The Relaxed Male

In this episode of The Relaxed Male, host Bryan Goodwin delves into the crucial distinction between tolerating and accepting in relationships, particularly marriage. Bryan emphasizes how tolerating can lead to resentment and emotional disconnection, while accepting allows for healthier communication and understanding. He discusses common relationship issues such as overspending and unsatisfactory love lives, highlighting the importance of addressing these problems through open dialogue and emotional honesty.Bryan also explores the societal pressures to tolerate undesirable behaviors and how this can negatively impact personal relationships. He encourages listeners to reclaim their power by accepting circumstances and working through them with their partners. By changing thought patterns and embracing acceptance, men can foster better relationships with their spouses and children. Bryan invites listeners to engage with him through email for further discussion and offers coaching services to help men improve their relationships by changing their mindset.

Bob Gardner joins Bryan Goodwin on episode 269 of The Relaxed Male, providing insights that challenge conventional approaches to pain and addiction. Bob, known as the "Freedom Specialist," shares a transformative perspective on how our mindset shapes our experiences and influences our health. At the start, Bryan highlights how Bob's work has shifted his own understanding of addiction, viewing it as a symptom of underlying emotional struggles rather than a mere behavioral issue. This conversation touches on the evolution of Bob's practice, initially focused on helping men with porn addiction, but expanding into broader realms encompassing life's challenges and embracing change.A key theme of the discussion is the power of the mind in shaping our experiences. Bob emphasizes that everyone is inadvertently harnessing their mental capabilities, whether they realize it or not, when they react to events around them. He recounts the story of a cancer patient whose condition improved dramatically after being told they received an effective treatment—only for their health to decline again once they learned it was a placebo. This highlights the mind's potent influence over the body and emphasizes Bob's view that our perceptions and beliefs shape our physical reality.Bryan probes deeper into how individuals can tap into their mental capacities. Bob elaborates, explaining that the question is often asked incorrectly, limiting possibilities. Instead of asking how to access the mind's power, individuals should recognize they are already engaging it. This ties into the concept of "entertainment," where the information we consume shapes our thoughts and responses. Bob reflects on how people often expose themselves to negative influences and emphasizes the importance of surrounding oneself with positive stimuli to cultivate a more constructive mindset. He recalls Einstein's insight about not solving problems from the same level of thought that created them, advocating for a shift in focus toward opportunities for positive growth.The conversation transitions to the natural limitations humans impose on themselves, stemming from societal conditioning that promotes self-doubt. Bob theorizes that such limitations arise from a resistance to life's natural flow, suggesting that many people are unaware of their potential due to the environment and narratives they've absorbed. He challenges the audience to consider alternative societies wherein limitations aren't part of the prevailing mental framework, suggesting that our desires and aims often grow from negative environments.They discuss the concept of grounding and being present in one's physical body, which leads to greater self-awareness and emotional regulation. This approach is especially relevant in situations where individuals turn to distractions or addiction in response to boredom or discomfort. Bob stresses simplifying the understanding of emotions: feelings of boredom or anxiety often boil down to a mismatch in physical states. By altering one's physical condition, such as through movement or stretching, individuals can change their emotional state, circumventing the cognitive loops that lead to unhealthy coping mechanisms.Bryan illustrates the connection between thoughts, feelings, and behaviors as they navigate discussions around addiction. Both agree that understanding the physiological sensations underlying emotions is vital for managing challenges. Bob encourages listeners to pay close attention to their bodies, as it can lead to breakthroughs that a purely cognitive approach may not achieve.As the dialogue continues, Bob expands on the importance of mindfulness and self-awareness in overcoming past conditioning that informs present responses. They explore how modern distractions muddy our perceptions of reality, making it difficult for individuals to connect with their true selves. Bob advocates for intentional stillness as a means to foster deeper connections with existence, which can lead to insights often missed in our hectic daily lives.In conclusion, the episode packs a wealth of information, ultimately calling on listeners to reflect on their own mental frameworks, understand their emotions at a physiological level, and engage with life more openly. Bob leaves the audience with resources to continue exploring this journey, such as his book "Built for Freedom" and associated courses designed to dismantle limiting beliefs and promote holistic healing. Bryan thanks Bob for his insights and encourages listeners to explore how these concepts can enhance their lives moving forward. This dialogue encapsulates a transformative approach to personal development, emphasizing the power within each person to shape their own reality and overcome boundaries previously thought insurmountable.RetreatsBook - Built for Freedom: The 10 adventuresLife Progressionwhat entertainsbuilt for feedom .org unshacled lAST RETREATBob InformationFacebook- https://www.facebook.com/thebobgardnerBook - https://a.co/d/5skTXU7Bob's Course Choose Your Own Emotion - https://live.thefreedomspecialist.com/feelbetternowThe Final Retreat In July - https://live.thefreedomspecialist.com/unshackled

In this episode of The Relaxed Male, host Bryan Goodwin tackles a tough question of the month from a listener named Marty, who finds himself in a difficult situation after cheating on his wife of nine years. With two young children and the possibility of another child on the way with the woman he cheated with, Marty seeks advice on how to confess to his wife and work towards regaining her trust. Brian shares insights from his own experiences and offers guidance on navigating the aftermath of infidelity, emphasizing the importance of accepting what one can control and the long road to rebuilding trust.Bryan delves into the complexities of relationships, discussing the reasons why cheating occurs and the steps necessary to improve a marriage. He highlights the significance of communication, emotional intimacy, and personal growth through the four pillars of a man's life: mind, body, community, and soul. Brian encourages listeners to take responsibility for their actions, work on self-improvement, and understand the impact of their choices on their relationships. Whether it's through open communication or seeking coaching, Brian offers practical advice for men looking to strengthen their relationships and live life on their own terms.

In this episode of The Relaxed Male, host Bryan Goodwin takes listeners on a reflective journey as he navigates the challenges of unmet expectations and life not going according to plan. Broadcasting from his truck, Bryan shares personal insights and experiences from the past few years, discussing the hurdles he has faced in his coaching business and the lessons learned along the way. He candidly explores the concept of success, the struggle with imposter syndrome, and the importance of redefining goals and expectations when life throws curveballs.Bryan emphasizes the significance of personal growth and self-improvement as foundational steps toward achieving better relationships, particularly with one's spouse. He shares his vision for helping men become better partners and the obstacles he has encountered in his coaching journey. Despite the setbacks, Bryan remains committed to his mission, offering free coaching sessions and continuing to produce content that aims to inspire and support men in their personal development. Join Bryan as he delves into the realities of pursuing dreams, the power of mindset, and the resilience required to keep moving forward when life doesn't go as planned.

In this episode of The Relaxed Male, we delve into the complex relationship between physical intimacy and emotional connection. Host Bryan Goodwin shares his personal experiences and insights on how different types of intimacy, including physical, emotional, and intellectual, play a crucial role in strengthening relationships. Bryan candidly discusses the challenges he faced in his own marriage, from dealing with a lack of sexual intimacy to navigating the roommate syndrome, where partners drift apart emotionally and physically.Bryan emphasizes the importance of intentionality in relationships, urging listeners to actively work on building various forms of intimacy with their partners. He shares how spending quality time together, engaging in open communication, and being present can enhance emotional and physical connections. The episode also touches on the societal expectations around sex and intimacy, and how these can impact men's perceptions of their self-worth.Listeners are encouraged to reflect on their own relationships and consider how they can be more intentional in fostering intimacy with their partners. Bryan offers practical advice and coaching opportunities for those seeking to improve their relationships and find fulfillment in their marriages.

In this episode of The Relaxed Male, we delve into the complex world of expectations and how they shape our reactions and relationships. Host Bryan Goodwin shares personal insights from his recent experiences with unrealized expectations, particularly in the context of a social media workshop that didn't meet his expectations. He discusses the common pitfalls of unvoiced expectations and covert contracts, especially in personal relationships, and how they can lead to frustration and resentment.Bryan recounts his journey through a social media masterclass, where he anticipated gaining valuable insights but instead encountered a sales pitch that left him feeling shortchanged. This experience led him to reflect on the importance of managing expectations and the role they play in our emotional responses.Throughout the episode, Bryan emphasizes the significance of understanding and articulating our expectations, both to ourselves and others, to avoid unnecessary disappointment. He also highlights the value of thought downloads as a tool for examining our thoughts and expectations.Listeners are encouraged to explore their own expectations and consider how they might be impacting their relationships and personal growth. Bryan offers a free month of coaching to help men navigate these challenges and improve their relationships with themselves and others.

In this episode of The Relaxed Male, we have a special guest, Todd, who is one of my clients. Todd is a father, husband, and coworker who has faced relationship challenges that many men encounter, whether at home or work. This episode provides a unique opportunity to experience firsthand how coaching with me can transform relationships from feeling like roommates to ones you can truly enjoy.We delve into Todd's journey, discussing the struggles he faced in his marriage, particularly financial disagreements with his wife. We also discuss how coaching helped him shift his perspective and improve their relationship. Todd shares how he learned to approach his wife with care and understanding, which led to positive changes in their dynamic.We also explore Todd's challenges at work, dealing with a coworker who has a different approach to leadership. Todd opens up about his frustrations with the lack of direction and how it impacts the team's performance. Through our conversation, we discuss effective communication styles, the importance of assertiveness, and how to lead a team by providing the necessary resources and support.This episode helps people see the practical aspects of coaching, showing how intentional thoughts and actions can lead to significant improvements in both personal and professional relationships. Join us as we uncover the tools and strategies that can help you navigate your own challenges and enhance your relationships.

In this episode of The Relaxed Male, we dive into the topic of getting unstuck and moving forward in life, especially after significant life changes like a divorce. Host Bryan Goodwin, a certified coach, addresses the common feelings of stagnation and fear that can keep us from pursuing new adventures and living life on our own terms. We explore the importance of introspection and identifying the thoughts that hold us back, and Bryan provides actionable steps to overcome these barriers.We also tackle the question of the month: "What do I do if I've been stuck after my divorce?" Bryan offers insights into breaking free from a rut, finding new friends, starting a new business, and embarking on a new journey. He emphasizes the importance of working on the four pillars of a man's life: mind, body, soul, and community. By focusing on continuous learning, physical fitness, finding one's purpose, and building a supportive community, men can transform their lives.Throughout the episode, Bryan encourages listeners to embrace failure as a part of growth and to take courageous steps toward their goals. He also highlights the value of having a strong community of friends who can support and uplift each other. Whether you're looking to start a new business, find new love, or simply live a more fulfilling life, this episode offers practical advice and motivation to help you get started.If you resonate with any part of this episode or know someone who might benefit from it, Bryan encourages you to share it with others. He also invites listeners to reach out for coaching and support, offering a month of free coaching to help you get unstuck and move forward with confidence.

In this episode of The Relaxed Male, we delve into the intriguing topic of how we often use our limitations as badges of honor. Host Bryan Goodwin explores why society tends to celebrate limitations and how this mindset can actually reinforce these constraints rather than liberate us from them. Brian discusses the phenomenon of labeling oneself with terms like ADHD, neurodivergent, or introvert, and how these labels can become self-fulfilling prophecies that hinder personal growth.Bryan emphasizes the power of the mind as a "do not get killed" device that can be programmed to see the world in a certain way. He illustrates this with the "green car syndrome," where our brains start noticing things we focus on, reinforcing our beliefs. The episode challenges listeners to reconsider the limitations they claim and to stop celebrating them as they can become obstacles to success.Through personal anecdotes and insights, Bryan encourages listeners to change their self-talk and programming. He suggests that by altering the narrative we tell ourselves, we can overcome perceived limitations and achieve greater success. The episode also touches on the societal tendency to label emotions and behaviors, often leading to unnecessary medication and avoidance of personal growth.Bryan invites listeners to reflect on their own limitations and consider how they might be holding themselves back. He offers practical advice on how to shift perspectives and embrace challenges as opportunities for growth. The episode concludes with a call to action for listeners to share the podcast with others and to participate in a survey to help improve the show.

In this week's episode of The Relaxed Male, we delve into the common struggles men face when trying to improve their relationships, particularly with their wives. Host Bryan Goodwin, a certified coach, explores the barriers that hold men back from living the fulfilling life they desire. He discusses the motivational triad that keeps us in our comfort zones, the fear of failure, rejection, and even success, and how these fears prevent us from taking necessary actions.Bryan shares his personal experiences and insights on why New Year's resolutions often fail by February, and how we can overcome the inertia that keeps us from pursuing our goals. He emphasizes the importance of stepping out of our comfort zones, embracing discomfort as a currency for the life we want, and taking intentional actions towards our goals.The episode also touches on the concept of indulgent emotions like worry and confusion, and how they can lead to mental spin, preventing us from making progress. Brian encourages listeners to confront their self-doubt, and past thinking, and to take actionable steps towards their objectives, whether it's improving their marriage or achieving personal success.Listeners are invited to try a free month of coaching to help them break through their barriers and start living intentionally. Bryan offers practical advice on how to take the first steps toward change, emphasizing the need to write down goals and take action despite fear and discomfort.Links - Try Coaching - https://www.relaxedmale.com/trycoachingTake the Survey - https://www.relaxedmale.com/survey

In this episode of The Relaxed Male, host Brian Goodwin delves into the complexities of maintaining individual identities within a marriage. Using the biblical reference of two becoming one, Brian explores how couples can balance unity with independence. He discusses the common pitfall of losing oneself in a relationship by trying to appease a partner, leading to codependency. Brian emphasizes the importance of being true to oneself and the detrimental effects of relying on a partner for affirmation and emotional well-being.Brian introduces the concept of differentiated relationships, where both partners maintain their individuality while working together as a team. He outlines four key skills necessary for such relationships: emotional independence, self-regulation, setting healthy boundaries, and conflict resolution. Brian shares insights on how to develop these skills and the benefits they bring to a marriage.Throughout the episode, Brian provides practical advice for men to stop being "nice guys" who avoid conflict and instead embrace healthy disagreements. He encourages listeners to engage in open communication with their partners, allowing for personal growth and stronger relationships. By fostering a differentiated relationship, couples can enjoy a more fulfilling and harmonious life together.Try Coaching - https://www.relaxedmale.com/trycoachingTake the Survey - https://www.relaxedmale.com/survey

In this week's episode of The Relaxed Male, we're doing something a bit different by diving into an email from a listener. I, Brian Goodwin, your host, start with an apology for not responding to emails due to a technical oversight. I acknowledge the missed opportunities to connect with listeners and answer their questions. Moving forward, I commit to addressing one listener question per month on the show.We also discuss the renewed interest in the Brotherhood of Men group coaching package. Despite initial hesitation, I've decided to offer this group coaching opportunity, especially to those who have shown interest, at a discounted rate.The main focus of this episode is a listener's email about gaining respect as a recovering addict. We explore the challenges of rebuilding trust and respect in relationships, particularly after addiction. I share insights on how addiction is often a coping mechanism gone awry and emphasize the importance of taking responsibility for one's actions.We delve into strategies for rebuilding trust, such as being transparent and open with loved ones, and the importance of self-improvement. I encourage listeners to focus on personal growth through reading, exercising, and finding purpose, which can help in regaining respect and trust from others.Finally, I invite listeners to send in their questions and feedback to help improve the show and announce the upcoming launch of the Brotherhood of Men group coaching.

