Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You

Welcome back to Sh*t Your Teenagers Won't Tell You, the season 3 teaser episode! This season is going to be amazing, as we continue to bring you educational, yet entertaining, content. If you've got topics you'd like to hear more about, get in contact with us so that we can bring you what you want to hear! Buckle down and get ready for another great season!  Key Points From This Episode: [0:00:00] Intro to Sh*t Your Teenagers Won't Tell You Season 3 Teaser. [0:01:00] Season 3 and why it's going to be dope! [0:01:30] What to expect in season 3. [0:01:50] Who we've scheduled for this season so far. [0:03:09] Share our podcast so that we can keep growing our audience! [0:03:46] A request for the audience to let us know what topics to address. [0:04:11] We welcome feedback, so get in contact!   Quotes:   “Season three is going to be dope!” — Sh*t Your Teenagers Won't Tell You [0:01:02]   “This season we are super excited because we are bringing on some of our fancy pants admissions office friends.” — Cathy Chen [0:01:26]   “Let us know what you want to learn more about! If there's some topic we haven't covered in our three seasons that you are super curious about — odds are we can talk about or know someone who can talk about it!” — Meredith Herrera [0:03:46]   Links Mentioned in Today's Episode: Brene Brown Sh*t Your Teenagers Won't Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won't Tell You on Instagram

Welcome to the last episode of season two! Our topic for this week's episode focuses on how to cultivate and promote your child's wellness during the summer. And perhaps, while you are at it, how to cultivate your own wellness as a parent, too! We are excited to share some practical realities that can help drive decision-making for the summertime. We kick off with thoughts on the role of summer, the ideal ways to spend it, and a quick what not to do. We further dive into subtopics like the importance of balance, how family values play a role in choosing summertime activities, and why Cathy thinks getting your teenagers outside is imperative! We again touch on why getting kids out of their comfort zone and doing hard things is vital to their sense of self and their future and why a summer job is absolutely not lame. Tune in to hear why we think exposing your kids to differences and the reality of the real world can help set them up for success throughout their lives. Enjoy this last episode; we are excited to be back with more great topics for season three! Key Points From This Episode: [0:01:30] We introduce this week's topic: cultivating wellness. [0:01:57] Meredith shares her thoughts on the role of summer. [0:02:30] The ideal way to spend summer; play. [0:03:30] A quick what not to do: Cathy calls BS. [0:04:44] We make the distinction between the 8th and 12th graders. [0:05:20] The importance of balancing out the scale. [0:05:43] What Meredith would do as a parent of a teenager going into summer. [0:06:25] How family values play a role in planning for summer. [0:07:30] Choosing activities for summer and what to take into consideration. [0:08:40] Why Cathy loves it when kids go to outdoor camps during summer. [0:11:20] Experiencing awe and its impact on mental health. [0:12:30] Take your teenagers to a garden (and get them gardening). [0:13:00] Summer should be restorative; our brains need to rest. [0:15:15] Animals and learning to care for something; learning about a sense of self. [0:16:45] Cathy's advice to parents wondering what their kids should do for the summer. [0:18:00] Thoughts on adolescents being wired to be self-centered. [0:19:15] Meaningful memories and what they often end up being for teenagers. [0:21:00] The importance of doing hard things. [0:22:05] What to tell the kids (and their parents) who just aren't motivated. [0:25:23] Pulling the parent card. [0:26:53] Why your kids need to be part of a collective. [0:27:35] A quick aside about allowance. [0:29:00] Why getting a summer job is not lame! [0:30:48] Exposing your kids to differences and the reality of the real world. [0:34:30] Celebrating different communities and experiences. [0:35:45] Experiencing joy by pushing through discomfort (and potentially yucky stuff). [0:39:00] Get your kids dirty and teach them to fix things. [0:40:45] Have unstructured but connected fun as a family! [0:43:20] Our hope for you and your family this summer. [0:43:45] A Thanks from us to you! Links Mentioned in Today's Episode: National Outdoor Leadership School (NOLS) REI Outward Bound Sh*t Your Teenagers Won't Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won't Tell You on Instagram

Deciding when to grant your child the coveted keys to the digital kingdom is a deeply personal choice influenced by a multitude of factors, ranging from age and maturity level to the unique needs and circumstances of your own family. But how can you determine the right time for your child to step into the realm of smartphones? And if you do take the leap, what rules and boundaries should you establish? In this episode, we delve into the intricate landscape of parental decision-making regarding smartphones. We dissect the ins and outs of parental control mechanisms, explore effective strategies to maintain a healthy balance of freedom and guidance in this digital age, and discuss how to cultivate a broader sense of responsibility. Through insightful research and expert opinions, we shed light on how social connections can flourish beyond the screen, emphasizing the significance of offline interactions and cultivating a well-rounded social foundation. Discover practical tips and actionable strategies to help navigate the smartphone conundrum with confidence, ensuring your child's digital journey is positive and balanced. Tune in now! Key Points From This Episode: [0:01:20] Outline of today's topic and what listeners can expect. [0:02:38] Whether other parents establish rules for using devices. [0:03:35] How many hours kids generally spend on their smart devices. [0:05:24] We unpack when it is appropriate to give your child a smartphone. [0:08:00] Insights from an interesting study on the topic. [0:08:58] Being honest about why your child wants a cellphone. [0:11:00] Factors to consider when evaluating your child's readiness for a cellphone. [0:13:58] How to assess your child's maturity effectively. [0:19:03] The obvious signs that your child should not have access to a cellphone. [0:22:15] Examples of rules that parents can implement regarding smart devices. [0:27:10] An overview of the negative impacts a cellphone may have on your child. [0:30:25] Hear how parents can set an example for responsible cellphone use. [0:32:35] Overview of the pros and cons of parental controls. [0:33:40] Important conversations parents should be having with kids. [0:35:50] Why is it vital that your child understands what goes on the internet stays forever. [0:40:25] A helpful resource you can leverage as a parent. Links Mentioned in Today's Episode: Common Sense Media  Sh*t Your Teenagers Won't Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won't Tell You on Instagram

If it were just that simple — ticking the boxes and doing “the right things”  — we would package it up and sell it (for a helluva lot of money). But it's not. To be a competitive option for college admissions, your kids must do the hard stuff, get out of their comfort zone, develop themselves personally, and do difficult things (things they don't necessarily want to do!) Today we eagerly share our thoughts and reflections on the 2022 admissions cycle. We won't be offering facts and figures, instead, we offer you what we saw with the group of students, and their families, that we worked with this year last year. We touch on trends, themes, and takeaways that continue to be true. Join us as we get into it.    Links Mentioned in Today's Episode: Novia Maia Learning Arthur Brooks Sh*t Your Teenagers Won't Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won't Tell You on Instagram

