Parenting Forward

I'm taking a break from podcasting so I can focus on myself, family, and working on my next book. Thank you for your support through the years, and goodbye for now! Links (affiliates included): Parenting After Religious Trauma Membership – https://cindy-brandt.mykajabi.com/partmembership Parenting Forward, the Book – https://amzn.to/3g0LJPn You Are Revolutionary – https://www.beamingbooks.com/store/product/9781506478302/You-Are-Revolutionary *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com. Let them know I sent you. 

Summer is a busy season when you're in the church. There are lots of family activities going on, childcare to work out, and, of course, VBS.  Because we're nearing VBS season, I thought it'd be a good time to talk about whether or not you should send your kids to VBS. Even more so, I want to discuss the bigger question of how we can protect our kids from toxic religion. We must learn how to equip our kids to navigate the world of faith and thought beyond our homes and what that may look like in our day-to-day lives. So, in this episode, I'm going to share all of my thoughts on VBS. Tune in to hear an overview of what exactly VBS is, its purpose and goals, and whether or not I think you should send your kids to it. Show Highlights: A summary of VBS. The evangelical aspects of VBS. Why I find VBS to be predatory. The genuine and positive aspects of VBS. The nuanced aspects of whether or not you should send your kids to VBS. How to prepare your kids if they are going to VBS. How to soothe your own inner child when your kids start getting involved in church activities. How to help your kids spot religious red flags. How to be a good resource to your kids.   Links (affiliates included): Help keep the podcast going by joining the Parenting Forward Patreon Team - https://www.patreon.com/cindywangbrandt Parenting After Religious Trauma Membership - https://cindy-brandt.mykajabi.com/partmembership Parenting Forward, the Book - https://amzn.to/3g0LJPn You Are Revolutionary - https://www.beamingbooks.com/store/product/9781506478302/You-Are-Revolutionary   *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

If you've got a child nearing college or already there, this episode is for you.  We're going to take a critical look at evangelical colleges and universities and analyze the experience they provide our kids. Having attended the evangelical college Wheaton, I have firsthand experience to bring to the table that we'll discuss throughout today's show. Joining me is the host of the Chapel Probation podcast, Scott Okamoto. He grew up in a conservative Christian family but began deconstructing when he went away to college. Eventually, he became a professor at an evangelical university and started to clarify his progressive Christian beliefs. This led to him stepping away and becoming a stay-at-home dad.  Tune in to hear my conversation with Scott on the evangelical college experience from each of our unique perspectives.  Show Highlights: Scott's background with evangelicalism. Why he stepped down from his job at APU and became a stay-at-home dad. What inspired him to start his podcast. Where I was at in my faith while attending Wheaton. The paradox of the evangelical college experience. The challenges deconstruction brings to parenting. Why we must love our kids well and then trust them to make the right decisions. Advice for parents thinking about sending their kids to an evangelical college. Advice for students attending an evangelical college right now. Links (affiliates included): Scott Okamoto Website: https://www.rscottokamoto.com Parenting After Religious Trauma Membership - https://cindy-brandt.mykajabi.com/partmembership Help keep the podcast going by joining the Parenting Forward Patreon Team - https://www.patreon.com/cindywangbrandt Parenting Forward, the Book - https://amzn.to/3g0LJPn1Little  You Are Revolutionary - https://www.beamingbooks.com/store/product/9781506478302/You-Are-Revolutionary *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

Ever been triggered by your child's behavior? It can feel uncontrollable. No matter how hard we try to hold ourselves back when our child behaves a certain way, it immediately puts us into triggered mode. Jen Lumanlan addressed this in her talk at my recent Parenting is Revolutionary conference. Jen holds an MS in Psychology (Child Development) and is the host of the Your Parenting Mojo podcast. She is an amazing reference guide for parents of young kids and shares great parenting advice based on scientific research and the principles of respectful parenting.  In this episode, I'm sharing a snippet of Jen's talk from the conference. She shares a little more about her background and experience with parenting triggers and teaches us how to tame these emotions when they come up. This topic is extremely important for parents at this time so tune in to learn from Jen.   Show Highlights: Where triggered feelings come from. The window of tolerance. Big T trauma and little T trauma. The many different fronts we have to heal on to tame our parenting triggers. How to get more of your daily needs met. How to widen your window of tolerance. Physical habits you can implement to remind yourself to pause. Why it's important to share our authentic feelings with our children. The different triggers that come with having toddlers, adolescents, and teenagers. What it means to feel flooded.   Links (affiliates included): Jen's website - https://www.parentingmojo.com/ Parenting is Revolutionary Conference Recordings: https://www.parentingforwardconference.com/2022-sessions Parenting After Religious Trauma Membership - https://cindy-brandt.mykajabi.com/partmembership Help keep the podcast going by joining the Parenting Forward Patreon Team - https://www.patreon.com/cindywangbrandt Parenting Forward, the Book - https://amzn.to/3g0LJPn1Little  You Are Revolutionary - https://www.beamingbooks.com/store/product/9781506478302/You-Are-Revolutionary   *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

The Parenting is Revolutionary Conference is over! It was an incredible time connecting with other parents and parenting influencers in the online space. I myself learned so much and, though I'm exhausted, I feel so fulfilled by the experience. Throughout many of the sessions of the conference, childhood trauma was discussed. A question popped up over and over in my mind: if our parents had had the resources we have today and access to information on mental health and validating emotions, would we have all had better childhoods? I brought my partner in crime Corey Wayne onto the show this week to discuss this. Corey helps me build and maintain the Parenting Forward Conferences and I truly could not do the work that I do without him. Tune in to hear us analyze our own childhoods and more on religious trauma vs. childhood trauma.   Show Highlights: How parenting styles are a generational thing. Some background on Corey's childhood. How he discovered his wounds were mainly childhood trauma, not religious trauma. How Corey has mended his relationship with some of his family members. How ending generational trauma is like a wave. How the concept of “breaking toxic cycles” has become combative rather than a means of building community. Why self-compassion is such an important part of healing your inner child. How to balance grief about your past and gratitude that it made you who you are. Some resources Corey loves.   Links (affiliates included): Parenting is Revolutionary Conference Recordings: https://www.parentingforwardconference.com/2022-sessions  Parenting After Religious Trauma Membership - https://cindy-brandt.mykajabi.com/partmembership  Help keep the podcast going by joining the Parenting Forward Patreon Team - https://www.patreon.com/cindywangbrandt  Parenting Forward, the Book - https://amzn.to/3g0LJPn You Are Revolutionary - https://www.beamingbooks.com/store/product/9781506478302/You-Are-Revolutionary    *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

One of my favorite people, Hillary McBride, recently posted this on Twitter: “Spiritual trauma is someone handing you an inner critic and telling you it's the voice of God.”    I love that quote because it paints the picture of religious trauma so well. Trauma doesn't always have to involve one disastrous event; it can be the result of the script we were given in childhood that stuck with us.   Matthew Paul Turner is a children's author who does amazing work towards reversing that harmful script. He is trying to put a better story into the hearts and minds of children, specifically using the language and vocabulary of God.    Matthew is joining us on this episode of Parenting Forward to discuss some of his best-selling books. We also talk about how parents can give their kids a better script. If we don't want our children to have to rewrite their scripts or “recover from God” in adulthood, we must be proactive about introducing them to God the right way now.   Show Highlights:   The script I was given as a child about God. The damage that harmful script does to children's brains. The gossip chain that develops in fundamental communities. Why it's so hard for us deconstructed believers to accept compliments or love ourselves. How our body holds trauma. Why Matthew didn't write evangelical books. How children's books can benefit adults too. What it was like for Matthew to write his most recent book, I Am God's Dream, right after coming out. How I Am God's Dream teaches kids to be happy with their bodies. The importance of genuine apologies.   Links (affiliates included): Matthew Paul Turner - https://matthewpaulturner.com Parenting is Revolutionary Conference: https://www.parentingforwardconference.com Register with the discount code: PFPOD for 20% off! Parenting After Religious Trauma Membership - https://cindy-brandt.mykajabi.com/partmembership Help keep the podcast going by joining the Parenting Forward Patreon Team - https://www.patreon.com/cindywangbrandt Parenting Forward, the Book - https://amzn.to/3g0LJPn *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

Parenting is revolutionary because it not only changes your perspective as a parent but it also impacts your perspective of your kids. Parenting is not just for parents but for anyone who wants to see a better world, not only for the children but for all of us that co-exist. Parenting is revolutionary because it changes us. It evolves us and it demands that we become better people. In this episode, we talk about the five reasons why parenting is revolutionary. One essential thing to note is how parenting teaches us to manage our triggers because the things our kids do that tend to push our buttons aren't necessarily our kids' fault. Instead, they are triggering something inside of us that needs healing, perhaps a past traumatic experience or simply the everyday trauma of living in an unkind world. Just the mere resurfacing of what needs to be healed inside of us is revolutionary! Show Highlights: Learning and unlearning relationship habits Re-parenting our inner child Preventing childhood adverse effects Managing your triggers Drawing better boundaries between your issues and your children's behavior Being parents to our society's children If only adults could just play more… What to expect from the Parenting is Revolutionary Conference Links (affiliates included): Parenting is Revolutionary Conference: https://www.parentingforwardconference.com Register with the discount code: PFPOD for 20% off!!  Parenting After Religious Trauma Membership - https://cindy-brandt.mykajabi.com/partmembership  Help keep the podcast going by joining the Parenting Forward Patreon Team - https://www.patreon.com/cindywangbrandt Parenting Forward, the Book - https://amzn.to/3g0LJPn1Little  You Are Revolutionary - https://www.beamingbooks.com/store/product/9781506478302/You-Are-Revolutionary *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know I sent you.

