Living From Happiness

Yes, it's possible to live well while holding our grief and sorrow for what's been lost, and knowing that we are simply mortal beings.   And Martha Crawford is the perfect guest to share some big ideas and deeply personal experiences in this episode of Living From Happiness.    Martha earned a master's degree in social work, followed by an advanced certificate in clinical social work from NYU. After working for 25 years in New York City, she relocated to Santa Fe just in time to hunker down when the pandemic took over the world.   In 2016, she was diagnosed with a unique, unstageable, unprognosable cancer that transformed and reshaped her vocational goals, capacities and priorities.   Martha now works as a mentor, teacher, writer, coach, psycho-spiritual director and as a group and workshop facilitator.   This fascinating conversation ranges from archetypal and depth psychologies (curious about the Mad King and Dangerous Buffoon?) to the collective stressors we're all facing these days.   “Privilege is eroding.” “We're living in the crack between worlds.” “Our problems are collective.” These are just a few of the provocative ideas from Martha Crawford.   It's a big-brain conversation you don't want to miss.   Martha Crawford's website here: https://www.whatashrinkthinks.com/   Dr. Melanie Harth is a licensed psychotherapist in Santa Fe NM working with people who've lost their way. Her website here: https://thesantafetherapist.com/

Kelsey Blackwell is a cultural somatics practitioner and author dedicated to supporting women of color to trust and follow the guidance of the body. She's a facilitator, coach, and speaker who's brought abolitionist embodied practices to such diverse groups as riders on Bay Area Rapid Transit trains to students at Stanford University to the offices of LinkedIn. She has a new book called "Decolonizing the Body: Healing, Body-Centered Practices for Women of Color to Reclaim Confidence, Dignity, and Self-Worth". Finally, Kelsey believes that working towards personal and collective liberation must also bring joy. She's one of the most thoughtful, engaging guests Melanie's had the pleasure of talking with. This is a gentle conversation about what is too often conflictual and difficult with an important young voice in the worlds of happiness and healing. Kelsey Blackwell website here: https://www.kelseyblackwell.com/ Dr. Melanie Harth website here: https://thesantafetherapist.com/.

Cheryl Alters Jamison is the Queen of New Mexico food (at least, that's what Melanie calls her)! Cheryl is a 4-time James Beard award winning cookbook author. She's published 22 cookbooks, and sold over 2 million copies.   Not one to rest for very long, she's also been voted Edible New Mexico's Local Heroes Best Food Writer award twice, is the founder of the online Excited About Foods community, a Contributing Culinary Editor for New Mexico Magazine, culinary tourism consultant, and a radio host at Hutton Broadcasting, where she has a show about food called Heating It Up.   Finally, in her spare time she leads foodie tours to Europe and exotic places like Morocco.   Some of the convo topics include food and travel and happiness, the ways in which cultures and foods are connected, the political and social power of food, how to keep going when we've lost a loved one, and yep …  … chickens.   This show is full of stories, and laughter, and a lot of living that Cheryl shares with y'all.   Finally, you've got to listen to the 2nd half, when she shares a few names of in-the-news northern New Mexico places to eat (not all of them restaurants).   Cheryl Alters Jamison website, Excited About Food, here: https://excitedaboutfood.com/   Dr. Melanie Harth, the Santa Fe Therapist website, here: https://thesantafetherapist.com/

Really! Melanie and guest Jon Baskin have a lot of fun talking about psychoanalysis in this episode.   Things like what it is, why there are so many negative biases against it (at least on Melanie's part), and what motivated Jon to become a candidate psychoanalyst-in-training at the Chicago Psychoanalytic Institute.   Jon Baskin is already a seasoned psychotherapist. He's a licensed clinical social worker, completing his bachelor's degree in philosophy at UCLA along with a master's degree in social welfare, also at UCLA.   Over the course of his career, he's worked with children with neurodevelopmental disabilities; military service members, veterans, and their families; first responders; education and mental health professionals; teenagers and young adults; and those experiencing crises related to severe psychological distress.   Jon's a warm, compassionate, engaging guest who's articulate about a sometimes confusing psychotherapeutic modality.   The prominent psychoanalytic therapist, Jonathan Shedler, shares this sort-of description about how it works:   "Our patients recreate their problematic relationship patterns with us in the therapy relationship. Our unavoidable participation in these patterns provides a crucial window into their inner worlds.   “Our unexpected participation in our patients' problematic relational patterns necessarily stirs up difficult feelings for us. It is not a question of if we experience difficult feelings but of whether or not we can use them constructively, as a source of understanding.”   Come along with Melanie as she learns more about psychoanalysis in this light-hearted (honest!) episode.   Jon Baskin's website here: https://www.baskinpsychotherapy.com   Dr. Melanie Harth's website here: https://thesantafetherapist.com     The Santa Fe Therapist   I'm Melanie, and I love helping people who are ready to work with a trauma therapist.    In balancing the science of therapy with the art of healing, I'll create an innovative program for you that sets you on a path of success from the very first session.   My compassionate, creative approach weaves together my ability to hear below the surface of the words, advanced degrees, years of specialized training, professional experience, and my own healing around trauma.   I use the latest neuroscience findings as I combine Western systems, Eastern wisdom, Earth-based practices, as well as creative, innovative ideas to help you process, heal and begin building your future.   My hope for you is that you'll feel safe every step of the way as you transform “I don't feel safe” into “Yes, I'm safe and well and happy.”   If you'd like a free, 15-minute phone consult, just send me an email: melanie@melanieharth.com.

