Podcast appearances and mentions of paul kivel

Summary In this episode, thought partner and podcast producer Nayantara Premakumar joins hosts Carolina and Vidhya to reflect and update listeners on our retreat and recent milestones. We share our struggles resisting racial/gendered capitalism through cooperative, decentralized, and transparent governance and ownership structures. This includes a discussion of fiscal sponsorship and technocratic tools for decision-making. We also highlight upcoming changes to the podcast, including efforts to tie together our personal, professional, and political analyses; to acknowledge the lands we've inhabited; and to explicitly prompt reflection and action. ⁠⁠Episode 5 transcript⁠ Notes 01:30: It was a post on NPOCunicorns | People of Color Nonprofit Professionals, not a Facebook ad 17:21: Is Fiscal Sponsorship Right for You? gets at some of our hesitation. See more on The May 13 Group PODCAST webpage. 21:03: While Caro took the lead on this effort, the list referred to here was actually compiled by the New Economy Coalition's Solidarity Economy Funding Library, which we think we became aware of through the Open Collective. Open Collective allows groups to raise and distribute money in a transparent, decentralized way. See more on the PODCAST webpage. 29:12: “Society at large” is meant to suggest everyday members of society who may not directly participate in the funded and evaluated programs—for example, will they benefit from reduced crime, etc. It is meant to drive a wedge between them and the underclass who do directly participate in funded and evaluated programs. See more on the webpage. 30:24: This understanding does not reflect the most recent research, such as The origins of SWOT analysis | ScienceDirect, which suggests that SWOT was developed by industries that profit by serving the U.S. military's imperial interests and the business model of never-ending war, but it was not necessarily developed by military institutions. It was, however, uncritically adopted by nonprofit organizations despite the nature and ostensible purpose of their work being entirely different. Of course, military responses do have their place (e.g., Black Panthers, Zapatista). 39:09: The expansion is not exactly exponential in that it does not reflect the change between 3 to the 4th power and 3 to the 3rd power. But the expansion is not linear because the increment of growth is not static or consistent—it continually increases. References ChainLink Studios SORA Podcast Learn about Vu Le and Community-Centric Fundraising Nonprofit Industrial Complex 101: A primer on how it upholds inequity and flattens resistance Exploitation | Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy Marx's Theory of Alienation | Richard Wolff on Economic Update; also see What Is Alienation? | Socialism 101 The Buffer Zone with Paul Kivel; also see Social Service or Social Change? | Paul Kivel and the book review The Revolution Will Not Be Funded: Behind the Non-Profit Industrial Complex Dylan Rodríguez (He/Him) Strategy as engagement: What organization strategy can learn from military strategy | Science Direct New Economy Coalition A Historical Overview of Philanthropy, Voluntary Associations, and Nonprofit Organizations in the United States, 1600-2000 Beware the tyranny of structurelessness; see the original article, The Tyranny of Stuctureless Robert's Rules of Order; see also Roberta's Rules Basic concepts and principles | Sociocracy for All Lean Coffee The Fibonacci Sequence: Nature's Code; see also Golden Ratio for Art Beginners Pythagorean Theorem The May 13 Group PODCAST Episode 1: Who are we? Active, acute, overt physical genocide as distinct from—but related to—seemingly passive, chronic, and covert structural genocide Music “Inspired” Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) ⁠⁠Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0⁠⁠ Contact us  Website:⁠⁠ https://themay13group.net⁠⁠⁠ LinkedIn Carolina: https://www.linkedin.com/in/carodela⁠⁠⁠ Vidhya: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/vidhyashanker⁠⁠