Since the pandemic, the world of Christian faith deconstruction exploded into this wonderful kaleidoscope of podcasters and influencers, including the Dirty Rotten Church Kids, Adrian and Josh, who both left their faith but continued to forge and nurture a solid friendship beyond the walls of the church. Once you leave the church that has become a foundational and formative part of your identity, it leaves you with that sense that you no longer have a community or you don't have anyone to talk to. If you're like many people who want to keep their relationships because they can't stand the thought of being lonely, you may end up keeping your friends from toxic pasts who don't really love you for who you are. Because if they did, then it wouldn't matter to them if you left your faith or stopped believing in certain things.  In this episode, Adrian and Josh talk about life after church, leaving the religious baggage, and how they approach parenting in a way that's totally different from how their parents had raised them. Show Highlights: The birth of the Dirty Rotten Church Kids podcast How they managed to maintain their friendship outside of the church The biggest parenting issues they're facing Learning to love ourselves and finding our values Not everything has to have eternal consequences Being open to your kids about your own baggage Cutting the cords with people you don't resonate with A chosen family that's involved in your kids' upbringing Links (affiliates included): My appearance on the DRCK Podcast - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/security-and-clarity-w-cindy-wang-brandt/id1487820978?i=1000498263787  DRCK on my Parenting Conference, alongside Your Favorite Heretics and Jo Luehmann - https://www.parentingforwardconference.com/parenting-after-deconstruction  Parenting After Religious Trauma Membership - https://cindy-brandt.mykajabi.com/partmembership  Help keep the podcast going by joining the Parenting Forward Patreon Team - https://www.patreon.com/cindywangbrandt Parenting Forward, the Book - https://amzn.to/3g0LJPn1Little  You Are Revolutionary - https://www.beamingbooks.com/store/product/9781506478302/You-Are-Revolutionary *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know I sent you.

The stigma of having an abortion is still rampant, especially among highly conservative people of faith. This led to Katey Zeh's passion for navigating how to bridge these two worlds. It is important to provide care and compassion to those who decide to go through abortion because, at its core, abortion is still part of the human experience.  Statistically, most people who have abortions are already parents. And oftentimes, it is a parenting decision they need to make to care for their living children. A lot of times, these are people who have caregiving responsibilities. Regardless of whether people should have access to it, it's just important to recognize that most people who have abortions are parents. On the other hand, some people choose not to ever have kids. And unless they know that they won't be stigmatized, harassed, and pressured by society, only then is that choice made out of enthusiastic consent.  In this episode, Katey Zeh talks about her new book, A Complicated Choice. Katey is an author, speaker, and strategist. She is the Chief Executive Officer of the Religious Coalition for Reproductive Choice, and she talks frequently about the intersection of faith and activism.  Show Highlights: How Katey got involved in advocating for abortion The role of crisis pregnancy centers The disconnect between doctrines and the way we experience human life The need to flex our compassion muscles Abortion out of a parenting decision Making sense of the experience through having that space to process and having access to their needs Minimizing the grief that comes from abortion Acknowledging abortion as a human experience Links (affiliates included): A Complicated Choice: https://www.broadleafbooks.com/store/product/9781506473499/A-Complicated-Choice  Parenting After Religious Trauma Membership: https://cindy-brandt.mykajabi.com/partmembership  Help keep the podcast going by joining the Parenting Forward Patreon Team: https://www.patreon.com/cindywangbrandt Parenting Forward, the Book: https://amzn.to/3g0LJPn You Are Revolutionary: https://www.beamingbooks.com/store/product/9781506478302/You-Are-Revolutionary *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

Growing up in a religious and Asian household, I had very little sex education, if any, and it was mainly about purity culture. And it has only been in the past two years that I've actually delved into demolishing such sex-negativity. Last month, I ran a webinar on sex-positive parenting with Melissa Pintor Carnagey and I got to check off some of the toxic ideas of purity culture and reframe them with what I've learned from Melissa and other wonderful sex educators. And so today, I wanted to share it with our wider podcast audience. It's so important that we're opening up these conversations about sex with our kids to help them make informed choices.  Melissa is the founder of Sex-Positive Families, which provides resources to give children holistic, comprehensive, and shame-free sexuality education so they can live informed, empowered, and safer lives. She is an expert in sexual health education and a mother of three. She currently runs a fantastic online course called Growing Into You which provides gender-inclusive puberty education for kids ages 8-12.  Show Highlights: Deciding for yourself what sex means and giving other people the agency to decide for themselves   Early ongoing sexual health education provides more context as kids grow Virginity as a construct is self-negative. Reframing the language suggesting self-negative ideas Self-pleasure as a human right and being able to reclaim your own body Reframing fear-based narratives around pornography Redefining porn and having a more nuanced conversation about porn Discerning how porn affects us Seeking age-congruent and age-relevant resources Sexuality is not synonymous with sex Co-parenting with a sex-negative parent Recognizing boundaries and safer ways to learn about sex How to talk to kids about sex when they're not interested How to help teens decide when to have sex A mindset shift from preventing things we can't control to preparing our young people for safer and more satisfying experiences Links (affiliates included): Growing Into You (Gender-Inclusive Puberty Education for Ages 8-12) - https://sex-positive-families.mykajabi.com/?ref=https%3A%2F%2Fsex-positive-families.mykajabi.com%2Fa%2F2147492303%2F27YazHpV  Parenting After Religious Trauma Membership - https://cindy-brandt.mykajabi.com/partmembership  Help keep the podcast going by joining the Parenting Forward Patreon Team - https://www.patreon.com/cindywangbrandt Parenting Forward, the Book - https://amzn.to/3g0LJPn  You Are Revolutionary - https://www.beamingbooks.com/store/product/9781506478302/You-Are-Revolutionary *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com  

For years now, I have been on a journey of healing from religious trauma. My inspiration through it all has been to become a better person for both myself and all of the people around me, including my children. Because of this pursuit, I've always been on the lookout for people who help others resolve their childhood and religious trauma (which I've now come to realize is complex trauma). So, today, I am extremely excited to bring on a guest who does just that. Dr. Tanner Wallace is the host of the Relational Healing podcast. She is also a mentor and a community builder for those with childhood trauma. Through her history of childhood trauma and extensive professional training, Dr. Tanner has developed groundbreaking new ways of healing from trauma. In this episode, we get into some of the science of trauma and talk about all things regarding being trauma-informed. Specifically, we get into why religious trauma can be so particularly damaging and how to heal and move forward from it. Tune in to learn some amazing insights and healing tips from Dr. Tanner Wallace. Show Highlights: Dr. Tanner's story. Why becoming trauma-informed is the key to healing. Why religious trauma is complex trauma. How complex trauma forces us to develop multiple personalities. Why some wounds develop into trauma while others don't. Why we need to develop a secure attachment with ourselves. How religious trauma makes us doubt our own authority. Why just physically leaving the church won't heal our religious trauma. How to figure out what needs to be dropped completely from your religious past and what just needs to be adapted. Why shame is so particularly damaging and traumatic. Practices for developing secure internal and external attachments. Connecting all of this to parenting. Links (affiliates included): Dr. Tanner Wallace's IG - https://www.instagram.com/drtannerwallace/?hl=en Parenting After Religious Trauma Membership - https://cindy-brandt.mykajabi.com/partmembership Help keep the podcast going by joining the Parenting Forward Patreon Team - https://www.patreon.com/cindywangbrandt Parenting Forward, the Book - https://amzn.to/3g0LJPn1Little You Are Revolutionary - https://www.beamingbooks.com/store/product/9781506478302/You-Are-Revolutionary *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

As many of you know, I've been investing a lot recently in my new community. It's called Parenting After Religious Trauma and, in it, we explore the impact of childhood trauma and specifically religious trauma. We discuss the impact that it has on the rest of our adult lives and parenting.  This all comes back to one of my core beliefs, the thesis of my book Parenting Forward: if we change the way we parent, we can change the world. As time goes on, I only become more and more convinced of this truth. It becomes more and more evident that so much of what happens in our childhood determines the kind of person, neighbor, friend, partner, parent, and citizen that we become.  So today, I have Dr. Carol Scott on the show to talk all about this. Dr. Carol is a TEDx speaker and author of two books. Her expertise is in childhood trauma and how that impacts relationships which she believes is the foundation of success in so many areas of our lives. Tune in to join in on our incredible conversation. Show Highlights: Dr. Carol's journey of realizing the impact her childhood trauma had on her adult life. Why 5-7 years old is a critical time for setting social and relational patterns. How trust issues can develop when we're infants. The difference between unlearning and rewiring our brain patterns. Why healing has to start with admitting that what you experienced in childhood was not okay. How to intentionally nurture our kids' development and emotions without being paranoid about harming them. Why our priority should be making our kids feel seen. How being trauma-informed helps us having better relationships in adulthood. How to figure out your needs and ask for them to be met. Links (affiliates included): Dr. Carol's email: carol@lcarolscott.com Dr. Carol's socials: https://www.facebook.com/Dr.L.CarolScott/  Parenting After Religious Trauma Membership - https://cindy-brandt.mykajabi.com/partmembership Help keep the podcast going by joining the Parenting Forward Patreon Team - https://www.patreon.com/cindywangbrandt Parenting Forward, the Book - https://amzn.to/3g0LJPn1Little You Are Revolutionary - https://www.beamingbooks.com/store/product/9781506478302/You-Are-Revolutionary *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

Many of us begin our parenting journey not really knowing what we're doing. We tell ourselves we'll be fine just winging it and then quickly realize we will not be fine at all.  This is especially true when it comes to discipline. We know a one-size-fits-all approach to discipline won't work but aren't sure how to give our kids the freedom to be exactly who they are. This is exactly what twin sisters Hannah and Kelty experienced and now help other parents navigate. Hannah and Kelty are the founders of Upbringing, and, above all else, moms. They began Upbringing three years ago to advocate for consent-based, shame-free styles of parenting. As a part of their movement, they teach parents how to use powers beyond control in their daily discipline.  In this episode, we talk about all of this. Hannah and Kelty teach us how to honor our children and their uniqueness, especially when it comes to helping them through their big feelings and challenging behaviors. Tune in to learn more! Show Highlights: How Upbringing came to be. Why we should talk about kids on a spectrum of diversity that's related to their sensitivity and spiritedness. What sensitivity and spiritedness mean. Why we need to accept our kids exactly as they are. How to simultaneously self-regulate and teach your children how to regulate themselves.  How to navigate your resentment towards your kids' freedom. How to teach your kids to be fully themselves in a world with social constructs. Why your most important job as a parent is to teach your kids self-awareness. Why we need to redefine safety as former people-pleasers. What consent-based parenting is and how to practice it. Why parenting isn't about perfection but repairing connecting. Links (affiliates included): Hannah and Kelty's website, Upbringing - https://www.upbringing.co Parenting After Religious Trauma Membership - https://cindy-brandt.mykajabi.com/partmembership Help keep the podcast going by joining the Parenting Forward Patreon Team - https://www.patreon.com/cindywangbrandt Parenting Forward, the Book - https://amzn.to/3g0LJPn1Little You Are Revolutionary - https://www.beamingbooks.com/store/product/9781506478302/You-Are-Revolutionary *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