In this episode of Relaxed Male, your host Bryan Goodwin dives deep into the intricacies of personal responsibility and self-awareness in relationships. Bryan discusses how men often become their own worst enemies by repeating the same actions and expecting different results. He emphasizes the importance of taking control of one's thoughts and actions to improve personal circumstances and relationships.Bryan shares his personal journey of overcoming frustration and blame, highlighting how men tend to point fingers at others, especially their partners, for their problems. He explains how this mindset invites unnecessary suffering and prevents men from living life on their own terms.The episode explores the concept of "the model," which suggests that our thoughts create our emotions, and how understanding this can lead to better relationship dynamics. Bryan encourages listeners to examine what they make circumstances mean about themselves and to challenge the thoughts that lead to negative emotions.Bryan also discusses the "97% rule," advising men to hold back from saying most of the impulsive things that come to mind, and instead focus on building connection and intimacy with their partners. He stresses the importance of understanding and communication in relationships, urging men to listen to their partners and create circumstances that foster love and intimacy.Throughout the episode, Bryan offers insights into how men can stop punishing themselves and their partners by giving up their "manuals"—the set of expectations they have for others—and instead focus on what they can control: their own thoughts and actions. He invites listeners to explore coaching as a tool for personal growth and better relationships.In this episode of The Relaxed Male, host Brian Goodwin delves into the common pitfalls men face in relationships, particularly the tendency to blame others for personal problems. Brian shares insights on how men can take control of their relationship issues by understanding that the root of many problems lies within their own thoughts and actions. He emphasizes the importance of self-awareness and intentional living, urging listeners to examine the meaning they attach to circumstances and how these interpretations affect their emotions and relationships.Brian discusses the "model" concept, which explains how circumstances trigger thoughts, leading to emotions and actions. He highlights the significance of recognizing and changing negative thought patterns to improve personal and relational well-being. Through personal anecdotes and relatable examples, Brian illustrates how misplaced blame and lack of communication can lead to unnecessary suffering and relationship breakdowns.The episode also covers the "97% rule," encouraging men to refrain from saying most of the negative thoughts they might have, and the concept of "manuals," which are unspoken expectations we have for others. Brian advocates for letting go of these manuals to foster healthier relationships.Listeners are invited to explore coaching as a means to gain clarity and improve their relationships, with Brian offering a free coaching session to help men step out of their comfort zones and embrace personal growth.

In this episode of The Relaxed Male, host Bryan Goodwin delves into the common feeling of being stuck in life and how to overcome it. Bryan discusses the emotional and psychological aspects of feeling stuck, often referred to as mental spin or confusion, and explains how these feelings are rooted in fear and uncertainty. He shares personal experiences of feeling stuck in his own business endeavors and emphasizes the importance of understanding these emotions to move forward.Bryan outlines the concept of indulgent emotions and how they keep us in our comfort zones, preventing growth and progress. He encourages listeners to confront their fears and take intentional actions to break free from the cycle of feeling stuck. By examining our thoughts and emotions, we can identify what holds us back and find motivation to push through the discomfort.The episode also highlights practical steps to overcome the feeling of being stuck, such as conducting thought downloads, setting intentional goals, and finding alternative motivations. Bryan suggests finding accountability partners or seeking coaching to stay committed to personal growth. He emphasizes the importance of living life intentionally and embracing challenges to achieve fulfillment and success.Join Bryan as he provides insights and strategies to help men live life on their terms, overcome obstacles, and build better relationships. Tune in next week as he explores the excuses we make for our struggles and how to address them.Try Coaching - htttps://www.relaxedmale.com/trycoaching

Welcome to the first episode of 2025 on The Relaxed Male! As we step into the new year, it's crucial to reflect on the past year and learn from our experiences. In this episode, I, your host Brian Goodwin, delve into the importance of reviewing the past year to fuel your progress in the new one. We discuss how acknowledging your achievements and setbacks can empower you to move closer to your goals.Reflecting on my own journey with Relaxed Male, I share the ups and downs of 2024, including the challenges and lessons learned. Despite facing obstacles, I remain committed to helping men break free from societal expectations and live life on their terms. This year, I aim to continue growing the Relaxed Male community and refine our message to attract more men seeking to improve their lives.We explore the concept of the four pillars of a "raw ex man"—mind, body, soul, and community—and how strengthening these can lead to a fulfilling life. I also share my personal goals for 2025, including health improvements, expanding my coaching practice, and enhancing my marriage.Join me as we discuss practical steps to achieve your goals, such as setting SMART goals, journaling, and creating vision boards. I encourage you to take action, whether it's by seeking coaching, joining a supportive community, or simply starting with small, consistent steps.Let's make 2025 a year of growth and empowerment. If this episode resonates with you, please share it with others who might benefit from it. Together, we can help more men become the best versions of themselves.

In this episode of The Relaxed Male, we delve into the concept of grace and how it can transform your life in the coming year. As the holiday season wraps up, many of us reflect on family gatherings and the challenges they bring. Host Bryan Goodwin encourages listeners to consider a different approach for 2025 by allowing grace to flow into their lives. Grace, defined as unearned forgiveness, is explored as a powerful tool for improving mental health and personal freedom.Bryan discusses the importance of forgiving others, even those who have hurt us deeply, and how this act of grace can liberate us from the burdens of resentment and grudges. He emphasizes that true grace comes from a place of strength, not weakness, and challenges listeners to forgive not only others but also themselves for past mistakes and failures.The episode encourages men to step out of their comfort zones, embrace forgiveness, and set goals for the new year. Bryan introduces the upcoming "Storm Masters Challenge," a program designed to help men harness their inner strength and navigate life's challenges with grace and resilience.Join Bryan as he guides you through the process of letting go of past grievances, embracing grace, and preparing for a transformative year ahead. Whether it's forgiving a combative uncle or letting go of self-imposed grudges, this episode offers valuable insights into living a life free from the constraints of resentment.

As the holiday season approaches, it's the perfect time to reflect on the past year and prepare for the new one. In this episode of The Relaxed Male, we delve into the importance of reviewing our lives and setting goals for 2025. Host Bryan Goodwin, a certified coach, guides us through the process of self-examination and goal setting, emphasizing the significance of the four pillars of a relaxed male: mind, body, soul, and community.Bryan shares his personal journey with Relaxed Male, discussing the challenges and successes he's faced over the past seven years. He highlights the importance of setting realistic goals and celebrating achievements, no matter how small. By conducting an after-action review, we can learn from our successes and failures, paving the way for personal growth.The episode also explores the significance of having a strong community and the role it plays in personal development. Brian encourages listeners to focus on building relationships and expanding their network, as these connections can greatly influence our success and happiness.Looking ahead to 2025, Brian shares his goals, including losing 50 pounds, attending a conference, and making new contacts. He emphasizes the importance of having a clear vision and the determination to achieve it, while also being prepared for challenges along the way.Join Bryan as he offers insights and practical advice on how to make the upcoming year a successful and fulfilling one, by focusing on personal growth and building a supportive community.https://www.relaxedmale.com/trycoaching

The podcast focuses on the concept of taking one's wife off a metaphorical pedestal in a relationship. The host, Bryan, discusses how men often idealize their wives, creating an unrealistic and ultimately harmful dynamic in their marriages.Bryan explains that when men place their wives on a pedestal, they create an impossible standard of perfection. This idealization actually prevents genuine connection and love. By elevating their wives to an unreachable status, men inadvertently create distance and pressure that makes it difficult for their wives to be themselves.The host, identifying as a recovering "nice guy," shares insights into how this pedestal mentality stems from feelings of unworthiness. Men often believe they don't deserve their wife's love, so they compensate by worshipping her. However, this approach backfires. It makes the wife uncomfortable and creates an unsustainable relationship dynamic where she feels constant pressure to maintain an impossible image.Bryan emphasizes that wives are human beings with complex emotions and changing states. They go through various phases - sometimes feeling sexy and energetic, other times tired and overwhelmed, especially during different life stages like parenthood. When men expect their wives to maintain a constant, idealized state, they set themselves up for disappointment and resentment.The key to a healthy relationship, according to Bryan, is accepting your wife's full humanity. This means allowing her to experience and express her emotions without trying to fix or judge them. It means being comfortable with her changing appearance, mood, and priorities. By removing her from the pedestal and treating her as an equal partner, men actually create space for deeper love and connection.Bryan also addresses the challenge this presents for men, who are naturally inclined to solve problems and take action. He advises listeners to resist the urge to immediately fix their wife's emotions and instead simply be present and accepting.Towards the end of the podcast, Bryan promotes an upcoming workshop called "Storm Master" aimed at helping men improve their relationships by understanding and managing their internal emotional landscape. He encourages listeners to share the podcast with others who might benefit from its insights about relationship dynamics and personal growth.The overall message is profound in its simplicity: true love means accepting your partner completely, without conditions or unrealistic expectations, and allowing them the freedom to be fully human.

This week on The Relaxed Male, we have a special guest, Dawn Wiggins, host of the podcast Dear Divorce Diaries. We dive deep into the world of marriage counseling and explore what couples can expect from therapy. Dawn shares insights on how to navigate the painful journey of divorce and offers strategies to prevent it by fostering healthier relationships.We discuss the concept of conflict avoidance, a common issue many men face, and how it impacts relationships. Dawn explains the importance of emotional processing and the dangers of becoming "comfortably numb" through distractions like work, screens, and substances. We explore how men can step into conflict constructively and create relationships worth fighting for.Dawn shares her experiences with homeopathy and its impact on emotional well-being, offering a fresh perspective on alternative medicine. We also touch on the importance of grounding oneself in a belief system and how it can provide stability during conflicts.Throughout the episode, we emphasize the significance of self-acceptance and understanding repetitive patterns in relationships. Dawn provides practical advice for men to improve their connections with their partners by observing and addressing deeper issues.Join us for an enlightening conversation that challenges traditional views on masculinity and offers actionable steps for personal growth and relationship improvement.Information on Our GuestDawn Wiggins TherapyShe specializes in EMDR, Tapping, Marriage therapy, and psychotherapy. With her offices based in Florida, she does in-person and online sessions. Dawn also is a divorce coach helping women learn to process their thoughts and emotions so that they are able to grow from their experience.Divorce Coaching - https://mycoachdawn.com/Dawn's Therapy Website - https://www.dawnwigginstherapy.com/Podcast: Dear Divorce Diary- https://mycoachdawn.com/divorce-podcast/Dawns Social MediaFacebook - https://www.facebook.com/MyCoachDawnX - https://x.com/dawn_wigginsInstagram - https://www.instagram.com/dawnwiggins/Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/@DawnWigginsLMFTBocaRatonThreads - https://www.threads.net/@dawnwiggins

In this final episode of our series on intimacy, we delve into the realm of physical intimacy. Over the past ten weeks, we've explored various forms of intimacy, including emotional, intellectual, spiritual, experiential, social, creative, conflict, aesthetic, and work. Today, we focus on the nuances of physical intimacy, a topic that often garners significant attention and curiosity.Physical intimacy is more than just the act of sex; it encompasses a range of interactions, from holding hands to sharing a hug. These gestures release chemicals like oxytocin, fostering a sense of connection and bonding. We discuss how societal norms can sometimes hinder men from expressing their emotions, which are crucial for building emotional intimacy with their partners.We also touch on the importance of conflict intimacy, which allows couples to engage in healthy disagreements and grow stronger together. This episode emphasizes that physical intimacy is deeply intertwined with other forms of intimacy, and improving these areas can enhance one's overall relationship.For those seeking to deepen their understanding and practice of intimacy, I offer insights into how to work on emotional, intellectual, and spiritual connections. By focusing on these areas, physical intimacy will naturally follow, leading to a more fulfilling and balanced relationship.Join me as we wrap up this enlightening series and prepare for next week's episode featuring a special guest, Don Wiggins.

What is Work initiative?In this week's episode of The Relaxed Male, we delve into the concept of work intimacy, a lesser-known but vital form of intimacy that influences our relationships both at home and in the workplace. Host Brian Goodwin explores how work intimacy fits into the broader spectrum of intimacy types, including emotional, intellectual, and experiential intimacy. He discusses the importance of effective communication and collaboration with our partners and colleagues, emphasizing how these interactions can strengthen our bonds and lead to personal growth.Brian shares personal anecdotes about the challenges and rewards of working closely with a spouse, highlighting the need for presence and understanding in shared projects. He explains how work intimacy is not just about professional relationships but also about how we share our work experiences and problem-solving processes with our partners. This episode encourages listeners to embrace discomfort as a path to achieving deeper connections and a more fulfilling life.Listeners are invited to reflect on their own work intimacy and consider how it impacts their overall relationship health. Brian also offers a preview of next week's episode, which will focus on physical intimacy, and extends an invitation to try a free coaching session to explore personal challenges further.LinksMini Coaching Session - https://www.relaxedmale.com/trycoachingPodcast 2.0 app - https://www.relaxedmale.com/newapps

In this episode of The Relaxed Male, we delve into the concept of aesthetic intimacy, exploring how aesthetics and intimacy intertwine in our lives. As part of a series on different types of intimacy, We discuss the importance of sharing beautiful experiences with loved ones, particularly spouses, to strengthen relationships. Aesthetic intimacy is about appreciating the beauty around us, whether it's a sunset, a piece of art, or a simple walk with a partner, and how these shared moments can enhance our connections.Bryan shares personal anecdotes, such as visiting Sunset Cliffs with his family and dog, to illustrate how aesthetic experiences can bond people together. He emphasizes the significance of being intentional in recognizing beauty in everyday life and how this can prevent relationships from becoming mundane.The episode also touches on the broader spectrum of intimacy, including physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual, and how aesthetic intimacy fits into this framework. Bryan argues that aesthetic intimacy is a subset of experiential intimacy, highlighting the need for both beauty and ugliness to appreciate life fully.Listeners are encouraged to engage in aesthetic experiences with their partners, to "stop and smell the roses," and to embrace both the beautiful and challenging aspects of life. Bryan also introduces a 4-week challenge starting January 1st, aimed at helping men calm their inner disturbances and improve their relationships.

In this week's episode, we delve into the concept of conflict intimacy, a crucial yet often overlooked aspect of relationships. Drawing inspiration from an article on Choose Therapy, we explore the ten different types of intimacy, focusing particularly on conflict intimacy and its significance in maintaining a healthy relationship.Conflict intimacy, as discussed, is the ability to engage in and resolve conflicts constructively. It is essential for preventing relationships from becoming stagnant and for avoiding the "roommate syndrome." We revisit the various types of intimacy, including emotional, intellectual, spiritual, experiential, social, and creative, and discuss how conflict intimacy intertwines with these aspects.We explore why many people, especially men, avoid conflict due to fears of emotional upheaval and potential negative outcomes, such as impacting sexual relationships. However, embracing conflict can lead to deeper understanding and connection, as it involves sharing emotions, thoughts, and experiences.Drawing insights from experts like Dr. John Gottman and Jason Gaddis, we highlight the importance of conflict in fostering a thriving relationship. We discuss how discomfort is a necessary currency for achieving desired outcomes and how conflict can lead to personal growth and stronger bonds.Listeners are encouraged to embrace conflict as a means of enhancing intimacy and communication with their partners. By understanding and practicing effective conflict resolution, couples can transform their relationships, creating a more fulfilling and connected partnership.

