Don Woods

Our wonderful Government.....you couldn't make it up......I haven't got a clue what is going on and neither have they. I am enjoying the women's rugby league.......great win against France....and the England men's team were brilliant.....then we have the football with Liverpool beating Man City followed by fans throwing stuff at Klopp and him getting a red card on the touchline.............the game needs sorting ... it is slowly getting out of hand.................... stupidity is also creeping into the junior game with parents attacking the referee for giving a red card etc to one of their kids.....it's a football match...that's all....mind you one town has cancelled certain games for the rest of the season because of low life behaviour....which is one answer.... I watched the TV Awards.....what a load of rubbish.....I had to laugh at the award for the best presenter with Bradley Walsh looking confident as he presents more programmes than anyone in history.......and guess who won it for the 21st consecutive time....yes...Ant and Dec.....Bradley's face was a treat......TV doesn't get much worse. Then we have our weekly dose of Strictly Come Dancing in which I do enjoy watching the skills of the pro dancers but they always have to alter things...WHY.....now we have two blokes dancing with each other and two women dancing with each other....which is not good....PLUS we now have to be subjected to sob stories from contestants which have nothing do with the contest....the format was perfect as it was. I would like to feature the Diana Dors song this week...."I've Sen and Done it All

I find it very strange referring to our new king as King Charles ....and to hear the National anthem as God Save The King......we haven't seen a lot of him up to now but I'm sure he will find his feet.....but it's a tough act to follow. Liverpool has been chosen to host the 2023 Eurovision Song Contest in place of Ukraine.....so that should bring a few quid into the city. Ken Bruce on Radio 2 has featured Brian Blessed as his guest and he picks his favourite records each day through the week.....what an interesting bloke.....apart from his amazing acting career he has climbed Everest amongst many other adventures....I remember him starting out in Z Cars back in the day. I also watched a documentary soon Diana Dors which was fascinating......I wrote a song for her, which she recorded, when I was signed to a London record company back in the 70s which I have only recently heard for the first time.....watching this documentary was quite emotional as I actually spoke to her on the phone. There is a new series coming on the T.V. called "The Larkins"....staring guess who...Bradley Walsh.....so he is now on The Chase every day...plus Blankety Blank...plus Law and Order....plus Breaking Dad (with his son)....plus Coronation Street....not to mention Dr.Who....plus hosting the Palladium...plus a string of past quiz shows.....wont be long before it's Sir Bradders. Just when you though that Brad's diary must be full out he comes with an album of old classics.....he's not a bad singer so I thought he deserves a bit of publicity as we don't see much of him....so here is a song off his album. "Get Happy."...by Bradley Walsh and The Bradettes

On the political front I'm afraid I have totally lost my way so you have the opportunity to voice your opinion so over to you........ We haven't heard much more about the rocket which is to take off for the moon....has it gone yet? Not forgetting the other thing the boffins have sent up which successfully changed the direction of an asteroid which is good so now we are safe should one actually threaten the earth as one did millions of years ago................what this lot costs doesn't bare thinking about....but I'm sure the poverty stricken and starving folk in the world are delighted with the "success" I would like to wish Mark Owen ...from the one man band Take That.....good luck with his latest come back.....I think. the lad is somewhat misguided with his long hair and earring etc......I'm sure he is a nice chap but there is a time to call it a day. Winter is here so we are inundated with quiz shows with the same old formats....what is annoying is the presenter always asks the same question to the contestant "what will you do with the money if you win?".....the contestant then explains how he is going to take his family on a luxury holiday etc then two minutes later he's out of the game with no money.....point being? HE'S BACK!! Graham Norton with his weekly selection of guests who are there purely to promote their latest ventures......I watched the first one last week.....the guests included David Tennant and Jamie Lee Curtis....who came on (possibly after a few wines) and tried to unsuccessfully take over the show as they all tried to talk over each other....with Graham guffawing along with it all...I decided out of interest to watch it to the end.....only to be subjected to Robbie Williams with his latest record.......time to switch off. Then we have the Sunday night Strictly Come Dancing results from Saturday.....and Robbie is only on again!!.........I know he is very popular and has sold many records but I can't stand him. I would like to remember an old friend of mine who worked on Radio City called Norman Thomas....I did several jingles for his programme...this one was for his daily competition whereby you had to guess what he had in his hand after being given various clues.....it was very popular and hilarious.....it was a short jingle but this one was the 12 inch version.....a great guy and sad loss.

There has been endless coverage of the Queen lying in state with thousands and thousands of her loyal subjects queuing fo up to 24 hours to pass the coffin and show their respects showing how respected she was.....a wonderful lady .......and David Beckham has been praised for joining the line with everyone else instead of using his celebrity to jump the queue.....unlike Philip Schofield and Holly Willoughby who have taken some stick. Football has returned after being cancelled out of respect....which is a good thing unless you support Leicester. One of the satellite channels has started showing old Benny Hill shows.....they haven't aged well....I used to find him funny back in the day but not now.....the sexism is totally over the top....not that I am bothered about that....but it just isn't funny any more...sorry Benny. Out of interest I watched a film on TV about Laurel and Hardy....called "Stan and Ollie" which covered the later years of the duo when they went on the road.....Stan being played by Steve Coogan and Ollie by John Reilly.......normally these sort of films don't quite get the characters right....however this was brilliant ...within minutes you thought you were watching the real stars....great film. Back in the day I was a huge fan of The Beach Boys....I loved their harmonies and great surfing songs.....and bought all their albums until they lost there way....in my opinion...with "Pet Sounds"...so I watched a concert on TV featuring Brian Wilson and a large band singing his hits.....it started well with some of his early hits like California Girls and Help Me Rhonda....then he goes into his later stuff so it was time to switch off.....I would like to feature as this week's record one of their early hits to remind us how good they were when the surf was up and we all had "Fun Fun Fun"

The blanket coverage of the loss of our wonderful Queen....my memories of the coronation. We have a new P.M. Liz Truss.....this has been overshadowed at the moment with the news of the Royals. I felt the women's football took a step backwards with the 10 Nil win over Luxemburg.....hopefully it will pick up when they play a decent team. I watched a very interesting Alfred Hitchcock film called "Rope".....I had never heard of it....what made it fascinating was the whole film was made with one single camera shot....amazing. I never thought our TV programmes could get any worse.....I was wrong......thank goodness we have.programmes like "Room 101" and "Would I Lie to you"....what is sad is that programmes like The Voice and The Masked Singer are very popular.....maybe it's just me. The song I would like featured this week in one that I remember around the time of the coronation..."Cry" by Johnnie Ray.......I became a fan of his after this song and have sung it many times in my band over the years.

