Podcasts about Neurotypical

In this Parent Lean In episode, I'm talking with Margaret Webb about a question I hear often—how can we support our neurodivergent kids in connecting with neurotypical peers, especially when social skills don't quite align? We unpack one listener's situation with her sweet, social autistic son and talk about managing our own worries as parents, scaffolding playdates so they feel more successful, and finding the right playmate fit. It's all about creating safe, supportive opportunities for connection—without putting too much pressure on anyone involved.   Debbie Reber, MA is a parenting activist, bestselling author, speaker, and the CEO and founder of TiLT Parenting, a resource, top-performing podcast, consultancy, and community with a focus on shifting the paradigm for parents raising and embracing neurodivergent children. A regular contributor to Psychology Today and ADDitude Magazine, and the author of more than a dozen books for children and teens, Debbie's most recent book is Differently Wired: A Parent's Guide to Raising an Atypical Child with Confidence and Hope. Margaret Webb is a certified Master Life Coach, parenting coach, nature-based coach, former teacher, wife and mother. As a life and parenting coach, she weaves together her experience as an elementary education teacher with the tools she's learned in Martha Beck's Life Coach Training, Sagefire Institute's Nature-Based Coach Training, and what she's applied to her own life as a mom of a now 20-year-old autistic son. Her most recent book is Hero's Journey in Parenting: Parenting the Child You Didn't Expect While You Were Expecting.   Things you'll learn from this episode Why understanding the root causes of a child's behavior helps parents respond with empathy and effectiveness How dysregulation often stems from overwhelming emotions and energy that need safe release Why co-regulation and physical activity are powerful tools for helping children return to a calm state How a parent's calm presence can de-escalate emotional intensity and offer safety Why knowing when to step in and when to hold space without reacting is key to supporting regulation How keeping a long-term perspective can help parents navigate tough moments with more resilience and hope Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

So with news articles and headlines about how folks with ADHD need to get off their meds or go outside or be 'cured', there's something of a big misunderstanding and gaps in perspectives on ADHD and what it actually means. Including our shared values as a real ADHD culture, especially around how people or authority figures will relate to us. David and Isabelle describe some of the shared values in neurodivergent or ADHD culture, including ideas around masking, disclosing, lateral thinking, and questioning authority--and whether you believe that others, particularly those in power, will help you or understand you. Exploring many aspects of the neurodivergent community--and how groups form--ADHDers (more likely than the average bear) identify as members of LGBTQ+ communities, members of nontraditional or non-dominant faith groups, entrepreneurs, tech-friendly folx, and members of the military, to start. From recognizing that there are stages and phases to feeling like you can both belong and be unique, to the power of community in developing a sense of self-esteem, the need to have metacognition (or an understanding of WHY a thing is or how it works for you). --David starts by naming that within a neurodivergent or ADHD culture, there are shared values. And what we believe might be impacted by our approach to masking and our context—did we have to mask a lot? Do we need masking or not? But it also asks us: do we believe that people will help us? That schools will help us? That people with power or systemic power will support us or understand us?  David doesn't think that trust in these systems is high in the ADHD population. A lot of people don't feel like they can trust the system and it might be why we don't disclose, we don't share, we don't ask. We are a subgroup, but we are not substandard. Lots of wars being waged on ADHD, and that entire perspective ignores the things that are important. Since David joined Eye to Eye years ago and joined the ND community, he watched graduation rates go up, he'd give talks in a room and ask “who has adhd?” And no one would raise their hand. “Does it feel wrong to be asked?” And now when you talk about it in a group, people raise their hands right away. There is the good work. There is a cultural war on ADHD. Isabelle names that one of the strengths of ADHD, which is important to include in any future articles, is that we think ‘creatively,' also known as lateral or divergent thinking. We don't necessarily follow a linear thought process and skip around  think laterally or divergently. For her fellow AuDHDers, Isabelle recognizes that she does want clarity and often tries to go back to a linear though process to make sure she's understanding something clearly. But in general, the lateral thinking—lends itself to questioning authority, taking multiple perspectives, playing devil's advocate, which doesn't necessarily mean that people feel comfortable sharing this. There's a larger percentage of us that identify as queer or LGBTQ+ communities, nonbinary, gender fluid—there's also a larger percentage of us that its int he military, tech community, entrepreneurs. We tolerate risk differently. David names that this allows us a different way of recognizing our needs. If the rest of the world tells you something should meet your needs but it doesn't, you're going to maybe go back to the drawing board and start to think about things a little differently. You may be a more natural out of the box thinker, because of a lack of neural pruning. More doesn't mean better, and it doesn't mean worse. It's not a a hierarchy. Just acknowledging it exists gives people a place to belong. Isabelle describes the stages of building a group—we first debate if we want to join, we norm and create a share a set of values and create a cohesion, and then the strength of the group's cohesiveness is tested and retested with storming and questioning and then you come to the place where you are both an individual and belong, that both can coexist dynamically. Even in Isabelle's own process of joining this group of neurodivergence, when she cried at the mailboxes with David, she is feeling this with the autistic side of her, and she's seeing it everywhere and she deeply wants to belong, and then she's questioning or noticing the differences, and then she's cozy in being different and yet belonging. David names how important self esteem is for us; and we can't really develop self esteem alone, it helps you to see others who get it and can resonate with you. Three most important factors: self esteem, ability to advocate for your needs, and metacognition (understand we do what we do). You shouldn't have to try so hard to ‘fit into' a culture, it should be more natural. Isabelle names how metacognition, or changing your operating instructions, gives you a chance to reframe your own history, your present and your plans, and your needs are different than what you realized. Referencing the NYT article about ADHD meds—if you have no concept of what medication is doing for you or connecting with your medication, it's like you're fueling yourself up with a really good fuel source and you have no direction to put it in. David wants a formalized response to the NYTimes article. A formal round table. The strengths of ADHD — see Dr. Holly White's work at the University of Michigan (Scientific American article)Divergent or lateral thinking - probably most commonly called "brainstorming," it's when you generate multiple ideas, applications, solutions, problems, and hop around instead of just focusing on one answer--see this interesting guide from the University of Texas at Austin that helps teachers learn how to ENCOURAGE divergent thinking in their students.  How divergent thinking is connected to creativity (study)As well as addressing self esteem and practicing self-advocacy, work with ADHD means developing:Metacognition — thinking about your thinking, or why you do what you do. It's like understanding you've been handled incorrect or inapplicable instructions. Knowing why you need an accommodation and why it helps. It involves an awareness as well as an ability to regulate/choose a strategy (eg. changing how you study for a particular test). (source: Wikipedia).------Cover Art by: Sol VázquezTechnical Support by: Bobby Richards------Cover Art by: Sol VázquezTechnical Support by: Bobby Richards------Cover Art by: Sol VázquezTechnical Support by: Bobby Richards------Cover Art by: Sol VázquezTechnical Support by: Bobby Richards------Cover Art by: Sol VázquezTechnical Support by: Bobby Richards------Cover Art by: Sol VázquezTechnical Support by: Bobby Richards

Join us for this podcast episode as we explore the experience of neurodivergent individuals navigating a world designed for neurotypical minds. In this conversation with CHC experts, Melanie Hsu, PhD, Clinical Director and licensed psychologist and Marjan Ebadi, PhD, licensed psychologist, we talk about challenging the traditional deficit model that focuses on "fixing" neurodivergent traits, instead embracing a strengths-based approach that celebrates the unique abilities and perspectives that neurodiversity brings. We also discuss the emotional toll of masking—the exhausting practice of hiding natural behaviors to fit in—and share insights on recognizing when loved ones might be suppressing their authentic selves.Join us for this important conversation about building a more inclusive world that values all types of minds.Resources:CHC OnlineCHC's Catherine T. Harvey Center for Clinical ServicesCHC's Resource LibrarySign up for our Virtual Village email list to receive our latest episodes and recent CHC updates. Visit Voices of Compassion online for full show notes including additional resources. Find us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and LinkedIn and visit our YouTube channel for videos. Subscribe and leave us a review wherever you listen! We love to hear from you - email us at podcast@chconline.org.Santo Rico by Twin Musicom is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 license. https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/Artist: http://www.twinmusicom.org/

Isabelle and David talk 'stimming'-AKA "Self-stimulating behavior": what is this word, where does it come from, and what does it mean to 'stim'? Perhaps spoken of more in the autism community, stimming applies to ADHD also, and can connect to not just how we use sensory inputs as ballasts or balance systems, but also unique indicators of a ADHD culture of our own. David and Isabelle dig deep with some adorable sneezes, more on the ballast systems of ships, and the tail expressions of animals along the way.----David and Isabelle describe how cat and dog tails are completely different in indicating their state. David's cat was so still with just the tip of its tail bobbing back and forth, and David pointed out that that's how you can tell a cat is happy. Which is the exact opposite of how you can tell a dog is happy, with an exuberantly wagging tail. And maybe this relates a little bit to stimming, in that someone might interpret Isabelle's bouncing leg as an indication of one internal state, when actually she is stimming and feeling very calm as she does it. There could be two ADHD camps here: one for dogs, one for cats. Perhaps most ADHDers would align with dogs, as in we tend to vibrate when we're happy. David knows when he's still and quiet he is very alert and something's wrong. Isabelle's dog is currently whining at the door and she is like her dog in that she gives her all her needs and yet she has more needs? Isabelle is curious about internal stimming, like when she ruminates or revisits things in her head to self-stimulated. David talks about this as acting in or acting out, and maybe he's doing some action, or he's thinking or connecting with an internal world. Stimming is thought of as an action, that is repetitive or relieving in some way. Acting in and acting out was something David was naming 20 years ago, but now we use the term “stimming” — and it's doing something to keep your heart rate up. Isabelle did not see it used around ADHD but it does connect, but she sees it a lot around AuDHD — it comes from diagnostic origins, but the function of it is what David describes as exhaust. If his engine is running, there's going to be something going on somewhere. Slowly picking at a nail, feeling the tension of his pants, something to help him regulate his attention—like a ballast. This sends Isabelle off on a tangent about being a tween going to see “Titanic” because she was into boat architecture after seeing documentaries about the Titanic about the ships ballast getting flooded—the idea that you have these big walls that are designed to bring on some water  in order to balance the ship. Isabelle walks around with Trex arms, and it's like she is letting some of the world in and that helps her pick what's coming at her on a sensory level, because she can't really tune out the rest anyway, it's like taking in some stimulation to stay afloat. David describes how other ballasts could be biting down on leather when getting an amputation. If you give your body something to do it can distract it. While Isabelle isa bout to go on a tangent about pain theory, her dog needs to go outside, and so indeed, behavior is communication. Now David sneezes. And it's adorable. And he has to fight the reflex to not say “F you” back, because he has sneezed adorably for a long time now and his friend David C. Would always tease him and so he'd respond lovingly with an “F you!” And so he now needs to describe it all. David then segue ways to a definition of culture. Isabelle studied anthropology and archaeology in college, and remembers a professor saying that you know a culture exists when there is an in-group and an out-group and that culture is a set of adaptations to a human's environment. For example, chimpanzees, they stick a twig in a termite mound and then they eat the termites, and thinking about it archaeologically that a being used a thing to do something that nature did not use it for, so when archaeologists speak of a culture its around distinct patterns of how things were made and the area where people lived in. If we were archaeologists of the future, if we came back to earth, could we notice distinct enough artifacts that would indicate there is some difference in this group? Or we could think of it as a series of adaptations for the environments in which we find ourselves. Referencing the NYTimes article, the parts we can resonate with, ADHD is about so many more things than that. So dysregulating because it's 70% accurately, you just left out so many important details and experts and points—that thing that pains Isabelle is that this article is so long and takes so much energy to digest and is just an aspect of the book. David points out that it states that medicine has diminishing returns, because OF COURSE it doesn't mention that medication is intended to be used with therapy and of course the medication doesn't help you with the self esteem repair or accommodation strategies so in a vacuum you get diminishing returns. Isabelle is so on board and also frustrated that this is coming at a time when the world is extra scary and intense. David names that he thinks we would see signs of ADHD culture--organizing in piles, the sheer volume of fidget spinners, etc. Isabelle agrees, the material culture alone would create an interesting set of indicators that something different is happening in certain households that is unique and also in common with one another.Stimming (aka "Self-Stimulatory Behavior) -originally attributed to autism spectrum disorder (ASD), but also occurs in neurodivergent AND neurotypical or allistic (non-autistic) folks. It means repetitive physical movements, sounds, or actions that someone engages in (aka leg bouncing, finger tapping, hand flapping, twirling hair, humming, repeating words, staring, pacing, doodling, playing with fidgets, chewing gum, smelling or touching things..so many stims!).Useful for: so many things! For when your senses are overloaded or your understimulated, can help you focus and concentrate, can be a way to learn about or interact with your environment, or to cope with anxiety, stress, excitement, or big feels.Culture (Source: Oxford Language Dictionary): "the customs, arts, social institutions, and achievements of a particular nation, people, or other social group." OR, "anthropologically, culture is defined as a complex, shared system of learned beliefs, values, behaviors, and symbols that allows a group of people to understand and interact with the world. It's a dynamic, evolving set of practices and ideas that shape a group's identity and way of life" (from sapiens.org)The notorious NY Times article ("Are we thinking about ADHD all wrong?" by Paul Tough) David and Isabelle are referencingChimpanzees eating termites like a lollipop (AKA chimps having a material culture)Ballast: YES these are compartments designed to be flooded and dispense with water to help balance a ships weight and regulate how buoyant it is in water (how it floats) (see Wikipedia definition of "Ballast Tank" for more) AND superintricate maps and explanations of the...

Discussion: Dr. Stephanie Holmes and Dr. Sean Hirt discuss their clinical training and how neither was trained in neurodiversity despite the update in thinking about the Autism Spectrum (DSM-IV Asperger's). Dr. Holmes and Dr. Hirt discuss that applying neurotypical marriage models to Neurodiverse couples is not only not helpful but potentially harmful. Dr. Hirt discusses the role of the central nervous system and its impact on regulation and how typical marriage work may disrupt both partners. Have you heard from your pastor or Christian counselor- Marriage is Marriage, or Marriage is supposed to be hard. Or you tell your counselor you are a neurodiverse couple, or you attend an intensive, and they tell you that your neurodiversity doesn't matter- their model will work if you have enough faith?Let's Discuss That! About Our Guest: Dr. Hirt has an array of clinical experience in a variety of settings, including private practice, residential treatment centers, non-public schools, and emergency shelters. He is particularly sought out for his expertise in treating and addressing anxiety, depression, poor self-esteem, behavioral issues, and autism spectrum disorder in children and adolescents. Other areas of focus include substance abuse, life-transition issues & trauma-related disorders.In therapy, Dr. Hirt uses empirically driven modalities to address the client's needs. He derives techniques from client-centered, cognitive-behavioral theory, attachment theory, as well as family systems. Dr. Hirt works closely with all clients to develop an integrative, yet client-centered approach to treatment. More specifically, Dr. Hirt works with individuals to assist in developing the abilities and resources needed to reach goals, overcome hardships, and improve life satisfaction. When not working, you will often find him at parks and trails with family and friends. Dr. Hirt enjoys hiking, biking, running, and rock climbing! He also enjoys watching sports and traveling. However, his favorite pastime of all is spending time with his wife, daughters, and dog (Frank).Looking for Assessment: https://www.hirtpsychology.com/sean-hirt

Can a neurodiverse marriage actually work when communication constantly breaks down? If you've ever felt like you and your partner are speaking two different languages—especially in an autism or ADHD relationship—this episode is for you. Stephanie & Dan Holmes share how they redefined their roles at home, and used coaching to rebuild connection, reduce resentment, and finally feel like a team again.

From relationships and loneliness, to indecision and burnout, Jemma Sbeg is your guide to navigating your 20s, and looking back on that decade with a new perspective.When Jemma Sbeg started recording a podcast in the back of her Subaru about her quarter life crisis, she had no idea just how many people she would reach.But other people her age were desperate for guidance through their 20s - a decade a lot of us romanticise before we get there, and after we leave.It's a decade of massive growth for humans, when we make big decisions about relationships, careers and our own identities, but Jemma felt like she had no idea HOW to make the right choices.She had studied psychology at university, and so looked to psychological research papers to help her and her friends navigate attraction, heartbreak, friendship, imposter syndrome, career anxiety, burn out, mental health and living a happy life.Jemma's biggest lesson is realising while time is finite, we do have so much of it to "figure it out", and chances are you'll still be working many things out in your 30s, 40s, 50s and 60s.Person in Progress: A Roadmap to the Psychology of Your 20s is published by Hachette Australia.Jemma's podcast is called The Psychology of your 20s.If you liked this episode of Conversations, you might also enjoy listening to Doctor Hilton Koppe on his experience of PTSD, journalist Ros Thomas on her research into loneliness or psychologist Dr Tracy Westerman on psychology in remote Australia.This episode of Conversations explores psychology, podcasts, research, books, writing, anxiety, TikTok, social media, ADHD, self-diagnosis, growing up, how to survive your 20s, stay at home dads, heartbreak, mortality, death anxiety, social anxiety, university, what to study, how to get over heartbreak, first loves, building a career in media.

