Podcast appearances and mentions of randy paterson

What if the ability to negotiate with a hostage-taker was also a skill that could improve relationships in everyday life? Gary Noesner, who is a former FBI chief negotiator and author of 'Stalling for Time,' which deep dives into his experiences and the lessons he's learned about human nature and effective communication over his 30-year career, joins Yael for this episode. You'll hear how patience, empathy, and active listening aren't just crisis tools; they're essential for everyday connection too. Gary also reflects on the evolution of negotiation tactics, the significance of emotional control, and the value of building genuine relationships. Listen and Learn:  How active listening transformed hostage negotiation, from trading demands to truly hearing the pain beneath Why most hostage-takers aren't criminals but people in crisis, and how listening changes everything How sitting with uncertainty and leading with empathy defuses crises more than force ever could Why slowing down negotiations and investing in human understanding can save lives in high-stakes crises Understanding even the most difficult people can defuse conflict and open the door to real influence The Waco Siege and how it exposed a clash of FBI strategies and what it taught us about negotiation, power, and restraint What strategies do elite negotiators use to maintain composure in high-pressure situations and handle their emotions without assuming undue responsibility? How humility, likability, and relationship-building can defuse conflict at home, work, or in crisis Resources:  Stalling for Time: My Life as an FBI Hostage Negotiator https://garynoesner.com/ Yael's newsletter post about connecting like a hostage negotiator Kate Murphy's book with a profile of Gary: Why Won't You Listen to Me? Jamie Holmes' book with a profile of Gary: Nonsense Connect with Gary on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/gary-noesner-1a2480b Connect with Gary on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Stalling-for-Time/148979708465038 Connect with Gary on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/garynoesner/?hl=en About Gary Noesner:  Gary Noesner retired from the FBI in 2003 following a 30-year career as an investigator, instructor, and negotiator. A significant focus of his career was directed toward investigating Middle East hijackings in which American citizens were victimized. In addition, he was an FBI hostage negotiator for 23 years of his career, retiring as the Chief of the FBI's Crisis Negotiation Unit, Critical Incident Response Group, the first person to hold that position. In that capacity, he was heavily involved in numerous crisis incidents covering prison riots, right-wing militia standoffs, religious zealot sieges, terrorist embassy takeovers, airplane hijackings, and over 120 overseas kidnapping cases involving American citizens. He has written a book about his FBI negotiation career, which was published by Penguin Random House in 2010, entitled Stalling for Time: My Life as an FBI Hostage Negotiator.    The book is being used in part as the basis for a six-part mini-series on Waco that will air on the Paramount Network on January 24, 2018. Related Episodes: 255. Influence is Your Superpower with Zoe Chance 276. Assertive Communication Skills with Randy Paterson 392. Outraged with Kurt Gray 403. Conflict Resilience with Bob Bordone and Joel Salinas Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Success isn't just about how hard you work. It's also about who's advocating for you even when you're not in the room. In this episode, Debbie talks with Rosalind Chow, an associate professor at Carnegie Mellon University, about her new book, The Doors You Can Open A New Way to Network, Build Trust, and Use Your Influence to Create a More Inclusive Workplace.  They get into the real difference between mentorship and sponsorship, why both matter, and how having the right sponsor can completely change the game for your career.  Rosalind shares her perspective on the challenges of systemic racism and inclusion and how being intentional about sponsorship can actually create real opportunities for people who need them. Concluding the interview, Debbie and Yael give their take on what it means to build relationships that open doors, not just for ourselves but for others, too. Listen and Learn:  When systemic solutions fade, what can individuals do? How sponsorship, not mentorship, breaks barriers for marginalized professionals How power dynamics in mentorship can shape careers and why sponsorship may be the real key to success Rethinking networking and how shifting from power moves to collective problem-solving can build real influence Sponsorship vs. mentorship: why trust flows differently, and why sponsors take the biggest career risks Can sponsorship fight bias, or does it reinforce it? How Kristin became the unlikely leader of a program for Black professionals and won over skeptics How sponsoring a colleague led Kristin to a Harvard Business Review article and a career boost Resources:  Rosalind's website: https://www.rosalindchow.com/ The Doors You Can Open: A New Way to Network, Build Trust, and Use Your Influence to Create a More Inclusive Workplace: https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9781541702752 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/rosalind-chow-6b25541b0/ About Rosalind Chow Rosalind Chow is an Associate Professor of Organizational Behavior and Theory at Carnegie Mellon University, where she studies the power of social hierarchy and its impact on diversity and inclusion efforts within organizations. She uses her research expertise to direct executive leadership programs aimed at accelerating participants' careers, with a particular focus on the advancement of women and members of marginalized groups. Her forthcoming book, The Doors You Can Open (PublicAffairs, April 8, 2025), introduces the concept of sponsorship as a way we can use our social connections to change the relationships we have with other people and the relationships that other people have with one another in the service of creating greater communal good. Related Episodes:  299. Leadership and the Changing Workplace with Chris Shipley 290. Shared Sisterhood: Collective Action for Racial and Gender Equity at Work with Tina Opie and Beth Livingston 185. Good Guys: Allies in the Workplace with Brad Johnson and David Smith 389. Generational Differences in the Workplace with Michelle Quist Ryder 357. Is Your Work Worth It? How to Think About Meaningful Work with Jennifer Tosti-Kharas and Christopher Wong Michaelson 347. Job Changes & Career Pivots with Paula Brand  276. Assertive Communication Skills with Randy Paterson  265. The Power of Emotions at Work with Karla McLaren  107. Playing Big with Tara Mohr  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

