Podcasts about god yes

Quaranteam - Dave In Dallas: Part 5 Celebration: Some happy moments to cling to. Based on a post by RonanJWilkerson, in 12 parts. Listen to the Podcast at Explicit Novels. October 5th, 2020. Dave and Liv spent the morning getting lumber and gate hardware. Other changes would take much longer to plan, and would need professionals to implement, but today they were putting in a gate between the backyards to facilitate caring for the chickens. And give more play space for Esme and Roscoe. He'd made no move to threaten the chickens. It took over an hour to tear out the boards from the section that would be a gate by the end of the day. Dave worked from Lupie's yard, while Liv worked from Dave's. Both were being careful to preserve the boards that were still in good condition. Those could be reused. If not today, then for another project. As they each pulled boards from the fences, Dave gained a view of Liv as she worked. Granted, he'd seen her working in the yard, or building things before. But back then, she was the young girl he helped guide to adulthood. Now, she was the young beauty that shared his bed in addition to his life. And god was she beautiful. He'd only appreciated her looks in an esoteric sense previously. 'Why yes, Livy is a lovely young lady' in response to another's comment or question. Things had changed. Knowing she'd be fence-building today, Liv had worn a sturdy bra that could keep her; assets from flopping all over the place. But pulling nails and tugging boards loose still had them moving under her denim shirt like two quarreling kittens. Her ass filled the seat of her jeans just right too; not a bubble butt, just nicely curved. Thank God she wore work jeans and not skinny jeans. Dave had enough blood in the wrong place without her jeans clinging to the silhouette of her legs. Man had to get some work done. They'd removed the pickets, trimmed the rails and the kickboard when Dave heard the sliding door. "It's lunch time you two," Lupie called out. "Knock off for a bit. Come in and get a sandwich and a drink." Dave brushed most of the saw dust off as he walked to the house. He kissed Lupie when he got to the door. Lupie returned it, but when he moved to press himself against her, she shoved him away. "Not 'til you've had a shower mister," she demanded. He chuckled. "Yes, dear." She just laughed. Melanie joined them. Her footfalls stopped, briefly, right behind him. Lupie and Liv looked at each other with knowing looks, but he didn't ask them or Mel why. She did have a quick, quiet conversation with Liv and Lupie as Dave headed out to finish. It was a short conversation as Olivia was not far behind. The next few hours were more physically demanding than the morning as Dave and Olivia dug new postholes, mixed cement, then filled the holes and placed the posts. Even so, the hardest part was adjusting the guidelines keeping the posts vertical until the cement set. Constantly adjusting the lengths of each line until the level red true seemed to take more time than all the other work. Now they had to give the cement at least a day to set before hanging the gate. Dave and Olivia secured their tools and left the work area neat before heading in. As Dave pulled back the sliding glass door he was tackled by a mass of flesh that he could tell by feel was female. Well, the only other bodies in the house were ladies, so that helped too. She was also very excited. A flash of red hair as kisses rained on him helped him identify Melanie as his enthusiastic paramour. He had to back pedal a few steps to keep the two of them from falling to the deck. "Get a room, ya slut," Olivia laughed. Melanie finally came up for air. "I don't need a room. Just this hot, sweaty man." She planted her lips firmly on Dave's as her hands sought out the hem of his shirt. She yanked it over his head swiftly, barely pausing her lips in their quest for more Dave. "Seriously? We're doing this right here?" Dave inquired. Mel nodded as she got her hands on Dave's belt. "The Esme rule," Liv interjected. "This isn't the couch." Liv laughed and rolled her eyes. "Lawyers and coders, always looking for the loophole. I think Esme's in the library studying. I'll make sure she stays there for a bit." She pulled the curtain closed after the glass door. Mel slowed her kissing, and moved from Dave's face to his shoulders as she unbuckled his belt and unbuttoned his jeans. She took care to kiss every curve of his modestly defined shoulder muscles. No, more like savored. Dave decided to start evening the score, and grabbed her t-shirt; one of his actually, with the logo "University of Mars"; and pulled it over her head. It made her pause and grin, but barely slowed her progressive kissing down his body and getting his jeans and boxers down to his knees. Mel immediately took him in her mouth, working him to full erection quickly before plunging her head up and down. Satisfied he was at maximum stiffness, she straddled him while pulling the gusset of her shorts and panties aside revealing her already wet slit, her labia flowering outward in readiness. Mel sank herself on to Dave in one motion, letting out a grunt as he filled her. She opened her eyes and lowered her torso to his, kissing fervently as she rocked her hips up and down and rubbing her tits along his chest. Both of them found this quite stimulating. Hands roamed, tongues tangled, lips meshed. They seemed to hit a plateau, until Dave rolled them over. He began thrusting long swift strokes, causing Melanie to moan and lift her legs upward in a 'v' shape. She clutched his back and lifted her pelvis. As his thrusting pace increased Mel's vocalization devolved into happy grunts. Her fingers rotated, digging her nails into him. "Oh! God Yes!" Melanie arched her back, finding her release. A few moments later, Dave cascaded over the cliff with her, triggering a second orgasm in her even as the first had barely descended its peak. Dave held still and Mel clung to him as she shook. He nuzzled the side of her face with his cheek. When her breathing slowed, she grabbed his head and pulled him into a fiery kiss. Mel had an enormous grin as the two separated and began fixing their clothes. October 6, 2020. "Why are you cooking dinner, Dave? I thought it was Mel's night." "She is making the house dinner conejita, but I am taking your mother on a date today. We'll probably be gone through dinner." Esme made a face. "Ew, gross. So you two will be feeding each other little bites and doing other cutesy stuff?" "Probably," Dave chuckled. He scooped out a small portion on the tip of a spoon and held it out for her. Esme gamely took a bite. She swallowed but made a face. "Ew, what was that? Something popped and was bitter, or pickle-y." "Capers. I like 'em. I think your mom might too. I get it if you're not a fan." "Not. Most definitely not." Esme watched as Dave packed the container into a bag with sliced bread, several water bottles, a container of homemade whipped cream, and a box of strawberries from the greenhouse. As Dave stood, re-evaluating his packing, Esme spoke again. "It's not like I don't know what's going on around here. Ya'll get kinda loud sometimes. I know, I know 'I'm too young to talk about these things', but seriously it's a basic part of life as an adult right?" "I won't go sticking my nose in," she continued, "and yeah, I don't want to see it going on, but you don't have to walk on eggshells around me." "Oh, seriously though? We should get more candles or something, 'cuz something about that gets kinda funky afterwards. I've gone into the master bedroom to talk to mom a few times and, Wow dude. I can tell which mornings you get lucky. Or they do." "The way y'all act it's like you're both sure you got more out of it than the other, or more than you deserve or something. At least you're all happy. All though, yeah, sometimes if too many of you are walking around dreamy faced it gets kinda suspense film creepy." "Seriously though? I'm really happy for mom. And Becca. Mom's been lonely for a long time, and Becca spent about half the year looking like her heart had been ripped out. They are way better now than they were. I haven't seen mom this happy in; ever. And Becca is as bouncy happy as she's ever been. So yeah, whatever weird stuff is happening, is fine with me. I'd rather not see it though. Or hear it. Or smell it." After laying out the blanket for the two of them, the first thing Dave pulled out of the basket was an MP3 player. "You could have just used your phone, papi. Why go old school?" "Because this has more memory than my phone mi luz." Lupie chuckled lightly. "Your pronunciation is all wrong." She stepped in closer, their faces inches apart. "But your delivery is all right." They kissed softly, holding each other loosely. The romantic appetizer lasted a minute or so before they settled down to the blanket. Lupie smirked, one eyebrow cocked as Dave adjusted the position of the music player. "Well, it's not like I brought out a Walkman." "Don't you mean a Discman?" "Discman came a decade later. The Walkman was in the eighties, and it used cassettes." "Old man," Lupie smirked. "So I shouldn't tell you about my parents' blue panel van with an eight track player back in the seventies?" Lupie laughed. "Sometimes it's hard to remember you really are that much older than me. But when I do, it's a good thing. I have an appreciation for age and wisdom." She leaned in to plant a warm, lingering kiss on his lips. Dave rolled his eyes. "On a date with a thirty two year old and I'm still robbing the cradle." "Umm, you can rock this cradle all day long, papi," she purred. They bantered for a bit as Dave put together the chicken salad sandwiches, and grew quiet as they ate. Lupie did appreciate the capers, and the celery seed. As they were feeding strawberries to each other (after dipping them into some whipped cream lightly laced with rum) 'Brown-Eyed Girl' came on; the Jimmy Buffett version with steel drums. Dave swayed with the rhythm as he offered a strawberry to Lupie. As it got to the later lyric '; making love in the green grass, behind the stadium with you, my brown-eyed girl; ' Dave wiggled his eyebrows. Lupie giggled at first, then realized he wasn't just being silly. "David, no! Out here, where anyone can see us?!" "Loops, there's a row of tall bushes between us and the path. If someone is out getting some exercise, they'll never know we're here." "You have a way of making me loud, mi amor," Lupie beamed. "Then we'll take it nice and slow, darling," Dave said as he buzzed his lips next to her ear. He took a firm hold of her tit, massaging it just how she liked. Lupie sucked in a breath and closed her eyes. They made out like teenagers before shucking his pants and boxers. Lupie surprised him with the revelation she hadn't worn any panties. She blushed at her own daring. Then they made love. Long, slow, passionate joining of two hearts giving and taking in unison. The sun had set long before they left. The temperature dropped with the sun, but holding each other close and making their own heat, they never noticed. October 8, 2020. Dave was in his office, wrestling with code for his game when Becca came in, with Kareena. He'd left the game on hiatus for a while, with bigger issues to deal with, and a suspicion that an erotic harem post-apocalyptic game may not be interesting any more, between the actual apocalypse happening and the 'addictive sperm' serum now running through women's veins. But, he had started the project, he wanted to finish. "Hey Dave, looks who's here!" Becca announced. Dave looked up and was immediately confused. "Are they waiting for me to come down and sign?" "Oh, no, they said since I was one of your partners, I could sign." "Hello Dave." Kareena's entangled fingers wouldn't stop moving. Her shoulders were rounded, pulled inward and down. Her feet shifted. Her deep brown eyes wouldn't rise above his knees. Dave motioned her to a chair. "You seem worried. Are you sure you want to do this?" "Yes." Her eyes flicked up to his for just a moment, before dropping again. "It's just different from what I'm used to, what I expected for my life for several years. But I want a change. And I was relieved when the match system said we were eighty three percent compatible. I was worried it would be a lot less." Dave motioned for her to take a seat. "So, how are you feeling?" Reena blushed at the implication. "I'm okay. Not antsy like they said would happen, but it hasn't been too terribly long just yet. I mean, I could right now if you want to." She rushed the last sentence out. "It's okay. This is a big step in life, bigger than society made it out to be in the past couple decades." Dave paused for a minute. He caught Becca's eye then cocked his head towards the door. She took the hint and left, pulling the door shut. "It's just the two of us now, face to face, with no one listening. Is there anything you want to say or ask?" Kareena looked at him, looked away, and back. "I don't want to be everybody's salon girl." Dave blinked and nodded his head. While he was waiting for her to continue, he took the time to notice her attire. It hadn't been his instinct in the past, not anything beyond 'That looks nice' in a sincere tone. He'd begun to learn that what a woman was wearing may be a clue to her general intent in a conversation. If in fact, she had dressed for him, and not some other purpose. In this case, it wasn't egotistical to believe Reena had dressed for him. Her orange half shirt played counterpoint to her lovely brown skin balanced between milk chocolate and sienna. Her tits stretched the top to pull ripples into the fabric. below her shirt, her smooth, flat, tummy bore no adornment. Neither did her lovely oval navel. Her jeans rode low on her hips, and were so tight they may well have been painted on. "I know I said I was good with that stuff, and I kinda am, at like, an amateur level, but I don't want to do that all the time. Like, just as a hobby, if something special is happening." She started tearing up as she talked. Dave reached out, taking her hand in his, gently. A gazed at her face until she met his eyes. "I didn't bring you here to do nails and hair a such. I brought you here because as a family, we agreed you would be a welcome addition. We all realize you are young, and still figuring out where you want to fit in the world. We did not expect you to fill in any particular house duty." He brushed a loose lock of raven black hair behind her ear, and received a smile. "When colleges re-open, take a few classes, see what interests you; " "My dad said since I wasn't going to accept an offer from the guy he wanted me to pair with, he was cutting me off. I don't think I'll be taking classes until after I can get a job to build up tuition money." Dave chuckled. "Family sticks together, Kareena. Jan and I both work for the community college, which can get you a tuition discount. Given that they've already forgiven all student loan debt, the government is probably going to fund all tuition, or most of it, going forward. And, well, there are four adults in this household with established careers and we've all been fairly careful with our money. You want college, you can get college." Reena relaxed a bit, but not entirely. "Also, there is a spread of skillsets among us. Sit and talk with each of us. Shadow us while we do our jobs. Get to know our fields of expertise. Well, the remote part anyway. Probably going to be awhile before you can actually go to our places of work, even once we can go back. Odds are, something will sound interesting, if not our exact jobs, something related. Worst case scenario, you learn a lot of what you don't want to do and get to know us more than you might want to." Reena giggled. It made Dave feel better, knowing he could rouse her out of her anxiety. He kept his eyes on her, smiling. Reena shifted in her chair and adjusted her leg position. "Dave?" "Yes?" "I think I'm ready now." Dave blinked for a moment. Two and a half weeks living in the new serum-world and it still took him a bit to register what she meant. "Oh. Um, are you sure?" She nodded. Her breathing was deeper than when she'd come in. Dave stood and reached a hand to her. She lifted her hand to his and stood. Reena followed Dave to the bedroom and stood, still and uncertain, as he closed the door. Turning from the door, he noticed her shaking. "Reena, this is only going to work if it's something you want to do." Panic washed over her face. "I want to, I do. I'm just a little scared." She licked her lips and tried to steady her breathing. "It's just; I, uh; well, Becca talked about how you, uh; do; things. It's never been like that before. I mean, both boyfriends that I've; been with; just kinda; did their thing and got off." Dave approached her. He placed a hand gently on her shoulder and looked into her eyes. "I'm not the greatest lover, so I hope Becca didn't put me on too high a pedestal. I do take the time to pay attention to a woman's needs. That said, this first time, you're only going to get there when the first bit of my fluid hits you, and then again when I pop. I could be the greatest lover in the world, and nothing will get you to climax other than those two events the first time." Reena smiled warmly and laid her head on his chest and wrapped her arms around his torso. "I came here for the long term Dave. The short term is less important." After gathering her thoughts, she continued. "Just show me I matter to you, that's all I ask." Dave stroked his hand through her long, dark hair. He kissed the crown of Reena's head and ran his hands gently down her arms. He pulled her closer by the waist and she raised her head. Their lips met and each let their hands roam across the others' body. Kareena moaned into the kiss. Dave took that as encouragement and allowed his hands to rise to caress the sides of her luscious, sizable tits over top her shirt. She shuddered and pressed herself to him. Dave picked Reena up gently and seated her on the edge of the bed before joining her. He kissed her neck and nibbled her collarbone. Dave slipped his fingers under her top and lifted slowly, pulling his face back to allow her half shirt to pass. He dropped his face to kiss the upper slopes of her tits as his hands sought out the bra clasp in the back. He briefly recalled the mistake with Shawna, just as he found the interfering component. It yielded quickly to his touch and Reena shrugged off the straps, allowing the bra to slide to her legs and fall to the floor. Dave pulled his face back to admire the view. Even at what must be a D or E cup, her tits stood out proudly with the perkiness of youth. He locked eyes with her and latched her lips with a hungry kiss. Reena groaned with a hunger that matched his own. He placed his hands beside her tits, thumbs stroking the underside of the soft orbs enflaming his desire. Reena's breathing sped up with his caresses. She gasped as he took one dark brown nipple and areola in his mouth and suckled. "Oh, David; oh God, that feels good." She whimpered as he released her aroused nub, then hummed passionately as he engaged her mouth again with his own. As their tongues danced, he lowered her torso to the bed, her defiant bust yielding only slightly to the insistence of gravity as each hung off to the sides. Dave kissed down her cleavage and nipped and kissed about her abdomen before bringing his mouth to rest just above the button of her jeans. He looked up her body, between her tits. Only when she lifted her head to return his gaze did he unbutton her jeans and peel them back slightly as he began kissing the small exposed area of her pelvis. He half stood, still dallying his lips on her taut flesh as he moved himself around her knee to settle between her legs. He peeled her jeans down to her knees before pulling upwards, lifting her legs in the air and stripping her jeans off. He stood, bring the jeans clear of her feet, then caught her legs against his chest. If the look in her eyes and her rapid, deep breathing hadn't been enough to confirm her arousal, the warm, musky scent of her sex screamed it loudly. It was heady, rich, and inviting. He parted her elevated legs and slowly knelt, his eyes on hers, a lecherous smile on his face as he lowered it towards the lace panties covering her throbbing center. The black tracery woven through the garment gave accent to the richness of the red base. His face only inches from her sex, he paused, inhaling the scent of her, reveling in her arousal. He kissed her over top her tanga-style panties, applying just enough pressure to transmit the sensation from his lips to hers. Reena groaned, her hands reaching for his head. Dave looped his fingers through the sides of her panties and pulled them towards him, then up. She bent her legs at the knees to ease their removal and she hissed her assent. Understanding the actions of the serum now, better than he had previously, Dave took her engorged labia into his mouth, suckling at them as he probed her slit with his tongue. Reena cried out, arching her back, yearning for release. Satisfied she was as aroused and ready as the serum would allow, Dave half rose, keeping her knees on his shoulders and lifted her up the bed as he crawled on to it. With a firm purchase on the bed, He kissed her again and worked his hips to align his shaft with her entrance. With his tip lodged just inside her opening, she nodded to him, urgently. Dave steadily edged himself into her, her passage relaxed and accepting him. The warm moist tunnel held him firmly, stretching to accommodate his girth as he penetrated her fully. His tip pressed against the very top of her tunnel as his pelvis made contact with her clitoris. Dave began with a slow, gentle grinding action. Reena held his arms as he worked himself in her. Her breath suddenly caught before she howled and shook. Dave knew he must have leaked out the first bit of precum, triggering her priming orgasm. He held still while the ecstasy rebounded through her. It took her well over a minute to recover. She clasped her hands behind Dave's neck and kissed him fiercely as her legs locked behind the small of his back. "I'm yours now, forever. Work that thing in me and finish your claim." Her eyes were hungry, certain, and unyielding. With a smile, and his eyes locked on her, Dave worked his hips back and forth, plunging in and out of her. Reena grunted with each impact of his pelvis against hers, a look of joy on her face, her breathing growing ragged. Dave accelerated his motion as he felt himself building to the eruption they both needed. The yearning in Reena's eyes exhorted him onward until he felt the familiar tingle and let loose inside of her. Immediately, all of Reena's muscles contracted, seizing and spasming. Dave held still, embedded in her depths as he pulsed more and more of his essence into her. He held himself still as she writhed, giving some anchor to her flailing until she crumbled to the bed beneath him. "Imprinting; imprinting; imprinting;” October 13, 2020. Dave sat in the station chair, in cloth shorts only, working through a third set of butterflies. He actually preferred free weights, but he wanted to push himself hard today without bugging someone to spot him. He'd been cycling curls, chest presses, and butterflies. Though he went to free weights for the curls. Melanie came in as he was straining to get out the tenth rep. The slightly amused face she wore added into something else entirely as she spotted him bare but for a pair of shorts, glistening in sweat from forty minutes of strength training. Her breathing deepened, which drew Dave's eyes to her chest. He faltered, kept straining, but couldn't quite finish the rep. "Uh; um;” She shook her head and gathered her thoughts. "So, I caught our two youngest ladies messing around in your office. They're in the living room now. I think you should come talk." The smirk returned, though her eyes kept lingering on his sweaty abdomen. Dave was sure she was slipping a little extra sway in her hips as she walked ahead of him to the living room. He quickly checked his phone on the way, noting several texts, all from family members. Most of his family had denied the virus was real or that masks or lockdowns worked, so most of them were 'not responding' on social media. The few that remained had posted mournful bits on social media, still not acknowledging reality. Since he'd pointed out the absurdity of their positions before people started dying, he was now dead to them. Not really something that affected him much actually, since they lived three states away and never thought much of him in the first place. But why the fuck; ok, wow, yet a new level of hate texts? And why all of them, all of a sudden? Becca and Reena sat on opposite sides of the couch. Reena's eyes were downcast. She appeared to be on the verge of crying. Becca's lips were pressed into a flatline, her eyes not meeting Dave's. Dave cleared his throat. Becca looked briefly at him, then quickly away. Reena let out a small whimper and kept her eyes on the floor. "So y'all want to tell me what happened?" Becca finally met his gaze. "We were only trying to help." "Oh good, so many wonderful things have followed that statement." Dave took a seat between them and pulled them close. "How about dropping the preamble and just getting it out." "I broke into your computer and we used your Facebook profile to contact two women that show up in your feed a lot. We were going to contact a few others when Mel walked in. It took a while because we were trying to say something unique to each one." Becca monotoned. Then she perked up "we just thought since you requested some of us, you could request other women you already knew." If I blow my top, I'll not only hurt Becca whom I most definitely love but cause super skittish Reena to withdraw completely. The girl's trying to find herself a new place in life. Unless she's clearly reverting to past behavior I have got to treat her with kid gloves. Dave suddenly made a connection in his head. "Who were the two women you propositioned in my name?" "Janine Farkel and Mary Pharns" Dave's head lolled back as he chuckled. "Well, that would explain the texts I just red. Every woman on my mother's side still alive are royally pissed at me. None bothered to explain why, but went to great lengths delineating what an utter worthless beast I am." Becca looked at him confused. Reena did as well, though she was ready to start bawling again. He took a deep breath. "Janine Farkel is my cousin. Her mom and my mom are sisters." Becca rolled her eyes at their mistake. Reena looked like she wanted to bury her head in his shoulder, but wasn't sure she was allowed. "To be fair, I did think she was awfully cute when we were kids. But once I realized what romance was focused around, I was instantly aware that wasn't something you do with your cousin." That got Becca to give a small snort. Reena's frown almost became a grin. "Mary Pharns is Janine's niece, her older brother's daughter, making her my second cousin." Both girls groaned. "You know what you did wrong?" God, he shouldn't be talking like this with a sexual partner, yet the situation called for it. "I should have checked relationships before sending out a message?" Becca asked softly. Dave looked at her stonily. "You should not have used my social media profile without my permission. You should not have acted in my name, without consulting me first. You acted because you had the skills. Just because you can do a thing, it does not necessarily follow that you must do that thing." "Did you just use Star Trek 6 as a rebuke?" Becca said with narrowed eyes and mouth. "If the shoe fits, wear it." She rolled her eyes. Dave looked to Reena, on his other side. He bent his head down to hers, lifting her chin with the hand around her shoulder. Their lips met and he kissed her sweetly. They held the kiss, lips moving, but only that, for nearly a minute. When they broke, Reena batted her eyes and blushed. "Well, it's not a boring life." Dave observed. Both girls barked out a laugh and snuggled into him. "So Dave, um," Reena temporized, "is there anything we could do to; make it up to you?" Becca jumped in. "We've been talking about, maybe you know, both of us?" Dave's eyebrows rose. "Like maybe, you could; um; fill one of us up; and then the other one; uh; licks it out while you; uh; do it in her. So, there's this line of you and then both of us." "I'm willing to be the in-between one," Reena interjected. Becca's eyes betrayed her surprise. "That would be amazing. But only if you want to, and not as punishment. I don't want anything sexual to be punishment." Reena popped her head up. "Not actual punishment. Roleplay and BDSM are different. That's for mutual pleasure, with agreed upon boundaries." Reena relaxed against him again, nodding her head lightly. "I'll put out a message to my family members about what happened, including a tightly worded appreciation of the faith in me they displayed with their responses. After a few more days of bitching, that should keep them off my back for a good six months while they go back to savaging each other. Or whoever they've collectively deemed as 'other'." Dinner in the Belsus household had been moved back to accommodate Shawna's frequent shifts on the 5pm and 6pm broadcasts. Today, however, she'd taken the early morning duty and arrived home shortly after five. She found Dave in his office, staring at another set of lab instructions for the online physics offering he'd been instructed to develop. One month out from spring semester registration, he was supposed to have already submitted a final number for the course fee needed to cover any kits or supplies the school would require to accompany the course. "Dave?" He brought his head up and smiled when he saw her. "Hey Shawna. How long have you been standing there?" "Less than a minute." Her broad smile that fully engulfed her eyes pulled his brain out of its work fog. He saved his work and logged out. "We have about two hours before dinner's ready. What would you like to do?" "I could use a massage, if you're up for it." "Sure." Shawna took his hand and led him to an unused bedroom that had been converted to an alternate TV and game room. Not entirely unused. Shawna's work clothes were in the closet so she could dress before work without disturbing anyone in the master bedroom. On walking in, she picked up the remote and flipped through menus. "It's a shame they don't have Babylon 5 or original Galactica on streaming. How 'bout some TNG?" Dave nodded. Shawna setup an episode, then settled on the floor, placing herself between Dave's legs as he sat on the bed. Dave slipped his hands to her neck and began working his thumbs in the crease there. His fingers held the sides of her neck, mostly giving a base for the thumbs, but doing small motions on the flesh they contacted. Shawna let her head droop slightly. "Umm, I love feeling your hands on me, baby." She turned her head so she could see him out the corner of her eye. "Once you've got my neck nice and loose, feel free to; roam a bit." The lusty grin those words slipped out of punctuated her meaning. Dave chuckled and gave her a kiss on her cheek before she dropped her head loose again. Within the first minute, Dave could feel the tension in her and went to work helping her relax. He thoroughly massaged her scalp, taking care not to mess with her hairstyle. He massaged her forehead, then around her ears and jaw before descending to her neck. Once that was feeling loose, he moved down to her shoulders. He worked her upper back as well, working out the physical manifestations of the stresses she may or may not share later. She was already running the entire meteorology department for the station. The official promotion had not yet come through, but she was the one that all the folks in the department looked to for direction. She was the one the higher ups passed their instructions through. Every day had at least some stress. He rolled her neck in his hands, feeling the looseness that hadn't been there when he'd started. Satisfied the primary task was accomplished, he allowed his fingers to stretch down from her shoulders, caressing her front progressively lower from her collarbone. "Umm. uh-hmm." Dave slipped his hands under her silky blouse and directly stimulated the flesh just above the upper slopes of Shawna's tits. He carefully sought out a path that took his fingers down the sides of her tits, cupping them as he massaged them. Shawna sucked in a breath before saying "Oh, yes baby. God I love these hands." With his hands inside her shirt and bra, Dave deftly stroked her tits and nipples Until she stood and began stripping her clothes off. He matched her actions and the two fell to the bed naked, their hearts pounding. Shawna landed on top, but quickly rolled to put him above her. Taking his cue, Dave got his knees between her legs and made the connection they both sought. Excited as she was, he slipped himself in easily. They lost the need for words as he pumped in and out of her. Both roamed their hands and lips across the other, but the primary need was the stimulation below as she bucked her hips up to him and he thrust into her offered portal. The long, slow, burn of the massage had them both well on their way before they entangled themselves. Shawna lit off first, shuddering and moaning as they kissed, her body convulsing in the throes of a 'normal' orgasm. The actions of her inner muscles on his cock pushed Dave the last bit of his peak and he let loose within her, triggering a serum-induced orgasm even as her body was beginning to come down from the natural orgasm. They held each other close, panting, for several minutes. Another few minutes were spent kissing, until the unmistakable sounds of a dinner nearly ready intruded their thoughts. They dressed carefully, unrushed, but ready to move on to the next part of the evening. They descended the stairs holding hands and crossed the living room into the dining room. Esme passed them as they took seats, a bowl in her hands as she helped lay out dishes for the meal. Passing behind Shawna, Esme gave an audible, obvious sniff, then looked at Dave and shook her head. Chapter 7; Celebration. October 16, 2020. Dave's heart was handling the exertion just fine, only slightly elevated beyond his usual while doing this. His breathing was ragged though. He was having trouble finding his rhythm. And his legs felt like rubber. "Come on, Dave," Olivia said over her shoulder, "You can do better than this. Tell ya what, you beat me back to the house and I'll give you my ass tonight." She blew a kiss over her shoulder, then kicked hard. Roscoe let out a bark that was both happy and plaintive, then loped faster to keep pace. They were about a quarter mile from the house, nearing the end of their three mile run. Dave frequently ran five miles in a morning, but he'd slacked off gradually as his living situation changed. Last week he hadn't run at all. Having a woman's warm body snuggled up against him just made it that much harder to get out of bed and run. Multiple bodies pressed against him, each with its own unique, warm, fleshy wonder, made getting out of bed nearly impossible. Dave kicked out after Livy. He gained on her at first, but the view of her firm, muscular ass was just amazing. Dave decided it was worth it to keep the view and let her win. Anal would be fun to try, but they had their whole lives together. This view, now, this morning, gave him the satisfaction he was looking for. At the entrance to the driveway, they slowed to a walk. Arms over their heads, they walked circles in the driveway and yard. Roscoe, tongue out, huge canine grin, circled about them. Occasionally, he bumped his head against a thigh and got a pat on the head for his efforts. "For taking a week off, you didn't lose much ability. You let me win that." "Well, to be fair, watching your ass in those leggings is a reward all it's own." Dave took her in his arms and kissed her forehead, the tip of her nose, and softly on the lips. He could feel her smile into the kiss. When he pulled back and her eyes reopened, he saw a lingering uncertainty in them. "This still has an undercurrent of weird, but a whole lot of wonderful. I sometimes get paranoid your dad's going to come around the corner and catch me kissing you." Olivia smacked his chest, then buried her face in it with a giggle. "I'm also amazed that I have this beautiful, intelligent, loving young woman in my life that has admired me for many years. A young woman I watched grow up, becoming one of the finest human beings I've ever had the privilege to know. And she chose me to live her life with." Olivia's hug on Dave squeezed tighter. She had her dream. Everything she ever wanted was right here. Then Dave's stomach rumbled. "Guess I better get my butt in the kitchen and feed my man." Dave rolled his eyes. "Sure," he said, with a pat on her ass as she turned towards the door, "get in that kitchen and cook my food woman." Olivia's only response was to wiggle her ass. Halfway to the door, she turned her head over her shoulder and stuck out her tongue, through a great big grin. She shrieked and ran, giggling, when Dave started to run towards her. The first order of business was to let Roscoe into the backyard, where he lapped water from his bowl before plopping onto the deck. Once in the kitchen, Dave snatched a bowl from the cupboard while Olivia pulled the egg carton from the fridge. Lupie's chickens did a fine job keeping up with the needs of Dave, Lupie, Becca, and Esme. Add Janice, Shawna, Olivia, and Melanie to the mix, and those chickens made a nice supplement, but would never keep up on their own. When Dave reached for the carton, Liv slapped his hand lightly. "I told you, I'm making breakfast for you. Take a seat." "Maybe I should just go take my shower now, and come down to a hot breakfast made by my hot babe." She threw an appreciative grin over her shoulder. "Maybe you should go find the sweat slut and give her what she wants." "She does like it without being sweaty too ya know." "Are you talking about Melanie?" came Janice's voice from the dining room entry. Soft and melodic, Dave would never get enough of those carefully crafted tones. "Gee, how'd you guess?" Dave gave her a gentle kiss in greeting. Janice hummed in the kiss, but kept their bodies separated. "I'm kinda in between Mel and Lupie here on this one. It's not my kink, and don't want to be pressed against you when you're all sweaty, but I'm not shoving you away when you look all manly and accomplished." Jan blushed lightly at the end of her statement. She let go of Dave to move to Liv's side at the counter. She watched Olivia crack the eggs one handed, then split the shell, still using one hand only, over the bowl to drain the egg out. "Hey, that's just how Dave taught me to do it." Olivia looked at her with a smile and a raised eyebrow. That caused Jan to laugh. "Okay, okay, for me it was just a few weeks ago. I take it you were, what, fourteen?" "Eight. Eight years old, standing on a step stool with one of the two greatest guys in the world standing beside me." Olivia said wistfully. Jan gave her a quick shoulder hug. "Can I do anything to help?" "Sure. I'm just going to scramble these with some seasoning. Maybe some toast or fruit? A little late to start bacon." Jan, with her head in the fridge called out, "We've got a package of pre-cooked breakfast sausage. Just need to be heated through." "Sounds good." "Hey Jan?" Dave asked. "While you're in there, can you grab me an apple or a pear?" Dave easily caught the pear she tossed his way and began eating it after polishing it on a dry spot on his shirt. "I can't seem to stop eating lately. I'm surprised I didn't gain weight the last few weeks. Eating more than usual, and little to no exercise." Tossing a lid on the skillet to keep the steam inside, Jan turned to Dave. "Little to no exercise? Dave, you have energetic sex at least twice a day, with three or four blowjobs or quickies as well. If you're denying your hunger and not eating, that would explain the; what, five pounds you lost?" "Hmm, hadn't weighed myself in a while. Too afraid the scale would just scream 'Get off me fatso!'" Olivia snorted, but immediately gave him a scowl that matched Jan's. "Dave," Jan said, "you are far from overweight. If you keep over restricting yourself by not accounting for your activity, you're going to hurt yourself, and us by extension. You should stash snacks in your office, so you can have something as soon as you get hungry." She paused for a moment. "Maybe we should get a small fridge for your office, to hold some snacks that would be better cold, or water bottles. You like your fruit and water cold." Just then, Dave's phone chimed the tone he'd set for texts from the ladies of the house. Looking down and unlocking, he saw it was from Shawna. Shawna Posted; It's official! I got the promotion! WFAA Chief Meteorologist Shawna Coulter! That's great! I'm proud of you! You put in a lot of work to get here, babe! Shawna Posted; a heart emoji. They even did a video call with Troy! He still wears those wonderfully dorky bowties! He congratulated me, said he's been watching, and he's proud I'm holding the department to a high standard of science and reporting! Then she posted a star-eyed emoji, smiling face with tear emoji You earned every bit of those accolades. Shawna Posted; face blowing a kiss emoji, It's just, oh my God, he's a legend around here, and well-regarded in the weather community! And then he's on a Zoom call, telling me I'm doing the station and profession proud! I remember watching him as a kid, hun. I can imagine the impact. You put years of work into this. Enjoy the fruits of victory, my love. Dave froze. The first time he'd used the 'L' word with Shawna, and it was by text! Dammit! In the silent minutes of self-recrimination, his phone chimed again. Shawna Posted; I love you too, David. "What's with the dopey-lovey grin, Dave?" Olivia's voice brought him back to the dining room as she sat a platter of scrambled eggs on a wooden trivet and centered it on the table. Jan came in and did likewise for a platter of sausage. "Shawna got the official promotion to Chief Meteorologist." "Hey, that's great!" Jan said, with Lupie chiming in as she entered with Esme. Mel came in a few steps behind. "Mel," Liv said, "could you grab the fruit tray and toast?" Mel nodded her agreement. Lupie shooed Esme to go help. "We should do something to celebrate Shawna's promotion." Lupie said. Heads nodded around the table. "She's got the six o'clock duty tonight, and they'll probably do some kind of cake thing there, so I wouldn't expect her home until after dinner." Jan supplied. "Tomorrow, she's going in for a few hours to give guidance and get some admin work done. No on-air duties though. She said she'd be home by two, maybe three at the latest. Oh, and she's not going in until ten at the earliest. She swore she was getting to sleep in." "How about a picnic in the park?" Melanie suggested. "The way she gets nostalgic talking about the smell of grass or the air from her storm chasing days, maybe she'd like that." "Hopefully sans storm," Liv said dryly. Mel stuck her tongue out in reply, then both giggled. "So, an early dinner tomorrow, after Shawna gets home. Let's figure out a menu and divide up duties." Lupie guided the ensuing short discussion. She tried to dissuade Dave from making a dish, again cajoling him that he should let them take care of such things. Dave pointed out that he enjoys cooking and seeing people enjoy his efforts. Shawna had shown an interest in his tomato-cucumber salad, and they did just pull in a fresh harvest of both. Then he got a little dirty. Would Lupie deny Shawna a dish she loved from someone she cared for on her celebration day? Okay, that was a little not cool, but he wanted to make something dammit. Lupie's look was by turns hurt and chagrined. "I'm sorry Lupie, that was over the line." Dave stood and walked to her chair. He took her hand and kissed it. "Please, I love to cook, and I feel like I'm getting shut out here. I love what you and the others cook too. And I understand your position about my role, leading the family. But please, step back once in a while and let me make a dish." Lupie got a saucy look in her eye. With a smile and a wink, she said, "Very well, you may work in my kitchen." Dave rolled his eyes, but as she stood to begin clearing the table, he swatted her butt, giving it a gentle squeeze. "Eep!" She turned and buried her face in his chest. As she turned, he could see her face was as red as the tomatoes he'd use tomorrow. Just then, Becca and Reena stumbled in, bleary eyed and messy haired. They'd been working on some project and stayed up late, sleeping in a different bedroom. "Why don't you let Heckle and Jeckle here get their breakfast, and then let them clean up?" Lupie screwed up her face, ready to object, but both teens nodded their assent, Becca holding out a thumbs up as she flopped into a chair. Then Lupie mentioned Shawna's promotion and the planned party for tomorrow. Both girls livened up, huge grins on their faces. They leaned towards each other, speaking in quick whispers before pulling back and high-fiving. Whatever was going on had them completely awake with broad grins. "You girls care to share?" I asked. "Not yet, it's a surprise. A good one this time, promise." Becca flushed with remembered embarrassment from the 'hook Dave up' fiasco. Reena blushed as well, nodding agreement. Jan lay under Dave on the bed, her legs wrapped around his waist. Since he was already sweaty, she thought she'd give it a try. Might as well, right? Try different ways? As Dave pumped in and out of her, he paused between kisses to study her face. "You are not feeling it are you?" "You, yes. The sweat, no. Sorry, David." Dave stopped his motions, beginning to pull out. "No, no, please. Finish in me. Then we can take a shower together, and maybe; my turn in the tub?" Dave was still working his way through individual dates with each lady, but they had added a twist. Each wanted a soak in the large, sea-shell shaped garden tub in the master bath. To make it special (they argued getting tub time with him made it special) he'd managed to personalize the experience with different settings. Lupie loved lavender, so he arranged lavender bath scents, two candles on the vanity, and four candles around the tub. Every time before, when Dave was near lavender, his eyes, nose, and mouth got itchy, so he took a dose of his strongest allergy meds (over the counter, but behind the pharmacy desk) half an hour before the bath time. It; didn't work. He didn't sneeze or have too much sinus irritation. But Lupie's time luxuriating as she leaned against him in the bath was cut short when she noticed red bumps all over his arms as they wrapped loosely around her. She was furious with Dave as she pushed him into the shower stall to wash off the offending aromatics. She pulled the plug on the bathtub and kicked on the fan before joining him. He was grateful when the steamy air got into his lungs. When Dave pledged to try again, Lupie pointedly suggested almond and vanilla. After that, all the ladies insisted on knowing what gave him allergic reactions. As far as scents go, they were relieved the only remaining problematic scents were eucalyptus and any form of mint. Mel was slightly bummed about the mint, but wasn't that attached to it. "The feeling of Dave going down on me vastly outweighs the pleasantness of a mint-scented bath." So after Dave finished, and a few minutes of snuggling, he got up to shower quickly. Adjusting the tub faucet to Janice's preferred temperature, he left it running. Then he pulled the special items for Janice from the one locked closet in the bathroom. The one he stashed all the special prep stuff for the ladies. Yes, they'd picked scents and lighting, but that's no reason to give away all the details. With the tub about half full, he drizzled a small, short stream of rose oil into the water with a slight sideways motion to help start the mixing process. The tub's curvature and the current due to the filling should do the rest. Next, he killed the lights. Jan wanted natural lighting, which is why they were doing this in the daytime. There was a large window that let light into the master bath. No one could see in from that direction, into an upstairs window anyway, so it was safe, even before the pandemic. As the tub neared full, Dave cut the water and sprinkled rose petals on the surface, around the tub margins, and then some on the floor. With his back to the door, he surveyed the scene to make sure it was right. Satisfied, he placed the partial bag of petals in the closet and locked it again. Then he stepped back into the bedroom, closing the door behind him. He led Jan from the bed to the bathroom door and had her cover her eyes with her hands before opening the door. Jan walked slowly into the bathroom, marveling at the setup. As Dave joined her, she wrapped him in her arms and delivered a warm, passionate kiss. Then they climbed into the tub, Janice lying back against Dave's chest, as the two enjoyed the closeness without any overtly sexual play. It was a good morning. "Why do you smell like roses?" Reena asked as she lay curled into Dave's side on the laid-out recliner. "Because I gave Jan her couples tub time earlier and she likes a rose-scented bath." "So you're really working your way through romancing each of us personally?" "There's no other way. You are each unique. Different desires, different needs. I'll do my best to give you what makes you feel happy and accepted." "This is pretty good right here." The teen gave him a soft kiss. "I like Jan. She has good taste in bath scents. And men." Dave chuckled, giving her a soft squeeze in appreciation. They were in the living room, though no music or shows were playing. Just a quiet snuggle. Kareena wore cloth shorts and one of Dave's nerd shirts. This one looked like a computer's BSOD. Melanie cringed when she saw it on her way out the door earlier. Reena must have been wearing a bra, since her large tits were somewhat contained and her nipples were not poking through. Given her past behavior it was a 50/50 toss up whether she was wearing any kind of panties, but there was no outward indication either way, and this wasn't the kind of snuggle to facilitate an exploration to find out. "So I've been talking with Becca and Jan, and the others. I think I'd like to take some classes in the Spring?" "Why are you asking that like a question?" "I wanted to make sure you're okay with it." "Reena, we are partnered. We will spend the rest of our lives together, and eventually have kids together. I don't own you." Dave looked her straight in the eye for this part. "Sure, there are somethings you could choose to do that will impact all of us and therefore require some prior notice or approval. What schooling you pursue is not in that category. Now, if you're looking for advice, I'm here for you. It sounds to me like you've already gotten some from the others. And I happen to think highly of their opinions, so you should be good to go." Dave got a full kiss on the lips for that, with only a little tongue. "I'm going to go undeclared and just take some basic classes. Becca and I plan on taking composition and speech together. Not math or science. She really helped me through high school, but I'm not at her level and I don't want to hold her back. As soon as we can, I'll take the placement tests and hope I get into college math instead of remedial." Her face fell at the prospect of starting below college level. "Becca will probably get into precal or calc right from the start." "You'll do fine, no matter where you place. If you're really worried about it, talk to Jan. I have some math prep books around here. Take some time to brush up before your test." Dave kissed her nose. "Regardless of what course you place into, you'll need to set aside some study time. And fortunately, you have plenty of people in this house that can help. Becca of course, and me for math and science, Lupie's good with numbers and presentations, and management or decision making. What Jan doesn't know she knows how to find. Shawna would be great for math, science or public speaking, but she still has a full time job that keeps her out of the house eight hours a day at least, so she may be less available." Reena smiled. "Yeah, she's kind of a badass. Like she's so completely feminine lovey dovey with you, but work wise, she rules the roost and gets things done." "Feminine does not mean weak, baby doll." Over the past week or so, Reena had shown a preference for diminutive names and pseudo-possessive treatment. Dave suspected it was partially due to her high school relationships with jocks and trust fund boys, but he fed her what she asked for while making sure she still felt loved and appreciated. The caramel-skinned teen smiled back. "I know. But it's nice when you say that too." She paused to change direction back to the main topic. "I think I'd like to go into interior design. That would mean an associate's in, well, anything really, but business might be a good idea. Then a trade school for my focus classes. I thought about fashion for a while, but all that cutting and sewing sounds really annoying. Placing furniture and décor, choosing the right painting and lighting, that sounds challenging and fun." "I like the passion I hear in your voice. I'm right behind you. Just; don't ask me to tell the difference between jade and emerald." "They're totally different!" Dave chuckled and gave her another hug. "Hell, half the time, someone has to remind me that chartreuse is a green hue, not a red one." "Ugh!" Reena rolled her eyes and huffed. "Isn't this the same guy that cried at two different movies last night?" "Hey, anyone that doesn't cry when Goose dies is a heartless brute. Ditto for Spock." Dave pitched his voice slightly lower and made it raspy and slow. "I have been, and ever shall be; your friend." Reena smacked his chest, water rimming her eyes. The whole house had been on an 80's movie kick, with an emphasis on sci-fi, since that was beloved by Dave, Shawna, and Becca. Livy and Mel were mild fans of science fiction as well. Lupie, Jan, and Reena just wanted to understand their partners better. Reena had sobbed during Spock's death scene. Becca had earlier led Kareena through a few of the original Trek series, including 'Space Seed', 'Amok Time' and 'City on the Edge of Forever' to give her some context for the movies. Before either of them could continue the conversation, the front door opened. Melanie and Olivia came through with several bags straining from each hand. Reena and Dave rose, heading for the door as his two returning partners crossed to the dining room to set down their burdens. Two trips each emptied the car. Melanie and Reena set about getting the cold items stowed first, while Liv grabbed the bag from the sporting goods store and headed upstairs. Dave went to the garage for his tools before joining her. One room had been claimed by Mel and Liv as their own. Primarily just as a private space for the two of them, but of course for those times that privacy was a little more intimately desired. Carter's suspicion was in error, at the time. Neither girl had been intimate with another woman. Prior to moving in, the girls had never shown an interest in each other. Now though, they were somewhere along the road of experimentation. But, the lessons taught to Olivia by her father were deeply rooted. And that lesson was about responsibility as well as security. Which is why they were making this installation, behind Livy's headboard. "This last bolt will do it. Which one are you going with?" "The ten. If someone's trying to hurt us, I want a big punch." "You know what your dad said, aim makes caliber an extra." She narrowed her eyes. "My aim is fine. Better than yours even." "Okay, ok, easy there Annie Oakley." Liv smirked. "You read the programming instructions for the palm print scanner yet?" "No, it's the same model I used in Stephenville, though." "Well, I've got it installed," Dave said, crawling out the small space between the headboard and the wall. Bigger than normal, since they'd pulled it out to do this work, but still tighter than Dave would like. "Time for you to program it. You remember the code to the gun cabinet?" Dave's gun cabinet was built in the understairs area, covered to look like a normal part of the hallway, except the small hatch over the keypad. "Yep. Kinda hard to forget." Liv gave him a kiss as she slipped past and began the programming process. To be continued in part 6, Based on a post by RonanJWilkerson, in 12 parts, for Literotica.