In this week's episode, we broach the topic of raising queer kids with our friend Suzi Nam who is part of the Napier Executive Search team, a Leadership Development Coach, and a DEI Consultant. This is a timely topic because queer kids are currently in the midst of a mental health crisis, and as parents, teachers, educators, and administrators, we need to be clued up on how to support them. Join the conversation to hear about Suzi's experience of raising two queer kids (including what it was like when they came out to her and her husband and the different challenges and obstacles they have so far encountered), and the different types of support that are so essential. This is a jam-packed episode, filled with valuable advice for parents who may be going through a similar experience. You don't want to miss out on this incredibly insightful conversation, so tune in now!  Key Points From This Episode: [0:01:30] We introduce the topic of this week's episode. [0:02:10] Why we need to be educated on how to support queer kids. [0:02:40] Suzi talks about how awesome it is to have two queer kids. [0:06:13] Defining the term queer. [0:07:20] The definition of cis-gender. [0:07:40] What it was like for Suzi when her kids came out as queer. [0:13:30] Where trans parents are often challenged. [0:14:30] Important things parents of trans and queer kids need to be aware of. [0:15:20] Suzi's husband's experience of coming to terms with their children's queerness. [0:17:12] The ultimate parental goal: living an authentic life. [0:19:45] The challenge of not understanding the differences between cis parents and their queer kids. [0:21:20] Suzi shares the challenging parts of parenting queer children. [0:22:24] The duality that parents of queer and trans kids live with. [0:23:25] The importance of establishing ‘scaffolding' as a parent of queer kids. [0:26:40] Important aspects to look out for in school environments as a parent of queer kids. [0:27:14] Equitable policies that are set in writing. [0:29:48] The culture at school and how teachers interact with kids. [0:34:20] The importance of combining experience with policy in schools. [0:37:35] The importance of preparing kids with skills and knowledge for life. Links Mentioned in Today's Episode Suzi Nam on LinkedIn Challenge Success Sh*t Your Teenagers Won't Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won't Tell You on Instagram

In the wake of the dreaded college admissions results, and considering their three percent admission rate, we want to tell parents to stop putting their eggs in those baskets and focus on what comes after college! Today, we will drop a few truth bombs about the difficulties of getting into prestigious colleges and why it is not the end of the world if your teenagers don't. Tuning in, you'll hear all about why you need to encourage your children to think beyond college, mistakes parents make in their lack of objectivity during this process as well as not developing with the times, and why there needs to be a mindset shift around college and success in general. Teenagers often feel very despondent and demotivated when they don't get the news they want when college admissions are announced and in this episode, we delve into how that feeling of failure can be avoided and managed before discussing the dangers of forcing your child into a narrow definition of success. Lastly, we explain why we are so inspired by teenagers who have experienced real hardship and why we all need a little bit of perspective. So to find out what to do when your child doesn't get into the college of their choice and to get a bit of insight into the importance of having conversations around values, tune in now! Key Points From This Episode: [0:01:23] The importance of teaching teens to think beyond merely just getting into college.  [0:03:52] Where our opinions on this subject come from; belief/ideology and education. [0:04:51] Why the reality of the admissions is hard for parents to grasp and why they aren't objective. [0:06:03] The dangers of treating college applications the same as parents did their own. [0:08:01] Why we need to change our mindset about college and the definition of success. [0:15:03] How to avoid the feeling of failure when a teen doesn't get the college news they want. [0:15:55] Why forcing your child into a narrow definition of success is detrimental. [0:24:34] Why we should highlight those who have struggled as models for success. [0:25:09] What this comes down to and how to move the focus from achievement: values.  [0:30:40] A reminder to parents to get perspective and to prepare their teenagers for life better. Links Mentioned in Today's Episode: Stanford University Sh*t Your Teenagers Won't Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won't Tell You on Instagram

Buckle up people, we've got another exciting episode for you! Today, we are talking about pressure versus expectation. A question often brought up by parents in our coaching sessions is, “Am I putting too much pressure on my kid?” Join us as we dive into a discussion about the tension between applying pressure versus expectation, and what that looks like. We go through a few real-life scenarios of parents and children and talk about some important points behind the motivation of the pressure. Then, we delve into the importance of encouragement and setting healthy expectations, how it may actually be beneficial to your kid, and why it's important that parents incorporate mindfulness, self-reflection, and revisiting in their parenting. If you want to learn more about whether it's a lack of your child's willpower or maybe some deeper issues, tune in for some great advice. And remember, be easy and gentle with yourselves, parents, as you walk the tightrope between pressure and healthy expectations, and remember, it's okay to make mistakes.    Key Points From This Episode:   [0:00:54] An introduction to our topic for today. [0:02:00] A question parents often ask regarding pressure! [0:02:30] The quadrant chart for applying pressure. [0:05:00] Thoughts on the scenario Cathy shares regarding pressure. [0:06:30] We question the different motivations behind “applying pressure”. [0:08:20] Meredith shares a situation from her coaching. [0:10:00] Encouragement versus pressure. [0:11:08] Discerning when to encourage your children. [0:11:40] Why the frame [of the pressure] is important. [0:12:35] What bugs Meredith about the concept of parental pressure. [0:14:40] Why parental expectation might actually be beneficial for children. [0:17:45] What secure attachment in adolescence looks like: attainment. [0:19:20] When family values can become a guide for children. [0:20:30] The importance of mindfulness, self-reflection, and revisiting in parenting. [0:24:10] Exploring the trust piece and why it's key when working with teenagers. [0:24:30] Cathy shares another scenario from her coaching regarding parental pressure. [0:27:25] What research shows about pressure combined with zero agency. [0:28:20] Meredith shares her thoughts on Cathy's second scenario. [0:31:10] Cathy's suggestion to the parents of the second scenario. [0:33:40] Finding intermediary steps in the scenario. [0:35:20] Tips on managing stress and anxiety (as it relates). [0:35:40] How culture can play a role in certain situations. [0:37:00] Meredith shares another scenario; therapy and culture.  [0:40:30] Too much pressure and not enough clarity around expectations. [0:41:07] Why it's important for parents to have, and seek out, support around them. [0:45:00] Why bringing compassion is so important, to everyone. [0:45:15] Keep your eye on the long-term prize, it's not a straight line. [0:46:55] Meredith shares an interesting article about meaning and purpose. [0:48:36] The big takeaway from today. Links Mentioned in Today's Episode: 'How Smart People Can Stop Being Miserable' Man's Search For Meaning Sh*t Your Teenagers Won't Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won't Tell You on Instagram

College admissions are right around the corner, so today we have invited a special guest (and one of our favorite parents) to talk about her experience of supporting her kids through the process. Margot has a daughter who is happily attending college after much anxiety, and a son who is in the thick of the admissions process. In this episode, she compares her two children's respective college processes and shares advice for parenting two drastically different individuals. We talk about how one's college process does not define them and how to gently impart that belief system to high-achieving kids. Margot opens up about how she supports her kids through hardships and disappointments and shares her profound takeaways from her daughter's admissions process about our societal career trajectory as a whole. Tune in to find out, from a parent's perspective, how (and why) to demonstrate confidence in your kid, and where the focus should lie ahead of college decisions. Key Points From This Episode: [0:00:51] Introducing one of our favorite parents, Margot. [0:02:27] Today's topic: the college admissions process from a parent's perspective. [0:02:44] The atmosphere at home ahead of the college process. [0:03:36] Margot compares her two children's respective college admissions processes. [0:05:28] Her advice for parents whose kids feel their college process defines them. [0:07:08] The challenge for high-achieving kids aiming for colleges with a high rejection rate. [0:09:17] How Margot supports her kids through hardships and disappointments. [0:14:04] The challenge of raising two very different kids. [0:16:33] Why it's important to demonstrate confidence in your teen's ability. [0:21:44] Margot's profound takeaways from her daughter's college process. [0:28:00] The options available outside of the traditional education path. [0:29:32] The important questions to ask kids ahead of college decisions. [0:33:23] Pressure versus expectation. Links Mentioned in Today's Episode: Sh*t Your Teenagers Won't Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won't Tell You on Instagram

