Podcast appearances and mentions of christine hassler christinhassler

This coaching call is about feeling out of control when being in control is how we have compensated for not getting what we needed as children. Today's caller, Cato, is pregnant and her lack of control is creating panic. She asks Christine for guidance on how to be okay with the changes in her life and her fear of feeling insignificant.   As children, we need to belong. We need love. And we need to feel safe. So, whatever we need to do and whoever we need to become to get those things, we do. The need for significance comes from not feeling enough as a child, not feeling significant just for who we are. So as an adult, we are constantly looking for people to see us, love us, and tell us how wonderful we are because that need was not fulfilled in childhood. Either we weren't told we were good or we only were told we were good when we did something “good.”   Something important for people to talk about is that — Yes, having a baby is blissful and magical AND it can be really hard at times. There are times when the hard times are more than the amazing times and that's okay. It is an identity death like no other and there's no way around that.   The more we resist it and try to hang on to who we were or to keep that version of us, the more we are going to bump up against resistance. Because when we get pregnant and when we give birth, the old version of us dies and the maiden becomes the mother. We have to find our new identity at the same time that we are learning to care for another human being. It's a lot.   Consider/Ask Yourself: Do you like control? Does it make you feel calm and safe? Do you consider yourself a capable, on-top-of-it person but something has completely thrown you off your game? Do you fear not being relevant or not being significant? Do you know how to receive, or do you believe that you must do to receive and be relevant?   Cato's Question: Cato fears that her pregnancy will make her irrelevant and insignificant. She is asking for guidance on how to be okay with herself and what is happening.   Cato's Key Insights and Ahas: She is excited about her pregnancy. Her pregnancy is forcing her to slow down. She signed up for Elementum Coaching Institute. Her pregnancy is bringing up depression and feelings of a lack of control. She is experiencing intense emotions and is unsure of herself for the first time. She realizes she has been using control to create safety. She fears slowing down and not being relevant or significant. Her inner child carries sadness and anger toward her father. She is unsure if she is worthy of raising her child. She is embodying receptivity. She feels closer to her womb and her heart. She has always kept busy to distract herself from her feelings. When she slows down, she feels restless. She finds purpose and meaning in her work.   How to Get Over It and On With It: Welcome the new feelings she is having. Listen to this episode when it airs. Embody what it feels like to be in her feminine. Be curious about her restlessness. Savor her pregnancy.   Resources: Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

In this episode of Over It and On With It, Christine Hassler coaches Mia, who struggles with self-blame and guilt following a challenging divorce. Mia's feelings of inadequacy and self-loathing stem from a history of emotional abuse and neglect in her childhood, compounded by her recent breakup.    Christine provides a compassionate and insightful discussion, helping Mia recognize that her pain is not her fault and offering strategies to address deep-seated beliefs and patterns. The episode aims to support listeners who might feel responsible for their suffering and struggle to break free from negative self-perceptions.   Consider/Ask Yourself: Do you struggle to move past events because you believe it's your fault? Are you stuck in a pattern of self-blame and self-loathing that prevents you from healing? Did you grow up in an environment where you felt neglected or abused, leading you to believe you deserve lousy treatment? Are you aware of any patterns of gaslighting or unhealthy relationships in your life? Do you find it challenging to let go of beliefs and thinking patterns that aren't serving you?   The Guest's Key Insights & A-HA's: Mia's self-blame and feelings of inadequacy are deeply rooted in her childhood experiences with a narcissistic family system. The belief that she deserves to be treated poorly is a result of internalizing abusive and neglectful behavior from her parents. Christine highlights that Mia's recent breakup and the blame placed on her by her ex-husband are symptoms of unresolved trauma and not reflective of her worth. The episode underscores the importance of differentiating between childhood trauma and current situations to avoid projecting past pain onto present circumstances.   How to Get Over It & On With It: Recognize and challenge the old beliefs stemming from childhood trauma that are influencing your current self-perception. Engage in physical and emotional grounding techniques, such as standing with feet on the floor and deep breathing, to reconnect with your sense of power and presence. Seek trauma-informed therapy and inner child work to address and heal from past abuse and neglect. Write down the facts of your situation to distinguish between reality and distorted beliefs. Affirm that the abuse and neglect you experienced were not your fault and that you are worthy of love and respect.   Upcoming Events: Christine Hassler's upcoming retreat at the end of September 2024. Early bird pricing is available until the end of August. Register at christinehassler.com/retreat. Free coaching call on July 31st focused on reducing stress and anxiety. Sign-up at christinehassler.com/freeworkshop.   Resources: Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

This coaching call is about breaking habitual patterns that are no longer needed. Today's caller, Jenny, is having completely different reactions to different situations. She asks for guidance on how to be consistent in all areas of her life and change her attachment style. Christine discovers that it is not so much about her attachment styles but about the story she tells herself in different situations.   [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode447].   For those of us who experienced a trauma, or when the worst happened or we got in trouble for something, a neural pathway in our minds created a belief that expecting something bad to happen at any moment prepares us for future traumas and the accompanying shock. The shock is what makes trauma stay in our bodies because when we think everything's fine, and something happens, our system is surprised. It becomes an imprint in our psyche, subconscious, emotional body, and our nervous system. Neural nets create unconscious patterns. When we are triggered we are hijacked by our subconscious.   As we grow and develop we have to update our survival strategies. So many of our survival strategies were formed when we were young. They are outdated. We have updated almost every other tool we use in our lives, yet we haven't updated our survival strategies. When you have a habitual reaction to something, interrupt the pattern.   If you have a situation where you are bracing, expecting the worst, or getting nervous, do whatever it takes to regulate your nervous system. Take deep breaths and pause to break the habit.   Consider/Ask Yourself: Do you feel like you're a different person in different situations? Are your reactions sometimes much bigger than a situation warrants? Do you often prepare yourself for the worst even though usually the worst doesn't happen? As a kid, was there a part of you that felt like you were in trouble, and that you didn't get things right?   Jenny's Question: Jenny would like guidance about why her reactions are different in different situations.   Jenny's Key Insights and Ahas: She feels she reacts differently to things at work, in relationships, and when with friends and family. Her relationship with her parents has changed since childhood. She often gets anxious at work and feels that she will be in trouble. She remembers getting in trouble with her father when she didn't do something right. She wants validation and love from her father. She doesn't feel good enough at work.   How to Get Over It and On With It: When triggered, regulate her system by putting a hand on her heart and her belly and saying “I'm not in trouble. I didn't do anything wrong.” Where is she telling herself she isn't enough? Give herself compassion and commitment. Don't give up!   Takeaway: When you have a habitual reaction to something, interrupt the pattern and update your survival strategy.   Sponsor: Air Doctor — is an air filter and air purifier that creates the healthiest environment in your home. It filters out dangerous contaminants and allergens with an ultra HEPA filter that removes 99.99% of tested bacteria and viruses. To get peace of mind, order an Air Doctor today with a 30-day money-back guarantee, go to AirDoctorPro.com, and use promo code “Overit” and get up to 39% off filters and $300 off on selected models.   Resources: Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

This coaching call is about giving ourselves the love we deserve. Today's caller, Nicole, is struggling to give the love and acceptance she gives to her child, to herself. She feels something is missing in her life because she didn't receive love from her parents. Christine offers guidance on how she can change her story and start loving herself.   [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode446].   Is it possible to give ourselves unconditional love 100% of the time? Is it possible to be loving to ourselves most of the time and catch ourselves when we are not? When we don't get the love we want, or need from our parents we can flip into the victim archetype easily. It is the subconscious way we try to get love for ourselves.   The challenge with loving ourselves the way we love other people is so pervasive. There is an epidemic of people who don't feel that they are enough in some way. Whether the feeling came from inside our childhood home or outside of it, it reinforced that limiting belief.   Love is our essence. It's naturally who we all are. But we move out of love and more into fear and judgment as we age. A practice we can do to be unconditionally loving to ourselves is to keep trying and keep showing up for ourselves. When we notice that we're not being loving to ourselves, when we're in judgment, fear, criticism, or shame, we can acknowledge it and bring ourselves back to love.   Press your hand on your heart and say “I am loved.” Press your hand on your belly and say “I am safe.“   Are you interested in meeting Christine at a live event in Austin? Go to ChristineHassler.com/LiveEvent answer a few questions and offer feedback about your interest in attending. The event will be introvert AND extrovert friendly.   Consider/Ask Yourself: Did you feel unconditionally loved as a child, and if you didn't, are you sad and angry about it? Did you find it hard to give yourself the love you so easily give others, especially a child or a partner? Do you struggle with being kind to yourself? Do you wish that you could have had the childhood that other children have or that your children have?   Nicole's Question: Nicole is struggling to give the love and acceptance she gives to her child, to herself.   Nicole's Key Insights and Ahas: Her son is autistic. She gives her son an abundance of love and affection. She believes her son chose her. She feels sad. She was not given unconditional love as a child. She feels anger toward her parents for the love she didn't get. She feels there is a big missing piece in her life. She has worked hard to not be a people pleaser and not to seek validation from others. She shares her mother's love for nature with her son. She wants to nurture a spiritual relationship with her parents.   How to Get Over It and On With It: Grieve and release feelings of rage or sadness. Embrace the love she is getting. Take the opportunity to parent herself as she parents her child. Feel gratitude in place of sadness. Step out of victim and into integration and application.   Resources: Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

This coaching call is about how to have a conscious conversation when anger is present. Today's caller, Megan, values growth and communication, yet she gets triggered when her husband needs space during tense conversations. She asks Christine for guidance on how to process her anger and have conscious conversations in her relationship.   [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode445].   No one communicates well when anger is present because we are in a completely different part of our brains. The part of the brain that anger resides in is ready to fight and do damage. When we are in that part of our brain we don't make the best choices. We are not in the part of our brain that accesses empathy, being resourced, cognitive functioning, and rationality. None of those skills are accessible when we are in anger.   Those of us who have done a lot of personal development work can sometimes have high expectations and high standards of how we should communicate and how other people should communicate with us. We need to remember that we are human. When we are in an argument, or we are not in a regulated state, it is difficult to consciously remind ourselves to use non-violent communication or to take a breath and release the anger in a healthy way or take some space.   Expecting ourselves to have amazing, empowered conversations when we are triggered is not an easy task. Because anger is a fiery, active energy that needs an outlet. If it isn't given a safe outlet or isn't expressed it will do other things.   Christine and Stefanos will be in Vancouver Canada during July and August 2024. If you would like to attend a reset workshop, or guided event contact Christine on Instagram @ChristineHassler.   Consider/Ask Yourself: Do you put a lot of pressure on yourself to be conscious when you are in an argument? Is anger a trigger for you? When someone gets angry, do you go into a trauma response, or do you fight, flight, or freeze? What is your attachment style? Growing up, were you shown how to deal with big feelings in a healthy way?   Megan's Question: Megan would like guidance about communication when anger is present and her husband needs space.   Megan's Key Insights and Ahas: She and her husband value growth and communication. When anger is present she forgets her healthy communication skills. She beats herself up for letting anger take over. She goes into an anxious attachment style when she gets angry. Her husband needs space to regulate when anger comes up. She didn't see much anger in her childhood. Her grandfather had anger issues. Her parents didn't express their emotions. She fears losing connection and love. A past boyfriend had a pattern of love-bombing her and then pulling away. She is not comfortable with big feelings. She uses sarcasm to express anger. She is ready to practice Christine's guidance.   How to Get Over It and On With It: Forgive herself for dropping into judgment. Take a deep breath and have a temper tantrum when she feels triggered to regulate her nervous system. When her husband needs space, actively release her anger. Remind herself that her husband taking space is not him leaving the relationship.   Resources: Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

This coaching call is about how being authentic attracts things most in alignment with what we want. Today's caller, Lisa, wants to call in a committed relationship. She feels her life choices may be keeping her from finding a partner. She asks for guidance about how to call in the partner she desires.   [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode444].   One of our superpowers as women is that we are highly adaptable and it can be a beautiful asset. But, it can also serve as a liability because, often, we think we need to adapt ourselves to get a man or to not scare someone off.   Anytime we become adaptable to try and align with a partner we contract our true selves. Our adaptability becomes a shadow side of our superpower because it doesn't feel super powerful to contract ourselves and to be something we are not.   Our unresolved issues from childhood, basically the beliefs and patterns we carry around, are one of the biggest blocks to calling in the relationship we desire. Doing inner child work is the foundation for us to be our authentic selves.   Being our authentic selves and living in alignment with who we truly are is the shift that will bring in the kind of partner that is in the most perfect alignment with us.   Are you a woman who wants to call in an epic relationship? In the Fall of 2024, Christine and Stefanos are hosting another amazing Be the Queen program with live monthly coaching calls, group support, guided meditations, and breathwork. To get access to the early bird benefits sign up at ChristineHassler.com/Queen.   Consider/Ask Yourself: Have you been trying to strategically date or strategically do something to get what you want, and it is not working? Do you think that the way you are isn't going to get you what you want? Are you somebody who does things differently and thinks that you need to change to get what you want? Do you trust that you can receive what you want?   Lisa's Question: Lisa wants to be in a committed relationship but feels her life choices are keeping her from finding a partner.   Lisa's Key Insights and Ahas: She moved to a different city to leave a toxic relationship. She believed the universe had a plan when she met another person but it didn't work out. She is nomadic. She wants a committed relationship but struggles in partnership. She is sad and feels stuck. She has a scarcity mindset. She feels she is on a constant mission to find a partner. She is an introvert. She is not being authentic to who she is. In childhood, she had to perform to get affection. She doubts herself. She doesn't want a partner who is tied to one place. She enjoys being by herself.   How to Get Over It and On With It: Consider what her version of stability is. Lean into who she authentically is. Stop focusing on the void she feels. Start energetically bringing in her ideal partner.   Sponsor: Aquatru — purifies water using a four-stage reverse osmosis process. The countertop purifiers remove 15 times more contaminants than ordinary pitcher filters plus the water tastes fantastic. Their long-lasting and affordable filters are independently tested and certified to NSF standards to remove over 80% of the most harmful contaminants. Go to Aquatru.com and enter OVERIT at checkout to get 20% off any water purifier.   Organifi— is the product of choice for those who want to feel healthy without much effort. Their red juice helps promote energy with zero caffeine. It has a clinical dose of cordyceps, natural herbs, and antioxidants. It only takes 30 seconds to prep. Visit organifi.com/Overit for 20% off, or use the promo code OVERIT at checkout.   Resources: Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

This coaching call is overcoming the blocks that keep us from achieving goals. Today's caller, Hannah Jade, feels her past decisions are holding her back from achieving her financial goals. She would like to understand the root cause of her block and how she can pursue her goals without conditions.   [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode443].   Ideally, there should be consistency in a child's life so they can focus on learning who they are, independent of their parents, and learn to take the initiative to have a sense of power and purpose in the world.   Our childhood doesn't have to define us or limit us. When we find the root cause and help our inner child get what they didn't get, have the developmental leap that they didn't have at that time, then it's like our past doesn't have to keep presenting itself in our present.   There is so much other work we can do around mind shifts and beliefs, and the work is powerful. When we combine it with inner child work and understanding what happens to us developmentally and what needs we needed to be met at certain times in our lives, it can help us make profound shifts faster.   Combining inner child work with mindset work is a great recipe for experiencing transformation in our lives.   Consider/Ask Yourself: Do you ever find that you can't seem to make your dreams happen? Do you feel ashamed when it comes to buying a house, getting married, or other milestone goals? Do you have debt you are ashamed of? Did you have some hard times in your childhood that may be impacting your life now?   Hannah Jade's Question: Hannah Jade feels her financial goals aren't attainable. She asks for guidance on how to make her goals feel possible.   Hannah Jade's Key Insights and Ahas: She feels her past choices are holding her back. She is loving herself through her experiences. She experienced a lot of changes during her childhood. She didn't have heavy trauma but she had many inconsistencies. She shied away from things she wanted to explore. She feels safe with people who are grounded. She has initiative but doubts her abilities. She has a strong connection with her inner child. She feels buying a home will fill her up with happiness. She feels she has stagnant or sluggish energy at times. She may have gone into debt to feel more connected. She is an entrepreneur.   How to Get Over It and On With It: Ask little Hannah Jade what she needs to be comfortable with taking initiatives. Create a bedtime routine for herself to support her inner child. Prioritize connections and intentions with herself. Treat herself and her debt with tenderness.   Sponsor: Air Doctor — is an air filter and air purifier that creates the healthiest environment in your home. It filters out dangerous contaminants and allergens with an ultra HEPA filter that removes 99.99% of tested bacteria and viruses. To get peace of mind, order an Air Doctor today with a 30-day money-back guarantee, go to AirDoctorPro.com, and use promo code “Overit” and get up to 39% off filters and $300 off on selected models. Podcast listeners get a free three-year warranty!   Resources: Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

