Podcasts about Carl Rogers

It's time to breakup with watered-down content and instead, ask our people to rise with us.In this episode, I announce the podcast rebrand (finally!), why I'm going all-in on 2-3 episodes per week, and what happens when you delete social apps from your phone for just ONE week. Spoiler: total clarity.I dive deep into why Rosalía's Lux, Sinners, and Heated Rivalry are proof that audiences are STARVING for work that challenges them — and why we need to stop underestimating people's capacity to pay attention.Plus: why "the more we are in the era of dopamine, the more I want the opposite" is my new creative north star, and how I'm building SUPERNOVA as a thinking lab where we synthesize obsessions into worldviews that actually move culture.Snippets from this episode:The podcast rebrand: After 8 years, I'm retiring "In My Non-Expert Opinion" because it was a shield I no longer need. I'm ready to own my voice, go full throttle, and podcast 2-3x/week.Deleting social apps = instant brain space - I took the apps off my phone for one week and the clarity was WILD. Ideas landed, brain fog lifted, and I realized: why am I not treating online platforms like contract jobs instead of letting them scatter my attention 24/7?Rosalía, Sinners, and Heated Rivalry are giving us credit to pay attention - These aren't light, bubblegum experiences. Rosalía dropped an album in 14 languages with the London Symphony Orchestra. Sinners demand you clock in to catch the symbolism. Heated Rivalry became a global phenomenon not because "the guys are hot," but because it shows radical intimacy and vulnerability on screen.We connect through challenge, not just agreement - Rosalía didn't water down Lux for mass appeal; she asked us to rise with her. The most powerful connection happens when artists challenge us to expand our capacity."What is most personal is most universal" - Carl Rogers said it, and Heated Rivalry proves it. We're obsessed because we see ourselves in the yearning, the walls, the avoidance. When you dig into YOUR inner treasure chest and build a captivating world, people will leave their old ones behind to join you.Question of the week: Why do we say "pay attention"? Email me at team@chelseariffe.com or DM me @chelseariffe with your thoughts.This episode is fueled by FOOTNOTES, my newsletter filled with rabbit holes, synthesis, questions and more.Connect with Chelsea:

Episode Notes This week on Live Like the World is Dying, we have another re-run episode. Margaret and Smokey talk about ways to go about mental first aid, how to alter responses to trauma for you self and as a community, different paths to resiliency, and why friendship and community are truly the best medicine. Host Info Margaret can be found on twitter @magpiekilljoy or instagram at @margaretkilljoy. Publisher Info This show is published by Strangers in A Tangled Wilderness. We can be found at www.tangledwilderness.org, or on Twitter @TangledWild and Instagram @Tangled_Wilderness. You can support the show on Patreon at www.patreon.com/strangersinatangledwilderness. Transcript LLWD:Smokey on Mental First Aid Margaret 00:15 Hello and welcome to Live Like the World is Dying, your podcast are what feels like the end times. I'm your host, Margaret killjoy. And, this week or month...or let's just go with 'episode'. This episode is going to be all about mental health and mental health first aid and ways to take care of your mental health and ways to help your community and your friends take care of their mental health, and I think you'll like it. But first, this podcast is a proud member of the Channel Zero network of anarchists podcasts. And here's a jingle from another show on the network. Margaret 01:52 Okay, with me today is Smokey. Smokey, could you introduce yourself with your your name, your pronouns, and I guess a little bit about your background about mental health stuff? Smokey 02:04 Sure, I'm Smokey. I live and work in New York City. My pronouns are 'he' and 'him.' For 23 years, I've been working with people managing serious mental illness in an intentional community, I have a degree in psychology, I have taught psychology at the University level, I have been doing social work for a long time, but I've been an anarchist longer. Margaret 02:43 So so the reason I want to have you on is I want to talk about mental health first aid, or I don't know if that's the way it normally gets expressed, but that's the way I see it in my head. Like how are...I guess it's a big question, but I'm interested in exploring ways that we can, as bad things happen that we experience, like some of the best practices we can do in order to not have that cause lasting mental harm to us. Which is a big question. But maybe that's my first question anyway. Smokey 03:12 I mean, the, the truth is bad things will happen to us. It's part of living in the world, and if you are a person that is heavily engaged in the world, meaning, you know, you're involved in politics, or activism, or even just curious about the world, you will probably be exposed on a more regular basis to things that are bad, that can traumatize us. But even if you're not involved in any of those things, you're going to go through life and have really difficult things happen to you. Now, the good news is, that's always been the case for people. We've always done this. And the good news is, we actually know a lot about what goes into resilience. So, how do you bounce back quickly and hopefully thrive after these experiences? I think that is an area that's only now being really examined in depth. But, we have lots of stories and some research to show that actually when bad things happen to us, there is an approach that actually can help catalyst really impressive strength and move...change our life in a really positive direction. We also know that for most people, they have enough reserve of resiliency that....and they can draw upon other resiliency that they're not chronically affected by it, however, and I would argue how our society is kind of structured, we're seeing more and more people that are suffering from very serious chronic effects of, what you said, bad things happening, or what is often traumatic things but it's not just traumatic things that cause chronic problems for us. But, that is the most kind of common understanding so, so while most people with most events will not have a chronic problem, and you can actually really use those problems, those I'm sorry, those events, let's call them traumatic events, those traumatic events they'll really actually improve your thriving, improve your life and your relationship to others in the world. The fact is, currently, it's an ever growing number of people that are having chronic problems. And that's because of the system. Margaret 06:19 Yeah, there's this like, there was an essay a while ago about it, I don't remember it very well, but it's called "We Are Also Very Anxious," and it it was claiming that anxiety is one of the general affects of society today, because of kind of what you're talking about, about systems that set us up to be anxious all the time and handle things in... Smokey 06:42 I think what most people don't understand is, it is consciously, in the sense that it's not that necessarily it's the desire to have the end goal of people being anxious, and people being traumatized, but it is conscious in that we know this will be the collateral outcome of how we set up the systems. That I think is fairly unique and and really kind of pernicious. Margaret 07:17 What are some of the systems that are setting us up to be anxious or traumatized? Smokey 07:23 Well, I'm gonna reverse it a little bit, Margaret. I'm going to talk about what are the things we need to bounce back or have what has been called 'resilience,' and then you and I can explore how our different systems actually make us being able to access that much more difficult. Margaret 07:47 Okay. Oh, that makes sense. Smokey 07:49 The hallmark of resiliency, ironically, is that it's not individual. Margaret 07:57 Okay. Smokey 07:57 In fact, if you look at the research, there are very few, there's going to be a couple, there's gonna be three of them, but very few qualities of an individual psychology or makeup that is a high predictor of resiliency. Margaret 08:20 Okay. Smokey 08:21 And these three are kind of, kind of vague in the sense they're not, they're not terribly dramatic, in a sense. One is, people that tend to score higher on appreciation of humor, tends to be a moderate predictor of resiliency. Margaret 08:46 I like that one. Smokey 08:47 You don't have to be funny yourself. But you can appreciate humor. Seems to be a....and this is tends to be a cross cultural thing. It's pretty low. There are plenty of people that that score very low on that, that also have resiliency. That's the other thing, I'll say that these three personality traits are actually low predictors of resiliency. Margaret 09:13 Compared to the immunity ones that you're gonna talk about? Smokey 09:16 So one is appreciation of humor seems to be one. So, these are intrinsic things that, you know, maybe we got from our family, but but we hold them in ourselves, right? The second one is usually kind of put down as 'education.' And there tends to be a reverse bell curve. If you've had very, very low education, you tend to be more resilient. If you've had extreme professionalization, you know, being a doctor, being a lawyer, well, not even being a lawyer, because that's the only...but many, many years of schooling, PhD things like that, it's not what you study. There's something about... Smokey 10:10 Yeah, or that you didn't. They're almost equal predictors of who gets traumatized. And then the the last one is kind of a 'sense of self' in that it's not an ego strength as we kind of understand it, but it is an understanding of yourself. The people that take the surveys, that they score fairly high....So I give you a survey and say, "What do you think about Smokey on these different attributes?" You give me a survey and say, "Smokey, how would you rate yourself on these different attributes?" Margaret 10:11 It's that you studied. Margaret 10:32 Okay. Smokey 10:59 So, it's suggesting that I have some self-reflexivity about what my strengths and weaknesses are. I can only know that because they're married by these also. Margaret 11:11 Okay. So it's, it's not about you rating yourself high that makes you resilient, it's you rating yourself accurately tohow other people see you. Smokey 11:18 And again, I want to stress that these are fairly low predictors. Now, you'll read a million books, kind of pop like, or the, these other ones. But when you actually look at the research, it's not, you know, it's not that great. So those..however, the ones that are big are things like 'robustness of the social network.' So how many relations and then even more, if you go into depth, 'what are those relationships' and quantity does actually create a certain level of quality, interestingly, especially around things called 'micro-social interactions,' which are these interactions that we don't even think of as relationships, maybe with storepersons, how many of these we have, and then certain in depth, having that combined with a ring of kind of meaningful relationships. And meaningful meaning not necessarily who is most important to me, but how I share and, and share my emotions and my thoughts and things like that. So, there's a lot on that. That is probably the strongest predictor of resilience. Another big predictor of resilience is access to diversity in our social networks. So, having diverse individuals tend to give us more resiliency, and having 'time,' processing time, also gives us more...are high predictors of resiliency, the largest is a 'sense of belonging.' Margaret 13:14 Okay. Smokey 13:15 So that trauma...events that affect our sense of belonging, and this is why children who have very limited opportunities to feel a sense of belonging, which are almost always completely limited, especially for very young children to the family, if that is cut off due to the trauma, or it's already dysfunctional and has nothing to do with the trauma, that sense of belonging, that lack of sense of belonging makes it very difficult to maintain resilience. So. So those are the things that, in a nutshell, we're going to be talking about later about 'How do we improve these?' and 'How do we maximize?' And 'How do we leverage these for Mental Health First Aid?' We can see how things like the internet, social media, capitalism, you know, kind of nation state building, especially as we understand it today, all these kinds of things errode a lot of those things that we would want to see in building resilient people. Margaret 14:28 Right. Smokey 14:28 And, you know, making it more difficult to access those things that we would need. Margaret 14:34 No, that's...this...Okay, yeah, that makes it obvious that the answer to my question of "What are the systems that deny us resiliency?" are just all of this. Yeah, because we're like....most people don't have...there's that really depressing statistic or the series of statistics about the number of friends that adults have in our society, and how it keeps going down every couple of decades. Like, adults just have fewer and fewer friends. And that... Smokey 15:00 The number, the number is the same for children, though too. Margaret 15:05 Is also going down, is what you're saying? Smokey 15:07 Yes. They have more than adults. But compared to earlier times, they have less. So, the trend is not as steep as a trendline. But, but it is still going down. And more importantly, there was a big change with children at one point, and I'm not sure when it historically happened. But, the number of people they interacted with, was much more diverse around age. Margaret 15:39 Oh, interesting. Smokey 15:40 So they had access to more diversity. Margaret 15:43 Yeah, yeah. When you talk about access to diversity, I assume that's diversity in like a lot of different axis, right? I assume that's diversity around like people's like cultural backgrounds, ethnic backgrounds, age. Like, but even like... Smokey 15:56 Modes of thought. Margaret 15:58 Yeah, well, that's is my guess, is that if you're around more people, you have more of an understanding that like, reality is complicated, and like different people see things in different ways. And so therefore, you have a maybe a less rigid idea of what should happen. So, then if something happens outside of that, you're more able to cope, or is this...does... like, because I look at each of these things and I can say why I assume they affect resiliency, but obviously, that's not what you're presenting, you're not presenting how they affect resiliency, merely that they seem to? Smokey 16:34 Yeah, and I don't know, if we know exactly how they affect, and we don't know how they...the effect of them together, you know, social sciences, still pretty primitive. So they, they need to look at single variables, often. But you know, we know with chemistry and biology and ecology, which I think are a little more sophisticated...and physics, which is more sophisticated. The real interesting stuff is in the combinations. Margaret 17:09 Yeah. Okay. Smokey 17:10 So what happens when you have, you know, diversity, but also this diverse and robust social network? Is that really an addition? Or is that a multiplication moment? For resiliency. Margaret 17:23 Right. And then how does that affect like, if that comes at the expense of...well, it probably wouldn't, but if it came at the expense of processing time or something. Smokey 17:33 Exactly. Margaret 17:35 Or, like, you know, okay, I could see how it would balance with education in that, like, I think for a lot of people the access to diversity that they encounter first is like going off to college, right, like meeting people from like, different parts of the world, or whatever. Smokey 17:49 I forgot to mention one other one, but it is, 'meaning.' Meaning is very important. People that score high, or report, meaning deep, kind of core meaning also tend to have higher resiliency. That being said, they...and don't, don't ever confuse resiliency with like, happiness or contentment. It just means that the dysfunction or how far you're knocked off track due to trauma, and we're, we're using trauma in the larger sense of the word, you know, how long it takes you to get back on track, or whether you can even get back on track to where you were prior to the event is what we're talking about. So it's not, this is not a guide to happiness or living a fulfilled life. It's just a guide to avoid the damage. Margaret 19:01 But if we made one that was a specifically a 'How to have a happy life,' I feel like we could sell it and then have a lot of money.Have you considered that? [lauging] Smokey 19:11 Well one could argue whether that's even desirable to have a happy life. That's a whole philosophical thing. That's well beyond my paygrade Margaret 19:22 Yeah, every now and then I have this moment, where I realized I'm in this very melancholy mood, and I'm getting kind of kind of happy about it. And I'm like, "Oh, I'm pretty comfortable with this. This is a nice spot for me." I mean, I also like happiness, too, but you know. Okay, so, this certainly implies that the, the way forward for anyone who's attempting to build resiliency, the sort of holistic solution is building community. Like in terms of as bad stuff happens. Is that... Smokey 19:58 Community that's...and community not being just groups. Okay, so you can, I think, you know, the Internet has become an expert at creating groups. There lots of groups. But community, or communitas or the sense of belonging is more than just a shared interest and a shared knowledge that there's other like-minded people. You'll hear the internet was great for like minded people to get together. But, the early internet was really about people that were sharing and creating meaning together. And I think that was very powerful. That, you know, that seems harder to access on today's Internet, and certainly the large social media platforms are consciously designed to achieve certain modes of experience, which do not lend themselves to that. Margaret 21:06 Right, because it's like the...I don't know the word for this. Smokey 21:10 It's Capitalism. Like, yeah, we're hiding the ball. The ball is Capitalism. Margaret 21:14 Yeah. Smokey 21:14 And how they decided to go with an advertising model as opposed to any other model, and that requires attention. Margaret 21:21 Yeah. Because it seems like when you talk about a robust social network, I mean, you know, theoretically, social network, like social networks, you know, Twitter calls itself a social network, right? And is there anything in the micro social interactions that one has online? Is there value in that? Or do you think that the overall...I mean, okay, because even like looking at... Smokey 21:46 I think there has to be value, I think, yeah, they did. I was reading just today, actually, about research, it was in England, with...this one hospital decided to send postcards to people who had been hospitalized for suicidal attempts. Margaret 22:09 Okay. Smokey 22:10 Most of them ended up in the mental health thing, some of them didn't, because they they left beyond, you know, against medical advice, or whatever. But, anyone that came in presenting with that a month, and then three months later, they sent another postcard just saying, "You know, we're all thinking about you, we're hoping you're all you're doing, alright. We have faith in you," that kind of thing like that, right. Nice postcard, purposely chosen to have a nice scene, sent it out. And they followed up, and they found a significant reduction in further attempts, rehospitalizations of these people, so that's a very, you know, there's no, it's a one way communication, it's not person-to-person, and it had some impact on I would guess one could argue the resiliency of those people from giving into suicidal ideation. Right. Margaret 23:13 Yeah. Smokey 23:14 So I think this is to say that, you know, we'd be...unplugging the internet, you know, that kind of Luddite approach doesn't make sense. There is a value to answer your question to the the internet's micro social interactions. It's just we...it's complicated, because you can't just have micro-social interactions unfortunately, but you need them. Margaret 23:44 Yeah. No, that that's really interesting to me, because yeah, so there's, there is a lot of value that is coming from these things, but then the overall effect is this like, like, for example, even like access to diversity, right? In a lot of ways, theoretically, the Internet gives you access to like everything. But then, instead, it's really designed to create echo chambers in the way that the algorithms and stuff feed people information. And echo chambers of thought is the opposite of diversity, even if the echo chamber of thought is like about diversity. Smokey 24:16 Yeah, I mean, it's set up again, almost as if it were to kind of naturally organically grow, we would probably have just as chaotic and and people would still just be as angry at the Internet, but it probably would develop more resilience in people. Because it wouldn't be stunted by this need to attract attention. The easiest way to do that is through outrage. Easiest way to do that is quickly and fast, so it takes care of your processing time. And relative anonymity is the coin of these kinds of things, you know, that's why bots and things like that, you know, they're not even humans, right? You know, they're just...so all these kinds of things stunt and deform, what could potentially be useful, not a silver bullet, and certainly not necessary to develop resiliency, strong resiliency. You don't need the internet to do that. And there are certain...using the internet, you know, there's going to be certain serious limitations because of the design, how it's designed. Margaret 25:42 Okay, well, so hear me out. If the internet really started coming in latter half of the 20th century, that kind of lines up to when cloaks went out of style.... Smokey 25:54 Absolutely, that's our big problem. And they haven't done any research on cloak and resiliency. Margaret 26:00 I feel that everyone who wears a cloak either has a sense of belonging, or a distinct lack of a sense of belonging. Probably start off with a lack of sense of belonging, but you end up with a sense of belonging So, okay, okay. Smokey 26:15 So I want to say that there's two things that people confuse and a very important. One, is how to prevent chronic effects from traumatic experiences. And then one is how to take care of, if you already have or you you develop a chronic effect of traumatic experiences. Nothing in the psychology literature, sociology literature, anthropology literature, obviously, keeps you from having traumatic experiences. Margaret 26:52 Right. Smokey 26:54 So one is how to prevent it from becoming chronic, and one is how to deal with chronic and they're not the same, they're quite, quite different. So you know, if you already have a chronic traumatic response of some sort, post traumatic stress syndrome, or any of the other related phenomena, you will approach that quite differently than building resilience, which doesn't protect you from having trauma, a traumatic experience. It just allows you to frame it, understand it, maybe if you're lucky, thrive and grow from it. But at worst, get you back on track in not having any chronic problems. Margaret 27:48 Okay, so it seems like there's three things, there's the holistic, building a stronger base of having a community, being more resilient in general. And then there's the like direct first aid to crisis and trauma, and then there's the long term care for the impacts of trauma. Okay, so if so, we've talked a bit about the holistic part of it, you want to talk about the the crisis, the thing to do in the immediate sense as it's happening or whatever? Smokey 28:15 For yourself or for somebody else? Margaret 28:18 Let's start with self. Smokey 28:20 So, self is go out and connect to your social network as much as you can, which is the opposite of what your mind and body is telling you. And that's why I think so much of the quote unquote, "self-care" movement is so wrong. You kind of retreat from your social network, things are too intense, I'm going to retreat from your social network. The research suggests that's the opposite of what you should be doing, you should connect. Now, if you find yourself in an unenviable situation where you don't have a social network, then you need to connect to professionals, because they, they can kind of fill in for that social Network. Therapists, social workers, peer groups, support groups, things like that they can kind of fill in for that. The problem is you don't have that sense of belonging. Well, with support groups, you might. You see this often in AA groups or other support groups. You don't really get that in therapy or or group therapy so much. But that is the first thing and so connect to your group. Obviously on the other side, if you're trying to help your community, your group, you need to actively engage that person who has been traumatized. Margaret 29:33 Yeah, okay. Smokey 29:35 And it's going to be hard. And you need to keep engaging them and engaging them in what? Not distractions: Let's go to a movie, get some ice cream, let's have a good time. And not going into the details of the traumatic experience so much as reconnecting them to the belonging, our friendship, if that. Our political movement, if that. Our religious movement, if that. Whatever that...whatever brought you two together. And that could be you being the community in this person, or could be you as Margaret in this person connecting on that, doubling down on that, and often I see people do things like, "Okay, let's do some self care, or let's, let's do the opposite of whatever the traumatic experience was," if it came from, say oppression, either vicarious or direct through political involvement let's, let's really connect on a non-political kind of way. Margaret 31:19 Ah I see! Smokey 31:21 And I'm saying, "No, you should double down on the politics," reminding them of right what you're doing. Not the trauma necessarily not like, "Oh, remember when you got beaten up, or your, your significant other got arrested or got killed by the police," but it's connecting to meaning, and bringing the community together. Showing the resiliency of the community will vicariously and contagiously affect the individual. And again, doesn't have to be political could be anything. Margaret 32:01 Yeah. Is that? How does that that feels a little bit like the sort of 'get right back on the horse kind of thing.' But then like, in terms of like, socially, rather than, because we 'get back on the horse,' might mean might imply, "Oh, you got beat up at a riot. So go out to the next riot." And that's what you're saying instead is so "Involve you in the fundraising drive for the people who are dealing with this including you," or like... Smokey 32:28 And allowing an expectation that the individual who's been traumatized, might be having a crisis of meaning. And allowing that conversation, to flow and helping that person reconnect to what they found meaningful to start with. So getting right back on the horse again, it's reminding them why they love horses. Margaret 33:02 Yeah. Okay, that makes sense. Okay, I have another question about the the crisis first aid thing, because there's something that, you know, something that you talked to me about a long time ago, when I was working on a lot of like reframing. I was working on coping with trauma. And so maybe this actually relates instead to long term care for trauma. And I, I thought of this as a crisis first aid kind of thing, is I'll use a like, low key example. When I was building my cabin, I'm slightly afraid of heights, not terribly, but slightly. And so I'm on a ladder in the middle of nowhere with no one around and I'm like climbing up the ladder, and I'm nailing in boards. And I found myself saying, "Oh, well, I only have three more boards. And then I'm done. I can get off the ladder. "And then I was like, "No, what I need to do is say, it's actually fine, I am fine. And I can do this," rather than like counting down until I can get off the ladder. And so this is like a way that I've been working on trying to build resiliency, you can apply this to lots of things like if I'm on an airplane, and I'm afraid of flying or something I can, instead of being like, "Five more hours and then we're there. Four more hours and then we're there," instead of being like, "It's actually totally chill that I'm on an airplane. This is fine." And basically like telling myself that to reframe that. Is this....Am I off base with this? Is this tie into this, there's just a different framework? Smokey 34:27 That is what the individual should be trying to do is connect the three different things, keeping it simple. One, is to the community which gives them nourishment. On a plane or on your roof, that's not going to happen. Margaret 34:44 Yeah. Smokey 34:45 Though, actually, to be honest. If you're nervous and you have...go back to your roof example, which I think is a pretty good one. Let's say that you had more than three boards. Let's say it was gonna take you a couple hours to do that. But it's something you're nervous about, connecting to somebody in your social network, whether you, you have your earphones on, and you're just talking to them before or during...after doesn't help. That does one way. Or the other is connecting to what you were doing, which is connecting to kind of reframing or your own internal resilience. I've done something similar like this before. This is not something that is going to need to throw me, it is what's called pocketing the anxiety. Margaret 35:45 Okay. Smokey 35:45 Where you're other-izing it, being like, it's coming from you too, right? being like, "Hey, you could fall. This plane could go down," right? That that's still you, you're generating that. You're not hearing that over to, and you're saying, "Okay, but I'm going to try, you know, give primacy to this other voice in my head. That is saying, "You've got this, it's all right, you've done things like this before."" So that's the second thing. And that's what you were doing. So you could connect to your community, you could connect to kind of a reserve of resiliency. And to do that is allow that one to be pocketed. But be like, "Hey, I want to hear from what this core thing has to say. I want to hear from what the positive person on the front row has to say." You're not arguing with that one. You're just listening. You're changing your, your, what you're attuned to. And then the third one is, if you can, you connect to the meaning. What is the meaning of building the house for you? Where are you going on your flight? And why is it important? Margaret 37:03 Yeah. Okay, Smokey 37:05 And that anxiety and the fact that you're doing it, you want to give again, the primacy to the importance, that "Yeah, I'm really nervous, I'm really freaked out about this, but this thing is so important, or so good for me, or so healthy for me to do this. This must mean it's going to be really important. And I'm connecting to why it's important and focusing on that. So those are the three things that the individual can do. The helping person or community is engagement. The second one is the same, reconnecting to the meaning. Why did you love horses in the first place? Okay, don't have to get back on the horse. But let's not forget horses are awesome. Margaret 37:58 Yeah. Smokey 37:58 And Horseback riding is awesome. Margaret 38:01 Yeah. Smokey 38:01 And you were really good at it before you got thrown. But you know, you don't have to do it now, but let's, let's just let's just share our love of horses for a moment and see how that makes you feel. And then the third one is that kind of drawing upon, instead of drawing upon the individual resilience, which you were doing, like, "Hey, I got this," or the plane, you know, you were, you're hearing from other people, you're drawing upon their individual resilience. "Smokey, tell me about the time you did this thing that was hard." And I tell ya, you're like, "Well, Smokey can fucking do that I can do it. You don't even think...it doesn't even work necessarily consciously. Margaret 38:50 Right. Smokey 38:51 So you could see that what you're doing individually, the helper or the community is doing complementary. Margaret 38:59 Yeah. Smokey 39:00 And now you can see why a lot of self care narrative, a lot of taking a break a lot of burnout narrative, all these things, at best aren't going to help you and at worst, in my opinion, are kind of counterproductive. Margaret 39:17 Well, and that's the, to go to the, you know, working on my roof thing I think about...because I've had some success with this. I've had some success where I....there's certain fears that I have, like, suppressed or something like I've stopped being as afraid of...the fear is no longer a deciding factor in my decision making, because of this kind of reframing this kind of like, yeah, pocketing like...And it's probably always useful to have the like, I don't want to reframe so completely that I just walk around on a roof all the time, without paying attention to what I'm doing, right?Because people do that and then they fall and the reason that there's a reason that roofing is one of the most dangerous jobs in America. So a, I don't know I yeah, I, I appreciate that, that you can do that. And then if it's a thing you're going to keep doing anyway, it becomes easier if you start handling it like, carefully, you know? Smokey 40:17 Well, you don't want to give it too much. So why do we? Why is it natural for us to take anxiety or fear and focus on it? It's somewhat evolutionary, right? It's a threat, right? It's supposed to draw your attention, right? It's supposed to draw your attention. And if you're not careful, it will draw your attention away from other things that are quieter that like that resiliency in the front row you need to call on, because they're not as flashy, right? So I don't think you have to worry about threat....You're right. You don't want to get to the point where you and that's why I say 'pocket it,' as opposed to 'deny it, suppress it, argue with it. demolish it.' I think it's good to have that little, "Beep, beep, beep there's a threat," and then being like, "Okay, but I want to continue to do this. Let's hear from resiliency in the front row. What? What do you have to tell me too?" You have to not...what happens is we go into the weeds of the threat. Oh, so what? "Oh, I fall off and I compound fracture, and I'm way out here in the woods, and no one's going to get me. My phone isn't charged." That's not what the original beep was. Original beep like, "You're high up on a ladder, seems unstable. This seems sketchy," right? Okay. Got that. And then resilience is, "Yeah, you've done lots of sketchy stuff. You've written in the back of a pickup truck. That's sketchy, so seatbelt there, nothing, you know, let me remind you that that you can overcome." And, but by going into the anxiety, going into the fear, you're forcing yourself to justify the thing. And then it becomes more and more elaborate, and it gets crazier and crazier very quickly. You know, all of sudden, you're bleeding out and you're cutting your leg off with a pen knife. It's like, "Wow, how did all this happen?" Margaret 42:38 Yeah, well, and that's actually something that comes up a lot in terms of people interacting with the show and about like preparedness in general. Because in my mind, the point of paying attention to how to deal with forest fire while I live in the woods, is not to then spend all of my time fantasizing and worrying about forest fire. But instead, to compare it to this ladder, if I get this "Beep, beep, the ladder is unstable." I climb down, I stabilize the ladder as best as I can. And then I climb back up and I do the thing. And then when I think about like, with fire, I'm like, "Okay, I have done the work to minimize the risk of fire. And so now I can stop thinking about it." Like, I can listen to the little beep, beep noise and do the thing. And now I can ignore the beep beep because just like literally, when you're backing up a truck and it goes beep, beep, you're like, yeah, no, I know, I'm backing up. Thanks. You know, like, Smokey 43:35 Yeah, it's good to know, it's good to know, you're not going forward. Margaret 43:39 Yeah, no. No, okay. That's interesting. And then the other thing that's really interesting about this, the thing that you're presenting, is it means that in some ways, work that we present as very individual in our society, even in radical society, is actually community based on this idea, like so conquering phobias is something that we help one another do, it seems like, Smokey 44:02 Absolutely. I mean, the best stuff on all this stuff is that people reverse engineering it to make people do dangerous, bad things. The military. Margaret 44:18 Yeah, they're probably pretty good at getting people to conquer phobias. Yep. Smokey 44:21 They have a great sense of belonging. They have a great sense of pulling in internal resilient, group resilient, connecting to meaning even when it's absolutely meaningless what you're doing. It's all the dark side of what we're talking about, but it's quite effective and it literally wins wars. Margaret 44:47 Yeah, that makes sense. Because you have this whole... Smokey 44:50 Literally it changes history. And so, the good news is, we can kind of reclaim that for what I think it was originally purposed to do, which is to protect us from the traumas that we had to go through in our evolutionary existence. So we couldn't afford to have a whole bunch of us chronically disabled. Meaning unable to function, you know, they've just taken it and, and bent it a little bit, and learned very deeply about it, how to how to use it for the things that really cause, you know, physical death and injury. And, and, you know, obviously, they're not perfect, you have a lot of trauma, but not, not as much as you would expect for what they do. And every year they get better and better. Margaret 45:51 Hooray. Smokey 45:53 We have to get on top of our game. Margaret 45:56 Yeah. Smokey 45:57 And get people not to do what they do. I'm not suggesting reading...well maybe reading military, but not...you can't use those tools to make people truly free and resilient. Margaret 46:17 Yeah. Smokey 46:18 In the healthy kind of way. Yeah. Margaret 46:22 Okay, so in our three things, there's the holistic, prepared resiliency thing, then there's the immediate, the bad thing is happening first aid. Should we talk about what to do when the thing has, when you have the like, the injury, the mental injury of the trauma? Smokey 46:42 Like with most injuries, it's rehab, right? Margaret 46:45 Yeah. No, no, you just keep doing the thing, and then hope it fixes itself. [laughs] Smokey 46:53 My approach to most medical oddities that happen as I get older, it's like, "It'll fix itself, this tooth will grow back, right? The pain will go away, right?" Yeah, just like physical rehab, it does require two important aspects for all physical, what we think of when someone says I have to go to rehab, physical rehab, not not alcohol rehab, or psych rehab, is that there's two things that are happening. One, is a understanding, a deep understanding of the injury, often not by the person, but by the physical therapist. Right? That if they know, okay, this is torn meniscus, or this is this and I, okay, so I understand the anatomy, I understand the surgery that happened. Okay. And then the second is, short term, not lifelong therapy, not lifelong this or that. Short term techniques to usually strengthen muscles and other joints and things around the injury. Okay. And that's what, what I would call good recovery after you already have the injury. It's not after you've had the traumatic experience, because traumatic experience doesn't necessarily cause a chronic injury, and we're trying to reduce the number of chronic injuries, but chronic injuries are going to happen. chronic injuries already exist today. A lot of the people we know are walking around with chronic injuries that are impacting their ability to do what they want to do and what in my opinion, we need them to do, because there's so much change that needs to happen. We need everybody as much as possible to be working at their ability. So wherever we can fix injury, we should. So so one is where do I get an understanding of how this injury impacts my life? And I think different cognitive psychology, I think CBT, DBT, these things are very, very good in general. Margaret 49:22 I know what those are, but can you explain. Smokey 49:22 Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Dialectical Behavioral Therapy. These all come out of cognitive psychology from the 50s. Our techniques, but most therapists use versions of this anyway. So just going to therapy, what it is doing initially, is trying to, like the physical therapist, tell you, "This is the injury you have. This is why it's causing you to limp, or why you have weakness in your arm and wrist. And what we're going to do is we're going to give you some techniques to build up, usually the muscles, or whatever else needs to be built up around it so that you will be able to get more use out of your hand." And that is what we need to do with people that have this chronic injury. So, one, is you need to find out how the injury is impacting. So, I'm drinking more, I'm getting angry more, or I'm having trouble making relationships, or I'm having, and there's a series of, you know, 50 year old techniques to really kind of get down and see, okay, this injury is causing these things, that's how it's impacting me, and I don't want to drink more, or I want to be able to sleep better, or I want to be able to focus, or I want to be able to have meaningful relationship with my partner or my children or whatever, whatever that is, right? And then there are techniques, and they're developing new techniques, all the time, there's like EMDR, which is an eye thing that I don't fully understand. There DBT, dialectical behavioral therapy, has a lot of techniques that you kind of practice in groups. As you know, we have mutual aid cell therapy, MAST, which is also a group where you're sharing techniques to build up these different things and resilience. So, community, and meaning, and all those...reframing all those kinds of things. So, but they shouldn't, despite the length of the injury, how long you've been injured, how long you've been limping, and how much it's affected other parts of your psychic body in a way. These are things that still should be able to be remediated relatively quickly. Smokey 49:31 That's exciting. Yeah. Smokey 50:10 But this is not a lifelong thing. Now, that doesn't mean, if you're traumatized as a child for example, it's sort of like if you've completely shattered your wrist bone, and they've put in pins and things like that, that wrist, may never have the flexibility, it did, the actual wrist bone, you know, the bones in the wrist. But by building muscles, and other things around it, you could then theoretically have full flexibility that you had before, right? But it's not the actual wrist bone, but that that injury is still there. You've built up...Sometimes it's called strength-based approach or model where you're building up other strengths, you have to relieve the impact that that injury, so like, a common thing with with trauma is trust. My trust is very damaged. My ability to trust others, or trust certain environments, or maybe trust myself, right, is completely damaged. So if, if my...and that may never fully heal, that's like my shattered wrist bone. So then, by building up, let's say, I don't trust myself, I did something, really fucked up myself, you know, psychologically, traumatically, but by building up trust in others, and then in the environment, or other things, that can mediate that damage or vice versa. Margaret 53:53 You mean vice versa, like if you? Smokey 53:59 Like, if my problem is a trust of others, or trust with strangers, or trust with friends, you know, I've been betrayed in a really traumatic way by my mother, or my father or uncle or something like that then, you know, building up my friendships to a really strong degree will reduce and eventually eliminate, hopefully erase the impact of that injury on the rest of my life. I'm not doomed to have dysfunctional relationships, lack of sleep, alcoholism or whatever are the symptoms of that traumatic event, that chronic traumatic event. Margaret 54:54 Okay, so my next question is, and it's sort of a leading question, you mentioned MAST earlier and I kind of want to ask, like, do we need specialists for all of this? Do we have people who both generalize and specialize in this kind of thing? Are there ways that, you know, we as a community can, like, get better at most of this stuff while then some of it like, you know, obviously people specialize in and this remains useful? Like... Smokey 55:22 You need. I wouldn't say...You need, you do need specialists, not for their knowledge, per se so much as they're there for people that the injury has gone on so long that the resiliency, all those other things, they don't have a social network, they haven't had time, because the damage happened so early to build up those reserves, that that person in the front row, the front row, the seats are empty. That is, it's really great we live...Now, in other cultures, the specialists were probably shamans, religious people, mentors, things like that, that said, "Okay, my role is to," all therapy is self therapy. That was Carl Rogers, he was quite correct about that. The specialist you're talking about are the kind of stand in for people who don't have people to do that. I would argue all real therapy is probably community therapy. It's relational. So if you have friends, if you have community, if you have a place, or places you find belonging, then theoretically, no, I don't think you need....I think those groups, and I think most specialists would agree to actually, those groups, if they're doing this can actually do a much better job for that individual. They know that individual and there's a natural affinity. And there there are other non specifically therapeutic benefits for engaging in re engaging in these things that have nothing to do with the injury that are just healthy, and good to you. So sort of like taking Ensure, Ensure will keep you alive when you're you've had some surgery, you've had some really bad injury, or if you need saline solution, right? But we're not suggesting people walk around with saline bags. There are better ways to get that, more natural ways to get that. I'm not talking alternative, psychiatric or, you know, take herbs instead of psychiatric medication. But there are better ways to do that. And I think, but I'm glad we have saline. Margaret 58:08 Yeah, Smokey 58:08 I think it saves a lot of people's lives. But, we would never give up the other ways to get nutrients because of other benefits to it. You know, sharing a meal with people is also a really good thing. Margaret 58:21 And then even like from a, you know, the advantages of community, etc. I'm guessing it's not something that's like magically imbued in community. It's like can be something that communities need to actually learn these skills and develop like, I mean, there's a reason that well, you know, I guess I'm reasonably open about this. I used to have like fairly paralyzing panic attacks, and then it started generalizing. And then, you know, a very good cognitive behavioral therapist gave me the tools with which to start addressing that. And that wasn't something I was getting from....I didn't get it from my community in the end, but I got it from a specific person in the community, rather than like, everyone already knows this or something. Smokey 59:03 Well, I think what we're doing right here is, is....I mean, people don't know. So they read....People were trying to help you from your community. Undoubtedly, with the right. intentions, and the right motives, but without the information on what actually works. Margaret 59:27 Yep. Smokey 59:28 And that's all that was happening there. Margaret 59:30 Yeah, totally. Smokey 59:31 So, it's really, you know, as cliche as it sound. It's really about just giving people some basic tools that we already had at one time. Margaret 59:44 Yeah. Smokey 59:45 Forgot, became specialized. So you know, I'm throwing around CBT, DBT, EMDR. None of that people can keep in their head. They will....The audience listening today are not going to remember all those things. And nor do they have to. But they have to know that, you know, reconnecting to the horse, but not telling people to get back on the horse, that kind of tough love kind of thing isn't going to work, but neither is the self care, take a bubble bath... Margaret 1:00:19 Never see a horse again, run from a horse. Smokey 1:00:21 Never see a horse, again, we're not even going to talk about horses, let's go do something else, isn't going to work either. And I think once we...you know, it's not brain science...Though it is. [laughs] It is pretty, you know, these are, and you look at how religions do this, you know, you look at how the military does this, you look at how like, fascists do this, you know, all sorts of groups, communities can do this fairly effectively. And it doesn't cost money. It's not expensive. You don't have to be highly educated or read all the science to be able to do that. And people naturally try, but I think a lot of the self help kind of gets in the way. And some people think they know. "Okay, well, this is what needs to happen, because I saw on Oprah." That kind of thing. " Margaret 1:01:26 Yeah, Well, I mean, actually, that's one of the main takeaways that's coming from me is I've been, I've been thinking a lot about my own mental health first aid on a fairly individual basis, right? You know, even though it was community, that helped me find the means by which to pull myself out of a very bad mental space in that I was in for a lot of years. But I still, in the end was kind of viewing it as, like, "Ah, someone else gave me the tools. And now it's on me." It's like this individual responsibility to take care of myself. And, and so that's like, one of the things that I'm taking as a takeaway from this is learning to be inter-reliant. Smokey 1:02:06 There isn't enough research on it, again, because of our individualistic nature, and probably because of variables. But there's certainly tons of anecdotal evidence, and having done this for a long time talking to people and how the place I work is particularly set up, helping others is a really great way to help yourself. Margaret 1:02:30 Yeah. Smokey 1:02:31 it really works. It's very, I mean, obviously, in the Greeks, you know, you have the 'wounded healer,' kind of concept. Many indigenous traditions have said this much better than the Western. And I believe they have...and they needed to, but they had a much better kind of understanding of these things that we're we're talking about. You know, it. So, where people can...and I've heard this podcast, your podcast too, talking about this ability to be, you know, have self efficacy. But it's more than self efficacy. It's really helping others. Margaret 1:03:22 Yeah. Smokey 1:03:23 And that, that is really powerful. And there's not enough research on that. And I think that's why support groups, I think that's why, you know, AA, despite all its problems, has spread all over the world and has been around for, you know, 75 years, and is not going to go away anytime soon. Despite some obvious problems, is there's that there's that... they hit upon that they they re discovered something that we always kind of knew. Margaret 1:03:59 Yeah. Okay, well, we're coming out of time. We're running out of time. Are there any last thoughts, things that I should have asked you? I mean, there's a ton we can talk about this, and I'll probably try and have you on to talk about more specifics in the near future. But, is there anything anything I'm missing? Smokey 1:04:15 No, I think I think just re emphasizing the end piece that you know, for people that have resources, communities, meaning, social network, you know, that is worth investing your time and your energy into because that's going to build your...if you want to get psychologically strong, that is the easiest and the best investment, Put down the self help book. Call your friend. You know, don't search Google for the symptoms of this, that, or the other thing. Connect to what's important to you. And then lastly, try to help others or help the world in some way. And those are going to be profound and effective ways to build long lasting resilience as an individual. As a community, we should design our communities around that. Margaret 1:05:35 Yeah. All right. Well, that seems like a good thing to end on. Do you have anything that you want to plug like, I don't know books about mutual aid self therapy or anything like that? Smokey 1:05:46 I want to plug community. That's all I want to plug. Margaret 1:05:50 Cool. All right. Well, it's nice talking to you, and I'll talk to you soon. Smokey 1:05:54 Yep. Margaret 1:06:00 Thank you so much for listening. If you enjoyed this podcast, please tell people about it. Actually, I mean, honestly, if you enjoyed this episode, in particular, like think about it, and think about reaching out to people, and who needs to be reached out to and who you need to reach out to, and how to build stronger communities. But if you want to support this podcast, you can tell people about it. And you can tell the internet about it. And you can tell the algorithms about it. But, you can also tell people about it in person. And you can also support it by supporting the, by supporting Strangers In A Tangled Wilderness, which is the people who produce this podcast. It's an anarchist publishing collective that I'm part of, and you can support it on Patreon at patreon.com/strangersinatangledwilderness. And if you support at pretty much any level, you get access to some stuff, and if you support a $10 you'll get a zine in the mail. And if you support at $20, you'll get your name read at the end of episodes. Like for example, Hoss the dog, and Micahiah, and Chris, and Sam, and Kirk, Eleanor, Jennifer, Staro, Cat J, Chelsea, Dana, David, Nicole, Mikki, Paige, SJ, Shawn, Hunter, Theo, Boise Mutual Aid, Milica, and paparouna. And that's all, and we will talk to you soon, and I don't know, I hope you all are doing as well as you can. This podcast is powered by Pinecast. Try Pinecast for free, forever, no credit card required. If you decide to upgrade, use coupon code r-69f62d for 40% off for 4 months, and support Live Like the World is Dying.