Newswatch is back which gives the opportunity for viewers to criticise the news coverage....the complaints ranged from the ridiculous coverage of our "heatwave" and the forthcoming energy price rises.....both being on at the top of the news day after day........and the unnecessary coverage of child violence on the 6p.m. news......needless to say there was no BBC News representative available to comment. Then we have the devastating floods in Pakistan watching the suffering and hardships it brings as they reach out for help......as we watch the spaceship preparing to go off to the moon....say no more. The handwritten lyrics to David Bowie's "Starman" have been found which will sell for thousands.....it's a piece of paper .....but obviously it means so much more to those who see so much in it......or think they do. As there was absolutely nothing worth watching on TV last SaturdayI thought I would watch something I've never seen....The Masked Dancer.....where celebs dress up in costumes and hide their face and dance in front of a panel of talentless celebs who have to guess who the dancer is........to say it's the biggest load of rubbish I have ever seen would be an understatement.....as bad as it gets.....that is an hour and a half I will will never get back .................followed by "The Voice" where hopefuls come on and sing behind a row of celebs...after we have heard their sob stories... the celebs spin around if they like them.....absolute garbage....but at least it's on ITV so I'm not paying for it. I felt it was time to look back at some of the hits from the good old days and came across this one....those of a certain age moan about modern music so I though we could feature this song.....which was actually a hit back in the day.....it is so bad it should serve as a reminder that we never got it right all the time.....Jess Conrad singing "Cherry Pie"

1.Our loyal postmen have gone on strike....this being an example of those actually doing the work to feather the nests of those "in charge" who don't.....some of the pay rises of the so called "bosses" are obscene. 2.I watched a programme featuring American stand up Bill Maher....who says it as it is.....he mentioned a sexual harassment case brought up by some woman against a presidential candidate who kissed her on the back of the head....five years ago and she is still deeply distressed...no doubt the legal guys were delighted. 3.I watched a documentary which featured the sixties pirate radio station Radio Caroline which illustrated the outdated pillocks who ran the BBC who would only play one hour of pop music at the time. 4.I know I am from the past but I fail to see the point of tattoos and rings in the nose.....I know it's modern fashion....but WHY? 5.Bing Crosby was, and still is, my favourite crooner....I have always been a fan.....what I didn't know was his massive influence on recording techniques....and how he changed the direction of record production.....this was in a documentary I watched recently which was fascinating....I would therefore like to feature Bing in this week's record spot.....the choice is yours as all his songs were great.

The news has done a U-Turn....we are not now going to fry and die of thirst...we are going to drown as we now have floods....so the scaremongering has changed direction. Along with all the strikes among the buses, trains and docks our Barristers are going on strike....so lock your doors....you couldn't make it up...does this lot have any consideration for anyone but themselves. There are a lot of complaints about bikes on the road and how idiots can't be traced.....electric bikes are being ridden at 30 mph despite the 5 mph limit.....and the lycra boys think they own the roads....answers simple ...make them require a licence like other motorists.....or is that too obvious. We have seen the last of donkey rides in New Brighton....the cruelty to animals brigade have been on the warpath.....I can't say I disagree but why has it taken so long to come to this conclusion....I remember having a donkey ride 70 years ago I have recently been approached by a company who are working on famous legends around the country to present on Channel 4......they have spotted my YouTube clip of The Legend of Beddgelert and asked me for details of it.....I told them how it came about and they said they would be in touch.....so we'll see what happens.....I have sent you the music from the clip and the story which I have set to poetry and is narrated by Paul Damian.....get your handkerchief ready.

The heatwave has struck again....so the hosepipe bans are back....not to mention the empty reservoirs....the news is having a field day scaring everyone. Then we have the rising cost of our energy bills with the news telling us we could not only starve because we wont be able to afford food....we will also freeze......how did we survive when we were young with no central heating etc? The main supermarkets are doing their bit....they have stopped selling those disposable barbecues.....which will prevent careless picnickers setting the country on fire.......I wonder which items on their shelves will quietly increase to cover their losses. In between the blanket athletic sport we have the return of the football.....withManchester noted bottom of the table with Everton close by.....I'd rather watch the young lady gymnasts showing the world what REAL talent is......Man U. should sign one of them up as a goalie. I watched a fascinating documentary on ABBA with an in depth chat with Agnetha.....the band produced a lot of masterpieces and for my money were top of the tree. The song this week is a classic which Ricky Nelson recorded back in the 50s.....it was known for it's great guitar solo by James Burton who played on all of Ricky's early hits prior to him joining Elvis in Vegas.....around 2008 James came over here to tour and I had the opportunity to join him in concert singing a selection of Ricky Nelson Hits......he then came over each year and I did 8 concerts with him over the years and we became good mates.....this is a live recording of one of the concerts as we launch into "Hello Mary Lou"

1.Overdosing on The Commonwealth Games....all good stuff....medals everywhere. 2.B.P. have announced their 13 billion or so profits.....I'm so delighted for them.....guess which petrol stations I will be driving past. 3.Modern fashion trends for the older generation standing up against the passage of time. 4.The usual hosepipe ban is upon us which means the floods are due.....we must save water because it's August.....because we always do. 5.My connection with Diana Dors and the song I wrote for her almost 50 years ago....and I have only just heard it......so this week's song has to be "I've Seen an Done It All" by Diana Dors

1.The BBC have been receiving a barrage of complaints regarding their heatwave coverage. 2.The Open Golf.....bit of a damp squib? 3.The Liverpool/Man City game......including the poor commentary 4.The Ladies World Cup Final 5.Documentary on Jackie Kennedy 6.Elvis films and his comeback in Vegas..........with James Burton on guitar.....the song this week is a live performance of "Poor Little Fool" with me on vocals and James backing me......cool or what.

