Podcasts about narcisism

Welcome to today's episode of Making Sense of Domestic Abuse. In the United States alone, over 10 million people experience domestic violence each year. These are not just statistics—they are real stories of pain, resilience, and, ultimately, hope. Today, we're joined by someone who has lived through the darkness and emerged with a mission to shine a light for others. Lindsay Abernathy is a mother of four, an accomplished actress, and the host of the podcast Bitch Is A Bad Word: A Domestic Abuse Survivors Guide. Through candid conversations and expert insights, Lindsay empowers survivors to recognize abuse, reclaim their voices, and rebuild their lives.  Lindsay Abernathy's journey is one of transformation. Known for her roles in productions like Fast Five, The Walking Dead, and Avengers Assemble! Lindsay's on-screen presence was a mask for her battle off-screen. As a survivor of domestic violence and abuse, she turned her mess into her message. As an advocate she has created a platform where survivors can find solidarity and strength. Her podcast, Bitch Is A Bad Word, is a testament to her commitment to breaking the silence and stigma surrounding domestic violence.    ►Follow Lindsay Abernathy and Bitch is a Bad Word: Instagram: / nitchisabadwordpod   Youtube: / @BitchIsABadWord Podcast:  / https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/bitch-is-a-bad-word-a-domestic-violence-podcast/id1780948251  Resources: 331-248-2437 (BITCHES) Domestic Abuse Hotline: 24 hour/day - 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE)   Welcome to the Makes Sense with Dr. JC Doornick Podcast: This podcast covers topics that expand human consciousness and performance. On the Makes Sense Podcast, we acknowledge that it's who you are that determines how well what you do works, and that perception is a subjective and acquired taste. When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at begin to change. Welcome to the uprising of the sleepwalking masses.    ►Follow Dr. JC Doornick and the Makes Sense Academy: Instagram: / drjcdoornick   Facebook:  / makessensepodcast   YouTube:  / drjcdoornick     Join us as we unpack and make sense of the challenges of living in a comparative reality in this fast moving egocentric world.  MAKES SENSE PODCAST SUBSCRIBE/RATE/REVIEW & SHARE our new podcast. FOLLOW the NEW Podcast—You will find a "Follow" button at the top right. This will enable the podcast software to alert you when a new episode launches each week.  Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/makes-sense-with-dr-jc-doornick/id1730954168 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/1WHfKWDDReMtrGFz4kkZs9?si=003780ca147c4aec   Podcast Affiliates: Kwik Learning: Many people ask me where i get all these topics for almost 15 years? I have learned to read almost 4 times faster with 10X retention from Kwik Learning. Learn how to learn and earn with Jim Kwik. Get his program at a special discount here: https://jimkwik.com/dragon     OUR SPONSORS:  Welcome to the Makes Sense with Dr. JC Doornick Podcast: This podcast covers topics that expand human consciousness and performance. On the Makes Sense Podcast, we acknowledge that it's who you are that determines how well what you do works, and that perception is a subjective and acquired taste. When you change how you look at things, the things you look at begin to change. Welcome to the uprising of the sleepwalking masses. Welcome to the Makes Sense with Dr. JC Doornick Podcast. - Makes Sense Academy: A private mastermind and psychological safe full of the Mindset, and Action steps that will help you begin to thrive. The Makes Sense Academy. https://www.skool.com/makes-sense-academy/about  The Sati Experience: A retreat designed for the married couple that truly loves one another yet wants to take their love to that higher magical level where. Relax, reestablish, and renew your love at the Sati Experience. https://www.satiexperience.com Highlights   3:25 - How did you get on The Walking Dead? 5:37 - What type of woman does the narcissist target? 9:15 - What can I teach my daughter to prevent this? 13:36 - It starts out non-violent, and then it happens 15:45 - Is it getting worse every year? 17:11 - Abuse is a slow burn. “They don't hit you in the face on the first date.” 19:06 - This is a two-way addiction to dopamine hits. 23:47 - Is Abuse commonly connected with substance abuse and cheating? 24:44 - The planning of your exit strategy 29:07 - You need to take a long time away with no contact. 31:29 - 50% of a healthy life for your kids is better than zero 33:24 -  How do you know you are being abused and must get out? 39:13 - The Night that I decided to leave. 41:34 - The Average Woman leaves 7 times before she leaves for good. 45:09 - Does the abuser actually kow how bad whatv they are doing is? 48:16 - One Safe Place Foundation 50:12 - What is the Mission of Bitch is a Bad Word?  

In this episode of the Enough is Enough podcast, you'll learn the warning signs that your loved one is being isolated by a narcissist. Don't ignore the red flags - protect those you care about! Check out Dr. Clarke's new video series here for his step-by-step plan for getting your loved one to leave their toxic relationship. https://dr-david-e-clarke-teaches-counseling.thinkific.com/courses/someone-i-love-is-in-love-with-a-narcissist. Get Dr. Clarke's books: https://www.davideclarkephd.com/bookstore Book a 1:1 phone advice session: https://www.davideclarkephd.com/phone-advice-service    THANKS FOR LISTENING! Please remember to subscribe and leave a rating and review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.

On this podcast episode, Dr. David Clarke discusses how to break the narc trauma bond and finally leave the narcissist.   https://www.davideclarkephd.com

Are you dealing with someone who always seems to be the victim, no matter the situation? It might be a clever tactic by a narcissist. In this video, we'll uncover the signs that someone is using the "poor me" strategy to manipulate and control others. From guilt-tripping to twisting the narrative, learn how to recognize these behaviors and protect yourself from emotional manipulation. Don't let the victim act fool you—arm yourself with the truth. Watch now to take back control!

