We Gauge Cage

I bet you thought 100 Episodes was enough, didn't ya? Didn't ya? Did you not?!?Welp, Nic keeps making 'em, so we'll keep gauging 'em. Brock and Brian catch each other up with their movements over the past few months, bowel and otherwise. They pay homage to the in-movie diner with a food draft. And then they talk about this friggin' movie, the cat-and-mouse, two-hander, bottle film that was 2023's Sympathy for the Devil. Now pick a card, and don't interrupt us. It's vewy wude. Stay tuned for future regular episodes as we plan to watch and gauge the Shrekiverse while waiting for Nic's next batch of films. 

You asked for it*! A fantastical event a century (worth of episodes) in the making. *You likely didn't.For the 100th episode, the boys reminisce, they look ahead, and they break down the 2023 horror-action-comedy Renfield. Along the way, they craft the perfect Nic-enstein's Monster's Monster. They answer the important questions: Did it suck? Did Nic get better at playing a vampire this time around? Would Dracula win in a fight against Peter Loew (Vampire's Kiss. I'll feed ya, baby birds.)? All of these questions are answered and then some. Thank you, loyal listeners. We couldn't have done this without you*!*We probably would have still done this, without you...

New Episode. Old Way?!?It's been a while. A long long while. But the blame must be placed solely on Nic Cage and his various production companies (we're looking at you, Saban...) for the lack of content by which to gauge Nic. Anywho, Brock and Brian dusted off their dusters, grew out their disgusting mustaches, and holstered their six shooters to discuss Nic's foray into Western fare. How did they fare? Tune in and find out as the boys catch up, discuss a new addition to the Ambrosii menagerie, and draft everybody's most-debated topic: Vegetables. Potayto. Potahto. Let's call the whole thing off!

You asked (?) for it, you got it! Brock and Brian knocked the dust off of their microphones and recorded an episode by the people, for the people. While waiting for Nic's projects to get edited, the boys dug back into a 1992 Saturday Night Live episode that Nic hosted. Before that, they discuss their boys' night out, and draft Favorite Fruits!What a treat!

Look, folks. If it's good enough for Nick Cage's and Javi's Top 3, it has to be good enough for this podcast to watch whilst waiting for the next Nicolas Cage movie, right? Right?!?!?Live and in person and alive and too personal, Brock joins Brian for a recap of the week that was, and the movie that was-n't....that....great. That film was 2017's Paddington 2. The boys answer the tough questions: -Did they need to watch the first movie? -Did they fall in love with this CGI bear?-Does this film make them want to be better men?-Was this seriously Hugh Grant's favorite movie to film?-Did this movie need more Nic Cage?Listen, up, you silly little bears. This is We Gauge Cage's Movie Tastes!

Looks like we made it. Look how far we've come, my babies. That's right. You didn't really think we could quit the podcast without holding out for the Nic Cage film in which Nicolas Cage plays Nick Cage in a film about Nicolas Cage, did you?!?On this episode, Brian and Brock discuss their opening-weekend, theatre-going experience to watch the meta movie The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent. Before that, the lads recap their Easter weekends, and they provide their lists of the Five Essential Nic Cage Movies to Watch Before Seeing The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent. It's no masterpiece on par with Paddington 2....but it'll get you where you're going, and meet you where you're at. Bon voyage!

Howdy ho, neighborinos. 'Tis been quite the little while. But when your podcast is built upon a single actor's resume, and the well runneth dry between releases, then you have some gaps. Brock and Brian catch up: on Disneyworld, on DeezNutsWorld, on their families and their neighbors and all sorts of fun stuff. They have a draft of the Best Fictional Mommies. And then they rewatched 2017's "Mom and Dad," the manic horror/comedy from the guy behind "Crank" and "Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance." The boys pick sides as to who came out on top: Team Mom or Team Dad. Last time Brock and Brian (and their wives) watched this movie, there were no children to speak of. Will they identify more with the patricidal urges, or the Blue Bonnet waistline, this time around? It's a fun one. And admit it - you missed us!

The boys are back at it. Did you think that last episode had too much ball talk? Did you really expect that to change? If so, then you haven't been paying attention to this podcast. On this episode, the boys talk more balls. Big and beautiful. They talk high fashion. Then, they draft Vacation Spots (with quite possibly one of the worst picks in any draft they're ever done). After all the banter, things get rocky and heated as they dust off Brian's Top 6 (!) Nic Cage movie - World Trade Center - and we get to see if Brian can change Brock's mind in convincing him that this is a high-quality film, and not just a corny, heavy-handed mess. Let the games begin!

How can they keep getting away with this?Brock and Brian hop on the microphone to settle old scores (not THAT "Score to Settle"). They recap the weekend that followed the last episode. Virtual Golf. Hottest Wings. Axe Throwing. Shenanigans!Then the boys get wicked and cast aspersions with their "Movie Roles to Replace with Nic Cage" Draft. It gets...interesting. To finish it off, the hosts waste time whilst waiting for The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent, and they take a look back at some of Nic's older films about which they were at the most odds. This week is Honeymoon in Vegas (1992), a rom-com that Brock enjoyed and Brian despised. Will either one budge after a rewatch? Tune in to find out!