Today we are talking about raising irresponsible kids. This sounds completely counterintuitive, of course. We generally feel pressure to raise kids who are responsible. However, I believe that there is a lot of nuance around this trait. What are we responsible for? To whom are we responsible? Are there things we shouldn't be responsible for? These are the questions I wish I had considered as I grew up. My responsibility contributed to much of my dysfunction now. Today, I have to unlearn being responsible for other people's emotions and various other things that I should not be held responsible for.  However, imagine if our kids never believe they are responsible for these kinds of things. What if they are never taught that they are responsible for other people's emotions? Can we still raise them to be conscious and responsible citizens who care for others?  This is what Kay Bruner and I discuss today. Kay is a therapist and former evangelical who has a lot of experience with over-functioning and codependency. I've asked her to join me in teasing out some of these nuances of what it means to be responsible. Tune in to join us! Show Highlights: The “savior complex” I grew up with. How drawing boundaries made me a better mother and wife. Kay's struggles with taking responsibility for others' emotions. How this relates to her work as a therapist. How evangelicalism contributes to this responsibility burden. Why we need to learn to have confidence in other people. How to make sure our kids aren't taking responsibility for our emotions. Why we shouldn't teach our kids about loving others until they're older. The danger of making our kids be responsible for their siblings. The importance of accepting all of our emotions. Why play is so important for both children and adults. Links (affiliates included): Kay's website, go book a Sedona Retreat! - https://kaybruner.com Parenting After Religious Trauma Membership - https://cindy-brandt.mykajabi.com/partmembership Help keep the podcast going by joining the Parenting Forward Patreon Team - https://www.patreon.com/cindywangbrandt Parenting Forward, the Book - https://amzn.to/3g0LJPn You Are Revolutionary - https://www.beamingbooks.com/store/product/9781506478302/You-Are-Revolutionary *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

One of the most frequently asked questions I've gotten over the years is, “Has your husband deconstructed with you and, if so, how?” Today, I'm finally going to take some time to address this. We're going to veer off topic from our mental health series and dive into marriage and other partnerships. Joining me to talk this through is my dear friend Danny Cortez. Danny has been on the podcast before but I had to bring him back this week. He is someone who has intimate insights into this topic of deconstructing with your partner.  I've toyed with the idea of having a recommitment marriage ceremony and come to the conclusion that Danny is the pastor I would want to reside over it. He is someone I trust with my deconstruction story. Tune in to experience his gentle presence and hear his wise words on deconstructing with a partner. Show Highlights: Danny and his wife's background. The importance of understanding we will change throughout our marriage. Why the goal of deconstructing with your partner is authenticity. Why we cannot harass our partners to deconstruct with us. Why beliefs don't always translate to good character. How we are all in a never-ending process of deconstruction. How to deconstruct with your partner when one of you is more articulate. How to get to the deepest layer of disagreements. Why it's so important that both partners are trauma-informed. How deconstruction feels like being in a new relationship with the same person. Links (affiliates included): How to Deconstruct with your Partner - https://cindywangbrandt.com/how-to-deconstruct-with-your-partner/ Parenting After Religious Trauma Membership - https://cindy-brandt.mykajabi.com/partmembership Help keep the podcast going by joining the Parenting Forward Patreon Team - https://www.patreon.com/cindywangbrandt Parenting Forward, the Book - https://amzn.to/3g0LJPn1Little You Are Revolutionary - https://www.beamingbooks.com/store/product/9781506478302/You-Are-Revolutionary *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

The best parenting is not done in the direction of our children. It's actually done in the direction of our own selves. This is why I think it is so important to talk about mental health and inner work here on the podcast. It's also why I'm so passionate about helping parents with their religious trauma. As many of you know, religious trauma is my special flavor of trauma. It's the thing that would keep me from truly thriving in my life if I weren't dedicated to healing. This drives my zeal to heal and help all of you heal as well. On top of this, so much of what our kids learn from us doesn't come from the active lessons and conscious talks we try to provide. Rather, they pick up on what we do in our mundane moments of life. They're watching the way we act in our relationships, attitudes, and healing. Dr. Glenn Doyle is a trained psychologist who has taught me so much about these kinds of things. He teaches about mental health over on Instagram and I have truly learned so much from him. I wanted to bring him onto the show today to discuss these topics and help us learn how to heal from religious trauma as parents. Show Highlights: How Glenn got into providing self-help on social media. How marketing and personal development content can trigger religious trauma. Why distraction can be a good thing. The distinction between religious trauma and general trauma. Why it's better to be religious trauma proof than nonreligious. How to manage triggers that escalate conflict. Why Glenn is so focused on improving his clients' quality of life. Why it's so harmful to be mean to yourself. How people can experience the same thing in different ways. Why it's important to retell our stories and find meaning in them. How trauma messes with our memories. Links (affiliates included): Parenting After Religious Trauma Membership - https://cindy-brandt.mykajabi.com/partmembership Help keep the podcast going by joining the Parenting Forward Patreon Team - https://www.patreon.com/cindywangbrandt Parenting Forward, the Book - https://amzn.to/3g0LJPn You Are Revolutionary - https://www.beamingbooks.com/store/product/9781506478302/You-Are-Revolutionary *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

Our girls deserve to know about this world that they live in. They deserve to know about the things that impact them. This is why I love all that American Girl is doing right now to reach girls in a way that is signifying to them.  Today's guest, Deanna Singh, partnered with American Girl on a project with this same purpose. This summer, she came out with a book in collaboration with them called A Smart Girl's Guide to Race and Inclusion. Deanna is also a speaker who does some incredible work around diversity, equity, and inclusion. She hosts virtual summits where she trains individuals and organizations on how to be an ally. In this episode, Deanna and I discuss this book that she collaborated on with American Girl and many of the diversity and inclusion lessons within it. She also shares some great practical methods for talking to kids about these topics from her extensive experience. Tune in to learn more and start bringing race and inclusion into your family discussions. Show Highlights: Why Deanna decided to write a book for middle grades and partnered with American Girl. Some of her background as a biracial woman. Why it's so important to have conversations with our kids about race. How being a kid and growing up is hard work. The differences and similarities between talking about race and inclusion with middle schoolers and adults. How scaffolding and storytelling help when having these kinds of conversations with our kids. The “inner radio” analogy Deanna uses to teach kids about their internal voice. Why privilege isn't a bad thing but must be flipped for good.  How parents can be allies. Links (affiliates included): A Smart Girl's Guide Race & Inclusion - https://www.americangirl.com/shop/p/a-smart-girls-guide-race-and-inclusion-book-hcf40 Parenting After Religious Trauma Membership - https://cindy-brandt.mykajabi.com/partmembership Help keep the podcast going by joining the Parenting Forward Patreon Team - https://www.patreon.com/cindywangbrandt Parenting Forward, the Book - https://amzn.to/3g0LJPn1Little You Are Revolutionary - https://www.beamingbooks.com/store/product/9781506478302/You-Are-Revolutionary *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

Because of a whole host of systemic issues, the parenting space is mostly populated with women. In other words, mothers are the primary parenting influencers. Of course, there are several fantastic dad voices out there. I'm constantly on a mission to seek them out and am always on the lookout for anyone talking about deconstructing toxic masculinity.  Because of this, I was really excited to find out about Bradley Onishi. He hosts a group for people exploring sex, love, and masculinity after purity culture. I love what Bradley does because there are so many more conversations that need to be had on purity culture from different perspectives.  In this episode, we talk about all of this. Bradley helps us understand how to deconstruct purity culture for the boys we are raising. He also answers the question I am constantly getting from all of you parents in the audience: how do I raise my sons without toxic masculinity? Tune in to learn from Bradley's incredible insights. Show Highlights: Bradley's background with evangelicalism and the church. Why adolescence is such a vulnerable time and, therefore, a particularly difficult time to get thrown into purity culture. How purity culture harms both men and women. Why Bradley feels like his conversion to evangelicalism was an immediate conversion to purity culture as well. How purity culture leads to toxic masculinity. Bradley's perspective of deconstructing from a privileged place. How to raise straight white boys in a way that is forging forward equity, undoing oppression, and dismantling toxic masculinity systems. What homosocial enactment is. Why it's dangerous to always separate boys and girls in youth ministry. How to actually let your kids be themselves. Why it's so hard to be a child. Links (affiliates included): Join us at the Parenting Forward Patreon Team - https://www.patreon.com/cindywangbrandt Parenting Forward, the Book - https://amzn.to/3g0LJPn You Are Revolutionary - https://www.beamingbooks.com/store/product/9781506478302/You-Are-Revolutionary *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

This week, I have a great bonus episode for you. Last week, I hosted a two-day webinar on parenting after religious trauma, a topic that you all know is very dear to my heart. We all had such a great time in the webinar and, afterwards, lots of you asked me about a replay. As a result, I thought I'd share the content from the webinar with you here on the podcast. This recording comes from day two of the religious trauma webinar, entitled, “How to Religious Trauma Proof Your Kids.” In the webinar, I shared my religious trauma proof system. I came up with this system after years of listening and learning from my own kids. I also learned countless lessons from the experiences of other parents who have dealt with religious trauma. Tune in to learn more. Show Highlights: What it means to religious trauma proof our children. How to prevent our children from having adverse religious experiences. Why we shouldn't keep our kids in a bubble. The 5 C's of my religious trauma proof system. Why it's important to honor our kids' consent. How to introduce our kids to a diverse community. What treating our kids with compassion can do for them. Why communication is an important religious trauma proofing tool. How to coach our kids in communicating. What co-regulation is. A vision for our children's futures if they become religious trauma proof. Links (affiliates included): Parenting After Religious Trauma (P.A.R.T.) Membership Community - https://cindy-brandt.mykajabi.com/partmembership *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