This coaching call is about attraction in healthy relationships. Today's caller, Stephanie, feels she is in a wonderful relationship but it lacks the spark of chemistry. She would like to know whether or not it will ever exist. She doesn't realize how much her little girl is impacting her relationship, specifically the sexual attraction and intimacy aspect.   [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode442].   One of the reasons sex and attraction are easier in relationships that aren't super conscious and healthy is because we feel it is the only way we can connect to the other person. When we connect on conscious, intimate levels or we aren't coming from our wounded self, it can be overwhelming. To add sexuality into that, can often feel like too much. On some level, we withhold part of ourselves.   Projecting our unmet childhood needs on a partner is one of the ways we kill polarity. The safety we need from another person from an adult perspective is different from the safety our inner child needs. The agreements we have from parent to child are different from partner-to-partner agreements.   In healthy long-term relationships, it does take effort and intention because we don't have the initial chemistry and we don't have the dysfunction of the drama of unmet need attachment. If we are in a dynamic where our partners give us the things we didn't get from our parents, it can kill the spark. Just being in a relationship for a while can also lessen the spark.   Consider/Ask Yourself: Have you been in a relationship where there is a lot of love but not a lot of lust? Is there a part of you that believes you can't have chemistry, safety, consciousness, and love? How was intimacy modeled for you as a child? Was a healthy, affectionate, romantically intimate relationship modeled for you?   Stephanie's Question: Stephanie feels she is in a great relationship but the spark of sexual attraction is missing. She would like to know why.   Stephanie's Key Insights and Ahas: She is in a relationship with someone who shares similar goals and interests. They are both en route to be coaches. There hasn't been a lot of sexual attraction in their relationship. Her previous sexual attraction to others may have been her inner child attachment. She is unsure if she wants an “out” from the relationship. She feels that being vulnerable and intimate is not 100% safe. She wasn't able to be herself when she was young. She fears her partner will leave if she reveals herself fully. Her mother was ill during most of her childhood. She has not yet learned to be intimate with someone safe and to whom she can be connected. She wants to feel safe. Inconsistency and uncertainty scare her. Her inner child is working to get her attention. She has been in a survival pattern.   How to Get Over It and On With It: Lean into having sex and intimacy from a mature perspective. Join the Reconnect Inner Child Course. Get clear about the needs of her inner child. Be clear about what her needs in partnership are. Get the free download for couples from ChristineHassler.com/sacredunion. Sponsor: Caraway Cookware — Caraway products are toxicity-free, beautiful, and easy to clean and use. The cookware and bakeware sets have a chemical-free slick coating. The new stainless steel cookware set is a must-have. To upgrade your kitchenware in style and design, go to CarawayHome.com/Overit for 10% off and use the promo code OVERIT at checkout.   Resources: Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.  

This coaching call is a beautiful example of when we are so in our heads that we can not hear the truth of our intuition. Today's caller, Kara, feels she is compatible with her partner but that no chemistry exists between them. She asks Christine for guidance in making the decision to stay or go.   [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode441].   If you are thinking about leaving a relationship, have you shifted and shown up in the best way possible? There is a difference between talking about what is wrong with your partner and the things you want them to change, and actually being the change that could encourage their transformation. When we become the change and our partner still doesn't meet us, then it makes our decision-making much clearer.    If we keep going back and forth about something, we don't have clarity or we fear dropping into clarity. When making a decision, does deciding one way or another provide you with relief? If you don't experience relief, what is going through your mind, or what story are you telling yourself that keeps you from making a decision? When we don't have clarity, part of us knows that our triggers and patterns are at play. When we take responsibility for our side and we clean up our side of the street, then we can make the decision with clarity.    And, ladies remember that feminine energy is more than being affectionate and being a vixen. That is surface-level feminine. True feminine energy is about leaning into being a queen, making self-honoring choices, and trusting our discernment.    Are you ready to heal your inner child, set intentions, and reclaim your peace, purpose, and joy? If so, begin your 10-week journey on February 29th. Go to ChristineHassler.com/reconnect or support@ChristineHassler.com. Participants also get access to a year of live, monthly group coaching calls. Get $500 off when you use the promo code ‘child'.   Consider/Ask Yourself: Are you trying to make a decision and you can do pro/con lists and talk yourself in or out of it? Do you feel like you are over-masculine are over-feminine and you want to be more balanced?  When there's tension or conflict in a relationship do you use 'I' language or do you blame and project onto your partner, expecting them to change? Is your changing, reacting, and responding bringing out change and transformation in your partner, or are you reinforcing the behavior that you don't like and want to change?    Kara's Question: Kara doesn't know if she should leave her relationship and is having difficulty hearing her intuition.   Kara's Key Insights and Ahas: Her partner wants to work things out. She has broken the relationship off several times. She and her partner do shadow work. They are compatible but have no chemistry. She wants to trust her intuition but goes back and forth about it. They spend a lot of time together. She compares other relationships to hers. She tries to justify her choice. She creates emotional distance when there is a disagreement. She is not relaxed in her relationship. Her masculine energy comes through in relationship.  She wants a man with healthy masculine energy. She is comfortable in control. She feels her relationship is a personal development course.   How to Get Over It and On With It: Stop the back-and-forth. Consider the way she shows up in relationship. Lean into her feminine and her discernment and make decisions from there. Sponsor: Organifi— is the product of choice for those who want to feel healthy without much effort. Their green juice helps reduce stress, and resets your morning with a clinical dose of ashwagandha and supports healthy cortisol levels. It only takes 30 seconds to prep. Visit organifi.com/Overit for 20% off or use the promo code OVERIT at checkout.   Resources: Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

This coaching call is about why we play out childish patterns even though we are adults. Today's caller, Caitlyn, lost her father as a teenager and still shames herself for the decisions she made shortly after. Christine walks her through the empty chair process so she can talk with her father about her feelings and actions.   [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode440].   Many of us can relate to doing things in our adult lives without understanding why we are doing them. We are often aware of what we are doing and we know better, but we can't seem to change our behavior. That is our inner child repeating a pattern from when a trauma was formed. Plus, when we feel shame about something, it can make us want to isolate and not ask for help.   When we have a big trauma like losing our primary parent, or someone we are extremely close to, a part of our psyche gets frozen at that age. And, oftentimes, when we go through any type of loss we go into survival and we don't give ourselves the time to grieve. If there is a loss you haven't fully processed, you are encouraged to create a ceremony or set up an environment to help you fully grieve.   Are you ready to heal your inner child, set intentions, and reclaim your peace, purpose, and joy? If so, begin your 10-week journey on February 29th. Go to ChristineHassler.com/reconnect.   Consider/Ask Yourself: Do you find yourself doing things that are immature and you are not proud of yet you can't seem to stop? Did you have a trauma in your teenage years that is still impacting you on some level? Do you have regret, judgment, and shame about how you acted or reacted to things? Have you lost someone you love and would like to reconnect with them?   Caitlyn's Question: Caitlyn struggles with telling untruths to the people who love and care about her. She asks for guidance on how to change her behavior.   Caitlyn's Key Insights and Ahas: She stretches the truth and is embarrassed by it. She is 6-years clean from alcohol and drugs. She recently joined a fellowship. She feels shame and avoids people. She thinks people won't like her if she is her true self. Her father passed away when she was in high school. She believes her father would be ashamed of her actions. She is scared that she has ruined her life. She may be frozen in time emotionally. She hasn't fully grieved her father.   How to Get Over It and On With It: Do the empty chair process and have a conversation with her father. Realize she did the best she could given the circumstances. Grieve the loss of her father. Forgive herself for the decisions she made when she was 15.   Sponsor: Aquatru — purifies water using a four-stage reverse osmosis process. The countertop purifiers remove 15 times more contaminants than ordinary pitcher filters plus the water tastes fantastic. Their long-lasting and affordable filters are independently tested and certified to NSF standards to remove over 80% of the most harmful contaminants. Go to Aquatru.com and enter OVERIT at checkout to get 20% off any water purifier.   Resources: Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

This coaching call is about why we stay in relationships that are not for our highest good and how to have the courage to get out of them. Today's caller, Em, has been married for four years. Both she and her partner have faltered in their commitments during that time. She asks Christine for guidance on whether or not to stay in the relationship.   [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode439].   As adults, we are attracted to different versions of our parents because the inner child is always seeking out resolution from our childhood wounding. Until we work on understanding where our subconscious programming comes from and why we choose what we choose, we continue the patterning until we can heal our inner child and give ourselves what we didn't get in childhood.   When we eventually get to forgiveness, we are able to stop harboring guilt and shame. So when we do make mistakes, we can make clear agreements with ourselves to move forward in making better decisions for ourselves from a healed place.   And, when it comes to leaving any relationship, there is going to be a mixture of grief and relief. It's totally natural. Grief passes when we are making decisions based on our highest good.   Are you ready to heal your inner child, set intentions, and reclaim your peace, purpose, and joy? If so, take advantage of early bird pricing and join Christine for a bonus call to begin your 10-week journey. Go to ChristineHassler.com/reconnect.   Em's Question: Em is having issues in her relationship and would like to regain the stability to feel love again.   Em's Key Insights and Ahas: She has been married for four years. Her relationship has lost its spark and intimacy. She is lonely. There is infidelity on both sides of the relationship. She is self-sabotaging. She is out of alignment with her values. She wants stability in her relationship. Her father cheated on her mother. She is attracted to partners that remind her of her father. Her mother was controlling and critical during her childhood. Her partner is not willing to make changes. Making clear decisions can be difficult for her.   How to Get Over It and On With It: Decide how much longer she is going to fight for her father's love. Trust herself and choose herself. Be clear with her wife about where she is and what she needs to see if she is willing to show up for her.   Sponsor: Organifi— is the product of choice for those who want to feel healthy without much effort. Their gold blend helps the nervous system and the green and red juices are daily treats for people on the go. Visit organifi.com/Overit for 20% off or use the promo code OVERIT at checkout.   Caraway Cookware — Caraway products are toxicity-free, beautiful, and easy to clean and use. The cookware and bakeware sets have a chemical-free slick coating. The new stainless steel cookware set is a must-have. To upgrade your kitchenware in style and design, go to CarawayHome.com/Overit for 10% off and use the promo code OVERIT at checkout.   Resources: Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

This coaching call is about believing you can have what you want. Today's caller, Rebecca, grew up wondering if her mother's love was conditional. She asks for guidance on how to believe she can get what she wants without her life always being one way or the other. This episode will resonate with you if you fear being disappointed and believe you are limited in what you can have in your life.   [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode438].   It is important that we challenge our thinking and realize when we are in either/or, then eliminate it. There are often many more options than we think there are. A lot of it comes from growing up in fear-based environments. When we grow up when there is dysregulation, very little reassurance, or when adults are not leading the family, and inconsistent messaging, there is a desire for certainty and we have a limited view of our possibilities. It also happens when we grow up in a strict household, or highly intellectual household where there isn't a lot of room for creativity and imagination.   Do you engage in either/or thinking? Do you settle for something because you don't believe you can have what you want?   When we believe we can have what we want and we settle into those places, we don't have the fears that come with the limiting belief that we don't deserve it or are not capable of it in some way.   We don't need to be afraid of disappointment. Regret is way worse than risk. When we play it safe and we settle, we end up with regret.   Journey to Joy is a free three-day inner child workshop with Christine and Stefanos on February 6th ‒ 8th, 2024. Send an email to jill@christinehassler.com to get more information or go to ChristineHassler.com/joy to sign up.   Consider/Ask Yourself: Were you parentified as a child? Were there mixed messages in your home? Maybe, you felt loved but if you made a mistake, you doubted the love. Do you believe you can have what you want? Do you fear disappointment that you end up settling for things?   Rebecca's Question: Rebecca is bouncing between states of being when making life decisions.   Rebecca's Key Insights and Ahas: She is in survival mode when trying to make decisions. She feels low when she finally makes a decision. She is an emotionally sensitive person. She had to make sure her mother was doing well. Her mother was inconsistent about giving her love. She is in a relationship with someone who isn't clear about how he feels about her. She doesn't believe she can get what she wants. She dreads sharing her joy with her family. She has unprocessed anger and guilt. She wants to punish her family. She doesn't fully apply herself to any one thing. She puts herself last. She tries to avoid disappointment. She believes she is unlovable.   How to Get Over It and On With It: Take action while believing she can have everything she wants. Check in with herself several times a day to see what she wants. Being disappointed is okay. Challenge her either/or thinking. Join the Inner Child Journey to Joy workshop.   Sponsor: Organifi— is the product of choice for those who want to feel healthy without much effort. Their gold blend helps the nervous system and the green and red juices are daily treats for people on the go. Visit organifi.com/Overit for 20% off and use the promo code OVERIT at checkout.   Resources: Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

This coaching call is about getting out of our heads and into our bodies. Today's caller, Ivy, had to suppress her natural inclinations as a child and she doesn't feel safe in her body. She asks Christine for guidance around releasing the blocks to get what she wants from life. This session is extremely helpful if you relate to being in your head, or cognitive, or thinking more than feeling your way through things.   [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode437].   As children, we internalize and amplify the voice and the messages of our parents and that is what becomes our inner voice, or inner critic. And, often, why we don't feel safe in our bodies because we left our bodies at a very young age due to not feeling safe. We didn't feel safe to be ourselves, and we didn't feel safe mentally or emotionally.   There are so many things we do to protect ourselves. And what often happens is we hurt ourselves more. But until we realize so much of what we're doing is protective patterning and until we find another way to “protect” ourselves, we keep doing the things that make us feel safe even if they aren't the healthiest things for us. It is so deeply healing to get into our body and communicate with our inner child.   Remember, working with a coach or therapist is great, but it can be helpful if the person you are working with has struggled with similar things you are struggling with.   Journey to Joy is a free three-day inner child workshop with Christine and Stefanos on February 6th ‒ 8th, 2024. Send an email to jill@christinehassler.com to get more information or go to ChristineHassler.com/joy to sign up.   Consider/Ask Yourself: Do you have trouble getting out of your head into your body? Have you been told to do somatic work or body-based practices but you just can't seem to do it? Do you have a fierce inner critic? Do you carry a lot of shame?   Ivy's Question: Ivy would like guidance on how to remove the blocks that are keeping her from taking action to get where she wants to be.   Ivy's Key Insights and Ahas: She is in therapy. She thinks she may have a block due to body shaming. She is unable to identify how she feels. She thinks she is emotionally unavailable. She finds it difficult to express her anger. She feels she is not worthy. She struggles with using her internal compass. She criticizes herself. She has inner child wounding. She would like to get out of her head. She was shamed for being emotionally expressive as a child. She doesn't feel safe in her body. She fears people will see her as messy and unlovable. She had to suppress herself as a child. She is committed to her healing.   How to Get Over It and On With It: Find her passionate parental voice. Know that she is worthy. Do inner child work. Possibly Journey to Joy. Find things that work for her, not just what she is told to do. Commit to loving herself and giving herself the childhood she didn't have.   Resources: Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

