Podcasts about Carl Rogers

Você já usou uma frase da terapia para sairde uma situação difícil sem ter que lidar com ela de verdade? "Isso me dágatilho." "Estou respeitando meu processo." "Esse é meulimite." Essas frases podem ser poderosas — ou podem ser a forma maissofisticada de não mudar nada.Neste episódio, a gente mergulha fundo numtema que poucos têm coragem de tocar: o therapy speak — quando a linguagemterapêutica vira esconderijo, e não ferramenta de transformação. Porqueentender sua ferida não te autoriza a ferir. Nomear seu trauma não substituireparar suas atitudes. E ter consciência do padrão não é o mesmo que sair dele.A gente fala sobre: — O que diz a ciênciasobre insight sem ação (e por que saber não basta) — Por que a Terapia deAceitação e Compromisso (ACT) coloca o movimento como centro da cura — Adiferença entre usar o autoconhecimento para crescer e usá-lo para sejustificar — Uma pergunta prática que você pode fazer a si mesma toda vez queusar uma frase terapêutica numa situação difícilCom base em estudos do Journal of ContextualBehavioral Science, Behavior Research and Therapy e da Universidade deGroningen — e nas ideias de Steven C. Hayes, Carl Rogers e Irvin Yalom.Se você está em terapia, já foi, ouacompanha alguém que usa muito essa linguagem, esse episódio vai te provocar —do jeito certo.

In this episode, you can learn:• Why the first and last Beatitudes may reveal a hidden psychology of transformation• How humility becomes the gateway to self-awareness, and self-acceptance becomes the foundation for lasting change• Why emotional honesty, rather than avoidance, is essential for growth• How comfort, validation, and control can block psychological development• The surprising connections between the Beatitudes, Carl Rogers, Jung, neuroscience, and the process of becoming who you areThe Beatitudes are often read as moral teachings, but what if they also describe a psychology of transformation?In this episode, we explore the possibility that the first and last Beatitudes form a complete arc of change: from humility and self-awareness to self-respect and self-acceptance. Along the way, we connect the Beatitudes to Jungian psychology, Carl Rogers, predictive processing, neuroscience, and the human tendency to avoid what is most difficult to see within ourselves. Rather than a list of virtues, the Beatitudes emerge as a progression—one that reorganizes identity, transforms desire, and ultimately changes how we relate to ourselves, others, and reality itself.Part 6 (and link to 1-5) https://youtu.be/cwSOiuskFKo?si=qGtCl7aX-xRM6zyIPart 6 WBS https://youtu.be/cwSOiuskFKo?si=qGtCl7aX-xRM6zyIPart 7 WBS https://youtu.be/KbuiXmwdKeAInternal Calculators part 1 https://youtu.be/uKa3wzpRoxQ?si=57tk2tO14VNVdzcpInternal Calculators part 2 https://youtu.be/5lsQIJUPgQ4Elevate How You Navigate with Len & a free call https://elevatehowyounavigate.comMAYU Water, use "autism" for 10% off at https://mayuwater.comDaylight Computer Company, use "autism" for $50 off at https://buy.daylightcomputer.com/autismDaylight Kids (!!!) https://kids.daylightcomputer.com/autism ‪Chroma Light Devices, use "autism" for 10% discount at https://getchroma.co/?ref=autism00:00 Elevate How You Navigate, MAYU Water, Daylight Computer & Daylight Kids, Chroma Light Devices05:18 Can the Self Be Transformed?; Reordering the Self12:27 First Beatitude: Poor in Spirit; Humility & Openness17:37 Second Beatitude: Mourning; Emotional Honesty & Integration20:32 Third Beatitude: Meekness; Strength Under Control24:00 Fourth Beatitude: Hunger & Thirst for Righteousness; Reordering Desire28:32 Fifth Beatitude: Mercy; Judgment, Compassion & Humanity30:55 Sixth Beatitude: Pure in Heart; Integrity & Congruence33:58 Seventh Beatitude: Peacemakers; Strength Beyond Control35:58 Eighth Beatitude: Persecuted for Righteousness; Self-Respect & Alignment38:42 The Psychology of Transformation; Final Synthesis41:23 Closing Reflections

In this episode of the CCPT Mythbusters series, I tackle the belief that children need guidance to change. This myth is deeply embedded in our culture and shows up in many therapeutic approaches through advice, instruction, worksheets, lessons, and adult-directed interventions. I explain why this assumption directly contradicts the foundations of person-centered and child-centered theory. From the beginning, Carl Rogers challenged the idea that people need an expert to tell them how to grow. Instead, he demonstrated that when the right conditions are present, human beings naturally move toward healing, growth, and self-actualization. Children are no different. I also explore what children actually need in order to change. Rather than guidance, they need a therapeutic relationship, a therapeutic environment, and unconditional acceptance. In CCPT, we trust that children understand their struggles and possess an innate capacity to work through them. Our role is not to write the script, direct the action, or determine the path forward. Instead, we provide the stage and trust the child's process. This episode is a powerful reminder that effective therapy is not about controlling change—it is about creating the conditions where change can naturally occur. New Resource for Play Therapists: The Parent Companion for Play Therapy is now available at author pricing for therapists. Created specifically to help parents better understand the child-centered play therapy process, this book is designed to support parent engagement, improve buy-in, and reduce attrition throughout the therapeutic journey. As a listener of the Play Therapy Podcast, you can order a copy for just $8 (our cost plus shipping). Click here to order your author-priced copy. ** Limit 1 per therapist, offer valid in the Continental U.S. only. PlayTherapyNow.com is my HUB for everything I do! playtherapynow.com. Sign up for my email newsletter, stay ahead with the latest CCPT CEU courses, personalized coaching opportunities and other opportunities you need to thrive in your CCPT practice. If you click one link in these show notes, this is the one to click! Topical Playlists! All of the podcasts are now grouped into topical playlists on YouTube. Please go to https://www.youtube.com/kidcounselorbrenna/playlists to view them. If you would like to ask me questions directly, check out www.ccptcollective.com, where I host two weekly Zoom calls filled with advanced CCPT case studies and session reviews, as well as member Q&A. You can take advantage of the two-week free trial to see if the CCPT Collective is right for you. Ask Me Questions: Call ‪(813) 812-5525‬, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com Brenna's CCPT Hub: https://www.playtherapynow.com CCPT Collective (online community exclusively for CCPTs): https://www.ccptcollective.com Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapypodcast.com APT Approved Play Therapy CE courses: https://childcenteredtraining.com Facebook: https://facebook.com/playtherapypodcast Common References: Cochran, N., Nordling, W., & Cochran, J. (2010). Child-Centered Play Therapy (1st ed.). Wiley. VanFleet, R., Sywulak, A. E., & Sniscak, C. C. (2010). Child-centered play therapy. Guilford Press. Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Landreth, G.L., & Bratton, S.C. (2019). Child-Parent Relationship Therapy (CPRT): An Evidence-Based 10-Session Filial Therapy Model (2nd ed.). Routledge. https://doi.org/10.4324/9781315537948 Benedict, Helen. Themes in Play Therapy. Used with permission to Heartland Play Therapy Institute.

Throughout a career spanning roles as a teacher, BBC television producer, coach and prolific author, Jenny Rogers has never been afraid of getting things wrong.In this episode of The Coach's Journey Podcast, the executive coach, supervisor, trainer and author of coaching titles such as Are You Listening? tells host Neil Mackinnon about the vital importance of experimentation and of embracing our mistakes in order to benefit from a lifetime of learning experiences that make us better coaches and ground us in our humanity.Jenny flies the flag for a whole-life perspective in coaching, eschewing narrow approaches in favour of a style that acknowledges the way our personal and working lives are inextricably intertwined, and makes room for all the parts of us.A deep interest in psychotherapy has enriched Jenny's coaching practice and she highlights the modalities that fascinate her the most, as well as the key therapeutic ideas and techniques that are readily transferrable to any coaching practice.Jenny also discusses her latest books, which address important questions about navigating boundaries as a new coach and working through the challenges many women face in midlife.This episode is full of sage advice drawn from a wonderfully diverse, rich career in coaching and creativity, shared by a practitioner whose dauntless spirit of curiosity and passion for understanding human relationships is as infectious as it is inspiring.Jenny and Neil also talk about:- The relationship between trauma-aware coaching and psychodynamic therapy- Nurturing a healthy writing practice and overcoming creative blocks- How we accumulate rigid ways of thinking, and why it is hard to make change on your own- The art of embodying a place of non-judgement, and offering challenge with compassionTHINGS WE TALKED ABOUT THAT YOU MIGHT BE INTERESTED IN:- Jenny Rogers https://www.jennyrogers.com- BBC https://www.bbc.co.uk- Delia Smith https://www.deliaonline.com- Madhur Jaffrey https://www.madhurjaffrey.com- BBC Two https://www.bbc.co.uk/bbctwo- BBC Books https://www.penguin.co.uk/company/publishers/bbc-books- Columbia University https://www.columbia.edu- Management Futures https://www.managementfutures.co.uk- Are You Listening (book) https://www.penguin.co.uk/books/111/1115931/are-you-listening/9780241973986.html- Julia Vaughan-Smith https://www.juliavaughansmith.com- Nscience https://nscience.uk- Franz Ruppert https://www.franz-ruppert.de/en/- Irvin Yalom https://www.yalom.com- The Gift of Therapy (book) https://www.harpercollins.com/products/the-gift-of-therapy-irvin-d-yalom- Carl Rogers https://www.britannica.com/biography/Carl-Rogers- Gabor Mate https://www.upaya.org/person/dr-gabor-mate- University College Hospital London https://www.uclh.nhs.uk- Guildhall School of Music & Drama https://www.gsmd.ac.uk- How Not to Be a Doctor, by John Launer https://www.duckworthbooks.co.uk/book/how-not-to-be-a-doctor/- Barbican Centre https://www.barbican.org.uk- City of London Corporation https://www.cityoflondon.gov.uk- EMCC Global https://www.emccglobal.org- ILM https://www.institutelm.com- Coaches Training Institute (Co-Active) https://coactive.comBIOGRAPHY FROM JENNYI am an executive coach, coach trainer and supervisor, and accreditation assessor for APECS, the premier coaching accreditation body of the UK. Along with these roles, I am a writer, textile artist, cook, grandmother and keen walker. Thirty five years ago, I was an early entrant to the world of coaching, after earlier careers in teaching, television production and publishing. Typically, my clients are facing a major transition in their lives and find that a coaching perspective is the key to finding solutions that work. As a coach I work with senior clients in the law, medicine, finance, healthcare, performing arts and media along with volunteer roles for severely disadvantaged women. I consider myself to be a leader in a new approach to coaching which combines insights from psychotherapy with the pragmatic emphasis on change that distinguishes the best coaching traditions.I was honoured to win the Henley Business School Award for Outstanding Contribution to Coaching in 2019. My books include Are You Listening? a book of coaching stories published by Penguin Random House in 2021. I have written 9 other books on coaching, including Coaching Skills: the definitive guide to being a coach. A fifth edition, much updated, was published in 2024. My latest book, Fearless Coaching, will be published in 2026 and a book for women in mid-life (title TBD) in early 2027 by Octopus Books.

En este episodio reflexionamos sobre lo que toma vivir una vida realmente propia y de qué manera nos influencia el entorno. Para ello revisamos varias teorías psicológicas como la teoría de la autodeterminación, el concepto de Identidad narrativa de Dan McAdams, la teoría de la expansión del yo de Arthur Aron y el concepto de «congruencia« de Carl Rogers. Dale al play y acompañame :)Cosas que mencionamos en este episodio:Mi instagram @beatriz_blumenEpisodio con Virginia Llera aquíVideo teoria autodeterminación explicada«Mujercitas», Louisa May Alcott«Te mereces el mundo», Beatriz Blumen (Suma)«Dónde estás mundo bello» Sally Rooney«Come, reza, ama», Elisabeth Gilbert«Un otoño en Bali», Beatriz BlumenSi este episodio te ha resonado puedes apoyar el podcast siguiéndolo y dejando una valoración de ★★★★★ en Spotify, Apple Podcasts o donde sea que lo estés escuchando. También que lo compartas

Send us Fan MailHow to Finally Do the Thing That Matters Most (Starting Today)Why are you stuck? Why can't you do the thing you know you're meant to do? It's not fear of failure, lack of strategy, or discipline, it's something much quieter, and it lives in your body, not your head.In this episode, Dr. Amen Kaur reveals what neuroscience, psychology, and the oldest spiritual traditions all agree on, from completely different starting points. You'll hear how Neville Goddard's "feeling is the secret," Carl Rogers' work on acceptance and congruence, Paul Gilbert's research on self-compassion, and Stephen Porges' polyvagal theory point to the same mechanism the Bible, Buddha, Rumi, Guru Nanak, and the Quran have been teaching for centuries.In this episode:The real reason high-achieving women stay stuck for yearsWhy your nervous system has to feel safe before your brain can do its best workThe hidden block underneath procrastination, overthinking, and self-sabotage (hint: it's not what you fear, it's what you can't receive)How self-criticism activates the same threat response as an external attackThe one shift you can make this week to come back to yourselfPerfect for you if: you're a capable, driven woman who has done all the inner work, therapy, mindset, manifestation, strategy and still feels stuck, overwhelmed, or like you're performing a life instead of living it.This isn't a 10-step plan. It's a return to yourself.

Parenting often feels like a high-stakes guessing game played in the middle of a meltdown or a deafening teenage silence.Clinical psychologist and bestselling author Lindsay C. Gibson returns to Psychologist Off the Clock to discuss her new book, "How to Raise an Emotionally Mature Child," and the core mindsets that build emotional maturity across development. You'll hear how emotionally immature parenting shows up, why self-reflection protects against repeating harmful patterns, how mistakes and repair strengthen trust, and what it looks like to treat kids as fully human with rich inner worlds, even when they don't say much or you don't understand them. Listen for a relational, autonomy-supportive approach that can improve parenting and adult relationships alike. Listen and Learn:How the toddler-like self-centeredness of emotionally immature parents forces their adult children to constantly manage everyone else's happiness at the absolute cost of their own identity and peaceWhy breaking the cycle of childhood trauma doesn't require being a perfect parent, but rather practicing self-awareness and honoring your child's deeply sensitiveWhy parenting is a relational enterprise rather than a production line, where meaningful connection isn't measured by long-winded conversations, but by showing genuine curiosity and active engagement Shifting from "carpentry-style" parenting that forces a narrow path to "gardening-style" parenting that nourishes the child's true, unique self Why true parenting connection doesn't require you to perfectly understand your child at all times, but rather to create a safe, curious environment where they feel inherently understandable Resources:How to Raise an Emotionally Mature Child by Lindsay Gibson https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9780593735367 Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Children by Lindsay Gibson https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9781626251700Lidnsey's Website: https://www.lindsaycgibson.com/How to Avoid Estrangement (a Q&A with Lindsay for Yael's newsletter)Stories that Connect (about sharing books, Yael's newsletter post inspired by Lindsay Gibson)Video from Ed Tronick's research on the “still face experiment”Range by David Epstein https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9780735214507 About Lindsay GibsonLindsay Gibson, PsyD, is a clinical psychologist specializing in emotional maturity and its ripple effects across the lifespan. Her book Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents became a #1 bestseller and has helped countless readers make sense of their childhoods — and themselves. Her newest book, How to Raise an Emotionally Mature Child, takes that work upstream, exploring what it actually looks like to raise kids who are emotionally grounded and self-aware. With a background that spans art, literature, and clinical psychology, Lindsay brings a rare combination of intellectual curiosity and practical wisdom to her work. She practices in Virginia Beach, Virginia, and has a habit of mailing Carl Rogers books to people she likes — which is how she became one of Yael's favorite humans.Related Episodes:262. Relationships with Emotionally Immature People with lindsay Gibson303. Both/And Thinking with Marianne LewisSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

La resiliencia, la motivación y el pensamiento positivo tienen algo en común: los tres se quedan en la superficie. En este episodio de Psicología Cruda, hablo de algo de lo que casi nadie habla y que sin embargo atraviesa todo el malestar psicológico: la flexibilidad mental. Y lo que descubre es incómodo, porque la rigidez no es un error, es una estrategia de protección muy inteligente que acabas pagando muy cara.Si te reconoces en frases como "yo soy así", "no puedo cambiar" o "es que no lo voy a soportar", este episodio te va a remover.Temas que se tratan en profundidad:- Qué es realmente la flexibilidad mental más allá de pensar mejor o de forma más adaptativa- Por qué la rigidez mental no es un defecto sino una defensa psicológica que ponemos para no sentir lo que nos da miedo- Cómo el autoconcepto se vuelve rígido y empieza a filtrar la realidad para protegernos- El papel del autoengaño en mantener una imagen de nosotros mismos que nos da seguridad- Los tres temas en los que somos más rígidos: quiénes somos, nuestra responsabilidad ante la vida y nuestras emociones- La relación entre rigidez mental y angustia existencial: muerte, libertad, sentido y soledad- Por qué la rigidez no es falta de herramientas sino exceso de motivos para no usarlas- Qué significa la aceptación incondicional de Carl Rogers y por qué es dinamita psicológica- Cómo la flexibilidad no se entrena como una técnica sino que aparece cuando dejamos de necesitar defendernos tanto- Orientaciones prácticas: darse cuenta, tolerar la incomodidad, cuestionar las certezas absolutas, vivir más en el presente y aprender a actuar con incertidumbreUn episodio largo, denso y sin atajos, que intenta ir a la raíz de algo que afecta a casi todo lo que hacemos y que la psicología de autoayuda rara vez toca de verdad.Déjanos en los comentarios qué parte te ha resonado más. Este es un episodio para debatir.

