Connected Divergents

Connected Divergents

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Learn how to work with your executive dysfunction instead of always feeling like you're trying to fight against it. I'm a Radical ADHD & AuDHD Acceptance Coach, and I teach a harm-reduction approach to ADHD & executive functioning so you can step into your neurodivergence and feel at home in your ADHD brain.

Tina Ethridge


    • Apr 28, 2025 LATEST EPISODE
    • every other week NEW EPISODES
    • 24m AVG DURATION
    • 66 EPISODES


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    Latest episodes from Connected Divergents

    66. Did an allergy spray fix my burnout?!?

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 28, 2025 39:10


    I think I might actually be coming out of burnout—and the turning point was... an allergy spray? In this episode, I'm sharing my experiences navigating burnout, the subtle shifts and surprising changes I've been noticing lately, and how a new medication has unexpectedly started reshaping my relationship with work, rest, and energy. If you've ever struggled with burnout, this one's for you.

    65. CBT vs DBT vs ACT for AuDHD? My personal experiences

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 8, 2025 52:10


    Disclaimer: This episode is not medical advice. It reflects my personal, highly subjective experiences with ACT, CBT, and DBT. Please talk to a qualified professional for support tailored to you!Resources:dbt.toolsBook rec: ACT Made Simple by Russ Harris

    64. Creative Persistence: Why Sticking with the Problem Leads to Solutions

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 11, 2025 46:21


    In today's episode I'm sharing a tool for reflection and curiosity that I am LOVING for building intimacy around the things you want/love to do (but are finding very hard to do!). Updates on how I've figured out what works for my brain & body around movement, and ways that I've incorporated what works for me with movement into my writing practice!Instagram Post: Thinking about doing the thing COUNTS as doing the thingEssay: 'This Counts as Work' for Burnout Recovery

    63. Why I don't use transactional rewards systems

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 26, 2025 25:45


    In this episode, I chat through my thoughts on why I don't use transactional rewards systems. This is more of an exploratory, verbally-processing kind of episode as I try to untangle my feelings about rewards, motivation, and what actually works for me (and maybe for you too!). It's a casual, chatty deep dive into the nuance of motivation and why gold stars don't always do it for me.

    62. An Introspective on Four Thousand Weeks by Oliver Burkeman

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 21, 2025 34:34


    An introspective exploration after reading Four Thousand Weeks by Oliver Burkeman! Thoughts about what I enjoyed from this book, what didn't hit for me, and what still chewing on after reading in. SPOILERS AHEAD!

    61. Why I *dislike* reading books about ADHD??

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 30, 2025 20:00 Transcription Available


    I've felt this way for a long time... Why do I feel such a strong dislike towards reading books about ADHD? I'm an ADHD coach! Should I enjoy them??? Diving in with you to explore why, and sharing some *book recs* for the books I absolutely freaking ADORED and what made them different!**Thank you for being patient as I refigure my audio quality settings! This episode has a lot of pops in it, and I wish it didn't—I promise I'm trying really hard to work out new settings after having to move my setup into the hotel post-hurricane!**

    60. When systems/tools/apps meet Demand Avoidance

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 23, 2025 30:49


    I've had a REALIZATION hit me the last few days on why I'm no longer using apps/services like Flow Club (Ep 57) or even the Capacity Compass I talked about earlier this week (Ep 59)—they are too filled with *demands* to be sustainable for my brain wiring. Here's what happened for me to realize this, and the "strategy" I am replacing them with to reclaim my autonomy!Episode 3: Intentional NoveltyApps/Services Mentioned:RescueTimeBoss As a ServiceFlow Club

    59. Capacity Compass for High/Med/Low Brain Days

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 21, 2025 21:25


    Look, some days you're ready to conquer the world and some days putting on matching socks feels like a win. In this episode, we're diving into a chill way to roll with whatever energy you've got: the high/medium/low capacity compass! It's like a choose-your-own-adventure for your tasks, but make it realistic. No more pretending you're a productivity robot - instead, pick from your personalized menu of options based on whether you're feeling like a sparkly unicorn or more like a sleepy sloth. Because hey, doing something small still counts as doing the thing!

    58. Dreams for 2025

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 1, 2025 22:06


    The difference between setting "goals" and setting "intentions" and sharing my dreams for 2025! Do you have some for this year? Share with me @comfortandkindness on Instagram, or tina@comfortandkindness.co. You can also find my latest essays & newsletter archive over on Substack! 