This coaching call is about grief and guilt about past choices. Today's caller, Michelle, is doing her best to navigate through the guilt and shame she feels about a decision she made. This is a beautiful conversation that can be triggering for a lot of reasons. Please listen with an open heart, open mind, and compassion. We all can relate on some level to making decisions we regret, or are not proud of, or that we feel shame or guilt around.   [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode436].   With any choice, it is easier to look into the past from where we are now and evaluate the choice and wish we had done something differently. We have an amazing ability to judge and punish ourselves for a decision we made in the past. When truly we were making the best decision we could at the time.   If you have shame, guilt, or regret over a choice you made, how is that serving you? What is the guilt doing? How much longer do you want to punish yourself?  Eventually, we have to let the guilt go and get to forgiveness because unless you have a time machine there is no way to change it. The only thing we can do is move forward.   When a person, especially a mother, is taking care of their health and making decisions that are most in alignment with their truth, it benefits their child.   Journey to Joy is a free three-day inner child workshop with Christine and Stefanos on February 6th ‒ 8th, 2024. Send an email to jill@christinehassler.com to get more information or go to ChristineHassler.com/joy to sign up.   Consider/Ask Yourself: Have you made a choice that you have shame or guilt about? Are you trying to justify a decision you have made? Is there a part of you that doesn't feel safe and secure?  Can you get out of your head, your beliefs, or your judgments and allow your heart to open to feel what you need to feel?   Michelle's Question: Michelle is asking for guidance on how to release the grief she feels about terminating her pregnancy.   Michelle's Key Insights and Ahas: Michelle terminated her unexpected pregnancy last year. She felt she was abandoning her inner child. Her young-woman energy was not ready to have a child. She feels unworthy, unsafe, and insecure. She wants one day to step into motherhood but wants to release her grief first. She knows the pregnancy came into her life for a reason. She knows she made the best decision for her. She's been trying to connect with the soul because she didn't during her pregnancy. She was not ready to be a mother. She knows she is worthy but finds it difficult to embody it. She wants to let go of things that don't serve her.   How to Get Over It and On With It: Know that taking care of ourselves is the best thing for our children. It is time to deal with her inner child wound. Grieve without the story and the justification. Ask the child what it was there to teach her. Create safety and security for herself. Check out Byron Katie's “The Work.” She is worthy of love. Trust her decisions. Join the Journey to Joy inner child workshop. Prepare to consciously conceive with love.   Takeaways: Where are you not making self-honoring choices in the name of love?   Sponsor: Caraway Cookware — Caraway products are toxicity-free, beautiful, and easy to clean and use. The cookware and bakeware sets have a chemical-free slick coating. The new stainless steel cookware set is a must-have. To upgrade your kitchenware in style and design, go to CarawayHome.com/Overit for 10% off and use the promo code OVERIT at checkout.   Resources: Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

This coaching call is about removing blocks. Today's caller, Matt, has fears related to starting a new entrepreneurial business based on childhood wounding. Christine offers guidance about how he can release his self-protective mechanisms and fears of not being worthy of success.   [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode435].   There are life-changing repercussions from significant childhood events where we felt shame, were not seen, or were not loved for who we are. Those events can create conscious and subconscious blocks because deep down our inner child believes something is wrong with them.   Many of us don't get to where we want to go in life because we haven't healed the origin wound that is holding us back.   We can get critical of the ways we believe we are sabotaging ourselves. But in reality, we are not sabotaging ourselves, we are protecting ourselves. The next time you notice yourself procrastinating or making excuses, put your hand on your heart and remember that it is just a form of self-protection and that you are safe to express yourself because you are an adult now and you've got this.   Did you set goals for 2024? Being personally matched with a coach may be the support you need to make your intentions a reality. Commit to six highly-curated sessions and get a transformational experience for a low price. Apply at ElementumCoachingInstitute.com/CIT.   Journey to Joy is a free three-day inner child workshop with Christine and Stefanos in February. Send an email to jill@christinehassler.com to get more information.   Consider/Ask Yourself: Was there an event in your life that has dramatically impacted how you see yourself and how you see the world? Is there something you want to do, maybe a career you want to step into or a relationship you want to take to the next level but you're terrified? Do you fear rejection? Do you fear getting your heart broken, so much so that you don't go after the things you want?   Matt's Question: Matt has blocks around starting a video production business.   Matt's Key Insights and Ahas: He has a day job. He had an HIV diagnosis that changed his trajectory. He runs a support group for others with HIV. He fears that something will go wrong when he tries something new. He is in a two-year relationship. He has a block around planning for the future. He has childhood wounds around being who he is. He has a lot of awareness about his blocks. He's been incorporating inner child work into his life. He wants to get his website up and running but he is stalling and making excuses. He has time management concerns around starting a new business. He loves video editing and being creative. He acknowledges it is OK to have fears. He is ready to make a change.   How to Get Over It and On With It: Change his language when talking about his fears and protective patterns. Don't get frustrated with the protective part of his psyche. Completely accept himself for who he is. Know he is lovable. Get a picture of himself as a teen and use it as a tool to follow his “why.”   Sponsor: Air Doctor — is an air filter and air purifier that creates the healthiest environment in your home. It filters out dangerous contaminants and allergens with an ultra HEPA filter that removes 99.99% of tested bacteria and viruses. To get peace of mind, order an Air Doctor today with a 30-day money-back guarantee, go to AirDoctorPro.com, and use promo code “Overit” and get up to 39% off filters and $300 off on selected models. Podcast listeners get a free three-year warranty!   Resources: Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

This coaching call is about doing the work and not expecting a partner to bring the romance to you. Today's caller, Joey, is yearning for more romance and intimacy in her marriage but her fear of abandonment may be holding her back from deeper intimacy. Christine offers guidance on how Joey can accept her partner for who he is and create more romance in her relationship.   [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode434].   We all can relate to that initial stage of a relationship where it's hot and heavy and you can't get enough of each other, and then it's ten years later. How do you sustain that? You can't. You cannot sustain the initial hormonal rush that happens when you first get together with someone. But, what you can do is grow your passion.   When you initially meet someone, even if it's your soulmate and fireworks go off, the kind of intimacy you have with someone after you have known them for five, ten, or twenty years is much deeper. And, unfortunately, it cannot be so HOT sometimes because you know someone a little too well. However, if you can reframe how you see it, it can be a turn-on.   Connect to your partner in a way that lights them up instead of expecting them to romance you and seduce you the way you think they should do it. Let that build the passion. Because when you are constantly on someone to be more romantic, passionate, and emotionally available, it is not a turn-on for them.   When you take an interest in what your partner loves, it pays emotional and sensual dividends.   Did you set goals for 2024? Being personally matched with a coach may be the support you need to make your intentions a reality. Commit to six highly-curated sessions and get a transformational experience for a low price. Apply at ElementumCoachingInstitute.com/CIT.   Consider/Ask Yourself: Are you someone who wants more romance and passion in your relationship? Do you want more emotional intimacy in your relationship? Have abandonment wounds made you more avoidant in relationships? Are you willing to accept your partner for who they are and see that as the most romantic thing you could ever do?   Joey's Question: Joey would like guidance on how to create emotional availability and intimacy in her marriage.   Joey's Key Insights and Ahas: She and her husband do conscious healing work. She has abandonment wounds from childhood. She left her corporate work and is becoming a coach. She is not sure if it is her emotional unavailability, or her husband's, creating intimacy issues. She wants romance and passion from her husband. She has been married for ten years. She sets the bar for romance high because of her abandonment wounds. She may be overlooking when her husband sends intimate signals. She finds fault and resentment in her husband when he doesn't meet her expectations. She creates fantasy relationships with other men in her head. She is vague when asking for what she wants.   How to Get Over It and On With It: Accept her partner for who he is and stop projecting on him. Reframe how she looks at passion, romance, and intimacy. Acknowledge, nourish, and encourage her husband when he does romantic or sensual things. Make space outside of her relationship to ensure intimacy lines don't get blurred. Remind herself that what she truly craves is consistency and stability. Be clear about what she wants.   Resources: Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

This coaching call is about letting go of wanting to be right and healing a sister wound. As a teenager, today's caller, Mariella, idealized her older sister but didn't agree with her relationship choices. She feels her concern fell on deaf ears. She is asking for guidance on how to let go of her need to be right and to be happy with her sister.   [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode433].   In communications with others, we need to be honest with ourselves about whether we are sharing our feelings or just sharing our opinions. If we want vulnerable, healthy, authentic connections with people, use “I” language and share feelings rather than opinions. Because other people's lives are none of our business. We can have multiple opinions about the lives of others but they don't matter.   Also, be honest with yourself about how often you want to be right. What do you get from being right? We can have a difference of opinion with others and not push the point without letting people walk all over us. An argument just to prove we are right is not worth the energetic real estate it takes to wait for our position to be validated.   We can take 100% responsibility for our lives without being in other people's business. We can either let go of our past by processing and accepting it, or we continue to live with it in our present.   Consider/Ask Yourself: Is there something that happened and you are waiting for someone to tell you that you are right? Have you been hurt or have you had an expectation hangover regarding your sister or a female friend? Are you someone who feels that you give more in relationships than you receive?   Mariella's Question: Mariella would like to feel validated by her sister and let down the wall she has up when it comes to her sister's happiness.   Mariella's Key Insights and Ahas: She felt her sister's ex wasn't good for her sister when she was young. She felt her sister chose her ex over her. She felt her sister didn't listen to her or take her views seriously. She was 13. Her sister was 18. She is waiting for her sister to tell her she was right. She finds it difficult to be happy for her sister. Her sister is going to remarry. She wants what is best for her sister. She feels a responsibility to keep the family in order. She is happily married. She feels that her feelings don't matter. She is disappointed that her sister doesn't fit into her idea of who she should be. She has difficulty coming to terms with who her sister is.   How to Get Over It and On With It: Tell her inner child what she needs to hear without expecting her sister to do it. Realize her sister's life is not her business. Accept her sister for who she is. Be happy with her sister, not for her. Grieve and accept that she will never receive validation from her sister.   Sponsor: Caraway Cookware — Caraway products are toxicity-free, beautiful, and easy to clean and use. The cookware and bakeware sets have a chemical-free slick coating. To take advantage of a limited-time offer for listeners of this podcast, go to CarawayHome.com/Overit. Get a 10% discount when you upgrade your kitchen experience.   Resources: Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

This coaching call is about learning to trust others. Today's caller, Samantha, was bullied as a child and finds it difficult to trust others enough to make new friends. She asks for guidance on expanding her circle of friends and allowing herself to be truly seen by others.   [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode432].   We can get a thousand compliments, and a thousand great things can happen but we always seem to remember the one yucky thing someone said or did. And, often, it can be much stronger than yucky. It can be downright traumatic. Being bullied, not feeling like you fit in, and not feeling that you can trust people are very traumatic because they push against our need for belonging, which is a safety and survival need.   If you have a hard time trusting people, really the person you don't trust is yourself.   If you are looking at something in your life that feels like a big problem or block, look to where the beliefs or behaviors have served you. Consider how you can reframe it. Choose wisely or pay attention to your intuition if something comes up. Or, if someone betrays you, stand up for yourself. Stand up to a bully. Get honest with yourself, and stop playing the victim.   The CIT coaching opportunity is to be coached by Elementum Coaching Institute's coach-in-training program. Commit to six sessions and get a transformational experience for a low price. Apply at ElementumCoachingInstitute.com/CIT.   Consider/Ask Yourself: Would you like to have more people in your life but you just don't trust people? Are you expecting people to hurt you and find it hard to trust others? Was there an early-life event that shaped the way you make friendships and let people in?   Samantha's Question: Samantha struggles to trust people and would like guidance on how to be more open to expanding her inner circle.   Samantha's Key Insights and Ahas: She was bullied as a young girl. She doesn't trust people immediately. She wants to be open to additional friendships. People don't seem safe to her. She feels people are out to get her. She feels blocked from making new friends. She wants to protect herself and be free.   How to Get Over It and On With It: Learn to trust herself. Reframe what she tells herself. Challenge her existing beliefs.   Resources: Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.  

This coaching call is about being curious about body parts and sexuality with other children as a child and then feeling shame and guilt about it as an adult. Today's caller, Michelle, was a curious child who did not have a good representation of what sex was. She asks for guidance on how to forgive herself and release her guilt and shame.   [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode431].   How do we raise children not to be ashamed of their bodies, to feel comfortable with their sexuality, and to have boundaries? It comes down to present parenting and having an open dialogue about sexuality and boundaries. Oftentimes, when we are raised with the programming that sex is saved until marriage, there's a curiosity that isn't quenched.   When parents don't have conversations about human sexuality, children do not get their questions answered. Children are naturally curious and will find out on their own if a parent does not make them aware that sexual curiosity is a very natural thing that children have.   If this conversation resonates with you it is time to forgive those places inside that hold guilt and shame. It doesn't do us any good. Healing, learning, and re-parenting our inner child is what helps us grow.   Christine is accepting new private one-on-one coaching clients and small groups of 2‒4 people for coaching sessions. To apply go to ChristineHassler.com/VIP. An additional coaching opportunity is to be coached by Elementum Coaching Institute's coach-in-training program. Commit to six sessions and get a transformational experience for a low price. Apply at ElementumCoachingInstitute.com/CIT.   Consider/Ask Yourself: Are you carrying around shame and guilt from your childhood or the past? Did you sexually explore with other children and have shame about it as an adult? As a parent, are you thinking about how to address or handle sexuality with your child? Are you willing to finally forgive yourself and stop punishing yourself to live the life you want?   Michelle's Question: Michelle asks for guidance on releasing the shame and guilt she has carried since childhood.   Michelle's Key Insights and Ahas: As a child, she sexually explored with a family member. She believes it is limiting her sexual pleasure as an adult. The exploration happened 30 years ago. She has had a conversation about it with her husband. She was raised in a religious home. She has a curious nature. Her mother spoke about sex in a way that made her uncomfortable. She doesn't feel she pressured anyone into sexual exploration. She was parentified too soon. She carries the shame deeply in her body. She punishes herself and makes herself a villain.   How to Get Over It and On With It: Understand she was not a predator. Forgive herself for a situation she cannot go back and change. Forgive herself for buying into the misunderstanding that she was responsible at eight to ten years old. Complete the Inner Child Workshop. Write down her beliefs and judgments about her situation and forgive herself for each one.   Sponsor: Air Doctor — is an air filter and air purifier that creates the healthiest environment in your home. It filters out dangerous contaminants and allergens with an ultra HEPA filter that removes 99.99% of tested bacteria and viruses. To get peace of mind, order an Air Doctor today with a 30-day money-back guarantee, go to AirDoctorPro.com, and use promo code “Overit” and get up to 39% off filters and $300 off on selected models. Podcast listeners get a free three-year warranty!   Resources: Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

This coaching call is about feeling out of control when being in control is how we have compensated for not getting what we needed as children. Today's caller, Cato, is pregnant and her lack of control is creating panic. She asks Christine for guidance on how to be okay with the changes in her life and her fear of feeling insignificant.   [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode430].   As children, we need to belong. We need love. And we need to feel safe. So, whatever we need to do and whoever we need to become to get those things, we do. The need for significance comes from not feeling enough as a child, not feeling significant just for who we are. So as an adult, we are constantly looking for people to see us, love us, and tell us how wonderful we are because that need was not fulfilled in childhood. Either we weren't told we were good or we only were told we were good when we did something “good.”   Something important for people to talk about is that — Yes, having a baby is blissful and magical AND it can be really hard at times. There are times when the hard times are more than the amazing times and that's okay. It is an identity death like no other and there's no way around that.   The more we resist it and try to hang on to who we were or to keep that version of us, the more we are going to bump up against resistance. Because when we get pregnant and when we give birth, the old version of us dies and the maiden becomes the mother. We have to find our new identity at the same time that we are learning to care for another human being. It's a lot.   Consider/Ask Yourself: Do you like control? Does it make you feel calm and safe? Do you consider yourself a capable, on-top-of-it person but something has completely thrown you off your game? Do you fear not being relevant or not being significant? Do you know how to receive, or do you believe that you must do to receive and be relevant?   Cato's Question: Cato fears that her pregnancy will make her irrelevant and insignificant. She is asking for guidance on how to be okay with herself and what is happening.   Cato's Key Insights and Ahas: She is excited about her pregnancy. Her pregnancy is forcing her to slow down. She signed up for Elementum Coaching Institute. Her pregnancy is bringing up depression and feelings of a lack of control. She is experiencing intense emotions and is unsure of herself for the first time. She realizes she has been using control to create safety. She fears slowing down and not being relevant or significant. Her inner child carries sadness and anger toward her father. She is unsure if she is worthy of raising her child. She is embodying receptivity. She feels closer to her womb and her heart. She has always kept busy to distract herself from her feelings. When she slows down, she feels restless. She finds purpose and meaning in her work.   How to Get Over It and On With It: Welcome the new feelings she is having. Listen to this episode when it airs. Embody what it feels like to be in her feminine. Be curious about her restlessness. Savor her pregnancy.   Sponsor: Caraway Cookware — Caraway products are toxicity-free, beautiful, and easy to clean and use. The cookware and bakeware sets have a chemical-free slick coating. The new stainless steel cookware set is a must-have. To take advantage of a limited-time offer for listeners of this podcast, go to CarawayHome.com/Overit. Get a 20% discount on a stylish gift for your home or friends and family for the holidays.   Resources: Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