In this conversation on Race, Simma Lieberman, The Inclusionist, and Chad Lassiter, the executive director of the Pennsylvania Human Relations Council, engage in a deep personal conversation about self-reflection and awareness of privileges, stereotypes, and behaviors. Chad shares his own daily process to engage in self-reflection on race, and his role in bringing people to the common table to challenge stereotypes that perpetuate inequality and discrimination.   With school boards and politicians, not only eliminating African-American history and any discussion of racial discrimination under the guise of making white children feel uncomfortable, we need to find ways to flip the script and empower all children, including white children, to be agents of change. While acknowledging concerns about discomfort, Chad Lassiter says that we can help children see that they have the power to contribute to a more just and equal society. By engaging in these conversations, children can recognize each other's humanity and understand their role in promoting peace and justice.    The key moments in this episode are: [02:26] Conversations around racism and division. [06:37] First experience with racism. [09:12] Police brutality and activism. [12:06] Generational trauma and racial identity. [17:04] Dismantling systemic and structural racism. [21:11] Building solidarity through activism. [26:49] Wealth and taking care of the poor. [28:00] Employment discrimination based on appearance. [33:19] The importance of conversation. [36:13] The trigger for white rage. [40:03] Talking about race in schools. [45:55] The Woman King and toxic masculinity. [48:37] Social change agents and justice warriors.   Chad references the work of Paul Kivel, who emphasizes the necessity of difficult conversations about racism to uproot it.  This episode of Everyday Conversations on Race for Everyday People needs to be heard by anyone who wants to empower people of all ages to eliminate racism and other forms of inequality. With so much foolishness about not even mentioning cultural/racial differences and pretending everyone is the same while erasing non-white people, it's essential that we share and talk about our identities, and culture. This is how we can find common ground and learn and grow together. Chad says these conversations will help us all find a balance between preserving individuality and being open to connecting with people from diverse backgrounds. No one is just one identity, and it would be very boring to pretend otherwise. We talk about Chad's experience of growing up in an all-black community and how his perspective initially remained narrow due to his limited exposure. However, from interacting with individuals from different cultures and backgrounds, his viewpoint expanded, and he discovered shared experiences. This highlights the idea that engaging with diverse perspectives broadens understanding and fosters connections. Simma and Chad talk about the concept of cultural pride reinforcement, particularly within the context of the Black Lives Matter movement. Cultural pride does not entail valuing one culture over another but rather celebrating and affirming the importance of one's own culture while also respecting and acknowledging the significance of other cultures. This supports the notion that maintaining one's identity and culture does not necessitate rejecting or disregarding others. Listen in as we touch on the significance of having conversations about race, racism, and other issues that some may see as divisive.  While recognizing the importance of addressing these topics, we also need to incorporate discussions around peace, justice, truth, love, and kindness. That's how a more inclusive and compassionate society can be created. Without that, we'll be even more divided racially and in every other way Overall, the episode underscores the importance of maintaining one's identity and culture while also seeking common ground with others. It highlights the value of expanding perspectives, celebrating cultural pride, and engaging in conversations that foster understanding, peace, and justice.   Guest Bio Chad Dion Lassiter is a national expert in the field of American Race Relations. Mr. Lassiter has worked on race, peace, and poverty-related issues in the United States of America, Africa, Canada, Haiti, Israel, and Norway, and is called upon frequently by media outlets to provide commentary on race relations and potential solutions. He is the current executive director of the Pennsylvania Human Relations Commission, where he has legislatively delegated authority to investigate complaints filed alleging unlawful discrimination in the areas of employment, housing and commercial property, education and/or  public accommodations. During his capacity in this position, he has developed and launched a ‘No Hate in Our State Townhall' to address the surge of White nationalism in Pennsylvania, a ‘Social Justice Lecture Series' providing an outlet for the communities in the state to discuss imperative issues and serves as a Racial Reduction Response team for those communities impacted by hatred. He oversees a staff of 84 with three regional offices that comprise the 67 counties in Pennsylvania and manages an annual budget of $12 million. He has also developed programs under his appointment, such as a ‘Global Social Justice Initiative', ‘Black and Jewish Beloved Community Dialogue', and the ‘College Race Dialogue Initiative.'   Host Bio Simma Lieberman, The Inclusionist helps leaders create inclusive cultures. She is a consultant, speaker and facilitator and the host of the podcast, “Everyday Conversations on Race for Everyday People.” Contact Simma@SimmaLieberman.com Go to www.simmalieberman.com and www.raceconvo.com for more information Simma is a member of and inspired by the global organization IAC (Inclusion Allies Coalition)    Connect with me: Instagram Facebook YouTube Twitter LinkedIn Tiktok Website   Previous Episodes Breaking the Chains: Fighting Caste Oppression with Thenmozhi Soundararajan Breaking Barriers: John Blake on Racial Reconciliation Why We Must Bridge Divides: A Conversation on Inclusive Leadership with Sally Helgesen & Mercedes Martin Loved this episode? Leave us a review and rating

Casey Overton (she/they) is a radical faith-rooted strategist and spiritual activist who is deeply vested in the development of healing cultures. As National Coordinator for Tikkun Magazine's Network of Spiritual Progressives, they love being immersed in cooperative interfaith dialogue while creating restorative space for those marginalized within their respective faith institutions. She's also an amateur poet, nap-taker, time-bender, and movement chaplain-in-training. She hails from increasingly black, middle-class suburbs in the stolen Appamattuck and Arrohatec lands outside of Richmond, VA. They hold a Bachelor's in Strategic Communication from Hampton University as well as a Master's in Christian Practice concentrated on justice and reconciliation from Duke University. Writings- Liturgy That Matters: https://enfleshed.com Twitter: @CaseyOverton1 Instagram: @bestcasescenario_ Books Referenced Living in The Shadow of The Cross by Paul Kivel- https://paulkivel.com/books/living-in-the-shadow-of-the-cross/ Parable of he Sower by Octavia Butler- https://www.google.com/books/edition/Parable_of_the_Sower/kmFOEAAAQBAJ?hl=en&kptab=overview Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison- https://www.google.com/books/edition/Invisible_Man/iSrI-BQqFf0C?hl=en&gbpv=0 Native Sons by James Baldwon- https://www.google.com/books/edition/Native_Sons/trKKx24i2EQC?hl=en&gbpv=0 In Search of Our Mothers' Gardens by Alice Walker- https://www.google.com/books/edition/In_Search_of_Our_Mothers_Gardens/m0TJX5mc6gcC?hl=en&gbpv=0

Episode Description: This episode we are joined by Gina McGrath, CEO and Founder of Consent Culture Initiative (CCI). Gina shares with us how CCI empowers folks to create cultures of consent, respect, and accountability -- and how you can get involved with their Consent Action Team!   Learn more: Consent Culture Initiative, prevention education and harm reduction  Join the Consent Action Team  Calling In the Calling Out Culture: Detoxing our Movement by Loretta J. Ross Episode 2: Uprooting Racism with Paul Kivel and Loretta J. Ross  How to Support Harm Doers in Being Accountable

In our second full length episode, we connect with friend and mentor of White Noise Collective, Paul Kivel. He shares about his journey in feminist and anti-racist organizing, grounded in decades-long movement building and educational work. We discuss the his recent focus on transforming patterns of Christian hegemony. You are welcome to this conversation whether you have never heard of this concept, or if it is something you know well. We hope this episode resonates with you.Check out more info in the show notes and episode transcript featured on our website, conspireforchange.org. To learn more about Paul and his work, check out https://paulkivel.com/.