We are exploring the world of Creative Intimacy todayIn this episode of The Relaxed Male, we delve into the concept of creative intimacy, one of the ten types of intimacy outlined by Choose Therapy. As we explore whether creative intimacy is a legitimate form of intimacy, I share my personal insights and invite listeners to form their own opinions.Creative intimacy involves the ability to collaborate with your partner on creative projects, such as making music, writing, or crafting. It requires a shared vision and the willingness to navigate differences in approach and opinion. This process can strengthen your relationship by fostering communication and compromise.Throughout the episode, I discuss the various types of intimacy, including physical, emotional, intellectual, spiritual, experiential, social, conflict, aesthetic, and work intimacy. Each type offers a unique way to connect with your partner, and creative intimacy is no exception.While some may argue that creative intimacy is simply an extension of experiential intimacy, I believe it offers its own distinct challenges and rewards. By engaging in creative projects, couples can learn more about themselves and each other, ultimately enhancing their bond.Join me as we unpack the nuances of creative intimacy and consider its role in building stronger relationships. Whether you're sculpting a clay bust or writing a book together, the creative process can be a powerful tool for connection.

Host BrYan Goodwin, a certified coach, explores the ten different types of intimacy, focusing this week on social intimacy. He explains how social intimacy is essentially the connections we form with others, whether they are long-term relationships or brief interactions with acquaintances like a barista. Brian emphasizes the importance of maintaining these connections as we age, noting that societal changes and personal anxieties often hinder our ability to nurture friendships.BrYan discusses the challenges men face in forming and maintaining friendships, highlighting the societal pressures and personal fears that often lead to loneliness. He stresses the importance of having a strong community pillar, referencing Jim Rohn's idea that we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with. By intentionally building a network of supportive friends, men can improve their mental, physical, and spiritual well-being.The episode also touches on the significance of social intimacy within marriages. BrYan explains how couples often neglect this aspect of their relationship, leading to a lack of connection and intimacy over time. He offers practical advice on how to rekindle social intimacy with a partner, emphasizing the importance of communication and understanding.Throughout the episode, BrYan encourages listeners to step out of their comfort zones and actively work on building and maintaining friendships. He provides actionable steps for improving social intimacy, both in friendships and romantic relationships, and offers coaching support for those seeking to enhance their personal connections.LinksNew Podcast 2.0 Apps - https://www.newpodcastapps.comCoaching - https://wwww.relaxedmale.com/lovebirds

In this episode of The Relaxed Male, we delve into the concept of experiential intimacy, a crucial yet often overlooked aspect of relationships. Experiential intimacy involves sharing and bonding over life experiences with your partner, which can significantly strengthen your relationship. We explore why these shared experiences are vital and how they act as the cement that holds relationships together.Drawing inspiration from a Choose Therapy post on the ten types of intimacy, we focus on experiential intimacy and its importance in creating lasting bonds. We discuss how shared experiences, whether mundane or exciting, can enhance your connection with your spouse. From visiting museums to going on adventures, these activities can help maintain the bond that might weaken over time if not nurtured.We also provide practical tips on how to cultivate experiential intimacy. Whether it's going on a new adventure, trying out a couple's retreat, or simply volunteering together, these activities can bring you closer to your partner. Even individual trips can contribute to this intimacy by providing new stories and experiences to share.Join us as we explore the significance of experiential intimacy and how it can transform your relationship, helping you live life intentionally with your partner. Tune in to learn more about how to strengthen your relationship through shared experiences.LINKSQuestions that will Spark a conversation - https://www.relaxedmale.com/askquestionsIf you would like to reclaim your bride and leave the mediocrity of roommate syndrome behind, then it is time to take the next step.Take The Next Step - https://www.relaxedmale.com/lovebirds

In this week's episode of The Relaxed Male, we delve into the concept of spiritual intimacy, continuing our exploration of the ten different types of intimacy as outlined by Choose Therapy. Having previously discussed emotional and intellectual intimacy, we now turn our attention to understanding each other's spiritual journeys. This episode challenges the notion of being spiritual without being religious and explores how spiritual beliefs can impact relationships.Host Bryan Goodwin shares his personal insights and struggles with the topic, emphasizing the importance of discussing spiritual beliefs with your partner. He highlights how spiritual intimacy can strengthen a relationship, even when partners have differing beliefs. Through personal anecdotes and thoughtful reflections, Brian encourages listeners to engage in open conversations about spirituality, respect differing beliefs, and find common ground.The episode also touches on the significance of traditions and rituals in fostering spiritual intimacy, offering practical advice on how to honor and serve each other in a spiritual sense. Bryan underscores the value of curiosity and understanding in building stronger connections, not just with partners, but with family and community as well.Listeners are invited to reflect on their own spiritual journeys and consider how they can enhance their spiritual intimacy with loved ones. Bryan offers coaching services for those seeking to improve their relationships and invites listeners to connect with him for further guidance.

In this episode of The Relaxed Male, host Bryan Goodwin delves into the concept of intellectual intimacy, exploring its significance in relationships. Building on last week's discussion on emotional intimacy, Bryan questions whether intellectual intimacy is a genuine form of connection or simply a modern construct. He shares insights from various sources, including a book on the pillars of marriage and a website listing ten types of intimacy, to understand this concept better.Bryan explains that intellectual intimacy involves respecting and valuing each other's thoughts and insights. He emphasizes that this form of intimacy is often the first to diminish in relationships, leading to internal arguments and a lack of respect for a partner's ideas. Brian encourages listeners to stop these mental debates and instead engage in open discussions with their partners, allowing for a deeper understanding and appreciation of each other's perspectives.The episode highlights the importance of intellectual intimacy in fostering curiosity, enhancing communication, and building a richer, more fulfilling relationship. Brian offers practical advice on how to cultivate this intimacy, such as engaging in discussions, asking questions, and learning something new together. He also provides a resource with 800 questions to help couples explore each other's thoughts and beliefs.Bryan concludes by inviting listeners to share their thoughts on improving relationships and encourages them to reach out with questions or comments. He also asks for feedback on what listeners would like to know to enhance their relationships, aiming to tailor future content to their needs.Help me by answering questionhttps://www.relaxedmale.com/helpme

In this week's episode of The Relaxed Male, host Bryan Goodwin delves into the complex world of emotional intimacy. Bryan, a certified men's coach, shares his journey of understanding intimacy better to help men improve their relationships. He introduces the concept of emotional intimacy, distinguishing it from physical intimacy, and explains its importance in a healthy marriage. Bryan discusses the various types of intimacy, including intellectual, spiritual, experiential, social, creative, conflict, aesthetic, and work intimacy, and announces a 10-week series to explore each type in detail.Bryan emphasizes the significance of emotional intimacy in marriage, describing it as the ability to express feelings, both positive and negative, and to receive them with understanding. He challenges the notion of emotional validation, arguing that individuals must understand and express their own emotions rather than seeking validation from others. Brian shares personal anecdotes and insights, highlighting the common struggles men face in achieving emotional intimacy and offering practical advice on how to overcome these challenges.Listeners are encouraged to reflect on their own relationships and consider how they can improve their emotional intimacy with their partners. Bryan invites feedback and comments from the audience, fostering a community of men striving for better relationships and personal growth. Join Brian on this enlightening journey to discover the depths of emotional intimacy and its impact on your marriage.Show notes- https://www.relaxedmale.com/what-in-the-world-is-emotional-intimacy/Dont forget to help me see what I may have forgot and tell me what you would like to know that would help your relationship.https://www.relaxedmale.com/helpme

In this episode of The Relaxed Male, we delve deep into the complexities of conflict, particularly in relationships, where disagreements often escalate into more significant issues. I emphasize the importance of addressing these conflicts rather than avoiding them, as avoiding uncomfortable discussions can lead to resentment and unresolved feelings. I explain that conflict itself is not inherently negative but rather an opportunity for growth and understanding if handled correctly.As a certified men's coach, my mission is to help men escape the cycle of being a "nice guy," which often leads to self-sacrifice and relationship struggles. I focus on how men can learn to express their emotions constructively instead of resorting to avoidance or silence. Understanding that emotions are simply vibrations within the body can empower individuals to engage more genuinely with their partners.Throughout the episode, I outline what constitutes conflict, explaining that it often stems from differing thoughts about a shared experience – like a movie that one person loved and the other despised. Recognizing that these differing opinions are neutral circumstances until we assign meaning to them can shift the way we approach disagreements. I encourage listeners to be mindful of their thoughts during conflicts, as these thoughts shape the emotions we experience, which in turn dictate our actions and reactions.I highlight various conflict responses, including avoidance and anxiety, emphasizing the need for intention and awareness in navigating disagreements. By reframing our approach to conflict, we can allow our emotional minds to pause, think rationally, and respond appropriately. I introduce the concept of the "model," which illustrates that our feelings stem from our thoughts, not the actions of others, allowing men to take ownership of their emotional journeys.Additionally, I discuss the importance of understanding our spouses' perspectives during conflicts. I introduce the "four pillars of effective communication," derived from the teachings of Tony Overbay. These pillars stress the importance of not assuming ill intentions, recognizing emotions, seeking to understand before being understood, and avoiding victimhood in discussions. I explain that by adhering to these principles, men can navigate conversations more effectively, leading to healthy resolutions rather than destructive fights.The episode culminates in practical strategies for being present during conflicts. I advocate for being intentional about how we show up in our relationships, as well as the necessity for reflection after conflicts to analyze what went wrong or right. This self-awareness will lead to personal growth and improve interactions with our partners over time.For those who resonate with these insights and seek further guidance, I invite listeners to reach out for one-on-one coaching sessions aimed at fostering stronger, healthier relationships. Ultimately, the episode reinforces that conflict is a natural part of relationships, and how we handle it can either strengthen our bonds or create distance. As I wrap up, I encourage listeners to share their reflections and insights from this episode with friends or family, as the journey of becoming better partners is one worth sharing.

In episode 240 we dive deep into the common issue of 'roommate syndrome' in marriages. Bryan addresses the fading spark that many couples experience after years of being together. He explores whether it's possible to rekindle a marriage and offers practical steps to reignite the passion.Bryan discusses the importance of honesty—not just factual, but emotional honesty—and how to communicate effectively without overwhelming your partner. He emphasizes the need for thoughtful gestures, such as writing love letters and understanding your partner's love languages, to show that you care.Curiosity plays a crucial role in building a strong emotional connection. Bryan advises getting genuinely interested in your partner's likes and dislikes to foster better communication and intimacy. He also highlights the significance of paying attention to your thoughts, as they can shape your emotions and actions, ultimately affecting your relationship.Bryan shares personal anecdotes and practical tips, like the '6 by 6 rule' for hugs, to help couples reconnect physically and emotionally. He stresses the importance of intentional actions and continuous effort to maintain a fulfilling marriage.Whether you're dealing with minor disagreements or major conflicts, Bryan provides insights on how to navigate these challenges and come out stronger. Tune in to learn how to transform your marriage and live a life on your terms.

Marriage is an adventure. If you don't look at it as such then you run the risk of falling into a deep pit much like I did with Pitfall Harry. Marriage is not easy and in the early days can be wrought with lots of emotions and struggles. This is why so many marriages fail before reaching the 10-year mark. You first struggle with the idiosyncracies of the girl you dated. You noticed odd things you at first thought were cute habits of her being weird but now you are questioning if you can put with it her till the end of time. Why is she complaining that you leave clothes on the floor while her makeup has invaded your bathroom sink?There is a lot to marriage for sure. The funny part is that finding out how to divi up the chores is the least of the problems. That is because eventually kids get introduced and your way of life, for a short bit, is upended by the demands of a little life that depends on you to stay alive. Old habits and sometimes dreams get shuffled and relegated to the back burner as you adjust fire.Then on top of all this, you have to try to remember that your wife is still your girlfriend. Yeah, you see her in all her glory of just waking up and with breath that bubbles the paint on the doorjamb. You see her in times of immense vulnerability and she sees you in times of when you aren't the most romantic. Yeah, the random Dutch ovens are funny. There are those times when you and her cling together as you all try to support each other in uncertainty. You divide and conquer the changing of the bed right after your son says he doesn't feel good and erupts half-digested food across your legs while you are readying yourself for bed.So how do you keep the marriage alive and connected? We have discussed ways to keep a marriage connected but what are some of the more common pitfalls that can drain a marriage of its life? What do you not want to do if you don't want your marriage to fade and become another statistic? Here are 9 Pitfalls that will remove respect honor and trust from any marriage.The Victim MindsetIf you have listened to or read anything from this site, you know that victims receive no respect, and rightfully so. Yeah, that sounds harsh until you are trying to repeatedly pick up a victim. Then you realize that they will not take responsibility for their part in the current disaster they are in. The blame is always passed it is never their fault. It is one crisis after another. over and over again. The victim comes running wanting you to fix the problem, then pump their damaged ego up, and be thankful that they chose you to do the work.Now imagine if this was your spouse or worse it is you. You are supposed to be the head of the household and here you are passing the buck like you are the 5-year-old. The victim takes energy and vitality away from those around them. They don't take action to keep the problem from happening again. They just stand there looking to blame someone for the fact that they arrived in the same predicament as before.The victim is a taker. They take the energy drive of their target. They throw away their own self-respect and expect everyone else to prop them up. Stay out of the victim mindset. all that does is send you to the bottom of the trash heap.StonewallingMany times our wife will say something to us that will hurt our feelings. Yes, your wife is very good at creating thoughts that will hurt your feelings. The choice that you have with this is how are you going to respond. Many times she will nag you. This nagging will create thoughts that you are failing at keeping your word or not being responsible. Those thoughts will create feelings of shame and your action will be to shut down and not say anything. That lack of talking is stonewalling. It works, you can just not interact with your wife. That lack of interaction gets her frustrated enough that she just stops nagging you and goes and does something else. Mission accomplished right? Is that action really getting you the results you truly want?Stonewalling will create frustration in your wife. She may start to believe that you don't care about her. You do not want to connect with her anymore She will start to feel isolated and then her mind starts to run and that is where the emotions and thoughts can really cause some damage.Not communicating with your wife doesn't fix anything. Yeah she was bugging you, but why go in the opposite direction of what you actually want? You claim you want to have a stronger relationship with your wife. So why push her away? You know how to alleviate the nagging that she does. Yes, you can do what she asks, but there is a better way. Talk with her. Have conversations with your wife. Not only in the intense times but also in the down times. Stonewalling keeps you away from her more than it keeps her away from you. Believing you can control another personWhen we are married we want to think that the relationship is going to be great. That is until our spouse does something that we find irritating. Then we would like them to stop. We may wish that they do more of something that we do like. Whatever action we would like our spouse to perform sadly isn't in our hands. it is up to them to do so. You can't control them. You can try to manipulate or coerce your wife to do something but is it better if she does it from her own will or yours? I can guarantee that it feels better to you when she does that from her own accord and not from your willTrying to make your spouse happyNow this is something you will hear many women state about their man. He doesn't make me happy. The same thing happens with men too, except we don't voice it as often. We get resentful because our spouse isn't controllable. We just want our wives to make us happy yet they fail at it all the time.However, if you pay attention you will see that your wife struggles with her own happiness. So why would you put your happiness in the hands of someone who struggles with making even themselves happy? This is why one of the best gifts you can give your wife is the absolution of her responsibility to make you happy. Let her know that isn't her responsibility anymore. She doesn't have to struggle with it anymore. You will take on that responsibility.Now she will still have her own thoughts about that declaration and not fully understand it at first. However, she will grasp that you aren't seeing another woman and that you are taking your happiness into your own hands and not playing the victimanymore.Not Being CuriousSadly we stop being curious about our spouse and the late-night talks of random things start to fade. Why? because we stop being curious. We stop wondering about our wife and her thoughts. If you want a strong powerful connected relationship. you have to keep being curious. not blaming but actual curiosity about where she is coming from on a particular action. Why something is as important to her as it is. Letting her say why instead of just believing you know why will fix the hanging dread of disconnection.Dropping Date NightWhen we are dating our wife we set up date nights we make them fun and exciting. They end in romantic romps in bed. That last part is when we want so much so that we know that we are doing good. The problem is that we stop with the work that results in the romps. If you want to have more sex you have to woo your wife and we often stop treating our wife as our girlfriend and that is easy to alleviate when you change how you are looking at your wife.Being able to laughWhy have we as men stopped being light-hearted? Why does everything have to be so darn serious? What if you let up on the seriousness a little and allowed yourself to laugh in front of your wife and kids? What if you took things just a little less seriously?When you can get your wife to smile and laugh because you are being a goofball she can relax and is open to connecting more.Taking words too seriouslyAs mentioned before you are going to hear thoughts from your wife that you'll take personally and these will cause you to feel ashamed embarrassed frustrated or more. This is because you chose to take what she said personally. She may have called yo lazy or worse but you can choose to agree with the statement or not agree and let the pain that comes with those words not even come close to hitting you..Leaving a disagreement unfinished.In times of conflict, it can seem that words and thoughts are flung around like axes and bullets. Even though they can't cause any harm we will allow the thoughts to keep us disconnected. We will pull away the connections we have with our wife. And often sulk to our corner instead of finding a solution no matter how scary it may appear and talking it out till we have a solution, That resolution is important to allow us to reconnect and grow from our experienceMany wonderful times allow you to look at your marriage with fondness. There are times that we also look at our spouse with a thought that is short of fondness. When we do that start looking at when you stopped dating your wife and when you all stop talking. Find a way that you can bring that marital spark back. It's not too late. You just have to start taking actionIf you would like to take your marriage from eggshells to excitement Please take the Next Step and sign up for a free consulting session.