The Story of the Blob Tree - Ian Long Interview – Rethinking Transference in Person-Centred Therapy In Episode 360 of the Counselling Tutor Podcast, your hosts Rory Lees-Oakes and Ken Kelly take us through this week's three topics: Firstly, in ‘Ethical, Sustainable Practice', they explore rupture and repair in counselling, looking at the inevitable ruptures that can occur in the therapeutic relationship and how recognising and repairing these moments builds resilience and strengthens the therapeutic alliance. Then in ‘Practice Matters', Rory speaks with Ian Long, illustrator and co-creator of the iconic Blob Tree, about the origins, evolution, and global impact of these powerful visual tools in therapy and education. And finally in ‘Student Services', Rory and Ken rethink transference in person-centred therapy, offering insight into how these dynamics show up during training and why they matter - even outside of client work. Rupture and Repair in Counselling [starts at 03:30 mins] Rory and Ken explore rupture and repair in counselling, emphasising that relational ruptures in therapy are not failures but essential opportunities for growth, learning, and repair. Key points discussed include: Ruptures are normal in therapy and can result from misattunement, transference, or triggering of past trauma. Common signs include client withdrawal, silence, defensiveness, or abrupt subject changes. Effective repair relies on naming the shift gently and being curious about the client's inner experience. Understanding your own attachment and trauma patterns is crucial for managing ruptures. Repairing a rupture models emotional resilience and can deepen the therapeutic relationship. Supervision is essential for processing ruptures and supporting ethical, attuned practice. The Story of the Blob Tree – Ian Long Interview [starts at 23:20 mins] Rory speaks with Ian Long, the illustrator and co-creator of the Blob Tree, about how this simple yet profound tool has supported emotional expression worldwide for four decades. Key points from the interview include: The Blob Tree features a group of non-verbal, genderless characters that reflect different emotional states and interactions. Originally created for youth work, the tool has become widely used in counselling, education, and social work. It facilitates expression for those who struggle with words, including children, non-verbal individuals, and trauma survivors. The success of the tool lies not just in the illustrations but in the skill of the practitioner asking open-ended, exploratory questions. The Blob Tree and related tools are now used in over 150 countries and across various disciplines, including business and humanitarian work. Ian reflects on his creative partnership with the late Pip Wilson and the lasting legacy of their work in fostering emotional literacy. Rethinking Transference in Person-Centred Therapy [starts at 44:58 mins] Rory and Ken challenge the notion that transference has no place in person-centred practice, encouraging students to explore how it shows up in training and personal development. Key points include: Carl Rogers acknowledged transference, though he chose to respond to it rather than interpret it. Transference can occur even outside of client work - in group projects, PD groups, and skills practice. Feelings like the urge to rescue, impress, or withdraw may signal countertransference and warrant reflection. Journaling, peer reflection, and personal therapy can support deeper understanding of relational dynamics. Bringing transference into PD groups (not as blame, but as exploration) helps develop emotional awareness. Recognising these patterns early prepares students for ethical, attuned work with future clients. Links and Resources Counselling Skills Academy Advanced Certificate in Counselling Supervision Basic Counselling Skills: A Student Guide Counsellor CPD Counselling Study Resource Counselling Theory in Practice: A Student Guide Counselling Tutor Training and CPD Facebook group Website Online and Telephone Counselling: A Practitioner's Guide Online and Telephone Counselling Course

Dr Lou Cozolino - a clinical psychologist, author and professor based in Beverly Hills, California. He received his Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology from UCLA and an M.T.S. from Harvard University. He has been a Professor at Pepperdine since 1986 and lectures around the world on psychotherapy, neuroscience, trauma, and attachment. The work that I do for The Weekend University means I get to explore a wide range of topics, teachers, and practitioners who are at the forefront of the field of psychology. Every so often, I feel like I've “struck gold” after discovering someone and I would certainly put Dr Cozolino's work into this category. In this interview, you'll learn: — Lou's experience of being taught by Carl Rogers and what he learned from him — The 4 common factors that underlie all effective forms of psychotherapy — The importance of focusing on principles rather than techniques when educating yourself as a therapist — Why human beings need psychotherapy — The vital ‘half second' and how this impacts every aspect of our experience — The impact of early experiences on our development — Core shame and why we experience it — Neuroplasticity and why therapists should think of themselves as applied neuroscientists — 3 books that Lou recommends every therapist should read And more. You can learn more about Dr Cozolino's work at www.drloucozolino.com --- Dr. Lou Cozolino practices psychotherapy and consulting psychology in Beverly Hills, California. He received his Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology from UCLA and an M.T.S. from Harvard University. He has been a professor at Pepperdine since 1986 and lectures around the world on psychotherapy, neuroscience, trauma, and attachment. With more than 30 years of experience as a psychotherapist and coach, Lou works with adults, adolescents and families as they face a wide variety of life's challenges. Lou's primary method as a therapist is one of connection, attunement, and interaction. Working primarily from a psychodynamic model of treatment, he also employs strategies and techniques from the other forms of therapy he has studied including CBT, family systems, and humanistic/existential. --- Interview Links: — Why Therapy Works: https://amzn.to/3wt90El — The Neuroscience of Psychotherapy: https://amzn.to/3MBxcKw — The Making of a Therapist: https://amzn.to/3lnbuha — The Development of a Therapist: https://amzn.to/3wtNOhF — Dr Cozolino's website: www.drloucozolino.com --- 3 Books Lou Recommends Every Therapist Should Read: — Character Analysis - Wilhelm Reich (1st 120 pages): https://amzn.to/3wDWjoV — Becoming a Person - Carl Rogers: https://amzn.to/3wzrxOg — Thou Shalt Not Be Aware - Alice Miller: https://amzn.to/3sJVUQC --- — Get our latest psychology lectures emailed to your inbox: http://bit.ly/new-talks5 — Check out our next event: http://theweekenduniversity.com/events/

As the year comes to a close, many couples find themselves reflecting on the highs and lows of their relationship. In this episode of the Music and Therapy Podcast, host Keana W. Mitchell, trauma‑informed relationship coach, explores how to move beyond reflection into intentional action. You'll learn practical tools to stop cycles of conflict and start building deeper connection, so you can finish the year with love, grace, and strength.

Sales Basics: Aktiv zuhören. Echt verstehen. Besser verkaufen. Warum Zuhören deine Vertriebs-Superpower ist Mal ehrlich: Viele Verkäufer gelten als „Labertaschen". Sie reden, reden, reden – und wundern sich, warum der Kunde innerlich abschaltet. Wenn du besser verkaufen willst, brauchst du genau das Gegenteil: echtes Interesse und aktives Zuhören. In dieser Sales-Basics-Folge zeige ich dir, wie du mit ein paar simplen Techniken sofort spürbar bessere Gespräche führst – privat und im B2B-Vertrieb. Studien zeigen: Kunden kaufen lieber von Menschen, die ihnen aufmerksam zuhören und ihre Situation wirklich verstehen, statt nur Produkte zu pitchen. Aktives Zuhören ist damit eine der wichtigsten Fähigkeiten, wenn du heute besser verkaufen und stabile Kundenbeziehungen aufbauen willst. Die 4 Ebenen der Kommunikation – und was Verkäufer fast immer übersehen Die meisten glauben, ein Gespräch sei vor allem Sachebene: Fakten, Daten, Features. In Wahrheit laufen immer vier Ebenen gleichzeitig: Sachebene: Was wird inhaltlich gesagt? Beziehungsebene: Wie stehen wir zueinander? Selbstoffenbarung: Was verrät der andere über sich selbst? Appell: Was will er eigentlich von mir? Beispiel: Du kommst zu spät und der Kunde sagt: „Haben Sie keine Uhr?" Auf der Sachebene geht's nicht um die Uhr. Auf der Beziehungsebene sagt er: „Ich fühle mich nicht ernst genommen." Auf der Appellebene: „Sei beim nächsten Mal pünktlich." Wenn du hier nur auf die Worte hörst, wirst du nie besser verkaufen, weil du die eigentliche Botschaft verpasst. 7 Gesprächskiller, die dich am besseren Verkaufen hindern In Coachings sehe ich immer wieder dieselben Muster, die gute Gespräche zerstören – im Vertrieb, aber auch zu Hause: Über sich selbst reden: Kunde erzählt – du konterst sofort mit deiner eigenen Story. Sofort Lösungen liefern: „Mach Sport, dann geht's dir besser." Problem geklaut, Beziehung verloren. Runterspielen: „Ach, das wird schon wieder." – der andere fühlt sich nicht ernst genommen. Ausfragen & dirigieren: Viele Detailfragen, aber nie zum Kern. Schnelle Diagnosen: „Klar, das sind erste Burnout-Anzeichen." – selten hilfreich. Vorwürfe & Belehrungen: „Streng dich halt an." – Gespräch sofort tot. Befehlen & Drohen: „Ich erwarte, dass du das löst." – null Vertrauen, null Tiefe. Wenn du diese Muster reduzierst, bist du schon auf dem Weg, deutlich besser zu verkaufen, weil dein Gegenüber sich endlich gesehen und verstanden fühlt. Aktives Zuhören im Vertrieb: 3 Techniken, die du sofort nutzen kannst Aktives Zuhören kommt aus der Gesprächspsychologie (u.a. nach Carl Rogers) und ist im Coaching Standard – im Vertrieb aber noch viel zu selten. Hier sind drei Techniken, mit denen du im nächsten Gespräch direkt besser verkaufen kannst: Paraphrasieren Du fasst das Gesagte mit eigenen Worten zusammen: Kunde: „Mit meinem aktuellen Anbieter komme ich einfach nicht weiter." Du: „Sie haben das Gefühl, auf der Stelle zu treten und wünschen sich echten Fortschritt." So signalisierst du: „Ich habe dich verstanden." Gleichzeitig sortiert der Kunde seine Gedanken – oft kommt dabei das eigentliche Kaufmotiv auf den Tisch. Gefühle verbalisieren Du sprichst das Gefühl hinter den Worten aus: „Sie sind genervt.", „Das klingt nach Enttäuschung." Selbst wenn du leicht daneben liegst, korrigiert dich der Kunde – und geht damit noch tiefer. Genau dort entstehen Vertrauen und die Grundlage, um später souverän zu besser verkaufen. Weiterführende Fragen & Pausen Statt „Warum?" nutzt du Wie- und Was-Fragen: „Wie hat sich das entwickelt?", „Was ist für Sie im Moment am wichtigsten?". Kombiniert mit kurzen Pausen holst du bis zu 30 % mehr Informationen aus dem Gespräch heraus – Gold wert für jeden, der im B2B besser verkaufen möchte. Sales Basics im Alltag: So machst du Zuhören zur Gewohnheit Aktives Zuhören ist wie ein Muskel: Du baust ihn nur auf, wenn du ihn benutzt. Nimm dir vor, in deinem nächsten Kundentermin bewusst mehr auf Empfang zu gehen als auf Sendung. Streiche mindestens einen Gesprächskiller und setze stattdessen eine der drei Techniken ein. Du wirst merken: Die Gespräche werden ruhiger, ehrlicher und deutlich produktiver. Kunden öffnen sich, teilen echte Probleme – und genau deshalb kannst du am Ende besser verkaufen, weil du nicht mehr an Symptomen herumdokterst, sondern das Problem hinter dem Problem löst. Wenn du diese Sales Basics mit deinem Team verankern willst, arbeite regelmäßig mit Mitschriften, Rollenspielen und Feedback. So wird aktives Zuhören vom „nice to have" zum Standard – und dein Vertrieb verkauft messbar besser. Quick Takeaways: So verkaufst du mit Zuhören besser Besser verkaufen heißt zuerst: besser verstehen – nicht besser reden. Jede Aussage hat vier Ebenen – vor allem die emotionale entscheidet über den Abschluss. Gesprächskiller wie Belehrungen, Schnelllösungen und „Ich-Stories" konsequent reduzieren. Mit Paraphrasieren, Gefühls-Labels und offenen Fragen kommst du schnell auf den Kern. Aktives Zuhören schafft Vertrauen – die wichtigste Währung im komplexen B2B-Vertrieb. Dein Call-to-Action Probier aktives Zuhören in deinem nächsten Gespräch ganz bewusst aus – im Kundentermin oder beim Abendessen mit der Familie. Schreib mir, welche Effekte du bemerkt hast, und teil diese Episode mit Kolleg:innen, die besser verkaufen wollen. Wie erlebst du aktives Zuhören im Vertriebsalltag – und wo fällt es dir am schwersten?  

Elles passent souvent inaperçues, elles sont rarement nommées, mais elles laissent des traces durables. Les micro-violences éducatives ordinaires, ce sont ces paroles blessantes, ces gestes d'exclusion ou ces silences froids qui, jour après jour, érodent la confiance des élèves. Qu'il s'agisse d'une moquerie devant toute la classe, d'un élève systématiquement ignoré ou d'un aménagement spatial qui isole, ces pratiques sont encore trop souvent banalisées dans le quotidien scolaire.Dans cet épisode, nous interrogeons les logiques de fonctionnement : pourquoi ces gestes, pourtant contraires aux valeurs de l'école, persistent-ils ? Quels ressorts culturels et professionnels les alimentent ? Et surtout, que peut-on faire pour les prévenir ?Face à ces violences silencieuses, nous explorons également le pouvoir des « micro-attentions » : ces gestes simples mais puissants qui peuvent restaurer le lien et soutenir l'élève dans son parcours. Car si l'école peut blesser, elle peut aussi restaurer.Avec :Laurent Muller, maître de conférences en sciences de l'éducation au laboratoire InterPsy, université de Lorraine.Lucie Perrin, faisant fonction IEN ET-EG et professeure de lycée professionnel en économie-gestion dans l'académie de Lyon.Extra classe a besoin de vous : renseignez notre enquête utilisateur.Témoignez également de vos souvenirs scolaires dans le cadre de l'enquête de l'université de Lorraine sur les micro-violences et micro-attentions.(Ré)écouter ces épisodes Extra classe :Enseigner, un art du geste - Parlons pratiques ! #6.La CNV, un outil pour mon école - Les Énergies scolaires.Inspirations des invités :Carl Rogers.Marshall Rosenberg et la CNV (communication NonViolente).Rebecca Shankland.Chapitres00:00 Intro03:15 Nommer pour mieux voir : micro-violences ou micro-attentions ?17:40 Comprendre les logiques qui entretiennent les gestes26:53 Transformer sans culpabiliser avec les micro-attentions35:30 InspirationsExtra classe sur vos plateformes d'écoute https://smartlink.ausha.co/extra-classeExtra classe, des podcasts produits par Réseau Canopé Émission préparée et animée par : Hélène Audard et Régis Forgione Réalisée avec l'appui technique de : Nadjim Mioudi et Mehdi Mohraz Directrice de publication : Alexandra Wisniewski Coordination et production : Hélène Audard et Magali Devance Réalisation et mixage : Simon Gattegno Remerciements à l'Atelier Canopé de Nancy Contactez-nous sur : contact@reseau-canope.fr © Réseau Canopé, 2025Hébergé par Ausha. Visitez ausha.co/politique-de-confidentialite pour plus d'informations.

Un Autor, Una Idea y Nuestras Familias Reales, continuamos con los humanistas existenciales. En este episodio Matías Muñoz nos trae a Carl Rogers y exploramos su pensamiento.Bancas a Citas? Sumate a este link! https://citasderadio.com.ar/se_parte.phpPodcasts en tu whatsapp todos los viernes.Ep. 127 - T. 5

Katie Fosselius, a licensed therapist at LifeStance Health joins us on this episode to explore one of the most essential elements of effective therapy — the therapeutic relationship. Katie shares her personal path to becoming a therapist and reflects on how empathy, authenticity, and trust form the foundation for healing and growth. Drawing inspiration from pioneers like Carl Rogers and Irvin Yalom, they discuss the power of unconditional positive regard, thoughtful self-disclosure, and genuine connection. Listeners will gain practical insights into how strong client-therapist relationships can shape meaningful therapeutic outcomes.

Dr. Sharon Livingston is a bestselling author, coach, and Thought Leader in Professional Coaching and Market Research. She has worked with numerous Fortune 100 Companies while interviewing over 64,000 people during the past 30 years. Free Stuff: Free Courses: https://www.danielkarim.com/freestuff Books Tips: https://www.danielkarim.com/great-books Podcast: https://www.danielkarim.com/podcast Deal Diary for CEO´s: https://www.danielkarim.com/deal-diary Future Blueprint Template: https://www.danielkarim.com/authoring/the-future-blueprint Stoic Leadership Secrets: www.danielkarim.com/authoring/home-therapist-the-anti-anxiety-program. SPONSORS: To support this podcast, check out our sponsors & get discounts: (Looking for new mission aligned sponsor) Contact Daniel Email: comms@alexandrian.ai

Aujourd'hui, je t'invite à célébrer la Journée internationale de la gentillesse en partageant une réflexion aussi poignante qu'intime sur la véritable force de la gentillesse, surtout dans l'accompagnement de fin de vie. À vingt-cinq jours de ses 60 ans, je propose de laisser tomber les clichés qui réduisent la gentillesse à de la faiblesse, pour découvrir comment elle devient une présence authentique et puissante auprès de ceux qu'on accompagne, qu'on aime ou qu'on soigne. Au fil de mon témoignage et de mes rencontres, j'explore comment mon parcours d'aidante m'a transformée, en m'inspirant notamment de l'approche humaniste de Carl Rogers et d'autres personnalités bienveillantes. Prépares toi à un épisode plein d'humilité, de vérités, et de douceur, qui fait de la gentillesse un véritable super pouvoir et une boussole pour traverser les passages difficiles de la vie. Bonne écoute ! Bienvenue dans la saison 5 "La voix en héritage"! Rejoins moi sur Sweet Elles : https://go.sweetpapipodcast.com/sweetelles Voici 3 enseignements clés à retenir de cet épisode inspirant : La gentillesse n'est pas synonyme de faiblesse  L'importance de l'écoute active  Être bienveillant envers soi-même pour mieux accompagner les autres  Timeline de l'épisode 00:00:3200:00:39 La vraie gentillesse : "Mais au contraire, la gentillesse vraie, ce n'est pas un comportement, c'est une présence et on en parle tout de suite après mon sweat jingle." 00:02:0700:02:14 Le pouvoir de la gentillesse : "D'ailleurs je me demande si la gentillesse a changé ma vie d'aidante ou si c'est ma vie d'aidante qui a changé ma gentillesse." 00:03:4400:03:55 Philosophie de l'écoute active : « chaque individu détient au plus profond de lui sa propre vérité, il peut accéder à ses ressources s'il se sent compris, accepté et non jugé. » 00:06:4300:06:54 Le pouvoir de la gentillesse : "j'aimerais tant que la gentillesse devienne notre super pouvoir. Et enfin que tu réalises pleinement après l'écoute de cet épisode que la gentillesse est une force de transformation incomparable."

