the author and publisher of the bestselling books How to Style your Brand and Brand Brilliance. She is passionate about inspiring entrepreneurs to create incredible brands.  But, as always, on The Courage to Be Podcast, our conversation is little bit more than everyday business. I was inspired to invite Fiona onto the show after she shared a post entitled "Feeling Vulnerable". On reading her post I was incredibly moved by her honestly, her vulnerability and her strength. We explore this experience in more detail and Fiona concludes "you're going to have times, like I do, when it's tougher than normal. But I think what that post [that vulnerable post] showed me, was actually it probably wasn't really things that I had got wrong. There was bigger stuff going on out there in the market." Fiona's capacity to reflect and learn from past experiences is very apparent throughout this conversation "I think I probably always look for the learning in everything" Fiona explains.  We talk about competence and confidence "when you feel inspired and creative and confident in yourself, you produce your best work and when you're producing your best work, that gives you this vitality." Fiona believes in letting brilliance lead the way "as entrepreneurs, we've got two choices, you can either put all of your energy into learning algorithms, learning how to write direct sales copy, creating elaborate sales funnels or you can put your energy into being really good at what you do and you cannot do both." Fiona shares her thoughts on branding, specifically for small businesses, explaining "I think our expectations as consumers are that we don't make any concessions for the fact that you're small in terms of your brand. You know, if you're making soaps, they need to look just as beautiful, if not more so than the stuff we can get on the high street." Fiona emphasises the importance of Brand Clarity "it requires you to be quite brave, because to have clarity, you have to accept that you're not going to be all things to everybody. You can't appeal to everyone. You've got to really focus on what it is that sets you apart and what makes you different." As always on The Courage to Be we talk about the critics and Fiona, in the wonderful way that she does explains "I don't not care. I really care about what people think, really deeply care and that can massively get in the way sometimes" To connect with Fiona head over to thebrand-stylist.com where you can also connect with Fiona across her social media platforms. 

Welcome back to this week's episode where I talk to authenticity and how it can hinder our success if we define it too rigidly. I draw on the work of Herminia Ibarra [The Authenticity Paradox] who raises the issue that people can in fact be too authentic. I talk about the benefits of expanding our definition of authenticity, how taking a more expansive look at authenticity enables us to think about our identity in a more playful way and leads to greater effectiveness.  I ask "what has enabled you to get to where you are today and what is required of you to get to where you want to go in the future?" Do you need to introduce new ways of behaving, new traits, new characteristics to adopt an identity that will enable you to move to the next level.  This is not about jeopardising our values rather being creative in trying new ways of working, new selves and new behaviours to get new results and greater fulfillment.  We cannot think our way into a new identity. We must act our way into a new identity. And it's that action that can very often feel uncomfortable.    As always thank you for listening. Is there an insight that has resonated with you here? If so please do share on social media with the #couragetobepodcast    

This week my guest is Author Clare Josa, the UK's leading expert on imposter syndrome. Clare conducted a landmark research study in 2019 that shows how widespread imposter syndrome is and how it is potentially costing UK businesses billions. ⠀⠀ Clare explains “it's hard to achieve your full potential if you're constantly worrying that ‘they' might find out you're not good enough, don't know as much as you should or that you got to where you are by accident.”    I had so many aha moments throughout this conversation, finally a body of research to shed some light on imposter syndrome. Clare guides us through the five-step strategy she has created over the past fifteen years of mentoring women in leadership roles.⠀⠀ Clare gets straight to the point. As a former Lean Manufacturing and Six Sigma engineer and former Head of Market Research for one of the world's most disruptive corporations, Clare brings decades of experience in creating breakthroughs, without the burnout To find out more about Clare Josa visit:   www.ClareJosa.com www.DitchingImposterSyndrome.com   Or connect with Clare on Social:  https://www.linkedin.com/in/clarejosa/ https://twitter.com/clare_josa https://www.instagram.com/clarejosa/ As always, thank you so much for listening and if you think this episode could help someone else please do share. 