Over forty years ago, in partnerships with the Oakland Men's Project, author and activist Paul Kivel conceptualized "the act like a man box" putting into motion a central frame for the healthy masculinity movement. In this interview, Kivel talks about his history in men's work and his regrets about what remains to be done. Namely, collective action and a broader response to all forms of oppression. Paul Kivel is a powerful moral voice and a founding father of the healthy masculinity movement. Reach out to Paul and find his books at PaulKivel.com. *** Join us for powerful conversations with the men and women leading the healthy masculinity movement. For generations, our culture has taught us a narrow and limiting set of rules for how to be a man. The end result? Epidemic levels of isolation and violence for boys and men and for the multitude of others who's lives we impact. But we can make a difference choice. We can choose a masculinity of connection and in return have healthier relationships, and more meaningful, lasting lives. As a writer, speaker and consultant, Mark Greene has spent over a decade deconstructing our binary-riddled dialogues around manhood and masculinity. He consults to organizations world wide on diversity, inclusion and masculinity. Mark is the author of The Little #MeToo Book for Men, Remaking Manhood and is co-author with Dr. Saliha Bava of The Relational Book for Parenting. You can learn more about Mark's work at RemakingManhood.com Charles Matheus is an educator and public speaker who has mentored hundreds of men in communication, leadership, & emotional growth. You can learn more about his work at CharlesMatheus.com Contact: mark@remakingmanhood.com charles@charlesmatheus.com Theme music composed by Gus Greene. Click here for links to his music on most streaming services. e4MRrS01kNoeeONpGtFy

In this episode of History You Should Know, we learn about Loretta J. Ross, a powerful advocate who is an award-winning, nationally recognized expert on racial justice, women’s rights, reproductive justice, and human rights. Learn more: Loretta J. Ross website Loretta Ross: Reproductive Justice Pioneer, Co-Founder of SisterSong Women of Color Reproductive Justice Collective Paying it Forward Instead of Looking Backwards SisterSong Women of Color Justice Collective National Organization for Women (NOW) Episode 2 of PA Centered: Uprooting Racism with Paul Kivel and Loretta J. Ross Visit www.pcar.org/podcasts for show notes and transcripts. 

Around 1% of US citizens control nearly half of the nation's wealth. They can only keep things that imbalanced by dividing the rest of us against ourselves. Otherwise we might join together and update the system that allows them to maintain (and increase) their imbalanced control over resources. This week Paul Kivel joins me to talk about some big words with simple meanings: hegemony, white supremacy, domination, Christian Privilege, White Privilege, and "Buffer Zone Jobs"

This week's guest features Paul Kivel, author of Living in the Shadow of the Cross: Understanding and Resisting the Power and Privilege of Christian Hegemony. Since the fateful decision by Emperor Constantine in the 4th Century CE to make Christianity the official state religion of Rome, Christianity has enjoyed unprecedented power, cultural and religious dominance--the very definition of "hegemony." And this is true not just in the West, where it's been most powerful, but indeed worldwide, as Christianity provided the ideology and force to go along with much of the efforts to colonize the world in the 18th-19th centuries. It's still seen today worldwide--politically, socially, culturally, religiously, and in many other ways. Paul and I will give you the tools not only to understand what Christian hegemony is, and the dangers it poses--we'll also discuss how you and I can successfully resist it. Support Independent Media like MindShift Podcast on Patreon! Contact Information Paul Kivel's Challenging Christian Hegemony Website Follow me on Twitter @MindShift2018

Paul Kivel is an activist, educator and author who had been working for social justice for over 45 years. In this episode Ethan and Paul discuss the Oneness of Love and our need to move from an individualist to a collectivist culture in order to thrive. They dig into the challenges of participating in economic and racial systems that put individuals before the collective and how to exist in these systems while advocating for change. They also get into the role of white people with privilege in taking action for social justice and dismantling white supremacy and the toxic effects of Patriarchal, individualistic capitalism. Find Paul at www.paulkivel.com and via email paul@paulkivel.com Learn about Showing Up For Racial Justice (SURJ) https://www.showingupforracialjustice.org And find Organizing White Men for Collective Liberation at https://www.owmcl.org Learn about being a Love Extremist at www.extremist.love Find Ethan on Instagram at www.instagram.com/ethanlipsitz If you like this podcast please leave a review on Itunes here!