In this episode of Autism for Badass Moms, host Rashidah sits down with the incredible Arte'a Funderburk, a 37-year-old mom of three from Maryland, for a powerful and heartfelt conversation about parenting twins with different developmental journeys.Arte'a opens up about her son Aiden's autism diagnosis in November 2023 and what it's been like raising him alongside his neurotypical twin sister, Arie. From noticing early developmental differences during the pandemic to immersing herself in advocacy and education, Arte'a shares her experience navigating a parenting path filled with both challenges and triumphs.Arte'a's story is honest, raw, and deeply inspiring — a must-listen for any parent walking a similar path.Connect with Arte'a on Instagram: @moon.mamma_Follow Autism for Badass Moms:Website: https://www.autismforbadassmoms.comInstagram: @theabmpodcastFacebook Group: @theabmpodcastDon't forget to subscribe, rate, and share with someone who needs to hear this!

Jonny and Heather discuss disturbing trends in the US and UK to link neurodivergence like autism and ADHD with queer and trans identity. They explore some of the productive correlations and some of the ones more likely to lead to state-sponsored suppression. In the back half of the show they examine some examples of conflict within movements, resistance and/or LGBTQ+ rights--when they can be productive and when they aren't. The two halves come together in an acknowledgment that diversity can be challenging but ultimately it is necessary.

Isabelle finishes sharing her neuropsych results, including recommendations for ADHD and autism (HINT: unmask! WHAT?) From the categorization of ADHD like a storm warning system (Mild/moderate/severe) to how job interviews might be the one place to mask (and how David does his interviews), David and Isabelle spelunk around how certain measures, like empathy, are not 'markers' of autism in the way we may think.  Share your favorite fidgets with us! Go to somethingshinypodcast.com/fidgetlove now!---Isabelle goes into greater detail about how her neuropsychological assessment was able to show her how she initiates and sustains auditory and visual attention and a little bit on processing speed. But to get more data, she'd need to undergo testing designed for people with traumatic brain injuries or strokes or dementia—what? It's a little strange to realize that the gold standard for learning more about brain functioning as a grown up with ADHD is the same that's used for brain injuries.  David points out that he uses the word neurodivergent intentionally, in order to point out that there is a diversity of brains, rather than a deficiency or something wrong with you. There are brains that work well in crisis and brains that work well when things are calm. Doesn't that make sense? Would we say that someone would be “severely apt” at handling chaos? Maybe, you just do what you're good at? Isabelle goes back to the scale of mild/moderate/severe ADHD—mild reads as boring, moderate—moderation SUCKS—all the words for the scale are poor. David names: if you can't use the words to apply to “happiness” —it's a bad scale for humans. Would you say you are ‘mildly or severely happy?” Probably not. So maybe we use different words for humans. People with ADHD are not storms and do not require storm warnings (last time we checked). As part of her neuropsychological evaluation, Isabelle got pages and pages of recommendations for next steps. She got a lot of great data, and also realized that one episode of Something Shiny provides more—so that was affirming and helpful in terms of the work the podcast and its community are doing. Her evaluator left off her autism recommendations, sending them along later, but said, essentially, the only recommendation is to unmask more. That “the only place masking is helpful is in job interviews.” Other than that it's harmful. It takes energy, it burns people out, it's hard. Isabelle then goes on to rant about how biased job interviews are, unless you're giving case examples—but then, David is also super good at job interviews. He checks—did you go to high school or college? Cool, you must be smart. Then, do you want to work with him? Check. Then, would he want to hang out with this person? Yup. And finally, a bunch of curveballs to see how people think on their feet. Because that helps you see how people think and how they communicate about their problem solving, which is good data. Then David names that there are questions he'd love to ask about people that he can't, beyond the protected class questions about age or location or self-identity—he wishes he could ask if someone is neurodivergent or if someone in their family is neurodivergent, that is an asset to David. He sees the ability to think outside the box in order to do what they do. But he knows he's not trusted, most hiring people are lying to you, employers are anxious, you're not going to like them. Every employer is terrified of rejection, it's so complicated. But he sees neurodiversity and awareness of that as a major plus—if somebody understands that and has self-esteem around it, knows what accommodations they need, they are curious about that. Isabelle has such a bias for self-insight—she wonders, how someone who was so socially off the rhythm of her peers, how was it that she had a lot of high measures for sensory things, but high measures on empathy? Which seems odd, because all of the autistic people Isabelle knows have off the charts empathy, which David concurs. Like the empathy for the crushed ant on the sidewalk. This is so true for Isabelle, she remembers crying for hours about a three-legged hamster she saw in a pet store named “Tiny Tim”—in retrospect, his paw was probably chewed off by his littermates or his mom because hamsters are ROUGH like that—but her mom told her he was okay because he was “fat”—to be fair, she was fatphobic and Polish immigrant mentality an maybe also autistic herself, but she was so distraught. She used to track one ant walking all the way to its hill to make sure it made it because she felt personally responsible for seeing that it was okay. She was so scared she'd look at it later and wonder if she wasn't autistic—but the stakes were so high, she was scared of not having the community she felt like she was on the cusp of having and understanding. As David puts it: "we will fight for worth and identity." Even more so, Isabelle learns that her own stereotype about autism meaning she is low empathy (even indicated on the 'measures' of autism on the assessments she took) is where she doesn't 'meet criteria' for autism, and how that would keep her up at night. Until her neuropsychiatrist pointed out: it has more to do with a snapshot of where you are and your accommodations. Of course someone who is in their 40's, has been high masking their whole life, and who special interests in humans AKA psychology would be high on empathy measures--she wasn't like this as a kid but it took decades for her to 'get it.' And what a revelation, that autism and empathy are not what we stereotypically assume they might be!Also, send us photos or links to your fave fidgets! We'll put 'em on our website and share the fidget love. DEFINITIONSNote: “Neuropsych” is shorthand for BOTH a neuropsychological assessment or a neuropsychologist (which is confusing).Neuropsychologist is "an expert in how brain injuries and conditions affect your behavior, mood and thinking skills. They perform neuropsychological evaluations to assess how your brain and mind are working and suggest treatment plans." (Source: Cleveland Clinic).A neuropsychological assessment is a series of interviews and tests (computer, written, drawing, solving puzzles, etc. no magnets, radiation, electrodes, or medical procedures involved) — the type of test is based on what is being explored. This battery (or collection) of tests, often done across multiple sessions, help a neuropsychologist determine a psychological diagnosis, treatment plan, and get a sense of how your brain works. Typically recommended by school systems/medical system to assess kids to help figure out what learning differences and accommodations may be helpful, but these assessments are not just for kids! Adults can use them to gain self-understanding, establish a baseline (if dementia or high-risk contact sports play is involved), or even figure out what parts of your brain have been injured or might be affected by brain surgery. Because kids grow and development so much, they are often redone every 2-4 years. Here's more on neuropsychological assessments from the Cleveland Clinic.Masking: when neurodivergent individuals pretend to be neurotypical, hide or minimize their stims, and even pretend they have the sam...

Join Kristin, Toni and Melinda for a deep dive into the world of Autism, ADHD, and neurodivergence experiences in Buddhist communities. Toni Boucher started working with individuals on the spectrum over 35 years ago as a foster care and emergency respite provider.  As the director of the CARE Clinic where she provided autism evaluations and determined eligibility for The South Carolina Department of Disabilities and Special Needs- Autism Division, she discovered the need for further research and information about females on the spectrum and began training professionals how to identify and support neurodivergent women. Her book Autism Translated is the result of the wisdom and insights her clients have shared with her throughout these years. Today Toni is a speaker, writer and consultant. She runs numerous social groups and programs for teens and adults on the spectrum and coaches high-achieving adults. She is the founder of The Creative Community and Career Center for Autism, where members help each other thrive in a safe, sensory friendly environment. www.toniboucher.net and www.neurodiverse.com MELINDA EDWARDS, MD is a mother, writer and physician in Charleston, South Carolina. She attended medical school at the Medical University of South Carolina and completed her residency in psychiatry at Stanford Medical Center. She has studied complementary and alternative medicine with Andrew Weil, MD, researched the effects of MDMA on PTSD with Michael Mithoefer, MD, and is a columnist for Autism Parenting Magazine. Dr. Edwards is the author of the amazon best-seller Psyche & Spirit: How a Psychiatrist Found Divinity Through Her Lifelong Quest for Truth and Her Daughter's Autism.As a child of medical missionaries, Dr. Edwards grew up in a Mayan Indian village in Guatemala, Central America. Early in life she experienced an inner pull to a deeper truth. Her journey has taken her through various spiritual practices, including meditation retreats, guidance from spiritual teachers, travel to India, and living in spiritual communities. Her quest led to the ongoing discovery of the sacred in all. Inspired by her journey with her daughter Saachi, Dr. Edwards founded the 501c3 nonprofit organization Living Darshan to foster a deeper understanding of autism in the world.www.melindaedwardsmd.comwww.livingdarshan.orgBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/mental-health-news-radio--3082057/support.

Jacob decided to go on another Target run, so we have Other Jacob, our only confirmed neurotypical on the regular tea, filling in for him. While working with a bunch of neurodivergent minds, Other Jacob has built up a list of questions he has Shawn answer. Likewise, Shawn has questions about the neurotypical mind he needs answered.Have a question? Leave a comment below and you just might be featured in our next episode_____Want more from us? Click the Link Below!_____Listen Live every Saturday at 11AM (EST) on Bellarmine Radio (https://www.bellarmineradio.com/)Get all our Links! (https://linktr.ee/dyslexicsuntied)#dyslexia #podcast #diversity

Have you ever felt like the odd one out in your own family? In this episode, Mark chats with Kirsty Hockenhull, a fellow self-diagnosed neurotypical in the midst of a chaotic, neurodivergent household. They discuss how it feels to be the lone neurotypical in a family teeming with autism, ADHD, and PDA - touching on everything from helping them navigate everyday social conventions to how to cope when your emotional needs are the only ones not being accommodated for. They discuss the challenges of bridging two worlds - interpreting “neurotypical” rules for neurodivergent loved ones, while also learning where those same social norms should be thrown out of the window altogether. There are candid insights into parenting styles, navigating brutal honesty (“Mum, why are you so old?” or “Dad, you should iron your face!”), and the realisation that sometimes your greatest strength is simply having enough “spoons” to hold it all together. Finally, there's a celebration of the positive side: how being the lone neurotypical can be a privilege in its own right, helping you see the world from an entirely new perspective and become a better parent—and person—along the way. ⸻ LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE: Pizza Express - https://www.pizzaexpress.com/ The Great Escape - https://greatescapefestival.com/ Wife Swap - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wife_Swap_(British_TV_series) Gorilla Gym - https://amzn.eu/d/bpK6C0G Angela Barnes – https://www.angelabarnescomedy.co.uk/ The Stimming Pool - https://www.thestimmingpool.com/ Electric Palace Cinema, Hastings - https://www.electricpalacecinema.com/ Lucy Bronze – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xriJ8wZm1w4 ⸻ CONTACT US If you have any feedback about the show, ideas for topics, suggestions for neurodiversity champions, or any “What the flip?” moments you'd like to share, feel free to email us: hello@neuroshambles.com ⸻ FOLLOW US Instagram: instagram.com/neuroshambles TikTok: tiktok.com/@neuroshamblespod Facebook: facebook.com/Neuroshambles Threads: threads.net/@neuroshambles ⸻ CREDITS The Neuroshambles theme tune was created by Skilsel on Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/   Thank you for listening and being part of the Neuroshambles community. If you enjoyed this episode, please tell a friend, leave a review, or share it on social media. Have a nice life!

Deanna Brakefield & Jeremy Brakefield Neurodivergent News Live!

Isabelle and David continue to explore how an official ADHD or autism or AuDHD diagnosis might be a useful bridge to belong to a community. But what about the people who see these labels as pathologizing, including famous ADHD researchers like Dr. Russell Barkely? David and Isabelle explore some of the ways that thinking of ADHD from the negatives only and leaves people using the label not as a tool for empowerment, self-understanding, and advocacy--but as an excuse. Furthermore, what about labels like "Asperger's" (low-support need/high-masking autism) that has its roots in Nazi extermination camps? Neuropsychs Explored Part III.---The pro to identifying as having ADHD that David now understands, that he didn't understand years ago, was that it allows you to fit into a culture and a group differently. He walked into a room in his 30's (at an Eye-to-Eye conference) and found himself fitting in. David needed the label to understand himself. He brings up Dr. Russell Barkley and his research—Isabelle jumps in with a factoid about Barkley's twin who had ADHD and addiction issues and died in a car accident…which helps give her context for why Barkley is so big on ADHD being a risk factor while driving. David wants to make it clear—it is a tragic story, and he's not about casting anyone as evil or bad—but Barkeley's work does do a number on people's self esteem. They look at his research and think they can't change and they start to use ADHD as an excuse, not an explanation. It's important to have compassion for people, he does talk a lot about addiction and car crashes, and we all have sad parts of our past, and its what we do now that matters. When he's talking to a room for non-ADHDers, they tend to think that people with ADHD are less, rather than more. He likes folk music and David likes rap, and David is not going to pretend to like folk music. Isabelle names that she tries to make sense of something so dehumanizing, like the six hour training she sat through of his that left her in tears, gaining some context for his story gave her a chance to reduce how slimed she felt. Knowing why does decrease suffering. Isabelle has seen a lot of hostility and backlash about AuDHD. Autism is a spectrum—yes, there are non speakers and folks with high support needs. But maybe it was what back in the day was called Asperger's, a now unused term. David names that Dr. Asperger was a Nazi (sympathizer?) Who created a line around autism (essentially how high-masking someone was) that determined who lived and died. For more on this deep history of Asperger — check out the links below. Isabelle and David agree to have a way longer conversation on the history of neurodivergence. Isabelle talks more about her neuropsych assessment, including sample questions, and fill in the blank type sentences to write. And she was given a questionnaire to give to someone who knows her well—for kids, this might be both to caregivers and teachers, so they can get data about how the kid is functioning in multiple environments. Isabelle then waits, gets a twenty-some page document, and they sit down and cover it all. Isabelle has in the months between first hearing the neuropsychologist state that she meets criteria for autism, confirming her suspicions, she went on a deep dive on all these pieces of information. Isabelle felt the fear of having this diagnosis taken away from her felt so deeply. It was so hard, even just listening to the summary, she wanted to skip to the end (another autistic trait, she is learning, wanting to know the context so she can track what's being described or knowing where it's going), and she yes, she has autism, and she burst into tears. Isabelle finally has an answer to the riddle, which a chunk of it related to ADHD, but this is another part of the mystery, like she has been looking in funhouse mirrors her whole life, and now she has an accurate reflection of who she is, like a real, non-distorted mirror. She also has “severe” ADHD. David and Isabelle dig in with how negative this criteria is (which, side note, connects to Barkley's research). Are we weather systems? Are we severely awesome? Maybe we change it to extremely? Gah. Asperger's and the history of neurodivergence Articles and books on Dr. Russell Barkley Known as a big researcher of ADHD, does really good research, and pushes forward a lot of diagnostic criteria and is in a position of power changing the game for a lot of humans. The caveat that Isabelle and David often make is that: he takes a really doom and gloom, pathologizing perspective (which are scary research-based bits of information).  Asperger's Autism: you have 40% chance of ADHD, and then DEFINITIONSNote: “Neuropsych” is shorthand for BOTH a neuropsychological assessment or a neuropsychologist (which is confusing).Neuropsychologist is "an expert in how brain injuries and conditions affect your behavior, mood and thinking skills. They perform neuropsychological evaluations to assess how your brain and mind are working and suggest treatment plans." (Source: Cleveland Clinic).A neuropsychological assessment is a series of interviews and tests (computer, written, drawing, solving puzzles, etc. no magnets, radiation, electrodes, or medical procedures involved) — the type of test is based on what is being explored. This battery (or collection) of tests, often done across multiple sessions, help a neuropsychologist determine a psychological diagnosis, treatment plan, and get a sense of how your brain works. Typically recommended by school systems/medical system to assess kids to help figure out what learning differences and accommodations may be helpful, but these assessments are not just for kids! Adults can use them to gain self-understanding, establish a baseline (if dementia or high-risk contact sports play is involved), or even figure out what parts of your brain have been injured or might be affected by brain surgery. Because kids grow and development so much, they are often redone every 2-4 years. Here's more on neuropsychological assessments from the Cleveland Clinic.Stimming (aka "Self-Stimulatory Behavior) -originally attributed to autism spectrum disorder (ASD), but also occurs in neurodivergent AND neurotypical or allistic (non-autistic) folks. It means repetitive physical movements, sounds, or actions that someone engages in (aka leg bouncing, finger tapping, hand flapping, twirling hair, humming, repeating words, staring, pacing, doodling, playing with fidgets, chewing gum, smelling or touching things..so many stims!).Useful for: so many things! For when your senses are overloaded or your understimulated, can help you focus and concentrate, can be a way to learn about or interact with your environment, or to cope with anxiety, stress, excitement, or big feels.Masking: when neurodivergent individuals pretend to be neurotypical, hide or minimize their stims, and even pretend they have the same reasons for doing things (like Isabelle saying "yes, I'm antsy" when she's pacing, when really she feels good and grounded when she paces or goes from room to room).

