Podcast appearances and mentions of bryan goodwin

In this episode of The Relaxed Male, host Bryan Goodwin delves into the crucial distinction between tolerating and accepting in relationships, particularly marriage. Bryan emphasizes how tolerating can lead to resentment and emotional disconnection, while accepting allows for healthier communication and understanding. He discusses common relationship issues such as overspending and unsatisfactory love lives, highlighting the importance of addressing these problems through open dialogue and emotional honesty.Bryan also explores the societal pressures to tolerate undesirable behaviors and how this can negatively impact personal relationships. He encourages listeners to reclaim their power by accepting circumstances and working through them with their partners. By changing thought patterns and embracing acceptance, men can foster better relationships with their spouses and children. Bryan invites listeners to engage with him through email for further discussion and offers coaching services to help men improve their relationships by changing their mindset.

Bob Gardner joins Bryan Goodwin on episode 269 of The Relaxed Male, providing insights that challenge conventional approaches to pain and addiction. Bob, known as the "Freedom Specialist," shares a transformative perspective on how our mindset shapes our experiences and influences our health. At the start, Bryan highlights how Bob's work has shifted his own understanding of addiction, viewing it as a symptom of underlying emotional struggles rather than a mere behavioral issue. This conversation touches on the evolution of Bob's practice, initially focused on helping men with porn addiction, but expanding into broader realms encompassing life's challenges and embracing change.A key theme of the discussion is the power of the mind in shaping our experiences. Bob emphasizes that everyone is inadvertently harnessing their mental capabilities, whether they realize it or not, when they react to events around them. He recounts the story of a cancer patient whose condition improved dramatically after being told they received an effective treatment—only for their health to decline again once they learned it was a placebo. This highlights the mind's potent influence over the body and emphasizes Bob's view that our perceptions and beliefs shape our physical reality.Bryan probes deeper into how individuals can tap into their mental capacities. Bob elaborates, explaining that the question is often asked incorrectly, limiting possibilities. Instead of asking how to access the mind's power, individuals should recognize they are already engaging it. This ties into the concept of "entertainment," where the information we consume shapes our thoughts and responses. Bob reflects on how people often expose themselves to negative influences and emphasizes the importance of surrounding oneself with positive stimuli to cultivate a more constructive mindset. He recalls Einstein's insight about not solving problems from the same level of thought that created them, advocating for a shift in focus toward opportunities for positive growth.The conversation transitions to the natural limitations humans impose on themselves, stemming from societal conditioning that promotes self-doubt. Bob theorizes that such limitations arise from a resistance to life's natural flow, suggesting that many people are unaware of their potential due to the environment and narratives they've absorbed. He challenges the audience to consider alternative societies wherein limitations aren't part of the prevailing mental framework, suggesting that our desires and aims often grow from negative environments.They discuss the concept of grounding and being present in one's physical body, which leads to greater self-awareness and emotional regulation. This approach is especially relevant in situations where individuals turn to distractions or addiction in response to boredom or discomfort. Bob stresses simplifying the understanding of emotions: feelings of boredom or anxiety often boil down to a mismatch in physical states. By altering one's physical condition, such as through movement or stretching, individuals can change their emotional state, circumventing the cognitive loops that lead to unhealthy coping mechanisms.Bryan illustrates the connection between thoughts, feelings, and behaviors as they navigate discussions around addiction. Both agree that understanding the physiological sensations underlying emotions is vital for managing challenges. Bob encourages listeners to pay close attention to their bodies, as it can lead to breakthroughs that a purely cognitive approach may not achieve.As the dialogue continues, Bob expands on the importance of mindfulness and self-awareness in overcoming past conditioning that informs present responses. They explore how modern distractions muddy our perceptions of reality, making it difficult for individuals to connect with their true selves. Bob advocates for intentional stillness as a means to foster deeper connections with existence, which can lead to insights often missed in our hectic daily lives.In conclusion, the episode packs a wealth of information, ultimately calling on listeners to reflect on their own mental frameworks, understand their emotions at a physiological level, and engage with life more openly. Bob leaves the audience with resources to continue exploring this journey, such as his book "Built for Freedom" and associated courses designed to dismantle limiting beliefs and promote holistic healing. Bryan thanks Bob for his insights and encourages listeners to explore how these concepts can enhance their lives moving forward. This dialogue encapsulates a transformative approach to personal development, emphasizing the power within each person to shape their own reality and overcome boundaries previously thought insurmountable.RetreatsBook - Built for Freedom: The 10 adventuresLife Progressionwhat entertainsbuilt for feedom .org unshacled lAST RETREATBob InformationFacebook- https://www.facebook.com/thebobgardnerBook - https://a.co/d/5skTXU7Bob's Course Choose Your Own Emotion - https://live.thefreedomspecialist.com/feelbetternowThe Final Retreat In July - https://live.thefreedomspecialist.com/unshackled

In this episode of The Relaxed Male, host Bryan Goodwin tackles a tough question of the month from a listener named Marty, who finds himself in a difficult situation after cheating on his wife of nine years. With two young children and the possibility of another child on the way with the woman he cheated with, Marty seeks advice on how to confess to his wife and work towards regaining her trust. Brian shares insights from his own experiences and offers guidance on navigating the aftermath of infidelity, emphasizing the importance of accepting what one can control and the long road to rebuilding trust.Bryan delves into the complexities of relationships, discussing the reasons why cheating occurs and the steps necessary to improve a marriage. He highlights the significance of communication, emotional intimacy, and personal growth through the four pillars of a man's life: mind, body, community, and soul. Brian encourages listeners to take responsibility for their actions, work on self-improvement, and understand the impact of their choices on their relationships. Whether it's through open communication or seeking coaching, Brian offers practical advice for men looking to strengthen their relationships and live life on their own terms.

In this episode of The Relaxed Male, host Bryan Goodwin takes listeners on a reflective journey as he navigates the challenges of unmet expectations and life not going according to plan. Broadcasting from his truck, Bryan shares personal insights and experiences from the past few years, discussing the hurdles he has faced in his coaching business and the lessons learned along the way. He candidly explores the concept of success, the struggle with imposter syndrome, and the importance of redefining goals and expectations when life throws curveballs.Bryan emphasizes the significance of personal growth and self-improvement as foundational steps toward achieving better relationships, particularly with one's spouse. He shares his vision for helping men become better partners and the obstacles he has encountered in his coaching journey. Despite the setbacks, Bryan remains committed to his mission, offering free coaching sessions and continuing to produce content that aims to inspire and support men in their personal development. Join Bryan as he delves into the realities of pursuing dreams, the power of mindset, and the resilience required to keep moving forward when life doesn't go as planned.

In this episode of The Relaxed Male, we delve into the complex relationship between physical intimacy and emotional connection. Host Bryan Goodwin shares his personal experiences and insights on how different types of intimacy, including physical, emotional, and intellectual, play a crucial role in strengthening relationships. Bryan candidly discusses the challenges he faced in his own marriage, from dealing with a lack of sexual intimacy to navigating the roommate syndrome, where partners drift apart emotionally and physically.Bryan emphasizes the importance of intentionality in relationships, urging listeners to actively work on building various forms of intimacy with their partners. He shares how spending quality time together, engaging in open communication, and being present can enhance emotional and physical connections. The episode also touches on the societal expectations around sex and intimacy, and how these can impact men's perceptions of their self-worth.Listeners are encouraged to reflect on their own relationships and consider how they can be more intentional in fostering intimacy with their partners. Bryan offers practical advice and coaching opportunities for those seeking to improve their relationships and find fulfillment in their marriages.

In this episode of The Relaxed Male, we delve into the complex world of expectations and how they shape our reactions and relationships. Host Bryan Goodwin shares personal insights from his recent experiences with unrealized expectations, particularly in the context of a social media workshop that didn't meet his expectations. He discusses the common pitfalls of unvoiced expectations and covert contracts, especially in personal relationships, and how they can lead to frustration and resentment.Bryan recounts his journey through a social media masterclass, where he anticipated gaining valuable insights but instead encountered a sales pitch that left him feeling shortchanged. This experience led him to reflect on the importance of managing expectations and the role they play in our emotional responses.Throughout the episode, Bryan emphasizes the significance of understanding and articulating our expectations, both to ourselves and others, to avoid unnecessary disappointment. He also highlights the value of thought downloads as a tool for examining our thoughts and expectations.Listeners are encouraged to explore their own expectations and consider how they might be impacting their relationships and personal growth. Bryan offers a free month of coaching to help men navigate these challenges and improve their relationships with themselves and others.

In this episode of The Relaxed Male, we have a special guest, Todd, who is one of my clients. Todd is a father, husband, and coworker who has faced relationship challenges that many men encounter, whether at home or work. This episode provides a unique opportunity to experience firsthand how coaching with me can transform relationships from feeling like roommates to ones you can truly enjoy.We delve into Todd's journey, discussing the struggles he faced in his marriage, particularly financial disagreements with his wife. We also discuss how coaching helped him shift his perspective and improve their relationship. Todd shares how he learned to approach his wife with care and understanding, which led to positive changes in their dynamic.We also explore Todd's challenges at work, dealing with a coworker who has a different approach to leadership. Todd opens up about his frustrations with the lack of direction and how it impacts the team's performance. Through our conversation, we discuss effective communication styles, the importance of assertiveness, and how to lead a team by providing the necessary resources and support.This episode helps people see the practical aspects of coaching, showing how intentional thoughts and actions can lead to significant improvements in both personal and professional relationships. Join us as we uncover the tools and strategies that can help you navigate your own challenges and enhance your relationships.

In this episode of The Relaxed Male, we dive into the topic of getting unstuck and moving forward in life, especially after significant life changes like a divorce. Host Bryan Goodwin, a certified coach, addresses the common feelings of stagnation and fear that can keep us from pursuing new adventures and living life on our own terms. We explore the importance of introspection and identifying the thoughts that hold us back, and Bryan provides actionable steps to overcome these barriers.We also tackle the question of the month: "What do I do if I've been stuck after my divorce?" Bryan offers insights into breaking free from a rut, finding new friends, starting a new business, and embarking on a new journey. He emphasizes the importance of working on the four pillars of a man's life: mind, body, soul, and community. By focusing on continuous learning, physical fitness, finding one's purpose, and building a supportive community, men can transform their lives.Throughout the episode, Bryan encourages listeners to embrace failure as a part of growth and to take courageous steps toward their goals. He also highlights the value of having a strong community of friends who can support and uplift each other. Whether you're looking to start a new business, find new love, or simply live a more fulfilling life, this episode offers practical advice and motivation to help you get started.If you resonate with any part of this episode or know someone who might benefit from it, Bryan encourages you to share it with others. He also invites listeners to reach out for coaching and support, offering a month of free coaching to help you get unstuck and move forward with confidence.

In this episode of The Relaxed Male, we delve into the intriguing topic of how we often use our limitations as badges of honor. Host Bryan Goodwin explores why society tends to celebrate limitations and how this mindset can actually reinforce these constraints rather than liberate us from them. Brian discusses the phenomenon of labeling oneself with terms like ADHD, neurodivergent, or introvert, and how these labels can become self-fulfilling prophecies that hinder personal growth.Bryan emphasizes the power of the mind as a "do not get killed" device that can be programmed to see the world in a certain way. He illustrates this with the "green car syndrome," where our brains start noticing things we focus on, reinforcing our beliefs. The episode challenges listeners to reconsider the limitations they claim and to stop celebrating them as they can become obstacles to success.Through personal anecdotes and insights, Bryan encourages listeners to change their self-talk and programming. He suggests that by altering the narrative we tell ourselves, we can overcome perceived limitations and achieve greater success. The episode also touches on the societal tendency to label emotions and behaviors, often leading to unnecessary medication and avoidance of personal growth.Bryan invites listeners to reflect on their own limitations and consider how they might be holding themselves back. He offers practical advice on how to shift perspectives and embrace challenges as opportunities for growth. The episode concludes with a call to action for listeners to share the podcast with others and to participate in a survey to help improve the show.

In this week's episode of The Relaxed Male, we delve into the common struggles men face when trying to improve their relationships, particularly with their wives. Host Bryan Goodwin, a certified coach, explores the barriers that hold men back from living the fulfilling life they desire. He discusses the motivational triad that keeps us in our comfort zones, the fear of failure, rejection, and even success, and how these fears prevent us from taking necessary actions.Bryan shares his personal experiences and insights on why New Year's resolutions often fail by February, and how we can overcome the inertia that keeps us from pursuing our goals. He emphasizes the importance of stepping out of our comfort zones, embracing discomfort as a currency for the life we want, and taking intentional actions towards our goals.The episode also touches on the concept of indulgent emotions like worry and confusion, and how they can lead to mental spin, preventing us from making progress. Brian encourages listeners to confront their self-doubt, and past thinking, and to take actionable steps towards their objectives, whether it's improving their marriage or achieving personal success.Listeners are invited to try a free month of coaching to help them break through their barriers and start living intentionally. Bryan offers practical advice on how to take the first steps toward change, emphasizing the need to write down goals and take action despite fear and discomfort.Links - Try Coaching - https://www.relaxedmale.com/trycoachingTake the Survey - https://www.relaxedmale.com/survey

In this episode of The Relaxed Male, host Brian Goodwin delves into the complexities of maintaining individual identities within a marriage. Using the biblical reference of two becoming one, Brian explores how couples can balance unity with independence. He discusses the common pitfall of losing oneself in a relationship by trying to appease a partner, leading to codependency. Brian emphasizes the importance of being true to oneself and the detrimental effects of relying on a partner for affirmation and emotional well-being.Brian introduces the concept of differentiated relationships, where both partners maintain their individuality while working together as a team. He outlines four key skills necessary for such relationships: emotional independence, self-regulation, setting healthy boundaries, and conflict resolution. Brian shares insights on how to develop these skills and the benefits they bring to a marriage.Throughout the episode, Brian provides practical advice for men to stop being "nice guys" who avoid conflict and instead embrace healthy disagreements. He encourages listeners to engage in open communication with their partners, allowing for personal growth and stronger relationships. By fostering a differentiated relationship, couples can enjoy a more fulfilling and harmonious life together.Try Coaching - https://www.relaxedmale.com/trycoachingTake the Survey - https://www.relaxedmale.com/survey

In this week's episode of The Relaxed Male, we're doing something a bit different by diving into an email from a listener. I, Brian Goodwin, your host, start with an apology for not responding to emails due to a technical oversight. I acknowledge the missed opportunities to connect with listeners and answer their questions. Moving forward, I commit to addressing one listener question per month on the show.We also discuss the renewed interest in the Brotherhood of Men group coaching package. Despite initial hesitation, I've decided to offer this group coaching opportunity, especially to those who have shown interest, at a discounted rate.The main focus of this episode is a listener's email about gaining respect as a recovering addict. We explore the challenges of rebuilding trust and respect in relationships, particularly after addiction. I share insights on how addiction is often a coping mechanism gone awry and emphasize the importance of taking responsibility for one's actions.We delve into strategies for rebuilding trust, such as being transparent and open with loved ones, and the importance of self-improvement. I encourage listeners to focus on personal growth through reading, exercising, and finding purpose, which can help in regaining respect and trust from others.Finally, I invite listeners to send in their questions and feedback to help improve the show and announce the upcoming launch of the Brotherhood of Men group coaching.

In this episode of Relaxed Male, your host Bryan Goodwin dives deep into the intricacies of personal responsibility and self-awareness in relationships. Bryan discusses how men often become their own worst enemies by repeating the same actions and expecting different results. He emphasizes the importance of taking control of one's thoughts and actions to improve personal circumstances and relationships.Bryan shares his personal journey of overcoming frustration and blame, highlighting how men tend to point fingers at others, especially their partners, for their problems. He explains how this mindset invites unnecessary suffering and prevents men from living life on their own terms.The episode explores the concept of "the model," which suggests that our thoughts create our emotions, and how understanding this can lead to better relationship dynamics. Bryan encourages listeners to examine what they make circumstances mean about themselves and to challenge the thoughts that lead to negative emotions.Bryan also discusses the "97% rule," advising men to hold back from saying most of the impulsive things that come to mind, and instead focus on building connection and intimacy with their partners. He stresses the importance of understanding and communication in relationships, urging men to listen to their partners and create circumstances that foster love and intimacy.Throughout the episode, Bryan offers insights into how men can stop punishing themselves and their partners by giving up their "manuals"—the set of expectations they have for others—and instead focus on what they can control: their own thoughts and actions. He invites listeners to explore coaching as a tool for personal growth and better relationships.In this episode of The Relaxed Male, host Brian Goodwin delves into the common pitfalls men face in relationships, particularly the tendency to blame others for personal problems. Brian shares insights on how men can take control of their relationship issues by understanding that the root of many problems lies within their own thoughts and actions. He emphasizes the importance of self-awareness and intentional living, urging listeners to examine the meaning they attach to circumstances and how these interpretations affect their emotions and relationships.Brian discusses the "model" concept, which explains how circumstances trigger thoughts, leading to emotions and actions. He highlights the significance of recognizing and changing negative thought patterns to improve personal and relational well-being. Through personal anecdotes and relatable examples, Brian illustrates how misplaced blame and lack of communication can lead to unnecessary suffering and relationship breakdowns.The episode also covers the "97% rule," encouraging men to refrain from saying most of the negative thoughts they might have, and the concept of "manuals," which are unspoken expectations we have for others. Brian advocates for letting go of these manuals to foster healthier relationships.Listeners are invited to explore coaching as a means to gain clarity and improve their relationships, with Brian offering a free coaching session to help men step out of their comfort zones and embrace personal growth.

In this episode of The Relaxed Male, host Bryan Goodwin delves into the common feeling of being stuck in life and how to overcome it. Bryan discusses the emotional and psychological aspects of feeling stuck, often referred to as mental spin or confusion, and explains how these feelings are rooted in fear and uncertainty. He shares personal experiences of feeling stuck in his own business endeavors and emphasizes the importance of understanding these emotions to move forward.Bryan outlines the concept of indulgent emotions and how they keep us in our comfort zones, preventing growth and progress. He encourages listeners to confront their fears and take intentional actions to break free from the cycle of feeling stuck. By examining our thoughts and emotions, we can identify what holds us back and find motivation to push through the discomfort.The episode also highlights practical steps to overcome the feeling of being stuck, such as conducting thought downloads, setting intentional goals, and finding alternative motivations. Bryan suggests finding accountability partners or seeking coaching to stay committed to personal growth. He emphasizes the importance of living life intentionally and embracing challenges to achieve fulfillment and success.Join Bryan as he provides insights and strategies to help men live life on their terms, overcome obstacles, and build better relationships. Tune in next week as he explores the excuses we make for our struggles and how to address them.Try Coaching - htttps://www.relaxedmale.com/trycoaching

Welcome to the first episode of 2025 on The Relaxed Male! As we step into the new year, it's crucial to reflect on the past year and learn from our experiences. In this episode, I, your host Brian Goodwin, delve into the importance of reviewing the past year to fuel your progress in the new one. We discuss how acknowledging your achievements and setbacks can empower you to move closer to your goals.Reflecting on my own journey with Relaxed Male, I share the ups and downs of 2024, including the challenges and lessons learned. Despite facing obstacles, I remain committed to helping men break free from societal expectations and live life on their terms. This year, I aim to continue growing the Relaxed Male community and refine our message to attract more men seeking to improve their lives.We explore the concept of the four pillars of a "raw ex man"—mind, body, soul, and community—and how strengthening these can lead to a fulfilling life. I also share my personal goals for 2025, including health improvements, expanding my coaching practice, and enhancing my marriage.Join me as we discuss practical steps to achieve your goals, such as setting SMART goals, journaling, and creating vision boards. I encourage you to take action, whether it's by seeking coaching, joining a supportive community, or simply starting with small, consistent steps.Let's make 2025 a year of growth and empowerment. If this episode resonates with you, please share it with others who might benefit from it. Together, we can help more men become the best versions of themselves.

In this episode of The Relaxed Male, we delve into the concept of grace and how it can transform your life in the coming year. As the holiday season wraps up, many of us reflect on family gatherings and the challenges they bring. Host Bryan Goodwin encourages listeners to consider a different approach for 2025 by allowing grace to flow into their lives. Grace, defined as unearned forgiveness, is explored as a powerful tool for improving mental health and personal freedom.Bryan discusses the importance of forgiving others, even those who have hurt us deeply, and how this act of grace can liberate us from the burdens of resentment and grudges. He emphasizes that true grace comes from a place of strength, not weakness, and challenges listeners to forgive not only others but also themselves for past mistakes and failures.The episode encourages men to step out of their comfort zones, embrace forgiveness, and set goals for the new year. Bryan introduces the upcoming "Storm Masters Challenge," a program designed to help men harness their inner strength and navigate life's challenges with grace and resilience.Join Bryan as he guides you through the process of letting go of past grievances, embracing grace, and preparing for a transformative year ahead. Whether it's forgiving a combative uncle or letting go of self-imposed grudges, this episode offers valuable insights into living a life free from the constraints of resentment.

As the holiday season approaches, it's the perfect time to reflect on the past year and prepare for the new one. In this episode of The Relaxed Male, we delve into the importance of reviewing our lives and setting goals for 2025. Host Bryan Goodwin, a certified coach, guides us through the process of self-examination and goal setting, emphasizing the significance of the four pillars of a relaxed male: mind, body, soul, and community.Bryan shares his personal journey with Relaxed Male, discussing the challenges and successes he's faced over the past seven years. He highlights the importance of setting realistic goals and celebrating achievements, no matter how small. By conducting an after-action review, we can learn from our successes and failures, paving the way for personal growth.The episode also explores the significance of having a strong community and the role it plays in personal development. Brian encourages listeners to focus on building relationships and expanding their network, as these connections can greatly influence our success and happiness.Looking ahead to 2025, Brian shares his goals, including losing 50 pounds, attending a conference, and making new contacts. He emphasizes the importance of having a clear vision and the determination to achieve it, while also being prepared for challenges along the way.Join Bryan as he offers insights and practical advice on how to make the upcoming year a successful and fulfilling one, by focusing on personal growth and building a supportive community.https://www.relaxedmale.com/trycoaching

The podcast focuses on the concept of taking one's wife off a metaphorical pedestal in a relationship. The host, Bryan, discusses how men often idealize their wives, creating an unrealistic and ultimately harmful dynamic in their marriages.Bryan explains that when men place their wives on a pedestal, they create an impossible standard of perfection. This idealization actually prevents genuine connection and love. By elevating their wives to an unreachable status, men inadvertently create distance and pressure that makes it difficult for their wives to be themselves.The host, identifying as a recovering "nice guy," shares insights into how this pedestal mentality stems from feelings of unworthiness. Men often believe they don't deserve their wife's love, so they compensate by worshipping her. However, this approach backfires. It makes the wife uncomfortable and creates an unsustainable relationship dynamic where she feels constant pressure to maintain an impossible image.Bryan emphasizes that wives are human beings with complex emotions and changing states. They go through various phases - sometimes feeling sexy and energetic, other times tired and overwhelmed, especially during different life stages like parenthood. When men expect their wives to maintain a constant, idealized state, they set themselves up for disappointment and resentment.The key to a healthy relationship, according to Bryan, is accepting your wife's full humanity. This means allowing her to experience and express her emotions without trying to fix or judge them. It means being comfortable with her changing appearance, mood, and priorities. By removing her from the pedestal and treating her as an equal partner, men actually create space for deeper love and connection.Bryan also addresses the challenge this presents for men, who are naturally inclined to solve problems and take action. He advises listeners to resist the urge to immediately fix their wife's emotions and instead simply be present and accepting.Towards the end of the podcast, Bryan promotes an upcoming workshop called "Storm Master" aimed at helping men improve their relationships by understanding and managing their internal emotional landscape. He encourages listeners to share the podcast with others who might benefit from its insights about relationship dynamics and personal growth.The overall message is profound in its simplicity: true love means accepting your partner completely, without conditions or unrealistic expectations, and allowing them the freedom to be fully human.

