Your Kids Don’t Suck: Cultivating Closeness with your Kids through Non-Coercive, Conscious Parenting

Your Kids Don’t Suck: Cultivating Closeness with your Kids through Non-Coercive, Conscious Parenting

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Non-coercive, conscious parenting is a radical departure from mainstream, traditional parenting practices. The essence of the mindset involves collaboration and mutuality with our children. Through in-depth discussion and disclosure, therapists and parents Rythea and Cara explore the personal and societal challenges of choosing this uncommon parenting philosophy. The intention behind this podcast is to empower parents with education and tools to help them dismantle the patterns that cause power struggles, disconnection, and stress within our family systems. This podcast is fun, punchy, vulnerable, and exploratory. Let's dive in and grow together!

Cara Tedstone and Rythea Lee

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    • Apr 19, 2025 LATEST EPISODE
    • every other week NEW EPISODES
    • 59m AVG DURATION
    • 33 EPISODES


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    Latest episodes from Your Kids Don’t Suck: Cultivating Closeness with your Kids through Non-Coercive, Conscious Parenting

    When We Feel Oppressed by Our Kids: Working with Merged Parts

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 19, 2025 54:18


    In this deeply honest episode, Cara and Rythea dive into the nuanced world of non-coercive parenting through the lens of Internal Family Systems, Parts Work Therapy, and Inner Bonding. They unpack what it means to parent in the moment while working with merged parts—protective internal voices that take over when we're triggered, especially by our kids.This episode explores the uncomfortable but powerful truth: sometimes we see our child as our abuser. Cara and Rythea get real about how this perception emerges, how it relates to unhealed trauma, and how those reactive parts are trying—however messily—to protect us.Cara and Rythea share real-life examples when their children activated them, and how they identified and engaged with the parts that took over. They talk about what it's like to notice in real time when you're not in your Self and how to compassionately return.Key TopicsUnderstanding merged parts and protectorsTools for recognizing when you're not in Self and how to returnProjecting past trauma onto your childThe healing potential of seeing your protectors as helpers, not enemiesCultivating Self-EnergyDismantling parental shame and reconnecting to our childrenThis work isn't about parenting perfectly. It's about parenting from presence, about having a relationship with yourself so that you can have an authentic connection with your child. By integrating your own protective parts, you make space for your Self-Energy to lead—and from there, all relationships, especially with your kids, become more truthful and safe.ResourcesMeditations by Dick Schwartz https://insighttimer.com/drrichardschwartzThe One Inside podcast https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/the-one-inside-an-internal-family-systems-ifs-podcast/id1460334766Inner Bonding https://www.innerbonding.com/Book with Rythea calendly.com/rytheaBook with Cara calendly.com/caratedstonetherapySupport https://buymeacoffee.com/yourkidsdontsuck It's important and essential to put our voices (Rythea and Cara) in a context. We are two white, cis-gender, straight, middle-class women living with financial and societal privilege. Because of this, our perspectives are limited and do not reflect the realities of all our listeners. This podcast will feature guests with expertise around conscious parenting who differ in gender, race, class, abilities, sexual orientation, and histories from us, to broaden the conversation and reflect the lives of as many people as possible. 25% of the proceeds of this podcast will go to creators of color who have been mentors and influences on our work and in our growth as parents.Rate & ReviewShare your thoughts! Your feedback helps us reach more parents looking to embrace collaborative, non-coercive parenting.

    Reparenting the Self: A Non-Parent's Journey Applying the Collaborative Parenting Philosophy to BPD Recovery and Reparenting

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 30, 2025 63:01


    In this episode, we sit down with our social media manager/helper/everything-assistant, Joey D'Angelo, who shares their relationship with our work on the podcast. Joey is not a parent, but is full of childlike wonder and endless compassion, and has been on a recovery journey which includes reparenting herself. What happens when we turn the principles of mutual respect, emotional regulation, and co-regulation inward? Joey shares the impact of their upbringing and how that led to their development of Borderline Personality Disorder (aka Emotional Dysregulation), and their journey through BPD recovery, re-building self-trust, reparenting, and applying conscious parenting methods to heal inner wounds. Together we explore reparenting through the lens of collaborative parenting—without parenting any children. On this episode, we discuss: ✨ What is reparenting is, and how to recover our inherent self-trust ✨ Learning new relational languages that are non-coercive, and how this neurological rewiring is challenging in the short term, but will create more peaceful relationships in the long term. ✨ How collaborative parenting principles—like connection over correction—apply to self-growth and personal healing ✨ Practical ways to nurture your inner child with empathy and patience ✨ The challenges and breakthroughs of unlearning harsh self-talk and internalized criticismWhether you're a parent or not, this conversation offers powerful insights into healing, self-trust, and cultivating an internal environment of love and understanding. Joey is a gender non-conforming, neurodivergent queer in their mid-30s. They are a white, AFAB non-parent, single person who has a value system rooted in understanding intersectionality and developing communities where equity precedes privilege. They worked in film and TV for 7 years, ran their own business between 2018 and 2021, and have worked in events, marketing, and social media for over a decade. Joey lives with Borderline Personality Disorder (also referred to as Emotional Dysregulation) in Toronto, Canada and is actively involved in justice for people who are insecurely housed, and their BPD diagnosis has completely shifted the way they care for themself, offering a North Star that's rooted in balance, comfort, and fun. Get in touch with them:Instagram, TikTok, YouTube: @hi.itsjoey Website: www.joeydangelo.squarespace.com

    Self-Hatred and Parenting: Understanding Self-attack as a Control Strategy

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 1, 2025 46:47


    As non-coercive, collaborative parents, how do we move through self-blame and really trust our child's process?In this episode, Cara supports Rythea to explore the trigger of being helpless over her daughter's pain. Rythea unpacks, in real time, patterns of self-hatred and self-blame that are tied to underlying beliefs around parenting and self-worth. Rythea, with Cara's facilitation, models a process of expressing the unbearable feelings around keeping her child safe, happy, and healthy. This episode takes you through the healing process of a parent taking responsibility for her own triggers, memories, and conditioning, in the face of things she cannot control as a parent.The friendship between Cara and Rythea, as well as their knowledge as therapists, guides this episode into places listeners rarely get to see and hear on a parenting podcast.--It's important and essential to put our voices (Rythea and Cara) in a context. We are two white, cis-gender, straight, middle-class women living with financial and societal privilege. Because of this, our perspectives are limited and do not reflect the realities of all our listeners. This podcast will feature guests with expertise around conscious parenting who differ in gender, race, class, abilities, sexual orientation, and histories from us, to broaden the conversation and reflect the lives of as many people as possible. 25% of the proceeds of this podcast will go to creators of color who have been mentors and influences on our work and in our growth as parents.You can donate to this podcast by going to https://linktr.ee/yourkidsdontsuckBook with Cara: calendly.com/caratedstonetherapyBook with Rythea: rythea.com/supportsessionRate & Review:Enjoyed this episode? Leave us a review on your favorite podcast platform! Your feedback helps us reach more parents looking to embrace collaborative, non-coercive parenting.

    Amanda Diekman on Low-Demand Parenting & What Her PDA Kids Have Taught Her.