For years, mattresses and pillows carried a warning tag that said “Warning: Do Not Remove This Tag Under Penalty of Law”. Although they have softened the language a bit, there is still a warning. So why does anyone care if you remove the tag on your own pillow? This episode begins with an explanation. https://www.livescience.com/33039-why-do-mattresses-have-do-not-remove-tags.html As important and natural as sleep is, it is a problem for almost everyone to either fall asleep or stay asleep at least some of the time. Fortunately, sleep is something that has been studied a lot. Joining me to share the latest research on how to improve your sleep is Aric Prather, a world renowned sleep scientist and author of the book The Sleep Prescription: Seven Days to Unlocking Your Best Rest (https://amzn.to/3OKZWC7). You may think you have heard all the sleep advice there is, but I assure you, you haven't heard all of what Aric has to say. Listen and you could find yourself sleeping much better tonight.  What makes someone assertive? Generally, those are the people who seem to know what they want and are able to communicate it clearly. Most of us have been in situations where we wish we were more assertive and said what was really on our mind, but we just weren't able to do it. Here with some advice for everyone who would like to be more assertive is Randy Paterson author of The Assertiveness Handbook: How to Express Your Ideas and Stand Up for Yourself at Work and in Relationships (https://amzn.to/3GNDJ4C).  Seldom does an employee complain that they get too much praise and recognition from their boss. The complaint is usually just the opposite. Yet if an employer is smart, he or she might want to be freer with praise and accolades for their workers when it deserved. Listen as I explain the benefits compliments and positive feedback for both employees and employers. http://www.plosone.org/article/info%3Adoi%2F10.1371%2Fjournal.pone.0048174 PLEASE SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS!!! INDEED:  Get a $75 SPONSORED JOB CREDIT to get your jobs more visibility at https://Indeed.com/SOMETHING  Support our show by saying you heard about Indeed on this podcast.  Terms & conditions apply. AURA: Save on the perfect gift by visiting https://AuraFrames.com to get $35-off Aura's best-selling Carver Mat frames by using promo code SOMETHING at checkout! SHOPIFY:  Sign up for a $1 per-month trial period at https://Shopify.com/sysk . Go to SHOPIFY.com/sysk to grow your business – no matter what stage you're in! MINT MOBILE: Cut your wireless bill to $15 a month at https://MintMobile.com/something! $45 upfront payment required (equivalent to $15/mo.).  New customers on first 3 month plan only. Additional taxes, fees, & restrictions apply. HERS: Hers is changing women's healthcare by providing access to GLP-1 weekly injections with the same active ingredient as Ozempic and Wegovy, as well as oral medication kits. Start your free online visit today at https://forhers.com/sysk DELL: It's your last chance to snag Dell Technologies' lowest prices of the year before the holidays! If you've been waiting for an AI-ready PC, this is their biggest sale of the year! Shop now at https://Dell.com/deals PROGRESSIVE: The Name Your Price tool from Progressive can help you save on car insurance! You just tell Progressive what you want to pay and get options within your budget. Try it today at https://Progressive.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Randy Paterson, in this very critical conversation, brings to light the essential insights and strategies for enduring mental wellness, resilience, and growth. Randy Paterson challenges the prevalent myths and misconceptions in our hyper-informed, social media-driven world, offering invaluable insights into how our narratives and behaviours shape our mental wellness. From exploring the impact of childhood experiences to dissecting the 'failure to launch' phenomenon in young adults, this episode delves deep into the critical aspects of mental health that are often overlooked in traditional discourse. Dr. Paterson also shares practical strategies for managing anxiety, making decisive life choices, and the importance of balancing self-compassion with accountability.  Randy Paterson is a Vancouver-based psychologist and author (The Assertiveness Workbook, How to be Miserable: 40 Strategies You Already Use). He also has a YouTube channel, PsychologySalon.     SHOWNOTES - 00:00:00 - Show Intro 00:00:36 - Guest Intro 00:03:00 - Dr. Paterson's work & The conception of his book "How to Be Miserable: 40 Strategies You Already Use” 00:08:30 - Impact of information abundance on mental health 00:12:50 -  The psychology of victimhood  00:15:30 - The Thought-Behaviour-Emotion Triangle 00:26:20 - Behaviour vs. narrative: Where to begin 00:34:20 - How to cope when you can't change the past 00:38:20 - Failure to launch phenomenon 00:44:20 - Decline in resilience across generations 00:48:30 - Raising successful adults (with the mushy middle!) 00:53:50 - Expanding comfort zones & managing anxiety 01:00:00 - Developing decision-making skills for greater independence 01:02:00 - Self-compassion, accountability, & personal growth 01:06:00 - Cultivating an image vs building real capacity 01:11:45 - Emotional maturity & managing tough emotions 01:15:10 - Self-acceptance and rethinking constant self-improvement. 01:17:40 - Balance emotion with action   CONNECT WITH RANDY PATERSON -  Website - www.randypaterson.com Clinic - www.changeways.com YouTube - http://bit.ly/2VNC9ok   CONNECT WITH ME - Take the EmoPersona Quiz - https://www.kratimehra.com/emopersonaquiz/ Subscribe to the Newsletter - https://www.kratimehra.com/newsletter/ For more, visit - https://www.kratimehra.com/experible/

Embark on a transformative journey as we explore the art of living beyond your comfort zone. While the familiar may be reassuring, the real magic happens when we step outside the confines of what we know. Join us as we share an engaging excerpt from the witty audiobook "How to be Miserable: 40 Strategies You Already Use" by psychologist Dr. Randy Paterson. Discover the art of breaking free from comfort zones and embracing a technicolor life, where new experiences become the canvas of your personal growth. The post The Art of Living Beyond Your Comfort Zone appeared first on Your Great Journey.