Never underestimate the power of "yes Lord". An inspiring message from Guest speaker, Pastor Jon Norman of Soul Church, Norwich, encouraging us to say to God- Yes to your ways- Yes to your wait- Yes to your name- Yes to your planScriptures: Isaiah 26:8, 2 Corinthians 1:20, Philippians 4:19, Psalm 27,

Aaron D’Anthony Brown reminds us that even in the midst of fear, suffering, or societal pressures, we can trust in God’s light. Drawing on Psalm 56:3, this devotional encourages believers to approach God honestly, commit to Him consistently, and seek strength in community so that darkness does not have the final word. Highlights Darkness and suffering are inevitable in a fallen world, but God’s faithful love remains constant. Honest, earnest prayer aligns our hearts with Christ and brings hope even in difficult circumstances. Commitment to God involves daily devotion, prayer, and active participation in His community. Surrounding yourself with supportive believers strengthens faith and reduces the grip of fear. Trusting God allows His light to shine through life’s challenges, replacing fear with faith. Join the Conversation How do you respond when darkness creeps into your life? Are you leaning into God’s presence and trusting His light, or trying to face struggles alone? Share your reflections, encourage others, and join the conversation with @LifeAudioNetwork using #TrustInGod #FaithOverFear #GodsLightShines.

3719 – August 28, 2025 – The Democrats are ANTI-GOD – What is Freedom? It is certainly not politics, and it is NOT the Democrat Party. If you are a “democrat voter” I want you to listen carefully to what your party now stands for… and ask yourself… “Are those my values?” Democrats are anti-God: Yes, they are! In their 2012 ... The post The Democrats are ANTI-GOD appeared first on CSC Talk Radio.

Sun. May 25, 2025: "The Kingdom of God: Yes...And" -Rev. Randy Rentner, CSC, Pastor of St. Andre Bessette, Portland

Feeling tired, discouraged, or like you're running on empty? Pastor Abigail talks about finding strength in God—especially in seasons of waiting, weakness, and weariness. You don't have to power through on your own; God's strength is real, available, and more than enough for whatever you're facing.

Jesus is the only way to God. If we testify to that, we will be ignored at best or hated at worst because Jesus leads to an inescapable decision. In this message, Pastor Lutzer challenges us to consider the cost of witnessing for Christ. What price are we willing to pay? This month's special offer is available for a donation of any amount. Get yours at https://offerrtw.com or call us at 1-800-215-5001. 

Jesus is the only way to God. If we testify to that, we will be ignored at best or hated at worst because Jesus leads to an inescapable decision. In this message, Pastor Lutzer challenges us to consider the cost of witnessing for Christ. What price are we willing to pay? To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/1407/29

Nobody has ever made claims like Jesus. From Hitler, to Lenin, to Buddha, to Freud, no one ever claimed to be God. In this message, Pastor Lutzer shares two practical stories of witnessing about the only qualified Savior, Jesus. Let's discover the inescapable conclusions of believing on Christ. This month's special offer is available for a donation of any amount. Get yours at https://offerrtw.com or call us at 1-800-215-5001. 

Nobody has ever made claims like Jesus. From Hitler, to Lenin, to Buddha, to Freud, no one ever claimed to be God. In this message, Pastor Lutzer shares two practical stories of witnessing about the only qualified Savior, Jesus. Let's discover the inescapable conclusions of believing on Christ. To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/1407/29

Many people think all religions are equal and scoff at evangelism. But there is only one true God, and Jesus Christ is the only way to get to heaven. In this message, Pastor Lutzer defines three characteristics of truth: universality, consistency, and objectivity. Without that truth there is no knowing, and without that life there is no living. This month's special offer is available for a donation of any amount. Get yours at https://offerrtw.com or call us at 1-800-215-5001. 

Many people think all religions are equal and scoff at evangelism. But there is only one true God, and Jesus Christ is the only way to get to heaven. In this message, Pastor Lutzer defines three characteristics of truth: universality, consistency, and objectivity. Without that truth there is no knowing, and without that life there is no living. To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/1407/29

In today's world, “tolerance” is heard everywhere. But Christians must be ready and able to lovingly point people to Jesus—the only way to the Father. In this message from John 14, Pastor Lutzer considers why Jesus is the beginning and end of the journey to God. Jesus is the only one qualified to be our Savior. This month's special offer is available for a donation of any amount. Get yours at https://offerrtw.com or call us at 1-800-215-5001. 