David and Isabelle go into greater depth about neuropsychological assessments--both back in the day and now-for kids, and for adults--and Isabelle's AHA moment about self-disclosing her AuDHD self. From the odd history of the intersection of Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) and ADHD (did you know you couldn't be diagnosed with both for a long long time?) to realizing how literally she takes the world and how much it helps to finally have a turn signal on the car that is her, David and Isabelle dive deep into unmasking and the mistrust we have for the world when we are so misunderstood.---Isabelle likes having her new neuropsychological results because someone who is not her got to tell her that she has autism, and David has a different experience. His story was like three different hours of testing done at school, and it spit out that he was Oppositional Defiant, and then only in college did it notice he had differences in spelling and then ADHD. His experience is watching clients have their kids be flagged by a pediatrician or teacher to be tested and then they want to retest themselves. But David is so scared he'd go in now and learn…he doesn't have ADHD? And that Isabelle actually understands this, because there was a big gap (of several months) between the interview and the tests. Isabelle goes into further details around how she took her test in a little cubicle. And how for kids, it looks more like play, it involves an IQ test and way more details about processing speed, working memory, visual spatial reasoning, reading, symbols, numbers, etc. to help with understanding learning differences and accommodations. So Isabelle had to sit in a cubicle and stare at a computer and click on a mouse for fifteen minutes and it was awful. When he was a kid, David was pulled from class, he had no idea how long it was going to take, there was a person sitting there who was reading from a book and asking him questions. For kids, a level of buy-in becomes very important, it's hard to get data when you're a willing participant. For David, his first neuropsych showed how unwilling he was to participate, because it was something he was forced to do because there was “something wrong” and they were looking for what was wrong. This is not don't like this anymore. It's important to talk to someone who has been assessed to see how they liked their assessment. You can get a second opinion. There are people who specialize in different areas of neuropsychological testing. And someone who is great at diagnosing ADHD may not be great at diagnosing autism or vice versa. And up until 7 years ago or so, it was impossible to have both autism and ADHD be a primary diagnosis; which connected to insurance company lobbying when the DSM was being updated, ensuring that the rates of certain conditions wouldn't skyrocket because that would impact insurance coverage and ability to cover/deny and all kinds of political and social isms. The history of diagnoses and what makes the cutoffs incorporates layers of ableism, racism, sexism, homophobia…all kinds of oppression. David names how important it was an opening when you could have a combined AuDHD diagnosis because it started to mean that these diagnoses of deficiency, and all the stereotypes around all autistics being nonspeakers or having high support needs, started to get busted and it became more encompassing, maybe even of strengths? It's possible for us to be complex beings, being perceived as having ADHD or autism in another context. We are the keepers of the stigma, it was the ‘last thing we wanted to be.' The other day, Isabelle's kid went to the doctor, and she always felt the doctor was annoyed with her for being so literal and asking so many detail-oriented questions. Her kid answered the doctor's question of “does your throat hurt?” By checking in and saying “No.” And she had a lightbulb flash and realized he was taking the doctor literally. So she tells her kid “You and me, we both take things really literally and answer questions extremely honestly. I think the doctor means when she asks if your throat hurts, she means across the last week or so and not necessarily all the time or right now.” And he answers, “YES!” And she saw the doctor warm up to her kid and to her and she felt the difference, and maybe it was the vulnerability or the disclosure. For David's friend, there was a significant amount of distrust in the world, there was a pattern of miscommunication and people asking you things that they don't mean, when they learned they were autistic, their last instinct was to tell someone. But when they came back from the dentist, they talked about how much the light was bothering them, they gave me some glasses and made it so much better. David can't make us all believe we are safe, we can feel cared for when we tell people what we need and they respond. Statistically, some of the time, your need won't be missed and until recently, Isabelle didn't know she really needed, she would've said words like “anxious” and “please give me more time" 

Isabelle shares the results of her neuropsych with David: she is AuDHD! As a grown human learning she has AuDHD (ADHD + Autism Spectrum Disorder), what does it mean to 'get a neuropsych?' What even IS a neuropsych? Who gets one and why? How does high-masking autism look like for Isabelle? Busting myths, calling out fun factoids, and celebrating this news and the decrease of suffering it has brought to gain self-understanding and acceptance. ---Isabelle is SO EXCITED to see David's face. Because for the last few recording sessions she hasn't been able to see his face. And now she can see his face. She doesn't know she misses it, and David is wagging his tail and doesn't know if she's making any sense. The checking for understanding is missing. Isabelle got back her neuropsychological assessment results back. She has “severe” ADHD and also, is high-masking autistic. A fairly common question is: do I need to get a neuropsych? What does it do? David names we can all know something but this is different from the actual experience of it. Are there electrodes to your head? How many magnets are you exposed to? Is there a flowchart? Isabelle doesn't know a ton about assessments but she knows a little more now. So, for each job title or profession, you can administer different types of assessments, which involve data from interviews, and written/verbal tests—and a “neuropsychiatric assessment” is conducted by a neuropsychologist, someone who is skilled at administering and interpreting test results as well as being super savvy about neuroscience and the brain. It's a battery of tests that is designed to help someone determine a psychological diagnosis. Isabelle's experience was, she had used up her deductible and one of her kids as well as her and Bobby decided they wanted to learn more about themselves and get a neuropsych. And she wanted to test it out because she always had a little more mustard on the hot dog of ADHD, more auditory sensory stuff. So Isabelle went in for about an hour long interview and asked me a lot of directive, specific questions. No electrodes, sitting in a cozy office. She was asking questions about friendship, life history type questions about her childhood. With ADHD and Autism, you're talking about a neurodevelopment condition, meaning it's baked in and showing up throughout your life. She was asking a lot of questions about what it was like for Isabelle socially, the years of bullying and taking things very literally, social faux pas, being late to catch on to social subtext or data. And stimming? Which applies to all neurospicy folk. David likens it to a car exhaust—it's not anxiety, it's repetitive movements that let out extra steam and overstimulation, when your senses have taking in too much it helps you release. Isabelle thought it was anxiety! But she…actually isn't very anxious. She likes wearing tight clothes and textures, she flaps her hands and holds her hands like a t-rex. She's realizing how much she would be overloaded after a day, and she would pace, and wiggle her hands, she needs detailed handwriting, and she just wants to be left alone under her weighted blanket. And be crying. She'd say “and I'm overhwlemed because I had a hard day at work!” When for her, she was missing a crucial piece of information. Which is she went to Target, and was under fluorescent lights, and some random stranger talked to her and she didn't understand it, and then when she said “what?” He looked at her funny, and THAT connected more to the state she found herself in than having a bad day at work. Sitting with uncomfortable feelings and anxiety is different—David names that with anxiety, people can be thought of as fragile, and that can be helpful—but when it's applied to someone who is neurodiverse, who isn't fragile, it can be pretty frustrating. David describes how he sits and bounces his leg pretty fast and his whole body will be shaking (best kind!) And David is sitting there stimming, and people turn to him "it's okay, it's just a doctor's office” and they assume he's anxious, but he'as actually in an ADHD stupor and he's bored and waiting and feeling good. So much of how people are perceived has a significant element of judgment. Over and over again because she's sitting still or pacing or rocking on her feet—they read Isabelle as impatient or angry, blew her mind. When you see her rocking back and forth and expressionless she's super happy and chill, but you take it as a signal she needs to mask and explain and do things to signal she's happy and sometimes she doesn't understand it herself so she just says “yes, I am angry.” And she thought she was a liar—because she'd be dishonest, she'd agree with someone else and say “yeah, I'm antsy.” Even if she wasn't. David points out that that's not lying, that's masking. David speaks to how complicated lying is in neurodiversity, because friends will say “I'll see you tomorrow night" but then there's an Impulsive moment and it doesn't happen. How integrity can be perceived, and what you want to own about ourselves. Going back to the assessment process, she had a student in a room and Isabelle likes this because (she's realizing) it helps her play the eye contact game. David describes the hack of looking at people between their eyebrows instead of in their eyes. Isabelle owns that for her, not for every neurons-icy or otherwise human, she feels like she's gazing into a person's soul when she makes direct eye contact. It feels rude to her to look at her eyes without a closer emotional bond and without consent, and she looks a bit higher and eyebrows give her data and when she's looking at someone's eyes its too much. David shares: it's ten times more stimulating to look someone in the eye (10 times more neurons fire). WHAT?! yes. Isabelle is sobbing and confused saying “am I crazy? Am I making up that I am on the spectrum for some weird reason?” She was also listening to see if getting a neuropsych is worthwhile for her (for school or work accommodations)? ADHD was so obvious to Isabelle, but this was causing her distress: the idea and theme in her life of being the last to know something obvious. Increased understanding reduces suffering—what are choices? What are your needs? So much about what shouldn't or should? What parts of things can you embrace v. ‘Toughing it out.' Isabelle was in there after an hour and some change. Bobby also went in for a half hour and came out and got resources on ADHD and doesn't seem like he'd get a lot out of a neuropsych and if so, it's not causing any pain, and maybe you already know what you know and you don't go through this? Side note, this is not a prerequisite for self-diagnosis. This is a systemic hurtle, it can help you understand the world around you or help you get accommodations around specific areas of work, v. Being in school. But bear in mind, it's not just for kids.

For this episode of Diverse Thinking Different Learning, we are excited to welcome two guests - Kristin Lombardi, MA, BCBA and Christine Drew, PhD, BCBA-D! Kristin Lombardi, MA, BCBA, is a behavior analyst specializing in helping children and families build independent living skills through her private practice in Locust Valley, New York. With expertise in special education, psychology, and behavior analysis, Kristin supports individuals from early childhood through young adulthood, customizing her approach to a range of developmental and support needs. Dr. Christine Drew, PhD, BCBA-D, is an Assistant Professor of Special Education at Auburn University, where she teaches both graduate and undergraduate students. She is involved in Auburn's inclusive higher education program for students with intellectual disabilities, and before transitioning to academia, she led a middle school behavior program, gaining hands-on experience in supporting students with diverse needs. We touch upon topics in this episode such as how parents and educators can help children with learning challenges develop real independence rather than unintentionally reinforcing dependence. Kristin and Christine are the co-authors of Spectrum of Independence, and they discuss the shift from focusing on deficits to recognizing potential. They challenge the common instinct to always step in and do things for children, explaining why that approach, while well meaning, can actually hold them back. The conversation offers some practical strategies that are grounded in behavioral science, including how to break down complex tasks into small, achievable steps. They share real-life success stories, illustrating how small changes can ultimately lead to big transformations. Whether it's brushing teeth, getting dressed, or prepping for college, helping them become more independent starts with small, everyday moments. Parents who worry that they've waited too long to start are sure to find reassurance and a clear starting point, with this discussion also highlighting the role of the home environment in reinforcing new skills and making independence a natural part of daily life. With a focus on empowerment over enablement, this episode offers a thoughtful, science-backed guide for anyone supporting a neurodivergent child on the path to greater autonomy!   Show Notes: [2:33] - Hear how Kristin realized the need to bridge the gap between K-12 and inclusive higher education. [3:44] - Christine explains how students with neurodiversity struggle with independence in college due to not having early prep. [6:39] - Hear how a parent mistakenly believed that her child was independent with medication, unaware of her hidden support. [9:09] - Kristin and Christine wrote Spectrum of Independence to help parents fade out support from early childhood. [12:08] - Some students rely on parental presence for routines, making college independence difficult. [14:03] - Many parents lack access to therapists, so the book guides them in teaching life skills to their children. [17:06] - The book focuses on daily routines and the importance of developing skills early. [19:13] - Christine explains how to break down complex routines into steps, making skill-building easier. [22:43] - Breaking tasks down into smaller steps is common in education but overlooked at home. [23:04] - Kristin stresses the need for teaching self-care skills at home rather than relying solely on schools. [25:01] - Christine warns against creating dependency by always assisting children instead of helping them gain independence. [27:15] - Neurotypical children develop independence early, while those with developmental disabilities may require more parental involvement. [28:24] - Parents should gradually reduce their assistance, as sudden independence can be overwhelming. [30:58] - Teaching children to plan ahead for privacy after showering is very important for independent living. [33:45] - It is never too late to teach independence, but prerequisite skills must be developed first. [34:58] - Christine emphasizes starting small by focusing on one daily routine to gradually build independence. Links and Related Resources: Episode 83: What Students with Disabilities Should Do When Starting College with Eric Endlich, Ph.D Episode 125: Does Your Teen Need a Transition Assessment? with Dr. Gwen Palafox Kristin Lombardi & Christine Drew - Spectrum of Independence: How to Teach Your Neurodiverse Child Daily Life Skills   Connect with Us: Get on our Email List Book a Consultation Get Support and Connect with a ChildNEXUS Provider Register for Our Self-Paced Mini Courses: Support for Parents Who Have Children with ADHD, Anxiety, or Dyslexia   Connect with the Guests:  Spectrum of Independence Website  

An episode that lays down the law!Here's what's in store for today's episode: * In today's episode, Matt and Angela sit down with retired judge, late-diagnosed autistic, and host of the Meet My Brain podcast, Susan, also known as The Autistic Woman.* We discuss how the field of law draws many autistic individuals, yet it often requires a high level of masking.* It's our strong sense of fairness and justice that often draws us to law—but when we realize the system isn't always just or fair, it can lead to disappointment and, ultimately, burnout in this career.* We discuss how higher education and academia, including law school, can be challenging for autistic individuals, but we often persevere due to our relentless determination and refusal to give up.* On the other hand, autistic individuals are often drawn to the law field because of its structure and clear rules.* However, our tendency toward black-and-white thinking can sometimes mislead us, as the law often operates in complex gray areas.* That said, certain areas of law do align with this way of thinking—such as working as a prosecutor or specializing in contract law, where rules and interpretations tend to be more clear-cut.* Law also involves one of autistic people's favorite pastimes—research!* Problem-solving and strategic thinking, both strengths for many autistic individuals, can also make us highly effective in the legal field.* Our hosts and Susan delve into the hierarchy within the legal system and explore the role of autism in judicial decision-making.* Autistic individuals often leave the legal field due to burnout, as well as the unpredictability and instability that can arise from differing interpretations of the law.* Finally, we discuss popular autistic-coded lawyer characters and how they reflect the unique experiences of neurodivergent individuals in the legal field.“We unconsciously process so much data. We are in a swirling cauldron of chaos all the time, and just getting rid of this visual clutter is meaningful. There's so many things that we can do as autistic people to live healthier autistic lives. And we don't even know that [some of those] things are options.” - Matt“We [autistic folks], because of our neurology, we don't develop habits - we develop strategies. Neurotypical people do things on autopilot - like wake up, brush your teeth, go for a walk, all this other stuff, but we can't do that. We have systems.” - Matt“When we go nonverbal out of stress, when we don't make eye contact, neurotypicals are led to believe that that's because we're shifty or we're lying. So, our inherent way of being might serve as a disadvantage in a legal system.” - MattDid you enjoy this episode? We explored the intersection of autism and the legal field, discussing the challenges autistic individuals face in law careers, from burnout to navigating the gray areas of the law. Tune in as we dive into the unique experiences of neurodivergent individuals in the legal profession. Share your thoughts in the comments and use #AutisticCultureCatch to connect with us and share your experiences!Show Notes:Listen to our producer Simon's podcast The Neurodivergent ExperienceMy favorite episodes is episodes 33 - Living with Alexithymia and Dyspraxia Go listen to Meet My Autistic Brain - theautistiwoman.comInstagram @anautisticwomanTwitter @anautisticwomanRelated EpisodesStar Trek is AutisticApple is AutisticFollow us on InstagramFind us on Apple Podcasts and SpotifyLearn more about Matt at Matt Lowry, LPPJoin Matt's Autistic Connections Facebook GroupLearn more about Angela at AngelaKingdon.com Angela's social media: Twitter and TikTokOur Autism-affirming merch shop This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.autisticculturepodcast.com/subscribe

In this reflection I confront the conundrum of living in a world in which I have been masking. Supporting themes: Giftedness, Excitability; Sensitivity; Adultism; Student agency; Mediocrity; Neurotypical behaviors. Typology: INTJ; Type 1; Type 8

