Cass & Marie interview people you don’t know, about a subject no one wants to talk about. We hope to encourage people in the process of deconstructing their faith and help curb the loneliness that accompanies it. We think the world is a better place when more people live by sight, not by faith.
Cass Midgley & Marie D'Elephant
Today we feature the pilot episode of Marie D'Elephant's new podcast, "Everyone's Autonomous." It's a spin-off of this podcast and we're excited to promote it. For short, we call it EA2 and this show EA1. It'd be great if you could subscribe to EA2 and support the work. Cheers!
Summary: Episode 255 is our final episode pending intermittent releases when we feel like it. In this final episode, Marie and Cass chat about their time together on the show and Cass and Bob talk about those first 4 years doing the show together. Cass will share some comments from listeners after finding out about the hiatus of the show. And Marie will share about her new spin-off podcast entitled "Everyone's Autonomous" which discusses the more practical steps of how to heal, move forward, and rebuild our lives with a full sense of agency over our bodies and minds. Other Resources: Voices of Deconversion, Life After God, The Life After, Shunned, Your Atheist Pastor, Exvangelical, The Thinking Atheist, A Better Life, How-To Heretic, The Friendly Atheist, Recovering from Religion, Women Beyond Faith, Secular Sexuality We taped this conversation in October 2019. Thanks for listening and "Be a Yes-Sayer to What Is". We interview people you don’t know, about a subject no one wants to talk about. We hope to encourage people in the process of deconstructing their faith and help curb the loneliness that accompanies it. We think the world is a better place when more people live by sight, not by faith. Please subscribe to our podcast, and leave a review wherever you listen to podcasts. Also, we offer these podcasts freely. And your support truly makes a difference. You can support us monetarily in two easy ways: you can pledge a monthly donation through Patreon. that’s www.patreon.com/eapodcast, or leave a lump-sum donation through PayPal at our website, www.everyonesagnostic.com. Produced by Cass Midgley and Marie D'Elephant Website: everyonesagnostic.com Facebook: fb.me/everyonesagnostic Twitter: @evry1sagnostic Instagram: @everyonesagnostic YouTube: tinyurl.com/sayyestowhatis Patreon: link D'Elephant: mariedelephant.com
Joe grew up a farm kid in rural northern California. His parents mistrusted public education and home schooled him all the way through eighth grade, although home school meant more farm labor and than learning, and social education happened only through the church. In eighth grade his parents decided it was time for him to get a "real" education, which meant sending him to a small private Baptist school where he learned more about the bible than reading or math. His de-conversation journey began when he entered college and learned that the world is a much bigger place than the space within the walls of a church. We taped this conversation on September 15th. Thanks for listening and "Be a Yes-Sayer to What Is". We interview people you don’t know, about a subject no one wants to talk about. We hope to encourage people in the process of deconstructing their faith and help curb the loneliness that accompanies it. We think the world is a better place when more people live by sight, not by faith. Please subscribe to our podcast, and leave a review wherever you listen to podcasts. Also, we offer these podcasts freely. And your support truly makes a difference. You can support us monetarily in two easy ways: you can pledge a monthly donation through Patreon. that’s www.patreon.com/eapodcast, or leave a lump-sum donation through PayPal at our website, www.everyonesagnostic.com. Produced by Cass Midgley and Marie D'Elephant Website: everyonesagnostic.com Facebook: fb.me/everyonesagnostic Twitter: @evry1sagnostic Instagram: @everyonesagnostic YouTube: tinyurl.com/sayyestowhatis Patreon: link D'Elephant: mariedelephant.com
Cass Midgley talks with Randy Krakowski. Randy was raised Catholic but in his mid twenties discovered an exciting evangelical Christianity on the radio during his daily commute. From the frying pan to the fire, then out into the cold water of reality. Randy was raised in Buffalo, NY. A Roman Catholic altar boy for 7 years and CCD religious instruction for 10. However, after moving to the Bible Belt post college, he converted to Evangelical Christianity. Some 20 years later, while trying to reach his son and wife "for the Lord" by researching science and Atheism, he came out the other side deconverted. As a result of discovering the lengths at which Christian apologists and ministries will go to defend Christianity, he decided to create an exposé. In 2018 LyingForJesus.org was born. An exposé of prominent & influential Christian leaders who have used lying and dishonest tactics in an attempt to validate Christianity. We taped this conversation on October 3rd, 2019. The intro music is "Just Groove Me" by Dave Weckl. The segue music on this episode is a percussion groove I recordedThanks for listening and be a yes sayer to what is
The premise of this appalling podcast, Conversations With God, is to have open, deep and frank discussions with the creator of the universe: God. Each episode they address incredibly important issues of creation, morality, philosophy and cooking with the lord, in an informal, yet matter of fact, discussion. It is an irreverent comedy podcast which was launched in January of 2018 has has over 40 episodes to date. The host, Tony, tries to hold the God of the Old & New Testament accountable for the atrocities that are in the aforementioned book. God is portrayed as a buffoon who has little regard for the human race and the troubles that plague it. Tony regularly gives god the opportunity to explain/redeem himself and apologizes to the audience but is generally ambivalent & evasive which regularly becomes very frustrating for Tony. They often bicker and pick at each other. The show is fast paced and switch's between regular segments like: God's Kitchen: Cooking Tips from the Lord God's Top Ten Diseases Questions from The Mortals (listeners email in their questions for the lord to answer on the show) What you could have been doing instead of listening to this audio drivel Philosophy Corner (where celebrities talk with God) Tony, the host is a 45 year old sales executive living in Australia but who was born in the UK. He has a background in audio production/music and has been an atheist for most of his life. He is an audio nerd, loves audio tech and audio software. Patreon: www.patreon.com/convowithgodpod Twitter: twitter.com/ToeKneecwg iTunes Website: www.convowithgodpod.com/ We taped this conversation on September 7, 2019. Thanks for listening and "Be a Yes-Sayer to What Is". We interview people you don’t know, about a subject no one wants to talk about. We hope to encourage people in the process of deconstructing their faith and help curb the loneliness that accompanies it. We think the world is a better place when more people live by sight, not by faith. Please subscribe to our podcast, and leave a review wherever you listen to podcasts. Also, we offer these podcasts freely. And your support truly makes a difference. You can support us monetarily in two easy ways: you can pledge a monthly donation through Patreon. that’s www.patreon.com/eapodcast, or leave a lump-sum donation through PayPal at our website, www.everyonesagnostic.com. Produced by Cass Midgley and Marie D'Elephant Website: everyonesagnostic.com Facebook: fb.me/everyonesagnostic Twitter: @evry1sagnostic Instagram: @everyonesagnostic YouTube: tinyurl.com/sayyestowhatis Patreon: link D'Elephant: mariedelephant.com
Cass Midgley talks with married couple, Amy and David. They recently went through an intense deconstruction of their faith after which they found true freedom for the first time in their lives. David and Amy both come from a “Christian” upbringing, but were raised very differently. David comes from a healthy loving home while Amy was raised by an abusive father. Amy served on the worship staff at a non-denominational megachurch for many years where David also served as an Elder. We also feature a 12 minute sketch of Jerry Dale and Leroy on AM Christian talk radio, KING. We taped this conversation on September 16th, 2019. The intro music is "Never Know" by Jack JohnsonThe opening rant is by Hank Green from his YouTube channel, the Vlog Brothersthe segue music on this episode are segments of music by our guest today, Amy learn more about us at everyonesagnostic.com email us at everyonesagnostic@gmail.com follow us on Twitter @evry1sagnostic and Instagram To be invited to our private support group on Facebook please contact us on Facebook or email everyonesagnostic@gmail.com Thanks for listening and be a yes sayer to what is
Josh Richards is an ex-pastor who now serves as a humanist chaplain. Josh was laughed out of his last church he served as a minister for, and then he struggled for years leaving faith. He is an example of someone losing faith and then everything else. He made mistakes and had to learn to live honestly. He is so thankful to come through all of that. Josh runs a webshow "JRRTalking" and speaks in public as often as he can. We taped this conversation on June 2, 2019. Thanks for listening and "Be a Yes-Sayer to What Is". We interview people you don’t know, about a subject no one wants to talk about. We hope to encourage people in the process of deconstructing their faith and help curb the loneliness that accompanies it. We think the world is a better place when more people live by sight, not by faith. Please subscribe to our podcast, and leave a review wherever you listen to podcasts. Also, we offer these podcasts freely. And your support truly makes a difference. You can support us monetarily in two easy ways: you can pledge a monthly donation through Patreon. that’s www.patreon.com/eapodcast, or leave a lump-sum donation through PayPal at our website, www.everyonesagnostic.com. Produced by Cass Midgley and Marie D'Elephant Website: everyonesagnostic.com Facebook: fb.me/everyonesagnostic Twitter: @evry1sagnostic Instagram: @everyonesagnostic YouTube: tinyurl.com/sayyestowhatis Patreon: link D'Elephant: mariedelephant.com
Journalist, book/music critic, and memoirist Thomas Larson is the author of "Spirituality and the Writer: A Personal Inquiry" (Swallow Press). He has also written "The Sanctuary of Illness: A Memoir of Heart Disease" (Hudson Whitman), "The Saddest Music Ever Written: The Story of Samuel Barber's 'Adagio for Strings'" (Pegasus Press), and "The Memoir and the Memoirist: Reading and Writing Personal Narrative" (Swallow Press). He is a twenty-year staff writer for the San Diego Reader, a six-year book review editor for River Teeth, and a former music critic for the Santa Fe New Mexican. His Kindle books include "What Exactly Happened: Four Essays on the Craft of Memoir," "We Are Their Heaven: A Family Memoir," "On the Poetry of James Wright," and "Awash in Celebrity Authors." As a lecturer, Larson speaks about his book on heart disease, holds workshops on "Writing the Memoir" and "Writing the Spiritual Memoir," edits nonfiction manuscripts, and gives talks on jazz, American composers, and nonfiction narrative. His website is thomaslarson.com. When not on the road or spending time in Santa Fe, Larson lives with his partner Suzanna Neal in San Diego We taped this conversation on May 30, 2019. Thanks for listening and "Be a Yes-Sayer to What Is". We interview people you don’t know, about a subject no one wants to talk about. We hope to encourage people in the process of deconstructing their faith and help curb the loneliness that accompanies it. We think the world is a better place when more people live by sight, not by faith. Please subscribe to our podcast, and leave a review wherever you listen to podcasts. Also, we offer these podcasts freely. And your support truly makes a difference. You can support us monetarily in two easy ways: you can pledge a monthly donation through Patreon. that’s www.patreon.com/eapodcast, or leave a lump-sum donation through PayPal at our website, www.everyonesagnostic.com. Produced by Cass Midgley and Marie D'Elephant Website: everyonesagnostic.com Facebook: fb.me/everyonesagnostic Twitter: @evry1sagnostic Instagram: @everyonesagnostic YouTube: tinyurl.com/sayyestowhatis Patreon: link D'Elephant: mariedelephant.com
Cass Midgley and Marie D'elephant discuss everyone's autonomous right to grieve their loss however it manifests. We feature a segment of a YouTube talk by ex-Jehovah Witness, Rodney Allgood, and an updated from Dave Warnock on the Dying Out Loud campaign. Thanks for listening and "Be a Yes-Sayer to What Is". We interview people you don’t know, about a subject no one wants to talk about. We hope to encourage people in the process of deconstructing their faith and help curb the loneliness that accompanies it. We think the world is a better place when more people live by sight, not by faith. Please subscribe to our podcast, and leave a review wherever you listen to podcasts. Also, we offer these podcasts freely. And your support truly makes a difference. You can support us monetarily in two easy ways: you can pledge a monthly donation through Patreon. that’s www.patreon.com/eapodcast, or leave a lump-sum donation through PayPal at our website, www.everyonesagnostic.com. Produced by Cass Midgley and Marie D'Elephant Website: everyonesagnostic.com Facebook: fb.me/everyonesagnostic Twitter: @evry1sagnostic Instagram: @everyonesagnostic YouTube: tinyurl.com/sayyestowhatis Patreon: link D'Elephant: mariedelephant.com
The Seeker and The Skeptic is a podcast in which two friends, Rebecca and Cat, explore esoteric, paranormal and spiritual topics from two completely different perspectives. Cat is The Seeker, she’s interested in spiritual ideas and hopes to find something meaningful and empowering in the wisdom of religion and new age philosophy. Rebecca is The Skeptic, she’s passionate about finding truth (or at least getting closer to it) using the tools of reason and evidence. Though their approaches to life and ideas are very different they share a sense of humor and a commitment to talking honestly about what we believe and why, which is why they started this podcast. In each episode they discuss a different topic or experience they’ve had from Holotropic Breathing to Mediumship and they’ll see if they can learn something from each other or change each other’s minds… or if their conversation will devolve into a good natured slanging match. Whatever happens they think having these conversations will be enlightening and amusing and after they finish recording they’ll be pouring themselves a drink and planning their next adventure. The Seeker and the Skeptic podcast Twitter & Instagram: @SeekerSkeptic We taped this conversation on April 28, 2019. Thanks for listening and "Be a Yes-Sayer to What Is". We interview people you don’t know, about a subject no one wants to talk about. We hope to encourage people in the process of deconstructing their faith and help curb the loneliness that accompanies it. We think the world is a better place when more people live by sight, not by faith. Please subscribe to our podcast, and leave a review wherever you listen to podcasts. Also, we offer these podcasts freely. And your support truly makes a difference. You can support us monetarily in two easy ways: you can pledge a monthly donation through Patreon. that’s www.patreon.com/eapodcast, or leave a lump-sum donation through PayPal at our website, www.everyonesagnostic.com. Produced by Cass Midgley and Marie D'Elephant Website: everyonesagnostic.com Facebook: fb.me/everyonesagnostic Twitter: @evry1sagnostic Instagram: @everyonesagnostic YouTube: tinyurl.com/sayyestowhatis Patreon: link D'Elephant: mariedelephant.com
Cynthia Jeub was raised in a cult of sorts. She is the 3rd oldest of 16 kids and her parents believed God wanted them to avoid birth control of all kinds, and try to breed as much as possible. Cynthia was to marry young and become a baby-making handmaiden, after having been a sister-mom to her younger siblings since childhood. Her family was highlighted on the reality show "Kids By The Dozen". Cynthia is now a freelance writer, blogger, and author. She writes about the deconstruction of faith, mental illness, abuse recovery, economic justice, and philosophy at cynthiajeub.com. She is working on a memoir about her childhood, Music in the Dream House, which is being sponsored through her Patreon. Cynthia's website: www.cynthiajeub.com Cynthia's Twitter: @Cynthia Jeub Cythina's Patreon (to support forthcoming book): Patreon.com/cynthiajeub Gary T. McDonald Gary McDonald is a fifth generation Texan who now lives in California. A practicing Buddhist, Gary has had a lifelong interest in the origins of Christianity. These two strands culminated in his first book THE GOSPEL OF THOMAS (THE YOUNGER), a post-modern novel which is both a gospel and a novel that attempts to reboot the Jesus mythology. The Gospel of Thomas (The Younger), while telling a captivating story, also replaces a theology based on deity worship with a prescription for living a full and happy life. It offers a humanistic and secular view of Jesus and Christianity, if such a thing is possible. It shows how Christianity took a wrong turn early on and does its best to set it straight. We taped this conversation on April 21, 2019. Thanks for listening and "Be a Yes-Sayer to What Is". We interview people you don’t know, about a subject no one wants to talk about. We hope to encourage people in the process of deconstructing their faith and help curb the loneliness that accompanies it. We think the world is a better place when more people live by sight, not by faith. Please subscribe to our podcast, and leave a review wherever you listen to podcasts. Also, we offer these podcasts freely. And your support truly makes a difference. You can support us monetarily in two easy ways: you can pledge a monthly donation through Patreon. that’s www.patreon.com/eapodcast, or leave a lump-sum donation through PayPal at our website, www.everyonesagnostic.com. Produced by Cass Midgley and Marie D'Elephant Website: everyonesagnostic.com Facebook: fb.me/everyonesagnostic Twitter: @evry1sagnostic Instagram: @everyonesagnostic Patreon: link D'Elephant: mariedelephant.com
Dave Warnock, a former conservative Evangelical pastor and church leader for almost 40 years and former guest of the show, began a process of de-conversion several years ago. At first calling himself an agnostic, he gradually began to embrace the word ‘Atheist’, as he does what he can to de-stigmatize this word (which simply means “non-theist”). Dave’s leaving the Christian faith came at huge cost with the loss of almost his entire community of friends, the breakup of his 37 year marriage, and the Christian “shunning” by two of his three children, which has also deprived him of being a part of his six grandchildren’s lives to this day. Given how life can be random, chaotic, and unpredictable, on February 26, 2019 Dave received the devastating diagnosis of ALS (Lou Gehrig’s disease). Suddenly for Dave this precious and brief life became infinitely more precious and incredibly brief. Instead of succumbing to the depression, anger, and hopelessness this debilitating fatal diagnosis often brings, Dave immediately decided to begin “Dying Out Loud,” - living life to the fullest and making plans to travel as much of the world as his body will allow - seeing places he's never been to and spending time with people he knows and loves, while also experiencing the joy of meeting new people and cherishing the beautiful “moments” life offers to all of us. Follow his adventure on Facebook as he seeks to grab as many moments as he can. We taped this conversation on April 15, 2019. Dave's deconversion story is on episode 107. Thanks for listening and "Be a Yes-Sayer to What Is". We interview people you don’t know, about a subject no one wants to talk about. We hope to encourage people in the process of deconstructing their faith and help curb the loneliness that accompanies it. We think the world is a better place when more people live by sight, not by faith. Please subscribe to our podcast, and leave a review wherever you listen to podcasts. Also, we offer these podcasts freely. And your support truly makes a difference. You can support us monetarily in two easy ways: you can pledge a monthly donation through Patreon. that’s www.patreon.com/eapodcast, or leave a lump-sum donation through PayPal at our website, www.everyonesagnostic.com. Produced by Cass Midgley and Marie D'Elephant Website: everyonesagnostic.com Facebook: fb.me/everyonesagnostic Twitter: @evry1sagnostic Instagram: @everyonesagnostic YouTube: tinyurl.com/sayyestowhatis Patreon: link