In the world of college admissions, there are countless things that make us go “ew” and today, we want to share them with you! We don't want your kid to fall prey to same-kid syndrome and have admissions counselors rolling their eyes at their resume. In this episode, we share our views on service trips abroad, expensive leadership programs, internships, research programs, and more. We share examples of true value add experiences and the circumstances that warrant an exception to our stance on the above-mentioned endeavors. Tune in as we unpack our admissions-related aversions, and find out how your kid can make an impression as a happy consequence of pursuing meaningful experiences! Key Points From This Episode: [0:01:44] Introducing today's topic: college admissions “icks”. [0:03:49] What you'll learn from this episode. [0:04:19] Why we don't endorse service trips abroad. [0:06:30] The circumstances that warrant an exception to our stance on service trips. [0:09:05] Our stance on leadership conferences and expensive programs. [0:11:30] Dos and don'ts when it comes to internships. [0:17:46] Examples of value add experiences. [0:20:05] Our view on research programs for high school kids. [0:24:27] The mental health risk of over-achieving. [0:26:12] The importance of critical thinking when it comes to college application prep! [0:27:17] How to avoid the same-kid syndrome. Links Mentioned in Today's Episode: Race to Nowhere Excellent Sheep Sh*t Your Teenagers Won't Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won't Tell You on Instagram

The teenage years are a turbulent time defined by a need to test boundaries and establish an identity. And this can get pretty messy at times. Most parents of teenagers will know that they can often become snarky, mean, or even hostile. But sometimes it can be difficult to tell whether their behavior is normal, and when there should be cause for concern. Today on the show, we talk about the many ways that teenagers can be mean, the myriad of reasons behind this behavior, and how to deal with these situations as a parent. We discuss the importance of standing up for yourself, how your actions (and reactions) model behavior for your child, and how to de-escalate a tense situation and return to it when at a more neutral time. Our conversation also covers how you might be hurt by your child's words and actions, the importance of being vulnerable with adolescents, and how to teach your child that apologizing does not absolve them of consequences. Today's episode is filled with helpful insights on a complicated subject, and there is no shortage of funny anecdotes and heartfelt reminders that you are not alone in this! Key Points From This Episode: [0:01:17] The question we're exploring today: Why are teenagers mean to their parents? [0:02:09] How teenagers are wired to test their boundaries and why this can result in mean behavior. [0:03:49] The trial and error that happens during adolescence. [0:05:22] Some of the ways that teenagers act out when their basic needs aren't being met. [0:06:36] Recognizing when teenagers are mean due to other external factors in their life. [0:08:43] Why parents can take comfort in the fact that teenagers acting out around them is a sign that they feel safe with you. [0:09:55] Standing up for yourself and setting a good example for your child. [0:13:39] How to recognize when your child may need intervention for their behavior. [0:15:20] Learning how to de-escalate situations and conversations with your teenager. [0:18:52] Advice on the steps you should take when you need to intervene with your child's behavior. [0:20:55] How to step out from an upsetting conversation and return to it at a neutral time. [0:22:13] The value of using non-violent communication. [0:23:09] What it means for adults to be vulnerable with young people. [0:24:51] Teaching your child that apologizing does not absolve them of consequences. Links Mentioned in Today's Episode: Sh*t Your Teenagers Won't Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won't Tell You on Instagram

College counseling and the college process can be daunting as a parent to a teenager. So what are the things you need to know as you begin to prepare to send your kid off to college? In this episode, we dive into what you won't get in your hour-long junior college counseling meeting! Cathy and Meredith take us through the importance of being well-versed in context. How context plays a role in the college selection and admissions process and why you need to take both the volume of applicants and the competitive nature of admissions into account. We drop some truth bombs, talk about different admission software, and take a dip into course selection and extracurricular truths. This episode is jam-packed, so buckle up! It's also so important to take heart, and recognize that there are thousands of four-year institutions in this country at different levels of selectivity and that you need to fit your kid into where they will be successful — where they feel they can thrive academically, emotionally, and socially. Don't forget that there are a lot of really wonderful options out there! Key Points From This Episode: [0:01:28] An introduction to our topic for today's episode. [0:03:20] Stuff to know about the college process. [0:03:35] The importance of knowing context. [0:04:44] The role context plays in your list of schools. [0:05:20] We talk about the appreciation of the volume of students applying. [0:06:00] The appreciation of the competitive nature of different schools. [0:07:45] Meredith drops a grade-related truth bomb. [0:08:32] Why it can be helpful to ask about grades/GPA/admission history. [0:09:08] Software parents might not be aware of used by high schools (for context). [0:10:30] Data is available, publicly, for context. [0:11:11] Course selection; what's expected and what's important. [0:13:45] Factors that affect your profile as it relates to course selection. [0:14:30] Why you need four years of everything. [0:14:53] Pursuing progressively more rigorous curriculum. [0:16:25] The role of extracurriculars, why it's important, and how to choose them. [0:17:23] Why ten activities over the course of four years. [0:19:07] Why a light extracurricular schedule won't fly at highly selective admission. [0:19:48] The importance of finding the right calibration for your child. [0:20:00] We talk about fit and all the possible options for college. [0:22:00] Thinking about financial (aid) options as part of the college journey. [0:22:30] Why it's important to educate yourself on the scope of options. [0:23:23] Why you need to go get a FISKE guide. [0:24:19] Start college visits early. [0:24:45] Some resources we recommend. [0:25:00] Take heart and recognize there are thousands of great options out there! Links Mentioned in Today's Episode: Noviance Maia Learning Scoir  Course Selection Episode Extracurriculars Episode FISKE Guide 2024 Corsava Colleges That Change Lives CTCL College Fairs Sh*t Your Teenagers Won't Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won't Tell You on Instagram

How often do you find yourself thinking of ways to help your teenager get organized, keep their space clean, and have better time management? Cathy Chen and Meredith Herrera are here to offer five key strategies that all teens should use and how you can help them do it. Despite feeling seemingly obvious to adults it is important to emphasize why being organized matters, and Cathy and Meredith give some tips on how to help teens see and understand this. You will hear about all the important times of the day for teens and how to best maximize organization in these times. From using a google calendar, creating a good routine, the importance of consistency, making time real, and buying the real-deal alarm clock, this episode covers it all! Key Points From This Episode: [0:01:13] An introduction to the topic; organization and time management. [0:02:10] Why organization matters. [0:02:31] Routines; what they are, why they matter, and the dos and don'ts. [0:03:15] Effective morning, after-school, evening, and bedtime routines. [0:05:30] Reflecting on a good morning routine. [0:06:29] How to manage your ‘I just got home from school' time. [0:09:40] The importance of keeping track of time and using timers. [0:12:07] How to define an evening routine and how it links to consistency. [0:13:25] How to create an effective bedtime (wind down) routine. [0:16:12] A google calendar; why Cathy and Meredith swear by it. [0:19:50] Things that belong on a calendar. [0:21:25] How to time block and efficiently manage time. [0:23:16] The to-do list and how to tackle it. [0:28:34] Why you should do the hardest thing first. [0:30:13] How Cathy and Meredith manage the resistance from teens they coach. [0:31:20] The importance of the space a teen works in. [0:33:45] How to manage your own bias with how organization looks. [0:35:44] Why you need to limit your distractions. Links Mentioned in Today's Episode: Sh*t Your Teenagers Won't Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won't Tell You on Instagram