It's natural for us to have feelings of anger as we navigate the obstacles of life, but if left unaddressed, they can easily consume us and negatively impact our lives in more ways than one. Forgiveness, on the other hand, can help us let go of anger, improve our mental health, and maintain healthier relationships.  To explore these closely connected topics, we are thrilled to welcome back therapist Robyn Walser, who co-authored The Act Workbook for Anger alongside Manuela O'Connell. Through Robyn's pool of expertise and her own learning history with anger, we discuss the significance of identifying the root cause of anger, in addition to how social messages, context, and cultural influences can contribute to the way we perceive and manage it. Robyn also shows us how to react to and express anger in ways that are more effective and aligned with our core values, and how, through forgiveness, we can restore relationships and pave the way to deeper healing. Join us to glean wisdom for Robyn and embark on a journey of self-discovery and a more fulfilling life! Listen and Learn:  Robyn's learning history of anger as a child and the impact it had  How social messages, culture, and context affect how we understand, express, and perceive anger Why do we experience anger, and why is the emotion itself not necessarily problematic?  How to recognize anger through feelings, physiological sensations, thoughts, and actions The power of expressing anger effectively What does it mean to forgive others and yourself? Resources:  Learn more about Robyn's upcoming training on ACT for Suicidal Behavior Robyn's Healing Trauma with A T Training The Act Workbook for Anger by Robyn Walser and Manuela O'Connell TLConstulation Services Follow Robyn on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook  About Robyn Walser Robyn D. Walser, PhD, works as a consultant, workshop presenter, and therapist in her private business, TLConsultation Services. She received her doctorate in clinical psychology from the University of Nevada, Reno. During her graduate studies, she developed expertise in traumatic stress, substance abuse, and acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT). She has been doing ACT workshop trainings, both nationally and internationally, since 1998, training in multiple formats and for multiple client problems. She is the author of several books, including The ACT Workbook for Anger, Learning ACT, The Heart of ACT, and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy for the Treatment of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder and Trauma-Related Problems.  Related Episodes:  309. The Language of Emotions with Karla McLaren 216. Managing Anger and Irritability, Featuring Russell Kolts 276. Assertive Communication Skills with Randy Paterson  106. Therapy from “The Heart of ACT” with Robyn Walser 138. Exploring Existence and Purpose: Existentialism with Robyn Walser  98. Narcissism with Avigail Lev and Robyn Walser 118. Moral Injury and Shame with Lauren Borges and Jacob Farnsworth 190. ACT for Suicide Prevention with Sean Barnes  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Why do we to do the same things and expect different results? Turns out humans are bad at predicting happiness for themselves. That's the conclusion from Dr. Randy Paterson, author of How to Be Miserable: 40 Strategies You Already Use.  Dr. Paterson joins us this week to discuss how this may be having an impact on our finances and how we might be able to change it. Get the FREE 7-Step Credit Card Debt Slasher guide Get the Credit Card Debt Slasher Toolbox For the resources and to connect with our guests, get the show notes at: https://queermoneypodcast.com/subscribe  Follow us: Queer Money Instagram Queer Money YouTube Queer Money Twitter Queer Money on Tiktok

“Warning: Do Not Remove This Tag Under Penalty of Law”. For many years every pillow and mattress carried a tag with that warning. Today the language isn't quite so harsh, but the warning is still there. Why does anyone care whether or not the tag gets removed from your mattress? Listen as I explain. https://www.livescience.com/33039-why-do-mattresses-have-do-not-remove-tags.html Sleep is a natural part of your life. So why is it sometimes difficult to fall asleep and stay asleep? What is the latest scientific research on how to improve the quality and quantity of your sleep? To explain all this is Aric Prather, a world renowned sleep scientist and author of the book The Sleep Prescription: Seven Days to Unlocking Your Best Rest (https://amzn.to/3OKZWC7). Even if you think you have heard all the conventional wisdom about sleep – you probably haven't heard all of what Aric has to say. Listen today and sleep like a baby tonight.  When you think of assertive people, they are often folks you admire. Most likely that's because they seem to know what they want and are able to communicate it in a clear and confident way that is not offensive. We've likely all been in situations where we wish we spoke up and were more assertive yet somehow weren't able to do it. Here to help you understand how to be assertive is psychologist Randy Paterson author of The Assertiveness Handbook: How to Express Your Ideas and Stand Up for Yourself at Work and in Relationships (https://amzn.to/3GNDJ4C).  Most employees probably wish they got more praise and compliments from the boss. And if the boss is smart, he or she probably should. Listen as I explain the benefits of giving compliments and positive feedback – not only benefits for employees but for employers as well. http://www.plosone.org/article/info%3Adoi%2F10.1371%2Fjournal.pone.0048174 PLEASE SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS! With Shopify, everything you need to customize your business to your needs is already in your hands. Sign up for a FREE trial at https://Shopify.com/sysk ! Constant Wonder is a podcast that will bring more wonder and awe to your day. Listen to Constant Wonder wherever you get your podcasts! https://www.byuradio.org/constantwonder Did you know you could reduce the number of unwanted calls & emails with Online Privacy Protection from Discover? - And it's FREE! Just activate it in the Discover App. See terms & learn more at https://Discover.com/Online You've earned your fun time. Go to the App Store or Google play to download Best Fiends for free. Plus, earn even more with $5 worth of in-game rewards when you reach level 5!  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Assertive communication is one of the most important skills when it comes to human relationships. Be it in the workplace, with family, or in friendships, it is a skill that you must learn to develop in order to communicate in ways that are respectful, clear, and effective. Without assertive communication, your goals will be difficult to meet. Joining us for this episode is Randy Paterson, Psychologist, Director of Changeways Clinic, and Author of The Assertiveness Workbook. Randy breaks down the significance of assertive communication and associated misconceptions, when assertiveness is not always the best approach, and the different communication styles you can use to confidently express your needs, wants, and opinions in your personal and professional life.  Listen and Learn:  What assertive communication skills are and why they are important  How people can benefit from practicing assertive communication skills When assertive communication isn't always the best approach  Randy's thoughts on picking your battles  The challenges that come with assertive communication  Understanding the different communication styles and how to use them The link between control and assertive communication  Analyzing gender-related differences in communication styles The specifics of assertive communication and examples  How to structure requests for desired outcomes  The best way to give and receive feedback, both positive and negative Resources:  Learn more about Randy at his webpage: https://www.randypaterson.com/ Check out Randy's books The Assertiveness Workbook, How to be Miserable, How to be Miserable in Your Twenties, Private Practice Made Simple, and Your Depression Map.  Read Debbie's blog post on Assertive Communication Grab your copy of all our favorite books at bookshop.org/shop/offtheclockpsych, including Yael's new book, Work, Parent, Thrive!  Check out Debbie, Yael, and Jill's websites to access their offerings, sign up for their newsletters, buy their books, and more! About Randy Paterson: Dr. Randy Paterson is a psychologist in Vancouver, British Columbia. He is the director of Changeways Clinic; and provides training programs across Canada and internationally on evidence-based mental health practice. He is the author of several books, including: How to Be Miserable, How to Be Miserable in Your Twenties, Private Practice Made Simple, and The Assertiveness Workbook, which is now in its second edition. He offers courses for professionals and the public through his online teaching website, psychologysalon.teachable.com.  Related Episodes:  216. Managing Anger and Irritability, Featuring Russell Kolts 246. Burnout and Boundaries with Tammie Chang 252. Getting the Help You Need, with Us 255. Influence is Your Superpower with Zoe Chance  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Randy J. Paterson, PhD, author of How to be Miserable, joins us to talk about depression and low mood. Paterson is a psychologist and director of Changeways Clinic—a private psychotherapy service—in Vancouver, BC, Canada. He is also author of How to be Miserable in Your Twenties, The Assertiveness Workbook, and Your Depression Map; and coauthor of the free online Antidepressant Skills Workbook. Visit our website at www.newharbinger.com and use coupon code 'Podcast25' to receive 25% off your entire order. Buy the Book: New Harbinger - https://bit.ly/3jBhYIr Amazon - https://www.amazon.com/dp/1626254060/ Barnes & Noble - https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/1122294024 IndieBound - https://www.indiebound.org/book/9781626254060