    57. Am I not supposed to be shiny?

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 18, 2024 31:16


    I love feeling shiny. But sometimes, I'm my sparkly, warm self and it ends up getting me hurt. Is this just masking? Is this a trauma response—fawning? Is it patriarchal expectations that have been brainwashed into me? Or is it my authentic nature? How do I untangle it all? And what's the reason why all of the help I've received in therapy ("just set boundaries!!) has never been enough? Find out why with me in this episode.

    56. 'Flow Club' for body doubling!!??

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 29, 2024 13:03


    Have you ever tried the platform 'Flow Club' for body doubling?! I actually am so surprised, but I really have been enjoying it this week!! Breaking down why I prefer it over other platforms like FocusMate—this is coming as someone who historically has loathed and detested body doubling on principle (and I have a whole episode that explains why—Ep 41, When body doubling feels like Masking!). Take a peek!! Here's a link to try it out!

    55. Hurricane Helene Update

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 22, 2024 22:40


    Just a quick little ep to break the seal for me when it comes to podcast recording again—Updating you on my life after Hurricane Helene, the challenges I am navigating, the priorities I have for taking care of myself, and the mindsets that are carrying me through. ❤️‍

    54. How to Build Intrinsic Motivation with AuDHD

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 18, 2024 35:42


    In this episode, I dive into the difference between intrinsic vs. extrinsic motivation, especially for those of us with ADHD. Learn how to build and nurture your own intrinsic motivation to get things done in a way that feels good and sustainable. Whether you're tired of relying on external rewards or struggling to tap into your inner drive, this one's for you! 

    53. When you hate exercise & have a negative relationship with moving your body

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 4, 2024 63:53


    DISCLAIMER: I am not a personal trainer or a medical professional!! This is not medical advice! These are just my thoughts, opinions, and experiences as someone who has a strong personal connection to this and has struggled for *years* with negative and self-punishing experiences around movement. Thanks for listening! 

    52. My lifelong medication journey as a late-diagnosed ADHD'er

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 15, 2024 64:42


    DISCLAIMER: This is not medical advice! In this ep I am diving way back to my early childhood, adolescence, young adulthood, college, and working life about my misdiagnoses & all of the meds that I took that were not right for my brain—what it felt like to try stimulants after my ADHD diagnosis, and why I later decided to get off of them in 2022. Currently contemplating whether I want to give stimulants another shot or not, but being okay sitting in the unknown. Show Notes: Growing up as an internalized PDAer from the At Peace Parents Podcast

    51. showing up authentically + unmasking journey thoughts

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 2, 2024 19:43


    In this episode I say a big thank you for 10,000 downloads and share what it means to me to be able to show up authentically without masking, and without the thought of, "If I don't mask, then I won't be perceived as worthy/good enough." Chatting about how academia + education pressures us to write in a certain "professional" way instead of cultivating our authentic voice (at least for my line of education!) and how I used makeup as "armor" for so many years. And also about the idea of "regressing" and how yes, it can be true in some ways, but we're so often missing out on the fuller picture!Thank you so much again for 10k!!!

    50. ADHD/AuDHD Journaling Tips + Keeping a "Lab Notebook"

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 17, 2024 34:56


    Talking about ADHD+AuDHD-affirming tips for journaling and why it can be helpful to keep a "lab notebook" style journal instead of a diary to help you experiment with your brain ☺️Episodes referenced: Episode 9, Storm Journaling & Emotional Dysregulation + Episode 19, How to Come Back to "Doing the Thing" After Time Away (about persistence!)YouTube video referenced ~ Commonplace books for self-discovery

    49. Entering Autonomy & Agency as a Resource State

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 10, 2024 26:58


    What does it feel like to be free from the heavy, sticky state of "DEMAND," and enter the lighter and freer space of autonomy and personal agency, away from demands? 

    48: "Comfort Zones" Framework: Breaking Away from the All-or-Nothing

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 3, 2024 40:48


    What are "comfort zones" when you're AuDHD and how do we "get out of our comfort zone" when we're neurodivergent??? In this episode, I take a neurodiversity-affirming approach to the idea of comfort zones, sharing a few examples of how I've approached it in my own life. Listen in for nuggets about making class webinars in a way that doesn't feel dangerous, Magic The Gathering and socializing as an autistic person, and dog training!