Amberly Page was raised in a particularly literal strain of Mormonism. She was convinced as a child that the Last Days were here and she would never grow old enough to go to college or have children of her own. She was home-schooled and sheltered from worldly influences, partially on a secluded compound in Arkansas, waiting for the Second Coming of Christ. Jesus never did come and to the dismay of her parents, life on this fallen world continued. Amberly went on to follow the back-up plan of getting a degree in Music History, a Returned Missionary husband, and the recommended minimum three children. Always faithful to The Church, she found herself stuck in a holding pattern that turned into a deep depression in her late 20’s. To counter it, she threw herself deeper into church service until a forced confrontation with homophobic and misogynistic doctrines pushed her out for good. Still angry and grieving over the loss of family and community, she copes with the trauma of spiritual abuse and deconstruction by subverting her domestic goddess skills to design blasphemous needlepoint art. Amberly's Instagram Amberly's Facebook We taped this conversation on April 14, 2019. Thanks for listening and "Be a Yes-Sayer to What Is". We interview people you don’t know, about a subject no one wants to talk about. We hope to encourage people in the process of deconstructing their faith and help curb the loneliness that accompanies it. We think the world is a better place when more people live by sight, not by faith. Please subscribe to our podcast, and leave a review wherever you listen to podcasts. Also, we offer these podcasts freely. And your support truly makes a difference. You can support us monetarily in two easy ways: you can pledge a monthly donation through Patreon. that’s www.patreon.com/eapodcast, or leave a lump-sum donation through PayPal at our website, www.everyonesagnostic.com. Produced by Cass Midgley and Marie D'Elephant Website: everyonesagnostic.com Facebook: fb.me/everyonesagnostic Twitter: @evry1sagnostic Instagram: @everyonesagnostic YouTube: tinyurl.com/sayyestowhatis Patreon: link
Jessica Wilbanks is the author When I Spoke in Tongues, a memoir about faith and its loss (Beacon Press, 2018). She has received a Pushcart Prize as well as creative nonfiction awards from Ninth Letter, Sycamore Review, Redivider, and Ruminate magazine. Her work has appeared in The Guardian, Salon, Houston Chronicle, Sojourners, The Rumpus, Longreads, and Lit Hub, and has received Notable Mentions from Best American Essays and Best American Nonrequired Reading. For more information, visit http://jessicawilbanks.com. When I Spoke in Tongues We taped this conversation on April 7, 2019. Thanks for listening and "Be a Yes-Sayer to What Is". We interview people you don’t know, about a subject no one wants to talk about. We hope to encourage people in the process of deconstructing their faith and help curb the loneliness that accompanies it. We think the world is a better place when more people live by sight, not by faith. Please subscribe to our podcast, and leave a review wherever you listen to podcasts. Also, we offer these podcasts freely. And your support truly makes a difference. You can support us monetarily in two easy ways: you can pledge a monthly donation through Patreon. that’s www.patreon.com/eapodcast, or leave a lump-sum donation through PayPal at our website, www.everyonesagnostic.com. Produced by Cass Midgley and Marie D'Elephant Website: everyonesagnostic.com Facebook: fb.me/everyonesagnostic Twitter: @evry1sagnostic Instagram: @everyonesagnostic YouTube: tinyurl.com/sayyestowhatis Patreon: link
Jeremy and Elise had the perfect Christian beginning to what promised to be the perfect Christian marriage. They met in church. Even though they had very different backgrounds and life experiences, and an age difference of almost 6 years, they found a strong attraction to each other, similar life goals, and of course their shared faith wonderful reasons to tie the traditional Christian knot. They began a Family right away, their son being born shortly before their first wedding anniversary and a daughter followed nearly three years later. Due to Jeremy’s career as a chemical engineer their family has moved many times, three time across the country. They currently live in the fifth home they have bought together. Now, married 20 years in 2019,, with one child in college and a high school sophomore at home, Jeremy and Elisa are navigating marriage, family, and independence after deconversion. Through they walk that path together now, it wasn’t always so. Jeremy began his process towards unbelief many years ago. When he admitted to Elise in 2010 that he was an atheist, as a believer she thought their marriage would end in divorce. Thankfully, it didn’t. Elise began her own process in 2015, with no input from Jeremy. She declared herself free from religion in 2016. Today, they discuss being “equally and unequally yoked”. How they navigated the very tough times they faced. How they had to renegotiate what marriage and family meant to them. More importantly, how they were able to do it with their marriage and their love and respect for each other intact. They want everyone with a believing spouse to know that there is hope. There can be fulfillment in an unequally yoked marriage. And ultimately, that the gift of personal freedom and autonomy within marriage is the best gift you give your loved one and yourself. We taped this conversation on April 6, 2019. Thanks for listening and "Be a Yes-Sayer to What Is". We interview people you don’t know, about a subject no one wants to talk about. We hope to encourage people in the process of deconstructing their faith and help curb the loneliness that accompanies it. We think the world is a better place when more people live by sight, not by faith. Please subscribe to our podcast, and leave a review wherever you listen to podcasts. Also, we offer these podcasts freely. And your support truly makes a difference. You can support us monetarily in two easy ways: you can pledge a monthly donation through Patreon. that’s www.patreon.com/eapodcast, or leave a lump-sum donation through PayPal at our website, www.everyonesagnostic.com. Produced by Cass Midgley and Marie D'Elephant Website: everyonesagnostic.com Facebook: fb.me/everyonesagnostic Twitter: @evry1sagnostic Instagram: @everyonesagnostic YouTube: tinyurl.com/sayyestowhatis Patreon: link
Leah is a middle aged former-evangelical homeschool mama who studied Biology and Secondary Ed at universities in New York & Washington, D.C.. From the age of 10, she dreamed of rescuing all the ill and downtrodden children of the world by studying to become a pediatrician. Those dreams died when she failed to get in to medical school right out of college. Plan B? Leah rose above the discouragement & disappointment & determined that she could still save the world, one child at a time, by becoming a die hard fundamentalist christian. This led her on a 20+ year journey into the domain of falsehood, deception & tyranny. Thanks to the critical thinking skills of her oldest son, Leah has fully rejected the truth claims of Christianity. Today she strives to make every effort to rediscover the harsh beauties of life. She counts devouring content by the likes of Hitch & Harris, marathon training, podcasts, adventuring near & abroad, growing communities of like minded people and quality conversation among her myriad of interests. Leah is the host of the Podcast, "Women Beyond Faith." To continue your conversation with Leah, visit her on Facebook (Leah Helbling), at her email leahhelbling@ymail.com. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/women-beyond-faith/id1441232338 We taped this conversation on March 31, 2019. The intro music is "Just Groove Me" by Dave Weckl. The segue music is "The Loop" by the 77s. Thanks for listening and "Be a Yes-Sayer to What Is". We interview people you don’t know, about a subject no one wants to talk about. We hope to encourage people in the process of deconstructing their faith and help curb the loneliness that accompanies it. We think the world is a better place when more people live by sight, not by faith. Please subscribe to our podcast, and leave a review wherever you listen to podcasts. Also, we offer these podcasts freely. And your support truly makes a difference. You can support us monetarily in two easy ways: you can pledge a monthly donation through Patreon. that’s www.patreon.com/eapodcast, or leave a lump-sum donation through PayPal at our website, www.everyonesagnostic.com. Produced by Cass Midgley and Marie D'Elephant Website: everyonesagnostic.com Facebook: fb.me/everyonesagnostic Twitter: @evry1sagnostic Instagram: @everyonesagnostic YouTube: tinyurl.com/sayyestowhatis Patreon: link https://player.fm/series/conversations-with-god
Surprise! You get an extra episode this week! Cass and Marie interview Dr. Darrel Ray. Dr. Ray is the founder and President of the Board of Directors of Recovering from Religion and founder of The Secular Therapy Project. He has been a psychologist for over forty years and is the author of four books: two on organizational teamwork as well as "The God Virus: How Religion Infects Our Lives and Culture" and "Sex and God: How Religion Distorts Sexuality”. Dr. Ray has been a student of religion most of his life and holds a Masters Degree in religion as well as a Bachelor's Degree in Sociology/Anthropology with a Doctorate in Psychology. We taped this conversation with Dr. Darrel Ray on May 12, 2019. Thanks for listening and "Be a Yes-Sayer to What Is". We interview people you don’t know, about a subject no one wants to talk about. We hope to encourage people in the process of deconstructing their faith and help curb the loneliness that accompanies it. We think the world is a better place when more people live by sight, not by faith. Please subscribe to our podcast, and leave a review wherever you listen to podcasts. Also, we offer these podcasts freely. And your support truly makes a difference. You can support us monetarily in two easy ways: you can pledge a monthly donation through Patreon: www.patreon.com/eapodcast, or leave a lump-sum donation through PayPal at our website, www.everyonesagnostic.com. Produced by Cass Midgley and Marie D'Elephant Website: everyonesagnostic.com Facebook: fb.me/everyonesagnostic Twitter: @evry1sagnostic Instagram: @everyonesagnostic YouTube: tinyurl.com/sayyestowhatis Patreon: link
Cass and Marie chat with Steve Hilliker, host of Voices of Deconversion Podcast. We discuss the complexities of raising children in a secular way, absent the prescription believers are raised by. We talk about how to cope with our impending deaths, now, as atheists, and how to die. We touch on the common theme of how to create our own purpose and meaning in life (Steve proposes leaving a legacy of love in those you love, as you reflect on the legacy of love that brought you into the world, too). Steve Hilliker is an ex-conservative Christian living near Seattle with his wife and teenage sons. Steve deconverted from Christianity in 2005 while earning his Bachelor’s degree in Biblical Studies and planning to be a pastor. What followed was a major crisis. Steve’s career path was gone and his wife still a Christian. He worried about how they would raise their kids. He couldn't find resources or community and struggled greatly with depression. Years later, Steve realized the importance for himself and others in discussing these experiences. In 2017, Steve started the Voices of Deconversion podcast to encourage ex-christian atheists & agnostics. Steve loves listening to podcasts, becoming engrossed in a good Netflix show and watching March Madness each year with his friends. We taped this conversation on March 3, 2019. Thanks for listening and "Be a Yes-Sayer to What Is". We interview people you don’t know, about a subject no one wants to talk about. We hope to encourage people in the process of deconstructing their faith and help curb the loneliness that accompanies it. We think the world is a better place when more people live by sight, not by faith. Please subscribe to our podcast, and leave a review wherever you listen to podcasts. Also, we offer these podcasts freely. And your support truly makes a difference. You can support us monetarily in two easy ways: you can pledge a monthly donation through Patreon. that’s www.patreon.com/eapodcast, or leave a lump-sum donation through PayPal at our website, www.everyonesagnostic.com. Produced by Cass Midgley and Marie D'Elephant Website: everyonesagnostic.com Facebook: fb.me/everyonesagnostic Twitter: @evry1sagnostic Instagram: @everyonesagnostic YouTube: tinyurl.com/sayyestowhatis Patreon: link
Jon is a father, Army veteran, computer programmer, and host of The Wayward Willis podcast. He grew up in a military family with fundamentalist Christian beliefs and at the age of 5 he accepted Jesus into his heart and was baptized. He spent the rest of his childhood pursuing his relationship with Jesus but after reading the Bible from start to finish twice he began to have doubts about the accuracy of the text and the goodness of Yahweh. His deconversion began when he left his parents' home and started interacting with people of diverse backgrounds and beliefs. Though it took nearly 10 years to complete, the availability of the Internet sped it along. While shedding religious belief, Jon also shed preconceived notions about sexuality, gender norms, and Conservative ideologies. At 27 years old, Jon started blogging, tried YouTubing, and eventually started up a podcast as a progressive, liberal atheist to publicize secular humanism and push back against the harms of organized religion and credulity. We discuss reconciling with kids raised religious when the parent deconverts later on. We get into gender and sexual orientation fluidity. And lastly, we celebrate the surprised delight in feeling fully human as opposed to a temporarily postponed angel. We taped this conversation on February 17, 2019. Thanks for listening and "Be a Yes-Sayer to What Is". We interview people you don’t know, about a subject no one wants to talk about. We hope to encourage people in the process of deconstructing their faith and help curb the loneliness that accompanies it. We think the world is a better place when more people live by sight, not by faith. Please subscribe to our podcast, and leave a review wherever you listen to podcasts. Also, we offer these podcasts freely. And your support truly makes a difference. You can support us monetarily in two easy ways: you can pledge a monthly donation through Patreon. that’s www.patreon.com/eapodcast, or leave a lump-sum donation through PayPal at our website, www.everyonesagnostic.com. Produced by Cass Midgley and Marie D'Elephant Website: everyonesagnostic.com Facebook: fb.me/everyonesagnostic Twitter: @evry1sagnostic Instagram: @everyonesagnostic YouTube: tinyurl.com/sayyestowhatis Patreon: link
Join Cass & Marie as we speak with Jenn. Jenn's upbringing in Georgia, USA, was deeply insular, racist, and shrouded in a demon-obsessed, Southern Baptist Christianity. An only child emerging from a world alien to her inner convictions, she broke out of that world laden with cognitive dissonances to be her truest self. Becoming the co-host of the skeptical podcast Waiting for Wrath helped her even further to understand her own journey to non-belief and introduced her to a community of fellow skeptics and deconverts. We taped this conversation on February 10, 2019. Thanks for listening and "Be a Yes-Sayer to What Is". We interview people you don’t know, about a subject no one wants to talk about. We hope to encourage people in the process of deconstructing their faith and help curb the loneliness that accompanies it. We think the world is a better place when more people live by sight, not by faith. Please subscribe to our podcast, and leave a review wherever you listen to podcasts. Also, we offer these podcasts freely. And your support truly makes a difference. You can support us monetarily in two easy ways: you can pledge a monthly donation through Patreon. that’s www.patreon.com/eapodcast, or leave a lump-sum donation through PayPal at our website, www.everyonesagnostic.com. Produced by Cass Midgley and Marie D'Elephant Website: everyonesagnostic.com Facebook: fb.me/everyonesagnostic Twitter: @evry1sagnostic Instagram: @everyonesagnostic YouTube: tinyurl.com/sayyestowhatis Patreon: link
Join Cass & Marie as we talk with Aaron and GW of the podcast Embrace the Void. Things get pretty philosophical as we discuss the notion of the "self" and the "other", cultural immersion, animal friendships with each other, and the overwhelming demand of global human needs. We wrap up by talking about how to create your own morality absent the one you were taught from a "sacred" book. https://voidpod.com/podcasts www.patreon.com/EmbraceTheVoid Philosophers in Space Facebook Group We taped this conversation on February 2nd, 2019. Thanks for listening and Be a Yes-Sayer to what is.We interview people you don’t know, about a subject no one wants to talk about. We hope to encourage people in the process of deconstructing their faith and help curb the loneliness that accompanies it. We think the world is a better place when more people live by sight, not by faith. Please subscribe to our podcast, and leave a review wherever you listen to podcasts. Also, we offer these podcasts freely. And your support truly makes a difference. You can support us monetarily in two easy ways: you can pledge a monthly donation through Patreon. that’s www.patreon.com/eapodcast, or leave a lump-sum donation through PayPal at our website, www.everyonesagnostic.com. Produced by Cass Midgley and Marie D'Elephant Website: everyonesagnostic.com Facebook: fb.me/everyonesagnostic Twitter: @evry1sagnostic Instagram: @everyonesagnostic YouTube: tinyurl.com/sayyestowhatis Patreon: link
Cass Midgley & Marie D'Elephant talk about her visit to Nashville. We taped this conversation on March 10th, 2019. The music is by Dave Weckl called "Just Groove Me." Thanks for listening and Be a Yes-Sayer to what is.We interview people you don’t know, about a subject no one wants to talk about. We hope to encourage people in the process of deconstructing their faith and help curb the loneliness that accompanies it. We think the world is a better place when more people live by sight, not by faith. Please subscribe to our podcast, and leave a review wherever you listen to podcasts. Also, we offer these podcasts freely. And your support truly makes a difference. You can support us monetarily in two easy ways: you can pledge a monthly donation through Patreon. that’s www.patreon.com/eapodcast, or leave a lump-sum donation through PayPal at our website, www.everyonesagnostic.com.
Cass Midgley and Marie D'Elephant with Kari Lynn Becken. Kari did not fall from faith, she/they outgrew it. After 43 years of fundamental religious dogma and indoctrination involving several sects and persuasions, Kari is now recovering from the loss of both career and community. While sifting through the wreckage of religious rubble, Kari's ‘rise to reason’ enabled the finding of her Self and the embracing of their queer, gender non-conforming identity. Today, they are committed to making a ruckus by creating compelling, relatable content and a safe space for those discovering their own this-is-who-I-really-am selves. Now, as a certified professional life coach, Kari works with others who are coming out – those coming out of religious paradigms and those coming out to embrace their sexual and gender identities. Through harnessing the power of courageous vulnerability, Kari inspires possibility and encourages potential. Engaging clients in a process empowered by neuroscience and its role in how our habits are formed and why we hold ourselves back, she helps in the overcoming of unproductive habit loops, damaging mindsets, limiting beliefs and emotional obstacles such as fear and self-doubt. Speaking from the real, raw place of their own self-suppression, anxiety and bouts of depression, Kari chronicles her journey and shares strategies of hope in their email newsletter Queerious Beckonings. The goal? To invite others to create the future they truly desire so that they, too, may experience being fully alive – and free. Website: www.karibecken.com Community Newsletter (and future Blog/Podcast): Queerious Beckonings Facebook: Coach Kari Becken (@karibeckencoaching) Email: coachkari@karibecken.com ******* Link to the film "Papoy" ******* Produced by Cass Midgley and Marie D'ElephantWebsite: everyonesagnostic.com Facebook: fb.me/everyonesagnostic Twitter: @evry1sagnostic Instagram: @everyonesagnostic YouTube: tinyurl.com/sayyestowhatis Patreon: link We taped this conversation on January 13th, 2019. We interview people you don’t know, about a subject no one wants to talk about. We hope to encourage people in the process of deconstructing their faith and help curb the loneliness that accompanies it. We think the world is a better place when more people live by sight, not by faith. Please subscribe to our podcast, and leave a review wherever you listen to podcasts. Also, we offer these podcasts freely. And your support truly makes a difference. You can support us monetarily in two easy ways: you can pledge a monthly donation through Patreon. that’s www.patreon.com/eapodcast, or leave a lump-sum donation through PayPal at our website, www.everyonesagnostic.com.