Are you struggling with how to handle a narcissist in your life who's also battling addiction? In this video, Dr. David Clarke dives into the misconceptions that most Christians—and even churches—have when it comes to dealing with narcissists and addiction. Learn practical, biblical strategies to protect yourself, set boundaries, and confront the truth. Don't let guilt or misguided advice keep you stuck in a toxic cycle.  

How much should we really value altruism?Looking for a link we mentioned? It's here: https://linktr.ee/philosophyforourtimesFrom charity-givers, to those who sacrifice themselves in war for others, we see altrusim and selflessness as virtues to be applauded. Those who take no heed of their own interests are highly praised in Western culture. But many point to a danger. Studies show that altruism gone awry leads to tolerating abusive partners, eating disorders and depression. And critics argue that some of history's most horrific episodes rose from appeals to altruistic tendencies. Forced sterlizations in the West were justified as "better for all the world". Should we see unhampered altruism not only as futile, but actively dangerous? Join Professor of Humanities and Applied Psychology at New York University, Carol Gilligan, feminist icon and Professor of Philosophy at the University of Lodz, Katarzyna de Lazari-Radek, and Research Professor of Biological Anthropology at Harvard University, Richard Wrangham as they debate the dangers of altruism. Robert Lawrence Kuhn hosts.There are thousands of big ideas to discover at IAI.tv – videos, articles, and courses waiting for you to explore. Find out more: https://iai.tv/podcast-offers?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=shownotes&utm_campaign=loving-oneself-and-loving-othersSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Forget wimps; you need tough persons who will fight with you to the end of the divorce. Dr. David Clarke's Books: Escaping Your Narcissist https://www.davideclarkephd.com/product-page/escaping-your-narcissist Enough is Enough: https://www.davideclarkephd.com/product-page/enough-is-enough 20 Lies That Keep You With Your Abuser: https://www.davideclarkephd.com/product-page/20-lies-that-keep-you-with-your-abuser I Didn't Want a Divorce, Now What? https://www.davideclarkephd.com/product-page/i-didn-t-want-a-divorce-now-what  

I'm not trying to be mean or anything, but...It's a weird time for comics of a certain age...Just sittin' here strokin' my caulk...Yaya voodoo...CJ mixes Shien with her designers...I don't want to see any more ham...Freestylin' in room 8...A Leo would not listen to you snore...You had to act as if they didn't exist...A mouth does feel really warm and nice...On my little chatline journey... For more comic relief from J Chris Newburg, check out the links below and come back all week! https://www.thechrisarmy.com/ IG: https://www.instagram.com/thechrisarmy/ Comedy Special: https://youtu.be/DwuyCFVC5lg Newburg Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/newberg/id1455119621

This is the last of the Loving A Narcissist Series. Dr. Heidi is A Toxic Relationship Healing & Awareness Specialist. She is the host of the podcast, It's Not Normal, It's Toxic. She helps people get out, heal, and recover from toxic relationship + emotional abuse.⁣ ⁣ We discuss the definition of a toxic relationship and what happens in your psyche as you attempt to navigate a toxic relationship.⁣ ⁣ ⁣ She offers a toxicity profile analysis to listeners at:⁣ ⁣ www.coachingwithdrheidi.com   Connect with me: Dr. Zoe Shaw on Instagram Dr. Zoe Shaw on Facebook

If you are in a relationship with a narcissist, all of the conventional advice you are likely to get is to figure out how to get OUT of the relationship. That is so much easier said than done. And that advice is not for everyone. There are plenty of valid reasons why people choose to stay in a relationship with a narcissist. In this episode, I provide some hope for health in your life even if you choose to stay. You may be staying because you are trauma bonded, another topic for another day. You may be staying because you feel it's your ethical and moral obligation, you want to keep your family intact, you may be staying for now because you don't feel it's even feasible to leave financially. You may be staying because you are terrified of leaving. All of your reasons are valid and it's okay. In this episode, I address: 1. Why some people choose to stay 2. How to respond to the manipulation tactics in a way that doesn't keep you engaged. 2. The real effects on your body (and psyche) of staying. 3. How to counteract the negative effects and stay healthy when you're in a relationship with a narcissist.   Connect with me: Dr. Zoe Shaw on Instagram Dr. Zoe Shaw on Facebook

Often, when we think of narcissism, we think of a guy who is arrogant, seeks admiration, talks and thinks of only himself and lacks empathy or care. This is a classic view that causes many women to overlook what's going on in their relationships, so I wanted to identify the 5 types of narcissism that might be happening so that you don't feel crazy if someone in your relationship doesn't quite fit the classic idea, but you know something's going on. In this episode, I expand on the five ways that narcissism can be exhibited are: 1. Overt 2. covert 3. antagonistic 4. communal 5. malignant. And I explain how those behaviors show up in relationships. Check out part 1 of the Narcissist Series: HERE   Connect with me: Dr. Zoe Shaw on Instagram Dr. Zoe Shaw on Facebook

This is the first in a series of loving a narcissist. In this episode, Dr. Zoe normalizes feelings that partners of narcissists often experience. She gives specific behavior that you should and should not engage in with a narcissist.   Connect with me: Dr. Zoe Shaw on Instagram Dr. Zoe Shaw on Facebook

Narcissism is growing in our society. We simply have more narcissists than we did 50 years ago and as a result it is very likely that you have come in contact with or are in a relationship with one. It's even more important to note that we all - yes, every one of us have traits of narcissism, which is really just an Ego State. That can make understanding it even more confusing. because everyone is diagnosing those with whom they may be in conflict with- and especially their Exes, it's important to get an idea of what is NOT narcissism. In this episode, I give a run down of what a narcissist is and give 9 examples of common misconceptions of behaviors that do not necessarily indicate narcissism. I also explain why trying to figure out it if you are in a relationship with a narcissist is the biggest waste of time and what you should do instead.   Connect with me: Dr. Zoe Shaw on Instagram Dr. Zoe Shaw on Facebook

