Podcast appearances and mentions of jen lumanlan

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Best podcasts about jen lumanlan

Latest podcast episodes about jen lumanlan

Transforming The Toddler Years - Conscious Moms Raising World & Kindergarten Ready Kids
New Baby? How Partner Relationships Change with Jen Lumanlan

Transforming The Toddler Years - Conscious Moms Raising World & Kindergarten Ready Kids

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 17, 2025 33:44


Relationship different after having kids? Jen Lumanlan from Your Parenting Mojo joins me to talk about how our relationship with our partner shifts after baby. We talk about how we often feel frustration, anger and resentment towards our partner when our needs are not met, and how to resolve this. Jen Lumanlan MS, MEd hosts the Your Parenting Mojo podcast, is author of Parenting Beyond Power: How to Use Connection and Collaboration to Transform Your Family - and the World and mom of two. Check out Jen's Right from the Start course and her  Setting Loving (& Effective!) Limits workshop - enrollment is open now, and starts May 7!Teachers and ECE Professionals- what type of professional development would you benefit most from?I do ⁠⁠⁠⁠early childhood education trainings, pre-service, in-service⁠⁠⁠ ⁠and everything in between and would love to connect with you on a 1:1 call to see how I can be of service to you and the littles you work with.April 17, 2025Episode 238How to Practice Early Language Skills Through Play with Hearing, Deaf, and Hard-of-Hearing Kids with Alaine JacobsAbout Your Host:Cara Tyrrell, M.Ed is mom to three girls, a Vermont based Early Childhood Educator and the founder of Core4Parenting. She is the passionate mastermind behind the Collaborative Parenting Methodology™, a birth-to-five, soul and science based framework that empowers toddler parents and educators  to turn tantrums into teachable moments. Through keynotes, teacher training, and her top-ranking podcast, Transforming the Toddler Years, she's teaching the 5 Executive Functioning Skills kids need to navigate our ever-changing world.Ready to raise world-ready kids who change the world? Visit⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.caratyrrell.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠to begin your Collaborative Parenting journey!

Dad to Dad  Podcast
SFN Dad to Dad 371 - Jen Lumanian of Berkeley, CA Researcher, Parenting Coach, Author, Host: Your Parenting Mojo Podcast

Dad to Dad Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 28, 2025 49:02


Our guest this week is Jen Lumanlan of Berkeley, CA wife, mother, researcher, parenting coach, author, curator of the Your Parenting Mojo website and host of the Your Parenting Mojo Podcast.  Jen and her husband, Alvin, have been married for 15 years and are the proud parents of daughter, Carys, who is 10 years old.Jen was born and raised in England.  She has a bachelors degree: English & Forestry from U.C. Berkeley, a masters degree in environmental management from Yale and a masters degree in psychology (child development) & education.  As a result of becoming a parent, frustrated by the lack of suitable parenting resources and informed by her masters in psychology & education, Jen redirected her energies into doing research and creating the Your Parenting Mojo podcast to fill that gap.  That lead to creating the Parenting Mojo website and doing parent coaching.Jen is the author of Parenting Beyond Power: How To Use Connection & Collaboration To Transform Your Family & The World, which is a must read for all parents.Jen has also been self-diagnosed with Autism, which she credits with informing her about many of the challenges she experienced as a youth.  More recently Jen has woven her understanding of: white supremacy, patriarchy, and racism into her work.  Her dedication to research, attention to detail and her straight foward ability to communicate sets her apart from many others in the parent coaching field.All on this episode of the SFN Dad to Dad Podcast.Show Notes - Email – jen@yourparentingmojo.comLinkedIn –  https://www.linkedin.com/in/jen-lumanlan-b5b115192/Website - https://yourparentingmojo.com/Your Parenting Mojo Quiz - https://yourparentingmojo.com/quiz/Your Parenting Mojo Podcast episodes referenced in this interview:#94 – Using Nonviolent Communication To Parent More Peacefully: https://yourparentingmojo.com/?s=non+violent+communication#129 – The Physical Reasons You Yell At Your Kids: https://yourparentingmojo.com/?s=129#175 – I'll Be Me, Can You Be You: https://yourparentingmojo.com/?s=175#232 – What Dog Trainers Know:  https://yourparentingmojo.com/?s=232 #238 – Feeling Exhausted & Overwhelmed?  Tools To Help You Cope: https://yourparentingmojo.com/?s=238Register for the 6th Annual SFN Dads Virthual Conference on May 10, 2025: https://us02web.zoom.us/meeting/register/TLkN_ViJTTqnaK-M8pHPNA After registering, you will receive a confirmation email containing information about joining the meeting.Special Fathers Network -SFN is a dad to dad mentoring program for fathers raising children with special needs. Many of the 800+ SFN Mentor Fathers, who are raising kids with special needs, have said: "I wish there was something like this when we first received our child's diagnosis. I felt so isolated.  There was no one within my family, at work, at church or within my friend group who understood or could relate to what I was going through."SFN Mentor Fathers share their experiences with younger dads closer to the beginning of their journey raising a child with the same or similar special needs. The SFN Mentor Fathers do NOT offer legal or medical advice, that is what lawyers and doctors do. They simply share their experiences and how they have made the most of challenging situations.Check out the 21CD YouTube Channel with dozens of videos on topics relevant to dads raising children with special needs - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCzDFCvQimWNEb158ll6Q4cA/videosPlease support the SFN. Click here to donate: https://21stcenturydads.org/donate/Special Fathers Network: https://21stcenturydads.org/  

The Heartful Parent Podcast
Ep 104 | From Control to Connection: Transforming Your Parenting Approach with Jen Lumanlan

The Heartful Parent Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 4, 2025 51:04


Have you ever considered how the way we parent connects to bigger societal systems like white supremacy, patriarchy, and capitalism?  In this episode of the Heartful Parent Podcast, I have the privilege of sitting down with Jen Lumanlan—host of Your Parenting Mojo podcast and author of Parenting Beyond Power—for a thought-provoking conversation about how traditional parenting methods can unknowingly reinforce these power structures.  Jen helps us see how discipline and authority play into these systems and explore how a more heartful, mindful approach to parenting can create lasting change in our families and beyond. Jen also points out how balancing our own needs with our kids' needs can actually foster connection, respect, and collaboration. And by recognizing the needs of others, we can in turn break down the power structures that are prevalent in everyday life right now. This episode is packed with insights and practical tools to help you rethink discipline, shift power dynamics, and create a home environment rooted in empathy and mutual understanding. Pass this episode along to at least 2 other parents, and you'll make a difference not only in your life and their lives, but it could begin to shift the world as a whole. Doesn't that sound pretty amazing?    Resources: yourparentingmojo.com yourparentingmojo.com/needs yourparentingmojo.com/quiz Parenting Beyond Power by Jen Lumanlan yourparentingmojo.substack.com White Women, Get Ready by Amanda Gross   Your Parenting Mojo Podcast episodes mentioned: 154: Authoritative isn't the best Parenting “Style 148: Is spanking a child really bad?   Follow Christy @theheartfulparent | Join the Heartful Parent Academy with code PODCAST

Your Parenting Mojo - Respectful, research-based parenting ideas to help kids thrive
235: Children's threats: What they mean and how to respond

Your Parenting Mojo - Respectful, research-based parenting ideas to help kids thrive

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 27, 2025 56:43


Children's threats: What they mean and how to respond "If you don't give me a lollipop, I won't be your friend anymore.”  Said to a sibling: “If you don't come and sit down, I'll take your toy.”  “If you don't give me candy before dinner, I'll hit you.” Has your child made threats like this (or worse ones) when things don't go their way? Whether it's yelling, “I'll never be your friend again!” or threatening to hurt you, hearing these words can stop you in your tracks. Why do our kids say things like this? Where do they even get the idea to use threats, when we've never said anything like this to them and we don't think they've heard it from screen time either? In this week's episode we'll dig deeply into these questions, and learn how to respond both in the moment the threat has happened - as well as what to do to reduce future threats. You'll hear: A step-by-step strategy to deal with a real-life example - from the parent whose child said "If you don't lie down with me I will shatter your eyeballs!" The phrases we use with our kids that might unintentionally encourage this kind of behavior Specific, practical tools to use in the moment - and long before tensions escalate Are you ready to turn these tough moments into opportunities for deeper connection? Tune in to the episode today. And what happens to you when your child threatens you? Do you lose your mind? Do you freak out that you might be raising a child who needs help to defuse violent tendencies, and then yell at them because their threats are SO INAPPROPRIATE? Hopefully this episode reassures you that that isn't the case. But that may not eliminate your triggered feelings - because these don't always respond to logic. If you know you need help with your triggers but don't know what to do, come to the FREE Why You're So Angry With Your Child's Age-Appropriate Behavior - and What To Do About It (without stuffing down your feelings and pretending that you aren't angry) masterclass. Finally understand the causes of your triggered feelings and find out how to feel angry less often - in just 36 minutes. Watch the recording anytime it's convenient for you, then join me for a FREE LIVE Q&A session and coaching from 10-11:30am Pacific on Thursday February 6. (We'll send you a recording in case you can't attend - although you have to be there to get your questions answered and win great prizes!) Click the banner below to learn more and sign up. Other episodes mentioned: SYPM 013: Triggered all the time to emotional safety 232: 10 game-changing parenting hacks – straight from master dog trainers Jump to highlights: 03:03 Introduction of Reddit post about a child threatening his parent 19:27 The child listens but doesn't do what they're told 36:21 Recognizing the signals 42:42 Recognize the background stress [accordion] [accordion-item title="Click here to read the full transcript"]  Adrian  00:03 Adrian, Hi, I'm Adrien in suburban Chicagoland, and this is Your Parenting Mojo with Jen Lumanlan. Jen is working on a series of episodes based on the challenges you are...

Love Each Other Better
22: Challenging White Supremacy, Patriarchy, and Capitalism in our Families with Jen Lumanlan

Love Each Other Better

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 10, 2024 55:07


In this thought-provoking episode of the Love Each Other Better podcast, I sit down with Jen Lumanlan, host of the Your Parenting Mojo podcast and author of Parenting Beyond Power: How to Use Connection & Collaboration to Transform Your Family and the World. Join us for an introduction to how white supremacy, patriarchy, and capitalism shape family dynamics and influence parenting approaches, and how to shift out of traditional power dynamics to make family life easier and more connecting. Jen shares powerful insights and practical tools to help parents navigate conflicts and create family environments where everyone's needs—parents' and children's alike—are honored. From addressing the micro moments where resistance in children shows up to exploring deep concepts like white supremacy, patriarchy, and capitalism and how they intersect in our families, this episode offers a roadmap for transforming family relationships and beyond. Whether you're a parent seeking to navigate the pressures of modern life or someone looking to create a more just and collaborative family dynamic, this episode is packed with inspiration and actionable strategies. Tune in and start building a family culture rooted in equality, trust, and compassion today.   About Jen Lumanlan JEN LUMANLAN, MS, MEd, (she/her) hosts the Your Parenting Mojo podcast, which was named Best Research-Based Parenting Podcast by Lifehacker and has been downloaded almost 4 million times. After attending Berkeley and Yale and following a traditional career path in sustainability consulting, Jen found that parenting was her toughest challenge yet. She went back to school for a master's degree in psychology focused on child development and another in education, and trained as a Co-Active coach to share what she learned with other parents. Her work has been featured in outlets such as Psychology Today, Romper, and NPR. Jen is the author of Parenting Beyond Power: How to Use Connection and Collaboration to Transform Your Family - and the World. Jen's Resources Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/YourParentingMojo Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/yourparentingmojo/ Website: https://www.yourparentingmojo.com Take Jen's quiz: Tell Me What My Child Needs! https://www.yourparentingmojo.com/quiz When you understand your child's most important need and meet that more often, they'll stop resisting you as much. Read Jen's book: Parenting Beyond Power: How to Use Connection & Collaboration to Transform Your Family and the World: https://yourparentingmojo.com/book/ Listen to Jen's podcast: Your Parenting Mojo: https://yourparentingmojo.com/episodes/ Setting Loving (& Effective!) Limits workshop (open anytime; just $7 with coupon code ALIMILLER) - shows you how to set limits effectively, and also set far fewer of them than you ever thought possible, without being a permissive parent! Taming Your Triggers workshop (opens every ~Oct and Feb) - helps parents understand the real causes of their triggered feelings, begin to heal those hurts so they feel triggered less often, and repair more effectively on the fewer occasions when it does still happen. Parenting Membership (opens every May) - provides ongoing support for parenting challenges - from tantrums/meltdowns, screen time, and raising healthy eaters to getting on the same page with your parenting partner.   Connect with Ali Miller Stop Fighting! (without stuffing your feelings or sacrificing your needs) 8-Week Private Coaching Program for Couples: https://www.alimillercoaching.com/stopfighting Website: https://www.AliMillerCoaching.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alimillercoaching NVC for Couples Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/nvcforcouples/ Email: Ali@AliMillerCoaching.com    

Dads With Daughters
Parenting Beyond Power: Jen Lumanlan's Insights on Engaged Fatherhood and Child Development

Dads With Daughters

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 9, 2024 28:35


An Educational Journey Turned Parenting Mission Jen Lumanlan's shift from a sustainability consulting career to a focus on parenting wasn't incidental. After grappling with the challenges of raising her own daughter, she realized that academic research on child development could serve as a guiding light. This led her to pursue master's degrees in psychology and education, and subsequently, to the creation of her podcast and book. Her primary goal? To leverage her learnings to support other parents facing similar challenges. Challenging Conventional Discipline Understanding the Power Dynamics at Play At the heart of Jen's approach is the critique of conventional discipline methods such as timeouts and consequences. According to Jen, these methods often perpetuate harmful power dynamics. They emphasize a power-over relationship, where the authority figure (the parent) uses their power to correct or control the child. These traditional methods can breed resentment and a lack of genuine understanding. Exploring Alternative Strategies The Shift From Control to Collaboration So, what can parents do instead? Jen advocates for strategies that satisfy both the parent's and the child's needs, fostering a power-sharing relationship. For example, during conflict, she suggests addressing the situation outside of the moment of crisis. Proactive discussions about recurring issues like tooth brushing or bedtime can pave the way for more harmonious solutions. By understanding and meeting each other's needs, both parties can find agreeable strategies, reducing resistance and conflict. Identifying and Meeting Needs The Two-Way Street of Parenting Needs Parents often neglect their own needs in the face of their child's demands, but Jen emphasizes that both parent and child have valid needs. Strategies should aim to fulfill both. She introduces the concept of "cherry needs" — the most critical needs that recur for both parents and children. For instance, a child's need for autonomy can be met with choices that do not compromise the parent's essential needs, such as brushing teeth in a different room. Problem-Solving in Real-Time Navigating Tantrums and Meltdowns Tantrums and meltdowns are common challenges, and Jen offers peace and empathy as the best tools. Understanding the underlying needs that prompt such behaviors and addressing them proactively or with empathetic responses in the heat of the moment can defuse tension. Validating the child's feelings and needs even during a meltdown can lead to quicker resolutions and more trust. Shifting Dynamics with Teens It's Never Too Late to Transform Relationships Parents of older children might assume it's too late for change, but Jen underscores that it's never too late. Even with tweens and teens, shifting from a power-over to a power-sharing dynamic can salvage and improve the relationship. She proposes using phrases like “I'm worried that…” to express needs and concerns, fostering mutual respect and understanding. Healing From Our Own Childhood Breaking Cycles Through Self-Reflection Many of our parenting triggers stem from our own childhood experiences. By unpacking and healing these old traumas, parents can become more conscious and connected. This self-awareness prevents past negative patterns from repeating, helping parents respond more thoughtfully rather than reacting on impulse. Broader Societal Change Raising Children Who Challenge Injustice Jen believes that by fostering power-sharing relationships at home, we can equip children to challenge systemic injustices. When children learn to view all individuals' needs as equally important, they carry this perspective into broader societal contexts, questioning and challenging systems of domination and inequality. Jen Lumanlan's insights offer valuable guidance in our quest to raise empathetic, empowered children. By shifting from control to collaboration and addressing the deeper needs within our family dynamics, we not only nurture healthier relationships but also contribute to a more just world. Tune into this enlightening episode of Dads with Daughters for more practical wisdom on transformative parenting. Connect with Jen and deepen your understanding of parenting dynamics at Your Parenting Mojo. TRANSCRIPT Dr.Christopher Lewis [00:00:05]: Welcome to Dads with Daughters. In this show, we spotlight dads, resources, and more to help you be the best dad you can be. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:16]: Welcome back to the Dads with Daughters podcast where we bring you guests to be active participants in your daughters' lives, raising them to be strong, independent women. Really excited to have you back again this week. As always, every week, you and I are on a journey together. I love being on this journey with you where we have an opportunity to be able to learn together about what it takes to be that dad that we wanna be. And all of us wanna be that those engaged dads, those dads that are there for our kids. And it takes work. It takes time. It takes effort to be a quality parent, and it takes resources. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:55]: And that's why this podcast exists. Every week, I love being able to bring you different guests, different people with different experiences that can bring different resources to you, different different opportunities for you to learn and grow. The the biggest thing is that you're open to learning. And that's what I hope for me for you every week when we're talking. This week, we got another great guest with us. Jen Loominlan is with us today. And Jen hosts the Your Parenting Mojo podcast, which was named the best research parenting podcast by Lifehacker. It's been downloaded over 3,000,000 times. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:01:33]: After attending Berkeley and Yale and following a traditional career path in sustainability consulting, Jen found that parenting was her toughest challenge yet. She went back to school for a master's degree in psychology focused on child development and another in education and trained as a coactive coach to share what she learned with other parents. She's an author of the book Parenting Beyond Power, How to Use Connection and Collaboration to Transform Your Family and the world. And today, we're gonna be talking with her about her own experiences and these experiences with the book and some of the things that you can take out of this book to help you to be that parent that you wanna be. Jen, thanks so much for being here today.  Jen Lumanlan [00:02:16]: Thanks for having me. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:02:16]: It is my pleasure. I mentioned the fact that you've got this book that you've put out into the world. As an author myself, I know how much time, effort, passion has to go into putting a book out into the world. And it is a lot of time and effort, and you have to have a passion for it to be able to get to that end point. So tell me the story. What what was it about? You know, I introduced you. You you had this career, but you said, you know what? I wanna go back and I want to do do more work on education, work with parents. But what made you decide that you wanted to put all this into a book that was gonna help others? What drew you to that final point? Jen Lumanlan I think I started the podcast because, you know, I had no idea how to parent. And I didn't have the most amazing parenting role models myself either, and so I realized I could look to academic research to help me understand how to go about raising my daughter. And so I kind of figured, you know, I I should get some education on this so that I can put some kind of guardrails around it and know I'm not missing anything huge, and that's what led to the master's degrees. And and then I was kinda thinking, well, it's kinda silly to do all this learning for myself and not share it. So I created the podcast to share that with other people. And then I over the course of of sort of exploring a lot of topics on the podcast that we have over 200 episodes now that are all research based. And I think, you know, it became really clear that I was hearing similar challenges from parents over and over again. And and they're kind of variations on the phrase, how do I get my child to Right? How do I get my kid to put their shoes on in the morning, to eat their breakfast, to stay at the dinner table, to get in the bath, to stay in bed at the end of the night? You know? And that's just the toddler set. Jen Lumanlan [00:03:59]: The challenges expand from there. So, what I realized was the the tools that I had learned from others and kind of adapted with putting my own spin on them were really helping parents to kind of address those challenges, those daily challenges on a day to day basis. And at the same time, they also help us to address some of the big challenges that we face out in the world that are related to kind of being in power over relationships. And it turns out that our kids learn a lot about power from our relationships with them and when we're using our power to get them to because it seems like that's the only thing we can do. Right? We just wanna get through the day. It's not we want to use our our power over our kids. We're just trying to get through the day. And we use our power because it seems like that's the only option we have because that's what was modeled for us when we were kids. Jen Lumanlan [00:04:50]: And if we can instead see how to be in a power sharing relationship with our kids, then our kids stop resisting us because you don't resist when your needs are met and when, you know, when you're not being sort of dominated by somebody else. And and also that will help us to address some of the social challenges we face that have their origins in these power based relationships. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:05:11]: So let's talk a little bit about power because in your book, you do talk about the that that power dynamic, and you challenge conventional discipline methods like timeouts and consequences. And you suggest that they perpetuate harmful power dynamics like you just were mentioning. So what are some other alternative strategies that parents can use when they feel overwhelmed, or when they feel that their child's behavior is especially difficult? Jen Lumanlan [00:05:38]: So the I mean, firstly, the challenge with those conventional discipline methods. I mean, if you ever put a child in time out, right, do they come out of time out kind of contrite and ready to apologize for the thing that they did wrong and they never do it again? Right? No. They usually kinda resent being in time out. They come out of it kinda pissed at you, and they do it again. Right? They do the same thing over again. Same with consequences. We can we can withdraw a privilege of some kind. We can punish a child in some way, and we can call it a, quote, unquote, logical consequence because it seems like the punishment is sort of related to the thing they did wrong. Jen Lumanlan [00:06:12]: But, essentially, it is a punishment. It is us using our power to say your behavior is not acceptable to me. And until that changes, I'm going to withdraw this thing that you care about. Right? We are using our power to to make both of those things happen. And so what what I want to make sure that that your listeners understand is that I am not advocating that we parents suddenly say, okay. Whatever you want. Totally fine. Totally cool. Jen Lumanlan [00:06:32]: Right? I'm just here to exist to enable you to live your best life. No. What I'm saying is that both parent and child have needs. And the way that we use the word need in our culture is a little bit odd. Right? Like, I might say, I can't play with you right now. I need to make dinner. And needing to make dinner is not actually a need. That's a strategy that I'm using to meet my need for food, for nourishment. Jen Lumanlan [00:07:01]: Right? And there are a 100 other strategies we could use. I could toss a pizza in the oven. We could go out and get dinner. I could ask someone to bring us dinner. We could have cereal for dinner. So many different strategies we could use to meet that need. And so what I'm saying is that you, parents, are a whole person with needs, and you deserve to get those needs met. And your child is a whole person with needs, and your child deserves to get those needs met. Jen Lumanlan [00:07:26]: And the vast majority of the time, preferably if we're not dealing with it in the moment. Right? We're not we're not waiting in for this thing that our kid does over and over and over again, and we're not waiting for that to happen. Then, okay, needs? What what am I supposed to do? Right? Instead, we can actually address that outside of that difficult moment. We can say, hey. I noticed we've been having a hard time with tooth brushing lately. Can we have a chat about that? Because I'd really like for that to be different. I'd like for our evenings to be different. Would you like for our evenings to be different? Chances are the kid probably does. Jen Lumanlan [00:07:53]: Because if this is a big deal to you, then, you know, there have been time outs and all kinds of stress around toothbrushing. And then, okay, so we're we're trying to understand how each person is feeling. We're trying to understand what each person needs. And what the need is determines the strategy that we can use to help them meet the need. So I'm happy to dig further into that if you'd like, but I'm curious if you have any questions about that aspect. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:08:14]: No. I'd love to delve a little bit deeper into needs because I know that in the book, you do talk about the importance of meeting both the parents and the child's needs, like you were talking about to reduce that conflict. So how can parents begin to identify and prioritize their own needs without feeling guilty or neglecting their children's? Jen Lumanlan [00:08:32]: So it's super common for the parents that I work with to say to me, before I started working with you, I didn't even know that I had needs. Because we didn't learn this when we were kids. Right? And so just to be clear on what I'm talking about related to needs, I'm talking about things like rest, like self care, like respect, which is not necessarily having everybody do everything you say. Right? It can be, like, holding someone in esteem and high regard. And we all want respect, and our kids want respect too. It's things like ease. And we just want parenting to be a little bit easier for collaboration, for harmony with our kids. Right? These are the kinds of things I'm talking about related to needs. Jen Lumanlan [00:09:10]: And so if we take tooth brushing as an example, right, could imagine if tooth brushing has been stressful because my kid has been resisting it. Let's say my kid is a toddler. My kid's actually 10 by now. But let's say it's a toddler, and I might think, okay. What is my need in this? Right? I might I might have been saying to my child, I need you to brush your teeth. That's not actually my need. My need is for protection of her health and safety. It is for a little bit of ease and collaboration and harmony in the evenings at the end of a long day. Jen Lumanlan [00:09:39]: And if you're wanting to, like, explore what needs are, there's a a list of needs in the back of of the book. And there's also a quiz that I offer at your parentingmojo.com, which allows you to go through it's your parentingmojo.comforward/ quiz, and you can answer some simple questions about your child's behavior and get to your child's most important needs that come up over and over and over again. And you may well find that some of those are coming up in tooth brushing. So if your child has what we call a cherry need, right, there's the cherry on top of the cupcake, which is the 3 to 5 needs that are coming up over and over and over again. For many toddlers, autonomy is right up there at the top. They want to be able to have some kind of say over something that feels important to them. Underneath that, we have the frosting needs, which is the next 3 to 5 most important. Underneath that is kind of all of the other needs. Jen Lumanlan [00:10:26]: And so we're always firstly looking at what are those cherry needs, and that quiz is gonna help you to understand what your child's cherry needs are. And so even if your child isn't speaking yet, right, if your child is too young to speak, if your child doesn't speak, if you've done this quiz, you can say, okay. What is it an autonomy? Is it possible the child wants to have some kind of say over what's happening here? How can I make that happen? Right? You're not giving the child necessarily the choice, do you want to brush teeth or not? But what kind of toothpaste do you wanna use? What kind of toothbrush do you wanna use? For us, oh my goodness. It it turned out to be I my daughter wanted to decide where we brushed. For a solid 6 months, we brushed in the living room. And so I might initially think, no. She should have brushed her teeth in the in the bathroom. That's where teeth are brushed. Jen Lumanlan [00:11:10]: Right? But if I can find the cognitive flexibility to say, alright. What are my needs? Her health and safety, peace, ease, harmony. Does brushing teeth in the living room meet my needs? Yes. It does. Does brushing teeth in the living room meet her need for autonomy? Yes. It does. Then is there a reason why we can't brush teeth in the living room? No. There is not. Jen Lumanlan [00:11:28]: And so that's what we did. And so the critical, critical piece here is that when it's a need for autonomy, right, it's not it's not the brushing teeth in the living room. It's some magical solution that will work for every child. If your child has a need for comfort, right, if you've been holding them down and forcing the toothbrush in their mouth, saying, let's brush in the living room is not gonna address that. And so we have to know what is the child's need, and then we find strategies to meet their need. And it feels good to have our needs met, and everybody wants to have it happen. And so that's how it helps us to get both of our needs met. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:11:59]: So another thing that your books talk about, and really what you just kind of framed seems to fit in with it, is one of the key concepts you talk about is your problem solving approach, and it it basically what you just described. Are there other parts though of that approach that you could walk us through that would allow for someone to get a better sense of what the approach kind of how an adult would frame that approach, and also how a parent might then apply it to other challenges like tantrums or other situations like that. Jen Lumanlan [00:12:34]: What I want to have parents see is that very, very often, these are not isolated instances. When your child is having tantrums, chances are it's kind of about the same thing over and over and over again. And so that represents a huge opportunity because you don't have to wait for the next tooth brushing session to address this. You can address this beforehand while everybody's calm, everybody's rested, everybody's fed, nobody's at the end of their rope. Right? That's the time ideally we want to address this. And that allows us to have more of a conversation. And even if your kid isn't talking yet, kids sense the difference between, you're gonna brush your teeth because I said so, because because I want what's good for you, and you have to brush your teeth so you don't get cavities, and all the reasons that we give them. And, oh my gosh, I really wish that this could be easier for both of us. Jen Lumanlan [00:13:22]: I'm trying to figure out how do we meet both of our needs here. Right? Kids know the difference between those two things. And even if you can't fully understand the child's need, they are often willing to come towards you because you're trying. But I also wanna give you an example of, like, in the moment the kid is already melting down. And so I'm thinking of a parent that I coached a while ago whose child was having this meltdown, and it was coming up because the child and the parent were having 1 on 1 playtime in the afternoon, and it's coming time to go and pick the older child up from school. And so the kid has, like, a you know, the kid the the younger child who's at home with the parent is having a fallout on the floor, wailing, hitting, biting, all the rest of it meltdown that's happening. And the parent is trying to reason with the child. Right? Come on. Jen Lumanlan [00:14:06]: It's time to go. We do this every day. Why is this so hard? We already had playtime. Let's go. And if you've ever had a meltdown yourself with your partner, with anyone else who's in your life, if you imagine your partner coming back and saying, but I told you a 100 times, this is how we do it. We can sort of get a sense for what it might be like to receive that from our parent. And what do we want instead? What we really want is someone to try to see it from our perspective. And so what I asked that parent to do and what she ended up doing was when the next time the child had the the the meltdown because they didn't have a chance to kinda talk about it beforehand, the parent kinda went in with, oh my goodness. Jen Lumanlan [00:14:46]: I hear you. It's so hard to transition out of playtime with me. Right? Because it's so much fun, and you love it so much. And now we're going to pick up your sibling, and for the rest of the afternoon, you're gonna have to share me. You're gonna have to wait. You can't just have the thing that you want right at the moment that you want it. Is that what's going on for you? And the kid is like, yes. And we're done. Jen Lumanlan [00:15:05]: And there's no more hitting, and there's no more biting, and there's no more flailing on the floor because the child was heard. And so I'm not saying this magically fixes every tantrum in your child's life, but I can tell you that when you see these things coming, when you see, okay. Yeah. Every day at this time, my kid has a tantrum. Why is that? What need are they trying to meet? Can I help them meet that need? That takes care of, like, a massive chunk of them up front, so you never even get into the tantrum in the first place. And then once you're in it, then the empathy the okay. What's really going on for you? Can I sit with you in this hard time that you're having? And that's where you find the real beauty of, yes. I just wanted to be heard. Jen Lumanlan [00:15:45]: I just wanted somebody to acknowledge that it's hard for me to to stop playing with you and have to share you for the rest of the evening. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:15:51]: So a lot of the examples you gave were of younger children. And in a perfect world, I would have loved to have had this book when my kids were really young. So if someone is hearing this and they're saying, I've got a tween, I've got a teen, and our relationship's not the best, we're in this fighting, we were fighting together, we're not seen eye to eye, you know, we're, you know, we're isolated, you know, we're we're not where we need to be. Are there things that they can do with this problem solving approach that they can start putting in place even though their children are not at that young age that they can start using right away? Jen Lumanlan [00:16:28]: Yes. It's never ever, ever too late to do this. I mentioned that my parenting role models were not the best, and I've thought about this a lot actually. And, you know, what would have happened I guess I do wanna be clear. You know, they were doing the best they could with the tools that they had. And if one of them had learned these tools and had tried to make some kind of shift, even in my late teenage years, would that have made a difference? Yes. It absolutely would have. And so where I would try to start with this kind of thing is to to try to kind of back off where you see that you're using power to get your child to change their behavior. Jen Lumanlan [00:17:04]: Not back off completely, but try to use a simple phrase. And that phrase is, I'm worried that dot dot dot. So if your, you know, your your kid is asking to do something, they wanna go out with friends, they whatever whatever is the thing that you're thinking about saying no to. That previously would you would have used your power, you would have made sure that they didn't do the thing that you that they're asking to do, that they really want do, that you don't want them to do. And so instead of of doing that, we can say, I'm worried that you're not gonna be safe. Right? I'm worried that this specific thing is going to happen. How can we make sure this thing doesn't happen? Because what what what the I'm worried that does is it helps me to articulate my need. I am worried for your safety. Jen Lumanlan [00:17:46]: If I can know that certain parameters are in place that mean that I think you're gonna be safe, then, yeah, I'm willing to say yes to this thing. Then I don't have to use my power over you to try and get you to change your behavior. I think that what what parents you're describing or seeing is I get actually reading for the first time doctor Thomas Gordon's book on, parent effectiveness training, and he talks about power and influence. And when we've used power over our children for a long time, we tend to find we have less influence as they get older because people don't like being influenced by people who have used power over them. And so if we want to have influence over our children as they get older and and they realize, you know what? You don't you actually don't have any power over me anymore. I'm getting bigger to the point where you can't physically intimidate me, and once I have the car keys, right, I'm done. I'm out of here. You can't control me anymore. Jen Lumanlan [00:18:37]: And if we still want to be able to influence our children at that point, we have to be willing to give up some of that power, and I'm worried that is a great place to start with that. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:18:47]: One of the other things that you talk about in the book is that many of the triggers, the triggers that all of us have internally, the things that set us off in our own parenting journey with our kids stem from how we were raised. How can parents begin to unpack and heal from their own childhood experiences to become more conscious, connected parents? Jen Lumanlan [00:19:09]: Well, that could be another episode by itself. So, I mean, there's a lot there. And what parents that I work with tend to find is that they are most triggered by their child's behavior when they when their child gets to an age where they were having a hard time with their parents. So there's, you know, all the typical toddler stuff that is just hard when the toddler is resisting for the first time, and we used to resist as well. Right? We didn't like it either, being told what to do and that my way is the only way and that even if we try and kind of be nice about it, that ultimately, the kid's gonna do things the way that we want them to do. We didn't like that either. We pushed back against it. And, eventually, we learned there's no point in pushing back because the parent's gonna win eventually. Jen Lumanlan [00:19:50]: And so you know, most people find that stage difficult for that reason. And then as we go through life, there was probably an age where we kinda butted up against our parents for for whatever reason. And then when our child gets to that age, then we remember all those struggles. It's like they're they're right here again. They're right here with us, and they remind us of the hard time that we had, the ways that we were dominated by our parents. And I think this, it's especially difficult actually for parents who have done a little bit of work, who are trying to do things differently with their child. Because when their child is doing something the parent finds difficult, there's this kind of tug of war happening in their heads. There's this, I know what my values are. Jen Lumanlan [00:20:31]: I know how I want to raise you. I want to be in this power sharing relationship with you, but I would have been punished for doing the thing you just did. If I never spoken to my parent like that, right, they would have hit me. And so it's like there's this this massive, you know, you can imagine this tug of war literally happening inside of our heads. And and it's happening in this moment when our kid is doing something we told them not to do. And the amount of mental capacity it takes to be able to navigate that and also be calm for your child and show up for your child is is overwhelming, and so we snap. And so that's why I teach a whole 10 week workshop called taming your triggers on where does this stuff come from, really digging deep and to start healing those things so that we don't have to carry around the weight of that hurt every day. And, also, really digging deep into the the tools that I've been mentioning that are described in the book and, like, how do we actually use them when I'm feeling triggered? Right? How do I how do I create a pause? Because that's that's the critical phase for especially for people who are triggered, is creating that pause between the thing my child does and my reaction. Jen Lumanlan [00:21:42]: And once you have that pause, then you have a moment to be able to say, okay. What are my values here? What's really important to me? What is my need? Okay. This is it. And so the thing that's gonna come out of my mouth is gonna be x rather than, you know, whatever it is that currently flies out in the moment that our child does this thing right now. Jen Lumanlan [00:22:00]: And so many times, it is that latter aspect. Jen Lumanlan [00:22:03]: And so often, it's your parents' voice that comes out. You're like, where did that come from? Yes. Because our parents raised us using these tools. They they dominated us. Even if they didn't mean to, even if they were doing the best that they could, they dominated us. And so when we're in these stressed moments, the thing that comes out is the thing that was modeled for us. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:22:22]: You know, the final thing that I think that I'd mentioned is that in your book, you really talk about transforming the family dynamic and that you say that through transforming this dynamic within our own homes, we can contribute to what you call a broader societal change. So how do you envision parents using these parenting tools to raise children who are capable of challenging system systematic injustices in the world around them? Jen Lumanlan [00:22:48]: Yeah. I mean, I see it happening already in the parents that I work with. And there's an example in the book of a parent who parent Maria and her her daughter, Isabelle. And, you know, Isabelle is one of those kids who, from the get go, knew exactly what she wanted and would scream if you held her the wrong way and would refuse to put her shoes on as a toddler. Right? Even even to go to a a nice outing. Right? The parents are like, okay. Put your shoes on. Well, no. Jen Lumanlan [00:23:13]: You told me to do it. No. I'm not doing it. And they stand there and stand off for half an hour, and the kid's not doing anything, and and they never make it out. And so Maria very quickly realized that using these power over tools was just gonna result in endless repetitions of that situation and started using these power sharing tools. And the transformation in their own relationship has been really profound. I mean, this is a kid who, I think Maria actually sprained her ankle in the house one day, and Isabelle stepped over her and said, you know, what? What's for lunch? No empathy, no compassion, no nothing. And within a period of months, right, we see empathy, we see compassion start coming out. Jen Lumanlan [00:23:57]: We see the kids all around the table, and some of the kids are teasing mom. And and Isabelle says, I'm looking at mom, and it seems like she's not up for being teased right now. Right? Reading mom's cues and being able to say, you know what? I'm not seeing that that mom's really into this. And so that's just within the family. And then we look outside the family, and Isabel sees that there's a kid in the school who has ADHD and is being bullied by the peer group that Isabelle is a part of, and Isabelle says, you know what? No. I'm not I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna be part of this group and goes over and makes friends with a kid with ADHD. So that's, you know, that's a super small example. Jen Lumanlan [00:24:32]: And then we start to extrapolate that out to other systems in the world. Right? If we think about things like racism, it's ultimately a power over system. It's me saying, my right to exist as a white person, to be comfortable as a white person is more important than people of color's right to exist in their whole selves. And what if we were to say, you know what? Your needs are just as important as my needs. I don't believe that these systems of domination out in the world can exist when we all perceive each other's needs to be equally as important as our own. And so, yes, it's gonna take some time. Right? This can't be the only way we go about doing these things. Parents are not responsible in themselves by, you know, just alone for solving these societal challenges. Jen Lumanlan [00:25:16]: We also need lots of other work as well. But I truly believe that seeing each other's needs as as important as our own is a critical piece of making the world a place where everybody can thrive. Jen Lumanlan [00:25:30]: I really appreciate you sharing everything that you've been sharing today. And if people want to find out more about you, your podcast, your book, where's the best place for them to go? Jen Lumanlan [00:25:40]: So everything I do flows through your parentingmojo.com. I would definitely advise parents to go check out the quiz at your parentingmojo.comforward/quiz. Because once you know your child's needs, everything just gets so much easier. Because as soon as you see resistance, you can say, okay. Where is this coming from? Is it a need? Oh, yes. It's autonomy. It's connection. It's, you know, whatever that cherry need is. Jen Lumanlan [00:26:03]: And then you can very quickly find the strategies that meet their need instead of having to look through the list of 50 needs and say, oh, which one is it? So I would definitely recommend that. I am on Facebook and Instagram. I don't use them super much, but I am there as well. And so, yeah, subscribe to podcast episodes as well, through the through the website. And the book is at Parenting Beyond Power. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:26:25]: Well, I really appreciate you sharing all of this today for what you're putting out into the world and what you're doing to help parents be better parents, and I wish you all the best. Jen Lumanlan [00:26:32]: Thanks so much, Chris. It was great to be with you. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:26:34]: If you've enjoyed today's episode of the Dads with Daughters podcast, we invite you to check out the Fatherhood Insider. The fatherhood insider is the essential resource for any dad that wants to be the best dad that he can be. We know that no child comes with an instruction manual and most dads are figuring it out as they go along, and the fatherhood insider is full of resources and information that will up your game on fatherhood. Through our extensive course library, interactive forum, step by step roadmaps, and more, you will engage and learn with experts, but more importantly, dads like you. So check it out at fatheringtogether.org. If you are a father of a daughter and have not yet joined the dads with daughters Facebook community, there's a link in the notes today. Dads with daughters is a program of fathering together. We look forward to having you back for another great guest next week, all geared to helping you raise strong, empowered daughters and be the best dad that you can be. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:27:32]: We're all in the same boat, And it's full of tiny screaming passengers. We spend the time. We give the lessons. We make the meals. We buy them presents and bring your a game. Because those kids are growing fast. The time goes by just like a  

Breaking Down Patriarchy
Parenting Beyond Power - with author Jen Lumanlan

Breaking Down Patriarchy

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 3, 2024 63:03


Amy is joined by Jen Lumanlan to discuss her book, Parenting Beyond Power: How to Use Connection and Collaboration to Transform Your Family and the World, exploring the ways power-over parenting teaches patriarchy to the next generation, plus needs-based alternatives and practice scenarios to help listeners put these anti-patriarchal parenting approaches into use.Jen Lumanlan, M.S., M.Ed., (she/her) obtained Bachelor's degrees (Forestry, English) from the University of California, Berkeley and a Master's in Environmental Management from Yale University and enjoyed a career in sustainability consulting before having her daughter, when she realized she was in for her toughest challenge yet. She went back to school for a Master's in psychology focused on child development and another in education to understand how to raise her child, and launched a podcast, Your Parenting Mojo, to share what she was learning with others.

Securely Attached
259. BTS: How do I know if I'm giving in too much and becoming permissive?

Securely Attached

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 28, 2024 28:46


Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...   - A quick breakdown of Baumrind's 4 parenting styles: Authoritative, Authoritarian, Permissive, and Neglectful. If you want to learn more, check out episode 39 where we dive deeper into parenting styles.   - How to use “high love and high limits” as your compass for helping you know how to raise healthy kids.   - Why the pattern so many parents find themselves in is: authoritative ➡️ permissive ➡️ authoritarian (and how to break this cycle!)    - Knowing the difference between being permissive and making a conscious and intentional choice not to pick this battle.   - The subtle shift in how you frame an intentional pivot to your child so your actions are still authoritative when you are “giving in.”   - How to change your mind without teaching your child that they can get you to cave and that your limits are unreliable.    - When your child refuses to take a bath, brush their teeth, wants more water after bedtime, and asks for candy before breakfast - how to be authoritative in all of these situations.     ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:  

What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood | Parenting Tips From Funny Moms

This month, we're doing a deep dive series into letting things go—arguments, unattainable standards, you name it! You can find the playlist with all of the episodes in the series here. When you're locked in a battle of tug-o-war it can be extremely exhausting to keep up the fight. But there is a solution: dropping the rope. It may seem counterintuitive, but when you're in the middle of a conflict you've had many times before—when you're fighting for something that seems very important, or at least obvious—and then suddenly drop the rope, you're allowing the space for something different to occur. Here are the links to the resources we mentioned in the episode: Jen Lumanlan for Your Parenting Mojo: "Want to stop playing Tug of War with your child?" Our Fresh Take with Dr. Jill Stoddard on How to Manage Our Anxiety Our bookshop! What Fresh Hell Podcast is going on tour across the Northeast US this fall! Join us for a live version of the podcast and bring all your mom friends. We can't wait to go back on the road! https://bit.ly/whatfreshhelltour We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid's behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, parents fighting, arguments, husbands, wives, partners arguing, kids arguing, spouse disagreements Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Time to Lean
how can we get the whole family to see the work?

Time to Lean

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 26, 2024 44:52


In this week's episode, we discuss how we can course-correct when balance arrives, but the perception of it is still skewed. What work is being noticed? What is being ignored? What can we do to shift the narrative, especially with kids?Referenced in the episode:Our Home by Lori Sugarman-LiReleasing the Mother Load by Erica DjossaParenting Beyond Power by Jen Lumanlan⁠⁠⁠⁠Join our Patreon!⁠⁠⁠⁠Download resources and read more from Crystal and Laura ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Have a domestic dilemma or question? Leave us a message on Speakpipe! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.speakpipe.com/timetolean⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ OR DM us on IG @timetoleanpodFollow Time to Lean on social media ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@timetoleanpod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Follow Laura on social media ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@thatdarnchat⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Follow Crystal on social media ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@itscrystalbritt⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Domestic Violence Resources ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠One of us is a therapist, but not YOUR therapist--nothing in this podcast is meant to be a replacement for individual therapy. If you have concerns or an emergency, contact 911 for help.Get bonus content on Patreon Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Balanced Parent Podcast
178: Parenting Beyond Power with Jen Lumanlan

The Balanced Parent Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 13, 2024 60:46


Authentic Parenting
Year in Review: Reflecting on the Past Year, Top 10 Episodes, Highlights and Your Voicemails

Authentic Parenting

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 28, 2023 65:05


In this final episode of 2023 Jen and I do a yearly reflection. We share highlights and lowlights from our lives, best books and podcasts we discovered, places we visited. By looking at our past challenges and goals, we make astonishing discoveries. Wwe share the top 10 episodes from this year, play your voicemails and set intentions for the new year.  Powerful Questions to Reflect on Your Year PDF-free download LISTENERS FAVORITE EPISODES  (LIVE Event) Updating Your Relationship with Your Parents-Part 2 with Daniel Maté (LIVE Podcast) Updating Your Relationship with Your Parents -Part 1 with Daniel Maté Making Great Relationships with Rick Hanson, PhD Mother Hunger: How Adult Daughters Can Understand and Heal from Lost Nurturance, Protection, and Guidance with Kelly McDan How to Turn Self-Care Into a Way of Life with Dr. Judith Rabinor Uncovering Your Core Values Can You Use AI in Your Parenting?: Answering Your Parenting Questions-Anna, Laura and ChatGPT The Power of Acceptance with Seth Gillihan, PhD Growing Up in Public with Devorah Heitner, PhD Parenting The Most Challenging ids with Dayna Abraham Emotion Regulation for Parents with Hunter Clarke-Fields Strategies for Digital Well-Being: How to Reduce Stress, Gain Focus and Take Control of Your Life with Ann Seewald How to Regulate Your Nervous System with Jen Mann The Power of Deep Listening with Judith Rabinor, PHD How to Become a Better Listener with Guy Itzchakov Every Memory Deserves Respect: Finding Healing With EMDR Therapy with Michael Baldwin Parenting for Peace with Anna Seewald   TOP 10 EPISODES OF 2023 10. Cognitive Skills and Why They Matter with Betsy Hill 9. Living Well with Stress with Elissa Epel, PhD 8. Making Great Relationships with Rick Hanson, PhD 7. How to Become a Better Listener with Guy Itzchakov 6. Every Memory Deserves Respect: Finding Healing With EMDR Therapy with Michael Baldwin 5. Becoming Resilient with Anna Seewald 4. How to Beat Distraction, Expand Your Time and Focus on What Matters with Cassie Holmes 3. 13 Reasons Why Kids Don't Listen with Jen Lumanlan 2. Parenting for Peace with Anna Seewald 1. How to Break Away from Overworking, Overdoing and Underliving   SUPPORT THE SHOW, SHOW YOUR LOVE Become a patron on Patreon.com Make a one-time donation in any amount to say “Thank you!” Rate or write a review FULL SHOW NOTES www.authenticparenting.com/podcast HOW TO WORK WITH ANNA I would be thrilled to support you in your parenting journey! All listeners get 10% off on my services. Private Coaching Online courses and classes GET IN TOUCH Comments, questions, feedback, and love notes  USA listeners call 732-763-2576 and leave a voicemail. International listeners use the FREE Speak Pipe tool on my website Email: info@authenticparenting.com STAY CONNECTED Instagram Facebook Group-Authentic Parenting Community Thank you for listening!  With gratitude, Anna Seewald Parent Educator, Keynote Speaker, Author www.authenticparenting.com

Crosscurrents
Pelvic Dysfunction / SF City Attorney David Chiu / New Arrivals: Jen Lumanlan

Crosscurrents

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 2, 2023 26:50


In this episode, we meet one doctor who is tackling gender health disparities through pelvic floor physical therapy. Then, we learn why the rollout for driverless cars has hit a speed bump. We'll hear from SF City Attorney David Chiu about his push to rein in robo-taxis. And, a reading from Berkeley author Jen Lumanlan.

Upbringing
LIVE Q&A SERIES // Parenting Beyond Power with Jen Lumanlan of Your Parenting Mojo

Upbringing

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 19, 2023 48:14


We loved connecting with friend and colleague, author and speaker Jen Lumanlan of Your Parenting Mojo about her new book, Parenting Beyond Power! ✨ Tune in to learn more about ways to use connection and collaboration to transform your family — and the world! Visit Jen's website for ways to purchase her book and check below, Oregon folx, for information on her book tour as it passes through at the end of October!

The Numinous Podcast with Carmen Spagnola: Intuition, Spirituality and the Mystery of Life

My guest today is Jen Lumanlan host of the popular podcast, Your Parenting Mojo, and author of the book Parenting Beyond Power: How to Use Connection and Collaboration to Transform Your Family - and the World.    After attending Berkeley and Yale and following a traditional career path in sustainability consulting, Jen found that parenting was her toughest challenge yet. She went back to school for a master's degree in psychology focused on child development and another in education, and trained as a Co-Active coach to share what she learned with other parents.   In the book, she shares about her own struggles as a child and a content warning here for bereavement and discussion of disordered eating. For my listeners who are people of the global majority, the book is written from the perspective of a white parent grappling with unlearning the use of dominance and other more subtle aspects of white supremacy culture. In this conversation, it does take a minute to get around to stating explicitly that white parents do not have the same parents as parents who are Black, or Indigenous or Asian or other oppressed identities. I want to assure you we do get around to that and also that it is front and centre throughout the book, and it's handled with nuance. It's an excellent book for folks who are actively seeking or maybe just starting to be curious about how to dismantle systems of oppression and unhook from supremacy culture and the use of dominance and coercion at the family and relational level.   Here's how you can get Jen's book through a gift economy approach: https://yourparentingmojo.com/book/ References Decolonizing Non-Violent Communication, Meenadchi Needy: How to Advocate for your Needs and Claim your Sovereignty, Mara Glatzel My Collapse 101 course is included with membership in The Numinous Network Stacy Lee Kong of Friday Things explains the coercive control at work in the Jonah Hill/Sarah Brady text exchange My social media post/explainer on coercive control Why Giving Choices Doesn't Work And What To Do Instead, Your Parenting Mojo Podcast Dismantling White Supremacy Culture in our Families, Amanda Gross White Supremacy Culture, Tema Okun Zawn Villines on Facebook and their substack, Liberating Motherhood: For mothers who are pissed off about sexism, household chore inequality, and endless misogynistic bullshit, and for the allies who want a better world for all of us How to Get Away with Parenting with Malaika Dowler Pervasive Drive for Autonomy, Tomlin Wilding No Self, No Problem: How Neuropsychology Is Catching Up to Buddhism, Chris Niebauer   Like this episode? Review the podcast!

New Arrivals: A Socially-Distanced Book Tour
Jen Lumanlan book describes parenting beyond power

New Arrivals: A Socially-Distanced Book Tour

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 28, 2023 2:04


Jen Lumanlanlives in Berkeley. Her book, Parenting Beyond Power is about how we can make parenting easier.

This Is the Author
S8 E35: Alyssa Ages, Jen Lumanlan, and Daniel M. Jones

This Is the Author

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 26, 2023 17:57


In this episode, meet journalist Alyssa Ages, Your Parenting Mojo podcast host Jen Lumanlan, and video creator Daniel M. Jones. Tune in to hear each of these authors discuss what inspired them to write their audiobooks, and what they learned in the process of writing and recording. Secrets of Giants by Alyssa Ages: https://www.penguinrandomhouseaudio.com/book/707130/secrets-of-giants/ Parenting Beyond Power by Jen Lumanlan, MS, MEd: https://www.penguinrandomhouseaudio.com/book/729724/parenting-beyond-power/ Autism for Adults by Daniel M. Jones: https://www.penguinrandomhouseaudio.com/book/746559/autism-for-adults/

Grounded Families
Season 2, Episode 38: Jen Lumanlan on Parenting Beyond Power

Grounded Families

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 15, 2023


Jen Lumanlan is the host of Your Parenting Mojo podcast, which was named best research based parenting podcast by Lifehacker, and has been downloaded over 3 million times. After attending Berkeley and Yale and following a traditional career path in sustainability consulting, Jen found that parenting was her toughest challenge yet. She went back to school for a master's degree in psychology focused on child development, and another in education, and trained as a Co-active Coach to share what she learned with other parents. She is the author of the new book, Parenting Beyond Power: How to Use Connection and Collaboration to Transform your Family and the World. Jen also has a free quiz available for parents that helps you to identify the unmet need behind your child's behaviour and then some strategies to meet those needs which you can find here.Work with Julia Sign up for the FREE Workshop – Why You're Not Having SexConnect with Julia on Instagram

Authentic Parenting
How to Meet Your Children's Needs Without Neglecting Your Own with Jen Lumanlan

Authentic Parenting

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 12, 2023 54:00


Securely Attached
132. How to move out of power struggles and into cooperation with Jen Lumanlan

Securely Attached

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 12, 2023 63:56


Do you feel like you are constantly ping-ponging between two extremes—throwing around your authority and overpowering your child or feeling like they're running the show?   Jen Lumanlan, the creator of Your Parenting Mojo and the author of the new book, Parenting Beyond Power: How to Use Connection and Collaboration to Transform Your Family—and the World, is helping parents learn how to embark on a journey towards harmonious family life and a better world!   Say goodbye to time-outs, countdowns, and punishments that perpetuate power imbalances. Instead, embrace empathetic listening, understanding your child's needs, and collaborative problem-solving. The result? Parents no longer feel like martyrs and children's behavioral problems often start to decrease.   If you're ready to transform your family life while shaping a brighter future for your children, then this episode is a must-listen!     I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show! ✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren ✨ Send an email to sarah@drsarahbren.com ✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources 

Discomfortable
Getting Discomfortable with Jen Lumanlan

Discomfortable

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 12, 2023


Parenting Beyond Power.

Needy
Honoring Needs & Parenting Beyond Power feat. Jen Lumanlan

Needy

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 6, 2023 60:30 Transcription Available


Is it possible to have a relationship with our children that is mutually respectful? How do we push against societal messages saying that being a parent means having no needs?In today's episode, Jen Lumanlan, the founder of "Your Parenting Mojo," is here to share her wisdom on meeting our needs and those of our children. Together, we delve into the delicate balance between safety and autonomy as parents, exploring how to set boundaries that respect our own needs while honoring our children's independence.Jen is a researcher, parenting coach, and author. After becoming a parent, she went back to school for a masters in education and psychology focusing on child development to better understand why parents and children face the challenges they do. Her podcast (named the best research-based parenting podcast by LifeHacker) and new book, “Parenting Beyond Power” discuss the societal influences that make parenting hard and why we shouldn't see problems as individual failings.Tune in to hear more about…How to communicate with our children and find solutions that truly benefit everyone involvedThe importance of involving the child in decision-makingThe exaggeration of safety risks and labeling things as safety issuesPerfectionism as a way of seeking love and acceptanceQuestioning perpetuation of harmful systems and seeking changeHang out with JenOrder Jen's BookVisit Jen's WebsiteFollow Jen on InstagramListen to Your Parenting Mojo on Apple Podcasts or SpotifyResources from this episodeTake Jen's needs quiz to learn about your needs as a parentand my needs quiz if you want my support in learning how to nourish your needsLove Needy? Pretty please subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify and leave a rating & review.Really love Needy? Join the Needy Podcast Inner Circle! Courses, discounts, quarterly Q&As and more for a one-time or monthly donation of any amount. Exclusively for folks who love the Needy podcast. THANK YOU.Your needs matter.

Mindful Mama - Parenting with Mindfulness
Parenting Beyond Power - Jen Lumanlan [417]

Mindful Mama - Parenting with Mindfulness

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 5, 2023 53:25


Conventional discipline methods like time-outs, countdowns, and “consequences” teach children that it's OK for more powerful people to control others—a lesson they take out into the world. This is how we learned White supremacy, patriarchy, and capitalism from our parents—and we will replicate this with our children unless we make a different choice. How do we make a different choice? Jen Lumanlan comes on to talk about her new book! If you enjoyed this episode, and it inspired you in some way, I'd love to hear about it and know your biggest takeaway. Take a screenshot of you listening on your device, post it to your Instagram stories, and tag me @mindfulmamamentor. Have you left a review yet? All you have to do is go to Apple Podcasts or  Stitcher (or wherever you listen), and thanks for your support of the show! Jen Lumanlan holds a Master's in Psychology focused on Child Development and another in Education. She hosts the research-based podcast Your Parenting Mojo, and is the author of the new book Parenting Beyond Power: How to Use Connection and Collaboration to Transform Your Family - and the World! Get Hunter's best selling book, Raising Good Humans now! Over 200,000 copies sold! Click here to order and get book bonuses! And now Hunter's newly released book, Raising Good Humans Every Day, is available to order! Click here to get your copy! ABOUT HUNTER CLARKE-FIELDS: Hunter Clarke-Fields is a mindful mama mentor. She coaches smart, thoughtful parents on how to create calm and cooperation in their daily lives. Hunter has over 20 years of experience in mindfulness practices. She has taught thousands worldwide. Be a part of the tribe—we're over 25 thousand strong! Join the Mindful Parenting membership. Take your learning further! Get my Top 2 Best Tools to Stop Yelling AND the Mindful Parenting Roadmap for FREE at: mindfulmamamentor.com/stopyelling/ Find more podcasts, blog posts, free resources, and how to work with Hunter at MindfulMamaMentor.com. We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://mindfulmamamentor.com/mindful-mama-podcast-sponsors/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Authentic Parenting
13 Reasons Why Kids Don't Listen with Jen Lumanlan

Authentic Parenting

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 9, 2023 60:43


With my guest, a fellow podcaster, mom and parent coach Jen Lumanlan we took a deep dive into the many reasons (13 to be exact) why children don't listen, offered explanations and suggestions on exactly what to do about each one. It's super practical and helpful. Jen is the host of the Your Parenting Mojo podcast. She has created a handy infographic, whcih you can download at www.yourparentingmojo.com/authenticparenting We need to change the way we look at our kids' behaviors, ask better, more useful questions instead of moving through parenting on autopilot. SUPPORT THE SHOW, SHOW YOUR LOVE Become a patron on Patreon.com and join 20 exisiting memebers who contribute towards our monthly goal of $500.  Make a one-time donation in any amount to say “Thank you!” Rate or write a review FULL SHOW NOTES www.authenticparenting.com/podcast HOW TO WORK WITH ANNA I would be thrilled to support you in your parenting journey! All listeners get 10% off on my services. Private Coaching Online courses and classes GET IN TOUCH Comments, questions, feedback, and love notes  USA listeners call 732-763-2576 and leave a voicemail. International listeners use the FREE Speak Pipe tool on my website Email: info@authenticparenting.com STAY CONNECTED Instagram Facebook Group-Authentic Parenting Community Thank you for listening!  With gratitude, Anna Seewald Parent Educator, Keynote Speaker, Author www.authenticparenting.com    

What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood | Parenting Tips From Funny Moms

Do you feel like you're at the end of your rope with trying to get your kids to behave? Jen Lumanlan takes us through the steps for getting at the root cause of our children's behavior - and the root cause of our negative reactions, too. Jen Lumanlan is the host of the Your Parenting Mojo podcast, which Lifehacker named "Best Research-Based Parenting Podcast." She runs a course called Taming Your Triggers, which helps parents to understand why they feel triggered and to feel triggered less often. Jen holds a Master's in Psychology focused on Child Development and another in Education. Jen, Amy, and Margaret discuss: How to determine your child's most frequent needs (and when to do it) Where hair ties come into the picture The importance of non-cognitive shifts While inserting a "slip of paper" between our emotional response and our actions is important, the best thing we can do for ourselves and our kids is heal the reasons we are triggered by specific things in the first place. Here's where you can find Jen: @yourparentingmojo on FB/IG www.yourparentingmojo.com "Your Parenting Mojo" Podcast Links! 13 Reasons Your Child Doesn't Listen (And What To Do About Each One) cheat sheet: https://www.yourparentingmojo.com/whatfreshhell Taming Your Triggers workshop: https://www.yourparentingmojo.com/tamingyourtriggers Our "Pattern Breaking" episode Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. Author Accelerator's Book Coach Certification program provides resources to help you launch your own thriving business coaching writers. Head to bookcoaches.com/podcasts to find out more. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. If you want to live a more empowered life, therapy can get you there. Visit BetterHelp.com/FRESH today to get 10% off your first month.  Hello Fresh is America's #1 Meal Kit. Go to HelloFresh.com/wfhpod65 and use code wfhpod65 for 65% off plus free shipping! Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants that meet your must-have requirements. Visit indeed.com/LAUGHING to start hiring now. Terms and conditions apply. You can try Peloton Tread risk-free with a 30-day home trial. New members only. Not available in remote locations. See additional terms at onepeloton.com/home-trial. Rakuten is an online shopping platform that gives you cash back when you shop at thousands of stores. Start shopping at rakuten.com or get the Rakuten app to start saving today. Ritual's Essential for Women 18+ is a multivitamin you can actually trust. Visit ritual.com/laughing to get 10% off during your first 3 months. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Everyday Motherhood
324. Getting to the NEED with Jen Lumanlan

Everyday Motherhood

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 3, 2023 50:41


Sign up for the email list to get the behind-the-scenes view.  https://www.subscribepage.com/kcmo Want to try a coaching call-- sign up for a free 30-minute call: https://calendly.com/christythomas/exploratory-call-free   Getting to the NEED with Jen Lumanlan Jen Lumanlan holds an M.S. in Psychology (Child Development) and an M.Ed., and hosts the Your Parenting Mojo podcast, which is a reference guide for parents of children under the age of 10 based on scientific research and the principles of respectful parenting. In each issue, she examines a topic related to parenting and child development from all sides to help parents understand how to make decisions about raising their children. She lives in California with her husband and daughter. Research Based Ideas to Help Kids Thrive | Your Parenting Mojo   Don't forget to check out Jen's free gift: 13 Reasons Why Your Child Does Not Listen | Your Parenting Mojo   Self-Care Idea:  Spending time in nature.  Slowing and softening while she looks for mushrooms with her daughter.   Family Fun Idea:  Many things can be fun if you are not multi-tasking. Give your full presence; it's a gift.   GOOD ENOUGH MOM SOCIETY (christythomascoaching.com) You are exactly the right mom for your kids.  I am so glad to know you.  Find me on Instagram at @everyday_runner_christy Don't forget to SUBSCRIBE to this podcast Don't forget to leave a rating or review.  Email me Play4life.Christy@gmail.com  Want to share a family play idea?  Want to give Christy feedback?   Leave a message here.         Find me on Instagram:  Happiest Mom You Know (@everyday_runner_christy) • Instagram photos and videos Don't forget to leave a rating or review. Email me Play4life.Christy@gmail.com 

Your Parenting Mojo - Respectful, research-based parenting ideas to help kids thrive
Q&A #1: Should I let my child hit me, or a pillow? (& Anti-Racist Panel Recruitment)

Your Parenting Mojo - Respectful, research-based parenting ideas to help kids thrive

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 23, 2023 25:20


This episode kicks off a series of new episodes that I'm very excited about, which is based on listeners' questions. My goal is to produce shorter episodes that cut across the research base to help you answer the questions that are on your mind about your child's behavior and development. Our first question comes from Dee in New Zealand, who wants to know: should she should do what her preschooler is asking and buy a pair of inflatable boxing gloves so he can hit her when he's feeling angry. Or would hitting a pillow be a better option? If you'd like to submit your own question, you can record a video of yourself asking it in two minutes or less, upload it to a platform like Drive or Dropbox, and send a link to it at support@yourparentingmojo.com. Alternatively you can go to the homepage and click the button to record your question for an audio-only option. Other episodes referenced in this episode: Episode 159, Supporting girls' relationships with Dr. Marnina Gonick Jump to highlights (02:18) Parent Dee's question about her child (04:02) The six things going on in the question (06:19) The Catharsis Theory (07:18) Pointing out the difference in terminology about anger and aggression (09:38) Most of the research has studied cognitive behavioral therapy as a treatment for anger and aggression (11:22) The difference between adults and children in navigating situations (13:10) Anger in girls and boys (14:42) Addressing the difficult behavior instead of the reason for the behavior (16:00) The importance of self-regulation in managing feelings of anger (17:06) Most of us didn't have great role models for how to cope with anger (22:23) Things to do to help a child regulate their feelings [accordion] [accordion-item title="Click here to read the full transcript"] Jen Lumanlan 00:10 Hello and welcome to the Your Parenting Mojo podcast. And today I'm launching the first in a series of new episodes called Q&A. And my goal here is to take short questions from listeners and turn them into concise episodes that you can listen to for quick answers. When you have a specific question and you just want to know the answer to that question. I realize that it takes me a couple of weeks to research an average episode, and it takes you all a fairly long time to listen to it as well. And I know that while some folks really want to go in deep on learning about a specific topic, very often you just...

Find The Magic
215// Why We Get Triggered by Our Kids (& How To Do Better) with Jen Lumanlan

Find The Magic

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 17, 2023 55:12


Parenting is overwhelming and unpredictable. Even in the best of times we can find ourselves reacting instead of responding to our kid's big emotions or perceived disobedience. We know that we are in charge of our internal landscape but often that feels much easier said than executed. Today Felica chats with host of Your Parenting Mojo, Jen Lumanlan about how we can identify and tame our internal triggers to create healthier relationships with our kids. This work often involves delving into our personal BIG T or little t trauma as well as "trauma" that is less obvious; we discuss how we can work with these triggers and how to do so in a safe space. We walk through 13 common reasons our kids "don't listen" and strategies for navigating this as well! If you would like to dive deeper you can find the PDF HERE! You can find more from Jen @yourparentingmojo RELATED EPISODES Authoritative Parenting / Arguably the most EFFECTIVE Parenting Style Holding Boundaries / Discipline Pt. 1 Systems and Values for Easier Days and Stronger Family Connections Parenting with Unconditional Love How to Embrace Childhood Review of the Week from Sydnee So good!! I love how supportive and inspiring this podcast is, and I love that each person brings their own perspective on things! --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/findthemagic/support

Upbringing
LIVE Q&A SERIES // Tame Your Triggers, feel less flooded, approach your kids without losing it!

Upbringing

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 8, 2022 56:20


Every feel flooded? Triggered? Too emotionally hijacked to respond calmly to yourkids' big feelings and challenging behaviors? Join our conversation with Jen Lumanlan of Your Parenting Mojo to talk about ways to calm our minds and bodies so we don't keep losing our shit on our kids!Jen explores ways we can stop cycles of trauma and begin healing through our parenting practices. Her Taming Your Triggers Workshop is LIVE! This is the course we ALL need to be able to lean in with calm clarity to support our kids through their big feelings and challenging behaviors. CLICK TO LEARN MORE! Sliding scale pricing available -- Doors close this coming Wednesday, October 12th!Taming Your Triggers is a research-based approach that provides a solid foundation of tools and provides support, a nonjudgmental presence, and even lasting friendship through the community.When you join the Taming Your Triggers workshop, you'll learn:✔️What is a trigger, and how to identify yours✔️How to help your child WANT to cooperate with you, so you don't have to lose your cool✔️Where triggers come from - examining previously experienced trauma, as well as the stresses of daily life✔️How to use mindfulness (in just a few minutes a day!) to help you avoid being triggered in the first place, and respond more effectively when you are occasionally still triggered✔️How to recognize when you're in frame of mind that makes you susceptible to feeling triggered, and take specific steps to make yourself more trigger-proofCLICK TO LEARN MORE! Sliding scale pricing available -- Doors close Wednesday October 12th!Relevant Links:- Our Shop - GUIDES + PRINTS!- Our Resources Page- Our Coaching page- Amber Okamura, Upbringing's Artist- Mary Schroeder, Upbringing's Letterer- Alex Olavarria, our producer, musician, editor + husband/brother in lawVisit our website, www.upbringing.co to learn more about us and sign up for our newsletter! We want to hear your thoughts. We care deeply about what you think and how you're doin', so get in touch -- we're better together.Email us: info@upbringing.coFollow Upbringing on Instagram: @upbringing.coJoin us to explore topics such as: parenting, motherhood, discipline, resistance, RIE parenting, feminist parenting, toddlers, tantrums, potty training, mindful parenting, conscious parenting, evidence-based parenting, positive parenting, respectful parenting, simplicity parenting and positive discipline.

Unstuffed
Ep 38: Triggers in Parenting and How We Don't Have to Do It Alone with Jen Lumanlan

Unstuffed

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 28, 2022 43:15


Today I'm sitting down with Jen Lumanlan, the host of the Your Parenting Mojo podcast to talk about why we get mad at our kids and what we can learn about our own triggers when we do. This is a revolutionary way to look at parenting and sheds a whole new light on how to show up bigger for ourselves and our kids. Doing a deeper dive into our vices can help us learn so much about ourselves and what it is that we are hiding from -- and learning why they are there is the first step in actually letting go of them. How to Make Your First $1,000 on TikTok: https://www.reneebenes.com/pl/2147612120 105+ Things to Declutter: https://thefunsizedlife.ck.page/62cdedc528 How to Tame Triggers Around Your Child's Behavior: https://yourparentingmojo.com/triggersmasterclass/?oprid=2130&ref=15368

Less Drama More Mama
Triggers and Trauma with Jen Lumanlan – 216

Less Drama More Mama

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 27, 2022 53:57


Today's guest on the podcast is Jen Lumanlan, the host of the Your Parenting Mojo podcast, a reference guide for parents of young children based on scientific research and the principles of respectful parenting. In this interview, Jen and I talk about the impact of different types of trauma on parenting and what she calls the "trauma of unmet needs." We discuss how understanding our own needs and the needs of our children can help us problem-solve in situations when we feel triggered. And you'll hear Jen answer an email I received from a mom wanting to help her son struggling with ADHD and ODD. Tune in for this information-packed episode that's sure to give you several insights and ideas to help you with your parenting. Get full show notes and information at www.lessdramamoremama.com/216

What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood | Parenting Tips From Funny Moms

When you're locked in a battle of tug-o-war it can be extremely exhausting to keep up the fight. But there is a solution: dropping the rope. It may seem counterintuitive, but when you're in the middle of a conflict you've had many times before– when you're fighting for something that seems very important, or at least obvious– and then suddenly drop the rope, you're allowing the space for something different to occur. Here are the links to the resources we mentioned in the episode: Jen Lumanlan for Your Parenting Mojo: "Want to stop playing Tug of War with your child?" Our Fresh Take with Dr. Jill Stoddard on How to Manage Our Anxiety Our bookshop! Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: Betterhelp online therapy is affordable, confidential, and effective! Give it a try and see if online therapy can help lower your stress. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/fresh. Credit Karma helps you find low-interest personal loans that may well have lower interest rates than your credit cards do now! Head to creditkarma.com/loanoffers to see your personalized offers. Faherty is a family-run brand making high-quality, timeless clothing with modern design and functionality. Head to fahertybrand.com/FRESH and use the code FRESH to snag 20% off. Firstleaf is a no-brainer if you love finding and tasting new wine! Join today and you'll get 6 bottles of wine for $29.95 and free shipping! Just go to tryfirstleaf.com/LAUGHING.  KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun. Get 30% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line at kiwico.com with the code MOTHERHOOD. Ladder helps you find life insurance without the hassle! Go to ladderlife.com/laughing today to see if you're instantly approved for up to $3 million in term life insurance. Outschool helps kids explore their interests and discover new ones! Save $15 on your child's first class at outschool.com/laughing with the code LAUGHING. Peloton has workouts or everyone. And the Peloton Bike+ is now $500 less, its best price yet, including FREE delivery and setup! Visit onepeloton.com to learn more. Prose now makes supplements personally tailored to address your specific cause of hair shedding. Get your free in-depth consultation and 15% off your custom hair supplements at prose.com/laughing.  Shopify powers millions of businesses, from first sale to full-scale. Go to shopify.com/fresh for a free 14-day trial and get full access to Shopify's entire suite of features. StoryWorth is an online service that helps you and your loved ones connect through sharing stories and memories and preserves them for years to come. Save $10 off your first purchase at storyworth.com/whatfreshhell. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Parenting Forward
146: Taming Your Parenting Triggers w/ Jen Lumanlan

Parenting Forward

Play Episode Listen Later May 23, 2022 48:03


Ever been triggered by your child's behavior? It can feel uncontrollable. No matter how hard we try to hold ourselves back when our child behaves a certain way, it immediately puts us into triggered mode. Jen Lumanlan addressed this in her talk at my recent Parenting is Revolutionary conference. Jen holds an MS in Psychology (Child Development) and is the host of the Your Parenting Mojo podcast. She is an amazing reference guide for parents of young kids and shares great parenting advice based on scientific research and the principles of respectful parenting.  In this episode, I'm sharing a snippet of Jen's talk from the conference. She shares a little more about her background and experience with parenting triggers and teaches us how to tame these emotions when they come up. This topic is extremely important for parents at this time so tune in to learn from Jen.   Show Highlights: Where triggered feelings come from. The window of tolerance. Big T trauma and little T trauma. The many different fronts we have to heal on to tame our parenting triggers. How to get more of your daily needs met. How to widen your window of tolerance. Physical habits you can implement to remind yourself to pause. Why it's important to share our authentic feelings with our children. The different triggers that come with having toddlers, adolescents, and teenagers. What it means to feel flooded.   Links (affiliates included): Jen's website - https://www.parentingmojo.com/ Parenting is Revolutionary Conference Recordings: https://www.parentingforwardconference.com/2022-sessions Parenting After Religious Trauma Membership - https://cindy-brandt.mykajabi.com/partmembership Help keep the podcast going by joining the Parenting Forward Patreon Team - https://www.patreon.com/cindywangbrandt Parenting Forward, the Book - https://amzn.to/3g0LJPn1Little  You Are Revolutionary - https://www.beamingbooks.com/store/product/9781506478302/You-Are-Revolutionary   *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

Upbringing
LIVE Q&A SERIES // Sensitive kids and how to build resilience, attunement + self-love

Upbringing

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 21, 2022 49:52


Thank you for a great convo!Parenting is revolutionary and the way we treat our kids can change the world. Last chance to enroll in the virtual Parenting Forward Conference, beginning April 25th! We loved connecting with Cindy Wang Brandt about how to support sensitive kids. The conference also hosts some of our favorite parenting leaders of all time: Mr. Chazz, Rosalia Rivera, Jen Lumanlan, Shelly Robinson, Leslie Priscilla Arreola-Hillenbrand and Vivek Patel, among others -- Learn from experts and join the revolution! Virtual Conference topics:- Raising Sensitive Children- Preventing Childhood Abuse- Helping Kids Develop Socio-Emotional Tools- 3 Things You Need to Know about the Teenage Brain- Repairing Parenting Mistakes- Advocating for Trans Families- Representing Marginalized Stories in Children's Lit- Taming Your Triggers- Reparenting Yourself- Parenting the Early Years- Befriending Anger and Grief in Parenting- Breaking Cycles of Traditional ParentingEnroll in the Parenting Forward Conference, beginning April 25th!Looking for some support for challenges within mealtime, bedtime, hygiene, transitions, big feelings, resistance, screentime, homework, sibling conflict, anxiety, yelling, mean words and more?TUNE IN and VISIT OUR WEBSITE to build skills in:

Upbringing
THE 10 WAYS WE PARENT FOR SANITY + SOCIAL CHANGE!

Upbringing

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 21, 2022 46:51


Today's episode is a re-airing of one of our top podcasts where we explore 10 ways we are attempting to parent for sanity and social change through our discipline. We'll be on a quick spring break and back to you all soon!Parenting is revolutionary and the way we treat our kids can change the world. Last chance to enroll in the virtual Parenting Forward Conference, beginning April 25th! We loved connecting with Cindy Wang Brandt about how to support sensitive kids. The conference also hosts some of our favorite parenting leaders of all time: Mr. Chazz, Rosalia Rivera, Jen Lumanlan, Shelly Robinson, Leslie Priscilla Arreola-Hillenbrand and Vivek Patel, among others -- Learn from experts and join the revolution! Virtual Conference topics:- Raising Sensitive Children- Preventing Childhood Abuse- Helping Kids Develop Socio-Emotional Tools- 3 Things You Need to Know about the Teenage Brain- Repairing Parenting Mistakes- Advocating for Trans Families- Representing Marginalized Stories in Children's Lit- Taming Your Triggers- Reparenting Yourself- Parenting the Early Years- Befriending Anger and Grief in Parenting- Breaking Cycles of Traditional ParentingEnroll in the Parenting Forward Conference, beginning April 25th!#DoTheWork #SpiritedKids #AntiracistParenting #ParentingTips #Reparenting #RespectfulParenting #RIE #ConsciousParenting #Parenting #FeministParenting #GentleParenting #PositiveDiscipline #Selfhealers #EmotionalIntelligence #SelfImprovement #RaisingTheFutureDisclaimer: Hannah & Kelty are parenting coaches and do not work in a professional therapist's or MD capacity to diagnose or treat mental health disorders. They cannot advise parents on issues such as drug addiction, eating disorders, self-harm, severe psychiatric disorders, child abuse, assault, etc. Work with us to explore topics such as: parenting, motherhood, discipline, resistance, RIE parenting, feminist parenting, toddlers, tantrums, potty training, mindful parenting, conscious parenting, evidence-based parenting, positive parenting, respectful parenting, simplicity parenting and positive discipline.Relevant Links:- Our Freedoms Model- Our RESIST Approach- Our Shop - GUIDES + PRINTS!- Our Resources Page- Our Coaching page- Amber Okamura, Upbringing's Artist- Mary Schroeder, Upbringing's Letterer- Alex Olavarria, our producer, musician, editor + husband/brother in lawVisit our website, www.upbringing.co to learn more about us and sign up for our newsletter! We want to hear your thoughts. We care deeply about what you think and how you're doin', so get in touch -- we're better together.Email us: info@upbringing.coFollow Upbringing on Instagram: @upbringing.coJoin us to explore topics such as: parenting, motherhood, discipline, resistance, RIE parenting, feminist parenting, toddlers, tantrums, potty training, mindful parenting, conscious parenting, evidence-based parenting, positive parenting, respectful parenting, simplicity parenting and positive discipline.

Upbringing
LIVE Q&A SERIES // The top 6 roles we strive to embody as parents! Convo w/ Jen Lumanlan of Your Parenting Mojo

Upbringing

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 9, 2022 61:16


Our Right From The Start baby video course and community is now OPEN for enrollment! The course will bring you both the reassurance AND information you need in your baby's first year to make the decisions that are uniquely right for your family. ✨ No prescribed rules, no perfection to attain… Just the essentials to help you move forward with clarity and confidence.In nine modules over eight weeks, Right from the Start will help you to:✔️ Understand what scientific research says about baby's sleep, attachment, feeding, play and other essential topics✔️ Know that you're doing the best you can for your baby's development✔️ Find your sense of yourself again (or maintain it if you're not yet a parent!)✔️ Let go of the overwhelm and worry that there isn't enough of you to go around✔️ Get clear on how to parent your baby with alignment of your greater values✔️ Find support and strength in a community of like-minded parents and parents-to-beNot just focused on quick fixes for daily challenges, this course will help you lay the critical groundwork for a lifelong relationship with your child based in trust, collaboration and respect. ✨If you're expecting or are the parent of a child under 1, the Right from the Start course is for you.Click HERE to learn more…Sliding scale pricing is available, and no-one is turned away for lack of funds.

The Shameless Mom Academy
627: Laurel Handfield: From Low Self-Worth And Self-Harm To Creating Books For Girls Of Color

The Shameless Mom Academy

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 23, 2022 43:12


Laurel Handfield began her writing career years ago in a small, suburban town outside of Philadelphia, PA. In college, she majored in business marketing and after graduation, she worked in sales, marketing, and advertising. However, a trip to the Bahamas led to a shift in focus and a rediscovery of her true passion: writing. Her vacation to the islands turned into an unexpected romance when she met and fell in love with her now-husband. After two years in a long-distance relationship, she decided to move to the Bahamas permanently. While life in the Bahamas was slower and more relaxed, she also discovered that her marketing career didn't hold quite as much opportunity on the islands as it did in the United States, so she went back to creating. She wrote and ghostwrote over five full-length novels, including a fictional tale about the only Black family on the Titanic. Today, Laurel creates coloring/activity books for young girls of color. She still calls the Bahamas home and enjoys the laid-back island life with her husband, three children, and two dogs. Listen in to hear Laurel share: Her journey of building her self esteem as a young Black girl and then a Black woman The impact of being teased for her looks and physical attributes as a young girl How the impact of her low self-worth led to self-harm in the form of an eating disorder How she healed from her low self-esteem and eating disorder - and recognized what an epidemic there was around the struggles she was facing What inspired her work to create books and coloring books for girls of color How moms can affirm their daughter's worth in different ways Her advice to moms who might want to write a book Links mentioned: Join me in Jen Lumanlan's 10 week Taming Your Triggers workshop: shamelessmom.com/taming Connect with Laurel: www.happyislandpress.com Laurel's Books on Amazon: Happy Island Press Laurel on FB Laurel on IG Laurel on TikTok Please find our sponsor information here: shamelessmom.com/sponsor/

The Shameless Mom Academy
626: Sara & Laura Cathcart Robbins Recap Their Dr. Phil Appearance and CRT

The Shameless Mom Academy

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 21, 2022 56:24


Back in August of 2021, I got a text from my dear friend Laura Cathcart Robbins: “Sara, I know this is crazy, but I'm going on the Dr. Phil show on Wednesday to talk about CRT and they've just asked me if I know of any white moms who might be willing to speak as an ally and I thought of you. Would this be something you would consider?” I thought for a solid 30 seconds, felt like I might vomit, and then said YES.   The next day, I flew to LA to record the show.   It was a whirlwind event around a huge topic: Should Critical Race Theory be Taught in Schools?  This week, I asked Laura if she would come on the SMA (for the 3rd time - WHOOP!) to have a conversation around our experience and around Critical Race Theory in America.    If you're not familiar with Laura, she is the host of the popular podcast, The Only One In The Room (you must subscribe!), and author of the forthcoming Atria/Simon& Schuster memoir, STASH (due out in spring of 2023). She has been active for many years as a speaker and school trustee and is credited for creating The Buckley School's nationally recognized committee on Diversity, Equity, Inclusion, and Justice. Her recent articles in Huffpo and The Temper on the subjects of race, recovery, and divorce have garnered her worldwide acclaim. She is a LA Moth StorySlam winner and currently sits on the advisory boards of the San Diego Writer's Festival and the Outliers HQ podcast Festival. In this conversation, Laura and I dig into: Why each of us said YES to appearing on Dr. Phil Some of the behind the scenes surprises while taping the show What Critical Race Theory actually is Our takeaways from the conversation we had with 6 other guests on the show - all of whom had strong opinions and some very opposed to ours What the media is actually talking about when they talk about “Critical Race Theory in schools” Steve Bannon's involvement in creating an intentionally divisive conversation for Conservatives to more easily pave the road to the White House What is actually being taught in schools that is being misrepresented as Critical Race Theory Why age appropriate race education is crucial in schools Links mentioned: Join me in Jen Lumanlan's 10 week Taming Your Triggers workshop: shamelessmom.com/taming Connect with Laura: theonlyonepod.com/ Podcast: The Only One In The Room Laura on YouTube Laura on IG Please find our sponsor information here: shamelessmom.com/sponsor/

Upbringing
LIVE Q&A SERIES // Tame Your Triggers, feel less flooded, approach your kids without losing it!

Upbringing

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 18, 2022 70:02


Every feel flooded? Triggered? Too emotionally hijacked to respond calmly to your kids' big feelings and challenging behaviors? Join our conversation with Jen Lumanlan of Your Parenting Mojo to talk about ways to calm our minds and bodies so we don't keep losing our shit on our kids!Jen explores ways we can stop cycles of trauma and begin healing through our parenting practices. Her Taming Your Triggers Course is LIVE! This is the course we ALL need to be able to lean in with calm clarity to support our kids through their big feelings and challenging behaviors. CLICK TO LEARN MORE! Sliding scale pricing available -- Doors close Wednesday, February 23rd!Taming Your Triggers is a research-based approach that provides a solid foundation of tools and provides support, a nonjudgmental presence, and even lasting friendship through the community.When you join the Taming Your Triggers workshop, you'll learn:- What is a trigger, and how to identify yours- How to help your child WANT to cooperate with you, so you don't have to lose your cool- Where triggers come from - examining previously experienced trauma, as well as the stresses of daily life- How to use mindfulness (in just a few minutes a day!) to help you avoid being triggered in the first place, and respond more effectively when you are occasionally still triggered- How to recognize when you're in frame of mind that makes you susceptible to feeling triggered, and take specific steps to make yourself more trigger-proofCLICK TO LEARN MORE! Sliding scale pricing available -- Doors close Wednesday February 23rd!Join us to realign your personal values with your daily parenting practices when it comes to supporting your kid's big feelings + challenging behaviors. We'll build skills, connection and solidarity together over four 2-hour sessions. Head on over to our link in bio or www.Upbringing.co/smallgroupcoaching to learn more…Tune in and connect on our LIVE Q&As every week on Instagram. Catch up on past LIVE session on our IGTV tab. As always, we laugh, we cry, we lean in… join us!Relevant Links:- Our Freedoms Model- Our RESIST Approach- Our Shop - GUIDES + PRINTS!- Our Resources Page- Our Coaching page- Amber Okamura, Upbringing's Artist- Mary Schroeder, Upbringing's Letterer- Alex Olavarria, our producer, musician, editor + husband/brother in lawVisit our website, www.upbringing.co to learn more about us and sign up for our newsletter! We want to hear your thoughts. We care deeply about what you think and how you're doin', so get in touch -- we're better together.Email us: info@upbringing.coFollow Upbringing on Instagram: @upbringing.coJoin us to explore topics such as: parenting, motherhood, discipline, resistance, RIE parenting, feminist parenting, toddlers, tantrums, potty training, mindful parenting, conscious parenting, evidence-based parenting, positive parenting, respectful parenting, simplicity parenting and positive discipline.

The Shameless Mom Academy
625: Melissa Guida-Richards: What White Parents Should Know About Transracial Adoption

The Shameless Mom Academy

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 16, 2022 48:16


Melissa Guida-Richards is a Shameless Mom to two little boys and the author of WHAT WHITE PARENTS SHOULD KNOW ABOUT TRANSRACIAL ADOPTION. Melissa uses her gift of writing to help other adoptees and adoptive families. Her work has been featured in The Independent, Zora, Insider, HuffPo, Level at Medium, Electric Literature, Hello Giggles. And she had a viral Huffpost Article, My Adoptive Parents Hid My Racial Identity For 19 Years. She is also a contributing writer for The Everymom. I am in a Facebook group for writers and when Melissa shared a bit of her story in that group, I immediately reached out to ask her if she'd be willing to join me here on the podcast. I'm so grateful that she said yes.   Listen in to hear Melissa share: Her adoption story of being adopted from an orphanage in Colombia, being raised in New York, and not being told she was adopted until age 19 The process of discovering she was Latina, not Portuguese Italian, as her family had led her to believe The process of having her article, My Adoptive Parents Hid My Racial Identity For 19 Years, go viral The evolution of her relationship with her parents in the years after discovering she was adopted What inspired her to write her first book, What White Parents Should Know About Transracial Adoption Important notes for white adoptive parents or prospective white adoptive parents Her experience of finding her biological sisters and mom How having her own children created an entire process of grieving around her adoption How she's connected to her Colombian culture as an adult and as a mom raising Colombian sons Links mentioned: Join me in Jen Lumanlan's 10-week Taming Your Triggers workshop: shamelessmom.com/taming Connect with Melissa: AdopteeThoughts.com  Melissa's Book, What White Parents Should Know About Transracial Adoption Melissa on IG Please find our sponsor information here: shamelessmom.com/sponsor/

The Mom Room
EP165. Patriarchy and Parenting, with Your Parenting Mojo Host, Jen Lumanlan

The Mom Room

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 15, 2022 48:49


EP165. Jen is the creator behind Your Parenting Mojo. In this episode she tells us about the intersection of social justice (capitalism, patriarchy, and white supremacy) and parenting. Why are we so triggered or flooded by our children's behaviours? Renee sheds a tear in this one! RENEE REINA Instagram: @themomroompodcast | @reneereina_ The Mom Room Shop TikTok: @reneereina_ Facebook Community JEN LUMANLAN Instagram: @yourparentingmojo Podcast: Your Parenting Mojo Website: www.yourparentingmojo.com Youtube: Your Parenting Mojo SPONSORS Magic Mind. The Adventures of Cairo by Wondery. Dipsea. Organifi. Once Upon a Farm. Dooney & Bourke. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Shameless Mom Academy
624: 8 Top Triggers for Moms in 2022

The Shameless Mom Academy

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 14, 2022 38:20


For the last couple weeks, I have been talking about triggers in parenting - and life. I had to laugh as I was putting together content for this episode. As I was preparing my notes early one morning, Vinnie told me his “nose was burning.” He shared this about 7 minutes before we were supposed to leave for school. Of course. Given the current Covid climate, I couldn't just send him to school. We had to talk through a litany of symptoms, take his temperature, run a rapid Covid test… All the damn things required if one has the slightest inkling their child might be bringing germs to school.   The Covid test came back negative, but with a sore throat (aka “burning nose”) and a bit of congestion on board, V had to stay home from school. This was NOT the plan I had for my day. NOT AT ALL.  I found myself totally triggered in the middle of creating this episode on the top triggers facing moms in 2022. Talk about ironic timing… I know I'm not the only mom who is super over the constant uncertainty of every single day, the endless pivoting of best laid plans, and the chronic fatigue of juggling 197 things #everydamnday.   In this episode, I share the 8 top triggers impacting moms right now as well. It is my hope that you will feel seen and held as reflect on all that you are being expected to manage right now. Then I offer you some “medicine” to support your mental and emotional health as you continue to show up day after day doing your very best.   As always, we are in this together. I'm losing my shit just as often as you… promise. Let's stick together, shall we. Link mentioned: Join me in Jen Lumanlan's 10 week Taming Your Triggers workshop: shamelessmom.com/taming   Please find our sponsor information here: shamelessmom.com/sponsor/

The Shameless Mom Academy
Ep 623: Jen Lumanlan: Taming Your Triggers In Motherhood

The Shameless Mom Academy

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 9, 2022 57:21


Jen Lumanlan holds a Masters in Psychology in Child Development and hosts the Your Parenting Mojo podcast, which is a reference guide for parents of children between the toddler and elementary years based on scientific research and the principles of respectful parenting. In each episode, she examines a topic related to parenting and child development from all sides to help parents understand how to make decisions about raising their children. She lives in California with her husband and daughter. This is Jen's second time on the show. She is back this time to talk about taming your triggers in parenting, which is a very timely topic, like every parent I know is feeling especially spread thin and beyond exhausted after enduring the last two years. We dig into the concept of parenting triggers and then Jen coaches me about a trigger that is very front and center in my own parenting journey right now. Please enjoy hearing me get uncomfortable!  Listen in to hear Jen share: Why you're feeling triggered by your child's behavior How your parenting triggers might be connected to your own “little t” traumas or “big T” traumas of your past How your own trauma of unmet needs impacts your parenting The “magic bullet” to help you manage guilt and shame in hard parenting moments Coaching me through raising an extrovert who likes to be really loud all the time Scripts you can use to navigate conversations with your child so you can both get your needs met in hard moments The connection between our parenting and smashing the patriarchy The value in practicing repairing your relationship with your child after having a hard moment How to work with her (and me!) in her 10-week workshop, Taming Your Triggers Links mentioned: Sign up for Jen's free Masterclass on February 12th: How to Tame Your Triggers Around Your Child's Difficult Behavior: shamelessmom.com/triggers Join me and enroll in Jen's 10-week workshop, Taming Your Triggers between February 13th-23rd: shamelessmom.com/taming Book: Set Boundaries, Find Peace Please find our sponsor information here: shamelessmom.com/sponsor/

The Shameless Mom Academy
Ep 622: You Don't Need To Be A Better Mom

The Shameless Mom Academy

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 7, 2022 27:09


I was in a conversation with a coaching client the other day and we were hashing out some details around her company branding and mission. She is a badass coach who works with moms who want to learn how to prioritize themselves in order to shift the relationship to self and the way they parent to overcome things like mom rage and all the other overwhelming emotions that come with momming on any given day.  As we were talking through some ideas, she mentioned how the moms she works with want to “become better moms”. I found myself nodding along. Yes, of course! Who doesn't want to be a better mom?! The next morning. I found myself in the shower thinking about this conversation and I had a visceral reaction. NO. WE DON'T NEED TO BECOME BETTER MOMS.   I get that we desire to be our very best for our kids.   And we always want to become better versions of ourselves.   I know so many of you listening are committed to growth and evolution and doing better when it comes to everything from the way you mother to the way you show up at work to the way you participate as a good citizen in your communities.   But, if we are carrying with us this constant idea that, “I need to be a better mom”, we are likely carrying guilt, shame and a strong sense of not enoughness.   It is quite possible that your desire to “become a better mom” is completely undermining the incredible mother you already are. In this episode, I dig into how you can change your mindset around the mother you currently are in order to bring more joy and peace to mothering and life in general.   You are already an amazing mom. Full stop.  Link mentioned: Sign up for Jen Lumanlan's free Masterclass on February 12th: How to Tame Your Triggers Around Your Child's Difficult Behavior: shamelessmom.com/triggers Please find our sponsor information here: shamelessmom.com/sponsor/

FamilyPreneur: Parent Entrepreneurs Raising KidPreneurs
Taming Your Triggers with Jen Lumanlan

FamilyPreneur: Parent Entrepreneurs Raising KidPreneurs

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 2, 2022 45:18


When our children do (often age-appropriate!) things that drive us up the wall, our instinctive reaction is often to MAKE IT STOP! But the real reason we feel triggered by our child's behavior is not the thing they're doing; it's because of trauma we've experienced ourselves. In this episode we'll learn how we can understand and heal from that trauma, so we can show up in relationships with our children in a way that's aligned with our values. In this episode, we discuss: Why we have such a hard time when our children misbehave. Some of the most common ways that overwhelmed parents react to their children's behavior. How intergenerational trauma affects our relationships with our children. Tools you can use to respond to your child's behavior, instead of reacting. How to repair a relationship with your child after you've reacted in a way that isn't aligned with your values. About Jen Jen Lumanlan holds a Masters degree in Psychology (Child Development) and a Masters in Education, she hosts the Your Parenting Mojo podcast which is a reference guide for parents of children aged between the toddler and preschooler years based on scientific research and the principles of respectful parenting. In each episode she examines a topic related to parenting and child development from all sides to help parents understand how to make decisions about raising their children. She lives in California with her husband and daughter. Connect with Jen Website Facebook Instagram YouTube Learn more about the FamilyPreneur Business Accelerator and join today at »familypreneur.co« I'm committed to building an inclusive and anti-racist business. I support LGBTQIA+ rights and the rights of all intersectional identities. I believe that business should be a force for dismantling systems of oppression and actively invest in my own learning to fulfill this role. »Read My Full DEI Statement HERE« Would you like to deliver your own private podcast feed to your audience? Sign up for a free trial today at Hello Audio.

The Empowered Woman - Badass & Unfiltered
S6:E1 - Taming Your Triggers with Host of Your Parenting Mojo Jen Lumanlan

The Empowered Woman - Badass & Unfiltered

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 2, 2022 50:57


Have you noticed yourself having a short fuse with the people you love the most? From your significant other, to parents or your children?In this episode Olivia interviews Jen Lumanlan.Jen holds an M.S. in Psychology (Child Development) and an M.Ed., and hosts the Your Parenting Mojo podcast which is a reference guide for parents of children aged between the toddler and elementary years based on scientific research and the principles of respectful parenting.In each episode she examines a topic related to parenting and child development from all sides to help parents understand how to make decisions about raising their children.What you'll learn in this episode;How Jen started Your Parenting Mojo. The feeling of being triggered vs. being flooded when you find yourself exploding at someoneThe difference between Big T Trauma and little t trauma. How to create space to respond after being triggered instead of just reacting in a way you know you'll regret laterJen's theory about how we don't really need control, and that our sense that we 'need' control covers up our fearsOlivia sits on the hot seat and talks about her personal triggers and her childhood trauma - and how she can stop snapping at her husband when he suggests ways for Olivia to improve her podcast editing workflow that Olivia already knows won't work for. Free How to tame your triggers around your child's behavior masterclass: https://www.yourparentingmojo.com/TheEmpoweredWomanFreeMasterclassTaming Your Triggers workshop: https://www.yourparentingmojo.com/TheEmpoweredWomanTYTWorkshop

The Blissful Parenting Podcast
Taming Your Triggers As A Parent with Jen Lumanlan

The Blissful Parenting Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 31, 2022 38:55


If you're usually a calm and reasonable person, it can be very confusing when that calm vanishes the moment your child frustrates you. At first we think, if my child would just stop doing that I would be fine. But the truth is there's an underlying fear your child's behavior is triggering and it usually comes from a trauma in your own childhood. Maybe not a huge trauma, maybe a small way that you learned to set aside your needs. And when your child behaves in this way it triggers those same feelings of not having your needs met. Jen Lumanlan is on the podcast today to share with us how we can defuse and regulate our reactions while giving ourselves grace and kindness. Jen Lumanlan holds an M.S. in Psychology (Child Development) and an M.Ed., and hosts the Your Parenting Mojo podcast which is a reference guide for parents of toddlers and preschoolers based on scientific researchers and the principles of respectful parenting.  In each episode she examines a topic related to parenting and child development from all sides to help parents understand how to make decisions about raising their children.  She lives in California with her husband and daughter. Connect with Jen Lumanlan http://www.yourparentingmojo.com (www.yourparentingmojo.com) Join us LIVE each week in our Facebook Group … https://www.facebook.com/groups/blissfulparenting (https://www.facebook.com/groups/blissfulparenting) Connect with Blissful Parenting: Free Workshop ► https://www.blissfulparentingworkshop.com (https://www.BlissfulParentingWorkshop.com)  Website ► http://www.theblissfulparent.com/ (http://www.TheBlissfulParent.com/)  Blog ► http://www.theblissfulparent.com/blog (http://www.TheBlissfulParent.com/blog)  Podcast ► http://www.theblissfulparent.com/podcast/ (http://www.TheBlissfulParent.com/podcast/)  Contact ►http://www.blissfulparenting.com/contact (http://www.BlissfulParenting.com/contact)  Follow Us On Social Media: Youtube ► https://www.youtube.com/theblissfulparent (https://www.youtube.com/theblissfulparent)   Facebook ► https://www.facebook.com/theblissfulparent (https://www.facebook.com/theblissfulparent)   Instagram ► https://www.instagram.com/theblissfulparent/ (https://www.instagram.com/theblissfulparent/)   Twitter ►https://twitter.com/blissfulparent (https://twitter.com/blissfulparent)   Thanks for listening! Thanks so much for listening to our podcast! If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it using the social media buttons on this page. Do you have some feedback or questions about this episode? Leave a note in the comment section below! Subscribe to the podcast If you would like to get automatic updates of new podcast episodes, you can subscribe to the podcast on iTunes or Stitcher. You can also subscribe to the podcast app on your mobile device. Leave us an iTunes review Ratings and reviews from our listeners are extremely valuable to us and greatly appreciated. They help our podcast rank higher on iTunes, which exposes our show to more awesome listeners like you. If you have a minute, please leave an honest review on iTunes.

Upbringing
LIVE Q&A SERIES // Tame Your Triggers, feel less flooded, approach your kids without losing it!

Upbringing

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 1, 2021 58:59


Every feel flooded? Triggered? Too emotionally hijacked to put your new parenting values and skills into practice? Join our conversation with Jen Lumanlan of Your Parenting Mojo to talk about ways to calm our minds and bodies so we don't keep losing our shit on our kids!Jen explores ways we can stop cycles of trauma and begin healing through our parenting practices. Her Taming Your Triggers Course is LIVE! This is the course we ALL need to be able to lean in with calm clarity to support our kids through their big feelings and challenging behaviors. CLICK TO LEARN MORE! Sliding scale pricing available -- Doors close August 11th!Taming Your Triggers is a research-based approach that provides a solid foundation of tools and provides support, a nonjudgmental presence, and even lasting friendship through the community.When you join the Taming Your Triggers workshop, you'll learn:- What is a trigger, and how to identify yours- Where triggers come from - examining previously experienced trauma, as well as the stresses of daily life- How to use mindfulness (in just a few minutes a day!) to help you avoid being triggered in the first place, and respond more effectively when you are occasionally still triggered- How to recognize when you're in frame of mind that makes you susceptible to feeling triggered, and take specific steps to make yourself more trigger-proof- How to help your child WANT to cooperate with you, so you don't have to lose your coolCLICK TO LEARN MORE! Sliding scale pricing available -- Doors close August 11th!SPIRITED KIDS CLUB! LEARN MORE + GRAB YOUR SPOT FOR AUGUST OR SEPTEMBER -- Booking is limited!Tune in and connect on our LIVE Q&As, every Tuesday at 5PM PST on Instagram. Catch up on past LIVE session on our IGTV tab. As always, we laugh, we cry, we lean in… join us!Relevant Links:- Our Freedoms Model- Our RESIST Approach- Our Shop - GUIDES + PRINTS!- Our Resources Page- Our Coaching page- Amber Okamura, Upbringing's Artist- Mary Schroeder, Upbringing's Letterer- Alex Olavarria, our producer, musician, editor + husband/brother in lawContact us! We want to hear your thoughts. We care deeply about what you think and how you're doin', so get in touch -- we're better together.Email us: info@upbringing.coFollow Upbringing on Instagram: @upbringing.coJoin us to explore topics such as: parenting, motherhood, discipline, resistance, RIE parenting, feminist parenting, toddlers, tantrums, potty training, mindful parenting, conscious parenting, evidence-based parenting, positive parenting, respectful parenting, simplicity parenting and positive discipline.

Upbringing
BONUS EP! Support Your Baby Right From The Start! Convo w/ Jen of Your Parenting Mojo!

Upbringing

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 21, 2021 37:57


Our Right From The Start online course doors open TODAY!We loved sitting down with Jen Lumanlan of Your Parenting Mojo and chatting all things babies and new parenthood, whether it's your first or fifth child!Our Right From The Start video course and community will bring you both the reassurance AND information you need in your baby's first year to make the decisions that are uniquely right for your family. ✨ No prescribed rules, no perfection to attain… Just the essentials to help you move forward with clarity and confidence.In nine modules over eight weeks, Right from the Start will help you to:✔️ Understand what scientific research says about baby's sleep, attachment, feeding, play and other essential topics✔️ Know that you're doing the best you can for your baby's development✔️ Find your sense of yourself again (or maintain it if you're not yet a parent!)✔️ Let go of the overwhelm and worry that there isn't enough of you to go around✔️ Get clear on how to parent your baby with alignment of your greater values✔️ Find support and strength in a community of like-minded parents and parents-to-be Not just focused on quick fixes for daily challenges, this course will help you lay the critical groundwork for a lifelong relationship with your child based in trust, collaboration and respect. ✨ If you're expecting or are the parent of a child under 1, the Right from the Start course is for you.Click HERE to learn more… ✨ DOORS CLOSE WEDNESDAY JUNE 30TH! Sliding scale pricing is available, and no-one is turned away for lack of funds.

Your Parenting Mojo - Respectful, research-based parenting ideas to help kids thrive
139: How to keep your child safe from guns (even if you don't own one)

Your Parenting Mojo - Respectful, research-based parenting ideas to help kids thrive

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 20, 2021 44:55


Many of us haven't been in each other's homes for a while now, but pretty soon we'll be getting together inside again. And our children will be heading inside, in their friends' houses.   People store guns inside.   Are you certain that nobody owns a gun in any of the places your child plays?   If they do own a gun, are you certain they store it safely?   If not, you need to ask.   That's one issue we discuss in this interview with Dr. Nina Agrawal, a board-certified pediatrician who has expertise in violence against children. She co-founded the Gun Safety Committee for the American Academy of Pediatrics in New York State, and is leading the Gun Violence Prevention Task Force for the American Medical Women's Association.   Another issue is the gun violence that is primarily faced by children of color, which turns out to affect a far greater number of children.   And how is this all linked to the Peloton recall? You'll have to listen in to find out...   Jump to highlights here: (01:00) Indoor playdates are ramping up...will your child be safe? (02:29) Introducing Dr. Nina Agrawal, pediatrician and co-founder of the American Academy of Pediatrics' Gun Safety Committee in New York State (02:58) Understanding how big is the scope of gun violence against children (06:15) The Dickey Amendment: Explaining the massive lack of data and research on gun violence and safety (11:24) The ways that gun violence affects children that we might not expect (12:32) “I get woken up at night to the sound of gunshots.” (17:09) The racial disparity in how children are affected by gun violence (20:46) More people purchased guns in 2020, and there are more first-time owners too (23:39) The statistical likelihood of children coming to harm if they live with a firearm in their household (27:00) Just telling kids not to touch guns doesn't work (even if you think of your child as one who is 'sensible,' and you've talked with them about gun safety) (30:45) The Asking Saves Kids Campaign helps to keep kids safer (33:06) The surprising link between children involved in gun violence and the Peloton treadmill recall (36:07) In American culture, banning all guns can't be the answer (40:52) Effective Child Access Laws (41:45) How to create safer environments for children through building communities [accordion] [accordion-item title="Click here to read the full transcript"] Jen Lumanlan 00:02 Hi, I'm Jen and I host the Your Parenting Mojo Podcast.   Jen Lumanlan 00:06 We all want her children to lead fulfilling lives, but it can be so hard to keep up with the latest scientific research on child development and figure out whether and how to incorporate it into our own approach to parenting. Here at Your Parenting Mojo, I do the work for you by critically examining strategies and tools related to parenting and child development that are grounded in scientific research on principles of respectful parenting. If you'd like to be notified when new episodes are released, and get a free guide called 13 Reasons Why Your Child Won't Listen To You & What To Do About Each One, just head over to YourParentingMojo.com/SUBSCRIBE. You can also continue the conversation about the show with other listeners in the Your Parenting Mojo Facebook group. I do hope you'll join us.   Jen Lumanlan 01:00 Hello, and welcome to the Your Parenting Mojo Podcast. And today we're going to discuss a topic that I think is about to come into parents' consciousness in a way that it really hasn't as much over the last year. And for some of us, that's a result of our privilege. And I was reflecting that as vaccinations for children become more available, we're probably going to start moving towards indoor play dates without parents being around because when my daughter went into when we went into sort of lockdown, she was young enough that she wasn't...

Pregnancy Podcast
Get Parenting Right from the Start

Pregnancy Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 13, 2021 60:52


You put a lot of time and energy into learning about pregnancy and preparing for birth. Once you cross that finish line and are holding your baby, a whole new adventure begins. Although being a parent is a lifelong journey, you can get started on the right track now. Learn about evidence-based parenting on some of the most important things for the first year. This episode covers topics like attachment, sleep, and play. Plus, some research-based tactics to make sure you are nurturing yourself as a parent and meeting your own needs as you build a relationship with your baby. Thank you to Jen Lumanlan for sharing her expertise for this episode. Jen Lumanlan is the host of the Your Parenting Mojo podcast. She interviews all the best experts in parenting and child development. Jen is so much more than a podcast host. She focuses on a rigorous research-based approach and has multiple master's degrees, including psychology and education. Jen is a pro at digging through research and applying principles of respectful parenting to help parents and kids thrive. You can learn more about Jen by visiting the Your Parenting Mojo website. Jen Lumanlan is my #1 resource for all things parenting. She teamed up with Hannah and Kelty from Upbringing to create the Right from the Start course. This course walks you through everything you need to navigate the first year of your baby's life. It covers challenges with sleep, attachment, feeding, siblings, your own sense of self as a person - and so much more! You can click here to grab the free roadmap that walks you through the entire framework of this course. If you decide you need more support, take advantage of 15% off the Right from the Start course with the code PREGNANCYPODCAST. (The first open enrollment is from 6/19 to 6/30/21. It is only offered four times per year.)   You can see the full transcript and resources that accompany this episode by clicking here.   For more evidence-based information, visit the Pregnancy Podcast website.

Your Parenting Mojo - Respectful, research-based parenting ideas to help kids thrive
138: Most of what you know about attachment is probably wrong

Your Parenting Mojo - Respectful, research-based parenting ideas to help kids thrive

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 6, 2021 65:58 Transcription Available


New parents often worry about attachment to their baby - will I be able to build it? My baby cries a lot - does that mean that we aren't attached? If I put my baby in daycare, will they get attached to the daycare staff rather than to me? Based on the ideas about attachment that have been circulated over the years, these are entirely valid concerns. But it turns out that not only should we not worry about these things, but the the research that these ideas were based in was highly flawed. It's often forgotten that attachment theory was developed in the period after World War II, when policymakers were trying to get women out of the jobs they had held during the war, and back into their 'natural' place in the home. In one of his earliest papers Dr. John Bowlby - the so-called Father of Attachment Theory - described 44 children who had been referred to his clinic for stealing, and compared these with children who had not stolen anything. He reported that the thieves had been separated from their parents during childhood, which led them to have a low sense of self-worth and capacity for empathy. He went on to say that “to deprive a small child of his mother's companionship is as bad as depriving him of vitamins.” But much later in his life, Bowlby revealed that he had conflated a whole lot of kinds of separation into that one category – everything between sleeping in a different room to being abandoned in an orphanage. And in addition to being separated, many of the thieves had also experienced physical or sexual abuse. The fear that spending time apart from your baby will damage them in some way is just not supported by the evidence. What other common beliefs do we hold about attachment relationships that aren't supported by evidence? Well, quite a lot, as it turns out! Listen in for more.     Jump to highlights: (03:30) Download the free Right From The Start Roadmap (06:11) Dr. John Bowlby, who is known as the founder of attachment theory (06:40) A brief overview of attachment theory (08:06) What is attachment theory (09:44) A closer look at the word attachment (12:55) Five aspects out of Freud's psychoanalytic theory (14:32) 44 Juvenile Thieves - One of the major ideas about separation from parents (17:50) What is the word monotrophy (18:49) The four dimensions that distinguish African-American views of motherhood from American views by Dr. Patricia Hill Collins (20:49) Aka Pygmy tribe in Africa (21:37) What is PIC or Parental Investment in the child Questionnaire by Dr. Robert Bradley (24:19) The Strange Situation Procedure developed by Dr. Mary Ainsworth (30:30) White middle class mothers in Baltimore stand for what attachment should look like in families of all types around the world (33:36) Two main cross cultural studies (40:13) The cognitive thinking component of the attachment relationship (47:29) What is Outcomes (01:01:25) Summary   [accordion] [accordion-item title="Click here to read the full transcript"] Jen Lumanlan 00:03 Hi, I'm Jen and I host the Your Parenting Mojo podcast. We all want our children to lead fulfilling lives. But it can be so hard to keep up with the latest scientific research on child development and figure out whether and how to incorporate it into our own approach to parenting. Here at Your Parenting Mojo, I do the work for you by critically examining strategies and tools related to parenting and child development that are grounded in scientific research on principles of respectful parenting. If you'd like to be notified when new episodes are released, and get a FREE Guide called 13 Reasons Why Your Child Won't listen To You and What To Do About Each One, just head on over to your YourParentingMojo.com/SUBSCRIBE. You can also continue the conversation about the show with other listeners in the Your Parenting Mojo Facebook group. I do hope you'll join us.   Jen Lumanlan 00:55 Hello, and welcome to the your parenting Mojo...

Hitting the Bottle
Mango Bango - HTB x Upbringing

Hitting the Bottle

Play Episode Listen Later May 28, 2021 79:14


Alysia + Sarah chat with Hannah & Kelty of Upbringing about their new course they created with Jen Lumanlan of Your Parenting Mojo. Upbringing free downloadable roadmap with highlights from their new Right from the Start course:  https://yourparentingmojo.com/rightfromthestart (https://yourparentingmojo.com/rightfromthestart) Upbringing Spirited Kids Club: https://www.upbringing.co/spiritedkidsclub (https://www.upbringing.co/spiritedkidsclub) Check out our new merch at https://hitting-the-bottle.myshopify.com/ (https://hitting-the-bottle.myshopify.com/) Please submit all inquiries and Spill the Whine submissions to hello@hittingthebottlepod.com Follow us to continue the conversation on Instagram @hittingthebottle! Head over to https://www.patreon.com/hittingthebottle and sign up for extra content for only $5 / month! Theme song by Meaghan Casey. http://www.meaghancasey.com/ (www.meaghancasey.com) If you find yourself struggling, whether it be through pregnancy, feelings of guilt or shame surrounding birth, difficulties breastfeeding, parenting during the pandemic, etc. - Please know you are not alone. Reach out to someone you trust with these feelings - or reach out to us directly. You are doing the hard work and we see you. The contents of our show have many references to alcohol and drinking. We want to acknowledge our friends in recovery and let them know we love and support them. If you, or someone you know, is experiencing substance abuse disorder please call 1-800-662-HELP or visit https://www.samhsa.gov/ (https://www.samhsa.gov/) Support this podcast

Your Parenting Mojo - Respectful, research-based parenting ideas to help kids thrive
137: Psychological Flexibility through ACT with Dr. Diana Hill

Your Parenting Mojo - Respectful, research-based parenting ideas to help kids thrive

Play Episode Listen Later May 23, 2021 57:25


"Psychological Flexibility" sounds amazing. Shouldn't we all want that? After all, psychological flexibility has been significantly positively associated with wellness during the COVID-19 pandemic, and negatively associated with anxiety, depression, and COVID-29-related distress and worry.   (But what is it, anyway?!)   Psychological Flexibility is about being fully in touch with the present moment and, based on the situation, either continuing or changing your behavior to live in better alignment with your values.   Let's break that down a bit:   Being fully in touch with the present moment: We spend a good chunk of our lives not fully present. And there are times when it makes sense - we don't necessarily need to be fully present for every moment of a long drive. As long as we're present enough to drive safely, we don't need to observe the exact quality of red in the tail light of the driver in front of you.   But when we spend most of our lives zoned out on our phones, or rushing from one activity to the next (probably partly so we don't have to sit down and just be), we aren't truly present.   Better alignment with your values: We all have values, although perhaps some of us haven't fully articulated them. We might value raising an independent child, but then step in every time they struggle. We might value emotional closeness but struggle to actually do it because our parents didn't model it for us. When we articulate our values, we define what we're working toward.   Based on the situation, either continuing or changing your behavior: One of my favorite parts of ACT is the Choice Point: the point at which something doesn't feel right to you. At this point you get to decide: Am I going to keep doing the same thing I've always done? Or am I going to do something that brings me into better alignment with my values?   Want to know more? Dr. Diana Hill, co-author with Dr. Debbie Sorensen, joins me on this episode to discuss their new book https://amzn.to/3v5H3iR (ACT Daily Journal: Get Unstuck and Live Fully with Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) (this is an affiliate link, so I will earn a small commission through your purchase which does not affect the price you pay). The book walks readers through a series of exercises to help them become more psychologically flexible, through the practice of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). The concepts in ACT are ones that I've found to be enormously useful both personally and in working with clients, so I'm excited to tell you about them here!     Jump to highlights: (01: 26) What is ACT or acceptance and Commitment Therapy (02:07) What is this thing psychological flexibility? (03:48) What are the components of psychological flexibility? (08:07) Cognitive diffusion (11:38) The idea that we could believe that our thoughts are not true is mind boggling to a lot of people (16:36) Values and parenting in particular is such a good one to discuss (18:20) Values are something that are deep within you, that you can pull upon, when you've got nothing left (19:10:) The idea of the choice point (23:36) Perspective taking is probably one of the most important skills we can do for ourselves (27:01) How do we live out committed action (33:55) Our children are naturally beginner's mind (35:18:) One of the things that actually sets humans apart from robots, is our ability to think outside the box (39:58) We can start to teach our children, that it's not about the answer. That there's many ways to solve problems (41:51) The IKEA effect (45:33) Another thing that's really important with embodiment is modeling   [accordion] [accordion-item title="Click here to read the full transcript"] Jen Lumanlan 00:03 Hi, I'm Jen and I host the Your Parenting Mojo podcast. We all want our children to lead fulfilling lives. But it can be so hard...

Your Parenting Mojo - Respectful, research-based parenting ideas to help kids thrive

We've been in a liminal space for the last 15 months or so, since COVID shutdowns. (The word 'liminal' comes from the Latin root limen, meaning threshold).  It’s a place where a certain part of our lives has come to an end but the next thing hasn’t yet begun, so we’re in a transitional state.   We're finally starting to see the end of this liminal state but before we can fully emerge into the new world, we need to ask ourselves: what do we want that world to be like?   Do we want to go back to what it was before?   Because the world we had before wasn't working for a lot of parents. We were constantly rushing our children around from one activity to the next, maybe also trying to balance a career at the same time, attending thirty kids' birthday parties a year and just feeling completely spent, most of the time.   If we don't take the time to think about what we want life to be like when we reopen, chances are it'll look pretty much like it used to. And that can seem safe! It's always safer and easier to go back to what we know, rather than forward to what is unknown and scary.   What would something different even look like?   Maybe we would have fewer friends, whom we know much better.   Maybe we would do fewer activities, and spend a bit more time being, rather than always doing.   Maybe we would actually support families financially instead of having a 'families are the bedrock of our society...but you're on your own to provide for it' approach.   In this Mother's Day Momifesto, I explore all of these issues, and encourage you to think about how YOU want to be in this new world.   And if you need help figuring it out, the Parenting Membership is here to help. Doors are open now through midnight Pacific on Wednesday May 12th. We'll support you through the challenges of today (how to prevent tantrums! raising healthy eaters! navigating screen time!) while keeping an eye on where we want to go. Because you need both.   https://yourparentingmojo.com/parentingmembership/ ()   Jump to highlights: (01:27) The Mother's Day Momifesto (02:04) COVID shutdown (04:28) School reopenings (07:04) 18% of women in the US have taken antidepressants (09:29) We try to control our bodies in a variety of ways (12:27) Success is defined for men (19:38) Women working communities (20:25) Plenty of parents and children's needs are not met by the school system (22:47) Intersectionality - the idea that different parts of our identities intersect (25:10) Public transit systems are geared around men (26:17) Contribution of scientific research on COVID 19- women scientists have published 19% fewer papers as lead author (29:26) Standard Body Mass Index calculations are based on the weight of white people (31:41) Nonviolent Communication (34:06) How we can begin to make a difference (44:55) Learning how to meet our own needs is a great place to start (46:44) Reopening of your Parenting Membership will close on the midnight of May 12     [accordion] [accordion-item title="Click here to read the full transcript"] Jen Lumanlan 00:03 Hi, I’m Jen and I host the Your Parenting Mojo podcast. We all want our children to lead fulfilling lives. But it can be so hard to keep up with the latest scientific research on child development and figure out whether and how to incorporate it into our own approach to parenting. Here at Your Parenting Mojo, I do the work for you by critically examining strategies and tools related to parenting and child development that are grounded in scientific research on principles of respectful parenting. If you’d like to be notified when new episodes are released, and get a FREE Guide called 13 Reasons Why Your Child Won’t listen To You and What To Do About Each One, just head on over to your YourParentingMojo.com/SUBSCRIBE. ou can also continue the conversation...

Sandwich Parenting
Jen Lumanlan: Your Parenting Mojo

Sandwich Parenting

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 2, 2021 33:47


Jen Lumanlan is the founder of Your Parenting Mojo, where she examines scientific research related to child development through the lens of respectful parenting. She is a prolific researcher, writer and podcaster. In our conversation, Jen touches on numerous topics that I think you will find profound and insightful. #sandwichparenting #consciousparenting #respectfulparenting #gentleparenting #peacefulparenting #yourparentingmojo #jenlumanlan #parentcoach --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/sandwich-parenting/message

Raising Adults: Future Focused Parenting
How Research Can Help You Be Future Focused with Jen Lumanlan of the Your Parenting Mojo Podcast

Raising Adults: Future Focused Parenting

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 7, 2020 28:13


Kira and Deana chat with Jen Lumanlan of the Your Parenting Mojo Podcast. Jen specializes in using research to inform parenting and helping parents understand where the research can help you, and when it is important to look beyond it. More on Jen: https://yourparentingmojo.com @yourparentinmojo

Curious Neuron: Learning and the Brain
Interest-led learning and homeschooling with Jen Lumanlan.

Curious Neuron: Learning and the Brain

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 3, 2020 53:59


In today's episode, I chat with Jen about homeschooling. Many of us have been homeschooling our children because of Covid. We might have the idea that homeschooling means sitting at a desk for hours and hours on end. We might feel that a child doesn't socialize enough if they are homeschooling. Jen and I chat about some of these misconceptions around homeschooling and we dive into interest-led learning. 

Upbringing
GUEST SERIES // H+K on Your Parenting Mojo Podcast // Align values as a parent + person

Upbringing

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 27, 2020 46:46


Before launching this next season, we wanted to highlight a handful of favorite podcasts we’ve been guests on recently. We speak with some amazing folks about Upbringing, our mission and approach in practicing powers beyond control when it comes to daily discipline with our kids! This week, we’re sharing our interview with Jen Lumanlan on the Your Parenting Mojo Podcast. We discuss how we grew to identify as feminists through our parenthood and the experiences we had that helped us reckon with the power + privilege we held over our toddlers. We also unpack and walk through some specific ways we can take back our parenting practices from our cultural conditioning-- from exhaustive tooth brushing resistance to fears of uncomfortable conversations-- challenging moments that give us the opportunity to align our values as people with our practices as parents. Fun stuff! It was a dream come true to chat with Jen about our unconscious hypocrisy as progressive parents, and how finding alignment can prevent us from undermining the very skills and values we hope to promote in our kids! Your Parenting Mojo is a top-rated podcast and parenting community led by Jen Lumanlan, (M.S., M.Ed.). Jen was the first parenting resource we found as new mothers that examined the scientific research related to child development through the lens of respectful parenting. We hope you enjoy our conversation on Your Parenting Mojo as much as we did! Head on over to YourParentingMojo.com to learn more about Jen and her amazing podcast, membership community and more. Here we go… Your Parenting Mojo Website: www.yourparentingmojo.com Your Parenting Mojo Instagram: www.instagram.com/yourparentingmojo Your Parenting Mojo Facebook: www.facebook.com/YourParentingMojo

Education On Fire - Sharing creative and inspiring learning in our schools

I discuss pandemic pods and how they can support you during this current Coronavirus outbreak. Pandemic pods can take a number of forms, including: Parents swapping care for each other’s children, most likely rotating the children between houses, with less of a specific focus on learning (perhaps for younger children) Hiring an online tutor to coach a group of students primarily online Hiring a caregiver to work with the children in-person to make sure they stay on track with school-provided curriculum Either swapping care or hire a caregiver to focus on aspects of learning that aren’t traditionally covered in school (e.g. interest-led learning, explicitly anti-racist, anti-patriarchal learning, etc.) Jen Lumanlan, a previous guest from episode 68 (https://www.educationonfire.com/education-on-fire/068-support-childrens-learning-parenting-mojo/) has put together resources to help you navigate this new world of learning. Jen Lumanlan holds an M.S. in Psychology (Child Development) and an M.Ed., and hosts the Your Parenting Mojo podcast which is a reference guide for parents of toddlers and preschoolers based on scientific researchers and the principles of respectful parenting. In each episode she examines a topic related to parenting and child development from all sides to help parents understand how to make decisions about raising their children. She lives in California with her husband and daughter. yourparentingmojo.com (https://yourparentingmojo.com/) Social Media Information @YourParentingMojo (IG, FB) If you want to support our GoFundMe campaign to create a valuable resource for our children based on the wisdom of our inspiring guests please click below? https://uk.gofundme.com/f/education-on-fire-book-fundraiser (https://uk.gofundme.com/f/education-on-fire-book-fundraiser) Show Sponsor The National Association for Primary Education speaks for young children and all who live and work with them. This includes parents, teachers, governors and all those interested in primary education. Get their FREE professional journal at nape.org.uk/journal (https://nape.org.uk/journal) Support this podcast

Blended Family Podcast
Interest Based Learning and Homeschooling Options with expert Jen Lumanlan

Blended Family Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 21, 2020 61:08


melissa@blendedfamilypodcast.com www.blendedfamilypodcast.com Jen Lumanlan holds an M.S. in Psychology (Child Development) and an M.Ed., and is the host of  Your Parenting Mojo podcast which is a reference guide for parents of toddlers and preschoolers based on scientific researchers and the principles of respectful parenting.  In each issue she examines a topic related to parenting and child development from all sides to help parents understand how to make decisions about raising their children.  She lives in California with her husband and daughter.    Her personal story  COVID and how it’s affected schooling How to decide between in person education as opposed to homeschooling How we can plan for the future  Courses on education and homeschooling The Parenting Mojo Podcast Future projects Advice for listeners And much more!   Connect with Jen Website Facebook Twitter Instagram Pinterest   Finding your Parenting Mojo Membership Child’s Learning Mojo Membership Homeschooling Mojo Course Confident Homeschooler Short Course Pandemic Pods in a box Course Your Child's Learning Mojo Membership Schemas Blog post (mentioned in interview) Hold on to Your Kids (Book mentioned in interview)   Connect with me Join the Private Facebook Group Connect with me on Facebook Connect with me on Twitter Connect with me on Instagram   Send questions or feedback to melissa@blendedfamilypodcast.com Send me a voicemail at Speakpipe Visit the website at www.blendedfamilypodcast.com Sign up for my monthly newsletter Listen and Rate/Review on Itunes   Schedule an interview, coaching session, or financial review here Take my money quiz here to see how financially literate you are!   Check out the BEST co parenting app, Fayr To receive a special discount, use promo code Blended!   Check out the Nacho Kids Program! To receive a special discount, use promo code BFP                     

Psychologists Off The Clock: A Psychology Podcast About The Science And Practice Of Living Well
Schooling at Home, Pandemic Pods, And Socially Just Parenting

Psychologists Off The Clock: A Psychology Podcast About The Science And Practice Of Living Well

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 31, 2020 57:13


Parenting is stressful right now. This is because we are educating our kids at home while juggling work with limited childcare. We are also navigating difficult, important conversations about racism, the pandemic, and world events. How can we regain our sanity and parent in a way that is meaningful? Join us for a conversation with Jen Lumanlan, a child development expert and podcast host from Your Parenting Mojo. During this episode, we explore homeschooling, pandemic pods, and socially just parenting. Listen and Learn: How Diana and Debbie are navigating school at homeHomeschooling strategies that foster deep learning and keep kids engagedHow to form a pandemic pod in a socially just wayWhat is “patriarchy” in parenting and how it harms our childrenWhite privilege in parentingActions parents can take against racism  Jen Lumanlan About Jen Lumanlan Jen Lumanlan holds an M.S. in Psychology (Child Development) and an M.Ed. She hosts the Your Parenting Mojo podcast which is a reference guide for parents of toddlers and preschoolers based on scientific researchers and the principles of respectful parenting.  In each episode, she examines a topic related to parenting and child development from all sides to help parents understand how to make decisions about raising their children. She lives in California with her husband and daughter. Resources Your Parenting Mojo Podcast Resources: Trying to make a decision about homeschooling versus school-based programs?Looking for resources related to parenting and race?Want to start a Pandemic Pod? Try the Pandemic Pods 'in a box' courseWant to get started with Homeschooling? Check out The Confident Homeschooler  Other Resources Mentioned: Nice White Parents PodcastYuval Noah Harari on what the year 2050 has in store for humankind Carol Gilligan on Patriarchy in Parenting with Jen LumanlanHow to Get Away with Parenting podcastUrban Intellectual Black History Flashcards 141. Educating Our Kids at Home with Julie Bogart69. Emotional Intelligence and the Science of Meditation with Dr. Daniel Goleman159. Challenging Times During Adolescence with Dr. Louise Hayes78. The Self-Driven Child with Dr. William Stixrud142. FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) With Patrick McGinnis9. Children's Emotions: Understanding and Responding to Your Child's Feelings14. Mindful Parenting

Mindful Mama - Parenting with Mindfulness
Parenting From the Research - Jen Lumanlan [237]

Mindful Mama - Parenting with Mindfulness

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 18, 2020 69:54


Have you ever wondered if you are parenting the “right” way? Our podcast guest Jen Lumanlan did and decided that she would go to the research to figure out how to parent her child. She discovered what was worth paying attention to and what wasn’t, and it allowed her to let go of some core tenets of parenting. Takeaways:  When we understand why our children resist things, then we can discover solutions. The right way to get your child to eat their vegetables. What we think of as “bad behavior” are our children’s unskillful attempts to meet their own needs. Join the Mindful Parenting Free Training here. Losing your cool? Kids not listening? Help has arrived. Join hundreds of other parents in this FREE, LIVE event to become a more mindful parent.  Get Hunter's book, Raising Good Humans now! Click here to order and get book bonuses! Jen Lumanlan M.S., M.Ed., hosts the Your Parenting Mojo podcast, which distills scientific research on parenting and child development into tools that parents can use to make decisions about raising their children. Fan of the Mindful Mama Podcast? Support it by leaving a quick review -----> Apple Podcasts or on Stitcher (or wherever you listen!) ABOUT HUNTER CLARKE-FIELDS: Hunter Clarke-Fields is a mindful mama mentor. She coaches smart, thoughtful parents on how to create calm and cooperation in their daily lives. Hunter has over 20 years of experience in mindfulness practices. She has taught thousands worldwide. Be a part of the tribe! Join the Mindful Parenting membership. Download the audio training, Mindfulness For Moms (The Superpower You Need) for free! It's at mindfulmomguide.com. Find more podcasts, blog posts, free resources, and how to work with Hunter at MindfulMamaMentor.com.  

Find The Magic
Homeschooling and Trusting Your Ability to Teach with Jen Lumanlan

Find The Magic

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 3, 2020 48:44


So many of us are facing a big decision this Fall, will we be teaching our kids at home? Or maybe we have no choice at all. So many of us are being thrown into the role as teacher and parent. This week Felica is interviewing Jen Lumanlan of Your Parenting Mojo. Jen Lumanlan holds an M.S. in Psychology (Child Development) and an M.Ed., and hosts the Your Parenting Mojo podcast which is a reference guide for parents of toddlers and preschoolers based on scientific researchers and the principles of respectful parenting. In each episode she examines a topic related to parenting and child development from all sides to help parents understand how to make decisions about raising their children. She lives in California with her husband and daughter. Jen brings us wisdom backed with immense research (her specialty!) on why we should trust our ability to teach, our child’s ability to learn (and lead their own education through their own interests!) and the process of homeschooling. We touch on why we can let go of the perfect curriculum, standardized tests, and we discuss the value of play in education, socialization and explore the concept of pandemic pods. We hope that this wide ranging conversation helps any of you choosing (or maybe without the choice) about your child’s education this Fall feel more confident. If you would like to learn more about Jen you can find her on her website https://yourparentingmojo.com/ If you would like to learn more about Jen you can find her here. You can listen to her podcast here. Here is her blog post on socialization in schools and her blog post on schemas is here, and she has some wonderful information on the Pandemic Pods 'in a box' course here. You can find is Jen’s course to help you decide if you’re ready to homeschool here. Our Website (You can find all show notes here, along with book recommendations and links to all past books): https://www.findthemagic.co Our Website (You can find all show notes here, along with book recommendations and links to all past books): Find us on Instagram @findthemagicpodcast p.s. Our secret to reading so many books is this little baby, a magical wireless earbud:) --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/findthemagic/support

The Family Brain with Megan Gipson, LCSW, Ed.M
Episode 88: Parenting Mojo in 2020 with Jen Lumanlan

The Family Brain with Megan Gipson, LCSW, Ed.M

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 28, 2020 47:51


My guest this week digs into parenting research so that we don't have to! She hosts her own podcast Your Parenting Mojo and like many of us, me included, had her child and found that she did not feel prepared. We talk about education and these crazy times of crisis schooling during Covid-19. We also discuss talking with kids about race and how to have continual dialogue about race and inequality. Learn more about Your Parenting Mojo at www.yourparentingmojo.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

FamilyPreneur: Parent Entrepreneurs Raising KidPreneurs
Addressing Racial Bias In Our Children And Entrepreneurship with Jen Lumanlan

FamilyPreneur: Parent Entrepreneurs Raising KidPreneurs

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 22, 2020 39:19


Today's guest is a parent of a preschooler with a Master's in Psychology focused on Child Development and another in Education, and she hosts a podcast called Your Parenting Mojo. It's a reference guide for parents of toddlers and preschoolers based on scientific research and the principles of respectful parenting. In This Episode You'll Learn How ideas about race develop in young children. What are you doing on your journey to reduce the impacts of systemic racism? What ways issues of privilege play out in the entrepreneurial world. What parents can do to take the next step on their own anti-racist journey. Be sure to subscribe to this podcast so you don't miss another amazing episode! Learn more about the FamilyPreneur Business Accelerator and join today at »familypreneur.co« I'm committed to building an inclusive and anti-racist business. I support LGBTQIA+ rights and the rights of all intersectional identities. I believe that business should be a force for dismantling systems of oppression and actively invest in my own learning to fulfill this role. »Read My Full DEI Statement HERE« Would you like to deliver your own private podcast feed to your audience? Sign up for a free trial today at Hello Audio.

FamilyPreneur: Parent Entrepreneurs Raising KidPreneurs
Addressing Racial Bias In Our Children And Entrepreneurship with Jen Lumanlan

FamilyPreneur: Parent Entrepreneurs Raising KidPreneurs

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 22, 2020 39:20


Today's guest is a parent of a preschooler with a Master's in Psychology focused on Child Development and another in Education, and she hosts a podcast called Your Parenting Mojo. It's a reference guide for parents of toddlers and preschoolers based on scientific research and the principles of respectful parenting. In This Episode You'll Learn How ideas about race develop in young children. What are you doing on your journey to reduce the impacts of systemic racism? What ways issues of privilege play out in the entrepreneurial world. What parents can do to take the next step on their own anti-racist journey.   Be sure to subscribe to this podcast so you don't miss another amazing episode!

Parenting Our Future
Racism, White Privilege, and How We Can Talk to Our Kids | POF51

Parenting Our Future

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 30, 2020 42:58


Are our children born with bias or is this something we teach them?   We can look at the way a baby's brain develops to clue us in.  At 3 months, we can see that babies prefer to look at faces of their own race, by 9 months they are able to recognize faces from their own race better than from another race and this is when the brain starts to organize people into "groups" as a way of organizing them and processing information.  That leads us to the concept of in-groups (people like me) who I think are 'better' and out-groups (people not like me) that are not as 'good'.  What's the point? It's never too early to talk about racism or different races.  If you are like me, a well-meaning white woman, who wants to bring her kids up without prejudice, you might not have spoken about it because you thought by not talking about the different colour of other people's skin, will somehow mean that your kids won’t see colour and will therefore love and accept everyone the same…. BUT, what my guest, Jen Lumanlan, taught me is that choosing not to talk about it, is a privilege I have because I'm white.  What I now know is that people of every other race and minority HAS NO CHOICE but to have this conversation with their children because they are the victims of prejudice, racism, and intolerance on a daily basis and they have to prepare their children for the inevitable discrimination they’ll face sooner or later. This conversation was a huge eye opening moment for me.  I was someone who didn't even want to say "white" or "black".  In this episode, my intention is to have a vulnerable conversation about my own (and commonplace) ignorance about racism and learn what we can all do better to be more tolerant, educated to end systemic racism.  About Jen Lumanlan Jen Lumanlan holds an M.S. in Psychology (Child Development) and an M.Ed., and hosts the Your Parenting Mojo podcast which is a reference guide for parents of toddlers and preschoolers based on scientific researchers and the principles of respectful parenting.  In each issue she examines a topic related to parenting and child development from all sides to help parents understand how to make decisions about raising their children.  She lives in California with her husband and daughter. Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/YourParentingMojo/ IG: https://www.instagram.com/yourparentingmojo/ website yourparentingmojo.com Podcast: yourparentingmojo.com From the Episode: 57 privileges of white parents blog post, along with lots of other facts about maternal health outcomes etc.: https://yourparentingmojo.com/57-privileges-of-white-parents/ Tre Johnson's article about white people joining book clubs https://www.washingtonpost.com/outlook/white-antiracist-allyship-book-clubs/2020/06/11/9edcc766-abf5-11ea-94d2-d7bc43b26bf9_story.html?fbclid=IwAR1j_POu-A2eZ1xrB1yEi68bcrnZ2L44i8zdaLWcaVDfGCjN7TDp7ByRXrg Teaching Tool:  graphic that summarizes children's awareness of issues related to race at different ages: https://www.sfbayplaytherapy.com/teaching-kids-about-racism.html Jen Lumanlan’s  FREE downloadable resources related to race are collected here: https://yourparentingmojo.com/race/   On this page you will find, The First 10 Steps to Raise an Anti-Racist Child, and How To Talk With Your Child About Slavery and the Civil Rights Movement, as well as the list of social media accounts of people of non-dominant cultures to follow. Episodes/blog posts that you might find specifically helpful include:   White parents: How to talk with your preschooler about Black Lives Matter: https://yourparentingmojo.com/white-parents-how-to-talk-with-your-preschooler-about-black-lives-matter/ White privilege in parenting: What it is, and what to do about it: https://yourparentingmojo.com/captivate-podcast/whiteprivilege/ White privilege in schools: https://yourparentingmojo.com/captivate-podcast/schoolprivilege/   Jane Elliott's experiment as referenced in the episode(with Chinese subtitles!): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oGvoXeXCoUY   Dr. Beverly Daniel Tatum's book Why Are All The Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria? : https://www.amazon.com/Black-Kids-Sitting-Together-Cafeteria/dp/0465083617 and my interview with her: https://yourparentingmojo.com/captivate-podcast/talkingaboutrace/   Thanks for listening! It means so much to me that you listened to my podcast! If you would like to purchase my book or other parenting resources, visit me at www.yellingcurebook.com   With this podcast, my intention is to build a community of parents that can have open and honest conversations about parenting without judgement or criticism.  We have too much of that!  I honor each parent and their path towards becoming the best parent they can be.  My hope is to inspire more parents to consider the practice of Peaceful Parenting. If you know somebody who would benefit from this message, or would be an awesome addition to our community, please share it using the social media buttons on this page.   Do you have some feedback or questions about this episode? Leave a note in the comment section below!   Subscribe to the podcast If you would like to get automatic updates of new podcast episodes, you can subscribe on the podcast app on your mobile device.   Leave a review I appreciate every bit of feedback to make this a value adding part of your day. Ratings and reviews from listeners not only help me improve, but also help others find me in their podcast app. If you have a minute, an honest review on iTunes goes a long way! Thank You!!

One Bad Mother
Ep. 334: It's Cute…Till It Isn't. Plus, Parenting Research with Jen Lumanlan

One Bad Mother

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 19, 2019 77:37


Biz and Theresa ponder the age old concept: “It’s cute, till it isn’t.” Be it singing or asking questions or adorable bedtime routines, it’s all cute…till it isn’t.  Does it stop being cute with time? When we’re out of patience? When a friend stops by and we notice they don’t think it’s cute? Plus, Biz brought the fudge, Theresa makes some changes and we talk to Jen Lumanlan of the podcast Your Parenting Mojo. You can download Your Parenting Mojo wherever you listen to podcasts or at Yourparentingmojo.com. Follow Your Parenting Mojo on Facebook at Facebook.com/YourParentingMojo, on Instagram at Instagram.com/yourparentingmojo and on Twitter at Twitter.com/Parenting_Mojo. Check out Theresa’s new book! It Feels Good To Be Yourself is available now wherever books are sold. Our book You’re Doing A Great Job!: 100 Ways You’re Winning at Parenting! is available wherever books are sold. Thank you to all our listeners who support the show as monthly members of MaximumFun.org. Our sponsors this week are Casper and Storyworth. Get $100 toward select mattresses by visiting Casper.com/badmother and using badmother at checkout.  To get $20 off your first Storyworth purchase, sign up at Storyworth.com/badmother. Share your genius and fail moments! Call 206-350-9485 Be sure to tell us at the top of your message whether you’re leaving a genius moment, a fail, or a rant! Thanks!! Share a personal or commercial message on the show! Details at MaximumFun.org/Jumbotron. Subscribe to One Bad Mother in Apple Podcasts Join our mailing list Join the amazing community that is our private One Bad Mother Facebook group Follow One Bad Mother on Twitter Follow Biz on Twitter Follow Theresa on Twitter Like us on Facebook! Get a OBM tee, tank, baby onesie, magnet or bumper sticker from the MaxFunStore You can suggest a topic or a guest for an upcoming show by sending an email to onebadmother@maximumfun.org. Show Music Opening theme: Summon the Rawk, Kevin MacLeod (http://incompetech.com) Ones and Zeros, Awesome, Beehive Sessions (http://awesomeinquotes.com, also avail on iTunes) Mom Song, Adira Amram, Hot Jams For Teens (http://adiraamram.com, avail on iTunes) Telephone, Awesome, Beehive Sessions (http://awesomeinquotes.com, also avail on iTunes) Closing music: Mama Blues, Cornbread Ted and the Butterbeans

The Hardcore Self Help Podcast with Duff the Psych
Episode 177: Research-Informed Parenting with Jen Lumanlan from Your Parenting Mojo

The Hardcore Self Help Podcast with Duff the Psych

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 26, 2019 71:22


This episode features an interview with Jen Lumanlan from Your Parenting Mojo. In her own words, "I don’t have much in the way of parenting instinct but I make up for it with outstanding research skills." Interestingly, by way of analyzing the research on parenting and starting her own podcast, she has been able to develop a true intuition and ease for parenting. Jen has a blog and podcast called Your Parenting Mojo that looks to the research to answer questions like "How do you parent a highly sensitive child" or "How do you use non-violent communication with kids?" This episode is an interesting one because we actually dive deep into problem solving some issues I was having with my own kids at the time. I actually held off on releasing this for a while because I felt like I may have been a bit defensive or negative. Jen was awesome though. Funny enough, the issues that we talked about are largely non-issues now just a couple months later. Kids amirite? Some links: First off, go check out Jen at https://yourparentingmojo.com/ She also talked a bit at self-determination, which you can learn more about at http://selfdeterminationtheory.org/theory/ Finally, she referred to Parentifact, which you can see here: https://www.parentifact.org/   Next week should be another Q&A, so if you have questions for me, please send them to duffthepsych@gmail.com or head over the duffthepsych.com and see the contact page.

I Can't Mom Today
Potty Training Revisited

I Can't Mom Today

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 12, 2019 40:43


Potty training hasn't gone so well for Heather and Baker.  We reached out to an expert by the name of Jen Lumanlan with Your Parenting Mojo.  She is a mom, researcher and overall wonder mom.  Jen attacks any problem by researching, researching and more researching.  Hear her tips and tricks for how to work with potty training and your child.  She is a podcaster as well, so check out her podcast "Your Parenting Mojo".  Jen is offering an amazing workshop called "Tame Your Triggers."  There is no cost, you can simply opt in via the website link above. In the podcast, we discussed a travel potty called the Oxo Tot Travel Potty.

Virðing í uppeldi
3. Úti- og áhættuleikir, pop-up leikvellir

Virðing í uppeldi

Play Episode Listen Later May 8, 2019 68:47


Við ræðum í þættinum um útiveru með börnunum og áhættuleik barna. Áskoranir fyrir okkur foreldra felast í hvoru tveggja, að koma sér út fyrir hússins dyr sem og að leyfa börnum að spreyta sig í hárri hæð, miklum hraða o.s.frv. Ef við getum endurhugsað hvernig við sjáum náttúruna og sett hana inn í daglegt líf okkar, mun líf okkar batna. Rannsóknir sýna að börn verja færri stundum úti við en okkar kynslóð gerði, og áhersla vestrænna samfélaga á að draga úr áhættu á leikvöllum hefur jafnframt þau áhrif að skerða leikgleði barna.Þátttakendur: Elsa Borg Sveinsdóttir, Eva Rún Guðmundsdóttir, Guðrún Birna le Sage, Guðrún Björnsdóttir, Kristín Björg Viggósdóttir, Perla Hafdórsdóttir, Svava Margrét Sigurðardóttir og loks Guðrún Inga Torfadóttir sem stýrði umræðum.Í þættinum var m.a. vísað í eftirfarandi:Teacher Tom, teachertomsblog.blogspot.com.Jen Lumanlan, Your Parenting Mojo. Dr. Screen-Free Mom: "These Photos Explain why People in London Spend More Time at More Natural Playgrounds," af screenfreeparenting.comJon Young: http://jonyoung.org/Scott D. Sampson, How To Raise A Wild ChildEllen Beate Hansen SandseterPálína Ósk Hraundal

The Healthy Family Podcast
The Science of Parenting with Jen Lumanlan

The Healthy Family Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 27, 2018 58:28


When a couple is expecting their first child, they're inundated with information. But then that baby turns into a toddler that has tantrums and doesn't like the word “no.” And all of a sudden, the well of information dries up. So where do parents turn to for advice? And how do we know what to believe? After all, expert advice is constantly changing and everyone seems to have an opinion. Today's guest, Jen Lumanlan, had these same questions when she started a family. This led her to get a master's in psychology with a focus on child development and another master's in education. She shares what she's learned (and keeps learning) through Your Parenting Mojo Podcast. It's a reference guide for parents of toddlers and preschoolers based on scientific research and the principles of respectful parenting. In episode 24 of The Healthy Family Podcast, we tackle how to go about finding credible parenting information. Jen shares what she has learned on her science-based parenting journey.

The Wellness Mama Podcast
206: Your Parenting Mojo on Why We Need to Let Our Kids Take More Risks

The Wellness Mama Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 19, 2018 52:35


Today’s guest Jen Lumanlan is the host of the fascinating “Your Parenting Mojo” podcast, which is all about helping parents find (and fine-tune) their own unique way of raising their kids. I’ve wanted to meet Jen Lumanlan ever since I heard her story. Jen decided to turn her self-proclaimed lack of parenting intuition into an opportunity …

The Wellness Mama Podcast
206: Jen Lumanlan on Why We Should Let Kids Take More Risks

The Wellness Mama Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 19, 2018 52:35


Today’s guest Jen Lumanlan is the host of the fascinating “Your Parenting Mojo” podcast, which is all about helping parents find (and fine-tune) their own unique way of raising their kids. I’ve wanted to meet Jen Lumanlan ever since I heard her story. Jen decided to turn her self-proclaimed lack of parenting intuition into an opportunity …

The Wellness Mama Podcast
206: Your Parenting Mojo on Why We Need to Let Our Kids Take More Risks

The Wellness Mama Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 19, 2018 52:35


Today’s guest Jen Lumanlan is the host of the fascinating “Your Parenting Mojo” podcast, which is all about helping parents find (and fine-tune) their own unique way of raising their kids. I’ve wanted to meet Jen Lumanlan ever since I heard her story. Jen decided to turn her self-proclaimed lack of parenting intuition into an opportunity …

Exploring Unschooling
EU144: The Decision to Leave School Behind with Jen Lumanlan

Exploring Unschooling

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 4, 2018 54:19


As Jen Lumanlan puts it, “I don’t have much in the way of parenting instinct but I make up for it with outstanding research skills.” Her deep dive into parenting research led first to a Master’s in Psychology with a focus on Child Development, then to another Master’s in Education, and then ultimately to choosing unschooling as […]

Discover Your Talent–Do What You Love
684: Knowledge to Help Build Your Parenting Mojo

Discover Your Talent–Do What You Love

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 23, 2018 32:34


Jen Lumanlan never thought she’d be a parent, but she is one now—by choice, not by accident. When she realized she had no parenting intuition, but great research skills, she decided to get a Master’s in Child Development to figure out how to be the kind of parent she wanted to be. She realized others were hungry for this information and started Your Parenting Mojo podcast to share it with others. Earning a Master’s in Education, she is creating online courses to help parents support their child’s learning.

Authentic Parenting
Keeping Cool When Your Kids Push Your Buttons | Jen Lumanlan

Authentic Parenting

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 28, 2018 53:29


This is the June edition of the monthly special episode.  We have 3 segments: Examples from Our Homes (you don't want to miss!) What’s Up with You? Answering listener parenting questions (sibling rivalry, sleep issues, potty training so much more) Favorite Finds (new stuff about the marshmallowexperiment) Resources and links Your Parenting Mojo web site Your Parenting Mojo podcast  7 Tips on How To Build Self-Confidence In Your Kids  May’s Monthly Special Episode, How To Listen To Children’s Big Feelings If you are curious about the Marshmallow Experiment, here is one video. You can search on Youtube and view some others. They are quite funny.:) An episode with Dr. Stewart Shanker all about self-regulation. Why self-reg is more important than self-control.   SUPPORT THE AUTHENTIC PARENTING PODCAST ON PATREON!!! Has the show been of value to you? Do you find the show helpful? Have you gained from the show? Do you want the show to remain strong and bring more excellent content to you? Consider supporting your favorite podcast on Patreon. A small token of appreciation goes a long way.   Become a Patron of the Authentic Parenting by clicking here. Select your level and get awesome rewards!!!   FULL SHOW NOTES; pictures, links, resources, about my guest and anything mentioned in the show, visit my website: www.authenticparenting.com   YOUR FEEDBACK IS VALUABLE! Do you have a comment, question, or a takeaway about this episode or the podcast in general?   USA listeners call 732-763-2576 right now and leave a voicemail. International listeners use the FREE Speak Pipe tool on my website. Add your voice. It matters! Email: info@authenticparenting.com   ABOUT ME I help overwhelmed, frustrated parents who want to parent differently than their parents, make sense of their early childhood experiences, connect to their authentic self and their children on a deeper level, reduce stress, bring more ease, calm and joy into their lives by yelling less, and practicing non-punitive discipline.   WORK WITH ME I would be thrilled to support you in your parenting journey! Click here to get started with my Introductory (3 Sessions) Package or REAL Change Package - 6 Private Coaching Sessions-worldwide! :) Court-Ordered Parenting Classes (in person NJ, NY,and PA residents only)   WAYS TO SUBSCRIBE TO THE AUTHENTIC PARENTING PODCAST: Click here subscribe on Apple Podcasts Click here to subscribe on Stitcher Click here to subscribe on Spotify   RATE & WRITE REVIEW FOR THE SHOW Watch this quick video tutorial on YouTube to how rate and write a review for the podcast on Apple Podcasts.   SUBMIT YOUR PARENTING QUESTIONS TO BE ANSWERED IN THE SHOW: Voicemail: 732-763-2576 Speak Pipe for sending audio messages Email: info@authenticparenting.com   CONNECT WITH ME ON SOCIAL MEDIA Authentic Parenting on Facebook Instagram   NEED PARENTING SUPPORT? Join the Authentic Parenting FREE online community Schedule 30 min. FREE session by phone Get the HOW TO STOP YELLING class now   Thanks for listening!   With gratitude, Anna Seewald, ME.d, MPsy Parent Educator, Keynote Speaker, Author www.authenticparenting.com  

Education On Fire - Sharing creative and inspiring learning in our schools
068: How to support children’s learning with Your Parenting Mojo

Education On Fire - Sharing creative and inspiring learning in our schools

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 17, 2018 34:37


Jen Lumanlan is the creator and host of the podcast Your Parenting Mojo. When she became a new parent she started searching for information on the best ways to raise a child. This research led to a Master’s degree in Psychology followed by another in Education. Her passion for learning and a desire to share her findings with others led to the launch of Your Parenting Mojo and two courses. One focused on whether to homeschool your child and the other on how to support your child if you choose public school. (https://www.yourhomeschoolingmojo.com) (https://jenlumanlan.teachable.com/p/school) Do you want to improve your child’s social, emotional, and academic capabilities to enable school success and a life-long love of learning? Find out more at yourparentingmojo.com (https://yourparentingmojo.com) Myself and Peter Cansell were interviewed as part of Jen’s research and creation of ‘Want to support your child’s learning in school?’  We had a wonderful conversation about our experience as both parents and educators. This is available to those who enrol in the course. Here is some information from Jen’s website Are you worried about your child starting school? Or has he/she started school and things aren’t going as well as you’d like? This course is for you if: Your child can’t sit still for more than five minutes in a row and you worry that will make him seem disruptive; You’ve taught your child how to count but have no idea where to start teaching anything else related to math; You have a personal goal of developing a lifelong love of learning in your child; You’ve heard that participating in your child’s learning is a key factor in children’s academic success, but you aren’t sure which are the most effective ways of participating; You’d like to move beyond the pretty Pinterest boards and printable worksheets you see online to create extracurricular activities that extend your child’s interests, expand the ways in which they learn and express their learning, and are really fun! I give you the tools and guidance you need to smooth the transition to school and set your child up for success – all in a way that is driven by the child’s interests and provides reassurance – not stress! – for parents. I hope this helps all of those looking for research based insights from someone who really wants to help you. Links mentioned on the podcast 100 languages of children https://reggioemilia2015.weebly.com   Support this podcast

Preschool and Beyond
Successfully Starting School - Episode 41

Preschool and Beyond

Play Episode Listen Later May 19, 2018 41:28


Jen Lumanlan, host of the Your Parenting Mojo podcast, joins us to discuss ways parents can help prepare their child for school. Topics discussed include: * Common challenges transitioning to school * Developing self-regulation skills * Parent participation at school * Encouraging intrinsic motivation * Research on student learning Show Page: www.discoverychilddevelopmentcenter.com Facebook: facebook.com/preschoolandbeyond

Preschool and Beyond
Successfully Starting School - Episode 41

Preschool and Beyond

Play Episode Listen Later May 19, 2018 41:28


Jen Lumanlan, host of the Your Parenting Mojo podcast, joins us to discuss ways parents can help prepare their child for school. Topics discussed include: * Common challenges transitioning to school * Developing self-regulation skills * Parent participation at school * Encouraging intrinsic motivation * Research on student learning Show Page: www.discoverychilddevelopmentcenter.com Facebook: facebook.com/preschoolandbeyond

The Expectful Podcast
Respect, Love & Science-Based Parenting with Jen Lumanlan

The Expectful Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later May 10, 2018 50:09


What if you could use science to help you create a respectful and loving relationship with your children? After becoming a parent, today's guest Jen Lumanlan got her Master's in Psychology with a special focus on Child Development so that she could better understand how to parent her daughter. As a result, Jen dove deep ... The post Respect, Love & Science-Based Parenting with Jen Lumanlan appeared first on Expectful.

Parent Footprint with Dr. Dan
How To Raise A Girl With A Healthy Body Image - Ep.29

Parent Footprint with Dr. Dan

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 18, 2018 30:41


Dr. Dan welcomes fellow parent and podcaster Jen Lumanlan to the show today. Jen is the founder/host of the successful Your Parenting Mojo Podcast and website http://yourparentingmojo.com/. Jen’s mission is to raise healthy (and happy) girls and her personal journey will inspire listeners. Jen Lumanlan is the parent of a 3 ½-year-old daughter, and her podcast is a reference guide for parents of toddlers and preschoolers based on scientific research and the principles of respectful parenting. She never planned to be a parent but is on this journey (by choice rather than by accident) and when she realized she had no parenting instinct whatsoever she decided to get a Master’s in Psychology so she could figure out “how to do this parenting thing”! She’s now finishing up another Master’s in Education, and she plans to help parents think through how child development intersects with education. Dr. Dan invited Jen to be a guest today to discuss the critical topic of girls and body image. Their discussion is based on research and recent studies. Dr. Dan leads the discussion with these provocative talking points: Girls’ and body image What language is best to use with our girls? The words pretty and ugly (and fat and skinny) What is and how does the current research on how girls (and women) think about their bodies; and why it should change how parents deal with this topic Self--compassion Jen’s Parent Footprint Moment is about how she discovered that the concept of respect has been the most important key (along with love) to raising her own daughter successfully. Watch this free video to learn more about Dr. Dan and Parent Footprint Awareness Training®.

The Shameless Mom Academy
140: Jen Lumanlan: Your Parenting Mojo

The Shameless Mom Academy

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 28, 2017 59:46


Jen Lumanlan is the host of the Your Parenting Mojo podcast, which distills scientific research on child development into a format that parents can actually use.  She has done a TON of research on both child development and education, and also recently launched a course called Your Homeschooling Mojo, which helps parents to decide whether homeschooling is right for their family.     So all that said, a lot of Jen’s friends think it’s pretty ironic that she never thought she would be a parent because she didn’t have an inkling of a motherly instinct in her body.  Jen earned a bachelor’s degrees from U.C. Berkeley and a Master’s of Environmental Management from Yale and spent several years in consulting before realizing that she was way more passionate about being a parent than she ever thought she could be, so she went back to school and got a Master’s in Psychology focused on Child Development and is now working on another in Education.     She’s still doing a less-rigorous day job while she ramps up the business that she hopes will enable her daughter’s homeschooling.  We’ll talk about what she’s learned from the research she’s read that has helped her to be a better parent but also stop worrying so much about being a better parent and just enjoy life!  We’ll also dig into some of the surprising things she learned about the education system while she was doing her master’s thesis research on what motivates children to learn in the absence of a curriculum.   Listen in to hear Jen share:   How and why she uses research to lead her parenting The truth about only children and social skills and intelligence  How she knew homeschooling would be the best decision for her daughter – even though she’s not school age yet Why our current education system is not meeting the needs of our kids The myths (and truths) of homeschooling  and homeschooling stereotypes Why homeschooling is becoming more popular, especially among black families   Links Mentioned:   Podcast: The Your Parenting Mojo podcast - research-based ideas to help kids thrive (and make parenting a bit easier!) Course: The Your Homeschooling Mojo course - helping people who are interested in homeschooling figure out whether (and how) they can actually do it.  Use the code SHAMELESS20 to save $20 on your course purchase.  Interview/Book: How to talk so little kids will listen: Jen’s Interview with Julie King / Book  Interview/Book: It’s Not About The Broccoli: Jen’s Interview with Dina Rose / Book  Podcast Episode: Only Children – Are They As Bad As advertised? Podcast Episode: Parenting: All Joy and No Fun? Article: We Don’t Need No Education by Ben Hewitt Book: Class Dismissed by Meredith Maran Book: Child of Mine: Feeding With Love and Good Sense by Ellen Satter Twitter: @akidisforlife Email: jen@yourparentingmojo.com Sponsor: Aaptiv.com (use code SMA30 for a free 30 day trial) Sponsor: http://www.kindsnacks.com/sma (use this link to get 10 KIND Snacks for $10 + free shipping)    

How To Get Away With Parenting
Episode 38 - Should We Homeschool or Unschool Our Kid?

How To Get Away With Parenting

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 25, 2016 58:07


The deeper I get into this parenting thing the more I want to do things differently than I ever dreamed. Millions of people are opting out of traditional school for their children and entering the world of homeschooling. Or, they are taking the plunge and unschooling all together. But is it right for me and my kid? On this episode I sit down with fellow parenting podcaster and, future unschooler, Jen Lumanlan. We discuss a lot of the research she's come across regarding this new trend and why she thinks it's right for her daughter. I also ask every basic question there is about homeschooling.   Jen's podcast is called Your Parenting Mojo and it's really great (http://yourparentingmojo.com/)   Go to www.howtogetawaywithparenting for the full academic references of all the books and articles Jen mentions in this episode.   Website me: www.htgawp.com Email me:  htgawppodcast@gmail.com  Tweet me: @htgawp Rate and review me: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/how-to-get-away-with-parenting/id1084576130      

How To Get Away With Parenting
Episode 37 - How's Respectful Parenting Going So Far?

How To Get Away With Parenting

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 19, 2016 70:09


My husband and I decided we wanted to go on the respectful parenting journey with our daughter since before she was born. And it was all pretty easy to do when she was a newborn and then an infant. But now that she's a toddler we're on the front lines! Our beliefs about parenting are getting tested every day by our curious and strong willed little kid. So, on this episode, we discuss how we think we're doing with respectful parenting and also what areas need some work. Show notes are back!   *We try to practice RIE principles   *We read Janet Landsbury's first book and listen to her podcast   *I discovered Jen Lumanlan's podcast this week   *This week I was watching The Parenting Junkie's Reclaim Play video series   Website me: www.htgawp.com Email me:  htgawppodcast@gmail.com  Tweet me: @htgawp Rate and review me: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/how-to-get-away-with-parenting/id1084576130  

Your Parenting Mojo - Respectful, research-based parenting ideas to help kids thrive
000: Philosophy (aka "What’s this Podcast All About?")

Your Parenting Mojo - Respectful, research-based parenting ideas to help kids thrive

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 15, 2016 14:31


I always thought the infant phase would be the hardest part of parenting, when all the baby does is eat and sleep and cry.  Now I have a toddler I’m finding it’s harder than having a baby, some of the support systems that I had when she was a baby aren’t there any more, and the parenting skills I need are totally different.  How do I even know what I need to learn to not mess up this parenting thing?  Should I go back to school to try to figure it all out? In this episode I’ll tell you the history and principles behind the podcast and what we’ll learn together. Note: When I revamped the website I decided that after two years of shows, some of the information in this episode was out of date.  I recently re-recorded it to highlight the resources I’ve created for you. Please do subscribe to the show by entering your name and email address in the box below to receive updates when new podcast episodes and blog posts are published, as well as calls for questions and occasional requests for co-interviewers.  And if you’d like to continue the conversation, come join us in the Your Parenting Mojo Facebook Group (https://www.facebook.com/groups/2174808219425589/) !   (#) Hello and welcome to episode 000 of Your Parenting Mojo – the podcast that aims to bring you rigorously researched information and distill it into a toolkit you can actually use to support your child’s development, and make parenting easier on yourself. I’m your host, Jen Lumanlan, and I originally recorded this episode in August of 2016 when the show launched. But by the time October 2018 rolled around I’d been recording for two years and a lot of the information in this episode was out of date so I decided to re-record, keeping the parts that are still relevant and adjusting the parts that had changed. So in this episode, called Parenting Philosophy, I’ll share a bit about my background and what I believe about parenting, because I find that most people who put information out there make you do the work of trying to see how your beliefs and theirs fit together, and instead I want you to understand where I’m coming from and how this fits with your approach to parenting. I never thought I’d be a parent, but it happened on purpose and not by accident. My daughter is named Carys, which means “one who loves and is loved.” She was born in June 2014 (in case I forget to mention how old she is in future episodes). Before Carys was born I spent a lot of time on my birth plan, figuring I had 18 years to work out how to be a parent. When I finally got my act together I discovered the wealth of information about babies that’s available when your main concerns are related to feeding and sleeping, and our first year progressed fairly uneventfully. Carys slept through the night early, was not at all resistant to trying new foods, and after she got over some initial gassiness, was generally fairly easy to be around. A lot of the advice on parenting an infant expires around age 12 months when the child is really mobile and interested in investigating the world and I was left feeling “now what?” So I started to do a lot of reading, and in the process of doing that reading and telling other people about it (but only when they asked me!) I realized I was having fun. So I decided to start a podcast so I could share what I’m learning with other people in a format that you can do while multitasking – commuting, working out, walking the dog, whatever – because goodness knows, you don’t need something *else* to read about how to be a parent. Two principles underlie this podcast. First – respectful parenting, also known as Resources for Infant Educarers or RIE. I actually held off on doing an episode on RIE for a long time because I didn’t want my listeners to think I was some kind of crazy hippy before I had many episodes out, but I did finally record two episodes on this – the first one is...

The Sustainable Minimalists Podcast
Taming Your Triggers

The Sustainable Minimalists Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 1, 1970 23:03 Very Popular


Triggered much?It usually goes something like this. Someone in your life does SOMEthing: Maybe your boss criticizes your work. Perhaps your partner says something that hits you the wrong way. You child stalls as you're trying to get out the door.There's an antecedent, and then there's your go-to reaction. There's no space between the antecedent and your reaction; there's no intention behind your reaction, either. You simply responding on autopilot.On today's show I'm speaking with fellow podcaster Jen Lumanlan about how to align your responses with who you'd like to be as a means of living a more intentional life. Here's a preview:[3:00] Are you triggered or are you flooded? Here's the difference, according to science[5:00] Fight, flight, freeze, or fawn: An overview of The Big Four triggering/flooding responses[11:30] The ways in which culture (and specifically capitalism!) provides us with Little T traumas, every single day[17:00] What are your needs and how can you meet them? Practical first steps for taming your own triggers[18:30] Everything you need to know about The Pause[21:00] The importance of nonjudgemental observation when interacting with our children Resources mentioned:Your Parenting Mojo podcastTaming Your Triggers workshop signup Join our (free!) community hereFind your tribe. Sustainable Minimalists are on Facebook, Instagram + Youtube Email me and say hello! MamaMinimalistBoston@gmail.com  Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/sustainable-minimalists/exclusive-contentAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy