Podcast appearances and mentions of tracey boldemann tatkin

Dr. Stan Tatkin, co-founder of the PACT Institute, discusses the importance of secure functioning in relationships and the principles of mutual care and the couple bubble. He emphasizes the need for couples to create a shared vision and set of social contracts to protect and support each other. Dr. Tatkin also highlights the challenges of modern dating and the importance of building secure functioning relationships from the start. He concludes by discussing the ongoing research being conducted by the PACT Institute to provide evidence-based support for their approach. Bio: Dr. Tatkin and his wife, Tracey Boldemann-Tatkin, PhD, created the PACT Institute in 2010 to train mental health professionals to successfully integrate a psychobiological approach in their clinical practices. They appreciate his depth of understanding – of both the scientific research and the human condition – and how he integrates that wisdom to form the foundation of the comprehensive principles and methodologies he teaches. The American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists CA honored Stan with the Educator of the Year award in 2014.    Dr. Tatkin helps couples create healthy attachments and secure-functioning relationships based on fairness, justice, and sensitivity. In addition to his robust clinical practice in Calabasas, California, Dr. Tatkin and Tracey lead couples through Wired For Love Couple Retreats -- both online and in person across the United States and Europe.     Dr. Tatkin is an assistant clinical professor at the UCLA David Geffen School of Medicine, Department of Family Medicine. He is on the board of directors of Lifespan Learning Institute and serves as a founding member on Relationships First, a nonprofit organization founded by Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt. Chapters: 00:00 Introduction to Dr. Stan Tatkin and the PACT Institute 02:00 Understanding PACT and its Polytheoretical Approach 04:54 The Motivation Behind Creating a New Perspective in Couples Therapy 08:44 The Impact of John Gottman and Sue Johnson on Couples Therapy 09:42 The Role of Brain Science and Psychobiology in Couples Therapy 11:32 Applying Brain Science and Psychobiology to Communication and Conflict Resolution 13:25 The Importance of Knowledge and Psychoeducation in Couples Therapy 15:22 The Interplay Between the Brain and Couples Therapy 20:16 Revising 'Wired for Love' and the Changing Landscape of Relationships 23:14 Common Relationship Pitfalls and Mistakes to Avoid 27:38 Creating a Shared Vision and Accommodating Differences in Relationships 35:16 The Importance of Mutual Care and the Couple Bubble 44:51 Applying PACT Principles to Modern Dating and Relationships 50:14 Building Secure Functioning Relationships from the Start 52:36 Key Relationship Advice from Dr. Stan Tatkin 55:03 Ongoing Research by the PACT Institute --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/thedudetherapist/support

Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT, author of Wired for Love, joins us to talk about the neuroscience of love. Stan is a clinician, teacher, researcher, and developer of the psychobiological approach to couples therapy (PACT). He and his wife, Tracey Boldemann-Tatkin, cofounded the PACT Institute to train other mental health professionals worldwide to use this method in their clinical work. Tatkin is an assistant clinical professor at the David Geffen School of Medicine at UCLA. He maintains a private practice in Southern California, and directs PACT programs in the US and internationally. He is author of In Each Other's Care and six other books.  Visit our website at www.newharbinger.com and use coupon code 'Podcast25' to receive 25% off your entire order.  Buy the Book:  New Harbinger - https://bit.ly/3U4BO0n  Amazon - https://a.co/d/fJCvaBr  Barnes & Noble - https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/1128699983  Bookshop.org - https://bit.ly/3U9J8I2  If you have ideas for future episodes, thoughts, or questions, we'd love to hear from you! Send us an email at podcast@newharbinger.com 

 Dr. Stan Tatkin, is a PsyD, MFT, clinician, researcher, developer of the Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy® (PACT), and best-selling author of the relationship must have book, Wired for Love (second edition out June 2024), which is the complete “insider's guide” to understanding your partner's brain, sparking lasting connection, and enjoying a romantic relationship built on love and trust—now with more than 170,000 copies sold. His work has been endorsed by Gwyneth Paltrow, Alanis Morrisette, Mark Groves, Scott Steindorff, among others.    He speaks and teaches around the world on how to understand, create and sustain secure-functioning relationships and more than 1.7 million people have tuned in to Dr. Tatkin's TEDx talk. He's authored six bestselling books, and trained thousands of therapists around the world.    Dr. Tatkin has been featured in hundreds of media outlets including TIME, Mindbodygreen, KATU, PIX11, The Knot, and more.   Dr. Tatkin is available to discuss a diverse range of topics such as:  How to keep your relationship full of love, intimacy and spice - for new relationships and those married forever!  Creating Your Couple Bubble: Ways to create a strong foundation for this ecosystem for partners.   Learning to Fight Better: How to fight while remaining on the same team and keeping things fair, just, and collaborative.   How to Achieve and Maintain Relationship Equanimity: Would you fall on the sword for your relationship?   Creating Joyful Rituals: How rituals can empower a relationship.   Brain Hacks for Better Relationships: How well do you know your partner's brain?   Marriage Training vs Marriage Therapy: How to set up your marriage for success and develop resilient relationships.    More on Dr. Tatkin   Dr. Tatkin and his wife, Tracey Boldemann-Tatkin, PhD, created the PACT Institute in 2010 to train mental health professionals to successfully integrate a psychobiological approach in their clinical practices. They appreciate his depth of understanding – of both the scientific research and the human condition – and how he integrates that wisdom to form the foundation of the comprehensive principles and methodologies he teaches. The American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists CA honored Stan with the Educator of the Year award in 2014.    Dr. Tatkin helps couples create healthy attachments and secure-functioning relationships based on fairness, justice, and sensitivity. In addition to his robust clinical practice in Calabasas, California, Dr. Tatkin and Tracey lead couples through Wired For Love Couple Retreats -- both online and in person across the United States and Europe.     Dr. Tatkin is an assistant clinical professor at the UCLA David Geffen School of Medicine, Department of Family Medicine. He is on the board of directors of Lifespan Learning Institute and serves as a founding member on Relationships First, a nonprofit organization founded by Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt.     Any feedback or questions hit us up; Jamie@360yourself.co.uk community@360yourself.co.uk

Love isn't the glue. Love is not enough. Attachment biology is the glue that we confuse with love. Purpose is what keeps us going and keeps us together over time happily. What is our purpose at any given moment? Is it shared or is it just mine? You and I have to create consensus so that we find always where we agree and where we're the same, and not simply go for the low hanging fruit which is where we disagree and where we're different. Consensus builders know how to do this. I want apples and you want bananas, we fight. It didn't occur to one of us to suggest: But do we both want fruit? This could be arranged. - Dr. Stan Tatkin Live Life Well from Sunrise to Sunset Save 20% with code "WELLNESSFORCE" on everyone's favorite Superfoods brand, ORGANIFI, including their Sunrise to Sunset Bundle and their Women's Power Stack that includes HARMONY + GLOW for true hormonal balance and great health radiating through your beautiful skin. Click HERE to order your Organifi today. Are You Stressed Out Lately? Take a deep breath with the M21™ wellness guide: a simple yet powerful 21 minute morning system that melts stress and gives you more energy through 6 science-backed practices and breathwork. Click HERE to download for free. Is Your Energy Low? Looking for a cleaner brain fuel? Just one daily serving of Ketone-IQ™️ will help you feel sharper, more focused, and ready to take on the day. Click HERE to try HVMN's Ketone-IQ™ + Save 20% with the code "JOSH" *Review The WF Podcast & WIN $150 in wellness prizes! *Join The Facebook Group Wellness + Wisdom Episode 548 Dr. Stan Tatkin, a best-selling author and developer of a Psychobiological Approach to Couple Therapy® (PACT), joins Josh Trent on the Wellness + Wisdom podcast episode 548 to talk about the challenges people face in romantic relationships, attachment styles, and why love isn't enough. What is the glue that holds two people together in a romantic relationship? In this episode, you will learn what makes us feel threatened by our partners, how insecure attachment styles can be handled together with our partners, and why we pick the people in our lives based on our memory. Listen To Episode 548 As Dr. Stan Tatkin Uncovers: [01:30] Wired for Love Stan Tatkin Wired for Love: How Understanding Your Partner's Brain and Attachment Style Can Help You Defuse Conflict and Build a Secure Relationship by Stan Tatkin Sauna Space - 10% off Why relationships don't actually exist except in our head. Relationships Are Hard, But Why? | Stan Tatkin | TEDxKC Thinking, Fast and Slow by Daniel Kahneman Brain ambassadors and brain primitives. [09:20] Attachment Styles in Relationships Why we can feel threatened by our partner. Prefrontal cortex and empathy. Why attachment system is a biological mandate and can be confused for love. New patterns can't be created in a state of threat. How insecure attachment style can be handled together with our partner. Why secure attachment style can fluctuate to other attachment styles. The difference between secure functioning and secure attachment [27:15] Love Is Not Enough How relationships make us grow up. Interdependency, dependency, and codependency. How the threat system starts to show up in a relationship. Unpacking why we need principles to be able to hold each other accountable. Why we need to think ahead and not be naive. How you can protect the union between you and your partner by creating peace. Why we're naturally xenophobic. The reason why we need a shared purpose. Acting out on our xenophobia and why we should stop denying it. [49:30] The Challenges of Romantic Relationships How our survival instinct takes control over us in situations that are seemingly not life-threatening. Our fear changes our outward behavior to look threatening. Why we pick the people in our lives based on our memory. What attracts us to another person tends to end up being what we'll have an issue with. How we protect our own interest by directing our sense of disturbance outward. [01:05:00] The Problem with The Human Condition Funhouse mirrors in our relationships. Why we're never fully on the same page with our partner. How we shape our memory by adding non-experience elements into it. Memory drives state, state drives memory, and state of mind alters perception. 481 Scott Jackson | Rewire Yourself: How To Create A Life You Love With Freedom From Subconscious Sabotage Observing micro-expressions to recognize if someone is telling the truth. In Each Other's Care: A Guide to the Most Common Relationship Conflicts and How to Work Through Them by Stan Tatkin Why attachment is not the main problem but the human condition is. Power Quotes From The Show Confusing Attachment for Love "The attachment system, as I see it, is a biological mandate that says "I can't quit you." We confuse it for love. The attachment system is nature's glue that holds us together and we think it's love but it's actually a very primitive existential threat, going all the way back to infancy that losing our primary attachment relationship feels like death." - Dr. Stan Tatkin Relationships Only Exist in Our Heads "Relationships actually don't exist, except in our heads. It's an abstraction. A relationship is something you and I create from scratch. You can't take a picture of it, you can only take a picture of people. It isn't relationships that's so difficult. It's human primates. They're difficult creatures; war-like, impulsive, aggressive, self-centered, selfish, moody, fickle, xenophobic, and easily influenced by groups." - Dr. Stan Tatkin Mutual Respect + Social Contracts "I can't screw you without screwing myself. Anything I do to you is going to happen to me. That's why it's a two-people psychological system. Two individuals are two generals, two bosses that have to respect each other, and be formal enough to respect each other, but they have a pact or several pacts, social contracts, to ensure that they behave in a way that's fair justice and collaborative and cooperative at all times." - Dr. Stan Tatkin Links From Today's Show  Stan Tatkin Wired for Love: How Understanding Your Partner's Brain and Attachment Style Can Help You Defuse Conflict and Build a Secure Relationship by Stan Tatkin Sauna Space - 10% off Relationships Are Hard, But Why? | Stan Tatkin | TEDxKC Thinking, Fast and Slow by Daniel Kahneman 481 Scott Jackson | Rewire Yourself: How To Create A Life You Love With Freedom From Subconscious Sabotage In Each Other's Care: A Guide to the Most Common Relationship Conflicts and How to Work Through Them by Stan Tatkin Shop the Wellness Force Media Store Organifi – Special 20% off to our listeners with the code ‘WELLNESSFORCE' breathwork.io SEED - Save 35% with the code "JOSH" BON CHARGE - Save 15% with the code "JOSH15" MANNA Vitality - Save 20% with the code "JOSH20" Mendi.io - Save 20% with the code "JOSH20" SpectraSculpt - Save 15% with "JOSH15" SaunaSpace - 10% off using code "JOSH10" Cured Nutrition CBD - Save 20% with the CODE "WELLNESSFORCE" PLUNGE – Save $150 with the code “WELLNESSFORCE" LiftMode - Save 10% with the code "JOSH10" HVMN - Get 20% off your Ketone IQ order with the code "JOSH" MitoZen – Save 10% with the code “WELLNESSFORCE” Paleovalley – Save 15% on your ACV Complex with the code ‘JOSH' NOOTOPIA - Save 10% with the code "JOSH10" ActivationProducts – Save 20% with the code “WELLNESSFORCE” NEUVANA - Save 15% with the code “WELLNESSFORCE” SENSATE - Save $25 on your order with the code "JOSH25" DRY FARM WINES - Get an extra bottle of Pure Natural Wine with your order for just 1¢ ION - Save 15% off sitewide with the code ‘JOSH1KS' Feel Free from Botanic Tonics – Save 40% when you use the code ‘WELLNESS40′ Drink LMNT – Zero Sugar Hydration: Get your free LMNT Sample Pack, with any purchase BREATHE - Save 20% by using the code “PODCAST20” Essential Oil Wizardry: Save 10% with the code ‘WELLNESSFORCE' NEUROHACKER - Save 15% with the code "WELLNESSFORCE" ALIVE WATER - Save 33% on your first order with the code "JOSH33" M21 Wellness Guide Wellness + Wisdom Community Leave Wellness + Wisdom a review on Apple Podcasts Dr. Stan Tatkin Instagram Facebook Twitter About Dr. Stan Tatkin Dr. Stan Tatkin, is a distinguished author, renowned for his notable works including "Wired for Love" and "Your Brain on Love." Residing in Southern California, he actively practices as a clinician while imparting his expertise as a teacher at Kaiser Permanente and serving as an assistant clinical professor at UCLA. Recognized for his exceptional contributions, Stan Tatkin introduced the groundbreaking Psychobiological Approach to Couple Therapy® (PACT). Together with his spouse, Tracey Boldemann-Tatkin, he established the esteemed PACT Institute. PACT seamlessly integrates developmental neuroscience, attachment theory, and arousal regulation, rendering it a highly regarded method for addressing even the most complex relationship dynamics.    

In this episode, Kimberly and Stan discuss attachment theory, styles of learned attachment, and ways to maintain healthy relationships. They discuss attachment theory regarding parent-child relationships as well as romantic partners, differences between codependence and interdependent relationships, and how to work towards mutually beneficial relationships even during conflict. Tatkin believes that with proper understanding and/or coaching, all humans can sustain loving and beneficial relationships despite conflict.   Bio Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT, is a clinician, researcher, teacher, and developer of A Psychobiological Approach to Couple Therapy®. Tatkin has written many books based on his attachment and relationship work such as Wired for Love and most recently Baby Bomb. Tatkin created the PACT Institute in 2010 with his wife, Tracey Boldemann-Tatkin, PhD, to train mental health professionals to think and work through a psychobiological lens in their clinical practice.   What He Shares:  --Definition of Attachment theory --Attachment styles (Islands, Waves, and Anchors) --Co-Dependence vs. Interdependence --Single and step parenting --Handling conflict   What You'll Hear: --Attachment theory is felt sense of safety and security of infant and primary caregiver --Secure and insecure reactions of infant, child, adult --Island, Wave, and Anchors as learned attachment behaviors --Island preoccupied with independence and autonomy --Wave encouraged to stay dependent --Co-dependence as one-way street --Interdependence as two autonomous beings in agreement of stakeholders in relationship --Healthy relationships always being two-person system, not individual  --Couples as co-architects creating culture around them --Thinking big picture in a relationship --Importance of vetting before a relationship --Focus on perfect relationship: safety & security, love & affection, admiration & growth --Relationship/children hierarchy --Single parents moving to relationships --Evolution of pair-bonding in herds --Interrupting stress patterns during conflict to remember benefits of other person --Put something in place to remind each other to keep from harming each other --Humans wired for threat, have to work through emphasizing love and benefits for individuals involved Resources website www.thepactinstitute.com IG: @drstantatkin

Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT is a teacher, clinician, researcher, and developer of the Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy® (PACT). Beloved by colleagues and clients alike, Stan is an expert on human behavior and couple relationships. He speaks and teaches around the world on secure-functioning relationships – how to understand them, create them, and support them. Stan has written dozens of academic articles and six bestselling books – now translated into Spanish, Chinese, Turkish, and Romanian. More than 1.1 million people have tuned in to Stan's TEDx talk. A Therapist's Therapist Stan and his wife, Tracey Boldemann-Tatkin, PhD, created the PACT Institute in 2010 to train mental health professionals to successfully integrate a psychobiological approach in their clinical practices. Through the PACT Institute, Stan has trained thousands of therapists in Austin, Berkeley, Boulder, Los Angeles, New York, Santa Fe, Seattle, Canada, England, Norway, Turkey, Australia, and Spain. They appreciate his depth of understanding – of both the scientific research and the human condition – and how he integrates that wisdom to form the foundation of the comprehensive principles and methodologies he teaches. The American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists CA honored Stan with the Educator of the Year award in 2014. Go-To Source for Couples Stan helps couples create healthy attachments and secure-functioning relationships based on fairness, justice, and sensitivity. Throughout each year, Stan and Tracey travel coast to coast, leading couples through Wired For Love Couple Retreats with other PACT faculty. Stan has devoted his life to working with couples and individuals who wish to be in relationships, and he maintains a robust clinical practice in Calabasas, California. Scholar, Advancing Psychotherapy Stan is an assistant clinical professor at the UCLA David Geffen School of Medicine, Department of Family Medicine. He is on the board of directors of Lifespan Learning Institute and serves as a founding member on Relationships First, a nonprofit organization founded by Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt. A former president of the California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists, Ventura County chapter, Stan is a veteran member of Allan N. Schore's study group. He's trained in the Adult Attachment, Facial Action Coding System, and Strange Situation. He was also trained in Self and Object Relations for working with personality disorders through the Masterson Institute. As clinician, he has also specialized in treating adolescents and adults with personality disorders and drug and alcohol addiction. Stan is an experienced facilitator in Vipassana, having trained with Shinzen Young, PhD, in Vipassana meditation. He also trained with David Reynolds, PhD, in two Japanese forms of psychotherapy, Morita and Naikan.

We Do: Saying Yes to a Relationship of Depth, True Connection, and Enduring LoveStan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT, is a clinician, teacher, and author who integrates neuroscience, attachment theory, and current therapies. He is the developer of A Psychobiological Approach to Couple Therapy® (PACT), and he and his wife, Tracey Boldemann-Tatkin, created the PACT Institute to train other psychotherapists in this methodology. Dr. Tatkin teaches and supervises family medicine residents at Kaiser Permanente in Woodland Hills, CA, is assistant clinical professor at the UCLA David Geffen School of Medicine, and directs training programs throughout North America and globally. He is the author of Wired for Love: How Understanding Your Partner's Brain and Attachment Style Can Help You Defuse Conflict and Build a Secure Relationship, and Your Brain on Love: TheNeurobiology of Healthy Relationships.

“Relationships are difficult,” begins Dr. Stan Tatkin in his 2016 TED Talk. However, as you will see… they are not impossible; in fact, being in a relationship with another human being and becoming on expert on each other, is actually one of the most rewarding things in life.There is hope – whether you are needing the tools to tune up and repair some of the current ruptures in your relationship, or want to take a good relationship to great, Stan Tatkin helps show us the way through the shallows of dating, all the way through to the “I do” and how to navigate the deeper waters.Learning how to take care of ourselves through loving one another is a meaningful practice which brings about a new fulfillment, and richer life where the rewards are a revved up relationship that will thrive far into the future.Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT, is a clinician, teacher, and developer of A Psychobiological Approach to Couple Therapy® (PACT). He has a clinical practice in Calabasas, CA, where he has specialized for the last 15 years in working with couples and individuals who wish to be in relationships. He and his wife, Tracey Boldemann-Tatkin, developed the PACT Institute for the purpose of training other psychotherapists to use this method in their clinical practice.***Hosted by Stephanie James. Produced by Chris Lanphear for NoCo Media, Ltd.Music Credits: "One Blink For Yes" (from Stranger Things) by Kyle Dixon and Michael Stein, "All You Need Is Love" by The BeatlesHear new episodes Wednesdays at 9pm Eastern/7pm Mountain on NoCo FM: https://noco.fm (https://noco.fm)Listen to us on the RadioPublic app: https://www.thesparkpod.com/pod/radiopublic (https://www.thesparkpod.com/pod/radiopublic)The Spark With Stephanie James is supported by its listeners, and by Audible.com. With over 180,000 titles to choose from, Audible.com allows you to listen to an immense library of books for every taste on your iPhone, Android, Kindle, tablet, or computer, including Resilient by Rick Hanson and Molly's Game by Molly Bloom.Audible.com has a special offer for listeners of The Spark which includes a free audiobook of your choice and a 30-day free trial.Learn more and get your free audiobook now at thesparkpod.com/audible. Support this podcast

How do you keep love alive? It's not what you think!This week, we're diving deep into love, romance, danger, conflict, fact, fantasy and truth with Dr. Stan Tatkin, a clinician, researcher, teacher, and developer of a Psychobiological Approach to Couple Therapy (PACT). Tatkin's practice is based in Calabasas, California, where for the last 20 years he has specialized in working with couples, and also individuals who want to be in a relationship.Tatkin and his wife, Tracey Boldemann-Tatkin, Ph.D., founded the PACT Institute where they train psychotherapists to use the PACT method in their clinical practice. They lead couple workshops and train therapists all over the world.Tatkin is also the author of numerous books, including Wired for LOVE: How Understanding Your Partner's Brain and Attachment Style Can Help You Defuse Conflict and Build a Secure Relationship.+---------------------+We're grateful for the kind support of: ShipStation: Manage and ship your orders. FREE for 30 days, plus a bonus. Visit ShipStation.com, click on the microphone at the top of the homepage and type in GOODLIFE.ZipRecruiter: Post jobs for FREE, go to ZipRecruiter.com/good.Cultivating Place: Thoughtful conversations with both world class and everyday ordinary gardeners, growers, naturalists, scientists, artists and thinkers.To take a listen, go to cultivatingplace.com, subscribe to the podcast, and sign up for the monthly newsletter.Tula: Try TULA probiotic skincare today! Go to Tula.com/goodlife to get 20% off and free shipping on your order with the promo code at the top of the screen.

Welcome to episode seventeen of the Honest Mamas Podcast. Today, our guest is Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT, who is a clinician, researcher, teacher, and developer of A Psychobiological Approach to Couple Therapy® (PACT). He has a clinical practice in Calabasas, CA, where he has specialized for the last 15 years in working with couples and individuals who wish to be in relationships. He and his wife, Tracey Boldemann-Tatkin, developed the PACT Institute for the purpose of training other psychotherapists to use this method in their clinical practice. In addition, Dr. Tatkin teaches and supervises first- through third-year family medicine residents at Kaiser Permanente, Woodland Hills, CA, and is an assistant clinical professor at the UCLA David Geffen School of Medicine, Department of Family Medicine. He is on the board of directors of Lifespan Learning Institute and serves as a core member on Relationships First, a nonprofit organization founded by Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt. What you’ll hear in this episode   How Stan became an expert working with couples The three attachment styles in the PACT approach—the wave, anchor and island The way in which these attachment styles show up Working with our partners to crate safe and secure attachments How to deal with these issues as children come into the relationship Practical tips on how to manage conflict within a relationship Why you shouldn’t stay in an unhappy relationship just for the kids Resources https://stantatkin.com http://thepackardinstitute.com Ted Talk - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2xKXLPuju8U

GUEST STAN TATKIN: Dr. Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT, is a couple therapist known for his pioneering work in helping partners form happy, secure, and long-lasting relationships. His method—called PACT (Psychobiological Approach to Couple Therapy®)—draws on principles of neuroscience and teaches partners to become what he terms “secure-functioning.” Together with his wife, Tracey Boldemann-Tatkin, PhD, Dr. Tatkin founded the PACT Institute to train psychotherapists and other professionals how to incorporate his method into their practices with couples. Therapists from all over the world are being trained in this breakthrough approach. Dr. Tatkin has a private practice in Calabasas, CA, and is an assistant professor at the UCLA David Geffen School of Medicine, Department of Family Medicine. He is the author of several books, including the bestselling WIRED FOR LOVE and WIRED FOR DATING published by New Harbinger. (Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear more explanations, stories and examples.) STAN TATKIN TALKED ABOUT: “Secure Functioning” is being in a relationship that is fully collaborative, fully mutual, and based on justice, fairness, and sensitivity. How a couple protects each other and how they handle stress together. Environmental threats may bring stress to the individuals and the couple, and helping couples regulate the stress through connection and relationship. Family culture – is relationship a priority? If relationship is not important and prioritized, than children often develop some level of insecure attachment. Cultural messages can be misleading and confusing (i.e. “Love yourself before you can love another.”) Couples often lack purpose in their union…why they are together? What is their partnership all about? What are their shared values, agreements, and principles that keep them committed? People with insecure attachment styles tend to behave in ways that are good for the self, but are not good for the relationship. How our neurobiology impacts our perception and memory, which in turn impacts the way we perceive and experience our partners in relationship. Naturally, we tend to have a negativity bias. Prioritizing emotional attunement in relationship. The importance of having loyalty to the couple system that provides a foundation of security, safety, and sustenance for the couple to thrive. ***UPCOMING PODCAST TOPICS*** I would love your input! Please let me know what topics interest you the most by filling out this very easy survey. Also, feel free to include other topics that you would like to hear episodes on. Thank you!!!!! I appreciate you!!!!! MENTIONED: Stan Tatkin (website) PACT Institute (website) Wired for Love: How Understanding Your Partner’s Brain and Attachment Style Can Help You Defuse Conflict and Build a Secure Relationship Wired for Dating: How Understanding Neurobiology and Attachment Style Can Help You Find Your Ideal Mate Relationships Are Hard, But Why? Stan Tatkin (Ted Talk) TRANSCRIPT: Click on this link to access the transcript for this episode: ERP 107: How To Prioritize Relationship With Stan Tatkin [Transcript] If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the “Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins” button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you!  If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Empowered Relationship Course or doing relationship coaching work with me.

Why are relationships so hard? If you're anything like I am you've spent immeasurable time and effort clawing away at romantic relationships that just never seem to work out. For me personally, it's been by far the biggest supplier of grist for the mill. When the offer came across my desk to have Stan on the podcast I immediately jumped on it because I not only wanted to bring his wisdom to you but I also wanted to get into the deep end of my own issues. I got so much out of this one. We talked about the patterns within relationships, our nervous systems, gender roles and history, neurobiology and why that plays a role and techniques for dealing with conflict. Stan is smart, wise, very well educated and compassionate. Check out his site, books and this podcast! Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT, is a clinician, researcher, teacher, and developer of A Psychobiological Approach to Couple Therapy® (PACT). He has a clinical practice in Calabasas, CA, where he has specialized for the last 15 years in working with couples and individuals who wish to be in relationships. He and his wife, Tracey Boldemann-Tatkin, developed the PACT Institute for the purpose of training other psychotherapists to use this method in their clinical practice. In addition, Dr. Tatkin teaches and supervises first- through third-year family medicine residents at Kaiser Permanente, Woodland Hills, CA, and is an assistant clinical professor at the UCLA David Geffen School of Medicine, Department of Family Medicine. He is on the board of directors of Lifespan Learning Institute and serves as a core member on Relationships First, a nonprofit organization founded by Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt. www.stantatkin.com

Aired Thursday, 12 January 2017, 2:00 PM ETIn the age of online dating, finding a real connection can seem more daunting than ever. But, what if there is a way to stack the odds of finding the right person for you in your favor? Everyone wants to find love, but few really understand how and why people become attracted to one another; how to move toward or away from commitment; and the important role the brain and nervous system play in the creation of love and romance. Join Sylvia and Dr. Stan Tatkin as they discuss practical tips that you can use to prepare yourself for dating and love so that you’ll be ready to meet your ideal partner and know how to make a meaningful connection. About the Guest Dr. Stan Tatkin Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT, is the author of Wired for Love, Your Brain on Love, and Love and War in Intimate Relationships. He has a clinical practice in Southern California, teaches at Kaiser Permanente, and is an assistant clinical professor at UCLA. Tatkin developed the Psychobiological Approach to Couple Therapy (PACT®) and together with his wife, Tracey Boldemann-Tatkin, founded the PACT Institute. For more information about Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT, visit: www.StanTatkin.com

Join us as we’ll discuss:Your lover’s - and your own - attachment style.What the ‘couple bubble’ is and how it saves relationships.How we can rewire our brains for better relationships. Dr. Tatkin received his early training in developmental object relations, Gestalt, psychodrama, and family systems theory. His private clinical practice specialized for some time in treating adolescents and adults with personality disorders, but more recently, his interests turned to psycho-neurobiological theories of human relationship, and applying principles of early mother-infant attachment to adult romantic relationships. Stan Tatkin and his wife, Tracey Boldemann-Tatkin, developed the PACT Institute to train clinicians in A Psychobiological Approach to Couple Therapy (PACT®). A fusion of attachment theory, developmental neuroscience, and arousal regulation, PACT is quickly gaining a reputation for effectively treating couples formerly thought of as untreatable. The PACT Institute hosts trainings in seven US cities as well as in Australia, Canada, Spain, and Turkey. To learn more about Dr. Tatkin go to http://stantatkin.com.

*Tracey Boldemann-Tatkin, PhD* Tracey Boldemann-Tatkin has served as the director of various philanthropic family foundations over three decades. In addition to her leadership roles, she has been involved at the ground level of humanitarian efforts worldwide. Tracey is co-founder of the PACT Institute. *Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT* Clinician, author, PACT developer, and co-founder of the PACT Institute, Dr. Tatkin teaches at UCLA, maintains a private practice in Southern California, and leads PACT programs in the US and internationally. In this episode of Mother the Mother: * The benefits of youth volunteerism * Ways to be of service with your family * The decline in our society’s sense of community * Attachment theory & how the PACT Institute came to be * Creating agreements in your relationship * Reducing overwhelm & decision-fatigue through movement This show is supported by : * BLUblox | Head over to blublox.com/MTM ( https://www.blublox.com/MTM ) for 15% off your pair of BLUblox glasses. * ClearStem | Visit clearstemskincare.com/ ( https://clearstemskincare.com/ ) and enter code MTM at checkout for $10 off of product orders. For 15% off of their Ditch Your Acne course, visit clearstem-skincare.mykajabi.com/custom-homepage ( https://clearstem-skincare.mykajabi.com/custom-homepage ) and use code MTM  Resources: * Learn more: thepactinstitute.com ( https://www.thepactinstitute.com/ ) Robert Putnam – Bowling Alone and other civic engagement information: * Robertdputnam.com ( http://robertdputnam.com/ ) Where children can donate gently used stuffed animals and books and toys: * nationalcasagal.org ( https://nationalcasagal.org/ ) Following are organizations families can donate to projects: * grameenamerica.org ( https://www.grameenamerica.org/ ) * kiva.org ( https://www.kiva.org/ ) * habitat.org ( https://www.habitat.org/ ) * heifer.org ( https://www.heifer.org/ ) * tenthousandvillages.com ( https://www.tenthousandvillages.com/ ) Family volunteer opportunities: * about.usps.com/holidaynews/operation-santa.htm ( https://about.usps.com/holidaynews/operation-santa.htm ) * thepeopleconcern.org/volunteer.php ( https://www.thepeopleconcern.org/volunteer.php ) * healthebay.org ( https://healthebay.org/ ) This show is produced by Soulfire Productions ( http://soulfireproductionsco.com/ )