In today's world, “tolerance” is heard everywhere. But Christians must be ready and able to lovingly point people to Jesus—the only way to the Father. In this message from John 14, Pastor Lutzer considers why Jesus is the beginning and end of the journey to God. Jesus is the only one qualified to be our Savior. To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/1407/29

As we compare Buddhism, Islam, and New Age Spirituality with Jesus, what sets Him apart? Some admire Jesus but have never accepted Him. In this message, Pastor Lutzer invites us on a journey to find a sinless Savior. Finding out the truth about our spiritual condition and its remedy must be our number one priority.  This month's special offer is available for a donation of any amount. Get yours at https://offerrtw.com or call us at 1-800-215-5001. 

As we compare Buddhism, Islam, and New Age Spirituality with Jesus, what sets Him apart? Some admire Jesus but have never accepted Him. In this message, Pastor Lutzer invites us on a journey to find a sinless Savior. Finding out the truth about our spiritual condition and its remedy must be our number one priority.  To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/1407/29

Jesus was a sinless human being. But He could only bridge the gap between God and humanity because He became one of us. In this message from John 1, Pastor Lutzer demonstrates more of Jesus' qualifications to save: His humanity and His ability. What a Savior!  This month's special offer is available for a donation of any amount. Get yours at https://offerrtw.com or call us at 1-800-215-5001. 

Jesus was a sinless human being. But He could only bridge the gap between God and humanity because He became one of us. In this message from John 1, Pastor Lutzer demonstrates more of Jesus' qualifications to save: His humanity and His ability. What a Savior!  To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/1407/29

Many are into spirituality but are often offended by absolute truth claims. While some think all religions are equal and scoff at evangelism, Jesus stands alone. In this message from John 1, Pastor Lutzer shows the first of three credentials that qualify Him: His deity. God has revealed Himself in the flesh. This month's special offer is available for a donation of any amount. Get yours at https://offerrtw.com or call us at 1-800-215-5001. 

Many are into spirituality but are often offended by absolute truth claims. While some think all religions are equal and scoff at evangelism, Jesus stands alone. In this message from John 1, Pastor Lutzer shows the first of three credentials that qualify Him: His deity. God has revealed Himself in the flesh. To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/1407/29

Finally realizing the better options they both could choose..Based on a post by dark overlord 6, in 4 parts. Listen to the ► Podcast at Connected.Roxy closed the door behind her neighbor, chaining the lock and turning out the light, but in spite of her exhaustion, it was a long time before she fell asleep.When her phone rang early the next morning, it took her three tries to get her hand on it, and she nearly pushed if off the end table and onto the floor before finally snagging it in her grip."This had better be a lawyer telling me I just inherited a million dollars," grumbled Roxy into the receiver."Roxy? It's David. Did I call too early?""What do you think?" she snapped, sitting up in bed to rub her eyes."Sorry; I just wanted to let you know it worked. Heather called me and wants to see me next Tuesday night. She was practically begging me on the phone to go out with her again.""Oh; Ah; That's good news, David. I'm glad to hear it; ""You don't sound very excited.""At this time of the morning, the only thing that would excite me is a big cup of coffee, or for you to hang up so I can sleep four more hours.""Right; Well, sorry to bother you I; I'll see you at work tomorrow."Roxy cut off the connection, laying back in her bed. Her mind drifted to the conversation of the previous night with Mrs. Foster. And try as she might, she couldn't get the thought of how handsome David had looked at the water park, out of her head. How comfortable she had been around him, and how perfect his lips had felt on hers."This is bullshit; He's just a kid, and I'm an idiot!" she tried to tell herself. But that didn't stop the pain that suddenly flared in her chest or the tears that started to flow down her face."Mommy? Why are you crying?" asked Emily appearing at the end of her bed with the same uncanny stealthiness that Roxy herself had displayed on more than one occasion."It's nothing, Baby. I just got something in my eye. Hey! You want waffles for breakfast?""Oh! I love waffles!" shouted Emily.Roxy wiped the tears from her eyes and followed her daughter into the kitchen, trying to put the phone call out of her head.The Measure of A Man.David pulled the comb through his hair again, annoyed at the stray hair in back that flatly refused to lay down. He slapped some cologne on his face and grabbed his keys off the bathroom counter."Where are you heading out looking so fine?" asked his Mom from the couch where she was reading a novel."I got a date with Heather," he said, stopping to tie his shoe."I thought you two broke up?""We did; but she's having second thoughts.""Good for you guys! I always thought you made a cute couple.""Thanks. I'll see you later," he said over his shoulder as he headed out the door.He found traffic to be a little heavier than usual for the time of night, and he slowed turning the radio on to relieve the boredom as he crawled forward. In the distance, a glowing billboard advertising the latest ride at Wave World dominated the skyline. A memory popped into his head unbidden; of Roxy walking toward him in her red bikini, the sunlight falling on her reddish hair, lighting it like a fiery halo. His heartbeat picked up as more images flashed through his mind, Roxy laying with her bare feet in a desert spring, Roxy breathing hard with excitement after their plunge down the slide, Roxy kissing him;"Shit!" he yelled as he slammed on the brakes nearly hitting the car in front of him that had come to a stop."What's a matter with me? This is ridiculous. A couple of kisses that didn't really mean anything and now I can't think straight."He resolved to put the bombshell woman out of his mind as traffic finally picked up and he exited a short time later pulling into Heather's neighborhood.The number of times he had pulled up into this same driveway were too numerous to count. He looked up at the big, white, two-story house, recalling all the parties and events he had attended here. He was just about to get out of the car when his cell phone rang, and to his surprise, it was Roxy's number on the display."Hello?" he said into the phone, wondering what she could want from him now. She knew he was going to be on his date with Heather tonight."David? It's Mrs. Foster.""Mrs. Foster? What are you doing with Roxy's phone?""Oh, she would be mad as a hornet if she knew I called you, but I felt like you should know. Emily had an accident today, and she's in the hospital.""What happened?" said David as a cold chill gripped him."She fell on the playground at her day camp. They think it might be a concussion, but they're not sure. We're at the hospital now. Roxy is pretty torn up about it, and she could use a friend. I told her to call you, but she wouldn't do it, so I got her phone out of her purse while she was at the nurse's station. I can't talk long she'll be back any second.""Which hospital are you in?""Park Side General. Oh! I have to go. I can't stay with her tonight, and she could use a shoulder. Todd is nowhere to be found.""I understand." David took another look up at the big house and then put his car in reverse even as he dialed Heather's number with his other hand."Heather? I'm sorry I'm going to have to cancel our date tonight."Roxy sat by her daughter's bedside, holding her tiny hand in hers, fighting back the tears that she knew would have only served to frighten the little girl. The doctors had assured her that the concussion was mild, and though they were going to hold her overnight for observation, she should be able to go home in the morning. The fear that had gripped her when the people at the day camp had called, hadn't been lessened by that prognosis, and she still felt it like a weight sitting on her heart."My head hurts, Mommy" whispered her little girl."I know, Baby. The nurse is going to be back in a minute to give you something to make it feel better."The door to the room opened, and Roxy turned expecting the nurse, wondering for a moment if the one time she had smoked a joint back in college was coming to haunt her; because it appeared that a giant Teddy bear was pushing its way into the room."You know they really should let you use the freight elevators when you have a load this big," said David as he carried the stuffed bear in front of him."David; Is that for me?" asked Emily, her headache forgotten for the moment."I thought we could call him, Bonk, after what you did to your noggin," said David grinning."I love Bonk!" said Emily, pressing her head to the enormous bears stomach after David situated it in the bed."Where did you find that monstrosity?" asked Roxy in surprise."In the gift shop. He looked lonely, and I thought I knew the perfect home for him.""I'm going to have to get a bigger apartment," she said in fake irritation as she pulled David aside."What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be with Heather, on your big date?""Yes, but Mrs. Foster called me and told me what happened. I canceled my date with Heather. We can still do it tomorrow night, no big deal.""I'm touched David, but you don't have to be here. Emily is going to be alright, and there's no reason for you to miss your date.""You're here alone," he observed."Yeah; I tried to call Todd, but I'm sure he is passed out under a pool table somewhere.""I'm not going to leave you alone in a big hospital, dealing with this by yourself. My date can wait.""David; You really don't have to be here," she insisted.He took her hand looking into her eyes, "Roxy, I'm right where I want to be."David looked so much older all of the sudden, like he had matured in front of her eyes, though she suspected a part of her had always seen him this way.She fought down another urge to cry as she hugged him close, whispering, "I'm glad you're here."He gave her a tight squeeze, drinking in the softness of her cheek on his, before he took a step back and smiled at Emily."Now!" said David dramatically, "who wants to hear a story about dragons!"Emily eventually got sleepy from the meds the nurse gave her and dozed off clinging to the soft fluffiness of the over-sized bear in her bed. Roxy sat next to her, stroking her hair."You look tired," said David in a low voice."It's been a long day," she admitted."Why don't you rest in the chair? I can watch over Emily for a while. I promise I'll wake you if anything happens.""I would argue, but I'm too tired," she admitted changing places with him.It wasn't easy to get comfortable in the narrow chair, but she managed to find a position that didn't hurt too badly. As she started to drift off, her last clear image was one of David holding Emily's hand and singing softly to her while she slept.In the morning, Roxy brought David a steaming cup of coffee, waking him from where he was dozing. They had changed places during the night, and though she had offered to let him go home, David had insisted on seeing things through, now that he was here."I'm pretty sure my boss will give me the day off," he said yawning before he curled up in the chair."Smart-ass!" she whispered.Emily was looking much perkier, and the doctors kept their word discharging her into her mother's care. David stayed with her while Roxy brought the car around to pick her up at the main entrance, and once she was buckled safely in the back seat, they shared another hug on the sidewalk."Thanks again for being here.""I was happy to do it. I thought after I get some rest I might stop by and check on her later. I could bring a pizza or something. What kind does she like?""Don't you have a date to worry about?""I can go out with Heather anytime.""If you wait too long she might lose interest and just stay with Alex," cautioned Roxy."If she holds me in no more regard than that, then she wasn't the right girl for me. Now about that pizza?""David; I don't want you to throw away all the effort we went too. Isn't this what you wanted?""I'm not sure anymore; I've been thinking about someone else lately."David was looking at her so intently it made her nervous like a girl about to be asked on a first date. She thought about what Mrs. Foster had said to her, but deep down, she wasn't convinced that this was the right thing for him. He was so young and had his whole life ahead of him to meet someone without the kind of baggage she was carrying. Someone closer to his age."I; I think you would be better off concentrating on Heather.""Is that what you want me to do?"Roxy swallowed hard. A part of her wanting to say, "No! I want you to be with me; " but she couldn't get over the feeling that she was being selfish."I need to go we're blocking the pickup spot. Enjoy your date tonight, David."She got into her car before he could say another word and pulled away from the curb. In her rearview mirror she could see him staring forlornly after her until she lost sight of him at the next turn.David stood on the now-empty sidewalk and sighed."I guess I was reading too much into this whole thing," he thought, but it had sure seemed to him that she was hesitating, that she wanted to say more. Still, she was right about one thing he couldn't keep Heather waiting indefinitely. He pulled his cell phone from his pocket, dialing her number."Hi, Heather. I'm sorry about last night. Do you have some time?"With his phone pressed to his ear, David began walking back to his car.Grove Glen Park had been the sight of he and Heathers first date after their hook up at Wave World, all those years ago,. And it seemed like the perfect place to talk. David parked his car in the visitor's lot, and walked down a long winding paved pathway, that ran between a pair of little league fields, and into a grove of trees, ending at a pond. Heather was sitting on a bench, flicking bread to a small crowd of ducks that waddled frantically around her legs.David stopped a dozen yards away just to watch. She looked so cute, dressed in a pair of denim shorts and wearing a loose-fitting white cotton top. Her laughter filled the air, reminding him of the picnic they had shared her three years ago. It had been a more innocent time, and he could never have foreseen how things would end up for them.A short distance away was Juniper Hill. There, on a summer night after they had celebrated Heathers eighteenth birthday that had come just one month after his own, they had made love for the first time. It had been a magical moment, about as romantic as a young couple could have hoped for, with the moonlight shining down on their naked bodies. They had waited until after the park closed, but there was still an element of risk, and he recalled how nervous he had been that they would get caught.Heather spotted him standing at the edge of the trail, and her face broke into a smile. "There you are! I was starting to think you were going to stand me up." She tossed her last piece of bread, and the ducks parted before her like she was royalty as she strode toward him."Heather," he said by way of greeting not trying to hug her or even offer his hand, not yet."I love this place. A lot of memories here." She said, in a sentimental tone.

Finally realizing the better options they both could choose..Based on a post by dark overlord 6, in 4 parts. Listen to the ► Podcast at Connected.Roxy closed the door behind her neighbor, chaining the lock and turning out the light, but in spite of her exhaustion, it was a long time before she fell asleep.When her phone rang early the next morning, it took her three tries to get her hand on it, and she nearly pushed if off the end table and onto the floor before finally snagging it in her grip."This had better be a lawyer telling me I just inherited a million dollars," grumbled Roxy into the receiver."Roxy? It's David. Did I call too early?""What do you think?" she snapped, sitting up in bed to rub her eyes."Sorry; I just wanted to let you know it worked. Heather called me and wants to see me next Tuesday night. She was practically begging me on the phone to go out with her again.""Oh; Ah; That's good news, David. I'm glad to hear it; ""You don't sound very excited.""At this time of the morning, the only thing that would excite me is a big cup of coffee, or for you to hang up so I can sleep four more hours.""Right; Well, sorry to bother you I; I'll see you at work tomorrow."Roxy cut off the connection, laying back in her bed. Her mind drifted to the conversation of the previous night with Mrs. Foster. And try as she might, she couldn't get the thought of how handsome David had looked at the water park, out of her head. How comfortable she had been around him, and how perfect his lips had felt on hers."This is bullshit; He's just a kid, and I'm an idiot!" she tried to tell herself. But that didn't stop the pain that suddenly flared in her chest or the tears that started to flow down her face."Mommy? Why are you crying?" asked Emily appearing at the end of her bed with the same uncanny stealthiness that Roxy herself had displayed on more than one occasion."It's nothing, Baby. I just got something in my eye. Hey! You want waffles for breakfast?""Oh! I love waffles!" shouted Emily.Roxy wiped the tears from her eyes and followed her daughter into the kitchen, trying to put the phone call out of her head.The Measure of A Man.David pulled the comb through his hair again, annoyed at the stray hair in back that flatly refused to lay down. He slapped some cologne on his face and grabbed his keys off the bathroom counter."Where are you heading out looking so fine?" asked his Mom from the couch where she was reading a novel."I got a date with Heather," he said, stopping to tie his shoe."I thought you two broke up?""We did; but she's having second thoughts.""Good for you guys! I always thought you made a cute couple.""Thanks. I'll see you later," he said over his shoulder as he headed out the door.He found traffic to be a little heavier than usual for the time of night, and he slowed turning the radio on to relieve the boredom as he crawled forward. In the distance, a glowing billboard advertising the latest ride at Wave World dominated the skyline. A memory popped into his head unbidden; of Roxy walking toward him in her red bikini, the sunlight falling on her reddish hair, lighting it like a fiery halo. His heartbeat picked up as more images flashed through his mind, Roxy laying with her bare feet in a desert spring, Roxy breathing hard with excitement after their plunge down the slide, Roxy kissing him;"Shit!" he yelled as he slammed on the brakes nearly hitting the car in front of him that had come to a stop."What's a matter with me? This is ridiculous. A couple of kisses that didn't really mean anything and now I can't think straight."He resolved to put the bombshell woman out of his mind as traffic finally picked up and he exited a short time later pulling into Heather's neighborhood.The number of times he had pulled up into this same driveway were too numerous to count. He looked up at the big, white, two-story house, recalling all the parties and events he had attended here. He was just about to get out of the car when his cell phone rang, and to his surprise, it was Roxy's number on the display."Hello?" he said into the phone, wondering what she could want from him now. She knew he was going to be on his date with Heather tonight."David? It's Mrs. Foster.""Mrs. Foster? What are you doing with Roxy's phone?""Oh, she would be mad as a hornet if she knew I called you, but I felt like you should know. Emily had an accident today, and she's in the hospital.""What happened?" said David as a cold chill gripped him."She fell on the playground at her day camp. They think it might be a concussion, but they're not sure. We're at the hospital now. Roxy is pretty torn up about it, and she could use a friend. I told her to call you, but she wouldn't do it, so I got her phone out of her purse while she was at the nurse's station. I can't talk long she'll be back any second.""Which hospital are you in?""Park Side General. Oh! I have to go. I can't stay with her tonight, and she could use a shoulder. Todd is nowhere to be found.""I understand." David took another look up at the big house and then put his car in reverse even as he dialed Heather's number with his other hand."Heather? I'm sorry I'm going to have to cancel our date tonight."Roxy sat by her daughter's bedside, holding her tiny hand in hers, fighting back the tears that she knew would have only served to frighten the little girl. The doctors had assured her that the concussion was mild, and though they were going to hold her overnight for observation, she should be able to go home in the morning. The fear that had gripped her when the people at the day camp had called, hadn't been lessened by that prognosis, and she still felt it like a weight sitting on her heart."My head hurts, Mommy" whispered her little girl."I know, Baby. The nurse is going to be back in a minute to give you something to make it feel better."The door to the room opened, and Roxy turned expecting the nurse, wondering for a moment if the one time she had smoked a joint back in college was coming to haunt her; because it appeared that a giant Teddy bear was pushing its way into the room."You know they really should let you use the freight elevators when you have a load this big," said David as he carried the stuffed bear in front of him."David; Is that for me?" asked Emily, her headache forgotten for the moment."I thought we could call him, Bonk, after what you did to your noggin," said David grinning."I love Bonk!" said Emily, pressing her head to the enormous bears stomach after David situated it in the bed."Where did you find that monstrosity?" asked Roxy in surprise."In the gift shop. He looked lonely, and I thought I knew the perfect home for him.""I'm going to have to get a bigger apartment," she said in fake irritation as she pulled David aside."What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be with Heather, on your big date?""Yes, but Mrs. Foster called me and told me what happened. I canceled my date with Heather. We can still do it tomorrow night, no big deal.""I'm touched David, but you don't have to be here. Emily is going to be alright, and there's no reason for you to miss your date.""You're here alone," he observed."Yeah; I tried to call Todd, but I'm sure he is passed out under a pool table somewhere.""I'm not going to leave you alone in a big hospital, dealing with this by yourself. My date can wait.""David; You really don't have to be here," she insisted.He took her hand looking into her eyes, "Roxy, I'm right where I want to be."David looked so much older all of the sudden, like he had matured in front of her eyes, though she suspected a part of her had always seen him this way.She fought down another urge to cry as she hugged him close, whispering, "I'm glad you're here."He gave her a tight squeeze, drinking in the softness of her cheek on his, before he took a step back and smiled at Emily."Now!" said David dramatically, "who wants to hear a story about dragons!"Emily eventually got sleepy from the meds the nurse gave her and dozed off clinging to the soft fluffiness of the over-sized bear in her bed. Roxy sat next to her, stroking her hair."You look tired," said David in a low voice."It's been a long day," she admitted."Why don't you rest in the chair? I can watch over Emily for a while. I promise I'll wake you if anything happens.""I would argue, but I'm too tired," she admitted changing places with him.It wasn't easy to get comfortable in the narrow chair, but she managed to find a position that didn't hurt too badly. As she started to drift off, her last clear image was one of David holding Emily's hand and singing softly to her while she slept.In the morning, Roxy brought David a steaming cup of coffee, waking him from where he was dozing. They had changed places during the night, and though she had offered to let him go home, David had insisted on seeing things through, now that he was here."I'm pretty sure my boss will give me the day off," he said yawning before he curled up in the chair."Smart-ass!" she whispered.Emily was looking much perkier, and the doctors kept their word discharging her into her mother's care. David stayed with her while Roxy brought the car around to pick her up at the main entrance, and once she was buckled safely in the back seat, they shared another hug on the sidewalk."Thanks again for being here.""I was happy to do it. I thought after I get some rest I might stop by and check on her later. I could bring a pizza or something. What kind does she like?""Don't you have a date to worry about?""I can go out with Heather anytime.""If you wait too long she might lose interest and just stay with Alex," cautioned Roxy."If she holds me in no more regard than that, then she wasn't the right girl for me. Now about that pizza?""David; I don't want you to throw away all the effort we went too. Isn't this what you wanted?""I'm not sure anymore; I've been thinking about someone else lately."David was looking at her so intently it made her nervous like a girl about to be asked on a first date. She thought about what Mrs. Foster had said to her, but deep down, she wasn't convinced that this was the right thing for him. He was so young and had his whole life ahead of him to meet someone without the kind of baggage she was carrying. Someone closer to his age."I; I think you would be better off concentrating on Heather.""Is that what you want me to do?"Roxy swallowed hard. A part of her wanting to say, "No! I want you to be with me; " but she couldn't get over the feeling that she was being selfish."I need to go we're blocking the pickup spot. Enjoy your date tonight, David."She got into her car before he could say another word and pulled away from the curb. In her rearview mirror she could see him staring forlornly after her until she lost sight of him at the next turn.David stood on the now-empty sidewalk and sighed."I guess I was reading too much into this whole thing," he thought, but it had sure seemed to him that she was hesitating, that she wanted to say more. Still, she was right about one thing he couldn't keep Heather waiting indefinitely. He pulled his cell phone from his pocket, dialing her number."Hi, Heather. I'm sorry about last night. Do you have some time?"With his phone pressed to his ear, David began walking back to his car.Grove Glen Park had been the sight of he and Heathers first date after their hook up at Wave World, all those years ago,. And it seemed like the perfect place to talk. David parked his car in the visitor's lot, and walked down a long winding paved pathway, that ran between a pair of little league fields, and into a grove of trees, ending at a pond. Heather was sitting on a bench, flicking bread to a small crowd of ducks that waddled frantically around her legs.David stopped a dozen yards away just to watch. She looked so cute, dressed in a pair of denim shorts and wearing a loose-fitting white cotton top. Her laughter filled the air, reminding him of the picnic they had shared her three years ago. It had been a more innocent time, and he could never have foreseen how things would end up for them.A short distance away was Juniper Hill. There, on a summer night after they had celebrated Heathers eighteenth birthday that had come just one month after his own, they had made love for the first time. It had been a magical moment, about as romantic as a young couple could have hoped for, with the moonlight shining down on their naked bodies. They had waited until after the park closed, but there was still an element of risk, and he recalled how nervous he had been that they would get caught.Heather spotted him standing at the edge of the trail, and her face broke into a smile. "There you are! I was starting to think you were going to stand me up." She tossed her last piece of bread, and the ducks parted before her like she was royalty as she strode toward him."Heather," he said by way of greeting not trying to hug her or even offer his hand, not yet."I love this place. A lot of memories here." She said, in a sentimental tone.

For many people in the world, believing in God may not necessarily be a far reach. But believing in Jesus? Furthermore, believing that it was necessary for Jesus to die in order for us to receive forgiveness of sins? That, they would say, is a step too far. In this week's message from Exodus 11–13, Pastor J.D. takes us through the story of the Passover, showing us the mercy of God for the Israelites. Ultimately, this mercy would find expression in Jesus, the true Passover Lamb and our only hope of forgiveness.

Send us a Text Message.GROW  Greatness Reached over Oppression through Wisdom “May I help you” The Man in the shipping office gruffly said as he glared at meI was in a sundowner town but the Sun was just coming upCarry Peace and the Love of God“Yes you may,” I replied cheerfully, “I'm here to pickup my paperwork for my load”He proceeded to show me the basket, his demeanor softening a bitHe felt my energy and I felt his  Positive meets NegativeWe shared small talk regarding the invoice and Soon he broke free of the chains of hate, he looked past the color of my skinHe was laughing and joking with meHe told me where to go to get my trailer, up the road, just two right turnsMake two right turns, don't go left were my directions“If you make two right turns, you won't go wrong,”  he advised, smiling at meI turned towards him as I headed out the door“If we go Right on this Journey, we'll GROW” I left him with a final Positive thought       

Have you ever wondered what a religion rooted in puritanism, that fully embodies purity culture and modesty, really believes about sex and sexuality? Have you ever struggled to link the "premarital sex is sin" belief to the "married sex is awesome" one? Biblical sexology just might be the key. Coined by the anonymous (yet all too familiar) Larry Solomon, the idea of biblical sexology is rooted in misogynistic gender roles and ideas about the interactions between married men and women. It also creates a loophole for Evangelicals to openly enjoy sex, which leads to some pretty interesting beliefs, statements, and conclusions. In Part 5, we are once again discussing Larry “Geriatric Incel” Solomon's idea of what makes a good wife, at least within the context of the couple's sex life. Larry has big opinions about how, when, and where women should make themselves available to their husbands—and the sacrifices women should willingly make in order to satisfy their husbands' sexual whims. And if a woman has the apparent audacity to exercise her bodily autonomy and control over her own body and time? Well, that's a sin that shows disobedience—and, by extension, disloyalty—not only to her husband but to God himself. Get ready to rage a little with me, because in this one, Larry takes encouragement from another (allegedly) very real woman who has implemented his teachings... and uses it to challenge wives everywhere to do the same! Hold on tight. The Divorced Virgin Project For more information and to join the course, ⁠⁠⁠click here⁠⁠⁠. Follow Mindy at @thedivorcedvirgin and @thedivorcedvirginproject on Instagram. If you like what you hear, don't forget to rate and review on your preferred listening platform! Join the community on Instagram at @runaway_eve. I'm always open to topic suggestions, ideas, and any other ways you want to collaborate.