Choosing a school for your child can be an incredibly challenging decision to make. One of the top questions we receive is whether or not we would send our own children to the schools we have worked at. We spend today's episode unpacking the considerations we deem most important when searching for the right fit for your child and how to tackle this weighty decision. We share some of the lessons we've learned from our professional experiences, and anchor our conversation in the guiding question of what you value most. Tune in to hear our thoughts on how to get the right support for your child's development based on who you want to see them become. Thanks for listening!  Key Points From This Episode: [0:02:12] Today's topic: the frequently asked question of whether public or private schools are better. [0:04:28] What the conversation ultimately comes down to: values. [0:05:59] A developmental perspective on public versus private.  [0:06:59] Questions to ask yourself to determine which option is best for your child's education. [0:09:16] Differences between the public and private settings. [0:10:05] Support and accommodations at public versus private schools. [0:14:00] Social considerations for public and private education. [0:14:39] The implications of private school hand-holding in tertiary education. [0:16:30] A powerful question for any parent to answer. [0:16:55] Acknowledge that we are using a binary of public and private to talk about the full spectrum of schools. [0:18:44] Trusting in your child's resilience. [0:22:58] Considering the financial aid route in private schooling. [0:27:20] Meredith answers the question of whether she would consider sending her child to one of the schools she has worked at. Links Mentioned in Today's Episode: Sh*t Your Teenagers Won't Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won't Tell You on Instagram

Sometimes we have to learn by doing, but a college application certainly isn't the time for that approach. That's why today, we are sharing common mistakes we see seniors make on college applications all too often. We know our audience, and the mistakes they are susceptible to making. Press play to hear us highlight what we've noticed, what to do instead, and whose guidance to heed along the way. We touch on which schools to apply to, essay tips, and what to make of school rankings before unpacking some essential considerations that will help you to determine which institution is the best fit for your child, and much more today. Thanks for tuning in to another episode!  Key Points From This Episode: [0:01:25] Today's topic: the biggest mistakes that we see seniors make on college applications over and over again.  [0:02:28] The mistake many seniors make by following the advice of their peers.  [0:05:59] Why it is a mistake to apply to too many top schools. [0:10:15] Why a 17-year-old's definition of a good application essay differs from ours. [0:14:07] The mistake of never stopping to offer an explanation, and offering a list instead. [0:18:02] Why it is a mistake to choose a school based only on name and rank. [0:19:32] How rankings are calculated and why this is often unrelated to the undergraduate experience. [0:20:42] Considerations that help to determine fit. [0:21:29] Why, if you are taking your kids to see schools, you should include less selective colleges. [0:26:41] The number one biggest mistake we have seen kids make in their applications. [0:28:13] How early to begin completing your application process.   Links Mentioned in Today's Episode: Sh*t Your Teenagers Won't Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won't Tell You on Instagram

We know how difficult it can be to navigate your highly emotional, sometimes nasty, boundary-testing teenagers and today on Sh*t Your Teenagers Won't Tell You, we are unpacking the enigma that is parenting teens. In this episode, you will hear our top tips for parenting teens, ranging from finding the balance between giving them independence and still being the parents they so desperately need, to how to handle alcohol and all things taboo. We delve into the dangers of trying to be your child's friend, why teenagers need very strong boundaries, how to model behavior for them at all times, and why they need you to help them learn how to emotionally regulate. It is in the nature of teenagers to push boundaries and we discuss how being too permissive is problematic before asking you to fact-check your teens when something sounds strange. Finally, we want to remind you to shower your teens with love! To hear all this and more, tune in now! Key Points From This Episode: [0:00:55] The topic of today's episode: parenting teenagers. [0:01:16] Why teenagers are just dumb adults and how things are changing for them. [0:03:12] The importance of remembering that teenagers are still children and do need you.  [0:04:55] Why you need to be involved in your teenager's life without micromanaging.  [0:06:06] A reminder that you cannot try to be your teenager's friend. [0:08:45] Why teenagers need just as many (if not more) boundaries than younger kids.  [0:11:35] How being too permissive is more dangerous than being too strict. [0:13:25] The importance of having open conversations with your teenagers.  [0:16:04] How modeling respect can help them learn how to have healthy relationships.  [0:16:55] Why you should not believe everything your teenager says.  [0:19:00] The importance of helping your teenagers learn to emotionally regulate.  [0:21:41] Why we must protect them from dangers when they experiment with risky behavior.  [0:26:35] A reminder that supplying teenagers with alcohol is against the law.  [0:29:51] Why talking about serious things makes them less taboo and demystifies them.  [0:30:56] Why we want you to overwhelm teens with love, and physical and emotional affection.  Links Mentioned in Today's Episode: Adolescent Development 101 Episode Let's Talk About Sex Babyyyy with Justine Fonte Episode  Sh*t Your Teenagers Won't Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won't Tell You on Instagram

Extracurricular activities are a huge component of healthy development for teens. In this episode, we discuss the vast benefits of extracurriculars and how to approach the topic with your kids. You'll hear our thoughts on the demands of sports commitments and whether some extracurriculars are better than others. If you're wondering what colleges are really looking for in terms of extracurriculars and community service, you've come to the right place. Tune in to find out everything you need to know about the role of extracurricular activities in your child's life. Key Points From This Episode: [0:01:45] Introducing today's topic: all things extracurricular activities. [0:02:26] How you should/shouldn't approach picking extracurriculars. [0:03:14] Why extracurricular activities are important. [0:06:05] Our take on whether some extracurriculars are better than others. [0:10:23] Why it's important not to overload your child's schedule. [0:11:41] Our thoughts on the demands of sports commitments. [0:16:16] Why we encourage diversity of exposure when it comes to extracurriculars. [0:16:48] The benefits of kids getting jobs. [0:17:16] What colleges are looking for regarding your extracurricular choices. [0:20:36] How to encourage kids to commit to an extracurricular activity. [0:23:58] The recommended approach if your kids are into video games. [0:28:14] Whether or not colleges require candidates to do community service. Links Mentioned in Today's Episode: Sh*t Your Teenagers Won't Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won't Tell You on Instagram

Have you thought of hiring a tutor to help your child at school? If you are a parent, this thought has likely crossed your mind. Most students can cope well in a typical classroom situation, but it does not work for everyone, and some students require a more one-on-one approach. Tutoring can help students build essential learning skills, boost confidence, and increase subject comprehension. To help us unpack the benefits of tutoring is the Senior Director at Hayutin Education, Maya Varga. Hayutin Education offers a wide range of professional, research-based, and one-on-one tutoring services to help children reach their full potential. Maya started as a tutor in the entertainment industry and started her own private practice before joining Hayutin Education in 2014. Maya has vast experience in college counseling, homeschool instruction, and executive function skill-building, and specializes in non-traditional education pathways. In this episode, Maya answers all our questions about tutoring. We learn how to assess a student's inventory of skills, key indicators your child would benefit from tutoring support, tailoring the approach to each student, and the value of building learning capacity. We also discuss what aspects to consider when looking for a tutor, how to tell whether tutoring is working, the value of building momentum, why tutoring does not get results overnight, and the importance of a support network. We also uncover why tutoring is not the silver bullet parents think it is, the benefits of independent learning, why the physical and mental health of a student is vital, and much more! Tune in to discover the power of tutoring with education expert Maya Varga! Key Points From This Episode: [0:00:45] Introduction and background about today's guest, Maya Varga. [0:03:34] How Maya helps parents determine if their child could benefit from a tutor. [0:05:58] She unpacks what she means by good skills and routines. [0:08:28] Maya shares advice for finding the right tutor for your child. [0:10:56] What parents are committing to when they hire a tutor. [0:12:07] The role of a tutor and why tutors are not “homework nannies”. [0:13:22] What indicates that a student does not need further tutoring support. [0:15:08] Ways to motivate students to complete homework and tasks. [0:17:59] Discover what parents can do to help their child be successful. [0:20:39] Her approach to parents who are skeptical of the tutoring process. [0:25:18] Find out when homeschooling is appropriate for a child. [0:28:55] Maya shares some best practices for students and parents. Links Mentioned in Today's Episode:   Maya Varga on LinkedIn Hayutin Education  Sh*t Your Teenagers Won't Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won't Tell You on Instagram

