Conversations from the Heart

We all carry invisible stories about what it means to be a “good person,” a “hard worker,” or someone who has truly earned what they have. But what happens when we meet someone who doesn't fit those stories? Someone living on disability income, or needing more support than we think they should?This week, we explore the quiet judgments and discomfort that can arise when we encounter difference. We look at how domination culture trains us to equate worth with productivity, independence with virtue, and need with failure, and how shame and stigma keep us disconnected from our shared humanity.This conversation invites a gentler, more honest inquiry into what judgment is protecting, and how we can stay connected without defensiveness, superiority, or pity. As we widen the lens, we also question the systems themselves: What if the problem isn't the individual who needs help, but the structures that withhold care?A reflective exploration of judgment, dignity, and interdependence and an invitation to imagine human-centered systems rooted in empathy, cooperation, and the meeting of real human needs.Want to read more? Understanding Stigma: How Judgment Replaces Empathy in Modern CultureFor ongoing practice and deeper learning, I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection. Twice a month, I host live calls where members bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans. Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com. Here are more ways to connect with me: Join the School of Human Connection Hop on my free Wednesday live call Follow me on YouTube

What happens in you when someone comes at you with intensity?Do you freeze, go blank, lose your words, or start doubting yourself?We explore what it means to stay grounded when another person's energy feels too hot to handle by talking with Kate, who finds herself going into freeze mode when someone else's intensity rises and tone sharpens. Together, we explore how to meet our shutdown responses with awareness instead of judgment, seeing them as wisdom, not weakness.Afterwards, Josie brings up a nuanced distinction: What's the difference between asking for what we need and demanding someone change? Where's the line between honest self-expression and control?We'll tease apart how to speak truthfully without blame, how to hold boundaries without closing your heart, and how to stay in integrity even when things get intense.If you've ever longed to stay calm, clear, and connected when someone else is coming in hot, this one's for you.Want to read more?  How to Stay Grounded When Someone's Coming in HotFor ongoing practice and deeper learning, I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection. Twice a month, I host live calls where members bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans. Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com. Here are more ways to connect with me: Join the School of Human Connection Hop on my free Wednesday live call Follow me on YouTube

Ever find yourself trapped in a conversation that feels endless, feeling your energy draining as someone keeps talking and talking? Today we explore how to stay kind, connected, and honest while trying to interrupt.We unpack the hidden fears that keep us quiet (fear of rejection, fear of being rude) and the old “be a good person” conditioning that often silences our truth. You'll learn how to interrupt without guilt, speak from authenticity instead of irritation, and transform draining conversations into moments of genuine connection.Listen to discover:•Why “being nice” can block real honesty•What to say when your attention drifts and you want to re-engage•How to recognize when someone's over-talking because they're trying to process pain•Simple phrases that bring both people back into connectionListen in for a gentle, empowering guide if you've ever felt stuck between caring for others and caring for yourself. For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans. Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com. Here are more ways to connect with me: Join the School of Human Connection Hop on one of our live calls Check out my YouTube page

Fear loves to make up stories, especially about rejection.In this episode, Jodi and Jen bring us into real moments of reaching out, risking love, and meeting old anxieties with new courage. We explore how fear distorts reality, how feedback loops restore truth, and how connection deepens when we stop believing every story our mind tells.If you've ever hesitated to reach out because you were afraid of being unwanted, this episode will help you pause, soften, and see with clearer eyes.Listen to find out … How to tell when fear is lying What to say when you're afraid to reach outWhy nothing has to change for everything to feel different For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans. Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com. Here are more ways to connect with me: Join the School of Human Connection Hop on one of our live calls Check out my YouTube page

If you've ever found yourself wishing your partner would just open up, this conversation will speak directly to your heart.In this intimate episode, Nina brings forward a question many of us quietly wrestle with: What do I do when I crave emotional connection and my partner keeps pulling away?Together, we explore the anxious–avoidant cycle:  that painful push-and-pull dynamic where one nervous system reaches for closeness while the other needs distance to feel safe. I will unpack why these patterns aren't personal failings, but nervous system strategies wired for survival.You'll learn:Why your longing for connection can trigger another's need for spaceHow to stop personalizing disconnection and start regulating your own systemThe difference between managing someone and revealing yourselfHow patriarchy teaches men to suppress emotions, and how reclaiming feelings heals us allThis episode offers insight, compassion, and gentle guidance for anyone learning how to love without losing themselves.For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans. Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com. Here are more ways to connect with me: Join the School of Human Connection Hop on one of our live calls Check out my YouTube page

Why does saying no make your heart race?Why can honesty feel like risk?This episode explores what happens when boundaries stir up the old fear of losing love. Paul learns how a simple process check can bring kindness to endings, while Jereme discovers how early lessons about punishment and approval still shape her adult relationships.If self-advocacy makes you anxious, this conversation will help you find truth and tenderness in the same breath.For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans. Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com. Here are more ways to connect with me: Join the School of Human Connection Hop on one of our live calls Check out my YouTube page

In this week's conversation, Vanessa brings forward the pain of a friendship that feels increasingly one-sided. Together, we explore the difference between situational limits and structural limits in relationships, how to trust the “data” we receive when others shut down, and the grief that comes with realizing we may be doing too much emotional labor.We explore how to discern when to keep engaging, when to step back, and how to communicate desires for mutuality without blame. We also look at why some people can talk the talk of empathy yet still struggle to walk it in relationships. And, how to honor our own boundaries when reciprocity is missing.Listener Takeaways•Learn how to interpret someone's emotional shutdowns as information about capacity rather than a reflection on your delivery.•Recognize the signs of over-functioning in friendships and how to stop carrying all the emotional labor.•Practice asking direct but compassionate questions that clarify whether mutuality is truly present.•Understand the developmental stages of NVC practice and why some people can use the tools for their own needs but not yet offer reciprocity.•Embrace grief as a necessary step when relationships aren't mutual, while keeping your heart open to future possibilities. For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans. Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com. Here are more ways to connect with me: Join the School of Human Connection Hop on one of our live calls Check out my YouTube page

When Nancy learned that her niece had removed a single sentence from a family speech, one that acknowledged Nancy's marriage and presence, it triggered a wave of old pain. What may seem like a small omission unearthed decades of erasure, advocacy, and exhaustion.In this deeply moving conversation, we explore how one personal moment of being edited out becomes a microcosm of much larger cultural shifts. As stories of marginalized people are quietly removed from government websites, training programs, and public institutions, Nancy's family moment reflects a collective trend: what gets remembered, and what gets deleted, is never neutral.Together, we navigate the emotional toll of invisibility, the weight of lifelong advocacy, and the tender discernment it takes to speak up with care. Whether you've been left out of the story, or left someone else out, this episode offers a powerful invitation to return ourselves, and each other, to the circle. Listener Takeaways:•Erasure may not be loud,but it's deeply impactful. Small omissions can reactivate deep emotional wounds, especially for those historically marginalized.•Silence isn't neutral. Bystanders and witnesses have power, too. A lack of acknowledgment can deepen the harm.•Discernment is key. Speaking up doesn't always mean confronting the whole crowd. Often, one honest conversation is what opens the door to healing.•Advocacy fatigue is real. Especially for elders who've carried this work for decades. There's wisdom in knowing how to keep showing up in ways that preserve your energy and dignity.•Returning non-love with love is an act of sovereignty. It's not about people-pleasing: it's about transforming disconnection into care without abandoning yourself.For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans. Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com. Here are more ways to connect with me: Become a member of my online learning community Join our calls live Set up a private session Follow me on TikTok @dr.yvetteerasmus