In this episode of Coaching Conversations, Bryan Goodwin and I dive into the critical role instructional coaching plays in transforming education. We begin by talking about the importance of understanding where we are right now in order to drive meaningful change. Without a clear picture of our current reality, it's tough to know where to start or how to move forward.Brian makes a powerful analogy, comparing educational improvement to personal health goals. Just as it's essential to know where you stand in terms of your own health before making a plan, it's equally vital to understand where teachers are in their practice before setting new goals. This insight really drives home the need for a realistic baseline.We also introduce a practical "playbook" that takes the best research on teaching and turns it into actionable steps for educators. It's not enough to just know what works — we need tools that help educators take concrete action in their classrooms. And here's the key: the work doesn't stop after a few sessions. Ongoing coaching is essential to help teachers embed new practices and continue to grow.Above all, we stress the importance of setting personalized, student-centered goals, and maintaining a culture of continuous support. When we focus on what's best for students — and equip educators with the resources and coaching they need — we can truly create the kind of teaching and learning that leads to lasting change.Thank you for being a part of our community. Feedback: We love hearing from you! Leave us a rating or comment to let us know what you think.Stay Connected: Follow our podcast for more episodes packed with insights and inspiration.Learn more about Effective Instructional Coaching for Improved Classroom Instruction: https://www.instructionalcoaching.com/workshop/effective-instructional-coaching-for-improved-classroom-instruction/ 

This week on The Relaxed Male, we have a special guest, Dawn Wiggins, host of the podcast Dear Divorce Diaries. We dive deep into the world of marriage counseling and explore what couples can expect from therapy. Dawn shares insights on how to navigate the painful journey of divorce and offers strategies to prevent it by fostering healthier relationships.We discuss the concept of conflict avoidance, a common issue many men face, and how it impacts relationships. Dawn explains the importance of emotional processing and the dangers of becoming "comfortably numb" through distractions like work, screens, and substances. We explore how men can step into conflict constructively and create relationships worth fighting for.Dawn shares her experiences with homeopathy and its impact on emotional well-being, offering a fresh perspective on alternative medicine. We also touch on the importance of grounding oneself in a belief system and how it can provide stability during conflicts.Throughout the episode, we emphasize the significance of self-acceptance and understanding repetitive patterns in relationships. Dawn provides practical advice for men to improve their connections with their partners by observing and addressing deeper issues.Join us for an enlightening conversation that challenges traditional views on masculinity and offers actionable steps for personal growth and relationship improvement.Information on Our GuestDawn Wiggins TherapyShe specializes in EMDR, Tapping, Marriage therapy, and psychotherapy. With her offices based in Florida, she does in-person and online sessions. Dawn also is a divorce coach helping women learn to process their thoughts and emotions so that they are able to grow from their experience.Divorce Coaching - https://mycoachdawn.com/Dawn's Therapy Website - https://www.dawnwigginstherapy.com/Podcast: Dear Divorce Diary- https://mycoachdawn.com/divorce-podcast/Dawns Social MediaFacebook - https://www.facebook.com/MyCoachDawnX - https://x.com/dawn_wigginsInstagram - https://www.instagram.com/dawnwiggins/Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/@DawnWigginsLMFTBocaRatonThreads - https://www.threads.net/@dawnwiggins

Join Jim and Jessica as they celebrate a significant milestone—the 100th episode of Coaching Conversations! Recorded live at TLC 2024 in vibrant New Orleans, this special Q&A episode is filled with reflections, insights, and listener engagement.Episode Structure:Part One: High Low Buffalo In this segment, Jim and Jessica share their highs, lows, and random thoughts about the first 99 episodes of the podcast.Jim's Highs:The privilege of interviewing thought leaders like Dan Pink, Michael Bungay Stanier, Haesun Moon, Dr. Christopher Emdin, and Zaretta Hammond.His favorite podcast moment with Christian van Nieuwerburgh during a trip across Route 66.The joy of collaborating with Jessica Wise.Jessica's Highs:Living vicariously through Jim's experiences.Their first podcast together, recapping TLC 2023.Discovering they are "vampire listeners" on Spotify and learning from their guests.Jim's Lows:The unrealized potential of coaching when not approached with a focus on kids and partnership.Frustration over research not being utilized effectively in coaching practices.Jessica's Lows:The recurring “if only…” sentiment and the challenge of reaching more educators.A desire for deeper follow-ups with podcast guests.Random Thoughts (Buffalo):Jim shares his childhood dream of being a talk show host, which the podcast allows him to fulfill.Jessica humorously recalls her anxiety about accidentally calling Jim "Jimothy" during their first Q&A.Part Two: Listener Questions Jim and Jessica dive into listener inquiries, discussing the future of research in instructional coaching and strategies for fostering better conversations with school leadership.Future Research: Jim highlights his collaboration with Bryan Goodwin on a new book that merges the science of learning and teaching, emphasizing the need for more research in coaching.Creating Better Conversations: Jessica offers tips for instructional coaches to build rapport with school leaders, focusing on community-building and maintaining role clarity.As they wrap up this celebratory episode, Jim expresses his gratitude for working alongside Jessica and reflects on the ongoing journey of coaching conversations. Tune in for a heartfelt and insightful discussion that honors the past while looking forward to the future!Thank you for being a part of our community. Feedback: We love hearing from you! Leave us a rating or comment to let us know what you think.Stay Connected: Follow our podcast for more episodes packed with insights and inspiration.Learn more about High Impact Instruction:  https://shorturl.at/Ad2eTLearn more about Creating an Instructional Playbook: https://shorturl.at/f5VkT

In this final episode of our series on intimacy, we delve into the realm of physical intimacy. Over the past ten weeks, we've explored various forms of intimacy, including emotional, intellectual, spiritual, experiential, social, creative, conflict, aesthetic, and work. Today, we focus on the nuances of physical intimacy, a topic that often garners significant attention and curiosity.Physical intimacy is more than just the act of sex; it encompasses a range of interactions, from holding hands to sharing a hug. These gestures release chemicals like oxytocin, fostering a sense of connection and bonding. We discuss how societal norms can sometimes hinder men from expressing their emotions, which are crucial for building emotional intimacy with their partners.We also touch on the importance of conflict intimacy, which allows couples to engage in healthy disagreements and grow stronger together. This episode emphasizes that physical intimacy is deeply intertwined with other forms of intimacy, and improving these areas can enhance one's overall relationship.For those seeking to deepen their understanding and practice of intimacy, I offer insights into how to work on emotional, intellectual, and spiritual connections. By focusing on these areas, physical intimacy will naturally follow, leading to a more fulfilling and balanced relationship.Join me as we wrap up this enlightening series and prepare for next week's episode featuring a special guest, Don Wiggins.

What is Work initiative?In this week's episode of The Relaxed Male, we delve into the concept of work intimacy, a lesser-known but vital form of intimacy that influences our relationships both at home and in the workplace. Host Brian Goodwin explores how work intimacy fits into the broader spectrum of intimacy types, including emotional, intellectual, and experiential intimacy. He discusses the importance of effective communication and collaboration with our partners and colleagues, emphasizing how these interactions can strengthen our bonds and lead to personal growth.Brian shares personal anecdotes about the challenges and rewards of working closely with a spouse, highlighting the need for presence and understanding in shared projects. He explains how work intimacy is not just about professional relationships but also about how we share our work experiences and problem-solving processes with our partners. This episode encourages listeners to embrace discomfort as a path to achieving deeper connections and a more fulfilling life.Listeners are invited to reflect on their own work intimacy and consider how it impacts their overall relationship health. Brian also offers a preview of next week's episode, which will focus on physical intimacy, and extends an invitation to try a free coaching session to explore personal challenges further.LinksMini Coaching Session - https://www.relaxedmale.com/trycoachingPodcast 2.0 app - https://www.relaxedmale.com/newapps

In this episode of The Relaxed Male, we delve into the concept of aesthetic intimacy, exploring how aesthetics and intimacy intertwine in our lives. As part of a series on different types of intimacy, We discuss the importance of sharing beautiful experiences with loved ones, particularly spouses, to strengthen relationships. Aesthetic intimacy is about appreciating the beauty around us, whether it's a sunset, a piece of art, or a simple walk with a partner, and how these shared moments can enhance our connections.Bryan shares personal anecdotes, such as visiting Sunset Cliffs with his family and dog, to illustrate how aesthetic experiences can bond people together. He emphasizes the significance of being intentional in recognizing beauty in everyday life and how this can prevent relationships from becoming mundane.The episode also touches on the broader spectrum of intimacy, including physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual, and how aesthetic intimacy fits into this framework. Bryan argues that aesthetic intimacy is a subset of experiential intimacy, highlighting the need for both beauty and ugliness to appreciate life fully.Listeners are encouraged to engage in aesthetic experiences with their partners, to "stop and smell the roses," and to embrace both the beautiful and challenging aspects of life. Bryan also introduces a 4-week challenge starting January 1st, aimed at helping men calm their inner disturbances and improve their relationships.

In this week's episode, we delve into the concept of conflict intimacy, a crucial yet often overlooked aspect of relationships. Drawing inspiration from an article on Choose Therapy, we explore the ten different types of intimacy, focusing particularly on conflict intimacy and its significance in maintaining a healthy relationship.Conflict intimacy, as discussed, is the ability to engage in and resolve conflicts constructively. It is essential for preventing relationships from becoming stagnant and for avoiding the "roommate syndrome." We revisit the various types of intimacy, including emotional, intellectual, spiritual, experiential, social, and creative, and discuss how conflict intimacy intertwines with these aspects.We explore why many people, especially men, avoid conflict due to fears of emotional upheaval and potential negative outcomes, such as impacting sexual relationships. However, embracing conflict can lead to deeper understanding and connection, as it involves sharing emotions, thoughts, and experiences.Drawing insights from experts like Dr. John Gottman and Jason Gaddis, we highlight the importance of conflict in fostering a thriving relationship. We discuss how discomfort is a necessary currency for achieving desired outcomes and how conflict can lead to personal growth and stronger bonds.Listeners are encouraged to embrace conflict as a means of enhancing intimacy and communication with their partners. By understanding and practicing effective conflict resolution, couples can transform their relationships, creating a more fulfilling and connected partnership.

We are exploring the world of Creative Intimacy todayIn this episode of The Relaxed Male, we delve into the concept of creative intimacy, one of the ten types of intimacy outlined by Choose Therapy. As we explore whether creative intimacy is a legitimate form of intimacy, I share my personal insights and invite listeners to form their own opinions.Creative intimacy involves the ability to collaborate with your partner on creative projects, such as making music, writing, or crafting. It requires a shared vision and the willingness to navigate differences in approach and opinion. This process can strengthen your relationship by fostering communication and compromise.Throughout the episode, I discuss the various types of intimacy, including physical, emotional, intellectual, spiritual, experiential, social, conflict, aesthetic, and work intimacy. Each type offers a unique way to connect with your partner, and creative intimacy is no exception.While some may argue that creative intimacy is simply an extension of experiential intimacy, I believe it offers its own distinct challenges and rewards. By engaging in creative projects, couples can learn more about themselves and each other, ultimately enhancing their bond.Join me as we unpack the nuances of creative intimacy and consider its role in building stronger relationships. Whether you're sculpting a clay bust or writing a book together, the creative process can be a powerful tool for connection.

Host BrYan Goodwin, a certified coach, explores the ten different types of intimacy, focusing this week on social intimacy. He explains how social intimacy is essentially the connections we form with others, whether they are long-term relationships or brief interactions with acquaintances like a barista. Brian emphasizes the importance of maintaining these connections as we age, noting that societal changes and personal anxieties often hinder our ability to nurture friendships.BrYan discusses the challenges men face in forming and maintaining friendships, highlighting the societal pressures and personal fears that often lead to loneliness. He stresses the importance of having a strong community pillar, referencing Jim Rohn's idea that we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with. By intentionally building a network of supportive friends, men can improve their mental, physical, and spiritual well-being.The episode also touches on the significance of social intimacy within marriages. BrYan explains how couples often neglect this aspect of their relationship, leading to a lack of connection and intimacy over time. He offers practical advice on how to rekindle social intimacy with a partner, emphasizing the importance of communication and understanding.Throughout the episode, BrYan encourages listeners to step out of their comfort zones and actively work on building and maintaining friendships. He provides actionable steps for improving social intimacy, both in friendships and romantic relationships, and offers coaching support for those seeking to enhance their personal connections.LinksNew Podcast 2.0 Apps - https://www.newpodcastapps.comCoaching - https://wwww.relaxedmale.com/lovebirds

In this episode of The Relaxed Male, we delve into the concept of experiential intimacy, a crucial yet often overlooked aspect of relationships. Experiential intimacy involves sharing and bonding over life experiences with your partner, which can significantly strengthen your relationship. We explore why these shared experiences are vital and how they act as the cement that holds relationships together.Drawing inspiration from a Choose Therapy post on the ten types of intimacy, we focus on experiential intimacy and its importance in creating lasting bonds. We discuss how shared experiences, whether mundane or exciting, can enhance your connection with your spouse. From visiting museums to going on adventures, these activities can help maintain the bond that might weaken over time if not nurtured.We also provide practical tips on how to cultivate experiential intimacy. Whether it's going on a new adventure, trying out a couple's retreat, or simply volunteering together, these activities can bring you closer to your partner. Even individual trips can contribute to this intimacy by providing new stories and experiences to share.Join us as we explore the significance of experiential intimacy and how it can transform your relationship, helping you live life intentionally with your partner. Tune in to learn more about how to strengthen your relationship through shared experiences.LINKSQuestions that will Spark a conversation - https://www.relaxedmale.com/askquestionsIf you would like to reclaim your bride and leave the mediocrity of roommate syndrome behind, then it is time to take the next step.Take The Next Step - https://www.relaxedmale.com/lovebirds

In this week's episode of The Relaxed Male, we delve into the concept of spiritual intimacy, continuing our exploration of the ten different types of intimacy as outlined by Choose Therapy. Having previously discussed emotional and intellectual intimacy, we now turn our attention to understanding each other's spiritual journeys. This episode challenges the notion of being spiritual without being religious and explores how spiritual beliefs can impact relationships.Host Bryan Goodwin shares his personal insights and struggles with the topic, emphasizing the importance of discussing spiritual beliefs with your partner. He highlights how spiritual intimacy can strengthen a relationship, even when partners have differing beliefs. Through personal anecdotes and thoughtful reflections, Brian encourages listeners to engage in open conversations about spirituality, respect differing beliefs, and find common ground.The episode also touches on the significance of traditions and rituals in fostering spiritual intimacy, offering practical advice on how to honor and serve each other in a spiritual sense. Bryan underscores the value of curiosity and understanding in building stronger connections, not just with partners, but with family and community as well.Listeners are invited to reflect on their own spiritual journeys and consider how they can enhance their spiritual intimacy with loved ones. Bryan offers coaching services for those seeking to improve their relationships and invites listeners to connect with him for further guidance.

In this episode of The Relaxed Male, host Bryan Goodwin delves into the concept of intellectual intimacy, exploring its significance in relationships. Building on last week's discussion on emotional intimacy, Bryan questions whether intellectual intimacy is a genuine form of connection or simply a modern construct. He shares insights from various sources, including a book on the pillars of marriage and a website listing ten types of intimacy, to understand this concept better.Bryan explains that intellectual intimacy involves respecting and valuing each other's thoughts and insights. He emphasizes that this form of intimacy is often the first to diminish in relationships, leading to internal arguments and a lack of respect for a partner's ideas. Brian encourages listeners to stop these mental debates and instead engage in open discussions with their partners, allowing for a deeper understanding and appreciation of each other's perspectives.The episode highlights the importance of intellectual intimacy in fostering curiosity, enhancing communication, and building a richer, more fulfilling relationship. Brian offers practical advice on how to cultivate this intimacy, such as engaging in discussions, asking questions, and learning something new together. He also provides a resource with 800 questions to help couples explore each other's thoughts and beliefs.Bryan concludes by inviting listeners to share their thoughts on improving relationships and encourages them to reach out with questions or comments. He also asks for feedback on what listeners would like to know to enhance their relationships, aiming to tailor future content to their needs.Help me by answering questionhttps://www.relaxedmale.com/helpme

In this week's episode of The Relaxed Male, host Bryan Goodwin delves into the complex world of emotional intimacy. Bryan, a certified men's coach, shares his journey of understanding intimacy better to help men improve their relationships. He introduces the concept of emotional intimacy, distinguishing it from physical intimacy, and explains its importance in a healthy marriage. Bryan discusses the various types of intimacy, including intellectual, spiritual, experiential, social, creative, conflict, aesthetic, and work intimacy, and announces a 10-week series to explore each type in detail.Bryan emphasizes the significance of emotional intimacy in marriage, describing it as the ability to express feelings, both positive and negative, and to receive them with understanding. He challenges the notion of emotional validation, arguing that individuals must understand and express their own emotions rather than seeking validation from others. Brian shares personal anecdotes and insights, highlighting the common struggles men face in achieving emotional intimacy and offering practical advice on how to overcome these challenges.Listeners are encouraged to reflect on their own relationships and consider how they can improve their emotional intimacy with their partners. Bryan invites feedback and comments from the audience, fostering a community of men striving for better relationships and personal growth. Join Brian on this enlightening journey to discover the depths of emotional intimacy and its impact on your marriage.Show notes- https://www.relaxedmale.com/what-in-the-world-is-emotional-intimacy/Dont forget to help me see what I may have forgot and tell me what you would like to know that would help your relationship.https://www.relaxedmale.com/helpme

In this episode of The Relaxed Male, we delve deep into the complexities of conflict, particularly in relationships, where disagreements often escalate into more significant issues. I emphasize the importance of addressing these conflicts rather than avoiding them, as avoiding uncomfortable discussions can lead to resentment and unresolved feelings. I explain that conflict itself is not inherently negative but rather an opportunity for growth and understanding if handled correctly.As a certified men's coach, my mission is to help men escape the cycle of being a "nice guy," which often leads to self-sacrifice and relationship struggles. I focus on how men can learn to express their emotions constructively instead of resorting to avoidance or silence. Understanding that emotions are simply vibrations within the body can empower individuals to engage more genuinely with their partners.Throughout the episode, I outline what constitutes conflict, explaining that it often stems from differing thoughts about a shared experience – like a movie that one person loved and the other despised. Recognizing that these differing opinions are neutral circumstances until we assign meaning to them can shift the way we approach disagreements. I encourage listeners to be mindful of their thoughts during conflicts, as these thoughts shape the emotions we experience, which in turn dictate our actions and reactions.I highlight various conflict responses, including avoidance and anxiety, emphasizing the need for intention and awareness in navigating disagreements. By reframing our approach to conflict, we can allow our emotional minds to pause, think rationally, and respond appropriately. I introduce the concept of the "model," which illustrates that our feelings stem from our thoughts, not the actions of others, allowing men to take ownership of their emotional journeys.Additionally, I discuss the importance of understanding our spouses' perspectives during conflicts. I introduce the "four pillars of effective communication," derived from the teachings of Tony Overbay. These pillars stress the importance of not assuming ill intentions, recognizing emotions, seeking to understand before being understood, and avoiding victimhood in discussions. I explain that by adhering to these principles, men can navigate conversations more effectively, leading to healthy resolutions rather than destructive fights.The episode culminates in practical strategies for being present during conflicts. I advocate for being intentional about how we show up in our relationships, as well as the necessity for reflection after conflicts to analyze what went wrong or right. This self-awareness will lead to personal growth and improve interactions with our partners over time.For those who resonate with these insights and seek further guidance, I invite listeners to reach out for one-on-one coaching sessions aimed at fostering stronger, healthier relationships. Ultimately, the episode reinforces that conflict is a natural part of relationships, and how we handle it can either strengthen our bonds or create distance. As I wrap up, I encourage listeners to share their reflections and insights from this episode with friends or family, as the journey of becoming better partners is one worth sharing.

In episode 240 we dive deep into the common issue of 'roommate syndrome' in marriages. Bryan addresses the fading spark that many couples experience after years of being together. He explores whether it's possible to rekindle a marriage and offers practical steps to reignite the passion.Bryan discusses the importance of honesty—not just factual, but emotional honesty—and how to communicate effectively without overwhelming your partner. He emphasizes the need for thoughtful gestures, such as writing love letters and understanding your partner's love languages, to show that you care.Curiosity plays a crucial role in building a strong emotional connection. Bryan advises getting genuinely interested in your partner's likes and dislikes to foster better communication and intimacy. He also highlights the significance of paying attention to your thoughts, as they can shape your emotions and actions, ultimately affecting your relationship.Bryan shares personal anecdotes and practical tips, like the '6 by 6 rule' for hugs, to help couples reconnect physically and emotionally. He stresses the importance of intentional actions and continuous effort to maintain a fulfilling marriage.Whether you're dealing with minor disagreements or major conflicts, Bryan provides insights on how to navigate these challenges and come out stronger. Tune in to learn how to transform your marriage and live a life on your terms.

Marriage is an adventure. If you don't look at it as such then you run the risk of falling into a deep pit much like I did with Pitfall Harry. Marriage is not easy and in the early days can be wrought with lots of emotions and struggles. This is why so many marriages fail before reaching the 10-year mark. You first struggle with the idiosyncracies of the girl you dated. You noticed odd things you at first thought were cute habits of her being weird but now you are questioning if you can put with it her till the end of time. Why is she complaining that you leave clothes on the floor while her makeup has invaded your bathroom sink?There is a lot to marriage for sure. The funny part is that finding out how to divi up the chores is the least of the problems. That is because eventually kids get introduced and your way of life, for a short bit, is upended by the demands of a little life that depends on you to stay alive. Old habits and sometimes dreams get shuffled and relegated to the back burner as you adjust fire.Then on top of all this, you have to try to remember that your wife is still your girlfriend. Yeah, you see her in all her glory of just waking up and with breath that bubbles the paint on the doorjamb. You see her in times of immense vulnerability and she sees you in times of when you aren't the most romantic. Yeah, the random Dutch ovens are funny. There are those times when you and her cling together as you all try to support each other in uncertainty. You divide and conquer the changing of the bed right after your son says he doesn't feel good and erupts half-digested food across your legs while you are readying yourself for bed.So how do you keep the marriage alive and connected? We have discussed ways to keep a marriage connected but what are some of the more common pitfalls that can drain a marriage of its life? What do you not want to do if you don't want your marriage to fade and become another statistic? Here are 9 Pitfalls that will remove respect honor and trust from any marriage.The Victim MindsetIf you have listened to or read anything from this site, you know that victims receive no respect, and rightfully so. Yeah, that sounds harsh until you are trying to repeatedly pick up a victim. Then you realize that they will not take responsibility for their part in the current disaster they are in. The blame is always passed it is never their fault. It is one crisis after another. over and over again. The victim comes running wanting you to fix the problem, then pump their damaged ego up, and be thankful that they chose you to do the work.Now imagine if this was your spouse or worse it is you. You are supposed to be the head of the household and here you are passing the buck like you are the 5-year-old. The victim takes energy and vitality away from those around them. They don't take action to keep the problem from happening again. They just stand there looking to blame someone for the fact that they arrived in the same predicament as before.The victim is a taker. They take the energy drive of their target. They throw away their own self-respect and expect everyone else to prop them up. Stay out of the victim mindset. all that does is send you to the bottom of the trash heap.StonewallingMany times our wife will say something to us that will hurt our feelings. Yes, your wife is very good at creating thoughts that will hurt your feelings. The choice that you have with this is how are you going to respond. Many times she will nag you. This nagging will create thoughts that you are failing at keeping your word or not being responsible. Those thoughts will create feelings of shame and your action will be to shut down and not say anything. That lack of talking is stonewalling. It works, you can just not interact with your wife. That lack of interaction gets her frustrated enough that she just stops nagging you and goes and does something else. Mission accomplished right? Is that action really getting you the results you truly want?Stonewalling will create frustration in your wife. She may start to believe that you don't care about her. You do not want to connect with her anymore She will start to feel isolated and then her mind starts to run and that is where the emotions and thoughts can really cause some damage.Not communicating with your wife doesn't fix anything. Yeah she was bugging you, but why go in the opposite direction of what you actually want? You claim you want to have a stronger relationship with your wife. So why push her away? You know how to alleviate the nagging that she does. Yes, you can do what she asks, but there is a better way. Talk with her. Have conversations with your wife. Not only in the intense times but also in the down times. Stonewalling keeps you away from her more than it keeps her away from you. Believing you can control another personWhen we are married we want to think that the relationship is going to be great. That is until our spouse does something that we find irritating. Then we would like them to stop. We may wish that they do more of something that we do like. Whatever action we would like our spouse to perform sadly isn't in our hands. it is up to them to do so. You can't control them. You can try to manipulate or coerce your wife to do something but is it better if she does it from her own will or yours? I can guarantee that it feels better to you when she does that from her own accord and not from your willTrying to make your spouse happyNow this is something you will hear many women state about their man. He doesn't make me happy. The same thing happens with men too, except we don't voice it as often. We get resentful because our spouse isn't controllable. We just want our wives to make us happy yet they fail at it all the time.However, if you pay attention you will see that your wife struggles with her own happiness. So why would you put your happiness in the hands of someone who struggles with making even themselves happy? This is why one of the best gifts you can give your wife is the absolution of her responsibility to make you happy. Let her know that isn't her responsibility anymore. She doesn't have to struggle with it anymore. You will take on that responsibility.Now she will still have her own thoughts about that declaration and not fully understand it at first. However, she will grasp that you aren't seeing another woman and that you are taking your happiness into your own hands and not playing the victimanymore.Not Being CuriousSadly we stop being curious about our spouse and the late-night talks of random things start to fade. Why? because we stop being curious. We stop wondering about our wife and her thoughts. If you want a strong powerful connected relationship. you have to keep being curious. not blaming but actual curiosity about where she is coming from on a particular action. Why something is as important to her as it is. Letting her say why instead of just believing you know why will fix the hanging dread of disconnection.Dropping Date NightWhen we are dating our wife we set up date nights we make them fun and exciting. They end in romantic romps in bed. That last part is when we want so much so that we know that we are doing good. The problem is that we stop with the work that results in the romps. If you want to have more sex you have to woo your wife and we often stop treating our wife as our girlfriend and that is easy to alleviate when you change how you are looking at your wife.Being able to laughWhy have we as men stopped being light-hearted? Why does everything have to be so darn serious? What if you let up on the seriousness a little and allowed yourself to laugh in front of your wife and kids? What if you took things just a little less seriously?When you can get your wife to smile and laugh because you are being a goofball she can relax and is open to connecting more.Taking words too seriouslyAs mentioned before you are going to hear thoughts from your wife that you'll take personally and these will cause you to feel ashamed embarrassed frustrated or more. This is because you chose to take what she said personally. She may have called yo lazy or worse but you can choose to agree with the statement or not agree and let the pain that comes with those words not even come close to hitting you..Leaving a disagreement unfinished.In times of conflict, it can seem that words and thoughts are flung around like axes and bullets. Even though they can't cause any harm we will allow the thoughts to keep us disconnected. We will pull away the connections we have with our wife. And often sulk to our corner instead of finding a solution no matter how scary it may appear and talking it out till we have a solution, That resolution is important to allow us to reconnect and grow from our experienceMany wonderful times allow you to look at your marriage with fondness. There are times that we also look at our spouse with a thought that is short of fondness. When we do that start looking at when you stopped dating your wife and when you all stop talking. Find a way that you can bring that marital spark back. It's not too late. You just have to start taking actionIf you would like to take your marriage from eggshells to excitement Please take the Next Step and sign up for a free consulting session.

