Podcasts about your parenting mojo

Relationship different after having kids? Jen Lumanlan from Your Parenting Mojo joins me to talk about how our relationship with our partner shifts after baby. We talk about how we often feel frustration, anger and resentment towards our partner when our needs are not met, and how to resolve this. Jen Lumanlan MS, MEd hosts the Your Parenting Mojo podcast, is author of Parenting Beyond Power: How to Use Connection and Collaboration to Transform Your Family - and the World and mom of two. Check out Jen's Right from the Start course and her  Setting Loving (& Effective!) Limits workshop - enrollment is open now, and starts May 7!Teachers and ECE Professionals- what type of professional development would you benefit most from?I do ⁠⁠⁠⁠early childhood education trainings, pre-service, in-service⁠⁠⁠ ⁠and everything in between and would love to connect with you on a 1:1 call to see how I can be of service to you and the littles you work with.April 17, 2025Episode 238How to Practice Early Language Skills Through Play with Hearing, Deaf, and Hard-of-Hearing Kids with Alaine JacobsAbout Your Host:Cara Tyrrell, M.Ed is mom to three girls, a Vermont based Early Childhood Educator and the founder of Core4Parenting. She is the passionate mastermind behind the Collaborative Parenting Methodology™, a birth-to-five, soul and science based framework that empowers toddler parents and educators  to turn tantrums into teachable moments. Through keynotes, teacher training, and her top-ranking podcast, Transforming the Toddler Years, she's teaching the 5 Executive Functioning Skills kids need to navigate our ever-changing world.Ready to raise world-ready kids who change the world? Visit⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.caratyrrell.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠to begin your Collaborative Parenting journey!

Our guest this week is Jen Lumanlan of Berkeley, CA wife, mother, researcher, parenting coach, author, curator of the Your Parenting Mojo website and host of the Your Parenting Mojo Podcast.  Jen and her husband, Alvin, have been married for 15 years and are the proud parents of daughter, Carys, who is 10 years old.Jen was born and raised in England.  She has a bachelors degree: English & Forestry from U.C. Berkeley, a masters degree in environmental management from Yale and a masters degree in psychology (child development) & education.  As a result of becoming a parent, frustrated by the lack of suitable parenting resources and informed by her masters in psychology & education, Jen redirected her energies into doing research and creating the Your Parenting Mojo podcast to fill that gap.  That lead to creating the Parenting Mojo website and doing parent coaching.Jen is the author of Parenting Beyond Power: How To Use Connection & Collaboration To Transform Your Family & The World, which is a must read for all parents.Jen has also been self-diagnosed with Autism, which she credits with informing her about many of the challenges she experienced as a youth.  More recently Jen has woven her understanding of: white supremacy, patriarchy, and racism into her work.  Her dedication to research, attention to detail and her straight foward ability to communicate sets her apart from many others in the parent coaching field.All on this episode of the SFN Dad to Dad Podcast.Show Notes - Email – jen@yourparentingmojo.comLinkedIn –  https://www.linkedin.com/in/jen-lumanlan-b5b115192/Website - https://yourparentingmojo.com/Your Parenting Mojo Quiz - https://yourparentingmojo.com/quiz/Your Parenting Mojo Podcast episodes referenced in this interview:#94 – Using Nonviolent Communication To Parent More Peacefully: https://yourparentingmojo.com/?s=non+violent+communication#129 – The Physical Reasons You Yell At Your Kids: https://yourparentingmojo.com/?s=129#175 – I'll Be Me, Can You Be You: https://yourparentingmojo.com/?s=175#232 – What Dog Trainers Know:  https://yourparentingmojo.com/?s=232 #238 – Feeling Exhausted & Overwhelmed?  Tools To Help You Cope: https://yourparentingmojo.com/?s=238Register for the 6th Annual SFN Dads Virthual Conference on May 10, 2025: https://us02web.zoom.us/meeting/register/TLkN_ViJTTqnaK-M8pHPNA After registering, you will receive a confirmation email containing information about joining the meeting.Special Fathers Network -SFN is a dad to dad mentoring program for fathers raising children with special needs. Many of the 800+ SFN Mentor Fathers, who are raising kids with special needs, have said: "I wish there was something like this when we first received our child's diagnosis. I felt so isolated.  There was no one within my family, at work, at church or within my friend group who understood or could relate to what I was going through."SFN Mentor Fathers share their experiences with younger dads closer to the beginning of their journey raising a child with the same or similar special needs. The SFN Mentor Fathers do NOT offer legal or medical advice, that is what lawyers and doctors do. They simply share their experiences and how they have made the most of challenging situations.Check out the 21CD YouTube Channel with dozens of videos on topics relevant to dads raising children with special needs - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCzDFCvQimWNEb158ll6Q4cA/videosPlease support the SFN. Click here to donate: https://21stcenturydads.org/donate/Special Fathers Network: https://21stcenturydads.org/  

Have you ever considered how the way we parent connects to bigger societal systems like white supremacy, patriarchy, and capitalism?  In this episode of the Heartful Parent Podcast, I have the privilege of sitting down with Jen Lumanlan—host of Your Parenting Mojo podcast and author of Parenting Beyond Power—for a thought-provoking conversation about how traditional parenting methods can unknowingly reinforce these power structures.  Jen helps us see how discipline and authority play into these systems and explore how a more heartful, mindful approach to parenting can create lasting change in our families and beyond. Jen also points out how balancing our own needs with our kids' needs can actually foster connection, respect, and collaboration. And by recognizing the needs of others, we can in turn break down the power structures that are prevalent in everyday life right now. This episode is packed with insights and practical tools to help you rethink discipline, shift power dynamics, and create a home environment rooted in empathy and mutual understanding. Pass this episode along to at least 2 other parents, and you'll make a difference not only in your life and their lives, but it could begin to shift the world as a whole. Doesn't that sound pretty amazing?    Resources: yourparentingmojo.com yourparentingmojo.com/needs yourparentingmojo.com/quiz Parenting Beyond Power by Jen Lumanlan yourparentingmojo.substack.com White Women, Get Ready by Amanda Gross   Your Parenting Mojo Podcast episodes mentioned: 154: Authoritative isn't the best Parenting “Style 148: Is spanking a child really bad?   Follow Christy @theheartfulparent | Join the Heartful Parent Academy with code PODCAST

Struggling to get your child to open up? Discover 8 key reasons kids resist sharing their feelings—and actionable strategies to create real connection. Why Your Child Won't Open Up—and What You Can Do As parents, we deeply want to support our children, but when we ask, “What's wrong?” and get silence or resistance in return, it can feel frustrating and confusing. Why won't they just tell us what's going on? Whether your child is too young to articulate their emotions, brushes off your questions, or reacts with defiance, you're not alone. In this episode of Your Parenting Mojo, we explore the real reasons children struggle to express their feelings and how we, as parents, might unintentionally make it harder for them to share. You'll learn practical, connection-based strategies to shift these dynamics, helping your child feel safe enough to open up—without forcing the conversation. The episode builds on the ideas in my book Parenting Beyond Power: How to Use Connection and Collaboration to Transform Your Family - and the World. Questions This Episode Will Answer: Why does my child shut down when I ask about their feelings? How can I encourage my child to express emotions—even if they can't or don't speak? Could how I talk to them make them less likely to share? How should I respond when they say, “I don't care” or “Stop talking like that”? How can I build long-term trust so they confide in me more? What common parenting habits discourage open communication without us realizing it? What strategies can I use to make problem-solving conversations feel safe and collaborative? What You'll Learn in This Episode 8 key reasons why kids resist sharing their emotions. How to recognize when your child wants to open up but doesn't know how. The hidden impact of parenting focused on getting the child to behave correctly—and how to shift toward emotional connection. How to reframe conversations so your child knows you see, know, and love them for who they really are. Actionable tools to help your child feel safe expressing their emotions. Taming Your Triggers If you see that your relationship with your child isn't where you want it to be because: you're feeling triggered a lot by your kids' behavior... they're not willing to share how they're feeling with you because they're afraid of your reaction... they think you'll just try to get THEM to change... ... then the Taming Your Triggers workshop will help you. Sign up for the workshop now . Special pricing to celebrate our 10th anniversary: only $147! Click...

Children's threats: What they mean and how to respond "If you don't give me a lollipop, I won't be your friend anymore.”  Said to a sibling: “If you don't come and sit down, I'll take your toy.”  “If you don't give me candy before dinner, I'll hit you.” Has your child made threats like this (or worse ones) when things don't go their way? Whether it's yelling, “I'll never be your friend again!” or threatening to hurt you, hearing these words can stop you in your tracks. Why do our kids say things like this? Where do they even get the idea to use threats, when we've never said anything like this to them and we don't think they've heard it from screen time either? In this week's episode we'll dig deeply into these questions, and learn how to respond both in the moment the threat has happened - as well as what to do to reduce future threats. You'll hear: A step-by-step strategy to deal with a real-life example - from the parent whose child said "If you don't lie down with me I will shatter your eyeballs!" The phrases we use with our kids that might unintentionally encourage this kind of behavior Specific, practical tools to use in the moment - and long before tensions escalate Are you ready to turn these tough moments into opportunities for deeper connection? Tune in to the episode today. And what happens to you when your child threatens you? Do you lose your mind? Do you freak out that you might be raising a child who needs help to defuse violent tendencies, and then yell at them because their threats are SO INAPPROPRIATE? Hopefully this episode reassures you that that isn't the case. But that may not eliminate your triggered feelings - because these don't always respond to logic. If you know you need help with your triggers but don't know what to do, come to the FREE Why You're So Angry With Your Child's Age-Appropriate Behavior - and What To Do About It (without stuffing down your feelings and pretending that you aren't angry) masterclass. Finally understand the causes of your triggered feelings and find out how to feel angry less often - in just 36 minutes. Watch the recording anytime it's convenient for you, then join me for a FREE LIVE Q&A session and coaching from 10-11:30am Pacific on Thursday February 6. (We'll send you a recording in case you can't attend - although you have to be there to get your questions answered and win great prizes!) Click the banner below to learn more and sign up. Other episodes mentioned: SYPM 013: Triggered all the time to emotional safety 232: 10 game-changing parenting hacks – straight from master dog trainers Jump to highlights: 03:03 Introduction of Reddit post about a child threatening his parent 19:27 The child listens but doesn't do what they're told 36:21 Recognizing the signals 42:42 Recognize the background stress [accordion] [accordion-item title="Click here to read the full transcript"]  Adrian  00:03 Adrian, Hi, I'm Adrien in suburban Chicagoland, and this is Your Parenting Mojo with Jen Lumanlan. Jen is working on a series of episodes based on the challenges you are...

In this thought-provoking episode of the Love Each Other Better podcast, I sit down with Jen Lumanlan, host of the Your Parenting Mojo podcast and author of Parenting Beyond Power: How to Use Connection & Collaboration to Transform Your Family and the World. Join us for an introduction to how white supremacy, patriarchy, and capitalism shape family dynamics and influence parenting approaches, and how to shift out of traditional power dynamics to make family life easier and more connecting. Jen shares powerful insights and practical tools to help parents navigate conflicts and create family environments where everyone's needs—parents' and children's alike—are honored. From addressing the micro moments where resistance in children shows up to exploring deep concepts like white supremacy, patriarchy, and capitalism and how they intersect in our families, this episode offers a roadmap for transforming family relationships and beyond. Whether you're a parent seeking to navigate the pressures of modern life or someone looking to create a more just and collaborative family dynamic, this episode is packed with inspiration and actionable strategies. Tune in and start building a family culture rooted in equality, trust, and compassion today.   About Jen Lumanlan JEN LUMANLAN, MS, MEd, (she/her) hosts the Your Parenting Mojo podcast, which was named Best Research-Based Parenting Podcast by Lifehacker and has been downloaded almost 4 million times. After attending Berkeley and Yale and following a traditional career path in sustainability consulting, Jen found that parenting was her toughest challenge yet. She went back to school for a master's degree in psychology focused on child development and another in education, and trained as a Co-Active coach to share what she learned with other parents. Her work has been featured in outlets such as Psychology Today, Romper, and NPR. Jen is the author of Parenting Beyond Power: How to Use Connection and Collaboration to Transform Your Family - and the World. Jen's Resources Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/YourParentingMojo Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/yourparentingmojo/ Website: https://www.yourparentingmojo.com Take Jen's quiz: Tell Me What My Child Needs! https://www.yourparentingmojo.com/quiz When you understand your child's most important need and meet that more often, they'll stop resisting you as much. Read Jen's book: Parenting Beyond Power: How to Use Connection & Collaboration to Transform Your Family and the World: https://yourparentingmojo.com/book/ Listen to Jen's podcast: Your Parenting Mojo: https://yourparentingmojo.com/episodes/ Setting Loving (& Effective!) Limits workshop (open anytime; just $7 with coupon code ALIMILLER) - shows you how to set limits effectively, and also set far fewer of them than you ever thought possible, without being a permissive parent! Taming Your Triggers workshop (opens every ~Oct and Feb) - helps parents understand the real causes of their triggered feelings, begin to heal those hurts so they feel triggered less often, and repair more effectively on the fewer occasions when it does still happen. Parenting Membership (opens every May) - provides ongoing support for parenting challenges - from tantrums/meltdowns, screen time, and raising healthy eaters to getting on the same page with your parenting partner.   Connect with Ali Miller Stop Fighting! (without stuffing your feelings or sacrificing your needs) 8-Week Private Coaching Program for Couples: https://www.alimillercoaching.com/stopfighting Website: https://www.AliMillerCoaching.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alimillercoaching NVC for Couples Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/nvcforcouples/ Email: Ali@AliMillerCoaching.com    