It's nearing the time when students start to hear back from early decision (ED) and early action (EA) schools. In this timely episode, we're covering the ins and outs of the ED/EA admissions process from the expected timeline for hearing back from schools to the appropriate actions for each potential outcome. We delve into the pros of early action schools and the cons of the third less common early admission option: restrictive/single choice early action. You'll discover all the potential outcomes and what to do (and not to do) in the case of each outcome. If your child is a senior in the early decision/ early action process, you've come to the right place. Tune in for advice and action items you can put in place to keep calm in this stressful time. Key Points From This Episode: [0:00:44] Today's topic: hearing back from early decision (ED) and early action (EA) schools. [0:01:40] The expected timeline for hearing back from schools. [0:02:43] A breakdown of ED and EA admission options. [0:04:16] A third less common early admission option: restrictive/single choice early action. [0:05:06] The pros of early action schools. [0:06:00] Examples of early application outcomes. [0:08:29] How to prepare for a denied admission and what to do if denied. [0:12:20] What application deferrals are and the various kinds to expect. [0:14:23] An example of a courtesy deferral. [0:15:42] Insight into enrollment management. [0:17:06] Our take on the standard practice of writing a Letter of Continued Interest (LOCI) post-deferral. [0:19:44] The role of the admission counselor at this time of year. [0:21:12] Things to do once you have an outcome. [0:24:21] The students' and parents' respective roles in the application and admissions process. [0:27:54] Appropriate parent behavior when children are accepted or denied. Links Mentioned in Today's Episode: Sh*t Your Teenagers Won't Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won't Tell You on Instagram

After visiting 700 college campuses, it's safe to say that today's guest, Diane Campbell, is an expert in this area! The college application and admission process is different to what it used to be, and this requires a mindset shift of the parents who have children in high school. In today's episode, Diane shares advice on how to navigate college counseling during high school, why it's never too late to visit a college counselor (yes, even if you're a senior), her thoughts on IECs, and the dreaded “gap trap.” College applications can be complicated and confusing and as a parent, it's your responsibility to guide your child while also offering them independence. Tune in today to hear it all from the Director of College Counseling at Liberty Common High School and the founder of Campbell College Consulting.    Key Points From This Episode:   [0:01:29] Introducing today's guest, Diane Campbell.  [0:06:10] Advice for getting the most value out of your child's school's counseling department.  [0:10:42] Differentiating between different types of counselors. [0:11:25] Challenges of navigating the public school system.  [0:13:20] Why it's never too late to visit a college counselor. [0:16:23] The importance of finding a healthy balance between guiding students and giving them their independence. [0:20:00] Diane shares her thoughts on IECs. [0:27:55] Parental attitudes that bother Diane. [0:32:17] The mindset shift relating to college applications that is required. [0:33:58] Exploring the concept of the “gap trap.” [0:38:26] A few of Diane's favorite hidden-gem colleges.  Links Mentioned in Today's Episode: Campbell College Consulting Diane Campbell on LinkedIn Sh*t Your Teenagers Won't Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won't Tell You on Instagram

A college education is the foundation for success and is essential to start the life you want. However, the costs associated with acquiring quality qualifications exclude many from pursuing their ambitions. What if there was a more affordable solution? In today's episode, we speak to Niamh Kavanagh about the benefits of studying in Ireland and why it should be a consideration for any student wanting to pursue a college degree. Niamh is an International Recruitment Officer and Regional Manager of North & South America at the University of Limerick. She has worked on various national and international marketing campaigns and managed projects in countries around the world, affording her the experience and skills needed to be a success as an international recruiter. In our conversation, we discuss the benefits of studying in Ireland and what students can expect from attending an Irish university. We learn about the main differences between Irish and American universities, the culture shock many international students experience, and the benefits of the compulsory work experience required by Irish universities. Niamh also provides insight into common character traits of potential students and details the support system Limerick University offers for international students. Join us to discover the benefits of studying in Ireland and how to make it happen with special guest, Niamh Kavanagh!   Key Points From This Episode:   [0:00:45] Introduction to today's guest: Niamh Kavanagh. [0:04:11] Background about Niamh and her professional career. [0:06:25] Hear what the benefits are of attending college in Ireland. [0:09:11] A comparison of costs between going to college in America versus Ireland. [0:09:38] Hear about the reputation and transferable skills of the Irish education system. [0:10:19] Learn about the compulsory work experience of Irish Universities. [0:11:40] We discuss the main differences between Irish and American colleges. [0:14:19] The shock that many international students experience regarding grading. [0:15:48] What students can benefit from outside of attending an international university. [0:18:40] Outline of the character traits students need to study abroad. [0:21:54] Why students must make sure the college and course are suitable for them. [0:25:53] Niamh explains the support network offered to homesick students. [0:32:18] She shares a recent experience she had with a student who needed help. [0:35:16] How Niamh is able to relate to international students studying at Limerick University. [0:37:48] Discover what traditional Irish dishes Niamh recommends people should try. Links Mentioned in Today's Episode:   Niamh Kavanagh on LinkedIn University of Limerick Want to Save Money on College? Here's a (Somewhat) Radical Idea Sh*t Your Teenagers Won't Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won't Tell You on Instagram

Welcome to a brand new season of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won't Tell You! We've been thinking about how we can make the SYTWTY Podcast more relevant and valuable to parents, which is why, in season two, we're taking a look at our FAQs. Today, we attempt to answer an age-old question that we commonly receive from parents and students alike: is it better to get an A in a ‘regular' class or a B in an AP/Honors class? The TL;DR answer may seem obvious (objectively, AP classes are better), but there are a number of factors that you need to evaluate when it comes to course selection, the college admissions process, and how it can impact a student's self-worth. Tune in today as we give this FAQ the nuanced consideration it deserves!   Key Points From This Episode:   [0:01:35] An introduction to today's FAQ: Is it better to get a B in AP or an A in regular? [0:02:05] False premises that make this a difficult question to answer. [0:04:00] Important considerations when it comes to college admissions. [0:06:13] Course selection tips for students to make the most of their schedules. [0:08:55] Uncomfortable realities in highly competitive environments. [0:10:35] A follow-up FAQ from parents: how do I know if my kid can handle it? [0:12:30] Advice for trialing a more rigorous schedule. [0:13:44] Why personalized decisions need to be made for each student. [0:16:38] When parents take the process too personally. [0:21:25] Putting your child's health and well-being first. [0:21:50] Opportunities to discuss values and self-worth with your child. [0:23:05] Why it's important to celebrate diverse strengths. [0:27:16] Benefits of choosing the most rigorous curriculum a student can handle. Links Mentioned in Today's Episode:   A College Professor Shares His Best Practices For College Freshman Sh*t Your Teenagers Won't Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won't Tell You on Instagram