Luke is a former Foursquare Pastor, Seminary student and US Navy Chaplain Candidate turned atheist. He went from believing in divine healing, speaking in tongues, casting out demons, and other supernatural phenomenon to embracing a secular perspective on life. His goal is to put a friendly face on atheism and create an environment for atheists to experience love, belonging, and connection. Cass Midgley and Marie D'Elephant skip past Luke's deconversion story and jump right into discussing post-religious community building and deconstructing sexual traditions. Show Links: Your Atheist Pastor Tea/Consent Video Produced by Cass Midgley and Marie D'ElephantWebsite: everyonesagnostic.com Facebook: fb.me/everyonesagnostic Twitter: @evry1sagnostic Instagram: @everyonesagnostic YouTube: tinyurl.com/sayyestowhatis Patreon: link We taped this conversation on January 6th, 2019. The intro music is by ---- The segue music on this episode is an excerpt from ---- We interview people you don’t know, about a subject no one wants to talk about. We hope to encourage people in the process of deconstructing their faith and help curb the loneliness that accompanies it. We think the world is a better place when more people live by sight, not by faith. Please subscribe to our podcast, and leave a review wherever you listen to podcasts. Also, we offer these podcasts freely. And your support truly makes a difference. You can support us monetarily in two easy ways: you can pledge a monthly donation through Patreon. that’s www.patreon.com/eapodcast, or leave a lump-sum donation through PayPal at our website, www.everyonesagnostic.com.
Cass and Marie speak with Naomi grew up in an extremely conservative Christian family. She went to a conservative Christian school, as well as a Christian college. Her parents became missionaries when she was in high school. She spent most of her adult life living abroad in China and moved back to the US a few years ago. She is a youth worker and is finishing up her master's in education. Produced by Cass Midgley and Marie D'ElephantWebsite: everyonesagnostic.com Facebook: fb.me/everyonesagnostic Twitter: @evry1sagnostic Instagram: @everyonesagnostic YouTube: tinyurl.com/sayyestowhatis Patreon: link We taped this conversation on December 9th, 2018. The intro music is by Dave Weckl called "Just Groove Me" The segue music on this episode is an excerpt from Aja, by Steely Dan. We interview people you don’t know, about a subject no one wants to talk about. We hope to encourage people in the process of deconstructing their faith and help curb the loneliness that accompanies it. We think the world is a better place when more people live by sight, not by faith. Please subscribe to our podcast, and leave a review wherever you listen to podcasts. Also, we offer these podcasts freely. And your support truly makes a difference. You can support us monetarily in two easy ways: you can pledge a monthly donation through Patreon. that’s www.patreon.com/eapodcast, or leave a lump-sum donation through PayPal at our website, www.everyonesagnostic.com.
Marie D'Elephant and Cass Midgley chat with Dr. Eric Sprankle. Dr. Sprankle is an associate professor of psychology and co-director of the sexuality studies program at Minnesota State University, Mankato. He is also a licensed psychologist and certified sex therapist at the Minnesota Sexual Health Institute in Minneapolis. He lives with his wife, Katie, and two cats, Lucy and Mina, in south Minneapolis where they bask in being called "devil worshippers" by their family. We taped this conversation on January 12th 2019. The intro music is by Dave Weckl called "Just Groove Me." The segue music on this episode is a looped drum track played by Johnny Jackson of the Jackson 5. Thanks for listening and Be a Yes-Sayer to what is. Recovery websites recommended by Dr. Sprankle: https://www.recoveringfromreligion.org/#rfr-welcome https://www.seculartherapy.org/ http://www.snapnetwork.org/ http://shamelessthebook.com/books-purity-culture/ (a book list mainly for Christians recovering from purity culture, but a few are for non-Christians, too) Sex education and sexual health websites/articles Dr. Sprankle recommends: https://helloclue.com/ http://projects.huffingtonpost.com/projects/cliteracy https://pie.med.utoronto.ca/htbw/module.html?module=sex-development https://blogs.scientificamerican.com/sa-visual/visualizing-sex-as-a-spectrum/ http://www.transstudent.org/definitions/ https://www.morethantwo.com/polyglossary.html http://betterthanieverexpected.blogspot.com/ https://goodmenproject.com/ethics-values/brand-dear-daughter-i-hope-you-have-awesome-sex/ http://swopusa.org/ http://www.soc.ucsb.edu/sexinfo/article/what-consent https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/birth-control https://www.cdc.gov/std/default.htm
Cass Midgley and Marie D'Elephant talk with Emily. She is a former Evangelical Christian who struggled with a lot of doubts and crises of faith on her road to freedom in unbelief. Nowadays, she considers herself a former fundie or a shameless heathen; although, "atheist" is the title she uses most. She is in her early thirties, works in healthcare, and is currently going back to school to further her career. In the very small amount of free time she currently possesses, she likes to write fiction, daydream, and wander aimlessly through Target with an empty cart. She doesn't have a spouse or kids, but she does have a pet bunny that she spoils beyond all good sense. Emily tends towards being a hermit, but thankfully has great friends who occasionally persuade her to leave the house and do things like this podcast. We discuss things from faith healing (and is it your fault you weren't healed?) to healing through playful blasphemy of what once felt so direly serious. Website: everyonesagnostic.com Facebook: fb.me/everyonesagnostic Twitter: @evry1sagnostic Instagram: @everyonesagnostic YouTube: tinyurl.com/sayyestowhatis Patreon: link
Welcome to the year 2019! This week Cass and Marie chat with author Tim Rymel who served as an evangelical Christian minister for nearly twenty-five years, including six years as the outreach director for Love in Action, once the world’s oldest and most renowned “ex-gay” ministry. He is a conversion therapy survivor. Tim holds a master’s degree in education, for which he researched cognition and transformational learning. He is a member of the American Psychological Association in the Educational Psychology division, as well as the Society for the Psychological Study of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transexual Issues. Tim’s work has appeared in several publications, including HuffPost and the Good Men Project where he writes on the confluence of religion, politics, and sexuality. He has also appeared on multiple podcasts, radio and television shows, including Fox News Radio and Vice News Media. Stories about his journey and work can be found in Buzzfeed, ThinkProgress, the Advocate, and Time. Tim is the co-host of the Recovering from Religion podcast. He is the author of Rethinking Everything: When Faith and Reality Don’t Make Sense (2018), Going Gay: My Journey from Evangelical Christian Minister to Self-Acceptance, Love, Life, and Meaning (2014) and the business book Everything I Learned about Management I Learned from Having a Kindergartner (2012). Tim's Website www.timrymel.com Everyone's Agnostic Social Media / Contact Info Website: everyonesagnostic.com Facebook: fb.me/everyonesagnostic Twitter: @evry1sagnostic Instagram: @everyonesagnostic YouTube: tinyurl.com/sayyestowhatis Patreon: link
Listen in on our conversation with Harold Sikkema, an artist and educator in Toronto, Canada. His roots in a Calvinist setting have shaped but not defined his path. Born to Dutch parents (on a mission project in Papua) he grew up in a rural Ontario bubble where the Bible was inerrant, evolution was a lie, and God's covenant people sang beautiful 16th century melodies carrying the gravity of eternity. The church offered redemption and certainty, but Harold's curious spirit was never really at home with rigid strictures. Encounters with ecumenical Christians in Geneva revealed a broader stream of life, while readings in philosophy, science, and the arts called into question the historical and ethical claims of literal religion. It was freeing to to see the Bible and its interpretation as a (creative) human production, but also challenging to carry new insights into the tightly woven fabric of faith, tradition, and family. In artistic practice, Harold explored new patterns and processes - a more critical thinking, seeing and making - but art in the church remained suspicious. Comfortable with dissonance, Harold saw that the creative tension in religion could be productive. Nevertheless, the anger stirred by creationist deception, patriarchal insistence, damaging dogma, and purity culture made it difficult to stay. Today, Harold is grateful for what wisdom has wound its way through the fray. He teaches college courses in design and code while developing spiral images from processed digital video. He enjoys cat fostering, and cooking with his partner, Deborah. Curiosity, he says, is the original spin. We interview people you don’t know, about a subject no one wants to talk about. We hope to encourage people in the process of deconstructing their faith and help curb the loneliness that accompanies it. We think the world is a better place when more people live by sight, not by faith. Please subscribe to our podcast, and leave a review wherever you listen to podcasts. Also, we offer these podcasts freely. And your support truly makes a difference. You can support us monetarily in two easy ways: you can pledge a monthly donation through Patreon. that’s www.patreon.com/eapodcast, or leave a lump-sum donation through PayPal at our website, www.everyonesagnostic.com. Where to Find Us: Email: everyonesagnostic at gmail dot com Website: everyonesagnostic.com Facebook: fb.me/everyonesagnostic Twitter: @evry1sagnostic Instagram: @everyonesagnostic YouTube: tinyurl.com/sayyestowhatis Patreon: link
This episode's structure is a little different than you're used to. First join us for 35 minutes as Cass chats with Bonnie from episode 162. They discuss painting murals in her hometown and ethical choices for living on earth, given this is the only one we have. Then eavesdrop on a conversation between Marie and Cass for an hour as they work through the dynamic of the podcast with Marie as the new co-host. Enjoy scintillating topics such as misogyny, tokenism, racism, sexism, intersectional feminism, and patriarchy. Lastly we lament the loss of our recording with Mrs. Betty Bower's creator and writing: Andrew Bradley. Saying yes to what is doesn't always feel good. We interview people you don’t know, about a subject no one wants to talk about. We hope to encourage people in the process of deconstructing their faith and help curb the loneliness that accompanies it. We think the world is a better place when more people live by sight, not by faith. Please subscribe to our podcast, and leave a review wherever you listen to podcasts. Also, we offer these podcasts freely. And your support truly makes a difference. You can support us monetarily in two easy ways: you can pledge a monthly donation through Patreon. that’s www.patreon.com/eapodcast, or leave a lump-sum donation through PayPal at our website, www.everyonesagnostic.com. Where to Find Us: Email: everyonesagnostic at gmail dot com Website: everyonesagnostic.com Facebook: fb.me/everyonesagnostic Twitter: @evry1sagnostic Instagram: @everyonesagnostic YouTube: tinyurl.com/sayyestowhatis Patreon: link Consider this phrase: my perception is my reality. First let me say that this is true. It's true to the individual. Maybe also to people groups or even nations. Disagreements, even wars, can be caused by different perceptions that create different realities. The parable of the blind men and an elephant places a group of blind men engaging an elephant for the first time. They each touch a different part of the elephant's body such as the ear, leg, trunk or tusk. They then describe the elephant based on their limited experience and upon insisting that they are right and the others are lying they come to blows. The moral of the parable is that humans have a tendency to claim absolute truth based on their limited, subjective perception as they ignore other people's limited, subjective perception which may be equally true. So while YOUR perception is YOUR reality, it is not necessarily the whole picture. It doesn't mean you're wrong AND it doesn't mean that differing positions aren't also right. When perceptions become mutually exclusive, the opposing parties may be in denial and insist on the rightness of their narrow view. Convincing them otherwise can be extremely difficult if not impossible. We form a bias around a perception and often don't want to be bothered with the facts. Humans once believed that the earth was flat. It must be, just look at it! We thought the sun and stars circled the earth because it looked that way. Galileo was ordered to turn himself in to the Holy Office to begin trial for holding the belief that the Earth revolves around the Sun, which was deemed heretical by the Catholic Church. ... Galileo agreed not to teach the heresy anymore and spent the rest of his life under house arrest. One social research study examined a pool of people’s opinions about federal welfare programs. The researchers found that the majority of people were highly-misinformed about the nature and scope of these programs, and that the people who were the least-informed about them generally expressed the highest degree of confidence in their knowledge. Furthermore, the researchers found that presenting people with facts about these welfare programs did little to change people’s opinion about them. However, in a follow-up study, the researchers discovered that tweaking the way they presented the facts made people respond more positively to the new evidence. In this follow-up, people were first asked to estimate the percentage of the national budget that is allocated towards welfare. Then, they were also asked what percent of the budget they believed should be spent on welfare. Posing these questions back-to-back led participants to contrast their perception of reality with their preferred level of spending, before they were told what portion of the budget is spent on welfare in reality. This meant that most of them had to process the fact that not only is the federal-spending lower than they thought, but it is also lower than the portion of the budget that they believed should be allocated to welfare. Thus the value of agnosticism: It guards against certainty. Much blood has been shed based on certainties that were just not true. Since perceptions can seem like realities, we build narratives which become foundations on which we build assumption upon assumption. When we discover that the assumption upon which all the others were based, it falls like a house of cards. To the degree in which we were invested in that narrative is the degree to which we will be embarrassed and maybe even traumatized. We were living a lie. them that we then act on or even live by. My wife and I were at a music concert once that was general admission. I saw some empty seats and approached them but a guy had his left leg stretched across them. We moved on thinking he was saving them. We noticed that no one ever came to sit there and he was just stretching out, hogging those seats, or so I thought. Turns out he had a full leg cast under his pants and couldn't straighten his leg. I had lunch this week with a friend who shared that she had a lucid dream when she was a young mother where she was visited by a messenger. The message was that her toddler son was going to die before her but not until after her father died. Fast forward 40 years and the woman's father died. That message had haunted her her entire life and now that her father was dead, she was riddled with fear and anxiety that her son was going to die at any moment. She built a narrative on a nocturnal brain fart. Sometimes we give perceptions way too much power and unmerited influence over our lives. My issue with this way of living is that a person is steered by external data. And the key problem there is "steered." Incoming data is unavoidable and amoral. The only person not interpreting events and circumstances is unconscious. However, if one does not have an inner core that is awake, aware and vibrant, they will likely live their life as one with no agency. They're childish. They are tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every conspiracy theory. What Jesus called, "a reed swayed by the wind." For lack of a better word, I'll call this thing the soul of a person. Souless people need to be told what to think, how to act, what to wear, who to be. They have no core. They are robotic, only able to do what their programmer coded. Computers that can adapt and think for themselves are called Artificial Intelligence. Perhaps this soul I'm talking about could also be called intelligence. Intelligence is one's ability to understand something. We're hearing more and more stories of people losing their parents or siblings to Fox News. Two years ago, on Episode 126, I interview Jen Senko who'd made a documentary film called "The Brainwashing of My Dad." If people are hollow inside, a vacuum is created that takes in counterfeit nourishment, pureed baby-food, served up by charlatans and conmen to the laziest, least intuitive minds over which they can easily overpower and influence for their causes--mainly the inflation of their wealth. The condition of soulessness--a person with no agency--fosters a type of insecurity that disables that person from bringing their person authentically into the room, precisely because they don't have one. No soul, no ownership of their ability to discern their world and make choices. Due to non-use, the muscles that empower one to think for oneself are atrophied. And they are preyed on by the greedy. And here we find ourselves. Corporations spotted the credulity of Christians and the GOP and corralled them into their fold to think, propagate, and vote their agenda. Wanna know why a large majority of Christians support Trump? They have no soul. The filled their God-shaped void with God alright. Human's imaginary gods have the substance of cotton candy--they leave you hungry and wanting more, the steady diet of which will make you lazy and fat. I believe there is no void. We're not born with it at least. We create the void by believing that we're not good enough, not worthy, not powerful, insignificant without a higher power. Those of us who left that brainwashing, soul-stealing lie have set out to rediscover our soul, our inner core, that was there all the time. Not so we can get an identity or "find ourselves," but so that we can begin living from that core toward the world, not the other way around. There is no self to find. There's only you showing up in the moment as whatever your soul wants to do or say in real time. No one and nothing should tell you who to be; you already are. I'll close with a prose by David Whyte posted by my friend Fiona. It's called THE SUBVERSIVE SOUL We tend to focus on, and speak about the soul-life of an individual in terms of spiritual comfort and deep nourishment, qualities which are a central, and abiding dynamic of its presence, but the equally unsettling and disturbing quality about this strange, often wild and courageous faculty of belonging inside us we have come to name ‘the soul’ is its ruthless, and almost tidal wish to find its own way to a fuller union with the world. The soul is a planner’s nightmare, the career counselor’s central puzzle, the biographer’s conundrum, the saboteur of the puritanical and the unimaginative; an internal abiding spring that is both a source and a flow: an internal stranger at the door of our outer life about to break everything apart; a pilgrim often suddenly more in love with the horizon than its home; and most disturbingly, someone who would much rather fail spectacularly at their own life than succeed, imprisoned drably by the ordinary, at someone else’s.