This week's episode is about tough conversations; why we avoid them and how to more effectively have them. It may feel natural to avoid difficult conversations at first, especially if you dread discord; they are uncomfortable and they are uncertain, but avoiding a difficult conversation can lead to negative outcomes.  We can learn to have these tough conversations by taking the following steps: Step 1: Reframe difficult conversations Difficult conversations can actually strengthen personal bonds if you handle them well. If you are a leader who routinely has the courage to have difficult conversations it could be a route to building trust with your team.  If you have a culture whereby employees who avoid tough conversations and fail to confront their situation head on, it very often leads them to taking their negative attitudes elsewhere, which is not good for anyone (gossip and passive aggressive behaviour).  Step 2: Prepare but don't rehearse It's important to prepare ahead of the conversation.  For example, if you are looking for a pay rise, do your homework on your worth. How are you contributing to the bottom line.  However, going as far as writing a script and rehearsing it could limit your capacity to hear the other persons point of view.  Step 3: Be direct but curious Lean into the conversation with an open attitude and a genuine desire to learn. Respect the other person's point of view, and expect them to respect yours. Step 4: Reflect on your values  Ask yourself, are you jeopardising by not having this conversation? We all know what it feels like not to act in accordance to our values - perhaps not having this conversation will feel worse than having it!? Step 5 Recognise your Emotions Anticipate the emotions that may come up (both for you and the other person). For example, if you are speaking to someone regarding a performance related issue and you expect they will feel a little defensive of even angry, consider where you have the conversation. Would it be best to stroll out of for a coffee and have the conversation in a more relaxed and neutral environment? 5. Don't push it into the future any longer Avoiding a tough conversation or pushing it further into the future is draining and unproductive. Restore your energy, take action, lean into the discomfort, befriend the uncertainty.  Don't ignore the tough situations you are aware of today, what conversation do you need to have? And I'll leave you with some wisdom form the wonderful Brené Brown. Brené says that in the face of a difficult conversation, when we see someone in pain, it's our instinct to try to make things better. We want to fix, we want to give advice. She says empathy isn't about fixing, it's the braver choice to be with someone in their darkness – not to “race to turn on the light so we feel better.” Brené says a response can rarely make something better. Connection is what heals. The inspiration for today's episode came after I stumbled upon The Conversation Gap Whitepaper by Bravely Bravely surveyed more than 500 full-time employees across the country—managers, individual contributors, people at startups, people at large enterprises, and everyone in between. They found that seven in 10 people were avoiding tough conversations in the workplace—just like what was reported in 2009. As always thank you so much for listening, please do subscribe or share with friends so we can keep The Courage to Be podcast going strong.   

Today's guest is Clare Edwards, a Principal of BrainSmart Consulting and committed to enabling people to work smarter, lead effectively and thrive in a world of constant change. Clare is particularly passionate about the people side of change, a critical success factor in any change initiative, and works with teams and leaders to transition from change being feared to being embraced. Clare talks to some of her own personal transitions and the emotional experiences she had moving through them. We start with Clare's earlier years, she grew up in Liverpool, a very catholic family, it was expected that Clare would get married in her twenties and have children.  That didn't happen for Clare, by choice. Clare draws on a very big moment in her life, when her mum asked her to witness her Dad asking for a divorce. At a similar time in her life, in-between leaving school and starting college, Clare became infatuated with a man who turned out to be an abuser. We hear how Clare built up the courage and confidence to leave this relationship and her realisation that she would have to leave the country and fled too Holland. It is here that Clare shares her story of hope and we hear her innate talent to see the gift in the challenge. In every challenge, on reflection, Clare can find that gift in it. It's important that Clare shares her personal stories to show others that there are ways to think about the situation differently. Finding the questions that will facilitate the insights for clients is one of Clare strengths. Towards the end of the interview with get to hear more of Clare's approach to coaching. "Learn to sit with silence" "I am driven to normalise change for people" "It is important to acknowledge and give grace to the old" "If someone is resisting change it means they are hurting, they need to be acknowledged" "See me, hear me, feel me and acknowledge me" You can find out more about Brain Smart at https://brain-smart.com/who/ and follow Clare on Linkedin https://www.linkedin.com/in/beingbrainsmart As always thank you for listening and if you think this can help someone else, a friend, colleague or family member please do share. If you haven't yet subscribed pop over to https://sineadmillard.com/podcasts/ and click on your favourite app, once subscribed you'll get a new episode delivered straight to your podcast app fortnightly.  

Welcome back to Season Two. I am so excited for what's to come this season  - there are some wonderful guests on board, guests who are courageously willing to share their stories, particularly ones of struggle, vulnerability, crashing and rising again. To introduce Season Two, I myself am sitting in the guest seat, being interviewed by the wonderful Elizabeth Cairns.  If you haven't yet subscribed, visit sineadmillard.com and click on your favourite podcast app. You'll get a new episode delivered straight to your podcast app fortnightly. Here's to Season Two guys, I'm excited to share it with you all.

And that's a wrap for Season One! Did you enjoy it? In this final episode (of Season One), I talk to that ONE thing that stood out through each of the guest interviews. All of the guests on my show had one thing in common - the Courage to Be  - but each had their own story to tell within that.    Thank you all so much for your support, energy and feedback since launching.    I look forward to bringing you some new and exciting guests in Season Two. If there is someone you would like to hear on the show do let me know.  If you haven't yet subscribed pop over to your favourite podcast app and hit the subscribe button so you pick up the first episode of Season Two as soon as it launches.  As always, thank you all for listening.     

