Living Connected - NVC

I had a lovely time having Bryn as my co-host on this episode. Our topic we discussed was about Stimulus VS Cause. According to Marshalls book Nonviolent Communication. “What others do or say may be the stimulus of our feelings, not the cause.” There is a root to our feelings and that root is the cause. One way I like to think of this as, unprocessed trauma (cause) we might have experienced which has lead to these deep rooted feelings. In Marshall's book he talks about how there are 4 ways we can receive a hard to hear message:Take it personally by hearing blame then blaming ourselvesBlame othersSense of own feelings & needsSense of others' feelings & needsMindful meditation helps us find that pause between stimulus and response. Viktor Frankl was born 1905, he is an Austrian psychiatrist and Holocaust survivor. His famous quote is, “Between stimulus and response lies a space. In that space lie our freedom and power to choose a response. In our response lies our growth and our happiness.”Finding the pause, giving compassion (if needed) & getting curious when we are escalated will help us in regulating and finding the root of the stimulus.CONTACT INFORMATION:Email: Livingconnected.nvc@gmail.comInstagram: livingconnectednvcTikTok: Living Connected NVCLiving Connected Facebook PageWebsite: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1153175Music is brought to you by: https://www.purple-planet.com/Become a Supporter of the show BELOWContributions go towards my cost of hosting all the episodes on BuzzSprout.Thank you bunches =)Support the show

I know I haven't dropped an episode for months. I have been living life to the best of my ability, reading, working and soaking in the time we have on this physical world. I am continuing to record episodes. Thank you for your grace and understanding. Take care of your heart. I got the honor of speaking with Morris again. The last time we had him on my podcast was episode 28 back in 2021. Morris has flourished and continued to spread his love, passion and strength into his communities. He has a memoir that has been released called “Reflections of a Troubled Black Man.” In the last two years of speaking with Morris his journey is sky rocketing. He even was able to create a friendship with Dr. Virgil A. Wood and carry on his legacy for this beautiful work of love and peace in all communities.  The core of Morris's philosophy is deeply rooted in Social Emotional Learning, Contemplative Education, and Restorative Practices.Morris H Ervin, Jr. is an educator, entertainer, motivational speaker, and Youth Development Professional committed to helping the youth, families, communities, and institutions “turn fear into strength, and pain into passion.”  Resources:1)  Book  “Reflections of a Troubled Black Man.” By: Morris H Ervin, Jr.2) Book By: Virgil A. Wood3) NVC Journal with NVC Chart By: Kady4) NVC Reflection Journal By: Kady5) Video: Dr. Masaru EmotoCONTACT INFORMATION:Email: Livingconnected.nvc@gmail.comInstagram: livingconnectednvcTikTok: Living Connected NVCLiving Connected FacebookSupport the Show.

It has been a whirl wind of time that has flown by. I was in a long term subbing gig most of January teaching 3rd grade and there was no time to edit. I did try really hard. I hope y'all have had a wonderful holiday and Happy New Years! Thank you for your support and continuing to listen to Living Connected. =)We have a special guest on Living Connected, his name is Orly. Orly has created a Listening Table in the LA area that people can come and sit to talk, vent, and be 100% authentically themselves without repercussions of judgment, advice, criticisms or blame. The Listening Table is free for anyone needing to feel heard, understood, & seen. Eric met Orly at the IIT (NVC - International Intensive Training). Later on, I messaged Orly on Instagram having my fingers crossed that he would respond and he did!! Listening is a huge part of NVC (Nonviolent Communication), meeting people where there, knowing how to give self-empathy and empathy to others, & being present with them in that moment without stories or judgments of what the other is sharing. Listening is being able to create a safe space for people to feel safe enough and trust that what they share will be held in care. Orly is doing this in his community for others and we get to talk to him how this has helped him in his journey. I absolutely love this and I hope people continue to create Listening Tables all around the world. And with that I will leave you there. As Orly says, “Thank you for listening and have a great listening day!” Resources:Organization : Freedom to ChoseIG: @Oryl'slisteningtableYoutube: Orly's Listening TableBecome a Supporter of the show CLICK HEREContributions go towards my cost of hosting all the episodes on BuzzSprout.CONTACT INFORMATION:Email: Livingconnected.nvc@gmail.comInstagram: livingconnectednvcTikTok: Living Connected NVCLiving Connected Facebook PageWebsite: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1153175Music is brought to you by: https://www.purple-planet.com/Support the show

Probably since 2021, I had this dream to have Roxy on my podcast. And what a dream come true. I feel so grateful & honored for this opportunity to have Roxy Manning on as a guest. We talk about antiracism that also goes along with her new book with Sarah Peyton called “The Antiracist Heart”. Often times stereotypical stories like “Asian kids are good at math” will lead to children having this expectation that they are suppose to be and when they are not there is internal shame that is created. Then the support that children need are bypassed because of this stereotype. The child doesn't even know how to ask for help. I have heard in my lifetime that “Asians are super smart and really bad drivers” and me as a kid didn't stand up and speak up to this. Question it and ask “how do you know this and why are we stereotyping this group of people.” The more knowledge I have of this, the more I can get curious, address it & talk about it using Nonviolent Communication. These beliefs come from white supremacy culture. We put humans in a box with these stories and this impacts and affects us deeply as a collective unconsciously, subconsciously and consciously. The systems we live in today, are so corrupt & Roxy said “we want to change these suppressive systems in ways that bring us together. How do we name harm when it is happening?”I hope this episode inspires Living Connected listeners to bring about change in being more open & willing to talk about these things in our beloved communities with each other. And with that, I will leave you there. Enjoy. Resources:Books:1) The Antiracist Heart by Roxy Manning PhD & Sarah Peyton2) How to Have Antiracist Conversations By Roxy Manning PhD3) My Grandmother's Hands By: Resmaa Menakem Journal : NVC Journal that I created you can get on Amazon now in two sizes1) 5.75in X 8.25in2) 8in X 10inBecome a Supporter of the show CLICK HEREContributions go towards my cost of hosting all the episodes on BuzzSprout.CONTACT INFORMATION:Email: Livingconnected.nvc@gmail.comInstagram: livingconnectednvcTikTok: Living Connected NVCLiving Connected Facebook PageWebsite: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1153175Music is brought to you by: https://www.purple-planet.com/Support the show

I loved that I was able to have Sarah Peyton on the living connected podcast again. In this past year she has been writing a book with Roxy Manning. The book is called “The Antiracist Heart” and the book empowers us on how to have conversations, compassion, and a beloved community when it comes to racism. What are our blindspots? What are we not seeing when it comes to our own implicit and explicit experiences? How can we get more curious, be more open, and grow from our experiences moving forward? This episode only touches the surface on this topic. It is up to us to continue to learn and grow if we want to see change in this world. Please stay tuned Living Connected listeners as we will have Roxy on the next episode. And with that I will leave you there, let's dive in. NVC JournalWebsite: https://sarahpeyton.com/Books:“Healing resistance: A Radically Different Response to Harm” By kazoo Haga“Trauma of Caste” By Thenmozhi Soundararajan"Your Resonant Self Mediations" By Sarah Peyton"Antiracist Heart" By Sarah Peyton & Roxy ManningPodcast: 1619 - The New York TimesBecome a Supporter of the show CLICK HEREContributions go towards my cost of hosting all the episodes on BuzzSprout.CONTACT INFORMATION:Email: Livingconnected.nvc@gmail.comInstagram: livingconnectednvcTikTok: Living Connected NVCLiving Connected Facebook PageWebsite: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1153175Music is brought to you by: https://www.purple-planet.com/Support the showSupport the show

We had thee utmost pleasure of having John Kinyon as our special guest for this episode today. I was left feeling lifted, joyous and filled with gratitude. A lot came pouring out and I had needs met for some healing and held in a deep understood way. I appreciate all of you who have been on my journey with me. And just by listening you might have healed parts of you too. I want to honor that in you as well. Raw aliveness seems to flow from my heart sometimes and I thank you all for holding space for me.For me, all parts of this journey is integrating and embodying NVC practice into my daily life. The raw vulnerable expression, attunement & awareness, the teachings, the education, the tools, the movement in the body is all encompassing the path of inner-work. In this episode we will discuss with John his steps he goes through with couples who are in conflict. There will also be the education & tools of NVC that will support the  process of mending or repairing the connection between two or more humans.John has devoted his life and career to human beings developing the ability to shift conflict to connection. John's mentor was Marshall Rosenberg himself. The one who founded Nonviolent Communication. For over 20 years John has mediated conflicts, and developed trainings throughout the US and in different countries as well. He is a certified trainer in NVC and offers online courses and programs that focus on healing social-political & personal divides & building empathic communities.    And with that I will leave you there, I truly hope you enjoy this episode just as much as I did. Resources:Across the isle - https://johnkinyon.com/conversations-across-the-aisle/Website: https://johnkinyon.com/home/App: Mediate your LifeSOCIAL MEDIAInstagram : @john.kinyonFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/JohnBKinyon/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MediateYourLifeTrainingLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/johnkinyon/Become a Supporter of the show CLICK HEREContributions go towards my cost of hosting all the episodes on BuzzSprout.CONTACT INFORMATION:Email: Livingconnected.nvc@gmail.comInstagram: livingconnectednvcTikTok: Living Connected NVCLiving Connected Facebook PageWebsite: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1153175Music is brought to you by: https://www.purple-planet.com/Support the showSupport the show

What a summer it has been. This episode was from June and it took me awhile to edit. I have been enjoying my warm weather before the cold sets in. We have made it to season 4! This podcast has been going since 2020. We have many episodes to come. Thank you all for continuing to listen and being apart of this NVC journey.We have a special guest with us today, who is dear to my heart. Her name is Jenine. She has been a big part in my teaching career. The first time she came in to the Elementary school I was working at, I clicked with her. She got me and understood my struggle with taking tests. I had a hard time passing my test to get my teaching license and Jenine gave me every resource she had so I could pass. There were many times when we could vent about our experiences in the teaching world that gave me comfort. We had this trust for each other. Eric and I got the honor of talking with Jenine about her sobriety and recovery journey. I feel so much gratitude to be able to explore this topic and I appreciate you Jenine for being open, honest and vulnerable with everyone. I always felt safe to text you for any reason. It's a gift to know you and continue to know you. I am so so proud of you for how far you have come, to where you are in this moment, taking one day at a time.What I learned from this episode is being apart of a community that understands you, sees you, celebrates you and holds space with no judgment matters a lot. With that I will leave you there, I hope you enjoy this episode.   Become a Supporter of the show CLICK HEREContributions go towards my cost of hosting all the episodes on BuzzSprout.CONTACT INFORMATION:Email: Livingconnected.nvc@gmail.comInstagram: livingconnectednvcTikTok: Living Connected NVCLiving Connected Facebook PageWebsite: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1153175Music is brought to you by: https://www.purple-planet.com/Support the show