Hi Vince.....here are this weeks subjects for discussion. 1.The two day heatwave and how we survived it without bursting into flames. 2.The fabulous World Athletics Championships and the great personalities involved. 3.The Great British Bake Off - The Musical....can you believe. 4.Bargain Hunt and Flog It.....with their fascinating historic inserts. 5.The interesting interview by Melvyn Bragg with comedian Frank Skinner. 6.Worst record of the week spot takes us back through the years to the Little Jimmy Osmond classic "Long Haired Lover for Liverpool"....as bad as it gets.....I was an admirer of The Osmonds and actually met Donny.....not sure how his little brother got away with this one

1.The heatwave and the media's attempts to scrape news from it 2.Vaping in schools is a major problem which needs to be solved according to the "desperate for news" media 3.Mo Farrah reveals the truth about himself

I've attached an Adrian Street classic to discuss as record of the week....we'll have a laugh.Subjects for the chat 1.Boris is out but we had to wait to find out because of Wimbledon...which was far more interesting. 2.Wonderful Wimbledon....however perhaps a bit of gaffer tape in the commentary box would have been an idea. 3.Upskirting and Downblousing....the ladies are not happy.....I think I have the answer. 4.Evolution Records who I was signed up to thanks to your mate Leapy Lee. The record of the week is one I wrote and produced for Adrian Street entitled "Imagine What I Could Do To You"....which was the song he entered the ring to.

Wimbledon....doing well at last despite a bumpy start with Murray and Raducanu Mo Salah has signed up for Liverpool for another 3 years......and only gets 350 grand a WEEK.....a joke or what. The Captain Tom charity money has come under investigation.....so in pile the media as usual The media keep referring to "experts" when coming up with global warming or various medical issues......we never seem to find out who these "experts" are....I wonder why. More sporting news!!!.....a Welsh rug by team went to Cape Town to play a match and their bags didn't arrive....shock horror....and they had to train in their stocking feet!!....and THIS was NEWS.....have the media got rugby mixed up with ballet dancing? Steve Wright has been replaced on Radio 2 by Scott Mills because the boss (a woman) wants changes.....I think radio has had its day. I watched the whole of McCartney on Glastonbury......brilliant. I have to laugh when I see music producers being interviewed behind a huge 20 foot long mixer desk.......the song this week is one I composed arranged and produced on a computer screen...it is entitled "Wirral Wonderland"

Hi Vince....I have attached the song for the end chat about the Finland gig......it is "The Story of Skiffle" by "Skiffle" John Lomax..which I wrote and produced for him.....this is the version which got us the gig...... 1.The train strikes and the one sided biassed reporting 2.In parts of Spain it is now illegal to pee in the sea..... enforcement should be interesting. 3.Complaints about Facebook accepting "upskirting" 4.Idiots who do and say stupid things are not the problem... the problem is the media for giving them publicity....obviously REAL problems are not news. 5.The Glastonbury Festival is getting full coverage which I have managed to avoid.....modern music has lost its way. 6.Strange things which happened on a gig I once did in Finland.....which includes this week's song selection "The Story of Skiffle"

Heatwave Alert for The Wirral Peninsula with Don's Song The two day heatwave has put us all on full alert with instructions as to how to handle it and the fear of draughts or floods....not forgetting how to apply suncream.....yep our few days of Summer has arrived......... all carried out from the new £5 million pound BBC studio. England cricketers have restored my interest in the game...whereas the footballers have removed what little interest I had in the game. Tyson Fury is going to tour around helping people with their mental health showing what a great bloke he is. I must mention a day at the races with Prince Charles and Camilla parading around in the royal horse and cart.....someone should have a word with his royal highness regarding the hideous top hat. I watched a fascinating programme on films which go horribly wrong featuring ,among many, Rachael Welch as a BLOKE....and The Life Of Brian..... The mis-use of "I" and "me" will be explained. The song this week is one I wrote and produced which paints a musical portrait of my favourite place....The Wirral Peninsula.....

The Shortest Song in the World Don Woods 12th June 2022 Complaints about the coverage of the Jubilee Complaints about little Prince George's behaviour Petrol prices still on the rise but apparently Boris's Xmas party is still more important Cliff Richard pushing for new laws to protect those accused of sexual offences until after the case....go Cliff! !It is now DOCTOR Sir Ringo A move to issue fines to New Zealand farmers for the release of methane from their sheep and cows The week's worst record selection..... The Shortest Song In The World....by Duncan Reid and The Big Heads

1.The Queen's Jubilee 2.Archbishop of Canterbury asking whether we should be more forgiving....and mentioning Prince Andrew 3.Is it right that prisoners should be shouted at? 4.Wrexham's failed bid to be the Capital of Culture....which was won by Bradford. 5.Should we go back to imperial measurement instead of metric? 6.My answers to cancelled flights and overpriced eating and drinking out. 7.Modern dance music belongs in night clubs not on "mature" radio.....an example is a song I had to suffer on my car radio on a recent long drive.....I switched the radio off after a few minutes ...I would suggest you do the same....the song is "I'm in love with your body"....by Ed Sheeran.......the record has zero production and I've estimated must have cost about 2 quid to make.....I would like to suggest this as my weekly worst record choice.....I know millions would disagree as he is very popular...I might have liked him when I was 13....but probably not.

After facing the pandemonium of cancelled flights and police tear gas outside the stadium the Liverpool fans were left with a hard to to take defeat in the Euro final.....some even hired a speedboat to get there....a bit of a damp squib to end the season on with a game they tactically should have won...and would have done had the Spanish goalie not played a blinder. Boris and his Christmas party is still headline news....will we ever move on?.....and there's nothing more annoying than someone shouting to the Prime Minister as he walks to his car "Are you going to resign Prime Minister?"....which Boris rightly ignores.....and it would make a nice change if the Labour Party actually came up with something constructive instead of constantly criticising the Government. Also the horrific shooting of school kids in America has had blanket coverage on the news.....it is difficult for people who live in countries where guns are illegal to comprehend the American viewpoint. The rolling headlines underneath the BBC News bulletins went slightly wrong.....they were (apparently) training someone on how it's done and he typed in "Manchester United are rubbish" which accidentally came up on the screen as the news was being read......the BBC have apologised. I watched documentary on the 40 years of ABBA since they packed up....very interesting and quite tragic in parts.Prices of everything continue to rise for no real apparent reason....a pal of mine uses a car wash each week and the cost has gone up by £4......."because they can't get the chemicals".....soap and water isn't it?....and with cups of tea costing at least £2.50 it is cheaper to drink Diesel..... This week's worst song selection....They're Coming to Take Me Away Ha Ha.....by Sloppy Jane....almost as bad as Yoko Ono. Sloppy Jane is an American avant-garde rock band fronted by Haley Dahl. The band released their breakthrough second studio album Madison in 2021, through Saddest Factory Records, an imprint owned by their former bassist Phoebe Bridgers. Dahl is known for her eccentric performance art style which sometimes includes nudity