Todo mundo diz que o mundo precisa de mais empatia. Mas e se o excesso dela estiver nublando o nosso julgamento? No Linhas Cruzadas desta semana, Thaís Oyama e Luiz Felipe Pondé desafiam o senso comum: quando é que se colocar no lugar do outro vira um obstáculo para decisões justas?O programa coloca frente a frente o acolhimento de Carl Rogers e o ceticismo de Paul Bloom para perguntar: existe um limite para ser empático?Com as visões da desembargadora Andrea Pachá e dos jornalistas Lourival Sant'Anna e Caio Blinder, investigamos o dilema de equilibrar emoção e razão — das sentenças judiciais às coberturas de guerra.#LinhasCruzadas #TVCultura #SomosCultura #Empatia

What would you say makes something satisfying for you? How do you recognise that you're satisfied? It's not always easy to answer those questions. It's something I've explored a lot over the past few years, both personally and in conversations with others who feel caught in a tug-of-war between doing what they feel they ought to do and what actually brings them an intrinsic sense of satisfaction. If you're trying to make creativity part of your life in some way, it can be difficult to balance sustainability and intrinsic satisfaction. We may hand it over to external measures and signals, such as numbers, praise, and money. Because they're easier to measure, we often associate satisfaction with outcomes and goals. But if our actions are only motivated by those kinds of extrinsic metrics, especially when they're personally pretty meaningless, we can end up feeling disconnected from what we're doing. One of the things I've really enjoyed in my work with people is helping peel back the layers of story that can build up like a fog and identifying their own unique signals of satisfaction shining through it. When we recognise these things, we can develop greater confidence in our creative voice and follow a more meaningful pathway through our projects and lives. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c6uaYjKFVKU Satisfaction in the process What brings you satisfaction in the process? What brings you glimmers of connection along the way? When you've enjoyed the journey towards an outcome in the past, what made it meaningful for you? Maybe it was working alongside other people and feeling a sense of camaraderie. Perhaps it was figuring things out, solving problems, or seeing things come together that you couldn't have foreseen before you started. Satisfaction with the response What brings you satisfaction in the response? What kinds of responses give you a sense that your effort was worthwhile? Maybe it's when you realise someone gets it. Perhaps it's feeling seen and appreciated for the care you've put into something. Maybe it's when people tell others about it, or it might be receiving some form of reward or recognition. I always remember someone coming up to me after I played a gig to an almost empty room, saying they had almost decided not to come, but were really glad they did. They said, “There's nowhere else in the world I would rather have been this evening.” That stuck with me. Of course, it's nice to play to bigger crowds. But moments like that changed how I think about satisfaction. Some of my favourite memories come from small shows that might look like failures on paper but felt deeply meaningful once I moved beyond judging everything by numbers and vanity metrics. Satisfaction with the impact What brings you satisfaction in the impact? When you see something you've done making ripples in the world around you, what gives you a sense of satisfaction? Maybe it's seeing people follow your example and pay something forward. Perhaps it's seeing someone change in some way because of your effort. Or maybe it's simply knowing that your work brings more curiosity, laughter, appreciation, understanding, or joy into the world. I find it deeply meaningful when I hear from people about how my music has helped them. Knowing that a song has helped someone through a challenging time in their life feels very satisfying. It can’t be forced, though. Part of that satisfaction comes from the surprise of receiving messages from people, which is why I choose to keep the doorways for communication open. Satisfaction with the result When the endeavour is complete, what gives you that feeling of satisfaction? Maybe it's the money. Perhaps it's holding the finished thing in your hand. Maybe it's seeing it out there in the world. Or finally being able to let go and move on. Knowing it's done, it's complete, it exists. How do you know when you're satisfied? What does it feel like in your body? Between The External and Internal Locus of Evaluation The psychologist Carl Rogers drew a distinction between an external locus of evaluation and an internal locus of evaluation. An external locus might mean waiting for applause, approval, or recognition before allowing yourself to feel satisfied. An internal locus is more about trusting your own felt sense of meaning and alignment, even if nobody else fully gets or appreciates it. When we rely exclusively on external evaluation, we can become trapped in the tug-of-war between what we genuinely connect with and what others validate. We end up waiting for permission to feel satisfied. We might also avoid speaking up about things people don’t want to hear, and shrink back from doing things we anticipate will be criticised, even when they are important to our deeper values and principles. An internal locus helps us stay connected to satisfaction on our own terms. It reminds us that even if the ideal response never comes, there may still be good reasons to feel deeply satisfied with what we've done. Internally oriented satisfaction taps into the felt sense that we've done the right thing, even if others disagree. At the start of a project or endeavour, it can help to ask: Why does this matter to me, regardless of how others respond to it? Much of this can't be forced or manipulated. But it helps to become more aware of the small, slow things that give us intrinsic satisfaction, because it then becomes much easier to recognise them when they appear. It also helps us filter opportunities and invitations. We begin to recognise whether something genuinely aligns with what we find satisfying, or whether it's mostly a vanity metric or a hollow signifier of success. And from there, we can start making more informed decisions about what's actually worth saying yes to. Does any of this feel alive for you right now? Drop me a message of book a Pick The Lock call if you would find it useful to explore with someone else.

La resiliencia, la motivación y el pensamiento positivo tienen algo en común: los tres se quedan en la superficie. En este episodio de Psicología Cruda, el psicólogo Ventura habla de algo de lo que casi nadie habla y que sin embargo atraviesa todo el malestar psicológico: la flexibilidad mental. Y lo que descubre es incómodo, porque la rigidez no es un error, es una estrategia de protección muy inteligente que acabas pagando muy cara.Si te reconoces en frases como "yo soy así", "no puedo cambiar" o "es que no lo voy a soportar", este episodio te va a remover.Temas que se tratan en profundidad:- Qué es realmente la flexibilidad mental más allá de pensar mejor o de forma más adaptativa- Por qué la rigidez mental no es un defecto sino una defensa psicológica que ponemos para no sentir lo que nos da miedo- Cómo el autoconcepto se vuelve rígido y empieza a filtrar la realidad para protegernos- El papel del autoengaño en mantener una imagen de nosotros mismos que nos da seguridad- Los tres temas en los que somos más rígidos: quiénes somos, nuestra responsabilidad ante la vida y nuestras emociones- La relación entre rigidez mental y angustia existencial: muerte, libertad, sentido y soledad- Por qué la rigidez no es falta de herramientas sino exceso de motivos para no usarlas- Qué significa la aceptación incondicional de Carl Rogers y por qué es dinamita psicológica- Cómo la flexibilidad no se entrena como una técnica sino que aparece cuando dejamos de necesitar defendernos tanto- Orientaciones prácticas: darse cuenta, tolerar la incomodidad, cuestionar las certezas absolutas, vivir más en el presente y aprender a actuar con incertidumbreUn episodio largo, denso y sin atajos, que intenta ir a la raíz de algo que afecta a casi todo lo que hacemos y que la psicología de autoayuda rara vez toca de verdad.Déjanos en los comentarios qué parte te ha resonado más. Este es un episodio para debatir.

Quando alguém de quem gostamos está a sofrer, o nosso instinto é resolver. Trazer soluções. Conselhos. Perspectivas.Mas e se isso estiver a fazer exactamente o oposto do que queremos?Neste episódio falo sobre a compulsion to fix — o fenómeno psicológico que nos faz querer resolver o sofrimento dos outros, muitas vezes a custo de os incapacitar.E sobre o que Carl Rogers identificou como os três pilares da escuta verdadeira: presença genuína, ausência de julgamento, e empatia real.Às vezes ajudamos não fazendo nada. Às vezes a melhor coisa que podemos oferecer são os nossos ouvidos e o nosso coração.

Send us Fan MailYou've been trying to move forward. Applying, planning, building, showing up. And still something feels like it's dragging. One foot in the new world, one foot in the old. Your mind wants to go, but your body won't follow.This episode names what that heaviness actually is. It is not stuckness. It is grief. For a version of yourself you invested everything into, a version the world never gave you permission to mourn.Dr. Amen Kaur explains why we carry unprocessed experiences like suitcases full of apples we never learned to eat, why the costume you put on as a child to earn love became so convincing that even you forgot it was a costume, and why your nervous system is still running an alarm that was installed when you were seven in a house you no longer live in.Drawing on William Worden's four tasks of mourning, Carl Rogers' theory of incongruence, Dr. Nadine Burke Harris's research on adverse childhood experiences and toxic stress, and Albert Bandura's self-efficacy research, this episode shows why grief and forward movement are not opposites, why judgment is the lock that closes the doors to your real self, and why love, compassion, and understanding are the key that opens them again.Includes a client story of a woman who stopped performing, reconnected to what she actually loved, and landed a six-figure role doing it.Free masterclass: amenkaur.com/masterclassIn this episode:Why moving forward feels so heavy when you haven't grieved the old identityThe apple metaphor: how unprocessed experiences become suitcases we carry for yearsWilliam Worden's four tasks of mourning and why grief is an active process, not a passive oneCarl Rogers and incongruence: the gap between who you truly are and who you learned to beDr. Nadine Burke Harris: how childhood stress physically changes the brain and nervous systemThe alarm system metaphor: why your body keeps reacting to a house you no longer live inWhy judgment closes doors and love opens themAlbert Bandura's self-efficacy research: why self-trust is trained, not innateDr. Amen Kaur's own story of grieving the pivot from her previous podcastA client story: from work she didn't love to a six-figure role in what she didOne practice for this week: when the heaviness arrives, ask what you need to grieveReferFree Masterclass: The Human Intelligence FrameworkA walkthrough of the five stage method Dr Amen Kaur uses with high achieving women who have lost themselves inside a career, role or identity that no longer fits.Watch it free at amenkaur.com/masterclassAbout Dr Amen KaurStarting Over, Being You with Dr. Amen Kaur is the podcast for high-achieving women who have been quietly losing themselves inside the life they built. Dr. Amen Kaur, PhD, is a former scientist and former Partner at a FTSE 250 company with 20+ years of corporate experience. She teaches the Human Intelligence Framework, the Five Intelligences that orbit Your Self, and how to bring the integrator back online when it has stepped away from the seat.Learn more at amenkaur.com/aboutStay CloseInstagram: @dramenkaurTikTok: @dramenkaurYouTube: @dramenkaurDisclaimer: This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not medical, psychological, or financial advice. Please consult a qualified professional for guidance specific to your situation.

What if everything you thought you knew about high-performance sales was only half the story? In this episode of Predictable B2B Success, we speak with Scott Roy, co-founder of Whitten & Roy Partnership (WRP), a seasoned consultant and author of innovative sales methodologies that have transformed organizations across more than 50 countries. From selling educational books door-to-door as a college student to coaching global giants and social enterprises, Scott has seen firsthand what drives sales teams to predictable, repeatable success. But here's the twist: it's not just about hitting numbers or mastering pitch decks. Scott challenges conventional wisdom, revealing why attitude, culture, and a unique “Decision Intelligence Selling” methodology create lasting change beyond what AI or slick technology promises. Why does the “Race Equation”, a formula blending attitude, competence, and execution, make or break sales teams? And in an age obsessed with fast closings, why does lingering longer in the diagnostic stage actually speed up the sales process? If you're a sales leader, founder, or anyone invested in growth, this episode will change how you think about scaling revenue and building world-class commercial organizations. Get ready for actionable insights and real-world stories that defy the status quo. Some topics we explore in this episode include: How WRP Got Started: The backstory behind Whitten & Roy Partnership, including Speaker B's journey in sales.Sales Reps vs. Sales Managers: Why being good at selling doesn't make you a good manager—and how those roles need different skills.What's This RACE Thing: Results = Attitude + Competence + Execution; it's a formula Speaker B swears by for sales success.The Power of Attitude: Why mindset and willingness to learn matter just as much as—or more than—hard skills.DQ Selling, Step by Step: Their four-step method: get clear on the problem, figure out what it's costing, see if the client actually wants to fix it, then pitch the solution.Precision Listening (Not Just Asking Questions): Inspired by psychologist Carl Rogers, it's all about really listening and playing back what the customer says, not just grilling them.Selling is Selling—Everywhere: Turns out selling in Ghana or Cambodia isn't that different from selling to big Western companies.AI in Sales & Company Culture: AI can help, but it mostly amplifies what's already there—good or bad—in your sales team and culture.Training vs. Real Change: Why one-off training sessions don't stick, and the real secret is embedding new habits through ongoing coaching.Sales Mistakes Leaders Keep Making: Not seeing sales as a science, not coaching enough, and forgetting to keep high performers happy.And much, much more…

Preparing to Meet Your First Client - Humanism vs Person-Centred Therapy In Episode 371 of the Counselling Tutor Podcast, your hosts Rory Lees-Oakes and Ken Kelly explore three key topics relevant to counsellors and counselling students. Firstly, in ‘Ethical, Sustainable Practice', they introduce the emerging conversation around AI in counselling, exploring whether therapists are being left behind and how practitioners can engage with AI ethically. Then in ‘Practice Matters', Rory speaks with Jessica Wing about preparing to meet your very first client, sharing insights to help students transition from classroom practice to real therapeutic work. And finally, in ‘Student Services', Rory and Ken clarify the difference between humanism and person-centred therapy, a common area of confusion for counselling students studying theoretical models. AI in Counselling – Have Therapists Been Left Behind? [starts at 03:07 mins] In this section, Rory and Ken explore the growing role of AI in counselling and why therapists cannot afford to ignore the conversation. Key points discussed include: AI is already embedded in many tools therapists use daily (email systems, video platforms, and software), even if practitioners do not actively use AI themselves. Counsellors don't need to become technology experts, but they do need to understand the ethical implications of AI in practice. Clients are increasingly using AI tools themselves, sometimes discussing personal struggles with chatbots and bringing those experiences into therapy. Therapists can respond with curiosity rather than resistance, exploring how AI interactions affect a client's experience and meaning-making. Practitioners may fall into different camps regarding AI: the enthusiast, the resistor, the anxious middle, or the pragmatist. Ethical frameworks and professional bodies in the UK (such as BACP and NCPS) are already beginning to address AI in guidance and policy. Preparing to Meet Your First Client [starts at 27:55 mins] In this week's Practice Matters, Rory speaks with counsellor and trainer Jessica Wing about preparing to see your first client as a counselling student. Key points from this conversation include: The transition from classroom triads to working with real clients can feel daunting because real clients bring richer and more complex stories. First-session anxiety is normal; leaning on support from supervisors and placement teams can help ground and reassure students. The first session is not about solving everything – it is about building trust, establishing rapport, and beginning the therapeutic relationship. Focusing on relational presence rather than getting everything “right” allows counsellors to be more authentic and effective. Maintaining self-regulation before sessions (for example through breathing exercises or grounding techniques) helps create a calm therapeutic space. Supervision plays a vital role in early practice, offering reassurance, reflection, and professional support as students begin their client work. Humanism vs Person-Centred Therapy [starts at 49:34 mins] In this section, Rory and Ken unpack the difference between humanism and person-centred therapy (PCT), a distinction that often confuses counselling students. Key points include: Humanistic psychology is a broad philosophical approach to understanding people, emphasising growth, free will, and personal meaning. It emerged as the “third force” in psychology, alongside psychoanalysis and behaviourism, influenced by thinkers like Abraham Maslow and Carl Rogers. Person-centred therapy is a specific therapeutic model that applies humanistic principles in practice. PCT is built on the belief in the actualising tendency – the idea that people naturally move toward growth and fulfilment when the right conditions are present. Rogers identified the core conditions (empathy, congruence, and unconditional positive regard) as essential elements for therapeutic change. While many modern therapies incorporate humanistic values, person-centred therapy places the therapeutic relationship and client-led growth at the very centre of the approach. Here is a full handout on this topic: Humanistic Psychology vs Person-Centred Therapy The terms humanistic psychology and person-centred therapy (PCT) are often used interchangeably, but they refer to different levels of theory and practice. Humanistic Psychology (Humanism) Humanistic psychology emerged in the mid-20th century, associated with figures such as Abraham Maslow, Carl Rogers and Rollo May. It became known as the “third force” in psychology, following psychoanalysis and behaviourism. Humanism proposes that people are fundamentally oriented toward growth, meaning and creativity when the right conditions are present. Key Ideas People have an innate drive toward growth and self-actualisation Subjective experience is central to understanding the person Individuals have free will and personal responsibility Therapy focuses on the whole person, not only symptoms In therapy, humanism is an umbrella term that includes several approaches, such as: Person-centred therapy Gestalt therapy Existential therapy Transactional analysis These approaches share a focus on human potential, authenticity and lived experience. Person-Centred Therapy (PCT) Person-centred therapy was developed by Carl Rogers as a specific approach within the humanistic tradition. Central to Rogers' theory is the actualising tendency - the natural human drive toward growth and psychological health. Rogers described several conditions necessary for therapeutic change. Three key therapist attitudes are: Congruence – genuineness and authenticity Unconditional positive regard – acceptance without judgement Empathic understanding – sensing the client's internal frame of reference Person-centred therapy is intentionally non-directive. The client leads the process while the therapist provides the facilitative relational climate for change. Key Differences Level Humanistic psychologyA broad philosophy about human nature and helping. Person-centred therapyA specific therapeutic model developed by Rogers. Scope Humanism influences therapy, education, organisational work and personal development. Person-centred therapy describes a specific way of practising counselling, centred on the relationship and the core conditions. Practice Humanistic practitioners may integrate techniques while maintaining a humanistic philosophy. Classical person-centred therapists prioritise the relational conditions and tend to avoid structured techniques or therapist-led agendas. A Simple Way to Remember Humanistic psychology The broad philosophy that sees people as growth-oriented and best understood through their subjective experience. Person-centred therapy Carl Rogers' specific, non-directive therapeutic approach built around empathy, unconditional positive regard and congruence. Links and Resources Counselling Skills Academy Advanced Certificate in Counselling Supervision Basic Counselling Skills: A Student Guide Counsellor CPD Counselling Study Resource Counselling Theory in Practice: A Student Guide Counselling Tutor Training and CPD Facebook group Website Online and Telephone Counselling: A Practitioner's Guide Online and Telephone Counselling Course