Cass Midgley and Marie D'Elephant We taped this conversation on Oct 17th, 2018. The intro music is by Dave Weckl called "Just Groove Me" The segue music on this episode is "Two Wounded Birds" by Caitlyn Smith Thanks for listening and Be a Yes-Sayer to what is. We interview people you don’t know, about a subject no one wants to talk about. We hope to encourage people in the process of deconstructing their faith and help curb the loneliness that accompanies it. We think the world is a better place when more people live by sight, not by faith. Please subscribe to our podcast, and leave a review wherever you listen to podcasts. Also, we offer these podcasts freely. And your support truly makes a difference. You can support us monetarily in two easy ways: you can pledge a monthly donation through Patreon. that’s www.patreon.com/eapodcast, or leave a lump-sum donation through PayPal at our website, www.everyonesagnostic.com. I want to introduce a new co-host on this show. Marie. She's been on the show as a guest before and we met in October at the retreat. I've wanted a woman's voice for some time and had considered two women as co-hosts when Bob left that just didn't pan out. I've done the show solo for several months and had pretty much settled into that as the new reality. When Marie offered to help out, it was initially in a managerial capacity. She handles all the social media associated with the podcast and schedules all the guests. But when she expressed a desire to co-host, I decided to give it a try and today is her first appearance in that capacity. Last note: We were listed in the top 30 Religious Podcasts by Feedspot! https://blog.feedspot.com/religious_podcasts/
Cass Midgley and Matthew O'Neil converse. Cass and Bob had Matthew on the show back in March of 2017, episode 142. Matthew is a prolific writer, activist, theologian, and teacher. He has an MA in Theology from Saint Michael's College and is a certified Humanist chaplain and celebrant. He is the author of several books including his latest, “Attrition” (through David G. McAfee’s publishing company Hypatia Press). It’s a fiction book that sheds light on the awful nature of the God character in the Bible as well as playing with the ideas of free will and determinism. We interview people you don’t know, about a subject no one wants to talk about. We hope to encourage people in the process of deconstructing their faith and help curb the loneliness that accompanies it. We think the world is a better place when more people live by sight, not by faith. Please subscribe to our podcast, and leave a review wherever you listen to podcasts. Also, we offer these podcasts freely. And your support truly makes a difference. You can support us monetarily in two easy ways: you can pledge a monthly donation through Patreon. that’s www.patreon.com/eapodcast, or leave a lump-sum donation through PayPal at our website, www.everyonesagnostic.com. We taped this conversation on Oct 17th, 2018.The intro music is by Dave Weckl called "Just Groove Me" The segue music on this episode is "Handyman" by AWOLNATIONThanks for listening and Be a Yes-Sayer to what is. Matthew O'Neil's books: "What the Bible Really Does (and Doesn't) Say About Sex: The How, When, Why, and With Whom of Scriptural Prohibitions and Permissions." "After Life: Solving Science and Religion's Great Disagreement" "Adam and Eve: Questioning the Historicity of Biblical Human Origins" "You Say That I Am: Jesus and the Messianic Problem." "Judas" “Attrition” You can also find Matthew on Twitter. If someone were to ask me what the most central and solid truth is I would say "life is hard." Everything we do is in some way a form of coping with its hardness. 24 hours a day. Even sleeping. But awake, working to give ourselves meaning but even more important, money. Laughing to stay sane, learning to add tools to our belt, skills to propel us forward and above the pack. Drugs, alcohol, religion, porn to make us forget how hard life is. Constantly hurling through space. Ever since the Big Bang when our slumber was interrupted. When our unity, connectedness, oneness and belonging was blasted into a billion pieces hurling into space at the speed of light. Are we expanding or contracting? Every atom always moving, gyrating, bouncing, bounding. The nucleus full of positively charged particles, and negative charges surrounded it, just like our lives. Electrons move in large empty space of an atom in set orbits. sleep, wake, eat, shit, work, play, fuck, read, watch TV, sleep, wake, etc. They say even the atoms of a wooden table are always moving. But never touching. We never touch anything. Particles are, by their very nature, attracted to particles with an opposite charge, and they repel other similarly charged particles. This prevents electrons from ever coming in direct contact, in an atomic sense and literal sense. Their wave packets, on the other hand, can overlap, but never touch. Nothing ever touches anything. We try, we press, we make love, we wrestle, we hug, we dance, always moving, never touching. We attract and repel. We have a love/hate relationship with everything. We delightfully bask in the warmth of the sun as it burns our skin and creates cancer. When we're tired of being alone we crave being with loved ones only to soon crave being alone for the fatigue of being together. We hate humans smells and love them. We love onions and hate arm pit odor. We're repelled by skunk smell but love the smell of coffee, we hate the smell of farts but eat hard boiled eggs, (and we rarely pinch our nose at our own farts), we eat cheese that smells like smegma, and what's our relationship to fish? Why does our blood taste like iron? Our we the elements of the universe? Dirt and rocks and metals and fungus? Are we shattered stardust that misses its mommy? the pre-big bang warmth of our womb? to nurse at the teat of the cosmos? separation anxiety? abandonment issues? Why do we try to get inside each other? with our tongues and fingers and dicks and dildos? why are comforted by large bodies of water? by the ebb and flow of the tide? by going under water? the amniotic fluid of the silent cosmos? the muffled beating of our mother's hearts? What do we need from each other? Why are we always lacking something? Something is always missing? We're always missing something? what's that snack I'm craving, what's that emotion I miss, what need was temporarily met by that person, that song, that career--all fleeting and unpredictable like the wind. The wind that makes trees hiss and also rips them out of the ground? we're afraid of the dark and drawn to the light, chilled by the cold, warmed by the fire, DOES NOTHING EVER STOP? IS IT ALWAYS PUSH AND PULL? IN AND OUT? HIGH AND LOW? No wonder all animals have to sleep every night! it's exhausting being alive! like clothes tossed about in the dryer, the tumbling 24 hour cycle of our rotating earth, and her annual trips around the sun, the gyroscope motion of the planets and the atoms inside a pin-head, always moving never stopping, even our sleep our minds are creating stories, fantasies, horrors, and sex scenes, where the push/pull of intercourse is desperate to get deeper inside another, in a primal dance between power and vulnerability, tenderness and violence, pleasure and pain, and out of these frictions of rubbing two sticks together or flint rock on steel, a star is born, a seed finds its egg and it all starts over again in a climax of fireworks and big bangs and booms in the unending, unpredictable thrashing of wind and rain, fire and ice, time and space, work and play, laughter and tears, grief and elation, life and death, generation after generation, now worm food in the earth in a compost make rich by the carbon salad of every plant, animal, insect, human and bird who ever fell in that spot and rotted, making space for new life that will crave to be together with those we love and at war with those we fear, but the show must go on, I go to work tomorrow, I make small talk tomorrow, I eat, shit and sleep tomorrow just like today until my consciousness stops in a long awaited rest that I will not experience. And my skin, this skin, that I can smell on my forearm, and feel the little hairs on my nose and the muscle and bone underneath will contribute to the cycle until the next big bang. Yeah, life is hard. But its all there is. I'm literally nothing without it. And so here we find ourselves. Big picture perspectives like this make me love you. Help me forgive you. Provoke me to laugh at you and all of us and everything. Maybe the best advice from a silly source that was entirely lost on me: "row row row your boat gently down the stream, merrily merrily merrily merrily, life is but a dream." Is it any wonder that we sing that in the round?
Cass Midgley talks with Ryan Bell. Ryan J. Bell is a former Seventh-day Adventist pastor who became an atheist after spending 2014, a "year without God", as an experiment. In August 2015, Ryan launched a new blog and podcast called "Life After God." He currently serves as the National Organizing Manager for the Secular Student Alliance, an organization that empowers secular students on college campuses across the US to proudly express their identity, build welcoming communities, promote secular values, and set a course for lifelong activism. Ryan is also the Humanist Chaplain at the University of Southern California. His story of gradual deconversion was covered by national and international news outlets including CNN, NPR, BBC, CBC, LA Times and Sunrise in Australia. He received a Master of Divinity degree from Andrews University in Berrien Springs, Michigan and a Doctor of Ministry in Missional Leadership from Fuller Theological Seminary in Pasadena, California. Ryan is a writer, educator and public speaker and has expertise in subjects ranging from religion, intercultural communication, bioethics and brewing coffee. We interview people you don’t know, about a subject no one wants to talk about. We hope to encourage people in the process of deconstructing their faith and help curb the loneliness that accompanies it. We think the world is a better place when more people live by sight, not by faith. Please subscribe to our podcast, and leave a review wherever you listen to podcasts. Also, we offer these podcasts freely. And your support truly makes a difference. You can support us monetarily in two easy ways: you can pledge a monthly donation through Patreon. that’s www.patreon.com/eapodcast, or leave a lump-sum donation through PayPal at our website, www.everyonesagnostic.com. We taped this conversation on Oct 8th, 2018. The intro music is by Dave Weckl called "Just Groove Me" The segue music on this episode is titled "Dudes" by David Mead Thanks for listening and Be a Yes-Sayer to what is. http://www.lifeaftergod.org/ https://www.facebook.com/ourlifeaftergod/ I don't usually use this platform to make arguments for or against the existence of gods. As the title exclaims, no one knows and thus when it comes to whether a being started the Big Bang or is somehow involved in the affairs of life on earth, no one knows. But, it all just smacks of human origin, imagination and projection. All the theistic gods are far too anthropomorphic (which is human-like) to be the unknowable, unimaginable, ineffable god that is so ethereal that even if he/she/it does exist, what difference does it make? So, at the end of the day, life is happening exactly as it would if there were no god, so let's get on with it. In fact, the banner of the Life After God Facebook site reads "Ended relationship with God. It was time." That's why some call themselves apatheists, because who gives a fuck. I've often said that atheism is the best practice of theism because if we got on with the reality of life and the struggles of being human and stop looking to the heavens for help or guidance, we'd fix our own goddamn problems, which is what a good god would want. But I bring this up today because I was shocked by something this week that reminded of the strength of the argument against the existence of God that is known best as the problem of evil. As you know, I am an unapologetic lover of what it means to be human. Sure, I could easily hate it, hate humans and hate how hard my fucking life is, but then I'm left with contrasting that with the alternative, which is utter nothingness. Unconscious. Zilch. No experience whatsoever. So yeah, if I've got to be here (or should I say GET to be here), let's do this. Let's love one another and make the best of things. But because I know that day is coming when I will fade to black, I'm also learning what battles to pick, what's important and what is not, and for damn sure, God is not. And that's how she likes it! But seriously, you all know I love orgasm. I love cold fried chicken, snow skiing, watching the Final Four, sorting out shit in my brain while I mow the lawn, Donald Fagen's music, and most of all--sex! I love the celebration of our bodies as playgrounds, I love it when people can be naked and not overly conscious of it. I love watching people fuck, all right? But a couple of times in my life, while exploring the internet for naked people enjoying themselves, I've stumbled onto some horrific, tragic, despicable, evil shit. The kind that is shocking, heart-breaking and utterly devastating to the poor soul that sees it and can't unsee it, but moreso, the real human being to which this inhumane treatment is being imposed. That happened!! And I can't unsee it. And then I ponder, "it's happening right now, somewhere in the world, maybe thousands of places--bedrooms, hotel rooms, backrooms, locked basements, children, sex-trafficking, and rape--it's all happening right now." Then I remember the few times that I've accidentally brushed my cigarette against my arm and how quickly and surprisingly painful that is and how some parents do that on purpose to their children, and the thousands of parents that I don't think have any business being parents and the unfairness of innocent children being introduced into a world they didn't have any say in entering, to parents they didn't choose, into bodies they didn't choose. Who we get to be on earth is a total lottery. No justice to it whatsoever. I have a nurse friend who worked in a children's hospital for years before it just took a toll on her and had to change careers. Right now, as we speak, countless, unspeakable evils are happening to millions of people. Screams. Horrors. Pain. Hell, this week, Saudi journalist Jamal Khashoggi was said to have been murdered by dismembering him while he was still alive. And it took 7 minutes for him to die! And historically this is the least violent century in human history. Unimaginable evil has happened every second of every day around the world for over 200,000 years and if ANY of us were all powerful... even as unloving and selfish as we are as humans... compared to the alleged all-knowing, all-loving character of god, we would do something or go insane. And yet god does NOTHING?!?! Any one of us would be a better god than that and put a stop to it, even if it meant putting a stop to all life. Fuck it, we'd do it, to stop the screams and suffering and injustice. We'd at least scrap this fucking disaster and start over with a better plan. So, yeah. There is no god in this god-forsaken universe. It's just us here. I got behind a car this week with a bumper sticker that said "protected by angels" and I just wanted to ram it just to show how delusional, childish, and cowardly that mindset is. Wake up! That kind of stupidity and magic-thinking is why these same evangelicals elected one of the worst specimens of a human being on the planet to the highest office on the planet, because God. God's gonna save us and he's gonna use the weak things of the world to confound the wise, those liberals, those smarty-pants, educated libtards. We'll show them. They think they can solve our problems with getting smarter and education and science and thinking and working together and cooperating and CARING! All those good things are filthy rags to a god who wants glory, who wants to show off, and the more incompetent the human being God uses, the more credit he gets. THIS IS NOT A GAME! THIS IS NOT MAKE BELIEVE! Evil is real and humans are doing it and if we're going to make this world tolerable, it will be humans that do it. Cause the only thing that stops a bad man with a god is good people without one.
No guest this week. Just an announcement that this podcast is changing from weekly episodes to bi-weekly (or is it bi-monthly?)--every other week. Also, 7 attendees of the 1st EA Podcast Retreat share their reflections on their experience. We interview people you don’t know, about a subject no one wants to talk about. We hope to encourage people in the process of deconstructing their faith and help curb the loneliness that accompanies it. We think the world is a better place when more people live by sight, not by faith. Please subscribe to our podcast, and leave a review wherever you listen to podcasts. Also, we offer these podcasts freely. And your support truly makes a difference. You can support us monetarily in two easy ways: you can pledge a monthly donation through Patreon. that’s www.patreon.com/eapodcast, or leave a lump-sum donation through PayPal at our website, www.everyonesagnostic.com.
We rerun episode 81 from January 2016. Cass and Dr. Bob converse with Kristi Kiger (now Upman). Kristi is one of those that doesn’t have a book or a blog, she’s a nurse with a big heart for people broken on the wheels of life and an avid social justice worker. Kristi only left Christianity 6 months ago so the feelings are still pretty fresh. Like many good-hearted people, she found Christianity attractive as a vehicle by which she could make the world a better place. It was not shoved down her throat as a child; she chose it as a young adult through high school and college and worked 10 years for a Christian non-profit outreach in Washington DC. But people who enter religion in pursuit of love and justice will often find that pursuit hitting the wall of conditional love and justice for which the Christian church is infamous. Credits: "Towering Mountain of Ignorance" intro by Hank Green https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w3v3S82TuxU Intro bumper "Never Know" by Jack Johnson All other music is by Cass Midgley Thanks for listening and be a yes-sayer to what is. Ryan Bell’s site: http://lifeaftergod.org/
Cass Midgley interviews Andy Chaleff, author of "The Last Letter." We interview people you don’t know, about a subject no one wants to talk about. We hope to encourage people in the process of deconstructing their faith and help curb the loneliness that accompanies it. We think the world is a better place when more people live by sight, not by faith. Please subscribe to our podcast, and leave a review wherever you listen to podcasts. Also, we offer these podcasts freely. And your support truly makes a difference. You can support us monetarily in two easy ways: you can pledge a monthly donation through Patreon. that’s www.patreon.com/eapodcast, or leave a lump-sum donation through PayPal at our website, www.everyonesagnostic.com. We taped this conversation on Sept 29th, 2018. The intro music is by Dave Weckl called "Just Groove Me" The segue music on this episode is "The Living Years" by Mike and the Mechanics. Thanks for listening and be a Yes-Sayer to what is. http://www.thelastletter.com/ https://www.meaningfulrelations.com/ https://www.instagram.com/inspirevulnerability/ Andy Chaleff is a private mentor and advisor to a handful of high-profile business leaders. He has been behind the scenes of many of the disruptions in mindfulness and education today. eMindful, InnerExplorer, SOLE and The Cleveland Municipality School District are just a few of the clients that he has helped guide to success.His approach is unconventional. He lives with clients for a week at a time and touches all aspects of their lives, from child rearing to office intrigue, childhood trauma to facing death. His clients see him less as a business coach and more as a guide and partner in a lifelong journey.Andy’s work is a byproduct of his own life story. He left the U.S. at age twenty to escape the sadness of his mother’s death, traveling the world. After backpacking for years, he finally set roots in Austria, where he helped to take an IT company public in 1997. He has visited over sixty countries and lived in seven of them around the world. In spite of his business success, Andy felt empty inside. In 2005 he sold everything he owned to embark on a radical life do-over. After experiencing profound inner transformation, he founded a coaching business with his dear friend and mentor, Cees de Bruin. Their company, Meaningful Relations, helped thousands of people in more than twenty countries.Andy is a walking paradox. He is as loving as he is provocative, and his mentoring style is equal parts unsettling and comforting, irreverent and compassionate. His mother affectionately called him, “My little shit-stirrer.”Andy founded the non-profit, The Last Letter, which goes by the same name as the book that he published, inviting individuals to share their feelings in letters to loved ones. His life's work is helping people connect with themselves and others through vulnerability and self-awareness. He helps people transform their most feared and painful emotions into their greatest source of motivation and connection.When he is not consulting clients, he serves as the Director at Amsterdam’s Welvaren Training Center. He enjoys Amsterdam and bores people with the history of the city whenever he has the chance. Andy lives between Amsterdam and London, with a few months of the year spent in the US. My conversation with Andy made me think of two movies, both of which illustrate the beauty of naivete. Naivete is an ignorance of norms of some kind--cultural, social, religious, political, logical, etc. Naivete can be bad or good for us depending on that which we're ignoring AND the amount of agency that is intact while acting on our ignorances. In other words, whether they are chosen by us, or we've fallen prey to them. Andy is the former. He's fully aware of how the world works, the norms of culture, society, logic, etc. And has seemingly chosen to transcend them and live his own life, follow his own gut, march to his own drum. In this sense it can't really be called naivete, can it. So for lack of a better word, I call it Zen. He walks 6 inches off the ground the rest of walk on. Now I know some woo-woo people who think they don't live by the same natural laws that the rest of us do, but that can be self-delusional. But Andy's practice walks right along the edge of that cliff without going over. As an ex-Christian, I cringe at how naive I was to believe as literally as I did. To be a fundamentalist Christian, one must check their skepticism at the door. So in a way, it is willful naivete but not coming from within, but pressures from without--peer pressure, everyone's doing it, the fear of Hell, the desire to please God and people, etc. So still no agency. One of the movies is called Enchanted, with Amy Adams and Patrick Dempsey. It's about a young maiden named Gisele who lives in a land called Andalasia--a beautiful place, displayed in cartoon animation, reminiscent of Disney fairy tale films. Andalasia is a fantasy world with a lot less trouble or problems than the real world, and as a result, emotions such as anger and frustration are rarely experienced by its inhabitants. Gisele is cast into the real world by an evil witch and we, the viewers, are transported into live action filming. The beauty for me is Gisele doesn't let the real world bring her down the cynical pessimism that is prevalent. She stays naive and it's refreshing to see. In this clip, she believes a prince charming character is coming to get her because a squirrel told her. Dempsey's character, a real human, tries to talk sense into her. Here he models a healthy skepticism by our standards, but in this metaphor she calls him out for being a no-sayer. An argument ensues and Gisele experiences anger for the first time and it feels good. My guest today, Andy, grew up thinking anger was bad because his dad was a rager. He suppressed his own anger in fear that he would become like his father. As a part of his therapy, he learned to be honest with his feelings and his body and no be ashamed of being human. Gisele is not ashamed of being naive. In fact she chooses it, like Andy. That being said (and spoiler alert), she ends up staying a human, letter her cartoon prince return to Andalasia, and falls in love with Dempsey. Because in the spirit of the dialectic, they were both right--his realism and her willful naivete. The second movie is The Man Who Knew Too Little with my hero, Bill Murray. Murray is a naive Blockbuster Video clerk, named Wallace Ritchie, who travels from Des Moines, Iowa, to London to celebrate his birthday with his wealthy younger brother, James. When Wallace turns up on the same night that James has plans to attend a high-profile client dinner party where he hopes to bring in millions from a German investment firm, James needs to keep Wallace away during the evening, so he gives Wallace a ticket to the participatory Theater of Life. The theater game requires Wallace to assume a character and interact with actors portraying people in dramatic situations. At the corner phone booth, where the game is to begin with instructions of his mission, should he choose to take it, an actual call intended for an actual assassin rings first, unbeknownst to the producers of the show and Wallace, and he's now a part of a scheme to kill some key figures and revive the Cold War. Wallace leaves the phone booth to begin his mission--oblivious to its criminal intent, and the real assassin gets the call from the Theater of Life. Blissfully unaware, Wallace walks without fear into a complex web of intrigue involving defense ministers, call girls, and Russian hitmen. For Wallace, all the world's a stage, and he's amazed at the skill of the actors, while his pursuers are mystified by their adversary's fearlessness in the face of threats, torture and bullets. In this clip, Wallace, played by Murray, (did I mention that?) has started his quest, thinking he's being filmed for the show, The Theater of Life, when he's approached by two actual hooligans wielding real knives. So, perhaps you can see how these two movies demonstrate a way, albeit fictional and metaphorical, for us in the real world to take everything less serious, especially ourselves. Andy got so depressed after his mother died that he wanted to die. Instead of killing himself, he killed the anxious, depressed, fearful Andy and resurrected as the fearless, transcendent Andy you're about to meet. I need people to model for me those characteristics I truly aspire to be--caged up within me, afraid to emerge. Gisele, Wallace, Bill Murray himself, and Andy Chaleff are examples that encourage, enable and empower me to step into a more authentic version of myself--fearless, naive, and yes-sayers.