What if everything you believe about workplace wellness is only part of the story? In this episode, Kevin welcomes Dr. Katina Sawyer and Dr. Patricia Grabarek to discuss the real drivers of well-being at work and the critical role leaders play in shaping thriving environments. Drawing on their research, Katina and Patricia challenge the overreliance on surface-level wellness programs and demonstrate how authentic leadership, trust, and team connection have far greater impact. They introduce the concept of "generators", leaders who energize and empower their teams and contrast them with "extinguishers," who unintentionally drain motivation and wellness. Patricia and Katina also explore ideas like authenticity within professional boundaries, person-centered leadership, and the practical importance of being a "boundary bouncer." Listen For 0:00 The importance of wellness at work 0:33 Welcome and introduction by Kevin Eikenberry 1:29 About Kevin's book Flexible Leadership 2:18 Introducing guests Dr. Patricia Grabarek and Dr. Katina Sawyer 4:19 How their friendship led to writing Leading for Wellness 6:01 The research behind workplace wellness 7:05 The big idea Why leaders drive wellness 8:10 Defining workplace wellness 9:26 Work life balance myths and realities 10:18 Common misconceptions about wellness at work 11:37 Why wellness and productivity go hand in hand 13:30 The bolt on problem with wellness programs 14:01 What is a Generator leader 15:19 Authenticity and trust in leadership 17:14 What authenticity really means at work 18:40 Avoiding the stoic leader trap 20:26 Sharing your human side builds trust 21:01 Leaders as Boundary Bouncers 22:26 Protecting boundaries and modeling balance 24:15 Real life examples of healthy boundaries 25:01 Person centered leadership and Carl Rogers' influence 26:36 Knowing your people as individuals 28:17 Why understanding your team makes leadership easier 29:28 Building team culture where everyone thrives 30:23 What Katina and Patricia do for fun 32:37 What they're reading 34:04 Learn more about Worker Being and Leading for Wellness 35:19 Kevin's closing challenge Now what 35:54 Farewell and next episode reminder Their Story: Dr. Patricia Grabarek, PhD and Dr.Katina Sawyer, PhD, are the authors of Leading for Wellness: How to Create a Team Culture Where Everyone Thrives. They are the co-founders of Workr Beeing. Patricia is a seasoned Industrial/Organizational Psychologist specializing in workplace wellness, organizational culture, employee engagement, diversity and inclusion, and leadership development. With a background in both consulting and internal roles, Dr. Grabarek has led people analytics and talent management initiatives for more than 60 organizations across various industries. Her work focuses on research-based strategies to improve well-being, retention, performance, and diversity efforts. Named one of Culture Amp's Top 25 Emerging Culture Creators for 2024, Dr. Grabarek's insights have appeared in The Los Angeles Times, CBS News, and CBC Radio. She holds a PhD and MS in Industrial/Organizational Psychology from Penn State and a BA in Psychology from UCLA. Katina is an Industrial/Organizational psychologist and an Associate Professor of Management and Organizations at the University of Arizona's Eller College of Management. A leading expert in work-life balance, leadership, positive workplace behaviors, and diversity, she has published more than 50 peer-reviewed studies, book chapters, and articles in outlets like Harvard Business Review. Dr. Sawyer's work has been featured in major media such as The Washington Post, Bloomberg Businessweek, The Atlantic, and Forbes. Receiving grants from the National Science Foundation and the Society for Human Resource Management, her groundbreaking research has established her as a thought leader in positive workplace behaviors. Among Philadelphia Business Journal's "Top 40 Under 40" in 2017, Dr. Sawyer also consults with organizations, offering data-driven solutions to create healthier, more productive workplaces. She holds a BA in Psychology from Villanova University and a dual PhD and MS in Industrial/Organizational Psychology and Women's Studies from Penn State. https://workrbeeing.com/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/katina-sawyer-ph-d/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/patriciagrabarek/ https://www.instagram.com/workrbeeing/ https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCQGtAaCiNV2qR4HxgBvAkrg This Episode is brought to you by... Flexible Leadership is every leader's guide to greater success in a world of increasing complexity and chaos. Book Recommendations Leading for Wellness: How to Create a Team Culture Where Everyone Thrives by Patricia Grabarek and Katina Sawyer Outraged: Why We Fight About Morality and Politics and How to Find Common Ground by Kurt Gray Like a Wave We Break: A Memoir of Falling Apart and Finding Myself by Jane Marie Chen Like this? Solving the Culture Puzzle with Mario Moussa and Derek Newberry How Leaders Can Create a Company Culture That Doesn't Suck with S. Chris Edmonds and Mark Babbitt Creating a Work Culture Everyone Wants with Jennifer Moss Podcast Better! Sign up with Libsyn and get up to 2 months free! Use promo code: RLP Leave a Review If you liked this conversation, we'd be thrilled if you'd let others know by leaving a review on Apple Podcasts. Here's a quick guide for posting a review. Review on Apple: https://remarkablepodcast.com/itunes Join Our Community If you want to view our live podcast episodes, hear about new releases, or chat with others who enjoy this podcast join one of our communities below. Join the Facebook Group Join the LinkedIn Group

Lange Nächte, Winterzeit, Zeit zum Durchatmen – und vielleicht auch zum Nachdenken über das, was zwischen uns Menschen wirklich passiert. Warum wir so oft glauben, andere zu verstehen, und dabei doch an unseren eigenen Deutungen hängen. Es geht um das große Kommunikationsdilemma: „Ich denke, dass Du denkst, dass ich denke…“ – und wie viel Missverständnis in diesem kleinen Satz steckt.Ich teile mit Dir, warum unser Gehirn dafür gebaut ist, andere zu „lesen“ – und weshalb uns unsere Spiegelneuronen dabei manchmal in die Irre führen. Wie leicht wir aus Resonanz Projektion machen, aus Einfühlung Interpretation. Und was echte Empathie im Sinne von Carl Rogers wirklich bedeutet: sich selbst zu spüren, bevor man glaubt, den anderen zu verstehen. Außerdem verrate ich Dir meinen persönlichen Geheimtipp für schwierige Gespräche und Konfliktsituationen – eine kleine, aber wirkungsvolle Haltung, die jede Begegnung verändern kann. Und ich spreche über das Buch Brain Talk von Dr. David Schnarch, der erklärt, warum wir einander gar nicht so gut lesen können, wie wir glauben – und wie Nähe wirklich entsteht, wenn wir bereit sind, unsere inneren Landkarten immer wieder zu überprüfen.Dazu gibt's meinen aktuellen Film- und Buchtipp für lange Herbstabende: „Die Verteidigerin“ in der ARD-Mediathek – ein fesselndes Psychospiel über Manipulation und Macht – und „Deliver Me From Nowhere“, den Bruce-Springsteen-Film für alle, die sich in Dunkelheit und Musik zuhause fühlen. Mehr dazu findest Du auch im Leben Lieben Lassen-WhatsApp Kanal WERBUNGAlle Infos, Partner und Rabatte findest Du hier: https://linktr.ee/leben.lieben.lassen.podcastLINKS AUS DIESER FOLGE:Buchtipp: „Braintalk“, Dr. David Snarch „Die Verteidigerin – der Fall Belling“ . ARD Mediathek Kino: „Deliver me from nowhere“ geführte Meditationen von Leben-Lieben-Lassen Playlist (Spotify)CLAUDIA, LINKS UND RESSOURCENLeben Lieben Lassen WhatsApp-Kanal https://whatsapp.com/channel/0029Vb4cgUvLNSa297ConI3iWeitere Inspiration auf Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/leben_lieben_lassen_podcast/Webseite & Beratung: https://leben-lieben-lassen.de/Alle Infos zu mir und meinen Angeboten: https://linktr.ee/Leben_Lieben_Lassen Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Samen met dr Nicolaï Saké bespreken we vanuit de tribune enkele keypoints van de afgelopen week.- Nafi Thiam voelt zich niet meer veilig binnen haar federatie- Atleet centraal: Client-Centered van psycholoog en psychotherapeut Carl Rogers. Ooit geïntroduceerd in de Belgische sportwereld door BOIC topman Eddy Desmedt.- Het duel Remco Evenepoel vs Tadej Pogačar.- Veerkracht van Jarno Widar.- Wouter D'Haene: Als je uwe trainer kan pakken laat dan die kans niet liggen

In der heutigen Folge von Lifestyle Schlank spreche ich darüber, wie du lernen kannst, leichter loszulassen – egal ob es um überflüssige Kilos, einen Job, der dich nicht mehr erfüllt, oder eine Beziehung geht, die dir nicht mehr guttut. Gestern war Herbstbeginn, und für mich ist diese Jahreszeit immer eine ganz besondere Zeit des Loslassens. In dieser Folge zeige ich dir 4 einfache und magische Schritte, mit denen du aufhörst, gegen die Realität zu kämpfen, und stattdessen lernst, dich in Akzeptanz zu üben. Denn wie Carl Rogers so schön sagt: „Das Merkwürdige ist, dass ich mich, so wie ich bin, akzeptieren kann – und dass ich mich dadurch verändern kann.“ Du erfährst, warum wir wirklich erst dann loslassen können, wenn wir unseren inneren Widerstand aufgeben und anerkennen, dass das Leben ein ständiger Fluss ist und Veränderung das Natürlichste der Welt. Ich wünsche mir, dass es dir, wenn du die Folge bis zum Ende gehört hast, genauso leicht fällt loszulassen wie den Bäumen im Herbst, die ohne Angst ihre Blätter fallen lassen, weil sie wissen, dass sie so Energie sparen, sich schützen und Platz für gesundes Wachstum schaffen. Denk immer dran:  “Jedes Ende ist immer der Anfang von etwas Neuem und jeder Verlust ist gleichzeitig ein Gewinn". Und jetzt wünsche ich dir wie immer viel Spaß und viele neue Erkenntnisse beim Zuhören. PS: Ich freue mich auch immer sehr über eine positive Bewertung von euch.

In Episode 2 of our series, we return to Freud's idea of fixation, the sense of being stuck at a childhood stage where some need was left unmet. Why do some of us chew pens when anxious, insist on perfect order, or crave attention again and again? These are not flaws but messages from younger parts of ourselves.This episode explores what fixation means in daily life, why Freud's theory is both insightful and limited, and how modern thinkers like Daniel Siegel, Daniel Goleman, Carl Rogers, and Viktor Frankl help us reframe it. Through relatable examples and practices, we discover how to transform old patterns into sources of self-awareness and growth.Instead of labeling ourselves, we learn to listen with compassionand find that fixation is not where our story ends, but where a new chapter begins.

Can small, meaningful interactions transform leadership and organizational success? Join us as we explore this fascinating question with Zach Mercurio, an authority in purposeful leadership and positive organizational psychology. Through Zach's compelling research, we uncover the concept of "mattering" in the workplace, a crucial element often overlooked amidst traditional rewards like pay raises and promotions. As employees grapple with feelings of invisibility, Zach introduces the idea of a "mattering deficit" and shares his insights on how leaders can create cultures where every team member feels valued and significant, elevating both well-being and performance.Our conversation with Zach also explores the profound impact of genuine care and connection in leadership. We address the distinction between caring about and caring for team members, emphasizing the importance of intentionality in leaders' actions. Unconscious signals can undermine employees' sense of mattering, and Zach provides practical strategies to ensure leaders' good intentions translate into meaningful daily practices. From understanding the role of "soft skills" to recognizing the subtle biases that can lead to complacency, we explore ways to build a supportive environment that fosters true belonging.Finally, we touch upon the critical role of noticing and affirming those we rely on at work. By moving beyond transactional interactions to transformational ones, leaders can create a more inclusive atmosphere. We share techniques like the green, yellow, red check-in to gauge emotional states and Carl Rogers' active listening principles, vital for building meaningful relationships. As we consider the intersection of AI and human connection, this episode promises a thought-provoking discussion on how recognizing and valuing each other can empower teams and, ultimately, transform organizations.What You'll Learn- The critical nuances between caring about and caring for your team- Shifting from transactional to transformational interactions- The significance of emotional connections in communication and decision-making- The paradox of leadership: empowering teams by letting go- The vital role of soft skills and the intersection of AI and human connectionPodcast Timestamps(00:03) – The Power of Mattering (in Leadership)(12:14) - The Importance of Caring for Others(18:36) – What It Truly Means to Notice Someone(27:03) –Small Gestures Can Build Deep Emotional Connections(38:03) – How to Create Psychological Safety(48:02) - Empowering Leadership Through Relinquishing Control(54:29) - Mattering in an AI WorldKEYWORDSPositive Leadership, The Power of Mattering, Maximizing Engagement, Enhancing Well-being, A Culture of Caring, Practicing Empathy, Soft Skills Drive Hard Results, Deep Emotional Connections, Effective Communication, Building Trust, The Perils of Command and Control, Increasing Human Connection, Relational Economy, Creativity, CEO Success

What if healing doesn't come from expertise, but from empathy? In this transformative conversation, David Polidi sits down with internationally renowned Motivational Interviewing trainer Stephen Andrew to explore what it really means to be present with someone in their pain. Stephen challenges the dominant medical model of mental health—assess, diagnose, and treat—and offers instead a radically human approach: one rooted in compassion, collaboration, and what he calls radical humility. Drawing from decades of experience, Stephen shares how MI is not just a technique, but a way of being—a spiritual, relational posture that meets people where they are, without judgment or agenda. Together, David and Stephen dive into the concept of the “trauma injury”—a phrase that invites healing and hope rather than pathology. They explore how many of our deepest wounds stem from power imbalances, and how true healing can only happen in spaces where we move from “power over” to “power with.” You'll hear powerful reflections on: The three G's of empathy: genuine, gentle, and a guess Why MI is Carl Rogers 2.0 How trauma teaches us to believe we don't matter—and how empathy can quiet the nervous system enough for hope to return Why empathy is not a performance, but a presence How the “container” of compassion and acceptance allows the “medicine” of empowerment and partnership to emerge This episode isn't just for therapists—it's for anyone who wants to show up more fully, more authentically, and more tenderly in their relationships. If you've ever wondered what real healing looks like—or how to hold space for someone else's pain—this conversation will stay with you long after it ends. “The individual is like a garden to be tended, not a machine to be repaired.” —Stephen Andrew

Send us a textThis Episode was originally made available on 4th Aug 2024 on Patreon.Episode Description: Today, I examine the life and work of Carl Rogers, one of the most influential psychologists of the 20th century, through a Christian lens. We explore his person-centered approach, the harmony between his principles and Christian teachings, and ask whether his theories can inspire and enrich our Christian faith and understanding of people.ContentsIntro:Harmony with Christian Teachings:Biography of Carl Rogers:Core Theories and Propositions:Applications of Person-Centered Approach:Rogerian Rhetorical Approach:Work with the CIA:Critical Perspective from a Biblical Christian View:Rogers' contributions to psychology offer valuable insights into human potential and empathy.Balancing Rogers' theories with biblical teachings ensures a holistic understanding of personal growth rooted in God's truth and love.Embracing shared values between psychological insights and Christianity can nurture environments that uplift the inherent dignity and potential within each person.Takeaway: This episode provides t insights into the intersection of Carl Rogers' psychological principles and Christian teachings, offering, I hope, a unique perspective for believers, psychology students, and anyone interested in the connection between faith and mental health.Support the showTo listen to my monthly church history podcast, subscribe at; https://thehistoryofthechristianchurch.buzzsprout.com For an ad-free version of my podcasts plus the opportunity to enjoy hours of exclusive content and two bonus episodes a month whilst also helping keep the Bible Project Daily Podcast free for listeners everywhere support me at;|PatreonSupport me to continue making great content for listeners everywhere.https://thebibleproject.buzzsprout.com

Send us a textYou don't have to agree to understand—and in coaching, confusing the two can shut down growth before it starts.I break down the critical difference between understanding and agreement in coaching and leadership. Pulling from Carl Rogers' research and real-life coaching moments, we show how validating concerns—without co-signing them—creates space for trust, reflection, and real change.Because when people feel heard, they stop defending and start growing.Tune in to learn how to listen with curiosity, not control. Want to be a better listener? Start with what you're listening for. Take the Catalyst Mindsets™ Quiz to uncover the mindset gaps that might be blocking progress in your coaching conversations.

Send us a textThis week Richard & Fiona delve into theories from Maslow and Carl Rogers on becoming fully functioning individuals.Join our Evolve to Thrive programmeWhatsapp usSubmit a question Follow us on Facebook or Instagram The Richard Nicholls PodcastThe Brookhouse Hypnotherapy Group YouTube ChannelRichard's Social Media LinksBluesky X Insta Facbook Youtube TikTok ThreadsListen to Richard on Patreonhttps://www.patreon.com/richardnicholls

Supporting Male Survivors of Sexual Abuse - Carl Rogers'Seven Stages of Process In Episode 340 of the Counselling Tutor Podcast, your hosts Rory Lees-Oakes and Ken Kelly take us through this week's three topics: Firstly, in ‘Ethical, Sustainable Practice', we look at the question: Can clients ask you to delete their data? - covering legal, ethical, and practical considerations. Then in ‘Practice Matters', Rory speaks with Jeremy Sachs about supporting male survivors of sexual abuse, with a focus on the intersectional challenges they face and practical considerations for therapists. And finally, in ‘Student Services', Rory and Ken explain and simplify Carl Rogers' Seven Stages of Process, highlighting how this core theory maps client growth in therapy. Can Clients Ask You to Delete Their Data?  [starts at 03:26 mins] In this section, Rory and Ken address a challenging but important question: Can clients ask you to delete their data? Key points discussed include: Under UK GDPR (Article 17), clients have the "right to erasure" (right to be forgotten), but it's not absolute. You may decline deletion if: The data is required for legal obligations, such as tax or insurance records. You need the data to defend against complaints or for safeguarding purposes. Deleting data prematurely could leave you without a defence if a client complains later or if you are required to provide records to legal authorities or coroners. Good practice includes: Explaining data retention policies in your contract. Consulting the ICO (Information Commissioner's Office) for UK-based practitioners. Documenting decisions with written evidence from insurers or data protection authorities. Consider using a split-note system to separate identifying details from case notes. How long should client data be kept after therapy ends? (Commonly six years for adults, up to age 25 for children). Supporting Male Survivors of Sexual Abuse [starts at 23:53 mins] In ‘Practice Matters', Rory speaks with Jeremy Sachs, therapist and author of the upcoming book Masculinity Reconnected, about male sexual abuse and its often-overlooked challenges. Key points discussed include: Societal silence: Male survivors often go unheard due to cultural narratives about masculinity, strength, and emotional repression. The role of masculinity: Traditional masculinity can prevent men from seeking help. Men may internalise shame and avoid vulnerability. "Toxic masculinity" can further oppress male survivors. Intersectionality: Men experience sexual abuse differently based on race, gender identity, class, or sexuality. Therapists must recognise these layers when supporting clients. Supporting survivors: Create safe, validating spaces for male clients to share their stories. Explore how societal expectations and cultural messaging impact their healing. Encourage community and connection to reduce isolation. Carl Rogers' Seven Stages of Process [starts at 45:40 mins] In ‘Student Services', Rory and Ken simplify Carl Rogers' Seven Stages of Process, a key person-centred theory describing how clients grow through therapy. Key points include: The seven stages map a client's journey from rigidity to fluidity - from defensiveness to openness and self-trust. Stages explained: Rigidity & Defensiveness – Blaming others, avoiding self-awareness. External Recognition – Acknowledging problems exist but externalising them. Tentative Self-Exploration – Starting to discuss personal feelings. Here-and-Now Feelings – Becoming present-focused, seeking involvement in therapy. Ownership & Change – Taking control and committing to change. Experiencing Fully – Accepting emotions in real-time and trusting the inner self. Self-Actualisation – Living authentically and growing beyond therapy. Most therapy takes place between stages 3–5,

The person-centred approach to counselling is built on the foundation of empathy, authenticity, and unconditional positive regard. Developed by Carl Rogers, this approach shifts the focus from the therapist as an expert to the client as the central figure in their own healing journey. Rather than directing or diagnosing, the counsellor provides a non-judgmental, supportive space, allowing the individual to explore their thoughts and emotions freely.At its core, this method recognises that each person has the capacity for growth, self-awareness, and healing when given the right environment. The role of the counsellor is to listen deeply, reflect, and validate, helping clients to find their own solutions rather than imposing advice.In pre-hospital and emergency care, where professionals often witness distress and trauma, adopting person-centred communication can make a profound difference. Whether supporting patients in crisis, speaking with families, or debriefing colleagues, approaching conversations with genuine empathy, active listening, and emotional presence fosters trust and resilience.On today's episode, we'll explore how this approach applies to medicine, emergency response, and mental health, and how we can all integrate person-centred principles into our professional and personal interactions.Chris Molyneux has spent more than a decade as a counsellor working alongside people who are rediscovering their frame of reference after trauma, and supervising other counsellors who do the same. Chris brings great authenticity through his work and has already had a hugely powerful impact for many healthcare workers. Chris's work can be found here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kwrbmKtOAGYChris The Counsellor on YouTube www.youtube.com/christhecounsellor and reach out to Chris on the following email chris@chrismolyneux.co.ukThis is a paid advertisement from BetterHelp In the demanding field of pre-hospital care, having reliable support is crucial. Whether you're a first responder, healthcare professional, or simply facing life's everyday stresses, therapy can equip you with strategies to manage pressure, strengthen resilience, and enhance your mental health.BetterHelp, the world's largest online therapy platform, connects individuals with licensed therapists via video, phone, or messaging—available anytime, anywhere. With more than 5,000 therapists in the UK, it's easy to find the right match for your needs. Strengthen your support network with BetterHelp.Listeners receive 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com/CAREPOD This podcast is sponsored by PAX.Whatever kind of challenge you have to face, with PAX backpacks you are well-prepared. Whether on water, on land or in the air - PAX's versatile, flexible backpacks are perfectly suitable for your requirements and can be used in the most demanding of environments. Equally, PAX bags are built for comfort and rapid access to deliver the right gear at the right time to the right patient. To see more of their innovative designed product range, please click here:⁠https://www.pax-bags.com/en/⁠

At work, we often operate in transactional mode, almost always skipping the human side of communication. But if you want to build trust, boost performance, and create a culture of belonging for your teams, you need to let go of silence, stress, and surface-level interactions. The only way to make meaningful connections is intentionally embracing positive communication. However, it's easier said than done. That's why we partnered up with Dr. Julien Mirivel for the second time in this episode to explore the elements of positive communication so that you can lead and connect with your people more meaningfully.In Part 2 of this powerful episode of the Happiness Squad Podcast, Julien Mirivel returns to unpack the final three behaviors from his model of Positive Communication: Disclosing, Encouraging, and Listening. He explores how small acts, like sharing your own story, offering meaningful praise, or even opening your hand, can create deeper trust and connection at work.Things you will learn in this episode:• “Disclosing” as a reciprocal and deeply humanizing act• How “Encouraging” moves people from who they are to who they can become• How “Listening” helps transcend perceived differences especially for leaders• The three forms of support• Making Positive Communication a HabitThis is your playbook for building lasting connections. Don't miss it!If you've missed part 1 of our conversation, check it out here: https://podcast.happinesssquad.com/episode/how-to-lead-better-through-positive-communication-with-julien-mirivel-part-1Resources:✅• The Art of Positive Communication: https://positiveorgs.bus.umich.edu/wp-content/uploads/Model-of-Positive-Communication-Copyright-Julien-C-Mirivel.pdf • The Six Keys to Positive Communication (article by Dr. Julien Mirivel): https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/the_six_keys_to_positive_communication • Dr. Julien Mirivel's website: https://www.julienmirivel.com/ • TEDx with Dr. Julien Mirivel: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KmmlA19WLgs • Unconditional Positive Regard by Carl Rogers: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK589708/ • The Electric Connection: Martin Buber's View on Authentic Human Relationships and the Divine: https://worldmindhub.tistory.com/1717 Books:✅• Positive Communication for Leaders by Alexander Lyon and Julien Mirivel: https://a.co/d/ahFgouG • The Art of Positive Communication by Julien Mirivel: https://a.co/d/24bwU1k• How to Smile by Thich Nhat Hanh: https://a.co/d/9AEZ2hJ • A Complaint Free World by Will Bowen: https://a.co/d/iMksSlT • Hardwired for Happiness by Ashish Kothari:

When you want to get to know someone better, you ask them a lot of questions, right?Maybe not . . .This week, we pick up on an important point Elliott made last episode about avoiding questions to facilitate effective, authentic communication. It seems counterintuitive, but we can actually gather MORE information and cultivate DEEPER intimacy by communicating with statements.So, how exactly do we do this?Elliott and I share a foundational technique from Carl Rogers' Client Centered Therapy—reflective listening.It's a simple adjustment that dramatically alters communication. You can try it today and immediately experience the difference!Your friends, family, and romantic partners will feel seen, heard, and validated. They'll know how much you care about them through your reflections of what they're expressing.The best part? You don't have to try to figure out the right words to say or the right questions to ask.Because, as we noted above, it's NOT about questions at all!If you're ready to level up your communication skills to deepen understanding and intimacy, join us for some Counseling 101!Citation: Behavior Expert, Chase Hughes, from Steve Bartlett's Facebook page.Sponsor:The Wellness CompanyWebsite: ⁠https://www.twc.health/lovelife⁠Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order!Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott AndersonWebsite: http://loveandlifemedia.com/Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBookInstagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson

For over a decade, Edwin Rutsch has hitchhiked, bicycled, traveled and worked his way around our precious planet. He interacted with a wide variety of cultures and peoples from all walks of life and learned to see and feel a common humanity shared by people around the world. During his explorations he came to see the importance of empathy in human connections.He is a computer expert, a filmmaker, and the founding director of The Center for Building a Culture of Empathy. This center serves as one of the leading organizations of the global empathy movement and focuses on bridging social and political divides by designing a free online empathy training course and holding face to face and virtual empathy cafés.Tags: Edwin Rutsch, Helen Riess, empathy, Carl Rogers, eye contact, active listening, empathic listening, curiosity, Empathy Cafes, Empathy Tent, Empathy Circles, empathy boot camp, peace, nonviolence, conflict, collaboration, Barbara Fredrickson, positive emotions, Social Change/Politics, Personal Transformation, Relationship/Partnership/Sexuality, Self Help

Forrest and Dr. Rick explore how self-concept, the invisible architecture of who we are, shapes our lives. They discuss how identity can become a cage, the unconscious beliefs we have about who we are, and how loosening those beliefs might be the key to lasting change. Forrest and Rick talk about the science of psychological flexibility, how to challenge limiting self-beliefs, and why a little more “don't-know mind” can go a long way. They share insights from Carl Rogers, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), and Buddhist philosophy, and focus on practical ways to update your self-concept without losing who you are. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:40: What is self-concept? 8:25: Stories, frameworks, and expectations 13:30: ‘I' vs. ‘me', and feeling misunderstood 16:55: Carl Rogers' framework of self-concept and congruence 24:20: Common tropes for defending identity 30:45: Applying principles of biological evolution to your sense of self 34:50: Resistance to change, and misguided beliefs 40:35: Don't-know mind, affirmation, and taking in the good 47:30: The Buddhist conception of the self 53:40: Living in direct experience, and basic trust 56:50: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Get Headspace FREE for 60 days. Go to Headspace.com/BEINGWELL60 to unlock all of Headspace FREE for 60 days. Head to fastgrowingtrees.com/BEINGWELL to get 15% off the best deals for your yard. Use BEINGWELL at checkout, and take advantage of their Alive and Thrive Guarantee! Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.  Get 15% off OneSkin with the code BEINGWELL at https://www.oneskin.co/  Go to ZOE.com and find out what ZOE Membership could do for you. Use code WELL10 to get 10% off membership. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

BONUS: NVC, Walking Towards Conflict with Love With Maria Arpa and Bob Marshall In this BONUS episode, we explore Nonviolent Communication (NVC), a powerful tool that has changed how many people work and relate to family, friends, and colleagues. Maria Arpa, a previous guest on the podcast, and who studied directly under Marshall Rosenberg, the creator of NVC, shares her insights on this transformative practice. Joining us is Bob Marshall, an NVC advocate and practitioner who applies these principles in organizational settings. Understanding the Foundation of Nonviolent Communication "We have universal needs... what we try to distinguish is the need and the strategy I'm using to meet the need." Nonviolent Communication is both a practical communication tool and a spiritual practice designed to help us connect more authentically with ourselves and others. Maria explains how NVC emerged from the work of Dr. Marshall Rosenberg, who studied under Carl Rogers, the developer of person-centered therapy. At its core, NVC represents a paradigm shift away from what Maria calls "domination culture" – a system built on hierarchy, punishment, and obedience to rules. The dominant culture in which we live often relies on fear, guilt, and shame to motivate behavior. In contrast, NVC comes from the philosophy of nonviolence, encouraging people to be independent thinkers who make choices from their own internal compass. This approach recognizes that all people have the potential to manifest love, even in challenging situations. The Power of Needs-Based Theory "If I take a need for fairness or respect... how many ways are there to meet that need? And what if you believe you're meeting your need for fairness using whatever strategy you're using, and I believe that is impacting on my need for respect? We have a collision in strategies." A fundamental aspect of NVC is needs-based theory. Maria explains that while we all share universal needs – from basic physical requirements like air and food to psychological needs like creativity, recognition, and fairness – conflicts arise not from the needs themselves but from the strategies we use to meet those needs. This distinction between needs and strategies offers a powerful framework for resolving conflicts. When we understand that we're arguing over strategies, not the underlying needs, we can empathize with each other and explore different approaches that honor everyone's needs. As Maria advises, "Don't try to strategize until you understand all the needs on the table." Breaking Free from the Debate Model "The debate model of conversation is about one argument prevailing over all others... it's a terrible idea for when we want to meet as humans and have a conversation." Maria highlights how our society has embraced the debate model of conversation, where one perspective must win over others. This approach, while potentially useful in controlled settings like scientific research, creates significant problems in human interactions. When operating in debate mode, we're focused on overpowering others or protecting ourselves from humiliation rather than genuinely connecting. The dialogue roadmap that Maria developed offers an alternative to this debate model. It allows people to express themselves fully – to "empty out" everything they're carrying, even if it doesn't initially make coherent sense. This process helps people make sense of their experiences and move toward authentic dialogue rather than competitive debate. NVC in Organizations: Addressing Collective Needs "Needs are getting ignored in most organizations... it's not that we have shared needs and we debate about the strategies for getting those needs met." Bob Marshall, an organizational psychotherapist, explains how NVC principles can transform workplace dynamics. He observes that many organizations operate through "fear, obligation, guilt, and shame" – what he calls "the four horsemen of the work apocalypse." These mechanisms are used to control behavior but create toxic environments that diminish both productivity and well-being. By applying NVC in organizational settings, Bob helps collective entities recognize and address their needs. Many companies are unaware of their collective needs, and some cultures even shame people for acknowledging needs exist. Helping organizations understand their shared needs creates a foundation for healthier, more productive workplaces where people can thrive rather than merely survive. In this segment, we refer to an episode with Michelle Pauk, where we explore the lessons from Foucault's Book Discipline and Punish, and to Manfred Max-Neef, a Chilean economist. The Connection Before Correction Principle "One of the most wonderful things is connection before correction." Maria emphasizes the importance of building relationships before attempting to change behaviors or address problems. She suggests that our fast-paced world has created a situation where our emotional processing cannot keep up with the speed of our actions and decisions. We've become skilled at multitasking and meeting deadlines but haven't paid adequate attention to our emotional needs. The result is that many people are emotionally "backed up" or "constipated" – unable to process their feelings in healthy ways. Maria's work involves slowing things down to create space for authentic connection and emotional integration. This approach doesn't sacrifice efficiency – as she notes, "We get more done with less resource once we've been through the tunnel." Learning Directly from Marshall Rosenberg "Marshall Rosenberg said, 'The people that are going to take this forward will have the right balance of compassionate understanding and political savvy.' And I just went, 'That's me.'" Maria shares her personal journey with NVC, beginning with a chance encounter at her son's school that led her to attend a presentation by Marshall Rosenberg. She was immediately captivated by his approach, which answered questions she had been unable to resolve through other therapies and educational frameworks. Her pivotal experience came in 2005 when she joined Rosenberg and others for a 15-day intensive in Switzerland focused on social change. This immersive experience transformed her understanding of communication and human connection. When she asked Rosenberg who would carry his work forward, his answer about needing both "compassionate understanding and political savvy" resonated deeply with her, setting her on a path to develop her own applications of NVC principles. In this segment, we refer to the book The Surprising Purpose of Anger by Marshall Rosenberg. About Maria Arpa and Bob Marshall Maria Arpa is a facilitator, mediator, and trainer who describes her work as "walking towards conflict with love." She developed the Dialogue Road Map, a framework that builds on NVC principles to guide people out of debate-style conversations into authentic dialogue. Maria studied directly under Dr. Marshall Rosenberg and has applied NVC in various challenging contexts, including working with gang violence and facilitating dialogue between concentration camp survivors and a business that had purchased a former concentration camp site. You can link with Maria Arpa on LinkedIn and follow Maria's work on her website. Bob Marshall is an organizational psychotherapist who works with the collective psyche of organizations. He has been studying and practicing NVC for over 15 years, incorporating it into his work helping organizations understand and meet their collective needs. Bob believes in creating more joyful work environments and has dedicated his career to helping people have more pleasant experiences in the workplace. Bob Marshall is the author of several books on organizational psychotherapy. You can link with Bob Marshall on LinkedIn and follow Bob Marshall's blog.

If you find yourself torn between rationality and spirituality, science and mysticism, facts and belief; The Lectern's inaugural 8-week course will offer you a new lens through which to reflect on these dilemmas. Click here to enroll: https://lectern.teachable.com/p/einstein-and-spinoza-s-god1 “What does it really mean to be authentic, and can this virtue be meaningfully understood and measured across psychology and philosophy?” John Vervaeke, Gregg Henriques and Matthew Schaublin embark on a discussion covering the concept of authenticity. The discussion explores authenticity as one of the premier virtues of modernity, comparing it with autonomy, and tracing its roots through romanticism and existentialism, notably discussing Heidgegger and Kierkegaard. Greg introduces psychological perspectives and client-centered therapy influenced by Carl Rogers, while Matthew shares insights from his empirical research on dispositional authenticity carried out at the University of Chattanooga. The trio also touch on the tensions between self-identification and participation, self-alienation, cognitive fluency, and the societal quest for authenticity, proposing a nuanced and dynamic understanding of the true self. Gregg R. Henriques is an American psychologist. He is a professor for the Combined-Integrated Doctoral Program at James Madison University in Harrisonburg, Virginia, US. Matthew Schaublin is a master's candidate in psychology at the University of Chattanooga, with a four-year research focus on authenticity. His work blends empirical psychology with philosophical and classical inquiry, investigating how dispositional authenticity is expressed and experienced. —- Notes:  0:00 Introduction to the Lectern 0:45 Exploring the Concept of Authenticity 3:30 Greg's Perspective on Authenticity 5:00 Matthew's Research on Dispositional Authenticity 9:00 Theoretical Foundations of Authenticity 12:30 Philosophical and Clinical Perspectives 24:30 Relational and Psychological Dimensions 36:30 The Evolution of Self-Definition in Modernity 38:00 The Greek Roots of Authenticity 39:30 Modeling Authenticity and Personality 43:15 Rationalization and Authenticity 44:45 Tensions in Authenticity: Identification vs. Participation 49:00 The SAFE Model of Authenticity 55:00 Empirical Studies on Authenticity and Agency 1:06:30 Key Takeaways and Future Directions —-- Connect with a community dedicated to self-discovery and purpose, and gain deeper insights by joining our Patreon. https://www.patreon.com/johnvervaeke   The Vervaeke Foundation is committed to advancing the scientific pursuit of wisdom and creating a significant impact on the world. Become a part of our mission. https://vervaekefoundation.org/   Join Awaken to Meaning to explore practices that enhance your virtues and foster deeper connections with reality and relationships. https://awakentomeaning.com/ John Vervaeke:  https://johnvervaeke.com/ https://twitter.com/vervaeke_john  https://www.youtube.com/@johnvervaeke https://www.patreon.com/johnvervaeke   Gregg Henriques: http://www.gregghenriques.com/ https://x.com/henriqgx   Matthew Shaublin: https://www.instagram.com/matthewschaublin/   Ideas, People, and Works Mentioned in this Episode Kierkegaard's Concept of Authenticity Heidegger's Use of ‘Authenticity' Maslow's Theory of Self-Actualization Dispositional Authenticity The SAFE Model of Authenticity Alienation and Cognitive Fluency The Ethics of Authenticity by Charles Taylor On the Concept of Irony and The Sickness Unto Death by Søren Kierkegaard Being and Time by Martin Heidegger On Becoming a Person by Carl Rogers Martin Heidegger Charles Taylor Aristotle Jean-Paul Sartre   Quotes:  ”Like, meaning, like rational, authenticity is not just a descriptive term.” -John Vervaeke (2:00)  ”Inauthentic living… Tough, you know.” -Gregg Henriques (28:30)   

In this episode of the CCPT Purism series, I take you through the foundational role of Virginia Axline in translating Carl Rogers' person-centered theory into what we now know as Child-Centered Play Therapy. Axline worked closely with Rogers and applied his concepts to children by introducing her Eight Principles of Non-Directive Play Therapy—a philosophy describing how we show up and relate to children in session, not a list of techniques or tools. I briefly walk through each of Axline's eight principles, highlight their connections to Rogers' core conditions, and explain how they continue to shape our model today. This episode is a reminder that CCPT isn't something we do—it's a way of being, requiring trust in the child, a release of control, and an unwavering presence. If you practice CCPT, you're not just using Axline's methods—you're carrying on her legacy. PlayTherapyNow.com is my HUB for everything I do! playtherapynow.com. Sign up for my email newsletter, stay ahead with the latest CCPT CEU courses, personalized coaching opportunities and other opportunities you need to thrive in your CCPT practice. If you click one link in these show notes, this is the one to click! If you would like to ask me questions directly, check out www.ccptcollective.com, where I host two weekly Zoom calls filled with advanced CCPT case studies and session reviews, as well as member Q&A. You can take advantage of the two-week free trial to see if the CCPT Collective is right for you. Ask Me Questions: Call ‪(813) 812-5525‬, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com Brenna's CCPT Hub: https://www.playtherapynow.com CCPT Collective (online community exclusively for CCPTs): https://www.ccptcollective.com Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapypodcast.com APT Approved Play Therapy CE courses: https://childcenteredtraining.com Twitter: @thekidcounselor https://twitter.com/thekidcounselor Facebook: https://facebook.com/playtherapypodcast Common References: Cochran, N., Nordling, W., & Cochran, J. (2010). Child-Centered Play Therapy (1st ed.). Wiley. VanFleet, R., Sywulak, A. E., & Sniscak, C. C. (2010). Child-centered play therapy. Guilford Press. Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group. Benedict, Helen. Themes in Play Therapy. Used with permission to Heartland Play Therapy Institute.

Shame does not regulate—it entangles. At the quantum level, gendered shame functions as Thomas Campbell's “holographic glue,” binding humanity to collapsing wavefunctions of patriarchal domination and Lilith's exiled rage. This essay posits that modern gender wars stem not from biology but from epigenetic karmic loops where shame mutates into Hawkins' Level 20 (Guilt/Shame), enslaving men and women in Carl Rogers' “conditions of worth” while their shadows metastasize as Dark Triad pathologies.

In this episode, I continue the CCPT Purism series with a deep dive into the core tenets and core conditions of Child-Centered Play Therapy. I walk through Rogers' foundational ideas—including the tendency to actualize, self-concept, and the organismic valuing process—and explain how these principles shape our understanding of children and the healing power of the therapeutic relationship. I also break down the three core conditions Rogers identified as necessary for growth: unconditional positive regard, empathy, and congruence. These are not techniques to apply—they are ways of being that must be consistently present in our relationships with children. If we want to be CCPT therapists—not just practice CCPT—we have to embody these principles in everything we do. Finally, I challenge you to consider Rogers' tenets and conditions to reflect on where you are in your own CCPT journey and how to move closer to full alignment with the model. Episode References: Rogers, C. R. (1951). Client-centered therapy: Its current practice, implications and theory. Boston, MA: Houghton Mifflin. Rogers, C. R. (1961). On becoming a person: A therapist's view of psychotherapy. Boston, MA: Houghton Mifflin. Rogers, C. R. (1980). A way of being. Boston, MA: Houghton Mifflin. Kirschenbaum, H., & Henderson, V. L. (Eds.). (1990). The Carl Rogers reader. Boston, MA: Houghton Mifflin. Thorne, B. (2003). Carl Rogers (2nd ed.). London, UK: SAGE Publications. Mearns, D., & Thorne, B. (2007). Person-centred counselling in action (3rd ed.). London, UK: SAGE Publications. Cooper, M., O'Hara, M., Schmid, P. F., & Bohart, A. C. (Eds.). (2013). The handbook of person-centered psychotherapy and counseling (2nd ed.). London, UK: Palgrave Macmillan.   CCPT Training! LIVE, APT-approved Advanced "4-Pillars" CEU Training (Reflecting Feelings, Choice-Giving, Encouragement, Limit-Setting) Series Starting Friday March 28th Through April 11th, 2025 PlayTherapyNow.com is my HUB for everything I do! playtherapynow.com. Sign up for my email newsletter, stay ahead with the latest CCPT CEU courses, personalized coaching opportunities and other opportunities you need to thrive in your CCPT practice. If you click one link in these show notes, this is the one to click! If you would like to ask me questions directly, check out www.ccptcollective.com, where I host two weekly Zoom calls filled with advanced CCPT case studies and session reviews, as well as member Q&A. You can take advantage of the two-week free trial to see if the CCPT Collective is right for you. Ask Me Questions: Call ‪(813) 812-5525‬, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com Brenna's CCPT Hub: https://www.playtherapynow.com CCPT Collective (online community exclusively for CCPTs): https://www.ccptcollective.com Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapypodcast.com APT Approved Play Therapy CE courses: https://childcenteredtraining.com Twitter: @thekidcounselor https://twitter.com/thekidcounselor Facebook: https://facebook.com/playtherapypodcast Common References: Cochran, N., Nordling, W., & Cochran, J. (2010). Child-Centered Play Therapy (1st ed.). Wiley. VanFleet, R., Sywulak, A. E., & Sniscak, C. C. (2010). Child-centered play therapy. Guilford Press. Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group. Benedict, Helen. Themes in Play Therapy. Used with permission to Heartland Play Therapy Institute.

In this episode, I kick off a brand new series: CCPT Purism—a deep dive into what it truly means to be a pure Child-Centered Play Therapist. I've seen a growing trend where therapists think they are practicing CCPT, but in reality, they've drifted from full adherence to the model. This series is about going back to the foundations—understanding where CCPT came from, why it matters, and how to ensure we are practicing in full alignment with its core principles. We start by looking at Carl Rogers and his revolutionary shift from psychoanalytic and behavioral approaches to person-centered therapy. Rogers' belief in self-actualization, client autonomy, and the healing power of the therapeutic relationship paved the way for CCPT. I explore how these core ideas challenged traditional therapy and why our role is not to fix, direct, or control—but to provide a space where healing naturally unfolds. Episode References: Rogers, C. R. (1951). Client-Centered Therapy: Its Current Practice, Implications, and Theory. Boston: Houghton Mifflin. Rogers, C. R. (1961). On Becoming a Person: A Therapist's View of Psychotherapy. Boston: Houghton Mifflin. Rogers, C. R. (1980). A Way of Being. Boston: Houghton Mifflin. Kirschenbaum, H., & Henderson, V. L. (Eds.). (1990). The Carl Rogers Reader. Boston: Houghton Mifflin. Thorne, B. (1992). Carl Rogers (Key Figures in Counselling and Psychotherapy series). London: Sage Publications. Carl Rogers Biography - Person Centred Therapy. (n.d.). Counselling Tutor. Retrieved from https://counsellingtutor.com/biography-of-carl-rogers/ Carl Rogers' Theory. (n.d.). Counselling Tutor. Retrieved from https://counsellingtutor.com/counselling-approaches/person-centred-approach-to-counselling/carl-rogers-theory/ Virginia Association for Play Therapy 2025 Annual Conference March 7-8, 2025 PlayTherapyNow.com is my HUB for everything I do! playtherapynow.com. Sign up for my email newsletter, stay ahead with the latest CCPT CEU courses, personalized coaching opportunities and other opportunities you need to thrive in your CCPT practice. If you click one link in these show notes, this is the one to click! If you would like to ask me questions directly, check out www.ccptcollective.com, where I host two weekly Zoom calls filled with advanced CCPT case studies and session reviews, as well as member Q&A. You can take advantage of the two-week free trial to see if the CCPT Collective is right for you. Ask Me Questions: Call ‪(813) 812-5525‬, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com Brenna's CCPT Hub: https://www.playtherapynow.com CCPT Collective (online community exclusively for CCPTs): https://www.ccptcollective.com Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapypodcast.com APT Approved Play Therapy CE courses: https://childcenteredtraining.com Twitter: @thekidcounselor https://twitter.com/thekidcounselor Facebook: https://facebook.com/playtherapypodcast Common References: Cochran, N., Nordling, W., & Cochran, J. (2010). Child-Centered Play Therapy (1st ed.). Wiley. VanFleet, R., Sywulak, A. E., & Sniscak, C. C. (2010). Child-centered play therapy. Guilford Press. Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group. Benedict, Helen. Themes in Play Therapy. Used with permission to Heartland Play Therapy Institute.