Discutăm în acest episod despre narcisism și despre persoanele care trec prin trauma provocată de o relație cu o persoană narcisistă. Am pornit explorarea de la un filmul „Egotrip” al lui Gabriel Sandu, realizat în colaborare cu Andreea Găzdaru (psihoterapeut) și Richard Grannon (psihoterapeut și coach specializat în abuzul narcisic) și am încercat să aflăm cum ne păzim de astfel de persoane și care e drumul spre vindecare, dar și cum se simte și cum evoluează relația cu un narcisist. Ai sub 18 ani, îți recomandăm https://www.sexulvsbarza.ro Toate locurile unde o găsiți pe Kitty Tema muzicală: Dorroo

The one in which we talk about gaslighting and the very harmful psychological impact it has on its targets. 

In Episode Five, we welcome our first female guest and one who gives voice to Narcissistic Abuse Survivors and a perspective that might be hard to hear. Her story of being in a relationship with an extremely abusive, passive-aggressive, covert narcissist is not a rare story, but one that may rarely be heard. However, with the release of her new book, “Misaligned Mind” the world has a resource to help them identify this form of toxic or distorted masculinity, and then empower its victims to walk away and find healing.    In this episode you'll learn: Narcissism as a personality disorder (i.e. it's behaviors) What Trauma Bonding means (i.e. Manipulation & “Love Bombing”) Why boundaries are SO important in a relationship The roadmap of Narcissistic relationship Key Self-Love elements to never compromise on What “Gas Lighting” looks like How Plant Medicine can heal the trauma Links Guest Name: Tricia Macalka https://www.instagram.com/ncmermaid81 https://www.instagram.com/narcmisalignedmind   Host Name: Josh Cearbaugh https://joshcearbaugh.com  https://www.instagram.com/jcearbaugh/  https://facebook.com/joshcearbaugh  https://www.linkedin.com/in/joshcearbaugh/  https://www.jumpstartyourlife.com  Links Host Name: Seth Conner https://sethconner.com https://www.instagram.com/sethaconner/ https://www.facebook.com/iSethConner/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/sethaconner/   Companies, Products & Places Mentioned Narcissist Misaligned Mind: How My Faith And Rebirth Helped Me Escape The Abuse (Tricia Macalka) - https://read.amazon.com/kp/embed?asin=B09D1MHFBX&preview=newtab&linkCode=kpe&ref_=cm_sw_r_kb_dp_VXA2ZS352S7RN4G92DHV   Why Does He Do That (Lundy Bancroft) - https://read.amazon.com/kp/embed?asin=B000Q9J0RO&preview=newtab&linkCode=kpe&ref_=cm_sw_r_kb_dp_9DJ3D5XYTRP9W4JD343J   Narc Abuse TV - https://www.narcabusetv.com/   Mushroom Doctor (psilocybin micro-dosing) www.MushroomDoctor.co/shop   The Power of TED (The Empowerment Dynamic) (https://www.amazon.com/POWER-TED-EMPOWERMENT-DYNAMIC-Anniversary/dp/0996871802)   Default Mode Network (https://psychedelicstoday.com/2020/02/04/psychedelics-and-the-default-mode-network/)

Helping people admit what they feel in order to heal from the effects of narcissism from a Biblical and Psychological perspective. Website: www.NarcAbuseNoMore.org Email: NarcAbuseNoMore@mail.com Donate at: www.NarcissisticAbuseNoMore.com or CASH APP - $evangelistklrch1975IT Iz FINISHED End Times' Ministries Website: www.ITIzFINISHED.com IT Iz FINISHED Email: ITIzFINISHED@mail.comWatch on YouTube at: Narcissistic Abuse No More

Cum recunoaștem narcisismul în relație cu colegii și nu numai? De ce, deși la început persoanele narcisiste par carismatice, relațiile de colaborare sunt dificil de construit? De ce, persoanele care lucrează cu colegi sau lideri narcisiști ajung să se îndoiască de sine, să își piardă încrederea în ei înșiși și în aptitudinile lor? Studii de tip review* arată că beneficiile pe care le aduc aceste tipologii în organizație sunt puține și pe termen scurt, în timp ce impactul negativ asupra calității relațiilor cu ceilalți, a stării de bine și asupra performanței se reflectă la nivel personal, al echipei și al organizației. Deși narcisismul este atras de poziții de leadership pe care aceste peroane sunt convinse că le desfăsoară cel mai bine, această perspectivă nu este confirmată și de ceilalți. Narcisismul blochează colaborarea din și cu echipe, arată studiile, inclusiv în echipele de management de top. Pentru că, în poziții de leadership aceste persoane adoptă o viziune agresivă, îndrăzneață și orientată înspre asumarea riscurilor, de multe ori expun reputația organizațiilor pentru care lucrează. La fel, cu cât cultura dintr-o organizație este mai puțin conștientă de aceste tipare de comportament, cu atât aceste nuanțe vor urca în ierarhie** și vor contura ele cultura, una individualistă, potrivită lor. Invitata acestui episod Mind Education Podcast este Cristina Sterie, președinta Institutului Român de Schema Therapy (IRST), secretar general al Asociației Române de Hipnoterapie și Psihoterapie Cognitiv-Comportamentală (AHPCC), deține acreditarea Avansată în Schema Therapy, este trainer și supervizor de Schema Therapy recunoscută de Socitatea Internațională de Schema Therapy (ISST). min. 04:11 - Sunt trăsăturile narcisiste carismatice? min. 05:25 - De ce aceste nuanțe sunt uneori valorizate în context profesional? min. 09:09 - Care sunt cele mai frecvente tipologii de narcisism? min. 11:07 - Există diferențe de gen în aceste tipologii? min. 12:55 - Cum se exprimă aceste tipare în relațiile de colaborare? min 17:26 - Diferă modul în care colaborează persoanele narcisiste cu colegii față de colaborarea cu autoritatea? min. 19:04 - Cum arată o conversație dificilă cu o persoană narcisistă? min. 20:37 - Ce auzi în cabinet, care sunt perspectivele persoanelor narcisiste și a persoanelor cu care lucrează? min. 24:30 - Ce înseamnă progres în terapie pentru persoanele narcisiste? min. 26:28 - Ce competențe, abilități susțin progresul în terapie? min. 30:13 - În cât timp apare progresul în terapie? min. 32:23 - Cum reduci dependența de muncă la persoanele cu narcisism? min. 36:25 - rcomandări practice și de lectură *Braun S (2017) Leader Narcissism and Outcomes in Organizations: A Review at Multiple Levels of Analysis and Implications for Future Research. Front. Psychol. 8:773. doi: 10.3389/fpsyg.2017.00773 **Pech, R.J. & Slade, B.W. (2007). Organisational sociopaths: rarely challenged, often promoted. Why?. Society and Business Review, 2(3); 254-269. https://doi.org/10.1108/17465680710825451 Music: Sergiu Tuhuțiu. Over Time