In today's interview I speak with former All-Black player, Nick Evans.  Nick made his Debut with the All Blacks in 2004 and he describes what that was like for him to live out his childhood dream. Nick takes us through some of the tougher moments that he experienced throughout his playing career, in particular being dropped by the All Blacks. Whilst this was a time of pain and hardship he knew he had to get clear on why he was dropped and he did. So much so, Nick was brought back into the squad soon after.  It's interesting to hear about Nick's childhood. He talks about being a product of our environment and how his childhood has influenced both his playing and now coaching career. We hear about his transition from player to coach and some of the obvious challenges that come with any transition and how he has and is continuing to deal with some of those challenges. One of the key take aways from this interview was Nick's capacity to reflect and learn from failure.  "Everyone wants to be told you're doing a good job. No one wants to hear that you're doing a bad job, but actually if you're doing a bad job, you need to hear it. You need to be clear, you need that critical feedback to allow you to grow and change things and change your path and get better and improve." If you enjoyed this episode, please do subscribe on your favourite podcast app - and even better, leave a review, I would love to hear your feedback. As always, thanks for listening.

 “Jump off the cliff and build your wings on the way down.” ― Ray Bradbury In today's episode we look at what it really means to "build your wings on the way down". Getting started can be hard, with resistance high before taking that first step/leap/jump. For that reason we find much inspiration out there to get us started for example "start before you're ready" by Steven Pressfield. But once we start what happens? Do we soar romantically through the sky? Not always, sometimes we feel like we are falling, picking up bruises and cuts along the way. But with each graze comes a new learning and with each learning comes a more informed decision. More information, more knowledge. If you want to delve deeper into this topic as it relate to your own personal circumstances then please do contact me through my website https://sineadmillard.com/contact/ to schedule a one on one focused session.  As always, thank you for listening. 

"Speaking, voice, message it belongs to all of us. The day of stage speakers only, motivational speakers only, speaking to sell, are long gone. Every single one of us has a voice. Every single one of us has a responsibility to use our voice. The places that your voice is going to make the difference is in living rooms, in bedrooms, in offices, at community events, in the train station. I hope you don't wait to get on the stage to use your voice. Your best work is done off stage. "  - Lisa Nichols talk on How to Use Your Voice Link to Lisa's talk: https://podcast.mindvalley.com/lisa-nichols-use-your-voice/ All too often I hear people say that "I didn't know my voice matters" or "I don't really have much to share" but there is a huge loss in this thinking, for two reasons. Firstly, others miss out on the gift of your voice and you loose out on the gift that comes with using your voice. Secondly, it dilutes your self-worth and in return your confidence. On some level you have told yourself that what you have to say is not enough, it doesn't matter.  In this episode I urge you to: Step 1: Think about an area, a situation or a relationship whereby you feel you are not speaking up? Where are you feeling a desire to speak up, but suppressing that urge? Step 2: What is your inner voice saying to you in that particular area/situation/relationship? "if we want to talk about our outer communication we have to look at the inner communication" (Alexia Vernon) Use your inner voice as your guide to what is getting in the way of you speaking up.  Get clear on what that inner voice is saying, engage with it, challenge it.  For example if you are struggling to speak up at work, what is that inner voice saying, is it saying "don't speak up, you will lose your credibility". Then there is the inner voice that we want to listen to - the inner voice of wisdom, of intuition.  “Instead of pretending to themselves, and to others that they are something they are not, they start listening to their own inner voice of wisdom and begin to make more authentic decisions about how to lead their lives” - Professor Steven Joseph  Step 3:  Ask yourself, if I spoke up in this situation what would happen? Name it?  Outline the worse case scenario, put a spotlight on it, the chances are you will realise that this worst case scenario is pretty unlikely.    What does the The Courage to Use your Voice mean to you? What would it do for you, for your life, for the life of others if you started to use your voice in a more honest and courageous way.    If you want to delve deeper into this topic as it relate to your own personal circumstances then please do contact me through my website https://sineadmillard.com/contact/ to schedule a one on one focused session.     

In today's episode I speak to the Founder & Director of the Award winning Production & Digital Marketing Agency Lorg Media.  Loretta takes us back to some of the more uncomfortable decisions and choices she made before Lorg Media. In particular leaving her full-time, very reputable job with a major national state broadcaster TG4, when at the time many people believed she was crazy to do so.  Loretta draws on some of the challenges she experiences today as a working Mother and really delves deep in to the reality of that and how she deals with some of the pressure.  Loretta had a very empowering childhood and shares some of those unique moments. Loretta is a natural born story teller so I do hope you enjoy as much as I did (and listen out for the cúpla focail gailge throughout the interview).  Loretta's "who are you not to be" mindset has taken her from Producer on the ground with the Oprah Winfrey Show to Founder of an award winning ⁣Production & Digital Marketing Agency Lorg Media.   ⁣⁣"Its not about Loretta, its not about Lorg Media, its about shining a light on the great things that so many wonderful people are doing."   You can find Loretta @lorg_media.    As always, if you haven't yet done so pop over to your favourite podcast app to subscribe and please do rate and review as your feedback means a lot!    Thanks for listening x           