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 14, 2025 63:09


    In this episode, we sit down with Amanda Diekman, author of Low-Demand Parenting, to explore the intersection of PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance), neurodiversity, and low-demand parenting.What We Cover:What PDA is and is not – Understanding PDA as a profile rather than a diagnosis, and clearing up common misconceptions.Why PDA is widely discussed today – How awareness of PDA has grown and why so many neurodivergent families relate to this profile.The Low-Demand Parenting approach – What it means to shift from high expectations to a more supportive, flexible, and attuned style of parenting.How a low-demand lifestyle works in practice – Real-life applications and examples of reducing demands to create a more peaceful home.The importance of practicing low-demand living for yourself – Why parents must first extend grace and compassion to themselves in order to do the same for their kids.Parenting trauma and nervous system healing – How our past experiences shape the way we parent, and the ways we can regulate and heal our nervous systems to show up more fully for our children.If you've ever felt like traditional parenting advice doesn't fit your neurodivergent family, or if you're struggling to support a child who resists demands, this episode is for you. Amanda offers compassionate, insightful guidance on how to shift from a high-pressure, compliance-based dynamic to one that fosters connection, trust, and emotional safety.Amanda Diekman is an autistic adult, parent coach, and author in the neurodiversity space. Amanda runs a successful coaching practice for parents of neurodivergent children including online courses and a vibrant membership community. She lives with her husband and three neurodivergent children in an intentional community in Durham, NC.Find Amanda Diekman's work at:https://www.amandadiekman.com@lowdemandamanda--It's important and essential to put our voices (Rythea and Cara) in a context. We are two white, cis-gender, straight, middle-class women living with financial and societal privilege. Because of this, our perspectives are limited and do not reflect the realities of all our listeners. This podcast will feature guests with expertise around conscious parenting who differ in gender, race, class, abilities, sexual orientation, and histories from us, to broaden the conversation and reflect the lives of as many people as possible. 25% of the proceeds of this podcast will go to creators of color who have been mentors and influences on our work and in our growth as parents.You can donate to this podcast by going to https://buymeacoffee.com/yourkidsdontsuckBook with Cara: calendly.com/caratedstonetherapyBook with Rythea: rythea.com/supportsessionJoin Rythea's support group: https://buymeacoffee.com/rythealeeRate & Review:Enjoyed this episode? Leave us a review on your favorite podcast platform! Your feedback helps us reach more parents looking to embrace collaborative, non-coercive parenting.

    Collaboration, Not Chaos: Finding the Balance in Non-Coercive Parenting

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 31, 2025 47:56


    In this episode of Your Kids Don't Suck, Rythea and Cara dive into the practical side of non-coercive, collaborative parenting (NCC) - how to guide children without control, how our triggers shape our reactions, and why guiding our kids is an essential part of the philosophy (even though many NCC parents struggle with it).We start by checking in on how we've been doing lately and explore how our personal triggers challenge us to reframe our children's behaviors instead of reacting from old conditioning.We also read a listener's question and discuss how to use play as a way to guide young children—shifting away from control while still offering structure and support. Many NCC parents worry about being too controlling, but collaboration doesn't mean a lack of guidance. We talk about what true collaboration looks like and how it differs from permissiveness or coercion.This episode is full of real-life insights, practical examples, and compassionate reframing for parents trying to walk the fine line between honoring their child's autonomy and offering the guidance they need.--It's important and essential to put our voices (Rythea and Cara) in a context. We are two white, cis-gender, straight, middle-class women living with financial and societal privilege. Because of this, our perspectives are limited and do not reflect the realities of all our listeners. This podcast will feature guests with expertise around conscious parenting who differ in gender, race, class, abilities, sexual orientation, and histories from us, to broaden the conversation and reflect the lives of as many people as possible. 25% of the proceeds of this podcast will go to creators of color who have been mentors and influences on our work and in our growth as parents.You can donate to this podcast by going to https://linktr.ee/yourkidsdontsuckBook with Cara: calendly.com/caratedstonetherapyBook with Rythea: rythea.com/supportsessionRate & Review:Enjoyed this episode? Leave us a review on your favorite podcast platform! Your feedback helps us reach more parents looking to embrace collaborative, non-coercive parenting.

    Parenting As A Spiritual Practice; How Our Kids Bring Us to Our Deepest Growth

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 17, 2025 69:57


    In this paradigm-shifting episode, Cara and Rythea sit down with special guest Vivek Patel to explore the transformative power of parenting as a spiritual practice. Together, they dive into the profound ways parenting forces us to confront our deepest blocks, triggers, and fears. From sleepless nights to moments of deep connection, this episode unpacks how the challenges of raising children can lead to unparalleled personal growth and spiritual evolution. Whether you're a seasoned parent or just starting out, this conversation will inspire you to reframe the difficulties of parenting as opportunities for transformation and collaboration.Key Takeaways:- You can't avoid the challenges of parenting, but you can learn to meet them with curiosity, compassion, and openness.- By focusing on the essence of your child, you create a foundation of connection, trust, and collaboration.- Spiritual growth in parenting doesn't mean being perfect; it means showing up authentically, repairing when needed, and learning as you go.- Non-coercive parenting isn't about "letting kids do whatever they want"—it's about creating a partnership that honors everyone's needs.--It's important and essential to put our voices (Rythea and Cara) in a context. We are two white, cis-gender, straight, middle-class women living with financial and societal privilege. Because of this, our perspectives are limited and do not reflect the realities of all our listeners. This podcast will feature guests with expertise around conscious parenting who differ in gender, race, class, abilities, sexual orientation, and histories from us, to broaden the conversation and reflect the lives of as many people as possible. 25% of the proceeds of this podcast will go to creators of color who have been mentors and influences on our work and in our growth as parents. You can donate to this podcast by going to https://linktr.ee/yourkidsdontsuckBook with Cara: calendly.com/caratedstonetherapyBook with Rythea: rythea.com/supportsessionRate & Review: Enjoyed this episode? Leave us a review on your favorite podcast platform! Your feedback helps us reach more parents looking to embrace collaborative, non-coercive parenting.

    IFS "Parts Work” in Parenting: Why It Helps With Triggers

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 20, 2024 47:41


    Do you ever feel like your child makes you become a person you vowed you would never be? Have you noticed that you act like a version of yourself you don't recognize in regular life? This is because we have parts - internal parts that get triggered by your kids and by feeling helpless as a parent. We go into parts of ourselves from childhood that rear up from our past and cause us emotional responses we often don't understand. It can be very overwhelming and daunting.In this episode, Rythea and Cara, both therapists and parents, explore how the Internal Family Systems (IFS) parts work model can be applied to parenting. They discuss practical ways to navigate resistance and anger—both in ourselves as parents and in our children when they are triggered.Cara shares her personal challenges with being woken up at night by her child, offering an honest look at how difficult moments can bring up our own parts that need care and validation. Together, they unpack the importance of processing emotions through validation rather than bypassing or suppressing them.The conversation highlights the ongoing work of non-coercive, collaborative parenting: letting go of control, leaning into connection, and leading with validation, empathy, and trust. If you're looking for ways to show up for your child while navigating your inner world, this episode is for you.Key TakeawaysIFS in Parenting: Using parts work to understand your triggers as a parent can help you show up more calmly and effectively for your child.Working with Resistance: Recognize and validate the protective parts in you and your child rather than reacting with frustration or coercion.The Power of Validation: Processing emotions often requires the simple but profound act of acknowledging and validating feelings—both your own and your child's.Collaborative Parenting Principles: Letting go, leaning in, and leading with connection and empathy fosters trust and growth in the parent-child relationship.--It's important and essential to put our voices (Rythea and Cara) in a context. We are two white, cis-gender, straight, middle-class women living with financial and societal privilege. Because of this, our perspectives are limited and do not reflect the realities of all our listeners. This podcast will feature guests with expertise around conscious parenting who differ in gender, race, class, abilities, sexual orientation, and histories from us, to broaden the conversation and reflect the lives of as many people as possible. 25% of the proceeds of this podcast will go to creators of color who have been mentors and influences on our work and in our growth as parents. You can donate to this podcast by going to https://linktr.ee/yourkidsdontsuckBook with Cara: calendly.com/caratedstonetherapyBook with Rythea: rythea.com/supportsession

    Trauma Informed Practices Meet Non-Coercive Parenting: Research, Gaps, and Insights

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 29, 2024 65:32


    In this episode of Your Kids Don't Suck, Cara and Rythea sit down with researcher and parent Ash Lowenthal to discuss their PhD work on trauma-informed care and non-coercive, collaborative parenting. Ash shares their passion for challenging systems that perpetuate trauma and explores how these principles can inform parenting journeys.Key Topics:Parallels between non-coercive parenting and trauma-informed care in professional settings.Why traditional "authoritative" parenting often falls short compared to collaborative methods.Evidence supporting non-coercive approaches in fostering resilience and emotional safety in children.Practical strategies for integrating trauma-informed principles into everyday parenting.Research gaps in "gentle parenting" and why it may not always meet its promises.References:Harris & Fallot (2001): Dynamics between service providers and users can mirror abusive relationships. Envisioning a trauma-informed service system: A vital paradigm shift.Lowenthal (2020): Implementation of trauma-informed care in child- and youth-serving sectors. International Journal of Child and Adolescent Resilience.Durrant & Stewart-Tufescu (2017): Defining discipline in the era of children's rights. The International Journal of Children's Rights.Curran & Hill (2022): Impact of parental expectations and criticism on perfectionism. Psychological Bulletin.Fuentes et al. (2022): Parental warmth without strictness fosters adolescent empathy and self-concept. Frontiers in Psychology.Garcia et al. (2020): Parenting warmth and psychosocial adjustment across generations. International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health.For access to these articles (often behind paywalls), email Ash, and they'll provide a PDF version.Connect with Ash:Email: ash.lowenthal@gmail.comInstagram: @ash.lowenthal

    Healing Our Inner Child In Service to Conscious Parenting - What Does That Look Like?