When we have topics of discussion with other people there are times that we may mess up and we start to say words that we don't mean and try to intentionally inflict pain upon the other person. We just are caught up in our emotions and trying to inflict pain on each other. When we are actively trying to destroy the trust and connection we have, the hope of having a better connection is gone. We fall into victim mindsets and fight because we see the conflict at hand being a matter of life or death. How do you stop the emotional destruction that is being inflicted on both parties? One way to do that is to have a do-over.When is it good to have a do-over?When you see that you are going into panic mode.You see that you have made a huge misstep and said something you instantly regret (ie 97% rule)When the participants are moving to their perspective corners for battle.When you see that the conflict of ramping up.Something was misunderstood and you have a better way to say it.What is a do-over?It is when you stop a discussion and ask to try againWhen you are having an argument or a normal discussion that is wearing into territory that is going to be a fight or you realize that you said something that isn't helping the situation at all. You stop the discussion and politely as if YOU can have a do-over.Why is a do-over good for a relationship?Shows you are trying to do better.You are attempting to better how you communicate. YOu are wanting to take responsibility for what you sayHow do you implement a do-over?The moment you realize that your discussion isn't going in the direction of having a better connection you have misstepped and want to try again you can stop the discussion and try once more. If you would like to reclaim your bride and leave the mediocrity of roommate syndrome behind, then it is time to take the next step.Take The Next Step

Bryan recounts how he had been neglecting to mow his lawn in his small town. He previously had someone mowing it for him, but that arrangement fell through. The city eventually sent a notice about his overgrown lawn, and his wife was told it would cost $400 to have the city mow it. Bryan initially reacted with anger and fell into a victim mindset.As he reflects on the situation, Bryan realizes he is making excuses and playing the victim. He acknowledges that he hadn't been trying hard to find a replacement lawn service and recognizes that mowing the lawn himself could actually be beneficial for his health. He discusses how others in town were complaining about the situation, which leads him to contemplate why people feel the need to mow their lawns and societal expectations.The host then describes his shift in perspective, seeing the situation as an opportunity for physical activity and self-improvement. He plans to be more intentional with his time and make changes to his routine. Bryan emphasizes the importance of processing emotions and not staying in a negative mindset, encouraging listeners to step up to challenges rather than avoiding them.Relating the lawn mowing situation to broader relationship issues, Bryan stresses the importance of putting effort into relationships to keep them strong. He promotes a 3-month coaching program aimed at helping men improve their relationships.The episode concludes with Bryan encouraging listeners to share the podcast and avoid the victim mindset. He mentions upcoming live recordings and new ways to access the podcast. The overall message of the episode is about recognizing and overcoming the victim mindset, taking responsibility for one's actions, and using challenges as opportunities for personal growth and relationship improvement. If you would like to reclaim your bride and leave the mediocrity of roommate syndrome behind, then it is time to take the next step.Take The Next Step

Why even have a stronger connection?Better conflict resolution - You will have conflicts and those conflicts can be making or breaking points for your relationship.More trust - When you both know you will not take everything said personally then the trust starts to form.More intimacy -Us guys do like our sexy timeBetter connectionsIt is not personal, it is just someone sharing what they are thinking with the other person. It isn't real it is just a thought. Thoughts aren't as scary as you would like to believe.It's not life and death. It is just talking and at times with the volume turned up a bit.Stop managing the other person's emotions That destroys trustIt's ok if they get upset it is their emotions that were created by their own thoughts.Understand that you and your spouse are just sharing thoughts. https://alchemy-of-love.com/expert-relationship-advice/how-to-communicate-relationshipAsk questions - How else are you going to learn about your wife?Stop trying to be vulnerable with her and just be present - She doesn't want your emotional weaknesses. She wants you to be strong for her and the kids.If she asks how you feel tell her, but don't just throw it all at her for her to try to sort outHow do you have better connections?How you have better connections isn't as easy as just doing it you have to work on your thoughts and get your thoughts and beliefs in order. Because if you don't then you will find yourself in a battle instead of having a discussion that will make your connections stronger. When you are able to have the hard uncomfortable discussions your wife will come to understand you better and you will understand her better too. Then the strength of the connection grows and the marriage that you have wanted from the beginning will start to appear. But it will never happen till you start working on yourself. That takes the next step. If you would like to reclaim your bride and leave the mediocrity of roommate syndrome behind, then it is time to take the next step.Take The Next Step

In this episode of The Relaxed Male, host and certified men's coach Brian Goodwin delves into the character of Peter Keating from Ayn Rand's novel, The Fountainhead. Peter Keating epitomizes the 'nice guy' who struggles with self-identity and decision-making, always seeking approval from others rather than living life on his own terms. Brian discusses how Keating's actions and associations lead to his downfall, contrasting him with the novel's protagonist, Howard Roark, who remains steadfast in his ideals and vision.Brian explores the broader implications of Keating's character for men today, emphasizing the pitfalls of people-pleasing and the importance of living authentically. He draws parallels between Keating's career in architecture and the challenges men face in their personal and professional lives when they fail to assert their own ideas and values.The episode also touches on the dynamics between Keating and other characters, such as his manipulative mother, his genuine but ultimately neglected girlfriend Catherine Halsey, and his complex relationship with Dominique Francon. Brian uses these relationships to illustrate the consequences of not standing firm in one's beliefs and the impact it has on personal growth and success.Listeners are encouraged to reflect on their own lives and consider whether they are living authentically or merely seeking approval from others. Brian offers practical advice and coaching opportunities for men who want to break free from the 'nice guy' syndrome and build more fulfilling relationships and careers. If you would like to reclaim your bride and leave the mediocrity of roommate syndrome behind, then it is time to take the next step.Take The Next Step

Clues that your relationship is failingDreading going homeFighting over little stuffEntertaining the idea of divorceYou may be intentionally spending time apart.Little to no sexYou are blaming the other person for your unhappinessLack of TImeMarried for the wrong reasonsMaterial ItemsLooking to the pastEnding The RelationshipWhy you might end the relationshipWhen you have one or more of the three A'sThese are the key points that trust falls apart so much that it can destroy any chance of reconciliationAbuseAddictionAffairWhen there is no benefit to the relationship anymoreThere has been too much damageThe emotional tank is completely emptyNo communicationExpectations are too highMany times relationships run their course.Going down different life pathsLack of TImeMarried for the wrong reasonsMaterial ItemsLooking to the pastMarriage.comWhy do you hold onSo I want your relationship to end?For the other person's BenefitWhen Hold on to a relationship?You both are willing to work on the relationshipMoney isn't a reason for splitting up unless it is from the 3 A'slIf you believe your life will be better with another personIt wontLeaving to teach them a lessonIn this episode of The Relaxed Male, we delve into the complex and often painful topic of when a relationship ends. Host Brian Goodwin, a certified men's coach, discusses the signs and reasons why relationships may come to an end and explores the critical moments when a relationship might need to end versus when it can be saved. Brian emphasizes the importance of recognizing the warning signs that a relationship is in trouble, such as constant fighting over trivial matters, lack of communication, and the dreaded 'roommate syndrome.' He also highlights the significance of understanding one's own role in the relationship's dynamics and taking responsibility for personal actions. The episode also covers the three major deal-breakers in a relationship: abuse, addictions, and affairs, and why these issues often lead to the end of a relationship. Brian provides insights into how to handle these situations and the importance of trust and communication in maintaining a healthy relationship. Additionally, Brian discusses the importance of living life with intention and how intentional actions and thoughts can help in saving a relationship. He offers practical advice on how to rebuild a relationship by improving communication and understanding each other's needs. Whether you're struggling in your current relationship or just want to understand more about the dynamics of relationships, this episode provides valuable insights and practical advice to help you navigate these challenging situations. If you would like to reclaim your bride and leave the mediocrity of roommate syndrome behind, then it is time to take the next step.Take The Next Step

If you would like to reclaim your bride and leave the mediocrity of roommate syndrome behind, then it is time to take the next step.Take The Next StepWe go through emotions hourly. Those emotions correlate with the different thoughts that we have. It is said that we have around 60,000 thoughts a day. That means that we have around 60,000 emotions a day. Now incorporate the 50-50 principle and you have half of your thoughts are gonna be good thoughts because they generate good emotions and the other half are gonna be bad thoughts that generate bad emotions.Many many times we struggle with negative emotions. We avoid those negative emotions. We get angry or frustrated because we have a thought that we don't wanna have and so we feel bad about that which causes us to have those negative emotions that pile onto other negative emotions, unlike algebra two negatives don't make a positive.Because we avoid the negative emotions, we don't allow those emotions to have their moment and because of that those emotions get stuffed down they get tucked away. This is where we get so many of our assorted problems cropping up. People who experience emotions, but don't know how to handle those emotions. For instance, men who have decided they're not supposed to cry, often take a lot longer to grieve the loss of a loved one. They don't approach The problems from the same direction because they are too busy, avoiding feeling negative.So what are emotions? Why is it important to process those emotions? And how do you process those emotions? What are emotions?In a nutshell, emotions are vibrations that are felt throughout your body. Sometimes those vibrations are pleasant other times those vibrations are unpleasant. This is what makes a positive emotion and negative emotion; it's just how they vibrate within your body.So you have a thought that generates a sensation that is felt through your body. This is why your thoughts create your emotions.Why is it important to process one's Emotions?When you don't process those emotions, you end up reacting to the emotions unintentionally. When you are processing the emotions, you're experiencing the emotion you're going through the emotional life cycle, which only lasts one to two minutes.Many people struggle with the reaction to how short emotions are because they don't realize that they are in thought loops that extend the pain of that emotion.Yet when we process those emotions, we experience the emotion and then the emotion fades. Now, yes, that emotion may come back because we have that same thought again but the strength as to what that emotion is is nowhere near as powerful as it was the first time. And each time you process the motion, it becomes a little more easier to experience. It'll never go away, and we wouldn't want it to go away. Because our emotions are what make humans human.When do you Process emotions?You can process emotions anywhere. I often recommend people start learning how to process their emotions while in their living room sitting on the couch so they can put their full focus into what they are experiencing. That way you understand what thoughts you're having that are creating the emotions you can describe the emotion and give the emotion a name.Yet the best time to process any emotion is when you realize you were feeling it. You feel sadness. It's best to go ahead and process the motion then or first place where it's safe to do so processing anger or fear when you notice that you're feeling a bad emotion. Go through the process and experience that emotion. Let that emotion live its lifespan which is not long at all.How do you process an emotion?Processing emotions is very simple. You just have to be able to understand when you're experiencing an emotion. Many times I will experience an emotion and not realize it. This is the reason why we buffer so much. We buffer because there's an emotion that crops up that we don't want to experience so we turn to drugs or alcohol or video games or Food or porn because we don't want to experience some emotion. It might be the emotion of rejection or the emotion of boredom. These are two of the bigger reasons that we buffer. These are based out of fear, all others can be based on other emotions.To process an emotion and notice that it's happening, the first thing to do is give it a name. Are you feeling sadness? Are you feeling bored? Are you feeling anger, jealousy, powerlessness? What is the emotion that you are feeling?Describe where you feel that emotion. Is it on your head? Is the sensation on top of your head? Is it felt on your shoulders or on top of your shoulders? Maybe behind your shoulders? Is the emotion felt down your back or between your shoulder blades? Maybe it is off to one side or is it in your chest? Is the emotion felt in your chest, or in your stomach? Maybe you are feeling the emotion in your knees or in your thighs? Where in your body are you feeling? The emotion the most? Where do you feel that Vibration is strongest? Then pretend that you're able to hold that emotion in your hands. Now start describing that emotion physically. Does it feel heavy, does it feel light? Does that emotion have a texture? Like sandpapery or scaly or is it glass smooth? Is it hot or is it cold? Is it somewhere between dense or light and fluffy? These are all aspects of an emotion that you can learn to look at so that you can fully experience that emotion as you go.If you are struggling with naming the emotion, there is an app that can provide a lot of insight into the type of emotion you are feeling.Take The Next StepYou can have your relationship dreams come true.You can by taking the next step. You can have a relationship that is fun, loving, and fulfilling. You can have late nights of curiosity-fueled talks. All this is possible when you get coached.Right now I am making a very special offer that will only last for a limited time. If you are interested in Getting coached for 95% off Then sign up quickly cause the space is limited and they are filling fast.TAKE THE NEXT STEP