Transitions come with their fair share of discontent, discomfort and frustration. For today's episode, the intention is to help shed some light on what you might be experiencing if you are currently going through a transition or help prepare you for future transitions.  As a coach, many of my clients have recently been through a transition or going through one at the moment or sense that one is on the horizon. I myself have been on a few transitions over the past few years - leaving the industry that I had worked so hard within for so many years, soon after getting married, then becoming a mom, setting up my own business and moving countries in between. One of the most useful resources on the topic of Transitions I believe is William Bridges who has written a book called Transitions  - Making sense of life changes. Bridges makes a fundamental distinction between transition and change. Change is something that happens outside of us. It's external, it's situational. For example, you move to a new city, you change job, it's the birth of a baby or perhaps a death of a relative or a close friend and it's happening externally. Transition, on the other hand is how you deal with those events. It's the internal process, it's the internal reorientation and perhaps self redefinition that you have to go through as a consequence of the changes that have happened. In today's episode I do draw on insights and stories as it relates to career change, but really these can be made relevant to any change and move from a to B. As we enter into a transition very often it feels like something is falling apart. A deeper part of you is letting you know that there's something else that needs to happen. There's a different direction or approach needed to move forward. The feeling of discontent is almost like a symptom, a piece of information. When I sit in front of clients who are in a period of transition, they sometimes feel a little broken, but they're not broken. They're receiving information to look at something in order to move forward or to grow or to move through something in order to get to the other side. Very often when we think of our career, for example, we think of it as this linear progression, but career is not a ladder. It's a winding road. Sometimes we get these little prompts in life that something is not working and the level of fulfilment that comes from listening to those prompts makes it very worthwhile. We don't always hear people talking or sharing their experience of transitions and perhaps it's because we don't always know when we are going through a transition. If I look back at some of the transitions that I went through, I haven't really shared too much of the detail or the feelings that I experienced throughout that time. If I recall, my first year of being a mom, I remember going from this career woman who had all this freedom and independence to throw myself into my career, to live a very independent life, to now being a mom who had decided to leave the industry that she had worked so hard to grow within, to now not knowing what my future career looked like. William Bridges has identified the three stages of any transition stage one being the ending, stage two being the neutral zone and stage three, the new beginning. I'll draw on each of these throughout the episode. As I think about and recall the transitions that I've been through, I can safely say I bypassed the first stage, which was the ending. Very often we want to jump straight into the new beginning. We want to celebrate, we want to move into action without considering or taking time out to think about what we're leaving behind, what has ended, what we need to let go.    I started to think about why we perhaps struggle to reflect on letting go or why letting go was so difficult or that reflection process. And then there is the neutral stage. Definitely the stage that most people, myself included, struggle with the most with. It's boredom, the restlessness. It feels like there is a high degree of uncertainty. It requires a lot of patience. There is a lot of waiting. I have wanted to skip over this period. I've wanted to know the answers. I've wanted to become more fulfilled immediately.  If I draw on the time I had left my career in marketing, one year in and I was beginning to feel frustrated that I had no answers. I was done exploring!  I wanted answers. The neutral zone is almost like a holding pattern. A phase of life between an ending and a new beginning. It is easy to feel frustrated, impatient, restless, angry, sometimes frustrated, wanting to know. But it's a huge part of the process. A lot is going on inside even though sometimes it looks like there's very little happening to the outside.   I think this is a time whereby people dread that question of what it is you're doing. Society very often rewards action, doing, knowing, titles and roles. And when we feel like we're in a space where we can't answer those questions and we don't have those answers ourselves, it can be quite a struggle. But hang tight, this is not a time to jump into something or to make too many quick decisions. There is something happening here. Even though the nature of the neutral zone and the inaction of the neutral zone makes it a little bit more difficult to see any progress or any growth, seek support.  Then there is the final stage, which is the beginning. After doing the tough work of sitting through that period of neutrality, sitting through that discomfort of not knowing, the new way starts to feel right. The new beginning has been made or is unfolding and we start to see that the fear and the uncertainty that we had, particularly in that neutral zone, begins to dissolve a little. For today's episode, the intention is to help shed some light on what you might be experiencing if you are currently going through a transition. And perhaps ask yourself what stage you're in. If you haven't yet gone through each of these stages, can you begin to work through them, if you haven't yet, for example, focused on stage one, which is the ending, which is the letting go, perhaps you can begin to start here and look at what that letting go can bring you as it relates to your transition. Of course, if you're not currently going through a transition, hopefully this can help you in the future. None of us can bypass change. And with change comes transition. Thank you so much for listening. If there is something that you've heard in this episode that has resonated with you or perhaps you think it could benefit someone else, then please do share this link or start the conversation. If you haven't done so already, click on the subscribe button in your listening app. 