The first step is identifying the signs.

In this 3-part episode, Dr. Roger, Teresa and Danielle discuss the effects of loneliness on our health, happiness, and longevity and give suggestions for meeting new people and deepening current social connections. In Part 2, they discuss creative solutions to loneliness, and how to both feel heard and understood, while also being there for others. HELPFUL RESOURCES:What Happens In Your Body When You're Lonelyhttps://health.clevelandclinic.org/what-happens-in-your-body-when-youre-lonely/ Can You Die From Loneliness?https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/what-mentally-strong-people-dont-do/201901/can-you-die-loneliness Some Creative Ways to Deal with Lonelinesshttps://www.convoconnection.com/blog/some-creative-ways-to-deal-with-lonelinessHow to Make Friends and Make Deeper Connections as an Adulthttps://www.bluezones.com/2019/10/how-to-make-friends-and-make-deeper-connections-as-an-adult/?utm_source=BLUE+ZONES+Newsletter&utm_campaign=2ab5e15afa-NOV_2019-1&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_9642311849-2ab5e15afa-199080265&mc_cid=2ab5e15afa&mc_eid=f6d2b3fca3PERMA and Authentic Happiness Tests from the University of Pennsylvaniahttps://www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu/testcenterMen's Shed Association: https://usmenssheds.org

In this special "swapcast" between TMR and Film Gold we are joined by our good friends Antony Rotunno (host of the new Film Gold podcast) and Jenifer Thyssen (classical singer) for the 8th in our Movie Roundtable series. This time our subject is the wonderful 1993 "fantasy romcom" (or is it "fantasy comrom"?) Groundhog Day, starring Bill Murray and Andie MacDowell, directed by Harold Ramis. While on location filming the annual celebration of Groundhog Day in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania, cynical and jaded TV weather presenter Phil Connors (Bill Murray) finds himself inexplicably caught up in a mysterious time loop that forces him to re-live the same day—Grounhog Day (which he loaths)—over and over again for a seeming eternity. The inexorable repetition (which he alone experiences) thrusts him into a succession of psychological states—confusion, denial, nihilistic anger, extreme selfishishness, and finally acceptance—as he is forced to interact with the events and people of that seemingly endless February 2nd. Yet only at the point when he himself has changed inside, such that he gains the true affection of TV producer Rita Hanson (Andie MacDowell), does the time loop cease and his life begin again in a new way. Join us as we discuss the production, and reflect theologically/psychologically on the film's messages and implications. For show notes please visit https://themindrenewed.com

In this special "swapcast" between TMR and Film Gold we are joined by our good friends Antony Rotunno (host of the new Film Gold podcast) and Jenifer Thyssen (classical singer) for the 8th in our Movie Roundtable series. This time our subject is the wonderful 1993 "fantasy romcom" (or is it "fantasy comrom"?) Groundhog Day, starring Bill Murray and Andie MacDowell, directed by Harold Ramis. While on location filming the annual celebration of Groundhog Day in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania, cynical and jaded TV weather presenter Phil Connors (Bill Murray) finds himself inexplicably caught up in a mysterious time loop that forces him to re-live the same day—Grounhog Day (which he loaths)—over and over again for a seeming eternity. The inexorable repetition (which he alone experiences) thrusts him into a succession of psychological states—confusion, denial, nihilistic anger, extreme selfishishness, and finally acceptance—as he is forced to interact with the events and people of that seemingly endless February 2nd. Yet only at the point when he himself has changed inside, such that he gains the true affection of TV producer Rita Hanson (Andie MacDowell), does the time loop cease and his life begin again in a new way. Join us as we discuss the production, and reflect theologically/psychologically on the film's messages and implications. For show notes please visit https://themindrenewed.com

19. Ankylosaurus & Echoism: Je Suis Always AnxiousIn this special episode of Secret Dinosaur Cult, Sofie and Jodie open up to a live audience about Echoism. What it is, how it impacts the lives of Echoists and how discovering the term has changed both of their lives. Episode References: -Travis Alabanza and their work can be found at www.travisalabanza.co.uk and on twitter and instagram @travisalabanza -For a more in depth look at echoism, see Donna Savery’s book, ‘Echoism: The Silenced Response to Narcisism’.Hosted by Sofie Hagen and Jodie Mitchell.Produced by Justine McNichol for Dying Alone Ltd.Jingle by Harriet Braine.Photo by Gavin Smart.Logo by Annaliese Nappa.Recorded at The Phoenix Arts Club, London.Follow Secret Dinosaur Cult:Twitter: https://twitter.com/secretdinocultInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/secretdinosaurcult/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SecretDinosaurCult/ See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