 Eric and I discuss what it's like to step in and or stand up for Self and or others. Keeping Nonviolent communication in mind, I think it is hard in some situations when you are caught off guard to have NVC as an automatic response. In my experience in this episode, fight or flight kicked in and I just said, “thanks,” kindly and moved on to my table or went to dance. I definitely looked at this guys wife who is a friend of mine with a face of, “I can't believe he just said that!” At that moment I think I was searching for some support in how inappropriate that was. Now, reflecting back on this episode and I see her again, I may ask her how she felt about that…And perhaps express how uncomfortable it was for me to hear it. And I will approach this conversation with curiosity and no judgment.  These moments where I don't stand up for myself can be learning experience to help me have a voice next time. Also, this allows me to find some self-compassion as well. I might say, “I did the best I could with my nervous system activated. It's not like I am in these situations all the time to practice over and over so my neuro pathways aren't built up yet, so my response isn't how I would like it to be. AND that is okay!” Give myself grace and love. What I also noticed is that there is a certain level of attunement that we have as a collective community to pick up facial expression, body language and the choice of words from the person to truly understand how to stand in for someone. That is if we aren't confused or frozen ourselves to be able to help the other. When we don't help the other person that can be an opportunity to give ourselves some compassion. These are the ways we can integrate NVC when we do stand up or stand in for Self and others, which is self-empathy, finding feelings that arise in the situation and what our needs are especially in the reflection part. I will leave you with that, and hope you have some take aways from this episode. Let's dive in.    Resources: leanin.org 50 Ways to Fight BiasBecome a Supporter of the show CLICK HEREContributions go towards my cost of hosting all the episodes on BuzzSprout.CONTACT INFORMATION:Email: Livingconnected.nvc@gmail.comInstagram: livingconnectednvcTikTok: Living Connected NVCLiving Connected Facebook PageWebsite: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1153175Music is brought to you by: https://www.purple-planet.com/Support the showSupport the show

I am so thrilled to have Bryn on my podcast again. The last time she was on was back in Oct. of 2020 episode 17. Bryn has been practicing NVC over 22 years and has been my mentor, empathy buddy and teacher since I started NVC in 2018. I am honored & it's a gift to have Bryn in my life for 5 years, knowing you Bryn has changed me in a beautiful way. Your accompaniment during hard times and happy continues to mean so much to my heart.  Today we are talking about the flow of feelings and how our feelings can change depending on the stories we have going on in our mind. The stories we tell ourselves  can affect how our feelings flow between one another. Our perception or judgements of self or others can impact our current human experiences and disrupt the flow of the true feelings, needs and connection. Bryn shares a great story by Marshall that explains this concept so well. We can shift our feelings when our judgments shift about ourselves or others. Our reality of how we feel is one way through the lens of stories or judgments and then when our stories change our feelings & reality shifts and our reality becomes different. My younger self has a story that “I am doing something wrong, I'm gonna get in trouble.” My perception comes from that place of defensiveness and those feelings are how I respond to my human experience or situation. If I didn't have this story in my head, my heart would be in a more curious & open place and than my feelings about the present moment would be different.     I had a listener reach out to me from Canada, his name is Erich. He had asked me if I had any idea where we can find Marshall Rosenbergs original Audio tapes or CDs of his workshops. Erich did some extensive research and has come up with a bunch of resources for everyone that I am going to provide in the description below. This really met my needs for community, sharing, contribution, support & thoughtfulness & care. I want to bring NVC related stuff to our Living connected community and this helps so much. Thank you Erich for this contribution of effort and time you put into this. We all appreciate you tremendously.Resources:Spotify:  1) Marshall's Trainings 2) More Workshops & TrainingsDiscog: Vinyl and CDPuddleDancer: 18 Songs by Marshall Rosenberg $4.95Become a Supporter of the show CLICK HEREContributions go towards the hosting site for all the episodes.CONTACT INFORMATION:Email: Livingconnected.nvc@gmail.comInstagram: livingconnectednvcTikTok: Living Connected NVCLiving Connected Facebook PageWebsite: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1153175Music is brought to ySupport the showSupport the show

I got the chance to talk to Eric Lazarus about Activism. How do we use NVC in situations that we want to stand up for. I know for me there are several different things that I would like to see change, when it comes to teacher, student & parent support. My main take away from this episode was having the skill to have curiosity questions & curiosity listening. Regardless if the person you are talking to has a different view of a situation or a law or rules or the way the government is ran, we can listen and find values or needs. Give empathy, if it is needed. When we want to propose change in our communities, churches, schools, cities, governments, we start by coming from a place in our hearts of what we want to see change. We give personal experiences and ask questions that can hit home or can be touching for someone to read or watch. How can we make this world a better place for everyone. Mahatma Gandhi “If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change” Or the common one we often hear is “be the change you wish to see in the world.” Activism I can only imagine can look in so many different ways. The root word of activist is the latin Actus “a doing, a driving force.” The suffix ist is used to refer to a person who practices or hold certain values. The word was first used when Sweden in 1915 when people advocating for the end of the World War 1.As much as it's frustrating to be part of a school system where a lot of the trauma students have is coming from their home environment only I can be the change to start something in a big or small way. My contribution to this change is to actively listen and empathize with students when they are upset, angry and or having a conflict with one another. It can truly be overwhelming to think about “how can I stop parents to not be incarcerated” “How can parents work on themselves to be better and not be in jail” This is the reality a lot of schools are dealing with, which is; students with trauma which leads to trauma that comes from their environment and their parents. Both student and parent don't have the support that they need to accompany them in healing unresolved trauma. My impossible thinking is that the root of all this is beyond teachers ability to help. Instead of being overwhelmed by that over arching question, I want to rephrase that and ask “In what ways can I make a difference to these students today?”I hope living connected listeners that you have one take away from this episode. Or many you end up constructing a take away of your own that was inspired by our conversation. I know it stimulated a lot inside of me and I am curious what came up for you. I would love to share your thoughts on the podcast.  Resources:Be the Change QuoteDavid Richo - When the Past is PresentYouTube Recording: American ExperienceAmy WesterVeltEmail Eric at the bottom of this website:  https://electionsec.org/Become a Supporter of the show CLICK HEREContributions go towards the hosting site for all the episodes.CONTACT INFORMATION:Email: Livingconnected.nvc@gmail.comInstagram: livingconnectednvcLiving Connected Facebook PageWebsite: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1153175Music is brought to you by: https://www.purple-planet.com/

Eric and I got the honor of talking with Anne and Benson who have been in the process of inventing AI's (Artificial Intelligence or robots) that are capable of teaching Nonviolent Communication. As well as finding a way to build a robot that has the ability to give empathic responses. My main take-away from this episode is that these robots won't be replacing other humans. These robots will support humans in their growth, and learning of NVC so that when we are connecting with humans we can communicate with more ease. The robots would allow for us humans to practice and grow our feelings and needs vocabulary. The robots will also help translate judgments into feelings and needs so we can have a better understanding of what lies beneath our criticisms, blame, judgments or diagnosis, & evaluations. This gives us an opportunity to bring what we learned into the real world. I believe with a lot of data collection the robot will give strategies and offer do-able requests of Self and or for the other person. In my thought, the more data we can collect the better responses the robot can have. In the book Just Mercy by Bryan Stevenson he uses the word broken and changed it to experiences and trauma. He says on page 289 “ Our experiences and traumas is the source of our common humanity, the basis for our shared search for comfort, meaning and healing. Our shared vulnerability and imperfection nurtures and sustains our capacity for compassion.” He goes on to say that “he never fully considered that being “broken” is what makes us human. Sometimes we're fractured by the choices we make; sometimes we're shattered by the things we would never have chosen”Being apart of this episode and reading what Bryan said, really made me think about embracing our humanness. We are all so unique and connected and I want to hold on to that. Our human experiences are real and at this point, no robot can deeply feel and be impacted by those experiences. Humans share universal needs of belonging, meaning and healing, when robots are just a collection of data, inputs and algorithms that compute into a variety of results. As Anne said, “robots replacing humans is so far away in the future.” When I hear that I worry that in order for that not to happen, humans need a way to tap into something higher in brain capacity than what robots can offer so that we humans don't become extinct.Resources from Anne & Benson:Our new story-based workshop on using ChatGPT for wellbeing and creativity:https://www.emotionalhealthessentials.com/i-humanHere is a demo of our non-violent communication support AI:https://www.emotionalhealthessentials.com/technologyBecome a Supporter of the show CLICK HERECONTACT INFORMATION:Email: Livingconnected.nvc@gmail.comInstagram: livingconnectednvcLiving Connected Facebook PageWebsite: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1153175Music is brought to you by: https://www.purple-planet.com/

Eric and I are talking about honesty or scary honesty today. To me, honesty is speaking from the heart or fully speaking your truth. Focusing on what is alive in your heart and sharing courageously.  Needs that might come up when sharing honesty could be freedom, sincerity, fairness, care, compassion, vulnerability and or truthfulness. What does fully speaking your truth mean and look like to you? What do we hope for when we speak our truth? How do we hold space, give kindness for ourselves after we have spoken from the heart? How do we stay calm, or grounded & not activated in our nervous system? Are we willing and open to hear the response from the other person - What if the response is in defensiveness, criticism or blame? I watch a video of Marshall Rosenberg talk about honesty and an example he used was “I feel scared because I want to maintain the quality of relationship that we have…” I added the feeling of fear “…and I fear what I have to say might disturb our relationship.” Sometimes sharing feelings first humanizes our human experience. Which in it of itself is a vulnerable thing to do, to share feelings. Then the other person can possibly relate to those feelings and bring some warmth into their body or into the conversation.Marshall said “we send something out beautifully & jackal ears pick up something ugly. We just develop our ability to enjoy it when it happens.” There was a time when he had to give empathy eight times because the enemy image was so strong, letting go of that enemy image was hard for that person. People often times need empathy before they can hear our honesty. Which again, is hard because we so deeply want them to be in a space of openness and resourced enough to be able to hear our heart.This topic is huge and could be discussed at length. And perhaps, Living Connected listeners you have some Ah-Ha moments, thoughts or curious questions that you would like to share as well, please let me know. I truly hope you enjoy listening to this episode.Become a Supporter of the show CLICK HERECONTACT INFORMATION:Email: Livingconnected.nvc@gmail.comInstagram: livingconnectednvcLiving Connected Facebook PageWebsite: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1153175Music is brought to you by: https://www.purple-planet.com/

