Sarah interviews and has candid conversations with other women who realized they were queer (and/or are coming out) after they were 30 years old. Topics include repression, suppression, denial, heteronormativity, societal pressure, religious trauma, family backgrounds, and more.
Anne-Marie Zanzal, a coming out coach and former chaplain, shares her profound journey of self-discovery and acceptance after coming out later in life. She discusses the complexities of navigating her sexuality while being married and raising children, emphasizing the importance of community and support for those in similar situations. Anne-Marie highlights the concepts of cognitive dissonance, internalized homophobia, and compulsory heterosexuality, shedding light on the challenges many face when reconciling their identities with societal expectations. Through her personal story and professional work, she aims to help others find their own paths to authenticity. Listeners will gain insight into the significance of kindness, shared experiences, and mindfulness in the coming out process, along with practical tips for those considering their own journey.Anne-Marie Zanzal joins Sarah St. John to share her profound journey of self-discovery and coming out as a queer woman later in life. Having spent years grappling with her identity, Anne-Marie reflects on her early experiences with attraction and the societal pressures that led her to suppress her true self. Her candid recounting of moments filled with shame and confusion resonates with many who have felt the weight of societal expectations. The episode explores the complexities of navigating one's sexuality amidst a heteronormative environment, highlighting the importance of community support and the journey toward self-acceptance. Anne-Marie's story serves not only as a personal narrative but as a beacon of hope for those who may be struggling with their identities, emphasizing the idea that it's never too late to embrace who you truly are. As the conversation unfolds, the dialogue shifts toward the themes of internalized homophobia and cognitive dissonance that often accompany late-in-life realizations of queerness. Anne-Marie articulates the challenges faced by individuals who have lived much of their lives conforming to societal norms, only to discover that their true selves have been stifled. Her insights into the psychological aspects of coming out, including the necessity of creating new neural pathways in the brain to accommodate a shift in identity, provide listeners with a deeper understanding of the emotional intricacies involved. The discussion also touches on how Anne-Marie transformed her experiences into a supportive framework for others, ultimately becoming a coming out coach to guide women through similar journeys.Takeaways: Anne-Marie Zanzal discusses her journey of coming out later in life and how she navigated her sexuality. The importance of community and support for those coming out later in life is emphasized throughout the episode. Zanzal highlights the concept of compulsory heterosexuality and how it affects one's self-acceptance and identity. Cognitive dissonance plays a significant role in the struggle to reconcile one's feelings and societal expectations. Understanding terms like internalized homophobia and heteronormativity can help clarify one's own struggles. Anne-Marie advocates for small, actionable steps in exploring one's identity and finding supportive communities. Resourceshttps://annemariezanzal.com/ https://wingwomenweekend.com/https://comingoutsupport.net/coaching-program(use coupon code Lesbihonest for 10% off any services)
Episode SummaryHow would you feel if you discovered your true sexuality after years of marriage and starting a family? Join us as we explore the remarkable stories of Aime and Lisa, two brave women who came to terms with their lesbian identities in their 30s. They share their deeply personal journeys of self-discovery, reflecting on the societal pressures and personal expectations that initially concealed their true selves. Through their candid conversations, Aime recounts her apathy towards men and the suppressed feelings for women, while Lisa narrates her pursuit of an elusive sense that led her to her authentic self.In a heartfelt discussion, we unravel the emotional complexities of coming out later in life. From supportive families to the arduous path of self-acceptance, Aime and Lisa offer contrasting yet equally moving narratives. They discuss the importance of self-reflection and the powerful impact of finding others who share similar experiences. We explore the courage it takes to confront internal conflicts and the eventual liberation that comes with embracing one's true identity, highlighted by an anonymous online exchange that underscores fear, vulnerability, and courage.Transitioning from heterosexual marriages to a same-sex relationship presents its own set of challenges, and Aime and Lisa don't shy away from sharing their struggles. They talk about their early meetings filled with confusion, the difficult conversations with their ex-husbands, and the need to prioritize