An Educational Journey Turned Parenting Mission Jen Lumanlan's shift from a sustainability consulting career to a focus on parenting wasn't incidental. After grappling with the challenges of raising her own daughter, she realized that academic research on child development could serve as a guiding light. This led her to pursue master's degrees in psychology and education, and subsequently, to the creation of her podcast and book. Her primary goal? To leverage her learnings to support other parents facing similar challenges. Challenging Conventional Discipline Understanding the Power Dynamics at Play At the heart of Jen's approach is the critique of conventional discipline methods such as timeouts and consequences. According to Jen, these methods often perpetuate harmful power dynamics. They emphasize a power-over relationship, where the authority figure (the parent) uses their power to correct or control the child. These traditional methods can breed resentment and a lack of genuine understanding. Exploring Alternative Strategies The Shift From Control to Collaboration So, what can parents do instead? Jen advocates for strategies that satisfy both the parent's and the child's needs, fostering a power-sharing relationship. For example, during conflict, she suggests addressing the situation outside of the moment of crisis. Proactive discussions about recurring issues like tooth brushing or bedtime can pave the way for more harmonious solutions. By understanding and meeting each other's needs, both parties can find agreeable strategies, reducing resistance and conflict. Identifying and Meeting Needs The Two-Way Street of Parenting Needs Parents often neglect their own needs in the face of their child's demands, but Jen emphasizes that both parent and child have valid needs. Strategies should aim to fulfill both. She introduces the concept of "cherry needs" — the most critical needs that recur for both parents and children. For instance, a child's need for autonomy can be met with choices that do not compromise the parent's essential needs, such as brushing teeth in a different room. Problem-Solving in Real-Time Navigating Tantrums and Meltdowns Tantrums and meltdowns are common challenges, and Jen offers peace and empathy as the best tools. Understanding the underlying needs that prompt such behaviors and addressing them proactively or with empathetic responses in the heat of the moment can defuse tension. Validating the child's feelings and needs even during a meltdown can lead to quicker resolutions and more trust. Shifting Dynamics with Teens It's Never Too Late to Transform Relationships Parents of older children might assume it's too late for change, but Jen underscores that it's never too late. Even with tweens and teens, shifting from a power-over to a power-sharing dynamic can salvage and improve the relationship. She proposes using phrases like “I'm worried that…” to express needs and concerns, fostering mutual respect and understanding. Healing From Our Own Childhood Breaking Cycles Through Self-Reflection Many of our parenting triggers stem from our own childhood experiences. By unpacking and healing these old traumas, parents can become more conscious and connected. This self-awareness prevents past negative patterns from repeating, helping parents respond more thoughtfully rather than reacting on impulse. Broader Societal Change Raising Children Who Challenge Injustice Jen believes that by fostering power-sharing relationships at home, we can equip children to challenge systemic injustices. When children learn to view all individuals' needs as equally important, they carry this perspective into broader societal contexts, questioning and challenging systems of domination and inequality. Jen Lumanlan's insights offer valuable guidance in our quest to raise empathetic, empowered children. By shifting from control to collaboration and addressing the deeper needs within our family dynamics, we not only nurture healthier relationships but also contribute to a more just world. Tune into this enlightening episode of Dads with Daughters for more practical wisdom on transformative parenting. Connect with Jen and deepen your understanding of parenting dynamics at Your Parenting Mojo. TRANSCRIPT Dr.Christopher Lewis [00:00:05]: Welcome to Dads with Daughters. In this show, we spotlight dads, resources, and more to help you be the best dad you can be. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:16]: Welcome back to the Dads with Daughters podcast where we bring you guests to be active participants in your daughters' lives, raising them to be strong, independent women. Really excited to have you back again this week. As always, every week, you and I are on a journey together. I love being on this journey with you where we have an opportunity to be able to learn together about what it takes to be that dad that we wanna be. And all of us wanna be that those engaged dads, those dads that are there for our kids. And it takes work. It takes time. It takes effort to be a quality parent, and it takes resources. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:55]: And that's why this podcast exists. Every week, I love being able to bring you different guests, different people with different experiences that can bring different resources to you, different different opportunities for you to learn and grow. The the biggest thing is that you're open to learning. And that's what I hope for me for you every week when we're talking. This week, we got another great guest with us. Jen Loominlan is with us today. And Jen hosts the Your Parenting Mojo podcast, which was named the best research parenting podcast by Lifehacker. It's been downloaded over 3,000,000 times. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:01:33]: After attending Berkeley and Yale and following a traditional career path in sustainability consulting, Jen found that parenting was her toughest challenge yet. She went back to school for a master's degree in psychology focused on child development and another in education and trained as a coactive coach to share what she learned with other parents. She's an author of the book Parenting Beyond Power, How to Use Connection and Collaboration to Transform Your Family and the world. And today, we're gonna be talking with her about her own experiences and these experiences with the book and some of the things that you can take out of this book to help you to be that parent that you wanna be. Jen, thanks so much for being here today.  Jen Lumanlan [00:02:16]: Thanks for having me. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:02:16]: It is my pleasure. I mentioned the fact that you've got this book that you've put out into the world. As an author myself, I know how much time, effort, passion has to go into putting a book out into the world. And it is a lot of time and effort, and you have to have a passion for it to be able to get to that end point. So tell me the story. What what was it about? You know, I introduced you. You you had this career, but you said, you know what? I wanna go back and I want to do do more work on education, work with parents. But what made you decide that you wanted to put all this into a book that was gonna help others? What drew you to that final point? Jen Lumanlan I think I started the podcast because, you know, I had no idea how to parent. And I didn't have the most amazing parenting role models myself either, and so I realized I could look to academic research to help me understand how to go about raising my daughter. And so I kind of figured, you know, I I should get some education on this so that I can put some kind of guardrails around it and know I'm not missing anything huge, and that's what led to the master's degrees. And and then I was kinda thinking, well, it's kinda silly to do all this learning for myself and not share it. So I created the podcast to share that with other people. And then I over the course of of sort of exploring a lot of topics on the podcast that we have over 200 episodes now that are all research based. And I think, you know, it became really clear that I was hearing similar challenges from parents over and over again. And and they're kind of variations on the phrase, how do I get my child to Right? How do I get my kid to put their shoes on in the morning, to eat their breakfast, to stay at the dinner table, to get in the bath, to stay in bed at the end of the night? You know? And that's just the toddler set. Jen Lumanlan [00:03:59]: The challenges expand from there. So, what I realized was the the tools that I had learned from others and kind of adapted with putting my own spin on them were really helping parents to kind of address those challenges, those daily challenges on a day to day basis. And at the same time, they also help us to address some of the big challenges that we face out in the world that are related to kind of being in power over relationships. And it turns out that our kids learn a lot about power from our relationships with them and when we're using our power to get them to because it seems like that's the only thing we can do. Right? We just wanna get through the day. It's not we want to use our our power over our kids. We're just trying to get through the day. And we use our power because it seems like that's the only option we have because that's what was modeled for us when we were kids. Jen Lumanlan [00:04:50]: And if we can instead see how to be in a power sharing relationship with our kids, then our kids stop resisting us because you don't resist when your needs are met and when, you know, when you're not being sort of dominated by somebody else. And and also that will help us to address some of the social challenges we face that have their origins in these power based relationships. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:05:11]: So let's talk a little bit about power because in your book, you do talk about the that that power dynamic, and you challenge conventional discipline methods like timeouts and consequences. And you suggest that they perpetuate harmful power dynamics like you just were mentioning. So what are some other alternative strategies that parents can use when they feel overwhelmed, or when they feel that their child's behavior is especially difficult? Jen Lumanlan [00:05:38]: So the I mean, firstly, the challenge with those conventional discipline methods. I mean, if you ever put a child in time out, right, do they come out of time out kind of contrite and ready to apologize for the thing that they did wrong and they never do it again? Right? No. They usually kinda resent being in time out. They come out of it kinda pissed at you, and they do it again. Right? They do the same thing over again. Same with consequences. We can we can withdraw a privilege of some kind. We can punish a child in some way, and we can call it a, quote, unquote, logical consequence because it seems like the punishment is sort of related to the thing they did wrong. Jen Lumanlan [00:06:12]: But, essentially, it is a punishment. It is us using our power to say your behavior is not acceptable to me. And until that changes, I'm going to withdraw this thing that you care about. Right? We are using our power to to make both of those things happen. And so what what I want to make sure that that your listeners understand is that I am not advocating that we parents suddenly say, okay. Whatever you want. Totally fine. Totally cool. Jen Lumanlan [00:06:32]: Right? I'm just here to exist to enable you to live your best life. No. What I'm saying is that both parent and child have needs. And the way that we use the word need in our culture is a little bit odd. Right? Like, I might say, I can't play with you right now. I need to make dinner. And needing to make dinner is not actually a need. That's a strategy that I'm using to meet my need for food, for nourishment. Jen Lumanlan [00:07:01]: Right? And there are a 100 other strategies we could use. I could toss a pizza in the oven. We could go out and get dinner. I could ask someone to bring us dinner. We could have cereal for dinner. So many different strategies we could use to meet that need. And so what I'm saying is that you, parents, are a whole person with needs, and you deserve to get those needs met. And your child is a whole person with needs, and your child deserves to get those needs met. Jen Lumanlan [00:07:26]: And the vast majority of the time, preferably if we're not dealing with it in the moment. Right? We're not we're not waiting in for this thing that our kid does over and over and over again, and we're not waiting for that to happen. Then, okay, needs? What what am I supposed to do? Right? Instead, we can actually address that outside of that difficult moment. We can say, hey. I noticed we've been having a hard time with tooth brushing lately. Can we have a chat about that? Because I'd really like for that to be different. I'd like for our evenings to be different. Would you like for our evenings to be different? Chances are the kid probably does. Jen Lumanlan [00:07:53]: Because if this is a big deal to you, then, you know, there have been time outs and all kinds of stress around toothbrushing. And then, okay, so we're we're trying to understand how each person is feeling. We're trying to understand what each person needs. And what the need is determines the strategy that we can use to help them meet the need. So I'm happy to dig further into that if you'd like, but I'm curious if you have any questions about that aspect. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:08:14]: No. I'd love to delve a little bit deeper into needs because I know that in the book, you do talk about the importance of meeting both the parents and the child's needs, like you were talking about to reduce that conflict. So how can parents begin to identify and prioritize their own needs without feeling guilty or neglecting their children's? Jen Lumanlan [00:08:32]: So it's super common for the parents that I work with to say to me, before I started working with you, I didn't even know that I had needs. Because we didn't learn this when we were kids. Right? And so just to be clear on what I'm talking about related to needs, I'm talking about things like rest, like self care, like respect, which is not necessarily having everybody do everything you say. Right? It can be, like, holding someone in esteem and high regard. And we all want respect, and our kids want respect too. It's things like ease. And we just want parenting to be a little bit easier for collaboration, for harmony with our kids. Right? These are the kinds of things I'm talking about related to needs. Jen Lumanlan [00:09:10]: And so if we take tooth brushing as an example, right, could imagine if tooth brushing has been stressful because my kid has been resisting it. Let's say my kid is a toddler. My kid's actually 10 by now. But let's say it's a toddler, and I might think, okay. What is my need in this? Right? I might I might have been saying to my child, I need you to brush your teeth. That's not actually my need. My need is for protection of her health and safety. It is for a little bit of ease and collaboration and harmony in the evenings at the end of a long day. Jen Lumanlan [00:09:39]: And if you're wanting to, like, explore what needs are, there's a a list of needs in the back of of the book. And there's also a quiz that I offer at your parentingmojo.com, which allows you to go through it's your parentingmojo.comforward/ quiz, and you can answer some simple questions about your child's behavior and get to your child's most important needs that come up over and over and over again. And you may well find that some of those are coming up in tooth brushing. So if your child has what we call a cherry need, right, there's the cherry on top of the cupcake, which is the 3 to 5 needs that are coming up over and over and over again. For many toddlers, autonomy is right up there at the top. They want to be able to have some kind of say over something that feels important to them. Underneath that, we have the frosting needs, which is the next 3 to 5 most important. Underneath that is kind of all of the other needs. Jen Lumanlan [00:10:26]: And so we're always firstly looking at what are those cherry needs, and that quiz is gonna help you to understand what your child's cherry needs are. And so even if your child isn't speaking yet, right, if your child is too young to speak, if your child doesn't speak, if you've done this quiz, you can say, okay. What is it an autonomy? Is it possible the child wants to have some kind of say over what's happening here? How can I make that happen? Right? You're not giving the child necessarily the choice, do you want to brush teeth or not? But what kind of toothpaste do you wanna use? What kind of toothbrush do you wanna use? For us, oh my goodness. It it turned out to be I my daughter wanted to decide where we brushed. For a solid 6 months, we brushed in the living room. And so I might initially think, no. She should have brushed her teeth in the in the bathroom. That's where teeth are brushed. Jen Lumanlan [00:11:10]: Right? But if I can find the cognitive flexibility to say, alright. What are my needs? Her health and safety, peace, ease, harmony. Does brushing teeth in the living room meet my needs? Yes. It does. Does brushing teeth in the living room meet her need for autonomy? Yes. It does. Then is there a reason why we can't brush teeth in the living room? No. There is not. Jen Lumanlan [00:11:28]: And so that's what we did. And so the critical, critical piece here is that when it's a need for autonomy, right, it's not it's not the brushing teeth in the living room. It's some magical solution that will work for every child. If your child has a need for comfort, right, if you've been holding them down and forcing the toothbrush in their mouth, saying, let's brush in the living room is not gonna address that. And so we have to know what is the child's need, and then we find strategies to meet their need. And it feels good to have our needs met, and everybody wants to have it happen. And so that's how it helps us to get both of our needs met. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:11:59]: So another thing that your books talk about, and really what you just kind of framed seems to fit in with it, is one of the key concepts you talk about is your problem solving approach, and it it basically what you just described. Are there other parts though of that approach that you could walk us through that would allow for someone to get a better sense of what the approach kind of how an adult would frame that approach, and also how a parent might then apply it to other challenges like tantrums or other situations like that. Jen Lumanlan [00:12:34]: What I want to have parents see is that very, very often, these are not isolated instances. When your child is having tantrums, chances are it's kind of about the same thing over and over and over again. And so that represents a huge opportunity because you don't have to wait for the next tooth brushing session to address this. You can address this beforehand while everybody's calm, everybody's rested, everybody's fed, nobody's at the end of their rope. Right? That's the time ideally we want to address this. And that allows us to have more of a conversation. And even if your kid isn't talking yet, kids sense the difference between, you're gonna brush your teeth because I said so, because because I want what's good for you, and you have to brush your teeth so you don't get cavities, and all the reasons that we give them. And, oh my gosh, I really wish that this could be easier for both of us. Jen Lumanlan [00:13:22]: I'm trying to figure out how do we meet both of our needs here. Right? Kids know the difference between those two things. And even if you can't fully understand the child's need, they are often willing to come towards you because you're trying. But I also wanna give you an example of, like, in the moment the kid is already melting down. And so I'm thinking of a parent that I coached a while ago whose child was having this meltdown, and it was coming up because the child and the parent were having 1 on 1 playtime in the afternoon, and it's coming time to go and pick the older child up from school. And so the kid has, like, a you know, the kid the the younger child who's at home with the parent is having a fallout on the floor, wailing, hitting, biting, all the rest of it meltdown that's happening. And the parent is trying to reason with the child. Right? Come on. Jen Lumanlan [00:14:06]: It's time to go. We do this every day. Why is this so hard? We already had playtime. Let's go. And if you've ever had a meltdown yourself with your partner, with anyone else who's in your life, if you imagine your partner coming back and saying, but I told you a 100 times, this is how we do it. We can sort of get a sense for what it might be like to receive that from our parent. And what do we want instead? What we really want is someone to try to see it from our perspective. And so what I asked that parent to do and what she ended up doing was when the next time the child had the the the meltdown because they didn't have a chance to kinda talk about it beforehand, the parent kinda went in with, oh my goodness. Jen Lumanlan [00:14:46]: I hear you. It's so hard to transition out of playtime with me. Right? Because it's so much fun, and you love it so much. And now we're going to pick up your sibling, and for the rest of the afternoon, you're gonna have to share me. You're gonna have to wait. You can't just have the thing that you want right at the moment that you want it. Is that what's going on for you? And the kid is like, yes. And we're done. Jen Lumanlan [00:15:05]: And there's no more hitting, and there's no more biting, and there's no more flailing on the floor because the child was heard. And so I'm not saying this magically fixes every tantrum in your child's life, but I can tell you that when you see these things coming, when you see, okay. Yeah. Every day at this time, my kid has a tantrum. Why is that? What need are they trying to meet? Can I help them meet that need? That takes care of, like, a massive chunk of them up front, so you never even get into the tantrum in the first place. And then once you're in it, then the empathy the okay. What's really going on for you? Can I sit with you in this hard time that you're having? And that's where you find the real beauty of, yes. I just wanted to be heard. Jen Lumanlan [00:15:45]: I just wanted somebody to acknowledge that it's hard for me to to stop playing with you and have to share you for the rest of the evening. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:15:51]: So a lot of the examples you gave were of younger children. And in a perfect world, I would have loved to have had this book when my kids were really young. So if someone is hearing this and they're saying, I've got a tween, I've got a teen, and our relationship's not the best, we're in this fighting, we were fighting together, we're not seen eye to eye, you know, we're, you know, we're isolated, you know, we're we're not where we need to be. Are there things that they can do with this problem solving approach that they can start putting in place even though their children are not at that young age that they can start using right away? Jen Lumanlan [00:16:28]: Yes. It's never ever, ever too late to do this. I mentioned that my parenting role models were not the best, and I've thought about this a lot actually. And, you know, what would have happened I guess I do wanna be clear. You know, they were doing the best they could with the tools that they had. And if one of them had learned these tools and had tried to make some kind of shift, even in my late teenage years, would that have made a difference? Yes. It absolutely would have. And so where I would try to start with this kind of thing is to to try to kind of back off where you see that you're using power to get your child to change their behavior. Jen Lumanlan [00:17:04]: Not back off completely, but try to use a simple phrase. And that phrase is, I'm worried that dot dot dot. So if your, you know, your your kid is asking to do something, they wanna go out with friends, they whatever whatever is the thing that you're thinking about saying no to. That previously would you would have used your power, you would have made sure that they didn't do the thing that you that they're asking to do, that they really want do, that you don't want them to do. And so instead of of doing that, we can say, I'm worried that you're not gonna be safe. Right? I'm worried that this specific thing is going to happen. How can we make sure this thing doesn't happen? Because what what what the I'm worried that does is it helps me to articulate my need. I am worried for your safety. Jen Lumanlan [00:17:46]: If I can know that certain parameters are in place that mean that I think you're gonna be safe, then, yeah, I'm willing to say yes to this thing. Then I don't have to use my power over you to try and get you to change your behavior. I think that what what parents you're describing or seeing is I get actually reading for the first time doctor Thomas Gordon's book on, parent effectiveness training, and he talks about power and influence. And when we've used power over our children for a long time, we tend to find we have less influence as they get older because people don't like being influenced by people who have used power over them. And so if we want to have influence over our children as they get older and and they realize, you know what? You don't you actually don't have any power over me anymore. I'm getting bigger to the point where you can't physically intimidate me, and once I have the car keys, right, I'm done. I'm out of here. You can't control me anymore. Jen Lumanlan [00:18:37]: And if we still want to be able to influence our children at that point, we have to be willing to give up some of that power, and I'm worried that is a great place to start with that. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:18:47]: One of the other things that you talk about in the book is that many of the triggers, the triggers that all of us have internally, the things that set us off in our own parenting journey with our kids stem from how we were raised. How can parents begin to unpack and heal from their own childhood experiences to become more conscious, connected parents? Jen Lumanlan [00:19:09]: Well, that could be another episode by itself. So, I mean, there's a lot there. And what parents that I work with tend to find is that they are most triggered by their child's behavior when they when their child gets to an age where they were having a hard time with their parents. So there's, you know, all the typical toddler stuff that is just hard when the toddler is resisting for the first time, and we used to resist as well. Right? We didn't like it either, being told what to do and that my way is the only way and that even if we try and kind of be nice about it, that ultimately, the kid's gonna do things the way that we want them to do. We didn't like that either. We pushed back against it. And, eventually, we learned there's no point in pushing back because the parent's gonna win eventually. Jen Lumanlan [00:19:50]: And so you know, most people find that stage difficult for that reason. And then as we go through life, there was probably an age where we kinda butted up against our parents for for whatever reason. And then when our child gets to that age, then we remember all those struggles. It's like they're they're right here again. They're right here with us, and they remind us of the hard time that we had, the ways that we were dominated by our parents. And I think this, it's especially difficult actually for parents who have done a little bit of work, who are trying to do things differently with their child. Because when their child is doing something the parent finds difficult, there's this kind of tug of war happening in their heads. There's this, I know what my values are. Jen Lumanlan [00:20:31]: I know how I want to raise you. I want to be in this power sharing relationship with you, but I would have been punished for doing the thing you just did. If I never spoken to my parent like that, right, they would have hit me. And so it's like there's this this massive, you know, you can imagine this tug of war literally happening inside of our heads. And and it's happening in this moment when our kid is doing something we told them not to do. And the amount of mental capacity it takes to be able to navigate that and also be calm for your child and show up for your child is is overwhelming, and so we snap. And so that's why I teach a whole 10 week workshop called taming your triggers on where does this stuff come from, really digging deep and to start healing those things so that we don't have to carry around the weight of that hurt every day. And, also, really digging deep into the the tools that I've been mentioning that are described in the book and, like, how do we actually use them when I'm feeling triggered? Right? How do I how do I create a pause? Because that's that's the critical phase for especially for people who are triggered, is creating that pause between the thing my child does and my reaction. Jen Lumanlan [00:21:42]: And once you have that pause, then you have a moment to be able to say, okay. What are my values here? What's really important to me? What is my need? Okay. This is it. And so the thing that's gonna come out of my mouth is gonna be x rather than, you know, whatever it is that currently flies out in the moment that our child does this thing right now. Jen Lumanlan [00:22:00]: And so many times, it is that latter aspect. Jen Lumanlan [00:22:03]: And so often, it's your parents' voice that comes out. You're like, where did that come from? Yes. Because our parents raised us using these tools. They they dominated us. Even if they didn't mean to, even if they were doing the best that they could, they dominated us. And so when we're in these stressed moments, the thing that comes out is the thing that was modeled for us. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:22:22]: You know, the final thing that I think that I'd mentioned is that in your book, you really talk about transforming the family dynamic and that you say that through transforming this dynamic within our own homes, we can contribute to what you call a broader societal change. So how do you envision parents using these parenting tools to raise children who are capable of challenging system systematic injustices in the world around them? Jen Lumanlan [00:22:48]: Yeah. I mean, I see it happening already in the parents that I work with. And there's an example in the book of a parent who parent Maria and her her daughter, Isabelle. And, you know, Isabelle is one of those kids who, from the get go, knew exactly what she wanted and would scream if you held her the wrong way and would refuse to put her shoes on as a toddler. Right? Even even to go to a a nice outing. Right? The parents are like, okay. Put your shoes on. Well, no. Jen Lumanlan [00:23:13]: You told me to do it. No. I'm not doing it. And they stand there and stand off for half an hour, and the kid's not doing anything, and and they never make it out. And so Maria very quickly realized that using these power over tools was just gonna result in endless repetitions of that situation and started using these power sharing tools. And the transformation in their own relationship has been really profound. I mean, this is a kid who, I think Maria actually sprained her ankle in the house one day, and Isabelle stepped over her and said, you know, what? What's for lunch? No empathy, no compassion, no nothing. And within a period of months, right, we see empathy, we see compassion start coming out. Jen Lumanlan [00:23:57]: We see the kids all around the table, and some of the kids are teasing mom. And and Isabelle says, I'm looking at mom, and it seems like she's not up for being teased right now. Right? Reading mom's cues and being able to say, you know what? I'm not seeing that that mom's really into this. And so that's just within the family. And then we look outside the family, and Isabel sees that there's a kid in the school who has ADHD and is being bullied by the peer group that Isabelle is a part of, and Isabelle says, you know what? No. I'm not I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna be part of this group and goes over and makes friends with a kid with ADHD. So that's, you know, that's a super small example. Jen Lumanlan [00:24:32]: And then we start to extrapolate that out to other systems in the world. Right? If we think about things like racism, it's ultimately a power over system. It's me saying, my right to exist as a white person, to be comfortable as a white person is more important than people of color's right to exist in their whole selves. And what if we were to say, you know what? Your needs are just as important as my needs. I don't believe that these systems of domination out in the world can exist when we all perceive each other's needs to be equally as important as our own. And so, yes, it's gonna take some time. Right? This can't be the only way we go about doing these things. Parents are not responsible in themselves by, you know, just alone for solving these societal challenges. Jen Lumanlan [00:25:16]: We also need lots of other work as well. But I truly believe that seeing each other's needs as as important as our own is a critical piece of making the world a place where everybody can thrive. Jen Lumanlan [00:25:30]: I really appreciate you sharing everything that you've been sharing today. And if people want to find out more about you, your podcast, your book, where's the best place for them to go? Jen Lumanlan [00:25:40]: So everything I do flows through your parentingmojo.com. I would definitely advise parents to go check out the quiz at your parentingmojo.comforward/quiz. Because once you know your child's needs, everything just gets so much easier. Because as soon as you see resistance, you can say, okay. Where is this coming from? Is it a need? Oh, yes. It's autonomy. It's connection. It's, you know, whatever that cherry need is. Jen Lumanlan [00:26:03]: And then you can very quickly find the strategies that meet their need instead of having to look through the list of 50 needs and say, oh, which one is it? So I would definitely recommend that. I am on Facebook and Instagram. I don't use them super much, but I am there as well. And so, yeah, subscribe to podcast episodes as well, through the through the website. And the book is at Parenting Beyond Power. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:26:25]: Well, I really appreciate you sharing all of this today for what you're putting out into the world and what you're doing to help parents be better parents, and I wish you all the best. Jen Lumanlan [00:26:32]: Thanks so much, Chris. It was great to be with you. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:26:34]: If you've enjoyed today's episode of the Dads with Daughters podcast, we invite you to check out the Fatherhood Insider. The fatherhood insider is the essential resource for any dad that wants to be the best dad that he can be. We know that no child comes with an instruction manual and most dads are figuring it out as they go along, and the fatherhood insider is full of resources and information that will up your game on fatherhood. Through our extensive course library, interactive forum, step by step roadmaps, and more, you will engage and learn with experts, but more importantly, dads like you. So check it out at fatheringtogether.org. If you are a father of a daughter and have not yet joined the dads with daughters Facebook community, there's a link in the notes today. Dads with daughters is a program of fathering together. We look forward to having you back for another great guest next week, all geared to helping you raise strong, empowered daughters and be the best dad that you can be. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:27:32]: We're all in the same boat, And it's full of tiny screaming passengers. We spend the time. We give the lessons. We make the meals. We buy them presents and bring your a game. Because those kids are growing fast. The time goes by just like a  

