The Family Express

Welcome back for the next journey of The Family Express Podcast with Kathryn de Bruin, LMFT and Ronda Evans, LMFT where our destination is resilient and connected families. Our guest speaker is Joey Tapia PhD, CRC, LPC-S, RPT, NCC. Joey specializes in therapy for individuals, couples and families where at at least one person has a disability. Kathryn de Bruin is an ICEEFT Certified EFT Trainer. Kathryn and Ronda are both licensed marriage and family therapists, EFT supervisors and therapists, and AAMFT Approved Supervisors.You can follow Kathryn de Bruin, LMFTFacebook  YouTube  IG  Yelp  Google +  Twitter  WebsiteYou can follow Ronda Evans, LMFT Facebook   Facebook   IG  LinkedIn   WebsiteYou can follow Joey Tapia at

Welcome back for the next journey of The Family Express Podcast with Kathryn de Bruin, LMFT and Ronda Evans, LMFT where our destination is resilient and connected families. Our guest speaker is Dennis Eames, LMFT, Certified EFT Supervisor and Therapist located in Washington State. Today our conversation centers around the use of expressive arts in the EFT Tango with kids and teens.Kathryn de Bruin is an ICEEFT Certified EFT Trainer. Kathryn and Ronda are both licensed marriage and family therapists, EFT supervisors and therapists, and AAMFT Approved Supervisors.You can follow Kathryn de Bruin, LMFTFacebook  YouTube  IG  Yelp  Google +  Twitter  WebsiteYou can follow Ronda Evans, LMFT Facebook   Facebook   IG  LinkedIn   Website

Welcome back for the next journey of The Family Express Podcast with Kathryn de Bruin, LMFT and Ronda Evans, LMFT where our destination is resilient and connected families.In this episode, Kathryn and Ronda talk about making the shift conceptually, and in practice, from a diagnostic frame to a family systems frame.

Welcome back for the next journey of The Family Express Podcast with Kathryn de Bruin, LMFT and Ronda Evans, LMFT. Today Kathryn and Ronda speak about their book, co-authored with Katie Stefano, "A Jumble of Thoughts and a Tangle of Feelings".Kathryn de Bruin is an ICEEFT Certified EFT Trainer. Kathryn and Ronda are both licensed marriage and family therapists, EFT supervisors and therapists, and AAMFT Approved Supervisors.You can follow Kathryn de Bruin, LMFTFacebook  YouTube  IG  Yelp  Google +  Twitter  WebsiteYou can follow Ronda Evans, LMFT Facebook   Facebook   IG  LinkedIn   Website

Welcome back for the next journey of The Family Express Podcast with Kathryn de Bruin, LMFT and Ronda Evans, LMFT where our destination is resilient and connected families. Our guest speaker is Rikki Kumar, MA, RP, RCC, CCC whose life traverses India and Vancouver. He is a certified EFIT, EFCT and EFFT Therapist. He works at the Vancouver EFT Centre.Kathryn de Bruin is an ICEEFT Certified EFT Trainer. Kathryn and Ronda are both licensed marriage and family therapists, EFT supervisors and therapists, and AAMFT Approved Supervisors.You can follow Kathryn de Bruin, LMFTFacebook  YouTube  IG  Yelp  Google +  Twitter  WebsiteYou can follow Ronda Evans, LMFT Facebook   Facebook   IG  LinkedIn   WebsiteYou can follow Rikki Kumarhttps://vcfi.ca/about-us/#rikkiwww.vceft.ca

Welcome back for the next journey of The Family Express Podcast with Kathryn de Bruin, LMFT and Ronda Evans, LMFT where our destination is resilient and connected families. Our guest speaker is Arthur Mensah, MA, an African therapist in Southern California by way of New York who shares his personal philosophy and passion for the field with us today. Thank you for listening! Kathryn de Bruin is an ICEEFT Certified EFT Trainer. Kathryn and Ronda are both licensed marriage and family therapists, EFT supervisors and therapists, and AAMFT Approved Supervisors.You can follow Kathryn de Bruin, LMFTFacebook  YouTube  IG  Yelp  Google +  Twitter  WebsiteYou can follow Ronda Evans, LMFT Facebook   Facebook   IG  LinkedIn   WebsiteYou can follow Arthur Mensahamensah@halcyonfh.comInstagram: @arthurm3nsahhalcyonfh.com

Welcome back for the next journey of The Family Express Podcast with Kathryn de Bruin, LMFT and Ronda Evans, LMFT where our destination is resilient and connected families. Our guest speaker is Clair Mellenthin, a licensed clinical social worker and registered play therapist supervisor in Utah. Today we are talking with Clair about play as an attachment need and attachment based play therapy integrated with EFFT. Thank you for listening! Kathryn de Bruin is an ICEEFT Certified EFT Trainer. Kathryn and Ronda are both licensed marriage and family therapists, EFT supervisors and therapists, and AAMFT Approved Supervisors.You can follow Kathryn de Bruin, LMFTFacebook  YouTube  IG  Yelp  Google +  Twitter  WebsiteYou can follow Ronda Evans, LMFT Facebook   Facebook   IG  LinkedIn   WebsiteYou can follow Clair Mellenthin, LCSW, RPT-SIG - @clairmellenthinplaytherapyLinkedin- Clair Mellenthin https://www.linkedin.com/in/clair-mellenthin-2b97a417/FB - Clair Mellenthin LCSW

Welcome back for the next journey of The Family Express Podcast with Kathryn de Bruin, LMFT and Ronda Evans, LMFT where our destination is resilient and connected families. Our guest speaker is Shenny Karmali, MSW, RSW who is sought out for her work with parents and their adult children, and even grandparents.Thank you for listening! Kathryn de Bruin is an ICEEFT Certified EFT Trainer. Kathryn and Ronda are both licensed marriage and family therapists, EFT supervisors and therapists, and AAMFT Approved Supervisors.You can follow Kathryn de Bruin, LMFTFacebook  YouTube  IG  Yelp  Google +  Twitter  WebsiteYou can follow Ronda Evans, LMFT Facebook   Facebook   IG  LinkedIn   WebsiteYou can follow Shenny Karmalihttps://shennykarmali.com/

Welcome back for the next journey of The Family Express Podcast with Kathryn de Bruin, LMFT and Ronda Evans, LMFT where our destination is resilient and connected families. Our guest speaker is Jussi Light, LMFT who has an abundance of experience in working with families in family therapy using an integrated therapy approach and today our conversation focuses on the use of structure in EFFT.Thank you for listening! Kathryn de Bruin is an ICEEFT Certified EFT Trainer. Kathryn and Ronda are both licensed marriage and family therapists, EFT supervisors and therapists, and AAMFT Approved Supervisors.You can follow Kathryn de Bruin, LMFTFacebook  YouTube  IG  Yelp  Google +  Twitter  WebsiteYou can follow Ronda Evans, LMFT Facebook   Facebook   IG  LinkedIn   WebsiteYou can follow Jussi Light, LMFThttps://www.newgrowthcounseling.com/jussi-light-2/

Welcome back for the next journey of The Family Express Podcast with Kathryn de Bruin, LMFT and Ronda Evans, LMFT where our destination is resilient and connected families. Our guest speaker is Rachel Thomas. All Aboard !Thank you for listening! Kathryn de Bruin is an ICEEFT Certified EFT Trainer. Kathryn and Ronda are both licensed marriage and family therapists, EFT supervisors and therapists, and AAMFT Approved Supervisors.You can follow Kathryn de BruinFacebook  YouTube  IG  Yelp  Google +  Twitter  WebsiteYou can follow Ronda EvansFacebook   Facebook   IG  LinkedIn   Website You can connect with Rachel here:https://therapywithheart.com/

Welcome back for the next journey of The Family Express Podcast with Kathryn de Bruin, LMFT and Ronda Evans, LMFT where our destination is resilient and connected families. Our guest speaker is Laurie Branch.All Aboard !Thank you for listening! Kathryn de Bruin is an ICEEFT Certified EFT Trainer. Kathryn and Ronda are both licensed marriage and family therapists, EFT supervisors and therapists, and AAMFT Approved Supervisors.You can follow Kathryn de BruinFacebook  YouTube  IG  Yelp  Google +  Twitter  WebsiteYou can follow Ronda EvansFacebook   Facebook   IG  LinkedIn   Website 