Çocuklarınıza Tutun 5 00:08 Çocuklarınıza Tutunun Kitabı Ve Ebeveynin Rolü 01:00 Olgunlaşma Ve Karşıt Duygularla Yaşayabilmek 02:09 Çocuğun Yörüngesi: Ebeveyn Mi Akranlar Mı? 02:54 Bağ Kurma Ve Olgunlaşma Süreci 07:52 Güçlü Bağlar Ve Gerçek Özgürlük 10:24 Şartsız Kabul Ve Ebeveyn Tavrı 14:31 Özlem Ve Kayıp Hissini Tanıyabilmek 19:48 Çocuklarda Değer Sisteminin Oluşumu 24:57 Beş Aşamalı Meditasyon Bu bölümde Zeynep Aksoy, Çocuklarınıza Tutunun kitabı üzerinden ebeveynlerin çocuklar için güven, sıcaklık ve güçlü bir bağ kaynağı olmasının önemini anlatıyor. Çocukların sağlıklı bir şekilde olgunlaşabilmesi için önce güvenli bir bağ kurmaları gerektiğini, aksi halde yönlerini akranlarına ve popüler kültüre çevirebildiklerini vurguluyor. Güçlü ebeveyn bağının çocuğun değer sistemini geliştirmesine, duygularını tanımasına ve karşıt duygularla yaşayabilmesine yardımcı olduğunu açıklıyor. Ayrıca Carl Rogers'ın “şartsız kabul” yaklaşımına değinerek ebeveynin yargısız ve sıcak bir alan sunmasının çocuk gelişimindeki rolünü ele alıyor. Bölümün sonunda ise dinleyicileri kendileriyle bağ kurmaya destek olan nefes temelli bir mindfulness meditasyonuna davet ediyor. Zeynep Aksoy, saygın bir yoga eğitmeni ve Reset platformunun kurucusudur. Web sitesi üzerinden canlı ve kayıttan izlenebilen dersler, üyelik programları ve profesyonel eğitimler sunmaktadır. Online Stüdyo üyeliği ile günlük çevrim içi derslere, geniş bir arşive ve topluluk desteğine erişim imkânı sağlar. Ayrıca Zeynep, katılımcıların hareket, anatomi ve farkındalık konularında bilgilerini derinleştirmelerine yardımcı olmak için yenilikçi Fasyal Yoga Uzmanlık Programı'nı yürütmektedir. Daha fazla bilgi almak ve sertifikalı eğitimlere katılmak için: www.zeynepaksoyreset.com

Nghe trọn nội dung sách nói Tiến Trình Thành Nhân trên ứng dụng Voiz FM: https://voiz.vn/play/163/“Mỗi chúng ta có thể là một mảnh vỡ giữa đời này, chính chúng ta cũng vỡ làm muôn mảnh. Nhưng xin bạn hãy nhớ, luôn có những giọt vàng quý giá giúp bạn hàn gắn những mảnh vỡ ấy, để một ngày, bạn trở nên vẹn toàn hơn bao giờ hết. Từ giữa những đau thương khốn khó của đời, bạn luôn tỏa sáng lấp lánh.”Trong tâm tưởng sinh viên khoa Tâm lí, đọc Tiến Trình Thành Nhân chẳng những là niềm tự hào để hỉ hả khoe ngầm với bạn bè, mà còn là mục tiêu phấn đấu đầy quyến rũ không dễ đạt tới ngay tắp lự. Với những ai ít nhiều trải nghiệm trong lĩnh vực chăm sóc sức khoẻ và làm kẻ trợ giúp nói chung, các phẩm chất nhân cách nhà trị liệu mà Carl Rogers khởi phát hơn nửa thế kỉ qua vẫn tiếp tục gợi mở nhiều điều đòi buộc phản tỉnh, thay đổi, dựng xây và phát triển, không chỉ kiến thức, kĩ năng mà bao gồm cả đạo đức nhân văn lẫn thành tựu tương tác liên nhân kết hợp dựa trên cả nền tảng khoa học và nghệ thuật.Tại ứng dụng sách nói Voiz FM, sách nói Tiến Trình Thành Nhân được đầu tư chất lượng âm thanh và thu âm chuyên nghiệp, tốt nhất để mang lại trải nghiệm nghe tuyệt vời cho bạn.---Về Voiz FM:Voiz FM là ứng dụng sách nói podcast ra mắt thị trường công nghệ từ năm 2019. Với gần 2000 tựa sách độc quyền, Voiz FM hiện đang là nền tảng sách nói podcast bản quyền hàng đầu Việt Nam. Bạn có thể trải nghiệm miễn phí đa dạng nội dung tại Voiz FM từ sách nói, podcast đến truyện nói, sách tóm tắt và nội dung dành cho thiếu nhi.---Voiz FM website: https://voiz.vn/Theo dõi Facebook Voiz FM: https://www.facebook.com/VoizFMTham khảo thêm các bài viết review, tổng hợp, gợi ý sách để lựa chọn sách nói dễ dàng hơn tại trang Blog Voiz FM: http://blog.voiz.vn/---Cảm ơn bạn đã ủng hộ Voiz FM. Nếu bạn yêu thích sách nói Tiến Trình Thành Nhân và các nội dung sách nói podcast khác, hãy đăng ký kênh để nhận thông báo về những nội dung mới nhất của Voiz FM channel nhé. Ngoài ra, bạn có thể nghe BẢN FULL ĐỘC QUYỀN hàng chục ngàn nội dung Chất lượng cao khác tại ứng dụng Voiz FM.Tải ứng dụng Voiz FM: voiz.vn/download#voizfm #podcast #tientrinhthanhnhan #carlrogers

What might early childhood practice look like if relationships truly came first?   In this article and podcast episode, we explore the idea of unconditional positive regard through the work of two influential figures who shared more than a surname: Carl Rogers and Fred Rogers. Although they worked in different spaces, both highlighted the power of acceptance, connection, and respect in supporting children's growth.   Read the article here: https://thevoiceofearlychildhood.com/unconditional-positive-regard-in-early-childhood-what-we-can-still-learn-from-carl-rogers-and-mister-rogers/   This episode is in partnership with BookedIn BookedIn is a CPD booking platform that connects organisations with verified speakers, trainers and consultants – so you can find the right fit faster, based on your brief, audience and outcomes. You can discover, compare, and manage bookings in one place – designed to help you book with more clarity and confidence. Whether you're booking CPD or are a speaker yourself, they're opening early access soon, and if you want to be first to hear when it's live, join the waiting list NOW! To find out more and sign up to the wait list visit: https://waitlist.bookedin.online/   Listen to more: If you enjoyed this episode, you might also like: ·       Growth mindset in early childhood by Matt Bawler: https://thevoiceofearlychildhood.com/growth-mindset-in-early-childhood-2/ ·       Proactively promoting positive mental health by Matt Bawler: https://thevoiceofearlychildhood.com/proactively-promoting-positive-mental-health/   Get in touch and share your voice: Do you have thoughts, questions or feedback? Get in touch here! – https://thevoiceofearlychildhood.com/contact/   Episode break down: 00:00 – Introduction and welcome 02:15 – Katie and David share their journeys into counselling and early childhood education 05:20 – Why they wrote together about unconditional positive regard 08:15 – What unconditional positive regard looks like in everyday practice 11:00 – How to balance empathy with clear boundaries using the ACT approach 14:30 – Practical examples of setting limits with children 16:45 – How boundaries can communicate care, safety and love 19:10 – Why connecting Carl Rogers and Fred Rogers matters for the early childhood community 22:30 – The ongoing lack of respect and support for early childhood educators 26:00 – Emotional labour and how educators manage feelings in the classroom 27:15 – Natural emoting, surface acting and deep acting explained 31:30 – When "faking it" protects relationships and when it leads to burnout 34:00 – Why teaching in early childhood is emotionally intense and highly complex 37:00 – Helping children build a richer vocabulary for emotions 41:00 – Why modelling emotions is central to children's social and emotional learning 44:00 – Reflecting on whether children feel genuinely wanted and valued 46:00 – Final reflections and episode close For more episodes and articles visit The Voice of Early Childhood website: https://www.thevoiceofearlychildhood.com

O Linhas Cruzadas estreia a nova temporada e esta semana vai debater sobre a “era da autenticidade”. Será que antes de ser feliz é preciso ser autêntico?Thaís Oyama e Luiz Felipe Pondé investigam se a busca pelo “eu verdadeiro” é um gesto de liberdade ou mais uma armadilha da modernidade. A partir de histórias reais e decisões que envolvem carreira, paixões e mudança de vida, o episódio discute se o chamado ‘mal-estar romântico' ainda move escolhas no século XXI — ou se ser autêntico virou estratégia de marketing.No estúdio, a psicóloga humanista Ana Lúcia Palma aprofunda a conversa a partir da teoria de Carl Rogers, explicando o conflito entre o “eu real” e o “eu ideal” e como essa tensão alimenta o sofrimento psíquico contemporâneo.Entre a recusa do envelhecimento, o medo do abandono e a pressão por performance, o programa convida você para refletir se autenticidade ainda é uma virtude.Então não perca, nesta quinta, a partir das 22h30 , na TV Cultura

✅ Descubre Como Entender de Verdad Un Trastorno de Ansiedad y Tomar Acción En Nuestro Curso Gratuito El Mapa de La Ansiedad: https://escuelaansiedad.com/Cursos/el-mapa-de-la-ansiedad ¿Y si el gran error de muchas miradas psicológicas hubiera sido empezar por la pregunta equivocada? Durante décadas, la psicología se centró en detectar “fallos”: el psicoanálisis excavando en heridas del pasado, el conductismo reduciendo al ser humano a un conjunto de respuestas… hasta que una corriente se atrevió a decir: no eres un problema que arreglar, eres un potencial que desplegar. En este episodio de La Teoría de la Mente, dentro de nuestra serie de los jueves de historia de la psicología, viajamos al nacimiento de la Psicología Humanista, conocida como la Tercera Fuerza, para entender cómo cambió el foco: del “¿qué está roto en ti?” al “¿qué es lo mejor que puedes llegar a ser?” Abraham Maslow y la brújula de la motivación Maslow no solo diseñó una teoría: dibujó un mapa de las necesidades humanas. Exploramos su famosa pirámide y cómo su propia historia personal influyó en la forma en que entendía el crecimiento. Hablamos de la diferencia entre vivir persiguiendo placer y seguridad (hedoné) y vivir con sentido y expansión real (eudaimonía). Porque sí: incluso cuando hay cemento por encima, el impulso a crecer sigue ahí… como una planta que empuja hacia la luz. Carl Rogers y el terapeuta “jardinero” Rogers rompió con la idea del terapeuta “mecánico” que arregla piezas defectuosas. En su lugar propuso una relación que nutre, acompaña y permite que la persona florezca. En este episodio desgranamos sus tres condiciones esenciales para el cambio auténtico: ✅ Aceptación positiva incondicional ✅ Empatía precisa ✅ Autenticidad (congruencia) Un enfoque que no te empuja a ser “mejor” por obligación… sino a volver a ti. La trampa de la incongruencia ¿Por qué a veces, incluso “haciendo todo bien”, sentimos vacío? Porque puede que estés viviendo para sostener un personaje: el yo ideal (lo que haces para que te quieran) en lugar del yo real (lo que realmente eres y sientes). Esa distancia crea tensión, desgaste, ansiedad y una sensación de desconexión interna. Hoy te contamos cómo se forma esa brecha… y cómo empezar a cerrarla. Recuerda: tu potencial no se inventa, ya existe en ti. Como un roble entero que vive dentro de una semilla. Solo necesitas el contexto, la comprensión y el “abono psicológico” adecuado para crecer. RECURSOS IMPORTANTES (para seguir avanzando) Curso gratuito — El Mapa de la Ansiedad: https://escuelaansiedad.com/Cursos/el-mapa-de-la-ansiedad Nuestro nuevo libro: www.elmapadelaansiedad.com Nuestra escuela de ansiedad: www.escuelaansiedad.com Visita nuestra página web: http://www.amadag.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Asociacion.Agorafobia/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/amadag.psico/ ▶️ YouTube AMADAG TV: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC22fPGPhEhgiXCM7PGl68rw Si este episodio te ayudó, da el siguiente paso Si quieres entender de verdad cómo funciona la ansiedad (y qué hacer con ella), entra ahora al curso gratuito y empieza a ordenar el mapa mental que lo cambia todo: https://escuelaansiedad.com/Cursos/el-mapa-de-la-ansiedad Preguntas para reflexionar (y comentar) ¿Sientes que estás viviendo de forma auténtica… o intentando cumplir expectativas? ¿Cómo crees que influyó la infancia de Maslow en su pirámide? ¿En qué consiste realmente la terapia centrada en la persona? ¿Qué diferencia hay entre el yo real y el yo ideal en tu vida? Te leemos en comentarios ✨ Keywords (25) psicología humanista, Abraham Maslow, Carl Rogers, tercera fuerza, autorrealización, pirámide de Maslow, eudaimonía, hedoné, motivación humana, necesidades humanas, crecimiento personal, potencial humano, terapia centrada en la persona, aceptación positiva incondicional, empatía precisa, congruencia, incongruencia, yo ideal, yo real, autenticidad, historia de la psicología, psicoterapia humanista, desarrollo personal, sentido de vida, ansiedad #Hashtags (6) #PsicologiaHumanista,#Maslow,#CarlRogers,#CrecimientoPersonal,#TeoriaDeLaMente,#ElMapaDeLaAnsiedad

Carl Rogers' Seven Stages of Process outlines an individual's journey from resistance to fully embracing and initiating change for the positive. Join Dave and Greg as they outline the steps of the process and their reflections on the outline in practice.

"If science tells you what's real and compassion tells you what's right, you're a humanist" - Fish StarkFish Stark, Executive Director of the American Humanist Association (AHA), joins Humanism Now to unpack what a modern humanist revival could look like in the United States. From creator-led storytelling to legal strategy and mutual aid, Fish shares how the AHA is building power, community, and a clearer public-facing vision of humanism rooted in empathy, agency, and responsibility.Connect with Fish StarkPersonal Website – fishstark.comAHA Speakers BureauLinkedInTopics we coverWhy Fish believes the moment is right for a “humanist revival” in AmericaHumanism as identity, not just ideas: agency, responsibility, and moral confidenceWhat the AHA actually does: community-building, lobbying, legal action, and public narrativeWhy the real arena is online, and how the AHA is backing creators to meet people where they areChurch-state separation under pressure, and how coercion shows up in schools and public lifeHumanist chaplaincy and “parallel place” legal recognition as a strategic advantageThe American Empathy Project and why mutual aid is humanism in practiceWhat comedy teaches about organising: pacing, attention, clarity, and joyResources & further readingHumanist Manifesto I – American Humanist Association (1933) – https://americanhumanist.org/what-is-humanism/manifesto1/Peace First – https://peacefirst.org/Born This Way Foundation  – https://bornthisway.foundation/The Good Place – https://www.nbc.com/the-good-placePerson-centered therapy (Carl Rogers) overview – NCBI Bookshelf / StatPearls (2023) – https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK589708/Send a textSupport the showSupport Humanism Now & Join Our Community! Follow @HumanismNowPod | YouTube | TikTok | Instagram | Facebook | Threads | X.com | BlueSky Humanism Now is produced by Humanise Live a podcast production agency based in London, serving charities, companies, and individuals across the globe. Contact us to get starting in podcasting today at humanise.live or hello@humanise.liveMusic: Blossom by Light Prism Podcast transcripts are AI-generated and may contain errors or omissions. They are provided to make our content more accessible, but should not be considered a fully accurate record of the conversation.

In this episode of the Empower World podcast, therapist and executive coach Karen Ledger explores why coaches must continually do their own inner work. Grounded in person-centred principles and the influence of Carl Rogers, she emphasises that genuine relationship - built on congruence, empathy and self-awareness - matters more than any model. She also stresses that ongoing reflection through mentoring and supervision enables coaches to support clients with integrity, courage and care.

Series: Genesis Genesis 1:1-Genesis 2:3 “Who Is This God?!” Carl Rogers

Drawing on the teaching “Appreciate Your Life” from Taizan Maezumi Roshi, Jomon weaves together the Zen story of Gensha with the lives and insights of Carl Rogers, Jon Kabat-Zinn, and Marsha Linehan, showing how trust in direct experience, mindful presence, and compassion reveal the same truth across traditions. Through breath, awareness, and the courage to meet life as it is, she points to a lived understanding that this very life is the life of Buddha, that each moment is complete, and that learning to rest in “this is it” allows gratitude, healing, and confidence in our own true nature to naturally arise. This talk was given at the Plum Blossom Zendo in Vancouver, WA. ★ Support this podcast ★

Most of us spend some part of our lives feeling bad about ourselves and wanting to feel better. But this preoccupation is a surprisingly new one in the history of the world, and can largely be traced back to one man: a rumpled, convertible-driving California state representative named John Vasconcellos who helped spark a movement that took over schools, board rooms, and social-service offices across America in the 1990s. This week, we look at the rise and fall of the self-esteem movement and ask: is it possible to raise your self-esteem? And is trying to do so even a good idea?Special thanks to big thank you to the University of California, Santa Barbara Library for use of audio material from their Humanistic Psychology Archives and to their staff for helping located so many audio recordings. EPISODE CREDITS: Reported by - Heather Radke and Matt Kielty Produced by - Matt KietlyFlute performance and compositions by -  Ben BatchelderVoiceover work by - Dann FinkFact-checking by - Anna Pujol-Mazzini and  Angely Mercadoand Edited by  - Pat WaltersEPISODE CITATIONS:Articles - UCSB Humanistic Psychology Archive (https://zpr.io/HfVjUmvcVevE)Books - Selfie: How We Became So Self-Obsessed and What It's Doing to Us (https://zpr.io/eGRyqz9zNQHu) by Will Storr. Counterpoint, 2018.A Liberating Vision (https://zpr.io/tJn7BR5m84fv) by Vasconcellos, John. Impact Publishers, Inc., 1979The Therapeutic State (https://zpr.io/tJn7BR5m84fv) by Nolan, James, Jr. NYU Press, 1998Our newsletter comes out every Wednesday. It includes short essays, recommendations, and details about other ways to interact with the show. Sign up (https://radiolab.org/newsletter)!Radiolab is supported by listeners like you. Support Radiolab by becoming a member of The Lab (https://members.radiolab.org/) today.Follow our show on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook @radiolab, and share your thoughts with us by emailing radiolab@wnyc.org.Leadership support for Radiolab's science programming is provided by the Gordon and Betty Moore Foundation, Science Sandbox, a Simons Foundation Initiative, and the John Templeton Foundation. Foundational support for Radiolab was provided by the Alfred P. Sloan Foundation.