Hi Vince....here's this week's subjects....the song was a good find...I remember it well. you will find it on Spotify or YouTube ...BUT make sure it is by Dina Garipova as there are a few different songs with the same title......."What If" by Dina Garipova. Packaging.....why is everything you buy so hard to open without a road drill? The footballer coming out as gay has hit the news....this aint news...who cares?...on his money he should learn to ignore abuse from morons. Prince William and the national anthem was booed at the cup final.....and as always the small handful of boneheads get maximum publicity from the media who continue to scrape the barrel for "news". And still on the Royalty front...Charles and Camilla will be appearing in East Enders which defies comment. The 4 hours of the Eurovision also received another shed load on the news which brought in many complaints to the BBC who as usual "felt they got it right" Along with Speke Airport becoming The John Lennon Airport we now have a ferry terminal on the Mersey being named The Gerry Marsden Terminal....what next the Ringo Star Yellow Submarine....sorry...SIR Ringo. The couple who won 180 million on the lottery have been squirting champagne everywhere on the news.....big mistake in my opinion.

I watched the FA Cup final which is a couple of hours I wont get back....I've seen better games in the local park .I had one too many pints during the Cup Final (to ease the boredom) and fell asleep during the Eurovision Song Contest....I woke up at the start of the results with Graham Norton talking over the presenters....someone should have put a gag on him.....I was glad that Ukraine won which showed that the world are behind them.....we came second which made a change. Kier Stermer's pathetic attempt at "integrity"was a joke and an insult to our intelligence. Prince Charles carrying out the Queen's Speech with a ton of medals on his tunic and a massive sword he had to keep off the ground....he looked like a cartoon. A potrait of Marilyn Monroe by Andy Waholwhich has sold for 195 million dollars....I think the expression is "more money than sense" There is a new format of "The Chase" which is well past it's sell by date.....so Bradley is still everywhere you look.Packaging.....some things are impossible to get into without a road drill. This week's bad record is one from the distant past.....it's by Frank Ifield who had three consecutive number ones back in the day....however although this song was a hit the more you hear it the more irritating it gets......it is called "She Taught Me To Yodel" by Frank Ifield.

We have just been subjected to the local elections with blanket TV coverage....personally I couldn't be less interested.....with BBC reporters being sent all over the country by planes and trains to do interviews in the street....well worth my licence fee.....I don't think. Then we have the big build up to Susanna Reid interviewing Boris `Johnson....which is the first interview he has done on ITV in 5 years....I switched it off half way through.....the only way it could have been worse was if Piers Morgan had interviewed him. After Kier Starmer has been going on and on and on about the Boris Xmas party....he is now being investigated for a similar "offence" a year ago.....and THIS is news.....it's like a bunch of school kids. I'm delighted for BP and Shell after they announced the billions they have made in profits....of course they have made billions...they have been ripping us off for years.....the rich get richer......diesel is £1.74 a litre which in real terms is £7 a gallon....it's a joke. And on the subject of rip offs....there has been many complaints from football fans over the price of tickets....apparently you can pay 100 quid to watch the cup final at Wembley....which doesn't include your travel etc....OR you can watch it on the telly for nothing.....I understand the overpowering loyalty of fans but to me it's just a football match...that's all....and you are not FORCED into being ripped off.......the answer is simple...don't go...and watch the prices amazingly come down. Prince Charles has been briefly appearing on the news at various events.....someone should tell his royal highness that the big brown overcoat he wears is not cool.....it belongs in world war 1.......and we understand that Harry and Andrew will not be appearing on the royal balcony as they are no longer members of the family....or something. Worst record of the week features Jess Conrad's Bad Jumper

The recent dry weather will cause possible problems....forest fires...draught etc etc......same thing at the same time every year. Boris Becker is off to jail because of undeclared assets....Bankrupt Boris has got 2 years.....the price of fame .Porn in Parliament...M.P. Neil Parish has been a naughty boy....or so it seems. A D.J. called Westwood who works on Capital Radio (I think) has been accused of sexual misbehaviour by a few women which he has strenuously denied....but of course he must be guilty because the media say so.......yet another witch hunt And more job justification....some nameless genius has come up with an idea to stop child obesity....apparently a suggestion has been made to take sugary breakfast cereals off the front of the shelves in supermarkets....because they obviously "force" shoppers to buy them....so Frosties have to go to the back of the shelf.....this has gone down well with the manufacturers of these products as you can imagine .Who killed Freddie Mills?....a very interesting documentary I watched recently. There has been an increase in the number of cubs and scouts and youngsters are having a good time....many years ago I was commissioned to write a song about the scout movement which actually began in one of our local parks..Arrowe Park....so I came up with "Scouts Of The World" and got my then 8 year old son to sing it (he is now 43).....I eventually sent it to the Scout Association who took it on......recently I got an Email from a local scout group asking me if they could sing it at a local jamboree....so I would like to feature it in this weeks music spot....Scouts of The World...sung by Stephen Woods