This is part 2 of a 2 part series I would recommend you listen to episode 29 first. Now, this is a new concept for me and it was introduced to me from a friend of mine. She is a counselor who works with sex offenders. She was talking about how they use the information about The Man Box to help them. Now This episode is more than likely going to drift on the political a bit. This isn't a political site. This website is men focused and meant to help men raise strong confident boys to they can be leaders in society. To do that we sadly have to get our political feet wet today. Again I apologize there are way too much politics and tribalism going on in the world today. When there is a line crossed I will take a stand. As a Man Should. So I got to looking at what in the world the man box was. I came across the ted talk by Tony Porter which is the very first video that pops up on youtube. Now Tony started out as a child in the inner city. He talks about how growing up in New York he was taught that Men had to be tough, strong, courageous, dominating, no pain, emotionless except anger and no fear, men are in change which means women are not, That men lead and you just fall in line, Men are superior and women are inferior, Men strong women weak, that women are less valuable. They are the property of men. Now he goes on and talks about his dad atone of his brother's funeral, and how he held his tears in till the women left. He then progresses to a story about a girl name Shiela and his interactions with her.  From here he digresses into the problem with the man box and the problem I have with the man box. Where he says that all men function in the deepest foundations or the man Box we inherently undervalue women which makes us see them as objects. This Man box is the topic of today's discussion. The biggest problem with all the studies I am about to talk about and it will be beaten in your head throughout this episode is that for people who hate stereotypes they love to stereotype when it fits their needs. Now again I do realize that that view is also a stereotype so this just proves my point even more. What is the Man Box? It is a perceived list of values all men are supposed to hold to. Now the “supposed to” is used on purpose because in this argument one side thinks that is how we act and the other side thinks how we don't act. There are academic papers that are pushing this Man Box listed all over the place. There are studies about how The role of masculine norms and gender role conflict. There are studies about Toxic Masculinity The Man Box is also called Toxic Masculinity. This is where so many people get the idea of Masculinity as being bad, and we need to break the Gender norms and such instances as this. They are fundamentally wrong and we will get into these instances later. Now according to Richmond College, The Man Box is described as, A term that researchers use to describe the dominant form of masculinity in the United States at this time is known as Hegemonic Masculinity, which Mark Greene (2013) and others have described as the “Man Box.” Now that Hegemonic Masculinity is a $10 word and I had a 50¢ vocabulary so I did look up and see what Hegemonic masculinity means and it is according to Wikipedia Hegemonic masculinity is defined as a practice that legitimizes men's dominant position in society and justifies the subordination of the common male population and women, and other marginalized ways of being a man From what I see that is the common Alpha Male and Beta Male line of thinking. This is also an incorrect way to look at men.  Now the Term Man Box goes all the way back 40 years ago to an activist named Paul Kivel. His Wikipedia page isn't very filled out so what is listed is. Kivel co-founded the Oakland Men's Project, a community education center focused on preventing male violence, and has been called "an innovative leader in violence prevention. According to one study called, The Man Box: A Study on Being a Young Man in the US, UK, and Mexico a rigid construct of cultural ideas about male identity. This includes being self-sufficient, acting tough, looking physically attractive, sticking to rigid gender roles, being heterosexual, having sexual prowess, and using aggression to resolve conflicts. This is the primary study that I read through and this took a while because of the double standard and I could only handle it at short chunks because of the double standard.  The 7 Pillars of the Man Box In the study the divided the man box up into 7 different categories and they are. Self Sufficiency A man never talks about his feeling if he wants to get respect. Men should figure out their problems on their own. Acting Tough If a man doesn't fight back, he is weak. Men should act strong even if they are nervose or scared. Physical Attractiveness A man has to look good if he wants to be successful. Yet women don't like men who fuss too much with their hair clothes and skin. And if men spend too much time on their looks they aren't manly. Rigid Gender Roles Men should earn the money and women should stay home and take care of the kids. Boys should have to learn how to cook clean or take care of kids. Husbands don't have to do chores Homophobia Gay men are not real men but it is OK to be friends with a gay man. (Yeah figure that one out) Hypersexuality Real Men should have as many sexual partners as they can and never say no to sex. Aggression and Control Real men use violence to get respect. A man should always have the final say in a family, and they should know where their girlfriend or woman is at all times. Already you are seeing the flaws in the man box theory. First, they destroy their argument in the Homophobia category.  Yet let's look at some other problems men are in other studies. Boys are more likely to take risks and partake in risky behaviors. Yes, boys take more risks and the competition of being the best is in all of us. They are more fearless Boys like to show off yet women too like to show off in their own natural way. You have to be successful We all want to be successful. Men are more likely to take the risks needed to have their own business. Engage in watching pornography more Now, this is a problem. I agree. I am starting to look at what porn does to a man's way of thinking. And I am starting to see what Pornography does to a man's thought process. But it isn't an objectification of women like many people want to think. Yet it does take away the connection to your wife if you are married. Yet I would say we need to look at why men turn to porn in the first place. Emotionless This is the natural inclination to stoicism men develop. This is a skill that men require not to turn their emotions off like a switch but to set their emotions off to the side until there is a proper time to process them.  There is a problem with both sexes in that they will run from uncomfortable emotions. They will bury then so that they don't have to experience them. This does cause problems and this problem is again in both sexes. This is where much of the problem of overeating comes in to play, along with alcoholism and drug addiction. Have higher mental health problems This is going to have some finger-pointing. I believe this is from many of the outside influences on the boys as they are growing up. The schools treat boys as if they are broken girls. Boys are not allowed to be boys. There is a fundamental difference between the two sexes and all of the postmodern deconstructionism that is going on in colleges these days adds only more mental health problems and confusion. Attacks on masculinity as being bad adds even more fuel wind to the tempest. There are no healthy debates going on. There is way too much tribalism. All of this has stifled real men and boys from being able to have healthy talks. Trying to fix something that isn't broke only breaks more stuff. More prone to bullying This is an increase across both sexes. This has gone on for centuries. Is bullying a problem? It can be but if you can teach a boy to be stoic and let him understand that each man has the ability to disarm the bully by using confidence. Any time you stand out from the crowd people is going to try to pull you down. This is called The Tall poppy syndrome. I talked about this in episode 23. I also see bullying as a normal rite of passage. It does strengthen you for life. You will face assholes all along your journey you have how do you deal with them? You have teachers who will not like you you will have upper-level managers who see you as a threat. You will have people who will delight in making your life hell. How do you deal with this normal everyday occurrence? You learn from them. One of the best ways to teach confidence for kids in school is to help them learn that they have power. That can mean that they have to bloody a bully's nose at some time. That is actually a good thing it teaches the bully that their actions are not accepted and that you never know who you‘re messing with. So get your kid into some type of martial arts. They learn to fight when it is needed. Lack of friends to talk to Look at young boys they make friends at the drop of a hat. This skill is lost as we get older. Look at 45-year-old men they may only have 1 or 2 close friends. This on their head it isn't because men can't have friends it is because we get caught up in the grind of life. Helping our families. This is a problem but it isn't strictly associated with men I know many women who have only 1 or 2 close friends. Will stand by and watch This is a societal problem. Not only do men stand by and let injustice happen but I see just as many women standing to the side with their phone's camera out and recording. What are men in reality Men actually do the following We protect those close to us We do stand up for those who are our family. If the need arises we will fight. We will resort to violent actions. We may not want to but we will. This is why men go to war. They believe in a cause and are willing to put their lives on the line. This is where many of the Man Box categories are actually put to good use. War is risky so when being raised up this is why boys take more risk. We naturally train ourselves to do fearless activities. It shows us that 90% of the time we won't actually die from being uncomfortable.  We have the needed aggression to do the hard work. That aggression is also used so that we go after what we want. We don't give up just because something is in our way. The lack of emotions that these studies find also helps in protecting our families. WE do have to act in moments of fear and high stress. When loud explosions are going on around us we have to know there is a time and a place for everything and paying attention to the amygdala on a battlefield will often get you shot. This is called Stoicism and it is a good thing for men to have. So we aren't just standing in the middle of a crowd boohooing.  Men serve their community WE have friends and working or running a business is serving the community. We have to take risks to run a business. We can't succumb to fear when making a business decision because it will most likely be the wrong choice. Men provide for their family This is us reaping the rewards of serving the community. Life is a set of transactions and that sounds cold to many who think capitalism is wrong but it is a fact. You cant receive unless you give. This goes with respect, Having a wife, having friends, and having a business. Without many aspects of the Man Box, you cant have a stable society. These social constructs have been with us for many millennia. They serve us well and they are there for a damn good reason. Now I will say I agree with Tony at the end of his talk. Because in all reality I am doing a lot on this site to do what he thinks needs to be done to fix the Man Box. He stats that is it ok to not be dominating. It is OK to have feelings and emotions. It is OK to promote equality, it is OK to have women who are just friends, That it is ok to be whole. That is what I do on this site and this podcast. If you go through and look we talk a hell of a lot about emotions and what they are and why they are good to have. Equality is always something we all strive for real equality not to sacrifice one person's rights gifts and give them to a different person who someone arbitrarily feels needs more rights and special help. We all have the ability to be successful. And there would be more successful with less victim mindset. When we have the stoicism and integrity in your life you can have women as friends.  Other Relaxed Male posts about Toxic Masculinity There is No Toxic Masculinity Because Our Boys Aren't Broken Let Boys be Boys