This coaching call is about breaking the cycle of being in unhealthy relationships, specifically with emotionally unavailable or narcissistic people. Today's caller, Behnaz, feels guilty, exhausted, and angry when dealing with her family and longs for deeper connections. She asks Christine for guidance on how to break the cycle and release her anger.   [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode429].   We all have encountered someone with either narcissism or at least narcissistic tendencies, emotional unavailability, and gaslighting. It can be a frustrating and maddening place to be. It almost makes us feel crazy because we feel we are not being heard, we are not being seen, and it is frustrating.   Why empaths are so attracted to narcissists is because, on a subconscious level, we see that they don't have access to love. We can feel it. We think our love will somehow awaken the love in them but it just doesn't work that way. We just end up giving away our power, and our heart, and we end up collapsing our boundaries.   It can be hard when we are a loving person, and we have a pattern of engaging with people who are not in touch with the love inside themselves. It's exhausting.   If you know you have been gaslit before, be aware that you may either shut down completely and not talk at all or go into over-talking and over-explaining. It's not bad or wrong. It's just a natural reaction to being gaslit. Part of healing from being gaslit is finding our authentic self-expression, not coming from justification or defending, knowing exactly what we need to say and how much we need to say.   On some level, some of us do sign up to be generational pattern breakers. It's the only way the consciousness of the planet evolves.   Spring 2024 will bring a new 10-week, Live, Inner Child Program from Christine and Stefanos. More information is coming soon.   Christine wants to hear from you! She is considering making some changes to the show, and she wants your feedback. Go to ChristineHassler.com/survey to answer a few questions about the podcast, and if you include your name and email, you will be entered into a raffle to win a 30-minute coaching session with Christine.   Behnaz's Question: Behnaz's self-esteem is not where she wants it to be and she struggles to find her voice around narcissists. She wants guidance on how to release her anger and break the pattern.   Behnaz's Key Insights and Ahas: Adults gaslit her when she was a child. She holds back her thoughts around narcissists. She feels she has boundaries. She has internalized anger she is unable to express. She is exhausted. She speaks up for herself but is resentful when nothing changes. She tries to connect with emotionally unavailable people. She wanted a deeper connection with her parents. She yearns to love and connect with people. Her soul signed up to be a generational pattern breaker. She feels guilty about cutting off a relationship with her aunt. She is a joyful person. She is creating a family of friends. She feels alone.   How to Get Over It and On With It: Grieve the relationship she didn't have with her family. Accept that she chose her family to learn through contrast. Get in touch with her anger. Accept that she cannot change anyone. Know it is OK to step away from unhealthy relationships. Honor who she is and come into alignment with it.   Sponsor: Caraway Cookware — Caraway products are toxicity-free, beautiful, and easy to clean and use. The cookware and bakeware sets have a chemical-free slick coating. The new stainless steel cookware set is a must-have. To take advantage of a limited-time offer for listeners of this podcast, go to CarawayHome.com/Overit. Get a 20% discount on a stylish gift for your home or friends and family for the holidays.   Resources: Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

This coaching call is about getting out of the loop of needing reassurance. Today's caller, Michele, does not feel safe in relationships and asks her partner for constant reassurance. If you have jealousy, worry, or anxiety in relationships or situations, you will find value in today's episode.   [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode428].   There are times when we have insecurity or concerns in relationships. During those times, it is reasonable to go to our partner and ask for reassurance. That is within the range of a healthy relationship. But when we find ourselves in a perpetual loop of needing reassurance constantly in order to feel relief and love, it is because we don't feel safe.   When we really feel love, it is beautiful and amazing and it is also terrifying. We have to acknowledge that it is risky and there will be things about it that will scare us. But when we recognize the risk and fear, if we greet the scared part of us with compassion and love, we can stop the fear from running the show. When we see the loop for what it is and take self-honoring actions, we take ourselves off the hamster wheel and stop abandoning ourselves.   Breaking the loop is a huge act of self-love and self-care. It's never our partner's job to heal us, but they can have an active role in understanding our wounding and being compassionate and patient with us as we heal.   Christine wants to hear from you! She is considering making some changes to the show, and she wants your feedback. Go to ChristineHassler.com/survey to answer a few questions about the podcast, and if you include your name and email, you will be entered into a raffle to win a 30-minute coaching session with Christine.   Consider/Ask Yourself: Are you in a safe situation, relationship, or career but you're afraid you're going to lose it? As a child, were marriage and relationships not modeled to you in a great way? Do you need constant reassurance or otherwise, you feel unsettled? Do you judge that part of you that needs constant reassurance?   Michele's Question: Michele asks for guidance on how to stop needing reassurance in her new relationship.   Michele's Key Insights and Ahas: She has a compulsive need for reassurance. She doesn't feel safe in relationships. She fears abandonment. She was blindsided by her ex's infidelity. She's been jealous in her relationships. As a child, she didn't have good models of relationship. Her brother left home at a young age. She feels a deep connection with her new partner. Her partner reassures her often. She gets frustrated with herself about her need for reassurance.  She fears she will manifest the ending of a relationship. She believes she should have outgrown her fear by now.   How to Get Over It and On With It: Have compassion when the part of her that needs control comes up. Ask herself if her fear is substantiated. Recognizing when she is in a loop will help break the cycle. Draw a diagram of her cycle of fear with exit routes. Be gentle with the scared parts of herself. Enjoy her relationship.   Takeaway: Draw out a diagram of what perpetuates your cycle of fear and give yourself exit routes.   Sponsor: Air Doctor — is an air filter and air purifier that creates the healthiest environment in your home. It filters out dangerous contaminants and allergens with an ultra HEPA filter that removes 99.99% of tested bacteria and viruses. To get peace of mind, order an Air Doctor today with a 30-day money-back guarantee, go to AirDoctorPro.com, and use promo code “Overit23” and get up to 20% off filters and $350 off on selected models. This Black Friday special also includes a free 3-year warranty on any unit.   Resources: Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

This coaching call is about giving ourselves the time to be where we are, even if we don't like it. Today's caller, Maria, has suffered recent losses. It is causing past grief to surface. She asks Christine for guidance on how to tone down her hyper-vigilance and move through the grief she is experiencing.   [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode427].   Many of us get our idea of what a mother is based on our mother, the media, or other things that are so far off from what a mother actually is. A mother is not a martyr, not someone who sacrifices everything, has no life, or no sense of herself. It is also not abandoning a child, either physically or emotionally, because she's so caught up in her own trauma.   A mother is being a loving, nurturing model of what a healthy nervous system looks like, what nurturing looks like, what unconditional love looks like, what acceptance looks like, what boundaries look like, and what soothing looks like.   When we are in a phase in life where we are still working out subconscious patterns and wounding, it is impossible to see red flags. If you are beating yourself up for red flags you didn't see in situations, especially partnerships, please forgive yourself. You had to be in those relationships to wake up! Remember, we are naturally attracted to our dysfunction. We are naturally attracted to people who remind us of the parents who didn't give us what we wanted.   Please forgive yourself. You can see the red flags now because you have done work. You couldn't see them before. Give yourself a break. Self-beat has no place in healing. Give yourself that mothering or parental nurturing love that you so deserve. Sometimes it is not time to do the “work.” The work is nurturing, regulating, and resourcing ourselves.   Christine wants to hear from you! She is considering making some changes to the show, and she wants your feedback. Go to ChristineHassler.com/survey to answer a few questions about the podcast, and if you include your name and email, you will be entered into a raffle to win a 30-minute coaching session with Christine.   Consider/Ask Yourself: Have you recently gone through loss and grief that have triggered other loss or grief? Are you in a phase of overwhelm by how much you feel you have to process? Did you not have the childhood or the parent you deeply desired? Have you ignored red flags in relationships only now, in hindsight, they are clear as day?   Maria's Question: Maria has experienced a lot of loss recently and is looking for guidance on how to move through the grief.   Maria's Key Insights and Ahas: She feels emotionally malnourished. Her recent pregnancy and relationship losses are bringing up past grief. She feels unsafe and hyper-vigilant. She feels challenged to express herself or to be joyful. Her mother passed away three years ago. Her mother was emotionally unavailable and detached. She feels overwhelmed, and her sense of self is out of balance. Memories of her childhood feelings are surfacing and mixing with her grief. She wanted intimacy from her mother and her relationships. She longs for connection. She did not have the ability to discern red flags. She is consciously single now. She is a doula who has a deep connection to motherhood.   How to Get Over It and On With It: Have compassion and awareness for the season of life she is in now. Know that her soul baby is holding space for her to be ready for a beautiful, healthy relationship. Give herself the love and the nurturing she wanted from her parents. Allow herself to be resourced.   Sponsor: Caraway Cookware — Caraway products are toxicity-free, beautiful, and easy to clean and use. The cookware and bakeware sets have a chemical-free slick coating. The new stainless steel cookware set is a must-have. To take advantage of a limited-time offer for listeners of this podcast, go to CarawayHome.com/Overit or use the promo code OVERIT at checkout. Get a discount on a stylish gift for your home or friends and family for the holidays.   Resources: Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

This coaching call is about breaking the childhood patterns that show up in relationships. Today's caller, Oliver, struggles to embody his power and set boundaries when he is triggered in relationships. He asks for guidance on how to break and grow beyond survival patterns.   [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode426].   Many of us can relate to being our current age but in certain situations, we act in a way that is sabotaging, embarrassing, or doesn't get us what we want. Why do we act like this? Because there is often inner child wounding and programming at play.   Survival patterns are tricky to change and they can hang on for a long time because a large portion of them are subconscious. Often, we have to duplicate our parental family of origin situation to wake up and transform our survival patterns. It is a necessary part of evolution. It doesn't matter how much awareness we have, we have to walk through a situation to heal it.   It is hard work and often thankless work when we are the pattern breakers in our family. If we don't have role models at home, we have to add in new programming. Watching movies, reading books, writing it out, or spending time with others to gain examples of what healthy relationships look like is important.   There are things we heal, and then there are some things that take a bit more time. The evolution, the moving out of fear, judgment, beliefs, and pain into love, is ongoing. The next time you feel that you have dealt with something before, or have awareness about something, get more curious about it.   The work is never done. We are always learning and growing.   Christine wants to hear from you! She is considering making some changes to the show, and she wants your feedback. Go to ChristineHassler.com/survey to answer a few questions about the podcast, and if you include your name and email you will be entered in a raffle to win a 30 min. coaching session with Christine.   Consider/Ask Yourself: Do you notice you have patterns in relationships that you don't like and want to change? When you were growing up, did you have healthy relationships modeled for you? When you were growing up, did you have healthy parents or a healthy parent that raised you? Are you someone that has done a lot of work and you know a lot of things, but you wish things were changing a little more?   Oliver's Question: Oliver struggles with a recurring pattern of sabotaging his relationships.   Oliver's Key Insights and Ahas: He is a recently divorced, single parent of two small children. He is aware his pattern came from his mother. His ex triggers his pattern and he freezes when confronted. He gives his power away when confronted. A portion of his development was stunted. His mother was diagnosed as borderline and unpredictable. He has done some inner child work but still has blind spots. He is a therapist. His feelings and emotions have been surfacing since his divorce. He feels he holds power and has clear boundaries in other areas of his life. His father is a public figure in his home country. His mother physically beat the children. He wanted his father to protect him against his mother. It is difficult for him to show anger. He can get stuck in self-analysis. He is a generational pattern breaker.   How to Get Over It and On With It: Drop any expectation that this pattern is simple to change. Center himself and reassure his inner child that he has matured and can take care of himself now. Discover and write out what masculinity means to him and what healthy masculinity looks like in a relationship. Get between his inner child and women with tendencies like his mother and separate himself from his inner child. Tap into his protective “papa bear” energy and unleash his anger. Listen to the Coaches Corner: Internal Family Systems podcast with Dr. Richard Schwartz.   Sponsor: Caraway Cookware — Caraway products are toxicity-free, beautiful, and easy to clean and use. The cookware and bakeware sets have a chemical-free slick coating. The new stainless steel cookware set is a must-have. To take advantage of a limited-time offer for listeners of this podcast, go to CarawayHome.com/Overit or use the promo code OVERIT at checkout. Get a discount on a stylish gift for your home or friends and family for the holidays.   Resources: Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

This coaching call is about understanding the reason we may be doubting a relationship. Today's caller, Sammie, has doubts about her relationship and is wondering if she should stay in it. Christine guides her to change her perception and look at the situation differently.   [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode425].   There are many people who would be better off by leaving relationships or situations, but they decide to stay. They only stick around because the devil they know is often better than the devil they don't. They feel there is no risk in staying in the relationship because it is familiar.   Then, there are those who probably “should” hang in there a while longer, or stick it out to see what happens, but they run sooner.   We need to work on switching those things around so that when we know something is toxic or not for us, we can make a conscious decision to leave. Or, when we are not totally sure, we see some great things about a relationship, but there is also a part of us that wants to run because the intimacy feels scary. But that is the point in a relationship when it could offer us great learning and healing if we could just stick it out.   Is your pattern to stick it out too long or to run too soon? If you are sticking it out too long, maybe it is time to go. If you are running too soon, maybe it is time to stay. Be honest with yourself when you are looking for a reason to get out of a relationship.   Christine is considering making some changes to the show and she wants your feedback. Go to ChristineHassler.com/survey to answer questions about the podcast and if you include your name and email you will be entered in a raffle to win a 30 min. coaching session with Christine!   Consider/Ask Yourself: Are you in a situation, relationship, or friendship, and you are questioning whether you are in it for the “right” reasons? Are you in a friendship or relationship and think you should end it because you don't want to lead the person on or you don't want to hurt feelings? Do you relate to having an avoidant attachment style? Are you the person in a relationship that when it gets too intimate or too close, you start to pull back? Do you have a deep insecurity about something in your life and think you have to settle because of it?   Sammie's Question: Sammie questions if her current relationship is right for her based on her boyfriend's physical disability.   Sammie's Key Insights and Ahas: She feels safe in her current relationship and believes it is a healthy one. She questions how her boyfriend's spinal cord injury will impact their future together. She is unsure if the relationship will lead her into a caretaker role. She does not have prior experience to guide her through her uncertainty. She is hopeful about the future of the relationship. She admires the relationship her boyfriend has with his ex. She joined a support group for people in relationships with people who have spinal cord injuries. She is asking legitimate questions. She becomes critical in relationships. She has never had a relationship with this level of stability. She doesn't believe she could have attracted someone so healthy. She has a fearful-avoidant attachment style. She is insecure about where she is in her life.   How to Get Over It and On With It: Be 100% honest with her boyfriend. Practice self-acceptance. Lean into the invitation to love and intimacy.   Resources: Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

This coaching call is about reframing a situation to help make a change. Today's caller, Lori, is settling and staying in a situation that isn't what she wants, deserves, or values, out of fear of making a change. Christine offers guidance about how she can raise the bar, work through old patterns, and have the life she deserves.   [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode424].   Part of breaking a pattern and stepping into worthiness is not perceiving something as uprooting, or upheaval but as raising the bar of what we will tolerate in life.   As children, we didn't have the choice to choose for ourselves. So, trauma sits in our nervous system because we were never allowed to feel our feelings in a safe and compassionate way. The trauma is never expressed so it gets locked in and begins to form a pattern. We can't heal something till it's in our face and we can give ourselves the love, compassion, patience, and support that we didn't have as a child.   Breaking a pattern isn't just about making a change, it is about how we are with ourselves while we are making the change. The best way to learn and change a pattern is when we are smack dab in the middle of it but with a coach, or someone to help us break the pattern.   If you are in a situation where you are settling and you want to make a change and it seems daunting, reframe how you are looking at the situation. If you see the situation as Mt. Everest, it will seem like it is hard to overcome. But, look at the issue as a way to increase your life satisfaction, rather than settling for a life that is based on your patterning. It may be difficult to make the change, but perceptions and beliefs about anything dramatically influence how we experience it.   Are you ready to be coached by Christine? If you are, there are three one-on-one coaching opportunities available now. Go to ChristineHassler.com and click on the coaching tab or email Jill@ChristineHassler.com for more information.   Consider/Ask Yourself: Are you in a situation that isn't ideal, maybe even unhealthy, but the devil you know is worse than the one you don't? When it comes to relationships, do you have trouble speaking your voice? When it comes to making a change do you generally feel that it's going to be hard and have trouble getting motivated or inspired to make the change? Do you see yourself as a failure and shame yourself because things haven't worked out and you compare yourself to other people who you deem or judge as successful?   Lori's Question: Lori recently discovered her partner was sending flirty messages to another woman and is unsure what to do about it.   Lori's Key Insights and Ahas: She recently bought a house with her partner of two years. She found flirty text messages on her partner's phone to another woman. Her intuition is sending her messages. She has trouble finding her voice to confront him about the texts. Her partner was defensive and didn't really acknowledge her pain. It drains her to think about dismantling the relationship. She feels like a failure. She compares herself to others. She doesn't want to be in the relationship any longer. She fears uprooting her life. She doesn't feel safe communicating in her relationship. She doesn't have compassion for her inner child when she sees herself as a failure. She has an abandonment wound.   How to Get Over It and On With It: Know she doesn't have to do it alone. Speak with a coach or therapist. Be gentle and compassionate with herself while she goes through the process of changing her patterns. Recognize she is healing a deep father wound. Raise the bar on what she is able to accept for herself.   Sponsor: Caraway Cookware — Caraway products are toxicity-free, beautiful, and easy to clean and use. The cookware and bakeware sets have a chemical-free slick coating. The new stainless steel cookware set is a must-have. Go to CarawayHome.com/Overit to take advantage of the limited-time offer of 10% off on your next purchase or by using the promo code OVERIT at checkout.   Resources: Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.  