    Radically Self-Accepting a Meltdown & Post-Meltdown Breakdown

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 7, 2024 18:39


    I had a meltdown this week…. And I actually embraced it? Listen in to hear some post-meltdown reflections and analysis, and my key takeaways from what I learned from this experience. (Also! I got a cat!!!)

    46. Why “should” we be breaking up with neurotypical social scripts?

    Play Episode Listen Later May 24, 2024 15:59


    So many of our cultural scripts tell us that there's a “right” way to do things. If you're going to write, you have to use a real computer with a keyboard. If you're going to make art, you need a studio. If you're going to do the dishes, it has to look THIS way. These scripts are worth questioning, because so often, the wisdom of our brain's resistance is saying, “There is a social script here we believe to be correct and ‘right', but it doesn't not work for me to do it this way. I need more flexibility. I need another way. I need to figure out what's right for me.” 

    45. When to *Pause* (instead of desperately searching outwards for answers)

    Play Episode Listen Later May 16, 2024 36:03


    44. Why you need a Close Why *AND* a Far Away Why

    Play Episode Listen Later May 9, 2024 29:16


    You PROBABLY have a "far away why" for the things you want & need to do. But do you have a "close why"? Is it close enough? Listen to learn more about this expanded neurodiversity-affirming framework for "finding your why!"

    43. When "tricking yourself" to do it stops working.

    Play Episode Listen Later May 1, 2024 22:17


    42. The (MULTIPLE!) Stages of Making A Change

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 18, 2024 26:28


    If you have something pop into your head about yourself or your life that you want to make a change in, **action is not step one**. Action is actually step FOUR, and there are three other critically important stages to move through before even beginning to take action. Listen to hear more about a self-compassionate approach to creating change in our lives.

    41. When body doubling feels like MASKING???

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 4, 2024 34:19


    If you've ever used body doubling in the past to great success, but have found that the shininess of this tool has worn off for you, and now you're at the point where you know you *could* use body doubling resources, but your brain is like NAHHHHH.... This episode is for you. If you have thoughts to share about ideas for unmasked & radically neurodivergent-affirming body doubling, please reach out to me at @comfortandkindness on Instagram or tina@comfortandkindness.co!

    40. Post-Meltdown Reflections 1.5, an Update

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 20, 2024 10:25


    Just wanted to share an update post-post-meltdown now that I'm feeling better & my head is feeling less fuzzy/cloudy. Grateful for the support of kind people. May we all find our people.

    39. Post-Meltdown Reflections

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 16, 2024 30:14


    This week I had an autistic meltdown. IT WAS NOT FUN! I wanted to share my insights and reflections on it, in case it helps anyone feel less alone in the experience. I see you. I'm with you.

    38. When you feel like your needs are an inconvenience to others

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 7, 2024 48:30


    Are you carrying an old wound like me, where you feel like your needs are an inconvenience to others, even though all of the evidence you have suggests otherwise? And even though maybe you know its objectively "a good thing" to communicate your needs & your feelings, you're also kind of like... BUT WHY? Why why why? Why would I do this? Why not just deal with it myself? Aren't my feelings my own responsibility??? What's the point of sharing what your needs and your feelings are when you can theoretically regulate your own emotions??... #lonewolf. If you're reading this and feeling like, "Hi, that's totally me," this episode is for you. Sharing stories & experiences in this ep to highlight the journey from, "I should be able to deal with this on my own" to, "I want to loop you in about how I'm feeling, because I trust you."

    37. How to feel proud & self-celebrate—on purpose!

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 22, 2024 20:44


    In this episode I talk about neuroplasticity frameworks for feeling proud & celebrating ourselves when we have a disconnect between the cognitive experience of—"Yeah, I would like to feel proud of myself about this"—and the deeper, embodied, somatic and emotional experience of feeling proud of ourselves. Also, in this one, I sing you a little song ☺️

    36. Why we NEED to be "F*cking around and faffing about"

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 15, 2024 24:41


    "Your brain will do it when it's ready to do it," is a profound truth for me. BUT, sometimes, we can't always wait! Sometimes we have hard deadlines and rigid timelines. So, what do we do then??? The mindset that I talk about today dives into a more active approach that still allows for the intuition and subconscious-level processing that many ADHD + AuDHD brains *need* when it comes to doing the things we want to do.

    35. "What if it's meant to feel easy?"

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 1, 2024 17:42


    WHAT IF IT'S ACTUALLY MEANT TO BE EASY??? In this episode we dive into resource states and neuroplasticity frameworks for creative problem solving when we're experiencing executive dysfunction!

    34. Masking & Unmasking with Guest Peter Harrison

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 26, 2024 57:54


    In this episode I explore with the pod's first guest, Peter Harrison about autism assessments, masking & unmasking, and what it feels like to mask (and how to approach unmasking!). 

    33. When every week is a sh*t week & on blowing up your life

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 18, 2024 16:11


    Okay, cool, let's normalize shit weeks, yes... But what do we do when every week feels like a shit week? How do we know what requires radical self-acceptance, and what requires radical change? In this episode I talk about the circumstances in which it might actually be a good thing for someone blow up their whole life.

    32. When your New Year isn't feeling very *Sparkly*

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 4, 2024 29:28


    New Year's got you feeling down? Me too, friend. Me too. If you're not feeling very "woo" or sparkly and shiny at the start of 2024, this message of comfort is for you.

    31. All About Uncommon(ly) Talked About Hyperfixations!

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 22, 2023 38:06


    In this episode I talk about uncommonly talked about hyperfixations!! It's not all sunshines and rainbows and crochet amigurumi on this ship! We dive into the experience of hyperfixating on PEOPLE, body-focused and medical hyperfixations, and a "perfectionism" hyperfixation on shiny things in our environment. I also mention how ADHD meds affected my experience of many of these—listen in! **CW: I talk about cancer in this episode**

    30. Hobbies aren't meant to stress you out!

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 5, 2023 12:10


    Editor's note: Hobbies aren't meant to stress you out *without your own enthusiastic consent*. Like, skydiving? Probably stressful. But if it's what you signed up for, because you LOVE IT, because it's worth it to you—then hell yeah. I'm rooting for you. Rock on. But if we're talking about... crochet? Journaling? Scrapbooking??? Learning how to roller-skate again? A different perspective can be helpful.I hope you remember to have fun

    29. Building "Intimacy" with The Things We Want to Do!

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 29, 2023 16:04


    Intimacy is important for human relationships—and it's *also* important for the things we want to do!! These are a reflection of the human relationship with have with ourselves. So, how do we build intimacy, and why should we?? Listen to learn more!

    28. How To Do "To Do's": Common Pitfalls of the To Do List

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 22, 2023 47:38


    In this episode I lay out common pitfalls of the dreaded "to do list" and explore ideas on how to approach task initiation executive dysfunction in ways that are more accessible for your ADHD!

    27. Why transition time is NOT procrastination (Honoring your needs, Meetings Edition)

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 17, 2023 17:25


    Transition time, decompression time, and time to recharge—this is NOT procrastination!!!! Transition time is ESSENTIAL for neurodivergent brains. Learn the "why" in this episode. 

    26. Frameworks for *Hyperfixation* Spending + Impulsive Spending $$$

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 9, 2023 33:01


    If you experience hyperfixation spending or impulsive spending (or have an interesting relationship with grief, BECAUSE, Y'KNOW, MY ADHD BRAIN SPAGHETTI'S ON HERE SOMETIMES), this episode is for you!!! In this ep, I talk about some of the main frameworks for impulsive + hyperfixation spending that I teach in my Impulsive Spending Masterclass.

    25. How to reconnect with identifying YOUR needs

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 27, 2023 16:38


    In this episode I talk about why it's so freaking hard to know what your needs are when you're late-diagnosed neurodivergent, and a strategy for connecting with your intuition! 

    24. Touchstone Libraries: A Hack for Understimulation

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 19, 2023 12:41


    Here is one of my FAVORITE support tools for when I'm understimulated, or even for when I'm just wanting to follow my dopamine but I have no idea what I want to do! Create a library for yourself, a physical menu of options—make it as visual and accessible as possible! 

    23. NORMALIZE HAVING SH*T WEEKS

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 4, 2023 10:59


    This is my love letter, my mission statement, for NORMALIZING having absolute garbage weeks. Have you been having a rough day, a rough week, a rough year? This message is for you. Not everything we experience is meant to be fixed—not every hard moment means that we're broken.