When we have topics of discussion with other people there are times that we may mess up and we start to say words that we don't mean and try to intentionally inflict pain upon the other person. We just are caught up in our emotions and trying to inflict pain on each other. When we are actively trying to destroy the trust and connection we have, the hope of having a better connection is gone. We fall into victim mindsets and fight because we see the conflict at hand being a matter of life or death. How do you stop the emotional destruction that is being inflicted on both parties? One way to do that is to have a do-over.When is it good to have a do-over?When you see that you are going into panic mode.You see that you have made a huge misstep and said something you instantly regret (ie 97% rule)When the participants are moving to their perspective corners for battle.When you see that the conflict of ramping up.Something was misunderstood and you have a better way to say it.What is a do-over?It is when you stop a discussion and ask to try againWhen you are having an argument or a normal discussion that is wearing into territory that is going to be a fight or you realize that you said something that isn't helping the situation at all. You stop the discussion and politely as if YOU can have a do-over.Why is a do-over good for a relationship?Shows you are trying to do better.You are attempting to better how you communicate. YOu are wanting to take responsibility for what you sayHow do you implement a do-over?The moment you realize that your discussion isn't going in the direction of having a better connection you have misstepped and want to try again you can stop the discussion and try once more. If you would like to reclaim your bride and leave the mediocrity of roommate syndrome behind, then it is time to take the next step.Take The Next Step

Bryan recounts how he had been neglecting to mow his lawn in his small town. He previously had someone mowing it for him, but that arrangement fell through. The city eventually sent a notice about his overgrown lawn, and his wife was told it would cost $400 to have the city mow it. Bryan initially reacted with anger and fell into a victim mindset.As he reflects on the situation, Bryan realizes he is making excuses and playing the victim. He acknowledges that he hadn't been trying hard to find a replacement lawn service and recognizes that mowing the lawn himself could actually be beneficial for his health. He discusses how others in town were complaining about the situation, which leads him to contemplate why people feel the need to mow their lawns and societal expectations.The host then describes his shift in perspective, seeing the situation as an opportunity for physical activity and self-improvement. He plans to be more intentional with his time and make changes to his routine. Bryan emphasizes the importance of processing emotions and not staying in a negative mindset, encouraging listeners to step up to challenges rather than avoiding them.Relating the lawn mowing situation to broader relationship issues, Bryan stresses the importance of putting effort into relationships to keep them strong. He promotes a 3-month coaching program aimed at helping men improve their relationships.The episode concludes with Bryan encouraging listeners to share the podcast and avoid the victim mindset. He mentions upcoming live recordings and new ways to access the podcast. The overall message of the episode is about recognizing and overcoming the victim mindset, taking responsibility for one's actions, and using challenges as opportunities for personal growth and relationship improvement. If you would like to reclaim your bride and leave the mediocrity of roommate syndrome behind, then it is time to take the next step.Take The Next Step

Why even have a stronger connection?Better conflict resolution - You will have conflicts and those conflicts can be making or breaking points for your relationship.More trust - When you both know you will not take everything said personally then the trust starts to form.More intimacy -Us guys do like our sexy timeBetter connectionsIt is not personal, it is just someone sharing what they are thinking with the other person. It isn't real it is just a thought. Thoughts aren't as scary as you would like to believe.It's not life and death. It is just talking and at times with the volume turned up a bit.Stop managing the other person's emotions That destroys trustIt's ok if they get upset it is their emotions that were created by their own thoughts.Understand that you and your spouse are just sharing thoughts. https://alchemy-of-love.com/expert-relationship-advice/how-to-communicate-relationshipAsk questions - How else are you going to learn about your wife?Stop trying to be vulnerable with her and just be present - She doesn't want your emotional weaknesses. She wants you to be strong for her and the kids.If she asks how you feel tell her, but don't just throw it all at her for her to try to sort outHow do you have better connections?How you have better connections isn't as easy as just doing it you have to work on your thoughts and get your thoughts and beliefs in order. Because if you don't then you will find yourself in a battle instead of having a discussion that will make your connections stronger. When you are able to have the hard uncomfortable discussions your wife will come to understand you better and you will understand her better too. Then the strength of the connection grows and the marriage that you have wanted from the beginning will start to appear. But it will never happen till you start working on yourself. That takes the next step. If you would like to reclaim your bride and leave the mediocrity of roommate syndrome behind, then it is time to take the next step.Take The Next Step

Clues that your relationship is failingDreading going homeFighting over little stuffEntertaining the idea of divorceYou may be intentionally spending time apart.Little to no sexYou are blaming the other person for your unhappinessLack of TImeMarried for the wrong reasonsMaterial ItemsLooking to the pastEnding The RelationshipWhy you might end the relationshipWhen you have one or more of the three A'sThese are the key points that trust falls apart so much that it can destroy any chance of reconciliationAbuseAddictionAffairWhen there is no benefit to the relationship anymoreThere has been too much damageThe emotional tank is completely emptyNo communicationExpectations are too highMany times relationships run their course.Going down different life pathsLack of TImeMarried for the wrong reasonsMaterial ItemsLooking to the pastMarriage.comWhy do you hold onSo I want your relationship to end?For the other person's BenefitWhen Hold on to a relationship?You both are willing to work on the relationshipMoney isn't a reason for splitting up unless it is from the 3 A'slIf you believe your life will be better with another personIt wontLeaving to teach them a lessonIn this episode of The Relaxed Male, we delve into the complex and often painful topic of when a relationship ends. Host Brian Goodwin, a certified men's coach, discusses the signs and reasons why relationships may come to an end and explores the critical moments when a relationship might need to end versus when it can be saved. Brian emphasizes the importance of recognizing the warning signs that a relationship is in trouble, such as constant fighting over trivial matters, lack of communication, and the dreaded 'roommate syndrome.' He also highlights the significance of understanding one's own role in the relationship's dynamics and taking responsibility for personal actions. The episode also covers the three major deal-breakers in a relationship: abuse, addictions, and affairs, and why these issues often lead to the end of a relationship. Brian provides insights into how to handle these situations and the importance of trust and communication in maintaining a healthy relationship. Additionally, Brian discusses the importance of living life with intention and how intentional actions and thoughts can help in saving a relationship. He offers practical advice on how to rebuild a relationship by improving communication and understanding each other's needs. Whether you're struggling in your current relationship or just want to understand more about the dynamics of relationships, this episode provides valuable insights and practical advice to help you navigate these challenging situations. If you would like to reclaim your bride and leave the mediocrity of roommate syndrome behind, then it is time to take the next step.Take The Next Step

If you would like to reclaim your bride and leave the mediocrity of roommate syndrome behind, then it is time to take the next step.Take The Next StepWe go through emotions hourly. Those emotions correlate with the different thoughts that we have. It is said that we have around 60,000 thoughts a day. That means that we have around 60,000 emotions a day. Now incorporate the 50-50 principle and you have half of your thoughts are gonna be good thoughts because they generate good emotions and the other half are gonna be bad thoughts that generate bad emotions.Many many times we struggle with negative emotions. We avoid those negative emotions. We get angry or frustrated because we have a thought that we don't wanna have and so we feel bad about that which causes us to have those negative emotions that pile onto other negative emotions, unlike algebra two negatives don't make a positive.Because we avoid the negative emotions, we don't allow those emotions to have their moment and because of that those emotions get stuffed down they get tucked away. This is where we get so many of our assorted problems cropping up. People who experience emotions, but don't know how to handle those emotions. For instance, men who have decided they're not supposed to cry, often take a lot longer to grieve the loss of a loved one. They don't approach The problems from the same direction because they are too busy, avoiding feeling negative.So what are emotions? Why is it important to process those emotions? And how do you process those emotions? What are emotions?In a nutshell, emotions are vibrations that are felt throughout your body. Sometimes those vibrations are pleasant other times those vibrations are unpleasant. This is what makes a positive emotion and negative emotion; it's just how they vibrate within your body.So you have a thought that generates a sensation that is felt through your body. This is why your thoughts create your emotions.Why is it important to process one's Emotions?When you don't process those emotions, you end up reacting to the emotions unintentionally. When you are processing the emotions, you're experiencing the emotion you're going through the emotional life cycle, which only lasts one to two minutes.Many people struggle with the reaction to how short emotions are because they don't realize that they are in thought loops that extend the pain of that emotion.Yet when we process those emotions, we experience the emotion and then the emotion fades. Now, yes, that emotion may come back because we have that same thought again but the strength as to what that emotion is is nowhere near as powerful as it was the first time. And each time you process the motion, it becomes a little more easier to experience. It'll never go away, and we wouldn't want it to go away. Because our emotions are what make humans human.When do you Process emotions?You can process emotions anywhere. I often recommend people start learning how to process their emotions while in their living room sitting on the couch so they can put their full focus into what they are experiencing. That way you understand what thoughts you're having that are creating the emotions you can describe the emotion and give the emotion a name.Yet the best time to process any emotion is when you realize you were feeling it. You feel sadness. It's best to go ahead and process the motion then or first place where it's safe to do so processing anger or fear when you notice that you're feeling a bad emotion. Go through the process and experience that emotion. Let that emotion live its lifespan which is not long at all.How do you process an emotion?Processing emotions is very simple. You just have to be able to understand when you're experiencing an emotion. Many times I will experience an emotion and not realize it. This is the reason why we buffer so much. We buffer because there's an emotion that crops up that we don't want to experience so we turn to drugs or alcohol or video games or Food or porn because we don't want to experience some emotion. It might be the emotion of rejection or the emotion of boredom. These are two of the bigger reasons that we buffer. These are based out of fear, all others can be based on other emotions.To process an emotion and notice that it's happening, the first thing to do is give it a name. Are you feeling sadness? Are you feeling bored? Are you feeling anger, jealousy, powerlessness? What is the emotion that you are feeling?Describe where you feel that emotion. Is it on your head? Is the sensation on top of your head? Is it felt on your shoulders or on top of your shoulders? Maybe behind your shoulders? Is the emotion felt down your back or between your shoulder blades? Maybe it is off to one side or is it in your chest? Is the emotion felt in your chest, or in your stomach? Maybe you are feeling the emotion in your knees or in your thighs? Where in your body are you feeling? The emotion the most? Where do you feel that Vibration is strongest? Then pretend that you're able to hold that emotion in your hands. Now start describing that emotion physically. Does it feel heavy, does it feel light? Does that emotion have a texture? Like sandpapery or scaly or is it glass smooth? Is it hot or is it cold? Is it somewhere between dense or light and fluffy? These are all aspects of an emotion that you can learn to look at so that you can fully experience that emotion as you go.If you are struggling with naming the emotion, there is an app that can provide a lot of insight into the type of emotion you are feeling.Take The Next StepYou can have your relationship dreams come true.You can by taking the next step. You can have a relationship that is fun, loving, and fulfilling. You can have late nights of curiosity-fueled talks. All this is possible when you get coached.Right now I am making a very special offer that will only last for a limited time. If you are interested in Getting coached for 95% off Then sign up quickly cause the space is limited and they are filling fast.TAKE THE NEXT STEP

If you would like to reclaim your bride and leave the mediocrity of roommate syndrome behind, then it is time to take the next step.Take The Next StepIf you want to have a better relationship you have to improve yourself. How are you going to help inspire those around you to be better people if you aren't willing to improve yourself? We all have the ability to influence those who are around us. Jim Rohn said it best. You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. So it stands to reason that those people will also have you as part of their average.When it comes to our relationships, being able to improve ourselves is crucial. Our relationships are important. However, their times when relationships come to an end or we do something that creates strive in that relationship. No relationship is perfect, but we can strive to get better with every interaction with other people.No matter if it is from a fight with your wife or you are going through the loss of a breakup. If you want the best out of the relationship and your life, you can't just sit on your laurels. You have to be willing to work toward an ultimate goal. That goal could be a stronger relationship. A better means of communication. You may decide you want to have a more, secure connection with your spouse.How are you supposed to improve your relationship? Anytime our relationship gets a bit rocky, maybe we have some type of disagreement or other types of conflict, and our connection with that person breaks down. How do we repair that damage? Can we even repair that damage?The answer is yes, you can repair a relationship. You can make a relationship stronger. But it takes effort from you.Now you may wonder why I am putting all the weight on you instead of you and your spouse. That is because you can't control your spouse. The only person you have control over is you. So how do you start having better connections with your spouse in particular And other people as a whole?Work on the basicsas with everything in life, if you have a breakdown of a system, the best thing to do is to go back to the basics. Get simple before you get complex. So for you being a guy wanting to have a better connection with your wife, the best place to start is with the four pillars of The Relaxed Male.Your 4 pillarsI have talked about the four pillars of The Relaxed Male many times. Because they are crucial for a well-balanced man in any scenario that he may face in today's world. The basics of the four pillars allow you to become well-rounded and is a good foundation for you to start any self-improvement.Man's MindYou are nothing if you do not have your mind. This is why improving how you think. Improving how you approach your world is all based on what you know.Many men stop reading stop learning and stop growing shortly after they get out of college. They believe they know all that they need to know they've hated reading and have such a stigma on learning that they don't have anything to do with picking up another book for a very long time.That is a huge detriment to us men. We need to be learning new skills. We need to keep our minds active. Whether that is through hobbies or whatever is currently troubling us your mind is the only way you're going to grow as a person.Realizing when you're doing stuff that is uncomfortable and being OK with that discomfort is needed almost as much as food. The price for your dreams and aspirations is the discomfort.So how do you learn new stuff? A lot of that is through Books. Reading about a topic you are interested in or a challenge you're facing allows for you to get a better insight to what you want to accomplish. Do you get better results when you are willing to read and educate yourself?Besides books, there are plenty of other means of learning in today's world. From Podcasts like the one you are listening to now to conferences to meetups the phrase where there's a will, there's a way is no more evident now than ever all you have to do is decide you want to learn. Man's BodyThe man's body is your health. That old adage if you don't have your health, you've got nothing into a lot of you being able to have that self-improvement that you're wanting. If you want to have a stronger connection with your wife, nothing like getting in shape. If you want to have, the ability to show her you can't protect her and your family from the bad guys. You have to be able to have endurance. You get endurance from exercise. Do you want to show your wife that you're going to be around for the long haul? That is you get regular exercise and eat right.Man's SoulWhat is your calling? What is your purpose? These are often meant as the same thing for, what feeds your soul?  men need a purpose to get out of bed. Men who are listless, angry, lost don't have a purpose, or they have lost their purpose. Yet we need these drivers to ensure that our lives will be fulfilled. Our lives often become empty when we don't have a sense of purpose. Man's CommunityThis is the most important pillar that us men need to focus on. This is what allows us to work harder love deeper and have stronger connections with other people.This Band of Brothers helps you become a better Man. They help you by sharing their lives with you. You acquire a better sense of masculinity when you are around other men regularly. Other points that helpWell, the four pillars of Relaxed mail are great and they are a good foundation to have their other things you wanna do that help you improve your relationships by helping you improve yourself.Failure is goodKnow that anything you try is going to have the possibility of failing. We shy away from failure because it doesn't feel good. It doesn't give us a good sense of pride. It doesn't shine a good light on our ability.However, we learn from failure. We learn better ways of living our life when we fail at it. We learn what type of relationships we want as opposed to what relationships we don't want. We learn what it takes to have a strong connected family that growing up from time to time. You can't be a good friend to other men without offending them and saying things that they don't agree with at different times. Failure offers you the opportunity to grow learn and improve. It's actually better to fail several times before you have success than to have immediate success. This is because you now understand why that success feels so good.Pay attention to your ruminationsWhat is it you're thinking of? When you face a problem and you have a failure what are you thinking about? That is what's holding you back. Pay attention to what you are ruminating over. When you do, you can start understanding what thoughts you need to interrupt.Get Better at Having DisagreementsWe are going to have disagreements with our spouses, our relatives, and our friends from time to time. The key to having a strong connected relationship is actually knowing how to have disagreements and not having them mean whatever you make them mean.Whenever you have a disagreement and you can accept that your spouse, your kids, your friend, your boss, or someone on the street has a different view. You can actually come to understand them better and more fully by having disagreements with them. Doesn't mean you go around trolling other people for the sake of trolling, but when you have open and honest discussions about disagreements, you grow from that experience.Don't run from discomfort. Don't run from the awkwardness of having a disagreement the emotions that you feel are strictly from the thoughts that you have. Get A CoachOne way you can have a better relationship is also by getting a coach. They can help you step through the discomfort and the thoughts that you have that are keeping you from having the relationship you want.

If you would like to reclaim your bride and leave the mediocrity of roommate syndrome behind, then it is time to take the next step.Take The Next StepWe all experience pain at one time or another. Pain can be a physical sensation from a Papercut or it could be from an emotion. The pain that I am talking about today is emotional pain. The feeling that we get from the emotions that we don't like. Emotions, for instance, powerlessness, frustration, fear, uncertainty, insecurity, humiliation, lost, are often viewed as painful and are often avoided.These emotions and more similar to them are unpleasant to experience. Often when we feel these emotions, we want to hide from them. We want to buffer or indulge in some other activity than what we really need to be doing. It's easier to avoid feeling these uncomfortable emotions. Nobody likes feeling lost or feeling anxious about something that they've never done before. Yet we're always doing something new. We're going to have to feel that anxiety if we want to get anything done.Many people want to know how to you get past the emotional pain in their life. The answer is simple, but the work is not easy.Life is 50% pain and 50% pleasure.Life incorporates the 50/50 principle. 50% of our life is going to be a pleasure. It's gonna be great. Those emotions are gonna be wonderful. We're gonna be on top of the world. As we feel these emotions we are gonna be happy and fulfilled. The other 50% of the time we're going to be in some form of emotional pain. A lot of people don't like the fact that there is so much pain in their life So much so that they actually would rather try to bargain the ratio to be 80% happiness and 20% pain. Sadly that just shows how much we resist the thought of our life not going perfectly.No matter how much you resist, you're going to have pain. Then you add the fact that you're using more energy to resist that pain which only amplifies the pain. Also, you're doubling the experience because you worry about the pain. You can see how pain can be such a problem. If you don't know how to manage that emotional pain it can become tremendous. you also see why so many people become overwhelmed simply because they resist and avoid the pain in their lives.So how do you handle the painful portions of life?The way you handle and manage the painful portions of your life is that you allow the pain to be experienced. That sounds scary. I get it. However when you allow the pain to be felt and you're not resisting or avoiding it by buffering and feeling indulgent emotions. You realize that the pain that you're avoiding is just a vibration. Granted that vibration may not feel the best but you're not going to get swallowed by sorrow. You're not gonna drown in self-pity. You're just going to feel a slightly unpleasant vibration.Handling and processing emotions is a skill as with everything else that we do in life. But more so with emotions because so many of us are in emotional childhood. We believe emotions just hit us upside the head out of nowhere. That is a falsity because our thoughts create our emotions.The thought of how horrible the pain we might experience is the very reason why that pain is being avoided. Our worry and our fear are because of the thoughts we have about pain.With practice, we find processing our emotions to get easier each time, we realize what we are feeling. What we are feeling is just the result of a thought.Pain is what you make of itAs with everything that we avoid, the reason we avoid it is because of what we make that thought mean. We see sadness as nobody loves us. We see humiliation as potential death because we're going to get thrown out of our village. We see a choice as limiting our opportunities instead of expanding the possibilities.Everything we have happened to us, we take that personally. A sideways glance in our general direction could mean somebody is interested in us or somebody is disgusted with us. Which one is it? I don't know nor do you know. We just make an assumption.That sideways glance has as much power as the emotion that you're avoiding in your life Why do we avoid pain?The reason we avoid pain is the very reason why we avoid stepping out in front of a bus. It's not that we're afraid of sudden death. We're actually afraid that we're going to live and have to deal with all the pain because of that bus meeting our body.Our brain has a hard time differentiating between physical pain and emotional pain to our survival part of the brain. It's all the same thing if we do something that will get us ridiculed back when we were living in caves that might cause us to get kicked out of the cave. We might be exiled from our village if that happened. Would we be able to gather enough resources to survive? Back in prehistoric times, social approval was needed. We had to make sure we appeased the Chief. We didn't want to step too far out of the norms because we may be viewed incorrectly.Pain doesn't have to feel bad.As mentioned before pain is just the way that we classify some emotions emotions are just vibrations. They may be vibrations. We don't want to feel yet with a 50/50 lifestyle. We don't have the choice. We will have thoughts that create sadness, loneliness, disempowerment, and Self-pity, and we can only experience those emotionsThen you add to the layer that emotions vary on what we make them mean. Therefore you can actually make emotional pain, not be so painful if you choose. There are times when we want to be in pain. Sorrow and grief are two instances of us wanting to be in pain when our grandmother dies. We don't wanna be happy. You want to be sad. You want to grieve for the loss of your loved one. That is you showing love for someone who will not be in your life anymore. This is a very beautiful act that we humans are capable of doing.Therefore, being intentional with your emotions doesn't mean painful emotions are gonna be gone. It means that we choose to fully feel them at the time they happen. That means you can take a painful emotion and wear it as a badge of honor. You can do that all thanks to the thoughts that you have.How do you deal with emotional pain?So how do you deal with and process your emotions? These are emotions that are both good or bad. However, most of the time we need to just process the negative emotions the fear-based emotions, and the emotions that we avoid. So let's look into how you do thisYou start by acknowledging the emotion. he can't tackle the problem if you don't acknowledge that it's there and the way you acknowledge it is by naming it what is that emotion that you're feeling? What is that uneasy feeling in your chest, in your back, in your shoulders, across your midsection that feels like a steel clamp, what is that sensation right now? Name it happiness, sadness, uncertainty, fear, anger, regret, disempowerment, forlorning, lonely, burnout, boredom. What are you feeling as of right now?Describe itIf you could take that emotion out of your body and hold it in your hands, what would it look like? Is it heavy or light? Is it soft or hard? Is it spiky scaly or glass-smooth? Describe that emotion and as much detail as you can, is it hot? Is it cold? As you do this examination, you'll notice that the strength of the emotion starts to fade. This is the processing that we're talking about.Sadly, we often try to make problems bigger than what they really are. The problem with our emotions is the same way. We think they're too big for us to be able to handle and thoroughly process. However, when you start processing and examining the emotions that you feel, you notice that those big scary monsters are nothing more than teddy bears under a blanket.Now most emotions will only last about 1.5 -2 minutes. Yet there are times that you will just have a very stubborn emotion that you can just process away. may time these are bigger emotions that take time to process. These emotions require you to just experience them for the amount of time they are around. You may have to just go through a day or two with that emotion as you examine why you are feeling what you are feeling. This is where a counselor can come in handy especially when you are dealing with emotions that arise from past experiences. Coaches if you are trying to get over an obstacle you can move to the next goal you are aiming for.If you want help with this all you have to do is take the next step. If you would like to reclaim your bride and leave the mediocrity of roommate syndrome behind, then it is time to take the next step.Take The Next Step