Say It Skillfully® is a show that helps you to benefit from Molly Tschang's expert guidance on the best possible ways to speak your mind at work in a positive and productive manner. In Episode 131, Molly is joined by Randy Paterson, PhD psychologist and author, who offers gems galore on our mental well-being—from the parent trap to depression changing our motivational structure to helping youths realize how passions are created, not discovered! Born and raised (and still) in Vancouver, BC, Randy self-describes as nerdy and bookish. He recalls “knowing” he wanted to be a psychologist and writer (and forest ranger, by the way). After his B.S. in psychology, he's open about having felt inadequate for graduate school, and then stumbling onto an opportunity with prominent psychologist Ann Triesman that changed his life forever (Ann received the 2013 National Medal of Science from President Obama for pioneering work in the study of attention and was married to Nobel Prize Economist Daniel Kahneman). Randy shares his path to “anxiety disorder guy,” including thinking he'd be kicked out of the PhD program at Western University, and unexpectedly landing a job helping those with depression. He talks about those with Anhedonia (losing interest to do things you like to do). He helps people *not* trust the instincts to do what makes them feel worse! He also offers lessons learned for those keen to be in private practice with a reality check in working for others vs. yourself. Randy and Molly also talk about his sub-specialty—“failure to launch”—in young adults and the “parent trap” that supports their dependence, not independence. Don't miss this engaging episode! Randy helps us talk and learn about mental health. He inspires us to help all be safe, seen and heard, and be our true and best selves. Molly's thought for the week. Thank you Randy: Failure is a normal part of life. Failure exposure is one of the best things we can do. Check out a wealth of resources from Randy: *http://www.randypaterson.com *https://psychologysalon.teachable.com *YouTube Channel – type PsychologySalon *Books: How to be Miserable, How to be Miserable in Your 20s, The Assertiveness Workbook, Private Practice Made Simple, Your Depression Map. More ways to help you #sayitskillfully! *Tactfully pushback on those meandering, endless meetings… https://lnkd.in/eHScYf9 *All Molly's videos by category here: https://sayitskillfully.com

Say It Skillfully® is a show that helps you to benefit from Molly Tschang's expert guidance on the best possible ways to speak your mind at work in a positive and productive manner. In Episode 131, Molly is joined by Randy Paterson, PhD psychologist and author, who offers gems galore on our mental well-being—from the parent trap to depression changing our motivational structure to helping youths realize how passions are created, not discovered! Born and raised (and still) in Vancouver, BC, Randy self-describes as nerdy and bookish. He recalls “knowing” he wanted to be a psychologist and writer (and forest ranger, by the way). After his B.S. in psychology, he's open about having felt inadequate for graduate school, and then stumbling onto an opportunity with prominent psychologist Ann Triesman that changed his life forever (Ann received the 2013 National Medal of Science from President Obama for pioneering work in the study of attention and was married to Nobel Prize Economist Daniel Kahneman). Randy shares his path to “anxiety disorder guy,” including thinking he'd be kicked out of the PhD program at Western University, and unexpectedly landing a job helping those with depression. He talks about those with Anhedonia (losing interest to do things you like to do). He helps people *not* trust the instincts to do what makes them feel worse! He also offers lessons learned for those keen to be in private practice with a reality check in working for others vs. yourself. Randy and Molly also talk about his sub-specialty—“failure to launch”—in young adults and the “parent trap” that supports their dependence, not independence. Don't miss this engaging episode! Randy helps us talk and learn about mental health. He inspires us to help all be safe, seen and heard, and be our true and best selves. Molly's thought for the week. Thank you Randy: Failure is a normal part of life. Failure exposure is one of the best things we can do. Check out a wealth of resources from Randy: *http://www.randypaterson.com *https://psychologysalon.teachable.com *YouTube Channel – type PsychologySalon *Books: How to be Miserable, How to be Miserable in Your 20s, The Assertiveness Workbook, Private Practice Made Simple, Your Depression Map. More ways to help you #sayitskillfully! *Tactfully pushback on those meandering, endless meetings… https://lnkd.in/eHScYf9 *All Molly's videos by category here: https://sayitskillfully.com

