My Spouse Died Too

The last doctor visit, and why Jane's doctor cries. Hope discussion. Did Jarie have a hope stopping point, like I did?  What love is. Jane's last written words, delivered to Jarie, after Jane dies.  Now, how Jarie lives each day, even if it's a shytty day. Try this.  Love after Jane. Is soon, too soon? Define soon. Dating and guilt.  No one else knows your path. If you're uncertain (scared to death) about dating, hear what Jarie says, because you might not have another shot. Quitting substances (except caffeine and orange-glazed scones). Jarie specifies his decisions, effects, and how this helps to not make life more miserable. Golden words of wisdom.  Link to Jarie's website JarieBolander.com where you can purchase his book and learn about everything Jarie. If you haven't listened to Parts 1 or 2, link here:  Part 1  Part 2 Thanks for listening. Yes, and... Because you shouldn't have to journey alone, join me in the My Spouse Died Too community email list for members-only benefits: Behind-the-scenes commentary gives you deeper insight--helps you heal. Episode alerts so you'll know when a new episode is ready. Updates on past podcast guests because their journeys continue too. Plus more thoughts, resources, and random widowed journey stuff I discover. And it's the best way to contact me. Because you shouldn't have to journey alone. Sign-up takes less than thirty-two seconds. Here's the link: https://www.myspousediedtoo.com. Hope. Heal. Find love again. Give Grief The Middle Finger. ~ Emeric My Spouse Died Too podcast, images, logos, artwork copyright © 2019-2024 by Emeric McCleary. Music and lyrics © 2019-2024 by Emeric McCleary and Elena McCleary.

Vaping to cope. THC and CBD. Jane needs Jarie to be her ROCK. Failure lump in Jarie's throat. The feeling…how anxiety and stress manifest themselves. When Jarie, the man who loves a plan, asks himself “How am I going to fix this?” And then realizes “I can't fix this!” Chemotherapy ravages—Jarie buzzes off Jane's long black hair.  Freezing your embryos. Jarie and I have a gut-wrenching intimate discussion.  Discussing death with your dying spouse. So hard. How a guardian angel social worker puts things into clear focus. Jarie describes the best gift he's ever had: priceless words Jane said to him about finding love after death. Link to Jarie's website JarieBolander.com where you can purchase his book and learn about everything Jarie. If you haven't listened to Part 1, link here:  Part 1  Thanks for listening. Join us for part 3 of 3. Yes, and... Because you shouldn't have to journey alone, join me in the My Spouse Died Too community email list for members-only benefits: Behind-the-scenes commentary gives you deeper insight--helps you heal. Episode alerts so you'll know when a new episode is ready. Updates on past podcast guests because their journeys continue too. Plus more thoughts, resources, and random widowed journey stuff I discover. And it's the best way to contact me. Because you shouldn't have to journey alone. Sign-up takes less than thirty-two seconds. Here's the link: https://www.myspousediedtoo.com. Hope. Heal. Find love again. Give Grief The Middle Finger. ~ Emeric My Spouse Died Too podcast, images, logos, artwork copyright © 2019-2024 by Emeric McCleary. Music and lyrics © 2019-2024 by Emeric McCleary and Elena McCleary.

If you marry, and mark your day with ceremony, you might include these wedding vows: To have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, cherish, and to obey, till death do us part. Half-easy to recite, but fulfill—a Sisyphean effort. Widowed guest co-host and author Jarie Bolander joins us.  Jarie's book is titled: Ride Or Die: Loving Through Tragedy, A Husband's Memoir.   Jarie's memoir, a poignant tribute to his late spouse Jane, is a testament to the power of love and commitment those exact wedding vows embody.  Here's the set-up… Friday, the day after Christmas 2015. Married less than two years, Jarie and Jane are San Francisco's young attractive power couple. Jarie is 45, a Silicon Valley engineer, entrepreneur, seven-book author, podcaster, blogger, and working on another start-up. Jarie is a highly functional introvert. Jarie's spouse Jane, an outright extrovert, runs the public relations firm she founded. A quenchless zest for life fills Jane, a 35-year-old fireball. Jarie and Jane work on making a baby. But after two miscarriages…diagnostic blood tests become routine. Now, the day after Christmas—after spending a few hectically fun-filled days at Jane's parent's house, it's time to drive the thirty-five-plus minutes home to San Francisco. Jarie looks forward to getting home midday and relaxing a bit before their restaurant dinner date. But Jane insists on having her next routine blood draw today. Jarie protests why Jane can't wait until the next week because it's barely the day after Christmas AND it's a Friday. The walk-in-no-appointment-necessary laboratory is on the way home. It's quick. Blood drawn.   35 minutes later, Jane and Jarie arrive home, unpack, and put their luggage away. Jane's cell phone rings. An unknown caller. Jarie says ignore it. Jane answers because restaurants often call to confirm reservations. The restaurant is not the caller--the medical facility calls. Jane's blood test results signal concern. The caller wants Jane to test more NOW. Please come into the hospital via the Emergency Room entrance. Jarie and Jane enter the ER entrance. And straight away,  escorted into a curtained section. Not even 6 minutes pass, two doctors enter. After introductions, one doctor asks Jane do you know why you're here? Jane says, because I was told over the phone my blood test was abnormal. The doctor agrees.  The doctors also ask about the small patches of red dots on Jane's tummy. The red dots appeared after the last miscarriage—severe cramping often bursts tiny surface blood vessels. Jane asks why, what about the red dots—and the doctors say they need an opinion from the on-call oncologist. Oncologist? Why an oncologist? One doctor says, well, we're not exactly sure, but it looks like you might have…leukemia. Jarie's book is the first I've read written from a widowed Man's viewpoint. Jarie's memoir NAILS it. So much echoes my own once-upon-a-time story. Jarie hands you his heart, his fears, his perceived failings. Weaknesses. Strengths. Obsessions. Addictions. Things you only tell your therapist.  Jarie's experience might parallel yours. For example, as men, we were raised to be protectors, not caregivers. An old-fashioned male archetype? In our DNA? Jarie painstakingly details his caregiving odyssey.  Losing himself in Jane's sickness, he copes by numbing. Alcohol. Pot, Caffeine. His therapist doesn't know to what extent. Jane's health declines. Jarie can't protect Jane. His self-perceived failure persecutes him. And from diagnosis to death, not even 18 months pass. Kindly observe what happens after Jane's death. Because Jarie continues his lionhearted pilgrimage— through grief and anger— to find himself, and love again.  Link to Jarie's website JarieBolander.com where you can purchase his book and learn about everything Jarie. Thanks for listening. Join us for part 2 of 3. Yes, and... Because you shouldn't have to journey alone, join me in the My Spouse Died Too community email list for members-only benefits: Behind-the-scenes commentary gives you deeper insight--helps you heal. Episode alerts so you'll know when a new episode is ready. Updates on past podcast guests because their journeys continue too. Plus more thoughts, resources, and random widowed journey stuff I discover. And it's the best way to contact me. Because you shouldn't have to journey alone. Sign-up takes less than thirty-two seconds. Here's the link: https://www.myspousediedtoo.com. Hope. Heal. Find love again. Give Grief The Middle Finger. ~ Emeric My Spouse Died Too podcast, images, logos, artwork copyright © 2019-2024 by Emeric McCleary. Music and lyrics © 2019-2024 by Emeric McCleary and Elena McCleary.

Gut-busting, emphatic, grand finale. First, listen someplace where it's safe to pee your pants. Why Susan's Uber driver advises her to lock the hotel door and under no circumstances come out until morning.  Pretending all is okay--when it's not. Telling your family to shut the fuctuplets up. Is God kept on retainer? The High School Provocative Classmates Widow Group.  Susan Can't imagine falling in love again. Oh God, I'm blushing. Can you say vi-vi-vibrators? Life's three stages according to Susan: what sex, food, and bowel movements have in common. Women pee their pants. Susan gets solicited by a hot-to-trot widower looking to replace his dead caregiver. Why Susan transforms her basement into a NYC Greenwich Village Bohemian apartment. Hard and unasked questions. Regret, resentment, risk, and fear. Mark was worth missing. Why Amazon delivers 12 bottles of body wash, after Mark dies.  And there's more… If you haven't listened to Parts 1 or 2, link here: Part 1  Part 2 Thanks for listening. Yes, and... Because you shouldn't have to journey alone, join me in the My Spouse Died Too community email list for members-only benefits: Behind-the-scenes commentary gives you deeper insight--helps you heal. Episode alerts so you'll know when a new episode is ready. Updates on past podcast guests because their journeys continue too. Plus more thoughts, resources, and random widowed journey stuff I discover. And it's the best way to contact me. Because you shouldn't have to journey alone. Sign-up takes less than thirty-two seconds. Here's the link: https://www.myspousediedtoo.com. Hope. Heal. Find love again. Give grief the middle finger. ~ Emeric My Spouse Died Too podcast, images, logos, artwork copyright © 2019-2024 by Emeric McCleary. Music and lyrics © 2019-2024 by Emeric McCleary and Elena McCleary.

Morphine, ahhhhh. Mark's last days.  Wait, what about Sofie, Mark's dying dog? The last goodbye. Mark and Sofie wear American football team Green Bay Packers sweatshirts. From the Woo Woo and Taboo Department: before Susan's birth, her mom bore a son. He died at birth. Like a shameful secret, never discussed. So how does Susan's four-year-old son know about Susan's late infant brother? Now alone, Susan says “F#@k it, I don't want to cook!” After Mark dies, Susan is pissed off at Mark. Susan discusses the metaphorical burden she carries and how she sheds it. Living alone and liking it, without guilt. Susan's kids don't think she has it “all together.” Susan lies to her kids! She reveals when and why. You might employ the tactic. Soon after Mark dies, Susan, her kids, and grandkids go away for a much-needed beach vacation. What happens in 24 hours, when you add fresh grief, plus all-day-on-the-beach Bloody Marys, plus Mark's favorite Merle Haggard country music? You get a military-strength family explosion—followed by passive-aggressive silent treatment. But wait, there's more. Go and listen. If you haven't listened to Part 1, avoid rickets. Link here: Part 1 Thanks for listening. Join us for the grand finale, part 3. Yes, and... Because you shouldn't have to journey alone, join me in the My Spouse Died Too community email list for members-only benefits: Behind-the-scenes commentary gives you deeper insight--helps you heal. Episode alerts so you'll know when a new episode is ready. Updates on past podcast guests because their journeys continue too. Plus more thoughts, resources, and random widowed journey stuff I discover. And it's the best way to contact me. Because you shouldn't have to journey alone. Sign-up takes less than thirty-two seconds. Here's the link: https://www.myspousediedtoo.com. Hope. Heal. Find love again. Give Grief The Middle Finger. ~ Emeric My Spouse Died Too podcast, images, logos, artwork copyright © 2019-2024 by Emeric McCleary. Music and lyrics © 2019-2024 by Emeric McCleary and Elena McCleary.

Widowed dynamo Susan Yelton jumps into action as my guest co-host in this first episode of a whirl-wind 3 part series. The series makes you: question, agree, cry, laugh, piss you off, shake your head and your fist, say oh my gosh, and holy shyt. Susan even makes me blush! In a later episode we talk about sexuality…just listen for yourself.  You hear me turn red. A Baptist preacher's daughter, at age 16, Susan meets Mark. A long-haired guitar-strumming 19-year-old. Akin to a 60's folk singer. Instantly in love. Three years later they marry, and stay that way for fifty-two years until death do you part. But not without a roller coaster ride. Alcoholism, shame-filled cover-ups, and how they saved their marriage. Then two and a half years ago, Mark got sick. You'll hear about Gloria Vanderbilt the cat, and Sophie the dog.  Sophie's dying too… she won't leave Mark's side. You see how and why Susan keeps Sophie alive. The harsh reality of hospice. Why Mark administers his morphine. Susan won't administer it because a mysterious morphine experience haunts her. And so much more… Whether you're 25 or 95 years old, priceless gems emerge—warnings, lessons, and advice. Thanks for listening. Join us for part 2 of 3. Because you shouldn't have to journey alone, join me in the My Spouse Died Too community email list for members-only benefits: Behind-the-scenes commentary gives you deeper insight--helps you heal. Episode alerts so you'll know when a new episode is ready. Updates on past podcast guests because their journeys continue too. Plus more thoughts, resources, and random widowed journey stuff I discover. And it's the best way to contact me. Because you shouldn't have to journey alone. Sign-up takes less than thirty-two seconds. Here's the link: https://www.myspousediedtoo.com. Hope. Heal. Find love again. Give Grief The Middle Finger. ~ Emeric My Spouse Died Too podcast, images, logos, artwork copyright © 2019-2024 by Emeric McCleary. Music and lyrics © 2019-2024 by Emeric McCleary and Elena McCleary.