Eric and I had the honor of speaking with Dr. Melanie Sears. She has been practicing NVC for 30+ years and worked along side Marshall Rosenberg. We get to explore the healthcare system that is in place in the United States. Dr. Melanie Sears specifically talks about her experience with patients in the psychiatric facility and how patients are treated. She has been a nurse for 35 years and has her PhD in Transpersonal Psychology. "Transpersonal Psychology roots back over 100 years ago. William James laid out principles of so many psychological approaches. Transpersonal psychology could be seen as an attempt to understand the different states of consciousness - and the different views of reality. Transpersonal Psychology attempted to integrate the ideas of eastern spiritual traditions such as buddhism, Hindu and yoga, they examined the “higher” states of consciousness, and “higher” stages of human development."  With all the years of  experience and wisdom she has, Dr Melanie Sears has written two books, the first on is called “Humanizing Health Care: Creating Cultures of Compassion With Nonviolent Communication”. The second book is called “Choose You Words: Harnessing the Power of Compassionate Communication to Heal and Connect”. NVC can be a game changer in how programs are run and how we connect with patients or students in different situations. What it seems to come down to is empathy. Empathizing with patients and students and then getting empathy for yourself as well. Also knowing how to give empathy to others and who you have for support to give you empathy when needed. I found myself aligning with Dr. Mel's work when it came to my job. I appreciated the connection a lot and long for more and more systems in our society to use Nonviolent Communication.  Resources:Transpersonal PsychologyBooks By Dr. Melanie Sears: Humanizing Health Care Choose Your Words: Compassionate CommunicationMore Videos with Melanie SearsBooks By: Sura Hart: Compassionate Classroom Respectful Parents & Respectful KidsCONTACT INFORMATION:Email: Livingconnected.nvc@gmail.comInstagram: livingconnectednvcLiving Connected Facebook PageWebsite: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1153175Music is brought to you by: https://www.purple-planet.com/

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!! 2023 has begun! Eric and I get to talking about the transformation of the relationship with my dad. How the needs of belonging to a family is mourned and may continued to be mourned on every special day that is typically spent with family. Each time we mourn, acknowledge and witness that pain, we are healing a little bit of ourselves. I have gone through this process of being accompanied & witness in my pain and have found peace with what is. The what is, is that my dad and I have found our own tradition for thanksgiving that we came up with together. We are making the best of it, given the situation at hand. NVC has truly been a wonderful way for me to heal and acknowledge the hurt and pain that I feel inside my heart. I hope the same for all of you living connected listeners out there too that NVC gives you this way to witness yourselves & hold yourselves with a deep compassion. I want you to know that I see you, hear you and your not alone. Thank you all so much for being apart of my journey and growth. I appreciate all of you so much. CONTACT INFORMATION:Email: Livingconnected.nvc@gmail.comInstagram: livingconnectednvcLiving Connected Facebook PageWebsite: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1153175Music is brought to you by: https://www.purple-planet.com/

It is winter break and I am able to get to editing more. My goal is to not be putting episodes out once a month. I am hoping I will have some more time during work to work on my podcast as I am not at the Behavior job anymore. If you have any questions about expectations and would like to send me an email please I would love to hear from you. Email: Livingconnected.nvc@gmail.comI am happy to be doing this episode with Denise today. We have a juicy topic for us that will probably end up being several episodes. We are going to explore or what Denise said was play around with ‘expectations'. The definition that Denise used in group was, an expectation is a belief that someone will or should achieve something. Often times with the feelings that come up with demand energy of expectations of us, ourselves or someone else could arise in shame, frustration, disappointment and or feel stress that we have failed or let someone down. Perfectionism could come into place, where we self-blame because we didn't do it correctly.  The demand energy could look like the tone of energy of something being said by someone or the words that we use toward ourselves or others - such as shoulds, or have to's. This demand energy doesn't allow for choice, autonomy, self-empowerment and or freedom etc. I did mention in this episode a couple books that used the model collaborative problem solving and the first book that describes this method is called Lost and Found. All the books are by the same person. I will put the books in the references for you incase you are interested. I definitely believe that NVC can be integrated and used along side of these methods that are used in school systems. And in my thought putting NVC with any modality only strengthens the ability to connect on deeper levels. I know the topic of expectations is loaded and I hope that we will get to examples that you listeners can relate to. This episode uses examples that I have noticed in the schools I have work in. I think that it also pertains to how we saw expectations as a child growing up as well. And maybe it brings up some of those expectations that are engrained in us from when we were small humans. I know it has brought up aliveness in me. Let's dive in. Resources:LOST AND FOUND BY: Ross GreeneLOST AT SCHOOL BY: Ross GreeneTHE EXPLOSIVE CHILD BY: Ross GreeneCONTACT INFORMATION:Email: Livingconnected.nvc@gmail.comInstagram: livingconnectednvcLiving Connected Facebook PageWebsite: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1153175Music is brought to you by: https://www.purple-planet.com/

Today Eric and I talk about my experience in this 6 month position I have as the Student behavioral coordinator. My position is a case load of 7 or 8 students that have a hard time regulating. They flip their lid which means they are not in their frontal cortex anymore and reacting from a trauma place of fight or flight response. Or another way to say is that the amygdala is firing & reacting to a situation which is sending signals to our nervous system that is processing it as fear or a threat.A lot of times when we know students well, we can see the behaviors in the body that show us that they are getting to that point of reacting in a trauma response or just flipping their lid. When we can see this shift in the body and behavior, we can have them take a break and learn the skills to find a safe and calm body before it gets to the point of escalation. I am still getting to know students and what that looks like for each student. There are times when I jump into a situation where the student is already escalated and I need to find ways to regulate and help them find a place to regulate. Sometimes it's just best not to say anything. Using very few words as possible. There are so many elements that go into a situation like the one I describe. I have my perspective and others have theirs. Who knows, if we didn't have the blow up in the morning would the blow up happen anyway at some point during the day. We just don't know. If we knew for sure it was the grief could we have attended to the situation differently. So many things to reflect on as I think back on this situation at work. I am giving my self some grace and compassion as I learn my role and my voice in this position. Along with getting to know the students and building that solid foundation of trust and safety of care and kindness. Resources:leanin.org CONTACT INFORMATION:Email: Livingconnected.nvc@gmail.comInstagram: livingconnectednvcLiving Connected Facebook PageWebsite: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1153175Music is brought to you by: https://www.purple-planet.com/

BEST SUMMER of 2022!! Thank you ALL for being patient while I soak in my summer! HUGSIn this episode Jeremey and I have a conversation about how we use NVC in our workplace and in our families. The situations that come up in the workplace for me were making sure students are listening and ready to learn, including everyone and respect the pro-nouns of others in how they want to be identified and exploring students needs in an Acro-Yoga setting. We all have many different cultures and dynamics in how our families function and operate. NVC has helped me see underneath the worry that my dad has for me or how Jeremey's dad has for his mom. When we can see the bigger picture of the needs underneath we can follow those with a deeper sense of compassion. I hope you enjoy this conversation with me and one of our Living connected listeners Jeremey. Please don't hesitate to email or record a voice memo for me to listen and attach it to the email I would love to hear from you. The email is in the description of every episode at the bottom. Let's dive into this exploration!! Resources:Book: Never Spilt the DifferenceCONTACT INFORMATION:Email: Livingconnected.nvc@gmail.comInstagram: livingconnectednvcLiving Connected Facebook PageWebsite: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1153175Music is brought to you by: https://www.purple-planet.com/

Tisse, Amy and I talk about Parts Theater and we actual go through a scenario that happened when I was visiting my dad. Parts Theater is a mind blowing experience that can be really touching and moving. I got choked up a bit because it really hit home when sinking into those feelings and needs during each part of me that was being role played. I haven't really had a chance to allow myself to feel those deep feelings and process them fully. Tisse and Amy gave me space to do that. I have thee most gratitude for both of them. I do feel healed in a way, even in this mini session of what Parts Theater looks / sounds like. I have this ease and at peace with the part of me that was sad and the other part that had compassion. Having this healed part of me, I might be able to express both parts of how I was feeling to my dad. Parts Theater is a way to express two needs that are happening inside of you and see those two needs role played by two people. Amy takes you through the steps of how she breaks down Parts Theater into 4 stages. Amy mentioned after the recording that it was so interesting how much deeper Parts Theater can go just by guessing at my feelings and needs. And that Parts Theater might go a little faster than coaching because you can make changes quickly with the directors input and see the process shift. Parts theater offers a different approach than coaching does. Both has its benefits. And it's so fascinating that we can get at what is true for us, from different angles. Amy has been offering Parts Theater workshops and has spent a lot of time and effort changing and modifying this process to include NVC. I had such a remarkable hour with both Tisse and Amy and I am filled with so much thankfulness bc I get to explore NVC with two really amazing humans.Resources:How of HappyPROMO CODE: LivingconnectedCONTACT INFORMATION:Email: Livingconnected.nvc@gmail.comInstagram: livingconnectednvcLiving Connected Facebook PageWebsite: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1153175Music is brought to you by: https://www.purple-planet.com/

I see a lot of behaviors in schools that are contributed to the trauma or environment that students are experiencing. I work sometimes one-on-one with this students who are going through a lot at home. I have seen a range of behaviors from throwing chairs, running off campus, screaming, making silly noises, kicking, pulling hair, or spitting on you, withdraw or shut down, you name it. All students whether they are on the autism spectrum or just have a lot of trauma or just having a rough day, they all have needs just like we do as an adult. It can be really hard to accompany these students when each one may need something different. I don't see students as a bad person or think that they are trying to get attention, I get curious and I truly care about what they are needing. I am there to support them in any way that I can. If we bring our judgements to the table then it makes it really hard to be present with our students. I remember that they need so much compassion, grace, kindness, love and a listening ear because some may not get that at home.  NVC has helped me so much with meeting these students where they are at and having the language to create a safe dialogue with them when they are escalated or when they have calmed down. Most often then not, I am empathically listening and giving them a reflection on what they said so they know I understand them and believe their experience. Believing ones experience doesn't mean I agree, it means I am believing their experience as their truth. Once I can do this, we can work towards problem solving together or resolving a conflict using feelings and needs and do-able requests. Adinah and I get to talk about what is going on with student behavior and how we can use a different lens to understand in a deeper way what is going on for these students. Trauma can have a huge impact on students. Trauma can impact the classroom and teachers. I have witnessed how trauma affects learning and growth in the classroom and I hope that I can make a small change in the way I communicate to hold space for these students.   Resources:Adinah Barlow WebsitePodcast – Project Relationship YouAdinah Barlow Facebook 1) Paul D Maclean - Triune brain theory 2) Book: The Gift of Fear - By: Gavin de Becker3) Book:  Fostering Resilient Learners (Strategies for creating a Trauma-Sensitive Classroom)By: Kristin Souers with Pete Hall. 4) Video: Red Table Talk - Jada Smith, Deeyah Khan, Dr. Ibram X. KendiCONTACT INFORMATION:Email: Livingconnected.nvc@gmail.comInstagram: livingconnectednvcLiving Connected Facebook PageWebsite: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1153175Music is brought to you by: https://www.purple-planet.com/