Welcome back for the next journey of The Family Express Podcast with Kathryn de Bruin, LMFT and Ronda Evans, LMFT where our destination is resilient and connected families. Today we speak with Wendy Gage about her speciality of working with families who have children with disabilities and illnesses. All Aboard !Thank you for listening! Kathryn de Bruin is an ICEEFT Certified EFT Trainer. Kathryn and Ronda are both licensed marriage and family therapists, EFT supervisors and therapists, and AAMFT Approved Supervisors.You can follow Kathryn de BruinFacebook  YouTube  IG  Yelp  Google +  Twitter  WebsiteYou can follow Ronda EvansFacebook   Facebook   IG  LinkedIn   Website 

Welcome back for the next journey of The Family Express Podcast with Kathryn de Bruin, LMFT and Ronda Evans, LMFT where our destination is resilient and connected families. Our guest speaker is Nancy Aikin, LMFT in the Sacramento, CA area. She has specialized in working with families with teens in Hold Me Tight Let Me Go workshops.All Aboard !Thank you for listening! Kathryn de Bruin is an ICEEFT Certified EFT Trainer. Kathryn and Ronda are both licensed marriage and family therapists, EFT supervisors and therapists, and AAMFT Approved Supervisors.You can follow Kathryn de BruinFacebook  YouTube  IG  Yelp  Google +  Twitter  WebsiteYou can follow Ronda EvansFacebook   Facebook   IG  LinkedIn   Website 

Welcome back for the next journey of The Family Express Podcast with Kathryn de Bruin, LMFT and Ronda Evans, LMFT where our destination is resilient and connected families. Our guest speaker is Dr. Tat-Ying, a dual family medical physician and EFFT family therapist located in Toronto, Canada, who specializes in groups.All Aboard !Thank you for listening! Kathryn de Bruin is an ICEEFT Certified EFT Trainer. Kathryn and Ronda are both licensed marriage and family therapists, EFT supervisors and therapists, and AAMFT Approved Supervisors.You can follow Kathryn de BruinFacebook  YouTube  IG  Yelp  Google +  Twitter  WebsiteYou can follow Ronda EvansFacebook   Facebook   IG  LinkedIn   Website You can connect with Dr. Tat-Ting

Welcome back for the next journey of The Family Express Podcast with Kathryn de Bruin, LMFT and Ronda Evans, LMFT where our destination is resilient and connected families. Today is our second installment in the Attachment in Action Series: Pre-School Stage (3-4 years old). All Aboard !1:00. A main developmental aspect of this age/stage is the growing ability of perception and absorbing information into informational processing and emotional processing systems. Their thinking is absolutist (black and white).5:30. Being exposed to differing perspectives represents an opportunity to learn and practice the skill of negotiation in communication/language. This reframes negotiation as a helpful, adaptive skill to learn and practice in the safety of the dyadic interaction.8:00. In negotiation, both kids and caregivers walk away with something, and not only a memory of a power struggle. The benefits of negotiation are: kids learn to consider differing perspectives; kids learn to translate their internal wants, not wants, desires into verbal language that an adult can understand (self expression, and an emotional need of feeling valued); and, the relationship is intact.12:20. We use an example from the book Attachment in Family Therapy to describe the stressor (conflicting needs and priorities between adult and child) and different ways parents can respond in this moment.13:40. Authoritarian parent/caregiver response. The downside of this response is it triggers a power struggle, and the child does not learn differing perspectives and needs of others, and learns to inhibit (not have a voice, inhibit feelings, and feels they don't matter). The pre-school years are a good opportunity to give your child "safe repetitions" (practice).16:30. Permissive parent/caregiver response. The downside of this response is the child learns they are in charge and in control and they feel overlooked, and not secure. Kids are not provided a predictable structure, rules and sense of security. 23:00. Re-capping the parent's response from the example in the book which focuses on helping the kid develop the skill of taking other people's perspectives through this negotiation conversation.26:00. The parent response that values negotiation communication is parenting strategy that keeps the child's developmental stage and needs at the forefront of the dyadic interaction for the benefit of the child.28:30. We must consider the context that families are in -- generational, economic, threats and dangers. Parent responses make sense in the context.Thank you for listening! Kathryn de Bruin is an ICEEFT Certified EFT Trainer. Kathryn and Ronda are both licensed marriage and family therapists, EFT supervisors and therapists, and AAMFT Approved Supervisors.You can follow Kathryn de BruinFacebook  YouTube  IG  Yelp  Google +  Twitter  WebsiteYou can follow Ronda EvansFacebook   Facebook   IG  LinkedIn   Website 

Welcome back for the next journey of The Family Express Podcast with Kathryn de Bruin, LMFT and Ronda Evans, LMFT where our destination is resilient and connected families. Today is our second installment in the Attachment in Action Series: Toddler Stage. All Aboard !3:30. Clear and direct and sequential language because the toddler takes in information and starts to draw conclusions.5:50. Kathryn provides two side by side examples of an interaction between her and her toddler son: one example in which there is a rupture of conflicting needs/desires, and another example in which there is a goal-directed partnership interaction.10:30. Toddlers can learn very early about rupture and repair.11:00. Parents/Caregivers now have two roles of nurturer and protector, and balance the needs of the toddler for exploration with parents need for setting guidelines/rule sets. Parents need to provide/foster a safe enough environment. 13:30. Another conflicting need is when two caregivers disagree on navigating the needs for nurturing exploration and tending to safety.14:00. If the two parents have significant differences in their parenting “style” and their own comfort level of balancing developmental needs of exploration and safety, then we can see distress emerge in individuals or in the family.17:55. When toddlers are under distress, we may see them “adapt” and adopt certain strategies. #1. Toddler Caregiving strategy of parent; perhaps keeping a smile on their face. #2 Toddler Compliant strategy; milder form is Performative strategy; both are about please parent, and fear of punishment, and be good and make parent happy. #3 Toddler Emotional Dysregulation Angry/Helpless; the cue is the parents responsiveness is unclear, inconsistent, ambiguous; so the toddler can't figure out the contingency; motivated to keep parents attention to maintain the attachment; 25:50. Contingencies within a household can be slightly different between parents and the toddler can still figure out the contingency and so the toddler experiences their parent-child contingency as consistent and predictable.27:40. In these strategies the goal of the toddler becomes to keep the parent/attachment person with them, and the toddler lets go of the goal of personal development.28:00. In an ideal world, how we respond to emotion and distress and the dance of dyadic attachment is in the background, and more importance and priority is put on the development of the toddler/child.29:00. Treatment considerations in EFFT: think and assess systemically; how does the child's behavior and affective demonstrations speak to these strategies in dyadic attachment.33:40. Balancing early childhood intervention in the toddler versus systemic, attachment-based framework/lens and treatment considerations.35:00. Metaphor of family therapist being the general practitioner with holistic assessment of the whole system, and then refer to specialist for specific, or individual needs.Thank you for listening! Kathryn de Bruin is an ICEEFT Certified EFT Trainer. Kathryn and Ronda are both licensed marriage and family therapists, EFT supervisors and therapists, and AAMFT Approved Supervisors.You can follow Kathryn de BruinFacebook  YouTube  IG  Yelp  Google +  Twitter  WebsiteYou can follow Ronda EvansFacebook   Facebook   IG  LinkedIn   Website 