What the heck are Nic's Bits, you ask?Well, Brock and Brian have run out of the important movies starring Nicolas Cage, so they take a trip down memory lane, back to where his career started. Brian cultivated each and every small appearance of Nic's over the many, many, many....many years. We watched each and every appearance. We gauged him. Before all of that, the boys wax poetic whilst staring into each other's eyes and holding hands, they talk friendship, and they rank the 12 films/projects that they have watched since they prematurely ended the podcast's initial run. Enjoyeeeeeeeeeee! 

Ho Ho Ho-ly Pig, it's "Pig" Week!That's right, you unruly swine. Brock and Brian watched Pig. Finally. Nic Cage's highest-rated film to date. It stood atop the Rotten Tomato charts at 100% for many, many weeks. All roads lead to Pig, ladies and gentlepigs. All roads lead to Pig. Before that, the boys talk Christmas and Barf (naturally). Then they kneel and pay their respects to Robin Feld's name by hosting an epicurious and delectable draft of....Meats. 

Happy Birthday to the Ground! (and to Brock)And what better way to celebrate his birthday than to gift the world with his innermost thoughts? Thoughts like, "Huh?" or "Why?" or "What the Ungodly F***?!?" - which happened while watching this latest travesty of a film.Before we get into this...post-apocalyptic, Western, Kabuki, horror, steampunk, action disaster called "Prisoners of the Ghostland," the boys talk postpartum, they trade hot tips on Christmas Decor, and they draft their ultimate Torture Playlists. Enjoy!

Wowzers in the trousers, if you know what I mean. Brock and Brian went a little long. Went a LIT-TLE long on this one. They talk Tay Tay, we spill ALL the neighborhood tea...but most importantly, we talk at lengths about Brock's new haircut....and then Brian gives a little/tiny/blink-and-you'll-miss-it blurb of breaking news whatever let's move on! We have a real crotchety, grumpy-gills Draft! Brock and Brian watched Willy's Wonderland this week. It had potential! It fit the description of "Man vs. Machine." It....didn't have much else going for it. Enjoy!

It's not a trick, ladies and gentlemen. Treat yourselves to a shallow dive into the wild world of Nic Cage's hosting work. In the bowels of 2021, Netflix released a 6-episode docuseries about....you guessed it...the History of Swear Words, hosted by Nicolas Cage. Brian and Brock chose to watch 3 episodes, focused on F**K, SH*T, and P*SSY. Clearly, the classiest and cleanest episode of this entire podcast's history ensues. Before that, they talk Halloweeeeeeeen!!!! Mostly. Indulge!

Finally. The Croods. We made it, ladies and gentlemen! We've reached the top. This movie was sorely needed after last episode's sorry fiasco excuse for a film. Brian and Brock grabbed their toddlers and watched The Croods: A New Age, the sequel we didn't even know we wanted. Before that, the boys talk about *shocker* poop. They draft their favorite Non-Disney/Pixar Animated Movies. And they express their love for one another. Enjoy! Or don't. I'm not your dad. 

This movie is that 2020 was...An under-produced, lassez-faire, "Who gives a care," cluster**** of a film. Make no mistake: This is not the least favorite Nic Cage film that the boys have ever watched. But this is the WORST film that the boys have ever watched. Before jumping into this floppy, flaccid martial art film, Brock and Brian talk Pumpkin Patchin' and Apple Pickin' (tis the season), and they even the playing field by drafting Attractive Celebrity Men over the Age of 51 that Can Still Get It!Enjoy. 

It's a wild one. Brock and Brian discuss the finer points of owning a newly built, fully-haunted house. They zig where they should've zagged and introduce an impromptu draft topic, appreciating beauty in its...mature form.And then the boys try to make heads or tails of this southern, periodic Confuser (as opposed to Thriller). Enjoy.

Oh, ladies and gentlemen. This ain't your daddy's color out of space...That's right. The COoS is Loose!Brian and Brock fell into the proverbial (literal?) well of body horror and Cthuluian mindfluffery that is the latest film adaptation of H.P. Lovecraft's lovechild: The Color Out of Space. Before that, they draft mash-ups. Food mash-ups. Food combinations. Combinations of food. (Or at least one of them does...)Now feed the goddamn alpacas!

Are you ready to get wild? Are you ready to get feral? Are you ready to get...Primal?That's right. Brock and Brian watched the 2019 hunter/huntee/hunted thriller Primal. Are there guns? Yep. Does Nic attempt to speak a little Spanish? You betcha. Does someone get shot in the shoulder? Aww Hell Yeah!Before all that, Brian gives us the lowdown on new home ownership, and makes yard work sound real horny. The boys bask in the comedic stylings of their daughters. And then they hold the most important draft yet, Animorph-style! "She's not a man-eater, she's We Gauge Cage!"