What do you do when someone corrects you publicly, and their tone stings more than their words?In this episode, Tarjia brings a deeply relatable dilemma: how to respond in the moment when someone interrupts, “clarifies,” or subtly shames you, especially when it's someone in a leadership role. Together, we explore real-time language tools, nervous system regulation strategies, and relational repair practices.This isn't just about one group dynamic or one conversation: it's about how to reclaim your voice when subtle power moves leave you feeling dismissed, small, or confused.Whether you've ever felt stung by someone's tone, shut down by an interruption, or unsure how to set boundaries without creating more conflict, this episode is for you.SHOW NOTESIn this episode, we explore:•What to say in the moment when someone interrupts or corrects you•How to distinguish between your wise adult self and reactive younger parts•Why certain tones of voice can feel shaming, even when the content seems neutral•How to use the It sounds like… is that true? tool to re-center and clarify•What to do when someone flips your feedback back onto you (that's your issue)•How to stay grounded in your dignity even when someone steps into a one-up position•The emotional cost of always trying to care for others at your own expense•What it really means to slow down for your most tender partsBonus: We also walk through a sample script for initiating a repair conversation without blame, without defensiveness, and without abandoning yourself.For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans. Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com. Here are more ways to connect with me: Become a member of my online learning community Join our calls live Set up a private session Follow me on TikTok @dr.yvetteerasmus

What do we do when the person who raised us is now emotionally volatile, resistant to help, and unintentionally casting us as the villain when we try to care for them?In this heartfelt conversation, Diana brings forward the tender, painful challenge of loving her aging mother, who struggles with emotional regulation, trauma, and shame, and the deep inner conflict between wanting to offer support and needing to protect her own nervous system.Together, we unpack:•The emotional cost of parentification and role reversal•How to stop being your parent's regulator, therapist, or emotional manager•What boundaries look like when withdrawal isn't abandonment•The grief and guilt that emerge when we start living our own lives•Why “staying kind” sometimes means stepping awayIf you've ever struggled with guilt around setting boundaries, or felt trapped between compassion and exhaustion in your family, this one's for you.For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans. Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com. Here are more ways to connect with me: Become a member of my online learning community Join our calls live Set up a private session Follow me on TikTok @dr.yvetteerasmus

In this episode, Sarah brings a heartfelt and tender question: How do I talk to a friend who shifts from playful connection to subtle moralizing which often causes me to feel infantilized and shut down?What follows is a rich, layered exploration of how covert control and unconscious superiority can sneak into even our most well-meaning relationships. We unpack the difference between tone-setting and mutual consent, how to reclaim subjectivity without blame, and the deep emotional wound that gets poked when others make decisions for us instead of with us.And yes, it all begins with chocolate.Listener Takeaways:•Why “I just wanted more chocolate” can be code for “I want to matter”•How to recognize internalized domination programming in ourselves and others•How to speak up when someone imposes their worldview or preferences on the group•Practical scripts for initiating a non-defensive, heart-connected conversation about painful dynamics•How to share emotional vulnerability without over-exposing or collapsing•Why self-revealing without moralizing is a powerful act of liberationFor ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans. Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com. Here are more ways to connect with me: Become a member of my online learning community Join our calls live Set up a private session Follow me on TikTok @dr.yvetteerasmus

What do you do when every conversation with a parent leaves you feeling erased, criticized, or shut down, but walking away feels like betrayal?In this raw and tender coaching session, we meet Suzanne, who's struggling to navigate contact with her mother: a woman who routinely gaslights her, shuts down difficult topics, and prioritizes her own emotional comfort over honest connection. Suzanne wants to be seen. She also wants to stay safe. And in her family, those two things feel mutually exclusive.We explore:•The heartbreak of being unseen by a parent you still long to connect with.•The nervous system impact of childhood emotional silencing, and why it still flares in adulthood.•How to say “I don't feel safe talking right now” without guilt.•What to do when someone turns your feelings into personal attacks.•And how to develop scripts that mirror instead of merge, so you can stay true to yourself in hard conversations.If you've ever felt trapped in a role that doesn't fit, or stuck in a pattern that leaves you numb, enraged, or ashamed, this one's for you.If you're looking for a high caliber small group where you can deepen your practice and really live into the principles of compassion, non-violence and relational presence, apply for The Mentorship Circle, which will begin November 2nd. It will be three hours every month of advanced teaching, deep discussion, and practical integration. Learn more here. For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans. Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com. Here are more ways to connect with me: Become a member of my online learning community Join our calls live Set up a private session Follow me on TikTok @dr.yvetteerasmus

In this intimate coaching conversation, Colleen brings a familiar dilemma: her husband drives too fast for her nervous system to handle. She doesn't want to control him, but she does want to feel safe. Together, we unpack how to name her limits without moralizing, how to invite collaboration instead of compliance, and how to speak from care rather than critique.Key Takeaways for Listeners:•Boundaries are not about controlling others.  They're about naming what you are or are not available for.•To foster buy-in, shift from You're wrong to This doesn't work for my nervous system.•Compassionate communication can include honest judgments, especially when they arise from fear and care.•Sharing your vulnerabilities can diffuse tension and build understanding faster than logic or critique.•Collaborative planning (in calm moments) is often more effective than reactive correction (in hot moments).If you're looking for a high caliber small group where you can deepen your practice and really live into the principles of compassion, non-violence and relational presence, apply for The Mentorship Circle, which will begin November 2nd. It will be three hours every month of advanced teaching, deep discussion, and practical integration. Learn more here. For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans. Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com. Here are more ways to connect with me: Become a member of my online learning community Join our calls live Set up a private session Follow me on TikTok @dr.yvetteerasmus

In this heartfelt and courageous coaching conversation, Prerana brings forward a question so many of us have quietly carried: How much need is too much in a relationship? And what do we do when our emotional needs are met with kind words but little follow-through?Together, we unpack the gap between good intentions and sustainable intimacy, the heartbreak of feeling like a “complainer” just for wanting closeness, and the painful confusion of loving someone who's not meeting us where we long to be met.Key questions explored:•How do I communicate needs without overwhelming my partner?•Can someone really change, or are they just trying to appease me?•What do I do when I feel more like a best friend or roommate than a romantic partner?•How do I discern whether to stay or go when there's no malice, just misalignment?If you're looking for a high caliber small group where you can deepen your practice and really live into the principles of compassion, non-violence and relational presence, apply for The Mentorship Circle, which will begin November 2nd. It will be three hours every month of advanced teaching, deep discussion, and practical integration. Learn more here. For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans. Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com. Here are more ways to connect with me: Become a member of my online learning community Join our calls live Set up a private session Follow me on TikTok @dr.yvetteerasmus

In this heartfelt coaching call, Nina wrestles with two layered questions:1.How can I have an honest, meaningful conversation with the boy my daughter is dating, without overwhelming or intimidating him?2.How do I stay emotionally attuned and supportive to my older daughter who might feel left behind when her younger sister gets engaged first?Together, we explore what it means to assess someone's emotional maturity: not by lecturing or preaching, but by creating relational moments that reveal their capacity for humility, self-awareness, and connection. Nina learns to shift from “explaining what matters” to “asking questions that reveal,” including storytelling prompts that elicit vulnerability, repair orientation, and conflict navigation style.Then we transition to her fear about her older daughter's emotional reaction to the younger sibling's engagement. We unpack the cultural and personal sensitivities involved, and I offer a powerful shift: lead with presence, not performance. Ask before reassuring. Witness before reframing. Allow emotional truth to be spoken without trying to fix it.Listener Takeaways•How to assess emotional maturity in someone without coming off as judgmental or overbearing•Conversation starters that reveal someone's approach to conflict, power struggles, and personal growth•The difference between performing connection and living it•How to support adult children through complex sibling dynamics•Why “fixing” someone's feelings can feel like disapproval, and what to do insteadIf you're looking for a high caliber small group where you can deepen your practice and really live into the principles of compassion, non-violence and relational presence, apply for The Mentorship Circle, which will begin November 2nd. It will be three hours every month of advanced teaching, deep discussion, and practical integration. Learn more here. For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans. Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com. Here are more ways to connect with me: Become a member of my online learning community Join our calls live Set up a private session Follow me on TikTok @dr.yvetteerasmus