We're immersed in a universe of invisible energy fields, like swimmers in a vast ocean. Often beyond awareness, these forces shape and are shaped by us. This dialogue explores the Personal, Social, and Noetic fields and how conscious awareness of them helps us create a more just and compassionate world.Alan Briskin, Ph.D. earned his doctorate in organizational psychology and is a pioneer in the field of organizational learning. He is co-founder of the Collective Wisdom Initiative and has been consultant to many large corporations including Lucasfilm, Sutter Health, Kaiser Permanente, and the Goi Peace Foundation. His books include:The Stirring of Soul in the Workplace (Berrett-Koehler 1998),The Power of Collective Wisdom and the Trap of Collective Folly (co-authors, Sheryl Erickson, Tom Callanan, and John Ott)(Berrett-Koehler 2009) and Daily Miracles: Stories and Practices of Humanity and Excellence in Health Care (co-author Jan Boller) (Sigma Theta Tau International; 1st edition 2006)Mary V. Gelinas, Ed.D. is an organizational development consultant devoted to the art of conscious social change. As an educator and consultant with more than forty years of experience working in brain research, contemplative practices, social psychology, and systems thinking. Her organizational redesign projects focus on innovative and inclusive solutions for business, government, health care, and education, for such diverse clients as the Global Covenant of Mayors for Climate and Energy and Vanderbilt University Medical Center. She is the author of:Talk Matters: Saving the World One Word at a Time. (Friesen Press 2026)Briskin and Gelinas are the co-authors of Space is Not Empty: How Hidden Fields Are Shaping Your Life and Our World (Friesen Press 2025)Interview Date: 11/14/2025 Tags: Alan Briskin, Mary V. Genlinas, Personal fields, Social fields, Noetic fields, wondering, curiosity, David Bohm, Carl Rogers, shifting the norm, fields are permeable, group disruption, noticing, certainty, uncertainty, body wisdom, Personal Transformation, Psychology, Science, Social Change/Politics

Alan Briskin, Ph.D. earned his doctorate in organizational psychology and is a pioneer in the field of organizational learning. He is co-founder of the Collective Wisdom Initiative and has been consultant to many large corporations including Lucasfilm, Sutter Health, Kaiser Permanente, and the Goi Peace Foundation. His books include The Stirring of Soul in the Workplace (Berrett-Koehler 1998),The Power of Collective Wisdom and the Trap of Collective Folly (co-authors, Sheryl Erickson, Tom Callanan, and John Ott)(Berrett-Koehler 2009) and Daily Miracles: Stories and Practices of Humanity and Excellence in Health Care (co-author Jan Boller) (Sigma Theta Tau International; 1st edition 2006)Mary V. Gelinas, Ed.D. is an organizational development consultant devoted to the art of conscious social change. As an educator and consultant with more than forty years of experience working in brain research, contemplative practices, social psychology, and systems thinking. Her organizational redesign projects focus on innovative and inclusive solutions for business, government, health care, and education, for such diverse clients as the Global Covenant of Mayors for Climate and Energy and Vanderbilt University Medical Center. She is the author of Talk Matters: Saving the World One Word at a Time. (Friesen Press 2026)Briskin and Gelinas are the co-authors of Space is Not Empty: How Hidden Fields Are Shaping Your Life and Our World (Friesen Press 2025)Interview Date: 11/14/2025 Tags: Alan Briskin, Mary V. Genlinas, Personal fields, Social fields, Noetic fields, wondering, curiosity, David Bohm, Carl Rogers, shifting the norm, fields are permeable, group disruption, noticing, certainty, uncertainty, body wisdom, Personal Transformation, Psychology, Science, Social Change/Politics

It's time to breakup with watered-down content and instead, ask our people to rise with us.In this episode, I announce the podcast rebrand (finally!), why I'm going all-in on 2-3 episodes per week, and what happens when you delete social apps from your phone for just ONE week. Spoiler: total clarity.I dive deep into why Rosalía's Lux, Sinners, and Heated Rivalry are proof that audiences are STARVING for work that challenges them — and why we need to stop underestimating people's capacity to pay attention.Plus: why "the more we are in the era of dopamine, the more I want the opposite" is my new creative north star, and how I'm building SUPERNOVA as a thinking lab where we synthesize obsessions into worldviews that actually move culture.Snippets from this episode:The podcast rebrand: After 8 years, I'm retiring "In My Non-Expert Opinion" because it was a shield I no longer need. I'm ready to own my voice, go full throttle, and podcast 2-3x/week.Deleting social apps = instant brain space - I took the apps off my phone for one week and the clarity was WILD. Ideas landed, brain fog lifted, and I realized: why am I not treating online platforms like contract jobs instead of letting them scatter my attention 24/7?Rosalía, Sinners, and Heated Rivalry are giving us credit to pay attention - These aren't light, bubblegum experiences. Rosalía dropped an album in 14 languages with the London Symphony Orchestra. Sinners demand you clock in to catch the symbolism. Heated Rivalry became a global phenomenon not because "the guys are hot," but because it shows radical intimacy and vulnerability on screen.We connect through challenge, not just agreement - Rosalía didn't water down Lux for mass appeal; she asked us to rise with her. The most powerful connection happens when artists challenge us to expand our capacity."What is most personal is most universal" - Carl Rogers said it, and Heated Rivalry proves it. We're obsessed because we see ourselves in the yearning, the walls, the avoidance. When you dig into YOUR inner treasure chest and build a captivating world, people will leave their old ones behind to join you.Question of the week: Why do we say "pay attention"? Email me at team@chelseariffe.com or DM me @chelseariffe with your thoughts.This episode is fueled by FOOTNOTES, my newsletter filled with rabbit holes, synthesis, questions and more.Connect with Chelsea:

"It is a sparkling thing when I encounter realness of another person… When this happens, I leap to meet it." – Carl Rogers Carl Rogers is one of the most influential—and often misunderstood—figures in psychology. In this episode, Lisa returns to Rogers' own words and teachings to explore what he was truly inviting clinicians to embody. Through a nervous-system-informed lens, this conversation highlights how authenticity, presence, and self-acceptance create the conditions for felt safety and relational connection. Lisa explores why Rogers' emphasis on "realness" isn't just philosophical—it's deeply regulatory, shaping how clients experience safety, attunement, and healing in the therapeutic relationship. Some of what emerges may challenge what you thought you knew about Rogers and deepen how you understand the embodied foundations of effective therapy. Original Air Date: April 3, 2019 Podcast Resources:  Synergetic Play Therapy Institute Synergetic Play Therapy Learning Website FREE Resources to support you on your play therapy journey  Aggression in Play Therapy: A Neurobiological Approach to Integrating Intensity * If you enjoy this podcast, please give us a five-star rating and review on Apple Podcast, subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts, and invite your friends/fellow colleagues to join us.