It IS a Kill Chain!On this episode, Brian and Brock talk poop. It's always poop. They shoop. They boop. They scoop the loop. They draft Olympic Sports That They Enjoy To Watching. And then they watch Kill Chain (2019), a gangster/hitman/assassin flick that is as confusing as it is forgettable. They can only get better from here, right, folks?!?Let's get into it. 

You asked for it, you got it. Brock and Brian plop down and Pig out. They drop down and Dig out. They have a super-duper draft. And then they talk through some of the finer points of the cocaine game in Nic Cage's 2019 drug-running....(I'm really struggling to find a word that isn't "thriller") movie-that-happened, "Running With the Devil."Let's get after it. GLWYB

Some might even say that Brian and Brock had their own...score...to settle. Come on, gentleladies and even gentlermen! Admit it. You missed us!In a day that we thought would never come, your two favorite knucklehead co-hosts put aside their differences, plugged in their microphones, and decided to watch another Nic Cage "Castle-Period" film in an effort to decide whether he has the capacity to surprise us anymore. We're watching the rest of Nic's filmography from 2019 to present day and beyond...culminating in what is no doubt his greatest film & role to date: Pig. All roads lead to Pig. But first, we have to watch about a dozen (!) films made in the last two years (It would seem that the global pandemic only served to make Nic STRONGER somehow...).On this episode, Brian and Brock catch up with each other like old friends, drop some juicy hot goss, discuss the new (and hopefully improved?) format, play a little game, and discuss Nic's 2019 th-rill-er (?) "A Score To Settle."But enough about me. Let's get into it about you!P.S. Apologies apologies abound for the first 20 minutes or so of audio quality. Brian's computer is now a two-years-older P.O.S. than it was before. We did the best we could. 

I gauge Cage. You gauge Cage. She gauge Cage. 'Cause We Gauge Cage, hey!This is it. We're officially done. Finished. Game over, man. Game over. There are no more movies to watch. No more Cage to critique. No more gauging to be gathered. Pack up your notebooks and pencils, ladies and gentlemen. We're through. You know, they really did it. They said they were going to do it, and they did it! To celebrate, the boys leave you with their longest episode yet. No plots, just plops. No notes, just nopes. No...synopsis? Just...synth pop, sis? (I lost the thread.) Anyway, it's pure, unadulterated banter. Some say this is what the podcast should have been from the start. We say, "Hey, screw you. Go start your own podcast if you think it's so easy!"Anywho, the boys deliver their personal rankings of Nicolas Cage's entire filmography. That'll show IMDb who's boss! They play some final games. Take some final shots. Put some final disgusting foodstuffs in their mouths. Make some final wet mouth sounds. They hand out a few awards. First to Nic, then to the podcast itself. Because nothing is sexier than self-indulgence. They deliver their final thoughts and reflections on the past year and half of their lives, devoted to this not-good-yet-highly-prolific-broke-ass film actor. And with all that said, we thank you, our audience. Our loyal listeners. Our biggest fans. We could not, and truthfully WOULD NOT, have done this without you. Thank you, wherever you are. For the final time...Let's. Get. Into. It.You can still find us on our Social Media:Twitter: @WeGaugeCagePodInstagram: @WeGaugeCageAnd fuck it. What do you have to lose? What do WE have to lose?!? If you have any ounce of compassion in your hearts, you will rate and review us on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, Google Play, or wherever else you can find a ratings system. For every review that gets left unposted, Brian will think really hard about NOT petting his puppies. So please. Do it for the puppies, you monsters. I love you all. This has been a true pleasure. Kind of. Probably. I think.

Although we've come, to the end of the road. Still I can't let go. It's unnatural. You belong to me. I belong to you. Although we're done! No more watch-ing this chode! Still he's not good, no. It's just factual. He's just too crazy. But what can you do?You guys, we're doi-WE DID IT! We told you we were gonna do it, and we stuck to our guns, and we dug deep, and we (insert cliche inspirational bullshit here), and we crossed the finish line, with flair! The boys that you know and love sat down, cozied up, and settled in for their final movie watch of the podcast: Nic Cage's best-rated movie, 2010's "Kick-Ass." From worst. To best. According to your IMDB ratings. We watched them. We gauged him. We each threatened to quit a few times. We became better friends, better lovers, better film critics. We became dads. We ate a few things. Drank a few more. Rawdawgged as much as we could rawdawg. All on the mic, of course. And we had a few laughs along the way. We get one last peek inside the boys' Father's Day weekends, we get a cooking lesson from a couple of professional-Guy Fieri's-in-training, and we share a harrowing tale of a boys' poker night gone wild. For those of you that have been with us since the beginning, 80 episodes deep...Thank you. We literally would not have done this without you. ***We will have one more episode after this. A grand finale. A recap. A "Best of." So stay tuned!***And without further adieu, Let's. Get. Into. It. Finally find us on our Social Media, if you're so inclined, you fucking cowards (you won't!):Twitter: @WeGaugeCagePodInstagram: @WeGaugeCageAnd, as always, rate and review us on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, Google Play, or wherever else you can find a ratings system if you can or haven't already. Tell me how much you hate me. I can take it. I dare you.