When someone you live with, or love, keeps judging you, how do you protect your peace without shutting down or blowing up?In this raw and relatable episode, Heather brings a question many of us have quietly carried: How do I set clear boundaries with someone who keeps making subtle (or not-so-subtle) digs at my character?We unpack what it means to hold your ground when you're being criticized, misunderstood, or dismissed, and how to stop absorbing other people's projections as personal truths.Listener Takeaways:•Scripts for responding to judgment without defensiveness or collapse•How to hear criticism as information, not identity•Why trying to teach people how to treat you rarely works•What to do when you're tempted to just leave but want to grow instead•How to stop explaining yourself and start protecting your peaceIf you're looking for a high caliber small group where you can deepen your practice and really live into the principles of compassion, non-violence and relational presence, apply for The Mentorship Circle, which will begin November 2nd. It will be three hours every month of advanced teaching, deep discussion, and practical integration. Learn more here. For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans. Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com. Here are more ways to connect with me: Become a member of my online learning community Join our calls live Set up a private session Follow me on TikTok @dr.yvetteerasmus

When someone you care about is in crisis, how do you say “no” without guilt? In this episode, Julia brings a powerful, relatable question: how do I set a kind but clear boundary with a friend who wants to move into my space indefinitely?What unfolds is a rich conversation about friendship, emotional safety, and the difference between care and over-responsibility. We explore what to say when someone “trauma dumps,” how to set boundaries without turning it into a negotiation, and how to stop absorbing others' emotional projections.We also talk about what happens when you're the one being “cut off,” and how to have hard conversations earlier, before resentment builds up. Listener Takeaways:•Language for setting kind, non-negotiable boundaries.•What to do when someone guilts you for not showing up the way they want.•How to hold your ground when someone weaponizes past generosity.•A loving reframe for this common myth: If I can't meet your need, I must be a bad friend.•Tips for inviting safer, more mutual friendships (from both ends).If you're looking for a high caliber small group where you can deepen your practice and really live into the principles of compassion, non-violence and relational presence, apply for The Mentorship Circle, which will begin November 2nd. It will be three hours every month of advanced teaching, deep discussion, and practical integration. Learn more here. For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans. Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com. Here are more ways to connect with me: Become a member of my online learning community Join our calls live Set up a private session Follow me on TikTok @dr.yvetteerasmus

What do you do when you're bursting with excitement, vulnerability, or a creative new idea, only to be met with silence, critique, or defensiveness from the person you love? In this heartfelt conversation, Liza brings forward the quiet grief of being in a relationship that lacks emotional accompaniment. Together, we explore the lived experience of trying to stay joyful, expressive, and connected when your partner just isn't available in the way your heart longs for.We unpack the deeper patterns at play, from relational trauma to the impact of neurodivergence, and identify both internal and external resources that can bring relief. This episode offers real tools for navigating relational misattunement, protecting your spark, and finding connection even when your current environment doesn't support it.If you've ever wondered how to keep showing up with warmth and wisdom when your needs go unmet, this one is for you.Show Notes:•The subtle heartbreak of emotional disconnection•Why critique from a partner can feel so deflating•How CPTSD and autism can impact relational communication•Tools for externalizing emotion (the power of feelings/needs sheets!)•Why “I need acknowledgement” may not work—and what to say instead•Turning blame into gold: Translating criticism into needs•How financial dependence complicates emotional honesty•Building your own sources of joy, support, and co-regulation•What to do when your partner doesn't “join” you emotionallyIf you're looking for a high caliber small group where you can deepen your practice and really live into the principles of compassion, non-violence and relational presence, apply for The Mentorship Circle, which will begin November 2nd. It will be three hours every month of advanced teaching, deep discussion, and practical integration. Learn more here. For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans. Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com. Here are more ways to connect with me: Become a member of my online learning community Join our calls live Set up a private session Follow me on TikTok @dr.yvetteerasmus

Have you ever been on the receiving end of a question that didn't feel like a genuine invitation but more like a setup? In this week's episode, we explore the subtle difference between open-hearted curiosity and covert control in our conversations.First, we hear from Tarjia, who's navigating interactions that leave her feeling dismissed, startled, or unsure what to say, especially when comments come cloaked in snark or when her mother's questions feel like emotional landmines. Together, we explore how to recognize the moment you're no longer in a shared reality and how to gently reclaim your footing without collapsing into silence or defensiveness.Then, Selina joins with a tender dilemma: how to stay relational with a close friend whose intensity sometimes overwhelms her nervous system. She's not trying to criticize or abandon, but she's also trying not to lie. We unpack the inner tangle of judgment, empathy, and responsibility that arises when one person's vulnerability feels like another's emotional burden.This episode is for anyone who's ever frozen mid-conversation, questioned their own reactions, or struggled to say the true thing kindly. Listen to the end for concrete language to use when you feel trapped by tone, startled by a request, or unsure how to hold your own internal reactions with grace.Show Notes:•The hidden agenda behind “loaded questions” and how to name it gently.•Why your mind goes blank when someone says something “smart-ass” in a certain tone and how to recover mid-moment.•How to spot the difference between performance and presence in a conversation.•One phrase you can use when someone projects their feelings onto you and expects agreement.•How to stay kind and honest when you're afraid the truth might hurt someone you care about.If you're looking for a high caliber small group where you can deepen your practice and really live into the principles of compassion, non-violence and relational presence, apply for The Mentorship Circle, which will begin November 2nd. It will be three hours every month of advanced teaching, deep discussion, and practical integration. Learn more here. For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans. Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com. Here are more ways to connect with me: Become a member of my online learning community Join our calls live Set up a private session Follow me on TikTok @dr.yvetteerasmus

In this touching and insightful conversation, Patrice returns to share an update on her ongoing journey of self-trust, relational clarity, and emotional healing. After creating space from a previous relationship that couldn't meet her needs, she reflects on patterns of seeking connection in unavailable places, and the surprising grief that can arise even in the presence of new joy and ease. Together, we explore the nuanced process of discerning what it really means to meet our own needs in relationship, not in isolation.Listen to hear a powerful metaphor about sitting in the sun to illuminate our active role in seeking strategies and environments that help us flourish, without slipping into self-blame or control. The episode highlights the paradoxical healing that can happen when joy brings our old pain into sharper focus, and reminds us that ease, play, and connection are not luxuries: they are pathways home.Key Takeaways:1.Self-trust is not all-or-nothing: it can be practiced on a continuum and deepened through lived experiences.2.Grief often arises after joy, as we finally feel the contrast between past deprivation and present nourishment.3.We are co-creators in meeting our needs, not passive recipients or isolated islands.4.Ease and play can feel foreign at first, but are vital indicators of healing environments.5.Healthy relationship dynamics aren't about forcing others to change, but about choosing where we bring our longing. If you're looking for a high caliber small group where you can deepen your practice and really live into the principles of compassion, non-violence and relational presence, apply for The Mentorship Circle, which will begin November 2nd. It will be three hours every month of advanced teaching, deep discussion, and practical integration. Learn more here. For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans. Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com. Here are more ways to connect with me: Become a member of my online learning community Join our calls live Set up a private session Follow me on TikTok @dr.yvetteerasmus