Marianne and I talk about conflicts and fights and how some conflict can be healthy because it can lead to trust and safety with that person. There is a discernment when understanding the healthy kind of conflict and understanding when conflict is unhealthy. We talk about some strategies that can be healthy for two people in a conflict, such as self-connection, meeting them where they are, follow through with the request for a break and coming back to mend or repair in the time frame that was requested. Being able to maybe in the smallest of ways connect with ourselves and create space in our heart to attend to the parts of us that are triggered and or attend to the inner wounded child is a healthy strategy when we are in conflict with someone. Which is easier said than done. There is also the other person who you are in conflict with who is also sitting with their parts of themselves that are triggered too. It can be so hard to be the one to meet them where they are because we deeply want to be heard and we just may not get that from them in that moment. It's so important to know that we have outside resources to feel heard by others incase we are not heard by the person we are in conflict with. When we are resourced we have the capacity to meet the other person where they are. Conflict is never easy to navigate, it can be very delicate at times and what sucks is that we gotta be in conflict to continue to learn how to navigate it. I am constantly with my dad learning and growing with each and every conflict we have. The repairs we do have, the apologies are just enough for the start of some trust. for me anyway. I don't know about him. I hope you enjoy!Resources:Marianne's Information: Website: https://cupofempathy.com/YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/CupofEmpathy/featuredCONTACT INFORMATION:Email: Livingconnected.nvc@gmail.comInstagram: livingconnectednvcLiving Connected Facebook PageWebsite: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1153175Music is brought to you by: https://www.purple-planet.com/

Today Eric and I talk about my freak out. I am having surgery on my carpal tunnel.  What does your body do when your freaked out? My body just goes into this panic mode where everything goes fast, I can't stop my brain from racing about all the things. Do you have support when it comes to moments of freaking out? What tools might you have? Just after this recording I called an old co-worker of mine who worked at the surgery center, he's like an uncle to me. He talked to me about my surgery because he has had it done bilaterally as well. He is also a nurse like my mom and I found comfort in his words and knowledge. He talked to me straight up and gave me all of the tips that I will need to know. He walked me through the going to sleep process as I feel very fearful of that. Then he told me what I should do when I start to wake up and look around and maybe look at my hands wiggle my fingers ever so slightly. Knowing all of this stuff about pre-op and recovery helps my brain prepare for what to expect so it doesn't feel like the unknown. He also reassured me that I will manage this and he had confidence that I will be okay. He even was prepared to take care of me at the place he was staying. That made me feel so good. Even though i'm not having surgery in his town it was so sweet to know he was gonna be there for me. I constantly and truly reach out to people that I trust and feel safe with to help regulate my system in times of need. This choosing of supportive people makes a huge difference in how you are witnessed and accompanied. I hope you enjoy an episode of empathy and what it is like to accompany another when they are having a freak out and a wave of emotions. Eric does a great job of reflecting, finding needs, hearing me and holding space while witnessing my discomfort in all this. My experience going forward might be feeling a little more ease after talking with Eric. We shall see.   CONTACT INFORMATION:Email: Livingconnected.nvc@gmail.comInstagram: livingconnectednvcLiving Connected Facebook PageWebsite: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1153175Music is brought to you by: https://www.purple-planet.com/

Eric and I talk about my role as a participant in a practice group and what he experiences as a facilitator.At the end of this episode Eric and I debriefed, and I finally figured out why I had a hard time answering the questions about the Power-over or authority in different styles of facilitators. I kept saying personality and that wasn't the word I was looking for. It was how a group is defined. Is the group, class oriented which means it has a teacher and everyone listens and the participation is less. Or is the group given an opportunity for participants to practice NVC with the facilitator guiding participants in the direction of NVC. When I heard authority in our conversation, I figured out that it was because there is a teacher role in place which makes it seem as though I am the listener and not much of a participant. I feel conflicted when to speak up and when I choose not to. There are times when I feel triggered in a group and I don't say anything. There are times when I do speak up and I don't feel heard and then I don't speak up about that. Am I minimizing my needs or am I trying to hold the groups needs as well? What happens when we have multiple people in a group who are triggered or stimulated and we all don't speak up? For me, it's so hard because I don't want to take away from the group. What if others need it more than me? Or is it because I am not sure I feel fully safe or have trust in the group or facilitators that I will be held with care. Many of you may attend a practice group and perhaps some of you may have come across these thoughts as well. I would love to know your experiences that you have had in practice groups. I am not well versed in different groups so I don't have much experience. I also want to hold myself accountable for not speaking up when I probably should have. It feels super uncomfortable sometimes to speak up when I know it may create conflict. I want to give heads up too to those who have experienced any type of abuse or trauma because I took a self-defense class and I talk a little about Human Trafficking. I just want you to know that I do hold all of you with care. I want to bring awareness that this could reactivate a trigger in some of you. When I was at the self-defense class they also mentioned that being there could re-trigger some people. My goal is to bring more awareness to what is going on, in hopes that we can save lives. If I am able to bring on Ryan to talk more about self-defense I would hope that this could help parents, teenagers, adults and or anyone who has experienced or not experienced this or may have children who may be at risk. There are a lot of feelings and needs that go into things like this. I can't wait to explore that. ResourcesAll Things PossibleVideo about sex trafficking in the Martial arts studio in OregonCONTACT INFORMATION:Email: Livingconnected.nvc@gmail.comInstagram: livingconnectednvcLiving Connected Facebook PageWebsite: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1153175Music is brought to you by: https://www.purple-planet.com/

Eric and I talk about Self-Empathy and how that shows up and what we can do to support ourselves during times that are hard. If any of you Living Connected listeners have any self-empathy strategies that have worked for you and or examples in your real life that it was hard to pull from your resources in self-empathy or empathy, we would love to know so we can share it with everyone in our Living Connected community. We would love to hear your voice in a voice memo or we can read your email. Of course this is a request if you feel safe for us to share those special parts of you. Being able to be present and show up for others is hard sometimes. Learning the tools, or skills or strategies to find a balance in being able to rejuvenate our cup, or our hearts, or our capacity can support self-care and or self-empathy. There are so many mindfulness practices that can cultivate our awareness around self-empathy. When you listen, there are moments where I have an internal dialog with my self in moments that are stressful, hard, triggering, and or anxiety driven. I explain some of the things that I say to myself so that my body isn't so activated. It is about these small moments of struggle that we can shift our thinking and rewire our brain to have more compassion, kindness, warmth and empathy towards our body, mind and souls. It is a build up of those small moments of awareness that make that shift.Listen to your body if this is hard to do, definitely find some mindfulness practices like guided mediations, somatic dialogue, or label the sensations that your body feels when certain things happen, get up and move. Our body has a beautiful way of telling us what is going on. Listen and hone in on those feelings and needs. Our body is communicating with us every day. You could say, “Thank you body for showing up and protecting me when I needed safety. I know that must have been hard”   Reach out to other humans who you know you feel safe with, trust feel warmth and accompaniment with. It is so important to keep these relationships close and know that you can find support when needed. Recognize Capacity The moment we can attune to our capacity the moment we can shift the heavy thoughts of shame, regret, inner critic talking to us with “I am doing the best that I can in this moment” “what do I need right now?” “What is my body trying to tell me?” Pause and breath even if you don't know how to do this. Try and find just a molecule of grace and warmth for yourself in your breath. When we can recognize our capacity we will be better equipped to have energy to explore our life-serving boundaries, and be able to use strategies that fill our cup.    Self-care and Self-Empathy Strategies Do what you need to do to process, move, exercise, feel peace, journal, sing, dance, listen to music, podcast, live band, read, go for a walk or hike in nature, something that allows you to let feelings move through you. These strategies for self-empathy are ways to meet our needs and support us in order to regulate our nervous system.     Resources:CNVC websiteNVCAcademyAya Caspi - 8-day NVC RetreatYvette ErasmusCONTACT INFORMATION:Email: Livingconnected.nvc@gmail.comInstagram: livingconnectednvcLiving Connected Facebook PageWebsite: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1153175Music is brought to you by: https://www.purple-planet.com/

Thank you listeners for your patience as I am not putting out as many episodes as I would like. I am still doing my best to record, edit and work full time. I am doing my best. I am also having carpal tunnel surgery May 24th, so that might put me behind too eeeek. Feel free to email me any topics you might wanna hear or explore. Maybe there is a person you would like to have on and I can try and organize a way to get them on. Let me know. This episode takes us through a somatic dialog and what that might look like when you are having really big emotions. This could be a way for you to work through some hard experiences you have gone through. I invite you to find a modality that works for you. There are so many practices out there that could support you in this journey. Please feel free to breath with us and see what comes up for you in this exercise.  Adinah Barlow is a life coach, author, and AcroYogi who knows a culture of self-care will replace violence. She was a massage therapist for 14 years and did a lot of business, leadership, self-development, and trauma-informed training. As a trauma survivor, Adinah spent 15 years healing with many tools that she now uses with her clients including Nonviolent Communication, emotional embodiment, The Work of Byron Katie, and many more. She came to know fully understand that the way we think about and treat ourselves is reflected in all of our relationships. Adinah has been a Life Coach for 3 years and loves helping people develop an amazing relationship with themselves so that they can have wonderful relationships with everybody else. She believes that as people befriend themselves and free themselves from their own violence and mental prison, our whole culture will shift to be cooperative and sustainable. Resources:Adinah Barlow WebsitePodcast – Project Relationship YouAdinah Barlow FacebookDr. Kathryne Kloos; a fabulous doctor who uses Somatic Dialogue 

