Kasia May - less stress, more joy

All the description of the podcast and photos of a sand play session at:https://www.kasiamay.com/blog/sand-play-therapy-an-interview-with-jana-vysoudilova/Join free webinars about how to live easier and happier: https://www.kasiamay.com/blog/free-webinars-coffee-with-kasia/Do you remember the time when you were a child and played with the sand? I loved it… I think I can even say I still love it. Maybe that’s why I felt so excited when I found out that playing the sand is one of the therapeutic methods! And it is not only about having fun or becoming relaxed. Sand therapy is a very deep symbolic work based on Jungian psychology. Today I have the honor to introduce Jana Vysoudilová to you, a therapist with a broad experience who agreed to presents sand play therapy to us.WHAT IS SAND PLAY THERAPY? Sand play therapy is a Jungian therapeutic method working with symbols in a sand tray. The symbols represent the objects that we are surrounded by in our reality, for example, people, animals, trees. The number of symbols is not limited or prescribed, it depends on the process of a client, his deep impulses.A founder of sand play is Dora Kalff, a jungian therapist. She based this method on the Depth Psychology of C.G. Jung and the “World Technique” originated by Margaret Lowenfeld. Lowenfeld was an innovative pediatrician and a founder of one of the first psychological clinics for children in England. She created the tools that Sandplay Therapy adapted – the tray filled with sand and miniatures that represent inner psychological contents. Firstly it was used to work with children in her clinics, but later it was proved to be valuable also for the adult clients.HOW DOES A SAND PLAY THERAPY WORK?During sand play therapy a client creates an image in the sand that activates deep unconscious levels of the psyche. It can be used in a diagnostic or therapeutic way. The sand play result makes the client aware of their unconscious patterns, and the process of creation is a way to restore a new better state of being. The great advantage of this method is that there is no space for resistance in a client because the form of this therapy is just playing!All the description of the podcast and photos of a sand play session at:https://www.kasiamay.com/blog/sand-play-therapy-an-interview-with-jana-vysoudilova/Support the show (https://www.paypal.com/donate/?token=Vm6i9wbh7V9vawDhSAOtnc2T5Uj105Mpbj42skkem_uUGrVJxIDSyk4TRfTXRSSy9i8wmm&country.x=US&locale.x=EN_US )

All the transcription of the podcast is available at https://www.kasiamay.com/blog/free-webinars-coffee-with-kasia/Register for free webinars here: https://www.lessstressmorejoy.com/product/coffee-with-kasia/I would like to invite you for free webinars where I share my life experience and support you on your way to live easier and happier. The meetings are called ‘Coffee with Kasia’ and they are dedicated to women ❤️. We meet every week online. By we, I mean a group of amazing women who look for solutions to have less stress and more joy. You are very welcome to join, and when you do it, you get an every week video with my sharing, a word about psychology science connected to the topic, and coaching work I am inviting you to do. You can text me if you want to share your experience or you have questions. And you can also take part in a discussion in our group on Facebook. All you need to do to be a part of this is to register at https://www.lessstressmorejoy.com/product/coffee-with-kasia/‘Coffee with Kasia’ is like a free of charge coaching session in a webinar form. The idea of the meetings is to create a community of women who look for ways to live easier and happier, support each other on the journey there, and change their mindsets and lives

Free coaching sessions for women: https://www.lessstressmorejoy.com/product/coffee-with-kasia-free-coaching-for-women/You can find all the description and all the links at https://www.kasiamay.com/blog/havening-therapy/A database of therapeutic methods, coaching approaches, and personal development tools: https://www.lessstressmorejoy.com/sole-database/Do you know what ‘havening’ means? It is a new word in my dictionary, that’s why I am asking. Maybe it is also a new one for you. You know, for many of us, English is a second language, and we constantly learn… So ‘Havening’. Just hear it. And imagine a gentle touch on your skin. A touch that is full of love, trust, and compassion. A beautiful connection between two people. Havening. Heaven. Healing. A new therapy approach. And imagine an open-hearted and warm woman who shares with us her experience of working this way with her clients. Today I introduce to you: Sharna Hussain. A psychologist, a Core Energetics somatic psychotherapist, EMDR therapist, and a holotropic breathwork facilitator.WHAT IS HAVENING THERAPY?Havening Therapy is a new form of psychological therapy which is suitable for individuals suffering from stress, troubling memories, or problems with mood such as depression and anxiety. It was developed by Dr. Ronald Ruden, a dental surgeon from New York, with a background in hypnotherapy and coaching. He became interested in the work of Dr. Peter Levine a pioneer in body-centered trauma therapies, who developed the Somatic Experiencing (SE) technique. Dr. Ruben in recognising the effectiveness of SE set out to translate what the neuroscience could tell us about how such somatic techniques were able to produce such profoundly transformative changes for people, especially those with complex trauma. Then he created the Havening technique, a somewhat simpler version of SE.However, Havening (like Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing (EMDR), the Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) and Brainspotting) belongs to a new category of psychological therapies, known as ‘psycho-sensory therapy’, which all demonstrate how sensory input can change the brain, which is particularly helpful for those suffering from trauma-related conditions, as prior to their development, talk therapies had limited efficacy for such individuals. It should be noted that such somatic psychotherapy techniques have been around for over a century but have only entered the mainstream in this burgeoning age of neuroscience. You can find the rest of description and all the links at https://www.kasiamay.com/blog/havening-therapy/Support the show (https://www.paypal.com/donate/?token=Vm6i9wbh7V9vawDhSAOtnc2T5Uj105Mpbj42skkem_uUGrVJxIDSyk4TRfTXRSSy9i8wmm&country.x=US&locale.x=EN_US )

Free coaching sessions for women: https://www.lessstressmorejoy.com/product/coffee-with-kasia-free-coaching-for-women/The subtitles and links to the podcast: https://www.kasiamay.com/blog/my-mental-self-care-during-coronavirus-time/Now is the time when we should take special care in our mental self-care. When everything changes unexpectedly, the part of us that is called ‘a survival instinct’ goes crazy. It screams: ‘Danger! Danger! Run away!’. Not only because the virus made us scared of our lives. Also because our life routines fell apart and we lost the thing that is called ‘a comfort zone’. Without it, we lose the feeling of safety and it is challenging to find a place in the new reality. It is natural that we struggle with negative thoughts and heavy emotions. That’s why today I share with you my mental self-care tips for the moments of crisis. I hope you will find them helpful! INNER CHILD PRACTICE TO COMMUNICATE WITH EMOTIONS A natural reaction of the mind when we feel bad is to escape from our emotions. That’s the time when many of us instinctively look for something to do or think about. That’s the time when it is difficult to stop scrolling Facebook or watching a video after a video on Youtube. But the more we deny our emotions, the more intense they become. They demand our attention like a crying child who needs to be comforted. It can lead to depression that is like paralysis for the overwhelmed mind. And it can cause a breakdown, the state when you explode and you can’t control your reactions. As a person who lived in a violent family, I experienced both, depression and a breakdown. I was suppressing my emotions for years, lying to myself and others that everything was ok. Then a breakdown happened and I started learning how to communicate with my emotions to notice and honor them. And I discovered that it is worth to invite heavy emotions to my life. When I do it, they change and I can feel good again. When I escape from them, they have the power to destroy me. My tip to communicate with my emotions is to regularly imagine my inner child, a little girl who I was years ago. If I feel well, when I close my eyes I see little Kasia smiling and playing. When I escape from my emotions, she is far away from me, sad, and still. When I am scared, she is hiding somewhere.It is not easy to communicate with difficult emotions. The human mind has a lot of defense mechanisms to avoid difficult feelings. That’s why our imagination can be such a powerful tool to check how we are. That’s the symbolic language that is out of control of the rational mind. If you don’t believe me, believe Carl Jung, the father of psychotherapy! Anyway, I recommend to you the inner child practice in order to be in touch with emotions, especially when you struggle with difficulties. Awareness is the first step to a change!More at https://www.kasiamay.com/blog/my-mental-self-care-during-coronavirus-time/Support the show (https://www.paypal.com/donate/?token=Vm6i9wbh7V9vawDhSAOtnc2T5Uj105Mpbj42skkem_uUGrVJxIDSyk4TRfTXRSSy9i8wmm&country.x=US&locale.x=EN_US )