If you would like to reclaim your bride and leave the mediocrity of roommate syndrome behind, then it is time to take the next step.Take The Next StepAny question leading to sex.Why We struggle with talking about sexIt requires you to be vulnerableWe take complaints personallyWe have biasesIsn't sex supposed to just happen and always be good?Or you can't have sex like that!Pushback is a threat to our beliefsWe make sex mean somethingWhy are these most intimate topics so difficult for us to talk about? Especially, when it is with the one person we are supposed to be able to openly and freely talk to.What is holding us back from asking about sex and talking openly?JudgedRejectionIt's not comfortable = EmbarrassingWe weren't taught to advocate for ourselvesShameWhat are the hardest questions to ask centered around sex?Some Questions you might want to ask?What did you learn about sex growing up and how did you learn?What would you like me to do?What do you not like for me to do?What do you wish I did more of?Where do you like to be touched, and where do you not like to be touched?When do you like to have sex?What allows you to feel the sexiest?What was your biggest surprise when you had sex?What was your biggest surprise when you had sex with me?Did you ever have an event that negatively impacted what you think of sex?The most challenging question isWould you like to have sex?SummaryThe episode focuses on the challenges men face in discussing sex and intimacy with their wives. The host, Bryan, acknowledges that sex is an important part of marriage for most men as a way to show love and feel loved by their spouse. However, many men struggle when their sex life declines or their wife no longer desires sex as frequently.Bryan outlines some of the main reasons why men have difficulty talking about sex:It requires being vulnerable, and men tend to take any criticism or complaints personally.People have biases and differing beliefs around certain sexual acts like oral sex, bondage, etc. which makes those topics awkward to discuss.There is shame and taboo around discussing sex from societal conditioning that sex is "dirty."Men were never taught to properly advocate for their wants/needs, especially something as intimate as sex.There is a fear of rejection, as men have likely been turned down for sex many times before in the relationship.The host suggests that rather than making assumptions or turning to pornography out of frustration, men need to have open conversations with their wives about sex. He provides example questions to help start the dialogue, such as asking about sexual experiences growing up, acts they would/wouldn't want to try, times of day they prefer sex, and if there are any past negative experiences impacting their sexuality.Ultimately, the most challenging part is simply asking "Would you like to have sex?" But Bryan encourages men to overcome the awkwardness and shame to advocate for their desire for intimacy and connection through sex. He offers his coaching services to help men improve their ability to discuss these topics with their wives. Take the Next Step and Get Coached - https://www.relaxedmale.com/coachingoffer

If you would like to reclaim your bride and leave the mediocrity of roommate syndrome behind, then it is time to take the next step.Take The Next StepSo we have noticed that the lack of intentionality with our significant other has to change. To be able to change you have to know how you arrived in the circumstance you are in now. That is what we are going to be talking about this week. What actions did we take to break our connection?***Warning***Don't fall into the victim mindset here. You may want to say,"Well, she doesn't try either.""She started it""She is just cold""She never liked the marriage to start"or any other excuses. even if she said that to your face, your thoughts are what makes it true. So what was your part in this scenario? When you start being honest that you had a hand in your marriage's doldrums too, you start to see where your power is and you can fix it by changing yourself. Think of the law of reciprocity or the 100/0 principle.You are the leader of the house. Not the boss of the home but the leader and there is nuance as to how a good leader leads.So what did you do to send your loving sex-filled marriage into the frustrating mediocrity of roommate syndrome?Being a know-it-allHas your wife ever reminded you of something you need to do and you said, "I know"? Maybe you step all over her talking with your own thoughts and views? Many times when we are running on unintentional thoughts we will be Mr. Know-it-all. We are in a hurry to get our thoughts sent out before we forget them and we end up forgetting that we want to connect with our wife. So What do we do? Blurt out our thoughts and not show her the courtesy or respect that is needed for a good connected conversation.We don't have to expound all of our knowledge all at once. Our wife believes we can be awesome and smart. She is also awesome and smart so maybe hold back and if needed write the retort down so you can remember it.Try to fix itShe doesn't want you to fix the problem. She wants the opportunity to share her life with you. When she complains about the day she had she's not wanting sympathy as much as she is wanting to share her life.The problem many of us men have is that we take our wife's retelling and make it mean something worse. That she is suffering she's in pain. She is not having a pleasant time and that it reflects badly upon us. Many of us men also have a tendency to become anxious, worried, scared, angry, or some other fear-based emotion That we want to avoid.so instead of listening and connecting with her wife, we want to rush in with our toolbelt and get our wife to be happier instantly. Life doesn't work that way how many times has our wife tried to get us to smile and cheer up and it doesn't work? The same thing goes for her.When we try to fix the problem often, our wife thinks that we don't care about what her day was about. We want to hurry the conversation along so that we don't have to connect with our wives. That is the very opposite of what we want. We want to connect with our wife. We want to have a wonderful relationship with our wife. We know that we have to have a good emotional connection with our wife, but we also don't wanna feel bad. Therefore, we toss all of the work we're doing out the window.Have your phone out at supperWe gripe at our teenagers for having the phone out at times. We really want to connect. These phones that we have today are these wondrous little machines that give us feel-good emotional bumps every second of the day.The big problem though is that when we don't have our phones in our hands, the amount of serotonin and dopamine levels drop which tells our brain that we are bored. Our brain does not like to be bored. It likes that stimulation that it gets from that little rectangular slab of plastic glass and metal. so often when we are being unintentional in our life that phone magically appears in our hand. So what are you do?How do you keep from having that phone out at supper? That's work right there. You have to get over your thoughts of what boredom actually means.To your wife, the phone being out means the same thing as the phone being out to the kids. She interprets you reading your email looking up some piece of trivia or what as you're not interested in her. The same goes around for your wife if she has the phone and you want to talk. You know how that feels so you have to start intentionally paying attention to what your hands are doing while you're waiting for a refill of the bread basket.You can start turning the phone off when you go to eat. You can also take the phone and set it face down on a different table to signify that you don't have the phone. And then start asking questions. Talk to your wife. Don't fix as before, but have deep conversations by asking questions.PornWhen it comes to marriage, we're supposed to have sex on a regular basis. Well, that's what we like to tell ourselves. Yet often as the years go on and kids come onto the scene lovemaking gets relegated to the back of the closet.we get told through the years of all the times our wife has a headache all the times her wife is too cold all the times her wife is too hot all the times she is angry at us all the times that she is got other things on her mind. All the times that she is just flat out not in the mood all those times we get told no add up.Eventually, we start looking at porn. Eventually, we will fall into a victim mindset around porn well I just wanna see someone have sex. I wanna know someone's at least doing it and we use that as an easy to get some type of sexual gratification. However, porn causes major disconnection to our marriage. it's easier to go to a porn site on the Internet than to have a connection with your wife. It's easier to look at fake women that it is to talk to the real woman who is in the bedroom down the hall.You'll hear people say that porn can be addicting. I won't say that, but it is a very easy habit to fall into because of the reward cycles that happen. You can get away from using porn. And you don't have to be ashamed of it. You can step away from the dirty movies. But again you have to have thoughts about how you're going to handle porn and how you're going to improve the sex life between you and your wife.Playing the victimIf you know anything about this site, you know, I am not for the victim. Playing the victim, aren't you no respect? It causes more suffering than it benefits and makes the victim look like an all-around loser.If you want to have a connection with your wife, pointing the blame that you're unhappy at her is going to fix the problem pointing the blame that you're unhappy to anybody else is not going to fix the problem. The only person who can fix the problem is the one who is complaining. Your wife wants a hero, not the victim loser who whines about how everything is not fair.To fix the problem you have to own up to your own shortcomings. You have to own your dirt. This is scary to a natural victim but becomes very empowering as you exercise your anti-victim mindset.Your wife will start seeing you hold your head a little higher as you take responsibility for your actions. You start taking responsibility for where you are in life. And you start changing your trajectory. Not believing what she saysConnection is built on a foundation of trust. And it is very tough to have trust when someone keeps telling you you're wrong. When the person who's supposed to have your back, doesn't believe what you're saying there's not gonna be much connection going on. When your wife is telling you something that happened in her day, interrupting her isn't going to fix the problem if she is talking about something that she sees from her eyes that you're doing telling her she's wrong doesn't help your case.A big part to remember is that she's going off of how she perceives what's going on. The same as your world is based upon how you perceive the world so instead of telling her she doesn't know what she's talking about when she says you never take the trash out, get curious this is when you really need to be curious in the heat of a of an argument ask the questions and start trying to see the world from her eyes.Doing that practicing the four pillars of effective communication actually allow for greater connection and a greater understanding of your wife for those times when she is seeing her world in a particular fashion.Being apatheticMany times in our marriage we won't have the same interest as what our spouse has. There isn't any enthusiasm and we could honestly care less about what Cynthia in sales is doing with her life. Yet to express that apathy to your wife is the same as just pulling out your phone at the dinner table. You have to show her you are interested. You have to show curiosity and how her day went. You can do this by asking questions actively listening also helps, but showing how apathetic you are severs connections, faster than a hot razor blade through butter. Letting date night slideIt's Friday night it's date night. But you really are not kind of feeling good about going out tonight. Rather just kinda stay home and just loaf instead of getting dressed up and taking the wife out. Or maybe kiddos been sick and then the wife got sick and so there's been two or three weeks of no date night. We'll do it next week now that is the crack of roommate syndrome starting.Be intentional with your date nights. Yes, they're gonna be times you're not in the mood to go out yet go out. It's the small investments in your relationship that pay out in spades.Do those little things that don't seem to matter. We're married. I don't need to date my wife anymore. That's where you're wrong. You need to date your wife even more after you're married than when y'all were single and dating.Being vagueMarriage is about the connection. And those connections require specificity. So being vague transmits a lack of interest and also a bit of secrecy. Are you hiding something from your wife? What is it?Women tend to bend to the worst possible outcome. When they start worrying, they get out of control at times. If they don't feel they can trust you they're going to pull away that pulling away is going to disconnect you from each other.Go into details when you're talking about today. This is what your wife wants to hear. When she wants you to open up, she wants you to open up with your day. She doesn't necessarily mean your emotions. She wants to know the details of your day. Stop being vague about what happened at work and start throwing those details at her.Manipulate her emotionsThis one is for the nice guys. I get it you are scared of your emotions. Whether you want to admit it or not, your wife's emotions are just as scary as your own. But let her have her emotions. You have your own and yes, they are not very comfortable at times. However, if you want a good connection with your wife, you have to let her experience her on emotions. When she's mad at you being OK with her being mad at you doesn't mean that the marriage is over. Just means that she is not happy with an action word that you said.We have to stop trying to manipulate our wife because her emotions matter to her she may not like them and she's gonna do things that cause her to avoid her own emotions, but let her cope with her emotions and you cope with yours.Don't talkWhen relationships really start to crumble, and roommates syndrome has got its claws dug deeply into a relationship. The big indicator is when you aren't talking with each other anymore.This lack of talking can stem from too many fights the avoidance of fighting the manipulation of each other‘s emotions The lack of communication is a desperate sign because both sides are pulling away and there is hope that the relationship can get better but it's going to take effort lots of intentional effort on your part. Being OK with trying something and failing and having to step back and Try again.Not intentionally spending time with each otherMany times us getting together requires that you actually have to schedule time. Sounds weird sounds so unromantic but yet when y'all were dating, you scheduled date night. He scheduled other parts of your life. So scheduling reconnection time is also critically important for you and your wife.This can also go for scheduling sex. Now, many people cringe at that thinking that sex should be this spontaneous event that erupts yet ask yourself why has the sex died down? 90% of the time it's because other things have come up y'all gotten busy you hadn't connected. Life happens.Being in emotional childhoodWe talk about people being reactionary and being somebody who reacts to circumstances and an emotional way and often runs around, believing that emotions just happened to them. They believe that emotions just float through the air and you somehow just run face-first into them.This is emotional childhood. When you think emotions just happen to you without any cause. You are unbearably just a victim of your own emotions. When you are in emotional childhood, that's what you're thinking. Emotions don't just happen to you. Emotions require thought to happen before you can feel any type of emotion. When you comprehend the fact that your emotions come from you you enter an emotional adult and you are able to understand why you feel happy sad or whatever.When you are in an emotional childhood though you want to think that your wife makes you happy or your wife makes you sad. If your wife is in emotional childhood, she thinks you're supposed to make her happy and that is impossible. You have no power to make your wife happy, you can show her Waze that you love her and she then has the choice to believe that thought you shared or rejected out of hand. This is why so many marriages fail these days they think their spouse is supposed to make them happy yet their spouse isn't even happy if they can't figure out how to make themselves happy how are they supposed to make you happy?Overly criticalDogging on your wife, your wife's friends or anybody else who is close to your spouse is a good way of breaking up a connection. Because if you're critical of those around her, how critical are you of her? You both are supposed to know everything about each other so if you're critical about your wife's friend, that's probably going to tell you that she's been having thoughts that you're overly critical of her.Being critical of other people causes them to close off from you. Why do they want to open up to somebody who's just going to be very critical of what they think of what the hell they act of what they do? Using her as your therapistAnother way, you separate the emotional connection you want from your wife is by using her as your therapist. No, you're not supposed to use your wife as an emotional dumping ground. That's one thing a lot of counselors get wrong. That you're supposed to open up emotionally to your wife. You're supposed to tell her all your fears and your concerns and the times that you're anxious and everything else that's farthest from the truth. Women want to know about your day they want the details of your day. They want to know how your day went in gritty minutia. The more they see you caring, you show them that you want to include them in your day.They don't want emotional vomit thrown upon them. When you are dumping all your emotional baggage upon your wife, you're not helping build a connection you're tiring her out she's supposed to be able to come to you to dump her emotional baggage. You're the man you're strong enough to handle it. you're also supposed to have other men around you so that they can help you with that load your band of Brothers your community is where you do your emotional unloading and the other man in your group will help you do that in a healthy manner not just stand around going well I feel really anxious today doesn't help you become a better husband for your wife telling her how scared you are of every little thing around you And how your dad was not caring of you doesn't help her. See you as a better man. Talk to your band Brothers about the emotional stuff. Take your wife's emotional baggage from her and share it with your men. They will bring positive masculine energy to you to be able to share with your wife and kids.

After 10 to 20 years of marriage, you may notice that the roommate syndrome has crept in and has set up Shop right in your bedroom. You may be noticing that there are a lot of things that are just kind of normal. Maybe you think that's how things just are. However, this stuff can change. The connection that you are used to hasn't gone it's just not being used. Your emotional connections are a lot like a muscle and you have to exercise it to keep it strong.When we have that strong connection in our relationships, we experience a more fulfilling relationship. That connection is what our wife needs to be intimate with us. We often stand around, wondering why she doesn't want to sleep with us anymore or why the sex has faded away to being once every three months when it used to be we were rocking our socks off every other day. The answer is, that we've let life happen. We've had arguments and we've said things that hurt each other's feelings. We've lashed out because we were hurting emotionally. It means that we would rather feel emotionally safe and not feel hurt as much. Therefore, we withdraw.That withdrawal pattern amplifies in distance as the years pass. Add kids and other responsibilities and eventually that smoking hot bride that we had isn't putting on teddys and garter belts for us anymore. She is now in fuzzy pajama pants, a long nightgown sweatshirt with fuzzy socks. You can't remember the last time she touched her makeup and getting her to go outside amongst people in public is like pulling teeth. When you look back you see and remember how adventurous she used to be. That lack of connection and that lack of communication is what created the problem you're experiencing now.Is there any hope? Should you just give up on this marriage and go find a younger model? I would dissuade from the divorce thoughts because you have years of connection. You need to have a reawakening to see that wonderful, beautiful, fulfilling marriage you both still have. The Key is you just have to work at rebuilding that connection now.Start with the end in mindWhen it comes to building a strong connection, you want to start with the end in mind. That means stepping back and examining what does a connected intimate marriage actually look like. Yes, it's gonna have more sex for sure but what else? Are you ok with the possibility that the sex may never come back to what it was before? What does that look like? How do y'all reconnect each night before bed? How do you set aside intentional time for your wife? How do you foster a deeper connection during the hard times? What does your life with a deep meaningful fulfilling connection look like to you? That is the important part that we miss. How do we go about having a great fulfilling marriage? These are all questions you want to ask regularly.Many times we step through life without intention so much so that we don't even think of what we want our marriage to look like or how we want to act toward each other. We think that the other person is supposed to be bringing us joy, happiness, and fulfillment, but that is not the case. Your wife sadly cannot bring you happiness. Your wife cannot make you happy in any form. She doesn't have that power. The same goes for you. You are not able to make your wife happy. No matter what you say or do, you're not gonna bring joy or fulfillment to her life. All of that is based upon your thoughts, so you have to first understand and examine and do the thought work on what you believe a good healthy marriage is about.How do you think You behave when there's a crisis how do you show up to that circumstance? Look in examine how you want your life to be from every possible angle and then look and see where you don't show up like that and why do you not show up like that? What are you making your wife saying she's got a headache mean about your relationship? you want to make sure you have those thoughts processed. Make plans as to how you would like to show up for your wife. Have a vision of how you will be. Don't worry about your wife. You have no control over her.Understand your why and want to change.What is it about your marriage that is unfulfilling? That's a great question to ask, isn't it? Can you answer that question honestly to yourself? What part of that scenario is your fault? That's a big one if you're able to answer that. You're gonna be well on your way to finding answers and being able to change your marriage for the better, if you can see how you had a hand in creating this roommate syndrome.The next part of your marriage that you want to examine is why you want to change. Yeah, the sex may not be as frequent as you would like, but that is just one aspect of a beautiful marriage. If all you can complain about is that you're not getting as much nookie as you want, then other issues and that is a little bit more work. I would recommend that you look at your beliefs around marriage and sex.Look at your "why" and examine that "why". Come to understand the reasons around why you want to better your marriage. That "why" is going to be your motivation. You are going to have rough spots as you make changes in your life. When it's not going the way you wanted it to go you will need to turn to your "why". You've told your spouse that you're gonna make changes in the past. You probably have told her that you were going to do any number of things that have never actually happened. This is because if you want her to change, you gotta show her how dedicated you are to that change. That dedication may take years. It's not gonna be one week down the road for darn sure. So you have to lean on your "why". Why do you want a better marriage? Why do you want stronger connections and stronger communication with your wife? When you have that "why" you'll be able to press through those difficult times. Other people just give up and revert back to their old comfortable ways, but not. you because you know why you want a better marriage.When you have a why you can step into having a better relationship with your wife. You can do so with full knowledge and intention as to the direction you're going to take your life and your family.How are you going to intentionally improve your marriage?Answer that question as honestly as you possibly can. That's because it's gonna take all of your intentionality to improve the connection in your marriage. It's going to take intentionally going to your wife sitting down and talking with her regularly. It's gonna take you intentionally sharing your day with her no matter how dull and boring you think it is.When you start becoming intentional in your actions you're going to get better results. Are you going to still screw up? Oh hell yes, you are. You're gonna mess up more times than you get right. As long as you are trying and you're moving forward, and you're examining what you've done with intention, you will see where you've messed up. Those problems will be easier to spot and change. You will make your life and your wife's life better.Layout your plansWe like to think that we can play things by ear. We can adjust. We have more freedom when we can make changes on the fly. Making plans and examining those plans change the results a lot more than just playing it by ear. Executing those plans is your road to success. If you don't know where you're going, are you going to get there? If you don't know where you wanna wind up how are you even know if you're close? You have to make plans with your wife.Every Saturday at 8 o'clock, I'm going to have a conversation with my wife.Every evening at 6 o'clock me and the wife are going to go for a walk.Every Tuesday and Thursday I'm going to wash the dishes.I am going to buy flowers on Friday For my bride.List out what you want to accomplish. Then stick to those almost as religiously as you can. Yeah, there's gonna be times that the's kid's have an event is on Friday so you may not be able to go out for steak night. However, if every Friday night is date night, then you pretty much will nail every Friday night as being steak night.Treat those date nights seriously. Maybe Saturday nights are your date nights now. Therefore, you start intentionally getting dressed up. Go two levels better than what you normally dress. Put on some cologne. Add some deodorant. Wash the undercarriage and go out into town with your wife and don't expect anything in return for the adventure. If you're expecting something in return that's called manipulation and you're breaking the connection even more.Work on yourself, not on your wife.The biggest part of improving your connection with her wife is to not try to fix her. If you think the problem is her, then you need to step back and examine your part of the scenario. She is withdrawn. She's not putting out she's not wanting to open up, my response would be what did you do to that. I get this is a difficult question to ask because we don't want to say our Rose our fault but they are. Now could it be that we have been trying everything and our wife has had an affair? Yeah, there is a chance that that's happened, but there is a bigger chance that she lost the emotional connection thanks to roommate syndrome and she just happened to find a guy who fit the Bill who makes her feel alive again. So you have to face up to the very uncomfortable fact that it's not 100% your fault, but you did play a part in perpetuating the breakdown of that connection. This statement isn't a means to bring upon self-hatred in any way, but when you can be honest with yourself, you're going to be more willing to make the needed changes and put in the needed effort to fix what is broken in your marriage.That doesn't mean you start using your wife as a therapist either. That's what your band of Brothers is about. You see our wives are not supposed to be our therapists. Our wives are not wanting us to open up emotionally. They do not want us to vomit our emotional feelings all over them. They want to be able to pass their negative experiences and their negative emotions over to you so that you can turn them into positive emotions again. They can't do that when you're throwing all of your negative experiences at them.The secret to what women want from us is the one thing that guys don't enough of and that is talk about the minuscule minute boring details of our day. When they want us to open up, that's what they're talking about. You opening up your life events to them. That's why we struggle as men. We struggle as hard as we do. Because we're opening up in the wrong way. Women want to be involved in our lives. Step back and look at how your wife talks to her friends. They go into detail about their day what they're feeling what they're seeing. What they experiencing. Look at the same scenario that they're describing. There is this mountain that's got three really big large jagged cracks that go down the length of the mountain and it's just so majestic when the sun hits it at a particular time of the day and it turns into a bright, fiery orange colored glow. While we just say we saw a big mountain and it was cool to see. These are big differences that help them feel involved in your life. That is what they mean when they say they want you to open up.Work on your four pillars of Relaxed MaleThink back, to when you and your wife first married. You were young you had dreams and ideas and passions that you were going to conquer the world. What changed between then and now? That Dr. that passion doesn't burn nearly as hot as it used to if it's burning at all if it's even smoldering, how big is your friend now? Maybe one good friend maybe one guy you call a friend but you're not sure. How are you improving your life? Are you still in this great shape now, as you were 20 years ago? These are all things that attracted to us. So why do you think our wife is not attracted to us now?Man's mindYour mind is the most important tool that you have. It's what is needed for you to have a fulfilling relationship with your wife. It is also what you need to be a good dad for your kids. Your mind is tied to you. Yeah, so many of us men choose to not Exercise our minds at all. We would rather zone out on television games or anything else than continue to feed our minds. Men as soon as they graduate from high school cut their reading amount in half and then they continue to decrease as they go further in their education and college to where they cut down to almost 90% of the reading by the time they are out of school, we become smarter from the knowledge we receive in books, podcasts, lectures, and conferences. And yes, some of these cost money but others are free.Most men learn the most from books. Knowledge has been passed down from generation to generation because of books. Yeah, ask people why they don't read all I fall asleep if I start reading well yeah you will. If you tell yourself that enough do not fall asleep, watching television or watching a movie? Because the movie is shorter that can be some of it yeah but when you are reading, you can take that as a point of pride.The interesting part about reading though is that you actually don't need a book anymore or better term you don't have to actually read the book anymore. You can have other people read the book to you. So you can grab the knowledge for whatever topic interests you. And consume it while you're mowing the lawn why are you doing dishes folding towels or whatever another means of being able to learn some more is through podcasts like the one you're listening to Other podcasts can help you in several fields that you like to know about. Some conferences are on topics that also write up your interest.Becoming smarter, expanding your knowledge, and challenging your mind so that you don't become fixed on just one style of thought. You will fall behind if you don't keep your learning up you can't find new ways to have stronger connections with your wife unless you have new knowledge you can share with her. Work on The Man's Mind Pillar and see how much of your world opens up.Man's BodyThere's a good chance that when you were 25 you're in a lot better shape than you now as 35, 45, or even 55 years old. Now this can be because of a decrease in testosterone that we get as we age. It could also just be that our work has us sitting for 12 hours each day, and many times we don't change our eating habits that we used to have when we were young dumb kids. This has gotten us into trouble because we have to be able to show our wives that we can protect them and we cant if we are out of shape. Many of us when we walk up a flight of five steps, and by the time we get there, we're huffing and puffing through our mouths. How are we going to protect our loved ones when it comes to hand-to-hand combat?We show our wife that we care about her and that we're willing to stay around for the long haul when we have to have a healthy life. Now it doesn't mean you have to go vegan. No, it doesn't mean you have to go strictly carnivore, either. It means practicing moderation. Eat the right amount of meat. Eat the right amount of fruits and vegetables. Eat the right amount of grains. Drink plenty of water. Better if you abstain from smoking and drink alcohol in moderation too. You will live a healthier life if you are practicing moderation in every aspect.If you don't, then you wind up developing diabetes and you can't stand on your own 2 feet when you've had one amputated so you have to take care of your body. so that you can't take care of your wife and kids. You have to always work on the Man's Body Pillar for the benefit of those you care about.Man's SoulWhat gets you out of bed in the morning? Is there something in your life that you cannot see yourself not doing?You see we men need purpose. We need a sense of direction. These are the driving factors of what keep men, young, healthy, and vibrant. Men who work and take immense pride in what they do. Yet these same men shrivel up and pass away once they lose that sense of identity. Men live longer, healthier, happier, more fulfilled lives, when they have a wife, somebody they can protect and care for and nurture. Yet if a man lives longer than his wife. He will often end up passing within five years of her dying, because those men had their purpose. That man had his "why" and as soon as that "why" was taken from him there was no need to keep going on.What is your sense of purpose? What is it that you like to do that you cannot stand to have anybody else getting your way of doing that? If you have one of those burning desires, that light will shine in attract other people to you that will shine and attract your wife to be closer to you, if you don't have that why you become just a warm body with little to no life in them. So what is your purpose? If you don't know then that could very well be your purpose at the moment. FInd your purpose.To draw people, like your wife, into your world having your soul shine as bright as possible means you want to feed your soul and that is what the man's soul pillar does.Man's communityQuite possibly the most important pillar of a man's life is a man's community pillar. How many friends do you have that you can turn to on a moment's notice? How many of those friends do you see on a daily and weekly basis? How many of these men do you know beyond being just a good friend?Men need other men in their lives. To be able to refresh their masculinity they need other masculine men in their lives. Look at the men who you know that congregate at coffee shops, the old Dairy Queen, and the coffee cup cafés. These old men are often farmers, and meet regularly day in and day out. It may not seem like they're talking about much other than the normal humdrum run of the day. Yet, what they're doing for each other is ensuring that they bring home the masculine energy to their family. That masculine energy is positive and uplifting. It is caring, that men become frazzled beaten, and alone. Even if we do have a wife and kids, we cannot go without having other men in our lives.Get honestly curiousOne of the greatest ways that you can help build a connection with your wife doesn't involve long soliloquies about how she means the world to you. It doesn't require you to stand up and profess your undying love for her. It involves lowly questions. That's all. Ask simple questions about what your wife is saying.Asking questions does two things, one it shows your wife that you're paying attention. We all like to know that the person we're talking to is actually paying attention to us. The best way to do that is to ask questions about what they are saying. Yes, this does mean we have to pay attention to what our wife is talking about. I will agree that sometimes she throws in a lot of details about stuff that we could care less about. However, if we want our wives to understand that we do care for her, those details are important to her. That is how she communicates by talking about the little details that happened in her day about the weird radioactive green candy wrapper that was stuck to the bottom of her shoe or talking about the person who was trying to put on their makeup in their car that almost ran her over, the makeup that she was using doesn't match her complexion.When your wife talks about particular problems, get details from her about it. Pay attention to what details she gives you. It shows you what's important to her and helps you to come to understand your wife even more. Understanding and those questions will help bridge that connection together to be tighter, stronger, and more resilient than any other exercise you can doListen don't fixNow, guys, we are guilty of this, especially the nice guys. The nice guys can't stand when our wife is feeling any emotion that causes us to feel uneasy. So if she's upset, we're gonna try to find ways to get her to stop being upset not because of her being upset, but because we don't like the anxiety and the uncertainty that we feel because she is upset.When we jump in awe and try to fix the problem, we're not fixing the problem. We're manipulating the circumstances. We're manipulating her emotions were manipulating not helping so you have to be good with your own emotions. Except that you're going to feel uneasy, sad, anxious, angry or whatever it is that you feel. You may feel powerless, and you have to be OK with it. So that you can help your wife by listening.That is the key to not fixing your wife. She just wants to be heard. She wants to hear what is happening in your life and she wants to have equal opportunity to share her life with you, when she feels like she has a good connection with you, her clothes will have a higher possibility of falling off for you. The sex comes from the fact that she can trust you emotionally. When she knows that her emotions are not going to cause you to tailspin into Mr. Fix-It mode, she will be happier to share her emotions with you. The more her emotions are shared with you the safer she feels with you. The safer she feels with you the more chances we get the intimacy that we want in our marriage.Take actionFinally, after you've made your plans and you've decided what actions you want to take then it's time for the hard part. This is the taking action you wanted. You wanna walk with your wife every day at 6 PM well be OK with missing the football game if it happens to be running at 6 PM, and be OK with missing the evening news. If you want to walk with your wife at 6 PM don't try to compromise with yourself on anything other than what the action is. When you do that you fall out of integrity with your own self. Then that lack of integrity shows up in other parts of your life. Above all else to self be true and you have to be true to yourself. Are you truly OK with your wife being upset? If you want her to be emotionally trusting of you then yes you have to be OK with her being upset not rushing to fix the problem if you want her to be able to share her life with you, you have to share your life with her. You have to study. Good communication skills. If you don't think you have good communication skills that's where you incorporate the man's mind pillar, you're showing her that you are getting better and that you're making an effort if you're trying the more that you do the more of a connection you develop the more connection the better marriage. Take The Next Step- https://www.relaxedmale.com/coachingoffer

As instructional coaches, we often wonder if our schools are moving in the right direction and how we can get students more engaged in their learning. In this episode, I'm talking to Bryan Goodwin about his book, The New Classroom Instruction that Works. He shares strategies and ideas that coaches can use to support instruction in the classroom. Bryan explains his six-phase model of learning and gives us his favorite practices for sparking cognitive engagement. You'll get ideas for how instructional coaches can support schools embracing new strategies and how to transform instruction on your campus. Listen now! -Chrissy Beltran   Buzzing with Ms. B Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/buzzingwithmsb/   Buzzing with Ms. B TpT - https://www.teacherspayteachers.com/Store/Chrissy-Beltran-Buzzing-With-Ms-B   Join The Confident Literacy Coach Waitlist and get a 15% off code to use when it opens in May 2024! - http://ConfidentLiteracyCoach.com/   The Coaching Podcast Show Notes - https://buzzingwithmsb.com/Episode185 Thank you for listening to Buzzing with Ms. B: The Coaching Podcast. If you love the show, share it with a coach who would love it too, subscribe to this podcast, or leave me a review on iTunes! It's free and it helps others find this show, too. Happy coaching! Podcast produced by Fernie Ceniceros

"I think the whole idea, and what I get excited about is that the more we can design learning to reflect how kids' brains work, and the more we can use teaching strategies that really accelerate their learning, the easier it is for them, the more joyful it is for them, and also for us. In the end, I feel all this is adding up to joyful learning experiences for kids and for teachers. We all want to be great teachers, right? We all want to see the light bulbs go on for kids, And, I think this is, ultimately, all about those joyful learning experiences." - Bryan GoodwinIn this episode of Coaching Conversations, our special guest is Bryan Goodwin, President and CEO of McREL International, a nonprofit organization that provides in-depth professional learning and school improvement services to school systems worldwide to help educators use the science of teaching, learning, and leading to lift all learners.Learn about the approach in developing the rigorous research base for the third edition of Bryan's book The New Classroom Instruction That Works and how this new methodology yielded an updated set of 14 high leverage teaching strategies that have been shown, scientifically, to promote deep, meaningful, and lasting learning for diverse students.In this conversation, Bryan shares details about the six phases of learning and the cognitive science behind each.Become interested.Commit to learning.Focus on new learning.Make sense of learning.Practice and reflect.Extend and apply.Interested in learning how our consultants can make an impact on your School, District, or Program? Click hereLearn how to join our Institute by clicking here 

The Correlation of the withdrawal of dads and The Lack of masculinity In the US, divorce rates more than doubled from 2.2 per 1,000 in 1960 to over 5 per 1,000 in the 1980s.  Marriages are decreasing Lack of dads and the increase of anxiety-ridden children Great Society - 1964 The government started taking the place of Fathers in the household and the marriage rates started to decrease in the 80's around 20 years for the new generation to start having kids. Dad's the Disciplinarian Dads the Mentor Dad baggage   links https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/322877#Is-anxiety-increasing-in-the-U.S.? For instance, a meta-analysis published in 2010 took data from studies that included over 77,000 young people; the scientists found generational increases in mental health issues in 1938–2007. https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/hestat/marriage_rate_2018/marriage_rate_2018.htm Increase anxiety and depression     Summary In this episode of The Relaxed Male, the host, Bryan Goodwin, discusses the crucial role that dads play in their children's mental well-being. He addresses the issue of dads being overlooked in the parenting process and the favoring of mothers in the court system. While recognizing the importance of moms, Brian emphasizes the need for dads to be actively present in their children's lives. Brian challenges common arguments against father involvement and highlights the benefits of having both parents actively participate in raising a child. He also delves into the historical context, discussing how social welfare programs have impacted marriage rates and subsequently led to a decline in mental health. The main speaker then shifts the focus to concerns about the mental well-being of younger generations, particularly millennials and Gen Z. They reference an article from Business Insider that raises alarm about Gen Zers bringing their parents to job interviews, suggesting a lack of independence and fortitude among this generation. Bryan argues that society lacks involved fathers, not just married men, but fathers who feel excluded or unwanted by women. They assert that this lack of father involvement contributes to the increase in mental health problems. While acknowledging that women can raise good kids without a dad, they emphasize the importance of having a father figure in a child's life. The roles of a father as a disciplinarian and provider of roughhousing play are highlighted as crucial for teaching restraint and discipline. Bryan criticizes the degradation of the role of dads in society, attributing it to the rise of toxic masculinity as a concept. They assert that toxic masculinity is not synonymous with masculinity itself but rather the absence of proper masculinity. The speaker believes that boys require male role models to learn what it truly means to be masculine. Addressing the issue of homelessness, Bryan argues that the absence of fathers in homes contributes to the problem. They suggest that living outside the city can be a more affordable option despite additional commuting costs. The speaker contends that homelessness has become comfortable for some individuals due to society's sympathies, emphasizing the need for discipline and mentorship from fathers. The importance of mentorship is further emphasized, as Bryan suggests that fathers should transition into becoming mentors for their children from the age of 13. Concern is expressed over the increasing number of girls identifying as boys and vice versa, with the speaker emphasizing the unique challenges faced by individuals of both genders. In the podcast, Bryan also discusses how kids are becoming more susceptible to manipulation and coercion, resulting in irreversible harm. They highlight the importance of waking up to these issues and taking action to protect children from the woke agenda. Taking funds away from schools is presented as an effective way to change teaching approaches, and the failed voucher program in Oklahoma is mentioned as an example. Bryan encourages dads to fight for their children and make sacrifices to be closer to them. They challenge the idea of being just an employee and suggest taking on bigger projects to generate income. The speaker offers a coaching package to help dads be better men and mentors for their children, with limited availability and a discounted price mentioned. The podcast concludes with Bryan providing contact information and encouraging listeners to reach out for assistance if needed. 00:00:00 The Importance of Dads for Kids' Mental Health 00:01:44 The Role of Dads and Moms in Raising Children 00:04:15 Dad's Role in Mentally Healthy Kids 00:11:35 Roughhousing and Disciplinarians: The Role of Fathers 00:13:20 The Decline of Fatherhood since the 1960s 00:14:47 Homelessness, Choices, and Mentorship 00:21:42 The Importance of Dads in Schools 00:23:42 Taking Control of Your Life and Being There for Your Kids 00:25:11 Mentoring Children for Success and Confidence

Why can't you find a high-valued woman? The answer is in you. Your results are from your thoughts. How much do you value yourself? Your personal values will reflect in the quality, if your view of yourself is low you are not going to have quality returns on your endeavors. No matter what they are. To receive value you have to produce value. All of life is a transition. The women will not be of the quality you desire because they are only attracted to men who are of high value. Ayn Rand expresses this wonderfully in her book Atlas Shrugged. Actually, there are 2 Speeched that Fransisco D'anconia gives that play off of each other and they are both when he is talking to another character in the story named Hank Reardon. The one I wanted to share the most was the sex speech. “Do you remember what I said about money and about the men who seek to reverse the law of cause and effect? The men who try to replace the mind by seizing the products of the mind? Well, the man who despises himself tries to gain self- esteem from sexual adventures–which can't be done, because sex is not the cause, but an effect and an expression of a man's sense of his own value.” “You'd better explain that.” “Did it ever occur to you that it's the same issue? The men who think that wealth comes from the material resources and has no intellectual root or meaning, are the men who think–for the same reason–that sex is a physical capacity which functions independently of ones mind, choice or code of values. They think that your body creates a desire and makes a choice for you just about in some such way as if iron ore transformed itself into railroad rails of its own volition. Love is blind, they say; sex is impervious to reason and mocks the power of all philosophers. But, in fact, a man's sexual choice is the result and the sum of his fundamental convictions. Tell me what a man finds sexually attractive and I will tell you his entire philosophy on life. Show me the woman he sleeps with and I will tell you his valuation of himself. No matter what corruption he's taught about the virtue of selflessness, sex is the most profoundly selfish of all acts, an act which he cannot perform for any motive but his own enjoyment–just try to think of performing it in a spirit of selfless charity!–an act which is not possible in self-abasement, only in self-exaltation, only in confidence of being desired and being worthy of desire. It is an act that forces him to stand naked in spirit, as well as in body, and to accept his real ego as his standard of value. He will always be attracted to the woman who reflects his deepest vision of himself, the woman whose surrender permits him to experience–or to fake–a sense of self-esteem. The man who is proudly certain of his own value, will want the highest type of woman he can find, the woman he admires, the strongest, the hardest to conquer — because only the possession of a heroine will give him the sense of an achievement, not the possession of a brainless slut. He does not seek to . . . what's the matter?” he asked, seeing the look on Rearden's face, a look of intensity much beyond mere interest in an abstract discussion. “Go on,” said Rearden tensely. “He does not seek to gain his value, he seeks to express it. There is no conflict between the standards of his mind and the desires of his body. But the man who is convinced of his own worthlessness will be drawn to a woman he despises–because she will reflect his own secret self, she will release him from that objective reality in which he is a fraud, she will give him a momentary illusion of his own value and a momentary escape from the moral code that damns him. Observe the ugly mess which most men make of their sex lives–and observe the mess of contradictions which they hold as their moral philosophy. One proceeds from the other. Love is our response to our highest values–and can be nothing else. Let a man corrupt his values and his view of existence, let him profess that love is not self-enjoyment but self-denial, that virtue consists, not of pride, but of pity or pain or weakness or sacrifice, that the noblest love is born, not of admiration, but of charity, not in response to values, but in response to flaws–and he will have cut himself in two. His body will not obey him, it will not respond, it will make him impotent toward the woman he professes to love and draw him to the lowest type of whore he can find. His body will always follow the ultimate logic of his deepest convictions; if he believes that flaws are values, he has damned existence as evil and only the evil will attract him. He has damned himself and he will feel that depravity is all he is worthy of enjoying. He has equated virtue with pain and he will feel that vice is the only realm of pleasure. Then he will scream that his body has vicious desires of its own which his mind cannot conquer, that sex is sin, that true love is a pure emotion of the spirit. And then he will wonder why love brings him nothing but boredom, and sex–nothing but shame.” Rearden said slowly, looking off, not realizing that he was thinking aloud, “At least . . . I've never accepted that other tenet . . . I've never felt guilty about making money.” Francisco missed the significance of the first two words; he smiled and said eagerly, “You do see that it's the same issue? No, you'd never accept any part of their vicious creed. You wouldn't be able to force it upon yourself. If you tried to damn sex as evil, you'd still find yourself, against your will, acting on the proper moral premise. You'd be attracted to the highest woman you met. You'd always want a heroine. You'd be incapable of self-contempt. You'd be unable to believe that existence is evil and that you're a helpless creature caught in an impossible universe. You're the man who's spent his life shaping matter to the purpose of his mind. You're the man who would know that just as an idea unexpressed in physical action is contemptible hypocrisy, so is platonic love–and just as physical action unguided by an idea is a fool's self-fraud, so is sex when cut off from one's code of values. Its' the same issue, and you would know it. Your inviolate sense of self-esteem would know it. You would be incapable of desire for a woman you despised. Only the man who extols the purity of a love devoid of desire, is capable of the depravity of a desire devoid of love. But observe that most people are creatures cut in half who keep swinging desperately to one side or to the other. One kind of half is the man who despises money, factories, skyscrapers and his own body. He holds undefined emotions about non-conceivable subjects as the meaning of life and his claim of virtue. And he cries with despair, because he can feel nothing for the woman he respects, but finds himself in bondage to an irresistible passion for a slut from the gutter. He is the man whom people call an idealist. The other kind of half is the man whom people call practical, the man who despises principles, abstractions, art, philosophy and his own mind. He regards the acquisition of material objects as the only goal of existence– and he laughs at the need to consider their purpose or their source. He expects them to give him pleasure– and he wonders why the more he gets, the less he feels. He is the man who spends his time chasing women. Observe the triple fraud which he perpetrates upon himself. He will not acknowledge his need of self-esteem, since he scoffs at such a concept as moral values; yet he feels the profound self-contempt which comes from believing that he is a piece of meat. He will not acknowledge, but he knows that sex is the physical expression of a tribute to personal values. So he tries, by going through the motions of the effect, to acquire that which should have been the cause. He tries to gain a sense of his own value from the women who surrender to him– and he forgets that the women he picks have neither character nor judgment nor standard of value. He tells himself that all he's after is physical pleasure– but observe that he tires of his woman in a week or a night, that he despises professional whores and that he loves to imagine he is seducing virtuous girls who make a great exception for his sake. It is the feeling of achievement that he seeks and never finds. What glory can there be in the conquest of a mindless body? Now that is your woman chaser. Does the description fit me Atlas Shrugged - Ayn Rand What is a high-value woman? A Woman with a very low to no body count A Woman who sees the value of a woman and isn't out to try to be a man Has a secure attachment style Has worked through her daddy issues (See Body count) Isn't dragging around kids from different men (see body count) Puts her heart into all that she tries Is up for the adventure her man is going to take her on will confidently push her man to be better and will accept her man pushing her to do the same. Willing to work as a team with her man Doesn't use the term partner but husband Whether you are just divorced, not married, or married. You can up your value. Work on the 4 pillars as a start. Build your mind Build your body Feed Your Soul Grow your Community Sign up for a Consulting Call   This episode of The Relaxed Male, hosted by Bryan Goodwin, explores the topic of finding the right high-value woman. Bryan emphasizes that seeking a high-value partner is not derogatory, but rather a way to avoid low-quality relationships. He urges men to reflect on their own actions and take responsibility for their inability to find a high-value woman. Bryan shares personal experiences that led him to become a coach and help men navigate relationship challenges. He highlights the importance of seeing oneself as a high-value individual in order to attract high-value partners. In another part of the conversation, Bryan discusses Ayn Rand's book "Atlas Shrugged" and its impact on understanding the value individuals bring to society. He focuses on Francisco D'Anconia's speech on money at an anniversary party and its significance in highlighting the origin of money, the role of trade, and how it represents a person's effort and value. Bryan discusses the corrupting nature of money when sought for selfish gain and emphasizes that money should be obtained through work and productivity, reflecting one's character and values. He highlights the correlation between a person's values and their sexual choices, asserting that one's sexual preferences are a reflection of their fundamental convictions and philosophy in life. The conversation also delves into the concept of money and its connection to human morality. Bryan emphasizes that money should be seen as a means to create wealth and dismisses the guilt and shame often associated with prosperity. He emphasizes the importance of understanding that wealth has to be created and denounces those who denounce the idea of making money. Bryan also discusses the selfish nature of sex and its impact on a person's sense of worth, emphasizing that sex requires self-esteem and confidence. He argues that corrupting one's values leads to a distorted view of love and sex and advocates for embracing one's values and acknowledging the role of physical expression in relationships. Additionally, Bryan discusses the qualities that make a woman high-value, such as having a low or no body count, embracing femininity, having a secure attachment style, and working through any daddy issues. He emphasizes the need to value and respect partners, work as a team, and support each other's growth in relationships. Bryan also discusses the importance of expanding one's circle of friends, investing in personal development, and nourishing one's soul to increase individual value and attract higher-value partners. He encourages listeners to introduce others to their community and offers coaching sessions to help individuals recognize their worth and gain confidence. The episode concludes with a call to share the show with others, subscribe, and follow on preferred podcast platforms. Bryan expresses gratitude for the listeners' support and looks forward to continuing the conversation in future episodes. 00:00:01 Introduction to The Relaxed Male - Helping Men Embrace Authenticity 00:00:23 Introducing The Relaxed Male and the purpose of the show 00:03:22 Self-reflection on why one can't find a high-quality woman 00:06:07 Shifting mindset and perception of self-value 00:08:34 Reading and discussing Francisco D'Anconia's speech on money 00:11:19 The Connection Between Money, Wealth, and Intelligence 00:14:01 Money's Role in Providing Means and Satisfaction 00:16:17 Money as a Means of Survival and the Verdict on Livelihood 00:18:39 The Hatred and Love of Money and its Virtuous Nature 00:20:55 Corruption and the Decline of Society 00:32:44 Damned to Depravity: Equating Virtue with Pain 00:37:36 High Value Men and High-Value Women 00:41:26 The Role of Sex in Relationships 00:45:24 Building a Strong Relationship and Increasing Personal Value 00:50:36 Growing your community and increasing your value

Listen in today as I sit down with Bryan Goodwin, President and CEO of McREL International, and an experienced educator, to explore the intersection of science, art, and the joy found in teaching. We dive into the phases of learning, discussing how curiosity is the key to engaging students, followed by commitment, focus, consolidation, practice, reflection, and finally, extension and application.We also emphasize the importance of planning for learning rather than just teaching and how understanding the science of learning can bring true joy to the classroom, and we touch upon the challenges educators face, such as burnout, and how elevating the teaching profession and fostering a culture of curiosity can lead to more joyful and fulfilling learning experiences.Join us as we share insights and inspiration for creating joyful, curious, and engaging learning environments!To learn more, order Jon's book, Just Teaching: Feedback, Engagement, and Well-Being for Each Student.The Just Schools Podcast is brought to you by the Baylor Center for School Leadership. Each week, we'll talk to catalytic educators who are doing amazing work.Be encouraged.Timestamps:[0:37] - Today's guest is Bryan Goodwin of McREL International.[2:15] - What drew Bryan to education?[2:52] - Bryan's first job was in Saint Croix, U.S. Virgin Islands.[4:53] - Bryan argues that understanding the 'why' behind teaching fosters engagement.[6:36] - Engagement and commitment are fundamental; teaching must inspire curiosity and active involvement.[8:30] - Bryan points out how short-term memory is limited; effective teaching utilizes visuals and keeps content concise.[10:28] - Bryan explains how repetition enhances memory and retention.[12:33] - It's important not just to remember knowledge but to have done something meaningful with it.[13:16] - Bryan adds that designing learning around how kids' brains work makes teaching easier and more joyful.[16:05] - Experienced teachers, similar to veteran quarterbacks, adapt strategies based on students' needs and engagement.[17:45] - Teacher burnout and fatigue is what worries Bryan the most.[19:41] - Bryan finds hope in the power of curiosity, making education engaging and impactful.[21:19] - Positive classroom environments and meaningful work in Australia effectively retain engaged teachers.[23:51] - Bryan describes current United States education as fatigued.[24:01] - Bryan hopes to see schools become more joyful and curious.[24:14] - Hear some helpful advice for educators.[25:03] - We are encouraged to write, blog, and refine because sharing ideas builds expertise.[26:02] - In conclusion, we want schools to move from fatigue to joy and curiosity.Connect on Social Media:Baylor MA in School LeadershipBaylor Doctorate in EducationJon Eckert: @eckertjonCenter for School Leadership at Baylor University: @baylorcsl

This edWeb podcast is sponsored by Exemplars.The webinar recording can be accessed here.Humans are born to be curious, explore their environments, ask questions, investigate mysteries, and solve problems. So, why are so many students presenting as disengaged and reluctant learners? Research has begun to provide educators with tangible shifts that can be made in our classrooms to ignite students' curiosity and enthusiasm for learning as well as improve learning outcomes.Bryan Goodwin, CEO of McREL, and Jay Meadows, CEO of Exemplars, unpack some of this research and explore how educators can inspire curiosity and engagement in our classrooms. Goodwin also dives into his latest book, The New Classroom Instruction that Works, the sequel to the incredibly popular Classroom Instruction that Works.These lifelong educators investigate ways to:Spark student curiosity (with mystery, incongruities, puzzles, and controversy)Give students a WIIFM (what's in it for me) for their learningAsk questions that get students to think about and make meaning in their learning (instead of just recalling their learning)Engage students in writing to learn (processing what they've learned through cognitive writing)Engage students in structured problem solving (connecting learning to the real world)This edWeb podcast is of interest to K-12 teachers and school and district leaders.Exemplars Our performance material promotes reasoning, communication, and higher-order thinking.Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.Learn more about viewing live edWeb presentations and on-demand recordings, earning CE certificates, and using accessibility features.