Every rose has its thorns. Just like every night has its dawn. Just like every orchid...has a...has a guy who's like really obsessed with orchids, apparently. Every rose has its thoooooorrrrrrnnnnnsssss!!!How's it going, flower f*ckers? Oh, I'm sorry. No flower f*cking for you today? Well too darn bad! Because this is the flower f*cking episode!That's right! Everyone's favorite boys watched themselves the 2002 Nic Cage, Meryl Streep, and Chris Cooper-led dramatic, orchid-centric masterpiece "Adaptation." It was a doozy of a movie. Before that, the boys wax poetic about the weekend last. They reminisce about their time spent together. They start the apology tour: for the intro song, for getting so drunk, and for the morning after. Let it be known: We are sorry. We're almost at the end, ladies and gentlemen. Every Nic Cage film worth watching - and all the films that aren't worth watching. From Left Behind to Kick-Ass. We're really doing it. We're going to miss you. We love you. Good luck...with your balls. Find us on our Social Media, if you're so inclined:Twitter: @WeGaugeCagePodInstagram: @WeGaugeCageAnd, as always, rate and review us on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, Google Play, or wherever else you can find a ratings system if you can or haven't already.

When there's someone strange, in your neighborhood? Who you gonna call? WeGaugeCage!...I ain't afraid of Nic Cage!*You guys...singing Taking Back Sunday is hard. Okay? Okay?!? It took us five takes. We're just two guys!So...if you can make it through the first three minutes of this one, then you'll find out that...it happened again. Your boys (and mine) met up together in person in Arizona, fresh off of watching Nic Cage's drunken 1995 romp "Leaving Las Vegas," and they decided to record a podcast about it. H-h-holy buckets, folks. To be honest, who even knows what the rest of this episode entails? We're PRETTY sure we talked about the movie. But it started with a little harmless bottle of tequila, a few dad jokes, and it ended with Brian passing out early and Brock making drunk dials to Amanda Flannery-Hoppa and throwing up multiple times the next day. You do the math!I would say, "Enjoy!" but...truthfully, it's in your hands now. Find us on our Social Media, if you're so inclined:Twitter: @WeGaugeCagePodInstagram: @WeGaugeCageAnd, as always, rate and review us on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, Google Play, or wherever else you can find a ratings system if you can or haven't already.*That's a lie.

War! Huh! Yeah? What is it good for? Apparently driving backdoor illegal arms deals so that Nic can play a character named Yuri. Or absolutely nothing. Or at least that's what the 2005 film Lord of War starring Nicolas Cage and Jared Leto would have us believe. It's a voice-over film about gun-runnin'. Hoo-wee! Not much more to discuss. A perfect episode to discuss our beautiful, accomplished, prodigious daughters. To celebrate Charley's latest accomplishments. A perfect opportunity for Brock to talk about the other films he's seen recently, like Booksmart (recommend it!) and Aladdin (recommend it! Big Willy Style all in it!). And Brock keeps fartin' with the Nic Cage pillow!Let's rip into it. Find us on our Social Media, if you're so inclined:Twitter: @WeGaugeCagePodInstagram: @WeGaugeCageAnd, as always, rate and review us on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, Google Play, or wherever else you can find a ratings system if you can or haven't already.

I-i-i watched part of The Rock last ni-i-ight. And part of it the next day!They can't all be winners, ladies and gentlemen. But the real winners this week were our boys, because they got to complete the Nic Cage Action Triptych by watching The Rock. In the name of the Con-Air, the Face/Off, the Rock...Awww-yeah! Amiright?!? I think I'm right! You got Sean Connery. You got Ed Harris. You got the titular Rock. (Not THAT Rock. The Alcatraz Rock.) You wanted action? We got some action. And then also Nic Cage is a scientist. Again. Because that's something that...somebody thought would work?Anywho, before all that, the men talk about what it takes to be a grill master vs. a grill poser. They say hi to the fam. They wish a very, very special someone a happy birthday! They talk doughnuts. That's right! Nuts of dough! Deal with it! And they play tour guide through the lovely little town of Crandon, Wisconsin, USA. All of that in one episode?!? You betcha!Find us on our Social Media, if you're so inclined:Twitter: @WeGaugeCagePodInstagram: @WeGaugeCageAnd, as always, rate and review us on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, Google Play, or wherever else you can find a ratings system if you can or haven't already.

'Cause he's all in my head. I think about Nic over and over again. And I can't keep stop picturing you with him. And I can't take it. I can't shake it, no. I remember the day you recorded. I remember the last film you watched right in front of me. And that last film, this last week, was 1987's Coen Brothers classic comedy of errors "Raising Arizona." Holly Hunter, Nic Cage, a baby...Sounds like a recipe for some hijinks, if you ask me!Before all that, da boiz talk about day weekends. Brian gets real real personal. And Brock develops a problematic plan to fight back against robo-callers. Cheers, y'all!Find us on our Social Media, if you're so inclined:Twitter: @WeGaugeCagePodInstagram: @WeGaugeCageAnd, as always, rate and review us on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, Google Play, or wherever else you can find a ratings system if you can or haven't already.