Now, this is a new concept for me and it was introduced to me from a friend of mine. She is a counselor who works with sex offenders. She was talking about how they use the information about The Man Box to help them. Now This episode is more than likely going to drift on the political a bit. This isn't a political site. This website is men focused and meant to help men raise strong confident boys to they can be leaders in society. To do that we sadly have to get our political feet wet today. Again I apologize there are way too much politics and tribalism going on in the world today. When there is a line crossed I will take a stand. As a Man Should. So I got to looking at what in the world the man box was. I came across the ted talk by Tony Porter which is the very first video that pops up on youtube. Now Tony started out as a child in the inner city. He talks about how growing up in New York he was taught that Men had to be tough, strong, courageous, dominating, no pain, emotionless except anger and no fear, men are in change which means women are not, That men lead and you just fall in line, Men are superior and women are inferior, Men strong women weak, that women are less valuable. They are the property of men. Now he goes on and talks about his dad atone of his brother's funeral, and how he held his tears in till the women left. He then progresses to a story about a girl name Shiela and his interactions with her.  From here he digresses into the problem with the man box and the problem I have with the man box. Where he says that all men function in the deepest foundations or the man Box we inherently undervalue women which makes us see them as objects. This Man box is the topic of today's discussion. The biggest problem with all the studies I am about to talk about and it will be beaten in your head throughout this episode is that for people who hate stereotypes they love to stereotype when it fits their needs. Now again I do realize that that view is also a stereotype so this just proves my point even more. What is the Man Box? It is a perceived list of values all men are supposed to hold to. Now the “supposed to” is used on purpose because in this argument one side thinks that is how we act and the other side thinks how we don't act. There are academic papers that are pushing this Man Box listed all over the place. There are studies about how The role of masculine norms and gender role conflict. There are studies about Toxic Masculinity The Man Box is also called Toxic Masculinity. This is where so many people get the idea of Masculinity as being bad, and we need to break the Gender norms and such instances as this. They are fundamentally wrong and we will get into these instances later. Now according to Richmond College, The Man Box is described as, A term that researchers use to describe the dominant form of masculinity in the United States at this time is known as Hegemonic Masculinity, which Mark Greene (2013) and others have described as the “Man Box.” Now that Hegemonic Masculinity is a $10 word and I had a 50¢ vocabulary so I did look up and see what Hegemonic masculinity means and it is according to Wikipedia Hegemonic masculinity is defined as a practice that legitimizes men's dominant position in society and justifies the subordination of the common male population and women, and other marginalized ways of being a man From what I see that is the common Alpha Male and Beta Male line of thinking. This is also an incorrect way to look at men.  Now the Term Man Box goes all the way back 40 years ago to an activist named Paul Kivel. His Wikipedia page isn't very filled out so what is listed is. Kivel co-founded the Oakland Men's Project, a community education center focused on preventing male violence, and has been called "an innovative leader in violence prevention. According to one study called, The Man Box: A Study on Being a Young Man in the US, UK, and Mexico a rigid construct of cultural ideas about male identity. This includes being self-sufficient, acting tough, looking physically attractive, sticking to rigid gender roles, being heterosexual, having sexual prowess, and using aggression to resolve conflicts. This is the primary study that I read through and this took a while because of the double standard and I could only handle it at short chunks because of the double standard.  The 7 Pillars of the Man Box In the study the divided the man box up into 7 different categories and they are. Self Sufficiency A man never talks about his feeling if he wants to get respect. Men should figure out their problems on their own. Acting Tough If a man doesn't fight back, he is weak. Men should act strong even if they are nervose or scared. Physical Attractiveness A man has to look good if he wants to be successful. Yet women don't like men who fuss too much with their hair clothes and skin. And if men spend too much time on their looks they aren't manly. Rigid Gender Roles Men should earn the money and women should stay home and take care of the kids. Boys should have to learn how to cook clean or take care of kids. Husbands don't have to do chores Homophobia Gay men are not real men but it is OK to be friends with a gay man. (Yeah figure that one out) Hypersexuality Real Men should have as many sexual partners as they can and never say no to sex. Aggression and Control Real men use violence to get respect. A man should always have the final say in a family, and they should know where their girlfriend or woman is at all times. Already you are seeing the flaws in the man box theory. First, they destroy their argument in the Homophobia category.  Yet let's look at some other problems men are in other studies. Boys are more likely to take risks and partake in risky behaviors. Yes, boys take more risks and the competition of being the best is in all of us. They are more fearless Boys like to show off yet women too like to show off in their own natural way. You have to be successful We all want to be successful. Men are more likely to take the risks needed to have their own business. Engage in watching pornography more Now, this is a problem. I agree. I am starting to look at what porn does to a man's way of thinking. And I am starting to see what Pornography does to a man's thought process. But it isn't an objectification of women like many people want to think. Yet it does take away the connection to your wife if you are married. Yet I would say we need to look at why men turn to porn in the first place. Emotionless This is the natural inclination to stoicism men develop. This is a skill that men require not to turn their emotions off like a switch but to set their emotions off to the side until there is a proper time to process them.  There is a problem with both sexes in that they will run from uncomfortable emotions. They will bury then so that they don't have to experience them. This does cause problems and this problem is again in both sexes. This is where much of the problem of overeating comes in to play, along with alcoholism and drug addiction. Have higher mental health problems This is going to have some finger-pointing. I believe this is from many of the outside influences on the boys as they are growing up. The schools treat boys as if they are broken girls. Boys are not allowed to be boys. There is a fundamental difference between the two sexes and all of the postmodern deconstructionism that is going on in colleges these days adds only more mental health problems and confusion. Attacks on masculinity as being bad adds even more fuel wind to the tempest. There are no healthy debates going on. There is way too much tribalism. All of this has stifled real men and boys from being able to have healthy talks. Trying to fix something that isn't broke only breaks more stuff. More prone to bullying This is an increase across both sexes. This has gone on for centuries. Is bullying a problem? It can be but if you can teach a boy to be stoic and let him understand that each man has the ability to disarm the bully by using confidence. Any time you stand out from the crowd people is going to try to pull you down. This is called The Tall poppy syndrome. I talked about this in episode 23. I also see bullying as a normal rite of passage. It does strengthen you for life. You will face assholes all along your journey you have how do you deal with them? You have teachers who will not like you you will have upper-level managers who see you as a threat. You will have people who will delight in making your life hell. How do you deal with this normal everyday occurrence? You learn from them. One of the best ways to teach confidence for kids in school is to help them learn that they have power. That can mean that they have to bloody a bully's nose at some time. That is actually a good thing it teaches the bully that their actions are not accepted and that you never know who you‘re messing with. So get your kid into some type of martial arts. They learn to fight when it is needed. Lack of friends to talk to Look at young boys they make friends at the drop of a hat. This skill is lost as we get older. Look at 45-year-old men they may only have 1 or 2 close friends. This on their head it isn't because men can't have friends it is because we get caught up in the grind of life. Helping our families. This is a problem but it isn't strictly associated with men I know many women who have only 1 or 2 close friends. Will stand by and watch This is a societal problem. Not only do men stand by and let injustice happen but I see just as many women standing to the side with their phone's camera out and recording. What are men in reality Men actually do the following We protect those close to us We do stand up for those who are our family. If the need arises we will fight. We will resort to violent actions. We may not want to but we will. This is why men go to war. They believe in a cause and are willing to put their lives on the line. This is where many of the Man Box categories are actually put to good use. War is risky so when being raised up this is why boys take more risk. We naturally train ourselves to do fearless activities. It shows us that 90% of the time we won't actually die from being uncomfortable.  We have the needed aggression to do the hard work. That aggression is also used so that we go after what we want. We don't give up just because something is in our way. The lack of emotions that these studies find also helps in protecting our families. WE do have to act in moments of fear and high stress. When loud explosions are going on around us we have to know there is a time and a place for everything and paying attention to the amygdala on a battlefield will often get you shot. This is called Stoicism and it is a good thing for men to have. So we aren't just standing in the middle of a crowd boohooing.  Men serve their community WE have friends and working or running a business is serving the community. We have to take risks to run a business. We can't succumb to fear when making a business decision because it will most likely be the wrong choice. Men provide for their family This is us reaping the rewards of serving the community. Life is a set of transactions and that sounds cold to many who think capitalism is wrong but it is a fact. You cant receive unless you give. This goes with respect, Having a wife, having friends, and having a business. Without many aspects of the Man Box, you cant have a stable society. These social constructs have been with us for many millennia. They serve us well and they are there for a damn good reason. Now I will say I agree with Tony at the end of his talk. Because in all reality I am doing a lot on this site to do what he thinks needs to be done to fix the Man Box. He stats that is it ok to not be dominating. It is OK to have feelings and emotions. It is OK to promote equality, it is OK to have women who are just friends, That it is ok to be whole. That is what I do on this site and this podcast. If you go through and look we talk a hell of a lot about emotions and what they are and why they are good to have. Equality is always something we all strive for real equality not to sacrifice one person's rights gifts and give them to a different person who someone arbitrarily feels needs more rights and special help. We all have the ability to be successful. And there would be more successful with less victim mindset. When we have the stoicism and integrity in your life you can have women as friends.  Other Relaxed Male posts about Toxic Masculinity There is No Toxic Masculinity Because Our Boys Aren't Broken Let Boys be Boys  

In each episode we talk about a variety of books, writing, and art. Below are a few mentioned in this one:Black Lives Matter petition to #DefundThePolice (link)Sister Outsider: Essays and Speeches by Audre Lorde“An Interview: Audre Lorde and Adrienne Rich” (First published in Signs, vol. 6, no. 4 in summer of 1981. Edited from three hours of audio tapes recorded on August 30, 1979 in Montague, Massachusetts. Commissioned by Marilyn Hacker, guest editor of Woman Poet: The East.)“The Master's Tools Will Never Dismantle the Master's House” (From comments at "The Personal and the Political Panel" at the Second Sex Conference on September 29, 1979 in New York.)"How Did #BlackOutTuesday Go So Wrong So Fast?" (Vulture) (link)“Ten Steps of Non-Optical Allyship” by Mireille Cassandra Harper (link)Ijeoma Oluo on NPR discussing how police have two purposes: to protect and serve white people, and to control black people (link)Carceral Capitalism by Jackie Wang (link)Uprooting Racism: How White People Can Work for Racial Justice by Paul Kivel (link)“I ❤️ NY” video by Una Osato (link)The Center for Artistic Activism (link)Jews for Racial and Economic Justice (JFREJ) (link)Never Again Action (link)List of Bail Funds Across the Country -- please contribute if you can! (link)Questions? Thoughts? Email us: alltalklisteners@gmail.com.About Us:Ellie Lobovits is a visual artist, educator, writer, and teacher of Jewish plant magic. ellielobovits.comLeora Fridman is a writer and educator, author of My Fault, Make an Effort, and other books of prose, poetry and translation. leorafridman.com

Join us as we discuss the book, Uprooting Racism, and the connection between race and the anti-sexual violence movement. This episode we are joined by activists Loretta J. Ross, and author of Uprooting Racism, Paul Kivel. Purchase the book and learn more about Paul at paulkivel.com; learn more about Loretta at lorettaross.com. Visit www.pcar.org/podcasts for show notes and transcripts. 

Why is it so important for men to be involved in issues such as reproductive justice, women's rights and the #MeToo movement? What does it mean for a man to be an ally to these movements? What does that look like? How do we encourage more men of privilege to take action and to give back? What does positive masculinity mean to you? What pieces of masculintiy are effective and which are not? A fascinating foray into 5 decades of social justice. Dr. John interviews Paul Kivel, social justive educator, activist, and writer. Paul has been an innovative leader in violence prevention for more than 45 years. He is an accomploshed trainer and speaker on men's issues, racism and diversity, challenges of youth, and family violence, raising boys to manhood, and the impact of class and power on daily life. His work gives people the understanding to become involved in social justice work and the tools to become more effective allies in community strufggles to end oppression and injustive and to transform orgranization and institutions. Paul is the author of numerous books and curricula, including Uprooting Racism: How White People Can Work for Racial Justice, which won the 1996 Gustavus Myers Award for best book on human rights, Men's Work, Making the Peace, Healping Teens Stop Violence, Boys Will Be Men, and most recentle, You Call This a Democracy?: Why Benefits, WHo Pays, and Who Really Decides. If you like what you've heard, support us by subscribing, leaving reviews on Apple podcasts or Stitcher. The reviews help us to spread the word. Please share the podcast with friends and colleagues. Follow Dr. John on | Instagram | Instagram.com/@TheEvolvedCaveman | Facebook | Facebook.com/Anger.Management.Expert | Twitter | Twitter.com/@JohnSchin | LinkedIn | Linkedin.com/in/DrJohnSchinnerer Or join the email list by visiting: GuideToSelf.com Please visit our YouTube channel and remember to Like & Subscribe! https://www.youtube.com/user/jschinnerer Editing/Mixing/Mastering by: Brian Donat of B/Line Studios www.BLineStudios.com Music by: Zak Gay

BOLD is a podcast about race and justice in America, and a collaboration between Small Beans and Showing Up For Racial Justice, produced by White People 4 Black Lives. In the second episode, writer, educator, and legendary social justice advocate Paul Kivel helps Dahlia and Michael explain a bit of the history of white allyship, what your stakes as a white person are in dismantling racism in America, the history of racial assimilation in America, the relationship between racism and economic inequality, and much, much more. Also features a piece by Ariel Luckey, and voices and sounds from ongoing protests against 24-Hour Fitness following the locker-room murder of Albert Ramon Dorsey by police.

BOLD is a podcast about race and justice in America, and a collaboration between Small Beans and Showing Up For Racial Justice, produced by White People 4 Black Lives. In the second episode, writer, educator, and legendary social justice advocate Paul Kivel helps Dahlia and Michael explain a bit of the history of white allyship, what your stakes as a white person are in dismantling racism in America, the history of racial assimilation in America, the relationship between racism and economic inequality, and much, much more. Also features a piece by Ariel Luckey, and voices and sounds from ongoing protests against 24-Hour Fitness following the locker-room murder of Albert Ramon Dorsey by police.

On this edition of Making Contact, we speak with author Paul Kivel about his book, Uprooting Racism: How White People Can Work for Racial Justice. This book offers a framework for understanding institutional racism. It provides practical suggestions, tools, examples, and advice on how white people can intervene in interpersonal and organizational situations to work as allies for racial justice.

On this edition of Making Contact, we speak with author Paul Kivel about his book, Uprooting Racism: How White People Can Work for Racial Justice. This book offers a framework for understanding institutional racism. It provides practical suggestions, tools, examples, and advice on how white people can intervene in interpersonal and organizational situations to work as allies for racial justice.

On this edition of Making Contact, we speak with author Paul Kivel about his book, Uprooting Racism: How White People Can Work for Racial Justice. This book offers a framework for understanding institutional racism. It provides practical suggestions, tools, examples, and advice on how white people can intervene in interpersonal and organizational situations to work as allies for racial justice.

On this edition of Making Contact, we speak with author Paul Kivel about his book, Uprooting Racism: How White People Can Work for Racial Justice. This book offers a framework for understanding institutional racism. It provides practical suggestions, tools, examples, and advice on how white people can intervene in interpersonal and organizational situations to work as allies for racial justice.

Have you ever caught your self telling a joke with racial overtones? There is a culture of denial within America's white community about the existence of racism. In a poll a few years back, only 22 percent of white people believed that racism is a major societal problem. Paul Kivel is not one of them. … Continue reading EP 81 DOES RACISM STILL EXIST?

This week, Martha's guests are Jonathan Lerner, Judith Boggess, Naama Bloom, Paul Kivel, and Ana Homayoun.

A New Garden Ethic: Cultivating Defiant Compassion for an Uncertain Future with Benjamin VogtBenjamin Vogt has a PhD from the University of Nebraska, an MFA from The Ohio State University, and a BFA from the University of Evansville. He owns Monarch Gardens LLC, a prairie garden design firm that works with clients in Nebraska and throughout the Midwest. His 5,000 foot home garden has been featured in Fine Gardening, Garden Design, Nebraska Life, the Omaha World Herald, the Lincoln Journal Star, and on several television and radio programs. Benjamin writes an award-winning garden column for Houzz (with nearly 3 million reads) and has contributed words and photographs to several books including: Lawn Gone!, Pollinator Friendly Gardening, and Gardening for Butterflies (The Xerces Society). He is a sought after speaker for his humor and lyrical passion, presenting at national conferences, botanic gardens, and symposiums. http://monarchgard.com Uprooting Racism with Paul KivelPaul Kivel, social justice educator, activist, and writer, has been an innovative leader in violence prevention for more than 35 years. He is an accomplished trainer and speaker on men's issues, racism and diversity, challenges of youth, teen dating and family violence, raising boys to manhood, and the impact of class and power on daily life. Paul has developed highly effective participatory and interactive methodologies for training youth and adults in a variety of settings. His work gives people the understanding to become involved in social justice work and the tools to become more effective allies in community struggles to end oppression and injustice and to transform organizations and institutions. http://paulkivel.com/

Cass and Dr. Bob interview Paul Kivel, author of many books but today we focus on “Living in the Shadow of the Cross: Understanding and Resisting the Power and Privilege of Christian Hegemony.” Hegemony is defined as aggression or expansionism by a certain group with the intent to achieve domination. Here in the west, we are fish swimming in Christian hegemony. Paul defines it on his website, christianhegemony.org as the everyday, pervasive, and systematic set of Christian values and beliefs, individuals and institutions that dominate all aspects of our society through the social, political, economic, and cultural power they wield. Nothing is unaffected by Christian hegemony (whether we are Christian or not) including our personal beliefs and values, our relationships to other people and to the natural environment, and our economic, political, education, health care, criminal/legal, housing, and other social systems.  Christian hegemony as a system of domination is complex, shifting, and operates through the agency of individuals, families, church communities, denominations, parachurch organizations, civil institutions, and through decisions made by members of the ruling class and power elite.  Christian hegemony benefits all Christians, all those raised Christian, and those passing as Christian. However the concentration of power, wealth, and privilege under Christian hegemony accumulates to the ruling class and the predominantly white male Christian power elite that serve its interests. All people who are not Christian, as well as most people who are, experience social, political, and economic exploitation, violence, cultural appropriation, marginalization, alienation and constant vulnerability from the dominance of Christian power and values in our society. Christian hegemony operates on several levels. At one level is the internalization of dominant western Christian beliefs and values by individuals in our society. Another level is the power that individual preachers, ministers and priests have on people’s lives. Particular churches and some Christian denominations wield very significant political and economic power in our country. There is a vast network of parachurch organizations, general tax-supported non-profits such as hospitals, broadcasting networks, publishing houses, lobbying groups, and organizations like Focus on the Family, Prison Fellowship, The Family, World Mission, and thousands of others which wield influence in particular spheres of U.S. society and throughout the world. Another level of Christian dominance is within the power elite, the network of 7-10,000 predominantly white Christian men who control the largest and most powerful social, political, economic, and cultural institutions in the country. And finally there is the level which provides the foundation for all the others–the long and deep legacy of Christian ideas, values, practices, policies, icons, and texts that have been produced within dominant western Christianity over the centuries. That legacy continues to shape our language, culture, beliefs, and values and to frame public and foreign policy decisions. Christian dominance has become so invisible that its manifestations appear to be secular, i.e. not religious. In this context, the phrase “secular Christian dominance” might be most appropriate, Christian hegemony under the guise of secularism. Of course, there are many forms of Christian fundamentalism which are anything but secular. Often fundamentalists want to create some kind of theocratic state. But the more mainstream, everyday way that dominant Christian values and institutions influence our lives and communities is less evident, although no less significant and certainly not limited to fundamentalists. Paul is also the author of: “Uprooting Racism: How White People Can Work for Racial Justice” “Men's Work: How to Stop the Violence That Tears Our Lives Apart” “Making the Peace: A 15-Session Violence Prevention Curriculum for Young People” “You Call This a Democracy?” www.paulkivel.com www.christianhegemony.org We taped this conversation on Nov. 16th, 2015. Subscribe to our podcast on iTunes, Stitcher, TuneIn and most podcast platforms.  If you’re feeling grateful for our podcast, Patreon.com is like a per episode tip jar for our work. Credits: "Towering Mountain of Ignorance" intro by Hank Green https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w3v3S82TuxU Intro bumper "Never Know" by Jack Johnson All other music is by Cass Midgley I also want to take this moment to thank my co-host Bob Pondillo. Not only is he one of my very best friends in the world, but what he brings to this show is invaluable. I’m not saying anything our listeners don’t already know, but Bob’s personality and perspective never fails to color every conversation with that unique Bobness. It’s enough that he’s a walking encyclopedia but a deeply empathic human soul as well who seems to always insert quips and comments that add wisdom and context to my often naïve callowness. We all know this show would not be the same without him, nor the cache and value that his scholarship and wit bring. I love you, Bob and thanks so much for doing this podcast with me. I’m forever grateful.   --Cass Midgley Thanks for listening and be a yes-sayer to what is.  

In this episode Joanna interviews Paul Kivel. Paul is a social justice educator, activist, and writer, and has been an innovative leader in violence prevention for more than 35 years. He is an accomplished trainer and speaker on men's issues, racism and diversity, and the impact of class and power on daily life, among other things. Paul is the author of numerous books and curricula, including "Uprooting Racism: How White People Can Work for Racial Justice" and "You Call This a Democracy?: Who Benefits, Who Pays, and Who Really Decides." In this interview he discusses his latest book, "Living in the Shadow of the Cross: Understanding and Resisting the Power and Privilege of Christian Hegemony" and invites others to join the conversation.

Paul Kivel, activist, trainer, writer, and violence prevention educator. He will discuss how to build community in his newest book, You Call This A Democracy? Who Benefits, Who Pays and Who Really Decides? Paul Kivel's book is a penetrating and troubling look at how the U.S. ruling class and the power elite dominate wealth, power and decision-making in all aspects of our lives and institutions.

Paul Kivel, activist, trainer, writer, and violence prevention educator. He will discuss how to build community in his newest book, You Call This A Democracy? Who Benefits, Who Pays and Who Really Decides? Paul Kivel's book is a penetrating and troubling look at how the U.S. ruling class and the power elite dominate wealth, power and decision-making in all aspects of our lives and institutions.