Cass Midgley converses with Arael Avinu founder of fullydeconverted.com. Fully Deconverted websiteFully Deconverted Facebook Group We interview people you don’t know, about a subject no one wants to talk about. We hope to encourage people in the process of deconstructing their faith and help curb the loneliness that accompanies it. We think the world is a better place when more people live by sight, not by faith. Please subscribe to our podcast, and leave a review wherever you listen to podcasts. Also, we offer these podcasts freely. And your support truly makes a difference. You can support us monetarily in two easy ways: you can pledge a monthly donation through Patreon. that’s www.patreon.com/eapodcast, or leave a lump-sum donation through PayPal at our website, www.everyonesagnostic.com. We taped this conversation on August 26th, 2018. The intro music is by Dave Weckl called "Just Groove Me" The segue music on this episode is an instrumental version of "Heathen" by Stars from SteetlightsThanks for listening, and be a yes-sayer to what is. Arael Avinu is the founder of Fully DE/converted, a platform dedicated to disenfranchising dogma. Arael was involved in Christian ministry outreach for over 20 years as a "born-again" Evangelical. It was his exposure to academia and other cultures which caused him to begin critically analyzing what he believed and why. Arael deconverted from Christianity after realizing that its supernatural claims weren't evidently true. The vision of Fully DE/converted is to draw awareness to claims of incontrovertible issues through discourse and storytelling to demonstrate that there are no authorities on truth except for truth itself. Fully DE/converted adds value to the community by producing original content and hosting discussions on our most cherished values. Fully DE/converted and its team can be found on Facebook, YouTube, Instagram, Twitter, and in podcast form. Before we get into my talk with Arael...Steve Birss, a regular listener of this podcast. is in a band called Stars From Streetlights and all three of the members of the band grew up in Christianity, and for different reasons and at different times, all walked away from Christianity. They write songs that explore their questions and doubts, and their latest release is called Heathen, which I'm going to feature here. The lyrics are: “You’ll feel lost once you’ve lost your way”But, they’re just afraid of what it means to be freeOf a hell that waits so... patientlyOf what it means to be free, when you don’t believeWhat if we lived for today?What if we stopped searching for “the only way”?What if we lived?A rich history on a man who was poorYet the wealthy folk use it as a way to make warI used to hold onto the fact that the veil had been tornNow I find peace in the fact that I fail to conformI went from baptized to chastisedI kept it to myself, I couldn’t stand to see my dad cryAnd when my friend needed treatmentI prayed to a god that I don’t believe inI’m decent, but I never was a deaconCommunion bread and grape juiceStill I sunk my teeth inIt’s recent, I’ve been finally finding freedomAnd if that makes me Heathen I guess I’m glad to be thenAnd if that makes me Heathen I guess I’m glad to be thenWhat if we lived for today?(If this the life that I’m given, then you know I’m gonna live it, life life that I’m given, so you know I’m gonna live it)What if we stopped searching for “the only way”?(If this the life that I’m given then you know I’m gonna live it)What if we lived?Saved by the graceThat I’ve given to myself I’ve come alive Saved by the graceThat I’ve given to myself I’ve come aliveWhat if we lived for today?(If this the life that I’m given, then you know I’m gonna live it, life life that I’m given, so you know I’m gonna live it)What if we lived for today?**prayed to a god that I don’t believe in**(If this the life that I’m given then you know I’m gonna live it)What if we lived?**and if that makes me Heathen then I guess I’m glad to be then** That's the band, "Stars From Streetlights" with my friend Steve Birss. Another member of the band wrote about that song, “Heathen was born out of the freedom that resulted from admitting our unbelief. Its a song about being honest with yourself about the questions you have regarding your faith. We wanted to be focused on living for today instead of living for the afterlife; embracing the here and now instead of fearing hell. Ultimately, It’s a song about hope, grace, life, and freedom...without God.” There's links to the song in the show notes. Stars From Streetlights' song "Heathen"iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/album/heathen-feat-transit-22-single/1434009267 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/album/70f1tPgCWzeOg4JEpyUBMa The New Testament, in a book called Hebrews, there's a definition of faith. It's in chapter 11 verse 1. Which is interesting, isn't it? One one one. Three in one? I'm just kidding. It's random. It goes like this, "Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." Honestly, I think this is a powerful concept--faith. Not in god, of course, but in things we know to be true, even when we can't see it at the moment. I say this because sometimes our brain plays tricks on us. Especially those of us who have episodes of depression or anxiety or panic or delusion. Imagine being overwhelmed with fears and/or a barrage of negative thoughts about one's self and/or one's circumstance. "You're a failure," says the voice in our head. "This mess is unsolvable." "You're really bad at staying on top of your game." "You kinda suck at figuring this out; here you are again in this funk. What about this do you not understand?" or "Everyone thinks you're annoying." "All your friends are starting to lose respect for you." "Or do you really have friends at all?" "Secretly, they think you're ______." When we're coming from a place of fear, self-pity, resentment, victimhood or insecurity, we're going to misconstrue our interactions with people. We're going to think they're saying _______ when, in fact, they're saying something very different, maybe even the opposite of what you think they're thinking. After a while, it's like they're speaking German and you're speaking Spanish and no amount of raising your voices or repeating yourselves is going to break through the communication barrier; in fact, it makes it worse, escalates everyone's emotions and someone invariably storms out of the room, when any calm, civilized, mature audience would've seen that you were both saying very similar things, maybe even in full agreement with each other but because defensiveness and fear closed you up, their lips are moving but you can't hear what they're saying. This is where I think Faith comes in handy. "Faith is being sure of what you hope for and certain of what you do not see." For whatever reason--either you're guarded and feeling inferior or they're scared and feeling small, or both at the same time--you don't see them as your loving friend, spouse, or child, and vice versa. You no longer believe in them--that they love you, that they only want good for you, that they would take a bullet for you. Right now, in this moment...of intensity, and high blood pressure, and strong words, and loud voices, NO...they are not to be trusted. Part of saying yes to what is is saying no to what isn't. If it isn't true, don't believe it. If it is, believe it even if you can't see it right now. We're humans! We're complicated. We're NEVER our "best" selves--that mother fucker doesn't exist. The sooner you put him/her to rest, the sooner you get on with your life. So when we gather, shit happens, things are said, if not in words, its passive aggressive body language, smirks, facial expressions. IF WE HAVE AN IDEA IN OUR HEAD ABOUT WHAT ANOTHER PERSON IS THINKING, WE'RE GOING TO SEE EVERYTHING THEY DO AS A CONFIRMATION OF THAT PRE-EXISTING BIAS. But if it's not true, then there's nothing that they or you can do to get the truth to each other, and you run away mad, hurt, confused and embarrassed. Have faith in each other, goddammit! You know they're good people!?! Hell, 99% of the people on this planet are good and that's just because that bad 1% have something wrong with their brains. They'd be good too if something was rubbing up against that part of their brain that makes them want to fuck children or whatever. Give people the benefit of the doubt. Doubt? What doubt? THE DOUBT THAT THEY'RE A BAD PERSON! or that they're against you in this moment. Doubt it! and the and you will benefit from listening to that doubt. You're brain is fucking with you. Your fears are fucking with you. Doubt them and believe what you can't see right now because your enveloped in the fog of the destructive form of doubt--that they love you and area good person. Don't build a wall of protection between you. You're only building a prison for yourself and you'll find yourself alone. The very thing you feared most is now upon you and fear itself led you there. We truly have nothing to fear but fear itself. Conversely, we can have true conversations, REAL, where we actually listen and thus learn. I mean it. Learn. I'm not always good at what I'm about to prescribe, but don't come to the conversation to teach, come to learn. Give yourself the benefit of the doubt--the doubt that you've got this figured out. Doubt your certainty and actually listen. (I'm self-talking right now). Who's more powerful? the person who is unafraid to be wrong and/or corrected? or the one knows they're right? on the other hand, who's more powerful? the person who is confident in their hard-earned knowledge on the subject and thus doesn't have to yell or get excited or interrupt, or that other guy who yells, gets excited and interrupts. (not to be confused with certainty, mind you) Hopefully you've seen the Ruth Bader Ginsburg documentary. As one who debates and argues for a living, she learned early on to never raise her voice or belittle her opponents, because it only reveals the weakness of her argument. Contrast that with Trump. Can you see how scared he is? How insecure? How fragile? His narcissism is a defense mechanism for his small self-image. Now, let's acknowledge that his narcissism did what narcissism does--it elevated him to high places. The highest place on earth, in fact. That's how profound his narcissism is. But he lacks true power because his insecurities feed back into his narcissism and thus he learns nothing, knows nothing, hears nothing, acknowledges nothing. ZERO humility. ZERO ability to doubt himself. Which is what makes him so dangerous. The lights are on but no one's home. Contrast that kind of narcissism with my guest today--Arael. This guy's belief in himself is very powerful. He deconverted a year ago and his internet presence through fullydeconverted.com has exploded and is already helping other deconverters. He's rubbing shoulders with some big names, he's building a community! Honestly, I was pretty sure he was going to be arrogant because of how alpha he is. BUT, I doubted that presumption enough to give him a chance, open myself up, be vulnerable, and you can hear both us kind of thaw out as the show progresses. once we get past walking around each other in a circle, smelling each other's asses. No, that didn't really happen, but you get the picture of two alpha males trying figure out who's cooler or smarter or whatever. Competition and comparison is the American way, you know. But fuck that. After we finished the taped portion, we talked for another 30 minutes about this type of work and by the tone set during the interview we were actually listening to each other and learning from each other. It was truly beautiful to me. And I get the impression that Arael had some pretty difficult circumstances to overcome growing up, so the fact that he's ascended to where he is today is even more testimony to his belief in himself that is counter-balanced with a genuine humility and teachability that is truly admirable. Just like all human attributes, there's a spectrum, and I think a healthy does of narcissism (which is really small) can be that thing that pushes you out onto stages your insecurity kept you off of. Have faith in what is true--even if you can't see it at that moment. We obviously don't have faith in invisible friends anymore, but I think it's powerful thing to have faith in your fellow human beings and... your self. That is, of course, until the evidence says they're not really trustworthy after all. Bill Cosby was sentenced to 3 to 10 years in prison this week as a serial rapist. Dr. Huckstable was hiding something to keep up the facade. Fake people can't be trusted and thus are not worthy of our faith. But I'm choosing to start and maintain my relationship with people through faith-- believing in their goodness, that they love me and themselves, that's its a safe-space to be with them even when they're being a dick; learning to know the difference in them having a bad day or when the pattern and consistency of their toxicity is truly something for which I have to throw up a boundary, and lose faith in them. Even then, they're not a bad person, they're just mentally ill and they need to own and get some help. I even feel that way about Trump. He's not a bad, even if he's the worst you've ever seen in your life--he's mentally ill and needs to own it, resign and get some help. But don't hold your breath. I want to be slow and reluctant to cast people as bad for me, especially if I'm coming from a place of inferiority, insecurity or resentment. So that's my talk with Arael. Good guy. Doing good in the world. He's not idle or slothful, is he? He's up and adam and doing things. Powerful, actually. again his org can be found at fullydeconverted.com. My thanks to James Exline for introducing Arael to me. If you'd like to share your story on this podcast contact me at midgley.cass@gmail.com or if you're a faithful listener of this podcast and its made a difference in your life and would like to come to our weekend retreat in the Smokies of east TN west NC, then contact me
Cass Midgley talks with Casper Rigsby. I had Casper on back on episode 153 and being how he lives right here in Murfreesboro, I invited him over for a little chat about the state of the union and the subject of Identity. We interview people you don’t know, about a subject no one wants to talk about. We hope to encourage people in the process of deconstructing their faith and help curb the loneliness that accompanies it. We think the world is a better place when more people live by sight, not by faith. Please subscribe to our podcast, and leave a review wherever you listen to podcasts. Also, we offer these podcasts freely. And your support truly makes a difference. You can support us monetarily in two easy ways: you can pledge a monthly donation through Patreon. that’s www.patreon.com/eapodcast, or leave a lump-sum donation through PayPal at our website, www.everyonesagnostic.com. We taped this conversation on August 19th, 2018. The intro music is by Dave Weckl called "Just Groove Me"The segue music on this episode is "We Care A Lot" by Faith No More. Thanks for listening, and be a yes-sayer to what is. Casper is a prolific blogger and has personally published 7 books, including his best-selling title, "The Bible in a Nutshell." His work ranges from comedic blasphemy to philosophical inquiry and discourse. He was also nominated in 2015 for the Hitchens Prize which recognizes “an author or journalist whose work reflects a commitment to free expression and inquiry, a range and depth of intellect, and a willingness to pursue the truth without regard to personal or professional consequence.” To me, he's a young man, probably around 30, with a strong mind, a big heart, and a feral determination to thrive. He and I have very different histories. I don't know much about this because he doesn't talk about it much, but he served time in prison and was involved in white supremacy. Perhaps that's why he's so vehement now against it. I love him and I think you'll gain something from being with him for 45 minutes. Message from listener: "Hi Cass, I really loved and appreciated the episode with David Hayward. My deconstruction began almost two years ago when I lost my 21-year-old daughter in a tragic UTV accident in which she was a passenger. She was home for the weekend from her Air Force duty station in SC. I lost a husband at 24 that was very difficult, but losing my daughter has destroyed my foundation and all that I knew. I was a student pastor at the time and had been an active devout christian for 3 years. A short time, but I was all in. I went from being a believer to a disciple very quickly. I had grown up "knowing" there was a god and I was supposed to get right with him one day. And so I finally did. Joined the church and served with all that I had to give...three years later on a Sunday, my best friend, part of my everything, was taken from me. The night we lost Morgan, my faith began to collapse. Where was god when I prayed for my child to survive. Where was he when I was lying on the floor day in and day out in agony wishing for my breath to escape my body and never return? Where was he when all the people abandoned me and my family? Where was he in all of my questions and pleadings? Nowhere, I learned. I learned the night of the accident that prayer doesn't work. It's nothing but mere words to a sky. Soon after, within weeks, the pastor informed me "I needed to be at church, so people could love me." I guess meeting me in my brokenness at my home was too much. I needed to be in their comfort zone. I couldn't comply. The church, the people were soon gone...before the casseroles could get cold actually. It was then that I learned that the holy spirit was a lie. People aren't changed by anything. They are the same selfish people they've always been. That was step two in my deconstruction. Step three was realizing that when I stopped brainwashing myself with singing, bible reading and teaching, and Sunday services suddenly god was gone. I never felt him after I lost my child. Not one time in my pleading, begging, and praying for something, anything, did I get a reassurance that my child was in Heaven, he didn't do this, he was good...or any of the stuff I needed. I learned it was because he was never there. It was all in my head.....Step four was when I enrolled at university to pursue the undergraduate degree my daughter was in the process of getting. I had my children young so I put off getting my degree to raise them and work. I wanted to do this to honor her. As I began taking classes, at a christian university of all things, I began to learn about the early church and its beginnings in a western civilization class.....this added to my newly formed belief that the church and religion were nothing more than man-created ways to handle the existential issues of life. Well, that and a way to rob men of their money and time. I also began exploring on the internet and in books all the things I had closed my mind to to keep from being of the world when I was a believer. Books, articles, websites, etc that were filled with rational information helped me see that what I was learning and feeling was legitimate. I soon left the christian university and transferred to the university my daughter attended before joining the air force. I'm in my sophomore year there now. I say all this just to give some background as to why I related to this episode with David so much. In addition to my husband and I losing our daughter, we lost our faith. Our complete beings were attacked and therefore so was our marriage. It has definitely been hard with both of those combined weights attacking it from all angles. We are fighting though. We have 16 years together and we both believe its worth the uphill climb. Some days are really hard. Neither of us is the same person, and we are having to relearn each other, grieve, help the other grieve, help our surviving daughter (who was at the accident that took her sister) deal with PTSD, and create new meaning, all while doing the necessary tasks that life demands. I have related to many of your guests and I'm thankful for the echo chamber and think tank that you provide with this podcast. Validation is a very important thing for humans in order to not feel alone and isolated, which is very easy to do in a situation such as ours. I need it in the loss of my child and grief, and I need it in the loss of god and the grief that that brings. Thank you for your wisdom and for sharing your own journey, as well as those of your guests. What a great way to create meaning in your life, helping us who are new on this journey. Much love to you Cass. (I added her to the private support group on FB - ep207 death, ep216 Grief) Leisha: Thank you for adding me to the group and for sharing those episodes. I will most definitely be listening. I am grateful for this community. Damn this is a lonely place. Especially where I live: Rural, bible-loving, preacher-growing, conservative sweet home Alabama. Ugh... I love the place but finding like minded people is extremely difficult. Online communities and support are all I have with the exception of my support group for bereaved parents, which is full of people who believe they will see their child in heaven. My daughter lived life fully and on the edge, never scared of anything... I was always fearful of losing her and then I did. And the Christian's wanted me to believe it was god's plan. Well the hell with that and their god... what an asshole. I'd rather accept that hes not there than think he chose, caused, or planned this for her or I.
