When They Were Young: Amplifying Voices of Adoptees

 Today we have  an adoptee who was a guest on episode 50 where we discussed the dangers of calling adoption a blessing. Sara Easterly is an adoptee, essayist, and author of books that include Adoption Unfiltered: Revelations from Adoptees, Birth Parents, Adoptive Parents, and Allies, and award-winning spiritual memoir, Searching for Mom. She is the founder of Adoptee Voices, which supports adoptees in their storytelling. She is also a trained course facilitator with the Neufeld Institute, with special interest in the intersection of attachment, child development, brain science, and adoption.We discuss:Check in on her book tours for Adoption Unfiltered (I make a cameo in this book!)The feeling of rejection for adopteesHow she found her book collaboratorsSara's reunion with her biological familyThe corruption in adoptionThe new excuse to hold onto adoption narrativeBooks cited:Author Gabor Mate "Addicted to Drama" by Dr Scott LyonsDaniel Nayeri the author of "Everthing Sad and Untrue"Gretchen Sisson the author of "Relinquished" (Guest on Episode 71)GUEST:www.saraeasterly.comhttps://www.instagram.com/saraeasterlyauthor/https://www.facebook.com/saraeasterlyauthorhttps://x/saraeasterlyPhoto credit for bio pic: Adoptee Eileen Skahill Support the showCONNECT WITH HOST:@youngadoptee@lantoineswww.laniseantoineshelley.comWATCH ON YOUTUBE Here!MERCH here "I am my Hero" and "Courage, my love" TeesSPONSORSHIPS: BetterHelp Show Link HERE!DISCOUNT on WeUNIK Cosmetic Hair products15% off Code: WTWY ADOPTEE CONVERSATIONS WITH PARENTS:14 through18, and episode 28, and 29. WATCH PANELS: Here!JAMES BALDWIN'S ESSAY ON "WHITENESS": HISTORY of the word “Colored”:NYC ARTICLE ON THE USE OF "BIPOC":RESOURCES ON ...

Hi again! The idea of adoptees reclaiming themselves have perplexed certain people for awhile now. If you aren't adopted or haven't had an in-depth conversation with someone who is adopted you might wonder “What do they need to reclaim?” Today's guest is Rae from Adoptee Reclaimed. Rae is trauma-informed and versed in child development, brain-body integration, and addiction and abuse recovery coaching. Rae borrows somatic methods and Internal Family Systems which she customizes for adoptees. I stumbled across Rae from her Poetry contest.We discuss:Using our voice in a Poetic formWhy I've named the  podcast “When they were young”The silent assignment of adopteesRecognition of before the fogHistory of adoption with native AmericansReunion SupportHow we can best receive joyAnd 5 tips for quality of life (The 3rd tip will change the course of how you approach dating)Guest: RaeAdopteereclaimed.com Support the showCONNECT WITH HOST:@youngadoptee@lantoineswww.laniseantoineshelley.comWATCH ON YOUTUBE Here!MERCH here "I am my Hero" and "Courage, my love" TeesSPONSORSHIPS: BetterHelp Show Link HERE!DISCOUNT on WeUNIK Cosmetic Hair products15% off Code: WTWY ADOPTEE CONVERSATIONS WITH PARENTS:14 through18, and episode 28, and 29. WATCH PANELS: Here!JAMES BALDWIN'S ESSAY ON "WHITENESS": HISTORY of the word “Colored”:NYC ARTICLE ON THE USE OF "BIPOC":RESOURCES ON ...

Happy New Year! This conversation is a great inspiration for this next chapter. Eunniri Lee is a Korean-American activist, visual artist, and adoptee who I stumbled across on Tik Tok. I was instantly intrigued by her multidimensional content, her whimsical makeup and Megan thee Stallion commentary. And the fact that she is an adoptee as well was sprinkles on the top. This conversation covers just about everything. We discuss the importance of sex education and her partners app that he's developing around conscious coupling.We talk about: Eunniri's visual artworkWhy transparency around influencers is importantHer journey to confidence as a beauty creatorAnd her work with Operation Olive BranchBooks mentioned:All about love by Bell HooksEsther Perel Dating in CaptivityAddicted to Drama by Dr. Scott LyonsGUEST:Eunniri LeeInstagram - @eunnuri_lee / @oori_nuriTIktok - @eunnuri_lee Support the showCONNECT WITH HOST:@youngadoptee@lantoineswww.laniseantoineshelley.comWATCH ON YOUTUBE Here!MERCH here "I am my Hero" and "Courage, my love" TeesSPONSORSHIPS: BetterHelp Show Link HERE!DISCOUNT on WeUNIK Cosmetic Hair products15% off Code: WTWY ADOPTEE CONVERSATIONS WITH PARENTS:14 through18, and episode 28, and 29. WATCH PANELS: Here!JAMES BALDWIN'S ESSAY ON "WHITENESS": HISTORY of the word “Colored”:NYC ARTICLE ON THE USE OF "BIPOC":RESOURCES ON ...

Hey there, love! Today we have Shania Ives as a guest! Shania is an adult adoptee from the UK, the Founding Director of The Dunbar Project, and a trainee integrative psychotherapist. Her mission is to create spaces for empowerment and growth within marginalized communities.Shania is the very first adoptee I've met whose adoptive parents strove to preserve Shania's connection with her biological family. The story on how her Adoptive parents understood and organized themselves around  her trauma is breathtaking. We discuss:The atmosphere of adoption in the UKShania's biological father's struggle to keep her How she founded the Dunbar ProjectWhat Shania's philosophy to RECLAIM. REFRAME looks likeWe also unpack a variety of resources for extraordinary organizations and initiative for adoptees in the UK and beyondAnd Shania breakdown why is important to have Trauma informed caregivers. GUEST:Shania Ives@thedunbarprojectwww.thedunbarproject.org.ukArticle on the Dunbar Project Support the showCONNECT WITH HOST:@youngadoptee@lantoineswww.laniseantoineshelley.comWATCH ON YOUTUBE Here!MERCH here "I am my Hero" and "Courage, my love" TeesSPONSORSHIPS: BetterHelp Show Link HERE!DISCOUNT on WeUNIK Cosmetic Hair products15% off Code: WTWY ADOPTEE CONVERSATIONS WITH PARENTS:14 through18, and episode 28, and 29. WATCH PANELS: Here!JAMES BALDWIN'S ESSAY ON "WHITENESS": HISTORY of the word “Colored”:NYC ARTICLE ON THE USE OF "BIPOC":RESOURCES ON ...

Today I chat with Becca Flatt, who is a therapist and advocate specializing in adoption-related trauma, grief, and estrangement. A queer, Black, interracial biracial adoptee, she provides therapy exclusively for adoptees and consultations for both adoptees and adoptive parents. Becca facilitates an estrangement support group for adoptees with Adoption Mosaic and teaches an estrangement course for adoptive parents, helping clients navigate relational challenges with compassion, boundaries, and clarity.We discuss:-How she found the balance between accountability and understanding. - How she defines what “Forced Empathy” looks like-What accountability looks like when you burn it to the ground- How she dealt with self hatred stemming from racism. - Why adoptees forgo their comfort to support their adoptive parents. - Misogynoir--what is it?-And Becca does touch on but does not go into detail how she is a sexual abuse survivor.GUEST: Becca Flatt@mending_the_adopted_heartwww.mendedheart.org Support the showCONNECT WITH HOST:@youngadoptee@lantoineswww.laniseantoineshelley.comWATCH ON YOUTUBE Here!MERCH here "I am my Hero" and "Courage, my love" TeesSPONSORSHIPS: BetterHelp Show Link HERE!DISCOUNT on WeUNIK Cosmetic Hair products15% off Code: WTWY ADOPTEE CONVERSATIONS WITH PARENTS:14 through18, and episode 28, and 29. WATCH PANELS: Here!JAMES BALDWIN'S ESSAY ON "WHITENESS": HISTORY of the word “Colored”:NYC ARTICLE ON THE USE OF "BIPOC":RESOURCES ON ...

Hey, loves! Today I give you three actionables (including a book) that will shift the way you react to people and the situations around you. As well as a tip to release expectations. The holiday season can be disappointing with unmet expectations, I think I know something that will help :)BOOK: Addicted to Drama by Dr. Scott Lyons Support the showCONNECT WITH HOST:@youngadoptee@lantoineswww.laniseantoineshelley.comWATCH ON YOUTUBE Here!MERCH here "I am my Hero" and "Courage, my love" TeesSPONSORSHIPS: BetterHelp Show Link HERE!DISCOUNT on WeUNIK Cosmetic Hair products15% off Code: WTWY ADOPTEE CONVERSATIONS WITH PARENTS:14 through18, and episode 28, and 29. WATCH PANELS: Here!JAMES BALDWIN'S ESSAY ON "WHITENESS": HISTORY of the word “Colored”:NYC ARTICLE ON THE USE OF "BIPOC":RESOURCES ON ...

Today I sit with Tara Nolan who is the co-hosts of the podcast (ABC) Adoptees Born in China show, where adoptees from China can listen to and share their adoption stories. This is a deeply thought provoking conversation around the Chinese laws to abolish international adoption and the emotional outcry of the Chinese adoptees who are the last adoptees from that region of the world. We discuss:- Art and its impact on our lives - The timeline of Chinese laws from the 1982 one child Nation Mandate- Tara's insights on the change in Chinese laws and what she thinks this means for adoptees here in the states. Guest: Tara Nolan@adopteesborninchinapodcasthttps://open.spotify.com/show/63VPA3IiyDrYN1XyS2bjiEResources mention:Nanchang ProjectChinese Adoptee Alliance Support the showCONNECT WITH HOST:@youngadoptee@lantoineswww.laniseantoineshelley.comSPONSORSHIPS: BetterHelp Show Link HERE!DISCOUNT on WeUNIK Cosmetic Hair products15% off Code: WTWY Link: https://weunikworld.com/discount/WTWY ADOPTEE CONVERSATIONS WITH PARENTS:14 through18, and episode 28, and 29. WATCH PANELS: Here!JAMES BALDWIN'S ESSAY ON "WHITENESS": HISTORY of the word “Colored”:NYC ARTICLE ON THE USE OF "BIPOC":RESOURCES ON HOW TO TALK ABOUT RACE:

Today I have the pleasure of chatting with Ryan Jafar Artes, the host of adoptee Open Mic Tuesday zoom events and an award winning poet. We discuss: The act of Reparenting ourselvesAnd how through the clear lens of sobriety, Ryan chose the community that poured into him. We touch on the imperative of supporting younger generations of adoptees, Afrofuturism and endofuturism that has inspired a more authentic existence where we can make mistakes and explore numerous outcomes. And we talk about what communities make us feel safe. Ryan also teaches us how to put our stories down with each other not in each other. And we finish with a course on how to give yourself the love language you desire. GUEST:linktr.ee/ryanartes @ryanartespoet  @theadopteeopenmic on IG Support the showCONNECT WITH HOST:@youngadoptee@lantoineswww.laniseantoineshelley.comSPONSORSHIPS: BetterHelp Show Link HERE!DISCOUNT on WeUNIK Cosmetic Hair products15% off Code: WTWY Link: https://weunikworld.com/discount/WTWY ADOPTEE CONVERSATIONS WITH PARENTS:14 through18, and episode 28, and 29. WATCH PANELS: Here!JAMES BALDWIN'S ESSAY ON "WHITENESS": HISTORY of the word “Colored”:NYC ARTICLE ON THE USE OF "BIPOC":RESOURCES ON HOW TO TALK ABOUT RACE:

Hi friends, It's been a ruthless week but I'm here for you. Today I dive into the 5 things I've learned the past year on hiatus. Please note that I speak about my suicide ideations, mental health as well as mention the convictions of our president elect. I'll leave you with some nuggets of hope though. Sending you grace.  Support the showCONNECT WITH HOST:@youngadoptee@lantoineswww.laniseantoineshelley.comSPONSORSHIPS: BetterHelp Show Link HERE!DISCOUNT on WeUNIK Cosmetic Hair products15% off Code: WTWY Link: https://weunikworld.com/discount/WTWY ADOPTEE CONVERSATIONS WITH PARENTS:14 through18, and episode 28, and 29. WATCH PANELS: Here!JAMES BALDWIN'S ESSAY ON "WHITENESS": HISTORY of the word “Colored”:NYC ARTICLE ON THE USE OF "BIPOC":RESOURCES ON HOW TO TALK ABOUT RACE:

Today I have the pleasure of chatting with Dr. Gretchen Sisson about her critically acclaimed book "Relinquished: The Politics of Adoption and the Privilege of American Motherhood." Gretchen is a sociologist with Advancing New Standards in Reproductive Health at the University of California, San Francisco, where she studies adoption and abortion. We discuss:-How national crisis create opportunities for adoption -The views of white mothers on relinquishing their biracial children to white adopters-The laws behind kinship care and valuing children staying in their original culture -The definition of transracial adoption -Why there is a national interest to increase adoption-The impact of overturning of Roe v Wade on the adoption industry-Laws that have been implemented to help adoptees retrieve their biological histories- Project 2025And finally I ask the question “Is adoption child centered” and what Gretchen will enlighten you.  Support the showCONNECT WITH HOST:@youngadoptee@lantoineswww.laniseantoineshelley.comSPONSORSHIPS: BetterHelp Show Link HERE!DISCOUNT on WeUNIK Cosmetic Hair products15% off Code: WTWY Link: https://weunikworld.com/discount/WTWY ADOPTEE CONVERSATIONS WITH PARENTS:14 through18, and episode 28, and 29. WATCH PANELS: Here!JAMES BALDWIN'S ESSAY ON "WHITENESS": HISTORY of the word “Colored”:NYC ARTICLE ON THE USE OF "BIPOC":RESOURCES ON HOW TO TALK ABOUT RACE:

I was a guest on the podcast Adoption: The Long View, hosted by Lori Holden. In this episode I am interviewed by Lori who asks the vital question "How can adoptees be the hero of their own stories?" Because that is what I believe we should be. Lori is one of the co-writers for the book, "Adoption Unfiltered: Revelations by Adoptees, Birth parents, and Adoptive parents." The following is what we talk about. Disclaimer: This listen is for adults only. 00:00 Intro00:47 Video greeting from Lanise11: 01 Interview with Lori Holden begins11:59 Lanise starts her adoption story16:20 Lanise's coming out of the FOG story18:29 How Lanise's grief manifested19:42 Lanise's suicide ideations22:49 Coming to terms with our own story 23:30 Chapter 18 of Adoption Unfiltered "Saviorism)26:35 The movie Origin & Caste system in adoption28:22 Global supremacy of whiteness28:30 Article from The Conversation about whiteness in adoption30:50 Barbara Kinsolver Poisonwood Bible31:00 Consequences of saviorism 32:18 Lanise's definition of a better life34:08 What's behind saviourism and AP's controlling the narrative34:58 Altruism vs saviorism Support the showCONNECT WITH HOST:@youngadoptee@lantoineswww.laniseantoineshelley.comSPONSORSHIPS: BetterHelp Show Link HERE!DISCOUNT on WeUNIK Cosmetic Hair products15% off Code: WTWY Link: https://weunikworld.com/discount/WTWY DISCOUNT FOR 15% GUIDE BOOKS:Isaac Etter's IDENTITY (Equipping parents, Empowering Children)Black Hair Care Guide to Transracial Adoption ADOPTEE CONVERSATIONS WITH PARENTS:14 through18, and episode 28, and 29. WATCH PANELS: Here!JAMES BALDWIN'S ESSAY ON "WHITENESS": HISTORY of the word “Colored”:...

Today we talk about the science of attachment styles inspired by the book "Attached" by Amir Levine and Rachel S.F. Heller. This book has revolutionized how I approach all of my relationships. These are my reasons why you should read this book and how I now use it to healthfully allow people to be as they are.  REFERENCES:Attached written by Amir Levine and Rachel S.F. Heller Disordered Attachment Article Support the showCONNECT WITH HOST:@youngadoptee@lantoineswww.laniseantoineshelley.comSPONSORSHIPS: BetterHelp Show Link HERE!DISCOUNT FOR 15% GUIDE BOOKS:Isaac Etter's IDENTITY (Equipping parents, Empowering Children)Black Hair Care Guide to Transracial Adoption ADOPTEE CONVERSATIONS WITH PARENTS:14 through18, and episode 28, and 29. WATCH PANELS: Here!JAMES BALDWIN'S ESSAY ON "WHITENESS": HISTORY of the word “Colored”:NYC ARTICLE ON THE USE OF "BIPOC":RESOURCES ON ...

Today our guest is Shelby Redfield Kilgore who is a two time Emmy award-winning filmmaker and author of the blog, “Behind the Lens” and also co-writer of the book “Rooted in Adoption: A Collection of Adoptee Reflections”.Today's topics:Her filmmaking and how she found her artistic voiceHow the stories she collects have informed her own adoption journeyThe societal pressures of single mothers in Korea and The resentment that surfaced toward her culture because of what happened to her mother.The imperative of adoptive parent's get thorough education before adoptingAnd her courage through her Breast cancer journeyGUEST: Shelby Redfield Kilgorehttps://www.wearemirrorlight.com/ Support the showCONNECT WITH HOST:@youngadoptee@lantoineswww.laniseantoineshelley.comDONATE TO THE SHOWDISCOUNT FOR 15% GUIDE BOOKS:Isaac Etter's IDENTITY (Equipping parents, Empowering Children)Black Hair Care Guide to Transracial Adoption ADOPTEE CONVERSATIONS WITH PARENTS:14 through18, and episode 28, and 29. WATCH PANELS: Here!JAMES BALDWIN'S ESSAY ON "WHITENESS": HISTORY of the word “Colored”:NYC ARTICLE ON THE USE OF "BIPOC":RESOURCES ON HOW TO TALK ABOUT RACE:

Today we have author, activist, podcaster, and educative content creator Melissa Guida Richards; who was also a guest on episode 6 ,and a panelist on my 2020 panel series. A lot has happened since we last chatted a few years ago; Melissa's second book launched and her tik tok / IG platforms now have a huge following of people who want to learn more. Topics today include:The ramification of Separating siblingsHer relationship with her adoptive mother, and what it was like to be on the Cameron Hall show with her adoptive mother. What it means to filter content through an anti-racist lensHer work in the adoption community and her strategy to make lasting and systemic change. The harm of Social media platforms that advertise children and the dangers of pre-birth matchingRe-homing children on the internet (AKA human trafficking)We also talk about birth parents in crisis and the laws around their rights. She gives advice on how to protect your children's story when you're a parental content creator. How to not over-shareAnd then we finish with tips on how to not minimize the adoptee experienceGUEST: Melissa Guida Richards adopteethoughts.comMelissa's Workbooks Support the showCONNECT WITH HOST:@youngadoptee@lantoineswww.laniseantoineshelley.comDONATE TO THE SHOW:https://ko-fi.com/whentheywereyoungDISCOUNT FOR 15% GUIDE BOOKS:Isaac Etter's IDENTITY (Equipping parents, Empowering Children)Black Hair Care - https://identitylearning.ck.page/products/blkhaircare?promo=WTWY TRA - https://identitylearning.ck.page/products/a-practical-guide-to-tra?promo=WTWY ADOPTEE CONVERSATIONS WITH PARENTS:14 through18, and episode 28, and 29. WATCH PANELS:https://www.facebook.com/USFCH/videos/806431379903046BALDWIN'S ESSAY ON "WHITENESS":https://bannekerinstitute.fas.harvard.edu/files/bannekerinstitute/files/on_being_white.and_other_lies_baldwin_0.pdf HISTORY “Colored”:https://www.npr.org/sections/codeswitch/2014/03/30/295931070/the-journey-from-colored-to-minorities-to-people-of-colorNYC ARTICLE ON THE USE OF "BIPOC":https://www.nytimes.com/article/what-is-bipoc.htmlRECOURSES ON HOW TO TALK ABOUT RACE:https://www.laniseantoineshelley.com/post/copy-of-literacy-program-for-syrian-girls-refugees

Today I speak with poet, artist, and activist matthew anthony. Matthew has a podcast called "Little Did You Know" and a vibrant poetry book called "You Can Not Burn The Sun."We discuss:- Reclaiming ones name- Rehoming and separating siblings - What "with-ness" is in regards to solidarity - And the resiliency of a black spirit brought up in a Sun Down townGUEST: matthew anthonyhttps://drum.io/cantburnthesun?fbclid=IwAR0XqFmMZsW8-XJwJO4UiyiJugu-LIgsbWJIt9UMHj-vtGBOCU9reHZk8N4REFERENCES:James Baldwin “The Fire Next Time”. Support the showCONNECT WITH HOST:@youngadoptee@lantoineswww.laniseantoineshelley.comDONATE TO THE SHOW:https://ko-fi.com/whentheywereyoungDISCOUNT FOR 15% GUIDE BOOKS:Isaac Etter's IDENTITY (Equipping parents, Empowering Children)Black Hair Care - https://identitylearning.ck.page/products/blkhaircare?promo=WTWY TRA - https://identitylearning.ck.page/products/a-practical-guide-to-tra?promo=WTWY ADOPTEE CONVERSATIONS WITH PARENTS:14 through18, and episode 28, and 29. WATCH PANELS:https://www.facebook.com/USFCH/videos/806431379903046BALDWIN'S ESSAY ON "WHITENESS":https://bannekerinstitute.fas.harvard.edu/files/bannekerinstitute/files/on_being_white.and_other_lies_baldwin_0.pdf HISTORY “Colored”:https://www.npr.org/sections/codeswitch/2014/03/30/295931070/the-journey-from-colored-to-minorities-to-people-of-colorNYC ARTICLE ON THE USE OF "BIPOC":https://www.nytimes.com/article/what-is-bipoc.htmlRECOURSES ON HOW TO TALK ABOUT RACE:https://www.laniseantoineshelley.com/post/copy-of-literacy-program-for-syrian-girls-refugees

Today, we speak with Lorah Gerald (aka The Adopted Chameleon).  It was a delight to have a light worker with such a profound grasp of a plethora of healing modalities. Lorah is a trauma-informed Kundalini Yoga instructor, Intuitive, Tarot & Tea reader, and Reiki healer. You can find her on Instagram @theadopteechamelean sharing her gifts as a healer through movement and mindful practices. We talk about:The adoption summit she attended called “Untangling Our Roots”Lorah's Medium energy workerHer Kundalini Yoga practiceThe healing powers of wearing colors to brighten your moodThe Baby Scoop era that she was born into and the complexities of same race adoption. The difference between acute trauma, chronic trauma and complex traumaHow she became “The Adoptee Chameleon”We end with how you can change your energy through breath work, where she leads us through practice. GUEST: Lorah GeraldMy website, https://lorahgerald.com/My linktree, https://linktr.ee/LorahwgREFERENCES:https://untanglingourroots.org/Poisonwood Bible by Barbara Kingsolver  Support the showCONNECT WITH HOST:@youngadoptee@lantoineswww.laniseantoineshelley.comDONATE TO THE SHOW:https://ko-fi.com/whentheywereyoungDISCOUNT FOR 15% GUIDE BOOKS:Isaac Etter's IDENTITY (Equipping parents, Empowering Children)Black Hair Care - https://identitylearning.ck.page/products/blkhaircare?promo=WTWY TRA - https://identitylearning.ck.page/products/a-practical-guide-to-tra?promo=WTWY ADOPTEE CONVERSATIONS WITH PARENTS:14 through18, and episode 28, and 29. WATCH PANELS:https://www.facebook.com/USFCH/videos/806431379903046BALDWIN'S ESSAY ON "WHITENESS":https://bannekerinstitute.fas.harvard.edu/files/bannekerinstitute/files/on_being_white.and_other_lies_baldwin_0.pdf HISTORY “Colored”:https://www.npr.org/sections/codeswitch/2014/03/30/295931070/the-journey-from-colored-to-minorities-to-people-of-colorNYC ARTICLE ON THE USE OF "BIPOC":https://www.nytimes.com/article/what-is-bipoc.htmlRECOURSES ON HOW TO TALK ABOUT RACE:https://www.laniseantoineshelley.com/post/copy-of-literacy-program-for-syrian-girls-refugees

Today it's just me.This month has been many things for me. Officially it's Mental Health awareness month and Asian, Asian American, Pacific Islander Heritage Month. I want to take the time to honor both things. First I'll tell you why Mental Health awareness is so imperative on a personal level and on a community level.REFERENCES:Film One Child NationAsian Nation Bloghttps://www.asian-nation.org/index.shtmlAsian American Contributions:https://www.nyxt.nyc/blog/asian-american-pacific-american-heritage-5-facts/Transracial Adoption statistics:https://brandongaille.com/21-gripping-transracial-adoption-statistics/ Support the showCONNECT WITH HOST:@youngadoptee@lantoineswww.laniseantoineshelley.comDONATE TO THE SHOW:https://ko-fi.com/whentheywereyoungDISCOUNT FOR 15% GUIDE BOOKS:Isaac Etter's IDENTITY (Equipping parents, Empowering Children)Black Hair Care - https://identitylearning.ck.page/products/blkhaircare?promo=WTWY TRA - https://identitylearning.ck.page/products/a-practical-guide-to-tra?promo=WTWY ADOPTEE CONVERSATIONS WITH PARENTS:14 through18, and episode 28, and 29. WATCH PANELS:https://www.facebook.com/USFCH/videos/806431379903046BALDWIN'S ESSAY ON "WHITENESS":https://bannekerinstitute.fas.harvard.edu/files/bannekerinstitute/files/on_being_white.and_other_lies_baldwin_0.pdf HISTORY “Colored”:https://www.npr.org/sections/codeswitch/2014/03/30/295931070/the-journey-from-colored-to-minorities-to-people-of-colorNYC ARTICLE ON THE USE OF "BIPOC":https://www.nytimes.com/article/what-is-bipoc.htmlRECOURSES ON HOW TO TALK ABOUT RACE:https://www.laniseantoineshelley.com/post/copy-of-literacy-program-for-syrian-girls-refugees

Today's guest is Lori May Mier who is  the author of Marin and Her Very Bright Star; a story of resiliency which is available on her website. She also is an activator in her community. Find out why I use the word "activator" instead of "activist" in the episode. We talk about:The difference between Grief and lossNarrative therapy and how reimagining your story can change your perspectiveLori's experience with parental lossThe abuse Lori endured at the hands of her caregiversLori shares how generational grief shows up in parentingLori unpacks what it means to witness ones own courageous evolution GUEST: Lori May Mierhttps://www.bluemountainpathcoaching.com/ Support the showCONNECT WITH HOST:@youngadoptee@lantoineswww.laniseantoineshelley.comDONATE TO THE SHOW:https://ko-fi.com/whentheywereyoungDISCOUNT FOR 15% GUIDE BOOKS:Isaac Etter's IDENTITY (Equipping parents, Empowering Children)Black Hair Care - https://identitylearning.ck.page/products/blkhaircare?promo=WTWY TRA - https://identitylearning.ck.page/products/a-practical-guide-to-tra?promo=WTWY ADOPTEE CONVERSATIONS WITH PARENTS:14 through18, and episode 28, and 29. WATCH PANELS:https://www.facebook.com/USFCH/videos/806431379903046BALDWIN'S ESSAY ON "WHITENESS":https://bannekerinstitute.fas.harvard.edu/files/bannekerinstitute/files/on_being_white.and_other_lies_baldwin_0.pdf HISTORY “Colored”:https://www.npr.org/sections/codeswitch/2014/03/30/295931070/the-journey-from-colored-to-minorities-to-people-of-colorNYC ARTICLE ON THE USE OF "BIPOC":https://www.nytimes.com/article/what-is-bipoc.htmlRECOURSES ON HOW TO TALK ABOUT RACE:https://www.laniseantoineshelley.com/post/copy-of-literacy-program-for-syrian-girls-refugees

My guest today is Nelson De Witt who is an author, film maker and technologist. This conversation was fascinating. Nelson was born in El Salvador and raised here on East Coast. We discuss:-Coping mechanisms for his Dyslexia (and my dyslexia, because we both have it)- Joseph Campbell's Heroes Journey, which is the most prevalent template for stories that involve a hero. The hero goes on an adventure, is victorious in battle, and comes home changed or transformed. -The complexities of reunifying with his biological family and how he balances both worlds of adoptive and biological relatioships-- What it means to be “Disappeared” and trust me it's not anything you've heard of before. GUEST: Nelson De Witthttps://nelsonroberto.com/REFERENCES:Joseph Campbell's Heroes JourneyDyslexic No More by Lauren DouglasFinding Forrestor Quote Support the showCONNECT WITH HOST:@youngadoptee@lantoineswww.laniseantoineshelley.comDONATE TO THE SHOW:https://ko-fi.com/whentheywereyoungDISCOUNT FOR 15% GUIDE BOOKS:Isaac Etter's IDENTITY (Equipping parents, Empowering Children)Black Hair Care - https://identitylearning.ck.page/products/blkhaircare?promo=WTWY TRA - https://identitylearning.ck.page/products/a-practical-guide-to-tra?promo=WTWY ADOPTEE CONVERSATIONS WITH PARENTS:14 through18, and episode 28, and 29. WATCH PANELS:https://www.facebook.com/USFCH/videos/806431379903046BALDWIN'S ESSAY ON "WHITENESS":https://bannekerinstitute.fas.harvard.edu/files/bannekerinstitute/files/on_being_white.and_other_lies_baldwin_0.pdf HISTORY “Colored”:https://www.npr.org/sections/codeswitch/2014/03/30/295931070/the-journey-from-colored-to-minorities-to-people-of-colorNYC ARTICLE ON THE USE OF "BIPOC":https://www.nytimes.com/article/what-is-bipoc.htmlRECOURSES ON HOW TO TALK ABOUT RACE:https://www.laniseantoineshelley.com/post/copy-of-literacy-program-for-syrian-girls-refugees

This week it's all me. I discuss healing the inner child and how that has benefited my life. There are many ways to go about it this powerful work. Listen and find out how incredibly useful it can be to acknowledge and connect with ones inner children.REFERENCES:What is An Inner Child & What Does It knowhttps://integrativepsych.co/new-blog/what-is-an-inner-child#:~:text=Your%20%E2%80%9Cinner%20child%E2%80%9D%20is%20a,and%20dreams%20for%20the%20future.10 Exercises to Heal Your Inner Childhttps://psychcentral.com/health/how-to-heal-your-inner-childFinding and Getting to Know The Inner Childhttps://www.healthline.com/health/inner-childJoe Dispenzahttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oFB6KDftGPY Support the showCONNECT WITH HOST:@youngadoptee@lantoineswww.laniseantoineshelley.comDONATE TO THE SHOW:https://ko-fi.com/whentheywereyoungDISCOUNT FOR 15% GUIDE BOOKS:Isaac Etter's IDENTITY (Equipping parents, Empowering Children)Black Hair Care - https://identitylearning.ck.page/products/blkhaircare?promo=WTWY TRA - https://identitylearning.ck.page/products/a-practical-guide-to-tra?promo=WTWY ADOPTEE CONVERSATIONS WITH PARENTS:14 through18, and episode 28, and 29. WATCH PANELS:https://www.facebook.com/USFCH/videos/806431379903046BALDWIN'S ESSAY ON "WHITENESS":https://bannekerinstitute.fas.harvard.edu/files/bannekerinstitute/files/on_being_white.and_other_lies_baldwin_0.pdf HISTORY “Colored”:https://www.npr.org/sections/codeswitch/2014/03/30/295931070/the-journey-from-colored-to-minorities-to-people-of-colorNYC ARTICLE ON THE USE OF "BIPOC":https://www.nytimes.com/article/what-is-bipoc.htmlRECOURSES ON HOW TO TALK ABOUT RACE:https://www.laniseantoineshelley.com/post/copy-of-literacy-program-for-syrian-girls-refugees

Today's guest, Nikki Webster is the illustrator Nikki Often,  heart warming comics that "Punch you in the gut." We discuss the following:Allowing your child to sleep with you for as long as possibleNikki's work comicsWhat is a "miracle of tenacity"How to overcome feelings of not being enough as we both dabble in public speaking. GUEST: Nikki Websterhttps://www.nikkioften.com/@nikkioften Support the showCONNECT WITH HOST:@youngadoptee@lantoineswww.laniseantoineshelley.comDONATE TO THE SHOW:https://ko-fi.com/whentheywereyoungDISCOUNT FOR 15% GUIDE BOOKS:Isaac Etter's IDENTITY (Equipping parents, Empowering Children)Black Hair Care - https://identitylearning.ck.page/products/blkhaircare?promo=WTWY TRA - https://identitylearning.ck.page/products/a-practical-guide-to-tra?promo=WTWY ADOPTEE CONVERSATIONS WITH PARENTS:14 through18, and episode 28, and 29. WATCH PANELS:https://www.facebook.com/USFCH/videos/806431379903046BALDWIN'S ESSAY ON "WHITENESS":https://bannekerinstitute.fas.harvard.edu/files/bannekerinstitute/files/on_being_white.and_other_lies_baldwin_0.pdf HISTORY “Colored”:https://www.npr.org/sections/codeswitch/2014/03/30/295931070/the-journey-from-colored-to-minorities-to-people-of-colorNYC ARTICLE ON THE USE OF "BIPOC":https://www.nytimes.com/article/what-is-bipoc.htmlRECOURSES ON HOW TO TALK ABOUT RACE:https://www.laniseantoineshelley.com/post/copy-of-literacy-program-for-syrian-girls-refugees

Today's guest is the author, film maker and coach, Anne Heffron. Anne wrote  “You Don't Look Adopted,” “Making a Mess: Writing and Pooping,” “Truth Agency: Writing Ideas for people who were adopted,” and she co-wrote the film “Phantom Halo.” Anne facilitates writing workshops and retreats designed to empower, instill confidence and make people excited to be alive.We discuss:Approaching life and trauma from an angleAdoptee's relationship with Enough-ness and financial securityHow yoga and other healing modalities have shaped our livesWhat it means to be extraordinary vs ordinaryGUEST: Anne Heffronhttps://www.anneheffron.com/ Support the showCONNECT WITH HOST:@youngadoptee@lantoineswww.laniseantoineshelley.comDONATE TO THE SHOW:https://ko-fi.com/whentheywereyoungDISCOUNT FOR 15% GUIDE BOOKS:Isaac Etter's IDENTITY (Equipping parents, Empowering Children)Black Hair Care - https://identitylearning.ck.page/products/blkhaircare?promo=WTWY TRA - https://identitylearning.ck.page/products/a-practical-guide-to-tra?promo=WTWY ADOPTEE CONVERSATIONS WITH PARENTS:14 through18, and episode 28, and 29. WATCH PANELS:https://www.facebook.com/USFCH/videos/806431379903046BALDWIN'S ESSAY ON "WHITENESS":https://bannekerinstitute.fas.harvard.edu/files/bannekerinstitute/files/on_being_white.and_other_lies_baldwin_0.pdf HISTORY “Colored”:https://www.npr.org/sections/codeswitch/2014/03/30/295931070/the-journey-from-colored-to-minorities-to-people-of-colorNYC ARTICLE ON THE USE OF "BIPOC":https://www.nytimes.com/article/what-is-bipoc.htmlRECOURSES ON HOW TO TALK ABOUT RACE:https://www.laniseantoineshelley.com/post/copy-of-literacy-program-for-syrian-girls-refugees

Today I speak with Isaac Etter, a social entrepreneur, transracial adoptee, founder of  Identity a startup focused on using technology to help foster and adoptive families thrive, and the owner of a small business strategy agency called, Etter Consulting. Identity is dedicated to equiping parents so that the children are empowered. GUEST: Isaac Etterhttps://isaacetter.com/RECOURCES:Heart and Mind Therapy15% Discount links below!!! Support the showCONNECT WITH HOST:@youngadoptee@lantoineswww.laniseantoineshelley.comDONATE TO THE SHOW:https://ko-fi.com/whentheywereyoungDISCOUNT FOR 15% GUIDE BOOKS:Isaac Etter's IDENTITY (Equipping parents, Empowering Children)Black Hair Care - https://identitylearning.ck.page/products/blkhaircare?promo=WTWY TRA - https://identitylearning.ck.page/products/a-practical-guide-to-tra?promo=WTWY ADOPTEE CONVERSATIONS WITH PARENTS:14 through18, and episode 28, and 29. WATCH PANELS:https://www.facebook.com/USFCH/videos/806431379903046BALDWIN'S ESSAY ON "WHITENESS":https://bannekerinstitute.fas.harvard.edu/files/bannekerinstitute/files/on_being_white.and_other_lies_baldwin_0.pdf HISTORY “Colored”:https://www.npr.org/sections/codeswitch/2014/03/30/295931070/the-journey-from-colored-to-minorities-to-people-of-colorNYC ARTICLE ON THE USE OF "BIPOC":https://www.nytimes.com/article/what-is-bipoc.htmlRECOURSES ON HOW TO TALK ABOUT RACE:https://www.laniseantoineshelley.com/post/copy-of-literacy-program-for-syrian-girls-refugees

Our guest Emma Stevens is an mother, trainer and the author of "The Gathering Place: An adoptee's Story" and newly released,  "A Fire is Coming." We unpack the uses of the healing modality, EMDR Therapy (eye movement desensitization and reprocessing), and she touches on her tumultuous childhood with her adoptive parents, the gift of learning how to take up space, Benefits of tapping as another tool of healing, how she chose life after years of alcoholism, and how deconstructing belief systems led to writing her book, and thereby teaching her how to help others get unstuck. And finally she breaks down how to self-publish a book, step by step. GUEST: Emma Stevens@Emmastevenswriterhttps://linktr.ee/emmastevenswriter Support the showCONNECT WITH HOST:@youngadoptee@lantoineswww.laniseantoineshelley.comDONATE TO THE SHOW:https://ko-fi.com/whentheywereyoungDISCOUNT FOR 15% GUIDE BOOKS:Isaac Etter's IDENTITY (Equipping parents, Empowering Children)Black Hair Care - https://identitylearning.ck.page/products/blkhaircare?promo=WTWY TRA - https://identitylearning.ck.page/products/a-practical-guide-to-tra?promo=WTWY ADOPTEE CONVERSATIONS WITH PARENTS:14 through18, and episode 28, and 29. WATCH PANELS:https://www.facebook.com/USFCH/videos/806431379903046BALDWIN'S ESSAY ON "WHITENESS":https://bannekerinstitute.fas.harvard.edu/files/bannekerinstitute/files/on_being_white.and_other_lies_baldwin_0.pdf HISTORY “Colored”:https://www.npr.org/sections/codeswitch/2014/03/30/295931070/the-journey-from-colored-to-minorities-to-people-of-colorNYC ARTICLE ON THE USE OF "BIPOC":https://www.nytimes.com/article/what-is-bipoc.htmlRECOURSES ON HOW TO TALK ABOUT RACE:https://www.laniseantoineshelley.com/post/copy-of-literacy-program-for-syrian-girls-refugees

Today's guest, Patrick Armstrong (he/him) discusses  creating his podcasts and what that entails, how he builds empathy with and for the community outside of the adoption constellation, and how "adoptee" is an identity that one inhabits. We also delve into what differentiates an activist from advocate and how he navigates the construct of "whiteness". Patrick is an adoptee from Korea, a  podcaster, speaker, and community facilitator. He is one of the hosts of the Janchi Show, a podcast that explores and celebrates the experiences and stories of Korean adoptees . Patrick is a producer and editor on the Dear Asian Americans podcast. He is also the cofounder of the Asian Adoptees of Indiana.GUEST: Patrick ArmstrongWebsite: https://www.patrickintheworld.meInstagram: @patrickintheworldTikTok: @patrickintheworldLinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/patrickintheworldPodcasts:- The Janchi Show (Host)- Dear Asian Americans (Producer)- Conversation Piece with Patrick Armstrong (Host)REFERENCES:Book:Building A Story BrandLewis Howes "School of Greatness" PodcastEpisode 1409 Support the showCONNECT WITH HOST:@youngadoptee@lantoineswww.laniseantoineshelley.comDONATE TO THE SHOW:https://ko-fi.com/whentheywereyoungDISCOUNT FOR 15% GUIDE BOOKS:Isaac Etter's IDENTITY (Equipping parents, Empowering Children)Black Hair Care - https://identitylearning.ck.page/products/blkhaircare?promo=WTWY TRA - https://identitylearning.ck.page/products/a-practical-guide-to-tra?promo=WTWY ADOPTEE CONVERSATIONS WITH PARENTS:14 through18, and episode 28, and 29. WATCH PANELS:https://www.facebook.com/USFCH/videos/806431379903046BALDWIN'S ESSAY ON "WHITENESS":https://bannekerinstitute.fas.harvard.edu/files/bannekerinstitute/files/on_being_white.and_other_lies_baldwin_0.pdf HISTORY “Colored”:https://www.npr.org/sections/codeswitch/2014/03/30/295931070/the-journey-from-colored-to-minorities-to-people-of-colorNYC ARTICLE ON THE USE OF "BIPOC":https://www.nytimes.com/article/what-is-bipoc.htmlRECOURSES ON HOW TO TALK ABOUT RACE:https://www.laniseantoineshelley.com/post/copy-of-literacy-program-for-syrian-girls-refugees

We start this season off with a one-on-one "calling in." I talk about the adverse affects of conflict avoidance and the true promise of accountability.REFERENCES:Victoria Albina "Feminine Wellness"https://victoriaalbina.com/podcast/Calling In vs calling Outhttps://edib.harvard.edu/files/dib/files/calling_in_and_calling_out_guide_v4.pdf?m=1625683246 Support the showCONNECT WITH HOST:@youngadoptee@lantoineswww.laniseantoineshelley.comDONATE TO THE SHOW:https://ko-fi.com/whentheywereyoungDISCOUNT FOR 15% GUIDE BOOKS:Isaac Etter's IDENTITY (Equipping parents, Empowering Children)Black Hair Care - https://identitylearning.ck.page/products/blkhaircare?promo=WTWY TRA - https://identitylearning.ck.page/products/a-practical-guide-to-tra?promo=WTWY ADOPTEE CONVERSATIONS WITH PARENTS:14 through18, and episode 28, and 29. WATCH PANELS:https://www.facebook.com/USFCH/videos/806431379903046BALDWIN'S ESSAY ON "WHITENESS":https://bannekerinstitute.fas.harvard.edu/files/bannekerinstitute/files/on_being_white.and_other_lies_baldwin_0.pdf HISTORY “Colored”:https://www.npr.org/sections/codeswitch/2014/03/30/295931070/the-journey-from-colored-to-minorities-to-people-of-colorNYC ARTICLE ON THE USE OF "BIPOC":https://www.nytimes.com/article/what-is-bipoc.htmlRECOURSES ON HOW TO TALK ABOUT RACE:https://www.laniseantoineshelley.com/post/copy-of-literacy-program-for-syrian-girls-refugees

I want to breakdown why and what I mean by "Where can you apply courage?" and "Courage, my love." This word is the the bedrock of this work, so let's find out why. www.laniseantoineshelley.com@youngadoptee@lantoinesReferences:Brene BrownWilliam Ernest Henley "Invictus" Support the show

Today's guest is Sandy Whitehawk who is the Executive Director at First Nations Repatriation Institute. She and I take the gloves off with this one. We discuss white supremacy in indigenous communities, Systematic removal and problematic placements of adoptees, changing of adoptee names, and what unconditional love looks like. The mainstream doesn't talk about what happens when the adoptee is adopted into an unsafe or unsupportive household. You hear stories of re-homing because the child had special needs or didn't get along with the biblical children, but conversely the adoptive child's perspective is just as valuable and needs to be brought to the forefront. www.laniseantoineshelley.com@lantoines@youngadopteeDONATE TO THE SHOW:https://ko-fi.com/whentheywereyoungGuest: Sandy Whitehawkhttps://www.bloodmemorydoc.com/voices Support the show

Julie McGue graces my podcast today. We talk about the journey she took to write the extraordinary memoir, “Twice A Daughter” with her twin sister. Julie and I delve into the challenge of asking adoptive parents for adoption information, and how important it is to know your medical history. She also found some kismet moments where writing her story opened new up conversations and opportunities for healingwww.laniseantoineshelley.com@lantoines@youngadopteeGuest:https://juliemcgueauthor.com/Angela Rye:Comments on Supreme Court ruling on abortion:https://www.instagram.com/tv/CfM3g_qDgYs/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_linkAmand Wooston (Episode 10):https://www.instagram.com/amandawoolstonadoption/?hl=enMelissa Guida Richards (Episode 6):https://www.instagram.com/adoptee_thoughts/?hl=enDr. Cam Lee Smalls:https://www.instagram.com/therapyredeemed/?hl=en Support the show

My guest today is  Lina Vanegas who is an advocate for Displaced adoptee rights, mental health awareness, suicide prevention and is also the co-host of the podcast “Rescripting The Narrative”. We discuss how war is a prime opportunity for displaced children ending up in the adoption cycle, what advocacy can looking like in the adoption community, and suicide preventions for adoptees. www.laniseantoineshelley.com@lantoines@youngadopteeGuest:Lina Venegas@linaleadswithlove Rescripting The Narrative Podcasthttps://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/rescripting-the-narrative/id1577193193

Our guest today, Sara Easterly  is an author and essayist who wrote a spiritual memoir called “Searching for Mom”. She writes about adoption, parenting, and grief through the lens of her Christian faith.  We go into how using faith to justify adoption can make adoptees feel alienated  and insignificant by framing adoption as a “blessing”. And her answer to my final  question “where to apply courage” was one of my favorites. Let's lean in!  www.laniseantoineshelley.com@youngadoptee@lantoinesAdoptee Conversations with parents:14 through18 and episode 28 and 29. Guest: Sara Easterlyhttps://saraeasterly.com/

Today, Jill Ashley Hoffman helps me unpack cultural programing and conditioning around relationship with food, learning how food can be medicine and addressing thyroid disorders. Jill is a healing artist; Reiki healer, Health coach, thyroid health coach, graphic designer and #1 Best selling Co-author. Jill is here to guide us towards a healthier and holistic path. I'm so about this conversation, y'all! Let's lean in. www.laniseantoineshelley.com@lantoines@youngadopteeGuest:https://jillashleyhoffman.com/@embodydmentor

This week in light of all the collective heart-breaks I wanted check in with everyone. How is your heart? My guest is the perfect person to share space in this tender moment.  She is such a light in this world, as a mentor and adoptive parent herself. She helps to shatter the myth that BIPOC people don't adopt--they do! And she just happens to be an adoptee to boot. We chat about  how being a Korean adoptee informed her path as an adoptive parent of a little black boy and how people reference her story when talking about adoption. When you listen you'll know why! www.laniseantoineshelley.com@youngadoptee@lantoinesGuest:https://www.brandiebersole.com/

Schai Schairer returns to talk about Haitian Heritage Month! Listen as we fellowship on what this month means to us! We discuss reclaiming our Haitian culture as interracial adoptees, building identity by immersing ourselves in various communities, and celebrating our advocacies. The authenticity of our friendship made it difficult to end this episode. We hope you enjoy hearing our vibrant conversation on our country of origin: Haiti! www.laniseantoineshelley.com @lantoines @youngadoptee  Guest: Schai Schairer www.fistdc.org/ team IG: @diabolically.haitianFB: Schai Schairer

Kevin Hofmann is biracial who was adopted into a White family. Listen as he uses humor to discuss the sense of belonging, imposter syndrome, and identity. His candid experiences are written in his book, “Growing Up Black in White” in which he further explores dealing with racial tensions, his loving family, and developing into a trainer to teach others various ways to coexist with someone different than you. Get ready to be encouraged while you laugh!www.laniseantoineshelley.com@lantoines@youngadopteeGuest: Kevin Hofmannhttps://www.growingupblackinwhite.com/aboutIG: @kevininclusion

We've all heard of the "Better life narrative" where people tell you that no matter what your present circumstances are they are better than your pre-adoption life. Well, that's not true nor is it healthy to perpetuate. My guest Mindy Stern and I break down why!www.laniseantoineshelley.com@youngadoptee@lantoinesGuest:Mindy Stern@minster12

Today I go solo to give you some key things that helped me survive this monstrous year. It is all about a higher quality of life, my beloveds.www.laniseantoineshelley.com@lantoines@youngadopteeJournel Prompt:What am I feeling this way?What can I do to shift this circumstance?Write 5 things that you're grateful for. Write 5 lessons that you are learning from this situation.Mind Love:https://www.mindlove.com/Cathy Heller:https://www.dontkeepyourdayjob.com/To Be Magnetic:https://tobemagnetic.com/expanded-podcastCold/Fever:1 Whole lemon1 tsp of Turmeric powder or fresh root2 TBS of Apple Cider Vinegar1 Whole onion (cut in quarters1 packet of Gypsy Cold tea6 lobes of garlic (eat one piece raw)1 TBS of ginger rootPinch of clovesBring to a boil and simmer for 15 minutes & flourish!

Today's episode has Lydia Fay Berkey, who is an interracial adoptee. You'll hear Lydia discuss how to build an Instagram presence, how Maslow's hierarchy of needs applies to transracial adoptees, how to protect your peace, and the struggle to decolonize Eurocentric beauty standards. The infectious laugher of Lydia will make it easy to stay engaged as she discusses her development into her authentic self who is now working as an Adoption Case Worker. Hearing her passion for the adoption community explains her success on Instagram where she continues to speak her truth, helps adoptees heal, and educates adoptive parents.  www.laniseantoineshelley.com@youngadoptee@lantoinesGuest: Lydia Fay Berkeyhttps://becominglydiafaye.wixsite.com/lydiafayeIG: becominglydiafaye (Formerly @Adoptee2adoptionworker)

www.laniseantoineshelley.com@lantoines@youngadopteeEdward Di Gangihttps://www.digangiauthor.com/about-my-book

We launch this season with a discussion on what it means to be stuck in a drama triangle where you're constantly playing either the role of victim, prosecutor or rescuers. Adoptee, friend and biological aunt, Dr. Juliana Olson Deans helps me unpack it all. The world at large is definitely stuck in at least one of these mindsets,  but you don't have to stay stuck. Let's figure out how!Differentiation of Self:https://www.thebowencenter.org/differentiation-of-selfhttps://www.goodtherapy.org/famous-psychologists/murray-bowen.html@youngadoptee@lantoineswww.laniseantoineshelley.com

We're back! Come join me this Saturday for another round. I'm so excited!@youngadoptee@lantoineswww.laniseantoineshelley.com

Today in this solo episode I wanted to talk to you about lost languages. I stumbled across this article called  “Forgotten First Languages Leave An Imprint On The Brain.” For those of you feeling overwhelmed (like me) with the idea of re-learning your mother-tongue this article gave me so much comfort and hope. www.laniseantoineshelley.com@lantoines@youngadopteeAdoptees who taught themselves their native language:Jacob Taylor Mosquera from Colombia ep.39William Uhlaub from Haiti ep.8Book:Embers in the Ashes by Sabaa TahirArticlehttps://www.myenglishlanguage.com/2017/01/29/forgotten-first-languages-leave-imprint-on-brain/?fbclid=IwAR3TFhD8CRV-3mm_65sXzz1z7dC9oevfJSKMOl-aaTFgcZQtvR3CY-19UWYIntro Outro

Jacob Taylor Mosquera is a Colombian adoptee who taught himself Spanish in two years and now teaches Spanish in Seattle. He is the author of, “I Met Myself In October: A Memoir of Belonging.” He shares his extraordinary  journey of discovery, self-actualization and identity. This is going to be a good one! www.laniseantoineshelley.com@lantoines@youngadopteeGuest: Jacob Taylor Mosquerahttps://www.imetmyselfmemoir.com/Intro Outro

Our guest today is Astrid Castro. You've heard me talk about how much I love the phrase “The Adoptee Constellation” before, and I first heard it from her. Astrid's works in both the private and public sectors of various adoption organizations such the Oregon Post Adoption Resource Center (ORPARC), Holt International, Rocky Mountain Adoption Exchange to name just a few. She is the creator of The Adoptee Mosaic which is a platform for compassionate, informed education, training and resources to the adoption constellation/community. This was such an illuminating conversation-- let's go!www.laniseantoineshelley.com@yaoungadoptee@lantoinesGuest: Astrid Castrohttps://astridcastroconsulting.com/Intro Outro

Today's guest who has one of the gentlest spirits I've ever encountered. Moses Farrow is a very active activists and a long time family therapist. In this conversation he gives some actionable steps to come back to yourself and begin the work to reconnecting with who you are. Moses Farrow is an advocate for mental health, adoption reform and suicide prevention.www.laniseantoineshelley.com@lantoines@youngadopteeGuest: Moses Farrow#truthislouderhttps://mosesfarrow.com/about-1Websitehttps://mosesfarrow.com/Intro Outro

 The co-founder and executive director of The Adoptee Collective reached out to me about a possible collaboration. She and I instantly hit it off. Heather Enright is not an adoptee but has an in-depth perspective having worked as a social worker for 19 years. After watching my panel series she had the intuitive ping to leave her current job and start a journey as an advocacy for adoptee . The first thing she said to me was, “I wait to be invited to the table, I don't expect a seat.” My mind was blown—Such grace and humility from a non-adoptee! She Started The Adoptee Collective with Kara Donaldson, who is an adoptee. Their organization is built on all the different entry points of adoption. The Adoptee Collective acknowledges the adoptee constellation and how with  diverse perspectives all aiming at the same destination, they can reform the system. Powerful stuff, right? Now you know why I brought both of these amazing women to chat today to strategize on how we're going to change the world.www.laniseantoineshelley.com@youngadopee@lantoineshttps://www.theadopteecollective.com/Name drop:Brene BrownKaryn Purvis https://child.tcu.edu/#sthash.Jsdp6jZI.dpbsIntro Outro

This conversation is incredibly important if you have a child of another race, if your family is of another race,  or if you live on this planet. You will walk away more informed. My guest Issac Etter is an incredible educator, consultant, speaker, activist and social entrepreneur.  He's the co-founder of SafeHouse Lancaster, where he is the co-executive director. Isaac also serves on the board of directors for The Keystone Business Alliance.www.laniseantoineshelley.com@lantoines@youngadopteeGuest:Isaac Etterhttps://isaacetter.com/Intro Outro

This week is a solo episode to share some actionable steps to unlearn perfectionism. This is something that I am constantly working on and have finally gained some ground on through meditation and thought work. I've included some links to people who've helped me along the way. www.laniseantoineshelley.com@lantoines@youngadopteeJoe Dispenza:https://youtu.be/oFB6KDftGPYVictory Albino:https://victoriaalbina.com/Intro Outro

Today's episode takes a deep dive into my perfectionism, boundaries and people pleasing. I did not intend for it to play out that way, but when I met Amy Geller, today's guest, I was disarmed. She has a magical, Jedi way of getting down to the root of the issue in a matter of minutes—I could have spoken with her for hours. I can see why she is so successful in her work helping clients through depression, anxiety, trauma, grief, loss and adoption. Amy is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Professional Advocate Member Association for Training and Attachment in Children, and a member of Member: American Adoption Congress.  Amy truly has a gift for listening, healing and guiding into deeper a awareness. www.laniseantoineshelley.com@youngadoptee@lantoinesGuest: Amy Gellerhttps://www.amygellerlcsw.com/Intro Outro

I lost my grandmother, and my aunt Juliana lost her mother about a month ago.We asked Dr. Charmaine Borda to interview myself and my biological aunt, Dr Juliana  Olson- Deans, because Charmaine is a close friend of Juliana's and I have loved getting to know her this last year. Both of these women are adoptees who work as clinical psychologists in the world— they have a beautifully 3 dimension view of the trauma, truth and the healing that encases adoption.I'm deeply grateful that they have returned yet again to impart wisdom and sister ship. @youngadoptee@lantoineswww.laniseantoineshelley.comIntro Outro

I just wanted to check in with you on all the things happening in my life, and give you some tricks to overcome even the deepest sorrow. @youngadoptee@lantoineswww.laniseantoineshelley.com