What do you do when you've poured your heart into being a better parent, and your adult child still keeps you at arm's length?In today's heartfelt (and heart-heavy) coaching conversation, we sit with Josie: a mother navigating the complex grief of feeling used, dismissed, and emotionally exiled by her daughter. Despite years of inner work and a deep desire to connect, Josie finds herself hurt and unsure: Should she take space? Should she block her daughter's messages? Is silence a form of self-care, or a veiled cry to be rescued?Together, we untangle the knot between boundaries and punishment, help her find clarity around her deeper intentions, and explore how unmet childhood needs can hijack our adult relationships. Whether you're a parent, a child, or both, this episode will speak to the ache of misalignment and the courage it takes to stay rooted in love while protecting your own heart.In this episode:•How to discern the difference between setting a boundary and delivering a covert ultimatum•Why “taking space” sometimes carries unspoken hopes for change, and how to separate them•The ache of being the family scapegoat, even after decades of healing•Navigating the painful realization: Nobody else sees me the way my children do.•A metaphor for overexposure to painful dynamics: The emotional sunburn•Why it's essential to tend to your inner child before asking others to meet your unmet needs•Sample scripts for taking space with clarity, not punishment•The real purpose of pausing contact: and how to do it with integrity If you're looking for a high caliber small group where you can deepen your practice and really live into the principles of compassion, non-violence and relational presence, apply for The Mentorship Circle, which will begin November 2nd. It will be three hours every month of advanced teaching, deep discussion, and practical integration. Learn more here. For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans. Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com. Here are more ways to connect with me: Become a member of my online learning community Join our calls live Set up a private session Follow me on TikTok @dr.yvetteerasmus

When the world of healing turns out to be more political than personal, more performative than compassionate, what do you do?In this episode, we explore a powerful, vulnerable question from Katie, a listener discerning whether to pursue psychology as a profession. What unfolds is part mentorship, part memoir, and a whole lot of honest reflection on the tangled terrain of becoming a healer inside complex systems.I share a bit of my own journey through graduate school, toxic professional cultures, disillusionment with insurance models, and the soul-stretching cost, both financial and emotional, of pursuing clinical licensure as a single mother in my 40s.But this conversation isn't just about psychology. It's about discernment. It's about staying connected to your deeper “yes” when fear, fatigue, and broken systems threaten to drown it out.Whether you're an aspiring therapist, a burnt-out practitioner, or simply someone trying to live with more integrity and heart, this episode is for you.Listener Takeaways:•Why disillusionment in helping professions is not a sign you're broken, it's a call for deeper discernment.•How to honor your “yes” even when fear and power dynamics swirl.•Why finding your people is just as important as finding your profession.•The real cost of licensure, and what to consider before taking on debt.•What it looks like to stay within a system without losing yourself in it. If you're looking for a high caliber small group where you can deepen your practice and really live into the principles of compassion, non-violence and relational presence, apply for The Mentorship Circle, which will begin November 2nd. It will be three hours every month of advanced teaching, deep discussion, and practical integration. Learn more here. For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans. Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com. Here are more ways to connect with me: Become a member of my online learning community Join our calls live Set up a private session Follow me on TikTok @dr.yvetteerasmus

What do you do when you're ready for kids… and your partner isn't?In this deeply honest episode, we explore one of the most tender crossroads in long-term partnership: what happens when your longing to become a parent collides with your partner's hesitation, fear, or quiet refusal?You'll hear from a caller who is wrestling with the heartbreak of being in a beautiful, joyful relationship—except for one major misalignment. Together, we unpack the emotional tension, the grief, the fear of future regret, and the difficult questions that follow:•How do you talk about children when you're not on the same page?•Can you name a boundary without issuing an ultimatum?•How do you wait without betraying yourself?This conversation doesn't offer neat answers—but it does offer a roadmap for staying honest, kind, and courageous in the face of relational uncertainty.Stay through to the end for practical tools, boundary scripts, and a bit of self-reflection on what I might have done even better as a facilitator.Show NotesIn this episode, we explore:•What to do when one partner wants kids and the other is unsure•The difference between a boundary and an ultimatum•How to reveal what's true for you without shaming someone else's pace•The risks of toxic hope and the beauty of generative patience•Why shared grief can be a path back to connection If you're looking for a high caliber small group where you can deepen your practice and really live into the principles of compassion, non-violence and relational presence, apply for The Mentorship Circle, which will begin November 2nd. It will be three hours every month of advanced teaching, deep discussion, and practical integration. Learn more here. For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans. Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com. Here are more ways to connect with me: Become a member of my online learning community Join our calls live Set up a private session Follow me on TikTok @dr.yvetteerasmus

What do you do when something important is broken—but the people behind it are doing their best?In this episode, Jen is preparing to talk to a reporter about a youth program she deeply supports—and is deeply frustrated with. She wants change. She wants honesty. But she doesn't want to shame or vilify the people running the program.Together, we explore how to speak truth to systemic breakdowns with clarity, compassion, and courage. You'll hear us move through raw anger, heartfelt grief, and into honest, values-aligned language that invites collaboration instead of defensiveness.If you've ever tried to advocate for change without becoming the villain—or longed to tell the truth without betraying your heart—this conversation is for you.In this episode:•How to speak publicly about system failures without turning people into enemies•The vital role of anger, grief, and heartbreak in values-based leadership•How to stay self-connected when preparing to give hard feedback•Scripts and language tools for telling the truth with dignity•The emotional intelligence needed to shift from blame to collaboration•How to transform outrage into a relational invitation for change•What to do when both sides of the conflict are hurting and hopeful If you're looking for a high caliber small group where you can deepen your practice and really live into the principles of compassion, non-violence and relational presence, apply for The Mentorship Circle, which will begin November 2nd. It will be three hours every month of advanced teaching, deep discussion, and practical integration. Learn more here. For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans. Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com. Here are more ways to connect with me: Become a member of my online learning community Join our calls live Set up a private session Follow me on TikTok @dr.yvetteerasmus

What does it actually look like to live in peace without bypassing truth, collapsing boundaries, or avoiding complexity?In this episode, I share six powerful principles for peaceful living, not as moral prescriptions, but as relational practices rooted in the universal human needs that live inside all of us. You'll learn how to stay grounded in love and discernment, how to co-create mutual thriving, and how to repair ruptures with clarity and care.This conversation weaves together personal, relational, and systemic insight, offering a wise, trauma-informed, and deeply humane guide to living peace in everyday moments.In this episode, we'll explore:•How to respect sovereignty without detaching•Why control is not compassion•When and how to speak truth with care•What justice looks like in mutual, needs-based relationships•How to repair without rushing•Why paradox is the hallmark of relational maturityJoin me Aug. 14th for my Truth Over Comfort Mini-Workshop. This is a game changer if you're longing for a way to show up authentically especially around people who might not understand. We'll discuss helpful strategies designed to facilitate your next sticky conversation. For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans. Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com. Get 20% off your annual NVC Library subscription using the code YVETTENVCLIBRARY at checkout at: https://nvcacademy.com/registration/signup/nvc-library Here are more ways to connect with me: Become a member of my online learning community Join our calls live Set up a private session Follow me on TikTok @dr.yvetteer...

Why do some people leave you feeling small, confused, or ashamed, even though they smile, laugh, and seem perfectly nice?In this powerful coaching conversation, Jaya explores what happens when charm and condescension hide behind friendly facades. Together, we name the impact of what I call narcissistic fallout: the lingering disorientation that surfaces when unresolved trauma meets relational manipulation.We explore:•Why some conversations feel like being hypnotized•The nervous system effects of subtle emotional control•How to spot power moves disguised as “concern”•What to say (and how to exit) when someone laughs at your pain•The inner work of breaking free from spells of confusion and controlYou'll leave this episode with:•Practical language to protect your power•A somatic metaphor to stay grounded (the oak tree)•A gentle reminder that your grief holds your clarityThis is an episode for anyone reclaiming their voice after emotional gaslighting or enmeshment, and learning to walk away from people who don't feel safe in their nervous system. SHOW NOTES•[03:10] How past trauma shows up in confusing conversations•[07:20] What is “narcissistic fallout” and how does it hijack your power?•[10:15] Why charming people can leave you feeling ashamed•[14:30] Practical phrases to interrupt manipulation mid-conversation•[20:50] “The porcupine and the ring” — a metaphor for protecting yourself•[22:00] The Jungle Book python & the hypnotic quality of old patterns•[26:40] What to do when you keep trying to be liked by people who harm you•[32:10] How to support your inner teenager during relational triggers•[37:00] Somatic tools for staying rooted in your power•[39:00] Sample exit scripts you can use to protect your nervous systemResources & Links:•Join the Truth Over Comfort live workshop on August 14th (6–8pm CST): Register here.•Free Communication Starter Kit•Learn more about the Conversations from the Heart Membership ProgramLoved this episode?•Subscribe and leave a review on Apple Podcasts or SpotifJoin me Aug. 14th for my Truth Over Comfort Mini-Workshop. This is a game changer if you're longing for a way to show up authentically especially around people who might not understand. We'll discuss helpful strategies designed to facilitate your next sticky conversation. For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans. Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com. Get 20% off your annual NVC Library subscription using the code YVETTENVCLIBRARY at checkout at: https://nvcacademy.com/registration/signup/nvc-library Here are more ways to connect with me: Become a member of my online learning community Join our calls live Set up a private session Follow me on TikTok @dr.yvetteer...