The news is still going on about Boris Johnson's Xmas party.....all this is doing now is giving no mark M.P.s the opportunity to get their faces on TV all saying the same thing with none of them coming up with any alternative solutions.....definitely time to MOVE ON. The easiest job in the world is be a critic or a football pundit....we have professional film critics who grace us with their opinions....and pundits who sit round a table and discuss a match we have just watched....and get highly paid for doing so....talk about easy money.....and this comes out of our TV licence....which will no doubt soon go up because of the shortage of oil or something equally as stupid. Main roads are being altered to include wide cycle lanes.....how long before the accidents start?....not to mention idiots on electric bikes. The local council's latest brilliant idea is to increase the charge of emptying your garden waste bin from 35 pounds to 50 pounds a year which hasn't gone down too well with our ratepayers.....as the said bins are only emptied every two weeks and don't require emptying during the winter.... are they having a laugh.......what will obviously happen is folk will fly tip their grass all over the place.....the council complain that they are short of money...try checking out the salaries of some of the bosses who are surplus to requirements. We have a terrible war going on but 17 minutes of space is required on the BBC News to watch Johnny Depp mumbling away in court with his marital problems...WHO CARES?............... put him on my list.I watched another episode of the Jimmy Saville scandal......which left me totally baffled......he walks around with this huge cigar in his mouth....takes it out and mutters a load of nonsense...and shoves it back in his mouth....they could find no evidence of his alleged sexual misconduct until he died....then we get 400 accusers coming out of the woodwork.....to me the bloke was a total nut case. A film called "The Magnet" has recently been on the telly....it was made in 1951 and stars James `Fox as a young lad and was filmed in and around Wallasey on Merseyside where I was born......it was fascinating to see how the area has changed since I was a six year old.....great film. This week...for a change...instead of choosing some of the worst records ever made I would like to treat you to the best instrumental ever made....it dates back to the fifties and I still never tire of hearing it....a masterpiece....it is by The Ventures and is called "Walk Don't Run"......

The John Leslie trials by media.....Leslie was found innocent of any sexual wrongdoing after past accusations from various women,,,yet no-one seems to stand trial for these false accusations after ruining his life. ....... I watched a documentary on Kathy Kirby....she was a big star back in the day but became a victim of fame. Vince's Interview re Kathy.. 7. This week's bad record. "Didn't He Do Well" by Bruce Forsyth...Brucie was a very talented showbiz personality but should have avoided this song.

Harry Biilinge...D-Day survivor sadly passed away aged 96...spent his life raising money for a D-Day monument on the Normandy coast....a great man and a REAL knight of the realm. 2.Kinder eggs have been recalled over a salmonella scare....just in time for Easter 3.The multi talentless Ant and Dec have won ANOTHER BAFTA for their Sa'aday Night tirkawir...which says it all. 4.Will Smith is still making the news as he has been given a 10 year ban from the Oscars;...who cares?...I only wish it had been Tyson Fury on the end of his slap....that would have been worth watching....no more red carpet for him. 5.The Grand National is in town....I can't control my excitement 6.If you play Monty Listers jingle about all the places he has been I can give you some anecdotes of some of my adventures with him. 7 .Worst ever song by Peter Cook is Lovely Lady of the roses

1. Eco Activists and the guy who stuck his hand to the radio studio mic 2. Fake Everton Replica Shirts! 3. Holiday 'getaway' trafffic jams......how do we enjoy sitting in traffic jams? 4. BBC Giving away Plastic Toys with their publications 5 The Boat Race-How exciting is that? Hundreds of spectators gathered under sunny skies along the River Thames in London for the annual university boat race, as weather forecasters predicted a 'fine Sunday' following a noticeably chilly start to April. ............... 6. Urban Seagulls. 7. The Story of one of Don's Jingles. This week....What Have I got in my Hand? 8. We discuss the life and times of a great Welsh singer called David Alexander and this takes us nicely to Wales, singing and the story of Coal in the UK. Great song this week by David Alexander called The Working Man

Hi Vince....here's some topics for Monday....I've included some of the stuff lost in the clouds last week Items for discussion The P & O sackings with one days notice have been headline news Gareth Bale being heavily criticised for making more effort playing for his country than he did playing for his Spanish team....and his re-action....(Back in the day Jasper Carrot had the answer to HIS critics) Rock Til We Drop ...the final at the Isle of Wight Festival with local lad Arty Davies The documentary on Tom Jones at 80 The documentary on John Lennon called Imagine Bill Wyman's marriage and selection of relatives he acquired. Worst record spot....It's Gonna Rain by Yoko Ono....pass me those ear plugs

Hi Vince here's a few subjects to chew over....I've got some good input. First the blanket coverage of the war is getting criticised.....and the showing of information which would be of use to the Russians .The P & O fiasco with the sacking of 800 employees without notice The ridiculous price of petrol and beer....rip offs only last a short time Two TV programmes ....Tom Jones at 80.....John Lennon Imagine Michael Portillo's railway journey to Holyhead. Bill Wyman's past wedding. Us older folk complain a lot about modern music.....however this is an example of what we had back then.....The Bee Song by Arthur Askey.

The TV Programme "Rock Til We Drop" which features selection of musicians between the ages of 65 to 85 chosen to form a band to perform at the Isle of Wight Festival. Dodgy children's programmes from the past....e.g. Captain Puigwash....how did they get away with it? Cookery programmes.....and the ridiculous "presentation" of food.....and the price of a pint is more than my first weekly pay packet. Price of private dental check ups A recent item on the unbelievable conditions Miners had to work under back in the day...and we go on about slavery. Charles Darwin's birthplace in Shrewsbury....fascinating. Tina Turner concert in 2000....as good as it gets....the best concert I have ever seen...and on the exact opposite of the spectrum...."Please Please Please Let me get what I want" sung by Morrisey. and The Smiths...a perfect example of a decent band who definitely need a replacement singer.

@donwoods and @vincetracy discussed #ShaneWarne #Cricket #JimLaker #Athletics #Education #Sport #Philosophy #Wirral #Wallasey #School #SirRogerBannister #SebastianCoe #Music #Bands #Groups #SpandauBallet #TheFloralPavilion #RalphMcTell #Cornwall

Don joins Vince to discuss the dangerous political scenario #BBC #ITV #television #news #weather #TheChase #TippingPoint #EuropeanSongContest #Antiques #DavidBowie #TheLaughingGnome

Storm Dudley and Storm Eunice filled 20 minutes of the news with their usual scaremongering. Then we have Prince Andrews "settlement" with the girl he has never met....I hope they check whether all those millions go to charity and not into the poor "abused" young lady's purse Then we have Charles whose charity is under investigation regarding "cash for honours".....I can't see the problem if the cash goes to his charity. Tom Daley has run and cycled all over the place "for charity"....what is the point? I remember real storms when we were joined buy the tide at a local gig back in 1980. The Winter Olympics.has not exactly been successful for the U.K. athletes....but it's O.K....it only cost 24 million to get them out there. This week I would like to discuss a song from back in the 50s and why I think it is a classic compared to a lot of the stuff we have had to endure since....the song is "Lipstick on your collar" by Connie Francis....I will explain why this song fills all the boxes of greatness.