Episode Notes This week on Live Like the World is Dying, we have another re-run episode. Margaret and Smokey talk about ways to go about mental first aid, how to alter responses to trauma for you self and as a community, different paths to resiliency, and why friendship and community are truly the best medicine. Host Info Margaret can be found on twitter @magpiekilljoy or instagram at @margaretkilljoy. Publisher Info This show is published by Strangers in A Tangled Wilderness. We can be found at www.tangledwilderness.org, or on Twitter @TangledWild and Instagram @Tangled_Wilderness. You can support the show on Patreon at www.patreon.com/strangersinatangledwilderness. Transcript LLWD:Smokey on Mental First Aid Margaret 00:15 Hello and welcome to Live Like the World is Dying, your podcast are what feels like the end times. I'm your host, Margaret killjoy. And, this week or month...or let's just go with 'episode'. This episode is going to be all about mental health and mental health first aid and ways to take care of your mental health and ways to help your community and your friends take care of their mental health, and I think you'll like it. But first, this podcast is a proud member of the Channel Zero network of anarchists podcasts. And here's a jingle from another show on the network. Margaret 01:52 Okay, with me today is Smokey. Smokey, could you introduce yourself with your your name, your pronouns, and I guess a little bit about your background about mental health stuff? Smokey 02:04 Sure, I'm Smokey. I live and work in New York City. My pronouns are 'he' and 'him.' For 23 years, I've been working with people managing serious mental illness in an intentional community, I have a degree in psychology, I have taught psychology at the University level, I have been doing social work for a long time, but I've been an anarchist longer. Margaret 02:43 So so the reason I want to have you on is I want to talk about mental health first aid, or I don't know if that's the way it normally gets expressed, but that's the way I see it in my head. Like how are...I guess it's a big question, but I'm interested in exploring ways that we can, as bad things happen that we experience, like some of the best practices we can do in order to not have that cause lasting mental harm to us. Which is a big question. But maybe that's my first question anyway. Smokey 03:12 I mean, the, the truth is bad things will happen to us. It's part of living in the world, and if you are a person that is heavily engaged in the world, meaning, you know, you're involved in politics, or activism, or even just curious about the world, you will probably be exposed on a more regular basis to things that are bad, that can traumatize us. But even if you're not involved in any of those things, you're going to go through life and have really difficult things happen to you. Now, the good news is, that's always been the case for people. We've always done this. And the good news is, we actually know a lot about what goes into resilience. So, how do you bounce back quickly and hopefully thrive after these experiences? I think that is an area that's only now being really examined in depth. But, we have lots of stories and some research to show that actually when bad things happen to us, there is an approach that actually can help catalyst really impressive strength and move...change our life in a really positive direction. We also know that for most people, they have enough reserve of resiliency that....and they can draw upon other resiliency that they're not chronically affected by it, however, and I would argue how our society is kind of structured, we're seeing more and more people that are suffering from very serious chronic effects of, what you said, bad things happening, or what is often traumatic things but it's not just traumatic things that cause chronic problems for us. But, that is the most kind of common understanding so, so while most people with most events will not have a chronic problem, and you can actually really use those problems, those I'm sorry, those events, let's call them traumatic events, those traumatic events they'll really actually improve your thriving, improve your life and your relationship to others in the world. The fact is, currently, it's an ever growing number of people that are having chronic problems. And that's because of the system. Margaret 06:19 Yeah, there's this like, there was an essay a while ago about it, I don't remember it very well, but it's called "We Are Also Very Anxious," and it it was claiming that anxiety is one of the general affects of society today, because of kind of what you're talking about, about systems that set us up to be anxious all the time and handle things in... Smokey 06:42 I think what most people don't understand is, it is consciously, in the sense that it's not that necessarily it's the desire to have the end goal of people being anxious, and people being traumatized, but it is conscious in that we know this will be the collateral outcome of how we set up the systems. That I think is fairly unique and and really kind of pernicious. Margaret 07:17 What are some of the systems that are setting us up to be anxious or traumatized? Smokey 07:23 Well, I'm gonna reverse it a little bit, Margaret. I'm going to talk about what are the things we need to bounce back or have what has been called 'resilience,' and then you and I can explore how our different systems actually make us being able to access that much more difficult. Margaret 07:47 Okay. Oh, that makes sense. Smokey 07:49 The hallmark of resiliency, ironically, is that it's not individual. Margaret 07:57 Okay. Smokey 07:57 In fact, if you look at the research, there are very few, there's going to be a couple, there's gonna be three of them, but very few qualities of an individual psychology or makeup that is a high predictor of resiliency. Margaret 08:20 Okay. Smokey 08:21 And these three are kind of, kind of vague in the sense they're not, they're not terribly dramatic, in a sense. One is, people that tend to score higher on appreciation of humor, tends to be a moderate predictor of resiliency. Margaret 08:46 I like that one. Smokey 08:47 You don't have to be funny yourself. But you can appreciate humor. Seems to be a....and this is tends to be a cross cultural thing. It's pretty low. There are plenty of people that that score very low on that, that also have resiliency. That's the other thing, I'll say that these three personality traits are actually low predictors of resiliency. Margaret 09:13 Compared to the immunity ones that you're gonna talk about? Smokey 09:16 So one is appreciation of humor seems to be one. So, these are intrinsic things that, you know, maybe we got from our family, but but we hold them in ourselves, right? The second one is usually kind of put down as 'education.' And there tends to be a reverse bell curve. If you've had very, very low education, you tend to be more resilient. If you've had extreme professionalization, you know, being a doctor, being a lawyer, well, not even being a lawyer, because that's the only...but many, many years of schooling, PhD things like that, it's not what you study. There's something about... Smokey 10:10 Yeah, or that you didn't. They're almost equal predictors of who gets traumatized. And then the the last one is kind of a 'sense of self' in that it's not an ego strength as we kind of understand it, but it is an understanding of yourself. The people that take the surveys, that they score fairly high....So I give you a survey and say, "What do you think about Smokey on these different attributes?" You give me a survey and say, "Smokey, how would you rate yourself on these different attributes?" Margaret 10:11 It's that you studied. Margaret 10:32 Okay. Smokey 10:59 So, it's suggesting that I have some self-reflexivity about what my strengths and weaknesses are. I can only know that because they're married by these also. Margaret 11:11 Okay. So it's, it's not about you rating yourself high that makes you resilient, it's you rating yourself accurately tohow other people see you. Smokey 11:18 And again, I want to stress that these are fairly low predictors. Now, you'll read a million books, kind of pop like, or the, these other ones. But when you actually look at the research, it's not, you know, it's not that great. So those..however, the ones that are big are things like 'robustness of the social network.' So how many relations and then even more, if you go into depth, 'what are those relationships' and quantity does actually create a certain level of quality, interestingly, especially around things called 'micro-social interactions,' which are these interactions that we don't even think of as relationships, maybe with storepersons, how many of these we have, and then certain in depth, having that combined with a ring of kind of meaningful relationships. And meaningful meaning not necessarily who is most important to me, but how I share and, and share my emotions and my thoughts and things like that. So, there's a lot on that. That is probably the strongest predictor of resilience. Another big predictor of resilience is access to diversity in our social networks. So, having diverse individuals tend to give us more resiliency, and having 'time,' processing time, also gives us more...are high predictors of resiliency, the largest is a 'sense of belonging.' Margaret 13:14 Okay. Smokey 13:15 So that trauma...events that affect our sense of belonging, and this is why children who have very limited opportunities to feel a sense of belonging, which are almost always completely limited, especially for very young children to the family, if that is cut off due to the trauma, or it's already dysfunctional and has nothing to do with the trauma, that sense of belonging, that lack of sense of belonging makes it very difficult to maintain resilience. So. So those are the things that, in a nutshell, we're going to be talking about later about 'How do we improve these?' and 'How do we maximize?' And 'How do we leverage these for Mental Health First Aid?' We can see how things like the internet, social media, capitalism, you know, kind of nation state building, especially as we understand it today, all these kinds of things errode a lot of those things that we would want to see in building resilient people. Margaret 14:28 Right. Smokey 14:28 And, you know, making it more difficult to access those things that we would need. Margaret 14:34 No, that's...this...Okay, yeah, that makes it obvious that the answer to my question of "What are the systems that deny us resiliency?" are just all of this. Yeah, because we're like....most people don't have...there's that really depressing statistic or the series of statistics about the number of friends that adults have in our society, and how it keeps going down every couple of decades. Like, adults just have fewer and fewer friends. And that... Smokey 15:00 The number, the number is the same for children, though too. Margaret 15:05 Is also going down, is what you're saying? Smokey 15:07 Yes. They have more than adults. But compared to earlier times, they have less. So, the trend is not as steep as a trendline. But, but it is still going down. And more importantly, there was a big change with children at one point, and I'm not sure when it historically happened. But, the number of people they interacted with, was much more diverse around age. Margaret 15:39 Oh, interesting. Smokey 15:40 So they had access to more diversity. Margaret 15:43 Yeah, yeah. When you talk about access to diversity, I assume that's diversity in like a lot of different axis, right? I assume that's diversity around like people's like cultural backgrounds, ethnic backgrounds, age. Like, but even like... Smokey 15:56 Modes of thought. Margaret 15:58 Yeah, well, that's is my guess, is that if you're around more people, you have more of an understanding that like, reality is complicated, and like different people see things in different ways. And so therefore, you have a maybe a less rigid idea of what should happen. So, then if something happens outside of that, you're more able to cope, or is this...does... like, because I look at each of these things and I can say why I assume they affect resiliency, but obviously, that's not what you're presenting, you're not presenting how they affect resiliency, merely that they seem to? Smokey 16:34 Yeah, and I don't know, if we know exactly how they affect, and we don't know how they...the effect of them together, you know, social sciences, still pretty primitive. So they, they need to look at single variables, often. But you know, we know with chemistry and biology and ecology, which I think are a little more sophisticated...and physics, which is more sophisticated. The real interesting stuff is in the combinations. Margaret 17:09 Yeah. Okay. Smokey 17:10 So what happens when you have, you know, diversity, but also this diverse and robust social network? Is that really an addition? Or is that a multiplication moment? For resiliency. Margaret 17:23 Right. And then how does that affect like, if that comes at the expense of...well, it probably wouldn't, but if it came at the expense of processing time or something. Smokey 17:33 Exactly. Margaret 17:35 Or, like, you know, okay, I could see how it would balance with education in that, like, I think for a lot of people the access to diversity that they encounter first is like going off to college, right, like meeting people from like, different parts of the world, or whatever. Smokey 17:49 I forgot to mention one other one, but it is, 'meaning.' Meaning is very important. People that score high, or report, meaning deep, kind of core meaning also tend to have higher resiliency. That being said, they...and don't, don't ever confuse resiliency with like, happiness or contentment. It just means that the dysfunction or how far you're knocked off track due to trauma, and we're, we're using trauma in the larger sense of the word, you know, how long it takes you to get back on track, or whether you can even get back on track to where you were prior to the event is what we're talking about. So it's not, this is not a guide to happiness or living a fulfilled life. It's just a guide to avoid the damage. Margaret 19:01 But if we made one that was a specifically a 'How to have a happy life,' I feel like we could sell it and then have a lot of money.Have you considered that? [lauging] Smokey 19:11 Well one could argue whether that's even desirable to have a happy life. That's a whole philosophical thing. That's well beyond my paygrade Margaret 19:22 Yeah, every now and then I have this moment, where I realized I'm in this very melancholy mood, and I'm getting kind of kind of happy about it. And I'm like, "Oh, I'm pretty comfortable with this. This is a nice spot for me." I mean, I also like happiness, too, but you know. Okay, so, this certainly implies that the, the way forward for anyone who's attempting to build resiliency, the sort of holistic solution is building community. Like in terms of as bad stuff happens. Is that... Smokey 19:58 Community that's...and community not being just groups. Okay, so you can, I think, you know, the Internet has become an expert at creating groups. There lots of groups. But community, or communitas or the sense of belonging is more than just a shared interest and a shared knowledge that there's other like-minded people. You'll hear the internet was great for like minded people to get together. But, the early internet was really about people that were sharing and creating meaning together. And I think that was very powerful. That, you know, that seems harder to access on today's Internet, and certainly the large social media platforms are consciously designed to achieve certain modes of experience, which do not lend themselves to that. Margaret 21:06 Right, because it's like the...I don't know the word for this. Smokey 21:10 It's Capitalism. Like, yeah, we're hiding the ball. The ball is Capitalism. Margaret 21:14 Yeah. Smokey 21:14 And how they decided to go with an advertising model as opposed to any other model, and that requires attention. Margaret 21:21 Yeah. Because it seems like when you talk about a robust social network, I mean, you know, theoretically, social network, like social networks, you know, Twitter calls itself a social network, right? And is there anything in the micro social interactions that one has online? Is there value in that? Or do you think that the overall...I mean, okay, because even like looking at... Smokey 21:46 I think there has to be value, I think, yeah, they did. I was reading just today, actually, about research, it was in England, with...this one hospital decided to send postcards to people who had been hospitalized for suicidal attempts. Margaret 22:09 Okay. Smokey 22:10 Most of them ended up in the mental health thing, some of them didn't, because they they left beyond, you know, against medical advice, or whatever. But, anyone that came in presenting with that a month, and then three months later, they sent another postcard just saying, "You know, we're all thinking about you, we're hoping you're all you're doing, alright. We have faith in you," that kind of thing like that, right. Nice postcard, purposely chosen to have a nice scene, sent it out. And they followed up, and they found a significant reduction in further attempts, rehospitalizations of these people, so that's a very, you know, there's no, it's a one way communication, it's not person-to-person, and it had some impact on I would guess one could argue the resiliency of those people from giving into suicidal ideation. Right. Margaret 23:13 Yeah. Smokey 23:14 So I think this is to say that, you know, we'd be...unplugging the internet, you know, that kind of Luddite approach doesn't make sense. There is a value to answer your question to the the internet's micro social interactions. It's just we...it's complicated, because you can't just have micro-social interactions unfortunately, but you need them. Margaret 23:44 Yeah. No, that that's really interesting to me, because yeah, so there's, there is a lot of value that is coming from these things, but then the overall effect is this like, like, for example, even like access to diversity, right? In a lot of ways, theoretically, the Internet gives you access to like everything. But then, instead, it's really designed to create echo chambers in the way that the algorithms and stuff feed people information. And echo chambers of thought is the opposite of diversity, even if the echo chamber of thought is like about diversity. Smokey 24:16 Yeah, I mean, it's set up again, almost as if it were to kind of naturally organically grow, we would probably have just as chaotic and and people would still just be as angry at the Internet, but it probably would develop more resilience in people. Because it wouldn't be stunted by this need to attract attention. The easiest way to do that is through outrage. Easiest way to do that is quickly and fast, so it takes care of your processing time. And relative anonymity is the coin of these kinds of things, you know, that's why bots and things like that, you know, they're not even humans, right? You know, they're just...so all these kinds of things stunt and deform, what could potentially be useful, not a silver bullet, and certainly not necessary to develop resiliency, strong resiliency. You don't need the internet to do that. And there are certain...using the internet, you know, there's going to be certain serious limitations because of the design, how it's designed. Margaret 25:42 Okay, well, so hear me out. If the internet really started coming in latter half of the 20th century, that kind of lines up to when cloaks went out of style.... Smokey 25:54 Absolutely, that's our big problem. And they haven't done any research on cloak and resiliency. Margaret 26:00 I feel that everyone who wears a cloak either has a sense of belonging, or a distinct lack of a sense of belonging. Probably start off with a lack of sense of belonging, but you end up with a sense of belonging So, okay, okay. Smokey 26:15 So I want to say that there's two things that people confuse and a very important. One, is how to prevent chronic effects from traumatic experiences. And then one is how to take care of, if you already have or you you develop a chronic effect of traumatic experiences. Nothing in the psychology literature, sociology literature, anthropology literature, obviously, keeps you from having traumatic experiences. Margaret 26:52 Right. Smokey 26:54 So one is how to prevent it from becoming chronic, and one is how to deal with chronic and they're not the same, they're quite, quite different. So you know, if you already have a chronic traumatic response of some sort, post traumatic stress syndrome, or any of the other related phenomena, you will approach that quite differently than building resilience, which doesn't protect you from having trauma, a traumatic experience. It just allows you to frame it, understand it, maybe if you're lucky, thrive and grow from it. But at worst, get you back on track in not having any chronic problems. Margaret 27:48 Okay, so it seems like there's three things, there's the holistic, building a stronger base of having a community, being more resilient in general. And then there's the like direct first aid to crisis and trauma, and then there's the long term care for the impacts of trauma. Okay, so if so, we've talked a bit about the holistic part of it, you want to talk about the the crisis, the thing to do in the immediate sense as it's happening or whatever? Smokey 28:15 For yourself or for somebody else? Margaret 28:18 Let's start with self. Smokey 28:20 So, self is go out and connect to your social network as much as you can, which is the opposite of what your mind and body is telling you. And that's why I think so much of the quote unquote, "self-care" movement is so wrong. You kind of retreat from your social network, things are too intense, I'm going to retreat from your social network. The research suggests that's the opposite of what you should be doing, you should connect. Now, if you find yourself in an unenviable situation where you don't have a social network, then you need to connect to professionals, because they, they can kind of fill in for that social Network. Therapists, social workers, peer groups, support groups, things like that they can kind of fill in for that. The problem is you don't have that sense of belonging. Well, with support groups, you might. You see this often in AA groups or other support groups. You don't really get that in therapy or or group therapy so much. But that is the first thing and so connect to your group. Obviously on the other side, if you're trying to help your community, your group, you need to actively engage that person who has been traumatized. Margaret 29:33 Yeah, okay. Smokey 29:35 And it's going to be hard. And you need to keep engaging them and engaging them in what? Not distractions: Let's go to a movie, get some ice cream, let's have a good time. And not going into the details of the traumatic experience so much as reconnecting them to the belonging, our friendship, if that. Our political movement, if that. Our religious movement, if that. Whatever that...whatever brought you two together. And that could be you being the community in this person, or could be you as Margaret in this person connecting on that, doubling down on that, and often I see people do things like, "Okay, let's do some self care, or let's, let's do the opposite of whatever the traumatic experience was," if it came from, say oppression, either vicarious or direct through political involvement let's, let's really connect on a non-political kind of way. Margaret 31:19 Ah I see! Smokey 31:21 And I'm saying, "No, you should double down on the politics," reminding them of right what you're doing. Not the trauma necessarily not like, "Oh, remember when you got beaten up, or your, your significant other got arrested or got killed by the police," but it's connecting to meaning, and bringing the community together. Showing the resiliency of the community will vicariously and contagiously affect the individual. And again, doesn't have to be political could be anything. Margaret 32:01 Yeah. Is that? How does that that feels a little bit like the sort of 'get right back on the horse kind of thing.' But then like, in terms of like, socially, rather than, because we 'get back on the horse,' might mean might imply, "Oh, you got beat up at a riot. So go out to the next riot." And that's what you're saying instead is so "Involve you in the fundraising drive for the people who are dealing with this including you," or like... Smokey 32:28 And allowing an expectation that the individual who's been traumatized, might be having a crisis of meaning. And allowing that conversation, to flow and helping that person reconnect to what they found meaningful to start with. So getting right back on the horse again, it's reminding them why they love horses. Margaret 33:02 Yeah. Okay, that makes sense. Okay, I have another question about the the crisis first aid thing, because there's something that, you know, something that you talked to me about a long time ago, when I was working on a lot of like reframing. I was working on coping with trauma. And so maybe this actually relates instead to long term care for trauma. And I, I thought of this as a crisis first aid kind of thing, is I'll use a like, low key example. When I was building my cabin, I'm slightly afraid of heights, not terribly, but slightly. And so I'm on a ladder in the middle of nowhere with no one around and I'm like climbing up the ladder, and I'm nailing in boards. And I found myself saying, "Oh, well, I only have three more boards. And then I'm done. I can get off the ladder. "And then I was like, "No, what I need to do is say, it's actually fine, I am fine. And I can do this," rather than like counting down until I can get off the ladder. And so this is like a way that I've been working on trying to build resiliency, you can apply this to lots of things like if I'm on an airplane, and I'm afraid of flying or something I can, instead of being like, "Five more hours and then we're there. Four more hours and then we're there," instead of being like, "It's actually totally chill that I'm on an airplane. This is fine." And basically like telling myself that to reframe that. Is this....Am I off base with this? Is this tie into this, there's just a different framework? Smokey 34:27 That is what the individual should be trying to do is connect the three different things, keeping it simple. One, is to the community which gives them nourishment. On a plane or on your roof, that's not going to happen. Margaret 34:44 Yeah. Smokey 34:45 Though, actually, to be honest. If you're nervous and you have...go back to your roof example, which I think is a pretty good one. Let's say that you had more than three boards. Let's say it was gonna take you a couple hours to do that. But it's something you're nervous about, connecting to somebody in your social network, whether you, you have your earphones on, and you're just talking to them before or during...after doesn't help. That does one way. Or the other is connecting to what you were doing, which is connecting to kind of reframing or your own internal resilience. I've done something similar like this before. This is not something that is going to need to throw me, it is what's called pocketing the anxiety. Margaret 35:45 Okay. Smokey 35:45 Where you're other-izing it, being like, it's coming from you too, right? being like, "Hey, you could fall. This plane could go down," right? That that's still you, you're generating that. You're not hearing that over to, and you're saying, "Okay, but I'm going to try, you know, give primacy to this other voice in my head. That is saying, "You've got this, it's all right, you've done things like this before."" So that's the second thing. And that's what you were doing. So you could connect to your community, you could connect to kind of a reserve of resiliency. And to do that is allow that one to be pocketed. But be like, "Hey, I want to hear from what this core thing has to say. I want to hear from what the positive person on the front row has to say." You're not arguing with that one. You're just listening. You're changing your, your, what you're attuned to. And then the third one is, if you can, you connect to the meaning. What is the meaning of building the house for you? Where are you going on your flight? And why is it important? Margaret 37:03 Yeah. Okay, Smokey 37:05 And that anxiety and the fact that you're doing it, you want to give again, the primacy to the importance, that "Yeah, I'm really nervous, I'm really freaked out about this, but this thing is so important, or so good for me, or so healthy for me to do this. This must mean it's going to be really important. And I'm connecting to why it's important and focusing on that. So those are the three things that the individual can do. The helping person or community is engagement. The second one is the same, reconnecting to the meaning. Why did you love horses in the first place? Okay, don't have to get back on the horse. But let's not forget horses are awesome. Margaret 37:58 Yeah. Smokey 37:58 And Horseback riding is awesome. Margaret 38:01 Yeah. Smokey 38:01 And you were really good at it before you got thrown. But you know, you don't have to do it now, but let's, let's just let's just share our love of horses for a moment and see how that makes you feel. And then the third one is that kind of drawing upon, instead of drawing upon the individual resilience, which you were doing, like, "Hey, I got this," or the plane, you know, you were, you're hearing from other people, you're drawing upon their individual resilience. "Smokey, tell me about the time you did this thing that was hard." And I tell ya, you're like, "Well, Smokey can fucking do that I can do it. You don't even think...it doesn't even work necessarily consciously. Margaret 38:50 Right. Smokey 38:51 So you could see that what you're doing individually, the helper or the community is doing complementary. Margaret 38:59 Yeah. Smokey 39:00 And now you can see why a lot of self care narrative, a lot of taking a break a lot of burnout narrative, all these things, at best aren't going to help you and at worst, in my opinion, are kind of counterproductive. Margaret 39:17 Well, and that's the, to go to the, you know, working on my roof thing I think about...because I've had some success with this. I've had some success where I....there's certain fears that I have, like, suppressed or something like I've stopped being as afraid of...the fear is no longer a deciding factor in my decision making, because of this kind of reframing this kind of like, yeah, pocketing like...And it's probably always useful to have the like, I don't want to reframe so completely that I just walk around on a roof all the time, without paying attention to what I'm doing, right?Because people do that and then they fall and the reason that there's a reason that roofing is one of the most dangerous jobs in America. So a, I don't know I yeah, I, I appreciate that, that you can do that. And then if it's a thing you're going to keep doing anyway, it becomes easier if you start handling it like, carefully, you know? Smokey 40:17 Well, you don't want to give it too much. So why do we? Why is it natural for us to take anxiety or fear and focus on it? It's somewhat evolutionary, right? It's a threat, right? It's supposed to draw your attention, right? It's supposed to draw your attention. And if you're not careful, it will draw your attention away from other things that are quieter that like that resiliency in the front row you need to call on, because they're not as flashy, right? So I don't think you have to worry about threat....You're right. You don't want to get to the point where you and that's why I say 'pocket it,' as opposed to 'deny it, suppress it, argue with it. demolish it.' I think it's good to have that little, "Beep, beep, beep there's a threat," and then being like, "Okay, but I want to continue to do this. Let's hear from resiliency in the front row. What? What do you have to tell me too?" You have to not...what happens is we go into the weeds of the threat. Oh, so what? "Oh, I fall off and I compound fracture, and I'm way out here in the woods, and no one's going to get me. My phone isn't charged." That's not what the original beep was. Original beep like, "You're high up on a ladder, seems unstable. This seems sketchy," right? Okay. Got that. And then resilience is, "Yeah, you've done lots of sketchy stuff. You've written in the back of a pickup truck. That's sketchy, so seatbelt there, nothing, you know, let me remind you that that you can overcome." And, but by going into the anxiety, going into the fear, you're forcing yourself to justify the thing. And then it becomes more and more elaborate, and it gets crazier and crazier very quickly. You know, all of sudden, you're bleeding out and you're cutting your leg off with a pen knife. It's like, "Wow, how did all this happen?" Margaret 42:38 Yeah, well, and that's actually something that comes up a lot in terms of people interacting with the show and about like preparedness in general. Because in my mind, the point of paying attention to how to deal with forest fire while I live in the woods, is not to then spend all of my time fantasizing and worrying about forest fire. But instead, to compare it to this ladder, if I get this "Beep, beep, the ladder is unstable." I climb down, I stabilize the ladder as best as I can. And then I climb back up and I do the thing. And then when I think about like, with fire, I'm like, "Okay, I have done the work to minimize the risk of fire. And so now I can stop thinking about it." Like, I can listen to the little beep, beep noise and do the thing. And now I can ignore the beep beep because just like literally, when you're backing up a truck and it goes beep, beep, you're like, yeah, no, I know, I'm backing up. Thanks. You know, like, Smokey 43:35 Yeah, it's good to know, it's good to know, you're not going forward. Margaret 43:39 Yeah, no. No, okay. That's interesting. And then the other thing that's really interesting about this, the thing that you're presenting, is it means that in some ways, work that we present as very individual in our society, even in radical society, is actually community based on this idea, like so conquering phobias is something that we help one another do, it seems like, Smokey 44:02 Absolutely. I mean, the best stuff on all this stuff is that people reverse engineering it to make people do dangerous, bad things. The military. Margaret 44:18 Yeah, they're probably pretty good at getting people to conquer phobias. Yep. Smokey 44:21 They have a great sense of belonging. They have a great sense of pulling in internal resilient, group resilient, connecting to meaning even when it's absolutely meaningless what you're doing. It's all the dark side of what we're talking about, but it's quite effective and it literally wins wars. Margaret 44:47 Yeah, that makes sense. Because you have this whole... Smokey 44:50 Literally it changes history. And so, the good news is, we can kind of reclaim that for what I think it was originally purposed to do, which is to protect us from the traumas that we had to go through in our evolutionary existence. So we couldn't afford to have a whole bunch of us chronically disabled. Meaning unable to function, you know, they've just taken it and, and bent it a little bit, and learned very deeply about it, how to how to use it for the things that really cause, you know, physical death and injury. And, and, you know, obviously, they're not perfect, you have a lot of trauma, but not, not as much as you would expect for what they do. And every year they get better and better. Margaret 45:51 Hooray. Smokey 45:53 We have to get on top of our game. Margaret 45:56 Yeah. Smokey 45:57 And get people not to do what they do. I'm not suggesting reading...well maybe reading military, but not...you can't use those tools to make people truly free and resilient. Margaret 46:17 Yeah. Smokey 46:18 In the healthy kind of way. Yeah. Margaret 46:22 Okay, so in our three things, there's the holistic, prepared resiliency thing, then there's the immediate, the bad thing is happening first aid. Should we talk about what to do when the thing has, when you have the like, the injury, the mental injury of the trauma? Smokey 46:42 Like with most injuries, it's rehab, right? Margaret 46:45 Yeah. No, no, you just keep doing the thing, and then hope it fixes itself. [laughs] Smokey 46:53 My approach to most medical oddities that happen as I get older, it's like, "It'll fix itself, this tooth will grow back, right? The pain will go away, right?" Yeah, just like physical rehab, it does require two important aspects for all physical, what we think of when someone says I have to go to rehab, physical rehab, not not alcohol rehab, or psych rehab, is that there's two things that are happening. One, is a understanding, a deep understanding of the injury, often not by the person, but by the physical therapist. Right? That if they know, okay, this is torn meniscus, or this is this and I, okay, so I understand the anatomy, I understand the surgery that happened. Okay. And then the second is, short term, not lifelong therapy, not lifelong this or that. Short term techniques to usually strengthen muscles and other joints and things around the injury. Okay. And that's what, what I would call good recovery after you already have the injury. It's not after you've had the traumatic experience, because traumatic experience doesn't necessarily cause a chronic injury, and we're trying to reduce the number of chronic injuries, but chronic injuries are going to happen. chronic injuries already exist today. A lot of the people we know are walking around with chronic injuries that are impacting their ability to do what they want to do and what in my opinion, we need them to do, because there's so much change that needs to happen. We need everybody as much as possible to be working at their ability. So wherever we can fix injury, we should. So so one is where do I get an understanding of how this injury impacts my life? And I think different cognitive psychology, I think CBT, DBT, these things are very, very good in general. Margaret 49:22 I know what those are, but can you explain. Smokey 49:22 Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Dialectical Behavioral Therapy. These all come out of cognitive psychology from the 50s. Our techniques, but most therapists use versions of this anyway. So just going to therapy, what it is doing initially, is trying to, like the physical therapist, tell you, "This is the injury you have. This is why it's causing you to limp, or why you have weakness in your arm and wrist. And what we're going to do is we're going to give you some techniques to build up, usually the muscles, or whatever else needs to be built up around it so that you will be able to get more use out of your hand." And that is what we need to do with people that have this chronic injury. So, one, is you need to find out how the injury is impacting. So, I'm drinking more, I'm getting angry more, or I'm having trouble making relationships, or I'm having, and there's a series of, you know, 50 year old techniques to really kind of get down and see, okay, this injury is causing these things, that's how it's impacting me, and I don't want to drink more, or I want to be able to sleep better, or I want to be able to focus, or I want to be able to have meaningful relationship with my partner or my children or whatever, whatever that is, right? And then there are techniques, and they're developing new techniques, all the time, there's like EMDR, which is an eye thing that I don't fully understand. There DBT, dialectical behavioral therapy, has a lot of techniques that you kind of practice in groups. As you know, we have mutual aid cell therapy, MAST, which is also a group where you're sharing techniques to build up these different things and resilience. So, community, and meaning, and all those...reframing all those kinds of things. So, but they shouldn't, despite the length of the injury, how long you've been injured, how long you've been limping, and how much it's affected other parts of your psychic body in a way. These are things that still should be able to be remediated relatively quickly. Smokey 49:31 That's exciting. Yeah. Smokey 50:10 But this is not a lifelong thing. Now, that doesn't mean, if you're traumatized as a child for example, it's sort of like if you've completely shattered your wrist bone, and they've put in pins and things like that, that wrist, may never have the flexibility, it did, the actual wrist bone, you know, the bones in the wrist. But by building muscles, and other things around it, you could then theoretically have full flexibility that you had before, right? But it's not the actual wrist bone, but that that injury is still there. You've built up...Sometimes it's called strength-based approach or model where you're building up other strengths, you have to relieve the impact that that injury, so like, a common thing with with trauma is trust. My trust is very damaged. My ability to trust others, or trust certain environments, or maybe trust myself, right, is completely damaged. So if, if my...and that may never fully heal, that's like my shattered wrist bone. So then, by building up, let's say, I don't trust myself, I did something, really fucked up myself, you know, psychologically, traumatically, but by building up trust in others, and then in the environment, or other things, that can mediate that damage or vice versa. Margaret 53:53 You mean vice versa, like if you? Smokey 53:59 Like, if my problem is a trust of others, or trust with strangers, or trust with friends, you know, I've been betrayed in a really traumatic way by my mother, or my father or uncle or something like that then, you know, building up my friendships to a really strong degree will reduce and eventually eliminate, hopefully erase the impact of that injury on the rest of my life. I'm not doomed to have dysfunctional relationships, lack of sleep, alcoholism or whatever are the symptoms of that traumatic event, that chronic traumatic event. Margaret 54:54 Okay, so my next question is, and it's sort of a leading question, you mentioned MAST earlier and I kind of want to ask, like, do we need specialists for all of this? Do we have people who both generalize and specialize in this kind of thing? Are there ways that, you know, we as a community can, like, get better at most of this stuff while then some of it like, you know, obviously people specialize in and this remains useful? Like... Smokey 55:22 You need. I wouldn't say...You need, you do need specialists, not for their knowledge, per se so much as they're there for people that the injury has gone on so long that the resiliency, all those other things, they don't have a social network, they haven't had time, because the damage happened so early to build up those reserves, that that person in the front row, the front row, the seats are empty. That is, it's really great we live...Now, in other cultures, the specialists were probably shamans, religious people, mentors, things like that, that said, "Okay, my role is to," all therapy is self therapy. That was Carl Rogers, he was quite correct about that. The specialist you're talking about are the kind of stand in for people who don't have people to do that. I would argue all real therapy is probably community therapy. It's relational. So if you have friends, if you have community, if you have a place, or places you find belonging, then theoretically, no, I don't think you need....I think those groups, and I think most specialists would agree to actually, those groups, if they're doing this can actually do a much better job for that individual. They know that individual and there's a natural affinity. And there there are other non specifically therapeutic benefits for engaging in re engaging in these things that have nothing to do with the injury that are just healthy, and good to you. So sort of like taking Ensure, Ensure will keep you alive when you're you've had some surgery, you've had some really bad injury, or if you need saline solution, right? But we're not suggesting people walk around with saline bags. There are better ways to get that, more natural ways to get that. I'm not talking alternative, psychiatric or, you know, take herbs instead of psychiatric medication. But there are better ways to do that. And I think, but I'm glad we have saline. Margaret 58:08 Yeah, Smokey 58:08 I think it saves a lot of people's lives. But, we would never give up the other ways to get nutrients because of other benefits to it. You know, sharing a meal with people is also a really good thing. Margaret 58:21 And then even like from a, you know, the advantages of community, etc. I'm guessing it's not something that's like magically imbued in community. It's like can be something that communities need to actually learn these skills and develop like, I mean, there's a reason that well, you know, I guess I'm reasonably open about this. I used to have like fairly paralyzing panic attacks, and then it started generalizing. And then, you know, a very good cognitive behavioral therapist gave me the tools with which to start addressing that. And that wasn't something I was getting from....I didn't get it from my community in the end, but I got it from a specific person in the community, rather than like, everyone already knows this or something. Smokey 59:03 Well, I think what we're doing right here is, is....I mean, people don't know. So they read....People were trying to help you from your community. Undoubtedly, with the right. intentions, and the right motives, but without the information on what actually works. Margaret 59:27 Yep. Smokey 59:28 And that's all that was happening there. Margaret 59:30 Yeah, totally. Smokey 59:31 So, it's really, you know, as cliche as it sound. It's really about just giving people some basic tools that we already had at one time. Margaret 59:44 Yeah. Smokey 59:45 Forgot, became specialized. So you know, I'm throwing around CBT, DBT, EMDR. None of that people can keep in their head. They will....The audience listening today are not going to remember all those things. And nor do they have to. But they have to know that, you know, reconnecting to the horse, but not telling people to get back on the horse, that kind of tough love kind of thing isn't going to work, but neither is the self care, take a bubble bath... Margaret 1:00:19 Never see a horse again, run from a horse. Smokey 1:00:21 Never see a horse, again, we're not even going to talk about horses, let's go do something else, isn't going to work either. And I think once we...you know, it's not brain science...Though it is. [laughs] It is pretty, you know, these are, and you look at how religions do this, you know, you look at how the military does this, you look at how like, fascists do this, you know, all sorts of groups, communities can do this fairly effectively. And it doesn't cost money. It's not expensive. You don't have to be highly educated or read all the science to be able to do that. And people naturally try, but I think a lot of the self help kind of gets in the way. And some people think they know. "Okay, well, this is what needs to happen, because I saw on Oprah." That kind of thing. " Margaret 1:01:26 Yeah, Well, I mean, actually, that's one of the main takeaways that's coming from me is I've been, I've been thinking a lot about my own mental health first aid on a fairly individual basis, right? You know, even though it was community, that helped me find the means by which to pull myself out of a very bad mental space in that I was in for a lot of years. But I still, in the end was kind of viewing it as, like, "Ah, someone else gave me the tools. And now it's on me." It's like this individual responsibility to take care of myself. And, and so that's like, one of the things that I'm taking as a takeaway from this is learning to be inter-reliant. Smokey 1:02:06 There isn't enough research on it, again, because of our individualistic nature, and probably because of variables. But there's certainly tons of anecdotal evidence, and having done this for a long time talking to people and how the place I work is particularly set up, helping others is a really great way to help yourself. Margaret 1:02:30 Yeah. Smokey 1:02:31 it really works. It's very, I mean, obviously, in the Greeks, you know, you have the 'wounded healer,' kind of concept. Many indigenous traditions have said this much better than the Western. And I believe they have...and they needed to, but they had a much better kind of understanding of these things that we're we're talking about. You know, it. So, where people can...and I've heard this podcast, your podcast too, talking about this ability to be, you know, have self efficacy. But it's more than self efficacy. It's really helping others. Margaret 1:03:22 Yeah. Smokey 1:03:23 And that, that is really powerful. And there's not enough research on that. And I think that's why support groups, I think that's why, you know, AA, despite all its problems, has spread all over the world and has been around for, you know, 75 years, and is not going to go away anytime soon. Despite some obvious problems, is there's that there's that... they hit upon that they they re discovered something that we always kind of knew. Margaret 1:03:59 Yeah. Okay, well, we're coming out of time. We're running out of time. Are there any last thoughts, things that I should have asked you? I mean, there's a ton we can talk about this, and I'll probably try and have you on to talk about more specifics in the near future. But, is there anything anything I'm missing? Smokey 1:04:15 No, I think I think just re emphasizing the end piece that you know, for people that have resources, communities, meaning, social network, you know, that is worth investing your time and your energy into because that's going to build your...if you want to get psychologically strong, that is the easiest and the best investment, Put down the self help book. Call your friend. You know, don't search Google for the symptoms of this, that, or the other thing. Connect to what's important to you. And then lastly, try to help others or help the world in some way. And those are going to be profound and effective ways to build long lasting resilience as an individual. As a community, we should design our communities around that. Margaret 1:05:35 Yeah. All right. Well, that seems like a good thing to end on. Do you have anything that you want to plug like, I don't know books about mutual aid self therapy or anything like that? Smokey 1:05:46 I want to plug community. That's all I want to plug. Margaret 1:05:50 Cool. All right. Well, it's nice talking to you, and I'll talk to you soon. Smokey 1:05:54 Yep. Margaret 1:06:00 Thank you so much for listening. If you enjoyed this podcast, please tell people about it. Actually, I mean, honestly, if you enjoyed this episode, in particular, like think about it, and think about reaching out to people, and who needs to be reached out to and who you need to reach out to, and how to build stronger communities. But if you want to support this podcast, you can tell people about it. And you can tell the internet about it. And you can tell the algorithms about it. But, you can also tell people about it in person. And you can also support it by supporting the, by supporting Strangers In A Tangled Wilderness, which is the people who produce this podcast. It's an anarchist publishing collective that I'm part of, and you can support it on Patreon at patreon.com/strangersinatangledwilderness. And if you support at pretty much any level, you get access to some stuff, and if you support a $10 you'll get a zine in the mail. And if you support at $20, you'll get your name read at the end of episodes. Like for example, Hoss the dog, and Micahiah, and Chris, and Sam, and Kirk, Eleanor, Jennifer, Staro, Cat J, Chelsea, Dana, David, Nicole, Mikki, Paige, SJ, Shawn, Hunter, Theo, Boise Mutual Aid, Milica, and paparouna. And that's all, and we will talk to you soon, and I don't know, I hope you all are doing as well as you can. This podcast is powered by Pinecast. Try Pinecast for free, forever, no credit card required. If you decide to upgrade, use coupon code r-69f62d for 40% off for 4 months, and support Live Like the World is Dying.