In this episode, I coach a listener named Julia who feels dismissed after bringing up a difficult experience in therapy. Her therapist tried to normalize it by offering logic instead of empathy and now Julia's wondering how to bring it up without creating conflict or being misunderstood again.Together, we explore:•How to ask for more empathy in therapy (without blaming or shaming)•What it means when a therapist skips emotional attunement•A gentle script you can use when therapy feels misaligned•What to do if your therapist can't or won't meet you where you areIf you've ever walked away from therapy feeling more alone than connected, this episode offers tools, language, and hope.Stay till the end for a practical how-to guide on navigating these tough moments. Because asking for what you need in therapy is often the most healing work you'll ever do.In this episode:[02:00] How do I tell my therapist she didn't really hear me?[04:00] The difference between empathy and normalization[07:00] When therapists fix too fast, and why it hurts[09:00] A script to name misattunement without escalation[12:00] How the therapy relationship becomes the real work[14:00] Post-session how-to guide: 6 steps to naming what's not working in Join me Aug. 14th for my Truth Over Comfort Mini-Workshop. This is a game changer if you're longing for a way to show up authentically especially around people who might not understand. We'll discuss helpful strategies designed to facilitate your next sticky conversation. For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans. Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com. Get 20% off your annual NVC Library subscription using the code YVETTENVCLIBRARY at checkout at: https://nvcacademy.com/registration/signup/nvc-library Here are more ways to connect with me: Become a member of my online learning community Join our calls live Set up a private session Follow me on TikTok @dr.yvetteer...

What do you do when someone you care about paints you as the villain?Maybe you spoke your truth, and they called it manipulation.Maybe you set a boundary, and they called it narcissism.Maybe you asked for something you needed, and they said you lied.In this raw, real, and emotionally honest episode, Yvette walks two callers through the heartbreak and confusion that comes when our intentions are misunderstood and our character is questioned.We talk about:* How to respond with clarity and compassion when someone accuses you of lying or narcissism* What an apology actually means, and how to offer one without self-erasing* The difference between empathy and enabling (especially with adult children)* Scripts for repair conversations when the other person won't talk to you* How to protect your nervous system while still keeping your heart openIf you've ever been stuck between wanting to make things right and needing to stay safe, this one's for you.Stay till the end for:* A word-for-word apology template you can adapt to your own life* How to spot the real need underneath an accusation* Why the most generous thing you can do… might be walking awayListen now and discover how to stay in your truth and your tenderness—even when someone else can't see who you really are.Join me Aug. 14th for my Truth Over Comfort Mini-Workshop. This is a game changer if you're longing for a way to show up authentically especially around people who might not understand. We'll discuss helpful strategies designed to facilitate your next sticky conversation. For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans. Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com. Get 20% off your annual NVC Library subscription using the code YVETTENVCLIBRARY at checkout at: https://nvcacademy.com/registration/signup/nvc-library Here are more ways to connect with me: Become a member of my online learning community Join our calls live Set up a private session Follow me on TikTok @dr.yvetteer...

What if joy isn't the absence of discomfort, but something we can feel even in the thick of it?In this episode of Conversations from the Heart, I speak with three brave callers, each grappling with the tension between what they feel and how they long to show up. From emotional resentment in a professional friendship, to the struggle to be kind and also firm, to standing up to power without collapsing in fear, these conversations are raw, real, and deeply human.We explore how to:•Navigate mixed feelings without needing to clean them up or figure them out.•Stay connected to yourself in moments of not-knowing.•Reclaim your voice without abandoning your values.•Recognize when you're operating from self-trust and when you're just coping.•Use healthy anger to build connection rather than break it down.Whether you're floundering in a relationship, feeling dismissed in a conversation, or being shamed for speaking truth to power … this episode invites you back to yourself.Spoiler: It's possible to feel at peace even in the middle of the mess. Not by fixing it, but by being in honest relationship with it.Join me Aug. 14th for my Truth Over Comfort Mini-Workshop. This is a game changer if you're longing for a way to show up authentically especially around people who might not understand. We'll discuss helpful strategies designed to facilitate your next sticky conversation. For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans. Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com. Get 20% off your annual NVC Library subscription using the code YVETTENVCLIBRARY at checkout at: https://nvcacademy.com/registration/signup/nvc-library Here are more ways to connect with me: Become a member of my online learning community Join our calls live Set up a private session Follow me on TikTok @dr.yvetteer...

In this episode, we listen as Nate opens with a deeply human inquiry:What can I do to feel more regulated, more considerate, and less internally violent while driving?What unfolds is a rich exploration of road rage, internalized judgment, overstimulation, and the longing for care in a world that often feels aggressively indifferent. The conversation weaves together Nonviolent Communication, inner child work, trauma-informed insight, and the power of spiritual reframing.Takeaways:Driving can surface deep, unconscious wounds about safety, visibility, and being cared for.There's a difference between coping with a dysregulating world and designing a life that actually supports you.The wish to be “unaffected” is often a defensive maneuver to avoid overwhelm or pain,but true regulation requires learning how to metabolize life, not numb to it.“Right and wrong” can become tyrannical ideas when inherited from domination systems. Replacing them with “what meets needs” offers deeper integrity.Empathy begins by reclaiming your relationship with your own interior world.Everything (yes, even rush hour) can become a spiritual dojo.Join me this summer for my Holding Hope and Truth Over Comfort Mini-Workshops. We'll explore strengthening and centering hope, and choosing truth over comfort. For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans. Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com. Get 20% off your annual NVC Library subscription using the code YVETTENVCLIBRARY at checkout at: https://nvcacademy.com/registration/signup/nvc-library Here are more ways to connect with me: Become a member of my online learning community Join our calls live Set up a private session Follow me on TikTok @dr.yvetteerasmus

What happens when your inner life feels like a committee meeting: chaotic, conflicting, and deeply personal?In this episode, we hold space for four courageous voices navigating the messy middle between self-betrayal and self-expression. From the tension between ambition and peace, to the heartbreak of being shut down in community, to living with a judgmental roommate, to confronting a long-lost friend after betrayal: each conversation reveals something essential about the daily work of becoming more whole.We explore what it really takes to come home to yourself, especially when the world around you (and even inside you) feels noisy, critical, or confusing.You'll hear about:•Naming and listening to the competing parts within you•Self-regulation as a sacred practice•How to stop outsourcing your worth to other people's reactions•What to say (and not say) when you're ready to revisit old wounds•And why you don't have to “fix” anything before you can reclaim your voiceWhether you're grappling with doubt, disconnection, or the longing to be seen as you truly are—this episode is a gentle invitation to let your real self rise.Join me this summer for my Holding Hope and Truth Over Comfort Mini-Workshops. We'll explore strengthening and centering hope, and choosing truth over comfort. For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans. Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com. Get 20% off your annual NVC Library subscription using the code YVETTENVCLIBRARY at checkout at: https://nvcacademy.com/registration/signup/nvc-library Here are more ways to connect with me: Become a member of my online learning community Join our calls live Set up a private session Follow me on TikTok @dr.yvetteerasmus