This coaching call is about old triggers in new situations. Today's caller, Manpreet, is dating someone new and would like guidance on how to keep old triggers out of her new relationship. She has done healing work and is drawing what she wants into her life, but is frustrated when old patterns reemerge.   [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode423].   When women suffer abuse at the hands of, for this example, men, we can project on all men that they're scary. Women can feel scared to trust men because one man or several men hurt them. So, we want to separate the behavior from the gender, from the person, from the way they look, and know that it was someone else's behavior and not all men behave like that.   Because there has to be a disconnection, or disassociation from our sexuality in order for us to survive abuse, we often open up physically or emotionally to people before we are ready as a way to get power over the situation.   As adults, we have the gift of being able to ask ourselves what we couldn't do or say when we were little that we can do or say now. We can speak up. We can get out of a situation, we can fight back. We can take our power back.   Also, when we share vulnerability too soon we may get hurt and it might not be received in the way that we want because there hasn't been enough rapport, trust, or time there. So in new relationships, or friendships especially intimate relationships, a lot can be triggered. That's why it is so helpful to have a professional or trusted friend to bounce things off of and get some perspective. Then we can come into new relationships with honesty and the knowing that vulnerability comes later. It gives a relationship more of a chance.   Consider/Ask Yourself: When something new comes into your life, do you sabotage it because old stuff comes up? Did you grow up not feeling safe, specifically if you are female do you not feel safe around men? Have you done the vulnerability vomit thing too early in a friendship or romantic relationship and it has backfired? Do you feel that you can truly ask for what you need and that you are lovable?   Manpreet's Question: Manpreet would like to be more in her goddess energy and learn to be more open to receiving more in relationships.   Manpreet's Key Insights and Ahas: Men often show physical interest in her immediately. She has drawn in someone who treats her with respect. She overshares her insecurities with new people quickly. The man she is interested in says he will walk away if she continues to worry about where the relationship is headed. She panics in fear when thinking about whether he will accept her. She finds it easier to use physical manipulation to get what she wants. She attended the Be the Queen program. She feels that masculine, or men have the power and she has no control over situations. She was abused by male family members. She projects her abusive uncle's behavior onto other men. She can speak up for what she wants now. Deep down her fear is about whether she is lovable. She is scared because someone wants to see her for who she really is. She wonders if she is good enough. The healing work she is doing is drawing in things she wants for herself. She wants to have conversations from an empowered place, not a wounded place. She knows her worth isn't tied to anyone but herself.   How to Get Over It and On With It: Bring herself into the present moment to separate behaviors from gender. Ask herself what she couldn't say, be, or do when she was a little girl that she can be, say, or do now. Talk with her coach about her feelings and how to process them. Send voicemails or texts to herself, or a trusted friend first to get some perspective.   Sponsor: Air Doctor — is an air filter and air purifier that creates the healthiest environment in your home. It filters out dangerous contaminants and allergens with an ultra HEPA filter that removes 99.99% of tested bacteria and viruses. If you want to order an Air Doctor today with a 30-day money-back guarantee, go to AirDoctorPro.com and use promo code “Overit” and get up to 39% or $300 off on selected models. My podcast listeners get a free 3-year warranty on any unit.   Resources: Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

This coaching call is about making sense of our intuition. Today's caller, Michaela, wants to drop fully into what she is feeling but is unsure whether her intuition is just a fear-based response to her past. She asks Christine for guidance on how to decipher her feelings and how to trust her intuition.   [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode422].   We all have the gift of intuition to varying degrees. Some people, who have more gifts, we might refer to as psychics or mediums. But we all have the gift and the ability to connect to our intuition. And often, when we open up our connection to our intuition, it can be confusing. We may get intuitive messages and not know exactly what to do with them.   The beautiful thing about surrender or letting go is that it does allow for what actually needs to come forward to happen. Surrendering and receiving can feel scary because we have to be still. When we're not in motion, either mentally or physically, and stillness comes, it often can trigger a fear response. Because if you grew up with any kind of abuse or chaos you know that when things got quiet, or still it wasn't always a good sign; the calm before the storm.   So, we keep ourselves moving to both avoid chaos and to avoid the feelings. Many of us have wounds and trauma that we've been carrying around for decades and if we keep ourselves busy and distracted enough then we don't have to feel the pain. If we do surrender and allow ourselves to receive, then there's an invitation to feel. And, often it isn't the party we want to attend.   The beautiful thing about inner child work is that we have all these beautiful parts of us that come alive again and they become a great source of love.   Consider/Ask Yourself: Do you feel like your intuition is telling you something and you're not exactly sure what it means or what to do with it? Have you had a life of lots of doing and you feel this huge desire to just be, but at the same time it terrifies you? Are you someone that is good at receiving or are you better at giving? Are you willing to carve the time out for yourself and change behaviors to connect more deeply with your inner child so that you can feel safe in your body?   Michaela's Question: Michaela is being pulled to listen to her intuition but is confused about whether the message is coming from her intuition or is a fear-based response.   Michaela's Key Insights and Ahas: She is an imposter syndrome and transformational coach. She left the corporate world after 25 years. She is feeling pulled to stop doing and to listen to her intuition. She is strongly spiritual. She has a global network of people as clients. She invests money in personal development work. She suffered from imposter syndrome in the past. Her family pretended everything was okay, no matter what was happening. She feels coaching is her calling. She's been married for 25 years. She has a hidden life and doesn't feel safe. She had traumatic experiences in her childhood. She sometimes wants to disappear. She recently uncoupled from an intimate connection. She is searching for parental safety. She wants to feel supported and loved. She finds it difficult to receive. She doesn't understand how people love her.   How to Get Over It and On With It: Delve deeply into healing inner child work. Let go of her distractions to integrate the fragmented pieces of herself. Trust her intuition and be curious about the messages. Be curious and allow people's love for her to model how to love her inner child. Take action in response to her internal messaging rather than taking action to avoid her feelings.   Sponsor: Caraway Cookware — Caraway products are toxicity-free, beautiful, and easy to clean and use. The cookware and bakeware sets have a chemical-free slick coating. Go to CarawayHome.com/Overit to take advantage of the limited-time offer of 10% off on your next purchase or by using the promo code OVERIT at checkout.   Resources: Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.  

This coaching call is about overcoming the fear of stepping out of our comfort zones. Today's caller, Alana, has always played it safe by never stepping out of her comfort zone. She asks Christine for guidance about how to overcome the fear of taking the risks necessary to move into the life she wants.   [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode421].   It can be scary to move out of what is familiar. Our risk tolerance in our early 20s is much different than when we are older. When we have lived a little more life, we have seen enough to know that regret is far worse than risk. We can't get time back and regret is very painful to live with.   We can recover from most risks, especially social media posts, going after clients, and putting ourselves “out there.” Some people may judge, or some people may not like it but we can recover from that. To be coming to the end of life and wondering why we didn't go after what we wanted is far more painful than taking a risk and maybe having a few people say something not so nice. We're not living our lives if we're only doing things that we think will not be judged by other people.   When we move into a different career, especially the personal growth industry, there may be people who judge us. Let them. It's okay. When we start looking at our own stuff, start speaking our truth, and start healing generational trauma, a lot of people judge us because their subconscious doesn't want to look at their stuff. Instead of them taking personal responsibility and dealing with their stuff they choose to judge others. It is their defense strategy. The biggest thing to remember is not to take it personally. Allow your inner voice and the voices of the people who love and support you to be the voices you pay attention to.   Consider/Ask Yourself: Are you a coach who wants to start a coaching practice but you're playing it safe despite your training, skills, and passion? Have you had challenges in life that reinforce your desire to stay in your safety zone? Are you willing to start making some bigger changes and start taking some risks? Do you deal with imposter syndrome and would you like to let it go for good?   Alana's Question: Alana fears uncharted territory and would like guidance on how to transition from a structured career path into a less structured entrepreneurial coaching business.   Alana's Key Insights and Ahas: She has worked in a structured career. She is a certified life coach. She finds it difficult to put herself out there. She suffers from imposter syndrome. She fears asking for payment for her services. She believes she can get clients. She fears she will change as a person. Her mother passed away unexpectedly. She lost a pregnancy. She is comfortable with playing it safe. She is hesitant to move forward into unfamiliar territory. She has relied on external validation. She wants to move into curiosity. She is committed to reaching out to clients.   How to Get Over It and On With It: Shift the way she looks at safety. Reassure herself that safety is internally resourced. Honor her inner voice. Remind herself that just because something is unfamiliar doesn't mean it is unsafe.   Takeaway: Stop letting the fear of what other people think stop you from going after what you want. Push out of what is safe. If you only live in what is safe, you will never really live.   Resources: Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

This coaching call is about being in a similar pattern when it comes to dating and relationships. Today's caller, Trish, longs for a committed relationship but doesn't understand why she has a pattern of choosing emotionally unavailable people. She asks for guidance on how to choose the right person.   [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode420].   So many of our relationship challenges come from our parental issues from our childhood. Not all of them, but a lot of them. As children, we want to be loved, feel safe, and validated by our parents.   When we have a parent whom we don't get everything we want, or need from, we settle for the best they can do, even though it's not fully what we want. We often end up not being empowered in relationships. Because there's still that little inner child part of us who believes that we should just take what we can get. But, every soul seeks to evolve.   Evolution is moving away from judgment, away from limiting beliefs, and into love. The only way we can move away from judgment and limiting beliefs is to have them right in our face so that they're painful enough for us to look at. Isn't life wonderful the way it works? So often the relationships we draw in are triggers and activators to look at the stuff from our childhood that we haven't fully healed.   Consider/Ask Yourself: Are you someone who maybe has been married or has been in many relationships and you find yourself with the same outcome? Did you grow up feeling like you wanted more from both or one of your parents and you never really got everything you wanted? Are you grieving a recent breakup and blaming yourself or wondering what you did wrong? Are you constantly working on yourself to try to attract a better relationship?   Trish's Question: Trish is frustrated that she chooses men who are emotionally unavailable or incapable of choosing or loving her.   Trish's Key Insights and Ahas: She's done personal development work. Her parents divorced when she was one year old. She didn't feel her father's love. She didn't spend time with her father. She knows she has a lot to offer a partner. The men she chooses don't recognize her value. She can be guarded in relationships. She longs for a committed relationship. She doesn't date a lot. She doesn't want to be alone. She doesn't show up empowered in the early stages of intimate relationships. She doesn't want to get hurt. She ignores red or yellow flags early in relationships. In her last relationship, she believed their core values were aligned. She knows it is not her job to be a man's savior.   How to Get Over It and On With It: Drop the belief that she has a bad picker. Have clear conversations about what she wants early in a relationship. Empower herself by not being a victim of her circumstances. Give herself the time and space to heal.   Takeaway: What choices and what states of being can you embody to step into empowerment?   Sponsor: Caraway Cookware — Caraway products are toxicity-free, beautiful, and easy to clean and use. The cookware and bakeware sets have a chemical-free slick coating. Go to CarawayHome.com/Overit to take advantage of the limited-time offer of 10% off on your next purchase or by using the promo code OVERIT at checkout.   Resources: Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.  

This coaching call is about the motherhood transition and finding your identity. Today's caller, Julia, has children leaving the nest. She is unsure what comes next for her. She asks Christine for guidance about what she can do to discover who she is.   [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode419].   The earlier in life we have children the less time we have to work on our own inner child. Part of why we hang on to moments with our kids is because our inner child may not have had it. The more we have a connection to our own inner child and our sense of play and magic the less we need children around us to give us that. So much of what mothers miss from children is the sense of unconditional love and joy.   One of the things our culture is not great with is grief and letting it be okay that we are grieving. And, when we don't complete a cycle with ritual and intention it still lingers. A part of us is always in the past. We always have nostalgia and it makes it harder to step into our next phase.   Often, we try to redo our childhood through parenthood. We're trying to give our children the life that we didn't have and it is beautiful that we want to do better. But what can happen is we become so involved in our child's life and become so immersed in parenthood, particularly motherhood, that we neglect our own inner child.   It's a delicate balance to mother others while mothering ourselves. Remember not to neglect your inner child by putting everything you have into your children. It is important we parent our inner child as well.   Consider/Ask Yourself: Are you at an age in life where you are trying to get excited about the next chapter but are having a hard time doing it? Are you going through any kind of transition and you find it bittersweet? Have you questioned your identity, not just from moving from motherhood to being an empty-nester? Have you avoided dealing with your childhood by being a great parent or having a great life as an adult and you know it's time to deal with your childhood?   Julia's Question: Julia feels she is in a phase in life where she doesn't know what comes next for her. She asks for guidance about how to rediscover herself.   Julia's Key Insights and Ahas: She just sent her oldest off to college. She has one child still at home. She doesn't want this motherhood phase to be over. She worked and traveled before she had children. She may not know herself as an adult woman. She feels that possibly her best years have passed. She is considering joining the Signature Retreat. She wishes more people spoke about this motherhood transition. She teaches Pilates. She feels like she needs to get busy doing something. She is grieving her childhood. Her childhood was chaotic.   How to Get Over It and On With It: Recognize the things about motherhood that she won't miss. Find ways to enjoy today. Join the Signature Retreat. Take the opportunity to relax into her feminine energy. Consider who she wants to be and what she wants to leave behind. Take the space to nurture and heal her inner child.   Sponsor: Aquatru — purifies water using a four-stage reverse osmosis process. The countertop purifiers remove 15 times more contaminants than ordinary pitcher filters plus the water tastes fantastic. Their long-lasting and affordable filters are independently tested and certified to NSF standards to remove over 80% of the most harmful contaminants. Go to Aquatru.com and enter OVERIT at checkout to get 20% off any water purifier.   Resources: Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

The essence of this coaching call is about healing a relationship with adult children. Today's caller, Gail, is dealing with estrangement by her children since her marriage to their father broke up and her ex-husband passed away. She asks for guidance on how to find joy during a new chapter in her life and how she can reconnect with her children.   [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode418].   If you walk on eggshells, tiptoe around, or try to protect everyone else's feelings, ask yourself if that is the most loving thing to do. Sometimes love can be messy and truth can be messy but walking on eggshells, pretending, and being a chameleon is not love.   Children need to know that their parents will fight for them and risk them being mad or pushing them away to have a relationship with them.   Consider/Ask Yourself: Do you have any children that you're estranged from or that you have a rocky relationship with and would like to repair it? “Should” you be excited about things in your life but you're having a hard time accessing joy?  Do you ever feel like you want to tell the truth about something but you can't because you're protecting someone else?   Gail's Question: Gail asks for guidance in getting back to joy while suffering from grief.   Gail's Key Insights and Ahas: Her husband died after three months of them separating. It's been five years since her husband's death. She believes her adult children are suffering. She feels numb. She completed the Over It and On With It online course. She is engaged to be married. She is slowly rebuilding her relationship with her four children. She fears her new relationship could jeopardize her relationship with her children. She wants to respect her children's wants but it feels unjust to her. There is a religious component to the family disruption. She takes intentional steps to rekindle her family relationship. She has an internal dilemma about being a mother and a woman. She doesn't trust her intuition.   How to Get Over It and On With It: Write each of her children a letter sharing her feelings. Become the leader of her family and tell her children the truth. Get guidance from a family therapist. She deserves joy and happiness.   Sponsor: Caraway Cookware — Caraway products are toxicity-free, beautiful, and easy to clean and use. The cookware and bakeware sets have a chemical-free slick coating. Go to CarawayHome.com/Overit to take advantage of the limited-time offer of 10% off on your next purchase or by using the promo code OVERIT at checkout.   Resources: Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