After interviewing ex-All Blacks player Nick Evans last week I was inspired by Nick's capacity to reflect and learn from failure. To really diagnose the problem and articulate what needs to be done differently in the future.    The intellectually thoughtful you and I may say we welcome failure and that we know we can learn from failure, but then there is the emotional you and I that very often struggles with it.   If we are not learning from each of our failures, it's hard to say if they are in fact contributing to our growth.    The intention for today's episode is to get clear on how you currently deal with failures and then develop a process for how you will deal with failures in the future.   I draw on some of Ray Dalio's work in this area. Ray refers to mistake-based learning.    If you enjoyed this episode, please do subscribe on your favourite podcast app - and even better, leave a review, I would love to hear your feedback.   As always, thanks for listening.  

Bernadette used to be someone who was always exposing herself to challenges in order to be the best that she could be, pushing herself physically, mentally and professionally. This included achieving her PhD by the time she was 28, completing her Masters at Imperial College, running marathons and even ultra marathons! Bernadette had little time or consideration for rest, recovery or recuperation, it just wasn't something that sat comfortably with her. However, it eventually all caught up with her. In 2016 she experienced burnout, exhaustion, low mood and anxiety. She was not sleeping more than 4 hours a night, struggling to get out of bed in the morning but wired at night meaning she couldn't sleep no matter how much she tried. This was a strange situation to be in because she considered herself to be a fit person, She ran a lot and went to the gym and ate well, but pushing herself physically and mentally made her feel very unwell. Eventually she was diagnosed with chronic stress and adrenal fatigue. As someone who was always surrounded by high achieving individuals (whether that was professional athletes or high achieving academics), the message was always "push harder". This was the story Bernadette started to tell herself, you need to push harder and harder. However, Bernadette found out there is a tipping point.  "There is such a fine line - there is a tipping point that we are all trying to find and most often we find it by accident" We all experience stress but knowing where the line is, where the tipping point is important. Very often we find the line when we go over it. For an athlete that may be an injury, for someone in corporate it might be burnout.  As adults we need to continuously explore our needs and find ways to meet these needs. There is no one size fits all.  Stress is inevitable, we can't prevent it, but we can build up our resilience in order to deal with it. We need to learn how to manage it.  Can you treat yourself like an athlete? Bernadette's explains that if we treated ourselves like athletes - "corporate athletes" - we would recognise that there is a need for rest and recovery in order to perform. Athletes recognise the importance of recovery in order to compete, this is no different for non-athletes, irrespective of the work we do.   Bernadette shares her story openly and vulnerably and inspires deeply. If you enjoyed this episode, please do subscribe on your favourite podcast app - and even better, leave a review, I would love to hear your feedback. As always, thanks for listening.  

Is there an idea you have been contemplating but haven't yet started? Hopefully this episode can help you to get started.    Very often we are not scared of starting, rather we are scared of the discomfort that comes with starting - the thoughts/concerns we attach too starting.    We must recognise that resistance is extremely high at the beginning, therefore we need to lower out expectations at the beginning in order to get started.    Let's not fail before starting.    If you think this episode could help someone you know, a friend, a colleague who you know has an idea that are inspired but but not sure where to start.    If you enjoyed this episode, please do subscribe on your favourite podcast app - and even better, leave a review, I would love to hear your feedback.   As always, thanks for listening.              

In today's episode I am discussing Judgement, a particular kind of judgement. Judgement towards people out there who are doing very meaningful work, making a positive difference in the lives of many people.    Let's get selective about what we engage with, the content we consume, the conversations we have - it all impacts how we show up in the world. If we are swimming in a sea of judgement then perhaps taking action, being vulnerable, trying new things will be more challenging.  If you enjoyed this episode, please do subscribe on your favourite podcast app - and even better, leave a review, I would love to hear your feedback.   As always, thanks for listening.            

In today's interview I speak with fellow coach, ex-colleague and friend Rebecca Morley, an award winning executive coach and mentor, working with senior leaders and business owners. After 12 years in corporate Rebecca decided to leave her very successful and safe career to pursue her own venture.  Rebecca shares with us some of the more challenging aspects of her transition from corporate to coaching, in a way that speaks to the heart of Rebecca's way of being, straight-talking, humorous and humble.  Despite having achieved incredible success within the corporate world, Rebecca came up against a whole new set of challenges in launching her own business.  A naturally competitive individual, she wanted to succeed quickly and found herself dealing with imposter syndrome and a lack of confidence.  This is a story of courage, to leave a very safe and successful career, to step back and take time redefine what success would mean to Rebecca in this new phase of her life.    If you enjoyed this episode, please do subscribe on your favourite podcast app - and even better, leave a review, I would love to hear your feedback.   As always, thanks for listening.    