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 15, 2024 36:33


    What can happen when two friends (who happen to be therapists) support each other to explore wounds and triggers with the intention of becoming a more loving parent? What does the process of tracking our triggers back in time look like? What does it mean to love the child we once were?In this episode of Your Kids Don't Suck, Rythea supports Cara as she navigates recent feelings of low-level anxiety, gently guiding her through these sensations using the Internal Family Systems (IFS) framework. Together, they uncover how Cara's current worries around parenting link back to her inner child's past experiences, where autonomy was frequently disrespected. As Cara witnesses her 2 year old now, who was assigned female at birth, growing into an independent young person, she feels echoes of her own confusion, fear, and vulnerability from childhood.Through their candid conversation, Rythea helps Cara see how these unprocessed parts of herself are reawakened in her parenting, leading to worries about her child's safety and independence that are, in fact, deeply rooted in her own experiences. This powerful episode delves into the complexity of parenting while carrying unhealed parts from our past, revealing how these fears and anxieties often stem from the ways we were left alone or felt afraid in our formative years. Listeners will resonate with the theme of self-compassion as Cara and Rythea explore how parents can become more aware of when they're projecting past experiences onto their children. They also discuss practical strategies for recognizing and calming these inner parts, helping listeners to parent from a place of clarity and presence rather than reactivity and fear.Key Takeaways:- How IFS parts work can help parents separate their past experiences from their current parenting challenges.- Understanding how unresolved childhood feelings can fuel anxieties about our children's independence.- Tools and strategies to recognize when fears about our kids are rooted in our own experiences.- The importance of self-compassion and curiosity when exploring inner parts and past wounds.Tune in for an episode that will leave you feeling understood, inspired, and ready to bring greater mindfulness into your parenting journey.--It's important and essential to put our voices (Rythea and Cara) in a context. We are two white, cis-gender, straight, middle-class women living with financial and societal privilege. Because of this, our perspectives are limited and do not reflect the realities of all our listeners. This podcast will feature guests with expertise around conscious parenting who differ in gender, race, class, abilities, sexual orientation, and histories from us, to broaden the conversation and reflect the lives of as many people as possible. 25% of the proceeds of this podcast will go to creators of color who have been mentors and influences on our work and in our growth as parents. You can donate to this podcast by going to https://linktr.ee/yourkidsdontsuckBook with Cara: calendly.com/caratedstonetherapyBook with Rythea: rythea.com/supportsession

    The Power of Play: Why Playing With Your Kids Matters

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 1, 2024 66:23


    Do you struggle with playing with your kids? When playfulness is required to make a difficult moment easier, do you feel blocked, stuck, shut-down, or reactive?In this episode, therapists Cara and Rythea dive into the transformative power of playing with your kids, no matter their age. They explore the why behind play—why it's essential for healthy development and connection—and dig into the research on the benefits of play in strengthening the parent-child relationship. Through both personal stories and professional insights, they discuss the systemic and emotional barriers that can prevent parents from embracing play and share practical ways to overcome these obstacles. Cara sheds light on how to guide kids through story and play, especially neurodiverse children, drawing from her experience working with families and ND kids. From letting go of perfectionism to using improv skills to meet kids on their level, Cara and Rythea discuss how to become more playful and attuned as parents, regardless of past experiences with play.Tune in to discover how to turn playtime into meaningful, joyful connection time with your kids!Resources from this episode:Rythea's book recommendation: Playful Parenting: An Exciting New Approach to Raising Children That Will Help You Nurture Close Connections, Solve Behavior Problems, and Encourage Confidence by Lawrence J. Cohen, PhDResearch on play referenced in this episode: Brown, E. A., & Dunn, J. (2010). The role of play in social development. Child Development Perspectives, 4(2), 91-95.Fisher, K. R., & Hirsh-Pasek, K. (2012). Playing around in school: The role of play in development. American Journal of Play, 4(2), 155-175.Hakkarainen, P., & Palviainen, T. (2011). Cultural tools and practices in the development of young children. European Early Childhood Education Research Journal, 19(1), 43-56.Harter, S. (2012). The self-perception profile for children: Manual and questionnaires. University of Denver.Kaderavek, J. N., & Justice, L. M. (2013). Shared storybook reading: A new strategy for language and literacy. Language, Speech, and Hearing Services in Schools, 44(3), 245-258.Ladd, G. W., & Burgess, K. W. (2015). Peer relationships and school adjustment. Child Development, 86(3), 720-731.Morris, A. S., et al. (2013). The role of parenting in children's emotional regulation. Emotion, 13(2), 238-249.Piek, J. P., et al. (2010). Motor skills and developmental coordination disorders. Developmental Psychology, 46(5), 1132-1141.Pizarro, J., et al. (2017). Play therapy for children experiencing stress. Journal of Child and Family Studies, 26(3), 778-785.Shlafer, R. J., & Poehlmann, J. (2010). Attachment and parenting. In Handbook of child psychology (Vol. 3). Wiley.--It's important and essential to put our voices (Rythea and Cara) in a context. We are two white, cis-gender, straight, middle-class women living with financial and societal privilege. Because of this, our perspectives are limited and do not reflect the realities of all our listeners. This podcast will feature guests with expertise around conscious parenting who differ in gender, race, class, abilities, sexual orientation, and histories from us, to broaden the conversation and reflect the lives of as many people as possible. 25% of the proceeds of this podcast will go to creators of color who have been mentors and influences on our work and in our growth as parents. You can donate to this podcast by going to https://linktr.ee/yourkidsdontsuck

    How Dayna Martin Bucked The System and Gave Us a Map; Radical Parenting Practices and Respecting your Child

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 19, 2024 78:02


    Sometimes you meet someone online or in person and it changes the course of your life. Dayna Martin's book called “Radical Unschooling” was part of (co-host) Rythea Lee's parenting wake up call. She joined Dayna's support groups and coached with her during a time of deep distress and confusion. Dayna's loving and articulate allyship of her children and children everywhere helped Rythea turn towards non-coercion and collaboration with her daughter.What are the underpinnings of Dayna's approach and how does it fly in the face of everything we've been taught about teaching and raising children?Join us as Dayna shares more about what stepping out of our society norms did for her children and her family. She shares personal anecdotes on how she handles negative reactions and remains grounded in her values, providing listeners with insight into the resilience required to stand up for unconventional beliefs. Unschooling, for Dayna, is part of a broader social justice initiative. She talks about how giving children autonomy over their learning can challenge and help dismantle oppressive systems, including those that perpetuate racism, sexism, and homophobia. She believes that empowering children to think critically and empathetically from an early age can contribute to a more inclusive and compassionate society.Addressing common critiques—such as concerns that children who unschool aren't learning or that unschooling parents are neglectful—Dayna shares her responses. She explains that unschooling isn't about a lack of learning but about transforming how we approach education, highlighting the extensive skills and knowledge her children have gained outside traditional schooling.She gives listeners an inside look at her family's current dynamics and shares updates on what her children are passionate about, from creative projects to budding interests, illustrating how unschooling has allowed them to pursue what genuinely excites them.Join Cara, Rythea, and Dayna as they explore the powerful intersections of unschooling, freedom, and social change, challenging us to rethink our approaches to education and parenting.Connect with Dayna:https://www.facebook.com/DaynaMartinhttps://daynamartin.comhttps://radicalunschooling.com--It's important and essential to put our voices (Rythea and Cara) in a context. We are two white, cis-gender, straight, middle-class women living with financial and societal privilege. Because of this, our perspectives are limited and do not reflect the realities of all our listeners. This podcast will feature guests with expertise around conscious parenting who differ in gender, race, class, abilities, sexual orientation, and histories from us, to broaden the conversation and reflect the lives of as many people as possible. 25% of the proceeds of this podcast will go to creators of color who have been mentors and influences on our work and in our growth as parents. You can donate to this podcast by going to https://linktr.ee/yourkidsdontsuck