Don's favourite record of all time ......I feel there's more to this than meets the eye!

@donwoods and @vincw tracy discussed #boris #cycling #awimming #petrol #bbc #cheekygirls

The record I would like to discuss this week is the Elvis classic...Jailhouse Rock......the record still holds up today.and considering there are only 4 musicians backing Elvis it makes this a masterpiece......the temptation to write this song in a country style must have been hard to resist but whoever came up with the the guitar work and the drum breaks makes this, for me,one of the best rock and roll records ever.and also lyrically brilliant.

On the continuing Djocovic saga....I believe old Novak intends to sue the Australian government.....you couldn't make it up....good luck with that one.......and even worse ..because some people are deeply offended (mainly those under 5 feet) by the sweet we have always known as "Midget Gems" the name has been changed to "small gems" or something....which reminds me of a chip shop in Liverpool when the authorities told them that because their hamburgers didn't contain ham they were mis- described...they were in fact savoury rings.....so the shop put up a huge notice outside saying "our hamburgers are now savoury rings"....that's why we love Liverpool............ I have been going on for weeks about records I can't stand so this week for a change I would like to feature my favourite record of all time....I have loved this song since I was a kid....and despite my rock and roll and jazz roots this song has always remained top of my list....and it is sung in French.....the orchestration and melody make it,for me,a masterpiece......it is the original version of La Mer by Charles Trenet...the fact I don't speak French makes no difference but I know the song is describing the sea......it was recorded in 1946 without all the modern recording facilities which makes it the classic it is.

Here is the Agenda set by Don for this week's chat.... 1.The Tory Party Party.....the witch hunt is on...with the BBC leading from the gutter. 2.The Novac Djocovic Saga 3.Andrew...the artist formerly known as Prince 4.The Chester football ground which is in England AND Wales 5.Celebs who are too "important" to endure being interviewed. 6.The new ferry terminal named after Gerry Marsden 7.Back in the day the BBC refused to play Agadoo by Black Lace as they regarded it as "not credible"....the fact it topped the charts everywhere displays the knowledge of our wonderful Beeb. 7.Worst record ever section.....The Ying Tong Song by The Goons

The recent news headlines feature Novak Djokovic ... will he or wont he be allowed to defend his title in the Australian open?....the coverage includes his fans protesting in the streets as to the announcement by the authorities that he has not complied with the covid regulations.....and this is HEADLINE news....I am a tennis fan and an admirer of Novak's talent but IT'S A GAME OF TENNIS....that's all....it belongs in the sport section at the end of the news....not in the headlines....there's far more important stuff going on in the world. Then we are told that energy prices are going to increase by 50% and this will seriously affect the lower paid....with scaremongering headlines like "Heating or Eating?"...which really helps the situation....what we don't seem to have been told is WHY....or have I missed something.....it's a good job you can't buy boxes of energy from Tescos otherwise you would see our nation of sheep with their supermarket trollies piled high with these boxes of energy.....I don't suppose it's anything to do with money?...not much. Another piece of "news" was regarding the gay Irish bloke who wanted a wedding cake made for him and his future "husband"...he wanted a cake with the two of them set in the icing on the top.....the cake shop refused to make it because of their religious beliefs....so the Irish guy considered he was being discriminated against.....it gets better....he took the cake shop to court and lost the case ....so he took it to a tribunal and lost the case again....he is considering taking it to the human rights lot and hopefully he will lose that case......you couldn't make this up....where the shop went wrong was mentioning "religious beliefs" they should have just refused to do it full stop....what people don't understand is a sale is a contract where there has to be an offer and an acceptance......the offer is made by the buyer not the seller.....if the latter refuses, which he is entitled to do, there is no contract......putting items on display is not an offer it is known as an "invitation to treat" which invites the buyer to make an offer which the seller can either accept or refuse....case closed. On the entertainment front I decided to watch the new series of The Apprentice with Lord Sugar making his many over the top entrances into the boardroom to a shower of young hopefuls ... each one convinced they are the ones to make a fortune.....I must admit it is quite entertaining....and it's always good to see some over confident whiz kid get shot down in flames.......his Lordship sets them some nasty tasks and must be laughing his socks off when he watches it back.....nice to find something that is worth watching on the television. I was listening to the radio in my car and a song came on by Leona Lewis....what a fantastic voice...for me she is the most under rated singer around....she is up there with the best....which brings me to the other end of the scale............. This weeks "one of the worst records ever made " spot features, once again,Yoko Ono......it is called War Zone.....there's not a lot you can say about it really.....it is beyond me.....maybe it's me....maybe it's a masterpiece?.....maybe not.

First off...happy new year....I thought I might have to call you "Sir" Vince but I noticed you never made the Queen's honours list.....so you can't join Knights of the Realm like Sir Cliff...Sir Ringo...Sir Van Morrison....or Sir Tony Blair and even more hard to believe Sir Ashley Banjo ....maybe next year....I would suggest you latch on to an act which will definitely end up being knighted.....Ant,Dec and Vince? ....For the "one of the worst records ever made" spot this week I have nominated the destruction of the song "My Way" by The Sex Pistols......it is over 4 minutes long so I suggest fading it out after one minute if you can stand it for that song.