Amy is joined by Jen Lumanlan to discuss her book, Parenting Beyond Power: How to Use Connection and Collaboration to Transform Your Family and the World, exploring the ways power-over parenting teaches patriarchy to the next generation, plus needs-based alternatives and practice scenarios to help listeners put these anti-patriarchal parenting approaches into use.Jen Lumanlan, M.S., M.Ed., (she/her) obtained Bachelor's degrees (Forestry, English) from the University of California, Berkeley and a Master's in Environmental Management from Yale University and enjoyed a career in sustainability consulting before having her daughter, when she realized she was in for her toughest challenge yet. She went back to school for a Master's in psychology focused on child development and another in education to understand how to raise her child, and launched a podcast, Your Parenting Mojo, to share what she was learning with others.

Welcome back to Your Parenting Mojo! Today, we're diving into a topic that many parents may face but rarely talk about openly: navigating menopause while raising young kids. If you've been wondering how to balance parenting with the changes menopause brings, this episode is for you. In our first interview on Menstrual Cycle Awareness, we explored how menstruation impacts our lives. Today, we're thrilled to welcome back our wonderful guests, Alexandra Pope and Sjanie Hugo Wurlitzer, for a second interview focusing on menopause. Alexandra Pope, Co-Founder of Red School and Co-Author of Wild Power and Wise Power, is a pioneer in menstruality education and awareness. With over 30 years of experience, Alexandra believes that each stage of the menstrual journey—from the first period to menopause and beyond—holds a unique power. Sjanie Hugo Wurlitzer, also Co-Founder of Red School and Co-Author of Wild Power and Wise Power, is a psychotherapist and menstrual cycle educator. She is passionate about helping people understand and honor their natural rhythms, using menstrual cycle awareness as a tool for self-care and empowerment. In this interview, they'll share their insights on embracing menopause as a time of empowerment rather than something to simply endure. They introduce us to their concept of “Wild Power,” a strength that arises from understanding and honoring your body's natural rhythms through every stage of life. Why Menopause Matters in Parenting Many parents have kids a bit later in life, which means we may find ourselves dealing with perimenopause—when our body starts preparing for menopause—right when we're also raising children. This experience can bring challenges, like feeling more tired or dealing with mood changes, but it also offers us new ways to grow and find our inner strength. Alexandra and Sjanie show us how we can be more understanding and open with ourselves and others as we go through this time of change. What You'll Learn in This Episode: What is Menopause? Alexandra and Sjanie explain what menopause and perimenopause are and how these natural changes affect us physically and emotionally. The Wild Power Within: Discover how your unique energy can be a guiding force in both your personal life and in parenting. Tools to Support Yourself: Simple ways to be kinder to yourself, balance rest with activity, and embrace each phase with a sense of discovery. Reconnecting with Yourself: Learn how you can stay grounded and connected to your inner self as you navigate the ups and downs of menopause. Listen in to this powerful conversation that might just change the way you think about parenting—and about yourself. Alexandra and Sjanie's books (Affiliate Links): Wild power: Discover the magic of your menstrual cycle and awaken the feminine path to power Wise power: Discover the liberating power of menopause to awaken authority, purpose and belonging Episodes mentioned: 222: How to cultivate Menstrual Cycle Awareness Jump to highlights: 00:03 Introducing today's episode and featured guests 00:52 Understanding Menopause and Its Stages 03:02 Introduction to menopause terminology: perimenopause, menopause, post-menopause 05:34 Phases compared to seasons, each with unique...

Today's episode comes from listener who submitted an emotional voicemail on the Ask Jen a Question button on the Your Parenting Mojo homepage, which boils down to: Am I damaging my child? The messages you can leave are limited to two minutes in length, so we get just a taste of what the parent is struggling with: a difficult relationship with their neurodivergent son, because he triggers the parent and then the parent feels triggered again by the guilt and shame that some of the challenges the son is facing might be the parent's fault. In this episode I walk though neuropsychologist R. Douglas Fields' LIFEMORTS framework of rage triggers - because if we understand the kinds of things that trigger us, we can avoid some of those triggers entirely and then see the rest of them coming and resource ourselves before they arrive. I link these rage triggers with broader social issues that we may be carrying in the backs of our minds without even realizing it, and the energy it takes to constantly manage our thoughts about these issues is energy we don't have to spend meeting our children's needs - or our needs. I also offer a set of three steps you can use to help you navigate triggering situations with your children more effectively. If you see that your relationship with your child isn't where you want it to be because you: Speak to them in a tone or using words that you would never let other people use with your child... Are rougher with their bodies than you know you should be when you feel frustrated... Feel guilt and/or shame about how they're experiencing your words and actions, even though your intentions are never to hurt them... ...the Taming Your Triggers workshop will help you.

Ever feel like the school run is an endless struggle, leaving you overwhelmed and drained before your day even begins?If you're nodding along, you're not alone. Join us as we uncover why the school run feels like an uphill battle and explore practical strategies to transform your mornings from chaotic to calm.In this episode, you will:1) Gain insights into why the traditional nuclear family structure can lead to overwhelming parenting experiences.2) Discover practical advice from parenting expert Jen Lemanlan on how to navigate feelings of overwhelm as a parent.3) Learn actionable strategies for building community support and understanding your child's behaviour to ease the stress of the school run.Ready to reclaim your mornings and ease the overwhelm of the school run? Tune in to this episode now for expert insights and actionable tips to make your parenting journey smoother and more fulfilling.Have you ever wondered why parenting seems like such a solo journey? In this podcast episode I'm lucky enough to be joined by the host of the Your Parenting Mojo podcast Jen LumanlanTo find out more about our podcast guest click the links below.Your Parenting Mojo YouTube channel Tell Me What My Child Needs Quiz 10 questions to help you decode your child's behaviour so you can find and meet their #1 unmet need - making your life easier as wellLists of Feelings and Needs > Includes printable, picture-based versions for kids. Helps to incorporate the language of feelings and needs into daily conversations, so it's easier to understand and address children's resistance in a way that meets their needs

Have you ever wondered why parenting seems like such a solo journey? In this podcast episode I'm lucky enough to be joined by the host of the Your Parenting Mojo podcast Jen LumanlanDive into this episode as we unravel the societal norms that leave many dads feeling isolated in their parenting journey.Are you feeling like you're constantly falling short as a parent? Join the conversation as we explore how societal expectations impact mental health, parenting guilt, and relationships, offering insights to help dads navigate family life without losing their minds.In this episode, you will:1) Gain perspective on the underlying triggers of parental frustration and guilt.2) Discover strategies to manage emotions and cultivate a healthier approach to parenting.3) Explore the importance of community support and self-compassion in the journey of fatherhood.Take a moment to listen to this insightful episode and discover practical tips to navigate the challenges of parenting while prioritizing mental well-being.To find out more about our podcast guest click the links below.Your Parenting Mojo YouTube channel Tell Me What My Child Needs Quiz 10 questions to help you decode your child's behaviour so you can find and meet their #1 unmet need - making your life easier as wellLists of Feelings and Needs > Includes printable, picture-based versions for kids. Helps to incorporate the language of feelings and needs into daily conversations, so it's easier to understand and address children's resistance in a way that meets their needs

We loved connecting with friend and colleague, author and speaker Jen Lumanlan of Your Parenting Mojo about her new book, Parenting Beyond Power! ✨ Tune in to learn more about ways to use connection and collaboration to transform your family — and the world! Visit Jen's website for ways to purchase her book and check below, Oregon folx, for information on her book tour as it passes through at the end of October!

My guest today is Jen Lumanlan host of the popular podcast, Your Parenting Mojo, and author of the book Parenting Beyond Power: How to Use Connection and Collaboration to Transform Your Family - and the World.    After attending Berkeley and Yale and following a traditional career path in sustainability consulting, Jen found that parenting was her toughest challenge yet. She went back to school for a master's degree in psychology focused on child development and another in education, and trained as a Co-Active coach to share what she learned with other parents.   In the book, she shares about her own struggles as a child and a content warning here for bereavement and discussion of disordered eating. For my listeners who are people of the global majority, the book is written from the perspective of a white parent grappling with unlearning the use of dominance and other more subtle aspects of white supremacy culture. In this conversation, it does take a minute to get around to stating explicitly that white parents do not have the same parents as parents who are Black, or Indigenous or Asian or other oppressed identities. I want to assure you we do get around to that and also that it is front and centre throughout the book, and it's handled with nuance. It's an excellent book for folks who are actively seeking or maybe just starting to be curious about how to dismantle systems of oppression and unhook from supremacy culture and the use of dominance and coercion at the family and relational level.   Here's how you can get Jen's book through a gift economy approach: https://yourparentingmojo.com/book/ References Decolonizing Non-Violent Communication, Meenadchi Needy: How to Advocate for your Needs and Claim your Sovereignty, Mara Glatzel My Collapse 101 course is included with membership in The Numinous Network Stacy Lee Kong of Friday Things explains the coercive control at work in the Jonah Hill/Sarah Brady text exchange My social media post/explainer on coercive control Why Giving Choices Doesn't Work And What To Do Instead, Your Parenting Mojo Podcast Dismantling White Supremacy Culture in our Families, Amanda Gross White Supremacy Culture, Tema Okun Zawn Villines on Facebook and their substack, Liberating Motherhood: For mothers who are pissed off about sexism, household chore inequality, and endless misogynistic bullshit, and for the allies who want a better world for all of us How to Get Away with Parenting with Malaika Dowler Pervasive Drive for Autonomy, Tomlin Wilding No Self, No Problem: How Neuropsychology Is Catching Up to Buddhism, Chris Niebauer   Like this episode? Review the podcast!

In this episode, meet journalist Alyssa Ages, Your Parenting Mojo podcast host Jen Lumanlan, and video creator Daniel M. Jones. Tune in to hear each of these authors discuss what inspired them to write their audiobooks, and what they learned in the process of writing and recording. Secrets of Giants by Alyssa Ages: https://www.penguinrandomhouseaudio.com/book/707130/secrets-of-giants/ Parenting Beyond Power by Jen Lumanlan, MS, MEd: https://www.penguinrandomhouseaudio.com/book/729724/parenting-beyond-power/ Autism for Adults by Daniel M. Jones: https://www.penguinrandomhouseaudio.com/book/746559/autism-for-adults/

Jen Lumanlan is the host of Your Parenting Mojo podcast, which was named best research based parenting podcast by Lifehacker, and has been downloaded over 3 million times. After attending Berkeley and Yale and following a traditional career path in sustainability consulting, Jen found that parenting was her toughest challenge yet. She went back to school for a master's degree in psychology focused on child development, and another in education, and trained as a Co-active Coach to share what she learned with other parents. She is the author of the new book, Parenting Beyond Power: How to Use Connection and Collaboration to Transform your Family and the World. Jen also has a free quiz available for parents that helps you to identify the unmet need behind your child's behaviour and then some strategies to meet those needs which you can find here.Work with Julia Sign up for the FREE Workshop – Why You're Not Having SexConnect with Julia on Instagram

Do you feel like you are constantly ping-ponging between two extremes—throwing around your authority and overpowering your child or feeling like they're running the show?   Jen Lumanlan, the creator of Your Parenting Mojo and the author of the new book, Parenting Beyond Power: How to Use Connection and Collaboration to Transform Your Family—and the World, is helping parents learn how to embark on a journey towards harmonious family life and a better world!   Say goodbye to time-outs, countdowns, and punishments that perpetuate power imbalances. Instead, embrace empathetic listening, understanding your child's needs, and collaborative problem-solving. The result? Parents no longer feel like martyrs and children's behavioral problems often start to decrease.   If you're ready to transform your family life while shaping a brighter future for your children, then this episode is a must-listen!     I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show! ✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren ✨ Send an email to sarah@drsarahbren.com ✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources 

Is it possible to have a relationship with our children that is mutually respectful? How do we push against societal messages saying that being a parent means having no needs?In today's episode, Jen Lumanlan, the founder of "Your Parenting Mojo," is here to share her wisdom on meeting our needs and those of our children. Together, we delve into the delicate balance between safety and autonomy as parents, exploring how to set boundaries that respect our own needs while honoring our children's independence.Jen is a researcher, parenting coach, and author. After becoming a parent, she went back to school for a masters in education and psychology focusing on child development to better understand why parents and children face the challenges they do. Her podcast (named the best research-based parenting podcast by LifeHacker) and new book, “Parenting Beyond Power” discuss the societal influences that make parenting hard and why we shouldn't see problems as individual failings.Tune in to hear more about…How to communicate with our children and find solutions that truly benefit everyone involvedThe importance of involving the child in decision-makingThe exaggeration of safety risks and labeling things as safety issuesPerfectionism as a way of seeking love and acceptanceQuestioning perpetuation of harmful systems and seeking changeHang out with JenOrder Jen's BookVisit Jen's WebsiteFollow Jen on InstagramListen to Your Parenting Mojo on Apple Podcasts or SpotifyResources from this episodeTake Jen's needs quiz to learn about your needs as a parentand my needs quiz if you want my support in learning how to nourish your needsLove Needy? Pretty please subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify and leave a rating & review.Really love Needy? Join the Needy Podcast Inner Circle! Courses, discounts, quarterly Q&As and more for a one-time or monthly donation of any amount. Exclusively for folks who love the Needy podcast. THANK YOU.Your needs matter.

Conventional discipline methods like time-outs, countdowns, and “consequences” teach children that it's OK for more powerful people to control others—a lesson they take out into the world. This is how we learned White supremacy, patriarchy, and capitalism from our parents—and we will replicate this with our children unless we make a different choice. How do we make a different choice? Jen Lumanlan comes on to talk about her new book! If you enjoyed this episode, and it inspired you in some way, I'd love to hear about it and know your biggest takeaway. Take a screenshot of you listening on your device, post it to your Instagram stories, and tag me @mindfulmamamentor. Have you left a review yet? All you have to do is go to Apple Podcasts or  Stitcher (or wherever you listen), and thanks for your support of the show! Jen Lumanlan holds a Master's in Psychology focused on Child Development and another in Education. She hosts the research-based podcast Your Parenting Mojo, and is the author of the new book Parenting Beyond Power: How to Use Connection and Collaboration to Transform Your Family - and the World! Get Hunter's best selling book, Raising Good Humans now! Over 200,000 copies sold! Click here to order and get book bonuses! And now Hunter's newly released book, Raising Good Humans Every Day, is available to order! Click here to get your copy! ABOUT HUNTER CLARKE-FIELDS: Hunter Clarke-Fields is a mindful mama mentor. She coaches smart, thoughtful parents on how to create calm and cooperation in their daily lives. Hunter has over 20 years of experience in mindfulness practices. She has taught thousands worldwide. Be a part of the tribe—we're over 25 thousand strong! Join the Mindful Parenting membership. Take your learning further! Get my Top 2 Best Tools to Stop Yelling AND the Mindful Parenting Roadmap for FREE at: mindfulmamamentor.com/stopyelling/ Find more podcasts, blog posts, free resources, and how to work with Hunter at MindfulMamaMentor.com. We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://mindfulmamamentor.com/mindful-mama-podcast-sponsors/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Listener Kelsey posted in the Your Parenting Mojo Facebook community a while ago asking how she should respond when her child asks: "Why does Daddy have to go to work?" She got some great answers from community members...and yet there was also a lot more to explore. I asked her to record her question so I could answer it in an episode, so here it is! Of course, the issue of Daddy going to work has intersections with patriarchy as well...and many Your Parenting Mojo listeners of both/all genders work and probably hear this question from their children, so I adjusted the title of the episode a little. The episode looks at capitalism and how it impacts our families and other peoples' families...and how we can start to have conversations about that with our children. If you'd like to ask a question for me to answer in a future Q&A episode, please email a link to a video of you asking the question to support@yourparentingmojo.com, or go to yourparentingmojo.com/question and look for the Record A Question button. Jump to Highlights 00:58 Listener Kelsey asks how to honestly but age-appropriately answer the question, "Why does daddy

Recently, a number of parents in the Parenting Membership have posted in our community about challenges they've faced that they've navigated with grace that would have seemed insurmountable a couple of years ago. Many of these are parents of children who are already through the toddler stage, and the parents are starting to see the tools they've been using come alive in their interactions with their children. I thought: There's a podcast episode in that! I asked parents to submit short videos to me responding to the question: What do you wish you had known about parenting when your children were young? The resulting videos are collected, along with my commentary, in this week's episode. The insights that these parents offer are profound. I don't want to give too much away, but let's just say that you're not going to hear advice about a must-have crib or wipe warmer or toy. This is advice about: How we see ourselves What is our role as parents to guide our children without shaping them How we can be whole, fulfilled people ourselves when there's so much pressure on us to be a 'good parent' If you want to hear from parents who share your values and who have been in it for a while to know what's worth worrying about and what isn't, this episode is for you. Catch the FREE 90 minute Setting Loving (& Effective!) Limits masterclass on May 6! Did you miss the full Setting Limits workshop that's underway now? No problem - I've got you covered! Join me for a FREE 90-minute masterclass on Saturday May 6, from 10-11:30am Pacific. We'll give you all of the key tools you'll need to: Set limits your child will respect Set way fewer limits than you ever thought possible Learn how to meet your needs AND your child's needs to create the warm, joyful, collaborative relationship you want to have with your children We'll have a presentation, Q&A, live coaching of one lucky participant, and a valuable giveaway as well. The session will be recorded, but we'll only send the recording to people who register so do sign up even if you know you can't attend. Click the image below to learn more and sign up! Other episodes referenced in this episode: 079: What is RIE? 079: What is RIE? | Your Parenting Mojo 084: The Science of RIE 084: The Science of RIE | Your Parenting Mojo 085: White privilege in schools 085: White privilege in schools | Your Parenting Mojo SYPM 010: From anxious overwhelm to optimistic calm https://yourparentingmojo.com/captivate-podcast/anne/ Jump to highlights: (01:40) Introduction of this episode's topic (02:25) Jen admits that she didn't give much consideration to parenting before her daughter, Carys, was born (03:17) Jen shares how her journey into respectful parenting started through RIE  (04:42) Parent Elizabeth reflects on her experience and shares what she wished she had known about parenting

With my guest, a fellow podcaster, mom and parent coach Jen Lumanlan we took a deep dive into the many reasons (13 to be exact) why children don't listen, offered explanations and suggestions on exactly what to do about each one. It's super practical and helpful. Jen is the host of the Your Parenting Mojo podcast. She has created a handy infographic, whcih you can download at www.yourparentingmojo.com/authenticparenting We need to change the way we look at our kids' behaviors, ask better, more useful questions instead of moving through parenting on autopilot. SUPPORT THE SHOW, SHOW YOUR LOVE Become a patron on Patreon.com and join 20 exisiting memebers who contribute towards our monthly goal of $500.  Make a one-time donation in any amount to say “Thank you!” Rate or write a review FULL SHOW NOTES www.authenticparenting.com/podcast HOW TO WORK WITH ANNA I would be thrilled to support you in your parenting journey! All listeners get 10% off on my services. Private Coaching Online courses and classes GET IN TOUCH Comments, questions, feedback, and love notes  USA listeners call 732-763-2576 and leave a voicemail. International listeners use the FREE Speak Pipe tool on my website Email: info@authenticparenting.com STAY CONNECTED Instagram Facebook Group-Authentic Parenting Community Thank you for listening!  With gratitude, Anna Seewald Parent Educator, Keynote Speaker, Author www.authenticparenting.com    

Do you feel like you're at the end of your rope with trying to get your kids to behave? Jen Lumanlan takes us through the steps for getting at the root cause of our children's behavior - and the root cause of our negative reactions, too. Jen Lumanlan is the host of the Your Parenting Mojo podcast, which Lifehacker named "Best Research-Based Parenting Podcast." She runs a course called Taming Your Triggers, which helps parents to understand why they feel triggered and to feel triggered less often. Jen holds a Master's in Psychology focused on Child Development and another in Education. Jen, Amy, and Margaret discuss: How to determine your child's most frequent needs (and when to do it) Where hair ties come into the picture The importance of non-cognitive shifts While inserting a "slip of paper" between our emotional response and our actions is important, the best thing we can do for ourselves and our kids is heal the reasons we are triggered by specific things in the first place. Here's where you can find Jen: @yourparentingmojo on FB/IG www.yourparentingmojo.com "Your Parenting Mojo" Podcast Links! 13 Reasons Your Child Doesn't Listen (And What To Do About Each One) cheat sheet: https://www.yourparentingmojo.com/whatfreshhell Taming Your Triggers workshop: https://www.yourparentingmojo.com/tamingyourtriggers Our "Pattern Breaking" episode Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. Author Accelerator's Book Coach Certification program provides resources to help you launch your own thriving business coaching writers. Head to bookcoaches.com/podcasts to find out more. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. If you want to live a more empowered life, therapy can get you there. Visit BetterHelp.com/FRESH today to get 10% off your first month.  Hello Fresh is America's #1 Meal Kit. Go to HelloFresh.com/wfhpod65 and use code wfhpod65 for 65% off plus free shipping! Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants that meet your must-have requirements. Visit indeed.com/LAUGHING to start hiring now. Terms and conditions apply. You can try Peloton Tread risk-free with a 30-day home trial. New members only. Not available in remote locations. See additional terms at onepeloton.com/home-trial. Rakuten is an online shopping platform that gives you cash back when you shop at thousands of stores. Start shopping at rakuten.com or get the Rakuten app to start saving today. Ritual's Essential for Women 18+ is a multivitamin you can actually trust. Visit ritual.com/laughing to get 10% off during your first 3 months. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sign up for the email list to get the behind-the-scenes view.  https://www.subscribepage.com/kcmo Want to try a coaching call-- sign up for a free 30-minute call: https://calendly.com/christythomas/exploratory-call-free   Getting to the NEED with Jen Lumanlan Jen Lumanlan holds an M.S. in Psychology (Child Development) and an M.Ed., and hosts the Your Parenting Mojo podcast, which is a reference guide for parents of children under the age of 10 based on scientific research and the principles of respectful parenting. In each issue, she examines a topic related to parenting and child development from all sides to help parents understand how to make decisions about raising their children. She lives in California with her husband and daughter. Research Based Ideas to Help Kids Thrive | Your Parenting Mojo   Don't forget to check out Jen's free gift: 13 Reasons Why Your Child Does Not Listen | Your Parenting Mojo   Self-Care Idea:  Spending time in nature.  Slowing and softening while she looks for mushrooms with her daughter.   Family Fun Idea:  Many things can be fun if you are not multi-tasking. Give your full presence; it's a gift.   GOOD ENOUGH MOM SOCIETY (christythomascoaching.com) You are exactly the right mom for your kids.  I am so glad to know you.  Find me on Instagram at @everyday_runner_christy Don't forget to SUBSCRIBE to this podcast Don't forget to leave a rating or review.  Email me Play4life.Christy@gmail.com  Want to share a family play idea?  Want to give Christy feedback?   Leave a message here.         Find me on Instagram:  Happiest Mom You Know (@everyday_runner_christy) • Instagram photos and videos Don't forget to leave a rating or review. Email me Play4life.Christy@gmail.com 

This episode kicks off a series of new episodes that I'm very excited about, which is based on listeners' questions. My goal is to produce shorter episodes that cut across the research base to help you answer the questions that are on your mind about your child's behavior and development. Our first question comes from Dee in New Zealand, who wants to know: should she should do what her preschooler is asking and buy a pair of inflatable boxing gloves so he can hit her when he's feeling angry. Or would hitting a pillow be a better option? If you'd like to submit your own question, you can record a video of yourself asking it in two minutes or less, upload it to a platform like Drive or Dropbox, and send a link to it at support@yourparentingmojo.com. Alternatively you can go to the homepage and click the button to record your question for an audio-only option. Other episodes referenced in this episode: Episode 159, Supporting girls' relationships with Dr. Marnina Gonick Jump to highlights (02:18) Parent Dee's question about her child (04:02) The six things going on in the question (06:19) The Catharsis Theory (07:18) Pointing out the difference in terminology about anger and aggression (09:38) Most of the research has studied cognitive behavioral therapy as a treatment for anger and aggression (11:22) The difference between adults and children in navigating situations (13:10) Anger in girls and boys (14:42) Addressing the difficult behavior instead of the reason for the behavior (16:00) The importance of self-regulation in managing feelings of anger (17:06) Most of us didn't have great role models for how to cope with anger (22:23) Things to do to help a child regulate their feelings [accordion] [accordion-item title="Click here to read the full transcript"] Jen Lumanlan 00:10 Hello and welcome to the Your Parenting Mojo podcast. And today I'm launching the first in a series of new episodes called Q&A. And my goal here is to take short questions from listeners and turn them into concise episodes that you can listen to for quick answers. When you have a specific question and you just want to know the answer to that question. I realize that it takes me a couple of weeks to research an average episode, and it takes you all a fairly long time to listen to it as well. And I know that while some folks really want to go in deep on learning about a specific topic, very often you just...

Parenting is overwhelming and unpredictable. Even in the best of times we can find ourselves reacting instead of responding to our kid's big emotions or perceived disobedience. We know that we are in charge of our internal landscape but often that feels much easier said than executed. Today Felica chats with host of Your Parenting Mojo, Jen Lumanlan about how we can identify and tame our internal triggers to create healthier relationships with our kids. This work often involves delving into our personal BIG T or little t trauma as well as "trauma" that is less obvious; we discuss how we can work with these triggers and how to do so in a safe space. We walk through 13 common reasons our kids "don't listen" and strategies for navigating this as well! If you would like to dive deeper you can find the PDF HERE! You can find more from Jen @yourparentingmojo RELATED EPISODES Authoritative Parenting / Arguably the most EFFECTIVE Parenting Style Holding Boundaries / Discipline Pt. 1 Systems and Values for Easier Days and Stronger Family Connections Parenting with Unconditional Love How to Embrace Childhood Review of the Week from Sydnee So good!! I love how supportive and inspiring this podcast is, and I love that each person brings their own perspective on things! --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/findthemagic/support

Dr. Carole Keim explains all the toddler behavior you can expect at different ages between ages one and three. She goes through all main behavior and ability changes and gets to the heart of why toddlers are acting in the way they are. The more understanding you have of why children are behaving in a certain way, the easier it is to see things from their point of view. Dr. Keim offers tips and tricks for navigating the word no, the repeated question why, three year old defiance, and other notable toddler behaviors. It will be difficult, they tend to push all your buttons while learning boundaries, but Dr. Keim will make you feel more confident in your navigation. In this episode:1-1.5 yo1.5-2 yo2 yo3 yoResources1-1.5 yo  00:37Starting to be able to do things for themselvesJust starting to walk/talk, can feed themselvesDon't have a lot of opinions/preferences yet Stranger anxiety - most will stay within sight of a parentFairly easy behaviorParents: this is an ideal time to take a parenting class together1.5-2yo  07:03Can walk, use some words, pick things up off the floor / get things for themselves Separation anxiety, strong attachment to parent - explores with a parent nearbyMimickingWant to try things for themselves, show off Trying out their independence Learn how to use the word “no”Advocate for themselvesMost wants are actually needsStart having some opinions and preferences but can't express them yet Offer 2 suitable choices Empathy2yo  13:21Run / run away Say noLike attention (any kind) - spend 10 mins/day in child-led play Struggle with transitions, have no sense of time Can understand sequence a little bit - when/then statements Want to experience things for themselves - natural consequences Empathy, choices still 3yo  18:30Drama - know about emotion, how to tell stories, have very active imaginations, are egocentric Start expressing a wide range of emotions Understand that their actions impact others but don't understand empathy/theory of mind yet Ask “why?” repeatedly - attempt to connect Test boundaries to see where they areTest consequences to look for cause-and-effect See how much they can get away with (testing that you still love them)As above (when/then statements, natural consequences, empathy, choices) plus modeling how to handle anger/frustration, anger wheel of choice, logical consequencesThis guide is all about toddlers and why they behave in the way they do. For additional tips and advice on babies and toddlers, follow Dr. Carole Keim on her TikTok and YouTube channels. Her book, “The Baby Manual”, covers the first year of baby life and is the subject of Season One of this podcast. Remember it is always okay to call your doctor or emergency services if you have concerns about your child's health.   Resources discussed in this episode:The Baby Manual - Available on AmazonSubscribe to this podcast Your Parenting Mojo podcast by Jen Lumenlan healthychildren.orgLove and LogicBringing Baby HomeAnger Wheel of Choice--Dr. Carole Keim MD: linktree | tiktok | instagram

Every feel flooded? Triggered? Too emotionally hijacked to respond calmly to yourkids' big feelings and challenging behaviors? Join our conversation with Jen Lumanlan of Your Parenting Mojo to talk about ways to calm our minds and bodies so we don't keep losing our shit on our kids!Jen explores ways we can stop cycles of trauma and begin healing through our parenting practices. Her Taming Your Triggers Workshop is LIVE! This is the course we ALL need to be able to lean in with calm clarity to support our kids through their big feelings and challenging behaviors. CLICK TO LEARN MORE! Sliding scale pricing available -- Doors close this coming Wednesday, October 12th!Taming Your Triggers is a research-based approach that provides a solid foundation of tools and provides support, a nonjudgmental presence, and even lasting friendship through the community.When you join the Taming Your Triggers workshop, you'll learn:✔️What is a trigger, and how to identify yours✔️How to help your child WANT to cooperate with you, so you don't have to lose your cool✔️Where triggers come from - examining previously experienced trauma, as well as the stresses of daily life✔️How to use mindfulness (in just a few minutes a day!) to help you avoid being triggered in the first place, and respond more effectively when you are occasionally still triggered✔️How to recognize when you're in frame of mind that makes you susceptible to feeling triggered, and take specific steps to make yourself more trigger-proofCLICK TO LEARN MORE! Sliding scale pricing available -- Doors close Wednesday October 12th!Relevant Links:- Our Shop - GUIDES + PRINTS!- Our Resources Page- Our Coaching page- Amber Okamura, Upbringing's Artist- Mary Schroeder, Upbringing's Letterer- Alex Olavarria, our producer, musician, editor + husband/brother in lawVisit our website, www.upbringing.co to learn more about us and sign up for our newsletter! We want to hear your thoughts. We care deeply about what you think and how you're doin', so get in touch -- we're better together.Email us: info@upbringing.coFollow Upbringing on Instagram: @upbringing.coJoin us to explore topics such as: parenting, motherhood, discipline, resistance, RIE parenting, feminist parenting, toddlers, tantrums, potty training, mindful parenting, conscious parenting, evidence-based parenting, positive parenting, respectful parenting, simplicity parenting and positive discipline.

Today I'm sitting down with Jen Lumanlan, the host of the Your Parenting Mojo podcast to talk about why we get mad at our kids and what we can learn about our own triggers when we do. This is a revolutionary way to look at parenting and sheds a whole new light on how to show up bigger for ourselves and our kids. Doing a deeper dive into our vices can help us learn so much about ourselves and what it is that we are hiding from -- and learning why they are there is the first step in actually letting go of them. How to Make Your First $1,000 on TikTok: https://www.reneebenes.com/pl/2147612120 105+ Things to Declutter: https://thefunsizedlife.ck.page/62cdedc528 How to Tame Triggers Around Your Child's Behavior: https://yourparentingmojo.com/triggersmasterclass/?oprid=2130&ref=15368

Today's guest on the podcast is Jen Lumanlan, the host of the Your Parenting Mojo podcast, a reference guide for parents of young children based on scientific research and the principles of respectful parenting. In this interview, Jen and I talk about the impact of different types of trauma on parenting and what she calls the "trauma of unmet needs." We discuss how understanding our own needs and the needs of our children can help us problem-solve in situations when we feel triggered. And you'll hear Jen answer an email I received from a mom wanting to help her son struggling with ADHD and ODD. Tune in for this information-packed episode that's sure to give you several insights and ideas to help you with your parenting. Get full show notes and information at www.lessdramamoremama.com/216

Ever been triggered by your child's behavior? It can feel uncontrollable. No matter how hard we try to hold ourselves back when our child behaves a certain way, it immediately puts us into triggered mode. Jen Lumanlan addressed this in her talk at my recent Parenting is Revolutionary conference. Jen holds an MS in Psychology (Child Development) and is the host of the Your Parenting Mojo podcast. She is an amazing reference guide for parents of young kids and shares great parenting advice based on scientific research and the principles of respectful parenting.  In this episode, I'm sharing a snippet of Jen's talk from the conference. She shares a little more about her background and experience with parenting triggers and teaches us how to tame these emotions when they come up. This topic is extremely important for parents at this time so tune in to learn from Jen.   Show Highlights: Where triggered feelings come from. The window of tolerance. Big T trauma and little T trauma. The many different fronts we have to heal on to tame our parenting triggers. How to get more of your daily needs met. How to widen your window of tolerance. Physical habits you can implement to remind yourself to pause. Why it's important to share our authentic feelings with our children. The different triggers that come with having toddlers, adolescents, and teenagers. What it means to feel flooded.   Links (affiliates included): Jen's website - https://www.parentingmojo.com/ Parenting is Revolutionary Conference Recordings: https://www.parentingforwardconference.com/2022-sessions Parenting After Religious Trauma Membership - https://cindy-brandt.mykajabi.com/partmembership Help keep the podcast going by joining the Parenting Forward Patreon Team - https://www.patreon.com/cindywangbrandt Parenting Forward, the Book - https://amzn.to/3g0LJPn1Little  You Are Revolutionary - https://www.beamingbooks.com/store/product/9781506478302/You-Are-Revolutionary   *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

Every feel flooded? Triggered? Too emotionally hijacked to respond calmly to your kids' big feelings and challenging behaviors? Join our conversation with Jen Lumanlan of Your Parenting Mojo to talk about ways to calm our minds and bodies so we don't keep losing our shit on our kids!Jen explores ways we can stop cycles of trauma and begin healing through our parenting practices. Her Taming Your Triggers Course is LIVE! This is the course we ALL need to be able to lean in with calm clarity to support our kids through their big feelings and challenging behaviors. CLICK TO LEARN MORE! Sliding scale pricing available -- Doors close Wednesday, February 23rd!Taming Your Triggers is a research-based approach that provides a solid foundation of tools and provides support, a nonjudgmental presence, and even lasting friendship through the community.When you join the Taming Your Triggers workshop, you'll learn:- What is a trigger, and how to identify yours- How to help your child WANT to cooperate with you, so you don't have to lose your cool- Where triggers come from - examining previously experienced trauma, as well as the stresses of daily life- How to use mindfulness (in just a few minutes a day!) to help you avoid being triggered in the first place, and respond more effectively when you are occasionally still triggered- How to recognize when you're in frame of mind that makes you susceptible to feeling triggered, and take specific steps to make yourself more trigger-proofCLICK TO LEARN MORE! Sliding scale pricing available -- Doors close Wednesday February 23rd!Join us to realign your personal values with your daily parenting practices when it comes to supporting your kid's big feelings + challenging behaviors. We'll build skills, connection and solidarity together over four 2-hour sessions. Head on over to our link in bio or www.Upbringing.co/smallgroupcoaching to learn more…Tune in and connect on our LIVE Q&As every week on Instagram. Catch up on past LIVE session on our IGTV tab. As always, we laugh, we cry, we lean in… join us!Relevant Links:- Our Freedoms Model- Our RESIST Approach- Our Shop - GUIDES + PRINTS!- Our Resources Page- Our Coaching page- Amber Okamura, Upbringing's Artist- Mary Schroeder, Upbringing's Letterer- Alex Olavarria, our producer, musician, editor + husband/brother in lawVisit our website, www.upbringing.co to learn more about us and sign up for our newsletter! We want to hear your thoughts. We care deeply about what you think and how you're doin', so get in touch -- we're better together.Email us: info@upbringing.coFollow Upbringing on Instagram: @upbringing.coJoin us to explore topics such as: parenting, motherhood, discipline, resistance, RIE parenting, feminist parenting, toddlers, tantrums, potty training, mindful parenting, conscious parenting, evidence-based parenting, positive parenting, respectful parenting, simplicity parenting and positive discipline.

EP165. Jen is the creator behind Your Parenting Mojo. In this episode she tells us about the intersection of social justice (capitalism, patriarchy, and white supremacy) and parenting. Why are we so triggered or flooded by our children's behaviours? Renee sheds a tear in this one! RENEE REINA Instagram: @themomroompodcast | @reneereina_ The Mom Room Shop TikTok: @reneereina_ Facebook Community JEN LUMANLAN Instagram: @yourparentingmojo Podcast: Your Parenting Mojo Website: www.yourparentingmojo.com Youtube: Your Parenting Mojo SPONSORS Magic Mind. The Adventures of Cairo by Wondery. Dipsea. Organifi. Once Upon a Farm. Dooney & Bourke. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Feeling triggered by your kids' big feelings and challenging behaviors? Doors are open for the Taming Your Triggers Workshop by Your Parenting Mojo! We LOVE taking this workshop and can't recommend it enough to our community.This is the last week to sign up… Learn more about the amazing elements of the workshop HERE! We are so excited to begin with you, so make sure to register by Feb 23!Taming Your Triggers is a 10-week workshop for parents who have big reactions to their child's (mis)behavior, and who want to change their interactions with their child.  Instead of focusing on the child's behavior, the workshop helps parents to understand the true sources of their triggered feelings (which often lie in the trauma they've experienced as children), begin to heal themselves, and learn more effective ways to interact with their children in difficult moments.Each week they receive a short module of content to read and a homework assignment.  They join a supportive online community (not on Facebook!) and have the option to pair up with a partner to hold each other (gently!) accountable to achieve the benefits they sign up for.LEARN MORE HERE! Register by February 23rd!Join us to realign your personal values with your daily parenting practices when it comes to supporting your kid's big feelings + challenging behaviors. We'll build skills, connection and solidarity together over four 2-hour sessions. Head on over to our link in bio or www.Upbringing.co/smallgroupcoaching to learn more…Tune in and connect on our LIVE Q&As every week on Instagram. Catch up on past LIVE session on our IGTV tab. As always, we laugh, we cry, we lean in… join us!Relevant Links:- Our Freedoms Model- Our RESIST Approach- Our Shop - GUIDES + PRINTS!- Our Resources Page- Our Coaching page- Amber Okamura, Upbringing's Artist- Mary Schroeder, Upbringing's Letterer- Alex Olavarria, our producer, musician, editor + husband/brother in lawVisit our website, www.upbringing.co to learn more about us and sign up for our newsletter! We want to hear your thoughts. We care deeply about what you think and how you're doin', so get in touch -- we're better together.Email us: info@upbringing.coFollow Upbringing on Instagram: @upbringing.coJoin us to explore topics such as: parenting, motherhood, discipline, resistance, RIE parenting, feminist parenting, toddlers, tantrums, potty training, mindful parenting, conscious parenting, evidence-based parenting, positive parenting, respectful parenting, simplicity parenting and positive discipline.