Don't do those face waterfalls. Just stick to the same hugs and the kisses you're used to. I know that you're going to swap your faces and voices and all, but I think you're moving too fast...That's right, ladies and gentlemen! If the phrase "face waterfall" didn't give it away (or, you know, the title of the episode), the two lovable lads got to watch Nic Cage's 1997 smash hit "Face/Off." One Nic Cage (well at one point, there's actually technically two Nic Cages...look, it's only confusing if YOU make it confusing)! One John Travolta! One mind-bending, face-popping surgery! At least a dozen slow-motion mid-air shooting dives! Like, 20 doves! This movie has it all!Before all that, we talk about the drunken mess that the last episode turned out to be, we get a Gripe Sesh featuring everyone's favorite coworker, and we get a visit from the official third cohost of the podcast. Bon apetit, my little peaches. Find us on our Social Media, if you're so inclined:Twitter: @WeGaugeCagePodInstagram: @WeGaugeCageAnd, as always, rate and review us on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, Google Play, or wherever else you can find a ratings system if you can or haven't already.

Blame it on the juice. Got you feelin' loose. Blame it on the 'tron. Got you in the zone. Blame it on the a-a-a-a-a-alcohol. Blame it all on Nic Cage. He's the reason we're over 70 episodes deep, watching a surprisingly competent con man film from 2003 called "Matchstick Men." Nic takes a couple of behavioral disorders for a spin, accompanied by Sam Rockwell and an actress whom shall lovingly be referred to as "not-Egg." (Where my Arrested Development fans at?)Anywho, this one gets...wild. I mean. A little wild. Call it senioritis. Call it "phoning it in." (Though, in reality, it's more like "Skyping it in.") Call it getting drunk. Either way, the boys re-rank their latest ten films, they open their chests, rip out their still-beating hearts, and toss them on a platter for you all to enjoy, and they tell the infamous "Hershey" story. Woof. Find us on our Social Media, if you're so inclined:Twitter: @WeGaugeCagePodInstagram: @WeGaugeCageAnd, as always, rate and review us on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, Google Play, or wherever else you can find a ratings system if you can or haven't already.

You down with Matt Modine? Yeah, you know me. You down with Nic Cagey? Every last homie. You down with ol' Birdy? Yeah, you know me. Who down with this movie? All the homies!I'll be straight with ya, folks. This one got weird. And I don't mean like, "man attempting intercourse on a small bird" weird. But it got weird nonetheless. In perhaps the most incoherent and tangential attempt at a podcast to date, the boys scrounged together enough attention for Nic's 1984 VIETNAM WAR FILM "Birdy" that is totally about the Vietnam War and totally a war movie and not about anything else at all. For sure. Like, totally. Before, around, throughout, and after all that, the boys play a few games, have a few drafts, Brock stuffs his face (naturally), they talk fatherhood and take care of their daddy duties (and doodies), and one of the boys ends up baring far more than just his soul (but also that too. Probably.) Good luck!Find us on our Social Media, if you're so inclined:Twitter: @WeGaugeCagePodInstagram: @WeGaugeCageAnd, as always, rate and review us on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, Google Play, or wherever else you can find a ratings system if you can or haven't already.

Papa don't preach. We're in trouble deep. Papa don't preach. We've been losing sleep. But we've made up our minds. We're watching Nic's movie. Ooh-ooh we're going to watch this movie, ooOOooh....The boys are back! Did you miss them?!? Did you even know they were gone? Did you realize that it has been weeks since they've sat down and recorded last? Fresh off the heels of the worst possible movie that Nic has ever made, this week Brian and Brock got a palette cleanser in the 2013 animated movie "The Croods." A start-studded voice cast, beautiful visuals, and a tight plot? Just what the doctor ordered!Before all that, these Easter-stuffed sugar daddies have a little announcement to make....the moment you've all been waiting for...the culmination of weeks/months of build up...the declaration of the 100-Day Weight Loss Challenge Winner!!! Brock has some other minor news, the boys try to break their Raw Dawg record on the anniversary of the previous challenge, and they try to get a little sentimental.It's a fun one. Enjoy!Find us on Social Media, if you're so inclined:Twitter: @WeGaugeCageInstagram: @WeGaugeCagePodAnd Rate/Review us on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, or anywhere else you find us. Thank you!