We have a special guest this week Adinah Barlow and we are going to talk about Trauma and NVC. How NVC might be helpful and how it might not be helpful for a traumatic experience. This is very interesting because I am just now editing this after my major traumatic experience, and I bet this episode would have been way different if I had come in with this example of trauma. I do hope to have Adinah on again to maybe work through my car accident. My thought is that when we have major traumatic experience NVC isn't going to be the heal all. I think there are many other modalities that might be more healing. When we have PTSD, I don't think nonviolent communication is going to help. We can only guess, validate, give empathy and have compassion for someone's feelings and needs so many times and yet the vivid experience I still have remains. As a reminder that sometimes we need professional help to get us through some really tough trauma. I have a referral for neuro biofeedback, I am starting EMDR and other ways of working through this car accident. Lets dive in and see how Adinah using NVC when she is working through trauma with her clients. Resources:Adinah Barlow WebsitePodcast – Project Relationship YouAdinah Barlow FacebookRequest for support from my listeners:I need to buy a Dynamic XLR Microphone so I can have better sound quality. This can get expensive especially when mics can cost between $200 – 500$ each.  I would love your support in donating 1-10$ to my Living connected Paypal account. A little goes a long way and I truly from the bottom of my heart would appreciate it. I will also give you a huge shout out on my podcast to those who have donated. If you would prefer to be anonymous that is okay too. Let me know in the notes if you would prefer not to have a shout out of gratitude.Donations to Paypal email: Livingconnected.nvc@gmail.comCONTACT INFORMATION:Email: Livingconnected.nvc@gmail.comInstagram: livingconnectednvcLiving Connected Facebook PageWebsite: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1153175Music is brought to you by: https://www.purple-planet.com/

I wrote out this long thing of what strategies that I remembered as I was listening to the episode for the 3rd time and now...2 weeks later or more I just don't know anymore. On Feb 25th, I got into a massive car accident. I hit ice out of nowhere. My car started to fish tail, swerved and before I knew it, my car jack-knifed into on coming traffic and I crash into a truck what seemed like face on. I am safe and banged up with a concussion. I meant to send this episode out on the 1st and that didn't happen. I could have died. Seriously though, angels bubble wrapped me and saved my life because I have no idea how I survived. It was only the middle of my car left. I have a different perspective on life and how grateful I am for the angels that showed up on the scene to help me through this traumatic event. Gifts of fucking life, if you ask me... And I will be forever grateful to my dad and everyone who was there for me. The words THANK YOU are not nearly enough.  I am still thinking about all the things we didn't even touch on. Such as those who got COVID and have had long lasting affects of the virus and how it has changed the way you do things on a day-to-day basis. There are so many unmet needs to your health now and what you can and can't do. I have so much love and compassion for all of you. And I wish there was something I could do.  We all have been through so so much during this global pandemic. It is a significant time of our lives to be living. The effects of COVID have truly changed so many people's lives, physically, emotionally and environmentally. For some it has been traumatizing, feeling miserable, filled with loss and sadness so many unmet needs. For others it may have had the opposite effect where there were some new opportunities and openings for a different career path or deepening relationships and or inner growth with self-care. Eric and I talk about the improvement of the relationship with my dad and how far I have come in my own inner growth since I have started this podcast for people who want to integrate NVC into their life. This was a time to reflect on how COVID has shaped us and what we are today. Are there gifts of COVID? I would love to know your experience and to be able to share it with our listeners. If any of you would like to share your story or thoughts or maybe answer the questions that Eric ask me. Please don't hesitate to write me an email we would love to hear from you.  Request for support from my listeners:I need to buy a Dynamic XLR Microphone so I can have better sound quality. This can get expensive especially when mics can cost between $200 – 500$ each.  I would love your support in donating 1-10$ to my Living connected Paypal account. A little goes a long way and I truly from the bottom of my heart would appreciate it. I will also give you a huge shout out on my podcast to those who have donated. If you would prefer to be anonymous that is okay too. Let me know in the notes if you would prefer not to have a shout out of gratitude.Donations to Paypal email: Livingconnected.nvc@gmail.comCONTACT INFORMATION:Email: Livingconnected.nvc@gmail.comInstagram: livingconnectednvcLiving Connected Facebook PageWebsite: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1153175Music is brought to you by: https://www.purple-planet.com/

Eric and I had continued to talk after our recording and got some good stuff to add. Eric really challenged me during the previous episode and it's good to have friends who can challenge your thinking gently. He felt safe to do that and also given the response I had he can and will continue to do so. I truly believe that we grow the most when we are challenged in our thinking. Pushing the uncomfortable parts of us is learning, growth and a deeper knowing about ourselves. I really want to know where I can improve and be held accountable for and it can be a scary place to be. I hope y'all can find a little golden nugget in this short bonus episode. Request for support from my listeners:I need to buy a Dynamic XLR Microphone so I can have better sound quality. This can get expensive especially when mics can cost between $200 – 500$ each.  I would love your support in donating 1-10$ to my Living connected Paypal account. A little goes a long way and I truly from the bottom of my heart would appreciate it. I will also give you a huge shout out on my podcast to those who have donated. If you would prefer to be anonymous that is okay too. Let me know in the notes if you would prefer not to have a shout out of gratitude.Donations to Paypal email: Livingconnected.nvc@gmail.comCONTACT INFORMATION:Email: Livingconnected.nvc@gmail.comInstagram: livingconnectednvcLiving Connected Facebook PageWebsite: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1153175Music is brought to you by: https://www.purple-planet.com/

Thank you Listeners for your patience and understanding when I have some technical difficulties. I acknowledge that the audio isn't great and the next episode will be better. I appreciate you all for continuing to listen and passing along this Podcast to others. We are going to be talking about passive aggressive behavior and I have some examples from my own life I will be using. Often times people use passive aggressive behavior because they don't have the skills to express their feelings or needs effectively. Passive aggressive behavior is a pattern of indirectly expressing feelings and or needs instead of openly addressing them. This can look like non-verbal, actions, blaming, and or silent treatment, etc.When I think of the feelings of passive aggressive behavior I think about anger, frustration, hostility, irritated there could be other feelings as well. What comes up for you? Depending on the passive aggressive behavior there could be a variety of unmet needs for a person. When I was on the other end of the behavior, I felt frustrated, shocked, and confused. I had unmet needs for trust, safety, respect, and consideration.  We learn tragic ways to meet needs and passive aggressive behavior is one of these strategies that we use sometimes to avoid conflict or confrontation or we are afraid to speak directly for what we want and need. Lets explore this topic together.  Resources:My Grandmothers HandsBook of JoyRequest for support from my listeners:I need to buy a Dynamic XLR Microphone so I can have better sound quality. This can get expensive especially when mics can cost between $200 – 500$ each.  I would love your support in donating 1-10$ to my Living connected Paypal account. A little goes a long way and I truly from the bottom of my heart would appreciate it. I will also give you a huge shout out on my podcast to those who have donated. If you would prefer to be anonymous that is okay too. Let me know in the notes if you would prefer not to have a shout out of gratitude.Donations to Paypal email: Livingconnected.nvc@gmail.comCONTACT INFORMATION:Email: Livingconnected.nvc@gmail.comInstagram: livingconnectednvcLiving Connected Facebook PageWebsite: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1153175Music is brought to you by: https://www.purple-planet.com/

We get to talk about the Enneagram and I had no idea that there are so many deep levels of understanding of this modality, that I am just barely cutting the surface.Today, specifically we dive deep into the three subtypes of the Enneagram, which are Self-Preservation, Social and Sexual. In each individual Enneatype there are there three subtypes or instinctual variants/stacking. Understanding the Enneagram brings awareness to the lens that we might wear. We have the special honor and gift to introduce, Dr. Kara Nance. She said, “The Enneagram gives us a map that shows us nine different ways that humans take in their experience of the world.” She is a double board certified in both Internal Medicine and Obesity Medicine. She concentrated in the neurosciences at Princeton University and did her thesis on the genetic basis of alcoholism. Kara loves to hike, bike, interact with her 4 children and is a true student of wellbeing.Resources:Dr. Kara Nance:https://www.wellessencemd.com/provider/kara-j-nance-md-facpEnneagram classes and Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction offered on Thursday evenings on zoom throughout the year. NVC practice group 7-8pm CT on Wednesday. Email for specifics at Karajnance@gmail.comWebsites: Enneagram Institute: https://www.enneagraminstitute.com/Cathrine Bell Awaken Company – https://awakenedcompany.com/Enneagrammer - https://www.enneagrammer.com/DSM criteria - https://www.psychiatry.org/psychiatrists/practice/dsmEnneagram Podcasts:1.    David Grey – Big Hormone - https://www.johnluckovich.com/podcast2.    Beatrice Chestnut – Enneagram 2.0Books:1.    Wisdom of the enneagram – By Russ Hudson and Don Riso 2. John Luckovich - The Instinctual Drives and the Enneagram Apps –      Eat Right Now –      Craving to Quit! –      Unwinding Anxiety CONTACT INFORMATION:Email: Livingconnected.nvc@gmail.comInstagram: livingconnectednvcLiving Connected Facebook PageWebsite: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1153175Music is brought to you by: https://www.purple-planet.com/

The New Year is like a death and a birth in the sense that we are ending a year and starting a new one. We will never see 2021 again that we know of and that can be something to mourn especially if things have happened in that year or find the things that were a gift in the ending year and honor those too. We can shift or reframe how we see the birth of this New Year and what gifts this year may bring. What intentions can we set for 2022. Eric and I wanted to shift the idea of New Year's Resolution to a do-able request of ourselves. We thought about how maybe a resolution had more demand energy than a doable request. We talk about our intentions for the New Year and how we can have doable requests with those intentions. What does our next year in 2022 look like and feel like? Where does this sit in our body when we think about 2022. Let us invite ourselves to not have expectations or demands on the gift or intentions we set. A doable request can be something very small and can change if needed. If it helps ask a trusted friend to be a celebration buddy or a buddy who can hold you accountable in a kind and warm way I would suggest reaching out to someone and seeing if they would be willing. Even if it's for just a little while like a week or a month. Please write in and email us what your intentions are for the year and we can read them on the podcast. It would be great fun to hear what your intentions are and what needs/feelings you have with those intentions for 2022. Resources:Podcast: Dr. Alexandra Solomon – Reimagining LOVEEpisode #7 (Re) Gathering for the HolidaysBooksDavid Richo – TriggersTerry Reel -  https://terryreal.com/Request for support from my listeners:I need to buy a Dynamic XLR Microphone so I can have better sound quality. This can get expensive especially when mics can cost between $200 – 500$ each.  I would love your support in donating 1-10$ to my Living connected Paypal account. A little goes a long way and I truly from the bottom of my heart would appreciate it. I will also give you a huge shout out on my podcast to those who have donated. If you would prefer to be anonymous that is okay too. Let me know in the notes if you would prefer not to have a shout out of gratitude. Donations to Paypal email: Livingconnected.nvc@gmail.comCONTACT INFORMATION: Email: Livingconnected.nvc@gmail.comInstagram: livingconnectednvcFacebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/LivingConnectedNVC/Website: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1153175 Music is brought to you by: https://www