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Inspired by Shahida Arabi's incredible article 5 SIGNS YOU’RE DEALING WITH A NARCISSISTIC “HEALER,” THERAPIST OR GURU join Evelyn Ryan and Kristin Walker to discuss what you need to watch out for. Part II of one of our best shows on this timely topic and based on real life events with toxic "healers", every person affected by the ridiculous, absurd, and dangerous emotional rapists that are the truly disordered needs to listen to this show. Evelyn Ryan is the author of Take Your Power Back: Healing Lessons, Tips, and Tools for Abuse Survivors and life coach for narcissistic abuse survivors at www.yourlifelifter.com. Kristin Walker is the host of Mental Health News Radio and CEO of Mental Health News Radio Network.

Tehnocultura SciCast 023 a fost înregistrat duminică, în data de 29 ianuarie 2017, în Londra, Marea Britanie. Subiectele zilei:1. Este spațiul cosmic o rezervație naturală? Nu și sper să nu devină.2. Narcisism în lumea științei: există3. Esecul în lumea științei: drumul către succes este pavat cu eșecuri necesare Show notes: tehnocultura.ro

Join the full gang of Scotty Aaron, Tony and Sam for a ten mile run with local runner, marathon maniac, half fanatic and recent 100 mile finisher Janel Jacobsen Kraus.  Also on this episode:   Special skype guest Claudia Johnston who won the MadCity 50K and qualified for the national team;   Scotty and Aaron take a quiz to determine if they are narcisists   Interesting results    2Toms, Amazon, Aaron's new bike, and much much more               

With respect to business ethics, ethical judgment is better overall for those who are nominally religious or highly religious, but narcissism moderates the affects of ethical judgment. Avoid narcisists. They leave a wave of destruction behind them.