Selvrealisering representerer en grunnstein i humanistisk psykologi, en retning som ser på mennesket som mer enn summen av sine deler eller produkter av sin fortid. Humanister som Abraham Maslow og Carl Rogers fokuserte på menneskets potensial for vekst, behovet for mening, og søken etter selvaktualisering. I denne sammenhengen blir Scott Barry Kaufmans bok, "Transcend: The New Science of Self-Actualization", et moderne ekko av disse tidlige humanistiske ideene, og utvider dem med nyere forskning og perspektiver. Dagens episode skal reflektere over hvordan konseptet «selvrealisering», belyst gjennom humanistisk psykologi og Kaufmans arbeid, kan tjene som en veiviser for personlig vekst. Vi skal innom de ulike nivåene i det klassiske behovshierarkiet, men også videre opp i kosmisk bevissthet, hva nå det egentlig er for noe. Velkommen skal du være!Maslows Hierarki av BehovMaslows teori om selvrealisering er kanskje best kjent gjennom hans hierarki av behov, en pyramide som begynner med de mest grunnleggende fysiologiske nødvendighetene og bygger opp til toppen av selvrealisering. Maslow hevdet at før et individ kan engasjere seg i selvrealisering, må mer grunnleggende behov som sikkerhet, kjærlighet og tilhørighet, og anerkjennelse tilfredsstilles. Selvrealisering blir sett på som det høyeste uttrykket for menneskelig motivasjon, der en person streber etter å realisere sitt fulle potensial og engasjere seg i meningsfulle og selvutvidende aktiviteter.Kaufmans TransendensScott Barry Kaufman bygger videre på Maslows fundament i sin bok "Transcend". Kaufman foreslår en oppdatert modell av behovshierarkiet som inkluderer en ny topp: transendens. I Kaufmans øyne er selvrealisering ikke sluttmålet, men heller et springbrett mot en tilstand av transendens, der individet streber etter å bidra til noe større enn seg selv. Dette skiftet reflekterer en utvikling i humanistisk psykologi som anerkjenner verdien av fellesskap og tilknytning til noe større, i tillegg til individets interne vekst.Vekst som MenneskeMaslows og Kaufmans arbeid sammen antyder at vekst som menneske ikke er en lineær eller selvsentrert prosess, men snarere en dynamisk utvikling mot å forstå og transcendere egne grenser til fordel for et større hele. Dette perspektivet utfordrer oss til å se utover oss selv og våre umiddelbare behov, og å vurdere hvordan våre handlinger og streben etter selvaktualisering kan bidra til velferden til samfunnet og menneskeheten som helhet.Humanistisk Psykologi som VeiviserHumanistisk psykologi, med sitt fokus på menneskets potensial for vekst og behovet for mening, tilbyr et kraftfullt rammeverk for personlig utvikling. Det understreker viktigheten av selvrefleksjon, ærlighet med seg selv, og en åpenhet for endring. Ved å anerkjenne våre iboende styrker og svakheter, kan vi bedre navigere i livets utfordringer og muligheter for vekst.Implementering i Daglig LivFor å vokse som menneske i lys av disse ideene, kan vi begynne med å kultivere en dypere selvforståelse og bevissthet om våre egne behov og ønsker. Praktisering av mindfulness og selvrefleksjon kan hjelpe oss med å identifisere våre dypere formål og verdier. Videre kan engasjement i kreative og meningsfulle aktiviteter bidra til vår følelse av selvrealisering og til slutt lede oss mot transendens.KonklusjonSelvrealisering, som sett gjennom linsen av humanistisk psykologi og utvidet av Scott Barry Kaufman, tilbyr en rik og flerdimensjonal tilnærming til personlig vekst. Ved å anerkjenne både vårt behov for selvaktualisering og vårt potensial for å transcendere disse personlige ambisjonene til fordel for et større fellesskap, tilbyr humanistisk psykologi en veiviser for de som søker å utvide sin forståelse av seg selv og sin plass i verden. Få tilgang til ALT ekstramateriale som medlem på SinnSyns Mentale Helsestudio via SinnSyn-appen her: https://www.webpsykologen.no/et-mentalt-helsestudio-i-lomma/ eller som Patreon-Medlem her: https://www.patreon.com/sinnsyn. For reklamefri pod og bonus-episoder kan du bli SinnSyn Pluss abonnent her https://plus.acast.com/s/sinnsyn. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Navigating the new unknown, anyone? In this episode, we welcome Chetna Lawless, a modern day mystic, healer, and shaman. Having embraced her intuitive gifts since childhood, Chetna discusses the importance of meditation in accessing intuitive abilities and details her journey through various cultural experiences, including Japan, which profoundly affected her meditative practices. We delve into the relationship between meditation, shamanic work, and personal transformation, offering practical advice for those starting their meditation journey. Chetna emphasizes the role of stillness, the transformative potential of personal inquiry, and how meditation helps in navigating life's chaos. She also shares insights on spiritual growth, manifestation, and the importance of tuning into one's inner voice and intuitive self.About Chetna:WebsiteReach out to Chetna hereResources discussed in this episode:Who is Sandra Ingerman?What is Shamanism?What is Japanese Shinto Religion?Osho's Kundalini MeditationWho is Carl Rogers?Who is Hank Wesselman?Ways to connect with Masako:Let's meditate together on InsightTimer!Why not meditate? FB Groupwhynotmeditate.podcast IGmasakozawa_coaching IGWebsiteSupport the show

How to Stop Self-Sabotage & Reclaim Your Power when Your Partner Won't Change -with Dr. Ray Doktor In this episode, Lora Cheadle welcomes Dr. Ray Doktor, a life and relationship coach, to explore the deep emotional work required to heal from betrayal. Together, they unpack why men often struggle to express emotions, how women can stop waiting for a partner's “potential,” and the self-sabotaging patterns that keep people stuck. Top 3 Takeaways: Healing Starts with You – Infidelity shakes your sense of self, but recovery begins by turning inward and rebuilding your relationship with yourself. Wishful Thinking vs. Reality – Many women hold onto their partner's “potential,” but true healing comes from accepting who they really are, not who you wish they could be. Men and Emotional Avoidance – Many men avoid deep emotional work, opting for quick-fix pleasure (cheating, drinking, distractions) over true healing. A thriving relationship requires both partners to grow together. Bio: Ray Doktor, Psy. D. works as a modern day relationship & rapid breakthrough coach. For the last 25 years, he's successfully helped over 6k clients breakthrough limited beliefs and challenges to have better relationships, improved family life, and more success! A pioneer in the field of bridging psychology and Eastern philosophies to technologies, science, and spirituality, Dr. Ray has conducted workshops in the United States, Netherlands, Brazil, and England. He shared the same stages with Marianne Williamson, Bruce Lipton, John Gray, and Eckhart Tolle. Dr. Ray received his doctoral degree in clinical psychology, earned a master's degree in counseling psychology, and an undergraduate degree in human behavior. Other advanced training includes: hypnotherapy, Gestalt therapy, guided imagery, Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), Neuro-linguistic programming (NLP), qigong, PSYCH-K, meditation, sound healing, and somatic experience. His most profound mentorship involved traveling the world and assisting renowned psychologist Dr. Morris Netherton–a pioneer in his field and colleague of Fritz Perls, Carl Rogers, and Norm Shealy. And yes, his real last name is Doktor. Everyone gets a laugh about it, so he is used to it. Ready to heal your body and mind after betrayal? Download your free Betrayal Recovery Toolkit at BetrayalRecoveryGuide.com and book a complimentary 30-minute consultation with Lora today! Special Announcement! Don't miss Lora Cheadle's new book, "It's Not Burnout, It's Betrayal: 5 Tools to FUEL UP & Thrive," This essential guide differentiates between burnout and betrayal, offering five transformative steps to recovery. Available on Amazon. www.itsnotburnoutitsbetrayal.com Get your free downloadable guide on the “The Top Three Ways You Betray Yourself Every Day, and How to Stop” at www.burnoutorbetrayal.com. If you're ready to Rise Up & Reign as the creator and queen of your life, let's talk. I will walk by your side and give you the perspective, permission, and wisdom needed to turn your betrayal experience into something constructive, empowering, and transformative in all the right ways.  Learn more at www.loracheadle.com and follow me across all social! Download your Sparkle After Betrayal Recovery Guide at www.BetrayalRecoveryGuide.com, a guide designed to help you take the first steps in feeling better, so you can reclaim your power, own your worth, and start putting yourself, and your life, back together again. About Lora: Lora Cheadle is a betrayal recovery coach, attorney, and TEDx speaker who helps women heal from betrayal on an energetic, emotional, and ancestral level—while also providing legal guidance to help them navigate the practical complexities of infidelity and relationship transitions. She empowers women to rise from the ashes, reclaim their identity and self-worth, break free from repeating patterns, and step into their power with confidence, clarity, and grace. After being shattered by her husband's fifteen years of infidelity, Lora knows firsthand what it takes to transform devastation into an invitation for healing, freedom, and joy. Her unique approach blends deep emotional healing with tangible legal and life strategies, guiding women beyond betrayal into lives of unapologetic confidence and purpose. As the founder of Life Choreography Coaching & Advocacy, Lora provides comprehensive legal, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual support on demand. She believes that infidelity doesn't have to be the end of the dream you poured your heart and soul into—it can be the beginning of a life filled with sovereignty, connection, and joy. Licensed to practice law in California and Colorado, Lora is also a trauma-aware coach, clinical hypnotherapist, somatic attachment therapist, and advanced integrated energy practitioner. She is certified in yoga, mindfulness, group fitness, and personal training, bringing a holistic perspective to healing. She is the author of FLAUNT! Drop Your Cover and Reveal Your Smart, Sexy, & Spiritual Self (an International Book Awards Finalist and Tattered Cover Bestseller) and It's Not Burnout, It's Betrayal: 5 Tools to FUEL UP & Thrive. She also hosts the podcast FLAUNT! Create a Life You Love After Infidelity and Betrayal. Based in Colorado, Lora is an adventure-seeker who loves travel, a great book, and saying yes to life's magic. Get the support you need to find your footing, begin making sense of it all, and feel better fast. As an attorney, betrayal recovery expert, and survivor of infidelity I can help you find the clarity and confidence to create a life that you love on the other side of betrayal. Book Your Session Here: https://calendly.com/loras-schedule/coaching-session Thank you to BetterHelp for sponsoring this podcast! Take charge of your mental health and get 10% off your first month of therapy at https://BetterHelp.com/FLAUNT  READY TO START A BETTER CHAPTER?  Step into the future you've always dreamed of with the power of transformative rituals with the Mindful Subscription Box. Get a monthly box full of crystals, aromatherapy, and other spiritual tools worth $120. You deserve high-quality gems, crystals, oils, and mindfulness tools for self-care that truly work. It's a monthly dose of self-love delivered right to your door! Go to www.Mindfulsouls.com  and use Discount Code LORA25 for 25% off your order!

En Ivoox puedes encontrar sólo algunos de los audios de Mindalia. Para escuchar las 4 grabaciones diarias que publicamos entra en https://www.mindaliatelevision.com. Si deseas ver el vídeo perteneciente a este audio, pincha aquí: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HgETDCsMBzA&t=27s A menudo las personas con relaciones tormentosas creen que tienen mala suerte o culpan al otro de todos sus fracasos. Es necesario entender que, nuestras relaciones de pareja, son un reflejo de heridas inconscientes que están en nosotros y que condicionan nuestras elecciones. Para dejar de sufrir con tus relaciones es necesario que el cambio empiece en ti. Berta Fernández Licenciada en Filosofía, con formación en Terapia Gestalt y terapia Sistémica Familiar. Especialista en Psicoterapia Centrada en la persona de Carl Rogers. https://bertafernandez.com/ / berta.relacionesdespiertas https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?... #RelacionesDePareja #CrecimientoPersonal #DesarrolloPersonal Más información en: https://www.mindalia.com/television/ PARTICIPA CON TUS COMENTARIOS EN ESTE VÍDEO. -----------INFORMACIÓN SOBRE MINDALIA--------- Mindalia.com es una ONG internacional, sin ánimo de lucro, que difunde universalmente contenidos sobre espiritualidad y bienestar para la mejora de la consciencia del mundo. Apóyanos con tu donación en: https://www.mindalia.com/donar/ Suscríbete, comenta positivamente y comparte nuestros vídeos para difundir este conocimiento a miles de personas. Nuestro sitio web: https://www.mindalia.com SÍGUENOS TAMBIÉN EN NUESTRAS PLATAFORMAS Facebook: / mindalia.ayuda Instagram: / mindalia_com Twitch: / mindaliacom Odysee: https://odysee.com/@Mindalia.com *Mindalia.com no se hace responsable de las opiniones vertidas en este vídeo, ni necesariamente participa de ellas.

(0:00) Intro(1:35) About the podcast sponsor: The American College of Governance Counsel(2:21) Start of interview(3:00) Jonathan's origin story(5:10) His start in journalism(7:05) Founding Monitor Canada with Roger Martin (1987)(9:43) Transitioning to Deloitte Monitor (2013) (12:18) About Deloitte Canada's Podium Club for Directors that he leads.(13:38) How Trump's tariffs may impact Canada (note: this podcast was recorded on 1/24, before tariffs went into place)(17:57) What is strategy? "I think of strategy as choice"(20:20) The role of the board in strategy. "The best CEOs seek advice from their boards, not a grade"(25:39) The questions board members ask matter. "The question is the asset" "Ask questions and question the answers" (30:40) Rethinking Board Information Approaches *Reference to Netflix board case study(33:30) Embracing Uncertainty and Risk(37:55) Private vs. Public Strategy Dynamics(42:10) The Role of Culture and Talent in Strategy (scope of company founders)(46:55) Key Strategic Priorities for Directors (beyond idiosyncrasies of each company): 1) Geopolitics; 2) Technological Shifts (AI, Cyber, etc); and 3) Talent (Workforce and People).(53:10) Books that have greatly influenced his life:Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand (1957)The Final Days by Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein (1976)On Becoming a Person by Carl Rogers (1961)(55:58) His mentors.(56:41) Quotes that he thinks of often or lives his life by. Jonathan Goodman is a vice Chair and member of the board of Deloitte Canada, where he leads the firm's CEO and Boardroom programs, including Deloitte Canada's Podium Club for Directors.  He is also Global Chair and former global Managing Partner of Monitor Deloitte. You can follow Evan on social media at:X: @evanepsteinLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/epsteinevan/ Substack: https://evanepstein.substack.com/__To support this podcast you can join as a subscriber of the Boardroom Governance Newsletter at https://evanepstein.substack.com/__Music/Soundtrack (found via Free Music Archive): Seeing The Future by Dexter Britain is licensed under a Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 United States License

Greg and Anna McKeown discuss the art of listening, exploring its transformative power in relationships. They discuss a pivotal moment from their dating history where effective listening shifted their connection and emphasized how empathic communication fosters understanding. Drawing insights from Carl Rogers' listening techniques, they share personal anecdotes about applying these principles in family dynamics and their marriage. Join my weekly newsletter. Learn more about my books and courses. Join The Essentialism Academy. Follow me on LinkedIn, Instagram, X, Facebook, and YouTube.

On this week's Keepin It Real, Cam reacts to a text from a friend about the hopelessness she feels today as a result of the new presidential administration. There are two sides to this, Cam says. And the healing must begin within. But it won't be easy. ----- There are those of you listening right now filled with anxiety and rage. You can't believe our nation is full of people who care so little for truth, honesty, and compassion. You can't believe that you know people, lots of people, who are willing to abandon truth, honesty, and compassion to win. This is not how you were taught to live as a child. These are not the lessons of Aesop's fables. There is nothing in the New Testament that says this is Ok. However, there are others of you out there equally mystified. “How can you not want this?” you're asking. How can you not see that our future, both each of us individually and as a nation, will be better? We're returning to dominance. We're getting rid of the cheaters and the thieves who have slipped in and are stealing opportunity from you and me. We're making them pay. We're righting wrongs. This is what this nation is about. This is who we are. We've strayed and we're now, finally, returning to who we should be. How can you not see this? No argument from either of you will win. No data will convince either of you of anything. No clever wording. No quoting the constitution. No biblical chapter or verse. Deadlocked. Both sides deadlocked. Anxiety and rage. Both sides. Dr Carl Rogers was an American Psychologist who, in 1982, was listed as the most influential psychotherapist in history. Of his many accomplishments, there is one practice of his that I'm using – well, that I'm trying to use – in my interactions with others. It's called Unconditional Positive Regard. It's a framework for listening and helping even with those whose opinions are diametrically opposite our own. It's a learned discipline and it's not easy. Unconditional Positive Regard assumes that this person in front of each of us has worth, this person in front of us can grow, they can change, they're eager to learn, they're curious, they are a person of value. Unconditional Positive Regard. You can see how this powerful outlook can benefit a therapist in their interactions with patients. You can see how someone hoping to pull the best out of another person, who still has hope for the other person, could and perhaps SHOULD engage them with a mindset of unconditional positive regard. It's hard, though. It's very hard. Especially when what some of you have seen of others brings this quote to mind: “When you worship power, compassion and mercy will look like sins.” To many of you that's what it looks like out there today. It's obvious to say, but compassion is not a sin. Mercy is not a sin. None of us should ever hold back on either. And perhaps for all of you listening right now filled with anxiety and rage, holding each other in unconditional positive regard might be step one in healing…ourselves. I'm Cam Marston, just trying to keep it real.

In this episode, Adam Barfoot, M.Ed., LPC-MHSP, discusses the concept from Stoic philosophy of The Inner Citadel, perseverance, choosing to remain calm in challenging situations, remembering your strength, focusing on what you can control, asking yourself to be strong, how strength is proved through adversity, seeking progress daily, approaching difficulty rather than avoiding it, how fear only wins if we let it win, and the value of choosing courage over fear. Adam's website: https://www.adambarfoottherapy.com/ This episode is Part Three in a series on the Counseling and Functional Fitness podcast focusing on Stoic philosophy, therapy, and fitness. Books mentioned in this episode: Resilience by Eric Greitens, A Way of Being by Carl Rogers, The Count of Monte Christo by Alexandre Dumas, Mastery by Robert Greene, Man's Search For Meaning by Viktor Frankl Email: counselingandfunctionalfitness@gmail.com

