Podcast appearances and mentions of cathy loerzel

Have you ever wondered what we mean when we say “your story” and why it matters? In this special episode, Adam Young, Cathy Loerzel, and Dan Allender sit down together to unpack the basics. Whether you're new to this conversation or you've been on the journey for a while, this is a perfect place to start—or to revisit the foundation of story work. We're thrilled to co-release this episode with The Place We Find Ourselves Podcast. Grab a cup of coffee, find a cozy spot, and join us as we explore the transformative power of engaging your story. If this conversation resonates with you, we'd love for you to join us in person (or online!) at the StoryWork Conference in Atlanta, GA, on Saturday, February 22, 2025. Spend a day diving deeper into your story with Dan, Cathy, and Adam. Therapists, CEUs are available! Ready to take the next step? Find all the details at: adamyoungcounseling.com/storywork-conference-2025/  

You have a story and that story matters. Your story in your family of origin significantly affects the way you think, feel, and act in the world today. This is why Dan Allender says, “It is time to listen to your story.” What if healing begins by listening to your story? By reflecting on the experiences in your growing up years, you can better understand why your brain has been shaped in the way that it has. If you want to experience more of the healing power of understanding your own story, join Dan, Cathy, and myself in Atlanta, GA, on Saturday February 22, 2025, for the StoryWork Conference. The conference will be live streamed if you can't make it to Atlanta. You can register by going to adamyoungcounseling.com. CEU's are available for therapists.

In this podcast, we continue our focus on why our story matters. Our guest, Cathy Loerzel, holds an MACP in Psychology from the Seattle School and helped found the Allender Center with Dan Allender in 2010. She is the co-author of the book “Redeeming Heartache” with Dan. She has developed a therapeutic approach called story work which moves people through their past stories of heartache to heal and discover healthier ways of being in the world. Cathy will be with us at our upcoming REST Retreat at Stone Mountain in Georgia. http://www.worshipcircle.com

Every story is an arousal story, because arousal is the soul's ultimate energy: we long for connection and become panicked at the possibility of disconnection. Arousal, in this sense, is far greater than sexual arousal—it is the energy animating all things. In this episode, we explore the idea of resolved arousal and unresolved arousal, with plenty of story examples and illustrations. Ultimately, we invite you to name how you experienced fulfillment or frustration in your, and the beliefs which became operative in you because of it. In this naming, there is a world of agency, action, and potential freedom. 

Another fun Question and Answer with Karrie, Cathy, and Shara. In today's episode, they answer the question about seeking healing and restoration in relationships with parents who deny past trauma. The hosts emphasize the importance of doing the inner work before engaging in conversations with parents, as well as the possibility of healing without their acknowledgment. They also highlight the need for time, outside perspective, and setting boundaries in order to navigate these complex dynamics. In this part of the conversation, Cathy and Karrie discuss the importance of understanding and accepting the limitations of relationships, especially with parents. They emphasize the need to grieve the reality of what could have been and to release expectations of redemption. They also explore the process of working with clients who have multiple layers of shame and how to decide where to start. They highlight the significance of following the thread of a story and the themes that emerge. They conclude by encouraging listeners to take small steps towards their redeemed selves through honesty and self-reflection. Takeaways Healing and restoration in relationships with parents who deny past trauma may not always be possible, and it's important to prioritize one's own healing regardless of their response. Engaging in conversations with parents about past trauma should be approached with caution and only after doing the necessary inner work. Setting boundaries and taking time for oneself can be crucial in navigating complex family dynamics. Seeking outside perspective from a trusted source can provide valuable insights and guidance in dealing with challenging family relationships. Understand and accept the limitations of relationships, especially with parents, and grieve the reality of what could have been. Release expectations of redemption and focus on personal healing and growth. When working with clients with multiple layers of shame, start with the story that feels the most available and follow the thread to uncover themes. Honesty and self-reflection are key to personal healing and growth. Take small steps towards your redeemed self by being more honest and creating spaces for honesty. Understanding the underlying issues that lead to addictive behaviors is crucial for healing and finding healthier coping mechanisms. Setting boundaries and limitations can be an act of self-care and self-compassion in navigating addiction. Societal acceptance of certain addictions, such as alcohol and sugar, can make it challenging to recognize and address unhealthy patterns. Self-awareness and reflection are key in identifying and addressing addictive behaviors. Karrie Garcia /⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Freedom Movement Monthly Cohort / ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠More Here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Karrie's Book / ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Free & Fully Alive Questions? / Form here Cathy Lorezel / ⁠Instagram⁠  Cathy's Website / ⁠More Info

What is story work? Where did it come from? What does it look like? In part 1 of this 4-part series, Drew shares his story: "The Day I Got Braces."If you love this series, you'd love Husband Material Groups.Apply to join a group at husbandmaterial.com/groupDrew Boa (MA, PSAP) a Certified Unwanted Guide and Inner Child Recovery Specialist. Drew is the founder of Husband Material, where he helps men outgrow porn. Learn more at husbandmaterial.comWendell Moss (MA, LMHC) is a therapist, lead instructor, and facilitator at The Allender Center. Wendell serves as adjunct faculty at The Seattle School Of Theology & Psychology. Email Wendell at bishopmoss@gmail.comMarcus Spaur is a Certified Husband Material Coach, Inner Child Recovery Specialist, and CCAR Coach. Marcus is the founder of Between The Covers Coaching. Learn more at betweenthecoverscoaching.comChris Inman (M.Div, PSAP) is a Certified Unwanted Guide and Certified Professional Recovery Coach. Chris is the founder of Porn-Free Masculinity. Email Chris at chris@np-recovery.comResources for Story Work:The Allender Center and Allender Theory (organization, podcast, courses)Unwanted: How Sexual Brokenness Reveals Our Way To Healing, by Jay Stringer (book)Redeeming Heartache, with Cathy Loerzel (video)The Place We Find Ourselves, by Adam Young (podcast)The ReStory Course, by Restory Counseling (video course)Take the Husband Material Journey... Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy Thanks for listening!

It was an absolute pleasure to be joined by psychologist Dr. Dan Allender and therapist Cathy Loerzel for an incredible conversation about the journey of healing Trauma. Dan Allender and Cathy Loerzel are the authors of the book Redeeming Heartache: How Past Suffering Reveals Our True Calling. They are also the founders of The Allender Center. I really excited to sit down with them after reading the book and participating in story work. This episode is available to watch on Spotify or you listen on any of your favorite podcast platform. You can also watch the episode on video on youtube.YOUTUBE :www.youtube.com/@Thehealingtraumapodcast⁠ Paid Subscribers {FRIENDS OF THE PODCAST} Can enjoy the extended version of this episode which includes a conversation with Dr. Dan Allender where he shares some of his own story of childhood heachache and trauma and how he got into this healing work of over forty years. Subscribe here: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/monique34/subscribe Your support goes directly towards keeping the healing conversation going. Get access to extended and or bonus episodes. Coffee support: buy me a coffeehttps://www.buymeacoffee.com/TheHealingtraumapodcast  Dr. Dan Allender has pioneered a unique therapy centered around his innovative theory and training in transforming betrayal, ambivalence, and powerlessness into faith, hope, and love. He is a professor of counseling psychology at The Seattle School and founder of The Allender Center, speaking on trauma, sexual abuse recovery, love and forgiveness, and intimacy. He's a popular podcaster on The  Allender Center Podcast and the author of  multiple books, Health the Wondered Heart,The Wounded Heart, The Healing Path, To Be Told and God Loves Sex. Connect with Dr. Allender on Facebook or Instagram The Allender Center  Cathy Loerzel received her MA in Counseling Psychology in 2007 is the Co-Founder of The Allender Center at The Seattle School of Theology and Psychology and co-author of Redeeming Heartache: How Past Suffering Reveals Your True Calling. She has spent the last 15 years developing the theory and methodology of a popular new coaching and therapeutic approach called Story Work that moves people through their past stories of heartache to heal and discover healthier ways of being in the world.  You can find her here. https://www.cathyloerzel.com