We enjoyed chatting with Dr. Randy Paterson in this episode. Hear him talk about his strategies of using reverse psychology and real-life affirmations to help other people find their way through depression and life failures. Yes, stick to repeatable processes and what works, and hit play!Key Takeaways from This EpisodeWhat is the main point of assertiveness?Ways to access your book sales stats and author rankHow negative mood states impact motivationEffects of introducing children to failure at an early ageReasons why people write and its benefitsResources Mentioned in This EpisodePatrick Fanning – New Harbinger Publications, Inc.JK RowlingAmazonCGP GreyCGP Grey: 7 Ways to Maximize MiseryFailure to Launch SyndromeHikikomoriNot in Education, Employment, or Training (NEET)Nielsen Cross-Platform Report University Student Counselling ServiceAbout Randy Paterson, PhDRandy Paterson, PhD is a psychologist and author living in Vancouver BC. He is the founder of Changeways Clinic, one of Vancouver's largest private psychotherapy services, and the author of How to be Miserable:40 Strategies You Already Use, How to be Miserable in Your Twenties, Private Practice Made Simple, Your Depression Map, and The Assertiveness Workbook. He vlogs about psychology and mental health at YouTube's PsychologySalon channel, and provides online courses for professionals and the public (including a course on writing long-form non-fiction). He has provided over 300 training seminars for mental health professionals on topics including communication skills, psychotherapy process, practice management, and the treatment of mood and anxiety disorders.Website: Randy Peterson, PhDYouTube: PsychologySalonRandy's Online Courses: https://psychologysalon.teachable.com/Randy's Books:How to Be Miserable: 40 Strategies You Already Use ⏐ Paperback and KindleThe Assertiveness Workbook: How to Express Your Ideas and Stand Up for Yourself at Work and in Relationships ⏐ Paperback and HardcoverYour Depression Map: Find the Source of Your Depression and Chart Your Own Recovery ⏐ PaperbackPrivate Practice Made Simple: Everything You Need to Know to Set Up and Manage a Successful Mental Health Practice ⏐ Paperback and KindleHow to Be Miserable in Your Twenties: 40 Strategies to Fail at Adulting ⏐ Paperback and KindleLove the show? Subscribe, rate, review, and share!Here's How » Join The Author's Corner Community today:Website: Robin ColucciLinkedIn: R Colucci, LLCFacebook: Robin ColucciTwitter: @Robin_ColucciRobin Colucci's Book: How to Write a Book That Sells You: Increase Your Credibility, Income, and Impact

Do you suffer from Slack notification anxiety? On-call schedules and deadlines giving you nightmares? Are your teammates nitpicking your code during code review?Instead of quitting your job out of frustration and having to go through another round of technical interviews, what if you knew how to have a great relationship with your work?Learn how to deal with imposter syndrome, unrealistic deadlines, and stop communicating passive-aggressively today!Communicate effectively with your team and finish the day feeling good about what you've accomplished.Listen to our conversation with Dr. Randy Paterson, a psychologist and author practicing in Vancouver, Canada. He is the author of "The Assertiveness Workbook - How to express your ideas and stand up for yourself at work and in relationships."He taught us effective skills we can use to feel better about our daily jobs as developers. Learn how to tell your manager that the project is running late without being the negative person in the team. And how to deal with conflict without freaking out.Whether you've experienced any of these situations at work or have heard stories about it, it's always good to learn how to communicate better and avoid resentments. Enjoy the episode and share it with a friend or colleague!Sign up for the hexdevs newsletter today and receive exercises, research-based techniques and actionable ideas to help you become an expert developer!Episode links- Full episode Transcript and Show Notes- Save your spot for the hexdevs Software Design Workshop and take the next right step for your career- Dr. Randy Paterson's website- The Assertiveness Workbook - How to express your ideas and stand up for yourself at work and in relationships- Psychology Salon with Dr. Randy Paterson - YouTube channel- First Person Plural: Emotional Intelligence & Beyond podcast

Most of us know at least one young adult who's having trouble making that transition from dependent teenager to 20-year-old adult paying their own bills and pursuing their own goals. This is Dr. Randy Paterson's area of expertise, and today he shares helpful insights. Press play to learn: Why males seem to have a harder time leaving home or “launching” than females Whether the “failure to launch” phenomenon in young adults happens primarily in the U.S., or in cultures across the globe The strange dynamic that exists between the parents of young adults who fail to launch, and the therapist's role in navigating this dynamic How the idea of “following your passions” can actually be paralyzing for many young people Dr. Paterson has been a psychotherapist for nearly 40 years, is the author of How to Be Miserable in Your Twenties, and currently serves as the director of Changeways Clinic. Throughout his career, he's noticed a subset of his client population that struggles to achieve adult independence, even into their twenties. In the U.S., you might know this as a “failure to thrive,” which generally means that the young adult is not employed (or grossly underemployed), not in school, and not even engaging in much of a social life. Dr. Paterson sees this in young males far more than females, and he discusses why that might be. He also explains that the longer this failure to launch lasts, the more entrenched the young adult becomes in this state, and the harder they find it to gain independence. Tune in to learn how Dr. Paterson helps young adults—and their families—make the critical transition into adulthood. For more, visit https://randypaterson.com/ and the YouTube channel called “How To Be Miserable.” Episode also available on Apple Podcasts: apple.co/30PvU9C

Are you the type of person who struggles to say NO, or tell people how you “really” feel?Does the very thought of having to decide on which restaurant to go to fill you with horror and dread?If so, then this is the episode for YOU.That’s because today, I’m talking assertiveness with a man who has spent the last twenty-years teaching people this very skill - Dr Randy Paterson.Randy is a psychologist and author practicing in Vancouver, Canada. He is author of The Assertiveness Workbook, which we will be diving into today, and How to be Miserable (40 Strategies You Already Use), which is also essential reading.In todays conversation, Randy and I identify and discuss four different styles of interpersonal behaviour (i.e., the assertive, aggressive, passive-aggressive, and passive styles). We reveal visible and invisible barriers preventing people from being more assertive (i.e., the stress barrier, beliefs barrier, and social barrier). We also look at how your nonverbal behaviour may be letting you down, because often, what matters most, is not WHAT you say, but HOW you say it.Randy also reveals his motivation behind The Assertiveness Handbook, and offers a few practical tips for anyone out there who may be struggling with assertiveness.Enjoy!

Dr. Randy Paterson guides us through the ins and outs of assertive communication, explaining why it's essential for healthy, happy relationships in work, love, and life.

My next guest is Dr. Randy Paterson. He knows that life is inherently complex and challenging for all of us and that we can – and should – expect to run into situations and problems that seem confusing or difficult to navigate. The current Coronavirus pandemic is a classic example.   He is a psychologist and director of Changeways Clinic, a private psychotherapy service in Vancouver, BC Canada. He helps people find their unique strengths and talents so they can navigate unfamiliar or difficult territory and develop new knowledge, skills, and abilities to move forward. He also presents lectures and workshops around the world on mental health policy, cognitive behavioral therapy, depression and anxiety disorders, and the failure-to-launch phenomenon.    He is author of five books, and in this episode we talk about two of them today that focus on how we make ourselves miserable and what we can do about that.   For more information about Randy and his work and books please visit randypaterson.com.