“Are you sitting down?” When you answer your phone and the caller says this, does lousy news always ensue? Kady ruminates over how to deliver bad news to her teen daughter. Grief ambushes Kady. Kady details her what-ifs. Mourning what you thought could be. What Kady believes causes her grief—an eloquent explanation. Can death deliver relief? Kady's fear-filled recurring nightmare about Mikey. If you haven't listened to Parts 1 or 2, link here:  Part 1   Part 2 More EX grief stories? Listen to my sister Vickey's episode 11: Three Weddings.  (Vickey grieves the loss of an ex-husband. Ken, her ex, is the father of Vickey's two sons. First-born son Derek, a U.S. Marine, was killed in Iraq.) Thank you for listening. Yes, and... Because you shouldn't have to journey alone, join me in the My Spouse Died Too community email list for members-only benefits: Behind-the-scenes commentary gives you deeper insight--helps you heal. Episode alerts so you'll know when a new episode is ready. Updates on past podcast guests because their journeys continue too. Plus more thoughts, resources, and random widowed journey stuff I discover. And it's the best way to contact me. Because you shouldn't have to journey alone. Sign-up takes less than thirty-two seconds. Here's the link: https://www.myspousediedtoo.com. Hope. Heal. Find love again. Give grief the middle finger. ~ Emeric My Spouse Died Too podcast, images, logos, artwork copyright © 2019-2023 by Emeric McCleary. Music and lyrics © 2019-2023 by Emeric McCleary and Elena McCleary

Kady gives Mikey an ultimatum. Mother's little helper (the Xanax kind). Granting extra chances (breaking boundaries to stanch your pain and unease?) Kady says, “I don't need a man." Meet Kady's condominium complex busybody matchmaker, aka, Miss Pat. Wisdom from grandma. A suicide threat. Might Kady move in with a man? A poignant proposal. And Kady gets an unforeseen telephone call about her ex, Mikey. If you haven't listened to Part 1, here's the link: Part 1 More grief from an Ex? Then here's the link to my sister Vickey's episode 11: Three Weddings  Yes, and... Before you split, Because you shouldn't have to journey alone, join me in the My Spouse Died Too community email list for members-only benefits: Behind-the-scenes commentary gives you deeper insight--helps you heal. Episode alerts so you'll know when a new episode is ready. Updates on past podcast guests because their journeys continue too. Plus more thoughts, resources, and random widowed journey stuff I discover. And it's the best way to contact me. Because you shouldn't have to journey alone. Sign-up takes less than thirty-two seconds. Here's the link: https://www.myspousediedtoo.com. Hope. Heal. Find love again. Give grief the middle finger. ~ Emeric My Spouse Died Too podcast, images, logos, artwork copyright © 2019-2023 by Emeric McCleary. Music and lyrics © 2019-2023 by Emeric McCleary and Elena McCleary

You might label Kady's Ex a “major dyck head.” Today, Kady and her new husband celebrate ten-plus years with two kids—a teen and a five-year-old. (The Ex fathered Kady's teen). And then Kady's Ex dies.  Grief ambushes Kady. Secretly grieving, Kady struggles to make sense of it. Embarrassment and shame pile on. Kady doesn't want to tell anyone. And why might someone grieve the death of a major dyck head? This three-part series details awkward young love, endearing qualities, substance abuse, loss of innocence, teen pregnancy, immaturity, growing up too fast, choosing what's best for your baby girl, sticking to boundaries, dating again, serendipitously finding a new spouse, and grieving your EX, even if your EX was an ashwhole. Thanks for listening. Podcast links mentioned: Emeric's sister Vickey's episode 11: Three Weddings  Wait, there's more! Because you shouldn't have to journey alone, join me in the My Spouse Died Too community email list for members-only benefits: Behind-the-scenes commentary gives you deeper insight--helps you heal. Episode alerts so you'll know when a new episode is ready. Updates on past podcast guests because their journeys continue too. Plus more thoughts, resources, and random widowed journey stuff I discover. And it's the best way to contact me. Because you shouldn't have to journey alone. Sign-up takes less than thirty-two seconds. Here's the link: https://www.myspousediedtoo.com. Hope. Heal. Find love again. Give grief the middle finger. ~ Emeric My Spouse Died Too podcast, images, logos, artwork copyright © 2019-2023 by Emeric McCleary. Music and lyrics © 2019-2023 by Emeric McCleary and Elena

Welcome to part 2: Loss and Grief Personal Stories of Doctors and Other Healthcare Professionals, with my guest co-host Linda Klein. Linda is co-editor of the book Loss and Grief Personal Stories of Doctors and Other Healthcare Professionals. I shamelessly ripped off the book's title for the podcast episode title because it makes sense. If you haven't listened to part 1, please do that first to avoid brain freeze. Here's the link. In this final episode, we pick up where we left off from part one. I finish reading a once-upon-a-time story and then read one more tremendous story of spousal loss. You'll hear the author's thoughts on erasing the late spouse's last voice message. Sitting Shiva. How a piece of us dies with the dying. Does joy eventually outweigh the sadness? Resilience. Wedding ring conundrums (or How NOT to remove your wedding ring). The Mission: Normalizing loss and grief amongst doctors and healthcare professionals.  And a whole lot more. Enjoy this final chitchat with book co-editor and guest co-host Linda Klein. Thanks for listening. If you haven't heard part 1, here's the link. Buy the book at Amazon. Here's the link: https://a.co/d/a15mjX2 Our House Grief Support Center link: https://ourhouse-grief.org Because you shouldn't have to journey alone, join me in the My Spouse Died Too community email list for members-only benefits: Behind-the-scenes commentary gives you deeper insight--helps you heal. Episode alerts so you'll know when a new episode is ready. Updates on past podcast guests because their journeys continue too. Plus more thoughts, resources, and random widowed journey stuff I discover. And it's the best way to contact me. Because you shouldn't have to journey alone. Sign-up takes less than thirty-two seconds. Here's the link: https://www.myspousediedtoo.com. Hope. Heal. Find love again. Give Grief The Middle Finger. ~ Emeric My Spouse Died Too podcast, images, logos, artwork copyright © 2019-2023 by Emeric McCleary. Music and lyrics © 2019-2023 by Emeric McCleary and Elena McCleary.

Why do professionals, surrounded by death, loss, and grief, think they must hold their shyt together for their patients, family, and themselves? For years, these professionals have been expected to bury their emotions, suck it up, and move on. Present stoically. No one must know if you seek therapy. Any sign of grief is weakness. A liability. A career impediment. What will my colleagues think of me? What will my patients think of me? What will my family think of me? I'm a pro. I can't lose my shyt. But no one, no one is spared the pain of loss, the grief, that yearning for what you can no longer have. Loss and Grief Personal Stories of Doctors and other healthcare Professionals launches the mission to normalize loss and grief, for the very same professionals who work smack dab everyday chin deep in the loss and grief swamp. The book has 17 stories of loss and grief, each story from a different writer. As the book title suggests, the writers are all involved with death and dying: oncologists, psychologists, therapists, and other professionals who work with loss and grief daily. 5 writers, write about losing their spouse. The other 12 stories concern losses, for example—parent, sibling, friend, and loss of identity. At first, I was distressed about recommending a book that includes losses other than spousal, but each of the five widowed writers could be on the podcast telling their once-upon-a-time story. And in these episodes, I read to you, two heartfelt poignant stories.  It takes tremendous courage to be vulnerable, to spill your guts. If you know someone who works in this environment, consider gifting them this book! I hope this request becomes obvious after you listen. Thanks for listening. Buy the book at Amazon. Here's the link: https://a.co/d/a15mjX2 Our House Grief Support Center link: https://ourhouse-grief.org Because you shouldn't have to journey alone, join me in the My Spouse Died Too community email list for members-only benefits: Behind-the-scenes commentary gives you deeper insight--helps you heal. Episode alerts so you'll know when a new episode is ready. Updates on past podcast guests because their journeys continue too. Plus more thoughts, resources, and random widowed journey stuff I discover. And it's the best way to contact me. Because you shouldn't have to journey alone. Sign-up takes less than thirty-two seconds. Here's the link: https://www.myspousediedtoo.com. Hope. Heal. Find love again. Give Grief The Middle Finger. ~ Emeric My Spouse Died Too podcast, images, logos, artwork copyright © 2019-2023 by Emeric McCleary. Music and lyrics © 2019-2023 by Emeric McCleary and Elena McCleary.

Do men only care about this one thing? Putting up with abuse for too long? The Devil you know vs. The Devil you don't. Is online dating a parade of emotionally bankrupt individuals? Reality check: Recovery from losing your spouse… is bloody and painful.  Debbie's next devastating loss—her girlfriend group abandons her. Hear why. Beware, the astonishing power of loneliness.  Waiting too long to move out of the home where you lived with your spouse?  The length of time to find joy after loss.  Chivalry is not dead—but, on life support? Looking for a long-term forever commitment—does Debbie discover it? And scores more! Please embrace this final powerful poignant episode with my widowed guest co-host Debbie Weiss. If you haven't listened to parts 1 or 2, please do. Links: Part 1   Part 2 The link to order Debbie's book Available As Is - A Midlife Widow's Search for Love and the blog website is below. If you are a member of the My Spouse Died Too community email list, you'll get the link in your Behind-The-Scenes email.  If you aren't a member, take 32 seconds and sign up at MySpouseDiedToo.com.  The link to Debbie Weiss's website, blog, and to buy her book: https://www.thehungoverwidow.com Thanks for listening. Because you shouldn't have to journey alone, join me in the My Spouse Died Too community email list for members-only benefits: Behind-the-scenes commentary gives you deeper insight--helps you heal. Episode alerts so you'll know when a new episode is ready. Updates on past podcast guests because their journeys continue too. Plus more thoughts, resources, and random widowed journey stuff I discover. And it's the best way to contact me. Because you shouldn't have to journey alone. Sign-up takes less than thirty-two seconds. Here's the link: https://www.myspousediedtoo.com. Hope. Heal. Find love again. Give Grief The Middle Finger. ~ Emeric My Spouse Died Too podcast, images, logos, artwork copyright © 2019-2022 by Emeric McCleary. Music and lyrics © 2019-2022 by Emeric McCleary and Elena McCleary.

After George's death, Debbie feels she doesn't deserve a future. Here's how she conquers that poisonous head trash. How colossal loneliness leads to a first intimate encounter. What really helps Debbie. How Debbie gains feedback to repair her life. Life when you are used to being half of a couple. Debbie Joins a Car Club. Why?  Why Debbie named her web and blog site: TheHungoverWidow.com. How to meet Mr. Oedipus complex. Why do mothers damage so many sons? The patriarchal dating game. Why Debbie must call for police protection.  And plenty more. Please enjoy part 2 of this wide-ranging conversation with my widowed guest co-host Debbie Weiss. In case you haven't listened, here is the link for Part 1. Debbie Weiss's website, blog, and link to buy her book: Available As Is--A Midlife Widow's Search for Love If you are a member of the My Spouse Died Too community email list, you'll get the link in your Behind-The-Scenes email. https://www.thehungoverwidow.com Thanks for listening. Join us for part 3 of 3. Because you shouldn't have to journey alone, join me in the My Spouse Died Too community email list for members-only benefits: Behind-the-scenes commentary gives you deeper insight--helps you heal. Episode alerts so you'll know when a new episode is ready. Updates on past podcast guests because their journeys continue too. Plus more thoughts, resources, and random widowed journey stuff I discover. And it's the best way to contact me. Because you shouldn't have to journey alone. Sign-up takes less than thirty-two seconds. Here's the link: https://www.myspousediedtoo.com. Hope. Heal. Find love again. Give Grief The Middle Finger. ~ Emeric My Spouse Died Too podcast, images, logos, artwork copyright © 2019-2022 by Emeric McCleary. Music and lyrics © 2019-2022 by Emeric McCleary and Elena McCleary.

Widowed guest co-host Debbie Weiss joins us. Debbie is an author and blogger from the San Francisco Bay area.  Debbie just published her memoir: Available As Is  - A Midlife Widow's Search For Love Since Debbie's high school prom, George is her man. For over 30 years, Debbie and George dine together almost every night—then curl up in bed to wake up each morning beside each other.  After meeting a mission-critical deadline, George, a silicon valley workaholic engineer, finally seeks medical attention for a strange lesion on his chest. Results? A rare cancer diagnosis. But George keeps Debbie in the dark. George never truly divulges his condition, progress, or lack thereof. George even legally forbids his medical teams from disclosing information to Debbie! Why did George do this? Was he protecting Debbie? His elderly parents? Something else? George passes. Debbie's world stops. She's barely fifty years old. What now? Where to start?  Deb's unvarnished dark-humored once-upon-a-time story reveals her loss of identity, disabling grief, shame, naiveté, discovery, perseverance, forgiveness, grace, and hope.  Debbie Weiss's website, blog, and link to buy her book.  https://www.thehungoverwidow.com Thanks for listening. Join us for part 2 of 3. Because you shouldn't have to journey alone, join me in the My Spouse Died Too community email list for members-only benefits: Behind-the-scenes commentary gives you deeper insight--helps you heal. Episode alerts so you'll know when a new episode is ready. Updates on past podcast guests because their journeys continue too. Plus more thoughts, resources, and random widowed journey stuff I discover. And it's the best way to contact me. Because you shouldn't have to journey alone. Sign-up takes less than thirty-two seconds. Here's the link: https://www.myspousediedtoo.com. Hope. Heal. Find love again. Give Grief The Middle Finger. ~ Emeric My Spouse Died Too podcast, images, logos, artwork copyright © 2019-2022 by Emeric McCleary. Music and lyrics © 2019-2022 by Emeric McCleary and Elena McCleary.