In this conversation, Karrie Garcia and Kathy Loerzel explore the role of the amygdala and hippocampus in regulating emotions and reactions. The conversation highlights the importance of understanding one's own story and tending to the inner child to address reactive behaviors. Overall, they emphasize the need for self-awareness and self-compassion in navigating emotions and relationships. In this conversation, Cathy Loerzel and Karrie Garcia discuss the importance of understanding and exploring our emotions. They emphasize the reasons behind our emotions and the need for curiosity and generosity towards ourselves. They also highlight the role of story in impacting our emotions and the importance of staying with uncomfortable feelings. The conversation explores the fear of drowning in grief and the power of engaging our emotions for true healing and redemption. Takeaways Understanding the impact of personal stories on emotions can help address reactive behaviors. The amygdala and hippocampus play crucial roles in regulating emotions and reactions. Tending to the inner child and offering self-compassion can help soothe emotional responses. Self-awareness and self-compassion are essential in navigating emotions and relationships. Our emotions have reasons behind them and are not random or indicative of being a bad person. Slowing down and exploring the emotions we experience can help us understand the deeper layers and needs within ourselves. Counterfeit soothing, such as engaging in unhealthy behaviors, may provide temporary relief but does not address the underlying emotions and needs. Staying with uncomfortable feelings and being curious about them can lead to healing and growth. Engaging our emotions allows us to experience true redemption and healing. Karrie Garcia /⁠⁠⁠ ⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠ Freedom Movement Monthly Cohort / ⁠⁠⁠⁠More Here⁠⁠⁠⁠ March Online Freedom Academy / ⁠⁠⁠More Here⁠⁠⁠ Karrie's Book / ⁠⁠⁠⁠Free & Fully Alive Cathy Lorezel / Instagram Cathy's Website / More Info

When was the last time you took time to reflect on your story? As you reflect on the year you've had, why not take some time to think more about your past and do some healing work? Cathy Loerzel, co-founder of The Allender Center and co-author of “Redeeming Heartache” joins Juli to talk about why sharing and hearing our stories helps us heal from past trauma and is crucial for cultivating emotional and spiritual maturity.     Guest: Cathy Loerzel Website: cathyloerzel.com Cathy's Instagram: @cathy.loerzel   Book: Redeeming Heartache: How Past Suffering Reveals Our True Calling by Cathy Loerzel and Dr. Dan Allender Java with Juli: #479 More Than Just Behavior: Why Your Struggles With Sexual Sin Run Deeper Than You Think   Donate

You have a story and that story matters. Your story in your family of origin significantly affects the way you think, feel, and act in the world today. This is why Dan Allender says, “It is time to listen to your story.” What if healing begins by listening to your story? By reflecting on—and engaging—the experiences in your growing up years, you can better understand why your brain has been shaped in the way that it has. These are the topics that Dan, Cathy, and I explore in today's episode. If you want to experience more of the healing power of understanding your own story, join the three of us in Atlanta, GA, on Saturday February 3, 2024, for the StoryWork Conference. The conference will be live streamed if you can't make it to Atlanta. You can register by going to adamyoungcounseling.com. CEU's are available for therapists. 

You have a story and that story matters. Your story in your family of origin significantly affects the way you think, feel, and act in the world today. This is why Dan Allender says, “It is time to listen to your story.” What if healing begins by listening to your story? By reflecting on—and engaging—the experiences in your growing-up years, you can better understand why your brain has been shaped in the way that it has. These are the topics that Dan Allender, Cathy Loerzel, and Adam Young explore in today's bonus podcast episode, which is a co-production between The Place We Find Ourselves Podcast and the Allender Center Podcast. If you want to experience more of the healing power of understanding your own story, join Adam, Cathy, and Dan in Atlanta, GA, on Saturday, February 3, 2024, for the StoryWork Conference. In-person and livestream tickets are available. CEU's are also available for therapists.

In this episode, Carrie welcomes guest author and therapist Cathy Loerzel to discuss the importance of embracing grief and negative emotions in order to heal and move forward. The conversation draws from three archetype characters of past wounding and how it shows up in our lives and relationships with others. The episode emphasizes the necessity of dealing with past wounds which leads to healthier lives and the ability to handle present challenges. It offers hope in understanding and addressing the core wounds of orphanhood, stranger, and widowhood, and encourages individuals to press into their pain and grief towards their own healing journeys. Ep.138; July 25, 2023Key Moments:[1:26] Healing past wounds for a better present[6:20] Three different “characters” of our pain[8:53] Our kids reveal to us places we need more healing [16:18] Learning to recognize and embrace lament's powerResources:Cathy Loerzel's WebsiteCathy's InstagramRedeeming HeartacheWild Edge of SorrowIf you enjoyed the show:Subscribe to our newsletter on the Take Heart WebsiteGet our free resource on finding Gratitude, Peace, and HopeReview and like us on Apple Podcasts Share us with others from wherever you listen to podcastsFollow us on Instagram @takeheartspecialmomsFind Amy at www.amyjbrown.com/  or on Instagram @amyjbrown_writerFind Carrie at www.carriemholt.com or on Instagram @carriemholtFind Sara at www.saraclime.com or on Instagram @saraclimeSupport the show

On this episode: Nate and Aaron are back from England. Aaron has realizations and understands his feet. And a mysterious guest host is on the show. Our Guest: Cathy Loerzel:, author, coach, speaker, wife, and mother. Cathy, Co-founder of the Allender Center, talks about her next steps in life. Discussing loyalty and false loyalty: staying due to fear of being alone. Francis Weller's premise of grief: “everything you love will die”. Growing when there wasn't a plan B, while honoring and grieving your past. God calls us to spiritual and emotional maturity. Finding community with other survivors. Links: Contact, Coaching, Speaking, etc. Books: The Wild Edge of Sorrow: Rituals of Renewal and the Sacred work of Grief Sponsor: Lifeworks Counseling and Coaching Events: 48 Hours of Frankness - Colorado Samson Summit   If you have thoughts or questions that you'd like the guys to address in upcoming episodes or suggestions for future guests, please drop a note to piratemonkpodcast@gmail.com.   The music on this podcast is contributed by members of the Samson Society and www.fiftysounds.com. For more information on this ministry, please visit samsonsociety.com.  Support for the women in our lives who have been impacted by our choices is available at sarahsociety.com. The Pirate Monk Podcast is provided by Samson Society, a ministry of Samson House, a 501(c)3 nonprofit. To enjoy future Pirate Monk podcasts, please consider a contribution to Samson House.

Peace Talks is honored to welcome Linda Royster and Dan Allender to the show! Our wide-ranging conversation covered trauma as alienation from self, racism as a projection of unhealed wounds, epigentics as legacy and so much more. Don't miss this tender and thoughtful hour.Linda Royster has been called to traumatized populations since 1997.  Linda holds a Master's degree in Counseling Psychology from The Seattle School of Theology & Psychology Graduate School and is a Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor who works therapeutically with a diverse clientele. Also, she authored the addendum of the 25th-anniversary re-release of Healing the Wounded Heart by Dr. Dan Allender. Linda is a core teacher and facilitator with The Allender Center, and serves on the Executive Leadership Team.Dr. Dan Allender is a pioneer of a unique and innovative approach to trauma and abuse therapy, The Allender Theory, which bridges the story of the gospel and the stories of trauma and abuse that mark so many. Dan continues to serve as Professor of Counseling Psychology at The Seattle School. Dan is the author of The Wounded Heart, The Healing Path, To Be Told, and God Loves Sex, and he has co-authored several books with Dr. Tremper Longman, including Intimate Allies, The Cry of the Soul, Bold Love, Bold Purpose. Most recently, he co-authored Redeeming Heartache: How Past Suffering Reveals True Calling with Cathy Loerzel. Dan also co-hosts The Allender Center's weekly podcast with Rachael Clinton Chen.» Subscribe to PEACE TALKS Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/peace-talks/id1590168616About the Center for Formation, Justice and Peace:Justice and peace come from the inside out—from the overflow of a transformed heart. This belief led our founder, Bishop Todd Hunter, to start the Center for Formation, Justice and Peace in 2021. The Center brings together a diverse, interdenominational community of people who want to be formed in love to heal a broken world. Because “religion” is often part of the problem, we've created a brave, Jesus-centered space for dialogue, questioning, creating and exploration. PEACE TALKS introduces you to women and men who are working to undo oppression, leading to lives of deeper peace for all.*Connect with The Center Online!*Visit The Center's Website: https://centerfjp.orgFollow The Center on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/centerfjpFollow The Center on Twitter: https://twitter.com/CenterFjpFollow The Center on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/centerfjp/Support the show