    Untigering: How Iris Chen went from “Tiger Mother” to Non-Coercive Parent

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 4, 2024 62:37


    We're back with a brand new season featuring the wonderful Iris Chen from @untigering! Iris shares her personal experiences of transitioning from being a "tiger mother" to a parent who fosters connection, collaboration, and respect with her children.In this episode:- Defining Untigering: What does it mean to be a “deconstructing tiger mother”? Iris breaks down the concept of "untigering" and how it challenges the traditional authoritarian approach, especially within the Asian community.- Non-Coercive Parenting: Cara and Rythea ask Iris about parenting two teens- her journey with non-coercion, unschooling, and creating a family culture of connection.- From Authoritative to Collaborative Parent: Iris shares the pivotal moments that led to this shift and the changes she saw in her relationship with her children. She breaks down the results and positive impact of making this choice. Rythea and Cara chime in on the “A-ha” moments that brought them into this approach.- Biggest Blocks for Parents: Drawing from her coaching experience, Iris discusses the common challenges and mental blocks parents face when making the shift toward non-authoritarian parenting. She offers advice and insights on overcoming these obstacles.- Cultural Resistance: Iris takes a special focus on the Asian community's unique challenges with authoritarian parenting. She opens up about why it's hard for some families to let go of strict, obedience-focused methods, and how to create space for healing and transformation.- Unschooling and Its Purpose: Iris talks about her experience with unschooling and how it aligns with her values and mission to foster freedom, autonomy, and joy in learning for her children.Join us for an insightful conversation about parenting, culture, activism, and how we can build healthier relationships with our children by embracing connection over control.Tune in to hear how Iris's journey can inspire your own parenting transformation!Connect with Iris:Instagram: @untigeringhttps://untigering.comuntigering@gmail.com--It's important and essential to put our voices (Rythea and Cara) in a context. We are two white, cis-gender, straight, middle-class women living with financial and societal privilege. Because of this, our perspectives are limited and do not reflect the realities of all our listeners. This podcast will feature guests with expertise around conscious parenting who differ in gender, race, class, abilities, sexual orientation, and histories from us, to broaden the conversation and reflect the lives of as many people as possible. 25% of the proceeds of this podcast will go to creators of color who have been mentors and influences on our work and in our growth as parents. You can donate to this podcast by going to https://linktr.ee/yourkidsdontsuck

    Exploring Your Triggers Through IFS Therapy: Demonstrating “Parts Work” with Rythea

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 19, 2024 36:16


    In this episode of YKDS, therapists Cara and Rythea delve into a powerful therapeutic process with Rythea, exploring how her triggers impact her parenting choices. Using the Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy modality as a guide, they help Rythea to identify and understand the different parts of herself that influence her feelings and behaviors and how they come into her parenting, particularly in relation to a painful experience she's currently facing. Rythea explores triggers around being an activist, keeping her and her daughter safe, and how that relates to her childhood.Rythea and Cara introduce working with inner parts, illustrating the deep feelings and beliefs that exist inside of our inner child parts. Through Rythea's process, they demonstrate how to identify different parts within oneself, discovering the reasons these parts emerge and how they influence our reactivity with our kids. This episode provides practical insights for parents, showing how IFS can be a valuable tool for understanding triggers, with examples of parts work in action to improve parenting and self-healing.This episode is particularly valuable for parents seeking to better understand their feelings and actions and to identify what they truly need to do for their internal and external family systems. An episode that directly addresses how our inner work impacts our children, it offers unique insights into improving family dynamics. It's a hopeful resource for parents looking to navigate their emotions and actions towards a more harmonious family life!Check out the book Cara and Rythea refer to on Internal Family Systems (IFS) - No Bad Parts: Healing Trauma and Restoring Wholeness with the Internal Family Systems Model by Dick Schwartz, Founder of IFS: https://ifs-institute.com/nobadparts--It's important and essential to put our voices (Rythea and Cara) in a context. We are two white, cis-gender, straight, middle-class women living with financial and societal privilege. Because of this, our perspectives are limited and do not reflect the realities of all our listeners. This podcast will feature guests with expertise around conscious parenting who differ in gender, race, class, abilities, sexual orientation, and histories from us, to broaden the conversation and reflect the lives of as many people as possible. 25% of the proceeds of this podcast will go to creators of color who have been mentors and influences on our work and in our growth as parents. You can donate to this podcast by going to https://linktr.ee/yourkidsdontsuck

    Growing Up Without Coercion: A Conversation with Vivek Patel and His Daughter

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 5, 2024 72:39


    In this inspiring and heartfelt episode, hosts Rythea and Cara sit down with Vivek Patel, dear friend and renowned parenting coach, known for his non-coercive, collaborative parenting approach, and his 27-year-old daughter Veets! The conversation dives into the unique dynamics of their father-daughter relationship, exploring how Veets' upbringing has shaped her view of parents and children, friendships, work-life, her family, and her relationship with herself.Vivek shares more on the underlying philosophy of non-coercive, collaborative parenting and the principles he teaches to thousands of parents worldwide. He explains how this approach focuses on mutual respect and understanding, rather than control and compliance. As Veets reflects on her upbringing, she illustrates the profound impact this philosophy had on her whole family as they struggled with the limitations of the world around them. Throughout our conversation, the closeness and honesty between Vivek and Veets is evident, offering listeners a genuine glimpse into their relationship. Their anecdotes showcase the mutuality and deep attunement that is possible when parents focus on equality, attachment, and self-responsibility.Rythea and Cara chime in often, adding their challenges and questions, as newer non-coercive & collaborative parents. Find Vivek on his website http://www.meaningfulideas.com and @meaningfulideas on all socials:http://www.facebook.com/meaningfulideashttps://www.youtube.com/meaningfulideashttp://www.instagram.com/meaningfulideashttps://www.tiktok.com/@meaningfulideashttps://x.com/meaningfulideas--It's important and essential to put our voices (Rythea and Cara) in a context. We are two white, cis-gender, straight, middle-class women living with financial and societal privilege. Because of this, our perspectives are limited and do not reflect the realities of all our listeners. This podcast will feature guests with expertise around conscious parenting who differ in gender, race, class, abilities, sexual orientation, and histories from us, to broaden the conversation and reflect the lives of as many people as possible. 25% of the proceeds of this podcast will go to creators of color who have been mentors and influences on our work and in our growth as parents. You can donate to this podcast by going to https://linktr.ee/yourkidsdontsuck

    The Undeniable Rewards of Parenting Collaboratively

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 21, 2024 64:53


    What are the wins in doing the deep work of dismantling coercion and control in our parenting? Why do it? Why work so hard to break generational patterns? What does it give you, your family, your child?In this episode, Cara and Rythea focus on the profound closeness, joy, and harmony that comes from diving into this parenting philosophy. They give examples with their children and partners of breaking through stuck places to mutual respect and flow. Cara has a toddler and Rythea's daughter is twelve, and both of them are devoted to non-coercion and collaboration with in their family systems. Join us for reports on the undeniable wins with their children.This episode is especially valuable for parents struggling to let go of controlling behaviors, offering a glimpse into how trusting the process can lead to more enriching family relationships. We highlight the importance of appreciating children for who they are, rather than focusing solely on external behaviors and achievements, providing listeners with an optimistic and compassionate parenting mindset.--If you want to be on our newsletter and get an announcement each time a new episode is released, please send us your email information to Rythea@crocker.comGet in touch with Rythea and Cara, buy our books and watch our content at https://linktr.ee/yourkidsdontsuckFind all our episodes at https://rss.com/podcasts/yourkidsdontsuckIt's important and essential to put our voices (Rythea and Cara) in a context. We are two white, cis-gender, straight, middle-class women living with financial and societal privilege. Because of this, our perspectives are limited and do not reflect the realities of all our listeners. This podcast will feature guests with expertise around conscious parenting who differ in gender, race, class, abilities, sexual orientation, and histories from us, to broaden the conversation and reflect the lives of as many people as possible. 25% of the proceeds of this podcast will go to creators of color who have been mentors and influences on our work and in our growth as parents. You can donate to this podcast by going to https://linktr.ee/yourkidsdontsuck