Cass Midgley interviews David Hayward. We interview people you don’t know, about a subject no one wants to talk about. We hope to encourage people in the process of deconstructing their faith and help curb the loneliness that accompanies it. We think the world is a better place when more people live by sight, not by faith. Please subscribe to our podcast, and leave a review wherever you listen to podcasts. Also, we offer these podcasts freely. And your support truly makes a difference. You can support us monetarily in two easy ways: you can pledge a monthly donation through Patreon. that’s www.patreon.com/eapodcast, or leave a lump-sum donation through PayPal at our website, www.everyonesagnostic.com. David Hayward was baptized Anglican as a baby, came to faith in a Baptist church when he was a teenager, changed to Pentecostal in his late teens, married another Pentecostal named Lisa, was ordained Presbyterian, pastored a Vineyard church, and planted others. He has a Masters in Theological Studies from Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary, as well as a Masters in Religious Studies and Ministry from McGill University in Montreal. But in 2010 David left the professional paid clergy. He is still passionate about how people can find and follow their own spiritual path with courage and joy, as well as in how people can freely gather and form community in healthy ways. David started a blog called nakedpastor in 2006, and initiated his public analysis of religion, religious community and spirituality through his writings, art and cartoons. Thousands of people are challenged and entertained by nakedpastor every day. His art, cartoons, writings and book have found their way all around the world. David lives with his wife Lisa on the beautiful Kennebecasis River near Saint John, New Brunswick, Canada. They have 3 grown children close by. I just want to relax. on wishing anything were different. I am most healthy when I release and accept...that which I have no control over. We don't really realize how destructive expectations are, do we? Imagine someone your sideways with comes to you, humbles themselves and tries to repair the breach and because you were expecting it, the beauty and miracle of it is lost on you. It may not have measured up to your expectation and thus lost on you. The degree in which I wish things in my life, over which I have no control, were different has a direct and immediate effect on my satisfaction with my life. Release and accept. Say yes to what is. Because, unlike my Christian life, where I was compelled to carpe diem, to keep pressing in. One scripture that I memorized and quoted almost everyday in my quiet times was Philipians 3:7-13. And it demonstrates a disdain for satisfaction. Even now, that machosim, that rigor appeals to something in me, but I now consider it to be something life-draining, and that is...never let a guy relax, be content for a goddamn minute. It's saying no to what is and constantly trying to get better, be better, be more pleasing, be more spiritual, and just reciting that again sounds exhausting and reminds me of the debilitating effect that had on my fatigue and frustration. Today I want to be satisfied, I want to relax. I want to say yes to what is. To quote Nietzsche (and I'm paraphrasing), "“I want to learn more and more to see as beautiful that which is out of my control; then I shall be one of those who make things beautiful. Amor fati--the love of fate: let that be my love henceforth! I do not want to wage war against what is ugly. I do not want to accuse; I do not even want to accuse those who accuse. The only thing I will say no to is looking away. I will not look away. I will not bury my head in the sand and deny that shit is happening. I will look at my life with eyes wide open. And all in all and on the whole: some day I wish to be only a Yes-sayer. It's my formula for human greatness: amor fati: that I want nothing to be different, not in the future, not in the past. Not only that I would endure what is necessary, much less to hide it from myself, such idealism is wishful thinking and a lie, in the face of reality— , but instead to love it...to embrace it as mine to learn from, within which to find truth. Amor fati: this is the very core of my being—And as to my hardships, failures and mistakes, do I not owe much more to these than I owe to my successes? To these I owe a higher kind of health, a sort of health which grows stronger under everything that does not actually kill me!—To these, I owe even my philosophy, which is great suffering is the only and ultimate emancipator of spirit, for it teaches one that living fearfully and suspiciously is constantly making mountains out of molehills. Only great suffering; that great suffering, under which we seem to be over a fire of greenwood, the suffering that takes its time—forces us philosophers to descend into our nethermost depths, and to let go of all that which we formerly staked our humanity which was a trust that everything happened for a reason, that life was good and fair. No, acknowledging that chaos runs the universe, not order; that absurdity is the norm, not meaning or purpose. Suffering. Beauty in it all. Not hating it; loving it. By saying saying yes to it. Release and accept." In this talk with David Hayward, we discover that he and I were both muscians in the Lort's service. Writing Christian songs. Well, just to show how truly shameless I am, I'm going to play a song I wrote and recorded in 1983 as a 17 year old, and it's the opposite of the philosophy I just prescribed from Nietzsche, and directly taken from Paul. It's about never being satisfied. Contrast that with today when all I want in these last two or three decades of my life is satisfaction. Relax, release and accept. We taped this conversation on August 19th, 2018. The intro music is by Dave Weckl called "Just Groove Me"The segue music on this episode is "If You Could Read My Mind" by Gordon Lightfoot. Thanks for listening, and be a yes-sayer to what is.
Cass Midgley interviews Tanya Harrison. Tanya is 44 years old, totally blind since birth. She explored a variety of Christian denominations for most of her life in an earnest quest to find God. Today she's convinced that God's not anywhere! And now has more time to dedicate to her passions, which include her dog, Molly, her friends, music, reading, Star Trek and psychology. She writes, "It is a wonderful feeling to have a mind I can trust, not having to feel guilty about leaning on my own understanding." As you'll hear, she is quirky and eccentric. Tanya suspects she gets that from her mother and as Tanya is shunned by her mother and her sisters, she misses her mother dearly. Her life motto is "live life to love and laugh." We interview people you don’t know, about a subject no one wants to talk about. We hope to encourage people in the process of deconstructing their faith and help curb the loneliness that accompanies it. We think the world is a better place when more people live by sight, not by faith. Please subscribe to our podcast, and leave a review wherever you listen to podcasts. Also, we offer these podcasts freely. And your support truly makes a difference. You can support us monetarily in two easy ways: you can pledge a monthly donation through Patreon. that’s www.patreon.com/eapodcast, or leave a lump-sum donation through PayPal at our website, www.everyonesagnostic.com. We taped this conversation on July 29th, 2018. The intro music is by Dave Weckl called "Just Groove Me" The segue music on this episode is a song that Tanya chose that she says picks her up when things are getting her down, "Since I Met You" by the Avalanches Thanks for listening, and be a yes-sayer to what is.
Welcome everyone to episode 217 of the Everyone’s Agnostic podcast. I’m Cass Midgley. Today I don't have a guest. My wife and I are headed up to Madison as this is being released to visit our dear friends, Bob and Edie Pondillo. Bob was the co-host of this podcast for the first four years, over 200 episodes. I miss him greatly as I'm sure you do too, if you were listening through those years. But back in September of 2014 we recorded episode 14 with Bob reading an essay he wrote called "Good Without God." It remains one of our most downloaded episodes ever, with over 4,000 downloads. So I'm going to rerun that reading by Bob as a tribute to him while I'm up thinking, stinking and drinking with him on his porch. One of my favorite things to do in the world. We interview people you don’t know, about a subject no one wants to talk about. We hope to encourage people in the process of deconstructing their faith and help curb the loneliness that accompanies it. We think the world is a better place when more people live by sight, not by faith. Please subscribe to our podcast, and leave a review wherever you listen to podcasts. Also, we offer these podcasts freely. And your support truly makes a difference. You can support us monetarily in two easy ways: you can pledge a monthly donation through Patreon. that’s www.patreon.com/eapodcast, or leave a lump-sum donation through PayPal at our website, www.everyonesagnostic.com. We taped Bob's reading of "Good Without God" in August of 2014 The intro music is by Dave Weckl called "Just Groove Me" Thanks for listening, and be a yes-sayer to what is.
Welcome everyone to episode 216 of the Everyone’s Agnostic podcast. I’m Cass Midgley. My guest today is Rachel and that's all she's going to go by today. She's hear to talk about GRIEF, especially secular tools for coping with grief. This is a great convo. You're not going to believe how sharp Rachel is. Prepare to be a better person 2 hours from now (if you listen in one sitting; which no one does, so...) Prepare to be a better person and more equipped to deal with grief whenever you get through this episode. We interview people you don’t know, about a subject no one wants to talk about. We hope to encourage people in the process of deconstructing their faith and help curb the loneliness that accompanies it. We think the world is a better place when more people live by sight, not by faith. Please subscribe to our podcast, and leave a review wherever you listen to podcasts. Also, we offer these podcasts freely. And your support truly makes a difference. You can support us monetarily in two easy ways: you can pledge a monthly donation through Patreon. that’s www.patreon.com/eapodcast, or leave a lump-sum donation through PayPal at our website, www.everyonesagnostic.com. Between 2002-2011, Rachel moved ten times for her husband's graduate education and career in ministry. The more she studied the scriptures and served in the church, the more her faith eroded. This was true for her husband, as well. For him, addiction ensued and secrecy abounded. In 2010, Rachel left her religious tradition to explore new worldviews, including humanism and applied positive psychology. While she flourished in her newfound freedom, her husband languished... consumed by regret, self-doubt, and anxiety around the potential fallout of leaving the fold. Two years later, Rachel's optimism was put to the ultimate test when her husband died in a car accident, leaving her widowed overnight with three boys to raise. Although surrounded by loving and well-intentioned family and friends, her support system offered definitively Christian comfort and consolation. This minimized her loss and compromised her ability to process her grief honestly and openly. Ever since she's been exploring new pathways to navigate both life and death in the pursuit of wholehearted healing and reality-based hope. Her desire is to build secular communities of support for people whose lives have been disrupted by tragedy, transition, and loss... including (and especially) the loss of faith. Rachel is a resilience trainer and grief support specialist. Even though she talks about death and loss a lot, she's into all things mind-expanding, life-enriching, and joy-inducing. She is currently developing "resilience without religion" retreats through www.FlourishingBeyondBelief.com. We taped this conversation on July 29th, 2018. The intro music is by Dave Weckl called "Just Groove Me"Thanks for listening, and be a yes-sayer to what is. find your 25 strengths at https://www.viacharacter.org/ Maria Paplova's Blog - Brain Pickings
Welcome everyone to episode 215 of the Everyone’s Agnostic podcast. I’m Cass Midgley. Today, my guest is James Exline. We interview people you don’t know, about a subject no one wants to talk about. We hope to encourage people in the process of deconstructing their faith and help curb the loneliness that accompanies it. We think the world is a better place when more people live by sight, not by faith. Please subscribe to our podcast, and leave a review wherever you listen to podcasts. Also, we offer these podcasts freely. And your support truly makes a difference. You can support us monetarily in two easy ways: you can pledge a monthly donation through Patreon. that’s www.patreon.com/eapodcast, or leave a lump-sum donation through PayPal at our website, www.everyonesagnostic.com. James is a coffee zealot and self-proclaimed coffee snob who is a former jesus follower who became a pastor who was not only derailed by his own cognitive dissonance and loss of faith but his abusive childhood and his mother's solution of feeding him into obesity by age 3, James retained, at no easy feat, to keep his integrity, agency and self-respect to go on to serve at a drug and alcohol treatment center. Today he's an atheist and humanist. Overcoming decades of self-hatred and endless bullying, he is in recovery himself from alcohol, opioid and food addictions, he is passionate about helping fellow addicts and alcoholics obtain better lives through sobriety—this time sans god. James has written memoirs chronicling his journey from faith to atheism; those memoirs and more can be read on his blog https://jamesexlineatheist.blogspot.com/ He is also a contributing author at https://www.fullydeconverted.com/ and currently works as a barista at Starbucks while he works on certifications to return to work in the addiction treatment industry. We taped this conversation on July 21st, 2018. The intro music is by Dave Weckl called "Just Groove Me" Thanks for listening, and be a yes-sayer to what is. https://worldbeyondwar.org/good-people-doing-bad-things/ https://www.theguardian.com/education/2012/nov/12/improbable-research-seeing-upside-down Cog Dis : the state of having inconsistent thoughts, beliefs, or attitudes, especially as relating to behavioral decisions and attitude change. you either give in to it and let it keep your world upside down, or you listen to it and reject the nonsense. Upside down. I'm not trying to boast here, but all my life I've been a softie. As a young boy I once shot a Robin out of a tree with a BB gun. I went to his broken body on the ground, picked him/her up, petted her, wept and buried her. I've only ever wanted people to just get along. I hate estrangement of any kind, let alone war and hatred. I hate separation of any kind, especially the kind that gives a person licence to benefit at another's expense. It was the Love I was presented in Jesus in God that I bought into. It was the peace-maker Jesus. We know now that if you have a good heart, that the good-hearted Christianity will appeal to you and make you an even better person, because a good person is always looking, whether they know it or not, for those things that will augment the good in their own hearts and in the world. If you're a person with deep-seeded pain that you've not dealt with, talked through, worked through, then bitterness, resentment, fear, self-pity, victimhood and self-dislike or distrust is going to draw you to the mean-spirited Christianity. We humans don't see things as they are, we see things as we are. If toxicity is running through our hearts and minds, then our insecurity will drive us to find things that confirm the skewed lens through which we interpret the world, not confront it. But Nobel Prize winning physicist Steven Weinberg said, "With or without religion, good people can behave well and bad people can do evil; but for good people to do evil — that takes religion." Weinberg points to a phenomenon that truly turns things upside down. An otherwise good-hearted person can find themselves thinking, saying, and doing things so inconsistent with their original goodness by giving their freedom and agency to dogmas that flip their morals upside down. Devotion to the wrong things produces devotion to wrong things and it breeds in on itself. We become what we admire. And like all successful scams, they pull your naive, gullible good self in with goodness and then slowly turn things upside down the moment they recognize that you've lost your bearings. And before you know it, you become what you used to hate. Stockholm syndrome. One thing I say when people ask why I left Christianity, its because I somehow mustered enough conscience and agency to spot it. To spot what I was becoming. For me, it was 9-11. For some more recently, it's been the evangelical support of Trump. It's noticing cog dis when you see it. Christians that hate Sharia Law wanting our schools, cop cars, and money to say, "In Allah we trust," and to impose Biblical law on non-bible adhering fellow citizens. It's Christian racists. Christian anti-education. Christian misogyny. Until some of us began to wonder, "are these betrayals of Christianity or loyalties to Christianity? Some years ago, the psychologist Albert Bandura listed eight mental tricks people play to disengage their consciences so they can perform the acts of violence they would normally abhor. I present them now with some commentary from Kent Shifferd, a Ph.D. History Professor with over 30 years experience studying Peace: Moral Justification: one is persuaded, for example, that killing the enemy serves a higher moral purpose such as protecting one’s country or serving God’s plan, etc. Euphemistic Labeling: people mask the true nature of behavior they know is unethical, such as labeling “enhanced interrogation” for torture, “servicing the target” for shooting the enemy, and “disinformation” for lying. Advantageous Comparison: as in “What I am doing is not as bad as what they are doing.” Displacement of Responsibility: Uncritically following orders, as in the Nazi concentration camp workers or SS execution squads. Diffusion of Responsibility: when a whole group decides on the unethical action or when the action is divided into many subparts, for example, the building of nuclear weapons. (“All I do is assemble this little electronic part.” Or, “I’m just driving a truck bring supplies—I don’t shoot anybody.”) Disregard or Distortion of Consequences: for example, when harm is inflicted at a distance (as in officers in Montana who guide drones that make “bug splats” in Afghanistan) or dropping bombs from a plane on “targets” even though women and children and old men are being killed below. Dehumanization: labeling the victims of one’s violence as non- or subhuman, as in calling Vietnamese people “slants” and “gooks” during that war, or Germans “Huns” in WWI, or Arabs “towel heads” and “sand niggers” in the First Gulf War. Attribution of Blame: or blaming the victim who is seen as deserving the mistreatment or seen as having brought it on themselves. For example, “These German civilians we are killing below should not have voted for Hitler; therefore they are to blame for our bombings. One of the great dangers of letting one's morality get turned upside down, is our brains can trick us into thinking everything's fine, everything is right side up. Not only ideologically, but literally. In the middle of the 20th century, an Austrian professor turned a man's eyesight exactly upside-down, but after a short time, the man adjusted and could function as normal. Professor Theodor Erismann, of the University of Innsbruck, devised the experiment, performing it upon his assistant and student, Ivo Kohler. The professor had Kohler wear a pair of hand-engineered goggles. Inside those goggles, specially arranged mirrors flipped the images that would reach Kohler's eyes, top becoming bottom, and bottom top.At first, Kohler stumbled wildly when trying to grasp an object held out to him, navigate around a chair, or walk down stairs. In a simple fencing game with sticks, Kohler would rise his stick high when attacked low, and low in response to a high stab. Holding a teacup out to be filled, he would turn the cup upside down the instant he saw the water apparently pouring upward. The sight of smoke rising from a match, or a helium balloon bobbing on a string, could trigger an instant change in his sense of which direction was up, and which down.But over the next week, Kohler found himself adapting, in fits and starts, then more consistently, to such sights. After 10 days, he had grown so accustomed to the invariably upside-down world that, paradoxically and happily, everything seemed to him normal, rightside-up. Kohler could do everyday activities in public perfectly well: walk along a crowded sidewalk, even ride a bicycle. Erismann and Kohler did further experiments. So did other scientists. Their impression is that many, perhaps most, maybe just about all, people are able to make these kinds of adjustment. Images reach the eye in some peculiar fashion, and if that peculiar fashion is consistent, a person's visual system eventually, somehow, adjusts to interpret it — to perceive it, to see it — as being normal. Kohler writes that, "after several weeks of wearing goggles that transposed right and left, one person "became so at home in his reversed world that he was able to drive a motorcycle through Innsbruck while wearing the goggles". This automatic, almost-effortless adaptation to visual weirdness is one of many bizarre things that brains do that scientists simply do not understand. Like many of us ex-Christians, my guest today, James Exline, started listening to and giving credence to, his own head-scratching cognitive dissonances. We took off our metaphorical goggles that had flipped everything and we realized we'd been dooped. However, since we'd been wearing the goggles for so long, our brains had to correct the adaptation they'd adopted. By taking the goggles off, we were seeing reality--things as they really are--but now normal seemed upside down. It was probably due to this alarming revelation that some of us quickly put the goggles back on, saying, "I don't care if my world is not real, I'm not ready to have my world turned upside down." For those of us on whom the goggles where placed at an early age, we'd never really seen the world as it is. And it's scary. Probably the very reason that the goggles were invented at all. I want to trust the convictions of the boy in me who regretted killing that Robin. I want to believe myself when I tilted my head at the Noah's ark story, or Jesus saying he came not to bring peace but a sword. I want to be wary of my own propensity to justify violence when I'm coming from a place of fear or victimhood. One thing I love about James' story and so many of these deconversion stories, is that we all know tons of people who will go to their grave believing in the inverted world of Christianity, and some of us feel grateful that if not for the grace of honesty, there go I. There is a resilient human spirit that will not be snuffed out by the Bible. James, like many of us, found that his devotion to Christian doctrine brought out the lower angels of his nature, which ironically only intensified the self-hatred willed to him by his father. His fight out of the dumps to eventually develop an endearing fishing partnership with his aging father is a product of James trusting his own heart--his good heart--that was good all along, despite what the Bible told him so.