Can anybody here identify with the character in the skit? Is there something youd want to change if you could? Maybe youd like to be taller. Anybody wish they were taller? Anybody wish you were skinnier? Anybody wish you were heavier? I was going to say you people need to leave (congregation laughing). Well, we all have something we wish we could change. Maybe its our ears, our eyes, our noses, our chins, the way we walk or some sort of attribute. All of us in this room [have something wed like to change]. Let me see your hands if there is something that you could change, you would. Sure. How many of you think that maybe you fixate on that a little bit more than you should? Yeah, a lot of us do. We fixate on that. Its just really important to us, and that becomes what we focus on. Instead of being thankful for the attributes that we do have from God, we begin to focus on the things that we wish were different. We begin to focus on our outward self. Sometimes we neglect our inward self, and that's what were going to be talking about this morning. Its interesting-we dont know what Jesus looked like. We have an idea. We can have conjecture, but we dont know what He looked like. We do have a physical description of Him in Isaiah 53. Its interesting-when you think about it-when God took on flesh, He could have chosen to look any way He wanted to look. He could have been the Biblical Brad Pitt, but it says in Isaiah 53:2 (page 731 of pew Bibles) He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to Him-nothing in His appearance that we should desire Him. God took on flesh; He chose to become just an average-looking individual, nothing out of the ordinary-nothing striking about His physical features. He was simply an average-looking man. Were going to be talking about that this morning. Were going to be talking about just the way God made us. Were going to talk about some-I guess-of the downfalls or the pitfalls of fixation on outward appearance. Often, we spend a lot of money in our society in outward appearance. I want to say off the bat that those things arent necessarily wrong. We should care about our appearance. I dont want you to come to church next Sunday looking like you just rolled out of bed with your hair undone, your teeth not brushed. You should care about your appearance. Those things are important, but as a society, we become fixated with those things. How many billions of dollars are spent every year on our hair, how our hair looks and feels; our eyebrows; our toenails; our fingernails; our clothing; diet; exercise; cosmetic surgery. All of these things focus on the external, and the external is important; but we as a society fixate on that, and when we fixate on that, there are certain detriments from that sort of fixation. There are certain negative consequences that we need to be mindful of. The first thing were going to talk about-if youll turn in your Bibles to 1 Samuel 16-is that is the deception of outward appearance. Outward appearance can be something that is deceptive. Were going to look at an example in Israels history of a time when they had rejected God as their King and chose instead to have a man as their King. That man was Saul. They wanted to do this because they wanted to be like other nations. They wanted to have a King like other nations. They wanted a man to lead them into battle. They didnt want to just say God was their King anymore. They wanted to say, Look, here is our King. So Saul was chosen, and Saul looked like a King. He stood head and shoulders above everybody else. He was this large stature of a man. He just looked like a King, so he became the King of Israel; but he lacked character. He was not a good leader. He was very self-serving. In fact, Samuel tried to warn them that the King would be self-serving; whereas God would look after their best interest, the King would look after himself. Israel would hear none of it, so God relented and said to Samuel, Give them a King. A successor was going to be chosen. That successor lived in a city called Bethlehem. Bethlehem at that time was not famous, and the successor was not famous. He was simply Davie in the field, a pimply-faced kid going through adolescence, being picked on by his big brothers. He loved to be outside; loved being a shepherd; loved to play with his slingshot; loved to read the Bible; to write music; to play his harp; but he was not famous. He was not well-known, nor was his family. It was to that town that God sent the Prophet, Samuel. Samuel kind of reminds me of an old Jedi Knight from Star Wars. You look at an old Jedi Knight, and theres nothing scary about them. Theres nothing intimidating about them from their physical appearance, but youre intimidated because you know they have power, right? They have the Force behind them, and they can do things. They can manipulate; they can levitate; they can do all these things. They have power, so Yoda or Obi-Wan come to town and youre afraid of them. Hes powerful. Im showing you what a geek I am right now. So Samuel comes to town, and hes old. Hes frail. Hes probably using a cane to walk, but when Samuel comes in town, it would strike fear into your heart because he was a man of God. He had the power of God behind his words. Whatever he said came to pass, so when he comes to town, they say, Are you here for good or bad, Samuel? Are you going to give us a prophesy of something bad thats going to happen to us by the hand of God? He says, No, Ive come in peace. Ive come for something good. Ive come for something righteous. He met Jesse and his sons, and he shared a meal with them. He had a horn full of oil that he was going to anoint the next King with. Jesse is to bring his sons one by one to the Prophet, and God will show him which one will be the next king of Israel. Verse 6 (page 278 of pew Bibles) says, When they arrived, Samuel saw Eliab and thought, Surely the Lords anointed stands here before the Lord. He saw him and he said to himself, This guy looks like a King. We dont need to know what Eliab looked like. We can tell from Samuels response that Eliab looked the part. He was probably tall, muscular, chiseled, Hollywood good-looks. He looked brave and courageous. Eliab walks into the room, and you go, Theres a leader. Theres the King. That has to be the guy. Isnt it good to know that even somebody like Samuel can learn a lesson from time to time? Even an old wise Prophet can learn a thing or two, and God uses that as a teaching moment. He says to him in Verse 7, …the Lord said to Samuel, Do not consider his appearance or height… Dont put more weight on his physical appearance than you should. …for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart. You and I look at outward appearance. We do, but God looks at the heart. One by one the sons paraded in front of Samuel, and one by one he rejected them. Finally, they reached the end, and he was like, Are there no other sons? Is there nobody else you can bring? He says, Theres Davie in the field, my youngest, but you know. That's Davie. Bring him here. So they go out in the field and get David. David comes in all gangly, What, Dad? The Prophet Samuel is here. God speaks to Samuels heart, and He says, This is the one Ive chosen to be King. In this young man is a heart that seeks Me. Dont judge by outward appearance. Outward appearances can be deceptive. The Pharisees look so holy and righteous. They paraded around in their robes, their long robes, their phylacteries and all the ornaments, trimmings and colors. People would look at them and say, Look how handsome! Look how powerful! Look how righteous they are! Jesus warned them in Matthew 23:27-28 (page 981). He said, You look beautiful on the outside, but inside you are unclean. Youre like a whitewash tomb that looks beautiful on the outside, but inside is full of corruption and decay. Theres a story I love to tell about a little boy named Charlie. Charlie Willette was four years old. When he was three years old, he went through a terrible burning accident. He had burns over his whole body, second- and third-degree burns. The mortality rate for somebody with Charlies degrees of burns was 100 percent. He should have been dead. There was no way he should have lived, but he did. Through the help of cosmetic surgery, they tried their best to reconstruct a face. I dont mean this in any way to be demeaning to him because hes a precious, precious young man, but his face looked like that of a monster-literally. It you were a child, it would have been very scary to look at him. Charlie came to school. His parents wanted him to have as normal of an upbringing as he could, so they brought him to preschool. When Charlie walked into the room, the children screamed and cried because of his appearance. They hid their faces in their moms and dads laps. They went to their teachers for help and security. How did that affect that little guy? How do you think that affected him? Would he cry? Would he want to leave? His parents had trained him better than that. Charlie looked at the children, and he said, You may not like me now, but wait until you get to know me! The article said within days the children would run up to Charlie and hug him as their new friend because Charlie had an inner beauty that was appealing. Beauty-outward appearance-is deceptive. There is another warning that Gods Word has for us. That is that outward appearance or a fixation on outward appearance can at times be destructive. It can be a destructive thing. Turn in your Bibles to the Book of Ezekiel 28 (page 848). In the Book of Ezekiel, the Prophet has a very unusual prophesy here. Hes talking about the King of Tyre, and at a certain point-right around Verses 11-12, the prophesy transitions from being that of a man to speaking now of a supernatural being, of an angelic being. We know that because he speaks of this being as being in the Garden of Eden. He speaks of this being as being a guardian cherub. When you think of Lucifer, do you think of beauty? When you think of the devil, you dont think of beauty, do you? The downfall of Lucifer, according to the Scripture, was beauty. Verse 17, Your heart became proud on account of your beauty, and you corrupted your wisdom because of your splendor. So I threw you to the earth… Pride. Satan became consumed with himself, with his beauty, with his splendor. There is a danger if you have a preoccupation with your looks. Lets say you are very handsome or you are very beautiful. There can be a propensity for you to be prideful in your appearance. Lets say you succeed, guys, and you get that six-pack. Lets say, ladies, you succeed and you get that six inch waist that you want. Theres a danger in that. I remember years ago in Rockford at the YMCA, we used to have a guy that would come into the weight room who we called the Peacock. The Peacock would come in the weight room, and we called him Peacock because he was always strutting. He was always just admiring himself. He had his chest out, his arms up, and he had this look on his face like, Thats right. Thats right-Im better looking than you. That's right. I have muscles everywhere. He would walk around just strutting and looking in the mirror all the time-all the time. He was just looking at himself and posing. Wed say, Here comes the Peacock. Here comes the Peacock! There is a little bit of a danger in that-a pride factor that can enter in. Or there can be the desire to look like that or be like that can be detrimental. Eating disorders happen that way. A girl gets an image in her mind of what she should look like, and so an eating disorder sets in because she wants to look like that; so shell eat, and then shell force her food to come back up, so she can be skinny. There is an epidemic in our athletic community-even in high school and college. There are young students that want to look like the guys in the magazine. They want to have the big guns, the big arms. A big chest, they want to be strong and muscular and look like those guys; so they shoot up anabolic steroids to the destruction of their own health, to the shortness of their own life expectancy. Vanity-dangerous. The Bible says be mindful of that. An outward appearance can lead to pride if one is successful or one is beautiful or handsome. It can also lead to a detriment to our health in the steps or lengths that people will go to acquire and achieve the look that they desire. There is a third aspect of a fixation of an outward appearance that we need to be mindful of. That is a fixation of an outward appearance is relative. Its relative. It really is. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I remember hearing about a missionary who went to a culture in Africa. The missionary had a very thin wife, and when they saw the wife, they quickly told the missionary, You do not take care of your wife, and your wife is not very attractive. She is not attractive at all in fact. In that culture, the bigger the woman was, the more attractive she was because the size represented prosperity, wealth, and health. They have a saying in that culture-there is a saying that I dont remember exactly how it goes, but the gist of it is like this: If you have a camel and your wife gets on a camel, and she is so big the camel cannot rise, that is a beautiful woman. Its true. Im not making this stuff up. That's what they believe in that culture. It would be interesting if the travel agencies start calling me going, Why are we getting all these requests for tickets to Africa from your congregation? I dont know exactly what tribe it is, but I can find out for you. It starts with a T. They have a whole different concept of beauty than we do. Again, I wont elaborate on this much longer because we touched on it a little bit a couple weeks ago, but just envision a back. Its a healthy, strong back-a muscular back. On the other side, theres another back. That back is a little bit arthritic. Its a little bit hunched over. There are knots on it; there are sores on it; and there are scars on it up and down, side to side, long grotesque scars. There is scar tissue everywhere across that back. I say to you, Which back is more beautiful? Youd be inclined to say, Well, this back over here, this muscular back. What if I told you that the back over here was the back of the Apostle Paul? Galatians 6:17 said that his back bears the scars of the Lord Jesus Christ. He had been beaten 39 times with the cat-o-nine-tails because of his faith and because he would not deny the Lord. You look at those backs, and you say, Which back is the most beautiful? Thats relative, isnt it? I think we would say this back over here with the scars because we understand what those scars came from. We might walk into our church some Sunday-maybe before Laura can tidy up the care station; maybe it looks untidy. They do a good job with it. They do a really good job with it because its a dynamic changing thing all the time. Maybe there are clothes out of place, or maybe there are some diapers strewn-not used ones, mind you, but the ones in the package. I want to tell you something-that care station is beautiful! Its beautiful. There was a time in our old building when the children would get so loud that it was sometimes distracting to the adult service, but the noise coming from that portion of the building is beautiful because those children were learning about the Lord. Beauty is relative. I have in my yard a ground cover I dont want anymore. At one time I wanted the ground cover, but I dont want it anymore. Its become a little bit of a problem for me. It seems like I cannot get rid of it. Ive tried to pull it up. Ive tried spraying stuff on it. It just keeps coming back because Ive never gotten to the root system. There are all kinds of rocks over it. Now Id have to move all these rocks, dig in the soil and get out the root system, and put all the rocks back. I dont want to do that; so instead every spring I just keep pulling the ground cover and trying again to get rid of it, but I cant because roots are there. What is the root cause of this? What is the root cause of our need for approval, our fixation on outward appearance? The root cause is an insecurity. The root cause is a lack of self-worth, of self-esteem. God wants you to have a healthy self-esteem. God does not want you to be prideful or arrogant, but God wants you to realize that your life has purpose. He has put things within you of value, worth and significance. We have to deal with the root cause. If Im secure in whom I am-if Im secure in how God made me to be rather than fixated on my shortcomings, I can be content inside. Psalm 139 (page 618)-a passage that we looked at earlier-if youd turn there in your Bibles. It was written by David, King David-Psalm, a song, for the Jewish people. I want to draw your attention to Verse 13. David writes, For You created me in my inmost being; You knit me together in my mothers womb. I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well. David recognized that God had made things in him that were good, and he praised God for that. He didnt go, Oh, shucks. Theres nothing good in me. Thats not healthy. He was able to see there were certain aspects of his life. There were certain attributes and characteristics. There are certain qualities that I possess that are good, that are wonderful. Whats more-he acknowledged that God was the source of those things. There is nothing wrong with that, friends. In fact, that is a healthy thing to do. Have you ever noticed how its so easy to just disregard compliments, but even the most subtle criticism is devastating? Have you noticed that? Somebody will say something very flattering, Oh, shucks. Thats not true. But if somebody maybe looks at you funny or says something that you take the wrong way, youre devastated by it. There is nothing wrong with saying, You know, listen, I have some strengths. I have some things about me that are beneficial for others. I have some qualities that