On this episode: Nate and Aaron discuss the first ever event at the Harbor House. Our Guest: Cathy Loerzel: Co-founder of the Allender Center, author, urban farmer, coach, speaker, wife, mother. “Every single person causes harm, every single person causes delight.” Continue learning despite what degree you do or don't have. Moving from danger to beauty. Links:  Contact, Coaching, Speaking, etc. Books: Redeeming Heartache, Brain Talk   If you have thoughts or questions that you'd like the guys to address in upcoming episodes or suggestions for future guests, please drop a note to piratemonkpodcast@gmail.com.   The music on this podcast is contributed by members of the Samson Society. For more information on this ministry, please visit samsonsociety.com.  Support for the women in our lives who have been impacted by our choices is available at sarahsociety.com. The Pirate Monk Podcast is provided by Samson Society, a ministry of Samson House, a 501(c)3 nonprofit. To enjoy future Pirate Monk podcasts, please consider a contribution to Samson House.

I am joined by Cathy Loerzel to talk about how to engage another person's story. Effective story engagement is not a magical skill that some people have and some people don't. It can be learned. Today we give a preview of some of the principles and tactics of effective story engagement. If you want to learn more, consider joining us on Saturday, May 13, for a zoom conference on How to Engage Another Person's Story. You can sign up here.

“Our memories are our stories and there's no story that we tell that isn't from our vantage point,” says our guest this week, Cathy Loerzel, MA.  As we engage our stories and try to recall past events, some of our memories may feel unclear, incomplete, or even untrustworthy.  Dan Allender and Cathy Loerzel unpack how the brain fragments or scatters painful memories as a trauma response, and how we can work to shed light on those parts of our stories from the past in order to help us live into our present stories with greater freedom.  

Welcome to 24 Carat Conversations Podcast. This Season we will be chatting about Transitions in life. Our guest is this week is Cathy Loerzel received her MA in Counseling Psychology in 2007 is the Co-Founder of The Allender Center at The Seattle School of Theology and Psychology and co-author of Redeeming Heartache: How Past Suffering Reveals Your True Calling. She has spent the last 15 years developing the theory and methodology of a popular new coaching and therapeutic approach called Story Work that moves people through their past stories of heartache to heal and discover healthier ways of being in the world.    She is a story work coach, popular speaker, writer and consultant based out of Seattle, WA where she lives with her husband, 2 little boys, 2 big dogs and 7 chickens on their urban farm.  I couldn't think of a more appropriate person to kick off this season about transitions in life than Cathy!      Follow our guest https://www.cathyloerzel.com https://instagram.com/cathy.loerzel?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=   Don't forget to join the Facebook Group  https://www.facebook.com/groups/24CaratConversationsPodcastGroup   Follow our Host Rhonda Velez  www.rhondavelez.com https://instagram.com/realityoflife02?igshid=1dpidv6xl9exi

Cathy LoerzelUnderstanding Your Story Workshop with Cathy Loerzel and Adam YoungRedeeming Heartache BookThe Allender CenterThe Seattle School of Psychology and TheologyAbby Wong-Heffter, a co-founder of The Allender Center, therapist and teacher

Cathy Loerzel joins me to talk about why it's so important to do the work to understand your story, particularly your family of origin story. In short, the three reasons are: understanding your story will allow you to experience healing, stop reenacting your past in the present, and discover what you are meant to do in your part of the world (discover your kingdom). Near the beginning of the episode Cathy shares a personal example of how her family of origin story is presently affecting the way she shows up in her marriage. I do the same thing at the end. What fun. Cathy and I will be co-leading the “Understanding Your Story Workshop” on Saturday, November, 19. It's virtual, via zoom. You can register at adamyoungcounseling.com. 

Brenda J and Karen Wonder interview Cathy Loerzel, co-author of Redeeming Heartache. She is also a licensed counselor and speaker and is Co-Founder of The Allender Center at the Seattle School of Theology and Psychology. Cathy discusses many deep topics including disassociation, isolation and fragmentation. They dive deep into a new therapeutic approach called Story Work that moves people past stories of heartache to heal and discover healthier ways of being in the world. https://theallendercenter.org https://hangingontohope.org

This week Karrie brings back Cathy Loerzel to continue their conversation on calling and how we are meant to live. In this episode, they discuss what it means to live in the fullness God has for us. A life that is filled with both joy and grief - and the importance of bringing God into the pain in our stories. Cathy is a co-author with Dr. Dan Allender of “Redeeming Heartache: How Past Suffering Reveals Our True Calling” and co-founder of The Allender Center. Listen to this part 2 episode where Karrie and Cathy discuss stepping into our calling, accessing joy through healing, and bringing God into our pain.

Cathy Loerzel is the Co-Founder of The Allender Center at The Seattle School of Theology and Psychology and co-author of Redeeming Heartache: How Past Suffering Reveals Your True Calling with Dan Allender. She has spent the last 15 years developing a popular new coaching and therapeutic approach called Story Work that moves people through their past stories of heartache to heal and discover healthier ways of being in the world. In this season opening episode, Stephen talks with Cathy about what it means to listen to your story and how artists and creatives can move toward a much healthier mode of living and creating in the world. Music in this episode: GlasseaSponsor: Brightbell Creative: Meaningful Marketing for The Creative Artist. Join The Creative Collective:

Brenda J and Karen Wonder interview Cathy Loerzel, co-author of Redeeming Heartache. She is also a licensed counselor and speaker and is Co-Founder of The Allender Center at the Seattle School of Theology and Psychology. Cathy discusses many deep topics including disassociation, isolation and fragmentation. They dive deep into a new therapeutic approach called Story Work that moves people past stories of heartache to heal and discover healthier ways of being in the world. https://theallendercenter.org https://hangingontohope.org

Sneak peek into episodes 86 and 87 Redeeming Heartache With Cathy Loerzel.

This week Karrie talks with Cathy Loerzel, speaker and coach, about our calling and what that really looks like in our lives. In this episode, they share their own perspectives of adhering to their calling while also finding joy in their everyday lives. From speaking to many on stage, to serving our families in the mundane, we are called to find beauty and delight in God's calling on us, big or small. Cathy is a co-author with Dr. Dan Allender of “Redeeming Heartache: How Past Suffering Reveals Our True Calling” and co-founder of The Allender Center. Listen to this 2 part episode where Karrie and Cathy discuss stepping into our calling, taking joy in the mundane, and living life to the fullest.

Heartache has a pattern, and so does healing. Author and therapist Cathy Loerzel explains the 3 types of heartache, and a powerful path to healing for each one. Learn how your past has uniquely prepared you to experience more joy. Cathy Loerzel founded the Allender Center with Dr. Dan Allender in 2010.Together with Dan, she is the co-author of Redeeming Heartache: How Past Suffering Reveals True Calling (this is a paid link).Connect with Cathy at cathyloerzel.com.

Today we are joined by Dr. Dan Allender and Cathy Loerzel for an incredible conversation about the journey of healing. They share wisdom on how our mental and physical health is so deeply intertwined, and break down the differences between coping mechanisms and actually processing trauma. Dan and Cathy share more rhythms and practices in their newest book, Redeeming Heartache: How Past Suffering Reveals Our True Calling. We are wrapping up season five and getting ready to launch our new season on June 7! This summer will be all about marriage and parenting. We have an exciting lineup of guest conversations, be sure to follow along to stay up-to-date.May is Mental Health Month and we are so excited to be sharing this conversation with you today. In order for us to continue reaching others with these important conversations, we would love for you to leave a review. 