Isabelle and David welcome back Marcus Soutra, co-founder of Eye to Eye and founder of For the Good Consulting, and explore the nature of authenticity, "coolness" and the meaning of masking with nation-wide advocacy expert and fellow ADHD and LD-er. How did being "cool" go from being rich and unaffected to being authentic and open about ND/LD identities? From the loneliness and high masking rates of ADHDers, to Abercrombie & Fitch t-shirts and social media, the ways ND culture has approached masking and unmasking.----Isabelle talks about how being wealthy and affording the performance/clothes of ‘coolness' growing up was Abercrombie & Fitch back in her high school days--these were expensive clothes that you had to get at the mall and were part of the performance of being 'cool.' And what about how much of coolness, at least for a time, was defined by money, or access to certain expensive clothing brands (like Abercrombie and Fitch) What it means to perform and be high masking, for her. There is a coolness factor, the kid who can pick up what's cool has an advantage over the kid who doesn't. Marcus sums it up: are you able to fit in and be embraced by the neurotypical world? And if you can't, there's the loner path, the bully path? The empathy he has for the bully path—they were, in his past, the LD/ND kids who were dealing with loneliness and not masking well and it was their way of finding their way to a role in the school community. 60% of people with ADHD say they mask on regular basis and 33% say there is a loneliness to the experience of having ADHD. Then there's also the pain of being high-masking or being accepted by the neurotypical world, how little practice you have at sitting with who you really are, and finding a stable sense of self. There is a way to be a self to fit in that is not the same as an authentic, self-confident knowing-who-you-are self. The difference between doing it in a healthy way v. doing it in a way to survive. Hard to know what parts of you are okay, and when you're blending into a neurotypical world, there's a significant advantage of being able to read the rooms around social cues. Marginalized senses of self are real, having to exist believing you're less than. Or believing if the mask ever falls, it's terrifying. Isabelle names that there's a management around masking and the layers, like she can unmask and say “I have ADHD!” but she doesn't say, “I have ADHD and I screwed up the finances again so I can't afford the school bill.” Something for her connects coolness to unaffectedness, not being vulnerable, or not caring what others think. Beyond the unique person who owns where they are, where does coolness come from in our culture? Marcus responds that it's often the people at the top of the social hierarchy, it's the celebrities, the role models.  Growing up for Marcus, there were the most attractive movie stars who were dyslexia, like Tom Cruise, Orlando Bloom, not Paul Giamatti. When it came to Aspergers (previous name for low support need Autism, check out more in depth on this history below) or Autism (before it was known as Autism Spectrum Disorder or ASD) were superheroes, like RainMan, Temple Grandin, and that was our introduction to the autism community. If you're dyslexic, the way to make it out is to have hotness or have superhero qualities, and if you don't fit into either one of those, good luck. This brings up how celebrities are not so far removed anymore, from the days that you got these bland PR stories or tabloids, now you have people sharing their stories and unmasking on social media. Marcus names that authenticity is now a part of social media, and it's important for celebrities to have a cause, to be speaking to some aspect of this. If we'recynical, it could be a branding strategy, or it could be a shift in culture, because this emphasis on authenticity rather than hiding has been a big change in the last five years. What is Abercrombie & Fitch? The following documentary covers it pretty much:"White Hot: The Rise and Fall of Abercrombie and Fitch" (Netflix documentary)DEFINITIONS:Masking: Often used in referenced to autistic folx (Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD)), it also applies to folx with ADHD, OCD, and all kinds of neurodivergence (ND) and learning differences (LD), like dyslexia, dycalculia, dyspraxia, dysgraphia, etc. It's the idea that you have to wear a neurotypical "mask" to be accepted or to engage in a world made for those that are neurotypical. You 'pretend' as if you brain and nervous system work in ways they don't. It can be (and feel like) a matter of survival. From a great article on the topic:“For many neurodivergent people, masking is a survival tool for engaging in neurotypical societies and organizations. Masking (also called camouflaging) is the artificial performance of social behaviors deemed more “socially acceptable” in a neurotypical culture.”For more on Marcus Soutra:www.For the Good Consulting.comSoutra is a dynamic, award-winning advocate, leader, and trailblazer in the field of neurodiversity (ND). An ND individual himself and former classroom teacher turned social entrepreneur, he co-founded and led Eye to Eye, scaling the organization's impact on thousands of schools and individuals across the United States. A sought-after speaker, Soutra has delivered compelling talks on stages worldwide, from Harvard to Tokyo, has appeared in dozens of television broadcasts and podcasts,  and has been featured in leading publications including Forbes, The Hill, and Philanthropy Digest. In recognition of his transformative work, he received an honorary doctorate from his alma mater in the spring of 2024.As the founder of For The Good Consulting, Soutra now supports organizations dedicated to driving systemic change for individuals furthest from opportunity. He resides in Brooklyn, NY, with his wife, an educator and learning specialist, where together they continue to advocate for a more equitable world for all students.------Cover Art by: Sol VázquezTechnical Support by: Bobby Richards

An episode that's breaking barriers in discussing neurodivergence and disability rights.Here's what's in store for today's episode: * Today, Matt and Angela discuss the "Make America Healthy Again" executive orders, the concept of "wellness camps," and their harmful impact on the neurodivergent and disabled communities.* We then explore the history of neurodivergence during the Nazi era, the horrific treatment neurodivergent people endured, and how Hans Asperger used Asperger's syndrome to separate autistic individuals deemed worthy of survival from those who were not.* The reality is, you can't "cancel" autism or neurodivergence—it's genetic and an inherent part of who we are.* Our hosts dive into the topic of internalized ableism within the neurodivergent community, particularly its prevalence among those with lower support needs.* Additionally, we discuss the issues with ABA and behaviorism, as well as Lovaas's role in both gay conversion therapy and ABA.* We also discuss Elon Musk—while he is autistic, he is not part of the autistic community or culture, as he does not embrace or support autistic ideals.* Our hosts examine the increasingly alarming policies of this administration, emphasizing that supporting it is a statement against the well-being and rights of autistic people.* This administration is actively working to dehumanize transgender people, and there is a significant overlap between the trans and disabled communities.* We discuss how autism levels are inherently biased, often correlating with one's ability to contribute to capitalism.* Disability is the one minority group that everyone will eventually belong to—at some point in life, everyone will experience disability.* Level three autistic people are often infantilized, while level one autistic people are frequently asked variations of, "Have you just tried suffering?"* We also explore the historical context of the "vaccines cause autism" myth—reminding everyone that autistic people have existed long before vaccines!* Finally, we discuss the importance of community during these times and the need to move away from relying on traditional systems. “People are ‘the parasite class' - because unless you're independently wealthy and pull yourself up by your bootstraps and have millions or billions or trillions of dollars, you are somehow a drain on the ‘great system' that is the United States.” - Matt“That's how neurotypical people lead their lives. Neurotypical people don't have an inner monologue. Neurotypical people are not pattern-followers. Neurotypical people trust the people above them socially to do what is in their best interest. These executive orders protect neurotypical people by getting rid of us pesky neurodivergent people that are somehow eating up neurotypical resources.” - Matt“We need people who will support us in the community, because we all need support. All humans need support. We are not individual islands. We all need to rely on each other, because the traditional systems will not take care of us.” - MattDid you enjoy this episode? We explore how autism and neurodivergence are deeply embedded in the world around us, from harmful policies to the biases within autism levels. Tune in as we unpack how society's treatment of neurodivergent and disabled individuals shapes our lives, and why supporting certain systems can harm our community. Let us know your thoughts in the comments, and use #AutisticCultureCatch to share your perspectives on the episode!Show Notes:https://www.facebook.com/drangelakingdon/posts/pfbid0MUr89WMxZoonBTaBwef2yAtGyQFTrB8etJbjC7XoobJF8iRjP3ghr3TdoHdaCPRDlhttps://autisticadvocacy.org/2025/02/asan-condemns-announcement-of-presidents-make-america-healthy-again-commission-and-harmful-ideas-about-autism-and-other-disabilities/Related Episodes:Fighting Internalized AbleismReady for a paradigm shift that empowers Autistics? Help spread the news!Follow us on InstagramFind us on Apple Podcasts and SpotifyLearn more about Matt at Matt Lowry, LPPJoin Matt's Autistic Connections Facebook GroupLearn more about Angela at AngelaKingdon.com Angela's social media: Twitter and TikTokOur Autism-affirming merch shop This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.autisticculturepodcast.com/subscribe

Text us your sleep questions.If bedtime feels like a never-ending battle, and your child struggles with sensory sensitivities, ADHD, autism, or just can't seem to settle down, you are not alone. Sleep challenges are super common—especially for neurodivergent kids—but the good news is, there are ways to help.In this episode of Creating Well-Rested Families, I'm chatting with Jess Toews, Co-founder and CEO of Brainvive, about the deep connection between brain health, sensory processing, and sleep. Jess has spent over a decade helping families navigate everything from learning disabilities to autism, ADHD, and PANDAS/PANS, and she gets firsthand how exhausting it can be when your child just won't sleep.We're diving into:✨ Why brain development and sensory processing play such a big role in sleep (for both neurodivergent and neurotypical kids!)✨ Common sensory-related sleep struggles—like sensitivities to noise, light, and textures—and what to do about them✨ How early signs of neurodivergence (autism, ADHD, PANDAS, etc.) can show up in sleep patterns✨ Simple, real-life bedtime routines to help your child wind down without a meltdown✨ How to create a sensory-friendly sleep space (because bright lights and scratchy sheets are not helping)✨ When to get extra support—and how Brainvive's approach helps kids and parents finally get the rest they needIf you've been feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or just plain exhausted trying to help your little one sleep, this episode is for you. Whether you're navigating sensory struggles, early signs of neurodivergence, or just looking for sleep tips that actually work, you'll walk away with real, practical ways to make bedtime smoother for your whole family.

Isabelle and David welcome back Marcus Soutra, co-founder of Eye to Eye and founder of For the Good Consulting, and ask an interesting question of this nation-wide advocacy expert and fellow ADHD and LD-er: how has life in schools changed for neurodivergent kids, especially now that some of us are parents/educators/in charge? Are kids still afraid, as David was, of having to go to the nurses' office? And how has what's "cool" been redefined in the past decades? From trauma modes to collared shirts, from shifting ADHD from a diagnosis to an identity, the three explore perspectives on masking (AKA using energy to appear as neurotypical), which can be both a poison and a salve.----David wonders, given that Marcus travels across the continental United States…what is he seeing as patterns in neurodivergent culture? Marcus describes that he sees the elder millennials having kids who are now being identified as being neurodivergent, and naming, “The trauma ends with me,” and they're refusing to hand this off to the next generation, and because a generation that grew up with these labels are now turning into parents, school leaders, caregivers, people in charge. David likens this to growing up in an earlier generation where he was taught to toughen up, to take the knocks and handle it. Isabelle relates this to how when you're living in survival mode, you can't also be processing the trauma and making meaning of it, you first have to survive—and part of survival mode is to have tunnel vision, to stay tough, to not pause to feel. So it would make sense for a generation that maybe always was in survival mode to try to pass that on to their kids in the form of “toughen up.” She relates to wanting to break this cycle, though, so hard, as a parent. And also—what does David mean by the “boy named Sue” generation? (Answer: it's a reference to a Johnny Cash song, see below). Marcus describes how this compares to other movements, where something that used to be a diagnosis or label is then taken back as an identity. As he has ADHD, he was hoping this change would happen so much faster, in his small, privileged ND community this change happened so rapidly. It does take these generational shifts and changes to make these things stick. David names that individually, we all have individual struggles that rub up against the system. It felt like school was meant to take parts of us away, it was like an eraser trying to shave parts off. But we are be keepers of that. In school there was no concept of advocating for an accommodation, it was just: do you want to look weird? Leaving class early to go get his meds. How has this changed for kids and adults? It's hard to generalize because “you know one neurodivergent person, you know one neurodivergent person.” But having an open conversation about something and talk about it and acknowledge and not other it—it does set it up for students to have a teacher they can talk to and ask for what they need (even one adult in that building). The needle has moved from the average high schooler even knowing what dyslexia/ADHD/any ND or LD is. Marcus wasn't bummed out about dyslexic, but back in high school, it was other people were going to see him being different. He refused to get accommodations for the third time, because if he got accommodations for it, he wouldn't take the SAT at the same time. Isabelle remembers that as a full body memory, taking the SAT being a production back in the day and even in her own experience being bussed on the short bus into a different school for a Gifted program and how it signaled you were different but also you didn't want to belong to this select tribe, either.  David names: different is dangerous in some ways, not just for kids but for adults, too. You walk into a room and everyone is wearing a blue “I'm here for a reason” shirt and you might slowly back out of the room and go “I don't belong.” Trying to be like everyone else is both the salve and the poison—it helps keep us save when we're masking—what does everyone else is doing? It helps us mask, but David's first time being a room where people admitted they were neurodivergent, Grady was bouncing a racket ball, the relief and joy you feel when you can join in being more authentically yourself. Isabelle is thinking of the “Cool Bean” book (see below) and how in that story, the beans are ‘cool' not just because they are performing as cool and have style and whatnot, but also because they are willing to take risks and help those who are being bullied or laughed at, that are able to stand up for others and themselves in a way. This is so different than ‘coolness' as Isabelle experienced it in her little bubble growing up in suburban Chicago, where coolness felt way more about avoiding being targeting and felt meaner and scarier and more about social power and wielding it (with meanness). Marcus names how his masking helped him in a way; he didn't know if he could get away with getting into trouble so he would know how to appear wearing a collared shirt and combed hair and befriend his teachers so that he would get on their good side. David describes how with ‘coolness,' it could be more about performing as if, rather than actually being it—like Marcus wasn't actually friends with his teachers but he had the appearance of it, and how often we take those appearances of coolness and roll with it. Isabelle wonders—what about the privilege of masking? Like the way people who mask more easily and slot into neurotypical expectations have privileges and also—‘detecting' what's cool? And what about how much of coolness, at least for a time, was defined by money, or access to certain expensive clothing brands (like Abercrombie and Fitch) What it means to perform as if you are confident in who you are, Johnny Cash's “Boy Named Sue” (live at San Quentin, 1969)Cool Beans book (by Jory John) read aloud (by Harper Kids)Smart Cookie (also by Jory John) read aloud (by Magical Little Minds) about learning differences/neurospicyness according to Isabelle"White Hot: The Rise and Fall of Abercrombie and Fitch" (Netflix documentary)------Cover Art by: Sol VázquezTechnical Support by: Bobby Richards

Ths discussion captures the experiences of parents raising neurodivergent children, emphasizing the importance of finding joy, fostering inclusion, and supporting sibling relationships. Parents share personal stories of resilience, from guiding neurotypical siblings to embrace their roles with love to advocating for inclusive school environments. They highlight the unexpected ways their children teach them patience and strength, as well as the deep sense of community that emerges when families, educators, and peers come together. Series: "Autism Tree Project Annual Neuroscience Conference" [Health and Medicine] [Science] [Show ID: 40214]

Ths discussion captures the experiences of parents raising neurodivergent children, emphasizing the importance of finding joy, fostering inclusion, and supporting sibling relationships. Parents share personal stories of resilience, from guiding neurotypical siblings to embrace their roles with love to advocating for inclusive school environments. They highlight the unexpected ways their children teach them patience and strength, as well as the deep sense of community that emerges when families, educators, and peers come together. Series: "Autism Tree Project Annual Neuroscience Conference" [Health and Medicine] [Science] [Show ID: 40214]

Ths discussion captures the experiences of parents raising neurodivergent children, emphasizing the importance of finding joy, fostering inclusion, and supporting sibling relationships. Parents share personal stories of resilience, from guiding neurotypical siblings to embrace their roles with love to advocating for inclusive school environments. They highlight the unexpected ways their children teach them patience and strength, as well as the deep sense of community that emerges when families, educators, and peers come together. Series: "Autism Tree Project Annual Neuroscience Conference" [Health and Medicine] [Science] [Show ID: 40214]

Ths discussion captures the experiences of parents raising neurodivergent children, emphasizing the importance of finding joy, fostering inclusion, and supporting sibling relationships. Parents share personal stories of resilience, from guiding neurotypical siblings to embrace their roles with love to advocating for inclusive school environments. They highlight the unexpected ways their children teach them patience and strength, as well as the deep sense of community that emerges when families, educators, and peers come together. Series: "Autism Tree Project Annual Neuroscience Conference" [Health and Medicine] [Science] [Show ID: 40214]

Ths discussion captures the experiences of parents raising neurodivergent children, emphasizing the importance of finding joy, fostering inclusion, and supporting sibling relationships. Parents share personal stories of resilience, from guiding neurotypical siblings to embrace their roles with love to advocating for inclusive school environments. They highlight the unexpected ways their children teach them patience and strength, as well as the deep sense of community that emerges when families, educators, and peers come together. Series: "Autism Tree Project Annual Neuroscience Conference" [Health and Medicine] [Science] [Show ID: 40214]

Ths discussion captures the experiences of parents raising neurodivergent children, emphasizing the importance of finding joy, fostering inclusion, and supporting sibling relationships. Parents share personal stories of resilience, from guiding neurotypical siblings to embrace their roles with love to advocating for inclusive school environments. They highlight the unexpected ways their children teach them patience and strength, as well as the deep sense of community that emerges when families, educators, and peers come together. Series: "Autism Tree Project Annual Neuroscience Conference" [Health and Medicine] [Science] [Show ID: 40214]

Ths discussion captures the experiences of parents raising neurodivergent children, emphasizing the importance of finding joy, fostering inclusion, and supporting sibling relationships. Parents share personal stories of resilience, from guiding neurotypical siblings to embrace their roles with love to advocating for inclusive school environments. They highlight the unexpected ways their children teach them patience and strength, as well as the deep sense of community that emerges when families, educators, and peers come together. Series: "Autism Tree Project Annual Neuroscience Conference" [Health and Medicine] [Science] [Show ID: 40214]

An episode that's Much Ado About Autism!Here's what's in store for today's episode: * Today, Matt and Angela welcome special guest and Shakespeare expert Dr. Sonya Freeman Loftis to explore how the Bard's works connect with autistic culture.* Sonya shares how she began studying Shakespeare through a disability lens and explores how some of his characters embody neurodivergent traits.* We discuss how the Globe Theatre is highly accommodating of disabilities and how Shakespeare's works are often featured in “relaxed performances” or autism-friendly showings.* Additionally, we explore the existence of Shakespeare therapy and how his works bring comfort in settings ranging from prisons to assisted living facilities.* Because of its complex language, Shakespeare's work requires a lot of bottom-up processing—something that comes naturally to us autistic folks.* We also talk about how Hamlet's deep melancholy and introspection can easily be understood through a neurodivergent lens.* "To be or not to be" is honestly the most famous autistic inertia quote of all time.* Our hosts and Sonya also dive into the character of Coriolanus, exploring how his lack of social interest and strong sense of justice make him an inherently autistic character.* Tragic heroes often embody neurodivergent experiences—whether it's Macbeth, King Lear, Othello, or Hamlet, each character reflects traits that resonate with the neurodivergent journey.* We discuss the ableism faced by Othello due to his epilepsy and how his character highlights the broader theme of otherness in Shakespeare's works—showing that understanding Shakespeare means understanding the experience of being viewed as different.* The emotional intensity of Shakespeare's plays can be deeply cathartic for the autistic reader, offering a powerful release through the raw, unfiltered emotions of his characters.* In Shakespeare's works, due to the time period, neurodivergent traits are often used for comic relief or are punished in some way, reflecting the societal attitudes of his era towards difference.* It's hard to say whether Shakespeare himself was autistic, as little is known about him biographically, but it's fascinating to see the ways disabled people have claimed his work and found resonance in his characters and themes.* However, Shakespeare could have been neurodivergent simply due to the sheer volume of writing he produced and the vast amount of knowledge he seemed to hold, which could suggest a unique cognitive perspective.* Shakespeare's work continues to be adapted and reclaimed to this day—like Baz Luhrmann's iconic Romeo + Juliet—as well as through neurodivergent Shakespeare meetups, where his plays are reinterpreted and embraced by new audiences.* Finally, we discuss the non-reciprocal, autistic language in Hamlet and how Shakespearean theater often breaks away from the rules and conventions of neurotypical performances, making it easier for neurodivergent audiences to have their needs met.“As a person with a disability, I felt frustrated sometimes when I would go to Shakespeare conferences and find that most of the focus was only on characters. And I thought, ‘okay, but what about the real people with disabilities who read Shakespeare and perform in Shakespeare plays and go to Shakespeare theaters?' And, you know, why isn't anyone writing anything about them?” - Dr. Sonya Freeman Loftis“One of the things that makes [Shakespeare] autistic culture representative is that because it is not in vernacular English, you have to bottom-up process. You need a dramaturg. You have to break down every single thing.” - Angela“Growing up as an autistic person, I never understood all of the conversation around me. I could understand some of it, but I never understood all of it. Neurotypical people use so many words and there was so much conversation. And I feel like that acceptance of not understanding it all has helped me to be a better reader of Shakespeare.” - Dr. Sonya Freeman Loftis“Average people throughout history did not make history. The average person lived and died largely forgotten living an average life. If you do something that is divergent, like making a whole bunch of plays that live on for centuries after your death, that is indicative of neurodivergence. Average people live average lives. And if you want to be outstanding, you got to be standing out.” - MattDid you enjoy this episode? All the world's a stage, but Shakespeare's works might just be the most autistic of them all. We dive into the deeply neurodivergent themes, characters, and language that make the Bard's plays resonate with the autistic experience. Let us know your thoughts in the comments, and use #AutisticCultureCatch to share your favorite autistic Shakespeare moments!Show Notes:https://morehouse.academia.edu/SonyaLoftishttps://www.researchgate.net/publication/374910377_William_Shakespeare_was_on_the_Autism_Spectrum_Asperger%27s_Syndrome_First_DraftReady for a paradigm shift that empowers Autistics? Help spread the news!Follow us on InstagramFind us on Apple Podcasts and SpotifyLearn more about Matt at Matt Lowry, LPPJoin Matt's Autistic Connections Facebook GroupLearn more about Angela at AngelaKingdon.com Angela's social media: Twitter and TikTokOur Autism-affirming merch shop This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.autisticculturepodcast.com/subscribe

An episode that checks all the vital signs.Here's what's in store for today's episode: * Today, our hosts dive into part two, a follow-up to our previous episode on autistic medical needs.* Autistic people often experience comorbid conditions, many of which stem from the distressing effects of navigating a neurotypical world. These can include POTS, MCAS, PMDD, PCOS, PTSD, and Ehlers-Danlos syndrome, among others. On the bright side, we're at a lower risk for cancer!* Living in a world designed for neurotypicals is inherently traumatic for autistic people, often leading to chronic stress that impacts our physical health. This distress can contribute to comorbid conditions like POTS, MCAS, and Ehlers-Danlos syndrome, making medical advocacy a crucial but often exhausting necessity.* We discuss the pathological demand compliance that neurotypicals seem to exhibit, blindly following societal expectations without questioning them. This tendency contrasts with autistic people's need to understand the why behind demands, making medical self-advocacy even more challenging.* Bottom-up processing means we're constantly researching and analyzing potential medical issues, often coming to our own conclusions before seeing a doctor. However, the medical system doesn't always operate this way, making it frustrating when our self-advocacy is dismissed or misunderstood.* Neurotypical doctors, due to the intensity and nature of their training, can carry a lot of internalized ableism. As a result, they don't always react well to autistic patients who have done their own research and come prepared with information about their condition.* We talk about the issue of medical gaslighting and how it happens frequently to autistic people, where our symptoms and concerns are dismissed or belittled by healthcare professionals.* Additionally, systemic racism remains rampant in the medical field alongside ableism, further complicating the already difficult experience for multiply marginalized autistic people seeking proper care and recognition of their needs.* Our hosts discuss the issues with medication, highlighting how it's often more hit or miss than many would like to believe, especially when it comes to finding the right treatment for autistic individuals.* We talk about how frustrating it is when you have to be assertive about your needs at the doctor's, only to have it perceived as aggression, even though you're just advocating for your health.* There is an importance now more than ever to teach neurotypical healthcare providers how to properly interact with their neurodivergent patients, ensuring they feel heard, understood, and respected in their medical care.* We discuss the struggle of having to mask in doctor's offices and the importance of doing your own research to accompany doctor's visits, as it's often necessary to ensure your concerns are taken seriously.* Going to the doctor's is a masterclass in masking—showing just the right amount of emotion and care to avoid being seen as too detached or overly emotional, all while trying to communicate your needs effectively.* Our hosts discuss how to "fake" being neurotypical by understanding the intricacies of top-down processing, where we learn to mimic expected behaviors and responses, even if they don't come naturally to us.* Having autistic connections is so important because when we find a provider who is autism-affirming or discover medical information that could help our community, we need to shout it from the rooftops to ensure everyone has access to that support.* In times like these, especially with medical situations and the ongoing DEI crisis, we need to lean on our communities more than ever for support, knowledge, and solidarity.“We like to be in the background. We like to be in the shadows. We like to not be judged, because it's safer there. Because otherwise, there is a chance that we will be judged, we will be left out, people will actively dislike us. But, if we are invisible, there's no chance for that to happen.” - Matt“Living in a neurotypical world is inherently traumatic for us. The CPTSD rate is so high for autistic people that neurotypical people can't tell what's CPTSD and what's autism traits. That's the thing about the anxiety and the depression and the gastrointestinal distress and all of this stuff. It's not normal autistic stuff. It's autistic distress cues.” - Matt“The bias is that, ‘if there's a way to fix it easily, then let's fix it easily.' And I don't think that's wrong, but it ends up feeling a whole lot like gaslighting and being pushed away when we know real things are happening.” - Angela “But here's the thing, because you don't know you as well as this doctor knows you, because this doctor has a degree and went to school and they know all the things. They are God-like.” - MattDid you enjoy this episode? We dive into the challenges of navigating a neurotypical world with a neurodivergent brain, exploring the medical hurdles and advocacy we face. From medical gaslighting to the struggles of masking in doctor's offices, we discuss how these issues impact our health and well-being. Let us know your thoughts in the comments, and use #AutisticCultureCatch to share your experiences and connect with others on social media!Related Episodes: Autistic Medical NeedsReady for a paradigm shift that empowers Autistics? Help spread the news!Follow us on InstagramFind us on Apple Podcasts and SpotifyLearn more about Matt at Matt Lowry, LPPJoin Matt's Autistic Connections Facebook GroupLearn more about Angela at AngelaKingdon.com Angela's social media: Twitter and TikTokOur Autism-affirming merch shop This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.autisticculturepodcast.com/subscribe

In this episode of Beautifully Complex, I'm joined by Dr. Matt Zakreski, who shares compelling strategies from his new book, "Neurodiversity Playbook." We discuss how important it is to create a neuro-affirming environment that celebrates authenticity while equipping our kids with the social skills to thrive in a neurotypical world. You'll learn how to replace the worry of 'fitting in' with the confidence of 'standing out' in their own unique way.You'll gain step-by-step guidance on helping your child build a supportive community, fostering emotional growth while also growing their confidence and competence. With practical advice, we'll show you how to make those unspoken rules of social interaction more visible to level the playing field, ensuring your child feels safe, understood, and empowered.Tune in for a warm and supportive conversation that ensures you're not alone on this journey. Together, we'll foster a sense of hope and possibility, offering actionable tips to help your neurodivergent child crack the code of a complex world. Listen now and take the first step towards building a brighter future for your family.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/beautifully-complex--6137613/support.

Isabelle and David continue to talk with David's brother's friend, Aaron, and dig deep into why winding down and going to sleep is the hardest transition of all: because you're staring into a black hole of no dopamine for hours! And also, a lot of traditional sleep hygiene tricks may not work. Folks with ADHD have higher rates of sleep apnea, among other sleep disorders, and also, can do with staying away from preferred activities before bed. This, sleep tips and tricks, and recognizing the value of being open about your neurodivergence...as well as some really good callbacks to the previous two episodes (096 and 097) regarding "St. Elmo's Fire's" amazing theme song.—-Isabelle and Aaron wonder: what's with this PDA business (persistent drive for autonomy/persistent demand avoidance)? David explains: It's hard for us to connect a learned moment with an experience, it's hard for us to take a moment we're learning now and take it into the future, and we're distractable. If we're in a place with any shame, guilt, or anxiety, distraction becomes highly reinforcing. We are highly reinforced by not paying attention to what we want to pay attention to it. We're not seeing the long term consequence, we don't understand what we're doing to our future by not doing it in this moment--delay of gratification and response cost. Like, what did you do today? “I watched three seasons of Scrubs and ate a buffet of Indian food.” We can't claim any wins at the end of the day, but in the moment it felt so nice, it was a distraction. Neurologically we don't get a success, norepinephrine —you feel anxious, and it leads into their evening, and for kids and adults, if you're really anxious about the next day, you don't want to go to sleep. “The longer I'm up today, the longer today is! I don't have to face tomorrow if I haven't gone to bed yet.” David has been thinking about this with his friend and colleague Noah, based on this book, Dopamine Nation. If we're not accommodated or assisted by something during a transition, and then you have nothing else to do, you are looking down a long dark hole of no dopamine—that's why the evening can look so hard. The road to sleep to extra awful, you have to sit still, you have to tolerate frustration and still yourself enough to go to sleep. David names: we are considered overtired if it takes less than 15 minutes to fall alseep—most ADHD folks, as an accommodation to not sit in the discomfort of staying still with no dopamine, don't hit the bed until they are beyond exhausted and just crash. Isabelle and Aaron disbelieve this. Isabelle does not compute that this is how people live, that people just lay there for 8, 10, 15 minutes and slowly go to sleep, this has never happened to her. Aaron gets anxious that he won't fall asleep in 5 minutes and then can't stand the guided meditation.  David will be snoring watching tv on the couch with his partner but doesn't confirm he is “tired." with Delayed sleep phase onset, this is a thing we struggle with. Accommodations for sleep? Did you use enough physical energy during the day? You can't go into a preferred activity before bed—you have to find weird shows or things that are interesting but not so interesting it will keep you awake. What is a preferred activity? If you're super into a video game, for example—if you can't sleep, don't play the video game. The things that you prefer and wake you up, engage your hyperfocus. What's the boring video game that's like paint by numbers? Isabelle will read nonfiction when she's not feeling very tired, but if she reads compelling fiction she will stay awake. Because, who wants to sit in boredom? These are tips that are not sleep hygiene or what you'd expect. So many tactics to help a kid fall asleep are there to help them get bored enough to stay still and not reach for a preferred activity. The most important task in the brain's development is boredom: One of the most important things is to experience boredom. It's really important and yet we run from it all the time. A neurotypicaly person needs to encounter a certain amount of boredom to get creative. But with ADHD, we are bored a 1000's of times more often in a day than a neurotypical does in a day, and the feeling of being bored is so caustic and our brain is so creative and thinking of fun things all the time. But because we encounter so many micromoments of boredom, it makes it really hard to tolerate the 10 or 15 minutes to fall asleep. Or try something on in the store. The moment of a transition that's boredom and hurts. When do we want to sit with it, when do you want to avoid it? David tries to stop listening to a D&D podcast he wants to, he's trying to train himself to be awake still and do it at a time and then fall asleep, instead of falling asleep when he crashes. AND there are literal sleep disturbances. People with ADHD have a much higher likelihood of getting a CPAP machine and sleep apnea, cause our physical necks are bigger (what?!). We have to think of social conventions made to busy people as problematic: are you folding your underwear because you're worried about them wrinkling? So many clothes are not wrinkling! Clean your clothes, but don't think you're failing at life if you're not folding laundry. Aaron requests more on sleep, and refers to an older episode by name "I'm not tired, you're tired!” David wonders: what would a Aaron tell his younger self if he had a 20 second time machine. He'd like to tell himself: “be brave, it's hard, it gets better. And look into ADHD earlier." The whole sequence of anxiety he's had to deal with has been altered by knowing about ADHD and being medicated. It's not just the medicine, it's finally having a reason for how his interior life is the way he is. If there's no reason, it's just your fault—why is Aaron a slob in his private places? It's not a character defect. But some people with ADHD are clean and tidy! Isabelle is one of these people—she just got a label maker and has been labeling her cabinets and pantry with things but then putting exclamation points at the end, so it says things like “BEANS!” “PASTA!” Referring back to Ep097, David names that Isabelle is a promoter: of pantry staples. But for Isabelle, she doesn't mind if others are making messes, she just needs things to be in order because otherwise they will move on her, it's a way to accommodate her working memory and find things again later. There isn't a right way to fit into this culture,. There's parts of ADHD culture—and theory of group dynamics, that says that people within a group have more things different between each other than they do with those outside of the group: ADHD is no different. Like medically: with depression, you can sleep not at all, or sleep a lot: these are opposite things and yet they all fall under the same diagnosis. Some things we can all relate to, like the way that we are hurt by our own integrity (not doing what we wanted or said we would do), our celebration and glee at remembering to do or finally doing the boring thing! Recognizing you have ADHD is a bit like parts of you being seen before, and suddenly all these associated pains --you don't know why you can't do what you want to do, and it has be to you. Aaron ties that back to his calvinist upbringing: “I wanted to do this, why did I forget?" It's the internal monologue we have to chance. There are parts of us that in a wheelchair and we keep coming at stairs. Isabelle references “I wanna to be a man in motion? All I need is this pair of wheels. Take me where the eagle's fly: St. Elmo's Fire."  ...

Isabelle and David continue to talk with David's brother's friend, Aaron, and contemplate why folks with ADHD can be so enthusiastic and excited about interests, people, etc. Is it because we are like puppies who are starved for reinforcement (dopamine)? Or does it come from living a life on the outside and the joy of connection when it has been missed for so long. With callbacks to Greatest American Hero (See Ep095) as well as the real story behind the theme song to St. Elmo's Fire.—-David describes how borrowing from LeDerick Horne and his brilliant theory around leadership, that folks in leadership can have a number of qualities, including being promoters. Folks with ADHD can be natural promoters, and being a promoter is actually a form of leading others. With the caveat that we must be into what we promote. And how excited we are about people and how we talk people up. David names that perhaps this has something to do with how we are starving (for dopamine) and intimacy and connection and relatedness can help us fill that void, we reach for the connection and get excited. Isabelle wonders if this relates to an autism(ASD)-style special interest, how she perpetually is excited and has a working principle that everyone could find common ground if we just found a shared hobby or special interest. David likes to tell people on airplanes that he's a car salesman so he can talk and listen to his heart's content but he doesn't have to focus on what he does. Isabelle names that even though David is not very savvy about cars, he could sell a car because he's such a natural salesperson. Isabelle names that anxiety around overselling things, she might encourage people to try new things, take new risks, explore and play—but her working memory is so poor that she doesn't know if she oversold, she has to refer to notes or something as reference. David loved serving as fun because there was a high degree of risk and failing so it helped me remember things. David names that we are not starving puppies with watery eyes, but we are highly susceptible to be reinforced, so when we see someone else's tail wagging, it shoots up our levels of dopamine, we are highly reinforced. The establishing operation—social connection and social mastery is water for us, like the water-deprived rats being reinforced in Skinner boxes. The environment makes Isabelle's puppy quality feel safe or good or not; and can lead to her feeling starved of that connection and reinforcement. The feeling when you have no one wagging their tail back at you—how many mistakes we do make, how many social gaffs and miscues, and big ones. It's almost like we find ourselves so marginalized, its like finding a prison gang when we find people who get us. What does it do to your sense of self when you can't do what you want with your morning—how that deflates your sense of self. Isabelle feels like she shares a bond with the other parents and caregivers that are always running late—it flares up imposter syndrome and “if you only saw me five minutes ago." David reframes this as "if only you saw what it took me to get here and I made it!" Aaron is a master of social engineering, even though he's almost always good at it and social interaction, he remains scared the whole time. The anxiety hits because if it doesn't work out, he takes the hits hard: he can take a lot of them, but they hit hard. David shares one of his hits—he was spending a lot of money for grad school, wanting to read all the books for all his classes, he was going to learn it all...but he didn't do any of the readings for one of his classes. The class was talking about this person out loud, “Ed Nafoah” — he was like "what is this Nafoah guy talking about ?” and everyone in class is like “Edna? Her name is Edna Foa.” It took five to ten minutes for David to feel the cabin pressure returning and the lights to come up and to return to his body. Aaron points out that his impulsivity could carry him through it—David had a ballast and in grad school and they were talking about different psychosocial backgrounds, step or two based on privilege. The professor holds up a dollar and says "the first person to…can have this dollar?” He's never seen someone authorized like that. Aaron sings the theme song from “The Greatest American Hero” which we all know, and the superhero suit is David's impulsivity. Who is Edna Foa?Greatest American Hero trailer (he is LITERALLY "walking on air")Story behind St. Elmo's Fire theme song, "Man in Motion" here's the music video and the song A quick synopsis of the backstory behind the song (Source: Wikipedia)And an interview with the songwriter/singer, John Parr, discussing how he came up with the idea and how he snuck it in to be the theme song for this 1980's Brat Pack Extravaganza. For more about our guest:Aaron Michael Ullrey (he/him)Writing and Editing Specialist, Editor in ChiefResearch Associate, Transcendence and TransformationCenter for the Study of World Religion (CSWR) at Harvard Divinity SchoolInstructor of Religious StudiesThe University of HoustonInstructor of Sanskrit LanguageUniversity of Naropa -----Cover Art by: Sol VázquezTechnical Support by: Bobby Richards

Are you sensitive to rejection? Does a tiny criticism cause an internalised sadness or externalised rage? Is it causing havoc in your life and relationships? Don't worry, you're not alone, and there is a solution.Dr James Kustow is a leading Harley Street psychiatrist and an adult ADHD expert. James also wrote the best selling book entitled How To Thrive With Adult ADHD.00:00 Trailer 01:04 Dedication 01:12 How RSD feels in our body 04:18 RSD visual analogies07:05 How RSD shows in your patients 18:52 Tiimo advert 21:44 How to manage RSD when your family triggers you26:50 How alcohol affects emotional regulation 29:54 Some common family events that trigger RSD, and how to manage them 35:01 Can loneliness be a trigger for RSD37:21 Will RSD ever be a medical diagnosis 40:59 What common social interactions might cause RSD that a Neurotypical person might be able to ignore?44:39 Are RSD and "people pleasing" connected? 45:44 Can RSD manifest in subtle ways that we don't notice 51:14 The RSD item (an orb)52:52 The ADHD agony aunt (How to manage family disagreements)56:29 How to find your passion 58:09 How RSD shows up at work (and how to manage it)01:00:11 Managing RSD in romantic relationships01:03:47 Does RSD present differently in different sexes?01:05:07 Can RSD get that bad that someone might want to end their life?01:06:26 Can RSD dip into the realm of paranoia?01:07:43 Why some people are never affected by rejection01:08:49 Should we believe everything our super sharp ADHD intuition tells us?01:11:43 3 tips on how we can we manage our RSD01:15:17 Is there a reframing of RSD to be a positive thing? 01:18:04 A letter from the previous guest (3 rules to live by)Introductory 60% off Dr James's Solo-Soma movement meditation

Does your brain feel like it's got 10 highly caffeinated squirrels running around in there? Do you wish you could calm those racing thoughts and reduce overwhelm? Todays guest is Wynford Dore. Wynford has developed an exercise-based programme that can be an effective treatment for people with ADHD and dyslexia. 00:00 Trailer 01:07 Dedication 01:26 Tiimo advert 03:48 ADHD item reveal 04:14 What role has ADHD and Dyslexia played in your life?07:02 The affect of the Dyslexia and ADHD inadequacies on someone's life08:46 What exactly is the cerebellum?14:53 How does the cerebellum appear differently in a Neurotypical compared to a Neurodiverse person? 22:09 The scientific unknowns surrounding the cerebellum, dyslexia and ADHD24:56 How important is the cerebellum's role in the ADHD brain27:45 How to train your cerebellum 33:33 The connection between intelligence and the cerebellum35:41 How many people have you tested and what are the tests to find out more about the cerebellum and their ADHD?43:12 Can an injured cerebellum cause ADHD45:26 ADHD item explanation 54:24 How to create urgency to beat overwhelm paralysis 01:00:01 The ADHD agony aunt (The washing machine of woes)01:03:10 What are most shocking findings that you have done in search for more information about what ADHD actually is?01:07:03 Why are 3% not affected by these exercises?01:09:38 What have your studies taught you about ADHD that our audience might be shocked by01:11:57 Is a person with ADHD keeping all of their strengths and losing their downsides a realistic outcome?01:15:35 A letter from the previous guest Visit Wynford's website

Isabelle and David welcome David's brother's friend, Aaron, who, as a recently diagnosed ADHDer, brings up the idea of if ADHD is a superpower, it's like the super suit in “Greatest American Hero:” a suit given with a manual that got lost on the first day of use. What happens when you find your ‘ingredient' for doing the things you previously struggled with and now can do? How does your self esteem and sense of self efficacy impact how you handle days when that ingredient is missing? This plus being puppy dogs together, tackling Mt. Laundry, and why intimacy beats contempt.----David and Isabelle welcome Aaron, a longtime friend of David's brother, who was recently diagnosed with ADHD as an adult. In thinking about ADHD, he thinks about this show from the 1970's, “Greatest American Hero,” where this teacher is given a superpower suit by some aliens, who also give him a manual for the suit, and he loses it on the first day, so he goes around saving people but also is seeking this manual and he always gives it up to save someone. He resonated with this character so much, and for Aaron, medication made a huge difference—he is able to wake up and do the thing and then he is able to do. He's been medicated for anxiety and depression his whole life and taking medication for ADHD doesn't make those go away, but it helps him be the person he always wanted to be. Isabelle so resonates with the suit metaphor and how she and Bobby attempted to make their home more ADHD friendly (see “Keeping House While Drowning” and all the ADHD friendly home tips below!) And she forgot her medication and instead of spiraling into anxiety, when she realized why she stalled out all day, she was able to recognize it was “oh, I was missing my ingredient.”  David points out that it's not just medication, because medication is not for everyone, it can be so many things, once we find out what the ingredient is—working out in the morning, the coffee routine, whatever it might be--when you all of a sudden miss it, you can pinpoint it and recover. Even more so, Aaron describes how it is a conscious habit, as a child of the 80's, he is not about the idea of 'working on his self-esteem,' but realizes through therapy and his conversations with David that it keeps coming up for a reason, there are wounds there that do shift when you are able to do some of the things you previously struggled with. David can recognize those nasty voices in our heads, the angry voice as a teenager to get himself to do things. Based on his arbitrary math, while it takes 6 weeks to build a neurological bridge, it takes 6 years to build a habit. He chose to make excitement that it will be over the habit over the anger over having to do it. Whether it's medication or nervousness or anxiety, David recognizes that something has to stimulate him so he has to choose his path and practice it. Aaron remembers his psychologist friend Dave 20 years ago sharing the 3 paths to happiness (he was studying at the time)—the first is excitement, the second is contempt (at least temporarily), and the third is intimacy. Aaron is excitable and comes from a contemptuous family and wants to focus on intimacy. This makes Isabelle make awkward spiders with her hands, the idea of gossiping and spreading shame makes you feel reassured and safe but also brings with it a threat and temporary condition; for Isabelle, intimacy means playfulness, curiosity, a willingness to see what happens next, and as David defines it: a shared vulnerability. Aaron ordered up BRAIN STUFF, and sadly David has no links, so Isabelle tries to fill it by talking about studies that connect to how we associate the negative talk about someone with the gossiper, not the subject of the gossip. David names that he does think ADHD is a superpower with a missing manual, and the tricky part is let's say we're talking unbridled enthusiasm: it's a superpower and contagious and also has an effect on the recipient. David names being okay with someone not wanting to be the recipient at this current moment. THE THINGS WE MENTIONED:Greatest American Hero Opening Credits (Worth it to finally see where this song comes from and for the flying haphazardly imagery)How to Keep House While Drowning by KC DavisSo You've Been Publicly Shamed by Jon Ronson"Punishing or praising gossipers: How people interpret the motives behind negative gossip shapes its consequences" (source: Social and Personality Psychology Compass)-----Cover Art by: Sol VázquezTechnical Support by: Bobby Richards

Break free from the overwhelm, shame, and constant battle with your ADHD. Order the Something Shiny ADHD Toolkit Series - available now until January 2nd, 2025! Does ADHD make you an overly optimistic puppy dog? Or the sprinkle of trickster magic in someone else's day? And is there really a "better" way to be, optimistic or pessimistic? From David being a prophetic hot dog vendor at Wrigley Field, to trickster archetypes, to the differences between vulnerable in the process of something or being vulnerable at the end, Isabelle and David dig into a totally unique way to consider optimism and pessimism as adaptive. ----Once upon a time, David sold hot dogs at Wrigley Field, yelling out “here's your hot dogs!” To do that, he talked differently, throwing the accent in so thick. This was during the McGuire/Sosa run streak, and he would say “Sammy's going to hit a home run to you in the 7th” and he had a 50% chance of being right and he made it a great time for those kids. This makes Isabelle think of Tricia Hersey, the Nap Minister, who has done all this work on systemic racism and the Black American experience, and rest as resistance or a form of activism. She also is talking about lot about trickster energy. Isabelle thinks about this in the form of ableism, how she talks and writes about trickster energy, and making magic in something that feels subversive and is part of the time as well as not a part of the time. Like David is performing the role of the hot dog vendor, but then because he predicts the ‘future' to the kid, he adds a twist to it and he becomes a full human, like more than a role. Isabelle's shortcuts often fall around domestic labor. David likes how it elevates the hot dog vendor to more than an NPC—after the game, if he predicted it was right, reclaims that he was actually a main character. But also it was greater than what David was doing. Isabelle notices that this lines up with a neurodivergent strength with ADHD, the going on tangents, the divergent tangents. Isabelle names that recently things have been really tough personally and professionally, and yet she has this relentless optimism; Isabelle can't help but bring in the playful energy. Is her optimism really about ADHD? David names that optimism is not about accuracy, it has to do with process. Optimism is: ‘it's not a loss until it is,” and you can be miserable for 3 weeks leading up to something or miserable for the one moment you feel the loss. But also, David warns, optimism can be dangerous when it comes to expectations. If you expect a piece of (astronaut) ice cream when you get home every day, it is a set up when you get upset you didn't get the astronaut ice cream. Optimism is radically accepting that we haven't lost until we have. In one hour we can feel sad, but right now, we can still win. For David it's how he can sit with his nervous system, it's changing the meaning of “in process.” Isabelle really likes this, as she is relentlessly optimistic. If she is more willing to take risks, if she doesn't have a big response cost, she doesn't have a great estimation of how hard or long something is going to be, a poor working memory, and it would track that overall she would get smacked in the face by a 2 x 4 and then wake up the next day and forget it ever happened. She doesn't remember the fails until she's failing again, and anything is possible until it isn't, or she remembers the fails but this time, it could be different. And, is part of that really a choice she's making or is it just a shortcut, a mental shortcut—you could call it optimism that she always leaves the house not accounting for traffic because she believes in parking magic. It would be way harder for her to keep all the possibilities in mind. David asks: are you forgetting to account for traffic? That's executive functioning stuff. Or are you optimistic about there being no traffic? If you're leaving late thinking you're going to get a good parking spot, the memory deficit reinforces this perspective. But isn't it easier to live with miracles and magic and not borrowing trouble? You're not ruining your present moment by fretting about something that hasn't happened yet. But if Isabelle could have accounted for her executive functioning maybe she could've avoided some thing. When we are struggling to pull out optimism in an area, we're looking at areas of self-esteem. It's really hard to be optimistic if you don't have a sense of mastery in who you are and what you're doing. You have to have a sense that you are enough or that you matter, you have to have some power or some say in a world. Survival mode, by necessity removes optimism, makes you pessimistic. When you've survived trauma, which is anything that overwhelms your sense of hope, what devalued or dehumanized you or left you feeling out of control, and it was something that Isabelle was internalizing something was the worst. Back in the day, in older versions of the DSM, included in PTSD was the idea of a ‘foreshortened future,” there's not way she could survive or make it through another developmental state. When you're in survival mode, you think you're getting all the important data, black and white, like an old news reel, you think you're getting all the information, but you're getting very little data, which can be both helpful and hurtful. Does optimism indicate the opposite of the trauma response? Is it an indicator you're not in the survival mode? But David names: optimism is not a better, pessimism is not a worse—both are accommodations and have their uses. Maybe you're more vulnerable in process, and less vulnerable at the end, so being optimistic is an adaptation for you. For someone else who is more vulnerable at the end and less vulnerable in process, being pessimistic would be an adaptation. We surrender parts of ourselves when we try to be somebody else, and David is a proponent of humanism, that humans as a whole make sense, and we're doing our best. He's not interested in optimism being used to invalidate pessimism or pessimism being used to invalidate optimism. NPC - Non-Playable or Non-Player Character: a term from gaming that refers to characters that cannot be played by the person playing the game. (Source: wikipedia).Nap Minister, Tricia Hersey and her book, Rest is ResistanceTrickster Archetype: (from Wikipedia): "a character in a story who exhibits a great degree of intellect or secret knowledge and uses it to play tricks or otherwise disobey normal rules and defy conventional behavior." Examples Isabelle mentioned include: Loki (norse mythology and the Marvel Universe), Anansi (Ashanti folklore)ADHD's links to optimism:The Positive Aspects of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder: A Qualitative Investigation of Successful Adults with ADHD (Source: ADHD Springer Journal)Incautiously Optimistic: Positively Valenced Cognitive Avoidance in Adult ADHD (Source: NIH/Cogn. Beh. Pract.)