    22. What to do when you think: "Ahhh, I have no time! I've wasted my entire day!"

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 27, 2023 14:08


    Do you frequently find yourself looking at the clock and saying, "AHHH!! I have no time!! I've wasted my entire day!!!" If this is you, this is the episode for you! Here are some mindset downloads based on neuroplasticity techniques to require your brain to hold different beliefs—(on purpose! Very very very intentionally!!!) and require the actually incredibly neutral trigger point of looking at a clock. This simple shift I talk about in this episode creates nervous system safety, supports unshaming, and is aligned with radical self-acceptance... and also break away from all-or-nothing thinking!! Also, like, hi, your brain has a non-linear perception of time, remember?!?! So when we say, "I don't have enough time"... TIME IS A CONSTRUCT! Have you seen how fast time goes when you hyperfocus?!!??! Have you seen how slow it goes when you're bored!?!?! We can work *with* this part of our brains instead!

    21. Exploring the idea of a "bare maximum"

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 21, 2023 18:32


    Okay, so we've heard of bare minimums, but what about bare maximums??? Do we even need bare maximums? When is it a good idea to use them? And is hyperfocus a bad thing??? Listen to this episode to learn more! And if you are looking for it, here's the link to sign up for my Neurodivergent Love Letters in your inbox! 

    20. Defining *YOUR* Version of Rest

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 13, 2023 7:29


    Do you ever feel guilty for not "resting enough" on the weekends? Or have you tried to make sure you're getting enough rest by taking naps, chilling on the couch, watching Netflix—and found yourself feeling bored AF? Here is my love letter to you: Rest doesn't *always* have to look like physical rest. It can!! And we love that!!! But rest for your brain can actually look highly active—especially with ADHD! Listen to learn more!

    19. How to Come Back to "Doing the Thing" After Time Away

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 8, 2023 24:27


    Do you have a hard time coming back into your routines after they've been disrupted? Maybe you went on vacation or traveled for work, maybe you had an unexpected chaotic life even happen (me + Hurricane Idalia), or maybe you just burned out. In this episode, I walk you through gentle approaches toward coming back to doing the things you want to do.

    18. Hobby Rewiring

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 23, 2023 23:06


    Why I think it's important for our brains to have experiences (through things like hobbies!) that reflect our values back at us. Not "shoulds," but true, authentic values for the people that we want to be, and the beliefs that feel like home in our brains and in our bodies.

    17. Two Tools for Negative Self-Talk

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 16, 2023 22:09


    Lately I've had a lot of people tell me, "Wow! You are so nice to your brain!!" But I have not always been so nice to my brain. My go-to default was beating myself up and shaming myself for not doing enough. I reflected on it a bit, and there are two tools in particular that I tend to utilize *a lot* when it comes to this particular form of brain-changing via neuroplasticity—using *new*, different neural networks and breaking away from those default patterns. I invite you to try these out and see how they feel for your brain! And also, if you have no idea what I'm talking about when I refer to neuroplasticity, I give some info about it on here! :) 

    16. Why I *LOVE* (Yes, Love!!!) When Clients Cancel On Me

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 3, 2023 18:19


    I have clients with chronic pain, chronic illness. I have clients who are in burnout, or just on the cusp of coming out of burnout. I have autistic clients with sensory overload and ADHD clients who take stimulants and find that no pharmacy can fill their prescriptions due to the shortage, leaving them in withdrawal.I have clients who have had MAJOR life crises. The loss of loved ones. Clients with the stress and challenge of moving, of new job transitions, of vacation transitions. This is what life looks like. A fully lived life. A tapestry with every color of thread. This is what humanity looks like, too. And amidst the bustle of humanity, the weaving of life's loom, some of my clients are working to deconstruct the belief that resculeding a session with me at the last minute is disrespectful. That it's rude. Inconsiderate. A waste of my time. What I have to say is this:There is never anything disrespectful about respecting your own humanity. Your capacity. Your needs. Your precious time.I want people to learn this to their core.I want people to carry the experience of being celebrated for rescheduling instead of reprimanded. So the next time they get hit with a $45 fee for forgetting their dentist appointment, they know with the utmost certainty: It doesn't always have to be like this. 

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