Bonus episode! Cathy Loerzel and I dive into why it's crucial to take your wounds seriously, and how your wounds lead to the “orphan experience,” “stranger experience,” and/or “widow experience.” We also talk about what redemption looks like for each of these three types of wounding. Jesus takes our experiences of trauma and redeems them. That is, God creates glory, meaning and calling out of the very things that were designed to hurt us. If you want to better understand what redemption can look like for you, Cathy and I will be co-leading a live Redeeming Heartache event on May 21, 2022, in Fort Collins, CO. You can sign up here.

We live in a broken world filled with broken people. Because of this, everyone experiences some level of trauma. Unfortunately, past trauma experiences can greatly impact our lives, perceptions, and interactions in the present. Many of us have become adept at numbing our pain. In order to heal, however, we need to have the courage to unpack and process our trauma stories with truth but also with a great deal of self-kindness. In this episode, Dr. Allender and Cathy Loerzel, coauthors of Redeeming Heartache, released by Zondervan, share some archetype mentalities that often stem from trauma, why it's so important we learn to order our trauma stories, and how we can grow in greater freedom. Find Dr. Allender at:https://theallendercenter.org/about/team/dan-allender/https://www.amazon.com/Dan-B.-Allender/e/B001HCW4JUFind Cathy Loerzel at:https://theallendercenter.org/about/team/cathy-loerzel/https://www.instagram.com/cathy.loerzel/Learn more about their book, Redeeming Heartache - https://www.zondervan.com/p/redeeming-heartache/Find Jennifer Slattery at:JenniferSlatteryLivesoutLoudhttps://www.facebook.com/JenSlatteFind Wholly Loved Ministries at:https://www.WhollyLoved.comGroup Discussion Questions:1. What resonated with you most in today's episode?2. What type of thoughts or emotions arose when you heard Dr. Allender's definition of trauma?3. Consider Cathy Loerzel's discussion on the three common ways people deal with trauma (to fragment, numb, and isolate). When has this been true for you?4. What do you think it means, in terms of unpacking past wounding, to show oneself kindness?5. Why might it be important for us to acknowledge the brokenness of our world (that our world is not as God intended)? 6. How can acknowledging the world's brokenness help us process past hurts?7. What thoughts or emotions arose when Dr. Allender spoke of false Edens? 8. What are some false Edens people might create?9. What are some false Edens you have created?10. What is one action step God might want you to take based on what you heard in today's episode?

CORRECTION: Ancestors from Melitopol, Ukraine not Mariupol, Ukraine.The Daily Show's Trevor Noah on Refugees: "...refugee is not a synonym for brown person. Anyone could become a refugee. It's a thing that happens to you, it's not who you are." -Trevor NoahNAACP's tweet comparing the treatment of Haitian Refugees in 2021 to the treatment of enslaved people in the 1800s. Photo of Strollers left at the Poland Train Station for incoming Ukrainian Refugees.  Unpacking Workshops: Purity Culture Register HereINFO: Unpacking Purity Culture, Sex and Race, May 22, 2022 9AM-12:30PM PSTThis online workshop consists of 3 hours of content from the panelists discussing the intersections of sexuality, faith, body image, race, gender and church structures that are impacted by purity culture.  There will be two 15 minute breaks, moderated discussion in the chat, and resources to encourage further exploration into these complex intersections.  Panelists: Jenny McGrath (LMHC)      indwellcounseling.comTiffany Bluhm, Author, Speaker, Podcaster tiffanybluhm.comDanielle S. Castillejo (LMHCA) wayfindingtherapy.comAbby Wong-Heffter, (LMHC)        abbymwong.comKeisha Polonio, (MSWI) counselingandwellnessboutique.com/keishaWith Support From: , Kali A. Jensen, MA, LMHC cultivatecs.com, Susan Kim, MA, LMHCWay Finding TherapyRacial Trauma Care for Women of Color Summer in Story Group with Maggie and Vanessa Sadler of Abiding in Story. Application here. Racial Identity Work for White Folks - Story Group launching Fall of 2022 Danielle is reading: The newsDanielle is listening to: Soundtrack of Encanto, Dr Dre & Snoop Dogg, Soundtrack of The West Side StoryDanielle is inspired by: Working with others and her kids. Maggie is reading: The Gospel of John in Eugene Peterson's The Message, Redeeming Heartache by Dan Allender and Cathy Loerzel, Building a Story Brand by Don Miller. Maggie is listening to: Muse with her kids, Adam Young's podcast The Place We Find OurselvesMaggie is inspired by: the global response in support of Ukraine

Oof. This week has been a doozy around the Mills family home. We lost our beloved Bear, a big mini Aussie, who saw us through so much life and heartache (you have probably even heard him on the podcast barking a time or two, saving us from mailmen). Bear had surgery after an obstruction from eating underwear (yep, anyone else have a dog who does this?) and could not recover. It was excruciating to witness Bear's suffering post op and eventually his death. Mornings have been hard and teary as my sidekick is gone. Our little Bruce (1 year) is left behind and has struggled to eat and find his own way without his big bother to lead.Everyone of us would say we have survived some sort of heartache, but how many of us are bold enough to name it trauma? I get it. The word “trauma” has become trivialized in some ways. We know more about it today, there's more education than ever before on the topic of trauma and often when this happens we become desensitized to it. The truth is, there are all sorts of traumas, little “t” traumas (microagressions, moments of fear and panic, stitches in the knee) and big “T” traumas (fires, death, divorce, natural disasters, physcial, sexual, emotional, spiritual abuse). Funny thing is, sometimes our body doesn't always know the difference if we've not acknowledged our heartache. This week, Cathy Loerzel of the Allender Center, guides us through the topic of her new book with Dr. Dan Allender, Redeeming Heartache, how past suffering reveals your true calling.This book explores the archetypes of Orphan, Stranger and Widow and their transformed roles of Priest, Prophet, and King/Queen. Brett and I have gone through this book with our small group and it's been a beautiful journey of sharing stories, insight, and witnessing one another's pain but also potential. For me, the journey of grieving my own myriad of unique traumas has provided a more integrated connection to my work at Jesus Said Love and Lovely - it's also exposed my failures and shortcomings. Cathy encourages us to look at our stories of heartache with faith, hope and love wrapped up in the kindness of God. Want to get a FREE copy of the book? Share this post on instagram, tag @jesussaidlove as well as another friend, and you'll be entered to win! Winners will be announced by Friday ¾ via instagram. All the LOVE!Emily and Brett

Many of us live in these “false Edens,” a space of being blissfully unaware that there is pain, heartache, and trauma which we must confront. When we consciously choose to engage our own stories and deconstruct these “false Edens” in which we're living, we can move more freely into our calling to find true redemption on the other side.Who better than to discuss this with us than this week's podcast guest, Cary Umhau? Author, speaker, activist, and advocate for those facing homelessness and hunger, Cary knows what it is to step out of the constructs of her life into living what she calls a “spacious life.”  Listen as Dan Allender and Cathy Loerzel, co-authors of “Redeeming Heartache,” speak with Cary Umhau, author of “Burning Down the Fireproof Hotel” and find parallels between their work and their stories.

This week, Cathy Loerzel is our impromptu host as she facilitates a conversation between Dan Allender and his friend of nearly five decades, Scotty Smith, a pastor, writer, and consultant. You'll get to listen in on how we can engage our stories as we age and how we can share those stories with others over the years.   This conversation might make you feel like you're sitting around a cozy table with close friends; we hope you enjoy it.

I am joined by Cathy Loerzel to talk about how to engage another person's story. Effective story engagement is not a magical skill that some people have and some people don't. It can be learned. Today we give a preview of some of the principles and tactics of effective story engagement. If you want to learn more, consider joining us on Saturday, February 19, for a one day zoom conference on How to Engage Another Person's Story. You can sign up here.