Psychologist Dr. Randy Paterson is the author of the audiobook "How to be Miserable: 40 Strategies You Already Use." In today’s illuminating conversation he shares a surprising, counter-intuitive approach to self-help — one that can inspire you to break out of old, unhealthy patterns and live a life of contentment.

Welcome to Amy Alkon's HumanLab: The Science Between Us, interviewing the luminaries of behavioral science.Assertiveness isn't about "building a good disguise," Dr. Randy Paterson explains. "It's about the courage to take the disguise off." It's "about being THERE."Paterson, a clinical psychologist, is the author of the excellent book I've recommended in my column, "The Assertiveness Workbook: How To Express Your Ideas and Stand Up for Yourself at Work and in Relationships," and that's exactly what he and I will be laying out on tonight's show.Paterson takes a very rational, behavioral approach and gives extremely practical tips for how to change, and this show should help even already-assertive people notice and shore up areas where they could do better.Join me and all my fascinating guests every Sunday, 7-8 p.m. Pacific Time, 10-11 p.m. Eastern Time, at blogtalkradio.com/amyalkon or subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher.Please support this show by buying my new science-based and funny book, Unf*ckology: A Field Guide to Living with Guts and Confidence.

Welcome to Amy Alkon's HumanLab: The Science Between Us, interviewing the luminaries of behavioral science.Assertiveness isn't about "building a good disguise," Dr. Randy Paterson explains. "It's about the courage to take the disguise off." It's "about being THERE."Paterson, a clinical psychologist, is the author of the excellent book I've recommended in my column, "The Assertiveness Workbook: How To Express Your Ideas and Stand Up for Yourself at Work and in Relationships," and that's exactly what he and I will be laying out on tonight's show.Paterson takes a very rational, behavioral approach and gives extremely practical tips for how to change, and this show should help even already-assertive people notice and shore up areas where they could do better.Join me and all my fascinating guests every Sunday, 7-8 p.m. Pacific Time, 10-11 p.m. Eastern Time, at blogtalkradio.com/amyalkon or subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher.Please support this show by buying my new science-based and funny book, Unf*ckology: A Field Guide to Living with Guts and Confidence.

Staying within our comfort zones is reassuring and very tempting. However, many experts agree that our lives improves when we break out of our comfort zones. In this episode we’re sharing a humorous excerpt from the audiobook “How to Be Miserable: 40 Strategies You Already Use,” written by psychologist Randy Paterson. In this tongue-in-cheek audiobook, Dr. Paterson outlines 40 specific behaviors and habits, which—if followed—are sure to lead to a lifetime of unhappiness. On the other hand, if you do the opposite, you might just find yourself living a happy, fulfilled life. We hope this excerpt will inspire you to try new things, take some new chances, and expand beyond your comfort zones into a world of new possibilities!

We have been reading the book, How To Be Miserable: 40 Strategies You Already Use, in our Coffeechug Mastermind Group and we have had our ideas and habits challenged with this book by Randy Paterson. Check out the show and episodes on iTunes I would love it if you would review and rank the show and/or the episodes. It greatly helps us gain traction to bring in more people to the show. I reached out to Randy asking for a chance to ask him some question for the podcast based on the conversations we have had online in the group. In this episode we discuss the following: How did this book concept come to reality? How did it develop based on his work? Does self esteem exist? People with high self esteem are not doing positive affirmations. They are doing nothing. Why the list of self affirmations are lies How do we remove the plug and stop thinking negatively? How do we ingest a proper balance of proper social nutrients to stop isolating ourselves by staying online? How we actually use our 24 hours in a day? Average American consumes 10 hours of screen time Mix in sleep of 8 hours We are not left with many hours left! Is there a correlation between isolation vs. mental health issues How a Men in Black Activity will make you rethink your habits How to rethink the mental healthy system to allow for better heath Why it is easier to label a person with a disorder vs. personality? You can his work on his website that will lead you to all of his work, books, social media and more. Here is a link to the video that started it all. Join our Coffeechug MasterMind Group Buy the book, How To Be Miserable: 40 Strategies You Already Use Book: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1626254060?ie=UTF8&camp=213733&creative=393185&creativeASIN=1626254060&linkCode=shr&tag=cofothbr-20&linkId=NIY7GB3WC2KBZECN&qid=1503229374&sr=8-1&keywords=how+to+be+miserable

What if, instead of trying to fix the problems in your life, you decided that you wanted to do something different? What if you wanted to be miserable? How would you go about it, and what would you learn about yourself? This counter-intuitive approach to how to feel happy can actually point you in the direction of a life of contentment. Today we have a conversation with psychologist Dr. Randy Paterson author of the audiobook “How To Be Miserable: 40 Strategies You Already Use.” Dr. Paterson talks about his new audiobook and the power of flipping the question and asking: If I wanted to, how would I make myself miserable? He shares tips and exercises to identify the ways you may already be sabotaging your well-being, as well as ways to break out of old, unhealthy patterns. Gaining insight into how to feel happy can be found in this simple and unusual technique.

Dr. Randy Paterson shares a darkly funny technique from his tongue-in-cheek audiobook for feeling inferior to everyone around you. You'll learn just what to do if you want to be miserable in social situations, and, just maybe—some ways to be comfortable and confident.

The ManTalks Podcast - 64: Dr Randy Paterson Dr Randy Paterson knows all about how to be miserable. In this interview, Roger and Dr Paterson outline some of the 40 specific behaviours and habits, which-if followed-are sure to lead to a lifetime of unhappiness. On the other hand, if you do the opposite, you can join the ranks of happy people everywhere.   Subscribe on iTunes, SoundCloud, Stitcher Radio, TuneIn For more episodes visit us at ManTalks.comFacebook | Instagram | Twitter   Some questions Roger asks: What is Dr. Randy Paterson’s defining moment as a man? (2:13) Where did your insight for the book come from? (7:30) What are some of the lessons in your book, and who is the book for? (10:23) What would your advice be for somebody suffering from depression? (13:20) Can you explain your clinic? (18:25) What are some bits of advice you'd give? (21:40) What advice you give to young men to leave home and get work? (25:20) Has anything shifted in the tools you've outlined in the book? (28:40) How can you put these technics into practice? (31:50) Are you seeing improvement in society’s depression? (33:14) How does mindfulness fit in with helping depression? (37:33) What's the legacy you want to leave? (43:44) Did you enjoy the podcast? If so please leave us a review on iTunes or Stitcher. It helps our podcast get into the ears of new listeners, which expands the ManTalks community!    Thank You to the Team: Editing & Mixing by: Aaron Johnson Theme music by: Parlange & Latenite Automatic