Welcome back for the next journey of The Family Express Podcast with Kathryn de Bruin and Ronda Evans where our destination is resilient and connected families. Our guest today is Liliana Baylon, Ph. D. and we discuss integrating play therapy into EFFT when there are families with kids under the age of 12.   All Aboard !1:00. Play is the way that a baby/infant explores and experiences the world around them. Play and fun is a central need for infants/children. Children communicate using their body and then they rely on the adult to organize their experience and body expression using language. 5:00. Their body expression and play communicates something of their experience, and through play we can create an open channel where we can engage with them about their experience and help them.6:30. Play therapy intervention: Create a playful game from using a light switch to help a child express themselves non-verbally.7:30. Hot potato play therapy intervention: whoever catches the hot potato needs to add something to the current topic of conversation.10:30. Bringing playfulness to the conversation helps inoculate the conversation and reduces the emotional intensity.11:30. Play therapy intervention: Using any turn-taking game to take turns sharing something helps to reduce the risk and the emotional intensity. Challenge yourself: how can I use this game in a family session to facilitate family connecting and talking?15:30. Liliana tells a story of how she uses a game called “Sabo” with her own adolescent family relatives to facilitate a conversation about their language, tradition, change and loss in a playful, safe container of the game.18:50. As a family therapist, understand the reason/clinical rationale for why you're incorporating that particular play intervention with a particular family.20:00. Kathryn tells a story of how she challenged herself to use limited play therapy tools and interventions with a family with young children to see how far she could go with conversation only.25:00. Track which topics increase distress/stress/arousal in the session, and does the parent attune to the distress, and how does each parent respond to the distress signal?25:30. Liliana suggests having play dough and scented markers and fidgets available for arousal regulation.26:50. Understand the benefits of play therapy tools such as play dough (tactile) to include this in your session note such as using play dough for co-regulation.Thank you for listening! Kathryn de Bruin is an ICEEFT Certified EFT Trainer. Kathryn and Ronda are both licensed marriage and family therapists, EFT supervisors and therapists, and AAMFT Approved Supervisors.You can follow Kathryn de BruinFacebook  YouTube  IG  Yelp  Google +  Twitter  WebsiteYou can follow Ronda EvansFacebook   Facebook   IG  LinkedIn   Website You can contact Liliana BaylonWebsite: www.lilianabaylon.com https://linktr.ee/lilianabaylon

Welcome back for the next journey of The Family Express Podcast with Kathryn de Bruin and Ronda Evans where our destination is resilient and connected families. This is the first installment of our Attachment in Action Series. In this episode we focus on attachment in the infant stage. We underscore the importance of assessing for the emotional and relational context at the time of birth and the infant stage, and we provide overview of caregiver responding to baby distress signals.   All Aboard !1:20. Assessment is about taking a developmental history that includes the contextual, emotional and relational attachment history.2:50. This Attachment in Action Series and the accompanying conversations are taken from the content in the book called “Attachment and Family Therapy” by Patricia Crittenden, Rudi Dallos, Andrea Landini, Kasia Kozlowska4:30. Baby/Newborn/Infant stage means that there is joy, and loss because there is change. 5:30. A developmental history needs to include talking about birth because birth can bring death or trauma or loss.6:50. When a baby arrives, there is change and the arrival of conflicting needs. Where there is change, there is inherent loss. When there is change, we may see distress and distress means that coping strategies may emerge/become visible.8:55. Family contexts to consider: Siblings; Non-birthing parent or Non-Primary Attachment parent/caregiver12:30. Consider other contextual factors for families such as covid.22:30. Infants are learning to regulate arousal/distress. Parent needs to see the arousal/distress signal from the baby, problem solve about what does the baby need, and respond to the need, so that the arousal/distress will then reduce. So, baby goes through arousal and calm, over and over. This then determines the baby's internal state of managing their arousal. So the baby experiences and creates a physiological model of managing arousal. Joint, dynamic input from the beginning.30:25. Winnicott said, “there is no such thing as a baby. There is no such thing as a ‘mom'. There is only a nursing pair”. Life starts as a dyad/pair because the baby is 100% dependent on the caregiver. 31:40. If a baby never experiences arousal, then the baby never has to learn how to regulate their internal arousal. Or, if a baby gets aroused, and there is no responsiveness, or responsiveness is too slow (temporal lag between arousal and caregiver response) or responsiveness is intermittent/inconsistent, then the baby won't learn the “contingencies” and the baby does not experience and create the physiological model of arousal regulation. Thus every baby needs to experience arousal so that the internal physiological model of arousal regulation gets created.Thank you for listening! Kathryn de Bruin is an ICEEFT Certified EFT Trainer. Kathryn and Ronda are both licensed marriage and family therapists, EFT supervisors and therapists, and AAMFT Approved Supervisors.You can follow Kathryn de BruinFacebook  YouTube  IG  Yelp  Google +  Twitter  WebsiteYou can follow Ronda EvansFacebook   Facebook   IG  LinkedIn   Website 

Welcome back for the next journey of The Family Express Podcast with Kathryn de Bruin and Ronda Evans where our destination is resilient and connected families. Today's guest Norma Brito de la Cuesta from Costa Rica. Norma has a masters degree, and she has a vast history of experience in the field of psychology, and she is a practicing family therapist. You can hear part one of Norma's interview on assessment in family therapy in episode 18.   All Aboard !2:34. #6. Discussion of assessment of gender roles and the changing landscape of gender roles, Cultures may have different expectations for gender in terms of behavior, responsibilities, and opportunities, and can impact parenting. 10:44. #7. Discussion of the intersection of gender and attachment and bonding in children.12:55. Kathryn recaps the assessment of gender in family therapy.13:59. Discussed the intersection of gender and position in the family and how that impacts parenting and expectations.17:43. #8. Cultural identity including immigration, traditions, rituals.23:21. Kathryn recaps cultural identity of family captured in family tradition and rituals. 23:54. #9.  Peer influence.31:09. #10. Respect diversity including parents as role models and the impact of fostering empathy in children/teens.Thank you for listening! Kathryn de Bruin is an ICEEFT Certified EFT Trainer. Kathryn and Ronda are both licensed marriage and family therapists, EFT supervisors and therapists, and AAMFT Approved Supervisors.You can follow Kathryn de BruinFacebook  YouTube  IG  Yelp  Google +  Twitter  WebsiteYou can follow Ronda EvansFacebook   Facebook   IG  LinkedIn   Website You can follow Norma Brito hereIG: normabritodelacuestaFB: Norma Brito

Welcome back for the next journey of The Family Express Podcast with Kathryn de Bruin and Ronda Evans where our destination is resilient and connected families. Today's guest is Dr. James Hawkins from Arkansas. Our episode focuses on shame as a parental block.   All Aboard !1:00. James opens with what he likes about in EFFT.5:20. We set our episode focus on parental shame and the impact on attachment when a parent is blocked by shame.7:30. James locates when in a session we may see a parent get caught in their parental shame. Kathryn clarifies that as a child distills or opens up about their experience, then a parent may get hijacked by the shame as they metabolize what their child is saying and they lose their emotional balance.9:40. The reframe: As the parent loses their emotional balance and is consumed by shame, the reframe is that this shows how much they care about their child and what their child goes through and experiences and thus shows the parental intent to caregive/to give care to their child when the child needs it.10:30. James offers a demonstration of how to validate the good reason that shame is showing up at this moment for a parent (flipping the block intervention).12:25. James talks about the importance of maintaining focus in EFFT sessions particularly when a child opens up to distill and share their experience. Focus: #1 stabilize/resource the child. #2 respond to parental shame by validating it and making sense of it showing up in that moment.14:50. Kathryn and James relate to times when they have missed that focus and they missed reframing the parental shame and it has affected the kid. 17:35. Kathryn provides a demonstration of an enactment of validating the kid's response to the parental shame, and then re-focusing back to the parent to help them respond to their child.18:40. We discuss the power of attachment in coming alongside a parent who gets caught in shame, or when families get stuck in negative patterns.23:53. James provides a demonstration of how he intervenes when a parent is in emotional distress (ie, shame) and a child moves into an emotional caregiving role to the parent. 26:05. He honors and validates the good reasons for the existence of the child caregiving, and not only ask the child to "give up" that child caregiving of the parent.28:00. James differentiates between experiential shame (that is an opening to parental accessibility) with appropriate time and place whereas "behavioral shame" as a defensive/protective strategy, and how behavioral shame in a pattern pulls for positive reinforcement/reassurance29:45. James and Kathryn discuss the difference between guilt and shame. James describes that when a parent feels guilt in the moment, and then sees their child's position, and can convert this to caregiving action, this is an ideal moment and we the clinician want to put this into action with an engaged encounter (ie, enactment).34:49. James describes one way to respond/intervene with a "behavioral shame" moment in a parent. He describes this is "a Sue intervention." His intervention focuses on making the process explicit, and some highlighting of the timing of the behavioral shame.Thank you for listening! Kathryn de Bruin is an ICEEFT Certified EFT Trainer. Kathryn and Ronda are both licensed marriage and family therapists, EFT supervisors and therapists, and AAMFT Approved Supervisors.You can follow Kathryn de BruinFacebook  YouTube  IG  Yelp  Google +  Twitter  WebsiteYou can follow Ronda EvansFacebook   IG   WebsiteYou can follow Dr. James HawkinsWebsite:  https://www.dochawklpc.comIG: doc_hawk_lpcFB: dochawklpcThe Leading Edge in Emotionally Focused Therapy Podcast