Welcome everyone to episode 214 of the Everyone’s Agnostic podcast. I’m Cass Midgley. I'm going to die. A big thanks to each and every one of our Patreon and Paypal supporters. Today, my dear friend Dave Warnock and I talk with Marcia Wickham. We interview people you don’t know, about a subject no one wants to talk about. We hope to encourage people in the process of deconstructing their faith and help curb the loneliness that accompanies it. We think the world is a better place when more people live by sight, not by faith. Please subscribe to our podcast, and leave a review wherever you listen to podcasts. Also, we offer these podcasts freely. And your support truly makes a difference. You can support us monetarily in two easy ways: you can pledge a monthly donation through Patreon. that’s www.patreon.com/eapodcast, or leave a lump-sum donation through PayPal at our website, www.everyonesagnostic.com. Marcia Wickham is an organic farmer from central PA and the mother of eight beautiful kids. Her recovery from childhood incest has led her to a passionate interest in helping other survivors and in building bridges of understanding between the Christian faith and those who have left. She engages in dialogue with pastors to address the ways theology can collide with psychology when it comes to the often messy process of recovery. She’s studied psychology, sociology and philosophy of religion through Harrisburg Community College and has collaborated with Refinery29 in New York on a feature length documentary about recovery from incest that is in its final edit. She’s also done podcasts with Life After God and Women Beyond Belief. Like all of these episodes, we interview regular people, fighting their own battles, reaching for oxygen, discovering their own selves, wrestling to steal back their own lives, their own agency, formerly hijacked by people and gods and people-made-gods, just to craft some kind of life worth living and find the laughter and joy that is theirs to procure. Buckle your seatbelts. Push your earbuds in tight. You're gonna wanna take this in, drink this in, deep into your soul because we all have a lot to learn from Marcia. This is what power looks like. This is what overcoming odds and violation and people who step WAY beyond the bounds of other precious human's rights. Fuck the takers. Applaud the givers but most of all, WORSHIP the BE-ers. They just want to be. They've detached from the myth of NEED NEED NEED. Not Marcia, she KNEED her malefactor in the metaphorical balls posthumously and reinvented herself anew. This kind of power is what excites me, gives me hope. It's strangely non-violent yet kicks ass and takes names in a way that foments love and tenderness and respect and hope. So with further Beauty, I bring you, Marcia Wickham. We taped this conversation on July 22nd, 2018. The intro music is by Dave Weckl called "Just Groove Me" The segue music on this episode is "Ghost Train" by Counting Crows Thanks for listening, and be a yes-sayer to what is.
Welcome everyone to episode 213 of the Everyone’s Agnostic podcast. I’m Cass Midgley.Today, I'm going to feature a short piece by Mark Manson, author of "The Sacred Art of Not Giving a Fuck." We interview people you don’t know, about a subject no one wants to talk about. We hope to encourage people in the process of deconstructing their faith and help curb the loneliness that accompanies it. We think the world is a better place when more people live by sight, not by faith. Please subscribe to our podcast, and leave a review wherever you listen to podcasts. Also, we offer these podcasts freely. And your support truly makes a difference. You can support us monetarily in two easy ways: you can pledge a monthly donation through Patreon. that’s www.patreon.com/eapodcast, or leave a lump-sum donation through PayPal at our website, www.everyonesagnostic.com. The intro and segue music is by Dave Weckl called "Just Groove Me" Thanks for listening, and be a yes-sayer to what is. I don't have a guest today. In fact, this is really just a filler episode that I figure is better than posting nothing. I've had a crazy week, I've got several shows in the can, in fact next week's show is a doozy and I just didn't have the time to do it justice, so I invite you to go listen to episode 35 of Ryan Bell's podcast Life After God with his guest Marcia Wickham to get some background on her story. She's my guest next week. My fellow ex-pastor Dave Warnock sits in as co-host as well. Marcia is a Phoenix that rose out of the ashes of incestuous sexual abuse that was exacerbated by Christianity. She is one impressive woman. Today I'm going to play a couple of pieces by Mark Manson. I really like Manson and they way he thinks. I relate to it. Sometimes I listen to things that stretch me, and sometimes I listen to things that affirm my crazy thoughts and it helps me not think I'm crazy. Self-acceptance is a big deal. The world would be such a better place if more people accepted themselves. I used to say love themselves or like themselves but I prefer accept one's self because acceptance includes even those things that one doesn't like or love about one's self. Bob and I used to talk a lot on this podcast about seeing ourselves as connected. The bell tolls for thee type stuff. When I see you I see me. When I'm mean to you I'm mean to me. etc. Self-acceptance is the precursor to any of that even beginning to happen. Why? Because saying yes to what it means to be me is achieved by looking at myself eyes wide open, not hiding or denying or wishing anything were different. With that level of acceptance, I clap my hands, slap my face, jump up and down and enter the world. I bring it. I bring me. Unashamed. Unapologetic. I don't answer to anyone. The only person I have to be loyal to is me. The only person I need to impress is me, and I don't want to be impressed, so I'm off the hook from having to perform or wow. I don't need anything from anyone in the room. I'm not feeding off of them, or looking for affirmation or validation. I'm enough and I know it because I accepted my reality and said yes to what is. On the other hand, if you doubt yourself, or reject yourself or deny who you are, you say no to it, then you don't REALLY ever bring yourself into the room. Well, you do, because you have to, but it's really scary for you because you don't really want to be seen because you know how weak you are, how bland, how not funny or not smart or not educated or not clever. Almost everywhere you go you feel out of your league, you're less than and you know if people really knew you and saw you for who you really are they would reject you like you've rejected yourself. So you put on a mask and a cloak and people's desire to connect with you is preempted by your costume because they think they're connecting with you but they're connecting with a fictional character you've created. I've been in relationship with these types for years, and eventually I got the nagging sense that I didn't really know them. If I thought about it or cared enough to think about I'd discover that there's no depth to our friendship, there's something missing. What's missing is THEM. They're not here. They've sent their avatar. So this ideal of humans connecting and seeing their self in each other is hijacked because humans can't fully connect with ghosts, with hidden people, with guarded people, with fakers and posers. As Christians we embraced this line of thinking because we were sinners in the hands of an angry God who could only look upon us if we were (and I kid you not) HIDDEN IN CHRIST! We put on the mask of Christ and not only thereby hid from God, but we hid from each other. That's why church always felt like a play. We were actors. Taking our cues from what we believed God wanted from us--in the way of behavior and vocabulary, values and priorities. We got our identity from outside of ourselves. So we were hollow. Shells. The lights were on but no one was home. And when we lost our faith and found ourselves in a godless world, some of us didn't know who to be. We didn't know who we were. We may have carried over some shame from being human, being sexual, being crass, being normal. We may have been tempted to hide. Old habits die hard. But the real world out there wanting to connect with us needs us defrocked, demasked, delivered from self-rejection and fear. So come on in the water's warm. We're all fucked up. We're all cellular accidents with no owner's manuals. Join the human race. Join this insane, inane experiment of evolutionary biology. Fart if you want, we all do it. Sing if you want. Be angry, but hurt, and most of all be honest. We'll decide how much we like you and how much time we want to spend with you, but don't take it personal, you get to do the same with me. And that's not rejection, that's actually us ACCEPTING each other for who we are. That doesn't mean we'll be best friends, but at least we'll be making these kind of decisions based on the truth of who we are, not some facade.
Welcome everyone to episode 212 of the Everyone’s Agnostic podcast. I’m Cass Midgley. I'm going to die. A big thanks to each and every one of our Patreon and Paypal supporters. Today my guest is Pat LaFord Green. We interview people you don’t know, about a subject no one wants to talk about. We hope to encourage people in the process of deconstructing their faith and help curb the loneliness that accompanies it. We think the world is a better place when more people live by sight, not by faith. Please subscribe to our podcast, and leave a review wherever you listen to podcasts. Also, we offer these podcasts freely. And your support truly makes a difference. You can support us monetarily in two easy ways: you can pledge a monthly donation through Patreon. that’s www.patreon.com/eapodcast, or leave a lump-sum donation through PayPal at our website, www.everyonesagnostic.com. We taped this conversation on July 21st, 2018. The intro and segue music is by Dave Weckl called "Just Groove Me." Thanks for listening, and be a yes-sayer to what is. Pat decided before coming on this podcast, because he's been featured on a few, that he was gonna be real. He was gonna relax and not pre-imagine what it was going to be, or plan out what or how he was going to present. He was going to be Pat. Not "just" Pat, or "just" Cass, because that intones "only or merely." And there's nothing mere about Pat or me or you. On the other hand, "merely" means only as specified and nothing more. So in this sense, Pat did show up as merely Pat and nothing more. No showboating or posturing or masquerading. Just Pat. Which sounds like something Mr. Rogers would say, "just you." And we're enough, aren't we? We're all a mixture. We're all confused. We all succeed and fail and we vary on what those words even mean. We avoid placing judgment on the art that is us, don't we? Hopefully we do, because if a painter or sculpture or poet or songwriter or woodcarver sets out to express themselves in ways that they don't even know where it's going to go when they put paint brush to canvas, then the Big Bang certainly didn't know either where this was going, did it? So everything is a big "OOPS" isn't it? How many of us are accidents where our Dads were in such ecstacy in climaxing balls deep inside our mom's that we're really just a big "oops?" When we see the reality of this chaotic mess we find ourselves in we lose entitlement and expectation and privilege, don't we? We're not privileged to be here. A privilege is a benefit enjoyed only by a person beyond the advantages of most, and when it comes to our biology, our cellular makeup, the fact that we're all animals and accidents at best, is the truth. Any narrative that lifts us above another is mythology, and a pernicious one at that. Scared people kick and scratch to elevate themselves above others. It's only true in their imagination. They love the elusion, don't bother them with the facts, their "enjoying" their superiority, their lie, their bedtime story that calms their fears of being stuck in an elevator with 10 other strangers for 24 hours where body odor and urine and feces and rage and panic would manifest, maybe even death. They might have to be in the same room with a corpse, which is basically 150 pounds of mud that was formerly animated by electronic synapses firing impulses and orders to the eyes and mouth and now is gone to who knows...Where was I. Oh yeah, Art. Isn't it lovely? In art, especially in the medium of movies, we have the full gamut of "feel good" movies and horror. I've often wondered why some people find horror movies entertaining, because I personally find them ugly, repulsive, disturbing and vile. But I'm suspicious that my place of privilege far removed from the real horrors of life, raised white straight cis male upper middle class by parents who loved me and never fucked me. If my childhood had been a horror instead of the blissfully ignorant and naive pampered version of a super-loved, mono-ethnic, Christian rural upbringing, I might find some entertainment, even comfort, from horror films. It seems that the privileged don't want to be reminded of the horrors of reality, whereas those whose reality and childhood were already a horror, perhaps they find comfort and entertainment in the mockery and public display of the horrific. There's some fascinating scholarship out there studying the existential connections between the art-horror genre and humanities' attraction and avoidance of anxiety and repulsion. I learned a word when researching this subject: intersticial. It has to do with a small or narrow space or interval between things or parts. In the Hegelian dialectic, its the synthesis, but in the case of horror, it's disrupting and/or disturbing. On the question of what makes a monster horrifying, Noël Carroll, in his seminal work "The Philosophy of Horror," argues that monsters are ‘interstitial’ or ‘impure’. They are not entirely alien to us, but rather fall between familiar categories: for example, vampires, zombies, and Frankenstein’s monster are somewhere between living and dead, werewolves and the the Fly are both human and beast. The Exorcist and The Omen, even Christ demonstrate something part human and part supernatural entity. These hybrids throw a wrench in modern western binary thinking. And some of us are ready for complexity, nuance and even outlandish, because perhaps we're bored with chocolate and vanilla. Maybe we're not afraid to be wrong or that life is beyond our understanding. We don't have to have it all figured out in order to have fun. In fact, quite the opposite. Well my guest today, Pat Green vomited the fruit from the knowledge of good and evil and decided that he didn't need such shallow knowledge, nor did he need to know or place judgment on things as either good or evil. He chose neither. Pat is a former minister of 16 years who left ministry and entered the secular life around the time his son came out transgender.After attending Christian Life College with an undergrad in Pastoral Studies he was a youth pastor in a smattering of Assemblies of God and non denominational churches. By the time he started pastoring his own church, LifeBridge Church in Lockport Il (near Chicago), he had jumped ship and went into liberal land. Between 2012 and 2013 his life entered an upheaval and he found himself divorced, driving a taxi, and loving his LGBTQIA+ son for all he was worth. Together, they rode the storm and Pat was left with no faith in a god, but a lot of love. Today, as a photographer, writer, and a storyteller, he is trying to navigate his way through this new existence in a free market capitalist world he does not fully grasp. His professional writing has been seen in various publications both online and in print for over the last 12 years. He was a regular contributor to 22nd Century Media, Aquarius News, and also in the Secular Spectrum on Patheos with his blog Tranparent Expedition.Pat also wrote a book in 2015 titled, “Night Moves: An Ex Preachers Journey to Hell in a Taxi“, which is available online on Amazon. His professional photography has been featured in various newspapers, websites, and other formats since 1985. Most recently, Pat is a proud member of The Artist Guild Of Lockport and the international group RAW Artists where he volunteers as an ambassador helping new artists showcase their work in shows. With Pat’s passion for his son, his new life is told as honestly and as openly as he can be. He misses Disney World, financial solvency and having a back yard to mow.