Ever feel like your regret is selfish? Or worry that setting a boundary will ruin the friendship? In this episode, you'll hear from Judy who wants to write a condolence letter, but struggles when her grief spirals into self-blame.  Then we turn to Georgia, who just can't take one more last-minute cancellation from a friend, but also doesn't want to lose her friendship over it. If you've ever wrestled with guilt, struggled to speak up in friendships, or wondered how to stay openhearted while honoring your own needs—this episode is for you.Inside this episode:•The regret reframe that will change your life•A word-for-word script for naming hurt without causing defensiveness•Why your “too muchness” might be your tenderness trying to protect you•How to stop over-functioning and start honoring your needs•The unexpected role of nervous system regulation in friendship repairAnd as a bonus, listen for a surprising metaphor involving cloudy days, sunburns, and how to stop trying to change people just so you can stay connected.Join me this summer for my Holding Hope and Truth Over Comfort Mini-Workshops. We'll explore strengthening and centering hope, and choosing truth over comfort. For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans. Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com. Get 20% off your annual NVC Library subscription using the code YVETTENVCLIBRARY at checkout at: https://nvcacademy.com/registration/signup/nvc-library Here are more ways to connect with me: Become a member of my online learning community Join our calls live Set up a private session Follow me on TikTok @dr.yvetteerasmus

What if the reason your relationships feel hard isn't because there's something wrong with you, but rather because you're waking up and getting more conscious?  In this tender, truth-filled episode, we meet Carol and Paulina, two women navigating the messy terrain of rebuilding self-trust after giving too much of themselves away in past relationships.Carol is considering reconnecting with a longtime friend who's consistently prioritized his comfort over their mutual care. She wants reciprocity but keeps accommodating the status quo, hoping it'll inspire change. Together, we explore the hidden cost of chronic self-abandonment and what it takes to risk doing things differently.Paulina, meanwhile, is mourning the loss of a toxic relationship that activated every part of her attachment system. She feels flat, emotionally shut down, and unsure if she can ever love again. Her current relationship is kind, stable… and unfamiliar. We unpack the difference between trauma chemistry and real connection, and how to trust love that doesn't feel like chaos.If you've ever confused anxiety for attraction, or found yourself resentfully staying in a dynamic that doesn't meet your needs, this episode is for you.You'll learn:How to stop over-functioning in lopsided relationshipsThe difference between behavior and intention, and which one to trustWhy real love might feel boring at first (and why that's a good thing)How to reclaim your yes and no without shameAnd how to grieve what never was without losing your capacity to love againListen in for practical tools, emotional wisdom, and the gentle nudge you may need to come back to yourself.Join me this summer for my Holding Hope and Truth Over Comfort Mini-Workshops. We'll explore strengthening and centering hope, and choosing truth over comfort. For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans. Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com. Get 20% off your annual NVC Library subscription using the code YVETTENVCLIBRARY at checkout at: https://nvcacademy.com/registration/signup/nvc-library Here are more ways to connect with me: Become a member of my online learning community Join our calls live Set up a private session Follow me on TikTok @dr.yvetteerasmus

What do you do when someone you love keeps using emotional blunt force instead of listening? When the men in your life still believe criticism is caring, or that dominance equals dialogue?In this week's episode, we sit with two brave women learning how to communicate with men who are still playing by old, outdated rules where vulnerability is weakness, power is control, and connection gets sacrificed for the illusion of authority.We explore what it means to keep our hearts open without abandoning ourselves, to name what hurts without making someone wrong, and to build bridges without betraying our own inner truth. You'll hear real-life moments, fresh language to try, and permission to stop performing “good girl” energy just to keep the peace.In this raw and real episode, two women ask:How do I stay in connection with someone who keeps hurting me?Why do I freeze or fawn when I know better?SHOW NOTES: Why old-school masculinity often shows up as dismissal, control, or withdrawalHow women often internalize the pressure to stay sweet, silent, and obedientWhat to say (and not say) when our boundaries are being ignoredThe art of exiting a conversation with grace and powerHow to bring “bad girl” energy back into wholenessThis episode is for anyone tired of talking to a wall, and ready to start listening to themselves.

You pulled away. They're still mad. Now what? In this raw and deeply human episode, we unpack exactly what to say—and how to stay grounded—when you're ready to reconnect after silence, space, or rupture. Whether you were isolated by trauma or just needed room to breathe, this episode offers repair scripts, emotional insights, and the one mindset shift that changes everything.In this episode, you'll learn:•How to craft a heartfelt message to reconnect after distance•What to say when your friend is still angry (without getting defensive)•A reframe for “running away” that honors your healing•How to stay open when shame, fear, or guilt try to take over•The difference between apologizing and collapsing•What to do if the conversation doesn't go how you hopedYou'll hear real-time coaching with two community members navigating:•Friendship rupture and reconciliation•Emotional honesty without self-erasure•The courage it takes to rebuild trust—step by stepWhether you're the one who stepped away or the one left wondering why, this conversation is a masterclass in emotional maturity, repair, and self-responsibility.

Ever find yourself carrying someone else's emotional backpack… and wondering why your shoulders hurt?Today we unpack four real-life questions about emotional boundaries, relational burnout, and the art of letting go of what was never yours to hold. You'll hear raw, relatable stories, from being exiled from a beloved community group, to walking away from a relationship where you were doing all the emotional heavy lifting, to healing a strained mother-daughter dynamic, and navigating triggering conversations around money.If you've ever wondered:“Am I responsible for fixing this?”“How do I honor my limits without hurting someone else?”“Why do I feel so hooked right now?”…this episode offers guidance, clarity, and a whole lot of compassion.You'll learn:Why fixing is disapprovalHow to set a boundary without bracing for a fightA script for naming recurring patterns without activating defensivenessWhat to say when someone demands emotional labor you can't giveWhy your triggers might be invitations (not threats)Come for the aha moments, stay for the soul-soothing reframes. This one's a deep dive into the messy, brave work of staying rooted in yourself—especially when it would be easier to collapse, comply, or control.A Special Offer for My Podcast Listeners:Get 20% off your annual NVC Library subscription using the code YVETTENVCLIBRARY at checkout at https://nvcacademy.com/registration/signup/nvc-libraryFeeling overwhelmed with the current state of the world? You're not alone, and I can help. Join me on Thursday, May 29th as I host The Soft Revolution Begins With You: Living Love As Daily Resistance. This FREE webinar will explore how to stay rooted in love when the world feels harsh, broken, or chaotic and what it means to live your values as a form of daily resistance. Sign up today! For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans. Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com. Here are more ways to connect with me: Become a member of my online learning community Join our calls live Set up a private session Follow me on TikTok @dr.yvetteerasmus

Feeling overwhelmed with the current state of the world? You're not alone, and I can help. Join me on Thursday, May 29th as I host The Soft Revolution Begins With You: Living Love As Daily Resistance. This FREE webinar will explore how to stay rooted in love when the world feels harsh, broken, or chaotic and what it means to live your values as a form of daily resistance. Sign up today! For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans. Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com. Here are more ways to connect with me: Become a member of my online learning community Join our calls live Set up a private session Follow me on TikTok @dr.yvetteerasmus

This tender and deeply resonant episode follows a heartfelt question from listener Cathy: Do I keep talking to my brother, even after all the harm he's caused?What unfolds is an intimate exploration of how to stay rooted in our own integrity when we're torn between love and protection, compassion and accountability, connection and boundaries.  We dive into how to love someone clearly, without collapsing into enabling, appeasing, or pretending.Cathy shares the painful complexity of loving a sibling who's caused irreversible harm - some unethical, some illegal - and the grief of wanting connection without pretending the pain never happened.Warning:  Strong language is used, so be careful if little ones are listening in! 

What if your fiercest judgments were just misplaced devotion?In this raw and revealing episode, we unpack those charged moments when your love for truth and justice gets mistaken for criticism or control. When your “I just want to help” lands more like “You're doing it wrong.” And when your longing to belong collides with your need to speak up.Two powerful stories unfold in this episode:  One about a moment of regret after calling out a fellow trainer in a large group, and another about getting kicked out of a recovery meeting… for being too disruptive. But underneath it all? The same longing: to be seen, heard, and held in our full humanity.