This week on Relationships 2.0 my guest is Randy J. Paterson (PART 2) author of How to Be Miserable: 40 Strategies You Already Use About the book: In How to Be Miserable, psychologist Randy Paterson outlines 40 specific behaviors and habits, which—if followed—are sure to lead to a lifetime of unhappiness. On the other hand, if you do the opposite, you may yet join the ranks of happy people everywhere! There are stacks upon stacks of self-help books that will promise you love, happiness, and a fabulous life. But how can you pinpoint the exact behaviors that cause you to be miserable in the first place? Sometimes when we’re depressed, or just sad or unhappy, our instincts tell us to do the opposite of what we should—such as focusing on the negative, dwelling on what we can’t change, isolating ourselves from friends and loved ones, eating junk food, or overindulging in alcohol. Sound familiar? This tongue-in-cheek guide will help you identify the behaviors that make you unhappy and discover how you—and only you—are holding yourself back from a life of contentment. You’ll learn to spot the tried-and-true traps that increase feelings of dissatisfaction, foster a lack of motivation, and detract from our quality of life—as well as ways to avoid them. So, get ready to live the life you want (or not?) This fun, irreverent guide will light the way. About the author: Randy J. Paterson, PhD, is director of Changeways Clinic, a private psychotherapy practice in Vancouver, BC, Canada. He is author of The Assertiveness Workbook and Your Depression Map, and he conducts training programs for professionals on evidence-based treatment. Through Changeways Clinic, Paterson presents lectures and workshops internationally on topics including mental health policy, cognitive behavioral therapy, the nature and treatment of depression and anxiety disorders, and strategies for private practice management. He is the 2008 recipient of the Canadian Psychological Association’s Distinguished Practitioner Award. For more information on Paterson, his presentations and workshops, or Changeways Clinic, visit www.changeways.com. To view Paterson’s blog on psychological and practice issues, please visit www.psychologysalon.com.

This week on Relationships 2.0 my guest is Randy J. Paterson, PhD author of How To Be Miserable: 40 Strategies You Already Use About the book: In How to Be Miserable, psychologist Randy Paterson outlines 40 specific behaviors and habits, which—if followed—are sure to lead to a lifetime of unhappiness. On the other hand, if you do the opposite, you may yet join the ranks of happy people everywhere! There are stacks upon stacks of self-help books that will promise you love, happiness, and a fabulous life. But how can you pinpoint the exact behaviors that cause you to be miserable in the first place? Sometimes when we’re depressed, or just sad or unhappy, our instincts tell us to do the opposite of what we should—such as focusing on the negative, dwelling on what we can’t change, isolating ourselves from friends and loved ones, eating junk food, or overindulging in alcohol. Sound familiar? This tongue-in-cheek guide will help you identify the behaviors that make you unhappy and discover how you—and only you—are holding yourself back from a life of contentment. You’ll learn to spot the tried-and-true traps that increase feelings of dissatisfaction, foster a lack of motivation, and detract from our quality of life—as well as ways to avoid them. So, get ready to live the life you want (or not?) This fun, irreverent guide will light the way. About the author: Randy J. Paterson, PhD, is director of Changeways Clinic, a private psychotherapy practice in Vancouver, BC, Canada. He is author of The Assertiveness Workbook and Your Depression Map, and he conducts training programs for professionals on evidence-based treatment. Through Changeways Clinic, Paterson presents lectures and workshops internationally on topics including mental health policy, cognitive behavioral therapy, the nature and treatment of depression and anxiety disorders, and strategies for private practice management. He is the 2008 recipient of the Canadian Psychological Association’s Distinguished Practitioner Award. For more information on Paterson, his presentations and workshops, or Changeways Clinic, visit www.changeways.com. To view Paterson’s blog on psychological and practice issues, please visit www.psychologysalon.com.

In our pursuit of happiness it is easy to become myopic. Why not freshen things up by trying, just for the length of this episode, to achieve utter misery? Randy Paterson is a psychologist and the author of the book How to be Miserable: 40 Strategies you Already use. He will shine a light on some of the strategies we use to be miserable (unless you are of course a regular listener, in which case, I trust, you have kicked most of these habits already ;-). For more episodes visit http://strengthsphoenix.com/listen For those of you who finally want to give Audible a try and support the podcast while doing so (at no extra cost to you) check out http://strengthsphoenix.com/audible  

There are tons of books about how to be happier, how to improve yourself, how to be less angry, etc. These books often tout things you should add to your life to get to where you want. But sometimes the best way to achieve a goal is to actually subtract something from your life, and to stop doing the things that are making you miserable. That's the approach today's guest took in his latest book, How to Be Miserable: 40 Strategies You Already Use. His name is Randy Paterson, and he's a psychologist. Today on the show, we discuss the things he's seen with his patients -- common lifestyle choices and thinking patterns -- that make them miserable, and what you can do to eliminate those things from your life.

Welcome to Amy Alkon's HumanLab: The Science Between Us, interviewing the luminaries of behavioral science.Assertiveness isn't about "building a good disguise," Dr. Randy Paterson explains. "It's about the courage to take the disguise off." It's "about being THERE."Paterson, a clinical psychologist, is the author of the excellent book I've recommended in my column, "The Assertiveness Workbook: How To Express Your Ideas and Stand Up for Yourself at Work and in Relationships," and that's exactly what he and I will be laying out on tonight's show.Paterson takes a very rational, behavioral approach and gives extremely practical tips for how to change, and this show should help even already-assertive people notice and shore up areas where they could do better.Join me and all my fascinating guests every Sunday, 7-8 p.m. Pacific Time, 10-11 p.m. Eastern Time, at blogtalkradio.com/amyalkon or subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher.Please support this show by buying my science-based but funny book about why people are rude and how to change things, "Good Manners for Nice People Who Sometimes Say F*ck."