Free coaching sessions for women: https://www.lessstressmorejoy.com/product/coffee-with-kasia-free-coaching-for-women/You can find all the transcription of the podcast here: https://www.kasiamay.com/blog/i-sold-everything-and-moved-across-the-world/What a year 2019 was… A year of life changes! I got divorced. I cut ties with toxic people around me. I quit my job. I changed my name. I moved abroad from Poland to beautiful Budapest in Hungary. And after 6 months there I made a big life transformation again. I sold everything and moved across the world. New continent, a place I’ve never been before. No return ticket. But a vision of a dream life and a feeling that it was the time to take another step! And surprisingly, it was not only the right time… It was the last time to change the location before the corona crisis started! Today a life update, a word about following big dreams, and dealing with stress. And at the end… I finally reveal where I currently live! A SPONTANEOUS CRAZY DECISION OR AN AWAKENINGThe story about me suddenly deciding to move out of Budapest and start living on the other side of the world could be called crazy or magical. You pick! It’s a story about a woman who woke up one day, missed the sun, and decided to leave everything to follow the need of feeling sunbeams every day. Spontaneously. Thinking: ‘It’s insane’. But feeling ‘It is right!’. And it is also a story about a woman who was repeating for 30 years that she hates winter and one day she would live in a place that is warm and sunny throughout the year. After spending almost 30 years in Poland where she was born, she moved to Budapest in Hungary… What a choice! But there was a beautiful summer at that time so she didn’t realize that something was wrong. Until the weather changed. Then she realized her mistake. 3 days of cold weather and she woke up in a morning with a feeling that it was another winter coming and another time to complain about it! That day she bought a one-way ticket to the other side of the world.A RECIPE FOR MAKING BIG DREAMS COME TRUEI want to use my example to share with you how to make the biggest dreams come true. But be aware that it is also a recipe for waves of fears and mindfuck. I mean this feeling that your mind just blows and you don’t really get what is happening. It is a natural part of making life changes. So if you try to follow dreams that have the power to transform your life a lot, you order difficult emotions and the mindfuck as a bonus… That’s a part of human survival instinct that thinks that what you already have in your life lets you stay alive but a change could be dangerous! You can find all the transcription of the podcast here: https://www.kasiamay.com/blog/i-sold-everything-and-moved-across-the-world/Support the show (https://www.paypal.com/donate/?token=Vm6i9wbh7V9vawDhSAOtnc2T5Uj105Mpbj42skkem_uUGrVJxIDSyk4TRfTXRSSy9i8wmm&country.x=US&locale.x=EN_US )

Free coaching sessions for women: https://www.lessstressmorejoy.com/product/coffee-with-kasia-free-coaching-for-women/You can find all transcript here: https://www.kasiamay.com/blog/my-last-winter-and-the-first-time-homeless/ Yes, this is my last winter. And yes, I am homeless. But it is not a story about a terminal illness and ending up on the street. Actually, it is a story about living to the fullest and building a dream life. Having a feeling that it is time to change and just doing that. Following intuition and enjoying the freedom I missed all my life and I regained 6 months ago after cutting ties with toxic people, getting the divorce, quitting my job, changing my name and moving abroad alone. So basically, 5 months after starting my life over in Budapest I woke up on a rainy cold day feeling very bad. I went out to ride a bike. Doing sport outside always makes me feel better, but it didn’t work at that time! So I asked myself a question: ‘What do you need?’ and a very clear answer came to me in a short while. ‘I need to be somewhere else’. I came back home, thought for a while, I called some friends to verbalize my thoughts and check if I had been rational, and then I canceled my lease agreement and bought a one-way ticket to halfway across the world.I knew since I moved to Budapest that it was a temporary location. But I was thinking about at least a year in Hungary… I had a plan full of important things to do before the next big change in my life, as I did it previously in Poland. And I had some ideas of what I want to experience but not a very clear vision of what’s exactly the next. So I surprised myself. It was like an enlightenment. A moment when I felt the need to move, the right location, and I realized that all the todos I thought I have to do before transferring somewhere else were only in my head. It was even more than surprising – this enlightenment came when I appreciated a great stable life in Budapest. I felt ‘it is my home!’ with amazing friends who I met regularly and people I announced my family (not by blood, but by hearts), soulmates. I even had a boyfriend who I invited to spend Christmas together a day before I decided to move out. I was filled with gratitude and surprised how fast I settled in Budapest. The enlightenment happened on the last day of October. I had no doubts. I immediately started preparations. Closing my stuff in Budapest and Europe. Minimalising and selling things because I can take only one checked-in suitcase and the hand luggage. Visa. A lot of stuff. A lot of excitement. A lot of sadness while saying good buy. And here I am, 5 days before leaving, sleeping at my friend’s couch. I have the visa for 6 months, no place to go back, no friends on the new spot, just accommodation for the first week and a plan for what I want to do here, online. Happy, scared, excited, frightened. Happy. You can find all transcript here: https://www.kasiamay.com/blog/my-last-winter-and-the-first-time-homeless/ Support the show (https://www.paypal.com/donate/?token=Vm6i9wbh7V9vawDhSAOtnc2T5Uj105Mpbj42skkem_uUGrVJxIDSyk4TRfTXRSSy9i8wmm&country.x=US&locale.x=EN_US )

Free coaching sessions for women: https://www.lessstressmorejoy.com/product/coffee-with-kasia-free-coaching-for-women/Full transcript of the podcast: https://www.kasiamay.com/blog/how-to-deal-with-fear/A speech about making life changes easier: https://www.kasiamay.com/blog/how-to-make-life-changes-easier/A post about me starting my life over: https://www.kasiamay.com/blog/i-am-starting-my-life-over/Dealing with fear is a natural part of the process of making changes. That’s because our survival instinct automatically treats everything we experienced as something safe for us. Even a trauma, a life-threatening situation… It thinks: if we are alive now, everything that had happened before let us survive! Understanding of this mechanism and learning how to handle its reactions is a way to deal with stress, anxiety, and resistance to change! Today I am going to share with you 10 tips that I feel useful!1. UNDERSTAND HOW YOUR SURVIVAL INSTINCT WORKSYeah… It thinks that what you’ve experienced is safe for you, and everything new could be dangerous for your life. It was a good system for early people who made decisions like ‘ Get out of the cave when it is dark or not’. But now, let’s be honest… Would changing a job kill you? Would moving to another country put you in danger? Would starting a business put you in a life-threatening situation (unless you are a member of mafia)?When you try to do something new, your survival instinct triggers fear to stop you. The form of this fear could be also anxiety and resistance that makes you procrastinate. The instinct tries to save your life. The emotions you feel are the response to the subconscious judgment that something bad is happening. And thoughts appear in your head to convince you that rationally it is better to not make the change. You start creating negative scenarios about what can happen.This is a universal human mechanism. You can’t change it or turn it off. It is a part of our nature. But you can understand the waves of emotions and thoughts you have and don’t believe that they represent the objective truth you should follow. You can understand that the thing is there is no choice between something safe and dangerous. Every scenario you create can also happen if you don’t make the change you are considering. Life is unpredictable and (after Heraclitus) ‘The Only Thing That Is Constant Is Change’. So you choose between the illusion of safety and something unknown. And first of all – there is no real danger no matter which path you decide to pick.Full transcript of the podcast: https://www.kasiamay.com/blog/how-to-deal-with-fear/Support the show (https://www.paypal.com/donate/?token=Vm6i9wbh7V9vawDhSAOtnc2T5Uj105Mpbj42skkem_uUGrVJxIDSyk4TRfTXRSSy9i8wmm&country.x=US&locale.x=EN_US )

Free coaching sessions for women: https://www.lessstressmorejoy.com/product/coffee-with-kasia-free-coaching-for-women/Check all the transcription here: https://www.kasiamay.com/blog/3-months-after-dropping-everything-life-update Exactly three months ago I moved abroad to start my life over. Before that I quit my job, I got the divorce, I cut ties with my family and at the end… I also changed my name. Then I picked a place on the map. Budapest, the capital of Hungary, and I moved there alone. No friends, no job, nothing. It was scary, it was exciting, it was all blowing my mind, but I did it, and I must admit, it was the best decision in my life. You can read about the changes in my life here: https://www.kasiamay.com/blog/i-am-starting-my-life-over/ I feel It is high time for a life update. I am thinking that when there is a change needed, and you find the courage to make the decision and take action, all the Universe is supporting you in that… Listen to the story of my first three months of creating my new life. Creating something out of nothing. Or maybe creating something out of what I always had inside? UPS, I FORGOT ABOUT THE PLANFirst of all, time flies so fast… I can’t believe it’s been three months since I moved to Budapest. Time flies and when you decide to experience life to the fullest so much is happening… I remember that scared woman who unpacked her stuff and didn't know what to do with her life. The plan was very detailed to the moment of moving to Budapest. That was the final step. I had a vision of how I want to live in the future, this blog, but no details about what’s next, how to organize my life, what to do to reach my dream life.This is something I always repeat when I organize meetups and workshops about making changes. We have survival mechanisms that make us frightened of everything new and unknown. That’s why visualization of the goal and the plan full of baby steps to reach it are so important. That’s the way to take over our instincts. Lol, I was so focused on finishing my previous plan that I forgot about creating the new one