This episode had more static and I have looked it up and it could be a cord issue which is crazy to me that a year and half cord would be causing so much trouble. I sincerely apologize for the poor audio quality. In this episode we talk about the holidays and how it can be hard to figure out family stuff around the holidays. We go into a little about change and growth and what that might look like in our families.Dr. Yvette Erasmus is a psychologist, teacher, and consultant who specializes in the transformation of domination systems, human healing and growth, and supporting people to be the most loving and connected versions of themselves. Her approach synthesizes mind-body medicine, self- development tools for self-healing and authentic relating, somatic experiencing, diversity and inclusiveness, nonviolent communication, and, bringing what has been divided and fragmented into wholeness and harmony to create more life affirming healthy and interdependent living. Dr. Yvette Erasmus Resources: Website: https://www.yvetteerasmus.com/ YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/YvetteErasmusPsyDFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/yvette.erasmus/Instagram: @dryvetteerasmusWednesday Practice Group:1 hour 30 minutes • FreeA Q&A Learning Call with YvetteEvery Wednesday 10:00-11:30am CT via ZoomRegister here:https://programs.yvetteerasmus.com/conversations-from-the-heart-online/Patreon:https://www.patreon.com/yvetteerasmusCore Offerings and Free Programs:https://programs.yvetteerasmus.com/offerings/#core-offerings1. Relationship as a spiritual practice2. Boundaries course3. Parenting course4. Foundational program human 101Other Resources:Spiral dynamics – Don Beck and Clare Graveshttps://spiraldynamicsintegral.nl/en/origin/Request for support from my listeners:I am going to be moving back to Bend, OR and I would love to set up a small studio in my apartment so Kyle and I don't have to use zoom. In order to do that I would need to buy two Dynamic XLR Microphones so we can sit at the same table together, as well as a mic stand and the XLR cords to go with. This can get expensive especially when mics can cost between $200 – 500$ each. This will help me save time and not have to spend on average 8hrs of editing on each episode. Since I haven't been working because of COVID, I would love your support in donating 1-10$ to my Living connected Paypal account. A little goes a long way and I truly from the bottom of my heart would appreciate it. I will also give you a huge shout out on my podcast to those who have donated. If you would prefer to be anonymous that is okay too. Let me know in the notes if you would prefer not to have a shout out of gratitude.  Donations to Paypal email: Livingconnected.nvc@gmail.comCONTACT INFORMATION: Email: Livingconnected.nvc@gmail.comInstagram: livingconnectednvcFacebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/LivingConnectedNVC/Website: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1153175 Music is brought to you by: https://www

Michael Shawe started out in research psychology studying the origins of childhood depression which is a risk factor for depressive episodes in adults. When he was deciding on what path to choose, his advisor at the time who strongly encouraged him to be a researcher, died suddenly. Michael took time to reflect and decided on going on a more clinical path. From there he was invested in understanding people, but also aware of the impact of culture on our psychological development. He thought that might be in journalism, but the  field seemed bleak and he always enjoyed talking to people and getting to know them in the  interview process. Michael decided to take his awareness of the micro world and dedicate himself to guiding people into a deeper awareness of themselves. However, that was a long ways away from what actually occurred. He spent 7 years working with people with serious and persistent mental illness and chemical addiction from varying ages in non profits. At some point, Michael realized his interventions, while unconventional, were highly effective with his clients, but often he ran into obstacles with his superiors who found his methods untraditional.Michael's Resources: mikeshawetherapy.com Instragram: thedaoofmikeMichaels Zocdoc websiteResources:Wire Sculpturehttps://www.thisiscolossal.com/2015/09/milov-wireframe-sculpture/Different Approaches:Gestalt:https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-gestalt-psychology-2795808Internal Family Systems:https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapy-types/internal-family-systems-therapy Sensorimotor:https://sensorimotorpsychotherapy.org/Request for support from my listeners:I am going to be moving back to Bend, OR and I would love to set up a small studio in my apartment so Kyle and I don't have to use zoom. In order to do that I would need to buy two Dynamic XLR Microphones so we can sit at the same table together, as well as a mic stand and the XLR cords to go with. This can get expensive especially when mics can cost between $200 – 500$ each. This will help me save time and not have to spend on average 8hrs of editing on each episode. Since I haven't been working because of COVID, I would love your support in donating 1-10$ to my Living connected Paypal account. A little goes a long way and I truly from the bottom of my heart would appreciate it. I will also give you a huge shout out on my podcast to those who have donated. If you would prefer to be anonymous that is okay too. Let me know in the notes if you would prefer not to have a shout out of gratitude.  Donations to Paypal email: Livingconnected.nvc@gmail.comCONTACT INFORMATION: Email: Livingconnected.nvc@gmail.comInstagram: livingconnectednvcFacebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/LivingConnectedNVC/Website: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1153175 Music is brought to you by: https://www.purple-planet.com/

There was some popping in this episode. This mic created some weird static and I am so sorry, I have no idea why it did that. There are parts where its really bad. I think the coming episodes it isn't so bad or at all there. I am having a hard time finding time to edit when working full time so here we go, bare with me. I am putting episodes out the best I can. Thank you so much for your patience and care.Lelia Schott is the founder of Synergy Parenting, helping parents and children to reclaim inner peace and power. She has researched and practiced parenting for 24 years. She began writing and sharing her work around 9 years ago. Lelia specializes in therapeutic parent coaching and inner child healing. Her home is Cape Town, South Africa. Mother to four sons and two daughters. (Three of her sons are grown.) Lelia loves virtual coaching with people from all over the world.Lelia's Resources:Facebook.com/synergygentleparentingWebsite:www.leliaschott.comEmail: info@leliaschott.comResources:1. L.R. Knost:http://www.littleheartsbooks.com/about-the-authorillustrator/2. Ram Dass:https://www.ramdass.org/walking-each-other-home/Quote: “We're all just walking each other home.” ~Ram Dass3. Gabor Maté – Authenticity and Attachmenthttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l3bynimi8HQ4. Pink song: Fuckin' Perfecthttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hl0qf1pgjEs5. Dr. Daniel Siegel “Name it to tame it” & “Mindsight”https://drdansiegel.com/6. Maya Angelou — 'I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better.'7. David Richo “When the Past is Present”https://www.amazon.com/When-Past-Present-Emotional-Relationships/dp/159030571XRequest for support from my listeners:I am going to be moving back to Bend, OR and I would love to set up a small studio in my apartment so Kyle and I don't have to use zoom. In order to do that I would need to buy two Dynamic XLR Microphones so we can sit at the same table together, as well as a mic stand and the XLR cords to go with. This can get expensive especially when mics can cost between $200 – 500$ each. This will help me save time and not have to spend on average 8hrs of editing on each episode. Since I haven't been working because of COVID, I would love your support in donating 1-10$ to my Living connected Paypal account. A little goes a long way and I truly from the bottom of my heart would appreciate it. I will also give you a huge shout out on my podcast to those who have donated. If you would prefer to be anonymous that is okay too. Let me know in the notes if you would prefer not to have a shout out of gratitude.  Donations to Paypal email: Livingconnected.nvc@gmail.comCONTACT INFORMATION: Email: Livingconnected.nvc@gmail.comInstagram: livingconnectednvcFacebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/LivingConnectedNVC/Website: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1153175 Music is brought to you by: https://www.purple-planet.com/

I have finally moved to Bend and I apologized for not keeping up on the podcast. It is so hard to move and edit all at the same time. I am doing my best to keep up on it. I think about how behind I am lol. Hang in there with me. This episode is so powerful and if you are okay with a lot of tears then be prepared for the mess I bring hehe. Rachelle gives me an opportunity to heal by giving me words that my dad and mom could have said to me. We talk about how devastating our culture can be with understanding death and the dying while other societies embrace and have rituals and traditions around the dying and grief.   Rachelle Lamb is a recognized presenter, writer, poet and Nonviolent Communication℠ trainer and coach. She brings an earthy, practical yet innovative wisdom to her work curated over decades of study drawing from cultural anthropology, history, psychology, mythology, poetry, storytelling and deep ecology. Her synthesis of these disciplines provides a rich and fertile scaffolding for transformational dialogue and consistently produces powerful learning experiences for individuals and audiences who cite the learning as profound and life-changing.PROMOTIONS: To schedule private sessions with Rachelle or register for a class, please visit her website at www.RachelleLamb.com.Resources:Henry Wadsworth Longfellow once said: “If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we should find in each man's life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility.”Stephen Jenkinson: Book called: “Die Wise”Website: https://orphanwisdom.com/Matt Fraser: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mf0w9uPL7WI Book: Being Mortal Medicine and What Matters in the End By:   Atul GawandeRequest for support from my listenersI am going to be moving back to Bend, OR and I would love to set up a small studio in my apartment so Kyle and I don't have to use zoom. In order to do that I would need to buy two Dynamic XLR Microphones so we can sit at the same table together, as well as a mic stand and the XLR cords to go with. This can get expensive especially when mics can cost between $200 – 500$ each. This will help me save time and not have to spend on average 8hrs of editing on each episode. Since I haven't been working because of COVID, I would love your support in donating 1-10$ to my Living connected Paypal account. A little goes a long way and I truly from the bottom of my heart would appreciate it. I will also give you a huge shout out on my podcast to those who have donated. If you would prefer to be anonymous that is okay too. Let me know in the notes if you would prefer not to have a shout out of gratitude.  Donations to Paypal email: Livingconnected.nvc@gmail.comCONTACT INFORMATION: Email: Livingconnected.nvc@gmail.comInstagram: livingconnectednvcFacebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/LivingConnectedNVC/

I have been traveling in California seeing family and friends. I haven't put out an episode because its been so hard to edit while spending time with those I love. I am doing my best to keep up. Thank you for baring with me. Much love to you all. Our special guest is LaShelle Lowe-Chardé. She founded Wise Heart with a mission to help make a shift in consciousness about how we relate to life and each other. She dreams of a world in which becoming a relationship master is a central value in our global culture - a world in which we value and trust the quality of connection with ourselves and others as the foundation for collaborating to create and maintain a thriving life for all. Wise Heart seeks to join with others who support this shift in consciousness.Over 20 years of training and experience have led to the articulation and creation of a system that integrates Mindfulness, Hakomi, and NVC that I call Mindful Compassionate Dialogue. This system provides a roadmap to becoming a relationship master by defining and operationalizing the essential aspects of creating a confident sense of self as well engaging in the consciousness and skills that facilitate living from compassion, wisdom, mindfulness, and agency. See interactive graphic for MCD here.LaShelle is enormously grateful to the very many teachers and mentors she has had along the way and the enormous work others have done over many decades that have served our understanding of what it means to heal and live a fulfilling life.She currently lives and works in Portland, Oregon, U.S. She is happily supported there by the beauty of nature, her husband, and loving community of friends and colleagues.Request for support from my listenersI am going to be moving back to Bend, OR and I would love to set up a small studio in my apartment so Kyle and I don't have to use zoom. In order to do that I would need to buy two Dynamic XLR Microphones so we can sit at the same table together, as well as a mic stand and the XLR cords to go with. This can get expensive especially when mics can cost between $200 – 500$ each. This will help me save time and not have to spend on average 8hrs of editing on each episode. Since I haven't been working because of COVID, I would love your support in donating 1-10$ to my Living connected Paypal account. A little goes a long way and I truly from the bottom of my heart would appreciate it. I will also give you a huge shout out on my podcast to those who have donated. If you would prefer to be anonymous that is okay too. Let me know in the notes if you would prefer not to have a shout out of gratitude.  Donations to Paypal email: Livingconnected.nvc@gmail.comCONTACT INFORMATION: Email: Livingconnected.nvc@gmail.comInstagram: livingconnectednvcFacebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/LivingConnectedNVC/

OMG, if anyone has a podcast or work with audio, you would know that different mics can sound different depending on how it is set up. The mic can be up right or the top facing you. And silly Kady decided to turn the mic to face her and the sound got all jacked up lol. (face in hands) So if the audio of my voice sounds off and or different, yup that's me messin' with things before recording and not testing it. LOL We get the honor to have Mary Mackenzie on our podcast. We asked Mary several questions about her experience with NVC, how it's impacted her life moving forward, what can facilitators do when things are in high energy, and what exactly is NVC consciousness.Mary Mackenzie, M.A., is an author, trained mediator, and CNVC Certified Trainer of Nonviolent Communication. She holds a master's degree in human relations from Northern Arizona University and is the co-founder of the NVC Academy, ­the only online school for learning Nonviolent Communication.Mary teaches Nonviolent Communication and other spiritually-based programs to individuals, couples, families, organizations, and spiritual communities through a wide variety of workshops and retreats. Her book Peaceful Living: Daily Meditations for Living with Love, Healing and Compassion offers inspiring practical methods for creating peace in our everyday lives.As a pioneer of online NVC training, Mary runs her company in harmony with what she teaches. She and NVC Academy co-founder, Mark Schultz, paved the way to NVC online training in 2006 and have been instrumental in alleviating the financial and geographical barriers to learning NVC skills. One of her passions is facilitating critical dialogues between people, and she has spent more than 20 years learning a wide variety of effective processes she can draw on in a moment's notice. Known for her clear communication style, she is especially skilled in helping individuals within groups put aside their preferences and find ways to collaborate with each other that are in alignment with their values. Her ability to cut through the confusion in a group has helped many teams quickly move forward in their desired progress.Resources:To reach Mary: mary@nvcacademy.comOr visit: www.marymackenzie.net or www.nvcacademy.comRequest for support from my listenersI am going to be moving back to Bend, OR and I would love to set up a small studio in my apartment so Kyle and I don't have to use zoom. In order to do that I would need to buy two Dynamic XLR Microphones so we can sit at the same table together, as well as a mic stand and the XLR cords to go with. This can get expensive especially when mics can cost between $200 – 500$ each. This will help me save time and not have to spend on average 8hrs of editing on each episode. Since I haven't been working because of COVID, I would love your support in donating 1-10$ to my Living connected Paypal account. A little goes a long way and I truly from the bottom of my heart would appreciate it. I will also give you a huge shout out on my podcast to those who have donated. If you would prefer to be anonymous that is okay too. Let me know in the notes if you would prefer not to have a shout out of gratitude.  Donations to Paypal email: Livingconnected.nvc@gmail.comCONTACT INFORMATION: Email: Livingconnected.nvc@gmail.comInstagram: livingconnectednvcFacebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/LivingConnectedNVC/

In several episodes I was obsessed (still am) with the book Permission to Feel by Marc Bracket. I still highly recommend reading. I tried to reach out to see if he could join me on my podcast and I was given the gift to talk to Nikki who has worked along side Marc and we enjoyed an amazing connection talking together. I am grateful to introduce Nikki Elbertson, M.Ed., is the director of content and communications at the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence. In various research and training roles at the Center since 2002, she has contributed to the development, implementation, and evaluation of RULER from early childhood through high school. Nikki has co-authored many of the Center's research studies and curricula, including scholarly articles, papers, and book chapters. Her favorite emotion management strategy is teaching group fitness classes, which she's been doing since 2008.Resources:https://www.rulerapproach.org/ Book: Permission to Feel by Marc BracketRequest for support from my listenersI am going to be moving back to Bend, OR and I would love to set up a small studio in my apartment so Kyle and I don't have to use zoom. In order to do that I would need to buy two Dynamic XLR Microphones so we can sit at the same table together, as well as a mic stand and the XLR cords to go with. This can get expensive especially when mics can cost between $200 – 500$ each. This will help me save time and not have to spend on average 8hrs of editing on each episode. Since I haven't been working because of COVID, I would love your support in donating 1-10$ to my Living connected Paypal account. A little goes a long way and I truly from the bottom of my heart would appreciate it. I will also give you a huge shout out on my podcast to those who have donated. If you would prefer to be anonymous that is okay too.  Donations to Paypal email: Livingconnected.nvc@gmail.comCONTACT INFORMATION: Email: Livingconnected.nvc@gmail.comInstagram: livingconnectednvcFacebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/LivingConnectedNVC/Website: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1153175 Music is brought to you by: https://www.purple-planet.com/

We recorded this 7 days before my mom passed and I was so tired and exhausted. I had forgotten to put in my headphones in. It truly messed up my recording and you will hear my audio with both Kyle and David in the background. Because of this screw up it took me over 12 hrs to edit that is sooo long. I did give myself compassion for this. I wanted to give you heads up incase you heard some things that don't line up. I know I am behind in keeping up on releasing of episodes. It's been hard to edit when I am reliving listening to what it was like for me during my moms passing. It's hard to hear. Thank you for your patience and understanding. This is a continuation of our time with David Weinstock. We are talking about how important relationship is, when it comes to NVC. We also have a listener who wrote in some questions for David and we were able to get answers to a couple of them. David talks about his practices with NVC. We do bring in some of the mourning and celebration that both have a sense of gratitude. David said, “When we listen with empathy we are listening to life. It's the space around those moments of connection.” Parts of relationship is to know how to self-regulate. When we are in relationship with another person there might be part of our history that comes up when we have conflict. Being in relationship with another is to be in relationship with yourself. And that is having awareness for when we may need to self-regulate in high-energy moments. We can learn and grow being in the presence of others. When we feel contracted that is a sign to pay attention to, because we will then need to move into self-empathy if we can and connect to Self.David has been phenomenal to speak to and get to know during this process. I hope it is the same for you. Please don't hesitate to write us an email or send a voice memo we can share with all of our listeners. Resources:NVC Global Rising:https://www.community.nvcrising.org/CONTACT INFORMATION: Email: Livingconnected.nvc@gmail.comInstagram: livingconnectednvcFacebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/LivingConnectedNVC/Website: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1153175 Music is brought to you by: https://www.purple-planet.com/

We had the honor to have Dan on our podcast. Please feel free to send us any questions that you might have for him and we can try and have him on again to answer your questions. I wanted everyone to have a deeper understanding of the autism world that some of us may not know about. Cheers to you Dan! Daniel M. Jones (The Aspie World) is an international best selling author / video influencer with an award winning YouTube channel called The Aspie World.The Aspie World is the biggest YouTube channel dedicated to autism from an autistic person in the world. The channel is dedicated to Autism awareness and understanding from an autistic person's point of view. Creating engagement with real people to create real change in a positive and uplifting way. And also helps raise money for charities like The National Autistic Society. Daniel has a diagnosis of Autism, OCD, ADHD and Dyslexia and uses his influence to help educate people about Autism using his skills of video and social media influence.Daniel has also created the first ever neurodiverse panel talking about ADHD and Autism at VidCon US, which is the largest video convention in the world.Resources:Daniel JonesEmail: theaspieworld@gmail.comWeb: www.TheAspieWorld.com Dan's Online Course: https://learnautism.net/Dan's YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/AspieWorld1Dan's Instagram: theaspieworldDan's Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/aspergers-autism-1-podcast-the-aspie-world/id1441602028Autism alert cards: https://www.theaspieworld.com/shop/autism-alert-card/Myhim Bialik's Breakdown podcast https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/mayim-bialiks-breakdown/id1546456269?i=1000507406637Disney+ Shortfilm called “Loop”Facebook families with kiddos on the spectrum to follow: Finding Coopers Voice, Cody Speaks, Fathering Autism.CONTACT INFORMATION: Email: Livingconnected.nvc@gmail.comInstagram: livingconnectednvcFacebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/LivingConnectedNVC/Website: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1153175 Music is brought to you by: https://www.purple-planet.com/

Holly Mandel has inspired so many people in the improv work that she does. She has created programs such as the school of improv called ImprovOlution, she has a podcast and wrote a book called “Good Girls Aren't Funny”. Her work is based on women and girls on perfectionism, limits of obeying cultural ‘shoulds' and liberating one's self for the sake of all women. Holly has her degree in sociology and psychology from UCLA. She was a joy to talk to and I am super excited to share our time we had together with you listeners. There are so many avenues that NVC can be integrated in and we want to explore strategies that can also incorporate NVC. The more strategies that we have in our tool belt the better. Maybe this way of looking at the world works for you.Holly and I talk a lot about the energy that our thoughts produce and what we can manifest just by the energy we put towards certain things. What this energy is like and how energy can effect our every day mood and thoughts. Our mindset and energy can be so powerful and the changes we can see with just a bit of practice. Having this awareness of our energy can really bring in awareness to our feelings and needs in tough moments and calm moments.   Holly's Resources: 1) https://groundlings.com/people/holly-mandel2) https://www.hollymandel.com/about3) https://www.improvolution.org/about-us Book: Good Girls Aren't Funnyhttps://www.goodgirlsarentfunny.com/CONTACT INFORMATION: Email: Livingconnected.nvc@gmail.comInstagram: livingconnectednvcFacebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/LivingConnectedNVC/Website: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1153175 Music is brought to you by: https://www.purple-planet.com/

How has closure helped you? What strategies did you use to find closure in your heart? We would love to know what worked for you, send us a voice memo or an email so we can engage with our listeners. The healing that comes from the clarity of closure is so healthy and important in order for us to move forward into the next chapter of our life. When we can heal and move through acceptance it allows space in our hearts to be open to the next person in a relationship. When I have closure I feel a sense of confidence and empowerment because I can safely move on without having heavy feelings about a person, I can be happy for the other person and go on my way. Closure meets needs for freedom, solid clarity and my perspective what once was, has changed. I mourned fully and I am ready to take on the world again. Resources:Kati Morton is a licensed marriage and family therapist:Kati Morton and Sean:  Podcast – Opinions That Don't Matter (I recorded a Speak Pipe and Kati played it on Episode #75 of her podcast @ 36:30mins) CONTACT INFORMATION: Email: Livingconnected.nvc@gmail.comInstagram: livingconnectednvcFacebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/LivingConnectedNVC/Website: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1153175 Music is brought to you by: https://www.purple-planet.com/

My Mom passed away, and for those who follow my IG and FaceBook I made a post about it so you are caught up in real time.  I realize that I am several episodes behind so the information that I talk about is definitely several weeks prior. Bare with me as, I have fallen behind from being so overwhelmed with everything. When we think about the Stimulus in NVC, it's an event or situation or what a person said or did (the observation) that created a body reaction and or a feeling inside of us. The person is not the CAUSE of why our body is reacting the person would be the stimulus. The cause could be the compiled of feelings we had from another situation that happened, the cause could be our ego that is talking to us, or our jackal thoughts or judgments we had in that moment. The cause leads us to unmet needs, which then helps us understand to why we were triggered to begin with. CONTACT INFORMATION: Email: Livingconnected.nvc@gmail.comInstagram: livingconnectednvcFacebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/LivingConnectedNVC/Website: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1153175 Music is brought to you by: https://www.purple-planet.com/

BLOOPERS!!! At the secret ending lol. And with all that is going on with my mom having a month left to live, I completely forgot if I listened to this episode one time through before I exported. I would love your grace. Thanks so much. Yvette Erasmus says “Relational wounds must be healed in relation" this means, Relational healing is the idea that because some wounds occur while in relationship with others, those wounds can only be healed through relationships with others. ... It teaches the brain that there is an alternative script for relationships, and a scab can start to form on the emotional wound. When it comes to the needs that aren't met with my parents or dad, I want that healing and needs to be met by him. And sometimes there are times when we can't get needs met by the people we want to, we may not get to heal that part of us with the person who is in relation to us. There will be a mourning to this. Also is there an opportunity to have this part of me healed in relation with another close friend...? I'm not sure. In this episode we talk about how there is a reverse in empathy when we are searching to heal in relation with support and the support gets turned around to the other person instead because that person gets triggered or something comes up.  And with this happening makes it hard to have needs met for empathy and support. This can happen in families, friendships, or empathy buddies, or at work etc...Navigating this can be hard. CONTACT INFORMATION: Email: Livingconnected.nvc@gmail.comInstagram: livingconnectednvcFacebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/LivingConnectedNVC/Website: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1153175 Music is brought to you by: https://www.purple-planet.com/

Punishment / reward has been a strategy that people all over the world have used to get others to do what we want them to do. Does it work for the moment that there is discomfort in trying to figure out how to stop what is happening? Are there long term affects in the human psyche from the punishment method? Using domination “power over” rather than “power with” can be a strategy that often dismisses feelings and we learn that feelings are not acceptable. Children experience these kinds of situations over and over in a dominance/obedience culture, with a child's experience of not given a way to express their feelings authentically, they remember it in their bodies, and when they feel fear, or helplessness, this is the feeling that returns to them. This is how the idea, the practice, the strategy of dominance leads to trauma in childhood.Join us in exploring this topic of Domination Culture that we are surrounded by in our society. CONTACT INFORMATION: Email: Livingconnected.nvc@gmail.comInstagram: livingconnectednvcFacebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/LivingConnectedNVC/Website: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1153175 Music is brought to you by: https://www.purple-planet.com/

Season 2: This episode will be part one of a three part series with David Weinstock. Here is David's Biography.  David Weinstock is executive director of Liminal Somatics, a Somatic Coach through the Strozzi Institute and Stuart Heller's Five Rings Coaching Institute and originator of Somatic Consensus.  He is a certified international trainer of Nonviolent Communication and author of Becoming What You Need: Practices for Embodying Nonviolent Communication. David is also a master goldsmith(www.goldmuse.net) and has taught the peaceful art of Aikido for over 40 years.  He leads training locally and around the world, in his community, schools, prisons, organizations, and businesses. David and his wife Judith, along with 8 other families, co-founded an intentional community where they have raised their family since 1990. They have devoted their adult lives to generating Community and committing themselves to an integrated and intentional way of living. All of David's work--in particular his present organization, Liminal Somatics--is based on building our connection to one another and toward a healthy stewardship of the earth. He is committed to developing our capacity to value what each of us brings to the circle, to reclaim community and value diversity for the sake of creating a nurturing world for generations to come.In this part one episode we talk about the foundations of the NVC practice with Aikido and take you through some examples of what that looks like. David has a different approach to connecting with feelings by integrating our body sensations. Our bodies hold emotions and trauma and there are ways to heal these parts of ourselves so we can live a better life. Resources:Davids Book:1) https://www.amazon.com/Becoming-What-You-Need-Communication/dp/1973115492/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=Becoming+what+you+need&qid=1625252684&sr=8-12) www.liminalsomatics.com3) www.goldmuse.netCONTACT INFORMATION: Email: Livingconnected.nvc@gmail.comInstagram: livingconnectednvcFacebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/LivingConnectedNVC/Website: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1153175 Music is brought to you by: https://www.purple-planet.com/

SECOND SEASON COMING JULY 13th!!! WOOT WOOT!Vulnerability is can be defined in different ways depending on how you see the word. For me, vulnerability is the willingness and openness to express emotion or share your heart with someone you feel safe with and trust. When we are talking about being emotionally exposed in some way and the possibility of being judged, or criticized, we may find ourselves using survival skills or defensive mechanisms to protect us in some way. This often times can stop us from being vulnerable. In our society we are taught to not show weakness and to show weakness might be crying, to express our messy emotions fully, maybe feeling shame can be seen as weak or showing that we are scared and uncomfortable. I want us to change the way we look at vulnerability. Vulnerability is what connects us, it's strength and bravery and it's a hard thing to do. Even using NVC sometimes can be vulnerable. Join Eric and I in this conversation. Resources:Book:Sarah Peyton “Your Resonate Self” CONTACT INFORMATION: Email: Livingconnected.nvc@gmail.comInstagram: livingconnectednvcFacebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/LivingConnectedNVC/Website: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1153175 Music is brought to you by: https://www.purple-planet.com/

HOORRAYYY ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF PODCAST! Let's Celebrate!Asking for consent can show up in so many different ways in our lives. When dealing with my podcast, it's essential to ask for consent when sharing something on the podcast that belongs to someone else. When I have shared emails, or comments from listeners it's because I have asked for their consent. Sometimes, it's good to ask someone if they want a hug when they are crying or upset. Asking for consent can just be a question of “How can I best support you right now” maybe give a couple examples of listening or hugging, or lets go walk and talk. Consent can show up at work, with your kids, with your parents, friends, or intimate relationships. It's so important to know when we are feeling confused or conflicted on how to respond because that could be the clue for us to ask for consent in that situation. I have come to realize that I will be setting an intention to practice this more. Join Eric and I as we explore this topic.CONTACT INFORMATION: Email: Livingconnected.nvc@gmail.comInstagram: livingconnectednvcFacebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/LivingConnectedNVC/Website: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1153175 Music is brought to you by: https://www.purple-planet.com/

Levels of intensity can relate to how high or intense your emotions are, how intense is this situation I am in, or how is my body reacting to this experience in this now moment. We can use the levels of intensity scale to figure out where we are. Sometimes I find it easier to connect with a number when I am thinking in terms of capacity. If I am at 20% capacity and my self-awareness of my energy is really low, then showing up for others may not be where I would like it to be. The level of intensity is a scale from 0 to 5. If the lake was like glass and so still that would be considered a zero or 1. When we get up to 4 or 5 that is like the biggest 50ft wave going to crash down on you. We can't handle this, our lid is flipped and there is no calming down, at that point of intensity we just gotta ride the wave. Come and enjoy the calm waters with Eric and I today.     CONTACT INFORMATION: Email: Livingconnected.nvc@gmail.com Instagram: livingconnectednvc Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/LivingConnectedNVC/ Website: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1153175   Music is brought to you by: https://www.purple-planet.com/

There are three steps to get to emotional liberation that Marshall Rosenberg describes in his book. Eric and I discuss each step and as we do that we are both learning more about what it means to find that emotional liberation. We don’t have control over someone else’s feelings or emotions.  We can’t change how someone feels about something. We can have awareness of our own feelings. We can change or control how we feel, react or respond. Ideally we want to communicate effectively to connect in a way that lets the other person know how we feel and that their needs are important as well. Let’s Walk through these stages together to gain a better understanding.   Resources:https://about-nvc.tumblr.com/post/98642157391/from-emotional-slavery-to-emotional-liberation-the https://orncc.net/article/moving-towards-life-serving-responsibility-nvcCONTACT INFORMATION:Email: Livingconnected.nvc@gmail.comInstagram: livingconnectednvcFacebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/LivingConnectedNVC/Website: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1153175 Music is brought to you by: https://www.purple-planet.com/

ORBISCULATE!!! Eric was saying forbisculate and it made me laugh while editing. He didn't quite hear it over the zoom call.  Eric and I are feeling FUNdamental today and going to talk about how the awareness of our own feelings first, is the foundation to nonviolent communication. If we don’t know how to be attuned to how it is that our body feeling and what our heart is feeling it makes it challenging to understand how others are feeling. Self-empathy comes first and with that is the conscious awareness of how we feel on the inside. Noticing when an external experience stimulates us, what we are feeling and what is going on inside of us helps us connect deeper with ourselves. CONTACT INFORMATION:Email: Livingconnected.nvc@gmail.comInstagram: livingconnectednvcFacebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/LivingConnectedNVC/Website: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1153175 Music is brought to you by: https://www.purple-planet.com/

We will be referring to the friendship episode the time codes are down below to listen if you choose. Projecting and assuming can be tricky when it comes to NVC. When do you offer empathy, when do you ask for consent, when do you give advice, or are we even aware that we might be projecting or assuming in a conversation? We give several examples of what projection might look like to someone and how we can go about when it's happening or even after it has happened.  Timecode: Jump ahead 10mins and listen for about 3.5 minsJump to 52:57 and listen for about 2minsCONTACT INFORMATION:Email: Livingconnected.nvc@gmail.comInstagram: livingconnectednvcFacebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/LivingConnectedNVC/Website: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1153175 Music is brought to you by: https://www.purple-planet.com/