Break free from the overwhelm, shame, and constant battle with your ADHD. Order the Something Shiny ADHD Toolkit Series - available now until January 2nd, 2025! How do you make your time off the most efficiently relaxing? Or unlock a peak game night or other family time experience? And why are we so hell bent on intensity of experience, versus frequency? David and Isabelle straddle talk of perfectionism, their own relationships to building time-off experiences, and how frequency is our friend, as well as the idea that perfectionism is not a dirty word, but perhaps relates to masking, needs for structure and predictability in neurodivergence.----Isabelle describes how her and Bobby would take time away just the two of them, and realized how time would move so differently, especially if they just let themselves hang out and not put extra pressure on the time off. David names that we focus so much on intensity of experiences (for Isabelle's family, the most intense all-inclusive Disney trip EVER!) versus frequency, when actually, you need more frequent interactions in order to have a template for how to be with each other. So maybe we do more time off or together time—more often, and lower the bar for what we have to do in that time? Isabelle struggles with this, however, in how she tackles family game nights, as family dinner might be something of a challenge for folks (let's not assume all families are functional and you want to spend time with each other, either). She goes to great lengths to set it up, get the snacks, the music, the setting…and she always wants to make it 2% better, but it often backfires or doesn't match up to any expectations. This brings her to her new hyper fixation, on perfectionism (see book she names, below). She describes how there's a type of perfectionist that seeks to have every part of a process go well, and if one part goes wrong, they throw it all away. This relates for her to being so in the present moment and struggling with what happened just before or just after, so she wants to nail each part of a get together. David does not relate to this, it brings up the fact he knows nothing can be perfect and in fact, he felt so ‘not enough' for much of his life, that he does not carry this. Isabelle describes how there's this type of perfectionism where you work really hard but you try to appear effortless (effortlessly styled, cool, fit, etc.) and David names how he wants to unlock peak experiences with minimal effort. Isabelle and David get into a debate about whether or not David might be a type of perfectionist, if you think of perfectionism as ambitions or goals or striving toward and ideal, and Isabelle's own journey exploring if she has autism, makes her think that maybe this is how she uses scripts in social settings, like she knows what her role is and what is expected of her and she wants to do it well. David names that if he puts great effort into it, then it doesn't count, except when he's making “D's Nuts,” a holiday spiced nut roasted sugared nut blend that blows minds in little mason jars every year. Isabelle finally gets what David means; he's going for peak efficiency, like he puts in no effort, and it's a HUGE win for the person. With D's nuts, it's extremely labor intensive and he's proud of it. Isabelle likes to give people shortcuts, like discount codes and bargains and feels so seen when David names he has benefited from her use of this many a time. The Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control by Katherine Morgan SchaflerTypes of perfectionists (per the book above, taken from Medium summary article)Classic perfectionist — They attempt to control essentially everything. This is the type we're all thinking of. They like structure and consistency. They tend to hold themselves to extremely high standards and are overachievers.Parisian perfectionist — This type wants to be perfectly liked by everyone in an effortless way. They have a sense of ideal connection and tend to be people pleasing to bridge that gap.Procrastinating perfectionist — These folks want the conditions to be ideal before they get started on a project. They have an ideal notion of how something might go, and are afraid of having it ruined with the reality of actually getting started.Messy perfectionist — This doesn't mean physically messy. What it means is that these folks have a hard time following through once a project has gotten underway. They believe that they can focus on multiple things without having to give anything up, but frequently don't finish what they started and have multiple projects in various states of completion at any given time.Intense perfectionist — These people can be extremely demanding of others. Think the boss that is exacting and keeps you at the office late. They have an ideal outcome or vision and are willing to be extremely unlikable in order to bring it to fruition.David makes “D's nuts.” For those not familiar with Chicago accents, here's an old SNL sketch that makes big use of this.-----Cover Art by: Sol VázquezTechnical Support by: Bobby Richards

Just in time for the mounting stress at the end of the year, here's an ADHD-friendly gift-giving guide! David and Isabelle have ideas, accommodations, and acceptance around giving and receiving gifts with neurodivergent folx. How hard it is to buy things for folx who impulsively purchase all (cheaper) things for themselves? How to tackle the mystery of huge shopping carts and no good memory if you bought the thing after all, or not? What to get your brilliant neurodivergent child (psss…it's the experience, not the shiny thing!)? And MORE!-----Aside from discussing how Isabelle has a cold and David thinks they could be like Voltron, David describes how he only buys things he can touch or get a use out of: dopamine will make you think something that looks shiny and cool (like a skin in a video game) is the thing to buy, but then the rush fades and your left without something useful. Dopamine releases around the potential of awesomeness, not actually the awesomeness. Think about how quickly something Isabelle gets hooked into having loaded shopping carts at various websites, especially around gift giving—she'll spend two hours hyper focusing on what to get and getting it, but when it comes time to buying something, she freezes and forgets to buy it and then doesn't remember if she bought it or not. David points out this is the inattentive part: the difficulty of making the choice. You also then log a memory of the check out screen (but not if you actually bought the thing or not). The shopping cart loading is externalizing your memory, using an accommodation to assist with working memory as you find things that might be potential gifts for people. David makes a point around buying something with a use case, even more so than quality of experience: can you specifically use it for something? Does it do something other than just sit there? Sometimes we don't want to use something up (like candles) because it feels too precious to use them. David names that he gets overwhelmed with too much stuff: he wants it all, but he doesn't want it all. For example, at a birthday when he got all five video games he wanted, when we get all that we want, all at once, we don't actually want it all. Give him five video games, but give him one each throughout several months. What if you could rotate toys (Isabelle calls this toy store with her kids) and wishes she could do this with herself. They hit upon that subscription boxes as a cool solution. David names as that someone who is impulsive, there is nothing he wants under $20 he hasn't bought for himself. If you're debating getting the expensive thing but caught with decision paralysis, average out how much the thing costs per use (for example, a coffee machine ends up being $1 per cup of coffee for a whole year) and then decide if it's worth the 5% boost in your day. David names finding the win for yourself: finding the win/lose condition and setting yourself up for a win. That includes receiving gifts: make it simple for your gift givers! You like bunnies? Get bunnies. Set up your givers for a win. Isabelle describes loving to browse a store, but hating to have to make a buying decision, while David thinks of the gift that someone would be embarrassed to buy for themselves but could not reject (without it being silly, such as a 15 lb. Bag of gummy bears). Both inattentive and impulsive types of ADHD lead to self-doubt, but it's how many times we touch that doubt: for inattentive type, it's a lot before buying something. For impulsive type, it's huge the moment you hand the gift over and wonder if you haven't made a mistake. Isabelle ponders a giant sized Toblerone, David recalls how disconcerting holding a huge gummy bear actually was. For kids, consider the experience of going to the store and getting to impulsively choose the thing they want for themselves. Preserve the magic of the buy: the parent/guardian/gift giver has zero interest in how great the gift is: if they have buyer's remorse, that's learning, it's important, not a failed gift. What is Voltron? I mean, the logo alone… Quick visual searches (not endorsing any particular brand, just for reference):Giant Gummy BearGiant Toblerone  DAVID'S DEFINITIONS Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD), where you interpret feedback or questions or redirections as being very harsh and personal, and then really take it to heart—even if that's not really what is being communicated to you. Can be present a lot with folx with ADHD.Use case: Does a thing do something other than just sit there? There is a case for how you'd use it.Thoughts on gift givingDopamine releases around the potential of awesomeness, not the actual awesomeness. Make it a win/lose, and set yourself up for a win, and those giving you gifts for a win: pick something you Harness your impulsivity: follow your first instinct. Be outrageous.Don't expect doubt to go away: there's a chaotic variable in giving in a gift, a novel way the person could react.Think about things that people maybe would never buy for themselves but they would not reject (run the scenario, pretend you're mad at the gift you just gave)—for example, two 15 lb. Bags of gummy bears. It'd be silly for someone to reject it and it'd make a funny story if they do.Advice for kids: create a day to go to the store with the kid so they can pick out what they impulsively want that day. Give them the power to choose. Predetermine budget or safety issues, but otherwise, no micromanaging. Even with buyer's remorse, there's a lesson and it's okay. -----Cover Art by: Sol VázquezTechnical Support by: Bobby Richards

Imagine harnessing ADHD as both a superpower and a challenge in the fast-paced contracting world. Clark Turner and James McConnell unravel the key between ADHD and motivation, offering insights from their personal journeys. Discover how ADHD's unique motivation drivers—interest, urgency, and immediate consequences—can shape a business owner's experience, differing strikingly from neurotypical patterns. Through their stories, learn how self-awareness can turn potential hurdles into opportunities for growth and innovation in your business endeavors.In our exploration of productivity and time management, we tackle the constant tug-of-war between perfection and practicality. Learn from Clark and James as they discuss strategies to prioritize essential tasks and leverage calendars as tools for mental well-being and business health. Embrace morning routines, optimal work environments, and accountability as crucial elements for managing ADHD in business. Through their candid reflections, our guests offer a roadmap for entrepreneurs seeking to maximize their potential by balancing the allure of novelty with the necessity of structure and discipline.*This is not medical advice and is based off our own personal experiencesJoin us at our Annual Growth Retreat, held in Nashville, TN from January 13th to January 14th, 2025. Together, we'll peer into the future, envision where you want to take your business, and craft strategic goals for the upcoming 12 months. It's the ultimate opportunity to start the year off with a bang and set yourself up for successGo to https://prostruct360.com/annual-growth-retreat/ to sign up now or email us to learn more about scholarship opportunities.Have a question or an idea to improve the podcast? Email us at team@prostruct360.com or text us at +1 (678) 940-5747 Want to learn more about our software or coaching? Visit our website at ProStruct360.com

Take two minutes to share your ADHD story at SomethingShinyPodcast.com/Survey! Your input will help us shape future episodes and tools that make a difference for all neurodivergent folks. We can't wait to hear from you!How do you survive holiday travel with ADHD? What about traveling with children, particularly small children? And what happens when you find yourself rushing, leaving things until the last minute, and forgetting your charger once again? David and Isabelle swap stories and share specific tips to traveling and also discuss WHY ARE THERE SOCK NUBBINS AND TAGS. Seriously.-----There can be so much pressure to have a Hallmark, picture-postcard perfect holiday and it's so important to revise those expectations and think about what you actually want to do, for example, maybe it's “we go to the this house, tolerate everyone for 45 minutes, you grab the turkey, I grab the mashed potatoes, and we leave.” And what about the uncomfortable holiday clothes? Isabelle laughs and mentions a brilliant SNL fake ad for Macy's that's all about children's clothing and how uncomfortable it is. David describes this might be where task meets emotionality (for definition, see below)—is the task of the holidays spending time with family? David remembers the holidays being hard, everyone fighting on the way there and then fine when they got home, and wearing uncomfortable clothes, and just wanting to leave and it being awful. Isabelle remembers coming home so late and it was freezing and trying to sleep in the back seat, freezing. David had the experience going to his partner's holiday celebrations and—they don't have ADHD—everyone got along, hung out, sang songs, played piano—and this is real? Friendsgiving is a thing, and you can make choices, what you do for holidays is a choice: like winter is a choice. Anytime you feel trapped or caught in something, changing the language to “I'm choosing to do blank because blank…” with what needs your meeting with it, changes it from you “have to go see Meemaw” You can take the shoulds, musts, and have-to and change it to choices. And maybe Meemaw doesn't care what you wear, she just wants to see you. WHY ARE THERE TAGS IN CLOTHING? And NUBBINS ON SOCKS? We have evolved so many incredible things, we have AI, we have genome sequencing, and we have sock nubbins, and who invented pantyhose and shapewear. David likes shape wear because the underarmour stuff he wears is nice and tight. Isabelle describes that it's more designed to smush you in and sometimes it's great—this is maybe Isabelle's trauma after being a 6 ft woman at 14 year old, so she was fitting into shape wear and pantyhose as a kid and hated it so much and it was so uncomfortable. David always got all these hand-me-down socks that were in a constant state of yawn—now David gets the really tight socks that stay up all day, “look at you sock, staying up all day!” And transitioning back to travel—and sometimes travel is really hard because we're pushing ourselves harder than we should. Having the toolbox is just as important on the airplane or airport, or knowing how long you're waiting with a toolbox. Whoever's doing the traveling, your self care is the most important: you can't control your kids being miserable, they will be, you have to put your oxygen mask, go at your pace, go at your tolerance. Kids will fall apart. You need to be there for them when they do. So what do you need to be there for them? Maybe it's a treat, maybe it's slowing down—take care of you. Pack the day before. And always include an extra day back at home before transitioning back. You can change the day back—the end is always going to be the end of the vacation, but you being able to have a different re-entry ritual into your day to day can be game changing. Isabelle shares some tips from her own front line experiences, such as when driving from Indianapolis from Nashville as part of moving, when she forgot the iPad…and everything else, and her kid was stuck in the way back for hours bored out of their mind. Needless to say, iPads are last steps, so it's a plan B, but it forces them to have lots of plan A—and on this trip, she forgot all the plan B's and A's. And everyone is going to have a meltdown—Isabelle, as mom, will also have a breakdown. It doesn't matter how prepared you are, travel will break you at some point. Travel with kids is courting brilliant memories of chaos, so she anticipates and plans on her having a breakdown. So she tells herself that “I'm a good mom who's reached her limit.” You're trained from babyhood to meet their needs all the time, but it's a set up, the game is rigged, and part of the rigging is us thinking we're never going to lose it ourselves. Maybe it's the rule, not the exception. What about outsourcing, like checking your bags curbside, strapping your kid into the carseat on the plane (because they're used to it and airplane seatbelts do nothing). Be kind to yourself. There's also this idea that a vacation and a trip with kids are two separate things. The labor does not change, but increases, but the expectation for fun and frivolity is also increased, but maybe change the expectations inside. Also okay if it's extra hard because it actually really is. Take the wins. David names that it's very hard to hold dialectics, to opposing truths: you can love your kids and they can be too much, really hard, really frustrating. You need to find yourself a support group that can validate all the truths. For David, being a child who had ADHD, and seeing people with kids travel, and typically things feel better when there isn't as much pressure, when you're not rushing at the last minute, and have everything you need. Accepting that all of those things are going to be harder with ADHD and smiling when those things don't happen is the key. Accept that win, when you actually remember the charger. We can also flip the shame spiral into gratitude because you can maybe get the thing when you arrive, and David has needed to buy pretty much everything on arrival. Anything important, the things you can't live without, phone stuff, medication, certain items, should be carry-ons. If ever possible, don't check a bag, have a very compacted carry on. SNL Fake Macy's commercial for children's uncomfortable clothingDAVID'S DEFINITIONSTASK V. EMOTIONALITYTask: what you're trying to do - the ‘work' of a group or a person. for example: I am finishing my project this weekend.Emotionality: what you do to prepare to do a task - beliefs/fears/assumptions about what you're doingfor example: I'm doing it wrong/right, I always procrastinate, big fear you'll never get it done, dream that someone will come and save you from having to do it, etc. Traveling survival tipsPrep your go-bag, tool kit (and consider several plans, not just one, like the ipad, because batteries die)Kids will fall apart. They will fall apart when they travel. Be there when they do. What do you need to do to be there for them? Go at your pace. Pick up a treat. Do things to make it easier on you. Get ready to leave the night before. Have things packed. Plan to have a day off on...