If you would like to reclaim your bride and leave the mediocrity of roommate syndrome behind, then it is time to take the next step.Take The Next StepIf you want to have a better relationship you have to improve yourself. How are you going to help inspire those around you to be better people if you aren't willing to improve yourself? We all have the ability to influence those who are around us. Jim Rohn said it best. You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. So it stands to reason that those people will also have you as part of their average.When it comes to our relationships, being able to improve ourselves is crucial. Our relationships are important. However, their times when relationships come to an end or we do something that creates strive in that relationship. No relationship is perfect, but we can strive to get better with every interaction with other people.No matter if it is from a fight with your wife or you are going through the loss of a breakup. If you want the best out of the relationship and your life, you can't just sit on your laurels. You have to be willing to work toward an ultimate goal. That goal could be a stronger relationship. A better means of communication. You may decide you want to have a more, secure connection with your spouse.How are you supposed to improve your relationship? Anytime our relationship gets a bit rocky, maybe we have some type of disagreement or other types of conflict, and our connection with that person breaks down. How do we repair that damage? Can we even repair that damage?The answer is yes, you can repair a relationship. You can make a relationship stronger. But it takes effort from you.Now you may wonder why I am putting all the weight on you instead of you and your spouse. That is because you can't control your spouse. The only person you have control over is you. So how do you start having better connections with your spouse in particular And other people as a whole?Work on the basicsas with everything in life, if you have a breakdown of a system, the best thing to do is to go back to the basics. Get simple before you get complex. So for you being a guy wanting to have a better connection with your wife, the best place to start is with the four pillars of The Relaxed Male.Your 4 pillarsI have talked about the four pillars of The Relaxed Male many times. Because they are crucial for a well-balanced man in any scenario that he may face in today's world. The basics of the four pillars allow you to become well-rounded and is a good foundation for you to start any self-improvement.Man's MindYou are nothing if you do not have your mind. This is why improving how you think. Improving how you approach your world is all based on what you know.Many men stop reading stop learning and stop growing shortly after they get out of college. They believe they know all that they need to know they've hated reading and have such a stigma on learning that they don't have anything to do with picking up another book for a very long time.That is a huge detriment to us men. We need to be learning new skills. We need to keep our minds active. Whether that is through hobbies or whatever is currently troubling us your mind is the only way you're going to grow as a person.Realizing when you're doing stuff that is uncomfortable and being OK with that discomfort is needed almost as much as food. The price for your dreams and aspirations is the discomfort.So how do you learn new stuff? A lot of that is through Books. Reading about a topic you are interested in or a challenge you're facing allows for you to get a better insight to what you want to accomplish. Do you get better results when you are willing to read and educate yourself?Besides books, there are plenty of other means of learning in today's world. From Podcasts like the one you are listening to now to conferences to meetups the phrase where there's a will, there's a way is no more evident now than ever all you have to do is decide you want to learn. Man's BodyThe man's body is your health. That old adage if you don't have your health, you've got nothing into a lot of you being able to have that self-improvement that you're wanting. If you want to have a stronger connection with your wife, nothing like getting in shape. If you want to have, the ability to show her you can't protect her and your family from the bad guys. You have to be able to have endurance. You get endurance from exercise. Do you want to show your wife that you're going to be around for the long haul? That is you get regular exercise and eat right.Man's SoulWhat is your calling? What is your purpose? These are often meant as the same thing for, what feeds your soul?  men need a purpose to get out of bed. Men who are listless, angry, lost don't have a purpose, or they have lost their purpose. Yet we need these drivers to ensure that our lives will be fulfilled. Our lives often become empty when we don't have a sense of purpose. Man's CommunityThis is the most important pillar that us men need to focus on. This is what allows us to work harder love deeper and have stronger connections with other people.This Band of Brothers helps you become a better Man. They help you by sharing their lives with you. You acquire a better sense of masculinity when you are around other men regularly. Other points that helpWell, the four pillars of Relaxed mail are great and they are a good foundation to have their other things you wanna do that help you improve your relationships by helping you improve yourself.Failure is goodKnow that anything you try is going to have the possibility of failing. We shy away from failure because it doesn't feel good. It doesn't give us a good sense of pride. It doesn't shine a good light on our ability.However, we learn from failure. We learn better ways of living our life when we fail at it. We learn what type of relationships we want as opposed to what relationships we don't want. We learn what it takes to have a strong connected family that growing up from time to time. You can't be a good friend to other men without offending them and saying things that they don't agree with at different times. Failure offers you the opportunity to grow learn and improve. It's actually better to fail several times before you have success than to have immediate success. This is because you now understand why that success feels so good.Pay attention to your ruminationsWhat is it you're thinking of? When you face a problem and you have a failure what are you thinking about? That is what's holding you back. Pay attention to what you are ruminating over. When you do, you can start understanding what thoughts you need to interrupt.Get Better at Having DisagreementsWe are going to have disagreements with our spouses, our relatives, and our friends from time to time. The key to having a strong connected relationship is actually knowing how to have disagreements and not having them mean whatever you make them mean.Whenever you have a disagreement and you can accept that your spouse, your kids, your friend, your boss, or someone on the street has a different view. You can actually come to understand them better and more fully by having disagreements with them. Doesn't mean you go around trolling other people for the sake of trolling, but when you have open and honest discussions about disagreements, you grow from that experience.Don't run from discomfort. Don't run from the awkwardness of having a disagreement the emotions that you feel are strictly from the thoughts that you have. Get A CoachOne way you can have a better relationship is also by getting a coach. They can help you step through the discomfort and the thoughts that you have that are keeping you from having the relationship you want.

If you would like to reclaim your bride and leave the mediocrity of roommate syndrome behind, then it is time to take the next step.Take The Next StepWe all experience pain at one time or another. Pain can be a physical sensation from a Papercut or it could be from an emotion. The pain that I am talking about today is emotional pain. The feeling that we get from the emotions that we don't like. Emotions, for instance, powerlessness, frustration, fear, uncertainty, insecurity, humiliation, lost, are often viewed as painful and are often avoided.These emotions and more similar to them are unpleasant to experience. Often when we feel these emotions, we want to hide from them. We want to buffer or indulge in some other activity than what we really need to be doing. It's easier to avoid feeling these uncomfortable emotions. Nobody likes feeling lost or feeling anxious about something that they've never done before. Yet we're always doing something new. We're going to have to feel that anxiety if we want to get anything done.Many people want to know how to you get past the emotional pain in their life. The answer is simple, but the work is not easy.Life is 50% pain and 50% pleasure.Life incorporates the 50/50 principle. 50% of our life is going to be a pleasure. It's gonna be great. Those emotions are gonna be wonderful. We're gonna be on top of the world. As we feel these emotions we are gonna be happy and fulfilled. The other 50% of the time we're going to be in some form of emotional pain. A lot of people don't like the fact that there is so much pain in their life So much so that they actually would rather try to bargain the ratio to be 80% happiness and 20% pain. Sadly that just shows how much we resist the thought of our life not going perfectly.No matter how much you resist, you're going to have pain. Then you add the fact that you're using more energy to resist that pain which only amplifies the pain. Also, you're doubling the experience because you worry about the pain. You can see how pain can be such a problem. If you don't know how to manage that emotional pain it can become tremendous. you also see why so many people become overwhelmed simply because they resist and avoid the pain in their lives.So how do you handle the painful portions of life?The way you handle and manage the painful portions of your life is that you allow the pain to be experienced. That sounds scary. I get it. However when you allow the pain to be felt and you're not resisting or avoiding it by buffering and feeling indulgent emotions. You realize that the pain that you're avoiding is just a vibration. Granted that vibration may not feel the best but you're not going to get swallowed by sorrow. You're not gonna drown in self-pity. You're just going to feel a slightly unpleasant vibration.Handling and processing emotions is a skill as with everything else that we do in life. But more so with emotions because so many of us are in emotional childhood. We believe emotions just hit us upside the head out of nowhere. That is a falsity because our thoughts create our emotions.The thought of how horrible the pain we might experience is the very reason why that pain is being avoided. Our worry and our fear are because of the thoughts we have about pain.With practice, we find processing our emotions to get easier each time, we realize what we are feeling. What we are feeling is just the result of a thought.Pain is what you make of itAs with everything that we avoid, the reason we avoid it is because of what we make that thought mean. We see sadness as nobody loves us. We see humiliation as potential death because we're going to get thrown out of our village. We see a choice as limiting our opportunities instead of expanding the possibilities.Everything we have happened to us, we take that personally. A sideways glance in our general direction could mean somebody is interested in us or somebody is disgusted with us. Which one is it? I don't know nor do you know. We just make an assumption.That sideways glance has as much power as the emotion that you're avoiding in your life Why do we avoid pain?The reason we avoid pain is the very reason why we avoid stepping out in front of a bus. It's not that we're afraid of sudden death. We're actually afraid that we're going to live and have to deal with all the pain because of that bus meeting our body.Our brain has a hard time differentiating between physical pain and emotional pain to our survival part of the brain. It's all the same thing if we do something that will get us ridiculed back when we were living in caves that might cause us to get kicked out of the cave. We might be exiled from our village if that happened. Would we be able to gather enough resources to survive? Back in prehistoric times, social approval was needed. We had to make sure we appeased the Chief. We didn't want to step too far out of the norms because we may be viewed incorrectly.Pain doesn't have to feel bad.As mentioned before pain is just the way that we classify some emotions emotions are just vibrations. They may be vibrations. We don't want to feel yet with a 50/50 lifestyle. We don't have the choice. We will have thoughts that create sadness, loneliness, disempowerment, and Self-pity, and we can only experience those emotionsThen you add to the layer that emotions vary on what we make them mean. Therefore you can actually make emotional pain, not be so painful if you choose. There are times when we want to be in pain. Sorrow and grief are two instances of us wanting to be in pain when our grandmother dies. We don't wanna be happy. You want to be sad. You want to grieve for the loss of your loved one. That is you showing love for someone who will not be in your life anymore. This is a very beautiful act that we humans are capable of doing.Therefore, being intentional with your emotions doesn't mean painful emotions are gonna be gone. It means that we choose to fully feel them at the time they happen. That means you can take a painful emotion and wear it as a badge of honor. You can do that all thanks to the thoughts that you have.How do you deal with emotional pain?So how do you deal with and process your emotions? These are emotions that are both good or bad. However, most of the time we need to just process the negative emotions the fear-based emotions, and the emotions that we avoid. So let's look into how you do thisYou start by acknowledging the emotion. he can't tackle the problem if you don't acknowledge that it's there and the way you acknowledge it is by naming it what is that emotion that you're feeling? What is that uneasy feeling in your chest, in your back, in your shoulders, across your midsection that feels like a steel clamp, what is that sensation right now? Name it happiness, sadness, uncertainty, fear, anger, regret, disempowerment, forlorning, lonely, burnout, boredom. What are you feeling as of right now?Describe itIf you could take that emotion out of your body and hold it in your hands, what would it look like? Is it heavy or light? Is it soft or hard? Is it spiky scaly or glass-smooth? Describe that emotion and as much detail as you can, is it hot? Is it cold? As you do this examination, you'll notice that the strength of the emotion starts to fade. This is the processing that we're talking about.Sadly, we often try to make problems bigger than what they really are. The problem with our emotions is the same way. We think they're too big for us to be able to handle and thoroughly process. However, when you start processing and examining the emotions that you feel, you notice that those big scary monsters are nothing more than teddy bears under a blanket.Now most emotions will only last about 1.5 -2 minutes. Yet there are times that you will just have a very stubborn emotion that you can just process away. may time these are bigger emotions that take time to process. These emotions require you to just experience them for the amount of time they are around. You may have to just go through a day or two with that emotion as you examine why you are feeling what you are feeling. This is where a counselor can come in handy especially when you are dealing with emotions that arise from past experiences. Coaches if you are trying to get over an obstacle you can move to the next goal you are aiming for.If you want help with this all you have to do is take the next step. If you would like to reclaim your bride and leave the mediocrity of roommate syndrome behind, then it is time to take the next step.Take The Next Step

If you would like to reclaim your bride and leave the mediocrity of roommate syndrome behind, then it is time to take the next step.Take The Next StepAny question leading to sex.Why We struggle with talking about sexIt requires you to be vulnerableWe take complaints personallyWe have biasesIsn't sex supposed to just happen and always be good?Or you can't have sex like that!Pushback is a threat to our beliefsWe make sex mean somethingWhy are these most intimate topics so difficult for us to talk about? Especially, when it is with the one person we are supposed to be able to openly and freely talk to.What is holding us back from asking about sex and talking openly?JudgedRejectionIt's not comfortable = EmbarrassingWe weren't taught to advocate for ourselvesShameWhat are the hardest questions to ask centered around sex?Some Questions you might want to ask?What did you learn about sex growing up and how did you learn?What would you like me to do?What do you not like for me to do?What do you wish I did more of?Where do you like to be touched, and where do you not like to be touched?When do you like to have sex?What allows you to feel the sexiest?What was your biggest surprise when you had sex?What was your biggest surprise when you had sex with me?Did you ever have an event that negatively impacted what you think of sex?The most challenging question isWould you like to have sex?SummaryThe episode focuses on the challenges men face in discussing sex and intimacy with their wives. The host, Bryan, acknowledges that sex is an important part of marriage for most men as a way to show love and feel loved by their spouse. However, many men struggle when their sex life declines or their wife no longer desires sex as frequently.Bryan outlines some of the main reasons why men have difficulty talking about sex:It requires being vulnerable, and men tend to take any criticism or complaints personally.People have biases and differing beliefs around certain sexual acts like oral sex, bondage, etc. which makes those topics awkward to discuss.There is shame and taboo around discussing sex from societal conditioning that sex is "dirty."Men were never taught to properly advocate for their wants/needs, especially something as intimate as sex.There is a fear of rejection, as men have likely been turned down for sex many times before in the relationship.The host suggests that rather than making assumptions or turning to pornography out of frustration, men need to have open conversations with their wives about sex. He provides example questions to help start the dialogue, such as asking about sexual experiences growing up, acts they would/wouldn't want to try, times of day they prefer sex, and if there are any past negative experiences impacting their sexuality.Ultimately, the most challenging part is simply asking "Would you like to have sex?" But Bryan encourages men to overcome the awkwardness and shame to advocate for their desire for intimacy and connection through sex. He offers his coaching services to help men improve their ability to discuss these topics with their wives. Take the Next Step and Get Coached - https://www.relaxedmale.com/coachingoffer