When you grow up with social media, it can intensify some of the most overpowering feelings you experience during adolescence, especially when it comes to comparing yourself to others, or feeling like you're constantly being watched. While our guest may not have grown up with Instagram, her High School years saw the introduction of Facebook which undoubtedly heightened feelings of anxiety and comparison. Today on the show we talk with the wonderful Zoë Björnson, whose life and career we've been following with great interest since we first met her as a teenager over a decade ago. Tuning in you'll learn about Zoë's experience of High School and adolescence, her natural sense of curiosity, and how having a growth mindset has shaped her life. In our conversation, Zoë discusses the periods of anxiety and depression she has experienced, why she was not as chill as she seemed in High School, and the advice that she would love to offer her younger, adolescent self, to guide her towards greater self-acceptance. You'll also learn about the company Quilt, where Zoë currently works, a uniquely kind space on the internet, where you can be yourself (plus it's audio-only, so you don't have to worry about how you look all the time!). We had such an amazing time catching up with Zoë and loved hearing her thoughtful insights on transitioning from adolescence to young adulthood. We hope you'll join us for this inspiring conversation with one of our favorite people, Zoë Björnson!     Key Points From This Episode: [0:01:15] Introducing today's awesome guest, Zoë Björnson. [0:02:40] Discover Quilt, an audio-only space on the internet, where Zoë currently works. [0:03:23] Zoë's natural curiosity and her remote year in 2017. [0:05:22] Zoë's experience of Highschool and why she was not as cool and chill as she appeared. [0:06:47] How Zoë has learned to embrace different parts of herself since High School. [0:10:25] What Zoë would like to say to her younger self to help her with self-acceptance. [0:11:04] Zoë shares the traumas experienced as a 16-year-old and how they shifted her identity journey. [0:14:30] The role that Zoë's parent's played in her growth mindset. [0:16:06] Why having outlets other than school or work is crucial to a healthy and happy life. [0:19:16] How Zoë's mom prioritized travel during her teenage years. [0:20:46] Why exposure to uncomfortable situations facilitates growth for a lot of people. [0:22:12] Zoë's advice to parents who are trying to strike the balance between helping their kids achieve while also becoming resilient, well-rounded, adults. [0:26:47] How Zoë feels about having gone to a prestigious prep school like Menlo. [0:29:21] Zoë's experience with depression and how she recovered. [0:32:40] How social media has made our lives so much more about performing than connecting.   Links Mentioned in Today's Episode: Zoë Björnson Zoë Björnson on LinkedIn Quilt Why the Past Ten Years of American Life Have Been Uniquely Stupid Sh*t Your Teenagers Won't Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won't Tell You on Instagram

There have been a number of important changes to testing regulations for college admissions in the last few years, and it is vital that families know what is expected of applicants with regard to SAT and ACT scores. With the increase in the number of schools that no longer require test scores to be submitted, how valuable is it to test at all? In this episode, we delve into the particulars of this question, as we consider how to maximize your child's resources and avoid any potential penalization. The conversation also covers different strategies for preparing for tests, and some of the best practices for improving scores if you do decide to take the tests. We cover some differences between SATs and ACTs and even consider some of the tutoring services that are available for students for upping their numbers. So to get clear on all of these questions, and make sure your child's application is the strongest it can be, press play!   Key Points From This Episode:   [0:03:05] Defining the terms 'test optional' and 'test free' as they relate to college applications. [0:06:17] Common questions about tests and which ones to take. [0:07:35] Weighing the possibility of being penalized for not submitting test scores. [0:10:15] Choosing between SATs and ACTs, and making the most of time and energy. [0:14:13] Balancing the value of testing and other worthwhile uses of a child's resources. [0:16:46] When to start preparing for tests and carving out time in a busy schedule. [0:20:03] Matching the preparation strategy and duration to the child's needs and strengths. [0:23:48] How a regular reading habit can positively impact test scores. [0:25:11] Different types of prep and finding something that best suits your child. [0:30:45] Practical advice for setting aside time for practice tests. [0:34:28] Diminishing returns after a certain amount of repeated tests. [0:36:42] The dangers of guarantees from test tutors.  [0:40:50] Schools that still require testing from their applicants. Links Mentioned in Today's Episode: Sh*t Your Teenagers Won't Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won't Tell You on Instagram

In today's conversation, we share some insights into what colleges are really looking for when assessing applications. While there are both quantitative and qualitative aspects to their measurements, we find that families who are applying can tend to overlook certain important areas that can make all the difference to the success of an application. We go into some detail about the vital ideas of maturity, self-awareness, and self-actualization, and how these can be demonstrated to an admissions board. A helpful idea to keep in mind is that colleges are effectively looking to admit young adults who have taken initiative in their lives and show a level of emotional maturity. Other aspects that we cover in the discussion include the consequences of the choices we make as parents, why letting our children fail is an important piece of the puzzle, the different kinds of support we can offer, and how to exercise our own forms of self-care while helping our children. So join us to catch it all, today!   Key Points From This Episode:   [0:01:13] The prioritization of maturity in college admissions. [0:05:29] Looking beyond the numbers and the transcript. [0:09:40] The importance of children taking on more responsibility at home and care of themselves. [0:12:58] The effects of parents who do too much for their kids. [0:15:02] Issues of motivation and dependence, and creating and maintaining incentives. [0:17:01] Providing proof of the initiative that a young adult has taken in their life. [0:19:58] Accepting the inevitable mistakes that are made when facing challenges. [0:24:17] Developing skills and resilience through facing and dealing with setbacks. [0:26:22] Trusting that things will work themselves out! [0:27:31] Balancing the kinds of thinking that are so common in teenagers. [0:30:00] Final thoughts on what is really meaningful when applications are assessed.   Links Mentioned in Today's Episode:   Sh*t Your Teenagers Won't Tell You Sh*t Your Teenagers Won't Tell You on Instagram

What better way to kick off Season 2 AND National Body Acceptance Week than an episode on raising body-positive teens? In this episode of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won't Tell You, hosts Cathy and Meredith sit down with Wendy Sterling to discuss how diet and nutrition are central to raising healthy teens. Wendy is a Certified Eating Disorder Registered Dietitian and Approved Supervisor through the International Eating Association of Eating Disorder Professionals, and Board Certified Specialist in Sports Dietetics in the Bay Area in California. This episode offers a wealth of information to listeners who are interested in learning more about disordered eating, body image, relationship with food, and nutritional needs during adolescence.  TIMESTAMPS [00:00] Intro [00:59] Introducing special guest, Wendy Sterling [03:19] Let's talk about disordered eating [08:00] How do you approach someone who you suspect may be struggling with disordered eating? [12:31] Nutritional needs during adolescence [19:00] Societal and cultural influences around body image [22:10] The goal is to become awake and aware [26:34] Supplements [30:23] Nutrition for athletes [34:19] Addressing concerns in terms of behavior [37:54] Ending on a snacky note [44:03] Outro LINKS Sterling Nutrition The Plate-by-Plate Approach® Wendy Sterling on IG Books: Raising Body Positive Teens: A Parent's Guide to Diet-Free Living, Exercise and Body Image How to Nourish Your Child Through an Eating Disorder: A Simple, Plate-by-Plate Approach to Reestablishing a Healthy Relationship with Food No Weigh! A Teen's Guide to Body Image, Food, and Emotional Wisdom Herrera Educational Consulting Village Coaches Sh*t Your Teenagers Won't Tell You website

After some well-deserved R&R this summer, we're back for our second season! Congrats on making it through the madness that is the beginning of the school year. Now that you've got your pumpkin spice latte in hand, it's time to sit back and enjoy season two of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won't Tell You where we drop more truth bombs, and answer your most pressing questions about the college admissions process and raising teenagers.  Tune in to this episode to get a sneak peek at what's headed your way!