Ever felt torn between staying true to yourself and keeping the peace in your relationships? In this episode, we walk with three courageous guests as they navigate the messy middle of relational repair, where heartbreak, hope, and healing often collide.Throughout the episode, I offer grounded coaching and relational insight, modeling how to make peace with not getting your way, how to advocate without attachment, and how to hold your truth with both gentleness and strength.Plus, I share my favorite Marshall Rosenberg quote that gives us all permission to show up imperfectly.The big insight?  Sometimes, the conversation is less about the thing and more about the way we talk about it. Tune in to learn how to shift from “I need you to agree with me” to “Can we co-create a process where we both matter?”Key Questions ExploredWhat do I do when I want something deeply - but no one else agrees?How can I reconnect with someone after months or years of silence?How do I set boundaries with people who steamroll my needs?What if honoring myself means disappointing people I love?Listener Takeaways/Show Notes A step-by-step process for advocating without demandingHow to hold space for grief when connection doesn't go as hopedThe “thermometer tool” to surface hidden family dynamicsLanguage to use when you're overwhelmed but still want to show upHow to shift from self-judgment to healthy regret when you're not perfectListen for heart-centered coaching, clear language templates, and real-life examples of relational courage.Feeling overwhelmed with the current state of the world? You're not alone, and I can help. Join me on Thursday, May 29th as I host The Soft Revolution Begins With You: Living Love As Daily Resistance. This FREE webinar will explore how to stay rooted in love when the world feels harsh, broken, or chaotic and what it means to live your values as a form of daily resistance. Sign up today! For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans. Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com. Here are more ways to connect with me: Become a member of my online learning community Join my Spring Deep Dive: The Art of Repair Work Join our calls live Set up a private session ...

Ever spiraled into shame because of one tiny mistake? Or replayed a text convo with a ghoster, trying to decode what you did wrong? You're not alone, and you're not broken. In this vulnerable and uplifting episode, Tiffany and Patrice bring raw questions to the table, and I offer some insights into how we talk to ourselves when we feel abandoned, rejected, or ashamed.This one's for every tender-hearted human who's been too hard on themselves - and who's ready for something softer, wiser, and more freeing.We discuss:1:10 Opening thoughts2:33 How a wrong phone number on a business card led to a spiral of shame - and the exact steps to stop that spiral mid-spin.11:34 Two strategies in the moment of stress:  pause, and name what's happening12:05 Why reclaiming the word “stupid” could be the most liberating thing you do all week.19:52 What ghosting actually tells you about someone - and how it might be the kindest exit you didn't ask for.25:47 A note on goodness of fit and how it can enable choicefulness33:19 Comments from the audience45:30 Closing thoughts Please share with your family and friends! For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans. Subscribe & Follow:Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.Thank you for listening! Here are more ways to connect with me: Become a member of my online learning community Join my Spring Deep Dive: The Art of Repair Work Join our calls live Set up a private session Follow me on TikTok @dr.yvetteerasmus

In this epsiode, we speak with Cathy and Paul.  Cathy is untangling her intentions around gift giving and her desire to be closer to her daughter.  Paul is working to understand an intense emotional reaction after he had a difficult conversation with his partner.We discuss:3:10 Opening thoughts on the current political climate10:26 How do I discern between my reaction and the reality of a thing?17:46 The sweet spot we're longing for when giving a gift21:30 Finally I feel like an adult!30:18 I am right on time.35:30 Dogs vs. cats41:02 Are you stressed about telling someone a truth?42:13 I had a hard conversation and an intense emotional reaction and I'm not sure why.51:30 Setting an intention to cry55:50 Practical Do's and Don'tsPlease share with your family and friends! For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans. Subscribe & Follow:Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.Thank you for listening! Here are more ways to connect with me: Become a member of my online learning community Join my Spring Deep Dive: The Art of Repair Work Join our calls live Set up a private session Follow me on TikTok @dr.yvetteerasmus

How do we stay connected to ourselves - and to others - when our nervous systems are screaming, our inner critics are loud, and old family patterns are tugging us backward?In this episode, we examine:2:03 I'm struggling in my relationship with my sister.  Why does my body still react to conflict even when my mind knows I'm safe now?7:19 A new, empowering take on going "no contact" (it's not a rejection - it's a reset)13:51 A practical way to set new terms of engagement in relationships that matter, but hurt20:37 I want to set an intention with my family.  How can I best interact with them?29:44 I'm in a place of transition, how can I best connect with myself?50:33 How can I tell if the resistance I'm feeling needs to be worked through or if I need to switch course?55:25 Closing thoughtsPlease share with your family and friends! For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans. Subscribe & Follow:Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.Thank you for listening! Here are more ways to connect with me: Become a member of my online learning community Join my Spring Deep Dive: The Art of Repair Work Join our calls live Set up a private session Follow me on TikTok @dr.yvetteerasmus

What if every awkward silence, every emotional hijack, every misstep can be used as stepping-stone to circle back to a conversation?  To reconnect.  To build trust, not erode it.What if "failed" moments aren't actually failures at all, but are simply part of a natural, generative learning process?Today, we examine moments that feel like failures at the time, but are actually opportunities for greater connection with ourself and others.We explore:1:01   Intro thoughts2:40  How can I incorporate NVC tools at work?3:45  Step 1:  Observe7:20   The most powerful thing you can do when you're in a position of power14:43  'm angry.  What can I do?23:45  How can I stop judging my family?31:07  A script for revealing ourselves in small ways39:53  Q&A51:10  Closing tips and practicesPlease share with your family and friends! For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans. Subscribe & Follow:Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.Thank you for listening! Here are more ways to connect with me: Become a member of my online learning community Join my Spring Deep Dive: The Art of Repair Work Join our calls live Set up a private session Follow me on TikTok @dr.yvetteerasmus

In this episode, Jaya brings forward a challenge that many of us can relate to - leaving conversations feeling undermined or devalued.  She struggles with how to maintain her power and self-worth when people dismiss, invalidate, or fail to recognize her contributions.  Her core questions include:How do I keep my power when dealing with people who undermine or devalue me?What language can I use to defend myself?How do I navigate situations where I freeze in response to subtle invalidation?Why do some people always take a contrarian point of view, and how can I respond?How do I handle accusations of being selfish when I set boundaries or withdraw?Key Takeaways for ListenersShift Your Perspective - Stop seeing these moments as something being done to you and instead as data about the other person's patterns and needs.Break the Victim Cycle - Seeing yourself as prey in a predator-prey dynamic keeps you in freeze mode.  Recognizing others' behaviors as their habitual strategies helps reclaim your power.Practice Self-Connection - Instead of seeking validation from someone who won't provide it, turn inward and self-attune:  What am I feeling?  What do I need?Ask for What You Want - If someone is dismissing your feelings, redirect the conversation by explicitly asking them to focus on your experience rather than rationalizing the other person's behavior.Recognize Their Needs - Many people default to giving advice or taking a contrarian stance as a way of meeting their own needs - to feel helpful, competent, or insightful.  Seeing this can help depersonalize their behavior.Exit With Grace - If someone is Monopolizing the conversation or invalidating you, set a boundary:  "I just realized I need to get going."  No justification is needed.Selfishness vs. Self-Connection - True self-care benefits everyone.  When you act from self-connection rather than obligation, you model healthy relational dynamics.We Discuss: 1:01 Opening thoughts3:05 I feel undermined and I freeze.  How can I reframe this?12:17 They're not "doing something to me".  They're providing data about themselves.14:28 Asking for what you want as a strategy out of the educating20:51 What can I say if I don't want to listen anymore?28:27 What can I say when someone accuses me of being selfish?31:04 Closing ThoughtsPlease share with your family and friends! For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans. Subscribe & Follow:Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.Thank you for listening! Here are more ways to connect with me: Become a member of my online learning community Join my Spring Deep Dive: The Art of Repair Work Join our calls live Set up a private session Follow me on TikTok @dr.yvetteerasmus