The essence of this coaching call is about our protective patterns manifesting as nervous habits. Today's caller, Jessica, picks her skin. She would like guidance about understanding her nervous habit and how to stop it. Christine sheds some light on why these kinds of habits exist and why wanting to get rid of them or making them wrong is exactly what not to do.   [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode417].   The origin of our nervous habits is a tender, scared, powerless part of us. When pain is inflicted upon us, either emotional, physical, sexual, or mental pain, and everything feels out of control, our ability to cause ourselves pain and being the one controlling the pain gives us a sense of power.   When we are in overwhelm of any kind, we can use our nervous habit as a soothing strategy. It sort of shuts down everything else and brings our focus to the habit so we don't have to feel other things. We use it as a sense of control, as well as a soothing strategy. It is a useful strategy our subconscious creates to help us manage our pain.   Remember, our inner protector is protecting a very scared child who felt powerless and had pain inflicted on them. When we feel the urge to apply our protective strategies, AKA act out our nervous habits, the last thing we want to do is try to force them to go away because they will just try to do their job even stronger. We need to make a conscious effort to be aware of our habits and not judge or shame ourselves for them.   My upcoming Signature Retreat is almost upon us. To get a unique sneak peek of what to expect during the retreat, I am having a Grad Panel on September 6th. To attend or for a recording of the panel go to Christine.Hassler.com/panel or assist@christinehassler.com. For a nurturing self-care experience, join like-minded women from October 13‒15 in San Diego, CA. And, to apply for a partial scholarship go to ChristineHassler.com/scholarship. The course is almost full.   Consider/Ask Yourself: Do you have any nervous habits like skin-picking, nail-biting, pulling apart split ends, etc.? Did you have pain inflicted upon you as a child and you felt you had no control? Do you notice nervous habits emerge even in situations where you should feel safe? Do you try to stop a habit by shaming yourself or making it wrong and you aren't getting anywhere?   Jessica's Question: Jessica asks for guidance on how to break her nervous habit of skin-picking.   Jessica's Key Insights and Ahas: Her skin picking interferes with her being fully present. She feels anxious when she picks her skin. She is a high achiever. She finds it difficult to break her habit. Her habit soothes her. Pain was inflicted upon her which left her feeling powerless. She is in the early stages of pregnancy. She wished she had an emotionally present, nurturing mother. Her grandfather caused her distress as a child. She feels she has to put everyone else first.   How to Get Over It and On With It: Let go of the shame and judgment she has about her nervous habit. Have compassion for herself. Sign up for the Inner Child Workshop. Get herself into the present moment as much as possible. If she has the urge to pick, go ahead and pick but do it consciously. Take care not to go into the martyr-mother role.   Takeaways: If you have a nervous habit let go of your shame and judgment around it. Be patient and gentle with yourself and nourish your inner child.   Sponsor: Air Doctor — is an air filter and air purifier that creates the healthiest environment in your home. It filters out dangerous contaminants and allergens with an ultra HEPA filter that removes 99.99% of tested bacteria and viruses. If you want to order an Air Doctor today with a 30-day money-back guarantee, go to AirDoctorPro.com and use promo code “Overit” and get up to 39% or $300 off on selected models.   Resources: Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

The essence of this coaching call is what causes inspirational blocks and the unhealthy ways we try to motivate ourselves. Today's caller, Jo, is asking for guidance about how to tap into her inspiration. The pandemic impacted her nervous system and left her lacking the motivation to live into her purpose.   [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode416].   Often, what inspires us is the stuff that makes us mad. It doesn't mean we need to come out with anger at people. We need to move through the anger to find the fire and the passion that lies underneath. Then, we can step into the feminine power of discernment and discover our Warrior Woman. Which is a beautiful place to be. When we do this we allow ourselves to be pulled forward by a calling and a mission, versus looking for something external to motivate us.   Women, in general, are not great with our anger. It leaks out in certain ways but we are not great at tapping into our rage and anger and letting it out in a healthy way. This blocks us from our passion. And if we keep suppressing our emotions, rage, and anger we will feel depressed.   Plus, we tend to motivate ourselves by being hard on ourselves and looking at what we think is wrong and the changes we need to make. We believe if we make ourselves miserable enough then maybe we will be motivated to make a change. That is a strategy that doesn't work or only works for the short term. It allows our inner critic to run the show and we burn ourselves out.   When we realize we are not doing anything wrong and that we are living our purpose because we are learning, growing, healing, and raising our consciousness, it releases the feeling of failure.   If you resonate with this podcast and Christine's style of coaching, Elementum Coaching Institute is the coaching certification program for you. Even if you are not a coach, and want a personal transformation program to give you coaching skills you can use with your employees or peers, in relationships, or with children, you are encouraged to apply at ElementumCoachingInstitute.com. Enrollment closes September 1, 2023, and the course begins September 14th. This is the final course for 2023‒2024.   Consider/Ask Yourself: Are you feeling a lack of inspiration? Do you feel you had a setback during the pandemic and you haven't been able to come back from it? Do you want to feel like you're making an impact, that you matter, and what you're doing in the world matters? Are you someone who benefits from connection with other people? Are you an extrovert who isn't connecting with people enough?   Jo's Question: Jo is asking about how to find inspiration and motivation for herself and her business in the here and now.   Jo's Key Insights and Ahas: She gave up her teaching job to write a novel and build a coaching business. She moved in with her parents. The pandemic impacted her nervous system. She has difficulty spending a lot of time by herself. She wants to do something meaningful. She gets overwhelmed with business tasks. She is trying to motivate herself by being hard on herself. She wants to be inspired by life. She has finished her novel. She signed a lease on an office. She is an extrovert. She lived with depression for a long time. She longs for freedom, transparency, and truth. She sees her anger as a negative. She started her business after she found self-compassion. She is joining Elementum Coaching.   How to Get Over It and On With It: When she feels trapped in the moment, consider what choices are available to her. Put herself out there to get connection and support. Tap into the fire beneath her anger and be motivated by her deep desire. Start using her voice again. Join the upcoming Signature Retreat, read Expectation Hangover, or visit ChristineHassler.com/angerrelease.   Takeaways: Consider — Is there a part of you that wants to be free and believes that if you do what you want bad things will happen? Get to know your anger, feel it, and understand it.   Resources: Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

This coaching call is about the difference between masculine energy and hypervigilance. Today's caller, Jo, has been caring for her husband after a debilitating accident. She believes she is functioning only in her masculine energy and would like some balance, but her actions may be coming from a response to trauma she hasn't fully processed. Christine offers guidance.   [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode415].   There is an unconscious, and sometimes conscious, expectation that masculine energy is supposed to be strong and be able to hold us. But, what masculine energy truly is, is taking initiative, moving in a linear way, being present, and holding for things. It is making quick decisions about things and being productive in certain ways.   Healthy masculine energy is NOT about being so busy and doing everything for everyone that we are depleted completely — That's being hyper-vigilant. Hypervigilance is a response to trauma that makes us feel out of control. Because no one chooses trauma. It is completely out of our control. When we are hypervigilant, we are looking for a way to feel in control again. We think if we do and control everything, we can prevent expectation hangovers or more trauma.   If you're trying to shift more into your feminine energy when you're in hypervigilance, good luck because in order for you to shift into your feminine energy, you have to feel safe and if you are in hypervigilance, you do not feel safe.   My upcoming Signature Retreat is for women who are ready to let go of their limiting beliefs. For a nurturing self-care experience, join like-minded women from October 13‒15 in San Diego, CA. To apply for a partial scholarship go to ChristineHassler.com/scholarship.   Consider/Ask Yourself: Has there been a drastic change in your life you haven't had time to process because you have had to go right into action? Do you often think you're in your masculine when you are truly in hypervigilance? Are you someone that is so used to doing, you often don't even know how to be? When it comes to surrender and accepting things, how are you with it? Can you let go or do you like to fight with reality?   Jo's Question: Jo is asking for guidance on how to prolong being in her feminine energy and relinquish her feelings of needing to be in control.   Jo's Key Insights and Ahas: Her husband was in a debilitating accident. She feels she shifted into her masculine after her husband's accident. She likes being in her feminine but feels pulled out of it too often. She wants to relieve her husband's pain. She does inner child work and meditation. She has a tendency to be a people pleaser. She has been a control freak in the past but wants to let go of it. She hasn't done trauma-release work. Her father was strict and unpredictable. She does everything for others. She questions her self-worth. She wants to cure her husband's pain. Her husband has accepted his physical condition. She is grieving and hasn't fully processed the incident.   How to Get Over It and On With It: Realize she is being hypervigilant, not in her masculine. Find a somatic and trauma-release-work therapist. Have compassion for herself. Release her anger and trauma. Recalibrate her nervous system. Have conversations with her husband about creating polarity in their relationship. Accept where her husband is in his healing process.   Takeaways: Are you in your masculine energy or being hypervigilant?   Sponsor: Milkify.me — is a concierge breast milk freeze-drying service for mothers who are breastfeeding or planning to breastfeed that transforms frozen milk into convenient pouches of powder that last for 3 years. To get $40 off your first order message @Milkify.me on Instagram or at Milkify.me and mention the code Christine.   Resources: Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

  This coaching call is about how patience and compassion without clarity can lead to resentment. Today's caller, Lucy, doesn't feel like a priority in her partner's life. She asks for guidance on whether the relationship is right for her or if there are too many red flags. Christine shares some skills that can help Lucy get what she wants from her relationship.   [For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode414].   Consciousness isn't just about talking about our wounding or holding space for someone when they cry. It's about taking action that's in integrity and alignment with who we say we are.   When we have a lot of emotional vulnerability or sexual intimacy and vulnerability with a man, we can mistake it for being in a conscious relationship. If you are in a dynamic where you're having a lot of emotional intimacy, but you don't have the consistency or the feeling of safety, it's not as conscious as you may think. What do you need to do to make a relationship more conscious? Bring accountability, responsibility, and agreements into it.   Consciousness is an aspect of sacred union, and in sacred union, there's a masculine and feminine. There is the being and the doing. We can't just swim around in the feminine being of vulnerability, processing, and emotional intimacy without the masculine of doing, showing up, and having structure. We need both, otherwise, our inner child doesn't feel safe.   My upcoming Signature Retreat is for women who are ready to let go of their limiting beliefs. For a nurturing self-care experience, join like-minded women from October 13‒15 in San Diego, CA. To apply for a partial scholarship go to ChristineHassler.com/scholarship.   Consider/Ask Yourself: Are you in a relationship, whether it will be romantic or otherwise, that you're doubting or you don't have clarity about? Are you someone who has trouble asking for what you need so you ask for it in a vague, safe way? Do you not feel like a priority in a relationship, or as a child? Are you doubting yourself? Are you feeling some nudges and doubts about something but you're doubting your doubts?   Lucy's Question: Lucy feels stuck when trying to discern the difference between what is a red flag and what is her intuition in a new relationship.   Lucy's Key Insights and Ahas: She feels that this new relationship is her first adult relationship. She has a hard time trusting herself. Her mother didn't trust her. She and her partner are in the process of defining their relationship. She wants to know if the relationship is right for her. She doesn't feel like a priority to her partner. She appreciates certainty and consistency. Her partner has full custody of his two children. Her partner doesn't make plans with her but asks for dates with little notice. As a child, she longed for her mother's attention. She is still learning about herself and her patterns in relationship.   How to Get Over It and On With It: Propose a schedule to her partner and re-negotiate if needed. Get specific about what she needs from the relationship.   Takeaways: Where do you need to have more masculine energy in your relationships? Where do you need to make clear agreements so you can feel safe?   Resources: Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

This coaching call is about surrender and keeping hope. Today's caller, Eva, is ready to give up hope and accept that she may never get pregnant. But her intuition is telling her that one day she will be a mother. She asks Christine for guidance and clarity about how to shift into acceptance and let go of her desire to have a baby.   [For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode413].   Our drive and yearning to have a child can be due to our wanting to make our own childhood different. It is a reason why the desire to have a child can be so strong. There is an attachment to wanting to have a biological child that causes a degree of stress inside our system and it can make it harder for the body to get pregnant.   The body will relax when we surrender. But how do we surrender but not give up hope? Resignation is giving up and feeling that you don't care about what happens. Surrender is more of a letting-go energy. Just handing it over to a higher power, handing it over to a source, handing it over to God, and keeping that longing and desire in your heart.   Oftentimes, our “soul babies” want a certain kind of clearing of generational patterns before they come in. And, our bodies strive to be healthy before they carry a baby.   My upcoming Signature Retreat is for women who are ready to let go of their limiting beliefs. For a nurturing self-care experience join like-minded women from October 13‒15 in San Diego, CA. To apply for a partial scholarship go to ChristineHassler.com/signatureretreat.   Consider/Ask Yourself: Have you been wanting something for a long time and you keep trying but it's not happening? Have you decided to surrender, but still have some hope and it leads to an expectation hangover? Were you able to fully relax and surrender as a child? As a coping strategy, are you a planner? Does controlling and planning everything help you to feel safe?   Eva's Question: Eva has been trying to have a child and has not yet gotten pregnant. Her intuition tells her she will one day have a child. She is looking for guidance about how to reduce her monthly expectation hangovers.   Eva's Key Insights and Ahas: She used fertility drugs to try to get pregnant. She grieved the idea of being childless. Her gut tells her that one day she will become pregnant and be a mother. She doesn't want to have an expectation hangover every month when she menstruates. Her planning and control is a trauma response. She believes she needs to mother herself better. Her mother was emotionally volatile. Her mood as a child was based on the mood of her mother. Her nervous system is dysregulated. Her inner child wants to be held.   How to Get Over It and On With It: Surrender and let go of the attachment to having a biological child but stay open to the idea. Rediscover her true essence. Know that it is not her fault for not getting pregnant. Give herself the childhood, and love she deserves, but never had. Begin the Inner Child Workshop.   Sponsor: Caraway Cookware — Caraway products are toxicity-free, beautiful, easy to clean and use. The cookware and bakeware sets have a naturally slick ceramic surface. Go to CarawayHome.com/Overit to take advantage of the limited-time offer of 10% off on your next purchase by using the promo code OVERIT at checkout.   Resources: Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

This coaching call is about embracing our mother energy. Today's caller, Davina, is a life coach struggling to attract her ideal clients. She was told that she may fear being seen, but it didn't entirely resonate with her. During the session, she discovers that it is an inner-child wound impacting her efforts.   [For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode412].   When we have blocks, when imposter syndrome comes up, or we are not attracting what we want, we can believe it is a fear of being seen. And while that may be true in many ways — many of us do have a fear of being seen and being vulnerable, but that is not always what it is. There may be something deeper that is more accurate.   There are inner-child, super-subconscious wounds and operating systems we develop when we are young impact our lives in various ways that we are not aware of. Whenever our reaction to something doesn't match the circumstance in terms of severity, our inner child is triggered.   For anyone, especially coaches, sometimes we think we need to have great answers all the time, but if we can just hold a space of love and compassion for people in our life, that is often more powerful than any piece of advice or aha moment we can create. Often, someone feeling not-judged is the biggest aha moment they can possibly have.   At Elementum Coaching Institute, we train epic coaches. If you resonate with this podcast and Christine's style of coaching, this is the coaching certification program for you. Even if you are not a coach, and want a personal transformation program to give you coaching skills you can use with your employees or peers, in relationships, or with children you are encouraged to apply at ElementumCoachingInstitute.com. Enrollment closes September 1, 2023, and the course begins September 14th.   Consider/Ask Yourself: Do you believe you have a fear of being seen or is it hard to put yourself out there? Are you a coach and you are having difficulty attracting the exact kind of clients you want? Do you have a childhood that involves some kind of abandonment or not a feeling really chosen by a parent? Do you get angry, frustrated, or annoyed when people copy you?   Davina's Question: Davina is struggling to attract her ideal clients and is asking for guidance about her messaging efforts.   Davina's Key Insights and Ahas: She is a life coach. She is annoyed by people who copy her. A coach told her she is afraid of being seen. Her mother abandoned her and started a different family. She had to share her mother's attention. She felt she has always had to do things on her own. She feels sad and angry. She grieves the loss of the relationship she had with her mother. Being vulnerable is uncomfortable for her. Her father wasn't emotionally available. She is vulnerable when she feels safe and supported. She takes a long time to open up to people.   How to Get Over It and On With It: Know that her anger and sadness are valid and that it needs to be expressed. Work with her inner child about her mother's leaving. Take the opportunity to be open and honest. Give herself as much time as she needs. Write down how she would coach others in a similar situation.   Resources: Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