If you would like to reclaim your bride and leave the mediocrity of roommate syndrome behind, then it is time to take the next step.Take The Next StepSo we have noticed that the lack of intentionality with our significant other has to change. To be able to change you have to know how you arrived in the circumstance you are in now. That is what we are going to be talking about this week. What actions did we take to break our connection?***Warning***Don't fall into the victim mindset here. You may want to say,"Well, she doesn't try either.""She started it""She is just cold""She never liked the marriage to start"or any other excuses. even if she said that to your face, your thoughts are what makes it true. So what was your part in this scenario? When you start being honest that you had a hand in your marriage's doldrums too, you start to see where your power is and you can fix it by changing yourself. Think of the law of reciprocity or the 100/0 principle.You are the leader of the house. Not the boss of the home but the leader and there is nuance as to how a good leader leads.So what did you do to send your loving sex-filled marriage into the frustrating mediocrity of roommate syndrome?Being a know-it-allHas your wife ever reminded you of something you need to do and you said, "I know"? Maybe you step all over her talking with your own thoughts and views? Many times when we are running on unintentional thoughts we will be Mr. Know-it-all. We are in a hurry to get our thoughts sent out before we forget them and we end up forgetting that we want to connect with our wife. So What do we do? Blurt out our thoughts and not show her the courtesy or respect that is needed for a good connected conversation.We don't have to expound all of our knowledge all at once. Our wife believes we can be awesome and smart. She is also awesome and smart so maybe hold back and if needed write the retort down so you can remember it.Try to fix itShe doesn't want you to fix the problem. She wants the opportunity to share her life with you. When she complains about the day she had she's not wanting sympathy as much as she is wanting to share her life.The problem many of us men have is that we take our wife's retelling and make it mean something worse. That she is suffering she's in pain. She is not having a pleasant time and that it reflects badly upon us. Many of us men also have a tendency to become anxious, worried, scared, angry, or some other fear-based emotion That we want to avoid.so instead of listening and connecting with her wife, we want to rush in with our toolbelt and get our wife to be happier instantly. Life doesn't work that way how many times has our wife tried to get us to smile and cheer up and it doesn't work? The same thing goes for her.When we try to fix the problem often, our wife thinks that we don't care about what her day was about. We want to hurry the conversation along so that we don't have to connect with our wives. That is the very opposite of what we want. We want to connect with our wife. We want to have a wonderful relationship with our wife. We know that we have to have a good emotional connection with our wife, but we also don't wanna feel bad. Therefore, we toss all of the work we're doing out the window.Have your phone out at supperWe gripe at our teenagers for having the phone out at times. We really want to connect. These phones that we have today are these wondrous little machines that give us feel-good emotional bumps every second of the day.The big problem though is that when we don't have our phones in our hands, the amount of serotonin and dopamine levels drop which tells our brain that we are bored. Our brain does not like to be bored. It likes that stimulation that it gets from that little rectangular slab of plastic glass and metal. so often when we are being unintentional in our life that phone magically appears in our hand. So what are you do?How do you keep from having that phone out at supper? That's work right there. You have to get over your thoughts of what boredom actually means.To your wife, the phone being out means the same thing as the phone being out to the kids. She interprets you reading your email looking up some piece of trivia or what as you're not interested in her. The same goes around for your wife if she has the phone and you want to talk. You know how that feels so you have to start intentionally paying attention to what your hands are doing while you're waiting for a refill of the bread basket.You can start turning the phone off when you go to eat. You can also take the phone and set it face down on a different table to signify that you don't have the phone. And then start asking questions. Talk to your wife. Don't fix as before, but have deep conversations by asking questions.PornWhen it comes to marriage, we're supposed to have sex on a regular basis. Well, that's what we like to tell ourselves. Yet often as the years go on and kids come onto the scene lovemaking gets relegated to the back of the closet.we get told through the years of all the times our wife has a headache all the times her wife is too cold all the times her wife is too hot all the times she is angry at us all the times that she is got other things on her mind. All the times that she is just flat out not in the mood all those times we get told no add up.Eventually, we start looking at porn. Eventually, we will fall into a victim mindset around porn well I just wanna see someone have sex. I wanna know someone's at least doing it and we use that as an easy to get some type of sexual gratification. However, porn causes major disconnection to our marriage. it's easier to go to a porn site on the Internet than to have a connection with your wife. It's easier to look at fake women that it is to talk to the real woman who is in the bedroom down the hall.You'll hear people say that porn can be addicting. I won't say that, but it is a very easy habit to fall into because of the reward cycles that happen. You can get away from using porn. And you don't have to be ashamed of it. You can step away from the dirty movies. But again you have to have thoughts about how you're going to handle porn and how you're going to improve the sex life between you and your wife.Playing the victimIf you know anything about this site, you know, I am not for the victim. Playing the victim, aren't you no respect? It causes more suffering than it benefits and makes the victim look like an all-around loser.If you want to have a connection with your wife, pointing the blame that you're unhappy at her is going to fix the problem pointing the blame that you're unhappy to anybody else is not going to fix the problem. The only person who can fix the problem is the one who is complaining. Your wife wants a hero, not the victim loser who whines about how everything is not fair.To fix the problem you have to own up to your own shortcomings. You have to own your dirt. This is scary to a natural victim but becomes very empowering as you exercise your anti-victim mindset.Your wife will start seeing you hold your head a little higher as you take responsibility for your actions. You start taking responsibility for where you are in life. And you start changing your trajectory. Not believing what she saysConnection is built on a foundation of trust. And it is very tough to have trust when someone keeps telling you you're wrong. When the person who's supposed to have your back, doesn't believe what you're saying there's not gonna be much connection going on. When your wife is telling you something that happened in her day, interrupting her isn't going to fix the problem if she is talking about something that she sees from her eyes that you're doing telling her she's wrong doesn't help your case.A big part to remember is that she's going off of how she perceives what's going on. The same as your world is based upon how you perceive the world so instead of telling her she doesn't know what she's talking about when she says you never take the trash out, get curious this is when you really need to be curious in the heat of a of an argument ask the questions and start trying to see the world from her eyes.Doing that practicing the four pillars of effective communication actually allow for greater connection and a greater understanding of your wife for those times when she is seeing her world in a particular fashion.Being apatheticMany times in our marriage we won't have the same interest as what our spouse has. There isn't any enthusiasm and we could honestly care less about what Cynthia in sales is doing with her life. Yet to express that apathy to your wife is the same as just pulling out your phone at the dinner table. You have to show her you are interested. You have to show curiosity and how her day went. You can do this by asking questions actively listening also helps, but showing how apathetic you are severs connections, faster than a hot razor blade through butter. Letting date night slideIt's Friday night it's date night. But you really are not kind of feeling good about going out tonight. Rather just kinda stay home and just loaf instead of getting dressed up and taking the wife out. Or maybe kiddos been sick and then the wife got sick and so there's been two or three weeks of no date night. We'll do it next week now that is the crack of roommate syndrome starting.Be intentional with your date nights. Yes, they're gonna be times you're not in the mood to go out yet go out. It's the small investments in your relationship that pay out in spades.Do those little things that don't seem to matter. We're married. I don't need to date my wife anymore. That's where you're wrong. You need to date your wife even more after you're married than when y'all were single and dating.Being vagueMarriage is about the connection. And those connections require specificity. So being vague transmits a lack of interest and also a bit of secrecy. Are you hiding something from your wife? What is it?Women tend to bend to the worst possible outcome. When they start worrying, they get out of control at times. If they don't feel they can trust you they're going to pull away that pulling away is going to disconnect you from each other.Go into details when you're talking about today. This is what your wife wants to hear. When she wants you to open up, she wants you to open up with your day. She doesn't necessarily mean your emotions. She wants to know the details of your day. Stop being vague about what happened at work and start throwing those details at her.Manipulate her emotionsThis one is for the nice guys. I get it you are scared of your emotions. Whether you want to admit it or not, your wife's emotions are just as scary as your own. But let her have her emotions. You have your own and yes, they are not very comfortable at times. However, if you want a good connection with your wife, you have to let her experience her on emotions. When she's mad at you being OK with her being mad at you doesn't mean that the marriage is over. Just means that she is not happy with an action word that you said.We have to stop trying to manipulate our wife because her emotions matter to her she may not like them and she's gonna do things that cause her to avoid her own emotions, but let her cope with her emotions and you cope with yours.Don't talkWhen relationships really start to crumble, and roommates syndrome has got its claws dug deeply into a relationship. The big indicator is when you aren't talking with each other anymore.This lack of talking can stem from too many fights the avoidance of fighting the manipulation of each other‘s emotions The lack of communication is a desperate sign because both sides are pulling away and there is hope that the relationship can get better but it's going to take effort lots of intentional effort on your part. Being OK with trying something and failing and having to step back and Try again.Not intentionally spending time with each otherMany times us getting together requires that you actually have to schedule time. Sounds weird sounds so unromantic but yet when y'all were dating, you scheduled date night. He scheduled other parts of your life. So scheduling reconnection time is also critically important for you and your wife.This can also go for scheduling sex. Now, many people cringe at that thinking that sex should be this spontaneous event that erupts yet ask yourself why has the sex died down? 90% of the time it's because other things have come up y'all gotten busy you hadn't connected. Life happens.Being in emotional childhoodWe talk about people being reactionary and being somebody who reacts to circumstances and an emotional way and often runs around, believing that emotions just happened to them. They believe that emotions just float through the air and you somehow just run face-first into them.This is emotional childhood. When you think emotions just happen to you without any cause. You are unbearably just a victim of your own emotions. When you are in emotional childhood, that's what you're thinking. Emotions don't just happen to you. Emotions require thought to happen before you can feel any type of emotion. When you comprehend the fact that your emotions come from you you enter an emotional adult and you are able to understand why you feel happy sad or whatever.When you are in an emotional childhood though you want to think that your wife makes you happy or your wife makes you sad. If your wife is in emotional childhood, she thinks you're supposed to make her happy and that is impossible. You have no power to make your wife happy, you can show her Waze that you love her and she then has the choice to believe that thought you shared or rejected out of hand. This is why so many marriages fail these days they think their spouse is supposed to make them happy yet their spouse isn't even happy if they can't figure out how to make themselves happy how are they supposed to make you happy?Overly criticalDogging on your wife, your wife's friends or anybody else who is close to your spouse is a good way of breaking up a connection. Because if you're critical of those around her, how critical are you of her? You both are supposed to know everything about each other so if you're critical about your wife's friend, that's probably going to tell you that she's been having thoughts that you're overly critical of her.Being critical of other people causes them to close off from you. Why do they want to open up to somebody who's just going to be very critical of what they think of what the hell they act of what they do? Using her as your therapistAnother way, you separate the emotional connection you want from your wife is by using her as your therapist. No, you're not supposed to use your wife as an emotional dumping ground. That's one thing a lot of counselors get wrong. That you're supposed to open up emotionally to your wife. You're supposed to tell her all your fears and your concerns and the times that you're anxious and everything else that's farthest from the truth. Women want to know about your day they want the details of your day. They want to know how your day went in gritty minutia. The more they see you caring, you show them that you want to include them in your day.They don't want emotional vomit thrown upon them. When you are dumping all your emotional baggage upon your wife, you're not helping build a connection you're tiring her out she's supposed to be able to come to you to dump her emotional baggage. You're the man you're strong enough to handle it. you're also supposed to have other men around you so that they can help you with that load your band of Brothers your community is where you do your emotional unloading and the other man in your group will help you do that in a healthy manner not just stand around going well I feel really anxious today doesn't help you become a better husband for your wife telling her how scared you are of every little thing around you And how your dad was not caring of you doesn't help her. See you as a better man. Talk to your band Brothers about the emotional stuff. Take your wife's emotional baggage from her and share it with your men. They will bring positive masculine energy to you to be able to share with your wife and kids.

