Best Life Best Death

This is a topic, a duo, and a two-part podcast that you do not want to miss! I love it when BLBD is both personal and professional, and these two episodes land in that deep space. It all started because I read Courtney Martin's article “Lack of Eldercare Is Unconscionable” – how's that for a title? – and when I reached out to Courtney, she suggested we include her father's gerontologist in the conversation. Together we explore the big topic of aging. As Carla says, “Think about this in the context of the billion dollar industry of anti-aging, where suddenly - unless you live to 100 healthfully - you fail. We are doing a disservice to all of us.” https://getaging.comhttps://courtneyemartin.com

Dr. Holly Everett's work helps us better understand roadside memorials and other public expressions of remembrance. Her 1998 master's thesis, “Crossroads: Roadside Accident Memorials in and around Austin, Texas,” examines 35 memorials, exploring how they're constructed and the cultural meanings they convey. What is the intent of a roadside memorial? Is it meant to be temporary or permanent? Are these markers legal? Who builds them, and what does that process look like? How do roadside memorials compare to spontaneous large-scale public commemorations of grief? Dr. Everett offers insight into these everyday and deeply meaningful spaces of mourning. After learning more about them, you'll never look at them the same.

Laura Cleminson believes that we could all use more preparation before the people we are close to are dying. How can we get that? Through conversation! Based north of Boston, Laura founded the Pre-Dead Social Club as a way to get her community talking. She creates structured — and fun — social events that bring strangers together to discuss an end-of-life topic, share information, and even touch on some major feelings. Organized but loose, structured but casual, the Pre-Dead Social Club is the happening-est club in town. And the only prerequisite for membership is to be alive, aka pre-dead. Let's get this going wherever we live!https://www.predeadsocialclub.com/https://www.facebook.com/predeadsocialclubhttps://www.instagram.com/predeadsocialclub/

In this BLBD episode, author Kristina Amelong joins me to share the deeply personal journey behind her memoir What My Brother Knew. Through honest conversations and reflection, Kristina explores the life and death of her brother, who died at the age of 13 in a bicycle accident – which he knew would happen. How did he know? How did the family deal with this? How did exploring this family trauma over many years become a path of healing for his sister? What does it mean to carry a sibling's story forward with care and courage? This episode offers a poignant look at grief, memory, and the power of telling our truths.https://www.kristinaamelong.com/facebook.com/kristina.amelonginstagram.com/optimalhealthnetwork

What does “code status” really mean — and how does it affect the care we receive at the end of life? In this episode, Dr. Matthew Tyler returns to clarify common misunderstandings about CPR, DNR, and medical interventions during serious illness and the frailty of old age. We explore when full code makes sense, when it probably doesn't, and how patients and families can make informed, values-based decisions. We also discuss Dr. Tyler's new caregiver coaching services, through which he offers personalized support when palliative care isn't available locally. I think everyone should explore these issues and have someone like Dr Tyler on their team to talk things through!⁠https://howtotrainyourdoctor.com/⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/people/How-to-Train-Your-Doctor/100095193314200/?sk=reels_tab⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/howtotrainyourdoctor/⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@howtotrainyourdoctor⁠

Dr. Matthew Tyler returns to explore the layers of palliative care — what it is, what it isn't, and how it differs from hospice. We discuss everything from managing physical and existential pain to the role of family dynamics and coping skills in end-of-life care. Is pain at the end of life inevitable, and how can it be managed? What role can patients and families play in guiding medical decisions at the end of life? How can families and caregivers better cope with the complexities of serious illness? Whether you're supporting a loved one or navigating illness yourself, this conversation offers practical insight and hope. Dr. Tyler also introduces his new caregiver coaching services, designed to help families find clarity and confidence in uncertain times, especially when local palliative care is not available.https://howtotrainyourdoctor.com/https://www.facebook.com/people/How-to-Train-Your-Doctor/100095193314200/?sk=reels_tabhttps://www.instagram.com/howtotrainyourdoctor/https://www.youtube.com/@howtotrainyourdoctor