Get the book, The New Classroom Instruction That Works: The Best Research-Based Strategies for Increasing Student Achievement Visit the McREL website, www.McREL.org Follow Bryan on Twitter @BryanRGoodwin Follow Kris on Twitter @KrisRouleau  About the Authors Bryan Goodwin is President & CEO of McREL International,   Kris Rouleau is Vice President of Learning Services and they are the co-authors together of The New Classroom Instruction That Works: The Best Research-Based Strategies for Increasing Student Achievement

Bryan Goodwin is the CEO of McREL International and author of Learning that Sticks: A Brain-based Model for K-12 Instructional Design and Delivery. We talk about this book, but more explicitly about the implications of this for how we might better design schools and our learning environments.

A second look at our conversations about Season 5: Curious Schools, when we read the book "Building A Curious School: Restore the joy that brought you to school" by Bryan Goodwin. We'll add to our season 5 conversations and what we thought then, with what we're thinking now, plus new connections, ideas and questions. Transcripts of the episodes can be found at bit.ly/sumofitall_transcripts_s9 . Music provided by Purple Planet.

A conversation about part 5: Curios for Good (chapters 13-end) of the book "Building A Curious School: Restore the joy that brought you to school" by Bryan Goodwin to support you on your asynchronous book club journey with us. Transcripts of the episodes can be found at bit.ly/sumofitall_transcripts_S5. Music provided by Purple Planet

A conversation about part 4: Curiosity at Heart (chapters 10-12) of the book "Building A Curious School: Restore the joy that brought you to school" by Bryan Goodwin to support you on your asynchronous book club journey with us. Transcripts of the episodes can be found at bit.ly/sumofitall_transcripts_S5. Music provided by Purple Planet

A conversation about part 3: Curiosity in School Communities (chapters 7-9) of the book "Building A Curious School: Restore the joy that brought you to school" by Bryan Goodwin to support you on your asynchronous book club journey with us. Transcripts of the episodes can be found at bit.ly/sumofitall_transcripts_S5. Music provided by Purple Planet

A conversation about part 2: Curiosity in Classrooms (chapters 4-6) of the book "Building A Curious School: Restore the joy that brought you to school" by Bryan Goodwin to support you on your asynchronous book club journey with us. Transcripts of the episodes can be found at bit.ly/sumofitall_transcripts_S5. Music provided by Purple Planet

A conversation about part 1: Getting Curious about Curiosity (chapters 1-3) of the book "Building A Curious School: Restore the joy that brought you to school" by Bryan Goodwin to support you on your asynchronous book club journey with us. Transcripts of the episodes can be found at bit.ly/sumofitall_transcripts_S5. Music provided by Purple Planet

An opening conversation about the foreword and introduction of the book "Building A Curious School: Restore the joy that brought you to school" by Bryan Goodwin to support you on your asynchronous book club journey with us. Transcripts of the episodes can be found at bit.ly/sumofitall_transcripts_S5. Music provided by Purple Planet

Since episode 388 2013, I've been asking my audio what is your ONE FAVORITE podcast (and yes, I know it's hard to pick just one) but more importantly WHY is it your favorite? Steve Stewart loves the Stacking Benjamins Show I interview Steve and Mark Deal on 752 about the Podcast Editor Academy York from Poetic Earthlings likes the Matt Walsh Show show. Chris Lewis from the Dads with Daughters podcast loves The Real Brian Show. I interview Brian back on episode 449 Glenn from the Coaching Kids Curling Podcast loves the Dave Chang Show.  If you're a person of color LISTEN TO EPISODE 806 Kim Newlove of the Pharmacists Voice loves the School of Podcasting (especially 779 on Reviews, and 792 when you die) Louis Goodman of Live the Lawyer loves the Trials of Frank Carson  Scott Johnson from What Was That Like?? loves the How Sound Podcast. Neil Scott  from Recovery Coast to Coast Loves the Bob Lefsetz Podcast. Matt Rafferty of the Author Inside You loves the Grand Scheme Snatching Sinatra Joe Saul Sehy from Stacking Benjamins Show loves the Xbox On Joe mentioned The E myth book. Mark Vinet from the History of North America Podcast loves the Book Note Plus show. Shane Whaley from Spybrary and Tourpreneur loves the "That Record Got Me High" podcast. Joe loves the Warrior Next Door Podcast. Bryan Goodwin of the Relaxed Male  loves the Alive and Free show Anthony Arno of the Route 66 Podcast and the Stemclass Podcast loves the Space Shot Podcast. Dave from Your Podcast Consultant loves I Hear Things from Tom Webster.  JANUARY QUESTION OF THE MONTH I need your answer before 1/28/22 Picture yourself in a podcast app in front of a podcast you might actually enjoy. Think of this experience and comment on it. What caught your eye? Is the description important? Do you subscribe? or "Cherry Pick" episodes. Do you ever subscribe/Follow? As we all want more followers/subscribers (and yes we know most of us find our podcasts via word of mouth), BUT when you're in an app, (I realize this is kind of vague), but what goes through your mind before you press either play or subscribe/follow? Don't forget to tell us a little bit about your show, and your website address. Go to www.schoolofpodcasting.com/question Ready To Start Your Podcast? You may think nobody would listen to you, but I'm here to tell you they will. I have proven strategies to help you identify exactly what your audience wants. You will sound professional, and won't have to spend a million dollars to sound great. Learn through our online tutorials, live group coaching and a private Facebook Group filled with brilliant podcasters. Join worry-free with a 30-day money-back guarantee. See schoolofpodcasting.com/workwithme Follow the Show and Never Miss an Episode on: Apple - Google - Spotify - Amazon Check out New Podcast Apps for apps to stream bitcoin to podcasters. Did You Get Value From This Episode? Enjoy the Show? Buy Dave a Coffee and give some of that value back.   

If we teach a skill or an idea, and students didn’t learn it, how do we respond?Often we lean on more time or individual/small group support. Yet if the problem is the instructional strategy itself, more of the same will not be helpful. A student may need something different that is more effective at meeting students’ current needs.This is where cognitive science can help. Bryan Goodwin, co-author of Learning That Sticks: A Brain-Based Model for K-12 Instructional Design and Delivery (ASCD/McREL, 2020), provides a model for teachers to prepare instruction with intention.During our conversation, we discussed:What “brain-based” actually means,Why it’s wise to identify what’s in it for kids when preparing instruction, andHow to revitalize units of study to make them more effective and engaging.Effective teaching is not only knowing what to do; when and why are just as important.Related ResourcesAudio + TranscriptAlso listen to this episode on Apple Podcasts (and give a rating!)Purchase Bryan’s bookCheck out more resources on the McREL websiteFull TranscriptMatt Renwick (00:06):Welcome Bryan.Bryan Goodwin (00:09):Good to be here. I'm glad to have this conversation with you.Matt Renwick (00:12):You're the president and CEO of McREL International, a Denver-based nonprofit education, research and development organization. You're a former English teacher, correct?Bryan Goodwin (00:21):That's right.Matt Renwick (00:23):And former journalist. And you've been at McREL for over 20 years and you previously served as a chief operating officer and director of communications and marketing. You've had several books out; you write regularly for Educational Leadership. I know I've used a couple of your articles when I taught curriculum leadership at a university, I've used some of your content and that's great. I appreciate how well you distill down these complex ideas into things that are manageable.Bryan Goodwin (00:53):Appreciate that. That's great to hear.Matt Renwick (00:55):And this book really helps people manage brain-based instruction: Learning that Sticks: A Brain-Based Model for K-12 Instructional Design and Delivery. And you wrote it with Tonia Gibson and Kristin Rouleau.Bryan Goodwin (01:09):Kris Rouleau, yep.Matt Renwick (01:12):I guess that would just be the first question is, how do you define brain based?Bryan Goodwin (01:19):That's a good question. Really, what we were looking at is a combination of cognitive psychology, the science of learning, and some neuroscience, but cognitive science has been around like for decades now. What cognitive science tries to just figure out is, how do our brains actually process information? So there's something in cognitive psychology called the information processing model and the six phases are based on that. I'll give you an example: One of those early studies where they figured out one of the keys to memory is actually repetition. They figured that out entirely by accident. They were quizzing people to see, when do they forget things?Bryan Goodwin (02:02):They found that the more they quiz people, the more they actually remembered something. So that becomes one of those key principles that comes out of cognitive science: that quizzing to remember, or repetition, is the key neuroscience. Meanwhile, in a newer endeavor, maybe only the last 20 years or so, but in neuroscience, we figure out why that works. So the cognitive science tells us how the brain works. Neuroscience often gets down to the chemical level of why that works. For example, with repetition, we know from neuroscience that there's a substance called myelin that's basically a fatty substance that wraps itself around our neurons, kind of insulating them like electrical wire. Well, that means those neurons can start to fire together better. So we now know from neuroscience what we found out in cognitive science actually works. So we've combined both of those things in this book to hopefully provide teachers with the clear sense of how this process of learning actually happen in my own brain, but more importantly in my student's brain. So we can design learning accordingly.Matt Renwick (03:01):Yeah. I remember that in your book too, you've mentioned that often instructional plans are designed more from a teacher perspective, like what kind of strategies do I want to use to teach this content? And you're suggesting, recommending that we think from the student's perspective, what's going to benefit them the most, the content and the skills.Bryan Goodwin (03:20):Yeah. I think that's a key paradigm shift, that you start to think about students' brains and what's happening there. One example is learning objectives. What we all know is we have to have learning objectives. We put them on the board, but that's like a tree falling in the woods with no one to hear, if the students don't actually take that learning objective and make it their own learning goal. And so as we think about what has to happen in students' brains, we go, "Oh, that's students need to set a goal." So that we also know from brain science, when they achieve a goal, they get a dopamine hit. Right? So there's a reward that makes learning fun, enjoyable, even addictive in all the right ways.Matt Renwick (03:56):So, instructional design and delivery...how does that look different when you overlay it with a brain-based model?Bryan Goodwin (04:07):In addition to thinking about, "What's happening in students' brains?", we also want to make sure that we don't skip a step or that we don't move on. If we realize our kids aren't making sense of this, we need to give them more time to make sense of arguments. That's the fourth phase of learning, but the six phases basically are this: the first phase is saying, let's get kids interested in learning. That's the first thing that has to happen because there's a million distractions. Our brains are really good at ignoring stuff. And there's a pecking order that they follow and, believe it or not, 'Turn in your books to page 42" is nowhere on that pecking order of interest for kids. So we have to make learning interesting. We have to make the environment feel emotionally safe, too.Bryan Goodwin (04:44):Emotions are the first trigger. Once we feel safe to learn, then we want to be interested in learning. So that's the first phase. The second phase is we know that our brains are kind of inherently lazy. Daniel Kahneman, one of the giants in the field of cognitive science, writes about this, that learning is a lot of effort, that we have to power on our brains. People are listening to this podcast right now. You're having to keep your brain powered up. This is probably more difficult than say, listening to music, right? So your brain has to stay powered up. That means we need to convince our brains all the time. "Hey, keep paying attention." So that's where goal setting becomes so important, right? That we have to tell our brains, "Hey, this is important enough that I need to stay focused on this." The next phase is really focusing on new learning.Bryan Goodwin (05:23):We've learned a lot of things from cognitive science, about what's called dual coding. We process information better when it's visual and it's verbal. So we think about what that focus on new learning phase looks like. Then we know that our brains always work by connecting new learning with prior learning. So we need to give kids the opportunity to process their learning in small groups, oftentimes through their own reflection in writing, but give kids a chance of process learning. Then we know that repetition is the key. Like I mentioned, myelin, right? We've got to give kids opportunities to repeat over time, not cramming. Cramming leads to fast learning and fast forgetting. And then ultimately, I think what's missing in a lot of classes, and maybe this is the biggest difference with really designing learning with the brain in mind, is that extension/application activity.Bryan Goodwin (06:07):Right? So, we have to actually not just repeat information, but come at it from different angles and like, "Oh, now I'm going to take this new learning, I'm going to apply it to solve a problem, or I'm going to do some creative synthesis of this, or I'm going to do a writing project or a research project," and to extend and apply is really key. And that's what overcomes what John Medina writes about this, that students typically forget about 90% of what they've learned in the classroom within 30 days. Well it's because we don't provide that final phase of learning. So I think that's how learning looks different. We were thinking about the brain and saying, "Well, it's not just about teaching something kids study. We give them a test that's going to lead to fast forgetting. How do we really design learning that that keeps kids brains actively engaged throughout the entire process?"Matt Renwick (06:52):A lot of the shifts you suggest are not huge shifts. Like you said, it's maybe adding a visual with the text and that helps cement some of that knowledge into your long term memory.Bryan Goodwin (07:03):Exactly. Yeah.New Speaker (07:04):What about content? Like, no matter how hard you might work, there's just maybe certain content or skills that just kids aren't going to find relevant. I mean, do you ditch it? Do you reformat it? I mean, how do you deal with that situation?Bryan Goodwin (07:21): yeah,Bryan Goodwin (07:22):I think about myself as an English teacher. I remember teaching The Scarlet Letter to kids. I was in the Virgin Islands and like trying to get them to relate to this and honestly I didn't have it figured out. I didn't have what we talk about as a marketing term called "What's In It for Me?", WIIFM is the acronym, what's in it for me. And if you don't have that figured out, it's really difficult to teach something. And honestly, I think back about the travesty that I perpetrated on my kids, trying to teach The Scarlet Letter when I didn't actually know what's in it for them. Why should they read The Scarlet Letter? I was like, "You know, the Puritans are interesting. I don't know, but had I thought about it and sometimes where you get through that with them is, were what's the enduring understanding?Bryan Goodwin (08:00):What is it that I want them to learn when they're 18 that they'll remember when they're 80? Thinking about how do adults apply this in the real world and, honestly, if you come to the answer, you're not bereft if you don't read The Scarlet Letter. Maybe you cut it out and say, it's not really important anymore to teach. Or if you do, it's like you're thinking about those key themes, those key ideas that I really want kids to be thinking about. And so I think, you know, with mathematics or science, there's some practical application, but you really do have to get to why, why do adults learn this stuff? And why is it important for you to know? And if you can't answer that question, I think it is really difficult to do that. So then maybe from moments of reflection...I've teachers and workshops where we do this, having maybe an existential crisis, like "Why do I teach asset theory?" Right? I need to figure this out. And if I don't have it clear, I know my kids won't figure it out. So I think short answer, you have to dig deep into what is, why is this important to teach? And if you honestly can't answer the question, then you probably should talk to colleagues and others and say, why are we teaching whatever.Matt Renwick (09:02):It might be. That's a good point too: if you don't just assume there's not some kind of an enduring understanding, theme, to take the time to look into it. Kind of walk us through the phases of a brain-based model. How do we know that these phases support student growth and achievement?Bryan Goodwin (09:24):Yeah, that's a really good question. In fact, something that we've done a bit in the book Learning That Sticks, but also we're actually doing right now - I'll forecast something - we are reexamining research that supports a title we've had out there for quite a while called Classroom Instruction That Works. So we're looking now at empirical studies and here's what we can find from empirical research in classrooms, that something like goal setting has tremendous effect sizes for learners. And so it is getting kids to set their own personal goals, to track their own progress. And so we know that works as a classroom instructional strategy. If you understand how the brain works, then you see why that would work, right? Now. I understand, "Oh, I'm helping kids get those dopamine hits," right? When they achieve a goal or I'm helping them and sometimes set small goals...Bryan Goodwin (10:09):...so that every day they're moving, they're making progress towards where they wanna get to. And I'm helping their brains to: "Hey, this is important. Stay focused, persevere, you know, productive struggles. So we do actually know kind of each step along the way. And that's where in the book we have provided those evidence-based strategies. We also know, for example, like queuing cognitive interest or getting kids interested in their learning has tremendous effect sizes. Also we actually know from neuroscience why that is true because there's a dopamine reward when you're curious about something and you solve your curiosity, resolve your curiosity: You get a dopamine hit. We also know neuroscience studies have found that we tend to learn things that are even unintentional, that there's accidental learning that happens. It seems that somehow how curiosity primes our brains for learning. So we learn more. So we can see both from like laboratory studies that are cognitive science studies, but also classroom studies, why each of these spaces are really important.Matt Renwick (11:08):You've spoken about this already, just why we need to get kids first interested and committed to learning. Maybe to that question then, just what we've noticed in our schools, and I think other educators are noticing this too, is kids have had a harder time getting back into independent reading, writing, even holding a pencil for younger kids because they just haven't had that practice. Any ideas of what as we, as educators can do to get them reinterested and recommitted to some of these more independent and kind of solitude-centered, I guess, activities, like you said, in a world of connections. That's been a challenge for us. Any thoughts on that?Bryan Goodwin (11:53):Yeah, I think that's where also goal setting is really important. We work with schools a lot on making the shift from learning objectives to success criteria. And that's not a new idea, but for a lot of teachers, it's not until I define how will I know when kids know it, how will they know when they know it? That usually then also kind of forces that question about, so why are we asking kids to learn this? And I think we do need to spend time helping them become interested in learning. There are also things we know from studies, like "What does peak curiosity?" Well, things like mysteries, right? Trying to solve a mystery. So sometimes we might wanna flip history around, like, "Why did the Roman Empire fall? Let's figure that out," right? When actually there's a debate.Bryan Goodwin (12:35):That's the other strategy that creates curiosity, is controversy. When kids realize that historians still don't agree two thousand years later why the Roman Empire fell, or just 1700 years later. So we can use controversy. We can use things like cognitive conflict when something doesn't quite square with our expectations. I live here in Denver, Colorado. And interesting that what happens in the wintertime is when the wind is blowing out of the mountains, it actually makes Denver warmer. It's Chinook winds, but that seems contrary to what we would think, because it's cold in the mountains. Why does that work, right? So posing those kind of conflicts, I think also we can use like just even suspense, right? Literature is full of suspense, or a science experiment. What do you think is gonna happen? I actually write about this...Bryan Goodwin (13:19):...in some of my books. My daughter, Molly, who's now a freshman in high school, years ago - I think she was in second grade - snowy morning here in Denver. She's coming down the stairs as I'm going up the stairs. And she asked, "Dad, is it a school day?" You know, I'm thinking she wants it to be a snow day and I have to inform we're in Denver. So it's gonna have to snow sideways before it's a snow day. Right? So like Wisconsin, I'm sure. So, no, it's still a school day and I thought she'd be dejected and bummed out. But she pumps her fish, like she's excited, right? She can't went to go to school and it wasn't because of the cafeteria or seeing friends. It was like they were doing an overnight science experiment. It was that that made her want to come back to school.Bryan Goodwin (13:56):So I think what we have to recognize is that our kids' brains, these days have more distractions than ever, right. There's so much media that's out there. We have to figure out how do we cut through all the noise with the signal that makes them say this is interesting, right? The good news is that we don't have to teach curiosity to kids. We're all born curious. And so if we can tap into that, that's a good way to start the whole process. And then you build in the rest of the six phases of learning. But I think to your point, I mean, if you skip that first (phase) - get kids interested- the train leaves the station without them, right? So we want to figure that out. It's worth spending some time doing that. And honestly that tends to be more of a collaborative activity. Teachers should come together to say, "How do we hook kids' interest in, you know, American literature or American history, whatever it is - that's what I used to teach, right- so how do you get kids interest in that?New Speaker (14:46):So I hear the three Cs: curiosity, controversy, and conflict.Bryan Goodwin (14:53):Yeah, exactly. And it's productive conflict, right? So another great example is, "Should we list the wolf as an endangered species?" You can hear what environmentalists have to say about that. You can hear what ranchers have to say about that. That's actually a study that was done and found kids were so interested in learning about the wolf in that frame, they would stay in from recess to watch a film and to learn more about it, because we all want to sort out ideas in our minds of where do we stand on this. So instead of shying away from controversy, there are certainly some very productive conversations kids can have around controversy.Matt Renwick (15:32):You can weave in reading, writing, speaking, and listening...Bryan Goodwin (15:34):Absolutely.Matt Renwick (15:38):That would be a relevant topic here in Wisconsin too. The final question is, what does this look like? You work with schools and teachers...what do you see when you see teachers engaging in this brain-based model for instructional design?Bryan Goodwin (15:57):I think one of the key things that happens, Matt is, it's intentionality. Teachers become metacognitive in their practices. I think about my first year as a teacher. You would've seen me doing some of the right things, right? Cooperative learning, but if you'd ask me, "Brian, why are you doing cooperative?" I'd say, "I've been lecturing all week. You know, I need to do something different." That's not why we do cooperative learning. It's not Cooperative Wednesdays, right? It's, "I'm at a point in the learning process where I want my kids to pause and process together and make sense of their learning." So I think that's the first key shift is teachers become more intentional. I think something else that we see oftentimes though is while there are six phases and several teaching strategies that hang under each, sometimes schools will say, "We just need to focus on one thing right now."Bryan Goodwin (16:43):And sometimes it is. So those success criteria, let's be really clear about why we're asking kids to learn this and why we'll know that they've got it, how they will know they've got it. And it's those "I can" statements, but embedded with this idea of "what's in it for me?". So we find that sometimes it's great for schools or teachers to have the overall model in their minds, but then say we're going to work on one phase right now. That seems to be where learning is breaking down. That's another way to think about this, is like when learning is breaking down or doesn't seem to be happening, is it because kids aren't interested. So maybe we start there. Is it because no, we, we got their attention, but they don't seem to stay focused. We're going to think about that commit to learning phase for wherever it may be breaking down. So sometimes it becomes a really great diagnostic tool as well. If learning isn't happening the way we think it should. what phase did we miss? You know, when did the train leave the station without the kids, and let's go back and be sure we got that figured out.Matt Renwick (17:36):I remember using the Classroom Instruction That Works book for professional learning in my first stint as an administrator, as an assistant principal. And we followed what you mentioned now that you mentioned it: I think there were like nine, correct?Bryan Goodwin (17:50):That's right.Matt Renwick (17:50):So we focused on three per year, over a three year period. And then within that, a teacher could pick one. And really made it personalized, but also schoolwide and we're kind of moving together.Bryan Goodwin (18:02):I think it's a great strategy, to have PLCs come together, a grade level team come together to say, "Yeah, let's get really good at this one particular phase of learning." Becaise we think now it's the biggest inflection point for us, if we can do this well consistently and intentionally.Matt Renwick (18:17):Well, your book lays it out very nicely in Learning that Sticks: A Brain-Based model for K-12 instructional design and delivery. Where can we learn more about your work, Brian?Bryan Goodwin (18:27):Just come to our website, www.mcrel.org. There are a lot of free resources. There's in fact a free download that relates to this book. You can find lots of materials there. You'll find me there as well. So you can reach out to me. I'm always happy to answer questions and to chat with folks about this work.Matt Renwick (18:47):And you also have an eCourse that can goes with this too.Bryan Goodwin (18:50):That's correct. Yes. We have an online course that provides an overview of this and we've designed it also really to be effective professional learning. So ideally, you know, teams would come together, do the eCourse, but then have a chance to meet together. So that one of the things we talk about is the importance of processing learning in a group. So we've designed the eCourse that way too.Matt Renwick (19:11):I saw you had some discussion boards in there and so you’re trying to practice what you preach, right?Bryan Goodwin (19:17):Exactly. That's right. Modeling the practice too.Matt Renwick (19:21):So thanks Brian. It was good to talk to you and I encourage everyone to check out this book.Matt Renwick (19:26):Thank you so much, Matt, for the opportunity. And I look forward to hearing from listeners too. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit readbyexample.substack.com

Big Brother Jake invited his friend, former Navy shipmate and host of The Relaxed Male Podcast, Bryan Goodwin to the show. Bryan and Jake discussed everything from being recovering nice guys to how men are viewed in society to the lack of men holding each other accountable.

In our 20th episode, Gil talks category creation with two leaders from the customer experience performance and sports media categories. Panelists for this episode include Macario Namie, CMO of ASAPP and leader behind the customer experience performance category, and Bryan Goodwin, President of TorchPro and leader behind the digital sports media category. You'll walk away from this episode with an understanding of customer research, thought leadership, and fundraising. BONUS! Macario explains why patience is the best quality a leader can have.

Get the book, Balanced Leadership for Powerful Learning: Tools for Achieving Success in Your SchoolFollow Bryan on Twitter @bryanrgoodwinAbout Bryan GoodwinBryan Goodwin is President & CEO of McREL International, a nonprofit school improvement organization that seeks to harness the power of curiosity and inquiry to empower all learners through rigorously researched professional learning and coaching services for school systems worldwide. He's the author of numerous books.