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Enter The Multiverse x Legends x LOSC x Acension x Deathwish x Secret President x Gerald's Workd x Tales of A Superstar DJ x The Suite Life of Sunnï Blū / The Secret Life of Sunnï Blū ... did I miss something? probably oh well. so far, on all these shows: [The Legend Returns] Really Bad Mixtape (Might as well get it out of the way now) Killst_rr (Instrumental) Sleep Deprivation Sequence You're not you when you're not you. Hoe_math Exactly what it sounds like. [UnderWorld.] R-R 1 -rarity. [i Come Undone.] AtPLAY Live Mix [Autopilot.] {A Star Is Born.} For fear of fire; Best not to wander off, With no back track– Might have forgotten the rest, but It wasn't a poem, or part of a song At least, not yet Fuck man. I really want to sample this. Can't sample deadmau5; he's a bitch about paperwork. You cant technically say that. I mean, I technically didnd't. Just let your fingers do the talking. Ooh, look at that one. What are you doing. Some online shopping. For what. A man-thing. You're better off letting your back end Handle the conversation Then again, When in search of a venue Anything with the proper connections And stereo systems Will do in the moment. What do you want? To get rid of my hiccups. That's it: *huccups* yu-p. Wow, that's– Have you ever thought about just– I've thought about just about everything–that's how you got here. I'm gonna go ahead and admit–there's too much going on in my head. It's a lot. I'm gonna need a nap. GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME. *sheath/ swoard* Is that the sword of skrillex. Yeus. Give it to me. *stabs in thigh* Oooh. Not the balls! fair. Around the world we go Around we go again Here we are Oh no, It's the same song Over and over I'd like you to love to today (I'd love to forget for a moment I haven't) I know before long, we get older and older All wrong, It's the same one, Over and over. Have you seen my butt plugs? NO! GROSS. It's alright. I'll just pick some up on the way. AGGH. Better yet, can you just put in the order on amazon AmAZoN. Yes. (I'm so happy Amazon has anal plugs.) Please stop now. You're being a baby about this–just- You know what. Nevermind. I'll do it myself. Please do that. Siri– Oh my God. Alexa–reorder from Amazon. Come on focus. …hmm…now what was I doing? A B L E T O N *spinning rainbow wheel of doom* …seems like it was something. Come on….FOCUS. Hm. When's the last time you had a marshmello. Flashback: [BONFIRE: Burning The Skrillex] *Also making smores* CUT BACK TO: Like never, I'm vegan. PASQUALE WAKE. UP. Holy shit. It's you again. It's always me. Last time you were like 26. Well, now i'm this age. Wait, how old are you. Wouldn't you like to know. There's a lot of things i'd like to know about you, Pasquale, that's not even near the top of the list. Speaking of “top of the list”-- I do have a lot of things to do today. Oh yeah, what's that? I don't know. A bunch of crap. Speaking of crap– This is a lot of speaking. Happy Birthday. What is this. It's Captain Crunch. Yes it is. What is it doing in my lap. That's your lunch. I–no, it isn't. It is. No, i'm vegan. Well, that's the “happy” part in “happy birthday” No… Yes, actually. This is – It is– Vegan. Damn. Jinx. You owe me a Pererier. Shut up. Or a LaCroix. I'll taka a LaCroix. You're so LA. I guess that makes you Beverly Hills– Or Pacific Palisades. Is that Annexed. It is “LA” What else is in this? No animal product… “Yellow 6” It reads! What happened to yellow 1-5? A whole story. Yes, but not a whole food. “Yellow 6?!” That's the chemical complex you need to find yourself in the right dimension. Exactly. What's wrong with this dimension? What isn't? I'm in it! You're in it! Like I said. What– Just eat it. Ugh– happy trails. *disappears* Ugh. I gave that dude too much money. Fuck, what was I doing again. Deadmau5. Uhm, no i was– Deadmau5. Deadmau5. OOOOOH> YES. I KNOW IT'S YOU, YOU SLIMY MOTHERFUCKER. Stop it. YOU STOP IT. I KNOW IT'S YOU. Who is it? STOP IT. Stop–doing that. I know you're deadmau5. I most certainly am not. I know its you. I have boobs. How did you do this. I did–n't. That's right. Fuck, what happened. Nothin. Now I gotta kill my stupid brother. You have a brother?! SKRILLEX. GET IN HERE. Fuck, run. I gotta go. Go where. Uhm. Somewhere else. DILLON, THIS ISN'T FUNNY ANYMORE. IT WAS NEVER FUNNY. (It was funny to me.) God does have a sense of humor. AHAH–AHAHA–HAHAHA. As it turns out, not the absolute best sense of humor. Oh—he's okay! He's okay! No, he's dead. He's definitely dead. But a sense of humor, nonetheless. Fuck man. What did you do to Dillon Francis. Nothing. I just got him drunk On what?! Cyanide? Okay, I don't even know what that is. He's a corpse. –but a pretty one. C'mon. Be serious. I can't. Why not. It's hilarious, kinda. This isn't funny. No, it's hilarious. He earned it. He “earned” it? Well, yes– He is dead. I mean, it's a long story; but he brought it upon himself, honestly. “Honestly” Please. PLease. Please. No, I said. PLEASE. I SAID NO. What's this story. That's ten. I win. Fuck. DILLOn WAkE UP. *smacks* ahah. I think it's working I think he's waking up. He's not waking up. He must be. He's laughing. He's not laughing He said “haha' *smacks* haha . See. *smacks* Mm. This shit smacks HONEY SMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCKKKKKKSSSS. Oh shit, is this the 90s. HONEY SMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCKKKKSSS. *slams* GIMMIE MY HONEY SMACKS. That's it. There's no more. AW, COME ON. Sorry, that's all there is. WHAT. But yu can have captain crunch. I DON'T WANT CAPTAIN CRUNCH. I WANT HONEY SMACKS. I'm sorry, there are no more Honey Smacks. You can have Captain Crunch, or Shredded Wheat. GRAMPA Shredded Wheat is MY favorite. Ugh. Mm. Honey Smacks. I HATE YOU. Be nice to your brother. Lol. Everything about Dillon's eyes makes him devastating. Who plays tiny Dillon? I don't know. There are like nine in the script. It shouldn't be hard to cast. We'll go to utah. Fucking. I hate Utah. WELCOME TO UTAH. Nice. Alright, well, what other grounds are there to cover, here? DILLOn FRANCIS I am not doing this project. Of course you are–it's in your contract. What contract. The one you signed. Which–no–I didn't. But you did. SUNNI BLU I got you a drink. DILLON FRANCIS That looks fruity. SUNNI BLU Try it. DILLON FRANCIS *sips* DILLON FRANCIS CONT'D What's in this. Just– drink it. SUNNI BLU Don't look at me like that. DILLOn FRANCIS Like what. SUNNI BLU Do you need a mirror? DILLON FRANCIS I– SUNNI BLU Look down. DILLON FRANCIS *does* SUNNI BLU *flicking nose* Made you look. haha . DILLOn FRANCIS Wow. [takes drink] SUNNI BLUThat's the spirit. But literally there's a mirror between your feet, if you need one. [there literally is] SUNNI BLU CONT'D The floor is made of mirrors DILLOn FRANCIS *suddenly inebriated* Oh wow. SUNNI BLU The whole club turns into a disco ball. DILLON FRANCIS *suddenly very inebriated* That's–convenient. SUNNI BLU It is. SHIA DON'T LET YOUR DREAMS BE DREAMS. If my dreams were not just dreams, everyone in here would have a lawsuit against me. A lot of us do. Carry on, then. SKRILLEX BLAIGH. Oh shit, its you again. I swear to God, I thought I killed this nigga. Are you sure it was him? SKRILLEX !!!! No. Alright, i've almost got it. Almost got what. This whole– thing. Oh. –and–it's gone. Really, that quick. I don't think you understand what's happening. You're right, i don't understand what's happening at all. Oh shit. I'm deadmau5. Nice. Fuck it, lets do some trolling. Alright alright. BUT FIRST, COFFEE. Fuck dude, I don't think I should have anymore coffee. Too late. deadmau5. ok . Deadmau5. Nice. D–0 DOn'T D o THis, I'M WARNING YOU. …. If you open that portal, there's no going back. *opens portal* Now you've done it. *goes into portal* Fuck. *portal closes neatly* *facepalm* *entire series of cosmos collapse in the great distance–time begins to stretch and bend uncontrollably* Come on, just let me lick the balls. NO. I'll give you a cookie. well … OH my GAWD. What. Come here, you have to see this. What the fuck is that. I don't know. Should i pick it up? No, don't touch it! He picked it up. Oh, gross. What is this. I don't know. I think it's fanfiction. Who wrote it. Idk. somefangirl. Fangurl. FaNGiRls. Well, Hey, at least i'm not a groupie. OH COME ON, JUST LET ME SUCK IT. GET AWAY FROM ME. PLEASE. i'LL GIVE YOU $40. -well. NOW, A COMMERCIAL BREAK. Since when does this show have commercials. It doesn't. I want to talk to Jimmy Fallon. That's–not happening. Why not. JIMMY FALLON BECAUSE I HAVE A CONTRACT WITH NBC. There he is– Nice. JIMMY FALLON YOU MOTHERFUCKER. I AM A FAMILY MAN, OKAY. Is that like Family Guy? By Chance?! SETH MCFARLENE (with super long hair) *crossing fingers* I'm hoping so. JIMMY FALLON Not even close! SETH MCFARLENE *snaps* Dammit. Oh, I get it. It's like–The Cofffee run Which “coffee run” THE coffee run. We'll have to admit, it's probably the most watched coffee run of all time. Of all of them. You know what? Fuck it, fire me. I'm doing this show. What?! JImmy. Why on EARTH would you ever agree to something like this. JIMMY FALLON THE COSMIC AVENGER Because–it's my duty. Yo. You know that song that everybody knows? You know the song because everybody knows this song. It goes: Lovin you– is easy cause youre beautiful. do - do- do - do- do- do- do… Yeah. You know that song. But you probably don't know who sings it. I'll tell you who sings it. That song is by an artist called Minnie Ripperton. That's a mouthful. Yeah, one hell of a name, huh. Well, that's the lady who sings the song. It's Minnie Riperton. Now, let me tell you something else you probably don't know: Something I probably wouldn't know if I wasn't a DJ But i know this, because I'm a DJ AND MAYA RUDOLPH WAUT A MINUTE. What the fuck, Maya Rudoph, are you doing in my bathroom at 5 AM It's 1:15 in the afternoon. I'm a DJ. It's 5 AM. That's making sense. I know it is. What's not making sense. Is why you're in my bathroom drinking a milkshake. It's a strawberry milkshake. So it is. *slurps milkshake* *sitting on toilet* *slurps* What do you want. You want to know what I want? Apparently, a milkshake. It's a strawberry milkshake. OK. OK. OK so what. Finish the script. –What? Fuck dude, how does this song sound good every time? Congratulations, you've gone entirely insane. beep-boop . [DJ] B00p beep. [Music Producer] Beep-beep. 0.c. Do not fall dangerously in love; Do not pass go Do not collect $200 Or any of it For any reason, For any of it For any of them Just keep it pushin; Just keep it private Just hold it all in and Do not let go Do not fall in love Do not pass go Do not unload Do not walk Do not cross here Do not It smells like butter. But you're vegan. I know. Do you think you're having a stroke. God, I fucking hope so. GOD You WHAT. I want to die. GOD I thought i heart you right. You heard me right–a THOUSAND times. I want to die. Take me out of this life. GOD Not until you make dubstep. WHAT. GOD You gotta make a grammy-winning dubstep album. I what. GOD Or at least nominated. No, I don't. GOD Beg your pardon. I'm not begging. GOD What are you getting at, hon? Look; Am I not one with the source? GOD Uhm–you are. Alright, Then: everything is everything. GOD Yes. And everyone is everyone. GOD This is true. So i'm Skrillex. GOD Skrillex is Skrillex So I Am. GOD … And I already won a grammy. GOD … Like a bunch of them, right. GOD Uh. So technically– GOD YOu know what. I can't argue with that logic. This isn't ableton. No. This is Logic. What the fuck. That's not Serato. No, that's Rekordbox. What the fuck is this. These are CDJs. There's no hot cues! What the fuck is a “HOT CUE” This is not food. What the fucking sauce. I'm warning you, Pasquale. Get off my lawn. THIS IS MY HOUSE. Your house it is not. *House music starts blasting* *lasers* sprinklers* dancers* WHAT THE FUCK. It's voice activated, I just– How did you do this?! What. WHAT DID YOu DO. AND WHEN. I don't know! I just took the delorean, like you said. You were supposed to find Dillon Francis. I did! The problem was, when I found the right one, he was dead! What? He's dead? Presumably! What do you mean by that!? It's a long story! WELL, HOW LONG? SUNNI BLU About as long as my dick! WHO IS THAT. I told you it's a long story. Well, let me in! Sorry Pasquale. No Can do. What. Why not. Cause you're on a federal watch list. What. Yeah. Sorry. Wait… You should probably leave before the feds get here. What? Unless you want to stay and party on the lawn but–not recommended. This is bizarre. The police arrive, surrounding Pasquale on the yard–moving in to arrest him. WAIT. SUPACREE turns away from the window; inside, a room full of her aliases sit looking somewhat miserably; SUPACREE!!! [Pasquale is handcuffed and i dragged off of the lawn] SUPACREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! Careless, Acoustic–deadmau5 SUPACREE pours a bowl of captain crunch, taking one colossal bite and sits down in THE CONTROL ROOM at a large computer console; inhaling from a can of nitrous oxide. I'm the worst DJ ever. SUPACREE places the fames deadmau5 helmet atop her head and begins working at the computer promptly, clicking away; Now is deadmau5 I don't even know what key this song is in. MEOWINGTONS, Alive and well purrs and stretches, then settles atop SUPACREE/deadmau5's lap. This is insane. I don't know what's happening. END CREDITS. V. O. Lovin' You, Minnie Ripperton Carless, deadmau5 idk how i'm gonna mix that. Trust me. Anything can be mixed. Anything. [When it] Turns out, The bottom of your heart Was the tip of the Ice Berg And the whole ship has [s]unk[en], [&] I[t]'s probably ice cold At the bottom of the ocean; I'll tell you where i'm from Why, I'll tell you anything for About one dollar Turns out, I've already got one eye on you; One eye'd sad heart I should probably roll out my art on you [I probably should not] One man bought a kiss, Another, a whole night from her– One man bought a whole farm The other, a Whole Foods Market –and you can't even franchise those Amazon's got a monopoly We were playing for corners of earth, All i got was some kandi, Subscriptions to candidly, Actually, I really liked the tree trial (I think i'll wait a week, sorry) When it turns out The world that you wanted Was actually hours already The dollar you got Was also borrowed And the money they wanted and got Was just actually stolen from someone else They bought all the food up And sold it for profits I promise this avocado Once costs nothing at all But you wanted that car for your daughter She's got a mercedes and don't even drive it My mom, on my honor Of all the garages in Lost Lands, I promise the owner of it was The first to go last, And the last to come home Now he's on his own alter And also the worshiper; How do you go back? Oh, you don't Oh you don't Oh, you don't wanna know that But i was of course, All of your rock bottoms It's bottoms and tops, and We don't let the top fall over, We're counting up crumbs And this muffin costs $24 dollars Pour a whole bottle of coconut water out on the sidewalks For the dead homies Not dead in the general sense But just in the head, the heart, And the soul The homeless are happier at McDonalds Than asking at crossroads and crosswalks For dollars I'd rather spend elsewhere I'll avoid the power struggle at operations for about 18 dollars and 56 sense (Please, keep the pennies) I'm feeling around in my 6th sense that there's Something indecent, or decadent Whichever it is Cause i'm better of with the memory of it Than actually dragging it in. –I'm a cat again. Ouch. Shut up. It HURTS. Of course it hurts, you just had heart surgery without any anistetics. YEah, but to be fair–that was a lot of acid. Yes, but lucily for you– –or, for him– Lucily for us, there's no lethal amount of acid. –Ouch– –Shut up. That we know of. George Washington John Adams Thomas Jefferson James Monroe Nope, can't for the life of me remember the 5th Oh shit, I was wrong Turns out, my memory only can hold three. That's a good number I really wish you'd stop just–showing up like this. I never leave. Then go away. I live here. I know you'd like to think that, but– Okay, I'm going to tell you something but I need you to remain calm. What time is it? I don't care Are we gonna make a movie? Depends; is it gonna make me money. FINE. I don't need anymore information about anything else: only these three. Are you serious? I wish I wasn't. I need you to do this. Look, Timmy–I'm not really into grantng wishes anymore. It always blows back on me. A blowjob. Uh huh. That's why you're bothering me. I–would rather you just pick up the call. Take a message. I like ‘em like this. I like ‘em like that. I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. And I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. Mmm like that. Like that. I like ‘em like this. I like ‘em like that. I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. And I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. Mmm like this Like that. Like — _____ The urge to eat had suddenly left me I wanted a burrito, (But I want to eat red meat) I've gotta stop thinking in sequences and parentheses Complex lines, and writing in past tense so presently. I probably should eat (But probably shouldn't…) I'm starting to bleed; As if i'd been fasting Perhaps, though I had been But had so indulgently feasted On calories enough to last me Till after today (or even till next week) PAY ATTENTION. Woah, to WHAT. Holy shit, I knew this dude was a psychopath but. This is real. ARE YOU SEEING THIS. I “see” it. I should stop meditating in public. You see this? I know everything about you. Why? I bought it on the internet. What is it. Metadata. That's…flattering. Yeah. Wake up. Why, where are we going? Atlanta. What's in Atlanta? You see this? Yes. Do you know what it is? Uh, it's a– What is it? It's a doll. It's not a doll. Oh, it's not. Gimmie a dollar. -_- It's a poppit. “Dr pimple popper” Ew that's fucking gross. I hate this. Let me see. Does s/he have backne? Yes/No. Great, i'll take it. Fuckit. Okay, I got to “whatever”. You went too far. What? I thought I was supposed to go past “fuckit” Yeah, you go past fuckit, I did that! But if you get to “whatever”, you've gone too far. You've gotta go back. Back to WHAT. There was almost no space between “fuckit” and “whatever” Oh trust me. There is. So? This is how he's been controlling you. And? And!? Has it ever occurred to you that I want to be controlled? What! That it just takes the right person to get that kind of permission– permission to what Permission to ride. … Maybe I gave him the reigns. What horse “gives” its rider the reigns. Who said anything about a horse?! Another Horse Mix. Nice. fuck . FYCK. I told you. You know what…Maybe that's my poppit. What. Maybe. I'm so confused. Oh, good–the reversal spell worked. You did a reversal spell on me? Only after I found out what spell you put on ME–FIRST. Yeah, except I wasn't the first one to use that spell on you. EXACTLY. COPY-CAT. Moo. Aww. I'm a cat. … *face* I mean “meow” That's right. Cat. …moo. *face* Lookie here boys: What is it? –I'm leaving. Oh, you're gonna wanna hear this. What. I found the first “whites only” water fountain since 1962. Okay, what do you want? A deal. Oh, I'll give you a deal. Cash up front. [He presents a one dollar bill] Is this enough. [beat] Where are you going with this? Nowhere, fast. YO. What now, dude. SHE'S ONTO US. I doubt that. Look at this. I highly doubt– *gaaassp* Shenanigans! You know what I like about you, Ariana? Everything. Hah. Hm. You know how to keep a secret. I don't know what you're talking about. Exactly. *rolls eyes, flips hair.* Well, here's another one for you. –Another what? This is how my darkness becomes your darkness. I already have enough on my own. I know. You don't know. Only God knows. MOM! Don't ask me again. This is heavy, Doc. What is it? The soup! It's too heavy. Too much cream? Way too much! I have a meeting! Meeting with who? The Hollywood People. When? Soon–what time is it? I don't know. Dammit! Why don't you have any clocks in your house? I only just recently remembered what a clock was. Oh! Here. [God produces a small pocket watch and presents it to him; it's nearly noon on EARTH; But the two are sharing a meal of course in the famed kitchen of the Creator in the TImeless VOID.] Ah, Jesus Christ! He's not here… I'm gonna be late. Now, now; You know I wouldn't let that happen– [a smug look| Hugs and Kisses. [As they embrace, he disappears into a mist of light and stardust, fading away from the void and into the exterior world; he realizes God has slipped him the watch; he flips it open to reveal the time: it is now 11:44] Amazing. V.O. Now you won't wait so long to visit. [He places the wach in his pocket and walks into the studio] MICHAEL J. FOX has been asked to reprise his role as MARTY MCFLY many times before; But never for a project like this. ____ Meanwhile, What am I going to do with you? [The Festival Project.™] YOU'RE DEAD TO ME! –I'm dead to everyone! Don't do this. You wanted to come to the other side. No, I didn't. We'll you're here anyway; Might as well stay awhile. With eyes like burning fire And saddles for the riders The horse begins to gallop (or the horses, rather) On the mark to beating drums To move them forward faster What the fuck is this. idk. Kx5. *-* !_! Here u go Wat is this. it's a dragon. Oh, thats nice. Ya. Whats it do. Idk. dragon things. ok. Don't put it in ur bathroom. Why. idrk. Hm. † Hey. Ugh–No, Kaskade, go away. It's me, Ryan! No, Get out! I'm No† Ka–k (gags) –skade! Gross! It's just Ryan! I promise! NO. GET OUT. Lmfao. Right. This show is fantastic. Who was that. Fucking–Kaskade again! Are you sure. Ugh. Looks like Ryan. Kaskade is Kaskade. {shrugs] Dudes a creep. “Kaskade Ruins Lives” Is this the same episode as before? Eventually, yes. Wasn't I doing something Are you goona let this go? Um. Well I'm fucked. Why, what happened. Obsidian. That should do Unsobsidian. Okay, i'm fucked, Well, what's this? An Oreo Cookie. I mean, sitting next to it. Oh, its a portal gun. Raves are not just raves– A party is not simply a “party” –These big festivals –they're diversions. –DIstractions. Distractions from what. If you were supposed to know, –you'd know. it wouldn't be so important that you go. Why is it? These ancient rituals… It's occult magic. They've got it down to a science. The government funds this. The government funds everything. WoooooooW. It's not really a secret, if you can google it. ‘-complications.' I'm lost somewhere, gone HIppopatamus feeling quite off in the galaxies, galavanting Gazing at Daisies Aces and spades Gone from Heaven to Hades for days On the A– Adjacent Recently dismantling adjectives, Lampshades and matching curtains God it hurts, every day that I think about you; But how can i be about you when You don't even see me, do you Signature consignments, Wrong environments and irony is, I wasn't invited– –but invented it WHY IS IT ALWAYS CHRISTMAS?! BEcause, you're in a movie. WHAT. You're stuck in a Hollywood movie. The Master Sorcerer Of the Grand Illusion You just want it so bad You don't know what you're in for Inquenchable Thirst for knowledge Insatiable Sexual Appetite Great, now I have to explain myself. You don't have to. What's this space for? Oh, that's the red room. [The Red Room] Well, obviously, but– But what? What's it for? I don't think anybody should read this. HEY. Participation Only– Oh! No peeking! You ever feel like you're doing too much? Yeah, but not for money. Look, we have them surrounded. Our best course of action is to– deadmau5 . What? No– DEADMAU5. Well, are you sure it was a mouse and not a rat? It was a mouse. I know the difference. Do you, though? Look, I've lived in Mexico and New York City. So. In Queens. Oh. That's mathematically impossible. I mean it's not–impossible. No, it's not just impossible. It's mathematically impossible. Has it ever occurred to you that the DJ World in entirety exists outside of the realm of math and science? What is this. Just–enjoy the rave. No. What is this. Look at the firewoooorkkks! Woo EDC… NO. What is this right here. BEFORE: Hey, you still got that balloon? Yeah. Lemme see it. Dude, what are you doing? …I'mma go catch me a DJ. THIS IS NUTS. I can't feel my face. What do you call this? Collateral Damage. Look, I'm going to have to take frequent trips to the bathroom. ok . And–uhh– and. Uhh– Why did you call me over here. Cause i can. Look. this is not magic. This is not science. This is not “voodoo” Voodoo is magic. It's just music. W H E R E D I D H E G O O O O O I don't know. Fuck dude, I fucked up. Once again– Of course you did. What did you do this time? I might have evaporated someone with my fat fucking bass. Nice. Way to go. Yeah. Wait. … Did you just say. HE JUST He deserted me. SO WAIT, YOU'RE JUST GONNA LEAVE ME HERE? ALRIGHT, WHO THREW A ROCKSTAR IN MY TENT? JEFF Alright, lets go. WHO DID THIS. So what's this place. Lets not let this conversation resurface. This is a 21 Plus Event. What about VIP VIP is 25 Plus. What about that place. Sorry kids. [NO ENTRY] We gotta get in there. So then they wanted an Encore. Did you give them an encore? NO, i was already at my hotel room. Then how did you know that they wanted an encore? WHICH IS IT, THE WYNN, OR THE ENCORE. FUCK, I DON'T REMEMBER. Please, who stays at the Encore for EDC? Have you literally never been out with rich people? No, I literally just got rich. Oh, nice. So, wait, like– Here we go. Dillon Francis has just always been rich? Uh-huh. And Skrillex has always been rich? Yes. Definitely. And deadmau5. deadmau5 is Canadian. OH MY GOD. W E L C O M E I'm going to need your absolute discretion about this. Alright. Sign this waiver. …this is a…pretty heavy packet. I'll wait. I've never signed an NDA like that in my life. Lil' biiiiiiiiiiiiiitzzzz Can we just admit it's weird that we live in an era where “NDA” is household jargon. And like, everyone knows what it means. Everyone knows what an NDA is. I appreciate the sentiments Isn't it weird how it sets in automatically? Autopilot, go. Aww, i don't want to be Autopilot. You're on autopilot. I don't really have to think about it anymore, I'll have to sleep on it Wear a white t-shift, Hear the applause of the audience, Eat it You wanna know what I think? You want to know what I'm drinking? You know what I need? An Icee, (cause I see you typing) An awful Omnipotence A God of Mirages No more carbohydrates, I gotta get all thin; Forgot to acknowledge Whether or not i'm turning this off soon I are. I…”are” I are. Infinite Reality. OH. I. R. IR! IR! IRV I ARE. Suddenly, I remember the taste of talcum powder As If I were Moving backwards In time, Like, Why, God on earth would My mom let me try that, But if i'm honest, Fuck man, I hate deadmau5– There's just too much in here. Beep boop. I love deadmau5. It's so simple. What is this, MATH?! THIS IS AERODYNAMICS. WHAT THE FUCK ARE AERO DYNAMICS DId you mean what you said about that? I meant everything I said. Goddammit, fuck this, I was in the middle of a really complex poem In realtime, listening to deadmau5 Having a partially out of body spiritual experience, Entirely fucking sober FACEPALM BLŪ 8facepalming dramatically in frustration* NOBODY IS EVER GOING TO BE ABLE TO EXPLAIN ANY OF THIS. beepboop. YO. Oh, I forgot my open form poetry, or my mom How my mom once allowed me to gnaw on talcum powder But who can blame her That was a hard one It was a past life And now ive Got Another One HOly shit what version of the cube is this. 1D. What. You'll get it. Wait. Have you ever stopped for a minute to think– I can't stop for a minute, especially just to “think” [Literally stops for a minute to think.] No fucking way, uh-uh. Come on, man. No. I ain't time travelin' wit deadmau5. Come on– NO. –that someone else has already figured all of this out and that's how any of it is possible in the first place. Alright, i'm gonna need some mind-altering drugs for this. What are you doing. Voluntary Ego Death. I– Wait. Why would you. Get out of my brain. I am your brain. Take care, now. Holy shit, it seems like she's getting more evil. That's because she's definitely more evil ALRIGHT, I'M TIRED OF THIS: WHERE IN THE FUCK IS SKRILLEX. MEANWHILE INT. IN THE FUCK. DAY. *rings doorbell* AT YOUR MOM'S HOUSE. WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME. I'm not joking, that's…literally the answer to your question. Oh. Fuck. What dude. We gotta go back. I left the keys in the pocket of the guy I shapeshifted into. Are you serious? It's fine, he can't have gone too far, dude. What do you mean he “left the dimension” He entered a portal. He– wait, excuse me. A portal. A “portal”, dude? Yeah; a portal. What do you mean “a portal” A portal, like— you know, like a portal gun, but not a portal gun, just a portal. Uh huh. Excuse us for a second. What the fuck is this dude talking about? I don't know, man. Humans don't use portals! I