On this BLBD episode I talk with Penny Hawkins Smith, nationally certified hospice and palliative care nurse and social media rockstar! Penny's 2025 book,  Influencing Death: Reframing Dying for Better Living, forms the basis of our conversation, but of course we hit on a range of topics, including Penny's path into hospice care, how her TikTok videos on death and dying have alleviated death anxiety for many, and the concept of deathbed visions. We ask: How can humor and education mitigate death anxiety? What are common misconceptions about hospice care? And how can we prepare for and discuss death more openly to ensure a 'good death' experience?https://www.hospicenursepenny.com/https://www.instagram.com/hospicenursepennyhttp://www.tiktok.com/@hospicenursepennyhttps://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090618306403&mibextid=LQQJ4d

A good death should be a right not a privilege — Do you agree? Listen to this week's podcast to learn about how our incarcerated population dies behind bars. The Humane Prison Hospice Project provides training to incarcerated individuals, empowering them to support their peers by building on the knowledge many already possess and fostering a sense of purpose for both those offering care and those receiving it. I found that learning about this program and the people that it serves opened a whole different door for me on considering death and dying. I think you'll find this to be an episode that stays with you, long after the closing music fades.https://humaneprisonhospiceproject.org/https://www.facebook.com/humaneprisonhospiceprojectcahttps://www.instagram.com/humaneprisonhospiceproject

In this episode, I sit down with two fabulous and funny podcast hosts, Anita Coyle and Mel Shore, founders of the Widow We Do Now? podcast. They share their experiences of widowhood, both the parts that are isolating and pieces that have lifted them up. How might you help a friend who is newly widowed after a long period as a caregiver? Or a coworker who loses a partner suddenly? What about if someone wasn't legally married, but intended to spend their life with someone, who then dies? What the heck is the word for that? We all need education in this area, to better understand ourselves and to be better prepared to offer support to others. https://widowwedonow.com/https://www.facebook.com/widowwedonow/http://instagram.com/widowwedonow

Kacie Gikonyo is a registered nurse, death doula, and educator with over 12 years of experience in end-of-life care. She is the founder of Death Doula School, offering training for death doulas, and leads The Death Doula Collective, a national network for practitioners in the field. Kacie's mission is to demystify death and provide compassionate support to individuals and their families. In this episode, Kacie and I discuss how doulas, hospice teams, and the medical system can collaborate effectively, what doulas need to know, and how families can benefit from their expertise. We also delve into the “hot topic” of certification for doulas. What do you envision the future of death care could look like?https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100086696492390https://deathdoulakacie.com

From his humble days as a “lawn guy” at a local funeral home, to his current role as a funeral director and leader on the board of the Green Burial Council, Samuel Perry stands out! I am excited to bring you this conversation about green burial, because it includes not just the facts, but also a thoughtful discussion of what green burial represents and could mean to any one of us. When we say “traditional burial,” maybe green burial is the real deal?@greenburialcouncil

This week I'll give you an overview of the many ways a body can be laid to rest — from traditional cremation to options like green burial, water cremation, and terramation. We'll explore what can be done with ashes and how personal values shape these end-of-life decisions. Whether you're new to these concepts or looking for what's current, this episode offers a practical guide to body disposition in the U.S. If you'd like more detail on what's discussed here, there are several BLBD episodes with guests who go into more detail. Check out all my podcasts listed by category at bestlifebestdeath.com.

Jennifer A. O'Brien, MSOD, joins me to discuss a topic that we all need more understanding around: caregiving. In her book Care Boss: Leadership Strategies and Resources for Family Caregivers she draws from over 35 years in healthcare leadership and personal caregiving experiences to share practical tools, organizational strategies, and compassionate insights for supporting loved ones through serious illness. How can we take stock of what is needed? Where do we turn for help? How can we step into the role of a Care Boss with confidence and clarity? Grounded in her time as an interim CEO of clinical practices and her own deep caregiving journey, this conversation and this book are filled with pragmatic guidance. Yet, she also touches on the immeasurable aspects of caregiving. Is there any way to measure what we give and what we get as a caregiver?