Last week I talked about How To Gain Self-Confidence In Relationship. I discussed the positive cycle between assertiveness and self-confidence. The more you can assert yourself the more self-confident you will be. Just as the more self-confident you are the more assertive you will be. 5 REASONS WHY WE AVOID BEING ASSERTIVE IN A RELATIONSHIP While we might agree with the concept of being assertive, many of us have no idea HOW to be assertive in a relationship. Here’s a few reasons why: 1. We think assertiveness is synonymous with being aggressive or confrontational and we are afraid of being mean. 2. We are afraid to “rock the boat”. Here is something to consider, the boat is already rocked. There is nothing you can do to hide it or make it go away. The goal here is to be honest and real about what is happening. This will allow you to bring your whole self fully to the relationship. “Through assertiveness we develop contact with ourselves and with others. We become real human beings with real ideas, real differences…and real flaws. And we admit all of these things. We don’t try to become someone else’s mirror. We don’t try to suppress someone else’s uniqueness. We don’t try to pretend that we’re perfect. We become ourselves. We allow ourselves to be there.” ~ Randy Paterson 3. We are concerned about the loss of love, connection, or attention. Everyone fears rejection.  4. Being assertive feels too stressful which can activate your sympathetic nervous system response (i.e. fight, flight or freeze response). 5. We don’t know how to be assertive. We don’t have any good models to emulate. Assertiveness is a skill that takes practice to develop. TIPS FOR HOW TO BE ASSERTIVE IN A RELATIONSHIP Check Your Beliefs Do you believe your thoughts, feelings, needs, and desires are just as important as your partner’s (not more important, but equally important)? Do you believe you deserve to be treated with respect and dignity? Do you think being assertive is critical to your overall well-being, happiness, and potential? Do you think you can get your needs met without sacrificing the needs of your partner? Know You Know your limits and boundaries. Identify your emotions, desires, and preferences. Know what you want. Take Action Confront people who violate your boundaries or rights. Ask for help. Learn to say no. Practice saying “no” for an hour or a day as an experiment to see how it feels.  Practice Respect Give yourself permission to not be perfect. Contribute to win-win conversations. Be honest and tactful with your loved ones.  Watch Your Habits Are you overly apologetic? Do you wait for someone else to recognize your needs? Do you feel responsible for your partner’s needs? Do you strive to please people all the time?   PUT ASSERTIVENESS TO PRACTICE WITH THESE 4 STEPS Start small. Be specific. Be clear and honest. Be respectful. MENTIONED: Be The Best You Can Be In Relationship (podcast) The Assertiveness Workbook: How to Express Your Ideas and Stand Up for Yourself at Work and in Relationships, Randy Paterson (book) Challenge Day (website) If you have a topic you would like me to discuss or a situation you would like me to speak to, please contact me by clicking on the “Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins” button here. Thank you so much for your interest in how to be more assertive in your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you!  If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Empowered Relationship Course or doing relationship coaching work with me.

Amy Alkon's Advice Goddess Radio: "Nerd Your Way To A Better Life!" with the best brains in science."Best Of" replay. Assertiveness isn't about "building a good disguise," Dr. Randy Paterson explains. "It's about the courage to take the disguise off." It's "about being THERE."Paterson, a clinical psychologist, is the author of the excellent book I've recommended in my column, "The Assertiveness Workbook: How To Express Your Ideas and Stand Up for Yourself at Work and in Relationships," and that's exactly what he and I will be laying out on tonight's show.Paterson takes a very rational, behavioral approach and gives extremely practical tips for how to change, and this show should help even already-assertive people notice and shore up areas where they could do better.Join me and all my fascinating guests every Sunday, 7-8 p.m. Pacific Time, 10-11 p.m. Eastern Time, at blogtalkradio.com/amyalkon or subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher.Please support this show by buying my science-based but funny book about why people are rude and how to change things, "Good Manners for Nice People Who Sometimes Say F*ck."

Amy Alkon's Advice Goddess Radio: "Nerd Your Way To A Better Life!" with the best brains in science.NOTE: Superbowl Sunday "Best Of" replay. Back with live shows again next Sunday, on Feb 9! Assertiveness isn't about "building a good disguise," Dr. Randy Paterson explains. "It's about the courage to take the disguise off." It's "about being THERE."Paterson, a clinical psychologist, is the author of the excellent book I've recommended in my column, "The Assertiveness Workbook: How To Express Your Ideas and Stand Up for Yourself at Work and in Relationships," and that's exactly what he and I will be laying out on tonight's show.Paterson takes a very rational, behavioral approach and gives extremely practical tips for how to change, and this show should help even already-assertive people notice and shore up areas where they could do better.Join me and all my fascinating guests every Sunday, 7-8 p.m. Pacific Time, 10-11 p.m. Eastern Time, at blogtalkradio.com/amyalkon or subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher.Please buy my science-based but funny book about why people are rude and how to change things, I SEE RUDE PEOPLE: One woman's battle to beat some manners into impolite society.And please ask a newspaper near you to carry my award-winning syndicated, science-based advice column...if they don't already!

Amy Alkon's Advice Goddess Radio: "Nerd Your Way To A Better Life!" with the best brains in therapy and research.   Assertiveness isn't about "building a good disguise," Dr. Randy Paterson explains. "It's about the courage to take the disguise off." It's "about being THERE."   Paterson, a clinical psychologist, is the author of the excellent book I've recommended in my column, "The Assertiveness Workbook: How To Express Your Ideas and Stand Up for Yourself at Work and in Relationships," and that's exactly what he and I will be laying out on tonight's show.   Paterson takes a very rational, behavioral approach and gives extremely practical tips for how to change, and this show should help even already-assertive people notice and shore up areas where they could do better.   Join me and all my fascinating guests every Sunday, 7-8 p.m. Pacific Time, 10-11 p.m. Eastern Time, at blogtalkradio.com/amyalkon or subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher.   Please buy my science-based but funny book about why people are rude and how to change things, I SEE RUDE PEOPLE: One woman's battle to beat some manners into impolite society.   And please ask a newspaper near you to carry my award-winning syndicated, science-based advice column...if they don't already!