"If you don't act on what you know, you will not get all that is potentially yours. Life rewards action it's just the way it works." (John Maxwell)    John recommends that you ask yourself this question if contemplating a particular action:  "Am I not taking action because it's not good for the situation or am I not taking action because it's not comfortable?"   Have there been opportunities you have missed because you haven't acted on time?    The Law of Diminishing Intent, a concept originated by Jim Rohn, says “The longer you wait to do something you should do now, the greater the odds that you will never actually do it.”   Seldom do we act too quickly - generally speaking we are looking to increase or bias for action.    There can be a misconception that you will "feel ready" to act however you won't always feel ready. Very often, the feeling follows the action.    Steven Pressfields captured this nicely when he said  "start before you're ready".    The power of action is something that I have experienced firsthand and I have had the pleasure of seeing it benefit my clients. I share with you a personal example of "starting before I felt ready".    Timing and Intuition are key when it comes to knowing when to act. Great leaders master these two things.    Is there something that you are contemplating, is there an action you've been pushing into the future? Are you waiting to feel ready? Are you over-preparing, over-thinking? What is the tiniest for of action you can take today to get started and begin to play with the power of action in your life?    Links: https://www.johnmaxwell.com/blog/dont-trip-over-these-growth-gaps/John Maxwell.    If you enjoyed this episode, please do subscribe on your favourite podcast app - and even better, leave a review, I would love to hear your feedback.   As always, thanks for listening.    

We all seek the approval from others to some extent. It is human nature, we all want to be liked, to be accepted, to be approved.  However, when our need to seek approval, to be liked, to be validated by others is greater than our need to live a life according to our own personal values and desire, it can really take from our lives.     

Social stability comes at the prize of wearing a mask, of learning to distance ourselves from our unique nature, from our personal desires, needs and feelings, instead, we embrace a socially acceptable self. [Reinventing Organisations] We all wear a mask, sometimes more than one.  What is a mask? Not showing up in our own skin, fitting in and conforming , afraid to speak up.   How do you know if you're wearing a man? Lots of different signals, some examples are: low energy, worrying, excessive questioning of yourself, dis-engaged, physical stress/pain, unfulfilled.  Think about a particular area of your life where you might be wearing a mask (at work, at home, a particular relationship.... What is the tiniest form of action you could take today to start to dissolve this mask? The goal of unmasking is not to seek validation from others, the reward is in the practice itself. There are so many benefits to being who it is we are, being authentic, living a life on our terms, on our values.  We connect with the the right people, the right work. We develop a natural sense of self-esteem and confidence because we recognise that we respect ourselves enough to be who it is we are.  The quote at the beginning of the podcast was taken from a book called Reinventing Organisations https://www.amazon.co.uk/Reinventing-Organizations-Creating-Inspired-Consciousness/dp/2960133501   Please do subscribe on your favourite podcast app - and even better, leave a review, I would love to hear your feedback.                           

Michael is on a lifelong mission to bring personal coaching to the awareness of as many people as possible. Over the last eights years, he has worked with around 400 men and women on a one-to-one basis. Michael has been interviewed on a number of TV channels, including the BBC and Sky News, and featured on Eamonn & Ruth: How The Other Half Lives and Made in Chelsea.  He's also been interviewed and written articles in magazines such as Forbes, GQ, The Observer, The Times, The Telegraph, Evening Standard, Metro, City Matters , H Edition, Square Mile, Mayfair Magazine , Spear's , City A.M., Arabian Business Magazine, Portfolio Magazine, Luxury Lifestyle Magazine, and High Living. Michael is in The Coaching Movie – the world's first full-length coaching documentary featuring the likes of Jack Canfield, John Demartini and John Gray. But why I really want to speak to Michael today is becuase I see in Michael someone who embodies the Courage to Be, someone who is dedicated to performing over conforming and someone who exudes moral courage Michael was my first coach and he was was instrumental in giving me the moral courage I needed to act. I often look back at the period of time and surprise myself by my courage. To move into this next phase, to have the courage to act before I felt ready, to face the discomfort that came with my decision to become a coach, was so much easier with Michael Serwa as my coach.  I am not the only one to be fascinated by the candor and the approach of Michael. He is a standout character in his field. Some key highlights  "There is a fine line between confidence and arrogance and I know I very much operate on that line." After a year and a half of coaching full-time Michael had an a-ha moment when he realised he was playing it too safe - no one criticised him. From here, Michael became the No Bullshit Coach that he is known for today. Michael didn't become someone he wasn't, rather he allowed his personality to come through in his coaching. If you create a personal brand that is clever, but not who you are at the core, it will likely fail - the market is smart. Michael always wanted to standout, be different and aim for greatness....“when you look at greatness in any line of work, in any industry in any field you don't get there by being like everyone else”. Michael shares a story about being a “failed jazz trumpet player”, when he discovered he could never be the best in the world he moved onto his next obsession. Michael is obsessed with what he does and tends to only work with clients who are obsessed too "in life we don't attract what we want we attract what we are". He expects his clients to be motivated, it is not within his interest to turn lazy people into motivated people. Michael talks to the Courage to Be: @19:00 and shares that matter how successful his clients are they still worry about what others are thinking about them.  In fact, Michael still cares about what people think, but the difference is he doesn't care enough to "edit" his behaviour. I am no longer going to be someone I am not just to please other people - a turning point Michael had at the age of 32 "When I find myself being criticised I remind myself that both Jesus and Gandhi had critics... as nice as I think I am, I think we all agree that Jesus and Gandhi were nicer." No matter what you do and who you are, there will be someone who has problem with you.  Michael refers to it as "'liberating" when we let go of our need to be liked.  When we live a life on our terms, in line with our own values, we connect with the right people, drawing on Kurt Cobain — 'I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not.' "Of course, I want people to like me, but I don't NEED it". The problem is if you NEED it - if you need that external validation. Michael tells his clients that if they feel so good about themselves they won't need that external validation. I don't think I am better than anyone, but I certainly don't think anyone is better than me I don't give you the power to offend me "I decide on my value, not you."  WARNING  - this episode occasionally contains bad language.  This interview was conducted online therefore there are a few quality issues. I do hope this doesn't take from your listening experience as Michael insights are everything I could hope to share with you on the Courage to Be theme.  You can find Michael on https://michaelserwa.com Please do subscribe on your favourite podcast app - and even better, leave a review, I would love to hear your feedback. 

Well here it is, launch day! In this episode I speak with the fabulous Elizabeth Cairns https://www.elizabethcairns.com on the Courage to Be concept and what it means for me.  I had originally planned on recording a solo episode, but in the true spirit of "The Courage to Be" I decided to show up script-free and single :)  I have definitely had to embody the Courage to Be concept in launching this podcast  - a novice to the podcasting world I've had to lean and move through much resistance, self-doubt, discomfort and more - but already I know it has been worth it.  I don't think that one introductory episode alone can really capture the essence of the "Courage to Be" but I think today's interviews from two high performing individuals will help us all see what's possible when we step beyond your comfort zone, lean into discomfort and fully embrace a life aligned with our values. Please do subscribe on your favourite podcast app - and even better, leave a review, I would love to hear your feedback. 

Today's guest is Xanthe Berkeley, a photographer, film maker, stop motion artist and visual story-teller.   From her beginnings in lifestyle portrait photography for families and women, to guiding and inspiring others to start making their own films, through her workshops and online film courses. Xanthe has worked with many leading UK brands, such as Boden, Cath Kidston, The White Company, Twinings, Penguin Books, Warner Music, Etsy UK to name just a few – creating films, stop motions and photos to be shared across their social media channels.  In today's conversation, we get straight to the crux of the Courage to Be and what that means to Xanthe. We hear how Xanthe, despite her success as a creative, still struggles with resistance and self-doubt but see these as merely part of the process and shares ways in which she moves through them.  Some key take-aways:  Being brave is a big part of being a creative.  You can have talent or skill but you have to be brave enough to share it with people, to experiment, to play and to try things out. With more experience comes more bravery. You now have evidence to show you that last time you left your comfort zone the rewards followed. You can begin to see the link between courage and reward.  One of her skills has been her capacity to move through resistance. "Even when your head is telling you that you're not good enough" you've got to move through it. The "who am I not to have a go" mindset has definitely worked for Xanthe.  Xanthe draws on Ira Glass both in her own work and in her teachings to hundreds of students around the world:  “Nobody tells this to people who are beginners, I wish someone told me. All of us who do creative work, we get into it because we have good taste. But there is this gap. For the first couple years you make stuff, it's just not that good. It's trying to be good, it has potential, but it's not. But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, is still killer. And your taste is why your work disappoints you. A lot of people never get past this phase, they quit. Most people I know who do interesting, creative work went through years of this." When you first start out you know that what you're doing is not as good as what you see out there (be that on on Pinterest, instagram etc) but that doesn't mean you stop, you have to use that as an incentive to get better and to keep practicing and keep trying. You can't expect to be brilliant straight away, it's about putting the work in.... “Keep going, keep creating, keep doing and keep practicing..." For creatives who want to go from part-time creative work to full-time - it is simple - "keep doing the work". Create don't wait. Start doing the work you want to do today. Don't wait for an email from that ideal client. Xanthe shares a great story of this as it relates to her work with leading UK brand Boden. Test and learn is key, let things grow organically through play and experiment. She now trusts that things will work out - the evidence has shown her that she always finds a way.  "I wish someone told me resistance and self doubt are never going to away!"  However, self-doubt and resistance are just thoughts and you can push them aside.  Try it ,give it a go, believe in yourself and know that the self doubt is there but don't let it stop you.  We are always working towards getting better   - "when I look at some of the first films that I made I think oh my goodness they are a disaster but at the time they were good enough". Xanthe talks to the natural ebb and flow of being a creative and shares her experience of launching an e-course that didn't take off, explaining how awful it felt at the time but how it was really just another contributor of her growth today. "Not everything works, you can't be a creative and be a human and everything you do is amazing. You need the little failures to make you human" I do hope you enjoy this conversation as much as I did, what a inspirational, colourful, humble human - thank you Xanthe x   You'll find Xanthe on https://www.xantheberkeley.com/about-me/ or follow her on instragram for daily inspiration,  fun and colour https://instagram.com/xantheb?igshid=1ss7ox4jqhc48 Please do subscribe on your favourite podcast app - and even better, leave a review, I would love to hear your feedback.  Oh and, we recommended and referenced the wonderful Steven Pressfield, check out his books  https://www.amazon.co.uk/War-Art-Through-Creative-Battles/dp/1936891026 https://www.amazon.co.uk/Turning-Pro-Inner-Power-Create/dp/1936891034    