Whether large or small, urban or suburban, many of us have a favorite cemetery. Perhaps the crown jewel of cemeteries in the US is the National Historical Landmark of Green-Wood Cemetery in Brooklyn, New York. Founded in 1838, by the 1860s it had earned an international reputation for its magnificent beauty. This week I talk with Gabrielle Gatto, Manager of Public Programs at Green-Wood Cemetery, who shares the history and current educational programs happening at this gorgeous “necropolis within a metropolis.”https://www.green-wood.com/https://instagram.com/historicgreenwoodhttps://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Green-Wood-Cemetery/168452476528119

Former hospice and oncology nurse turned Doulagiver Trainer, Suzanne B. O'Brien has dedicated her life to teaching people how to care for those at the end of it. In our first podcast conversation (BLBD #105), we explored the reality that most of us will, at some point, be called to support a loved one at the end of life. And guess what – that is still true. But couldn't we be more prepared? In this episode, Suzanne shares insights from her new book, offering practical guidance on what contributes to a “good death,” including becoming less fearful of the unknown, how emotional considerations come into play, and preparation that goes beyond paperwork. What do caregivers need to know? How can they be supported in this truly life-changing role? This conversation and this book are a guide to help you become more ready.www.facebook.com/Doulagiverswww.instagram.com/suzannebobrienrnhttps://www.tiktok.com/@hospicenursesuzannehttps://www.youtube.com/channel/UCDCESlQBurhI9FPiPqsb-Lw

This week, doula, educator and book-lover Jade Adgate joins me to explore children's books that delve into the tender topics of death, grief and loss. Why is it important to read about these subjects? How early can you start? And how can books guide us inward to our emotions and help us make sense of the world? Jade beautifully articulates the possibilities and meaning within life's challenges. Whether or not you have children in your life, this episode might inspire you to seek out the seven sweet and moving titles we discuss!The Dead Bird - Margaret Wise Brown (Author) andChristian Robinson (Illustrator) The End of Something Wonderful: A Practical Guide to a Backyard Funeral - Stephanie Lucianovic (Author) andGeorge Ermos (Illustrator) Cry Heart But Never Break - Glenn Ringtved (Author) and Charlotte Pardi (Illustrator) A Last Goodbye -Elin Kelsey (Author) andSoyeon Kim (Illustrator) The Rabbit Listened - byCori DoerrfeldThe Heart and the Bottle - byOliver JeffersThe Truth Pixie - by Matt Haighttps://www.farewellfellowship.com/https://www.instagram.com/the.farewell.library/

Sometimes, the truth is that the dead are not always our “beloved.” Relationships can be incredibly complex, and when a person in a complicated relationship dies, the grief that follows is…complicated. The often-heard phrase “Grief = Love” may resonate with some, but it is far from  universal. This week on the Best Life Best Death podcast, Tawnya Musser and I explore grief in the context of challenging relationships. How do we navigate loss when our feelings about the deceased are conflicted, unresolved, or even all-around negative? What does it mean to grieve someone we didn't love – or who didn't love us back? Whether you're navigating your own feelings of complicated loss or are supporting someone else, this conversation will broaden your understanding of grief beyond a traditional narrative. deardepartures.com https://www.facebook.com/deardepartures https://www.instagram.com/deardepartures/

In this information-filled episode, Tawnya Musser and I explore the power and possibilities of home funerals. What exactly is a “home funeral”? How does it differ from one managed by a funeral home or institution? What might a home funeral look like, and how can family and friends take part in meaningful ways? Most importantly, how does it expand your options when you better understand this legal choice? In this conversation, we dive into what's possible, what's typical, and what's realistic when it comes to home funerals. Learn how a personal approach of caring for and spending time with your dead can create space for community and connection. As Tawnya explains, “People often tell me, ‘I wish I had known this was an option.' Not everyone will choose a home funeral, but everyone should know they have the choice.”  deardepartures.com https://www.facebook.com/deardepartures https://www.instagram.com/deardepartures/

In this episode, I chat with Jennifer O'Brien, author of The Hospice Doctor's Widow: An Art Journal of Caregiving and Grief and also Care Boss. (More on that one in another episode!) This book is a deeply moving art journal that captures Jennifer's experience as a caregiver during her husband Bob Lemberg's ordeal with metastatic cancer. With digital collages, heartfelt reflections, and Bob's insights as a hospice doctor himself, Jennifer shares her experience so that others can see a way in and through. We talk about the shifting nature of hope in end-of-life situations, the comfort that comes from shared experiences, and practical advice for caregivers. Beyond the book, Jennifer discusses the importance of community—through widow support groups and other connections—and how art helped her navigate the hardest moments of life and loss. http://jenniferaobrien.com https://www.instagram.com/hospicedoctorswidow/ https://www.facebook.com/hospicedrswidow https://www.linkedin.com/in/jennifer-o-brien-msod-a3b9491/ https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtgYD1bAJ3igJKNtVb25c-Q