Welcome everyone to episode 211 of the Everyone’s Agnostic podcast. I’m Cass Midgley. I'm going to die. A big thanks to each and every one of our Patreon and Paypal supporters. Today my guest is Peter Montoya. This is the 3rd time I've had Peter on the show. You can get his full story back on episode 130. He was also featured briefly in episode 163, on Dr. Marlene Winell's second appearance. Peter is all about living a fulfilled life and he sees community as an integral part of achieving that goal. For us ex-Christians, church used to be the main place we connected with a community. Some of us had bad experiences but it's likely that even those were the exception and not the rule. I know I used to look forward to seeing everyone and feeling that energy of people gathering every Sunday morning. But what now? How do we find community after faith is gone? Peter has some tips on how to do just that. We interview people you don’t know, about a subject no one wants to talk about. We hope to encourage people in the process of deconstructing their faith and help curb the loneliness that accompanies it. We think the world is a better place when more people live by sight, not by faith. Please subscribe to our podcast, and leave a review wherever you listen to podcasts. Also, we offer these podcasts freely. And your support truly makes a difference. You can support us monetarily in two easy ways: you can pledge a monthly donation through Patreon. that’s www.patreon.com/eapodcast, or leave a lump-sum donation through PayPal at our website, www.everyonesagnostic.com. We taped this conversation on June 25th, 2018. The intro music is by Dave Weckl called "Just Groove Me" Featuring "People" by Barbara Streisand. The outro song: You've Got A Friend In Me (From "Toy Story"/ Soundtrack) by Lyle Lovett & Randy Newman. Thanks for listening, and be a yes-sayer to what is. Perhaps it's not about finding community but creating one. If we wait to be found or to find our people, we could possibly die waiting. Some of us have the means to CREATE a community. As you'll hear in this conversation with Peter Montoya, there are steps one can take to create a recurring meetup with friends. One way that you can calm yourself around this audacious and ominus undertaking is that even if you just meet once a month, at the end of a year you can look back and see 12 meetings that changed lives. It doesn't have to be a big deal or life changing each meeting. It's the 30,000 foot view that says, "we make the path by walking it." One foot in front of the other and before you know it, deep relationships are formed, and enriching exchanges are had. For those who find themselves in remote locations, there is the internet. Charles, a long-time friend and supporter of the show, started a virtual community that meets every other week on a platform called Zoom that functions like Skype where you can see and hear the other participants. We have listeners all over the English speaking world and many don't have community in their geographical proximity, so Facebook and groups like Charles' EA Virtual Small Group can help serve such people with a means to connect to others. It's SO important. . Dr. Mark Hyman said, "The power of community to create health is far greater than any physician, clinic or hospital." If you're interested in being a part of the communities that have formed around this podcast, you can message me on Facebook or email me at midgley.cass@gmail.com and I'll help you get connected to virtual communities and support groups specifically designed to encourage people who no longer believe in the supernatural, are opening their eyes and ears and saying yes to reality and they're feeling the void of lost community. Relationships are a two way street. They will be dynamic in direct relation to how honest both parties are. If you've done the deep, hard work of accepting yourself, you bring that unhidden person to the gathering. If you encounter someone who has also done the deep, hard work of accepting their self, you will be able to assess the real potential of that relationship. A natural byproduct of accepting one's self--flaws and all--is a greater capacity to accept others--flaws and all. The joy and depth of a community is directly correlated to how honest the participants have been able to get. A Christian author, Catholic actually, who I respected when I was a Christian and still do, is Henri Nouwen. He said this, "Solitude is very different from just a 'time-out' from our busy lives. Solitude is the very ground from which community grows. Whenever we pray alone, study, read, write, or simply spend quiet time away from the places where we interact with each other directly, we are potentially opened for a deeper intimacy with each other." We're learning that this tension that we all feel between introvert and extrovert is not black and white. We're all both. We get energy from time alone and from time with others. As the steward of your own happiness and health, only you know what you need and your needs are unique to you. We're learning that the "one size fits all" mentality of conformity religions is not honest nor real. Thus, we are free to navigate our relationships and free to let others navigate theirs. Some of us are uncomfortable with the thought of Sunday Assembly or Oasis or any kind of forced intimacy, other's love being in these gatherings, engaging with others, meeting new people. However, most of us are both--sometimes we do, sometimes we don't. And that's my point. As in most things I say, I almost always end up saying "you do you." The acceptance of what is, the acceptance ourselves, each other, the form the moment is taking, empower us to navigate this tumultuous, unpredictable world that we could be yanked from at any moment, give us the smile we need to calm down, to pick our battles and our fucks better, to get excited about the right things, to give ourselves permission to take in this magical moment, with these beautiful disgusting people, eating this food that we'll only shit out later, drinking these drinks that we may regret in the morning, acknowledging the unavoidable awkwardness that occurs when any two people try to walk up to each other and make something happen. This is the dance. This is our lives. May we find each other, accept each other and benefit somehow from the shared experience that is the human condition. http://thriveunion.org/
Cass Midgley's guest is Kai (anonymous). Kai left home when she was 19 moving to Australia to study art. She counts this as a pivotal time in her life that created the space to begin examining her upbringing in the Seventh-Day Adventist church. We interview people you don’t know, about a subject no one wants to talk about. We hope to encourage people in the process of deconstructing their faith and help curb the loneliness that accompanies it. We think the world is a better place when more people live by sight, not by faith. Please subscribe to our podcast, and leave a review wherever you listen to podcasts. Also, we offer these podcasts freely. And your support truly makes a difference. You can support us monetarily in two easy ways: you can pledge a monthly donation through Patreon. that’s www.patreon.com/eapodcast, or leave a lump-sum donation through PayPal at our website, www.everyonesagnostic.com. We taped this conversation on June 30th, 2018. The intro music is by Dave Weckl called "Just Groove Me"The segue music is "I'm Coming Up" the 1980 hit by Dianna Ross Thanks for listening, and be a yes-sayer to what is. Having grown up in an almost cult-like Adventist community, Kai struggled for many years with the knowledge that she was gay and what this meant for her salvation according to the church doctrine. Ultimately, this caused her to leave the Seventh-Day Adventist church, and by leave I mean she kinda went out with a bang, didn't just slink away, which is fine too, but that's not Kai. Kai, despite her small frame, is a force to be reckoned with. Rugged and tenacious. Today Kai is an ER and ICU nurse, published author and photographer, as well as an officer in the United States Navy, having served in Afghanistan and aboard a ship in the South Pacific. She insist that above all else, she is an artist. I really enjoyed this conversation. One theme came up that I've said for years and that is that atheism is the best practice of theism. I think at one point Kai identifies as a Idon'tcareist or apatheist. People think that by buying into a religion they're hedging their bets, but I think the best way to be ready for there to be a possible God in an afterlife is to make him proud by weaning one's self of him. Maybe 2 ounces of my 190 pound frame believes gods exist, but I just can't because it smacks SO loud of human concoction (and there's no evidence). Think about 2 really deep human conditions: the fear of loneliness and abandonment. From the time we're babies, we think that when mama leaves the room, we don't exist. As toddlers, we scream when they leave us with a babysitter or at school. As children we are taking in everything and how the people in our lives and, especially our parents behave and we simply mimic it. Our identity is informed and shaped by what we see and hear. It comes from the outside. As we lose our naive innocence and realize the world is a scary place, we take comfort in the fact that there's a roof over our head and mom and dad are in the next room, AND they've got a plan. They make our lives work. I don't have to worry about a thing. Yet. The older I get the more I start to develop my own agency--my own ability to develop my OWN identity that is not merely a reflection of my parents and siblings. I form my own values, tastes, and priorities. Some don't develop agency. The more devout a Christian one is, the less one will learn to listen to and trust their own heart and body. If the parents or friends or boyfriends are controlling, this to might stunt their personal maturation. Then when they move out of their childhood home, they're comforted by having God, their portable parent who will never leave or abandon them as they embark into the real world. And in some ways, the don't get to grow up. I'm one of them. I like to think that my inner self, gagged and bound in the dungeon of my soul escaped, came bursting out of the basement and went on his own heroes journey, which he is still on, of course. To our surprise some of us found the scary, chaotic, parentless world was scary at all. We were more scared in the bosom our parents than we are in this godless snake-infested jungle. Irony! Kai mentions the movie, the Village, in which a small cult-like community lives cut off from the outside world by the woods, in which they believe dangerous creatures exist. They have an uneasy truce with the creatures - if they stay out of the woods, they are left unharmed. So they are fenced in by a scary forest. Fences are a theme in this talk. There was a fence around her compound in Afghanistan, a fence that kept her from coming out gay for so many years, and the electric fence of the church. Just about the time she thought she was gaining freedom and agency, Saturday would roll around and a one hour sermon would crush her spirit, and throw her back down the very pit of confusion and despair from which she'd spent the week climbing out. This crazy-making cycle eventually forced her hand to take some really brave steps to climb the goddamn fence and begin her journey toward wholeness.
Welcome everyone to episode 209 of the Everyone’s Agnostic podcast. I’m Cass Midgley. I'm going to die. A big thanks to each and every one of our Patreon and Paypal supporters. Today my guest is Devin Andre Woodard. Devin is a young professional living and working in Austin, TX. Devin is a passionate man, who, after being burnt out of spending years pouring his entire being into Christian fundamentalism, is attempting to discover the freedom that comes with embracing life as it is, and making the most of the time we're given. We taped this conversation on June 9th, 2018. The intro music is by Dave Weckl called "Just Groove Me" The segue music is "Ghost II" by Corey Kilgannon, a favorite of my guest.We interview people you don’t know, about a subject no one wants to talk about. We hope to encourage people in the process of deconstructing their faith and help curb the loneliness that accompanies it. We think the world is a better place when more people live by sight, not by faith. Please subscribe to our podcast, and leave a review wherever you listen to podcasts. Also, we offer these podcasts freely. And your support truly makes a difference. You can support us monetarily in two easy ways: you can pledge a monthly donation through Patreon. that’s www.patreon.com/eapodcast, or leave a lump-sum donation through PayPal at our website, www.everyonesagnostic.com. Thanks for listening, and be a yes-sayer to what is. You've probably received a pop-up warning on your computer or your phone saying you've been infected by a virus, click here to have it removed. But if you do click it, it will give you a virus. Just this week my son got a call from Apple Tech Support telling him his phone had been hacked and that all the phones in his family plan would soon be hacked accessing all their personal info, passwords and use their friend list to invade all their friends info. He naively fell for it and proceeded to do whatever the person on the phone told him to do, including download an app on daddy's desktop computer. Which almost completed the hack for which they were warning against. It reminded me of Trump's weak, lazy, cowardly, insecure tactic of warning people about fake news, when in fact every time he opens his mouth, its fake news. An accusation is made against someone that is not true of the accused, but IS true of the accuser. There's a quote attributed to Joseph Goebbels that says, "Accuse the other side of that which you are guilty" and although there's no proof that Goebbels ever said it, it is a common tactic throughout history. Sometimes in full knowledge of its genius; sometimes from stupidity and pure survival mode of insecure bullies. But as weak as the accuser is, this tactic is not; it is highly powerful in wreaking destruction and creates a vicious vortex that entraps any victims who fall prey to it. How does one fall prey to it? If the accused get defensive and say "no I'm not" it plays right into the hand of the accuser. As in this 10 year old scene from a SNL Weekend Update episode where Amy Poehler subtly accuses Seth Myers of having a small penis. Immediately after she jabs him with the joke she holds her hand up for a high five and says "up top." Listen to Seth's reaction. So it's a trap to fight against the accusation but it's also a trap to agree with the accuser. When we agree with their accuser, we can fall into a trap of shame and even look to our accuser for a solution, like my son did with the fraudulent Apple Tech support guy. Either way, too much attention is given to the accuser. The best thing is to just hang up. Because both the accuser and the accused can become what they hate. You know the phrase, "it takes one to know one?" This is a phrase of empathy, which can be good. But even empathy has its pitfalls. Many say that compassion is better because, in the metaphor of someone falling in a pit, empathy gets down in the pit and both are now worse off, whereas compassion throws the fallen a rope. Now, in this age of Jordan Peterson mania, that sounds like something he would say (and I believe he does) and so I just threw up in mouth a little bit, but as with all truth, sometimes you find it in places that make it hard to swallow. When we hate our enemies, we are apt to swing wide in the opposite direction and merely mirror the poor emotional health of our enemy. But consider a modification of that adage "it takes one to know one": It takes one to hate one. How much of my own intolerances are a result of my ‘dislike’ of my own weaknesses or past weaknesses in any particular area? Often my impatience manifests when I feel ignored or invisible. In traffic it appears. Often I see everyone as trying to block my progress or ignoring me or being insensitive or even thoughtless. At the same time, they're probably driving slow in the fast lane because they're compensating for years of having no power or voice or have been oppressed by others and this moment of power feels good to them, whether they know why or not. So our life-long developed pathologies are clashing on I-24. And if we hate or resent certain people its often because we either see their actions reflecting back to us what we don't like about ourselves OR the opposite: we're not like them at all and thus don't relate to their weaknesses and thus can feel superior and judge them, thereby hating them, and thereby becoming like them. Judgement of others and self keeps us in this fucking cyclical pit of stupidity and immorality. Take the shanty call center of scam hackers calling my son. They're trying to get rich and they can justify it because they resent other rich people. They may never admit this but the thinking is "They’re crooked, so we’re justified in being crooked too." Victims often become victimizers. And this is all about people acting, behaving, thinking in RE-action to others, only mirroring their adversaries, as opposed to acting, behaving and thinking from one's own core. To stay above the fray of insecure bullies and accusers and jealousy and resentment. To avoid such traps and swirling eddies that pull us into that muck and mire. We can and should assess and evaluate our circumstances and relationships all day long without falling into the trap of judgement. Blame, no matter where it lands, helps the situation. Honestly, keep in mind that every fucking human being on this planet is fighting the same battles-- with their history, their abuse, their shortcomings and insufficiencies, and most will never have the wherewithal or self-awareness to understands what's happening to them in real time, but you can! Listeners of EA podcast have such a huge advantage over the rest of the unevolved world because those people are losers and we're winners and if they only knew as much or had as much knowledge as we do, they too could be as cool and healthy as us. They probably don't even read books or go to therapy. It must really suck to be them...oh wait. I've become what i hate. Ground me William Shakespeare. "Suspicion always haunts the guilty mind." What? Say that again. "Suspicion always haunts the guilty mind." So by seeing myself as guilty, as bad, as evil, I'm more prone to be suspicious of everyone else? "Something like that." And by lifting myself out of guilt, by giving myself a break, by giving myself the grace and forgiveness that I would give my own loved ones, I help alleviate the suspicious lens through which I see others? When I assume that people driving slow in the fast lane, or people that over groom their lawns, or people that scam little old ladies out of their money, or people that are ignorantly afraid of people different than them, when I assume that they are bad people, I'm letting suspicion stifle what might otherwise be curiosity. Hell even apathy would be healthier than suspicion. "I don't care why that person's being a dick" is no less moral than, "I wonder why that person's being a dick?" One is slightly more mature than the other, but requires more energy than I might have at the time. As long as I don't let myself feel too superior to their assholery, because I certainly display my share of it in other contexts. It's kinda "live and let live" with just a tad more care than that, but not much. At the end of the day, it's saying yes to what is. This place, this planet, this human race is MAJORLY fucked up, and we don't help it get well by responding in ways that are either the same type fucked up or the opposite type fucked up, we're still adding to the fucked upness of the planet when we react in kind. Nietzsche wrote, "My formula for greatness in a human being is amor fati--a love of fate: that one wants nothing to be different, not in the future, not in the past. Not just to bear what is reality, much less hide myself from it, for all idealism is just dishonesty in the face of what is, but to love it. I want to learn more and more to see as beautiful what is the reality of things; then I will be one who helps make things beautiful. Amor fati: let that be my love henceforth! I do not want to wage war against what is ugly. I do not want to accuse; I do not even want to accuse those who accuse. Looking away shall be the only thing I say no to. And all in all and on the whole: some day I wish to be only a Yes-sayer." Now Nietzsche was a white, straight European male in the early 20th century, so he may be afforded privileges that allow him to apply and practice that more thoroughly than others, but it is at least a virtue and value to which to aspire. Hatred is the easiest of emotions to invoke. Love requires self-awareness and intention. At minimal, we would do well to select our enemies carefully, for more often than not, we will become like them. Thus, if your enemies are people, those people will often define you. If you are not defined from without, you will be defined from within. My hunch is that we humans kinda need enemies and will create them if that role is vacant. I suspect the enemy is within all of us and thus can have the uniting effect of a common enemy, and yet, an enemy that we will not emulate. My tattoo defines my enemies as Fear, Pity, Resentment, Victimhood, and Insecurity. If we'd all resist these enemies within, without an ounce of shame for having them, we might be able to laugh and drink and eat and cry together with those we formerly identified as enemies. That's a tall order. But I've got a short life. In summary, there are two paths of weakness, small creativity, and short-sightedness: 1) accuses others of the same behavior the accuser is doing, and the second judges others for the same behavior the judge ends up mirroring. Both are afraid, as we all are. The high road is refusing to let fear evoke a reaction we'll later regret. Just close the false virus pop-up, hang up on the scamming caller, journalists ignore our baby-president and keep reporting the news, stop judging yourself and thus others who reflect back to you what you either don't like about yourself or don't like about them, live with a clear conscience so you'll be less suspicious of others, and don't take yourself or the size of your penis too seriously. Corey Kilgannon Ghost II video http://www.thepaepae.com/self-hate-as-a-metric-of-intolerance/23098/ http://www.thepaepae.com/the-paradox-of-animosity/258/ https://www.fhu.com/articles/hate1.html https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/enemy
Cass Midgley features two audio clips from talks that Tara Brach and Noah Lugeons gave on their podcast. I love the Hegelian Dialectic, contrasting two seemingly opposite things and forming a third, entirely different thing out of the clash, not unlike mammalian reproduction. Tara Brach and Noah Lugeons are necessarily opposites, but they contrast starkly. She's an American psychologist, a proponent of Buddhist meditation, and founder of the Insight Meditation Community of Washington, D.C. Noah is the founder and co-host of the Scathing Atheist Podcast. Each week he begins the episode with The Diatribe--a solo rant he writes himself and they are genius, whether you agree with him or not, his writing is amazing as is his intellect. We play his diatribe from episode 179 of the Scathing Atheist where he addresses Attorney General Jeff Sessions getting up and quoting the Bible to justify separating children from their parents. That's 7 minutes. And then a 45 minute talk by Dr. Tara Brach. I pulled this description off her website: "This talk explores how we can undo the identification with thoughts, emotions and feelings that keeps us landlocked and unable to trust and live from our naturally loving and radiant essence." In other words, we are less artificial and more authentic versions of ourselves when we stop trusting what our thoughts, emotions, and other people tell us we are. She's a bit woo-woo, new-agey, and buddhisty. But I love her. And remember, she has a Phd. in Clinical Psychology from the Fielding Institute, so not too shabby, right? Her talk is 45 minutes. The segue music is by Dave Weckl called "Just Groove Me" Thanks for listening, and be a yes-sayer to what is. Scathing Atheist Podcast - Diatribe on Jeff Sessions by Noah Lugeons Tara Brach's podcast
Cass Midgley and Dr. Bob Pondillo bring you a very special episode. This is Bob's last show as co-host. Bob chose the theme of today's episode: death--the most awkward subject and conversation there is. Bob and Cass discuss the Seneca book for about an hour and a half then a 4 minute clip by Caleb Wilde's Tedtalk followed by a 30 minute reading of an article by Eric Puchner, then Bob and I interview Anne-Marie Zanzal, a Hospice worker with end of life experience, and end with a 6 minute playing of your voice mail farewells to Bob. For Bob's last episode, he wanted to talk about death and I think it's appropo. For weeks prior to the taping of this episode he'd been reading a book titled, "How to Die: An Ancient Guide to the End of Life." It's the ponderings of the 1st century philosopher, Seneca, edited, translated, and introduced by James S. Romm. "It takes an entire lifetime to learn how to die," wrote the Roman Stoic philosopher Seneca (c. 4 BC–65 AD). He counseled readers to "study death always," and took his own advice, returning to the subject again and again in all his writings. Seneca believed that life is only a journey toward death and that one must rehearse for death throughout life. In his writings, he tells us how to practice for death, how to die well, and how to understand the role of a good death in a good life. He stresses the universality of death, its importance as life's final rite of passage, and its ability to liberate us from pain, slavery, or political oppression. Ernest Becker, The Denial of Death “The irony of the human condition is that the deepest need is to be free of the anxiety of death and annihilation; but it is life itself which awakens it, and so we must shrink from being fully alive.” Seneca admonishes us to study how to die. 6th generation mortician, Caleb Wilde infers that we are death amateurs, and Ernest Becker says we kick and scratch to subdue the notion that we're ever going to die. Perhaps the greatest application of the adage, "say yes to what is" applies to this--the great leveler, that which we all have in common, and that is our impending, unavoidable death. We taped this conversation on May 26th, 2018. We interview people you don’t know, about a subject no one wants to talk about. We hope to encourage people in the process of deconstructing their faith and help curb the loneliness that accompanies it. We think the world is a better place when more people live by sight, not by faith. Please subscribe to our podcast, and leave a review wherever you listen to podcasts. Also, we offer these podcasts freely. And your support truly makes a difference. You can support us monetarily in two easy ways: you can pledge a monthly donation through Patreon. that’s www.patreon.com/eapodcast, or leave a lump-sum donation through PayPal at our website, www.everyonesagnostic.com. Credits:"Towering Mountain of Ignorance" intro by Hank Green https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w3v3S82TuxU The music behind it is "Never Know" by Jack JohnsonThe segue music is "Moonlight on the River" by Mac DemarcoThanks for listening, and be a yes-sayer to what is. Caleb Wilde's Tedtalk on Death Emily Levine's Tedtalk on Death Eric Puchner's article about Caleb Wilde
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