Take two minutes to share your ADHD story at SomethingShinyPodcast.com/Survey! Your input will help us shape future episodes and tools that make a difference for all neurodivergent folks. We can't wait to hear from you!How do you survive family dinners? Sitting at a table until everyone is done? Overstimulation? Sticky conversations and setting boundaries?  David and Isabelle talk concrete tips for getting through family dinners, and even enjoying them—and the truth behind ear worm songs' lyrics that may pop your Thanksgiving Day Parade Spiderman balloons.----David and Isabelle name that any time you're meeting with family, traveling, disrupting routine, and then you throw in kids—how do we do this? Let's start with dinner, and then work our way back to how you get there. Whenever you're going out to eat with family…family is a tricky word. Family describes ritual—people who get together at different times, don't have to be related. Whoever is in your network, where you go. Kids really need help knowing the story behind people, understanding the story behind Uncle Jack and Aunt Sue—it can help create connecting moments by throwing in novelty. Kids can be really honest and if it's boring, they may ask: “Why are you boring?” Also, we love Aunt Sue. Partners might use this, too, not just kids. Let alone how family stuff can be so loaded, you may not want to share the same room with some people, there can be anxiety, and anticipatory dread. Part when you're going to go visit v. hosting—how do we cope with the different layers of anxiety. With a heavier family situation—bring the toolbox, especially with kids. Before you leave, have a backpack, help your child pick toys (even if they're 14), headphones, and talk about where you can use your phone or play games. What about the interesting power struggle of having kids sit at the table until everyone is finished eating—let's think about that differently, because sitting for that long is so hard for kids, and adults, with ADHD—and why is hosting so FUN, because you're always translating your restlessness into effective hosting. Most people with ADHD fall into really good host and amazing networker, and we can also know how to help people feel connected and welcome because we know how hard it can be to be isolated. Take breaks with your child. Be honest about how long it's going to be (like 3.5 hours, not "just 15 more minutes"), and be realistic about what battles you're going to pick with your child.  Sometimes when we think about social norms we're trying to show and build the frustration tolerance in our children—we place such a load and raise the stakes so much for the holidays, and we forget that that is a set up with kids. The more you raise the expectations and raise the stakes, the more it's asking for disaster. For the parents who feel that pressure, judgment, and family rules—really hard to have an unreasonable expectations and have them passed on. Can be helped to know that expectations are resentments waiting to happen—and let the table know the expectation we're actually dealing with (eg. We're trying to help kid finish food, as opposed to sit quietly for an hour). Have a wonderful moment with your family, knowing that the most unconventional moments are the memory makers. Also can be really overstimulating, and have a plan for what to do then ahead of time, and how to manage that. How do we recognize we are overstimulated? Isabelle went to Costco and only realized 3 hours later how she was overstimulated. We're all going to feel things differently, but certain things will always be overstimulating: loud noise (increases heart rate) and triggers your fear response. Think about that moment you left a loud concert or house party and that moment when you walk into the cold night air and then you take a breath—knowing that we're overstimulated is really hard to notice (want to work on with a therapist or close friend)—we can tolerate the heat getting turned up really high and we don't notice it until it's at a certain point. David knows he's overstimulated when he's worried about breaking things or bumping into people. When Isabelle starts to feel she's obstacle coursing it, that's when she's overstimulated. Sometimes being overstimulated is really good, or really bad—it's not necessarily one thing or another: it's what's appropriate for the moment. David will sometimes look at his partner where she's like “we don't have time for that.” Getting signs and knowing these things, like with your kid—“I noticed that you were walking around with your hands balled up”—“can I check in on you at Meemaw's house when you're hands are clenched, maybe we can go on a walk with me?” Walks are important intervention: changes environment, smells open up, visual stimulation, movement. Or have a place in Dodge—a weighted blanket in the basement, watch a couple of TikTok's. Isabelle describes the giant mega Christmas party they'd attend that included all these pockets of peace and respite—like smoke breaks (side note: folx with ADHD being drawn to the stimulant with nicotine, but also the habit of taking breaks with a few different people). How valuable it might be not only notice your kid's cues and give them prompting, but also how it might feel for your kid “I'm getting overstimulated, you know I notice my jaw is tight, and I feel like I'm going to bump into things a lot, I need to go for a walk, want to come with me?” We want to make “Calm Down!” not a swear word. It's usually the opposite effect—we're often not saying this to ourselves, we're telling other people to do it. Do it with a partner, the more premeditated it is—you can be predictable and take a break. Boundaries are not personal, even though they almost always feel that way. David uses the example of the briefcase where he keeps his notes—if he saw anyone going near it, he'd freak out, because it has to do with his boundary around client confidentiality, but it's not about who is doing it (whether it's a stranger or a partner). You can set the boundary just by changing the subject. We take boundaries personally, we also think boundaries are about what we're asking the other person to do, when actually—(pause for effect)—the boundary is what you're going to do. For example, Isabelle will find herself being asked for therapeutic advice at family functions, but the boundary when she doesn't want someone to talk about the thing, but it's the moment she changes the subject, walks away, etc. it's the moment where I actually set the boundary for myself. It's not about getting the person to stop talking, it's giving them something to chew on, like a sandwich, so they can't talk about it. And another caveat: as inveterate people pleaser, Isabelle's discomfort shoots up, and it doesn't feel better to her to set a boundary, but it's a short term huge burst of discomfort that she's trading for a long haul sense of self-betrayal, or being worn down, or all the bigger consequences that come from not having a boundary. You tend to have to set boundaries again and again, and it rarely gets easier, you just get more well versed at how you do it. This reminds David of putting on sunscreen—it's so gross, he hates the greasy stuff, but it's better than getting the sunburn. The boundary setting can be announced or not announced. And one of the powers of ADHD: engage ADHD distraction mode when someone starts talking about something you're not about. Like do Delorians need special garages so the doors would still open? Like mo...

An episode that takes on the heavy lifting.Here's what's packed into this episode: * In this episode, we tackle the autistic hell that is moving — diving into all the intricate details, overwhelming processes, and sharing strategies for coping through it all.* Our hosts discuss Matt's recent move and explore the time-consuming yet worthwhile systems autistic individuals often need to implement to stay comfortable and regulated in their own homes.* Matt and Angela dive into the art of emotional regulation and why it's such a foundational task for autistic folks. They also discuss how to incorporate emotional regulation strategies into the moving process as much as possible.* We discuss the importance of having our own Autistic Survival Packs in each room of the house and how crucial they are for regulation. Angela shares some of her essential items, including eye drops, nail files, phone chargers, and blankets for temperature regulation—a common issue for many autistic individuals.* In this episode, we also dive into how autistic folks often have a predisposition toward hoarding and emotional attachments to their belongings, and explore ways to break this generational curse.“As you know, we [autistic people] process 42% more information at rest than neurotypical people. Because of that, our brains are always churning through the data and always looking at the variables. Our brains are much more variable-focused. We're much more detail-oriented than neurotypical people. Neurotypical people are big-picture people. We are the minutiae. And when it comes to moving, it's all about the minutiae. ” - Matt“There's a lot of stuff that we [autistic folks] don't have opinions on - but when we do have opinions, we have f*****g strong opinions. And when we find something that just clicks with us, we need it. You need your mattress.” - Matt“Emotional regulation is our biggest job as autistic people. It's a full-time job, it's our number one job. There are going to be times you're dysregulated. You're gonna have to go to court, you're gonna have to go to the DMV, a cop is going to pull you over. You are going to be dysregulated some of the time. And so every single second you can possibly control being emotionally regulated, that's your job to put first in order.” - Angela“Well, so this is the thing about the ‘tism, right? Because again, the neurotypicals only know us by our deficits, but we only have the deficits when we're dysregulated. We only have the deficits when we are out of our element, when we are desperately trying to accommodate everyone else and everything else. We have to do that for us first. And in order to be a functional human being, you need to have that regulation.” - Matt“Is one of your techniques [for phone calls] is as soon as the phone picks up, I just start screaming ‘agent, agent, agent, f**k you, agent, let me talk to a person, f**k you. Do you do that? Is that your technique? It doesn't work, but it is my approach.” - Angela Did you catch the whirlwind of emotions that come with moving? In today's episode, we're diving deep into Matt's recent move and all the unexpected hurdles along the way! Thanks for tuning in! Share your thoughts in the comments, and use #AutisticCultureCatch to connect with fellow listeners on social media. Which moments or insights from Matt's story resonate with your own moving experiences?Resources:*The* Viral Tiktok Shower Head - Ziffit - Sell Your Books Matt's Favorite Disney Coffee Related Episodes:Questlove Is AutisticReady for a paradigm shift that empowers Autistics? Help spread the news!Follow us on InstagramFind us on Apple Podcasts and SpotifyLearn more about Matt at Matt Lowry, LPPJoin Matt's Autistic Connections Facebook GroupLearn more about Angela at AngelaKingdon.com Angela's social media: Twitter and TikTokOur Autism-affirming merch shop This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.autisticculturepodcast.com/subscribe

This episode of the Autism ADHD podcast is all about double empathy and the double empathy problem. Join me, Holly Blanc Moses, and Dr. Matt Zakreski, neurodivergent psychologists, as we chat about misunderstandings, emotional processing, assumptions and social communication. The episode also highlights Dr. Matt's book, which offers practical strategies for supporting neurodivergent individuals, making it a valuable resource for parents, educators, and professionals. Sincerely, Holly Blanc Moses, The Mom/Neurodivergent Therapist CLICK HERE for Holly's ONE STOP RESOURCE - Social Success Guide, Behavior Guide, Parent Workshops and MORE! Learn more about Holly's private practice in North Carolina Learn more about Holly's continuing education training for mental health therapists Learn more about Dr. Matt Get the Neurodiversity Playbook ⭐️Join the Facebook Groups ➡️ Parents, Come on over and join the Autism ADHD Facebook Group for Parents ➡️ Professionals, Join the Facebook Group for Therapists and Educators  Learn more about Dr. Matt

In this episode, we welcome Sarah Habib, founder of The Calm Caterpillar, who shares her journey in creating tools that help children, both neurotypical and neurodivergent, manage big emotions. Sarah's calm corner kits and sensory aids are transforming classrooms and homes by fostering emotional regulation and reducing disruptions. Hear how she's making a difference nationwide, including her inspiring work in Uvalde, Texas. Tune in to learn more about building compassionate, neurodiversity-affirming spaces for kids! Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/1kzqoTm_XGM Bio:  Sarah Habib Sarah is a renowned educator and advocate for student wellness, with extensive experience spanning hundreds of schools and districts nationwide. Over her career, Sarah has collaborated closely with principals from elementary through high schools, helping to shape and support environments where both students and educators thrive. Her leadership in professional training has empowered countless administrators and teachers, equipping them with the tools and strategies needed to foster holistic development within their schools. One of Sarah's notable contributions includes her work with the Uvalde school district, where she trained guidance counselors to implement calm spaces in schools, fostering environments that support emotional regulation and improve classroom behavior. This initiative exemplifies her commitment to providing actionable, compassionate solutions that address both immediate needs and long-term well-being. As an inventor and entrepreneur, Sarah developed unique tools that enhance children's breathing techniques and emotional regulation, impacting thousands of families. Since 2017, her curriculum has grown from a single-school initiative to an essential program across 45 schools, reaching over 10,000 students, with more than 2,000 engaging weekly. Her program serves students from ages two to eighteen and fulfills Ohio's state requirements for Social and Emotional Learning for Cincinnati Public Preschool students. Sarah's dedication to mindfulness extends through her nearly decade-long leadership of a non-profit focused on movement and mindfulness, promoting a balanced approach to education that values both mental and physical well-being. To ensure the effectiveness of her curriculum, she has co-sponsored a range of scientific studies, establishing an evidence-based foundation for her tools and training programs. Academically, Sarah holds a Bachelor of Arts from Tufts University. She also has a certification in Z-Health, a movement training system that uses neuroscience to enhance performance, and a certification from Mindful Schools. Her work is a testament to her vision of education as a comprehensive journey, where wellness and learning go hand in hand, fostering environments where both students and educators can thrive. Connect With Sarah: Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/thecalmcaterpillar/?hl=en Website: thecalmcaterpillar.com Email: sarah@thecalmcaterpillar.com Resources Mentioned: ACES info: https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/aces/about.html ACES info: https://healthy.kaiserpermanente.org/health-wellness/health-encyclopedia/he.understanding-how-adverse-childhood-experiences-aces-can-affect-children.acm1499 The Calm Caterpillar products: https://thecalmcaterpillar.com/collections/shop-all Discount code of 15%: AutismLittleLearners Topics Covered: Introduction: Sarah Habib, founder of Calm Caterpillar, aims to help neurodivergent children manage emotions through practical skills. Origin: Launched during the pandemic to support families in Cincinnati Public Schools, fostering consistency between home and school. Calm Corner Kits: Distributed 2,200 kits to preschoolers, featuring meditation cushions and breathing tools, with 86% parent engagement through bi-weekly texts. Behavioral Impact: Reduced classroom disruptions and enhanced pro-social skills, highlighting the need for emotional regulation practice at home and school. Product Development: Created tools like "Calming," a weighted plush, and "Bloomy," a tactile breathing tool for teaching breathing techniques. Teaching Techniques: Focuses on teaching breathing in calm states, using co-regulation, and modeling behavior for children. Buddy Breathing: Introduced a hand-tracing breathing technique adaptable for both neurotypical and neurodivergent children. Calm Corner Implementation: Advocates for calm corners in classrooms for self-regulation and independent breathing practice. Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs): Addresses ACEs' impact on emotional health and the role of mindfulness in mitigation. Uvalde Initiative: Provided calm corner kits and training to Uvalde school counselors post-shooting, emphasizing emotional management. Collaboration and Resources: Offers customizable kits for schools and promotes collaboration with educators and caregivers for emotional regulation strategies. You may also be interested in these supports: Visual Support Starter Set  Visual Supports Facebook Group Autism Little Learners on Instagram Autism Little Learners on Facebook Submit a question for the Q&A episodes.  Ask me anything and tune in to see if your question is featured on the show!    

This week on the pod we chat with Marie Masse (pronounced ‘moss') about special interests and creativity. Marie is part of our little ND Woman Pod team, and she has been the creative genius behind pretty much everything except the actual episodes themselves, so if you follow us on socials, or you've checked out our website, or you've downloaded one of our gorgeous PDF episode articles, you've definitely seen her work!   Marie is a late-identified 2e AuDHDer with two neurodivergent kids, navigating life with OCD and chronic health conditions —mostly from her creative sanctuary: a little cabin in the Blue Ridge Mountains in the USA. During a period of trauma and burnout, Marie lost access to her most sacred interest—her creative process—but has since reclaimed it, proving that healing and recovery are possible. Since 2013, she has crafted over 300 creations—articles, digital tools, guides, books, podcast episodes, and transformative programs centred around story work. Her creations invite others to stay awake to the tiny stories that shape their lives and use them as opportunities to heal, thrive, and live fully expressed.   On this episode we cover:  How Marie thinks about neurodivergence and her path to discovering her own neurodivergence. How ‘special interests' manifest for Marie. The difference between Autistic, ADHD, and AuDHD special interests. The centrality of special interests as an ‘organising force' for autistic folk. Marie's experience of losing access to her creative process (her special interest). The difference between living a ‘balanced' life for neurotypicals, versus what ‘balance' can look like for neurodivergent people. Marie's experience of her special interests in childhood. How the internet has made interests and interest-based connections more accessible for neurodivergent folk. Neurotypical special interests. Marie explains ‘story work'.     You can find Marie's work through her website – www.dangerouslygoodstories.com – on Instagram @dangerouslygoodstories and @myneurodivergentjoy, or through her Substack (Live Like You Mean It).   Want polished copies of our episodes in beautiful and readable pdf article format? Grab them here.    Enjoyed the episode and want to support us further? Join our Patreon community! Patreon subscribers receive basic episode transcripts from Season 4 onwards, access to a monthly live zoom hang out, 50% off our episode articles, plus bonus monthly content (depending on subscription tier). Check out our Patreon page to support us, as we aim to make quality mental health care information accessible to everyone: www.patreon.com/ndwomanpod.   Contact us at ndwomanpod@gmail.com, or visit our website: www.ndwomanpod.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

My guest for today's show is likely no stranger to you. He's been on the podcast before, we've co-hosted special live events focused on the mental health crisis among neurodivergent kids, and he's a key figure in the differently wired revolution. Through his speaking engagements, work as a therapist for kids and adults, and his own lived experience as a neurodivergent individual, he's a powerful advocate for understanding and supporting neurodivergent students. Yes, I'm talking about Dr. Matt Zakreski. Today, I'm thrilled to have him back to dive into his brand-new book, Neurodiversity Playbook: How Neurodivergent People Can Crack the Code of Living in a Neurotypical World. Full disclosure: I wrote the foreword for this book, and I was honored to do so because it's such a valuable resource for so many people. In the foreword, and what I'll share with you now, is that Matt's book encourages readers to embrace the full neurodivergent experience, offering deep understanding, validation, and a wealth of practical ideas to help “crack the code” and design a life on their own terms. Neurodiversity Playbook feels like a warm “welcome to the Club” for neurodivergent individuals and those who love and support them. In this conversation, while we couldn't cover everything in the book, we touched on some of the big concepts, including why grounding discussions in neuroscience is key to understanding neurodivergence, how to navigate tricky everyday situations like making small talk, and how awareness of neurodiversity has evolved over the years. We also explored code-switching as an empowering tool and how to do it with intention and choice.   About Dr. Matt Zakresk Matthew “Dr. Matt” Zakreski, PsyD is a high energy, creative clinical psychologist and professional speaker who utilizes an eclectic approach to meet the specific needs of his neurodivergent clients. He is proud to serve the Gifted community as a consultant, a professor, an author, and a researcher. He has spoken hundreds of times all over the world about supporting neurodivergent kids. He is the co-founder of The Neurodiversity Collective and the author of the The Neurodiversity Playbook: How Neurodivergent People Can Crack the Code of Living in a Neurotypical World.   Things you'll learn from this episode How Dr. Matt's personal journey informs his professional work and shapes his approach to neurodiversity. How neurodiversity awareness has significantly evolved over the years and there is significant progress in understanding. How grounding discussions in neuroscience is crucial for understanding neurodivergence. How the Neurodiversity Playbook aims to be a practical guide to help neurodivergent humans navigate a neurotypical world. How code-switching can be a useful tool for neurodivergent individuals and enhance their ability to adapt. Why compromise is essential for fostering understanding and bridging communication gaps between neurodivergent and neurotypical people.   Resources mentioned Dr. Matt Zakreski's website The Neurodiversity Playbook: How Neurodivergent People Can Crack the Code of Living in a Neurotypical World by Dr. Matt Zakreski The Neurodiversity Collective Dr. Matt Zakreski on Facebook Suicide and Suicidal Ideation in Neurodivergent Teens & Children, with Dr. Matt Zakreski (Tilt Parenting Podcast) Dr. Matt Zakreski dialogues on Gifted Homeschooler Forum Failure is FUN…damental (Matt's talk about National Talent Centre of the Netherlands) Mental Health Check-In Masterclass with Matt Zakreski and Debbie Reber, Part 1 Mental Health Check-In Masterclass with Matt Zakreski and Debbie Reber, Part 2 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices