Podcasts about Emotional safety

Ask a question, send us a message, or let us know how you like the podcastEpisode 226: My Adult Child Said I was Toxic. What Do I Do With That?Hearing your adult child describe you, your parenting, or your family as “toxic” can feel like a complete rejection of who you are. You may immediately want to defend yourself, explain your intentions, or prove that their version of the past is wrong.But the way you respond in that moment can either deepen the distance or create an opening for greater understanding.In this episode, Tina explains what your adult child may actually be trying to communicate when they use therapy words like “toxic.” She explores how parents can take their child's pain seriously without accepting an unfair label or collapsing into guilt and shame.You will learn how to stay grounded during painful conversations, listen for the experience underneath the accusation, and begin rebuilding trust through curiosity, empathy, and consistent behavior.In this episode, you will learn:Why being called a toxic parent feels like an attack on your entire identityWhat your adult child may mean when they say their childhood or family environment was toxicHow defensiveness can unintentionally reinforce the concerns your child is trying to expressWhat to say when you want to understand your adult child without agreeing with every detailHow changed behavior, emotional safety, and respectful communication can help repair a strained parent-adult child relationshipBeing called toxic does not automatically mean you are a bad parent. It may mean there is a painful gap between what you intended and what your adult child experienced. That gap can be explored, understood, and sometimes repaired.You do not have to argue your way out of your child's pain. You can learn to stay steady, ask better questions, acknowledge the impact, and allow your actions over time to show that the relationship can become different.Share this episode with another parent of an adult child who is struggling with family conflict, emotional distance, estrangement, or painful accusations and needs help knowing how to respond.Click Here to download the free guide: 5 Steps to Take Before Trying to Repair the Relationship with Your Adult Child Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She works with parents who have families in conflict to help them become the grounded, confident leaders their family needs. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------If you want support putting what you're learning into practice, come join The Connection Community in Bridge to Connection. You'll get step-by-step relationship lessons, practical tools to calm anxiety and reduce conflict, and live monthly coaching calls to help you stay steady and build real connection with your child—especially when things feel tense. Learn more and join at https://www.courageous-connections.com/bridge-to-connection3---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Tina is certified in family relationships and a trauma informed coach.  Visit tinagosney.com for more information on coaching services.

Most men struggle with sexual health in silence — blaming themselves instead of understanding what their bodies are trying to say.In this episode, Emma Galland joins Jey Young for an honest, stigma-free conversation about men's sexual health, intimacy, stress, and emotional regulation. Together, they unpack why performance anxiety, chronic stress, and emotional disconnection show up as sexual issues — and why those struggles are signals, not failures.This conversation explores how relaxation, emotional safety, and self-connection (including tantra-informed practices) can help men reclaim intimacy, confidence, and presence in their relationships.This episode covers:Why men feel intense pressure around sexual performanceHow stress and emotional overload impact erections and intimacyThe role of emotional safety in healthy sexWhy sexual health is about the whole system, not just sexHow listening to your body leads to better intimacySimple daily practices to regulate stress and reconnectThis episode is about normalizing the conversation — and reminding men they're not broken.⏱️ Chapters00:00 – Understanding Men's Sexual Struggles02:22 – Sexual Health Beyond the Physical05:41 – Common Myths About Men's Sexual Health09:22 – Stress, Anxiety, and Sexual Performance14:00 – Performance Pressure and the Nervous System18:27 – Emotional Safety and Intimacy24:41 – Building Emotional Connection27:08 – The Role of Touch and Relaxation28:43 – Understanding Sexual Energy and Arousal33:39 – Debunking Tantra Myths35:48 – Tantra and Self-Connection39:20 – Grounding Through Body Awareness43:03 – Daily Practices for Better Intimacy

Episode 265: When Missionaries Feel Fake explores a concern I hear from missionaries all the time: "I don't feel like myself." Whether it's teaching lessons, talking to strangers, leading discussions, or stepping into a new role, many missionaries worry they're being fake or simply going through the motions. In this episode, I share why feeling performative isn't necessarily the problem and how understanding what's happening beneath the surface can help you show up with more confidence, authenticity, and peace. We talk about the difference between performing and pretending, why our brains naturally adapt to unfamiliar situations, and how the emotion fueling your actions matters far more than the actions themselves. I also share practical examples of how shifting from proving yourself to genuinely loving the people you teach can completely change your missionary experience. Whether you're preparing to serve, currently serving, training a missionary, or supporting one at home, this episode will help you recognize the difference between simply doing missionary work and letting your real testimony and love lead the way. If you've ever questioned whether you're authentic enough, spiritual enough, or "doing it right," I hope this episode reminds you that you don't have to become someone else to be an effective missionary. The goal isn't to stop performing a new role—it's to let your thoughts, feelings, and testimony become aligned with the person God created you to be. I hope Episode 265: When Missionaries Feel Fake helps you serve with greater sincerity, confidence, and connection. As always, if you found this episode helpful, I want to invite you to subscribe if you aren't already, share this episode with your friends and missionaries you know, and write a review. I know this work will help LDS missionaries around the world and it would mean so much to me if you did. Until next week my friends.   00:00 – Intro 00:55 – Do Missionaries Feel Fake? 04:28 – Why We All Perform 07:59 – When Performance Feels Disconnected 10:37 – The Feeling Behind Your Actions 13:59 – Stop Trying to Prove Yourself 17:17 – Don't Correct a Personality 19:31 – Authenticity Starts with Emotional Safety 22:46 – The Goal Isn't to Stop Performing 26:48 – Outro   Website | Instagram | Facebook   5 Ways to Process Any Less-Than Happy Mission Memories Article: HERE   Get the Full Show Notes and Text/PDF Transcripts: HERE   Free PDF Download:  Podcast Roadmap   Free PDF Download:  Preparing Missionary Cheat Sheet   Free Training for Preparing Missionaries:  Change Your Mission with this One Tool   RM Transition Free Video Series:  3 Tools to Help RMs in Their Transition Home   Free Guide:  5 Tips to Help Any Returning Missionary   Schedule a Free Strategy Call:   Click Here 

In part one of this two-part safety series, Lesley Logan digs into why so many people tie their sense of safety to the money in their bank account. She traces where that wiring comes from, unpacks the difference between financial security and real emotional safety, and gets honest about the seasons every business and every life moves through. With warmth and a few hard-won stories, she offers a grounded way to feel steady. If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co mailto:beit@lesleylogan.co. And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.In this episode you will learn about:The 1974 credit law that still shapes women today.Why one slow week can make you feel like sinking.Where real safety lives when the money disappears.How broken promises to yourself erode your confidence.Reframing a hard season as evidence of a new season.Episode References/Links:Ep 352 ft Tess Waresmith - https://beitpod.com/ep352Ep 649 ft Tess Waresmith - https://beitpod.com/ep649Ep 53 ft Launa Jae - https://beitpod.com/ep53The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks - https://a.co/d/0aNfSwP7Submit your wins or questions - https://beitpod.com/questions If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSIDEALS! DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentCheck out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper's Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentBe in the know with all the workshops at OPC https://workshops.onlinepilatesclasses.com/lp-workshop-waitlistBe It Till You See It Podcast Survey https://pod.lesleylogan.co/be-it-podcasts-surveyBe a part of Lesley's Pilates Mentorship https://lesleylogan.co/elevate/FREE Ditching Busy Webinar https://ditchingbusy.com/Resources:Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gLesley Logan website https://lesleylogan.co/Be It Till You See It Podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjogqXLnfyhS5VlU4rdzlnQProfitable Pilates https://profitablepilates.com/about/Follow Us on Social Media:Instagram https://www.instagram.com/lesley.logan/The Be It Till You See It Podcast YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gFacebook https://www.facebook.com/llogan.pilatesLinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesley-logan/The OPC YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/@OnlinePilatesClasses Episode Transcript:Lesley Logan 0:00  What we have to do is find a paradigm shift, and move away from I feel safe and my bank account is X, to I feel safe right now because I know how to navigate whatever comes. Lesley Logan 0:05  Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast, where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained 1000s of people around the world, and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity, and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guests will bring bold, executable, intrinsic, and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and be it till you see it. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started. Lesley Logan 0:44  All right, Be It Babe. Welcome back to our safety series. Welcome back. I hope you enjoyed a little discussion about money and certainty and security, and where it actually comes from, and what's going on, and all these different things. And I hope we can have a great conversation about it, so you can send in any aha moments, wonders, wins, to the Be It Pod at beitpod.com/questions. Also, DM us on Instagram and let us know what your takeaways are, or if you have more questions that you want us to do a third episode or fourth episode on this. Lesley Logan 1:31  Alright, so today we're going to talk about becoming your own safe harbor, and that's just because, again, we talked about how it's so easy for us to put safety and security in what our bank account says. And for good reason, we know money makes the world go round and you have to have it to pay your bills and to be in a safe place, and so yes to all those things, and also really understanding what is secure and safe to you, so that on those bad bank days you don't just throw everything out the window and go "I suck at all of this." And I think this podcast, a lot of things stem from confidence, either having it or not. And what is important is that I think it's really tricky how self-confidence actually works because it comes, as I mentioned last episode, from doing the things you said you would do. So, I think some people look at someone like me and they go, "She's so confident," and then you think, "Oh, she knows this is going to work out." And actually, what if confidence was not that everything will work out, but knowing you can handle it even if it doesn't? That is the type of confidence I want you to have, because that's where I think security and safety really come. And I will just say, I know we have a lot of listeners at all different ages, we have a lot of young listeners, and so you might be at a different point in your life where you haven't had a lot of bad days that you've survived yet, or maybe you've had, I definitely did, but there's still this feeling that when bad things happen, they're the worst things in your life. And I'm over 40, and I know a lot of listeners here are over 40, and we have survived a lot. We have survived 100% of our bad days, as I've said in the last episode. Some of you have survived divorces, a lot of you just survived grief, career pivots, parenting challenges, health changes, and so I actually wanted to say, because you've survived all those things, I don't think you have to go find more self-trust, more confidence. I think you can remember you had it, you have it. I think it's about going, "Oh my god, there she is, there it is. I put it in the back of the closet over there, I forgot." You know, and so I think my first homework assignment for you from this episode, to get a strategy around how amazing you are, to have certainty and the safety that you are amazing, is look back at your history, go down memory lane, get out the data if you own your own business and look at how much you have done, look at the adaptability that you have. We tend to look back and think of all the good stuff, and so then when bad stuff happens, we don't want to go back there because it hurts or it stings. But if we go, "Whoa, I survived that." You guys, like I've talked about on the pod a few times, I don't think you guys realize I truly did leave someone, became without an address, couch surfed, totaled my car, then found out the studio that I rented space where I made my income was closing. Oh my god, I should have felt the most unsafe in that moment.Lesley Logan 4:16  And I was like, "Oh no, I've been here before," because I had been homeless before, and what I actually just need to do is figure out where the studio is going to be, so then I can find the apartments, then I can get a car. That's all. I made a plan. So you got to go back and you got to look at the data of what you have survived, so you can see that you can do this, you can do anything, and also most of the bad things that happen are never as bad as the worst things we've had. But we conflate them, we catastrophize them, and so they all feel as the same bad, but they're not. So I hope that little trip down my memory lane helps you realize I'm not the only resilient one here on this podcast. You are, you have survived 100% of your bad days. And if you would just pat yourself on the back, that's why we do FYFs, celebrate the wins of what you survived, because you learn something from it every single time, right? You don't do things the same way. Lesley Logan 5:33  I also know that many of you listening to this podcast are do-it-all-yourself, and that feels safe to you, and I am that person. I'll just do it myself, and then it will get done the way I want, and then it'll be perfect, and I will have certainty and security and safety. But the reality is that we end up not trusting anybody when that happens. We think we have so much self-trust that we're the ones who can do it, and then we trust no one, and then we become actually more and more alone, and that is not necessarily what creates safety. That does not create long-lasting confidence, and I'm not saying that you have to have a business partner or a life partner, or anything, you can hire people, or you can ask for help, or, if you like a book, join a book club. There's just different things we can do so that we are not just doing everything all ourselves all of the time, because there's just too much in one life for anyone to do. Maybe you actually leverage AI to help you with the things you need to do. People are always better, but also, if you want to feel safe and secure, if you have these emotional up and down roller coasters where you just feel like you have certainty and uncertainty, chances are you might be trying to do it all yourself, and it's exhausting. You not only don't have anyone to trust in doing something, but then you start developing this inability to trust people. Lesley Logan 6:26  And then another thing that is affecting us, if we are hyper-independent type people, we're in that trap, is we actually can get into a place of, "What if I lose everything?" We start to panic, and then we go back to that catastrophizing situation, and we worry, and it actually doesn't prevent anything bad from happening, but it does ruin your present moment. I had an incredible interview with an astrologer, Aleks Ceho, and we actually talked about intuition and how you can have an intuitive thought and bad things could still happen, but that doesn't mean your intuition was wrong. It means you heard your intuition and it gave a warning. Does it mean that you should have heard it a split second sooner? No, you listened, right? So it's just really important that we don't allow the worry of what could happen keep us from what is happening and enjoying that, because if we don't enjoy it, we don't learn from it, and then we don't have the muscle we need for when the bad shit happens. All right, that's how it goes. Lesley Logan 7:27  So, we've had a couple of somatic experts on the podcast, Lauren Zoeller and Keri Ford, and if you are really into somatics, they are experts, you should go listen to their episodes. But I can tie it into Pilates, right? So, if you do Pilates correctly, you should not feel tension anywhere, because tension just creates rigidity. But you should feel connection, and connection to our muscles allows us to have flexibility and stability, right? So, our center creates some stability so that we can move our limbs, or our limbs help create stability so we can move our center. And so I think it's really important that safety is not the same as rigidity. In fact, a lot of us are thinking that tension and rigidity and these strict rules, "I'm going to do it all myself, no one can help me," it actually does quite the opposite. And what is rigid will eventually break, but what is connected can bend, right? Can flow and move with it. Lesley Logan 8:38  I definitely can think back to a few times where my trying to control everything and how it went out just caused not only more stress on me, but just more stress on the people of my team because I could not articulate what was needed, because I was in such a fear state that I was actually just talking about what could happen versus what I wanted to happen. And so I will just say, if you keep talking, if you hear yourself talking about what could happen, what could happen, you are not focused on doing the things for what you want to happen. And so then guess what happens: the thing that could happen, because that's where your focus was, right? We had Brad Bizjak on the podcast, I think he brought this up on a podcast, where the most car accidents are in the rural areas and they hit a light pole, but there's hundreds of feet between light poles. How is this happening? Because they're focused on not hitting the light pole. Right? I want us to get out of the hyper-independence trap and actually move into some rituals for finding safety, that safe harbor. If you listened to the habit series, you know I like little tiny habits. So I want you to create micro-promises. I love the messy action, you're not not taking that, but you're not going big and bold and seeing what sticks to the wall. You're actually going to want to be taking tiny little actions, messy, right? Like, "I'm gonna do this thing and see how it goes," but instead of making this big all-or-nothing thing that can feel scary, especially if you're listening and you're over 40. If you're in your 20s, you can go big and bold and have the most fun, you should. If you're over 40 and you're like, "That stuff kind of scares me when you say that, Lesley," I feel you. That messy action doesn't have to be like quit everything. You don't have to quit it all. You can take a little micro-promise, you can make one little tiny action step today and see what that unveils and reveals. In episode 305, he said you can't see the whole staircase, but you can see the first step and you take it. So, take the first step, the first little action that you can know. It shows the next one, and then you'll start to see that you have the security that you're looking for to take more action and really build that trust in yourself, especially if you don't have it right now. Especially if you're like, "I wish I had the self-trust that you have." Well, then you have to take baby actions, you know, not the biggest mess, the tiny one, tiny, tiny. Lesley Logan 11:07  You also have to make sure you're taking time to regulate your nervous system. Talked about this before, like oh my gosh, sometimes you feel stuck, but you just have a dysregulated nervous system. Well, sometimes you feel nervous, feels unsafe, but you have a nervous system that's picking up on something. And I said it in the last episode, but you have to actually have non-negotiable daily practices for yourself that allow you to feel safe and secure. And I wouldn't do fluffy shit, I wouldn't go, "I'm safe, I'm secure." No, what makes you feel that way?Lesley Logan 11:38  Does it make you feel safe to have a wonderful bedroom that has no phones in it, that has the right lights at night, that you shut the door? What makes you feel safe and secure? Does it make you feel safe and secure if you check the bank account every day or once a week? What are the things that you need to do so you can actually ground down, right? And if you need even more, then there's somatic work you can do. So there's logistical, like financial check-ins, lock the door, have a friend that knows where you're at at all times, and then there's the somatic one, which is like maybe doing some breathwork or Pilates every day, something that moves your body that takes the stress out of your brain and your body, and connects your mind and body back together. It's really easy to tell ourselves some funky stuff in our brains, right? Lesley Logan 12:23  So, what we have to do is ultimately find a paradigm shift and move away from I feel safe when my bank account is X to I feel safe right now because I know how to navigate whatever comes, right? We have to really understand that there are going to be things that happen, and maybe it's not a bank account that makes you feel unsafe, but maybe it's a phone ringing, or maybe it's someone asking for a meeting but not telling you what it's for. There are so many different things that can all of a sudden make us feel like our boat, which was in a safe harbor, is now in a storm all of a sudden. So we, one, have to know what those things are about ourselves. For one of you it could be a bank account, for another it's a boss, for another it's a mentor. There are these different things that could happen that really just immediately dysregulate us and make us feel unsafe. So, if you know yourself, then you can go, okay, so then, what are the things that I can look to to be my north star, to be my compass, to be my anchor? What are those things? Because what ultimately will happen when you have those touchpoints is that you actually will stop fearing uncertainty, and you will finally have freedom to do all of the things you want to do, whatever that is. Lesley Logan 13:40  Because the reality is that we have six needs as humans: we need certainty and we need uncertainty. And my ADHD people, you need uncertainty, you love a little bit of change. I'm ADHD, so I need certainty, and I don't like it, I want everything to be exactly the same, and I want it to be different all of the time. And so just so you know, this was a really hard, hard thing. I think I had to hit my rock bottoms a few times so that I could actually go, "Whoa, I have survived 100% of hard days." And if I want to move this company to where I want it to be, if I want to be as big as it can be, if I want to have the impact that I want to have, which is impacting tens of thousands of people who love Pilates, then I cannot feel unsafe when shit hits the fan. I cannot, because it will just ruin my dreams. I will not ever get there. I hope this helps. I really do. And one last thing that really helps me is like just sometimes when you say things out loud, even to yourself: I feel very unsafe right now. I feel very worried right now. I feel this. And then you go, why? And if you start talking to yourself about those things, you start to realize, oh wait, hold on, there's this thing over there, this thing over here.Lesley Logan 15:00  And if you, oh my god, send in wins and you hear them on Fridays with me on a shitty day, you might just hear about a win you had and go, "Oh wait a minute, this bad thing's happening, but I had that thing happen there, I forgot." So all of a sudden you go from feeling unsafe and uncertain to feeling very secure and having that self-trust reminder. I want to do that for you, so send in your wins to beitpod.com/questions if you have topics you would like these little episodes to go into, please ask. If you want to talk more about one of the things that I said in these two episodes. Ask so that I know, and I'll make another episode. We'll go deeper. These are for you. They're definitely not for me. I talk to myself all day, my loves. So I want these to be for you. I want these to change your life. I want these to support you in everything that you're doing, because you're doing everything well. You're doing a great job. You're doing better than you give yourself credit for, and the world needs you. You are the only person who can do what you do the way that you do it. All right, until next time. Be It Till You See It. Lesley Logan 15:54  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.Brad Crowell 16:36  It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.Lesley Logan 16:41  It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.Brad Crowell 16:46  Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.Lesley Logan 16:53  Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.Brad Crowell 16:56  Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

In part one of this two-part safety series, Lesley Logan digs into why so many people tie their sense of safety to the money in their bank account. She traces where that wiring comes from, unpacks the difference between financial security and real emotional safety, and gets honest about the seasons every business and every life moves through. With warmth and a few hard-won stories, she offers a grounded way to feel steady. If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co mailto:beit@lesleylogan.co. And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.In this episode you will learn about:The 1974 credit law that still shapes women today.Why one slow week can make you feel like sinking.Where real safety lives when the money disappears.How broken promises to yourself erode your confidence.Reframing a hard season as evidence of a new season.Episode References/Links:Ep 352 ft Tess Waresmith - https://beitpod.com/ep352Ep 649 ft Tess Waresmith - https://beitpod.com/ep649Ep 53 ft Launa Jae - https://beitpod.com/ep53The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks - https://a.co/d/0aNfSwP7Submit your wins or questions - https://beitpod.com/questions If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSIDEALS! DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentCheck out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper's Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentBe in the know with all the workshops at OPC https://workshops.onlinepilatesclasses.com/lp-workshop-waitlistBe It Till You See It Podcast Survey https://pod.lesleylogan.co/be-it-podcasts-surveyBe a part of Lesley's Pilates Mentorship https://lesleylogan.co/elevate/FREE Ditching Busy Webinar https://ditchingbusy.com/Resources:Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gLesley Logan website https://lesleylogan.co/Be It Till You See It Podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjogqXLnfyhS5VlU4rdzlnQProfitable Pilates https://profitablepilates.com/about/Follow Us on Social Media:Instagram https://www.instagram.com/lesley.logan/The Be It Till You See It Podcast YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gFacebook https://www.facebook.com/llogan.pilatesLinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesley-logan/The OPC YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/@OnlinePilatesClasses Episode Transcript:Lesley Logan 0:00  Emotional safety and security comes from boundaries. Sometimes we blame it on the money, but it's really the people we're letting in our brains, letting rent space there, letting treat us a different way. So, you have to have some non-negotiables. You have to have daily practices that keep you grounded. So, no matter when the numbers fluctuate, you do these things anyways. Lesley Logan 0:19  Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast, where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world, and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity, and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guests will bring bold, executable, intrinsic, and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and be it till you see it. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.Lesley Logan 1:02  Hi, Be It babe. How are you? We're back with a solo series. This is going to be more of a safety series kind of a thing, but also talking about money and uncertainty. And I think I've had many of you in the DMs sharing how you're loving these solo episodes and sharing some of your wins and some of your questions and needs, and we thought that this would be a really fun series that we could probably build off of as time goes along. Where the series kind of starts is like, if you've ever looked at your bank account and then questioned your entire life, you're not alone, you're just not. The reality is that somehow we really conflated what is in our bank account with the certainty that we need in our life, and then we've equated uncertainty with feeling unsafe. This is not a money episode, although if you need to listen to some money episodes, our episodes with Tess Waresmith are amazing. But what I'm hoping that you get from today's episode and this two-part series is just that financial fluctuations are real, so you're not alone. It's totally normal to have that, and your financial fluctuations and personal safety are not always the same thing. They can be, and I understand, because not only have I been homeless, I have also seen what being unhoused over time can look like, and especially if you're a woman. So, I do understand that, but I do think it's important that we just have an honest conversation, maybe have a dialogue. I'd love to hear your thoughts on this, because there's a lot of different reasons why financial security makes us feel secure when it's actually not. Lesley Logan 2:33  In fact, in doing research for this episode, I was kind of like, I want to chat a bit about the history, especially in the States, but I think in most of the world, right? If you were a woman, you had to marry well so that you would have a house and, in air quotes, "safety and security." But if we read stories, we watch things like Game of Thrones, all these different things, we see historically how they treated women, but yet somehow we were conditioned that, well, that is the safe thing to do, and that's the safe thing to be in. The reality is, because women didn't have access to bank accounts, it was literally the Equal Credit Opportunity Act of 1974, women needed a male co-signer for credit. And so the reality is, like most of us listening to this, our mothers didn't even have access to their own credit card with their own name on it until they were probably sometime during the marriage to our parents or someone, right? So very few women had access to bank accounts. I had an eLevate member here who was sharing how her mother could not get money out of the bank account that her husband had to fix something because he was out of town, and this is like in the '50s and '60s, but that's not that far away.Lesley Logan 3:46  These are in the lifetimes of the people who raised us, and so, because of that upbringing in their minds, we have this generational feeling in our bones that money equals security. And so a lot of us, for better or for worse, have taken jobs or not taken jobs based on the security the money will give us, but that doesn't always mean that we are safe, right? That does not mean that the people that have that are going to treat you well, does not mean that that is the safest place for your personality and what your needs are. But I just want you to know, like, if you have that feeling and you're wondering, why can't I just let this go? Because I know there's money there. I know that I'm okay. I know that I have savings. I know this is a bad week, and this has nothing to do with who I am as a person. If you know that in your heart and it's hard to get into your head, you are not alone. It is this historical thing that we all have, and it's been raised into us. Lesley Logan 4:40  I remember not thinking I wanted to date this one person, but all the women around me going, "Oh my god, he has a great job and a great car, he's got like a legitimate career path," because I was a retail girly, and so what kind of career path did I have? Right, that's what they're really saying, but I was too young to really get that. Another reason why we can have these feelings and conflate financial security with certainty and safety is like that idea of being a good girl, traditional conditioning, being polite, and don't talk about money. And so if we don't talk about money, then we don't know what other women are making in the same field, and so we don't know that in some areas we're being undercharged or underpaid. In fact, if you remember when the Sony emails were hacked, all these people were able to see how much the men were getting paid for less lines than the women were getting paid. What it really reveals is the men asked for money and women didn't, and the women weren't asking other people what they were getting paid, so they didn't know that there was more money to ask for. Because we have to be the good girl, and if we're asking, then there must be something nefarious about asking, and so we then are conditioned to be polite, right? Lesley Logan 5:46  And so, if we go against that conditioning, we become an entrepreneur, we work for ourselves, we can constantly feel like we are in friction with society, like, "Ooh, am I allowed to negotiate? Am I allowed to charge more than other people? Am I allowed to have these boundaries, or should I just be grateful that these clients will pay what I want?" So then they can say that they want to come at a different time, and all of that stuff goes through our heads, and so you're just not alone, right? So this brings us to the brain and the business and the worth, but I know not all of you are working for yourself, so I want to just honor that you might be an employee, and there is some security in that, right? Like, our financial institutions definitely believe that if you have a W-2, you are more safe to give a loan to than someone like me. And I get so frustrated, not because I'm jealous of you or anything like that, we all have our different things that are going to work best for us. So, there's nothing wrong with being an employee versus being an entrepreneur. You should do what is right for you, but it does make me laugh that the bank thinks that's more secure when I know I can bet on myself, and companies can let go of people at any time. So we fool ourselves into what is technically, in air quotes, "safe" versus what could be safe, and it might be safer to be in a job, so just know that I'm not saying that. But in life every single day, there are these little tricks we play to make us think, "Oh, I'm safe now that I have this, now I'm safe," right? And we're not really getting to the root of what is safety, what is it, right? Lesley Logan 7:10  So let's get into some brain, business, and worth stuff. Entrepreneurship, most people in our lives have told us how it is the most uncertain thing, and it is. I'm just going to tell you right now, absolutely everything is, none of us are actually psychic, unless you are, right? So, the reality is, it doesn't matter if you work for yourself or someone else, it is uncertain always what's going to happen tomorrow. We don't know. And so I wanted to say, being a small business owner is really hard. It's fucking hard to compete with companies that have way more money, and also in the way that the customers expect a small business to be, because these big businesses can have your stuff within four hours to your house, and I have to take four days, right? And I have to charge you for shipping, and they don't, and so it's really hard, right? And so you can feel like you're constantly two steps forward, seven steps back, three steps forward, two steps back. You're just like, oh my god, sometimes you feel like you're just treading water and going backwards.Lesley Logan 8:07  Revenues do fluctuate, like clients change and seasons shift, and the thing is, no matter what business you're in, people are always like, "What's the safest thing?" It's like, what are you talking about? Every single business has a season, we as humans have seasons, the earth, the universe has seasons. So, there are seasons for harvest, and there are seasons for planting, and there are seasons for rest, which means the money is not going to be the same all the time, right? And so, then, until you can get to a place where you can trust in yourself and the seasons, you end up in this nervous system trap where your brain reads the vibes of a slow financial month as just physical danger, right? And our brain is primed to prioritize survival, and that's not a good long-term strategy, because what ends up happening is you will constantly be doing these random things to get money versus taking time from a regulated nervous system space to make decisions on your business that will help with the long haul. I had a business coach who told me this. She said, "Your business should be boring. This is not a place where you get entertainment." And so getting to have a boring business is really great, but the boring business that I have means that I know that April is a terrible financial month for us when it comes to income, and so is July. They just suck, and if we don't have great months going into April, and then between April and July, we could be fucked, right? And so we can scramble, and we've had that happen, because there are years that are just, oh my god, thank god for this year, and there are years going, "Okay, am I going to keep doing this?" But what we have to make sure with our nervous systems is that we're never just going off of vibes, we do need to make sure we're going off the data. And if your bank account is saying zero, then we actually need to go into the data of what brought your bank account there to zero. Oh, you invested in yourself. Oh, you paid this thing out, but this is coming in next week. Sometimes we forget that we planned for it, right? So, scarcity versus fact is something else we need to just take a moment.Lesley Logan 10:13  That brings us to that. So, like, it's really easy to catastrophize a shitty situation and jump like, "Well, that's gonna make that bad, and then that's gonna go bad." We're not gonna have time for that. And I definitely do this. If you have read The Big Leap, you know that one of the best ways to get yourself out of your genius zone is to worry. And when you take the shitty issue that you have of, "Oh, my bank account isn't reading the way I want," and then you catastrophize it, not only do you create doom and gloom loop stories, it makes it really hard to look at the actual data. And the actual data might show, "Oh, all these bills got paid, I am debt-free in this area over here, and my paycheck comes in 48 hours." Okay, great, you are slaying, you are in fact the opposite of unsafe, you are so secure, right? But we can forget the things that we did, especially my ADHD, high-achieving, over-achieving, perfectionist people, it's really easy to forget the plan when we check something out and it just hits a little differently than we expected it to.Lesley Logan 11:18  And then we have to just also talk about, a lot of times as women, how we have been raised to feel worthy, as opposed to just knowing we are worthy, are very different things. You know, there is so much that we tie into our identity of like, are we a good sister, are we a good daughter, are we a good friend, are we helping the people in our house, all the unpaid caregiving labor that women do, especially the daughters listening. I do have an episode coming out with a statistician on good daughtering, but there's just so much unpaid labor. But then we wrap our identity on the revenue we create, but if most of our time is spent with unpaid things, then we think we're not worthy, but in fact we're the most worthy person that anyone in our life has. We are worth so much to them, but we don't feel that way, because we think our worth is tied into the revenue of what's in our bank account and not to what we bring to the table, which is probably just so much more.Lesley Logan 12:04  And by the way, the way that society is going right now, this is fucking awful, right? It's like every other day that I pull up my Instagram, and there's some guy who's shitting on some guy who should be shat on, to be honest, who's talking about like, you know, she needs to carry the bags and take care of all the things, and my work is having the response of bringing the money in. It's like that is not a team. I mean, yes, you've delegated tasks, but that's just not how it goes. And to be honest, I fear for that girl in that video that I saw. So he makes all the money, and then what? What do you get when he moves on to somebody else? There's no security in that, that's why it was so uncertain and so unsafe for women for so long, who could not get jobs, who could not have bank accounts, who could not have credit cards, who could not get their names on deeds, they were not safe at all, right? Because they couldn't leave their husband, because where were they going to go? How'd they get money? He could leave at any time, and they'd have nothing, right? And, by the way, he's not safe, a lot of people died mysteriously because divorce wasn't a possibility, right? So we have to remember, ladies, like we are so much more worthy than what we are being paid for because of the worth we bring to the people in our lives, what we do for them, right?Lesley Logan 13:36  So don't make your bank account a report card on your value, because that's not what it is. And you know, I feel this, 2023 was this weird year, because we had this server issue, a bot sent infinite traffic to one of our servers, and it overwhelmed our server, and then to get rid of the thing that that bot was attacking, it caused our website to run like it was 2005. And so we had to rebuild a 1,000-page website as quickly as possible, and it fucked with our SEO and all this stuff, and it cost so much money, because that was not what we were anticipating on spending money on. At the same time, we were trying to wrap up buying this house, so to make sure we had all this money in our bank, and it was just so stressful. We actually ended up having, and then we have to pay our taxes at the same time, because you pay your taxes so we could have the deed on the house, like all these different things were going on. And we had the money for the taxes, we were not expecting to build a website when we were planning for that, and so just all these things hit at once. And there was this one other unforeseeable bill that was not $100, it was like thousands of dollars. And it just in that moment when we're buying this house that I get to sit in and I love so much, I couldn't have felt more rich and poor at the same time. Like, I can afford this house, and yet every dime I have is gone to make all of this stuff keep going, and we did have to borrow and put a thing on it, and give it to pay our friends and family back, with interest. That's the right thing to do. And it can affect your self-worth. You can feel embarrassed about it, or you can go, "Wow, this is a fucking shitty time. I have a friend or family member who can help me. I'm going to do the right thing, and I'm going to be out of this," right? And so there's no reason to be embarrassed, and I'm still great friends with the people who helped me out through that time. That wasn't the first time in my life when I had to ask for help, and none of those things make my worth less, right? It just actually helped me through a tough time, and you would do that for someone else if you could, and there will be a time when you have to, right? Lesley Logan 15:44  So the other thing when it comes to security and safety, and when you wrap it up with your money, my neurodivergent listeners, hello, I see you. We already live in overwhelm. There's already so much going on in our brain. Our brain is three steps ahead all the time, and so when you have some financial uncertainty, not only is it easier to go into catastrophe situations, but you can go there much faster than anybody else. You can amplify the heck out of it, and you could add shame and panic to that quicker than anybody. And the reality is that you have to fall into the data over the vibes, you have to pull yourself back. "Hold on, let's back it up, back it up. What is real? What do I know? What about this makes me feel unsafe, but what's actually true? What's the actual reality?" Lesley Logan 16:38  And so, my perfectionists, that all-or-nothing mindset: "My business is failing." Just because you have a slow week. It's not failing. You're jt having a slow week. If you're in the first couple years of any project you're doing, you don't know the seasons yet, so it makes it really difficult. And if you are working for yourself or you're taking a hobby to be a side hustle, and you don't take the time to really get clear about your self-worth and what matters, and what is going to be something you can lean on for certainty in your business, and what will always be uncertain, and how you're going to handle getting the data so that you don't go off the vibes.Lesley Logan 17:15  If you don't do that stuff, you're just going to live in a constant state of emotional dysregulation and decision fatigue, and you're not going to actually be able to... you're not gonna have fun. I mean, I'm not saying that work is always fun, but it shouldn't make you feel like shit, right? Whether you're an employee for someone or you work for yourself, we have to figure out what are the actual things that I can say make me feel safe. How can I request those at my place of work or in my life if I work for myself? What numbers am I going to go off of so that I know what's going on, so that I have a bit more predictability, right? What will always be a little uncertain in this business? And where can I have certainty? Here's why I have certainty: I will show up every day and work hard. I'm so certain of that. I am so certain that I am very resourceful. If this shit hits the fan and spews it on the walls, I can find new ways of cleaning it up, even if every other tool is gone. Like, I am a resourceful person. I have certainty that the human that I am and the way that I put things out into the world, people will always want what I've got. Now, I have uncertainty in when they will want that. I have uncertainty in, if I put it out there, will people buy it? I have uncertainty of when people are gonna be ready for the thing I have to offer. All that's uncertain. I cannot predict when people are ready to buy. I can't choose the people who are ready to listen to this podcast, but I can predict that I will show up to work tomorrow, right? And so I think that's really important. Lesley Logan 18:47  So that leads us into rewiring our brains for safety and those harder seasons, like we need a little toolkit. There's a difference between emotional safety and financial safety, they are two different things. And so while money can create stability, your emotional safety actually comes from internal self-trust, community, and boundaries. And I want to just talk about internal self-trust. That would be confidence. That's where a lot of people struggle the most, because they actually consistently, on little bitty things, failed to do what they said they were going to do. And because of those little tiny things, "I'm going to go for a walk in the morning. Oh, I'm going to get up and read this book. I'm going to journal..." and you don't do it, you are just carving out at your confidence, your self-trust, right? So it is important if you want to feel safe that you ditch the all-or-nothing mindset and commit to doing things that make you feel good in your life, or that you can do that are at doable dosages, right? Not like, "I'm going to work out every day for an hour" no one can say and do that, there's so many days I want to work, right? Lesley Logan 20:03  So, also, emotional safety and security comes from boundaries. Sometimes we blame it on the money, but it's really the people we're letting in our brains, letting rent space there, letting treat us a different way. So, you have to have some non-negotiables, you have to have daily practices that keep you grounded, no matter when the numbers fluctuate, you do these things anyways. You guys, I have so much work on my plate, so many things that I am excited about and equally stressed about, and I do not start working on them any earlier than my day starts with work, because my non-negotiables have to happen so that I can do that with love, grace, energy, stamina, endurance, excitement.Lesley Logan 20:46  If I come out to those jobs out of fear, out of rush, out of like, "I gotta get this done," then, like, no. My daily practices that keep me grounded allow me to show up and have emotional security, so no matter what is going on with the finance of the businesses, I know that I can show up and move the needle forward in the direction it has to go. And then if you're like, "I have all those things, and I still see the bank account in a certain way," then we need a little bit of a gentle reframe, right? We need to say, "What if this season I'm in is not evidence of failure, but instead just evidence that I'm in a different season?" right? Like, this is just a different season. I'm out of the other season, I'm in the new season right now. What if we reframe how we feel about things, and go, "Okay, so I invested X, Y, and Z in this, and so because I made that investment..." as opposed to, "I spent, ...I made that investment, I now will have these things coming to me on these dates," and then tell them this is what I'm going to be doing, right? Like, we have to change how we talk about ourselves and talk to ourselves, and talk about what we're doing in a way that is not toxic and gaslighty, but actually a pick-me-up, actually makes you feel like things are possible. Because if you don't, you're never going to feel safe in anything you do, whether you work for yourself or other people. It's just not going to work. You're going to constantly feel like you're sabotaging yourself, right? There are seasons, there are ebbs and flows. It is a real thing. And so, if nothing changed in your life but what the money in the bank account is, then how would you be any less safe than you were the day before? Lesley Logan 22:26  So, if you take nothing else away from our conversation today, I just want you to remember that your financial anxiety is not personal failure. It's part of a historical echo and a biological response, and you are building a system to help yourself in this world that wasn't built for us to have those systems, right? It's only in our generation that women are allowed to do the things that they're able to do, and so it is hard, and it is exhausting, and it is uncertain, and you're doing it, you're doing all the things. And so there are going to be days that feel like shit, but it doesn't mean you are shit. There's gonna be days that feel like failure, but you are not a failure. There are gonna be days that feel like they suck, but you don't suck, right? So, you have to take some time to write down what are the things that I can bet on, that I have certainty around, that I have security around. And when you're feeling like, "My bank account has shifted, and I'm fucked," you can look at those things and go, "Do I have these things still? Oh, I do. Okay, great. So, my bank account sucks, but I have all the things that I need right now." Knowing why we feel this way and why these things happen, it's helpful. It's half the battle. Lesley Logan 23:40  So, I know most of us are over 40 here. I know we also have some young listeners, hello, babes, I'm happy you're here. And we don't just need mindset shifting, like, I hope that this got your mindset to shift, we are going to need a new framework for safety. We have spent decades thinking safety means controlling every variable and overfunctioning and building a fortress of hyper-independence. And I'm not going to take away your independence. I want all of you who want to just live your life of independence that way. But also, I want you to have wonderful, amazing relationships, and that means friends who lift you up. It doesn't have to be partners in life that support your amazing boundaries, that can help be that reminder that everything is okay when you forget. And what if true safety isn't about ensuring nothing ever goes wrong?Lesley Logan 24:24  I kind of really want to get us all to what if true safety is knowing that you are entirely capable of navigating it when it does, right? Like I said, I have certainty around, like, if shit hits the fan, I can be resourceful. I want that's the security I want for you. So, in our next episode, we are going to dive into part two of this conversation. We are shifting from the brain and the history to the somatic and the strategic, and so we're going to kind of just dismantle the trap of doing things all alone, even if you are all alone, so that you can feel like you are safe wherever your harbor is, even when your revenue is going to fluctuate. And I love this quote, and it comes, I've heard it many times, but I know we heard it on our podcast a few times, and one of them was Launa Jae, and it's, "You've survived 100% of your hardest days so far." You have. So we have to start trusting our track record. Until then, Be It Till You See It. Lesley Logan 25:18  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.Brad Crowell 26:00  It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.Lesley Logan 26:05  It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.Brad Crowell 26:09  Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi..Lesley Logan 26:17  Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.Brad Crowell 26:20  Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time. Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