Does past heartache seem to dictate your present life? This week, Steve and the gang sit down with authors Dan Allender and Cathy Loerzel to discuss a new path toward healing. The post Dan Allender & Cathy Loerzel | Redeeming Heartache | Steve Brown, Etc. (Re-air) appeared first on Key Life.

“Part of what it means to be human is to suffer, but there's a way to move through it that brings joy and goodness to both you and the world around you.” Dan Allender and Cathy Loerzel. We all endure trauma—either Big T or Little T. We all seek healing. Yet all too often, the defense mechanisms we constructed to survive trauma, now keep us constrained. Join us to consider: Who we are meant to become in the midst of our heartaches. That we've all been orphaned, estranged, and widowed due to trauma and loss. How we can bring goodness and joy to others as we move through pain. According to Dan, “Every one of us suffers, yet our suffering is never meant to be only ours—we're meant to not only join our own transformation, but also in the privilege of being able to join in others' transformations.” If you're hurting, you'll feel a balm of empathy in Dan and Cathy's words. Please join us for a tender, loving, healing conversation. Allender Center Website: https://theallendercenter.org/ Instagram: @allendercenter Dr. Karin Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook Instagram: @dr.karin Single is the New Black - Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support

Heartache is a part of life and so is trauma but it doesn't have to consume us. There is hope and a way to come out on the other side to live a life of joy! Our guests are psychologist Dr. Dan Allender and counselor and teacher Cathy Loerzel of The Allender Center at the Seattle School of Theology and Psychology https://theallendercenter.org/, who join us to talk about their incredible new book Redeeming Heartache. They offer tools to put the pain of the past behind us by facing what troubles us.

Cathy Loerzel joins Stephen James to discuss how loneliness impacts the human experience using the archetypes of the orphan, the stranger, and the widow.  Cathy is the co-founder of The Allender Center and co-author of Redeeming Heartache: How Past Suffering Reveals True Calling with Dr. Dan Allender.

Learn more about Cathy Loerzel: Bio: https://theallendercenter.org/about/team/cathy-loerzel/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cathy.loerzel/Allender Center Story Workshop: https://theallendercenter.org/offerings/workshops/the-story-workshop/Redeeming Heartache book by Dan Allender & Cathy Loerzel: https://www.amazon.com/Redeeming-Heartache-Suffering-Reveals-Calling/dp/0310362016Jane Boutwell is an artist & creative coach based in Atlanta, Georgia. She also founded & operates the Growing Creative Fellowship, a monthly membership that nurtures and empowers you to pursue your creative calling through inspiration and life-giving habits + mindset.For information on the Growing Creative Fellowship, please visit: https://www.janeboutwellstudio.com/the-fellowship Check out our free Sketchbooking Guide at: https://view.flodesk.com/pages/5f7b3597322e6ae12d5c774e Join our email list! To sign up for the Jane Boutwell Studio Newsletter, go to: https://www.janeboutwellstudio.com/contact You can see more of Jane's work at: www.janeboutwellstudio.com Follow @janeboutwellstudio for behind-the-scenes looks into the inner workings of the Jane Boutwell Studio, Growing Creative Fellowship, & the Growing Creative Podcast.

Each one of us has a unique story to share—and within each of these complex stories many of us have experienced loss, heartache, shame, and tragedy which profoundly affect our lives. But once we begin to face our heartaches and realize their effect on our lives, we can see the slow steady pursuit of a God who only desires our healing and wholeness. This week we'll be discussing the way that God cares about each of our stories and is there to walk us through our trauma with Dr. Dan Allender and Cathy Loerzel—founders of the Allender Center, and how we can act out of the new heart He so lovingly restores to us with Pastor Andrew Farley. Links, Products, and Resources Mentioned: Jesus Calling Podcast Jesus Calling Jesus Listens Past interview: Anne Lamott Upcoming interview: Patti LaBelle   Dr. Dan Allender Cathy Loerzel Allender Center Psalms Redeeming Heartache: How Past Suffering Reveals Our True Calling TheAllenderCenter.org   Pastor Andrew Farley Book of Hebrews Hebrews 11 NIV Romans 8:31-39 NIV 1 Thessalonians 5:19 NIV Galatians 5:22-23 NIV www.andrewfarley.org The Perfect You   Interview Quotes: “Anyone who thinks they have a boring story does not understand the deep, redemptive commitment of Christ to find us.” - Dr. Dan Allender “There's more going on than what people are saying, especially in the church, because we're so committed to, you know, believing that if we have the spirit in our souls, then we're healed and never having to go back and actually deal with what was true about who we were in our backgrounds.” - Cathay Loerzel “We can hold the reality of our brokenness and our renewed beauty as image bearers and as re-created in the image of Christ.” - Dr. Dan Allender “It's the valley of the shadow of death where the light of His goodness shows.” - Dr. Dan Allender “I think that we have accidentally communicated a God that is in some sort of barber shop chair in heaven and is swirling around away from us when we sin and then rotating back when we have our quiet time. And so then we've got an in and out and in and out of fellowship. And I think we need to know that His face is always toward us and that He never leaves us.” - Andrew Farley ________________________ Enjoy watching these additional videos from Jesus Calling YouTube channel: Audio Playlist: https://bit.ly/2PrbuwH Video Playlist: https://bit.ly/2PsmEkJ What's Good? Playlist: https://bit.ly/3i7VUlZ ________________________  Connect with Jesus Calling Instagram Facebook Twitter Pinterest YouTube Jesus Calling Website

This is another episode we would pay you to listen to if we could.  Do you approach your friendships, your work, or the pain in your life more as the orphan, the stranger, or the widow?  Don't know what that means? We didn't either until we read “Redeeming Heartache” and then talked with the brilliant psychologist, Dr. Dan Allender, and to our new wise friend, author and therapist Cathy Loerzel. Dan and Cathy helped us understand each of these approaches to the world, and invited us to live redeemed as a priest, prophet, or king and queen.   Together we explore: What if I don't think I've ever had trauma? Do I still need to do heart work? Why do I need to look back at my past? My present is hard enough. Why do I act this way in challenging situations? Join us? | Highlights | “To be able to rest and receive delight and have gratitude, you need to be able to be open to what other people can offer you.... So if you're never in that place of being able to receive that with an open, trusting heart, then you're always…coiled up and ready for the place that you're gonna be harmed next. So it keeps you from being able to receive surprise and delight and play because you're always, always, always looking around the corner.” -Cathy Loerzel “The reality is we all bear some of the effects of the Fall, and that's what we're calling trauma.” -Dan Allender “You can't heal the present without going back to the past.” --Cathy Loerzel | Do the Next Thing | Want more of these two? Go read their book, Redeeming Heartache! https://www.amazon.com/Redeeming-Heartache-Suffering-Reveals-Calling/dp/0310362016 Check out the Allender Center, which both Dan and Cathy are a part of founding and leading! https://theallendercenter.org Dan is a veteran on the podcast! Here's our first episode with him. https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/sexuality-and-shame-with-dan-allender/ Looking for a fresh way to read Scripture? The CSB translation is a sponsor of the HIMH podcast! Learn more about our new favorite Bible at csbible.com.  Want something deeper than just the podcast? Join our Facebook group and discuss with us! https://www.facebook.com/groups/434827357279517 Watch this conversation! (COMING SOON)

This week, Karrie and Shara share some of their typical signs and behaviors that rise to the surface when they are feeling overwhelmed and how, during these times, we can meet ourselves with kindness by practicing the three things that Jesus did; pause, presence and pivot. Things referenced in this episode: Redeeming Heartache by Dan Allender and Cathy Loerzel: https://www.amazon.com/Redeeming-Heartache-Suffering-Reveals-Calling/dp/0310362016 Buy tickets to the Own the Light Tour: ownthelighttour.com Attend Karrie's Freedom Academy: karriegarcia.com/freedomacademy

Does past heartache seem to dictate your present life? This week, Steve and the gang sit down with authors Dan Allender and Cathy Loerzel to discuss a new path toward healing. The post Dan Allender & Cathy Loerzel | Redeeming Heartache | Steve Brown, Etc. appeared first on Key Life.