Welcome back for the next journey of The Family Express Podcast with Kathryn de Bruin and Ronda Evans where our destination is resilient and connected families. Today's guest Norma Brito de la Cuesta from Costa Rica. Norma has a masters degree, and she has a vast history of experience in the field of psychology, and she is a practicing family therapist.All Aboard !0:55. Norma talks about her vast experience in the field of psychology. 2:30. From all of her years of experience, Norma's #1 recommendation is to explore deeply with every family about the beliefs and values that guide a family. Norma cautions about implicit bias in the clinicians about what guides or organizes a family.8:50. Norma describes how to validate what the parent/family brings up at the beginning of family therapy to then be able to ask relevant family-focused assessment questions. She describes that the clinician can say "I want to really understand you as a family, how you think, how you came to be the family that you are. I need to understand deeply who you are and this is coming from a respectful place in me. And so I have some specific questions to ask about."10:35. Assessment subtopic #1: Parent/Caregiver Goals particularly around the spectrum of independence/autonomy to dependence. What are the hopes and dreams that parents have for their child(ren). Then partners have children and partners may bring the hopes and dreams of their parents/family of origin to their nuclear family. The question becomes "what is better?" 13:00. Norma explains how the parent/caregiver fears interfere with the respect that kids need to live their own lives and the way the kid wants to live their own life.15:15. Norma and Kathryn address how there is a generational shift in the younger generations who are empowered with their voice, they ask questions, and they express their opinions, and parents/caregivers need to respect that. Norma cautions that by continuing to setting limits on the kid and discouraging kids from their natural way of asking questions and expressing their opinion then they won't grow in their autonomy and self-responsibility for their life.16:30. Assessment subtopic #2: Discipline. Parenting with love, support and limits. Norma and Kathryn discuss the interrelatedness of discipline and the purpose/function of discipline. Discipline is to protect the kids; discipline is not just to limit/limitations on the child. Parenting with love, support and limits creates structure and security for the growing child and provides a model of guidance.21:50. Assessment subtopic #3: Communication. Norma explains how the parent needs to lead with listening and understanding why their child is sharing about a certain topic, and needs to hold their personal reaction or opinion for later. Kathryn and Norma have a discussion about the spectrum of direct and indirect communication.31:25. Assessment subtopic #4: Education. Clinicians need to ask and listen about the value on the continuum of academic/education/learning-focus versus socialization/extracurriculars/play/fun in a family. 34:55. Assessment subtopic #5: Family Structure (ie, Extended Family). Who is involved in this child's life and what are the values that those adults/extended family members emphasize with the child(ren)? Another aspect can be when parents see their own parents in the grandparent role be gentle with their children when the parent did not get that from their parent as a child. Stay tuned for Part Two of Norma's family assessment coming in mid-September.Thank you for listening! Kathryn de Bruin is an ICEEFT Certified EFT Trainer. Kathryn and Ronda are both licensed marriage and family therapists, EFT supervisors and therapists, and AAMFT Approved Supervisors.You can follow Kathryn de BruinFacebook  YouTube  IG  Yelp  Google +  Twitter  WebsiteYou can follow Ronda EvansFacebook   Facebook   IG  LinkedIn   Website You can follow Norma Brito hereIG: normabritodelacuestaFB: Norma Brito

Welcome back for the next journey of The Family Express Podcast with Kathryn de Bruin and Ronda Evans where our destination is resilient and connected families. Today's guest is Gail Palmer, MSW, RMFT, one of the founders of EFFT. All Aboard !2:05. (Goal #2) Parental/Caregiver Intent.4:30. (Goal #1) Parent/Caregiver Buy-In. Clinician advocates for family therapy with parent involvement.6:40. Stage 1 is about helping the parent to become accessible, responsive and engaged. 10:10. (Goal #3) - Working with Parental/Caregiver Blocks). Gail and Kathryn talk about why we do the parent work in the order of parental intent first and then parental block(s).13:00. In Stage 1, we keep the focus on the parent in the parent/caregiving role.15:15. As Gail says, EFFT is family therapy and it is a child-centered therapy where everything we do with the parent is in service of the child.18:55. Gail recalls when she approached Sue Johnson with what makes EFFT different from EFCT: there is a power imbalance in the parent-child dyad and children cannot and do not hold equal responsibility for a negative interaction cycle.19:45. (Goal #4) Parent/Caregiver Accessibility (also called Openness). Once the parent block is processed, then parental accessibility can suddenly show up in session. Gail provides a concrete example of what parental accessibility and openness can sound like in the parent saying "I really want to do this different with you. I really want to listen more."20:55. Parental accessibility can suddenly show up and can suddenly get blocked again, for example, when once a child shares what has hurt them in their caregiver-child relationship, -- the caregiver can experience shame, grief, emotional pain, their own childhood attachment wounds or negative model of self.19:55. Ronda slows down the conversation here. Gail describes that when children risk and open up, then the parent can get blocked.25:15. Gail describes that there is a skill set for catching when a kid risks and opens up and the parent gets blocked. Gail describes skills of making the moment explicit and making sense of how come the block came up at this moment, and co-regulate with the parent, and we differentiate that this parent block is not about the child, and the child needs the clinician to make this transparent.29:53. Gail tells a story of her relationship with her daughter.32:15. Family resiliency is about families working through stuff together and getting comfortable with how things dynamically shift and change all the time. Thank you for listening! Kathryn de Bruin is an ICEEFT Certified EFT Trainer. Kathryn and Ronda are both licensed marriage and family therapists, EFT supervisors and therapists, and AAMFT Approved Supervisors.You can follow Kathryn de BruinFacebook  YouTube  IG  Yelp  Google +  Twitter  WebsiteYou can follow Ronda EvansFacebook   Facebook   IG  LinkedIn   Website You can follow Gail PalmerWebsite:  https://banjo-triangle-m4ym.squarespace.com/

Welcome back for the next journey of The Family Express Podcast with Kathryn de Bruin and Ronda Evans where our destination is resilient and connected families. Today's guest is Laura Castro, LMFT, PhD. whose life passion and purpose is as a gender affirmative therapist who helps queer adolescents, adults, and families overcome trauma, complex PTSD and relational trauma, and live authentically.All Aboard !1:30. Laura begins with how she uncovered her life's purpose.3:15. Laura provides the landscape of the trans community including the mental health statistics and risks for suicidal ideation, bullying, violence and victimization.7:30. Youth/adolescent buy-in to therapy is critical.8:40. Affirming therapy includes parental support; parents consistently attending, and engaging in therapy; and, using chosen name and pronouns.9:40. Non-affirming therapy includes sending youth to therapy alone and without parent/caregiver involvement; a sense of or implied messaging that the youth "needs to be fixed".10:20. Laura underscores that historically the field of psychology has done harm to the queer community and so an ongoing mistrust exists between trans and queer people and the mental health providers.13:13. Laura discusses the significance of a felt sense of emotional safety including the youth in the decision-making process of choosing a therapist. Laura explains that misgendering undermines emotional safety in the family and in the therapy room.17:30. Qualities of gender affirming therapists: effectively use their clinical skills; have a solid knowledge of issues facing trans people which aided alliance building; and take a supportive stance towards trans youth.19:09. Laura describes that therapists do harm by either lack of clinical skills to handle complexities of working with queer youth and unsupportive parents, or by lack of knowledge, or by their own bias or reluctance to support the gender identity of the youth.23:50. Laura addresses the role of transparency of the "team family" approach conveyed in the individual session helps to create safety and buy-in so the youth knows what to expect from the therapist in conjoint sessions.27:05. Laura describes the grief process for the parent/caregiver/family: the loss of dreams/future as the parent/family had envisioned it to pivot to embrace the dreams envisioned by the youth/adolescent.30:40. With EFFT, we are already shoring up the parent to help them become emotionally accessible and engaged, and this is even the key change event in stage 1.33:00. Focus on the parent in stage 1 relieves the pressure for the youth/adolescent.34:00. How can we support trans and queer youth? How can we become a gender affirming therapist. Get training, grow your knowledge base. Use chosen name and correct pronouns. Get parent buy-in. Grow alliance with parent/caregiver. 37:40. We discuss how to frame/see gender identity development and experiences.39:00. As kids experience their own gender identity process, they need to know that they are loved and supported unconditionally for who they are at any given time on any given day.40:00. Kathryn summarizes our goals as parents/caregivers and therapists: listen carefully and follow their lead, and they are trying things out and figuring it out, and be ready for rupture and repair.43:45. PFLAG for parents/caregivers. Trevor Project. Gender Spectrum. WPATH for therapists; they have a standard of care for mental health clinicians. National LGBTQIA Health Education Center.Thank you for listening! Kathryn de Bruin is an ICEEFT Certified EFT Trainer. Kathryn and Ronda are both licensed marriage and family therapists, EFT supervisors and therapists, and AAMFT Approved Supervisors.You can follow Kathryn de BruinFacebook  YouTube   IG   Yelp   Google +   Twitter   WebsiteYou can follow Ronda EvansFacebook   Facebook   IG  LinkedIn   Website You can follow Laura Castro here:Affirming Journeys Family Counselingaffirmingjourneyscounseling.comPhone: 619.387.8386 Email: info@affirmingjourneyscounseling.com

Welcome back for the next journey of The Family Express Podcast with Kathryn de Bruin and Ronda Evans where our destination is resilient and connected families. Today's guest is Pendo Galukande, licensed counselor in Uganda and graduate student in the US, and we are talking about loss, genetic mirrors, and maintaining connection with loved ones beyond time and space.All Aboard !2:50. Pendo describes the silence around her parent's death and her work to maintain her connection with them in their deaths.5:50. Pendo describes her frozen, silent response to her mother's death and how this was misinterpreted by the adults in her life at the time. She then describes the disorienting experience of how her home life and environment changed in her new adopted family.11:15. She expands on how the silence about her mother's death was devastating and traumatic with loss of connection, loss of processing, loss with parts of self, loss of opportunities to grieve.14:10. Pendo describes that her personal journey into the mental health field led her to read about experiences of the adopted child and the loss of genetic mirrors.18:27. Pendo tells about the adult in her life who broke the silence about the stories and life experiences of her parents which at first was disorienting too since it was a whole new world compared to the business world of her adoptive family.20:25. Pendo recalls her first experiences of genetic mirrors as adults exclaim that Pendo looks just like her mom.23:40. Kathryn reflects on the deep emotional impact that genetic mirrors can have on a person and how it deepens the felt sense of connection with someone who has died, and the impact on identity development and sense of belonging.24:45. Pendo and Kathyrn reflects on the implicit sense of belonging and security that can be built into sharing genetics and looking similar to those around oneself.29:45. Pendo and Kathryn acknowledge the yearning to ask about the loved one who died, while silence has been the chosen path, and Pendo expresses gratitude that the adult in her life volunteered to share the stories and reflect the genetic mirrors.31:40. Kathryn pivots us to the family therapy room and new creative questions we can be curious about when first getting to know a family.32:40. Pendo remarks on how children need to be helped to grieve, mourn and retain connection in the aftermath of a loss.35:30. Kathryn provides a recap of the link between death and loss, connection, attachment, belonging and the risk of not feeling that belonging and the link to emotional health and relational health.37:50. Ronda offers the significance of 'breaking the silence' and how taking the implicit to the explicit in story among families, and in the family therapy room.Thank you for listening! Kathryn de Bruin is an ICEEFT Certified EFT Trainer. Kathryn and Ronda are both licensed marriage and family therapists, EFT supervisors and therapists, and AAMFT Approved Supervisors.You can follow Kathryn de BruinFacebook  YouTube   IG   Yelp   Google +   Twitter   WebsiteYou can follow Ronda EvansFacebook   Facebook   IG  LinkedIn   Website You can follow Pendo Galukande here:

Welcome back for the next journey of The Family Express Podcast with Kathryn de Bruin and Ronda Evans where our destination is resilient and connected families. Today's guest is Dalia Sileem-Naguib who will speak with us about engaging Muslim Families with Cultural Humility and Understanding.All Aboard !Thank you for listening! Kathryn is an ICEEFT Certified EFT Trainer. Kathryn and Ronda are both licensed marriage and family therapists, EFT supervisors and therapists, and AAMFT Approved Supervisors.You can follow Kathryn de BruinFacebook  YouTube   IG   Yelp   Google +   Twitter   WebsiteYou can follow Ronda EvansFacebook   Facebook   IG  LinkedIn   Website You can follow Dalia Sileem-NaguibEmail: dssnaguib@gmail.comWebsite: www.egyceft.com

Welcome back for the next journey of The Family Express Podcast with Kathryn de Bruin and Ronda Evans where our destination is resilient and connected families. Today's guest is Elizabeth Gillespie from Boulder, Colorado.All Aboard !1:14 Elizabeth tells us how her path led her to work with neurodiversity almost exclusively.3:47 Parents are feeling helpless, exhausted, financially worried and stressed, and medication is not enough, and they are in desperate need of support. They are in “fight more” as they advocate for accommodations. There are social struggles, and other mental health issues.6:04 Neurodiversity is highly heritable.8:05 When Elizabeth works with families experiencing neurodiversity, where does she start? Elizabeth tries to have the whole family attend the first session.10:34 Elizabeth pauses to reflect on the complexity of these cases, including sensory struggles.13:53 Families and kids experience frequent judgment for their behavior or responses to cues.15:19 Elizabeth describes what their renovated office space will look like.17:17 Elizabeth returns to reflecting on the quote by Patricia Crittenden and Kathryn and Elizabeth underscore the therapeutic alliance and relationship and the connection that comes with that is so key.22:12 Elizabeth talks about Dr. Thomas Brown, and the new model of ADHD he created informed by research that centers on 6 components including emotional modulation and working memory.27:45 Building connection and engagement through the creative way that reaches a particular client is critical because it soothes the physiological and sensory needs of that client.28:50 Elizabeth shares an example from her life in which joining the intellectual understanding of a specific topic is part of the alliance building and connection because the intellectual topic is tied up in self-identification.Thank you for listening! Kathryn is an ICEEFT Certified EFT Trainer. Kathryn and Ronda are both licensed marriage and family therapists, EFT supervisors and therapists, and AAMFT Approved Supervisors.You can follow Kathryn de BruinFacebook  YouTube   IG   Yelp   Google +   Twitter   WebsiteYou can follow Ronda EvansFacebook   Facebook   IG  LinkedIn   Website You can follow Elizabeth GillespieEmail: connect@betweenpsychotherapy.comWebsite

Welcome back for the next journey of The Family Express Podcast with Kathryn de Bruin and Ronda Evans where our destination is resilient and connected families. Today's guest is Abraham Mehboob Alam, LMFTA (they/them pronouns).All Aboard !1:00 Kathryn and Ronda ask for Abraham's help and correction with any languaging, bias, or closed mindedness heard in our questions or comments.4:19 Abraham discusses being cautious and intentional about family sessions with queer youth/clients. Abraham describes using active listening for indicators about the parent's comfort and acceptance of their child's identity.7:00 Abraham discusses the absolute need for collaboration with the minor client/youth in what is discussed in a family therapy session.11:30 Kathryn and Abraham discuss the nuance of being intentional and cautious about the topics of family therapy sessions. 13:30 Abraham describes possible ways that the EFFT therapist can respond to the parent's conjecture about their child's identity such as "how did you come to that conclusion?"16:00 Abraham emphasizes maintaining a zoomed out approach to the conversation about their child's identity -- talk in generalities "so it can't be traced back to the client."16:55. Kathryn makes explicit the the EFFT therapist needs to maintain close collaboration with the client about the focus/agenda of family sessions.18:40 We discuss that identity development is a private matter until a youth is ready for their identity to not be private anymore, in their own time and way.23:15 Abraham and Kathryn explore what it could mean about the family system if something noticeable is not talked about by the family.27:00 Abraham makes the point that when therapists are parents are leaning with curiosity to their child's identity development to also lean with openness to education and correction -- including the nuance between "who is my child going to be?" versus "who is my child".34:00 Abraham leaves their final message to EFFT therapists: 1. do your own research/education and then take this back to the client, 2. be open to correction and feedback.Thank you for listening! Kathryn is an ICEEFT Certified EFT Trainer. Kathryn and Ronda are both licensed marriage and family therapists, EFT supervisors and therapists, and AAMFT Approved Supervisors.You can follow Kathryn de BruinFacebook  YouTube   IG   Yelp   Google +   Twitter   WebsiteYou can follow Ronda EvansFacebook   Facebook   IG  LinkedIn   Website 

Welcome back for the next journey of The Family Express Podcast with Kathryn de Bruin and Ronda Evans where our destination is resilient and connected families. Today's guest is Dr. Katherine Stavrianopoulos.All Aboard !1:39  Dr. Stavros tells us where she starts with families who are launching a teen.2:33  Dr. Stavros frames the parent's concerns as wanting to help their teen.4:20  Dr. Stavros leans into psychoeducation about the developing teenage brain6:55  Kathryn turns this psychoeducation into an entryway to empathizing with the parent's frustration, and their meaning-making that comes from these repeat interactions.9:37  Kathryn then moves from meaning-making to the parent's fears about losing their impact and influence on their teens, and their fears of "am I doing a good enough job?" (indicative of parental shame).11:55 Dr. Stavros explains her own experience of navigating the teen years and how that definitely increases her empathy for parents going through this developmental stage. Dr. Stavos tells us a story of a time when she faced her own fears of losing control – of losing influence on her son.17:10 Ronda and Dr. Stavros talk about the seismic shift in the agenda going from the parent's agenda to a co-created "our" agenda and relationship between parent and teen.19:00 Dr. Stavros says that a "successful" teen launch centers around the teen knowing that they will be loved and understood with their mistakes and through their mistakes, and the security in knowing they can reach for their parents when a mistake has happened.22:25 Dr. Stavros describes the importance of parent's having self-compassion for their efforts to prepare teens for launching.23:43 Kathryn emphasizes the role of therapists in supporting parents and validating the challenges of parenting, and helping parents to emotionally regulate so that parents can have balanced responses to their teens.25:43 To launch a teen well, Dr. Stavros describes a teen will have an internalized embodiment of "knowing': that when the teen turns to their parent, the teen knows their parent will respond. 27:00 Kathryn comments that family therapists can facilitate this process through explicit, intentional conversations in our offices. Kathryn and Dr. Stavros describe that EFFT therapists can facilitate these conversations between parents and children – feedback conversations.27:30 Dr. Stavros reflects on her experience of this conversation when she and her sons participated in the "Hold Me Tight, Let Me Go" program.34:10 Dr Stavros returns to the notion of the developmental scaffolding of “co-creating” a parent-child relationship.Thank you for listening! Kathryn is an ICEEFT Certified EFT Trainer. Kathryn and Ronda are both licensed marriage and family therapists, EFT supervisors and therapists, and AAMFT Approved Supervisors.You can follow Kathryn de BruinFacebook  YouTube   IG   Yelp   Google +   Twitter   WebsiteYou can follow Ronda EvansFacebook   Facebook   IG  LinkedIn   Website You can follow Dr. Katherine StavrianaopolousEmail: kathstav@gmail.comIG: @kathrystavros

Welcome back for the next journey of The Family Express Podcast with Kathryn de Bruin and Ronda Evans where our destination is resilient and connected families. Today's guest is Preston Herdt, LMFTA. For this episode, suicidal ideation or thoughts is abbreviated as SI.All Aboard !1:10 Preston tells us about how we got started working with youth with SI.4:00 Preston describes from the beginning that he helps parents "show up the best way they can with their children." He is listening for the emotional pain that is under the suicidal ideation.5:30 Kathryn and Preston describe that SI in your child can be experienced as "uh oh!" moment by parents, and then the parents' fears are activated and the parent can go on high alarm.9:50 Preston walks us through the general process of supporting parents, assessing the child and making appropriate referrals.11:45. Preston describes having an emergency preparedness or safety plan for youth who have a history of suicidal ideation.13:35 Kathryn and Preston discuss helping parents to assess accurately if this alarm is truly reduced and educating parents about the specific warning signs for their child.14:40 Preston explores common fears that parents have and how their fears are connected to their attempt to understand if the risk has been reduced: 19:00. Preston emphasizes the EFFT therapist needs to build a working alliance and trust with the whole family, and that the whole family, not just the child/youth, need support and stabilization.21:15 Kathryn and Preston describe the different family experience between an externalizing child and an internalizing child.25:30 Kathryn describes the importance of exploring a child's need such as having someone who is willing to explore and tolerate "the darkness". Kathryn uses the metaphor of a basement.28:50 Preston describes the importance of the felt sense of emotional safety that a child feels in the therapy room that fosters the child's willingness to explore their own basement of darkness with a stronger, wiser, other person.29:30 Kathryn and Preston explore that youth who are having SI really want to talk that "darkenss" out with someone. While that can be scary for others, Preston reassures families that talking about is helpful, and he dispels a common myth.34:30. Kathryn makes explicit that Preston's approach to the assessment and safety planning process is in itself therapeutic.38:05. Kathryn summarizes key elements of Preston's approach including slowing down the pace, focusing on the goal of de-escalation, being a firm stable presence, and seeking to understand.Thank you for listening! Kathryn is an ICEEFT Certified EFT Trainer. Kathryn and Ronda are both licensed marriage and family therapists, EFT supervisors and therapists, and AAMFT Approved Supervisors.You can follow Kathryn de BruinFacebook  YouTube   IG   Yelp   Google +   Twitter   WebsiteYou can follow Ronda EvansFacebook   Facebook   IG  LinkedIn   Website You can follow Preston Email: preston@renovasandiego.comWebsitePsychology Today Profile Instagram: therapywith_phFacebook: Preston Herdt Therapy

Welcome back for the next adventure of The Family Express Podcast with Kathryn de Bruin and Ronda Evans where our destination is resilient and connected families. Today's guest is Dr. Yamilka Urquiza.All Aboard !1:41  Dr. Urquiza tells us about her upbringing in Cuba in a multi-generational households.10:50 Her research findings included a reciprocity of caregiving between the generations.13:00 Another finding was for those now grown adults who had been a helper-caregiver during the ages of 8-13 as kids, they now had a positive attitude toward caregiving. Another finding was increased empathy.16:30 Dr. Urquiza shares her childhood experience of caregiving for her great grandpa in Cuba.18:14 She describes how through caregiving role/experiences, kids learn to think about others and the experiences of others and thus they grow their perspective-taking skill and empathy development.18:55 Kathryn folds what she is learning about empathy-building in kids in Sweden through perspective-taking conversations.19:48 Dr. Urquiza describes the experience of the research participants who described having their own empathy and consideration of others expanded through the caregiving role/experience.20:24 Kathryn describes the multi-generational context her own kids are being raised in and how she helps them grow their empathy and perspective-taking through conversations with them.23:49 Kathryn expands their multi-perspective context to immigrant families.25:10 Ronda describes her sadness about her kid being raised physically separated from his grandparents, and thus this opportunity for exposure to multiple perspectives is more limited.27:09 Kathryn describes how attachment can be developed across time and space.31:01. Dr. Yamilka describes how her son now, without prompting, goes to the nearby senior facility to pay saxophone for the elderly.33:44 Dr. Yamilka describes her joy in finding this positive benefit of fostering empathy from caregiving when previous research had found negative impact and stigma.Thank you for listening! Kathryn is an ICEEFT Certified EFT Trainer. Kathryn and Ronda are both licensed marriage and family therapists, EFT supervisors and therapists, and AAMFT Approved Supervisors.You can follow Kathryn de BruinFacebook  YouTube   IG   Yelp   Google +   Twitter   WebsiteYou can follow Ronda EvansFacebook   Facebook   IG  LinkedIn   Website You can follow Dr. Yamilka Urquiza

Welcome back for the next journey of The Family Express Podcast with Kathryn de Bruin and Ronda Evans where our destination is resilient and connected families. Today's guest is Allie Zangari, LMHC, LMFT from Florida.All Aboard !1:05 Allie tells us how she applied EFT for couples to EFT for families.3:00 Allie and Kathryn talk about how the flexibility in the EFFT session structure is helpful and at times can bring on overwhelm for the EFFT therapist. They begin to explore the duality of the in inherent EFFT map and structure with the freedom that EFFT offers.8:00 Allie shares where she can get stuck: in helping parents become accessible, and identifying and accessing parental intent.10:45 Kathryn validates Allie that when "mining for parental intent" is a struggle, one intervention we do have is to make that explicit in an empathic way, and this piece of work for parental intent may be done in individual sessions.19:15. Allie and Kathryn discuss the importance of being transparent about emotional safety with a teen or adult child is critical in helping the teen or adult child in adjusting their expectations.24:55. Allie explores how parents can continue to have influence on their children as they grow up be embracing two goals.27:00. Kathryn describes the importance of parents reflecting on how they are perceived by others when the parent is in their protective strategy.27:35 Ronda tells a story from her life about when her child reflected back to her about her protective strategy.33:07 Kathryn tells a story from her life about when her protective strategy was reflected back to her.36:10 Allie empathizes that secure attachment comes from the process of rupture and repair. All parents (and people) will have reactive moments and it is in the repair that holds so much attachment value. 37:10 Kathryn describes the depth and breadth of what can be included in a repair conversation such "what advice do you have for me as a parent? What could I be working on?"38:09 We explore the complexity that an EFFT therapist needs to respond to when a reactive moment occurs in session in stage 1. We describe how we can keep (or regain :-) our emotional balance in these reactive moments by narrating the structure and safety priorities outloud.Thank you for listening! Kathryn is an ICEEFT Certified EFT Trainer. Kathryn and Ronda are both licensed marriage and family therapists, EFT supervisors and therapists, and AAMFT Approved Supervisors.You can follow Kathryn de BruinFacebook  YouTube   IG   Yelp   Google +   Twitter   WebsiteYou can follow Ronda EvansFacebook   Facebook   IG  LinkedIn   Website You can follow Allie ZangariEmail:    allisonzangari@gmail.comWebsite:   zangaricounseling.com

Welcome back for the next journey of The Family Express Podcast with Kathryn de Bruin and Ronda Evans where our destination is resilient and connected families. Listen along today as our guest Berenice Leon-Fonseca from San Diego, California shares her experience in working with families going through high conflict divorce cases using a family systems perspective. Our conversation is complete with Berenice's process in the initial stage of assessment and alliance building.All Aboard !1:32 Berenice tells us the path she took to get to this destination.5:19 Parental buy-in starts with a therapist who believes that the co-parenting relationship needs to be the focus.6:14 Building a co-parenting relationship starts with the intake call.7:20 The miracle question in the intake call11:50 In the intake call, building alliance in these families means emphasizing to the parents that they have a voice with you as the family therapist16:04 The first session is a parent-only session20:00 To guide the treatment plan, Berenice will follow a court order including how much to involve a parent or whether or not to reach out to a parent23:00 Getting access to the family system will be slower and the conceptualization will be slower, but it will get the family farther and faster.23:50 Berenice tells us about a real life experience in which slowing down and leaning in to a parents' experience can reveal so much about a family's struggle including the negative cycle32:35 Berenice talks about how therapists can equip themselves including facing our own fearsand getting support and hope from leaning on others.Thank you for listening! Kathryn is an ICEEFT Certified EFT Trainer. Kathryn and Ronda are both licensed marriage and family therapists, EFT supervisors and therapists, and AAMFT Approved Supervisors.You can follow Kathryn de BruinFacebook  YouTube   IG   Yelp   Google +   Twitter   WebsiteYou can follow Ronda EvansFacebook   Facebook   IG  LinkedIn   Website You can follow BereniceEmail: Berenice@renovasandiego.comWebsite

Welcome back for the next journey of The Family Express Podcast with Kathryn de Bruin and Ronda Evans where our destination is resilient and connected families. This episode's adventure takes us to the diverse experience of neurodivergence. Our guest today is Kat Austin, LPC, LAC, LMFT from Boulder, Colorado, USA.All Aboard !2:40 Kat opens with the vulnerability that it is to be a parent, and that parental shame gets evoked.4:14 Kat describes the anecdote for shame.7:15 How shame can show up in a neurotypical parent and a neurodiverse parent.9:58 Exploring the loss, the discovery of differences in brains, and psychoeducation and how making the implicit explicit for the whole family system (parents, siblings, grandparents, and more) can be helpful and organizing.11:58 The family is learning together in real-time. Help the family adopt the reframe of discovery and experimentation13:37 Families are getting stuck around difficulty with emotional regulation. Parents need to have their own strong emotional regulation skills. The goal is for the “most responsivity” to stay online.14:46 Parents can get blocked by grief.15:11 Families can struggle around organizational and structural needs such as sequencing, hyperfocus and time blindness.19:00 Recommendations, resources and referrals for families.22:50 How can we help families when they don't know or recognize that neurodivergence is showing up in the family? 28:15 Kat discusses the philosophical question of labeling or diagnosing, or not.29:40 Being diagnosed or treated for ADHD can lower risk of depression, anxiety, and substance use and can improve self-identity and self-worth.32:20 Advocate for your family, especially in the school system.Thank you for listening! Kathryn is an ICEEFT Certified EFT Trainer. Kathryn and Ronda are both licensed marriage and family therapists, EFT supervisors and therapists, and AAMFT Approved Supervisors.You can follow Kathryn de BruinFacebook  YouTube   IG   Yelp   Google +   Twitter   WebsiteYou can follow Ronda EvansFacebook   Facebook   IG  LinkedIn   Website You can follow Kat AustinWebsiteFacebook

Welcome back for the next journey of The Family Express Podcast with Kathryn de Bruin, LMFT and Ronda Evans, LMFT where our destination is resilient and connected families.This episode's adventure takes us to Egypt. Join us for a conversation about the changes in families and family therapy in Egypt with our guest Eman Onsy. She is the current director and co-founder of the Egypt Emotionally Focused Therapy Community and is a Certified EFT therapist.All Aboard !Eman tells us that Emotionally Focused Family Therapy is a culturally appropriate model for Egyptian families because of the humanistic foundation, and the focus on attachment and relationships. Eman reframes parental buy-in to a larger, macro shift about the changes in stigma about therapy: as the stigma lessens parents engage more in therapy, and as more people become professionals in the field of therapy, therapy becomes more accessible. We hear from Eman's personal experience about the changing family landscape in Egypt. She describes that in the modern age of social media, she cannot rely on the same family rules and expectations from her upbringing. Now in the role of the parent, she is inviting conversation and a shift in the definition and demonstration of respect. Eman gives a real life example of this and she says how “slowing down” is a key reminder to process and digest the emotional experiences that come up in their interactions. Eman offers us a special and highly relevant Islamic quote to this conversation, “raise your kids not for your generation, but for the coming generations.”Eman ends by emphasizing how counselors are not authoritative experts, but rather bring their real genuine self into the therapy room and in this way the therapist models this different approach of humanistic, attachment-based, emotionally focused, “here and now” therapy, and this itself acts as a parallel process for the parents shifting their approach with their children and teens.Timestamps2:15    ICEEFT will formally introduce EFFT to Egypt in January 2024. Our own Kathryn de Bruin will provide this training!3:59    EFFT is culturally appropriate for Egyptian families.8:15    Eman reframes parental buy-in to changes in stigma about therapy,and to improved accessibility to trained helping professionals15:52   How has the parenting landscape changed in Egypt18:28    “Raise your kids not for your generation, but for the coming generations” - an Islamic quote20:12    Ronda and Kathryn summarize Eman's perspective of how Egyptian counselors are helping families make these shifts: by tapping into the built-in magic of attachment and that every parent wants to feel like a successful parentThank you for listening! Join us for the next adventure in two weeks.Kathryn and Ronda are both licensed marriage and family therapists. Kathryn is an ICEEFT Certified EFT Trainer, Supervisor and Therapist. Ronda is an ICEEFT Certified Supervisor and Therapist. They are both AAMFT Approved Supervisors.Thank you for listening!Kathryn and Ronda are both licensed marriage and family therapists. Kathryn is an ICEEFT Certified EFT Trainer, Supervisor and Therapist. Ronda is an ICEEFT Certified Supervisor and Therapist. They are both AAMFT Approved Supervisors.You can follow KathrynFacebook, YouTube, IG, Yelp, Google +, Twitter, WebsiteYou can follow Ronda Facebook  Facebook  IG LinkedIn  Website You can follow Eman Facebook   LinkedIn

Welcome back for the next journey of The Family Express Podcast with Kathryn de Bruin, LMFT and Ronda Evans, LMFT where our destination is resilient and connected families. This episode adventure is all about finding the herd, and the safety that comes with being connected to one's herd. Our guest today is Dr. Ryan Rana, LMFT, LPC, Ph.D. of Arkansas. Dr. Rana is the current president and founder of Arkansas EFT Center and is the founder and current executive director of The Joshua Center.       All Aboard !Dr. Ryan Rana describes the significance of the felt sense of safety and connection for survival, and how losing one's herd is a threat to that safety. As Dr Ryan says, “outside of the herd, the body won't down-regulate.” By contrast, when someone feels connected to their herd, “they can down-regulate stress and this leads to resilience.” This is exactly what The Family Express podcast is all about: destination connection and resilience. Dr. Rana and Kathryn talk about how play therapy helps children unlock stuck places and then family therapy provides the opportunity to restructure communication and create bonding moments between parents and kids, or between siblings. Kathryn, Ronda and Dr. Rana share in a collective wave of hope as they all take in that most kids want someone to "fight for their family."Kathryn slows down the conversation with Dr. Rana as they note that family therapy is often seen as being about teaching parenting, and they acknowledge the disservice and shame this can have on parents. Emotionally Focused Family Therapy takes a different approach: we validate the unique role of parents in the lives of their children and we honor the inherent challenge of parenting. They discuss how family therapy sessions can be structured.The conversation closes touching on the built-in vulnerability of the human condition, especially for children who are dependent on their caregivers. We are all in agreement that all humans need a herd as we look to each other for care, safety, protection and love.4:12 Human behavior, driven by survival instincts, seeks to define relationships for connection.5:13 Addressing students' mental health means addressing social connections.7:09 Cultural challenges make it difficult to recognize systemic factors affecting children's behavior which makes effective intervention difficult.14:03 To establish trust, Ryan focuses on building a personal connection with parents before delving into parenting techniques.20:48 Ryan encourages giving parents space to express frustrations without the child present.25:19 Ryan points out that establishing trust with adults takes time, whereas kids, lacking strong protective barriers, often build trust more quickly.27:14 As a foster parent with both biological and non-biological children, Ryan acknowledges inherent vulnerabilities and attachment needs.28:31 Finding a supportive community impacts brain function, aiding stress regulation and fostering resilience in individuals.30:27 Ryan adds that creating supportive connections is crucial for adults too; even small social interactions positively impact emotional health.Thank you for listening!Kathryn an ICEEFT Certified EFT Trainer. Kathryn and Ronda are licensed marriage and family therapists, Certified EFT Supervisors and Therapists, and they are both AAMFT Approved Supervisors.You can follow KathrynFacebook  YouTube   IG  Yelp  Google +  Twitter WebsiteYou can follow Ronda Facebook   Facebook   IG  LinkedIn   Website You can follow Dr. Ryan RanaOn Facebook  WebsiteThe Leading Edge in Emotionally Focused Therapy Podcastwww.successinvulnerability.com

Welcome back to The Family Express podcast where we embark on a journey of resilience and connection. Tune in today for our very first guest, the incredible Liliana Baylon! Liliana is an immigrant from Mexico with over thirty years of experience working with Latino families in Colorado. We delve into her extensive work and research with immigrants, refugees, and undocumented children.All Aboard!Liliana offers an insightful glimpse into the challenges faced by Latino immigrants. She shares her personal experiences, and the misconceptions, and the harmful stereotypes surrounding Latino families. The breadth of her work emphasizes the importance of cultural understanding. She sheds light on the impact of social services on minority families and the socioeconomic challenges that are often experienced, and she addresses language barriers, immigration status, and the need for sensitivity in therapy sessions. We are so grateful for Liliana's dedication and passion.0:27 We are so excited to welcome our very first guest, Liliana Baylon!0:59 Liliana shares a little bit about herself and her work.2:56 Immigrant children, arriving with parents, face challenges due to undocumented status.8:06  Parents often fear their children adopting conflicting behaviors.9:30  Liliana reflects on how parents express grief for what they left, and concern for cultural identity.11:54  Liliana emphasizes the need for organized adjustments for kids, balancing survival and family values.20:20  Social Services is frequently involved with racial minorities due to cultural misunderstandings and language barriers in mental health sessions.22:22 Liliana addresses socioeconomic challenges, resource access, immigration status, and acculturation stress faced by minorities in therapy.28:04 Liliana encourages cultural attunement by encouraging us to slow down, and and to embrace diversity in language, traditions, and backgrounds.29:11 As an attachment therapist, Liliana emphasizes adapting models for diverse populations, and incorporating play therapy for children.Thank you for listening!Kathryn and Ronda are both licensed marriage and family therapists. Kathryn is an ICEEFT Certified EFT Trainer, Supervisor and Therapist. Ronda is an ICEEFT Certified Supervisor and Therapist. They are both AAMFT Approved Supervisors.You can follow KathrynFacebook, YouTube, IG, Yelp, Google +, Twitter, WebsiteYou can follow Ronda Facebook  Facebook  IG LinkedIn  Website You can contact Liliana BaylonWebsite: www.lilianabaylon.com https://linktr.ee/lilianabaylon

Welcome aboard The Family Express podcast, where resilience and connection are our destination! Join your hosts Kathryn de Bruin and Ronda Evans, on a journey through the landscape of emotionally focused family therapy (EFFT).Together with our guest speakers, we will explore EFFT including lessons learned, shared fears, and the passion that bonds our community. We are so thrilled to embark on this exciting project we've been brewing in the background. As therapists with diverse backgrounds, we'll be delving into the intricacies of family dynamics.In this our first episode, we introduce ourselves and share our unique paths to family therapy. Kathryn, a South African and American therapist, specializes in working with couples and families with young children. Meanwhile, Ronda, a transplant from California to Washington state, has come full circle in her career, rediscovering her passion for working with the whole family system. 0:27 Welcome and All Aboard !1:06 Kathryn tells us a little bit about herself.1:31 We learn a little bit about Ronda.2:26 How did Kathryn end up working with children even though it wasn't her original plan?3:41 EFT (emotionally focused family therapy) focuses on making parents accessible, responsive, and engaged by addressing emotional blocks through support6:22 Kathryn describes that focusing on children's needs alone in therapy may overlook understanding and supporting caregivers effectively.8:14 Transforming parents' emotional accessibility through therapy unlocks skills for broader relationships and multiple children.9:51 Learn more about the EFT model.12:01 Kathryn describes that buy-in for family therapy begins with the intake call.14:25 Shifting focus to parental buy-in is important but difficult and we run the risk of losing families without it.15:18 Some families may struggle to comprehend children's varied emotional responses, including withdrawal, anger, or anxiety.24:30 Kathryn closes by encouraging therapists and parents to embrace the transformative power of family therapy, which can lead to effective and rapid change.Kathryn and Ronda are both licensed marriage and family therapists. Kathryn is an ICEEFT Certified EFT Trainer, Supervisor and Therapist. Ronda is an ICEEFT Certified Supervisor and Therapist. They are also both AAMFT Approved Supervisors. You can follow Kathrynon Facebook @Kathryn de Bruin Family Therapy and Trainingon YouTube  @Kathryn de Bruin Family Therapy and Trainingon IG  @Kathryndebruin_therapyon Yelp, Google +, Twitter, WebsiteYou can follow Ronda on Facebook @RevitalizingRelationshipson Facebook @Emotionally Focused Therapy Groupon IG   @rondaevans_therapyon Website   www.rondaevans.comon LinkedIn