My first guest on the Courage to Be podcast is Pat Lam - Director of Rugby for the Bristol Bears. https://www.bristolbearsrugby.com/teams/rugby-management/pat-lam/ A Samoan international during his playing days, Pat won the 1997-98 Premiership with Newcastle Falcons and the 2000 Heineken Cup as captain of Northampton Saints. He spent five years as head coach of Auckland and four years as Head Coach of Blues Super Rugby.  While Pat's background is in professional rugby, he offers up some valuable insights for leaders of all industries, as well individuals who are passionate about improving their performance and raising their game.  It doesn't take long in Pat's company to see how much his previous calling as school teacher has influenced his current career and success within professional rugby - a natural contributor and leader.  Some key take-aways from the interview: Pat was brought up in New Zealand and sport has always been a big part of his life - "realising that self-esteem is built from when you're successful at things" Pat got a lot of his recognition and self-esteem through sport.  Pat has grabbed hold of John Wooden's philosophy "success is peace of mind, which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you made the effort to become the best of which you are capable".  Allowing others to determine our success is risky, instead we must establish our own yardstick for success - internal validation is key. "I got away from outcome focus and really started to talk about process and what I can control and what I can do as a person, as a player and certainly as a coach and partner". Pat asks himself these two questions in everything he does "what have I done well and what can I do better?" Good times will never change your character.  Life will keep throwing us similar challenges until we learn from them.  Tough times can be painful but if we can see the opportunity for growth in every situation it enables us to accept or move through that pain more easily.  Sport can conjure up the most unlikely of fairytales and Pat certainly has one to tell... In 2012, after 4 years in Super Rugby, Pat was sacked as head coach of the Blues in his home town of Auckland.  Getting sacked from Auckland was a major marker of growth for Pat  - he got to join some of the coaches he aspired to be because all of them have lost their jobs at some stage. This was the year that Pat made the biggest growth as a coach and the year that gave him absolute clarity for moving forward driving his new philosophy based around clarity of vision, leadership and culture - three pillars which played a huge role in Pat success with Connaught Rugby when he joined the club in 2013  Pat quickly rebuilt his reputation by taking charge of Ireland's traditional underdog battlers. Connaught became Pro12 champions to secure their first major trophy for 112 years. Whenever Pat is approached about a job, his first question is "what the vision is" as this is the foundation from which Pat operates. Pat's equation that works in sport or business: the vision drives the leadership - leadership drives the culture - culture drives the performance.  Before signing players Pat looks not only at their rugby ability but their character, their coach-ability and their hunger to succeed based on a dream. It has to be more than a job and this outlook is relevant across all industries.   The most difficult part of the job is moving people on and player selection, but all of these decisions are made easier when linked by to the vision - it is not personal - the focus is performance.  Pat places a huge emphasis on relationships - genuine relationship building forms the foundation of any team - not just sports teams. It underpins a players capacity to perform on the field under pressure as well as their willingness to engage in the decision making process and their capacity to solicit feedback.  Pat talks to the strategies he uses to facilitate feedback and to help players have a voice - for example allowing the larger group to break away into smaller groups as people are more likely to share a "group opinion" than an individual opinion.  Stepping in to "do the right thing" could have a big impact on someone lives. A big turning point for Pat was "having that courage of accepting who I am, and knowing that I am someone who can make a positive difference". Only 8% of what we worry about comes true. Pat advice is "you are special - there is no one else out there like you". Pat shares an interesting exercise on "focus"  - explaining that what we focus on has a profound effect on how we show up:  When you focus on negative comments you can't achieve and you can't move forward  Focus on the people that love and support - this is the energy that's needed to move us forward and drive performance.  There's enough negativity out there  - you can't change that but you can change what you focus on.  I do hope enjoy this conversation as much as I did.  Please do subscribe, then rate and review on your favourite podcast app.

Welcome to the Courage to Be podcast