Question of the week https://www.quora.com/Is-it-better-to-reward-good-value-or-punish-bad-behavior-during-parenting/answer/Bryan-Goodwin-10?ch=10&share=1a1465c2&srid=p0zJe   Main topic Why is the man's body important to living a relaxed male lifestyle? The body is where you are at. Yeah, you are also in your mind but your body represents who you are. Are you fat or just slightly pudgy? Maybe you are a bean pole. How we look is important and tells the world a lot of what we think of ourselves. So your body is also about your health. This means getting your body in shape helping you to find the love you need for yourself. You want to exercise because you want to honor your body. It also helps you live longer.  We abuse our bodies so much and don't show it the respect we need to show. So there is a change in ourselves we need to make if we want to be successful and prosperous. Treating our bodies right helps also show our sons what it means to take care of ourselves. You show them that nothing is easy but the results are worth it. Why is your health so important You have a better life. Your life is better when you are healthy. Now I didn't say it was perfect but it is worth it. You have a better outlook on life and you see the possibilities in a clearer mind. You think clearer Yes, your mind isn't as jumbled up with all the mess and extra thinking when you have a healthy body., Your body carries oxygen better which helps you think better. You don't have as many constricted capillaries that allow the blood to flow even easier. This in turn helps keep your blood pressure down. We need controlled violent activities Men have this crazy chemical in our systems called Testosterone, and it is what causes us to have denser muscles and other attributes. One thing about testosterone is that it needs to be burned off. To burn it off men have to have controlled violent activities. This is why boys can concentrate better after exercise. Boys often have way more energy than what they know what to do with. So they burn it off by running and jumping and daring each other to try crazy challenges. As a grown man we have the same problem yet if we don't use it up we produce less. So it is a case of use it or loses it. So this is why Jujitsu or some other activity is needed for us men. That is why if you want to have more testosterone it is actually good to just go out in the back and throw a heavy rock around the yard. Do something more than just a leisure walk. Do aggressive pushups or run some bleachers. So something in a more aggressive form.f It helps you live longer With better health is a better heart. A better heart gives you a healthier mind. With all this, you have a chance to live your life to its fullest. You have less stress When you have used up all your excess energy you don't have the reserves to apply to stress. That stress is often just penny up energy that comes in the form of stress. When you aren't thinking as clearly your mind thinks up other things to worry about. Proves that hard work is worth it When you work out all the time you see the change in your body. That change isn't instant but one day you look and suddenly you have muscles in places you never knew you have muscles  Discomfort doesn't kill you but it makes you stronger. You find out that those sore joints and muscles won't kill you yeah they are uncomfortable but you press through it and you find that you are better for it. Now I am going to be doing the 75Hard by Andy Frisells's 75hard program. This is where for the next 75 days I will do some rather challenging tasks. You may not think they are hard when you see them but I have heard many people quit and I hear my mind making up excuses right now as to why I can't do it. So I am ready. Are you join me and we will get over this hump together.  Join me by starting here. If you are interested in making a group where we can support each other let me know.

In this episode, we’re speaking with Bryan Goodwin, Pete Hall and Alisa Simeral about their recent book – Pursuing Greatness: Empowering Teachers to Take Charge of Their Professional Growth.  Bryan is President & CEO at McREL International, a Denver-based nonprofit education research and development organization that serves educators across the US, the Pacific, and Australia. The mission of McREL is…Read more

#018 - You might think that a vegan would never become a hunter. Bryan Goodwin tells his story about how he made that change, as well as his epic story of success on his first hunt: an archery mule deer hunt in Arizona. Follow Bryan on Instagram @bryangoodwin_Get your Hunt the West swag here: https://huntthewest.us/shop See the extended show notes including a picture of Bryan and his buck:https://huntthewest.us/18 Be sure to leave a rating and review!If you want to send me an email or contact the show: skyler@huntthewest.us I'd love to hear from you!

The benefits of getting out into nature have been well-documented. Bryan Goodwin of Relaxed Male gives us some tips and tricks to reconnect with nature with an aim at healing your mind and relaxing your body.

In today's episode, we help a truck driver start an online business. FULL TRANSCRIPT Jocelyn: Hey, y'all. On today's podcast, we help a truck driver start an online business. Shane: Welcome to the Flipped Lifestyle Podcast where life always comes before work. We're your host, Shane and Jocelyn Sams. We're a real family that figured out how to make our entire living online, and now we help other families do the same. Are you ready to flip your life? All right, lets get started. Shane: What's going on everybody? Welcome back to the Flipped Lifestyle podcast. It is great to be back with you again today. We are super excited to have another member of the Flip Your Life community on the show, so that we can help them find their idea, start, build, and grow their own online business, just like we have, and just like hundreds of other people have in the Flip Your Life community. Shane: Super excited to welcome our guest today, Bryan Goodwin. Bryan, welcome to the Flipped Lifestyle Podcast. Bryan: Hey guys. I appreciate y'all having me on here today. Shane: I think this is a first Bryan because ... we're going to get into your story in just a second. Bryan is a truck driver, and we are actually recording this podcast, he is in his truck on the side of the road right now. Right? Jocelyn: Not driving. Shane: Not driving, he's not driving, but this is the first time I think anyone has ever recorded a podcast with us inside of a semi truck, so I'm pretty excited about that. Bryan: Well, actually I've heard just about all y'all's episodes, so its ... I think yeah the first one y'all had someone that was a truck driver or is a truck driver. No, there's a truck driver in the forums. Shane: That's right. There is. There is. I remember that podcast, but they were not actually in their truck. Bryan: Yeah, they weren't actually in the truck. Shane: That's where you took it to the next level, Bryan. You took it to the next level. Bryan: Glad I could do that. Jocelyn: I'm just curious. I know you spend a lot of time on the road. I'm sure that you listen to a lot of different stuff, but how did you discover us, and have you listened to everything? Bryan: How I actually found you, I'm not a hundred percent. I believe what happened is I was just looking for a business podcast. I was looking for some more information on businesses, because I listen to the (inaudible) and things like that. Y'all's came up, and so I decided let's give them a try, started listening and, I don't know, got all the way up to one particular episode, and I was like, "All right. Well, they've got me pretty much sold. I've got this, but I want to see what else I can learn," so I jumped all the way back and started with episode one, which I actually had to manually download the first 30 because y'all had already cleared the 300 mark- Shane: Right. Bryan: -by that time, so I had to manually download the first 30 and then go from 30 all the way up to what I had listened to at that time. Shane: Love it. Bryan: I've listened to a whole lot of Shane and Jocelyn Sams. Jocelyn: Bless your heart. Shane: Right, bless your heart, man. I know we had you hooked here because I've heard you say y'all about five times, and as soon as you heard that hey y'all at the beginning of the show, you're like, "Wait a minute." Bryan: Oh, yeah. Shane: These are my people. These are my peeps. I've found my people. Jocelyn: Yeah, so I was curious about that because I know you spend a lot of time driving, and you probably spend a lot of time listening. Shane: Well, I'm glad that we have kept you company on many miles of road. Bryan: Yep. Shane: Hopefully, we can help you take everything to the next level, what you're doing. Maybe someday we'll get you off the road. Bryan: Well, that's the objective. Jocelyn: All right, so you are a driver right now, and tell us just a little bit more about your life, about your background, and then we'll get into more of the business side. Bryan: Okay. I've been driving truck for about 11 years now. I drive for the oil field. I actually just hauled what's called frack sand from quarries and stuff like that and take them out to where they do the hydraulic fracking at, and they use the sand actually as a means to prop the cracks and the rock up. I won't go into the details on what fracking is because that just goes completely off rails, but- Shane: We've been known to go off the rails a little bit here on the show, man. That's okay. Bryan: So- Jocelyn: This is all Greek to me. I have no idea what all this means. Bryan: Yeah- Shane: Jocelyn, I just heard sand and I was like, "Sweet. Sand. Okay." Jocelyn: Okay, I can call it that. Shane: There's a big truck of sand. Bryan's at the wheel. Here we go. Bryan: Yeah, so the issue that I run into is that I'm subjected to the swings in the market, so if oil fields, natural gas, and oil prices are getting really high, then yeah I get to have steak and go out and have fun, but if they fall through the floor, I'm eating Cheerios out of a tinfoil bowl. There's a lot of feasts and a lot of famine, and you don't really know when one is going to come upon you, and when the other one's going to leave, so just the swings, and I'm not enjoying the trucking life anymore. Bryan: I've always wanted to get myself out of the truck after about, I don't know, probably about seven years of it. That's when I really started diving into podcasts and started trying to come up with different ideas. I've ran podcasts and blogs for probably about 10 of those years, but just I'm to the point now to where it's like, "All right. I've got to start trying something. I've played at poking the bear a bit. Now, let's go ahead and let's wrestle the guy down to the ground." Jocelyn: Yeah, exactly. Well, tell me about your driving? Do you drive for away? Is it mostly more locally? I know you live in Oklahoma, right? Bryan: Right. It's mostly just regional. There's been a couple times where we've had to go grab sand at some really odd places, all the way up from Oklahoma all the way to Pennsylvania to pick up a load- Shane: Whoa. Bryan: -get halfway ... yeah- Shane: My gosh. Bryan: -go and get halfway back for the oil company that we were hauling for to go, "Yeah. That sand you got, nevermind. We don't need it. Go take it back." Shane: Oh my Go-. I think you just also set the record for the longest commute of anyone who's been on the show. I got this 24 hour commute, guys, and I'd really like to show you...so maybe this aha business thing can open some doors for me. Bryan: Open some doors, exactly. So, it was - but most of the time it's just around the western Oklahoma area, western Texas, Texas panhandle area, may go up into Kansas just a little bit, but most of it's Oklahoma. Shane: Just a lot of moving down the road, man. Bryan: Yes, sir. Shane: Lot of lonely times on the road, right? Bryan: Yep, lot of I-40. Jocelyn: All right, so you've been doing this driving thing for quite awhile. You decided, okay this is not the life that I want long term. So tell us a little bit about how you decided to start something online, and what it is that you're doing. Bryan: All right. Started out - one of the podcasts I listen to is Late Night Internet Marketing, and Mark Mason is the host there. And he had talked about how he was doing drop ship. I was like all right, hey...cause I'd kind of heard about it and I'd wondered how do you get into drop shipping, thinking that would be better than having a room in the back packed full of inventory. Shane: Let me explain what drop shipping is, because some listeners might not know. Drop shipping is basically where you are responsible for selling goods, but they're kept at another location. So if you fulfill - you may have a big inventory that's kept at a factory, and you just sell it online - the order goes to the factory, or the warehouse or whatever, they send it out. You're just responsible for basically selling it. You buy the goods, they're kept somewhere else, they're shipped from somewhere else, and so you never touch the stuff, you're just responsible for the marketing, and the sales, and getting it actually ordered by people. Bryan: Precisely. And so I thought, that would be a great idea. It's really easy to get it all set up. So I went over to one of the little online store areas. You can set one up for about 30 bucks a month, and tried that out, and just through 3-6 months worth of 30 dollar payments out the window. And didn't make sale. But, I liked what the premise was about, but just because I was focusing more on the guy lifestyle - just being the guy. That's kind of what I've always... Shane: What kind of products were they, that you were trying to sell? Bryan: Well, they were anything from some of the unique whiskey glasses and decanters. And so you had kind of like the smoky bar room vibe to it. Shane: Gotcha. Stereotypical man stuff. Bryan: Yeah, stereotypical is the best way to put it, yes sir. Stereotypical man stuff that was neat looking - wasn't just a normal glass, it was like a glass looked like it was kind of twisted - things like that. Bryan: Anyhow, went from that and just realized I wasn't making any money, wasn't making any sales. The closest I'd get - the software that was in the background would say that the sale was done in a very sketchy way, and so it was probably a stolen credit card, so I was like all right, I'm not going to set here and put myself at risk and be on the hook for a bad sale. Shane: Right. Bryan: So I went ahead and I decided I'll ditch that and go back into what I really like to do. I like to write, I like to blog, like to write. And just kind of start go blog and do affiliate marketing, things like that. And that's where Relaxed Male come from. And it's just kind of progressed, and every time I progress a little bit, about once a year it, seems like I'll get a little more focused, and a little more focused. So it was guys lifestyle, and I was like, no, let's talk about guys and getting them leadership and keeping the outdoor element to it, because I think getting people outside and being outdoors and stuff like that is really important for people as a whole. And for men more in particular. Bryan: And so I've gotten down to where now it's men's coaching. Men's outdoor coaching is what I'm focusing into. Shane: I love this journey, okay. Cause you said some really interesting things there. Shane: One, just like, to combat stereotypes a little bit. So, since we're stereotypically talking about men's stuff we're selling, let's combat some stereotypes. You wouldn't think, you know, you talk to a truck driver - we all have this Americana image of a good 'ol truck driver driving down the road, a manly man, working with his hands and all this stuff. But you're like, I'm a truck driver, and I love to write. I like that. It's like, I thought about what I really like to do, and I was waiting for you to be like, fix diesel engines, or something like that. But you're like, I just love to write. And I just want to blog. Shane: But it's so funny, we live in this weird world now where that is true. We all are a weird conglomerate of interests now, because of the internet, because of online, because of the way the world works now. And it's like, yeah man, a truck driver can love to blog, and he can get his message out there. And this driver - you know, you probably have a lot of anxiety about meeting deadlines and stress getting the sand where it needs to be, and there's people yelling all this stuff. I'm like, man...you just go home on the weekends, you're like, I'm getting out, I'm going outside, going for a hike. I'm going to hunt, fish, whatever you do. You do something outside to relax. You've learned how to manage this crazy lifestyle of driving to Pennsylvania from Oklahoma every once in awhile, right? Bryan: Right. Shane: And you've learned how to manage this, and now you want to mentor other men how to do this, right? Bryan: Right. Jocelyn: And I think it makes a lot of sense, I mean, there's also a lot of family stress I would imagine that goes along with this type of job, too. Shane: Yeah, just being away from everybody and stuff like that. Bryan: Oh yeah. That's one of the big things about in oil field, is you're on call. It's not a - it's Monday morning, it's time to hop in the truck and go drive around. It's all right, it's time to head out and it's 11 o'clock at night and they're like - hey one trucking company messed up so they're needing some loads. So I need you and about five other guys to hop in those trucks and head out to go grab some sand. Bryan: So, it was always...it was kind of a running joke at the company - which is an amazing company, I'm not disparaging them in the least, because the company I would drive for, they're great folks. But, there was more than one time where I would be two hours down the road going to the city, and I would get a call just as I crossed into the city limits, and they'd be like, we need you to go ahead and go on a run. And it was like, oh man, all right, I'll be there in two - I'll be back in about two hours. Shane: Crazy, man. Bryan: Cause we'd sat there for two days beforehand with nothing, so it was like, all right, let's get some errands run. Shane: But the crazy thing is though, Bryan, this is the life that a lot of people live, and there's millions of truck drivers. There's millions of people that are on call. Everybody from truck drivers to doctors. And that disruptive, not being able to plan things ahead lifestyle can make you feel out of control. Shane: I'm sure there's a lot of people listening right now, you don't feel like you have control of your schedule. You feel like you're at the whim of the markets and everybody else. And that's just - the world works - we all got to grind, we all got to do things. We all have to meet expectations of others and ourselves. And managing the anxiety of that, managing the stress of that is really half the battle toward living like a flipped lifestyle. Shane: We've talked a lot about this lately. I don't want to pigeon-hole the flipped lifestyle into totally 100% you've quit your job, you're making money with digital products, whatever. Jocelyn: Life is good. Shane: Yeah, life is good. That's not what it is. It's more like being able to create a life where you feel in control. That's the flipped lifestyle. If you could just manage your anxiety and stress, that might be the first step of hey, I've got joy back in my life to enjoy what I'm doing now, and then I can do something else later too, and change what I'm doing. Shane: So, I think it's a super worthy mission, and I think it's an amazing idea. I love that you're - I can just picture you driving down the road in your semi-truck, but your wheels - you listen to a podcast and you just turn it off, sitting in silence thinking about your next blog post. For some reason, that makes me really gloriously happy. That's awesome. Jocelyn: Your website is relaxedmale.com Shane: Which is a great two-word domain name, by the way. Jocelyn: And you've tried a couple different things on this, right? So let's talk a little bit about that. Bryan: I've tried a couple different things. First off, like I said, I was doing affiliates and realized it didn't work. So, focused in on more of a service, just because I had the epiphany that I wanted to help people. And, I've done that for - every since I was little - I would try to find a way of helping people out. So, naturally wanted to start doing coaching, so that's where the...I started getting into how to coach, and wanted to run a blog post about how to help guys through the different challenges that they're running into through today's society. Bryan: A lot of the posts are maybe a little on the touchy-feely side, but at the same time there's also a touch of woo-woo into it, so there's a method to it, and I've been trying to kind of use the blog as a means to map out a good solution. And I've got couple different ways that I like to take that. Shane: Cool. I pictured it's like, Bryan Goodwin, the touchy-feely truck driver. I just pictured...which could actually be totally misinterpreted in a terrible way. No, we're not going to call you the touchy-feely truck driver. I do not want to do that, okay. I do not want to go there. But, I think we all can just be friends here and know what we mean, okay? Jocelyn: Let's steer clear of that. Shane: Let's steer clear of the touchy-feely... Bryan: Touchy-feeling truck driver. Shane: I think Relaxed Male is a much better choice of a domain name than the Touchy-Feely Truck Driver. Yeah, that might be a terrible made-for-TV movie someday... Shane: I love your website. I'm looking at your website. You're doing a lot of things great. You've got a great - you're website at the top says Reconnecting Leaders to Nature - I want to talk about that in a little bit. Love your logo, it's a stick man leaning back on a mountain like he's in a hammock though. That's pretty genius, and it looks amazing. And then all your imagery is very good, it's manly, you have this picture of this tent that's by this campfire, by this lake, with mountains...it's like someone pulled over their truck in Colorado and slept under the stars. You know what I'm saying? Bryan: Right. Shane: And you've got this big picture of a chain, and your writing is very good, it's very plain spoken. It sounds like you. I love how you started your About page with "You know, this was going to be an online store for guys. I was going to try some drop shipping. Then, as I was writing the blog post, the store fell away and I closed it." I love how decisive that is. "The store was not important. I wanted to talk about the adventure of being a guy." And then you just go in to talking about how - basically what I just said - your writing is very good, very, very good. Is that plain English, Jocelyn? Very good, or should I say you write well. Jocelyn: Yes, either way works. Shane: Either way would be correct? Okay. All right. I'm just making sure all the grammar police aren't out there pulling me over. Ya'll write good, you write real good, man. You know what I mean? Bryan: You're all right. Shane: We're all right, we're all right. Shane: Your website's beautiful, you write well, you've got awesome imagery. Your doing a lot of things right, and I can see how this has evolved by just sitting here and looking at your site. You've got a pop up opt in and a hero bar at the top way for them to opt in. Have you been able to collect some emails and stuff like that? Bryan: No, my email list is very hard-earned, and I've actually had two new ones sign up just within a couple weeks. Shane: Awesome man, those are real humans, man. Everyone counts. You know what I mean? Bryan: But, I avoid like the plague to say I have just X-number of opt ins, because I think I have a low number, but I mentioned something about it on the blog and something about just visits, and people were like well, that's better than what I'm getting, so... Shane: How much traffic do you get right now? Bryan: This month here, apparently I've done something correct, because I'm up to about 10-30 people a day visiting. Shane: I'll tell you what you did correct, you joined the Flipped Lifestyle community, man. You've went into the Flip Your Life community and you said I'm doing something right around here, and everybody's like, I'm paying attention. So they showed up, right? That's great. That's good for 30 or 40 emails a month if you do it right. Shane: All right, so you've got the blog, you've got some direction. You've got some opt ins and things like that. Let's talk about how we're going to grow this thing. Jocelyn: All right, so you have the website, you're no longer selling items that are being drop shipped, and I'm just kind of looking at it here - I don't really see any form of monetization right now, would that be accurate? Bryan: No, there is some up at the top where you'll see coaching. Coaching the Mastermind are the monetization areas. Shane: Oh, okay I see it. Jocelyn: Okay, I gotcha. Shane: There's buttons below the fold, so we need to get those above the fold for sure. Bryan: Okay, there's also the...so I need to work on. Jocelyn: I see, I see the menu bar. Shane: I see the menu bar now, I see it. Yep. It's just kind of hidden a little bit. Bryan: Okay. Shane: It's not prominent, basically. Jocelyn: Okay. Shane: But that's okay. Jocelyn: So, we have that. What is holding you back right now? Shane: What kind of internal fears or doubts, or maybe an external obstacle, like technically challenges or something...what's kind of keeping you from moving forward. Because it looks like you're doing a lot of things right, so what's stopping you? Bryan: I have where I want to be. I have a vision of how I want Relaxed Male to look. I want to be able to not have grand conference, but you know you have, maybe a yearly gathering of some of the guys who are able to get together, and we go out to do a week long camping expedition out in the middle of the Grand Teton or something like that. I have this vision of that, but I'm not exactly sure how to progress into that - to get on the right road to go to that dream. I see coaching and masterminds as kind of a way to get the ball rolling, but I'm not 100% sure if that's really the best way. Bryan: Right now, I feel like I'm just trying, but I'm just not making any headway. I don't know if it's just me being impatient or what. But that's precisely what I'm feeling - I've been hammering at this for totally the blog is almost two years old. Which, everything I've heard and read and understand about blogs, I'm just right there at that point where a lot of times you start building critical mass and everything takes off out of nowhere. But I've also done blogs that lasted four years and stayed around 10-15 visitors a day. Bryan: So I don't know if I'm just always, am I focusing too much on the visitors? Am I too obsessed with my numbers and just keep chipping away and eventually something's going to break and I'm going to all of a sudden have people paying attention, or what. Shane: Yeah. Bryan: Am I making myself any more clear, or am I about as clear as mud? Shane: No listen, I guarantee you that there are thousands of people listening to this podcast right now in their cars, on treadmills, or wherever they're at, and they're shaking their head like that's totally me. Right? That's part of the journey. Shane: There's four phases of entrepreneurship. Jocelyn and I call it the Flipped Life cycle. Shane: So, at first you become a yearner. You yearn for more. You want more, you know there's something else. It's almost like you're out on a hike and you're standing on one side of the mountain. And you know there's something cool on the other side of that mountain. You yearn for it, but you don't really do it. Shane: So then you learn. You start learning about online business. You start learning about all the things that go, right? You start learning about how to start a blog, how to do these things. And it's kind of like learning the trail that takes you to the top of that mountain to see what's on the other side. Jocelyn: And a lot of people never get past that. Shane: That's exactly right. And then what happens is you move, you shift, and you actually go on the trail. You start walking, right? And this is where you want to go become an earner. You want to take all these things you learned, take action on them, and go earn some money, right? Shane: But before that is the grind. You got to sweat, you got to hump it, you got to pull it up, you got to climb the mountain. But then here's what freaks people out...they grind for all this time, they get to the top of the trail that they learned about, they look over, and they realize that there's a huge valley with no trail, and they got to get to the mountain top on the other side, right? Shane: And that's where a lot of people quit. And that's kind of where you are right now. You went to the top of the mountain. You're getting traffic, you're getting some emails, you're getting some traction. You're idea is kind of clarifying into some general concept into what you want it to be, and then you realize ah crap, there's still a lot of work left to do. You know what I mean? Bryan: Yes. Shane: But that's kind of what happens. You have to go through the grind, and then there is a tipping point where you start earning money. And then everything just starts burning it up. You figure it out. Right? Bryan: Okay. Shane: Now, so that's kind of like the path. And you're kind of at the edge of the grind. You're kind of coming out of it like, man if I just could put this together, I think there - it's like a puzzle that you've poured out. You see all the pieces, there's a picture on the box, and you're just not sure where the corners are yet. Right? Bryan: Right, okay. Shane: And that's where a lot people are. And what we want to do is we want to get you to the next level. So I think the best use of our time here is probably clarifying this idea, right? We've got to take the fuzzy picture, and we've got to turn the knob, and we've got to bring it into focus. Okay? Shane: So, let's talk about really the mission of Relaxed Male first. I think you're onto something here about a mentorship and a coaching program. I know a lot of people that do this really well. There's a guy named Aaron Walker. His brand is called A View From the Top. Have you ever heard Aaron? Bryan: Oh yes, Aaron's...Big A. Shane: Big A, man. Jocelyn: Yep. Shane loves Big A. Shane: I love Big A. I've met the guy, and I have some friends who hang out with him. Gosh, what a genuine soul and human being. He's got this Facebook series. And every morning he goes for a walk, and he goes, What's going on, it's Big A coming to you live from the National [inaudible 00:25:33]. Right, it's hilarious. Shane: But anyway, but I know a lot of men that are in his mastermind. He's got a mastermind that's called Iron Sharpens Iron. And he just wanted to take his mentorship to these people. And it's an expensive mastermind, but they do trips like this. But they don't do hiking - they meet at a hotel or something. It's a different vibe than what you're doing, but it's definitely taking your life experience, finding guys that need it, and a lot of guys need this. Reconnect with nature, get rid of this anxiety from your job, let me show you how - listen to how stressful my job is, and I figured it out, so I can totally help you figure it out. So, you're more than qualified and worthy to do this. Shane: But I want to talk to you about your mission. I think your mission is a little too broad. Bryan: Okay. Shane: Relaxed Male is fine. That's a good domain name, we can use that. But it says Reconnecting Leaders to Nature, okay? Bryan: Right. Shane: And I think that's influenced maybe from hearing other podcasts and a lot of people do stuff like that, like leadership and whatever. Jocelyn: It sounds nice. Shane: It sounds nice, but it's so - what is a leader? Who are you really talking to? I'm just wondering if you wouldn't reconnect now. Imagine if this said - let's go super hyper-specific and broaden back out - what if it said Reconnecting Truck Drivers to Nature? Right? You are a truck driver. What if every truck driver in America listened to your podcast or read your blog at the truck stop or - there's millions of truck drivers out there, and they're probably as stressed out as you were until you figured out dang man, if I just go out and camp for a few days, I feel so much better about that drive to Pennsylvania. You know what I mean? Bryan: Okay. Shane: And so maybe it's just a tightening of the message to draw in super high quality traffic. You can get 30 hits a day on a blog, but if every one of them joined your list because they're targeted, you're getting 30 emails a day. So it's not about the bulk of traffic, it's about the quality of traffic. And I could even see maybe it expanding out to more like reconnecting blue collar workers to nature. Right, guys that are out there - these are manly men who are - what about the mechanic that's working on the trucks? What about the guys on the oil field that are taking the sand out, putting it where it needs to go? Shane: I think if you could just focus in a little tighter, you're going to have a better chance of resonating.It's not about getting attention. It's about resonating with the people who are paying attention. Jocelyn: Because right now, when I look at your website, just on first glance, it reminds me of some type of yoga retreat or something. And I don't feel like that's who you are. Shane: Yeah, right. It's more like being the meditative quality of being in the tent. It's not about sitting around going Wohhmm with yoga mats on the side of the lake right? Jocelyn: So I think where we are right now, is you have to decide who am I and what problem am I solving for people in a unique way? And that's what your site needs to say, and that's where your content needs to go. Shane: And you also have to create competitive advantage with your idea. Take the Flipped Lifestyle podcast. When we were thinking about the Flipped Lifestyle podcast, we started looking at other podcasts and saying, well what are these other guru people doing, right? We know we can teach this, we've taught people in real life...how can we be different? Okay? Bryan: Right. Shane: And how can we resonate? Well, the first thing we said was we've got to both be on the podcast. There's nobody else that's a husband and wife team doing what we're doing, right? Or at least not doing it as good as we can do it, okay? So that was one differentiator. And then we said let's exclude solo-preneur, single people, 20-something millennials running around Thailand on 6 bucks a day. We don't want to talk to them. We want to talk to families, we want talk to - we can talk to single people, but we want them to have kids. We can talk to married people, but we want them to have kids. And we decided that we would talk to families, we would talk to adults who were raising children, who wanted to go out and start their own online business, right? Shane: We would talk to people who had real responsibilities, like keeping other people alive and making in a real 9-5 job. Bryan: Right. Shane: So if you can think what's my unfair advantage? I've been in a truck for 11 years. Who's a truck driver going to listen to? Another truck driver or some random other person who's trying to tell them to connect with nature? Right? Bryan: Right. Shane: Who's the guy working on the oil fields going to listen to? A guy that understands what he's dealing with? Your anxiety is different than our anxiety, right? Bryan: Right. Shane: So if you can really hone in and just...I'd love to see a picture of you on the About page in your truck - like someone takes a picture of you leaning out the window. And be like, hi I'm Bryan, I'm a truck driver, I understand you. Let's go on a hike. Right? When a guy sees that, he wants to opt in, right? Because that dude gets me. Shane: I think back when the...when I was looking for somebody to follow, I looked at a bunch of gurus. I ran through the Ravenscrafts and the Brian Masons and the Timothy Ferris's and Gary Vaynerchuck's and all this. But I connected with Pat Flynn of The Smart Passive Income podcast, for one reason, and one reason only. When I went to his blog, at the very top above the fold, was a picture of him holding his son who was the same age as mine. I didn't know Pat Flynn from Adam. I didn't know what he was talking about. I didn't know what his podcast was about. But I did know this: he had a son, and he had the same concerns I did about that little boy. And I needed to go and listen to him, right? Bryan: Right. Shane: So, I think that's what you're too broad right now is. It's just too leadership and male. I get it, it's every man who could ever possibly lead anyone. But that's not where we got to be at. Does that make sense? Jocelyn: Yeah. And we've said if you're targeting everyone you target no one. Bryan: No one. Yeah. All right. And so, I can see. Is blue collar at this moment still too broad? Shane: Not necessarily. Usually it works better when you start really targeted. Truck driver's still pretty narrow. You don't want to also exclude people, right? Blue collar makes sense because you could say something like the blue collar man has a different kind of stress, a different type of anxiety than business people do. You know, we're out and we're doing physical things that could kill us. You know what I'm saying? We're risking our lives every day to make industry move, right? When I pull the lever on that thing of sand, if I'm in the way, whatever. If you're working on a car, you could break your hand or cut yourself, or whatever. You're constantly on call, you never know when you're going to be needed. There's just a different way to present that, but a lot of blue collar people can totally relate to that. Shane: Like a mechanic, from an oil field worker, from a truck driver, from a logger, from a whatever is going to be able to understand what you're talking about. Jocelyn: And just remember that you don't have to necessarily use that in your language. And what I mean by that is, Shane and I, on our website, we don't say we only target families and people with children. We don't explicitly say that, we just put pictures of ourselves with our kids. Do people follow us who don't have kids? Yeah. And that's okay. But, in our minds, we're marketing to the people who are people - parents - with children. Shane: Yeah, and you could also say like - it says Reconnecting Leaders to Nature. That's cool, but what if it just said - what if it said this: The Relaxed Male. Reconnecting Working Men to Nature. Jocelyn: Yes. And that's what I was going to say is that you can use your language to allude to that without explicitly saying that, if that makes sense. Shane: Any person that's working could consider themselves a working man. But we all know that stereotypically, when you hear about a working man, you're talking about a blue collared guy going out and using his hands and doing stuff like that, right? Bryan: Right. Okay. Jocelyn: So does that make sense and fit the direction you think you're going? Bryan: Yes, it helps out tremendously. I had a little adjustment made last week with the mastermind group that I'm with. They were pointing out that I was being even more broad with one of the lead magnets, one of the opt in forms that I had on the site. I wasn't even mentioning men, it was self-coaching tools for a better life. And it's like, what does that even mean really, and who's that supposed to really attract to. So, they were like, well, you're about guys so why don't you start incorporating guys into that. So from here, yeah, I can see just nudge that down even granular. Shane: Yeah, right here it says: 14 of the Best Morning Routines. And it's just a name and thing, right? Bryan: Right. Shane: But what if that said - forget 14 - what if it said The Best Morning Routine For Working Men. No way they don't know it's them. You know what I'm saying? Shane: And you got this other opt in, I'm looking through your site, and it says Get Four Self-Coaching Tools to Beat Anxiety. What if that said Working Men Experience a Different Kind of Anxiety...and then the sub-heading said Get Four Self-Coaching Tools to Help the Working Man Beat Anxiety, or something like that. Bryan: Oh okay. Shane: You know what I'm saying? We can grammarize this is a little bit better later on. Right now we're just trying to get the mud on the wall. So. And your pictures. On this picture. I'm looking at your above the fold hero image. It's this beautiful picture of a tent sitting on a side of a lake looking down into a valley. I don't even know where that is. But it's gorgeous. Shane: But what if that was actually a truck driving down the road... Jocelyn: This needs to be...the About page needs to be a picture of you driving your truck. Shane: For sure. And even your front images, if it was like a truck - a huge open cinematography spread of a truck going down the road, but it was driving through the mountain of Colorado. So kind of tied in this image of truckery and cars and going down the road, but into nature or something like that. There's just a... Shane: And then instead of this picture of the tent that you've got on one scroll down, that could be a picture of people working in an oil field. And we could - about 50% of your images are nature, and about 50% of them are what we would consider blue collar jobs. Bryan: Okay. Shane: Truckers, miners, whatever. Bryan: Okay, got you there, yeah. Shane: And imagine then how much easier it would be to sell this thing. Hey guys, I'm Bryan. I'm a working man. I drive a truck. I know what you go through on a daily basis. I've been doing this for over a decade, and I know that you're job, while it's paying the bills and you're taking care of your family, you're doing a great job, but you're stressed, you've got a lot of anxiety. You're having trouble managing your working job and your life with your family. Well, I've started mentoring people in the Relaxed Male Coaching program, whatever...and I'm going to tell you how, on a daily basis, to get rid of the anxiety, get rid of all that stress, and I'm going to make sure that, not only can you go do your job that you love to do, but you can come home and be with your family. You can come home and go out into nature and be there with yourself so that you're a balanced working man, or something like that. Shane: That'd be an awesome name for it - The Balanced Working Man, or something like that. Have a guy standing up on top of an oil rig or something like that. But by niching down and really communicating who you're talking to, your blog posts are going to get more traffic. Those posts are going to get more opt ins, and you're going to have a much clearer picture of what you want to teach people. Does that makes sense? Bryan: I'm seeing that, yes sir. Shane: Does that clarify maybe how you could actually even teach your mentors in your coaching program? Bryan: I think it helps at least give me a better direction on how to point them to the...I realize how scattered I am with the information, and I'm just kind of talking too broad of an audience. So I definitely see where, if I was to just take that and just squeeze it down to even blue collared, ah, heck I could even do for the oil fields. I mean that would... Shane: Oh, that's a huge industry. Natural gas, oil, truck. That's the truckers, the drillers, the unloaders, the loaders, everybody. Jocelyn: I can even... Bryan: Precisely. Jocelyn: ...see this maybe going into - you could sell to corporate. To companies. Shane: Oh gosh, that would be huge. Make a deal with a company. Jocelyn: Yeah, maybe they want their workers to have a better quality of life, and you could market to them. Shane: Oh wow, that's really good. Really, really good. Bryan: Okay. Jocelyn: Okay Bryan, I think some really good stuff has come out of this conversation today, and I can't wait to see where you take this. Jocelyn: We always ask our guests before we go what is one thing that you plan to do in the next day or so based on what we talked about on this call. Bryan: Well, that is definitely going to be niching all the way down. I think I'm either going to focus in on the oil field angle a lot more. Get the language changed, and start just making sure that I have that particular guy in mind whenever I start re-writing some of the sales pages and things like that. Shane: And also, as you're - you've got coaching and mentoring down there - you could really focus hard on your product. Because it'll help you when you blog. If you know what that coaching and program's going to look like and you know what that happens, you know what you're pointing your stuff to to get something sold, it's going to make it a lot easier to write opt-ins, a lot easier to write blog posts, and it's going to make a lot of difference. Okay? Bryan: Okay. Shane: All right guys, that wraps up another great conversation with one of our Flip Your Life community members. It is awesome to see someone get focused on their idea, because with great focus on your idea, that's what leads to an awesome product. That's what leads to an amazing platform, and that's what leads to making money online and replacing your income so that you can quit your job and live the life you want. Shane: We would love to help you inside of our Flip Your Life community. All you have to do learn more about the community is go to flippedlifestyle.com/flipyourlife. You can read about all the amazing courses that we have inside to guide you through the process of starting, building, and growing your own online business. You can check out all of the amazing forums with our community of hundreds of family-focused entrepreneurs from around the world to rally around you and support you in your dreams. And of course, me and Jocelyn will be in there right with you all along the way. Shane: So go to flippedlifestyle.com/flipyourlife and check out the community today. Shane: We would also love to meet you live and in person in Lexington, Kentucky on September 19-21 at Flip Your Life Live. This is our Flip Your Life family reunion. It is our conference that we hold for all of our listeners of the Flipped Lifestyle podcast, and everybody that's a part of our Flip Your Life community. We would love to see you in Lexington, and you can get your ticket now at flippedlifestyle.com/live - that's L-I-V-E. Shane: But you want to hurry, because we are almost sold out and tickets will not be sold after August 30th. So you've got to get your ticket right now if you're going to get one. We only have a few left. It's in the teens, guys. Those seats are going to fill up, and we're not adding anymore chairs inside of the venue. Shane: And guess what? We are not doing this event in 2020. This is your last chance to come to Flip Your Life Live, the big conference that we've been holding for the past couple of years for our Flip Your Life community and Flipped Lifestyle podcast listeners. So go to flippedlifestyle/live right now so that you can get your tickets before they sell out. Shane: All right guys, that is all the time that we have for today. But before we go, we're super excited because Bryan has a Bible verse that he wants to share with you guys. Jocelyn and I get a lot of our inspiration and motivation from the Bible for our business and our life, and we love it when our guests have a verse that they want to share with everybody. So Bryan, take it away. Bryan: All right, my Bible verse is Isaiah 41:10 and it reads: So do not fear, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Bryan: Just completely dig that verse, because if you're ever feeling overwhelmed, you know that you don't have to live a life in fear. And fear is one of the big things that I like to talk about on my site itself, but there's always something you can use from God - He will actually help you out - you don't have to live a life of fear and worry that you're going to mess something up, because God's there to actually help you out. Shane: Whoo! That was a great Bible verse from Bryan. I love anytime the Bible says do not fear. We talk about this all the time with our kids. The Bible says do not fear or some permutation of that phrase like 365 times. The Bible gave us a do not fear quote for ever single day of the year, ya'll. Shane: So go out there in a fearless way. Don't be afraid to pursue and chase your dreams. There's nothing to be afraid of, there's everything to gain. You just got to take action and go get it done. Shane: That's all we've got for today ya'll, so until next time, get out there, take action, and do whatever it takes to flip your life. We'll see you then. Jocelyn: Bye. Links and resources mentioned on today's show: Bryan's Website Flip Your Life LIVE 2019 Tickets & Registration Information Flip Your Life community PROLIFIC Monthly Enjoy the podcast; we hope it inspires you to explore what's possible for your family! Join the Flip Your Life Community NOW for as little as $19 per month! https://flippedlifestyle.com/flipyourlife