Shot Wild at Heart! And David Lynch is to blame! He gives films a bad name...But seriously, folks. We've joked in the past about quitting the podcast. We've made false threats about hanging up our Nic Cage-watching boots and cashing in all of our good favors and riding off into the sunset as free men. We should have gotten out while the gettin' was good. Because Brock and Brian - wait, let me start over... - Because Brian FORCED Brock to scour the depths of the Dark Web for this absolutely rotten piece of avant-garbage excuse for an art crime film and watch it for this podcast. Because we love our fans? This one sucked, ladies and gentlemen. This one really sucked. And in case you may be thinking, "Oh, it can't possibly be that bad." - it was worse. Trust us. Anywho, before all that, the boys give a behind-the-scenes peak at how the sausage is made, they hear wedding bells for Nic (mazelt-oh wait it's annulled already!), and we check in on how Old Man Ambrosius is handling this newfangled technology in another exciting edition of Brian's Gripe Corner! Let's get into it! If you dare...Find us on our Social Media, if you're so inclined:Twitter: @WeGaugeCagePodInstagram: @WeGaugeCageAnd, as always, rate and review us on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, Google Play, or wherever else you can find a ratings system (You could always text. You never text anymore! And call your mother while you're at it. She'd love to hear from you.) if you can or haven't already.

Ah yes, the year 1987. "Walk Like An Egyptian" topped the charts, Ronald Reagan was president, and your two favorite podcast hosts were finally born after months of anticipation! Who would've guessed that over 30 years later they'd spend literally hundreds of hours analyzing every film of one Nicolas Cage, including the 1987 hit "Moonstruck," starring not only Nicolas Cage, but also a surprisingly good performance from Cher. But we're not here to gauge Cher, because, come on...that doesn't even rhyme. We're here to gauge Cage!But before we do, Brian takes a minute to go full Dad mode and complain about his new phone, we get a Baby Kircher update, Brock continues his pursuit of making Brian cry by trying to get him to watch the new Queer Eye TV show, and Brian ruins his beautiful podcasting voice by trying to pull off the perfect imitation of his coworker. Magnifico!Find us on Social Media, if you amore us:Twitter: @WeGaugeCagePodInstagram: @WeGaugeCageAnd rate and review us on the Apple Podcast App, Google Play, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasting fix. Ciao!

Uh wicky wild wild. Wicky wild wild. Wicky Red Rock West. Nic West. Desperado. Rough Rida. No you don’t want nada. None of this. Six gun in this. Nic Cage runnin’ this. But I’ll tell you what you DO want! You want to hear about the time Brian and Brock plopped down around the ol’ campfire and watched them some Red Rock West. Nic Cage, Lara Flynn Boyle, Dennis Hopper. A classic who-dunnit mix-em-up crime caper with guns and money and...cars with empty gas tanks, I guess? Before all that, let’s get one thing out of the way. This is the porn episode (not a sponsor). It’s NSFW. It’s NSFA, really. Good luck with this one. #NoShame Find us on Social Media, if you’re so inclined. Twitter: @WeGaugeCagePodInstagram: @WeGaugeCageAnd tell us what you think of you can find the reviews, you cowards. (Also, good on you for reading this far. Nerds...)

"Have you seen National Treasure?" For Nic's sake, Brian and Brock can finally say "Yes!" They have! They have seen National Treasure! Okay?!? So lay the heck off! Please and thank you! Geez! Holy buckets! Benjamin Franklin Gates! Abagail! Doug from the Hangover! Is it the same movie as the sequel? We'll find out! And we'll bring in the History and Mystery expert herself, Amanda Flannery-Hoppa, to help with the debate!Before all that, the boys (and girl) take a few corrective measures, they play a game of Would You Rather, and they break down the mystery behind all that history. Let's get into it!Find us on our Social Media, if you're so inclined:Twitter: @WeGaugeCagePodInstagram: @WeGaugeCageAnd, as always, rate and review us on Apple Podcasts if you can or haven't already.

I see Nic Cage a-comin'. He's coming round the bend. And he ain't made a good film since, I don't know when. But every now and then, there are some diamonds in the rough. And this week, Brock and Brian found a real depressing diamond in Nic's 2013 film "Joe." For once, Nic plays an ex-con and yet he's not the one in the film that could be described as a full-blown psychopath. It's a surprising turn. Before all of that, Brock channels his inner Simon Cowell and Dr. Seuss in order to drop some constructive criticism on the intro song, we get some hot shopping tips, and we give the wives some kudos for keeping it tight. Let's Joe, already!Find us on our Social Media, if you're so inclined:Twitter: @WeGaugeCagePodInstagram: @WeGaugeCageAnd, as always, rate and review us on Apple Podcasts if you can or haven't already.

His bags are packed. He's ready to go. He's standing outside his cell door. He hates to wake you up to say goodbye...Cause he's leavin' on a jet plane. Don't know if he'll be back again. That's right, ladies and gentlemen. Finally. We made it. Brian and Brock got to bear witness to the living weapon himself, Cameron Poe. Star of 1997's action classic "Con Air." Co-starring such heavy-hitters as Ving Rhames, Steve Buscemi, Dave Chappelle, John Cusack, and John Malkovich, this movie pulled out all the stops. Thrills, spills, kills, and chills!Before all that, the boys host a little fantasy draft with a babysitting twist. And that's it. Really. There's a lot of movie to talk about. Not a ton of banter. Take what you can get. Find us on our Social Media, if you're so inclined:Twitter: @WeGaugeCagePodInstagram: @WeGaugeCageAnd, as always, rate and review us on Apple Podcasts if you can or haven't already.

