Adoption: The Making of Me

Jacqueline, now 63 and living in Cape Town, South Africa, was born in Nairobi, Kenya, in 1962, following a relationship between her English-born biological mother, a professional actress on contract to a theatre company in Nairobi, and her Welsh and Irish biological father, a radio announcer in Nairobi. Following Jacqueline's birth, and the abandonment of her and her biological mother by her biological father, her biological mother followed him to Zimbabwe, but he refused involvement or responsibility. At Jacqueline's biological mother's father's "pleading" with her to "keep the baby", she returned to her acting career, subjecting Jacqueline to 16 months of severe abuse and neglect, which resulted in her being adopted at 16 months in Zimbabwe. While her physical needs were very well met within her adoptive family, her emotional needs were neglected, her manifest trauma being strictly discouraged, and the emotional abuse was perpetuated. Following a lifetime of fear/anxiety, specifically relationship-related, and recurring severe despair/depression, Jacqueline's belief, and message to fellow adoptees and healthcare professionals working with adoption-related and general childhood trauma, is this: sometimes the trauma is too early, too severe and too prolonged for healing to be possible, but the cycle of abuse can be broken. Jacqueline lives the proof that acceptance, compassion, and forgiveness are possible. She has broken the cycles of neglect and abuse, evident in her relationship with her daughter and son, with whom she has a relationship of deep love, mutual respect, and much joy and care.Season 11: Adoptee Memoirs - books in order:Practically Still a Virgin by Monica HallYou Can't Get Rid of Me by Jesse Scott and Keri AultUnspoken by Liz HarvieSign up for our mailing list to get updates and the Eventbrite for our September 12th & 13th Washington, D.C. Event!Thank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly ADOPTEE CAFE community. The next meeting will be on Saturday, July 12th, @ 1 PM ET.RESOURCES for Adoptees:S12F Helping AdopteesGregory Luce and Adoptees Rights LawFireside Adoptees Facebook GroupDr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness MovementMoses Farrow - Trauma therapist and advocateNational Suicide Prevention Lifeline – 1-800-273-8255 OR Dial or Text 988.Unraveling Adoption with Beth SyversonAdoptees Connect with Pamela KaranovaBecause She Was Adopted by Kristal ParkeDear Amy, letters to Amy Coney Barrett. A project by Meika RoudaSupport the showTo support the show - Patreon.

Sariah is a Chinese Adoptee adopted by a White American Mormon family and recently left the Mormon faith to find herself and to find her birth family. Trigger warning: This episode includes discussion of suicidal ideation, which may be distressing for some listeners.Season 11: Adoptee Memoirs - books in order:Practically Still a Virgin by Monica HallYou Can't Get Rid of Me by Jesse Scott and Keri AultUnspoken by Liz HarvieSign up for our mailing list to get updates and the Eventbrite for our September 12th & 13th Washington, D.C. Event!Thank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly ADOPTEE CAFE community. The next meeting will be on Saturday, July 12th, @ 1 PM ET.RESOURCES for Adoptees:S12F Helping AdopteesGregory Luce and Adoptees Rights LawFireside Adoptees Facebook GroupDr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness MovementMoses Farrow - Trauma therapist and advocateNational Suicide Prevention Lifeline – 1-800-273-8255 OR Dial or Text 988.Unraveling Adoption with Beth SyversonAdoptees Connect with Pamela KaranovaBecause She Was Adopted by Kristal ParkeDear Amy, letters to Amy Coney Barrett. A project by Meika RoudaSupport the showTo support the show - Patreon.

Carol was born in Washington, DC, relinquished at birth in 1960, subsequently adopted in 1961 by a family who had adopted another daughter the year before.She began her reunion in 2017 by finding out she was the baby sister of 3 half sisters, 2 full sisters, and her father by DNA. Season 11: Adoptee Memoirs - books in order:Practically Still a Virgin by Monica HallYou Can't Get Rid of Me by Jesse Scott and Keri AultUnspoken by Liz HarvieSign up for our mailing list to get updates and the Eventbrite - (soon to be published) - for our September 12th & 13th Washington, D.C. Event!Thank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly ADOPTEE CAFE community. The next meeting will be on Saturday, July 12th, @ 1 PM ET.RESOURCES for Adoptees:S12F Helping AdopteesGregory Luce and Adoptees Rights LawFireside Adoptees Facebook GroupDr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness MovementMoses Farrow - Trauma therapist and advocateNational Suicide Prevention Lifeline – 1-800-273-8255 OR Dial or Text 988.Unraveling Adoption with Beth SyversonAdoptees Connect with Pamela KaranovaBecause She Was Adopted by Kristal ParkeDear Amy, letters to Amy Coney Barrett. A project by Meika RoudaSupport the showTo support the show - Patreon.

Cameron Lee Small, MS, LPCC, is a licensed clinical counselor, transracial adoptee, and mental health advocate based in Minneapolis, Minnesota. He was born in Korea and was relinquished into foster care at age three. He was then adopted in 1984 by a family in the United States. His private practice, Therapy Redeemed, specializes in the mental health needs of adoptees and their families wherever they may be in their adoption journey. His work has been featured in Christianity Today, the National Council for Adoption, and the Center for Adoption Support and Education.To find Cameron Lee Small: Therapy RedeemedSeason 11: Adoptee Memoirs (begins on June 10th) - next books in order:Practically Still a Virgin by Monica HallYou Can't Get Rid of Me by Jesse Scott and Keri AultUnspoken by Liz HarvieSign up for our mailing list to get updates and the Eventbrite - (soon to be published) - for our September 12th & 13th Washington, D.C. Event!Thank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly ADOPTEE CAFE community. The next meeting will be on Saturday, June 7th, @ 1 PM ET.RESOURCES for Adoptees:S12F Helping AdopteesGregory Luce and Adoptees Rights LawFireside Adoptees Facebook GroupDr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness MovementMoses Farrow - Trauma therapist and advocateNational Suicide Prevention Lifeline – 1-800-273-8255 OR Dial or Text 988.Unraveling Adoption with Beth SyversonAdoptees Connect with Pamela KaranovaBecause She Was Adopted by Kristal ParkeDear Amy, letters to Amy Coney Barrett. A project by Meika RoudaSupport the showTo support the show - Patreon.

Sandi Morgan Caesar is a transnational adoptee. She was born Cristina Rodriguez in Panamá to a 14-year-old girl who parented her for most of her 1st year. Ultimately, she was placed for adoption by her maternal grandmother without the knowledge or consent of her first mother. Sandi was adopted by a Black US Air Force family stationed in Panamá at the time. She was naturalized as a US citizen and then brought to the US at 3 years old. It was about this time that she asked her mom why they didn't have the same face. She grew up in Dayton, Ohio, with older siblings (biological to her adoptive father). Although she thought finding family in Panamá would be impossible, Sandi reunited with her birthmother and maternal family in 2004. Sandi holds a B.S. degree in Human Development from Howard University, an M.S.W. from Indiana University, and has worked in child welfare most of her career.Sign up for our mailing list to get updates and the Eventbrite - (soon to be published) - for our September 12th & 13th Washington, D.C. Event!Thank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly ADOPTEE CAFE community. The next meeting will be on Saturday, June 7th, @ 1 PM ET.RESOURCES for Adoptees:S12F Helping AdopteesGregory Luce and Adoptees Rights LawFireside Adoptees Facebook GroupDr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness MovementMoses Farrow - Trauma therapist and advocateNational Suicide Prevention Lifeline – 1-800-273-8255 OR Dial or Text 988.Unraveling Adoption with Beth SyversonAdoptees Connect with Pamela KaranovaBecause She Was Adopted by Kristal ParkeDear Amy, letters to Amy Coney Barrett. A project by Meika RoudaSupport the showTo support the show - Patreon.

Carol Hoeksema was born at the Salvation Army Evangeline Home for unwed mothers in Grand Rapids, Michigan, in 1957, where she stayed the first 13 days of her life before going to an unknown foster family arranged by Bethany Christian Services. At 3 months, she was given to her adoptive parents and raised in the Dutch immigrant community of Pella, Iowa. She always knew that she was adopted and was curious about her roots. At age 19, she started her search by going to the adoption agency, and over the next 15 years, she was able to find and contact the families of both birth parents. After experiencing a secondary rejection by her mother, she found healing and belonging in doing genealogy research. In contrast, her late father's family welcomed her with open arms. She has lived a rich life, full of family, friends, and adventures. A retired family physician, Carol lives with her husband on Camano Island, Washington. They have 3 grown children and 4 grandchildren. In this interview, she tells the story of her adoption and search for her roots so that her descendants will know their history, too, and wants to give hope to others experiencing birth mother rejection.Sign up for our mailing list to get updates and the Eventbrite - (soon to be published) - for our September 12th & 13th Washington, D.C. Event!Thank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly ADOPTEE CAFE community. The next meeting will be on Saturday, June 7th, @ 1 PM ET.RESOURCES for Adoptees:S12F Helping AdopteesGregory Luce and Adoptees Rights LawFireside Adoptees Facebook GroupDr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness MovementMoses Farrow - Trauma therapist and advocateNational Suicide Prevention Lifeline – 1-800-273-8255 OR Dial or Text 988.Unraveling Adoption with Beth SyversonAdoptees Connect with Pamela KaranovaBecause She Was Adopted by Kristal ParkeDear Amy, letters to Amy Coney Barrett. A project by Meika RoudaSupport the showSupport the showTo support the show - Patreon.

Born in 1963, Stephen Payne was five weeks old when his parents adopted him through the Volunteers of America. He grew up an only child in a loving family. At age three, he overheard his parents discussing his adoption with friends. His mother explained it to him in age-appropriate terms, which mostly satisfied his curiosity, yet occasionally left nagging questions.That inner conflict may have affected his earliest days in school, where he struggled. A diagnosis of ADHD confirmed some of this inner turmoil. A portion of this, Stephen has since learned, was hereditary, possibly caused, too, by adoption. Plus, some cruel neighborhood children ridiculed him about his parentage. Yet 4th grade marked a shift.Better study habits, unwavering support from family, and several kind teachers and librarians fueled dramatic improvement in his grades, then and later. Nonetheless, it hid his insecurities and anxiety, starting a vicious cycle: an obsession with high grades, which led, inevitably, to more insecurity and anxiety, all in the name of approval. In 1988 or ‘89, he watched a talk show highlighting a biological mother's search for her daughter. Haunted by their story, Stephen declared to his mother, “I think I want to look for my biological parents.” Teary-eyed, she gladly offered her and his dad's help. Days afterward, she located his final decree of adoption and his birth name. Thus began his search. Plus, he witnessed, anew, his parents' undying devotion to him and eventually, his and their unknown, marvelous connection…Thank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly ADOPTEE CAFE community. The next meeting will be on Saturday, June 7th, @ 1 PM ET.RESOURCES for Adoptees:S12F Helping AdopteesGregory Luce and Adoptees Rights LawFireside Adoptees Facebook GroupDr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness MovementMoses Farrow - Trauma therapist and advocateNational Suicide Prevention Lifeline – 1-800-273-8255 OR Dial or Text 988.Unraveling Adoption with Beth SyversonAdoptees Connect with Pamela KaranovaBecause She Was Adopted by Kristal ParkeDear Amy, letters to Amy Coney Barrett. A project by Meika RoudaSupport the showTo support the show - Patreon.