I enjoyed the link you sent me with the Jet Harris interview.....I didn't know he was the first to use a Fender electric bass guitar....good stuff...I met Jet when I was working on Radio Merseyside....and we had a few pints in the local ....before he went tee total....and chatted about his adventures with The Shadows and I got some interesting inside info... he really was a nice fella and like most of those who have been there he was very humble.....a sad loss. I watched a programme on ABBA....it's hard to believe how good they were....I can't remember them making a bad record....and they made most of them in several languages....and I also watched the 2017 E.L.O. concert in Wembley arena.....mind blowing.....I know you are a big Beatles fan mate....you can have 'em......no comparison......and needless to say we have none stop Christmas records on various channels on the telly....I can't REALLY complain because back in the day I wrote a Christmas musical for Radio City which contained six Christmas songs....I wrote the script and all the songs and it was broadcast on Christmas Day.......the two members of the station involved changed the names of the two main characters which they felt gave them the right to regard themselves as the writers.....but that's another story....the play was nominated for a Sony Award and was performed by several local schools....I also wrote another two Xmas musicals which again several local schools performed......so all in all I have written 18 Christmas songs....plus a few others....so I had better not criticise those we hear every year. Still on the music scene Channel 5 have a weekly look at the best selling records of the 70s....this week was 1979....it is a fascinating programme which counts down the 30 best sellers and gives the background to the songs with the likes of Brian Ferry,Queen and Michael Jackson who was really good looking back then before he altered his face....not sure why......I've watched the whole series and must applaud Channel 5 for a great programme...and surprisingly enough Bradley Walsh wasn't on it. I recently came across a magazine article about my chance meeting with wrestler Adrian Street which led to me writing and producing two albums of wrestling songs for him.....which involved me going to The States and appearing on TV with him....we became great friends and are still in touch.....the albums have recently been re-released by an American company and can be downloaded from the internet....the songs keep coming back to haunt me...with titles like "Violence is Golden"..."Merchant of Menace" and "I'm In Love With Me"...it is hardly surprising.....I could write a book on my adventures we had in Florida but no-one would believe it. So this week I would like to feature a song which I was told by a major label that the world would never be ready for....they were NOT impressed......it was one I composed for Adrian Street which he used to enter the ring to.....it ended up in a movie called "Grunt-The Wrestling Movie" and also on MTV in the States.....so the song which the world would never be ready for paid off my mortgage......it is entitled "Imagine What I Could Do To You"

Still on the music scene Channel 5 have a weekly look at the best selling records of the 70s....this week was 1979....it is a fascinating programme which counts down the 30 best sellers and gives the background to the songs with the likes of Brian Ferry,Queen and Michael Jackson who was really good looking back then before he altered his face....not sure why......I've watched the whole series and must applaud Channel 5 for a great programme...and surprisingly enough Bradley Walsh wasn't on it. I recently came across a magazine article about my chance meeting with wrestler Adrian Street which led to me writing and producing two albums of wrestling songs for him.....which involved me going to The States and appearing on TV with him....we became great friends and are still in touch.....the albums have recently been re-released by an American company and can be downloaded from the internet....the songs keep coming back to haunt me...with titles like "Violence is Golden"..."Merchant of Menace" and "I'm In Love With Me"...it is hardly surprising.....I could write a book on my adventures we had in Florida but no-one would believe it. So this week I would like to feature a song which I was told by a major label that the world would never be ready for....they were NOT impressed......it was one I composed for Adrian Street which he used to enter the ring to.....it ended up in a movie called "Grunt-The Wrestling Movie" and also on MTV in the States.....so the song which the world would never be ready for paid off my mortgage......it is entitled "Imagine What I Could Do To You"

Back in the day we were subjected to a weird character called Tiny Tim....who with his squeaky voice actually made many appearances on TV....how- I don't know....he was TERRIBLE!!!....so this week's "one of the worst records ever made" spot features his minor hit "Tip Toe Through the Tulips".....BUT this isn't the worst record he ever made....oh no....the worst record he ever made...or ANYONE ever made was entitled "Santa Clause has got the AIDS this year"......and is so bad and in such bad taste that it doesn't deserve any airplay whatsoever.....needless to say Tiny Tim's career eventually ground to a halt thank goodness....so here he is singing the load of garbage entitled Tip Toe Through The Tulips.

...... O.K.......it's time for this weeks "one of the worst records ever made" spot.....no...not Mull of Kintyre....but close........it features my least favourite group in the world...The Smiths........it is called "This Charming Man" and it sounds like the band has laid down a backing track and Morrisey has come along and sung to a different tune....and I think the bass player is on speed......even talking about this record is hard work never mind listening to it so here it is....This Charming Man by The Smiths..

On the showbiz front there is a film out about The Beatles. I think it's called "Get Back" and shows unseen footage of them in the recording studio.....I don't know what channel it is on and quite frankly I don't want to know....WE"VE SEEN IT ALL......apparently the film has received mixed reviews.....John and Paul chatting to each other.doesn't seem to be of much interest to some. The recent heavy storms...apart from destroying my back gate....have created a historic moment in television history.....because of the imminent danger an episode of "I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here" had to be recorded.....and wasn't LIVE... for the first time ever....now correct me if I'm wrong but the programme takes place inside a Welsh castle....which was built back in history to survive attacks by multitudes of armies....what I can't understand is what dangers a selection of gusty winds presents?.....out of interest I watched the recorded episode.....this programme has to be at the very very bottom of the entertainment barrel......it is totally pointless....we have a selection of famous celebrities such as Swoochy Shy and Naughty Boy (WHO?) all sitting in a circle around a campfire talking crap and waiting for one of the contestants to return from laying among a selection of rats and creepy crawlies whilst trying to find hidden stars.....which lead to meals for the campmates....it is like watching paint dry.....made even worse, if that is possible, by the occasional appearance of the multi talentless Ant and Dec....who come on...fluff their lines...and vanish..........I kept watching it because I thought it can only get better....WRONG!!......that is one hour and a half I will never get back. At least Channel 5 have something worth watching.....it is a weekly look at the best top selling records of the 70's........each week they cover a different year and it is really interesting as they give us the inside stories behind the records....the programme is brilliantly produced and is compulsive viewing as opposed to a bunch of nobodies sitting around a drafty castle.....and it is interesting seeing those stars of the past as they look now........it shows that decent interesting programmes can actually be made instead of throwing cookery programmes and soaps at us.....the BBC are probably the worst....probably because of the arrogant overpaid higher archy who refuse to see further than the end of their noses. This week's "one of the worst records ever made" spot defies description......it is performed by Bernard Bresslaw who should not have been allowed within 10 miles of a recording studio.....there is absolutely nothing positive I can say about this record it is so bad....yet I would rather listen to this than watch I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here........it is called Mad Passionate Love by Bernard Bresslaw.

Cricket is making headline news....certainly not for the excitement of the game but for racist remarks made over the years to whingeing pathetic so called sportsmen.....first we have Yorkshire player Azeem Rafiq so deeply hurt by racial remarks that it ruined his career.....only to be found to have made racial remarks about the Jewish faith himself on social media 10 years ago.....for which he has apologised....so that's O.K. then...what a hypocrite......................then we have the Australian player who blacked his face at a fancy dress party 9 YEARS AGO!.....he has strongly apologised for this.....why I don't know....was anybody injured?........mind you cricket does need something of interest to talk about because it is so boring....these so called sportsmen need to get a life. Then we have a woman who has complained that she was "inappropriately touched" by Boris Johnson's dad.....10 YEARS AGO....apparently he tapped her bottom and told her she had a nice seat......obviously this has mentally scarred her for life and obviously affected her brain as she has only just remembered the horrendous incident 10 years later....I wonder if she still has the terrible bruises this violent attack caused.....I'm waiting for the male cast of all the Carry On films to be asked to apologise for their behaviour.......mind you these films were in the days when comedy was funny and everyone enjoyed them before some of the female population and some male creeps decided that anything funny was offensive. I recently watched an old episode of Fawlty Towers where Basil kept accidentally groping a young lady every time sybil walked in....and was I deeply offended?...er...no....because I was too busy laughing at this classic comedy masterpiece....it wont be long before we will have to apologise for actually watching this disgraceful brilliant comedy.....and heaven help us if anyone hears us laughing!! The HS2 project has also been on the news as those responsible have decided to scrap the bit from Birmingham to Leeds.....not that this will affect me in any way but I heard a mention of the cost of this, in my opinion,pointless project......100 BILLION pounds....yes BILLION......to give you an idea of what a billion is...if you were to place a pound coin on the floor and add a billion more alongside forming an unbreakable line....that line would stretch from England to New Zealand.......without any gaps between the coins.....just saying...........well worth the money to save 20 minutes on a train journey? There has been a bit of a controversy on the news regarding school uniforms whereby a school blazer with the badge etched on can cost 50 quid........and some schools require the uniforms to be purchased from specialist shops so Primark is out.....BUT there is a move afoot where you may be allowed to buy the blazer anywhere an d buy the badge separately thus saving a lot of money.....but sadly this will stop the "specialist"shops ripping off the customers and making a fortune....how awful. On the music scene Adele has been on TV pushing her latest album.....she is very popular but I'm afraid I don't get her....her latest release is a durge.....just my opinion....while I'm still allowed to have one........and I watched a documentary on The Beach Boys....back in the sixties I was a huge fan of the band with their great harmonies and surfing songs but I thought they totally lost their way when they brought out the Pet Sounds album which I bought and hated....this documentary did nothing to change my mind...they should have stuck to songs about the beach which is what they were designed for. Finally for my "one of the worst records ever" spot I would like to feature one of our 60's pop stars...Vince Eager.....the song is called "The World's Lonliest Man" and I'm not sure what the drummer was hitting the drums with....I dread to think......with Vince's quivery voice, which is occasionally in tune,.... I can't find anything positive to say about this record which is probably why he is in fact The World's Loneliest Man .

As we have just had remembrance day where our fallen soldiers are remembered I thought I would give a mention to the National Remembrance Arboretum in Staffordshire....which I have visited twice.....it is the ultimate tribute to the heroic men and women who have given their lives for their country and is deeply moving....it's hard to take in the numbers of names in the rows and rows of tributes around the huge area of the park......such a terrible waste of young lives and the grief resulting from this is unimaginable. Right let's go.....the cricket fraternity is still under fire for racial remarks in the past to those poor hard done to overpaid professional cricketers who obviously don't like being called names....so let's have a reality check....cricket is BORING....probably the most boring of all sports and I would think very few people give a monkeys whether some wimp has been upset because he didn't like something someone said....are they incapable of answering back?....GET OVER YOURSELVES.... There is a young chap who presents the weather forecast on the BBC....his name is Owain Evans.....he is Welsh and a total delight with his selection of colourful,suits......he is impossible to watch without smiling......what I didn't know was he is a drummer and he has just completed a 24 hour drum session in aid of Children In Need......and raised 1.6 million pounds for the charity....I have to salute this fella....he is an absolute star. On the political front the Save The Planet Show in Scotland has come to and end.....that's about all I can say because I still don't know what it was all about.....so that is my input.....thank you. Now it's time for my one of the worst records ever made spot......this one is very bad and is beyond description which is very strange because it is by one of biggest stars .....David Bowie.....this was the first record he made before creating his many images such as a spider from Mars etc.......the song is called "The Laughing Gnome"......unbelievably by David Bowie.

@DonWoods weekly news rant then.....During the climate change show up in Scotland....which is blanket news at the moment.....before I had the chance to switch it off I was subjected to the effect on the world by planting trees.....which to me is about as interesting as Scottish football.....one chap was telling us that the trees absorb carbon dioxide so the more trees we have the better....another bloke came on and told us that when trees die all the carbon dioxide it has absorbed is released back into the atmosphere so the more trees we have is not a good thing.....just before I switched the TV off I slowly gazed up to see this wonderful information drifting over my head...............were it not for these scientific gatherings on our pathetic news programmes you would never ever hear or see the "experts" they feature....they should incorporate this tripe into the X Factor.......which is about the same level.....it's a wonder Ant and Dec aren't up in Scotland presenting the nonsense. Then there is "Newswatch" which gives the viewers the opportunity to criticise the BBC news.....this week questions were asked by the public as to why Huw Edwards had to report,from Scotland,on the Climate Change Show and why could he not link up from London with reporters who were already there?....and how much is it costing the licence fee payer to needlessly send him there........of course we then have a BBC representative who comes on with the explanation.....now this was really clever....he was apparently speaking from a studio somewhere and I think his microphone was made from Leggo......I couldn't understand a word he said....so I wound it back and put the subtitles on.......which displayed sentences containing the word "inaudible".....it was certainly a novel way to get out of answering a simple question...... O.K. now it's time for my "one of the worst records ever made" spot......I have tried and tried but I failed to find anything worse than this one...AGAIN it features Charlie Drake who makes his third appearance on this podcast....which is brilliant as he only made three records.....it is called Mr.Custer and words fail me when I try to describe this song.....so here it is Mr. Custer "sung" by Charlie Drake.