I possess that are good, and Im thankful for them. I recognize that God is the source, and I attribute to Him thanks for those qualities. Thats a healthy thing to do. My frame was not hidden from You when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, Your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in Your book before one of them came to be. How precious to me are Your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand. When I awake, I am still with You. David recognized his worth in the sight of God. David recognized the fact that he had been made with design and purpose. Its not an accident. You are the result of divine creation. When I truly come to understand the worth that I have-that its intrinsic-because of my Creator, He has made me in His image, that I have a purpose to live out. There are days ordained from me. There is a purpose that I am to walk in. There are gifts, talents and abilities that He has placed within my heart to be a blessing to other people, to be a blessing to the Kingdom. I can then form a sense of healthy self-worth, a healthy self-image, not strutting around like a peacock looking in the mirror, but a sense of humility. It says that God has placed within me some good things. Im going to develop them, and Im going to use them to help others and to bring God glory. I want us to focus on a few questions this morning and just reflect on them. Before I asked you to raise your hand and respond. This time were not going to do that. These are just questions that youre going to reflect on, but the answers to these questions really will be a reflection on your inner man. Question #1: What receives more of your thoughts, efforts and resources: your outward appearance or your inner self? Think about that. The amount of time you spend on your appearance, the clothing, your hair, your makeup, your nails, your body, your diet and exercise: think about all the time you spend on a given day or in a given week on your appearance, and if we were to put that on a scale, thats on one side; on this side is the amount of time you spend developing your character, your Godliness and righteousness. How does that compare? Which side of the scale is carrying the most weight in your life? How about another question? What matters to you the most: what other people think about you or what God thinks about you? What matters to you the most? What are you more concerned about? If you were to do something that you know God is pleased with but others might not necessarily be, how would you choose to live? What would you choose to do? The third question to reflect on: If you could choose only one, which would you choose: inner our outer beauty? If you could choose only one… Guys, you could be as handsome as you wanted to be, as muscular as you want to be. Ladies, you could have any kind of face that you wanted, any kind of figure you wanted-would you choose that, or would you choose to be a man or woman of impeccable character and integrity, kindness, gentleness, love and compassion? You can have one or the other, but you cant have both. Have you ever been with somebody who maybe outwardly has an attractive appearance but wasnt a very nice person? After a while, they really started to seem kind of unattractive. Or the transverse is true, youve been with a person who is really nothing to look at-just an average person like you and I; but once you got to know him or her, he or she was so beautiful on the inside. This became beautiful in his or her appearance to you. I remember hearing a story. Supposedly it was a true story about something that happened at Disneyland. You know if you ever have taken your kids there-I dont know if you have or not-but Cinderellas castle is there, and thats always a highlight. So much of what they do has Cinderellas palace in the background. Occasionally they will bring out Cinderella. You know if Disneyland is going to cast a woman as Cinderella, she is going to be pretty, right? She will come out in her gown, her hair is done up, she has on her princess crown, and she has on the big gown. The children see her and they just go bananas, especially the little girls. They want to be by Cinderella; they want to touch Cinderella; they want Cinderella to sign their books. They want to ask questions to Cinderella about Prince Charming, so its quite a scene as shes just mobbed as she comes out. What a fun gig, right? So one day this Cinderella, a beautiful young girl, was out there meeting the children and talking. In the corner of her eye, she saw a little girl who was standing in the background. This little girl had a deformity. There was something wrong with her face. When Cinderella made eye contact with her, she looked away. She was embarrassed and ashamed. She didnt want to be seen by Cinderella. There was something about Cinderellas beauty that made her disfigurements seem even more grotesque and unpleasant, so she hid her face. Cinderella began walking in her direction until she met her. She got down face to face, and she made eye contact. She made her look at her. She stroked her hair, and she looked at that little face and saw how inferior she felt. She saw how out of place she felt next to the beauty of Cinderella. Cinderella bent over, whispered in her ear and said these words, I wish you were my little girl. I wish you belonged to me. How did that raise that little girls spirit, her self-worth? [She was probably thinking], Cinderella sees something in me that she values, and she wishes I were hers. Ladies, would you rather have the beauty of Cinderella or have the heart of the girl, a woman, who would do that for a little girl? Psalm 139, as we read that, it says, If God were whispering in our ears and saying to you and I, Im glad youre Mine. Im glad you belong to Me. Im glad I made you. I made you talented. I made you musical. I made you athletic. I made you smart. I made you reflective. I made you a social butterfly. I made you skilled with your hands. How did God make you? Lets take a moment to just thank Him for the way Hes made us. Lets take a moment to ask God to help us to have contentment. Lets ask God to help us to focus on our inner self and put that first. If youre here this morning, and youve never given your life to Christ, thats a starting point for you. I just want to invite you today to invite Christ to be Lord of your life; to come into your heart; to forgive your sins; to give you His spirit to guide you, to lead you and to empower you to be the person that He wants you to be-that you want to be. Lets pray together. Would you stand, please? Father, when Samuel came walking into that village an old man bent over and using a cane, there was something in him that was powerful. That something was You. That someone was You. Your power was in him. There was an inner strength that Samuel possessed, a faith, a trust. That same spirit was in David, though on the outward hes just the opposite of Samuel-young, strong, but just a child. His appearance fooled his father, fooled his brother. It even fooled Samuel, but, Lord, You saw his heart. You saw within him great strength. You saw within him the heart of a shepherd. As he would shepherd the sheep, one day he would shepherd Your people. Lord, when You look at us, you dont just see whats on the outside. You see our hearts. You see our longings; You see our insecurities. I pray this morning that You would deal with those insecurities; that Youd help us to get to the roots of those insecurities; that we will see ourselves for what we are-people that have been made in the image of God, people who have an inner beauty that can be developed and can grow. Lord, we sometimes buy into the lie of the world. We become fixated with external things, what man sees-what we see in the mirror. We begin to place more importance, more of our time, resources, efforts and thoughts and we become consumed with that which is temporal. Lord, beauty is relative. Help us to see beauty through your eyes. Help us to strive to be beautiful on the inside while we still take care of our outside. Help us to have that healthy self-esteem which sees the gifts You have given us, acknowledges them and then offers the thanks back to You for them. In Jesus name, we pray-entrusting in You, the One who took our place on the cross. Youre the One who could have come to look anyway You wanted, but You chose to be just an average person in Your looks. Inside, Lord Jesus, You are the most beautiful person that ever walked the face of the earth. Your life was the most precious life that ever lived, and You offer that life in our place. This morning, we worship You. We give You thanks. We pray that You would help us to remember this message as we go about now our days, our weeks-that we would apply this to our lives by the wisdom of Your Spirit. In Jesus name, we pray. Amen.

these young teens out here think they know everything. (sarcasm)

these young teens out here think they know everything. (sarcasm)