For most of us, mental health feels like a very individualized issue. However, have you ever stopped to think about how your mental health intersects with the world at large and the social injustice you are seeing in it? Today's guest has put tons of time and effort into learning about the intersection of mental health and social injustice. She is working on the front lines of expanding what's happening in the therapy room to the rest of the world we live in. Her name is Dr. Han Ren. As I shared in previous episodes, I've learned so much from therapists on Instagram and Dr. Han Ren is one of them. Not only is she a psychologist and therapist but she's also a speaker and educator. Her goal is to decolonize mental health. Today we are talking all about this work that she does. Whether you come from a place of privilege and want to learn how to expand your mindset on your mental health or you come from a place of marginalization and need support and healing, you will benefit greatly from this conversation. Tune in to hear from the vibrant Dr. Han Ren. Show Highlights: All about the work Dr. Ren is doing. The kind of clients she works with. Why many children of immigrants grow up to be high-achievers and perfectionists. What pushes these clients to start getting therapy. How to balance healing your mental health and healing the brokenness in the world. How systematic injustice disproportionately hurts the mental health of people of color. The dangers of physical punishment. How many people of color confuse culture with generational trauma. Why we should always believe a person of color if they say an act of violence was about race. How to become a co-conspirator instead of a “savior” when coming from a position of power. The pushback on these things in the mental health space. Links (affiliates included): Dr. Han Ren - https://www.instagram.com/dr.han.ren/ Dr. Joseph Lee - https://mentalhealthiness.com/?fbclid=IwAR0Xu4Qf6ip5c6r8lPODJbsKZw_xBcbBPyJEyNdBaBClkP-Zi02w7oaw1Wc Parenting Forward Conference - https://www.parentingforwardconference.com Join us at the Parenting Forward Patreon Team - https://www.patreon.com/cindywangbrandt Parenting Forward, the Book - https://amzn.to/3g0LJPn  PREORDER You Are Revolutionary - https://www.beamingbooks.com/store/product/9781506478302/You-Are-Revolutionary *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

Today's guest is Dr. Joel Schwartz, a licensed clinical psychologist. Joel co-runs Total Spectrum Counseling with his wife, Brittany Boveé Schwartz, in the San Luis Obispo area of California. He specializes in therapy and testing for the misunderstood and demonstrates this through his unique practice: Total Spectrum Counseling is fully staffed by neurodivergent people with lived experiences of the diagnostic process.  I met Joel in the way that I meet most people these days: online. We connected in a larger Facebook group of therapists. Through our various online interactions, we discovered that we were very like-minded. From there, Joel went on to start his own Facebook group, Neurodiversity Affirmative Therapists, where we've had some very deep and rich conversations as well.  After continuing to connect, I knew I had to have Joel on the show to talk about neurodiversity. I've learned so much from him and I know you will too. Tune in to learn all about this very misunderstood topic of neurodiversity from Dr. Joel Schwartz. Show Highlights: What neurodiversity means. How we define “normal” brain function. How to recognize neurodiversity in your kids. How Joel learned to accept his own neurodiversity. Why the lived human experience should come before doctrines. Gender stereotypes about neurodiversity. What the double empathy problem is. Why it's so important for neurodivergent people to have neurodivergent therapists. How to parent a neurodivergent child well. How neurotypical people can make the world a better place for neurodivergent people. How to parent well as a neurodivergent person. How to embrace your natural coping methods if you're neurodivergent and burnt out. Links (affiliates included): Joel Schwartz, PsyD - https://totalspectrumcounseling.com/joel.html Dr. Joseph Lee - https://mentalhealthiness.com/?fbclid=IwAR0Xu4Qf6ip5c6r8lPODJbsKZw_xBcbBPyJEyNdBaBClkP-Zi02w7oaw1Wc Parenting Forward Conference - https://www.parentingforwardconference.com Join us at the Parenting Forward Patreon Team - https://www.patreon.com/cindywangbrandt Parenting Forward, the Book - https://amzn.to/3g0LJPn  PREORDER You Are Revolutionary - https://www.beamingbooks.com/store/product/9781506478302/You-Are-Revolutionary *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

Anxiety is one of the most common mental health struggles. At least it is for my family. I grew up in an anxious family, my husband struggles with some anxiety, and, as a result, we have two pretty anxious kids. So, in this episode, we are diving into all things anxiety in childhood and parenting. Here to discuss this topic with me is my co-host for this series, Dr. Joseph Lee, along with today's special guest, Dr. Erin Underbrink. Erin is a clinical psychologist who was part of a pediatric treatment group. In our conversation, we talk about how anxiety may present itself in children and the best ways for parents to help them through it. Erin also provides some amazing encouragement for all of us parents who struggle with anxiety right alongside our children.  This is a difficult topic to talk about but that just means it's extremely important that we discuss it. Tune in to hear our conversation and learn all about anxiety and parenting. Show Highlights: What exchanging anxiety means. Current anxiety trends. What exposure and response prevention are and why they are so important. How to help our kids increase their tolerance for anxiety. The difference between competency and control. The biggest challenges for anxious parents trying to raise anxious kids. When to bring your child to therapy. How to support your child with death anxiety. The difference between dealing with anxiety as a kid and as an adult. The problem with trying to fix ourselves. When anxiety is healthy and when it becomes overreactive. Encouragement for those struggling with anxiety about the pandemic. Links (affiliates included): Dr. Erin Underbink - https://www.instagram.com/drerinunderbrink/ Dr. Joseph Lee - https://mentalhealthiness.com/?fbclid=IwAR0Xu4Qf6ip5c6r8lPODJbsKZw_xBcbBPyJEyNdBaBClkP-Zi02w7oaw1Wc Parenting Forward Conference - https://www.parentingforwardconference.com Join us at the Parenting Forward Patreon Team - https://www.patreon.com/cindywangbrandt Parenting Forward, the Book - https://amzn.to/3g0LJPn1Little PREORDER You Are Revolutionary - https://www.beamingbooks.com/store/product/9781506478302/You-Are-Revolutionary *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

Today I am launching a podcast series on how to care for our children's mental health and flourishing. Although I struggle plenty with mental health myself, I am not a licensed expert in the subject. Therefore, I'm bringing my friend, Joseph Lee, onto the show.  Joseph Lee is a psychiatrist and previous guest from episode 43. In his episode, we talked about how conservative Christian parenting does not align very well with child development and modern parenting best practices. Now, he is going to be joining us for this series as the co-host. This episode will be an introductory episode on mental health. We're going to talk about parenting and mental health in general. In the following episodes, we will have various experts come in to discuss how parents can help their children with anxiety and neurodiversity. We'll even have an episode on the intersection of social injustice and mental health.  Even if these are not topics your family is specifically wrestling with, I believe it will be a rich and beneficial series to tune into. Learning about these issues helps us create a kinder world for all the kids who do struggle with mental health. For now, join us for episode one! Show Highlights: Joseph's history with mental health and how his parents addressed it. How growing up in the conservative Christian church can exacerbate mental health issues. The stigma around mental health. The resources that are emerging online for mental health management. How emotions point to unmet needs. How to nurture our kids so that they will eventually develop autonomy. The power of naming our feelings. Why emotions should be seen as neutral. Mental health vs. mental illness. Why therapy is so critical in the stressful world we live in. When parents should turn to mental health professionals. Why Joseph doesn't do biblical counseling. How the pandemic exposed social inequalities. Links (affiliates included): Dr. Joseph Lee - https://mentalhealthiness.com/?fbclid=IwAR0Xu4Qf6ip5c6r8lPODJbsKZw_xBcbBPyJEyNdBaBClkP-Zi02w7oaw1Wc Parenting Forward Conference - https://www.parentingforwardconference.com Join us at the Parenting Forward Patreon Team - https://www.patreon.com/cindywangbrandt Parenting Forward, the Book - https://amzn.to/3g0LJPn PREORDER You Are Revolutionary - https://www.beamingbooks.com/store/product/9781506478302/You-Are-Revolutionary *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

By now you should know that the goal of this podcast is to help you raise conscious citizens. What you may not know is how to actually do that. Raising conscious citizens sounds like a lot of work. Not only do we have to re-parent ourselves with consciousness but we then have to find the exact right words to say to our kids regarding citizenship and justice. If this is something you struggle with, I have a fantastic gift for you today. Shelby Kretz, the founder of Little Justice Leaders, is joining us in this episode.  Little Justice Leaders is a subscription box company that acts as a tool and resource for parents and teachers who are doing their best to raise conscious citizens. Every month you can get a box on a different social justice theme with everything you need to introduce that topic to children. Tune in to hear more from Shelby about her company and how to have conversations about current events and other social issues with your kids. Show Highlights: How Shelby came to found Little Justice Leaders. The biggest challenges parents and teachers have when talking to kids about justice issues. Why parents and teachers need to take the pressure off themselves. How talking with our kids about social justice makes them more resilient. How to make justice issues relevant to kids. The importance of reminding your kids that they're safe. How to figure out which topics to bring up with your kids. How Shelby explains complex social justice issues in an age-appropriate way but without watering them down. What scaffolding is and how to utilize it. Links (affiliates included): Little Justice Leaders - https://littlejusticeleaders.com Parenting Forward Conference - https://www.parentingforwardconference.com Join us at the Parenting Forward Patreon Team - https://www.patreon.com/cindywangbrandt Parenting Forward, the Book - https://amzn.to/3g0LJPn1Little PREORDER You Are Revolutionary - https://www.beamingbooks.com/store/product/9781506478302/You-Are-Revolutionary *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