The Story of the Blob Tree - Ian Long Interview – Rethinking Transference in Person-Centred Therapy In Episode 360 of the Counselling Tutor Podcast, your hosts Rory Lees-Oakes and Ken Kelly take us through this week's three topics: Firstly, in ‘Ethical, Sustainable Practice', they explore rupture and repair in counselling, looking at the inevitable ruptures that can occur in the therapeutic relationship and how recognising and repairing these moments builds resilience and strengthens the therapeutic alliance. Then in ‘Practice Matters', Rory speaks with Ian Long, illustrator and co-creator of the iconic Blob Tree, about the origins, evolution, and global impact of these powerful visual tools in therapy and education. And finally in ‘Student Services', Rory and Ken rethink transference in person-centred therapy, offering insight into how these dynamics show up during training and why they matter - even outside of client work. Rupture and Repair in Counselling [starts at 03:30 mins] Rory and Ken explore rupture and repair in counselling, emphasising that relational ruptures in therapy are not failures but essential opportunities for growth, learning, and repair. Key points discussed include: Ruptures are normal in therapy and can result from misattunement, transference, or triggering of past trauma. Common signs include client withdrawal, silence, defensiveness, or abrupt subject changes. Effective repair relies on naming the shift gently and being curious about the client's inner experience. Understanding your own attachment and trauma patterns is crucial for managing ruptures. Repairing a rupture models emotional resilience and can deepen the therapeutic relationship. Supervision is essential for processing ruptures and supporting ethical, attuned practice. The Story of the Blob Tree – Ian Long Interview [starts at 23:20 mins] Rory speaks with Ian Long, the illustrator and co-creator of the Blob Tree, about how this simple yet profound tool has supported emotional expression worldwide for four decades. Key points from the interview include: The Blob Tree features a group of non-verbal, genderless characters that reflect different emotional states and interactions. Originally created for youth work, the tool has become widely used in counselling, education, and social work. It facilitates expression for those who struggle with words, including children, non-verbal individuals, and trauma survivors. The success of the tool lies not just in the illustrations but in the skill of the practitioner asking open-ended, exploratory questions. The Blob Tree and related tools are now used in over 150 countries and across various disciplines, including business and humanitarian work. Ian reflects on his creative partnership with the late Pip Wilson and the lasting legacy of their work in fostering emotional literacy. Rethinking Transference in Person-Centred Therapy [starts at 44:58 mins] Rory and Ken challenge the notion that transference has no place in person-centred practice, encouraging students to explore how it shows up in training and personal development. Key points include: Carl Rogers acknowledged transference, though he chose to respond to it rather than interpret it. Transference can occur even outside of client work - in group projects, PD groups, and skills practice. Feelings like the urge to rescue, impress, or withdraw may signal countertransference and warrant reflection. Journaling, peer reflection, and personal therapy can support deeper understanding of relational dynamics. Bringing transference into PD groups (not as blame, but as exploration) helps develop emotional awareness. Recognising these patterns early prepares students for ethical, attuned work with future clients. Links and Resources Counselling Skills Academy Advanced Certificate in Counselling Supervision Basic Counselling Skills: A Student Guide Counsellor CPD Counselling Study Resource Counselling Theory in Practice: A Student Guide Counselling Tutor Training and CPD Facebook group Website Online and Telephone Counselling: A Practitioner's Guide Online and Telephone Counselling Course

Dr Lou Cozolino - a clinical psychologist, author and professor based in Beverly Hills, California. He received his Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology from UCLA and an M.T.S. from Harvard University. He has been a Professor at Pepperdine since 1986 and lectures around the world on psychotherapy, neuroscience, trauma, and attachment. The work that I do for The Weekend University means I get to explore a wide range of topics, teachers, and practitioners who are at the forefront of the field of psychology. Every so often, I feel like I've “struck gold” after discovering someone and I would certainly put Dr Cozolino's work into this category. In this interview, you'll learn: — Lou's experience of being taught by Carl Rogers and what he learned from him — The 4 common factors that underlie all effective forms of psychotherapy — The importance of focusing on principles rather than techniques when educating yourself as a therapist — Why human beings need psychotherapy — The vital ‘half second' and how this impacts every aspect of our experience — The impact of early experiences on our development — Core shame and why we experience it — Neuroplasticity and why therapists should think of themselves as applied neuroscientists — 3 books that Lou recommends every therapist should read And more. You can learn more about Dr Cozolino's work at www.drloucozolino.com --- Dr. Lou Cozolino practices psychotherapy and consulting psychology in Beverly Hills, California. He received his Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology from UCLA and an M.T.S. from Harvard University. He has been a professor at Pepperdine since 1986 and lectures around the world on psychotherapy, neuroscience, trauma, and attachment. With more than 30 years of experience as a psychotherapist and coach, Lou works with adults, adolescents and families as they face a wide variety of life's challenges. Lou's primary method as a therapist is one of connection, attunement, and interaction. Working primarily from a psychodynamic model of treatment, he also employs strategies and techniques from the other forms of therapy he has studied including CBT, family systems, and humanistic/existential. --- Interview Links: — Why Therapy Works: https://amzn.to/3wt90El — The Neuroscience of Psychotherapy: https://amzn.to/3MBxcKw — The Making of a Therapist: https://amzn.to/3lnbuha — The Development of a Therapist: https://amzn.to/3wtNOhF — Dr Cozolino's website: www.drloucozolino.com --- 3 Books Lou Recommends Every Therapist Should Read: — Character Analysis - Wilhelm Reich (1st 120 pages): https://amzn.to/3wDWjoV — Becoming a Person - Carl Rogers: https://amzn.to/3wzrxOg — Thou Shalt Not Be Aware - Alice Miller: https://amzn.to/3sJVUQC --- — Get our latest psychology lectures emailed to your inbox: http://bit.ly/new-talks5 — Check out our next event: http://theweekenduniversity.com/events/

As the year comes to a close, many couples find themselves reflecting on the highs and lows of their relationship. In this episode of the Music and Therapy Podcast, host Keana W. Mitchell, trauma‑informed relationship coach, explores how to move beyond reflection into intentional action. You'll learn practical tools to stop cycles of conflict and start building deeper connection, so you can finish the year with love, grace, and strength.

Sales Basics: Aktiv zuhören. Echt verstehen. Besser verkaufen. Warum Zuhören deine Vertriebs-Superpower ist Mal ehrlich: Viele Verkäufer gelten als „Labertaschen". Sie reden, reden, reden – und wundern sich, warum der Kunde innerlich abschaltet. Wenn du besser verkaufen willst, brauchst du genau das Gegenteil: echtes Interesse und aktives Zuhören. In dieser Sales-Basics-Folge zeige ich dir, wie du mit ein paar simplen Techniken sofort spürbar bessere Gespräche führst – privat und im B2B-Vertrieb. Studien zeigen: Kunden kaufen lieber von Menschen, die ihnen aufmerksam zuhören und ihre Situation wirklich verstehen, statt nur Produkte zu pitchen. Aktives Zuhören ist damit eine der wichtigsten Fähigkeiten, wenn du heute besser verkaufen und stabile Kundenbeziehungen aufbauen willst. Die 4 Ebenen der Kommunikation – und was Verkäufer fast immer übersehen Die meisten glauben, ein Gespräch sei vor allem Sachebene: Fakten, Daten, Features. In Wahrheit laufen immer vier Ebenen gleichzeitig: Sachebene: Was wird inhaltlich gesagt? Beziehungsebene: Wie stehen wir zueinander? Selbstoffenbarung: Was verrät der andere über sich selbst? Appell: Was will er eigentlich von mir? Beispiel: Du kommst zu spät und der Kunde sagt: „Haben Sie keine Uhr?" Auf der Sachebene geht's nicht um die Uhr. Auf der Beziehungsebene sagt er: „Ich fühle mich nicht ernst genommen." Auf der Appellebene: „Sei beim nächsten Mal pünktlich." Wenn du hier nur auf die Worte hörst, wirst du nie besser verkaufen, weil du die eigentliche Botschaft verpasst. 7 Gesprächskiller, die dich am besseren Verkaufen hindern In Coachings sehe ich immer wieder dieselben Muster, die gute Gespräche zerstören – im Vertrieb, aber auch zu Hause: Über sich selbst reden: Kunde erzählt – du konterst sofort mit deiner eigenen Story. Sofort Lösungen liefern: „Mach Sport, dann geht's dir besser." Problem geklaut, Beziehung verloren. Runterspielen: „Ach, das wird schon wieder." – der andere fühlt sich nicht ernst genommen. Ausfragen & dirigieren: Viele Detailfragen, aber nie zum Kern. Schnelle Diagnosen: „Klar, das sind erste Burnout-Anzeichen." – selten hilfreich. Vorwürfe & Belehrungen: „Streng dich halt an." – Gespräch sofort tot. Befehlen & Drohen: „Ich erwarte, dass du das löst." – null Vertrauen, null Tiefe. Wenn du diese Muster reduzierst, bist du schon auf dem Weg, deutlich besser zu verkaufen, weil dein Gegenüber sich endlich gesehen und verstanden fühlt. Aktives Zuhören im Vertrieb: 3 Techniken, die du sofort nutzen kannst Aktives Zuhören kommt aus der Gesprächspsychologie (u.a. nach Carl Rogers) und ist im Coaching Standard – im Vertrieb aber noch viel zu selten. Hier sind drei Techniken, mit denen du im nächsten Gespräch direkt besser verkaufen kannst: Paraphrasieren Du fasst das Gesagte mit eigenen Worten zusammen: Kunde: „Mit meinem aktuellen Anbieter komme ich einfach nicht weiter." Du: „Sie haben das Gefühl, auf der Stelle zu treten und wünschen sich echten Fortschritt." So signalisierst du: „Ich habe dich verstanden." Gleichzeitig sortiert der Kunde seine Gedanken – oft kommt dabei das eigentliche Kaufmotiv auf den Tisch. Gefühle verbalisieren Du sprichst das Gefühl hinter den Worten aus: „Sie sind genervt.", „Das klingt nach Enttäuschung." Selbst wenn du leicht daneben liegst, korrigiert dich der Kunde – und geht damit noch tiefer. Genau dort entstehen Vertrauen und die Grundlage, um später souverän zu besser verkaufen. Weiterführende Fragen & Pausen Statt „Warum?" nutzt du Wie- und Was-Fragen: „Wie hat sich das entwickelt?", „Was ist für Sie im Moment am wichtigsten?". Kombiniert mit kurzen Pausen holst du bis zu 30 % mehr Informationen aus dem Gespräch heraus – Gold wert für jeden, der im B2B besser verkaufen möchte. Sales Basics im Alltag: So machst du Zuhören zur Gewohnheit Aktives Zuhören ist wie ein Muskel: Du baust ihn nur auf, wenn du ihn benutzt. Nimm dir vor, in deinem nächsten Kundentermin bewusst mehr auf Empfang zu gehen als auf Sendung. Streiche mindestens einen Gesprächskiller und setze stattdessen eine der drei Techniken ein. Du wirst merken: Die Gespräche werden ruhiger, ehrlicher und deutlich produktiver. Kunden öffnen sich, teilen echte Probleme – und genau deshalb kannst du am Ende besser verkaufen, weil du nicht mehr an Symptomen herumdokterst, sondern das Problem hinter dem Problem löst. Wenn du diese Sales Basics mit deinem Team verankern willst, arbeite regelmäßig mit Mitschriften, Rollenspielen und Feedback. So wird aktives Zuhören vom „nice to have" zum Standard – und dein Vertrieb verkauft messbar besser. Quick Takeaways: So verkaufst du mit Zuhören besser Besser verkaufen heißt zuerst: besser verstehen – nicht besser reden. Jede Aussage hat vier Ebenen – vor allem die emotionale entscheidet über den Abschluss. Gesprächskiller wie Belehrungen, Schnelllösungen und „Ich-Stories" konsequent reduzieren. Mit Paraphrasieren, Gefühls-Labels und offenen Fragen kommst du schnell auf den Kern. Aktives Zuhören schafft Vertrauen – die wichtigste Währung im komplexen B2B-Vertrieb. Dein Call-to-Action Probier aktives Zuhören in deinem nächsten Gespräch ganz bewusst aus – im Kundentermin oder beim Abendessen mit der Familie. Schreib mir, welche Effekte du bemerkt hast, und teil diese Episode mit Kolleg:innen, die besser verkaufen wollen. Wie erlebst du aktives Zuhören im Vertriebsalltag – und wo fällt es dir am schwersten?  

Katie Fosselius, a licensed therapist at LifeStance Health joins us on this episode to explore one of the most essential elements of effective therapy — the therapeutic relationship. Katie shares her personal path to becoming a therapist and reflects on how empathy, authenticity, and trust form the foundation for healing and growth. Drawing inspiration from pioneers like Carl Rogers and Irvin Yalom, they discuss the power of unconditional positive regard, thoughtful self-disclosure, and genuine connection. Listeners will gain practical insights into how strong client-therapist relationships can shape meaningful therapeutic outcomes.

Dr. Sharon Livingston is a bestselling author, coach, and Thought Leader in Professional Coaching and Market Research. She has worked with numerous Fortune 100 Companies while interviewing over 64,000 people during the past 30 years. Free Stuff: Free Courses: https://www.danielkarim.com/freestuff Books Tips: https://www.danielkarim.com/great-books Podcast: https://www.danielkarim.com/podcast Deal Diary for CEO´s: https://www.danielkarim.com/deal-diary Future Blueprint Template: https://www.danielkarim.com/authoring/the-future-blueprint Stoic Leadership Secrets: www.danielkarim.com/authoring/home-therapist-the-anti-anxiety-program. SPONSORS: To support this podcast, check out our sponsors & get discounts: (Looking for new mission aligned sponsor) Contact Daniel Email: comms@alexandrian.ai

Aujourd'hui, je t'invite à célébrer la Journée internationale de la gentillesse en partageant une réflexion aussi poignante qu'intime sur la véritable force de la gentillesse, surtout dans l'accompagnement de fin de vie. À vingt-cinq jours de ses 60 ans, je propose de laisser tomber les clichés qui réduisent la gentillesse à de la faiblesse, pour découvrir comment elle devient une présence authentique et puissante auprès de ceux qu'on accompagne, qu'on aime ou qu'on soigne. Au fil de mon témoignage et de mes rencontres, j'explore comment mon parcours d'aidante m'a transformée, en m'inspirant notamment de l'approche humaniste de Carl Rogers et d'autres personnalités bienveillantes. Prépares toi à un épisode plein d'humilité, de vérités, et de douceur, qui fait de la gentillesse un véritable super pouvoir et une boussole pour traverser les passages difficiles de la vie. Bonne écoute ! Bienvenue dans la saison 5 "La voix en héritage"! Rejoins moi sur Sweet Elles : https://go.sweetpapipodcast.com/sweetelles Voici 3 enseignements clés à retenir de cet épisode inspirant : La gentillesse n'est pas synonyme de faiblesse  L'importance de l'écoute active  Être bienveillant envers soi-même pour mieux accompagner les autres  Timeline de l'épisode 00:00:3200:00:39 La vraie gentillesse : "Mais au contraire, la gentillesse vraie, ce n'est pas un comportement, c'est une présence et on en parle tout de suite après mon sweat jingle." 00:02:0700:02:14 Le pouvoir de la gentillesse : "D'ailleurs je me demande si la gentillesse a changé ma vie d'aidante ou si c'est ma vie d'aidante qui a changé ma gentillesse." 00:03:4400:03:55 Philosophie de l'écoute active : « chaque individu détient au plus profond de lui sa propre vérité, il peut accéder à ses ressources s'il se sent compris, accepté et non jugé. » 00:06:4300:06:54 Le pouvoir de la gentillesse : "j'aimerais tant que la gentillesse devienne notre super pouvoir. Et enfin que tu réalises pleinement après l'écoute de cet épisode que la gentillesse est une force de transformation incomparable."

What if everything you believe about workplace wellness is only part of the story? In this episode, Kevin welcomes Dr. Katina Sawyer and Dr. Patricia Grabarek to discuss the real drivers of well-being at work and the critical role leaders play in shaping thriving environments. Drawing on their research, Katina and Patricia challenge the overreliance on surface-level wellness programs and demonstrate how authentic leadership, trust, and team connection have far greater impact. They introduce the concept of "generators", leaders who energize and empower their teams and contrast them with "extinguishers," who unintentionally drain motivation and wellness. Patricia and Katina also explore ideas like authenticity within professional boundaries, person-centered leadership, and the practical importance of being a "boundary bouncer." Listen For 0:00 The importance of wellness at work 0:33 Welcome and introduction by Kevin Eikenberry 1:29 About Kevin's book Flexible Leadership 2:18 Introducing guests Dr. Patricia Grabarek and Dr. Katina Sawyer 4:19 How their friendship led to writing Leading for Wellness 6:01 The research behind workplace wellness 7:05 The big idea Why leaders drive wellness 8:10 Defining workplace wellness 9:26 Work life balance myths and realities 10:18 Common misconceptions about wellness at work 11:37 Why wellness and productivity go hand in hand 13:30 The bolt on problem with wellness programs 14:01 What is a Generator leader 15:19 Authenticity and trust in leadership 17:14 What authenticity really means at work 18:40 Avoiding the stoic leader trap 20:26 Sharing your human side builds trust 21:01 Leaders as Boundary Bouncers 22:26 Protecting boundaries and modeling balance 24:15 Real life examples of healthy boundaries 25:01 Person centered leadership and Carl Rogers' influence 26:36 Knowing your people as individuals 28:17 Why understanding your team makes leadership easier 29:28 Building team culture where everyone thrives 30:23 What Katina and Patricia do for fun 32:37 What they're reading 34:04 Learn more about Worker Being and Leading for Wellness 35:19 Kevin's closing challenge Now what 35:54 Farewell and next episode reminder Their Story: Dr. Patricia Grabarek, PhD and Dr.Katina Sawyer, PhD, are the authors of Leading for Wellness: How to Create a Team Culture Where Everyone Thrives. They are the co-founders of Workr Beeing. Patricia is a seasoned Industrial/Organizational Psychologist specializing in workplace wellness, organizational culture, employee engagement, diversity and inclusion, and leadership development. With a background in both consulting and internal roles, Dr. Grabarek has led people analytics and talent management initiatives for more than 60 organizations across various industries. Her work focuses on research-based strategies to improve well-being, retention, performance, and diversity efforts. Named one of Culture Amp's Top 25 Emerging Culture Creators for 2024, Dr. Grabarek's insights have appeared in The Los Angeles Times, CBS News, and CBC Radio. She holds a PhD and MS in Industrial/Organizational Psychology from Penn State and a BA in Psychology from UCLA. Katina is an Industrial/Organizational psychologist and an Associate Professor of Management and Organizations at the University of Arizona's Eller College of Management. A leading expert in work-life balance, leadership, positive workplace behaviors, and diversity, she has published more than 50 peer-reviewed studies, book chapters, and articles in outlets like Harvard Business Review. Dr. Sawyer's work has been featured in major media such as The Washington Post, Bloomberg Businessweek, The Atlantic, and Forbes. Receiving grants from the National Science Foundation and the Society for Human Resource Management, her groundbreaking research has established her as a thought leader in positive workplace behaviors. Among Philadelphia Business Journal's "Top 40 Under 40" in 2017, Dr. Sawyer also consults with organizations, offering data-driven solutions to create healthier, more productive workplaces. She holds a BA in Psychology from Villanova University and a dual PhD and MS in Industrial/Organizational Psychology and Women's Studies from Penn State. https://workrbeeing.com/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/katina-sawyer-ph-d/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/patriciagrabarek/ https://www.instagram.com/workrbeeing/ https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCQGtAaCiNV2qR4HxgBvAkrg This Episode is brought to you by... Flexible Leadership is every leader's guide to greater success in a world of increasing complexity and chaos. Book Recommendations Leading for Wellness: How to Create a Team Culture Where Everyone Thrives by Patricia Grabarek and Katina Sawyer Outraged: Why We Fight About Morality and Politics and How to Find Common Ground by Kurt Gray Like a Wave We Break: A Memoir of Falling Apart and Finding Myself by Jane Marie Chen Like this? Solving the Culture Puzzle with Mario Moussa and Derek Newberry How Leaders Can Create a Company Culture That Doesn't Suck with S. Chris Edmonds and Mark Babbitt Creating a Work Culture Everyone Wants with Jennifer Moss Podcast Better! Sign up with Libsyn and get up to 2 months free! Use promo code: RLP Leave a Review If you liked this conversation, we'd be thrilled if you'd let others know by leaving a review on Apple Podcasts. Here's a quick guide for posting a review. Review on Apple: https://remarkablepodcast.com/itunes Join Our Community If you want to view our live podcast episodes, hear about new releases, or chat with others who enjoy this podcast join one of our communities below. Join the Facebook Group Join the LinkedIn Group

Lange Nächte, Winterzeit, Zeit zum Durchatmen – und vielleicht auch zum Nachdenken über das, was zwischen uns Menschen wirklich passiert. Warum wir so oft glauben, andere zu verstehen, und dabei doch an unseren eigenen Deutungen hängen. Es geht um das große Kommunikationsdilemma: „Ich denke, dass Du denkst, dass ich denke…“ – und wie viel Missverständnis in diesem kleinen Satz steckt.Ich teile mit Dir, warum unser Gehirn dafür gebaut ist, andere zu „lesen“ – und weshalb uns unsere Spiegelneuronen dabei manchmal in die Irre führen. Wie leicht wir aus Resonanz Projektion machen, aus Einfühlung Interpretation. Und was echte Empathie im Sinne von Carl Rogers wirklich bedeutet: sich selbst zu spüren, bevor man glaubt, den anderen zu verstehen. Außerdem verrate ich Dir meinen persönlichen Geheimtipp für schwierige Gespräche und Konfliktsituationen – eine kleine, aber wirkungsvolle Haltung, die jede Begegnung verändern kann. Und ich spreche über das Buch Brain Talk von Dr. David Schnarch, der erklärt, warum wir einander gar nicht so gut lesen können, wie wir glauben – und wie Nähe wirklich entsteht, wenn wir bereit sind, unsere inneren Landkarten immer wieder zu überprüfen.Dazu gibt's meinen aktuellen Film- und Buchtipp für lange Herbstabende: „Die Verteidigerin“ in der ARD-Mediathek – ein fesselndes Psychospiel über Manipulation und Macht – und „Deliver Me From Nowhere“, den Bruce-Springsteen-Film für alle, die sich in Dunkelheit und Musik zuhause fühlen. Mehr dazu findest Du auch im Leben Lieben Lassen-WhatsApp Kanal WERBUNGAlle Infos, Partner und Rabatte findest Du hier: https://linktr.ee/leben.lieben.lassen.podcastLINKS AUS DIESER FOLGE:Buchtipp: „Braintalk“, Dr. David Snarch „Die Verteidigerin – der Fall Belling“ . ARD Mediathek Kino: „Deliver me from nowhere“ geführte Meditationen von Leben-Lieben-Lassen Playlist (Spotify)CLAUDIA, LINKS UND RESSOURCENLeben Lieben Lassen WhatsApp-Kanal https://whatsapp.com/channel/0029Vb4cgUvLNSa297ConI3iWeitere Inspiration auf Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/leben_lieben_lassen_podcast/Webseite & Beratung: https://leben-lieben-lassen.de/Alle Infos zu mir und meinen Angeboten: https://linktr.ee/Leben_Lieben_Lassen Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Can small, meaningful interactions transform leadership and organizational success? Join us as we explore this fascinating question with Zach Mercurio, an authority in purposeful leadership and positive organizational psychology. Through Zach's compelling research, we uncover the concept of "mattering" in the workplace, a crucial element often overlooked amidst traditional rewards like pay raises and promotions. As employees grapple with feelings of invisibility, Zach introduces the idea of a "mattering deficit" and shares his insights on how leaders can create cultures where every team member feels valued and significant, elevating both well-being and performance.Our conversation with Zach also explores the profound impact of genuine care and connection in leadership. We address the distinction between caring about and caring for team members, emphasizing the importance of intentionality in leaders' actions. Unconscious signals can undermine employees' sense of mattering, and Zach provides practical strategies to ensure leaders' good intentions translate into meaningful daily practices. From understanding the role of "soft skills" to recognizing the subtle biases that can lead to complacency, we explore ways to build a supportive environment that fosters true belonging.Finally, we touch upon the critical role of noticing and affirming those we rely on at work. By moving beyond transactional interactions to transformational ones, leaders can create a more inclusive atmosphere. We share techniques like the green, yellow, red check-in to gauge emotional states and Carl Rogers' active listening principles, vital for building meaningful relationships. As we consider the intersection of AI and human connection, this episode promises a thought-provoking discussion on how recognizing and valuing each other can empower teams and, ultimately, transform organizations.What You'll Learn- The critical nuances between caring about and caring for your team- Shifting from transactional to transformational interactions- The significance of emotional connections in communication and decision-making- The paradox of leadership: empowering teams by letting go- The vital role of soft skills and the intersection of AI and human connectionPodcast Timestamps(00:03) – The Power of Mattering (in Leadership)(12:14) - The Importance of Caring for Others(18:36) – What It Truly Means to Notice Someone(27:03) –Small Gestures Can Build Deep Emotional Connections(38:03) – How to Create Psychological Safety(48:02) - Empowering Leadership Through Relinquishing Control(54:29) - Mattering in an AI WorldKEYWORDSPositive Leadership, The Power of Mattering, Maximizing Engagement, Enhancing Well-being, A Culture of Caring, Practicing Empathy, Soft Skills Drive Hard Results, Deep Emotional Connections, Effective Communication, Building Trust, The Perils of Command and Control, Increasing Human Connection, Relational Economy, Creativity, CEO Success