In the season finale episode of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won't Tell You, hosts Cathy and Meredith speak with special guest, Dr. Albert Herrera, professor of Biological Sciences at USC (and Meredith's dad!). They break down the big differences between academic life during high school and what academic life looks like in college. Dr. Herrera also discusses the importance of time management in college, as well as other aspects of maturity that will help students navigate during their college years.    TIMESTAMPS [00:00] Intro [01:22] Special guest, Dr. Albert Herrera [05:35] Navigating the college academic environment [11:00] Time management is key [15:25] How to foster aspects of maturity in our children [23:30] Common faux pas when interacting with college professors [28:45] College syllabus (or syllabi) [33:52] Help your children seek out experiences that make them think outside of themselves [36:08] Should students do research as undergraduates? [43:53] Sit in the front row [46:40] Learn about the definitions/examples of academic dishonesty [52:35] A heartwarming story [55:20] Final pieces of advice from a college professor [1:01:56] That's a wrap for season 1 [1:05:04] Outro   LINKS Herrera Educational Consulting Village Coaches Sh*t Your Teenagers Won't Tell You website Sample College Syllabus

In this episode of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won't Tell You, hosts Cathy and Meredith talk about the lack of transparency in the college admissions process. What is the ethical responsibility of colleges? How could colleges make the admissions process more student-centered? Cathy and Meredith tackle these questions and more on this episode of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won't Tell You.    TIMESTAMPS [00:00] Intro [01:20] Making the college process more opaque [05:33] Colleges should just own it [06:32] College admissions is crazy [08:29] Are admissions processes student-centered? [12:00] How privilege plays a part [17:14] What is the ethical responsibility of colleges? [22:25] Why not give families information they need to make good decisions? [27:15] Ultimately, it's about young people [38:24] Outro   LINKS Herrera Educational Consulting Village Coaches Sh*t Your Teenagers Won't Tell You website

In this episode of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won't Tell You, hosts Cathy and Meredith discuss how rumors and gossip around the college process are not only counterproductive, but potentially harmful. They stress the importance of having a healthy skepticism and questioning the accuracy and helpfulness of the information you're sharing with your fellow parents.   TIMESTAMPS [00:00] Intro [01:44] Don't listen to your friends [04:30] The rumor mill [11:03] Why is gossip bad? [16:30] Question the helpfulness of the information you're sharing [18:28] Comparison is the thief of joy [20:39] Myth Busting [23:51] Having difficult conversations [30:50] Healthy skepticism [35:17] Outro   LINKS Herrera Educational Consulting Village Coaches Sh*t Your Teenagers Won't Tell You website

In this episode of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won't Tell You, hosts Cathy and Meredith talk about positive psychology. What it is, how it can be used to promote well being in your life and the lives of your children. They also discuss the importance of community, attuning to your character strengths, figuring out what your values are and finding yourself in a state of flow.    TIMESTAMPS [00:00] Intro [03:34] What is Positive Psychology? [13:38] Things we can do to promote well being [19:25] Looking for awe [20:10] The importance of community [27:26] Helping your child attune to their individual character strengths [30:02] What are my values? [31:23] Finding your flow [40:18] Outro   LINKS Herrera Educational Consulting Village Coaches Sh*t Your Teenagers Won't Tell You website UPenn Positive Psychology Center Flourish by Martin Seligman Foundations of Positive Psychology on Coursera Adam Grant Ted Talk on Languishing Personal Values Tool Character Strengths Survey

In this episode of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won't Tell You, hosts Cathy and Meredith talk with Justine Fonte, intersectional health educator, who holds a Masters in Education and Public Health from Columbia University. They get into some real-talk about what parents may not know (or want to know) about adolescent sexual behavior, how to talk to your child about sex, and when to start having those conversations.    TIMESTAMPS [00:00] Intro [01:02] Introducing special guest, Justine Fonte [04:45] What you might not know (or want to) [08:43] Normalize talking about sex with your child [14:00] How to talk about pornography [20:15] Will I encourage sexual behavior if I talk about it with my child? [23:03] Don't be afraid to be human [27:03] The conversation didn't go as planned [30:48] Safety, Affirmation and Joy [34:04] Healthy exploration vs. risky behavior [40:41] In Conclusion [43:15] Foodie recs from Justine [47:00] Outro   LINKS Herrera Educational Consulting Village Coaches Sh*t Your Teenagers Won't Tell You website Justine Fonte Justine's IG Your Friendly Ghostwriter  

In this episode of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won't Tell You, hosts Cathy and Meredith discuss some common parenting missteps, the impact they have on our children and how we can avoid making those same mistakes.    TIMESTAMPS [00:00] Intro [01:09] Parenting pitfalls [02:45] Culture of comparison [12:39] Impulse to fix [13:53] Resist the temptation to gossip [23:53] Stop minimizing/maximizing [29:43] Progress not perfection [34:57] Outro   LINKS Herrera Educational Consulting Village Coaches The Four Agreements Turning Red

In this episode of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won't Tell You, hosts Cathy and Meredith discuss structure and schedules as it relates to our child's lives. What does good structure vs. poor structure look like? How much structure in your child's life is too much? Cathy and Meredith answer these questions and more in this episode.   TIMESTAMPS [00:00] Intro [01:03] Over-scheduled vs. under-structured [02:35] What is your parenting style? [04:45] What does good structure look like? [11:32] Stay consistent [14:30] It's okay to re-evaluate the structure [24:00] What does poor structure look like? [34:08] Strive for a balanced structure [37:10] Additional tips [40:30] Outro LINKS Herrera Educational Consulting Village Coaches Sh*t Your Teenagers Won't Tell You website Personal Values Tool

In this episode of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won't Tell You, hosts Cathy and Meredith interview Cristina Perez, Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Clinical Instructor of the Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at Keck School of Medicine of USC. They discuss mental health red flags, how to approach mental health concerns with your teen, when and how you can intervene, and support resources that parents can be aware of and discuss with their teens. There is so much packed into this episode, you don't want to miss it!   TIMESTAMPS [00:00] Intro [01:54] Introducing Cristina [08:55] Red flags - indicators that something's up [16:25] Approach with curiosity [18:24] Overcoming resistance [26:36] When and how do you intervene?  [30:55] Perfectionism [39:00] Resources to be aware of [47:37] Outro   LINKS Herrera Educational Consulting Village Coaches Sh*t Your Teenagers Won't Tell You website

In this episode of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won't Tell You, hosts Cathy and Meredith talk about the culture around college admissions in addition to the independent college counseling scene and what to watch out for.    TIMESTAMPS [00:00] Intro [01:03] If it seems too good to be true, it probably is [8:49] To thine own self be true [10:55] Culture around college admissions [23:23] Why might you need an independent college counselor? [32:00] Predatory advertising - what to steer clear of! [36:15] What to look for in an independent college counselor 39:43] Outro LINKS Herrera Educational Consulting Village Coaches Sh*t Your Teenagers Won't Tell You website