Free coaching sessions for women: https://www.lessstressmorejoy.com/product/coffee-with-kasia-free-coaching-for-women/All the transcript and the links mentioned in the podcast here: https://www.kasiamay.com/blog/therapeutic-relationship/A therapeutic relationship is something very unique. There are a lot of closeness and trust which many of us don’t experience in relations with people. But at the same time, a therapist is never a friend of ours, there are strong boundaries between a therapist and a client. It is possible to feel lost in this building expectations and having doubts if we work with the right person. I asked Craig Smith, a therapist and a clinician about sharing his view on this topic with us.THERAPEUTIC RELATION IS A PARTNERSHIPRelationship between a therapist and a client is one of the biggest predictors for success in treatment. By gaining a partnership with you, we can work together to identify and break through the barriers you have been facing and help you live the life you were meant to have. In order to effectively support our clients it is important to set clear boundaries with them from the first session. It can be exciting to have someone that listens and validates you, but it is key to remember that a client/therapist relationship can’t and won’t ever be more than that. We are not friends and will not be hanging out on the weekends between sessions. There are certain boundaries that have to be set and maintained to foster the therapeutic alliance, which as stated below, is crucial to helping create outcomes for clients. This can be difficult for some clients to accept and it is the therapist’s duty to make sure boundaries are clear. There are ethical considerations for the various licensing boards and depending on the licensure, the boundaries can be stricter for some, but the safety of the therapeutic relationship is always the focus. If the relationship of therapist and client is blurred, the therapeutic alliance can be jeopardized.WHAT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT IN THERAPEUTIC RELATIONSHIPThis will vary from clinician to clinician but for me, it is all about the trust, connection, and alliance I can build with the client. My ultimate goal is to help the person coming into my office, leave with a greater sense of belief in themselves and their ability to solve the problems they are facing.WHAT IS A RELATION WITH THERAPIST IS NOT ENOUGH A relation with a therapist is important but the biggest predictor for change in the therapeutic process is the client themselves; what they bring in regarding motivation, spirituality, support systems, desire to change, employment, etc. According to research, this accounts for 40% of the change in the process. The therapeutic relationship accounts for 30% of change. How the client perceives the clinician to have empathy, genuine care and concerns, trust, warmth, and a shared interest in the client’s goals, matters. In fact, it matters more than the specific modality the clinician utilizes (15%), and expectancy for change (15%). (Miller, S. D., Duncan, B. L., & Hubble, M. A. (1997). Escape from Babel: Toward a unifying language for psychotherapy practice. New York: Norton.)All the transcript and the links mentioned in the podcast here: https://www.kasiamay.com/blog/thSupport the show (https://www.paypal.com/donate/?token=Vm6i9wbh7V9vawDhSAOtnc2T5Uj105Mpbj42skkem_uUGrVJxIDSyk4TRfTXRSSy9i8wmm&country.x=US&locale.x=EN_US )

Free coaching sessions for women: https://www.lessstressmorejoy.com/product/coffee-with-kasia-free-coaching-for-women/The full transcription of the podcast: https://www.kasiamay.com/blog/5rhythms-movement-practice-according-to-peters-fejer/A database of therapeutic methods, coaching approaches, and personal development tools: https://www.lessstressmorejoy.com/sole-database/5Rhythms© is a practice of spontaneous dancing that for many people in or after therapy is a great way to release tensions, ground in their bodies and feel connected to others. It could be useful as a part of your therapeutic schedule or just as a way to enjoy your free time or have more sport activity in your life. There are a lot of benefits and for sure this practice is worth trying. That’s why I am introducing you to Peter Fejer, a 5Rhythms© teacher. Leave a comment or send me a message if there is something else you would like to ask Peter about. If you live in Hungary or Austria, you can attend Peter’s classes! What’s 5Rhythms Dance?5Rhythms dance is a practice of continuously welcoming. Welcoming situations, people, whatever surrounds us. It's also a continuous process of welcoming myself as I am at any given moment: my emotions, thoughts, physical state. In this practice welcoming is not a theory, we don't concentrate on how to welcome with our thoughts or with our hearts. Here we put the focus on physical movement. We always ask the same question from us: what movements do this or that inspire? What movement would like to happen in my body? And we continuously welcome those movements.What welcoming movements mean? Welcoming for me means that I give space to it. Like a good host asking: what can I do for you, what would help you feel more relaxed, more comfortable, what do you need to become more free?As we give more space to movements, we always discover something new. As we welcome more and more of what happens in or outside of us, the whole dance becomes more and more interesting. It's a practice of discovery. Discovery of the present moment through our body movements.Is 5Rhythms Dance structured in any way? 5Rhythms has a map, which gives us a framework on how to dance together in a group. First, we dance with the energy or rhythm of flowing. In that, we put our focus on welcoming body sensations. We connect to our physical senses. Then in the rhythm of staccato we connect to others, we start welcoming the presence and movements of other people. In the chaos rhythm, we are welcoming the whole space, all the people, all the movements, and all the empty space in between people. In the lyrical rhythm we just let all these experiences, all these things we welcomed to play in us, to find their spontaneous expressions.The full transcription of the podcast: https://www.kasiamay.com/blog/5rhythms-movement-practice-according-to-peters-fejer/Support the show (https://www.paypal.com/donate/?token=Vm6i9wbh7V9vawDhSAOtnc2T5Uj105Mpbj42skkem_uUGrVJxIDSyk4TRfTXRSSy9i8wmm&country.x=US&locale.x=EN_US )

Free coaching sessions for women: https://www.lessstressmorejoy.com/product/coffee-with-kasia-free-coaching-for-women/You can find a full transcription of the podcast plus all the links here: https://www.kasiamay.com/blog/acceptance-and-commitment-therapy-act-and-narrative-approach/‎A database of therapeutic methods, coaching approaches, and personal development tools: https://www.lessstressmorejoy.com/sole-database/I would like to share with you my last discovery - Acceptance and Commitment Therapy which is a form of Cognitive Behavioral Approach, the one we were talking about recently with Dr. Hayden Finch - you can find her explanation of the method here: www.kasiamay.com/blog/https-www-kasiamay-com-blog-cognitive-behavioral-therapy/. I asked Craig Smith, a therapist and a clinician whose work with people is based on ACT and Narrative Therapy for explaining to us what those approaches are about and who can find them helpful. Look at his responses below and let me know in comments or by sending an email if you have any questions to Craig!WHAT IS ACCEPTANCE AND COMMITMENT THERAPY ACT, or Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, is actually a form of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and I would best describe it as a process in which people challenge and change the perception of the stories of their past. Meaning, most people are told that a traumatic event could impact them for the rest of their lives, relationships will be impacted from it, pursuing a career might be a challenge due to it, etc. ACT attempts to increase the “psychological flexibility” and help to begin to attach a new meaning to the event of your past. This process allows you to take more action in your life, own that you (perception) are in fact the problem in your reality but even greater, YOU are the solution. FOR WHO ACT COULD BE BENEFICIALWe will all have painful moments, go through tragedies, hurt, and loss. ACT helps you give the meaning you want to the experiences and to allow your pain to be a source of fuel for a greater cause, not shove you into the corner to suffer the rest of your life. This type of therapy would benefit those wanting to create more ACTion in their life. A person may have some things (events) from their past and they don’t necessarily want to dive 10 layers deep into it, but they do want to begin looking at it in a different way and move forward from it. HOW AN ACCEPTANCE AND COMMITMENT THERAPY SESSION LOOKS LIKESessions will look different from clinician to clinician but for me, I allow a safe place for the individual to tell their story and begin finding meaning in it. This typically involves me asking open-ended questions that invite the client to share details about themselves, their stories, and perceptions of the stories as they see them in their current reality. It really takes shape of a nice conversation where we both begin to find what themes are most present and relevant to that person.You can find a full transcription of the podcast plus all the links here: https://www.kasiamay.com/blog/acceptance-and-commitment-therapy-act-and-narrative-approach/‎Support the show (https://www.paypal.com/donate/?token=Vm6i9wbh7V9vawDhSAOtnc2T5Uj105Mpbj42skkem_uUGrVJxIDSyk4TRfTXRSSy9i8wmm&country.x=US&locale.x=EN_US )