Send us a textYou don't have to agree to understand—and in coaching, confusing the two can shut down growth before it starts.I break down the critical difference between understanding and agreement in coaching and leadership. Pulling from Carl Rogers' research and real-life coaching moments, we show how validating concerns—without co-signing them—creates space for trust, reflection, and real change.Because when people feel heard, they stop defending and start growing.Tune in to learn how to listen with curiosity, not control. Want to be a better listener? Start with what you're listening for. Take the Catalyst Mindsets™ Quiz to uncover the mindset gaps that might be blocking progress in your coaching conversations.

Supporting Male Survivors of Sexual Abuse - Carl Rogers'Seven Stages of Process In Episode 340 of the Counselling Tutor Podcast, your hosts Rory Lees-Oakes and Ken Kelly take us through this week's three topics: Firstly, in ‘Ethical, Sustainable Practice', we look at the question: Can clients ask you to delete their data? - covering legal, ethical, and practical considerations. Then in ‘Practice Matters', Rory speaks with Jeremy Sachs about supporting male survivors of sexual abuse, with a focus on the intersectional challenges they face and practical considerations for therapists. And finally, in ‘Student Services', Rory and Ken explain and simplify Carl Rogers' Seven Stages of Process, highlighting how this core theory maps client growth in therapy. Can Clients Ask You to Delete Their Data?  [starts at 03:26 mins] In this section, Rory and Ken address a challenging but important question: Can clients ask you to delete their data? Key points discussed include: Under UK GDPR (Article 17), clients have the "right to erasure" (right to be forgotten), but it's not absolute. You may decline deletion if: The data is required for legal obligations, such as tax or insurance records. You need the data to defend against complaints or for safeguarding purposes. Deleting data prematurely could leave you without a defence if a client complains later or if you are required to provide records to legal authorities or coroners. Good practice includes: Explaining data retention policies in your contract. Consulting the ICO (Information Commissioner's Office) for UK-based practitioners. Documenting decisions with written evidence from insurers or data protection authorities. Consider using a split-note system to separate identifying details from case notes. How long should client data be kept after therapy ends? (Commonly six years for adults, up to age 25 for children). Supporting Male Survivors of Sexual Abuse [starts at 23:53 mins] In ‘Practice Matters', Rory speaks with Jeremy Sachs, therapist and author of the upcoming book Masculinity Reconnected, about male sexual abuse and its often-overlooked challenges. Key points discussed include: Societal silence: Male survivors often go unheard due to cultural narratives about masculinity, strength, and emotional repression. The role of masculinity: Traditional masculinity can prevent men from seeking help. Men may internalise shame and avoid vulnerability. "Toxic masculinity" can further oppress male survivors. Intersectionality: Men experience sexual abuse differently based on race, gender identity, class, or sexuality. Therapists must recognise these layers when supporting clients. Supporting survivors: Create safe, validating spaces for male clients to share their stories. Explore how societal expectations and cultural messaging impact their healing. Encourage community and connection to reduce isolation. Carl Rogers' Seven Stages of Process [starts at 45:40 mins] In ‘Student Services', Rory and Ken simplify Carl Rogers' Seven Stages of Process, a key person-centred theory describing how clients grow through therapy. Key points include: The seven stages map a client's journey from rigidity to fluidity - from defensiveness to openness and self-trust. Stages explained: Rigidity & Defensiveness – Blaming others, avoiding self-awareness. External Recognition – Acknowledging problems exist but externalising them. Tentative Self-Exploration – Starting to discuss personal feelings. Here-and-Now Feelings – Becoming present-focused, seeking involvement in therapy. Ownership & Change – Taking control and committing to change. Experiencing Fully – Accepting emotions in real-time and trusting the inner self. Self-Actualisation – Living authentically and growing beyond therapy. Most therapy takes place between stages 3–5,

At work, we often operate in transactional mode, almost always skipping the human side of communication. But if you want to build trust, boost performance, and create a culture of belonging for your teams, you need to let go of silence, stress, and surface-level interactions. The only way to make meaningful connections is intentionally embracing positive communication. However, it's easier said than done. That's why we partnered up with Dr. Julien Mirivel for the second time in this episode to explore the elements of positive communication so that you can lead and connect with your people more meaningfully.In Part 2 of this powerful episode of the Happiness Squad Podcast, Julien Mirivel returns to unpack the final three behaviors from his model of Positive Communication: Disclosing, Encouraging, and Listening. He explores how small acts, like sharing your own story, offering meaningful praise, or even opening your hand, can create deeper trust and connection at work.Things you will learn in this episode:• “Disclosing” as a reciprocal and deeply humanizing act• How “Encouraging” moves people from who they are to who they can become• How “Listening” helps transcend perceived differences especially for leaders• The three forms of support• Making Positive Communication a HabitThis is your playbook for building lasting connections. Don't miss it!If you've missed part 1 of our conversation, check it out here: https://podcast.happinesssquad.com/episode/how-to-lead-better-through-positive-communication-with-julien-mirivel-part-1Resources:✅• The Art of Positive Communication: https://positiveorgs.bus.umich.edu/wp-content/uploads/Model-of-Positive-Communication-Copyright-Julien-C-Mirivel.pdf • The Six Keys to Positive Communication (article by Dr. Julien Mirivel): https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/the_six_keys_to_positive_communication • Dr. Julien Mirivel's website: https://www.julienmirivel.com/ • TEDx with Dr. Julien Mirivel: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KmmlA19WLgs • Unconditional Positive Regard by Carl Rogers: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK589708/ • The Electric Connection: Martin Buber's View on Authentic Human Relationships and the Divine: https://worldmindhub.tistory.com/1717 Books:✅• Positive Communication for Leaders by Alexander Lyon and Julien Mirivel: https://a.co/d/ahFgouG • The Art of Positive Communication by Julien Mirivel: https://a.co/d/24bwU1k• How to Smile by Thich Nhat Hanh: https://a.co/d/9AEZ2hJ • A Complaint Free World by Will Bowen: https://a.co/d/iMksSlT • Hardwired for Happiness by Ashish Kothari:

When you want to get to know someone better, you ask them a lot of questions, right?Maybe not . . .This week, we pick up on an important point Elliott made last episode about avoiding questions to facilitate effective, authentic communication. It seems counterintuitive, but we can actually gather MORE information and cultivate DEEPER intimacy by communicating with statements.So, how exactly do we do this?Elliott and I share a foundational technique from Carl Rogers' Client Centered Therapy—reflective listening.It's a simple adjustment that dramatically alters communication. You can try it today and immediately experience the difference!Your friends, family, and romantic partners will feel seen, heard, and validated. They'll know how much you care about them through your reflections of what they're expressing.The best part? You don't have to try to figure out the right words to say or the right questions to ask.Because, as we noted above, it's NOT about questions at all!If you're ready to level up your communication skills to deepen understanding and intimacy, join us for some Counseling 101!Citation: Behavior Expert, Chase Hughes, from Steve Bartlett's Facebook page.Sponsor:The Wellness CompanyWebsite: ⁠https://www.twc.health/lovelife⁠Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order!Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott AndersonWebsite: http://loveandlifemedia.com/Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBookInstagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson

For over a decade, Edwin Rutsch has hitchhiked, bicycled, traveled and worked his way around our precious planet. He interacted with a wide variety of cultures and peoples from all walks of life and learned to see and feel a common humanity shared by people around the world. During his explorations he came to see the importance of empathy in human connections.He is a computer expert, a filmmaker, and the founding director of The Center for Building a Culture of Empathy. This center serves as one of the leading organizations of the global empathy movement and focuses on bridging social and political divides by designing a free online empathy training course and holding face to face and virtual empathy cafés.Tags: Edwin Rutsch, Helen Riess, empathy, Carl Rogers, eye contact, active listening, empathic listening, curiosity, Empathy Cafes, Empathy Tent, Empathy Circles, empathy boot camp, peace, nonviolence, conflict, collaboration, Barbara Fredrickson, positive emotions, Social Change/Politics, Personal Transformation, Relationship/Partnership/Sexuality, Self Help

Forrest and Dr. Rick explore how self-concept, the invisible architecture of who we are, shapes our lives. They discuss how identity can become a cage, the unconscious beliefs we have about who we are, and how loosening those beliefs might be the key to lasting change. Forrest and Rick talk about the science of psychological flexibility, how to challenge limiting self-beliefs, and why a little more “don't-know mind” can go a long way. They share insights from Carl Rogers, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), and Buddhist philosophy, and focus on practical ways to update your self-concept without losing who you are. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:40: What is self-concept? 8:25: Stories, frameworks, and expectations 13:30: ‘I' vs. ‘me', and feeling misunderstood 16:55: Carl Rogers' framework of self-concept and congruence 24:20: Common tropes for defending identity 30:45: Applying principles of biological evolution to your sense of self 34:50: Resistance to change, and misguided beliefs 40:35: Don't-know mind, affirmation, and taking in the good 47:30: The Buddhist conception of the self 53:40: Living in direct experience, and basic trust 56:50: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Get Headspace FREE for 60 days. Go to Headspace.com/BEINGWELL60 to unlock all of Headspace FREE for 60 days. Head to fastgrowingtrees.com/BEINGWELL to get 15% off the best deals for your yard. Use BEINGWELL at checkout, and take advantage of their Alive and Thrive Guarantee! Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.  Get 15% off OneSkin with the code BEINGWELL at https://www.oneskin.co/  Go to ZOE.com and find out what ZOE Membership could do for you. Use code WELL10 to get 10% off membership. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

BONUS: NVC, Walking Towards Conflict with Love With Maria Arpa and Bob Marshall In this BONUS episode, we explore Nonviolent Communication (NVC), a powerful tool that has changed how many people work and relate to family, friends, and colleagues. Maria Arpa, a previous guest on the podcast, and who studied directly under Marshall Rosenberg, the creator of NVC, shares her insights on this transformative practice. Joining us is Bob Marshall, an NVC advocate and practitioner who applies these principles in organizational settings. Understanding the Foundation of Nonviolent Communication "We have universal needs... what we try to distinguish is the need and the strategy I'm using to meet the need." Nonviolent Communication is both a practical communication tool and a spiritual practice designed to help us connect more authentically with ourselves and others. Maria explains how NVC emerged from the work of Dr. Marshall Rosenberg, who studied under Carl Rogers, the developer of person-centered therapy. At its core, NVC represents a paradigm shift away from what Maria calls "domination culture" – a system built on hierarchy, punishment, and obedience to rules. The dominant culture in which we live often relies on fear, guilt, and shame to motivate behavior. In contrast, NVC comes from the philosophy of nonviolence, encouraging people to be independent thinkers who make choices from their own internal compass. This approach recognizes that all people have the potential to manifest love, even in challenging situations. The Power of Needs-Based Theory "If I take a need for fairness or respect... how many ways are there to meet that need? And what if you believe you're meeting your need for fairness using whatever strategy you're using, and I believe that is impacting on my need for respect? We have a collision in strategies." A fundamental aspect of NVC is needs-based theory. Maria explains that while we all share universal needs – from basic physical requirements like air and food to psychological needs like creativity, recognition, and fairness – conflicts arise not from the needs themselves but from the strategies we use to meet those needs. This distinction between needs and strategies offers a powerful framework for resolving conflicts. When we understand that we're arguing over strategies, not the underlying needs, we can empathize with each other and explore different approaches that honor everyone's needs. As Maria advises, "Don't try to strategize until you understand all the needs on the table." Breaking Free from the Debate Model "The debate model of conversation is about one argument prevailing over all others... it's a terrible idea for when we want to meet as humans and have a conversation." Maria highlights how our society has embraced the debate model of conversation, where one perspective must win over others. This approach, while potentially useful in controlled settings like scientific research, creates significant problems in human interactions. When operating in debate mode, we're focused on overpowering others or protecting ourselves from humiliation rather than genuinely connecting. The dialogue roadmap that Maria developed offers an alternative to this debate model. It allows people to express themselves fully – to "empty out" everything they're carrying, even if it doesn't initially make coherent sense. This process helps people make sense of their experiences and move toward authentic dialogue rather than competitive debate. NVC in Organizations: Addressing Collective Needs "Needs are getting ignored in most organizations... it's not that we have shared needs and we debate about the strategies for getting those needs met." Bob Marshall, an organizational psychotherapist, explains how NVC principles can transform workplace dynamics. He observes that many organizations operate through "fear, obligation, guilt, and shame" – what he calls "the four horsemen of the work apocalypse." These mechanisms are used to control behavior but create toxic environments that diminish both productivity and well-being. By applying NVC in organizational settings, Bob helps collective entities recognize and address their needs. Many companies are unaware of their collective needs, and some cultures even shame people for acknowledging needs exist. Helping organizations understand their shared needs creates a foundation for healthier, more productive workplaces where people can thrive rather than merely survive. In this segment, we refer to an episode with Michelle Pauk, where we explore the lessons from Foucault's Book Discipline and Punish, and to Manfred Max-Neef, a Chilean economist. The Connection Before Correction Principle "One of the most wonderful things is connection before correction." Maria emphasizes the importance of building relationships before attempting to change behaviors or address problems. She suggests that our fast-paced world has created a situation where our emotional processing cannot keep up with the speed of our actions and decisions. We've become skilled at multitasking and meeting deadlines but haven't paid adequate attention to our emotional needs. The result is that many people are emotionally "backed up" or "constipated" – unable to process their feelings in healthy ways. Maria's work involves slowing things down to create space for authentic connection and emotional integration. This approach doesn't sacrifice efficiency – as she notes, "We get more done with less resource once we've been through the tunnel." Learning Directly from Marshall Rosenberg "Marshall Rosenberg said, 'The people that are going to take this forward will have the right balance of compassionate understanding and political savvy.' And I just went, 'That's me.'" Maria shares her personal journey with NVC, beginning with a chance encounter at her son's school that led her to attend a presentation by Marshall Rosenberg. She was immediately captivated by his approach, which answered questions she had been unable to resolve through other therapies and educational frameworks. Her pivotal experience came in 2005 when she joined Rosenberg and others for a 15-day intensive in Switzerland focused on social change. This immersive experience transformed her understanding of communication and human connection. When she asked Rosenberg who would carry his work forward, his answer about needing both "compassionate understanding and political savvy" resonated deeply with her, setting her on a path to develop her own applications of NVC principles. In this segment, we refer to the book The Surprising Purpose of Anger by Marshall Rosenberg. About Maria Arpa and Bob Marshall Maria Arpa is a facilitator, mediator, and trainer who describes her work as "walking towards conflict with love." She developed the Dialogue Road Map, a framework that builds on NVC principles to guide people out of debate-style conversations into authentic dialogue. Maria studied directly under Dr. Marshall Rosenberg and has applied NVC in various challenging contexts, including working with gang violence and facilitating dialogue between concentration camp survivors and a business that had purchased a former concentration camp site. You can link with Maria Arpa on LinkedIn and follow Maria's work on her website. Bob Marshall is an organizational psychotherapist who works with the collective psyche of organizations. He has been studying and practicing NVC for over 15 years, incorporating it into his work helping organizations understand and meet their collective needs. Bob believes in creating more joyful work environments and has dedicated his career to helping people have more pleasant experiences in the workplace. Bob Marshall is the author of several books on organizational psychotherapy. You can link with Bob Marshall on LinkedIn and follow Bob Marshall's blog.

Greg and Anna McKeown discuss the art of listening, exploring its transformative power in relationships. They discuss a pivotal moment from their dating history where effective listening shifted their connection and emphasized how empathic communication fosters understanding. Drawing insights from Carl Rogers' listening techniques, they share personal anecdotes about applying these principles in family dynamics and their marriage. Join my weekly newsletter. Learn more about my books and courses. Join The Essentialism Academy. Follow me on LinkedIn, Instagram, X, Facebook, and YouTube.