Thank you Dr. Dan Allender and Cathy Loerzel for joining me in having this timely, important conversation. Today we talk about their new book, Redeeming Heartache: How Past Suffering Reveals True Calling, a book that was written during the pandemic. Tragedy and pain inevitably touch each of our lives at some point. Dan and Cathy share insights and practical wisdom on how to move forward in hope after experiencing loss, trauma, unmet expectations, painful memories, and relational struggles. As Founder and Co-Founder of The Allender Center, Dan and Cathy have a passion for equipping, encouraging, and partnering with people as they are on a journey of healing. The Allender Center is a pioneering organization committed to boldly engaging the impact of trauma and abuse, providing healing and teaching to individuals, couples, and communities, and training professionals to listen and enter into stories in a way that facilitates transformation and hope. This episode was released in conjunction with World Mental Health Day on October 10th. This day is about starting the conversation and bringing awareness to topics of mental health. *** Stay connected with Greg on social @gregholder_ and check out today's show notes!

This week, Karrie talks with renowned Psychologist, Dr. Dan Allender, and trauma expert, Cathy Loerzel, MA about their new co-authored book, Redeeming Heartache. This book will help you recognize what trauma has formed your strengths, heal from trauma you have forgotten, and identify how your stories of suffering have set the trajectory of your calling. Throughout the book, Dan and Cathy walk you through the six types of harm and how they play out in your life and affect you and your relationships. This is an incredible book that takes you past heartache and allows you to see the goodness that can come from it! --- Buy the book today! https://www.amazon.com/Redeeming-Heartache-Suffering-Reveals-Calling/dp/0310362016 Dan Allender Socials: https://www.facebook.com/danbeckyallender https://www.instagram.com/danballender/ Cathy Loerzel Socials: https://www.facebook.com/cathy.loerzel https://www.instagram.com/cathy.loerzel/ Attend an Allender Story Workshop: https://theallendercenter.org/offerings/workshops/the-story-workshop/

In this episode, Caleb talks with Dan Allender and Cathy Loerzel about their book, Redeeming Heartache.Links MentionedThe Allender CenterRedeeming Heartache by Dan Allender and Cathy Loerzel

Many of us have been told, "Don't dwell in the past." But the truth about trauma is that if we don't acknowledge, name, and honor our past pain, it will negatively impact our emotional, mental, and even physical health.  On today's episode of the Living Centered Podcast, Lindsey and Mickenzie sat down with Dr. Dan Allender and Cathy Loerzel, MA, co-founders of the Allender Center in Seattle, to discuss their new book Redeeming Heartache and the power of engaging and examining the painful parts of our stories to find healing and redemption 

Cathy Loerzel and Dan Allender join me today to talk about their newly published book Redeeming Heartache: How Past Suffering Reveals Our True Calling. Cathy and Dan reflect on what redemption actually means in the context of our stories, why they believe redemption is possible, and how our experiences of being an orphan, a stranger, and a widow can shape our sense of personal calling. If you want to engage your story in more depth, consider signing up for The Story Workshop which will be held virtually from October 14-17. You can sign up by going to theallendercenter.org and if you use promo code HOPE21, the $50 application fee will be waived.

What goes into the creation of a book? In this special episode, we take a deep dive into the making of Dr. Dan Allender and Cathy Loerzel's new release, Redeeming Heartache: How Past Suffering Reveals True Calling. Special guest host Dr. J. Derek McNeil, President & Provost of The Seattle School, Dan, and Cathy discuss how the idea for the book came to be, the process and challenges of writing a book together, particularly in the midst of COVID, and the prophetic nature of the content. As they close the conversation, Derek poses a poignant question to Dan and Cathy—and to us all: What does it mean to celebrate our own stories?

We will learn: How to become more self aware of the past trauma or pain that is influencing your present How to identify the lies we tell ourselves so we can heal How to move through and release big emotions Have you ever found yourself asking, “Why did this happen to me?” When we listen to guests of this show, authors of bestselling books, or public speakers, one thing is clear: they have figured out that “why”. It seems so clear when they tell their stories. They usually seem to come full circle with the purpose or moral wrapped in a bow ready to be gifted to the world. Here's what I've learned though: it's very rare to find the meaning behind your own experiences if you don't actively look for it. You have to do the work.  So how do we navigate the emotions that we have over everything that's happened to us, to find real meaning? How do we begin to release our pain to build strength? That's what we're talking about today. Our guests today are Dr. Dan Allender and Cathy Loerzel.  Dr. Dan is a professor of counseling psychology at The Seattle School and founder of The Allender Center. Cathy Loerzel, MA, is a speaker, instructor, as well as cofounder and executive vice president of The Allender Center. Links from the episode: Show Notes: https://mindlove.com/198 Sign up for The Morning Mind Love for short daily notes from your highest self.  Get Mind Love Premium for exclusive ad-free episodes and monthly meditations.  Support Mind Love Sponsors See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Welcome to Episode #79 of the Red Ink Revival Leadership Podcast.    Today's conversation is with Adam Young. Adam is a licensed Clinical Social Worker with Master's Degrees in both Social Work and Divinity. He is a certified colleague of The Allender Center, co-founded by renowned psychologist Dr. Dan Allender and our previous Red Ink Revival guest therapist Cathy Loerzel. Dr. Allender and his trained clinicians–including Adam Young–are the foremost thinkers on Story Work. Adam is a certified EMDR clinician, which addresses trauma and brain function. He has also served as a pastor in a local church. Adam's podcast, The Place We Find Ourselves, is a favorite. Adam's practice is in Fort Collins, Colorado.   Today Adam and I talk about attachments, and how they organize all of our relationships including our leadership connections.   Our conversation includes the following:   * Adam's faith story and how he became a therapist. * Why historical story work is so important for people–especially pastors and leaders–to explore. * What an attachment style is, the four kinds of attachments, and how our brains evolved with our own style. * How pastors and leaders are better leaders when they know the truth behind their own stories and attachment style. * What Scripture has to offer us to compel us to dig into attachments. * How to “earn” a secure attachment style. * How early childhood development of the brain and attachment has informed our instincts in relating with romantic partners, friends, and even God. * How spiritual disciplines and exercises are experienced differently based on individual attachment styles. * How repentance looks different for those with different attachment styles. * How pastoral preaching is styled after the pastor's own attachment style. * How attachment predisposes us to emotional flooding and dysregulation. * How knowing the truth of our stories in the context of our family of origin is critical to repentance and healing.   If you have questions you would like addressed in a future episode, topics you would enjoy hearing, or just want to give us feedback, we would love to hear from you. Email us at redinkrevival@gmail.com.    Visit our website: redinkrevival.com.   Please rate, review, share, and subscribe!   Edited and produced by Evan (Emac) McAlister.

Welcome to Episode #78 of the Red Ink Revival Leadership Podcast. Today's conversation is with Cathy Loerzel.   Cathy is an amazing therapist and a premier trainer of leaders in utilizing therapies that foster redemption and healing by helping people explore their historical stories. Her professional career includes both a political and a business background. She has served in the Federal Government on Capitol Hill, worked with Price Waterhouse Cooper and IBM in process and change management, and served at The Seattle School in a variety of positions including organizational development, event planning, and donor relations. Cathy is the co-founder of The Allender Center, and is growing its mission. The Allender Center is a training and transformation hub for pastors, therapists, lay counselors, and community leaders.   Today we talk about Story Work from her upcoming book release with renowned psychologist Dr. Dan Allender called Redeeming Heartache: How Past Suffering Reveals Our True Calling. In my opinion, Cathy and Dr. Allender–along with The Allender Center colleagues–are the foremost thinkers regarding how your storied history ends up revealing the mysteries of undesirable emotional experiencing and behavior in the present.   Our conversation takes us into the following:   * Cathy's faith story and how she became a therapist. * Why historical story work is so important for people to explore. * Why pastors and leaders must give themselves to understanding the nuances in their stories. * How leadership is based in relationships, and healthy relationships can only be experienced through healing the heart. * What Scripture has to offer to compel us to dig into the narratives in our story. * What trauma has done to our ability to relate healthfully. * How even the best family of origin experiences still leave us with wounds and the need for repair. * How healing actually happens. * The part of our story that requires acknowledgement of intentionality on the part of those who hurt us. * The power of self-compassion and community. * Upcoming story work opportunities with Cathy and Dr. Allender.   If you have questions you would like addressed in a future episode, topics you would enjoy hearing, or just want to give us feedback, we would love to hear from you. Email us at redinkrevival@gmail.com .    Visit our website: redinkrevival.com.   Please rate, review, share, and subscribe!   Edited and produced by Evan (Emac) McAlister.