This coaching call is about honoring yourself and another person by completing an unhealthy dynamic. Jade & Matthew both join this couple's session to ask Christine for guidance about where to go in their current relationship. If you are going through a relationship breakup or if it is time to end a relationship, this episode is valuable especially if there is wounding playing out in your relationship.   [For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode411].   One of the ways that we suffer most in relationship is thinking that our love will change someone. But, the opportunity to truly heal and step into their greatest potential is up to that person.   Oftentimes, coming together in relationship does help someone step into their fullest potential, but there's a caveat: they have to do it. They have to want it and it has to happen quickly. If you're in a relationship where it has been years of the other person going back to their old patterns, then you are in the cycle of them apologizing and feeling awful and you taking them back thinking things will be different. They are going to do their work and then something else happens but you see their little boy or little girl, and you love them, and this time was different and they're really doing the work, and they're seeing the counselor, but then they do it again. It's just a loop. I encourage you to choose you, to love you. They need to do their healing on their own.   Making the choice to end, or complete, an unhealthy dynamic to heal individually is a gift we give to the other person. When we trust love and truth it always gets us to where we want to go.   Consider/Ask Yourself: Are you an enabler or are you addicted to someone else enabling you? Do you tend to be a little codependent or a lot codependent in relationships? Do you know that you love someone so much but no matter how much you love them it's up to them to change? Are you feeling that it is time for a conscious uncoupling in your relationship?   Jade & Matthew's Question: Jade & Matthew ask for guidance about how best to heal themselves.   Jade & Matthew's Key Insights and Ahas: Matthew feels relieved. They separated after he returned from his travels. Matthew shared his shadows with Jade. Matthew became aware that he seeks validation from other women. Matthew will do inner child work via therapy. Jade believes it is best for them to not have contact while they are healing. Jade needs to see Matthew needs to love himself. Matthew wants Jade to be in his life because he feels a soul-level connection to her.   How to Get Over It and On With It: Have no contact with each other for one year so they can heal themselves. Use the sentence starters Christine gave them to journal about their feelings. Jade needs time alone and for Matthew to respect that. Take the opportunity to learn what healthy, mature love is.   Sponsor: Sensate — is an infrared resonance, calming device that when synchronized with sessions in the companion app works towards reducing stress, and improving well-being. It provides deep relaxation in 10‒30 minute sessions to tone the vagus nerve. For $30 off your purchase, go to GetSensate.com and use the promo code OVERIT.   Resources: Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

This coaching call is about when our childhood wounding is triggered by a child. Lorena feels she has a parenting blind spot when it comes to her relationship with one of her stepchildren. She would like guidance on how to be a better stepmom and how to respond rather than react when she is triggered.   [For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode410]   There are different blessings that go along with being a stepparent. But, in general, parenting can be hard. You can love a child so much but still get frustrated and triggered and then feel guilty about it. Understanding that we are human and we get triggered goes a long way.   Parenting is a spiritual practice. For these little beings that choose us, either as parents or step-parents, we have a soul contract. And, relationships and parenting are some of the biggest ways we evolve as humans.   With that said, we tend to reject people and behavior that reminds us of our wounded parts. We can have an ick factor towards it or them because we carry internal judgment and have self-protection mechanisms in place. It is much easier to love someone who doesn't share the same wounding.   When we are triggered, pausing and taking the time to regulate our nervous system allows us to be in the moment and respond to children, not from the viewpoint of our inner child, but as the adults we've become.   Consider/Ask Yourself: Did you ever feel rejected or neglected as a child? Did you want more nurturing and love? Do you have a child or a stepchild that you just don't connect to and it bothers you, and you feel guilty because you don't like being around that child as much as you do your other children? Are you committed to being a better parent both to yourself and your inner child and your child or children?   Lorena's Question: Lorena feels she has a blind spot in her relationship with her stepchild and is asking for guidance about building a better relationship.   Lorena's Key Insights and Ahas: She has been a stepmother since 2016. Her stepchild struggles with emotional regulation. She has a baby and two stepchildren. There may not have been an original mother/child bond in her stepchild's life. She doesn't want to be around her stepchild. She feels invaded and resents the extra effort it takes to nurture her stepchild. Her father was an alcoholic and made inappropriate requests of her. Her stepchildren are there 50% of the time. Her husband looks to her to be a mature stepparent. She beats herself up for her feelings toward her stepchild. She didn't get loving attention from her mother.   How to Get Over It and On With It: Tell her inner child that her father's care wasn't her responsibility. Accept that her stepchild is a trigger for her. Try seeing herself in her stepchild. Pause, take a deep breath, and say — I love you, and I got you — when triggered to regulate her nervous system. Do not underestimate what a nine-year-old can talk about. Get in alignment with her husband about her stepparenting.   Sponsor: Sensate — is an infrared resonance device that when synchronized with sessions in the companion app works towards reducing stress, and improving well-being. It provides deep relaxation in 10‒30 minute sessions to tone the vagus nerve. For $30 off your purchase, go to GetSensate.com and use the promo code OVERIT.   Resources: Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

This call is about deciding whether or not to rekindle a relationship after experiencing infidelity or betrayal. Today's call was originally intended to be a couples session with Jade and Matthew. But, Jade has decided to exclude Matthew from the call. She describes why she made the decision. Some people can work through infidelity and have it strengthen their relationship. Other people need a clean break.   [For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode409]   What can happen when we are working through trust issues and articulating our needs is that when we get to a point where we are triggered, we throw up a barrier rather than a boundary. When we are a person who hasn't been great at boundaries in life, what can happen when we're pushed to an edge is we can just throw up a wall.   Anytime we cheat, there's a part of us that's scared of intimacy with the person that we're with. There are a lot of other reasons but it's like we're afraid to go deep with the person we're with. There can be a pattern of not being able to be fully intimate and fully vulnerable in relationships.   Most things that happen to us that aren't necessarily what we want to happen are on some level due to our soul calling in a situation to help us heal something that isn't optimal inside of us.   Consider/Ask Yourself: Do you often not hold boundaries to the extent of when you're pushed to an edge a wall and barrier comes up? Have you tried to forgive someone and tried to heal through relationships but you just keep getting hurt? Do you have a hard time trusting? Do you beat yourself up when you've been hurt because you think you should have seen it coming?   Jade's Key Insights and Ahas: She found it difficult to trust Matthew as he traveled. She felt like he was hiding information from her. She has decided that she can't be in the relationship any longer. She felt energetically that things were off. She wants a healthy relationship in the future. She has questioned her truth when it comes to Matthew. She needs transparency in her relationships. She has a pattern of not being fully vulnerable and intimate in relationships. She thought she would feel enough if someone changed for her. She felt this relationship will help her heal from her previous relationship. She wishes her mom was emotionally supportive and less reactive.   How to Get Over It and On With It: Examine her trust issues and why she continues to be in relationships with people she doesn't trust. Forgive Matthew without continuing the relationship with him. Create emotional safety for herself. Don't waste her time thinking she “should” have known sooner. Trust herself and give herself time to grieve without beating herself up. Get clear about her boundaries in a relationship and write them out.   Sponsor: Caraway Cookware — Caraway products are toxicity-free, beautiful, easy to clean and use. The cookware and bakeware sets have a naturally slick ceramic surface. Go to CarawayHome.com/Overit to take advantage of the limited-time offer of 10% off on their full suite of products by using the promo code OVERIT at checkout.   Resources: Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

This call is about deciding whether or not to rekindle a relationship after experiencing infidelity or betrayal. Today's caller, Matthew, has childhood trauma that is affecting his adult behaviors. He wants to continue his relationship with Jade but struggles with self-worth and trust. This is the second of three conversations. In next week's call, Christine speaks with Matthew and Jade during the couple's session. Listen to Part One with Jade.   [For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode408]   Most of the time people don't act out intentionally to hurt other people, they're acting out because they're asking for help, even if it doesn't seem like it. When we have chronic trauma it is very hard for us to be aware of how it is affecting our behavior.   When we look at behavior, especially something like unfaithfulness or cheating, if we just look at the behavior we can get angry. Angry at ourselves and angry at the person. We may call it unforgivable, and maybe it is. But when we look at what is underneath the behavior, what's really driving the behavior, it can give us a different perspective and move us into compassion and ultimately forgiveness.   Compassion and forgiveness offer hope that a relationship can be healed.   My upcoming Signature Retreat is for women who are ready to let go of their limiting beliefs. For a nurturing self-care experience join like-minded women from October 13‒15 in San Diego, CA. To apply go to ChristineHassler.com/signatureretreat. Apply by July 10th to get the early bird discount.   Consider/Ask Yourself: Do you struggle with self-worth issues? Have you ever been unfaithful or have you been in a relationship where someone has betrayed you, lied to you, or been unfaithful to you? Did you grow up in a home where there was abuse and chaos and you never really felt worthy or loved or safe? Are you on a personal discovery journey and you're clear that you're changing things but the people around you may not believe you and that can be frustrating?   Matthew's Question: Matthew struggles with self-worth and trust issues. He would like guidance on how to find internal validation and create a safe space for Jade.   Matthew's Key Insights and Ahas: He lied, manipulated, and cheated during the relationship but, that's not who he wants to be. He feels Jade is having trouble trusting him again. He has trouble trusting Jade. He wants to heal his past traumas. He wants to feel loved, cared for, trusted, and secure in his relationship. He feels his needs can be met. He is on a self-discovery journey. He has always felt he was insignificant and had to fight for love. He has witnessed infidelity and abuse in his life. He is working on forgiving himself. He seeks external validation, mostly from women. He is seeking out ways to bring joy into his life. He is becoming aware of the energy he shares with women. He has an anxious attachment style in his relationships. He is in awe of who Jade is and sees potential in their relationship. He loves Jade but he feels he is under attack.   How to Get Over It and On With It: Find ways to feel expressed, worthy, and validated. Discover what being a man means to him. Talk to an outside resource about his childhood wounding. Breathe deeply to calm himself when he feels defensive. Have compassion for himself and the things he feels shame about.   Assignment: Write out the agreements he needs to make in the new version of this relationship. Write down the needs he would like to have met in a relationship.   Resources: Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.  

This call is about deciding whether or not to rekindle a relationship after experiencing infidelity or betrayal. Today's caller, Jade, has recently been brought back together with someone she loves but whom she left because he betrayed her. This session is the first of three conversations. In next week's call, Christine speaks with Jade's partner.   [For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode407]   When we are betrayed and we are cheated on, of course, we feel anger and hurt, it was an awful thing to have happened, and we get to be mad and angry at the other person. But if we hold on to those things for too long then we're the ones who continue to hurt ourselves.   For many people, infidelity or any kind of betrayal is a deal breaker and sometimes it's not. Sometimes there are so many other things leading up to the betrayal or infidelity that, of course, do not excuse it, but also contribute to why there might be an opening for forgiveness and an opportunity to rebuild the relationship from a fresh start. When it comes to infidelity or betrayal, it's not a black-and-white topic.   Forgiveness is a process; it doesn't happen overnight and it is not something we can do just with our mind. We need to do it with our hearts and our somatic body. We need to move through those emotions of anger, sadness, hurt, and shame to get to a place of — “How do I really feel about this situation, and is my heart open to repair?”   Consider/Ask Yourself: Have you ever been unfaithful in a relationship or have you been cheated on? What do you define as betrayal? Have you gotten clear inside your mind, inside your heart, and with your partner on what is a betrayal and what the agreements are in your relationship? If you have let someone back into your life after betrayal, have you been able to trust again or have you always been looking over your shoulder? Have you always lived with a sense of really not getting your needs met?   Jade's Question: Jade is having trouble navigating trust in a rekindled relationship that ended through betrayal and infidelity. She would like guidance on how to move past the betrayal to build a new relationship.   Jade's Key Insights and Ahas: After one year, her relationship ended with betrayal. Both she and her partner are doing work to rekindle the relationship. She is doing inner work to recognize when she is triggered. She loves her partner and recognizes the humanness in the betrayal. She fears self-betrayal by letting him back into her life. She knows letting him back into her life will be challenging. She doesn't know if she can ever trust him again. There was dishonesty in her past relationships. She felt not enough in her childhood home and didn't feel safe. Her mother did not validate or reassure her. She hasn't felt safe in her relationships. She is hyper-vigilant. She is leaning into the discomfort of the situation.   How to Get Over It and On With It: Put prevention plans and agreements in place to start with a blank slate to create safety for herself in the relationship. Know that whatever happens, she is going to be okay. Find a place to process her feelings with someone else besides her partner. Do not worry about other people's guilt and shame. Release her fear and regulate her nervous system.   Assignment: Write about trust and what it means to her. Write out the agreements that need to be made to move forward in the relationship.   Sponsor: Sensate — is an infrasound resonance device that when paired with sessions in the companion app works towards reducing stress, and improving well-being. It provides deep relaxation in 10‒30 minute sessions to tone the vagus nerve. For $30 off your purchase, go to GetSensate.com and use the promo code OVERIT.   Resources: Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

This call is about setting boundaries and taking care of your own needs. Today's caller, Caitlyn, has an expectation hangover about her engagement planning process. She is excited about her wedding, but her family and friends don't seem to be. We cover a lot of ground and we go really deep in this episode.   [For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode406]   Being a caretaker can be a survival skill. Survival needs can be the need to feel loved, valued, and like we belong. When one of our patterns is tied to those needs, it can be hard to release. Consciously, we may know it's not healthy for us to be a caretaker and that we should set boundaries but unconsciously, there may be a part of us that wonders who will love us and how we will fit into your family if we stop caretaking others.   When our bodies are working hard to hold all of our suppressed emotions together it needs another outlet for release. Our third chakra, our energy center, is tied to personal empowerment. If we don't have boundaries and allow other people to suck our energy, things will shift within the body to compensate. We can manifest a physical ailment when keeping emotional issues bottled up or by not feeling empowered.   Join in for the live group coaching call on June 22, 2003, at 5 pm PST / 8 pm EST on self-love. It's only $20 and you will get live access or if you can't make it live, it will be recorded and mailed to you so you can listen at any time. Go to ChristineHassler.com/group to save your seat.   Consider/Ask Yourself: Is there a current expectation hangover upsetting you and reminding you of something that happened in the past? Do you relate to being a caretaker in your life? Are you afraid to stop taking care of others because you fear losing love or validation? Is it challenging for you to set boundaries? Do you say yes to things when you really mean no? Do you over-compromise and sacrifice your own needs because it is easier than upsetting people? Is there a prolonged physical condition you are dealing with that cannot be resolved?   Caitlyn's Question: Caitlyn wants to know why she is having so many expectation hangovers while she is planning her wedding.   Caitlyn's Key Insights and Ahas: She wants more support from friends and family about her wedding. She is trying to get out of the caretaker role in her family. She has always been a planner. She feels tired, disappointed, and hurt during the wedding planning process. She stepped into the caretaker role in her family as a teenager. She was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis at thirteen. She taught people how to treat her. She is manifesting her physical condition. She gives away her power by always taking care of others. She puts herself last. Emotions were not expressed in her family. Her sister is also planning a wedding.   How to Get Over It and On With It: Put herself first and not worry about other people's upset. Allow herself to feel her emotions. Connect and talk to her younger self. Say thank you to her illness for sending her a message. Start writing from her heart with release writing. Have self-compassion and know it is okay to be seen. Talk to her sister about the things that matter to her. Forgive herself for buying into the understanding that being a caretaker is a way to get love.   Takeaways: If you are dealing with any type of expectation hangover, go back in time and ask yourself, “What does this remind me of?” Do the “empty chair” process at home. Let things go through journaling and release writing. Set and stand by your boundaries with people and let them be upset.   Sponsor: Aquatru — purifies water using a four-stage reverse osmosis process. The countertop purifiers remove 15 times more contaminants than ordinary pitcher filters plus the water tastes fantastic. Their long-lasting and affordable filters are independently tested and certified to NSF standards to remove over 80% of the most harmful contaminants. Go to Aquatru.com and enter OVERIT at checkout to get 20% off any purifier.   Resources: Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