Who is Kim?Kim Morgan is a dynamic individual driven by a profound desire to facilitate change in people's lives. Through introspection and thoughtful inquiry, she discovered a unifying theme among those she engages with: a shared aspiration to transform aspects of their lives, careers, and relationships. Kim is passionate about helping others break free from repetitive patterns and Groundhog Day scenarios that hinder personal growth. Whether it's boosting confidence, altering behaviors, or achieving health and well-being goals, Kim is committed to empowering individuals to make meaningful, lasting changes. Her insightful approach inspires others to break the cycle and embrace a renewed sense of self as they strive for improvement.Key Takeaways05:33 Insightful analysis of targeting business offerings effectively.09:08 Unintended consequences complicate scientific research processes.12:50 Self-consistency theory explains resisting personal change.17:22 Discussed reluctance to chase clients for payment.20:18 Choose between unchanged future or transformation chair.23:00 Properly planning takes time, also benefits business.24:50 Visualize failure to prevent project mistakes._________________________________________________________________________________________________Subscribe to our newsletter and get details of when we are doing these interviews live at https://TCA.fyi/newsletterFind out more about being a guest at : link.thecompleteapproach.co.uk/beaguestSubscribe to the podcast at https://link.thecompleteapproach.co.uk/podcastHelp us get this podcast in front of as many people as possible. Leave a nice five-star review at apple podcasts : https://link.thecompleteapproach.co.uk/apple-podcasts and on YouTube : https://link.thecompleteapproach.co.uk/Itsnotrocketscienceatyt!Here's how you can bring your business to THE next level:If you are a business owner currently turning over £/$10K - £/$50K per month and want to grow to £/$100K - £/$500k per month download my free resource on everything you need to grow your business on a single page :It's a detailed breakdown of how you can grow your business to 7-figures in a smart and sustainable wayhttps://scientificvaluebuildingmachine.online/————————————————————————————————————————————-TranscriptNote, this was transcribed using a transcription software and may not reflect the exact words used in the podcast)SUMMARY KEYWORDSKim Morgan, coaching journey, personal development, NLP, Freudian psychotherapy, Carl Rogers, humanistic therapy, coaching course, Nancy Cline, Time to Think, active listening, team communication, family estrangement, research, podcast, Stuart Webb, It's Not Rocket Science, client transformation, CEO coaching, relationship change, confidence building, behavior patterns, mindset shift, technical difficulties, payment reluctance, leadership style, vision chairs exercise, premortem technique, business planning, neurobiological patterns.SPEAKERSKim Morgan, Stuart WebbStuart Webb [00:00:31]:Hi, and welcome back to It's Not Rocket Science 5 questions over coffee. I better not show you the logo on this particular mug it's advertising. Kim, have you got something refreshing in front of me or isKim Morgan [00:00:43]:it just I'm sorry. I forgot it was meant to be coffee.Stuart Webb [00:00:48]:Oh, wellKim Morgan [00:00:48]:water. It's 5 questions over water.Stuart Webb [00:00:52]:It's 5 questions over water or any other drink, gin, is also acceptable, I'm sure. But anyway, I'm really delighted to be today in front of Kim Morgan. Kim is an exceptional, coach. She has over 25 years of experience in working in coaching, and and she believes that, that her using the coaching methods that she's been working, she's she's worked with CEOs. We've worked with parents. She's worked with families, and she believes in the power of coaching. It has a unique, insight into coaching. So, Kim, I'm really delighted to to be here in front of you today talking to you about this.Stuart Webb [00:01:28]:So thank you for make making a few minutes to come onto It's Not Rocket Science, 5 questions over whatever drink you have in front of you.Kim Morgan [00:01:37]:Thank you, Stuart. I'm thrilled to be here. We made it after a coupleStuart Webb [00:01:42]:of boardKim Morgan [00:01:42]:starts, didn't we?Stuart Webb [00:01:43]:We did. We did. Pim, let's start with let's start with that coaching. Let's start with, who it is you're trying to help. We've mentioned CEOs. We've mentioned families. We've mentioned parents. You know, what is the sort of the the thing that that brings those people? What's the the problem they have, the the issue that they have that that you are looking to help them to to resolve?Kim Morgan [00:02:08]:Do you know, Stuart, this is such a good question. Yeah. I, yeah, I had advanced warning of this question, and and it just threw me actually because I immediately went to you're right. We provide coaching in so many contexts. We provide it in house. We provide it to individuals. We we teach coaches how to coach. So I was like, well, there isn't a client.Kim Morgan [00:02:33]:But it was just a really good business question because it forced me to think, yeah, what do they all have in common? What do they all share that brings us? So so thank you for that. It was it was really helpful. So I I came to the conclusion that it is they all want to make a change. But, you know, it's it's as general as that, but they all want to make a change which will improve their lives, their career, their relationships, how they feel about themselves. And those changes include, you know, anything you could think of, but confidence changed their behaviors, their repeating patterns, those things that go, oh, here I I am again. You know? It's Groundhog Day. I thought I sorted this, but I'm back again in this familiar place. Might be health, well-being, that sense of, you know, every new year, we write those resolutions that we aren't gonna walk 10,000 steps a day, and then it's the 31st December and we haven't.Kim Morgan [00:03:39]:So, finances, levels of assertiveness, their leadership style, how they manage, their business performance. It can be anything, but they want to change it for the better. That's what Kim,Stuart Webb [00:03:52]:I love that.Kim Morgan [00:03:53]:Unifies all of them.Stuart Webb [00:03:55]:I'm so glad you've done that. Thank you. I'm so glad you were able to clarify it.Stuart Webb [00:05:33]:I'm delighted you can hear me again. Let me just go back to what you're saying, Kim, because I think it's brilliant insight. And it's one of those things that I I spent I spent a lot of my time with business owners who who tell me they can they can work with anybody or they tell me their their product is absolutely, appropriate for everyone. And they don't do what you've just done, which is actually truly drill down and think of the one thing that they're trying to do to understand exactly therefore how they can make their pitch, make their service or product really, appropriate for the person they're trying to fit people. Yeah. And so glad that you you were able to show how effective a question that one was by actually sort of doing that analysis.Kim Morgan [00:06:20]:So thank you. I'm nothing if not obedient. I take questions very seriously.Stuart Webb [00:06:27]:I like that very much. Okay, Kim. So let's get back on track. You've done a great job of of identifying what it is that who it is that you're trying to to talk to. So let me just understand now. You've got this this this person. What is it they've tried to do, before coming to an expert like you to try to, understand what it is that you can do to help them?Kim Morgan [00:06:52]:So I think they've tried to change. I think they've tried all the usual things. You know, maybe they've bought a self help book or a business book. Maybe they've been on some training courses. Maybe they've just set themselves some goals and bought a journal, and and I'm not knocking any of those things. Those things are all valuable things to do in the process. But I think what they don't know is just how complex and sophisticated and challenging making real lasting change particularly to our very ingrained sort of beliefs and behaviors can be. And I I think most people kind of assume that if we decide to make a change, we follow the required steps, and the change will follow.Kim Morgan [00:07:50]:But you know what we know, and this is where I think coaches really come in, and certainly, I hope most coaches operate in this way. I know barefoot coaches do because this is what we really sort of major on, a deep understanding of how change happens and how it doesn't happen. So the factors that bring about change and also the complexity of our kind of neurobiological, psychological, familial, physical, historical patterns of behavior that just become entrenched. And despite the best of intentions, like I said before, we just, like, find ourselves reverting in, like, simp you know, in the most simplest ways, trying to brush our teeth with the other hands is almost impossible. So think about trying to completely change your leadership style from, like, very people pleasing to slightly more authoritative or vice versa. It's really hard to do without knowing everything you need to do to be able to do it. So that I think that's where we come in.Stuart Webb [00:09:08]:And I think that's a really great summary of what some most people find themselves in because, you know, the the the problem that we all face, of course, is as you've said. You know, I look back at my history, my history as a a scientist. When I think about some of the experiments that I was trying to do when I was still a simple simple scientist working my way through the the various bits of the the cell that I was working on and the the interactions, you can never see quite what the unintended consequences of certain actions are, can you? No. You you make one simple change and it was the basis of sort of scientific research. You make a change and you go, well, I didn't expect that. That's just completely, completely blown me. And now I've got to think of a reason why that's happened then, test whether that's going to happen again. And that's quite a complicated thing when you're dealing with just, you know, what I was dealing with, which was simple bits of cells and DNA and viruses.Stuart Webb [00:10:02]:But Yeah. But you're dealing with an entire human being and the way that they interact internally and with the whole of the world.Kim Morgan [00:10:08]:Yeah. And it it's really huge. You've just made me remember a client years ago who had, a strong regional accent, and this was a long time ago back in the day when organisations used to say, if you want to get on around here, young man, you're gonna have to get some elocution lessons. So he did. He trotted off to get some elocution lessons and gradually sort of practiced and came home, to his family and started speaking in a really plummy voice. But, actually, they all fell about laughing. They didn't support it at all. None of his friends did.Kim Morgan [00:10:48]:A simple example like that, made him just give up because he didn't want his family treating him in that way. You know, even something that was quite easy to change, there are external forces that oppose it, but there are also so many internal forces. As a scientist, you probably know the term homeostasis, do you? I do. Which you can probably explain it better than I can, but it's been adopted by coaching, which is any kind of systems' tendency to revert to a set state. So is that about right?Stuart Webb [00:11:31]:That's about right. That's about right.Kim Morgan [00:11:33]:Thank you. So my best example is our temperature. Whether it is boiling hot outside or in the Arctic, our body will be looking to maintain our temperature at at, you know, that, ideal temperature. And exactly the same happens with our behaviors. In spite of all the kind of actions that we do, we will find ourselves reverting to what's familiar. And I've worked as a therapist. I've worked with families. I've worked with families where there have been year long kind of interventions to stop the patterns of behaviors in the families where they all have their role, you know, the placator, the the kind of aggressor, the person who just sits there and doesn't participate in it all.Kim Morgan [00:12:25]:Lots of work. Lots of times after all that intervention, they go home and almost as if by magic, they slot back into those places that are so familiar. So this is what we're battling against, really. It's often also called self consistency theory. And if I can just, like, share a few more examples fromStuart Webb [00:12:49]:research Please do.Kim Morgan [00:12:50]:Research from self consistency theory. There's there, are, you know, there are lots of studies of people who've won the lottery. Not all of them do this, but there's a real been a real tendency for people who've come into lots of money to suddenly, you know, go about losing it, almost unconsciously wanting to get back to what they know, the world that they know. I there was a study out recently about, weight loss in, weight loss programs, and there's a 97% recidivism rate. So after doing all that, 97% of people go back to where they once were, and some and some even put on a bit more weight than that too. Couples and family therapy, you know, the same thing. I've already mentioned it. So so this is what we're battling against, and that's why even if you're trying to make a change, you you just don't know that all this stuff is going on inside you, and a coach will be able to help you.Kim Morgan [00:13:55]:I I often say that a coach when people say, how do you describe coaching? There's lots of there's lots of sort of, you know, fairly dry, explanations of coaching. But the one that I landed on years ago was, like, being a business book or a self development book that's come to life that actually holds your feet to the fire. That tells you, you know, and makes you do those exercises.Stuart Webb [00:14:22]:Yes. And it's so important, isn't it? And you you talk about weight loss. I mean, it there are so many factors which actually begin to sort of play into that space. You you know, there's evidence that it's not only your psychology, but your body. There are so many things which are fighting against you making that progress. So you you can you you need to you need to have some some way of reflecting on that. You need to have somebody who's helping you to see the unseen. There's a concept that you'll probably know but far better than me, the Johari window, which is where you don't see your own behaviors unless somebody actually sort of points them at you because they're hidden to you.Stuart Webb [00:15:00]:And and and it's that where I think so often there's people who are sort of saying, well, don't worry about we we can get through, but we don't actually see, the the the sort of the thing the impacts we have. And I was saying about, you know, the unintended consequences. So much of what we do have these unintended consequences that we don't even notice, and we do need somebody to help us find them. We do need help somebody to help us work back towards how those, impact upon not only yourself, but on the people that you're hoping to affect.Kim Morgan [00:15:28]:Yeah. Definitely. Definitely. And, you know, these play out too. I I was thinking about coming on to this, podcast today. I was thinking about something that's happened really recently in my own business, actually. Because I would say that, generally, we at, therefore, are people pleasers. We have really strong people pleasing traits.Kim Morgan [00:15:52]:I guess that's why we got into this business. We wanna make people feel better, and we want people to feel good. And that has tremendous advantages in our business because, you know, we build rapport and empathy easily, I hope. But it has downsides too. And this week, the downside really hit me because our, accountant sent me the usual kind of monthly management accounts. And I and for the first time, I really looked at our accounts payable, and our accounts receivables. And I've noticed that we pay people really quickly, and we get paid really slowly. And and and that's not you know, that that's a great example.Kim Morgan [00:16:43]:That's really nothing to do with knowing about accounting because we do. Our own sort of desire to kind of put other people's needs before ours is even showing itself in that way. And and and in addition to that, I noticed that my accountant had mentioned that, you know, quite a few people have owed us money, and she'd said, I I've given them a gentle nudge. And I thought, gentle nudge? Isn't that telling that here we are, our sort of beliefs and behaviors manifesting themselves even in that organizational context?Stuart Webb [00:17:22]:Kim Kim Kim, you you've you've hit up on a you've hit up on a spot that we could spend the rest of this this this week discussing, but I had a discussion with a client recently who turned around to me and said, almost exactly what you've said, which is one of those, oh, I do hate chasing people for money. And I said, would you prefer to just put a note at the bottom of your invoice with keep your money, I don't really want it. And they went, oh, good grief. No. I don't mean that. And I said, you've just told me that's exactly what you've said. You basically said you don't chase them. You would prefer to let them keep the invoice and just not pay it.Stuart Webb [00:17:55]:And and I have to ask the question, where would your business do if everybody did that? And they looked at me as if to say, well, you're just being silly now. But it's exactly what people do, isn't it? They they turn around and go, I've given you my time. I've given you my skills. I've given you my expertise, but I don't really want to charge you for it because that feels dirty. Yeah. I it's nice. Somehow that money is dirty.Kim Morgan [00:18:16]:Yeah. It's really rife, particularly in the sort of helping professions. But but that point that point is really valid for what we're talking about here in terms of, you know, just changing a behavior, doing some training, or reading a book about how to run a business isn't enough unless unless you have somebody help you examine the beliefs and the patterns that are driving your behaviors. And that's where the challenge really happens.Stuart Webb [00:18:48]:Let's turn, I hope, to the thing where we can give some people some, some some free advice. Now, I've put on here a a link to your your podcast and webinars where I believe you've got some fantastic free webinars. That's on barefootcoaching.co.ukforward/podcasthyphen and hyphen webinars. But I believe you've got other giveaways that you are keen to sort of talk to people about. So tell us about the exercise that you are hoping to walk people through.Kim Morgan [00:19:20]:Great. Thank you. So first of all, I'm gonna talk you through this exercise as as sort of carefully and as quickly as I can given the time limitations. But if you want to contactStuart Webb [00:19:33]:I will I will cut I will cut you off when eventually I get bored of listening to you. So I'll try and wrap it up by, try and wrap it up within an hour.Kim Morgan [00:19:42]:Alright. I'll do the same. But, yeah, if people want me to send them the instructions for this, kim@barefootcoaching.co.uk. Well, just write to me. I'll I'll send you a free sort of download of how to do this. But this is one exercise that you can use for yourselves, you can use for others that just really, really works and then and sort of engages you with the consequences of your everyday decisions and behaviors. We call it vision chairs. It's as simple as this.Kim Morgan [00:20:18]:You put I like to put 2 actual chairs in front of myself at some distance away. 2 chairs, and you have in your mind the change that you'd like to make. And you, determine which of those chairs represents a chair of no change. A chair where in 3 or 5 years' time, actually, you never got around to it and things are just as they are today, or a chair of change. The chair that says, I did it. I'm somewhere else. I'm do I'm behaving differently. And you simply look, you know, you first of all, you look at that future chair in 3 years' time where there's no change, and you see what you see.Kim Morgan [00:21:04]:You notice what you notice. Very often, you know, some people go, that'd be okay. You know, I'm fine. But very often, people will go, actually, it hasn't stayed the same. It's got worse. It's got worse because I haven't done anything about my fitness, and therefore, it wouldn't stay the same. If I want to be really kind of brutally challenging to people, I'll keep putting another chair behind that one and another chair behind that one. So, okay, let's look at 10 years' time what the impact will be.Kim Morgan [00:21:35]:I I want to say I've used this really successfully with, sort of things like smoking cessation, and I've also used it highly successfully when working with police forces who wanted women victims of domestic abuse to actually go to court. Because it's challenge it can be challenging in those situations to see where I might be if I don't do anything. But, you know, coaching is about empathetic provocation. It's about ruthless compassion. It's no good going, oh, you're doing really well. It's sometimes we have to, like, show people where their behaviors might take them. So do that. You know, whatever it is, you might go, you know what? It doesn't matter that much or actually, I don't wanna be there.Kim Morgan [00:22:22]:Then come back, look at the other chair, the chair of where you want to be. Not exactly sort of, you know, a a chair of dreams, but a a chair of what could be really possible. See what's different about that future you, go and sit in it, and talk back to yourself today about the steps that you took to get there. So what did you do? Who helped you? What resources did you need? What support? How much, you know, extra learning did you have to do? And how does it feel to be there?Stuart Webb [00:23:00]:Mhmm.Kim Morgan [00:23:00]:And then and and, basically, you know, it takes a long time to do it properly, but the the the you know, that's what you do. You come back to the chair. You look at the 2 chairs and go, what am I gonna do? You know? What am I gonna do? Because I'm kind of seeing my future a bit here. And, it also it doesn't just necessarily work for a change. Can I tell you one more thing? I don't know how much time we've got. But it also works for business planning really beautifully. There was one occasion when I went to exhibit, one of these sort of learning and development conferences early in Barefoot's history. And I just had a few of bits of, like, 84 papers stuck to the stuck to the sort of screen behind us.Kim Morgan [00:23:49]:You know? The I can't remember what it's called. You know, that exhibition stand. And and everyone else had all these products, and it was so colourful. And I was just mortified. And when I came back, I said, I don't wanna be I don't wanna be in that situation next year. Actually, my, at yeah. The my PA at the time did this with me and said, come on then. You know, do your own exercise.Kim Morgan [00:24:16]:And and I said, and when I sat in that chair, I said, we've got products set about £10 because people, they don't wanna spend a lot. They want something small that they can pick up, something that's colorful. And that gave rise to a whole range of, little boxes of coaching cards that we sell, that whole exercise. So I I will send you downloadable instructions to do it if you want to. It's just something I do every year to go, am I going in the right direction as the years tick by in my life?Stuart Webb [00:24:50]:That's a very interesting exercise, and it reminds me of one that I do with clients, which is what I call the pre mode premortem, which is when you're embarking upon a project, you actually ask yourselves, okay. Let's imagine it's gone horribly wrong because we're all very capable of catastrophizing. So you imagine just how horribly it's gone wrong, and now now you've got yourself to that. What happened to make it go so horribly wrong? Tell me everything which could possibly have gone wrong to get you to this mindset of where everything's gone so horribly wrong and people will come out with all sorts of things. And you just put all of those on a list and you go right those are all the things we're not going to do, now let's talk about the things we will. You do have to put yourself in a different mind, don't you? You have to get into a different mindset in order to actually explore those possibilities and work out what you need to do.Kim Morgan [00:25:32]:You do. In my experience, people do it really easily. First of all, they go, oh, I'm talking to chairs now. Yeah. Exactly what I feared would happen when I came to see a coach. But, actually, it's it's, it's so powerful. And many years ago, I can remember watching a television program where it was about, parents whose children were obese, and they they actually did something like this. They sort of, did a sort of reconstruction of the a construction of the future where they had what their child would look like and be like and feel like in 10 years' time if they hadn't done something about their diet and it hadn'tStuart Webb [00:26:17]:Oh, what a lovely example.Kim Morgan [00:26:20]:Powerful powerful impact. KimStuart Webb [00:26:24]:Kim, let me come come come to my 4th question before, before I let you go back to your world of helping people who really need it. What is it that brought you here? What's what is the what is the one book or or course or or program or whatever that that truly brought you from who you were to to where you are today?Kim Morgan [00:26:49]:That's a that's a really good question. And I don't I I don't think there was one that brought me to coaching because I because I was just on a journey of devouring everything I could about personal development. I was a therapist, and then I did every course and book available. And then I I think back now, and I was I was only young, and I, obviously, had a lot of confidence. And I just thought, you know what? I think I can write a coaching course based on everything I've done. So it was a a whole mix of lots of different people. I studied NLP. I studied Freudian psychotherapy.Kim Morgan [00:27:30]:I studied Carl Rogers' humanistic person's sense of therapy, and I thought took what I thought were the best bits of all of it and created this course. The book that has made the biggest impression on me and on, students on our coach training program is called Time to Think, And it's written by a wonderful woman called Nancy Cline who I I had the privilege of getting to know really well, and she actually taught on our course for many, many years. She stopped teaching because she won't work online because she's so much about that humans human interaction. But I think everyone should read this book, time to think, which is just about the power of listening actually and giving people your really full attention.Stuart Webb [00:28:26]:I love it.Kim Morgan [00:28:28]:Have you read it?Stuart Webb [00:28:29]:I have. You have. It's it's lovely.Kim Morgan [00:28:32]:It's an amazing book, isn't it?Stuart Webb [00:28:34]:And And it does make it does make you realize the importance of being present, because you are so much more able to affect things if you're truly present. And I think that's that's a lesson that we all need to learn.Kim Morgan [00:28:50]:Yeah. And and also sitting in it is like the mind that holds the problem also holds the solution. And if you give people the right conditions to think, not be interrupted, Somewhere inside, they'll come up with the right solution for them. And it, you know, it seems to be a really, really powerful philosophy. In our team, we sometimes just do everyone has, like, 5 minutes each to say something, go around the team, and no one and we all have to keep our eyes on them, and we all have to listen intently. And every time we do that, we're sort of mind blown by how in those 5 minutes we we've learned so much more about that person than we have in the previous, like, month Yeah. Of chitchat.Stuart Webb [00:29:45]:Active listening. Kim, I'm gonna come to my 5th question and this is the question which is, which is the one that I I enjoy asking the most actually if I'm gonna be honest with people, and that is what is the question that I haven't asked you that you wanted me to ask? And this is obviously the where I really learn about, what it is that's currently on your mind and how you're thinking about what you're trying to do to affect those people that really resonate with what you're talking about at the moment.Kim Morgan [00:30:14]:I, yeah, I had so many thoughts about this, but I think the question that I would like you to ask is, yeah, what's next? You know? What's next? I was a kind of pioneer. I was a pioneer of of coaching, and I'm still passionate about it. But I'm really always looking for the next thing that's gonna help people.Stuart Webb [00:30:44]:And so, Kim, what is the next thing for Barefoot Coaching and for Kim Morgan?Kim Morgan [00:30:49]:I think it's more for Kim Morgan than Barefoot Coaching. It's, I I I I think I said, I do a lot of work with grief and loss. And it's a kind of offshoot of grief and loss that I'm really noticing in in clients and people in the world, and that is like family estrangement. There are more and more children divorcing their parents and parents divorcing their children. And I just think it's something that is, you know, people is gonna need a lot of help with.Stuart Webb [00:31:29]:Yeah. SoKim Morgan [00:31:29]:that's the I'm doing a bit of research into that right now.Stuart Webb [00:31:34]:Kim, I wish you every success with that. I love to hear the fact that you're gonna address that. And that's the father of a current 23 year old who still seems to be clinging on like a limpet, showing no signs of divorcing me. I'm sure he won't need your help, but he'll need help from people like you to do so much, in his life. Kim, it's been an absolute pleasure. I mean, a real, real pleasure to have you spend a few minutes with us, and thank you so much for sharing so much intimate knowledge of what you do. I'm just gonna I'm just gonna do the, the quick outro, which is, look, if you would like to get an email so that you actually know who's coming on to these things and gonna spend some time listening to people like him, giving huge amounts of value and and, and wisdom. Just go to this link, which is link dot the complete approach dotco.ukforward/newsletter.Stuart Webb [00:32:28]:That's link dot the complete approach dotco.ukforward/newsletter. It's a simple form. You'll get an email once a week, which basically says this week coming up is whoever it is. Tune in and watch the Wisdom Roll. Kim, thank you so much for spending some time with us. I appreciate this is, we had a little technical difficulty, but but we got through the technical difficulty, and we heard you brilliantly throughout it. And and you've really poured wisdom, and I really appreciate the time you spent with us. So thank you so much indeed.Kim Morgan [00:32:59]:I really appreciate you inviting me here. Thank you. I've really loved talking to you. And whoever else is here, thank you for being here.Stuart Webb [00:33:06]:Yeah. We've had we've had some wonderful people, like, and I know Therese Baptist has been here. She's a fantastic fantastic person. I love I love I love Therese. Sally Sally Alou Richards, Andy Chandler. We've had people listening to you, and I know they're gonna enjoy listening back to this, and and hearing what you've been having to say. So thank you so much for spending some time with us.Kim Morgan [00:33:30]:It's been a real pleasure. Thank you. 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In this episode of the Play Therapy Podcast, I respond to a question from Chiara in Florida about working with clients over the age of 14. I explain how child-centered play therapy (CCPT) naturally evolves from a wholly person-centered approach for older teens and adults. Since CCPT is rooted in Carl Rogers' person-centered theory, the core principles—reflecting feelings, providing choices, and fostering a strong therapeutic relationship—remain effective across all ages. I also discuss the importance of maintaining theoretical consistency when working with both children and adults to prevent therapist burnout and ensure congruence. By staying aligned with person-centered principles for all clients, therapists can sustain their energy and provide meaningful, effective therapy without needing to constantly switch frameworks. This episode offers guidance for therapists navigating work with diverse age groups while staying true to the CCPT model. PlayTherapyNow.com is my HUB for everything I do! playtherapynow.com. Sign up for my email newsletter, stay ahead with the latest CCPT CEU courses, personalized coaching opportunities and other opportunities you need to thrive in your CCPT practice. If you click one link in these show notes, this is the one to click! If you would like to ask me questions directly, check out www.ccptcollective.com, where I host two weekly Zoom calls filled with advanced CCPT case studies and session reviews, as well as member Q&A. You can take advantage of the two-week free trial to see if the CCPT Collective is right for you. Ask Me Questions: Call ‪(813) 812-5525‬, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com Brenna's CCPT Hub: https://www.playtherapynow.com CCPT Collective (online community exclusively for CCPTs): https://www.ccptcollective.com Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapypodcast.com APT Approved Play Therapy CE courses: https://childcenteredtraining.com Twitter: @thekidcounselor https://twitter.com/thekidcounselor Facebook: https://facebook.com/playtherapypodcast Common References: Cochran, N., Nordling, W., & Cochran, J. (2010). Child-Centered Play Therapy (1st ed.). Wiley. VanFleet, R., Sywulak, A. E., & Sniscak, C. C. (2010). Child-centered play therapy. Guilford Press. Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group. Benedict, Helen. Themes in Play Therapy. Used with permission to Heartland Play Therapy Institute.