Free coaching sessions for women: https://www.lessstressmorejoy.com/product/coffee-with-kasia-free-coaching-for-women/The full transcript of the podcast is available here: https://www.kasiamay.com/blog/craniosacral-therapy-an-insight-into-the-method/A database of therapeutic methods, coaching approaches, and personal development tools: https://www.lessstressmorejoy.com/sole-database/Craniosacral therapy (CST) is one of the therapeutic approaches I found very helpful on my inner journey. I was honored to work with Marcin Pochojka, a certified therapist of the International Upledger Institute and one of the most qualified craniosacral therapists in Poland. Today I am very happy to present you his insight into what craniosacral therapy is and for who it could be helpful. You can also find here an answer to a question of how CST session looks like. Leave a comment or send me an email if you have any questions to Marcin!Craniosacral therapy is a body therapy technique originates from osteopathy. The main point is a body as an integrated whole where everything has an influence on everything so every single element is as much important as others. CST defines health as the balance of liquids which manifests itself through movements inside and outside of the body. It means the circulation of the liquids and physical ability of a client to move. The most important liquid in craniosacral therapy is cerebrospinal fluid. Therapists work with it to have an impact on the human nervous system and that’s the way to improve the physical and emotional condition.How does a therapy session look like?During a therapeutic session, a client lies on a mattress being gently touched to manipulate the cerebrospinal fluid. The rule is the softer touch, the more sense of safety and better access to tensions and traumas coded on deeper levels of the body. Some therapists additionally talk with their clients during sessions to empower the effects through sharing the emotions. The dialog between a therapist and a client is based on three rules: patience, respect to different perspectives on life and no judgment. More advanced therapists use also a silence point in their work - it’s about a state when the cerebrospinal fluid slows down during talking about something important for the process of healing. This work lets release blockers on the conscious and subconscious level and gets rid of them from the body memory. Craniosacral therapists Craniosacral therapy could be provided by osteopaths, therapists like psychotherapists, physiotherapists, psychologists, but also doctors and midwives after qualification. If you want to start craniosacral therapy in the most effective way (with talking and using the moment of silence), pay attention to professional experience of a craniosacral therapist before you pick one. The full transcript of the podcast is available here: https://www.kasiamay.com/blog/craniosacral-therapy-an-insight-into-the-method/Support the show (https://www.paypal.com/donate/?token=Vm6i9wbh7V9vawDhSAOtnc2T5Uj105Mpbj42skkem_uUGrVJxIDSyk4TRfTXRSSy9i8wmm&country.x=US&locale.x=EN_US )

You can find all transcription of the podcast and links here: https://www.kasiamay.com/blog/cognitive-behavior-therapeutic-approach-cbt/ A database of therapeutic methods, coaching approaches, and personal development tools: https://www.lessstressmorejoy.com/sole-database/According to Dr. Hayden Finch cognitive-behavioral therapy is an evidence-based treatment approach that has been proven to treat a variety of mental health conditions ranging from depression to anxiety to bipolar disorder and even psychotic disorders. It's based on the idea that the way we think and the way we act affects the way we feel. Here's an example: You see someone you know at the grocery store and wave but they don't respond. If you think, "Oh no, she totally ignored me. I must have done something to make her mad," then you'll feel worried, cautious, and maybe insecure. As a result, you might avoid her in the future and the problem will never get resolved. And now take the same example but a different thought process. If she doesn't respond to your greeting, you think "Oh, she must have been distracted by the produce and just didn't see me," then you'll feel unconcerned and you might choose to just continue with your shopping or even go up to her and get her attention. In any isolated situation, it might not make much of a difference, but if these patterns continue over months and years, the assumptions our brains make can really have a negative impact on the emotions we're feeling all the time and how we respond to those emotions. If my brain is consistently assuming people are mad at me, that I'm making mistakes, or that things are going to turn out badly, I'm going to consistently feel depressed, anxious, and inadequate and get discouraged and stuck. But if my brain can accurately examine evidence in my life and let me know what's not going so well and what is going well, then I will have a variety of feelings that will help me make productive changes in my life. CBT is all about helping your brain interpret information in the most accurate way and correct for inaccurate information processing that occurs when mental health conditions develop. It's been proven to be effective for children, adolescents, and adults dealing with just about every mental health condition (for real, it's that good). CBT tends to be much more structured than other types of therapy. Often, you'll have practice assignments between sessions, such as worksheets to practice examining your thinking or activities to practice changing your behavior. You can find all transcription of the podcast and links here: https://www.kasiamay.com/blog/cognitive-behavior-therapeutic-approach-cbt/ Support the show (https://www.paypal.com/donate/?token=Vm6i9wbh7V9vawDhSAOtnc2T5Uj105Mpbj42skkem_uUGrVJxIDSyk4TRfTXRSSy9i8wmm&country.x=US&locale.x=EN_US )

Free coaching sessions for women: https://www.lessstressmorejoy.com/product/coffee-with-kasia-free-coaching-for-women/The full transcript plus photos and videos is available here: https://www.kasiamay.com/blog/leaving-everything-behind-and-moving-abroad-where-i-know-no-one/ If you know me, you are aware I changed my name, got divorced, cut contact with my family, quit my job, and moved abroad, where I know no one. About two years ago I looked at myslef and my life realizing I wasn’t happy at all. I created a plan for changing everything. It took me a lot of time - but that was the time I needed to clarify my needs and details. It took a lot of effort - but I learnt so much. And here I am - finally after cleaning everything! Me living abroad in beautiful Budapest where everything is new for me. No Hungarian language, no friends, no tips on how to settle, nothing. I am on my path to create my dream life from the beginning, being grateful every single day for each of my difficult sessions in therapy, and blessing every tough decision I made! I am going to share with you how it is to start over. I am going to confess in front of you my fears and how life verified the projections of my mind. For me - it’s funny to look at myslef this way. It is said - fear has great eyes. I agree! And I’ve been learning to not be attached to my fears. I feel freedom means the ability to observe them with healthy distance having the power to do what I want no matter what kind of visions my mind produces. I hope my sharing can be an inspiration for you to not be scared of your fearsSo first of all, moving abroad and creating my own space to live was the last step in my plan. I wanted to do that immediately after divorce - me and my ex-husband decided to live as flatmates for a while to not make my plan more complicated. But things I needed to organize before moving out were postponing, and I had no power to speed them up. It became a half of a year till I was ready to move out. And this way, not the divorce but moving abroad became the real separation for our 10 years relationship! There was a lot of emotions and fears in me. Sadness because of leaving someone I shared my life with for so long. Fear of what if I can’t handle difficulties living without anyone close to me - no family, no husband, and even no friends in the new place. The excitement of starting something new, being independent living alone the first time in my life! Sadness and happiness, fear and excitement. An emotional roller coaster. Three weeks before moving to Budapest, I arrived there to find a flat to rent. I had 7 days for that, I felt strong fear it could have been not enough, and a lot of faith if it had been my destinated location, everything would have been all right. What scared me were long term lease agreements without any notice period, so no possibility to change the place I live in case. I decided to negotiate that point with landlords as something necessary for me. Most of the estate agents I contacted said ‘no way, not possible’... The full transcript plus photos and videos is available here: https://www.kasiamay.com/blog/leaving-everything-behind-and-moving-abroad-where-i-know-no-one/ Support the show (https://www.paypal.com/donate/?token=Vm6i9wbh7V9vawDhSAOtnc2T5Uj105Mpbj42skkem_uUGrVJxIDSyk4TRfTXRSSy9i8wmm&country.x=US&locale.x=EN_US )

Free coaching sessions for women: https://www.lessstressmorejoy.com/product/coffee-with-kasia-free-coaching-for-women/The whole transcription is available here: https://www.kasiamay.com/blog/how-could-i-know-that-i-have-a-good-therapist/After the interview with Dr. Hayden Finch about how to choose a therapist I got a lot of messages from you that you are already in therapy but you have doubts it is helpful for you or you are working with a right person. I feel the question ‘How could I know that I have a good therapist’ is a very important one, so I am honored to present you what is Dr. Hayden Finch’s opinion about it. Dr. Hayden Finch is an experienced psychologist who supports a lot of people on their inner journeys. If you search for more information about therapy, recovery, personal development look at the blog haydenfinch.com and find Hayden on Youtube, Instagram, and Twitter! And of course, read our previous interviews! Unfortunately, there is the entire ocean between me and Hayden, so we communicate via emails and you will not listen to the nice voice of Hayden on the record. If you prefer listening than reading, I will tell you every word she shared with us there!How could I know that I have a good therapist?Hayden: You'll know you have a good therapist if you feel supported and challenged at the same time. It's important that you feel safe with the person, but don't expect every session to be easy or even to make you feel good. Therapy often doesn't feel good… We're working on hard emotions and changing bad habits. It's hard work! I tell my clients: If you want to feel good, go get a massage… If you want to change, we've got to get a little uncomfortable. Your therapist should respect your time (by showing up on time to appointments and not canceling or rescheduling too frequently), listen when you talk, and remember what you've told them in the past. They should be prepared for your sessions. They should continuously refer to your goals rather than just chatting about random topics. Your therapist should also be willing to learn alongside you (e.g., by doing research about your struggles). The combination of competence plus connection is the secret sauce for a good therapist -- it's not sufficient to just have a therapist you like, you also need to have a therapist who will encourage you to make the changes that brought you into therapy in the first place. Even when you have a great therapist, someone you really feel comfortable with and someone who's encouraging you and pushing you, you don't always make the progress you'd expect. Sometimes, it's necessary to make a change. This could be a change in your therapist, a change in the treatment approach, a change in the treatment plan, or a combination of all three. The whole transcription is available here: https://www.kasiamay.com/blog/how-could-i-know-that-i-have-a-good-therapist/Support the show (https://www.paypal.com/donate/?token=Vm6i9wbh7V9vawDhSAOtnc2T5Uj105Mpbj42skkem_uUGrVJxIDSyk4TRfTXRSSy9i8wmm&country.x=US&locale.x=EN_US )

Free coaching sessions for women: https://www.lessstressmorejoy.com/product/coffee-with-kasia-free-coaching-for-women/You can find the transcription here: https://www.kasiamay.com/blog/my-first-therapy-session-goals-and-the-contract/This is the second time I am asking Dr. Hayden Finch for answering some of your questions. This time it is about the first therapy session, goals and the contract with your therapist. Of course, I will share with you my experience but I decided it would be great to start from something not so subjective to give you professional feedback. Dr. Hayden Finch is an experienced psychologist who supports a lot of people on their inner journeys. Take under your consideration the things she shares are based on therapeutic experience in the United States. If you live somewhere else, some things can be different.Unfortunately, there is the entire ocean between us, so we communicate via emails and you will not listen to the nice voice of Hayden on the record. If you prefer listening than reading, I will tell you every word Hayden shared with us there!How the first session with a therapist look like?Hayden: Each therapist conducts their first sessions a little bit differently, and the first session is usually very different from subsequent appointments. Usually, at the first appointment, you’ll start out by completing paperwork that’s pretty typical at any type of healthcare appointment. Then, the therapist will talk to you about confidentiality and basic office policies. After that, they will usually ask you to talk about your primary concerns, like what you’re struggling with that brought you in for an appointment.Usually, most of the first session is spent discussing what’s bothering you, your thoughts about it, and how it’s developed over time. Often, the therapist will also ask you a few general questions about your family history, medical history, medications, education, work, etc. so they can better understand you as a whole and start to put some of the pieces together in terms of what you’re dealing with and what the best treatment approaches would be. The appointment typically ends with time to ask the therapist any questions you have. Sometimes in that first appointment and sometimes in the next appointment, you and your therapist will set goals for therapy, talk about treatment options, and decide on a plan for reaching your goals. What kind of goals we can have during therapy?Hayden: Your therapy goals will be unique to you. Practically anything you’re struggling with emotionally, behaviorally, or cognitively can be a goal for therapy. Most often, people set goals in therapy to change something — face a fear, replace an unhealthy habit, improve their relationships (with themselves or with others), etc. You can find the transcription here: https://www.kasiamay.com/blog/my-first-therapy-session-goals-and-the-contract/Support the show (https://www.paypal.com/donate/?token=Vm6i9wbh7V9vawDhSAOtnc2T5Uj105Mpbj42skkem_uUGrVJxIDSyk4TRfTXRSSy9i8wmm&country.x=US&locale.x=EN_US )

Free coaching sessions for women: https://www.lessstressmorejoy.com/product/coffee-with-kasia-free-coaching-for-women/Check the transcript here or below: https://www.kasiamay.com/blog/how-to-choose-a-therapist/I got some messages from you with a question about how to choose a therapist, what is important to make a decision that this is the right person. It is not an easy topic to answer and definitely, it is not a simple choice to make. I think I personally had more luck than knowledge on how to do that when I was looking for support. That’s why I decided to ask about it a professional - Dr. Hayden Finch, a clinical psychologist with broad experience in work with people. I am honored to announce this is the first interview with Hayden. This amazing woman agreed to answer more of your questions in the next weeks. Unfortunately, there is the entire ocean between us, so we communicate via emails and you will not listen to the nice voice of Hayden on the record. If you prefer listening than reading, I will tell you every word Hayden shared with us there!So, how to choose a therapist who will be the right choice for you? Dr. Hayden Finch says:Choosing a therapist is one of the most important components of getting started with therapy. In fact, the relationship you have with your therapist makes a bigger difference in how effective therapy is than the treatments the therapist uses! So it's important to spend some time choosing the person who's going to be the best fit for you. Start by asking your friends and family what they like about their therapist. If you're comfortable seeing the same therapist they see, then you might consider trying that person. Another option is to ask your friends and family to ask their therapist for recommendations of other therapists. If your friends and family trust their therapist, chances are that their therapist also knows other great therapists in the area. If none of your friends are in therapy, then consider asking your physician for a referral. Another option is to check with databases of therapists who have the training you're looking for. If you're looking specifically for a cognitive-behavioral therapist, for example, you can search here: http://www.findcbt.org/FAT/. Other types of therapy have similar databases where you can search for people with specific training.Most people find therapists through online searches. Psychology Today is one of the most popular platforms. It's kind of like online dating... therapists have profiles on these websites, and you search through the profiles, look at their pictures and bio, and email or call the ones you like. Look for a therapist who looks like someone you'd feel comfortable with, someone who seems approachable and knowledgeable. Read their biography. If the way they talk about mental health resonates with you, you'll probably like them. Check the transcript here or below: https://www.kasiamay.com/blog/how-to-choose-a-therapist/Support the show (https://www.paypal.com/donate/?token=Vm6i9wbh7V9vawDhSAOtnc2T5Uj105Mpbj42skkem_uUGrVJxIDSyk4TRfTXRSSy9i8wmm&country.x=US&locale.x=EN_US )

Free coaching sessions for women: https://www.lessstressmorejoy.com/product/coffee-with-kasia-free-coaching-for-women/ALl the transcript is available here: https://www.kasiamay.com/blog/looking-for-a-place-to-live-based-on-intuition-and-trust-in-destiny/It is time to start flat-hunting in Budapest. I have 6 days to do that. I believe if living here is my destiny, the right place will come to me when I give it a chance being on the spot and searching for it. And after those six days, I will know more about what my destiny is or is not. It is like an inner adventure full of physical experience!I have in my head there is no logic (in the way we are taught to see the world), and being free means following my intuition, no letting my ego create any scenarios, just being present, focused on myslef, doing things spontaneously and receiving what is coming - then the Universe will cooperate with me creating what we usually call ‘coincidences’. Just good vibes and everything will be ok. But it is not easy to be in this state. I have moments I am very scared and I feel insecure that I have only 6 days to find a flat. Then I would like to push myslef just to choose an offer no matter what is in the contract and what the flat is. Just to have it done and get rid of the thoughts that I can not handle. I also have an emotional rollercoaster because moving in here means leaving some people who I spent a lot of time with in Poland. I feel like this is the end of something bigger than my life routine...I feel myslef like pure energy which is diluted by my fears and negative thoughts, then I am disappearing and I need to work on my trust and gratitude to come back to my intensity. And this energy also changes its colors when I feel connected to someone, there is an interaction between us in my thoughts or in real life. Then I am a mirror of this person, I receive their emotions and my own appears as feedback on theirs. It can be overwhelming, especially now when so much is changing in my life and contacts with people. I am still learning how to let the emotions just simply in and out to return to my own lightness as soon as possible. But I try to observe myslef continuously to let the emotions out when they come and stay focused on what I feel I want and need in each moment with gratitude for everything I have and I experience right now. This adventure of trying to organize my life abroad after changing my name, getting a divorce, cutting relations with people who didn’t want to accept me and my choices, and quitting my job, is a great lesson of how to keep following my intuition. I am open for all the crazy (from the logical point of view) coincidences. ALl the transcript is available here: https://www.kasiamay.com/blog/looking-for-a-place-to-live-based-on-intuition-and-trust-in-destiny/Support the show (https://www.paypal.com/donate/?token=Vm6i9wbh7V9vawDhSAOtnc2T5Uj105Mpbj42skkem_uUGrVJxIDSyk4TRfTXRSSy9i8wmm&country.x=US&locale.x=EN_US )

Free coaching sessions for women: https://www.lessstressmorejoy.com/product/coffee-with-kasia-free-coaching-for-women/The full transcript is available here: https://www.kasiamay.com/blog/i-am-starting-my-life-over/I changed my name. I divorced my husband. I cut contact with my family. I quit my job. It is 6.30 pm when I am texting this, and in 3 hours I will start traveling abroad to rent a flat and move in somewhere where I will start over. The place where everything is new, I have no friends, I don’t know the language, I have no job, I don’t know any place. I am freaking out but at the same time, I need it...Two years ago I made a decision to clean my life getting rid of everything that made me unhappy and preparing the space for the new. I had a list of many steps to make it real. Therapy to make me aware of my limitations and strong enough to change. A strategy of making savings. A lot of work to let go of all attachments to people I was related to. Some of them stayed as friends, some of them didn’t want to accept my need to be free and we broke up. I was able to imagine some parts of my dream life. There was living abroad and traveling a lot. Changing places where I live. An online job which made this kind of life possible. Friends all over the world. A lot of interactions with new people and experiencing reality spontaneously. There was me free to make every choice, change every decision, try new things. Brave and open. Called the way I created for myslef - ‘May’ because ‘ I may so there is nothing I have to do but there is a lot I may choose when I want’. And now it is all starting. My life is clean of everything I didn’t want and prepared for the new. I picked one place from the list of the cities I would like to live in. The cheapest, the closest to Poland where I spent all my life and possible to handle using only English. An easy start? I don’t feel it this way now! Tomorrow morning I will be there and I will start the adventure of creating my reality to have my dream life. Flat, job, friends, everyday activities. Everything needs to be created. I will share every step of that with you. It will be a story about discovering myslef, fighting against my fears and creating the reality outside according to my intuition which tells me what I need to be happy. I want my life to be the best book I’ve ever read. Interesting. Full of strands. Touching. Making me laugh. Not obvious - confusing and surprising. Full of emotions. I will write this book for myslef and I will share it because I believe everybody has the power to change everything to be happy to the fullest and to be free of every limitation, and I would like each of us to be aware of their own power to change. No matter who we are, how we feel, what we experienced, what our lives are now and how impossible any changes sound. The full transcript is available here: https://www.kasiamay.com/blog/i-am-starting-my-life-over/Support the show (https://www.paypal.com/donate/?token=Vm6i9wbh7V9vawDhSAOtnc2T5Uj105Mpbj42skkem_uUGrVJxIDSyk4TRfTXRSSy9i8wmm&country.x=US&locale.x=EN_US )

Free coaching sessions for women: https://www.lessstressmorejoy.com/product/coffee-with-kasia-free-coaching-for-women/The full transcript is available here - https://www.kasiamay.com/blog/when-a-scary-bear-becomes-a-vulnerable-man-a-word-about-dreams-in-therapy/What I dream I had this night! I was walking pregnant right before the labor and suddenly, I saw a carriage and a bear on the horizon. I got scared that the bear would attack the horse. It started happening but at the last moment, the bear changed the direction and came running to me. I laid on the grass to protect my child against the impact and reached out my hand with a Teddy Bear towards the Bear which just took the Teddy from me. And then it came to me that the Bear paid its attention to me because I felt fear, so I stopped being afraid and got up, and then the Bear changed into a man, a normal man, not scary at all. I smiled and told him: ‘The Teddy Bear is a gift for you, please, take it, I am happy to do that!’ and he cried touched by my words. And now I am playing I am Carl Gustav Jung analyzing the symbols in my dream. I am not surprised at all by any of the dreams about pregnancy I’ve had last time. I am starting my life adventure on Sunday, it is a new phase in my life, definitely, the new is coming and it took a long time till I am ready, so it’s been like a very long pregnancy! And not without significance are the facts that I had this dream in the morning when I wanted to pee a lot and I was still full after a big dinner last evening. That’s not Jung, that’s life :) The new phase in my life which I will share with you more since Sunday is connected to a decision I made two years ago to create a totally adult life for myslef, the life when I rely only on myslef, I am totally responsible for everything that comes to me, I get rid of the things I don’t want, I prepare the space for the new, and I find what makes me happy to put it there. The life which is great no matter what happened to me in the past. The life which is not ruled by my traumas and fears. So yeah - I gave my Teddy Bear, a symbol of being a child dependent on others, to someone else. Maybe someone in need? A bear which changed like a kissed frog becomes a prince. A scary bear which turned out to be a vulnerable man who needed a bit of love to show his real face. Isn’t it that a bit of love is what we all need to be authentic in relations with people? I didn’t remember my dreams till I started writing them down two years ago and then analyzing them became something very interesting and exciting to me. The language of dreams is so fascinating and I have a series of the same dreams with some differences when I do my work on myslef. I can see the progress this way! I like it a lot and many times it showed me the right direction in my personal development and in therapy. For example, when I was suppressing some emotions, I had no idea I was angry or sad because of something, and all emotions were appearing only in my dreams.The full transcript is available here - https://www.kasiamay.com/blog/when-a-scary-bear-becomes-a-vulnerable-man-a-word-about-dreams-in-therapy/Support the show (https://www.paypal.com/donate/?token=Vm6i9wbh7V9vawDhSAOtnc2T5Uj105Mpbj42skkem_uUGrVJxIDSyk4TRfTXRSSy9i8wmm&country.x=US&locale.x=EN_US )

Free coaching sessions for women: https://www.lessstressmorejoy.com/product/coffee-with-kasia-free-coaching-for-women/The full transcription is available here: https://www.kasiamay.com/blog/emotional-recovery-through-bodywork/KM: Hey, it’s Kasia May. Today I am here with Kasia Kaminska to talk about emotional recovery through bodywork. Kasia is a very experienced yoga teacher who connects a lot of approaches in her work, including straightly therapeutical ones like Aleksander Lowen’s bioenergetics, Somatic Experiencing by Peter Levine or Body-Mind Centering by Bonnie Bainbridge Cohen. We met last Sunday at a workshop dedicated to the pelvis. Kasia, working with you there was a great experience for me and I am honored to have you here. KK: Hello, I’m also happy to be here and to be able to talk about my work with you.KM: I have in my head that talking therapy is still the most popular when we feel we need some help to change something in ourselves, in our lives. You are not a therapist, but the things you offer to people during workshops and classes can support them in self-growth and emotional recovery a lot. How does it work that movement and exercises can help us in healing our emotions? Do you think it is good to do something like that additionally when we are in talking therapy? KK: Well, answering the first question it is very important to talk about our body being able to contain emotions. Everything we experience from the very beginning of our lives, even before we were born, is contained by our bodies, and it occurs as different types of tensions in different areas. And what is very important is the work that we do in a very conscious way to release the tension. And through that tension, we are able to detect some emotions stuck in our body. Sometimes it’s pleasure, sometimes it’s pain, sometimes it’s fear. And then to do some other work. So everything we experienced is already written in our bodies, and that’s why it’s good to combine these two approaches, the verbal one and the non-verbal one - the bodywork, because it gives us the ability to first, be conscious in our mind about what we are going through, about the mechanisms that guide us, about our patterns, and then it gives the body the possibility to feel it, to experience it once again. It is very important to know that we don’t give ourselves permission to express ourselves, to react in a way that we need to react. And it is necessary for the body to react not to create this tension. And first, in our childhood, we are being forbidden by our parents to scream, to shout, to kick, to jump, so it’s not only about these hard emotions but also the good emotions - joy, some spontaneous reactions, and then also anger, and fear and all of that. So as adults also we are not really used to express that. And through that bodywork, we are able to experience that once again, so first it’s kind of come back to that time, but we are able to have a perspective of an adult person seeing ourselves what we’ve been not able to do as kids. KM: So how to work with our bodies to release emotions? What kind of classes, activities we can choose to reach this goal? The full transcription is available here: https://www.kasiamay.com/blog/emotional-recovery-through-bodywork/Support the show (https://www.paypal.com/donate/?token=Vm6i9wbh7V9vawDhSAOtnc2T5Uj105Mpbj42skkem_uUGrVJxIDSyk4TRfTXRSSy9i8wmm&country.x=US&locale.x=EN_US )

Free coaching sessions for women: https://www.lessstressmorejoy.com/product/coffee-with-kasia-free-coaching-for-women/You can find a full description of the podcast here:https://www.kasiamay.com/blog/emdr-eye-movements-which-reduce-stress-and-let-us-feel-distant/A database of therapeutic methods, coaching approaches, and personal development tools: https://www.lessstressmorejoy.com/sole-database/EMDR means Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing. It is a very simple therapeutic method which simulates the state of mind when we sleep and we have intense dreams. This phase of sleep is called the REM and it is crucial for our mental health and our mood during a day. It serves us to process all the pieces of information from our lives – it deletes the ones we don’t need anymore, it saves the new ones and according to those, it changes the ways our subconsciousness functions and we consciously think. And what is the most important – it reduces stress and let us feel distant to what happened in our life. Thanks to REM we can change the perspective of how we look at things. It is like the human brain, the biggest and the most incredible computer of all time has an update every time when we are in the REM phase. And this phase is characterized by rapid eye movements. So what a great idea to have more updates when we feel depressed, we have PTSD, C-PTSD, panic attacks, depression, anxiety or we are under the influence of huge stress, don’t you think? The point of EMDR is exactly to move your eyes very fast from one side to another so it just repeats the simple pattern from the REM phase of sleep. In my opinion, it is totally genius! And it is logical when we survived something traumatic, we need more REM to integrate that. But unfortunately, after trauma, it is typical to have problems with sleeping. EMDR is a smart solution for that, isn’t it? So how and where to do EMDR? First of all, you can do it with a therapist. During a session, you recall your emotions or memories and then your eyes just follow your therapist’s finger. It sounds simple and weird, doesn’t it? But believe me, this method of therapeutic work is very effective. It is worth trying. And you can also use EMDR yourself when you are overwhelmed by strong emotions, you have a flashback or a panic attack or you wake up at night from a nightmare. I will share with you my way to do that in these kinds of situations.You can find a full description of the podcast here:https://www.kasiamay.com/blog/emdr-eye-movements-which-reduce-stress-and-let-us-feel-distant/Support the show (https://www.paypal.com/donate/?token=Vm6i9wbh7V9vawDhSAOtnc2T5Uj105Mpbj42skkem_uUGrVJxIDSyk4TRfTXRSSy9i8wmm&country.x=US&locale.x=EN_US )

Free coaching sessions for women: https://www.lessstressmorejoy.com/product/coffee-with-kasia-free-coaching-for-women/You can find a full transcription of the podcast here:https://www.kasiamay.com/blog/a-safe-place-technique-in-healing-depression-and-effects-of-high-stress/A database of therapeutic methods, coaching approaches, and personal development tools: https://www.lessstressmorejoy.com/sole-database/During a nerve-wracking experience which is judged by our subconsciousness as a danger without a possibility to fight, a body pretends it is dead in order to save us. That’s an effect of being exposed to high stress which we call ‘depression’. It is the way our survival instinct works. An animal which can’t evade a predator tries to look like carcass to avoid death. It could have been helpful for us when we lived in the natural world. Unfortunately, now it is quite problematic - many of us have problems to return to the emotional balance after a highly stressful situation although objectively there is nothing dangerous around anymore. Statistics are terrifying - according to the World Health Organisation, more than 300 millions people of all ages suffer from depression! So what to do when there is nothing to feel so bad in the present moment but we feel like crap? What to do when our subconsciousness doesn’t get we want to leave the past and finally be happy? What to do when we can’t deal with the effect of the trauma? There are a lot of therapeutic methods to let the subconsciousness understand that we are safe. Today I would like to share with you the one I got to know as the first on my path. It is called ‘a safe place technique’. This method helped me when I had strong PTSD. I was in the state of such high anxiety and fear of other people that I was not able to work with a therapist. I needed to make my defense reactions lower before the real work started and this technique helped me a lot. I also have friends who don’t suffer from PTSD but they have too much stress in their lives. They use a safe place to relax and sleep better at nights. I believe it could work for many of us no matter what we struggle with. I like it because we don’t need a therapist or any special equipment to do that and money are not a barrier here at all. You can find a full transcription of the podcast here:https://www.kasiamay.com/blog/a-safe-place-technique-in-healing-depression-and-effects-of-high-stress/Support the show (https://www.paypal.com/donate/?token=Vm6i9wbh7V9vawDhSAOtnc2T5Uj105Mpbj42skkem_uUGrVJxIDSyk4TRfTXRSSy9i8wmm&country.x=US&locale.x=EN_US )

Free coaching sessions for women: https://www.lessstressmorejoy.com/product/coffee-with-kasia-free-coaching-for-women/All the transcription of the podcast: https://www.kasiamay.com/blog/forgiving-is-not-therapeutic/Hey, it is Kasia May. Today’s topic is forgiveness. Have you ever heard you have to forgive people who hurt you? Have you heard without forgiving you will not find peace? You will not feel better after what happened to you? Or you will not go to heaven? What a bullshit! That’s a fucking bullshit repeated by society, church, and even some therapists.Dear, you don’t have to forgive anyone. Moreover, you should not do it to let yourself feel angry with the people who hurt you or didn’t protect you or didn’t support you when you needed it. That anger will help you in healing. That anger is necessary to feel better! The anger which is not possible to be felt when you try to forgive. The anger which is suppressed when something bad is happening to you and you are powerless, you can’t stop the person who is hurting you, you can’t find a way off when something hurtful is happening. There is a lot of anger and your job to help yourself is to free it. Anger is very stigmatized in our society. We stop children when they are angry, saying ‘don’t be rude, be polite’. We are afraid of some people because they are so much angry that they seem aggressive. We express our negative emotions towards others anonymously on the internet or we complain a lot to deal with our anger. In my view, it looks like complaining and judging other people are the only ways to let the anger out which are socially approved… But they are never enough to feel better because mostly when we complain or judge others we are not aware of the fact the things around us and people we meet are not responsible for our feelings. We are not aware of the fact emotions we feel are about a need to release tension we carry in our bodies. We have to release that tension to stay alive and our subconsciousness looks at everything as a chance to let us express the anger we keep inside. I need to repeat: it is not enough this way! We need to connect with our anger consciously and we need to send it into the right direction to let it go, feel better, be happier. But we don’t want to be angry because we are taught it is rude, we deserve punishment when we express anger, we are accepted by others only when we don’t show our negative emotions. That’s the way most of us were raised. That has been the most popular way of parenting. Popular and dangerous because it creates people who are unable to protect themselves, who have problems with setting boundaries and who release their anger in uncontrolled ways like judging others, complaining and even violence. All the transcription of the podcast: https://www.kasiamay.com/blog/forgiving-is-not-therapeutic/Support the show (https://www.paypal.com/donate/?token=Vm6i9wbh7V9vawDhSAOtnc2T5Uj105Mpbj42skkem_uUGrVJxIDSyk4TRfTXRSSy9i8wmm&country.x=US&locale.x=EN_US )

Free coaching sessions for women: https://www.lessstressmorejoy.com/product/coffee-with-kasia-free-coaching-for-women/All the transcription of the podcast: https://www.kasiamay.com/blog/who-am-i-and-what-is-it-all-about/I’m Kasia, I am a victim and a survivor of violence and – what is the most important to me right now – I am a woman who wants to change something in the world. I feel when we experience dark sides of humanity, we feel alone, we are overwhelmed, it seems like the entire world is against us and there is nothing we can do, then we develop unimaginable strength in ourselves. That strength lives in us, it lets us survive every day, just very often we don’t know how powerful we are.I will give you an example – myself. But it could be everybody. Look around – there is so many of us who suffer from pain and depression, who are unhappy about their lives or even suicidal, who complain a lot or not talk about their emotions at all, who feel life is gray and just try to handle every day. Notice how often we anasthetize ourselves with alcohol and drugs. And look at the statistic of violence. They are terrifying! It is all caused by tremendous suffering and supported by the infinite desire to live. So I’m the example. I was raised in a family full of alcohol, mental and physical violence and sexual abuse towards women and children. Could you imagine a child in a house like that? Could you believe me that no one from outside ever reacted? And now look where I am – talking to you about the darkest times in my life alive, with no shame, convinced that no matter how you react to me and my confessions, what I am doing is right and I will not stop. I feel happy and touched. That’s a manifestation of my inner strength. You can watch me in the video on my website kasiamay.com and on my youtube channel - Kasia May - less stress, more joy. I am not hiding behind the words. I am showing my face to the world. I am talking to you because I want you to notice the darkness and the light in people you meet on your path. And I am asking you to be honest towards yourself about what you’ve been getting through in your life. There is no life story without any difficulties… Are you aware of the power within you? I hope so! I am aware how long it took me to discover my inner strength and I believe everyone finds their at the right time.Today is a big day for me. I am opening this space to connect with you. I am going to talk about things as they truly are, I want to break taboos and have some influence on human consciousness. My goal is also presenting specific tools to make life changes real, some science perspective, therapeutic knowledge. I’ve been working a lot on myself, trying different methods, meeting different people to help myself and connect to my light. I feel there is a lot of possibilities of self-development but not so easy to find them. I want to take part in popularisation of knowledge and concrete ways to feel better, live easier no matter what kind of traumas we carry, just have less stress and more joy in life.All the transcription of the podcast: https://www.kasiamay.com/blog/who-am-i-and-what-is-it-all-about/Support the show (https://www.paypal.com/donate/?token=Vm6i9wbh7V9vawDhSAOtnc2T5Uj105Mpbj42skkem_uUGrVJxIDSyk4TRfTXRSSy9i8wmm&country.x=US&locale.x=EN_US )

Free coaching sessions for women: https://www.lessstressmorejoy.com/product/coffee-with-kasia-free-coaching-for-women/All the transcription of the podcast: https://www.kasiamay.com/blog/3-minutes-and-youll-be-able-to-recognize-a-pedophile/Today a very short talk. I feel speechless. A topic is very difficult. According to the last research I saw, every fourth child is sexually abused. We have to be aware those statistics are lower than real numbers because this crime is mostly not reported and not even recognized…. But quite often the signals are very clear. The problem is who the abuser is for us and what we think about pedophilia. You know, this is something everybody knows it exists, but at the same time, we are sure it’s beyond us, it happens somewhere far away, but for sure not in our backyard.The fact is most of the people who sexually abuse children are members of their families. I can assure you in this group there are not only priests, people whose social status is suspicious and Michael Jackson. There are also lawyers, doctors, politicians, teachers. People who are very respected in our society. People who look like each of us. People we like or love. People who have husbands, wives, children. Pedophilia is not a minor phenomenon. It is everywhere, it happens in families you would never call as pathological. I am sharing with you something very personal as an example of how difficult it is to notice pedophilia in our surrounding. I hope this story will stay in your mind and change your perception when you are a witness to the signals of childhood sexual abuse. I would like the word ‘pedophile’ to be not an empty phrase like it was in my family. To be clear, my family is quite big. Except my father, an aggressive alcoholic, no one else could never be called ‘a pathology’ in a way we use this word. Just normal people and among them some very respected in the local society. Just listen to me to see what can happen when we think child sexual abuse is beyond us. Listen to me to become able to recognize a pedophile in your surronding. I want you to understand how difficult it is to notice when this is happening around you, when people you personally know do this kind of things. I want you to have this example in your head because I believe it could change your perception, it could make you suspicious when you see the signs.All the transcription of the podcast: https://www.kasiamay.com/blog/3-minutes-and-youll-be-able-to-recognize-a-pedophile/Support the show (https://www.paypal.com/donate/?token=Vm6i9wbh7V9vawDhSAOtnc2T5Uj105Mpbj42skkem_uUGrVJxIDSyk4TRfTXRSSy9i8wmm&country.x=US&locale.x=EN_US )

Free coaching sessions for women: https://www.lessstressmorejoy.com/product/coffee-with-kasia-free-coaching-for-women/All the transcription of the podcast: https://www.kasiamay.com/blog/depression-as-a-way-your-body-tries-to-save-you/Your body is like a house. The way you feel depends on what is happening inside and around it, and how much you care of this place. But life is often out of control. Tornados, floods, fires happen. Then - after difficult and full of stress experience - the house needs more of our effort to become a comfortable space for us again. And it is natural sometimes we have no power and no will to clean the house after a disaster. We would like to have a nice place back but looking at the mess is enough to feel exhausted. That’s depression - the state when we feel bad but we can’t do anything to change it, we can’t find any power within us to do something and the longer it takes, the more hopeless and helpless we feel.After Peter Levine, a trauma therapist and an author of many great books, freezing the body is a normal reaction to a highly stressful experience. In the natural world, an animal which can’t evade a predator freezes to seem dead. The pretending to be carcass is its last chance to survive. This survival mechanism is typical to every creature, including humans. I believe it is helpful to understand that when we feel depressed, powerless, hopeless, our bodies are pretending they are dead to help us survive something that is happening to us, something that reminds us about a difficult event from the past or something what our subconsciousness judges as dangerous. In every case like those, our bodies try to rescue us from a situation without exit! I’d like to highlight the part ‘what our subconsciousness judged as dangerous’ because some of us who suffer from depression say something like ‘I don’t understand why I feel this way, my life is not so bad, I should pull together’. In many situations, the way we feel is not based on our conscious perception. We are a part of the natural world, we have the same survival instincts as animals but our environment is full of stimuli. The place we live in is not a forest or a meadow with flowers and butterflies. Instead of those, we are surrounded by sounds of civilization everywhere, we have too much work to do and not enough free time to rest. That’s the constant speed with focus on things which happen not only around us but all over the world. Never before we had access to such a tremendous number of information. Never before we were focused on something else than ourselves and the part of the world close to us. Our subconsciousness has a lot of material to check if we are safe or not, doesn’t it? No wonder our conscious perception doesn’t notice everything we would like to know, don’t you think? All the transcription of the podcast: https://www.kasiamay.com/blog/depression-as-a-way-your-body-tries-to-save-you/Support the show (https://www.paypal.com/donate/?token=Vm6i9wbh7V9vawDhSAOtnc2T5Uj105Mpbj42skkem_uUGrVJxIDSyk4TRfTXRSSy9i8wmm&country.x=US&locale.x=EN_US )

Free coaching sessions for women: https://www.lessstressmorejoy.com/product/coffee-with-kasia-free-coaching-for-women/All the transcription of the podcast: https://www.kasiamay.com/blog/shame-part-1-why-do-we-feel-ashamed/You sent me some emails with a question of why I said in public that I was a victim of violence, why I shared on the Internet what was happening in my family. There are many reasons for that. One of them is shame. I felt ashamed since I remember. And I need you to recall – I am just an example, there are millions of people like me. Maybe even you know this shame from your own experience. Do you? I hope you don’t! Anyway one day I discovered it was much easier for me to notice there was nothing to be ashamed of when I looked at somebody else talking about difficult things openly. I realized shame makes us silent, alone and unreal, shame generates secrets and taboos, shame doesn’t let us say loudly “stop, I see it and this is wrong”. I believe every voice to break the shame matters in many ways!The core of my shame was feeling guilty about what happened to me and all the violence I witnessed. I felt guilty of everything and ashamed of who I was. Do you remember my sharing? I told you I was a child rasing in a pathological family. I hope you see how illogical my emotions were. I hope you think a victim is never guilty. None of the victims did something wrong, none of us did something to provoke the violence, none of us did something to deserve that. No matter we were children, teenagers or adults. Male or female. None of us! But look around and listen to how people talk. Listen to the stories of girls who shouldn’t wear short skirts because they provoke rapes, children who don’t behave well enough so they need punishments to correct their attitude, wives who don’t fulfill the needs of their husbands and they are reasons of constant fights, betrayals … That’s the way society makes victims feel more guilty and ashamed when their own shame and guilt are hard enough to stand.Why do we feel ashamed? We are afraid people wouldn’t believe us, they would blame us, we would be excluded, rejected, humiliated. We have reasons to be afraid of that. Do you remember how it was at school when you started wearing glasses, your clothes were out of fashion or there was something other kids hated you for? It is like that time never ended because there are people who still react in the same way. This is also something many of us have experienced in our families. And no support anywhere. Nothing to learn we were important, beautiful and good enough. This is hard to imagine we can experience something good when we open up. There is no trust because there was never anyone worth trusting. But when you understand it, you can become this person for us. You can help us break the pattern.Repeat after me, please:There’s no shame in being vulnerable. There’s no shame in being hurt. There’s no shame in being yourself. That’s the beauty of being human.Share it to let more people know you understand. It matters!All the transcription of the podcast: https://www.kasiamay.com/blog/shame-part-1-why-do-we-feel-ashamed/Support the show (https://www.paypal.com/donate/?token=Vm6i9wbh7V9vawDhSAOtnc2T5Uj105Mpbj42skkem_uUGrVJxIDSyk4TRfTXRSSy9i8wmm&country.x=US&locale.x=EN_US )