A few weeks ago I sent out a newsletter called “Disorganized Religion.” It was a product of my reflection on the idea that many who have decided to leave the church still crave a dedicated time and space to explore the bigger questions of life and existence and to validate their children's innate spiritual questions. They're happy with their decision to leave the church but miss the neatly packaged aspect of it: church on Sunday, a mid-week Bible study, and Sunday School and youth group for the kids. In response, one reader suggested a resource called Uplift. I was so intrigued by it that I decided to invite the founder onto the show. Jon Ogden is not only the founder of Uplift but the author of When Mormons Doubt.  After he wrote his book, he still had many other questions around what the ideas within the book would look like week to week and how to raise kids with a spiritual foundation that wasn't tied to any dogma or specific religion.  This led Jon to create Uplift. Today he is joining us to tell us more about this resource and his journey toward shifting his faith. Show Highlights: Jon's experience leaving the Mormon church. Why everyone is spiritual. What wisdom literature from all religions can teach us. The danger of dictating our kids' spiritual journeys. What healthy spirituality looks like to Jon. Why spirituality should be democratic, not dogmatic. The services and curriculum Uplift offers. Why it's important to pay attention to our development stages even in adulthood. How to honor both our kids' and our developmental stages. The power of sharing our family stories. The healthy balance of order and chaos. Links (affiliates included): Disorganized Religion Email - https://mailchi.mp/8429ea9a0ac2/disorganized-religion Uplift - https://upliftkids.org Parenting After Deconstruction - https://www.parentingforwardconference.com/parenting-after-deconstruction Parenting Forward Conference - https://www.parentingforwardconference.com Join us at the Parenting Forward Patreon Team - https://www.patreon.com/cindywangbrandt Parenting Forward, the Book - https://amzn.to/3g0LJPn1 PREORDER You Are Revolutionary - https://www.beamingbooks.com/store/product/9781506478302/You-Are-Revolutionary *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

Recently, I've been hearing a lot about one certain Tik Toker. Because I hang out in parenting spaces a lot, I hear about cool new voices and parenting influencers pretty quickly.  In this case, my community has been raving about how much they love this Tik Toker. I've started seeing her videos all over the place and they're truly amazing. Her name is Destini Ann. Destini and I met a couple of weeks ago and when we did I soon realized that she hadn't been around as long as I'd thought. She blew up on Tik Tok semi-recently after just a couple of her videos went viral. Destini makes videos where she coaches parents and offers them her experience from a nonjudgemental place. Today we are discussing some of those videos together and what her journey of parenting on Tik Tok has been like so far. Show Highlights: Why our toddlers hitting us can be triggering. How to train yourself out of that trigger reaction. Why acceptance is so important as a parent. Why Destini uses scripts in her Tik Toks. The balance between displaying our highlight reel and our real-life moments on social media. What our kids can teach us about freedom. How to express our needs to our kids without blaming them. Destini's process of moving away from permissive parenting. How she navigates positive parenting as a black woman. The importance of providing a safe space for black parents. Links (affiliates included): Destini Ann's Tik Tok - https://www.tiktok.com/@destini.ann?lang=en&is_copy_url=1&is_from_webapp=v1 Parenting Forward Conference - https://www.parentingforwardconference.com Join us at the Parenting Forward Patreon Team - https://www.patreon.com/cindywangbrandt Parenting Forward, the Book - https://amzn.to/3g0LJPn1 PREORDER You Are Revolutionary - https://www.beamingbooks.com/store/product/9781506478302/You-Are-Revolutionary *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

We've all read those Christian books that are full of flowery statements. The writing is beautiful but it has no substance to it. On top of that, it's pretty stuffy too. It can seem very academic, old, and quite frankly boring. Diana Butler Bass, however, is a Christian author whose writing falls right into the sweet spot of not fluffy and not stuffy. I aim for that same sweet spot so she has always been a writing inspiration for me. Diana is here today to talk about her newest book Freeing Jesus: Rediscovering Jesus as Friend, Teacher, Savior, Lord, Way, and Presence. I love that subtitle because it describes exactly what the book is all about. Even more than Diana's other books, I found Freeing Jesus to be deeply personal and relevant to Parenting Forward.  In the book and in today's episode we discuss how the theological insights of Diana's childhood reshaped her life and how important that is. Join us to hear more. Show Highlights: How to respond when your kids ask hard theological questions. Diana's experience with church growing up. Why Jesus was so open and accepting of children. What the Pelagianism view of original sin is. How the story of creation and Adam and Eve may display that view. How to help our kids make better choices through love. The various definitions of salvation Diana mentions in her book. Why she views being saved as coming home. How writing her book led her to self-forgiveness. Links (affiliates included): Freeing Jesus by Diana Butler Bass - https://dianabutlerbass.com/books/freeing-jesus/ Parenting Forward Conference Sessions - https://www.parentingforwardconference.com/2020-sessions Join us at the Parenting Forward Patreon Team - https://www.patreon.com/cindywangbrandt Parenting Forward, the Book - https://amzn.to/3g0LJPn1 PREORDER You Are Revolutionary - https://www.beamingbooks.com/store/product/9781506478302/You-Are-Revolutionary *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

If you grew up evangelical, the thought of youth ministry is probably very triggering. It may bring back memories of shame and religiosity. Adolescence is a very tender time of our lives and that is exactly when a lot of the toxicity of fundamentalism was solidified. More likely than not, we heard rhetoric like, “Gay is sinful” and, “Love the sinner, hate the sin” all of the time. Now, imagine what it would be like to have a youth ministry that is LGBTQ inclusive. This is the very thing that today’s guest is invested in and passionate about. Ross Murray is the founder of The Naming Project and the author of Made, Known, Loved: Developing LGBTQ Inclusive Youth Ministry. He is a strong advocate for LGBTQ inclusiveness in churches around the world. In this episode, Ross and I discuss his background, where his passion for this kind of advocacy arose, what he is doing now to support LGBTQ kids, and how you can be a part of it.  Show Highlights: Ross’s experience with the church and ministry throughout childhood and young adulthood. How The Naming Project came to be. How coming out later in life makes people relive their adolescence. What Ross’s camps are like. The connection between kids’ spirituality and sexuality. How Ross balanaces his religion and his promotion of LGBTQ inclusiveness. What his book is about. How they figure out sleeping arrangements at his camps. Why privacy doesn’t have to mean shameful. Why youth ministries should stop using cutesy phrases and just say the hard things. Links (affiliates included): Made, Known, Loved - https://www.madeknownloved.org The Naming Project - https://www.thenamingproject.org Parenting Forward Conference Sessions - https://www.parentingforwardconference.com/2020-sessions Join us at the Parenting Forward Patreon Team - https://www.patreon.com/cindywangbrandt Parenting Forward, the Book - https://amzn.to/3g0LJPn1 PREORDER You Are Revolutionary - https://www.beamingbooks.com/store/product/9781506478302/You-Are-Revolutionary *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

If we want to address and overcome all of the “isms” in our world, we have to start with the “ism” we have against our children. We can never help our kids understand the danger of racism, ableism, and sexism if we overlook ageism and the effects it has on them. This can feel extremely overwhelming. Oftentimes we don’t even know the prejudices we have in our own hearts against children. So where do we start in dismantling it in society? One of my favorite resources for revealing the blind spots we have when it comes to anti-child sentiments in our country is today’s guest, Robin Einzig. Robin works with Visible Child, a child development consulting firm that supports parents, schools, and organizations in achieving their goals and promoting optimal development and an atmosphere of collaboration and respect. You all know that here at Parenting Forward one of our highest values is giving our children autonomy. Robin aligns perfectly with this value. Tune in to hear our incredible conversation. Show Highlights: A new perspective on venting about the hardships of parenthood. Why it’s important to remember that young kids have nowhere to vent. Why parents need to be careful about complaining about their kids online. How we make parenting harder than it needs to be. Parenting is hard work but that doesn’t mean it’s bad. What cultural fetishism is and how to avoid it as a parent. Why we should trust our kids to choose their friends. How to move closer to a semblance of power equality with our children. How to break the toxic cycle of religious control. Why reclaiming your own agency will help your kids. Links (affiliates included): Robin Einzig Visible Child - https://www.facebook.com/visiblechildinc Visible Child: Respectful/Mindful Parenting - https://www.facebook.com/groups/294015847465652 Visible Child: Tweens & Teens - https://www.facebook.com/groups/826189307440925 Robin’s Website: https://visiblechild.com Parenting Forward Conference Sessions - https://www.parentingforwardconference.com/2020-sessions Join us at the Parenting Forward Patreon Team - https://www.patreon.com/cindywangbrandt Parenting Forward, the Book - https://amzn.to/3g0LJPn1 PREORDER You Are Revolutionary - https://www.beamingbooks.com/store/product/9781506478302/You-Are-Revolutionary *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

More than anything, parenting is about creating and changing culture. We just happen to do so one child at a time. As we extend love, compassion, and justice towards our children, they are formed into members of society who extend the same to others. They challenge the harmful status quo of the world and, together, we build a better future. I recently discovered an organization that is fully on board with this concept and working to make it a reality every day. They are called Cultures of Dignity. Today, we have the director of their Owning Up Program, Carrie Goldstein, joining us. Carrie is sharing more about what they do over at Cultures of Dignity and how we can be a part of it. If you want to create cultures of dignity with and for your children, don’t miss this episode! Show Highlights: How Cultures of Dignity works with parents, educators, and young people to help them navigate all of the social challenges of young adulthood.  The challenges Carrie has encountered in working with youth. Why they have kids in their editorial council. When kids are objects, when they’re recipients, and when they’re resources. How to help your children build socio-emotional skills. The difference between consuming information and listening. How to set boundaries without making your child feel misunderstood. What emotional granularity is and what its ultimate goal is. Links (affiliates included): Cultures of Dignity — https://culturesofdignity.com Tiny Guides (this is my affiliate link, thanks for supporting this podcast!)— https://store.culturesofdignity.com/all-of-the-tiny-guides/vxy1k Parenting Forward Conference Sessions - https://www.parentingforwardconference.com/2020-sessions Join us at the Parenting Forward Patreon Team - https://www.patreon.com/cindywangbrandt Parenting Forward, the Book - https://amzn.to/3g0LJPn *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

I’ve often joked that Parenting Forward is a social justice parenting manual. However, I wish The Sandbox Revolution had existed before I wrote it. That book is even more like a social justice parenting manual.  This week I am talking with its author, Lydia Wylie-Kellermann. She was raised in a family where she was heavily involved in activism and fighting against injustice from a very young age. This taught her to value community and justice work and shaped the woman she became.  In this episode, we talk all about her book and the efforts she is putting in towards social justice. Tune in to learn all about what a difference it can make to raise your kids for a just world. Show Highlights: Lydia’s experience being raised by activist parents. How having a foundation of faith grounded in justice and liberation impacted her life. What it was like losing her mom at the age of 19. The 3 sections of her book. Why she is inspired by parents who are present with their kids. How to empower our kids to fight for justice. Why sensitive kids inspire me so much. The new and continuing challenges Lydia sees in our world since she wrote her book.  Links (affiliates included): The Sandbox Revolution: Raising Kids for a Just World - https://thesandboxrevolution.com Geez Magazine - https://geezmagazine.org Parenting Forward Conference Sessions - https://www.parentingforwardconference.com/2020-sessions Join us at the Parenting Forward Patreon Team - https://www.patreon.com/cindywangbrandt Parenting Forward, the Book - https://amzn.to/3g0LJPn *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