After 10 to 20 years of marriage, you may notice that the roommate syndrome has crept in and has set up Shop right in your bedroom. You may be noticing that there are a lot of things that are just kind of normal. Maybe you think that's how things just are. However, this stuff can change. The connection that you are used to hasn't gone it's just not being used. Your emotional connections are a lot like a muscle and you have to exercise it to keep it strong.When we have that strong connection in our relationships, we experience a more fulfilling relationship. That connection is what our wife needs to be intimate with us. We often stand around, wondering why she doesn't want to sleep with us anymore or why the sex has faded away to being once every three months when it used to be we were rocking our socks off every other day. The answer is, that we've let life happen. We've had arguments and we've said things that hurt each other's feelings. We've lashed out because we were hurting emotionally. It means that we would rather feel emotionally safe and not feel hurt as much. Therefore, we withdraw.That withdrawal pattern amplifies in distance as the years pass. Add kids and other responsibilities and eventually that smoking hot bride that we had isn't putting on teddys and garter belts for us anymore. She is now in fuzzy pajama pants, a long nightgown sweatshirt with fuzzy socks. You can't remember the last time she touched her makeup and getting her to go outside amongst people in public is like pulling teeth. When you look back you see and remember how adventurous she used to be. That lack of connection and that lack of communication is what created the problem you're experiencing now.Is there any hope? Should you just give up on this marriage and go find a younger model? I would dissuade from the divorce thoughts because you have years of connection. You need to have a reawakening to see that wonderful, beautiful, fulfilling marriage you both still have. The Key is you just have to work at rebuilding that connection now.Start with the end in mindWhen it comes to building a strong connection, you want to start with the end in mind. That means stepping back and examining what does a connected intimate marriage actually look like. Yes, it's gonna have more sex for sure but what else? Are you ok with the possibility that the sex may never come back to what it was before? What does that look like? How do y'all reconnect each night before bed? How do you set aside intentional time for your wife? How do you foster a deeper connection during the hard times? What does your life with a deep meaningful fulfilling connection look like to you? That is the important part that we miss. How do we go about having a great fulfilling marriage? These are all questions you want to ask regularly.Many times we step through life without intention so much so that we don't even think of what we want our marriage to look like or how we want to act toward each other. We think that the other person is supposed to be bringing us joy, happiness, and fulfillment, but that is not the case. Your wife sadly cannot bring you happiness. Your wife cannot make you happy in any form. She doesn't have that power. The same goes for you. You are not able to make your wife happy. No matter what you say or do, you're not gonna bring joy or fulfillment to her life. All of that is based upon your thoughts, so you have to first understand and examine and do the thought work on what you believe a good healthy marriage is about.How do you think You behave when there's a crisis how do you show up to that circumstance? Look in examine how you want your life to be from every possible angle and then look and see where you don't show up like that and why do you not show up like that? What are you making your wife saying she's got a headache mean about your relationship? you want to make sure you have those thoughts processed. Make plans as to how you would like to show up for your wife. Have a vision of how you will be. Don't worry about your wife. You have no control over her.Understand your why and want to change.What is it about your marriage that is unfulfilling? That's a great question to ask, isn't it? Can you answer that question honestly to yourself? What part of that scenario is your fault? That's a big one if you're able to answer that. You're gonna be well on your way to finding answers and being able to change your marriage for the better, if you can see how you had a hand in creating this roommate syndrome.The next part of your marriage that you want to examine is why you want to change. Yeah, the sex may not be as frequent as you would like, but that is just one aspect of a beautiful marriage. If all you can complain about is that you're not getting as much nookie as you want, then other issues and that is a little bit more work. I would recommend that you look at your beliefs around marriage and sex.Look at your "why" and examine that "why". Come to understand the reasons around why you want to better your marriage. That "why" is going to be your motivation. You are going to have rough spots as you make changes in your life. When it's not going the way you wanted it to go you will need to turn to your "why". You've told your spouse that you're gonna make changes in the past. You probably have told her that you were going to do any number of things that have never actually happened. This is because if you want her to change, you gotta show her how dedicated you are to that change. That dedication may take years. It's not gonna be one week down the road for darn sure. So you have to lean on your "why". Why do you want a better marriage? Why do you want stronger connections and stronger communication with your wife? When you have that "why" you'll be able to press through those difficult times. Other people just give up and revert back to their old comfortable ways, but not. you because you know why you want a better marriage.When you have a why you can step into having a better relationship with your wife. You can do so with full knowledge and intention as to the direction you're going to take your life and your family.How are you going to intentionally improve your marriage?Answer that question as honestly as you possibly can. That's because it's gonna take all of your intentionality to improve the connection in your marriage. It's going to take intentionally going to your wife sitting down and talking with her regularly. It's gonna take you intentionally sharing your day with her no matter how dull and boring you think it is.When you start becoming intentional in your actions you're going to get better results. Are you going to still screw up? Oh hell yes, you are. You're gonna mess up more times than you get right. As long as you are trying and you're moving forward, and you're examining what you've done with intention, you will see where you've messed up. Those problems will be easier to spot and change. You will make your life and your wife's life better.Layout your plansWe like to think that we can play things by ear. We can adjust. We have more freedom when we can make changes on the fly. Making plans and examining those plans change the results a lot more than just playing it by ear. Executing those plans is your road to success. If you don't know where you're going, are you going to get there? If you don't know where you wanna wind up how are you even know if you're close? You have to make plans with your wife.Every Saturday at 8 o'clock, I'm going to have a conversation with my wife.Every evening at 6 o'clock me and the wife are going to go for a walk.Every Tuesday and Thursday I'm going to wash the dishes.I am going to buy flowers on Friday For my bride.List out what you want to accomplish. Then stick to those almost as religiously as you can. Yeah, there's gonna be times that the's kid's have an event is on Friday so you may not be able to go out for steak night. However, if every Friday night is date night, then you pretty much will nail every Friday night as being steak night.Treat those date nights seriously. Maybe Saturday nights are your date nights now. Therefore, you start intentionally getting dressed up. Go two levels better than what you normally dress. Put on some cologne. Add some deodorant. Wash the undercarriage and go out into town with your wife and don't expect anything in return for the adventure. If you're expecting something in return that's called manipulation and you're breaking the connection even more.Work on yourself, not on your wife.The biggest part of improving your connection with her wife is to not try to fix her. If you think the problem is her, then you need to step back and examine your part of the scenario. She is withdrawn. She's not putting out she's not wanting to open up, my response would be what did you do to that. I get this is a difficult question to ask because we don't want to say our Rose our fault but they are. Now could it be that we have been trying everything and our wife has had an affair? Yeah, there is a chance that that's happened, but there is a bigger chance that she lost the emotional connection thanks to roommate syndrome and she just happened to find a guy who fit the Bill who makes her feel alive again. So you have to face up to the very uncomfortable fact that it's not 100% your fault, but you did play a part in perpetuating the breakdown of that connection. This statement isn't a means to bring upon self-hatred in any way, but when you can be honest with yourself, you're going to be more willing to make the needed changes and put in the needed effort to fix what is broken in your marriage.That doesn't mean you start using your wife as a therapist either. That's what your band of Brothers is about. You see our wives are not supposed to be our therapists. Our wives are not wanting us to open up emotionally. They do not want us to vomit our emotional feelings all over them. They want to be able to pass their negative experiences and their negative emotions over to you so that you can turn them into positive emotions again. They can't do that when you're throwing all of your negative experiences at them.The secret to what women want from us is the one thing that guys don't enough of and that is talk about the minuscule minute boring details of our day. When they want us to open up, that's what they're talking about. You opening up your life events to them. That's why we struggle as men. We struggle as hard as we do. Because we're opening up in the wrong way. Women want to be involved in our lives. Step back and look at how your wife talks to her friends. They go into detail about their day what they're feeling what they're seeing. What they experiencing. Look at the same scenario that they're describing. There is this mountain that's got three really big large jagged cracks that go down the length of the mountain and it's just so majestic when the sun hits it at a particular time of the day and it turns into a bright, fiery orange colored glow. While we just say we saw a big mountain and it was cool to see. These are big differences that help them feel involved in your life. That is what they mean when they say they want you to open up.Work on your four pillars of Relaxed MaleThink back, to when you and your wife first married. You were young you had dreams and ideas and passions that you were going to conquer the world. What changed between then and now? That Dr. that passion doesn't burn nearly as hot as it used to if it's burning at all if it's even smoldering, how big is your friend now? Maybe one good friend maybe one guy you call a friend but you're not sure. How are you improving your life? Are you still in this great shape now, as you were 20 years ago? These are all things that attracted to us. So why do you think our wife is not attracted to us now?Man's mindYour mind is the most important tool that you have. It's what is needed for you to have a fulfilling relationship with your wife. It is also what you need to be a good dad for your kids. Your mind is tied to you. Yeah, so many of us men choose to not Exercise our minds at all. We would rather zone out on television games or anything else than continue to feed our minds. Men as soon as they graduate from high school cut their reading amount in half and then they continue to decrease as they go further in their education and college to where they cut down to almost 90% of the reading by the time they are out of school, we become smarter from the knowledge we receive in books, podcasts, lectures, and conferences. And yes, some of these cost money but others are free.Most men learn the most from books. Knowledge has been passed down from generation to generation because of books. Yeah, ask people why they don't read all I fall asleep if I start reading well yeah you will. If you tell yourself that enough do not fall asleep, watching television or watching a movie? Because the movie is shorter that can be some of it yeah but when you are reading, you can take that as a point of pride.The interesting part about reading though is that you actually don't need a book anymore or better term you don't have to actually read the book anymore. You can have other people read the book to you. So you can grab the knowledge for whatever topic interests you. And consume it while you're mowing the lawn why are you doing dishes folding towels or whatever another means of being able to learn some more is through podcasts like the one you're listening to Other podcasts can help you in several fields that you like to know about. Some conferences are on topics that also write up your interest.Becoming smarter, expanding your knowledge, and challenging your mind so that you don't become fixed on just one style of thought. You will fall behind if you don't keep your learning up you can't find new ways to have stronger connections with your wife unless you have new knowledge you can share with her. Work on The Man's Mind Pillar and see how much of your world opens up.Man's BodyThere's a good chance that when you were 25 you're in a lot better shape than you now as 35, 45, or even 55 years old. Now this can be because of a decrease in testosterone that we get as we age. It could also just be that our work has us sitting for 12 hours each day, and many times we don't change our eating habits that we used to have when we were young dumb kids. This has gotten us into trouble because we have to be able to show our wives that we can protect them and we cant if we are out of shape. Many of us when we walk up a flight of five steps, and by the time we get there, we're huffing and puffing through our mouths. How are we going to protect our loved ones when it comes to hand-to-hand combat?We show our wife that we care about her and that we're willing to stay around for the long haul when we have to have a healthy life. Now it doesn't mean you have to go vegan. No, it doesn't mean you have to go strictly carnivore, either. It means practicing moderation. Eat the right amount of meat. Eat the right amount of fruits and vegetables. Eat the right amount of grains. Drink plenty of water. Better if you abstain from smoking and drink alcohol in moderation too. You will live a healthier life if you are practicing moderation in every aspect.If you don't, then you wind up developing diabetes and you can't stand on your own 2 feet when you've had one amputated so you have to take care of your body. so that you can't take care of your wife and kids. You have to always work on the Man's Body Pillar for the benefit of those you care about.Man's SoulWhat gets you out of bed in the morning? Is there something in your life that you cannot see yourself not doing?You see we men need purpose. We need a sense of direction. These are the driving factors of what keep men, young, healthy, and vibrant. Men who work and take immense pride in what they do. Yet these same men shrivel up and pass away once they lose that sense of identity. Men live longer, healthier, happier, more fulfilled lives, when they have a wife, somebody they can protect and care for and nurture. Yet if a man lives longer than his wife. He will often end up passing within five years of her dying, because those men had their purpose. That man had his "why" and as soon as that "why" was taken from him there was no need to keep going on.What is your sense of purpose? What is it that you like to do that you cannot stand to have anybody else getting your way of doing that? If you have one of those burning desires, that light will shine in attract other people to you that will shine and attract your wife to be closer to you, if you don't have that why you become just a warm body with little to no life in them. So what is your purpose? If you don't know then that could very well be your purpose at the moment. FInd your purpose.To draw people, like your wife, into your world having your soul shine as bright as possible means you want to feed your soul and that is what the man's soul pillar does.Man's communityQuite possibly the most important pillar of a man's life is a man's community pillar. How many friends do you have that you can turn to on a moment's notice? How many of those friends do you see on a daily and weekly basis? How many of these men do you know beyond being just a good friend?Men need other men in their lives. To be able to refresh their masculinity they need other masculine men in their lives. Look at the men who you know that congregate at coffee shops, the old Dairy Queen, and the coffee cup cafés. These old men are often farmers, and meet regularly day in and day out. It may not seem like they're talking about much other than the normal humdrum run of the day. Yet, what they're doing for each other is ensuring that they bring home the masculine energy to their family. That masculine energy is positive and uplifting. It is caring, that men become frazzled beaten, and alone. Even if we do have a wife and kids, we cannot go without having other men in our lives.Get honestly curiousOne of the greatest ways that you can help build a connection with your wife doesn't involve long soliloquies about how she means the world to you. It doesn't require you to stand up and profess your undying love for her. It involves lowly questions. That's all. Ask simple questions about what your wife is saying.Asking questions does two things, one it shows your wife that you're paying attention. We all like to know that the person we're talking to is actually paying attention to us. The best way to do that is to ask questions about what they are saying. Yes, this does mean we have to pay attention to what our wife is talking about. I will agree that sometimes she throws in a lot of details about stuff that we could care less about. However, if we want our wives to understand that we do care for her, those details are important to her. That is how she communicates by talking about the little details that happened in her day about the weird radioactive green candy wrapper that was stuck to the bottom of her shoe or talking about the person who was trying to put on their makeup in their car that almost ran her over, the makeup that she was using doesn't match her complexion.When your wife talks about particular problems, get details from her about it. Pay attention to what details she gives you. It shows you what's important to her and helps you to come to understand your wife even more. Understanding and those questions will help bridge that connection together to be tighter, stronger, and more resilient than any other exercise you can doListen don't fixNow, guys, we are guilty of this, especially the nice guys. The nice guys can't stand when our wife is feeling any emotion that causes us to feel uneasy. So if she's upset, we're gonna try to find ways to get her to stop being upset not because of her being upset, but because we don't like the anxiety and the uncertainty that we feel because she is upset.When we jump in awe and try to fix the problem, we're not fixing the problem. We're manipulating the circumstances. We're manipulating her emotions were manipulating not helping so you have to be good with your own emotions. Except that you're going to feel uneasy, sad, anxious, angry or whatever it is that you feel. You may feel powerless, and you have to be OK with it. So that you can help your wife by listening.That is the key to not fixing your wife. She just wants to be heard. She wants to hear what is happening in your life and she wants to have equal opportunity to share her life with you, when she feels like she has a good connection with you, her clothes will have a higher possibility of falling off for you. The sex comes from the fact that she can trust you emotionally. When she knows that her emotions are not going to cause you to tailspin into Mr. Fix-It mode, she will be happier to share her emotions with you. The more her emotions are shared with you the safer she feels with you. The safer she feels with you the more chances we get the intimacy that we want in our marriage.Take actionFinally, after you've made your plans and you've decided what actions you want to take then it's time for the hard part. This is the taking action you wanted. You wanna walk with your wife every day at 6 PM well be OK with missing the football game if it happens to be running at 6 PM, and be OK with missing the evening news. If you want to walk with your wife at 6 PM don't try to compromise with yourself on anything other than what the action is. When you do that you fall out of integrity with your own self. Then that lack of integrity shows up in other parts of your life. Above all else to self be true and you have to be true to yourself. Are you truly OK with your wife being upset? If you want her to be emotionally trusting of you then yes you have to be OK with her being upset not rushing to fix the problem if you want her to be able to share her life with you, you have to share your life with her. You have to study. Good communication skills. If you don't think you have good communication skills that's where you incorporate the man's mind pillar, you're showing her that you are getting better and that you're making an effort if you're trying the more that you do the more of a connection you develop the more connection the better marriage. Take The Next Step- https://www.relaxedmale.com/coachingoffer

You may have heard me talk about how our minds are like computers. You get out what you put in. There are many instances of this from getting respect you have to first give respect. If you want peace in your life you have to first give peace. Our Bodies are also like that Are you in shape or are you an example of soft living? Do you eat nothing but vegetables or are you an omnivour? Do you exercise? Do you lift heavy objects and throw them around your yard? What you are doing and how you feel has a bit to do with what you are powering your body with. Some men do like to power their body with cigarettes and coffee and while that will work for a while it won't be long till you have problems with what you are putting in. Now. do you go to the extremes and be Mr. Healthnut? No Moderation is the key. Our projects are like that. Are you putting time effort and money into your projects or are you just doing some stuff hoping that it will eventually take off? If you aren't putting the needed effort into your project they will not reward you with the desired outcome. Our relationships are also like that Do you want kids that are happy to see you? How about a marriage where the wife is happy to see you? When the kids go to bed is she happy to get undressed for you? What are you putting into the relationship> are you putting a lot of self-defeating thoughts or are you bringing good healthy masculine energy to the relationship? We often come home and proceed to sit on the couch and watch television. Yet what would your relationship be like if you were to become interested in your wife's world? All of our relationships are like these. Now are we to act like women when we meet each other? No, we are men but we have to contribute to the relationship for it to grow. Yes we do have those long-time friends whom we see each other and we can pick up right where we left off but many more require care and diligence to nurture and grow.   Links Get a New Podcast App Summary The main premise of this episode is examining the principle of "you get what you give" and how it manifests in different areas of our lives. The host, Brian, a certified men's coach, discusses three key examples where men often fail to put in enough effort or quality "inputs", resulting in poor "outputs" or undesirable results. The first example is our bodies. Brian explains that our bodies function like computers - the inputs (thoughts, beliefs, actions) determine the outputs (health, weight, energy levels). If we feed our bodies junk food and have negative self-talk, we'll get poor physical results. He cautions against going to extremes like strict veganism or carnivorism, as moderation is healthier. The words we tell ourselves about our bodies become self-fulfilling. The second example is our projects, goals, and aspirations. Many men don't put in the consistent, devoted effort and problem-solving required for their passions or dreams to truly take off. We hope for success with minimal work, but it doesn't happen that way. Brian stresses facing the mental obstacles and unhelpful thoughts that hold us back from applying ourselves fully to our desired endeavors. The third key area is our relationships - romantic, familial, and friendships. The quality of energy, nurturing, love, curiosity, and work we put into our relationships is exactly what gets reflected back to us. Putting in sarcasm, criticism, neglect, and lack of communication breeds problems and disconnect. Unresolved conflicts pile up, leading to roommate-like situations lacking intimacy. However, nurturing with love, open communication, and true effort yields loving, fulfilling relationships. For struggling relationships, Brian advises doubling down on efforts through vulnerable communication, curiosity about your partner's inner experience, and doing the inner self-work. For career struggles, working on fostering good professional relationships is key. The overarching solution is to put high-quality "inputs" or effort into the four pillars of life: body, mind, community, and soul. Our thoughts ultimately create our reality, so being mindful of our self-talk and inputs is crucial. Brian offers his discounted one-on-one coaching services to help men identify their ideal dream life and make a plan to put in consistent inputs across the key life areas to ultimately get their desired outputs and results. The main takeaway is that the quality of what we get out of our health, goals, and relationships is a direct reflection of the quality and quantity of what we put into those areas through our thoughts, beliefs, actions, and efforts. Applying this "you get what you give" principle is key to transforming one's life experience. 00:00:00 Introduction 00:03:42 The Three Spaces 00:07:35 Body and Mind 00:12:22 Nurturing Relationships 00:18:47 Input Equals Output 00:21:39 Putting in Effort 00:23:24 Closing Words

With much of life, we can either float down the river of life or we can steer our life to where we want to go. The difference is that when we use intention we get closer to where we want to go sooner than if we just drift. Lack of intention is where you hope you arrive at your desired destination. You are just going through life and often unintentional people come across as if they are asleep and don't put much thought into why they are doing what they are doing. They often will find these people blaming external events and not that they had any hand in creating the results they are facing. People who are going through life with emotional childhood are living life unintentionally. They see emotions as things that just happen and don't want to apply the fact that your thoughts create your emotions. What is living with intention? Deciding how you are going respond behave approach any circumstance ahead of time. But what if you don't know? review your actions and make decisions Why we don't live with intention? It's scary We are responsible Where do you start? Start by making a decisions Then plan out how you are going to reach those results Take action Take the Next Step Get coaching for 95% off Summary The episode is about the power of intention and living life intentionally rather than just drifting through life without direction or purpose. The main points covered are: What happens when we lack intention in life - We end up like a boat without a rudder, just floating aimlessly and likely crashing into things or running aground. Many people live this unintentional life, making decisions without much thought, and ending up broke or unhappy. Benefits of intentional living - When we live with intention, consciously deciding how we want to live and behave, we can steer our lives in the direction we want rather than being at the mercy of circumstances. Examples of intentionality are deciding ahead of time how you want to be as a parent, how to react when your teenager scratches the car, and choosing a career path thoughtfully rather than defaulting to something. Challenges of intentionality - It requires taking responsibility for our choices and actions. Many avoid this because it's easier to just drift than make hard decisions. How to live intentionally - Examine your life, decide how you want to live, set goals aligned with that vision, and take active steps every day towards those goals. Course-correct when you fail to live up to your intentions. The alternative of unintentional living - Living reactively, spending frivolously, blaming others/systems for your circumstances. Ending up broke, unhappy or crashing against the metaphorical shore. ( 00:00 ) Introduction to The Relaxed Male  ( 02:18) The Power of Intention  ( 00:02:53 ) Understanding Intentionality in Life  ( 00:06:37 ) The Impact of Intention on Life's Path  ( 00:07:43 ) Being Intentional as a Parent  ( 00:09:40 ) Consequences of Unintentional Actions  ( 00:14:31 ) Overcoming Fear of Intentionality  ( 00:16:59 ) Making Decisions for Intentional Living