In today's episode, we help a truck driver start an online business. FULL TRANSCRIPT Jocelyn: Hey, y'all. On today's podcast, we help a truck driver start an online business. Shane: Welcome to the Flipped Lifestyle Podcast where life always comes before work. We're your host, Shane and Jocelyn Sams. We're a real family that figured out how to make our entire living online, and now we help other families do the same. Are you ready to flip your life? All right, lets get started. Shane: What's going on everybody? Welcome back to the Flipped Lifestyle podcast. It is great to be back with you again today. We are super excited to have another member of the Flip Your Life community on the show, so that we can help them find their idea, start, build, and grow their own online business, just like we have, and just like hundreds of other people have in the Flip Your Life community. Shane: Super excited to welcome our guest today, Bryan Goodwin. Bryan, welcome to the Flipped Lifestyle Podcast. Bryan: Hey guys. I appreciate y'all having me on here today. Shane: I think this is a first Bryan because ... we're going to get into your story in just a second. Bryan is a truck driver, and we are actually recording this podcast, he is in his truck on the side of the road right now. Right? Jocelyn: Not driving. Shane: Not driving, he's not driving, but this is the first time I think anyone has ever recorded a podcast with us inside of a semi truck, so I'm pretty excited about that. Bryan: Well, actually I've heard just about all y'all's episodes, so its ... I think yeah the first one y'all had someone that was a truck driver or is a truck driver. No, there's a truck driver in the forums. Shane: That's right. There is. There is. I remember that podcast, but they were not actually in their truck. Bryan: Yeah, they weren't actually in the truck. Shane: That's where you took it to the next level, Bryan. You took it to the next level. Bryan: Glad I could do that. Jocelyn: I'm just curious. I know you spend a lot of time on the road. I'm sure that you listen to a lot of different stuff, but how did you discover us, and have you listened to everything? Bryan: How I actually found you, I'm not a hundred percent. I believe what happened is I was just looking for a business podcast. I was looking for some more information on businesses, because I listen to the (inaudible) and things like that. Y'all's came up, and so I decided let's give them a try, started listening and, I don't know, got all the way up to one particular episode, and I was like, "All right. Well, they've got me pretty much sold. I've got this, but I want to see what else I can learn," so I jumped all the way back and started with episode one, which I actually had to manually download the first 30 because y'all had already cleared the 300 mark- Shane: Right. Bryan: -by that time, so I had to manually download the first 30 and then go from 30 all the way up to what I had listened to at that time. Shane: Love it. Bryan: I've listened to a whole lot of Shane and Jocelyn Sams. Jocelyn: Bless your heart. Shane: Right, bless your heart, man. I know we had you hooked here because I've heard you say y'all about five times, and as soon as you heard that hey y'all at the beginning of the show, you're like, "Wait a minute." Bryan: Oh, yeah. Shane: These are my people. These are my peeps. I've found my people. Jocelyn: Yeah, so I was curious about that because I know you spend a lot of time driving, and you probably spend a lot of time listening. Shane: Well, I'm glad that we have kept you company on many miles of road. Bryan: Yep. Shane: Hopefully, we can help you take everything to the next level, what you're doing. Maybe someday we'll get you off the road. Bryan: Well, that's the objective. Jocelyn: All right, so you are a driver right now, and tell us just a little bit more about your life,

In this episode, we are speaking with Bryan Goodwin, author of the upcoming publication from McREL, Out of Curiosity: Restoring the Power of Hungry Minds for Better Schools, Workplaces and Lives. This is Bryan’s third appearance on the podcast. You may remember Brian from Season 2: Episode 37 when we spoke about a number of McREL resources; and most recently Season…Read more

In this episode, we are speaking with Bryan Goodwin from McREL International. You may remember our conversation with Bryan back in Season 2, Episode 37 when we discussed school transformation and several of McRel’s resources and white papers. In today’s episode we are going to discuss some of McREL’s latest work – Curiosity Works. Bryan is President & CEO at…Read more

This is part 2 of a 2 part series with Capt. Bryan Goodwin of Native Guide Service and DownEast Outdoors.  Capt Bryan has been fishing the waters of the Southern Outer Banks of NC for over 30 years.  He is an 8th Generation waterman and guide, specializing in light tackle fishing.  In this episode, we shift focus from Bryan's guide service, over to DownEast Outdoors TV, his television show.  Bryan has some really good stuff coming up and we are excited to share it with everyone!  Be sure to check out both of his websites www.nativeguide.net and www.deotv.net. 

This is part 1 of a 2 part series with Capt. Bryan Goodwin of Native Guide Service and DownEast Outdoors.  Capt Bryan has been fishing the waters of the Southern Outer Banks of NC for over 30 years.  He is an 8th Generation waterman and guide, specializing in light tackle fishing.  In this episode, Bryan gives us some insight into his guide business and fishing in his home waters.  Part 2 will shift focus over to his TV show DownEast Outdoors.  Be sure to check out both of his websites www.nativeguide.net and www.deotv.net. 

Join us as we discuss practical ways school leaders can better manage individual resistance to change. Follow: @mjanatovich @bryanrgoodwin @ASCD @bamradionetwork Bryan Goodwin, a former teacher and journalist, is the president and CEO of McREL International, a Denver-based nonprofit education research and development organization. Goodwin's books include Balanced Leadership for Powerful Learning and The 12 Touchstones of Good Teaching. He writes a monthly research column for Educational Leadership magazine. Host Mike Janatovich is the assistant principal of Harmon Middle School in Aurora, OH, and an ASCD Emerging Leader.

Join us as we discuss practical ways school leaders can better manage individual resistance to change. Follow: @mjanatovich @bryanrgoodwin @ASCD @bamradionetwork Bryan Goodwin, a former teacher and journalist, is the president and CEO of McREL International, a Denver-based nonprofit education research and development organization. Goodwin's books include Balanced Leadership for Powerful Learning and The 12 Touchstones of Good Teaching. He writes a monthly research column for Educational Leadership magazine. Host Mike Janatovich is the assistant principal of Harmon Middle School in Aurora, OH, and an ASCD Emerging Leader.

This Year SOP Listeners said the following list was "Their Favorite Podcast" This means if they could only listen to ONE, this would be the show. Here they are in alphabetical order 4:00 Adam Carolla Show - http://adamcarolla.com/ 4:42 Bloodround - http://www.bloodround.com 6:58  Freakonomincs - http://www.freakonomics.com 9:18 Hollywood Bable On - http://www.smodcast.com/channel/hollywoodbabbleon 11:35 Kate’s Take - http://www.eofire.com/audio-blog/ 12:34 Medication Oasis - http://www.meditationoasis.com/podcast/ 13:25 Mighty Blue on the Appalachian Trail - http://mightyblueontheat.com/ 14:23 Mike Row’s The Way I Heard It - http://mikerowe.com/podcast/ 15:54 Mixergy - https://mixergy.com 17:00   Mysterious Universe - mysteriousuniverse.org 17:54 Mystery Show - https://gimletmedia.com/mystery-show/ 20:11 Old Pre-Meds - http://www.oldpremeds.org/ 22:10 Radio Labyrinth - https://audioboom.com/channel/radio-labyrinth 23:12 RED Podcast - http://www.redpodcast.com 24:25 Retired Exited - http://www.retiredexcited.com 25:30 Rock Your Retirement - http://www.rockyourretirement.com 27:25 She Podcasts - http://www.shepdocasts.com 29:20 Spawn On Me - http://spawnon.me/ 30:47 Stacking Benjamins - http://www.stackingbenjamins.com 35:42 Stuff You Missed in History - http://www.missedinhistory.com/ 39:05 Ted Radio Hour - http://www.npr.org/programs/ted-radio-hour/ 40:17 The Audacity to Podcast - http://www.theaudacitytopodcast.com 41:25 The School of Podcasting - http://www.schoolofpodcasting.com 42:50 Trecks in Sci -Fi - http://treksinscifi.com/podcast_notes/ 46:55 Tumble - http://www.sciencepodcastforkids.com/   Contribtuors Amanda from the Great Beer Adventure greatbeeradventure.com Brian Entzminger, host of the Engaging Missions Shows at http://www.engagingmissions.com Bryan Goodwin with http://www.goodwinsocialmedia.com Cale Nelson from www.hamradio360.com Chris Hache of the Noshing Nova Scotians podcast http://www.chrishache.com Glenn “The Geek” Hebert of the Horse Radio Network http:/www.horseradionetwork.com Hall of Fame Podcaster Danny Pena, founder and co-host of Gamertag Radio (http://www.gamertagradio.com Henry Shapiro of the Retired Excited podcast http://www.retiredexcited.com Jason Bryant from Mat Talk Online http://www.MatTalkOnline.com Jason Norris of Podcast Local from On the Go FM. http://www.podcastlocal.com Jayson Sacco of the Outdoor Adventures with Jason http://www.oawjs.com Jen is one of the founding co-hosts of the Anomaly Podcast, anomalypodcast.com Jonathan Christopher, host of the Career Eden Podcast http://careereden.libsyn.com/podcast Jonathan Messenger of The Alien Adventure of Finn Caspian show FinnCaspian.com Kathe Kline of the “Rock Your Retirement" podcast. rockyourretirement.com Katie Krimitsos of Biz Women Rock http://www.bizwomenrock.com Kim Krajci of Toast Masters 101, http://www.toastmasters101.net Lee Silverstein of the Colon Cancer Podcast http://thecoloncancerpodcast.com/) Randy Cantrell who is the host of the Grow Great podcast http://www.GrowGreat.com Rob Kerns of Living the Vet Life podcast http://www.livingthevetlife.com Stargate Pioneer of the Gonna Geek Network gonnageek.com Steve Stewart at You can find Steve at SteveStewart.me. Tyler Sheff of the Cash Flow Guys podcast http://www.cashflowguys.com Zen Runner of www.slowrunnersclub.com HOMEWORK What are you top podcasting pet peeves? Go to www.schoolofpodcasting.com/contact and let me know READY TO START PODCASTING Go to www.theschoolofpodcasting.com

This week on the PointClickFish.com Saltwater Fishing Radio – The North Carolina Aquarium at Pine Knoll Shores – Get Hooked Fishing School. Join us LIVE as we talk with Captain Gary Dubiel – Spec Fever Guide Service, Captain Bryan Goodwin – Native Guide Service, Brad Whitatker – Temple Fork Outfitters. PINE KNOLL SHORES, NC  – Reel in some insider tips and new techniques with the Get Hooked Fishing School at the North Carolina Aquarium at Pine Knoll Shores. The one-day course on Saturday, March 8, features presentations from the pros on many topics and types of fishing. Participants can choose up to four sessions from the schedule that includes the following:     Shallow-water sight casting - John Mauser     Fishing near shore structure - Jeff Cronk     Striped bass on the Roanoke and Pamlico rivers – Mitchel Blake     Redfish and speckled trout - Rennie Clark     Trophy red drum on the Neuse River - Gary Dubiel     Spring fishing for cobia and Hatteras blues – Bryan Goodwin     Offshore bottom fishing - Chesson O’Briant     Offshore trolling – Mark Henderson In addition, watch for mini-sessions such as flounder gigging and bow fishing by Dale Collins and a Dr. Bogus presentation on surf fishing with artificial bait; plus rigging and knot-tying stations, informal Q&A sessions, and fly-tying demonstrations by Cape Lookout Fly Fishers and Triangle Fly Fishers.