I imagine many of my listeners are regulars at pride parades. If that’s you, you’ve probably seen the moms who offer free hugs to LGBTQ kids who may not have a supportive or loving family. There is something so simple and yet so profound about that act of kindness. It communicates a love that is basic to human dignity but often denied to LGBTQ kids. The idea behind those free hugs comes from today’s guest, Sara Cunningham. She is the founder of the nonprofit, Free Mom Hugs. Sara comes from a faith tradition, so when her own son came out as gay, she really struggled. In this episode, we’re discussing her journey from that point to her current place of acceptance and affirmation of her son. Show Highlights: The experiences Sara went through when her son came out. How she has rebuilt trust with her son. What drove her to change her perspective on the LGBTQ+ community. How our culture and legal system have progressed over the years. What Sara’s mission with Free Mom Hugs is. What it is like for Sara to work with secular gay rights groups as a woman of faith. Why love and education are the keys to a better understanding of the LGBTQ+ community. The best parenting practices of affirmation and love. Links (affiliates included): Free Mom Hugs - https://freemomhugs.org Parenting Forward Conference Sessions - https://www.parentingforwardconference.com/2020-sessions Join us at the Parenting Forward Patreon Team - https://www.patreon.com/cindywangbrandt Parenting Forward, the Book - https://amzn.to/3g0LJPn Additional Resources: How We Sleep At Night: A Mother’s Memoir by Sara Cunningham: https://www.amazon.com/How-We-Sleep-At-Night/dp/1499725388 PFLAG-National: www.pflag.org QCF - Queer Christian Fellowship: www.qchristian.org TRP - The Reformation Project: www.reformation.org Geeky Justin - on faith, culture, and nuance: www.geekyjustin.com Canyonwalker Connections: www.canyonwalkerconnections.com Serendipitydodah - Home of the Real Mama Bears: www.realmamabears.org *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

What are schools really teaching our kids? Are they educating them on information that is actually relevant to our world right now? Most of our schools just aren’t teaching our kids things like how to vote and make wise decisions about policies. Those topics usually aren’t even brought up. That’s why I am so excited to talk with Ashley Berner this week. Ashley is the Director of the John Hopkins Institute for Education Policy. In this position, she helps make the connection between what happens in schools to how prepared students are to be active citizens of a democratic society. In this episode, we are discussing the role parents have in preparing our kids for that kind of conscious citizenship. Tune in to hear some amazing insights from Ashley. Show Highlights: How Ashley defines civics. The 4 adult capacities of an informed citizen. The benefits of watching political speeches and debates with our children and critiquing what we see. Why we should explain our own views and opposing views to our children. How to get your kids engaged in civics if you’re not a political family. The power of explaining the rationale behind our perspectives. Practical things we can do to give our kids a civics education. The importance of engaging in and talking about the suffering in the world with your kids. How to raise your kids to discern between facts and conspiracy theories. Links (affiliates included): Some resources for parents: “Parent Resource: Civics at Home.” Baltimore, MD: Johns Hopkins Institute for Education Policy, April 22, 2020.  “In a Polarized America, What Can We Do about Civil Disagreement?” Brookings (blog), April 10, 2020.  “Partisanship and American Education.” Flypaper at the Thomas B. Fordham Institute(blog), October 15, 2020.  “An Informed Citizenry.” Johns Hopkins University: The Hub(blog), October 30, 2020.  Parenting Forward Conference Sessions - https://www.parentingforwardconference.com/2020-sessions Join us at the Parenting Forward Patreon Team - https://www.patreon.com/cindywangbrandt Parenting Forward, the Book - https://amzn.to/3g0LJPn *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

Storytelling is a key element of the human spirit. As human beings, we respond to stories with both our emotions and our minds. Specifically, when we hear the stories of those who are different from us, we are forever changed.  In our effort to raise conscious citizens, this should be one of our primary goals. We must be dedicated to providing opportunities for our kids to engage with diverse people groups and to hear their diverse stories. This is one way we can get them engaged in politics--a word that might not mean what you’ve always thought it means. Dr. Sangita Shresthova is the Director of Research at the University of Southern California. I know her as the author of the book By Any Media Necessary: The New Youth Activism. Sangita has such an interesting story and incredible expertise on this area of raising conscious citizens, especially when it comes to storytelling. Tune in to hear all about her background and perspective on youth’s participation in politics.   Show Highlights: How Sangita’s childhood led her to observe people and look for human connections. How she used dance to reconcile all the different parts of her life. What brought her to the US and to her job at USC. What her research group, Civic Paths, does. Young people’s history of getting engaged in politics. The various and nuanced categories of politics. How not allowing our kids to have any say in decisions prevents them from being empowered. How to explain civic participation to our kids so that they can see how it’s all connected.  The political engagement that occurs in pop culture and media. How youth participation in new cultural trends is affecting their civic life. How parents can support the intergenerational activism movement.  The importance of listening to and learning from marginalized people’s stories. Tips for helping your kids become good listeners.   Links (affiliates included): The Civic Imagination Project - https://www.civicimaginationproject.org/toolkit Parenting Forward Conference Sessions - https://www.parentingforwardconference.com/2020-sessions Join us at the Parenting Forward Patreon Team - https://www.patreon.com/cindywangbrandt Parenting Forward, the Book - https://amzn.to/3g0LJPn *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

Children in America have been largely boxed out from politics. They have missed out on that sense of political agency that our culture affords to adults. It’s not that they don’t care; they aren’t in a state of apathy but are experiencing disconnect.  How can we empower our kids to shift from a passive acceptance of politics to active navigation of it?  Lauren Duca is an award-winning journalist who speaks out on this very topic. She used to work at Teen Vogue and is the author of the book How to Start a Revolution: Young People and the Future of American Politics. Lauren has become a voice for young people--young women in particular. She spoke at my conference last year on the political awakening she had when Trump was elected in 2016. She also taught how we can raise conscious citizens who have political agency. It was an amazing talk that everyone at the conference loved, so I am sharing it with all of you today. Show Highlights: What a political awakening is. The research Lauren did to uncover the political convictions of American youth. Why a sense of agency is more important than knowledge. How to create a sense of agency for our kids. How to go on a media diet. Becoming an expert on one topic that interests you.  The foundation of forming a political opinion. Different ways to raise your voice. How to navigate conversations with those who disagree with you. How to make democracy a daily habit in your life. Links (affiliates included): Parenting Forward Conference Sessions - https://www.parentingforwardconference.com/2020-sessions How to Start a Revolution, by Lauren Duca - https://www.amazon.com/How-Start-Revolution-American-Politics-ebook/dp/B07QYP6KVY/ref=tmm_kin_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr= Join us at the Parenting Forward Patreon Team - https://www.patreon.com/cindywangbrandt Parenting Forward, the Book - https://amzn.to/3g0LJPn *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

If the pandemic and the Trump-era taught me anything, it’s that we need to be conscious citizens. In fact, we can’t afford to be unconscious. Democracy and the assurance of justice require us to remain woke, vigilant, and engaged in the way our society runs itself. Because of this, parenting includes a responsibility to raise our kids to be conscious citizens, too. Because I’ve been thinking through this concept of kids and activism so much lately, I decided to put it all down into a book. After talking to all you parents about your children for so long, I’m thrilled to have the opportunity to speak directly to the kids. In this episode, I’m talking all about the book with my illustrator, Lynnor Bontigao. This was a collaboration effort, with Lynnor being just as, if not more, important to the content of the story as I was. Tune in to hear the story behind You Are Revolutionary and the process of publishing it. Show Highlights: How a passion for advocating for the rights of kids to make an impact on policy and a short poem inspired me to write a children’s book. Lynnor’s background in drawing. Her experience working as a programmer for 15 years. How she became an illustrator through social media. The process she goes through when drawing for her followers or herself versus the process she goes through when drawing for someone else’s work. Listening to and nurturing the creative voice inside of us. Why Lynnor chose to illustrate an Asian kid with freckles for the book cover. How she balances logic and creativity when she’s drawing. The joy of working on children’s books. How we have both been impacted by marginalization and hoped for better representation. Links (affiliates included): Preorder YOU ARE REVOLUTIONARY here: https://www.beamingbooks.com/store/product/9781506478302/You-Are-Revolutionary Lynnor’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/lbontigao/ Parenting After Purity Culture Conference - https://www.parentingforwardconference.com Join us at the Parenting Forward Patreon Team - https://www.patreon.com/cindywangbrandt Parenting Forward, the Book - https://amzn.to/3g0LJPn *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

So many of us who grew up in evangelicalism just wanted to be good. We lived in fear of not being good and therefore losing God’s love.  This was even more prominent for those of us who are natural storytellers. Not only do we experience religious trauma but we let it embed deeply into the story of our lives. We allow it to enter deep recesses of our imagination which are so keen to accepting stories. Francesca Cavallo is one such storyteller. She was on the podcast a while back and, when she was, I immediately recognized that we were kindred spirits. Francesca has been through significant spiritual trauma that has shaped her own story. Through her writing, she is now pioneering a path in children’s publishing that is bold and revolutionary. Tune in to hear a conversation Francesca and I had on her Instagram Live where we talked about Parenting Forward, cultivating healthy spirituality in our children, and how toxic religious teachings have taken their toll on dreamers everywhere. Show Highlights: The abusive spiritual environment in which I grew up. How I came to realize that I wanted to spend my life talking about parenting and religious trauma. Francesca’s religious experience in childhood and how it shaped her. How to nurture spirituality in our children without passing on religious trauma. Why it’s important to talk about big issues with our children and allow them to participate in civil activities. Spiritual child protection policies we can use when we talk to our kids about spirituality. The importance of teaching our kids another spiritual language. How to figure out which spiritual practices speak to your unique child. Why we should give our kids the choice to have their own ideas about religion. How to accept and learn from our children’s versions of reality. What to do if you don’t believe but don’t want to take that option away from your kids. Links (affiliates included): Francesca’s website: https://www.undercats.com Previous episode with Francesca: https://cindywangbrandt.com/podcast/episode-79-stories-from-the-rebel-girl-w-francesca-cavallo/ Parenting After Purity Culture Conference - https://www.parentingforwardconference.com Join us at the Parenting Forward Patreon Team - https://www.patreon.com/cindywangbrandt Parenting Forward, the Book - https://amzn.to/3g0LJPn *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

Each of us must understand that they will go through hard things in life. However, we must also never fall into despair or overwhelming anxiety. That is where resilience comes in. Being resilient is the ability to believe that we can go through hard things and, though we may be changed by them, still survive. Today, I brought Amelia Richardson Dress onto the show to talk more about resilience. She is the author of the brand new book, The Hopeful Family: Raising Resilient Children in Uncertain Times. Amelia understands the importance of being resilient and passing that onto our children. If you are a parent needing guidance in this area, you will benefit greatly from what Amelia shares. Tune in!   Show Highlights: Amelia’s definition of resilience. The importance of grief and hope within resilience. Why it is so important to have interfaith interactions. The practice that was hardest for Amelia to implement and how she grew in it. How to help our kids learn intentional, real rest. Life hacks for implementing spiritual practices. How naming our routines and shifting them when we need to helps us with our spiritual practices. How to grow our resilience so we can more easily let our kids go through hard things. Thinking about parenting as hospitality. How humor can be a spiritual practice. Why we sometimes have to embrace the dark realities of life. Links (affiliates included): Amelia’s website, The Hopeful Family: Raising Resilient Children in Uncertain Times - http://www.ameliadress.com  Parenting After Purity Culture Conference - https://www.parentingforwardconference.com Join us at the Parenting Forward Patreon Team - https://www.patreon.com/cindywangbrandt Parenting Forward, the Book - https://amzn.to/3g0LJPn *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

Over the summer, I posted a Twitter thread about recovering from purity culture. I wasn’t specifically addressing the parenting audience, but it easily applies and is very important to the parenting conversation. Just like how the sex talk should not be a one-time conversation with our kids, recovery requires ongoing conversations.  So, for our last episode in this January series on sex, sexuality, and purity culture, I wanted to bring back the episode where I expanded upon that Twitter thread. There are so many prerequisites for recovery before a good, healthy sex talk can happen. These are the very issues I’m delving into today. If you were raised in purity culture or simply want to learn from the perspective of those who were, tune in. You’ll hear a thorough discussion on the fears and confusion from which those of us recovering from purity culture must be healed in order to be the best parents we can be. Show Highlights: What boundaries are and how to develop and stick to them. How to raise kids to know what they like and don’t like. The importance of enjoying pleasure for its own sake. The fear tactic of the slippery slope. Discerning the difference between privacy and secrecy. Moving beyond literal thinking into nuanced thinking. Links (affiliates included): Parenting After Purity Culture Conference - https://www.parentingforwardconference.com Join us at the Parenting Forward Patreon Team - https://www.patreon.com/cindywangbrandt Parenting Forward, the Book - https://amzn.to/3g0LJPn *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

Talking openly about sex is very new to me. I openly share about religion and parenting but have little experience sharing about my sex life. It feels very private so it’s hard to be vulnerable in that way. A lot of parents experience this same issue in trying to raise their own kids with healthy sexuality. This week’s guest, Kim Cavill, struggled through the lack of sex education as a child and is now passionate about keeping other kids from going through what she did. Kim started teaching sexual education for people with disabilities and those who worked with them in Australia. She now hosts the podcast Six Minute Sex Ed. On her podcast, she gives children the information and tools they need to not be as vulnerable to sexual trauma and abuse. Tune in to hear Kim and I discuss sex ed and how to discuss sexuality honestly. Show Highlights: Kim’s story and her experience with religious trauma. How to balance the privacy of our sex lives with the need to make those conversations open and public. Why there is such a lack of sex ed in the home. Research from the Kinsey Institute on our sexual identifications and behavior. Why parents need to think of themselves more as a mentor to their kids than a teacher. How to work through our own triggers when we talk to our kids about sex. How to talk about sex-positivity in a sex-negative culture. Why education isn’t a switch you can turn off and on. How to stop carrying others’ trauma. What our kids really want to hear from us about sex. Links (affiliates included): Six Minute Sex Ed - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/six-minute-sex-ed/id1443243552 Parenting After Purity Culture Conference - https://www.parentingforwardconference.com Join us at the Parenting Forward Patreon Team - https://www.patreon.com/cindywangbrandt Parenting Forward, the Book - https://amzn.to/3g0LJPn *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

All month in January, we’re talking about purity culture. I want to hold various discussions on sex to ramp up the Parenting After Purity Culture conference happening in February.  Today, I’m so excited to be talking to Brena Marie Davies about the topic. Brenda is the founder of the popular YouTube channel, God Is Grey, as well as the author of On Her Knees: Memoir of a Prayerful Jezebel.  Brenda’s book tells the story of her years growing up as a conservative Christian. Of course, with that upbringing came purity culture. In this episode, Brenda shares some of that story. She had done the amazing work of redeeming some of the toxicity from that purity culture upbringing and now helps others understand God. Tune in to hear all about her faith history, how she’s shifted in her faith, and detoxing from purity culture.  Show Highlights: Brenda’s deconstruction journey. How her view of God has changed and how that parallels her detox from purity culture. How purity culture affects our health and wellbeing in every way. Why the idea of our sexuality needs to be expanded. Allowing ourselves to experience pleasure and increase our sensualities. How purity culture still affects Brenda and how she overcomes those narratives that still creep up on her. How to teach our kids to know how to check in with their bodies. The danger of the purity culture stigma. How to talk about sex out of love and a desire for health instead of out of fear. Links (affiliates included): Brenda’s website: https://www.godisgrey.com On Her Knees: Memoir of a Prayerful Jezebel: https://amzn.to/359YljS Parenting After Purity Culture Conference - https://www.parentingforwardconference.com Join us at the Parenting Forward Patreon Team - https://www.patreon.com/cindywangbrandt Parenting Forward, the Book - https://amzn.to/3g0LJPn *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

All throughout the month of January, we’re going to be revisiting the topic of purity culture in preparation for our upcoming Parenting After Purity Culture conference. We’ll talk about what purity culture is and how it relates to parenting.    We’re also going to bring back some archived episodes on the topic, as well as new interviews with experts whose work centers around the recovery from purity culture and sex-positive parenting. My hope and purpose, as always, is to help you break toxic cycles and move toward health and wholeness for your kids and all kids of the coming generations.   In today’s episode, we’re revisiting an episode with Linda Kay Klein. She is the author of the book Pure: Inside The Evangelical Movement that Shamed a Generation of Young Women and How I Broke Free. Linda is also going to be a featured speaker at the conference, so I can’t wait for you all to hear from her. Tune in to hear all about the damaging effects of purity culture and Linda’s personal experience with it.    Show Highlights: Linda’s working definition of purity culture. How purity culture affected every area of her life. Why offering our children as many choices as possible is so important. How evangelicalism twisted young women’s identity to be all about sex. How to set our children up for healthier sexuality by offering actual sex conversations, not just purity conversations. How to talk about sex without shame. How purity culture has set young women up to be more vulnerable to sexual predators. How the message of purity culture was delivered differently and equally to boys and girls. Advice for those climbing out of the purity culture world but still partially in that space.   Links (affiliates included): Parenting After Purity Culture Conference - https://www.parentingforwardconference.com Join us at the Parenting Forward Patreon Team - https://www.patreon.com/cindywangbrandt Parenting Forward, the Book - https://amzn.to/3g0LJPn   *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

Many adults believe that kids don’t have much to contribute to society. It’s very common to brush them aside as “not quite people yet.” This is one of the biggest reasons I started this podcast. I want to push against this belief and advocate for the rights of children. In this episode, I’m talking with a friend who wholeheartedly agrees. Anna Skates has a new endeavor called Otterly, whose mission aligns perfectly with our mission here at Parenting Forward. They also believe that kids have great things to contribute and that they are very important to this world. We are kindred spirits is our desire to advocate for kids to be treated as full human beings, just as they are.  Anna has worked with kids in various capacities. I’ve loved following her journey and have been so moved by her persistence to ensure children are treated with justice. Tune in to hear more about Otterly and how to treat kids as equals. Show Highlights: The story behind Anna’s passion to advocate for kids’ flourishing. How she responds to people who argue that we must treat kids differently than adults. Why say that you don’t like kids is wrong. How understanding developmental stages helps us see children as full people. Who Anna wants to serve with Otterly and how. Links (affiliates included): Anna’s Website - https://www.otter.ly Early Learners Box - https://www.otter.ly/box Parenting After Purity Culture Conference - https://www.parentingforwardconference.com Join us at the Parenting Forward Patreon Team - https://www.patreon.com/cindywangbrandt Parenting Forward, the Book - https://amzn.to/3g0LJPn *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

My guest today is Yolanda Williams from Parenting Decolonized. Her mission is to help black parents raise emotionally, spiritually, and intellectually liberated kids. She does this by addressing parenting from a racial perspective, considering the trauma black parents hold within their DNA. She teaches them how that history plays into how they parent today. Yolanda is also a single mom of a toddler, who may make a guest appearance on the show today. Everything Yolanda does and stands for is totally up our alley here at Parenting Forward. So tune in to hear the amazing message she has to share with all of us. Show Highlights: Why Yolanda has branded her work “Parenting Decolonized.” What it means to raise kids with a liberated mindset. How Yolanda deals with her own child leaving their conscious home and entering an unconscious world. What the past summer was like for her and her family. Why it’s so important to teach our kids emotional resilience and when we should start doing so. How those of us who aren’t black can help support what Yolanda is doing. What decolonizing has to do with spirituality. All about Yolanda’s upcoming parenting conference. Links (affiliates included): Parenting After Purity Culture Conference - https://www.parentingforwardconference.com Parenting Decolonized website - https://www.parentingdecolonized.com Join us at the Parenting Forward Patreon Team - https://www.patreon.com/cindywangbrandt Parenting Forward, the Book - https://amzn.to/3g0LJPn *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