Every Rose has its ghost. Just like every night has its EMT shift. Just like every Ambulance driver has their sad, sad song. Every Rose has its ghost....Hey look. They can't all be winners. Such is the case with this 1999 Scorsese dud, "Bringing Out the Dead." Nic Cage stars alongside John Goodman, the ever-famous and supremely talented Ving Rhames, and some talentless zombie they found on the street named Patty Arkett or something like that. Before all that, Brock and Brian get real emo-tional, they get so sick (so sick) of being tired, and oh so tired of being sick, they re-rank their most recent 10 films, they review "A Star is Born" (because they friction CAN, that's why!), and they rediscover Brian's original idea for a podcast: arguing. Pure and simple arguing. Will they make it out of this one still friends? You'll have to listen to find out. We'll always be your friends. That we can promise. Get after it. Find us on our Social Media, if you're so inclined:Twitter: @WeGaugeCagePodInstagram: @WeGaugeCageAnd, as always, rate and review us on Apple Podcasts if you can or haven't already.We love you Ving Rhames.

Oh Cagey. Why don't you just meet us in the middle? We're losing our minds just a little.Ladies and Gentlemen, could I interest you in a romance, set in the 40's, starring two star-crossed lovers (he from the working-class side of town, she from a well-to-do, upper crust family) on the verge of the young man and his best friend shipping off to war? What if I told you there was a scene where he plays piano with her? What If I told you that he's charmingly awkward and she's charmingly well-educated and charitable? What if I told you the lead actor and actress MIGHT have names that might rhyme with Schmyan Schmosming and Schmachel SchmcSchmadams? What if I told you that we'd skip the whole overdramatic Alzheimer's angle? Well, this movie wasn't that one. But it was darn close, we tell ya! Darn close! Speaking of Notebooks, the boys jotted down a few quotes and tropes after pushing their way through Nic/Sean Penn's 1984 Romantic Snoozedy "Racing With the Moon." It's Sean's movie; Nic is just playing the ne'er-do-well best bud in it. Before all that, the boys bullshoot their way through more weather, the art of being neighborly, a real-life looking glass fakeout, we check in on their diets, they give a couple reviews of much better movies, and we learn the true meaning of friendship. Hear that, Leah? Friendship! I love you guys. I'm tired. Listen up!Twitter: @WeGaugeCagePodInstagram: @WeGaugeCageAnd, as always, rate and review us on Apple Podcasts if you can or haven't already.

Love is all that I can give to you. Love is more than just a game for two. Which is why we needed four for this particular episode. It's our annual Valentine's Day episode, so we invited the wives back onto the podcast to talk about Nic Cage's 2000 Christmas, family, rommy commy film "The Family Man." Let's just say there was a difference of opinion on this one. Somehow. Before all that, we go back for a deeper dive on City of Angels/Iris. We discuss our respective Valentine's Day plans. And we see what happens when two families start a feud. Let's get into it!Find us on our Social Media, if you're so inclined:Twitter: @WeGaugeCagePodInstagram: @WeGaugeCageAnd, as always, rate and review us on Apple Podcasts if you can or haven't already.

I don't want to wait. For this film to be over. I want to know right now, which will it be?Will Nic get another thumbs up, or will he fail to rise to the occasion? Brian and Brock sat down on their comfy couches and pored over Nic Cage and Meg Ryan's 1998 whirlwind romance/stalking horror/extended Goo Goo Dolls music video "City of Angels." This movie had angels. It had a city. It had lots of "of." So much "of." Arguably too much "of."Before all that, the boys talk life and death, the perils of mortality, and campaign finance reform. They also play what is possibly their highest-stake game of all time. With so much to lose, and everything on the line...who will emerge victorious?Let's stalk into it!Find us on our Social Media, if you're so inclined:Twitter: @WeGaugeCagePodInstagram: @WeGaugeCageAnd, as always, rate and review us on Apple Podcasts if you can or haven't already.

The boy is back in town. The boy is back in town. That's right. Back for another live recording together, in the same room, holding hands, gazing longingly into each other's eyes, shirts off, all bets also off, and with more energy than any two boys should be able to muster. Brock and Brian watched the heck out of 2009's Nic Cage/Werner Herzog confusingly-titled and even more confusingly-shot collabo "Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call - New Orleans." Truthfully, you can probably skip watching this one. We sure wish we had. Before they go marching in, the boys have a special visit from a couple of real dirty dawgs, they recap their workout (#brockliftedmore), and they finally quit running with the devil and get right with the lord for Brian's daughter's baptism. Good luck with this one!We exist on the social media platforms:Twitter: @WeGaugeCagePodInstagram: @WeGaugeCageAnd, as always, rate and review us on Apple Podcasts if you can or haven't already.