Mary, a seventh-generation Tennessean born in Memphis in 1986, was adopted and raised in Jackson, Tennessee, by a supportive family who encouraged her search for her biological relatives. In 2007, she connected with her birth mother, who had mistakenly identified the wrong man as Mary's father.  Then, in 2019, a "search angel" and a DNA match through Ancestry.com unexpectedly revealed her actual biological father and a previously unknown family. She has since developed relationships with these newfound blood relatives, while maintaining a connection with the family of the man her birth mother initially believed to be her father.The Adoptee's Journey: From Loss and Trauma to Healing and Empowerment by Cameron Lee SmallMagic Mind - Use Code: MAKINGOFMEAPR  https://www.magicmind.com/MAKINGOFMEAPR Thank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly ADOPTEE CAFE community. The next meeting will be on Saturday, May 10th, @ 1 PM ET.RESOURCES for Adoptees:S12F Helping AdopteesGregory Luce and Adoptees Rights LawFireside Adoptees Facebook GroupDr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness MovementMoses Farrow - Trauma therapist and advocateNational Suicide Prevention Lifeline – 1-800-273-8255 OR Dial or Text 988.Unraveling Adoption with Beth SyversonAdoptees Connect with Pamela KaranovaBecause She Was Adopted by Kristal ParkeDear Amy, letters to Amy Coney Barrett. A project by Meika RoudaSupport the showTo support the show - Patreon.

Heather G. Marshall is an adoptee, author, speaker, and workshop facilitator. Her TED talk, “Letting Go of Expectations,” centers around her adoption and reunion. Her second novel, When the Ocean Flies, released in February 2024 (Vine Leaves Press). The novel is an adoptee-focused exploration of love and longing, of identity and belonging, and of healing from trauma. Heather was born in Leith, Scotland, in 1967, relinquished at birth, sent to foster care, and subsequently adopted in Scotland. She has been in reunion with her mother for twenty years, and was in reunion with her father for the last six years of his life. In her writing, Heather explores family, adoption, women (especially older ones), the natural environment, and how these intersect. When she isn't writing, she likes to hike, travel, practice yoga and meditation, do a wee bit of knitting, and, of course, read. Originally from Scotland, Heather now lives in the United States. You can find out more about her at heathergmarshall.com.The Adoptee's Journey: From Loss and Trauma to Healing and Empowerment by Cameron Lee SmallMagic Mind - Use Code: MAKINGOFMEAPR  https://www.magicmind.com/MAKINGOFMEAPR Thank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly ADOPTEE CAFE community. The next meeting will be on Saturday, May 10th, @ 1 PM ET.RESOURCES for Adoptees:S12F Helping AdopteesGregory Luce and Adoptees Rights LawFireside Adoptees Facebook GroupDr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness MovementMoses Farrow - Trauma therapist and advocateNational Suicide Prevention Lifeline – 1-800-273-8255 OR Dial or Text 988.Unraveling Adoption with Beth SyversonAdoptees Connect with Pamela KaranovaBecause She Was Adopted by Kristal ParkeDear Amy, letters to Amy Coney Barrett. A project by Meika RoudaSupport the showTo support the show - Patreon.

Kate was born at a Florence Crittenton home in Kansas City, MO, in 1970 and placed with her adoptive family at 9 days old. She always knew she was adopted and has always wanted to find her family of origin. This was finally made possible when Missouri changed its laws allowing adopted people access to their original birth certificates. She has been in reunion with her mother since 2018, meeting her in person and getting a life-changing hug in 2019. That hug was the first time she had a feeling of being home. Kate is also in reunion with her father's family, who have been welcoming.Reunion has been beautiful, messy, painful, liberating, and the most life-impacting thing Kate has ever experienced. Finding her story and learning about her people, though sometimes painful, has been incredibly grounding, and she now feels like a real person.While finding family has been an overall positive experience, some of the stories have been quite difficult. Her father went on a shooting spree, killing three people, including two police officers, and wounding several more before taking his own life in Harrisonville, MO, in 1972. As luck would have it, she had a chance encounter with an author while visiting his grave for the first time. The author was doing research for a book he was writing about her father. This encounter was instrumental in helping Kate find healing, as it led to factual information about what happened that day in 1972, as well as connections with some of her father's friends, giving her an understanding of the kind of person he was beyond the story he is most remembered for. Kate has been fortunate that her mother was willing to answer all of her questions, even though they were uncomfortable and seemed repetitive. This helped her to understand the decisions made by her grandparents. Had things turned out differently and Kate remained with her natural parents, her name would have been Lisa Simpson, which makes her giggle.The Adoptee's Journey: From Loss and Trauma to Healing and Empowerment by Cameron Lee SmallThank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly ADOPTEE CAFE community. The next meeting will be on Saturday, May 10th, @ 1 PM ET.RESOURCES for Adoptees:S12F Helping AdopteesGregory Luce and Adoptees Rights LawFireside Adoptees Facebook GroupDr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness MovementMoses Farrow - Trauma therapist and advocateNational Suicide Prevention Lifeline – 1-800-273-8255 OR Dial or Text 988.Unraveling Adoption with Beth SyversonAdoptees Connect with Pamela KaranovaBecause She Was Adopted by Kristal ParkeDear Amy, letters to Amy Coney Barrett. A project by Meika RoudaSupport the showTo support the show - Patreon.

Mike Brettmann was born in Des Moines, Iowa, in 1958 and adopted a few days later. He grew up on a small farm in Iowa with a brother who was adopted from another family. They were always told they were adopted, but it was never discussed. Mike joined the army after high school and served nearly 28 years on active duty. His uncle asked him to find the Brettmann family history while stationed in Germany. After tracing the Brettmann family in 1987, he wanted to find his roots. In 1999, he found his adoption papers and began a search for his birth parents, and in 2010, he connected with his birth mother. She gave him information about his birth father, who was not listed in the adoption papers, and they met in 2012. The reunion with his birth parents did not go well, but he was happy to learn his story and find some other relatives that he created a relationship with.The Adoptee's Journey: From Loss and Trauma to Healing and Empowerment by Cameron Lee SmallThank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly ADOPTEE CAFE community. The next meeting will be on Saturday, May 10th, @ 1 PM ET.RESOURCES for Adoptees:S12F Helping AdopteesGregory Luce and Adoptees Rights LawFireside Adoptees Facebook GroupDr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness MovementMoses Farrow - Trauma therapist and advocateNational Suicide Prevention Lifeline – 1-800-273-8255 OR Dial or Text 988.Unraveling Adoption with Beth SyversonAdoptees Connect with Pamela KaranovaBecause She Was Adopted by Kristal ParkeDear Amy, letters to Amy Coney Barrett. A project by Meika RoudaSupport the showTo support the show - Patreon.

Ellianna was born prematurely in a county hospital in Portland, OR, in 1968. She had been relinquished at birth, so she stayed in the hospital alone for several weeks. Foster care stepped in for a week, and then she went to her adopted family, where there was another adopted child that was 2 years older. Ellianna moved around a lot as a child, and as an adopted child, this added to the feeling of not belonging anywhere. Adoption was not something talked about much in the home, but both children knew they were adopted.At the age of 24, she met both of her birth parents and much extended family on both sides. This began the long, arduous journey of healing her wounds and finding where she belongs.Ellianna moved in with her birth mother and grandmother one month after reunion and proceeded to start trying to find a way to fit into her newly forming identity. It has been a roller coaster ride of forging new families and dealing with the issues from the one she grew up in. No one could have prepared her for the long, winding road she has taken, but with it all, she has found peace and the belonging she desired.The Adoptee's Journey: From Loss and Trauma to Healing and Empowerment by Cameron Lee SmallThank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly ADOPTEE CAFE community. The next meeting will be on Saturday, April 12th, @ 1 PM ET.RESOURCES for Adoptees:S12F Helping AdopteesGregory Luce and Adoptees Rights LawFireside Adoptees Facebook GroupDr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness MovementMoses Farrow - Trauma therapist and advocateNational Suicide Prevention Lifeline – 1-800-273-8255 OR Dial or Text 988.Unraveling Adoption with Beth SyversonAdoptees Connect with Pamela KaranovaBecause She Was Adopted by Kristal ParkeDear Amy, letters to Amy Coney Barrett. A project by Meika RoudaSupport the showTo support the show - Patreon.

Becky is a scientist, mother, wife, and baby scoop era adoptee who lives with her husband and biological daughter in Oregon. She was born in California, separated from her very young mother at birth, and adopted at 6 weeks by a married couple struggling to have their second biological child. Comfortably raised, she always knew she was adopted, special, and “chosen”. Her adoption was closed, and the birth certificate remains sealed.In 1993, with the help of her adopted sister and a document listing her birth name that her adopted father had been given by accident, Becky found and contacted her birth mother, who welcomed her warmly. They have been in reunion since that time. The person thought to be her biological father reportedly struggled after serving in Vietnam, was difficult to find, and passed away before any contact was made. At peace with the understanding that she would never meet him, Becky was astonished when, in late 2023, a DNA match emerged indicating that a different person was her biological father and that he was alive. Becky located and met her actual biological father in early 2024.Since the shocking revelation about her “new” father and the rewriting of the narrative around her birth, Becky has been exploring and questioning the dominant social paradigm around adoption. She now has a very different perspective about the nature of choice, reproductive equity, who is a worthy mother in our society, and basic rights around identity. Even though the fog had not yet lifted at the time of her daughter's birth, Becky never considered adopting. Having a baby at the ripe old age of 42 is not always successful, but she knew “choosing” someone else's child was not her solution.The Adoptee's Journey: From Loss and Trauma to Healing and Empowerment by Cameron Lee SmallThank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly ADOPTEE CAFE community. The next meeting will be on Saturday, April 12th, @ 1 PM ET.RESOURCES for Adoptees:S12F Helping AdopteesGregory Luce and Adoptees Rights LawFireside Adoptees Facebook GroupDr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness MovementMoses Farrow - Trauma therapist and advocateNational Suicide Prevention Lifeline – 1-800-273-8255 OR Dial or Text 988.Unraveling Adoption with Beth SyversonAdoptees Connect with Pamela KaranovaBecause She Was Adopted by Kristal ParkeDear Amy, letters to Amy Coney Barrett. A project by Meika RoudaSupport the showTo support the show - Patreon.

Chris Williams was born in Downtown Los Angeles at Queen of Angels Hospital and adopted when he was just a few months old. His journey has been anything but conventional, marked by resilience, reinvention, and a pursuit of purpose. In 2020, Chris moved to Santa Barbara to earn his bachelor's degree from the University of California, Santa Barbara, which he proudly achieved at age 35.While in Santa Barbara, Chris pursued a lifelong dream: stand-up comedy. What began as a passion project evolved into the start of a blossoming career, earning him recognition as an award-winning comic. Through his comedy, Chris masterfully blends humor and heart, often sharing personal stories, including his adoption experience, to connect with audiences on a deeper level. For Chris, comedy isn't just about laughs—it's about community, connection, and creating spaces where people can share their experiences and feel seen.Chris is excited to join the conversation about adoption, offering a unique perspective shaped by his life and his commitment to bringing people together. You can connect with him on Instagram at @crwspeaks.The Adoptee's Journey: From Loss and Trauma to Healing and Empowerment by Cameron Lee SmallThank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly ADOPTEE CAFE community. The next meeting will be Saturday, April 12th @ 1 PM ET.RESOURCES for AdopteesS12F Helping AdopteesGregory Luce and Adoptees Rights LawJoe Soll & other adoptee resourcesFireside Adoptees Facebook GroupDr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness MovementHiraeth Hope & HealingMoses Farrow - Trauma therapist and advocateNational Suicide Prevention Lifeline – 1-800-273-8255 OR Dial or Text 988.Unraveling Adoption with Beth SyversonAdoptees Connect with Pamela KaranovaSupport the showTo support the show - Patreon.

Christine is an adoptee born in January of 1972, at the tail end of the baby scoop era. She was adopted in March of that year through Catholic Family Charities. Her mother had bought a book that explained how a family adopts a child in a very simplistic way. In fact, until the age of seven, she thought that all children were adopted. It wasn't until a friend's mother got pregnant that she realized there was another way to have a baby. Her mother explained to her that she was special—that she was chosen.Growing up, the subject of her adoption was not spoken of in her household. She had been told at a young age that she was her parents' child and that they would not discuss the matter of her adoption. She rarely told anyone about it, not even her closest friends. Christine never searched for her birth family. She knew it would make her parents unhappy and was scared about what she might find out. As they got older, her children's curiosity about their actual ethnicity led her to Ancestry DNA. Two years later, after receiving the results, Christine received an email through Ancestry. It stated, “I believe that you are my niece. That would be so wonderful.”The next few months were a process of meeting her birth mother, Pat, two half-brothers, and her maternal birth family. She found out that Pat was 16 when she got pregnant. She had been sent to a home for unwed mothers and gave birth to Christine two weeks after her 17th birthday. Pat was supposed to relinquish her parental rights after Christine's birth but refused to do so. Christine was placed in foster care for two months until Pat realized it was a losing battle and signed the relinquishment papers. For years, Pat slept with Christine's picture under her pillow.Christine and Pat had the opportunity to meet and get to know one another. They were developing a relationship when Pat succumbed to cancer, only 18 months after their reunion. Christine remains in contact with her brothers, aunts, uncles, and cousins.Today, Christine lives in Connecticut with her partner, Rob. Between them, they are fortunate to share four boys and a girl. She holds a Doctorate of Nursing Practice and works as a full-time Professor of Nursing.The Adoptee's Journey: From Loss and Trauma to Healing and Empowerment by Cameron Lee SmallThank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly ADOPTEE CAFE community. The next meeting will be Saturday, April 12th @ 1 PM ET.RESOURCES for AdopteesS12F Helping AdopteesGregory Luce and Adoptees Rights LawJoe Soll & other adoptee resourcesFireside Adoptees Facebook GroupDr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness MovementHiraeth Hope & HealingMoses Farrow - Trauma therapist and advocateNational Suicide Prevention Lifeline – 1-800-273-8255 OR Dial or Text 988.Unraveling Adoption with Beth SyversonAdoptees Connect with Pamela KaranovaSupport the showTo support the show - Patreon.

Angela Tucker is a Black transracial adoptee and the author of "You Should Be Grateful:" Stories of Race, Identity, and Transracial Adoption, published in April 2023 by Beacon Press. Her search for her biological family was featured in the documentary CLOSURE, which premiered on Netflix in 2015. In 2022, Angela founded the non-profit Adoptee Mentoring Society, offering virtual mentorship for adoptees worldwide. With 15 years of experience in child welfare, she has appeared on CNN, Red Table Talk, The New Yorker, and more, advocating for adoptees.When she's not working to amplify adoptee voices, you can find her at the spa, on the basketball court, or hostessing at Jazz Alley. She drinks a London Fog nearly every single day, and is currently debating the importance of kicking this sugary (but, oh-so-delicious) habit. Angela lives in Seattle, Washington with her Emmy Award-winning spouse, Bryan Tucker.To find Angela: https://www.angelatucker.com/You Should Be Grateful: Stories of Race, Identity, and Transracial Adoption by Angela Tucker Closure - Angela Tucker DocumentaryOur Next Book: Season 10 : The Adoptee's Journey: From Loss and Trauma to Healing and Empowerment by Cameron Lee SmallThank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly ADOPTEE CAFE community. The next meeting will be Saturday, April 12th @ 1 PM ET.RESOURCES for AdopteesS12F Helping AdopteesGregory Luce and Adoptees Rights LawJoe Soll & other adoptee resourcesFireside Adoptees Facebook GroupReckoning with the Primal Wound DocumentaryDr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness MovementHiraeth Hope & HealingMoses Farrow - Trauma therapist and advocateNational Suicide Prevention Lifeline – 1-800-273-8255 OR Dial or Text 988.Unraveling Adoption with Beth SyversonAdoptees Connect with Pamela KaranovaSupport the showTo support the show - Patreon.

Dr. Santo D. Marabella, born in a Catholic orphanage in Aosta, Italy, and flown to the United States just one week shy of his first birthday, was one of over 3700 Italian-born children adopted by Italian American parents between 1951 and 1969. Known as the “Baby Scoop” era, tens of thousands of Italian unwed mothers were forced to give their children up for adoption, leaving behind generations of children devastated by their perceived abandonment.Though he was the treasured only child of his adoptive parents, Santo was bullied by his peers and struggled from an early age to fit in and connect with others. Growing up, the realization that he was gay further deepened this isolation, straining his relationship with the Church to which he was so dedicated and the parents he so loved (though his parents' acceptance came quickly). Despite self-doubt and fear, he refused to be stopped. He tried harder and achieved more, carving out a life as a caregiver, educator, writer, and artist. But he was still on the outside. In this episode, Santo talks about his “journey to belonging” that he recently embarked on and where it is taking him!Il Mio Posto A Tavola - (My Place at The Table) -Documentary by Santo D. MarabellaYou Should Be Grateful: Stories of Race, Identity, and Transracial Adoption by Angela Tucker Closure - Angela Tucker DocumentaryOur Next Book: The Adoptee's Journey: From Loss and Trauma to Healing and Empowerment by Cameron Lee SmallJOIN US on March 8th in Atascadero, California - Live Podcast, Un-M-Othered, Jeff Forney & The Innocent People Project + More!Leave your email for more info!Thank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly ADOPTEE CAFE community. The next meeting will be Saturday, April 12th @ 1 PM ET.RESOURCES for AdopteesS12F Helping AdopteesAdoptee Mentoring SocietyJeff Forney - Innocent People ProjectGregory Luce and Adoptees Rights LawFireside Adoptees Facebook GroupDr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness MovementMoses Farrow - Trauma therapist and advocateUnraveling Adoption with Beth SyversonAdoptees Connect with Pamela KaranovaSupport the showTo support the show - Patreon.

Placed for adoption through a West Texas county children's home, Sharla is a “Baby Scoop”-era adoptee. Sharla's biological mother moved across the state to live with her older sister and family until the time of Sharla's birth. On the day Sharla was born, a married couple who applied to adopt was contacted. Several days later, with their 9-year-old son in tow, they drove an hour to come for her at the children's home. She grew up in a fairly typical family and home. Always having known she was adopted, as is often the narrative, she has no memory of ever being told. The subject was never discussed, although she did know her parents had NonID information and an “adoption papers” folder. For the majority of her life, her adoption didn't seem important to her or anyone else. In 2019, the secrets and undisclosed information of the past 51 years suddenly began to come to light. Unbeknownst to Sharla, her 23andMe DNA kit would soon reveal a close relative via an email. Suddenly, she could decide if she wanted to know the truth about her biological heritage. She later expressed to her husband that in all the years she had said it didn't matter to her, that was true. However, she explained that when you spend decades believing there's no way to ever learn the truth, you may convince yourself that it's not important. With the encouragement of her husband and children, she is building new relationships. She has also enjoyed a long-overdue, warm, and loving reunion with her maternal aunt, who initially considered adopting her and was there to see her the day she was born. Despite some rejection along the way, loving and seeking out people and relationships hasn't become any less of a priority for Sharla. This 5-year journey has helped her recognize how being adopted didn't define her, but it has shaped and affected her. She is a recovering people-pleaser, has begun to realize that it is not her role to make everything and everyone okay, and is currently finding peace with the “what-ifs."You Should Be Grateful: Stories of Race, Identity, and Transracial Adoption by Angela Tucker JOIN US on March 8th in Atascadero, California - Live Podcast, Un-M-Othered, Jeff Forney & The Innocent People Project + More!Leave your email for more info!Thank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly ADOPTEE CAFE community. The next meeting is this Saturday, March 1st @ 1 PM ET.RESOURCES for AdopteesS12F Helping AdopteesAdoptee Mentoring SocietyJeff Forney - Innocent People ProjectDr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness MovementAdoptees Connect with Pamela KaranovaSupport the showTo support the show - Patreon.

Rebeccah Carlson is a transracial adoptee born in Georgia and raised in the Midwest. Growing up, she often felt a sense of disenfranchised grief and longed for information about her origins. In her late twenties, Rebeccah began a journey of self-discovery which led to reunion with her birth family. This experience helped start the process of mending her fractured identity and deepened her understanding of the broader realities of adoption.Since then, Rebeccah has found greater healing by publicly sharing her story with others. From podcasts to news articles, Rebeccah has openly explored her lived experience in effort to grow, recover, and transform. Her mission is to create space for authentic conversations related to adoption, identity, and belonging, ensuring other adoptees feel validated in their unique journeys. Rebeccah has also enjoyed volunteering for adoption-related causes, most recently ending her multi-year tenure as Board Chair of the Adoptee Mentoring Society. She lives in Phoenix, Arizona.You Should Be Grateful: Stories of Race, Identity, and Transracial Adoption by Angela Tucker Closure - Angela Tucker DocumentaryJOIN US on March 8th in Atascadero, California - Live Podcast, Un-M-Othered, Jeff Forney & The Innocent People Project + More!Leave your email for more info!Thank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly ADOPTEE CAFE community. The next meeting is this Saturday, March 1st @ 1 PM ET.RESOURCES for AdopteesS12F Helping AdopteesAdoptee Mentoring SocietyJeff Forney - Innocent People ProjectGregory Luce and Adoptees Rights LawFireside Adoptees Facebook GroupDr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness MovementMoses Farrow - Trauma therapist and advocateUnraveling Adoption with Beth SyversonAdoptees Connect with Pamela KaranovaSupport the showTo support the show - Patreon.

Jill was conceived in Washington and born in Texas, adopted at birth during the Baby Scoop era, in a closed-file adoption through Home of the Holy Infancy to a same-race couple who was infertile. They had adopted a baby boy but he wasn't as promised. Before they could return to the well to get the baby girl they always wanted, the nuns miraculously placed her with her new parents on Christmas Eve! The nuns who decided her fate believed in genetic mirroring matching her to people with similar demographics. They did that for all their babies, playing chess with their lives. When Jill was two, her adoptive father died. When she was four, her mother remarried the only daddy she ever knew, a widower with six kids. She lived in a big blended family, rich in love, heritage, and tradition. Jill always knew she was adopted but completely disassociated from it. Talk about FOG, she was in DEEP. Her mother tried to turn her story into a fairytale that her birth mother loved her very much but she still couldn't keep her. Jill knew nothing of her origin until she was 57 years old! Now, pushing 60, she has learned many things about her paternal and maternal sides. Her maternal grandpa even had a 2nd secret family. She figured this out all thanks to DNA, which provided her mother's name which was the key to everything. That was then used to obtain her original birth certificate, and court records, and get the adoption agency files unsealed for cause!In reunion since that fateful phone call in June of 2022, she has continued to forge a path forward with all who are interested. Jill isn't needy. That's the worst! She is grateful not because she should be but because she is. Never putting all kidding aside, she's constantly joking. She hopes you read between the lines above to see her beautiful pain. She isn't bitter! Not anymore. This is what is. Adoption, what a wild ride!You Should Be Grateful: Stories of Race, Identity, and Transracial Adoption by Angela Tucker JOIN US on March 8th in Atascadero, California - Live Podcast, Un-M-Othered, Jeff Forney & The Innocent People Project + More!Thank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly ADOPTEE CAFE community. The next meeting is this Saturday, March 1st @ 1 PM ET.RESOURCES for AdopteesS12F Helping AdopteesAdoptee Mentoring SocietyJeff Forney - Innocent People ProjectFireside Adoptees Facebook GroupDr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness MovementMoses Farrow - Trauma therapist Adoptees Connect with Pamela KaranovaSupport the showTo support the show - Patreon.