This episode takes a deep dive into healing the shame of childhood sexual abuse.   National expert Beverly Engel is Melanie's guest as the two of them explore some of the many unhealthy consequences of shame. An acclaimed advocate for victims of sexual, physical, and emotional abuse, Beverly's a psychologist and best-selling author who's published 22 books, including four bestsellers on emotional abuse.   Her most recent book is Freedom at Last: Healing the Shame of Childhood Sexual Abuse.   Even though the subject matter may feel dark and heavy, the reality is that millions of people, both men and women, suffer deeply from the shame of having been sexually abused as children.   And that shame can become an insidious self-saboteur, holding you hostage, never allowing you to live a full, rich life.   There are many, often hidden, negative health consequences of having experienced childhood sexual abuse (CSA). As Beverly writes:   “CSA survivors have a significantly higher risk of medical, psychological, behavioral, interpersonal, and social difficulties. Systemic reviews have also specifically established that CSA is a risk factor for depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), dissociative patterns, sexual problems, relationship problems, sexual exploitation, intimate partner violence, suicidality, substance abuse, eating disorders, and educational difficulties. But all those effects and risk factors pale in comparison to one particular consequence of child sexual abuse—shame.”   The very good news is that there is so much hope and healing possible, which is what the focus of the show is really all about.   Bad things happen to very good people. When you understand how much can be done to heal the shame of those early childhood wounds, your life will change for the better, in ways you may not even be able to imagine at this point.   As Beverly wrote in Freedom at Last, “being reminded of your own abuse is not necessarily a negative thing. This is because many former victims are in so much denial that being reminded of what happened to them can help them get out of denial, a major problem for many former victims. The more you can face the truth about what happened to you, the healthier you can become.”   This episode takes a fearless look at the truth about what happened, and offers lots of ideas, suggestions, and evidence-based strategies to help folks begin the transformational journey of healing themselves into wholeness.   Finally, please don't expect this to be a horrible downer of a show. These two women offer wide-open, heartfelt personal experiences and professional guidance into a taboo subject that must be openly talked about. For that is where the healing lives.   Beverly Engel's website here: http://healmyshame.com/   Dr. Melanie Harth's website here: https://thesantafetherapist.com/about-santa-fe-therapist/   You don't have to suffer alone anymore. If you're struggling with the shame of childhood sexual abuse, CPTSD, or any other traumatic experience, please reach out to Melanie for a free 15-minute phone consult: melanie@melanieharth.com.

Who's the most fascinating French scientist-turned-baker in Santa Fe? It's Marcel Remillieux, of course! This is a warm, gentle, delightful conversation about all things French and food (especially the sourdough bread) and families and growing up on the island of Corsica. Marcel shares lots of stories about his family's legacy of baking, along with how he ended up as a scientist at Los Alamos National Lab for eight years. He also gets up close and personal as he shares the story of why he chose to leave the Lab and take the huge risk of opening up a cafe and creperie, first in Los Alamos, and now in Santa Fe. Marcel and Melanie have a lovely time together talking about: happiness emotional health and wellbeing French cultural traditions psychological resilience how to define success for oneself yep, sourdough bread and French baguettes Merry Happy Holidays to everyone! Mille, a French cafe and creperie in Santa Fe, website here Mille's Facebook page here Dr. Melanie Harth's website here *the phrase Joyeux Noel is the one Melanie forgot to ask Marcel to pronounce, just in case you're still wondering what it was

Melanie shares several tips for enjoying the holidays in this episode. She also highlights some of the common holiday happiness traps that can cause folks a lot of sorrow, resentment and anger.   As she says, “while almost everyone has fantastical dreams of perfect holidays that go all the way back before we were able to talk and encode explicit memories, almost as many of us are stressed, overwhelmed, sad or depressed, and can even become bitterly disappointed … every holiday season.”   There's a lot of good news, though! When you slow down and mindfully manage your holidays, you'll feel a lot better. And your beloveds will, too. (If they don't? They're not really beloveds, are they?)   Melanie also offers the latest neuroscience research findings to help you feel more ease-full and peaceful this year.   Her first tip? Don't give away your ability to choose how and with whom you spend your time. As she says, “You don't have to keep giving yourself, or your very precious time, or your emotional health and wellbeing away to ideas about how it's supposed to be, or to people who cannot see you, respect you and offer you, at the very least, kindness.   “You don't have to choose to keep on doin' the holidays the same old ways it's always been done.   “We're living in a new world. And to the extent we can accept that, even surrender to the new reality, then we've given ourselves some sacred space to begin building new rituals and ceremonies and traditions.”   Can you give yourself some sacred space and create new rituals and ceremonies and traditions that are in alignment with who you are and what you need?   As usual, Melanie doesn't shy away from talking about the difficult things that most of us would rather not think about. Things like toxic families, grieving your losses during this supposedly “HappyHappy” time, and how to navigate the season as an HSP (Highly Sensitive Person).   And she also shares that a couple of the creative ideas that showed up surprised her, including her favorite, which she's calling The Soup Circle!   She ends the show with a few poems to help sooth your nervous system and calm your weary mind, including this one entitled The Shortest Day, by Susan Cooper:   So the shortest day came, and the year died, And everywhere down the centuries of the snow-white world Came people singing, dancing, To drive the dark away. They lighted candles in the winter trees; They hung their homes with evergreen; They burned beseeching fires all night long To keep the year alive, And when the new year's sunshine blazed awake They shouted, reveling. Through all the frosty ages you can hear them Echoing behind us—Listen!! All the long echoes sing the same delight, This shortest day, As promise wakens in the sleeping land: They carol, feast, give thanks, And dearly love their friends, And hope for peace. And so do we, here, now, This year and every year. Welcome Yule!   More about Dr. Melanie Harth here: https://thesantafetherapist.com/about-santa-fe-therapist/