In this episode of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won't Tell You, hosts Cathy and Meredith get into the mechanics of building a college list. They breakdown what a reach, target and likely are, as well as covering some of the do's and don'ts to keep in mind when building a college list.    TIMESTAMPS [00:00] Intro [00:55] College list mechanics [02:17] Timing for building a list [04:44] How many schools should I apply to? [07:50] Strive for balance [16:47] Be wary of applying to too many selective schools [18:43] Reach, Target, Likely: Breaking it down [24:27] Do's and Don'ts [31:10] Sweet tooth  [34:45] Outro   LINKS Herrera Educational Consulting Village Coaches Sh*t Your Teenagers Won't Tell You website

In this episode of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won't Tell You, hosts Cathy and Meredith discuss college admissions decisions and how to navigate that process with your teen. They talk about strategies for how to support your teen during the process and how to keep things in perspective.   TIMESTAMPS [00:00] Intro [00:50] College admissions decisions [02:03] Receiving new well [07:24] How to be supportive during this process [11:36] How to move past tough decisions [14:47] Keeping things in perspective [17:33] Being thoughtful about the college selection process [24:00] Don't have too many cooks in the kitchen [26:39] Pros and cons list [30:00] What would be a thoughtful way to celebrate? [33:45] Practical things to consider [49:02] Outro   LINKS Herrera Educational Consulting Village Coaches Sh*t Your Teenagers Won't Tell You website Where You Go is Not Who You'll Be

In this episode of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won't Tell You, hosts Cathy and Meredith discuss how to build an effective college list. They also talk about the do's and don'ts of building a college list and how parents can best support their teen during the college process.   TIMESTAMPS [00:00] Intro [01:25] How to build an effective college list [01:43] A cautionary tale [09:30] A hopeful tale [13:30] Do's and Don'ts  [18:00] Where you go doesn't determine who you are [25:00] Rankings are dumb [28:38] Letting go of ego and vanity [32:00] Focus on the big picture [33:19] Let's talk food! What are your staples? [38:43] Outro   LINKS Herrera Educational Consulting Village Coaches Sh*t Your Teenagers Won't Tell You website Where You Go is Not Who You'll Be  

In this episode of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won't Tell You, hosts Cathy and Meredith talk about motivation or the lack thereof. How does procrastination show up? Cathy and Meredith explore some of the reasons behind procrastination and provide parents with strategies to help manage this issue with their teenagers.    TIMESTAMPS [00:00] Intro [1:17] Topic overview: Motivation [02:41] Understanding procrastination and lack of motivation [08:30] Use caution when using labels [10:36] Strategies for parents [15:02] When do you let natural consequences run their course? [21:50] How to grow good humans [24:25] Incentivizing your child [26:52] Keeping things in perspective [31:02] Ending on a sweet note [38:38] Outro   LINKS Herrera Educational Consulting Village Coaches Sh*t Your Teenagers Won't Tell You website

In this episode of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won't Tell You, hosts Cathy and Meredith discuss summer planning. How should your child approach their summer? Should they double down on academics? Should they ‘round' out their resume? Cathy and Meredith share some tried and true answers to the most common questions about summer planning.   TIMESTAMPS [00:00] Intro [01:14] Summer planning [02:12] What should I do this summer? Does it really matter? [5:00] How can you challenge or grow yourself? [6:49] A word on  taking academic classes over the summer [8:26] The pitfalls of over focusing on selective schools instead of fit [11:17] Summers do kind of matter [12:30] Summer is a good time to help teens figure out what's important to them [14:28] I heard that if my child takes this summer program at X university, it will increase their chances of getting in [16:42] What admissions officers are really trying to assess [22:03] How do you approach resistance in your teens to summer planning? [25:10] Encourage your teen's independence when looking at summer opportunities  [28:43] Get out of your comfort zone [32:55] Student voices on their meaningful summer experiences [37:58] Outro   LINKS Herrera Educational Consulting Village Coaches Sh*t Your Teenagers Won't Tell You website

In this episode of Sh*t Your Teenager Won't Tell You, hosts Cathy and Meredith offer some perspective on what it means to be an adolescent. They discuss what it means developmentally and offer advice on what parents can do for their teenagers.   TIMESTAMPS [00:01] Intro [01:26] Would Cathy and Meredith be a teenager again [03:12] What is a teenager [05:57] Brain development [12:01] An important stage of identity construction [16:32] What parents can do when adolescents are difficult [23:12] Support, not rescue [29:15] Be clear about values [34:07] Host's final thoughts [37:39] Outro   LINKS The Values Deck | A Card Sorting Game to Explore Your Personal Values Herrera Educational Consulting Village Coaches Sh*t Your Teenager Won't Tell You website

In this episode of Sh*t Your Teenager Won't Tell You, hosts Cathy and Meredith speak with Yamilet Medina López, Assistant Dean of Admission for Diversity Outreach and External Relations, about the admission process. Yamilet discusses how she helps parents understand the process and how parents can best support their students. She also shares what makes a strong application.   TIMESTAMPS [00:01] Intro [01:00] Meet Yamilet [02:09] What brought her to work in college admission [06:23] How she helps parents understand the admission process [11:23] What characterizes a strong application [17:06] Responding to inequities in the admission process [21:33] Ways parents can best support students through process [26:36] College is not for everyone [35:34] This is a human process [46:55] Host's final thoughts [54:21] Outro   LINKS Operation Varsity Blues: The College Admissions Scandal U.S. News Best Colleges Malcolm Gladwell's Revisionist History: Project Dillard Herrera Educational Consulting Village Coaches Sh*t Your Teenager Won't Tell You website

In the debut episode of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won't Tell You, hosts Cathy and Meredith share what to expect on the podcast, which will discuss all things teen-related and help you become better parents along the way. They explain why they started this resource that pulls back the curtain on what teens are really thinking and why they chose to work with adolescents.    TIMESTAMPS [00:00] Intro [01:17] Why they started this podcast [02:58] About Herrera Educational Consulting [06:26] Why you should listen to the podcast [10:20] Why they chose to work with adolescents [15:23] Main challenges/issues they see the most often [23:46] How they and this podcast can help [27:17] Meredith and Cathy ask each other questions [32:11] What to expect on the podcast [33:08] Outro   LINKS Where You Go Is Not Who You'll Be: An Antidote to the College Admissions Mania by Frank Bruni Herrera Educational Consulting Village Coaches Sh*t Your Teenagers Won't Tell You website

In this episode of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won't Tell You, hosts Cathy and Meredith speak with Sophie Taubman, a current freshman at Wesleyan University. Sophie takes you into the mind of a teenager embarking on the college admissions process. She shares what she was feeling through the process and the advice she would give to the senior version of herself. She also shares her advice to parents.   TIMESTAMPS [00:00] Intro [03:58] Meet Sophie [04:48] Sophie's thinking for the admission process [10:04] Advice to the senior version of herself [15:13] Her thoughts on parents on this process [31:38] College is an adjustment [33:18] Hosts' final thoughts [37:50] Coming up on future episodes [39:14] Outro   LINKS Herrera Educational Consulting Village Coaches Sh*t Your Teenager Won't Tell You website