This episode is about leaning into femininity and recognizing self-worth. Today's caller, Lana, has childhood wounding that makes her wish she looked a different way. She would like guidance on how to be more feminine, have a healthier body image, and stop feeling jealous.   [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode405]   Many women have mothers who did not have a healthy body image. And, often as children, we take that on. But, there is so much more than how we look. If we focus on how we look and compare ourselves to other people, we miss out on the incredible gifts that we are here to enjoy in this lifetime.   We are constantly being programmed with what is “beautiful.” We all have different ways in which the feminine expresses through us. It is essential for us to change the way society frames beauty for the future, for women, and for little girls. It is changing, but we have a long way to go.   And, jealousy is a waste of energy. It is often a positive projection. When we look at someone who is “attractive,” what we are really seeing is their confidence or the way they feel comfortable in their body. The next time you feel jealous, think about how you would rather be using that valuable, precious energy. Because jealousy kills our self-worth, sense of spirit, femininity, and relationships. It is no one else's job to make us feel secure in a relationship.   My upcoming Signature Retreat is for women who want to go deeper into their consciousness, expand their femininity, get clear about their purpose, and heal wounds. Get exquisite self-care from October 13‒15 in San Diego, CA. To apply go to ChristineHassler.com/signatureretreat. There is still time to get the early bird discount. Listen to this Coaches Corner episode to find out what happens during the retreat ChristineHassler.com/2022/08/coaches-corner-346.   Consider/Ask Yourself: Do you deal with jealousy? Do you think that if you looked differently that your life would be better? Did you grow up with a mother or a parent who didn't have a good body image and they passed that on to you? Do you know what being in your feminine and femininity means?   Lana's Question: Lana would like tools to boost her body image and overcome jealous feelings in her relationship.   Lana's Key Insights and Ahas: She deals with extreme jealousy but trusts her boyfriend. She has been in her current relationship for five years. She has low self-confidence. She doesn't feel feminine. She compares herself with other people. She's been hurt by relationships from her youth. Her mother didn't have a healthy body image. She is focused on looking a certain way. She is creative, loving, and has a big heart. Her soul wants acceptance for who she is. She puts a lot of energy into thinking she should look different. She wants to enjoy her life.   How to Get Over It and On With It: Be compassionate with her feelings when she is triggered. Begin studying what it means to be in her feminine power. Instead of using her energy on jealousy and comparison, use it to enhance her creativity and joy.   Sponsor: Caraway Cookware — Caraway products are beautiful, easy to clean and use, and non-toxic. The cookware and bakeware sets have a naturally slick ceramic surface. Go to CarawayHome.com/Overit to take advantage of the limited-time offer of 10% off on their full suite of products by using the promo code OVERIT at checkout.   Resources: Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

This episode is about embracing our gifts and making a living. Today's caller, Janelle, has lost the motivation to make a living by expressing her gifts. She would like guidance on how to reignite her drive. Christine offers her practical tips about shifting her limiting beliefs about money, and separating her survival needs from what brings her joy.   [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode404]   Our gifts do not have to translate into a career. Our gifts are there for us to enjoy them. They don't necessarily have to be the thing that makes us money. It is completely possible to have a job you like that isn't your passion. We all have gifts and some of them translate into a lucrative career and sometimes they don't. Give yourself permission to explore your gifts without the pressure of needing to make money at it. Many people feel like a failure if they can not make a sustainable income doing what they love but as long as they are expressing what they love there is no failure.   It's important not to marry gifts and purpose with survival.   At some point in our lives, we are asked to look at what we have done to meet our survival needs and consider what we have to do to be more strategic. When we have a “Watch, I'll show you” energy, it can push us but it doesn't generate a lot of safety and abundance because we are constantly pulled back by our old beliefs.  A caterpillar works hard to become a butterfly. It's a metamorphosis that needs to happen. It completely transforms and transmutes things. When we are in the chrysalis moments, we need to ask ourselves what needs to transform.   My upcoming Signature Retreat is for women who want to go deeper into their consciousness, release layers that need to go, expand their femininity, get clear about their purpose, and heal wounds. Get exquisite self-care from October 13‒15 in San Diego, CA. To apply go to ChristineHassler.com/signatureretreat. There is still time to get the early bird discount. Listen to this Coaches Corner episode to find out what happens during the retreat ChristineHassler.com/2022/08/coaches-corner-346.   Consider/Ask Yourself: Are you doing something you love but not making the kind of money you love? Do you think you can make money and have enough to live doing what you love? Were your creativity, expression, and natural gifts encouraged as a child? Or, were you told you could never make a living at it? Do you have a good relationship with money?   Janelle's Question: Janelle has lost her motivation to continue her dancing career and is looking for guidance on how to make a living following her passion.   Janelle's Key Insights and Ahas: She knows her spiritual purpose. She is at a crossroads. She no longer feels excited about her career or art form. She is a professional dancer and actor. She expected to be more financially secure by now. The pandemic shifted her momentum. She is adaptable and independent. She was told being an artist would be a struggle. She was driven to succeed to prove to others that she could. She has completed the personal mastery course. She feels called back to her passion and desire. She has the tools but doesn't know how to use them.   How to Get Over It and On With It: Shift her limiting beliefs about money. Do the “temper tantrum” technique and give her little girl a voice. Strategically consider her next steps and where she wants to go.   Takeaways: Check out these Coaches Corner episodes with Jade Luna & Kate Northrup. Consider where you are. Is it time to take some risks and share your gifts with the world?   Resources: Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

This episode is about taking risks or making changes when you don't feel safe or secure on some level. Today's caller, Julie, feels stressed about making money because she is not doing something she is passionate about. Christine offers her guidance on how to shift her perspective into making an intentional transition.   [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode403]   One of my pet peeves of the personal development industry is the implied pressure to just make changes, take leaps, or have courage. And, while it is important to be able to make changes and to be able to take leaps, when you feel not safe on some level, it is going to be challenging.   It's always a blend of not staying in something that is familiar and “safe” but not what you want to be doing for so long that you get accustomed to feeling safe but not feeling alive, Not really feeling like you're doing what you're passionate about. Because the years will go by and your dream will quickly fade.   However, you don't want to just drop everything and make a drastic change when you don't feel safe. When it comes to safety, we are humans who have basic needs. We have the need for love. We have the need for feeling that our physical needs are met also.   There is a part of us that if we're not doing what we love or what we really desire, it can be difficult to make money at it because if we're really being called to something else, and we're not listening to it, often we'll have a sabotaging part that will come up.   My upcoming Signature Retreat is for women who want to go deeper into their consciousness, release layers that need to go, expand their femininity, get clear about their purpose, and heal wounds. Get exquisite self-care from October 13‒15 in San Diego, CA. To apply go to ChristineHassler.com/signatureretreat. There is still time to get the early bird discount. Listen to this Coaches Corner episode to find out what happens during the retreat ChristineHassler.com/2022/08/coaches-corner-346.   Consider/Ask Yourself: Are you a people-pleaser and make decisions based on what you think other people want from you versus what you truly want from yourself? Are you making choices or doing things that are breeding resentment, maybe in your marriage, a friendship, in business, or with your parents? Do you feel unsafe and unstable in some way and you are doing something just for the money? Do you want to make a change but you feel like you just can't because you're not financially “stable” enough?   Julie's Question: Julie is looking for guidance about personal finances.   Julie's Key Insights and Ahas: She and her husband feel stressed about money. She is self-employed in her small business. She started working with an IFS therapist. She consumes a lot of information about her small business. She is a people-pleaser. She feels pressure from her husband to make more money. She likes helping people. She tires of doing what other people think she should do. She felt love from her parents was conditional. She judges herself for not doing what she wants to do. She has a love/hate relationship with money.   How to Get Over It and On With It: Create a self-love-healing plan and an action plan. Approach her work from a different perspective. Identify where her triggers originate. Create safety in her system. Love herself through it. Check out the upcoming Women's Retreat.   Takeaways: What are the steps, both internally and externally, you need to take to make an intentional transition? Get your applications in to join Christine at her Signature Retreat.   Sponsor: Sensate — is an infrared resonance device that when paired with sessions in the companion app works towards reducing stress, and improving well-being. It provides deep relaxation in 10‒30 minute sessions to tone the vagus nerve. For $30 off your purchase, go to GetSensate.com and use the promo code OVERIT.   Resources: Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

This episode is about feeling safe in our bodies by regulating the nervous system. Today's caller, Nicole, struggles to change her body weight and feels she lacks motivation and follow-through to do so. She asks for practical tips on how to shift it and create peace and love within herself.   [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode402]   Nervous system regulation is bringing awareness to our state of being. Meaning, are we in a state of hyperarousal or hypoarousal? Both states can be a trauma response. Trauma, simply defined, is too much, too fast, too soon, or too little for too long.   Hyperarousal means we are anxious, constantly bracing ourselves, staying busy and distracted to avoid pain, or we are nervous, vigilant, and possibly aggressive. Hypoarousal means we can be depressed, or we may lack motivation. We can even go into apathy or indifference.   Whether it is hyper or hypo, it means we are functioning with an unregulated nervous system. It is hard for people in an unregulated state to be present. A regulated nervous system is when we feel safe inside our body. Yet, it doesn't mean we're in a meditative state and doesn't mean we are a Zen master.   For those who grew up in an unsafe or chaotic house, your baseline is not going to be regulated. You can do all the emotional processing in the world to move the trauma and do inner child work but you have to practice a nervous system reset multiple times a day.   Elementum Coaching Institute is beginning its 3rd year with a comprehensive 7-month program starting in September 2023. This program is for coaches of all skill levels. Apply to become a certified coach and get a 3-month business bonus at https://elementumcoachinginstitute.com.   Consider/Ask Yourself: Do you feel busy all the time and there don't seem to be enough hours in a day? Have you been wanting to release weight but you just can't seem to let it go? Do you know the benefits of self-love and self-care but you can't seem to do them? Did you grow up in a chaotic household and you long for peace and calm in your life?   Nicole's Question: She struggles with prioritizing herself, practicing self-love, and having self-worth issues. She wants to lose weight but doesn't understand why she cannot stay motivated to do so.   Nicole's Key Insights and Ahas: She attended the Be the Queen program. Her father didn't value overweight people. Her mother was self-critical. She tries to eat healthily and has a gym membership. She loves being outside, dancing, and being with her dog. She is finishing her Master's degree. She finds little time to do the things she loves. Her nervous system baseline is hyper-aroused. She longed for peace and calm in her chaotic childhood home. She focuses on losing weight. She tells herself she will do the things she loves when she loses weight. She is a people-pleaser.   How to Get Over It and On With It: Break the pattern of being in a hyper-aroused state. Recalibrate her nervous system with hourly breaks and resets. Check out Style Space and use the promo code Christine10. Create peace and calm in her home and body. Practice transitions and be conscious about her next move. Practice saying no to create space for herself.   Takeaways: Find online content about nervous system regulation.   Sponsor: StoryWorth — Looking for a meaningful Father's Day gift? Storyworth helps your loved ones feel special, unique, and connected by sharing and preserving their precious memories. For a limited time, get $10 off your first purchase at StoryWorth.com/overit.   Resources: Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

This episode is about getting over someone we can't seem to get over. Today's caller, Matthais, is hung up on someone he can't seem to get over but, as usual, it has to do with something much deeper. Often, it is the relationships that don't work out that teach us the most.   [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode401]   As children, we are naturally intimate, but if our parents can't be intimate back we start to shut down. Because intimacy feels scary and unfamiliar. And, even though everyone wants to be loved, they push love away because love has hurt them in the past. So, when love comes to us we push it away because it is unfamiliar.   An avoidant attachment relationship pattern is when someone loves us and we push them away. It's because love feels unfamiliar and scary. Love feels like it hurts because as children, we naturally love our parents. When we don't feel that love back from our parents in the way we as children give love, it's very disorienting and it can make us not trust love. So, when someone wants to love us, it feels unfamiliar and unsafe.   Whereas, when there is someone distant and aloof with us and maybe love bombs us, it feels great in the beginning but then the great feeling fades. Or, the person will give us ultimatums we have to fulfill and make us chase them. It makes us yearn for something familiar to us, and we often confuse the feeling with love because it is familiar.   When we are hung up on someone, we think we are missing them but what we are missing is something we need to embody within ourselves. When we heal our inner child, we begin to choose the love we truly desire, not a feeling that triggers us.   Consider/Ask Yourself: Is there someone that you've broken up with or that broke up with you but you just can't seem to let them go? Did you have a parent that wasn't there for you in the way that you truly desired? Do you relate to having an avoidant attachment style? Did you have a parent that parentified you or even made you their spouse and you didn't get to be a kid?   Matthais's Question: He had a painful breakup that he can't seem to get over. He would like guidance on how to get over it and move forward.   Matthais's Key Insights and Ahas: He hasn't felt emotional pain in his life before like he did with this breakup. He is having difficulty connecting with new people. He was very much in love. The breakup was abrupt. His ex triggered something deep inside of him. He has some wounding in his past about his looks. His ex said he triggered her childhood wounding. He has an avoidant attachment style. His parents divorced when he was 15 and has struggled with it for 25 years. His mother was caring but he has been the only man in his mother's life. He may be choosing partners who mirror his relationship with his father. He hasn't experienced true intimacy. He felt his dad didn't want him and his mother parentified him. He is attracted to controlling women.   How to Get Over It and On With It: Discontinue any communication with his ex. Let her go. When he thinks of his ex, tell himself that it wasn't a healthy love and that real love is safe. Work on his inner child by exploring the self-guided Inner Child Workshop. Feel into self-love.   Takeaways: Read the book Attached or dive into the Coaches Corner episodes on attachment styles.   Sponsor: Aquatru — purifies water using a four-stage reverse osmosis process. The countertop purifiers remove 15 times more contaminants than ordinary pitcher filters. Their long-lasting and affordable filters are independently tested and certified to NSF standards to remove over 80% of the most harmful contaminants. Go to Aquatru.com and enter OVERIT at checkout to get 20% off any purifier.   Resources: Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.  

This episode is about pausing and not deciding. Today's caller, Lydia, has been experiencing massive changes in her life over the past year. She is questioning whether or not to get married. She wants guidance about how she can relieve the pressure of making a choice and how to know what is right for her. She finds that sometimes not making a choice is the best choice.   [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode400]   There's nothing wrong with questioning. There is always a purpose in it. When we're in a place of doubt or questioning, it's good to explore it. When there's so much change happening, it can put us in more of a fight-or-flight survival-based response and we come from the emotionally reactive part of our brain. Or it can put our priorities and our values front and center to make us question anything that is not aligned.   When we are experiencing a lot of change or grief, it takes a while to find our footing. In times of transition and change, major decisions can be tricky. The part of us that likes to control and to know things, can have a hard time when we go back and forth about big decisions.   If your life is steady right now; if you're not going through grief or a big change, but you are finding it difficult to make a choice, you might just be scared of change. You might just need to make a choice. But, if your life has a lot of chaos in it or there are a lot of changes and uncertainty about making another big choice, that's when you can take time to pause and let what is in alignment with you rise to the surface.   My upcoming Signature Retreat is for women who want to go deeper into their consciousness, release layers that need to go, expand their femininity, get clear about their purpose, and heal wounds. Get exquisite self-care from October 13‒15 in San Diego, CA. To sign up go to ChristineHassler.com/signatureretreat . There is still time to get the early bird discount.   Consider/Ask Yourself: Is there something you're trying to decide, or choose about, like a relationship, or whether to leave a job and you just can't get clarity or, you could talk yourself into either direction? Are you grieving? Did you just lose someone that was important to you and it's clouding your ability to choose? Did you go through a breakup or a job loss where you felt a sense of rejection and your self-confidence took a hit? Do you like to control? Do you like to have answers and being in that in-between of not making a choice can be a little wobbly for you?   Lydia's Question: Many things in her life are changing. She is grieving the loss of her mother and having doubts about getting married. She would like guidance on how to move forward with confidence.   Lydia's Key Insights and Ahas: She is grieving the loss of her mother. She is going through a job transition. She is planning her wedding and a move. She is questioning her decision to get married. She is judging her fiance and feels guilty about it. As an adult, she had to distance herself from her mother. Her job transition left her feeling rejected. She feels resistance when she tries to make a choice. She doesn't have safety in her nervous system. She is concerned about disappointing people.   How to Get Over It and On With It: Pause, give herself some grace, and wait to make a choice about her relationship. Allow herself to be in the unknown as much as possible. Work on establishing safety in her nervous system. Surrender and take off the pressure to make a choice.   Sponsor: Air Doctor — is an air filter and air purifier that creates the healthiest environment in your home. It filters out dangerous contaminants and allergens with an ultra HEPA filter that removes 99.99% of tested bacteria and viruses. If you want to order an Air Doctor today with a 30-day money-back guarantee, go to AirDoctorPro.com and use promo code “Overit” and get up to 35% off on selected models.   Resources: Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.