Jen Lumanlan holds a Masters in Psychology in Child Development and hosts the Your Parenting Mojo podcast, which is a reference guide for parents of children between the toddler and elementary years based on scientific research and the principles of respectful parenting. In each episode, she examines a topic related to parenting and child development from all sides to help parents understand how to make decisions about raising their children. She lives in California with her husband and daughter. This is Jen's second time on the show. She is back this time to talk about taming your triggers in parenting, which is a very timely topic, like every parent I know is feeling especially spread thin and beyond exhausted after enduring the last two years. We dig into the concept of parenting triggers and then Jen coaches me about a trigger that is very front and center in my own parenting journey right now. Please enjoy hearing me get uncomfortable!  Listen in to hear Jen share: Why you're feeling triggered by your child's behavior How your parenting triggers might be connected to your own “little t” traumas or “big T” traumas of your past How your own trauma of unmet needs impacts your parenting The “magic bullet” to help you manage guilt and shame in hard parenting moments Coaching me through raising an extrovert who likes to be really loud all the time Scripts you can use to navigate conversations with your child so you can both get your needs met in hard moments The connection between our parenting and smashing the patriarchy The value in practicing repairing your relationship with your child after having a hard moment How to work with her (and me!) in her 10-week workshop, Taming Your Triggers Links mentioned: Sign up for Jen's free Masterclass on February 12th: How to Tame Your Triggers Around Your Child's Difficult Behavior: shamelessmom.com/triggers Join me and enroll in Jen's 10-week workshop, Taming Your Triggers between February 13th-23rd: shamelessmom.com/taming Book: Set Boundaries, Find Peace Please find our sponsor information here: shamelessmom.com/sponsor/

When our children do (often age-appropriate!) things that drive us up the wall, our instinctive reaction is often to MAKE IT STOP! But the real reason we feel triggered by our child's behavior is not the thing they're doing; it's because of trauma we've experienced ourselves. In this episode we'll learn how we can understand and heal from that trauma, so we can show up in relationships with our children in a way that's aligned with our values. In this episode, we discuss: Why we have such a hard time when our children misbehave. Some of the most common ways that overwhelmed parents react to their children's behavior. How intergenerational trauma affects our relationships with our children. Tools you can use to respond to your child's behavior, instead of reacting. How to repair a relationship with your child after you've reacted in a way that isn't aligned with your values. About Jen Jen Lumanlan holds a Masters degree in Psychology (Child Development) and a Masters in Education, she hosts the Your Parenting Mojo podcast which is a reference guide for parents of children aged between the toddler and preschooler years based on scientific research and the principles of respectful parenting. In each episode she examines a topic related to parenting and child development from all sides to help parents understand how to make decisions about raising their children. She lives in California with her husband and daughter. Connect with Jen Website Facebook Instagram YouTube Learn more about the FamilyPreneur Business Accelerator and join today at »familypreneur.co« I'm committed to building an inclusive and anti-racist business. I support LGBTQIA+ rights and the rights of all intersectional identities. I believe that business should be a force for dismantling systems of oppression and actively invest in my own learning to fulfill this role. »Read My Full DEI Statement HERE« Would you like to deliver your own private podcast feed to your audience? Sign up for a free trial today at Hello Audio.

Have you noticed yourself having a short fuse with the people you love the most? From your significant other, to parents or your children?In this episode Olivia interviews Jen Lumanlan.Jen holds an M.S. in Psychology (Child Development) and an M.Ed., and hosts the Your Parenting Mojo podcast which is a reference guide for parents of children aged between the toddler and elementary years based on scientific research and the principles of respectful parenting.In each episode she examines a topic related to parenting and child development from all sides to help parents understand how to make decisions about raising their children.What you'll learn in this episode;How Jen started Your Parenting Mojo. The feeling of being triggered vs. being flooded when you find yourself exploding at someoneThe difference between Big T Trauma and little t trauma. How to create space to respond after being triggered instead of just reacting in a way you know you'll regret laterJen's theory about how we don't really need control, and that our sense that we 'need' control covers up our fearsOlivia sits on the hot seat and talks about her personal triggers and her childhood trauma - and how she can stop snapping at her husband when he suggests ways for Olivia to improve her podcast editing workflow that Olivia already knows won't work for. Free How to tame your triggers around your child's behavior masterclass: https://www.yourparentingmojo.com/TheEmpoweredWomanFreeMasterclassTaming Your Triggers workshop: https://www.yourparentingmojo.com/TheEmpoweredWomanTYTWorkshop

If you're usually a calm and reasonable person, it can be very confusing when that calm vanishes the moment your child frustrates you. At first we think, if my child would just stop doing that I would be fine. But the truth is there's an underlying fear your child's behavior is triggering and it usually comes from a trauma in your own childhood. Maybe not a huge trauma, maybe a small way that you learned to set aside your needs. And when your child behaves in this way it triggers those same feelings of not having your needs met. Jen Lumanlan is on the podcast today to share with us how we can defuse and regulate our reactions while giving ourselves grace and kindness. Jen Lumanlan holds an M.S. in Psychology (Child Development) and an M.Ed., and hosts the Your Parenting Mojo podcast which is a reference guide for parents of toddlers and preschoolers based on scientific researchers and the principles of respectful parenting.  In each episode she examines a topic related to parenting and child development from all sides to help parents understand how to make decisions about raising their children.  She lives in California with her husband and daughter. Connect with Jen Lumanlan http://www.yourparentingmojo.com (www.yourparentingmojo.com) Join us LIVE each week in our Facebook Group … https://www.facebook.com/groups/blissfulparenting (https://www.facebook.com/groups/blissfulparenting) Connect with Blissful Parenting: Free Workshop ► https://www.blissfulparentingworkshop.com (https://www.BlissfulParentingWorkshop.com)  Website ► http://www.theblissfulparent.com/ (http://www.TheBlissfulParent.com/)  Blog ► http://www.theblissfulparent.com/blog (http://www.TheBlissfulParent.com/blog)  Podcast ► http://www.theblissfulparent.com/podcast/ (http://www.TheBlissfulParent.com/podcast/)  Contact ►http://www.blissfulparenting.com/contact (http://www.BlissfulParenting.com/contact)  Follow Us On Social Media: Youtube ► https://www.youtube.com/theblissfulparent (https://www.youtube.com/theblissfulparent)   Facebook ► https://www.facebook.com/theblissfulparent (https://www.facebook.com/theblissfulparent)   Instagram ► https://www.instagram.com/theblissfulparent/ (https://www.instagram.com/theblissfulparent/)   Twitter ►https://twitter.com/blissfulparent (https://twitter.com/blissfulparent)   Thanks for listening! Thanks so much for listening to our podcast! If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it using the social media buttons on this page. Do you have some feedback or questions about this episode? Leave a note in the comment section below! Subscribe to the podcast If you would like to get automatic updates of new podcast episodes, you can subscribe to the podcast on iTunes or Stitcher. You can also subscribe to the podcast app on your mobile device. Leave us an iTunes review Ratings and reviews from our listeners are extremely valuable to us and greatly appreciated. They help our podcast rank higher on iTunes, which exposes our show to more awesome listeners like you. If you have a minute, please leave an honest review on iTunes.

This episode continues our conversation on the topic of children and food.  A few months ago we heard from https://yourparentingmojo.com/captivate-podcast/eating/ (Dr. Lindo Bacon about how the things we've learned about obesity might not actually be the whole story).  Then we talked https://yourparentingmojo.com/captivate-podcast/dor/ (with Ellyn Satter about the approach she devised called Division of Responsibility), which holds the parent/caregiver responsible for the what, when, and where of eating and the child responsible for whether and how much.   We followed that with a https://yourparentingmojo.com/captivate-podcast/sugarproof/ (conversation with Dr. Michael Goran, a world-renowned expert on the impact of sugar on our bodies, and specifically on children's bodies) – and co-author of the book SugarProof.  While the research seems to indicate that consuming large amounts of sugar isn't necessarily the best thing for us, when I dug into the original papers that form the backbone of SugarProof I found that the results didn't always seem to be quite as large as the book indicated.   In this episode we take another look at sugar – this time from the perspective of sociologist https://essl.leeds.ac.uk/sociology/staff/53/dr-karen-throsby (Dr. Karen Throsby).  Dr. Thorsby received her BA in English Language and Literature from Lincoln College, Oxford, and a MSc in Gender and later a Ph.D from the London School of Economics.  She is currently  an Associate Professor in Gender Studies at the University of Leeds, and is writing a book entitled Sugar Rush: Science, Obesity, and the Social Life of Sugar.  For the book, she is analyzing over 500 UK newspaper articles about sugar, as well as policy documents, scientific publications, popular science articles, self-help literature, and documentaries.  She wants to understand what happens when we demonize sugar as ‘public enemy number one,' and along with it the fat body.  She doesn't aim to determine the ‘truth' about sugar or offer prescriptions about what people should eat, but instead think about how this debate relates to how scientific knowledge is produced, validated, and appropriated, panics about health and body size, the role of generation, gender, race, and class, and the lived inequalities associated with food.   Shownotes: (02:10) Introducing Dr. Throsby (03:22) One of your big focuses is on the idea of sugar being addictive.  Can you tell us why you start there?  What does it mean to be addicted to something, and can we be addicted to sugar? (09:46) We have to be really careful with any attempt to define addiction because some people and certain groups of people are seen as more liable to be seduced by sugar than others (12:18) The neuroscientific model of addiction recognizes that addiction is more than a failure of will and morals but also factors in biological vulnerability which can affect some people more than others (15:10) The idea that you could stop consuming sugar if you wanted to is part of the problem in the way that sugar is being figured because it ignores the social context within which consumption occurs (21:18) The reason the book is called Sugar Rush is obviously it's a play on the idea of having a lot of sugar, but also about the rush to blame sugar (22:04) Sugar is often referred to as empty calories but actually, it's a category of food that is absolutely laden with meaning that I think is really important   Other episodes mentioned in this episode: https://yourparentingmojo.com/captivate-podcast/sugarproof/ (145: How to Sugarproof your kids with Dr. Michael Goran)   Links: https://yourparentingmojo.com/subscribe/ (Subscribe to the show) https://yourparentingmojo.com/recordtheintro/ (Record the intro to Your Parenting Mojo :))   Resource Links:...

Every feel flooded? Triggered? Too emotionally hijacked to put your new parenting values and skills into practice? Join our conversation with Jen Lumanlan of Your Parenting Mojo to talk about ways to calm our minds and bodies so we don't keep losing our shit on our kids!Jen explores ways we can stop cycles of trauma and begin healing through our parenting practices. Her Taming Your Triggers Course is LIVE! This is the course we ALL need to be able to lean in with calm clarity to support our kids through their big feelings and challenging behaviors. CLICK TO LEARN MORE! Sliding scale pricing available -- Doors close August 11th!Taming Your Triggers is a research-based approach that provides a solid foundation of tools and provides support, a nonjudgmental presence, and even lasting friendship through the community.When you join the Taming Your Triggers workshop, you'll learn:- What is a trigger, and how to identify yours- Where triggers come from - examining previously experienced trauma, as well as the stresses of daily life- How to use mindfulness (in just a few minutes a day!) to help you avoid being triggered in the first place, and respond more effectively when you are occasionally still triggered- How to recognize when you're in frame of mind that makes you susceptible to feeling triggered, and take specific steps to make yourself more trigger-proof- How to help your child WANT to cooperate with you, so you don't have to lose your coolCLICK TO LEARN MORE! Sliding scale pricing available -- Doors close August 11th!SPIRITED KIDS CLUB! LEARN MORE + GRAB YOUR SPOT FOR AUGUST OR SEPTEMBER -- Booking is limited!Tune in and connect on our LIVE Q&As, every Tuesday at 5PM PST on Instagram. Catch up on past LIVE session on our IGTV tab. As always, we laugh, we cry, we lean in… join us!Relevant Links:- Our Freedoms Model- Our RESIST Approach- Our Shop - GUIDES + PRINTS!- Our Resources Page- Our Coaching page- Amber Okamura, Upbringing's Artist- Mary Schroeder, Upbringing's Letterer- Alex Olavarria, our producer, musician, editor + husband/brother in lawContact us! We want to hear your thoughts. We care deeply about what you think and how you're doin', so get in touch -- we're better together.Email us: info@upbringing.coFollow Upbringing on Instagram: @upbringing.coJoin us to explore topics such as: parenting, motherhood, discipline, resistance, RIE parenting, feminist parenting, toddlers, tantrums, potty training, mindful parenting, conscious parenting, evidence-based parenting, positive parenting, respectful parenting, simplicity parenting and positive discipline.

Our Right From The Start online course doors open TODAY!We loved sitting down with Jen Lumanlan of Your Parenting Mojo and chatting all things babies and new parenthood, whether it's your first or fifth child!Our Right From The Start video course and community will bring you both the reassurance AND information you need in your baby's first year to make the decisions that are uniquely right for your family. ✨ No prescribed rules, no perfection to attain… Just the essentials to help you move forward with clarity and confidence.In nine modules over eight weeks, Right from the Start will help you to:✔️ Understand what scientific research says about baby's sleep, attachment, feeding, play and other essential topics✔️ Know that you're doing the best you can for your baby's development✔️ Find your sense of yourself again (or maintain it if you're not yet a parent!)✔️ Let go of the overwhelm and worry that there isn't enough of you to go around✔️ Get clear on how to parent your baby with alignment of your greater values✔️ Find support and strength in a community of like-minded parents and parents-to-be Not just focused on quick fixes for daily challenges, this course will help you lay the critical groundwork for a lifelong relationship with your child based in trust, collaboration and respect. ✨ If you're expecting or are the parent of a child under 1, the Right from the Start course is for you.Click HERE to learn more… ✨ DOORS CLOSE WEDNESDAY JUNE 30TH! Sliding scale pricing is available, and no-one is turned away for lack of funds.

Many of us haven't been in each other's homes for a while now, but pretty soon we'll be getting together inside again. And our children will be heading inside, in their friends' houses.   People store guns inside.   Are you certain that nobody owns a gun in any of the places your child plays?   If they do own a gun, are you certain they store it safely?   If not, you need to ask.   That's one issue we discuss in this interview with Dr. Nina Agrawal, a board-certified pediatrician who has expertise in violence against children. She co-founded the Gun Safety Committee for the American Academy of Pediatrics in New York State, and is leading the Gun Violence Prevention Task Force for the American Medical Women's Association.   Another issue is the gun violence that is primarily faced by children of color, which turns out to affect a far greater number of children.   And how is this all linked to the Peloton recall? You'll have to listen in to find out...   Jump to highlights here: (01:00) Indoor playdates are ramping up...will your child be safe? (02:29) Introducing Dr. Nina Agrawal, pediatrician and co-founder of the American Academy of Pediatrics' Gun Safety Committee in New York State (02:58) Understanding how big is the scope of gun violence against children (06:15) The Dickey Amendment: Explaining the massive lack of data and research on gun violence and safety (11:24) The ways that gun violence affects children that we might not expect (12:32) “I get woken up at night to the sound of gunshots.” (17:09) The racial disparity in how children are affected by gun violence (20:46) More people purchased guns in 2020, and there are more first-time owners too (23:39) The statistical likelihood of children coming to harm if they live with a firearm in their household (27:00) Just telling kids not to touch guns doesn't work (even if you think of your child as one who is 'sensible,' and you've talked with them about gun safety) (30:45) The Asking Saves Kids Campaign helps to keep kids safer (33:06) The surprising link between children involved in gun violence and the Peloton treadmill recall (36:07) In American culture, banning all guns can't be the answer (40:52) Effective Child Access Laws (41:45) How to create safer environments for children through building communities [accordion] [accordion-item title="Click here to read the full transcript"] Jen Lumanlan 00:02 Hi, I'm Jen and I host the Your Parenting Mojo Podcast.   Jen Lumanlan 00:06 We all want her children to lead fulfilling lives, but it can be so hard to keep up with the latest scientific research on child development and figure out whether and how to incorporate it into our own approach to parenting. Here at Your Parenting Mojo, I do the work for you by critically examining strategies and tools related to parenting and child development that are grounded in scientific research on principles of respectful parenting. If you'd like to be notified when new episodes are released, and get a free guide called 13 Reasons Why Your Child Won't Listen To You & What To Do About Each One, just head over to YourParentingMojo.com/SUBSCRIBE. You can also continue the conversation about the show with other listeners in the Your Parenting Mojo Facebook group. I do hope you'll join us.   Jen Lumanlan 01:00 Hello, and welcome to the Your Parenting Mojo Podcast. And today we're going to discuss a topic that I think is about to come into parents' consciousness in a way that it really hasn't as much over the last year. And for some of us, that's a result of our privilege. And I was reflecting that as vaccinations for children become more available, we're probably going to start moving towards indoor play dates without parents being around because when my daughter went into when we went into sort of lockdown, she was young enough that she wasn't...

You put a lot of time and energy into learning about pregnancy and preparing for birth. Once you cross that finish line and are holding your baby, a whole new adventure begins. Although being a parent is a lifelong journey, you can get started on the right track now. Learn about evidence-based parenting on some of the most important things for the first year. This episode covers topics like attachment, sleep, and play. Plus, some research-based tactics to make sure you are nurturing yourself as a parent and meeting your own needs as you build a relationship with your baby. Thank you to Jen Lumanlan for sharing her expertise for this episode. Jen Lumanlan is the host of the Your Parenting Mojo podcast. She interviews all the best experts in parenting and child development. Jen is so much more than a podcast host. She focuses on a rigorous research-based approach and has multiple master's degrees, including psychology and education. Jen is a pro at digging through research and applying principles of respectful parenting to help parents and kids thrive. You can learn more about Jen by visiting the Your Parenting Mojo website. Jen Lumanlan is my #1 resource for all things parenting. She teamed up with Hannah and Kelty from Upbringing to create the Right from the Start course. This course walks you through everything you need to navigate the first year of your baby's life. It covers challenges with sleep, attachment, feeding, siblings, your own sense of self as a person - and so much more! You can click here to grab the free roadmap that walks you through the entire framework of this course. If you decide you need more support, take advantage of 15% off the Right from the Start course with the code PREGNANCYPODCAST. (The first open enrollment is from 6/19 to 6/30/21. It is only offered four times per year.)   You can see the full transcript and resources that accompany this episode by clicking here.   For more evidence-based information, visit the Pregnancy Podcast website.

We are excited to announce that Season 3 is on its way, and with it a new format! In this episode *for parents* we discuss advertising on kids podcasts, data on kids listening habits from the non-profit organization Kids Listen, express heartfelt appreciation for our audience and announce upcoming Patreon requests. To kick things off, we could really use your help to better understand our audience! Please share some anonymous information with us by taking this three-minute survey: http://bit.ly/earpodsurvey . For more information on Dr. Esther Rosendaal's work on kids and advertising, listen to her on this episode of "Your Parenting Mojo." If you want to learn more about Ear Snacks or how to be on the show, visit earsnacks.org.

New parents often worry about attachment to their baby - will I be able to build it? My baby cries a lot - does that mean that we aren't attached? If I put my baby in daycare, will they get attached to the daycare staff rather than to me? Based on the ideas about attachment that have been circulated over the years, these are entirely valid concerns. But it turns out that not only should we not worry about these things, but the the research that these ideas were based in was highly flawed. It's often forgotten that attachment theory was developed in the period after World War II, when policymakers were trying to get women out of the jobs they had held during the war, and back into their 'natural' place in the home. In one of his earliest papers Dr. John Bowlby - the so-called Father of Attachment Theory - described 44 children who had been referred to his clinic for stealing, and compared these with children who had not stolen anything. He reported that the thieves had been separated from their parents during childhood, which led them to have a low sense of self-worth and capacity for empathy. He went on to say that “to deprive a small child of his mother's companionship is as bad as depriving him of vitamins.” But much later in his life, Bowlby revealed that he had conflated a whole lot of kinds of separation into that one category – everything between sleeping in a different room to being abandoned in an orphanage. And in addition to being separated, many of the thieves had also experienced physical or sexual abuse. The fear that spending time apart from your baby will damage them in some way is just not supported by the evidence. What other common beliefs do we hold about attachment relationships that aren't supported by evidence? Well, quite a lot, as it turns out! Listen in for more.     Jump to highlights: (03:30) Download the free Right From The Start Roadmap (06:11) Dr. John Bowlby, who is known as the founder of attachment theory (06:40) A brief overview of attachment theory (08:06) What is attachment theory (09:44) A closer look at the word attachment (12:55) Five aspects out of Freud's psychoanalytic theory (14:32) 44 Juvenile Thieves - One of the major ideas about separation from parents (17:50) What is the word monotrophy (18:49) The four dimensions that distinguish African-American views of motherhood from American views by Dr. Patricia Hill Collins (20:49) Aka Pygmy tribe in Africa (21:37) What is PIC or Parental Investment in the child Questionnaire by Dr. Robert Bradley (24:19) The Strange Situation Procedure developed by Dr. Mary Ainsworth (30:30) White middle class mothers in Baltimore stand for what attachment should look like in families of all types around the world (33:36) Two main cross cultural studies (40:13) The cognitive thinking component of the attachment relationship (47:29) What is Outcomes (01:01:25) Summary   [accordion] [accordion-item title="Click here to read the full transcript"] Jen Lumanlan 00:03 Hi, I'm Jen and I host the Your Parenting Mojo podcast. We all want our children to lead fulfilling lives. But it can be so hard to keep up with the latest scientific research on child development and figure out whether and how to incorporate it into our own approach to parenting. Here at Your Parenting Mojo, I do the work for you by critically examining strategies and tools related to parenting and child development that are grounded in scientific research on principles of respectful parenting. If you'd like to be notified when new episodes are released, and get a FREE Guide called 13 Reasons Why Your Child Won't listen To You and What To Do About Each One, just head on over to your YourParentingMojo.com/SUBSCRIBE. You can also continue the conversation about the show with other listeners in the Your Parenting Mojo Facebook group. I do hope you'll join us.   Jen Lumanlan 00:55 Hello, and welcome to the your parenting Mojo...

Alysia + Sarah chat with Hannah & Kelty of Upbringing about their new course they created with Jen Lumanlan of Your Parenting Mojo. Upbringing free downloadable roadmap with highlights from their new Right from the Start course:  https://yourparentingmojo.com/rightfromthestart (https://yourparentingmojo.com/rightfromthestart) Upbringing Spirited Kids Club: https://www.upbringing.co/spiritedkidsclub (https://www.upbringing.co/spiritedkidsclub) Check out our new merch at https://hitting-the-bottle.myshopify.com/ (https://hitting-the-bottle.myshopify.com/) Please submit all inquiries and Spill the Whine submissions to hello@hittingthebottlepod.com Follow us to continue the conversation on Instagram @hittingthebottle! Head over to https://www.patreon.com/hittingthebottle and sign up for extra content for only $5 / month! Theme song by Meaghan Casey. http://www.meaghancasey.com/ (www.meaghancasey.com) If you find yourself struggling, whether it be through pregnancy, feelings of guilt or shame surrounding birth, difficulties breastfeeding, parenting during the pandemic, etc. - Please know you are not alone. Reach out to someone you trust with these feelings - or reach out to us directly. You are doing the hard work and we see you. The contents of our show have many references to alcohol and drinking. We want to acknowledge our friends in recovery and let them know we love and support them. If you, or someone you know, is experiencing substance abuse disorder please call 1-800-662-HELP or visit https://www.samhsa.gov/ (https://www.samhsa.gov/) Support this podcast

Jen Lumanlan is the founder of Your Parenting Mojo, where she examines scientific research related to child development through the lens of respectful parenting. She is a prolific researcher, writer and podcaster. In our conversation, Jen touches on numerous topics that I think you will find profound and insightful. #sandwichparenting #consciousparenting #respectfulparenting #gentleparenting #peacefulparenting #yourparentingmojo #jenlumanlan #parentcoach --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/sandwich-parenting/message

Today's guest is a parent of a preschooler with a Master's in Psychology focused on Child Development and another in Education, and she hosts a podcast called Your Parenting Mojo. It's a reference guide for parents of toddlers and preschoolers based on scientific research and the principles of respectful parenting. In This Episode You'll Learn How ideas about race develop in young children. What are you doing on your journey to reduce the impacts of systemic racism? What ways issues of privilege play out in the entrepreneurial world. What parents can do to take the next step on their own anti-racist journey. Be sure to subscribe to this podcast so you don't miss another amazing episode! Learn more about the FamilyPreneur Business Accelerator and join today at »familypreneur.co« I'm committed to building an inclusive and anti-racist business. I support LGBTQIA+ rights and the rights of all intersectional identities. I believe that business should be a force for dismantling systems of oppression and actively invest in my own learning to fulfill this role. »Read My Full DEI Statement HERE« Would you like to deliver your own private podcast feed to your audience? Sign up for a free trial today at Hello Audio.

Today’s guest Jen Lumanlan is the host of the fascinating “Your Parenting Mojo” podcast, which is all about helping parents find (and fine-tune) their own unique way of raising their kids. I’ve wanted to meet Jen Lumanlan ever since I heard her story. Jen decided to turn her self-proclaimed lack of parenting intuition into an opportunity …

Today’s guest Jen Lumanlan is the host of the fascinating “Your Parenting Mojo” podcast, which is all about helping parents find (and fine-tune) their own unique way of raising their kids. I’ve wanted to meet Jen Lumanlan ever since I heard her story. Jen decided to turn her self-proclaimed lack of parenting intuition into an opportunity …