Silvia Stenitzer returns to the studio for this episode. Silvia's a licensed professional clinical counselor in Santa Fe. She has a private practice as a psychotherapist. And she also trains the trainers, offering continuing education workshops throughout the year for licensed counselors.   She has specialized training in some important areas, including somatic therapy and interpersonal neurobiology.   Melanie and Silvia share ideas about how to manage the holiday season when it feels overwhelming, or if you'll be spending time with toxic people, including family.   Some of the topics include how healing can happen in relationships, and that sometimes the people who drive you the most crazy can be sources to help you deepen into your evolutionary journey.   Narcissists and attachment styles are part of the discussion, as well.   Melanie shares the 5 S's, from neuroscientist and psychiatrist Dr. Daniel Siegel. The 5 S's can be helpful to use when your nervous system has been activated, and you need some help with emotional safety and emotional regulation.    The 5 S's are five fundamental needs that all humans have. They are:   “1) Be SEEN—meaning our inner life is perceived, made sense of, and responded to in a timely and effective manner. The attunement of others helps us “feel felt” in the world. 2) Be SOOTHED—meaning that our distress is noted and the interactions with others helps us to feel calmer, more at ease. This interactive soothing becomes internal soothing as we develop. 3) Be SAFE—meaning that we are protected from harm and also that those we care about are not the source of terror. This is how we come to have a sense of trust in others. 4) Be SECURE—meaning that we develop an overall internal model of solidity, enabling us to feel that in general, we are worthy of being seen, soothed, and safe and that we can rely on others for this important sense of connection. In addition, a “fifth S” might be the notion of “SENSE-making”—meaning how we rely on our interactions with others to make sense of the world. This making sense process enables us to feel a coherence between what we experience ourselves and how we are told the world actually is. With a coherent sense-making experience, we have what some researchers term, “epistemic trust.” Furthermore, Siegel says “But if your family has not in the past provided these S's of security for you or others, then this list may be helpful to keep in mind as you enter this holiday season. We have a saying that you can ‘name it to tame it,' meaning that if you name an emotional state it will help you create equilibrium in your life. If you are at the dinner table and Aunt Mary doesn't see you as you are discussing some important issues in your life, when the feeling of disconnection arises, say to yourself, with your inner voice, ‘Ah—how fascinating—agitation from not being SEEN. That's one of those S's of security, fully missing here from her reactions to me, no wonder I have this unsettling feeling of disconnection.' You may not be able to change Aunt Mary, but you can change how you understand and respond to her non-secure ways of interacting with you.   Finally, Siegel writes that you can be your own secure attachment figure. “You can see what is actually going on inside you with clarity and acceptance, you can soothe your own inner distress, you can keep yourself safe, and you can make sense of what is going on as you name it to tame it.” https://drdansiegel.com/expanding-your-holiday-hub/     Silvia Stenitzer's website here: https://silviastenitzer.com/   Dr. Melanie Harth's website here: https://thesantafetherapist.com/     Questions or comments about the show: happiness@ksfr.org.

Kimberley Brown is the guest on this episode which focuses on how to navigate grief and loss. Kim is a popular meditation teacher and author. She leads classes and workshops that emphasize the power of compassion and kindness to reconnect us to ourselves and others.   She studies in both the Tibetan and Insight schools of Buddhism and is a Certified Mindfulness Instructor.   Kim and Melanie talk all about her newest book, titled Navigating Grief and Loss: 25 Buddhist Practices to Keep Your Heart Open to Yourself and Others.   She's a lovely teacher who's written a very accessible book to help guide folks through how to feel safe feeling all of our emotions and understanding how to be compassionate and kind to ourselves, no matter what shows up.   For the truth is that this is when healing begins.   Her book chapters are titled by different kinds of losses, including sudden death, or conversely, when you know it's coming, losing a child or grandchild, if your family disappoints you, grieving for strangers, and beloved pets, among others.   One of the things that Buddhism teaches is that “everything is impermanent and death can happen at any moment, to anyone, at any age … it's the nature of life,” as Kim writes.   Further, “for us to live fully with this unsettling truth requires that we acknowledge impermanence and change, be willing to mourn loss and face grief, and meet the unexpected with gentleness rather than denial or blame.”   Kim and Melanie share ideas for how to deal with emotions such as anger, compassion, anticipatory grief, collective grief, and how to hold our grief during the holidays.   This is a lovely show, with many ideas to ponder.   Kimberly Brown's website here: https://www.meditationwithheart.com/   Dr. Melanie Harth's website here: https://thesantafetherapist.com/   Questions or suggestions: email happiness@ksfr.org     Grief Counseling in Santa Fe, NM Sadness and loss are part of being alive. And grieving our losses is part of what it means to live a rich, full life. If you're stuck in the past and can't seem to move forward on your own, or living with ambiguous loss, please reach out to schedule a free, 15-minute phone consultation: melanie@melanieharth.com.  I'm Melanie, the Santa Fe Therapist. My compassionate, creative approach to grief counseling in Santa Fe NM weaves together my ability to hear below the surface of the words, advanced degrees, years of specialized training, professional experience, and personal experiences healing from loss. I use the latest neuroscience research as I combine Western systems, Eastern wisdom, Earth-based practices, as well as creative, innovative ideas to help you process and heal. Clients usually work with me once a week for 8-12 months. As we work together, you'll process your sadness and loss in an emotionally safe space, and begin learning how to step into the world again, on your terms. Please know that I welcome ongoing conversations about making therapy the best experience it can be for you. The Santa Fe Therapist Offers Online Counseling in Santa Fe, NM Online therapy helps women who are struggling with grief and loss find the time away from day-to-day pressures to calm their nervous systems. It also makes it easy and convenient to process emotions and learn new neuroscience techniques cope with challenges, heal the past, and begin building your future. I strongly believe in the power of online counseling. Along with the research that proves its effectiveness, I see the positive benefits for clients every week. Click here if you've got questions about online therapy. Online counseling from anywhere in New Mexico, including Santa Fe, Albuquerque, Taos, Los Alamos, Pecos, Las Vegas, Tesuque and El Dorado. How to Get Grief Counseling in Santa Fe NM You don't have to suffer alone anymore. Please, send me an email, and let's schedule a free, 15-minute phone consultation: melanie@melanieharth.com, for grief counseling in Santa Fe. Other Services From The Santa Fe Therapist The Santa Fe Therapist specializes in several areas of health, wellbeing, healing and recovery. We know that one size never fits all. Our services are individualized to each client, and are based on your values, your needs and desires, and your goals. We offer individual adult counseling and guidance in Santa Fe NM for: dealing with overwhelming angst and despair anxiety help depression help emotional and spiritual healing processing grief overcoming low self-esteem learning how to make peace with the present PTSD and CPTSD/trauma helping you manage stress    