Ever feel like you're carrying a secret that's too heavy to share? In this powerful episode of The Addicted Mind Plus, hosts Duane and Eric Osterlind explore why sharing our authentic stories is crucial for lasting recovery. They dive into how keeping parts of ourselves hidden can actually deepen our isolation, while taking careful steps to share with trusted others can create profound healing. Drawing from the wisdom of pioneering psychotherapist Carl Rogers, they discuss how genuine connection and unconditional acceptance can transform recovery from a lonely journey into a shared path of growth. The hosts offer practical strategies for breaking down the walls of shame and secrecy, while emphasizing the importance of choosing safe people and spaces for self-disclosure. Whether you're in recovery or supporting someone who is, this episode provides valuable insights into building the authentic connections that make lasting change possible.Download: Self-Disclosure in Recovery WorksheetClick Here to Join the TAM + Community. Get the support you need.Our Deep Dive is now in the community, where we discuss this episode in deep Key Topics: Understanding the relationship between isolation and addiction The role of unconditional positive regard in healing How to identify safe people for self-disclosure Practical steps for sharing your story The importance of starting small with vulnerability Using journaling to explore sharing readiness Creating a self-disclosure plan Timestamps[00:01:04] Introduction to self-disclosure and authentic connection[00:02:00] The impact of keeping secrets in recovery [00:04:08] Carl Rogers' insights on understanding and acceptance[00:08:35] Practical steps for building vulnerability [00:11:55] Understanding your comfort level with sharing [00:13:21] Journaling prompts for self-reflection [00:14:30] The power of community in recoveryFollow and Review: We'd love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast.Supporting Resources:If you live in California and are looking for counseling or therapy please check out Novus Mindful Life Counseling and Recovery CenterNovusMindfulLife.comWe want to hear from you. Leave us a message or ask us a question: https://www.speakpipe.com/addictedmindDisclaimer Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Ever feel like you're carrying a secret that's too heavy to share? In this powerful episode of The Addicted Mind Plus, hosts Duane and Eric Osterlind explore why sharing our authentic stories is crucial for lasting recovery. They dive into how keeping parts of ourselves hidden can actually deepen our isolation, while taking careful steps to share with trusted others can create profound healing. Drawing from the wisdom of pioneering psychotherapist Carl Rogers, they discuss how genuine connection and unconditional acceptance can transform recovery from a lonely journey into a shared path of growth. The hosts offer practical strategies for breaking down the walls of shame and secrecy, while emphasizing the importance of choosing safe people and spaces for self-disclosure. Whether you're in recovery or supporting someone who is, this episode provides valuable insights into building the authentic connections that make lasting change possible. Download: Self-Disclosure in Recovery Worksheet Click Here to Join the TAM + Community. Get the support you need. Our Deep Dive is now in the community, where we discuss this episode in deep  Key Topics: Understanding the relationship between isolation and addiction The role of unconditional positive regard in healing How to identify safe people for self-disclosure Practical steps for sharing your story The importance of starting small with vulnerability Using journaling to explore sharing readiness Creating a self-disclosure plan Timestamps [00:01:04] Introduction to self-disclosure and authentic connection [00:02:00] The impact of keeping secrets in recovery  [00:04:08] Carl Rogers' insights on understanding and acceptance [00:08:35] Practical steps for building vulnerability  [00:11:55] Understanding your comfort level with sharing  [00:13:21] Journaling prompts for self-reflection  [00:14:30] The power of community in recovery Follow and Review: We'd love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast. Supporting Resources: If you live in California and are looking for counseling or therapy please check out Novus Mindful Life Counseling and Recovery Center NovusMindfulLife.com We want to hear from you. Leave us a message or ask us a question: https://www.speakpipe.com/addictedmind Disclaimer Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Is there a way to switch gears even when you're running late, overhwhelmed, and already past crispy? Isabelle and David explore how changing gears, especially during a transition--whether it's starting a conversation, leaving the house, beginning a work task--is up to us and how hard and real the struggle is and how important it can be to get your reps in. From potato sprouts and Carl Rogers, to neurodivergent trauma as culture, to all those half finished water bottles underneath your carseat, this conversation embraces what it means to share collective wounds as well as adaptations to a world not built for neurodivergent folx.----Isabelle (speaking of a hard moment trying to get herself and her kids out the door when they're already running so late and then stopping, covering her eyes and ears, and just sitting on the couch)-- thought this "busy-ness" was a personality trait, moving on to the next, to the next, to the next—to always be busy, harried, running behind. And you can't expect the environment to stop when things feel like too much. Pandemic was not a blessing in disguise (that's BS), and Isabelle's experience was that on top of the systemic and personal trauma and wanting to chew her own arm off, it was the first time the world did stop to a degree—it took a lot of demands and choices off the table for her. How often when she is burned out and crispy does she want the world to stop, for things to slow down, to quiet down on a sensory level.  And when the world stopped, that wasn't the answer either, she actually found herself doing more—it's a lot to realize that the world won't stop for you and even when it does, it doesn't address the overwhelm problem. David names that a lot of social expectations changed—doing laundry, doing hygiene. Finding out which things were effective and which weren't was a lot then. In couples, there's a big difference between a harsh versus a soft startup, taken from the work of the Gottmans (see links below). The harsh versus soft start up through transitions—are you giving yourself a harsh or a soft start up to a task? What do you need to transition to a particular activity—do you want to get there late, stressed, sweaty? Or do you want to get there and be bored for a bit, because you're about to read to kids in a library and need to come in with less energy? When Isabelle sits and asks for help, she interrupts and resets a harsh start up to a soft start up. She is doing for herself what she wishes another person would do. Sits her down, has her take a moment, helps take away the expectations and demands. Bobby can do that sometimes, but also she can't expect someone to do that everyday. And it helps her get reps at switching from a soft to a harsh transition. She didn't think she had a gear shift; she was on and off. It's existential, you have to reset your own expectations and what it means to stop. Isabelle has to unmask, and reveal how vulnerable she is and ask for what she needs, she has to face trauma. A client of hers recently invented (she thinks?) This term “ADHD trauma.” Being neurodivergent in a neurotypical world that's constructed to benefit and aid neurotypical ways of being generates trauma by virtue of the not having the right manual. And David calls this ADHD culture. We have different problems with friend groups or making purchases or being an imposter, the thing that makes this podcast fun to listen to. Culture is defined by how we dance with trauma. Every kind of culture—race, class, etc.—sets the standard of how you interact with the world. The feeling of going into a class and forgetting you had a test; all those empty water bottles under the seats, if you could clap your hands and the pile of laundry, the corner you forgot existed—and suddenly we feel better because you're not the one who is like that. Does having ADHD make me allergic to rigid capitalist systems? There's two people: the ADHD person is going to look down at the cliff and see apples and yells “apples!” And then the other person hears “oh, apples?” and makes an apple farm. We're not all the same but we do have something in common. Anything that overwhelms our capacity to cope or unable to change it—isn't any identity the world wants you to change but you can't going to set you up for overwhelming your capacity to cope (you can't run from it, hide it, fight it, play dead…etc.) David has a thought: when he was getting kicked out of school, his brain coded that as bad. Fast forward, he ended up going to grad school at Northwestern. And not a lot of people at Northwestern got kicked out of high school. It's definitely not something that you talked about. But then, he started working and advocating with Eye to Eye and other groups—suddenly, his story had worth. The amount of relief he started to see on kids faces that “oh, you can recover from every mistake” and he wasn't proud when it happened, but now it's an important part of his origin story. In community and connection, the very thing you're hiding is what I'm hiding--whoa, we don't have to hide, how much energy we get from not hiding this thing? When David first went to Northwestern he would lie and tell people he went to a local “multidirectional school" —those people weren't good people and he didn't want to be branded with those people. Isabelle doesn't want to say where she went to college. Because people from our culture don't go to schools like that (like Harvard?) David had no models, didn't know how to say it. Everyone ‘thinks they're the mistake.” Pause for effect, Isabelle went back and looked through her old medical records and she got her records from counseling while at college. In those clinical notes she received an ADHD diagnosis; multiple sessions where she as a client thought she had ADHD, and as many listeners will remember, she didn't know she had ADHD until 15 years later. Isn't that really interesting—isn't that interesting that she was never told she was diagnosed with ADHD, there was no affirmation or information, and in the notes it indicated even why she was even given the type of antidepressant or weaned off, she walked around telling everyone who knew her "I think I have ADHD because I can't focus anymore.” She wasn't told she had a diagnosis. Even when she asked point blank. The world 25 years ago was really different, how much they maybe saved her from a tougher road. When you're "not supposed to" be there, the messages you get at each of these places, to hide, to shame, to silence, to minimize. "Everyone has some ADHD, right?" The masking component has more consequences to neurospicy culture. We don't have the same the care and feeding instructions as the people around us, we'll still grow but it's not the same. A potato sprout is going to grow and develop no matter what situation you're in, whether the potato is in the root cellar or planted in the earth (as Carl Rogers states, see actual full quote below). Across animal groups, culture is modifying your environment in order to adapt, at least how Isabelle learned what culture was when studying archaeology and social anthropology in college. We started to cook as a form of survival, the culture we form is the things we try to do to survive and adapt. Because we have to survive and shelter in the same places. Isabelle feels way better being a potato in the root cellar around potatoes also in the root cellar. Or at least better than the shriveled magic spell potato you find behind the drawer—forgotten produce! Another feature of neurodivergent culture.DEFINITIONS

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit andrewsullivan.substack.comEric is a professor of politics at the University of Buckingham, where he runs the new Centre for Heterodox Social Science. He's also an adjunct fellow at the Manhattan Institute. His new book is The Third Awokening: A 12-Point Plan for Rolling Back Progressive Extremism (its title in the UK is Taboo: How Making Race Sacred Produced a Cultural Revolution). He also runs a 15-week online course on the origins of wokeness that anyone can sign up for.For two clips of our convo — why race/gender/sexuality are now considered sacred identities, and whether peak woke is past us — head to our YouTube page. Other topics: born in Hong Kong with a diplomatic dad; raised in Tokyo and Vancouver; living in the UK ever since; how the US spreads its culture wars abroad; the BLM moral panic; “hate speech”; psychotherapy and Carl Rogers; the psychological harm of growing up with homophobia; the gay rights movement; wedding cakes in Colorado; Jon Rauch; Jon Haidt; the taboos of talking immigration or family structure; the Moynihan Report shelved by LBJ; Shelby Steele's book on white guilt; Coleman Hughes and “intergenerational trauma”; anti-Semitism and the Holocaust; the AIDS crisis; the tradeoffs in trans rights vs. women's rights; the spurious “mass graves” of indigenous Canadians; the CRA of 1964 dovetailing with the Immigration Act of 1965; Chris Caldwell; Richard Hanania; America's original sin of slavery; Locke and Hobbes; Douglas Murray's The War on the West; Churchill; cancel culture; CRT as unfalsifiable; Ibram Kendi; the gender imbalance in various industries; Chris Rufo; how Trump makes wokeness worse; the absence of identity politics in Harris' convention speech; and being comfortable with being “abnormal”.Browse the Dishcast archive for an episode you might enjoy (the first 102 are free in their entirety — subscribe to get everything else). Coming up: Rod Dreher on religion and the presidential race, Michelle Goldberg on Harris, David Frum on Trump, Bill Wasik and Monica Murphy on the history of animal cruelty, John Gray on, well, everything, and Sam Harris for our quadrennial chat before Election Day. Please send any guest recs, dissents, and other comments to dish@andrewsullivan.com.

In this episode, I dive deep into my transformative journey with Connor Milstein's movement system. This isn't just about getting in shape; it's about aligning your body, mind, and spirit to the highest degrees of love and transformation.We kick off by exploring my initial resistance to adopting Connor's system and how committing to it has led to unprecedented levels of personal growth. I'm talking about physical changes like increased neck size and foot growth, as well as deeper shifts in confidence, creativity, and decision-making.I share how the combination of internal world safety and expansiveness with physical practices has been mind-blowing. We touch on sacred geometry and how love and efficient energy distribution manifest as beautiful, symmetrical shapes. Carl Rogers' idea of perpetual adaptation also makes an appearance, shedding light on the importance of being in a constant state of change and evolution.The episode is a love letter to Connor's movement system and its profound impact on my life. If you're committed to becoming love in a world-class way, this is the episode for you.Thank you for tuning in. Your support and love mean the world to me. Let's continue this journey of transformation together.Join my Free 7 Day Course "How to Identify and Heal Unconscious Wounds" HERE! Here are 3 ways I can help you:Online CommunitySmall Group Coaching1:1 Mentorship

David and Isabelle navigated the treacherous landscape of surviving and being the lucky ones; are we trash? Are we seahorses? From defeating the enemy that is loose glitter, to brain regions resembling animals, to why it hurts when we beat up on ourselves, tackling the pain and looking at ourselves with intention. ——Isabelle was told she's a talker, but she's also a listener. There's this thing Isabelle borrows from mindfulness practices and therapy ideas: what you resist persists, what you go with flows, go for the ride. She had this moment the other day, at what point is it going to be bore her? She is easily bored, she is initially excited about and then she loses interest in it, she can be hyper fixated on the thing and then it passes, and then why is it that she's never been bored in a session—it's never happened: when will it not be exciting or curious? It's not the same thing as it being easy or effortless, challenge does not mean something isn't fun, and maybe it's one of her favorite things to do. David names: it's amazing to be put into an environment where it's dangerous if you don't pay attention to listening, attending to the patterns and themes in the group—it's almost what I've done in my entire life. Find ways to honor ourselves. I want someone to be able to look at me and respectfully out himself more often, and we don't see the models are dysfunction. “This kid having ADHD and being in jail” is part of the story. Until everything is shiny! Glitter! Except loose glitter which is Isabelle's worst nightmare. She learned, the hard way, that loose glitter found it's way into her world, the moment you try to clean it up, it's “this glitter will be here always.” The glitter's arch nemesis is tape—you're welcome everybody. You still have to sit there for hours, but it makes the cleanup satisfying. David has had the thought of rooms with too much glitter and thought: burn this room. Isabelle names that this is different when there is epoxy style glitter in a floor or a tile, or in a shoe—she loves how there's a lot of glittery shoes, but the glitter is contained in a plastic shell. And there's something amazing about the shiny but it needs to stay shiny and not be embedded in anyone's skin. Isabelle's friend pointed this out: David has a pleasant voice, and Isabelle, back in high school, was on speech team, and she competed in radio speaking, where you essentially you get to be in a room separate from everybody and record into a microphone. That got her over her fear of public speaking, only they used tapes and tape recorders. Who knew? These little things, not exactly fate v. Free will—isn't it interesting the things that had to come into play were miraculous or exponentially improbable. David thinks his survival in life is pretty lucky. Like LeDerick said, we're statistically survivors, how did we get there? David is sometimes looking at a river and it's all pristine and there's this piece of trash attached to a log not getting sucked down the river, and that's him, he's a piece of trash, and he got saved. He was powerless being swept by the current—a lot of us were—whether we found partners, or friends, or jobs or something. The odds of David getting an advanced degree, being in a counseling practice, and having the same diagnosis. There was a moment in their office, it was Isabelle's first or second month, and we were talking about structure and stuff, and it went brain-seahorse. And David went “maybe…maybe…” and everyone else just saw, it's going to go somewhere else. To finish the thought: once seahorses have partnered, upon the first rays of sunlight entering the ocean, they will do a synchronized dance to each other. Speaking of seahorses: the hippocampus is the part of the brain is responsible for episodic memory, ability to time stamp when something has happened in our life, seal it with a declarative context—and to connect it to David's trash metaphor, how a seahorse gets around: it attaches to kelp or seaweed and it floats on the currents, and it mates for life, and takes care of it's babies, and it does not make sense, and it exists nonetheless. Isabelle doesn't think we're trash on a river, we're the seahorses. David names that 50% of people with ADHD don't graduate on time. Isabelle names: a lot seahorses don't survive, statistically there's so many don't make it. David names there's a lot of compassion and meaning to what we see—Isabelle is doing a lot of shaming to the trash. David is not trying to say we're mistakes, but he doesn't think the system sees value in us, but we have to see value in ourselves. You see me, I see you, grab my hand, we'll do things together, we are trying to survive. David is never going to judge survival. Isabelle quotes Carl Rogers, when the potato sprouts, it's doesn't matter if it's in the earth or in the root cellar, it will reach out toward the little shaft of light, and he talks about it as an actualizing tendency, we're always going toward the sunlight, and everyone else is casting shame “silly potato” but it's doing what it does. The labels that we put on things can be really distracting, and there's a big debate about diagnosing, and David names that labels can be minimizing and restrictive, but with ADHD, there's some power in that label, in knowing you're not alone, that it's really hard when you're dealing with internal invisible motivational things, it's easy to think there's something wrong with you, and you need to spend time with people that don't make you feel like trash, and you spend time doing things, and you don't trash yourself. But also, David identifies with the trash in the river. ANd things changed when he didn't need the system to find value. How do you relate to yourself in seeing the value you hold and knowing that. It connects to internal family systems, there's this interesting idea that the reason why when you're beating yourself up, it causes actual pain—there's another part, however small or exiled, there is another part that is taking that hit. When we're beating ourselves up, a part of us is trying to convince the part that desperately doesn't want it to be true. It's like trying to beat down a part that inherently knows it has value. It's not just practicing and noticing the strengths and the peaks, but also having the space and safety to grieve, that you had a lot more peaks, and lot of people missed it, and you were wrong about you, too—there's a whole reckoning. David would use this question to ground himself: “when did that not happen?” Oh, with these people, in that place, when I'm doing x—“where does it not happen?” Even looking at childhood, “my parents were always angry”—when were they not? This makes Isabelle think of your default neural network—you're brain is going to always do the thing that it's most used to, because it's more efficient to do the thing you do every day—if you're not actively or intentionally trying to counter that, you're going to coast—and if you've been knocked down, and you've been hit harder and felt it more acutely than most, and you're default mode is going to be rough, and it does take concentrated effort to work with this, and that's where environments and community comes in. Dr. Daniel Siegel - the neurons that fire together, wire togetherCoolest books about seahorses - Poseidon's Steed: The Story of Seahorses, from Myth to Reality by Dr. Helen Scales, Ph.D.Carl Rogers quote “potato sprout”...

Are you the same person you were a decade ago? Do we get better as we age? And is your sixth-grade class clown still funny?  SOURCES:Aaron (Tim) Beck, professor emeritus of psychiatry at the University of Pennsylvania.Daniel Gilbert, professor of psychology at Harvard University.Olga Khazan, staff writer at The Atlantic. Brian Little, professor of psychology at the University of Cambridge.Jordi Quoidbach, professor of people management and organisation at ESADE, University Ramon Llull.Carl Rogers, 20th-century psychologist.Martin Short, actor and comedian.Richard Wiseman, professor of the public understanding of psychology at the University of Hertfordshire.Timothy Wilson, professor of psychology at the University of Virginia. RESOURCES:"I Gave Myself Three Months to Change My Personality," by Olga Khazan (The Atlantic, 2022)."You Can Be a Different Person After the Pandemic," by Olga Khazan (The New York Times, 2021)."The Theory of Modes: Applications to Schizophrenia and Other Psychological Conditions," by Aaron T. Beck, Molly R. Finkel, and Judith S. Beck (Cognitive Therapy and Research, 2020).“Brian Little: Are Human Personalities Hardwired?" by Guy Raz (TED Radio Hour, 2017).I Must Say: My Life As a Humble Comedy Legend, by Martin Short (2014)."The End of History Illusion," by Jordi Quoidbach, Daniel T. Gilbert, and Timothy D. Wilson (Science, 2013)."Age Differences in Personality Traits From 10 to 65: Big Five Domains and Facets in a Large Cross-Sectional Sample," by Christopher J. Soto, Oliver P. John, Samuel D. Gosling, and Jeff Potter (Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 2011)."The Rank-Order Consistency of Personality Traits From Childhood to Old Age: A Guantitative Review of Longitudinal Studies," by Brent W. Roberts and Wendy F. DelVecchio (Psychological Bulletin, 2000). EXTRAS:Big Five Personality Inventory, by No Stupid Questions (2024).Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee, TV series (2012-present).