Dan Allender is the reason this podcast exists. His teaching forms the foundation of nearly every episode. Dan joins me today to talk about how to engage your story and how to engage your suffering. In many ways, this is a conversation about how Dan has experienced God in the midst of his own story. Dan also talks about his forthcoming book (with Cathy Loerzel) titled Redeeming Heartache: How Past Suffering Reveals Our True Calling.

Cathy Loerzel joins me to talk about how to engage your family of origin story in a way that brings healing to your brain. We examine three byproducts of trauma (fragmentation, dissociation, and isolation), the importance of naming the intentionality of those who harmed you, the role you played in your family, and the U Diagram of healing. Cathy and I will be co-teaching the Engaging Your Story Conference on Saturday, June 12. You can register here.

There is no doubt that we are living in a time that heightens levels of conflict and contention in our relationships. Having just finished a one-day conference on this topic, Dr. Dan Allender and Cathy Loerzel talk today on the podcast about their recent, personal experiences with conflict, particularly in this pandemic era. In this season, the ways we engage in and relate to conflict look different. You'll hear Dan and Cathy talk about the reality of this conflict, what we can learn from our styles of relating in conflict, and how, underneath it all, is a deep-seated war with desire. Resources: Purchase access to the recording of the one-day conference “From Conflict to Connection: A Conference for Couples” Listen to a podcast episode on “The Reality of Marriage in COVID-19” Read a blog post by Jay Stringer titled “Good Enough Parenting in a Time of Crisis”

Dan Allender, PhD - is a pioneer of a unique approach to trauma and abuse therapy that has brought healing and transformation by bridging the story of the gospel and the stories of trauma and abuse. He helped found the Seattle School of Theology and Psychology in 1997 as well as the Allender Center in 2011 to train leaders and mental health professionals to courageously engage others' stories of harm.Rachael Clinton-Chen, MDiv is a trauma practitioner, speaker (preacher), and pastoral leader. She serves as the Director of Teaching and Care for The Allender Center at The Seattle School.Together Dan and Rachael host a weekly podcast for the Allender Center which you can find  here: The Allender Center Podcast. You can follow the Allender Center on instagram @theallendercenter---Checking in with Dan and Rachael about how they are doing under COVID. Rachael says she's doing surprisingly well in the midst of it all but definitely feels the fragmentation and the exhaustion; moments of despair and moments of joy that almost feel wrong because they expose the disparity between the two. She and her husband Michael are trying to tend to the small as if it is one of the most sacred and powerful things that they can do while also holding the larger reality of what's playing out in the world as the larger cultural context. She said she is really ready for a pause, which she believes Christmas in a pandemic will offer. Dan just wanted to say “ditto” to everything Rachael said. He says this time is crazy and none of us know how to live but we're living. We're all dislocated; at home but exiled. With the prospect of goodness in the New Year and the possibility of a vaccine, the coming hope actually makes our struggle today that much harder not easier.Danielle feels that deeply and asks are we ready to sprint to the finish or do we still have to pace ourselves for more ahead? Maggie wonders how do we engage Advent and the Christmas season as we both live in and feel the push and pull between hope/joy and grief/sorrow right now?Dan holds no nostalgia for this season--Christmas was not a particularly happy holiday for him growing up; his father was a baker which meant Thanksgiving through the New Year he was usually working as early as the age of 8. It was tense and intense as his family's ability to make a living largely depended on this season. He didn't look forward to this time of year. He also says that the assumption that this is a joyous season on the basis of Scripture is ridiculous; this is a season in which Joseph and Mary are being sent back to Bethlehem for governmental purposes in order to raise taxes. This is a season of tension, exhaustion and fear. It is one of wild, crazy unpredictability. As a therapist also this is not a season he looks forward to because it is a time of deep familial tensions and people between their expectations.“I enter this season pretty regularly with a sense of exhaustion and despair much like I believe the coming of Jesus is meant to be.” Dan believes that most of us ruin Christmas in part in order to have a sense of similitude between what the moment was that the God man arrived on this earth. Rachael thinks Advent has been co-opted by Hallmark, even down to the words we use when we talk about this season. “Hope,” “joy,” “peace” and “love” in a biblical sense are held with tension. They are more complex and robust than we often use today. There is a sense of waiting in exile for God to arrive with a deeper awareness of our need. These words then are the heart cry of what we long for as we live in the juxtaposition of what does not feel or is not true of our Christmas. For Rachael, Christmas has been a season that has held the robust tension between deep sorrow and deep delight. Growing up in a big Italian family they'd roll meatballs, make homemade sauce… They were together in a way that brought so much delight; to be in the midst of 50 people with all the noise, the fights, the chaos and the laughter. It was the passion of people being together. And it is a season that holds the stories of the stresses of life, including financial stress. She says this year feels more akin to the biblical story of the context of Jesus breaking into the world. She believes we have an opportunity to let the ache of advent permeate us more truthfully. Our joy is in the one who comes to be with us; no one can take that away even in a global pandemic, even as police brutality continues, even as socio-economic disparities are heightened, loved ones are lost… There is so much heartache at this moment in time. And yet, there is something inside her that says, “May we encounter something of God who comes to be with us even in the brutality and the heartache.” A God that says, “I am with you and there is something redemptive about your humanity that I am willing to enter in to make a way for you.” Danielle says it feels like Jesus was born with an ache. “What took you so long to get here? Can't you see how bad it is?” And then to think, “How long is it going to take for you to make a difference?” Danielle mentions the song O Holy Night. She said it isn't a sad song when you read the words but it was written in a key and in a frame that she listens to it, it makes her want to collapse and cry, to grieve. Dan says this is a season where we are invited to hold a level of extremity that is the very gospel itself: both incredible grief and joy. Jesus' birth is the victorious beginning… But what is the weapon against the kingdom of darkness? A baby. Really?! He makes reference to a story in 2 Chronicles 20 where in the midst of being assailed by enemies, God tells them to send in the choir … “You've got to be kidding me? This is staggeringly ridiculous!” In a sense, it is the same with the gospel story: the incarnation and the humility of God to disrupt the universe on the basis of the absurd, the ridiculous, the compelling and the beautiful all held together. “I think we are literally in the kind of soil of this year that's closest to Gospel arrival than any we've ever been.” He says, "I'm really anticipating what these days will be while simultaneously having to address it is one of the hardest seasons to not be able to be with family" and loved ones. How do we hold the complexity and not take a side? How do we not spend our time in indulgence or rage?Maggie talked about how this time of year normally is so packed full with things that distract us from being present. And even with those activities and events being stripped away, we are still finding ways to distract ourselves and keep ourselves out of our bodies because the discomfort and disruption of life right now is so unbearable.There is such tension in the grief around hope -- the fact that like Dan said, the greatest weapon against evil is this baby Jesus. So even with hope coming, it still feels like there is more waiting, both in this season at Christmas and in COVID. Dan says, “There is just a fundamental hatred of having to wait.” The reality of waiting triggers in us deep fear and entitlement. The ache and tension of advent is “He's come!” and “When are you going to put all things right again? How much longer?”He says we have seen that for centuries, thousands of years if we look at Hebrews 11, that we are in a long line of people that can say we have waited, but now the way feels more excruciating. So much has been toppled and yet so much has the prospect of being toppled even more. You cannot find a strong hard place to stand and say “We're okay here.” The waiting has an intensity and it drives us to ask, "How much do I actually believe the gospel?" What comfort does my belief bring? How much longer do I want to labor?What came up for Danielle is around her kids -- "When I have doubts and battles with myself around the gospel, I know my kids are picking up on that, so how do I lead them through this when I'm trying to lead myself?"Dan asks what characters tend to land for you in the [advent] story? He imagines that Mary plays an important role for us as women when we reflect on this season. Dan says he thinks a lot about Joseph and the kinds of doubts  that he must have felt. Joseph's experience was one of trusting in confusion. It is an "I believe!" but also a "help me in the places where I am unbelieving." Will I wait or distract myself? “If you don't wait, the arrival doesn't have much meaning.”Rachael never understood people who opened their Christmas presents early. She said “What's the point? You're ruining the whole thing. You just released the tension and everything we've been building is game over.”  But she asks, "Is there permission in the waiting to seek comfort?" What's the difference between distraction, numbing, and dissociation and actual comfort and presence that isn't a denial of the grief and sorrow of this present reality?  Even in the waiting and the agony, you are not bound to cruelty. Dan suggests that her holding the packages and pondering what's in them is the intersection of arousal, anticipation and self-soothing. It was a source of comfort.Maggie adds on to what Rachael said about ruining Christmas by opening presents early. She says in some cases the anticipation could be better than what's actually inside. She wonders what could be a comfort right now because letting the kids open their presents early doesn't actually feel like a comfort. How are we building anticipation without all the activities and events that we would normally do as a family that lead up to Christmas? Danielle says sometimes it's baking cookies and leaving all the mess in the kitchen.  "It's odd the things we find comfort in and what soothes ourselves or helps us to soothe one another." ----Rachael is reading: When Narcissism Comes to Church: Healing Your Community From Emotional and Spiritual Abuse by Chuck DeGroatBraiding Sweetgrass: Indigenous Wisdom, Scientific Knowledge and the Teachings of Plants by Robin Wall KimmererA Sky Beyond the Storm (An Ember in the Ashes) by Sabaa TahirRachael is listening to: Christmas Jazz, and she will not apologize for it. 80s Power BalladsRachael is inspired by:When she encounters acts of kindness by people in December 2020.  Offering goodness right now and showing her what we are still capable of. Dan is reading: A new book he is writing with Cathy Loerzel.The Jews of Hungary: History, Culture, Psychology by Raphael Patai Dan is listening to: Lake Street Dive by Rachel PriceDan is inspired by:Being known and delighted in by his grandkidsYou can listen to them on The Allender Center PodcastFollow the Allender Center on Instagram @theallendercenter