In relationships, we often will slide into a form of comfort routine that is called the Roommate Syndrome The Roommate Syndrome Where sparks go to smolder. Why does this happen? past disagreements It is easier Rejection free   How to rekindle the spark Know what the roommate syndrome is about. Start with the end in mind Much like the word rekindle you have to use kindling Kindling is a small flammable material that you can use to grow an ember into a bonfire. It starts with the small stuff Rediscover the silly you 95% Off Coaching Offer   Summary Here is a detailed summary of the key points from this podcast episode: The episode discusses the "roommate syndrome" that can happen in marriages, where the spark and passion fades over time. The host, Brian, explains that this happens because of our unintentional thoughts and mindsets over the course of a long-term relationship. He notes that as couples get older, their sexual frequency and intensity naturally declines compared to when they were younger. This can lead to feelings of disconnection and the "roommate syndrome" setting in, where the relationship feels more like living with a roommate than an intimate partner. The host explains that this happens for a few key reasons: Women tend to be more mentally/emotionally oriented when it comes to sex, needing more foreplay and mental preparation, compared to men who are more physically/visually driven. As life demands increase for women, sex can become lower on the priority list.   Couples stop making the effort to reconnect and be playful/adventurous like they did when dating. Avoiding difficult conversations about the lack of intimacy also contributes to the problem.   Men become afraid of rejection when consistently turned down for sex, so they stop initiating and turn to less fulfilling outlets like porn. The host emphasizes the importance of open communication between partners to find solutions. This may involve compromises, exploring new ways of being intimate, and rediscovering the playfulness the couple had early in the relationship. He encourages men to focus on becoming the best version of themselves, which can reignite their wife's interest. Overall, the episode highlights how the "roommate syndrome" is a common issue, but one that can be overcome through intentional effort, communication, and rediscovering the fun and silliness that used to characterize the relationship.

What does the world look like when you are curious Why it is good to get curious You see more out there You see what is possible Better at problem-solving You are more relatable More creative More Fulfilment Strengthens relationships Applying those to your relationships You understand your spouse or friend more You learn and discover more Curiosity helps you to connect even more it deepens the intimacy with your spouse Want to learn how to have more curiosity in your relationships then take the Next step?     Summary The main topic of this podcast episode is the importance of being curious in life, relationships, and personal growth. The host, Bryan, explains that having a curious mindset allows you to find more joy, happiness, and fulfillment. He discusses how when we are young, we are naturally very curious about the world around us. As we get older, that innate curiosity tends to fade as we settle into routines and stop questioning things as much. However, maintaining a sense of curiosity is vital for several reasons: Curiosity opens up new possibilities and helps spark creativity to solve problems in innovative ways, especially for entrepreneurs.   Being curious makes you a better problem solver in all areas of life rather than just accepting "That's how we've always done it."   Curiosity makes you more relatable and eager to learn from others. It shows you don't know everything.   A curious mindset is a growth-oriented abundant mindset, whereas a lack of curiosity leads to a scarcity mindset of just holding on to what you have. The episode emphasizes how curiosity can greatly strengthen relationships, especially with your spouse/partner. Asking questions, being interested in her perspective/hobbies, and striving to understand why she does things a certain way builds intimacy and makes her feel heard and understood. Practical tips are given like the "5 whys" approach to get to the root of someone's motivations by repeatedly asking "Why?" Curiosity about your partner's world helps create deeper connections. Even asking about topics you don't care about can make the other person feel you're a great conversationalist. Overall, the host advises making a conscious effort to embrace curiosity by asking more questions, being open to learning, and examining the details of the world around you. This curiosity will lead to more fulfillment, stronger bonds, creative problem-solving, and personal growth. 00:00:00 The Power of Curiosity 00:01:47 Embracing Curiosity in Life 00:05:30 Challenging the Status Quo 00:07:28 Embracing Growth Through Curiosity 00:11:10 Curiosity vs. Scarcity Mindset 00:11:25 Strengthening Relationships Through Curiosity 00:11:46 Unveiling Relationship Dynamics with Curiosity 00:17:59 Building Strong Connections Through Curiosity

After many years couples often find themselves in a strange predicament. The Sex and closeness fall off and people just sort of exist in the same house. There are lots of thoughts and interpretations of this. The decrease in intimacy has been a problem in marriage since marriages were implemented. Many today believe that the reason for the decrease in intimacy is the institution of marriage. That the very act of committing yourself to another person is why the fire dies down. It can be (See Roommate Syndrome) but it isn't the reason. Why do intimacy challenges come up? We are human and we can't do anything without some type of emotion mixed in. We are just emotional beings. We are also creatures of habit. We do not want to rock the boat too much out of fear that we will be scorned in some way. We don't want to be kicked out of our village and lose all that we have worked so hard to gather. So why do we fall into roommate syndrome? Routine The big reason is we find a routine that works for us. The wife likes her shows and you like yours so you go and watch TV in separate rooms. Instead of going out for a walk or doing something different. Don't want to stir up emotions Doing something new can cause people to feel different emotions. Nice guy syndrome Sorry nice guys but you strike again. Trying to control as much as you do causes people to not venture out into the fun areas of life. So we become bored. A relationship can't survive without sex? Funny how this is often the go-to for why we need sex in our lives. Yet that isn't fully the case. yeah, it would be nice to get boned on a regular basis, but men often have a higher sex drive than women. So we often want to have sex far more often than our spouse would like to have it. So what do you do? That is why you are here. Roommate Syndrome Roommate syndromes are when you have hit a plateau. You have found yourself and your spouse in a rut and this is a good place to be because it means it is time for you to grow. You have a choice Now it may seem as if we are struggling against an impossible wall but that is where our suffering is coming from our thoughts of the matter. We always have a choice. We can change and grow and become the people that lead our spouses out of mediocrity or we can let the marriage wither or we can just stay the same and hope that one of the people in the relationship doesn't venture out for some adventure with someone else. Stay and find out how to grow The one choice I feel most people want is to stay with their spouse and find out how to become the partner their spouse needs in their life. How to increase intimacy There are many different ways we can increase intimacy. We first need to know what type of intimacy we are growing. Any intimacy is one thing but it does help to know what type you are aiming for. According to All Points North, there are 5 types of intimacy we want in our relationships. Emotional intimacy This is, how much emotional connection are you and your spouse willing to have? How willing are you to open up to your spouse about emotions? There are some thoughts as to how deep you need this to be for a good connection with your wife. Spiritual Intimacy How are you and your spouse sharing yall's religion? Many people like to say they are "spiritual" and that's fine but what is your belief and is your belief compatible with your spouse? Intellectual Intimacy How much curiosity is there about each other? Social Intimacy How much do you share in each other's interests? Physical intimacy This is what we men want most. but to get this you often need to do some other things to get here. They want to feel emotionally safe and secure They want to feel trusted They have to trust their partner. Women are mental beings so their engines are started by you waving your ding-a-ling around. This is why women can't stand dick pics. Men, we love our penises but women don't. Start dating your girl again Time to go back into the old dating box in the back of your mental closet dust it off and start dating each other again. Schedule sex It may not seem as spontaneous but at the same time, it does create some habits that have long been lost. There have been couples that actually tried 365 days of sex. They came out of it with a stronger connection with their significant other. Have a Strong Man's Community Pillar Talk to other men and have a life outside of your marriage Go back to Cheesy Romantic stuff Yeah get romantic. Exercise that muscle. Flowers Start giving flowers regularly. Even today's women still like flowers. Love notes How often do you leave love notes for your wife to find? that is too few. DO more. Love texts Send a text to your wife at random times telling her how much she means to you and how happy you are. Might even throw a little saucy language in to spice the feeling up a little. Just no dick pics. Drop the Mental Fights Many people have mental arguments with their spouses. If you do this stop. If you find yourself in that space let her win in your mind. This is about respect for your wife if you don't stop your lack of respect will show up in other ways that your wife will pick up. Show Gratitude One of the greatest ways to get out of the scarcity mindset of no sex is to just start being grateful for your spouse. Then tell them why you are grateful. Be curious Relearn who your wife is or let the marriage fall apart This is also a solution it may not be what you want but it is a solution also.  Special Coaching Offer 95% off -  Summary Intimacy challenges that couples often face in long-term relationships. After the initial "honeymoon phase", issues like lack of sex, emotional distance, and falling into routines and "roommate syndrome" can arise. He makes the point that while a relationship can survive without sex, most intimacy problems stem from negative thought patterns - making assumptions about the other person's feelings, not processing emotions healthily, and getting stuck in unfulfilling routines out of fear of disrupting the situation. Goodwin identifies 5 types of intimacy that need nurturing: emotional, spiritual, intellectual, social, and physical. He suggests several ways to overcome roommate syndrome and reignite intimacy: Date your partner again like when you were first together Schedule sex, try new things to rediscover sensuality Build a strong male social circle apart from your spouse Do romantic gestures - flowers, notes, surprises Stop having unproductive "mental fights" criticizing your partner Be curious about your partner's life, ask questions Express gratitude for small things your partner does Give 100% effort without expectation of reciprocation The underlying message is that growth, discomfort and effort are required to sustain a thriving long-term intimate relationship. Sticking to routine out of fear often leads to dissatisfaction or the relationship falling apart entirely. ( 00:00 ) Intimacy Challenges ( 02:20 ) Relationship Struggles ( 09:40 ) Surviving Without Sex ( 12:32 ) Types of Intimacy ( 30:41 ) Overcoming Roommate Syndrome ( 34:10 )Ending Mental Fights ( 37:17 ) Showing Gratitude ( 39:29 ) Giving 100%, Expecting Zero

Men struggle with strong meaningful connections. Many even struggle with just having a relationship. So many men today don't have close relationships or their relationships are just surface-level connections that don't fulfill the purpose of a relationship. We men need relationships and yet we forsake our own needs for a plethora of reasons. So why do we need to have good strong relationships? Why can't we just hermitize ourselves and just be done with it? Benefits of a good relationship Why are relationships needed? What makes the messy emotional events of having relationships with both men and women good for us? Live longer This is mainly for married men but when a man has friends who force him to get out of the house and go do things. These men live longer and more fulfilled because they have a relationship with both men and women. Men who are isolated have stronger suicide tendencies Sadly many men do end their lives because they have isolated themselves. In fact a guy who starts to isolate needs strong relationships more than ever. Happier Why do men actually long for relationships. Relationships with women It helps them see life as an adventure Three desires of a man He wants a battle to fight. He dreams of adventure. He longs for a beauty to rescue We love to care We Love to be cared for We do like the input from women Men seek specifics in their relationships and often don't find them Praise and approval Respect Connection Space Security Physical Touch Relationships with other men A means to be pushed to be better others to learn from A refill of their masculine energy Men need to have a connection with those around them Why do men not have as many friends as they could have? Many men don't have close friends at all Sadly many men have stopped trying or using the internet as a cheap knockoff connection They lost their girl's challenge. Coaching Offer   Summary Introduction Bryan Goodwin hosts The Relaxed Male podcast, aimed at helping men remove the "nice guy" mindset and live life on their own terms. This episode (#221) focuses on the importance of relationships for men. Why Relationships are Important for Men Men struggle with relationships - romantic partners, family, friends, coworkers etc. Some men avoid relationships altogether through movements like "men going their own way." However, strong relationships provide several key benefits for men: Longevity Married men tend to live longer than single men, especially if the marriage is a strong, connected one. When a wife passes away, the widowed husband often dies soon after of "a broken heart." Lower Suicide Risk Men with solid relationships have lower tendencies towards suicide compared to isolated men. Friends will notice if a man starts withdrawing and pull him back out. Happiness Overall, married men report being happier than single men. Having masculine friendships pushes men to get out, try new activities and adventures they wouldn't alone. Benefits Men Seek in Relationships Words of affirmation/praise Respect Connection/security Physical touch (both platonic and romantic) Men are often the "romantics" craving spice from their wives Importance of Male Friendships Allow men to be their full, uninhibited selves Provide positive masculine energy that balances feminine energy from romantic partners Men learn from each other and push each other to grow Having a tight community of male friends is crucial Challenges to Building/Maintaining Friendships Many men lack close friendships - estimates of 15% having no close friends Online friendships are not a full substitute for in-person connection Romantic partners sometimes pressure men to drop male friends Men must be willing to stand up to this "test" from partners to keep respected friendships Bryan's Plug for Coaching Services For men wanting to improve their relationships (romantic or platonic) 3-month coaching package to change perspectives on relationships Connect with Bryan through the website to take advantage of a discounted offer Overall, the episode argues that all kinds of relationships - romantic, family, friendships - are vital for men's mental health, life satisfaction, personal growth, and even longevity. Building a strong community of male friends is particularly emphasized. 00:00:00 Introduction to The Relaxed Male 00:00:32 The Importance of Relationships 00:06:48 Benefits of Strong Relationships 00:11:22 Specific Benefits for Men 00:18:29 The Importance of Male Friendships 00:24:05The Role of Community in Men's Lives

Why do we get participation trophies? Easy bump of Satisfaction Empty victory How are you giving yourself participation trophies? Staying busy for the sake of busy or are you actually taking steps to go forward? Finding other things to do than what needs to be done. Buffering Example watching porn is you taking the participation prixe instead of actually building the connection withyour wife so that you have that much wanted intamacy. How are you taking the participation trophies of life? How are you going to stop? let me know in the comments section below. Want to start reaching for the real trophies in life? To do so take the next step Get Coached for 3 months for only $300 Sign up for special Coaching Offer Summary The episode argues that many people, especially men, settle for metaphorical "participation trophies" in their relationships instead of putting in the hard work required for a truly fulfilling relationship. Just like kids getting participation trophies in sports for merely showing up, adults give themselves participation trophies in relationships by engaging in avoidance behaviors and buffering techniques like drinking, watching porn, playing video games, etc. instead of doing the emotional labor to build intimacy. The host says these participation trophies in relationships provide an "empty victory" and hollow satisfaction, preventing true growth. For example, watching porn is the participation trophy instead of putting in effort to foster emotional and sexual intimacy with one's partner. Drinking after a hard day is the participation trophy instead of having a real discussion about issues with a spouse. The host urges men to stop settling for these relationship participation trophies. Instead, put in the work like pursuing personal growth, having vulnerable conversations, doing activities to nurture the relationship, etc. - which leads to the true "win" of a rich, fulfilling partnership. Giving up the participation trophy mindset and buffering behaviors is hard, but necessary to achieve relationship success beyond just going through the motions. 00:00:00 The Impact of Participation Trophies 00:11:31 Striving for Success Beyond Participation Trophies 00:16:27 Taking Action to Remove Participation Trophies