In this episode, I'm joined by Ken Ross, son of the legendary Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, whose groundbreaking work revolutionized the field of end-of-life care. Ken shares insights into his mother's contributions, including the true meaning and intentions behind the “5 stages” model which is so commonly associated with her name. We also explore his ongoing work with the Elisabeth Kübler-Ross Foundation to expand access to palliative and hospice care worldwide. Ken reflects on the complexities of grief, the evolution of global hospice care, and his journey as a photographer, shaped by his extensive travels. This episode offers a heartfelt tribute to Elisabeth Kübler-Ross's legacy and Ken's passionate mission to continue spreading her teachings. https://www.instagram.com/elisabethkublerrossfoundation/ https://www.facebook.com/ekublerross/ https://www.youtube.com/@ElisabethKublerRossFoundation

This episode delves into a subject that many find deeply uncomfortable: pregnancy loss. Whether through miscarriage, abortion, stillbirth, accident, or medical necessity, countless women, their partners, and families carry this profound pain. How can we, as a culture, become more literate and compassionate about pregnancy loss? How do we honor this vulnerability instead of silencing it? Pregnancy loss often feels taboo, perhaps because conversations about death are challenging for so many — and when it involves the death of a baby, the difficulty multiplies. My eloquent guest, Amy Wright Glenn, captures this sentiment beautifully, saying, “I strive to lift this from the cultural shadow and help us all become more fluent in its language.” https://birthbreathanddeath.com/ instagram.com/birthbreathanddeath Facebook.com/AmyWrightGlenn

As Sarah Kerr puts it, “Grief is a feeling; grieving is an action.” This week, I speak with Janelle Ketcher, an artist and archivist who envisioned a unique way to take action in grief and honor those we've lost. What is the Postal Service for the Dead? How does it function, and why is it significant? Could this “simple action” offer a powerful way to process our grief? And what is this magical community of letters all about? Janelle shares, “Ultimately, whether you write a letter or not, I hope this podcast inspires curiosity and sparks conversations!” https://www.janelleketcher.com/postal-service-for-the-dead https://www.instagram.com/postalserviceforthedead

[Note to listeners: Sorry for the not-so-great sound on this one. I had issues.] Erin Whalen has spent years as an actor and acting coach, and she's now discovered her true calling: Compassionate Coaching. Through improvisational theater with groups of all sizes, she creates space for grief to flow and growth to flourish. But what does that really mean? How did Erin find her way into this unique work? And what is her personal story, including the life and loss of her sister? Erin's energy and approach are hard to put into words — have a listen and experience her infectious style for yourself! https://www.compassionatecoaching.org/

In this episode, Dr Kaishauna Guidry and I take a look at some myths about hospice, and you'll hear Dr G's heart-filled point of view as she busts some of these common misconceptions, including: Hospice is only for the very end of life. All hospices are the same. Hospice is a place you go. It's expensive and only for the privileged. Calling hospice means giving up hope. Ever heard any of these or believed them yourself? Join us to hear another point of view from a seasoned physician. IG @MourningDoveMedical FB @profile.php?id=100071152321982&mibextid=LQQJ4d

Dr. James Tulsky is passionate about enhancing communication between clinicians and patients. Why are words so vital in the medical field? What do patients and families need most during critical conversations? And what are the key moments where navigating communication effectively can make all the difference? (Spoiler: delivering difficult diagnoses, discussing changes in care or prognosis, and navigating end-of-life conversations.) Dr. Tulsky, alongside Dr. Anthony Back and Dr. Robert Arnold, founded the nonprofit VitalTalk to provide clinicians with practical tools and training to navigate challenging conversations with empathy and clarity. Reflecting on what inspired him to focus on this area – and to go on to train tens of thousands of others in the medical field – Dr. Tulsky shares, “It hit me like a lightning bolt—the power of words.”

Some people possess the rare gift of weaving together knowledge from multiple fields, using it to chart new and inspiring directions. Amy Wright Glenn is one of those remarkable individuals. In this conversation, Amy and I talk about birth, breath and death, and about “holding space” for difficult experiences. What does she mean by that phrase? What are threshold experiences in our lives? How might we strengthen this skill, whether we are family members, friends, or practitioners and clinicians working with clients? How can developing our compassionate presence help us be comfortable with the uncomfortable, so that we can say, “I will be brave enough to sit with you in this.” https://birthbreathanddeath.com/about-amy/ https://www.facebook.com/AmyWrightGlenn https://www.instagram.com/birthbreathanddeath/

When someone is living with dementia, challenges abound. Join me for a conversation with Ashley Bright and Heather MacLeod, experienced instructors of a course designed to provide a deeper understanding of dementia. They'll share a practical framework for navigating the journey, along with actionable tips to ease daily life for caregivers and families. How can we learn to “enter their world” rather than trying to bring them back to ours? What strategies help caregivers adapt and connect with individuals where they are? What communication tools and practical approaches can improve daily interactions? As Ashely notes, “We can lighten the load when we choose to learn a little more about dementia.” Whether you're a caregiver, family member, or simply want to understand more about this condition, check out the insights and resources in this episode.

Cait Maddan's free downloadable guide called “How to Hold Space for Suicide Talk” is just one key part of all the work that she does. As a doula with a focus on suicide, suicide ideation and the grievers who are left in the wake of a death, Cait does work that matters to us all. Where can we go to talk, in addition to 988 the suicide hotline? Why does it matter to make space for this topic and for chronic ideation? How can grievers be supported? By all means, let's move out of silence and stigma and have this conversation. https://www.facebook.com/caitthedeathdoula/

Terramation, Natural Organic Reduction, Human Composting –  whatever you call it, let's get down in the dirt to discuss this body disposition option! In this earth-shattering episode, I talk with Mike Reagan about how a Colorado company is taking this innovation in body disposition in a different, yet down-to-earth direction. Mike says, “We want to enable existing funeral homes and crematory operators to open up their own termination facilities and serve their local communities. These folks are passionate about embracing this green option and serving their community, and we are here to help.” Innovation and expansion?! Let's dig in! (All puns intended.) ⁠https://www.thenaturalfuneral.com/⁠ ⁠https://www.instagram.com/thenaturalfuneralcolorado/⁠ ⁠https://www.facebook.com/thenaturalfuneral

Enjoy this conversation with end-of-life doula Mike Reagan. How can we embrace opportunities to “serve” at the end of life? What does it mean to “show up” when someone is dying? Is it possible to engage with all that death presents us with? Mike shares some meaningful insights and experiences from his service of sitting with people at “the 11th hour” as a hospice volunteer. What if we could respond with our presence as those we love enter the final stage of life? https://www.thenaturalfuneral.com/ https://www.instagram.com/thenaturalfuneralcolorado/ https://www.facebook.com/thenaturalfuneral

Sarah Kerr joins BLBD again this week, as we share exciting news about a new course we've been developing at the Centre for Sacred Deathcare. Launching in 2025, the Sacred Deathcare Guide Training and Certification is designed as a modern “Mystery School for Deathwalkers.” Participants will learn to cooperate with the deep archetypal patterns that shape the process of death and trust their intuitive intelligence as they guide others. They will be equipped to explain the energetic and spiritual dimensions of death and loss as we explore healing not only for the living, but also for the dying and the dead. As one person said about Sarah's classes: “It's like a path that's been lit up on the runway. It's why I'm here, it's why I was always here. My life now blows my mind.”  https://sacreddeathcare.com/our-courses/ https://www.instagram.com/sacreddeathcare/ https://www.youtube.com/@SacredDeathcare https://www.facebook.com/Sacred.Deathcare https://www.tiktok.com/@sacreddeathcare

This week's conversation with Sarah Kerr invites you to broaden your perspective on death, shifting toward a soul-centered understanding. We talk about the role of archetypes: what are they, and why do they matter? In particular, we delve into the Archetype of the Deathwalker. As Sarah notes, “We are creatures of narrative. Everything in our world makes sense to us because we tell ourselves a story about it.” This leads us to consider the dominant cultural narrative around death, and how that story shapes our experiences. Could a new/old healing story emerge – one rooted in the journey of the soul – that would better serve the dead, the dying, and the living? instagram.com/sacreddeathcare

If you have the “gift of precious time” in the face of a poor prognosis, here is a way to leave videos that are structured, organized, and developmentally supported for your children of any age. What might they want to know after you are gone? How can your voice continue to offer support and encouragement at transition points in their life? What can you leave behind that might impact their experience of grief and grieving? Su is both informative and insightful, carving a road that we might all look into.  https://diewell.ca/

Rhea Mader and I chat about the mysteries that this time of year brings forth. We start out with some light-hearted remembrances of Halloween costumes, and then we ask each other the famous (perhaps seasonal) question: Do you believe in ghosts? Plus, why do some say there are two separate autumn seasons, and why is it said that “veil is thin” this time of year? Finally, Rhea shares an experience with the ancestors of the land, and we mull over our own impending ancestorhood. https://consciouslivingconsciousdying.com/ https://www.instagram.com/consciouslivingconsciousdying https://www.facebook.com/consciouslivingconsciousdying https://www.linkedin.com/in/rheamader/

Listening to Dr Matthew Tyler mull over the intricacies of conversations between doctors and patients always gives me hope. How do we figure out when to say yes or no to treatment? How do we create conversations that navigate these waters with honesty and grace? How do doctors break bad news, and how do patients prepare to hear whatever is going to be said? Plus – what's “the surprise question”? (Hint: it's a way of getting at your life expectancy.) This is a wide-ranging conversation with seeds that I hope will bear fruit in your future.

In this conversation with long-time hospice nurse and educator Barbara Karnes, she states: “We've lost our role models on what it's like to die, and we've lost our role models on how to take care of someone who is dying.” What does she mean? What are we missing?  What would be the benefit of learning more, for the dying as well as for those who are caregiving and grieving? Barbara shares her thinking on these matters and so much more, including additional thoughts about her personal loss of her husband one year ago. www.bkbooks.com

This podcast is personal, and I thank Barbara Karnes for her candid sharing of what the first year has been like after the death of her long-time husband, Jack. She reflects on her experience of caregiving and talks openly about what she has learned through this year of grieving. What I see is that Barbara lives her truth: “Because I work in the end of life, I've learned this: do and say what you want to do and say today. Because you never know what tomorrow's going to bring.” www.bkbooks.com

Resilient grief, complicated grief, anticipatory grief, disenfranchised grief. These are terms you may or may not be familiar with, but trust me, learning about them will help you and help you understand your friends and family in times of loss and grief. – Which, by the way, is pretty much going on all the time, hand-in-hand with joy and expansion. This human life is filled with grief. Let's learn from an expert, steeped in her own experience plus backed by research, author of Always a Sibling: The Forgotten Mourner's Guide to Grief , Annie Sklaver Orenstein.

When Annie Sklaver Orenstein's brother died, she looked for books that would help her to understand her experience as a surviving sibling. While she encountered a fair number of books about grief, she found nothing that began to touch on her experience – so she set out to write the book she needed. Part personal story, part interviews and surveys  with hundreds of siblings, and part a collection of important material on trauma, grief and families, this book rocked my world and my understanding of the importance of siblings and grief. www.instagram.com/anniesklaverorenstein

It's all well and good that I keep saying “You should really have conversations about death and dying….” Yet you might be thinking, “What the heck! This is too hard! How am I supposed to even start that conversation?! Please give me some suggestions that can help.” In this episode, I'll do just that, laying out some ways to think about how to approach this, and even offering up some specific sentence starters you can use, thanks to the treasure trove of ideas shared by The Conversation Project and other resources. (Love a slide presentation? Then watch this one on Youtube for a bonus!)

Tarron Estes is no stranger to death. Raised by a mother who sat vigil with the dying, Tarron understood from a young age the power and possibility of liminal spaces. With her mother now 94 years old and living with dementia, Tarron and her siblings grapple with mom's dementia and the complexities of the family system. How do these dynamics affect all involved? What are some resources that offer support? A vulnerable, personal story. https://www.consciousdyinginstitute.com/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/tarron-estes-5975248/ https://www.facebook.com/ConsciousDyingInstitute/ https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1uG_nnfe1c_EtV_dsJ4sUw https://www.instagram.com/consciousdyinginstitute/

Gabby Jimenez – hospice nurse, doula and social media content creator extraordinaire – explores these questions with me. What do the dying take with them? How do we understand and explore regrets? Why so much guilt? What do grievers take away from the experience of losing their loved ones? Eventually, everyone dies – how can we improve this universal experience in simple yet powerful ways, for all those involved?

Gabby changed everything up mid-life after taking care of a friend who was dying. She realized that she wanted to make a difference in people's lives by becoming a hospice nurse and doula, and learning and sharing all she could about death and dying. Having witnessed and supported more than 2,000 people as they die, Gabby brings true “bedside knowledge” to her presentations, books and this conversation. Want to hear a warm-hearted hospice nurse talk about what truly matters? This is it. www.thehospiceheart.net https://www.instagram.com/gabrielle.elise.jimenez/ https://www.facebook.com/thehospiceheart.net

When you are in that terribly complicated time of making medical decisions around advanced cancer, what framework can you turn to? Oncologists are called upon to treat and offer options; patients hope to gain time if not be cured. What are the choices and the impact of those choices for advanced solid tumor cancers? What if I told you that two doctors have gathered the data to find out whether certain treatments extend life or not. Would you listen to that conversation to find out more? I would!

This conversation is one of those that is personal and universal. What do you do when your partner dies unexpectedly? What Kim did was delve into that experience and, over time, lean in to help others as they are hit by loss and grief. As she says, “I can be an upbeat, energetic person, and I've had this big loss. The content that I'm talking about is grief, and yet I'm enthusiastic about it, so that might feel weird to people. But I want to be of service and I want this horrible pain to be of use to someone.” Kim talks about her experience and her work, touching on many aspects of grief and loss. ⁠https://www.pocketgrief.com/⁠ ⁠https://www.facebook.com/PocketGriefHelps⁠ ⁠https://www.instagram.com/pocketgrief/

After her husband of 19 years died suddenly of Leukemia at the age of 48, Kim Shute experienced first-hand that the death of a young partner “stopped people in their tracks.” Friends and family showed up as best everyone could, but it launched Kim on an unexpected path into working in the field of grief, through leading groups, presenting in her community, and creating a series of Pocket Grief books. One of those booklets, Hints for Grieflings, notes, “Grief is how you see life after loss, like putting on a new pair of glasses.” https://www.pocketgrief.com/ https://www.facebook.com/PocketGriefHelps https://www.instagram.com/pocketgrief/

Perhaps you've heard of Death Cafes or Death over Dinner… what about Death over Drafts? Grab a brew and listen to this episode in which you'll hear from founder – and craft beer lover – Stefanie Elkins. What is a Death over Drafts event like to attend? What is the Death Deck and how does it tie in to this kind of program? What's the purpose of these casual events, and who might attend? I love anything that brews up a conversation about the end of life, so you know I appreciate these nationwide events!

As Author Susan Lieberman concludes in this BLBD conversation: “Old is not terrible, it's just old.” Listen to this episode for some light thoughts and some deep wisdom about aging, death, loss, and especially – how to be where we are. Susan has several books including In the Country of Old: Nine Reflections from a New Immigrant to the Country of Old and also Death, Dying and Dessert: Reflections on Twenty Questions About Dying.

Jennifer Carroll shares tips and thoughts on how to bring an obituary to life. What are the personal touches that take it beyond a short, basic announcement? How do you capture details that illustrate the character of the person and their passions and quirks? How do we find the “extraordinary moments of ordinary lives”? Jennifer recommends that we “start early, enjoy the process, gather voices and stories, identify themes, and seek out defining moments.” Overall in this conversation we are exploring: What makes a fitting tribute to those we love?

I think it is fair to say that Mark Dowie's latest book is unlike any other he's written. Brief and intensely personal, Mark writes about his experience with Judith Tannenbaum, poet and friend-of-a-friend who suffers from a debilitating yet often invisible illness with severe pain. Mark becomes a guide, dear friend and “amateur doula” for her as they share conversations and thoughts as she lives her final months. In this episode, he and I discuss Death Cafes, the Final Exit Network, Compassion and Choices, and of course the book, Judith Letting Go: Six Months in the World's Smallest Death Cafe.

I'm pulling from the “old files” for this one! I spoke with Kim Mooney on BLBD podcast #71 and #72 and with Kayla Nagano on #74, and with this episode you can hear more from each of them! Kim = renowned thanatologist plus huge advocate for compassionate end-of-life options in Colorado and beyond. Kayla = podcaster and expert in all things animals and end of life. Enjoy this episode of "bonus tracks" from my past recordings with these two experts.