What happens when we truly listen?  Not just to respond, but to create space for deeper self-awareness?  This rich and layered conversation with Patrice shows how connection-based, collaborative listening results I moving beyond her initial questions into a profound self-discovery process.  By gently reflecting, naming patterns, and holding space, we allow the layers of meaning to emerge organically--leading to clarity and self-trust.Listen in as we explore:How our initial questions often point to deeper truths we haven't fully named yet.The role of reflective listening in helping someone find their own answers Why deep, presence-based conversations create lasting transformationHow to listen in a way that fosters connection instead of fixing or advisingLooking for a conversation that honors both depth and autonomy?  Listen in now.Key moments:1:39 Opening thoughts3:03 I want to break a familiar pattern of seeking connection with those who can't offer what I need.10:10 Noticing the presence of both grief and hope17:30 Closing thoughtsPlease share with your family and friends! Use PODCAST50 to get $50 off tuition for my Spring Deep Dive, The Art of Repair Work: From Regret to Resilience. Group starts on March 31st for 8 weeks, so register early to save your space. For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans. Subscribe & Follow:Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.Thank you for listening! Here are more ways to connect with me: Become a member of my online learning community Join my Spring Deep Dive: The Art of Repair Work Join our calls live Set up a private session Follow me on TikTok @dr.yvetteerasmus

Have you ever texted a friend, waited for a reply, and felt like your entire world was crumbling when they didn't respond right away?  Do you find yourself deeply affected by neutral comments or minor critiques?  If so, you might be experiencing Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD) - a powerful emotional response that can feel like overwhelming pain, shame or devastation after a real or pervceived rejection.In this episode, we break down:What RSD is and why it feels so intenseHow to differentiate between real rejection and fear of rejectionPractical tools to regulate your emotions and build resilienceHow to work with your sensitive nervous system, not against itReal-life strategies for handling rejection in relationships, work and daily interactions A powerful reframe that will help you embrace your sensitivity as a strength, not a flawPlus, you'll hear from Annie, a seasoned Nonviolent Communication practitioner, as she vulnerably shares her struggles with RSD - despite all her training - and how she's learning to navigate these deep emotional waves.✨If you've ever felt "too sensitive" or struggled to bounce back from rejection, this episode is for you.We discuss:1:55 Opening thoughts3:33 What is RSD?9:50 How can I best deal with RSD?15:09 How can I decrease my suffering and increase my capacity?21:17 Anxious and Avoidant Attachment Styles25:56 Closing thoughts

When kids act out - whether it's stealing, shutting down, pushing boundaries, or having emotional outbursts - how can we respond in ways that guide them toward growth rather than shame?Today, we explore two powerful real-life situations:A young10-year old boy who stole money from his mentor:  What was driving his behavior, and how could adults respond in a way that fosters learning instead of punishment?A seven-year-old struggling with his parents' divorce: How can his mother support his overwhelming emotions without taking on his distress or trying to “fix” his sadness?Through these stories, we unpack the difference between control and connection, how to set limits without losing warmth, and why holding space for kids' emotions is the key to their long-term resilience.Tune in as we explore - 2:24 Opening thoughts3:21 I'm dealing with a child who stole money and could use some help with a conversation.7:29 I don't like how I showed up and I want to bring something new to the conversation22:13 How can I help my son cope with his new home?Please share with your family and friends! Use PODCAST50 to get $50 off tuition for my Spring Deep Dive, The Art of Repair Work: From Regret to Resilience. Group starts on March 31st for 8 weeks, so register early to save your space. For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans. Subscribe & Follow:Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.Thank you for listening! Here are more ways to connect with me: Become a member of my online learning community Join my Spring Deep Dive: The Art of Repair Work Join our calls live Set up a private session Follow me on TikTok @dr.yvetteerasmus

Have you ever been cast as the "villain" in someone else's story?  Perhaps you're seen as the one who got it wrong, didn't do enough, or failed to meet expectations?Today, we explore what it means to hold our ground in relationships without getting defensive, to listen without justifying, and to accept that sometimes, people need to see us as the problem while they process their own pain.In today's conversation, Jill's daughter just sent her a long list of parenting grievances.  How can she respond with love and understanding without falling into the trap of proving herself?And, Jaya keeps finding herself in relationships where she feels small. How does she break the cycle of submission, reclaim her voice, and recognize when a dynamic isn't worth staying in?Together we'll explore:✨ Why defensiveness keeps us stuck—and what to do instead  ✨ How to recognize the real need behind someone's anger or blame  ✨ The difference between explaining and connecting  ✨ How to trust your own voice, even when someone else tries to rewrite the narrative  ✨ When to stay, when to engage, and when to let go  Show Notes:1:01 Opening comments3:43 My daughter wrote me an angry text and I'm not sure how to best respond.20:55 The healing is not in litigating the past, but happens in the present.27:04 My pattern in relationships is to collapse.  How can I be more assertive?30:47 The key to asking for what we want41:28 Healing requires a regulated nervous system49:23 Closing thoughtsIf you've ever felt misunderstood, unfairly judged, or struggled to maintain connection while standing in your truth, this episode is for you.Please share with your family and friends! Use PODCAST50 to get $50 off tuition for my Spring Deep Dive, The Art of Repair Work: From Regret to Resilience. Group starts on March 31st for 8 weeks, so register early to save your space. For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans. Subscribe & Follow:Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.Thank you for listening! Here are more ways to connect with me: Become a member of my online learning community Join my Spring Deep Dive: The Art of Repair Work Join our calls live Set up a private session Follow me on TikTok @dr.yvetteerasmus

In this week's episode, both questions focus on the theme of disappointment, and how to work with people and relationships that leave us wanting.  We discuss:1:03 Opening comments7:01 I just found out my friend got married and I wasn't invited16:28 Avoidant vs. anxious attachment styles22:18 Role play:  What would you say if you could?32:14 I want an unconditionally loving relationship and I am always disappointed43:19 Not all our needs must be met by one personPlease share with your family and friends! Use PODCAST50 to get $50 off tuition for my Spring Deep Dive, The Art of Repair Work: From Regret to Resilience. Group starts on March 31st for 8 weeks, so register early to save your space. For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans. Subscribe & Follow:Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.Thank you for listening! Here are more ways to connect with me: Become a member of my online learning community Join my Spring Deep Dive: The Art of Repair Work Join our calls live Set up a private session Follow me on TikTok @dr.yvetteerasmus

From the moment we enter the world, we begin learning.  We absorb the rules of our families, communities, and larger societies.  Some of these lessons serve us well, fostering connection, growth, and resilience.But others come from systems designed to control and dominate, systems that teach us to trade our authenticity for approval, our agency for compliance, and our creativity for conformity.In this episode, we speak with Carol and Jen who are working with ways to voice their needs with an eye to getting those needs met.  We discuss:1:02 Opening thoughts3:45 How can I create a more mutual friendship with an old friend?9:55 How to check out my assumption with my friend16:06 I'm scared to speak up about what I want23:20 My suggestion was shot down in a meeting and I collapsed afterwards.  How can I show up when I'm shut down?27:20 Step 1:  Accepting where I am28:00 Step 2:  Ask a question.  ANY QUESTION.35:25 How to lead with more "I" and less "You"40:06 Shadow work:  I get to take up space47:30 What can I do for myself once I've woken from a freeze response?Please share with your family and friends! Use PODCAST50 to get $50 off tuition for my Spring Deep Dive, The Art of Repair Work: From Regret to Resilience. Group starts on March 31st for 8 weeks, so register early to save your space. For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans. Subscribe & Follow:Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.Thank you for listening! Here are more ways to connect with me: Become a member of my online learning community Join my Spring Deep Dive: The Art of Repair Work Join our calls live Set up a private session Follow me on TikTok @dr.yvetteerasmus