Well the weather outside is...weather.But inside, the boys are so delightful. And since they've no place to go, let them tell you about a 2005 Nic Cage film that they watched by the name of "The Weather Man." It's a tale as old as time about...a...weather man. But before we can talk about The Weather Man, let's talk about the weather, man. It's real cold in Minnesota, people. Brock begins his Apology Tour. Talk a little football. How's work at the restaurant going, Bri? Baby talk. Brian gives us a lesson on laying the pipe. And Brock takes you inside Daddy Boot Camp.Brrrrrock and Brrrrrrrrian would love for you to follow them on social media, if you're so inclined:Twitter: @WeGaugeCagePodInstagram: @WeGaugeCageAnd, as always, rate and review us on Apple Podcasts if you can or haven't already.

Gone like a freight train. Gone like yesterday. Gone like a Nic Cage in the Civil War. Bang Bang. The boys done gone and done it, I tell you what. They watched Nic Cage's seminal '00 classic "Gone in 60 Seconds." We can say that this movie co-starred Angelina Jolie. But did it? Really? Does that count? The fellas were...underwhelmed. Before all that, they discuss their Bert and Ernie-style plans for childcare, Brian retreats back into his gripe corner to talk about the restaurant, and we check in on Charley. Find us on our Social Media, if you're so inclined:Twitter: @WeGaugeCagePodInstagram: @WeGaugeCageAnd, as always, rate and review us on Apple Podcasts if you can or haven't already.

National Treasure! That is what you are. Baby you're my golden star. And speaking of babies, the baby boys plunked on down and watched Nicolas Cage's bonafide hit, all-time smash, 2007 box office superstar film "National Treasure: Book of Secrets." The sequel. The second one. No, they still haven't seen the original film. No, they won't get to it for a while. Yes, they chatter on about a few other topics before they get to all that treasure-hunting'!Brock celebrates the Saints' playoff victory over the Eagles, we check in on their weight loss journey, they offer up a brutal takedown of the healthcare system (#baddoctors), and they take a deep dive into the culinary stylings of gamma while offering a deep introspective look at life after death.Let's get into it?Find us on our Social Media, if you're so inclined:Twitter: @WeGaugeCagePodInstagram: @WeGaugeCageAnd, as always, rate and review us on Apple Podcasts if you can or haven't already. Just do it. You'll make Brian so happy. You really will.

I always feel like, somebody's watching Nic!This week, the boys did. They sure did watch ol' Nicolas and his 1999 output "8MM." It's a doozy of a snuff-obsessed thriller with a twist that one of our hosts saw coming from a mile away. Snuff film? More like Snoozff film, amiright?!?Before that, Brock and Brian regale the listeners with their latest, weightiest competition. They take some real umbrage with unique baby names. And you will NEVER guess what Brian puts into his mouth on this one! Find us on our Social Media, if you're so inclined:Twitter: @WeGaugeCagePodInstagram: @WeGaugeCageAnd, as always, rate and review us on Apple Podcasts if you can or haven't already.

I feel it in my fingers. I feel it in my toes. Nic Cage is all around me. And so the feeling grows. It's the new year, babies! What better way to celebrate than watching the newest and what could possibly be the absolute worst movie of Nic Cage's oeuvre? Brock and Brian watched his 2018 horror/thriller "Between Worlds." But I'll tell you a secret. They wished they hadn't.Before all that, the boys break a little personal news. They talk Christmas and caroling. And they talk baby talk. Let's get into it. Find us on our Social Media, if you're so inclined:Twitter: @WeGaugeCagePodInstagram: @WeGaugeCageAnd, as always, rate and review us on Apple Podcasts if you can or haven't already.

The best way to spread joy and cheer, is posting this podcast for all to hear. Ladies. Gentlemen. "Let's Be Franc-o."That's right! The boys done went and pulled a real Christmas miracle and watched a non-Nic Cage movie! In the true generous spirit of the holidays, Brock decided to put the Nic Cage back in the box and watch Brian's #1 Comedy and all-time favorite Christmas movie "Why Him?" starring James Franco, Zoey Deutch, and Bryan Cranston instead. This episode is stuffed full of all the games, banter, laughter, hot takes, and shenanigans of a regular ep - minus the Nic Cage of it all. Don't worry. We get right back into the Nic Cage pit next week. That we do. We sure, sure do. Happy Holidays, you double-dickers!

Hey you. What's that sound? Everybody watch The Frozen Ground. Actually, Brock and Brian already watched Nic Cage's 2013 thriller "The Frozen Ground" so that you wouldn't have to. Seriously. You can probably skip this one. I'm just saying. Before all that, the gentlemen talk overrated Christmas movies, we get an update on Baby Charley Watch 2018, Brock offers up some worthwhile recommendations to watch instead of this garbage, Brock rants against taking babies to movie theaters, and they pop off another round of re-ranking the latest 10. Let's get into it. Find us on our Social Media, if you're so inclined:Twitter: @WeGaugeCagePodInstagram: @WeGaugeCageAnd, as always, rate and review us on iTunes if you can or haven't already.