Born in 1970 in Iowa, Mike was adopted at just 10 days old. His adoptive father passed away in 1972, leaving Mike and his family to navigate life without him. From an early age, Mike felt a profound curiosity about his biological roots and has spent much of his life searching for answers.The journey to uncover his origins has been full of unexpected twists and turns, leading to the discovery of many biological family members—some of whom have been an incredible blessing and others a more complex addition to his story. Through it all, Mike has learned not only about his family but also about himself and the resilience required to embrace both the joy and challenges of reunion.Mike continues to explore and reflect on what family means while finding strength in the connections he's built. He lives in Iowa and remains passionate about sharing his journey with others navigating similar paths.You Should Be Grateful: Stories of Race, Identity, and Transracial Adoption by Angela Tucker Closure - Angela Tucker DocumentaryJOIN US on March 8th in Atascadero, California - Live Podcast, Un-M-Othered, Jeff Forney & The Innocent People Project + More!Leave your email for more info!Thank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly ADOPTEE CAFE community. The next meeting is this Saturday, March 1st @ 1 PM ET.RESOURCES for AdopteesS12F Helping AdopteesAdoptee Mentoring SocietyJeff Forney - Innocent People ProjectGregory Luce and Adoptees Rights LawFireside Adoptees Facebook GroupDr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness MovementMoses Farrow - Trauma therapist and advocateUnraveling Adoption with Beth SyversonAdoptees Connect with Pamela KaranovaSupport the showTo support the show - Patreon.

Ann is a Baby Scoop-era adoptee. Born to teenage parents in the early 1960s, she was adopted when she was not quite two weeks old. She's always known she was adopted. Her adoptive mother told her against the wishes of her adoptive father when she was very young. Knowing caused her a great deal of angst growing up because she felt her adoptive parents were withholding information from her and that coupled with feeling and looking different from her adoptive family was a constant source of cognitive dissonance that lasted into adulthood.As an adult, Ann searched for her birth mother over the years but with little information to go on, and the imperfect search options available to her, she found nothing. It wasn't until her daughter convinced her to take a DNA test in 2019 that solid leads led her first to a maternal cousin and then to her birth mother's family and set her on the journey to discover where she came from, and how it shaped who she's become.You Should Be Grateful: Stories of Race, Identity, and Transracial Adoption by Angela Tucker Closure - Angela Tucker DocumentaryGet 45% off the Magic Mind bundle with with my link:https://www.magicmind.com/ADOPTEEJANJOIN US on March 8th in Atascadero, California - Live Podcast, Un-M-Othered, Jeff Forney & The Innocent People Project + More!Leave your email for more info!Thank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly ADOPTEE CAFE community. The next meeting is this Saturday, February 1st @ 1 PM ET.RESOURCES for AdopteesS12F Helping AdopteesAdoptee Mentoring SocietyJeff Forney - Innocent People ProjectGregory Luce and Adoptees Rights LawFireside Adoptees Facebook GroupReckoning with the Primal Wound DocumentaryDr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness MovementMoses Farrow - Trauma therapist and advocateUnraveling Adoption with Beth SyversonAdoptees Connect with Pamela KaranovaSupport the showTo support the show - Patreon.

Melanie Green is an infant adoptee from a private domestic adoption in the 1980s. Her adoption was facilitated by a lawyer known for high-dollar adoptions of babies with blonde hair and blue eyes, and for putting financial pressures on birth parents so they wouldn't be able to change their minds. Estranged from much of her adoptive family, she was hesitant to find her birth family. After facing some scary medical news, she started her search for her personal medical history in 2021. She wanted her children to be able to get screened for preventable conditions that they were at risk for but would have no way of knowing due to her adoption. She took an Ancestry DNA test and found some cousins and a search angel at DNAngels who helped her find her living relatives and get as much medical history as possible. She learned her mother died in 2012 at age 50, well before she started her search. Because she doesn't have her real birth certificate, she is unable to request the records of what caused her mother's death.She found out she had a half-sister on her father's side that she continued searching for. All she knows is that she was adopted by an affluent family in Lake Forest, Illinois, and was born around 1985. She's joined Lake Forest area moms groups in hopes of finding her sister and letting her know about their shared medical history.Today, she's a professional writer and serial entrepreneur. She earned her Master of Fine Arts in Creative Writing from National University and her Bachelor of Arts in Writing from the University of Tampa. She loves camping, traveling, and going to history and science museums. You Should Be Grateful: Stories of Race, Identity, and Transracial Adoption by Angela Tucker Get 45% off the Magic Mind bundle with with my link:https://www.magicmind.com/ADOPTEEJANJOIN US on March 8th in Atascadero, California - Live Podcast, Un-M-Othered, Jeff Forney & The Innocent People Project + More!Thank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly ADOPTEE CAFE community. The next meeting is this Saturday, February 1st @ 1 PM ET.RESOURCES for AdopteesS12F Helping AdopteesFireside Adoptees Facebook GroupDr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness MovementMoses Farrow - Trauma therapist and advocateUnraveling Adoption with Beth SyversonAdoptees Connect with Pamela KaranovaSupport the showTo support the show - Patreon.

Born in 1976, Andrea is a same-race, domestic adoptee with international roots. Andrea's birth mother was from Greece and traveled to Sacramento, California, where she gave birth to and relinquished Andrea before promptly leaving the U.S. Raised as an only child in her adoptive family, Andrea spent most of her life understanding her adoption story as a single narrative about how a couple who couldn't have a child of their own "chose" her. It wasn't until the birth of her daughter in 2010 that Andrea started asking questions about her relinquishment and her birth mother's story. Andrea reunited with her birth mother Voula in Greece in 2019, three years before Voula died.Andrea has spent the better part of her forties uncovering the details of Voula's journey to the United States and back to Greece, in an effort to understand where Andrea can call home. Ultimately landing halfway between California and Greece, Andrea has made her home in Queens, New York, where she lives with her husband and daughter and teaches academic writing to college students. She has begun writing about her adoption journey for the Adoptee Voices E-Zine. She is grateful for adoptee communities, like the one created by Adoption the Making of Me, where adopted people can share their stories.You Should Be Grateful: Stories of Race, Identity, and Transracial Adoption by Angela Tucker Get 45% off the Magic Mind bundle with with my link:https://www.magicmind.com/ADOPTEEJANJOIN US on March 8th in Atascadero, California - Live Podcast, Un-M-Othered, Jeff Forney & The Innocent People Project + More!Leave your email for more info!Thank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly ADOPTEE CAFE community. The next meeting is this Saturday, February 1st @ 1 PM ET.RESOURCES for AdopteesS12F Helping AdopteesGregory Luce and Adoptees Rights LawFireside Adoptees Facebook GroupReckoning with the Primal Wound DocumentaryDr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness MovementMoses Farrow - Trauma therapist and advocateUnraveling Adoption with Beth SyversonAdoptees Connect with Pamela KaranovaSupport the showTo support the show - Patreon.

"Just a quick note - this episode contains language some listeners might find offensive -- regarding experiences involving racism."In 1963, Shawn was placed for adoption because his white mother's family didn't want a biracial grandson. As an infant, he passed for white, and he was adopted by a racist, rural Indiana family who didn't realize that he was black. Ashamed of his ethnicity, his mother concocted lies to hide his race from everyone, including Shawn.This lack of racial identity caused depressing confusion and conflict with his education, relationships, and career, but his mother insisted that he was not to search for his birth family until after she died.Around age 40, Shawn and his wife decided that he was well-suited to adopt other biracial babies. Through the adoption process, he discovered clues that helped him locate and reunite with his biological family.Born Without a Race: The Struggles and Confusion of a Racially Ambiguous Adoptee, and How He Discovered His True Identity.You Should Be Grateful: Stories of Race, Identity, and Transracial Adoption by Angela Tucker Magic Mind Adoptee 20 LinkUSE THE CODE AND LINK TO RECEIVE 20% OFF YOUR SUBSCRIPTIONmagicmind.com/adoptee20JOIN US on March 8th in Atascadero, California - Live Podcast, Un-M-Othered, Jeff Forney & The Innocent People Project + More!Leave your email for more info!Thank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly ADOPTEE CAFE community. The next meeting is this Saturday, February 1st @ 1 pm ET.RESOURCES for AdopteesS12F Helping AdopteesGregory Luce and Adoptees Rights LawFireside Adoptees Facebook GroupReckoning with the Primal Wound DocumentaryDr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness MovementMoses Farrow - Trauma therapist and advocateUnraveling Adoption with Beth SyversonAdoptees Connect with Pamela KaranovaSupport the showTo support the show - Patreon.

Lisa was born in 1958 and grew up in Franklin, Indiana. She was the youngest of two, both of whom were adopted.  As far back as she can remember, she always knew she was “chosen.”With no real information to go on, after submitting her DNA and no close family hits, her husband put together a family tree in which they were able to identify her biological father. They think they have her biological mother identified, but have yet to make contact.Lisa now lives in the St. Louis, Missouri area and has two fabulous children and a grandson. She also has 'bonus' children and grandchildren that she loves to see.  She currently works as a software consultant but is on the verge of retiring. She also has two Bernedoodles that keep her very active.Finding this podcast has helped her feel that, finally, she is not alone.You Should Be Grateful: Stories of Race, Identity, and Transracial Adoption by Angela Tucker Magic Mind Adoptee 20 LinkUSE THE CODE AND LINK TO RECEIVE 20% OFF YOUR SUBSCRIPTIONmagicmind.com/adoptee20JOIN US on March 8th in Atascadero, California - Live Podcast, Un-M-Othered, Jeff Forney & The Innocent People Project + More!Leave your email for more info!Thank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly ADOPTEE CAFE community. The next meeting is this Saturday, January 4th @ 1 pm ET.RESOURCES for AdopteesS12F Helping AdopteesGregory Luce and Adoptees Rights LawJoe Soll & other adoptee resourcesFireside Adoptees Facebook GroupReckoning with the Primal Wound DocumentaryDr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness MovementHiraeth Hope & HealingMoses Farrow - Trauma therapist and advocateNational Suicide Prevention Lifeline – 1-800-273-8255 OR Dial or Text 988.Unraveling Adoption with Beth SyversonAdoptees Connect with Pamela KaranovaSupport the showTo support the show - Patreon.

In 1983, Matt's mother delivered him in a metro Detroit hospital. Within a week hewas relinquished to Catholic Social Services, and moved into foster care to spendthe first three months of his life.A married couple, unable to have a natural child themselves, adopted and raisedhim lovingly as their first child. While growing up, Matt always knew he wasadopted, but besides this knowledge, his family rarely discussed the topic ofadoption.Matt has been in reunion since 2009 with members of his biological family on hismaternal and paternal side, including his first mother. Only since 2022, though,has ‘The Fog' over his eyes begun to lift - that of the dominant narrativesurrounding the American adoption system.Today, Matt lives in northwest lower Michigan with his girlfriend, their two cats,and his two biological sons. He is writing a memoir about his life as an adoptee.You Should Be Grateful: Stories of Race, Identity, and Transracial Adoption by Angela Tucker Here is a link to order her book: bookshop link.JOIN US on March 8th in California!- Live Podcast, Un-M-Othered with Liz DeBetta + Jeff Forney & More! Leave your email for more info!Magic Mind Adoptee 20 LinkUSE THE CODE AND LINK TO RECEIVE 20% OFF YOUR SUBSCRIPTIONmagicmind.com/adoptee20RESOURCES for AdopteesS12F Helping AdopteesGregory Luce and Adoptees Rights LawJoe Soll & other adoptee resourcesFireside Adoptees Facebook GroupReckoning with the Primal Wound DocumentaryDr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness MovementHiraeth Hope & HealingMoses Farrow - Trauma therapist and advocateNational Suicide Prevention Lifeline – 1-800-273-8255 OR Dial or Text 988.Unraveling Adoption with Beth SyversonAdoptees Connect with Pamela KaranovaThank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly Zoom with the ADOPTEE CAFE community. The next meeting is December January 4th Support the showTo support the show - Patreon.

Jennifer is an adoptee born in Orange County, California, in 1963. The first six weeks of her life remain a mystery. Although she was adopted by a loving family, her journey has not been easy. As part of the Baby Scoop Era, she was relinquished at birth and spent her early weeks in foster care.Her adoptive family, led by the daughter of a well-known artist and former model, provided a stable home, but Jennifer always felt like she wasn't enough. She grew up as the middle child with two brothers: her older brother, who was also adopted, and her younger brother, the biological son of her adoptive parents, who had been surprised by his arrival, as they had previously been told they couldn't have children.Jennifer always knew she was adopted, though she can't remember being explicitly told. As she grew older, she became curious about her origins and began wondering who she might resemble. This curiosity led her down a destructive path, turning to drugs and alcohol as a way to cope. Years of rebellion, running away, and conflicts with her parents culminated in her legal emancipation at age 15.Things continued to spiral out of control until she ended up in a treatment center in Portland, Oregon. Once she had regained clarity, Jennifer realized she needed to understand her medical history, and so began a search for her biological family. Remarkably, it only took three hours for a search specialist to find them.However, not all reunions are as heartwarming as one might hope. Jennifer's birth mother, sadly, had no interest in reconnecting and refused to meet her. Despite this, Jennifer did find a half-brother with whom she still maintains a relationship. Tragically, her birth mother passed away in 2023, never having met the daughter she had given life to in 1963. In Jennifer's words, “It's her loss.” Coincidentally, just weeks after her birth mother's death, Jennifer's adoptive mother passed away as well.Today, Jennifer has come to terms with the reality that she will never know the woman who gave birth to her. Meeting other biological family members has become a meaningful part of her journey. She is currently working on her memoir, Sometimes You Just Need a Lollipop: A Very Adult Story of My Spiritual Awakening, a candid exploration of her life's struggles, her search for self, and her spiritual growth.You Should Be Grateful: Stories of Race, Identity, and Transracial Adoption by Angela Tucker Magic Mind Adoptee 20 LinkUSE THE CODE AND LINK TO RECEIVE 20% OFF YOUR SUBSCRIPTIONmagicmind.com/adoptee20JOIN US in March 8th in Atascadero, California - Live Podcast, Un-M-Othered + More! Leave your email for more info!Thank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly ADOPTEE CAFE community. The next meeting is on January 4th @ 1 pm ET.Support the showTo support the show - Patreon.

Adam was adopted from Huentitán el Alto, in Jalisco, Mexico. Ron and Wendy had already adopted a son so they planned on adopting a girl as their second child to be named Amy but she suddenly passed away and out of distraught they told the lawyer to give them the next baby available, me. They changed names from Amy to Adam.Adam always felt different, like from another world. He exhibited signs of abandonment issues early on never allowing his mother to leave him without crying. In hindsight, he can say it was because he didn't think she would come back. Not in the sense that other kids cry for their mom to pick them up, he thought she might never come back. This fear of being left developed well into his teens and adulthood in the form of abusive relationships which he would never leave and manifested into several life-threatening situations. To couple this, Adam experienced an Identity crisis and at the age of 17, he felt as if his name no longer fit him. He wasn't Juan Carlos anymore (his birth name) but he no longer felt comfortable claiming the full name his adoptive parents gave him. He legally changed it to keep Adam and to have Esparza Plascencia as his surname, given to him at birth. Maybe he could feel as if he was a part of both. He knew his name because he kept his adoption certificate, more or less a one-page contract that his birth mother signed in pen, Maria De Jesus Esparza Plascencia. At times when he was left alone with his thoughts he would trace the engraved ink on the parchment to bring him closer to her. To try and feel her sentiment. Adam works as Director for a CBO (Community Based Organization) specializing in youth outreach in elementary schools through the Queens, NY borough and is licensed by the OCFS (The Office of Children and Family Services). As his journey to reunion continues he is also happy to announce a new position as one of several Ambassadors representing The Adoptee Mentoring Society, a community giving light to the adoptee narrative and providing support for adoptees, by adoptees. Through his catharsis and above all else he has come to the realization that the road back to oneself is not external after all but inside each and everyone of us just the same. For Adam, it was time to let go of “being let go of”. By sharing his own healing process he hopes to enable other adoptees along the winding road we all have in common. You Should Be Grateful: Stories of Race, Identity, and Transracial Adoption by Angela Tucker Here is a link to order her book: bookshop link.Magic Mind Adoptee 20 LinkUSE THE CODE AND LINK TO RECEIVE 20% OFF YOUR SUBSCRIPTIONmagicmind.com/adoptee20See us on March 8th in Atascadero, California Leave your email for more info!Thank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly ADOPTEE CAFE community. The next meeting is on January 4th @ 1 pm ET.Support the showTo support the show - Patreon.

Melissa was adopted at birth in 1965 in Little Rock, AR. Her adoptive parents were able to take her home at five days old straight from the hospital since it was a private adoption facilitated by the doctors and lawyer. Understanding the signs of the times as she grew, she never felt rejected by her birth mother. Her life has been full and blessed from the beginning. For most of her life, she declared there wasn't a desire to search when asked. However, searching for familiar faces in a crowd and then internet and social media searches crept throughout different periods of her lifetime. Holding her daughter and then her son two years later increased her desire to have biological connections that had been missing in her life. When her adoptive father began having health problems, she knew it was time to get serious about her search. Submitting DNA led to close matches on her paternal and maternal sides. Through these connections she was able to identify her living birth father and then 2 years later her living birth mother. When her search journey began, she had two conscious thoughts about how it would unfold:1. "Everyone who could be adversely affected are adults. My children, their children, etc. Adults can do hard things. This has to be God's timing for us to connect."2. All the adoption stories, movies, or books she had encountered up to that point had wonderful, happy endings where everyone reconnected and was grateful to do so.She quickly realized how wrong she was on both counts. This is why podcasts like this one and books like The Girls Who Went Away are so vital. She's met family members on both sides who have been welcoming but UNJUSTIFIED rejection has been the prevailing theme of her story. One sibling in particular has put up barriers trying to prevent her from connecting with her birth mother. The measures this sibling has taken are truly unbelievable especially since this sibling proclaims to be Christian and Pro-Life. Until she started researching beyond the idyllic stories, she wouldn't have found the peace needed to understand why her journey had been so difficult.You Should Be Grateful: Stories of Race, Identity, and Transracial Adoption by Angela Tucker  MAGIC MIND: Black Friday offer, it's currently 50% off until the 6th of December, only with our link: https://www.magicmind.com/adopteebf RESOURCES for AdopteesS12F Helping AdopteesFireside Adoptees Facebook GroupReckoning with the Primal Wound DocumentaryDr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness MovementMoses Farrow - Trauma therapist and advocateUnraveling Adoption with Beth SyversonAdoptees Connect with Pamela KaranovaThank you to our Patrons! The next ADOPTEE CAFE is December 7th @ 1 pm ETSupport the showTo support the show - Patreon.

Michelle Rice-Gauvreau is a native Mohawk woman born in 1969 in Canada and raised in Connecticut via an illegal adoption, which was commonplace for many Indian babies throughout many years across North America.  She is the author of Who Am I? Native American Child Taken From A Reservation And Raised In White America. Michelle is a compassionate advocate for all adoptees looking for their own truth, peace, and hope. She hopes to instill her strength to any adoptee struggling to find their way.​Michelle now works as a legal professional for a prestigious law firm. She resides in Connecticut with her husband of many years and her two senior cats.  She enjoys traveling and learning more about native cultures far and wide.To find Michelle: Powwows.comMedium.com / authority-magazineAwesomegang.com/michelle-gauvreauWomensjournal.comBooknerdection.comYou Should Be Grateful: Stories of Race, Identity, and Transracial Adoption by Angela Tucker Here is a link to order her book: bookshop link.Magic Mind Adoptee 20 LinkUSE THE CODE AND LINK TO RECEIVE 20% OFF YOUR SUBSCRIPTIONmagicmind.com/adoptee20RESOURCES for AdopteesS12F Helping AdopteesGregory Luce and Adoptees Rights LawJoe Soll & other adoptee resourcesFireside Adoptees Facebook GroupReckoning with the Primal Wound DocumentaryDr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness MovementHiraeth Hope & HealingMoses Farrow - Trauma therapist and advocateNational Suicide Prevention Lifeline – 1-800-273-8255 OR Dial or Text 988.Unraveling Adoption with Beth SyversonAdoptees Connect with Pamela KaranovaThank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly Zoom /ADOPTEE CAFE community. This is an adoptee-only space. We do appreciate all of our patrons. The next meeting is December 7th @ 1 pm ETSupport the showTo support the show - Patreon.

Rebecca is an adoptee, mother, teacher, historian, and award-winning author of the recently published ‘Who Is a Worthy Mother'? An Intimate History of Adoption.' Rebecca was driven to write a history of adoption in the United States from the perspective of an adoptee and to honor the memory of her older sister and the truth of brave women everywhere. Rebecca teaches in the School of Education at the University of Puget Sound and lives in Seattle with her husband and two daughters. To find Becca: https://www.rebeccawellington.com/You Should Be Grateful: Stories of Race, Identity, and Transracial Adoption by Angela Tucker Here is a link to order her book: bookshop link.Magic Mind Adoptee 20 LinkUSE THE CODE AND LINK TO RECEIVE 20% OFF YOUR SUBSCRIPTIONmagicmind.com/adoptee20RESOURCES for AdopteesS12F Helping AdopteesGregory Luce and Adoptees Rights LawJoe Soll & other adoptee resourcesFireside Adoptees Facebook GroupReckoning with the Primal Wound DocumentaryDr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness MovementHiraeth Hope & HealingMoses Farrow - Trauma therapist and advocateNational Suicide Prevention Lifeline – 1-800-273-8255 OR Dial or Text 988.Unraveling Adoption with Beth SyversonAdoptees Connect with Pamela KaranovaThank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly Zoom /ADOPTEE CAFE community. This is an adoptee-only space. We do appreciate all of our patrons. The next meeting is December 7th @ 1 pm ETSupport the showTo support the show - Patreon.

Ann Fessler is an author, filmmaker, and installation artist. Her work addresses the gap between the authoritative history one learns in history books, and that same history as understood by those who lived it. She has spent more than thirty years bringing stories of ordinary people, and the first-person narratives of adoption, into the public sphere through her visual works and Writing.Fessler traveled the country to interview more than 100 women who lost children to adoption during the 28 years that followed WWII when a perfect storm of circumstances led to an unprecedented 1.5 million non-family surrenders. With the support of a 2003-04 Radcliffe Fellowship at Harvard, Fessler researched the history of the era and later combined her research and interviews in a non-fiction book, The Girls Who Went Away: The Hidden History of Women Who Lost Children to Adoption in the Decades Before Roe v. Wade (The Penguin Press, 2006).The book, which places the women's stories within the social history of the time period and her own story as an adoptee was called “wrenching, riveting” by the Chicago Tribune; “a remarkably well-researched and accomplished book” by the New York Times; and “a blend of deeply moving personal tales, bolstered by solid sociological analysis—journalism of the first order” by the San Francisco Chronicle. The Girls Who Went Away was chosen as one of the top 5 non-fiction books of 2006 by the National Book Critics Circle and was awarded the Ballard Book Prize, given annually to a female author who advances the dialogue about women's rights. In 2011, The Girls Who Went Away was chosen by readers of Ms. magazine as one of the top 100 feminist books of all time.Website: annfessler.comInstagram: @annfessler_artistFilm by Ann Fessler: A Girl Like HerThe Girls Who Went Away by Ann FesslerExciting News! We will be reading and discussing: You Should Be Grateful: Stories of Race, Identify, and Transracial Adoption by Angela Tucker in Season 9.Here is a link to order her book: bookshop link.Magic Mind Adoptee 20 LinkUSE THE CODE AND LINK TO RECEIVE 20% OFF YOUR SUBSCRIPTIONmagicmind.com/adoptee20RESOURCES for AdopteesS12F Helping AdopteesFireside Adoptees Facebook GroupReckoning with the Primal Wound DocumentaryDr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness MovementHiraeth Hope & HealingMoses Farrow - Trauma therapist and advocateUnraveling Adoption with Beth SyversonAdoptees Connect with Pamela KaranovaThank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly Zoom /ADOPTEE CAFE community. This is an adoptee-only space. The next meeting is Support the showTo support the show - Patreon.

Julie Brumley is a trauma-informed adoptee coach who has been coaching men and women for more than 15 years to overcome addictive behaviors and heal the primal trauma of abandonment. She is also the CEO of Coming Home to Self, a company dedicated to helping adoptees heal. After her own birth mother tried to abort her twice, she found herself frozen in an unconscious trauma response for decades until she found the power of somatic trauma healing. Now, she uses somatics, nervous system regulation, personal experience, and her master's in counseling to help other adult adoptees find their way out of their own trauma and into a life of radical self-belonging.The Girls Who Went Away by Ann FesslerExciting News! We will be reading and discussing: You Should Be Grateful: Stories of Race, Identify, and Transracial Adoption by Angela Tucker in Season 9.Here is a link to order her book: bookshop link.Magic Mind Adoptee 20 LinkUSE THE CODE AND LINK TO RECEIVE 20% OFF YOUR SUBSCRIPTIONmagicmind.com/adoptee20RESOURCES for AdopteesS12F Helping AdopteesGregory Luce and Adoptees Rights LawJoe Soll & other adoptee resourcesFireside Adoptees Facebook GroupReckoning with the Primal Wound DocumentaryDr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness MovementHiraeth Hope & HealingMoses Farrow - Trauma therapist and advocateNational Suicide Prevention Lifeline – 1-800-273-8255 OR Dial or Text 988.Unraveling Adoption with Beth SyversonAdoptees Connect with Pamela KaranovaThank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly Zoom /ADOPTEE CAFE community. This is an adoptee-only space. We do appreciate all of our Patreons. The next meeting is November 9th @ 1pm ETSupport the showTo support the show - Patreon.

Ann Haralambie is an award-winning author and a trial and appellate attorney (a Certified Family Law Specialist and a Certified Child Welfare Law Specialist). She has a BA in Creative Writing, an MA in English Literature, and a JD in law. Her first book was a poetry chapbook published in 1976 by Desert First Works while she was in law school. Her three-volume Thomson Reuters legal treatise, "Handling Child Custody, Abuse and Adoption Cases 3d" is supplemented annually. Her three other major law books are written primarily for a legal and multi-disciplinary professional audience.Ann is an adoptee who searched for her birth family for 35 years. Her award-winning book, "Not Nicholson: The Story of a First Daughter," (2023) is an adoption search and reunion memoir. It has been called "a testament to the resilience of the human spirit and the enduring quest for self-understanding. . . a deeply moving read, one that resonates long after the final page is turned" (The Reading Bud), "universally inspiring, exemplifying an unwavering resolve that continues even in the face of numerous obstacles. . . an invaluable companion for those navigating the intricate paths of understanding and acceptance in the realms of adoption" (Literary Titan), and "a compelling read that balances personal narrative with broader social issues. . . . a book that will appeal to a wide range of readers, . . . a powerful reminder of the enduring human spirit and the profound impact of uncovering one's past." (Jeyran Main, Editor-in-chief, Review Tales Magazine).Spending her time equally between Arizona and New Hampshire, in her spare time Ann loves singing all kinds of music from classical choral music to traditional Irish/Scottish songs to worship music, playing various fretted string instruments and the Irish bodhrán (a framed goatskin drum), Irish and ballroom dancing, and serving as the Loon Preservation Committee field volunteer for Silver Lake, NH.The Girls Who Went Away by Ann FesslerExciting News! We will read and discuss: You Should Be Grateful: Stories of Race, Identify, and Transracial Adoption by Angela Tucker in Season 9.Magic Mind Adoptee 20 LinkUSE THE CODE AND LINK TO RECEIVE 20% OFF YOUR SUBSCRIPTIONmagicmind.com/adoptee20RESOURCES for AdopteesS12F Helping AdopteesGregory Luce and Adoptees Rights LawFireside Adoptees Facebook GroupReckoning with the Primal Wound DocumentaryDr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness MovementUnraveling Adoption with Beth SyversonAdoptees Connect with Pamela KaranovaJoin at the $10 level and be part of our monthly ADOPTEE CAFE community. This is an adoptee-only space. The next meeting is NSupport the showTo support the show - Patreon.

Lena Rosenbloom is a domestic, closed-adopted person from New Jersey. She was adopted in the 80s and raised as an only child in an adoptive family that could not have children. She entered reunion in 2002 with her paternal biological family. Lena discovered her biological family through the adoption.com website and message boards in 2002. She has three half-siblings on her paternal side. Lena has reached out to her biological mother two times in the past 20 years and has been rejected. Lena is a licensed clinical social worker in Florida working with grief and loss as well as terminally ill clients. She helped start a nonprofit organization for first responder spouses in 2018. She has been married to her wonderful husband for 15 years and has two children. She loves to journal, make crafts, and find healing through music and concerts. The Girls Who Went Away by Ann FesslerExciting News! We will be reading and discussing: You Should Be Grateful: Stories of Race, Identify, and Transracial Adoption by Angela Tucker in Season 9.Here is a link to order her book: bookshop link.Magic Mind Adoptee 20 Link USE THE CODE AND LINK TO RECEIVE 20% OFF YOUR SUBSCRIPTIONmagicmind.com/adoptee20RESOURCES for AdopteesS12F Helping AdopteesGregory Luce and Adoptees Rights LawJoe Soll & other adoptee resourcesFireside Adoptees Facebook GroupReckoning with the Primal Wound DocumentaryDr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness MovementHiraeth Hope & HealingMoses Farrow - Trauma therapist and advocateNational Suicide Prevention Lifeline – 1-800-273-8255 OR Dial or Text 988.Unraveling Adoption with Beth SyversonAdoptees Connect with Pamela KaranovaThank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly Zoom /ADOPTEE CAFE community. This is an adoptee-only space. We do appreciate all of our Patreons. The next meeting is November 9th @ 1pm ETSupport the showTo support the show - Patreon.

Stephen Grochol is a Financial Planner in San Mateo, CA. He and his wifejust celebrated their 20th wedding anniversary and they have two daughters.He is a post-Baby Scoop and post-Roe v. Wade adoptee. Born in Oakland,CA in 1974 he is the oldest of three. One brother was adopted and theyoungest was not.Stephen's adoptive parents went through a private doctor for this process.He was relinquished immediately after birth and whisked home to Pacificawhere he grew up. A stroke of luck occurred when his Aunt andGodmother procured the names of his birth parents during his delivery.As time went on things within his family unit started to unravel. His youngerbrother, also adopted, started suffering mental health issues and wasultimately diagnosed as schizophrenic and bipolar. The family washamstrung by the fact his medical records were sealed by the state ofCalifornia. This was the prompt that Stephen needed to start the reunionprocess, for real.His parents were amazingly supportive throughout the entire search forreunion. This just made things okay. On his 28th birthday, armed with “theadoption file” he was able to quickly track down his birth father. They havebeen in reunion since 2003.Tracking down his birth mother was a much more difficult task. Two weeksafter he was born the birth parents broke up and she joined a church thathad some “cult-like” qualities. In 2017, Stephen and his birth father usedAncestry DNA to narrow the search for her. It worked! It's here where hemet a half-sister on his mother's side. From there he was able to finallytrack down their birth mother on Halloween of all dates.The reunion with both parents and the siblings has been filled with joy andhappiness. There have been several family reunions where Stephen finallyfeels like he's “wearing the right uniform.” Of course, no reunion is perfectbut we are pretty close.It's after all this that Stephen has come out of the fog. Listening to Sarahand Louise, along with more specialized therapy are major factors for this.Stephen is quite familiar with fog as he grew up in Pacifica…. One of thefoggiest towns in California. Sunny days lie ahead….The Girls Who Went Away by Ann FesslerExciting News! We will be reading and discussing: You Should Be Grateful: Stories of Race, Identify, and Transracial Adoption by Angela Tucker in Season 9.Here is a link to order her book: bookshop link.Magic Mind/ADOPTIONTRIAL: USE CODE: ADOPTEETRIAL    USE THE CODE AND LINK TO: receive a 3-sample pack for free.RESOURCES for AdopteesS12F Helping AdopteesGregory Luce and Adoptees Rights LawJoe Soll & other adoptee resourcesFireside Adoptees Facebook GroupReckoning with the Primal Wound DocumentaryDr. LiSupport the showTo support the show - Patreon.

Jennifer Dyan Ghoston is a same-race domestic foster alum and adoptee in reunion with both sides of her biological family. After a 27-year career in law enforcement with the Chicago Police Department, she retired in 2014 as a police detective. In 2015, she self-published her memoir, "The Truth So Far...a detective's journey to reunite with her birth family". She credits her spiritual journey that started over forty years ago for allowing her path to unfold in unexpected and meaningful ways. In 2021, Jennifer's continued efforts to be open, honest, and public about her lived experience while holding space for other members of the constellation (primarily adoptees) has led to hosting the podcast, "Once Upon A Time...In Adopteeland". She currently co-facilitates the Adoptee Voices Writing Group created by Sara Easterly.Website to find Jennifer:  http://www.jenniferdyanghoston.com Website to Jennifer's Podcast: www.Onceuponatimeinadopteeland.comThe Girls Who Went Away by Ann FesslerExciting News! We will be reading and discussing:You Should Be Grateful: Stories of Race, Identify, and Transracial Adoption by Angela Tucker in Season 9. Here is a link to order her book: bookshop link.RESOURCES for AdopteesS12F Helping AdopteesGregory Luce and Adoptees Rights LawJoe Soll & other adoptee resourcesFireside Adoptees Facebook GroupReckoning with the Primal Wound DocumentaryDr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness MovementHiraeth Hope & HealingMoses Farrow - Trauma therapist and advocateNational Suicide Prevention Lifeline – 1-800-273-8255 OR Dial or Text 988.Unraveling Adoption with Beth SyversonAdoptees Connect with Pamela KaranovaThank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly Zoom /ADOPTEE CAFE community. This is an adoptee-only space. We do appreciate all of our Patreons. The next meeting is Oct. 19th @ 1pm ETSupport the showTo support the show - Patreon.

Kelly was born in 1970 and grew up in Wichita, Kansas. Her parents divorced before she could remember and she had no contact with her dad. Second oldest of five children, she blended in well enough but noticed some differences. She had reason to believe she was adopted and asked when she was a teenager. Her mother continually said she was not adopted. The physical differences were dismissed as traits that might have come from her absent dad.Kelly is happily married and has three sons. She is an engineer and a passionate quilter. Fast forward to 2022, her oldest son was curious about his genetic makeup and took a 23andMe. A niece had previously done 23andMe and shared her results. Kelly was surprised that her absent dad was in the database as well. When her son's results arrived, the niece was not there nor absent dad. Curiously, there were other relatives that she did not know. Her mother quickly confessed that Kelly was indeed adopted. The rest of the kids were all biological and her mom intended to take this secret to the grave. Her mom did not want her “to feel different.” Reaching out to a relative on 23andMe, as well as the adoption agency, it was only 10 days before Kelly was reunited by phone with her parents. Her parents are still together, married for 50 years, and she has two biological brothers. They had been looking for her for many years. She learned that her dad is an engineer, her mom is a quilter, and many other commonalities.Kelly describes her story as a fairytale reunion. She has been welcomed into her biological family and they have grown very close. She continues to work on her relationship with her adopted mom, trying to work through her anger and feelings of deception.The Girls Who Went Away by Ann FesslerRESOURCES for AdopteesS12F Helping AdopteesGregory Luce and Adoptees Rights LawJoe Soll & other adoptee resourcesFireside Adoptees Facebook GroupReckoning with the Primal Wound DocumentaryDr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness MovementHiraeth Hope & HealingMoses FarrowNational Suicide Prevention Lifeline – 1-800-273-8255 OR Dial or Text 988.Unraveling AdoptionAdoptees Connect with Pamela KaranovaThank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly Zoom /ADOPTEE CAFE community. This is an adoptee-only space. We do appreciate all of our Patreons. The next meeting is Oct. 19th @ 1pm ETSupport the showTo support the show - Patreon.

Dr. Liz DeBetta, creator of Migrating Toward Wholeness© is an adoptee and independent scholar-artist-activist committed to changing systems and helping people navigate trauma through creative processes. She believes that stories are powerful change agents and when we write them and share them we connect and heal. Liz is a proud member of Actor's Equity, SAG-AFTRA, Affiliate Faculty at the Institute for Research on Women and Gender, and part of the Diversity Scholars Network at the National Center for Institutional Diversity at the University of Michigan. She has published articles on autoethnography and adoptee narratives, has an award-winning one-woman show called Un-M-Othered, and facilitates trauma-informed healing through 1:1 coaching and workshops for adoptees and women. Her book Adult Adoptees and Writing to Heal: Migrating Toward Wholeness is available from Brill Publishers. To find Dr. Liz:InstagramWebsiteThe Girls Who Went Away by Ann FesslerRESOURCES for AdopteesS12F Helping AdopteesGregory Luce and Adoptees Rights LawJoe Soll & other adoptee resourcesFireside Adoptees Facebook GroupReckoning with the Primal Wound DocumentaryDr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness MovementHiraeth Hope & HealingMoses FarrowNational Suicide Prevention Lifeline – 1-800-273-8255 OR Dial or Text 988.Unraveling AdoptionAdoptees Connect with Pamela KaranovaThank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly Zoom /ADOPTEE CAFE community. This is an adoptee-only space. We do appreciate all of our Patreons. The next meeting is Oct. 19th @ 1pm ETSupport the showSupport the showTo support the show - Patreon.

Born at St. Vincent's Hospital in Greenwich Village on Nov. 11, 1954,  Michael was adopted five weeks later by John and Eleanor Coffey, a corrections officer and an RN,  respectively.  The adoption was handled by the New York Foundling Hospital. John and Eleanor had been unable to have children.He was raised as an only child in a small town in the Adirondacks. By the time his parents told him overtly that he was adopted, at age 8, he already knew. Following the Foundling's recommendation, they had told him from the beginning that they had “chosen” him in a nursery with many other babies.Although they were loving parents, it seems they were also a bit distant—“hands-off.” Sadly, one of the few things they knew about Michael's birth parents was that they were college-educated, and it seemed to make them feel that he was of different and maybe better stock. Michael feels they tried to stay out of his way. Although Michael had what he calls a perfectly happy childhood, there was something missing. After much soul-searching and research, he believes there might be an element of containment missing, a term used by Melanie Klein and, later, Wilfred Bion, two prominent psychotherapists--containment being the provision of a safe space at a critical part of childhood development. Michael went off to college at Notre Dame, and spent his junior year in Dublin. College took care of him to a degree (the Notre Dame motto is in loco parentis—in place of parents). Leaving college, though, was a terrifying prospect, and two months after graduating he married a woman he had known for only four months. Michael studied Anglo-Irish literature at the University of Leeds in England; his wife and he had a son, Joshua.  He earned his Master's degree.  In 1978, the little family moved to New York City. Michael got a job in publishing and, settled, he wrote to the New York Founding, which was just 15 blocks from their walk-up apartment. A Sister Phelps provided him with “background information but not identifying information.” His search for his parents began. He went down many dead-ends.At the age of 50, with the help of a private investigator, he discovered that both his birth parents were deceased; his father was a Gallagher, whose own father was from Donegal, Ireland; and his mother, indeed Virginia, was fourth-generation Irish-American from a Co. Mayo family. She was a one-time Broadway actress and cabaret singer in Manhattan when he was conceived. His father, Robert Michael Gallagher, was driving a cab in New York and writing poetry at the time. They both hailed originally from Philadelphia.Michael has written a memoir in which he traces these developments, emphasizing that, since he came of age, he has been looking and listening for traces, voices, and ghosts of lost birth parents, lost siblings, or half-siblings. He did find them, ghosts and real, but just as when John and Eleanor told him at age 8 that he was adopted when he already knew it, he says he also seemed to know who he was, and where he was from before the evidence was in. At this point in his life, he welcomes this as a measure of containment, a “safety in knowing.”Thank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly ADOPTEE CAFE community. Our next Zoom is on 10/19 at 1 PM ET. This is an adoptee-only community. We appreciate all of our Patreons! The Girls Who Went Away by Ann FesslerSupport the showTo support the show - Patreon.

Lea is an adoptee born at the end of the Baby Scoop era, 1970. She was born and raised in the city where she currently lives with her family.  She knew from a young age that she was an adopted, a "chosen baby".  She was always proud to say she was adopted and would challenge classmates when asked about her "real parents".  Lea believes that she was raised by her  "real" parents and does not refer to them as her adoptive parents.  Lea stood out from her family at an early age as she is very tall (5'10") and her mother is 4'8". She's always been the tallest out of the extended family until her two children came along and they are both over 6 feet!Lea reunited with her biological mother in 2007.  Her biological mother found her after a five-minute search online but it took some finessing to make the connection finally. They remained in reunion for about fifteen years during which time they visited, vacationed together and spent several holidays together.  At seventy-four, Lea's biological father had the surprise of his life when he discovered through a cousin that he had a fifty-year old daughter who lived twenty minutes away. This connection was through Ancestry.com and again, happened very quickly.  Lea recently enjoyed a two-week vacation with her biological father, his wife (who Lea refers to as Bonus Mom), and her aunt. Lea has struggled with the idea of connection her entire life. Even after the black holes of knowing who you are have been filled, Lea continues to search for her connection and sense of belonging. RESOURCES for AdopteesS12F Helping AdopteesGregory Luce and Adoptees Rights LawJoe Soll & other adoptee resourcesFireside Adoptees Facebook GroupReckoning with the Primal Wound DocumentaryDr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness MovementHiraeth Hope & HealingMoses FarrowNational Suicide Prevention Lifeline – 1-800-273-8255 OR Dial or Text 988.Unraveling AdoptionAdoptees Connect with Pamela KaranovaThank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly Zoom /ADOPTEE CAFE community. Our next Zoom is on 9/14 at 1 pm ET.Support the showTo support the show - Patreon.

Patti Eddington is a newspaper and magazine journalist whose favorite job ever was interviewing famous authors who came through town on book tours. She never dreamed of writing about her life because she was too busy helping build her husband's veterinary practice, caring for her animal-obsessed daughter—whose favorite childhood toy was an inflatable tick—and learning to tap dance. Then fate, and a DNA test, led her to a story she felt compelled to tell. Today, the mid-century modern design enthusiast and former dance teacher enjoys being dragged on walks by her ridiculous three-legged dog, David, and watching the egrets and bald eagles from her deck on a beautiful bayou in Spring Lake, Michigan.The Girl with Three Birthdays by Patti Eddington To skip ahead to the interview go to timestamp: 16:51The Girls Who Went Away by Ann FesslerSeptember 7th in Kansas City, MissouriEventbrite: LIVE RECORDED PODCAST  with Adoption: The Making of Me (ATMOM) & A PHOTO JOURNEY with Jeff Forney of The Innocent People ProjectRESOURCES for AdopteesS12F Helping AdopteesGregory Luce and Adoptees Rights LawJoe Soll & other adoptee resourcesFireside Adoptees Facebook GroupReckoning with the Primal Wound DocumentaryDr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness MovementHiraeth Hope & HealingMoses FarrowNational Suicide Prevention Lifeline – 1-800-273-8255 OR Dial or Text 988.Thank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly Zoom /ADOPTEE CAFE community. Our next Zoom is on 9/14 at 1 pm ET.Support the Show.To support the show - Patreon.

Kathleen was born in 1968 in Northern California. Her birth mother relinquished her for adoption immediately upon birth, and Kathleen was then adopted by a loving family who already had a 3-year-old adopted son. When Kathleen was 22 years old she found her birth mother. Thirty years later she learned that her birth father was an enforcer for the Hells Angels and was shot and killed when Kathleen was seven years old.She also learned that she has at least seven sisters and one brother on her father's side -- all from different mothers from the same birth father. Each of her siblings is about a year apart. Kathleen has met most of her siblings and remains in contact with each of them to this day.Kathleen is a sociology professor living with her spouse in Honolulu and continues to make sense of her adoption experience through a sociological lens.To hear the full call of Kathleen's Birth Mother: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yjt5_vLQYK4LINK to hear the full call to Kathleen's Birth Mother.To skip ahead to the interview go to timestamp: 14:55The Girls Who Went Away by Ann FesslerSeptember 7th in Kansas City, MissouriEventbrite: LIVE RECORDED PODCAST  with Adoption: The Making of Me (ATMOM) & A PHOTO JOURNEY with Jeff Forney of The Innocent People ProjectRESOURCES for AdopteesS12F Helping AdopteesGregory Luce and Adoptees Rights LawJoe Soll & other adoptee resourcesFireside Adoptees Facebook GroupReckoning with the Primal Wound DocumentaryDr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness MovementHiraeth Hope & HealingMoses FarrowNational Suicide Prevention Lifeline – 1-800-273-8255 OR Dial or Text 988.Thank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly Zoom /ADOPTEE CAFE community. Our next Zoom is on 9/14 at 1 pm ET.Support the Show.To support the show - Patreon.

Gaynor was born in a mother-and-baby home and spent the first six weeks of life there before being adopted in the same town of birth. Despite a challenging childhood with an adoptive mother who exhibited narcissistic tendencies, Gaynor persevered through an unhappy adoption experience. At the age of 31, after becoming a parent, Gaynor reconnected with their birth family. This reunion, spanning over 30 years, has been a remarkable success, with Gaynor finding a true sense of belonging and love.The journey of healing from past traumas has been long and profound. Writing a memoir, intended for her grandchildren, has been a significant part of her healing process. Now in a great place in life, Gaynor finds strength and peace in sharing her story, turning past challenges into a narrative of resilience and hope in the form of letters to all the people who have been important in her life.To skip ahead to the interview go to timestamp: 12:50The Girls Who Went Away by Ann FesslerSeptember 7th in Kansas City, MissouriEventbrite: LIVE RECORDED PODCAST  with Adoption: The Making of Me (ATMOM) & A PHOTO JOURNEY with Jeff Forney of The Innocent People ProjectYou have a limited offer you can use now, that gets you up to 48% offyour first subscription or 20% off one-time purchases with codeVIPMAKINGOFME20at checkout - You can claim it at: https://magicmind.com/vipmakingofmeRESOURCES for AdopteesS12F Helping AdopteesGregory Luce and Adoptees Rights LawJoe Soll & other adoptee resourcesFireside Adoptees Facebook GroupReckoning with the Primal Wound DocumentaryDr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness MovementHiraeth Hope & HealingMoses FarrowNational Suicide Prevention Lifeline – 1-800-273-8255 OR Dial or Text 988.Thank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly Zoom /ADOPTEE CAFE community. Our next Zoom is on 9/14 at 1 pm ET.Support the Show.To support the show - Patreon.

Adopted at birth, Ajé loved sharing her adoption story throughout her childhood. She always had a feeling that she had been wanted by her birth parents, and was a tad obsessed with discovering where, and who, she came from. Around age 9, good, old-fashioned snooping led her to a document with clues about her birth parents and the person she would have been if they had kept her. She had no way of knowing that document would later lead to an unexpected, serendipitous, [absolutely impossible] reunion, just in time for her 18th birthday.A survivor of abuse in childhood and adolescence, Ajé has always had a strong conviction that anguish is not meant to be carried alone, and the events that draw us into darkness and despair are the stories that need the most light. She loves conversations about uncomfortable truths and the power that comes from finding one's voice. Ajé is a lifelong craftaholic with a squirrel's attention span and spends a lot of her time making art fueled by sporadic bursts of dopamine, lots of hot glue, and just the right amount of glitter. Her long-term goal is to make her home a multi-media shadow box inspired by her favorite characters & quotes from books, music, and film, one random idea at a time.She lives in Portland, Oregon, with her husband, way too many craft supplies, and her tortoiseshell cat (who is the bestest cat ever).To skip ahead to the interview go to timestamp: 12:55The Girls Who Went Away by Ann FesslerSeptember 7th in Kansas City, MissouriEventbrite: LIVE RECORDED PODCAST  with Adoption: The Making of Me (ATMOM) & A PHOTO JOURNEY with Jeff Forney of The Innocent People ProjectYou have a limited offer you can use now, that gets you up to 48% offyour first subscription or 20% off one-time purchases with codeVIPMAKINGOFME20at checkout - You can claim it at: https://magicmind.com/vipmakingofmeRESOURCES for AdopteesS12F Helping AdopteesGregory Luce and Adoptees Rights LawJoe Soll & other adoptee resourcesFireside Adoptees Facebook GroupReckoning with the Primal Wound DocumentaryDr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness MovementHiraeth Hope & HealingMoses FarrowNational Suicide Prevention Lifeline – 1-800-273-8255 OR Dial or Text 988.Thank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly Zoom /ADOPTEE CAFE community. Our next Zoom is on 9/14 at 1 pm ET.Support the Show.To support the show - Patreon.

Angela was born in Nebraska in 1979 and adopted at 3 days old. She grew up in a family that came with many complexities and issues, and she struggled to feel content with not knowing and being with her first family. At 16, she was able to reunite with her birth mother and half-siblings in person and has been in reunion ever since. Throughout the years, she's met more of her first family and has gone through the many challenges of reunion and the search for her birth father. Angela now resides in Chicago, where her first family originated, and has two grown children. She hopes to help others understand that even in the best situations, adoption is difficult and we need to continue working towards adoptees having rights and access to their records and eliminate the secrecy.To skip ahead to the interview go to timestamp: 18:04 The Girls Who Went Away by Ann FesslerSeptember 7th in Kansas City, MissouriEventbrite: LIVE RECORDED PODCAST  with Adoption: The Making of Me (ATMOM) & A PHOTO JOURNEY with Jeff Forney of The Innocent People ProjectYou have a limited offer you can use now, that gets you up to 48% offyour first subscription or 20% off one-time purchases with codeVIPMAKINGOFME20at checkout - You can claim it at: https://magicmind.com/vipmakingofmeRESOURCES for AdopteesS12F Helping AdopteesGregory Luce and Adoptees Rights LawJoe Soll & other adoptee resourcesFireside Adoptees Facebook GroupReckoning with the Primal Wound DocumentaryDr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness MovementHiraeth Hope & HealingMoses FarrowNational Suicide Prevention Lifeline – 1-800-273-8255 OR Dial or Text 988.NAMI Hotline at 1-800-950-NAMI (6264) or email them at info@nami.orgAdoptee Therapist DirectoryThank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly Zoom /ADOPTEE CAFE community. Our next Zoom is on 9/14 at 1 pm ET.Support the Show.To support the show - Patreon.

Magali was born in Sri Lanka in 1992 and adopted by French parents when she was 2 months old. She grew up in a small town in France, a mostly white area, and struggled to identify with both the French and Sri Lankan cultures.  She found her birth family during her first visit to Sri Lanka when she was 16 years old. She has 4 older siblings that stay in the family. The language was a real barrier and she had to communicate with the help of a guide. Because learning Sinhalese at that time was too challenging, she decided to learn English to ensure she could communicate with most of the world. To do so she moved to London, England when she was 18 and then moved to Toronto, Canada for 6.5 years where she met her husband.Magali stayed in touch with her birth family for a few years but had to cut ties because they kept asking her for money. She dedicated her time to teaching French to English speakers because she wanted to help people struggling to learn a second language. Magali is using self-development tools to heal and is assisting other adoptees to find peace with their stories. She wants to bring awareness and make adoptees' lives easier and lighter.To skip ahead to the interview go to timestamp: 11:15 The Girls Who Went Away by Ann FesslerSeptember 7th in Kansas City, MissouriEventbrite: LIVE RECORDED PODCAST  with Adoption: The Making of Me (ATMOM) & A PHOTO JOURNEY with Jeff Forney of The Innocent People ProjectYou have a limited offer you can use now, that gets you up to 48% offyour first subscription or 20% off one-time purchases with codeVIPMAKINGOFME20at checkout - You can claim it at: https://magicmind.com/vipmakingofmeRESOURCES for AdopteesS12F Helping AdopteesGregory Luce and Adoptees Rights LawJoe Soll & other adoptee resourcesFireside Adoptees Facebook GroupReckoning with the Primal Wound DocumentaryDr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness MovementHiraeth Hope & HealingMoses FarrowNational Suicide Prevention Lifeline – 1-800-273-8255 OR Dial or Text 988.NAMI Hotline at 1-800-950-NAMI (6264) or email them at info@nami.orgAdoptee Therapist DirectoryThank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly Zoom adoptee community. Our next Zoom is on 8/3 at 1 pm ET.Support the Show.To support the show - Patreon.

Jeff is an adoptee born in 1964 in Salt Lake City Utah. He is the middle of 4 children (an older sister and younger twins, a boy and a girl) who were also adopted. He grew up in Los Alamos, New Mexico, and always knew that he was adopted. He has been able to experience living in the Middle East and working in a variety of cultures in countries throughout the Middle East as well as Mexico and the United States.Jeff is the founder of a non-profit organization that has helped homeless and underserved youth in San Diego and Tijuana to get off the streets and become positive contributors to changing their communities since 2005.Jeff currently lives in San Diego, CA, and has recently become aware of the primal wound and the life-long effects of being adopted. He is seeing the impact of adoption on various other life events while also striving to heal and help as many as possible to manage and overcome the challenges that life brings to so many who have suffered various types of trauma.To skip ahead to the interview go to timestamp: 16:54 The Girls Who Went Away by Ann FesslerSeptember 7th in Kansas City, MissouriEventbrite: LIVE RECORDED PODCAST  with Adoption: The Making of Me (ATMOM) & A PHOTO JOURNEY with Jeff Forney of The Innocent People ProjectYou have a limited offer you can use now, that gets you up to 48% offyour first subscription or 20% off one-time purchases with codeVIPMAKINGOFME20at checkout - You can claim it at: https://magicmind.com/vipmakingofmeRESOURCES for AdopteesS12F Helping AdopteesGregory Luce and Adoptees Rights LawJoe Soll & other adoptee resourcesFireside Adoptees Facebook GroupReckoning with the Primal Wound DocumentaryDr. Liz Debetta : Migrating Toward Wholeness MovementHiraeth Hope & HealingMoses FarrowNational Suicide Prevention Lifeline – 1-800-273-8255 OR Dial or Text 988.NAMI Hotline at 1-800-950-NAMI (6264) or email them at info@nami.orgAdoptee Therapist DirectoryThank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly Zoom adoptee community. Our next Zoom is on 8/3 at 1 pm ET.Support the Show.To support the show - Patreon.

Julie Ryan McGue is an American writer, a domestic adoptee, and an identical twin. In her books, essays, and blogs, she explores the topics of finding out who you are, and where you belong, and making sense of it. She is the author of two books: Twice a Daughter: A Search for Identity, Family, and Belonging, and Belonging Matters: Conversations on Adoption, Family, and Kinship. Her third book, Twice the Family: A Memoir of Love, Loss, and Sisterhood releases in February 2025.https://www.juliemcgueauthor.comAward-winning author of Twice a Daughter: A Search for Identity, Family, and BelongingNEW BOOK - Available Nov 1, 2023, Belonging Matters: Conversations on Adoption, Family, and KinshipFB @juliemcguewritesIG @julieryanmcgueTwitter @juliermcgueTo skip ahead to the interview go to timestamp: 16:07The Girls Who Went Away by Ann FesslerSeptember 7th in Kansas City, MissouriEventbrite: LIVE RECORDED PODCAST  with Adoption: The Making of Me (ATMOM) & A PHOTO JOURNEY with Jeff Forney of The Innocent People ProjectRESOURCES for AdopteesS12F Helping AdopteesGregory Luce and Adoptees Rights LawJoe Soll & other adoptee resourcesFireside Adoptees Facebook GroupReckoning with the Primal Wound DocumentaryHiraeth Hope & HealingMoses FarrowNational Suicide Prevention Lifeline – 1-800-273-8255 OR Dial or Text 988.NAMI Hotline at 1-800-950-NAMI (6264) or email them at info@nami.orgAdoptee Therapist DirectoryThank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly Zoom adoptee community. Our next Zoom is on 8/3 at 1 pm ET.Our Patrons:  Laura, Barbara, Ramona, Linda, Daphne, Denise, Michelle, Emily, Linda, John, Eric, Beth, Ron, Tony, Kristi,  Kristen, Jane, Kelley, Sandra, The Harpy, Kristan, Lisa,  Michelle, Jesper, Julie, Rivi, Robert,  Colleen, Janet, Robin, Lynn, Mikki, Sharon, Carol, Elizabeth, Diane, Ann, Darra, A.M., Kelly, Lyn, Lynn Wood, Jeff, Ellen, Gayle Whitlock,  Dave, Kim, Simone, Liesl, Kelly, Sherry, Barbara, Sandra, Darla, Lisa, Karen, Sally, Barbara, April, Jenny, Sally, Mindy and Michelle.Support the Show.To support the show - Patreon.

Stephen Rowley, Ph.D., is a psychotherapist practicing on Bainbridge Island,Washington. He is an adoptee and the father of an adopted son. Born in 1949 to anunwed mother, he was adopted at six months and enjoyed the benefits of growing up in a loving and affluent home. At age 13 he became deeply curious about his parentage. Not until college did he have the means to begin a lifelong quest to find his birth mother and his true identity. After years of investigation, he finally found his birth mother living in tragic circumstances. However, their poignant reunion vastly exceeded their expectations of finding each other when their souls finally reunited. As told through his memoir, Rowley traces the inner life of an adoptee, not simply the external narrative of his lifelong search.The Lost Coin: A Memoir of Adoption and Destiny (Chiron Publications, Sept. 2023). Learn more at stephenrowley108.com/memoir/To skip ahead to the interview go to timestamp: 15:34The Girls Who Went Away by Ann FesslerSeptember 7th in Kansas City, MissouriEventbrite: LIVE RECORDED PODCAST  with Adoption: The Making of Me (ATMOM) & A PHOTO JOURNEY with Jeff Forney of The Innocent People ProjectRESOURCES for AdopteesS12F Helping AdopteesGregory Luce and Adoptees Rights LawJoe Soll & other adoptee resourcesFireside Adoptees Facebook GroupReckoning with the Primal Wound DocumentaryHiraeth Hope & HealingMoses FarrowNational Suicide Prevention Lifeline – 1-800-273-8255 OR Dial or Text 988.NAMI Hotline at 1-800-950-NAMI (6264) or email them at info@nami.orgAdoptee Therapist DirectoryThank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly Zoom adoptee community. Our next Zoom is on 8/3 at 1 pm ET.Our Patrons:  Laura, Barbara, Ramona, Linda, Daphne, Denise, Michelle, Emily, Linda, John, Eric, Beth, Ron, Tony, Kristi,  Kristen, Jane, Kelley, Sandra, The Harpy, Kristan, Lisa,  Michelle, Jesper, Julie, Rivi, Robert,  Colleen, Janet, Robin, Lynn, Mikki, Sharon, Carol, Elizabeth, Diane, Ann, Darra, A.M., Kelly, Lyn, Lynn Wood, Jeff, Ellen, Gayle Whitlock,  Dave, Kim, Simone, Liesl, Kelly, Sherry, Barbara, Sandra, Darla, Lisa, Karen, Sally, Barbara, Jenny, Sally & Mindy.Support the Show.To support the show - Patreon.