If you've ever caught yourself checking someone's face, tone, or mood to decide whether you're “okay,” you're not overreacting and you're not broken. In this episode I talk about the pattern behind that reflex and why it feels so intense during divorce and divorce recovery: emotional outsourcing, or the habit of sourcing safety, belonging, and self-worth from outside yourself instead of from within.I'll unpack how emotional outsourcing can masquerade as people pleasing, perfectionism, and codependency, and why those behaviors often make perfect sense when your nervous system has spent years in survival mode. I share how marriage can reinforce the cycle, especially when approval, emotional distance, or the silent treatment becomes the signal you use to measure your value. Then we look at why divorce can feel like the floor drops out, because the external “okayness” system disappears right when you need stability most.You'll hear a simple self-assessment for safety, worth, and belonging, plus a small practice you can use immediately. We also talk about the goal of interdependence, building inner emotional safety and self-esteem while still creating real connection with others.If you're ready to stop asking for permission to feel okay and start trusting yourself again, press play, then subscribe, share with a friend who needs it, and leave a rating or review. What's one place you notice yourself outsourcing your worth right now?To download your FREE "Becoming You Again Podcast Map" click here. To schedule your complimentary consult with Karin click here.Struggling after divorce to get to know yourself? Click here to grab my $7 guide to get started!If this podcast resonated with you in any way, please take a minute to follow and give me a rating wherever you listen to podcasts.

In this deeply moving episode of An Evolving Man Podcast, I speak with Masha Castner and David Moss, founders and directors of Kind Waves.Kind Waves is a UK charity created to help schools build deeper cultures of kindness, emotional safety and positive relationships. The charity was born from the heartbreaking death of Masha and David's 13-year-old daughter, Helena, known as Heli, who took her own life.Through their grief, Masha and David have become passionate advocates for changing the emotional culture around children, families, educators and school communities.In this conversation, we explore how many children suffer silently, why school pressure can become overwhelming, and how kindness is not simply about being nice. It is about creating environments where children and adults feel safe, seen, heard, valued and supported.We discuss:• The story behind Kind Waves• Heli's life and the heartbreak of losing her• Why many children suffer silently• The pressures facing young people in schools• Why kindness is different from niceness• The importance of emotional safety in schools• Why behaviour is often a nervous system response• How shame and humiliation affect children• Why teachers need support, not more pressure• How schools can build cultures of kindness• The importance of listening to children• How safe adults can make a life-changing difference• Social media, perfectionism and the pressure young people face• Why children need challenge without fear• How rest, creativity and connection support learningThis is a powerful conversation about grief, education, children's mental health, school culture and the urgent need to create kinder environments for young people.Kind Waves:https://kindwaves.org.uk/    @kindwavesukPiers Cross:https://www.piers-cross.com/#AnEvolvingManPodcast #KindWaves #KindnessInSchools #ChildrensMentalHealth #EmotionalSafety #CompassionateLeadership #SchoolCulture #MentalHealthAwarenessTimestamps00:00 Introduction to Masha Castner, David Moss and Kind Waves02:05 The story behind Kind Waves05:20 Heli's life and what her parents learned through grief09:10 Children suffering silently12:45 School pressure and young people's mental health16:30 Behaviour as a nervous system response20:15 Why punishment and shame can harm children24:40 The importance of emotional safety in schools29:05 How external voices become internal voices34:10 Positive challenge rather than pressure39:00 Social media, perfectionism and young people44:15 Safe adults, open doors and early support49:20 Rest, regulation and the school day53:10 Kindness versus niceness56:35 The vision for Kind Waves58:20 Where to find Kind Waves---Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community Many blessings, Piers Cross http://piers-cross.com/ 

Last week, we talked about what emotional insecurity looks like, the patterns that tell you safety is missing in a relationship. This week is about what comes next: what actually creates emotional safety. Emotionally safe relationships do not just happen by accident.  They are built through small, consistent behaviors over time. Trust, respect, honesty, and repair are skills, not lucky outcomes.  Here are six things you can practice to build more emotional safety in the relationships that matter most to you. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/843

Why do small disagreements sometimes turn into huge arguments?In Part 2 of our Emotional Safety series, licensed therapists and married couple Tarah and E.J. Kerwin explore why conflict can feel so overwhelming—and what emotionally safe couples do differently.Using a real disagreement they experienced just before recording this episode, they break down the practical skills that help couples move from defensiveness and blame to understanding and repair.In this episode, you'll learn:Why your nervous systems—not just your words—can escalate conflictHow to stop trying to "win" an argument and start understanding each otherWhy emotional regulation is the first step to productive communicationHow validation creates emotional safety, even when you disagreePractical ways to repair after conflict instead of staying stuck in resentmentConflict doesn't have to push you apart. With the right tools, it can become an opportunity to build trust, strengthen connection, and create a safer, healthier relationship.If you haven't already, be sure to listen to Part 1: Why You Feel Lonely In Your Relationship (Emotional Safety Part 1) for the foundation of emotional safety and why it matters.If this episode resonated with you, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who wants a stronger relationship.

Are you struggling with a sexless marriage? Learn the four core reasons intimacy fades and get actionable steps to fix it today.A sexless marriage is more common than you think, but it does not have to be permanent. In this video, I break down the four primary reasons relationships lose their spark and provide specific strategies to help you reignite intimacy. Whether you are feeling disconnected or simply stuck in a rut, understanding the root causes is the first step toward lasting change.My approach is based on years of coaching thousands of individuals on how to heal trauma and build fulfilling, loving connections. I will guide you through four practical exercises you can start using immediately to shift the dynamic in your partnership. This is for anyone ready to do the work required to restore polarity and passion.If you want to move past the frustration of a sexless relationship and build a healthier bond, this session provides a clear roadmap. I focus on actionable marriage coaching techniques that prioritize long-term connection over quick fixes.Subscribe for weekly relationship advice breakdowns to help you navigate modern dating and marriage. Comment below with one specific challenge you are currently facing in your partnership.

Feeling safe in a relationship isn't just about talking things through—it's about what happens deep within our bodies. When emotional wounds strike or betrayals occur, the impact is felt not only in the heart but in the nervous system, shifting how we experience and respond to our partners. Real healing goes beyond surface-level dialogue and requires us to understand how our physiological state shapes our sense of security, trust, and connection. In this episode, listeners are guided to rethink emotional safety as a whole-body experience. By unpacking the link between the nervous system and relationship repair, the discussion provides science-backed insights and actionable strategies to rebuild trust and connection after relational harm. Whether you're seeking healing after a rupture or tools for ongoing growth, this episode offers a fresh, embodied perspective on what it takes to create lasting emotional safety. Dr. Monique Thompson is a trauma-informed therapist, life coach, and best-selling author with over two decades of clinical experience. Her work integrates Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), Brainspotting, Internal Family Systems (IFS), Polyvagal-informed care, and principles of epigenetics to help individuals and couples heal trauma, rebuild trust, and create lasting emotional regulation and resilience.   Episode Highlights 03:56 Reflecting on healing through a car wreck metaphor. 09:09 Exploring Jill Bo Taylor's groundbreaking insights. 15:37 Exploring modern infidelity in relationships. 17:57 Exploring complex relationship dynamics and boundaries. 20:25 Addressing hidden relationship issues. 24:38 Exploring the hidden mental health benefits of walking. 28:35 Exploring color connections to mood during walks. 31:51 Reflecting on and expressing gratitude with loved ones. 36:12 Decoding therapy lingo and referral insights. 39:36 Navigating decisions with trauma awareness. 43:34 Navigating healing after childhood trauma. 48:58 Exploring stress and its hidden effects. 50:29 Exploring the concept of emotional hygiene. 53:32 Discovering unexpected insights from partners who cheated. 57:04 Exploring relationship growth resources.   Your Checklist of Actions to Take Pause and Breathe: Take a moment of pause with deep breaths to settle yourself and become present before addressing relationship issues. Self-Inquiry: Regularly check in with your deeper feelings and truths, beyond your immediate surface reactions, to get clarity on your emotional state. Take Ownership: If you've contributed to a rupture, take personal responsibility and reflect on the most obvious way you can begin repair, such as ending harmful behaviors. Prioritize Emotional Check-ins: After a rupture or betrayal, consistently check in emotionally with both yourself and your partner to stay aware of what you both need. Spend Time in Nature: Set aside at least 11 minutes outside, either walking or sitting, to help lower stress levels and support nervous system regulation. Engage in Movement: Use mindful walks of 30-45 minutes to process emotions and shift your physiological state toward calm and self-connection. Invite Supportive Companions: Bring to mind or reach out to someone who has supported you in the past, letting their positive influence help regulate your emotions. Seek Professional Guidance: If trauma or recurring ruptures persist, consult a trauma-informed therapist or coach, asking for specific referrals rather than relying on generic online searches.   Mentioned Infidelity Recovery Workbook for Couples (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) My stroke of insight (TED) (video) Helen Fisher (website) Polyvagal Theory (website) Gottman Institute (website) Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Depression 12 Relationship Principles to Strengthen Your Love (free guide)   Connect with Dr. Monique Thompson Website: doctormoniquethompson.com Facebook: facebook.com/MoniqueThompsonLPC YouTube: youtube.com/@mthompsonlpc Instagram: instagram.com/drmoniquethompson LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/dr-monique-thompson-dha-lpc-lpc-s-a3066041  

Ever wonder why we swap vulnerability for anger, or why a simple disagreement can feel like a threat to your entire relationship? In Episode 360 of Through a Therapist's Eyes, we unlock the invisible force that determines whether your relationships thrive or fracture: emotional safety. We dive into why humans swap "I'm hurt" for "You never listen," how subtle relationship killers like invalidation quietly erode trust, and how the core principles of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) can completely rewrite your connection with partners and children alike. Tune in for a raw look at what it truly takes to dismantle your defenses and build a bond safe enough for reality. Tune in to see Emotional Safety Through a Therapist's Eyes.

9 months after moving to New Zealand, I noticed that while part of me was excited about this new chapter, another part was still scanning for danger around every corner, making it difficult to fully relax.In this episode I share how I used IFS (Internal Family Systems) to work with the fear that was showing up in my body, what emotional safety really means, and why trying to “fix” ourselves often doesn't work. I also explain the basics of IFS in a simple way and share the story of the little soldier who thought we were still at war.If you've ever wanted something deeply while another part of you was terrified to take the next step, this episode is for you.

Have you ever wondered, "Can I really trust this person?"Trust is the foundation of every healthy friendship, but knowing who to trust—and when to trust them—isn't always easy. Maybe you've been betrayed before, had your boundaries ignored, or watched someone disappear when life got hard.In this video, I'm sharing the biggest signs I look for when deciding whether someone is truly trustworthy.Get your "12 Questions to Ask Before You End the Friendship" Guide for FREE here!Support the showWant to work with Zoe 1-on-1 for personalized friendship coaching for that extra push and source of accountability? Zoe has limited slots available on a rolling basis, so please email contact@accidentallyintentional.com (subject line: COACH ME) and the team will be in touch with next steps!Subscribe to the Leveled Up Friendships YouTube channel!

This week's deep dive is FREE for everyone, and we mean everyone. Whether you're a longtime Collective member or brand new here, this one's a gift. We're going deeper into emotional processing containers, but this time we're breaking it down by Enneagram type. We cover every type in marriage: what backfires for each, what container works best, and how to create emotional safety with your specific spouse in your specific dynamic. This is the most practical, type-by-type episode we've done in the Summer of Intimacy series - and we wanted every listener to have access to it. No subscription required this week, t's a topic everyone desperately needs. Show notes:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Get on the waitlist so you can get info about our Awakening Intimacy Intensive!⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Get your E + M Love Map Questions Freebie here!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Stay tuned for our Summer Intensives, Awakening Intimacy (track 1) and Awakening Adventure (track 2) beginning the week of July 13! Scroll down on our podcast page to find episodes on intimacy ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ https://www.enneagramandmarriage.com/pod Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.EnneagramandMarriage.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ here!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Get Christa's Best-Selling Book, The Enneagram in Marriage, here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://a.co/d/df8SxVx Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Sheri and Matt have covered the ways emotional safety improves relationship dynamic for the person on the receiving end: nervous system regulation, peace and relaxation, and comfort being authentic and vulnerable. In this episode, they consider the benefits for the person providing the emotional safety. Don’t do it just for her. Do it for yourself, too. Please go to UntoxicatedSurvey.org to better understand the impact of alcohol and/or emotional abuse on you and your family. Whether you are the drinker or the partner, whether you feel a lack of emotional safety or don't really know what that means, we can help you feel supported. Take the survey and learn more about our Echoes of Recovery and SHOUT Sobriety programs. You've got this, and we've got you.

In this powerful conversation, Rebecca Zung sits down with Dr. Nicole LePera, bestselling author and founder of The Holistic Psychologist, to explore how childhood experiences continue to shape our emotions, relationships, behaviors, and sense of self in adulthood. Dr. LePera explains the concept of reparenting your inner child, revealing how trauma, people-pleasing, perfectionism, anxiety, and emotional triggers are often rooted in early survival patterns. Learn practical tools for nervous system regulation, emotional healing, self-compassion, and breaking generational cycles so you can create healthier relationships, stronger boundaries, and lasting personal transformation. CHAPTERS 00:00 Introduction 02:03 What Is the Inner Child? 06:35 How Childhood Experiences Shape Adult Behavior 11:10 Amygdala Hijack and Emotional Reactions 16:50 High-Conflict Personalities and Survival Responses 24:28 Understanding the Nervous System in Conflict 31:22 The Six Childhood Trauma Archetypes 40:04 Trauma, Emotional Safety, and Childhood Development 46:12 Epigenetics and Generational Healing 53:18 Coping Versus True Healing 01:02:03 Why Childhood Photos Can Unlock Healing 01:09:22 Perfectionism, Achievement, and Self-Worth 01:16:15 Building Awareness Through Conscious Check-Ins 01:22:45 Nervous System Regulation and Breathwork 01:28:10 Why Growth Feels Uncomfortable 01:33:05 Practical Steps to Reparent Your Inner Child 01:38:30 Self-Compassion, Healing, and Personal Transformation 01:42:15 Final Thoughts and Resources

Welcome back to Raising Confident Girls. In this episode, Melissa Jones explores something many moms notice when school ends: their daughter suddenly seems different. Maybe she's moodier, more emotional, more withdrawn, or surprisingly happier and more relaxed.Melissa explains why these shifts are often a normal part of emotional decompression after months of academics, friendships, activities, and social pressures. What can look like attitude, boredom, clinginess, or withdrawal is often a girl's nervous system adjusting to a new season.In this episode, we explore:Why girls often react differently when school endsWhat emotional decompression can look likeWhy some girls seem heavier emotionally while others seem lighterHow to respond with connection instead of immediately trying to fixWhy emotional safety matters during transitionsSimple ways to support your daughter as she settles into summerJoin Melissa for a reassuring conversation about helping your daughter navigate the transition into summer with understanding, patience, and connection.Download the Quick Tips PDF of today's episode for future reference.If you know a parent who could benefit from this conversation, share this episode with them! Let's work together to raise the next generation of confident girls.We are looking for special people like you to help send a Girl to camp this summer. If you feel it in your heart, please click the link here. Every donation, no matter the size helps!Melissa's Links:• Website • Instagram • Facebook• TikTok• LinkedIn

In Part 2 of our series on caretaking in relationships, we move beyond identifying the problem and begin helping couples understand how to actually heal the disconnection it creates.Caretaking often looks loving on the surface — avoiding conflict, protecting your partner's feelings, holding things in to “keep the peace.” But underneath, it quietly erodes emotional safety, trust, intimacy, and connection.In this episode, EJ and Tarah walk couples through:How to recognize when something is being emotionally withheldWhy many partners can sense when something feels “off”The difference between caretaking and true emotional safetyHow avoiding difficult conversations creates loneliness inside relationshipsThe importance of emotional transparency and nervous system regulationHow to create healthy agreements around checking in with each otherWhy emotional safety is built through honesty, not perfectionHow couples learn to face discomfort together instead of protecting themselves from each otherTarah and EJ also vulnerably share how this dynamic showed up in their own marriage around intimacy, co-parenting, anxiety, and emotional communication — and how learning to stay connected through difficult moments transformed their relationship.If you've ever felt:like something was unsaid in your relationshipemotionally alone while still being togetheranxious, disconnected, or stuck in conflict avoidanceafraid to bring up difficult topicsexhausted by walking on eggshells…this episode is for you.Because the goal in healthy relationships isn't avoiding discomfort. It's learning how to stay connected through it together.

Confident Conversations: Teaching Children Healthy Intimacy, Connection, and Emotional Safety (with Dan Oakes) Summary In this episode of the Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner sits down with Dan Oakes to discuss parenting, healthy sexuality, emotional connection, and prevention in today's digital culture. Dan shares insights from his new book, Confident Conversations: Teaching Your Children to Develop Healthy Intimacy, which helps parents navigate difficult but essential conversations about sexuality, intimacy, attachment, and emotional regulation. Together, they explore how many parents feel uncomfortable discussing sexuality because they themselves were never taught how to approach these conversations in healthy, emotionally connected ways. The discussion reframes sexuality not as something shameful, but as a normal human drive connected to attachment, connection, and emotional intimacy. Dan explains how shame becomes attached to core human urges and how this can create cycles of restriction, secrecy, binge behaviors, anxiety, and compulsive pornography use. Using relatable metaphors and attachment-based principles, the conversation highlights the importance of replacing shame with openness, emotional safety, and co-regulation. The episode also explores: the connection between shame and anxiety, how pornography functions as a “supernormal stimulus,” why novelty and dopamine influence compulsive behaviors, the importance of emotional connection in prevention, and how parents can build trust and emotional safety with their children. Dan shares five foundational parenting principles from his book: Build trust above all else Protect the home environment Teach progressive developmental facts early Model healthy affection Respond with calm rather than fear or shame Throughout the conversation, Dr. Skinner and Dan emphasize that prevention begins with connection, emotional safety, and courageous conversations. The episode offers practical guidance for parents, grandparents, therapists, and educators seeking to help children develop healthy intimacy, emotional resilience, and meaningful human connection in a highly digital world. Resources & References Mentioned Book Confident Conversations: Teaching Your Children to Develop Healthy Intimacy — Dan Oakes Researchers & Concepts Sue Johnson — attachment and emotional responsiveness Niko Tinbergen — supernormal stimulus theory Co-regulation and auto-regulation research Attachment and emotional bonding principles Novelty, dopamine, and compulsive behavior research Shame cycles and compulsive sexual behavior patterns Key Topics Discussed Parenting and healthy sexuality Shame versus healthy sexual development Emotional regulation and attachment Pornography and supernormal stimuli Anxiety, shame, and compulsive behaviors Co-regulation and self-regulation Human intimacy and emotional connection Prevention strategies for pornography addiction Building trust with children Healthy affection and attachment Digital culture and emotional isolation Emotional safety in families

 This episode is brought to you by WHOOP, Timeline and  Audible. Poet, speaker, and transformational coach Adam Roa breaks down the modern crisis of masculinity, emotional safety, conscious relationships, and the hidden ways people abandon themselves in pursuit of comfort, validation, and love. This conversation explores why so many men feel lost, angry, disconnected, and emotionally shut down, how unresolved wounds show up in relationships, and why healing doesn't happen in isolation — it happens through safe connection. Adam shares powerful insights on balancing masculine and feminine energy, the difference between fireworks and mature love, why creativity is a wellness practice, and how saying "yes" to small intuitive nudges ultimately transformed his life and career. From conscious communication to emotional resilience, purpose, relationships, creativity, and modern masculinity, this episode is a deep exploration into what it actually means to become fully embodied and move Ever Forward. Follow Adam @adam.roa Follow Chase @chase_chewning ----- 00:00 – Why So Many Men Feel Lost, Angry & Emotionally Shut Down 01:36 – Adam Roa on Self-Love, Triggers & Conscious Relationships 04:20 – What a Truly Conscious Relationship Actually Looks Like 06:00 – Why You Don't Need to Be "Fully Healed" Before Love 09:10 – Emotional Safety & Learning to Communicate Honestly 13:05 – Masculinity, Modern Dating & Mixed Signals for Men 16:03 – Why Relationships Can't Make You Happy 18:21 – The Dangerous Fantasy of "Movie Love" 23:45 – The Hidden Expectations We Bring Into Relationships 24:25 – Personal Development & Rewriting Your Internal Stories 27:06 – Why Creativity Is a Wellness Practice 28:18 – Adam's Journey from Suppression to Spoken Word Poetry 32:06 – The Viral Poem That Changed Adam Roa's Life 33:23 – The Power of Saying "Yes" to Your Calling 34:03 – Why People Abandon Themselves Instead of Taking the Next Step 38:30 – Growth, Discomfort & Emotional Resilience 40:19 – The Biggest Lie Men Have Been Told About Strength 43:43 – Emotional Safety in Relationships & Masculine Leadership 47:24 – Communication Frameworks That Actually Work 50:10 – Masculinity Retreats, Men's Work & Emotional Capacity 52:03 – Why Warriors Historically Had to Be Poets 54:04 – The Yin & Yang of Masculinity and Emotional Balance 57:01 – King, Warrior, Magician, Lover & Male Archetypes 01:00:10 – Adam on Identity Shifts, Creativity & Reinvention 01:05:30 – Rapid Fire: Truth, Expression, Safety & Aliveness 01:08:19 – Why Simplicity Matters More Than Ever Today 01:11:00 – What "Ever Forward" Means to Adam Roa ----- Episode resources: Watch and subscribe on YouTube Learn more about Adam WHOOP: Track sleep, recovery, stress, HRV, training performance, and daily readiness with the wearable Chase has trusted for years Timeline Nutrition Mitopure: Support mitochondrial health, recovery, strength, endurance, and healthy aging with Mitopure Audible Free 30-Day Trial: Free 30-day Audible trial and start listening to audiobooks on the go

Do you replay conversations in your head, explain yourself too much, or apologize for things that don't really need an apology? These patterns can feel like personality traits, but often they're signs of something deeper happening underneath. In this episode, I discuss why overthinking, overexplaining, overapologizing, and peacekeeping behaviors are often connected to people-pleasing, emotional safety, and fear of disapproval. We talk about the subtle phrases many women use every day, what these patterns may reveal, and how greater awareness can help you begin responding with more confidence, honesty, and freedom in your relationships. WHAT YOU'LL LEARN [00:00] Why Overexplaining and Overapologizing Are More Connected Than They Seem [03:00] What Is Overthinking Really Trying to Protect You From? [07:00] Why Do We Feel the Need to Overexplain Ourselves? [10:00] How Overapologizing Can Reveal a Fear of Being a Bother [14:00] The Everyday Phrases That Reveal Hidden People-Pleasing Patterns [20:00] Are These Communication Habits Actually a Form of Control? [24:00] Why Peacekeeping Can Cost You Honesty and Emotional Freedom [28:00] How Awareness Helps You Start Changing These Patterns with Confidence RESOURCES: The People Pleasing Mindset Makeover is an 8-session one-on-one coaching process designed to help women understand the deeper roots of people-pleasing, rewire unhealthy patterns, and build healthier emotional responses through brain science, biblical truth, and practical tools. Learn more or apply here:

When it comes to parenting, there is no shortage of generational trauma cycle breaking to be addressed. Sheri and Matt talk about the two-generation cycle breaking they are working on with their kids, to implement 100% emotional safety after years of alcoholism, emotional abuse, and Matt’s mindset that it was his job to make his kids tough and resilient. They also talk about cats and Hawaiian shirts and grad parties. Please go to UntoxicatedSurvey.org to better understand the impact of alcohol and/or emotional abuse on you and your family. Whether you are the drinker or the partner, whether you feel a lack of emotional safety or don't really know what that means, we can help you feel supported. Take the survey and learn more about our Echoes of Recovery and SHOUT Sobriety programs. You've got this, and we've got you.

Send us Fan MailThere's a particular kind of loneliness that happens inside a relationship, not outside of it. You still share a home, a bed, a life. But somewhere along the way, you stopped really talking. Not the logistics, those still happen. The real things. The thoughts you used to share without thinking twice now get held back. You measure your words. You wait for a better moment that never quite comes.If that feels familiar, this episode is for you.In this fan-favorite replay, Staci, Tom, and Brooke unpack emotional safety, what it actually is, how it quietly erodes, and why its absence is so often mistaken for the end of love. You'll learn why no amount of begging or pushing can pull honesty out of someone who doesn't feel safe, what's really happening when a couple drifts into feeling like roommates, and how emotional safety can be rebuilt, slowly, and on purpose.Staci shares the simple balloon metaphor that reframes every hard conversation, the role of permission in healthy communication, and an honest, vulnerable story from Brooke's first marriage about what can dismantle emotional safety in an instant.Whether your relationship is thriving, strained, or somewhere in emotional limbo, this conversation will help you see your silence, your conflict, and your distance in a completely new way.What You'll LearnWhat emotional safety is, and why it's the foundation beneath every healthy relationshipThe small, often invisible ways emotional safety erodes over timeWhy begging, pushing, or prodding a partner to "just talk" almost always backfiresThe two survival responses: shutting down (collapse) and attacking (control)What it really means when a couple starts to feel like roommatesHow to rebuild emotional safety through permission, practice, and small repeated winsWhy we tend to hurt the people we love the most, and how to interrupt that patterTake the Better Love QuizWondering where your own relationship actually stands right now? The Better Love Quiz is a free, few-minute assessment that walks you through the real skills that keep love steady: knowing yourself, staying grounded when triggered, holding boundaries, communicating clearly, and repairing after conflict. When you finish, it shows you where you're already strong, where the strain is coming from, and what kind of support would help you most.Take the quiz: betterlovequiz.comTimestamps: 04:13 Emotional Safety Explained05:25 How Safety Erodes07:44 Punishing Honesty09:37 The Mess Metaphor11:35 Safety First Principle14:26 Building Safety Over Time18:53 Dating Shows We Know21:29 When Safety Is Gone22:38 Rebuilding Is Possible24:51 Balloon Metaphor26:54 Catching the Leak28:36 Permission Over Defensiveness30:34 Emotional Pushups Practice31:42 Hard Truths Example35:58 Fragile and Sacred Safety37:29 Investing in Love Daily49:00 Quiz and Farewell

In part two of this series, Sarah explores what healing actually looks like after years of living in fight, flight, freeze, or fawn mode. Why can calm feel uncomfortable? What does a regulated nervous system actually feel like? And how do you stop treating emotional chaos like chemistry? This episode breaks down the biological opposites of survival mode: rest, digest, connect, and create. Sarah also discusses boundaries, co-regulation, people pleasing, emotional safety, and how healing changes the way we experience love, conflict, and connection. If you've ever struggled to relax in relationships, felt emotionally addicted to inconsistency, or wondered why healthy love can feel unfamiliar, this episode is for you.Download HILY Dating App from the App Store or Google Play, or visit https://hily.go.link/d31uDDISCLAIMER: This podcast offers information for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice. Always consult a qualified mental health provider for medical or mental health concerns. The host, guests, and network disclaim responsibility for any decisions or actions you make based on information provided by this podcast.TDM-RESERVATION: 1. NOAI: TRUE. LEGAL NOTICE & TERMS OF USE: © 2026 WAVE Podcast Network. This content is for personal use only. Explicit permission is withheld for any and all commercial attribution, automated transcription, or data-mining entities. Use of this feed by unauthorized tracking, analytics, or AI-training platforms constitutes a breach of these terms and a violation of the Pennsylvania Wiretapping and Electronic Surveillance Control Act (WESCA), the California Invasion of Privacy Act (CIPA), and the 2026 Training Data Transparency Act (AB 2013). Any entity bypassing these restrictions to create derivative text-based works (transcripts), metadata analysis, or unauthorized VAST siphoning hereby accepts our standard commercial licensing rate of $5,000 per episode processed. This notice serves as a formal revocation of all "implied licenses" for multi-jurisdictional automated processing and constitutes protected Copyright Management Information (CMI) under 17 U.S.C. § 1202.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Text us, We would love to her from YOU!Note: This episode includes discussion of trauma, PTSD, psychiatric treatment, and sexual assault recovery.In this deeply personal conversation, Dr. Sandra Marie speaks with Elle Ivey, who shares her journey navigating trauma, including surviving sexual assault, alongside complex PTSD, spiritual awakening, intuition, and mental health recovery.Elle discusses a spontaneous spiritual awakening that occurred while receiving inpatient psychiatric treatment during the pandemic, after unresolved trauma and PTSD resurfaced through intense body memories and emotional overwhelm.The conversation explores: body memory and trauma responses  intuition vs. mental health overwhelm  emotional safety during awakening experiences  mediumship and spirit communication  toxic positivity and spiritual bypassing  agape love, compassion, and self-parenting  psychic sensitivity and energetic boundaries  light language and spiritual remembrance  learning to trust intuitive experiences without losing grounding Elle also discusses her emerging platform, Beyond the Leaves. Together, the conversation offers a thoughtful exploration of what can happen when trauma, spirituality, healing, and intuition intersect in ways society does not always understand.LinksBeyond the Leaves with Elle IveyE-mail: Beyondtheleavesconnections@gmail.comMessy Midlife: Honest conversations about hormones, identity, and change.Three naturopathic doctors. One therapist. Unfiltered talks about the midlife transition.Listen on: Apple Podcasts SpotifyPlease subscribe and follow the show to stay updated on new releases. If this episode resonated, feel free to share it with someone who may enjoy or benefit.Support Happy Hour for the Spiritually CuriousWildSoulsGathering.comEmbrace YOUR Wild Soul!https://www.youtube.com/@wildsoulgatheringhttps://www.tiktok.com/@spirituallycurioushttps://www.twitter.com/@soul_gatheringshttps://www.instagram.com/wildsoulgatheringshttps://www.facebook.com/groups/669456900799583

Emotional Safety After Betrayal: Understanding Emotions, Trauma, and Relationship Healing Podcast Summary In this episode of the Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis explore the connection between emotional safety, betrayal trauma, emotional regulation, and relationship healing after infidelity or sexual betrayal. Many individuals struggling with betrayal trauma, anxiety, emotional disconnection, or relationship conflict often suppress their true emotions by saying “I'm fine” while internally feeling overwhelmed, hurt, angry, anxious, or emotionally exhausted. In this conversation, Dr. Skinner and MaryAnn discuss why emotional honesty and emotional congruency are essential for rebuilding trust, emotional intimacy, and healthy communication in relationships. The episode examines how shame, emotional shutdown, avoidance, and trauma responses interfere with connection and healing. Listeners will also learn about emotional contagion, nervous system regulation, co-regulation, and the importance of creating emotionally safe relationships where both partners can openly express their feelings without fear of judgment, defensiveness, or rejection. Topics discussed include: Betrayal trauma recovery Healing after infidelity Emotional regulation in relationships Relationship communication skills Emotional safety and trust rebuilding PTSD symptoms after betrayal Emotional disconnection in marriage Co-regulation and nervous system healing Shame and emotional shutdown Understanding contradictory emotions after betrayal Emotional intelligence and self-awareness How unresolved emotions impact intimacy and connection Whether you are recovering from betrayal trauma, struggling with emotional intimacy, or trying to strengthen communication in your relationship, this episode provides practical insights into understanding emotions, rebuilding trust, and creating deeper human connection. Resources Mentioned in This Episode Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman A foundational book on emotional awareness, emotional regulation, empathy, and developing healthier relationship skills. The Choice by Edith Eger Discusses emotional healing, resilience, trauma recovery, and understanding core emotional experiences. The work of Brené Brown Especially her research on vulnerability, shame, emotional connection, and authentic relationships. Stephen Porges and Polyvagal Theory Understanding nervous system regulation, emotional safety, co-regulation, and trauma responses in relationships. Thich Nhat Hanh Referenced for his teachings on deep listening, mindfulness, emotional presence, and compassionate communication. Al Siebert Concepts on resiliency, emotional flexibility, and the “both/and” approach to emotional experiences. The Intimacy Repair Method (IRM) Course A structured framework designed to help couples heal from betrayal trauma, rebuild emotional safety, improve communication, and strengthen intimacy. Human Intimacy Resources and Courses Human Intimacy Additional Resources for Betrayal Trauma & Relationship Healing Attached by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller Understanding attachment styles, emotional needs, and relationship dynamics. The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk A leading resource on trauma, nervous system responses, emotional regulation, and healing. Hold Me Tight by Sue Johnson A guide to emotional bonding, attachment, and strengthening relationships after emotional injuries. Addo Therapy & Recovery Resources Therapy, betrayal trauma recovery support, couples counseling, anxiety treatment, mindfulness resources, and emotional healing support.

What does healing from people-pleasing look like in real life, not just at the beginning, but years later? In this episode, I share my personal story of people-pleasing, where these patterns began for me, how God brought healing, and what it looks like now to live on the “maintenance side” of emotional healing. We talk about fear of abandonment, over-functioning in relationships, parenting adult children, nervous system vigilance, and the ongoing process of learning how to stay grounded in safety and trust instead of falling back into old survival patterns. WHAT YOU'LL LEARN [00:00] What Healing from People-Pleasing Actually Looks Like Over Time [03:00] The Fear Underneath My People-Pleasing Patterns [05:00] How Parenting Adult Children Triggered Old Patterns Again [07:00] Why People-Pleasing Is Really About Safety + Emotional Survival [10:00] The Family Roles That Quietly Shape Identity [13:00] How Childhood Survival Patterns Affect the Nervous System [16:00] The Medical Crisis That Forced Me to Look at These Patterns [19:00] Why Over-Functioning Can Feel Like Love [22:00] The Anchor Analogy God Keeps Bringing Me Back To [25:00] What It Means to Live on the “Maintenance Side” of Healing  RESOURCES: The People Pleasing Mindset Makeover is an 8-session one-on-one coaching process designed to help women understand the deeper roots of people-pleasing, rewire unhealthy patterns, and build healthier emotional responses through brain science, biblical truth, and practical tools. Learn more or apply here:

A calming meditation with gentle Inner Child healing for emotional safety and self-trust - with Taoist monk and teacher, David James Lees.In this guided meditation on gentle reparenting and Inner Child healing, we explore how to create emotional safety, self-trust and calm authority within yourself — without pressure, force or self-criticism.Drawing on Taoist wisdom, mindfulness and emotional healing principles, this meditation helps you reconnect with your Shen (your calm spiritual essence), regulate emotional triggers, release urgency, and build inner peace through steady self-guidance and self-awareness.The meditation is ideal for soothing emotional overwhelm, and supporting self-love, reparenting work and personal growth.⚠️ PLEASE DO NOT LISTEN TO THIS MEDITATION WHILE DRIVING OR OPERATING MACHINERYThis meditation can be practised daily or whenever you need it. Learn more about our online consultations, events, books and audio teachings: https://www.wuweiwisdom.comSubscribe to David's FREE Journal: https://davidjameslees.substack.com/Other teachings and guided meditations you may enjoy: Reparenting Yourself Without Force: How to Heal the Inner Child Gently https://youtu.be/YC2kzpZs3pI?si=ROup6Y9f_SIvIyErGUIDED MEDITATION PLAYLIST https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PL9NQ_PWX4zIA12P7BftG6a18lIWFDjL35&si=bWWub6YyoZpXhFubLOVE & RELATIONSHIPS PLAYLIST https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PL9NQ_PWX4zID3yxrdCbbZFuKHCwgV6qhX&si=-zdah_z6MiSZIl0tIs there a question you'd like answered on the show? Submit it at: https://bit.ly/askusyourquestion Join our free Wu Wei Wisdom Community Facebook support group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/wuweiwisdomcommunity  If you love our work, you can now make a small donation to help fund the continued production of our weekly teachings by buying us a 'virtual coffee'! https://www.buymeacoffee.com/wuweiwisdom Book an online Golden Thread Process & Inner Child Consultation with David: https://www.wuweiwisdom.com/therapies-for-body-mind/ Follow us on Instagram: @wuweiwisdomSign up to receive a relaxing guided meditation gift, plus our weekly newsletter + offers via email: https://www.wuweiwisdom.com/signup -Disclaimer: This podcast and any associated teaching and comments shared are not a substitute for professional therapy, mental health care, crisis support, medical advice, doctor diagnosis, or professional healthcare treatment. Our show episodes provide general information for educational purposes only and are offered as suggestions for you and your professional therapist or healthcare advisor to consider and research.Music by Earth Tree Healing

In this episode, psychologist and Neufeld Institute senior faculty member Eva de Gosztonyi shares reflections from over 50 years working in schools across Canada and explains how Gordon Neufeld's attachment-based developmental paradigm transformed her understanding of children, behaviour, emotional regulation, and learning. Eva discusses how traditional behavioral approaches often failed the children who struggled most and describes her efforts to implement relationship-based, developmental practices within Quebec's English-speaking school systems. Link to the show notes with links to key discussion points and other ways to view or hear the episode here: ⁠https://affectautism.com/2026/05/15/holding-space/Consider joining our DIR® Parent Network or becoming an Affect Autism member for bonus content and support from a like-minded community of Floortimers here: ⁠⁠https://affectautism.com/support/* Thank you to Mauritian American recording artists ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Hallows and Artoffact Records for the background promo music: ⁠⁠https://hallows.bandcamp.com/track/catalyst-2

A student died by suicide. A freshman. Neither his parents nor teachers knew he was struggling. Not even his friends. It is the question that haunts every parent of teenagers and the foundation of teen mental health: Do my kids actually trust me? Would they come to me if they were in crisis? Content Warning: This episode contains discussion of youth suicide and mental health crises. If you or someone you know is struggling, please reach out. Crisis resources cited below.In this episode, part 2 of the Trust Series, Dr. Marjorie & Michael move from institutional trust to the most personal kind. What trust actually means according to research, why kids hide emotions, why teens don't talk to parents, and what it takes to become the person your child trusts with the things they are most afraid to say out loud.Because trust is not just reliability. It is a willingness to be vulnerable. And that willingness has to be built long before the crisis arrives.This is a guide for parenting teenagers through the lens of two educators navigating co-parenting after divorce and raising emotionally healthy kids. If you are wondering how to get kids to open up, how to create emotional safety for kids, or how to build trust with your teenager, this conversation is for you. Because your kids are not learning trust from a textbook. And neither are you.Inside the Episode:"Do My Kids Trust Me?" Trust is easy to claim when things are good. It is only demonstrated when things are not. This is the question that anchors the whole episode.Why Kids Don't Talk to Parents. Signs your teen is struggling are not always visible. Shame, stigma, & perception that asking for help means weakness keep young people silent. Learn how to talk to teens about mental health without shutting the door, because even the most present parents cannot guarantee their kids will reach out I Will Put Love in the Driver's Seat. The parenting framework for modeling accountability for kids: "I will put love and your safety in the driver's seat before consequences & accountability." Micro-Stabs vs. Big Betrayals. Death by a thousand cuts destroys trust just as completely as one dramatic betrayal in parent-child relationships, just as much as romantic ones. The Research on Trust and Belonging. Baumeister & Leary's belonging research and Ohio State's trust framework applied to parenting. What we teach kids about trust starts with what we show them every single day.Modeling Vulnerability and Emotional Safety. How to get a child to open up about feelings starts with modeling emotional safety yourself. Giving kids the emotional vocabulary they need before the crisis arrives. Parenting and mental health are inseparable. What we model for our kids in uncertain times is what they carry with them. This is emotionally safe parenting in practice.Physical Presence Matters. Community requires inconvenience. Showing up in person is one of the most trust-building things a parent can do."I will put love and your safety in the driver's seat before consequences and accountability." "We usually think of trust as big trust, instead of thinking about all the little micro-stabs." "Logic doesn't work. We have to pay attention to the emotional tenor of our relationships." "I trust you more now than when we were married."Follow Us on InstagramParents and Professors Podcast: / parentsandprofessorspod Dr. Michael Steven Williams: / drmikewill Dr. Marjorie Dorime-Williams: / drminimarj

What happens when silence becomes survival? In this deeply personal and powerful episode of My Divorce Solution's We Chat Divorce, co-founders Karen Chellew and Catherine Shanahan sit down with licensed psychotherapist, relationship expert, and author Colette Jane Fehr for a conversation about emotional suppression, financial vulnerability, and the hidden cost of staying quiet in marriage and divorce. Colette shares her own divorce story — from a marriage that looked “perfect” on the outside to navigating emotional disconnection, postpartum anxiety, financial uncertainty, and fear-driven decision-making during divorce. Together, they unpack how silence often shows up as avoidance, people-pleasing, emotional suppression, and fear of conflict — especially for women navigating major financial and life decisions. This episode explores why so many people stay quiet about money, avoid difficult conversations, and enter divorce negotiations without fully understanding their financial reality. The discussion also highlights the emotional patterns that keep people from advocating for themselves — and how financial clarity can become one of the most empowering tools in divorce preparation. You'll hear honest conversations about: Emotional safety and communication in marriage Fear of asking financial questions The connection between silence and financial vulnerability Why financial clarity changes negotiation outcomes The danger of making decisions from survival mode Reclaiming your voice during divorce Building emotional and financial independence after divorce How unresolved patterns from childhood impact adult relationships Why preparation matters before legal negotiations begin Colette also discusses her new book, The Cost of Quiet, which explores how self-silencing impacts relationships, emotional health, and personal empowerment — and how learning to communicate directly and vulnerably can change the trajectory of your life. Throughout the episode, Karen and Catherine reinforce a core message of MDS: Divorce is a legal process — but financial in impact. This conversation is for anyone: Considering divorce Feeling financially overwhelmed Afraid to ask questions Struggling to advocate for themselves Trying to decide whether to stay or leave Wanting to prepare before making major legal or financial decisions If you've been living in silence, this episode is a reminder: You are allowed to ask questions. You are allowed to gather information. You are allowed to reclaim your voice — at your own pace. Learn More About Colette Jane Fehr Colette Jane Fehr Official Website The Cost of Quiet About My Divorce Solution My Divorce Solution helps individuals and families prepare financially for divorce through expert analysis, verified financial data, and strategic preparation before negotiations begin. Their signature process, the Divorce Financial Portrait™, provides clarity around assets, liabilities, income, expenses, and settlement scenarios so clients can make informed, confident decisions during divorce. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

https://www.therecovereddad.com/fathers-freedom-framework In this episode of The Recovered Dad podcast, we break down why emotional safety is not optional in recovery, it is foundational. We explore how most men have never experienced a truly safe space to be honest about this struggle, and how that lack of safety keeps them stuck in cycles of shame and isolation. We unpack what emotional safety actually means, why it directly impacts your ability to heal, and how this habit thrives in secrecy but loses its power when brought into the light. We also discuss the role of fathers in creating emotional safety at home, and why your children will never risk honesty if they do not feel safe with you. Finally, we give practical ways to build emotional safety in your relationships through authenticity, non judgment, listening, and learning how to support without trying to fix. Top 10 Show Highlights: [00:01] Why emotional safety is a foundational requirement for real recovery [02:00] Defining emotional safety as a shame free environment where honesty is possible [04:00] The doctor analogy and why honesty is required for healing [05:30] Why many men still avoid safe spaces due to shame conditioning [08:00] How shame loses its power when stories are shared in safe environments [10:00] The responsibility fathers have to create emotional safety for their children [11:30] Why kids hide the truth when they do not feel safe [12:30] Leading with authenticity as a father and in recovery [15:30] You can only create as much safety as you have within yourself [23:30] Practical ways to create safety through listening, validation, and non judgment Linked List of Sites or Resources Mentioned: Learn More About The Liberation Boot Camp: https://www.therecovereddad.com Download the Father's Freedom Framework: https://www.therecovereddad.com/fathers-freedom-framework

In the final PACEs episode, Scott and Erika detail how emotional safety, connection, unconditional love, and purpose foster lasting resilience and offset early adversity. Go tubeless with Omnipod 5 or Omnipod DASH * Dexcom G7 CONTOUR NextGen smart meter and CONTOUR DIABETES app Get your supplies from US MED  or call 888-721-1514 Tandem Mobi  ABLEnow save for today's needs or invest for tomorrow Type 1 Diabetes Pro Tips - THE PODCAST Eversense CGM Medtronic Diabetes Touched By Type 1 Take the T1DExchange survey Use code JUICEBOX to save 20% at Cozy Earth  Apple Podcasts> Subscribe to the podcast today! The podcast is available on Spotify, Google Play, iHeartRadio, Radio Public, Amazon Music and all Android devices The Juicebox Podcast is a free show, but if you'd like to support the podcast directly, you can make a gift here or buy me a coffee. Thank you! * The Pod has an IP28 rating for up to 25 feet for 60 minutes. The PDM is not waterproof. Among all paid Omnipod 5 G6G7 Pods Commercial and Medicare claims in 2024. Actual co-pay amount depends on patient's health plan and coverage, they may be higher or lower than the advertised amount. Source IQVIA OPC Library. Disclaimer - Nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast or read on Arden's Day is intended as medical advice. You should always consult a physician before making changes to your health plan.  If the podcast has helped you to live better with type 1 please tell someone else how to find it!  

Most couples think they have a communication problem, but the truth is usually deeper: they have an emotional safety problem. Without safety, you're just "rolling paint on a crumbling wall."In this episode, Kameran Alareqi breaks down why emotional safety is the "psychological oxygen" every relationship needs to thrive. We explore how childhood attachment styles (anxious, dismissive avoidant, and fearful avoidant) shape your current marriage and why your nervous system might be physically rejecting your partner.Inside This Episode:The Root System: Why emotional safety is the foundation for neural regulation and executive functioning.Attachment Theory 101: How we transfer our "secure base" from our parents to our partners.The A.R.E. Acronym: A deep dive into Accessibility, Responsiveness, and Engagement (from Emotionally Focused Therapy).Baseball in the House: Why you can't "steal home" (physical intimacy) without hitting first, second, and third base (safety, connection, and emotional intimacy).The Soft Startup: How to use "I feel, when, because, I need" to end the cycle of criticism and defensiveness.Breaking the Cycle: Stop the "Wait and Bait" and learn to separate the person from the pattern.Key Takeaways:Co-Regulation: Your partner and your children borrow your energetic state. If you aren't emotionally sober, you can't provide a safe harbor.Conflict vs. Connection: Emotional safety isn't the absence of conflict; it's the presence of connection during conflict.The Arrogance of Change: Why trying to change your partner is a barrier to your own growth and maturity.Resources & Links:[WORKSHOP] Changing Your Marriage By Yourself Are you the only one trying? Join Kameran for a special workshop on May 19th at 7:00 PM CT via Zoom.

Send us Fan MailDo you have a loved one who struggles with anxiety or dysregulation, and you just aren't sure how to help? It can be heartbreaking to watch someone you deeply care about feel unsafe in their own body or mind, but remember—it is not your job to fix them.In this episode of the Find Your Peace podcast, we explore beautiful, practical ways you can become a supportive, grounding presence for your spouse, child, or friend. We discuss how to listen with gentle curiosity rather than defensiveness, the regulating power of respectful physical touch, and why managing your own emotions is the greatest gift you can offer. Healing from anxiety is absolutely possible, and your loving support plays a vital role in their journey. Tune in to discover how to cultivate an environment of peace, trust, and profound connection with your loved one. How's My Nervous System Quiz     I Connect with us at Exalted Health

This week on the BraveCo Podcast, I sat down with one of my closest friends, Richard Gordon, for a conversation I've been wanting to have for a long time. Richard is on our executive team at Bethel Church, and over the years I've had the privilege of watching him grow from a son in our house into one of the strongest fathers I know. We dug into the journey of moving from "what can I get?" to "what can I give?" — that quiet, often invisible shift that turns boys into men and sons into fathers.We got real about marriage, parenting, and the things nobody warns you about — bedtime battles, sensory struggles with our kids, co-sleeping, and the seasons where you feel like you're failing even when you're showing up. I shared what it was like walking my daughter Edy through years of dysregulation after my mother-in-law passed, and Richard opened up about how God keeps inviting him deeper into leadership through his family first. We also talked about what I call "the noble drug" — the way work and ministry can quietly become an escape, even when it looks valiant from the outside.If you're a husband, a dad, or a leader feeling pulled in a thousand directions, this conversation is for you. My prayer is that it gives you permission to make your family your number one team, to be led by vision instead of need, and to remember that the seasons that feel the hardest are often the ones you'll look back on as the most sacred. Hit subscribe so you don't miss next week, and check out our new gear at braveco.org. Love you guys.Connect with Richard: https://richardgordon.org/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/richardgordon_/Chapters:00:00 — Welcome Back & Meet Richard Gordon03:24 — From Son to Father: The Mindset That Changes Everything06:48 — How God "Tricked" Richard Into Leadership10:14 — Jesus as Lord AND Friend: Leading Your Kids Without Losing Connection13:38 — Bedtime, Routines & Why Connection Regulates Everything17:04 — Walking Through Edy's Sensory Journey & Our Hardest Season20:28 — Co-Sleeping, Emotional Safety & Building a Bubble at Home23:54 — Your Family Is Your #1 Team (And Why That Matters)27:18 — Led by Vision, Not by Need: The Noble Drug of Overworking30:44 — Your Greatest Assignment & Final EncouragementCONNECT WITH BRAVECOJoin Our Free Community for Men (ladies, sign up your man): https://www.braveco.orgFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/braveco.menInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/braveco.men/Shop: https://shop.braveco.org/ABOUT BRAVECO: We live in a time where men are hunting for the truth and looking for the codebook to manhood. At BraveCo, we are on a mission to heal the narrative of masculinity across a generation; fighting the good fight together because every man should feel confident and capable of facing his pain, loving deeply, and leading a life that impacts the world around him.

How safe are Black women in today's world? In this transformative episode, Latonya McDonald delves deep into the realities of domestic violence, media narratives, and the burdens of emotional labor faced by Black women. Discover actionable strategies for detachment, boundary-setting, and community building—empowering you not only to survive but to thrive and support others on their journey to safety and healing.For Black women and their allies seeking real talk and real solutions, this episode of Live & Be Great with Latonya McDonald confronts the relentless pressure of emotional labor, unsafe environments, and abuse. Are you struggling with boundaries, feeling blamed, or overwhelmed by toxic relationships and media narratives? Learn why detachment can be your greatest act of self-love, how to recognize the red flags, and what steps to take towards real safety.Latonya McDonald shares lived experiences, practical safety plans, and powerful tips to help you protect yourself and your loved ones, build resilience, and create a thriving, empowered community. Find out how to support young women's self-defense, become an ally, and access resources for trauma and growth. End uncertainty—step into clarity, healing, and peace with guidance you can trust.   **Timestamped Overview:**- 00:00:02 – Welcome and episode introduction- 00:00:31 – Rising rates of DV against Black women and media scrutiny- 00:02:16 – Recent case studies and emotional impact- 00:03:14 – Media influence and community silence on trauma- 00:04:44 – The importance of detachment for abuse survivors- 00:08:05 – Accountability, role models, and raising consciousness- 00:12:01 – Personal stories and college safety advice- 00:13:45 – Victim blaming and relationship dynamics- 00:16:10 – Race dynamics and societal conditioning- 00:19:00 – Detachment, community, and teaching self-protection- 00:21:00 – High-profile DV cases and setting boundaries- 00:23:41 – Creating a safety plan and finding support- 00:26:05 – Closing thoughts on empowerment and resources- 00:26:59 – Coaching services and call to actionReady to start your healing journey? Book a free consultation for individual, couple, family, or co-parenting sessions with Latonya McDonald: [Free Consultation](https://outlook.office.com/book/LiveBeGreatLLC1@liveandbegreat.com/?ismsaljsauthenabled)SEO Keywords:  Black women safety, emotional detachment, boundaries in abusive relationships  

Ashanti sits down with Clyde Cole, Principal of Cristo Rey Brooklyn High School, to explore identity, leadership, education, and the masks school leaders wear.Clyde reflects on his journey as the child of immigrants, his 35 years in education, and the classroom moment that shaped his calling. He also shares how calm leadership, transparency, and emotionally safe adults can help young men build trust and move beyond the mask.A powerful conversation for educators, school leaders, mentors, and anyone committed to helping young people feel seen.In this episode:The masks Ashanti and Clyde wear as educators and leadersWhy calm leadership can sometimes be misunderstood as not caringHow transparency helps students, families, and staff trust the decision-making processWhy young men need vocabulary to express what they are carryingThe fifth-grade teacher who changed Clyde's life by choosing elevation over punishmentWhy educators should look for opportunities to lift students up, even in disruptive momentsHow Cristo Rey Brooklyn supports students through academics, work-study, service, and community partnershipTimestamps:00:01 Welcome and introduction00:44 Clyde's background, identity, and Brooklyn roots02:26 Leading Cristo Rey Brooklyn High School04:48 Ashanti shares his educator mask08:32 Clyde shares his mask as a leader13:42 Calm leadership in difficult moments15:54 Using transparency to build trust19:14 The deeper work of education21:19 Helping young men move beyond the mask23:01 Giving young men language for their emotions26:17 Creating spaces for emotional risk-taking27:48 Why students need safe adults30:59 The teacher who changed Clyde's path32:28 Elevating students instead of punishing them36:19 Clyde's five domains of school leadership37:44 Academic leadership39:01 Cultural leadership40:01 Organizational leadership41:22 Team leadership42:28 Interpersonal leadership45:35 Cristo Rey Brooklyn's work-study model46:24 How to support Cristo Rey Brooklyn students48:21 Closing reflections and mask invitationResources & Links Mentioned:Cristo Rey Brooklyn High School: https://www.cristoreybrooklyn.org/ Faculty & Staff / Clyde Cole: https://www.cristoreybrooklyn.org/faculty-and-staffConnect with Clyde ColeWebsite: https://www.cristoreybrooklyn.org/ Email: ccole@cristoreybrooklyn.orgJoin/Contribute to our Young Men's Conference: https://everforwardclub.orgJoin our Skool Community: https://www.skool.com/efc-young-mens-advocates-2345Submit Questions, Reflections, or Episode Ideas, Email us: totmpod100@gmail.comCreate your mask anonymously: https://millionmask.org/Connect with Ashanti BranchInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/branchspeaks/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/BranchSpeaksX: https://x.com/BranchSpeaksLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ashantibranch/Website: https://www.branchspeaks.com/Support the Podcast & Ever Forward ClubHelp us continue creating spaces for young men to be seen, heard, and supported:https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/branch-speaks/supportConnect with Ever Forward ClubInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/everforwardclubFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/everforwardclubX: https://x.com/everforwardclubLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/the-ever-forward-club/#UnMASKingWithMaleEducators #EmotionalSafety #MaleEducators #AuthenticLeadership #SchoolLeadership #CristoReyBrooklyn #YoungMenMatter #BehindTheMask #EducatorWellbeing

In this insightful interview, Michelle shares her journey from ExxonMobil to founding Hyfé, a company revolutionizing carbon refining by utilizing plant waste. Discover how her innovative approach addresses climate change, food industry waste, and health impacts, offering a scalable solution for a sustainable future. Keywords sustainability, waste valorization, bio-refining, plant waste, climate change, food industry, innovation, bio-manufacturing, circular economy Key  topics Hyfé's innovative refining process using plant waste The economic and environmental impact of waste valorization Strategies for scaling sustainable bio-manufacturing The role of consumer awareness and industry collaboration in sustainability Sound bites "We use plant waste instead of crude oil" "Refining carbon like the oil industry did" "Creating new value from food waste" Chapters 00:00 Introduction to Essential Ingredients Podcast 07:16 Valuing Byproducts: A New Perspective 11:03 Personal Impact and Entrepreneurial Journey 15:08 Supply Chain Challenges in the Food Industry 21:28 Collaborative Approaches to Industry Change 25:28 Building a Values-Driven Team 29:42 Emotional Safety in Startups 33:09 The Importance of External Perspectives 34:40 Innovating Contract Structures in the Food Industry 35:33 Balancing Health and Climate Goals 38:19 Navigating Complex Responsibilities 39:39 The Future of Bio-Manufacturing 41:15 Sector Readiness for Change 43:19 The Challenge of Processed Foods 45:34 Building a Sustainable Future 46:35 Transforming Linear to Circular Systems 47:16 Lessons Learned from Hi-Fey 48:52 Essential Ingredients for Success 50:03 Rapid Fire Insights 52:25 Final Thoughts and Future Vision

Struggling with hurt, resentment, or trust issues in your relationship? In this episode, we explore what really happens when love and pain exist at the same time and whether your relationship can truly be repaired. Learn how to regulate emotional triggers, navigate conflict without losing yourself, and understand the difference between repair and incompatibility. We break down a simple framework for healthy communication, rebuilding trust, and creating emotional safety. If you've ever wondered whether to stay, repair, or let go, this episode will help you find clarity and direction.

What does emotional safety actually look like in real life? We use that language all the time — “I don't feel safe” — but it often holds a wide range of experiences, from true relational harm to simple discomfort or vulnerability. In this episode, we slow that phrase down and explore the difference. Drawing on insights from author and psychiatrist Curt Thompson, we unpack why emotional safety isn't about always feeling calm or at ease, but about the ability to stay connected, even in moments of tension, uncertainty, or emotional exposure. We also walk through six signs of emotional safety in friendships. If you've ever wondered what emotional safety actually looks like in real life, not just in theory, this episode will help you name it, recognize it, and move toward it. I hope you'll listen in. Thought-provoking quotes: “We often collapse a whole spectrum of emotional experiences into the word ‘unsafe,' and when we do that, we lose clarity about what's actually happening inside us.” - Taylor Joy Murray “Safety is not the absence of activation. It's the presence of connection inside it: the ability to stay with yourself and with someone else, even when what you're feeling isn't calm or easy.” - Taylor Joy Murray Get Faith & Feeling's weekly resource email Watch this episode on YouTube Grab a copy of my book Stop Saying I'm Fine Connect with me on my website Find me on Instagram @__taylorjoy__ Key words: emotional safety, relationships, friendship, connection, conflict, vulnerability, attachment, self-awareness, Curt Thompson, confidence, growth, trust, intimacy, emotions, listening, honesty

Emotional safety gets talked about a lot in relationships.But if you're honest, there are moments where something shifts, and you don't feel safe anymore.Maybe your partner said something a certain way.Or didn't respond how you needed them to. And suddenly, you feel guarded… distant… or unsure if it's safe to open up.In this episode, we're looking at what emotional safety actually requires—and why it can feel so hard to create, even when you care deeply about each other.Inside this episode, we:Break down the difference between what disrupts emotional safety externally vs. what's happening internallyExplore how your past experiences and attachment patterns shape how you interpret moments with your partnerUncover why certain interactions feel so much bigger than the moment itselfWalk through the core conditions that actually create emotional safety in a relationshipHelp you understand what allows you to stay open, grounded, and connected—even in difficult momentsIdentify the kinds of experiences that teach your nervous system “it's safe to be me here”When you begin to understand emotional safety this way…You stop looking for it in just one place.And start learning how it's created—within you and between you.Ready to go deeper?If you're listening to this and realizing you want more emotional safety in your relationship—but aren't sure how to actually create it—this is the work I do with my private clients inside The Connected Marriage.If you'd like to explore working together, you can schedule a consultation here

When the World Feels Too Heavy: Surviving Collective Grief *WARNING: This podcast mentions suicide, sexual abuse & trauma and may be triggering. Episode Summary In the Season 4 kick-off episode of The Survivors, Lisa and Natasha get candid about the overwhelming emotional weight of current global events, the importance of personal boundaries, and the need for self-preservation amidst collective grief. They explore how political and social divisions affect personal relationships and the significance of raising empathetic kids. The dialogue emphasizes the necessity of curating information consumption and finding hope in community and activism, while acknowledging the diverse perspectives that shape individual experiences. Episode Sponsored by The HelpHUB™ Struggling with your mental health? Feeling lost, overwhelmed, or just alone? Well, you're not. Welcome to The HelpHUB™—your online destination for mental health resources, treatment options, content, and tools to help meet you exactly where you are in the moment. Visit TheHelpHUB.co to get started. Takeaways Collective grief is impacting everyone right now.Emotional exhaustion is a common experience.Political and social divisions create challenges in relationships.Setting personal boundaries is essential for mental health.Curating news intake can help manage emotional well-being.Raising empathetic children is a priority for many.Community involvement can provide a sense of purpose.Understanding different perspectives is crucial for dialogue.It's okay to disengage from overwhelming information.Hope for humanity is essential for moving forward. Chapters 00:00 Navigating Heavy Conversations 03:01 Collective Grief and Emotional Exhaustion 05:58 The Impact of Political and Social Divisions 08:51 Personal Boundaries and Self-Preservation 11:59 Finding Balance in Information Consumption 14:53 Raising Empathetic Children 18:03 The Role of Community and Activism 20:46 Understanding Different Perspectives 23:52 The Importance of Emotional Safety 26:34 Hope for Humanity's Resilience Mental Health Resources If you or someone you know is struggling, please call 988 for help.The Survivors Podcast Website – https://thesurvivors.net/The HelpHUB™ – Mental health resources, tools, and support networks – https://www.thehelphub.co/National Domestic Violence Hotline – Call 1-800-799-SAFE (7223) Follow & Connect With Us

When the World Feels Too Heavy: Surviving Collective Grief *WARNING: This podcast mentions suicide, sexual abuse & trauma and may be triggering. Episode Summary In the Season 4 kick-off episode of The Survivors, Lisa and Natasha get candid about the overwhelming emotional weight of current global events, the importance of personal boundaries, and the need for self-preservation amidst collective grief. They explore how political and social divisions affect personal relationships and the significance of raising empathetic kids. The dialogue emphasizes the necessity of curating information consumption and finding hope in community and activism, while acknowledging the diverse perspectives that shape individual experiences. Episode Sponsored by The HelpHUB™ Struggling with your mental health? Feeling lost, overwhelmed, or just alone? Well, you're not. Welcome to The HelpHUB™—your online destination for mental health resources, treatment options, content, and tools to help meet you exactly where you are in the moment. Visit TheHelpHUB.co to get started. Takeaways Collective grief is impacting everyone right now.Emotional exhaustion is a common experience.Political and social divisions create challenges in relationships.Setting personal boundaries is essential for mental health.Curating news intake can help manage emotional well-being.Raising empathetic children is a priority for many.Community involvement can provide a sense of purpose.Understanding different perspectives is crucial for dialogue.It's okay to disengage from overwhelming information.Hope for humanity is essential for moving forward. Chapters 00:00 Navigating Heavy Conversations 03:01 Collective Grief and Emotional Exhaustion 05:58 The Impact of Political and Social Divisions 08:51 Personal Boundaries and Self-Preservation 11:59 Finding Balance in Information Consumption 14:53 Raising Empathetic Children 18:03 The Role of Community and Activism 20:46 Understanding Different Perspectives 23:52 The Importance of Emotional Safety 26:34 Hope for Humanity's Resilience Mental Health Resources If you or someone you know is struggling, please call 988 for help.The Survivors Podcast Website – https://thesurvivors.net/The HelpHUB™ – Mental health resources, tools, and support networks – https://www.thehelphub.co/National Domestic Violence Hotline – Call 1-800-799-SAFE (7223) Follow & Connect With Us

Struggling with a spouse who shuts down, gets defensive, or won't truly listen? Discover how leading with love—not control—can transform your communication, heal emotional wounds, and shift the entire dynamic of your marriage. In this powerful episode, we share biblical principles to overcome fear, break destructive patterns, and build deeper intimacy, emotional safety, and lasting connection.

Text us your questions or topics for the show! We got you!Cass Morrow, Author of Disrupting Divorce: The NEW Man. Saving Struggling, Sexless, and Toxic Marriages.Kathryn Morrow, Author of Behind The White Picket Fence.If you're struggling to let your husband lead again… you're not crazy.You're not “too much.”Your body remembers what your mind keeps trying to forgive.In this Marriage Q&A, Nicole shares what happens after trust gets cracked: job loss stress, family crisis, emotional pressure, and the fear that if she's not “enough,” he'll go find someone else.And then the roles flip — he starts doing the work… and she starts spiraling.We break down the TRUTH most couples miss:Intimacy is a ladder. Sex is at the top. Emotional safety is the foundation.If you skip the foundation, you'll use sex to manage insecurity… not to build connection.In this episode, we talk about:How insecurity hijacks your nervous system after betrayalWhy “letting him lead” feels unsafe (even when he's changing)The difference between connection and copingHow sex can mask deeper intimacy issues in marriageHow to stop feeding the “insecurity monster” and start rebuilding trustIf you're in a marriage after betrayal, porn use, emotional disconnection, or a cycle of blowups + honeymoon phases… this one's for you.

Hey friend,  What helps your kids feel emotionally safe at home?How does the environment of your home affect your children's nervous systems? Could small shifts in your home help everyone feel calmer? I'm Ashley — a mom living with chronic illness in a neurodivergent family. If you're dealing with constant fatigue, brain fog, inflammation, and broken sleep while trying to keep up with your kids, you're not alone. This podcast is for chronic illness moms raising neurodivergent kids who want stress relief, better sleep, and simple, realistic habits to finally feel better in their bodies. Each episode shares nervous-system-friendly support to help you calm overwhelm, boost energy, and practice healthy habits that improve your symptoms — even in the middle of a full, demanding life. In last week's episode we talked about making your home a soft place to land for you as a mom by reducing environmental stress. In this episode, we expand that idea and talk about how creating emotional safety for your kids can transform the entire atmosphere of your home. When children feel safe and supported, their nervous systems regulate more easily — and that regulation affects everyone in the household. Small environmental shifts can support emotional regulation, reduce stress, and help your home feel calmer for both parents and kids. Resources and Links Mentioned Chronic Health Coaching https://ashleybraden.com/coaching Magnesium Cream HERE Lymphatic Cream HERE Natural Product store: https://payhip.com/hearthwellnaturals 191. Tired All the Time? This Simple Habit Helps Chronic Illness Moms Feel Better Fast 189. 4 Tips for When Your Neurodivergent Child Doesn't Sleep and Chronic Illness Slows Recovery Connect With Me Contact: https://www.facebook.com/chronicillnessmoms Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/chronichealthmoms Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chronicillnessmoms YouTube: https://bit.ly/chronicillnessyoutube Next Steps: Join the Facebook group for support and community Book a 1:1 Chronic Health Coaching session

In this episode, we lay the foundation for what really matters most when it comes to raising Gen Alpha kids—emotional safety. It's also the beginning of how we got started with Famous at Home — discovering the power of, and talking about how to cultivate, a posture of emotional safety in our homes for our kids.As we continue season 8 on Parenting Gen Alpha, we define what emotional safety is and why it matters for getting every outcome we desire in our kids. We also talk about the four walls of parenting, the importance of reparenting our own inner child, and why emotional safety is so important to who our kids are becoming. Time Stamps:0:00 Introduction and insight into Josh and Christi's current day-to-day as parents3:20 Setting the stage for today's topic 7:21 What emotional safety is and why it matters11:13 Being able to bring the fullness of who you are to the relationship13:50 Support and challenge in parenting16:55 Reparenting our own inner child21:02 Leading in grace and following in truth25:49 Emotional safety and the need for communityShow Notes:Get Safe House: How Emotional Safety is the Key to Raising Kids Who Live, Love, and Lead Well:https://amzn.to/4rc52c9 Ladies, sign up here for Spring Tender & Fierce Cohort! https://www.famousathome.com/tenderandfierce Interested in our Spring Love Your Marriage Cohort? Apply now. Starts March 30. https://www.famousathome.com/loveyourmarriage Looking for a marriage intensive with Famous at Home? Apply now.  https://www.famousathome.com/coaching Men, sign up for the Living Legacy Cohort:https://www.famousathome.com/menscoaching Sign up for our email list and Famous at Home Starter Bundle: https://www.famousathome.com/newsletter Download NONAH's single Find My Way Home by clicking here: https://bellpartners.ffm.to/findmywayhome

Send a textThe hardest stories rarely get told in the places that need them most. Susan Roggendorf and I open the door to how confidentiality truly works for police, fire, EMS, dispatchers, and medics—and why airtight boundaries are the backbone of real therapeutic change. No nods in public that out you, no name drops across departments, and no casual mentions that break trust. HIPAA is the law, but it is also a lived ethic that lets you speak freely without risking your reputation or your career.We get candid about the therapist–client relationship: professional, paid, and deeply human. It feels friendly at times because safety grows where pain is met with care. We talk about scheduling like chess to avoid back-to-back clients from the same team, navigating community run-ins, and letting clients choose whether to say hello or keep distance. Culture fit matters—dark humor, blunt talk, and straight answers help first responders feel seen. Sometimes the most therapeutic move is five minutes of sports talk to let your nervous system shift gears before you tackle the call you can't shake.We dig into vicarious trauma and why “talk to a friend” isn't enough. Friends can support you; therapists are trained to hear what is unsaid, track patterns over time, and offer clear choices: do you want support or solutions today? That simple question hands back control when so much of the job strips it away. We challenge the quiet shaming of help-seeking and argue for a culture that treats mental health like gear maintenance—nonnegotiable for readiness and longevity.If you've wondered whether a therapist will keep your confidence, or how therapy can actually work for your world, you'll hear real practices that protect privacy and deepen trust. Walk away with language to set boundaries, insight into how clinicians think, and a clearer path to care that respects the badge and the person behind it.To reach Susan, please go to https://psychhub.com/us/provider/susan-roggendorf/1316326036If this conversation helped, follow the show, share it with your crew, and leave a review so more first responders can find it. Your feedback keeps this work moving.Freed.ai: We'll Do Your SOAP Notes!Freed AI converts conversations into SOAP note.Use code Steve50 for $50 off the 1st month!Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.Support the showYouTube Channel For The Podcast