Have you ever been told that you're “too sensitive,” thinking too much, or that you should be happy going to parties ‘cause the more the merrier?   Do you hide you who are because you've been shamed or told there's something wrong with you?   You might be an HSP, a highly sensitive person.   Melanie (Dr. Melanie Harth) explains what being an HSP means, and offers lots of ideas and strategies for coping with too much stress, overwhelm, and an over-stimulated nervous system.   She references the work of the psychologist who developed the theory, Dr. Elaine Aron, author of several books on being highly sensitive, including her first one, "The Highly Sensitive Person: How to Thrive When the World Overwhelms You.”   One quote Melanie shares in this episode from the book is "If you are going to notice every little thing in a situation, and if the situation is complicated (many things to remember), intense (noisy, cluttered, etc), or goes on too long (a 2-hour commute), it seem obvious that you will also have to wear out sooner from having to process so much so thoroughly. Others, not noticing much or any of what you have, will not tire as quickly [or at all!].   "They may even think it quite strange that you find it too much to sightsee all day and go to a nightclub in the evening. … . Indeed this is often the behavior we and others have noticed most — that HSPs are easily stressed by overstimulation (including social stimulation), or, having learned their lesson, that they avoid intense situations more than others do.”   Melanie shares information about what being highly sensitive can look like in different people, along with ways that an HSP can cause problems for themselves.   Other areas she covers include HSPs and narcissists, HSPs and shame, HSPs and psychological/mental disorders such as anxiety and depression, and ways to help soothe yourself.   Dr. Elaine Aron's website here, including the free quiz: https://hsperson.com/   Dr. Melanie Harth's website here: https://thesantafetherapist.com/

Dur e Aziz Amna is the guest who's keeping Melanie on her toes in this insightful, wide-ranging, and delightful conversation.   Aziz Amna grew up in Rawalpindi, Pakistan. She graduated from Yale College and the Helen Zell Writers' Program at the University of Michigan. Her work has appeared in the New York Times, Financial Times, and Aljazeera, among others. Winner of the 2019 Financial Times Essay Prize, she was longlisted for the Sunday Times Audible Short Story Award 2020.   Her brand-new debut novel is American Fever. And it's a powerhouse of a novel. The protagonist, Hira, is an adolescent Pakistani girl who comes of age as an exchange student in rural Oregon.   Hira's voice is impressive, with observations ranging from who she is to who she is not. Here's one example, “I don't yet know how to react to life—its sadness and disappointments—without blaming those around me, because I am only half formed and so it feels to me that I am nothing but the sum of other people's actions.”   Another quote from Hira as the older narrator is, “At 16, I was tired of limits, aghast that life could be so small. Tired of the same girls I had known all my life, girls who called their periods their ‘visitors'… who didn't know, didn't desire to know, how powerful and clever and beautiful they were, who had already decided on the low, petty ceilings of their limits.”   Finally, from Hira, as narrator/observer, comes this, “Stereotypes happen when you don't understand the thing itself, and so you interpret it. This is not an account of how America was. It's an account of who I was.”   The conversation between Dur e Aziz Amna and Melanie touches on themes such as: emigration and immigration assimilation what “home” means globalization racism and Othering the challenges presented when we stereotype something the place of one's culture and tradition the hubris, ignorance, and fear of at least some of “America” and Americans   The two women also talk quite a bit about happiness and well-being in the 2nd half of this episode. Dur e has a lot to say about this and does so with style and grace.   This show is for snuggling down with a cuppa on a lazy early evening and spending the hour with friends enjoying each other's company.   Dur e Aziz Amna's website here: https://www.dureazizamna.com/   Dr. Melanie Harth's website here: https://thesantafetherapist.com/   Questions or comments? Send them to happiness@ksfr.org.

This is an intimate episode with Melanie sharing an essay from the scientist, activist, humanitarian and writer Barry Lopez. The essay is from his last book, “Embrace Fearlessly the Burning World,” published posthumously.   Lopez makes a poignant plea to not fall into despair and hopelessness at the state of the world. Building on the foundation of Lopez's essay, Melanie shares several suggestions for how to find joy in dark times. The focus is on simple ways to help reset your nervous system in challenging times.   For instance, did you know that trying to resist painful emotions increases psychological suffering?    Or that helping other people or a cause that's important to you has been proven over and over again to helps get you out of your little mind and ego and into something more important? It helps manage the non-stop ruminating monkey mind thing.   Also,  nature is a powerful healer! Hanging out in nature can help elicit joy and happiness.   She also shares several pieces of writing from the poets David Whyte and Mary Oliver, educational visionary Maria Montessori, and the Zen Buddhist teacher and writer Thich Nhat Hanh.   Dr. Melanie Harth's website here: https://thesantafetherapist.com/    

Shepherd Siegel, PhD, has written a lot of books, including two in which he writes about the importance of the Trickster mythology. Shep is an activist, writer, musician, researcher, prankster and author of the book we talk about in this episode — “Tricking Power Into Performing Acts of Love: How Tricksters Through History Have Changed the World.” The Trickster archetype, or myth, or god/goddess, is one of the most ancient deities, found in almost every indigenous culture around the globe. In the southwestern United States, the Trickster is often portrayed as Kokopelli. In his book, Shep writes "about how grown-ups who have retained the ability to be playful as they were when a child view and behave in the world. Such a grown-up will consciously or unconsciously engage with the Trickster." One of Trickster's main characteristics is having fun and playing, no matter what else is going on around him or her. Shep brilliantly leads us through his research findings, tells beautiful stories of different Trickster deities, and Melanie asks a lot of questions. As he writes, "The trickster just sets out to have fun, and somebody might get hurt, but the intentions are never to deliberately hurt others. In fact, quite the opposite: this book is about the role of the trickster (human), and the Trickster (demigod, archetype), in opening our eyes and our minds to the tangible possibility of a more perfect and playful society, a utopia if you will.”   Dr. Melanie Harth's website: www.TheSantaFeTherapist.com.

September 7th, 2022  There are a lot of ways to help reduce anxiety. CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy), DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy), mindfulness (especially MBSR, Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction), and emotional regulation can absolutely change your life for the better if you're struggling with anxiety. There are also plenty of ways to get creative when you're feeling overwhelmed. Journaling is one powerful way to help calm your nervous system and manage those anxiety gremlins. Bringing your mind back home to the present moment is a simple, effective way to ride the wild horse of your anxious mind, even if it's just for a sec. Music is super-powerful for self-soothing an anxious mind. Sometimes when my mind is scurrying around in too much worry, I listen to quiet jazz (or classical and all dance music, from 60s soul to contemporary salsa). Find your happy place with music and listen away (yep, I had to get up offa' my thing and dance listening to this!). Finally, if you're curious about divination tools such as Tarot cards, the I-Ching, Runes, or astrology, learning more about whatever's calling you can also provide creative ways to work with anxiety. Note: if anxiety symptoms are getting in the way of work and relationships or causing health issues, please talk to a professional anxiety counselor and get help. Can Astrology Help Reduce Anxiety? Maybe. Sometimes. Sometimes a lot. I recently spent an hour interviewing the nationally known astrologer Elizabeth Grace. We talked a lot about events and people in the news. We also talked about how understanding the bigger astrological picture of why things happen the way they do can help you feel less anxious. In my experience, it can be a helpful tool along with psychotherapy when struggling with how to reduce anxiety. And according to The Atlantic, astrology is having a moment. Astrology offers an understanding of the planetary patterns that reflect your life's potential. Another way it can be helpful is that, once you understand those planetary patterns reflected in how you make choices, you can learn how to surf the waves of the inevitable life changes and curve balls everyone has to deal with. Elizabeth and I talked about the chaos that seems to be happening these days. She mentioned the esteemed American historian Heather Cox Richardson (her free Facebook page; her paid substack page). If you're interested in current events and politics and how history repeats itself, check her out. In the second half of the episode, I get personal with part of my astrology chart so Elizabeth could explain how a chart works.   more from Dr. Melanie Harth, The Santa Fe Therapist: https://thesantafetherapist.com/

David McRaney is an author, science journalist, lecturer, and the creator of the blog You Are Not So Smart, which became an internationally bestselling book, later followed by You Are Now Less Dumb. He hosts the popular YANSS podcast and speaks internationally about irrational thinking and delusion. And David has a new book called “How Minds Change: The Surprising Science of Belief, Opinion, and Persuasion.” This is a big show, covering a lot of ground. He and Melanie discuss the psychology of changing minds, both our own as well as others. How to have conversations that might be difficult is part of the thread. As David said, “It's more about how you're approaching the conversation.” And he gets into the particulars of what contemporary interdisciplinary scientific research says is most effective. David's got an intriguing interdisciplinary approach, encompassing the fields of psychology, sociology, conflict, tribal psychology, and yes ... even more. As he writes in his book, “How Minds Change”: “Societies aren't fixed. Large social systems, though they seem stable, are always changing in subtle ways that are imperceptible to the people living within them. Even if thresholds remain constant in a way that prevents a cascade from building momentum within a single group, all manner of circumstances can affect the average number of connections between groups, altering the conditions in ways that randomly create percolating vulnerable clusters. Any society can, without its knowledge, change from one in which a global cascade is impossible to one in which it could happen at any time. Repeated shocks to the system that before seemed futile now have the potential to change the world. “Change can creep along with no signs of meaningful progress for decades. It makes the status quo seem like it was unanimously agreed upon, stable and eternal. It makes mind change seem impossible — until one day, a lucky strike causes so much change that everyone's thresholds are met within a percolating cluster. Then the culture-wide spread begins. A social change cascading this way reach everyone except those who have difficult-to-meet thresholds who are part of a cluster that is disconnected from the network, cult, an insulated religion, or a remote community.” Living from happiness includes many components, including psychological resilience and the ability to adapt as change happens. Especially important skills to cultivate in this rapidly accelerating era of change. David's an engaging, articulate, super-smart, and fun guy. Listen in to the pod, and let us know your thoughts: happiness@ksfr.org. David McRaney's How Minds Work here: https://www.davidmcraney.com/ howmindschangehome Dr. Melanie Harth's website here: https://thesantafetherapist.com/

Linda Durham's professional and personal life centers on art, artists, global travel, and humanitarian causes. She is the founder and director of Santa Fe's Wonder Institute, which sponsors art exhibitions, lectures, workshops, and salons focused on discovering and implementing creative solutions to contemporary social and cultural issues. For more than three decades, Durham promoted New Mexico-based artists as the hands-on owner of a contemporary art gallery with seven exhibition locations through the years: six in Santa Fe, and one in New York. In 2012, the New Mexico Museum of Art acquired her extensive gallery archives. A prolific writer and speaker, she has been guest lecturer or workshop presenter at Brigham Young University, the University of Wisconsin, Ohio Wesleyan University, Yale University, the Sundance Institute, the College of Santa Fe, Santa Fe Community College, and the New Mexico Museum of Art. For her seventieth birthday, Durham circumnavigated the world in seventy days, meeting Indigenous women, educators, artists, entrepreneurs, and peace activists, and planting “Seeds of Peace” in gardens, schoolyards, and parks in South Africa, Lesotho, Madagascar, Thailand, Myanmar, and Hawaii.

Dr. Mike Rucker is an organizational psychologist and charter member of the International Positive Psychology Association whose work has been published in the International Journal of Workplace Health Management and Nutrition Research. His ideas about fun and health have been featured in The Wall Street Journal, Forbes, Vox, Thrive Global, mindbodygreen, and more. Named one of ten digital changemakers by the Healthcare Information and Management Systems Society, he currently serves as a senior leader at Active Wellness. Learn more at MichaelRucker.com. 

Daniel Bergner is a contributing writer for the New York Times Magazine and author of The Mind and the Moon.

Feeling sad and feeling anxious are two common signs of ambiguous loss. Dr. Pauline Boss, one of the world's leading experts on ambiguous loss, shares insights and research in The Myth of Closure: Ambiguous Loss in a Time of Pandemic and Change, her newest book. Dr. Boss is a psychologist, thought leader, emeritus professor, and author of the seminal books Loss, Trauma, and Resilience: Therapeutic Work with Ambiguous Loss, and The Myth of Closure: Ambiguous Loss In A Time of Pandemic and Change. She's known worldwide for developing the theory of ambiguous loss and as a pioneer in the interdisciplinary study of family stress management. And at the age of 87, she's having a moment! A delightful guest, Pauline freely shares some of her personal journey and how her experiences of loss changed the scope of her newest book even as she was writing it. She says that ambiguous loss is "an unclear loss." And that many people don't realize they're grieving. The result can be that the grief then becomes frozen. When we understand that how we're feeling and why we're feeling it is because we're grieving an unclear loss, our lives can begin making more sense. Examples of ambiguous loss include the Covid pandemic, leaving one's home and/or country as an immigrant or refugee, romantic relationship breakups, divorces, family disintegration, adoption caretaking an elderly spouse, partner, parent, or adult child with physical and/or mental health issues. Pauline Boss makes it clear that most caregivers are not depressed. Nor should they be labeled with a pathogizing diagnosis they don't deserve. What many caregivers are is sad. And it's a sadness that's very normal and understandable given the circumstances. Closure on normal grieving is a myth. Grief does not end. Further, if we've loved someone or something, we want to remember. Because we're remembering with love. Pauline offers thoughtful, and helpful counsel for how to increase our tolerance for ambiguous loss, and continue moving forward with our lives, even as we hold what's dear to us in our hearts.   If you're feeling sad, depressed, confused about how to move forward after a traumatic change, or if you'd like to explore grief counseling in Santa Fe, please reach out to the Santa Fe Therapist for a free 15-minute phone consult. Send an email to melanie@melanieharth.com and schedule a session, won't you?

What's the connection between fear, anxiety, cPTSD and/or activism? Melanie and Artemisio Romero y Carver dive into all of it in this fast-paced episode. Arte is a Chicana artist, poet, and grassroots organizer. Santa Fe Youth Poet Laureate in 2020, Arte's voice is informed, intelligent, and vibrant with hope. Sharing openly about his diagnosis of cPTSD, he and Melanie talk about the stress of living in a chaotic world with so many challenges facing his generation, including the climate crisis. cPTSD (C-PTSD, or complex PTSD, is 

Anxiety, depression, and addictive behaviors can be best friends. I'm talking about the kind of "best" friend that can suck you in so deeply that you forget who you are and how it feels to be healthy and thriving. Yvonne Castaneda is a licensed social worker, adjunct professor of Boston College Graduate School of Social Work, online facilitator of BC School of Theology and Ministry, and author of the new book, Pork Belly Tacos With a Side of Anxiety: My Journey Through Depression, Bulimia, and Addiction. She's an expert in anxiety, depression, and addictive behaviors. She's also super articulate and a lot of fun! This thought-provoking, light-hearted conversation touches on a wide range of topics, including cultural identity. Yvonne identifies as Latina, writing that her identity "as a Latina is rooted in the core values we share as a people, in our ability to overcome hardships with tenacity, perseverance, and determination, in the underlying passion and respect for life that I've encountered in all of the [Latinos] who have crossed my path, our cultural differences not strong enough to drive us apart because combined we wrote the book on how to laugh, how to love and how to vivir." In addition to Latina cultural identity, Yvonne and Dr. Melanie Harth, the show host, talk about how: anxiety and depression can develop in children and adolescents early signs of the eating disorder bulimia anxiety and depression can lead to disordered eating in adolescents low self-confidence and low self-esteem can contribute to eating disorders shame develops and contributes to anxiety, depression, and addictive behaviors Latino families can unknowingly encourage eating disorders in children and adolescents As Sandra Cisneros, author of The House on Mango Street, wrote: "There are wounds of the spirit impossible to heal alone. Yvonne Castañeda is a healer healing others by sharing her own story. This book resonated deeply with me, as it will with many who are lost when their DNA contradicts the image of the ideal." "Anxiety, Depression, & Addictive Behaviors" is a beautiful episode, with Yvonne Castenada and Melanie Harth sharing sensitive experiences with transparency, clinical knowledge, and the wisdom earned through painful personal experiences. Dr. Melanie Harth, Santa Fe therapist and life coach, helps stressed women struggling with anxiety, sadness and grief, and low self-esteem. Click here for her website.

Guest Duff McDonald, journalist and New York Times bestselling author, discusses his philosophy, and his new book, "Tickled: A Commonsense Guide To The Present Moment."

Melanie continues her conversation with Aliza Einhorn, astrologer, and author of A Mystical Practical Guide to Magic: Instructions for Seekers, Witches, & Other Spiritual Misfits.

Guest host Diane Tegmeyer talks with author and expert on American cheeses, Laura Werlin.

Animals can be such wonderful contributors to our healing, happiness and well-being! Guest host Diane Tegmeyer talks all things animals with Santa Fe Animal Shelter & Human Society Executive Director Dr. Jennifer Steketee. Born and raised in Oregon, Jennifer attended vet school in Oregon and Washington states. Hers is an important voice in helping us understand the plight of sheltered animals in northern New Mexico. She shares stories of hope and healing, as well as lots of ideas for volunteering in this episode.

We can find a tremendous amount of wisdom when we journal. Dr. Elaine Casquarelli and Dr. Karin Lubin share insights, ideas, and lots of laughter in this episode. Elaine is a psychotherapist who incorporates IFS (Internal Family Systems) into her work with clients. Karin's professional background includes having been the Global Director of The Passion Test Certification programs. She's the co-owner — along with her husband, Randy Crutches, of Quantum Leap Coaching and Consulting.  And she's co-hosted and guest hosted several episodes of Living From Happiness. Karin's doctorate is in education and organizational leadership. There is now a large body of research that supports journaling as an activity that can have a profound impact on our health, happiness, and wellbeing. Karin explains some of these benefits to listeners. And Elaine offers insights into how powerful it can be to understand our internal parts. When the two are combined together -- IFS and journaling -- amazing things can happen. Elaine, Karin and Melanie talk about the importance of curiosity and clarity, how to access our inner wisdom, and how journaling can help us reconnect with ourselves. In the second half, Karin shares her feelings about the books cover art, created by Estella Loretto (be on the lookout for a show with Estella in the near future). Elaine and Karin are co-facilitating a 6-week virtual journaling wisdom circle Oct 8 – Nov 12, 2021. They'll incorporate their book -- Living From Your Centered Self: An IFS Wisdom Journal -- and teach you how to connect with your centered Self and help the wounded and overworked parts of you to heal. You'll reconnect with your body, mind, and spirit through guided meditations, journaling and the sharing of your experiences and inner wisdom with one another. for more information about the Journaling Wisdom Circle, click here Dr. Elaine Casquarelli's website here Dr. Karin Lubin's website here Dr. Melanie Harth's website here

Stress. Who isn't stressed these days? Absolutely no one. Melanie's the guest on her own show in this episode inspired by a New York Times article on smart phones and stress. Do you know that stress really does affect everything else in our lives, from how we feel when we wake up (how'd you sleep last night, by the way?) to how we interact with too fast or too slow drivers around town? Stress has a major affect on our health, wellbeing and happiness. It's an important component of almost decision we make all day long, all our lives. Stress contributes to anxiety, sadness, anger, brain fog, rational thought, self-control and our decision-making abilities. It's a contributor to serious health problems. Basically, stress can make us miserable. The article states that “cortisol is our primary fight-or-flight hormone. Its release triggers physiological changes, such as spikes in blood pressure, heart rate and blood sugar, that help us react to and survive acute physical threats. “These effects can be lifesaving if you are actually in physical danger — like, say, you're being charged by a bull. But our bodies also release cortisol in response to emotional stressors where an increased heart rate isn't going to do much good, such as checking your phone to find an angry email from your boss. “If they happened only occasionally, phone-induced cortisol spikes might not matter. But the average American spends four hours a day staring at their smartphone and keeps it within arm's reach nearly all the time … . The result, as Google has noted in a report, is that ‘mobile devices loaded with social media, email and news apps create ‘a constant sense of obligation, generating unintended personal stress.'" The good news? There's lots of it in the 2nd half of the show, including the idea of being with beauty to help calm our nervous systems down. As Terry Tempest Williams wrote, “Finding beauty in a broken world is creating beauty in the world we find.” (in Finding Beauty in a Broken World) Listen in for more ideas about calming down our stress response. Dr. Melanie Harth's website here  

Making choices can feel overwhelming. Diane Tegmeyer, professional travel and food writer and new resident of Santa Fe, has been through a lot of changes in the last few years. She and Melanie get personal as they talk about what it means to leave one life for another, making choices, taking risks, and choosing new beginnings. In her professional life as a travel writer, Diane was constantly faced with making choices. And in her personal life, she was living in New York City during the pandemic year, facing challenging medical issues on her own. And she's now living in a brand-new city, navigating a multitude of decisions every day (not to mention moving to Santa Fe from New York City, and before that from Aspen to New York City). The truth is that, in the larger collective conversation, each of us is now being called to adapt, to innovate, to make better choices. It's part of the fallout of the Covid-19 pandemic, with the tremendous changes we're facing, whether or not we want to. It is what we're facing as we hurtle into ramifications of the climate crisis. Each of us has the choice to step into healthy adaptive solutions, whether that's on a very personal level as Diane talks about or on the larger systemic levels of family, community, culture, even humanity. When the yucky stuff hits the fan, there's always a choice: to either step forward, toward growth, or backward, where it only feels safe. These are not times to sit on the couch watching TV. In this era of accelerating demands for innovative adaptation, we must pay a new sort-of attention to the choices we're making. For growth, adaptation, and transformation begin with one person at a time, moving outward to collective tipping points and game-changing social movements. We can ride this wave together if we choose to do so. You ready? Let's go! Dr. Melanie Harth's website here

"Big T trauma" and "little t trauma" are two phrases often used to describe different psychological/emotional trauma levels. Big T can result from either one specific experience or recurring sexual or physical abuse. Little t, on the other end of the trauma spectrum, can result from a series of smaller yet still challenging events. We can be traumatized by a single event like being involved in a bad accident or experiencing an act of violence such as assault or recurring abuse. That's a Big T trauma -- a big event or a series of significant repetitive events. We can also be traumatized by a series of smaller, not-so-big things like being bullied (as a child or an adult), family conflict, infidelity, divorce, a sudden geographical move, or medical issues. Big T traumas are generally considered more dramatic than those of little t. How individuals respond to the event, though, is what matters. One person may be deeply traumatized by something to which another person barely reacts. And those emotional/behavioral reactions are what psychotherapists such as Paige Pierson are trained to work with. Paige is a psychotherapist, licensed both in Texas and New Mexico. She's a credentialed supervisor for LMHC's.  Based in Los Alamos, Paige has previously worked in corrections, behavioral health hospitals, private practice, and community agencies. In this episode, Melanie and Paige offer a fascinating insider glimpse into the world of trauma-sensitive therapy. Paige is also a working artist, sharing insights about how her creative life nurtures her life as a psychotherapist. Last but not least, Paige is the author of a YA dystopian fiction novel set in 2088. She wrote it for young people who are struggling with bullying, anxiety, self-esteem, and resilience. Her commitment to living a rich life, no matter what we've experienced, can be a model for all of us. Paige Pierson's psychotherapy website here Dr. Melanie Harth's website here  

The psychology of self-esteem and style is the focus of this show. Stylist Kitty Ault, photographer Gabriella Marks, and hair and make-up artist Jess Evans -- the KA Style team -- all share ideas about the importance of how we present ourselves to the world. This is a lively show with a terrific team of women who work well together. And Melanie discovered academic research on the psychology of fashion, sharing it with listeners and asking for feedback from the KA Style team. In doing research for this show, Melanie found the following from psychologist Carolyn Mair, Ph.D.: " ... it's stressful for us if we don't feel comfortable in what we're wearing. If we're really worrying that it's appropriate or it's suitable or we don't feel confident in what we're wearing, it stresses us and this means that we don't have the cognitive capacity to deal with the problem at hand. This is why lots of very successful people tend to wear a work uniform ... [people] who wear the same items every day to allow this freeing up of cognitive capacity for more important issues." [https://www.apa.org/research/action/speaking-of-psychology/fashion] How we show up in the world can have a significant impact on our psychological/mental/emotional health. Because how we show up in the world can be both a reflection of how we're feeling or how we want to feel, as well as signaling to others how we expect to be treated. "Your fashion style can determine if you ace that interview and get that dream job. Once you are on the job, your wardrobe can determine if you get more responsibility and get promoted. Your clothing choices can make or break your career, your ability to make friends, and develop the romantic relationships that you seek. "Just as dress radiates outward to your surroundings, it also moves inward. How you dress affects your mood. Your wardrobe choices have a psychological impact. Karen Pine demonstrates in her book Mind What You Wear that there is a science behind fashion and that psychology and fashion are indeed linked. "The next time you choose what to wear, think about why you chose that outfit. Allow more understanding for others when considering why they dress the way they do. And most of all, use the opportunity to have fun and bring pleasure into your life. Self-care is an important aspect of mental health. Looking and feeling good is not just an advertising slogan, it is a viable aspect to your wellbeing." [https://psychcentral.com/lib/the-psychology-of-fashion#4] Dressing "up," meaning dressing for how you want to feel and how you want to be seen by others -- with healthy self-confidence and strong self-esteem -- is a simple technique to change your cognition and emotions. Cool, no? KA Style website here Gabriella Marks photographer website here Jess Evans, The Beauty Bar website here Dr. Melanie Harth website here    

The holy space of singing on stage is just one of the very cool things Melanie and Susanne Mentzer talk about in this episode. Susanne is a mezzo-soprano who's performed all over the world, singing in operatic productions, as well as concerts, chamber music performances, and recitals. She's been a guest artist at the Metropolitan Opera since 1989, and made many recordings. She's a Full-time Professor of Voice at the San Francisco Conservatory of Music and Official Voice Teacher at the San Francisco Opera. Finally, Susanne is singing this summer at the Santa Fe Opera. This episode is full of light-hearted energy, lots of laughter, some personal revelations of overcoming hardships ... lots of life. Susanne talks about the ways in which being on stage for her is therapeutic, perhaps even sacred at times. Being passionate about her work in the world, which has now spanned several decades, continues to bring much meaning for Susanne. Not incidentally, feeling a sense of meaning and purpose in our lives is one of the major contributors to our overall health, wellbeing, and happiness. As an article in Scientific American says, "A wealth of research in positive psychology suggests that happiness and meaning are, in fact, essential elements of well-being. Happiness and meaning are strongly correlated with each other, and often feed off each other. The more meaning we find in life, the more happy we typically feel, and the more happy we feel, the more we often feel encouraged to pursue even greater meaning and purpose." Another major key to wellbeing is having healthy social connections, which Susanne talks about. That same Scientific American article says " ... feeling connected to others, feeling productive, and not being alone or bored contributed to both happiness and meaning. However, they also found some important differences ... ." [https://blogs.scientificamerican.com/beautiful-minds/the-differences-between-happiness-and-meaning-in-life/]*  Her life has taken some unexpected turns, she's lived some tragedy and experienced great triumphs, and is incredibly transparent in sharing insights, and hope, and inspiration. Susanne Mentzer's website here Dr. Melanie Harth's website here *Happiness and meaning and purpose can quickly become a very nuanced conversation, at least according to some research findings. This statement may help shed a bit more light on it: "It seems that happiness has more to do with having your needs satisfied, getting what you want, and feeling good, whereas meaning is more related to uniquely human activities such as developing a personal identity, expressing the self, and consciously integrating one's past, present, and future experiences." [https://blogs.scientificamerican.com/beautiful-minds/the-differences-between-happiness-and-meaning-in-life/]

Dr. Michelle Schwab is a clinical psychologist based in Portland, Maine. She specializes in health psychology and working with high-achieving professionals who are struggling with burnout. And these days, who isn't feeling at least a little burned out?! Michelle shares some of the red flags for burnout, which includes cynicism and a lack of empathy. From the APA (American Psychological Association) comes this: "Burnout is more than just feeling worn out. According to psychologist Christina Maslach, PhD—a pioneering burnout researcher who developed what has become the gold standard for measuring burnout—the condition has three components: overwhelming exhaustion, cynicism and detachment, and a sense of ineffectiveness and lack of accomplishment (Maslach Burnout Inventory Manual, fourth edition, 2016). "People kind of switch to doing the bare minimum instead of doing their very best," says Maslach, a professor emeritus of psychology at the University of California, Berkeley, and co-editor-in-chief of the journal Burnout Research." https://www.apa.org/monitor/2018/02/ce-corner For health care workers and all caregivers, it's important to remember that burnout is associated with compassion fatigue or secondary trauma, which can contribute to even more burnout. The good news is that there are things that can be helpful to prevent or lessen burnout, including making self-care a priority. Having a trusted social support network, even if that's one other person, can make a big difference. Mindfulness is another practice that's proven to be helpful. In order to deal with what's happening, we need to be aware of how we're feeling, right? In the 2nd half of this episode, Michelle shares a lovely personal story of her work with a cancer patient 30 years ago, and how that helped her cope with 2020's pandemic year. This show is rich with personal insights, and current research data about burnout, stress, and anxiety as we all continue to learn how to navigate the uncharted waters of this era. Dr. Michelle Schwab's website here Dr. Melanie Harth's website here

Women and power and style are part of this show with Kitty Ault. Kitty's back in the studio talking about how we present ourselves to the world. 'Cause, the truth is, clothes and hair and make-up all enhance or hide our identities. It's always fascinating to dive deep into something that's often misunderstood, trivialized, and/or exploited. And Kitty's an expert. She's a stylist with a degree in Art History/ Fine Arts. She worked in New York in public relations, design, marketing, event management, and fashion for innovative companies such as Perrier, L'Oreal, Cacharel, The Hearst Corporation, and financial institutions. She then ventured into the world of modeling, magazine location/styling, and photoshoots. She had the opportunity to work with top photographers, Conde Nast, Hearst publications, Time Inc., and associated magazines. In 2005, Kitty and her family moved to Santa Fe, NM. She shares thoughts on how the pandemic changed the ways we see ourselves, and how we choose to show up in the world. How we're shifting identities, roles, and priorities. The ways in which it's a re-set for women in the workplace. Kitty and Melanie also get into women and power (yep, she's an expert), and women and vulnerability (yes, there's a connection). Psychological studies show the impact of clothing in the workplace. Including, no surprise, that women can be judged harshly for their attire. Especially if their position is "higher status." In one study, "we found that the clothing did matter. People rated the [female] senior manager less favourably when her dress style was more ‘provocative', and more favourably when dressed more conservatively (longer skirt, buttoned-up blouse). I reiterate that the clothing in the ‘provocative' condition was still very conservative in style and look—it was not a short skirt and a revealing blouse, but a skirt slightly above the knee and one button on the blouse undone. "The rating of the receptionist role was not affected by these clothing manipulations, suggesting that there may be more leeway for some jobs than others. "So even subtle changes to clothing style can contribute toward negative impressions of the competence of women who hold higher status positions." https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/do-something-different/201304/what-your-clothes-might-be-saying-about-you In that same article, the author writes "it is important to choose our dress style carefully because people will make all sorts of assumptions and decisions about us without proper evidence. We are unlikely to know what these assessments are, so it is quite possible that our clothes reveal more than we thought. "Sartorial laziness is an easy habit to slip into. We may think that fashion is just profligate indulgence and our sunny personality will eclipse our dull attire or detract from the soup stains on our anorak. Untrue. What we wear speaks volumes in just a few seconds. Dressing to impress really is worthwhile and could even be key to success." Kitty Ault's website here Dr. Melanie Harth, the Santa Fe Therapist, website here