In this final episode, Derek goes back to work and details his challenges as a single dad. Then Derek describes how his impulsive Facebook birthday wishes to a former high school classmate four months after Emily passed, turn into a coffee date…and more. Now, Derek contemplates dating, the timing since Emily's death, and the confusion he feels, mixed with grief. Derek tells us how he meets one-on-one with his extended family to announce he's dating. Derek gingerly admits and explains family “mixed reviews” and “a little backlash.” Next— I know this is a tease, but in this final episode, Derek makes a bold announcement—listen to find out. And there's more: Why grief ambushes Derek when he folds freshly laundered clothes. Twirl and Dip. You'll hear Derek reminisce how one song, no matter if home or in public, spurs Derek and Emily to lovingly slow dance. Of course, romantic Derek twirls and dips Emily. Derek shares his one-word aspirational message, it speaks volumes. I encourage you to write the word and review it each day. And tons more. Please enjoy this final heartfelt chat with my widowed guest co-host Derek Dibbens. Thanks for listening. If you haven't heard part 1 or 2, the links are here: Part 1    Part 2 Because you shouldn't have to journey alone, join me in the My Spouse Died Too community email list for members-only benefits: Behind-the-scenes commentary gives you deeper insight--helps you heal. Episode alerts so you'll know when a new episode is ready. Updates on past podcast guests because their journeys continue too. Plus more thoughts, resources, and random widowed journey stuff I discover. And it's the best way to contact me. Because you shouldn't have to journey alone. Sign-up takes less than thirty-two seconds. Here's the link: https://www.myspousediedtoo.com. Hope. Heal. Find love again. Give Grief The Middle Finger. ~ Emeric My Spouse Died Too podcast, images, logos, artwork copyright © 2019-2022 by Emeric McCleary. Music and lyrics © 2019-2022 by Emeric McCleary and Elena McCleary.

Deep into treatment, Derek's young wife Emily seeks a second opinion with the world-renowned cancer specialists at MD Anderson in Houston Texas. You'll hear what the doctors say, their plan.   How Derek compartmentalizes:  One moment he's a husband, the next, he's a caregiver, and at the same time, father to their baby boy.  Wearing three hats, how does he do this? You'll hear why Derek had to smuggle his baby boy INTO the hospital. And with conflicted heavy hearts, we contemplate how, with cancer treatment, it feels as if we choose to slowly kill our loved one, because, if left untreated, cancer might kill faster. Right after Emily's funeral, Derek chooses to take a road trip with his baby son. Derek explains why. And plenty more! Bulletoes She Wanted A Second Opinion Scan-xiety Cancer is fu#&ed up Valentine's Weekend The New Nightmare Please Just Go Blank Smuggling Our Baby INTO The Hospital Compartmentalizing: Caregiver, Husband, and Father Killing Her Slower Fiesta Night Angelic Hospice Nurses Father and Baby Son Road Trip If you haven't listened to part 1, here's the link. Because you shouldn't have to journey alone, join me in the My Spouse Died Too community email list for members-only benefits: Behind-the-scenes commentary gives you deeper insight--helps you heal. Episode alerts so you'll know when a new episode is ready. Updates on past podcast guests because their journeys continue too. Plus more thoughts, resources, and random widowed journey stuff I discover. And it's the best way to contact me. Because you shouldn't have to journey alone. Sign-up takes less than thirty-two seconds. Here's the link: https://www.myspousediedtoo.com. Hope. Heal. Find love again. ~ Emeric My Spouse Died Too podcast, images, logos, artwork copyright © 2019-2022 by Emeric McCleary. Music and lyrics © 2019-2022 by Emeric McCleary and Elena McCleary.

Newlyweds in their twenties, Derek and Emily dreamt of parenthood with a kid-filled home. For six years, pregnancy eluded Derek and Emily.  One afternoon, during the summer of 2019, Emily gives Derek miraculous news “You're going to be a Dad.” Infinite joy unleashes. Six months later, it's January 2020, right before the Covid-19 pandemic erupts. Emily's textbook perfect pregnancy progresses. Just three months until the due date, but something isn't right. Emily has breast pain. Prescribed antibiotics can't fix it. Emily is biopsied. Derek and Emily fear the worst because Emily's OB/GYN insists on delivering biopsy results in person. They receive a heartbreaking diagnosis. Courageous Emily starts the biggest fight of her life, for their unborn son, and herself. This challenging three-part story tests faith, shouts courage and resilience, and how Derek picks up the pieces and forges his new life as a widowed young Dad with a two-year-old son. Bullets Once Upon A Time Five Minutes On The Phone We Tried For Six Years Dude, You're Gonna Be A Dad The Biopsy Nine Centimeters, Failed Anesthesia Surgery Tomorrow To Save Your Life! Surgery During Covid: Kiss Her Goodbye and Drive Off Two Weeks After Double Mastectomy: Déjà Vu She Wanted A Second Opinion Thanks for listening. Because you shouldn't have to journey alone, join me in the My Spouse Died Too community email list for members-only benefits: Behind-the-scenes commentary gives you deeper insight--helps you heal. Episode alerts so you'll know when a new episode is ready. Updates on past podcast guests because their journeys continue too. Plus more thoughts, resources, and random widowed journey stuff I discover. And it's the best way to contact me. Because you shouldn't have to journey alone. Sign-up takes less than thirty-two seconds. Here's the link: https://www.myspousediedtoo.com. Hope. Heal. Find love again. ~ Emeric My Spouse Died Too podcast, images, logos, artwork copyright © 2019-2022 by Emeric McCleary. Music and lyrics © 2019-2022 by Emeric McCleary and Elena McCleary.

“How does one recover from narcissistic abuse?” Molly explores the question. You'll hear how, despite the years of psychological abuse, Molly conjures the courage, embodies resilience, and chooses to face her new life to rise from the ashes like a Phoenix. When I shared with Molly the words “…to rise from the ashes like a Phoenix,” she laughed nervously because this is unbearable. A Sisyphean task. You don't “fix” yourself overnight with a couple of Brené Brown books and ten insurance-approved therapy sessions. (I own and recommend Brené's books.) The trust issues. Will Molly ever trust anyone again—especially a man? How might that impact the rest of her life? Molly can't operate in a vacuum. She's not the only one requiring repair, but the damage to her kids and their psychologically fractured relationship with Molly. What about Molly's befuddled siblings? Molly's father was ultimately duped. The in-laws. The disbelievers. The piles of shame because Dick deceived all. Yet resilient Molly—against all odds—exclaims triumphantly, “My personality is coming back!” To me, that's cause for a ticker-tape parade! As I type this, my eyes well up with tears of joy. Molly refers to a Garth Brooks song—Unanswered Prayers. Molly talks about how unanswered prayers turned out to be blessings. Hard to disagree with Molly. So much more in this final episode. If you haven't listened to parts 1, 2, or 3 do that first or you won't be thrilled. Here are the links to Part 1 and Part 2   Part 3. Thanks for listening. Because you shouldn't have to journey alone, join me in the My Spouse Died Too community email list for members-only benefits: Behind-the-scenes commentary gives you deeper insight--helps you heal. Episode alerts so you'll know when a new episode is ready. Updates on past podcast guests because their journeys continue too. Plus more thoughts, resources, and random widowed journey stuff I discover. And it's the best way to contact me. Because you shouldn't have to journey alone. Sign-up takes less than fifty-seven seconds. Here's the link: https://www.myspousediedtoo.com. Hope. Heal. Find love again. ~ Emeric My Spouse Died Too podcast, images, logos, artwork copyright © 2019-2022 by Emeric McCleary. Music and lyrics © 2019-2022 by Emeric McCleary and Elena McCleary.

Warning: Crash helmet is required for this mind-bending episode because Molly blows the roof off! If you haven't listened to parts 1 and 2, do that first or you'll be lost. Here are the links to Part 1 and Part 2. Elusive puzzle pieces and climactic revelations clearly appear. The breadcrumbs, all the clues MolIy drops, lead to what I call the inconceivable twist. Molly grieves Dick's death. But, barely a week after the funeral, Molly is summoned to an emergency meeting with her husband's business department heads, accountant, and attorney. One long-time loyal employee starts the meeting by declaring to Molly, "I don't know what you've been told." Questionable business dealings are disclosed. Molly's world turns upside down. Molly soon discovers her late husband Dick is not the man everyone saw on the surface. Molly labels the real diagnosis behind Dick's behavior. And it's the essence of evil. Remember the title of this series, My Grief Was Gaslighted? Molly defines gaslighting. But worse, she identifies and labels exactly who might employ this mind-melting tactic. Molly reveals Dick's befitting mental condition—with its own special name. A person with this disorder is a stealthy perpetrator—the pure essence of evil. And Molly describes exactly how the perpetrator chooses his target. Revelations vindicate and crush Molly—because she realizes, for decades, she was the target. Right in Dick's cross-hairs, Molly was the bullseye. And there's more… Dick had a secret addiction. And secret money accounts. Secrets kept from Molly. Did others know? Molly details the corrosive mind games plied against her — and her kids. And I point-blank ask, How did you not see this? And what is grief like now? And now, what loss do you grieve? Please listen diligently to part three of my late evening conversation with widowed guest co-host Molly Murphy. If you haven't listened to parts 1 and 2, do that first or you'll be lost. Here are the links to Part 1   Part 2. Link to my sister's podcast episode Three Weddings. Thanks for listening. Because you shouldn't have to journey alone, join me in the My Spouse Died Too community email list for members-only benefits: Behind-the-scenes commentary gives you deeper insight--helps you heal. Episode alerts so you'll know when a new episode is ready. Updates on past podcast guests because their journeys continue too. Plus more thoughts, resources, and random widowed journey stuff I discover. And it's the best way to contact me. Because you shouldn't have to journey alone. Sign-up takes less than fifty-seven seconds. Here's the link: https://www.myspousediedtoo.com. Hope. Heal. Find love again. ~ Emeric My Spouse Died Too podcast, images, logos, artwork copyright © 2019-2022 by Emeric McCleary. Music and lyrics © 2019-2022 by Emeric McCleary and Elena McCleary.

In this episode (2 of 4), Molly's husband Dick makes one last-ditch effort to counter his failed treatments and inescapable prognosis. Dick receives a fortuitous referral to visit an eminent cancer doctor specializing in Dick's exact diagnosis. This doctor is at a top research facility globally—Sloan Kettering Cancer Center in Manhattan, New York City. You'll hear what the doctor says about Dick's prognosis—and where Dick ends up. Put on your seatbelt as Molly details relationship strains from the past, to present odd behaviors. Molly drops more breadcrumbs, more clues. If you haven't listened to part one, here's the link. Bullets Last Ditch Effort THE Eminent Doctor Says… Inexplicable Odd Moments Everything Caves In That Song Becoming Unhinged Mosh Pit Hospice Like a Loopy Five Year Old Taken Away: Food, Drinking, and Sex Ensure: The Quintessential Cancer Drink Thanks for listening. Because you shouldn't have to journey alone, join me in the My Spouse Died Too community email list for members-only benefits: Behind-the-scenes commentary gives you deeper insight--helps you heal. Episode alerts so you'll know when a new episode is ready. Updates on past podcast guests because their journeys continue too. Plus more thoughts, resources, and random widowed journey stuff I discover. And it's the best way to contact me. Because you shouldn't have to journey alone. Sign-up takes less than fifty-seven seconds. Here's the link: https://www.myspousediedtoo.com. Hope. Heal. Find love again. ~ Emeric My Spouse Died Too podcast, images, logos, artwork copyright © 2019-2022 by Emeric McCleary. Music and lyrics © 2019-2022 by Emeric McCleary and Elena McCleary

Widowed guest co-host Molly Murphy joins us. But there's a catch. Molly Murphy isn't her real name. Molly tells her story with an alias, a fake name because she must protect the truly innocent and the potentially guilty. Every widow or widower's story and grief is custom-made. And yes, all our stories share similarities, including Molly's, but in the end, Molly's story has a twist, and it's is an absolute jaw-dropper. But Molly is not our average guest—because of the eye-popping discoveries Molly makes AFTER her husband passes. Discoveries ABOUT her husband. Molly and her husband Dick's story starts like many of our widowed guests— a young, hope, dream, and promise-filled newlywed couple journeys through the ups and downs of life. On the surface, Molly's life looks enviable—children arrive, business booms, big money flows. But life is not what it appears to be. Under the surface, building ever since Molly met Dick, a complex puzzle, a puzzle about her husband, with many missing or blurry pieces. Did Molly's gut sense something off-putting? Years march on. There's a diagnosis. Unsuccessful Treatment. Dick dies. After Dick's death, Molly mourns. Molly grieves. Molly is bereft. Then, an inconceivable twist. Because short weeks after the funeral, one by one, elusive puzzle pieces and climactic revelations clearly appear.  Molly discovers her husband is not the man everyone saw on the surface. The discoveries will shock and appall you to your core. Especially because you might be or might have been subjected to this type of evil. These unveilings go way beyond my comprehension. Needless to say, it appears miraculous Molly and her kids survived the mental and emotional turmoil, a forever profound scar-filled impact. Molly exudes resilience, and to tell her story, Molly conjures colossal courage, to bare, to bare her soul— her most raw vulnerable self. You'll hear how Molly chooses, and what it takes, professional and spiritual, in the face of insurmountable odds, to forge ahead, to hope, to heal, day by day, to rise from the ashes, like a Phoenix. Please enjoy part 1 of our chardonnay relaxed evening with my widowed guest co-host, also known as Molly Murphy. Bullets I'm Not Your Average Podcast Guest Like In The Shining Misdiagnosed! His Worst Fear: Prostate Removal Researching Doctors Across America The Rhetorical Question Don't Doctors Read The Same Book? Walking Dirty Bomb Thanks for listening. Because you shouldn't have to journey alone, join me in the My Spouse Died Too community email list for members-only benefits: Behind-the-scenes commentary gives you deeper insight--helps you heal. Episode alerts so you'll know when a new episode is ready. Updates on past podcast guests because their journeys continue too. Plus more thoughts, resources, and random widowed journey stuff I discover. And it's the best way to contact me. Because you shouldn't have to journey alone. Sign-up takes less than fifty-seven seconds. Here's the link: https://www.myspousediedtoo.com. Hope. Heal. Find love again. ~ Emeric My Spouse Died Too podcast, images, logos, artwork copyright © 2019-2022 by Emeric McCleary. Music and lyrics © 2019-2022 by Emeric McCleary and Elena McCleary

Stumbling and bumbling, Barb Flynn and I finish my Match online dating application. This is part two. If you missed part one, you can click and listen to it here. Barb and I read and comment on actual women's profiles matched to mine. If someday you might consider dating, or if you're already active with a dating app, listen carefully because Barb gives loads more insight, tips, and warnings.  Please enjoy our random raw banter in this last episode of I'm Dating—Hear Me Sign-Up Live for Match.com Bullets No Turning Back Fake Dating Profiles How To View Your Competition More Profile Pic Tips Why You Shouldn't Use Filters How to Avoid The Dating App Time Suck Tighten Your Profile Tips On Detecting Scammers Thanks for listening. If you aren't a My Spouse Died Too community member, please read the following... Because you shouldn't have to journey alone, join me in the My Spouse Died Too community email list for members-only benefits: Behind-the-scenes commentary gives you deeper insight--helps you heal. Episode alerts so you'll know when a new episode is ready. Updates on past podcast guests because their journeys continue too. Plus more thoughts, resources, and random widowed journey stuff I discover. And it's the best way to contact me. Because you shouldn't have to journey alone. Sign-up takes less than fifty-seven seconds. Here's the link: https://www.myspousediedtoo.com. Past Episode Links Mentioned: Dear Donna, I'm Finally Dating Part 1  Part 2 Barb Flynn: I Love You Too, Babe Part 1  Part 2  Part 3 Dr. Jennifer Katz: The Good Widow Part 1  Part 2  Part 3  Part 4 Dr. Katz link to her website and to buy her book: https://www.thegoodwidow.com Hope. Heal. Find love again. ~ Emeric My Spouse Died Too podcast, images, logos, artwork copyright © 2019-2022 by Emeric McCleary. Music and lyrics © 2019-2022 by Emeric McCleary and Elena McCleary

WARNING. This two-part series is R-rated. If curse words and sexual innuendo don't send you running, then stick around. Guest co-host Barb Flynn kindly walks me through the actual live sign-up and setup of the Match.com online dating profile. We set my profile up because after four dates with the first woman I dated (since my late spouse)—things ended—she rekindled a past romance. Great experience. I have zero regrets and no resentment. You can hear all about that in the two episodes of Dear Donna, I'm Finally Dating. Here are those links: Part 1  Part 2 So…my dating quest continues...and I add being alert to the unexpected beauty in life. Ponder that. Now, if you think you'd like to, or you already date online, Barb's insights and my bumbling live sign-up give you examples of…what not to do so you save time and make the process less painful and hopefully fruitful. In this episode, as we walk or crawl live through the Match.com sign-up, you'll discover tips and challenges on how to set up a dating subscription, what to avoid, and how to answer the app's confusing questions. But there's a lot more…for example, we expose women's effective flirting secrets. (Dear listener, you'll want to be alert to this so you don't waste your time with indifferent prospects). You'll also hear dating tips and harsh realities of online dating. Please enjoy our chit-chat while Barb coaches me, Emeric McCleary, through the Match.com sign-up process: Thanks for listening. Episode Links Mentioned: Dear Donna, I'm Finally Dating Part 1  Part 2 Episode Bullets Flirting Secrets Exposed DO NOT Use This Profile Pic Entering the Shyt Show (On-Line Dating) Should Fido Be In Your Picture? Why You Might Not Say You're Widowed Pulling The Trigger Because you shouldn't have to journey alone, join me in the My Spouse Died Too community email list for members-only benefits: Behind-the-scenes commentary gives you deeper insight--helps you heal. Episode alerts so you'll know when a new episode is ready. Updates on past podcast guests because their journeys continue too. Plus more thoughts, resources, and random widowed journey stuff I discover. And it's the best way to contact me. Because you shouldn't have to journey alone. Sign-up takes less than fifty-seven seconds. Here's the link: https://www.myspousediedtoo.com. Hope. Heal. Find love again. ~ Emeric My Spouse Died Too podcast, images, logos, artwork copyright © 2019-2022 by Emeric McCleary. Music and lyrics © 2019-2022 by Emeric McCleary and Elena McCleary

Beer-infused evening ramble continues! Barb Flynn and I recorded just twenty-four hours before my upcoming third date with Miss Kayak. In this episode, I share what I believe is the most important part of an online dating profile— the written summary—this is where you say something about yourself. My list exhausts. I'm told by "dating experts" it's too long. You might be amused or alarmed by what I say. What my nurse practitioner sister warns me about sexually transmitted diseases—my naiveté is exposed. Why Barb dresses differently to shop this unique grocery store. Is she trolling the fresh meat section? Resilience. Courage to date, and plenty more! Please enjoy this meandering final part of Should I Make My Online Dating Profile? Thanks for listening. Past Episode Links Mentioned: Dreams About My Spouse Single Episode Dear Donna, I'm Finally Dating Part 1  Part 2 Barb Flynn: I Love You Too, Babe Part 1  Part 2  Part 3 Dr. Jennifer Katz: The Good Widow Part 1  Part 2  Part 3  Part 4 Dr. Katz link to her website and to buy her book: https://www.thegoodwidow.com This Episode's Short Bullet List Emeric's Dating Profile Notes How To Levitate Trolling Trader Joe's Have You Dreamed About Your Spouse? Why Voldemort Made Me Cry Be Vulnerable -- What's The Trade-Off? How Resilient Is Barb? Because you shouldn't have to journey alone, join me in the My Spouse Died Too community email list for members-only benefits: Behind-the-scenes commentary gives you deeper insight--helps you heal. Episode alerts so you'll know when a new episode is ready. Updates on past podcast guests because their journeys continue too. Plus more thoughts, resources, and random widowed journey stuff I discover. And it's the best way to contact me. Because you shouldn't have to journey alone. Sign-up takes less than fifty-seven seconds. Here's the link: https://www.myspousediedtoo.com. Hope. Heal. Find love again. ~ Emeric My Spouse Died Too podcast, images, logos, artwork copyright © 2019-2022 by Emeric McCleary. Music and lyrics © 2019-2022 by Emeric McCleary and Elena McCleary

Should I Make My Online Dating Profile Now? Returning guest co-host Barb Flynn helps set up my online dating profile. Barb's deadpan sense of humor plays well with mine—naturally, we go off into the weeds (figuratively). We discuss gobs! Warning: Barb and I drank beer before and during recording, but I sound like I beer-bonged espresso—maybe because I was both anxious and delighted to record. Also, to add context, we recorded after I had gone out twice with Miss Kayak. Some discourse is similar to what you hear in the two episodes of “Dear Donna, I'm Finally Dating" --episode links to Part 1 and Part 2. Now…Usually, when I record in-person with a guest co-host, we are more than six feet apart, not because of Covid, but because I need distance between microphones to reduce audio problems. But this time, we share my laptop to set up a Match.com dating profile—so we have to sit next to each other, almost uncomfortably close—and this tension adds to the evening fun, especially because Barb's dead pan sense of humor plays wells with mine. (Please note, Barb and I have not dated each other, and you'll hear why.) This is a two-part series. And in this first part, vulnerable chit chat encompasses insights into— relationships, dating, grit, optimism, actionable advice, and being alert for life's unexpected beauty. And there's more! Barb and I babble about, for example:  Am I too short and old to be a hot date? How to make out in a restaurant like a rock star.  The stupid breakup line you might expect from the narcissistic Taliban. Here's why she won't spoon you. And for my woo-woo sensibilities, is the universe female? Please enjoy our wide-ranging, beer-battered banter in this first part of Should I Make My Online Dating Profile Now?   Bulletinis Learning To Date: Like A Virgin How To Make Out In A Restaurant Like A Rock Star Stupid Male Break-Up Line Who Is The Narcissistic Taliban? Always Say Yes To A Fix-Up, Or Else Crickets—Ghosted On My First Try? Why Mornings Are Less Risky Barb's Hammered Bartender Why Some Cuddle, Then Move On My Quandary Here's Why She Won't Spoon You The Universe Is Female Thanks for listening. Past Episode Links Mentioned: Barb Flynn: I Love You Too, Babe Part 1  Part 2  Part 3 Dr. Jennifer Katz: The Good Widow Part 1  Part 2  Part 3  Part 4 Dr. Katz link to her website and to buy her book: https://www.thegoodwidow.com Because you shouldn't have to journey alone, join me in the My Spouse Died Too community email list for members-only benefits: Behind-the-scenes commentary gives you deeper insight--helps you heal. Episode alerts so you'll know when a new episode is ready. Updates on past podcast guests because their journeys continue too. Plus more thoughts, resources, and random widowed journey stuff I discover. And it's the best way to contact me. Because you shouldn't have to journey alone. Sign-up takes less than a minute. Here's the link: https://www.myspousediedtoo.com. Hope. Heal. Find love again. ~ Emeric My Spouse Died Too podcast, images, logos, artwork copyright © 2019-2022 by Emeric McCleary. Music and lyrics © 2019-2022 by Emeric McCleary and Elena McCleary

In this final episode of Dear Donna, I'm Finally Dating, we pick up where we left off from part one. More Miss Kayak dates! Alcohol dissolves conversation filters.  Head trash ups and downs. When should I kiss my date? Head vs. heart—which wins? Are my wardrobe issues irrational? Why you CAN'T arrive early to pick up your date. Downward dog yoga incident rears its head. Peculiar feeling—what does the gut say? Dating makes me soul-search my principles and core personality—here's my concrete discovery. Where do things go with Miss Kayak? And much more! I mentioned David Leon Designs. My son David's fashion design Instagram site: https://www.instagram.com/davidleondesigns/ Episode Bullets! I'm Not An Axe Killer But Can She Outrun Me? Does My Wardrobe Need Updating? Dinner Involves Alcohol What's It Like To Kiss Again? Female Wardrobe Prep Times We are NOT Eloping Triggered! Would You Like To Come In? What's The Peculiar Feeling? And That's When She Said… Who Am I? Let's See Thanks for listening. Because you shouldn't have to journey alone, join me in the My Spouse Died Too community email list for members-only benefits: Behind-the-scenes commentary gives you deeper insight--helps you heal. Episode alerts so you'll know when a new episode is ready. Updates on past podcast guests because their journeys continue too. Plus more thoughts, resources, and random widowed journey stuff I discover. And it's the best way to contact me. Because you shouldn't have to journey alone. Sign-up takes less than 57 seconds at https://www.myspousediedtoo.com. Hope. Heal. Find love again. ~ Emeric My Spouse Died Too podcast, images, logos, artwork copyright © 2019-2022 by Emeric McCleary. Music and lyrics © 2019-2022 by Emeric McCleary and Elena McCleary

“Dear Donna, I'm Finally Dating” Eight years after my spouse Donna died, I wrote this heartfelt letter to her. In the first of this two-part series, I read the letter—it's about our first date (and how it almost ended in blows), dying, my improbable number one bucket list item, and what Donna wanted for me after her death. Along with my vulnerable random ramblings, I share intimacies—never revealed—even to those closest to me. And to top it off, you'll hear anxious awkward details about my first dating experience since Donna died. Yes, eight years passed before I finally dated. Listen carefully lest you make these mistakes! And there's a whole lot more. Show Bullets Dear Donna Letter The Ex-Boyfriend Blonde Viking I'm Finally Dating Dog, Cat, Or Spider Monkey Did She Say It's Okay to Remarry? Number One Bucket List Item Will You Ever Fall In Love Again? Desiring Intimacy: At What Uncertain Exhaustive Effort? How Does Monkhood Make Sense? I Love You Forever Potential Mulligan Is She A Dominatrix? Ignore The Red Flags Awkward, Weird, and Uncertain My Heart Doesn't Wear A Watch First Date: Shake Hands or Hug? Turkey Buzzards What To Wear On My First Date? Breakfast Downward Dog Should I Kiss Her? Thanks for listening. Join me for part 2 of 2. Past Episode Links Mentioned: Paige Wilson: Pretending To Be Happy Part 1  Part 2  Part 3 Dr. Jennifer Katz: The Good Widow Part 1  Part 2  Part 3  Part 4 Because you shouldn't have to journey alone, join me in the My Spouse Died Too community email list for members-only benefits: Behind-the-scenes commentary gives you deeper insight--helps you heal. Episode alerts so you'll know when a new episode is ready. Updates on past podcast guests because their journeys continue too. Plus more thoughts, resources, and random widowed journey stuff I discover. And it's the best way to contact me. Because you shouldn't have to journey alone. Sign-up now at https://www.myspousediedtoo.com. Hope. Heal. Find love again. ~ Emeric My Spouse Died Too podcast, images, logos, artwork copyright © 2019-2022 by Emeric McCleary. Music and lyrics © 2019-2022 by Emeric McCleary and Elena McCleary

Four book recommendations for the widowed. Three authors have been on the podcast as widowed guest co-hosts. The fourth author is not widowed. Her book was recommended to me by one of the widowed guest co-hosts. Now, I'm not going to have an author on the show if I won't recommend their book. That would be awkward. And I only recommend books I have read. When I read, I underline. Write notes and questions in the margins. If I feel the book gives enough value (sorry I can't define enough), I'll book a recording appointment with the author. Before I have the author on the podcast, I reread the book and make 8 to 12 pages of handwritten notes for a podcast recording session. I'll never recommend something to you if I don't feel it delivers value. Value is subjective, and your definition of value is probably different than mine. To me, a non-fiction book delivers value if I get something out of it. For instance, an actionable tactic, or a different way of looking at a problem. Or something exhilarates me. Helps me heal. For me, the list goes on. I'll never make a recommendation if I don't feel it delivers value. Okay—Back to the books, the authors are from different walks of life and a wide age range—30's and up. Big city to a small rural town. All in the United States. All the authors are female. Refreshing for me as a male—these books come with an added bonus. Because you get insight into women. Their perspective, thoughts, challenges, fears, emotional needs, and wants. What's important in their relationships and more. In other words,  how to treat women. I wholeheartedly believe understanding and acting on it will make you a better listener, friend, lover, partner, or spouse. The overall theme with all the widowed authors' books is with their story, their experience, and in some cases, their professional expertise--they want to help others. That's you and me. Like you (I know that's an assumption), the widowed authors didn't want to be part of the widowed community, but what I see is they choose to find meaning in their suffering—beauty in their odyssey. And they summon the courage to write and share intimate details with you—in the hope of helping you, to feel seen—to feel heard. To give you hope so you can heal, find love again, and give grief the middle finger. Links for the authors' books, websites, and podcast episodes are below. Most of the authors have more resources on their websites. Resources you might find valuable. If you are a member of the MSDToo community email list, that's where you get Behind-The-Scenes details and Show Alerts, I'll email you details and all the links so you can click to your heart's content. And … if you're not a member of the My Spouse Died Too community email list, consider joining. Takes less than 32 seconds. Join at myspousediedtoo.com. I recommend you read the books, then listen to the respective episodes to get a powerful feel for the widowed author. For me, that's a selfish pleasure I get from reading the book, then hearing and seeing the author live! Thanks for listening. Links are below. Book 1  Boldly Into The Darkness: Living with Loss, Growing with Grief & Holding onto Happiness by Autumn Toelle-Jackson This link above is to Autumn Toelle-Jackson's website with resources and her book. Autumn's Podcast Episodes: 43  44  45  46  Book 2 the rebellious WIDOW: A Practical Guide to Love and Life After Loss by Jill Johnson-Young, LCSW Jill Johnson-Young's website Jill's website has tons of resources. Jill's Podcast Episodes: 51  52  53 Book 3 The Good Widow: A Memoir of Living with Loss by Jennifer Katz, PhD Jenny Katz's link takes you to her website where you'll find her book, blog, and discussion guide. Jenny's Podcast Episodes: 65  66  67  68 Book 4 Getting Naked Again—Dating, Romance, Sex, and Love When You've Been Divorced, Widowed, Dumped, or Distracted by Judith Sills. PhD Getting Naked Again link goes to Amazon. Happy reading and listening! And if you haven't already... Because you shouldn't have to journey alone, join me in the My Spouse Died Too community email list for members-only benefits: Behind-the-scenes commentary gives you deeper insight--helps you heal. Episode alerts so you'll know when a new episode is ready. Updates on past podcast guests because their journeys continue too. Plus more thoughts, resources, and random widowed journey stuff I discover. And it's the best way to contact me. Because you shouldn't have to journey alone. Sign-up now at https://www.myspousediedtoo.com. Hope. Heal. Find love again. ~ Emeric My Spouse Died Too podcast, images, logos, artwork copyright © 2019-2021 by Emeric McCleary. Music and lyrics © 2019-2021 by Emeric McCleary and Elena McCleary

The psychic prediction that came true—Is this mere coincidence? Listen and decide for yourself. After the death of her husband Tris, Jenny describes her first romantic kiss—what she didn't feel, but what she felt. All of a sudden, he got possessive. A switch flips and jerk behavior ensues. The ethical slut: defense of a slutty widow.  This references the poly community (polyamory is the practice of, or desire for, intimate relationships with more than one partner, with the informed consent of all partners involved). Jenny brings this up because if you were in love with your spouse when he or she died, in a sense, you carry that relationship with you. Like a polyamorous relationship.  Profound heartfelt discussion. Coffee with Bruce: first date number thirty-six. Is he the last first date?  And there's plenty more! The link to order Jenny's book The Good Widow - A Memoir of Living with Loss and the blog website is below. If you are a member of the My Spouse Died Too community email list, you'll get the links in your Behind-The-Scenes email. Jennifer Katz's website, blog, and book discussion questions: https://www.thegoodwidow.com. Bullets The First Kiss--Not With Tris Couch Talk (Like Pillow Talk) He Got Possessive The Ethical Slut Poly Community Date Number Thirty-Six Coffee With Bruce He Brought Flowers, Then He Moved In The 100% Accurate Psychic Prediction Wholehearted Living Openness To The Unexpected Thanks for listening. In case you haven't listened to other parts, here are links for Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3. Because you shouldn't have to journey alone, join me in the My Spouse Died Too community email list for members-only benefits: Behind-the-scenes commentary gives you deeper insight--helps you heal. Episode alerts so you'll know when a new episode is ready. Updates on past podcast guests because their journeys continue too. Plus more thoughts, resources, and random widowed journey stuff I discover. And it's the best way to contact me. Because you shouldn't have to journey alone. Sign-up now at https://www.myspousediedtoo.com. Hope. Heal. Find love again. ~ Emeric My Spouse Died Too podcast, images, logos, artwork copyright © 2019-2021 by Emeric McCleary. Music and lyrics © 2019-2021 by Emeric McCleary and Elena McCleary

Why Jenny feels guilty and embarrassed (about most of her book). Jenny goes on thirty-six first dates. More thoughts on psychic healing. Widowed with stepkids. Your spouse is gone, will your stepkids drift away? The problem with perfectionism. Critical emoji texting etiquette: This emoji will get you into trouble or into fun. I read Jenny's essay How To Date A Widow. It's a true tutorial I believe anyone considering dating a widow should read, and there are lessons here for all of us (male or female). The shame-filled fairytale we are raised to believe. You know how people say "things always work out?" But what do they mean by work out?  Jenny brilliantly reframes what it means. And there are tons more. The link to order Jenny's book The Good Widow - A Memoir of Living with Loss and the blog website is below. If you are a member of the My Spouse Died Too community email list, you'll get the links in your Behind-The-Scenes email. Jennifer Katz's website, blog, and book discussion questions: https://www.thegoodwidow.com. Bullets Guilty And Embarrassed Psychic Healing Camp Widow He Should Be Here! Sunny The Psychic (Sister Vickey's Medium) Counter Factual Thinking Will Your Step Kids Disappear? Biological Link Fallacy Perfectionism Problem Asking My Daughter For Permission First Date: Crying There And Back DWTFYWTD (F-Bomb In There) Reconstructing My Narrative Thirty-Six First Dates Do Men Only Look At Pictures? Shame Filled Fairytale Emoji Etiquette--Got Eggplant? How Things Workout--Please Define Workout Thanks for listening. Join us for final part 4 of 4. In case you haven't listened, here are links for Part 1 and Part 2. Other links mentioned in this current episode:  Episode 11 Three Weddings (My sister Vickey is guest co-host) Episode 40: I Found Another Soulmate. Then He Died. Camp Widow Because you shouldn't have to journey alone, join me in the My Spouse Died Too community email list for members-only benefits: Behind-the-scenes commentary gives you deeper insight--helps you heal. Episode alerts so you'll know when a new episode is ready. Updates on past podcast guests because their journeys continue too. Plus more thoughts, resources, and random widowed journey stuff I discover. And it's the best way to contact me. Because you shouldn't have to journey alone. Sign-up now at https://www.myspousediedtoo.com. Hope. Heal. Find love again. ~ Emeric My Spouse Died Too podcast, images, logos, artwork copyright © 2019-2021 by Emeric McCleary. Music and lyrics © 2019-2021 by Emeric McCleary and Elena McCleary

I read essays from Jenny's book The Good Widow - A Memoir of Living with Loss. In one essay, titled Bone Cold, Jenny musters the courage to expose her innermost thoughts—pure raw vulnerability. When I ask Jenny, you'll hear her explain what was really going on when she wrote the piece. You might wonder if Jenny's a masochist. Jenny the psychologist sees a psychic— are psychic mediums helpful or are you playing with fire? Brutal self-punishment. How we conflate health and weight. Why angry Jenny exercised like a meth head. Jenny's crazy weight loss. Daughter Maddy's first violin recital without Daddy. I read the essay A Letter to Grief (you need to sit for this). Feeling permanently incomplete. Why and how Jenny now expresses her feelings, compliments, and appreciation with conviction. Valentine's Day regrets. The hugest betrayal. And lots more. The link to order Jenny's book The Good Widow - A Memoir of Living with Loss and the blog website is below. If you are a member of the My Spouse Died Too community email list, you'll get the links in your Behind-The-Scenes email. Jennifer Katz's website, blog, and book discussion questions: https://www.thegoodwidow.com.  Bullets Bone Cold Conflation: Weight Loss=Good Health? How To Exercise Like Meth Heads Fear and Loathing in Rochester Angry and Self-Punishing First Recital Without Daddy M.C Escher A Letter To Grief Reconfigured and Reshaped: Death FX Permanently Incomplete No More Slack! How The World Is Now Super Clarity Hold Nothing Back The Time Is Now, Express With Intent The Tricky Grief Group Judgy Jenny. LOL The Hugest Betrayal Thanks for listening. Join us for part 3 of 4. If you haven't listened to part 1 here's the link. Because you shouldn't have to journey alone, join me in the My Spouse Died Too community email list for members-only benefits: Behind-the-scenes commentary gives you deeper insight--helps you heal. Episode alerts so you'll know when a new episode is ready. Updates on past podcast guests because their journeys continue too. Plus more thoughts, resources, and random widowed journey stuff I discover. And it's the best way to contact me. Because you shouldn't have to journey alone. Sign-up now at https://www.myspousediedtoo.com. Hope. Heal. Find love again. ~ Emeric My Spouse Died Too podcast, images, logos, artwork copyright © 2019-2021 by Emeric McCleary. Music and lyrics © 2019-2021 by Emeric McCleary and Elena McCleary

Widowed guest co-host Dr. Jennifer Katz joins us. Dr. Katz is a tenured Professor of Clinical Psychology at the State University of New York at Geneseo. Dr. Katz just published her book: The Good Widow - A Memoir of Living with Loss. Dr. Katz goes by Jenny. It's August 2018, Jenny and her husband Tris have a fifteen-year-old daughter, Maddy, and a twenty-seven-year-old son, Jonah. Two relaxed weeks before Jenny's university work starts full-force for fall, Jenny and daughter Maddy go out for an early-morning breakfast. Life is good. After breakfast, they meet one of Jenny's former students for coffee.  While enjoying coffee, Jenny sees a text from her husband and the text says “May be having heart attack. Called 911. Ambulance on the way.” Jenny and Maddy dash from coffee to car, to hospital, expecting to see Tris alive in the ICU. Instead, Jenny and Maddy are placed in a tiny dull private waiting room— where doctors deliver a diagnosis, prognosis, or finality. Eventually, a medical resident and social worker enter to deliver the news. “I'm sorry, your husband died. He seemed to have had a heart attack. We were unable to revive him although we tried everything we could.” Jenny is catapulted into the eye of a widow's hurricane. You know I don't bring authors onto the podcast unless I've read their book, and feel their words can bring value and healing to you, my dear listener. The Good Widow delivers exponentially! Jenny's crystal clear prose is gorgeous and gut-wrenching. From death to dating, Jenny bares her heart—the vulnerable, the private, and the raw. And there are blessings in her book. Just one example, for me it's laced with kindly convicting lessons on how to treat your spouse so you both enjoy a love-filled and intimate relationship 'til death do you part. Jenny details how Tris treated her and communicated with her. I took too much for granted when my spouse was alive. I can't change my past. I can't control the future. But I can still learn from others and live a more fulfilled life. Thank you Tris for being a role model. I had such an exhilarating time, Jenny and I talked for hours and there's so much we didn't cover. The links to order Jenny's book and blog website are below. If you are a member of the My Spouse Died Too community email list, you'll get the links in your Behind-The-Scenes email. Jennifer Katz's website, blog, and book discussion questions: https://www.thegoodwidow.com.  Bullets Happy Birthday Jenny Deathiversary Toasts The Weird Man--He Became My Husband The Cannolis I'm Infertile...Go Home He Died. How Am I Suppose To Be A Parent? Courting Lessons He's Trauma Man--What I Was Wrong About I Have A Short Life Expectancy Celebrate Hard Post Traumatic Growth The Breakfast Text Grief Is Unforgiving Feeling Seen Back To Work In Two Weeks Feeling Like A Liar--An Imposter The Empathy Meter No Sleep For Nine Months You Can't Handle The Truth! The Saddest Thing The Practical Fantasy Hokey Woo-Woo Bone Cold Thanks for listening. Join us for part 2 of 4.  Because you shouldn't have to journey alone, join me in the My Spouse Died Too community email list for members-only benefits: Behind-the-scenes commentary gives you deeper insight--helps you heal. Episode alerts so you'll know when a new episode is ready. Updates on past podcast guests because their journeys continue too. Plus more thoughts, resources, and random widowed journey stuff I discover. And it's the best way to contact me. Because you shouldn't have to journey alone. Sign-up now at https://www.myspousediedtoo.com. Hope. Heal. Find love again. ~ Emeric My Spouse Died Too podcast, images, logos, artwork copyright © 2019-2021 by Emeric McCleary. Music and lyrics © 2019-2021 by Emeric McCleary and Elena McCleary

Didn't the world stop when your spouse died? Letting go of friends and family--even if only temporarily. Since your spouse's death, are you more empathic or less or both? Glimpses of how Julie and I parent our respective kids without their respective Dad or Mom.  Hint: It's not easy.  There's no do-over.  And sometimes, you have to keep your mouth shut. Julie's engaged without a wedding date.  Why? Julie reveals the real reason. Can this be worked out? Is sabotage on the horizon? Okay, so Julie's engaged, but has she and John had the critically important conversation about finances? Julie talks about giving grace. A great lesson for me. After we recorded, I researched the concept of giving grace. It's hard for me. But it's meaningful and beautiful.  Finding beauty in life's messiness--if you are open to it. What is Julie's worst-case scenario? Marriage is hard, Do you give up one person's dreams over another?  I the journey of finding a new love worth it? And so much more! Julie's prior show and God winks serendipity interview links are below the Bullets. Bulletz How Is The World Not Stopping? Empathy, More or Less Magic Words--They Don't Work Anymore Not Sweating The Small Stuff Anymore Your Kids Have To Experience Tough Things Why Don't My Kids Call More? Engaged, But No Wedding Date? Give Grace--Here's Why Trust Issues Trying-Working-Staying In Love Isn't Easy It's So Messy--Life. Worst Case Scenario Is Finding New Love Worth It? Thanks for listening. Julie's God winks interview link here. Julie's Once-Upon-A-Time story past episodes and blog links: Episode 8: Out, Damned Spot! Episode 9: Too Soon? Julie's Blog Because you shouldn't have to journey alone, join me in the My Spouse Died Too community email list for members-only benefits: Behind-the-scenes commentary gives you deeper insight--helps you heal. Episode alerts so you'll know when a new episode is ready. Updates on past podcast guests because their journeys continue too. Plus more thoughts, resources, and random widowed journey stuff I discover. And it's the best way to contact me. Because you shouldn't have to journey alone. Sign-up now at https://www.myspousediedtoo.com. Hope. Heal. Find love again. ~ Emeric My Spouse Died Too podcast, images, logos, artwork copyright © 2019-2021 by Emeric McCleary. Music and lyrics © 2019-2021 by Emeric McCleary and Elena McCleary

Julie and the supernatural hummingbirds--can you find comfort in supernatural signs. Are they God sent, serendipity, or something else? Julie and her fiancé John courageously move into a new house together.  Fearing adult kid mutinous protest, can Julie and John figure out how to celebrate their first Thanksgiving and Christmas like one big happy family?  Or does it turn into a cluster-f? Julie reveals her biggest hang-up. Julie is the outsider in fiancé John's decades-old social circle. Will John's friends accept Julie? Does Julie compete with John's late spouse? John's late spouse was also named Julie. Your late spouse's family drifts away. Now what? Feeling abandoned? Orphaned? Got Resilience?  How widowhood refines you. And you'll hear about Julie's peculiar PTSD. Freaky. And lots more! Julie's prior show and God winks serendipity interview links are below The Bullets. The Bullets Supernatural Hummingbirds Packing Two Houses Thanksgiving Christmas Challenge Signs, Coincidences, And Comfort The Late Spouse Rooms Julie's PTSD Finding Common Ground With His Adult Kids Shifting Friends I'm The Outsider Late Spouse Competition Abandoned and Orphaned? Resiliency--How Hard Times Refine Kids Mortality Worries Thanks for listening. Julie's God winks interview link here. Julie's Once-Upon-A-Time story past episodes and blog links: Episode 8: Out, Damned Spot! Episode 9: Too Soon? Julie's Blog Because you shouldn't have to journey alone, join me in the My Spouse Died Too community email list for members-only benefits: Behind-the-scenes commentary gives you deeper insight--helps you heal. Episode alerts so you'll know when a new episode is ready. Updates on past podcast guests because their journeys continue too. Plus more thoughts, resources, and random widowed journey stuff I discover. And it's the best way to contact me. Because you shouldn't have to journey alone. Sign-up now at https://www.myspousediedtoo.com. Hope. Heal. Find love again. ~ Emeric My Spouse Died Too podcast, images, logos, artwork copyright © 2019-2021 by Emeric McCleary. Music and lyrics © 2019-2021 by Emeric McCleary and Elena McCleary

Julie Metzger returns and pulls back the curtains for you to see the messiness and beauty in life. Exhausted from years of holding and lifting everybody else up, who's holding Julie up? Who holds you up? Vibes about people—how Julie trusts her gut. Julie's zero-calorie vampire tendencies. Julie the Olympic Hugger. Are adult kids sabotaging your new life? Netflix and Chillin'—Hmmm? Wait, is Julie getting married? God-winks, serendipity, reincarnation, and more! Bullets Vibes--A Woman's Intuition Vampire Diaries Best Hugger Gold Medal Maya Angelou Was I Running Away? What The Therapist Said Engaged? Fake Julie--Hurtful Words Netflix And Chillin' Thanks for listening. Julie's God winks interview link here. Julie's Once-Upon-A-Time story past episodes and blog links: Episode 8: Out, Damned Spot! Episode 9: Too Soon? Julie's Blog Because you shouldn't have to journey alone, join me in the My Spouse Died Too community email list for members-only benefits: Behind-the-scenes commentary gives you deeper insight--helps you heal. Episode alerts so you'll know when a new episode is ready. Updates on past podcast guests because their journeys continue too. Plus more thoughts, resources, and random widowed journey stuff I discover. And it's the best way to contact me. Because you shouldn't have to journey alone. Sign-up now at https://www.myspousediedtoo.com. Hope. Heal. Find love again. ~ Emeric My Spouse Died Too podcast, images, logos, artwork copyright © 2019-2021 by Emeric McCleary. Music and lyrics © 2019-2021 by Emeric McCleary and Elena McCleary

Does widowhood define you? A therapist told me that's not so healthy. But when you first meet someone new, how do you introduce yourself? What are your biggest widow fears? Here's ours. Quirky sleeping habits (when no one else shares your bed). What kind of pity might you have for couples with problems? Especially when they choose not to seek professional help? I reconcile with past issues I didn't resolve with my spouse. Now, because I'm widowed, the best I can do is forgive, release and move on. But my friends still have a chance to fix their marital problems—why won't they? The widow card—have you played it to your advantage? Hope-filled words from Sherri. Your spouse is dead, and sometimes you might feel…liberated because now you do things your way. Feeling guilty? Sherri did. But she tells us how things are today. And there's much more… Bulletz Quirky Bedroom Habits Seven Years In--Daily Routine A Simple Hope-filled Message Life Just Gets Easier--Define Easier Grief In A Jar Glad to Meet You--I'm Widowed! Shared Fear--Not Anymore Fear Of Getting Old Alone Guilty Liberation Playing The Widow Card Thanks for listening. Sherri's past episodes: 1 Just Yank The Weeds 6 Mr. Mom and the Prom Dresses 26 Pain Lessens Over Time (1 of 2) 27 Pain Lessens Over Time (2 of 2) Because you shouldn't have to journey alone, join me in the My Spouse Died Too community email list for members-only benefits: Behind-the-scenes commentary gives you deeper insight--helps you heal. Episode alerts so you'll know when a new episode is ready. Updates on past podcast guests because their journeys continue too. Plus more thoughts, resources, and random widowed journey stuff I discover. And it's the best way to contact me. Because you shouldn't have to journey alone. Sign-up now at https://www.myspousediedtoo.com. Hope. Heal. Find love again. ~ Emeric My Spouse Died Too podcast, images, logos, artwork copyright © 2019-2021 by Emeric McCleary. Music and lyrics © 2019-2021 by Emeric McCleary and Elena McCleary

Seven years ago, while on a phone call with his boss, Sherri's husband Greg suddenly died. Sherri wants to call the boss and ask about that call. Can I convince Sherri to call Greg's boss while we record? Sherri reveals why you won't find a framed picture of her boyfriend in her new house. Facebook problems for the widowed—heed this warning before your pic is plastered or tagged on Facebook. Does Sherri have spies surveilling her boyfriend? Angry make-up sex. Have you ever had any? Definition and example. Is there a way out of love where both people are okay with it? And more… Bulletos No Boyfriend Pictures In My House Facebook--Tag, You're It! Sherri's Spies--The Grapevine My Parents Love My Boyfriend--What They Don't Know Angry Make-Up Sex Does Uncertainty Make Us Settle for a Mediocre Mate? Our Last Bear Hug Before He Died Do You Have The Courage To Reach Out? Telling Your Kids About Dates Is There An Easy Way Out Of Love For Both? How Do You Treat Dishonesty? He Ordered Me Another Glass Of Wine  Thanks for listening. Join us for the final part 3.   Sherri's past episodes: 1 Just Yank The Weeds 6 Mr. Mom and the Prom Dresses 26 Pain Lessens Over Time (1 of 2) 27 Pain Lessens Over Time (2 of 2) Jill Johnson-Young's Book The Rebellious Widow. Because you shouldn't have to journey alone, join me in the My Spouse Died Too community email list for members-only benefits: Behind-the-scenes commentary gives you deeper insight--helps you heal. Episode alerts so you'll know when a new episode is ready. Updates on past podcast guests because their journeys continue too. Plus more thoughts, resources, and random widowed journey stuff I discover. And it's the best way to contact me. Because you shouldn't have to journey alone. Sign-up now at https://www.myspousediedtoo.com. Hope. Heal. Find love again. ~ Emeric My Spouse Died Too podcast, images, logos, artwork copyright © 2019-2021 by Emeric McCleary. Music and lyrics © 2019-2021 by Emeric McCleary and Elena McCleary

Seven years ago Sherri's husband Greg suddenly died. Today, Sherri lives alone. Can you be single, widowed, and happy? Consequences if you remarry before age 60 (if you are eligible for American social security retirement benefits). Is Sherri's current relationship like high school—on-again-off-again-on-again-off-again? We unravel some complexities of Sherri's current romantic life. Can you enjoy the moment, or do you dwell on the future? How do you measure love? Setting boundaries so no one gets pissy—at least not too pissy. And a whole lot more. Bulletsssss 3-2-1 Margarita Widowed, Single, and Happy? If You Re-Marry Before Sixty (U. S. Social Security Reality) Dating Like a High Schooler--On Again, Off Again. Enjoy The Moment. Can You? How Do You Measure His Love? Boyfriend Boundaries With Daughters When You Shouldn't Sit On His Lap Sexy Cat Costume--Choker Included Thanks for listening. Join us for part 2.   Sherri's past episodes: 1 Just Yank The Weeds 6 Mr. Mom and the Prom Dresses 26 Pain Lessens Over Time (1 of 2) 27 Pain Lessens Over Time (2 of 2) Jill Johnson-Young's Book The Rebellious Widow. Because you shouldn't have to journey alone, join me in the My Spouse Died Too community email list for members-only benefits: Behind-the-scenes commentary gives you deeper insight--helps you heal. Episode alerts so you'll know when a new episode is ready. Updates on past podcast guests because their journeys continue too. Plus more thoughts, resources, and random widowed journey stuff I discover. And it's the best way to contact me. Because you shouldn't have to journey alone. Sign-up now at https://www.myspousediedtoo.com. Hope. Heal. Find love again. ~ Emeric My Spouse Died Too podcast, images, logos, artwork copyright © 2019-2021 by Emeric McCleary. Music and lyrics © 2019-2021 by Emeric McCleary and Elena McCleary

Barry bares his heart and shares his biggest fear. Might this be your fear too? How Barry thinks he comes across on first dates. In other words—why Barry really thinks his first dates don't usually lead to second dates. The sting of rejection. This has nothing to do with transplants. But finding love again requires taking risks—and that means facing uncertainty—the fear of rejection. We talk about this in terms of unhappy vs. uncertain. Because according to my unreferenced research, most people choose unhappiness versus uncertainty. Do you choose certain muted contentment and suffering versus uncertain potential joy and beauty? Knowing what you have might seem manageable—even if you're miserable vs. the unknown—you know the unknown is risky and scary, but that's where you have the hope and chance to discover the beauty, meaning, and love. Barry Reads two poems. I'll attach those in the members-only email. Sign-up at https://www.myspousediedtoo.com The deep memory power of scent—the smell of your spouse's shampoo, cologne, and my Mexican Mom's flour tortillas. And so much more. Bulletos Barry's Biggest Fear Coming Across Desperate 12 Rules of Life--Jordan B. Peterson Finding the Beauty in Life Test vs. Failure--Do Semantics Ease Pain? Poem Reading: Strawberries More Rejection Soon Unhappy vs. Uncertain Perfect Moments Poem Reading: Daydreamin' (Warm Red Wine) You're Worthy Because You're Alive Organ Donor Card Wisdom From Thailand Thanks for listening.  Links for Part 1 and Part 2 of this series.  Barry's past episodes with his Once-Upon-A-Time story: The Phoenix is a Poet - Parts 1,2, and 3. https://myspousediedtoo.libsyn.com/episode-35-the-phoenix-is-a-poet https://myspousediedtoo.libsyn.com/episode-36-the-phoenix-is-a-poet-2-of-3 https://myspousediedtoo.libsyn.com/episode-37-the-phoenix-is-a-poet-3-of-3 Episode 7, Scent of a Woman: https://myspousediedtoo.libsyn.com/episode-7-scent-of-a-woman Listen to the first 90 seconds. Ted Talk: What a sex worker can teach us about human connection--Nicole Emma.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r7xLfeTytns Jordan B. Peterson book 12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos  Because you shouldn't have to journey alone, join me in the My Spouse Died Too community email list for members-only benefits: Behind-the-scenes commentary gives you deeper insight--helps you heal. Episode alerts so you'll know when a new episode is ready. Updates on past podcast guests because their journeys continue too. Plus more thoughts, resources, and random widowed journey stuff I discover. And it's the best way to contact me. Because you shouldn't have to journey alone. Sign-up now at https://www.myspousediedtoo.com. Hope. Heal. Find love again. ~ Emeric My Spouse Died Too podcast, images, logos, artwork copyright © 2019-2021 by Emeric McCleary. Music and lyrics © 2019-2021 by Emeric McCleary and Elena McCleary

Barry's face glows with promise and hope when he explains what one thing he's working on—building the rest of his life around—where he finds meaning and beauty. You'll also hear about Barry's ninety-day date-cycle. How Barry landed on the roof of a barn. The frustration of six first dates (and no 2nd dates), and what Barry thinks it reveals. How much should you share on a first date—like a liver transplant? Dark humor for coping. When to go dutch--this might surprise you. How Barry manages deep dark depression with this life or death trade-off. And plenty more. Bulletasos How Much Do I Share? Six First Dates The Biggest Nut Got Nothing In Common? I Landed On The Roof Of A Barn! The "Still" Word--Why I Don't Like It Celibate By Choice Dark Humor Helps Again Who Pays? Liver And Onions You're Alive Again A F&%$ing Ray Of Sunshine What I'm Building My Life Around Absence Of Love--What I Feel Hope--There's Love Out There Again Missing Emotional Intimacy   Barry's past episodes with his Once-Upon-A-Time story: The Phoenix is a Poet - Parts 1,2, and 3. https://myspousediedtoo.libsyn.com/episode-35-the-phoenix-is-a-poet https://myspousediedtoo.libsyn.com/episode-36-the-phoenix-is-a-poet-2-of-3 https://myspousediedtoo.libsyn.com/episode-37-the-phoenix-is-a-poet-3-of-3 Listen to the first 90 seconds. Ted Talk: What a sex worker can teach us about human connection--Nicole Emma.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r7xLfeTytns Because you shouldn't have to journey alone, join me in the My Spouse Died Too community email list for members-only benefits: Behind-the-scenes commentary gives you deeper insight--helps you heal. Episode alerts so you'll know when a new episode is ready. Updates on past podcast guests because their journeys continue too. Plus more thoughts, resources, and random widowed journey stuff I discover. And it's the best way to contact me. Because you shouldn't have to journey alone. Sign-up now at https://www.myspousediedtoo.com. Hope. Heal. Find love again. ~ Emeric My Spouse Died Too podcast, images, logos, artwork copyright © 2019-2021 by Emeric McCleary. Music and lyrics © 2019-2021 by Emeric McCleary and Elena McCleary

Widower poet Barry Johnson returns! I first met Barry when we recorded about a year ago. Just four months before we recorded, Barry was almost dead. Three months before that recording, Barry's life was saved by a liver transplant. In this episode, Barry makes a confession—I urge you to listen with compassion and empathy. Barry bares his heart about his depression-where it comes from-rough stuff. Is Barry still pissed at God? How work helps Barry cope. Barry reads his poem. And Barry's personal demon: being unworthy of love. And lots more. Bullets Feeling Good, Finally New Pony Tail Still Pissed at God? Don't Waste This Gift Depression Strikes Back Confession The Thai Judgment-Free Chat Room Quarantined: I Hated Being Alone Sex Worker Ted Talk  How Work Helps Poem Reading: Grief Never Changes Thanks for listening. Links: Barry's past episodes with his Once-Upon-A-Time story: The Phoenix is a Poet - Parts 1,2, and 3. https://myspousediedtoo.libsyn.com/episode-35-the-phoenix-is-a-poet https://myspousediedtoo.libsyn.com/episode-36-the-phoenix-is-a-poet-2-of-3 https://myspousediedtoo.libsyn.com/episode-37-the-phoenix-is-a-poet-3-of-3 Ted Talk: What a sex worker can teach us about human connection--Nicole Emma.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r7xLfeTytns Because you shouldn't have to journey alone, join me in the My Spouse Died Too community email list for members-only benefits: Behind-the-scenes commentary gives you deeper insight--helps you heal. Episode alerts so you'll know when a new episode is ready. Updates on past podcast guests because their journeys continue too. Plus more thoughts, resources, and random widowed journey stuff I discover. And it's the best way to contact me. Because you shouldn't have to journey alone. Sign-up now at https://www.myspousediedtoo.com. Hope. Heal. Find love again. ~ Emeric My Spouse Died Too podcast, images, logos, artwork copyright © 2019-2021 by Emeric McCleary. Music and lyrics © 2019-2021 by Emeric McCleary and Elena McCleary

What I've learned by doing more than fifty My Spouse Died Too podcast episodes. Not all-inclusive, just a taste of what I've discovered by talking for hours and hours with courageous widowed guest co-hosts. You'll hear my self-accusations, personality quirks, views on life and death. How I make deeper connections with just about anybody. How to find gold in a conversation. How to listen better. And I'll suggest a resource, if you take simple action, quickly changes your life in a profound way.  And more. Bulletos What I Learned My Spouse's Death Seems So Long Ago People Die Everyday (Neville Longbottom) How To Create Deeper Connections Sometimes I'm Wrong How I Get Value From Every Guest Judgmental-Me-Yikes! How To Listen Better Learn To Uncover The Unknown How To Liberate Yourself Thanks for listening. Links to mentioned episodes and resources are below. Book: Never Split The Difference--Chris Voss Sister Vickey Episode 11 "Three Weddings" Barb Flynn Episode 13 "I Love You Too, Babe" Emeric Solo Episode 39 "Macho Man Truth About Crying" Autumn Toelle-Jackson Episode 43 "Boldly Into The Darkness" Jill Johnson-Young Episode 51 "The Rebellious Widow" Tawny Platis Episode 54 "Comedian Widow: How Dark Humor Eases The Pain" Because you shouldn't have to journey alone, join me in the My Spouse Died Too community email list for members-only benefits: Behind-the-scenes commentary gives you deeper insight--helps you heal. Episode alerts so you'll know when a new episode is ready. Updates on past podcast guests because their journeys continue too. Plus more thoughts, resources, and random widowed journey stuff I discover. And it's the best way to contact me. Because you shouldn't have to journey alone. Sign-up now at https://www.myspousediedtoo.com. Hope. Heal. Find love again. ~ Emeric My Spouse Died Too podcast, images, logos, artwork copyright © 2019-2021 by Emeric McCleary. Music and lyrics © 2019-2021 by Emeric McCleary and Elena McCleary

Widowed at twenty-eight, Tawny Platis is the queen of dead husband jokes. Tawny is a comedian, voice actor, and host of the podcast Death Is Hilarious. Tawny’s podcast explores how comedians and creatives use comedy and dark humor to cope with grief and trauma through storytelling and jokes. In this episode, Tawny discusses her botched suicide plan.  Why laughter is like her heroin. PSDD--Post Spousal Death Disorder. Pennsylvania Serah (she’s a lifesaver). Covid isolation perils. Bumble and honest dating profile advice. Tawny thinks something is wrong with her because the same evening her husband George died, Tawny was—horny. You’ll hear what each therapist said when Tawny asked “what’s wrong with me?” And so much more in Tawny's hope and laughter-filled journey. Here are the Bullets! Once-Upon-A-Time Heart Palpitations Death Is Hilarious Sleeping With The Hottest Guy Twenty-Eight And Widowed Why The EMTs Laughed Laughter Is Heroin To Me Why I Need to Make People Laugh I Planned My Suicide Is Babs (our dog) Going to Die Too? Pennslyvania Serah My Husband Just Died. Why Am I So Horny? Dick-Dash and the Revolving Doors Tawny's Dating Profile Advice Nothing Replaces Physical Touch Hope-Filled Tawny Sticking Around to See How The Movie Ends Thanks for listening. Tawny's links are all below. Death Is Hilarious Podcast TikTok  Instagram Twitter https://www.tawnyvoice.com Facebook YouTube Because you shouldn't have to journey alone, join me in the My Spouse Died Too community email list for members-only benefits: Behind-the-scenes commentary gives you deeper insight--helps you heal. Episode alerts so you'll know when a new episode is ready. Updates on past podcast guests because their journeys continue too. Plus more thoughts, resources, and random widowed journey stuff I discover. And it's the best way to contact me. Because you shouldn't have to journey alone. Sign-up now at https://www.myspousediedtoo.com. Hope. Heal. Find love again. ~ Emeric My Spouse Died Too podcast, images, logos, artwork copyright © 2019-2021 by Emeric McCleary. Music and lyrics © 2019-2021 by Emeric McCleary and Elena McCleary

The Rebellious Widow Jill Johnson-Young packs this final episode with personal experience and generous professional advice. What you’ll discover… Stacie the Mortician—Jill’s new (and current) love connection. The reticent minister who refused to officiate Jill’s next wedding, and the baseless reasons why. Jill has a stroke on tax day—A real one. Will you grieve forever? What I was wrong about (it has to do with grieving forever). How to be like ninety-nine-year-old actress Betty White (she was widowed 40 years ago and hasn’t remarried)—or how to be like Jill with the courage, after being widowed, to marry again and again. Trust your gut—but make sure you have this one thing in place so you don’t ruin your life. Getting naked again—with another person. Jill recommends the book Getting Naked Again by Judith Sills, Ph.D. I ordered the book from Amazon. Link here. How to handle criticism using the Charlie Brown Criticism Defense Tactic. Why you need a good wing person. Is this your chance to recreate yourself? The grief paradigm change. The five tenets of rebellious widowhood. Boundary setting. Use this powerful skill so others don't sabotage you. Feeling more alive when there’s intimacy in your life. I talk about me asking someone out on a date, and how it made me feel just to ask. Why you should avoid a clone of your dead spouse. And so much more. Thanks for listening to the final episode of The Rebellious Widow with Jill Johnson-Young. If you haven't listened to parts 1 and 2, here are the links: Part 1,  Part 2. Buy The Rebellious Widow book almost everywhere you buy books. A great place to start is The Rebellious Widow book website: https://www.therebelliouswidow.com Links are below to Jill’s websites and social media accounts. https://www.jilljohnsonyoung.com https://www.centralcounselingservices.com Twitter @grieftalker Facebook https://www.facebook.com/grieftalker LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/jilljohnsonyoung Instagram https://www.instagram.com/therebelliouswidow Because you shouldn't have to journey alone, join me in the My Spouse Died Too community email list for members-only benefits: Behind-the-scenes commentary gives you deeper insight--helps you heal. Episode alerts so you'll know when a new episode is ready. Updates on past podcast guests because their journeys continue too. Plus more thoughts, resources, and random widowed journey stuff I discover. And it's the best way to contact me. Because you shouldn't have to journey alone. Sign-up now at https://www.myspousediedtoo.com. Hope. Heal. Find love again. ~ Emeric My Spouse Died Too podcast, images, logos, artwork copyright © 2019-2021 by Emeric McCleary. Music and lyrics © 2019-2021 by Emeric McCleary and Elena McCleary

Part 2 of The Rebellious Widow with guest co-host, twice-widowed author, therapist, Mom, and entrepreneur Jill Johnson-Young, LCSW. Taste Part 2: How Casper comes back into the scene and what she asked Jill's Mom. How to break the widow rules so you can live life on your terms without guilt and shame. The three-page bucket List. Introducing your dead spouse. Finishing relationships—how a therapist helps you. People uncomfortable with death: which friends or family suddenly disappeared? The Snow Goose Dress—the things you’ll wear for a dying loved one. Anticipatory Grief—when your grief starts before death. Why Jill Avoids the Frozen Pea Aisle. The awesome rebirth Jill never imagined. To avoid unnecessary cruelty: use a Fiblet. What's a fiblet? The secret romance alias: changing names to protect the innocent. The real reason Robin Williams took his own life. How to get 300 gay men to sing Happy Birthday To You, and so much more. Lots 'O Bullets The Widow Rules--How to Break Them She Left Me a Three Page Bucket List She Died a Good Death After The Funeral Everyone's Gone Introducing Your Dead Spouse Finishing Relationships--Therapy Challenge Discomfort With Death? Who Suddenly Disappeared? Secret Romance Alias To Protect The Innocent I'm Smiling Again--It's What Momma Wanted JillandLinda (not a typo) What's a Fiblet? Casper Asked My Mom for This Lewy Body Dementia--Holy Shyt! Robin Williams R.I.P. Like Sandra Day O'Connor The Starbucks Kiss Two Before Fifty (Dead Wives) Why Jill Avoids The Frozen Pea Aisle The Snow Goose Dress 300 Gay Men Sing Happy Birthday Thanks for listening to part 2 of The Rebellious Widow with Jill Johnson-Young. If you haven't listened to part 1, here's the link.  Part 1 The Rebellious Widow (1 of 3) Buy The Rebellious Widow book almost everywhere you buy books. A great place to start is The Rebellious Widow book website: https://www.therebelliouswidow.com Links are below to Jill’s websites and social media accounts. https://www.jilljohnsonyoung.com https://www.centralcounselingservices.com Twitter @grieftalker Facebook https://www.facebook.com/grieftalker LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/jilljohnsonyoung Instagram https://www.instagram.com/therebelliouswidow Because you shouldn't have to journey alone, join me in the My Spouse Died Too community email list for members-only benefits: Behind-the-scenes commentary gives you deeper insight--helps you heal. Episode alerts so you'll know when a new episode is ready. Updates on past podcast guests because their journeys continue too. Plus more thoughts, resources, and random widowed journey stuff I discover. And it's the best way to contact me. Because you shouldn't have to journey alone. Sign-up now at https://www.myspousediedtoo.com. Hope. Heal. Find love again. ~ Emeric My Spouse Died Too podcast, images, logos, artwork copyright © 2019-2021 by Emeric McCleary. Music and lyrics © 2019-2021 by Emeric McCleary and Elena McCleary

Jill Johnson-Young guest co-hosts. Jill is an internationally known grief therapist, Mom, author, entrepreneur, and LCSW (Licensed Clinical Social Worker). While in her 40’s, Jill lost her first wife Linda. Then, Jill lost her second wife Casper. Casper was first wife Linda’s hospice nurse. And now, Jill is married to her third wife Stacie. Stacie is the mortician who cared for both Linda and Casper. Reread and wrap your mind around that! But that’s not all… Jill is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker. In her own trial by fire, what surprised Jill is how popular conventional grief therapy training didn’t fit her own experience! What was offered as the “right way” to do grief left Jill feeling ashamed and a failure at grief. How do you fail at grief? And that’s why in her book, The Rebellious Widow, Jill rewrites the expectations of dying, death, and grief.  And like a boss, Jill takes the unwritten shame-filled rules of widowhood—and shreds them. If you’re a male, don’t let the title fool you. I read Jill’s book twice. I finally found answers to my own questions along with a practical way to forge a fulfilled future.  Jill, The Rebellious Widow, gives you strategy, tools, and actionable tactics so you can face death, grief, and if you choose, recreate a beautiful life. The Bullets Once Upon a Time Not Just for Widows! Let Yourself Grow from the Grief Permission to Do It Your Way JillandLinda--NOT a Typo Same-Sex Challenge Our Kids How 55 MPH Triggers Death Disturbed Sense of Humor Pushing Up Daisies Soon Momma's Gonna Die The Mission Inn Riverside, California She Wanted to Die Her Way Casper the Friendly Ghost She Was So Butch In-N-Out Burger I Turned Her Oxygen Off Unforgettable Silence I Hope You Dance - Lee Ann Womack The "Arranged" Marriage Stacie the Mortician Thanks for listening to part 1 of The Rebellious Widow with Jill Johnson-Young. Buy The Rebellious Widow book almost everywhere you buy books. A great place to start is The Rebellious Widow book website: https://www.therebelliouswidow.com Links are below to Jill’s websites and social media accounts. https://www.jilljohnsonyoung.com https://www.centralcounselingservices.com Twitter @grieftalker Facebook https://www.facebook.com/grieftalker LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/jilljohnsonyoung Instagram https://www.instagram.com/therebelliouswidow Because you shouldn't have to journey alone, join me in the My Spouse Died Too community email list for members-only benefits: Behind-the-scenes commentary gives you deeper insight--helps you heal. Episode alerts so you'll know when a new episode is ready. Updates on past podcast guests because their journeys continue too. Plus more thoughts, resources, and random widowed journey stuff I discover. And it's the best way to contact me. Because you shouldn't have to journey alone. Sign-up now at https://www.myspousediedtoo.com. Hope. Heal. Find love again. ~ Emeric My Spouse Died Too podcast, images, logos, artwork copyright © 2019-2021 by Emeric McCleary. Music and lyrics © 2019-2021 by Emeric McCleary and Elena McCleary

Got psychotherapy? Freud’s field day on the couch. Tim revisits a childhood memory. Over and over and over. The last time we made love. Tim recollects. Covid loneliness. Emeric struggles. The first thing you should do each morning, no matter what. Prescribed by a world-renowned clinical psychologist and a Navy Seal. Let’s talk codependence. Cooking for One, Eating for Two. Emeric lives alone now, and it's not so easy, yet. Tim's late spouse Donna's last written word, and more. If you haven’t listened to parts 1, 2, and 3, listen to those first. Links: Part 1 Three and a Half Years Since Part 2 Three and a Half Years Since Part 3 Three and a Half Years Since Tim's prior guest host episode links. Click highlighted text: Episode 3 Two Widowers Talk (1 of 3) Episode 4 Two Widowers Talk (2 of 3) Episode 5 Two Widowers Talk (3 of 3) Episode 25 Want to Feel Normal? Bullets Freud's Field Day on the Couch The Last Time We Made Love Let's Talk Codependence Cooking for One, Eating for Two Her Last Written Word Covid Loneliness Top Down-Bottom Up  Bathroom Window Blinds--Just In Case Here Kitty Kitty Thanks for listening.  Because you shouldn't have to journey alone, join me in the My Spouse Died Too community email list for members-only benefits: Behind-the-scenes commentary gives you deeper insight--helps you heal. Episode alerts so you'll know when a new episode is ready. Updates on past podcast guests because their journeys continue too. Plus more thoughts, resources, and random widowed journey stuff I discover. And it's the best way to contact me.   Because you shouldn't have to journey alone. Sign-up now at https://www.myspousediedtoo.com. Hope. Heal. Find love again. ~ Emeric My Spouse Died Too podcast, images, logos, artwork copyright © 2019-2021 by Emeric McCleary. Music and lyrics © 2019-2021 by Emeric McCleary and Elena McCleary

Three and a Half Years Since (3 of 4). The marriage question—are you all in? I wonder why my widowed friends say they’ll never marry again. And does that mean they’ll never be 100% “all-in” on any relationship? Who was sleeping with the librarian? Three and a half years since Donna died, what’s Tim’s identity now? After your spouse died you’re invited to a wedding. But now the invitation says You and guest. Gut punch? Is Tim still pissed at God? Woo Woo? Tim explains how he senses his late spouse Donna’s presence. Tim examines why it makes more sense—he should have died instead. Plus more. If you haven’t listened to parts 1 and 2 listen to those first. Links: Part 1 Three and a Half Years Since Part 2 Three and a Half Years Since Tim's prior guest host episode links. Click highlighted text: Episode 3 Two Widowers Talk (1 of 3) Episode 4 Two Widowers Talk (2 of 3) Episode 5 Two Widowers Talk (3 of 3) Episode 25 Want to Feel Normal? Bull Ettes The Marriage Question Are You All In? Sleeping with the Librarian What's Your Identity Now? You and Guest--Wedding Invite What's a Paw Paw? Still Pissed at God? Feeling Her Presence Why I Should Have Died Instead Thanks for listening. Join us for part 4 of Three and a Half Years Since. Because you shouldn't have to journey alone, join me in the My Spouse Died Too community email list for members-only benefits: Behind-the-scenes commentary gives you deeper insight--helps you heal. Episode alerts so you'll know when a new episode is ready. Updates on past podcast guests because their journeys continue too. Plus more thoughts, resources, and random widowed journey stuff I discover. And it's the best way to contact me. Because you shouldn't have to journey alone. Sign-up now at https://www.myspousediedtoo.com. Hope. Heal. Find love again. ~ Emeric My Spouse Died Too podcast, images, logos, artwork copyright © 2019-2021 by Emeric McCleary. Music and lyrics © 2019-2021 by Emeric McCleary and Elena McCleary

Three and a Half Years Since (2 of 4). How not to end a relationship—Never do this chicken shyt thing. Was I right to be judgy? Why Tim mourned after his very first date. SCIENCE! The science of dating: Got chemistry? When will your family be ready to see you with another woman or man? Tim’s 30-year-old adult kid says she’s not ready. Hear what Tim says about this. Are you afraid to die? Not enough words from my Indian tribe—am I talking on borrowed time? Why are you here? (on Earth) Plus more. If you haven’t listened to part 1, listen to that first. Here’s the link: Part 1 Three and a Half Years Since Tim's prior guest host episode links. Click on highlighted text: Episode 3 Two Widowers Talk (1 of 3) Episode 4 Two Widowers Talk (2 of 3) Episode 5 Two Widowers Talk (3 of 3) Episode 25 Want to Feel Normal? Belluts Never Do This Chicken Shyt Thing I'm Judgy--Because I'm Right? How Not to End a Relationship E.S.A.D. a Slow Death Mourning After My First Date SCIENCE! of Dating: Got Chemistry? Dad, I'm Not Ready Yet (to See You with Another) Why Are You Here? (on Earth) How Bolus Almost Killed Me Are You Afraid to Die? My Indian Tribe Familiarity Breeds Contempt Thanks for listening. Join us for part 3 of Three and a Half Years Since. Because you shouldn't have to journey alone, join me in the My Spouse Died Too community email list for members-only benefits: Behind-the-scenes commentary gives you deeper insight--helps you heal. Episode alerts so you'll know when a new episode is ready. Updates on past podcast guests because their journeys continue too. Plus more thoughts, resources, and random widowed journey stuff I discover. And it's the best way to contact me. Because you shouldn't have to journey alone. Sign-up now at https://www.myspousediedtoo.com. Hope. Heal. Find love again. ~ Emeric My Spouse Died Too podcast, images, logos, artwork copyright © 2019-2021 by Emeric McCleary. Music and lyrics © 2019-2021 by Emeric McCleary and Elena McCleary

Previous widowed-guest co-host Tim Schneider returns and updates us. What life is like now—three and a half years since his spouse Donna died. How Covid-19 relieved Tim.  Introducing Ziggy and Georgia, the two naked ladies in the basement.  Tim gets set up on a blind date by an obvious Yenta—Tim's first date since Donna died. Listen to this head trash avalanche. Facebook stalker. Might you be one too? Hear the evidence. What to do when dating feels like work. What's in your eulogy?  And a whole lot more. Tim's prior guest host episode links. Click on highlighted text: Episode 3 Two Widowers Talk (1 of 3) Episode 4 Two Widowers Talk (2 of 3) Episode 5 Two Widowers Talk (3 of 3) Episode 25 Want to Feel Normal?  Bullets Three and a Half Years Since Two Naked Ladies in The Basement Covid Brings Relief First Date is Blind Head Trash Avalanche She Was Just Seventeen Four Kids before Thirty Facebook Stalker The Yenta Thanks for listening. Join us for part 2 of Three and a Half Years Since. Because you shouldn't have to journey alone, join me in the My Spouse Died Too community email list for members-only benefits: Behind-the-scenes commentary gives you deeper insight--helps you heal. Episode alerts so you'll know when a new episode is ready. Updates on past podcast guests because their journeys continue too. Plus more thoughts, resources, and random widowed journey stuff I discover. And it's the best way to contact me. Because you shouldn't have to journey alone. Sign-up now at https://www.myspousediedtoo.com. Hope. Heal. Find love again. ~ Emeric My Spouse Died Too podcast, images, logos, artwork copyright © 2019-2021 by Emeric McCleary. Music and lyrics © 2019-2021 by Emeric McCleary and Elena McCleary

Welcome to final part 4 of 4, Boldly Into the Darkness, with the widowed author of Boldly Into the Darkness Autumn Toelle-Jackson. Final episode appetizers... Might judgy people rule your decisions? Why one love doesn’t and can’t replace another. Autumn’s transformative coach. Finding the right therapist. What the coach says about Autumn’s fear of forgetting her late spouse.  How to accept grief and not be ashamed. The puzzling marriage proposal (sentence contains clue). Should we have a kid? Autumn and Kyle decide. Courageous Miracle. The walk of honor (have Kleenex ready). Thirty-six hours to save three lives. You'll learn why the clock ticks. Autumn reveals her cathartic tattoos and plenty more. Bulletasos Judgment Reflects on The Judge The Transformative Coach Fear of Forgetting My Late Spouse Memories Get Blurry How Does That Make You Feel?--Barf Now The Widow's Ring One Love Doesn't and Can't Replace Another The Puzzling Marriage Proposal Should We Have a Baby? Courageous Miracle Code Blue The Walk of Honor 36 Hours to Save Three Lives She Liked Butterflies Cathartic Tattoos Thanks for listening. Autumn's book is the Winner of the Illumination Book Awards' 2021 Silver Medal. Autumn's memoir Boldly Into The Darkness: Living with Loss, Growing with Grief & Holding onto Happiness can be purchased at her website https://www.GrowingwithGrief.com (Includes grief resources as well as merchandise and the book. Ebook: https://books2read.com/BoldlyintotheDarkness  Paperback: Available at your local independent bookstore. Also available through Amazon. https://www.amazon.com/Boldly-into-Darkness-Growing-Happiness/dp/1634893573/   Because you shouldn't have to journey alone, join me in the My Spouse Died Too community email list for members-only benefits: Behind-the-scenes commentary gives you deeper insight--helps you heal. Episode alerts so you'll know when a new episode is ready. Updates on past podcast guests because their journeys continue too. Plus more thoughts, resources, and random widowed journey stuff I discover. And it's the best way to contact me. Because you shouldn't have to journey alone. Sign-up now at https://www.myspousediedtoo.com. Hope. Heal. Find love again. ~ Emeric My Spouse Died Too podcast, images, logos, artwork copyright © 2019-2021 by Emeric McCleary. Music and lyrics © 2019-2021 by Emeric McCleary and Elena McCleary