“I think we radically need to rethink how we imagine leadership.” -Cathy Loerzel, Executive Vice President   In their final conversation about archetypes within the kingdom of God, Dan, Cathy, and Rachael unpack what it means to be a widow or widower, and how one can become a thriving king or queen. What are the wounds that impact a king or queen, what does true leadership look like, and how does a king or queen bring order to God's kingdom?

“Stories are what change the human heart.” - Cathy Loerzel   This week, Dan, Rachael, and Cathy take a deep dive into and further reflect on the archetype of priest. What is required for a priest to grow in their ability to do what priests are meant to do? In this episode, you'll hear our hosts and Cathy talk about the importance of archetypal thinking, how the archetype of an “orphan” relates to the calling of a priest archetype, and the process by which an orphan is transformed.

In this episode of the podcast, Dan and Rachael are joined by Cathy Loerzel, Executive Vice President of The Allender Center, to begin a conversation about a particular aspect of The Allender Theory: prophet, priest, and king/queen. During the conversation, they invite you into each of these three categories and to consider what it means to have been given a kingdom in which you are a priest, prophet, and king/queen. Listen to a podcast series with Cathy Loerzel about “The Complexities in Leadership” Listen to Dan and Rachael talk about “The Particulars of Spiritual Abuse” on the podcast

Rachael Clinton Chen and Dr. Dan Allender continue their conversation about authority, this week diving into who we're meant to trust and submit to in a healthy, biblical way that leads to our flourishing.  To begin the episode, Dan reads from Romans 13, a passage often referenced in conjunction with the topic of authority. Both Rachael and Dan acknowledge they are in complex waters and that the words “submission” and “obedience” can be triggering for many listeners due to the misuse and violence done by those in positions of authority.  What authority, then, are we to submit to? The phrase Paul uses implies a “quality superior,” not all authority, Dan notes, but someone who bears a kind of qualitative goodness—a likeness to the goodness of God. Jesus authorizes others for the sake of addressing the brokenness in the world, extending a sense of empowerment, dignity, and call to life. People who are authorized by God typically do not have to tell others they have authority, Rachael says, as it is gained through respect, participation, service, and honor.  The series will conclude next week as Dan and Rachael will address the questions: What is submission, what does it mean to interact with those in authority?    Listener Resources: If you are interested in learning more about the topics mentioned in this podcast: Listen to our most recent series about Attachment and Relationships Listen to a podcast episode about Suspicion and Loyalty in Spiritual Abuse Listen to our podcast series featuring Cathy Loerzel on Complexities in Leadership

Rachael Clinton Chen leads an open and honest conversation with Cathy Loerzel and Christy Bauman about what they wish other women knew about women's sexuality.

Dr. Dan Allender and Rachael Clinton Chen are joined by guests Cathy Loerzel and Christy Bauman to have a vulnerable discussion about what women wish men knew about women's sexuality.

In this episode of the podcast, Dan is joined by Cathy Loerzel, Executive Vice President of The Allender Center, to talk about the realities and complexities of being a leader. Dan believes that people who are good leaders are also reluctant leaders, a th

Dan Allender and Cathy Loerzel continue their conversation about The Tale, a stunning new film that raises crucial questions about arousal, contempt, and the necessity of telling our stories of trauma and abuse.

Dan Allender and Cathy Loerzel talk about The Tale, a fiercely important new film from HBO that is a vital addition to ongoing conversations about childhood sexual abuse.

This week, Dan Allender, Cathy Loerzel, and Rachael Clinton conclude their conversation about our upcoming online course, Story Sage. As they continue wrestling with what it means to engage stories with boldness and care, they begin to explore what might be the most volatile and dangerous terrain in this work: family of origin.

This week, Dan Allender, Cathy Loerzel, and Rachael Clinton continue their conversation about what it means to enter the stories of others with curiosity, attunement, and care. As we gear up for our new Story Sage online course, we're inviting you to consider how you might develop the capacity to enter stories of harm and heartache for the sake of healing.

This week, Dan talks with Cathy Loerzel and Rachael Clinton about the art of facilitating deep, meaningful conversations that enter into stories of harm and heartache. In an age of disconnection and isolation, how can we enter the stories of others with courage, artistry, and care?

This week, Dan is joined again by Cathy Loerzel and Rachael Clinton to further discuss our Healing the Wounded Heart online course. They particularly review the benefit of a closed Facebook group created for tribe members. The ultimate goal in creating the tribe option was to ensure that participants would not have to move through the course alone and would benefit from processing with others along the way. This added option has truly brought increased engagement with the material, and we hope very much that you can join us for our upcoming semester tribe!

This week, Dan is joined by Cathy Loerzel and Rachael Clinton. The three discuss the importance of community in the healing process and reflect upon ways in which community has benefited past “semester tribe” participants in our Healing the Wounded Heart online course. They take time to review three specific groups of people who would benefit from this kind of community experience and outline what participants gain as a result of hearing others' stories and letting their own stories be known.

This week on The Allender Center Podcast, Dan continues the “Training Wounded Healers” series all about our signature Training Certificate, a year-long program that guides individuals through engagement with their own stories of harm and trauma for the sake of learning to offer healing and restoration in the stories of others. Here, Dan is joined by Cathy Loerzel, MA, co-founder and Executive Director of The Allender Center, and Rachael Clinton, MDiv, a pastor, certificate facilitator, and member of our Teaching Staff. Cathy and Rachael are also graduates of The Seattle School of Theology & Psychology.