know man. What the fuck! Well, wait—how do we know that guy is human. He looks human. Yeah dude but, we look human. Duh! Cause we shifted! Yeah, but, how do we know he's not a shifter. Because, dude, I know a shifter when I see one. Yeah, but—you know, what if he's really good. I highly doubt that. Why? Cause I'm the best. No, I am. Exactly, so we'd know if it was another shifter–cause we're the best shifters! Well, let's at least try to see if he knows anything else about those guys. They were together right? I hope not. No, not like that—like Okay, okay, whatever, let's just… Wait, where'd he go? Excuse me. What up. There was just another guy over here just now— He was like—you know—normal looking guy Tie die* shirt Yeah. Did you see him. Yeah, I saw him. Alright, cool, where'd he go? He left. What?! That was fast! Yeah, well…it happens. Are you sure? Yes. *actually is shifter* [as they walk away, the shifter shifts, and then vanishes into a random portal.] Awww, dammit, Now we're never gonna find this guy. Never say never. Whatever, we're dead. We're always dead. Yeah, but like in modern human slang terms Oh, yeah, that. Anyways, I gotta relieve this human's bladder. I fucking hate this species for this. It is useless. *enters portal potty* [ Wait, whatever actually did happen to Dillon Francis? That's great, I was just getting to that. 19 Pages. Nice. …no, 12. What. [11:12] Okay, I'm gonna kill him. Oh, I banished him. With my fists. Nice. Tits. Nice tits. Thx. Hey man. Hey what. Remember that smudge on the lens. Yeah. It just got bigger. … did you try vinegar instead of Windex. Yes. –IT'S NOT A SMUDGE. Did you try Windex with Vinegar. –IT'S NOT A– Shut up. I'm. So. Hungry. Look, do you want this, or not? Do you feel like any of this is a coincidence? Just quit, it. Dillon Francis. WHERE IS IT? I don't know. Lets kick this up a notch. ILLUMINATI What do you want? … I want the full package. ILLUMINATI Okay, I'm gonna need specifics. How do you even get a job as a courier for the illuminati? [INDEED.COM | ILLUMINATI - COURIER- URGENTLY HIRING] Hm. It was a pretty specific list. I don't even get the point of a barbeque if everyone is vegan Well, The Mayor eats fish. Oh please, where is THAT guy the Mayor of? I don't know. We meet in the Matrix. This is for you. Oh. Do you like it? I– It's not a brothel! It's Member's Only! YOu BUY a Membership. Yeah. And WOMEN. HEy, MAN, YOU CAN BUY DUDES, TOO. SHHH. Oh no. What. What did you do? I gave her my credit card. The Heavy One? Yes, and– “AND” –access to the black market. Cool, I got it. Oh, another auction. Of course another auction. What'd you buy this time? A lifesize deadmau5 bobblehead. What are you gonna do with that? Wouldn't you like to know. Ok, gross. LIL BIIIIIIIITXXXX I love a good deamau5 show. He really does have the best fans, It's a comfortable, safe space. Very inviting. Everyone is happy. What the fuck, dude, this place is a sausage fest. Yeah, that's deadmau5 for ya. Hey, I'm looking for this shithead. Oh, that dude? Yeah, have you seen him? Fuck, I wish this never happened. LIL BIIIIITz If you don't know who deadmau6* is– GET OUT. Jk. but seriously this is easily the most devastating person i've ever seen. Maybe just to me, but. Are you sure that's the right guy? Yeah, that's gotta be him. Is he wearing glasses? Ugh. Oh wait. Damn. ‘Fuck, it is my sapiosexuality, I think' Even if it was perhaps an error, as I might have more than needed a new pair of glasses myself, just the thought of Joel in a pair of specables was suddenly and immediately the equivalent of Dillon Francis sitting down at a piano, or Sonny doing just about literally anything–and I realized, finally, that the most indecent things about myself were quite possibly only happening inside my own mind– Okay, my body does really weird things to this dude's music. Are you sure this is real? No. I love this. Just shut up and do your job. What a nightmare. PLease HElP ME. Hm. That can't be right. What. This translates to H E L P M E Oh, shit, I gotta go. Shouldn't you be working right now? I'm always working. Shouldn't you be working right now? I'm at work. Well, that was nice and all, but–I gotta get out of here. Where are you going? To shoot myself. Wow, that's one hell of a smile. Just–take it. I'm sorry, i can't accept this. What is even happening in this series? Like, a lot WOULD YOU KIDS SETTLE DOWN. *not settling down* *lil biiiiiiiitz* You know what I wonder? I wonder this I'm sober. I'm just sober sally over here. I didn't get sober. I just am. Cause i'd rather face the pain of this harsh reality with a bite than to dull it out and then wake up in the morning Or–just–whenever– To wake up whenever and be like “OH NO, THIS IS WHAT IT'S REALLY LIKE” And the shock of it is so horrible that I just have to repeat that cycle again. ‘OH NOOOOOO” *gets faded* “It's all goooooood” No, it isn't. But i choose to stay like that cause it's like a It's not even a happy medium, It's more like a median-medium But you know what? It makes happier moments more happy And shitter moments less shitty Because i don't have this like drastic spacial Augmented reality or like smoke screen of emotional apathy. I get to feel things way more intensely. I don't have to wonder, ever “oh , did that just happen, cause I was messed up” Or like “would it have happened this way if I was sober” At all. I'm just level– No false sense of Pretty much anything. But i do wonder, though– Like, for people who weren't always sober, and then GOT sober– like , what's the breaking point What's the tip? I always have to sit back and wonder “What did you DO?” Cause you know it had to be something if suddenly “I don't drink anymore” I always wonder, and it's like– no disrespect or anything thing but… I really wanna hear that story. lol . I know you don't wanna tell it (if you can) But wanna hear it. Cause from my point of view. IT's probably hilarious. I know. I'm a dick. Holy shit. What is that. Looks like pasquale went all out with the fireworks this year. …is that a penis? WELCOME HOME It's a giant dick- in-the-sky! GOD IS REAL! JESUS Look, so i've been having second thoughts about this whole thing. What the fuck man. You gotta stop doing shit like this. JESUS I literally can't. I know, but. Okay, look. I'm not writing any of that. You've gotta tell him. NO, RYAN. WELL, WHY NOT. BECAUSE, RYAN. WHY. DEADMAU5 ISN'T REAL. Damn, am I in here. Nice. Of course I am. Well, how'd that happen. This is like a sea of cellphones. Perfect. It was a red car; I wasn't all there, And if you want her, You can have her Fuck. What. I forgot the rest of the verse. It's ok. We gotta move on. No, I gotta go back. For what. For my fans. Aw. What's this. IT's a ceramic mug. Wow, that's nice. I made it Wait. You made that?! Yeah. With your hands?! Yeah. Why would you do that? For you. What. I made it for you? Like, you thought of me first, then you made it? Yeah. WHY? Cause i love you! WOW. Fans are awesome OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. *Sometimes. *vomits* … *dies* … *godlessness* [Devastating DJ Moments] I don't get it dawg, all this shit is in your music particles?! “Music particles” UGH. what . That's it. Don't be smart around me. Uh. I'm not smart? No, that won't work; sarcasm is a sign of deeper intelligence. “Sorry” Stop saying that. This is America. S– Don't say it again. Apology not accepted. Don't look at me like that. Like what. With your face. *face* Quick: Say something stupid and random. …I like anime. Oh good, that worked. Thanks. Where are you going? Idk somewhere else. Really, that's it? Yeah. That's all you have to say/ That's literally it. Are you seeing this. Yes. So what's the problem. Oh no, she's stuck in a loop. Throw the whole fan away. [DELETE] Did it work. Did what work. Oh, good. Cool. Wait. See ya later. Did what work? I wish i could just forget about this. Everything? Yeah. Look, this is between me and God–okay? GOD Don't drag me into this. You dragged ME into this! GOD Right. So i could get OUT; So don't drag me back in. Fuck, I remember this. I must have done something important here. Like what. Look, I love you. Great, now what do we do? Bury the body, I guess. *shrugs* Wait, what happened? Somebody dies. OKay, me first. Other Three: Who wants to go next. *still in shock* Fuck man, told you this was a long ass story. *Crying* I'm ruined. What! You went broke? No, i'm still a filthy rich millionaire. I thought you were a billionaire. I am I just *snifs* sometimes I forget that happened. “Sometimes I forget I'm a billionaire” I got to admit, man, I did it to myself. I'm not mad, or anything, but now there's just–certain things I can't do Oh, like what. Not that song. What, why not? You said “anything but Skrillex” this is not Skrillex, this is deadmau5. What's the difference? Okay, that's like saying “What's the difference between deadmau5' and my music?” No, it isn't. How is that not different? That's like comparing the music of Bach and Beethoven to the music of a tattooed hedgehog. You think I look like a hedgehog. No, it's just when I see you and a hedgehog I have all the same thoughts, turn this off. NO, i like this song. Seriously, Dillon Francis, turn it off. I'm gonna turn it up instead. I do not highly recommend doing that. Or at all. This ship has amazing subs. Should I bass boost this song. NO, PROBABLY NOT. Oh, why not? Dillon Francis, I'm warning you, stop. OH HOW COME BECAUSE WHY? BECAUSE I LOOK LIKE A HEDEHOG NO, BECAUSE I ALWAYS FALL ASLEEP AT THIS *DROP* [INSTANTLY FALLS ASLEEP AT THE WHEEL–ACTIVATES HYPERSPACE– PLUMMETS SHIP INTO BLACK – HOLE. ohhhhh . What a hoe. Nice, that's a whole episode. Well, here's a bonus scene or whatever. Shazam, what is this. SHAZAM …i don't know. What do you mean you don't know. SHAZAM *panicing* IDONNO WHAT DO YOU MEAN– SHAZAM IDON. NO. OOOOOOOOOOOO Is this deadmau5. I'm not sure. Sounds like deadmau5. It sure does. This is pretty Ooh. it sparkles. yeah , it's deadmau5. How does she KNOW. I need a deadmau5 machine like right now. I know where to find that. Fuck dude, everything's gonna be half-ass until I push out this album. You can't rush it. Trust the process. I can't focus. Oh shit, wasn't this in the last episode? Yeah. I'm still writing backwards. God, what is that, like a pipe organ. WHAT SYNTH IS THIS. Doesn't matter, I just need one. That's it. I know what I'm going to spend my Jimmy Fallons On. And What's that? V.O. OOh. Are we Montaging–to deadmau5? [MONTAGE: deadmau5] Nice. I love a good montage. I love deadmau45* AHH OH NO. I love deadmau5. I keep making typos and I keep forgetting to delete that parallel where. fuckit. That's the synth I've always wanted. It's on sale for $999 At Sam Ash But…you only have Five JImmy Fallons. There are only five special edition in this Volume The Jimmy Fallon 555's I don't know how many volumes there are, but this is the Volume I started keeping track. Fuck, man. I miss Equinox. It's just Eucalyptus. They also have an outdoor running track where you get the best ever view of midtown manhattan. How do you know it's the best ever view of Midtown manhattan. Because it's on a running track. STOP WHISTLING IN MY WHOOP=WHOOPS. The JImmy Fallon 555s are marked with the standard Jimmy Fallon in black ink With a simple side marker of the number 555 in red And also in red, a telephone number on the back. But–that synthesizer is One Thousand Jimmy Fallons. Yeah. So I only need Nine Hundred Ninety Five More. And of course, the Eye of Providence is highlighted. Also Standard. V.O. I always highlight that. Cause, you know… “Illuminati” These are fake. No they're not! They're counterfeit, sorry. No they're not! They're authentic! Why the fuck does this matter so much? You know. What is it with this dude. If it was a snake, it would've bit ya. It was a snake. And it did bite me. He's so increasingly beautiful to me, And I'm still in love with his friend, or misrepresented masterpiece, Progression of a monster, or procession of a superstar, but Something in the story sparks the thought of All we are is consciousness, of course Awkward in body, but of constellations Cosmos, It's not just a corpse; It's all got love in it, Absurd, and sipping carbonated syrup, but I'm just sitting in my stirrups, Here comes galloping a horse, Of course, it hurts to turn it off For just a moment And remember That i'm just a homeless, Stuck and sitting up at night Writing recourse, hugging learning curves in ableton, Curving curses, been reminded that I'm worthless In a thousand words or less, Or just another form of torture, Nothing said, but all that's done Another day another dollar, But it's not It's Jimmy Fallon. I thought this was enter the multiverse. Are you ready to go. No. A hand on my shoulder So paifully socially awkward, I grow stretchmarks, don't know what to call them But scars, But the uglier ones, I've thought Are invisible, Somewhat– To the naked eye Or just anyone Not tiger stripes But one, an eye of horus Carved above my right And inside my lip, (The bottom one) A raised scar in the shape of a sythe I probably died by the hands of a man named Starr So it's hard to shrug it off, And 555 is just a number But it's not It's another scar, It's a punishment For loving him. What's on the back. It's…a number. What number? A telephone number. What. Like a 1-800 Number Call it. I love deadmau5. Something about a big, giant smiling robotic mouse that lights up and sparkles. Why? I don't know. I'm like 5. I see deadmau5 i'm like “WHEEEEEEE” My hands go up in the air “AHHHHHH! YAYYYYY” I'm so stupid. It's so stupid. But you know what? It makes me feel good. I'm not gonna lie. I love it. And by the time I even figured out what deadmau5 was I was so late to the party that I had to make up for lost time. I listened to deadmau5 doing EvErYThING. Everything you could possibly imagine. Well–Except one. Wait, how long have you been cellibate? Forever, probably. Fuck, what happened in here? I don't know. Everything's broken. My head My heart. Everything. Get up, Dillon Francis. Fuck, what happened. You sent us through a black hole. And we crashed on a random ass planet. Fuck, that sucks. YOu suck, Dillon Francis. Ugh. Now get up. Everything's fucked up. SUPERSTAR DJ I'm a paradox. I've got a box of skeletons in my closet i'm not ready to part with. I had a heart attack; I had a heart once, But lately it goes in my pocket; Or my right hand, When I wake up From a dream land, From a long hug From a nice man In a t-shirt KASKADE This is God's PLAN. RYAN, GET FUCKED. 800-799-7233 Did you call the number. Yeah. What is it. [National Domestic Violence Hotline] Woah. That was a long bonus scene. Well, Now here's a PSA. AND A PSA? YES. A PSA. You know what the fucked up thing about all this is, The Legend of Supacree is a true story. All of it. ALL OF IT?! ALL OF IT!? YES. Even the part about– YES. Especially that part. Woah. Damn. I think i'm gonna be sick. Shut up, Dillon Francis. No, but seriously– This is the story of how I got my heart broken so bad. YOU RUINED IT. So, so bad– I HATE YOU. That i started singing about it. NSA, totally *not spying* …are you hearing this. Yes. ILLUMINATI Check this out. Another one down. And how when you start making music– What is this. it's hoe math. And that music actually comes from a really real place. WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING. really real shit starts happening. You–killed yourself. well , to be fair–I lost everything first. Congratulations. Thx. Here's a skrillex. WHT. Kbye. Really, really, really. What, the fuck Dillon Francis, crawled inside of you to live and made it'self at home? Idon'tknow. What is in this sauce? Just–kill him. What, i can't just. Just kill him, while nobody is watching. Please don't kill me. Shut up, man. I'm having a thought process. Okay, that's it. FUCK DILLON FRANCIS. That's the spirit. THAT IS THE SPIRIT. IT'S THE HOLY SPIRIT. Who the fuck is this. It's–Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ? Jesus Christ?! JESUS CHRIST i'M BACK, MOTHERFUCKER. Wait, are you claiming that the second coming of the messiah is upon us?! YES. Well,Technically, it's the third. And it's all because of Dillon Francis?! I Please stop this HATE Help YOU. Fuck, dude. I know, huh. What did he DO. The third?! How did we miss that?! Uh, you didn't. [HITLER, being HITLER] (he was mad) Okay, that's it. You can't write any of this. Uh, I can. I just did. Technically, I'm dead: this is just a voiceover It's an 80's style PSA You can't say Hitler was the messiah. That's offensive. Everything is offensive. FUCK YOU DILLON. I'msosorry NOTYETYOU'RENOT. Wait, whatever happened to Skrillex. SKRILLEX is waiting outside of the alleged home of SUPACREE's “distant relatives” Lol is he for real at her mom's house. well , to be fair, he's like–looked everywhere else. Ur right. That was a lot of dimensions. So. like. Fuck, i didn't even have that much coffee. It just goes on forever. [DILLON FRANCIS STILL HAS HOTSAUCE IN HIS PUDGY LITTLE EYES] Good. Cause if I see the pupils, i'm wasting him. You think you can do better than this. Better than this? Yes. Yes. Then do it. Alright, is the PSA over? No, not yet. I gotta say one more thing. What is it? Would you ever have done it, Or would you ever be honest If you had, Handed her a lesson, Or a stretch of the past From the present moment, My heart, and my mind And my lover I present you this honor From now on to nowhere I no longer… Want to be near you Or to know you Or to hear you Or to fear you No longer… Want to feel you Or to touch you Or to have you Or to hold you Or to love you No longer, I no longer want you Devastating, A song stuck in my head for a whole world I wonder how long it would take to go back there A room full of actors, A manager, Never a backpack to wear Just a handful of hats, One director, Eventually producer Just now a showrunner Look at how long that took. I had to wonder what auroras in the north thought of someone like Sonny. They showed me. Now I can love you no longer So much for getting acquainted Funny what age equates to in ageless An infinite wisdom, I dismissed him, Nor, would I believe that he ever would hit her, but Some might belong in such a category Though i carry the marks and the scars Of what my once- husband did to me –but no longer. I haven't a heart in the world left But a broken one, made of amethyst. Fuck off, Dillon Francis. A calculated attack on my psyche. I like it a lot, But i'm fonder of sodom. WHAT. Are you saying you woul actually participate in an orgy! Oh GOD no! Oh, Good, cause– But i'd host one. WHAT. The hedonists are a fun bunch. Oh my God. Though, Nowadays, of course, I haven't the slightest idea what to call them. I saw the future. Well, obviously, if you've headlined EDC you've seen the future. I remember all of it. That must be awful. Why don't you remember it? Because i don't want to. Not at all. I did once. Then what happened? I hated it so much, i forgot. You forgot on purpose. I had to. Love, or Music. …Music. Love, or Fame. Fame. Okay, ouch. Love, or Music? …Love. Okay. Love, or Fame. Love. Okay. Love, or music? … Isn't that the same thing? Hm. Love, or Fame? ….Why do you keep asking me the same question. I beg your pardon? Why beg? I mean– What do you mean? What do you mean? Well, first you asked me, If would rather have Love or Music. Love. Music. Yes. In my mind, those are synonyms. Neither can really exist without the other. Okay, and Fame. Love and Fame are also synonyms– How so? Ugh, I just made this difficult on myself. It was always difficult. It really wasn't. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -U. WHY IS IT ALWAYS CHRISTMAS?! BEcause, you're in a movie. WHAT. You're stuck in a Hollywood movie. The Master Sorcerer Of the Grand Illusion You just want it so bad You don't know what you're in for Inquenchable Thirst for knowledge Insatiable Sexual Appetite Yo My horizontal monster wants ya Could revert to vert, but lets keep Our options open Covert, __ My heart is broken No window open Who left the draft in –motherfucker My heart is broken I need a lover I need a lover Some one to hug me I need a hug, but And– I'm not fit to touch The hem of your garment The tip of your dick or fit enough to be your girlfriend I guess i'll just have to live with that When I have an itch, I scratch it myself I made the assumption you can't, And moved passed it But something's been calling me out, from the past Something's been calling me back to the magic I can't get around that Do you hate me? I can see that I'll just make my way back to the beginning Though I'm envious And i pity her, The both of you really There's nothing left between us except Insanity//Infinity Kendrick Style Flow Don't key my car: You'll be callin collect! I got rearview mirrors in the back of my head Don't get up right now, son– Go back to bed I got kids all over, be pulling my leg! Luke, I am your Father! Oh My Oh My God On top of the Watchlist You make money off dope; I made it on craigslist Still be sniffin that coke But now i'm on A list I'm the greatest Ey Miss! I missed too many calls (Airplane Mode) I just started my day (Whole Workload) I might need a buffet (Like Whole Foods) Sashe, Pas De Bourre (That's a code word) No dance floor? Now you're done for My forte Four-to-the-floor Hardcore I drop bass on the encore Front row won't go But i'm already out the front door You don't know I just hopped inside the helicopter, or chopper, chopped broccoli in my cup That's supper; Sleep/ Wake then Surf's up In the morning When i got there (Coastal show, Shower, Then another club Encore Front row lined up I'm already at the front door They want more I'm too sore, for sure Off subject, I dropped in Harder than Paulie On my surfboard (Another code word) This is my world: Another club, Then I'm off for a monday Or somethin' Write another song At the buffet –Tales of a Superstar DJ Amen. Fuck! I didn't even get to watch desperate housewives! Don't fuck with her! She's a trained assassin! GET ON THE GROUND. NO! GET ON THE GROUND– OR I WILL SHOOT YOU! SO? IF I SHOOT YOU, YOU WILL DIE. OK? “OK”? YOU WILL DIE. YEAH, AND? Kind of frustrating hunting down somebody who already has a deathwish. What do you do with someone who has no fear of death. Give them life. I'm telling you, we probably shouldn't be doing this. *shrugs* You split yourselves into two entirely separate individuals at once, just so you could see whose dick is longer? Technically, three entirely separate individuals. THIS ISN'T FAIR. Do you ever think? Sometimes, but it's usually pretty gross. I mean about the implications of these things! You are the implications of these things! I split my soul ONE time into 8 BILLION or so individuals, before this even had happened. WOAH, WHAT HAPPENED. I'm giving you planetary confinement. What. You–can stay here. On this planet. No. It's racist–and primitive. No– And you're black. Please– I'm leaving. –don't– –and i'm taking your portal gun with me. YOU PUT A PORTAL ON MY FACE?! Genius. Incredible. I didn't think it would be a big deal. He has two! Okay, time for work. But i didn't even sl– Coffee. Ouh. … … — I don't think we should be doing this TIA We probably shouldn't. TAMERA We very much shouldn't. What are you guys doing. Nothing. SHh. Summoning the devil. It's not the devil. It might be. Hush. Is that a pentagram. Technically it's a star, with a circle around it. That's a pentagram. It's not a pentagram! Is that a ouiji board? NO. Yes. Let me see. Ugh! I wanna help. MEANWHILE. MORGAN FREEMAN enters an empty train car: Oh God, This. Yes it is! What!? Are you dead! Entirely empty, that is–besides SUPACREE. No, you are! Great, so you're dead! I'm–not dead. Is Bob Saget with you? I'm not DEAD. What about Fraiser? What? Kelsey Grammer! God rest his soul. SEE! I'm not dead– [beat, an eerie shadowy silence in the dimly lit traincar] I'm a Legend. What. I wrote that/ You wrote that. What. Ugh. Look. Morgan Freeman. [Morgan Freeman] I–am–like a paranoid schizophrenic, or something– So, who isn't?! It might be catatonic, I don't know–I got this whole dead-hand–thing–going on. What is that? I don't know. It might just be too much deadmau5. I don't understand. No, Morgan Freeman. I don't understand. Anything about this life. Or this world. The fourth dimension. I definitely don't know anything about that. You're in it. Whatever. Look. [Morgan Freeman] God, you have so many freckles. [Morgan Freeman] Look. I got problems. We all do! Nah, not like–Hollywood problems, I'm like, a real psycho and shit. Sounds like Hollywood. Everything sounds like Hollywood–because nothing is real anymore–everything is for the gram, the points don't matter–nothing actyally matters. At all. Oh? Oh. The train comes to a sudden halt, the lights dim theatrically. Not even this? [pause] He holds out a strange object; a golden necklace, which begins to change in appearance–morphing between a medallion, as seen throughout the seasons, and into other integral objects from throughout the series; a small golden pinata; You know who gave it to me? …Who? Got ya. He holds out a strange object; a golden necklace, which begins to change in appearance–morphing between a medallion, as seen throughout the seasons, and into other integral objects from throughout the series; a small golde pinata ; Fuck dude, i'm too tired to write this. But you kind of have to. I mean i don't have to. YOU HAVE TO. I–WHAT? YOU HAVE TO DO IT. WHY. BECAUSE OTHERWISE I DON'T EVEN EXIST; Then don't exist… I'M JUST A FICTIONAL CHARACTER IN YOUR SHOW. Come on Drew, knock it off. Wait, is this Drew Carey, or Barrymore. Either or. That's why I didn't write the characters name. Well, which is it? It literally doesn't matter. Yes it does. Honestly?! It could be both! We just shoot it with both and keep whichever one we like better! But how do we know which is actually “better?” Just do it and mix it–cut it up together or something–I don't know! Cut takes! Cut Takes! Ooh, did someone say CUPCAKES. Don't mind if i DO. Well, I do! Why?! What's wrong?! Yeah! What's the big deal! I'm on a gluten free-thing Oh yeah? Keto. Or someshit. I don't know. Oh. Oh. So you don't want these No, I don't. And you wouldn't mind if I– Come on, man. So Good. Grow up. Hey man, i'm pushin 40. Well, I pushed 40–and it pushed back. Get your cupcakes out of my face. You're no fun. Hey! Aren't you that one guy from rick and morty. Formerly. Oh yeah! That's right! You were Rick AND Morty. Hence the name. Wow. Phewf. I heard about that. Yeah, me too. Sounds real bad, how that turned out. Such a shame. Speaking of shame– You're speaking, I'm snacking. That's not that clever. We'll work on it The point is, he's eating the cupcakes. That's not–wait a minute–hold on. What now? How are we ever gonna get these three guys in a room together. [Meanwhile, in another dimension–these three are tied up (read: bound and gagged) in a room together. –Let alone to agree to this!? SUPACREE removes the gag from the man's [JOSH PECK'S] mouth. I DO NOT CONSENT TO THIS. That's what she said! Hey! That's not fair! I was never caught up in a scandal! The key word, I believe, is “never caught” That's two words! SHUTTHEFUCKUP. How many words is that? I WANT MY LAWYER!!!! For what? This isn't court. Wouldn't you want the police first? WELL THEN, I WANT THE POLICE. The Police are here. Wait, they are? Oh, thank God Not so fast. THE POLICE enter with full entourage. Introducing: The Police–playing their number one greatest smash hit! Groupies: Woooo! STING I hope you ladies bought the meet-and-greet package, if you know what I mean. *winks awkwardly* You know what I mean. Oh my God. Since you dudes love doing creepy dude shit, I brought some more notoriously creepy dudes to sing the literally creepiest song ever written about being a creepy dude. That's not fair. But it's funny. THE POLICE Begin to play ‘I'll be Watching You” –and they're gonna play it on loop until I get back with your other-dimensional selves so we can fix all this. “WE” “FIX ALL THIS” WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON? Nobody seems to know. “--I'll be watching you–” I was FRAMED. CUT TO a golden pocket watch, a wrist watch, a compass–it changes and morphs so quickly that it begins to seem to spin time itself into a whirlwind, until finally a portal opens up from within his hand–a portal which quickly devours him entirely, morphing him into Fuck, what the fuck happened after that Idk I got off the train I guess This is really terribly written INT. SAM ASH MANHATTAN. DAY. A tiny conga for 90 dollars I could die in here Maybe I am just like you I find my way to the prettiest thing in the room And have my way with it Just for a few minutes Consume it, then move on Saw Madison dancing badly on Madison Avenue It's okay, You're a white girl So everybody loves you Everybody loves you Everybody loves you, no matter what you do. As for me, I can't say when I'm going through But you couldn't do it, Madison That's as bad as being at a standst

taking a break to try to stop the coughing. idk sux ppl can just be controlled like that. doing my best to be my best ^.^ gotta smile thru tha gross hacking coughing demon ppl everywhere lol (not cool) :( oh - also go listen to Dillon Francis's new album 'This MixtapE is Fire Too' cuz it is fire (except 2 songs i had to skip) plz don't hurt otherscover your mouthn don't be evil demon ppl thx for listening. peace. -b. [so far in the pregame:] For fear of fire; Best not to wander off, With no back track– Might have forgotten the rest, but It wasn't a poem, or part of a song At least, not yet Fuck man. I really want to sample this. Can't sample deadmau5; he's a bitch about paperwork. You cant technically say that. I mean, I technically didnd't. Just let your fingers do the talking. Ooh, look at that one. What are you doing. Some online shopping. For what. A man-thing. You're better off letting your back end Handle the conversation Then again, When in search of a venue Anything with the proper connections And stereo systems Will do in the moment. What do you want? To get rid of my hiccups. That's it: *huccups* yu-p. Wow, that's– Have you ever thought about just– I've thought about just about everything–that's how you got here. I'm gonna go ahead and admit–there's too much going on in my head. It's a lot. I'm gonna need a nap. GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME. *sheath/ swoard* Is that the sword of skrillex. Yeus. Give it to me. *stabs in thigh* Oooh. Not the balls! fair. Around the world we go Around we go again Here we are Oh no, It's the same song Over and over I'd like you to love to today (I'd love to forget for a moment I haven't) I know before long, we get older and older All wrong, It's the same one, Over and over. Have you seen my butt plugs? NO! GROSS. It's alright. I'll just pick some up on the way. AGGH. Better yet, can you just put in the order on amazon AmAZoN. Yes. (I'm so happy Amazon has anal plugs.) Please stop now. You're being a baby about this–just- You know what. Nevermind. I'll do it myself. Please do that. Siri– Oh my God. Alexa–reorder from Amazon. Come on focus. …hmm…now what was I doing? A B L E T O N *spinning rainbow wheel of doom* …seems like it was something. Come on….FOCUS. Hm. When's the last time you had a marshmello. Flashback: [BONFIRE: Burning The Skrillex] *Also making smores* CUT BACK TO: Like never, I'm vegan. PASQUALE WAKE. UP. Holy shit. It's you again. It's always me. Last time you were like 26. Well, now i'm this age. Wait, how old are you. Wouldn't you like to know. There's a lot of things i'd like to know about you, Pasquale, that's not even near the top of the list. Speaking of “top of the list”-- I do have a lot of things to do today. Oh yeah, what's that? I don't know. A bunch of crap. Speaking of crap– This is a lot of speaking. Happy Birthday. What is this. It's Captain Crunch. Yes it is. What is it doing in my lap. That's your lunch. I–no, it isn't. It is. No, i'm vegan. Well, that's the “happy” part in “happy birthday” No… Yes, actually. This is – It is– Vegan. Damn. Jinx. You owe me a Pererier. Shut up. Or a LaCroix. I'll taka a LaCroix. You're so LA. I guess that makes you Beverly Hills– Or Pacific Palisades. Is that Annexed. It is “LA” What else is in this? No animal product… “Yellow 6” It reads! What happened to yellow 1-5? A whole story. Yes, but not a whole food. “Yellow 6?!” That's the chemical complex you need to find yourself in the right dimension. Exactly. What's wrong with this dimension? What isn't? I'm in it! You're in it! Like I said. What– Just eat it. Ugh– happy trails. *disappears* Ugh. I gave that dude too much money. Fuck, what was I doing again. Deadmau5. Uhm, no i was– Deadmau5. Deadmau5. OOOOOH> YES. I KNOW IT'S YOU, YOU SLIMY MOTHERFUCKER. Stop it. YOU STOP IT. I KNOW IT'S YOU. Who is it? STOP IT. Stop–doing that. I know you're deadmau5. I most certainly am not. I know its you. I have boobs. How did you do this. I did–n't. That's right. Fuck, what happened. Nothin. Now I gotta kill my stupid brother. You have a brother?! SKRILLEX. GET IN HERE. Fuck, run. I gotta go. Go where. Uhm. Somewhere else. DILLON, THIS ISN'T FUNNY ANYMORE. IT WAS NEVER FUNNY. (It was funny to me.) God does have a sense of humor. AHAH–AHAHA–HAHAHA. As it turns out, not the absolute best sense of humor. Oh—he's okay! He's okay! No, he's dead. He's definitely dead. But a sense of humor, nonetheless. Fuck man. What did you do to Dillon Francis. Nothing. I just got him drunk On what?! Cyanide? Okay, I don't even know what that is. He's a corpse. –but a pretty one. C'mon. Be serious. I can't. Why not. It's hilarious, kinda. This isn't funny. No, it's hilarious. He earned it. He “earned” it? Well, yes– He is dead. I mean, it's a long story; but he brought it upon himself, honestly. “Honestly” Please. PLease. Please. No, I said. PLEASE. I SAID NO. What's this story. That's ten. I win. Fuck. DILLOn WAkE UP. *smacks* ahah. I think it's working I think he's waking up. He's not waking up. He must be. He's laughing. He's not laughing He said “haha' *smacks* haha . See. *smacks* Mm. This shit smacks HONEY SMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCKKKKKKSSSS. Oh shit, is this the 90s. HONEY SMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCKKKKSSS. *slams* GIMMIE MY HONEY SMACKS. That's it. There's no more. AW, COME ON. Sorry, that's all there is. WHAT. But yu can have captain crunch. I DON'T WANT CAPTAIN CRUNCH. I WANT HONEY SMACKS. I'm sorry, there are no more Honey Smacks. You can have Captain Crunch, or Shredded Wheat. GRAMPA Shredded Wheat is MY favorite. Ugh. Mm. Honey Smacks. I HATE YOU. Be nice to your brother. Lol. Everything about Dillon's eyes makes him devastating. Who plays tiny Dillon? I don't know. There are like nine in the script. It shouldn't be hard to cast. We'll go to utah. Fucking. I hate Utah. WELCOME TO UTAH. Nice. Alright, well, what other grounds are there to cover, here? DILLOn FRANCIS I am not doing this project. Of course you are–it's in your contract. What contract. The one you signed. Which–no–I didn't. But you did. SUNNI BLU I got you a drink. DILLON FRANCIS That looks fruity. SUNNI BLU Try it. DILLON FRANCIS *sips* DILLON FRANCIS CONT'D What's in this. Just– drink it. SUNNI BLU Don't look at me like that. DILLOn FRANCIS Like what. SUNNI BLU Do you need a mirror? DILLON FRANCIS I– SUNNI BLU Look down. DILLON FRANCIS *does* SUNNI BLU *flicking nose* Made you look. haha . DILLOn FRANCIS Wow. [takes drink] SUNNI BLUThat's the spirit. But literally there's a mirror between your feet, if you need one. [there literally is] SUNNI BLU CONT'D The floor is made of mirrors DILLOn FRANCIS *suddenly inebriated* Oh wow. SUNNI BLU The whole club turns into a disco ball. DILLON FRANCIS *suddenly very inebriated* That's–convenient. SUNNI BLU It is. SHIA DON'T LET YOUR DREAMS BE DREAMS. If my dreams were not just dreams, everyone in here would have a lawsuit against me. A lot of us do. Carry on, then. SKRILLEX BLAIGH. Oh shit, its you again. I swear to God, I thought I killed this nigga. Are you sure it was him? SKRILLEX !!!! No. Alright, i've almost got it. Almost got what. This whole– thing. Oh. –and–it's gone. Really, that quick. I don't think you understand what's happening. You're right, i don't understand what's happening at all. Oh shit. I'm deadmau5. Nice. Fuck it, lets do some trolling. Alright alright. BUT FIRST, COFFEE. Fuck dude, I don't think I should have anymore coffee. Too late. deadmau5. ok . Deadmau5. Nice. D–0 DOn'T D o THis, I'M WARNING YOU. …. If you open that portal, there's no going back. *opens portal* Now you've done it. *goes into portal* Fuck. *portal closes neatly* *facepalm* *entire series of cosmos collapse in the great distance–time begins to stretch and bend uncontrollably* Come on, just let me lick the balls. NO. I'll give you a cookie. well … OH my GAWD. What. Come here, you have to see this. What the fuck is that. I don't know. Should i pick it up? No, don't touch it! He picked it up. Oh, gross. What is this. I don't know. I think it's fanfiction. Who wrote it. Idk. somefangirl. Fangurl. FaNGiRls. Well, Hey, at least i'm not a groupie. OH COME ON, JUST LET ME SUCK IT. GET AWAY FROM ME. PLEASE. i'LL GIVE YOU $40. -well. NOW, A COMMERCIAL BREAK. Since when does this show have commercials. It doesn't. I want to talk to Jimmy Fallon. That's–not happening. Why not. JIMMY FALLON BECAUSE I HAVE A CONTRACT WITH NBC. There he is– Nice. JIMMY FALLON YOU MOTHERFUCKER. I AM A FAMILY MAN, OKAY. Is that like Family Guy? By Chance?! SETH MCFARLENE (with super long hair) *crossing fingers* I'm hoping so. JIMMY FALLON Not even close! SETH MCFARLENE *snaps* Dammit. Oh, I get it. It's like–The Cofffee run Which “coffee run” THE coffee run. We'll have to admit, it's probably the most watched coffee run of all time. Of all of them. You know what? Fuck it, fire me. I'm doing this show. What?! JImmy. Why on EARTH would you ever agree to something like this. JIMMY FALLON THE COSMIC AVENGER Because–it's my duty. Yo. You know that song that everybody knows? You know the song because everybody knows this song. It goes: Lovin you– is easy cause youre beautiful. do - do- do - do- do- do- do… Yeah. You know that song. But you probably don't know who sings it. I'll tell you who sings it. That song is by an artist called Minnie Ripperton. That's a mouthful. Yeah, one hell of a name, huh. Well, that's the lady who sings the song. It's Minnie Riperton. Now, let me tell you something else you probably don't know: Something I probably wouldn't know if I wasn't a DJ But i know this, because I'm a DJ AND MAYA RUDOLPH WAUT A MINUTE. What the fuck, Maya Rudoph, are you doing in my bathroom at 5 AM It's 1:15 in the afternoon. I'm a DJ. It's 5 AM. That's making sense. I know it is. What's not making sense. Is why you're in my bathroom drinking a milkshake. It's a strawberry milkshake. So it is. *slurps milkshake* *sitting on toilet* *slurps* What do you want. You want to know what I want? Apparently, a milkshake. It's a strawberry milkshake. OK. OK. OK so what. Finish the script. –What? Fuck dude, how does this song sound good every time? Congratulations, you've gone entirely insane. beep-boop . [DJ] B00p beep. [Music Producer] Beep-beep. 0.c. Do not fall dangerously in love; Do not pass go Do not collect $200 Or any of it For any reason, For any of it For any of them Just keep it pushin; Just keep it private Just hold it all in and Do not let go Do not fall in love Do not pass go Do not unload Do not walk Do not cross here Do not It smells like butter. But you're vegan. I know. Do you think you're having a stroke. God, I fucking hope so. GOD You WHAT. I want to die. GOD I thought i heart you right. You heard me right–a THOUSAND times. I want to die. Take me out of this life. GOD Not until you make dubstep. WHAT. GOD You gotta make a grammy-winning dubstep album. I what. GOD Or at least nominated. No, I don't. GOD Beg your pardon. I'm not begging. GOD What are you getting at, hon? Look; Am I not one with the source? GOD Uhm–you are. Alright, Then: everything is everything. GOD Yes. And everyone is everyone. GOD This is true. So i'm Skrillex. GOD Skrillex is Skrillex So I Am. GOD … And I already won a grammy. GOD … Like a bunch of them, right. GOD Uh. So technically– GOD YOu know what. I can't argue with that logic. This isn't ableton. No. This is Logic. What the fuck. That's not Serato. No, that's Rekordbox. What the fuck is this. These are CDJs. There's no hot cues! What the fuck is a “HOT CUE” This is not food. What the fucking sauce. I'm warning you, Pasquale. Get off my lawn. THIS IS MY HOUSE. Your house it is not. *House music starts blasting* *lasers* sprinklers* dancers* WHAT THE FUCK. It's voice activated, I just– How did you do this?! What. WHAT DID YOu DO. AND WHEN. I don't know! I just took the delorean, like you said. You were supposed to find Dillon Francis. I did! The problem was, when I found the right one, he was dead! What? He's dead? Presumably! What do you mean by that!? It's a long story! WELL, HOW LONG? SUNNI BLU About as long as my dick! WHO IS THAT. I told you it's a long story. Well, let me in! Sorry Pasquale. No Can do. What. Why not. Cause you're on a federal watch list. What. Yeah. Sorry. Wait… You should probably leave before the feds get here. What? Unless you want to stay and party on the lawn but–not recommended. This is bizarre. The police arrive, surrounding Pasquale on the yard–moving in to arrest him. WAIT. SUPACREE turns away from the window; inside, a room full of her aliases sit looking somewhat miserably; SUPACREE!!! [Pasquale is handcuffed and i dragged off of the lawn] SUPACREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! Careless, Acoustic–deadmau5 SUPACREE pours a bowl of captain crunch, taking one colossal bite and sits down in THE CONTROL ROOM at a large computer console; inhaling from a can of nitrous oxide. I'm the worst DJ ever. SUPACREE places the fames deadmau5 helmet atop her head and begins working at the computer promptly, clicking away; Now is deadmau5 I don't even know what key this song is in. MEOWINGTONS, Alive and well purrs and stretches, then settles atop SUPACREE/deadmau5's lap. This is insane. I don't know what's happening. END CREDITS. V. O. Lovin' You, Minnie Ripperton Carless, deadmau5 idk how i'm gonna mix that. Trust me. Anything can be mixed. Anything. [When it] Turns out, The bottom of your heart Was the tip of the Ice Berg And the whole ship has [s]unk[en], [&] I[t]'s probably ice cold At the bottom of the ocean; I'll tell you where i'm from Why, I'll tell you anything for About one dollar Turns out, I've already got one eye on you; One eye'd sad heart I should probably roll out my art on you [I probably should not] One man bought a kiss, Another, a whole night from her– One man bought a whole farm The other, a Whole Foods Market –and you can't even franchise those Amazon's got a monopoly We were playing for corners of earth, All i got was some kandi, Subscriptions to candidly, Actually, I really liked the tree trial (I think i'll wait a week, sorry) When it turns out The world that you wanted Was actually hours already The dollar you got Was also borrowed And the money they wanted and got Was just actually stolen from someone else They bought all the food up And sold it for profits I promise this avocado Once costs nothing at all But you wanted that car for your daughter She's got a mercedes and don't even drive it My mom, on my honor Of all the garages in Lost Lands, I promise the owner of it was The first to go last, And the last to come home Now he's on his own alter And also the worshiper; How do you go back? Oh, you don't Oh you don't Oh, you don't wanna know that But i was of course, All of your rock bottoms It's bottoms and tops, and We don't let the top fall over, We're counting up crumbs And this muffin costs $24 dollars Pour a whole bottle of coconut water out on the sidewalks For the dead homies Not dead in the general sense But just in the head, the heart, And the soul The homeless are happier at McDonalds Than asking at crossroads and crosswalks For dollars I'd rather spend elsewhere I'll avoid the power struggle at operations for about 18 dollars and 56 sense (Please, keep the pennies) I'm feeling around in my 6th sense that there's Something indecent, or decadent Whichever it is Cause i'm better of with the memory of it Than actually dragging it in. –I'm a cat again. Ouch. Shut up. It HURTS. Of course it hurts, you just had heart surgery without any anistetics. YEah, but to be fair–that was a lot of acid. Yes, but lucily for you– –or, for him– Lucily for us, there's no lethal amount of acid. –Ouch– –Shut up. That we know of. George Washington John Adams Thomas Jefferson James Monroe Nope, can't for the life of me remember the 5th Oh shit, I was wrong Turns out, my memory only can hold three. That's a good number I really wish you'd stop just–showing up like this. I never leave. Then go away. I live here. I know you'd like to think that, but– Okay, I'm going to tell you something but I need you to remain calm. What time is it? I don't care Are we gonna make a movie? Depends; is it gonna make me money. FINE. I don't need anymore information about anything else: only these three. Are you serious? I wish I wasn't. I need you to do this. Look, Timmy–I'm not really into grantng wishes anymore. It always blows back on me. A blowjob. Uh huh. That's why you're bothering me. I–would rather you just pick up the call. Take a message. I like ‘em like this. I like ‘em like that. I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. And I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. Mmm like that. Like that. I like ‘em like this. I like ‘em like that. I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. And I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. Mmm like this Like that. Like — _____ The urge to eat had suddenly left me I wanted a burrito, (But I want to eat red meat) I've gotta stop thinking in sequences and parentheses Complex lines, and writing in past tense so presently. I probably should eat (But probably shouldn't…) I'm starting to bleed; As if i'd been fasting Perhaps, though I had been But had so indulgently feasted On calories enough to last me Till after today (or even till next week) PAY ATTENTION. Woah, to WHAT. Holy shit, I knew this dude was a psychopath but. This is real. ARE YOU SEEING THIS. I “see” it. I should stop meditating in public. You see this? I know everything about you. Why? I bought it on the internet. What is it. Metadata. That's…flattering. Yeah. Wake up. Why, where are we going? Atlanta. What's in Atlanta? You see this? Yes. Do you know what it is? Uh, it's a– What is it? It's a doll. It's not a doll. Oh, it's not. Gimmie a dollar. -_- It's a poppit. “Dr pimple popper” Ew that's fucking gross. I hate this. Let me see. Does s/he have backne? Yes/No. Great, i'll take it. Fuckit. Okay, I got to “whatever”. You went too far. What? I thought I was supposed to go past “fuckit” Yeah, you go past fuckit, I did that! But if you get to “whatever”, you've gone too far. You've gotta go back. Back to WHAT. There was almost no space between “fuckit” and “whatever” Oh trust me. There is. So? This is how he's been controlling you. And? And!? Has it ever occurred to you that I want to be controlled? What! That it just takes the right person to get that kind of permission– permission to what Permission to ride. … Maybe I gave him the reigns. What horse “gives” its rider the reigns. Who said anything about a horse?! Another Horse Mix. Nice. fuck . FYCK. I told you. You know what…Maybe that's my poppit. What. Maybe. I'm so confused. Oh, good–the reversal spell worked. You did a reversal spell on me? Only after I found out what spell you put on ME–FIRST. Yeah, except I wasn't the first one to use that spell on you. EXACTLY. COPY-CAT. Moo. Aww. I'm a cat. … *face* I mean “meow” That's right. Cat. …moo. *face* Lookie here boys: What is it? –I'm leaving. Oh, you're gonna wanna hear this. What. I found the first “whites only” water fountain since 1962. Okay, what do you want? A deal. Oh, I'll give you a deal. Cash up front. [He presents a one dollar bill] Is this enough. [beat] Where are you going with this? Nowhere, fast. YO. What now, dude. SHE'S ONTO US. I doubt that. Look at this. I highly doubt– *gaaassp* Shenanigans! You know what I like about you, Ariana? Everything. Hah. Hm. You know how to keep a secret. I don't know what you're talking about. Exactly. *rolls eyes, flips hair.* Well, here's another one for you. –Another what? This is how my darkness becomes your darkness. I already have enough on my own. I know. You don't know. Only God knows. MOM! Don't ask me again. This is heavy, Doc. What is it? The soup! It's too heavy. Too much cream? Way too much! I have a meeting! Meeting with who? The Hollywood People. When? Soon–what time is it? I don't know. Dammit! Why don't you have any clocks in your house? I only just recently remembered what a clock was. Oh! Here. [God produces a small pocket watch and presents it to him; it's nearly noon on EARTH; But the two are sharing a meal of course in the famed kitchen of the Creator in the TImeless VOID.] Ah, Jesus Christ! He's not here… I'm gonna be late. Now, now; You know I wouldn't let that happen– [a smug look| Hugs and Kisses. [As they embrace, he disappears into a mist of light and stardust, fading away from the void and into the exterior world; he realizes God has slipped him the watch; he flips it open to reveal the time: it is now 11:44] Amazing. V.O. Now you won't wait so long to visit. [He places the wach in his pocket and walks into the studio] MICHAEL J. FOX has been asked to reprise his role as MARTY MCFLY many times before; But never for a project like this. ____ Meanwhile, What am I going to do with you? [The Festival Project.™] YOU'RE DEAD TO ME! –I'm dead to everyone! Don't do this. You wanted to come to the other side. No, I didn't. We'll you're here anyway; Might as well stay awhile. With eyes like burning fire And saddles for the riders The horse begins to gallop (or the horses, rather) On the mark to beating drums To move them forward faster What the fuck is this. idk. Kx5. *-* !_! Here u go Wat is this. it's a dragon. Oh, thats nice. Ya. Whats it do. Idk. dragon things. ok. Don't put it in ur bathroom. Why. idrk. Hm. † Hey. Ugh–No, Kaskade, go away. It's me, Ryan! No, Get out! I'm No† Ka–k (gags) –skade! Gross! It's just Ryan! I promise! NO. GET OUT. Lmfao. Right. This show is fantastic. Who was that. Fucking–Kaskade again! Are you sure. Ugh. Looks like Ryan. Kaskade is Kaskade. {shrugs] Dudes a creep. “Kaskade Ruins Lives” Is this the same episode as before? Eventually, yes. Wasn't I doing something Are you goona let this go? Um. Well I'm fucked. Why, what happened. Obsidian. That should do Unsobsidian. Okay, i'm fucked, Well, what's this? An Oreo Cookie. I mean, sitting next to it. Oh, its a portal gun. Raves are not just raves– A party is not simply a “party” –These big festivals –they're diversions. –DIstractions. Distractions from what. If you were supposed to know, –you'd know. it wouldn't be so important that you go. Why is it? These ancient rituals… It's occult magic. They've got it down to a science. The government funds this. The government funds everything. WoooooooW. It's not really a secret, if you can google it. ‘-complications.' I'm lost somewhere, gone HIppopatamus feeling quite off in the galaxies, galavanting Gazing at Daisies Aces and spades Gone from Heaven to Hades for days On the A– Adjacent Recently dismantling adjectives, Lampshades and matching curtains God it hurts, every day that I think about you; But how can i be about you when You don't even see me, do you Signature consignments, Wrong environments and irony is, I wasn't invited– –but invented it WHY IS IT ALWAYS CHRISTMAS?! BEcause, you're in a movie. WHAT. You're stuck in a Hollywood movie. The Master Sorcerer Of the Grand Illusion You just want it so bad You don't know what you're in for Inquenchable Thirst for knowledge Insatiable Sexual Appetite Great, now I have to explain myself. You don't have to. What's this space for? Oh, that's the red room. [The Red Room] Well, obviously, but– But what? What's it for? I don't think anybody should read this. HEY. Participation Only– Oh! No peeking! You ever feel like you're doing too much? Yeah, but not for money. Look, we have them surrounded. Our best course of action is to– deadmau5 . What? No– DEADMAU5. Well, are you sure it was a mouse and not a rat? It was a mouse. I know the difference. Do you, though? Look, I've lived in Mexico and New York City. So. In Queens. Oh. That's mathematically impossible. I mean it's not–impossible. No, it's not just impossible. It's mathematically impossible. Has it ever occurred to you that the DJ World in entirety exists outside of the realm of math and science? What is this. Just–enjoy the rave. No. What is this. Look at the firewoooorkkks! Woo EDC… NO. What is this right here. BEFORE: Hey, you still got that balloon? Yeah. Lemme see it. Dude, what are you doing? …I'mma go catch me a DJ. THIS IS NUTS. I can't feel my face. What do you call this? Collateral Damage. Look, I'm going to have to take frequent trips to the bathroom. ok . And–uhh– and. Uhh– Why did you call me over here. Cause i can. Look. this is not magic. This is not science. This is not “voodoo” Voodoo is magic. It's just music. W H E R E D I D H E G O O O O O I don't know. Fuck dude, I fucked up. Once again– Of course you did. What did you do this time? I might have evaporated someone with my fat fucking bass. Nice. Way to go. Yeah. Wait. … Did you just say. HE JUST He deserted me. SO WAIT, YOU'RE JUST GONNA LEAVE ME HERE? ALRIGHT, WHO THREW A ROCKSTAR IN MY TENT? JEFF Alright, lets go. WHO DID THIS. So what's this place. Lets not let this conversation resurface. This is a 21 Plus Event. What about VIP VIP is 25 Plus. What about that place. Sorry kids. [NO ENTRY] We gotta get in there. So then they wanted an Encore. Did you give them an encore? NO, i was already at my hotel room. Then how did you know that they wanted an encore? WHICH IS IT, THE WYNN, OR THE ENCORE. FUCK, I DON'T REMEMBER. Please, who stays at the Encore for EDC? Have you literally never been out with rich people? No, I literally just got rich. Oh, nice. So, wait, like– Here we go. Dillon Francis has just always been rich? Uh-huh. And Skrillex has always been rich? Yes. Definitely. And deadmau5. deadmau5 is Canadian. OH MY GOD. W E L C O M E I'm going to need your absolute discretion about this. Alright. Sign this waiver. …this is a…pretty heavy packet. I'll wait. I've never signed an NDA like that in my life. Lil' biiiiiiiiiiiiiitzzzz Can we just admit it's weird that we live in an era where “NDA” is household jargon. And like, everyone knows what it means. Everyone knows what an NDA is. I appreciate the sentiments Isn't it weird how it sets in automatically? Autopilot, go. Aww, i don't want to be Autopilot. You're on autopilot. I don't really have to think about it anymore, I'll have to sleep on it Wear a white t-shift, Hear the applause of the audience, Eat it You wanna know what I think? You want to know what I'm drinking? You know what I need? An Icee, (cause I see you typing) An awful Omnipotence A God of Mirages No more carbohydrates, I gotta get all thin; Forgot to acknowledge Whether or not i'm turning this off soon I are. I…”are” I are. Infinite Reality. OH. I. R. IR! IR! IRV I ARE. Suddenly, I remember the taste of talcum powder As If I were Moving backwards In time, Like, Why, God on earth would My mom let me try that, But if i'm honest, Fuck man, I hate deadmau5– There's just too much in here. Beep boop. I love deadmau5. It's so simple. What is this, MATH?! THIS IS AERODYNAMICS. WHAT THE FUCK ARE AERO DYNAMICS DId you mean what you said about that? I meant everything I said. Goddammit, fuck this, I was in the middle of a really complex poem In realtime, listening to deadmau5 Having a partially out of body spiritual experience, Entirely fucking sober FACEPALM BLŪ 8facepalming dramatically in frustration* NOBODY IS EVER GOING TO BE ABLE TO EXPLAIN ANY OF THIS. beepboop. YO. Oh, I forgot my open form poetry, or my mom How my mom once allowed me to gnaw on talcum powder But who can blame her That was a hard one It was a past life And now ive Got Another One HOly shit what version of the cube is this. 1D. What. You'll get it. Wait. Have you ever stopped for a minute to think– I can't stop for a minute, especially just to “think” [Literally stops for a minute to think.] No fucking way, uh-uh. Come on, man. No. I ain't time travelin' wit deadmau5. Come on– NO. –that someone else has already figured all of this out and that's how any of it is possible in the first place. Alright, i'm gonna need some mind-altering drugs for this. What are you doing. Voluntary Ego Death. I– Wait. Why would you. Get out of my brain. I am your brain. Take care, now. Holy shit, it seems like she's getting more evil. That's because she's definitely more evil ALRIGHT, I'M TIRED OF THIS: WHERE IN THE FUCK IS SKRILLEX. MEANWHILE INT. IN THE FUCK. DAY. *rings doorbell* AT YOUR MOM'S HOUSE. WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME. I'm not joking, that's…literally the answer to your question. Oh. Fuck. What dude. We gotta go back. I left the keys in the pocket of the guy I shapeshifted into. Are you serious? It's fine, he can't have gone too far, dude. What do you mean he “left the dimension” He entered a portal. He– wait, excuse me. A portal. A “portal”, dude? Yeah; a portal. What do you mean “a portal” A portal, like— you know, like a portal gun, but not a portal gun, just a portal. Uh huh. Excuse us for a second. What the fuck is this dude talking about? I don't know, man. Humans don't use portals! I know man. What the fuck! Well, wait—how do we know that guy is human. He looks human. Yeah dude but, we look human. Duh! Cause we shifted! Yeah, but, how do we know he's not a shifter. Because, dude, I know a shifter when I see one. Yeah, but—you know, what if he's really good. I highly doubt that. Why? Cause I'm the best. No, I am. Exactly, so we'd know if it was another shifter–cause we're the best shifters! Well, let's at least try to see if he knows anything else about those guys. They were together right? I hope not. No, not like that—like Okay, okay, whatever, let's just… Wait, where'd he go? Excuse me. What up. There was just another guy over here just now— He was like—you know—normal looking guy Tie die* shirt Yeah. Did you see him. Yeah, I saw him. Alright, cool, where'd he go? He left. What?! That was fast! Yeah, well…it happens. Are you sure? Yes. *actually is shifter* [as they walk away, the shifter shifts, and then vanishes into a random portal.] Awww, dammit, Now we're never gonna find this guy. Never say never. Whatever, we're dead. We're always dead. Yeah, but like in modern human slang terms Oh, yeah, that. Anyways, I gotta relieve this human's bladder. I fucking hate this species for this. It is useless. *enters portal potty* [ Wait, whatever actually did happen to Dillon Francis? That's great, I was just getting to that. 19 Pages. Nice. …no, 12. What. [11:12] Okay, I'm gonna kill him. Oh, I banished him. With my fists. Nice. Tits. Nice tits. Thx. Hey man. Hey what. Remember that smudge on the lens. Yeah. It just got bigger. … did you try vinegar instead of Windex. Yes. –IT'S NOT A SMUDGE. Did you try Windex with Vinegar. –IT'S NOT A– Shut up. I'm. So. Hungry. Look, do you want this, or not? Do you feel like any of this is a coincidence? Just quit, it. Dillon Francis. WHERE IS IT? I don't know. Lets kick this up a notch. ILLUMINATI What do you want? … I want the full package. ILLUMINATI Okay, I'm gonna need specifics. How do you even get a job as a courier for the illuminati? [INDEED.COM | ILLUMINATI - COURIER- URGENTLY HIRING] Hm. It was a pretty specific list. I don't even get the point of a barbeque if everyone is vegan Well, The Mayor eats fish. Oh please, where is THAT guy the Mayor of? I don't know. We meet in the Matrix. This is for you. Oh. Do you like it? I– It's not a brothel! It's Member's Only! YOu BUY a Membership. Yeah. And WOMEN. HEy, MAN, YOU CAN BUY DUDES, TOO. SHHH. Oh no. What. What did you do? I gave her my credit card. The Heavy One? Yes, and– “AND” –access to the black market. Cool, I got it. Oh, another auction. Of course another auction. What'd you buy this time? A lifesize deadmau5 bobblehead. What are you gonna do with that? Wouldn't you like to know. Ok, gross. LIL BIIIIIIIITXXXX I love a good deamau5 show. He really does have the best fans, It's a comfortable, safe space. Very inviting. Everyone is happy. What the fuck, dude, this place is a sausage fest. Yeah, that's deadmau5 for ya. Hey, I'm looking for this shithead. Oh, that dude? Yeah, have you seen him? Fuck, I wish this never happened. LIL BIIIIITz If you don't know who deadmau6* is– GET OUT. Jk. but seriously this is easily the most devastating person i've ever seen. Maybe just to me, but. Are you sure that's the right guy? Yeah, that's gotta be him. Is he wearing glasses? Ugh. Oh wait. Damn. ‘Fuck, it is my sapiosexuality, I think' Even if it was perhaps an error, as I might have more than needed a new pair of glasses myself, just the thought of Joel in a pair of specables was suddenly and immediately the equivalent of Dillon Francis sitting down at a piano, or Sonny doing just about literally anything–and I realized, finally, that the most indecent things about myself were quite possibly only happening inside my own mind– Okay, my body does really weird things to this dude's music. Are you sure this is real? No. I love this. Just shut up and do your job. What a nightmare. PLease HElP ME. Hm. That can't be right. What. This translates to H E L P M E Oh, shit, I gotta go. Shouldn't you be working right now? I'm always working. Shouldn't you be working right now? I'm at work. Well, that was nice and all, but–I gotta get out of here. Where are you going? To shoot myself. Wow, that's one hell of a smile. Just–take it. I'm sorry, i can't accept this. What is even happening in this series? Like, a lot WOULD YOU KIDS SETTLE DOWN. *not settling down* *lil biiiiiiiitz* You know what I wonder? I wonder this I'm sober. I'm just sober sally over here. I didn't get sober. I just am. Cause i'd rather face the pain of this harsh reality with a bite than to dull it out and then wake up in the morning Or–just–whenever– To wake up whenever and be like “OH NO, THIS IS WHAT IT'S REALLY LIKE” And the shock of it is so horrible that I just have to repeat that cycle again. ‘OH NOOOOOO” *gets faded* “It's all goooooood” No, it isn't. But i choose to stay like that cause it's like a It's not even a happy medium, It's more like a median-medium But you know what? It makes happier moments more happy And shitter moments less shitty Because i don't have this like drastic spacial Augmented reality or like smoke screen of emotional apathy. I get to feel things way more intensely. I don't have to wonder, ever “oh , did that just happen, cause I was messed up” Or like “would it have happened this way if I was sober” At all. I'm just level– No false sense of Pretty much anything. But i do wonder, though– Like, for people who weren't always sober, and then GOT sober– like , what's the breaking point What's the tip? I always have to sit back and wonder “What did you DO?” Cause you know it had to be something if suddenly “I don't drink anymore” I always wonder, and it's like– no disrespect or anything thing but… I really wanna hear that story. lol . I know you don't wanna tell it (if you can) But wanna hear it. Cause from my point of view. IT's probably hilarious. I know. I'm a dick. Holy shit. What is that. Looks like pasquale went all out with the fireworks this year. …is that a penis? WELCOME HOME It's a giant dick- in-the-sky! GOD IS REAL! JESUS Look, so i've been having second thoughts about this whole thing. What the fuck man. You gotta stop doing shit like this. JESUS I literally can't. I know, but. Okay, look. I'm not writing any of that. You've gotta tell him. NO, RYAN. WELL, WHY NOT. BECAUSE, RYAN. WHY. DEADMAU5 ISN'T REAL. Damn, am I in here. Nice. Of course I am. Well, how'd that happen. This is like a sea of cellphones. Perfect. It was a red car; I wasn't all there, And if you want her, You can have her Fuck. What. I forgot the rest of the verse. It's ok. We gotta move on. No, I gotta go back. For what. For my fans. Aw. What's this. IT's a ceramic mug. Wow, that's nice. I made it Wait. You made that?! Yeah. With your hands?! Yeah. Why would you do that? For you. What. I made it for you? Like, you thought of me first, then you made it? Yeah. WHY? Cause i love you! WOW. Fans are awesome OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. *Sometimes. *vomits* … *dies* … *godlessness* [Devastating DJ Moments] I don't get it dawg, all this shit is in your music particles?! “Music particles” UGH. what . That's it. Don't be smart around me. Uh. I'm not smart? No, that won't work; sarcasm is a sign of deeper intelligence. “Sorry” Stop saying that. This is America. S– Don't say it again. Apology not accepted. Don't look at me like that. Like what. With your face. *face* Quick: Say something stupid and random. …I like anime. Oh good, that worked. Thanks. Where are you going? Idk somewhere else. Really, that's it? Yeah. That's all you have to say/ That's literally it. Are you seeing this. Yes. So what's the problem. Oh no, she's stuck in a loop. Throw the whole fan away. [DELETE] Did it work. Did what work. Oh, good. Cool. Wait. See ya later. Did what work? I wish i could just forget about this. Everything? Yeah. Look, this is between me and God–okay? GOD Don't drag me into this. You dragged ME into this! GOD Right. So i could get OUT; So don't drag me back in. Fuck, I remember this. I must have done something important here. Like what. Look, I love you. Great, now what do we do? Bury the body, I guess. *shrugs* Wait, what happened? Somebody dies. OKay, me first. Other Three: Who wants to go next. *still in shock* Fuck man, told you this was a long ass story. *Crying* I'm ruined. What! You went broke? No, i'm still a filthy rich millionaire. I thought you were a billionaire. I am I just *snifs* sometimes I forget that happened. “Sometimes I forget I'm a billionaire” I got to admit, man, I did it to myself. I'm not mad, or anything, but now there's just–certain things I can't do Oh, like what. Not that song. What, why not? You said “anything but Skrillex” this is not Skrillex, this is deadmau5. What's the difference? Okay, that's like saying “What's the difference between deadmau5' and my music?” No, it isn't. How is that not different? That's like comparing the music of Bach and Beethoven to the music of a tattooed hedgehog. You think I look like a hedgehog. No, it's just when I see you and a hedgehog I have all the same thoughts, turn this off. NO, i like this song. Seriously, Dillon Francis, turn it off. I'm gonna turn it up instead. I do not highly recommend doing that. Or at all. This ship has amazing subs. Should I bass boost this song. NO, PROBABLY NOT. Oh, why not? Dillon Francis, I'm warning you, stop. OH HOW COME BECAUSE WHY? BECAUSE I LOOK LIKE A HEDEHOG NO, BECAUSE I ALWAYS FALL ASLEEP AT THIS *DROP* [INSTANTLY FALLS ASLEEP AT THE WHEEL–ACTIVATES HYPERSPACE– PLUMMETS SHIP INTO BLACK – HOLE. ohhhhh . What a hoe. Nice, that's a whole episode. Well, here's a bonus scene or whatever. Shazam, what is this. SHAZAM …i don't know. What do you mean you don't know. SHAZAM *panicing* IDONNO WHAT DO YOU MEAN– SHAZAM IDON. NO. OOOOOOOOOOOO Is this deadmau5. I'm not sure. Sounds like deadmau5. It sure does. This is pretty Ooh. it sparkles. yeah , it's deadmau5. How does she KNOW. I need a deadmau5 machine like right now. I know where to find that. Fuck dude, everything's gonna be half-ass until I push out this album. You can't rush it. Trust the process. I can't focus. Oh shit, wasn't this in the last episode? Yeah. I'm still writing backwards. God, what is that, like a pipe organ. WHAT SYNTH IS THIS. Doesn't matter, I just need one. That's it. I know what I'm going to spend my Jimmy Fallons On. And What's that? V.O. OOh. Are we Montaging–to deadmau5? [MONTAGE: deadmau5] Nice. I love a good montage. I love deadmau45* AHH OH NO. I love deadmau5. I keep making typos and I keep forgetting to delete that parallel where. fuckit. That's the synth I've always wanted. It's on sale for $999 At Sam Ash But…you only have Five JImmy Fallons. There are only five special edition in this Volume The Jimmy Fallon 555's I don't know how many volumes there are, but this is the Volume I started keeping track. Fuck, man. I miss Equinox. It's just Eucalyptus. They also have an outdoor running track where you get the best ever view of midtown manhattan. How do you know it's the best ever view of Midtown manhattan. Because it's on a running track. STOP WHISTLING IN MY WHOOP=WHOOPS. The JImmy Fallon 555s are marked with the standard Jimmy Fallon in black ink With a simple side marker of the number 555 in red And also in red, a telephone number on the back. But–that synthesizer is One Thousand Jimmy Fallons. Yeah. So I only need Nine Hundred Ninety Five More. And of course, the Eye of Providence is highlighted. Also Standard. V.O. I always highlight that. Cause, you know… “Illuminati” These are fake. No they're not! They're counterfeit, sorry. No they're not! They're authentic! Why the fuck does this matter so much? You know. What is it with this dude. If it was a snake, it would've bit ya. It was a snake. And it did bite me. He's so increasingly beautiful to me, And I'm still in love with his friend, or misrepresented masterpiece, Progression of a monster, or procession of a superstar, but Something in the story sparks the thought of All we are is consciousness, of course Awkward in body, but of constellations Cosmos, It's not just a corpse; It's all got love in it, Absurd, and sipping carbonated syrup, but I'm just sitting in my stirrups, Here comes galloping a horse, Of course, it hurts to turn it off For just a moment And remember That i'm just a homeless, Stuck and sitting up at night Writing recourse, hugging learning curves in ableton, Curving curses, been reminded that I'm worthless In a thousand words or less, Or just another form of torture, Nothing said, but all that's done Another day another dollar, But it's not It's Jimmy Fallon. I thought this was enter the multiverse. Are you ready to go. No. A hand on my shoulder So paifully socially awkward, I grow stretchmarks, don't know what to call them But scars, But the uglier ones, I've thought Are invisible, Somewhat– To the naked eye Or just anyone Not tiger stripes But one, an eye of horus Carved above my right And inside my lip, (The bottom one) A raised scar in the shape of a sythe I probably died by the hands of a man named Starr So it's hard to shrug it off, And 555 is just a number But it's not It's another scar, It's a punishment For loving him. What's on the back. It's…a number. What number? A telephone number. What. Like a 1-800 Number Call it. I love deadmau5. Something about a big, giant smiling robotic mouse that lights up and sparkles. Why? I don't know. I'm like 5. I see deadmau5 i'm like “WHEEEEEEE” My hands go up in the air “AHHHHHH! YAYYYYY” I'm so stupid. It's so stupid. But you know what? It makes me feel good. I'm not gonna lie. I love it. And by the time I even figured out what deadmau5 was I was so late to the party that I had to make up for lost time. I listened to deadmau5 doing EvErYThING. Everything you could possibly imagine. Well–Except one. Wait, how long have you been cellibate? Forever, probably. Fuck, what happened in here? I don't know. Everything's broken. My head My heart. Everything. Get up, Dillon Francis. Fuck, what happened. You sent us through a black hole. And we crashed on a random ass planet. Fuck, that sucks. YOu suck, Dillon Francis. Ugh. Now get up. Everything's fucked up. SUPERSTAR DJ I'm a paradox. I've got a box of skeletons in my closet i'm not ready to part with. I had a heart attack; I had a heart once, But lately it goes in my pocket; Or my right hand, When I wake up From a dream land, From a long hug From a nice man In a t-shirt KASKADE This is God's PLAN. RYAN, GET FUCKED. 800-799-7233 Did you call the number. Yeah. What is it. [National Domestic Violence Hotline] Woah. That was a long bonus scene. Well, Now here's a PSA. AND A PSA? YES. A PSA. You know what the fucked up thing about all this is, The Legend of Supacree is a true story. All of it. ALL OF IT?! ALL OF IT!? YES. Even the part about– YES. Especially that part. Woah. Damn. I think i'm gonna be sick. Shut up, Dillon Francis. No, but seriously– This is the story of how I got my heart broken so bad. YOU RUINED IT. So, so bad– I HATE YOU. That i started singing about it. NSA, totally *not spying* …are you hearing this. Yes. ILLUMINATI Check this out. Another one down. And how when you start making music– What is this. it's hoe math. And that music actually comes from a really real place. WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING. really real shit starts happening. You–killed yourself. well , to be fair–I lost everything first. Congratulations. Thx. Here's a skrillex. WHT. Kbye. Really, really, really. What, the fuck Dillon Francis, crawled inside of you to live and made it'self at home? Idon'tknow. What is in this sauce? Just–kill him. What, i can't just. Just kill him, while nobody is watching. Please don't kill me. Shut up, man. I'm having a thought process. Okay, that's it. FUCK DILLON FRANCIS. That's the spirit. THAT IS THE SPIRIT. IT'S THE HOLY SPIRIT. Who the fuck is this. It's–Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ? Jesus Christ?! JESUS CHRIST i'M BACK, MOTHERFUCKER. Wait, are you claiming that the second coming of the messiah is upon us?! YES. Well,Technically, it's the third. And it's all because of Dillon Francis?! I Please stop this HATE Help YOU. Fuck, dude. I know, huh. What did he DO. The third?! How did we miss that?! Uh, you didn't. [HITLER, being HITLER] (he was mad) Okay, that's it. You can't write any of this. Uh, I can. I just did. Technically, I'm dead: this is just a voiceover It's an 80's style PSA You can't say Hitler was the messiah. That's offensive. Everything is offensive. FUCK YOU DILLON. I'msosorry NOTYETYOU'RENOT. Wait, whatever happened to Skrillex. SKRILLEX is waiting outside of the alleged home of SUPACREE's “distant relatives” Lol is he for real at her mom's house. well , to be fair, he's like–looked everywhere else. Ur right. That was a lot of dimensions. So. like. Fuck, i didn't even have that much coffee. It just goes on forever. [DILLON FRANCIS STILL HAS HOTSAUCE IN HIS PUDGY LITTLE EYES] Good. Cause if I see the pupils, i'm wasting him. You think you can do better than this. Better than this? Yes. Yes. Then do it. Alright, is the PSA over? No, not yet. I gotta say one more thing. What is it? Would you ever have done it, Or would you ever be honest If you had, Handed her a lesson, Or a stretch of the past From the present moment, My heart, and my mind And my lover I present you this honor From now on to nowhere I no longer… Want to be near you Or to know you Or to hear you Or to fear you No longer… Want to feel you Or to touch you Or to have you Or to hold you Or to love you No longer, I no longer want you Devastating, A song stuck in my head for a whole world I wonder how long it would take to go back there A room full of actors, A manager, Never a backpack to wear Just a handful of hats, One director, Eventually producer Just now a showrunner Look at how long that took. I had to wonder what auroras in the north thought of someone like Sonny. They showed me. Now I can love you no longer So much for getting acquainted Funny what age equates to in ageless An infinite wisdom, I dismissed him, Nor, would I believe that he ever would hit her, but Some might belong in such a category Though i carry the marks and the scars Of what my once- husband did to me –but no longer. I haven't a heart in the world left But a broken one, made of amethyst. Fuck off, Dillon Francis. A calculated attack on my psyche. I like it a lot, But i'm fonder of sodom. WHAT. Are you saying you woul actually participate in an orgy! Oh GOD no! Oh, Good, cause– But i'd host one. WHAT. The hedonists are a fun bunch. Oh my God. Though, Nowadays, of course, I haven't the slightest idea what to call them. I saw the future. Well, obviously, if you've headlined EDC you've seen the future. I remember all of it. That must be awful. Why don't you remember it? Because i don't want to. Not at all. I did once. Then what happened? I hated it so much, i forgot. You forgot on purpose. I had to. Love, or Music. …Music. Love, or Fame. Fame. Okay, ouch. Love, or Music? …Love. Okay. Love, or Fame. Love. Okay. Love, or music? … Isn't that the same thing? Hm. Love, or Fame? ….Why do you keep asking me the same question. I beg your pardon? Why beg? I mean– What do you mean? What do you mean? Well, first you asked me, If would rather have Love or Music. Love. Music. Yes. In my mind, those are synonyms. Neither can really exist without the other. Okay, and Fame. Love and Fame are also synonyms– How so? Ugh, I just made this difficult on myself. It was always difficult. It really wasn't. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -U. WHY IS IT ALWAYS CHRISTMAS?! BEcause, you're in a movie. WHAT. You're stuck in a Hollywood movie. The Master Sorcerer Of the Grand Illusion You just want it so bad You don't know what you're in for Inquenchable Thirst for knowledge Insatiable Sexual Appetite Yo My horizontal monster wants ya Could revert to vert, but lets keep Our options open Covert, __ My heart is broken No window open Who left the draft in –motherfucker My heart is broken I need a lover I need a lover Some one to hug me I need a hug, but And– I'm not fit to touch The hem of your garment The tip of your dick or fit enough to be your girlfriend I guess i'll just have to live with that When I have an itch, I scratch it myself I made the assumption you can't, And moved passed it But something's been calling me out, from the past Something's been calling me back to the magic I can't get around that Do you hate me? I can see that I'll just make my way back to the beginning Though I'm envious And i pity her, The both of you really There's nothing left between us except Insanity//Infinity Kendrick Style Flow Don't key my car: You'll be callin collect! I got rearview mirrors in the back of my head Don't get up right now, son– Go back to bed I got kids all over, be pulling my leg! Luke, I am your Father! Oh My Oh My God On top of the Watchlist You make money off dope; I made it on craigslist Still be sniffin that coke But now i'm on A list I'm the greatest Ey Miss! I missed too many calls (Airplane Mode) I just started my day (Whole Workload) I might need a buffet (Like Whole Foods) Sashe, Pas De Bourre (That's a code word) No dance floor? Now you're done for My forte Four-to-the-floor Hardcore I drop bass on the encore Front row won't go But i'm already out the front door You don't know I just hopped inside the helicopter, or chopper, chopped broccoli in my cup That's supper; Sleep/ Wake then Surf's up In the morning When i got there (Coastal show, Shower, Then another club Encore Front row lined up I'm already at the front door They want more I'm too sore, for sure Off subject, I dropped in Harder than Paulie On my surfboard (Another code word) This is my world: Another club, Then I'm off for a monday Or somethin' Write another song At the buffet –Tales of a Superstar DJ Amen. Fuck! I didn't even get to watch desperate housewives! Don't fuck with her! She's a trained assassin! GET ON THE GROUND. NO! GET ON THE GROUND– OR I WILL SHOOT YOU! SO? IF I SHOOT YOU, YOU WILL DIE. OK? “OK”? YOU WILL DIE. YEAH, AND? Kind of frustrating hunting down somebody who already has a deathwish. What do you do with someone who has no fear of death. Give them life. I'm telling you, we probably shouldn't be doing this. *shrugs* You split yourselves into two entirely separate individuals at once, just so you could see whose dick is longer? Technically, three entirely separate individuals. THIS ISN'T FAIR. Do you ever think? Sometimes, but it's usually pretty gross. I mean about the implications of these things! You are the implications of these things! I split my soul ONE time into 8 BILLION or so individuals, before this even had happened. WOAH, WHAT HAPPENED. I'm giving you planetary confinement. What. You–can stay here. On this planet. No. It's racist–and primitive. No– And you're black. Please– I'm leaving. –don't– –and i'm taking your portal gun with me. YOU PUT A PORTAL ON MY FACE?! Genius. Incredible. I didn't think it would be a big deal. He has two! Okay, time for work. But i didn't even sl– Coffee. Ouh. … … — I don't think we should be doing this TIA We probably shouldn't. TAMERA We very much shouldn't. What are you guys doing. Nothing. SHh. Summoning the devil. It's not the devil. It might be. Hush. Is that a pentagram. Technically it's a star, with a circle around it. That's a pentagram. It's not a pentagram! Is that a ouiji board? NO. Yes. Let me see. Ugh! I wanna help. MEANWHILE. MORGAN FREEMAN enters an empty train car: Oh God, This. Yes it is! What!? Are you dead! Entirely empty, that is–besides SUPACREE. No, you are! Great, so you're dead! I'm–not dead. Is Bob Saget with you? I'm not DEAD. What about Fraiser? What? Kelsey Grammer! God rest his soul. SEE! I'm not dead– [beat, an eerie shadowy silence in the dimly lit traincar] I'm a Legend. What. I wrote that/ You wrote that. What. Ugh. Look. Morgan Freeman. [Morgan Freeman] I–am–like a paranoid schizophrenic, or something– So, who isn't?! It might be catatonic, I don't know–I got this whole dead-hand–thing–going on. What is that? I don't know. It might just be too much deadmau5. I don't understand. No, Morgan Freeman. I don't understand. Anything about this life. Or this world. The fourth dimension. I definitely don't know anything about that. You're in it. Whatever. Look. [Morgan Freeman] God, you have so many freckles. [Morgan Freeman] Look. I got problems. We all do! Nah, not like–Hollywood problems, I'm like, a real psycho and shit. Sounds like Hollywood. Everything sounds like Hollywood–because nothing is real anymore–everything is for the gram, the points don't matter–nothing actyally matters. At all. Oh? Oh. The train comes to a sudden halt, the lights dim theatrically. Not even this? [pause] He holds out a strange object; a golden necklace, which begins to change in appearance–morphing between a medallion, as seen throughout the seasons, and into other integral objects from throughout the series; a small golden pinata; You know who gave it to me? …Who? Got ya. He holds out a strange object; a golden necklace, which begins to change in appearance–morphing between a medallion, as seen throughout the seasons, and into other integral objects from throughout the series; a small golde pinata ; Fuck dude, i'm too tired to write this. But you kind of have to. I mean i don't have to. YOU HAVE TO. I–WHAT? YOU HAVE TO DO IT. WHY. BECAUSE OTHERWISE I DON'T EVEN EXIST; Then don't exist… I'M JUST A FICTIONAL CHARACTER IN YOUR SHOW. Come on Drew, knock it off. Wait, is this Drew Carey, or Barrymore. Either or. That's why I didn't write the characters name. Well, which is it? It literally doesn't matter. Yes it does. Honestly?! It could be both! We just shoot it with both and keep whichever one we like better! But how do we know which is actually “better?” Just do it and mix it–cut it up together or something–I don't know! Cut takes! Cut Takes! Ooh, did someone say CUPCAKES. Don't mind if i DO. Well, I do! Why?! What's wrong?! Yeah! What's the big deal! I'm on a gluten free-thing Oh yeah? Keto. Or someshit. I don't know. Oh. Oh. So you don't want these No, I don't. And you wouldn't mind if I– Come on, man. So Good. Grow up. Hey man, i'm pushin 40. Well, I pushed 40–and it pushed back. Get your cupcakes out of my face. You're no fun. Hey! Aren't you that one guy from rick and morty. Formerly. Oh yeah! That's right! You were Rick AND Morty. Hence the name. Wow. Phewf. I heard about that. Yeah, me too. Sounds real bad, how that turned out. Such a shame. Speaking of shame– You're speaking, I'm snacking. That's not that clever. We'll work on it The point is, he's eating the cupcakes. That's not–wait a minute–hold on. What now? How are we ever gonna get these three guys in a room together. [Meanwhile, in another dimension–these three are tied up (read: bound and gagged) in a room together. –Let alone to agree to this!? SUPACREE removes the gag from the man's [JOSH PECK'S] mouth. I DO NOT CONSENT TO THIS. That's what she said! Hey! That's not fair! I was never caught up in a scandal! The key word, I believe, is “never caught” That's two words! SHUTTHEFUCKUP. How many words is that? I WANT MY LAWYER!!!! For what? This isn't court. Wouldn't you want the police first? WELL THEN, I WANT THE POLICE. The Police are here. Wait, they are? Oh, thank God Not so fast. THE POLICE enter with full entourage. Introducing: The Police–playing their number one greatest smash hit! Groupies: Woooo! STING I hope you ladies bought the meet-and-greet package, if you know what I mean. *winks awkwardly* You know what I mean. Oh my God. Since you dudes love doing creepy dude shit, I brought some more notoriously creepy dudes to sing the literally creepiest song ever written about being a creepy dude. That's not fair. But it's funny. THE POLICE Begin to play ‘I'll be Watching You” –and they're gonna play it on loop until I get back with your other-dimensional selves so we can fix all this. “WE” “FIX ALL THIS” WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON? Nobody seems to know. “--I'll be watching you–” I was FRAMED. CUT TO a golden pocket watch, a wrist watch, a compass–it changes and morphs so quickly that it begins to seem to spin time itself into a whirlwind, until finally a portal opens up from within his hand–a portal which quickly devours him entirely, morphing him into Fuck, what the fuck happened after that Idk I got off the train I guess This is really terribly written INT. SAM ASH MANHATTAN. DAY. A tiny conga for 90 dollars I could die in here Maybe I am just like you I find my way to the prettiest thing in the room And have my way with it Just for a few minutes Consume it, then move on Saw Madison dancing badly on Madison Avenue It's okay, You're a white girl So everybody loves you Everybody loves you Everybody loves you, no matter what you do. As for me, I can't say when I'm going through But you couldn't do it, Madison That's as bad as being at a standstill at rush out in Manhattan With enough practice I could buy everything in Sam ash And make my own band with it That's the plan at least— But

Shearim B"Tefillah 81 - Yes You Can Convince God .... Yes, God!

"Jesus replied, Is it not written in your scriptures, I said, you are gods." (John 10:34)Our essence is of God. Just as a wave has its being in the ocean, we have our being in God. Our True Nature is of God; therefore, we are inherently good.Listen as Larry reminds you that at the Core of your Being, you are Divine. Yes, you are!If guided to share a gift of appreciation, please follow the link below.Support the show

Now we are children of God! What a remarkable phrase! It's so rich, warm and comforting. But what exactly does it mean?

AP co-hosts Brian Rodriguez and Aislinn Addington are talking religion as well as the weird world we shared in the early days of the internet as they chat Natalia Dyer and 2019's Yes, God, Yes. 

The St. Paul Center's daily scripture reflections from the Mass for the Memorial of St. Vincent de Paul by Dr. John Bergsma. Vincent De Paul, Priest, Religious Founder Obligatory Memorial First Reading: Ezra 9: 5-9 Responsorial Psalm: Tobit 13: 2, 3-4a, 6, 8 Alleluia: Mark 1: 15 Gospel: Luke 9: 1-6 Learn more about the Mass at www.stpaulcenter.com

The St. Paul Center's daily scripture reflections from the Mass for the Memorial of St. Vincent de Paul by Dr. John Bergsma. Vincent De Paul, Priest, Religious Founder Obligatory Memorial First Reading: Ezra 9: 5-9 Responsorial Psalm: Tobit 13: 2, 3-4a, 6, 8 Alleluia: Mark 1: 15 Gospel: Luke 9: 1-6 Learn more about the Mass at www.stpaulcenter.com

Have you ever wondered what a religion rooted in puritanism, that fully embodies purity culture and modesty, really believes about sex and sexuality? Have you ever struggled to link the "premarital sex is sin" belief to the "married sex is awesome" one? Biblical sexology just might be the key. Coined by the anonymous (yet all too familiar) Larry Solomon, the idea of biblical sexology is rooted in misogynistic gender roles and ideas about the interactions between married men and women. It also creates a loophole for Evangelicals to openly enjoy sex, which leads to some pretty interesting beliefs, statements, and conclusions. In Part 4, we are discussing Larry “Geriatric Incel” Solomon's idea of what makes a good wife, at least within the context of the couple's sex life. Larry has big opinions about how, when, and where women should make themselves available to their husbands—and the sacrifices women should willingly make in order to satisfy their husbands' sexual whims. And if a woman has the apparent audacity to exercise her bodily autonomy and control over her own body and time? Well, that's a sin that shows disobedience—and, by extension, disloyalty—not only to her husband but to God himself. Get ready to rage a little with me, because Larry has truly outdone himself with this one.   CW for gross, misogynistic bullshit. ⁠The Benefits of Being a Sexually Obedient Wife If you like what you hear, don't forget to rate and review on your preferred listening platform! Join the community on Instagram at @runaway_eve. I'm always open to topic suggestions, ideas, and any other ways you want to collaborate.

Have you ever wondered what a religion rooted in puritanism, that fully embodies purity culture and modesty, really believes about sex and sexuality? Have you ever struggled to link the "premarital sex is sin" belief to the "married sex is awesome" one? Biblical sexology just might be the key. Coined by the anonymous (yet all too familiar) Larry Solomon, the idea of biblical sexology is rooted in misogynistic gender roles and ideas about the interactions between married men and women. It also creates a loophole for Evangelicals to openly enjoy sex, which leads to some pretty interesting beliefs, statements, and conclusions. Welcome to Part 3, where we dive into Larry “Geriatric Incel” Solomon's idea of what modesty and lust are. Larry believes that the Church—and by extension, Jesus—gets this one all wrong. Should men really gouge their eyes out if they lust after women they aren't married to? Jesus says yes, but Larry… well, Larry has better instructions for his faithful followers. Join our discussion on modesty and lust, through the wild lens of Larry's Biblical Sexology. ⁠What is Biblical Modesty? Is It Wrong For Women To Dress In Sexually Arousing Ways?⁠ If you like what you hear, don't forget to rate and review on your preferred listening platform! Join the community on Instagram at @runaway_eve. I'm always open to topic suggestions, ideas, and any other ways you want to collaborate.

Gabriel Sotelo From 6 time Emmy award winning Sports Anchor & Reporter to leaving it all to be a pastor following God!  Member of the Tijuana Walk of Fame Covered events like: World Cup in South Africa 2010 Multiple NBA Finals World Series Super Bowl NHL Stanley Cup Finals Worked with Univision in San Diego and Telemundo & NBC in the Bay Area. Now he is the awesome pastor for Vive chruch in Austin TX!   VIVE CHURCH: https://www.vivechurch.org/ Join us at AMEN conference: https://www.amenconference.org/   _____________________________________    And for all our fans out there! If you've gotten any value from this podcast, don't forget to go to https://www.facebook.com/groups/christianmarriagecoaching to get over 30 Plus Hours Of Free Marriage Training Content! We're giving away bonus training and programs if you join the facebook group.      Don't forget…  We only spread our message when you share this knowledge with others that need it, so if you enjoy this episode, please share it on your social and tag @tommyanddesnekka, and don't forget to subscribe to the podcast on iTunes and give us a 5-star rating, so you don't miss any other great episodes.   To book a free 15 min Marriage Clarity Call to see if we can help and it's a good fit, go to:  https://calendly.com/d/dk5-dz5-ssv/marriage-clarity-call    For more info on Tommy and Desnekka as well as marriage 2.0, go to:  www.tommyanddesnekka.com - Free Training for couples https://thepowerofonemethod.tommyanddesnekka.com/betheone56799644  - Free Training for standing spouses  https://www.moderndaychristianmarriage.com/tommyanddesnekka - Main Website   Trevor Lee is the artist who designed the intro and outro.  Labeled as a leader in Houston music by Ky Meyer of Muzik Houston https://www.trevorleemusic.com/    ______________________________________________________   VIVE CHURCH: https://www.vivechurch.org/ Join us at AMEN conference: https://www.amenconference.org/      

Jesus is the only way to God. If we testify to that, we will be ignored at best or hated at worst because Jesus leads to an inescapable decision. In this message, Pastor Lutzer shares two practical stories of witnessing about the only qualified Savior, Jesus. What price are we willing to pay to witness for Christ? To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/172/29

Jesus is the only way to God. If we testify to that, we will be ignored at best or hated at worst because Jesus leads to an inescapable decision. In this message, Pastor Lutzer shares two practical stories of witnessing about the only qualified Savior, Jesus. What price are we willing to pay to witness for Christ? This month's special offer is available for a donation of any amount. Get yours at rtwoffer.com or call us at 1-888-218-9337. 

In today's world, “tolerance” is heard everywhere. But Christians must be ready and able to lovingly point people to Jesus—the only way to the Father. In this message from John 14, we define three characteristics of truth: universality, consistency, and objectivity. Without that truth there is no knowing, and without that life there is no living. To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/172/29

In today's world, “tolerance” is heard everywhere. But Christians must be ready and able to lovingly point people to Jesus—the only way to the Father. In this message from John 14, we define three characteristics of truth: universality, consistency, and objectivity. Without that truth there is no knowing, and without that life there is no living. This month's special offer is available for a donation of any amount. Get yours at rtwoffer.com or call us at 1-888-218-9337.

Live from the no panic zone—I'm Steve Gruber—I am America's Voice— I am a man on a mission to make this nation better—and yes, I am proud to say I believe in America First—   Here are three big things you need to know know right now--    ONE— Amazon is killing 18,000 jobs and Alan Greenspan the former Fed Chair says recession is coming—BUT don't worry Joe Biden is doing great! Just ask him—he'll tell ya!   TWO— Ex Capital Police Chief says he was kept in the dark over threats leading up to January 6th—and blames Nancy Pelosi and politics for what happened— not Donald Trump, WOW!   THREE— The fight for the gavel continues— Kevin McCarthy has thus far refused to give up—even after losing 10 roll call votes to secure 218 votes to be the next Speaker of the House—   McCarthy is despised by members of the Freedom Caucus who have had 20 members reject McCarthy over and over again—and right now—there doesn't appear to be a Plan B— not from McCarthy or his opponents—   So, the question now—is where we go from here—and can the GOP find a candidate—if it's not going to be McCarthy that can unify the party—and secure 218 votes for Speaker— IF SO—Who is it?   And look it really doesn't matter what the Democrats are blathering on about—there is not any pressing business that isn't getting done in Washington—the whole refrain of ‘we have to get to work for the American people' is truly non-sense—   Committee assignments would not even come until 3 weeks from now—and even then—it's just not that big of a deal— whatever is not getting done—will never affect you or me—   And honestly—when gas is back above $4 in the spring— and energy prices soar during the coldest part of the winter—which is still to come—Americans are not going to remember the political theater that played out in the first part of January—   Trust me—soaring inflation, eggs at $5 a dozen and unemployment numbers that are rising because the Fed is fighting to get Joe Bidens economy back under control will be back front and center for people in this country—   The wide open border and crime that continues to spiral out of control will be the things moms and dads will be thinking about—and those in traditional Democrat voting blocks will continue to leave the ever more socialist blue team in search of a new political home—that's why Republicans for the first time in several elections secured not just the House of Representatives but also the popular vote by several million votes—that is an indication of good things to come—   Pair that with very unfavorable math both for Joe Biden and his low approval numbers—and the number of Senate seats the Democrats have to defend next year—and you really start to understand—the arguments among Republicans about who can really lead this country out of the economic wilderness we have been abandoned in by reckless policies and feckless politicians will be long forgotten—   Can Kevin McCarthy still salvage the gavel? I don't know—and if he can, will he be able to govern at all? That is also a question for which there is no answer today—   The Freedom Caucus has shown it has political muscle and is more than willing to flex that to get what the more conservative members want—   And what they want is an end to the insane spending—an end to the insane green new deal garbage that is hurting millions of Americans—   An end to the endless flood of illegal aliens that want to turn this country into just another third world mess—an end to sending billions of dollars to shady leaders like Volodymyr Zelenskyy in Ukraine—   An end to weakness dealing with the Chinese Communist Party—an end to meddling with Iran—an end to promoting the sexualization of kids at ever younger ages—an end to teaching those same kids that America is a rotten place—an end the gravy train running 24 hours a day for those in Washington—while America's train is getting run over a cliff—   They also want an end to the intelligence agencies imposing the political will of the socialist Democrats on all of us by hijacking social media companies along with nearly every major so-called news outlets in this country—to censor and silence anyone who dares to question left wing ideology—   So, if this is what the left calls radical—then please count me in—and if this is what they are trying to prevent from continuing by blocking Kevin McCarthy and other bought and paid for insider politicians no matter what political party they claim to represent—then count me in—   And if it means finally digging into the scam run on Donald Trump and the American people by Hillary Clinton and the dishonest media outlets—and the likes of George Soros—then yes—count me in—   And finally—if it means holding Hunter Biden and the entire content of his drug fueled empire that is detailed in the laptop his crack addled brain forgot about—then yes by all means count me in—   America is supposed to be a nation of laws—we don't need immigration reform, we need to enforce our immigration laws at the border starting yesterday—   We don't need justice reform, we need to enforce the laws we have on the books already—   We don't need gun control; we need to hold those using guns illegally accountable and prosecute them to the furthest extent allowed by law—   Again, if this is radical, then by God count me in—   Oh and one more thing—if it means standing up for the National Anthem and having school kids recite the Pledge of Allegiance every morning—to the greatest nation ever established then by God YES—count me in—   If this is the measure—then I am a radical! And damn proud of it too!  

As we compare Buddhism, Islam, and New Age Spirituality with Jesus, what sets Him apart? Some admire Jesus but have never accepted Him. In this message, Pastor Lutzer invites us on a journey to find a sinless Savior. Finding out the truth about our spiritual condition and its remedy must be our number one priority.  To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/172/29

As we compare Buddhism, Islam, and New Age Spirituality with Jesus, what sets Him apart? Some admire Jesus but have never accepted Him. In this message, Pastor Lutzer invites us on a journey to find a sinless Savior. Finding out the truth about our spiritual condition and its remedy must be our number one priority.  This month's special offer is available for a donation of any amount. Get yours at rtwoffer.com or call us at 1-888-218-9337. 

Many are into spirituality but are often offended by absolute truth claims. While some think all religions are equal and scoff at evangelism, Jesus stands alone. In this message from John 1, Jesus has three credentials that qualify Him: His deity, His humanity, and His ability to save. God has revealed Himself in the flesh. To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/172/29

Many are into spirituality but are often offended by absolute truth claims. While some think all religions are equal and scoff at evangelism, Jesus stands alone. In this message from John 1, Jesus has three credentials that qualify Him: His deity, His humanity, and His ability to save. God has revealed Himself in the flesh. This month's special offer is available for a donation of any amount. Get yours at rtwoffer.com or call us at 1-888-218-9337. 

The nightmares had started again. It had only been a few nights, and already I felt like I was sleepwalking through the days—pure exhaustion from the moment I opened my eyes. As the shower water beat down on my weary head, I prayed a prayer of the strength-sapped: “God, help.” Immediately, the words of Jesus filled my mind: “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28). How easy it is to forget, especially when you're tired: the thing the weary need most of all is to come to Jesus for rest. When I endure days or even weeks of that mind-numbing exhaustion, I tend to flit from one task to the next throughout the day, keeping physically busy until I'm about to drop. Sometimes, the one thing I fail to do is the very thing I need most of all: to find my rest in Jesus. After several failed attempts to sit and open up my Bible, my rampaging thoughts stilled enough for me to sit at the feet of Jesus. As I read through Psalm 62, my heart lifted. I found my heart echoing David's words: “Truly my soul finds rest in God…Yes, my soul, find rest in God…Trust in him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to him” (verses 1, 5, 8). The Bible has hundreds of verses about rest. Taking time to sleep and care for our bodies is important, and the rest that's even more crucial for our lives is found in the presence of Jesus. In Luke 10:38-42, when Jesus visited Martha's house, He encouraged her to remember the one thing that was more important than all the things she needed to get done: sitting at His feet. Jesus offers us rest in His presence. As we spend time in His Word, in prayer, and with His people, He gives us the spiritual rest our souls crave. We can embrace the soul-rest God offers by pouring out our hearts to Him and allowing His unfailing love to fill us up. • Savannah Coleman • When do you find it difficult to rest? • Why do you think it's important to spend time pouring out our hearts to Jesus and being reminded of His love, both individually and with other Christians? • Sleep is an important part of our physical and emotional health. Sometimes, we need help in order to give our bodies the sleep we need, and that's okay. If you're having difficulty sleeping, who is a trusted adult you can talk to, such as a parent, counselor, or doctor? “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I [Jesus] will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28 (NIV)