their children's well-being. The episode also delves into the cultural and generational hurdles of coming out to traditional Sicilian parents, and the ongoing journey of blending families with love, patience, and grace. Listen in to understand the significance of living authentically and the resilience required to build a new life together.Chapter 1: Late-Life LesbiansThe episode begins with an introduction to Aime and Lisa, both late-life lesbians who discovered their true sexualities in their 30s after being married to men and having children. Reflecting on their individual paths, Aime recounts her apathy towards men and the struggle to suppress her feelings for women, while Lisa describes chasing an undefined emotion before realizing her true self. Their stories highlight the profound moments of clarity and the societal expectations that delayed their self-recognition.Chapter 2: The Evolution of Coming OutIn this chapter, Aime and Lisa explore the deeply personal and emotional challenges of coming out. They share contrasting narratives of supportive families and internal battles of self-acceptance. The significance of self-reflection and anonymous online exchanges emerges as a pivotal theme, illustrating the fear, vulnerability, and eventual courage required to confront and share one's truth. The chapter emphasizes the internal conflict and liberation that comes with acknowledging and expressing one's authentic self.Chapter 3: Navigating Marriage and Coming OutTransitioning from heterosexual marriages to a same-sex relationship posed unique challenges for Aime and Lisa. They candidly recount their weekly meetings amidst confusion, the delicate conversations with their ex-husbands, and the priority of their children's well-being. This chapter also touches on the cultural hurdles of coming out to traditional Sicilian parents, emphasizing the cultural and generational gaps that made acceptance a lengthy and repetitive endeavor. Through their experiences, Aime and Lisa highlight the emotional highs and lows and the steps toward building a new life together.Chapter 4: Navigating Blended Families With GraceThe final chapter focuses on the importance of love and authenticity in relationships. Aime and Lisa discuss the gradual process of blending families, including introducing children...
About the Episode and GuestCherish Amber, a seasoned queer sex, intimacy, and relationship coach, takes us on an extraordinary journey of self-discovery and acceptance. From identifying as bisexual at 15 to embracing her identity as a lesbian, Cherish shares the challenges and triumphs that have shaped her path. She offers poignant insights into the emotional and sexual differences between relationships with men and women, underscoring the authenticity and freedom she finds in her queer relationships. Cherish's narrative illuminates the power of safe queer spaces and underscores the importance of self-acceptance.Listeners will gain valuable insights into the intricate relationship between pleasure, consent, and intimacy within the queer community. Cherish highlights her initiatives like coming out coaching and the Pleasure Zone at pride events, which encourage open conversations about pleasure. We dissect the orgasm gap in heterosexual relationships and the unique dynamics of sex in lesbian relationships, revealing how rethinking sexual expectations can significantly enhance relationship satisfaction. Cherish's practical wisdom, drawn from long-term lesbians, offers a fresh perspective on navigating intimate connections.Our conversation further delves into the nuances of consent, using relatable analogies like offering a cup of tea to clarify that consent can be withdrawn at any time. We discuss the concept of arousal non-concordance and the importance of focusing on mutual pleasure rather than just achieving orgasms. Cherish shares practical tips for those new to lesbian relationships, emphasizing the importance of a safe and fulfilling sexual experience. From vaginal health and the impact of diet to the dynamics of sharing sex toys in long-term relationships, this episode is a treasure trove of insights aimed at empowering individuals in their sexual journeys.(00:00) Queer Sex Coach Shares JourneyCherish Amber shares her coming out journey, discussing labels, trauma, and the freedom of queer relationships.(07:40) Exploring Pleasure, Consent, and IntimacyPleasure, consent, and challenges in queer relationships, including disparities in sexual experiences and rethinking expectations for enhanced satisfaction.(18:32) Navigating Consent and Pleasure in SexConsent can be withdrawn at any stage, arousal non-concordance can create confusion, physical responses during assault are purely physiological, and mutual pleasure should be prioritized in sexual experiences.(27:18) Exploring Sensuality and Communication in SexNature's safe and fulfilling sexual experience for new or inexperienced lesbian partners, emphasizing connection, comfort, and acceptance.(33:46) Exploring Vaginal Health and PleasureNature's diversity of female anatomy, gentle and respectful intimacy, vaginal health and hygiene, and preparation for anal play.(45:05) Sharing Sex Toys in RelationshipsToy preferences in lesbian relationships, sharing and practicality, online coaching services, upcoming episodes and mutual promotion.Chapters(00:48 - 02:15) Coming Out Journey and Relationships(04:59 - 06:15) Exploring Sexual Identity and Labels(13:41 - 15:34) Reimagining Definitions of Sex(21:05 - 21:40) Consent and Arousal Incongruence(26:24 - 27:39) Importance of Post-Sex Care(29:26 - 30:46) Communicating Feedback During Intimacy(33:08 - 34:04) Understanding Different Sexual Preferences(43:15 - 44:37) Reusing Sex Toys and HygieneLearn More About Cherish Amber:https://www.cherishamber.com/Listen to my guest episode on Apple:
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ℹ️ IntroductionWelcome to another captivating episode of Lesbi-Honest! I'm your host, Sarah St John, and today we have a very special guest joining us. Please give a warm welcome to Lacy Jones, a talented musician, former ministry leader, and an advocate for LGBTQ+ rights. Lacy's journey is one filled with personal struggles, navigating religious institutions, and ultimately finding her true authentic self. In this episode, Lacy opens up about her experiences in ministry, the challenges she faced as a queer individual, and her courageous decision to come out. From her encounters with discrimination to the complexities of family relationships, Lacy's story is captivating and inspiring. Get ready as we dive into the depths of Lacy's journey and explore the power of embracing one's true identity. You won't want to miss this heartfelt and honest conversation. Let's get started!❓ QuestionsQuestion 1: In this episode, Lacy Jones discusses her experience with a ministry that discriminated against LGBTQ+ individuals. How do you think this type of discrimination impacts the mental health and well-being of those affected?Question 2: Lacy shares her struggle with being labeled as a "lipstick lesbian" by a person she sought counseling from. How does this labeling affect their sense of identity and self-acceptance?Question 3: Can you relate to Lacy's experience of feeling pressured to hide her true identity and conform to a certain image in order to be accepted by her church community? How do you think this pressure can impact an individual's authenticity and mental health?Question 4: Lacy talks about her journey of self-discovery and therapy, which led her to realize they were in a cult. How important do you think it is for individuals to seek therapy and professional help when they suspect they might be in a harmful or manipulative environment?Question 5: Lacy mentions the fear of losing her church family and the implications it would have for her music ministry if she were to come out. How do you think fear of rejection and losing support networks can affect a person's decision to come out and live authentically?Question 6: Lacy emphasizes the importance of sharing stories, especially those that happen in secret or in the dark. How can storytelling and sharing personal experiences contribute to breaking the silence surrounding LGBTQ+ discrimination and fostering understanding and empathy?Question 7: Lacy discusses the concept of "bearing their cross" and facing criticism as an opportunity for growth and refinement. How do you think facing criticism and adversity can shape a person's resilience and personal development?Question 8: Lacy shares her experience of finding love and support in the church after growing up in a dysfunctional home environment. How can faith communities provide a sense of belonging and support for individuals who come from challenging backgrounds?Question 9: Lacy's journey involves reconciling her faith with her identity. Have you or someone you know experienced a similar struggle? How did you navigate the intersection of your identity and your beliefsRelevant Links:Lesbihonest.show
ℹ️ IntroductionWelcome to "Lesbi-Honest," the podcast where we dive deep into the stories and experiences of LGBTQ+ individuals and explore the intersection of their identities with faith, love, and society. In today's episode, we have a very special guest, Jennifer Knapp, a talented musician who has experienced both the highs and lows of the Christian music industry. Jennifer will share with us the challenges she faced after coming out and the impact it had on her career and other LGBTQ+ artists in the industry. Despite the backlash, Jennifer found incredible support and positivity from the queer community, which fueled her desire to be a voice of strength for others. Join us as she takes us through her journey of self-discovery, self-expression, and the importance of living authentically. We'll also explore the role of Christianity in shaping her character and the ongoing process of self-love and understanding her relationship with God. Furthermore, Jennifer challenges the interpretations of biblical teachings on homosexuality and emphasizes the need for love and kindness towards one another. So grab a cup of coffee, sit back, and get ready for an inspiring and thought-provoking conversation with Jennifer on "Lesbi-Honest."
BioAs an unapologetically queer writer and creator, Shohreh Davoodi is especially skilled at making thoughtful connections, explaining difficult concepts clearly and concisely, and handling tough topics with warmth and humor. Driven by a passion for equal rights and representation for LGBTQIA+ folks and people of color, her work supports and celebrates the queer and BIPOC communities of which she's a proud member. She's currently working on her first novel.ℹ️ IntroductionWelcome back to another episode of Lesbi-Honest, the podcast where we explore the journeys, experiences, and triumphs of individuals who have embraced their true selves. I'm your host, Sarah, and today we have a very special guest joining us, Shohreh. In this episode, Shohreh shares their personal story of discovering their sexuality later in life and the journey they embarked on to fully embrace their identity as a lesbian. We delve into the complexities of understanding their attraction to women, their struggles with acceptance, and the empowering role of a supportive queer therapist. Shohreh also opens up about facing criticism and ridicule online, their brave act of putting up a pride flag in a conservative neighborhood, and their decision to move to a more LGBTQ-friendly city. This episode is filled with inspiration, honesty, and a reminder that it's never too late to live authentically. So sit back, relax, and let's dive into Shohreh's incredible journey on this episode of Lesbi-Honest.❇️ Key topics and bullets- Late-in-life lesbians going through a process of understanding their sexuality - The Shohreh's gradual transition in understanding her attraction to women - Identifying as bisexual before fully embracing the identity of a lesbian - Struggles with accepting her sexuality and questioning past experiences - Supportive queer therapist helping navigate feelings and guilt- Criticism and ridicule online for their experience from men- Process of accepting attraction to women - Acknowledging body's signals and realizing unhappiness in marriage due to queerness- Response video to HOA situation - Counter flag response to conservative flag in living room - Buying a progress flag with "you are loved" slogan- Putting up the flag to support and provide representation for queer individuals in the neighborhood- Recognizing attractiveness in men, but not personally attracted to them- Interest in dating women if circumstances were different- Learning about bisexuality through close friendships with bisexual individuals- Initial identification as bisexual before realizing being a lesbian- Biphobia and the pressure to choose a side- Discovery process during the pandemic leading to divorce from ex-husband- Happiness in current lesbian relationship- Lack of children, but co-parenting two dogs with ex-partner- Initial plans to open relationship disrupted by the pandemic- Realization of being meant to be with a woman- Guilt and unfulfillment in closeted lesbian marriage- Asking for a divorce due to deep friendship rather than a romantic partnership- Painful process of divorce after being together since early twenties- Catalyst of "Untamed" by Glenn Doyle for questioning sexuality- Friends and ex-husband suggesting Shohreh might be gay- Initial identification as queer before realizing she is a lesbian- Confirmation of lesbian identity through dating current partner- Desire to live in Colorado and concerns about LGBTQ+ rights in Texas- Safety concerns for partner presenting as masculine in Texas- Presence of speaker's sister and family members in Colorado- Extreme heat in Texas and desire for a different climate- Understanding there is no 100% safe...
ℹ️ IntroductionOn this episode of Lesbi-Honest, our guest Marisa shares her personal journey of grappling with her sexuality and faith. Raised in a mixed religious household, Marisa had a strong foundation in faith but began experiencing a sense of difference from an early age. She struggled with her identity and the conflict between her faith and being gay, initially dismissing Christians. However, through reading books and connecting with a supportive church community, Marisa began questioning and reevaluating her beliefs.Marisa emphasizes the importance of finding peers who share similar experiences and understanding. She found a sense of belonging and acceptance in a church that embraced her as a gay individual. Her faith and church community have become anchors in her life and have helped her navigate the challenges of her sexuality.Throughout the episode, Marisa also discusses her current relationship with her partner, which is long-distance but strong. Despite the challenges, they make time for each other through regular visits, FaceTime, and Bible study together. They are committed to making the relationship work and have even discussed the possibility of one of them moving to Dallas.Marisa shares her admiration for Kathy Baldock's book, "Walking the Bridges Canyon," which explores the acceptance of diversity in terms of gender identity and sexuality. She questions why anyone would refute the arguments presented in the book after reading it and uses the diversity in nature as an analogy to advocate for acceptance in humans.Join host Sarah St John and guest Marisa as they dive deep into Marisa's personal journey, the importance of community, and the intersection of faith and sexuality. This thought-provoking episode will inspire listeners to embrace their own identities and seek understanding and acceptance. ❇️ Key topics and bullets- The podcast opens with a discussion about the creation of Eve and her role as a companion for Adam. It focuses on the fact that Eve is another human, emphasizing her similarities and sameness rather than her visual differences. The bond between Adam and Eve is described as a kinship bond similar to that of family or friends.- Marisa shares her personal experience with online dating and the struggles of finding a genuine connection. She discusses the frustration of dealing with fake profiles and scammers. She then shares how she met her current partner and how their relationship feels divinely ordained. She talks about their shared values and interests and the positive reactions from her church community and parents towards their partner.- Marisa talks about her upbringing in a mixed religious household and her strong faith foundation. She shares her struggles with depression, self-identity, and reconciling her faith with her sexuality. She discusses the importance of finding supportive peers and a church community that embraces her as a gay individual. She emphasizes the role of community and the importance of holding onto hope and staying true to one's self.- Marisa mentions books she has read related to the topic, particularly ones that explore the compatibility of being gay and Christian. Marissa and Sarah discuss the clobber passages, explaining that they don't refer to committed same-sex relationships but to ancient times involving domination and violence. They praise the availability of new books that provide more depth and understanding on the topic.- Marisa opens up about a negative confrontation with her family over a relationship with a woman in high school and shares her personal experience of being in an abusive relationship. She discusses her conflicting thoughts and feelings about her sexual orientation. She expresses gratitude for the supportive relationship she now has with her parents and her current partner being accepted into the family.- Marisa and her partner are in a...
❇️ Key topics and bullets- Opening Segment: Expressing Hope for Maintaining Friendship Despite Changing Circumstances Emphasizing the importance of friendship even after major life changes Sharing personal experiences and perspectives on maintaining connections- Seeking Solace and Support from Local LGBTQ+ Groups Exploring the importance of community in times of personal growth and change Specific focus on finding LGBTQ+ groups that cater to gay Christians- Personal Journey: Coming to Terms with Authenticity Reflecting on childhood experiences and early signs of attraction Realizing the yearning for authenticity in later years Discussing the impact of societal expectations and internalized beliefs- Divorce Process: Civil, Amicable, and Uncontested Sharing experiences of navigating the divorce journey Highlighting the importance of open communication and mutual respect- Hope for Future Relationships and Friendship Expressing wishes for personal fulfillment and growth for oneself and former spouse Discussing the desire to maintain a friendship and support each other's happiness- Listening to the Narratives of Others Finding strength and inspiration through hearing stories of similar experiences Encouraging listeners to share their own stories and experiences- Introducing the Podcast's Goal and Format Explaining the objective of inspiring and validating unique journeys Encouraging engagement through voice messages and guest forms- Connecting through TikTok Tuesdays Announcing the start of live TikTok sessions for community engagement Giving details about the initial schedule and possibility of changes based on feedback- Call to Action: Subscribing, Rating, and Sharing the Podcast Encouraging listeners to subscribe to the podcast for future episodes Requesting 5-star ratings and reviews if enjoying the content Asking listeners to share the podcast with someone who could benefit from the message- Closing Segment: Farewell and Future Engagement Expressing gratitude for listeners and promising future episodes Signing off with a reminder that their unique journey is valid and valuable
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