Minds and Mics

In this episode of Minds & Mics, I chat with Dr. Daniel Erichsen about better sleep for high-achievers.

In this episode of Minds & Mics, I chat with Liz Fosslien about her new book, Big Feelings: How to Be Okay When Things Are Not Okay. We cover topics like perfectionism vs healthy striving, the difference between envy and jealousy, burnout and the Amazon Zen Booth, revenge bedtime procrastination, and the role of personal responsibility in mental health.Show Notes The dark side of “coping” with difficult feelings No Hard Feelings: The Secret Power of Embracing Emotions at Work Jealousy vs envy Benign vs malicious envy The role of personal responsibility in mental health The Amazon Zen Booth How organizations can actually help foster well-being and resilience The relationships between burnout and self-awareness Why setting boundaries is so hard (and how to make it a little easier) Revenge bedtime procrastination Emotional opportunity cost Perfectionism and self-kindness Healthy striving vs perfectionism The benefits of playfulness Learn more about Liz and her work here: Big Feelings: How to Be Okay When Things Are Not Okay (book) LizandMollie.com (website) Get New Episodes FirstLearn more about the Minds & Mics podcast here, including how to subscribe and get all my newest episodes as soon as they're released.

In this episode of Minds & Mics, I chat with Dr. Steve Hayes, the founder of Acceptance & Commitment Therapy (ACT). We talk about everything from the importance of psychological flexibility and emotional tolerance to the future of psychotherapy and what to look for in a great therapist.Show Notes Psychological flexibility Psychological rigidity Social anxiety and panic attacks Where does self-judgment and negative self-talk come from? The psychological function of religion and wisdom traditions Emotional tolerance 3rd wave behavior therapy, process-based therapy, and the future of psychotherapy What to look for in a good therapist  2nd wave humanistic therapy Learn more about Steve and his work here: The Liberated Mind (Book) Steven C Hayes (website) Get New Episodes FirstLearn more about the Minds & Mics podcast here, including how to subscribe and get all my newest episodes as soon as they're released.

In the latest episode of Minds & Mics, I chatted with Michael Bungay Stanier about his new book How to Begin: Start Doing Something That Matters and a range of topics, including the obligation we all have to be "doubly ambitious," why SMART goals aren't usually very smart, the case for working in 6-week cycles, and the genius of cartoonist Gary Larson.Show Notes What makes a book useful? The Coaching Habit Being “doubly ambitious”  How to think about overwhelm: realistic, consistent, grace  Working in 6-week cycles Why Michael hates SMART goals Should we follow our passion?  Relaxing into commitment Prizes and punishments of maintaining the status quo The Call of the Wild (Gary Larson) The value of the humble pros and cons list Learn more about Michael and his work here: How to Begin: Start Doing Something That Matters (Book) Michael's Website Get New Episodes FirstLearn more about the Minds & Mics podcast here, including how to subscribe and get all my newest episodes as soon as they're released.

Kai Koch is the co-founder of ahead, which is a software company and app for building emotional intelligence. We talk about the opportunities and challenges for technology in emotional health, self-awareness, emotional intelligence in organizations, and what the future of technology-assisted emotional health might look like.Show Notes The unique benefits of mobile technology for emotional health Making self-awareness social Making personal growth social Emotional granularity Emotional intelligence in organizations The future of technology for emotional health Learn more about Kai and his work here: Ahead App Self-Awareness Test Get New Episodes FirstLearn more about the Minds & Mics podcast here, including how to subscribe and get all my newest episodes as soon as they're released.

Sleep psychologist Dr. Jade Wu returns to the show to talk specifically about sleep issues for new moms, including what's normal and what should be addressed professionally, how sleep and postpartum depression interact, intrusive thoughts and anxiety, and some practical tips for new moms to get their sleep back on track.Show Notes How sleep changes in pregnancy and postpartum Sleep deprivation vs circadian disruptions Types of sleep disturbances that predict postpartum depression Tips for minimizing sleep issues as a new parent How much to nap as a new mom What old-school pediatricians get wrong about sleep with new babies Parasomnias in pregnancy and postpartum Exploding head syndrome Sleep paralysis Postpartum anxiety REM rebound and nightmares Intrusive thoughts Sleep apnea and sleep-disordered breathing Poor sleep and postpartum depression  Learn more about Jade and her work here: Website: JadeWuPHD.com Twitter: @jadewuphd Get New Episodes FirstLearn more about the Minds & Mics podcast here, including how to subscribe and get all my newest episodes as soon as they're released.

Jade and I chat about uncommon sleep misconceptions, how to deal with nightmares, intergenerational sleep trauma, the problem with sleep hygiene, and the message about sleep Jade wants carved on her gravestone.Show Notes Uncommon sleep myths and misconceptions My other chat about sleep myths with Dr. Daniel Erichsen Better Sleep with insomnia coach Martin Reed Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Insomnia (CBT-I) Conditioned arousal Bed time vs rise time How much deep sleep do you actually need? What causes nightmares? The behavioral model of nightmares and imagery rehearsal therapy  Parasomnias Sleep and social justice Intergenerational sleep trauma The problem with sleep hygiene Tired vs sleepy The message about sleep Jade wants carved on her gravestone Learn more about Jade and her work here: Website: JadeWuPHD.com Twitter: @jadewuphd Get New Episodes FirstLearn more about the Minds & Mics podcast here, including how to subscribe and get all my newest episodes as soon as they're released.

In this episode of Minds & Mics, I talk with author Nir Eyal about the relationship between technology use and wellbeing among children, parenting in the age of social media, and the virtues of getting out of your kids' way.Show NotesHere are some of the highlights from our conversation: Common misconceptions about kids and technology use Why screen time is a pointless metric What's really behind increased rates of suicide and depression among kids? The mental health benefits of technology Root vs proximate cause of technology overuse Psychological nutrients Deci and Ryan's self-determination theory The importance of free play The Gardener and the Carpenter by Alison Gropnik Variable reinforcement Play Anything by Ian Bogost Mindset by Carol Dweck Why consistent family meals are so important Implementation intentions and timeboxing You can learn more about Nir and his work here: NirAndFar (Wesbite) Indistractable: How to Control Your attention and Choose Your Life (Book) Get New Episodes FirstLearn more about the Minds & Mics podcast here, including how to subscribe and get all my newest episodes as soon as they're released.

In this episode of Minds & Mics, I talk with psychologist and author Pia Callesen about overthinking and the metacognitive approach to emotional struggles like anxiety and depression.Show NotesHere are some of the highlights from our conversation: What is overthinking, exactly? Types of overthinking The 2 reasons why we overthink The difference between anxious and depressive overthinking Overthinking as a universal mechanism for emotional suffering Scheduled overthinking Metacognitive Therapy vs traditional Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) Metacognitive Therapy vs Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) The busy train station metaphor The windowpane experiment The problem with coping skills How will psychotherapy be different in 50 years? You can learn more about Pia and her work here: Pia's website Pia's book: Live More Think Less: Overcoming Depression and Sadness with Metacognitive Therapy Pia's article on overthinking in Psyche: How to Stop Overthinking Get New Episodes FirstLearn more about the Minds & Mics podcast here, including how to subscribe and get all my newest episodes as soon as they're released

In this episode of Minds & Mics, I talk with my friend Rosie Sherry about how she made the news for being a "reckless" parent, her distinctive approach to unschooling her kids, authenticity and vulnerability on social media, and what it means to practice self-care as a full-time community builder and mother of five.Show NotesHere are some of the highlights from our conversation: Unschooling The struggle to treat each child as they need How Rosie thinks about self-care Dealing with self-care guilt, especially as a mom Barriers to women and mom breaking into the world of IndieHacking How to encourage communities to be more vulnerable Surprising things Rosie as a creator struggles with Encouraging authenticity over cleverness on social media Rosie's advice to follow visions and missions, not people You can learn more about Rosie and her work here: Rosieland Rosie on Twitter Get New Episodes FirstLearn more about the Minds & Mics podcast here, including how to subscribe and get all my newest episodes as soon as they're released

In this episode of Minds & Mics, I talk with Jay Clouse, the creator and host of one of my favorite podcasts, Creative Elements. Jay and I get into the details of creative overwhelm and burnout and how Jay manages it.Show NotesHere are some of the highlights from our conversation: What does overwhelm actually look like for Jay? Hard works as a response to feeling overwhelmed Respect for deadlines as a core part of Jay's identity Jay's approach to “de-scoping” his schedule and task list to combat overwhelm Underestimating the maintenance cost of evergreen products The investment banker and the fisherman How does Jay think about work-life balance and what enough looks like? Why it's so hard to say no and let go? Cultural pressure to keep doing more and never let go How Jay thinks about self-care and what it looks like when the “red light” is flashing. What it looks like to really show up emotionally for important people in his life. Has being a podcaster and community builder made Jay a better listener in his personal life? Jays biggest insecurity as a creator You can learn more about Jay and his work here: JayClouse.com (website) Creative Elements (podcast) Podcast Like the Pros (course) Upside (podcast) Get New Episodes FirstLearn more about the Minds & Mics podcast here, including how to subscribe and get all my newest episodes as soon as they're released

Oliver Burkeman joins me to talk about the problem with the narrow concept of time management and how we mere mortals ought to think about managing our time instead.Show Notes Time management for 4-year-olds The narrow vs broad meaning of time management The importance trap and the temptation to “clear the decks” Anti-skills, negative capability, and the superpower that is emotional tolerance The Antidote: Happiness for People Who Can't Stand Positive Thinking Elizabeth Gilbert's Big Magic The relationship between expectations and control David Kane's Raptitude Weirdly modern conceptions of time Meditation teacher Joseph Goldstein Are all expectations unhealthy? Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance The case for wasting time and atelic activities Oliver's to-do list recommendations Cal Newport's Deep Work James Hollis' Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life Susan Jeffers' Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway and Embracing Uncertainty What's wrong with the self-help genre? The wounded healer Jesse Singal and cranky self-help David Brook's The Second Mountain Marilynne Robinson “Will this choice enlarge me or diminish me?” Douglas Harding's On Having No Head Seneca's On the Shortness of Life Mary Oliver: “Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” Learn more about Oliver and his work here: Oliver's book: Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals Oliver's website and (excellent) weekly newsletter: OliverBurkeman.com Get New Episodes FirstLearn more about the Minds & Mics podcast here, including how to subscribe and get all my newest episodes as soon as they're released.

Emma McAdam is a licensed marriage and family therapist as well as the host of the popular YouTube channel, Therapy in a Nutshell. In today's episode, Emma and I talk about emotional processing and the most important ideas and skills we can learn to manage painful feelings in a healthy and productive way.Show Notes What is emotional processing? Why is emotional processing important? Wilderness therapy Why is it so hard to talk about our feelings? Primary vs secondary emotions Basic emotional processing skills Feeling emotions in our bodies Emotional check-ins Intellectualizing emotions Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) The importance of willingness Big Magic and the Fear Monster by Liz Gilbert Values-based decision-making The meaning of emotions Emotional confusion Learn more about Emma and her work here: Therapy in a Nutshell (YouTube) Website Get New Episodes FirstLearn more about the Minds & Mics podcast here, including how to subscribe and get all my newest episodes as soon as they're released.

Dr. Christian Jarrett joins me on the show to discuss the science of personality change and to what extent we can deliberately modify our own personality.Show Notes What is personality, exactly? The Big 5 Theory of Personality  What makes a personality theory valid? How writing a book changed how Christian sees personality What are the mechanisms of significant personality shifts? Personality adaptability Neuroticism Are certain personality traits good or bad? Healthy or pathological? The most underrated principle for effective personality change Are we really the average of the five people we spend the most time around? The Michelangelo Effect Order effects in personality change: Inside out or outside in? Learn more about Christian and his work here: PsychologyWriter.org.uk (Personal Website) Twitter Psyche Magazine Get New Episodes FirstLearn more about the Minds & Mics podcast here, including how to subscribe and get all my newest episodes as soon as they’re released.

In this episode of Minds & Mics, I talk with Martin Reed, a health coach who specializes in helping clients with insomnia and sleep issues. Show NotesHere are some of the highlights from our conversation: Martin’s own struggles with insomnia and how they led him to become an insomnia educator and coach Coaching vs therapy for insomnia and sleep issues The dangers of insomnia “communities” Similarities in what causes insomnia What makes a case of insomnia “extreme”? Sleep trauma The one thing Martin wishes people would do for better sleep health Misguided cultural messages around sleep The future of sleep health Something Martin’s changed his mind about recently about sleep and insomnia How Martin deals with occasional bouts of poor sleep You can learn more about Martin and his work here: InsomniaCoach.com (Website) Martin on YouTube Martin on Twitter Get New Episodes FirstLearn more about the Minds & Mics podcast here, including how to subscribe and get all my newest episodes as soon as they’re released.

Leadership coach Melody Wilding joins Nick to talk about overcoming imposter syndrome and how to thrive as a sensitive striver.

Science journalist Jesse Singal joins me on the show to talk about the dangers of fad psychology, including myths and misconceptions about positive psychology, the self-esteem movement, deceptive media coverage of popular behavioral science research, the replication crisis in academic psychology, and more.

Designer and author Fred Dust joins me on the show to discuss how we can use principles from design to have better, more impactful conversations.

Nick chats with Herbert Lui about practical ways to exercise your creativity.

Caitlin Faas returns to the show to talk about life coaching—what it is, how it works, how it helps, and common misconceptions.

Lodro Rinzler returns to the show to talk about how a Buddhist perspective on anxiety can help us through difficult times.

Dr. Sarah Sarkis joins me on the show to talk about the adaptive unconscious, self-sabotaging behavior, attachment patterns, and therapy vs performance coaching.

Dr. Margaret Rutherford joins me on the show to talk about perfectly hidden depression, perfectionism, and the challenges of emotional vulnerability.

Nick talks to professional mediator Dr. Adar Cohen about how we can have difficult conversations more effectively.

In this episode, I talk with author, teacher, and life writing coach Uddipana Goswami about her practice and how it's helped her to process and cope with emotional struggles in her life.

Tim Stoddart joins me on the show to talk about his journey out of addiction and into entrepreneurship—and how blogging played a pivotal role.

Getting clarity about how to make a career transition with Lisa Lewis.

Lodro Rinzler is an experienced meditation teacher and the author of many books, including my favorite book about meditation, Sit Like a Buddha: A Pocket Guide to Meditation. In today's episode, I chat with Lodro about how to think differently about meditation, some of the unexpected benefits of meditating, and what you need to know to get a consistent meditation practice off the ground.

Scott Young is a prolific writer and thinker best known for his concept of ultralearning. In today's episode, I pick Scott's brain about what ultralearning actually is and the many psychological benefits that come with it.

Child psychologist Kristen Ohlenforst comes on the show to discuss childhood anxiety, followed up by a no-holds-barred round-robin between Nick and Kristen recounting their own "embarrassing blunders" and "tricks of the trade" as psychologist-parents.

Philosopher Alexus McLeod comes on the show to discuss ancient Chinese philosophy and what it can tell us about alternative approaches to mental health today.

Psychiatrist Brian Wu comes on the show to discuss how to think about psychiatric medication.

Piers Steel, one of the world's leading researchers on the science of procrastination, explains how to think about procrastination, what really causes it, and the changes we can make to do it a little less.

Clinical psychologist and marriage therapist Sam Hamburg joins Nick to discuss common myths and misconceptions about happy marriages, communication in relationships, and the advice all newlyweds should get but never do.

Psychologist and researcher Yvonne Barnes-Holmes joins Nick to discuss the role of language in mental health and human suffering, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, and the state of psychotherapy in the 21st century.

Caitlin Faas, a professor of human development and life coach, joins Nick to discuss the psychology of overeating.

Gregg Krech, an expert in a form of Japanese psychology called Morita Therapy, discusses how to think differently about the role of emotions in mental health and the surprising power of taking action to improve things like anxiety, procrastination, and depression.

Neuroscience researcher and author Brian Pennie reflects on his 15-year addiction to heroin and how he managed to not only survive those harrowing years but to come out of it and build a life he loves.

Dr. Randy Paterson guides us through the ins and outs of assertive communication, explaining why it's essential for healthy, happy relationships in work, love, and life.

Nick and Daniel trade off describing their favorite myths and misconceptions about insomnia and sleep.

Nick and Traci separate myth from reality on the topic of hypnosis and discuss what clinical hypnosis can actually be useful for.

Nick and Tom discuss different ways of thinking about addiction and why it matters for tackling one of the world's most important challenges.

Nick and Daron discuss what mindfulness is exactly and how to incorporate more mindfulness into your own life.