    One Family's Turnaround: Risky Teen Behavior, a Blended Family, & a Choice that Changed Everything

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 7, 2024 71:27


    Alesandra Rodriguez, Mom of 4 kids in a blended family, joins Rythea and Cara to discuss risky teen behaviors and tells the powerful story of a radical turnaround with her fourteen year old daughter.Alesandra shares her journey of coming to the non-coercion mindset through Rythea's support group and plunging her and her family into this counter-culture philosophy that has opened up and changed the whole family system. She explains her history of growing up under a fundamentalist Christian household, seeing spanking as the norm, and being lost in authoritarian patterns which led her to shift to a parenting reality she had never known or seen.This heartening and uplifting story serves as a beacon of hope for parents seeking a more respectful and compassionate approach to raising their children in challenging environments. This is a must listen if you have a teens or tweens!--If you want to be on our newsletter and get an announcement each time a new episode is released, please send us your email information to Rythea@crocker.comGet in touch with Rythea and Cara, buy our books and watch our content at https://linktr.ee/yourkidsdontsuckFind all our episodes at https://rss.com/podcasts/yourkidsdontsuckIt's important and essential to put our voices (Rythea and Cara) in a context. We are two white, cis-gender, straight, middle-class women living with financial and societal privilege. Because of this, our perspectives are limited and do not reflect the realities of all our listeners. This podcast will feature guests with expertise around conscious parenting who differ in gender, race, class, abilities, sexual orientation, and histories from us, to broaden the conversation and reflect the lives of as many people as possible. 25% of the proceeds of this podcast will go to creators of color who have been mentors and influences on our work and in our growth as parents. You can donate to this podcast by going to https://linktr.ee/yourkidsdontsuck

    A Viral TikTok Birthed a Community of Parents; Here's The Story...

    Play Episode Listen Later May 24, 2024 43:17


    A few years ago, Rythea had no idea what TikTok was... But she jumped on the app with the encouragement of a friend and her spontaneous video about parenting went viral. Find out what happened next in this episode of Your Kids Don't Suck, where Cara and Rythea use three TikToks to talk about how humor woke up large numbers of eager parents who were waiting for an alternative to mainstream parenting practices. Topics covered include the problem with “non-negotiables”, creating a culture of honesty in a family system, and why resisting coercion might save your relationship with your child. --If you want to be on our newsletter and get an announcement each time a new episode is released, please send us your email information to Rythea@crocker.comGet in touch with Rythea and Cara, buy our books and watch our content at https://linktr.ee/yourkidsdontsuckFind all our episodes at https://rss.com/podcasts/yourkidsdontsuckIt's important and essential to put our voices (Rythea and Cara) in a context. We are two white, cis-gender, straight, middle-class women living with financial and societal privilege. Because of this, our perspectives are limited and do not reflect the realities of all our listeners. This podcast will feature guests with expertise around conscious parenting who differ in gender, race, class, abilities, sexual orientation, and histories from us, to broaden the conversation and reflect the lives of as many people as possible. 25% of the proceeds of this podcast will go to creators of color who have been mentors and influences on our work and in our growth as parents. You can donate to this podcast by going to https://linktr.ee/yourkidsdontsuck

    Shifting your Parenting Mindset from Fundamentalist Upbringing to Non-Coercion featuring Siegwen

    Play Episode Listen Later May 10, 2024 56:30


    In this episode, Cara and Rythea delve deep into an inspiring story of deconstructing a fundamentalist Christian upbringing to embracing non-coercive parenting, with their guest, Siegwen, a single parent of four.Siegwen shares their powerful story of transformation, recounting the challenges of breaking free from a fundamentalist Christian environment and the pivotal moments that led them to embrace non-coercive parenting. They explore the key moments where they felt the pull towards corporal punishment and the overpowering impulse to stop the cycle. What are the repercussions of walking away from a childhood and a community that oppresses children? What are the rewards of refusing to do to your children what was done to you?Throughout the episode, Siegwen reflects on the joy and closeness they have found with their children since embracing non-coercive parenting, showcasing the transformative power of love, empathy, and understanding that non-coercive, collaborative parenting brings. Siegwen models the freedom that comes from breaking religious and familial cycles of trauma and abuse.--If you want to be on our newsletter and get an announcement each time a new episode is released, please send us your email information to Rythea@crocker.comGet in touch with Rythea and Cara, buy our books and watch our content at https://linktr.ee/yourkidsdontsuckFind all our episodes at https://rss.com/podcasts/yourkidsdontsuckIt's important and essential to put our voices (Rythea and Cara) in a context. We are two white, cis-gender, straight, middle-class women living with financial and societal privilege. Because of this, our perspectives are limited and do not reflect the realities of all our listeners. This podcast will feature guests with expertise around conscious parenting who differ in gender, race, class, abilities, sexual orientation, and histories from us, to broaden the conversation and reflect the lives of as many people as possible. 25% of the proceeds of this podcast will go to creators of color who have been mentors and influences on our work and in our growth as parents. You can donate to this podcast by going to https://linktr.ee/yourkidsdontsuck

    A Parent's Therapeutic Process: Using the six steps of Inner Bonding® to resolve reactivity around bedtime or other issues

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 27, 2024 64:40


    Content Advisory: This episode contains discussion of childhood sexual trauma in a therapeutic contextIn this episode, therapist Rythea Lee introduces the episode's focus on navigating bedtime struggles with her 12-year-old daughter. Rythea explores how her childhood trauma currently impacts her relationship to bedtime triggers, and discusses how it challenges her ability to problem-solve or think clearly about the issue. She takes herself through a process called Inner Bonding®, an emotional, psychological modality that helps resolve wounded patterns from the pastThis episode is aimed to give parents an example of what a therapeutic process looks like and how it leads to personal accountability, and then closeness with our children. Rythea shares the deep, painful roots of reactivity that surfaces at night when it is bedtime. This is a template for processing any issue that can arise with our kids.Rythea goes through the six steps of the Inner Bonding® process to show you how it works:Main Content:1. Understanding Inner Bonding®:- Step 1: Tuning into feelings and how it connects to the body- Step 2: Moving into an intent to learn about feeling- Step 3: Dialogue with the inner child and finding out the false beliefs- Step 4: Connecting with higher self and getting the truth about the false beliefs in the present time- Step 5: Taking loving action- Step 6: Evaluating the effectiveness of actions, returning to the process if needed2. Application in Real-Time:- Rythea shares her experience of applying Inner Bonding® during bedtime struggles- Cara asks insightful questions and offers reflections to deepen Rythea's understanding of her process3. Update on Progress:- Rythea provides an update on how Inner Bonding® has impacted her bedtime interactions with her daughter- Despite challenges, she notes a significant shift in their dynamic towards more understanding and connectionAdditional Resources:- Link to Inner Bonding steps: [Inner Bonding - The Six Steps] (https://rythea.com/inner-bonding-the-six-steps)

    Neurodiversity and OccuPLAYtional Therapy in School: A Conversation with Kelise Olds

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 12, 2024 61:45


    Welcome back to Your Kids Don't Suck! Today, we're thrilled to have Kelsie Olds, also known as The Occuplaytional Therapist on social media. Kelsie is a parent and occupational therapist specializing in child-led and neurodiversity-affirming occupational therapy.We discuss:Kelsie's Training and Approach:Rythea and Cara delve into Kelsie's background as an occupational therapist, exploring what this means and how it shapes her approach to working with children.The Child-Centered Approach:Kelsie discusses her approach to working with kids, emphasizing child-led methods and its alignment with her non-authoritarian parenting style. She contrasts this with mainstream practices, highlighting the differences and benefits.Navigating Neurodiversity:The conversation shifts towards neurodiversity and how Kelsie transitions from a behaviorist lens to a more connected and conscious approach both as a parent and professional.Support in Schools:Kelsie shares insights into her work (and play) within school settings, detailing how she supports children, teachers, and staff in the strong direction of non-coercive practices. The hosts inquire about steps parents can take if they feel their child isn't receiving adequate support in schools.Advice for Educators:We seek advice from Kelsie on how educators can become more conscious and connected in their approach to teaching and supporting children.Find Kelsie on socials:https://www.occuplaytional.com/@occuplaytional on Instagram https://www.facebook.com/occuplaytional--If you want to be on our newsletter and get an announcement each time a new episode is released, please send us your email information to Rythea@crocker.comGet in touch with Rythea and Cara, buy our books and watch our content at https://linktr.ee/yourkidsdontsuckFind all our episodes at https://rss.com/podcasts/yourkidsdontsuckIt's important and essential to put our voices (Rythea and Cara) in a context. We are two white, cis-gender, straight, middle-class women living with financial and societal privilege. Because of this, our perspectives are limited and do not reflect the realities of all our listeners. This podcast will feature guests with expertise around conscious parenting who differ in gender, race, class, abilities, sexual orientation, and histories from us, to broaden the conversation and reflect the lives of as many people as possible. 25% of the proceeds of this podcast will go to creators of color who have been mentors and influences on our work and in our growth as parents. You can donate to this podcast by going to https://linktr.ee/yourkidsdontsuck

    You Asked Us: Navigating Conflict with Siblings, and Co-Parenting Challenges!

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 29, 2024 56:23


    In this episode, hosts Rythea Lee and Cara Tedstone delve into listener questions about navigating conflicts between children and/or siblings, and co-parenting with differing parenting styles. Drawing from their expertise in non-coercive, collaborative parenting, Rythea and Cara provide insightful guidance on fostering connection with your child(ren) within difficult family dynamics.Rythea emphasizes the crucial role of active and involved parenting in resolving conflicts between children and siblings. She advocates for removing blame, maintaining transparency when unsure how to help, and developing regular collaboration with children to address problems. Cara shares practical family therapy advice on effective communication with children during conflicts. The hosts advise parents on what to say and what not to say, emphasizing the significance of validating children's experiences and emotions. By implementing these strategies, parents can stay find the through-line of empathy and closeness with their child.Rythea and Cara explore the complexities of co-parenting when faced with differing parenting styles. They offer recommendations for navigating these differences while prioritizing the child's well-being. The discussion delves into techniques for maintaining consistency and respect across households, ensuring that the child's experience remains at the forefront of decision-making. --If you want to be on our newsletter and get an announcement each time a new episode is released, please send us your email information to Rythea@crocker.comGet in touch with Rythea and Cara, buy our books and watch our content at https://linktr.ee/yourkidsdontsuckFind all our episodes at https://rss.com/podcasts/yourkidsdontsuckIt's important and essential to put our voices (Rythea and Cara) in a context. We are two white, cis-gender, straight, middle-class women living with financial and societal privilege. Because of this, our perspectives are limited and do not reflect the realities of all our listeners. This podcast will feature guests with expertise around conscious parenting who differ in gender, race, class, abilities, sexual orientation, and histories from us, to broaden the conversation and reflect the lives of as many people as possible. 25% of the proceeds of this podcast will go to creators of color who have been mentors and influences on our work and in our growth as parents. You can donate to this podcast by going to https://linktr.ee/yourkidsdontsuck

    Class, Capitalism, and Community: Decolonizing Our Parenting with Yolanda Williams

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 15, 2024 66:19


    Welcome to another episode of "Your Kids Don't Suck"! In this episode, hosts Rythea Lee and Cara Tedstone engage in a thought-provoking conversation with Yolanda Williams, a radical justice educator, mother, and conscious parenting coach.Rythea and Cara delve into a crucial discussion with Yolanda on the pervasive influence of capitalism on our lives and, more specifically, on self-care. Together, they explore how societal structures impact our ability to prioritize our well-being and the subsequent implications on our parenting. This conversation includes differences in class, equity, and resource options in families.Yolanda sheds light on how traditional parenting practices are entwined with colonial ideologies and the importance of dismantling these structures not only for the empowerment of our children, but in service to fostering love and closeness with our kids. We also touch on topics around building community, raising a neurodiverse child, owning our limitations in the dynamic with our children, and when it is time to seek help. Rythea, Cara and Yolanda illuminate the path towards conscious and empowered parenting, challenging societal norms for the well-being of our children.Find Yolanda on her website: https://parentingdecolonized.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/prntgdcolonized/Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/parenting-decolonized/id1538348623--If you want to be on our newsletter and get an announcement each time a new episode is released, please send us your email information to Rythea@crocker.comGet in touch with Rythea and Cara, buy our books and watch our content at https://linktr.ee/yourkidsdontsuckFind all our episodes at https://rss.com/podcasts/yourkidsdontsuckIt's important and essential to put our voices (Rythea and Cara) in a context. We are two white, cis-gender, straight, middle-class women living with financial and societal privilege. Because of this, our perspectives are limited and do not reflect the realities of all our listeners. This podcast will feature guests with expertise around conscious parenting who differ in gender, race, class, abilities, sexual orientation, and histories from us, to broaden the conversation and reflect the lives of as many people as possible. 25% of the proceeds of this podcast will go to creators of color who have been mentors and influences on our work and in our growth as parents. You can donate to this podcast by going to https://linktr.ee/yourkidsdontsuck

    Controversial Topic Alert: Navigating Screen Time!

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 1, 2024 62:10


    It's an episode you've been waiting for - Cara and Rythea tackle the ever-controversial topic of screen time. As parents themselves and therapists working with families, they delve into the complexities surrounding this issue and offer practical insights for navigating screen time boundaries within family dynamics. We start by exploring why screen time has become such a polarizing and emotionally charged subject for parents. Drawing from our own experiences and observations, we unpack the underlying anxieties and societal pressures that contribute to the intense scrutiny of screen usage in modern family life. We share strategies for maintaining connection and conscious awareness of triggers and emotions as parents, emphasizing the importance of open communication and mutual respect. Cara and Rythea reiterate the importance of approaching screen time discussions with empathy, curiosity, and flexibility - by reframing the conversation and prioritizing connection over control, families can navigate the complexities of screen time with greater ease and harmony.--If you want to be on our newsletter and get an announcement each time a new episode is released, please send us your email information to Rythea@crocker.comGet in touch with Rythea and Cara, buy our books and watch our content at https://linktr.ee/yourkidsdontsuckFind all our episodes at https://rss.com/podcasts/yourkidsdontsuckIt's important and essential to put our voices (Rythea and Cara) in a context. We are two white, cis-gender, straight, middle-class women living with financial and societal privilege. Because of this, our perspectives are limited and do not reflect the realities of all our listeners. This podcast will feature guests with expertise around conscious parenting who differ in gender, race, class, abilities, sexual orientation, and histories from us, to broaden the conversation and reflect the lives of as many people as possible. 25% of the proceeds of this podcast will go to creators of color who have been mentors and influences on our work and in our growth as parents. You can donate to this podcast by going to https://linktr.ee/yourkidsdontsuck

    What About Our Partners?

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 16, 2024 68:50


    In this episode of Your Kids Don't Suck, hosts Rythea Lee and Cara Tedstone dive deep into the world of non-coercive parenting within the framework of coparenting relationships. Joined by Rythea's partner Will and Cara's husband Sanjay, the conversation unfolds into a heartfelt exploration of parenting dynamics and philosophies. Sanjay and Will offer unique perspectives on parenting, bringing diverse backgrounds and value systems to the table. Together, they share their personal journeys into the realm of non-coercive parenting, shedding light on the challenges and triumphs encountered along the way. Listeners gain insight into the reasons behind Will and Sanjay's embrace of non-coercive parenting as a guiding philosophy. Drawing from their own experiences and upbringing, they reflect on how traditional parenting models shaped their worldview and the pivotal moments that led them to explore alternative approaches. You'll hear about the nuances of non-coercive parenting, with Will and Sanjay candidly discussing the toughest aspects of adopting this mindset. From confronting societal norms to reconciling with their own upbringing, they offer a raw and honest portrayal of the obstacles faced on their journey. Tune in to this heartfelt and illuminating episode of YKDS to discover what it's like for non-mothers to parent in a way that challenges convention and nurtures connection!--If you want to be on our newsletter and get an announcement each time a new episode is released, please send us your email information to Rythea@crocker.comGet in touch with Rythea and Cara, buy our books and watch our content at https://linktr.ee/yourkidsdontsuckFind all our episodes at https://rss.com/podcasts/yourkidsdontsuckIt's important and essential to put our voices (Rythea and Cara) in a context. We are two white, cis-gender, straight, middle-class women living with financial and societal privilege. Because of this, our perspectives are limited and do not reflect the realities of all our listeners. This podcast will feature guests with expertise around conscious parenting who differ in gender, race, class, abilities, sexual orientation, and histories from us, to broaden the conversation and reflect the lives of as many people as possible. 25% of the proceeds of this podcast will go to creators of color who have been mentors and influences on our work and in our growth as parents. You can donate to this podcast by going to https://linktr.ee/yourkidsdontsuck

    Rethinking Obedience: Non-Coercion in Early Childhood and Beyond

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 22, 2023 66:38


    In this episode of YKDS, hosts Cara and Rythea engage in a thought-provoking discussion on the concept of obedience. They delve into its definition, highlighting real-life examples of non-coercive parenting drawn from Cara's day-to-day experiences with her toddler. The hosts explore practical ways to implement collaboration with young children, emphasizing its crucial role in fostering trust, connection, play, and discovery.Cara and Rythea, both therapists, explore how our early childhood relational experiences often get reenacted in adulthood and what it takes to interrupt those patterns as parents breaking a cycle. Tune in for a compelling dialogue that challenges main stream notions of obedience and opens doors to a more dynamic and mutually satisfying approach to raising resilient, empathetic, empowered children.--If you want to be on our newsletter and get an announcement each time a new episode is released, please send us your email information to Rythea@crocker.comGet in touch with Rythea and Cara, buy our books and watch our content at https://linktr.ee/yourkidsdontsuckFind all our episodes at https://rss.com/podcasts/yourkidsdontsuckIt's important and essential to put our voices (Rythea and Cara) in a context. We are two white, cis-gender, straight, middle-class women living with financial and societal privilege. Because of this, our perspectives are limited and do not reflect the realities of all our listeners. This podcast will feature guests with expertise around conscious parenting who differ in gender, race, class, abilities, sexual orientation, and histories from us, to broaden the conversation and reflect the lives of as many people as possible. 25% of the proceeds of this podcast will go to creators of color who have been mentors and influences on our work and in our growth as parents. You can donate to this podcast by going to https://linktr.ee/yourkidsdontsuck

    Mom and Adult Daughter on Growing Up with Non-Coercion: The Result; Best Friends

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 8, 2023 90:48


    What does it look like to have grown up being treated like someone of equal value to your parent? Rythea Lee's long-time sister-of-choice, Naomi Sparrow, parented in a non-coercive way long before there was a name for it. She didn't call it that, she says: “I tried not to hurt my kid, justify it, and get away with it.” Naomi worked to protect her daughter's autonomy with no support or reference point. Eventually she could name it “attachment parenting a neurodiverse child with sensory issues”, but those labels came later.All while Maggie was growing up, Naomi followed her daughter's cues and cultivated something they both now call “solidarity.” What was the result? Well, Naomi and her daughter Maggie join us here to talk about the outcome of a natural, non-authoritarian approach. They cover so many topics including neurodiversity, masking, divorce, high-needs children, homeschooling, self-doubt, and parent/child friendship. And at 23 years old, Maggie gives us a wonderful perspective on being the child in a non-coercive equation! Rythea and Cara chime in and resonate with much of the challenges and questions of going against the grain of mainstream parenting to discover unfolding and lasting friendships with their children.--If you want to be on our newsletter and get an announcement each time a new episode is released, please send us your email information to Rythea@crocker.comGet in touch with Rythea and Cara, buy our books and watch our content at https://linktr.ee/yourkidsdontsuckFind all our episodes at https://rss.com/podcasts/yourkidsdontsuckIt's important and essential to put our voices (Rythea and Cara) in a context. We are two white, cis-gender, straight, middle-class women living with financial and societal privilege. Because of this, our perspectives are limited and do not reflect the realities of all our listeners. This podcast will feature guests with expertise around conscious parenting who differ in gender, race, class, abilities, sexual orientation, and histories from us, to broaden the conversation and reflect the lives of as many people as possible. 25% of the proceeds of this podcast will go to creators of color who have been mentors and influences on our work and in our growth as parents. You can donate to this podcast by going to https://linktr.ee/yourkidsdontsuck

    You Asked Us: Should I Confront My Dysfunctional Parents? And How to Apologize to Your Child

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 24, 2023 37:18


    In today's episode, we're diving into a Q&A format, addressing two thought-provoking questions from our listeners.Many of us grapple with the realization that our parents may have unintentionally or intentionally hurt us in the past, but the decision to confront them as an adult is a complex one. We share our insights on whether it's the right time for one listener to tackle this emotionally charged issue. Drawing from our experience as therapists, we discuss the potential benefits and risks of such a conversation.We also discuss another listener's question around effective ways to apologize and reconnect with your child after moments we feel we have acted out of alignment with our values. Listen as we provide practical tips for repairing the parent-child relationship and explore what a sincere, relationship-focused, and deeply meaningful apology looks and sounds like. Stay tuned for more Q&A episodes, and write us your questions at yourkidsdontsuck@gmail.com to be featured!--If you want to be on our newsletter and get an announcement each time a new episode is released, please send us your email information to Rythea@crocker.comGet in touch with Rythea and Cara, buy our books and watch our content at https://linktr.ee/yourkidsdontsuckFind all our episodes at https://rss.com/podcasts/yourkidsdontsuckIt's important and essential to put our voices (Rythea and Cara) in a context. We are two white, cis-gender, straight, middle-class women living with financial and societal privilege. Because of this, our perspectives are limited and do not reflect the realities of all our listeners. This podcast will feature guests with expertise around conscious parenting who differ in gender, race, class, abilities, sexual orientation, and histories from us, to broaden the conversation and reflect the lives of as many people as possible. 25% of the proceeds of this podcast will go to creators of color who have been mentors and influences on our work and in our growth as parents. You can donate to this podcast by going to https://linktr.ee/yourkidsdontsuck

    She's a Mom of 5 Kids; What's Her Secret? Featuring Tanisha Henderson

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 10, 2023 85:59


    We heard you and you want to know: How the hell do you collaboratively and consciously parent when you have multiple kids?! Non-coercive, conscious mom-to-five, Tanisha Henderson is here to answer this question and SO MUCH MORE.The episode begins with Tanisha sharing her personal journey to becoming a conscious, collaborative parent. She discusses her inspirations, pivotal moments, and the transformative experiences that led her to embrace non-coercive parenting as her guiding philosophy. She shares how she has come to see each of her kids as a whole person, how she supports the relationships between her children, and guides the flow of a busy and focused household. Tanisha homeschools so her skills are especially impressive when talking about the dynamics of learning and growth. There is no way you will not learn something uplifting when listening to this episode!Tanisha's work extends beyond her own family - listen as she shares her experiences working with other Black families who face specific struggles and triggers that she is has tackled personally and now professionally. We were utterly moved and uplifted by Tanisha's passion for her purpose and we hope you'll feel the same!Find Tanisha on her Facebook page - on Facebook, search "Kid Advice with Tanisha Henderson" or go to https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100095308454472--If you want to be on our newsletter and get an announcement each time a new episode is released, please send us your email information to Rythea@crocker.comGet in touch with Rythea and Cara, buy our books and watch our content at https://linktr.ee/yourkidsdontsuckFind all our episodes at https://rss.com/podcasts/yourkidsdontsuckIt's important and essential to put our voices (Rythea and Cara) in a context. We are two white, cis-gender, straight, middle-class women living with financial and societal privilege. Because of this, our perspectives are limited and do not reflect the realities of all our listeners. This podcast will feature guests with expertise around conscious parenting who differ in gender, race, class, abilities, sexual orientation, and histories from us, to broaden the conversation and reflect the lives of as many people as possible. 25% of the proceeds of this podcast will go to creators of color who have been mentors and influences on our work and in our growth as parents. You can donate to this podcast by going to https://linktr.ee/yourkidsdontsuck

    Is This Permissive Parenting? Let's Discuss...

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 27, 2023 21:54


    On today's episode, we'll be exploring the differences between non-coercive, conscious parenting and permissive parenting. So many people get confused by collaboration and mutuality with kids and think it points to a free-for-all, hands-off approach. Here we explore the fears that often prevent parents from embracing non-coercive conscious parenting and emphasize how societal norms and pressures can make parents feel that they must maintain control and authority at all times. We offer a perspective towards an alternative, more connected approach and bust some of the myths that we encounter when we share that we are non-coercive, conscious parents.--If you want to be on our newsletter and get an announcement each time a new episode is released, please send us your email information to Rythea@crocker.comGet in touch with Rythea and Cara, buy our books and watch our content at https://linktr.ee/yourkidsdontsuckFind all our episodes at https://rss.com/podcasts/yourkidsdontsuckIt's important and essential to put our voices (Rythea and Cara) in a context. We are two white, cis-gender, straight, middle-class women living with financial and societal privilege. Because of this, our perspectives are limited and do not reflect the realities of all our listeners. This podcast will feature guests with expertise around conscious parenting who differ in gender, race, class, abilities, sexual orientation, and histories from us, to broaden the conversation and reflect the lives of as many people as possible. 25% of the proceeds of this podcast will go to creators of color who have been mentors and influences on our work and in our growth as parents. You can donate to this podcast by going to https://linktr.ee/yourkidsdontsuck

    Trauma and Triggers: Navigating Our Own Stuff While Supporting Our Kids

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 13, 2023 41:43


    In this episode, we're diving deep into the often uncharted waters of parenting and trauma. Just about every parent has some kind of trauma from their past. Even if you don't think of yourself as a trauma survivor, it's possible your body has some natural reactions to stress that you find overwhelming. Tools for trauma responses in the body can be so helpful. Also, we live in a traumatized world and have to interface with truly painful realities every day. How does this affect our parenting? We'll open up about our own personal histories with trauma and how it influences our parenting.We share our own experiences with trauma; how our histories challenge us when attempting to be present with the beauty and magic of our kids. We highlight that it's okay for parents to have their own struggles and traumas, and it doesn't make them bad parents. We talk about people on the healing journey who also get triggered regularly into memories, bodily reactions, emotional overwhelm, and so much more. We also have harnessed tools that we use every single day in order to manage our triggers. Triggers often stem from our unresolved trauma, and we discuss how they affect our ability to be open, be connected, and have fun with our children. We use our own stories to show how we deal with triggers, and we introduce a powerful tool that all parents can use when they notice they're feeling triggered by their children. --If you want to be on our newsletter and get an announcement each time a new episode is released, please send us your email information to Rythea@crocker.comGet in touch with Rythea and Cara, buy our books and watch our content at https://linktr.ee/yourkidsdontsuckFind all our episodes at https://rss.com/podcasts/yourkidsdontsuckIt's important and essential to put our voices (Rythea and Cara) in a context. We are two white, cis-gender, straight, middle-class women living with financial and societal privilege. Because of this, our perspectives are limited and do not reflect the realities of all our listeners. This podcast will feature guests with expertise around conscious parenting who differ in gender, race, class, abilities, sexual orientation, and histories from us, to broaden the conversation and reflect the lives of as many people as possible. 25% of the proceeds of this podcast will go to creators of color who have been mentors and influences on our work and in our growth as parents. You can donate to this podcast by going to https://linktr.ee/yourkidsdontsuckIn addition, the content provided via Your Kids Don't Suck is intended for informational and entertainment purposes only. The discussions, insights, and advice shared are not a substitute for professional therapy, counselling, or medical advice. While we strive to offer valuable perspectives, it is crucial to recognize that everyone's situation is entirely unique. If you are dealing with relational, mental health, and/or medical issues, we strongly encourage you to seek the assistance of qualified professionals who can provide tailored and specific advice based on your individual circumstances.Our podcast is not a replacement for therapy or medical consultation. If you are in distress or experiencing a crisis, it is important to reach out to a mental health professional, counsellor, or a medical doctor. In case of immediate danger or emergencies, please contact your local emergency services or a crisis helpline.

    What's Wrong with Coercion? Featuring Vivek Patel

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 28, 2023 68:35


    In Episode 3, Rythea and Cara are joined by Vivek Patel of @meaningfulideas to discuss the framework of non-coercive, collaborative parenting. Rythea tells the story of what led her to this parenting lifestyle and how Vivek's support and body of work brought her to where she is now. Also in this episode:What's wrong with coercion?How does coercion relate to boundaries and limits with our kids?Real life examples of the benefits of non-coercion from very young children, to grown up childrenHow values come into play in our parentingThis hour is a passionate and joyful share from three parents who are committed to a way of parenting that is often misunderstood, deemed impractical, and requires rigorous self-inquiry.Find Vivek on his website http://www.meaningfulideas.com and all socials:http://www.facebook.com/meaningfulideashttps://www.youtube.com/meaningfulideashttp://www.instagram.com/meaningfulideashttps://www.Twitter.com/meaningfulideashttps://www.tiktok.com/@meaningfulideas--It's important and essential to put our voices (Rythea and Cara) in a context. We are two white, cis-gender, straight, middle-class women living with financial and societal privilege. Because of this, our perspectives are limited and do not reflect the realities of all our listeners. This podcast will feature guests with expertise around conscious parenting who differ in gender, race, class, abilities, sexual orientation, and histories from us, to broaden the conversation and reflect the lives of as many people as possible. 25% of the proceeds of this podcast will go to creators of color who have been mentors and influences on our work and in our growth as parents. You can donate to this podcast by going to https://linktr.ee/yourkidsdontsuck

    The Promises of Non-Coercive, Conscious Parenting - Why Do It?

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 28, 2023 69:53


    In this episode, we will explore the 10 promises of non-coercive, conscious parenting; what we can assure you will happen if you step on this path. This includes the discussion of:Kids and big emotionsHow to guide our children without controlling themThe benefits of mutual respect and collaborationDiscussion of the underlying fears of trusting our children's choicesWhat "problem" behaviours can be pointing towards to with regards to attachment and bondingCara and Rythea explore the depths of what's going well inside of their own homes alongside what is really hard in the ongoing practice of non-authoritarianism.--It's important and essential to put our voices (Rythea and Cara) in a context. We are two white, cis-gender, straight, middle-class women living with financial and societal privilege. Because of this, our perspectives are limited and do not reflect the realities of all our listeners. This podcast will feature guests with expertise around conscious parenting who differ in gender, race, class, abilities, sexual orientation, and histories from us, to broaden the conversation and reflect the lives of as many people as possible. 25% of the proceeds of this podcast will go to creators of color who have been mentors and influences on our work and in our growth as parents. You can donate to this podcast by going to https://linktr.ee/yourkidsdontsuck

    What is Non-Coercive, Conscious Parenting, and Who Are We?

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 28, 2023 63:28


    What happens when two Mothers (who have never met until now) step off the traditional parenting path and become non-coercive, conscious parents? What does it look like as they aim to treat their children as equals, collaborators, and dare we say, friends? On this podcast, Rythea Lee and Cara Tedstone dive deep into the counter-culture journey of non-authoritarian parenting and invite you to explore your own attachment to the expected power-over paradigm.In their inaugural episode, these passionate and heart-centered hosts introduce themselves professionally and personally while getting into the deep emotional material of what makes parenting so challenging. Tune in to learn about some the origins of this unconventional approach, gain a deeper understanding of it's essence, and explore how it's put into action with their families. Please check out our other episodes as well, where you will find discussions on focused topics and the addition of special guests who bring fresh input to the parenting discussion!--If you want to be on our newsletter and get an announcement each time a new episode is released, please send us your email information to Rythea@crocker.comGet in touch with Rythea and Cara, buy our books and watch our content at https://linktr.ee/yourkidsdontsuckFind all our episodes at https://rss.com/podcasts/yourkidsdontsuckIt's important and essential to put our voices (Rythea and Cara) in a context. We are two white, cis-gender, straight, middle-class women living with financial and societal privilege. Because of this, our perspectives are limited and do not reflect the realities of all our listeners. This podcast will feature guests with expertise around conscious parenting who differ in gender, race, class, abilities, sexual orientation, and histories from us, to broaden the conversation and reflect the lives of as many people as possible. 25% of the proceeds of this podcast will go to creators of color who have been mentors and influences on our work and in our growth as parents. You can donate to this podcast by going to https://linktr.ee/yourkidsdontsuck

    Claim Your Kids Don’t Suck: Cultivating Closeness with your Kids through Non-Coercive, Conscious Parenting

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