We’re back with another special holiday episode of Parenting Forward! However, instead of doing something festive, we’re going to be talking about religious trauma again. I know that holidays are the worst when we have family issues to deal with. It’s only worse when we have religious family issues. That is why I brought on today’s guests, Brian Peck and Laura Anderson. Brian and Laura are religious therapists with the Religious Trauma Institute. They have been on the show for multiple episodes in the past and I am so excited to get to bring them back on. In this episode, we are addressing some of the issues people and parents, in particular, have during the holiday season if they are survivors of religious trauma. If you struggle with this yourself or know someone who does, tune in to hear how to navigate the holidays well. Show Highlights: Why having a trauma response to religion is an issue especially during the holidays. How to plan for and respond to being asked to pray. How to make sure our kids feel free to be their authentic selves. The religious trauma that can come with Santa. How to celebrate and talk about Santa in a way that feels safe to you. Christmas music and how to manage its triggers. How to reinvent and reclaim holiday traditions for you and your family. Links (affiliates included): Parenting After Purity Culture Conference REGISTER FOR FREE - https://www.parentingforwardconference.com Parenting After Religious Trauma Series - https://cindywangbrandt.com/podcast/episode-63-parenting-after-religious-trauma-series-part-1-w-brian-peck-laura-anderson/ Religious Trauma Institute – https://www.religioustraumainstitute.com ReligiousTrama Institute Workshop – www.workshop.religioustramainstitute.com Religious Trauma Institute Facebook Page –https://www.facebook.com/religioustraumainstitute/ Religious Trauma Institute Instagram –https://www.instagram.com/religioustraumainstitute/ Join us at the Parenting Forward Patreon Team - https://www.patreon.com/cindywangbrandt Parenting Forward, the Book - https://amzn.to/3g0LJPn *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

Many of us, particularly those of us who grew up in conservative religious spaces, were taught unhealthy stories about what it meant to be a man. Some of them were generally toxic while some had added religious flavors. While many of us have rejected these teachings in our heads, we still struggle with internalized misogyny and toxic masculinity. This matters because, if we aren’t intentional and conscious about breaking those cycles, we may pass them onto our children.   Eric Eztli is on a mission to reimagine masculinity. He created the Instagram account Bloom Homie with a few friends several years ago. They focus on studying the patriarchal norms of this age and how they impact both men and women.  Eric is also a father who is thinking about all the ways he wants to guide his son in developing his own manhood. In this episode, we’re talking more about Bloom Homie as well as how Eric is helping society reimagine what it means to be a man in 2020.   Show Highlights: More about Eric and his work at Bloom Homie. How boys are taught to externalize pain. How we can all work together to have a healthier approach to pain in our lives. How Eric combats the toxic masculinity instincts from his childhood. His obstacles to forming friendships with other boys in childhood. What it’s been like for him to form intimate relationships with other men. Expanding the conversation around boundaries to all humans. Eric’s definition of healthy masculinity.   Links (affiliates included): Bloom Homie - https://www.instagram.com/bloomhomie/?hl=en Eric Eztli - https://www.instagram.com/ericeztli/?hl=en The Macho Paradox by Jackson Katz - https://amzn.to/3fZNpcZ Join us at the Parenting Forward Patreon Team - https://www.patreon.com/cindywangbrandt Parenting Forward, the Book - https://amzn.to/3g0LJPn *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com 

You can tell a lot about people by their reaction to the Bible. That is what makes it so interesting as a sociological phenomenon. There are secular people who are largely ignorant of the Bible. Then there is the large spectrum of ways Christians engage with the Bible, from the literal inerrant folks to the infallible and liberal interpretations. My guest today understands the varied kind of baggage that the Bible can carry for people. Pete Enns is a Bible scholar, a professor, the author of several amazing books about the Bible, and the host of the popular podcast The Bible for Normal People. I had the amazing honor of being a guest on that show back in August. In this episode, we are discussing how to teach about and discuss the Bible with our kids.   Show Highlights: Pete’s personal relationship with the Bible. Whether or not the Bible is appropriate for children. How children were viewed in Bible times. Age-appropriate ways to teach the context of Bible stories. Irresponsible ways of sharing the Bible with children. What needs to change in regards to our attitude about children. How understanding that you want to give your children power changes your approach to the Bible. Why biblical literacy is important even for secular people. How to raise our kids with resilience to prepare them for those who will contradict the way they learn the Bible.   Links (affiliates included): My episode on The Bible for Normal People - https://peteenns.com/interview-with-cindy-wang-brandt-raising-children-in-the-faith/ Pete Enns website - https://peteenns.com Pete’s Bible Curriculum for kids - https://amzn.to/2J0QBbV Join us at the Parenting Forward Patreon Team -https://www.patreon.com/cindywangbrandt Parenting Forward, the Book - https://amzn.to/3g0LJPn   EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com 

Voices of hate and bigotry have been amplified in our country. This proves that they exist to be amplified. They won’t be going away anytime soon. That’s why we need the voices of love and gentleness, voices that are beautiful and nurturing, to get louder.  That is what I aim to do with this podcast. I plan to host voices that speak love, truth, and gentleness into this world while being simultaneously strong and soft. I’m excited to bring on one such voice today. Michael Singletary is the owner of the Instagram account Verde Lobos Project. He is also a dad of two. His goal is to use his page to help people see that they are loved and valued. Tune into this episode to hear more about what Michael does as well as his perspective on gentle parenting. Show Highlights: The idea of covenant relationships outside of your biological family. How Joe lost his identity when he became a parent. His relationship with whiteness as he talks about gentle parenting. His Instagram post of one of his kids in a Killmonger costume. How he has engaged with and counteracted the narrative of toxic masculinity in his parenting. Why he says many people don’t have access to nature and how he sees nature as a part of his parenting. Life-giving activities we can try today and implement in our families. How he taps into his kids’ playful energy. Links (affiliates included): Michael Singletary - https://www.instagram.com/verdelobosproject/?hl=en Nature & Justice Instagram accounts Michael recommends: she_colorsnature - https://www.instagram.com/she_colorsnature/?hl=en tcplaneteer - https://www.instagram.com/tcplaneteer/?hl=en sophia_roe - https://www.instagram.com/sophia_roe/?hl=en Melanin Base Camp - https://www.instagram.com/melaninbasecamp/?hl=en greengirlleah - https://www.instagram.com/greengirlleah/?hl=en Join us at the Parenting Forward Patreon Team - https://www.patreon.com/cindywangbrandt Parenting Forward, the Book - https://amzn.to/3g0LJPn *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com 

Today's episode will be a rapid-fire Q & A. My goal has always been and always will be to make sure I’m doing my very best here on the podcast to serve you and meet your needs. So, in order to do this, I run a poll every once in a while and ask all of you what you want me to address. I did this again recently and got some fantastic questions and suggestions.  Throughout the episode, I’m going to be tackling all of the questions and issues that were raised in response to my poll. Some of the things we’ll be discussing include how to be assertive as an adult with our fundamental families at Thanksgiving. Tune in to hear my insights on navigating the complex realities of relationships within the family and parenting well in a variety of situations.  Show Highlights: What’s at the core of wanting to be assertive with family. How to clearly state your boundaries. How to know when to disengage. How to create a Christian community with structure but without inflexible hierarchies. How to stay calm and gentle throughout the holiday season. How to set your child up to have a strong foundation of faith. How to parent for an apocalypse.   Links (affiliates included): Existential Happy Hour with Micah Murry - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/007-surviving-deconstruction-w-cindy-wang-brandt/id1532267287?i=1000494731827 Creating Brace Spaces with Colby Martin - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/creating-brave-spaces-with-colby-martin/id1403686245?i=1000449118618   *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com  

I don’t just believe our kids are going to change the world. I believe they have already changed the world. They don’t have to wait to grow up to change the world. They don’t have to achieve anything grandiose to change the world. They have changed the world just by being who they are and having a voice. Therefore, they deserve to have a say in how the world is operating. I was recently invited by a community to share this truth with their parents. You all know me as an author and a podcaster, but I also have speaking engagements where I’m honored to inspire various communities around the world with the message of Parenting Forward. In this particular community, I spoke on the topic of how to raise justice-seeking kids. Today, I’m sharing that talk with all of you. Show Highlights: How to have high hopes for our kids without crushing them with our high parental expectations. Why we don’t have to teach our kids about injustice. The most important thing to instill in our kids. How systemic change really happens. How we can give our children a voice and dismantle the barriers that have been constructed to squash it. A broader definition of activism. How to pave the way for your kids to be revolutionaries.   Links (affiliates included): Join us at the Parenting Forward Patreon Team - https://www.patreon.com/cindywangbrandt Parenting Forward, the Book - https://amzn.to/3g0LJPn   *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com  

The way I think is very big picture. I am an abstract thinker who’s great with ideas, but not so much with concrete practices. Because of this, I try to bring guests onto the show who will compensate for this weakness of mine. While I give you big frameworks and better narratives within which to nurture your kids’ spirituality, I rely on other people’s content and resources when it comes down to what to actually do or say. One of these people is Traci Smith.  Traci provides actionable rituals and practices for families who want to build a foundation of healthy spirituality. She creates resources that help parents incorporate spiritual practices into everyday life. In this episode, we talk about how to cultivate sacred moments for our kids even if you’re not an expert yourself yet. Tune in to learn some practices that you can try today. Show Highlights: Traci’s spiritual background and theological transition later in life. The biggest barriers to cultivating sacred moments for our kids and families. How to make time for spirituality in your family. What healthy spirituality looks like and the signs of spiritual deprivation. How to create moments of connection and sacred moments for our kids when we have religious trauma. Practices from her book Faithful Families for Advent that we can try. What it means to become more conscious of what’s happening in our bodies when they are doing so many things. Links (affiliates included): Traci Smith’s website: http://www.traci-smith.com  Faithful Families for Advent & Christmas - https://amzn.to/3j4glQB Join us at the Parenting Forward Patreon Team - https://www.patreon.com/cindywangbrandt Parenting Forward, the Book - https://amzn.to/3g0LJPn   *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com