MagaMama with Kimberly Ann Johnson: Sex, Birth and Motherhood

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Cutting-edge, pioneering conversations on holistic women's health, including sex, birth, motherhood, womanhood, intimacy and trauma with doula, certified Sexological Bodyworker, Somatic Experiencing practitioner, and author of The Fourth Trimester, Kimberly Ann Johnson.

Kimberly Ann Johnson: Author, Vaginapractor, Co-founder of the School for Postpartum Care


    • Sep 29, 2022 LATEST EPISODE
    • every other week NEW EPISODES
    • 57m AVG DURATION
    • 175 EPISODES

    4.8 from 216 ratings Listeners of MagaMama with Kimberly Ann Johnson: Sex, Birth and Motherhood that love the show mention: thank you kimberly, post pregnancy, kimberly's, embodied, womanhood, postpartum, women's, nourishing, practitioner, birth, mothers, motherhood, pregnant, grounded, physical, wellness, born, courage, feelings, healing.



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    Latest episodes from MagaMama with Kimberly Ann Johnson: Sex, Birth and Motherhood

    EP 169: Food as Healing, Understanding Needs for Safety and Satiation with Ali Shapiro

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 29, 2022 65:31


    In this episode, Kimberly and Ali discuss how food intersects with physiology and psychology. Specifically, they discuss how to identify our physical and emotional needs, how to send safety signals to our bodies, and how to unpack some of the deeper impacts of socialization and culture around eating and body image. Similar to our nervous system signals, our bodies and minds send signals when dealing with chronic stress and unconscious stories around our behaviors that often motivate our food choices. Ali works with women to help them unpack issues around diet culture, body image, and eating for satisfaction and nutrition.   Bio Ali Shapiro is an MSOD, CHHC, holistic nutritionist, cancer survivor, and host of the podcast “Insatiable.” Her work is at the intersection of physiology and psychology as she helps women unravel their relationships with body image, food, and movement in order to ultimately build a sense of safety and satisfaction. She offers the Truce with Food Coaching program as well as individual client sessions and speaking engagements.   What She Shares: –Uncoupling body image from normal human emotions –Physical and emotional safety signals –Identifying physiological and psychological needs –Emotional immune system –Food for healing and health –Truce with Food program   What You'll Hear: –Issues with body image/positivity marketed to women –Socialization and religious culture influencing body image –Prioritizing safety signals –Unpacking individualization and systemic issues surrounding food –Weight and health –Physical and emotional safety signals –Identifying foods and movement right for our individual bodies –Prioritizing sun and sleep especially through aging –Re-establishing relationship with our bodies with food experiments –Identifying which foods make body feel safe and satisfied –Intrinsic motivation versus shame-based motivation around health –Emotional safety –Emotional immune system run down by chronic stress –Anticipating deprivation and/or restricting with food –No baseline of neutrality and satiation –Translating the body's signals –Intuition based on patterns, difficult with lifetime of dieting/overeating/undereating –Highly processed foods hijacked intuitive understanding –Practicing intuition with three meals a day for physiological and psychological benefits –Rejecting commercialized brand names of diets –Restriction with food in relation to aging, stress, parenting, etc. –Processed foods on a continuum –Amount of attention to give eating can be overwhelming –Undoing binary thinking around foods –Emotional health in relation to food, exercise, diet –Emotional immune systems made up of stories –Intersection of physiology and psychology –Family, peers, religion, work influences to emotional health –Overriding body's signals to “deserve” to eat –Seeking belonging on deepest level –Food one of our first senses of safety and comfort –Understanding insulin resistance, blood sugar levels, and stress –Turning to sugar for nurturance and comfort –Reducing stress and balancing blood sugar results in less sugar intake –Sleep-deprivation contributing to higher sugar intake –Nervous system predisposes towards certain tolerances with foods –Identifying physical and psychological needs for health and sense of safety –Basic human habits declining with modernization and individualization –Food and community   Resources Website: https://alishapiro.com/ IG: @alimshapiro

    EP 168: Honoring Limits and Capacities through Life Cycles, Business, and Yoga Practice with Sara Avant Stover

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 12, 2022 67:44


    Summary In this episode, Kimberly and Sara discuss how they met through yoga, how they approach their businesses, and how they navigate moving through biological seasons such as premenopause and menopause. While culture wants women to continue pushing towards growth, Kimberly and Sara explain the importance of honoring their own limitations and energy levels especially as entrepreneurs. They also discuss Sara's approach to her online yoga teacher trainings for women.   Bio Sara Avant Stover is a teacher of feminine spirituality, bestselling author, and Internal Family Systems (IFS) Practitioner. After graduating Phi Beta Kappa and summa cum laude from Columbia University's all-women's Barnard College, she had a cancer scare, moved to Thailand, and embarked on a decade-long healing and spiritual odyssey throughout Asia. Since then, Sara's gone on to uplift the lives of tens of thousands of women worldwide. The creator of the world's first Women's Yoga Teacher Training, she specializes in supporting women to navigate challenging life transitions and heal from trauma, in service of living with more ease, wholeness, and fulfillment. Sara has also been featured in Yoga Journal, the Huffington Post, Newsweek, Natural Health, and on ABC, NBC, and CBS. She lives in Boulder, CO, and online at SaraAvantStover.com What She Shares: –Kimberly and Sara's yoga teaching experiences together –Sara's The Way of the Happy Woman: Yoga and Meditation Teacher Training for Women –Accepting limitations and different capacities in business –Navigating biological seasons and accepting life's paths What You'll Hear: –How Kimberly and Sara met –Sara's experiences hosting yoga teacher trainings –Discovering love and capacity for leadership –Developed women's yoga teacher training –Transitioning to online teacher trainings –Reasons for focusing on women in trainings –Having sensibility and sensitivity while working with range of people –Processing emotions in community during trainings –Sara's experience dismantling and rebuilding business –Business practices valuing simplicity, cohesion, and sustainability –Navigating behind-the-scenes business challenges –Business expectations and assumptions for coaches –Marketing in the self-help, coaching, yoga worlds –Regret in business and entrepreneurship –Limitations and the feminine –Feminism, fertility, aging, and biology –Accepting limitations around bearing children –Childlessness and singleness in US culture –Ideology trumping biology in many circumstances –Technology and IVF not guarantees –Specific practices for pregnancy, postpartum, menstruation, perimenopause, postmenopause –Internal Family Systems therapy –IFS therapy part of teacher training –Range of experiences, ages, etc. in trainings –Intergenerational and international training –Women learning through modeling and others' stories –Setting up life and business to prepare for menopause –Sara's YTT starting early October –Honoring Zoom fatigue during online training   Resources Website: https://www.womensyogateachertraining.com/ https://www.saraavantstover.com/ IG: @saraaventstover

    EP 166: Making Friends with Yourself through Aging with Barbara Dilley

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 8, 2022 59:29


    In this episode, Kimberly and Barbara discuss Barbara's iconic career as a dancer and performer in the 1960s, her work as a founder and President of Naropa University, and her pedagogy which combined dance and performance with mindboby practices and various spiritual traditions. She also discussed the early days of Naropa University which symbolized the creative and expansive, alternative movements that were happening culturally at the time. Barbara then shares her reflections on aging, sickness, and internalized ageism as well as creative ways for aging people to live and embrace the end of life.   Bio Barbara Dilley (Lloyd) (born 1938) is an American dancer, performance artist, improvisor, choreographer and educator, best known for her work as a prominent member of the Merce Cunningham Dance Company and The Grand Union, from 1969 to 1976. She has taught movement and dance at Naropa University in Boulder, Colorado, since 1974, developing a pedagogy that emphasizes what she calls “embodied awareness,” an approach that combines dance and movement studies with meditation, “mind training” and improvisational composition. She served as the president of Naropa University from 1985 to 1993.   What She Shares: —Early career as a dancer —Performing as a young mother —First President of Naropa University —Origins of Mind-Body practices in 60s and 70s —Ageism in spiritual and New Age communities —Kindness through sickness, aging, and death   What You'll Hear: —Being the “first” in various fields —First President of Naropa University —Transition from ballet into modern dance —Pregnancy and mothering while performing —Shadow-side of touring the world as a young mother —Modern dancing in India in the 1960s —Strain on family life while  touring —Leaving marriage and family during 60s —Personal drive to pursue performing career —Cultural environment of new thoughts, opportunities, creativity, avant-garde world —Origins of Movement Studies work  —Improvisation performance technique styles emerging —Began teaching at Naropa in 1974 —Created dance program at Naropa and leaving NYC —Teaching alongside Ram Dass and Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche —Contemplative Education from East and West at Naropa —Incorporating Mind-Body practices into Dance courses —Spiritual appointment of serving as President at Naropa —Transitioning to retirement from writing and teaching —Feeling emotionally and physically drained leading to health issues —Learning through aging and cultural ageism —Working through cultural imprints around aging —Feeling in competition with younger self —Ageism in spiritual and New Age communities —Kindness through aging which is inevitable —Accepting inevitability of aging and death instead of turning away —”Spiritual materialism” —Becoming invisible as an aging woman —No cultural appreciation for elders —Holistic understanding of human journey including aging and death —Multicultural and multigenerational living instead of nuclear families —Finding small community to discuss sickness, old age, and death —Stormy waves of birth, old age, sickness, and death

    EP 166: Activate Your Inner Jaguar Alumni Round Table

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 2, 2022 42:22


    In this collection of testimonials, Jaguar course alumni speak about how the Jaguar work and community have supported their journey of healing trauma and widening their capacity to actively and presently engage with life. As Kimberly and her team prepare for the next round of Jaguar, this testimony speaks beautifully to the type of experience you might find in the upcoming 4-week course "Activate Your Inner Jaguar Foundatoins." In this episode, you meet three dynamic Jaguar women: Audrey Holst, Tori Miller, and Nicole Siegel. Each of these women talks about specific before and after experiences that intersected with their Jaguar work. Here is some of what you will hear in this episode: Audrey: Jaguar shows up as full-life shifts We can't think our way to something different Jaguar work is approachable and doable when taken in as small bites on a regular basis Her dominant story in the past, “Nothing bothers me” she realizes now, is more about resignation The accumulation of reclamations of space and time is hugely important to her The embodiment of panic is shifting when she rock-climbs. When in moments of stress, staying conscious and present is increasing The bigger piece of this work is enjoying the things that she wants to enjoy in her life more fully   Tori: The Jaguar community aspect has been so important to her After cancer treatment, Tori found herself struggling to be around others. Jaguar work helped her to re-engage with important people in her life With innovative Jaguar practices she continues to notice new things in her body, after having ignored it for so long, due to chronic pain Having Ehlers-Danlos has caused proprioception issues. Jaguar work has helped Tori rediscover a new grounding in her body Tori loves how Kimberly talks about healthy sympathetic charge, even adrenaline responses.  When she accepted this in her system, it calmed down more quickly, leaving behind a constant state of fight or flight Tori is more hopeful about her health and that her own body can help with her healing Dancing never felt good with Ehlers-Danlos: balance issues, pain, coordination, self-consciousness. Now she dances all of the time, even in public   To sign up for the Foundation Edition of Activate Your Inner Jaguar that begins September 6th, or to read more about the course and about what other women are saying about Activate your Inner Jaguar, go to https://kimberlyannjohnson.com/sessions/.

    EP 165: Disrupting the Narratives of Perimenopause + Menopause, and Radical Self-Care with Catherine Hale

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 27, 2022 53:07


    In this episode, Kimberly and Catherine discuss their personal experiences of perimenopause and menopause. Catherine shares how her identity as a holistic health practitioner and educator initially conflicted against her need for allopathic medical treatment or HRT, hormone replacement therapy, which has been life-changing through her experience of menopause. Together, they discuss symptoms of perimenopause and menopause and how menopause changes pelvic health, business, sex, and relationships. Menopause serves as a season that invites us inward while disrupting areas in our lives that need shifted. They also discuss how today's generation of menopausal women are disrupting the narratives around this life-changing initiation.   Bio Catherine Hale is a UK-based practitioner and educator. She is trained in Sexological Body Work, Tantra, Sexual Shamanism and supports clients collectively and individually around trauma, sex, pelvic health, nervous system regulation, money, business, and more. Recently, she has publicly shared her menopausal journey as a practitioner which has helped her further support her community. She offers coaching, courses, and more on her website below. What She Shares: –Symptoms of perimenopause and menopause –Using Hormone Replacement Therapy –Radical self-care and self-love –Navigating business, sex, and relationships through menopause   What You'll Hear: –Identifying perimenopause –Irregular cycle, change in length of cycle, hot flashes, etc. –Feeling like cognitive function dissipated during hot flashes –Debilitating hot flashes during nighttime –Difficulty as a sex, tantra, women's health practitioner but not finding solutions –Menopausal underwear –Identity as a practitioner, belief about Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) –Strong identification against HRT created sense of belonging in community –Sense of being a failure using HRT –Becoming humbled by menopause journey and HRT –Change in newer data showing not as strong link between cancer and HRT –Spiritual healer identity –Synthetic hormones versus bio-identical hormones –Dutch test to identify hormones –Radical self-care and fully caretaking of body in business –Changing relationship with business through menopause –Prioritizing body and self more fully in business –New levels of needs and organization through and post menopause –Finding new sources of energy and needs for rest –Menopause and relationships –Menopause gives blueprint for who you're moving towards –Fear in some men around women's power during menopause –Gap in communities for men to be supported during partners' menopause –Vaginal and libido changes  –Creating closer relationship to vulva and internal felt senses for vaginal tissue –Misinformation in tantra trainings around sexuality and menopause –Intimacy, sexual, and spiritual communities ignoring menopausal bodies –Catherine's offerings around nervous system, trauma, money, and more   Resources Website: https://catherinehale.co.uk/ IG: https://www.instagram.com/catherinehaleuk/

    EP 164: Reckoning Book Release - Grief, Heartbreak and Elderhood in a Me-First Era with Stephen Jenkinson

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 18, 2022 123:53


    Celebrating the release of their new book Reckoning, Kimberly Ann Johnson and Stephen Jenkinson grapple with the key themes of their convergence: grief, heartbreak, culture work, elderhood, and the prevalent myth of individualism in this Me First era we find ourselves in.  Three times as many people listened to their 2021 conversations (Episodes 135 and 136) than any other talk, which led to a five conversation series, an exchange of letters, and now Reckoning To order the book- hardback, paperback or audiobook go to: www.orphanwisdom.com/reckoning Bullet points won't do this episode justice, so buckle in for the two hour ride that is more in the spirit of the original conversations than about the book itself.

    EP 163: Getting your Power Back through Managing your Personal Finances with Jennifer Mayer

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 14, 2022 45:21


    In this episode, Kimberly and Jen discuss financial planning and making financial decisions such as investing, budgeting, managing debt, saving for emergency funds and retirement. With recent inflation and a possible upcoming recession in addition to ethics of equity, many feel overwhelmed by their personal finances moving them into a state of freeze. Jen provides practical steps towards mapping out a budget, paying off high-interest debt, and creating savings. Jen also discusses how she works with clients individually and her upcoming 12 week financial planning program for entrepreneurs.   Bio Jen Mayer is a Brooklyn-based mother of two, financial counselor, and former doula with a vast background in the wellness industry. She currently works with clients by offering non-judgemental financial counseling such as paying down debt, planning for retirement, in addition to other major life changes such as starting a business or having a child. Jen can be contacted through her Instagram and website linked below.   What She Shares: –Inflation and the current US market –Overwhelming debt –Saving, investing and emergency funds –Shame and freeze around finances –Profit Foundations 12 week financial planning course   What You'll Hear: –Transition from doula work and agency to finance –Personal finance counselor and coach –Debt management, financial foundations, retirement, savings, and more –Non-judgemental support, shame around finance –Advocacy in finance –Offered free counseling sessions –Financial trauma and shame –Navigating ideals around money and real-world contexts –Retirement needs within the US –Anti-capitalism and individual preferences and comfort around money –Investing, owning and other decisions around money –Emergency funds for 3-6 months living expenses –Distinction between savings and hoarding –Saving with a plan instead of hoarding –Cash losing value from inflation –Stock market depreciating  –Possible upcoming recession  –Uncertainty around current economy –Investments waiting for financial rebound –High interest debt over 6-7% –Opportunity for investments –Paying off debt as rates go up –Ambivalence around entrepreneurship  –Fixed expenses, variable expenses, debt and savings –More leeway in increasing income versus cutting spending –Managing massive amounts of debt –Nervous system responses to debt –Aggressive strategies for more financial freedom –Debt as morally neutral –Having witnessing and accountability to personal finances –Getting a personal banker and an advisor –Understanding different roles of financial professionals –Profit Foundations: 12 week financial program –Self-employment finances –Program for personal finances, business projections, tax strategy and retirement –Benefits of one-to-one sessions versus group program –Investing and saving while paying off debt –High interest and low interest debt –Investment growth and debt compounds –Invest in traditional retirement account to lower student loan debt –Women having personal accounts while married and partnered Resources Website: https://profit-foundations.mailchimpsites.com/ IG: @fullyfundedx40weeks @breadwinning.co

    EP 162: Connective Tissue, Movement, and Understanding Stress with Alicia Fajardo

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 10, 2022 65:57


    In this episode, Kimberly and Alicia discuss connective tissue, states of the nervous system, dealing with chronic pain, and more. They discuss the complexities of fascia, differences between genetics and epigenetics, understanding individual dominant nervous system states, and body/mind mapping. Understanding the differences between physiological stress versus emotional stress as well as the importance of consciously and specifically paying attention to pain can help us begin to understand how to manage it better.   Bio Alicia has over 35 years of experience in the fitness industry and holds a B.S. in Exercise Science and Sports Studies. A longtime movement enthusiast, Alicia has studied, practiced, and taught many different types of movement throughout her career. She is the Founder of the Fajardo Method of Holistic Biomechanics which teaches movement education and motor re-patterning in conjunction with nervous system awareness. She teaches various kinds of classes and has an upcoming workshop which can be accessed by the link below. What She Shares: –Composition of Fascia –Ehlers-Danlos syndrome –Genetics versus epigenetics –Place and grid cells –Working with chronic pain –Physiological versus emotional stress   What You'll Hear: –Syndrome longer lasting consequences affect autoimmune system –Ehlers-Danlos syndrome as connective tissue disorder can go through all layers of tissues –Can occur in muscular, joint, organ, vascular system(s) –Attacks in different ways for different people –Different types of testing to determine syndrome –Perceptual experiences of symptoms –Fascia made up of collagen, elastin, glycoproteins and protoglycans –Ground substance in fascia –Dominant state of nervous system determines ground substance –Body weight distribution dependent upon dominant state of nervous system –Nervous system state determines mineral absorption and digestion –Hypermobility and developing support for joints –Getting valve system to move –Creating dominant parasympathetic motor patterns versus sympathetic motor reflex –Genetics versus epigenetics –Genetic has dominant or receptive expression from parents' genes –Genetic expression has to do with mutation of a gene –Epigenetics deals with genetic expression –Epigenetics internal or external environment can potentially change gene expression –EDS can be both genetic or epigenetic –Many mental health issues connected to hyper-sympathetic nervous system –Emotional stress versus physiological stress –Physiological stress is sympathetic nervous system –Emotional stress causing conflict to conscious and unconscious brain firing off sympathetic nervous system –Vagus nerve and adaptability to sympathetic and parasympathetic –Trigeminal nerve largest nerve in body, controls brain and senses –All nerves have roles in either sympathetic or parasympathetic states –Paying attention to bodily sensations doesn't create brain map –Paying attention to external environment to communicate safety to brain –Proprioception and greater movement orientation –Brain map –Sensation and location awareness –More movement and dynamic and parasympathetic –Exercises for mapping –Keeping awareness between two points on body –Different stages of states and conservation of energy –Emotional Anatomy by Stanley Keleman –Observing and being very specific about what's happening in body with EDS –Bodies constantly changing –Avoiding labels when understanding pain –Losing body's adaptability when labeling –Attachment to diagnoses and labeling –Symptoms dependent on nervous system states difficult to diagnose and treat from medical perspective –Adapting sympathetic activation to be appropriate to environment –Brain assessing environment to determine appropriate state –Physiological responding to environment instead of emotional state –Teaches various classes and upcoming workshops   Resources Website: https://fajardomethodmovement.com/

    EP 160: Activate Your Inner Jaguar Alumni Round Table

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 6, 2022 38:10


    In this collection of testimonials, Jaguar course alumni speaks about how the Jaguar work and community have supported their journey of healing trauma and widening their capacity to actively and presently engage with life. As Kimberly and her team prepare for the next round of Jaguar, this testimony speaks beautifully to the type of experience you might find in the upcoming 6-week course "Activate Your Inner Jaguar - Somatic Healing Through Movement."

    roundtable alumni jaguar activate your inner jaguar
    EP 160: Second Spring – Discernment, Intuition, and Healing During Perimenopause and Menopause with Kate Codrington

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 1, 2022 65:20


    In this episode, Kimberly and Kate discuss navigating the physical, spiritual, and lifestyle changes of perimenopause, menopause, and postmenopause. They discuss the negative associations with perimenopause and menopause based on culture that condition us to view of these life cycles unfavorably. They also discuss parenting during these stages, tending to symptoms with curiosity and kindness, and using the pulls inward to bloom into seasons of second springs and second summers of life. Perimenopause and menopause can be powerful times of tending to ourselves more kindly, reintegrating and healing ourselves from previous life stages, and harnessing the power of intuition and discernment. Bio Kate Codrington is a menstrual and menopause mentor, speaker, workshop facilitator, writer, podcaster and former therapist for nearly 30 years. She is also an artist currently weaving textiles, words, story and stitch. Her first book Second Spring: the self-care guide to menopause is published by HarperCollins and she also has a variety of offerings such as yoga nidra, online classes, and more. What She Shares: —Identifying the perimenopause phase —Cultural anxieties around menopause —Defining perimenopause and menopause —Parenting while transitioning —Tending to extreme symptoms —Superpowers of menopause    What You'll Hear: —Peri-menopause  —Cultural anxieties surrounding peri-menopause —Gaining weight and losing elasticity during perimenopause —Facing mortality through menopause —Peri-menopause time to examine and let go to life that doesn't serve us —Shedding before moving into new phase of life —Culture making menopausal women invisible contributing to anxiety  —Healthcare uninformed generally around menopause —Perimenopause defined as “around menopause” —Symptoms are changes in menstruation from what is normal —More desire to be alone —Health costs to amount of working leading up to menopause —Perimenopause time ranges between months to many years —Negative connotations associated with “postpartum” and “menopause” —Interfering versus accepting peri-menopause and menopause —Parenting during perimenopause —Stages of menopause in relation to seasons and cycles —Oxytocin encouraging sociality in direct conflict with need to withdraw during menopause —Guilt over feelings of needing alone time while parenting  —Enormous call of turning inward  —Meeting conflict of needing alone time while parenting —Differences of rhythms and slowness within family systems —Changes in relationship to sex during peri-menopause and menopause —Embracing physical changes in vaginal tissue —Staying close to pleasure, safety, and kindness sexually —Endless variations of sexuality and meeting the moment —Post-menopause as “another country” —Reconnecting and reintegrating with former teenage self  —Disorientation during losing cycles of menstruation —Ritual, journaling, honoring loss and grief  —Being tender and sweet with ourselves moment by moment —Call for attention and kindness —Severe symptoms calling for attention and kindness for treatment —Menopausal super-powers of discernment, intuition, and spirituality —Second spring and second summer of life postmenopause   Resources Website: https://www.katecodrington.co.uk/ IG: @kate_codrington

    EP 159: Non-Dual Reality, Boundaries, Attachment & Core Energetics with Ishita Sharma

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 10, 2022 69:19


    In this conversation, Kimberly and Ishita wonder together about non-dualism, embodiment, culture, ancestral heritage, and more. They discuss Ishita's approach to non-dualism which holds both consciousness of energy while being connected to the body in the present moment. While many spiritual teachings dismiss the body, the body holds wisdom and energy, particularly through the nervous system. Ishita proposes that the nervous system is energy at its core, and we understand the energetic layers and boundaries of our nervous systems, energies, and others'. They also discuss spiritual teachings, cultural differences between India and the U.S., and varying cultural practices as evidence of universal principles.   Bio Ishita Sharma serves as a mentor, mirror and activator to those who wish to better our world. She helps them embody their truest purpose while rising beyond ego-centric paradigms through her work of Come to Center. Ishita has coached leaders from Google, Harvard, MIT, Silicon Valley startups and multinationals. Clients come to her to grow and heal through their deepest challenges and longings while held in their perfect wholeness. They include seekers and scientists, therapists and coaches, visionaries and creatives, CEOs and incarcerated youth.   What She Shares: —Non-duality and embodiment —Holding space for vulnerability and grief —Energy of the nervous system  —Culture and ancestral lineages    What You'll Hear: --Holding space for others in grief and anger --Showing up naked and vulnerable --Recognition of one's own suffering --Being honest and curious in the journey --Showing up vulnerable for ourselves and the moment --Non-dual awareness without spiritual bypassing --Growing up in India compared to living in the West --Dissociation, non-awakened states very problematic --Confusion around what awakening is --Many turn to spirituality to turn from trauma sometimes creating conflict --Energetics connecting with nervous system --Field to field interaction --Energy to energy interaction --Nervous system is electrical impulses --How to get with what is --Holding both particularities and universalities --Most of us lost in our ordinary minds (thoughts, emotions, physicality) --Holding messiness of being human --Body holding information versus being untrustworthy in spiritual circles --Dangers of speaking about truths that can only be experienced to be known --Masculine-focused spirituality bypassing wisdom of the body --Rejection of boundaries which should be honored (personal, interpersonal, physicality, etc) --Being in sync with what is not resisting --Over-valuing teachers and spiritual leaders --Lack of secure attachment in US culture --Lack of community, base to sit on, foundation in US culture as opposed to other cultures --Universe is here to support me not antagonize me --Lack of co-regulation in US culture --Ancestral influences in culture that lacks knowledge of ancestry --Void and absence over generations present in us now --Principles of universe across time and culture --Owning what we are ancestrally before learning others --Murmurations --Basics course for embodied meditation   Resources Website: https://cometocenter.com/

    EP 158: Sexual and Non-Sexual Tantric Practices for Healing Trauma with Devi Ward Erickson

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 1, 2022 58:49


    In this episode, Kimberly and Devi discuss healing trauma, embodiment, and various sexual and non-sexual healing spiritual traditions. Devi describes her background from stripping in Detroit to a spiritual journey of Tibetan Tantric Buddhism as well as various other spiritual practices and her current work of holistic sexual healing. Together, they discuss how some spiritual traditions are needed in various life stages but actually dissociate us from our bodies and pain. They discuss how trauma can be processed, healed, and repaired through Tantra practices and ultimately serve others through that wisdom and healing.   Bio Devi Ward Erickson is the Founder of The Institute of Authentic Tantra Education – the first and only government accredited professional training institute using the Tibetan Five Element Tantric practices for holistic sexual healing. She is also an ACS Certified Sexologist, Certified Tantric Healer, Certified Reiki Practitioner, Certified Meditation Instructor, and accomplished practitioner of Tibetan Tantric Buddhism. She specializes in using Authentic Tantra® and “pleasure as medicine” to awaken more joy, more pleasure, more connection, more love in every area of life. What She Shares: —Growing up as a biracial woman —Journey from stripping to becoming a monk —Tibetan Tantra practices —Sexual and non-sexual practices for healing trauma —Repairing trauma cellularly through Tantra   What You'll Hear: –Neo-tantra, adaptation and appropriation ancient spiritual science from India thousands of years ago –Tantra originally a system of healing rooted in Africa then travelled to India –Devi shares her background as a biracial woman experiencing racial trauma and violence –Survivor of childhood domestic violence and other traumas –Tantra as path of healing and reclamation of humanity –Authentic tantra vs. neo-tantra –Regulate nervous systems through tantra, meditation, breath, and awareness –Tantra tool-kit for healing trauma with benefits of sexual pleasure –First practice of tantra is mindfulness, creating presence of body –Stigma and glorification of sex work –Serious suicide attempt as rock bottom –Devoted self to spiritual studies, herbal medicine, reiki, meditation, crystal healing, etc. –Moved to NC, took vows to become monk in Ishaya Order –Observing celibacy as part of vows –Sexuality during spiritual and yoga trainings –Describes addiction to dissociative form of meditation  –Turned to Tibetan five element tantra after experiencing health issue –”Running the elements” meditation practice as a powerful experience –Non-sexual and sexual Tibetan five element tantra  –Had to confront trauma directly for first time –Healing trauma through meditative sexual practices –Genital healing massage techniques –Boundaries in sexological body work and sexual healing traditions –Couples to be sexual healers for each other- sex with intention, focus and purpose –Intergenerational trauma, collective trauma –Creating spaciousness in body and mind to repair cells and trauma –Holding multiple truths with nervous system awareness and tantra practices –Greater capacity to hold apparent, contradictory opposites and serving others   Resources Website: https://deviwardtantra.com/ IG: @deviwardtantra

    EP 157: Wreckage, Ritual, and Witnessing through Threshold Experiences with Day Schildkret

    Play Episode Listen Later May 9, 2022 54:56


    In this episode, Kimberly and Day discuss rituals and reflections for life-altering experiences. Our culture does not hold much space for processing how threshold events change us such as birth, postpartum, death, and all forms of comings and goings in our lives. Day describes what led him to his work of “Morning Altars” and newest book “Hello, Goodbye” which was a series of life-changing moments that he calls “wreckage” and how he pieced together rituals to acknowledge those experiences and their influence. Together, they discuss how to create rituals for all kinds of life moments, especially those which impact us deeply.   Bio Day Schildkret is an internationally known artist, teacher, and author. His two books “Morning Altars: A 7-Step Practice to Nourish Your Spirit Through Nature, Art, and Ritual” and “Hello. Goodbye: 75 Rituals for Times of Loss, Celebration, and Change” help readers connect with art, nature, and ritual. His work has been featured on NBC, CBS, as well as BuzzFeed, Vice, Well+Good, and more. What He Shares: –Personal roots behind “Morning Altars” work, when his mother forgot his name –Creating beauty in wreckage - Marking transitions  - He's looking for a husband, if you know anyone! –Ritual, acknowledgement, and witnessing life's impactful events   What You'll Hear: –Morning Altars came from early fascination with decorating nature –Morning Altars came after break-up with partner and father's death –Low-stakes creativity and ritual in nature –”Being wrecked” and not turning away from the endings of things –”Wreckage” deeply connected to grief and loss and turning towards it –Continuing to live while walking in the world with wreckage –Wonderment and not taking life for granted –Making meaning with life, grief, art, relationships –Experience with mother's dementia –Transforming grief and wreckage into something beautiful –Lit candles thinking of friends and family who loved mother –Creating ritual in pain –Art is putting pieces back together to make something meaningful –”Hello, Goodbye” newest book –Rituals for endings and beginnings –Ritual doesn't lead to answers or solutions –Handing over dream of having a child to friends through ritual –Understanding comings and goings from nervous system perspective –Unacknowledgement of threshold experiences in culture –Unwillingness to slow down and reflect especially in difficult experiences –Rituals help us reorient to what is new and changing –Marking endings and witnessing to new beginnings –Crucial aspect of being witnessed and held during threshold experiences –Ritual allowing expression of feeling and witnessing from others –Loss of ritual in culture, ancestry, and families –”Hello, Goodbye” is a cookbook to awaken capacity to make ritual   Resources Website: https://www.morningaltars.com/ IG: @morningaltars

    EP 156: Jaguar Alumni Stories - Jessika & Joanna

    Play Episode Listen Later May 1, 2022 14:39


    In this testimonial episode, Jaguar course alumni Jessika and Joanna share about their experiences of being part of the Jaguar community. These testimonies speak beautifully to the type of experience you might find in the upcoming 4 week course “Jaguars Uncaged – The Anatomy of Feminine Spirituality". Learn more here.

    EP 155: Jaguar Alumni Story - Kaisa Tuominen

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 29, 2022 14:56


    In this testimonial episode, Jaguar course alumni Kaisa speaks about how growing her knowledge and felt sense experience of the nervous sytem has affected her life, healing, and lens of the world. As Kimberly and her team prepare for the next round of Jaguar, this testimony speaks beautifully to the type of experience you might find in the upcoming 4 week course "Jaguars Uncaged – The Anatomy of Feminine Spirituality". Learn more here.

    EP 154: Jaguar Alumni Story - Michelle David

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 28, 2022 18:50


    In this testimonial episode, Jaguar course alumni Michelle speaks about how the Jaguar work and community have supported her journey of healing trauma and widening her capacity to actively and presently engage with life. As Kimberly and her team prepare for the next round of Jaguar, this testimony speaks beautifully to the type of experience you might find in the upcoming 4 week course "Jaguars Uncaged – The Anatomy of Feminine Spirituality". Learn more here.  

    EP 153: Writing, Shame & Sex with Melissa Febos, author of "Girlhood" & "Body Work"

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 26, 2022 51:23


    In this episode, Kimberly and Melissa discuss Melissa's several books, including "Girlhood" and "Body Work". They discuss writing personal experiences and its impact on close relationships, as well as mother/daughter dynamics, writing as a medium for processing shame and trauma, and cultural responses to women's stories of coming of age, consent, trauma, sex work, and more.    Bio Melissa Febos is an author and an assistant professor at the University of Iowa, Nonfiction writing program. She is author of four books, including the nationally bestselling essay collection, “GIRLHOOD,” which is a LAMBDA Literary Award finalist and won the National Book Critics Circle Award in criticism. “GIRLHOOD” was named a notable book of 2021 by NPR, Time, The Washington Post, and others. Her craft book, “BODY WORK” (2022), was also a national bestseller and an Indie Next Pick. What She Shares: –Experiences writing books about self, sex, and traumas –Family responses to writing –Cultural responses to stories of sex, shame, etc. –Writing as part of reparative process –Newest book Body Work   What You'll Hear: –Power of story-telling –Openness of media and culture for book like Girlhood –Bringing topics of sex and affirmative consent on national television –Experiences of stalker and associated traumas –Doing the difficult work for self and relationships –Experience of cuddle parties and consent –Awareness and consent as a life's work –Process of writing and remembering –Love and tenderness for past selves –Mother's experience of reading book about harm and adolescence –Complexities of trauma for girls, women, and mothers –Difficulties of traumatic experiences for mothers and daughters –Mothers' experiences knowing details of daughters' trauma –Process of writing narrative fueling healing with privacy before publishing –Taking time necessary for writing –Victim-blaming regarding sexual assault –Quick to suppress personal desires in relation to others' –Conflicts in female friendships building resiliency and love –Social conditioning for girls to please others over selves –Bodies, aspirations, talents as an “affront to femininity” –Experience becoming a sex worker –Internal conflicts due to second-wave feminism –Feeling safe exploring parts of sexual self through dominatrix work –Backlash from community after publishing experience in sex work –New book Body Work   Resources Website: https://www.melissafebos.com/ IG: @melissafebos 

    EP 152: Fascia, Human Anatomy, Reverence, and Understanding the Body's Tissues with Gil Hedley

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 20, 2022 72:56


    In this episode, Kimberly and Gil discuss human anatomy and Gil's years of dissection projects and publications. Gil offers a wealth of information he has learned about the body through his dissection work and how his reverence for the human form fuels his projects. Specifically, they discuss various aspects of fascia, nerve trees, adipose tissue, and more, as well as how culture both politicizes the body and dispossesses various aspects of it, perhaps leading to a larger spiritual issue and evolution of our time.   Bio Gil Hedley, Ph.D., earned a doctorate in theological ethics from the Divinity School of the University of Chicago, and also became a Certified Rolfer at the Rolf Institute in Boulder, CO. His combined interests and training has supported his personal exploration of the human body to develop an integral approach to the study of human anatomy. Through hands-on human dissections courses in the laboratory and lecture presentations, he has encouraged thousands of fellow "somanauts" to appreciate, explore and embody the wonders of human form. He has published a number of books, created online access through livestream courses to the wonders of the dissection process, and produced The Integral Anatomy Series, a set of four feature-length videos documenting my whole body, layer-by-layer approach through on-camera dissection. His current project, Anatomy from A to Z, is a comprehensive and inspiring year-long exploration of two forms through the Integral Anatomy lens. What He Shares: –Dissection and anatomy projects –Complexities of nerves and fascia –Differences between male and female forms –Difference between natural tears and incisions –Spiritual components of dissection work –Dispossession and politicization of the body in culture   What You'll Hear: –Explains Anatomy from A-Z Project –Comprehensive archive of human body recorded –Dissected bones, muscles, tissues, and vasculature on camera –Shares experience dissecting cadaver –Traumatic experience over dissection work and had to adjust emotionally –Intentionally making body connection through dissection work –Connection with families of donors of bodies for project –Learned accidents, traumas, various issues, and emotional experience regarding donors –Nerves are structural, have physical context (not abstract) –”Underdog fascia” and multilayered fascia –Native connective tissue density –IT band structures –Emotional components associated with superficial fascia –Female form has denser, deep fascia and thicker, superficial fascia generally –Dispossession of fat as suppression of feminine in our culture –Culture has problematized and medicalized birth disrupting the process –Traumatized doctors try to control birth to avoid ongoing trauma related to death –Psychological pall thrown over women give impression not capable of birthing –Tears in birth assist with natural process –Episiotomies damage nerves in ways that natural tears do not –Increase in tears and severity in connection with culture –Oversimplification of tissues and meanings such as vagus nerve –How he came to dissect genitals –Took years of dissecting to find erectile tissues of clitoris –Wants to film nerve system dissection, process important –Vaginal work with reverence –From PTSD to helping others process anatomy work –Group processing and shared experiences assisting in dissection work –Energetic relationship to forms –Experiencing the whole form –Self-acceptance and rejection of cultural standards –Politicization of bodies and spiritual problem in identity politics   Resources Website: gilhedley.com

    EP 151: Jaguar Testimonial with Kyra Lehman

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 4, 2022 18:50


    In this testimonial episode, Jaguar course alumni Kyra Lehman speaks about her experience as a dancer, mother, filmmaker and with disability. As Kimberly and her team prepare for the next round of the course, this testimony speaks beautifully to the type of experience you might find in the upcoming Activate Your Inner Jaguar course.

    testimonials jaguar lehman activate your inner jaguar
    EP 150: Navigating Difficulties & Maintaining Connection in Partnerships After Children with Kara Hoppe & Stan Tatkin

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 27, 2022 61:26


    In this episode, Stan, and Kara discuss their new co-authored book “Baby Bomb: A Relationship Survival Guide for New Parents.” Many couples experience new challenges in their relationship after the birth of a new baby and need tools and support for navigating these common issues. They discuss “primitives” and “ambassadors” as terms for people in relationship, maintaining presence and attention during sex, and the importance of committing to shared values as a relationship buoy during the postpartum period where both parents, and especially the birthing partner, are pushed to new edges.    Bio Dr. Stan and Kara Hoppe, M.A. co-authored Baby Bomb: A Relationship Survival Guide for New Parents. Baby Bomb is based on the premise that successful partnering is the first step for couples to become successful parents. Kara Hoppe has an M.A. in Clinical psychology, and is a feminist, mother, and teacher. Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT is a teacher, clinician, researcher, and developer of the Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy® (PACT). Stan has written dozens of academic articles and six bestselling books. What They Share  --Primitives vs. Ambassadors in relationships --Managing stress during the postpartum period --Nurturing relationship while nurturing baby --Sexual re-negotiations postpartum --Witnessing and tending to after a new baby   What You'll Hear --How a baby changes a relationship and maintaining it --”Primitives” run show when stress is present and operate on more primitive instincts --What keeps us behaving properly is a shared idea of why we do what we do --Tendencies under stress to act and react automatically instead of pausing and reflecting --Pro-self vs. pro-relationship --Primitive as lower-brain functions and ambassadors as part of brain that correct errors, predict, plan, mediate impulses and emotion --Helping couples create shared space where both people can be themselves with safety and security --Both partners push and agree to limits and boundaries --Acknowledging and starting dialogue when one is feeling neglected or disconnected --Nurturing couple relationships as priority along with parenting --Using inclusive language to mitigate difficult conversations in relationship --Stress and transition of new child on relationship --Working preventatively on relationships --Any physical contact is meaningful for a stressed relationship postpartum --Sex renegotiations in relationship after a child --Presence, attention, curiosity with the partner enhances love-making and relationship satisfaction --Grieving process of loss of two-person couplehood versus becoming parents --Readjust to reality of emotions, body, libido changing after a baby --Witnessing individual and partner developmental changes as one would with the baby --Libido as life force energy and emotional energy --Libidinal energy is a concern for parenting and in partnerships --First 18 months of development critical and consistent contact for right-brain --Equality can't mean sameness in postpartum; Birthing person needs more care postpartum --Partner offering care, comfort, and resources to birthing partner --Being okay with feeling vulnerable and being needy postpartum --Biologically mother regulates baby and partner regulates mother --Pair-bond to raise baby together with both parents --Attachment orientation differences in couples therapy --Gender stereotypes in sexual desire and couples therapy --”Bids” in postpartum where one seeks out connection from partner  --Purpose over feeling and principles that protect us from whimsy of our feelings --Importance of humility and acknowledging wrong-doing in partnerships and families --Relationships as practice   Resources Website: https://www.karahoppe.com/baby-bomb-book IG: @karahoppe @drstantatkin

    EP 149: The Gut/Brain Connection and Regenerative Nutrition for Women's Health with Kate Pope

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 22, 2022 44:16


    In this episode, Kimberly and Kate discuss regenerative cooking, the GAPS (Gut And Psychological/Physiological Syndrome) diet, and healing through building and regenerative foods. Kate explains the origin of the GAPS diet and its impact on children with autism, as well as what foods the GAPS diet uses, They also discuss how regenerative cooking is important for vaginal health and other women's health issues and experiences, ancestral lineages of meat and plant nutrition, and how to introduce probiotic foods into your diet. Kate is teaching a free upcoming class as well as offering a new course starting in March.   Bio Kate Pope is a Functional Nutritional Therapy Practitioner and founder of Regenerative Cooking School. Regenerative Cooking School teaches people the foundations of therapeutic cooking providing recipes, cooking instructions, 1:1 sessions, group coaching, and classes. The GAPS Diet, or GAPS Nutritional Protocol rebuilds a damaged gut using animal fats and proteins, homemade probiotic foods, seasonal fruits and vegetables, nourishing liquids and a variety of lifestyle-based detoxification methods so that you can heal the root cause of your disease. What They Share  –What the GAPS diet is –How to implement GAPS diet –Women's health and the gut –Kate's upcoming cooking class   What You'll Hear –GAPS protocol –GAPS syndrome address Gut AND Psychology/Physiology Syndrome –Use food to rebuild gut lining, homemade fermented foods to rebalance microflora in gut –Microbiome working healthily improved cognition in children with autism –Different approaches to implementing diet for children (cold turkey & gradual) –Women's health issues –Autoimmune problems, bacterial overgrowth, vaginal issues, etc. –Vaginal infections related to gut microbiome –Antibiotics wipe out beneficial flora and create environment for candida  –Important to use probiotic foods when taking antibiotics –Candida (yeast) needs to be consumed to balance microbiome of vagina and gut –Elimination diets vs. rebuilding through GAPS protocol –Meat stock, organ meats, egg yolks, etc. to repair gut lining with homemade probiotic foods –GAPS timeline should be 3 months to 2 years to implement consistently –Sourcing locally and knowing farmer's feeding –Ethical concerns around eating meat –Vegan diets never existed ancestrally  –Closer to equator lineages tend to eat more plants –Can source meat ethically  –Building foods (meat and meat products) vs. cleansing foods (plants) –Kate shares feeling sad and connecting to diet –Eating raw egg yolks (yogurt, kefir, raw milk) –Kate eats half cup of fat a day, 6-8 egg yolks, 32 oz kefir, ghee –GAPS diet slow and steady bringing in powerful, healing foods –Slowly introducing probiotics and probiotic food depending on how one reacts individually –Introduce new foods slowly for 5 days then introduce more –Kate's offerings Resources Website: www.regenerativecookingschool.com IG: @thewildnutritionist

    EP 148: Stillness Practices for Courage in Times of Change with Octavia Raheem

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 1, 2022 38:03


    Summary In this episode, Kimberly and Octavia discuss Octavia's upcoming book “Pause, Rest, Be: Stillness Practices for Courage During Times of Change.” Octavia describes her relationship to rest, stillness, and restoration, and the circumstances in her life that led her to honoring the importance of rest. They discuss how many of us assume fast-paced lives and are often confronted with our own challenges around rest during early postpartum. They also discuss how meaningful rest is deeply restorative and invites us to understand our most authentic selves.   Bio Octavia Raheem is an author, yoga teacher, and proud mother and wife. She has received national attention for her work training yoga teachers and diversifying the yoga industry and has been featured in Yoga Journal, Mantra Magazine, and more. She is the author of “Gather” and her upcoming book “Pause Rest Be: Stillness Practices for Courage During Times of Change.” She is committed to being well-rested and free. What She Shares: –Importance of modeling rest for family –What meaningful rest is –How Octavia developed relationship to rest –How upcoming book discusses prioritizing rest during pandemic   What You'll Hear: –Being mothers, authors, running businesses –Describes modeling rest practices for son and family –Rest is fuel –Restorative practices –Living with the pause –Learned importance of taking better care of self through motherhood –Finding rest during the never-ending “to do” list –Former public school teacher, Cross-Fitter, power yoga practitioner, yoga teacher –Describes experiencing condition and hospitalization from overworking, dehydration, and overworking muscles –Describes worrying in hospital over working and responsibilities –Nurse introduced her to rest, stillness, and pausing –Devotion to rest was conceived in the hospital –How postpartum experience forces us to slow down and question our relationship to rest –Rest as a lover –Discovering authentic self in a place asking nothing from me –Simple rest practice: sit for one minute, notice, and feel –Book describes rest situated during pandemic –Reading of excerpt from upcoming book –An invitation into the pause –Power of transmission through words to rest and pause –Accessing rest in a plethora of ways –Describes beginning book about “endings,” writing in June 2020 –Endings always before beginnings and becoming –Collective and communal honorings of endings   Resources Website: https://octaviaraheem.com/ IG: @octaviaraheem

    EP 147: Shame, Desire + Motherhood in "The Lost Daughter" with Bethany Saltman

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 18, 2022 63:40


    Summary In this episode, Kimberly and Bethany discuss “The Lost Daughter” (2021) which follows Leda (Olivia Colman), a middle-aged woman on holiday in Greece as she recalls her experiences as a wife, professor, and mother. The film has received much critical and popular attention, but particularly caught the attention of Bethany Saltman, researcher of attachment, for its complex and nuanced perspective into Leda's experience as a mother. Together, Kimberly and Bethany analyze the film from their backgrounds in attachment, somatic experiencing, and nervous system perspectives. Bethany and Kimberly discuss the film on a live Zoom call.   Bio Bethany Saltman is a longtime researcher, writer, Zen student, and author of “Strange Situation: A Mother's Journey into the Science of Attachment,” a book that explains the research and theories behind attachment in addition to describing Bethany's own complex relationship with parenting. Additionally, “The Lost Daughter,” directed by Maggie Gyllenhall, is the visual adaptation of the novel written by Elena Ferrante, premiered on Netflix on December 31, 2021 with Olivia Colman, Dakota Johnson, Ed Harris, and more. What She Shares: –Why Bethany and Kimberly wanted to discuss the film –How the film portrays motherhood and humanness in its complexity  –Conflict, messiness, and resisting binaries in womanhood and motherhood –Symbolism of various aspects of the film   What You'll Hear: –Bethany's background and interest in the film –Split between staying connected to self and child –Desire and motherhood –How film relates to human experience –Physicalness of motherhood portrayed in the film –Leda and young mother's fascination with each other –Physical differences between younger Leda and older Leda –Who is the lost daughter? –Differences between fathers and mothers leaving children –What makes us feel found versus lost? –Why Leda takes the doll –All characters searching to be found –Containment of feeling found –Pendulum between lost and found/attached and contained –Doll as a compulsion, wish fulfillment, trying to go deep into meanness –Crippled by shame causing a dorsal reflex –Layering of sexuality between Leda and Nina –Symbolism of the snake, doll, and worm –Generational attachment is unbreakable (despite pain, trauma, etc) –Ending of Leda being dead or alive –What makes Leda “alive, actually” –Daughter calling Leda after bad haircut demonstrates attachment –Resisting cultural urge to label Leda as good/bad –Village-mindedness versus isolated parenting –Trauma within the film, flashbacks within films as constricting –Trauma as a catch-all for stress, meaningful experiences, etc. –Puritanical demand for everything to be good and if not it is traumatic/wrong –Leaving space for messiness, complexity, contradictions, and ambivalence in human experience –Leda not as a traumatized human, just as a human –Trauma narrative has become another cliche or attempt to understand difficulty and complexity –Assumptions of lack of resilience in cultural understandings   Resources Website: bethanysaltman.com IG: @bethany_saltman

    EP 146: Vocalizing, Breathing, and Finding Your Authentic Voice with Marisa Michelson

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 14, 2022 71:40


    Summary In this episode Kimberly and Marisa discuss vocalizing, breathing, and various similarities between singing and somatics. Marisa shares her evolution as a singer and how somatics, embodiment, and understanding her nervous system was fundamental to embracing her natural sound. They also describe how they began working with each other, how creating sound is an embodied practice, and various ways to create our own authentic sound both mechanically and metaphorically.   Bio Marisa Michelson is a composer, vocal coach and accomplished award winner at the nexus of theatre, experimental music, opera, new music, and improvisation. She is the Director and Founder of Constellation Chor, has taught various renowned workshops, earned her B.F.A. from NYU in Musical Theater, and is a former yoga instructor. Marisa is currently working on her upcoming book “Free: The Embodied Metaphysics of Singing” as well as various workshops that combine vocalizing and nervous system healing.    What She Shares: –Her background in singing and performing –Similarities between singing and somatic experiencing –Bodily mechanics and spiritual metaphors of vocalizing –Voice pitch and gender/authority  –How our sounds are ancestral   What You'll Hear: –Language similarities between somatic experiencing, embodiment, and vocalizing/singing –Kimberly and Marisa discuss their lessons together –Background in singing, music, and theatre –Coming home to self before performing as a break from tradition in singing/performing –Singing as a genuine way of connecting with self and embodied practice –Paradigm shift while working with singers and composing music after new embodied practice –Founding and codifying music and somatics –Differences in voice pitch in relation to gender and authority –Bodily experience of owning and accepting one's own voice –Practice of valuing what comes out authentically and is internal not changing for external –Various breathing practices prioritize particular ways to breathe but depends on flexibility and context –Having presence and self-awareness with whatever emotions come in singing, speaking, living –Element of control in breathing doesn't allow free relationship to own voice and sound –Authentic expression –Practice “letting go” of breath instead of controlling –Infinite ways for diaphragm to move with sound –Touch and gentle tapping in breath-work for more subtle movement of diaphragm –Magic in the letting go and surrendering of breath and less of controlling in big inhaling of the breath –Existing in a gentler space through breath –Ancestral sounds and imitation versus authenticity –Lack of ritual and ceremony in community in hyper-individualistic culture –Bringing attention to the body and honoring the body –Infinite human sounds existing in our bodies –Our bodies and sounds are ancestral –Artists Marisa enjoys –Music genres as cultures –Upcoming classes and workshops on voice and nervous system   Resources Website: https://www.marisamichelsonvocalstudio.com/

    EP 145: Birth, Trauma, Breastfeeding, and Mother's Mental Health with Kathleen Kendall-Tackett

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 2, 2021 64:33


    In this episode, Kimberly and Kathleen discuss connections between birth, trauma, and breastfeeding. As a researcher and writer on these subjects, Kathleen describes much of her research that centers around birth-related trauma, how trauma affects breastfeeding, as well as secondary trauma experienced by providers and birth workers. They discuss the importance of oxytocin as an antidote to stress, particularly during the early postpartum period. In addition, they discuss how many mothers, care providers, and birth workers experience secondary trauma within labor and delivery units and the importance of more substantial support and postpartum care for mothers.   Bio Dr. Kendall-Tackett is a health psychologist and International Board Certified Lactation Consultant, and the Owner and Editor-in-Chief of Praeclarus Press, a small press specializing in women's health. Dr. Kendall-Tackett is Editor-in-Chief of the journal, Psychological Trauma and was Founding Editor-in-Chief of Clinical Lactation. She is Fellow of the American Psychological Association in Health and Trauma Psychology, Past President of the APA Division of Trauma Psychology, and the chair-elect of APA's Publications and Communications Board. Dr. Kendall-Tackett specializes in women's-health research including breastfeeding, depression, trauma, and health psychology, and has won many awards for her work including the 2019 President's Award for Outstanding Contributions to the Field of Trauma Psychology from the American Psychological Association. Dr. Kendall-Tackett has authored more than 470 articles or chapters and is author or editor of 40 books.   What She Shares: --Breastfeeding after trauma --Need for more adequate breastfeeding and postpartum care and support --Increasing oxytocin amidst stress and trauma --Mothers' mental health --Secondary trauma experienced by providers and professionals --Plans and hope for future generations in birth, postpartum, and breastfeeding support   What You'll Hear: --Connections between trauma and breastfeeding --Birth trauma impacts two key hormones in breastfeeding --Important to honor mother's wishes around breastfeeding --Seeing trauma as opportunity for extra breastfeeding support instead of limiting it --Being careful not to put negative expectations on breastfeeding after trauma --In 80s started identifying birth trauma as factor of postpartum depression --Trauma and context when identifying women's mental health --Uptick in preterm births related to anxiety, stress, and depression --Fish oil/DHA in reducing risk of preterm birth --Three part stress system: Hypothalamus, Pituitary, Adrenal glands --Inflammatory response system also connected to mental health and preterm birth --Oxytocin as a stress fighter which is why breastfeeding is beneficial for mother --Supporting women's decisions and goals for breastfeeding --Tending to our bodies to feel hormonal surges and differences of baby/partner touch --Understaffed lactation consultants in hospital causing lack of support --Study shows epidurals related to lower rates of exclusively breastfeeding --Study of epidurals related to more depression despite other common factors --Postpartum hemorrhage, postpartum surgery, and epidurals all linked to postpartum depression --Needs to be competency checking in with women postpartum much earlier around breastfeeding and mental health --Lack of adequate pelvic floor health --Secondary trauma happens to providers when witnessing trauma --Secondary trauma vs. professional burn-out --Obstetricians and nurse midwives secondary trauma almost always associated with baby --Labor and Delivery nurses note when providers do something or cause unnecessary harm to mothers and babies --”Moral injury” occurs when forced to participate or witnessed something you knew what wrong --”Acts of omission” (failing to stop harm) causing secondary trauma with birth practitioners --Nurses and doulas reporting witnessing harm done they wish they stopped but couldn't --25-35% rates of secondary trauma in providers in US compared to other countries --Sanctuary trauma and institutional betrayal trauma to victims of trauma --Getting used to low-level, chronic stress and effects postpartum --Oxytocin to repair trauma --Oxytocin builders: touching a pet, infant massage, skin to skin on chest, being warm, warm bath, wanted touch, positive social interaction, etc. --Bigger goal of breastfeeding is connecting mother with baby --Importance of supporting mental health of providers --Care-providers knowing where they're vulnerable to avoid secondary trauma --Positive ways to turn off hyper-active stress responses (omega 3s, exercise, cognitive therapy and mindfulness) --Hope for moving forward in repairing traumas and systems and reclamation of birth and postpartum --Early intervention as hope against spiraling from trauma and mental illness   Resources Website: https://www.kathleenkendall-tackett.com/ Book: https://stores.praeclaruspress.com/breastfeeding-doesnt-need-to-suck-how-to-nurture-your-baby-and-your-mental-health-by-kathleen-kendall-tackett/?showHidden=true

    EP 144: Blow Your House Down - A Story of Family, Feminism, and Treason with Gina Frangello

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 4, 2021 55:29


    In this episode, Kimberly and Gina discuss Gina's latest book, a memoir titled Blow Your House Down. Gina shares the emotions she experienced while writing a book that explores her experiences of caregiving to her parents, becoming a mother to three children, having an extra-marital affair, surviving breast cancer, and more. In this conversation, Kimberly and Gina unpack how these common stories are unfavorably received in society but also how our painful stories offer a sense of community and understanding. They also discuss various common experiences of women that are culturally taboo such as anger, eroticism, illness, and affairs and the importance of sharing our stories.   Bio Gina Frangello recently released her first memoir Burn Your House Down: A Story of Family, Feminism and Treason to critical acclaim after years of fiction- Every Kind of Wanting, A Life in Men, Slut Lullabies, and My Sister's Continent-- short fiction, essays, book reviews, and journalism have been published in Ploughshares, The Boston Globe, Chicago Tribune, HuffPost, Fence, Five Chapters, Prairie Schooner, Chicago Reader, and many other publications. She recently founded Circe Consulting, teaches editing and writing, and lives with her family in the Chicago area.   What She Shares: --Divorce, death of parents, cancer diagnosis, extra-marital affair --Writing as both re-traumatizing and healing --Women's anger as culturally taboo  --Themes of marriage, motherhood, caretaking, and illness --Stories of eroticism for all women not just young    What You'll Hear: --Describes “The Story of A” --Leaving marriage, father died, diagnosed with breast cancer, having an extra-marital affair --Discusses different literary techniques used to tell life's story --Describes giving herself permission to be vulnerable in memoir --Complexity of being both victim and having agency --Author's choice of only including family members as stories intersect with hers --Discusses experience of writing about hardest moments in her life --Trained as a therapist --Experienced catharsis and emotional impact after readers' feedback about memoir --The “I” as a lens that opens out to more than just writer's story --Book as hybrid of memoir and cultural criticism --Historical look at condition of women in a larger sense --Motherhood and sexuality --Women demonized for anger throughout history --Focus on full range of emotions (anger, fear, compassion, love, desire, etc.) --Anger as a viable emotion part of human experience --Anger overly normalized in men and overly demonized in women --Moving beyond reductive casualties or binaries of good/bad --Reality is more complicated than cultural systems accept --Our choices are often driven by more than just good/bad and are complex --Discusses experience in affair, divorce, and marrying again --Describes story wouldn't have been different if she did not marry man who had an affair with --Pushes back against critiques of story as reinforcing heteronormative marraige norms, redemption after an affair --Resists a “clean reduction of a woman” amidst messiness of life --Different possible outcomes at different stages of her story --Resists fairytale-esque assumptions about her life --Discusses care-taking of mentally ill parent, being a partner to someone with mental health issues, growing up in poverty and around violence, a woman's experience with medical industrial complex --Overlaps of being a woman, mother, wife, lover, daughter, friend, etc. --Explosion of acceptability of writing sexuality by younger women in literary world --Older women not as acceptable to discuss sexuality or bodies of women who are mothers --Importance of including eroticism of older women, disabled women, mothers, etc. --Fetishization of younger women's sexuality and consequences Resources Website: https://www.ginafrangello.org/ www.circeconsulting.net IG: @ginafrangello

    EP 143: Jaguar Round Table

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 14, 2021 73:04


    In this round table episode, three Jaguar course alumni speak about their unique experiences participating in this deep and transformative course. As Kimberly and her team prepare for the next round of the course, these testimonies speak beautifully to the type of experience you might find in the upcoming: Jaguar Wholeness in Fractured Times: A Real World Understanding of the Nervous System and Feminine Sexuality.

    EP 142: Yoga, Power and Fundamentalism - Finding Humility and Balance with Richard Freeman

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 10, 2021 72:56


    In this episode, Kimberly and Richard discuss yoga, spiritual teachings, finding balance within, honoring lineages and history, and community-focused practices versus individualized ones. They discuss the impact of the pandemic on various communities such as the yoga community, acknowledging our shadow selves, and turning our individual yoga and spiritual practices to tangible ways to support and better communities and our world. This episode is rich with Richard's wisdom and understandings of various yogic, Hindu, and Buddhist teachings and principles, his experiences traveling and learning about these lineages, and philosophies for balancing our inner and outer selves to ultimately benefit others.   Bio Richard Freeman has been practicing yoga since 1968. He has taught yoga and trained yogas all over the world. His work joins together a vast array of teachings and perspectives, in keeping with the richness of this ancient tradition. You can find more information on Richard's teachings on his website.   What He Shares:  --Impact of pandemic --Fracturing in yoga communities --Acknowledging and finding balance between our shadow and light selves --Understanding histories and lineages in ancient traditions and practices --Teacher/student power-issues in yoga --Contributing to social good through individual practice   What You'll Hear: --Fracturing in yoga community over pandemic --Predispositions toward polarity and fundamentalism --Opposing groups coming together over common enemy --Dealing with unknown and uncomfortable not knowing regarding pandemic --Finding common ground when understand the “other” --Pratipaksha the other wing, bhavana (contemplate the other wing) --Different obstacles where one wing is associated with heavy emotions and cause suffering, contemplate opposite wing of emotion --Practice which visualizes the other in order to cultivate empathy and understanding --Applicable for serious and miniscule problems --Mind slips anything into ego-centered --Not hurting others or yourself --Shadow sides can be projected out or not recognized within oneself --Acknowledging not suppressing shadow potential of own minds --Many yoga/spiritual practices avoid this intellectual honesty --Feel negative emotions in context with other social support to hold and observe --Embody it in a way that doesn't destroy you or others --Discerning intuition, multiple realities, and fundamentalism --Being open to feedback --Balancing and feeling the middle path physically and intellectually --Experimenting physical practice with intellectual/interior life --Impact of social media on brain/mind/energetic system overall --Some social media beneficial in yoga world  --Ego/mind are creative and can be used for good or destruction --Social media fast-paced, scary, and mind-blowing --Done in context of ancient historical traditions of insight done slowly over thousands of years --Benefits of social media for community --Convenience and pace of convenience are part of issues regarding community, climate, etc. --Describes time in India through Middle East and Europe during 1970s --Similarities in people of different religions and traditions --Importance of understanding history in religious traditions around the world --Appropriation versus appreciation through understanding history, honoring lineage, and humility --Dynamic of teacher/student relationship in yoga --Discerning teachers, practices, and other aspects of yoga within commodification --Finding the true Teacher (Beloved) in the heart --Many teachers are attracted to power of being the expert --Good teacher encourages you to stay open minded --Epidemic of problem teachers in yoga and spiritual traditions --Hindu teachings on discernment principles --Two-wing image, supportive of each-other, because of intelligence as one --Patterns of immediate sensation giving birth to story lines and labels --Under-pinnings of practice individual work not necessarily impacting the collective --Practicing for self-improvement or for community improvement --Conceding comfort for tangible benefit of other people --Individual practice branching out to ever-expanding environments --Chant together    Resources Website: https://www.richardfreemanyoga.com/

    EP 141: Getting to Zero - Resolving Conflict and Practicing Vulnerability in Relationships with Jayson Gaddis

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 3, 2021 53:47


    In this episode, Kimberly and Jayson discuss solving relationship conflict through tools and practices Jayson has developed through his work. They talk about healthy relationships maintaining a comfortable baseline where all issues are addressed and resolved. Jayson describes practical ways that include listening, validating, and taking ownership of issues as skills to create long-lasting and satisfying relationships both romantic and platonic, as well as the difference between healthy relationships and codependent ones. Through using the skills Jayson describes, we can shift culture in how we relate to and validate each other.   Bio Jayson Gaddis is a relationship expert, coach, founder of the Relationship School, host of The Relationship School podcast, has an M.A. in psychology, and is a dad of two. His work includes effective coaching and provides practical tools and skills that everyone can use to impact their relationships. Jayson's new book “Getting to Zero” can be pre-ordered through his website linked below.   What They Share  --Finding a partner willing to grow and be mutually invested --Healthy versus codependent relationships --Tools for solving heated conflicts from “Getting to Zero” --Addressing uncomfortable conversations   What You'll Hear --Monogamy as a spiritual path for personal growth --Ask what you believe you're wired for (one intimate partner or more) --Stereotypes of non-commital hetero men --Identify who you are and what you really want deeply --Two types of people (willing and unwilling) --Willingness is a spectrum, identify a willing person --Usually pain inspires movement and growth --Misinterpreting others' attachment styles causes conflict --Two willing people understand attachment styles of other as a journey --Codependency doesn't have mutual exchange --Healthy attachment is mutual effort and engagement --Many relationships have codependent element where only one person does emotional labor --New book “Getting To Zero” highlights method of working and repairing through conflict in relationship --Failed attempts of conflict resolution dealt with quick apologies and time without meaningful repair --Creating a clear, clean vibe within relationship leaving nothing unaddressed --Created School and goes into schools to work with adolescents in relational literacy --LUFU (Listening to the other Until you Feel Understood) --Validate partner's feelings, claim ownership in partner's issue --”That makes sense” as a validating response --One at a time, most resourced person listens first, if partner feels heard --Conflict resolution is a practice which takes time and effort --Need to relearn how to listen and speak to others while under stress --Nester-meditation (Number, Emotion, Sensation, Thought, Resource) during stress --Discomfort threshold and being okay with discomfort, shame, guilt, anger, etc. --Overly bearing emotional work for relationship undermines partner's growth and enables them to stay stuck --Resentment signals going past responsibility in emotional work of relationship --Community to help us see our patterns --Identify healthy discomfort versus unhealthy discomfort --Understanding inner conflict and outer conflict and how they impact each other --Knowing when to bring up unresolved issues with friends and romantic relationships --High-stakes relationships with mutual investment needs truth-telling --Lead with vulnerability in difficult conversations --Becoming a competent relational leader with time and practice to handle adversity and discomfort --”Stand for three” (self, partner, and relationship) necessary for lasting relationships   Resources Website: jaysongaddis.com IG: @therelationshipschool 

    EP 140: Bullshit, Lying, and the Truth with John V. Petrocelli

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 30, 2021 73:24


    In this episode, Kimberly and John discuss his newest book “The Life-Changing Science of Detecting Bullshit” which explains the differences between bullshitting, lying, and deciphering the truth. John explains many different facets of how humans are susceptible to bullshit and lying, especially from someone close or familiar to us, as well as how to have a productive conversation with someone who makes biased claims posing as truth.    Bio John V. Petrocelli is an experimental social psychologist and Professor of Psychology at Wake Forest University. His research examines the causes and consequences of BS and BSing in the way of better understanding and improving BS detection and disposal. Petrocelli's research contributions also include attitudes and persuasion and the intersections of counterfactual thinking with learning, memory and decision making. His research has appeared in the top journals of his field including the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. Petrocelli also serves an Associate Editor of Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin.   What He Shares: —Difference between bullshitting and lying —How cross-field research is most credible —Questions to ask when someone makes a claim —Humility in seeking the truth —Seeking truth amid echo chambers and polarization    What You'll Hear: —Difference between bullshit and lying —Liar interested in truth in order to tell a successful lie —BSer doesn't care about truth, could state truth but BSer wouldn't know it —Liar doesn't believe what they're communicating and knows they're lying —BSer does believe in what they say —We assume BS has no harm or effects and that we cant detect it (false) --Those most confident in detecting BS are most duped by it (research shows) —Those who have strongest beliefs about something can be often most clueless about the evidence & truth --Research behind MMR vaccine and debunked link to autism —Cross-discipline agreements trend as most credible —Confirmation bias is only caring about what appears to be evidence or explanation that confirms our pre-existing beliefs or hypothesis —Preferences va attitudes —Own personal/professional experiences inform our beliefs —Data collection regarding experiences is messy and random --Information we get from personal and professional experience is often counterintuitive and not necessarily data we want to count —When people obtain good information, research shows tends to suggest people are pretty reasonable in inferences they make from information presented —-Major problem treating anecdotal, small data points of interest as much weight as we would give data on a mass scale —How do we know when something is credible? How do we tell inside of ourselves? How do we tell outside of ourselves? —Data shows only need to hear BS one time, mind tends to signal truth i —Mind signals truth is felt familiar (heard before) easily confuse familiarity with truth —Interpersonal BS (people we care about, communicate with frequently) is most potent --People we don't communicate with is somewhat potent —Who are they? What do they know? How do they know that claim? What is their agenda? —Calling BS and being challenged on our beliefs is rare to occur especially when it's easy to be locked into our echo chambers —Living in era where vehicles for expression, making recordings and content leads us exposed to many things an equalizer and messiness of truth and reality —Cultural ideas coming to forefront of there is no truth, everything is relative —“Gullability” (when are cues that suggest person isn't interested in truth) —We feel obligated to have opinions on things at an expanded magnitude from previous times —Passively receiving information vs. actively sorting through information for truth —BSers use abstract explanations/heady values and reasons and less hardcore genuine evidence —HOW do you know this is true? HOW do you think this claim might be wrong? —Listening and communicating to win or prove we're right doesn't get us as far  —Having intellectual humility  —Tribalism we see today resembles cults —Spade for other ways of knowing, mystery, and magic —What can't be studied or measured (“love”)   Resources Website: https://psychology.wfu.edu/about-the-department/faculty-and-staff/john-petrocelli/

    EP 139: Attachment Theory, Interdependence, and Rewiring from Threat to Love with Dr. Stan Tatkin

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 24, 2021 54:21


    In this episode, Kimberly and Stan discuss attachment theory, styles of learned attachment, and ways to maintain healthy relationships. They discuss attachment theory regarding parent-child relationships as well as romantic partners, differences between codependence and interdependent relationships, and how to work towards mutually beneficial relationships even during conflict. Tatkin believes that with proper understanding and/or coaching, all humans can sustain loving and beneficial relationships despite conflict.   Bio Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT, is a clinician, researcher, teacher, and developer of A Psychobiological Approach to Couple Therapy®. Tatkin has written many books based on his attachment and relationship work such as Wired for Love and most recently Baby Bomb. Tatkin created the PACT Institute in 2010 with his wife, Tracey Boldemann-Tatkin, PhD, to train mental health professionals to think and work through a psychobiological lens in their clinical practice.   What He Shares:  --Definition of Attachment theory --Attachment styles (Islands, Waves, and Anchors) --Co-Dependence vs. Interdependence --Single and step parenting --Handling conflict   What You'll Hear: --Attachment theory is felt sense of safety and security of infant and primary caregiver --Secure and insecure reactions of infant, child, adult --Island, Wave, and Anchors as learned attachment behaviors --Island preoccupied with independence and autonomy --Wave encouraged to stay dependent --Co-dependence as one-way street --Interdependence as two autonomous beings in agreement of stakeholders in relationship --Healthy relationships always being two-person system, not individual  --Couples as co-architects creating culture around them --Thinking big picture in a relationship --Importance of vetting before a relationship --Focus on perfect relationship: safety & security, love & affection, admiration & growth --Relationship/children hierarchy --Single parents moving to relationships --Evolution of pair-bonding in herds --Interrupting stress patterns during conflict to remember benefits of other person --Put something in place to remind each other to keep from harming each other --Humans wired for threat, have to work through emphasizing love and benefits for individuals involved Resources website www.thepactinstitute.com IG: @drstantatkin

    EP 138: Cultish - The Language of Fanaticism with Amanda Montell

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 18, 2021 47:09


    In this episode, Kimberly and Amanda discuss language, cultism, and community. Amanda explains aspects of her book “Cultish” to describe how religious principles still permeate much of our secular culture, how groups such as fitness brands and start-ups use language similar to cults, and how we can give ourselves and each other more flexibility in how we use language, identify with groups, and hold disagreements. Ultimately, they discuss how language is based on context, evolves over time, and requires a genuine understanding as we use it to communicate with each other.   Bio Amanda Montell is a writer, language scholar, and podcast host from Baltimore. She is the author of two critically acclaimed books: Cultish: The Language of Fanaticism, an indie bestseller about the language of "cults" from Scientology to SoulCycle and Wordslut: A Feminist Guide to Taking Back the English Language. Amanda's books have earned praise from The New York Times, The Washington Post, The Atlantic, Time Magazine, Harper's Bazaar, and Kirkus Reviews, among others, and Amanda is currently developing Wordslut for television with FX Studios, serving as creator, writer, and executive producer. Amanda is also the creator and co-host of the comedy-cult podcast, Sounds Like A Cult. As a reporter and essayist, Amanda's writing has been featured in Marie Claire, Cosmopolitan, Teen Vogue, Refinery29, DAME Magazine, The Rumpus, and Who What Wear, where she formerly served as the Features & Beauty Editor. She holds a degree in linguistics from NYU and lives in Los Angeles with her partner, plants, and pets.   What She Shares: --How religious principles still exist in secular culture --Aspects of cults that can be harmless and harmful --How social media is cultish --Finding space in the grey areas    What You'll Hea:r --American protestant principles infiltrates culture through finding meaning, community, transformation --Fitness brands like SoulCycle and CrossFit act as religions in a secular society --Cult definitions vary despite sensationalized media portrayals --Most cults have not been linked to criminal activity --Everyone is susceptible to cultish influence --Language clues us to cultish groups or communities --Protestant ethic deeply embedded in ideas of meritocracy and cleansing self of badness found in culture --Many cults of 60s and 70s use Evangelical concepts appropriated with Eastern religious language --Obsession with word art is similar to Protestant shift from images to text  --Buzz words from psychology, feminist politics, etc. used as codes in various communities --”Thought terminating cliches” as expressions that are easily remembered and shut down any questioning --Semantic stop-signs in conspiritualist circles --Intuition vs. facts --Admitting when we're wrong and overwhelmed by information --No spaces culturally exist for grey areas of life --Evolving language and incredibly challenging time of reckoning what language feels inclusive and accurate --Cults aren't always necessarily as extreme as Jonestown but can be exploitative, abusive, and trauma-inducing --Mainstream groups that function as certain dangers and exploitation --”Cult” definition is varied and nuanced --Language is dependent on context --Social media cultivating cultism in ourselves, our interests, our beliefs, etc. --Being able to recognize our full humanity outside of groups and communities   Resources Website: http://amandamontell.com/ IG: @amanda_montell

    EP 137: Mothering Teens and Pre-teens, Intergenerational Healing, and Badass Girls with Eliza Reynolds

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 9, 2021 57:19


    In this episode, Kimberly and Eliza discuss intergenerational relationships, mother-daughter healing, and navigating parent-child dynamics during the preteen and teenage years in order to cultivate more conscious, self-loving, and resilient children. Eliza discusses how she began this work, alongside her mother, Sil Reynolds, as a teenager. They discuss the need for parents to have intergenerational support while parenting and for teens, holding space for rapid developmental changes and intensity through the teen years, and pushing back on negative cultural stereotypes of preteens and teens in order to raise more empowered youth.   Bio Eliza Reynolds is a best-selling author, speaker, and professional mentor. She's the coauthor, with her mom, Sil, of Mothering and Daughtering: Keeping Your Bond Strong Through the Teen Years. For almost 15 years, Eliza has been facilitating sold-out workshops for thousands of mothers and their preteen and teen daughters, and now offers online and in-person mentorship programs teaching emotional intelligence, embodiment, body literacy, and more for big-hearted preteen and teen girls at Badass Girls. What They Share  --Need for intergenerational support for parents and children --How cultural stereotypes of teen girls impact them --Commonalities between teens and toddlers development --Mature mentorship --Healthy resistance and how to hold space for it from preteens and teens   What You'll Hear --Describes writing book and teaching with mother at 15 --”Full body yes” to teach and facilitate --Dominant culture “mom bashing” from teens and culture --Sil always looking for mentors, intergenerational village for Eliza --Cultural degradation of teenage girls --Not normalizing parents feeling overwhelmed and isolated --False, harmful narrative that teen parenting is only hardship --Preteens and teens need intergenerational village of support --Parents can't bridge intergenerational gap with teens without the village --Underestimate fracturing of extended family, place, and impact on parent-child --Healthy mentorship and positive power dynamics --”Daughtering” as being active in relationship with your parent --Growing between healthy independence and healthy dependence --Negative stories/stereotypes we tell teen girls about themselves often come true --Sil would never trash talk Eliza to other people --Teenage girls as fiercely loyal, loving, kind, radically inclusive with support --Mothers need other mother/mentor support in community raising preteens and teens together --Children surrounded by peers in toxic mom-bashing culture  --Dual shift parents getting parenting in community and mentorship and daughter getting healthy peer community and mentorship --Teens starve for mentorship and want to be in stable and grounded community mirrors back their magic --Badass Girls Academy supports parents and daughters --Pushing through the resistance as parents --Commonalities in parenting, attachment, and rapid development in toddlers and teens --Preteen and teen “tantrums” because of brain development, psyche, hormones, etc. remembering they are not adults yet --Being safe harbor and adult through teen tantrums --Empowering young people to have more conscious relationships to make home easier and less conflict --Building skill-set to consciously communicate through practicing with mentors, scripts, body-centering techniques, etc. --Holding boundaries and containment around preteens and teens --Safety still really important with this age group --Working with healthy resistance as parents, pushing up ways against similarities and differences as parent --Feel safety with parents to express themselves and not taking it personally as parents --Helping teens navigate resistance and intensity --Holding true space for their ‘no' in order to hold true space for their ‘yes' --Badass Academy is program private app and community curated by professional mentors all online, monthly themes, being more invested in radical responsibility of respecting and loving yourself   Resources Website: https://badassgirls.me/ IG: @eliza.feelings

    EP 136: Spirit Work, Conspiracies, Elderhood and Grief with Stephen Jenkinson, Part Two

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 4, 2021 86:48


    In the second of two episodes, Kimberly and Stephen discuss the roles of parents, grandparents and godparents in raising children. They attend to what might be some of the consequence of this gross fracturing of a sense of commons in the surge of conspiracy theories. And they wander through the territory of elderhood, grief, and awakening in a hope-free world.      What You'll Here: —The role of parenting —Grandparenting is not elder hood —Elderhood or grandparenting or godparenting —Opioids- the longing after beauty- “anesthetic” —Seeking not after approval but for blessing —If you choose to choose the world or you, give them to the world —Parents are in charge of custodial duties- the janitors —Closeness and intimacy belies the suspicion of distance —What was everyone on about before there was a vaccine —Euthanasia is consistent with death-phobia  —A personal truth? and the I-focus —Conception of God, the serenity prayer —Crisis- the imagined possibilities are frayed and are no more —There's a clarity comes with crisis that obliges you that's not available when you are feeling fine —Grief and brokenheartedness in a culture that believes in wholeness only —Fundamental addiction to self-determination —Consequence of this gross fracturing of a sense of commons will last far longer than the conspiracy itself —Heartbreak is how you cleanse yourself of prejudices, you do not rid yourself of them —Origin of our capacity for gratitude —Labor on behalf of a better day without hope —We don't need people who have an answer for everything —A healthy respect for the unknown  —Meaning of the word “Awake”- of the web of consequence that fanned out from everything you did and did not do, and you did and did not say —What is the sound upon awakening that we make?

    EP 135: Spirit Work, Conspiracies, Elderhood and Grief with Stephen Jenkinson, Part One

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 3, 2021 76:13


    In this first of two episodes, Kimberly and Stephen look at what happens when we normalize these uniquely troubled times, as well as how we got here. Together they wonder about grief, parenting, elderhood, me-first culture and conspiracies in times of crisis. Stephen places emphasis on how relationship to history informs our present circumstance and meaning making. What do we gain by normalizing times such as these? Where does health come from? How do we reckon with our me-first world in a time so desperate for community and culture?   What You'll Hear --Plague is not an easy thing to normalize, 1919 is the last time --Spirit work is a response to troubles of the times, not freedom from the troubles of the times --How wisdom is distinguished from prejudice --Our spirit work is our response to the world, not our feeling tone about the world --A puritan about your own fundamentalism --The last thing a conspiracy theorist does is imagine that their conspiracy is conspiratorial --Mania of challenging everything rarely gets challenged --Culture orchestrated around appealing to and buying and selling to 17 year olds- inherited from the 60s --What do our kids do with what we've given to them --Etymology of the word Fate- from the Latin word from the verb “to speak” What the Gods had said.” --Now that the Gods have spoken, what shall you do- what are the obligations? --Origin of the concept of “bucket list” --Skillfulness or ability to be good, “good” is not a temperature of your character or indwelling possession  --Where does your health come from? --What happens if we imagine that the differences between us are problems to solve? --You are incapable of generating the meaning of your life --The meaning of your life is assembled when you die, what a village minded person owns their neighbors --You don't get to know your legacy, it's not yours, it's the consequence of your death --Your act of dying is your last act of citizenship --The word “therapeo” to cure, you require a malady --Preoccupation with self is the principle malady of the times --What's the source of the enthronement of the self and social media --Elderhood as a check-and-balance on the regime of self-absorption --What will happen if you don't know how to die? --Death as a great act of humanity and its fullest incarnation or an insult to humanity --Willingness to work is a casualty of the “me first” movement --The moral quandary of having children --Inclusivity is a blowing apart of the capacity to distinguish, inclusivity shames discernment --Culture work versus personal work --Dominant culture of North American founded by flight risks, people on the run, casualties --"The world" doesn't exist, place does Resources Website: www.orphanwisdom.com

    EP 134: Discovering Your True Genius, Embracing All Emotions, and The Upper Limit Problem with Gay Hendricks

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 26, 2021 62:18


    In this episode, Kimberly and Gay discuss his revolutionary term “upper limit problem,” which describes when a person's capacity for feeling positive emotions is immediately followed by conflict or a dip. They also discuss how Gay discovered this phenomena and his life's work regarding relationship building, aligning oneself with pure consciousness, and his passion for helping people discover their “genius” or true creativity. Gay discusses his experience being a thought leader of transformational psychology early in academia and mainstream culture and his thoughts on being an elder in today's society.     Gay Hendricks is a psychologist, author of forty books (including “The Big Leap” and “Conscious Loving”), teacher, and therapist on all things regarding relationships and body-mind transformation. He received his PhD from Stanford University in Counseling Psychology and taught for twenty years at University of Colorado. With his wife, Dr. Kathleen Hendricks, he founded The Hendricks Institute where they coach teachers and conduct workshops on relationships and wellness. They have been featured in a number of radio and television shows as well as many conferences and seminars.     What He Shares: --Gay's personal awakening in mid 20s --The Upper Limit Problem --The Genius Zone --Embracing all emotions and opening towards pure consciousness --Relationships for mutual healing --Discovering your true genius and creativity     What You'll Hear: --Describes beginning of academic career from PhD studies to professorship --Negative fantasy that caused worry despite feeling good and being successful --Growing up overweight and body image issues with dieting --Turning point moment of pure consciousness recognized blocking of negative emotions with food --Opening significant new territory within ourselves is major life event --Upper limit problem occurs when intense feelings of goodness are followed by intense feelings of not feeling good (reached upper limit) --Upper limit problem in relationship --Societal upper limit problem from 60s-70s --Expanding with fear instead of contracting with it --Pay-off is living in peaceful flow of positive energy within relationships --Steady relationship, not a lot of ups and downs --Zero-criticism relationships --Criticism as attack on your being instead of actions --Become masters of fear and moving through waves of fear --Staying open to the collective with hearts open not closed towards others' suffering --Sitting in pleasure without spiritual by-passing, using pleasure to heal trauma --New book describing extension of upper limit problem --How to feel flow and connection all the time --Creativity important in relationships for individuals to grow “your genius” --Everybody has same desire inside to bring forth their “genius,” their true creativity --Finding genius in relationship --Pre-order copy of upcoming book --Being an elder in our culture --Planning for what you want in older age --Choosing creativity instead of stagnation; Choosing integrity instead of despair --Experience being a thought leader and academic in New Age time from 1960s-70s to now --Leaving his legacy Resources Website https://hendricks.com/ IG: @hendricks.gay

    EP 133: Lymph & the Nervous System - Massage as Nourishing Touch for Health with Lisa Levitt Gainsley

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 15, 2021 49:24


    In this episode, Kimberly and Lisa discuss the lymph system and all its facets. Lisa describes what the lymph system is, what lymph drainage massage is and feels like, and the benefits of lymph massage for total well-being. They also discuss the importance of communication and safety in bodywork and how to perform self-massage on your lymph system. Kimberly and Lisa are going to host an upcoming workshop on lymph massage and listeners can check out Lisa's new book, "The Book of Lymph" and website below for more resources.    Bio Lisa Levitt Gainsley is a Certified Lymphedema Therapist, Manual Lymphatic Drainage practitioner, Author, Educator, and Speaker. Her work has appeared in GOOP, ELLE, The Hollywood Reporter, Healthline and more. She has worked at UCLA Medical Center and been in private practice for 20 years. She holds a double certification in Lymphedema Therapy and is a member of the Lymphatic Education & Research Network (LE&RN) and National Lymphedema Network (NLN). Lisa leads workshops across the country and has pioneered the field of Lymphatic self-massage and just published her book “The Lymphatic Message.” What She Shares: --What is the lymph system? --Lymph drainage massage --Health benefits of lymph massage --Importance of communication in bodywork   What You'll Hear --Lymphatic system is circulatory system, part of immune system --Role picks up waste products of body and absorbs waste --Lymph hard to see and dissect making it slow to scientific discourse --Improve lymphatic health to quell inflammation and affect mood and nervous system --Understanding lymph system can unlock cures possibly to certain diseases such as MS, cancer, etc. --Lymph system moves 6-12x per minute, slow rhythm and layers of lymph --Lymph massage changes lymph and the nervous system --Lymphatic massage is highlighted for different benefits around the world (aesthetic, immune-boosting, etc.) --Pregnancy causes inflammation and swelling but natural process of body --Shift from mindset of weight-gain during pregnancy to natural, intrinsic movement and clearing of waste in support of body --Lymph has patterns of drainage, understand locations of lymph nodes for self-massage --Self-care as self-massage rooted in physiology and clearing waste --Book contains 3-5 minute self-care practices  --Different approaches for self-touch --Laying hands flat to grab fluid and move up and let go --Lymph stroke similar to how one touches baby for nourishing touch --Negotiating how and where we accept or request touch --Body-workers needing to communicate type of treatment and touch --Three-layer touch (motherly, gripping, lightly) for lymphatic massage similar to baby sleep training --Communicating through touch what feels safe and secure --Importance of interpersonal communication during bodywork --Importance of relationship with practitioner and client --Proactive towards health with lymphatic massage --Lymphatic massage as community engagement and ways of connecting --Digital course, pre-recorded tutorials and monthly lives to practice on own and in community --Kimberly and Lisa to have workshop together --Cancer and lymph massage --Palliative care and lymph massage   Resources Website: https://www.thelymphaticmessage.com/ IG: @thelymphaticmessage